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#someone needs to tell me to stfu sometimes like
findingcrow · 1 year
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“Dog Days are Over (Florence + The Machine)” (aka “run fast for your mother fast for your father song) reminds me SO much of the rangers apprentice. I mean imagine, it’s the end of the book, Halt and Will are talking. They’re watching the sun on the verandah, and Gilan zooms by on Blaze, laughing and waving. Crowley is next, shaking his head but laughing too, trying to catch up with him. Maybe Horace is there too, with Evanlyn, motioning to Will for him to join them. Will looks at Halt, and Halt raises an eyebrow and nods at him. Will rushes to Tug and hops on him, running after the two, and Halt watches for a moment before getting on Abelard and catching up. All of this with Dog Days are Over in the background, or maybe Willow Tree March by The Paper Kites, or some The Oh Hello’s song. Like come on, that would be so cinematic and perfect and I would break down SOBBING and would not recover for DAYS
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A Ballad of Lost Souls
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Eric Draven (2024) X f!reader
Summary: what happens when two lost souls find each other? Cling to each other? Love could be a very dangerous drug indeed. You and Eric meet during rehab.
Warnings: explicit sexual content, minors dni, p in v, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, brief handjob, hair pulling, choking, size difference, size kink if you squint, bit of inexperienced!reader, Eric is actually a sweetheart, unhealthy coping mechanisms, mentions of substance abuse, addiction, mentions of suicidal thoughts, this movie is dark what do you want me to say
Reader has tattoos, but has no further specifications, y’all get to be tattooed girlies today, you’re welcome
WC: 5.7K I’m sorry
Inspo creds @kingkat12, she also posted an Eric fic with the same concept and some of the elements of this story like some of the dialogue bits were inspired after reading hers. Please give her some love! She’s a great writer
A/N: NOBODY LOOK AT ME. idc, I love Eric okay, stfu. I just had to write him. He just needs love man. That’s all. I want to give him love. So here you go. I might make a part two if there’s enough interest. When I tell you the Eric fic supply is LOW, I’ve never seen one so LACKING. So I just had to yk? Enjoy and don’t cancel me alright.
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You didn’t often dwell on the past. You had a live in the moment kind of mindset. You didn’t know where you’d be tomorrow so you made the best of the moment. But sometimes, you wondered just where your bad decisions were taking you. You didn’t mean to end up here, in this awful bubblegum pink sweater and sweatpants, surrounded by people who didn’t care why you were here, or if you got better or not. The disappointed words of your mother played in your head, and the angry words of your father hammered in the back of your head. You were a fucking disappointment, and that’s why you were here. 
You thought about ending it. This mess your life had become. It wouldn’t be too hard to find a razor around here if you truly tried. Who would miss you anyway? What even was the point of it all? By day two you couldn’t take this shit anymore. And then you saw him in the yard. You were almost entranced by him. He was so tall, he towered over everyone he walked past, you couldn’t imagine how ridiculous you would look standing next to him. You could see his ink cover his hands and fingers, and you wondered just how far the ink traveled. You were intrigued by him, he was quiet, morbidly so, he didn’t say a word to anyone, no matter how much they pressed or tossed him around, he just stared. Whether it was the doctors, the counselors, the guards. He always chose silence. And he always had this look of defiance, of apathy, he took everything with a locked jaw and deadpan eyes. And that intrigued you.
Should you try to entertain anyone in this facility, let alone the loner covered in tattoos? No, absolutely not. But lord, something about him drew you in. 
You caught glimpses of him for a few days, in the cafeteria when you walked past him to your table, maybe he thought you didn’t notice, but you caught him turning his head to watch you walk by. One time, your eyes met, they were a pretty shade of green. It was brief though, as soon as he realized you caught him, his eyes were in front of his plate, but not before you managed to flash him a tiny smile. Welcoming, playful. 
Eric remembered that. 
The next time you saw him was out in the yard. They encouraged exercise in this place, for some dumb reason. The most people did around here was stand in a corner, feeling completely miserable under the scorching sun. But much to your surprise, after some time walking around the yard you found Eric, lingering by the gym equipment. It wasn’t much, just a pull up bar and that was barely tall enough to accommodate him. No weights, of course, because someone could hurt themselves, or someone else with them. It wasn’t much, but you couldn’t help but watch as he pulled his sweatshirt over his head, revealing even more tattoos going up both of his arms. You stood in a corner like a fucking weirdo, watching as he did pull up’s, as best as he could having to bend his long legs to accommodate the short bar. Why were you just staring at this man you’ve never even spoken to? Of that you had no clue. But you couldn’t take your eyes away. He had his back to you, but even under the material of his white t-shirt you could see the muscles in his shoulders tense, his arms flexing with each pull. And you could only I magine the true sight of him. Sweat dripping down his forehead, lips pulled between his teeth as he did each pull. God, you felt like such a pervert. You shouldn’t be eye fucking him like this, but you couldn’t help it, something about him twisted the most secluded corners of your mind.
Ultimately your trance was cut short, since it didn’t take long for a group of guys to take interest in whatever Eric was doing and went straight to push him around some more. You frowned, almost upset by the sight of him getting tossed around and hazed like this. You couldn’t hear what was happening, but Eric had his head down, chest heavy as he clenched his fists at his sides, but he otherwise did nothing. You didn’t care, any fucks you still had to give were gone the moment your parents and your ex-boyfriend conspired to send you here. You were about to walk over there, not caring about what weird opposite sex rules this place had. But when you started walking, Eric did too, getting shoulder checked as he pushed his way past the group of guys. You felt awful, you wanted to say something to him, but you were frozen when he walked past you, his green eyes shooting a quick glance at you, a bit of curiosity laced in them. But you were more focused on how his shirt was clinging to his sweaty chest. And just like that he was gone.
The next time you saw him was during a group meeting that afternoon. You were almost disappointed at first when he didn’t show. You sulked into your seat for the first minute or two, upset you wouldn’t get to see him today again. And then you saw him. His expression as apathetic as ever, like he would rather get beat up than sit through this bullshit. His hair was soaking wet, small droplets of water still falling from the tips of his raven hair. Great, now the image of him in the shower was ingrained into your brain. As if you didn’t feel filthy enough.
You bit your lip softly, sitting up as he sat across from you, his expression blank with disinterest as his tattooed fingers played with the hem of his pink sweater. You weren’t paying attention either, you were more entertained by the way his long legs spread open as he slouched on his chair, taking as much space as possible. You thought about how nice it would be to sit on his lap. You glanced at his hands, they were huge. How easily he could grab a hold of your ass, or hold you still by your neck. How his long fingers would feel so deep inside you. You thought about how easily he was doing those pull ups, and you thought just how easily he could hold you down, throw you around to as he pleased with you. Truly, you would happily let him use you. You could feel heat rush to your face as you crossed your legs, trying your best to ignore the heat pooling between your legs. Why were you lusting so hard over him? You didn’t even know his name. 
Almost as if he could hear your pounding heart, Eric looked up to find your eyes lingering on him, one leg crossed over the other tightly. He tilted his head with curiosity, and his fingers twitched around his sweatshirt as your eyes met. He didn’t feel like looking away this time. The longer his hooded eyes were on you, the more nervous you became. You could feel your breath hitch in your chest as his eyes burned you. You only looked away when the counselor said your name, followed by stares. 
Shit, were you supposed to say something? 
You opened your mouth, immediately closing it as you had nothing to say. You didn’t even hear the question. You pursed your lips and shook your head lightly. The counselor sighed softly and looked to the girl beside you instead. It was common for most people here to refrain from speaking so he didn’t think too much about it. But when your eyes found Eric again, there was a small hint of amusement in his eyes, a ghost of a grin tugging at his plush lips. For the first time since you’ve been here, you saw something other than disinterest on his face. 
Perhaps he was just as drawn to you as you were to him. 
~~~
You pulled your lips into a disappointed pout as you searched around the cafeteria for his black mullet, not being able to find him. And here you thought today would be the day you finally spoke to him. You were about to sit at the nearest empty table when you found him. Even sitting down he stood out. You smiled to yourself, your heart pounding in your chest with anticipation. You looked around for guards, none were paying particular attention to you so you did it. 
He lifted his head slightly to glance at you, a quick second before his eyes were back on his plate. You saw the way his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. You smiled to yourself.
“I like your ink.” Were the first words out of your mouth. You said them in one breath, afraid he would get up and leave. His eyes lifted from his hands to meet yours, his eyes then fell to your own hands, one of them covered in distinct patterns and colors from your wrist up to your fingers. He wondered what else you were hiding under your sweater, like him.
“Hm.” He gave you a small nod, his plush lips pulled between his teeth in a way that had you clenching your thighs. “I like yours.” 
You smiled, the first genuine one since you’ve gotten here.
