#some of these veer away from the topic but that's part of the fun

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

Who in Nekoma is Photogenic?? 

Kuroo: Has a bit of a dorky smile and his hair never behaves but not that bad, at least he looks genuinely happy. He prefers candid photos over posed ones even if he looks silly. Also the type to get very sentimental over pictures, he loves to scroll through his camera roll every once in a while and laugh at them with his friends. Later in life he keeps physical photo albums and his JVA office is covered in picture frames.

Yaku: As the objectively coolest guy on Nekoma how could he not be photogenic? A closed-mouth smiler but he makes it look good, the lighting always seems to work in his favor too. He prefers sitting/crouching photos cause they don't emphasize his height.

Kai: THE BEST SMILE, he always looks the happiest to be there. He's usually the one offering to take photos of everyone else but then Kuroo and Yaku yell at him to ask a stranger so they can all be in it. Teases Yaku for fixing his hair beforehand cause y'know. Buzzcut.

Kenma: You just know he's hitting you with a classic Kenma squint. Can't smile on command nor does he bother trying, he groans when someone suggests taking a photo and complains until it's over. But sometimes Kuroo will hit him with a sneak attack and he looks radiant for some reason??

Tora: Can't fake a smile to save his life, looks like he's shitting himself in every photo. He's the type of guy to ask for a countdown but it never helps. Ironically one of the only ones who actually cares about his looks in photos so yeah he's just suffering.

Fukunaga: Either the cutest little cat smile or staring into space like he's having war flashbacks, no inbetween. Does bunny ears on whoever's in front of him or something weird that people only notice days later. Master at photo bombing.

Lev: I hate to say it but he's the most photogenic on the team, he does become a model after all. It's so effortless for him, it always seems to be golden hour when someone pulls a camera out in his presence. Pisses off everyone, especially Yaku who tries to catch him off-guard to prove that he's not that photogenic. This only frustrates him further ("HOW DO YOU STILL LOOK LIKE A MAGAZINE MODEL EATING CEREAL?!")

Inuoka: A goofy grin to rival Kuroos, he's just excited to be there. Sometimes him and Shibayama plan cute little duo poses together, they'd totally have a connected senior quote. Usually does a peace sign or a wave, something with his hands.

Shibayama. There's a 50% chance he's closing his eyes in every photo they take. One of the only ones who cares about how he looks along with Tora, he fusses with his hair a lot and always thinks he looks bad even when it's fine. Has worried about it less since Inuoka made photos more fun.

Teshiro: The photographer goes "Hey Teshiro, can you try smiling?" and he's like "am I not??". Completely straight-faced no matter how hard he tries, canonically he's kinda self-concious about his eyebrows so I don't think he'd like photos very much. Tried open-lipped smiling once and people thought he was gnashing his teeth so he never did it again.

[ratgirlexe]

Beyond Citadel

CWs: Gun Violence, Death, Gore, Incest, Body horror.

Beyond Citadel is a beautiful indie boomer shooter style FPS. It's gunplay is fantastic, it's story is esoteric, and it's atmosphere is beautiful. It's a great game and I highly recommend it with some very heavy caveats. It is a game that leans into the ultra violence inherent to the act of killing someone with a gun, and as such it's a game that comes with some pretty heavy Content warnings. While I feel some other retro-inspired FPS games as of late have also leaned into this idea of hyper-violence, (ULTRAKILL springs to mind) there's a certain grainy grit to it that I really enjoy that other games lack. ULTRAKILL, for all of it's blood-is-fuel ultraviolence rarely leans into what that sort of violence looks like in reality. In contrast, Beyond Citadel is *gruesomely* aware of what it looks like to hold a gun to someone's head and pull the trigger. It revels in this fact. The girls in this game are highly "gib"-able and as such you will regularly throw a grenade into a crowded room and after it explodes walk into a room full of viscera and half-dead women panting or gurgling on their own bloom, many of whom are now missing limbs. It does so with a delightful PNG aesthetic that is both wonderfully simple, and extremely detailed. If you shoot one of these PNG soldiers in the arm, their arm will be blown off, shoot them in the head and you'll punch a hole in their skull. Playing this game feels like the way reactionary talking heads discussed the dangers of violent video games in the aughts. Playing this game feels like being a cat playing with a dying rat. It's wonderful! I love it. But beyond this the game is just extremely fun to play. Shooting and reloading a weapon in this game feels like porn in every sense of the word. While some milsims might have more detailed mechanics for jamming/loading/unloading/fixing/repairing guns, Beyond Citadel allows for a degree of control that feels accurate and realistic, without being so bogged down in the details of how every individual part of the weapon goes together. Reloading takes three separate buttons, each of which represents a unique aspect of the reloading process. For some guns, reloading is as simple as loading a bullet into a chamber, some are significantly more complicated, involving a set 5 button-press combination of inputs. This might sound finicky and difficult to manage, but in the midst of combat it allows for a degree of panic when a gun randomly jams, or you're forced out of your comfort zone. This also adds a level of balance to some of the stronger weapons. Easy-to-use weapons might have simple reloading mechanics, while powerful heavy weaponry requires a significant amount of inputs to reload, but can blow most enemies away when they have ammo.

An anecdote on this topic that endlessly delights me, is the fact that at one point I managed to fully jam the AMR by accidentally reloading it's magazine with an open chamber and a bullet already loaded. This meant that the bullet in the open chamber couldn't be slotted, and since the chamber was open I couldn't fire. I had to take out the full magazine, close the chamber, fire while the magazine was unloaded, then reload the magazine to actually utilize the weapon, and the fact that this is simulated so accurately continues to blow me away. In any other arcade-style FPS this wouldn't be possible, since reloading would either be automated or simplified to a single button press but even so, the fact that you can fuck up your weapon that badly just by reloading it improperly is a really beautiful bit of programming to me.

But those are still really just the tip of the iceberg, as there's a lot going on in the deeper levels and the story that I want to discuss as well! This will be veering away from the format of a game review and into a short essay on my thoughts, but I'll keep the spoilery bits below the cut.

So. Beyond Citadel is weird, right? Like. The vibes are fantastic, but ultimately the story it's telling is pretty contemplative which is in stark contrast to the ultra-violence that is the gameplay. This can be seen in the simple music choice, which is largely soft piano tracks (with the occasional bit of upbeat electro retro goodnes) which make the game almost peaceful as you blow through swarms of demons and gun-wielding girls. It lends itself to a really beautiful experience, which leaves you almost in a trance as you progress through the game, even as the *act* of what you're doing is gruesome and awful. In my mind it mirrors the way in which the Martyr is progressing through the story. She's not here for the killing, even as every other NPC begs her to kill and kill and kill, she just... does not care. She's not here for that. She'll do it, yes, because she has to, but there's an air of indifference that really lends to that feeling of being a force of nature. This is increasingly explicit as you get deeper into the game, killing demons almost as an afterthought. Early on you're ducking behind cover, taking potshots at grunts and picking enemies off one by one, but by the end of the game you're nearly unkillable, even on the hardest difficulty. At a certain point the game just gives up on the idea of having lives entirely, and that's great! It's fun to see a game that is so willing to break its own rules for what the game *is*.

And then you beat the game. You kill the last demon, and that's that! The goal given to you by basically every character is complete. You kill the final boss, and that's that. It's a fine fight, and the level containing it is *genuinely* a bit cruel, but at that point you're so kitted out that even when the game is being unfair you can blast your way through most of your problems with ease.

And then the game gives you a fucking wall-run.

It gives you a wallrun *after* you beat the game, which is used in no other part of the game, but the epilogue.

It's truly a beautiful amazing thing, and I was genuinely floored. After such a delightful, fun game, it feels like a flex by the developer to have what would be a mainline mechanic in basically any other game, included essentially as a little bonus flair on top.

If this game was not made by a solo developer, if it had a publisher that was dictating what could and couldn't be in the game, this decision would never be made. It's genuinely insane to put your coolest power up in a handful of bonus levels at the end of the game, and not even allow for it to be used to break earlier levels in new game plus. And that led me to consider more on how *none* of this game could really have been made with significant publisher oversight, or as anything but the vision of one person who clearly loves guns and loves retro FPS games.

Much has been said by the developer about how this is *NOT* a guro fetish game. How this is *NOT* a porn game that freaks *DEFINITELY* should not get off to. And while I get where the developer is coming from (plenty of Japanese games are labeled as "fetish art" just because they feature anime style women), I do think there's a reason that my guro-fetish loving ass enjoys this game. Maybe the developer doesn't view it as fetish art, but when the girls are panting on the ground, gurgling on their own blood and you get to stomp their lights out, or put a bullet in their brain, or chop them up until their guts come out, it *is* pretty delightful.

But none of that would be possible with a publisher lording over the game. Hell, I don't even think the gunplay mechanics could get put in a more mainstream game that wasn't advertising itself as a tactical milsim.

Because this game is risky! It's niche! It's a small game where you blow pretty anime girl's brains out with guns that feel like glossier adaptations of real life weapons. Clearly a ton of love went into this game, but ultimately that descriptor just isn't going to fly with most audiences. Most people who like "violent" video games like games where there's a bit of blood, or you can chop peoples arms off and its a bit red inside. Most people do not want a game where when you die your guts come spilling out and you get to watch in your final moments as a giant spider creature tears your body apart until all you are is a severed head above a ribcage and spine. Most people who like FPS games like the feeling of shooting a gun without having any conception about what that actually entails. They like when you press R to reload and a gun has a good spray pattern or whatever, not when you have to actively unload the last chamber, and manually put in each bullet, and pull the handle on your SMG and your guns jam and sometimes you reload it wrong and your gun is out of commission until you do a 5 step process to fix it. Most people who like games with rich narratives like games where the story feels like a sweeping narrative, not a game where the story is patched together from different esoteric things people tell you, in which the story largely revolves around the fact that the main character and her little brother fucked. While this game is fantastic, it's just not a game for most people. I have several friends I love to recommend games to, and even then there's only one of them that I can *actually* recommend the game to, because a third of them will be put off by the scantily clad women, half will be put off by the gore, and the rest probably just wouldn't enjoy the gunplay or style of game that it is.

And that's okay! That's great! I'm just so glad that I played it, because this game feels laser targeted to me specifically, and it's a game I will be thinking about and replaying for a very very long time to come.

[kao-tika]

hi again! ✨ here’s another fic rec, this time about fics that are based off movies or books let me know what you think 🎞️📚🩷

☆ Who Painted the Moon Black by throughthedark

“People died,” Harry whispers so quietly Louis strains to hear. “People died, and I killed some of them. How does life just go on after something like that?”

Louis shakes his head. “I don't know. It just does.”

Hunger Games AU where Louis Tomlinson is district six's victor from the 69th Hunger Games and Harry Styles is district seven's victor from the 72nd Hunger Games.

notes: this is one of my favorite fics of all time, you don’t have to be a big HG fan to enjoy this story ( but if you are i think it’s very accurate to the saga) so beautifully written and so gut wrenching in equal parts, amazing ending, cannot recommend it enough <3

☆ Take My Breath Away by RealityBetterThanFiction

There is a prestigious school in the British Royal Navy classified as Premier Delta - or as it is known by its flyers, 1D. These select pilots are an elite set of Naval lieutenants who are trained in the skill of aggressive aerial combat. They are instruments of war, trained in times of peace. They are dogfighters, relentless and fearless in their mission to protect their beloved country. From their lofty vantage, they are always watching, waiting, and ready to lay it all on the line.

Lt. Harry Styles, call sign Sparrow, is a prodigy when it comes to flying. The owner of an unrivaled Naval pedigree, being a pilot was always written in the stars for Harry. With his trusty RIO, Lt. Niall Horan, Harry has made an unprecedented ascension in the ranks of the Naval aerial combat elite, and has been recruited to the esteemed Premier Delta flight school, carrying on his family’s legacy. What he finds there are unexpected friendships, perilous challenges, and something beyond what he ever thought possible. Because as his father had always told him, before the great Captain Styles went tragically missing in combat, you don’t fall in love with the sky, you fall in love with what keeps you on the ground.

notes: checking the fic again for this rec I can’t find if it said it explicitly BUT this one gives mayor top gun vibes throughout the whole story, a really fun and cute fic

☆ The Afterlife Fic (The Best I Ever Had in My Entire Life... Or Death) by LovingCup

AU- After dying in an accident, Louis Tomlinson arrives in the Afterlife. Not Heaven and not Hell, Louis finds himself in Judgment City UK: a pristine city where the food and entertainment are divine and the newly departed must undergo a Review of their life on Earth to determine if they have lived a life worthy of advancement in the universe, or if they must be returned to Earth to be born again in a new body.

On his first full day in the Afterlife, Louis meets Harry Styles, and the two have an instant connection. Over the course of their Reviews, they fall in love and begin to find that even though they didn't know each other on Earth, they are nonetheless linked to one another in perfect ways. Both are hoping to move ahead in the universe together, but they are challenged with the threat of separation if one or both of them is sent back to Earth to be born again.

Loosely based on the Albert Brooks' film "Defending Your Life" starring Brooks and Meryl Streep. One scene in particular is drawn from the movie, but other than that scene and the general concept, this story veers far away from the film. There were no blowies in the 1991 movie, I swear!

notes: another one of my favorites! for what I remember, a long read, but so worth it. This story touches on topics of grief, loss, love, life and fears through the life of Louis and Harry and how they navigate their relationship in the afterlife (ends good).

☆ You Fill My Lungs With Sweetness (Can I Be Close to You?) by sideofzemblanity

Busy picturing Harry’s stupid face on the stupid dummy, Louis goes through a series of kicks before returning to a low guard and cycling through punches. Harry’s still talking, gesturing with his hands as he rounds Louis, standing to his back. “You do a few butt-shaping exercises, tighten this up a little bit,” he smacks Louis’ arse and the omega freezes while Harry cheerfully continues, “you could pull this off.”

“You know what?” Louis snaps, lifting on his tiptoes to get the leverage so he can wrap his arm around the alpha’s neck, forcing him to bend in half while Louis locks him in a chokehold. “Pull this off,” he snarls. They stagger over a few steps, Louis gritting his teeth as Harry tries to break free. “Is it because Payne hates me?” he complains, voice edging on an annoyed whine, “Or is it, like, an omega thing?”

Too late, Louis realizes that Harry has got a grip on his leg and this time as he pulls against Louis’ hold, it loosens, the alpha lifting him in the air before slamming his back into the mat, breaking Louis’ grip completely. Harry kneels on the mat, hovering over him with a sneer, “Don’t kid yourself. Nobody thinks of you that way.”

aka the Miss Congeniality ABO AU nobody asked for

notes: SOOO funny, has a little bit of angst, friends to lovers, a short read so you don’t have excuses;)

☆ Come My Love Again by softfonds

Harry Styles is handsome, clever, and rich. At least that’s what his friends say of him. He also thinks of himself as a matchmaker in Highbury, pairing people together when he finds the time. But when the arrival of a certain gentleman flips Harry’s world on its head, he starts to question everything that was once all too familiar to him, including his relationship with his good friend, Mr. Tomlinson. An Emma AU.

notes: I really enjoyed the little bit of angst on this fic, i think it’s omegaverse if i don’t remember it wrong?. enjoy of Louis being a classic gentlemen

☆ In The Still Of The Night by jacaranda_bloom

In a society where omegas are expected to follow a predetermined path, Louis strives for more; for his voice to be heard, for recognition, for true love.

In a world where your past defines your future, Harry fights against the system; for equality, for a different life, for acceptance.

When their two worlds collide, will they be beaten down by conformity or will they rise up and forge a new path together?

OR the Dirty Dancing AU where Louis is a feisty omega who wants to change the world, Harry is an alpha from the wrong side of the tracks, and nobody puts Louis in a corner.

notes: the fic that I didn’t know I need, is dirty dancing with larry do I really need to say more?

☆ in a world alone by falsegoodnight

Harry’s breath catches as the glow grows bigger and bigger until he’s squinting his eyes and blinking at the sudden intense brightness. He closes his eyes, rubbing at them helplessly. When his eyes open again- he gasps, grip loosening on his bow as he gawks at the sight before him.

Because the swan is gone.

And in its place is the prettiest omega Harry has ever seen.

A Swan Lake AU

notes: a really cute one shot, fairy tale vibes ;)

☆ hold on to your heart by falsegoodnight

“Come here for a second.”

Harry’s brows furrow, glancing aside like he thinks Louis may be talking to someone else. Louis jerks his head beside him, impatient, and the alpha steps into the room cautiously.

Louis turns back to Royce and Hunt who are staring at him in confusion. He pastes a pleasant smile onto his face, clasping his hands together. “Gentlemen, I understand. I understand the predicament that we are in…” He clears his throat. “But there is something you should know.”

“What is this, Louis?” Royce asks, exchanging a look with Hunt.

