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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 5 years

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Michael in the Mainstream: Epic Rap Battles of History

In September of 2010, a series began that would spend the decade growing, expanding, improving, and even attracting controversy: Epic Rap Battles of History. The concept is simple - take two characters from history or pop culture and have them get into a rap battle where every single line is loaded with clever allusions to the participants. From there, it can go in really any direction - rappers can jump into the middle of a battle, rappers can team up, battles can be heavily skewed in one direction… there’s a lot of variance.

Watching the series grow into something as impressive and well-done as it is nowadays has been quite an experience. The first battle, “John Lennon vs Bill O’Reilly,” is honestly pretty bad by today’s standards, with a weak beat, poor costumes, bad impressions, and just a general lack of polish. But it did have something to it, something that would come to light as more and more episodes were released - Peter Shukoff and Lloyd Ahlquist really had a knack for rapping. I think the best part of the series over the past ten years is watching them go from the green rappers in that original video to incredibly talented and clever writers, singers, and actors, delivering stellar performances left and right in the more recent seasons.

With their first decade behind them, I’ve decided to go season by season and look at what worked and what didn’t as the show grew and evolved. I give an overview of each season, talk about some of the strengths and weaknesses they exhibited, and then go over the best and worst characters and battles of each season.

So, as the announcer says at the end of every intro... BEGIN!!!

Season 1

It’s hard to totally hate this season, but boy is it hard to love it. This was their first season, and their first batch of battles, so I think a little leeway needs to be given here; it’s clear they’re trying to find their footing and see what works and what doesn’t in terms of matchup and characterization. This leads to a lot of the battles of season one feeling really weird in hindsight, with the infamous “Genghis Khan vs The Easter Bunny” being the most standout example.

However, that’s just the most notable bit of wonkiness; there are plenty more decisions and matchups that really seem baffling in hindsight. One of the biggest ones is when Peter portrayed Lady Gaga in a rap battle against Sarah Palin of all people. This leads to a lot of the jokes Palin lobs being a bit more uncomfortable than they would have been if a woman played Gaga; this is notably the only time a female character has been portrayed by a man to this date.

Beyond that some of the matchups are just really nonsensical or rely too much on outdated memes. The worst offender in both regards is probably “Abraham Lincoln vs Chuck Norris,” which features Peter delivering one of his greatest performances in the series as Lincoln against a Lloyd-portrayed Norris who does nothing but spout “Chuck Norris Facts” thst we’re tired and unfunny even back in 2010. Likewise, Vince Offer popping up as backup for Billy Mays is pretty of-the-time, but that battle is actually good so it gets a pass.

Still, there are a lot more battles that do work or at least show a lot of promise. Look no further than the second battle in the series and the one that put them on the map, “Adolf Hitler vs Darth Vader.” While it’s a bit basic lyrically and not quite up to the later standards of the series, it’s easy to see why this became as big as it did. Zack Sherwin and George Watsky get their first guest spots here as Einstein and Shakespeare respectively, and both of them kill it in their roles, with the former even being part of one of the season’s best battles. It’s definitely easy to see why these two are the most reoccurring guest stars in the series.

Ultimately, season one is uneven and experimental, but shows a lot of promise. I think the datedness of some of the battles, particularly in regards to the ones featuring characters like Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga; using these two in particular so early in their careers really robbed us, particularly in the case of Bieber, whose decade-long downward spiral would have made for some really interesting disses. Then there are characters like Mr. Rogers and Genghis Khan, who are just wasted on completely mismatched opponents. There is good stuff here, but it lacks the polish later battles would have, making it hard to recommend revisiting this one. I’d say that with a few notable exceptions, you can safely skip this season.

Best Battle: “Albert Einstein vs Stephen Hawking” is probably the best battle of the sesaon; while the original Hitler/Vader battle is iconic, this one was one of the more clever early battles and if nothing else gave us the first Zach Sherwin performance and an awesome and faithful rendition of Hawking.

Worst Battle: “Genghis Khan vs the Easter Bunny.” As if it could be anything else.

Best Characters:

Lloyd: Abe Lincoln, despite being in one of the weaker battles of the season, immediately cemented himself as one of Peter’s best characters, and it definitely helps he has some pretty hard and creative disses, particularly his line involving Chuck Norris crying his cancer-curing tears on his filmography. It’s no wonder Lincoln is the only president who keeps coming back.

Peter: Darth Vader became one of the most iconic characters in the first few seasons for a reason, and despite his weaker lines here than in his sequels, he still manages to be as cool and intimidating as Darth Vader in a rap battle should be.

Guest: Albert Einstein was Zach Sherwin’s first appearance in the series, and what a first appearance it is! It really isn’t a shock he has been invited back time and time again, as he is an absolute blast in this battle.

Worst Characters:

Lloyd: Chuck Norris is the clear loser in terms of Lloyd’s characters this season. He’s nothing but a string of tired memes, and offers no insight into Norris at all. Frankly it would have been nice if they ripped into Norris harder, seeing as he’s a right-winger, homophobe, and Trump supporter. Portraying him as some cool, unstoppable force really leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Peter: Lady Gaga, hands down, and it’s not that hard a decision. She was portrayed terribly and it really is a shame they didn’t wait until later in her career to use her, because there is so much more interesting things to say about her now than back when they made the rap battle and the most interesting things to riff on were the stupid rumors that she was a hermaphrodite and her weird outfits.

Guest: Alex Farnham’s Justin Bieber is whiny, obnoxious, gets few good lines, and is more than a little mean-spirited; keep in mind, this was made early in Bieber’s career, when his only crime was being a kid with a music career who made songs some people hated. It just seems cruel, and considering how he would turn out a few years later, a world of missed opportunity… but that’s par for the course for season one.

Season 2

Season two was the proverbial “growing the beard” moment for the series. Coming out a month after season one, the new episodes already seemed bigger and more polished, starting off strong with a rematch between Hitler and Vader more epic than the original. Things continued solidly until the season peaked with the masterpiece that is “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates.” That battle was a huge game changer, and took the series to new heights, heights the rest of the season after struggled to meet.

The big problem is that about half of the battles post-“Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates” are incredibly forgettable or even bad. “Doc Brown vs Doctor Who” is on the forgettable side, as is the first-ever election battle, which pitted Obama up against Mitt Romney. Romney alone should tell you why this battle is so forgettable; it’s a battle you really had to be there in the moment for, and is frankly a good argument as to why election battles should not be done. It’s not awful by any means, but it really isn’t memorable or relevant.

On the bad side, we have “Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury,” “Batman Vs Sherlock Holmes,” and the infamous “Adam vs Eve.” The former two mostly suffer from awful characterization, with Sinatra being set up in the same way Justin Bieber was to be the clear loser. There’s nothing wrong with a curbstomp rap battle obviously, but considering how Sinatra is NOT a reviled figure like Bieber, this one goes over very poorly. Batman on the other hand mainly suffers from being horribly characterized and having extremely repetitive verses, with both his verses basically reiterating the same points. Neither battle is godawful, but they don’t really make good cases for themselves.

Then there is “Adam vs Eve.” This battle is widely regarded as the worst battle of not only the season, but THE ENTIRE SERIES. There is a very good reason for that: this battle is a massive departure from the style and tone of the series. Adam and Eve here represent stereotypical sitcom man and woman; there are very few Biblical references and the whole thing is very one-sided in Eve’s favor, with the battle basically ending with Adam apologizing for calling Eve a bitch… after she spent the past few minutes insulting his sexual prowess and penis size. There are a lot of double standards here, and it would only have been worse if God’s planned cameo was kept in, where he unambiguously sides with Eve.

But let’s not pretend like these are more than exceptions that prove the rule. Season two is remarkably solid, to the point where some battles have aged far better than you would expect. The prime example of this is “Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe;” at the time derided by audiences as just a battle consisting of nothing but slut-shaming, looking back it is a very strong yet lighthearted entry between two incredibly intense battles that has a great beat, clever lines, and strong performances from the two ladies. There are a couple of other underrated gems of the season but this one takes the cake.

The season is notable for a lot of big firsts. This is the first season to nab mainstream celebrities as guests, getting Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele, and Snoop Dogg himself to portray Gandhi, MLK, and Moses, respectively. Unsurprisingly the battles featuring them are some of the very best of the season. It’s also the first season with a woman vs woman battle where both characters are portrayed by women, to much better results than the previous one. It’s the first season to have a two-on-two battle, with the second battle of the season featuring the Mario Bros battling the Wright brothers.

The biggest first however was the new style introduced in the finale: the Royale. This style of battle is basically a one on one to start, with each rapper getting one verse and then after the second rapper’s verse a third party barged in to school them, followed by a fourth and then a fifth. This first one featured famous figures from Russian history: Rasputin, Stalin, Lenin, Gorbachev, and Putin, and it is fun and hilarious, though Putin’s portrayal is definitely a product of its time and clearly made before people realized how evil he is.

This season also has some notable missed opportunities unique to it. The first is that there is a whole scrapped battle that was even teased in the trailer for season two, which would have had Hillary Clinton rapping against King Henry VIII. Peter and Lloyd were disappointed with how the audio came out and so permanently shelved it, though the audio is available online. It would have been interesting to see how it would have turned out, though the audio does not paint the best picture and the battle likely would have been forgettable. Still, it would have been interesting to have both parties in the 2016 election battle be returning rappers.

The second is that, to date, season two is the only season to use video game characters, with Mario, Luigi, and Master Chief being the sole representatives of the art form. This gets weirder with every passing year, as video games continue to become more mainstream and characters like Solid Snake, Samus, Phoenix Wright, Lara Croft, and Kratos continue to be popular suggestions for battles. It just feels like a lot of opportunities are being missed, though there’s always hope now that fans have more say than ever.

Overall, season two was a big, confident stride forward for the series. While there are a few stingers and forgettable battles here and there, the majority live up to the title of the series. I’d say that, moreso than season one, this is a great starting point for the series, This season marks the beginning of what I’d like to call the Golden Age, and I would say there are very few episodes here you should skip.

Best Battle: “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates,” which is not as easy a decision as it seems considering the quality of the season overall. Still, this one probably holds up the best out of all of the episodes, with the rhymes, flow, disses, and beat all being legendary and the surprise interjection from HAL 9000 being nothing short of awesome.

Worst Battle: “Adam vs Eve,” which again, is probably also the worst battle of the entire series.

Best Character:

Lloyd: Gorbachev is the winner here. He’s just a funny, goofy ditz of a Russian leader, and he definitely schools all of the other arguing Russians. His beat is unique and a lot of fun, which definitely helps him stand out even more.

Peter: Peter has a lot of great roles this season, but it’s hard to not give the win to Santa, because Peter was able to hold his own against SNOOP DOGG. Speaking of which...

Guest: Snoop Dogg’s Moses is the standout in a season with no shortage of cool guests. I mean, come on, it’s Snoop

Worst Character:

Lloyd: Adam, hands down, and keep in mind Lloyd also played the now-irrelevant Mitt Romney this season. Adam sucked so bad a bland politician outdid him.

Peter: I’m not sure who told Peter to play Batman like that, but… yeah. Batman sucks here. I hope they bring him back and do him justice someday.

Guest: Jenna Marbles is completely wasted as Eve.

Season 3

Out of the three Golden Age seasons (2 - 4), I think season three is the most uneven and messy. While there are obviously some great battles here - it is part of the Golden Age after all - there are a lot of bad and awkward battles, or at the very least there aren’t as many great battles to make the bad ones seem less egregious. The tone is set by the season opener, the third and final battle between Hitler and Vader which despite a cool Boba Fett cameo ends up feeling underwhelming and boring.

The real issue with this season is that, while there aren’t too many genuinely bad battles this season, even the good ones feel a bit off. For the bad, we have “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc,” which wastes one of history’s most badass woman against a flash-in-the-pan pop star; this battle has very few defenders, and gave woman back woman rap battles even more (undeserved) flack. To the season’s credit it doesn’t really get worse, and the only other weak battles are “George Washington vs William Wallace” (which not only conflates the fictionalized version of Wallace from Braveheart with the real one, but makes George Washington way more boring than he should be) and “Rick Grimes vs Walter White” (which feels like a ratings grab riding off of the coattails of two popular shows, though Lloyd really kills it as Walt).

For the good ones, a lot are held back from the lofty greatness of season two’s best by disappointing flaws. “Superman vs Goku” is fun and performs the miracle of making Ray William Johnson cool for two minutes, but it just feels way too short, especially considering the massive histories of the characters. The finale has a similar issue with shortness; “Artists vs Turtles” pits the TMNT against their namesakes, and the first verse and beat are fantastic, but the turtles get absolutely shafted on lyrics and the whole battle comes off as feeling uneven. This wouldn’t be so bad if this wasn’t a four-on-Four battle. “Stephen King vs Edgar Allen Poe” is so close to being great, as it has fantastic lyrics and a great Watsky performance, but Zach Sherwin chose a weird, raspy voice for King that brings the battle down a bit. It’s kind of sad that a battle between ERB’s two most popular guests is hampered by such an odd choice.

Still, when the season is great, it is GREAT. Key and Peele return, this time playing MICHAEL Jordan and Muhammed Ali respectively, and they kill it. Weird Al shows up playing Isaac Newton and, as expected, is amazing in his battle against Bill Nye. And the series introduces a new, very interesting type of rap battle - the story battle/gauntlet battle. Basically, there is one consistent rapper, and they rap against multiple opponents in succession, usually with some sort of storyline. And what better story to turn into a rap battle than A Christmas Carol? Scrooge goes up against Donald Trump, J.P. Morgan, Kanye West, and the Grim Reaper to learn the true meaning of Christmas, and it’s every bit as awesome as it sounds.

Season three is definitely a good season, and the weaker battles are still worth a listen even if they do have some issues; the only one I’d say is unlistenably bad is “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc” due to how offensive the wasting of Joan is. I feel like people listening to this season will have wildly different opinions on which battles are good, bad, and great, so even if it feels a bit wonky there’s no denying it’s worth a listen.

Best Battle: “Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge” is a real game changer, and is not only fantastic, but as its only use of profanity is censored you can reasonably play this at a holiday party! If you ever need your quick fix of the Dickens classic, this is the way to get it, as this is remarkably faithful and very good at condensing the story into a rap battle.

Worst Battle: “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc” is just absolutely unforgivable; Joan deserved a more fitting opponent than Cyrus. Katniss was often a suggested opponent, but I feel like even that would be bad, as Katniss has faded from the cultural consciousness over time unlike someone like Harry Potter. Still, Joan deserved way better than to be wasted for some throwaway curbstomp battle.

Best Characters:

Lloyd: Lloyd shows how good it feels to be a gangster with his portrayal of Al Capone, which manages to elevate the battle a bit higher despite the rather cheesy (but not bad) portrayal of Blackbeard opposite him.

Peter: Death, the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, is utterly chilling, devoid of humor, and delivers one of the most legitimately terrifying verses in the series. This is why this ghost doesn’t usually get to speak in adaptations - because not only is he utterly terrifying, he steals the whole show. Peter really killed it with this one.

Guest: A lot of good guests popped in this season, but only one of them was Weird Al as Sir Isaac Newton. His flow is incredible, showing he has come a long way from “I Can’t Watch This.” He even gets a fast rap segment where he gets to show off his “Hardware Store” skills.

Worst Characters:

As uneven as the season felt, Peter and Lloyd actually managed to stay remarkably consistent; Lloyd didn’t play any character I can say was ‘bad’ by any stretch. For a given value of “worst,” Peter’s Donald Trump just pales in comparison to Lloyd’s a couple seasons later. But again, as uneven as the season was, Peter and Lloyd really didn’t do bad. This is the point where the duo really began to come into their own and develop as performers, with them rarely turning in a bad performance from here on out.

The guest, on the other hand... Michelle Glavan’s Miley suffers from the same problems Bieber did two seasons prior - except her battle feels less like a funny curbstomp battle and more like they actually tried to make Miley Cyrus on the same level as ST. JOAN OF ARC.

Season 4

This is, without a doubt, the absolute best season of ERB. This is when they truly found their groove, knew what they were doing, and did nothing but pump out hit after hit after hit. It’s to the point where there is really only one bad battle in the season, and it’s not nearly as offensive as previous season’s stinkers.

Right out the gate this season proved itself by ditching the old tradition of Hitler and Vader and instead delivering up a highly requested matchup - in this case the Ghostbusters and the Mythbusters. The real treat isn’t merely the pitch-perfect portrayals, but the appearance at the end by the B Team and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, which cemented this as a fantastic and unique opening. From here, it was almost nothing but fantastic battles until the midseason finale, which was a battle royale of film directors.

Many argued that the season lost steam upon coming back from break, as “Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted” was a bit underwhelming as a return, but from there the season picked up with the criminally underrated “David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini” and then continuing up with the quality, the season peaking with “Eastern Philisophers vs Western Philosophers,” a fantastic showdown between some of the greatest thinkers of history. Somehow “Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar” kept up the pace, but I will say the season faltered a bit at the ending.

While “Jim Henson vs Stan Lee” is not bad, and is especially sweet and heartwarming in light of Stan Lee’s death, the use of Walt Disney as a soulless supervillain representing the monopolistic tendencies of his company and not the man himself is a rather contentious choice. It doesn’t help that the battle feels a lot more mellow and peaceful, which mostly has to do with the two men battling. It frankly feels like this should have been the midseason opener and the philosopher battle should have been the finale, since the latter battle feels a lot more epic and climactic.

The only truly bad battle of the season is, unfortunately, “Oprah vs Ellen,” which did nothing to alleviate the stigma of women characters in rap battles. I feel like the major issue with this one is that Oprah just has terrible lines and delivery, with some of her lines having painfully forced rhymes. Not helping is that it came hot on the heels of “Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter,” one of the best battles of season four’s first half.

Still, that’s a small blip on this season’s radar. To wrap things up on a more positive note, this season features perhaps the most unique battle in the franchise: “Zeus vs Thor.” Not only is it the only battle between deities so far, it is also the only battle animated entirely with Legos. It not only helps it stand out due to its unique style, it makes the battle more timeless and not prone to aging poorly in terms of visuals. It’s just overall a showcase of the brilliance of Peter and Lloyd - which is really something that can be said of the whole season.

This is, once again, the very best season of the show. It’s almost nothing but incredible, fantastic works from start to finish. Even the couple of battles that I feel are a bit weak tend to have some good stuff going for them. This was really where the series was at the top of its game, and I genuinely feel that there was nowhere they could go from here but down… and down they did go.

Best Battle: In a season full of fantastic battles, the gold medal still undoubtedly must go to the philosopher battle. The awesome beat! Laozi beatboxing! Nietzsche! It’s really something special.

Worst Battle: “Oprah vs Ellen,” for the reasons stated above. It’s not even so much that it’s bad as it is really underwhelming and filled with awkward lines, but it does stick out as notably poor in an otherwise stellar season.

Best Characters:

Lloyd: This is another Stellar season for Peter and Lloyd; it’s hard to pick just one great performance, but Lloyd voicing Stay Puft is certainly a hilarious treat.

Peter: Peter’s portrayal of Julius Caesar is one of the best showcases of his acting talents this season. I’d say it’s tied with Robocop, who Peter also knocks out of the park.

Guest: This season was absolutely stellar in regards to guests, so honestly picking the best is really a tossup. A personal favorite of mine is Dan Bull’s Jack the Ripper, who is equal parts chilling and entertaining.

Worst Character: It could only be Oprah, what with her painful rhymes and poor verses. That being said, she’s probably the only rapper I could stretch to call bad this season, as Peter and Lloyd has no bad showings and the other guests were pretty great.

Season 5

Welcome to the Dark Age. Season five is without a doubt the most divisive season of the series, and I do feel that that is a bit unwarranted because there are some truly fantastic battles here, probably more than there were in Golden Age seasons like three. The major issue with this season is not really a problem with the battles themselves, but a two-pronged meta problem: burnout, and the toxic fanbase.

The burnout was a long time coming. Peter and Lloyd had been doing ERB nonstop for half the decade at the point this season came out, and as the finale of the season, a rematch between Peter and Lloyd, showed the two were tired, frustrated, and hitting walls in terms of creativity. They obviously loved the series - there was still plenty of passion, creativity, and wit in the battles - but they needed a break, especially since Peter had recently become a father.

The other issue was far less predictable. When the 2010s began, making fun of Nazis and conservative ideology was cool, fun, and pretty much what anyone with a functioning brain was doing. But over the 2010s, a lot of radicalization began occurring due to social media and its ability to give platforms to awful people who shouldn’t be allowed to talk. Nazis, alt-right, conservatives, anti-SJWs, they all started building up over the decade and trying to wage a culture-wide war on sensitivity and empathy, instead trying to convince others that the plight of those who are disadvantaged due to how the ruling class structured society is not worth addressing and that things are fine the way they are. Trump’s depressingly successful presidential campaign did nothing but embolden and strengthen the resolve of these creeps, and that kind of leads into the three most contentious battles of the season - “Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson,” “Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton,” and “Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner.”

“Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson” got a lot of flack for seemingly being one-sided in Douglass’ favor, with him almost solely attacking Jefferson for his owning of slaves and not really establishing himself well. While the battle isn’t particularly engaging and I didn’t really come out feeling like I learned much about Douglass, a lot of the criticisms at the time seemed more focused on being angry that this battle addressed that slavery was actually a thing at all and that the battle watered things down to “Jefferson bad!” This is of course disregarding that even Douglass admits in his final verse that Jefferson did a lot for the country, but that we need to address the bad parts of him more than we do. Still, this was small potatoes compared to the latter two battles.

These two battles are what made Pete and Lloyd really pause due to the negative reactions both battles garnered. The election battle received a lot of criticism for seemingly having a “left-wing bias,” as despite it following a similar structure to the previous presidential election battle, Lincoln’s appearance was a lot more focused on berating and abusing Trump. One needs to keep in mind though that Trump had already definitively shown he was a racist, misogynistic scumbag at this point in the presidential race, all of his lines were based on things he actually said, and he was pretty much the strongest rapper in the battle, getting in a lot of good disses. The battle is only “one-sided” in the minds of people who want to be angry at everything; it’s no more one sided than any of the Hitler and Vader fights, it just so happens that one combatant is more evil than the other and so deserves more abuse.

“Banner vs Jenner” seemed to get flack almost entirely due to its acknowledgment that trans people exist. I will be the first to admit that Caitlin Jenner is not really the best person to be using to push a pro-LGBT+ message, especially considering her political leanings, but the fact remains that there was a massive influx of transphobic comments in regards to the battle, mostly with very tired “The connection is they are Bruces who turn into monsters Lol” jokes. This drowned out a lot of legitimate criticisms of the battle - namely, that Jenner got to ramble on for several bars in her second verse while Hulk barely got to get in any good jabs. It’s even more disappointing because the first verses for both rappers was fantastic, and the second half of the battle looked to be shaping into something great… and then Jenner rambled on and on and on. But it was hard to find much constructive criticism because there was just so much hate and tasteless comments. Stuff like that upset Peter and Lloyd, as they had assumed their fanbase was more progressive and forward-thinking, but with how the internet works, they severely misjudged the kinds of people who had infested their fanbase.

It really is a shame that those battles tend to overshadow the entire season five conversation, because boy are there some really great battles here. There’s underrated gems like the overhated “Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder,” strong female rappers like Julia Child in her battle against Gordon Ramsay, long-requested matchups like “James Bond vs Austin Powers,” and even a great story battle with “Ivan the Terrible vs Alexander the Great,” which has Ivan murdering his way through historical figures with “The Great” in their titles. It’s a lot of fun, and Peter’s performance as Ivan is a showcase of his talents.

However, the season’s greatest contribution to the series is most definitely the penultimate battle, which is “Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill.” This might very well be the most epic battle in the series: the ever-popular announcer for ERB’s news jumping in to battle the only man in history who could possibly be ballsy enough to stand up to him. It’s to the point where even as the battle ends, the two are still roughly on even footing and it’s hard to say who won. If this had been the season finale, or even the series finale if they had decided not to continue, things would be perfect.

This season is overshadowed by controversy, and it really isn’t totally fair. Most of the controversy is around the guys trying to be more progressive and for punching hard at Trump but not Clinton, and while I can’t say I love the results (the controversial battles are definitely the weakest of the season) it really shouldn’t be held against them for trying to be socially conscious and they certainly should not be shamed, berated, or told to leave politics out of their battles (rap is an inherently personal genre, so politics are always going to find a way in, especially if the characters they’re portraying are, you know, politicians). I think a lot of great battles are overlooked, all because of the more controversial ones, and that’s a real shame, because this is a solid season only held back by the controversy it found itself mired in due to the state of the internet at the time.

Best Battle: “Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill,” naturally.

Worst Battle: “Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner,” though it entirely comes down to how the second half of the battle was handled; having this be the battle was not in itself a bad idea, and was actually pretty clever. The poor, lopsided battle biased in the favor of a character who is a terrible person in real life simply because they’re trans (or at least that’s kind of the vibe the episode gives) really doesn’t help. Frankly I wish they had given the first trans character in the series honor to someone more worthy, like the Wachowski sisters.

Best Character:

Lloyd: Teddy Roosevelt is the obvious choice, but I almost feel like it’s cheating since he is a mainstay on the channel. If we discount him, Frederick the Great is the clear winner for stealing a whole battle in twelve bars.

Peter: It’s honestly a tie between Austin Powers and Ivan the Terrible. Peter really rocked it with his performances in this season, and those two are some of his best roles ever.

Guest: In one of the most out-there yet awesome guest spots ever, we have T-Pain as Stevie Wonder, ditching the auto tune and delivering sick rhymes while tastefully portraying Stevie’s blindness.

Worst Character: Once again, Peter and Lloyd manage not to put in any bad performances, which really is a testament to how far they’ve come as entertainers.That only leaves one spot, the guest, and it really has to go to the elephant in the room: No Shame’s Caitlin Jenner.

I don’t really blame No Shame here; because she had the unenviable position of playing Jenner in the first place; Jenner is not exactly a beloved figure in the LGBT+ community or otherwise, and while it is cool they got a trans rapper to play a trans character, I feel like backlash here was inevitable just because of who it was.

What doesn’t help is that Jenner rambles on for a ludicrous amount of bars, getting in way more disses than Hulk did and not having any of her negative qualities addressed, which is especially baffling considering her real life political leanings and manslaughter charge being ripe for mockery. It ultimately comes off as tokenism, like they were trying to force a win for the first trans character by handicapping her opponent and ignoring her flaws, which ultimately backfired as most people give the win to Banner/Hulk as opposed to Jenner.

I really hope ERB does a trans character again, because there are plenty of interesting trans people throughout history, but I really hope they avoid the pitfalls Jenner fell into and make it a fair and balanced rap battle.

Season 6

After a hiatus that lasted through 2017 and until the end of 2018, the boys dropped a bonus battle to show they were coming back. And lo and behold, in the spring of 2019 season six dropped! While it is only half over by the decade’s end, one thing is for sure: Peter and Lloyd are back in top form.

The battles this time around seem to be a lot of highly requested matchups, which is not a huge shock - I believe certain tiers of donors who support them get a direct line to speak to the people behind ERB. It’s to the point where Robin Williams appearing in the comedian battle Royale was not the original plan, but he was so highly requested they added him in. Continuing the trend of popular requests opening seasons, this one kicks off with the long-awaited “Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine.” It’s clear how much their lyricism has improved, and the visuals in the battle are incredible, setting the bar high for the season.

Most of the battles in the first half sadly don’t try and go for creative backgrounds, sadly; only “Joker vs Pennywise” and “Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin” really do interesting stuff with their backgrounds. Still, the other battles make up for it in other ways, typically with deft lyricism and great flow. In fact, even though not all the battles are top-tier, it’s telling that the weakest battle so far is “Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud,” which only suffers because of how repetitive the disses get, especially on Freud’s end - Teresa’s flow and disses hit hard, Freud has a solid second verse, and the best is very fun. The worst thing I can say about it is that it feels like a holdover from season two, and considering this has been a matchup they’ve wanted to do for a long time, it wouldn’t shock me if it is.

The production values are astounding, and the overall visuals are the best in the series, but alas there are some hiccups. Freddy Krueger and Thanos in particular look a bit off; their battles are obviously not bad, but the costumes leave something to be desired, though considering these guys aren’t a multimillion dollar film studio it’s fair to cut a little bit of slack. What can’t be excused, however. Is the constant use of outdated memes, the worst offender being a reference to “What Does the Fox Say” in the rap battle between Che Guevara and Guy Fawkes (Side note: it is absolutely hilarious that Guy Fawkes and Joker both debuted in this season, considering… well… this). Almost every battle so far this season has contained a dated visual or lyrical reference, though they don’t really ruin the battles.

Overall, the season is extremely good so far, and showcases perfectly how far Peter and Lloyd have come since that first rap battle between John Lennon and Bill O’Reilly. The flows, the beats, the lyrics, the costumes… it’s all so good now. Long gone are the awkward days of the early seasons, and the burnout that was evident in season five is truly gone. These guys are having fun again, and I look forward to the rest of this season in 2020.

Best Battle: So far this season has almost been nothing but smashes, but perhaps their greatest accomplishment is “The Joker vs Pennywise,” which manages to play off the relevancy of both killer clowns while giving us some of Peter and Lloyd’s best performances to date, with Peter in particular doing a phenomenal Mark Hamill impression. The battle is also a bit longer than usual, with each rapper getting three verses, allowing them to cram in numerous references. Joker is definitely the wittier and funnier rapper, but Pennywise has a much better flow, which honestly plays to their actor’s strengths. This is my personal favorite battle of the series.

“Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin” is honestly tied, as it also plays off the duo’s strengths and is very fun with an energetic, badass beat.

Worst Battle: A lot of people point to “Vlad the Impaler vs Count Dracula” for its slow pace and goofier take on Dracula, or “Ronald Mcdonald vs The Burger King” for being recycled from their “Flash in the Pan Hip Hop Conflicts of Nowadays” side series with very little in the way of improved lyrics. On both counts I disagree; I think both are good battles, with the latter being one of my favorites due to how goofy it is. So far, though, the battle that was the biggest disappointment was “Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud.” This was one a long time coming, but the payoff isn’t quite worth it. Most of the jokes on Freud’s side are incredibly repetitive, and in general his flow is weak compared to Teresa, who just absolutely kills it with creative and witty deliveries. It leads to this weird feeling of Freud being a season one character in terms of quality, which is a real shame.

Best Character:

Lloyd: Lloyd just oozes the charisma of Steve Irwin and Robin Williams when he plays them, easily making them the standout performances of this half of season six.

Peter: Peter brings his A-game as Joker, as mentioned above, but he also manages to be incredibly chilling and awesome as J. Robert Oppenheimer, easily outdoing Thanos in their rap battle. Oh snap!

Guest: This is a season of ties, it looks like, cuz Jackie Tohn as Joan Rivers and Gary Anthony Williams as Bill Cosby really change the tone of the comedian royale for the better. Cosby barely gets any lines, mind you, and spends most of the battle drugged and getting abused by Tohn’s Joan Rivers, but there’s just something hilarious about the ERB guys getting Uncle Ruckus to play a drugged-out Cosby. As for Rivers, she’s just perfect.

Worst Character: Visually, Thanos is not the best, and lyrically, Freud isn’t great, but I don’t think either of them deserves to be called ‘the worst.’ So far, this season has managed to avoid any overt stinkers.

And so we come to a close. Ten years of rap battles, ten years of growing and improvement, ten years of a rollercoaster ride of quality… it really is amazing that Peter and Lloyd have consistently managed to come back to this series and find new ways to breathe life into it. Considering their more recent videos, I can only hope they keep up this level of quality into the next decade. Here’s to another ten years of ERB!

…

Oh, alright, I’ll talk about the bonus battles. So far, there have been two: “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” came out between seasons four and five, and “Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg” came out a few months before season six kicked off to show us all that, yes, the boys were back, and they weren’t messing around. Both battles are pretty indicative of the time period they were made; “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” has that extremely high level of quality in terms of writing and characterization that season four did, and “Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg” has the sort of rejuvenated, fresh feeling the season six battles have. I will say I much prefer the former than the latter, as the latter does at least somewhat come off as an attempt to recapture the glory of “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates,” only with two far less charismatic inventors, but it’s still pretty fun and clever in its own right. “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” is, without a doubt, one of their best battles ever, and does justice to two of the most beloved ensemble darkhorses in all of media. I can only hope any bonus battles in the future are up to these two in terms of quality.

Now with all that said… here’s to another decade of ERB! May they only continue to grow and improve in the 2020s!

#Michael in the Mainstream #Review #web show review #epic rap battles of history #ERB #rap #nice peter #epiclloyd #history #rap battles #comedy #Youtube

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lightandwinged · 5 years

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Alright, it’s review time, and it’s going to be spoilery and rambly because I’m still parsing my thoughts on everything SO.

Sans spoilers: a solid and fitting conclusion, if a bit faster paced than I would’ve liked, but it adhered to the overarching themes of the Skywalker saga probably better than anything in the new trilogy has before, and I don’t know how, considering everything (namely that Space Mom is gone), they could have or would have done things differently. Not my absolute favorite (that will forever be RotJ), but still very good.

Spoilers below, be ye warned.

I found it utterly hilarious that the plot started with Kyle Ron finding the Macguffin and chillin out with Papa Palpatine while the Good Guys had to go on this entire huge quest to FIND the Macguffin to begin with, and the only reason he didn’t just fuck off and finish some dastardly plan while they were scurrying about and trying to find the Pyramid Of Doom was because he’s got a lot to work out in his feelings about Rey. Like shit, no wonder Papa Palpatine decided to just stick with his own bloodline for galactic domination, Skywalkers are useless.

(except Leia, who is awesome)

The inclusion of Carrie Fisher in this film was VERY well done, but it also hurt a lot because you could tell that her scenes were cobbled together from old material and not made of anything new. It was good and necessary, but it also just hurt, like a constant reminder that she’s gone and nobody could replace her ever. And I’ll get more to that in a minute.

The Macguffin questing honestly felt a lot like the first half of RotJ, where we have to go rescue Han right quick because Harrison Ford was pretty sure he didn’t want to Star Wars anymore, so here’s a sidequest for half the movie, with the only difference here being that the questline had to do with the actual Plot. I’ve been following the Star Wars leaks subreddit for a while (don’t read the comments, it’s a wretched hive of scum and villainy and bitterness), and I know that at one point, it was supposed to be this race between Team Dark Side and Team Light Side to get the Pyramid of Destiny and then they’d find out that oh shit, Sheev’s here, but that was scrapped... and I kind of wish it hadn’t been? It would’ve made the first half of frolicking through this planet... no this planet... no, no, it’s on this planet... feel a lot less distracting.

The dynamic between Finn, Poe, and Rey was fantastic, because those three actors just have amazing chemistry on so many levels. They immediately fell into the dynamic of “we’re a polyamorous triad who’ve been living together for a while, and we really love each other, but we’re also a LITTLE BIT STRESSED RIGHT NOW OK” and that’s fair. I was glad to see all of it, and I just wish that we’d had more of it in both TFA and TLJ. It reminded me a LOT of how the best parts of the OT were always when Luke, Han, and Leia were together.

And now I’m going to take a sulk break to think about what we could’ve had with that amazing dynamic.

I’m back.

The new characters were some of the weaker parts of the film, I felt, save for Lando (because Billy Deeeeeeee). Dominic Monaghan, whom I love, could’ve had his role taken entirely by Rose, or Billie Lourde, and nobody would’ve noticed. And I don’t mind the addition of extra women to the cast, but Zorii and Jannah felt like they were just there to be like “Poe fucks women! Finn might too!” And... yanno, cool? But the OT3 stands.

And then General Pryde, aptly named, should’ve been a bigger part in all three films because it was like... here’s this yahoo out of nowhere who’s apparently a really big Sheev fan and just... like... what? I mean, I’m a huge Sheev fan, too, but I wish he’d been more of a Piett, where we could’ve seen him worming his way up the ranks, which would’ve made his downfall more satisfying. Instead, it was just kind of like... eh? Cool, I guess? With Piett, you felt like “yeah, we’ve seen this guy fucking things up for our heroes for two entire movies now, and here he is, getting destroyed because of his pride, hahaha!” but with Pryde, it was like “wait, who are you? Oh you’re dead now? Okay, cool, I guess?”

And in conjunction with THAT, Hux was just wasted in this film. I fully accept the idea that he rose through the ranks because of nepotism or something, and I also fully accept that he’s an absolutely useless twink who can’t do anything without having Phasma top him weekly (she used to top both him and Ren, which is why they’re such disasters in this movie), but man, couldn’t we have like... taken him with us? Imagine the comedy potential as he’s brought back as a prisoner and Domhnall Gleeson gets even more screen time with Oscar Isaac. I don’t mind that he died a worthless death because he was basically a useless wretch, but I do feel like if the movie had given itself more breathing room, he could’ve been a lot of fun.

RELATED, the pacing. So in the beginning of the movie, the idea of a light skip (basically, just sort of using the hyperdrive without planning or anything) is brought up, and everyone involved in this action bounces from world to world to world in rapid fire fashion to get rid of a bunch of TIE fighters following them, and that’s roughly the pace of this film. There are a few moments of quiet and contemplation, but they’re so rare that they seem to last a lot longer than they actually do, and I think it’s mostly because this movie really feels like a Lord of the Rings style epic packed into a MCU time frame. And I’m not complaining about the time, because by the time the credits rolled, I had to pee so fucking badly, but I feel like also if we’d trimmed out a couple of things (like maybe we can get rid of Kijimi, I think it is? The snow planet? or just merge Kijimi and Pasaana?), we’d have had more time to breathe and that would’ve helped the pacing a lot.

The slow moments in the film belonged almost exclusively to Rey and Kyle Ron, and honestly, Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver both deserve some sort of award recognition for their acting, the latter particularly. Without going into wild details about the plot, Kyle Ron does change his mind and go back to being Ben Solo, and god bless you so much Adam Driver because the change is instantaneous and delightful. If we’d seen significantly more Ben Solo than Kyle Ron, I’d totally be on board with the r.3y.10.z because this child omg. As it stands, the kiiiiissssss made me do like

in real life. It felt... mm, unearned, we’ll say. Maybe as a moment of “oh fuck that was intense and now we’re both alive” I could’ve bought it, but it wasn’t that, it was supposed to be this “my looooove” moment and just... sorry, but no.

BUT that said, while I think his death was the only way this series could’ve ended for him because a redemption arc would’ve required a LOT more time and energy, and that just... wasn’t going to happen. The time to have him make the turn if we were going to see a redemption arc was during TLJ, and since he didn’t make that change, we don’t get a Zuko arc. And that’s FINE because that’s a lot of work for a three movie series. And I don’t want a TV series devoted to Ben Solo learning to not be a dick to people. That’s exhausting.

But I do wish we’d gotten more time with him. The brief time we had, the bit of Han Solo snark that came out (”ow”), that was all delightful and made me understand what people see in the character (who I hate because he’s a great character to hate).

(omg while I was writing this, someone was saying that they were in a theater with someone talking about how the movie should’ve ended with Kyle Ron giving Rey a Force baby, and Y’ALL THERE IS NOT ENOUGH NOPE IN THE WORLD)

Anyway, bullets now, for the times I cried:

Literally everything with Leia, but especially that her last word was “Ben” and her using every last bit of her energy to save her son because I GET THAT FEEL, and honestly, the only reason she wasn’t there raining death and destruction on Sheev by herself for grooming her baby was because Carrie Fisher died. But anyway, from the moment she dropped her headset on, I was a blubbering mess.

And then Han, just a memory, but looking more at peace than he ever has. He convinces his son to come home, and Ben now says, “Dad?” and Han just says, “I know,” and FUFUUFUFALSKJDLAKSJDF: SOBBING

And then CHEWIE reacting to Leia’s death just... UGH. I am destroyed utterly, still.

Luke finally managing to Force lift the X-Wing out of the water made me cry as well, weirdly enough.

And then whatever emotion I felt when Rey heard all the Jedi, and it was LITERALLY EVERYONE WHO HAS PLAYED A JEDI EVER COMING IN AND SAYING A LINE like not just the familiar ones but the ones you wouldn’t know unless you’d watched all the TV series and extra material... it was so much more than tears. I couldn’t cry because it wouldn’t have been enough to encompass everything that made me feel. Very sincerely well done.

All-in-all, yeah, it was really good. I don’t get what everyone is so fussed over with it... it ties up the themes of the entire nine-movie arc pretty neatly and does basically the best it can with what it has.

But a bigger point in its favor, for me, was seeing Sam’s reaction to it: jumping up and down in his seat, gasping, grabbing my hand, whispering, “Mommy, they’re going to be okay, right?” and then cheering at the end. Star Wars, as a thing, isn’t for just one person or one group of people, but I consider how people who were kids when the PT came out say without a hint of irony that it’s not that bad, because to them, that’s what Star Wars is and always has been. The joy of it isn’t just the OT but those three movies that were “meh” to those of us who cut our teeth on the OT only. And in a similar vein, the ST is full of that joy for kids now. Like holy moley, Sam and his best friend geeking out over seeing each other in Star Wars costumes at Halloween was just worth everything.

