#so you totally dont miss anything if you dont watch the interview

[marvelmaniac2000]

The only thing i dont understand about Lokius is that everyone is calling it queerbaiting. And I don't know if that's because the cast behind the scenes have been giving hints about Lokius and I've just missed it or people don't actually know what queerbaiting is, because even tho I can see the hype of lokius, if you taking the shipping goggles off, there hasn't been anything there that points to them being romantically involved. When I think of queerbaiting I think of Sterek from Teen Wolf or Dastel from SPN or Johnlock from BBC Sherlock, all of which have key moments that hint to a relationship that would never happen. Idk that's my only pet peeve 🤷‍♀️

Yeahhhh for sure 😮‍💨 I try to keep away of watching any promotions or interview hints before watching anything.. that's how I approached all of the movies and tv shows, I watch most of them before jumping onto social media and go on my lil rant on tumblr 🫤 but every scene with lokius in it seem more like two characters building onto the friendship they already have (so i totally agree there's nothing that points to romantically being involved) There's nothing wrong with shipping gay characters or pandering because that's what makes it FUN, but only when it makes sense.

[onp4012]

hi, i found ur tumblr a few days ago while doing research on ramirez & read a bit into it when ur post on him was suggested (not a groupie, just interested in tc). i honestly never really believed in people being able to communicate with the dead, so reading a bit of what u are sharing on here was met with several bits of doubt. i'm writing this with full honesty, not bc i'm judging u in any way. i totally respect what u do here & as mentioned it has kept me interested. so far that i'm willing to learn & be proved wrong.

but all that has brought up one significant question for me that i haven't really understood. when u connect to a spirit, is it an aura? is it a voice? is it a shadow in the room? or is it the actual person walking around in ur space? & if u can communicate via speech is it exactly the same voice as in their prior human form?

or is it this all completely wrong & i'm totally missing every point here?

Hello, I’d like to start this answer with saying that there is no way I am offended if someone is skeptical of what I do since I am skeptical too of what other psychics say they can see or do, so dont worry, I don’t mind if you judge me since I would do the same because it’s kinda hard to verify such stuff.

Now I’m about to share with you the way I see spirits and the way I connect to them. Keep in mind that different psychics see spirits and communicate with spirits in different ways which can leave quite a lot of space for personal interpretation. When I communicate with a spirit there’s a mix of all of the ways you wrote in your question. First of all, I get a feeling that someone is around me, then I instantly try to read the energy around me to see if I’m not paranoid. If I pick up that anything has changed in the energetic field I start playing the policeman and ask them who they are and why they are here. I check if they are a real threat and if they are, I tell them to get out of my house or try to send them into the light. I felt Richard while I was taking a shower and read the overall energy when I felt a fight of flight impulse. It felt as if I’ve heard someone walking in my house even tho I live alone. That’s the feeling. I didn’t get to ask him who he wad because he instantly came forward and I could’ve seen him standing in my face smiling and I was like “WTF”. He didn’t talk until a couple of days passed. Each spirit keeps it’s voice after they pass away btw. He would knock from inside my closet, chase my cats and walk around my room. Whenever I’d sit on my bed with my feet outside the bed, I’d feel as if someone would be touching my feet which was a shitty feeling. Since I was pretty much too into true crime, I would watch interviews with him and ask him different stuff and he would answer. At some point he convinced me to think a certain way. He shown himself to me in all the ways possible, but most of the times, he wore an orange T-shirt and some jeans. So to respond to your question on short: yes, he was a shadow, yes, he was a voice, yes, he was an aura, he was everything.

You can check this post about spirits to learn about different spirits

[viktoriakomova]

Wait why do people hate Andrea Joyce?

i cant speak for anybody else but i dont like her because basically her whole job is to do stupid little vignettes of athletes and interview them on the floor immediately after they compete. theres no journalistic value to anything she's doing, its just to ~flesh out~ the ~characters~ for the viewers, ostensibly the viewers who otherwise aren't very invested in the competition and/or don't know much about the sport itself (the locals or the normies, as we i would say).

its not just gymnastics either, she works for nbc so she does a bunch of other sports. similar to how al trautwig would commentate other sports besides gymnastics for nbc broadcasts except for the other sports he actually bothered to be knowledgeable and have something valuable to say other than what he did for gymnastics which was being intentionally obtuse so that tim and elfi/nastia could correct him in an attempt to teach the audience something about the sport they're watching

and in some ways i feel bad for her bc thats like her "role" on the broadcasts and idk if she's purposefully being annoying or if that's nbc sports producers pushing her to do those featurettes and ask those questions. but yeah they trot her out to do asinine little micro-reports on every major mainstream broadcast (nationals in the olympic year or the year before the olympics, olympic trials, and of course the actual olympic games) or tell an anecdotal story about a gymnast while they're warming up between rotations to fill the time. a great example of this is the ragan smith bead story in 2016 lmaoooo. she did somehting else with bailie key's stickers in 2015 (but i put a lot of the blame for that on kim zmeskal (the coach of both girls) bc shes the one who 1) did something that childish with her teenage gymnasts in the first place and 2) told the press about it) i posted something about that i'll find it and reblog it if i can lol

where i have a major problem with her, objectively, is when she doesnt give the athletes space to decompress after they compete (again this could very well be the fault of the producers but i think at this point shes been doing it for over a decade now and she probably has the social capital with nbc to tell them no and/or refuse to do it...). for example she (they) MADE jordyn wieber talk to her for a minute or two ON CAMERA after QF in london when she was still ACTIVELY SOBBING because she got bumped from the AA final. she was the reigning world AA champion from 2011 and was being hyped by nbc throughout the pre-olympic season as THE usa gymnastics it-girl, all for her lifelong dream to come crashing down on the first day she competed :/ its obviously cruel to do that to a 17 year old girl whose dreams unceremoniously ended just minutes prior BUT ITS JUICY TELEVISION AND A GREAT STORY LINE SO LEMME SHOVE A MICROPHONE RIGHT IN YOUR FACE :) BECAUSE RATINGS :)

and like i said, she doesnt just do gymnastics (which imho makes it worse because when you know that, its obvious that she isn't hired to do this job because she knows the sport. although lowkey that's obvious based on the fluff questions she asks the athletes, it's got nothing to do with the sport it's just to build a kind of familiarity or affection with the athletes than nbc is pushing as the headlining stars of the olympics). she does figure skating too and the interviews/reporting she does there are just as empty and trivial as what she does for gymnastics. although the interviews she did with adam rippon are fucking hilarious (mostly because she has no idea how to react) and i highly recommend

she also did swimming stuff in 2012 iirc (she probably does several sports but i only really watch gymnastics and figure skating) and she would be asking swimmers questions WHILE THEY WERE STILL SOAKING WET AND OUT OF BREATH. LITERALLY RIGHT AFTER THEY FINISHED THE RACE. LIKE 30 SECONDS AFTER THEY CLIMBED OUT OF THE POOL.

tl;dr :

she just kind of embodies everything wrong with nbc's coverage of the olympics and treatment of the athletes whose combined decades of hard labor make the media feeding frenzy every 4 years (every 2 years if we're counting the winter games too) possible. its dehumanizing and reductive and serves no meaningful purpose to anybody's appreciation or enjoyment of the sports they're watching. its a totally superfluous job and nobody would miss it or even notice it was gone if it were eliminated overnight

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [is gonna rock up late despite literally living with Charlie so enjoy the entrance everybody]

Joe: [when you weren’t invited but still gonna show up like you have somewhere better to be, love that for you, the effort we’ve not gone to because we live here so it’s kinda okay but not really Joseph, also I imagine kinda shook she ended up showing]

Ronnie: [likewise in the sense that she dresses the same everywhere she goes unless it’s a job interview or court appearance lol but we know she looks good if you’re Joseph and into it, I imagine her zoning in on Jamie immediately like who the fuck is this and then oh I’ve heard nothing about you kinda energy soz gal]

Joe: [rude but not untrue in this case, at least Charlie can make it seem like you’re joking and Joe can go get you a drink like soz this is all we have energy ‘cos in jokes]

Ronnie: [I highly doubt they have enough seats around that table so I also imagine her dragging up something to sit on like yeah I’m here to stay bitches and drinking Joe’s drink while he’s gone as a throwback to when she did when they met at that gig and cos we’re obvs claiming him LOL]

Joe: [we know the food is gonna be studenty anyway so having smaller portions won’t kill any of us lmao, just dying at how shocked Sophie is having to conceal she is, host on queen, boring boyfriend having no opinions of course]

Ronnie: [don’t worry gal depending how much of a jealous rage we get into we probably won’t be eating it so you’ll still have brownies left, her face would be iconic and I totally picture Marc on his phone the entire time because Paul used to do that when he was with Trace]

Joe: [giving nothing to this bizarre situation, too real, Charlie and Sophie holding this together, soz guys, Joe jus amused af, do we sit opposite or next to hmm]

Ronnie: [read that as soz gays, ILY mum & dad, I think he needs to sit opposite Jamie so that she can accuse them of eye fucking each other or whatever so probably next to]

Joe: [okay yes gather ‘round everyone]

Ronnie: she lives here

Joe: yeah I told you, Silent Bob’s gf

Ronnie: you said he had a bitch not shes been chained to the radiator since youse lot moved in

Joe: maybe that’s his secret

Ronnie: whens he letting you have your go

Joe: got my own radiator you can have a go on when this is over

Joe: not to brag or nothing

Ronnie: wont be over til the fat flatmate sings & the other one sucking you off while her & mariah duet and the boyfriend pretends he aint watching youse instead is fuck all to brag about

Joe: be lucky if it got close to that level of mildly interesting

Joe: where are you in all this then

Ronnie: under the sink looking for drain cleaner or whatever else i can drink

Joe: why do you get to have all the fun?

Ronnie: i dont waste my time asking bullshit questions

Joe: how are we gonna waste our time

Ronnie: im gonna kill your shared girlfriend & youre gonna cry about it

Joe: I don’t think I am

Joe: no amount of tragedy is gonna breakthrough the chemical fog

Ronnie: you would if you could

Joe: [🙄 at her]

Ronnie: [tips however much is left of her drink into his lap not at all accidentally but we know Charlie and Soph will pretend it was]

Joe: [whip them off to go get changed boy]

Ronnie: [when you wanna follow him but you just gotta glare instead]

Joe: [probably taking whatever we’ve got in to make this go easier, ‘scuse us, so much missing out]

Ronnie: [you know she turned up already on something so do what you gotta do Joseph]

Joe: [Jamie should be talking to you about uni things thus alienating everyone else a lil ‘cos that is a bit rude and will annoy you gal]

Ronnie: [fully just opening up a wound over here literally cos she was already jealous but did not realise they had this much shit in common or anything in common actually so we’re just livid and bleeding]

Joe: [Sophie just running with the kitchen roll like omg do we have bandages guys like oh babe you truly only mean well, Charlie just giving the can you not looks of it all, Joe just jealous because we’ve obviously got our long sleeves]

Ronnie: [a spoken out loud fuck you at everyone but mainly Joe as we go to the bathroom to not deal with this but instead evoke the energy of when Mae downed that mouthwash because she definitely would and also go through the cabinets for anything sharp obvs]

Joe: [at least you can go under the guise of checking on her but really you’re just seeing what she’s doing]

Ronnie: [1000% have not locked the door because we wanted him to follow us but that won’t stop her telling him to get out because walking contradiction forever]

Joe: [locks it behind him in response]

Ronnie: [the most intense glare in response because could not be more livid rn]

Joe: [grabbing wherever the wound is like we’re gonna kiss it better or something like Soph for a casual bit of blood drinking]

Ronnie: [obviously have to push him away really hard because we’re obviously really into it and excuse you boy we’re trying to be angry and hate you, soz to all the flatmates when you hear that crashing about]

Joe: [lmao this tiny bathroom getting destroyed, steady yourself and her despite that clearly not being what she wants right now, roll up a sleeve ‘you never did the X’]

Ronnie: [the glorious visual of trying to get past him to leave/push him away again at the same time in a small space so you just end up pressed up against each other and the door making eye contact and it’s hot af ‘you never took me anywhere’]

Joe: [‘so let me’ do you mean let’s get out of here or in a saucy way either or you skinny as hell girl so if you not really trying to leave it’s easy not to let you]

Ronnie: [‘she’ll let you’ because we’re not just dropping this even if we want to]

Joe: [‘who?’ like an oblivious boy ‘cos clearly not where our head is]

Ronnie: [a really vicious read of Jamie based on what we’re learned this evening that I’m not gonna do because I am not that mean but it’s obvious it’s her and not Sophie we’re talking about, hope you don’t hear us gal]

Joe: [‘I’m not interested’ in every sense right now ‘and you know that, stop pissing about’]

Ronnie: [‘wasn’t any other cunt round the table hanging on her every fucking word, I know that’ because that was blatant Jamie]

Joe: [‘I can’t help it that her fella’s an accountant’ what do you do Marc, do any of us know lol, shrugs ‘we go to the same school, that’s it’ and a look like whatever the fuck this is is clearly more]

Ronnie: [she would wanna lol but we can’t because still mad ‘that’s it?’ not actually a question though more like you better be telling the truth boy ‘why the fuck have you never told me about her then?’]

Joe: [‘I thought I had when I said he had a girlfriend’ not not a lie ‘none of them are what I want to talk about, that’s it’]

Ronnie: [‘you were thinking with this’ grabbing his dick when we say so ‘that’s it’ cos even if that was true Joseph we shade the rest of the flatmates often and you know damn well we love doing it]

Joe: [shakes head even though we are very clearly into that ‘she’s no Soph’ like it wouldn’t be as funny soz]

Ronnie: [‘is right’ like yeah I know you actually seriously wanna get with her, and moving away but not to leave but to pick back up whatever implement we were gonna hurt ourselves with before he came in but didn’t get chance to because we’re genuinely upset]

Joe: [literally putting ourselves in front of it like no ‘Ronnie’ like I don’t know how you’re going to even put it into words boy so it’s mainly a !!! look]

Ronnie: [a look that starts out like don’t try and stop me/fuck you but turns into !! when his does like say something/do something if you mean it]

Joe: [got to go in and kiss you whilst making her push whatever she was gonna use on herself into him, now or never, enjoy the tension finally getting released]

Ronnie: [obviously we’re kissing you back so we all know what’s gonna happen next lol, soz flatmates I really hope you can’t hear anything, especially Charlie cos you actually know they’re related]

Joe: [it is not a big flat so keep quiet, just think he’s comforting her for all this time or what, god bless]

Ronnie: [she would be trying to keep quiet but not for y’all more so he thinks she’s unimpressed/not that into it but that would literally last all of a second because she’s obviously very into it]

Joe: [the levels you aren’t gonna wanna go back in but can’t be seen as being romantic lads]

Ronnie: [I could easily have her leave if we want though because it’s a fact that she doesn’t wanna be here and everyone would be relieved except Joseph]

Joe: [that probably makes sense, honestly, and you’ve freaked them all out, as was the point]

Ronnie: [and lbr you’ve freaked yourselves out with how good that hook up was too so]

Joe: [just go hide in your room like you’re very taxed by that in an acceptable way boy]

Ronnie: [god knows where you’re gonna go gal but please don’t OD again like you literally did in Margate no time ago]

Joe: [the headfuckery]

Ronnie: [poor Charlie just like UMMM WTF cos she must look bad even for her rn and we’ve behaved terribly and then literally legged it so]

Joe: [thank god you’re such a natural party go-er so you can make up some excuse to put them all at relative ease but yeah, for sure like excuse me]

Ronnie: [might be fun to do a convo between them when we’re done with this one]

Joe: [I’m down even though I really haven’t used him yet, I’ll give it a go]

Ronnie: [yeah it’s been forever since we did the group chats with them and Bronson and Bea it feels like another life, I can send you the convo we did where she told him she met Joe if you like cos I re-read that the other day and it was pretty good]

Ronnie: [but the real question is who’s gonna break first and start a convo and how long are we leaving it?]

Joe: [please do ‘cos did not realize we’d done that tbh]

Joe: [I could make a case for either of them, him to prove he meant it as he left it last time but her so she can’t automatically be on the ‘it meant nothing’ total defensive hmm]

Joe: [some hours later when the party is over, or could be]

Joe: Charlie was going pub, he’s left here though

Ronnie: [even later because whatever she’s doing she’s messy and can’t reply to the extent that she doesn’t need to because he won’t be expecting her to and yet here we are]

Ronnie: did whitney ask you to pass it on to us cos hes still disappointed like

Joe: couldn’t say

Joe: just letting you know that you’ll have a free gaff for a while longer

Ronnie: where have i chucked the other one for the sake of this free gaff in your mind mckenna

Joe: alright, free rooms better than fuck all

Ronnie: its his emmy oggie i aint there either

Joe: anywhere good?

Ronnie: compared to what

Joe: established it’s no brag compared to tonight

Ronnie: not gonna stop you comparing me & her

Joe: compare to what?

Joe: pleasantries over cocopops

Ronnie: youll be interested in eating her out now youve got what you wanted off me

Ronnie: 9 is easier to carve than an 8 and you wont look like youre trying to copy the infinity sign one of your other exes wouldve got inked on her

Joe: it’s not remotely the fucking same

Joe: if I was arsed about getting my numbers up there’s millions of girls in this city I could hit up before you

Ronnie: yeah youre not related to any of em and theyd have less clue how to shoot up than you do

Joe: even if the related bit was ringing 100% true, you’re the only user in town now?