Taking a few steps backward until he is beside a very bewildered looking Harry, Louis takes a deep breath. “We are, uh –” He reaches out and touches Harry’s arm. You cannot actually be doing this, he thinks. But then he does. “We are getting married.”

The Proposal AU, where Louis is the no-nonsense editor in chief of one of the largest publishing houses in the country, and Harry is the unlucky assistant that gets roped into a fake engagement to prevent his boss from being deported. Things don't go as planned.

notes: really funny and cute I enjoyed reading it sm!!

☆ through chaos as it swirls, it’s us against the world by sweetfairydreams

corporal styles is sent on a suicidal mission, at his hands the lives of hundreds of men that are going straight into a trap. he ends up finding louis, the french and most beautiful boy he ever seen, and a baby, in a basement of a dead city.

based on the movie 1917

notes: a cute and wholesome story <3

──⋆˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆˚｡⋆──

[silverwarewolf]

🥀 - Favorite unusual compliment? (ie "You're crunchy")

💎 - Favorite thing about yourself? (Appearance, personality, etc)

and

🎀 - What character do you feel represents NPD best?

:3

Yes, yes, thanks for the ask!! For the many questions!! I love answering questions!! Ask game here.

I have the same energy as a hamster who is being studied, sometimes. Which does tie into the first question.

🥀- Well, I love compliments in general. Surprising, right? (/sarcasm). But this is about unusal compliments. There's one that I have gotten textually which was "you need to be studied in a lab," and honestly, yes! It reminds me of that one scene in b99 where Gina has the attention of an entire group of professionals.

There's also the category of compliments that are normal ones but said in a freaked out tone. For example, when I mention some strange and unusual fact and people are like "you're so knowledgeable" but they have visibly been dealt psychic damage by what I just said. It's fun!

Last but not least, frogboiling. "You talk so much about [strange and unusual topic] that I like it now / am desensitized to it / think about it sometimes" is HELL YEAH from me. Alas, I suppose it starts to veer away from "unusual compliment" territory.

💎- I feel like a cat who has been given a sack of catnip?? Hello?? Mm, well. is it cheating when I say "my vibe"? Perhaps if I specifically say "being reliable / dependable / a role model," which I know I am.

I've taught people how to cook / bake. I've taught people how to paint and write and sew. I am always ready to offer good advice, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, etc. I have very sharp senses so I can help people identify smells / flavors / sounds from really far away / who is walking nearby. I know various methods of healing! And uhhh I also think I'd make a great parent someday teaching so many skills - and singing, boy I can't wait to sing lullabies I know they would love my lullabies.

🎀- hmm! hmm hmm hmm let me think... i rarely retain information about characters who are canonically disordered, and there's also the whole "good representation" nuance aspect... not to mention that i'm sure my other disorders also change the ways i act, lmao!

all this to say that this comes from a personal feeling of "oh yeah it would be so tasty if this character had npd, they own it, i love it."

of course, shout out to my boy narcissus who was so upset about the inexistence of clonefucking that he died <- GREATLY EXAGGERATED SUMMARY OF THE MYTH at least the version i know

Okina Matara, from Touhou Project. Ah, I could ramble for hours about this series if given the opportunity, but I shall not. Instead, quote the wiki, she has no mercy for disrespect and graciously blesses those she favors, is ostentatious, prideful, confident, self-centered, a mastermind of incidents, has connections to MANY parts of the lore and mythology, and ultimately her first appearance was all about drawing attention and reverence to herself. Plus, she has a canonical connection to disabilities!

Yukari Yakumo / Maribel Hearn, also from Touhou Project. Ditto, I will mostly quote the wiki. She is a mastermind, has incredible intellect, very abstract and private goals, a facade of whimsy and deceit while also actively enjoying making others fear her, and is generally considered as someone who calls the shots. She also has quite the flowery language. Furthermore, as Maribel, she is othered for her tastes / demeanor / abilities, and textually calls herself a celebrity who should be indulged.

Asuka Langley, from Evangelion. Mainly Soryu, as I've yet to watch the rebuild movies, but from what I hear, they don't change her personality that much. Anyhow. The very explicit need for attention and praise, and huge dependance on her self worth (and others' acknowledgement of her worth) is very npd to me. Granted, given the nature of Evangelion, going in depth about the characters' psyches is... a complex venture.

Lapis Lazuli, from Houseki no Kuni. Oh boy oh boy I LOVE HnK, it has such WONDERFUL themes of body horror and existentialism and peace. Anyway. Quote the wiki. He has a charming, leading personality, extremely smart, curious, and at times manipulative. They have been called surprisingly deceitful (could conceal secrets for centuries). So yeah, I love him.

Ahaha, I rambled on quite a bit, didn't I? Again, thanks for the ask!!

[ciaossu-imagines]

Izumi Tachibana headcanons

I do think that, as a child, Izumi was always a little bit more of a daddy’s girl. Everything her father did, to young Izumi’s mind, was the right thing and he was a little bit of a hero figure to her. She wanted to be just like him and he helped cultivate her love of theatre. She got along just fine with her mother. It wasn’t like there was distance between them and they didn’t fight much. They just never developed as close a relationship as Izumi’s mother might have preferred to have with her daughter. Things did get rockier between Izumi and her mother after Yukio disappeared. The longer Yukio remained gone, the longer things went without word from Yukio, the worse things came to be between mother and daughter, especially as Izumi always felt the instinctive need to defend her father. Things got better with time, as the topic of Yukio became something that both learned to just not talk about. The two of them learned to live with each other, to develop some closeness, and the fights only ever came up again when Yukio was spoken about. I don’t think that Izumi’s mother really fully approves of her work and her desire to be a part of Mankai. While she is happy that Izumi is enjoying herself and while her mother does want to support Izumi, she can’t bring herself to do so. There’s always a part of Izumi’s mother that fears that Mankai will take her daughter away from her, just like it took her husband away from her.

Izumi’s always been quite outgoing. She’s naturally friendly and she has a genuine curiosity about other people. She likes people and she wants to know them. This translates well to others, who find Izumi easy to get to know and who find her genuine interest in them flattering. Most people find her to be pretty quietly charismatic. She has never had many problems making friends and better yet, she’s had very few problems forming true friendships, more than just surface-level friendly acquaintances. Izumi is also quite observant. While she definitely double-guesses whether her suspicions are correct or double-guesses whether it’s appropriate and okay to say certain things to people, she does recognize a lot of things when it comes to those around her. She’s sensitive to small changes in her friends or people she cares about. She’s going to notice when something’s perhaps going on with a friend, though she will often wait to approach her friends or loved ones about those things. She wants to give them the chance to come to her first – she doesn’t want to be too pushy. If she thinks something is serious enough though, she will talk to her friends or loved ones about what she’s been noticing. She’s always super honest about everything, but she has a way of approaching these conversations with a friendly, comforting, non-judgmental attitude that just sort of allows all but the most guarded of people to drop their walls and open up to her.

Izumi, contrary to what it might look like at times, does care about fashion. She likes looking cute and she puts thoughts into her outfits. She finds a lot of fun in fashion. To her, it’s endlessly interesting how people take all these different fashion trends, current and past, add them to the person’s likes and personality, and develop their own unique senses of style. When it comes to her own personal style, she tends to prefer things that are both comfortable, practical, but also simple, clean, and classic. Her sense of style tends to skew a little bit more towards tomboyish – it’s rare to find her in a dress or skirts as she prefers to live in her jeans or leggings. She tends to prefer her tops a little on the loose or baggy side, though she can’t stand an ill-fitting pair of jeans. Her accessories tend to be small and simple. She doesn’t like clothes with loud patterns or super-bold designs and tends to veer towards solid colours or classic patterns like stripes. She tends to get both cold and hot easily, so she often wears layers.

I think a lot of the toiletries and such that Izumi uses are unscented or just very lightly scented. She doesn’t like strong smells when it comes to her shampoo and conditioner or her soap and so she searches out products that are unscented. Because she is conservative in her budget for those things, sometimes she does have to buy something with some scent, but she always chooses something with a very light, clean smell – vaguely citrus or something that smells like baby shampoo or such. When it comes to her deodorants, they’re either unscented or baby powder scented. The only scent she uses is a body mist she is fond of and she applies it lightly. It’s, again, citrusy, and just very fresh and clean smelling. You can’t really smell Izumi unless you’re close to her, within her personal space. Because she’s quite hygienic, it’s not often that she’ll end up smelling like body odor – it takes a really good workout for that to happen and she’s almost always the first one to notice that she’s starting to smell, which makes her automatically want to go bathe.

I don’t think that, outside of theatre, Izumi has a lot of hobbies. Theatre is her passion and, even after she stopped acting, she made sure to be able to continue on with it by helping with backstage stuff and then going headfirst into her role in Mankai. It takes up a lot of her time, but she never feels like she’s lacking anything in her life because she’s getting to live, day in and day out, being a part of something so precious to her. She’s really happy, even without having much free time or other hobbies. The few hobbies she does have outside of theatre are small, simple things that she fills her spare hours with – she enjoys colouring books, theatre based podcasts, has a couple television shows (mostly comedies or dramas) that she likes to follow. She enjoys shopping, even just window-shopping. When it comes to staying fit, she likes both running and yoga, though those aren’t things she takes a lot of time anymore to routinely do.

I do believe that Izumi believes, even just a bit, in the paranormal and supernatural. She likes to believe that she doesn’t. She puts on a really good face, even to herself, and during most of her day to days, she can reassure herself with cold logic that such things don’t exist. However, watching scary movies or hearing ghost stories, while she can pretend she’s unfazed in the moment, do get under her skin. It’s not bad until it’s dark and she’s all alone, walking around the dorms or the theatre or even just laying in bed. That’s when the thoughts and worries, the fears that something’s just right behind her, invade her mind. It also doesn’t happen that, while in Mankai, she’s been shown that at least one of their paranormal related stories is true, making it much harder for her to keep that logic forefront in her brain when it comes to the subject.

Izumi doesn’t have a lot of strong fears. The things that do scare her though rock her down to her very core and are usually rather serious fears. She fears never getting to see her father again. While she always reassures herself that he has to be fine, he has to be fine, the thought that maybe he’s in trouble, maybe he’s even possibly dead, has entered her mind before coming to Mankai. She is scared of Mankai not succeeding, of losing the theatre. On top of that, she has a pretty serious fear of being involved in some sort of accident that would leave her paralyzed. To someone as spirited as she is, who is as active as she is, and being in theatre, where being handicapped physically can make it impossible to be backstage or to be useful on stage depending on the theatre in question, being confined to a wheelchair or unable to move, especially when the paralysis is from the neck down, terrifies her. She knows it’s wrong to feel that way, that people in wheelchairs can be happy and useful, but still…she has nightmares about it, nonetheless.

Izumi isn’t exactly a late bloomer when it comes to romance. She had childish crushes and she did date. She’s had a couple first dates with people that went nowhere, was dragged along to one mixer, and she’s had one serious relationship that ended amicably. Romance isn’t something completely unknown to her. It’s just that it’s not a huge priority for her. She has other things that she wants to accomplish or focus on. Add to that that, unless the romantic gestures are glaringly obvious, Izumi has a tendency to not realize people are flirting with her and it means that, when it comes to romance, she’s a little hopeless. She’s not going to be upset if she does develop a romantic connection with someone. She’s open to falling in love. She’s simply not actively looking for it at the moment.

Izumi isn’t vain. Far from it – her looks are also not her first priority. However, she does care about taking care of herself. She cares about staying healthy and exercising. She cares about eating properly (though she also isn’t shy about allowing herself some treats). She cares about taking care of her skin and hair. She gets regular haircuts – because she’s not flush with money, she gets it done at a semi-local hairdressing school by the students and she’s only once walked away with any regrets about it. Her skincare routine is simple but effective – she only spends the money on things that she really has trouble with, like a good moisturizer since she’s prone to dry skin.

When it comes to games, card games in particular, Izumi is terrible at poker. She always gives herself away while playing, even when she believes she’s got a good poker face on. She can be a little overconfident while playing too, going broke early on. While the boys in the dorms normally treat her very respectfully and with great consideration, that kind of goes out the window when it comes to poker, where they can sometimes take advantage of her terrible luck with that. However, while it’s not common that she’ll jump into Mahjong when the boys are playing it, she’s got an insane amount of luck with the game. She’s good at it, don’t get me wrong, but it seems like every game she plays, she’s having the best streak of ‘beginner’s luck’ that a person can get.

[varpusvaras]

I think that at least some part that makes it a bit upsetting is the fact that there is many times no examination of the status quo. Not every fic needs to be the next Andor, of course, but if you are putting serious topics in your fic, like rape, sexual assault, physical and emotional abuse etc. then you have to see it through as well. You need to think about the reason why these things are happening in your fic, both from why you as the author are putting them in, and why in universe are these things happening like they are depicted. In "Coruscant Guard gets horribly abused" fics it many times boils down to the mentioned "they have no rights and the Senators are assholes because they have power over the clones" but in reality, it is "the system of slavery lets the masters abuse their slaves" and that is an entirely different thing than "a few bad people do bad things to these other people". It's honestly quite depressing to read a fic that goes into all the abuse that the system allows to happen to the clones, and then the system is never actually addressed. The Republic that allowed there to be people who have no value as living beings cannot continue to exist as it is. You either need to do something about it or not go there at all.

It is also very good for everyone to take a step back every now and then and really examine popular fanon tropes and characterisations. Many times those are not tagged at all, so going into the fic you cannot know if it's going to be there. For example, I stopped reading fics what had Fox and Quinlan as a ship because multiple times I ended up reading about a dynamic that veered either very close or directly into Quinlan harassing Fox and that harassment being depicted as romantic. I guess the intention was it to be banter or sarcasm or something, but many times the intent did not come through, and instead it was "Quinlan will break into Fox's personal space and touch him constantly and call him nicknames all the while Fox tells him no, no, no, no and then they end up together." I do not personally enjoy this characterisation nor this trope, but it seemed to be popular enough that people did not consider tagging it in any way, so I just gave up with the ship altogether because I cannot be bothered to read through every single fic just to manually filter out the fics that have this in them.

As a rule of thumb: think about what you are writing, decide if you are able to write about serious topics respectfully and deliver on it, and tag accordingly. Writing about darker things is not a bad thing, and everyone needs to curate their own fandom experience, but sometimes tropes and such end up becoming really omnipresent and are impossible to get away from. Even if fics and fandom are for fun, it does not mean that you can do no wrong ever. Doing wrong doesn't make you a bad person, either, unless you start doubling down on it à la E L James and say that actually having your spouse beat you and stalk you is romantic. You can take the most unproblematic and healthy trope or ship or whatever and accidentally end up with something entirely else than what you started with if you don't pay attention to what you are writing.

Maybe I just have terrible literary analysis when it comes to fics, maybe I’m just a hater, but I never know how to feel about Coruscant Guard fics that star Fox or someone else staying in the Guard, or having Fox becoming a senator/representative/chancellor, willingly or otherwise, after the war, when the entire story beforehand is just uncensored torture the whole time.

The Guard remaining as a force on Coruscant where they no longer have all the power + responsibilities they received over the course of the war is alright, although sometimes it feels just a little off because of the aforementioned torture, ha.

But Fox taking any sort of senatorial role after all of that? Yes, there’s a lot of nuance that goes into these things. Abuse victims often find it hard to leave, even if the ability to finally leave is handed to them, and Fox is usually written as extremely self sacrificing, but that isn’t ever factored into the choice.

The narrative always frames it as a positive, even the subtext. Fox will be written to be unhappy about it, but the subtext is comedic, for example. It’s never, “I feel like I have to do this, even though I don’t want to,” or “they’re making me do this without my input and this entire story has been about all my choices taken from me, so I guess I have to cuz it’s always been this way.”

It’s ironic that even in a fanfic Fox still isn’t given a choice lmao. Or that after 3 years of being [redacted] in whatever flavour of torture the author decides upon, Fox is like, yeah sure. I’ll stay and willingly work in the house of horrors as a senator.

Maybe I’m too woke for this, and taking fun stories made for fun too seriously IDK!

part 2 where i go a tiny bit more in-depth on why this bothers me

edit: please check out the replies by notangel8 and varpusvaras if you’re interested in more meta thoughts! they bring up great points about the infantilisation of clones, and how they’re still adults who are allowed to make their own choices.