So in the end, like I concluded at the end of TLJ, the message here is that it’s for them. And also that there’s always hope, that ultimately, even when it seems the odds are against light, there’s more of us than there are of them.

#star wars #the rise of skywalker #the rise of skywalker spoilers #I dehydrated myself crying at this movie

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razorblade180 · 5 years

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Lasting Embers pt12: Family

Jaune:*walking down the stairs* Well look who’s having a midnight snack.

*Yang and Yujin eating french toast*

Yang:*mouth full* Hi hun...

Yujin:*waving enthusiastically*

Jaune:I’m guessing the market run was a success?

Yujin:Not only that, mom told me some very interesting stories. You never told me you once used the sword of destruction to fight your old partner!

Jaune:*looks at Yang* You started with that story...?

Yang:It’s a depressing but hardcore story; I’m surprised you didn’t tell her yourself. You had a death match with the undead invincible warrior.

Jaune:First, she wasn’t undead. She was just all grimm like and horrifying. Second, somehow I knew that would love telling that story. So I saved it for you to tell.

Yujin:I always knew you were a pretty cool dad but hearing that story just makes you even cooler! *eyes as wide as her plate*

Yang:*taking this moment to sneak over to Ruby* Hey there lil sis; feeling rested?

Ruby:*laying on the couch* Yeah, it feels nice to sleep on good furniture after a decade.

Yang:Is that the only place you sle-ow!

Ruby:*flicking her forehead* I know what you’re implying and I still think it’s very weird that you would be okay with something like that. Like extremely weird.

Yang:*rubbing her forehead* Don’t you think I know that? It wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen to this family if we’re being truthful.

Ruby:Yang, why is my love life so important to you. I know things have been......difficult for me. However, I don’t think I’m desperate enough to sleep with my sister’s husband. That sounds like something out of Blake’s novels.

Yang:I know it’s just....if I’m being honest with myself I feel like I robbed you. You and Jaune have always had this special connection no one can match and frankly it always made me a little jealous.

Ruby:......

Yang:Also I can’t help but feel that if you had married him then you would’ve been spared this heart-ow! Stop thumping me.

Ruby:No matter how you slice it, Oscar’s death would’ve tore me up. Him being my husband was definitely fuel for that agony but I want to believe I would’ve mourned just as hard even if he wasn’t. Your intentions are weird but pure; I’ll be fine though.

Yang:*kisses her forehead* If my leader says she’s fine then I guess she’s fine. Do me a favor though and don’t lock your heart away. We both know Weiss is single.

Ruby:I’d be a little less concerned about my skills to meet someone and more concerned about your moves in bed. You’re ten years rusty and I know from that kiss you had with Jaune earlier that he’s been waiting for this night.

Yang:.....*red* That hadn’t crossed my mind. Shoot, that might have to wait. It would be weird it Yu-

Ruby:*standing up* Yujin let’s go get your sword before something happens to it. A grimm or person might take it.

Yujin:Crap, you’re right. All that work into making Tempered Steel and I forgot my poor baby in a fit of rage! *rushes out the door*

Ruby:I’ll keep her safe and you two....you know. *closes door*

Jaune:*looks at Yang*

Yang:Sooooo there’s still some french toast le-*caught off gaurd by a kiss before getting picked up*

Jaune:Not really what I want to eat right now.

Yang:J..just so you know, it’s been awhile for me. I’m probably out of practice. *embarrassed*

Jaune:You say that like I’m not. It’s been a long ten years. I don’t want to waste a another moment.

Yang:*crimson* Then by all means.... let’s go to bed. I am a little tired from today though.

Jaune:That’s fine *whispers* I’ll do all the work.

Yang:*laughs anxiously* So much for sleeping.

[Forest Clearing]

Yujin:......Was this a distraction?

Ruby:Yeah....

Yujin: I see. *closes eyes* Mom and dad are-

Ruby:Yeah.......

Yujin:*grabs her sword* Sigh, I shouldn’t have asked.

[the next morning]

Jaune:*peacfully sleeping in bed* Zzzz

Yang:*admiring him as she lays beside him* (who would’ve thought I’d miss the sound of him snoring? Sleeping without a care in the world.) *kisses his forehead*

Jaune:*smiles warmly in his sleep*

Yang:*smiles* I love you....

*knock knock knock*

Yang:Don’t tell me they were out all night? I feel kinda bad now. *puts on PJ’s and heads down stairs*

*Yujin and Ruby sleeping with headphones on*

Yang:Oh they’re inside. Wait, who’s knocking at five in the morning? *looks through the peep whole*

*A man stands there wearing a hooded cloak. Combat boots and leather gloves can be seen; a few strands of reddish hair visible*

Yang:Wait a sec, *opens the door* Adam?

Adam:*takes off the hood. Hair noticeably longer and laid down. A slight bang covers his scar. His horns have actually grown a few inches longer* Yang? You’re back?

Yang:You know, Jaune did mention you were gonna be showing up; I just can’t believe you’re actually here. *glaring slightly* not sure how I feel about it all things considered.

Adam:That’s fair; if anyone would’ve bothered to tell me you’d be back then I wouldn’t be here. Wait, is Blake...?

Yang:She’s alive and should be back in menagerie by now; or at least close to it.

Adam:Hmmm I guess I should’ve stayed back a day or two like Jacquelyn wanted. Oh well, no point in thinking about it now. *rubs the slight stubble on his chin*

Yang:*noticing a ring*..........How?

Adam:How what?

Yang:*shaking her head* Nothing! You uhh... look healthy. That hairstyle sucks though; you look a little emo.

Adam:Rude as ever I see. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m “dead” to the majority world. Walking around with a very iconic scar would raise some flags.

Yang:Still.....*movig his bang* you’re kinda fortunate you don’t use that eye to-

*yang staring at two blue eyes instead of one*

Yang:S...see? How on remnant do you have- *gears turning* how much luck do you have to have to get the chance to marry the one person who can open the vault to the relic of creation.

Adam:It was her idea; not mine. She insisted on doing it though.

Yang:You kept the scar though?

Adam:Fixing things is fine but, you shouldn’t forget that they got broken in the first place. This scar in a way started it all; only fitting it stays.

Yang:....Seeing you calm is jarring and uncomfortable. What happened to all that spite?

Adam:It lingers; there’s just not as much room for it as there used to be. Speaking of the relic of creation... *points to her arm* If it can make an eye then a limb should be easy.

Yang:*looking at it* It’s not like a need to get rid of this. Although, it would be nice to hug Yujin with two regular arms for change. I’ll think about it.

Adam:Speaking of the wild child, is she-

*Yang aggressively pushed to the side unexpectedly*

Yujin:*jumps through the door frame, arms stretched out excitedly* Sensei Adam!!!!

Adam:*side steps; Yujin face planting on the ground*

Yujin:*muffled* Why would you do that?

Adam:Last time I was over you lunged at with a sword trying to challenge me.

Yujin:*standing up pouting* I just wanted a hug.... *red*

Yang:*dying inside* (of all people)

Adam:*rubbing her head* You’ve grown like a weed. It has been almost a year since my last check in though.

Yujin:*ginning* Did you bring me a present!? You know my birthday was just yesterday right!?

Adam:I’m constantly traveling lightly and can’t be seen by regular people. Getting you a present would be difficult.

Yujin:Oh...*puts her head down* Huh? *sees a pendant shaped like the sun dangling in her peripheral*

Adam:*holding it* So I had this made secretly. It’s made out of a sun stone; Happy Birthday.

Yang:*eyes widen* (Is this even the same guy?)

Yujin:*Putting it on immediately* This is awesome! I can’t believe you did this. *hugs him*

Adam:*looking at Yang while trying to free his arms* You okay over there?

Yang:I....I’m coping. You being good with kid’s let alone my daughter is a reality I have to get used to.

Adam:If it makes you feel better, I don’t always have this type of luck when it comes to my kid. With all this is espionage I only really see them one or two months out of the yea-

Yang:YOU HAVE A KID!!!!!?

Yujin:I know right? *letting go* Honestly I’d rather have you tell me about her as a gift because he’s told me nothing about her!

Adam:Nope.

Yujin:Worth a shot *mumbles* a kiss on the cheek would’ve been a nice gift...

Adam:What did you say?

Yujin:*Blushing* Nothing!

Yang:Wait, are you referring to that one runt we found in that... *looks at Yujin* ...... *covers her ears* that slave and torture sight? Where you ended up a while back?

Adam:No I have a biological kid. I do count both of them as mine though. *trying not to smile*

Yang:Can I know about her?

Yujin*struggling and trying to lead lips* Aw come on! Why don’t I get to know? *ears finally uncovered*

Adam:Sorry kiddo, not that I don’t trust you to keep a secret but that sort of thing is best left for an actual encounter. I’m sure one day you get meet my desert rose.

Yujin:Desert rose? What does that mean?

Adam:You’ll figure it out one day; don’t think about too much.

Yujin:Fine.....Oh! Can I get one more present from you!?

Adam:I’m not teaching you a proper moonslice.

Yang:*shudders*

Yujin:Not that, but I still want to learn. I’m curious on who’s stronger these days, you or mom.

*both look at each other*

Yang:I’m done of you are; I miss punching you a bit. Those were simpler times.

Adam:You’re in PJ’s Yang.

Yang:Consider it a handicap. I’ve done a lot in ten years; I might be too much to handle.

Adam:*throws cloak off* Those are some bold words. I think you might’ve forgotten what this swordsman can do. *smirking*

*both looking at each other smugly. Tension in the air.*

Yujin:*hitting record on her scroll* Who would’ve thought being 15 was so great?

[inside]

Jaune:*hearing metal clashing outside* That didn’t take long. Pass the milk please.

Ruby:*making cereal* This will never change and the worst part is....

Jaune:It always ends in a draw.... *raises spoon* To nostalgia!

Ruby:*raises spoon* And the two of them at least not going for blood!

“Cheers!” *clink*

#rwby #rwby lasting embers #yujin xiao long #yang xiao long #jaune arc #ruby rose #adam taurus #rwby dragonslayer

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hazyheel · 5 years

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AEW Double Or Nothing 2019 Review

We started with the Casino battle Royal, with five guys in the ring. We had Sunny Daze, Michael Nakazawa, Brandon Cutler, MJF and Dustin Thomas. MJF had mega heat by attacking Thomas and calling him lieutenant dan, and then saying that Cutler was a favor to the young bucks. Nakazawa was oiling himself up like crazy, which was super weird to see because I do not know him. Next in was Brian Pillman Junior, Jimmy Havoc, Joey Janela, Shawn Spears and one more guy. Spears immediately went for MJF, and they beat each other up. Next in was Jungle Boy, Glacier, Billy Gunn, Mark Quinn and Ace Romero. MJF got a bunch of heat for eliminating Glacier, after Glacier frozen misted Sunny Daze. Adam Page was the final entrant in the match, and had a warpath. Stunt took a rough pump to be eliminated, as Romero shoved him out through the air and to the floor. Jungle Boy then eliminated Romero, Spears and Thomas had a bit of an alliance, until Thomas pulled him out over the top for the elimination. MJF eliminated crowd favorites Thomas and Cutler. Janela had a disgusting bump through a table on the outside from Luchasaurus, which was very terribble looking. Orange Cassidy showed up for no reason, doing his little kick spots to dreamer before being eliminated in a match that he wasn’t even in. Fun guy though. The final three were Luchasaurus, Adam Page and MJF. MJF hid on the outside, and Page eliminated Luchasaurus. He celebrated winning, but MJF ran in to try to throw him out. Page was okay, and hit the buckshot lariat, and threw him out to win.

Grade: C. This had a lot of fun spots, but there was very little connecting the action. I liked having Page get the win after his match with Pac was cancelled. I think there were a lot of terrifying things happening here, especially that table bump. Janela may be dead, but probably not. I liked the winner and there were some interesting things happening. A fine battle royal, but nothing specacular.

Then we had Kip Sabian vs. Sammy Guevara. This was a fun little cruiserweight match. There was a lot of misdirection based offense, like when Sabian faked a suicide dive only to hit a spring board somersault senton. Sabian locked in a cool looking submission at one point, Guevara went for a moonsault, landed on his feet forth another, only to land on his feet again and hit a standing shooting star for a near fall. At another, Guevara hit a 450 to Sabian while he was on the barricade. In the finish, Guevara went for the 630 senton, only for Sabian to get his knees up and hit deathly hallows for the win.

Grade: B. Fun little spotfest. I think both of these guys are super good, and they can put on some great matches in the future. I’m surprised that Guevara lost given how much emphasis he has had on BTE lately, but that is fine. Both of them are really good, and I’m sure that they will be big talents in the future.

We opened up with SoCal Uncensored vs. StrongHearts. Of course, SCU cut a promo shitting on the town and the LA crowd love it. Both teams were working together really well, with SCU isolating El Lindamen. The match quickly became a cluster of bodies, with each team desperately trying to support any person that they have in the ring. The match felt a lot like the multi-man matches in New Japan, with the partners covering the ring while people are being pinned. The Stronghearts hit an awesome combination of a pop up knee from T-Hawk, followed by an ensiguri from CIMA, a slam from T-Hawk and a german suplex from Lindaman. Everyone started really flying around with dropkicks, suicide dives and cutters. Daniels hit the angels wings for a near fall, followed by a splas hfrom CIMA for a near fall. In the final stretch, Daniels hit the best moonsault ever into the piledriver (called the best meltzer driver ever) for the win.

Grade: A-. Holy crap was this good. So fast paced, lots of action and people flying all over the place. This was a really great match, and if they continue to have tag matches like this one, I will definitely enjoy the tag division in this company. Awesome stuff.

Into the triple threat match, we had Kylie Rae vs. Nyla Rose vs. Britt Baker. However, as match began. Brandi Rhodes came out with her ring gear. She said that she didn’t want a great match, she wanted an awesome one. Awesome Kong then came out, and made it a four way. Kong and Rose immediately squared up and fought a bit. Kong was beating down everyone in the match, but left some room for Rae and Baker to fight. There was a cool spot where Kong caught Baker out of a splash, only for Rae to hit a suicide dive to take them both down. Kong had a huge tower of doom spot, and nearly powerbombed Baker off the apron in another spot, for Baker to fight out, Rae to hit a superkick, and then Rose to hit a spear into the steps. Baker was finally able to get the win with a superkick and the brainbuster on the knee.

Grade: B-. Another car crash of a match. Kong, Baker and Rae all really impressed me. Rose didn’t really impress me, but there were a lot of really nice spots here. I want to see a match between Baker and Rae one on one, that could really be awesome. Can’t wait for the AEW women’s Championship.

Next up was a tag match, Best Friends Chuck Taylor and Trent vs. Angelico and Jack Evans. Best friends went for a hug early on, but their opponents stopped that. Evans and Angelico worked on Trent’s legs, and really showed off their Lucha style of wrestling. Best friends hit a lot of awesome offense, such as a tornado DDT into a double foot stomp to the face. They then also hit a crucifix bomb into the cutter for a near fall. For another near fall, Angelico hit a cruicifix bomb into the corner, followed by a 630 senton, but Taylor broke it up. Taylor took out Angelico with a tope con hilo, and they pinned Evans with a Storm Zero.

After the match, The Best Friends asked for a hug. Angelico and Evans tried to do a handshake, but the Best Friends refused. They hugged, and then the lights went out. A new tag team had emerged after the match, but I didn’t know who they are. They went out again, and there were a bunch of minions that came out to assist. This new team beat down everyone. Evans was hit with a ripcord flatliner, and Trent was hit with a reverse electric chair facebuster.

Grade: A-. I loved this. It was another sprint of a match with a bunch of awesome spots, and some really good tag wrestling. I always had a soft spot for tag wrestling, and they did a great job here. I liked the attack afterwards, but I don’t know who they were. This tag division looks really great, and I cannot wait to see it start up in full. I felt like Best Friends made sense as the winners, although I predicted otherwise. They will be a united front for a while before picking up the storyline later.

Into the 6-woman Tag, we had Aja Kong, Emi Sakura, Yuka Sakazaki vs. Hikaru Shida, Riho and Ryo Mizunami. Ryo and Aja kong had a little strength vs. strength match, but Ryo really didn’t stand a chance against the legend of Aja. Riho and Emi had some good looking action, doing some technical wrestling before Riho hit an awesome armdrag. Kong drilled Riho with a awesome looking piledriver, but her team broke it up. Ryo drilled Yuka with a great looking deadlift suplex for a near fall. At one point, the ref was distracted, Shida and Kong dueled with a trash bin and a kendo stick. Somehow the kendo stick won. In the finishing stretch, Sakazaki took out Shida and Ryo with a plancha. Kong then accidentlly hit Sakura with a back fist, and then Riho destroyed her with a crossbody. Shida then ran into the ring to pin Sakura with a shining wizard.

Grade: B+. I didn’t know any of these people before the match, and I came out of it as a fan of every single one of them. Their characters are interesting, and I apologize if the review wasn’t great. I was trying to keep track of too many people and learn too many names. But it was awesome, and I hope that they end up joining the AEW women’s division.

Next up was Cody vs. Dustin Rhodes. Before the match, Brandi grabbed a sledgehammer for Cody. Cody then used it to destroy a throne on the stage, officially declaring war on the WWE (it was all a symbol for Triple H). Dustin came out with half face paint. The two circled each other for a while, and the crowd was chanting that it was awesome. Dustin absolutely laid into Cody with some crazy shots, and Cody almost walked away, but managed to get back in the ring. At one point, Cody distracted the ref a bit, which allowed Brandi to hit him in the head with a water bottle. The crowd was so loud for this match. At one point, Cody was set up for the kick to the balls that he used to do, and Cody removed the turnbuckle. Dustin saw, threw the turnbuckle in the crowd, but was then sent face first into it. This “busted him open,” so he bladed. Brandi then speared Dustin, and was thrown out, with DDP carrying her away. Dustin was absolutley gushing blood, and Cody nailed him with a curb stomp for a near fall. Cody nearly whipped Dustin with the belt, but threw it away, only for Dustin to grab it and whip his bare ass with it. Dustin was able to hit a superplex, followed by the final cut, but just for two. Cody then fought back and hit a cross rhodes only for two. Dustin then hit cross rhodes for another near fall. Cody was able to hit his back sliding piledriver, and followed it up with a Cross Rhodes to finish it.

After the match, Cody got on the mic and said that Dustin didn’t get to retire here. The crowd was chanting thank you, but Cody said that he couldn’t retire. He needed a partner for a match against the Young Bucks next month. He said that he didn’t need a partner, he needed a brother. The two started crying, and then embraced. They left the ring together.

Grade: A. This was much much better than I thought it would be. The crowd made the match a hell of a lot better. They were super hot, and it made the emotion and drama increase exponentially. They beat each other down, and the story accompanying it made the match that much better. This was awesome, and I hope we see more matches like this from Cody in the future. This was great, and I hope that it is evident of the type of story telling that will be around in this company.

Then we had the belt presentation, and Bret fucking Hart came out. I marked out like crazy. Hart cut a promo, basically just putting AEW over. He then called out Adam Page, who is one of the #1 contenders for the belt in a few months. MJF then came out, to an asshole chant. He said that they bought a ticket to see him, so they should shut up. He is a phenomenal heel. He called Page a horse, and said that when a horse had a bad leg, you shoot it. Then he said that Page should give up his title shot, and shit on Hart for having a bad catchphrase. Jungle boy then came out, to confront him. MJF called him a prepubescent teenager, and walked past him. Jimmy Havoc then came out, and he was stuck between all three guys. They kicked his ass, through the crowd, as Hart showed the belt for the first time.

Grade: A-. Jesus MJF can talk. He carried this segment, along with the awesome Bret Hart appearance. This was super good, and I hope that he becomes a big part of the product, because he is phenomenal. I love him. Bret Hart was a shocking appearance, and it was super cool to see him. The belt looks beautiful as well.

Then we had Young Bucks vs. The Lucha Bros for the AAA World Tag Team Championships. This was given a big fight feel. Young bucks weren’t completely on the same page, having some flubs together early on. Fenix and Nick seemed to be completely evenly matched. the Lucha Bros hit their signature offense early on. At one point, Fenix strung Nick up on the ropes, while using Matt to balance going up to the top rope. Fenix hit a superkick on the top rope, and then springboarded to hit Nick with the hurricanrana. Later on, Matt hit Fenix and Penta with several northern lights suplexes, and nearly locked in a sharpshooter but got shut down. The Bucks were able to lock in the sharpshooters at one point, and they barely got to the ropes. At one point, The Bucks hit a powerbomb and flipping over with a neckbreaker for a near fall. They then hit a flurry of kicks and chops until everyone fell over. At another, Fenix ducked so that Penta could hit a destroyer on the apron to Matt, followed by a Destroyer to Nick in the ring. Another time had Penta holding Nick in the package piledriver position, with Matt in the gory special, and dropped them down. Fenix followed up with a swanton to Nick for an incredible near fall. Matt then drilled Fenix with a brainbuster on the top rope, and gave Penta more bang for your buck for a near fall again. The Bucks then hit Penta with fear factor, and Nick ran to hit a plancha to Fenix, but still only a near fall. Penta then drilled Matt with the armbreaker and the pentagon driver for a near fall. Fenix started to work the arm, superkicking it, but got caught trying to continue. Matt pulled him up for a Meltzer Driver. Nick then superkicked Penta on the outside, and got up for the Meltzer Driver, and got the win.