“I have more.” You whispered, leaning close to him, like it was some secret only for his ears to hear. His eyes flickered with amusement and he gave you another hum, his eyes now looking everywhere they could in hope of finding said secrets. 
“Me too.” His lips curved up the slightest bit as he lifted one of his sleeves up enough to reveal more tattoos going up his arm. Your eyes lit up as you excitedly leaned down closer with the excuse of getting a closer look. Your proximity was certainly way too close for this facility.
Leaning impossibly close to him without actually touching him, you looked up at him and with a playful smile you pulled down the collar of your sweatshirt to reveal more designs along your collarbone, the rest of the design hidden by your sweater as the colors continued down your shoulder. 
“But don’t tell anyone.” You chewed on your bottom lip, trying to hide your smile. He gave you what sounded like a chuckle and he shrugged.
“Who would I tell?” Though his face remained expressionless, his eyes had a glint that mimicked your eagerness, he welcomed your proximity. “Here he comes.”
You were confused by his words and you opened your mouth to question him as he sat back, his head lifting in the direction behind your head. 
“Males and females can’t sit together!” One of the guards, one you had noticed had a particular thing with Eric shouted, roughly grabbing the back of his chair to force him up on his feet.
“Huh? Wait, why are you taking him?” You talked back to the guard. “Hey, he didn’t do anything! I was the one that sat here. I—I’ll move. Don’t be such an asshole! Leave him alone!” You tried to help, even going as far as standing up but the guard was already taking the new owner of all of your attention away. Your heart sank as you watched the guard shout at him as he dragged him away.
He had managed to turn his head back for a second, and when your eyes met, he half smiled at you. He was almost proud of the fact that you tried to stand up for him. “I’m Eric!”
You smiled. 
~~~~~~
“Found you.” You skipped into Eric’s room, finally seeing his door open.
You hadn’t seen him since you got him in trouble at their cafeteria the day before. You got in some trouble too. You had a one on one meeting with a counselor about your choice of words and your “temper” but it was nothing more than just a slap on the wrist. Truly, you felt worse about getting Eric in trouble more than anything. You didn’t mean to, you just wanted to talk to him. He must have gotten punished because you didn’t see him during gym hour. You leaned against the doorframe as he turned around to find you. Curiosity filled his otherwise empty eyes, and a glint of amusement replaced the usual apathy in his gaze.
“I never left.” He answered with a shrug as he shuffled through the mess that was made of his artwork. Sketch papers were scattered all over his room, torn off the walls. Perhaps after getting in trouble during lunch they used that as an excuse to go through his room. 
“I’m sorry for getting you in trouble.” You expressed with genuine regret, shooting back a glance to the hallway before inviting yourself into his room. Much to the protest of the rational voice in your mind. You looked at the floor as you almost stepped on a piece of paper, you happily picked it up, admiring the black charcoal coating the page before you set it on his bed.
“Is that why you’re here? To apologize?” Eric asked almost cynically as he glanced over at you, not moving from where he stood.
“Well yeah. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.” You said sheepishly, a bit intimidated under his intense gaze. There was always a look of defiance in his green eyes, determination even. He gave you a sarcastic hum, which made you roll your eyes.
“Why did you yell at the guard? You got in trouble too, didn’t you?” He asked lowly, his head slightly tilted as he searched for that little thing you did around him, when you clenched your hands at your sides, or your thighs on your seat. His eyes irked with amusement when your fingers twitched at your sides and your lips parted open.
“‘Cause… You didn’t do anything wrong. You never do anything, or say anything. And everyone around here always pushes you around. It’s fucked up.” You answered quietly, daring to meet his eyes. He pulled his lips into a small pout and nodded slowly. His silence was always so nerve wracking to you.
“Yeah, so?”
You scrunched up your face, sighing heavily at his questioning. What did he what you to say? You didn’t know why you cared. You shrugged, picking up another piece of paper by your feet. You half glanced at it as you spoke.
“I dunno.. I just.. Oh my—” You cut yourself off as you gave the drawing in your hand a proper look. You narrowed your eyes, giving the drawing a closer look, and your jaw fell open. It looked like you, your hair falling over your face, dark scribbles covering your body symbolizing the unknown designs on your body, the only intelligible one being the patterns on your collarbone, the same one you had shown Eric. But what truly caught your eye was that you were in fact, completely nude. Truly, his imagination surprised you, he had imagined every curve of your body well, despite not having seen any part of it.
Based on your flustered expression, Eric could only assume which drawing you had picked up. He swallowed, his cheeks flushing pink being caught red handed. But he didn’t look apologetic, at all.
“This what you do in your spare time? Draw naked girls?” You asked with big eyes, the still working rational part of your mind screaming alarms, but a part of you also filled with excitement at his perverted mind. Almost as if you were on his mind as much as he was on yours.
He shook his head. “Just one.” He answered with a shrug, a challenging look in his eyes. 
Either you walked out right then and there, and that would be that, or you would go all in. He was trying to figure out which one it would be.
“You are very talented, this is—” You dragged your tongue over your lip as you walked closer to him, catching glances at his other artwork. Your heart pounded in your chest as you approached him, his gaze making you shudder. He said nothing as you stooped in front of him, now having to tilt his head down to meet your gaze. God this man was so goddamn tall. “You could totally sell this for some money.”
“But,” you continued, swallowing hard as you looked up at him, and the way his green eyes looked at you made your mind all fuzzy. God, you haven't felt this euphoric since you got here. This rush of adrenaline made you dizzy, but you pushed through it. “I see one flaw in your creativity.”
“Oh?” He bit down on his plush lip, head tilted with curiosity. You hummed and nodded, daring to bring your fingers up his chest. His breath hitched in his chest, but he said nothing.
“I fear you don’t have the full picture. My tattoos are more than just a scribble of ink.” You stated matter of factly, making him breathe out a small laugh.
“Sorry. I work with what I have.” He shrugged his shoulders, trying to ignore the feeling of your hands itching up his chest.
“Maybe I should give you more to work with?” Your hands found the back of his neck and you instinctively stood on the ends of your toes, itching to get closer to him.
Eric glanced down at you, his eyes lingering on your own for a split second before glancing at your parted lips, soft breaths escaping you as you anxiously waited. He didn’t have to think about it, he didn’t want to. His mouth was on yours so hard you whined. His large hand found your hair, tilting your head back to meet your lips better. 
You weren’t sure when you ended up against the nearest wall, your legs wrapped around Eric’s slim waist as he held you up. You were right, he could hold you up like you were nothing. Truly, the oversized clothes you were forced to wear didn’t do him any justice. You wondered what he was hiding under his sweatshirt.
His lips were messy on yours, his heavy breaths joining your soft whimpers. You were so caught up in the delicious feeling of his mouth claiming yours and his hands touching everywhere he could, you didn’t hear the loud voices of guards calling your name and patient number. Reality dawned on you when you heard shouting down the hall for everyone to get out of their rooms. You patted Eric’s shoulder, forcing your lips away from his. 
“Eric—Eric.” You said his name with urgency, making him look at you, eyes filled with greed as he chased your lips. “I have to go. I don’t want to get you in trouble again.” 
He nodded after a second, setting you down on your feet after pressing one last kiss to your lips. You had a stupid smile on your face as you successfully sneaked out his room, the guards being distracted as they probably ransacked some poor bastard's room like they had done Eric’s. You glanced behind you as you hurried down the hall, catching a glimpse of Eric peeking his head through his door. He smiled. And it made your heart race.
You could not wait to see him again.
~~~~~~
“Eric!—” You slapped your hand over your mouth, attempting to quiet the desperate sounds leaving your mouth. But the way his tongue lapped at your sensitive clit and his long fingers rubbed against that one spot within your walls that had you squirming.
You didn’t mean to end up in this position, ass naked on top of one of the washing machines in the laundry room, with Eric on his knees and his face between your thighs. Truly you didn’t, you knew you would be in a lot of fucking trouble if you got caught. But the way his lips claimed yours, his tongue lacing with yours, his large hands grabbing at every part of your body like he didn’t know which one he craved to touch more. He just wanted you so fucking bad, your kisses and little rubbing here and there for the past few days wasn’t enough for him, or for you.
“I wanted to taste you so fucking bad.” He muttered against your clit, a groan rumbling in his throat when you pulled at the hairs on the back of his head, inadvertently holding his face closer against you. Not that he minded, he would stay here, with his fingers scissoring you open until you dripped on the surface underneath you. 
“Please—fuck. That feels so good.” You didn’t remember the last time someone made you feel this good. Not that you had much experience in this area, but this sure felt right.
Eric wrapped his free hand under your thigh, pulling you to the edge, closer to his mouth. He lapped at your pussy like he needed it, like it was the air in his lungs. The sounds leaving his mouth as your juices seeped around his fingers were almost as filthy as yours. 