[rpmemesbyarat]

Unsympathetic Evil Done Right

“You’re not gonna shoot a puppy, are ya Jack?!” “Yeah, in the face, why?” NOTE: NO SPOILERS! SPOILER FREE! A lot has been written about how to make nuanced, noble, and/or sympathetic villains done right. I think I’ve probably written about that too, pretty sure I have. But today I’m going to cover the equal and opposite quandary: How to make a purely evil, unsympathetic villain who knowingly delights in being evil, but not have them be one-note or boring? I think Big Jack Horner in “Puss In Boots: The Last Wish” is a really good example, and he’s from a piece of media that is recent and popular enough that most people will know who he is, he’s not some obscure reference. That said, none of this contains any spoilers for the film, so if you haven’t see it, you’re safe, read on—if you DARE! I think there are a few things that make Jack really work. Firstly, he’s fun to watch while also being scary. He’s both hilarious and threatening, hitting that incredibly difficult sweet spot of being both comedic and a legitimate threat. It’s very difficult for bad guys to be both funny AND scary, since making something funny typically takes away its power to frighten us. But when a bad guy can do both, they become really fun for the audience. You’re not rooting for them, you don’t think they’re good people, but they’re damn entertaining. And yet, we still fear for the protagonist against them. We may logically know that of course the hero will triumph, especially in a children’s movie, but we have to at least wonder HOW that will happen. Jack’s established as a threat from the start, showing a cruel personality very early AND a vast armory of magical items combined with a task force of workers to help him. Even one of the other antagonists treats him with great caution. He’s still not the most dangerous of the lot (Puss in Boots sports THREE antagonistic people or groups) but you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who didn’t find him the funniest, I bet. Part of Jack’s charm is how much fun he himself is having. He’s clearly just enjoying himself immensely up until the very end. He is ENTHUSIASTIC. He is ALL IN. Being a stoic, serious villain absolutely works better for a lot of bad guys, but these are typically for the ones who veer to the “purely scary” side, not the “scary and funny” side. Jack obviously loves what he does, and what he does happens to be being a bastard a lot. His callous disregard for the lives and wellbeing of everyone, including and especially his own men, is also played to the max for black comedy. Another part of his charm is his self-awareness; Jack very much knows he’s awful, and doesn’t try to disguise it in the slightest, nor does he lament it. There’s no scrap of shame at all, and he in fact mocks a character who thought it might be otherwise. Not only does the movie never ask you to feel sorry for him, he never does either. He does have a backstory to explain his motivations, and I like it because it does make it understandable WHY he wants what he does, it just also doesn’t make him sympathetic in the the slightest because it only serves to play up how callow and entitled that he is. You get an explanation that makes sense, but “making sense” for this character also means “emphasizing that much more what an asshole he is” Note that I do think unsympathetic characters can still have very sympathetic backstories and be done well (one of my fave baddies is like that) but that’s another topic, and not Jack. Finally, he’s not the only villain. As mentioned, there’s three antagonistic parties in this film. Of them, Jack’s the only one who could be called evil. One of the others is just doing his job/fulfilling his natural role and that threatens Puss. The other is competing with Puss & Co for the same goal, and is willing to do harm to the heroes to achieve it, but that goal really isn’t any more selfish or unsympathetic than Puss or Kitty’s own goals, and the character is very much a human being, as are her cohorts (though they’re not human, but you get what I mean!) So, Jack is a comically evil bastard who is evil through and through with no excuse, and he’s awesome and fun enough, but he’s also balanced by more nuanced villains who are really less “villains” and more “obstacles to the protagonist in some way” , one a force of nature, the other someone with a goal they can’t achieve without thwarting Puss’s goal. It is definitely hard to pull off in a movie especially because of the limited time, but I think having multiple types of villains in a single work—especially a series, like a comic book or a television show—really helps with pulling each type off that much better. The noble and sympathetic villains can play off and contrast against the complete monsters, and you don’t need to choose between one or the other. In fact, what tends to irritate me most in a series, is when ALL villains are a single type—they’re all super redeemable tragic misunderstood woobies, or they’re all 2D evil cardboard cutouts who eat babies for kicks, etc. People will debate with each other all day about which is more realistic, but I think what’s most realistic AND most interesting for a reader/viewer/consumer is a nice mixed bag of diverse villains. Diverse here meaning diverse personality, diverse motives, diverse ranks on the ‘terrible person’ scale, etc. Again, this isn’t doable in every work. But I think Big Jack type characters can still work well in a solo role as well. Good examples of this abound in the Disney Renaissance films—Scar, Ursula, Gaston, and Jafar are all the perfect combination of hilariously hammy and seriously scary that Jack taps into. This need not be limited to children’s media either, though I think it does work best there. But enjoyable “pure evil” villains in darker, more adult works can still be done, such as Freddie Krueger, some interpretations of various Batman villains, and, rather subtly, Hannibal Lector. The last one isn’t overtly bombastic, he’s not singing big musical numbers about his evil plans or cracking overt jokes every two seconds (though he comes close with his cannibilism puns in the NBC series), but he does have a wry and dry sense of humor, he’s very witty and cultured, and he’s very intelligent. He’s not funny per se, but it can be really interesting to watch him outwit others and pick them apart. While I’ve mostly focused on humor for what makes a baddy fun to watch because that’s the case with Jack Horner, it’s not the ONLY thing that can make them engaging either. Bringing up my point about “unsympathetic characters can have sympathetic backstories” from earlier too, Hannibal does have a tragic tale behind him, but it’s also undeniable he very much enjoys doing what he does for its own sake. Whether he’s truly unsympathetic or absolutely the reverse is probably more down to opinion, unlike Jack and the others, but personally for me he’s in the “just loves being a horrible person” category, and he’s still very interesting both despite and because of that! Some people will tell you that pure evil characters are automatically boring. I don’t think so. I just think most writers don’t put the effort into making them interesting and engaging to watch. And there are MANY ways to do that!

[pop-punklouis]

Please let's talk about how smart louis is! It honestly amazes me just how intelligent he is and how people have always scraped that to the side because he's always been labeled the "goofball" and the "immature one"

i don’t have time to really dive into it but! here’s some of my running thoughts:

Louis is such a smart person and businessman. he is incredibly intelligent, and he knows the industry better than anyone because of the grueling fight he’s been entangled in for years with it. and he always sees the bigger picture. i fully trust that he has a plan that he’s been moving towards step by step for years, and with this tour possibly (hopefully) being his last obligation to sony, we’ll see so much unfold with BMG and his independent status going into LT2. he has the stamina and presence to go completely independent and negotiate deals with major labels and corporations without being chained under the umbrella of them. and i’m incredibly excited to see him thrive independently and for this all to occur in real time. like previously mentioned, the way he has built his brand and career over the years makes me certain that he’s going to have such longevity and such an impact in the industry. his staying power and steady climb on top of his immense relatability and personability with fans is vital to his dynamic as an artist. not to mention, the decision made with his first record to not veer too incredibly far from the sound fans were accustomed to (while also being able to blend his musical influences into that sound) so he could seamlessly transition to his sophomore record and to the sound that i, ultimately, believe he wants and will have on LT2 was so, so smart. also, the way he wants to create his own management company where he is the CEO and is very hands-on with the artists— knowing exactly how to genuinely guide them, let them express themselves, be who they are, and trusting their talent beyond everything else. and the free music festival he put on independently??? all the decisions he makes are elaborately planned, and when they finally come to fruition within the fandom it always makes so much sense that’s why i’m such a firm believer in trusting louis and trusting how he navigates his career the best he can because no one knows him and his goals and his career better than himself.

also x2! his acute awareness of everyone and everything around him, knowing how to channel into his environment and adapt to be what is needed in certain circumstances is brilliant. he can tap into people’s emotions and instantly know how to calm them. plus he knows sign language. is incredibly conscious of class and gatekeeping. well-versed in many different topics. has carefully curated a whole lyric video that touched on different parts of his identity and social politics. has the most writing credits in one direction. reads psychology books for fun. nonchalantly just brings out nikola tesla’s key to the universe???

yeah, louis IS a goofball and can clown around, making people laugh and being a completely menace but that part of him can also coexist with louis being insightful, resourceful, clever, hard-working, genuine, big-hearted, and really fucking intelligent. and no one can ever take that away from him.

[thefatiguedfatale]

*kicks door down*

HI! MAY I REQUEST GN READER GOING BEETLE HUNTING WITH LUFFY? THANK U!!! ALSO UR AN AMAZING WRITER DONT DOUBT YOURSELF!!! UR TALENTED AND ARE A VALUABLE PART OF THE OP COMMUNITY 🧡✨🌈🤩🍃🌟

*politely walks out and slowly closes door*

My love, my joy, my beginning and end, my everything, thank you for the kind words. And thank you for being so patient with me, this is very much long overdue. I hope you like it! <3

Beetle Hunting With Luffy

Luffy x GN!Reader

Fluff

Word Count: 0.5k

Warnings: Mentions of bugs 

Both you and Luffy learned about each other’s affinity for bugs and insects fairly early on in your journey together while wandering the mysterious lands of Skypiea. 

As both of you walked through the deep forest. You happily chatted away about some of the bugs and insects you saw that crossed your path.  At some point into your hunt, Luffy picked up a new bug, shoving it in your face excitedly waiting for you to dole out all the facts you knew about each of them. 

You had goten especially excited when he shoved a multicolored shelled beetle into your face. 

“They're my favorite!” you had exclaimed to him and the both of you went off searching for more.  You were having so much fun, you both had forgotten that you were very lost.

That day was the ignition of your ‘obligatory’ beetle hunts with Luffy.

You and Luffy, regardless of how dangerous the island was, would go on them the moment your ship had stopped on a new island. 

As long as it had plants and some sort of animal life, your plans were a-go. 

With his arm extended around your waist, the both of you would leap off the deck of the Sunny and run off immediately to explore the island. 

It was a guarantee that at some point the both of you would separate, veering off in your own direction. Either to cover more ground, or getting distracted by something interesting enough to forget to tell the other person that you were leaving their side.

You never worried about it though. And neither did he. You knew that you would always be safe with him around. 

‘Luffy I found one!’ you called out deep in the forest brush and there he was, right back by your side as if he had never left already crouching down next to you. 

You held the creature gently enough in between your fingertips as Luffy oohed and ahhed at the different colors and attributes it had that he had never seen before. With a smile on your face and eyes full of adornment for the small creature,  you began to chat away about the new facts you had learned about it in one of Robin’s books.

Though Luffy was not prone to paying attention to large amounts of information at once, he couldn't stop himself from grinning every time he heard you speak.

He always loved hearing the passion in your voice when you talked about something you cared about, regardless of what the topic was. It was fun to hear. It reminded him of his younger years with his older brothers deep within the trees and bushes of the forest that surrounded Dadan’s home.

“Let's keep going!” He yelled and grabbed your hand as he pulled you up. You barely had time to put the beetle back down as you ran off hand in hand further into the island, a fun adventure awaiting you.

[blazehedgehog]

Do you enjoy spriting for fun, I mean, for stuff you don't really want to use in fangames or only necessary stuff?

I occasionally dabble if the mood strikes. Once upon a time I was part of a daily sprite challenge thread on a forum somewhere (NeoGAF?), where you'd be given a theme for the day and have to produce something before the deadline.

In fact, yes, here are all the sprites I did for that, which are all literally prefixed with "neogaf_[object].png". These had to have been more than ten years ago. File creation date says 2012, but I don't know if I trust that. It was a very long time ago, though.

In that similar spirit, I follow the Pixel Daily account on Twitter and intend on joining in some day but as of yet have not.

I forget why, but I assembled this image collage of a lot of "recent" pixel art I've done over the last ten years:

Some of those are for games, some of those are for videos, but some of them are just for fun. Like that Sonic on the right there was just for fun, inspired by the work of Paul Veer.

That lobster sprite up top was also just a moment of inspiration, because I saw Tom Payne's Sonic 2 concept art versus his attempts at translating that concept art for Sonic 2, and I felt sorry for the little guy. There was no intent on making that for an actual game, I just wanted to do it.

I also put these together just because I felt like it when I watched Turning Red last year. Thought the second one could be used for a discord emote or something.

Similarly, about a month ago, somebody I know was looking for sprites of new Genesis-Sonic-styled animal buddies to pop out of badniks, so I ended up putting this guy together on a whim:

Nobody asked me to, I just did it because I wanted to. I may do one or two more. I may not.

But really, I do this kind of stuff for fun about as often as I do hand-drawn art for fun. Part of the reason I started putting art (and in particular pixel art) in my videos was to force myself to use my artistic talents for something.

Drawing was something I did because it was right on that edge before everybody had a computer two feet away from them at all times. Now I am creatively fulfilled by a lot of different things and I only really do art when I force myself to do it.

There are other reasons for that, too, like how I started to feel frustrated by the fact my art wasn't in a place where I truly felt happy about it anymore, but that's a topic for a different post, maybe.

[crescentsteel]

Just Friends - Part 10

plot: fubu set up with Kuroo, model fem reader genre: fluff, smut, slow burn, angst  word count:  7k

A/N [More at the end]: 

I reviewed and edited Chapters 1 and 2 a bit because I kinda cringed at the errors and my writing was wonky (more than it already is now). No plot changes don't worry.

Thank you for all those who read this, especially to those who took their time to comment and feedback. It meant the world to me who stayed up later than usual and poured my heart out on this.

Part 9 || Epilogue || m.list

You instantly snapped your head up with expanded eyes. Despite the sternness his voice contained, you saw the delicate swirl of complex  emotions in his eyes, one that you haven’t seen him display before. You saw how the contrast of heartache and relief graced his features. 

“I love you, y.n.”

The quietness gave way for you to hear every single word he said. It was gently uttered, but firm on what it meant. 

It was almost magical, if not for the perplexity which came with that statement that enshrouded everything else.

As if the universe agreed with you, another set of lights landed on both of you, popping the enchanted bubble you two were in.

“Let’s go. We need to talk” He moved his hand from your waist to the back of your shoulder and guided you to his car. Still unable to regain your calm from what just happened, you absent-mindedly followed him and went inside the passenger’s seat.

“My place or yours?”

His question made you buck yourself up to the present again. It was the question that started your indecent affairs with Kuroo, and now he’s using it to settle what branched from said affairs.

“Did you really just ask me that?” You were unable to refrain yourself from retorting.

“What?” He asked back even though his eyes had a tender playfulness to them. He clearly knew what you meant but wanted you to elaborate for his entertainment.

You just rolled your eyes and ignored it. “Yours.” You weren’t playing his game. You just rather resolve the issue at hand somewhere not in your place. The last time’s conflict left you feeling vacant when he walked out the door and you stayed there with gloom lingering on every space of your place. You couldn’t do anything because it was your home. You just let it evaporate on its own.

In case things go South like they always do, you wouldn’t want to worsen the state of your already sullied abode. 

So you let him start the vehicle and drive off.

“I really thought you were gone again,” he broke the fragile silence.

“What do you mean?”

“I went to your place and they told me you left. I assumed you flew somewhere insanely far away for the second time.” All the involute sentiments he was carrying a while ago dissipated. He’s back to his laid-back self.

“Why would you think that?”

He sneered as his eyes flashed with bitterness even as he stared at the road. “Cause that’s what you do, kitten. You run away when things get too inconvenient for you.”

What could you say to that? 

Nothing. He was absolutely right. 

You tried to prove to yourself that you weren’t a spoiled rich brat by working your butt off, but it was never too difficult for you. You worked hard, but everything went smoothly like how you wanted them to. 

But with Kuroo, everything was in shambles. And in every chance you had to make things right with him, you chicken out. You blamed external factors such as timing not being right or other people were in the way. But you always had your chance. You just despised the fact that you had to cross certain barriers to move forward with your relationship with him. You wanted things easy. 

Before you left, you really believed that you wanted to confess to him just to get some clarity on your relationship. So why did you stop talking to him at all? If that was your only goal, you could’ve talked to him the morning after. But you didn’t. Because you didn’t like the pain of facing him again when he was messing around with women other than you. So instead of facing it head on, you ran away. 

It was the same when you confessed dead drunk and forgot the next morning. You were scared that he didn’t feel the same way, so you took the safe way out. 

And when it was becoming too much again, you were tempted to do the same exact thing you did ago: remove all the complications in your life by getting away from the source of it - Kuroo. 

With your mind flooded with realizations, you didn’t notice that you arrived at his place already. 

At least that was what you thought because he stopped the engine, but the neighborhood wasn’t familiar to you.

“Where are we?” you asked. 

“My place. Duh.” He answered before getting out. It was sarcastic, but it cheered you up. He was back to how he used to treat you before the drunken fiasco. It was just three weeks but it felt like you haven’t heard his taunts far longer than that. That’s how much you missed him.

You followed him and stepped out of his car as well. He must’ve moved out just recently, probably when you weren’t talking much, or else you would’ve known. 

“Glad to know you moved out of that dump.” Even with the current situation, you couldn’t just stay quiet when your mind instinctively thought of something to get back to his snarky remark. 

“Dump, huh?” He was looking at a certain building that you surmised was where his new apartment was. He scoffed before looking at you.

“Wonder why you agreed to let me fuck you in that dump though.” His grin spread wide enough that his teeth showed, clearly pleased with how he handled your usual battle of sarcasm.

You veered from his playful gaze and pursed your lips from the lack of a good response to bring down that haughty smile of his.

You regret ragging him on. You should’ve just stayed quiet. 

“Can we go inside now? It’s cold” You changed the topic being the loser that you were. 