Grade: A. This was a phenomenal match. The Young Bucks became a coherent team again, and went through hell to do it. I think that the kickouts at the end were a little much, I like a bit more buildup in my near falls like that, but it was still incredibly exciting. They flew around like crazy, and beat the crap out of each other. It looks like the tag team division in AEW will be awesome.

And finally, the main event. Chris Jericho vs. Kenny Omega. Winner faces Adam Page for the AEW World Championship. Jericho went through a bunch of his his gimmicks before actually making his entrance. Omega had some new music. They had a cracker barrel in the ring, probably a sponsor. They had trouble getting it out of the ring, so Jericho picked it up and shoved it through the second rope, and then yelled at the ref. The two started out with a slugfest, beating each other down. Early on, Omega tried to do a move off of the barricade, but Jericho pushed Omega into the crowd. Omega was busted open early on, bleeding from the nose. Jericho tried to introduce a table into the match, but Omega dropkicked it, and then a tope con hilo to both. Then he did a springboard double stomp to the table. That was when Omega started up the v triggers, destroying Jericho’s head from the back. At another point, Jericho started to fight back, and dumped Omega out of the ring and through a table. Omega went for a frog splash at one point, but Jericho countered with a codebreaker, but he waited too long for the cover and only got a near fall. Jericho nearly locked in a lion tamer, but Omega countered it and was able to hit a powerbomb for a near fall. Jericho was able to get the walls in, eventually transitioning into a lion tamer, but Omega fought out and nailed a v trigger. Jericho was able to hit yet another codebreaker, but did not go for the pin. Instead, he waited for him to get up, and hit a spinning back elbow called the judas effect for the win.

After the match, Jericho got on the mic. He yelled at them for booing him, and he said that he was the best guy in AEW, he owns the company. He is the biggest star through and through. He claimed that every success the company had was because of him. He demanded that the fans thanked him, and then, mutherfucking Jon Moxley showed up. He killed Jericho with dirty deeds, and then did it to the ref. He tried to hit Omega with hit, but Omega was able to tackle him out of the ring, and they brawled into the crowd. He eventually was able to climb on top of the giant poker chips, and he gave Omega a dirty deeds on the stack, and then slammed him off of it, onto a box that broke.

Grade: A. I bumped that up a grade after the post match angle. This was a great match, although not the best on the card, but that mammoth debut was awesome. In the match itself, it didn’t quite have the same feel as their first match, but they tore the house down nontheless. They were really really good, and I am really unsure of who will be winning the AEW World Championship when that time comes.

Predictions: 5/9. Imma say that I got the battle royal right, cuz I said that Page would win whatever match he was in.

Overall Grade: A-. I’m bumping it up a bit because of the historic nature of the show, and how hot they were coming right out of the gate.

Pros: Guevara vs. Sabian; 6-man tag; best friends vs. angelico & evans; 6-woman tag; cody vs. dustin; belt presentation; AAA tag team championship; main event; moxley debut

Cons: battle royal

Just throwing this in at the end of the review. I normally hate writing the tags for these posts, but I am genuinely so excited to say that I am writing an AEW review right now. Just saying

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summerdownbeach · 6 years

Text

Gonna edit for grammar and spelling later...

Getting a little irked here by the people defending Voltron S8, because they assume everyone's issues are purely related to shipping. I never really cared who ended up with who at all, (only that everyone should want to date Hunk because he's perfect boyfriend material). Guys, the writing was just bad. It was a poorly written season, a poorly written finale, and honestly, it gave a piss ass message about giving up and letting a friend destroy themselves for the greater good. Not gonna go into to much detail here but these are just a few of my complaints:

1. Pacing and Story telling. The pacing of this season was bizarre. They started off with essentially a filler episode to quickly throw in Allurance as cannon (with some hella stiff dialogue but we'll get to that later) and then had like... a few episodes to justify bringing back old characters so we could get a last glimpse. Then 2 filler episodes in a row, then a straight run to the finish with a thrown together plotline. Literally nothing in this show prefaced Haggar as the big bad. 90 percent of the time she didn't seem to even want Lot or around, much less want anything to do with Altea or her own affiliations. The Alteans who followed her never felt like fully thought out characters either. They ended the last season with the red haired Altean pilot giving way to tons of theories about her past and who she could be, but she was literally just a drone set to die 5 minutes after introduction. That's bad forshadowing.

2. Important off screen plot points. Why on earth would they do this? Why would pink general just suddenly switch to the coillition? Why did they make us think she died in the explosion and then backtrack two minutes later? Why did they end the show with Shiro and Adam's big gay kiss (yes, it's Adam, listen to the audio description, they literally day it's Adam) without ever establishing Adam's return? They could've easily spent a scene where team Voltron returns to earth to grieve and find that in this new timeline (because yes, it's a new timeline despite what the characters think, if destroyed planets are suddenly back) Adam didn't die and is waiting for Shiro. They could've given them a real moment, developed their (nonexistent on screen) relationship and at least made their big moment at the end less sudden and so clearly damage control from burying their gay last season.

3. Relationship dialogue. I don't want to harp on Allur*nce as a ship itself here. It's not my thing, but I'm positive fan fiction writers and fanartists have made some pretty awesome stuff that's well made and fun to read and look at. I'm strictly looking at the shows portrayal of it. My number 1 complaint? The bizarrely platonic dialougue whenever the two talk. I'll give Lance this, he seemed at least interested in their romance this season, but whenever she and Lance talked, it was all just so formal - and half of what she said was exposition. Even during their date, and Alluras big reveal about feeling alone on earth felt so strangely platonic, and I truly believe that is the gault of the writers. They should've planted moments of growth between these two seasons ago! Not simply kept going with this tired and unrealistic "boy wears girl down until she says yes" trope. Even if they w erent certain they were going to go ahead with Allura and Lance, they could've built in friendship bolstering moments. Then, this date could've been so much less clunky. And to have Lance tell Allura he loves her on the first date? Even if it wasn't unrealistic, it also takes out any of the impact that the phrase carries later. By the time of her sacrifice Lance has said it onscreen so much that "I love you" has little to no weight. No wonder it was so easy for Allura to yeet herself into the void - she never exactly returned his sentiments - being too busy with exposition dialogue to make any strides in their (budding) relationship. Again, I have no problem with Allur*nce, only the lazy and ineffective way it was portrayed in the last few seasons.

4. Allura's sacrifice. I'm not even going to get into the political implications of making the Black woman bear the burden of the universe on her shoulders to the point where she literally has to sacrifice her body and soul to save the cosmos. I'm talking the actual execution of how they went about it. There's this concept in fiction writing where your most dramatic scene, your climax, should use an economy of words and time to be the most effective. That's why it hurts so much in movies like Wonder Woman, and even Titanic, when lead characters die. There usually is no time for goodbye, or if there is, it's brief and visual. Instead, the writers chose to give Allura an absurdly long time to say goodbye to everyone, and what's crazy is, no one but Lance objected? Like at all? They just accepted right away that there was no other way. I never took them as a fatalist bunch but hey, why stick to human characteristics now. Clearly the only person who should object to you self sacrificing is your significant other. This is why so much sacrifice in narrative is done in a way that refuses to give loved ones time to react because any sane person would at least try to stop them initially, and grasp at straws for another solution. I hated how the team just shrugged their shoulders and let Allura kill herself for the greater good. Their silence wasn't tragic, it was lazy.

5. Their lions just... left? The universe is done needing defense? Just like that? How did everyone get home from their princess death picnic? Do they make uberpools for space travel? Did they all agree not to be paladins anymore before this? What about Hunks dream of handing off the reins of Yellow to the next generation of paladins? Why did they write it this way? Who did this? Who do I blame?

I think what frustrates me the most is that the comedic episodes were still good. I truly think filler has always been the strongest asset voltron had. The dynamics were always much stronger in the funny episodes, and it seems like they wasted a lot of potential this season with rushed plot points and filling plotholes off screen.

I have more issues with this season, and I'll post them when I feel like adding to this list, but to say that people didn't like S8 because their ship didn't happen is obnoxious, especially when a season full of plot holes and rushed explanations is what we were left with. And on the subject of dissappointment, i didnt go over it here, but people being upset at the queer baiting are so valid. Even if you weren't into Kl*nce, the producers pretty much tried to sell the show on it. To use lgbt content, especially content that was never going to be cannon, as a marketing tactic is despicable. While strides were made by the show, airing the first animation of men kissing on screen in an show aimed at kids, the victory leaves a bad taste when the couple in question was never justified in the narrative beforehand, and was used as a ploy to fulfill the promise of lgbt rep, without actually using any of the budding relationships developing in the show (not limited to Kl*nce by any means. They could've done Sh*ith, H*ith, H*nce, ect).

If this season felt complete and left you with a feeling of contentment, good for you, I too enjoy a guilty pleasure as much as the next person. That said, this was a badly written season on all fronts. I think they did Allura and Allur*nce dirty with the resolution. They missed opportunities for character development in favor of more repetitive space battles. Don't try to invalidate people's contempt at this season by defending the creators for making the show in the first place, when they didn't live up to the standards of narrative fiction to get a passing grade in a creative writing class.

And because I want to end on something nice, I thought that the meeting of the old paladins and the new paladins was very cool, and it was really interesting to see Zarkon interact with the paladins in a new way. So... at least there's that?

#spoilers #spoiler #voltron spoilers #voltron season 8 #vld #vld s8 #vld spoilers #vld season 8 #vld shiro #vld keith #vld lance #vldallura #vldpidge #vldhunk #voltron #voltron legendary defender #voltron legendary disappointment #voltron legendary disaster #voltron legendary discourse

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eorzeasntm · 6 years

Photo

Eorzea’s Next Top Model Tumblr Cycle Ten

Round 1 Results

Round One is over already! For last week’s challenge, I asked the models to go out and fight something cute. Many cute things were slain, but the model who did some slaying of her own was:

Lily Lycoris

Congratulations! You’re the winner of the first round of ENTM Cycle 10. That cactuar didn’t know what was gonna hit him.

For the models, our judges have some critiques for you below the fold! This week, I asked the judges to do a bit of overlapping to ensure each model got two different perspectives. (Starting with Round 2, we will drop down to one critique per model, but from different judges than this week.)

Judge Kai

Week One, and here we go! Good luck to all of the models, and I can’t wait to see what you do with the challenges to come!

Azalea: This is a nice image, but I’m not sure if it fits the overall theme of fighting. It, more so, looks like they snuck up on you and gave you a shock! That said, the outfit is cute, and I like that you make it match the little Mandragora color theme. The pose is a little awkward, and I wish you’d pulled yourself a bit closer to the camera so we could see you better. The layout and your set up of the image are very nice and my eye went straight to you when I first saw it. But, be careful of brightening an image, it is giving your dress a very white glowy look and could make an image look a bit overexposed. Overall, good job!

Chee: First off, great job choosing to use a dark outfit against such a bright background. It makes you pop with my eye going right to you, and even though the background has taken on an overexposed quality, it doesn't affect your character’s darker theme. I love that you kept your character up front and highly visible, but a little sad you cut off the sword since this is a battle shot. The bright flash in the center is a little distracting, so just keep an eye on that. You don’t want the effects being used to upstage you! Overall, I think you did a great job for the first week so keep it up!

Haila: I will admit, I am not a big fan of backshots unless it actually adds something to the image - which (to me) doesn’t seem to happen often. In this case, awesome job! It gives me this overall sense of you being backed into a corner and this is truly a fight for your life. Very well lit and you were smart to pick the outfit you did because it doesn’t really blend in and makes you stand out in a… very crowded situation lol. Those raptors are out for your blood, and I don’t see you going down without a fight. Though, I’m unsure if I would consider them a -small- friend. But in this case, I don’t really care because this is a very well set up image!

Lantis: Good image and you did a good job lighting it. It looks like you’re taking quite a beating there. These Mandies are not happy with you, and I will admit that this image made me smile. Reminds me of one of those people taking hits to find out how tough they are, lol. I do wish you were a bit closer and dominate in the shot, there are a lot of Mandragora’s to compete with and they are very bright and it did draw my eye to them. That said, the outfit (paired with your skin tone) makes you pop out against all of the green in the background. You got great ideas and I like them, just remember you’re the star!

Rymm: So I am guessing these are the type of cat’s with a very ‘a typical’ personality and don’t appreciate pets lol. This is a nice shot and I love that you made it a tall shot to get the other flying cat in the shot as well. The sunset in the background is lovely, and I like the outfit you picked out. The top matches the colors of the sky without being to blendy. The outfit as a whole makes you stand out against everything going on around you. It does feel like it’s a bit underlit - but, like me, you’re a fair skinned character so we have to be careful on lighting. A trick I use is full on light set at good a distance. It still lights up the surroundings and yourself but doesn’t make us glow. If you need just a little extra light on you, good old sun minion! Good job!

Judge Vederah

Chee: I absolutely adore the coloring of the shot. That bright light in the center along with the beams emanating from that point gives off that feeling that something really powerful is about to happen to that little monster. My only issue is that same pro also ended up as a little bit of a con. I am so drawn to the center of the image that I almost didn't pay attention to the deep eye because he was on the farther edge of the image. James: There's a visually interesting contrast between cool and warm colors happening here. I like that the only warm toned parts of this picture is the graphic of the lance as well as the attack animation around the Korpokkur. I just wish it was a little more well lit around your character. The dark shades of your glamour are starting to blend in with the background. Lily: The DoF in this picture is perfect. The cactuar is slightly blurred- but not so much that you miss those lines and dimples of its skin.All the while the Miqote draws our eye by being crisp, in focus, and may I say quite well dressed. My only half-hearted critique here is that I keep going back and forth on whether or not I'd like this image to be zoomed out a touch more. I'd love to see the rest of the look and a bit more of the "monster". Ni'ko: I'm a sucker for pink, and the heavy concentration of pink towards the left of the photograph and how it's also faded out into the sky as we move farther to the right in the picture really works in your favor here. I love how both characters in this shot look like they're in motion to attack-- but the challenge was to be fighting each other. The fact that your character is facing away from the Moogle makes it appear more so that you're fighting along side him. Ysildor: I love how warm this image is- especially now that Autumn is finally starting to come around. While I love the tone of the image, I just wish it was lit a bit better. The shadows in this picture are really dark and we lose some of those little details of both your character and the Kidragora. That being said, I do like the camera angle this image was taken with. It makes the Kidragora seem a little larger and more intimidating of an opponent

Judge Rongi

Adam, for this week’s battle shot you were smart to use effects to help guide the viewer’s eyes, since the background isn’t visible. The lightning bolts on either side of you guide our eyes up and down the center of the shot showing off both you and the monster. I like how each mandragora is a different color (green, orange, and purple) as it gives a little more variety. Your subtitle made me laugh as well. My idea for this photoshoot, would be to have you over on the left and the mobs more on the right, in the exact same plane they are in now, but instead of how this photo is so centered, you’d have a really nice diagonal going across the image, giving it more depth and filling out the empty spaces on the sides. For next week, don’t be afraid to take a non-centered shot, and really work to fill out the whole image. Good luck!

Haila, for this week’s shot you brought a little pop culture into the competition, and it’s a really great shot. I love the balance you have between you and the 3 mobs, and the background is great. I love how we can see some depth in between the left two raptors. If you keep producing shots like this, I think you will be a force to reckon with over the next 8 weeks. I want to bring up two things though. While this is a beautiful shot, and one of the strongest this week, I feel like it isn’t a battle shot. This may be where the pop culture reference hurts you because in this scene of the movie, they are trying to calm the beasts…not fight them. That scene, plus your pose (again, a great pose and perfectly balanced with the mobs) really makes this seem like a “scene” instead of a “battle.” The second thing is, my idea of a little monster is something at least smaller than you yourself. For me, these mobs are not small at all. So while this shot is absolutely gorgeous and shows that you are definitely a seasoned screenshotter, I feel like it misses the mark on the theme itself. For next week, I hope you can take your skills and really match them to the theme 100%. Good luck! I know you can do it.

Lantis, this weeks shot is a great example of layers! I love all the mandragora piled up in the corner and all the layers we get between them. Looking from one to the other is entertaining and fun. Your subtitle is funny and makes me think they are attacking you saying “one of us! One of us!” haha. I am sure you already know what most of the judges are going to say. There is a lot of open space on the right side! An easy fix would have been to turn your camera to the right, filling the entire left side with mandragoras and the right side with you. Plus, youd be closer to the camera which would block out the background and bring more focus to you. While I definitely love the depth we get from your background, it feels forced instead of natural (like Haila’s depth for example. Your pose feels a little less battleshot than some of the other model”s shots for me. Next week, I want you work on not centering yourself in your shots and filling out the whole screen. The layers we got this week on the Mandys, I want to se stuff like that throughout the whole screenshot! Good luck!

Nadede, this shot is really gorgeous. I love the color scheme. Not only did you match the oer all colors between the mobs crystal and your effect, you also chose an outfit that really matches the adventure theme of the shot. It’s definitely a battle shot, but its also a great model shot as we can see so much of you. Because you aren’t looking anywhere in particular, I do feel a little bit of disconnect between you and the monster though. Had you been looking at the mob, I think we would have got a nice profile shot (I love profile shots!). You are definitely a pro and know what the judges are looking for. The hard part this cycle is going to standing out against so many models. So far, you are doing it. For next week, continue what you are doing matching all the elements and I think you have a good chance at taking the crown. Good luck!

Ona, this shot is a rarity indeed. It is perfectly centered!!! I love how little the background is seen, limiting the empty space that we do see in a few of the other shots this round. I think you know what most judges are going to say. It works as a battle shot, and centering it was definitely a good choice, but we cant see you or the mob very well at all. I think you were going for a silhouette shot, but the lens flare in the center makes you unbalanced and darker at the bottom than the top. Next week, watch you effects and how they limit your visibility as a model. Good luck!

Ysildor, this shot is balanced wonderfully. The sunset with the filter choice give it a really warm color that just looks really nice. Even your outfit color is a nice brown that fits the woods setting and filter color. The location of you and the mob are perfect and fill out the entire center of the image giving us very little empty space. The tilt and the horizon line guide our lines across the image quite nicely. While your screenshot is gorgeous though, I do feel like it is less of a battle shot than others this round. It’s a little bit too stoic. From this shot, I can tell that this isn’t your first time taking screen shots. If you focus on matching the theme 100% you could definitely be Eorzea’s Next Top Model. For next week, keep doing what you are doing and I think you will rank really well this cycle. Good luck!

Judge Kusuh

Azeala: The torn frame on this, alongside the bright filter and your outfit, really make this look like a scene straight out of a storybook! Though, the high camera angle plus the mandragora in the foreground draw my attention away from you and more towards what you're fighting. Having the camera profile between both sides or being closer to the camera with a slightly lower angle (so it's like the mobs are looking up at you about to destroy them!) would take this picture to the next level. Cowbot: The Wall Frame in gpose is one of my favorites, and I think it's used really well here! With the placement of the mandragoras it looks like this is something straight out of a comic book or a dramatic freeze frame in an anime. Unfortunately, though, the brightness of the spell you are casting totally erases your face, which actually makes it look like you're the one losing this fight. Lily: This shot feels like it's straight out of a modern-western movie! The look on your face plus the raised arms of the cactuar really are nice touches that really give off a sense of tension and anticipation. I think what would take this combat shot to the next level would be to have the gun actually firing for the shot, I feel that would give a more "active combat" feel. Ni'ko: Personally, I'm such a sucker for dramatic lighting, and this really delivers the feel of a very charged encounter. The position of the moogle in relation to yourself is something that gives me pause, though. From the way it's set up, it more looks to me you two are both fighting on the same side, as opposed to against each other. Having either yours or the moogle's back to the camera would be a good way to remedy this! Rymm: Oh no the cats! This shot really looks like you don't want to be harming these mobs, which I can tell is your intent from your description, so good on you for that! Having the second cat high above you in the air also adds to the comedy of this shot! My main suggestion for you is to play around with the placement of your lights in gpose. You're pretty dark in this shot, and feel like some cooler (temperature-wise) lighting would brighten you up a bit more! Wren: The ladybugs may not be a fan of your outfit, but I am! I love how you managed to catch multiple ladybugs in the middle of attacking, which really makes this feel like a combat shot. Personally, I would zoom in the shot slightly with the gpose camera zoom so that you are more central to the shot and conflict.