You felt like such a slut, chasing his mouth with your hips, heaving like a bitch in heat, and quietly begging him to grant you your release, as quiet as you could be with his fingers so deep and his tongue drawing delicious circles around your clit. 
“Just like that baby… Just like that.” Eric mumbled, his fingers slipping and crooking against that perfect spot. 
Your release was so sudden, and it hit you so hard you were shaking, sobbing violently into your hand. Your head was thrown back, eyes rolled into the back of your head. Eric dug his fingers into your thigh, his tongue slipping into your hole when his fingers left you. 
“Shit—Eric—” You gasped, your thighs shaking as you weakly reached to grab his face. 
With a grunt he peeled himself from the warmth of your thighs, he stood to his full height before leaning down to capture your lips. The taste of yourself lingering on his tongue made you moan. Disoriented, you reached down to rub where his cock was straining against his sweatpants. He groaned into your mouth, his large hand flew to catch your wrist.
“It’s okay.” He gave your lips a soft kiss as he pulled your hand away. You gave him an adorable frown, your mind still spinning from your orgasm. 
“But you—” He pressed another kiss to your lips, shutting you up. He moved his lips to your neck, latching on to that one spot that had you whining. Neither of you cared if everyone saw the mark he left. 
“We’ll have time for that.” He mumbled against your skin. The way he slurred the words made your breath hitch. “Right?”
He pulled back to meet your eyes, blinking slowly as he waited for your response. You licked your lips softly, breath soft as you thought, how could he still question it. You were past the lusting. This was something else. You needed more of him, and it wasn't just sex you were craving. You wanted every part of him, even the parts of himself he didn’t want.
“Of course.. This isn’t.. Can’t you tell? What you do to me. I’ve never..” You couldn’t even form the right words, your mind still fuzzy with all these feelings you had no name for. You didn’t need to explain. Whatever it was, Eric felt the same. And he smiled, he genuinely smiled. And what a pretty sight that was.
“We should go.” He pressed his lips to the side of your head, smoothing down your hair and fixing your sweater. “Can you stand?”
You half nodded, gasping when he set you down on your feet and you instantly leaned on him for support. The sly smile on his face made you want to slap him. But deep down, you wanted to smile too.
~~~~~
The next time you saw Eric, he was walking down the hallway, his tall frame towering over the majority of people he walked past. He wasn’t hard to find. You bit your lip, unable to contain your excitement as you hurried after him. Your fingers brushed his, and almost as if he knew your touch by heart, he wasn’t startled, he didn’t flinch either. When he turned his head, his eyes grew big at the sight of you, the corners of his lips curving into a tiny smile. You flashed him a whole smile, unapologetic about how happy it made you to see him. Your obsession with him over the past two weeks wasn’t something you could explain, you knew it probably wasn’t healthy. But when were you ever known for having healthy coping mechanisms? You found something that filled you and you clung to it.
“Where are you going?” You asked him quietly as you walked beside him. He walked slower, but didn’t look at you much, as not to bring unwanted attention to yourselves.
“Laundry room.” He said quietly, his eyes dropping to meet yours. And you shared that knowing and malicious look. You couldn’t hide the smile on your lips. This time of day usually meant you could sneak off for a little while since most patients were having their once a week visitor, or phone call, which meant less guards were in every corner.
“I’m supposed to be out in two weeks.” You told Eric in between kisses, his lips trailed your jaw as his hands grabbed at your ass. 
“I’m out in four.” He answered as he pressed you against the nearest wall. He grabbed your face between his large hands, pulling you to meet his eager mouth. You whined, fists clenched around the front of his sweatshirt. You couldn’t go two weeks without seeing him, you would go fucking mad.
“I don’t want to wait a month to be with you.” You breathed out, your chest heavy as the words left your mouth. “I’m supposed to go back to my parents when I get out. They agreed to take me in to follow my treatment, but I don’t want to go. They’re the ones that put me here.” 
“I don’t have anywhere to go.” You barely heard him as he spoke, almost as if the words pained him, broke something deep inside him. It broke something in you, too.
“You can come with me. I have a little place and some money saved. It’s not much but.. If you want.. We could.. We could try something for real?” You trailed off, afraid he would reject you. It was one thing to mess around in here, where neither of you had anything else, anyone else to cling to, but this being anything other than a desperate bond by two lost souls was a different story. Outside of these walls, he could find anyone else, he didn’t have to keep the broken girl he fingered in a shitty laundry room.
“I would like that. I would like something real, with you.” His words were soft, as were his hands holding your face as he pressed his forehead against yours. You breathed out a laugh of relief. “Fuck this place. We’ll do it tomorrow, during shift change. There’s a vent up here that leads to the yard.”
You pulled him down by his sweatshirt, your lips crashing against his. He laced his fingers in your hair as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You welcomed it, lips parting as you locked your arms around his neck. 
“Eric.” You said his name softly in a quiet plea. He opened his eyes to find your desperate gaze. He told himself he wanted to be better, he knew you deserved better, but when you said his name like that, when you looked at him like that. He was no better. “I don’t think I can wait anymore. Please, I… I need…”
“Need what?” His words were coated with arousal, he knew fucking well what you meant. But he wanted to hear you say it.
“Fuck—” You kissed his lips roughly, any sanity and restraint you might’ve once had, completely. You can’t trust an addict to have good self-control, now could you? “Take me. I’m yours, just take me.”
“Fuck.” Now it was his turn to lose his sanity. He gave your lips one last kiss as he squeezed your cheeks between his fingers, licking your lips before he spun you around to face the wall. “You’re a sweet girl, don’t forget that. I swear I will fuck you properly on a bed, with flowers and shit.” 
His words were rough in your ear as he pressed his lips to your jaw, his hands making quick work of pulling down your sweatpants and panties. They pooled around your ankles as he kicked your legs open as far as they went.
“I like carnations.” You gasped as the cool air hit your exposed cunt. You heard him chuckle beside your ear.
“Those are pretty. They’re pretty like you.” He hummed as he brought two fingers up to your lips. You happily took them in your mouth. Eric almost moaned at the sight. One of these days he needed to have you sucking his cock. One of these days. 
Eric pulled his fingers from your lips and with a kiss to the back of your head, he sunk his coated fingers into your hole. Your mouth fell open, your forehead falling against the wall. You were instantly chasing his fingers, soft whimpers leaving your lips as you happily rode them. You didn’t know how he did it, how he could have you dripping around his fingers in a matter of a minute or two. You were clawing at the wall, silent moans spilling from you when he pulled his fingers from you. He watched almost proudly as your slick coated your thighs. 
“Can I take this off?” He asked quietly, tugging at the hem of your sweater. You made a humming sound, as best as you could. As if he needed to ask. Eric was happy to rid you of your sweater, more happy to find more hidden tattoos going all over both of your arms. He craved to find every single one of your tattoos, and kiss every one. But he knew it would be best to be quick.
His own sweatshirt met the same fate, and with a kiss to your cheek, he grabbed one of your hips as he pulled down his sweats enough to free his cock. A groan left his lips as he dragged his cock between your folds, coating himself in your slick. You gasped, not being able to see him, but already knowing he was big. 
“Let me know if it hurts, hm? I’ll take it easy, I promise.” He pressed his lips to your jaw, inhaling your sweet scent as he slowly sank himself into you. Only his tip was in and you could already feel the sting of his cock stretching you wide open.
“Fuck. Fuck, oh my god—” You squeezed your eyes shut, fingers clenching around nothing as he slowly filled your further, inch by inch.
“It’s okay. You want me to stop?” He asked, shushing you softly as he sat still, allowing you to adjust to the burning feeling of his size. Fuck, you should have known someone as tall as him would be this big. Somehow, it didn’t occur to you.
“No. ‘m okay. Keep going.” You reached behind you to touch him, your fingers gracing over the side of his face. He nodded into your neck, one of his hands sneaking to the front of you to play with your clit to ease you as he sank into you until his hips rutted against your ass. He sat still, speaking filthy words into your ear until you were whimpering, needing to feel more. “Eric, please.”
You didn’t need to tell him twice. His pace was slow at first, slow strokes that allowed you to revel in the feeling of his cock in and out of your walls. But as you both began to grow desperate, pathetic sounds leaving your lips and groans of pleasure leaving him, his pace picked up. It was grueling, how he fucked you against that wall. You braced yourself with one hand, the other holding his face behind you as he leaned his head to capture your parted lips into a messy kiss. He swallowed your sweet sounds as the sting of his cock had you squeezing the life out of him.
“Fuck, I have been dreaming about this since I saw you. You always looked so pretty when you looked at me.” He whispered in your ear, his hand wrapping around your hair as he forced your head back, exposing your neck. You cried out, his roughness making you clench around him. He cursed, covering your mouth with his large hand. “I need you to keep it down for me, baby. You don’t want us to get caught, do you?” 