Joe: you don’t have to pervert it when it already was

Ronnie: youre already romanticising it like a fucking 13 year old so yeah i do cause one of us has to get real

Joe: you reckon I’m so okay with it just because I can admit I wanted it

Joe: who do you reckon you’re lying to like I weren’t there

Ronnie: who do you reckon youre talking to like i didnt fucking leave you there for a reason

Joe: Fuck off

Ronnie: i did

Joe: for someone who reckons they’re so open, you chat so much shit

Ronnie: open to what soft lad infection

Joe: scars and trackmarks on your sleeve

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: you didn’t miss much

Ronnie: no shit you didnt just invite me cause you wanted to fuck me

Ronnie: can do that anywhere

Joe: yeah and you didn’t just wanna come to make Soph cry, like

Ronnie: i owed you

Joe: get it off your to-do list then

Joe: well done

Ronnie: stop crying youll never look as ugly as horse girl doing it or go for as long as her

Joe: you love her, we all 👀

Ronnie: i said shut up

Joe: no, you say something that’s not stupid

Ronnie: what for fucks sake

Ronnie: what did you reckon id say when you started chatting shit like nothing happened

Joe: alright, I don’t know

Joe: it happened, right

Ronnie: you werent hallucinating

Joe: nothing that makes that happen in the bathroom cupboard

Joe: I don’t regret it, I know that

Ronnie: meant to be made up to hear it am i

Joe: nah, probably not

Joe: but you wanted me to talk about it so I am

Ronnie: i wanted you to take the fucking hint when i legged it as soon as

Joe: you could’ve blocked me, so

Joe: pardon me for not taking it that seriously

Ronnie: not your crazy ex & i couldnt deny you your bullshit heroics

Ronnie: mary aint carrying me anywhere and i know how bad you wanna see me turn blue

Joe: you like having a stalker, is what you mean

Ronnie: block me and get your whore flatmate to tell you what she likes about you

Ronnie: weve established i aint got the talent to sing no cunts praises

Joe: we’ve established I’m not interested in that

Ronnie: cause you want me to tell you how smart you are at fucking me instead of beat the shit out of you

Ronnie: it wont last

Joe: familys forever, sis

Ronnie: not to your ma baby

Ronnie: did i look enough like her for you

Joe: what do you reckon

Joe: your theory, not mine

Ronnie: mustve youve still not fucked off

Joe: you’ve got room for another face tat or two

Ronnie: go do that then

Joe: you can leave out the yes sir

Joe: not my fantasy

Ronnie: no shit like youve been my bitch since you hit send on facebook

Joe: 😂

Joe: I’ve been worse

Ronnie: you trying to turn me on or what its a bit late for it

Joe: just the once, alright

Joe: bit cliche but probably for the best considering

Joe: very sensible of you

Ronnie: cliche that my da didnt stick around long enough for his side of the family to properly cut or sew me up so ive gotta regret not getting chance to put a razor blade inside me before you 💔

Ronnie: now youre gonna reckon i care youve said the once ll do when i just hate you & hate how you fuck even more

Joe: Could’ve said it was about as much fun as

Joe: it’s alright

Joe: both confused, clearly

Ronnie: youre not confused youre fucking smug

Joe: hardly another achievement for the fridge door

Joe: what’s to be smug about

Ronnie: probably for the best i dont answer that if thats how you feel

Joe: come on

Joe: aside from proving you were full of shit about not wanting to as well

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: you don’t want me to say how I really feel

Ronnie: making me cum earlier dont mean you know what i want now

Joe: right, you want me to declare my love so you get more out of telling me to fuck off, that’s more like it

Ronnie: do i fuck

Joe: then what do you want

Ronnie: like you give the slightest shit

Joe: I do too

Ronnie: no you dont

Joe: I fucking do

Joe: [prove it in a way only y’all would, carve her name or something]

Ronnie: [send him your own pics of the bite marks you’re covered in which is a self harming thing you’ve not done since you were a kid because it’s been a headfuck every second since you two met and we’re not coping honey]

Joe: you hungry?

Joe: you didn’t eat fuck all, I mean

Joe: could get something not dubiously prepared by Soph

Ronnie: hungry as you are funny

Joe: I weren’t trying to be

Joe: on the spectrum, or whatever you said

Ronnie: you wish you had the excuse or the musical prodigy status

Joe: 💔 about that genuinely

Joe: just a dickhead

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: I don’t know what to say

Joe: there’s no point saying I’m sorry

Ronnie: no point is right youre not sorry

Joe: nah

Joe: it’d be lovely for you if I’d found you and you were fine

Joe: but like you said, it ain’t about me or her, it’s about loads of shit and you clearly weren’t so

Joe: just seems pointless

Ronnie: im made up you finally got your head round it

Joe: Yeah well, I didn’t tell you I was a good person

Joe: don’t mean I don’t give no fucks, just ‘cos I ain’t trying to save you

Ronnie: you keep telling me you aint like it matters to me who you are

Joe: yeah, it doesn’t in why you’re fucked

Joe: but what do you want from me

Ronnie: its your fucking fault im like this climbing the walls same as when i was a kid

Joe: yeah ‘cos you were doing really great before weren’t ya

Ronnie: all you give a fuck about is letting yourself off the fucking hook

Joe: Blame me then what does it change

Joe: do something about it other than fucking yourself up, I don’t care

Ronnie: stop lying that youre bothered if your only answer to me losing my mind is that i was before

Joe: I can’t help you

Joe: If you thought I could, though why the fuck you would

Joe: then I am sorry

Ronnie: 💔🖕

Joe: I’ve got my own problems

Joe: if I had any solutions, I’d light ‘em up and shoot them into myself first, naturally

Ronnie: youve got a solution i gave it to you

Ronnie: why the fuck would you make me feel something

Joe: Selfishness

Joe: pure and simple

Ronnie: on your way to a grown up habit im dead proud

Joe: what more could I want

Ronnie: that to scab over seeing as youve finally admitted its bullshit

Joe: I still think about you constantly

Joe: I still want to know everything about you

Joe: I’d rot with you

Ronnie: youve got your own problems to think about

Joe: yeah, and that’s hell

Joe: I’ve done plenty of that

Ronnie: yeah and youve got your escape

Joe: take yours

Joe: can have plan bs and cs even if a is the best

Ronnie: youre the kid who tells the rest to jump off a bridge

Ronnie: cute

Joe: you’re implying I wouldn’t and all

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what you do but i aint giving you the satisfaction of being the last fuck i ever had

Ronnie: youd cling to life long enough to write a pathetic song about it

Joe: that’s the nicest thing you’ve said

Joe: which is saying something ‘cos you’re so sweet, like

Ronnie: youre welcome

Joe: I’ll do a Dylan style ballad about all your 👼🏼 deeds

Ronnie: thats the biggest turn off out of everything youve ever said or done

Joe: thank god, you’re insatiable 😏

Ronnie: once you said

Joe: not for my benefit

Ronnie: its all only for your benefit remember

Joe: if that were true you’d still be here

Ronnie: if it was true i could be

Joe: come back

Ronnie: cant ive got a face tat to get done

Joe: I understand

Joe: my art isn’t there yet

Joe: won’t ruin your beauty

Ronnie: go ed and chuck yourself off a bridge you dont have to wait for me to boot your door in & do you in for chatting shit

Joe: well I am already devvo I’m not a prodigy so yeah, add lack of a steady hand to the list of failures

Joe: probably the meds

Joe: you know being poetic is all I do, why have we downgraded it to chatting shit 💔

Ronnie: why are you calling me beautiful when you could write it in your suicide note for your ma theres your downgrade

Joe: you’re too romantic for your own good

Joe: I wouldn’t be writing a note, sorry to dash your illusions

Ronnie: not me saying i get you mckenna thats your delusion

Ronnie: what are you gonna draw on me then

Joe: you do but it’s more fun to take the piss and pretend you don’t so

Joe: That is the question

Joe: won’t brand you, don’t worry

Ronnie: if i dont want it ill cut it out no pressure

Joe: it’s just skin right

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: how olds your oldest scar

Ronnie: older than you

Joe: what did you do

Ronnie: i used to take headbanging literally

Joe: ah, the floor never saw you coming, yeah

Joe: I have a head scar too [cos he either does or did on the stalker show idk but there we go with a photo like she probably knows hun]

Ronnie: [I just imagine her smiling to herself like yeah I know nerd]

Ronnie: cant both be poets had to express myself somehow before i pushed a safety pin through my cheek

Joe: that explains the permanent 😾

Joe: fucked the muscles, like

Ronnie: your shit jokes do

Joe: it was always easier to just start fights to get hurt

Joe: when I was a kid

Joe: though you work out ways to be sneaky fast, if you have to

Ronnie: they didnt wanna fight me

Joe: everyday sexism strikes again

Ronnie: fuck off not cos im a girl

Joe: why then

Ronnie: wouldnt be me getting hurt and if i was i didnt care

Ronnie: all those mental problems you told that call centre cunt about like

Joe: ‘course you were too proud to make it count

Joe: have to let them get some punches in or there was no point, yeah

Ronnie: no point in fitz flouncing in either fun though

Joe: true

Joe: I’ve got a brother and all, I remember what it’s like

Ronnie: scraps never went far enough

Joe: yeah

Joe: most kids aren’t that psycho

Ronnie: 💔

Joe: being misunderstood served me so well for the whole musician thing so whatever, I guess

Ronnie: i mightve bothered keeping some of my bastards about if they were guaranteed nutters thatd serve you well

Joe: you’d get your own room then, like

Joe: even if you had to pack them to the rafters

Ronnie: for a stalker youre dead concerned about my privacy

Joe: nah, ‘course not

Joe: I’d rather have a place to do the gear without the possibility of Soph or Charlie 🥺ing at us obvs, nothing but selfishness

Ronnie: theres loads of places

Joe: you can show me

Ronnie: is she there now she can let me in

Joe: no idea

Joe: their room is near the door, makes sense they’d be your first victims

Ronnie: youre too selfish to get off your arse and do it

Joe: if you’re coming I’ll carry you in myself, you know that

Ronnie: ill be there and youll still be going on about what youre gonna do

Ronnie: no wonder the other kids kept smacking you

Joe: yeah, all mouth me, deffo what I was known for

Joe: not a euphemism and I don’t think they were wishing it was but who knows

Ronnie: you sure you dont want charlie giving you the eye

Ronnie: how it sounds

Joe: I’m alright, tah

Joe: pretty sure he’s over it now I’m enabling you

Ronnie: hes over everything thats not horse girls from kent but reckons the fucking lost causes are us

Joe: He clearly just gives a shit about appearances

Joe: looking nice, polite

Joe: they’ll never speak again, like

Ronnie: forget him

Ronnie: open the door

Joe: [do that boy]

Ronnie: [boop his little head scar as you come in like oh there it is]

Joe: [‘s’not even a good story’ and producing some takeaway moment from the kitchen as you go through ‘cos the dinner party was not heavy on the dinner bit]

Ronnie: [a look like ffs because people caring in any way ew no but we are gonna eat it because probably haven't since that Margate moment]

Joe: [shrugging like bitch I’m hungry as we tuck in, obviously]

Ronnie: [kick him while you've still got your big boots on but playfully not aggressively]

Joe: [😏 but in a more genuine way than that cocky face looks, I am vibing Chinese not that that matters but there we go]

Ronnie: [weirdly I also thought that maybe because it's one of the grossest haha but yeah eat your food lads]

Joe: [greasy greasy goodness, love the subtle shade if any of them come out for a cuppa or whatever like oh hello again lol]

Ronnie: [I hope it's oblivious Marc just living his life]

Joe: [that’d be most amusing, unbothered, casually]

Ronnie: [I just imagine them doing stuff to try and make him notice like when people stack stuff on a sleeping person but idk what you could do in that little kitchen]

Joe: [for sure, just being subtly annoying/weird and he is just like does not compute ‘cos we mind our own business, so childish]

Ronnie: [love that for you two]

Joe: [we stan the regression for you]

[embeanwrites]

Finding Home Gavin Reed x Reader

Chapter 23

Masterlist

It took Gavin and me a total of 30 minutes to get dressed and head to the hospital my dad was at. I tried calling Connor in the car, but he didn’t answer, which caused me to worry even more.

Gavin was driving and he had one hand firmly on my leg that kept bouncing up and down. How did this happen? I kept asking myself as I stared out the window. I thought he was taking care of himself more. Why did this have to happen now? Right when things were getting better between us. Gavin pulled up to the hospital and stopped the car at the emergency room front doors.  

“Go find Connor. I’ll park and catch up.” I nodded and jumped out of the car, practically running into the hospital. I followed the signs for the surgery waiting room. I looked through the door window and saw Connor sitting in a chair with his eyes forward. When I pushed the door open he quickly looked over and got up. I ran to him and hugged him tightly, trying not to cry. He held me equally as tight.  

“What happened?” My voice was raspy, while my mind was racing the rest of my body was still trying to wake up.

“He got up in the middle of the night for a glass of water and I heard the glass drop from my room. I called the ambulance right away. They’re performing an atherectomy right now.” He pulled out of the hug and I reluctantly let go of him.

“Have…” I paused trying to stop myself from crying. “Have the doctors given you any updates?” I heard the door open again and in a second Gavin’s arms were around me. I grabbed his hands and held them tightly, welcoming the warmth and comfort. I noticed my hands were shaking, so I gripped his hands tighter in an attempt to steady them.  

“No, nothing yet. I have only been here for an hour. The surgery takes about two and recovery is about three hours, but that’s according to averages. I don’t know if it will be shorter or longer.” I nodded. “I didn’t mean to make you rush here. Humans need sleep, (Y/n). You can go home and I can call you the moment I get any update.” Connor said softly, I quickly shook my head.

“No, I’m staying here with you.” He started to argue. “Connor, I’m not budging on this.” I untangled myself from Gavin and turned to look at him. I gently took my hands and cupped his cheeks, running my thumbs across his stubble. “Gavin, you have work in a couple of hours, you should go home and get some rest.”

“I’m staying with you for as long as I can. I’ve run on less sleep before.” He put his hands over mine and gently pulled them down. He squeezed my hands and I nodded, grateful he was willing to stay. Connor sat back down and I sat next to him. I grabbed both of their hands and held them.

I woke up still in the waiting room. I must have fallen asleep at some point. Groaning, I sat up and wiped my mouth. I looked over at Connor.

“Oh my god, Connor. I’m so sorry I drooled on you. You should’ve woken me up.” I looked over to my left where Gavin had been.

“He had to get to the precinct. We both decided it would be best not to wake you.” I nodded and yawned. “There have been no updates, but I expect we will hear something soon.” I laid my head back on Connor’s shoulder.

“Are you scared?” I asked softly.

“The surgery has a high survival rate and the ambulance got to the house in under five minutes. Despite those reassuring facts, I still find myself worried.” Connor whispered. I noticed his LED for the first time since arriving. It was red.

“He’s strong, survived a lot. This won’t be any different.” I tried to reassure him, but I knew he could tell I was equally worried.

Another half-hour passed before a doctor finally came to talk to us. Both us stood up and met him halfway. I had my arm wrapped around Connor’s to keep myself from shaking too much.

“Ma’am, are you a part of the Anderson family?”

“Yes, we’re both his kids,” I answered quickly, the doctor gave Connor’s LED a quick glance, but decided not to say anything.

“He got here just in time. The surgery took longer than expected, but there were no major complications. He’s in recovery now.”

“Can we see him?” I asked.

“He’s resting right now. He’ll be in recovery for a couple of hours and then he’ll be moved to an inpatient room. I can have one of the nurses come to get you when he’s been moved.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Connor said. He gave us a tightlipped smile and walked away. We both sat back down. I felt exhausted but relieved. ��Maybe you should go home and get some rest.” I shook my head and pulled out my phone.

“No, I’m not leaving.” I went to my email and sent my students an email.

Hi everyone,

Due to a family emergency, we will not be meeting in person on Tuesday. Instead, I am going to post a movie, and then on Thursday, we will discuss how the themes of the movie apply to what we are learning. Don’t worry, the film’s target audience was kids so we should have no problem discussing it. If you’d like to get ahead the film is “The Iron Giant.”

I will see you all on Thursday,

Dr. (L/n)

I decided to send Gavin an update text while I was on my phone.

Dad’s in recovery, the surgery went well. We’ll be able to see him in a couple of hours.

thats good. how r u feeling

Tired and worried. I canceled my class on Tuesday.

im going to talk to fowler, see if i can get time off

You don’t have to.

i know

on a case, ill stop by on my lunch break text me the rm #

Okay, stay safe

I took a deep breath and looked at Connor, his LED was still red.

“Have you told Fowler?” Connor remained to look forward.

“Yes, I alerted him last night. He put us both on leave so I can stay with Hank while he recovers. Nines has also offered to help cover our cases.” I nodded.

“I'll be there for him too, you don’t have to do this alone. My class is only two days a week and I can do my research from home.”

“I appreciate that, (Y/n).” Connor gently reached over and held my hand, I gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand, hoping to show him that he’s truly not alone in this.

We both sat in silence waiting for the nurse to come get us. After what felt like 10 hours she finally came over and led us to his room.

It was weird seeing dad in a hospital bed. It reminded me of my mom. When she was sick I got so desensitized to hospitals. We were in and out so often that it almost became a second home, a lot of the nurses even knew my name and kept up with my life. However, being here now makes it feel like the first time all over again. I hadn’t realized I had still been holding Connor’s hand until he gave me a light squeeze. Dad looked to be waking up.

“Hey Dad,” I said softly, letting go of Connor’s hand to sit in one of the chairs near him. I reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Hey kids,” Dad said hoarsely. “Sorry for scaring you two.” I shook my head back and forth quickly, afraid if I tried talking I would start crying again. I looked up at Connor who took the seat across from me.

“We’re just glad you’re okay, Hank,” Connor said softly.

“Connor, I think we’re pass you calling me Hank.”

“We’re just glad you’re okay...dad.” The three of us smiled and my dad gave a light chuckle.

I’ve been staying at the house for about two weeks now. I had only seen Gavin briefly on Tuesdays and Thursdays when he would stop by my office on his lunch break to check in on me. I can tell that everyone around me was walking on eggshells, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I felt as if I was coasting and I couldn’t seem to break out. Gavin was being extremely understanding of this whole situation. He’d even sent flowers to my office and some flowers to my dad. He also sent a bottle of whiskey that Connor immediately confiscated.

Connor ended up giving up his “room” so I could sleep there while I was helping him with dad. I tried to talk him out of it, but all he really used it for was to store clothes since he didn’t need sleep. He didn’t mind going into stasis on the couch. Connor seemed grateful that I stayed around to relieve some of the burden, besides it was nice being able to spend time with just Connor. I also think dad appreciated me being here to stop Connor from going crazy about his health and what he was eating. I did agree to an extent, but blanched chicken breast with no seasoning, not even a little bit of salt, is crazy.  

Connor and I were sitting on the couch watching some forensics show, that Connor enjoyed picking apart, while dad was resting in the other room. He seemed to be doing a lot better, but I couldn’t bring myself to go back to my apartment except to get clean clothes.

do u wanna come over tonight? connor can handle taking care of ur dad for one night

I don’t know, I have a phone interview tomorrow for my research.

tomorrows saturday

I know, but I’m interviewing Chris and that’s his day off.

u can do a phone interview from my house tho

i know u dont want to leave him yet but its one night and u need a break

ask connor he agrees with me

I bit my lip and looked up at Connor. His brows were furrowed as he rolled his eyes at something the “detective” said on tv. I kicked him softly with my foot to get his attention.

“Do you want me to leave?” I asked tentatively. Connor gave me a gentle look and a small smile. He turned towards me and folded his hands in his lap.

“I think a break is healthy, (Y/n). You only leave the house to go to your class and office hours. I can handle things here. Plus I’m sure you miss Gavin and he misses you.” He said softly. I groaned.

“I don’t like you and Gavin planning things behind my back.” He smiled.

“It’s for your own good. Just go out for one night and come back tomorrow, even if you two decide to just hang out at Gavin’s home. You need to take a break.”

“Just one night,” I whispered looking at my phone.

Pick me up in 30 minutes?

got it pipsqueak. nines is coming over too, something about not wanting to stay at the precinct all night again. is that ok?

Of course!

Some part of me did agree with Connor and Gavin. I was antsy in the house, but I was still worried about not being there when I’m needed. What if something else happened to dad while I was gone? What if Connor needed help and I wasn’t able to get back in time?

“You’re biting your thumb, (Y/n).” Connor’s voice broke through my thoughts and I moved my hand away from my mouth. Connor had begun calling me out whenever I was becoming overly anxious, which was both sweet and annoying.

“Sorry, nerves.” I gave him a wobbly smile.

“He will be fine. I know you’re worried, but I promise I will contact you the moment I fear something may be wrong. He’s been doing really well, it won’t be long until he’s cleared to return to work for desk duty.” Connor put his hand on my shoulder and I nodded.

“I know you’re right. It’s just hard sometimes to turn off that part of my brain.” I gave a nervous chuckle and he nodded his head.