“Come on then.” His satisfied smirk was still on his face knowing that he won that quick exchange. He waited for you to go to his side, then started walking towards the building.  

When you came back to the country, you thought it was odd that still stayed in his previous place. You were positive that he could afford to get a nicer one. Now it made sense. He was saving up for this. 

While heading to his unit, you could tell from the interior and the exterior of the building that the price of the place was above average. 

Inside the elevator, there was only you and him. He was about to press his floor number, but his hand stopped mid air before putting it down again.

“Wanna guess what floor I’m in?”

“And if I get it wrong?” He didn’t have to say it out loud for you to know where he was going with it. It was one of your gambling games. 

“You owe me nothing but the truth tonight.” Your bets were fun and the stakes were always petty but the weight of his stare let you know that the intent behind it was nothing compared to your previous wagers. 

He would demand nothing else but the truth from you when you two start to talk about the issue at hand. 

You found it strange. Of course, you would be honest. That’s the point of the conversation you’d be having when you reach his unit. 

But since he was acting like candor was of great worth to get from you, you’d ask for something of similar value. 

“If I get it right, I’m getting your Nekoma jersey. The one with No.1 on it.”

He was obviously taken aback from what you asked for. “Why that?”

“Why not?” You immediately asked back. 

He looked at the numbers on the side of the elevators while he scratched the roof of his teeth with tongue. 

“I changed my mind. I want all of them.”

“Huh?!”

“The odds aren’t right. There are 40 floors and the chance of getting it right is only 1/40. If you’d think about it, I’m even being generous.”

He clicked his tongue, acknowledging that your point was valid. “Deal.”

You instantly responded without even thinking twice, “22.”

You wished you could’ve captured his reaction. 

“You were already eyeing 22, dumbass. Your hand literally stopped in front of that number.” You shook your head as you snickered from that tiny victory, letting it take some of your tension away. “Say goodbye to your jerseys tonight,” you added. 

He usually won’t make such a mistake during your gambles. And because he did, you worked out that he must be distressed too. 

“Fuck.” He cursed then pressed the button you just said.

“Ugh fine, you can keep one.” You felt bad cause you even though the probability of you winning was low, the stakes for you were basically a given. 

The way on his unit was spent arguing on why the deal should be void because it wasn’t really a gamble since you already knew the answer. 

On his doorstep, you both hastenly arrived at a compromise of getting only his captain’s jersey, knowing that the inescapable confrontation is about to take place.

When he opened the door, it was nicer than you expected. It was modern looking with its minimalist interior and gray, black, and white tones. Your place was bigger but this looked more spacious because there weren’t unnecessary furnitures. 

The click of the door brought you back to why you were here. All the monkeying around a while ago was just a prelude to this and any impact it had on you was diminishing by the second. Things were about to get serious. You could feel anxiety crawling back to your skin. 

You didn’t wait for his hospitality and sat yourself on the couch. 

He immediately went after and sat beside you. 

You shook your head. “No.”

“What?” A frown creasing his forehead from the ‘no’ that came out of nowhere. 

“Don’t sit near me. It makes me uncomfortable.” It might have been rude, but you just had to say it. You want your mind working functionally so you can’t have him anywhere near your personal space. 

Instead of getting offended, he eyed you with consideration before standing up. He got a chair from his dining area and sat a good few steps away from you. He crossed his legs and arms. 

“So?” He proceeded, imploring you to be the first one to open the conversation that was suspended by the vehicle earlier. 

“What do you mean ‘so’?” You laughed sourly. “You’re the one supposed to explain things. Do you expect me to just accept what you said a while ago?”

He threw you a questioning look. “Is it really that hard to believe?” “You avoided me for weeks. When I tried to make up with you, you brushed me off cause you were seeing someone else. So my apologies for being so skeptical,” your last sentence full of uninhibited scorn.

“Who said I was seeing her? She’s just a volleyball player I’m working with.” If this was a normal conversation, he’d definitely have some snide comments to go along with it. But he didn’t swerve to his usual smugness. He remained pensive.

You couldn’t think of a decent reply except for an timid “Oh” that came from your mouth. You’re reassured that it wasn’t like that, but it was overpowered by the shame brought by your incorrect assumption.  

He didn’t wait for you to recover as he asked right away, “Why did you ignore me after that?” 

But despite the embarrassment, your brain was still running its engine properly. So you skillfully evade his query. “You still haven’t told me why you avoided me prior to that.”

He puffed a heavy breath. “I didn’t know how to get back to that friendship bullshit that you wanted so bad.” He uncrossed his legs and slouched with his elbows on his thighs. “Now answer my question,” he commanded.

“Well.. I didn’t want to intervene with whatever or whoever it is you’re busy with,” you said a bit too quickly without explaining further. “My turn again,” you continued on/

“No. I addressed two things from you so it’s still my turn,” he firmly asserted.

You were about to retaliate but he beat you to it with his own question. “How many times have I made you cry?”

It was an abrupt one that wasn’t in line with the previous questions that preceded it. You flinched from how it hit that certain memory you thought you moved on from.

“Never. What gave you that idea?” You denied as fast as you could. He didn’t have to know that insignificant detail. ‘It doesn’t  matter’ you told yourself even though you knew it was your pride that wouldn’t let you answer truthfully.

You’re glad to have won the bet earlier. Even though you thought you were going to be completely honest, there were just some details that need not be known.

Heated stares replaced words as both of you waited until the other withdrew. He was glaring at you, looking for an ounce of deceit. Too bad for him though because you have no intentions of folding. 

You arose the winner when he’s the first to concede as he straightened his posture from slouching. He leaned back on the backrest of his chair and sighed exasperatedly. 

“Man, I’d like to complain, but I guess your tenacity is one of the reasons why I fell for you.”

You were doing so well but with what he just said, your heart is back to the mess it was when he pulled you to him and said he loves you for the first time.

“Cat got your tongue, kitten?” His smug grin back to its former glory, making you even more flustered than you already were.

“How can you say things like that so indifferently?” You voiced out, irritated at how he’s so relaxed while youre all wound up.

“Look. I’ve been keeping my mouth shut ever since you came back. Now that it’s out in the open, I’ll say it as much as I want to.”

Did you hear him correctly? He said ‘since you came back.’ When exactly did he start having feelings for you? 

“What do-”

“Hold it right there. You don’t get to ask anything yet since your last answer was a lie.”

You groaned. He shouldn’t be allowed to call you tenacious when he’s even worse than you are when he wants to be. “It is not. So let’s move on,” you tried to proceed but he cut you off right away.

“Kenma told me.”

Your solid defiance rapidly chipped from your secret being found out by the person you wanted to hide it from. You could only guess that Kenma told him just now. That’s why he was on a rampant chase to find you. 

The earlier gamble made sense now. He anticipated your refusal to admit what happened back then, back before you left. So he wanted to ensure that you would be forthright about it. 

Even after losing the bet, his goal was still secured for he had Kenma’s story as proof.

You tried to feel any hostility towards Kenma but you didn’t have it in your heart to do so. You trusted Kenma. He must have had a good reason for telling Kuroo now when he’d kept it well for more than a year.

“Fine,” you said under your breath. 

“Too many that I didn’t bother counting.”

Guilt darkened the diffidence on his face. He must not have expected that you would be the type to cry over a guy, especially him who started his relationship with you only as a bed warmer.  

But you went on with your previous question since that’s what was pervading in your mind. “When did you realize?” You were really curious since when the feeling has been mutual between the two of you. 

“Realize what?”

“That you l-,” you hesitated, reluctant to fully spat out the phrase completely even though he already said it first hand. Looking back, you don't know how you convinced yourself to admit your feelings to him when you’re stuttering from a trifling thing such as this. 

“That I love you?”

You staved off away from his perfervid stare, not able to handle it as you replied a brash “Yeah” to maintain your tough façade.

“At the very same night you were supposed to confess.”

You harshly returned your gaze to him. “Was that a joke?” You chuckled wryly. “In case you forgot, I was there.” 

You were grateful to Kenma being there at that moment, but it’s different when it’s finally Kuroo you’re confronting. You could feel all the unaddressed bitterness you buried deep inside take over you.

“I was hoping to get an honest conversation. Instead, I arrived at the godforsaken bar,” you continued with a forced smile, “and stood watch as you made that first move to kiss her, how you pulled her close like ….  like you couldn’t get enough.” The particular scene tore you back then and it does just the same now. Before you knew it, warm liquid pooled in the corner of your eyes without any warning. 

You turned your head sideway and let your hair cover your face. 

You didn’t want him to see how your lips quivered as you fend off a whimper that was already at the back of your tongue

You sealed shut any feelings you had for that certain chapter of your relationship with Kuroo. So you couldn’t understand the surge of sullenness that flowed through you. It must be from how paradoxical his narrative seemed. 

How could he claim to love you when he enjoyed the sultry company of another?

If Kuroo would think of two words to describe your personality, it would be determined and composed, to the point that you can seem cold and apathetic at times. You were the kind of person who didn’t give two shits to anything you found unnecessary or irrelevant. 

Since he met you, you constantly had your guard up as if people will find something awful if they get a tiny peek of what you really are. He couldn’t do something about that. He didn’t have any right to. You two were only fucking around. He later figured out that you didn’t want people to know who you really were - an heiress and a successful model. 

That’s why you traded carefully around people. 

But when you came back and asked only for friendship, you still had your fences up like you were hiding something. He thought maybe because you’ve had them up for so long that you didn’t know how to turn it off, even for him whom you considered a friend. 

So to see you struggling to keep your walls up that were slowly crumbling, he realized why you have a soft spot for Kenma. He’s already seen what you tried so hard to protect.

Disobeying your earlier instruction to not sit beside you, he stood up from the chair and moved to your side. 

When you saw him do so, you didn’t say anything. You only raised your hand to nimbly wipe your tears that were already falling. He grabbed your hand you were using and held it still on your lap. He replaced it with his own, drying your tears with his fingers. 

It was the least he could do with being the cause of it, and he was glad you let him even though you still kept your eyes away from him.

He trailed his fingers down your jaw and slightly lifted your face so he could look at you. What he saw was unrefined vulnerability, and even then, you wore it beautifully. 

He finally understood. That wall you built when you met again was exclusively for him. You guarded your heart from him. You created the friends only set up so you wouldn’t get hurt again.

It made him feel like shit. You really did love him back then, enough to cause you this pain.

“I’m sorry. I was half-assed about it at the time. Nothing more happened with me and whoever that girl was. I just,” he trailed off knowing that the next thing he’s going to say is gonna sound stupid. “used her to see if what I felt for you was real.”

You raised your gaze to him with eyes wide with disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“I know it’s idiotic, okay?” His voice took a slightly defensive tone as you were about to judge his line of thinking back then. “But we were only fuck buddies. I didn’t want to start a relationship with you then realize that I was just confusing the comfort of your company with something as serious as love.”

He stroked your knuckles after he explained.

“I really am sorry, y/n. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that.” His words dripping with remorse from every single tear that you shed for him without him knowing. 

“Why tell me only now? It’s been months since I came back.”

“You were insanely driven on being friends only. I didn’t think you feel the same way.”

No one said anything after. He couldn’t tell if you’re aware of it too, but he could feel tension in his every vein as his next question dangled on the tip of his tongue. 

“Do you?”

You bit your lip as you averted your eyes downwards again. 

“You know the answer to that already.”

Indeed he does. You wouldn’t be this affected if you didn’t. But he has to hear it directly from you. He has to hear you say you love him for real this time. 

“I need it to come from you.” He gently held your cheek to guide you back to his gaze. He needs to see the entirety of your face, especially your eyes, when you finally tell him how you truly feel about him. 

“I… I-” He could see your strenuous struggle to get the phrase out. You eminently tried as you kept uttering the first syllable but nothing after that. “I can’t say it,” you said defeatedly. 

He should be frustrated. He laid out all his cards open for you to see, but you refused to do the same when you had one last face down card that would declare the game over where you both win. 

But he held nothing but patience. He could wait for the phrase he’d been longing for as long as he made sure of something.

“You don’t have to if you can’t say it. But I’ll be honest. I,” he let out a deep breath before continuing, “I can’t stand us being friends only anymore.”

He removed his light grasp on your face as his hand travelled to the one that he hasn’t been holding. He lightly squeezed your fingers to get you to heed the attention he needed from you. 

“Be my girlfriend, y/n. Be mine.”

If you say no at this point, he’d lose his mind.

With his focus solely on you as he waited for an answer, he saw a subtle nod from you.

“Okay.”

It might seem too simple and bland of an answer. But you two had been going on through ragged stops for a year that he couldn’t care about trivial crap like that. 

It wasn’t sweet and he found that perfectly okay. Because it was you. He just needed you to finally let him be more than just fuck buddy, more than a friend.

And when your lips tugged on both corners to form a smile that was directed at him, especially for him, it made his heart soar.

“Is this really happening?”

You had the gall to be skeptical when his actions never hid his affection for you. He just didn’t say it out loud.

“You bet your ass it is.” Instead of his usual shit-eating smile that would’ve accompanied his response, his smile mirrored yours.

You were both happy.

Unable to contain himself, he acted on what always wanted.to without anything holding him back. 

He kissed you. 

No alcohol and no bullshit involved, just taking in that first touch of your lips as officially your lover.

His hands travel up to your shoulders as he scoots over to have you closer. You taste and feel ethereal. It was unlike any kiss you’ve shared in the past. The ache he had for you this whole time was being lulled by how your soft lips cascaded on his. 

His one hand goes up to the base of your neck while he parts your lips so he can have better access on the wonders of your mouth. 

You sighed helplessly to the kiss before withdrawing just a bit, your warm breaths still mingling with one another. 

“Wait,” you gasped inches away from his lips before burrowing your face on the crook of his neck. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked worriedly, stroking your neck and shoulder to soothe whatever it is that’s bothering you.. 

“It feels weird.”

“Weird how?”

You lifted your head and looked at him with the most insane blush he’s seen from you. Your cheeks were a rosy fury that highlighted a foreign countenance in your face. Your orbs were glossy and sparkling with a tiny hint of naivety that he’s never seen from you. Your mouth was compressed in a thin line that he could tell was done to prevent the trembling of your lips that was still slightly evident.

He managed to get another unknown aspect of you to surface, and goddamn what a pleasant surprise it was. 

He loves your confidence. It was sexy. But bashfulness was an exceptional look on you too. It provided depth to your character which was already fascinating to him to begin with. 

He couldn’t wait until he could fully discover everything about you, even the one you still weren’t aware of. 

“It’s like I’m overwhelmed by something until I can’t breathe. But I… I like it?” You glowered right after describing it, probably thinking that it sounded asinine. 

He was amused and charmed at the same time from how you tried to put into words how he was making you feel. 

“You do realize we’ve fucked countless times already.” He couldn’t resist goading further even when he knew exactly what you were talking about. 

“You don’t say,” you riposted, gaining your smart-assery back to which he laughs at. 

“God, I really love you.”

He lunges to claim your lips once more, his need to have more of you back with heightened intensity.

You were getting dizzy from how he was kissing you. It was much more needy than the previous one. You still haven’t fully grasped what just happened and yet he’s already filling your senses, making you forget the tiny insignificant details and retaining only one fact that mattered. 

You and him. 

His hand on your shoulder wanders down to your waist while you grasp his biceps for support as he pulls you even closer until you were straddling him. 

His mouth did not linger too long on yours as it impatiently trailed down your neck, interchanging loving kisses with hungry sucks that stirred your thirst for him.

You remembered some parts of the drunken sex you had, but they were just flashes and blurred images. The sensation from the experience wasn’t retained. 

It seemed like a far away memory compared to how he was making you feel at the present moment.

You suddenly feel him slip his hand underneath your shirt, palming your bare skin upwards until it reaches one soft mound which he doesn't hesitate to squeeze.

“Haaaa. Kurooo, wait,” you plead breathlessly. You were getting overwhelmed by how he swiftly fanned the flames of desire that was spreading throughout your body.

His lips left the sensitive skin of your collar and met your gaze with restrained hunger.

“What is it?” 

You didn’t know what to say. Did you want him to slow down or just have his way with you already?

He must have noticed your conflict so he decided for you. 

He chose the latter.

Both his hands scurried to your hips, guiding you to raise them slightly while his lips find their way to yours again. Not bothering to remove or even tug down your leggings, he slid one hand inside which was welcomed by your slick arousal. 

“Why’d you stop me when you’re already this wet?” He asked with pride flickering in his eyes knowing that it was him who caused it. 

But he did not let you answer as he shoved one finger in your core.

“Aahh,” your eyes closed shut and your thighs tremble from the sudden pleasure as your hands move to clutch his shoulders to anchor yourself. You rest your forehead on his while puffing heavily. 

“Kuroo...” you whimpered.

He steadies you with one hand, but does not relent as he inserts one more digit.

“Hmmm?” You could tell that he was enjoying your wanton surrender just from the way he sounded. 