You shook your head, doing your best to contain the sounds he was pulling from you. His hand slowly left your mouth, trusting you could keep your sounds to a minimum. You bit down on your lip, eyes squeezed shut as his cock split you open. You swore you had never been this utterly fucked out, so cock drunk before. You had never needed anyone so badly. You had never felt so strongly about anyone. You had always found something to cling to, pain, tattoos, in your more miserable and recent years—drugs, and now him. But him? This feeling he gave you, it was like nothing you had ever felt before. You wanted to hold on to him until your final breath of air left your lungs.
“I wanted this—you—so fucking bad. I needed to have you.” Eric grunted, lips latching on to that spot on your neck where the previous hickey he had left was starting to fade. “I’m so crazy about you, no amount of rehab could fix me.” 
You moaned at his words, letting them sink in. He was down so bad for you, probably as much as you were. Two addicts, seeking refuge in each other, craving this adrenaline, it was a kick you had never felt before. It was a kick only lust and passion could bring. And he ignited that deep within your soul. 
“Me too.” You panted, lips parting in ecstasy as one of his tattooed hands loosely wrapped around your throat. Fuck, the way his whole hand covered your entire neck made you gush all over his cock. “I’ve never wanted anyone this bad. You—ah!—I need you all the fucking time.”
“Then you can have me,” His fingers squeezed your throat tighter, his thick cock so deep you swore you could feel him in your fucking cervix. “All the fucking time. Forever.” 
Tears filled your ears as you could feel your release near, your thighs shuddering as you felt your legs start to give out. Eric was quick to press you further against the wall, his back flush against your chest, sweaty forehead pressed against your cheek as his cock rutted against you, over and over, until you were chanting a string of uh-uh-uh’s, your mind too overcome with the pleasure he was giving you to even speak. 
“I want you to come on my cock so fucking bad. I need it.” Groans fell freely from his chest as he once again slipped a hand to your swollen clit. The pressure of his rough fingers made you gasp, your throat closing under his grip. Your release hit you so hard you were sobbing, though mostly muffled by his tight grip. Tears fell down your cheek as your orgasm left you a shaking mess. You had never felt this way before—so overcome with pleasure you cried.
“Shh, it’s okay baby. Good girl.” The hand on your throat left to wipe at your tears, soothing you as you came crashing down. 
Eric fucked you through your release, frantically chasing his own. His name left your lips with praise, sobs of your remnant pleasure as he pushed you to the point of overstimulation. But it wasn’t until he felt his own release near that he pulled out of you. Without saying a word, he grabbed one of your hands and wrapped it around his thick cock, his own hand guiding yours up and down his slick length, sweet praises leaving his lips until he was spilling himself. 
Heavy breaths and pants of exhaustion filled the small laundry room, the air smelled like sex, and the remnants of your forbidden times were left as evidence. Eric eventually spun you around to face him, a soft smile on his lips. You had only ever seen it once, after he ate you out days ago. It was rare to see Eric smile, but you made it a vow to yourself that you would always make him smile like this.
“How fucked up are we? Finding comfort in each other like this. Did it ever cross your mind?” You said softly as Eric helped you dress. He was bending down to grab your sweater and he stood up to his full height, towering over you, and his eyes were laced with an indescribable feeling.
“When I first saw you, I didn’t know what it was, but I was so drawn to you, I looked for you everyday, and I thought I would go mad if I didn’t have you. And right now, I can tell you it’s not just lust. I’m entranced by you, I need you all the time. And if there’s one thing I learned from this fucking place is that you have to latch on to something, otherwise you’ll drown.” 
You were speechless, nothing but your soft breaths could be heard. A smile fell on your lips and you leaned into his chest. Eric sighed softly, wrapping his arms around you, holding you close to his chest, he’d be damn if he ever let you go anywhere but here.
“Addicts will be addicts, no matter how much they try to fix us. But it’s not always to drugs we’re addicted to.” You sighed softly, closing your eyes as you sank into the feeling of his arms. “This feeling? I never want it to stop.”
“It doesn’t have to.” He mumbled into your hair, in his head reminding himself of your limited time, but he refused to let you go just yet. “Forever, right?”
“Yeah, forever.”
963 notes · View notes
2knightt · 4 months
Note
may u do the gang with a significant other who is in a popular band or actor? up to four preference of course. lots of love!
୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫ darling, can i be your favourite? ⋄ 𓍯
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REQUESTED: reader’s the coolest person ever and the gang’s their biggest fan!
tags/warnings: headcanons, gn!reader, reader is a singer/popstar!reader, gang is obsessed, reader is big time famous, near the end they got shorter because my tumblr started lagging.
ೃauthor notes⁀➷ hey my love !!! seen this after i posted and knew i had to get to work 🙂‍↕️ also while i was working on this, i got a req for actor!reader..ur in luck🤭
johnny cade
╰┈➤ now playing. — espresso, y/n l/n
how he bagged you, the world may never know. like seriously.
YOU’RE ON THE BIG SCREEN AND YOU’RE IN THE RADIO AND YOU GO AFTER JOHNNY CADE??? everyone was shocked. lives were CHANGED.
“you’re dating who?”
“..y/n l/n?”
“in your dreams maybe???”
“fuck you?”
nobody believed him because you confessed to him over the phone when you were touring 😔! you realized you really liked johnny when you had to be away from him for so long.
so for like that period of time, it was just call after call of you two giggling back and forth.
the gang, swear to fucking god, knew he was talking to someone but they thought he was lying about who he was talking to
UNTIL YOU CAME BACK!!!!
Then they were all,
“what the fuck….”
“can i like—borrow a 20?”
“DAMN”
spoil him. take him with you. protect johnny cade with ur money or else. i find you.
but seriously, pleaseeee make sure johnny lives the life he deserves ☹️ since you’re a singer, you make a FUCK ton of money
put it to good use (spending it on johnny cade)
hey! you’re all he talks about!! HE DOESN’T STFU THAT HE’S DATING SOMEONE THAT’S FAMOUS.
“what ‘bout you, lil’ boy? you got someone?”
“hell yeah. y/n l/n.😇💯”
“..the singer?”
“damn right, ‘the singer’!”
listens to your music when he misses you!!
OH MU GOD WRITE A SONG ABOUT JOHNNY CADE PLEASEEEE AND WEAR HIS JEAN JACKRT ON STAGE PLEASEEEEEEE
i can’t stress how much he loves you
he has photos of you everywhere. and anywhere.
steals magazines you model for to promote your albums<3
dallas winston
╰┈➤ now playing — nonsense, y/n l/n.
why would you pick him.
shame on you. you have celebrities flocking to you and you pick some guy in tulsa who’s in jail every friday.
tsk tsk. whatever makes you happy!
ANYWAYS
also, never shuts the fuck up about you. like seriously, somehow, you’re always the topic of conversation.
“yeah, that’s crazy that she slashed your tires. my LOVELY Y/N would never tho. did you know they sing? you’ve probably heard of ‘em-“
MAKES YOU WEAR HIS RINGS WHEN YOU PERFORM!!! AND SOMETIMES HIS LEATHER JACKET!!! DALLAS DGAF IF IT’S DIRTY OR NOT
He needs those freaks in the crowd to know you’re HIS—not theirs just because you’re famous.
if you ever collab with a dude he’s gonna fucking lose his mind i’m not kidding
“YOU’RE GOING TO THE STUDIO WITH WHO???”
“i told you-“
“yeah, i know. lets go.”
dallas invited himself btw.
dedicate a song to him and he’s literally gonna make EVERYONE listen to it. when it comes on the radio, he’s IMMEDIATELY turning up the volume.
“looking at you got me thinkin’ nonsense.”
“that’s about me, by the way.”
“WE KNOW.”
“YOU TELL US THIS EVERY DAMN DAY”
“yeah. where’s your partner that write songs about you? huh? take that shit up with someone else.”
IN HIS ROOM HE HAS SOOO MANY POSTERS OF YOUUUUUU
cannot believe he got so lucky and bagged you
he used to pray for days like these😭😭🙏
ponyboy curtis
╰┈➤ now playing — work song, y/n l/n.
yes, i did make your song more poetic than the rest. that’s just what ponyboy is into and gets him crying.
did he get lucky? yeah. does he acknowledge that every waking moment of his life and devotes himself to making sure you never feel the burden of having to perform daily?
yeah
helps you write songs sometimes. ponyboy naturally has a poets soul so USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
GUVE HIM A FUCKING OEN AND PAPER AND HE’S WRITING A HIT SINGLE
omgomg if you credit him while at your concerts he might faint<3333
spoil him and his brothers.
his brothers are included because you see how much they’re struggling and it literally pains you to see the love of ur life get so frustrated over money
sneakily put money into darry’s wallet when he isn��t looking and ponyboy might just kiss u right then and there
it’ll take awhile for him to accept the help, but when he does—he’s so grateful to have an angel like u in his life😭😭💔💔💔
“i love you. did you know that?”