Judge M'Telihgo

First off, to everyone, welcome to ENTM. It takes courage to put yourself out there in front of your peers and other and let them judge away at you. Regardless of anything else, be proud of having that courage,

Adam: I like the lightning in your screenshot, it definitely sells that you are combat. I like the coloring from the lightning, it is a dark shot and their color adds an easy focus. I do feel that the darkness does make it hard to see any background however, I like that area and would have loved to have seen more of it. While many people picked Mandragoras, I think they added to your screenshot as you could get many of them into your screenshot and line them up. I really liked your entry this week.

Cowbot: Welcome back to another round. While most people would not like the split frame effect, and I understand why, I like that you tried anyway. I do see how you put yourself in the middle frame and the monsters in the sides. Your spell effect is hiding your face however, we want to see you too, not just the monsters! I like how I can still your background clearly and I still think the choice of mandragora is appropriate. Well done!

James: This was one of my favorite screenshots of the week. I like the contrast of the white leaves with the darker background, they almost make me think of a spooky ghost in a haunted forest. More on that another time. I like how we see both the effect on the monster that looks like you have sliced it in half as well as your pose would match, well done. A little more light on the trees would have been nice, but not a major point. Also, you did not pick a mandragora, so good job by you!

Nadede: Also, welcome back to ENTM. I like this screenshot from you. I like how your shirt and especially the talisman stick out from the dark background. I would not have thought about doing a Spriggan for my own entry if I was competing, so I like your choice of monster very much. However, I do think that the darker creature on a dark background, especially at an edge, makes it blend in a little too much, an effect may have helped with that. Even with that, I still like it.

Ona: Wow. I am not usually a fan of silhouette shots, but I like this one! While I like the starburst behind you, I do not see a monster in there. Is there one there and I can’t see it or is the Sylph next to you the target? I also would not have done a Sylph myself, so thumbs up from me on your choice of foe. I do think a little more light in the background would help it come out more but I think this screenshot does very well even without that.

Wren: I love the Black Shroud, I hated it in 1.0, but the new version is much, much better, obviously, a plus from me on your choice of location! I like the contrast of both you and your target with the background, makes you and your foe really stand out. If I were to try something different, it would be the angle. I like your battle effect, but I think a little different angle or timing to line it up better could be additive to your screenshot. Even with saying that, I do like your choice of ability and your choice of foe. I look forward to seeing more of your screenshots in the future.

#ffxiv #eorzea's next top model #entm tumblr #entm tumblr cycle 10

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wineanddinosaur · 3 years

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EOD Drinks With Shannon Mustipher

In this special episode of “End Of Day Drinks,” VinePair’s editorial team is joined by Shannon Mustipher, a NYC-based bartender, author, cocktail consultant, and spirits educator specializing in tiki and rum. Mustipher details her experience in working in the world of spirits and becoming a student of rum, an often overlooked spirit among American consumers.

Mustipher also explains how the Caribbean became an influence in the style of her cocktails. Finally, Shannon discusses the future of rum cocktails amid the ongoing pandemic and gives listeners a sneak peak into her future ventures.

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Joanna Sciarrino: Hi, everyone! Welcome to End of Day Drinks. I’m Joanna Sciarrino, executive editor of VinePair. And as always, I’m here with members of the VinePair team. We’ve got Tim McKirdy, Elgin Nelson, and Cat Wolinski. Today, we’re joined by guest Shannon Mustipher, award-winning bartender, spirits educator, cocktail consultant, and author of “Tiki: Modern Tropical Cocktails.” Welcome, Shannon. Thank you for joining us.

Shannon Mustipher: It’s great to be here. As always, it is fun to spend some time with the VinePair crew. Thanks for having me.

J: Of course. Shannon, among all these other things, you’re also a rum expert, which is pretty awesome. We definitely want to talk about Women Who Tiki and your book and everything else. First, we’d love to hear more about your interest in rum and cane spirits and how you came to be so familiar with the category. Also, you touched on this briefly in a piece for VinePair but how you learned about the history of rum cocktails and their significance in modern-day drinks culture. I think that’s really interesting and something that people probably don’t know a lot about.

S: Yeah, I like to say I was drafted into service here as prior to becoming beverage director at Gladys Caribbean. That was in 2015, when I knew next to nothing about the category. For those of you who may be less familiar with the New York bar scene over the last decade or so, at that time, there was next to nothing going on where rum cocktails, tiki or otherwise, were concerned in the influential bar spaces. If you look at Back Bar, maybe there were three or four options. For myself, prior to taking that job, my main interest in spirits and cocktails was more based on American classics, pre-Prohibition era cocktails, gin and whiskey. Up until that point, I think I had three or four rums tops. Bacardi, Smith and Cross, Blackwells, Goslings, maybe. I think that was the extent of it so I didn’t know anything. Looking back, that was actually beneficial. I had no preconceived notion going in as to what the category is going to be like or what I would end up doing with the drinks as a result. I had about 30 days to taste somewhere between 200 and 250 rums to come up with Gladys Caribbean’s opening selection of 50. It’s hazy. That’s why I say 200, 250, because those are some hazy days, but they’re really enlightening and eye-opening. I was pleasantly surprised and shocked by what I discovered as I started to taste through rums from all over the world. Up until that point, the only thing I knew about rum cocktails was that there is a Mojito, a Daiquiri, and I’d never had a really good one up until that point. Then a handful of tiki drinks that I’ve heard of that are pretty ubiquitous, like the Mai Tai or the Zombie, and that was it. I took a deep dive first by reading Jeff “Beachbum” Berry’s books because he just released “Potions of the Caribbean.” It was a really cool primer on the history of rum in the Caribbean and how that led up to the invention of tiki. I like to think of him as a tiki guy, but the book covers quite a bit more than that, and that was super cool. I also read books like “Cuban Cocktails.” Jane Danger was one of the authors of that book. Those are my crash-course guides to learning about rum cocktails when it came to learning more about the role that rum drinks played in the history of American cocktails. A few years into opening the bar when I had a little more time, I started to revisit books like “The Ideal Bartender” by Tom Bullock, the Jerry Thomas “Bartenders Guide,” looking at books like “Punch” and realizing that in colonial America, rum was the spirit of choice. First, because it was the easy thing to get here. This is before corn and wheat became a staple crop, and people weren’t really making a lot of whiskey. It just made more sense to either get rum from the Caribbean as part of trade or to bring up molasses and do distillation here. A fun fact, the favorite spirit or preferred spirit of George Washington was actually Barbadian rum. I learned that the earliest punches were made with rum. Some of the earliest examples of the Mint Julep were based on rum. There were examples of Old Fashioneds that were also based on rum. These started to fall out of favor in the 1850s, and maybe we can unpack that a little bit later, but rum is the basis of American drinking culture.

Elgin Nelson: Hi Shannon, I want to talk about the Caribbean. I’m currently in the Bahamas right now. What I’ve noticed is that rum plays a big part in the drinking culture down there. Do you draw any inspiration or share any background in terms of the Caribbean influence on rum? I know you spoke about reading books on why rum is such a big influence in the Caribbean. However, did you use any Caribbean style or influence when you started making cocktails?

S: Oh, yeah. It was absolutely essential that I did it because I really wanted the bar at Glady’s — and this is per the owner’s passion and point of view and why he wanted to do this concept in the first place — I wanted to reflect the way I would feel to taste and drink rum in rum drinks as if you were on the island. The menu at a restaurant, the centerpiece of it was wood fire jerk. That covered not only chicken and pork, but seafood. With a really simple set of side dishes. The vibe was just make to feel like a beach shack. I didn’t want to deviate from that where the bar is concerned. I started off with a really simple menu that was based on traditional things that you would find on an island. For instance, the rum punch, we always had one on the menu. It would rotate seasonally, but we needed to have that because that’s authentic to when you spend time in the Caribbean. Likewise, we had a Painkiller that was based on what you would get at the Soggy Dollar Bar. Our Daiquiri that was on the opening menu was based on a historical recipe from El Floridita in Havana that a lot of people had not seen in the U.S. for some time. Having that history there was really important, too. Over time, as the restaurant grew in the neighborhood, I eventually put edgier drinks on the menu. This is Crown Heights, mind you. I didn’t want it to be about my take on rum from the outset. I wanted to be on the authentic experience of rum, which is what we were selling. Then, I let my personality come out a little bit as I got more comfortable with it as well. Case in point: One of the things I learned about rum as I was tasting all the bottles was that there are some rums that you see on islands that you don’t see in the U.S. and vice versa. I try to have this healthy mix of bottles that are very ubiquitous in the Caribbean and maybe you never see in the U.S., and then go easy on bottles that are actually more designed for American consumers and never really show up in the islands. One specific example, Forest Park is a puncheon rum. That’s an overproof white rum from Trinidad. Bartenders don’t use that stuff, but I had guests that totally lit up when they saw it. I wanted to make sure that someone could revisit what it was like growing up there or visiting whatever island they’ve been to.

Tim McKirdy: Shannon, can you describe that feeling behind the bar? Because you mentioned before that you were coming into this from a professional place of making the modern American classics as we know them or the cocktail renaissance drinks. Those are really high-quality drinks. But in some respects, maybe the setting is a little darker or people take themselves quite seriously, whereas trying to transport people to the traditional settings where you’d enjoy these cocktails. Did it change the way that you experience service, drinks, and interacting with guests?

S: Well, up until that point, I’d worked primarily in fast-casual Brooklyn neighborhood-type spots. For instance, I worked at Saraghina, I worked at Do or Dive. I did stints in other places as well, but I did prefer a more neighborhood feel. For me, I felt that I was disguising elevated cocktails in this casual form because they were served very casually. I needed them to be as good as drinks that you find in the East Village. I was really adamant that we were all using fresh lime juice, which at that time was crazy because Mexican cartels were putting a squeeze in the market, and each lime cost a dollar. The owner was like, “are you crazy?” It was nuts. It was right before we were opening, and I wanted to use fresh lime. I did not want to use pre-packaged juice in these drinks. I refused, because I knew that rum didn’t have a great reputation at the time. In order for that program to be successful, in my eyes, I needed people to experience not only authentic rums, but also the best-quality version of these drinks so that they wouldn’t walk away thinking they had yet another sugary rum drink. We even went so far as to squeeze our juice to order at the bar for each Daiquiri that we made. I wanted to send that message to the guests that their drink is not coming out of a cheater bottle. They could see that this is actual fresh lime juice that we’re squeezing right here in front of you for this Daiquiri that you’re about to get.

Cat Wolinski: Speaking to the freshness of citrus being so important to any cocktails that use it, but especially tiki, do you think that tiki drinks or rum drinks that incorporate lime or other citrus is something that will become part of this larger ready-to-drink (RTD) canned cocktail space? Or do you think it always has to be right there in front of you, freshly made?

S: No, it doesn’t always have to be. Again, there are different geeked-out opinions about squeezing it right then and there or squeezing it before service. I was doing that as a way to send a message that people can see it was fresh. However, from a more scientific perspective, if you juice it a few hours before, it’s actually better because a little bit of oxidation gets into the juice and will balance it out better. Whereas if you’re doing à la minute, there’s a chance that the flavor can be slightly off. Yet there is a way that we built that drink that would offset that problem. Nevertheless, the juice should be pressed the same day and not used the next day. I don’t see that going anywhere, because it’s just so standard right now that any bar that doesn’t keep that level of quality, they’re just not going to be able to compete.

C: Right. What about as bars are creating cocktails to-go or prepackaged drinks? Do you think there’s a chance for tiki to move into that?

S: I love that you ask because as chance would have it, I just made a tiki RTD this weekend. It was for a pop-up at Fuchsia in New Paltz. I worked on this in collaboration with Eamon Rockey. He supplied one of the ingredients in the cocktail. It is called Bird of Paradise and it is a white Jungle Bird. We used a combination of citrus and citric acid solutions for shelf stability. I think you’ll see some people, if they’re carrying the cocktail as we did, err more on the side of using malic acid and citric acid just so it keeps longer. If it’s a to-go that the bar is reasonably confident the guest is going to consume within the same day or two, I still see people doing fresh juice. Strong Water in Anaheim, they use fresh juice. Most other programs I know do that as well. Now, when you start moving into the can, that’s where you go to see people veering off into two directions. Are we going to just do juice only? Are we going to do juice and acid? Or are we just going to do acid? At Fuchsia, we used juice and acid. In a case of another project I’m working on that I cannot divulge here — I can tell you about it after we wrap because it has not been announced yet — I’m doing an RTD with an L.A.-based company and we’re just using acid in this cocktail.

J: Yeah, so I have a follow-up to that. When you were talking about becoming more confident with your cocktails the more time you spent at Gladys, and I’m guessing that your guests were receptive to those drinks. What do you think the future of tropical cocktails is and what do you envision your role will be in that?

S: One of the things I observed when Glady’s opened, there was next to nothing was going on, rum cocktail-wise. Then, you start to see more mainstream programs have things like a Jungle Bird or Mai Tai or at least the ingredients to make it. If someone asks for it, you start to see the Daiquiri emerge just like the bartender handshake. We call them Snackerquiris where you go into the bar, your friend’s working, and you get a half-Daiquiri or you do little shots of Daiquiris with your friends. That’s basically a thing no matter where you go, be it tiki tropical or otherwise. It’s just a way of saying, “I love you.” Now, you see places like Blacktail open and that was a Cuban-style bar, but they did a little bit of tiki here and there. Now, it’s come full circle, where I know there are some people that are questioning whether tiki is something that we want to keep doing, given the cultural connotations. You are starting to see bars and restaurants either choose a nautical theme or tropical theme? There is Navy Strength in Seattle. They have tiki drinks but are not a tiki bar. There’s the Coconut Club in Washington, D.C. Again, it’s a tropical bar with a Polynesian-ish seafood menu, but it’s not tiki. They’re not saying that they are. Even locally, a place like Diamond Reef is more of a nautical bar. I think the tropical drinks are going to start to encompass other spirits apart from rum as well, as you see people move away from overtly tiki things. That’s when you see more agaves, more Margaritas, even things such as pisco and brandy starting to make an appearance. The drink builds might resemble tiki drinks, but they can be a little simpler, maybe four ingredients instead of seven or eight, because tiki bars are very expensive to run. If you want to go broke as an operator, open a tiki bar. I think especially post-pandemic, operators have to be more cost-conscious and also labor-conscious because tiki programs are very labor-intensive. The Polynesian’s prep crew all by themselves, I’m sure their payroll allocation rivaled the whole bar staff. That’s how much production has to go into that. I think there will be some people that continue to love the genre, but I think we’re starting to see more tropical and nautical bars that come into play now.

T: Shannon and I wish we were having this conversation last week because I had a real-world scenario where I could be asking this question and wish I had. However, to that end, with tropical drinks, many require a lot of ingredients. I was wondering if you could give us any tips or certain things that you should always have on hand. Possibly, a small selection that would open up a range of possibilities and possibly not like Polynesian-levels of prep because they went pretty deep.

S: Yeah, I’d say there are three syrups, three juices, and three types of spirits that if you always had them, you could come up with a really simple punch. As for syrups, you want to have cinnamon clove syrup. It’s a simple syrup that’s infused with cinnamon and cloves. It’s so easy. You just put the spices in there and let it simmer. Honey syrup is also really easy to make. It’s just half and half honey and water, or maybe two to one. You can also add spices to that. Vanilla syrup is nice. It’s a little more subtle, and if you’re doing drinks with gin or vodka, that is a really nice complement to the flavor profiles of those types of spirits. It’s important to note that with vanilla syrup, you want to use a vanilla bean, you want to use a split pod as opposed to an extract. An extract will do it in a pinch, but it doesn’t give you everything. It’s not the same. Some of the things I mentioned you can buy already. Those are really easy things to make at home. If you want to add one more thing that comes across as a tad exotic, you can buy passion fruit syrup. There’s a couple of places online to get that. You can also buy orgeat if you don’t want to make it yourself. I would say those five syrups. Of course, there are at least 10 that I could rattle off, but those three could easily make it home. Then, the other ones you can order online from numerous sources. That’s where I would start within the syrup department. Now in terms of juice, obviously fresh lime and lemon, that goes without saying. You have that at any bar. Pineapple juice, again, really easy to get. I like Dole. I think it’s decent quality if you’re not making it yourself. Passion fruit juice as well. Also, there is a juice that I don’t always see people use too often. I encountered this mostly in the French Caribbean. Guava juice is delicious and it works really well, either rum or with agave and tequila.

J: Oh, that sounds good.

S: It is everything. I visited Martinique a few years ago and every restaurant has this drink called Planteur, which is basically planter’s punch. It’s just guava and rum, and it’s so good.

J: There you go, Tim.

S: Anything else that I would add to that, of course, rum. Have some tequila, pisco, or brandy. I use whiskey in my tropical drinks, too. It’s a lesser-known niche there, but it’s all about the modifiers. I love using rye whiskey in my tropical drinks.

J: Shannon, you talked very quickly about tiki and its possibly problematic past. You wrote a book called “Tiki.” How do you think your book redefines what people know as tiki?

S: Yes, my book did or does — and this is my intention — was to open up the idea of what a tiki drink was. Up until that point, the majority of tiki books had historical recipes, and yet it would have a scattering of originals or newer drinks, but by and large, if you open up any tiki book before mine, about 80 to 90 percent of those are all classics. I flipped it around. So I had only 20 classics, followed by 70 originals. The whole idea is explaining that a tiki is an approach to making drinks, and you don’t have to use this narrow set of ingredients that you see recurring throughout the tiki canon. You can take any ingredient and make it into a tropical cocktail, though for me, the philosophy behind tiki is just balancing complex flavors. I thought to myself that this genre was invented in the ’30s when there are only so many things that you could get in the United States to make drinks with. That time has changed. I would say to myself, “Well, what would Don do?” I feel like I should make a T-shirt that says that. If Don Beach had mezcal, I’m sure he would have been using it. If he had lemongrass, galangal, or Buddha’s hand, I’m sure he would have used it. He just didn’t have it, so that was the idea. It’s about layering flavors, use whatever you like, and make it interesting.

J: Sounds great.

S: Looking back, and I don’t know what I was on because there were over 300 ingredients in that book, and I’m kind of afraid to write the next one. My editors are asking, “Where is the next proposal?” I’m not doing that again. I learned my lesson.

C: Maybe the next one has three-ingredient tiki drinks.

S: You’re hitting it on the head. We’re heading in that direction. I was like, “We can make everyone’s life easier.”

T: With your incredible experience with rum and the time you spent now with the category, rum remains one of those spirits that many people might describe as the next big thing, especially more aged rums. I’m not sure whether that does it a disservice, but I still think rum hasn’t quite reached the levels of a whiskey or a tequila. Where do you think rum is currently in its journey in the United States and possibly returning to that glory where, as you were saying, it was the most popular liquor in this country?

S: Well, among rum circles, this idea that rum is going to be the next big thing has been a rumor that’s been circulating for 15 years. We joke that we’re waiting for the Messiah to come back. We’re sitting there praying, and it hasn’t happened as of yet. I can just say that I think there are some good signs, though, that it could be closer than we think for a couple of reasons. One is that it has been embraced by the bar community. Bartenders love rum. They figured out that you can do a lot of things with it in cocktails that you can’t do with other categories, mostly by virtue of how diverse the category is. It comes from over 90 countries. There’s no one universal standard or definition apart from it having to be based on sugar. Thus, the diversity of the category means that it’s almost akin to wine. Of course, I’m a little biased because I worked in wine prior to working in rum, but I think there’s a good case to be made for that. From a bartender’s perspective, it’s a really intriguing category because there’s such a range of things that you can pick out of it. Then, when it comes time to make drinks, unlike other categories, again, rum is amenable to mixing various bottles together. In fact, that’s inherent to the development category. You would take rum from a couple of different islands or different ages to create a blend that you desire. Bartenders really resonate with being able to have that flexibility with a spirit, as opposed to you wouldn’t do that with multiple gins because that just runs counter to the idea of what a gin is meant to do. You also wouldn’t do that with whiskeys either. I think bartenders are doing a lot to introduce the consumer to rum, and they’re doing it in a setting where, as a consumer, if I don’t know much about the category and I go to Astor Wine & Spirits and I see 200 bottles, I’m going to be at a loss. But if I go to my local bar and my bartender pours me a couple, then I start to get it, and then I understand what it’s about. The education piece is really big. Meanwhile, I’ve seen the selection and variety of rums in the U.S. explode over the last five years. When I was working on setting up Glady’s, it was almost a struggle to find those 50 bottles that I felt really good about pouring. Now, or when the restaurant was last open, I didn’t have enough space for the bottles that fit my criterion. The criterion, in this case, was a certain level of quality and production, authenticity to tradition, things along those lines. There’s just so much more product to choose from now. I think the fact that bars have been leading the charge has emboldened producers in the category to start offering more releases and better products. It’s about to hit a mezcal tipping point, like where mezcal was at maybe a decade ago. Think about when Vida came out and it was the only game in town, similar to how Plantation for a time was this one house that was representing the category as a whole. So we’re getting there.