“It feels too much,” you admitted. 

“Too much? Oh kitten, we’ve barely even started.”

He took the hem of your shirt and lifted it up. “Bite it,” he commanded and you complied obediently. 

He hoists your bra down your chest, exposing your unclad breasts to him. He eagerly takes one perk nipple in his mouth while his one hand goes around your waist. He retacts his fingers inside and rubs the bundle of nerves above your slit in hurried circles that were driving you to the brink of madness. 

He was right. This was still foreplay, but you were already so feverish. 

Your moans were muffled by how hard you were biting the cotton fabric of your shirt. 

“Take your shirt off. I want to hear you,” his voice raspy as he stopped everything he was doing that was making you feel good. You quickly yanked your shirt off so he could go back to doing them right away.

 As soon as your top was thrown away, he inserted the same fingers back again and started pumping in and out aggressively. 

With his request and the absence of your shirt, nothing was repressing the salacious sounds that were coming out of your mouth

The heat in the pit of your groin was building up too fast. It was a very steep peak that he was rapidly coercing you to reach. 

“Feels-ahh-so good.”

He groaned in response. He took out his digits and loosened his hold of you which made you flutter your eyes open. 

“Let’s take this to my bed,” he said ruggedly as he was about to get up. 

You firmly grasp his shoulders to stop him. “Wait.”

A dash of timidness came over you again which you couldn’t understand. Just like he said earlier, you’ve had a lot of sex. You did things more scandalous than what you had in mind, but you feel flustered just thinking about saying it out loud. 

“What is it?”

“Uhh,” you swallowed your nerves. “Do you mind getting your couch dirty?” 

He raised an eyebrow from your question, but was immediately followed by a riveting smile upon realizing what you meant. 

“Not all,” he took off his shirt then proceeded to unclasp your bra that was still lugged your breasts. 

“We can get it dirty as much as we want,” he whispered right in your ear. 

--

Sex with Kuroo before usually ended with both of you scramming to get water or go to the bathroom to clean up. Then when you went back to his bed, both of you just settled down in  whatever position you were comfortable in. 

Holding each other after sex just was never on the table. No one talked about it and no one initiated so you figured both of you weren’t into it. You weren’t sure about him but you found the act too intimate to do between casual sexmates.

You had no idea it felt this good to be cradled by him.

Your head was nested on his arm that he extended for you. His other one was enveloped around your waist and your face and hands were burrowed on his chest. 

“This is nice,” was an understatement that you breathed on his skin.

“Mmhmm. More especially since you’re awake and sober,” he hummed on your hair.

“Hmm?”

He chuckles lightly as he caresses your hair delicately, his fingers sometimes grazing your nape. 

“Yeah, I held you like this the night of my birthday instead of going back.”

You definitely had no memories of that. You knew he took care of you, but you didn’t think he got cozy in bed afterwards. 

“I thought awww poor you. You seemed like you could use a cuddle. You did beg me to fuck you after all.”

Typical of him, he had to be an ass and ruin the moment. 

But you didn’t believe him. You knew that’s not what happened. You did kiss him first and asked him to stay, but you did not beg. Even if you did forget everything, you still wouldn’t believe him. You’re not the type of person to beg.

“Don’t invent stories just because you wanted to feel me up after sex.” 

His chest rumbles within your touch as he worked up a laugh from your snappy comeback. “You’re really something, kitten.”

“You’re gonna keep calling me that, huh?”

He cranes his head back a bit, creating some space between you. You could tell he was peering at you.

“Don’t like it?”

You smile at his question. You found the nickname tacky at first, but it kind of got stuck with you. He’s never called you any other pet names other than that and it made you feel like it was solely for you.

“No, I love it.”

You tilt your head up a bit to look at him.

“I love you.”

You were so apprehensive earlier because of the torment that still lingered from the many failed attempts to tell him so. 

You thought you would need more time, but that doesn’t seem to be the case as he easily whisked your worries away just by being with him like this. 

You were finally able to tell him sincerely in your own accord. You didn’t realize keeping these feelings all to yourself was so heavy that letting it out was such a liberating experience.

As you free your chest with the restless burden of secretly loving him, you don’t feel empty because your heart was filled with content from knowing that he loves you just the same.

It reflects on his face, more so now that his smile is growing broader by the second which was accompanied by a noticeable flush on his cheeks that was illuminated by the dim light of his night lamp.”

“I love you too, y/n.” His eyes exuding profound adoration for you.

“I had my chance to tell you the morning after I got wasted. I just-”

“Hey,” he cut you off then removed his hand on your waist to cup your neck, his thumb brushing gently the curve of your jaw. 

“I have you now. That’s all I care about,” the elated smile still not leaving his face. 

“I can see that. You look too freaking happy,” you said as revenge for how he ruined your moment just a while ago. 

“Well, sorry I’m not emotionally constipated like you,” he quickly outwitted your attempt to mock him. 

“You scumbag,” you hissed despite his blissful smile infecting you. 

He pulls you again closer to him until your bodies stripped off of any clothing are perfectly molded against each other. 

“Yea yea, say whatever you want but I’m the scumbag you love.” Even when you couldn’t see his face anymore, you could still hear how enraptured he was. 

And so were you as you snuggled with him until you fell asleep. 

--

“Sorry, I’ll be a little late, kitten. I need to be here for a while even though the game ended already.”

You could hear him scuffling around with the dwindling sound of excitement in the background. 

You’re already late from your planned time, but he was running even later. Not that you were upset. You didn’t have major plans or anything. You just agreed to go to his place together since you’re spending the night there. 

“You have my keys, right? You can go ahead.”

“I can go there and wait for you,” you suggested since you still have some energy left from the orderly photoshoot you had this late afternoon. Also, you’d just be restless waiting for him at his apartment. 

“You sure?” He asked even though you were sure he’s smiling judging from the way he sounded. 

“Yup.”

“Okay then! Have to hang up now though. Love you, kitten,” then he ended the call. 

It’s been almost a month now since you two were officially together but he sometimes still catches you off guard with how he expresses his love for you without reservations. But you have no complaints. 

Upon arriving in Tokyo Stadium, there were only a few people inside, and some of those few are heading out. 

Thank goodness for that. Even if you weren’t feeling tired, you didn’t wanna get squashed by Volleyball enthusiasts. It would also make your bed-headed boyfriend much easier to find. 

You don’t want to call him just yet. He’s probably still occupied so you’ll just look for him. 

As you paced the area unsurely, you were starting to doubt your decision to look for him on your own. You had no idea stadiums had this kind of structure on the inside since you’ve never gone in one. You thought it was just one big open area with elevated benches.

Instead of going inside the actual playing arena, you went to the narrow halls that branched to the sides of the building.

Just before passing a certain corner, someone emerged from a room that you weren’t aware was actually there.

“Oy Hinata, I’m going ahead if you keep being a slowtard,” a tall, dark-haired man aggressively stated before walking towards your direction.

“Kageyama, you impatient turd!” A bright orange-haired guy, who’s probably called Hinata, came out right after, hurrying to go after the dark haired one who’s most likely Kageyama.

Before he could even pass you by, you lock eyes with Hinata.

A snap of familiarity hits you both.

“Waah. Ms. Pretty!” He said in English, completely and overwhelmingly affable that it was almost adorable.

Oh right, you spoke in English the first time you met.

“Hello.” You smiled politely, still holding up your non-Japanese speaking facade.

Kageyama stopped walking and turned his attention to you. He bowed then looked at Hinata. “You know her?” He asked in Nihongo.

“Not really. But it was kinda funny, Kuroo-san called her ‘kitten’ but she didn’t really know him,” Hinata grinned from amusement only but Kageyama didn’t respond.

Hinata frowned and took a semi defensive stance. “You better not tell Kuroo-san I said that.”

You just alternate your gaze between the two men, deciding whether you should admit that you could actually speak Nihongo and that you’re looking for Kuroo or just let things play out as is. 

“What’s the noise all about?” 

Another set of recognizable faces turned up - fake blondie, curly, and black and white.

It wasn’t hard to guess why they were there. They were athletes. They weren’t just guests in the event. They were most likely brand ambassadors too, except for Kageyama. It’s the first time you saw the man. 

They must be part of the national team. Kuroo did say it was an international match today.

Fake blondie’s face lit up as soon as his eyes landed on your face. He quickly made his way to approach you, passing by Hinata when he did.

“You lost, pretty girl?” It contained everything Hinata’s previous compliment lacked, pure flirtatiousness together with a come-hither smile. 

So the Volleyball national team can somehow speak English. Although, they still retained their heavy accents.  

You studied fake blondie in front of you and quickly decided that you wouldn’t date him even if you haven’t met Kuroo. The guy’s hot, but he seems like an idiot.

“Y/n?”

Someone who you didn’t have to identify by his hair entered the scene, Yaku. 

You wave reservedly at him for you still haven’t forgotten how you acted around him the first you met.

“What’re you doing here?” He, then, turned to fake blondie. “Cut it out, Miya-san. I’m certain she’s not interested.”

“She can’t understand Nihongo, Yaku-san.” Black and white appeared to be whispering but his voice was loud enough for everyone to hear.. 

Yaku threw him a confused look. “What? I met her around two months ago. She’s a local, Bokuto.”

The Miya person scowled, “Geez. Could’ve saved me the trouble.”

You just ignored him and shifted your attention to Yaku. 

“I’m looking for Tet-” you cleared your throat. He’s been pestering you to call him ‘Tetsu’ every single day until you just succumbed to it and it became normal to you. You almost addressed him as such to these people who you presume he’s working with. 

“I’m looking for Kuroo.”

Yaku raised an eyebrow with intrigue twinkling on his whole face. “Oh?” 

“Mmmhmm,” you answered obscurely. 

“You friends or somethin?” Miya asked with an ounce of wariness, changing your initial thought of him being an idiot.

Yaku grinned. “They’re just friends,” he answered for you, obviously anticipating whether you’d agree or not. 

You weren’t ashamed of dating Kuroo, but you’ve had some kind of weird interaction with these people that involved Kuroo, save for Kageyama obviously. Poor guy must be confused at the novelty of what’s happening.

From behind Bokuto and the curly haired guy whose name you still have no idea what, the man you were looking for presented himself and walked towards you. 

Those he passed by had their eyes lingering on his back with Miya being the last person to notice him since Miya is the closest to you. 

“Not that it’s any of your business,” he puts a possessive arm around you, “ but this lost lady here is my girlfriend.” 

You tried to hold off a smile, but it was futile. You didn’t expect that announcing it to other people was that gratifying after more than a year of consistently telling people otherwise. . 

Damn it feels good to be more than just friends with Kuroo. 

A/N”

I want to cry. This was my very first fic and my very first series as well. I'm so happy to see it through and finish it.

I'm thinking of an epilogue maybe next year, but for now, I'm marking it as completed.

I love you all.

Part 9 || Epilogue ||  m.list

taglist (thos in bold and crossed out can’t be tagged)

@lia-faerie-queen @mkkhaikyuu @fastidious-and-precise @winunk @feelkindahorny @cece-lives-here @arendizzle @phantomneko0 @ysatrap @babythotshq @ameliaxo @miiy @kurooscoochie @lucifers-luv @suikrem

[star-anise]

I don't know if this is crossing boundaries to ask so feel free to ignore, but do you have any advice for someone with rejection-sensitive dysphoria, an intolerance for ambiguity and a history of social ostracization / access to the In-Group being dependent on Some Unsafe Shit for figuring out where one stands with an online social circle? Like, if one really feels like they're being neglected / put on a shelf, but doesn't know how to address it without receiving platitudes that it's not

(insecurity ask cont.) Really that bad / wasn't intentional / sure they still LIKE one they just kept happening to be busy at the time - etc. Basically figuring a way through the situation if one doesn't want to do what the Anxiety wants, which is cut run and self isolate, but doesn't find the allistic normative reassurance of "oh no we really do want you around sweaty : )" reassuring or helpful in the least.

This is a live topic of discussion in my friend-groups, since my close social circle is like 95% people with a history of being bullied, serious brainweasels* around social shit and rejection, ASD and/or ADHD, and seriously geeky social skills. So my response is not like, “We have a Method! It works! I’m patenting it!” nearly so much as “Um... this is what seems not to have exploded too badly so far.” And I’m answering this publicly rather than privately because other people have useful things to contribute too. 

*(Brainweasel = little nasty thing that eats your brain)

(Like seriously if anyone DOES have A Method I’m all ears because I still do the self-isolation self-destruct way too easily)

Anyway. THE GOOD STUFF (which got really long):

I’ve personally found that it helps to make it really clear to people that if something is wrong, I want to know. I literally say, “My personal definition of Hell is when I think I’m having a happy fun time with a friend who is enjoying themselves, but in reality, I’m annoying them and they secretly resent me for it. Please don’t put me in that situation.”  It’s kind of the opposite of asking for validation--it’s trying to reduce my own emotional hypervigilance, and also shifting the burden of dealing with the problem to the other person. Now, if they find me annoying, they have to do something about it--either spend less time with me, or let me know what’s up.

Asking for things and saying “No is an okay answer!”

Being open about my wants and needs while also letting people know how much I’m willing to compromise. “I don’t know what anybody else is feeling, but for dinner I have a mild preference for pizza,” or “I’m in the kind of mood where I basically want someone to talk to about this creative project for an hour in a really intense, informed, and interested way that also doesn’t step on my creative vision’s toes, or I don’t want to talk about it at all. So unless someone really wants to talk about it, how’s the weather?”

If you can find people who are geeks about feelings and have done a lot of introspection and can be very honest, and basically didn’t think that Twitter thread about asking friends for consent for emotional labour was a bad thing? That’s probably going to help, since when you’re all in the middle of dealing with moderate-to-severe brainweasels that is the kind of wrangling that needs to happen.

Hacking into Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, if you can do it. I’ve had to explain to several people now: DBT is fundamentally about trying to unlearn you from a system of If I Only Behave A Certain Way, Life Will Finally Work Out, to having a more flexible, more adaptive set of skills that you can see in a kind of pro/con fashion and decide which of life’s sucky parts you’d rather deal with because it gets you your preferred set of upsides. The problem is: DBT kind of presents itself as a system of If You Only Behave A Certain Way, Life Will Finally Work Out! So especially for my Autistic friends, doing DBT, while useful, involves considerable arguing with the system, deciding which of it works for you and which of it doesn’t, and hacking it apart and rearranging it in your own idiosyncratic way. This isn’t actually failing to do DBT, it’s using the methods DBT teaches you on DBT itself. 

Finding a therapist who can treat baseline-neurodivergent LGBTQ+ nerds with complex trauma IS difficult, but not impossible. Not every therapist can do it. (I personally am considering giving up finding one in my city, and making use of the temporary relaxation of restrictions on distance practice across jurisdictional boundaries thanks to COVID-19 and phoning up my old therapist a province over.) If you can’t get a personal recommendation, I recommend literally cold-emailing about a half-dozen likely suspects from Psychology Today or Theravive and asking them, “Do you have any training or experience in treating [geeks/adults with complex trauma/queer people/whatever has made therapists act like cats with boots on around you before]?”

To wildly veer back to your original question

Imagine something that someone could do for you that would make you feel warm and loved. Something that would take a minute or less to do. When you’re feeling unloved, say “I’m feeling down, could anyone do [this thing] for me?” That’s literally why I ask people to show me cat pictures--I have times when I feel sad and alone and like the entire world hates me, and that’s a VERY big feeling for anyone to step in and fill, so instead? I ask for cat pics.

This, I should add, required going back into my trauma memories and deprogramming the origin of my Nice Things Are Evil Poison If I Asked The Person To Be Nice To Me brainweasel. Which is part of why I’m so insistent on asking people not to put me in my personal Hell situation.

Like, sometimes with my clients, we literally create a restaurant menu of Things People Could Do If They Wanted To Be Nice To Me, ranging from cheap $5 items like cat pics and memes to $200 bottles of wine that would be getting married and taking out a mortgage together. Sometimes we talk Love Languages just to go through several different sensory modalities. Then, if creating that menu wasn’t scary enough, they start telling their friends what’s on the list. “I really like things with dragons on them” or "I love to know when somebody’s thinking of me even when I’m not there” or “I really wish I had someone to watch movies with”. This reduces the cognitive load if somebody wants to reach out to you but doesn’t know how.

Relatedly: If you’re in a bad mood and doing something to self-regulate, you might consider letting people know what’s going on. People who are merely being civil might interpret “I’m feeling terrible about myself today” as “You are now socially obligated to blow smoke up my ass”; moderating the statement with a positive attempt to make things better, like “I’m focusing on my shoes a lot today because I feel like crap but they make me happy” or “I’m going to go try to shake this awful mood with Netflix” removes that pressure because it’s a problem with a built-in solution, so they’re not socially impolite if they ignore it. If people want to be emotionally closer to you, it opens the door for them to either ask about your problem, or contribute to your solution (”Oooh, I do like those shoes”) (”Have you seen this new series?”).