“of course i do, pony.”
“i should tell you that more often.”
uses a photo of you as a bookmark btw. it’s you in his favourite outfit you ever wore, performing the song you made for him.
ponyboy’s obsessed.
shoves ANYONE off the tv to watch you perform. he doesn’t care. and the gang lets him<3 cuz they know how much you mean to their little pony!!
not without teasing. never without teasing. ponyboy is never fucking free
“soda, it’s my turn on the tv.”
“what? you tryna watch your girlfriend?”
“…shut up.”
“look at you! what a loverboy, huh? you loveeeee her, don’t you?”
“man, just get off the tv!”
watches & listens to everything you’re in. wether it be interviews, music videos, etc—he can probably quote it. every part.
he’s so obsessed with you it’s not fucking funny
sodapop curtis
╰┈➤ now playing — that boy is mine, y/n l/n.
it couple. genuinely.
you got soda more publicity and modeling agencies have definitely hit him up LMFAO
he most definitely has modelled with you for covers :3c
BUT OTHER THAN THAT
oh u better fucking believe that the DX is always playing your music
SODA DOESNT CARE IF HE’S NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH THE RADIO
he will. and he will be playing the song you made about him to remind the girls that go to flirt with him that he’s yours.
HE HAS A NECKLACE WITH YOUR INITAL ON IT AND YOU HAVE A NECKLACE WITH HIS INITAL!!1!1!1!1!1
flash it when paparazzi takes photos and he WILL put that photo in his wallet to show people when they ask about his partner.
CANT STFU EVEN IF HE FUCKING TRIED
soda makes u his whole personality
“sigh😔 y/n would’ve loved this beat..”
“SHUT UP ABOUT Y/N😒”
“NO?? I LOVE THEM!!!???”
LOVES PRACTICING UR CHOREOGRAPHY WITH YOU LMFAOOO
it’s so cute☹️☹️😔😔 soda might trip over his feet every once and awhile but he’s always laughing so hard with you when he does<3
darry curtis
╰┈➤ now playing — say yes to heaven, y/n l/n.
tries SOOOO hard to act like he doesn’t gaf that you’re singer but it’s so tough to not brag about it
the boys at work could be talking about their partners but when they go ask darry, he hides his grin and blush by looking down, running his hands through his hair.
“what ‘boutchu, kid? how’s the lover?”
“ah, y’know. they’re busy touring or in the studio.”
“eh?”
“oh—y/n l/n. they’re-“
darry cannot be stopped now. he won’t shut up about how great of a person you are, never letting the fame get to you.
ERAHHH HE STAYS UP LATE AT NIGHT TO WATCH YOUR PERFORMANCES WHEN YOU’RE AWAY!!!!!!! HE LOVES WATCHING YOU SWAY ACROSS THE STAGE!!
hehehehehe slow dance with him in the kitchen to ur unreleased songs you made about him…. 😈😈
PLEAEE HELP HIM FINANCIALLY PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
im begging you to just sit darry curtis down and try to convince him that, you giving him money to help around, isn’t an issue.
i don’t see darry moving out of the curtis house unfortunately, i think he will always view it as his parents house and it’s too sentimental.
so, don’t even bother asking him to move. but—do give him money. or sneakily pay the bills. whatever you have to do to help darry relax, please do it!!!
loves it when you sing slower/more relaxing songs
darry thinks it’s so attractive to hear your like soothing, breathy, and smooth voice.
he has a photo framed of you bowing toward the crowd below you, tightly holding the microphone that you had his name engraved in.
it’s currently beside his bed on his nightstand.
he looks at it every night before bed and every morning before work. <3
steve randle
╰┈➤ now playing — art deco, y/n l/n.
he’s feral. he’s fucking crazy about you.
“PUT ON THAT NEW Y/N SHIT‼️”
“why??”
“CAUSE I SAID SO?!1”
number one supporter. nobody comes close to him
AHHHH HE HAS A TATTOO DEDICATED TO YOU!!!! IT’S DEFINITELY A SONG LYRIC YOU WROTE ABOUT HIM IN UR HAND WRITING
when steve’s nervous he traces over it :3c
steve always finds himself, unconsciously, humming your songs while he works on cars!
i like to think his favourite colour is blue, so plsplsplspls wear blue (even if it’s a small accessory) to your concerts just so steve knows you’re always thinking about him.
he keeps little gifts, or rather the accessories you leave at his house, in a little box. he thinks they’re so cute and he will burn a building down before he lets anyone find out
two-bit mathews
╰┈➤ now playing — melting, y/n l/n.
“DID YOU KNOW I’M DATING Y/N? THE FAMOUS SINGER? YEAH, BET YOU WISH THAT WAS YOU😭😂!”
that’s every other sentence from his stupid lips!!
KNOWS EVERY LYRIC TO YOUR SONGS AND WILL SCREAM HIS FUCKING LUNGS OUT TO THEM!!!
attach a mickey charm to ur mic while you sing on stage and he’ll start foaming at the mouth..
two-bit’s all, “that’s for me.:mickey….me….me…mickey….”
he literally begs you to sing him to sleep
STEALS YOUR RECORDS/VINYLS???!!! HE HANGS THEM UP ON HIS WALL WITH SUCH CARE IT’S SO ADORABLE ☹️☹️
teach his little sister some of your dance moves and he might marry you tbh.
two-bit dreams of you and i’m so fucking serious
264 notes · View notes
sl0t4matt · 5 months
Text
l. yamal bf! headcanons (requested)
i didn’t know what to write abt this one he’s so younggg, but for the person requesting, i hope i did okay :))
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❀bf! lamine, that has loved you ever since you were little.
❀bf! lamine, that would talk shit with you about the referee’s and rival players, complaining as to why they would play so unfairly and the refs that have obviously been bought.
❀bf! lamine, that you were so proud of when he got his debut for the first team since it always has been his dream to become one of the barcelona legends.
❀bf! lamine, that you can completely be yourself with because he always matches your energy.
❀bf! lamine, that always puts you in his tiktok dumps wether it being a cute picture of you or one of the both of you. he always wants to show you off.
❀bf! lamine, that is a big romantic and takes you to cute but also thoughtful dates, like the picnic you both did.
❀bf! lamine, that loves to annoy the shit out of you, it being his way of flirting.
❀bf! lamine, who (when at schoo) would yap with to you about literally anything instead of doing his work, mostly talking about the most ridiculous topics like how he thinks that “people who squint are cringey af”. but you’re not exactly better. people would call the two of you the yapping duo, as dumb as it sounds, it was true. the both of you never seem to shut up, getting glares from anyone that would listen to you.
❀bf! lamine that would send you pictures of messi and his wife writing next to them: “us”.
❀bf! lamine that only reply’s to haters comments when it’s about you. he’s fine if someone has something against him but when it’s about you that crosses the line. he would hate to see worrying about dumb, jealous people. “she doesn’t even look that good.” “stfu.”
❀bf! lamine, who gets yelled at by xavi because he keeps texting you.
❀bf! lamine, that sends you pictures of the sunset because you love of them so much.
❀bf! lamine, that complaints about how you always take his hoodies, but secretly loves it because when you give them back they smell like you.
❀bf! lamine, that hates it when you call him bro (you do it on purpose to provoke him)
❀bf! lamine, that remembers everything about you. “i remember you said you liked this, so i got it for you”
❀bf! lamine, that can’t help but blush when you do such simple things like complimenting him. “you look so cute in that pink hoodie.” “stop, oh my god.”
❀bf! lamine, that won’t let you pay whenever you’re with him. “why did you even bring your wallet, i’m gonna pay anyways.”
❀bf! lamine, that calls you whenever he’s in another country because of a game.
❀bf! lamine, who’s comments are down baddd whenever you post something. “you look so good, can you tell me to kms🙏🏼” “bro i want you so bad, what do you want me to do, i will do anything for you.” “someone take my phone away🫣” sometimes you can’t even tell wether he’s joking or not.
❀bf! lamine, that is soo clingy with you, always feeling the need to hold your hand, somehow wanting to show his love for you.
❀bf! lamine, that secretly loves the edits you send of him. they do make him look good, you got to admit.
286 notes · View notes
jaegerisim · 1 year
Text
Vent post y'all are gonna hate me for.
I viscerally hate how the Duffers treat most of their non white or queer characters and I hate even more viscerally, how y'all big byler blogs in your circle jerk of other 5 big byler blogs casually like to ignore many red flags the show has.
Y'all like to say: "tHe DufFeRs ArE gReAt WrIteRs" and it's like girl, who are you lying to??? They aren't top shit writers at all. The Duffers are pretty mid imo. Yeah, they run a good show that's fun to watch and theorize abt , but that doesn't mean they're good writers cuz they're not.