“You should pack a bag, I’m assuming Gavin will be here soon?” I laughed.

“Wow, you sure are in a rush to get rid of me!” Connor rolled his eyes and shook his head. I stood up and stretched.

“Self-care is important, (Y/n).” I waved him off as I headed towards Connor’s room. Grabbing my backpack I filled it with some clothes, a laptop, and my phone charger. I sat down on the bed and fiddled with my bag. The room was just as bare as last time. Once dad was better I wanted to take Connor shopping so he could make the room more his. It would be interesting to see what he would pick out.

Snapping out of my thoughts I put on my backpack and walked back to where Connor was watching tv. I knelt down and started petting Sumo. He was lazing on top of Connor’s feet. I looked up at Connor, he was still entranced by the tv.

“Hey, Con?” I heard him hum. “Once things calm down do you want to go shopping for some decorations for your room? To make it more...you.” He glanced down at me with a small smile.

“I think that could be fun.” I smiled back at him. Things between us felt so natural as a brother and sister duo. Sometimes it felt like we grew up together, I guess for Connor’s case that wasn’t too far apart since he’s only been around for about a year.

“What kind of things do you like? Like what would you want in your room?” His brows furrowed for a moment, but it quickly turned into a smile.

“I would like a lava lamp.” I laughed abruptly, causing Sumo to jump a bit.

“A lava lamp? Connor why?” I said in between laughs, where had he even seen a lava lamp? His face flushed a light blue.

“They look cool. One of the characters in this show has one.” He responded sheepishly. I shook my head and let out another laugh.

“You are the biggest dork I’ve ever met.”

“You’re the one showing her students old movies because she thinks they’re underappreciated.” He teased back.

“Wow, look at you! You’re learning how not to be so uptight all the time.” He frowned.

“I’m better than Nines!” Connor crossed his arms across his chest and huffed in defiance.

“Well, you have had more time as a deviant than him. I’m sure he’ll pass you at some point.” Before Connor could respond my phone went off. “Ah, Gavin’s here. Are you sure you’ll be okay for the night? It’s not too late for me to cancel.” Connor’s expressions soften.

“Everything will be fine. I promise” I nodded and got up.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, text me updates?” I nervously fidgeted with the front door handle.

“Of course, (Y/n).” He gave me a reassuring smile. I took a deep breath and walked to Gavin’s car. Nines was already moving to the backseat, I briefly wondered if he had decided to do that on his own or if Gavin had asked him. Gavin smiled and waved at me. It really had been a while since we’ve relaxed together. I smiled back and got into the car.

“Hey, pipsqueak.” Gavin greeted me, leaning over to give me a kiss on the check.

“Hi Gavin, hi Nines.”

“Hello (Y/n). Thank you for letting me spend some time with you two. I appreciate the break from the precinct.” I nodded, as Gavin started driving.

“Do you always stay at the precinct?” I asked, turning around to look at him. He was sitting up straight with his hands in his lap. As always he looked overly formal.

“Yes, there has been an android apartment complex go up and I have been thinking about getting an apartment there, but as of right now I am perfectly content at the precinct.”

“Except tonight.” I teased, for a brief second his LED flashed yellow and then back to a calm blue.

“If I’m honest I also wanted to check up on you and make sure you’ve been taking care of yourself.” I groaned and closed my eyes.

“Great now I have two overbearing androids worrying about me.” Gavin let out a small chuckle.

“Would you really want it any other way?” Gavin asked. I could hear the smirk in his voice.

“No, I wouldn’t,” I responded softly.

[cal-puddies]

y/n 'secretly' dating Cal but then in some random interview Mike says 'im sure i have seen y/n and Cal holding hands behind the table while we ate, think they're dating or something' and then the boys keep saying stuff like 'oh, yesterday they barely kiss infront of me'

- I’ve gotta go do this interview, talk to ya in a bit. Cal wrote.

Being away from him was tough. You guys had been together awhile, but no one really knew about it and you both liked it that way. Ash had questioned it once because you were around a lot more and Cal had pretty much stopped third wheeling it with him and Kay Kay, but you both shrugged it off and he dropped it.

He thought you guys were in the clear, no questions asked.

But the interview went incredibly awry when they started asking about significant others. Cal kept quiet, as he always did, and then he got called out.

“Cal, are you seeing anyone special?”

He kinda shrugs and doesn’t offer anything up.

Mikey pipes up, “yeah, I’m sure you guys have seen them, they are together all the time. I’m pretty sure they were holding hands when they had dinner with Crys and I a few weeks ago. He’s always texting her and calling her. Pretty sure they’re together.”

Calum makes a signature what face, and the rest of the guys decide to out you too.

“Yeah, he always brings her when I invite him to dinner with Kay Kay and I.” Ash says.

“I think I’ve seen them kiss.” Luke murmurs.

“I dunno what you guys are talking about.” Cal tries to cover.

“I think she’s really nice and I just wanna make sure you’re giving her what she deserves.” Ash insists.

Cal shrugs. Staying non committal to anything that’s been said.

When they get done with the interview and get in the car, Cal shuts down, he’s pissed.

-miss you darlin, wish I was coming home to you tonight.

-everything ok baby?

“Hey Cal?” Luke asks quietly to the man sitting next to him.

“Fuck off Luke.” He groans, clicking his phone locked, letting it go dark.

“I’m sorry mate.” He whispers.

“It was shitty of all of you to do that. I don’t care who you think you were helping, it sure as shit was not me.” He sneers.

“Thought you just needed a little coaxing, she obviously makes you happy. Why wouldn’t you want to share that.” Michael shrugs.

“Because she likes the anoniminity, and I like letting her have it, because she’s so honest about fucking everything with me, and if I love her and I’m in love with her then we’re the only two people that need to know that.” He sighs. “This is why i dont tell you guys shit about us. You’ll do shit like this. This was totally fuckin uncool. So just let me be so I can figure out how to break it to her that my idiot friends outed us.” He rests his head back against the window.

They stay quiet for the ride back to the hotel and on the elevator, Luke gently nudges him, “it’s not gonna air for a couple days. Maybe take control of it.” He shrugs.

Cal prepares himself. He’s knows youll do everything in your power to make sure he doesn’t see how this effects you. But he needs to call you and discuss this, ask how you wanna handle it.

You pick up the phone, confused because you didn’t think you’d actually talk to him till later.

“Hey bubba.” You answer.

“How’s my love?” He asks.

“Duke’s good. Just gave him some carrots.” You respond.

“I meant you Darlin.” He smirks. “Can we FaceTime?” He asks, “wanna see you.”

So you turn on FaceTime and you can immediately tell something is wrong.

“What’s up Cal?” You ask, looking at him.

“We just had a real shit interview and I need to talk to you about it.”

“What happened?”

“The boys outed us. It doesn’t air for a couple days but they are definitely going to use it, heard it here first type bullshit.” He watches your face fall.

“Oh.” You nod and process. “I see.”

“I tried to play it off, like it was nothing... but they all had something to share.” He explains.

“It’s ok.” You shrug. “I mean I like what we have Cal.” You’re quiet awhile. Cal lets you stew, he doesn’t know exactly what’s going on in your brain and it’s giving him extra anxiety. “What if... have you considered us just outing ourselves? So it’s not news worthy, when it drops?”

“You’d be ok with that?” He asks, looking a little shocked.

“It’s not... ideal.” You shrug. “But I also would rather my life being taken off guard by my own actions.”

“I... can post to insta and Twitter... that pic of me, you and Duke.. cuddling together. From that weekend we spent in San Francisco.” He offers.

“I like that one.” You nod. “Wish we could be together for this.”

“I can fly you out babe. I’d actually really love that.” He admits. “Kinda wanna hold you.”

“Ok.” You agree. Which actually floors Cal, because you never agree to let him do things like this. You watch his face light up as he reaches for his lap top to book you a ticket.

“See you in a few hours babe.” He says before hanging up.

The picture goes up after you’ve boarded the plane, letting Cal out your relationship on your terms.

[emybain]

Seventeen

    oh my gosh,,,i did not mean for this to take me a week to write OR for it to be nearly 7000 words but here we are. I had trouble writing this in all honesty and really wanted to write this fic well. A huge thank you to @danna-bell-is-black for being a (my first!) beta reader and helping this gorl figure things out. if you dont already follow her, youre insane because she blesses our eyes with quality art and renegades content.

SPOILERS FOR SUPERNOVA

SPOILERS FOR SUPERNOVA

SPOILERS FOR SUPERNOVA

    Nova regretted ever leaving her apartment that morning. 

    Her seventeenth birthday started out with Ruby, Danna, and Narcissa banging on her apartment door mid morning, insisting that they have a girl’s day to celebrate. Nova had protested, the thought of having to spend an entire day with a group of girls frankly terrifying. She claimed her protests were only because she already had plans to go over to her boyfriend’s house and binge a stupid sitcom with seven seasons and just be a potato all day. There may or may not have been one or two make out sessions planned in this binge-watching. This was all true information, but her excuse, and her spirits, were immediately shot down when Ruby said that Adrian was sick. Skeptical, Nova had messaged Adrian and asked herself, to which she received a reply within a few minutes that he was indeed sick and to have fun with the girls.

    Something wasn’t right. 

    But somewhere deep in her mind, she knew that spending her birthday alone was the last thing she needed, and if she was going to fake having fun with the girls, then she was going to do it with a smile until she felt truly elated dammit. 

    For whatever reason, Nova had gotten herself into a funk the past month or so. Her happiness, true and free of doubt, that came after Ace Anarchy was defeated not seven months ago was short lived. She found herself missing the Anarchists. Leroy and Winston and even Honey and Ingrid who had turned against her in the end. She supposed it was natural; they had raised her for nearly ten years, and even if their methods weren’t always the best, it was evident they had cared for her in that decade they had together. 

    And then she began thinking of her uncle, how things could have been different if Nova had taken another approach than the one she chose. But she berated herself for even thinking that way. Ace had chosen his path and had no intentions of changing it. 

    She felt like she betrayed her family for idolizing Ace all those years, looking up to the man who had murdered his brother and his family in cold blood. Nova’s stomach turned at the thought that she would’ve been murdered as well, had it not been for her gift. It wasn’t the dying part that made her sick, it was the fact that Ace valued her only as an asset and nothing more. Just another piece on his chessboard. 

    Nova always found herself missing her family immensely around her birthday, reasons unknown to her. It wasn’t like her birthdays before they were murdered were anything special; she usually received gummy snacks or a screwdriver from Ace, as her parents couldn’t afford anything and it was too dangerous outside. Her most memorable gift was a bear her father had salvaged for her when he had gone out in search of medicine because Nova had been sick on her third birthday. She remembered it being already torn up and dirty, but her mother had washed it and sewed it up so it looked brand new again; it had been Nova’s only companion before she had a little sister. 

    This birthday, however, was ten years without her parents and sister. Her seventh birthday was around the corner when the hitman killed her family, forcing Nova to run away with the Anarchists. She remembered not even celebrating that birthday, too distraught and angry to even accept the processed package of crackers Ace had gotten for her. Now, at seventeen, Nova Artino wanted nothing more than to hug her parents and Evie, who would have been around Max’s age now. She wanted them to know she was sorry for letting them down, for believing in Ace’s lies for so many years and believing in him. She wanted her father to ruffle her hair and tell her everything was going to be alright; she wanted her mother to kiss her forehead and tell her how much she’s grown, like she used to when Nova would be measured against a doorframe; she wanted to be the annoying big sister to Evie, teasing her playfully and embarrassing her at every possible chance. But no, Nova Artino was alone and without a family on her seventeenth. 

    Was making out with her boyfriend in his room as they ignored a cheesy sitcom playing in the background to make Nova forget about her worries too much to ask? 

    Apparently, so Nova had held back a sigh and bit her tongue, agreeing to go out with the three girls for the day. Ruby forced her into one of the few nice outfits Nova had in her closet, ignoring Nova’s questioning and tossing the leggings and t-shirt Nova had initially grabbed. It was nothing special, just a pair of high waisted black and white striped flowy pants with a cloth belt and an understated plain white shirt that Nova tied into a knot just above her belly button. She had purchased the outfit two months prior for a media interview with Adrian and his team and hadn’t worn it since. 

The public, much to Nova’s disdain, idolized her, Adrian, his team, and Max after the defeat of Ace Anarchy, claiming that without them, Ace would still be around. But they were wrong; without Max, Ace would still be around. Even so, being idolized was like a punch to the gut for Nova; it went against everything she had stood by for ten years. But, she had to admit, it brought her the smallest bit of joy seeing young girls be more interested in science and mathematics and self defense and standing up for themselves because that’s what Nova Artino liked. At least her small impact was positive. 

“Sweetheart, which side did you say you wanted the piercing on?” Nova blinked, coming out of her daze to stare at the dark skinned woman in front of her who held an alcohol wipe in one hand and a cotton swab in the other. Right. The reason why she wished she was curled up in Adrian’s arms right now, preferably kissing him. 

Nova licked her lips, eyes pinning on the marker. In the corner of the room sat Ruby, Danna, and Narcissa. Ruby was hurriedly messaging someone and glancing up at Nova every so often to offer an encouraging smile. Danna and Narcissa were chatting quietly between themselves, playing with one another’s hands affectionately. 

“Um...the right side.” Nova placed a finger on the curve of her nose where she wanted the piercing. She couldn’t believe she let the others convince her into doing this. Danna had said it didn’t hurt after she pierced hers a few months before, Ruby had said none of her piercings, all on her ears, were that painful. But Nova knew what ear piercings were like; Honey had taken her to get hers pierced at the ripe age of twelve. 

The lady nodded, leaning forward to wipe that side of her nose then putting the cotton swab in Nova’s nostril. Nova drew back slightly at how cold it was; it must’ve been dipped in alcohol as well. Then she grabbed a marker and carefully placed a dot on Nova’s nose, right where Nova had indicated where she wanted it. 

“How’s that?” A mirror was placed in front of Nova, and she examined the marker dot, nodding and only half paying attention. The lady put the mirror back down on her table and picked up the needle, instructing Nova to lie down on the patient’s table. 

Nova had always found body piercings to be cool and badass, but had never had the guts to go and get any done other than the one time Honey took her five years ago. Her decisions had always rested on other’s opinions, almost never on her own. Now that she was doing something that she had wanted to do, she was nervous, and all because she had mentioned it once in a conversation with Ruby months before, who had remembered it and was the one responsible for their little group being in that tattoo and piercing parlor in the first place. Before going to the back of the shop to the patient rooms, they had inquired about tattoos, another thing Nova was interested in, but they were told they needed parental or guardian consent for those under the age of eighteen. As none of them could pass for Nova’s guardian, Nova shrugged it off, saying she would just get it done next year. 

“Alright, honey, now breathe in and out on a count of three, okay?” Nova barely had time to process what the lady had said before she felt the needle piercing the cartilage of her nose. Her eyes watered instantly, almost involuntarily. A disgruntled noise came from the back of her throat, and she closed her eyes, biting back a grimace. Then the needle was pulled out the other side, and the lady said she was done as she took another cotton swab and cleaned the area around the piercing.

Nova was handed a tissue as she sat up, and she dabbed at her eyes. Ruby clapped her hands in excitement. 

“It looks great, Nova!” she said, already holding out her communication band to snap a quick photo to send to people. Nova made a face at the front facing camera, scrunching her face up. 

“Totally badass and not adorable on a five-foot-nothing child,” Danna teased, tearing her eyes away from Narcissa who nodded in agreement. 

“Five-foot-three,” Nova replied, scoffing. She hopped off the table and over to the full body mirror, leaning close to inspect the new addition. 

“Maybe in heels.” Danna grinned. “No, but really, it looks good. It suits you well.” 

Nova massaged her nose, which was starting to swell up. She sniffled, the piercing making it feel like she had a stuffy airway. “You think so?” 

“Well, do you like it?” Ruby came up beside Nova and crossed her arms, looking at the piercing and beaming. 

Nova thought about it for a moment, examining the rosey-gold jewelry now gleaming on her face. She had chosen the stud to match the bracelet on her wrist. Slowly, she started to nod, her lips stretching up. 

“Yeah. I do.” She paused before running a hand through her hair, which was getting longer and in need of a cut, although now Nova was liking the way it looked with the piercing. So many changes in such a small amount of time. Maybe it was a good thing. “I really do, actually.” 

“Then that’s all that matters.” Ruby clapped her hands together. “So, lunch? Oscar recommended this great cheeseburger place that just opened up.”

Nova had learned to trust Oscar’s judgement on food, even if she wasn’t that fond of cheeseburgers. When he said the place was great, he was serious. There weren’t many restaurants in Gatlon, at least affordable ones, that had been given such an honor from Oscar. So, Nova nodded her head, and their group set off for lunch. 

__________

Something was definitely up. 

They had gone to lunch at the place Ruby recommended, and all was well until Nova noticed that every time one of her friend’s communicators chimed with a message, it was closely followed by the other two. They tried to check the messages at different times and respond out of sync, as if they were keeping something from Nova. A few times, Nova had attempted to peer over Ruby’s shoulder at her communication band, curiosity overcoming her, but Ruby always closed the conversation quickly after Nova snooped. 

Then, afterward, when Nova had suggested running to Adrian’s house for a bit to check up on him and possibly bring him soup or ice cream, all three of her companions got wide eyed and instantly started voicing their objections. 

“You don’t want to get sick!” Ruby had said. 

“He’s probably passed out,” Danna had added nonchalantly.

“Ugh, yeah. He’s probably disgusting.” Narcissa had wriggled her nose at the thought, but Nova could see right through the lie. The bookworm was a terrible liar; it was evident through the way she never made eye contact and stammered over her own words. “Definitely too sick to see you...or anyone else for that matter! He’s probably thrown up like...five times already.” Then she got quiet when Danna shot her a not so subtle glare, to which Narcissa replied with a quiet and confused, “What?”

So Nova had suggested going back to her place, a little apartment that Hugh and Simon had bought for her under their name not long after the Supernova, after they found out she was rotating homes to stay at for short periods of time until she eventually ended up at the Everhart-Westwood residence. She knew a majority of their reasoning for buying it was that they never forgave themselves for failing to save Nova’s family, even though she had long since forgiven them and come to terms with her misjudgments and wrongdoings. She also knew a teeny, tiny part of the reasoning had to do with the fact that they were completely supportive of her relationship with Adrian, it being a little too evident in the fact that the bedroom was big enough for a queen or king sized bed and that the bathroom had two sinks instead of one. Message received. It wasn’t much, just a kitchenette, sitting area, and closed off bedroom and bathroom, but it had become a decent home for Nova, a fresh start. Plus, it didn’t hurt that the apartment complex, one built after the Age of Anarchy, was just a few blocks away from Adrian’s house. Another thing that couldn’t be accidental on Hugh and Simon’s part. 

Again, her group shot down her suggestion and began making excuses. Then Danna mentioned going into a few shops and boutiques nearby, and Nova almost had to laugh. They knew that shopping was one of Nova’s least favorite things to do, something they had all learned the hard way when they had tried taking her before. She just didn’t understand how some people got joy from running their hands over racks of ridiculous clothing, exclaiming how much they loved a top or a skirt yet putting it back with a defeated sigh after checking the price tag. At least that’s what little experience she had from shopping with Ruby. Nova supposed she shouldn’t judge; not everyone got their joy from working out or boxing, a hobby she had recently taken up, or inventing things, like she did. 