E: That was great. You broke down what the future of rum has in store. Obviously, there’s a rumor going around for 15 years that it may or may not come back. Either way, I do want to ask about your future plans for the upcoming year. Where do you see yourself? Obviously, people are getting vaccinated, and we might see the emergence of bar culture come back, or we may not. I want to get your opinion on that and where do you see yourself fit into that as well?

S: Yeah, that culture will come back because people want to socialize. We can’t eliminate that out of human nature. I think we’re going to start to see different types of bars. I think rooftops, and outdoor spaces, they’re going to have a handy advantage. I think anybody moving forward with new projects is definitely going to be prioritizing outdoor spaces, so that as we ease out of the pandemic, they can comfortably offer guests not only a safe experience but one that actually feels good. It’s already been a big trend, but I think this is just going to become more of a priority. I think to-go and RTDs are still going to be big because there will be people who won’t go out as much as they did in the past. They’ve come to enjoy drinking at home or not exposing themselves to as many people as they may have done before, so I think RTD is going to continue to grow. I’m curious to see how that will be integrated into bar programs. I say that because I recently met a business called Canned Cocktail Company, and they make RTDs custom for bars. They were the ones that did the RTD that I served this weekend upstate. They have an upcoming restaurant and retail location in the West Village where they are going to be pouring cocktails for various clients. We might see more of those. As far as me personally, well I may not look it, but I’m getting older, guys. I’ve worked in hospitality for 15 years, and when I started at Glady’s six years ago, in my conversation with the owner, I said, “This is going to be the last restaurant job. I’m planning to consult after this.” So I started consulting maybe three years ago. And when the pandemic hit and the work that I was doing was largely attached to bars went away, thankfully it already had enough momentum to shift into consulting full-time, which I’ve been doing for the past year. I expect to continue to do so as well. What that looks like, practically speaking, is I create recipes in educational content for brands, and some of that is aimed at consumers. Some of it is aimed at their internal team, and that could be a mix of everything from making recipes and giving seminars, putting branded content on my social media channels, leading seminars virtually or in person, and recording training videos. Education is my passion, and I forgot how much I missed doing seminars. I had a lot of fun this weekend. That’s what I plan to be doing for the foreseeable future. I’ve also entertained the idea of creating a product and working on this RTD, which I can again elaborate on a little bit later. This is my first foray into that because the company that I’m working with has let me in on the marketing conversations and strategies, and they’re incorporating my ideas into that. I was approached to create a rum brand a few years ago, and it wasn’t a good time for me. But now, I would certainly welcome that opportunity because it would be a lot of fun for me to take what I’ve learned over the years and be able to find something special and bring it to market. Those are a couple of things, but there’s more. I might end up in front of a camera, too. I’ve been approached by a few outlets to develop shows. I basically plan to become the Martha Stewart or Rachael Ray of cocktails. That’s the dream.

T: I’m here for it.

J: Yeah, that would be wonderful. That all sounds so exciting. This is also a great moment to end our chat. Thank you so much for taking the time today, Shannon. It was so great to talk to you.

S: This was super fun.

J: I think we’re all looking forward to our next tropical cocktail, maybe this weekend. We hope to share one with you soon.

S: Well, you guys know where to find me. We can always do a Zoom happy hour, it’s not a problem.

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of “EOD Drinks.” If you’ve enjoyed this program, please leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts. It really helps other people discover the show. And tell your friends. We want as many people as possible listening to this amazing program.

And now for the credits. “End of Day Drinks” is recorded live in New York City at VinePair’s headquarters. And it is produced, edited, and engineered by VinePair tastings director, yes, he wears a lot of hats, Keith Beavers. I also want to give a special thanks to VinePair’s co-founder, Josh Malin, to the executive editor Joanna Sciarrino, to our senior editor, Cat Wolinski, senior staff writer Tim McKirdy, and our associate editor Katie Brown. And a special shout-out to Danielle Grinberg, VinePair’s art director who designed the sick logo for this program. The music for “End of Day Drinks” was produced, written, and recorded by Darby Cicci. I’m VinePair co-founder Adam Teeter, and we’ll see you next week. Thanks a lot.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article EOD Drinks With Shannon Mustipher appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/eod-drinks-shannon-mustipher/

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spaceorphan18 · 7 years

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Finding Kurt Hummel: Puppet Master

Masterpost

5x07: Puppet Master

Just when you thought season 5 couldn’t get any weirder - they decided to throw in drug-related hallucinations and puppets. Because why not. I actually love this episode, but, I mean, can you imagine the writers room discussion about early season 5? They just lost a castmate and friend - so they decide to go take the show in kind of a crazy direction (which also, let’s be honest, feels a little like vamping until they get to their 100th episode).

Anyway - there’s a ton of Blaine meta here - which I’ll mostly be ignoring! It’s just interesting to me that I always think the Kurt story line in this episode is a lot bigger than it actually is. And yeah, I’ll say this early on - Kurt is a puppet master just as much as Blaine is (they both have issues with control) - they just took Kurt’s story in a different direction. Actually, I think it would have been interesting to see fallout of Kurt not having things work out for him, but Glee seems to have forgotten how to do its infamous parallels at this point.

A Puppet Master

Kurt bounces into the episode on a high - he just booked Pamela Lansbury’s first gig -- at a Broadway hangout. (Which also happens to be the place where his fiance sang a broken down version of their love song - so I don’t know, I’m torn between Kurt having sentimentality towards Callbacks and never wanting to set foot back in there again. The show, meanwhile, didn’t seem like they wanted to create somewhere new, so Callbacks it is.)

Rachel’s on board, but Elliott, Dani and Santana are not. And in a scene much like the previous Blaine with the choir room scene, they proceed to tell Kurt that Callbacks isn’t such a great idea. I tend to agree, for marketing purposes, probably best to find some place that’ll get you the right audience, but this is Glee, land of magic where the plot needs it. (I say in loving jest)

Kurt’s astounded they’re not on board with this (he looks to Rachel, who looks sad for him - it’s an interesting little moment of subtly in an otherwise kind of over the top scene). And he insists that Callbacks is a funky place (why does the writing for Kurt sound like a 50yo trying to reclaim his youth? Was Ryan Murphy 50 at this point?). And that they should trust his instinct and go with him on it.

I love the little moment where Dani says she doesn’t think anyone else will come and Kurt says he disagrees (Dan-ni!). Demi Lovato’s reaction is priceless. She was so under used in this show.

Anyway, Kurt has a vision of his band playing Madonna songs. When has Kurt ever had rock star ambitions? Well, now apparently. (Though - I will say, while not pronounced, Kurt does love and appreciate the attention from performing nearly as much as Rachel and Blaine.)

So -- we get Madonna’s Into the Groove. Hm.

On the con side: I wish they had gone full on 80s. I mean the clothes are there, but the hairstyles are not. The juxtaposition feels a little weird to me. I also wish it wasn’t so autotuned. It’s nice that Kurt gets a fun, upbeat number, but it’s almost entirely electronic sounding. I realize that’s supposed to match an 80s synth sound, but I guess it doesn’t work for me. Also I don’t have a lot of meta for it. It’s a fun dance number. I suppose - for all of you complaining that Kurt doesn’t have enough lack of meaning songs - well here you go.

On the pro side: Kurt’s having so much fun - he’s taking the lead on this one (I can barely hear anyone else on it), and his dancing is adorable and flirty. It’s great that they let him relax in his own fantasy. You work that crowd (and those hips)!!

The intensity at the end cracks me up. Even in Kurt’s fantasy - Rachel is way super intense.

Does this sequence remind anyone else of Saved By the Bell’s Rocumentary episode where they sing Friends Forever? Just me? Okay moving on....

Oh - Kurt’s getting a call from his fiance - talk among yourselves.

On close inspection, this scene is hilariously ridiculous. I mean, I love that the show remembered the two of them were in a committed relationship. I love that they’re making an effort to show them talking with each other on a pretty regular basis. (And interestingly, the Klaine stuff has been consistent on the NYC side, though more so absent on the Lima said. Weird? I know but true.)

Let’s recap the episode so far:

Blaine: I have awesome ideas for the direction of our musical group. Everyone else: Yeah, we think your ideas are dumb Kurt: I have an awesome idea for the direction of our musical group. Everyone else: Yeah we think it’s a dumb idea.

Then this scene:

Blaine: People think my ideas are dumb. Kurt: Instead of letting you know I understand exactly what you’re talking about, I’m going to remind you that people don’t like it when you try to tell them to do things they don’t want to do - even though I’m going through the same thing at the moment.

Okay Kurt - a) why the revisionist history considering the glee club. no one ever had an equal vote on anything and b) hello pot, meet kettle. Show, I mean what even?!?

Okay, you know what though, I think this scene is hilarious though. As it continues - Kurt’s all excited about his news and asks Blaine to come see him. Blaine is like, yeah whatever. Kurt’s thrilled about Blaine coming to see him again but Blaine is like KURT WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS PUPPET MASTER THING!!

No, they aren’t really listening to each other in this scene. I don’t really care. It’s comedically satisfying.

Oh - and can we take a moment to see that Blaine’s inbetween classes at the moment. I wonder how many times Blaine texts or calls Kurt during his school day. Idk - that cracked me up too for some reason.

Kurt Puppet. Okay, I’m not talking about Blaine’s stuff really - but can I just say I think the Kurt puppet is adorable, even if oh Blaine - you’ve got some issues. However, I just need to throw out there that Sue doesn’t want to catch Blaine with his hand up the anything that isn’t human. Uh...Sue? Does that mean you’re open to...oh never mind. Oh - and I do kind of love that the Kurt Puppet comes alive after Sue confiscates it.

Crushing Disappointment

Okay - so twenty minutes and a bunch of hallucinations later - Kurt’s chilling waiting for Blaine in the back room of Callbacks. Kurt’s not gonna like the news. Dude - you really need to stop inviting Blaine to Callbacks - it’s never gonna end well.

Anyway - Blaine’s been putting this off (oh Blaine) but he tells Kurt he’s not there. And Kurt’s first reaction - concern! It’s not until puppet Kurt appears that the anger is apparent.

And so we get the shift from real Kurt to puppet Kurt. How much of this conversation is real? How much a fantasy? (caught in a land slide - no escape from reality...)

I’ve seen this scene be debated quite a bit - and to be honest, I can go either way on whether it’s real or not - so I like to take the happy medium approach. I do think Kurt was frustrated (as evident as he throws his phone down after the conversation) - that Blaine not only couldn’t make it, but that Blaine avoided talking to him about it until the last moment, too. It is interesting, too, to note that Blaine being there for Kurt is really important to him.

Meanwhile, I think a lot of the anger going on in the scene is Blaine’s own internalization of the situation - and the disappointment he keeps finding in himself. Puppet Kurt’s reaction is a reflection of how he’s feeling with himself at the moment, and not necessarily a true representation of Kurt’s feelings on what’s going on.

Still - I wish there had been a clearer resolution to the Klaine conflict (?) than how the episode ends. (I hesitate to even call it a real conflict, tbh - more so a frustration on Kurt’s end and Blaine issues on the other.) Idk - I still think it feels a little unresolved.

Meanwhile, Kurt’s got other problems as there’s only one person waiting to see Pamela Lansbury perform - and it’s not even a real fan. (Dude - are there no other people in that bar? Seriously on a Thursday in NYC?)

What does a fox say?

It really is tragic that I can’t get a full shot of this outfit. What even are those pants Kurt?

Okay, so let’s recap the second half of the episode:

Blaine: **has extensional crisis about being called a puppet master, has extensive hallucinations, plays with puppets, but at least gets some character development** Everyone else: Hey Blaine, we talked it over - and your ideas aren’t so bad. Bonus - you get to be the star! Kurt: **gets absolutely no development** Everyone else: Hey Kurt, we talked it over - and your idea wasn’t that bad. Bonus - You get a second gig due to a ridiculously contrived plot point (that will be used again in a few episodes with Mercedes).

Idk - I love this episode, but I could have done without the the Sue plot in favor of letting Kurt’s band be more than showcasing Adam Lambert and Demi Lovato.

Meanwhile, the semi-ish conclusion to the Klaine stuff?? Blaine sends an “I’m sorry” box. (How often does that happen?) Kurt looks pretty pleased...until he opens it and seems really confused. Kurt - I really think you may want to call Blaine and see if he’s okay....

Oh What Does the Fox Say. Some people hate it (Lea Michele - it’s her least favorite Glee song apparently), some people love it (My 5yo niece thinks it’s the greatest thing ever), I’m cool with it. It is super weird - but so is the rest of the episode.

I’ve seen some interesting meta floating around about how Kurt is the fox because he does not sing in the song (he doesn’t even lip sync the back up vocals - he’s pretty silent). I wish I remembered what people had said about that. It was kind of interesting, even if I think this episode is purely a ‘for fun’ number.

Fun fact: Originally Miley Cyrus’s We Can’t Stop was supposed to be the ending number. No idea why it changed - but that would have been interesting to see, actually. Probably makes more sense with the episode than The Fox, lol.

#finding kh #kurt hummel #yup there we go #I want to get to the Christmas episode hopefully before Christmas....

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nicaffeinated · 7 years

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An in-depth but unorganized review of Star Wars Ep.VIII: The Last Jedi

I don’t really do movie reviews, but for Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, I’m willing to do it (and because most of the people I know haven’t seen it yet, I need to let things out!) So, if you haven’t seen the movie yet and are planning to watch it soon, please don’t read this. Do yourself a favor, and don’t spoil yourself.

To set things going, I just want you to know that I love Star Wars. As a kid, I grew up being only aware of the Star Wars franchise. I knew about lightsabers, Darth Vader, Jedi, Sith, and I even knew about the Millennium Falcon considering I haven’t watched any of the movies before! This just says how big the Star Wars influence is. But what set things in stone for me was actually watching the original trilogy marathon on TV out of boredom. This was uncanny of me, as at that age I was more obsessed with fairies and princesses in ball gowns. Then I got to know our beloved heroes, Luke, Han and Leia and I went out a fan, and here I am now.

I watched the movie on the second day of release, which is the 14th of December here in the Philippines. In fact, at first, I was the only girl to enter the cinema during the first screening of that day. There were like 7 guys already inside and I just knew they’ve been waiting to watch this movie for two years as I have.

So to get on with the movie review, I generally liked it, but all in all I don’t know what to feel about it. I guess writing about it will help me in weighing everything down.

On-Screen

I feel that instead of answering questions, the movie just raised a shit ton of them. Don’t get me wrong, I liked it in its cinematic sense. I was in awe of how Rian Johnson visualized everything. It is very unlike how JJ Abrams based VII on the previous movies, Johnson really brings new things to the plate. He is very creative and you can really see that in the film. There was a part with Rey seeing multiple reflections of herself during her time in Ahch To, Luke didn’t want her to do that and in the end she just ends up crying. I do understand that it was important to paint Rey in a more vulnerable light compared to her Mary Sue-ness in EpVII, but I just thought it was unnecessary to have the multiple Reys on screen no matter how cool it looked.

The hyperspeed kamikazee of Amilyn Holdo played by Laura Dern was breath taking. The cinema just completely fell silent and it was so cool I had chills down both my arms. Can I just acknowledge Disney for adding these amazing women to the cast. This was a brilliant move Disney, and also the casting directors. And, by the way, the “connection” scenes between Rey and Kylo Ren were well executed, in my opinion.

And I really liked how humorous the movie turned out, I was surprised I genuinely laughed which didn’t happen in the Prequels (We get it Anakin, you don’t like sand.) Oscar Isaac/Poe Dameron and Domhnall Gleeson/General Armitage Hux were great and funny whenever they were on-screen. They worked the same way as Chewie, the Porgs and those nuns/caretakers in Ahch To. I guess it’s safe to say, they kept boredom at bay.

WAIT, WHAT?

Moving on to the confusing parts, I just don’t get why they didn’t kill Leia off in her swooping in like Peter Pan scene, considering what has happened in real life. They are really making it hard for them to do IX with Carrie gone but it supposedly being her movie (Ep VII was Han’s, and VIII was Luke’s). I guess we’ll just see how that goes and hopefully make Carrie Fisher lovingly raise her middle finger like a salute at us from her pool of moonlight.

I don’t get why they killed off potentially amazing characters. Phasma for one and why the hell did Snoke die that easily? For a powerful, ancient character, he was just like a rag doll that was a throw away. The movie lost the opportunity of expanding their plot by killing off Snoke. I guess Kylo is his own villain now, assuming that he still has light in him after being rejected by Rey like that.

To top it all off: Rose Tico and Finn? Really? I didn’t even see them lock eyes for more than a minute. (Stormpilot and Reylo for the win)

Goodbye, Luke

I really appreciate how Luke died. I’m sad that he’s dead, but in his words “No one is ever truly gone” which popped up in a conversation with Leia regarding Ben/Kylo, but can be applied to Han, himself and even our dear Princess Carrie Fisher. Force projecting himself into the Resistance base in Crait to face Kylo in what I see as his best Kylo-Tantrum ever was awesome.

On as side note, Adam Driver was amazing in VII and he’s even better (and shirtless, but that’s not the point) here in VIII. I can’t wait to see him star in more movies. He killed it this time.

Moving back, if you were looking properly, you would really see that something was off with Luke. He has his lightsaber, completely unscratched (which was the one Kylo and Rey broke in half back in Snoke’s ship) and he didn’t leave any footprints when he walked out of the base. I mean there was a reason they gave screen time to the Resistance man’s red footprint on the planet’s salt surface. Anyway, Jedi master as he was, Luke died out of what I believe is exhaustion in Ahch To, looking at what seemed as two suns setting, which was a great homage to his time in Tatooine. I won’t lie, I had actual tears in my eyes during this time. But what I thought when I saw this was, IS AHCH TO IN THE SAME SYSTEM AS TATOOINE? I know it’s irrelevant now, but I just want to know considering I don’t see any maps with Ahch To on it. And just so you know, I really am bothered by it.

Anyway, I understand why Luke had to die. In the future movies, we just can’t keep coming back to the Skywalker bloodline. The Jedi and most importantly the Skywalkers are not the sole wielders of the force as there are a lot of force sensitive beings and the force is in everyone and everything. What they are saying here is anyone can be special and I really like that. And I really like how the force kind of chooses people who don’t have anyone or anything else but have ambition and longing to make a difference.

Other than that, I have high hopes that we’ll be seeing Luke again pretty soon. It will be a welcome sight just like how puppet Yoda popped in here in VIII. It was pretty funny and nostalgic.

Suddenly weaker?

The Force likes to keep things in balance. That’s why in the height of Kylo’s power, the force sent Rey to be his equal at the time, which explains her being able to do all those amazing stuff in VII. But here in VIII, we don’t see Kylo Ren and Rey do a lot of cool tricks, basically because I think the force is making sure that when Luke has to do what he has to do, he has enough power to tap into the force for that force projection, despite it ultimately feeding off of his life in the end. Well, that’s what I think the reason is.

A New Hope

If you jumped out of your seat when that orphaned kid seemingly summoned that broom to his hand back in Canto Bight (You know, that boring casino world in the middle of the movie where they got Benicio del Toro’s code-breaker character “DJ” (which stands for “Don’t Join”, apparently) to hack into Snoke’s flagship, Supremacy. Yes, THAT.) You are not alone. I literally squeaked when I saw that, and then I was completely in awe when he raised that broom forming the silhouette of a Jedi wielding a lightsaber as he stares out into the cosmos. I will never forget that scene. Never.

For me, it just symbolizes everything that the Force and Star Wars stands for, which is POTENTIAL. Just about anybody, even if you’re a nobody at that, YOU have the potential to change the universe and the worlds beyond.

And because Rey is not a Jedi yet, but Luke hinted that he’s not going to be the last Jedi, seems to say that she has the potential to be one and Luke definitely has faith in her. Maybe once she gets to build another lightsaber from Luke/Anakin’s kyber crystal inside the broken shaft of the lightsaber that she and Kylo Ren broke in that tug of war.