1. they completely side lined Will during s3 for the sake of their straight romances: lumax, jancy, mlvn, duzie and partly stobin (even if stobin wasn't endgame, thankfully, Steve's intentions were clearly wanting to date Robin and they gave it a lot of screen time). Will was sidelined bc he didn't fit the straight romance plotline bc they planned to make him gay or whatever. Now in s4 Will and his feelings have been used as mlvn toilet paper. Yes, we like to say this is build up for byler but canonically, Will's feelings have been used to clean the shit mlvn leaves behind.
2. Billy was sympathized a lot during the last 2 seasons. They gave him the sad backstoryTM in order for ppl to feel sorry for him. Billy's backstory is literally Jonathan's but whatever.
3. El's anger issues are constantly girlboss-ified. They down play her bullying situation and literally just use it for El to be a ''girlboss" without realizing how triggering that is. As someone who has lived bullying, seeing it be ignored by canon and fanon is super sad. The whole Rink-O' Mania experience must have been so traumatizing for her yet, everyone absolutely forgets abt it 🤷🏻‍♀️
4. Robin, Erica and Argyle are stereotypical characters. Robin is the quirky lesbian with social anxiety, Erica is the badass black woman and Argyle is the Latino stoner that sells weed to white kids and works as a pizza delivery guy.
5. Altho Argyle and Eddie both do drugs, (Eddie actually sells K-12 to a minor and nobody batted an eye. He has a huge fan base). Eddie is held in a pedestal bc "poor thing 🥺 he lives in a trailer with his uncle 🥺". Tell me a single fact you know abt Argyle that isn't "he smokes weed", "he is Jonathan's only friend", "drives a van" and "he works at a pizzeria". Exactly, Eddie is given a useless backstory and Argyle isn't.
6. Dustin stopped being important to the plot sometime around s2 and s3. He is only there to curse and be mildly funny. My guy needs to hangout with ppl his age cuz he only hangs out with seniors.
7. El needs to stop having so much "I'M THAT BITCH" screentime like I need in s5 for El's arc to not just be her becoming more powerful and falling in love with Mike. I need the Duffers to explore her trauma and problems.
8. Angela should have been run over by the van.
9. Patrick should have been given a backstory that isn't the basic "strict black parents that hit their kids cuz they are a disgrace". Patrick's backstory is actually racist af, fight w the wall.
10. As Lex already said, they didn't trigger tag the ep where Jason and his friends assault Lucas and Erica. Like wtf? Why was that necessary? Why did I have to see a black boy being held at gunpoint by some white guy?? Was it relevant to the plot?? I don't think so. And then I've got to see ppl online be like "Jason wasn't that bad. He was just mourning" like bitch you can stfu. This is what happens when you make the racist assholes conventionally attractive.
Also the fact that Lucas's arc is fulfilled by him fist-fighting Jason and "embracing his weirdness" aka accepting he is black. His arc was not fulfilled at all cuz that ending spoke so loud to me. It showed how little empathy ppl have towards the struggles poc ppl living in the Midwest have. Y'all circle jerks can only see racism when it's super obvious.
Furthermore, parents complained when ST showed "an excessive amount of smoking" yet nobody batted an eye when Billy tried to run over Lucas, when Erica (an 11 y.o ffs) was chased by white kids or when Lucas was held at gunpoint by Jason.
All of this happened while they focused on Max's guilt and mourning that, yeah, are important but certainly not less important than racism!!!
11. In s3, they gave us that whole Nancy vs The Bigots arc that was honestly just triggering and useless. It didn't help Nancy's character at all, quite the opposite it put unnecessary angst.
12. Lonnie being presented as an abuser just for him to never be spoken of again. Can we please get to explore the trauma he left the Byers's with?
13. The fact that both queer relationships are considered "sloppy seconds" is extremely sad. Both Vickie and Mike are rebounding from their failed relationship with Robin and Will. These 2 ships have caused more commotion than Jancy and Jopper together! (These last ships are technically sloppy seconds too but everybody forgets that. Shocker!!)
14. Last but not least, ppl blame Argyle for being the one to get Jonathan into smoking weed as if Jonathan probably wasn't the one looking for it. Let me tell you, that you only find weed if you look for it.
661 notes · View notes
sweetzscore · 6 months
Text
What if I fakeposted about my ocs. What then
-24 notes
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🛸 ang3l-baby follow
Me: [after talking about aliens n space for 3 hours] I dunno I just think they’re kinda neat
🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow
Your record is actually four hours
🛸 ang3l-baby
Sometimes I just black out and talk about doctor who a lot too
32 notes
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💣 emooooeeeekid follow
Ive had girlfriends before which is really weird because I am the most idiotic loser ever. Bitch what do you see in me
🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow
This is true you are very much a loser
🎬 samthehotdog follow
I second this
💣 emooooeeeekid
Listen here you little shits
128 notes
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🎬 samthehotdog follow
I’m very publicly intersex and my favourite thing about this is that I am a high schooler and my classmates get rlly confused all the time and its so funny
🎬 samthehotdog
I like to ask them why they’re so interested in my dick (or lack thereof) and they usually just combust or something
💣 emooooeeeekid follow
high schoolers are very invasive an insensitive so I like to give them the funniest answers possible
I once told a kid that when I was born they asked me if I wanted a dick or a vag and I couldn’t decide so they gave me one of those multicolour pens where you click down the things to get the new colour
🎬 samthehotdog
That. Is the best thing I have ever heard
241 notes
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🍊 bowser-jrjrjrjr follow
Theres so many fucking fags at my school I hate this stupid place
🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow
What are you doing on this website
🍊 bowser-jrjrjrjr
Stfu tranny
🛸 ang3l-baby follow
I go to OP’s school and I can confirm he is very stupid and mean and nobody with any sense actually likes him
🎬 samthehotdog follow
Lmaooo
339 notes
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💣 emooooeeeekid follow
Vent under the cut
read more
💣 emooooeeeekid
Fuckin got you didn’t I
🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow
Go fuck yourself
💣 emooooeeeekid
Don’t mind if I do
🧢 jord-the-trans follow
There’s something wrong with both of you
63 notes
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💣 emooooeeeekid follow
>be me
>have a crush on a guy
>guy likes someone else
>other guy is homophobic, used to be my friend but dropped me when I came out
>dont have the heart to tell my crush
Hes gonna get his heart broken either way and like :((( UGHH i just want him to like me
🎬 samthehotdog follow
Oof thats rough pal
🧢 jord-the-trans follow
Yeah Im real sorry abt that Val :(
A little off topic but I didn’t know you had a crush?
💣 emooooeeeekid
Haha nope. No crush here. I dont have any crushes nosireee
🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow
Real subtle mate
42 notes
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🛸 ang3l-baby follow
Im just gonna make it clear right now if you don’t think that straight aces are lgbt i need you to get the fuck off my blog right now
🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow
are you vagueposting abt your boyfriend’s haters
🛸 ang3l-baby
Die mad
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anonymous asked: wait you have a boyfriend ???
🛸 ang3l-baby follow
Actually @:reedinthemarsh isn’t my boyfriend he’s my wife
🍬 reedinthemarsh follow
When did we get married also when did I transition???
🛸 ang3l-baby
It’s only a matter of time
💣 emooooeeeekid follow
GELP???
26 notes
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💣 emooooeeeekid follow
My parents think that me being non-binary might be confusing for my little brothers but I explained it to them once and they immediately understood, said “okay” and then asked me what my 2nd favourite colour was
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🌌 cosmicgirlthing follow
URL check
Cosmic: nope
Girl: nope
Thing: sure why not
100 notes · View notes
luvscr · 2 years
Text
price, ghost and alejandro reacting to m!reader's sh scars (hcs)
cw/tags: depression, sh, scars, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff fluff fluff, probably ooc characters but idc🫶
apologies for any grammatical erros!
long ass note:
so i got this request which i won't be showing in case it might trigger someone nor will i tag the person who requested this bc im not sure if he would be comfortable with it. i've never written about sh hurt comfort before, simply because i didn't feel like i could do justice for the comfort part but i tried my best and tried to make it not so triggering. your media consumption is your own responsibility, please proceed carefully and do not read if you're not in the right mindset. if you're struggling, i know it's hard but please reach out to a loved one or even me. you're not alone, you matter.