Finally, when the day was running out, the sun beginning to drift downward, Ruby gasped and nudged Danna roughly. Nova, who had been busying herself going through a rack of jeans at a thrifty second-hand store they found themselves in, paused in her disinterested scavenging to turn her head just slightly, in hopes of catching what was so important. 

She heard something about everything’s ready and we can go back now before Danna was by her side, linking elbows with her and dragging her away. 

“Okay,” she said, a little too chirpy for Danna. Nova blinked. “So, Max just messaged Ruby and said that Adrian really wants to see you.” 

Narcissa appeared beside her girlfriend, biting back a smile. “Yeah! Something about being sorry for missing your birthday and all.”

“What about getting me sick?” Nova pulled away from Danna, who had been leading her to the door. She crossed her arms, stopping in her tracks. 

“He’s feeling much better.” Ruby waved a hand. “Now, let’s go, before traffic gets too heavy.” Danna emphasized the urgency by waving the set of car keys in her hand up by her face. 

“What are you three hiding?” Nova finally said, feet planted. “You’ve been acting weird all day.”

Danna looked genuinely surprised, and Nova almost believed it, if she hadn’t already known that Danna was a pretty damn good actress when she wanted to be. “What are you talking about?”

Nova opened her mouth to protest, then closed it. Fine. She’d been playing their game the entire day, what was one more round? Clearly, they weren’t going to Adrian’s, as he was probably in his deathbed, but they were going somewhere important. Might as well get it over with so Nova could go home. 

“Alright then.” Nova shrugged, forcing herself forward and through the doors of the shop. “Let’s go.” 

______

The ride to the secret destination seemed like it was forever, but that was only because it was silent the entire way. Nova kept her attention on Danna, who kept looking in the rearview mirror at Ruby, a concerned and questioning look on her face. Nova didn’t even realize where they were until they pulled up to the curb right outside her boyfriend’s house. Her eyebrows immediately shot up. What was going on?

They went up to the front door, Ruby knocking on the door thrice. They waited a few minutes, the door remaining closed. She looked back and shrugged before reaching a hand out and turning the knob. The door opened, and their group filed in. Nova blinked a few times, eyes adjusting to the sudden darkness of the house. Dark...and also quiet. 

Nova raised her voice a little, sharing a look with the others. “Adrian? Are you here? It’s me.”

No answer. 

“Maybe the kitchen?” Ruby scrunched her eyebrows together, already pushing past to head to that room. Danna and Narcissa followed, leaving Nova alone in the foyer. Was she the only one who thought something wasn’t right? 

Her hand immediately went to her waist, where she kept a few of her inventions on hand in her pockets if she ever needed them. She also called on her power, feeling it rise up to just underneath her fingertips, waiting. Following the others, somewhat hesitant, Nova braced herself for the worst. 

When she entered the kitchen, it was as dark as the other rooms, if not darker. The others were gone, sending her body into full alert. 

Then the lights were flicked on, blinding her. Nova stepped back, just as people jumped out from just about everywhere in the kitchen, all yelling out the same thing: “Surprise!” 

Nova screeched, letting out a string of curse words and narrowly avoiding knocking out Oscar, who so happened to be the closest to Nova. 

She heard a camera snapping a photo, and she scowled. Her eyes went around the room, scanning each face there. Oscar, Danna, Ruby, Narcissa, Max, Simon, Hugh, a few prodigies that Nova had befriended in the past few months, Leroy, and in the middle of it all, with the stupidest smile on his face that Nova wanted to smack off, was her idiot boyfriend, Adrian Everhart. Who, judging from the color in his face and twinkle in his eyes, was not sick. 

“What. The. Hell.” Nova narrowed her eyes at all of them, specifically Adrian. 

“It’s your birthday!” Oscar cried, wrapping an arm around Nova’s shoulder. She scoffed and tried to push it away. “This is your birthday party!” 

    “I’m seventeen, not seven.” She bit back a frustrated huff, examining the large room. There were balloons scattered here and there, some with messages on them. There was a banner hanging against the wall that read, in all capital letters, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Her eyes landed on the center island, which held an assortment of snacks and treats.

    “Oh, loosen up, Nova.” Hugh rolled his eyes, smiling that charming boyish grin of his. “Birthdays are a tradition around here.” He spread his arms wide. “Now you’re part of that tradition. Whether or not you want to be,” he added teasingly. 

    Nova almost said something snarky in response, but refrained. Her heart softened a little as she recognized they had spent all day preparing this for her when they could have been doing other things, and had probably spent longer planning. Now that she thought of it, Adrian and the others had seemed distant lately. 

    “Okay,” she tested out slowly. “But why a surprise party? You know I hate surprises.” She looked specifically at Adrian when she said this, whose smile ceased to falter. Damn him for just looking amused. 

    “Because you haven’t had a real birthday before, dummy.” Nova was taken aback, slightly offended but more surprised at Ruby’s name calling. “At least, that’s what you’ve told us.” 

    Unexpectedly, her chest expanded, filling up with appreciation and gratefulness and...and love for the people in the room with her. The Anarchists had never gone to such lengths for her, only ever caring about their own wellbeing and personal agendas. Her parents, as much as they tried, could never have done something like this for Nova even if they had wanted to. A small weight pressed at the back of her eyes as she looked at Leroy, who was standing a bit away from the main group, almost awkward and like he was uninvited. 

“You too?” she demanded, voice suddenly hoarse. Leroy had shown up with the other Rejects about a month following the Supernova, full of new ideas and experiments and inventions and surprisingly eager to help repair their fragmented society. While most people were still wary of him, even some of the Council, he was pardoned on behalf of Nova, who had argued an extensive amount for his freedom and rights, just as she did with Narcissa and the rest of the Rejects. She wasn’t alone, either. Adrian, Oscar, Ruby, and shockingly, Danna, had sided with her in defense of the Rejects. 

The side of Leroy’s face that wasn’t paralyzed curled up into a guilty smile. “How else would they have known what flavor cake to get?”

“Lemon coconut?” Her eyes fixed on the beautifully decorated dessert. “But how did you-”

“I’ve known you since you were a little ankle biter, Nova.” His gaze softened. “Even before that; I remember when Ace told us his brother’s wife had a baby, and they named her Nova, in hopes of her being a great brightness in dark times.” Her eyes pricked at the mention of her parents, two out of the three people who weren’t in this room with her. 

“I guess one slice won’t hurt.”

_______

     Nova snuggled closer to Adrian, shifting the blanket wrapped around their shoulders so that it covered more of her body. Nights during the spring were usually chilly, but tonight was nice enough to sit outside around the fire pit in Adrian’s backyard. Hugh had suggested it, once it started getting late and only a few people, Leroy included, had left in favor of sleep. He said they needed to use the backyard more, to which Adrian sent Nova a secretive eyeroll. 

    Adrian pulled her closer, as close as they could get on the lounge chair they were sharing; she was practically in his lap. His arms wrapped tighter around her waist, his hand accepting hers when she grabbed for it and twining their fingers together. Every now and then, he would push her hair back to press a soft kiss to the spot behind her ear, or trace small circles on the small of her back, or another small gesture of affection that would relax Nova’s muscles. 

    Max was in the middle of an anecdote from a few months before, some kind of incident he got himself into at headquarters that no one had heard about until now. Everyone was grinning; Nova was sure Hugh was about to burst into tears from laughing so much. Nova tried to pay attention, but something kept nagging at the back of her mind. 

    Despite the party, despite her friends showering her in gifts and food and laughter and fun for the past few hours, there was still something missing. Even as she was surrounded now by them, the fire before her warming her face and the boy behind her putting off a wall of heat, she was cold. Once tonight was over, they would all go home, back to their families. Nova, on the other hand, would go back to her apartment, alone. There would be no one there to greet her, no one to ask how the party was. No one to listen intently as Nova told them all about her day. 

    Nova turned her head around, planting a kiss on Adrian’s cheek, if only to distract herself and ignore the pressure building behind her eyes. His lips parted into that smile that made her knees weak. 

“Have I told you Happy Birthday, yet?’’ he murmured, as to not interrupt Max’s story. He played with her fingers absentmindedly. Nova rolled her eyes, unable to help the smile that appeared on her face as well. 

“Only about ten times already,” she teased, resting her forehead against his. “But it wouldn’t hurt hearing it again.”

He captured her lips with his, just barely kissing them before pulling back. “Happy Birthday, Nova.”

“Thank you.” Her smile widened. “And thank you for this party. I know it’s your doing.”

“I may have helped a little.” His eyes sparkled. “I like the nose ring, by the way. It fits you.”

Nova’s hand wandered up to her face, touching the piercing lightly. The skin around it was still tender to the touch. “You think so? I was going for the hot girlfriend look.” It was a joke; Nova had been wanting one for many years, but she figured it might make Adrian blush. He usually did when she said things like that. 

If anything, Adrian’s expression became mischievous. Nova silently cursed herself; she was going to have to think of new ways to embarrass him. He was starting to get used to her current ways. “You’ve already excelled at that.” It was uttered so smoothly that Nova felt her cheeks heat up. Not the reaction she had expected. “An A-plus times ten in the hot girlfriend category.” Damn him. 

“I hate you.” Her shoulders shook in a light laugh as she tilted her chin up. 

“No you don’t,” he replied as their lips met, and he was right. Truthfully, she loved him. It had been hard for her to come to terms with the feeling of being in love with someone. How could she be so vulnerable with a single person? So open and honest and raw? To know she would go to any lengths for his happiness, and vice versa. That they had one another’s backs and would protect each other. To know that at the end of the day, no matter what had passed between them, they were each other’s home. He was her best friend; Nova knew this without a doubt, despite never having a best friend before. But he was also something else...something more real and lifelong and terrifying than friendship. 

. Nova thought back to her parents and Evie again, how they weren’t here to see her. Her father would never get to meet Adrian, never get to jokingly threaten him and just as quickly turn around and treat Adrian like his own. Her mother would never get to dote over Adrian and overfeed him at meals. Evie would never tease them and declare her disgust for the male population whenever she would walk in on them kissing. An entire life, just robbed from Nova in the span of minutes. 

A throat clearing loudly pulled Nova and Adrian apart, Nova not realizing how she had started kissing him more desperately, despite there being an audience, in an attempt to block out the pain stinging her eyes. 

It was Simon, who stared pointedly at Nova curled up on his son’s lap as he said, “Well, it’s getting a little late. I’m going to clean up the kitchen a little if anyone would like to help.” Max had apparently ended his story, and Simon’s stare wasn’t the only one fixed on the two teens. Embarrassment flooded her body, and she felt the sudden need to get up. 

“I’ll help.” She hopped up from her warm spot, goosebumps immediately running up her back from the chilly air. Simon shook his head, saying that as the birthday girl, she didn’t have to do anything. “No, I want to,” she insisted. “I like cleaning.”

So together, she and Simon made their way back inside the Everhart-Westwood house. She got started on throwing plastic cups and paper plates into a trash bag while Simon busied himself with putting the cake and snacks and pizza that Oscar had ordered away. They were quiet, left to their own thoughts. Evie would have loved this party, Nova was sure of it. She had always been a bubbly baby, despite falling ill often and crying. Nova had always wondered just what kind of person her sister would have turned out to be had it not been for that one night. She wondered how different she herself would have turned out. But there was no way of knowing; there never would be. 

There was something else still bothering her, something that had been plaguing Nova for the past 6 months since she had fought against her uncle. 

“Hey, Simon?” He paused from wrapping a plate of cookies, looking up at her with raised eyebrows. Nova took in a deep breath, knowing she should just keep her mouth shut and tell him nevermind, but she just couldn’t. “Do you...do you think they would be proud of me? My parents, if they were here?”

Simon looked taken aback. He set the plastic wrap down and crossed his arms, considering her words for a minute. “Of course they would be, Nova. Why wouldn’t they be?”

Nova shrugged, the movement tiny. “It’s just...I-I...I betrayed them.” Her voice cracked at the word betrayed, and her eyes unexpectedly welled up with tears. “I was stupid enough to believe in my uncle’s lies for nearly ten years and idolized him. I was so filled with hate that I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“Honey,” Simon began, moving forward to place a hand on Nova’s shoulder. “You had no idea. Your uncle kept what he did from you on purpose. You finding out would’ve meant losing you.” He paused. “I’m sure your parents don’t blame you. He manipulated you in the cruelest way possible.”

Nova dropped her eyes. “Then why do I feel so alone?” 

“What do you mean?” Simon ducked his head, trying to regain her eye contact. 

Nova looked back up as a single tear escaped, rolling down her cheek slowly. She wiped it away immediately, already loathing herself for breaking so easily. “You know how they say you can tell someone is still around even after they die?” When Simon nodded, she pressed on. “I...I can’t tell if they’re here or not. Before I found out the truth, I had thought they were there, encouraging me to fight for what Ace believed in. Now, I know it was only in my head; they were never there.” She licked her lips. “Wouldn’t I know if they were proud of me if they were here?”

Simon didn’t answer, not right away, at least. Nova searched his face, full of conflict as he tried to find something to tell her. 

“What if they really are here, Nova, and you’re ignoring their presence because of your own guilt?” he said slowly. “Because I know for a fact that they would be proud of you.”

“How?” she croaked. 

“I’ve been a parent for almost eighteen years.” When he said it, Nova could tell how the impact of those words made him feel old. “Adrian is not perfect, and neither is Max. They’ve both made stupid mistakes. Hell, take the story Max just told us outside. He was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing that day, and while I’m slightly annoyed at what he did, and that he didn’t tell us, he’s still my son and I will always be proud of him.” When Nova opened her mouth, he continued on. “Think about Adrian, then. Hugh and I were pissed when we learned he was the Sentinel. That was his biggest mistake yet, and you know what we did?” He didn’t wait for Nova to answer. “We punished him, yes, but we are still proud of everything he has done. The good always outweighs the bad, Nova. A good parent always forgives their children, no matter how big the mistake, because it’s just nature. It’s unconditional love, and your parents died wanting you to be okay in the end. That’s all any parent could ever wish for their children.”

He wiped at the few tears that had started streaming down her face, then pulled her into a hug. Nova tensed up at first, but soon found herself crumpling against him, burying her face in his shoulder. And that’s how Hugh found them.

“What’s going on in here?” he asked, drawing Nova’s attention up. She sniffled and palmed at her cheeks, embarrassed at breaking down in front of the Dread Warden and Captain Chromium. 

“Nothing,” Nova said. 

“Nova doesn’t believe her parents are still here with her and that they’re proud of her.” Simon shot Hugh a look. 

“What do you mean?” Hugh frowned. “Of course they’re here, Nova. They’ll always be with you.”

Nova sighed. “It’s just...I’ve felt so alone since I learned the truth about who really killed my family, and…and I’ve been doubting that they’re even proud of me.” She bit the inside of her cheek. “Everyone I know has a family and parents that are proud of them but me, and I know that sounds childish, but it’s true and I hate it.”

Hugh shook his head slowly and pulled up a barstool beside Simon. “I only knew David Artino for a short time, but he was a brave, compassionate, and fierce man, and he cared about his family more than anything else in the world.” He looked Nova in the eye. “To not be proud of the young lady you have become would go against everything he believed in, Nova.” 

Nova knew he was right, but she didn’t want to admit it.

“As for not having a family anymore,” Hugh continued, “I don’t think that’s true either. There are people here tonight who care for you and love you, Nova.” He smiled softly at Simon, almost knowingly. “Our son loves you deeply, more than anyone else here. It’s important for you to remember that family doesn’t always have to be biological. You get to decide who your family is. Now, that could be just you and Adrian, or you and your friends, or even you and a pet. You get to define your family, okay?” He paused for a moment. “And if you ever choose to let the two of us be in that family, as well, we would be honored.”

Nova’s lower lip trembled slightly. She bit down on it. Again, he was right. Now that she thought of it, Adrian was her family. That was what was so terrifying and real and lifelong compared to friendship, and she wanted to welcome it. Oscar and Ruby and Max and even Danna and Narcissa were slowly becoming part of her family as well. Now that they were beginning to trust her again and willing to open up to her, and she to them, Nova realized that she would do anything for them. And as for Hugh and Simon, two people who she held a strong hatred for not one year ago, Nova could see them in her oddball family as well. Maybe not now, but in the near future. 

“Okay,” she whispered, feeling a fresh wave of tears in her eyes but too tired to let them fall. She wiped them away quickly. 

“Okay.” Simon smiled at her, a genuine smile, and stood. Hugh did as well. “Shall we head back outside, then? I don’t know if I trust Oscar to be alone at our house for more than five minutes.”

“Me neither.” Hugh chuckled. “Oh, before I forget, are you spending the night, Nova?”

For whatever reason, Adrian’s dads had no problems with Nova occasionally sleeping over. But, she supposed it was because they had no clue that once they went to bed, she would sneak out of the guestroom they would give her and go downstairs to be with Adrian. 

“Um, yeah, I guess.” She laughed awkwardly, and they headed outside. 

Simon was justified in his accusation, for when they went back outside, Oscar had a bag of marshmallows in his hand. Ruby sat next to him, and the two looked like they were up to no good. Danna had her face in her hands; Narcissa rubbed her back soothingly. 

“What are you doing?” Hugh asked, rather tiredly, as the three took their former seats. 

Adrian pulled the blanket back around Nova when she sat back down on top of him, stretching her legs out over his lap. “You okay?” he asked, examining her face with concern. 

Nova put a tight smile on, nodding. She would tell him later when they were alone. 

“Oscar thinks he can fit fifteen marshmallows in his mouth,” Ruby explained, looking at Oscar with complete adoration. 

“You’re a hazard to society,” Danna muttered between her hands, barely peeking up.

Oscar rolled his eyes, about to reply with something snarky when he made eye contact with Nova. He blinked. “You good? Your eyes are a little red.”

Nova swallowed, looking at this despicable group of people around her. They were a mess, truly. But she was now part of this mess, and happy about it. 

“Yeah, um, I’m fine.” She sniffled. “I actually haven’t been for a while now, but now I am. At least, I think I’ll be.” Her gaze drifted over each of their faces. “You guys know that I...I love you, right?” Even Danna raised her head up, blinking in pleasant surprise. “And…I just wanted to thank all of you for everything you’ve done for me, and for trusting me again despite what I did. I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.” A huge weight felt like it was being lifted off of her shoulders, and Nova had to let out a slow breath. 

Oscar was the first to speak. “Damn, Artino, getting soft on us after only six months?” He tsked and shook his head. “Might as well use that money you’re saving for a motorcycle on a minivan.”

Nova scowled at him. “And you’re a coward.” She nodded her head at the bag of marshmallows in his hand. “Do twenty.”

“Don’t encourage him,” Danna groaned as Oscar started shoving marshmallows in his mouth. Nova laughed, a true laugh. The arms around her waist tightened, and she twisted around to look at Adrian. He had a mixture of shock and something else in his eyes that made Nova’s insides turn upside down. 

“I love you,” she said without hesitation, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I’ll tell you everything later tonight, okay?” And she meant it. 

“I love you too,” he responded gruffly, hand going to the back of her head to pull her closer to him. “I love you so much, Nova Artino.” When they kissed, Nova felt the lightest she had in awhile. She highly doubted that she would ever forget this day, her seventeenth birthday. Compared to a year ago, her life had drastically changed, and for the better. 