Okay so

Here’s the other thing

When you’re used to the one being rejected, you can spend SO much energy trying to make relationships work, and when they don’t, you just kind of shut down and fall over

What if (if you scraped together enough spare Cope) you said to yourself, “Whatever is going on--whether it’s them, or me, or whatever--I am not getting my needs met, so I’m going to back away from them a bit and focus on finding something new? They may not be evil or bad, but I’m going to downgrade them on my priority list.”

Like I’m just saying: Think about it. Every once in a while it’s possible it isn’t your fault, but the other person... just isn’t up to being the kind of friend you need right now, and no effort of yours can improve them at this time, so you’re going to let them shape up if they can but start focusing your attention elsewhere.

I realize that’s like the social equivalent of asking a homeless person to dip into their savings and start a business. But, just... sometimes you just need better friends.

Okay, it’s 2am and I’ve run out of ideas. Anyone else?

[mourntheantagonist]

hc that Billy comes to love bath bombs after Starcourt. He starts keeping some at Steve's house and some at home. He finds they help a lot when he's having a really hard time either with physical pain from his injuries or just when he's struggling mentally.

don’t mind me absolutely going off below. idk how this turned into a full fledged one shot but I hope you enjoy it anon because your mind is so amazing.

———

I can imagine billy at home for one of the first few nights and he decides to take a bath because he still can’t really stand up too well on his own. when he walks in there’s a little bag on the counter that has his name written on it. Inside is this yellow sphere wrapped in plastic. he reads the label and follows the instructions and is stunned when the water starts to turn yellow and the scent of lemon fills the bathroom.

the scent is very calming, and considering he’s been on edge ever since he stepped back through the doors of his home, it’s a welcome feeling. when he gets in the water he’s surprised to notice the change of viscosity in the water. It’s slightly slimy but it feels really relaxing.

when he gets out of the tub after soaking for a while he feels for the first time since everything happened to be cleansed of the mindflayer. not entirely. but lingering hints to the scent of lemon make him feel clean and light and just a little less like a monster. no monster smells this good.

later that day max asked if he liked the bath bomb. for a split second he’s stuck on the word bomb until he figures out what she’s talking about.

��yeah. smelled good. thanks.” he’s still struggling to open up but he’s getting better about letting down his defenses, at least to max. part of letting down his defenses caused him to only be able to speak in one to two word sentences.

max understands though. and she appreciates not having to constantly walk on eggshells around him anymore. or at least not in the same way. instead being more concerned for scaring him rather than the other way around.

a couple days later he finds a box filled with twelve additional scents and colors and effects on his bed. he smiles. max.

she continues to restock for him as he cycles through each kind. his favorites are vanilla and lavendar and also the lemon. something about it makes his thoughts slow and his aches numb and he’s almost addicted to the feeling.

although it doesn’t last long because one day neil calls him out on it. asks him why he ‘smells like a faggot’. billy is initially able to say he used one of max’s soaps because he ran out, but that won’t fly for long. he eventually stops using them and lets the little collection he’s gathered sit under the sink in the bathroom to collect dust.

then he starts spending more time with steve. just needing to get out of his own house and out of his own bed for just a couple hours of the day he goes over to steve’s when he’s not at work. steve is constantly telling billy he enjoys his company but billy continues to apologize for burdening him. he’s not used to people just caring, and it’s especially foreign coming from steve for several reasons. one being that less than a year prior he nearly put him in the hospital. the second being that steve was a man, and there has never been a man in his life to actually care about him in that way. worried for his safety and well being. so billy tried to pull away, because he wasn’t going to allow him to let someone in just to be turned away at the door a second later.

but steve gets absolutely sick of it. sick of billy pulling away and believing he’s undeserving so steve practically forced him to believe it by kissing him the very next time he walks through the door. a very risky act on his part but he’s grown to trust billy over time that he’s not as worried as he could be for the outcome. he’s relieved when billy kisses him back, dropping a duffle bag to the floor that went completely unnoticed by steve as he was too locked in on billy’s lips. too locked in to notice the black eye that he only spotted when they pulled apart. too enthralled with the fact that he was kissing billy to taste the blood in his mouth. he’d ran away this time. he packed a bag and left and hoped steve would take him in. being met with a kiss right off the bat was the best thing that could have happened when steve opened that door. like the huge favor he was about to ask for almost became a small request because steve was inviting him into more than just his home. the kiss was an invitation into his life, and invitation for his care and love and all the mushy gushy stuff.

“I need a place to stay.”

steve, obviously and literally, welcomes billy into his home with open arms. immediately taking him to the bathroom to fix up the damage his father inflicted. steve kneeling before him while he sits on the toilet seat in complete silence. acting as if they didn’t have each other’s tongues down their throat just moments ago. both of them deciding it wasn’t the best time to talk about it. billy looked absolutely exhausted and worn and desperately needed sleep, and a nice bath (I know I just veered way off course but back to the regularly scheduled programming).

it was actually steve’s suggestion. noting the aches in his legs and back would probably be happy to be submerged under hot water. steve runs him the bath and goes to grab billy’s duffle upon request. steve gives him a soft kiss to the top of his head, before he leaves telling him they can talk about everything in the morning, and for him to just relax and take his time.

billy rummages for the small box he remembered to pack that’s filled with all the fun scents that max had been gifting him, after having to switch to using unscented alternatives which were nice but didn’t give him that same feeling.

he quickly picks out the cotton candy scented one that he’s been dying to try out. because what does cotton candy even smell like? he drops the bath bomb into the water and watches as it sizzles and quickly turns the water pink. oh if neil were there to see his sun soaking in a tub filled with pink water smelling like a fucking candy shop owner he’d do more damage than what had been inflicted earlier that night.

despite the developing bruises all over his body and the sting as the contents of the bath bomb filled his open wounds, he hadn’t felt this good in months. physically he felt like shit. but he was mentally and emotionally euphoric. running off the high from just minutes ago having steve harrington’s lips on his. the boy he believed to have been so far out of reach and was happy enough to just appreciate from afar. it felt unreal and like it was a dream. all that combined with the surprisingly intoxicatingly amazing aroma filling his senses and the feeling of rejoice as he finally took the steps to leave the clutches of his abuser and was so much more than successful. it was sheer bliss accompanied by aches and pains from past and present inflictions that didn’t seem so bad anymore.

steve and billy sleep in the same bed that night. they don’t cuddle or even so much as let limb touch limb, still unsure of the boundaries. but even with the distance between them steve can smell the unfamiliar candy like scent and takes it all in.

when they wake up in the morning they talk everything over during breakfast. billy tells him how his father just came home and started pounding into him completely unprompted. shouting slurs at him. the smell of whiskey potent on his breath. billy truly knew then that it was no longer about what he did or did not do. he’d feel his wrath regardless. and steve had scolded him about self preservation before and finally decided to take his advice.

then they adress the even larger elephant in the room, their kiss. it’s not that they were avoiding the topic per se, but they were definitely afraid to abandon this good feeling by talking about it. but they bite the bullet anyway, and they don’t regret that they do. despite how uncomfortable it is for billy to talk open about his feelings, especially these kinds of feelings, he feels something inside him release at the confession. like everything he was holding inside of him is free to the open air and steve takes hold of it and cherishes it.

their little unspoken thing that has been developing over the course of a few months finally being spoken. finally giving a name to the meaning to it all. of their late at night trips to the quarry. sharing a joint as they stare at the water below as it reflects the night sky. of their movie marathons on steve’s living room couch. giving meaning to each individual brush of the knee under the shared blanket. of stolen glances and words said under their breath. of thoughts of the other invading their dreams at night. a name to it all.

it’s a strange adjustment. to go from two guys secretly pining over each other from afar to instantaneously dating and living together. sharing a bed together, sharing meals together. things they were so used to doing alone now having a guest. it was nice and strange at the same time but they both welcomed it. waking up under the warmth of another human being. getting to see each other at their worst, when they were riddled with bed head and morning breath, and loving each other all the same.

what they did in bed wasn’t fucking. screwing. banging. it was much more. it was unfair to use those words that once described their previous encounters to describe what they did with each other. it was much different. putting their partners pleasure above their own. yearning for each other’s lips upon their own above anything else. as cheesy and corny as it is it was, they made love.

things moved awfully quickly. the two of them knowing they were in love with each other from the very start, however never saying the words out loud. they didn’t go through the normal stages of a relationship. they skipped a lot of steps and that led to some bad days. sometimes they spent too much time together, and billy’s on true safe haven came in spherical shaped and wrapped in noisy plastic, rather than a can of beer or a pack of marlboro’s.

that’s where he goes when things get shaky between the two. when he feels his fists clenching against his will and the veins on his forehead make their presence known. he escapes a potentially bad situation and lets his anger rise out of him with the steam of the hot water, and dissipate into nothingness. cleansing himself of the hurt. scars hidden under opaque colorful water.

the problem is steve doesn’t like when billy leaves him alone without word. he understands he needs his space, but he wishes he’d only talk to him about it before walking off.

on one day, when billy left mid conversation, steve follows. he honestly doesn’t know what he thought billy did in the bathroom for hours, and he’s not sure why he’s surprised to find his boyfriend laid out in a bath full of deep blue water with his eyes closed just relaxing. noticing the rise and fall of his chest as he takes in deep calming breaths. noticing the beach like scent that floods the room.

“can I join you?” steve finally asks. very intrigued in what all of this is.

billy thought he’d be more upset about steve bathing in. about him completely disregarding his need for space, but he wasn’t. perhaps space wasn’t really the thing he needed. he gestures to the other end of the tub, signaling the affirmative.

steve strips and slowly lowers himself into the tub. he’s facing billy who has since gone back and shut his eyes, head pointed to the ceiling. the water is very hot but feels really good on his skin. he has his legs pulled up to his chest as to not disturb billy. he just watches him as he relaxes completely. a state he rarely, if ever, has seen him in.

after several minutes billy opens his eyes and pulls steve over towards him so now they are both facing the same direction and steve is sitting in between billy’s legs. he has his arms wrapped around him and kisses his shoulder.

“I’m sorry for just walking out.”

“it’s okay. I get it.” steve responds, bringing his own hand to lay on top of both of billy’s that grip his stomach. “wanna tell me how you made the water turn blue?”

“magic.”

steve laughs and leans into billy, closing his eyes like he had and completely understanding almost instantly. it’s like he goes somewhere else. somewhere warm that smells of the ocean. somewhere nice and serene. he could easily fall asleep right there in billy’s arms. allowing himself to prune up under the water.

it’s something they continue together. when they both feel like they’ve had enough of each other for the day, instead of going off on their own, they strip down and enjoy a moment together in the tub. closing their eyes and imagining far away places while wrapped up in each other. a reminder that they’re both still there for each other. alone but together. dealing with their issues as a unit. feeling clean and smelling good afterwards.

steve comes home one day lugging in multiple bags worth of bath bombs along with other fun stuff like bath salts and bubble bars. their bathroom cupboards are better stocked than their kitchen. they both admit it might be just a little excessive.

but it doesn’t matter. because it’s perfect for them. any fight, any argument, any disagreement. all it takes is a brightly colored bath bomb and all that tension disaplears under the sizzle. it’s strange knowing they have max to thank for all of it.

[lovelivingmydreams]

Paper Flowers: one step forwards two steps back

Progress isn't always linear. And the setbacks can feel devastating. But it might still be worth it to try and move forward again.

A cute puppy jumps around excitedly, clearly asking to play, in a grassy field, on a sunny day.

Dad lays his hands to his heart. "Aw so cute!"

The dark Lord has his arms crossed, face partially hidden in the shadow of his pulled up hood. "Pathetic," he scoffs, not even looking.

A cat delicately washes her face. Dad gasps. "Elegant!"

Nemesis rolls his eye. "Obnoxious"

A horse prances around a meadow, hair flowing freely in the wind.

Dad stared on in awe and whispered: "Majestic."

Nemesis pinched the bridge of his nose. "Disgraceful"

Suddenly Dad jumped on a bench and pointed frantically at the ground. "Aaah spider!" he screamed.

Nemesis cooed as he knelt down. "Hello there darling!" He gets up, gently petting a massive spider.

Dad screams in horror once more.

 "Well, that was fun," Patton smiled nervously. Virgil looked up at his paternal colleague with a raised brow. The man's body language didn't exactly radiate "I just had fun" energy.

"Plastic spider got you spooked huh?" He mused as he returned his attention to his phone. Thomas just got done filming their character's collab video. Princey's latest very transparent attempt at helping Virgil get along with the others.

"A little," Patton admitted. "But still. I get why Roman enjoys making videos with you so much!"

Virgil suppressed a scoff. There was no real need to point out that it was just Thomas playing caricature versions of them. If Patton wanted to pat himself on the back for this he wasn't going to burst his bubble. So he just shrugged. "I guess," he muttered not noticing how Patton lit up at this small victory.

“Wonderful work you two!” Roman beamed as he entered the commons. Okay, so apparently there was a point in pointing out the obvious.

“Does everyone just forget that it is Thomas who plays these characters? Most we did was toss in a few suggestions. The vine is all you Roman, jeez!” Virgil complained, though he gave Roman the smallest hint of a smile. He wasn’t sure if Roman had started making an effort to give the others credit since they became friends, or if it was just a part of him Virgil only saw now because he spent some actual time around him without shouting insults at each other. Not to say they hadn’t had fights the past… Six months, man time flies. Anyway, their fights could get just as heated as ever. But now after they stormed off to their rooms to cool down, one or the other would eventually knock on the other’s back door with a movie or a snack and an apology. They’d talk things out and make up. It was much better like this. In the past when Virgil’s anger subsided he’d start panicking about… well, everything. Not talking about it afterwards, or even acknowledging that a fight had taken place… Yeah not great.

Roman just rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say Gloom Day. But what did you guys think?” he asked, smile back in place. Roman was already feeling good about today because Virgil had more or less openly complemented him.

“It was amazing Roman! I’m sure the fanders will love it too!” Patton gushed.

Roman gave a little bow. “Thanks padre. Your enthusiasm is appreciated as always.”

This time Virgil could not contain his snort.

“Something funny? Panic at the everywhere?” Roman asked, hands on his hips and a brow raised in challenge.

“Nice one,” Virgil allowed. “It’s just, why even bother asking him? You know he’s going to sing your praises. You can’t sneeze without getting a medal as far as Patton is concerned,” he pointed out.

“That’s not true,” Patton protested gently.

“Well, what did you think then? Oh, sinister one?” Roman asked expectantly, not commenting on the medal thing.

Virgil thought about that for a moment. “I guess it was sort of okay. It was rough on Thomas because Dad and Nemesis have very different energy, but he enjoyed it. The fanders probably didn’t expect the nemesis to interact with other characters,” he allowed, trying to sound reluctant. This time he did see that Patton was beaming. He was really getting too soft around the others.

“Evening everyone,” Logan greeted as he entered the commons. Making Patton get up to get dinner ready and Virgil contemplate whether he’d have dinner in his room or if he could handle a little more social interaction.

“Logan! How did you like today’s project? I am two for two and feeling pretty good, so no need to hold back your criticism,” Roman grinned. Logan cast his eyes to Virgil and then to Patton who nodded, clearly excited to confirm this.

“I see. Well while your intentions were rather transparent, it was a rather good experiment.”

Virgil sat up confused. Did… Did Logan figure them out?

“I don’t have any idea what you are talking about,” Roman grinned innocently.

Logan sighed and adjusted his glasses. “Fine. You ran a test to see how the fanders would respond to the characters loosely based on our personalities interacting. Anxiety and Patton are an interesting first choice. My character and Patton’s would have a more natural combined narrative, but it is effective none the less. I assume that if this gets positive reviews, you will propose other collaborations as well?”

Roman shrugged. “Maybe.”

Virgil felt kind of bad. Roman had promised to stop pushing the subject after things got to a blow with Patton after the whole ‘Marcus’ incident. He should have known that he wouldn’t intentionally push them together.

“Oh Roman! That’s a brilliant idea! That’ll definitely help Anxiety feel less nervous about the whole thing. Right Anxiety?” Patton asked kindly.

Virgil shrugged as he got up to set the table. Just to have something to do.

“You guys do whatever. I’m still not on board.” He didn’t expect them to get it. They represented what people liked about Thomas. His intelligence, creativity, humor, kindness, passion…

He was… as far as everyone was concerned, what hurt Thomas. And yes, he overdid it, a lot. He had tried to be better, honestly, but he couldn’t help who he was.

“We’ll see about that Doominator. I’ll win you over, just you wait. But what did you think Logan?” Roman insisted, pulling Virgil out of his thoughts.

“Well, until we have more data it is hard to say…” Logan started, but then he stopped to ponder. Roman was actively asking for feedback. He had even stated that he could handle it if it wasn’t entirely positive. Maybe he should reward that effort with some of his own.