price:
it was purely on accident that he saw your scars. he wouldn't mention it to you but he would ask around, people you interact with if they've heard or seen anything. when they asked questions he would simply shut them down or use his rank and pull the "classified information" card. he wouldn't really know what to do, given he's your superior so it was kind of his responsibility, so he got in touch with kate to help him find a therapist. his first instinct is to get professional help if needed. he would invite you to his office so it's just the two of you and make you comfortable, even make you a cup of tea. he would approach the topic carefully and wouldn't force you to tell anything you didn't want to, reassure you that he's not upset, he just wants to help. if you refuse to get a therapist it's okay, he completely understands and will offer you to talk to him instead. he may come off as stern sometimes but it's just because he genuinely cares so much about you and is worried constantly, no matter how old the scars are. he would try to think of alternatives for you to put that energy into if you still struggle and would be there anytime to comfort you. he kinda acts like a dad (like w everyone bruh)
ghost:
oh sweet lord this man. he kind of had a feeling when he noticed that even in the hottest weather you only wore long sleeved clothes. he would notice them when your sleeve and the somewhat shorts you had on accidentally rolled up. you just ignored his eyes burning holes through you, given it was normal for him to just stare menacingly at anyone. (not on purpose tho he just looks mean by default) i wouldn't say it would trigger him, but it would definitely stir up some unpleasant feelings inside of him because of his past. he knows exactly how you feel and wants to help you, no matter if you're a friend or just some rando at the base. just like price he would approach the subject carefully, knowing well how hard it is to reach out for help and how it's even harder to open up and actually talk about it. he isn't the best at comforting but he's is a damn good listener and he'll let you know that if you need him don't hesitate to talk to him even if it feels useless. will crack those stupid jokes of his to make you feel better lol tbh i feel like he would be the best kind of person to open up to because he relates so much, he completely understands the feeling of being ashamed of self-destructive activities and would be the sweetest during a relapse. would caress gently the older scars on your body if you allow him to :(<3
he strikes me as a very straightforward person bc of the graves scene. my dude just straight up told the cabrón to stfu (as he should!!) so based on this i think as soon as he sees he's all up in your business. of course not with the intention to make you uncomfortable but he just wants to make sure you're okay and is absolutely willing to help whether it's finding a therapist or just giving a shoulder to lean on. he values every single person in his life and would literally do anything for them and obviously you're no exception. ngl it would be kind of uncomfortable and awkward as you're not used to so much attention especially surrounding your mental health, but he just wants to do good and he's willing to do anything to help and i mean anything. you need a break from work? done. a hug? you don't even have to ask. he will do everything for you if you feel too drained to do even basic things such as cooking meals, helping you shower if you're comfortable with that and etc. basically becomes a househusband for you!
alejandro:
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Tomorrow x Together react to not being your bias
my goodness this could be so entertaining to see these boys are so goofy, I love them!
hope yall enjoy!
all the love ~ lunar
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Soobin: 
Soobin would freeze in shock when you tell him that he’s not your bias
Eyes practically popping out of his head like he just heard a nun cussing
I honestly think he would be speechless and wouldn’t really know how to react
He wouldn’t really take it personally, but he would start to question things
His mind would be overthinking everything that has happened between you two
He would wonder why you are with him instead of your bias in the group
Please reassure him, he might cry if you let him think on it too long
Once he knows that you are with him because you love him for him, he will start to calm down again, and won’t think much about it after that
However, he might tease you with this knowledge that he has
Until you give him the “stfu” look, and he stops immediately
In all honesty, he wouldn’t be too offended by it, because he knows that you are his, and he trusts that you are with him because you love him
Yeonjun:
Looks at you as if you just committed a felony
How dare you have a different bias than him???
His look is a combination of personal offense, and shock
Will become pouty when he hears that he isn't your bias
Won't show you affection the way that he normally does, but also won’t push away your affection either
Will say things like “why don't you go talk to Beomgyu, since he's your bias”
Not that he's insecure or anything, he just needs to be a little dramatic about the situation
Knows deep down that you are his and only his
Though you might want to reassure him anyways so he stops being dramatic
Overall, he might be a little bitter, but deep down he knows that you are his, and that you want to be with him and only him
Beomgyu:
This man is a whole different breed already, he would be so offended
Looks at you is if you just tore his heart out of his chest
“I'm not your bias? Who am I to you then? Jeez you think you know someone.” 
Proceeds to pout even if you tell him that it doesn't matter and that he is the only one you have eyes for
Might even leave the room, if he does and you don't follow, he'll come back but he's even more pouty than he was before
Its as if the world is about to end “stuck down by my own girlfriend”
Keeps the joke going so long that he actually becomes insecure 
Please reassure him, he just wants to be the one to treat you right :(
Same as Yeonjun, he wouldn't cuddle up to you, but he wouldn't push you away either
“Change your bias, I'm your bias, I am your boyfriend after all.” sometimes it's hard to tell if he's being dramatic or if he's actually worried about it
Again, he's gonna need lots of reassurance, maybe some cuddles, and his favorite sweets before he's back to normal
Overall, he's gonna be upset about it, but he won't tell you that he's overthinking, poor baby’s gonna need cuddle and kiss therapy for a week
Taehyun:
Unbothered King
Wouldn't even think twice about him not being your bias
If you were looking for a reaction from him, you wont get one
So calm about the whole thing, you might think he didn't even hear you lmao
He knows that you are with him for a reason, and he is confident that he can treat you better than anyone else could
He is confident with the relationship that you two have, so why would he worry
If you didn't want to be with him you wouldn't be, but you are so he's not stressed about anything
Other than Beomgyu screaming about something from the other room
When it comes to you, he knows that he can fully trust you, and he knows that you love him, a true King
Huening Kai:
Honestly Hyuka will probably think its cute, or he would agree with you
“Oh Soobin is your bias? Me too!”
Would probably get your bias to sign one of the photo cards you have
Thinks its cute, though he would probably also be a little sad that it's not him
Wouldn't overthink it though
More similar to Taehyun, he knows you are with him, and that he is yours
But he might tease you as well for having someone else be your bias
Another unbothered king for the most part
His teasing would have you flustered, which he thinks is the cutest thing ever
He in general just thinks that you are the cutest thing ever, so if having one of the other boys as your bias makes you giggle, hes okay with it
He just wants to see you happy, even if he is a little sad, he won't let it affect him too much
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lovemyromance · 2 months
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ACOTAR FANDOM RANT incoming:
Y'all will never see me commenting on a properly tagged anti-Elriel post just to start a fight or even point out something the OP misconstrued or concluded (however incorrectly).
Ok I've done it maybe like three times, and it was probably back from when I was brand spankin new to this fandom's insanity and didn't understand the rules (learned Very quickly as a result of a bad encounter with the you know who's), or because someone copy pasted my post to "prove me wrong" (they didn't)
I've only been active in this fandom since like February 2024, and I have yet to block anyone, block any tags, or even follow any tags.
I see just as many anti-Elriel posts as I see Elriel posts.
Let that sink in.
I don't "go looking" through the anti-elriel tags, but when you don't follow anything - you get a whole lot of everything in your "for you" page.
I see so many flat out wrong interpretations of canon text or people posting about how during "Gwyn & Azriel's dagger lesson, he let her use Truthteller" or "Elain is secretly so in love with Lucien that she self harms instead of using his gifts"
and you know what I do? I exercise my self-control, and scroll. None of my business.
Clearly, I am not someone who is interested or even out lurking in anti Elriel posts for a fight. And yet, I have so many antis commenting on my posts - getting mad - then blocking ME.
Does that make sense? They came onto my page, to tell me I was wrong, and then got mad when I very logically pointed out the flaws in their logic, and then blocked me.
Facts:
I don't go out and start fights on anti-Elriel posts.
When someone comes to my posts, and starts a fight, I am very respectful of that person. You'll see me calling their interpretation wrong - but you won't see me saying anything about them personally, or calling them names or slurs or anything of that nature.
I do not belittle others
I do not dismiss anyone's trauma
I do not diminish anyone's accomplishments
I am respectful of real people's boundaries
I have never brought up tasteless and crude arguments just to "win a fight"
And if anyone thinks otherwise, then go ahead, feel free to prove me wrong. Receipts are all up there. To this day, I haven't deleted a comment, post, or reblog. I have like 80 posts a day, surely if I have behaved poorly in any way, I would've slipped up by now and you'd be able to find it.
But I know I haven't.
Even when people didn't read my post or understand anything I was saying before coming into my comments to fight with me. Even when someone said my trauma doesn't matter. Even when someone said I was "anti SA victims" (which is really funny, because that was after I reluctantly pointed out that I was unfortunately ALSO an SA victim)
I have never, ever, said anything like that to anyone in this fandom. That's just not who I am.
So then why - WHY - do people think it's okay to send me anons that threaten to find me and get me to "stfu about elriel you fucking c*nt" and tell me to go off myself and if I ship Elriel I'm an abuser?
Genuinely - why is that necessary? Why does someone feel the need to type that out, read it back, nod to themselves like "oh yeah that's good". And then send it to a real person??
What do they think I'm going to do? What purpose does that serve? It's very clearly a troll or some Elucien/Gwynriel that doesn't like what I have to say - but why is this the reaction?