At that moment, wrapped up in Adrian’s arms and surrounded by her found family, she was almost positive she felt the proud gaze of two people she missed more than anything in the world.

[ask-the-party-god]

Ask The Party God - Timeline

the pre-terezi-gang timeline post is here

height references over here

hi, im jade! everyones favorite party goddess and trans doggy girl~ but you already know that! if youre reading this, it means youre interested in learning more about my reality, because paradox space is fucking weird like that and you cant really be sure all the time

as far as im aware, everything up to the point where we beat the game happened without deviations from the alpha timeline? so this is what rose has talked about as a ‘terminal timeline’, or ‘post-canon’, or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean

we got to earth-c, and i settled in the troll kingdom because trolls are cool, dave and karkat were in the neighborhood, and the caverns are close by so i can visit rose and kanaya speedily as well! i still do have my old tower out on an island, with my workshop and garden, but i almost never sleep in it, too far away and isolated from everyone...

then one day i found this old active server in the furthest ring keeping tumblr active and i thought, hey, why not have some fun? ;D

as for the others...

my darling sis june egbert! she lives in the consort kingdom, but has been thinking about relocating elsewhere lately! she went through a rough patch right after the game, unsure of what to do and full of all sorts of doubts and questions, but shes doing a lot better nowadays! specially now that terezi is back, shes been a lot more peppy and hanging around with the lalondes particularly!

rose rose rose rose~ happily married to her wife kanaya, duh, but that doesnt make her any less of a flirty cutie! a while back she got really sick for a bit, and weve been keeping an eye on her just in case it happened again, but its been all good ever since! she helps kanaya at the caverns a bunch, which makes her schedule busy busy... and you didnt hear this from me, buuuut words out on the street that she and kanaya may be warming to the idea of having a kid! <3 well see how that goes!

one cool dude~ daves a little bit of a shut-in honestly! and honestly i dont blame him? he must be tired after all the timeline and time travel shenanigans, so he spends a good chunk of his time hanging out in his and karkats house! hes kind of awkward about opening up with feelings and stuff, and ive been trying to nudge him to be more open for a while! but with all the craziness thats been going down lately, and more people coming and going and getting together, hes starting to consider things he hadnt before~ hopefully, some specific someones? ;)

janey! my uh... ecto-mom, technically, although we see each other more like cousins than anything else! she still owns crockercorp, but ever since jasprose has been around, she has been spending a lot more time at home and just hanging out with her friends, which really, sounds a lot healthier than the big business thing she had going on a while back! she enjoys teaching me baking stuff, but doesnt have much patience for my decorating skills ;p

grandpa! and grandson technically, hehe, jakes kind of a weird case, hes a mixture of a shut-in, a celebrity and an adventurer! he can spend up to weeks at a time without leaving his manor, but then hell have full weeks of interviews and hiking, and thats not to say anything of when he and dirk put out another episode or two of their dumb comedy talkshow... hes often busy with stuff, but hes still a good pal and can clear his schedule in seconds if we need him for something!

one sweet nb dude! rox really is... something else, really! fun to tag along at a party, fun to chill at home playing games, fun to talk about more serious stuff and open up with him, he really is just solid as they come! hes been hanging out a lot more with june since she got out of her depressive slump, but sometimes i wonder if junebug finds weird to get flirty with roxy, considering im pretty sure we made out in front of her at some point or two... hehehe

dirk! if daves a bit of a shut-in, hes a shut-in times two, which is weird because youd think someone stuck in post-apocalyptic earth for so long would want to hang out more? not to say he DOESNT, though! hes around jake often enough, and keeps close to jane, roxy and dave specially! we dont see each other too often, but we HAVE been messing around with robots and planning out to upgrade our respective self-bots for funsies!

aradia! we only met briefly in dreams for the longest time, but i knew already that she was a riot! she came with terezis group after she finally found vriska, and seems pretty happy just... kind of... being around and watching shenanigans ensue! i actually dont know where she lives, but she drops by occasionally, because im apparently pretty ‘fun’... cant say i disagree ;)

sollux is blind, and not dead, and WILL kick you in the shins if you keep prying about how exactly he ended up like that, which is fair enough! he spends a good chunk of his time with aradia, and im not sure if theyre dating or not...? but hes been around the other trolls a bunch! specially kanaya, apparently theyre good friends that go way back! i guess they both DO style their hair similarly, with the side spike thingies...

the other half of the dave-kat duo! swooooon~ really though, i cant remember the last time i said “dave” or “karkat” without talking about the other shortly after... buuut theyre just roomies, and hell get awkward and grumpy if you even so slightly IMPLY otherwise, despite the fact everyone knows they fall asleep leaning against each other during friday movie night! roooolling my eyes~ with the rest of the living trolls having arrived, hes been a lot more willing to go outside, which im glad for! its healthy to get some fresh air from time to time, and specially hang out with friends!

oh-la-la, miss maryam-lalonde herself! kanayas the matriarch of the caverns, and quite the busy gal, having taken it upon herself to supervise her entire species reproduction and well-being... in my opinion, she needs a good vacation from time to time, and to be less of a workaholic! >:o ive been helping her occasionally in the caverns, and as of late weve begun trying to mess around with ectobiology for some troll-human crossing experiments with... not good results so far... but hey, rome wasnt built in a day!

terezis back, yes! after spending YEARS out there looking for vriska, she managed to find her and come back, the madwoman! personally im not sure why anyone would go to such lengths for... her... but also, its not my bond, not my place to speak, she obviously really loves her a bunch! with vriska no longer lost in the middle of the furthest ring, shes started to catch up with everything going on with earth-c, and i think shes really going to like being around! specially with how much june and the rest have missed her ;)

troublemaker extraordinaire herself! shes... well, shes vriska, im pretty sure she stole that eyepatch from sollux? so you just know she up to no good already >:/ speaking of her eyepatch, im not sure WHY shes wearing it? whatever kinda wound she got, she doesnt like mentioning it, despite bragging about defeating english at every chance she gets! terezi says they found her popping in and out of consciousness in the furthest ring with some messy wounds, and that shed probably been hovering out there after the fight for years... doesnt seem to have humbled her in the slightest <.<

callieeeee! theyre super sweet and wonderful but also really shy and awkward! they live with roxy but manage to outdo dirk in terms of shut-in-ness... they also totally like roxy but is unsure about approaching those feelings considering the whole species thing and whatever, ive been trying to get them to open up for a while now! weve written fanfic together and drawn grids, so i can definitely tell theres some attraction there, even if theyre afraid of acting upon it just yet <3

jaspie is roses bane, and the one cat that made me get used to their smell enough that i dont bark at them instantly anymore! im pretty sure she crashes at janes often, and is just as outgoing and flirty as i am around earth-c parties and bars, which is saying something honestly! i wont let her dethrone me as the party god, though >:)

and finally davepeta! theyre staying with june for the time being until they can get settled around and see what they want to do here! theyve also dropped by dave and karkats a bunch, which i most certainly dont mind! i definitely appreciate some help in bringing a romantic vibe into those twos lives~ ;o

and thats about it! theres also the nannasprites and tavrosprite and arquius, but they pop by so sporadically and rarely that i dont know what theyre doing a majority of the time... we lost track of gamzee after the session so hopefully hes totally gone, and we havent heard any message from caliborn in years... and with the furthest ring broken and the black hole sealed, leaving a weird white empty space right in the middle of reality, im not sure what our chances of bringing back the other trolls are :( but still, we keep living on happily over here and having our fun slice of life ending together!

id say after everything weve gone through, we deserve a big break, dont we? hehehe <3

also, particularly important events that happen and are recorded in this blog will be tagged as timeline shenanigans!

[10boys]

MLQC : Oral (receving)

♡ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

Gavin:

-Ugh ok so Gavin is 100% a giver

-He loves you more than life literally and theres nothing he wouldn’t do to show you.

-Naturally , hes a super bashful guy and gets a bit embarrassed when its time for he himself to be taken care of. He’s so used to being responsible for others that showing his vulnerability is something that took time, which you gladly gave him. You and Gavin have such a comfortable bond now he could do anything infront of you but ya know only things that make him look cool infront of you

-He came to your house superr late at night since after being on one of his week-long missons, still in uniform and smelling of “outside” to his airborn location

-after quick ilys and imys you offer him a shower to wined him down of his journeys

-The moment he stepped in and left you alone with your thoughts, they went wild

-His thick body fit into his uniform so well, his chest heaving from fatigue of his flight. His masculine smell filled your nose when you first embraced, the same one emanating from his steamy shower. Your thighs twiched as you imagined his body elongated and streached out to wash himself in the shower. His musclier arms reached above to rub the conditioner into his hair, the white bubbles dripping down his muscles coming together in the creases of his back. They’d dip into his V-line , as if showing your eyes where to go. Just as your were getting to the most delicious spot..

-“Babe..what are you looking at?”

-Actions speak louder than words......

-He layed beneath you on the bed as you kissed and sucked at his neck and ears. His fresh wet scent was tantalizing, his skin was soft and delicate beneath your fingertips. He held a tight grip on your waste, seemingly trying to keep you close as possible to him.

-Feeling your breast smothered onto his chest , nipples supply poking into his skin made the heat rush to his dick at an unbelievable speed

-Gavin has a very...active imagination. A small peak at your collar bones or the back of your lower thighs and he already has a saucy full-body image of you in his head. Saying something vaguely suggestive to him is the equivalent of your whimpers in his ear. You’ve ever wondered why those cheeks are always red?

-Plus the boys just super horny in general lol he always wants saucy times when hes with you. You don’t even have to ask and at the blink of an eye he’s shirtless ( he loves being shirtless for you ‘baby pls look at my hot bod pls love me the most’ )

-He poked you from beneath his navy boxers, hips slightly bucking into you as you continued to grope as suck at his neck and chest. His face flushed pink as his head started to cloud in his light waves of pleasure.

-As you began to kiss him lower, golden eyes poured into your own. He watched the way your lips connect and parted with his skin, leaving sheen pelts of spit his torso. Your tongue danced down his happy trail as you sucked light purple circles onto his lower abdomen.

-Gavin is a grunt and groner. He’s still shy, so he’ll be quiet at the beginning, but its hard to keep his cool when your figure is present to use at his leasure. Heavy breaths and pants will escape as he lets himself roam. His hands will never stay in the same spot when you’re around...They’ll start on your thighs, then to your waste, then your chest, then behind your head, then back to your chest, then to your ass, waist and chest, thighs and chest you get the idea

-Actually, most of the moans you hear from him are simply cause he failed at holding them in

-Btw Gavins v gentle with you but his ass grabs are superr hard. He probably just gets carried away at the sensation of it filling his palm but you usually still feel his grip long after he’s let go.

-He just wants to be everywhere, to take and claim all of you.

-You kiss and smell along his length, palming him over his briefs. The smell was so intoxicating you couldn’t help but clench your thighs, trying to create a heat of your own. You quickly disregard of his boxers revealing his beautiful fully erected cock. Pre-cum dribbes down as the cold hair hits his tip, or maybe cause the view of your face so close to his cock is just that hot.

“Mmm Babe stop looking” srry baby ur just so beautiful. Ofc you can’t look for long without him getting bashful.

-He has a large vein ranging from ball to tip and it feels amazing when you run your tongue across it. Like Victor, Gavin loves watching you play with it. Its almost too much for him to watch. Lick him all around with as much spit on your tongue as you can get, kiss his tip with his balls in your hand. And for the sake of our boy make alllll the dick-sucking noises too- They’re his favorite. He even trys to stay quiet to hear them better.

-You don’t tease Gavin as much as you do the others. Although he would take it for you, hes way too impatient. He’s got great stamina from his daily workouts and could fuck for years, but his first nut usually comes rather quickly. Like i said, it doesn’t take much to rile him up.

-A wet mouth and hollow cheeks get the job done for him. His grip in your hair is kinda massage like, he rakes along your scalp in un-rythmic patterns. In other words, he totally fucks up your hair everytime.

-In usual circumstances, your body is usually draped over him in the 69 position while you suck. Gavin absolutely, and i mean absolutely loves the smell of pussy. He is 100% a panty stealer. He loves to have your backside smothering his face as he thrusts up into your mouth. The smell is absolutely engulfing to him, he can’t help to suck at you from over your panties.

-But for sessions created just for catering to him, he likes to sit on the edge of the bed with your naked body quivering below him. He likes watching the liquids from your mouth dribbling off your chin to rest on your bouncing chest. But his favorite part is your legs spread wide for him exposing your opened heat. His tongue often peaks out in in-voluntarily licking motions before he can bite his lips. Your clit is his eye candy as he thrusts himself closer to his release.

-Typically lf hes layed across the bed he uses his forarm to hide his erotic faces from you he must not know how orgasmic you find them

-Gavins orgasims come on strong, erupting a deep growl from his throat as he shoots his loud into your mouth. His tense face softens , eyebrows rising showing his state of complete bliss. He stiffens, holding you down on him until his very last wave.

-Once he’s done, he releases his grip resulting in an erotic view of his white semen spilling out from your mouth, it drips down onto your breast piling up with the rest of your liquids. Your wattering eyes look up into his sending an intense blush across his cheeks

-If Gavin were in an anime he would be the boy with massive nose bleeds when he see’s you

-ooh no he’s horny again

-yes he will clean u up first

Kiro:

- Kiro is also a giver in theory

- Now dont get me wrong- this bright bubbly ball of sunshine loves to give his acts of service to you, but he is , very much so, a boy. He loves when you go down on him, he loves being the center of your attention and all your gestures.

-Kiros definitely a pint up boy- going from show to show and interview to interview, he barley has enough time to sleep let alone relive himself. When you two first got together, he was very modest and a bit shy to show his manly desires for you. He respects you for being such an important person in his life, having ungodly thoughts about you made him feel like a nasty boy. But as time passed and you escalated in your intamacy, he is absolutely shameless in letting you know what he wants or if he’s ‘in the mood~” “babee.. stop working..i wanna play~” “Those shorts look very good on you miss chips...so... short”

-Kiro doesnt talk much to let you know what he wants anyway, in fact, one glance into those ocean blue orbs and you know his intentions. He’ll act super cutesy at first, slowly inching his body closer to yours for ‘innocent cuddles’. Kiro is a very hands-on affectionate, so this part was normal. But soon his hands will start to wonder and grope while a devious smirk spreads across his face he knows you see him as a sweet little angel and he will play that role to his advantage

-He’ll nuzzle his head into your chest demanding you take notice to his actions like a freaking puppy, And once you lower your gaze to find his figure latched around yours, his seemly sensual orbs pour into you, sending you notice of his want for you. When kiro uses his cuteness to fight for dominance he will always win.Always. And you’re okay with that.

-Kiros not necessarily shy about his noises for you , especially after all the praises you’ve whispered to him about how good they sound. He’ll moan and whimper to you as your hands massage his length over his boxers, peppering kisses down his neck and across his chest. Your kisses feel like heaven to him, leaving small waves of heat at every peck and nibble left on him.

-With that said, when you start kissing and sucking at his lower abdomen , his mouth immediately hangs releasing a steady breathy moan for you. The view when you looked up at him was godly..

-Kiros pleasure face is absolutely erotic. His pleasure state in general is mouth watering. His eyes are dark and low, his face twists and contorts, he grabs at everything; His hair, the sheets, the pillows, you, anything that might fall into his grasp is being pulled and scratched at. As much as you would love to spend all your time planting kisses on his skin, you quickly relocate to different spots making sure not to leave any marks. Kiros shirt lifts a considerable amount of times from him jumping around on stage, so its better not to ruin any of his fans’ day by new-found knowledge of his intamacys. This service is for you but that is fan-service for them.

-Kiro loves being teased :)

-Blow your heat onto his head from over his boxers for a easy and quick way to wake up little kiro. Kiss him around the spots he wants you too, and make sure to keep eye contact. He gets super off from you watching him he just loves attention

-Please pay all attention to his balls. Lick them up and down for a while with his legs spread wide, nibble and suck at them. This will make his hips a thrusting mess as he trys to create more friction for himself.

-He’ll use his own hand to push his dick in your mouth, but first, he’ll watch as you lay there mouth wide and tongue hung for him. He’ll press his tip against your face, letting it roll over all your features. He lets out a soft giggle before letting the tip roll over your hot wet tongue. The wave immediately made his cock twich infront of you, a dribble of pre-cum leaking from his tip.

-Kiro is def a hand holder. Pls expect him to want your fingers interlocked to bring a loving gesture to your vile actions. He’s internally lovey-dovey during sex. Even if he’s not verbally spitting soft phrases at you, his mind is filled with fluffy thoughts of you “ahh.. so pretty” “she uses her mouth so good..” “she’s so lovely” “im so lucky” “..m-more there...ah...perfect” “i love her so much”

-Kiro nuts very well <3

- The boys orgasims...are mighty. His hip thrusts might get a little rough as his head fills with waves of pleasure, subconsciously bobbing your head down a little harder than intended. Short moans tumble over eatch other as his breath quickens considerably. He trys his hardest to keep his eyes open, the view of you teary-eyed engulfing his length is enough to finish him and it does .

- A few more deep sucks and his back arches, his body stiffens as waves of hypnotizing pleasure take him over. His moans were as pretty as his singing coming close, but as the shocks of heated kisses reminisce through his nerves , he sits silent, mouth hung open only to release small high-pitched gasps and a maybe dribble of drool.

-As he comes down from his high he’ll wipe your face and spit beautiful praises at you. He’s a fluff after sex so expect lots of mushy gushy cuddles and pillow talk <3

“Wow...that was the best one...”

“you said that the last time...and the time before...”

“Yeah !!! Until next time too~ !!”

-

Yayyy the continuation is done! Pls lmk what you think, and my ask is currently open ! Gavins is a bit short cause he’s my fav, so im a perfectionist in representing his image lol. Will add the links once im off work -Myk

[jaimetheexplorer]

I brought down by niks latest interview.Saying "J never needed redemp.He was a guy who certain circumstances in his life e.g. Kingslayer so then he needed to redeem himself bc he did this horrible thing when killing the Mad King. Then N said the redemp arc where he had to be good guy, stay with Bri etc that's not GOT.You cant erase ur prev life.Jaime bel that redeem urself meant redeeming his past and he couldnt. He can't cut off who he was.The idea of leaving C alone is impossible to him" Wtf?

2/2 Downhearted anon. Just that interview makes no sense. In prev season interviews, wasnt Nik wanting Jaime to escape Cersei for good and be with Braime forever, like he was the biggest Braime shipper??? I dont understand. Does he think ppl don’t remember stuff? Its a shame theres no way to ask him about this.

Dear Downhearted anon,

I have to admit I read only a short excerpt from that interview, so I might have missed some of the other content, but, from what I read, this is what I can say.

There are different layers to his comments, IMO. One is the take on the story, and the other is the justification of the writing choices. And, as much as I might vehemently disagree with the former, what I take issue with is the latter.