Oh and did you also get why Yoda burnt that old tree just to set Luke free from all his doubts? You know, when Yoda talked about how there is nothing in those books that Rey does not already have. It’s because Rey took the ancient Jedi texts. She stored it in a compartment inside the Millennium Falcon and we got to see it via Finn near the end. Good job, Rey! This is just more proof that hope is never really gone.

RATING

4 out of five stars!!

Reading everything that I have written, I do like the movie. I find it creatively amazing, despite having plot holes (I believe there’s a lot more than what I have listed above). I’d like to think that the creators have provided themselves with an almost clean slate to work on IX and also having the chance to input more stories into the Star Wars franchise. I mean, who knows, maybe some of the legends may become canon soon.

We’ll see.

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stevecanmakeanythingnerdy · 4 years

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Battle #10

Beastie Boys: Licensed To Ill ( Side 1 )

Vs.

Slade: Rogues Gallery ( Side 2 )

Beastie Boys: Licensed To Ill ( Side 1 )

The Beastie Boys were an American hip hop group from New York City formed in 1981. The group was composed of Michael "Mike D" Diamond (vocals, drums), Adam "MCA" Yauch (vocals, bass) and Adam "Ad-Rock" Horovitz (vocals, guitar, programming). Originally The Beastie Boys were formed as a four-piece hardcore punk band, the Young Aborigines, in 1978 by Mike D (vocals), MCA (bass), John Berry (guitar) and Kate Schellenbach (drums). The6 were on a thrash hardcore and metal comp, but achieved local success with the 1983 experimental hip hop single "Cooky Puss", and soon after, the Beastie Boys made a full transition to hip hop. I would say it’s a decision that definitely was in their favor. It’s a case for “the right place at the right time”. Hip Hop was exploding in NYC in the early 80s and by the time the mainstream came around, these 3 white guys could hold their own in a predominantly black genre. I don’t mean that to sound racist, but it was quite rare to see any white rappers, let alone rappers at all on MTV. That all changed in 1986 when acts like Run DMC, Kool Moe D, and LL Cool J were smashing stereotypes and combining rock riffs and samples with sick rhymes and showing the masses a new medium. And these beastie boys were paying attention. When this album came out, it didn’t take long for it to begin charting. Blistering hits like “Rhymin’ and Stealin’” with it’s crushing tempo and vocals in the round ( which would become the Beasties classic signature style). Strangely pirate themed as well. “The New Style” describes exactly what all of this set up was about and the samples are very ample for example (#seewhatididthere) nice switch up with the “ummmmm DROP!” Centering around the classic Zeppelin riff is “She’s Crafty” followed quickly by “Posse in effect” - a tale about being a cool dude with a big crew- very important for the 80s. They have a rhyme with Abe Vigota in this one (Godfather reference surely) for crying out loud!!! “Slow ride” has another badass switch up and “Girls” (a beasties classic subject : laydeeeeees) is just an awesome song. The latter being the most formulated of all of their songs. Very standard rhythm and rhymes. As if this album couldn’t get any better, the next song, and essentially the launch pad for their entire career is “Fight For Your Right”. It sounds political, but rest assured it’s a cause you want to join. This song became an anthem for every teenager and college kid in 1986-87 (and continues through today, really) and between the radio airplay and video presence on MTV, you couldn’t escape the beastly power (#seewhatididthere) they had unleashed. Who doesn’t know that chord ringing out followed by “Kick it!” I love that it’s buried on the A side too. The record company executives missed that one! And that’s just Side One! The flip has equally impressive hits like “No Sleep ‘Till Brooklyn” and “Brass Monkey”. A virtual hit machine! What you have to understand is just how groundbreaking this album really was though. For the time it really was light years ahead and the fact they could actually play their instruments paid off well on later releases which nod to their roots. They were truly innovative and master craftsmen at carving out a niche in a newly developing genre. Iconic is an understatement. Fun facts : the tail of the plane says “eat me” backwards.

Slade: Rogues Gallery ( Side 2 )

Slade are an English rock band from Wolverhampton and they rose to prominence during the glam rock era in the early 1970s. You know, Ziggy Stardust and all...they achieved 17 consecutive top 20 hits (!) and six number ones on the UK Singles Chart. The British Hit Singles & Albums names them the most successful British group of the 1970s based on sales of singles. That’s there...in the U. S. they are a bit more obscure, but you would instantly recognize tunes like "Mama Weer All Crazee Now" and “Cum On Feel The Noize” - more famously (stateside anyway) done by Quiet Riot. Sorry. Not their song. It belongs to these Glam rock champs of the early 70s. In fact, Slade Alive and Slayed? are considered two of the greatest glam rock albums ever. They really were equally well known for their outlandish outfits and I have no idea what the misspelling is all about, but it runs rampant throughout their early catalog. The rise and fall (and eventual rise again) of Slade is an interesting one. They were doing quite well, charting and finding success in the U. K. But were disappointed that they were not achieving notoriety in the U. S. So they did what any band would’ve done and they moved to the U.S. and basically started over from the ground up. They did so for about 3 yearsbut to no avail. They just didn’t chart or have much interest here. So they went back home...only to find that Punk Rock had taken over the airwaves in 1977. This led to further “failures” by not charting or keeping relevant...it also didn’t help that they kind of alienated their existing fans by moving to the USA. Poor Slade. But wait! There’s more! Right around the punk rock phase there was also an onslaught of British Heavy Metal, and Slade picked up their battle axes and went to war. By the apex of the heavy metal invasion, Quiet Riot had released their version of the aforementioned earlier Slade hit. This coupled with the band finally getting the recognition they deserved caused the labels to take notice and sign them. Their first single to reach American charting was “Run Runaway” which saw extensive airplay on MTV. The band had finally come full circle. The roller coaster continues from that point up and down and they faded and were rediscovered several times between then and now, and they’re still active! This is a band that’s been playing since 1969!!!! I think that just Slade is Crazee now!! (#seewhatididthere). So this is their 12th album, 1985’s Rogues Gallery. It contains the minor hit “7 Year Bitch” which makes me think that someone did them wrong. It’s a poppy mid tempo tune, but as you can guess, not terribly friendly. “I’ll be There” is not a Jackson’s cover and is in fact, VERY Irish sounding. A lot of Scottish flair on this one...like there might as well be bagpipes! A bigger sound and some harmonies too. Not to far removed from a current act like Mumford and Sons honestly. Too looooooooooong though. Trim it!! “I Win, You Lose” has an emphatic and orchestrated feel. Some of the rock seems to have vacated in these earlier tunes. Big solos but still lackluster somewhat. I think we lose... “Lock Up Your Daughters” has to be a barn burner with a title like that, right? Well, it is. Finally, THERE are those A/C D/C riffs we all love so much! This one shreds and it’s tight and treacherous (just like your daughter! OH! #seewhatididthere (Sorry...too far?)) *ahem* “Time to Rock” is another return to form with stadium shaking beats (come on this is a group that practically invented these kind of songs!!) BIIIIG sounds, THIS is Slade! Whistle-core outtro is a bit strange. A Rogues Gallery of sounds mayhaps? And a sidebar: These dudes seem quite fond of hats. They remind me of a more rock oriented Big Country on this one. Other Slade albums are better, and this is right in the middle of their mellowed out phase.

So The Beastie Boys may be licensed to Ill, but the only thing that is sick, is their music. (#seewhatididthere) BBs took 23 minutes to burn 151 calories over 7 songs. They burned 21.57 calories per song and 6.57 calories per minute. The6 also earned 16 out of 21 possible stars. Slade came out of retirement with a Rogues Gallery of songs and sounds. They belted out 5 tunes over 21 minutes and burned 132 calories in the process. They burned 26.4 calories per song and 6.29 calories per minute, earning a total of 11 out of 15 possible stars. In today’s battle, the Beastie Boys passed the mic, rhymed AND STOLE (#seewhatididthere) today’s prize.

Beastie Boys : “Fight For Your Right”(Cliche I know, but I HAD to go with this one. You get it all: the rock, the rap, the humor...THIS IS THE FRICKIN’ BEASTIES!!!)

https://youtu.be/eBShN8qT4lk

#Randomrecordworkoutseasonseven

#Randomrecordworkout

#randomrecordworkout #randomrecordworkoutseason7 #vinyl #80s #80s music #records #80's music #beastie boys #slade #working out

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punkakess · 7 years

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Samurai AU

This my contribuition for the first day of the GratsuAUWeek, hope you guys enjoy and I’m sorry for any mistakes and i know it’s a day late...^^

The days had turned short, the rays of sun losing its strong heat to the cool air that blow from the ocean and travel all the way into the country. As the night quickly took over and the moon climb up high, the ground frosts over, dew rendering itself to the cold that come with the goom.

Gray’s steps are light and calculated, his posture strong and firm yet elegant, long legs parting just enough to keep the speed of his walk, but sufficient in its shortness to not give away his haste. However, despite the graceful gait, small frosted droplets of water still crunched quietly under his feet. Natsu chuckled low, lifting a hand to his mouth in a futile attempt of muffling the sounds he knew would annoy Gray.

“What are you laughing so suddenly at, idiot?” Came the expected question, spoke only after the dark haired samurai had looked around to confirm his solitude.

A simple shrug was all Natsu offered as an answer, while he mulled over the decision of telling or not to his partner what was on his very bored mind. It was mean and most likely not true, but Natsu had nothing more interesting to do and the reaction his little joke would bring forth wouldn’t be serious enough to deter Gray from his pace or even take away his focus, really.

Smiling mischievous, Natsu skipped ahead while pulling his arms behind his head, his tail twitched by his back in anticipation “Ne, Gray. Don’t you think you should control your appetite more?” The young man looked him sideways, suspicion and irritation clear in his face.

“What are you- Wait, I don’t want to hear that from you!” As soon as he realized he had lost a little bit of his composure, Gray quickly recovered with a noise from his throat, “Why are you saying this, anyway?”

Ah, so Gray did caught on the fact that Natsu’s question had being more of a statement. Once again shrugging, Natsu hugged one of his tails, rough fingers brushing the soft, salmon fur and twirling the very end of it, “Well, your steps aren’t as light as a few months ago. It’s turning sneaking around a more difficult task for you.”

A vein troubled on Gray’s temple and his hand touched the hilt of his katana in an automatic movement, “Are you calling me fat?”

“What? No, I would never. I’m just stating that you’ve probably gained a little weight in the last few weeks.” For a minute Natsu believed the vein would explode on the side of Gray’s forehead and he took a couple steps back to avoid the blood dirtying his clothes. Just because nobody would see the dark spots besides Gray, didn’t meant he wanted it anyway.

“So you’re calling me fat.” The raven stated with a bemused face, thumb circling the very tip on the hilt of his sword as a silent threat, one which Natsu ignored.

“Not fat, fatter.”

The sentence, spoke in such casual yet teasing tone, tipped Gray of off the edge of his control – not that he has a lot when it comes to the pink haired kitsune. A growl escaped rosy lips and his hand unsheathed his Fubuki a few mere centimeters. Another hand stopped the movement, however and Gray hissed at the light scratch of claws on his pale skin. Natsu used his hold to approach the youngest until they were breathing the same air and supple lips touched a slightly red ear.

“If you don't want to draw attention to yourself, I suggest you don't cause a scene or make too much noise.” a shiver, that wasn't originated from cold, shook Gray’s body and Natsu smirked in victory.

Before backing away, he let his tongue snake over shell of the same body part. The answer was a shove on his chest where he rubbed after stumbling away, “Why do I still stick by your side?”

“Honestly?” Gray merely nodded in confirmation, but it was enough for the kitsune, “Because I make you an awesome samurai.”

“I’d probably still be good without you.”

“And probably dead. How many times have I saved you already?” Not having a retort, the raven rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, before forcefully focusing on the task at hand.

Natsu had told Gray the enemy would try a surprise attack on the camp, where the warriors slept. According with what he had heard while prowling around the enemy's territory, they would attempt to kill Commander Scarlet, knowing she was the mastermind behind all war strategies. What they weren’t aware of was the young samurai who had being graced by Kami with a youkai as protector. A kitsune no one but Gray could see and would often spy on their opponent to collect Intel. For all his allies, Gray was a young man with a gift of guessing the decisions the enemy might take. Sometimes, his guesses would be a little of, maybe sooner than necessary, but never too wrong to the point of causing prejudice.

The pair came to a stop, halting right in front of the commander’s bedchambers. There were hushed voices the tin paper, which composed the shouji,couldn’t hold in. The sounds took away Gray’s hesitance, once he knew his visit would not wake Erza. He loudly climbed the two steps leading to the small tatami deck, as a way to alert his superior of his presence and cleared his throat.

“Forgive me, Shirei-kan, but I have an important matter to discuss with you.” Rustling could be heard and Gray readied himself to be scolded for the inappropriate hour.

“Is it urgent?” Came the strong but slightly high pinched voice.

“I believe so, Shirei-kan.”

“Very well, enter.” Gray did as ordered, sliding the door open and promptly kneeling by the side of Erza’s futon, where she sat, casually dressed in pajamas, he caught a glimpse of Jellal living the room and probably posting himslef as a guard by the front door, “What can I do for you, Gray?”

“Shirei- I mean, Erza-sama.” She smiled sweetly, and Natsu knew she was happy Gray had treated her more casually then normal, they had known each other for years yet Gray insisted with the formality, “I’m afraid I bring bad news.” She frowned, but signalized for him to proceed, “I believe the enemy is plotting a surprise attack to our side lines, with the intention to murder you. It’s not a secret you’re our mastermind and one of the main reasons this war is in our favor.”

“Are you sure of it, Gray?” She question calmly, but both Natsu and Gray could see the moment her body went rigid, the raven nodded solemnly, “When are they planning to attack?”

“In two nights…or so” He remembered to add the cell of uncertainty to avoid Erza realizing his surety, otherwise it would be suspicious.

“Why do you think, they’re planning this attack?”

Gray bit his lip, trying to remember all the clues Natsu had caught on and had driven him to inspect the enemy, “Lately they’ve been too passive and during battles, their champions are avoiding confrontation. I suppose it’s all in preparation to the attack.”

Natsu tsked beside Gray, annoyed the raven had used his exact words, but didn’t do nothing, preferring to let it slide, knowing he had no right to be mad after the little mischief he had done. The result would come at any moment now. His enhanced ears strained to hear the light steps of intruders and the sizzle of swords being unsheathed. Oh the approaching battle would be fun, maybe it would tip the war, but as a youkai, Natsu didn’t care, his duty was to protect Gray and nothing else.

“Sometimes, your talent to observe and guess amaze me, Gray.” Erza said in a friendly voice, her expression soft “Kami truly blessed you with-”

The echo of a shout reverberated throughout the camp and both samurais freezed. For a few seconds, silence reigned over the side lines until another low wail resounded. Gray took advantage of Erza’s focus on the general direction the screams came form and looked at Natsu inquisitively. The kitsune lifted both shoulders in a careless movement and, even knowing the Commander wouldn’t hear him, he whispered surprise attack. Gray’s blue eyes immediately turned wide and he was about to warn Erza when the noise of a body falling reached their ears. For a moment static filled the air and then a group of men opened the door with more force than necessary.

Without wasting time, the two samurais arose to their feet quickly, reaching for their katanas. There wasn’t any time to stare at the assailants as the clash came fast and merciless. Erza and Gray were outnumbered, but that posted no problem, they knew what they were doing and Natsu was by their side, even if the only one aware of it was Gray.

Blades kissed furiously, producing hissing sounds, sometimes clashing so violently sparks would fly from the place of impact. Bodies twirled and ducked with speed and precision. Humans sought to kill and protect and Natsu skipped around, pulling on someone shoes or sleeves, pushing a man or making another trip, lifting a tail or two to fend of swords that got too close to Gray’s blind spots. There wouldn’t be any if Gray wasn’t so adamant in protecting Erza.

“Help me protect Erza, they’re more focused on her then on me.” Gray demanded and earned an exasperated look in return.

“And who will protect you?” Natsu countered, expression frustrated.

“Don’t mind me, Erza is the Commander!”

Gray was frantic but Natsu was having none of that. It wasn’t his duty to protect the red haired woman, she could die for all he cared. Someone more competent like Gray could fill the post of Commander quickly, perhaps. Yeah, Gray would be a great Commander, the kitsune thought. With Natsu, his abilities were almost invincible and raven’s intelligence along with his millenary experience would form a great combo. Imagine the things and places they could conqueror.

While Natsu lost himself among his wonderings, the quick slide of Gray’ body towards Erza escaped his perception. Only when a katana pierced through the dark haired samurai’s torso did the kitsune realized what his partner was doing. If Natsu wasn’t going to protect Erza, than Gray would.

Time slowed down before Natsu’s emerald like eyes. He watched as the body of his lover fell ungracefully to the tatami floor, kneeling with both hands over the deadly wound marring his flesh. For a mere moment his sky colored eyes fixed Natsu and a small smile split his bloody lips. It was forgiveness and guilty, a goodbye and a promise of a next encounter, perhaps in another life. It was a confession. I love you.

A blade licked at the fragile skin on his neck, cutting deep and splattering blood on the closer wall, on the murder and on Natsu, who had approached unconsciously. A scream ripped itself from the pink haired youkai and everything around fell silent as the wail exploded in a ball of burning orange and yellow fire. The barrack is rendered to debris and all people around burned to ashes, falling victims of the kyubi no kitsune’s fury and grief.

Natsu kneeled and cradled Gray’s corpse to his chest, unmindful of the blood which painted his kimono and haori. He whispered denies and begs of forgiveness, late confessions and pleads for miracles. Guilty clawed at his heart for his mischievous nature, blood-thirsty temperament finally brought misfortune upon his life.

Carefully, he took Gray’s hand in his own, examining the slight difference of their skin color and than brought it to his face. It brushed his mask, creating crimson patterns in it before touching his cheek. Gray’s fingers were cold, they were always cool, wouldn’t warm up in no way, but this was different. I felt empty and unforgiving. Natsu already missed the old coolness, already missed his lover.

“Come back to me, Gray.”

#it'll be angst #the beginning is a futile hope of comedy and it tricks you #i know i'm cruel #gratsuAUweek #2ndgratsuweek2k17 #day 1 #samurai au #gratsu #natray #fairy tail #natsu dragneel #gray fullbuster #drabble

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kazosa · 7 years

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Second Chances - Jeff x Reader: Chapter 21

Summary: Reader and Jeff work a project and become fast friends. The project ends and they go their separate ways, neither forgetting the other. With Hollywood being a small community, you two bump into one another either at events or projects, but there is always something keeping you apart. Will the obstacles ever end? Chapter 21 Summary: Reader has an event at her job. Someone close to the reader is hurt. Warnings: language (as usual), angst, hospital A/N: Please leave comments or let me know if you want to be tagged, etc. I took a little bit of liberty with the second event. But I tried to make it reasonable. Word count: 2100 Catch up here: Masterlist Tags: @jml509 @jasoncrouse @yellatthetopofyourlungs @bookchic20 @prettyepiic @rizflo-blog @curious-sub7 @backseat-negan @warriorqueen1991

The very next day, you were at work and Jeff called you, he never did that, you always called him. That’s how you did it when only one of you was working. “What’s wrong?” you answered. “It’s Norman. He was in an accident. It’s bad,” he said. “How bad. He’s not…” you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. “Don’t know yet. He went through a window. His face is messed up, not sure about his eye. I wanted you to know before it was all over the news,” he said. “What do you want to do?” you asked him. “Do you know where he is yet?” “No, I need to call Helena later. She called to let me know what happened, she’s still his emergency contact. When I know more, I’ll let you know,” he said. You ended the call and worked the rest of the day in a daze. When work was finished for the day, you went to the production office and asked them if you could have time off to visit your friend. They were less than pleased with your request. They said that you could have vacation time, but not until the current episode was completed, in seven days. “This is such bullshit! I never ask you guys for anything. Do you know that in my entire working career, I’ve never taken a sick day or a vacation day? I need this time off. He’s like family to me and my boyfriend,” you argued. “Okay,” the executive producer said, “Just make it permanent. Make sure your forwarding address is correct with HR before you leave.” “You know, I’ve worked some shit jobs before, and this one is probably #2 on the list. Everybody fucking hates each other here. It’s amazing that you have such a following. Fuck you, I don’t need this job,” you said. You were about to storm out when the executive called after you. “That’s a shitty attitude that won’t get you hired with this studio again.” You reeled around and went back to lean over the desk, “Did you just fucking threaten me? Believe it or not, a pee-on like me has a lot of friends in high places. Maybe you should be more concerned for YOUR future with the studio!” That felt good, that felt really good, and slamming the door on the way out was the icing on the cake. It wasn’t entirely true, but that jerk didn’t know. Jeff would probably be surprised, but you knew he’d back you up on your decision.