“Though while I usually would stick with facts, if it is my personal opinion you are seeking…”

An eager nod from Roman confirmed this. Well here goes.

“You all know I am not most in tune with emotions and artistic endeavors. That being said, you did well. The classic broken pattern and the recurring theme of closing off a video including Anxiety and any other character with some form of screaming will almost certainly be well received by the fans.”

Roman was beaming. He had more or less expected someone to criticize the skit in some way, but they all really thought it was good. Maybe the Sanders Sides series could actually happen!

“Dinner’s ready! Thanks for helping out Anxiety,” Patton said pleasantly.

Virgil looked down at the table and found he’d finished setting for four. Guess he’ll be staying for dinner.

He sat across from Patton with Roman to his right and Logan to his left. Roman was brainstorming out loud while they ate dinner, occasionally encouraged by Patton or redirected by Logan when he veered of topic. Once or twice Virgil even muttered a teasing remark which had Roman pouting dramatically and the specs trying to hide their amusement.

It was nice, almost, normal.

He should’ve known then that something was heading his way.

“What do you say Florida Ghoul? Underrated Disney movie night?” Roman asked as they put away the dishes.

Virgil was honestly tempted. Almost all his favorites were in that category. Which Roman knew. They’d argued about the best movies often enough.

But if he started he might lose track of time…

“I have made you all suffer through enough of me I think. I’m going to head down, see what the others are up to.” Thomas was more or less dozing off in front of the tv, he should be fine going down. Maybe he could ask J for a movie night of their own.

“Night,” he waved as he made his way to the door to below. Suddenly he felt someone tug at his hoodie? He looked back, expecting Roman, but it was Patton, looking at him with big shocked eyes.

“Y-you’ll be back though right? We really don’t mind you staying. You don’t have to…”

Virgil raised his hands. “Wow, calm down. What made you think I was going to go back? Permanently I mean.”

Patton looked away, let go of his shirt and started fidgeting with his hands.

That told Virgil enough. He looked up to Roman and Logan. “What did Deceit do?”

Roman got ready to speak, but Logan beat him to it.

“About a week ago, after we first discussed Roman’s Sanders Sides idea, he made a brief appearance. He implied that he might take you back in if we didn’t do a better job of ‘handling you’. Roman and I already assured Patton that Janus has no such power without our aid, but he apparently has not been convinced.”

Virgil glanced to Roman who nodded to confirm that this was how things had played out.

He let out a tired sigh. “I can’t belief this guy. I’ll be right back.”

Before anyone could say anything he rushed down the stairs. His thoughts racing. Was this the first time Janus had tried to guilt the others into being his friends? Had Roman… No… No he couldn’t start down that path. Not yet anyway.

“Janus!” he called out as he entered the living room.

“Virgin!” Remus greeted excitedly. Virgil gave the chaotic gremlin he’d grown up with a quick wave.

“Leave us for a sec Remus,” he growled, not looking away from the yellow clad side.

Janus walked up to Remus, looking at Virgil with confusion.

“Why don’t you go hunt something for breakfast Remus,” Janus suggests. Remus didn’t need any more prompting than that. A second later they were alone.

"Virgil, what's the matter?"

Virgil worked a brow. "What do you think? Why could I possibly be mad at you?" He asked, wanting to give Janus a chance to fess up himself.

Janus took in his body language and expression. This was not the fury he'd expect if he'd somehow discovered Janus had been in his room when he wasn't there.

So that left... "Did the lights really tell on me?" He huffed trying to hide how worried that made him. He had no clue about the context. What did Virgil think happened?

"No. I said I was planning on hanging with you guys tonight with plenty of my usual self deprecating humor and Patton was worried I was planning on staying away. I figured you had something to do with that. Logan told me what happened because I asked," Virgil clarified.

"Now I want to hear your side. The truth J. Please." He really hoped the explanation wouldn't be as heartbreaking as the one in his head.

Janus took in a deep breath. "Okay, bit promise we'll stay on topic. No evading, no beating around the bush." Virgil nodded in agreement.

Janus studied his face for a moment until he was satisfied with what he saw. "Okay. Virgil you have been disappearing. I tried to check up on you a few times the past few months and you were just gone. I allowed you to go upstairs because I thought it would be better for you. But if they are erasing you... I needed them to at least try to keep you. I didn't know what else to do..."

Virgil groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to skip over the fact that you obviously entered my room while I was our, for now." He took a deep breath. It wasn't a surprise really. Janus and Remus both always just appeared in his room when they wanted to speak with him. So of course Janus had occasionally popped in to find it empty.

"I was probably in the imagination," Virgil confessed.

"The... why? How?!" Janus asked shocked.

"Roman gave me a little meadow to relax. Like 5 months ago I think. Not too long after the prince vs nemesis video's started. I go there when I need a break."

Janus stammered for a few seconds before letting out a utterly perplexed: "Why?"

That hurt a little. Was it that hard to belief?

"He only said he felt like giving me something. Maybe it was because I gave him some constructive criticism earlier and he wanted to try out positive reinforcement. You know he always overdoes everything," Virgil explained. There wasn't a single lie in his statement, so Janus believed him.

"But... he's not supposed to know..." Janus collapsed a hand in front of his mouth, realizing he said that out loud.

"What is Roman not supposed to know?" Virgil growled.

Janus took a small step back. "I... before I sent you upstairs I told Patton and Logan what I was planning and why. I wanted to be sure they'd look after you."

Virgil nodded. That made sense. "Why was Roman not supposed to know that?"

Janus couldn't look at Virgil. "I... told them I was worried what it would do to Thomas if you didn't move to a less stressful environment. I wasn't sure if Roman would be helpful or even more wary of you. So I blocked even the thought of telling Roman about our conversation from their minds."

Virgil was silent for a few moments. Somehow he felt a lot better about everything now. It all made so much more sense.

"Unblock it then," he muttered as he turned around.

"Virgil..."

"Unblock it. I'll see you guys next week or something. Maybe..." J had meant well after all... right?

"Virgil!" Janus called after him, but he was already halfway the upper commons.

When he walked in Roman, Logan and Patton were standing there waiting for him.

"Janus lied. So you don't have to pretend anymore. And you should be able to tell Roman," he said. Hands in his pockets, leaning casually against the doorframe. His old walks back in place. It was better that way.

"Anxiety... kiddo no. You..."

"Just drop it!" Virgil hissed in his tempest tongue, the briefest glimpse of his feral form was enough to make Patton stagger backwards into Logan. Roman was reaching out though. He was still on Virgil's side.

"I was getting sick of all this sappy family stuff anyway," he scoffed before leaving for gos room.

 Roman stormed into the meadow ready to break down Virgil's door if he had to. Virgil hadn't knocked not even once. But he couldn't be left alone with his thoughts now!

He was barely two steps inside when he spotted Virgil sitting there, a crown of purple daisies in his hand.

"You came," the anxious man breathed in relief.

Roman sat down next to him careful to keep enough distance but also be within reach.

"Of course," he said gently. They both knew ge wanted to defend Patton and Logan. To assure Virgil that they never did what they did because they feared he would be pushed to the edge and hurt Thomas in the fallout.

Virgil had explained to him that his discomfort around Patton was due to feeling like the moral side saw him as a ticking timebomb.

The reason for that was painfully obvious now. But how to make Virgik see that Patton was more distant than he wanted to be instead of more welcoming?

"I knew it was all too good to be true. The bubble was bound to burst... I told myself not to get too attached, cause it would end up hurting... I didn't realize... not until earlier. My room is almost back where I started Roman. I litterally pushed them away. And I thought... I thought I'd pushed you away too." Roman could tell Virgil had been crying.

"Preposterous. I'm much too stuborn to get rid if that easily," he assured Virgil. The darker side cracked a smile at that.

"I'm glad I was wrong about that..."

Roman nodded. Virgil had told him how much he hated being right.

"Did I ruin movienight?" Virgil wondered tensely.

"Well I don't know about Logan and Patton. But you and I are going yo watch all those tragically underrated movies."

And with a wave of his hand Roman set out an out doors movie theatre complete with snacks. The sky darkened and Virgil was handed a movie menu.

He smirked as he looked it over. Roman really did have to overdo everything. Including distracting him.

It was appreciated though.

@moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @riverdoesbadart @vpow @apinkline2715 @frida43 @tired-yeetling @firegirl156

Later Virgil would discover that his room was moved just a few feet closer to the upper level again.

Next: adjusting

[beastsars]

idiomatic | louis (beastars) x carnivore!reader

i wont promise that i’m over this trope, but i think i have fed myself enough to focus on other avenues. a few people sent in some legoshi stuff so that’s my next wip. keep them coming.

as usual, more mature content below. some fun times at the masquerade party. 

“and what, pray tell, am i to do about these antlers?”

pursing your lips, you gave the stout head ornaments an accusatory look. those with distinctive marking and other decorative characteristics often had the hardest time concealing their species. it was easy enough to distinguish between herbivore and carnivore but the fun was found in simply not caring.

if your target audience put in enough effort to disguise themselves.

parties like these broke both social and sexual boundaries, allowing people to lose inhibition and act on their baser selves. before you met louis, such environments frequently occupied your time off campus. it helped to stimulate your attraction to the opposite dynamic and eventually bribe your courage to seek out a suitable partner.

bringing him here was symbolic of returning to your roots. it would also show him that he wasn’t alone in his affections. not that the sentiment didn’t already hit close to home.

“too bad you’re not about to shed them,” you comment offhandedly, rightfully earning a sharp look of ire. chuffing at the display of pride, you vowed to yourself that you would show the male exactly what such strict dignity led him to lose out on.

patting his muzzle with unveiled condescension, you managed to slip away from his agitated grasp. the deer continued to gripe and moan while you fitted yourself into a choice dress for the evening and prowled the selection of shoes. honestly, the way pursuing beastar felt at ease displaying the less ideal parts of his personality would be endearing if it didn’t possess so much whining.

it hardly mattered. you would give him something else to occupy his attention.

catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you offered the image a self-appreciating wink before stepping out of the closet, one leg protruding ahead of you to show off your finely fitted heels.

“tell me, if i was a herbivore, would you still beg me to bite you?”

the curve of your buttock marked the cut off point of your dress, leaving little to the imagination as the rest of the material hugged your form. this clothing style opted without the aperture to fit a tail, allowing the appendage to swing idly from beneath the depths. it often incited others to perk your mood if only for a brief show.

louis has obviously seen you in less, but the presentation was too pungent with erotic intentions for him to remember anything else. grinning, you permitted his hands to edge the hem of your dress, warm palms marking promises against your thighs.

“and what exactly do you plan to be tonight?” he drawled slowly.

you knew that look. the one that was going to quickly get you out of this dress if you didn’t corral him into his own suit for the night.

pressing a chaste kiss to his nose, you nudged him towards the closet.

“i guess you’ll have to find out.”

you opted to rent out a mask for the evening. this way you could keep your choice hidden for a few moments longer and ideally find something fresh to attend the party in. you had a nice selection at home, but you’d cycled through them enough that somebody would approach you out of familiarity.

upon arriving, you had put louis in the good hands of friends who helpfully escorted him out of your sight and into his own fitting room. but not without complaint as his sputtering curses trailed down the hall.

“he’s a cutie. he yours?”

offering a noncommittal shrug, you settled on a thinner, less intricate mask for the evening. your dress was inviting and memorable enough. in a place like this, it was hard to tell who would challenge a pair.

at the clink of glass against the table, you efficiently down the alcohol and reached for the bottle to chase the burn. sexual prowess aside, you possessed enough restraint to cater accordingly to the opposite disposition. it was more for the eased minds than anything else.

“you’ll have your hands full keeping females and males alike off of him. he’s a built boy. anyone would love to see what he’s packing,” there was a tease to the voice but desire had a place too. you doubted it would take long for subtlety to be washed out. proprietary didn’t exactly have a place here.

polishing off the rest your your drink, you made an effort to pat down any remaining wrinkles before donning your mask. “well, i better get to him quickly then.”

“it’s rather delicate. made of papier mache ,i think. do be careful, it’s borrowed.”

his words of warning were no match for your inquisitive touch, however, as you stretched up against his body to prod against the medium surrounding his antlers.

they’d fashioned him as a moose of all things.

you didn’t know how you hadn’t thought of it. but truly, it was the of the few options available to at least conceal his dominant species. without the stench of alcohol anyone would know he was a herbivore, but at least this way he would abide by the base rules.

the covering of his antlers was more of an addition than part of the mask. the inner workings using his antlers as a statue to hang the camouflage over. it was rather convincing.

when the costume creaked threateningly at your touch, louis’ hand shot up to snag your wrist.

“i said it’s fragile,” he insisted.

the hiss of his voice encouraged your gaze to drop to his mask to give it it’s own appreciation. it was certainly wider than his own face, marginally longer too, to account for the massive beast he was portraying. coupled with his slim but muscled body, even beneath the suit, he was likely to garner some provocative attention. it was a shame you had to break some many hearts openly tonight.

humming an octave lower than your usual voice, you pressed yourself against the male with your arms around his waist. chin propped against his chest, you offered a cheeky grin.

“so what do you think?”

forced to enter from the back due to his identifiable features, he’d wasn’t awarded to opportunity to take in the scenery. the night was young and tame as most of the individuals simply mingled and broke ice. you wondered how long it would take for habits to surface.

“it seems like any other social event,” he muttered distractedly. he was likely trying the mundane task of attempting to unveil species from beneath their masks. everyone fell privy to the game sooner or later.

louis palmed at your side,” more importantly, why do you smell so strongly of intoxication.”

“trade off of being a carnivore, unfortunately. herbivores feel safest when we’re too drunk off our asses to pull rank.” rising to toes you spoke with conspiracy in his ear while your free hand trailed down his midline. “personally, i think they just want to take advantage.”

the male didn’t take too kindly to being groped in public, quickly seizing your other hand as he hissed. “it seems they're not the only ones.”

unable to resist laughing, you let him have the control while it lasted. “baby, you have no idea.”

despite your best efforts, more than a few figures approached you in greeting. without the pleasantries of names, most of the conversation was geared towards speculative tastes and pillars of society. already trained in the practice small talk, louis led more of the conversation than he followed. his strong nature captured a majority of the attention anyway with his passionate disposition towards the arts. 

sipping idly at something fruity, you leaned comfortably into his arm as your gaze wandered the party. as the night wore on, it was beginning to grow as more individuals showed up fashionably late. the amount of alcohol had doubled to accommodate as more trays made rounds. they naturally gravitated towards the carnivores more, no one ever having to reach more than an arms length for a glass. 

louis laughed earnestly next to you, the pads of his fingers tracing odd shapes on your back as he transitioned smoothly into another topic. he seemed to be handling it all much better than you expected but the real festivities had hardly begun. 

the moment the conversation began to veer towards the more illicit ventures of business, you politely excused yourselves to a less occupied corner of the room. dragging louis down by your grip at his elbow, you fell back eagerly into the plush couches. 

“you seem to be enjoying yourself at least,” you mentioned as you leaned down to massage the muscle above the cut of your heel. your departure had a dual purpose as you really just need a moment off your feet. as exquisite as your shoes were, they rarely offered much comfort. 

you hadn’t even realized that louis hadn’t even acknowledged your response as you switched to the other foot and ultimately debated taking them off while you rested. it certainly wouldn’t be the most unsightly proposition. eyes sliding shut, you leaned back again. maybe a few more drinks would change your mind about your less than ideal clothing choices. 

at the sudden tension of muscle beneath you, your gaze snapped open to assess the problem. 

“are they?”

from his broken articulation alone, you had an inclination of what was transpiring. you were wondering how long it would take. 

humming delightfully from your position curled up against him, you followed his gaze across the room to a pair who decided to take initiative to properly get the get together started. clothing strewn this way and that, the left nothing to the imagination as they rutted against one another.

louis shuddered as your claw teased the fastens of his suit jacket but you didn’t go as far to pry the button from its place. in a situation like this, he was no better than a virgin and likely as easily frightened if approached wrong. not that it would stop you from proding. 

“lou, you feel so warm. are you embarrassed?”

unable to help himself, the stag stuttered in his speech.” they’re practically mating in public.”

“ are mating in public,” you chided unhelpfully.

this was nothing new for you to partake in. with each new realization from louis as he experienced your world with naive eyes, it made you head buzz from the thrill of it all. you leaned away from him long enough to snag a floating flute from the hovering attendant. it wasn’t as strong as what you’d knocked down prior but hopefully it would be enough to ease some of the tension from his shoulders.

nibbling at the exposed tuffs of his ears, you prompted him to drink. seemingly grateful for the distraction the male downed the champagne without a second thought.

he really was such a bundle of nerves.

ignoring his startled grapple at your sides, you lifted a leg over his lap and settled on top of him. your body didn’t offer much of a shield, but your weight was enough of a diversion.

by partaking in the drink, he’d solved the mystery of where the mouthpiece of his mask for you. with confidence, you were able to tilt up his head and slot your mouths together. he resists at first, the protest only give you the opening to slide your tongue between his lips.

you moan eagerly and vocally, utilizing your own sounds to drown out the commotion behind you. you capture his bottom lips between your teeth, swallowing the sweet taste of his gasp as you test him by grinding softly. the pinch of his fingers don’t go unnoticed but he doesn’t try to stop it either.

breaking away with a harsh pant of your own, you make a slow effort of loosening the buttons of his jacket, giving him every opportunity to escape the proposition.