When it comes to the take on the story, we have to remember that he has to talk about the actual content of the show. The show, unfortunately, did go with the idea that Jaime is essentially doomed to never escape his past. I do not believe that is his arc in the books for many reasons, and I think it was extremely underwhelming, nihlistic and unsatisfying even just taking the context of the show into account. But, unfortunately, nihilistic and unsatisfying is what we got. The show was aiming for romanticizing incest and abuse romantic tragedy with JC, in the end (I actually think there was a far more disastrous chain of events at play, which required multiple OOC developments for multiple major characters just to arrive to Jon killing Dany - but that’s a longer story), and it is what it is. He has to talk about the reality of the episodes, not the alternatives.

If you take most of Nik’s comments, and go back to read D&D’s and Cogman’s interviews from the past, you’ll notice that it’s mostly stuff that’s lifted straight from their quotes, even down to the language: “good guy/bad guy”, “he doesn’t have a redemption arc”, “it’s just life, and he has made some mistakes”. I don’t know whether this is because he had a “final season” briefing with them and came around to see things their way and agree, or because he was told this is what he was supposed to say about the story, or because even though he doesn’t agree with it, this is what was written in the end and so this is what he talks about. His reasoning for saying these things is anybody’s guess and kind of beyond the point. But, where before he used to have his own take on the character and his arc, he’s now basically regurgitating the party line.

For my part, I never completely disagreed with the idea that Jaime does not need redemption per se. Jaime doesn’t need atonement for slaying the Mad King, for sure. He needs recognition for that. He needs atonement for a other horrible things he’s done, but even those (e.g., pushing Bran, the incest) are more about moral gray areas areas than villainous behaviour per se, since he’s never committed atrocious acts just for his own selfish gain, or for power, or because he enjoyed hurting and killing. More importantly, I have always seen Jaime’s story as more of an identity arc, where redemption is just one component. In that sense, I can agree with the take that that he is a “complex character who, at times, has made some terrible mistakes”. Jaime is not, and never was, a straightforward villain who needs to atone for his sins. He’s a much more complex and layered mix of sins and honour, and goodness and idealism turned bitterness and cynicism, and a messy product of living most of his life in toxic and abusive environments who, in some situations, has committed some horrible mistakes that he needs to own up to and face the consequences of, and who is trying to redefine and reinvent himself in the aftermath of some life-changing events such as losing his hand, meeting Brienne and growing disillusioned with Cersei. 

The problem is that, while D&D preach about Jaime being a complex character who does not need a ‘cheesy’ linear redemption arc, they also, in the same breath, justify an ending that shoves him precisely into a clear, black-and-white, simplistic category (”he just accepts he is a hateful man”) or display the psychological depth of a 5th grader (go check out their take on the sept scene in their Oxford Union Q&A and their inability to think in any more complex terms than “good guy/bad guy” or to understand that not all “bad” actions are equal). They’re not deep writers, and that shows painfully in their execution. But I can understand the “no need for redemption” arc, from a theoretical/philosophical perspective.

What I take far more issue with is justifying writing choices by attempting to play the realism card, or the adult writing card, or the “this is GoT” card, basically implying that everyone who dislikes or criticize it is being unrealistic, immature or unsophisticated for not accepting the only inevitable outcome to a story (I wrote a twitter thread about it this week). Just because your story has decided to depict things in a certain way, it does not mean that that is the only realistic option for the story, and that people who expected/wanted/hoped for something different were fooling themselves, let alone that it had to be written that way because that is how life works.

Sure, there are people who fail to break away from their (abusive, traumatic, toxic, what have you) past and move on, but there are also plenty of people who do, and who end up thriving. One outcome isn’t any more realistic or true to life than the others. And, while some might think this is a hyperbole, it is highly irresponsible, IMO, to say that being unable to escape toxicity and your past is “the way things are”, when there might be people out there who do struggle with trauma, toxic and abusive relationship (or know people who do).

On top of that, it is rather silly to imply that we were expecting some unrealistic, too-easy scenario, where Jaime flipped a switch and totally erased his past overnight. That implication is misguided, at best, and dishonest, at worst. We put up with four entire seasons of show-only “non-linear” storytelling when it comes to Jaime, and were incredibly patient with it. Wasn’t the point of those four seasons precisely to show that life is complicated and he couldn’t just let go of his past so easily? We watched that. It happened. Nothing about this was easy or unearned.

Had we been shown a Jaime who was 100%, stupidly and completely devoted to Cersei at every turn, cruel, evil, selfish and not caring about the innocents, of course expecting an outcome where he just leaves it all behind for a honourable wench or what have you would have been a ridiculous expectation to have. Indeed, back when Jaime did come across as that kind of character, nobody was expecting anything from him. He could have died with Cersei under those bricks and most wouldn’t have cared.

Instead, for years, we were shown a Jaime that did struggle between his toxic past/Cersei and his honour and, far more often than not, we saw his honour win out. While I can see an argument for saying that didn’t guarantee an outcome where he did break free of his past for good, it’s not like like there was no buildup or seeding for the more positive, less nihilistic alternative. So I don’t find it so far fetched to have expected the events of S7 to be the last straw that finally tipped the scales completely to the other side (especially considering how 8x02 was written very heavily to imply just that or, at the very least, did not seed any doubt).

By Nikolaj’s own admission in TONS of interviews, he had been fighting with D&D for years because he expected things to move in a certain direction and kept getting frustrated when they didn’t, or when they confused him. He wanted the exact same things we wanted for Jaime and in his relationships with Cersei and Brienne since SEASON 2. He might have resigned himself in the end to having lost the battle, but he behaved exactly like us for years. So, assuming he believes what he is saying, if I could talk to him, I’d ask him how is it that he got the same feeling of “expectation” for something that in the end never came? Maybe because the seeding for both options were there all along? Maybe because, if the seeding for both options were there all along, the alternative isn’t so far fetched and inconceivable after all? Maybe because if the alternative isn’t so far fetched and inconceivable after all, then what we got isn’t the only inevitable way this could go down? Food for thought.

Of course, I want to believe that he isn’t that tone-deaf and unsophisticated as an actor (and a writer) not to realize that the only problem with the way Jaime and JB were written in S8 was not the fact that they didn’t get a HEA. Ignoring the writing quality, for a moment, and just focusing on the writing choices, there were literally dozens of ways of writing a story that ended even in a similar tragedy (EVEN with Jaime dying with Cersei), that would have been far better and more satisfying than what we got. The problem isn’t that Jaime didn’t declare his everlasting love for Brienne or that he didn’t stay together with her. The problem is that we patiently waited through all the buildup and seeding mentioned above, for years, for a relationship that ended up being butchered within 30 minutes, destroying literally everything it ever stood for (first and foremost trust and respect - I am not going to list everything, but Jaime trying to sneak out without so much of a goodbye and being completely indifferent to her pain after she vouched for him and saved his life multiple times was not only OOC, but completely unnecessary to the plot, unless it aimed to destroy the foundations of their bond, way beyond the romance).

To conclude, I’ll leave you with GRRM’s own words, when asked about Jaime’s redemption arc that he, unlike the show, has explicitly stated he wishes to explore:

“I want there to be a possibility of redemption for us, because we all do terrible things. We should be able to be forgiven. Because if there’s no possibility of redemption, what’s the answer then?”

The show decided that the answer is that we don’t escape our past. We are doomed from the beginning and any attempt to change and move on is eventually futile (and that ended up being true of nearly every character in the show, not just Jaime). But that doesn’t seem to be at all the stance GRRM has on this whole thing, and I would dare anyone to tell me that GRRM’s vision and his writing are inferior, too easy, or less realistic than what we got from the show.

There’s no guarantee that Jaime will survive in the books, or that he and Brienne will get a HEA (although I do not rule it out at all).  But the fact that the man who invented these characters and this world has a different stance on Jaime and redemption automatically invalidates any nonsense show people can say about how this was the perfect and only way it could end, and that expecting anything different from this series was wishful thinking.

[dvp95]

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 4

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e (eventually)

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 3,122 for this chapter (15,775 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

i want to die

Aw, what happened? Did you give SugarScape spoilers?

Despite Dan's horrible mood, that makes him snort. no you buffoon 1 sugarscape has been dead for yrs, much like how i would like to be 2 i don't say spoilers ever 3 it's WORSE

I may be a little out of the loop. You gonna make me guess? I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think it was.

phil, Dan sends on its own for emphasis. i touched my coworkers tit on live telly and now i can't look her in the fucking eye

Jaime hadn't actually cared much. She'd laughed at him, made some jokes about how Dan's spatial awareness hadn't developed yet, and then moved on with grace. Meanwhile, Dan had been having a mild panic attack on his side of the sofa because all he'd meant to do was brush a distracting piece of lint off Jaime's shoulder and, somehow, drastically missed.

It was all of ten seconds of his life, and Dan is still freaking out about it. He's been pacing his hotel room since they got back, hasn't even bothered changing out of the nice shirt he'd worn for the interview.

Like accidentally? Phil finally replies on Dan's third lap of the room.

no phil i need to grope people on camera to finish. what kind of person do you think i am. YES ACCIDENTALLY.

I dunno what you're into. I'm sure she knew it was an accident?

Yes, Jaime knows it was an accident, but that's not the point. there will be gifs phil

Phil sends him some emojis, only some of which make any sense in context. Dan isn't sure why that calms him down so much. He sits on the edge of his bed and sighs, waiting for Phil to stop typing. It takes a while, but eventually Phil says, Then you'll deal with them. It honestly can't be worse than you falling off the Jimmy Kimmel stage? I swear I saw that gif for months before I knew who you were. And if you're worried about people saying you did it on purpose, tell Jaime. You can talk about it like adults.

It's all laid out very clearly, and while it does make Dan feel better, he doesn't think he's finished being dramatic yet. He checks the time and sighs heavily.

dont suppose you'd be up for a late lunch/early dinner to distract me??

Sure! :), Phil responds immediately. The quickness of his agreement makes that part of Dan's brain start shouting again. I'm actually filming today though. I'll be done in like half an hour if you want to meet me here? Then we can either get takeaway or go out?

It's truly fascinating to Dan how practiced Phil seems to be at giving someone options and pretending like either one is fine rather than just offering his own opinion on the matter.

After assuring Phil that he'll be there, Dan considers getting changed. He's only got fifteen if he wants to get to Phil's place on time, and he isn't exactly known for his quick wardrobe decisions.

In the end, Dan just swaps his nice shoes for some sneakers and rolls his sleeves up. He's a little overdressed still, a McQueen button-down maybe a little too fancy for just hanging out with a new friend, but. He doesn't want to be late. Besides, he looks good. Maybe he likes the idea of Phil being surprised, looking him up and down, having the interview as an excuse to be so dressed up.

The part of Dan's brain that exists to remind him that men are attractive has been so, so loud this week. It's been impossible to ignore.

Dan messes with his straightened fringe until his phone beeps, telling him his Uber is outside. He remembers where Phil lives, in the very vaguest sense, but has to get the exact address from Phil.

He's glad that Phil's front door is painted a specific sort of blue. It would be just Dan's luck to knock on the wrong narrow brick building.

Thor barks, somewhere inside, and Dan shoves his hands in his jean pockets as he waits for Phil to answer the door.

"Hey!" Phil greets him before he's even fully opened the door, beaming. To the great pleasure of Dan's ego, Phil's eyebrows raise as he looks Dan over. "Y'know, you could have changed. I wouldn't have minded waiting a bit."

"Feeling underdressed?" Dan teases.

"A little," says Phil. He pushes his glasses up and gestures at his own graphic tee and slippered feet. "If I'd known there was a dress code, I'd have put on a sports coat."

"You look fine, I was just impatient," says Dan. He waits for another beat. "Uh, can I... come in?"

Phil is giving him a smile, the one with deep eye crinkles and his tongue trapped in his teeth, but it drops as he realises that they've just been standing in his doorway. "Oh! Yeah, sorry, come in. I'm actually not done filming just yet, Thor distracted me. Shouldn't take long."

"What are you filming?" Dan asks curiously, his heart pounding a bit as he follows Phil inside and then, surprisingly, downstairs. "Wait, you're the basement flat? Your video lighting is so good, though!"

"Mostly artificial," says Phil. He sounds wistful. "Someday I'll have a place with a glass window, just you wait."

"What are your windows made of now?"

"What? They're made of glass."

"Then why would you need to wait for one?"

"What did I say?"

"Glass window," says Dan, fighting back giggles. They reach the basement door and Phil lets them in, giving Dan a sheepish sort of smile over his shoulder.

"I meant a glass wall. Like a wall of windows, y'know? That's the dream."

"Yeah, it is," Dan agrees, but he's distracted by the fact that he's in Phil's flat. He kicks his shoes off among the pile next to the door and looks around. "It feels super weird to be seeing this place in 3D."

"Oh, probably," Phil laughs. "You want some slippers? My feet get so cold down here, I've got like a dozen pairs."

"I'm alright."

Phil's flat has less natural light than Dan had expected - or, evidently, than Phil would prefer - but the sheer number of lamps, string lights, and scented candles scattered around the place give it a soft glow that Dan is a big fan of. There are bright colours on every surface and every wall, and the overall effect isn't as overwhelming as it could be. Dan still thinks it could be edited down, but. It's very Phil.

To his vague surprise, he sees Phil's bed pushed against the far wall, a backless bookshelf the only divider from the open living space. Box lights and camera are all set up at the side of his bed.

"If I didn't know what you did for a living," says Dan, gesturing at the setup.

Phil grins at him. "Yeah. My landlord still doesn't believe that I don't make porn. You want a drink?"

"Sure, whatever you're having," says Dan. He spots Thor, curled up on a fluffy dog bed in the corner, and immediately starts cooing. "Oh, there you are! Hello!"

Thor perks up, cocking his head to the side, and Dan gets on the floor to call him over. Within seconds, he ends up on his back with an armful of happy puppy, and he giggles helplessly as Thor licks all over his face.

"Thor, down," Phil says from somewhere above them, sounding amused. Thor backs off, winding through Phil's legs a couple of times before he trots back to his bed.

"I love him," Dan informs Phil, still flat on his back. It's not the most flattering angle to look up at Phil, but he can deal.

"So do I," says Phil. He holds up a glass. "Ribena?"

"Please," says Dan, standing back up to accept the drink. He suddenly feels very weird, standing in the middle of Phil's lounge slash dining area slash kitchen slash bedroom. "Er, you've still got to finish filming, yeah? I can just... sit."

With a small grin, Phil waves at his sofa. "Make yourself at home. Just try not to rile Thor up too much? He's already made my blooper reel longer than the video itself."

"I think I can handle that."

Dan cannot, in fact, handle it. He brings his Ribena to the floor so he can sit next to the dog bed and scratch all of Thor's favourite spots. He finds one of Thor's toys as he listens to Phil wrap up a story that sounds maybe ten percent true, and then - well. It progresses to a tug of war before Dan can even entertain the idea that this might be distracting to Phil.

"Dan," Phil says, in this tone like he's trying to sound stern but can't stop smiling. "Are you growling at Thor?"

Yes. "Maybe."

"Maybe? I'm literally filming right now."

"He's just so cute," Dan whines.

"I know he is," says Phil. "I deal with this struggle every day of my life."

Dan sighs and lets Thor have the rope, watching wistfully as he zooms off with it. "Sorry, I'm really not trying to be a dick. I know this is your job."

"Hey, no," says Phil, suddenly sounding much closer. Dan looks up from corgi-watching to see Phil leaning against one side of his shelves, hands in his pockets and a soft smile playing around his lips. Butterflies erupt somewhere in Dan's belly. "I'm not bothered, really. I think it's cute. I just also, y'know, would like to eat sometime today."

"Why don't I just order something?" Dan suggests.

"Alright," Phil hums. "I'm lactose intolerant and hate mushrooms, but the intolerance can be ignored for pizza if that's what you want."

If that's what Dan wants. "What do you want?"

Phil blinks. "Oh, whatever."

"No," Dan presses. He knows it isn't very good manners, but he wants to see if Phil will actually offer an opinion of his own instead of walking that thin line of indifference. "I will quite literally eat anything. You pick."

It's quiet for a moment while Phil thinks it over, only the hum of the refrigerator and Thor's little huffs of breath for background noise. Dan has to admit that the small basement windows have an upside - less traffic din is able to get through. Coupled with the way Phil has lit his flat, the atmosphere makes Dan feel comfortable, like he could curl up here and just stay.

The rug under Dan is soft, the Ribena is perfectly watered down, and he's got a cute dog and a cute boy to stare at. He really could sit here forever and be content.

"I feel like Chinese," Phil says eventually. He's chewing on his lip, and Dan realises he hasn't seen Phil look so... anxious.

"Chinese sounds great," says Dan. "I'll order."

Phil seems relieved that he hasn't accidentally made a horrible choice or something, and he goes back to filming while Dan fucks around on different apps to find the best Chinese place in Phil's area.

--

"You never actually told me how you managed to grope someone."

Dan, who had gotten all wrapped up in chow mein and MasterChef and had forgotten his hellish morning by this point, chokes on air.

"Oh my god, nooooo," he groans, covering his face with both hands and sinking further into the sofa. He hears Phil laugh. "She just! Had some fucking, like, fluff on her shoulder. Like lint. I was gonna brush it off."

"How did you fuck that up so hard?" Phil asks. He sounds so amused that Dan wants to keep hiding, but the curse has him peeking out between his fingers curiously.

"I've never heard you swear," says Dan.

"I don't," says Phil, "on YouTube."

Unfortunately for Dan, the sound of Phil swearing is very hot. He groans again, overdramatic to cover up his very real blush, and gesticulates wildly. "My limbs are not friends with my brain, okay, I've got very big hands and I misjudged where I was putting one of them."

"Yeah, you do." Phil's eyes track Dan's hands with an intensity that makes Dan's gut constrict. Then he blinks, meets Dan's eye again, and the look is gone. "That sucks. I get it, though, my body and brain are not on the same frequency at all."

Dan thinks, a little hysterically, that this is a very good reason not to try and have sex with AmazingPhil - he doesn't want to end up in A&E.

There are roughly a hundred other reasons, too. Dan's uncertainty about his own identity, the fact that he's only in the UK for another two weeks, and the very real bond that they've been forming as friends are all at the forefront of his mind. Even so, it helps to make a joke to himself about it.

"Have you ever touched a tit accidentally?" Dan asks dryly.

"I've never touched a tit at all," says Phil. He's drinking coffee despite the hour hurtling into evening quickly, and Dan has to wonder if he ever sleeps. "Not really my wheelhouse."

"They're fine," Dan says, with much less enthusiasm than he normally would. He can't sit here and talk about his boob opinions with Phil, though, because that way lies madness. So he changes the subject, talks loudly about the episode of MasterChef they're on.

He's not ready to come out properly to himself, let alone to someone he barely knows.

Well, okay. It would be more accurate to say 'just met', because Dan feels like he does know Phil fairly well at this point. At least as well as he knows Jaime or Patrick. And maybe that's more of a commentary on how shit a coworker he is, how bad at making friends he is, but whatever. The point is that he likes spending time with Phil a lot, and he wants to do it more, but he can't have that conversation yet.

Dan knows he's attracted to guys. When he was younger and had an even worse handle on himself, that attraction would either lead to fumbling, fearing for his safety, or both.

Right now, specifically, he is attracted to Phil. This feels different, because he's got no reason to fear Phil or to immediately jump him, he's just comfortable sitting next to Phil in the dim light and letting the warmth of the feelings settle in his chest.