A few days later, you and Jeff were out on the patio, sitting together under the big fluffy blanket when Jeff got the information he needed from Helena. Norman was in critical condition and the German hospital was not going to let him have visitors for two more days. Two days passed and Helena called Jeff in tears saying that Norman was awake and didn’t want any visitors. She was pissed, too, but she respected his wishes because of Mingus. You and Jeff didn’t have to respect a damn thing. “Oh, hell no, we’re going,” you told Jeff. “I dunno, babe, he can be pretty stubborn, too,” he said, secretly proud of her. “Stubborn, huh? I’ve had scarier people than Norman Reedus scream at me,” you said. “I’m gonna book us a trip.” “Sweetheart, not that I’m knocking your decision to quit, but aren’t you going to be itching for work once we come back?” he asked. You smiled. You had an ace in the hole. Not only did you get an email from Bob Singer, you also heard from Kim Manners telling you to get transferred to Vancouver for a new show he would be on to direct. “I got an email from Bob a couple days ago. He wants me on his crew in Vancouver. He’s got a show that he’s trying to get picked up with Kripke and Manners. It’s pretty fucking awesome. There’s a catch though,” you said. Jeff smirked, “You mean the fact that you told an executive producer to go fuck himself?” “I didn’t say that…per se… but the dick had it coming. I wasn’t going to stand there and let him shit on me because I wanted to go see my friend,” you explained. “Whoa, I’m on your side, sweetheart. I’m just saying, if you’re gonna do it, you should get on it now so if you need to smooth shit over, you can,” he said. He was right, he usually was, you just didn’t like to point it out. “What about you, do you want me to take it? Vancouver isn’t a tough flight, but it’ll suck none the less,” you said. Jeff had finally found a manager that was going to do him justice. Pilot season was coming soon and you’d checked with them to make sure they had their hustle-game going. Jeff was excited, he had a bunch of auditions that were coming up. Most of them either filmed in Vancouver or somewhere around Hollywood. Your job would mean you would be steady in Vancouver for filming season. “(Y|N), I think you’ll be miserable if you don’t have steady work. I love you to death, but I can’t take you around the house all day,” he said smiling. You elbowed him in the ribs. “Watch it pal, I’m the one that washes your clothes, I can make things disappear.” He chuckled, “I’m kidding!” He rubbed his ribs. “Your elbows are so bony! You know I always want you close, but sometimes that’s just not going to work out. It’ll be cool if I get a job in Vancouver.” “Okay, I’ll give Bob a call later and let him know what happened,” you told him.

Your call to Bob had gone well. Telling him what you’d done when you left Gilmore Girls had him rolling. “Don’t worry about it, kid,” he’d said, “I’m the one who gets to make the call on who is hired. Call me when you get back from Germany, we’ll figure out when to get you up to Vancouver.” “Thanks Bob, I’m looking forward to it,” you told him, sincerely grateful you had a friend like him. The worry about not having a job to go back to was starting to get to you, just like Jeff said. It had taken a few days to actually talk to Bob and you were glad when you finally heard his voice. As if he knew what you were thinking, he said, “It’s good to talk to you, kid. I need my best up here, and you’re it. I think this show has at least a couple good years in it. The boards look really good.” “Can’t wait to see it. Can you send me a script at all, or do I need to bribe Kripke?” you joked. “Let’s set up a meet up in Vancouver and we can talk details then,” he suggested. You told Bob that sounded good and you managed to work out a meet with Bob at the same time that Jeff was going to do some auditions up there. It was something nice to look forward to, Vancouver was a beautiful city and it would be nice to spend time there with Jeff.

A week after Helena had called last, you were standing outside of Norman’s room listening to the English-speaking nurse trying to talk to him. He wasn’t having it. The nurse came back to the door where you were waiting for her. She opened the door to only show her face, Norman was still going on. “I’m sorry miss, he is adamant, no visitors,” she said. “Why doesn’t anyone listen!? Tell her to go the fuck away!” you hear Norman ranting, his voice sounded odd. “Miss, he’s not himself…” she said. “I’m not leaving until I see him,” you told her flatly. Jeff had given up in favor of food. He’d lasted seven hours before he got hungry enough to leave. “He can be a stubborn ass all he wants, but I perfected it!!” you yelled so he could hear. You looked back to the nurse, “If he pitches a fit, I’ll say I snuck in so you don’t get in trouble.” She looked down and to the inside of the room. You knew you had her. She let go of the door so you could walk in. She squeezed your arm in passing. You rolled your shoulders and gave your arms a shake. He was gonna be tear into you as much as he could. “I told you not to fucking come!” he bellowed. Yep, he was mad. He started throwing things in your general direction, missing you to the right. The left side of his face was in bad shape, still covered in bandages. You’d seen worse, but not by much. When he was out of ammo, you approached his bed. You went to his right side of the bed so he could see you without strain. You didn’t say anything for a moment. He wouldn’t look at you, either. “You gonna tell me it’s not that bad?” he asked. “Nope, you look like shit,” you told him. That made him turn to look at you. “You’re a shitty friend.” “No, I’m not, and neither is Jeff. He’s just out getting us food. You can do this alone if you want, but we wanted to make sure you knew that we’d be here if you needed us,” you told him. “We stopped at Helena’s before we came. She gave us this for you.” You pulled out a photo frame and handed it to him. You watched as he looked at the recent picture of Mingus. After a long pause, he laid the photo down on his lap, “What if I don’t look the same…after? What if he doesn’t recognize me?” You took his hand in yours and squeezed. “You’re still the same person, Norm. I think he’s happy you’re still alive. He’s just worried you won’t come home.” He looked a little emotional, “Word is still out on whether or not you have brain damage, though.” “Dick,” he muttered. “Asshole,” you said. He’d had a couple surgeries already, but the swelling was still prominent. His face had been wrapped tight and though he was sitting at an angle, it was tough for him to talk for extended periods yet. He had very little feeling in his face, said it was like half his head was full of Novocain all the time making it hard for him to speak. You weren’t going to blow smoke up his ass about his condition. He was out of the toughest part, but he still needed at least one more surgery before they’d let him leave. Jeff had come back about twenty minutes after you’d barged in. He’d brought food back for all of you and you ate a bit and helped Norman with his. With his face feeling numb, eating was a challenge. You just picked up what didn’t stay in and didn’t make a fuss over it. Jeff noticed when Norman was having a hard time keeping his eye open and he nudged you and nodded at Norm. Jeff kissed his forehead on his right side and said his goodbye. “Love you, brother,” he said. “Is there any place on your head where you can feel anything?” you asked him. He pointed to his right cheek. Your heart broke a little for him, but he was tough and you knew he would be fine. You took his right hand, put your left on the back of his neck and kissed him quickly on his cheek. “I love you, too, Norman,” you looked in his eyes. “We have a few more days here before we need to go back. Don’t pitch a hissy when we come back, okay?” “You’re so mean to me,” he said sleepily. “Only ‘cause I like you,” you smirked and stood up. “Jesus, what do you do to people you don’t like?” he grumbled. “I’m sure they live peaceful, happy lives,” you squeezed his hand. “Lucky fucks,” he said. You waved and left him to rest. Jeff and you went to visit Norman during normal visiting hours each of the next few days and brought him things to do so he could kill time. You found him some English crossword puzzles and magazines to look at. When you weren’t with Norman, you and Jeff did some touristy things and, for the most part, had a good time. Seeing Norman all jacked up wasn’t a happy thing, but it was good to see him and you both hoped it would help to lift his spirits. It was time to go home and get back to work.

#second chances #jeffrey dean morgan #jdm #reader insert #jeff x reader #you x jeff #chapter 21 #kazosa

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comicteaparty · 6 years

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February 4th-February 10th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 4th, 2019 to February 10th, 2019. The chat focused on Offshore Comic by Stefan Gasic.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Offshore Comic by Stefan Gasic~! (http://www.offshorecomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until February 10th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite strip in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. Given the comic’s focus on financial markets and all that composes them, what is something this comic has taught you about the subject? Alternatively, what is something you wished you understood better to understand the comic’s comedy?

QUESTION 4. How do you think the comic’s illustrative style and choices help the comedy of the comic? What is one moment where a particular design or image really stood out to you and helped the point the strip was trying to convey?

QUESTION 5. The comic features several recurring subjects like the legitimacy of IQ scores, LLCs, and more. Which of these recurring topics did you like the most? What about it caught your interest?

Stefan G

Hello everyone, 1) Just updated www.offshorecomic.com with a new strip. Check it out. 2) RebelVampire, are your questions intended for me or any new reader? Ciao, Stefan the creator of #Offshorecomic

snuffysam

They're intended for both (still working through the archive)!

keii4ii

Is there a way to get permalinks for individual strips, so I can come back to specific ones at a later time?

Stefan G

Thanks & okay, snuffysam keii4ii, unfortunately there’s no way to get permalinks for individual strips ... I coded the website myself as a side project and am not that good a coder

keii4ii

Oh man, I can relate to that... If I ever get rich, comic website coding and maintenance stuff is the first thing I'll hire someone to do for me

I do like how it loads and makes it easy to read through the archive, for what it's worth.

Stefan G

Thanks for the feedback ... and I totally, totally agree. One could spend a fortune for a coder to take care of all the fixings and stuff ... now I’m learning on the side whenever there’s time left over from work & family.

Stefan G

Answer to Q1 => readers have found the “happiness” strip the best. It’s also one of my favourite ones [succinct & clever & relatable] ...I truly don’t have a favourite strip, but the attached Reto & Urs -strips make me chuckle whenever I read them [I appreciate below-the-waist-humour and/or humour where people are really, really selfish].

lomcia (princess_lom)

1. The newest one is so funny

2. Trader

3. i dont work in office but i cant find nothing to improve that comic, i think the design of characters and humor is on really high lvl 12/10 for me

4. Style is perfect ffor that comic, i wouldnt change it

Stefan G

Answer to Q2 => at the moment my favourite character is the Economist. He’s a genuine IYI [intellectual-yet-idiot] ... which the world is full of and the finance industry in particular. The Economist is easy to write for because I’ve discovered a never ending source of humorous material called the daily financial newspaper ... please find attached also one of my favourite strips

Thank you, lomcia (princess_lom) for your feedback.

lomcia (princess_lom)

your welcome I hope i didnt misunderstood question 3 xD

Stefan G

I think you got everything just right

lomcia (princess_lom)

cool

Stefan G

Answer/comment to Q3 => I’ve spend my professional life in finance, hence, I know every nuance of the industry. However, for the layperson the finance industry [money, banking, insurance, etcetc...] is a big black box of unnecessary complication. My humble attempt with #Offshorecomic is to untangle this complexity and make money related topics more accessible/understandable to anyone ... using humour as my main tool. Finance is more stupid than you think; trust me

I’ll answer the rest tomorrow. Gotta go to now. is like in a totally different time zone and all that Thx again y’all !

RebelVampire

QUESTION 6. Which joke not related to finance did you enjoy the most? What about it made it stand out to you among all the others?

RebelVampire

1) i really enjoyed the life coaching strip about facing reality and lying to yourself. i just really enjoy the bluntness and simplicity by which the self-deception line is delivered. A+ comedy right. 2) i like p-bird because i consider him a much needed counter balance to many of the other characters. he at least has more feet planted in reality. 3) hedge funds. not that i understand them perfectly from the comic, but now theyre more than just a financial word i see tossed around. and despite the very negative absurdist humor regarding them, was still interesting to get some insight into what they actually involved. 4) i think the style overall really balances well with the comedy. a lot of the comedy is reliant on the dialogue, so keeping the illustrations clean, bold, and somewhat simple really helps direct attention to the words. i also really just enjoy the character designs cause every single one really hits that idiot or absurdist mark that needs to be hit. 5) actually i really liked the address of IQ scores. because literally these characters seem like the type whod wind up on r/iamverysmart and use their IQs to talk about how cool they are. so it was kind of nice to see some evidence for that with the subject. that and i always like seeing the concept of IQ being torn apart. 6) i actually liked a lot of the jokes that pertained to the academic sphere in regards to things like publishing and teaching. selfishly it most just stood out to me because academia is something im more familiar with in regards to its simultaneous setup of worthless class structures and cutthroat profs trying to further their careers.

Stefan G

Thank you, RebelVampire, for your thoughtful analysis & feedback I believe that the writing is the most important part in comics ... and the best humorous writing is often blunt & simple [you hit the nail on the head with that comment]. Furthermore, I intentionally designed the strip in a simplistic style in order to A) highlight the writing/gag, B) to save time and C) cuz simple drawings are funny I love to make fun of pompous, self righteous folks ... academics are thus some of my main targets [due to the same reasons I make fun of financial professionals].

Stefan G

Answer to Q4 => My childhood inspiration and spark for cartoons/drawing came from F.Ibanez [Clever & Smart] ... very funny yet simple style. Nowadays I enjoy Dilbert by Scott Adams or the political cartoons from cartoonist Jari Elsilä; also both of them are hilarious without wasting unnecessary lines. I believe a straightforward style highlights the writing and that’s what I’m trying to achieve. Moreover, I love to have backgrounds in my comics [to steer the reader to a particular thought or mood] but hate to draw them and/or dislike it when they clutter the cartoon ... I’m rather happy with a style that I’ve developed over time where I draw the background but reduce the opacity to 25 %. I think that works pretty nice

Stefan G

Answer to Q5 => My favourite themes are 1) anyone predicting the future, 2) mistaking luck for awesome skill and 3) incompetent yet pompous professionals ... there is so much hilarious material right there

Answer to Q6 => I often use the characters Reto und Urs for jokes/strips that are not necessarily financial because they are so endearingly stupid [well, mostly Urs is]. This one makes me chuckle

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. In what ways have any of the strips changed the way you think about life, finances, or any other topic covered in them? Alternatively, what have the strips portrayed that you wish more people knew?

RebelVampire

(the archive for the chat on Poco Adventures is now available https://comicteaparty.com/post/182650076295/january-28th-february-3rd-2019-ctp-archive)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 8. Of all the parodies and jabs at financial markets and life, which do you consider the most on the nose as far as its representation in the comic goes?

RebelVampire

7) the strips have made me realize in a way that this is another industry where basically theres lots of ridiculous junk going on in the background cause you can never remove human faults completely. cause when it comes to finance theres lots of advanced vocabulary and concepts being thrown around usually, so for someone untrained it can sound intimidating and hard to follow. i think these strips do a great job of humanizing things tho and showing that the concepts arent all that alien cause at the end they were created by humans and reflect the desires of humans in a way. 8) one of my faves that i think is totally on the nose is this one where the economist is telling p-bird about ppl on twitter debating him being ignorant. and that his facts and stuff will prevail but p-bird points out that wouldnt even work on the economist. and the economist goes home confused. i think this is way too true for what its like to argue on the internet and how facts and logic get infinitely buried for the sake of narrative.

Stefan G

Excellent analysis/comments, RebelVampire really constructive. The human element is everywhere and money is such an emotionally laden topic that it’s easy to get confused even without the unnecessary complicated vocabulary ...which is often misused even by so-called “professionals”. If my strip has helped you understand all of that and un-demonised the beast, you’ve made me a very happy man Yeah, the Twitter-Fact-Confusion strip is one of my more relatable strips ... I’ve given up on trying to change people’s minds with facts; if changing minds is possible, it can only be achieved through via emotions. It sounds more logical the other way around but that’s not how we work. Here’s a special academically oriented strip just for you, RebelVampire Enjoy

snuffysam

haven't been able to get all the way through the archive yet, but my answer to both #2 and #8 is the Regional Manager. I love all the characters, but there's something to be said for the simplicity of having a guy literally run around headless.

Stefan G

Thanks , snuffysam. I almost forgot about the regional manager. I have to bring him back to life; I also like him ... by the way, there are 308 strips in total.

Answer to Q7 => I can’t claim that any one strip has changed the way I think about life and/or other things ... however, I do believe that writing & drawing Offshore strips has reinforced in me some of the main ideas from my favourite author, Nassim Nicholas Taleb, who’s books have influenced me deeply [e.g. Black Swan, Antifragile, etc etc] ... luck versus skill, thinking about risk and stuff like that. I regularly come back to his books for inspiration and recommend his books & Twitter -feed. Here are two strips that highlight my point ...sort of

Answer to Q8 => wow tough question ... with 99 % of my strips I genuinely try to convey some message about basic human quirks and/or outright stupidities that actually take place on a regular basis when handling money + and then I add my own personal humours twist to it. Here are a few strips with the message never to buy something you don’t understand [a hint: they always have complicated names]...

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What other finance related topics are you hoping to see the comic explore? Which characters are you hoping to see involved with the topic?

Stefan G

Answer to Q9 => As the creator of the strip I’m obviously biased to answer this question, but I’d love to hear what the new readers have to say. I don’t have a particular preference for any topic [except make fun of pompous forecasters ] ... but I feel myself wanting to write & draw more strips for the Markets-Weasel and Reto und Urs. And that’s surprisingly hard to do; forcing it doesn’t work [at least not for me] ... Offshore’s main characters were supposed to be Reto und Urs and somehow P-Bird and the Economist and the trader stole the show. I guess that happens when you get to know your characters better. Funny how that happens ... here’s one nostalgic strip from my early work that I really enjoy

Stefan G

Addition to Q9 => ... I’ve steadily build up an audience on Twitter [@NonMeek] which consist mainly of likeminded financial and/or other professionals ...hence, hearing the viewpoints from anyone outside that sphere would be awesome

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

RebelVampire

9) idk about specific topics, but id like to see the CEO who i think appeared in like one strip. I'm really interested to see the CEO dynamic with the other characters in terms of finance. learn how they view what theyre doing, how they view what the others are doing, etc. but im all for bringing the regional manager back too cause i enjoyed that character as well. a lot of great humor picking fun at how some managerial positions are kind of ridiculous to even exist to a degree. 10) learning more, mostly. overall its nice to see a harder to cover topic in comics. ive enjoyed how approachable and humanized the strips make finances, and how they remind you that professionals can be like this and actually have no clue what theyre doing. @Stefan G that academic oriented strip you shared was actually one of my faves. not necessarily in college, but i see this a lot in the blogosphere where ppl do a thing once and try to pass themselves as qualified experts to deliver advice. XD

Stefan G

@RebelVampire Thanks again for your opinions. Those really help with the development of the strip ... finance is a hard topic indeed and there are no really finance oriented strips out there [that I know of anyway], which is funny cuz the industry is filled with emotions and mind blowing mental errors. I guess people still believe finance & investing is some sort of scientific discipline which it’s really not ... there are hardly any black & white answers to anything even though there’s lots and lots of historical data ... it’s time to fix that myth with Offshore I’m glad you enjoyed that academic strip. It resonated rather well on Twitter too

@RebelVampire [adding to my previous answer] ... I agree that the managers need to be reanimated and given another chance. I’ll try to do that and see how they resonate. I never know beforehand which characters will work and which will fizzle out; e.g. der Compliance Offizier is one of my favourite characters, yet, resonates weakly outside the banking circles ‍♂️ [I love the strip below ].

keii4ii

I would like to see more strips that cracks jokes about this very specific context of finances! Things like that strip about funds blowing up on day 252. I think that gives this comic its own flavor. Readers get to laugh about not just any kind of incompetent people, but incompetent people in this specific field. Readers with no background in finances don't know the context, so more strips that shed light on the context of the jokes would be great.

Stefan G

@keii4ii All valid and excellent points ... I genuinely try to write & design my cartoons in such a way that the joke is understandable even though you don’t know the context. It’s a hard thing to do ... my wife is my toughest critic and she tells me the same as you ... but keep following Offshore and I promise to come up with more stuff like that 252 strip

Answer to Q10 => My ambition with Offshore is to 1) amuse myself first and see if anyone shares my sense of humour [if a cartoon doesn’t amuse me, I don’t publish it]. It’s a splendid way of letting out some frustration from work ... and 2) to make investing & finance more approachable to the layperson by infusing some humour into it in the form of cartoons ... which by the way nobody thought of doing on a serious basis. Weird. However, to produce material on a semi-regular basis I figured that writing only gags/jokes is too much work and/or too shallow of an approach, hence, the characters in the strip need to be interesting/relatable enough in order to create humorous material by mere interaction with each other. That’s easier said than done. I’m quite satisfied with my characters so far but am continuously looking for new interesting characters to add to the strip [either permanently or impermanently]. Like Scott Adams once told me: “The trick with comics is to reflect the reader's own experience. To allow people to say, "That's me!" I’ll conclude with this sneak peek strip [only for you guys] that should relate to the experience of anybody working in a big corporation.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Offshore Comic this week! Please also give a special thank you to Stefan Gasic for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Offshore Comic, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://www.offshorecomic.com/

Stefan’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/NonMeek

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #offshore comic #stefan gasic

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