“this is why i brought you here, lou.”

his grip at your hips pulsed like a heartbeat, fluctuating in intensity as he traded glances between you and the moving bodies around you. it generally only took one couple to take the plunge for the others to follow suit.

the wide room was starting to truly burst with life, coating the walls with a lustful aura. masks of all shapes and sizes engaging in causal conversation while observing the unhurried fucking of others as if in a pristine museum.

you let him keep the jacket on to give him some sort of protection, still mindful of his frazzled psych as you left chaste kisses along his neck.

“what? so i’d fuck you in public?” learning from his dramatic prose on stage, louis seemed to be snatching at all of his talents to compose himself. you snatched yet another flute of something more colorful this time, tipping against his lips without warning to bring his attention back to your small corner.

“not that . if you pay attention, you’d see they aren’t unlike us.”

latching your lips back to his throat, you mouthed your words as the glass trembled against his.

“see that ox and flamingo over there? the first is a mountain goat, i can’t pinpoint the species but i recognize the stance. and the pretty little thing he has bent over the banister, a lynx- see, there’s her cute little tail wagging.” your nose traces his jaw. “herbivores and carnivores sharing heated passion without ostracization. it’s not just a kink, louis, it’s a lifestyle.”

you can see the moment the clarity parts the clouds of his cognition. gone is the speculation as he comes to terms with the hidden intentions of your invitation. it was rare that you did anything subtly with him, he often having ot maintain propriety. 

there were obviously other factors staked against either of you going public with your relationship, the most prominent lighting a slow spark toward the eventual dissolution of your arrangement. but he had never really thought past his own adoration of you. by now it was beyond the scope of just the sexual nature/ yet without positive societal examples,, he was often left scrambling with labeling his feelings. 

while this-gathering to say the least- wasn’t the best example to base his own experiences on as he took it all in, it wasn’t hard to see where the stark black and white began to blur. 

leave it to you to utilize the most extreme to make a point.

louis surprised you then by breaking his inner monologue and fitting his hand against the smooth column of your throat. his hold much more self-assured than before. the gradual change shot straight to your core as you wriggled.

“but you didn’t answer me.” the hold pulls your mouth away as he forcefully captures your attention this time. there is no doubt that most of his valor is a product of the mask, no different than the one he wears on stage. but your relative appreciate drew together more likeness between the two than you were willing to admit. louis always put so much effort in commanding an audience that he rarely was able to admire how effortlessly he was able to do so with you. 

“a lot a pretty words when the truth of it all was just that you wanted to bring me here to make a show out of yourself.” louis felt his own arousal spike as the truth of the statement struck him as well. “you want them all to see how much you love to take it from a herbivore.”

you answer with a hasty nod, breathing hitching under the restraint you’d functioned with until now. “please, lou. dominate me.”

it doesn’t take you long to adopt your shameless nature, hips undulating and grinding your core against his swelling erection. you still try to appeal to louis more kept disposition though, sliding close and sliding your hand between the gap to rub friction circles against the junction of his pants.

unable to resist teasing, you press the pad of your thumb against the tented head. “what a bad boy you’re being lou lou too. and you always accuse me of being the dirty slut.”

despite the natural restriction of his vocals, louis manages to growl, a flash of ire behind the mask. you arch as his hand wiggles under your dress, easily finishing your soiled undergarments and tucking them to the side. he slides two fingers home to the third knuckle without preamble.

“look at you, you’re even wetter than when we’re at home. you say this was for me, but look how shameless you are.” he starts to pump them in and out slowly, and you answer with a voluntary roll of your hips. he was right. you were desperate for him but the hardly changed given the setting or audience.

squeezing his shoulder for balance, you melt into a purring moan as his fingers curl within your depths. it takes more effort than it should to break your own trace to escape the pleasure enough to fumble with his zipper. louis exhales a long shuddering breath as your fingers close around him. you’re both ready without the threat of prematurity, riding on the exhilaration of the environment.

a shuddering sigh shatters the tension building within your throat as he replaces his fingers with his cock, dragging you down to take every inch of him until you’re sitting at the base. he doesn’t even reprimand you when you instinctively reach for his antlers, the thin paper crinkling under your touch as rotate you himself to ride the stuff arousal.

you were vaguely aware of your small circle being encroached on by observing parties. more grateful than anything that louis appeared to be more focused on you than their presence- a choked gasp scrambled from your lips as he brought you down in forceful thrust, a keen whine following.

when you tried to find his gaze, you found that it wasn’t even on you. the glassy haze flickering behind you around the room, holding a lazy challenge to any and every figure. it fed into the thrill to know he was getting off on the audience as much as you were.

louis pace was sloppy, but expected given the mixed influence of alcohol, your body and room around him. it all came together in the thickest mixture of lust either of you had had the privilege of sharing.

“you’re so beautiful. the world deserves to see you like this.”

a hasty nod of agreement is all you can manage, because the weight of his grounding hips and pounding thrusts are tearing away your grip on reality. you feel a piece of the mache tear away with your claws as you shudder around the drag of his cock as it sends you spiraling into release.

louis rides your aftershocks, succumbing to your quaking thighs and fluttering walls as you both collapse beneath the weight of your combined climax.

you fall forward against his chest, hiding all evidence of your joining as you soak in the thick musk. around you bodies shift again, their muttered compliment sticking to your body as they transition to the next showing. the two of you stay like that for a long moment, rising off the expansion of the others chest as you slowly collect yourselves.

curling your face into the side of his neck, you lapped gently, snickering when he twitched you’re life within your depths. pressing a kiss there you eventually manage to prop yourself up again.

“well the night’s still young and i see you’re up for another round. let’s give them their moneys worth.”

[harley-style]

If you still want to do the hijack short prompts: finding a new dragon?

[I know I said I wanted ‘short prompts’ BUT THIS ENDED UP SUPER LONG, SO HAVE A ONE-SHOT INSTEAD.]

It was supposed to be a romantic flight. Hiccup had spent a week preparing for this. Just him and Jack (and Toothless, but his dragon knew how to make himself scarce) and the starry night sky, the world at their fingertips.

He'd made sure everything on Berk was settled ahead of time.

He'd made his dad promise to handle the incoming problems for just a day. He'd done it for 14 years, what's one more day, right?

And he made sure the Dragon Riders were all occupied, courtesy of Astrid and Snotlout. That had been a surprise. He'd never expected his cousin to fully support him on this endeavor, but Snotlout had showcased a surprising amount of maturity.

("He's been snapping worse and worse lately, Astrid! I don't want Hiccup to snap at me next, he might send me back to the Dark Deep and you KNOW I hate going there alone!"

"Oh for Freyja's sake Snotlout, will you shut up and help me ensure Hiccup and Jack finally have some alone time together?”)

So it was the perfect set up. He wasn't busy, Toothless could take him anywhere (so could Jack, but there was something special about flying on dragon-back that Hiccup wanted to share with his intended) and Hiccup had scoped out the most perfect location to just sit back and enjoy themselves.

Of course, plans don't always survive first contact.

It was just his luck that there was a dragon that had made its home on the colder than average island Hiccup had been planning to take Jack to.

And what was worse, even Toothless made a valiant effort to ignore the wailing cries. Hiccup had tried to convince Jack that he'd get everyone to check it out tomorrow, but he'd been pinned with a rather harsh look from the winter spirit, who then promptly unwrapped his arms around Hiccup's waist and purposely fell from the saddle.

Which in turn led to this.

"Aren't you precious," Jack cooed uncharacteristically, cradling the newborn dragon in his arms, the snow dragon mewling back and further curling up in the spirit's arms.

Resigned, Hiccup took out his notebook and began taking notes about the dragon cub they'd found. It looked strikingly similar to Toothless, but it was colored like a glacier of ice, its scales looking like frost had made itself home on the dragon's body.

The wing-tips, tail, and extra fins at the start of the tail were sharper than a typical Night Fury, as well.

One of the reasons Hiccup even pegged it as similar to a Night Fury was due to the damning feline behavior it was currently showcasing to his beloved.

"Maybe you aren't the last of your kind after all, huh bud?" Hiccup caressed Toothless' scales, eliciting a warbling noise in response. Hiccup watched as Jack fawned over the Tiny Tooth, playing with its claws and nuzzling its scales in delight.

Jack was really good with children. Even dragon children, it seemed.

And that knowledge....it DID things, to Hiccup.

Jack just looked so soft when handling kids. He might've looked like a troublemaker to most, but Hiccup knew that underneath all that bratty exterior lay a kind and compassionate soul who loved children just as much as Hiccup loved dragons.

He didn't realize he'd stopped writing in his notebook until Toothless nudged him gently with a questioning grumble.

"Hics, there something you wanna say?" Jack teased, peeking at him slyly from behind a curtain of white hair. He'd evidently caught on to the fact that Hiccup had been dumbly staring at the spirit for more than a few moments.

But Hiccup was nothing if not quick on his feet. Foot. Foot and metal prosthetic.

"Oh, nothing much, just waiting on you," he replied, grabbing hold of Jack's waist and pulling him against his chest. Gently, of course, he didn't want to startle the little one. "You're quite taken on him."

"Her," Jack quietly corrected, seeing the dragon in his arms peek curiously at the Viking, but not having enough bravery to leave the spirit's arms. The little dragon burrowed further into Jack's arms once Toothless crawled closer to the couple, curious about the young dragon as well.

"Huh. You can tell?" Hiccup asked, leaning his head against Jack's tuft of white locks. He absolutely loved the height difference between them now that he'd grown into his age. Call it a small petty payback from when Jack used to use his own head as an armrest.

Besides, if he wasn't getting his ideal date, the least he could do was shower his Snowflake with affection.

Jack nodded, staring up at him fondly, knowing exactly what Hiccup was doing, and not giving him any malice from it. That was another thing Hiccup loved about Jack. He clearly loved jokes, played them all the time, and when the joke was turned on him, he was a good sport about it. As long as the joke didn't touch sensitive topics, Jack saw the humor in everything.

"Her kind's a part of my domain..." Jack said, leaning more into Hiccup's hold. "Ice and snow. I don't know how. I can just tell."

"So I see," Hiccup carefully held his free arm out to the dragon, letting it come to him. "Do you want to keep her?" They watched as the ice dragon slowly sniffed at Hiccup's hand, and began to warily nuzzle into it, trusting the human more and more once she saw that Hiccup would not hurt her.

"Can I?" Jack asked, chuckling as the dragon barked curiously at Toothless, fear and caution all but blown to the wind now. Toothless happily warbled and nosed his new friend, yelping when a tiny ice blast hit his face.

Hiccup shrugged. "Sure. What are you gonna name her, though?" There was certainly plenty of room on Dragon's Edge. And Jack was more of a free spirit who hung around Berk merely because his boyfriend lived there. It was never a question about space.

"Elsa," Jack said, smile on his lips. Hiccup recognized the look. It was one of Jack's secret smiles, one that said 'I find it funny, but I know none of you get it and I'm going to sit here basking in the irony of it all.'

It was one of Jack's most common looks. Hiccup knew why the look existed, but his friends and village did not. He had to admit though, it was pretty funny seeing his friends try and fail to figure out why Jack had that particular look about him at oddly specific points.

"Am I getting context or what?" Hiccup nudged Jack.

Jack laughed merrily. "Oh, its not anything big. Just a really, really infamous...story from back home."

Hiccup rose a skeptical eyebrow. "How infamous are we talking here?" It was always fun, gathering bits and pieces of where Jack came from, slowly piecing together a puzzle about Jack's background.

Jack had to turn away and bit his lips from laughing too hard. By this point the newly dubbed Elsa had jumped out of the spirit's arms and was playing with Toothless in some sort of contrived dragon game.

"I'll tell you about it...later," Jack decided, once he finally managed to get his laughter in check. He was clutching his staff tightly, another hand covering his mouth. Hiccup shrugged and opened up his notebook again, seeing as Toothless was inadvertently giving him more information about what Elsa's kind was like.

After a few minutes, Jack spoke up again. "Hiccs?"

Hiccup hummed in response, motioning for Jack to continue.

"I'm really sorry this date thing didn't go the way you were planning it to...I know you wanted it to be only about us."

Hiccup abruptly stopped writing and turned to look at Jack, who wasn't looking at him and hanging his head in shame.

"It's fine, Jack," Hiccup tried to reassure, but Jack made a frustrated noise and held up a hand.

"I'm going to stop you right there dragon boy. Let me finish." Jack rubbed his forehead. "I know how much effort you put into making sure nothing would distract us today, okay? You were busier than ever these past few days." He turned towards Hiccup, leaning against his staff once they were face-to-face.

"I mean...that is true," Hiccup agreed carefully. He'd never lie to Jack.

Jack laughed wryly. "I just had to go ruin that, didn't I?"

Hiccup's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Jack pointed his staff at the two dragons. "I couldn't ignore that, Hiccup. You've been looking forward to this date all week and I had to brush it all aside the moment I see a dragon."

Hiccup...gets it, he does, but it would be a bit hypocritical of him to truly be upset at Jack if it were the case. "You don't seem to mind when I do it," Hiccup says.

Jack rolled his eyes. "That's because those dates were all instigated by me, babe. And very impromptu. I fully expect you to veer off-course when there's a new dragon around, you fire-breathing nerd."

"I understand you're speaking words, but I don't understand what they mean," Hiccup snarked in reply.

"Don't be a jerk. Anyway, my dates are clearly spontaneous, very prone to distractions. I don't mind that. But I do feel bad when my boyfriend went through all the effort of planning our perfect little date, only to get detoured by a dragon who, by all accounts, isn't in danger or dying," Jack sighed and looked away.

He only looks back at Hiccup because the viking cups a hand around his cheek and turns the spirit's head towards him. "Look," Hiccup said. "I know I acted a little annoyed when you wanted to check this out, back then."

Jack grimaced but nodded.

"And I appreciate that you actually noticed, and I accept your apology, however long-winded the explanation may have taken for me to get it." Jack snorted at that.

"But," Hiccup lifted his other hand to cup Jack's other cheek. "In the long run, it doesn't matter. Jack, I love you. I love you a lot. And as long as you're with me, and I'm with you, I honestly don't care what we're doing. I just want to do it with you by my side. That's all I could really want."

"You big sap," Jack teased, warmth in his eyes. Frost dusted his cheeks, and the only reason Hiccup knew was because he was still holding Jack's face in his hands. "Are you going to kiss me, or what?"

"It was on the agenda," Hiccup cheekily replied, glad that the doubt and guilt plaguing his boyfriend's mind was finally clear.

Jack let himself get pulled in by Hiccup's arm, until they were pressed against each other. Jack circled his arms around Hiccup's neck, and leaned in.

A few meters away, Toothless began herding Elsa further from the two, knowing they would be fully occupied by each other for a while.

For a very long while.

The things he did for his human.

[A/N: Where’s the tag system why isn’t it here? Anyway thank you for the prompt! It was sitting in my inbox for a few days but I had some motivation today so I figured I could write this. It was supposed to be short, but...clearly my hands have other ideas. For the other prompts I received a while back, maybe send me an ask about it? Thanks.

Also, more notes about this HiJack AU:

-Jack’s definitely from the events of ROTG. He’s not ‘stuck’ in the era of vikings, per se, but he can definitely travel to and fro. Because reasons.

-Hiccup knows Jack’s from a distant future. He just doesn’t know what’s IN the distant future and doesn’t care much about it unless it directly relates to Jack.

-None of the others but Toothless knows about Jack’s situation. Jack’s a little shit that leads them on and has them guessing. Astrid has stopped trying to attack Jack about it when she realizes Hiccup knows what Jack is hiding. That’s apparently good enough for her to trust Jack.

-This happens roughly before the second movie. I mean, duh. But it happens after RTTE.

-If you don’t know what dragon I used, it’s called the Ice Fury, a fan-made dragon in the HTTYD fanon wiki. Takes a bit of searching to actually find it, but I found a good pic of what I imagine it to look like:

-just imagine a baby form of that, thanks.

-Yes I did indeed name her after Frozen’s Elsa. Fight me.

-I’m of the personal headcanon that not all Night Furies, subspecies or otherwise, are extinct. In this AU, they aren’t. They’re just a lot more south than the Vikings are used to. They’re rather north-bound, aren’t they?

-I honestly don’t know why I put so much thought into a one-shot that isn’t going to be continued in any way. If you want to take inspiration from this AU, go ahead, I don’t mind. Just be sure to credit the appropriate sources. Including me.