Maybe someday he'll be ready to tell Phil that he likes guys. Maybe that'll even go somewhere. For now, Dan is going to trash talk the chefs like he knows what he's talking about and settle into Phil's sofa and laugh like he belongs there.

Dan gets a little too comfortable. He has no idea what time it is when his eyes start to droop, but he's sure it's unreasonably early for someone who goes to sleep in the wee hours of morning most of the time.

A hand on his shoulder jerks him back into full awareness, and Dan blinks over at Phil. "Whuh?"

"Hey," says Phil. He's smiling and his voice is low. Dan can feel the slight chill of Phil's palm through the thin material of his dress shirt.

It's overwhelming, suddenly, how much Dan wants to lean in to Phil. The itch under his skin that he would feel ten years or so ago, the restless, guilty want that had him falling into bed with whatever bloke would let him, is thrumming through him with an intensity he hasn't prepared for. Dan's tongue feels heavy, and his gaze drops to Phil's mouth before he can stop it.

"Hey," echoes Dan, a beat or two late.

"You're falling asleep," Phil says. There's something about his tone that Dan can't quite place, so focused on his own emotions as he is. "You wanna stay over?"

Dan really, really does. But he really, really, really shouldn't.

"I can't," he says, not bothering to hide how regretful it makes him to turn the offer down. "Breakfast telly or whatever in the morning."

The loss of Phil's hand on Dan is one that he thinks he'll be feeling until Phil touches him again. "Of course. You probably have to wake up ridiculously early for that, huh?"

"Unfortunately."

Dan orders himself an Uber and slides to the floor with Thor in order to stop himself from giving his body what it wants in the short amount of time before it arrives. Thor likes the attention, and when Dan glances up to see the soft, unguarded look in Phil's eye, he thinks that Phil probably doesn't mind being ditched for his dog.

They chat about MasterChef and Dan's upcoming interview for a few minutes, safe topics, and Dan is disappointed when his phone beeps with the notification that his driver is close. He doesn't actually want to leave, he just knows he has to.

"We have to do this again before you head up to Edinburgh," says Phil. He walks Dan to the door, which is a little pointless - it's a total of eight steps away.

"How'd you know we're going to Edinburgh this weekend?" Dan asks, distracted from the process of getting his shoes on.

"Been in the business a while, lucky guess."

"Right. Well, then, I'll have to see what I'm doing on Friday."

"Yeah, just message me," says Phil.

There's a moment after Dan gets his shoes on where they're both just standing there looking at each other, and Dan's heart starts pounding like he's getting chased.

"I'll see you Friday," Dan says quietly, even though he isn't sure that he's free. He just needs to say something. His phone beeps again, probably telling him the driver is outside, and Dan is both relieved and annoyed.

Phil opens his mouth to say something, but Dan's racing heart and anxious mind doesn't want to hear whatever it is. He steps forward and wraps his arms around Phil's waist in a tight goodbye hug. It's the sort of embrace he'd give any of his friends, nothing overly intimate, but he knows he'll be thinking about it later anyway.

When Phil's arms drape over Dan's shoulders and his thumb brushes deliberate circles over the back of Dan's neck, it hits Dan very suddenly that if he were to try and kiss Phil right now, Phil would let him. That kind of knowledge is intoxicating, the surety of it making Dan's head swim.

But. He still doesn't know for sure what he wants, and his Uber is waiting. So he just pulls away, says goodnight, leaves.

[eerienature]

Now it's my turn🙈💚 1, 2, 8, 11, 13, 15, 20, 21, 24, 27, 30, 37, 42, 56, 57 and 59 sorry that this is late🙈💙

ayyyyyyy my guy! ❤️

1) selfie

ditto so I’ll dm you em! x

2) what would you name your future kids?:

so i’ve always liked the name layla because i really admire the beauty of a night sky but then it literally means sheep in aapni zerbaan so ye lol; i think the name marina is pretty too like the whole nature element, i liked marwa as well till my sister said it sounds like ‘marijuana’ which just ruined it for me totally lol; yusuf is a nice one, you know because of his whole story which i just find really moving and im sure i had some more prophet names which i really like but none of em spring to mind at the mo

8) have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? 

yesssss so the other day i was dress rehearsing for an interview (pray i get the job! x) and none of my smart-wear would fit so i just angry cried it out; i have bipolar as well and before i was on the right meds i’d do that daily but now i seem to be doing a lot better alhamdulilah

11) are you listening to music right now? 

astaghfirullah sister skskskk but naa i stopped listening to music about a year ago i feel like it just dragged me down might just be me but like even the uplifting stuff has melancholic vibes to it 

13) how do you feel right now?

so like i think i missed my meds this morning and at round 7pm i got this really intense agitation where my mood randomly switched within the space of like an hour and i got angry that i was angry but now that im home and talking to you i feel a lot better - I was really on one earlier on in the day when we were messaging tho bc i was like ‘OMG IVE FOUND A NEW FRENNNNN’ which is a huge positive for me!

15) personality description

aaaaaaa i could go on forever, hope you enjoy the cv! so im a really perceptive person - i have a strong insight into my own situations and mindset as well as those of others (a positive side to mental illness i think, like the whole self awareness aspect) i’ve been told im ‘compelling’ which is an incredible personality trait to have! i have a mad sense of humour, talkative, very outgoing, very extroverted and i love a good bit of banter with the right people, love meeting new people and hearing their perspectives too. I’m very intellectual, i love discussions and acquiring knowledge and anything which makes you think or reevaluate your current opinions! but ya im really proud of my identity purely bc i genuinely didnt think i’d make it past 16 (suicidal depression, self harm, mad mania, abuse, overdoses, etc) but like alhamdulilah here i am and i think its my perseverance and my relationship w god which i really admire - im really proud of who i’ve become! (but i mean theyre trying to stamp a personaity disorder diagnosis onto me so i guess i could be chatting bubbles and all this could be totally subjective *x files theme toon plays*)

20) what is your favourite song at the moment?

i mean i hear the odd bop over the radio every now n then n the ‘JUST BC ITS OVER DOESNT MEAN ITS REALLY OVER N IF I THINK IT OVER MAYBE YOU’LL BE COMING OVER AGAINNNN’ song just really seems to get me

21) age and birthday?

ahh see i feel like an old granny ting now compared to you! i’m 20 and my birthdays the 5th of april so i guess we’re both april babies!

24) height

5′2 but i dont look as short as i sound i swear lol

27) things i hate

im no longer a hateful person like even the people i hate i pray for but bidah has got to be #1 without a single doubt, aside from that its all the usual stuff such as bigots, nonces, etc

30) favourite tv shows

mostly stuff on netflix like at the moment im watching ‘sacred games’ and ive never been into the whole bollywood vibe but i swear ive been missing out like! peaky blinders is amazing and tommy is beautiful i dont care if hes my dads age, bedlam was incredible, period dramas like victoria n bbcs les mis are really good, you should check out this is england, shameless, dark and NSU: german history they are mint; i love a good documentary as well

37)  favourite actor/actress

angelina jolie i think! like i have an entire hashtag dedicated to her so ya i guess shes the one!

42) favourite books

kite runner and a thousand splendid suns (defo recommend them both yasmin esp tss - if you ever do read it give us a shout and ill send you the coursework i did for it in Alevel!)

56) favourite food

ben and jerries along with cookie dough are my absolute weaknesses but im inshlla cutting down on sugar so we’ll see if anything changes w those ones!

57) favourite animals

cats for sure! mines called marno shes now 5 alhamdulilah and she is my life n soul - i like dogs but they get over excited way to easily which startles me a bit esp as im v spaced out a lot of the time so a dog tryna hug me is like arghh wyd but i mean i admire their intentions lol that n the fact theyre najis is also bit of a problem for me (whups)

59) why i joined tumblr

so i think i came across tumblr on a random google search n i figured it’d be a good form of self expression n a good emotional outlet esp as i was in a v v bad mind-space at the time so i felt i needed something to call my own which eventually became my lil blog - but ye if you go allllllll the way back to my old reblogs its literally just those black and white depression posts and gifs which is actually really upsetting to me; like although im no longer in that place anymore tumblr continues to be a very good therapeutic outlet so im v grateful for that ❤️

and thats all! thanks for reading this far b and feel free to ask me any other questions, i enjoy answering them! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[minblush]

k-armys are spreading a tweet namjoon made in 2013 about korean independence where he says 'There is no future for people who have forgotten history' which shows he probably won't agree with working with a japanese imperialist, hopefully he still has this attitude in 2018 twitter(.)com/BTS_twt/status/367906282012831744

yeah i have seen them doing that ;; and fancafe and all the official tweets since then have been flooded with people talking about these things too, but bighit is playing dead fish so far :(

microwavehater said:Am i the only one who never believed that bts has ~creative freedom~ (anymore) ? If they (still) had, they’d use their influence to spread msgs like baepsae, not just love urself uwu (considering yoongi made political pre-debut releases &interview stuff) Also, their newer releases (LY her onwards) are v much lacking in the hiphop department which (i assume) was a marketing choice. Hiphop just doesn’t sell as well to a female audience (along w the fact that vocalists are the face of BTS).

i think they still have creative input but creative freedom definitely not, but it’s debatable if they ever had it anyway? idk.. and them moving on from hip-hop was definitely both trying to change things up as well as appeal to a broader audience, love yourself era overall was an attempt to basically touch as many people as possible, i don’t mind them changing their musical direction but what has bothered me was the loss of their involvement (because it is less)

Anonymous said:I totally agree with you about BTS losing their originality. I’m almost starting to get annoyed of them. Now bc they know people love their music for its topics such as mental health, etc I almost feel like they’re thinking that they’re obliged to constantly write music that only has a “social” message. I did not like Idol at all. It was pretty tacky and the idea of loving yourself seemed so forced in the lyrics. I want them to make songs about whatever they want at that moment. (1/?)

Anonymous said:Also every fan keeps saying the same thing about them being unfiltered when actually they’ve become SO filtered now. They’ve almost created this illusion of being super open with us when actually we barely know anything about them. I don’t mind that but I hate how they’re touting that as something that applies to them. Honestly most fans now are the bandwagon type and the fandom is starting to feel more like a cult versus a community like it used to. (2/2)

i don’t know if i ever talked about them losing their originality? because originality is debatable in this case too, if you mean their original intention then yes i agree with that, and i agree they definitely created the illusion, once i got out of the bts bubble a bit and also thought back to the old days, i realized how closed off and filtered everything is comparison to the past and even to other kpop groups nowadays that are way more direct, i feel like even exo is more outspoken these days and direct with their fans which i thought could never happen??? i used to stan them and it was hell hah.. and these days.. wowza..

Anonymous said:Fuck yesss we need new yoongi mixtape and i agree abt what you said i wish bts could read that and be like okay guys i think they are right we have done some questionable things and shit has to be addressed whether we like it or not and just fucking do so. Some fans will drop but some would drop anyway bc it is getting out of hand i would never want to call bts problematic bc shit i cannot imagine that being true but them supporting problematic people is kind of making them ones

i just feel like nothing will change because bang pd is too greedy.. he really is eyeing like building a global empire with all the business deals he has been making.. also bts have done plenty “problematic” things themselves, though not to that extent, but some of their actions have hurt a lot of people too, but it depends on what bothers you, i find colorism and things like that a problem, but ofc definitely different thing than pedophilia and such, i just meant to say that nobody is perfect

Anonymous said:Do you ever just wanna randomly bump into bts and be like “hey lets talk!” And then tell them about all these issues and fandom drama and just tell them to wake the hell up? Cos I do haha

well even if we bumped into them, most of them wouldn’t talk to you so dkajsdka

Anonymous said:i agree with everything you have said but what bothers me is he is a co produce of produce 48 and nobody really complained about it even though he is know for sexualizing minors... or did i miss something?? also i feel sorry for you getting hate you were just saying your opinion and people should start to accept some facts! it's not the first time bighit did something questionable ://

oh but actually when that was announced there was backlash? i remember seeing complaints about the producer as well as some of the trainees due to their supposed right wing associations, there were also complaints about women’s rights cause of the oversexualization of some of the girls back in japan and the producer’s lyrics, i think this backlash seems bigger or more visible to you because it’s happening in your fandom ;; that season of produce even ended up having the lowest rankings and voting participation so :/

Anonymous said:I have three words to describe the part of the fandom that blindly accepts all the things, even the problematic ones, BTS do. 'Situationally woke cult'.

that fits perfectly

Anonymous said:i rly appreciate sou voicing your thoughts even if they r not in essay form or refined for days. I agree with you on many things but at the same time it's not as disappointing to me bc I guess I never held them to high standards. like in the beginning I could kinda imagine that they were somewhat sincere (but still remained sceptical) but the more they got famous the more I accepted that that sincerity and authenticity would stop bc that's just the kind of business that kpop is... (♤)

Anonymous said:like it's an inherently dishonest industry. they sell an image just like everyone else, and at best(!!) they were as real as possible with us in the beginning. no doubt they wanted to be different from everyone else and it was easier as long as not that many people gave a fuck about them. but as soon as they started to this chance was over. so i guess what I'm saying is that my view didn't change and I'm not surprised, because I never really bought what they were trying to sell...(♤)

Anonymous said:I still love them, theyre likeable & adorable boys. but theyre not changing the world. they're not in the right kind of industry for that. they love their luxury expensive stuff & the glamour of it all & that's okay. I just take every concept the whip out w/ a grain of salt & a knowing smile & enjoy the entertainment. that's just my own two cents that nobody in the fandom wants to hear so I'm bothering u. & its not an analysis or anything just what is on top of my mind while watching TV lol (♤)

Anonymous said:(♤) oh ps. except for that whole controversial stuff with that misogynist jpn songwriter and supreme boy and what not. I take that seriously , I wont act as if that's just a cute quirk. but they're men so I didn't expect much lmaoo. I knew that those kind of disappointments are just part of the deal ever since I learned that jimin (a whole cutie pie and my ultimate bias) stans chris brown. definitely would kick jm in the shin for that if I ever got to meet him. at least keep it to yourself lol.

haha i wish you didn’t start this with a backhanded compliment but dkajsd yeah overall i see your point and agree... i understand like if you didn’t buy into that whole spiel, then of course you can just keep on going and stanning them as idols and all that comes with that, but many people and me included sincerely thought that they were different, i have stopped stanning kpop groups for a while and got drawn back in with bts because i felt they were so fresh and unique, genuine and open with fans in comparison to other groups i have stanned.. but ofc that image crumbled as time went on.. things have changed as well... and i agree, it’s fine to enjoy it for just the entertainment and like the boys as people, accepting they are just as any other idol.. and maybe i will continue with that perspective myself!! but i honestly find it difficult having believed in it and also bighit continually selling this image to their fans despite evidence of the contrary, i can deal with idol business but like continually being blatantly lied to and then being in a fandom where most of the rhetoric is build around blindly believing it and eating anything the boys and bighit sells? it’s honestly emotionally exhausting sometimes.. but yeah.. you’re honestly right.. even with the last point lol... they are men, and korean men at that sigh.. that’s why i’m burying myself in girl groups nowadays adkjsd to heal my soul

Anonymous said:Hope you have a wonderful day filled with only good things ❤ - the cutest person in the world

thank you so so so so much! you have a wonderful day too ♥ cutie

Anonymous said:simple question, not loaded at all, no wrong answer, the honest answer is the right answer- yaddah yaddah you get it -what do you think bangtan is lying about and what exactly are you saying overall? i just need the language simplified for my 3 braincells :) if i do get what you're saying - whether the actual members of bts are real or not, their message is. "dont let anyone tell you what to do" "live your own life and not a borrowed dream" "life is a marathon, not a race - go your own pace"etc

you can read this post as well as the tags to it to see some of the examples, i mean i have been saying lots of things so i don’t know what exactly you want me to clarify? i think their message is compromised when their actions contradict it, whether it’s their actions or bighit’s is up to debate, like i was talking about in the post though, you can’t have things both ways, can’t hail the boys as woke independent kings while propagating the idea that they are just the company’s pawns at the same time, if you accept their authenticity isn’t there then ofc it’s a different argument, and the things you have listed there may be true, but isn’t is soured knowing they are just things that are said in order to sell bangtan as a product to you? to me they are

Anonymous said:I'm not gonna disagree but I like to see all the sides of a story. Bang pd is their boss, bts made a contract with him, he will ALWAYS have the last word on, well, everything they put out. We like to think that bc bts has creative freedom they can do whatever they want, well obviously they can't. Even if bts wanted to talk more about issues and not work w bad ppl, bang pd wants them to succeed, he wants to make money bc it's his business and bts is the only thing bringing money to it.

i get this argument a lot and to that i will answer again this and this, i don’t understand what your point is exactly though, so you are saying bts are pawns that have to do as they ceo says, yes and? i am criticizing the decision he has made? i’m criticizing that what he cares about the most is money? that he will stop at nothing to widen his wealth and influence? i will not support bts cooperating with vile people just because it wasn’t -completely their decision-, i’m sorry i’m really struggling to see what your point is about the other side of the story, it’s a shitty situation and if they all go through with it, it be greatly disappointing

[callistawolf]

my thoughts on Arrow 6x18

I was excited for this episode and it turns out there was good reason. I might just start trusting Steve when he gets hyped over episodes now, he’s building quite a track record. So let’s dive in. I literally took these notes while I was watching so I apologize if they’re a bit scattered. 

Okay, Oliver is clearly off the rails. S1-2 suit and all. The man is a wrecking ball.

Wait…where’d he get the old suit? Did he break into evidence lockup? Is that why he’s at the precinct? I HAVE QUESTIONS.

Wait, the lockup didn’t blow up when Siren blew up the previous place did it? I HAVE QUESTIONS, DAMMIT.

Ten hours earlier. Okay. So we learn why he’s nuts. Is it the Vertigo? I bet it the Vertigo.

If anyone can find rock solid proof of crooked city employees, its Felicity.

BAD COP CASTLE. LOL. Felicity is right. He can’t go in alone. Cuz that’s just INSANE.

LOLOLOL. “I parent trapped you” BLESS YOU FELICITY. Yes, boys, get over your damn egos already.

“You keep that attitude you’re gonna end up all alone” LISTEN, don’t feed this boy’s fears, Dig!

Felicity KNOWS that Oliver is trying, DIGGLE. C’mon, man. FEEDING HIS FEARS. Stoppit!

“If I get impeached, you get promoted” OH SHIT, yeah if Oliver is impeached, Quentin is DEAD. You know what happens to mayors who aren’t Oliver in this town.

God bless Quentin being on his side. Saying all these nice things... Oh yeah the man is dead.

SHE HACKED NAPSTER FOR HER SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT LOL

RAISA AND FELICITY INTERACTED. There is a god! It’s been 84 years!

See I told y’all Felicity would have proof. Oh… but its implicating him. WAIT. STOP YELLING AT YOUR WIFE FOR HELPING YOU. Duuuuude.

Oh this scene. Yeah, he’s totally hallucinating this. 

The best part is that the writers have done such a MASTER JOB of writing characters OOC this season that we honestly can’t tell if Oliver is hallucinating or if this is something Felicity is REALLY saying

That said we SAW the Vertigo last ep folks. This isn’t rocket science.

What is that tapping noise he keeps hearing? Is that the Vertigo? The heralding of a hallucination?

“My wife wants a separation” DONT MAKE ME SOB, OLIVER. Also she so doesn’t. It’s so sad that he believes this, he EXPECTED this.

I find it touching that he chooses Quentin to confide in here. His subconscious is kinda beautiful sometimes. 

So he thinks he hasn’t changed at all? Or he doesn’t. Cuz Quentin is pep talking him but its HIM thinking this up… SHE LOVES YOU. YES SHE DOES. LISTEN TO YOUR FUCKED UP BRAIN, MAN. 

Going to the council meeting hopped up on Vertigo seems a bad idea. So is this a hallucination? Or not? HELP. I HAVE CONFUSION.

THERES THAT NOISE AGAIN

YEAH PROMETHEUS!! But… Oliver… SEE. HE’S DEAD. Get a clue here.

Damn Oliver’s subconscious is kicking his ass. LOL this is such a metaphor. I can’t deal.

So he kills Chase in his subconscious, something he’d evolved past before. But he wants to protect his family. LORD, Oliver you are fucked up.

THERES THAT NOISE AGAIN. Duuuuude I’m starting to wonder if *I’m* losing it. And Adrian. OK, Ollie. This is your clue here that you’re on Vertigo.

DING DING DING give the boy a cookie!

Chase trolling him is classic. I missed this guy so much. (And dude, you couldn’t manage to take ANYONE from him… Sam so doesn’t count)

I have to keep reminding myself this is Oliver’s subconscious.

“Felicity, William and I will be fine.” Of course you will. You’re family.

Interesting… “you’re a better Oliver Queen. But a worse hero.” HERE is the base of his worries. “You’re the one enemy you can’t defeat” Damn your brain is clever, Oliver. But also wrong. STOP HATING YOURSELF.

I MISS THE QUEEN MANSION. This living room isn’t QUITE right though. And fuckouttahere LL.You don’t even look REMOTELY like pre-island LL.

I love Chase literally listing all the reasons LL as BC was a Dumb Thing. 

So this is just convincing him he has to do go alone. If people fight with him, they get hurt. They die. Sometimes I think his protective instinct is too strong.

Awww hallucinating Raisa being killed by Dragon… that’s rough. Let’s not go there, show, okay?

SEE yes he wants to do it alone. Don’t listen to Vertigo!Hood, Oliver. The man is off his nut.

For a second there I thought Quentin said “We need to retweet” and I didn’t even think that was an off thing to say. I NEED A NAP.

Okay so the s1-2 suit itself is a hallucination. And it symbolizes his need to do it alone. GOTCHA. I’m all caught up now. Very clever.

Awww cute Felicity and William! She helped him put his project back together. But ohhhh no, she knows Oliver gone of the rails. “He said you kicked him out?” “No! I would never!” I KNEW IT.

LOL at William knowing exactly what Felicity is up to and bringing her sneakers. And holy cow he IS as tall as she is now!

OH NO DID YOU JUST HIT QUENTIN. I HOPE THAT WAS A HALLUCINATION.

RUN FELICITY RUN. Hey, that’s the backlot of the studios. LOL. Oh it WAS QUENTIN, not a hallucination. Oliver, you’re in big trouble.

She’s very brave, going after him when he’s like this. And awww at her talking him down. “What happens to William?” “William has you.” “What happens to ME?” BLESS.

“I’m glue, baby.” SHE CALLED HIM BABY. IM DYING.

Yes, listen to your wife. She’s your life partner. You can’t get rid of her. “Listen to your heart.” AWWW THIS IS SO SWEET.

YAY OLICITY STUNT! ITS BEEN 84 YEARS. Yep, I’m watching this whole thing again tomorrow (today, when this is posted)

Felicity went to raves. Felicity did drugs. ITS CANON. WRITE THE FICS, FANDOM. FELICITY MEETS OLIVER AT A RAVE.

So the suit is REAL? I have my questions again!! WHERE DID IT COME FROM.

I don’t like him going alone, but I DO like him saying that he’s not giving up on Felicity and William.

WELP there we go. Impeached. Saw that coming. Buncha boogers. Quentin is mayor! He’s toast.

Firing Overwatch. AWW. I mean I get why he’s doing it but… fighting Diaz alone is the opposite of what he needs to do. But I’m glad he’s apologizing to William.

AWW Felicity and William are most important to him! More than ANYTHING. I love this family.

Siren wants Diaz to kill Oliver… hows that redemption working for y’all? I can’t believe loliver is less toxic than Siren/Oliver. 😂

Okay, I have some more thoughts, especially now that I’ve had all night to think about this. So I’m throwing in a cut. 

While I’m not fond of Oliver choosing to go alone, I get why he’s doing it. It’s a plot point they’ve been angling towards, to be sure. But also I think they outlined why in this episode. Because what Dig said to him about being a poor leader has gotten to him and he really is wondering if it’s true. Things are piling up and what is falling by the wayside? What can he let fall by the wayside? One thing was made clear in this episode, what he cannot let fail is his family. Felicity, William... they are his priority above pretty much everything. He needs to save the city, absolutely, but not at the cost of his family. Oliver sees going alone as a way to save his family. Now, he’s wrong, of course. 

Remember all those interviews that have hinted at Oliver learning how to ask for help? How Emily herself has mentioned that? I think thats the big lesson here. He’s having a hard time juggling all his responsibilities, which means he has to learn how to relinquish control to others, to trust them to help him, to trust them to do what needs to be done to help him, to help the city. I’m willing to wager that in the weeks ahead, given what we’ve learned about the final eps of the season, the court case and all of that... that Felicity might be instrumental in organizing some help for Oliver. I think she might be the one to call in Human Target. But we shall see. 

But something else... Diaz wanted Oliver to fall for the trap but Felicity thwarted that. Felicity said that their identities are safe but LOL... There’s zero chance that Diaz won’t find out that she’s the one, the ONLY ONE who can pull Oliver back. So what happens to Felicity when Diaz realizes she the barrier between him and what he wants? 

What’s important here is that Oliver will do whatever he has to save his family, to keep William and Felicity safe. I think Felicity focuses on her company next week because she has to help, the mission is a part of her now, but I think eventually she’s going to push her way back onto Oliver’s team. Because he needs her. And maybe she’ll bring the rest of the team back together. But that’s all *~*later*~* because for now, things are gonna start getting sooooo very real in the weeks ahead and I’m really really really ready for it. 

[lestvt]

Tagging Game

Tagged by @princelesthottie​ :)))))

How tall are you? 5′6′’

What color are your eyes? blue (with hints of green) 

Do you wear glasses/contacts? nope

Do you wear Braces? when i was 11-13. i also have a permanent brace on the inside of my bottom front teeth

Whats your fashion style? im a goth boy/girl piece of shit so... black and lace and fishnets and velvet and w/e, ya know?? but also every variation of goth you can think of, i have an outfit for - 90′s goth, pastel goth, gothic lolita, casual goth, etc., it’s a work in progress...  

When were you born? a long, long time ago in a distant land (chicago, 1995)

Do you have siblings? i have two older brothers and an older sister, who are 37, 35, and 25 respectively  

What kind of student were/are you? i mean i always got straight A’s, and i was a total teacher’s pet/overachiever. when i was younger i was in every club i could think of - student council, book club, show choir, etc. high school i spent mostly in the hospital, so there’s that... but i’ve been in college for a few years now and i’ve only ever gotten 1 B alongside my many A’s, which is nice. not that school really has anything to do with intelligence, but i consider myself a well-read person at the very least      

What were/are your favorite subjects? english/writing, history, and now anthropology  

Favorite movies? alien, jurassic park, star wars, interview with the vampire, kill bill, the lotr movies, etc. 

Favorite pastimes? writing/reading mostly, also drawing, writing music, dancing, watching youtube (funhaus, polygon, sugar pine 7, game grumps, mr. sark, etc.), listening to podcasts (dude soup, mbmbam, h3h3′s podcast, and various d&d podcasts), being mean to my friends, etc.    

What’s your dream job? i’m studying archaeology currently (i just changed my major...), and i plan to teach it, but my REAL dream is to be an author, which, considering how much i write, seems pretty plausible. also i think i’d make a pretty sick comedian ;))) 

Would you like to get married? i dont believe in marriage. marriage is an institution, marriage is like slavery.... and in this day and age its pointless if not for the tax breaks it affords you. so, no.   

Do you want kids? not really, i’m a very selfish person with little to no patience for raising a child. maybe i’ll change my mind in the distant future, but currently i’d rather dig out my own reproductive organs through my bellybutton with a spoon, thanks very much 

How many countries have you visited? i’ve never left the USA, but i’ve been all over the country. my mom loves to travel and has been taking me on trips since i was an infant. 

Scariest dream? i used to have a lot of reoccuring nightmares about school - usually that i’d be lost in the building and miss class, or that i couldnt find a way out and was trapped inside. but since college those dreams have kind of dissipated, and now i often dream of moving into a big, haunted mansion of sorts. but those aren’t usually nightmares, just interesting manifestations of my every day stress and fear of change. 

but in october of 2017 i had a really vivid, really disturbing dream in which i died and went to purgatory, which took the form of a small community of people being hunted by “monsters.” it was so detailed and lovecraftian that i wrote the whole thing down as soon as i woke up and decided to make a novel out of it. (this isn’t really important, but i also want to mention that in the dream i wasn’t myself, i was louis... and lestat was there, which was weird, but i omitted that part for the sake of making it an original story)   

Significant other? /looks into a mirror, “hey babe”

First 15 on your playlist without skipping:

1. Scary Love - The Neighborhood 

2. Don’t Delete the Kisses - Wolf Alice

3. Your Song (Cover) - Lady Gaga

4. Say Amen (Saturday Night) - Panic! At the Disco

5. Chocolate - The 1975

6. Saturday Sun - Vance Joy

7. American Money - BORNS 

8. Nights In White Satin - The Moody Blues

9. Blue - Marina & the Diamonds 

10. Waste A Moment - Kings of Leon 

11. Perfect Skin - Peace

12. Could’ve Been Me - The Struts 

13. Get Out - CHVRCHES  

14. Wolves - Selena Gomez, Marshmello  

15. I Don’t Want U Back - BORNS 

Tagging: no one cuz im an anti-social jerk, as always 

[womenofcolor15]

LeBron James, Teammate Malcolm Jenkins & More CHECK Drew Brees Over Protest Comments & Still Mentioning ‘Disrespecting The Flag’

LeBron James, Malcolm Jenkins, Richard Sherman and several more athletes are condemning NFL QB Drew Brees over comments he made about Colin Kaepernick’s National Anthem protest. He said he will never agree with someone “disrespecting the flag,” totally missing the whole point of the peaceful protest launched years ago. Peep the outraged reactions - some from his own teammates - inside…

  If he doesn’t agree or see the reason why people are pissed off, then why the hell did drew brees kneel 3 years ago pic.twitter.com/K5Xw3Qp4Ba

— edwardo #blacklivesmatter (@greycartoons) June 3, 2020

  Drew Brees STILL doesn’t get it. Or, he gets it and still doesn’t give a damn.

The New Orleans Saints quarterback – who the league touts as their poster boy – emphasized his stance on how he feels about Colin Kaepernick’s peaceful protest he launched in 2016. Kaepernick took a knee during the National Anthem before the first game of the season to protest police brutality. That's it! Kneeling has NEVER been about the flag! Ever. And Kaepernick has explained this NUMEROUS times.

During an interview with Yahoo Finance, he was asked his thoughts about "players kneeling again when the NFL season starts” in response to the killing of George Floyd.  

”I will never agree with anybody disrespecting the flag of the United States of America or our country,” he responded. “Let me just tell you what I see or what I feel when the national anthem is played or when I look at the flag of the United States. I envision my two grandfathers who fought for this country during World War II. One in the Army and one in the Marine corps both risking their lives to protect our country and to try to make our country and this world a better place.”

He continued:

”So every time I stand with my hand over my heart, looking at that flag and singing the national anthem, that's what I think about. And in many cases, it brings me to tears thinking about all those who have sacrificed -- not just those in the military, but for that matter, those fought in the '60s and all that has been endured by so many people up until this point."

"Is everything right with our country right now? No, it's not. We still have a long way to go. But I think what you do by standing there and showing respect to the flag with your hand over your heart is it shows unity. It shows we are all in this together, we can all do better and that we are all part of the solution."

Peep the clip below:

Highlight: @readdanwrite asks @drewbrees what the star NFL quarterback thinks about "players kneeling again when the NFL season starts."@drewbrees: “I will never agree with anybody disrespecting the flag of the United States of America or our country.”

Full exchange: pic.twitter.com/MpCkFyOMed

— Yahoo Finance (@YahooFinance) June 3, 2020

The fact he intentionally chose to not even acknowledge the death of George Foyd or any unarmed black person at the hands of racist cops or racism in general, says everything that one needs to know.  It also says plenty that he still is determined to co-opt the arrative about why Colin Kaepernick knelt during the anthem.  He has said countless times this has nothing to do with the flag, and other military professionals - both active and veterans & both black and white - have said they support Colin's actions and in no way take offense.  They have said this is exactly why they fought for the USA, to defend Colin's right to do exactly what he was doing.   

Drew Brees then posted this message of "unity" on his Instagram account:

        View this post on Instagram

                  Words to unite.. A mentor of mine once told me that if you listen closely, the sound of children playing is the same no matter where you are in the world. The laughing, shouting, screaming, giggling… No matter what language you speak, no matter what your race, color, religion… the exact same.  At some point we all change… The reasons… Our environment, experiences, education...The voices and influences around us.  If you are reading this, you are probably one of those whose voice and influence is very powerful in the life of a young person. So when you ask what difference you can make in this world… It’s exactly that. Raise, teach, but most importantly model to young people what it is to love all and respect all. There is a saying in every locker room I have been in… Don’t just talk about it, be about it.  Acknowledge the problem, and accept the fact that we all have a responsibility to make it better. “Your actions speak so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying”

A post shared by Drew Brees (@drewbrees) on Jun 3, 2020 at 6:47am PDT

Again, the kumbaya statement that is just performative, but not actually saying anything except for an empty call to unity.  Why call for unity if you can't point out why we are not unified in the first place?

Below is a picture of Drew with his wife, Trump and Melania:

Hmph.

Drew Brees’ comments sparked outrage in the sports world, which resulted in several athletes checking him for his ridiculous comments.

Los Angeles Lakers baller LeBron James criticized the Saints QB for MISSING the point of Kaepernick’s protest, which has been explained in depth countless times over the years.

WOW MAN!! . Is it still surprising at this point. Sure isn’t! You literally still don’t understand why Kap was kneeling on one knee?? Has absolute nothing to do with the disrespect of and our soldiers (men and women) who keep our land free. My father-in-law was one of those https://t.co/pvUWPmh4s8

— LeBron James (@KingJames) June 3, 2020

"WOW MAN!! Is it still surprising at this point. Sure isn’t! You literally still don’t understand why Kap was kneeling on one knee?? Has absolute nothing to do with the disrespect of [U.S. flag emoji] and our soldiers (men and women) who keep our land free. My father-in-law was one of those," King James tweeted.

men who fought as well for this country. I asked him question about it and thank him all the time for his commitement. He never found Kap peaceful protest offensive because he and I both know what’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong! God bless you.

— LeBron James (@KingJames) June 3, 2020

"Men who fought as well for this country. I asked him question about it and thank him all the time for his commitment. He never found Kap peaceful protest offensive because he and I both know what’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong! God bless you," LeBron continued.

Some of Drew's teammates called him out as well....

Saints safety Malcolm Jenkins (who joined Kaepernick's peaceful protest when it first launched) BLASTED Drew in an Instagram video: "I considered you a friend, I looked up to you, you're someone I had a great deal of respect for, but sometimes you should shut the f**k up."

        View this post on Instagram

                  As I was trying to muster up the energy and find the words to address Drew Brees’s comments I recorded this video. Before I could post it, Drew reached out to me to discuss his point of view. All in all, I’m still posting this video because it’s important for anyone who wants to consider themself an ally to know how these words and actions affect those who you want to help. Drew’s words during his interview were extremely painful to hear and I hope he rectifies them with real action.

A post shared by Malcolm Jenkins (@malcolmjenkins27) on Jun 3, 2020 at 2:42pm PDT

Saints wide receiver Michael Thomas posted a "sick" emoji in response to a reporter's tweet that read, "How can anyone watch George Floyd get murdered and their first response when asked about it is ResPEcC tHe fLAg."

Mike also tweeted, "He don't know no better," referring to Drew.

He don’t know no better.

— Michael Thomas (@Cantguardmike) June 3, 2020

And this: "We don’t care if you don’t agree and whoever else how about that."

Check it:

  We are literally TELLING him. Yeah, YOUR grandfather came back from the war and was treated equally. MY grandfather sat in the back of buses after he fought.

NO MORE ENERGY IN EXPLAINING TO THOSE WHO DONT CARE!

— Freaux Deaux (@neorevolut1on) June 3, 2020

  Saints running back Alvin Kamara posted a tweet that didn't mention Drew's name, but his one-word reaction was clearly a response to his comments:

oop...

— Alvin Kamara (@A_kamara6) June 3, 2020

49ers cornerback Richard Sherman served up a mini history lesson as he responded to Drews' comments:

He’s beyond lost. Guarantee you there were black men fighting along side your grandfather but this doesn’t seem to be about that. That uncomfortable conversation you are trying to avoid by injecting military into a conversation about brutality and equality is part of the problem https://t.co/ON81UsOWPw pic.twitter.com/HH3EVTIH8p

— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) June 3, 2020

"He’s beyond lost. Guarantee you there were black men fighting along side your grandfather but this doesn’t seem to be about that. That uncomfortable conversation you are trying to avoid by injecting military into a conversation about brutality and equality is part of the problem," he tweeted.

Philadelphia Eagles cornerback Darius Slay responded to Drew's comments:

Damn drew hurt me with that one !!

— Darius Slay (@bigplay24slay) June 3, 2020

"Damn, Drew hurt me with that one!!," he tweeted.

Las Vegas Raiders running back Josh Jacobs retweeted the interview and in the caption he posted a facepalm emoji with the words, "This ain't it."

.... This ain’t it https://t.co/XOew9MW6gu

— Josh Jacobs (@iAM_JoshJacobs) June 3, 2020

Drew Brees' comments said NOTHING to acknowledge the pain, strife and injustice the black community faces, despite leading a team full of black men every season. He only stated why he is against kneeling - a peaceful protest - during the National Anthem, despite this argument being had ad nauseam with several military - both active and veterans. Those military professionals have made it known Colin Kaepernick’s protest is exactly why they fight/fought for our freedoms and it’s not disrespectful to them.

  i could type a long text about how kneeling during the anthem was never about “disrespecting the flag” but ima just say fuck drew brees & the NFL too. they ain’t wit us.

— black (@6LACK) June 3, 2020

  Why can't people like Drew Brees understand this? Short answer? Well, you KNOW the answer.

Meanwhile, here's Dak Prescott, Dallas Cowboys star QB, speaking about the issues at hand head on:

        View this post on Instagram

                      A post shared by Dak Prescott (@_4dak) on Jun 3, 2020 at 8:34am PDT

  Photo: Getty

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/06/03/lebron-james-malcolm-jenkins-more-athletes-check-drew-brees-over-national-anthem-protes-0