Having a preference for a fictional ship does not make you a bad person. I have not once engaged with ANY EL/GA and called them "anti - SA" or "pro - r*pe culture" if they were fighting with me on my post. I think they're crazy sometimes - don't get me wrong - but I'm not out here thinking someone who ships Elucien is anti-women.
That is crazy. If you think having any preference for a ship makes some a "BAD PERSON", respectfully please log off. Get out of this fandom because you are part of the reason it's gotten so bad.
Stop attacking real people over fucking fictional characters. It's not okay, in any context. And I'm tired of it.
Turning off my anons for at least a little bit, sorry to the ones I haven't gotten around to.
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mattscoquette · 4 months
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might be a hot take but idgaf. the triplets need serious media training. me being an older fan, i was a fangirllll when fangirling was at its prime in like 2012-2014 era. like one direction, taylor swift, justin beiber, ariana grande. and some of the things the triplets say, one direction wouldn’t be caught DEAD saying those kinds of things. i notice that the triplets like to complain about a lot of the things fans do, they call the fans cringe/corny or just bash on the things fans say or do. im not saying it’s not corny or cringey, but they need to learn to not diss on stuff fans are doing or saying because they get their feelings hurt. yeah I understand they’re 20 years old, almost 21, but at the end of the day, their fan base will always be preteens, teens, and young adults. the reason i like using one direction as an example is because the triplets have the popularity and fandom of a teenage boy band. the triplets fandom doesn’t even compare to how embarrassing the one direction fandom was but they knew never to say rude things about the fans because as the end of the day, the fans are the reason they made money and got to do what they always wanted and loved.
ending with my statement again, someone please get the triplets some media training immediately. or someone just needs to tell them to stfu sometimes.
i lowkey agreeeee like yes the fans are so cringy sometimes but they rlly shit on their fans more than any other creators. like we are the ones paying ur bills!!!! i get it’s annoying but like when ur complaining every single video about ur fans or comes off looking bad. not saying they hate their fans they just need to tone down a little
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dumplingsjinson · 6 months
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an update on cat guy because it's been a hot minute since i've done one, i think. i don't remember if i've talked about him lately so here goes.
i had a date with cat guy on monday night; met his extended family again for his cousin's birthdy party (which i was informed about ON MONDAY MORNING SO I WAS LIKE HUH), was somehow roped into being in some of the pictures as well so i'm like- oh. they remember me, but i don't remember their names lmfao weflnewklnf
i ended up staying over (like i've been doing literally every date now lmfao).
ANYYWAAYYY, we've been having this thing where tickle fights (started by my menace self) would turn into his face being so close to mine, and i'd have to resist the temptation to kiss him just because i love playfighting with him (because i know once i give in, he'd kiss me hard and wouldn't let me go for a damn while) even though it ends up with me losing EVERY TIME.
and i also just love hearing him laughing. like, sometimes he'd try to kiss me and i'd pretend to give in and then be like HAHA no- we STILL HAVE MORE OF THIS TO GO!
whenever i actually give up because i lowkey tired myself out with all the resisting, he'd move in closer and... well, yeah.
FORGIVE A GIRL FOR GIVING INTO THE TEMPTATION OF RELIEVING THAT SEXUAL TENSION OKAY.
(TMI below the line, if you don't want to see me share the details then spare yourself lmfao)
now that's out of the way.
things would get pretty hot and heavy (my question to him last night, verbatim, after we calmed down a little: "how do we always end up like this?" and mfer goes "is there a problem with that?" in his usual teasing tone while holding me even closer to him EVERY GOD DAMN TIME.
and no, i'm not complaining, because i have needs and wants and i am not someone who's afraid to admit that and usually i want that to happen which is why i start the tickle fights HAHAH
so that night, let's just say i was being a very needy lil shit (his thigh was involved) and i was like blabbering and being all like "this is so embarrassing" in a soft whine, and this man goes:
"it's so hot," in that husky voice of his.
FUCKING EXCUSE-
he also called me his good girl once again AND IT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME FEEL SO SHY LKWENFWEKN
anyways.
after that first session (yes we had another one afterwards, stfu-), i was telling him how i wanna make him feel good too (he's always the one making me feel good and i felt so selfish for receiving so much and giving so little).
he proceeds to tell me, "you make me happy. i like making you feel good and as long as you feel good and you're happy, then i feel good, too."
and me, while stroking his hair and feeling guilty with the knowledge that he's usually the one giving, "but are you happy?" (and when i asked that, even though he already said i make him happy, i meant like... is he really happy?? considering how, in my head, he was giving so much and i wasn't returning much. not because i don't want to but because he never asks for much even when i straight up ask him what he wants me to do with him. i'm just someone who very easily doubts things).
and motherfucker on a truck (the sweetheart that he fucking is onrgklfnw), goes: "yeah. i'm happy when you're happy, because i love you so much" and lays his head on my chest and i'm likeee HELLLPPPPPP ofnewklnfw 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
after like a moment or two because my brain is a piece of laggy shit, i mutter a soft "i love you, too" and hold him closer to me bECAUSE I'M BAD AT EXPRESSING MY AFFECTIONS WITH WORDS AND SAYING I LOVE YOU IS NOT SOMETHING THAT NATURALLY COMES TO ME EVEN WHEN IT'S SAID TO ME FIRST OKAY, LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE
i've asked him plenty of times prior to this time what he wants me to do with him and it all boils down to this: he's someone who likes to please, rather than to be pleased.
which is fair enough, but i did tell him if he ever wants me to do anything, he can tell me.
but yeah. all this happened.
and i can't wait to see him again for his friend's birthday party, which he invited me to wlknfe
it's so funny bc i feel like i'm slowly entering his world and i'm part of his comfort zone now.
he's also an insufferable piece of shite and a right old prat at times, but i love him either way <3
he also did suggest something he's wanted to try but never got around to doing so after that talk of ours, which lead into the second session SAURRR
:))) i love him-
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shiftersroom · 2 months
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hi thala! 💞 so sorry if you don’t accept this kind of asks but i just feel like i need to vent and your vlog is always reassuring and comforting.
currently i’m in this situation where i just want to get out of this cr and permashift to my dr asap, but it seems like i can’t stop self sabotaging myself and i’m so so tired of it. last night i was crying my heart out because of how bad i felt about it. i’ve been practicing meditation so i can enter the void and even though it seems like i learned to keep my mind awake and body sleep i haven’t been able to get past that and it’s so frustrating. i know there’s tons of methods and also everyone says i don’t even need one but i idk why i have this idea that i need some method to detach from my cr really printed on my mind. for the self sabotaging part, i can’t help but have trust issues regarding myself and the community, sometimes it’s my intrusive thoughts making me doubt about shifting being real/posible and other’s successful experiences (saying it must have been a lucid dream or they are just making it up and i really HATE and feel guilty to discredit their experiences in that way 😭) and other times my belief in shifting is unwavering but i don’t feel capable of it. i'm not even the kind of person who has ever had any “closer attempts” or mini shifts and has been really hard for me to find what works best for me, meditation is by far what i’ve been trying the most but i’m just so impatient that sometimes i can’t help but feel that i’m going nowhere. my mind is really so stubborn when it comes to trying to change negative thoughts.
sorry for all of this, i don’t have shifting friends or someone i can share this stuff with. i don’t usually tend to feel this way but last night i just kinda collapsed, it crossed my mind that maybe i'm wasting my time and that i should just give up but i don’t want to, if this shii is real i need to experience it no matter what. i want to be with the ones i love and live the life i want. i don’t want to stay here any longer. i want to try loa along with shifting but then again, my intrusive thoughts say that i’ll be just gaslighting myself and all that.
i know no one else can fix these problems for me, but i’m so scared of failure or just being delusional for believing in all of this. sorry again for the long vent, i needed to get this off my chest. love you and your blog so much thala. if you don’t really want to accept this because honestly is like a long ass and probably demotivating ramble it’s totally okay, but thank you for taking the time if you do. hope you keep being happy and having success with everything you do. 😭🫶🏻
hello 💕 please feel free to vent, i don’t mind.
i completely understand your level of frustration, i badly want to permashift too and i have little breakdowns every few months once it catches up to me that nothing has fully worked yet.
the void can take a long time to perfect. i mean monks spend decades learning to meditate! why don’t you try something other than meditation? if you’ve given it a good go and it hasn’t worked, it’s probably not the method for you. i recommend a short break before trying a new method. rn i’m writing an affirmation 100 times a day. but honestly if that doesn’t work i’m straight up gonna lay there and visualize for 8 hours every night. i’m getting out of here no matter what.
try asking yourself what you think will work for you - sometimes we know the answer but we need to sit down and think about it. for example i keep doing affirmations, or short visualizations. but i feel what will make me shift is just laying there and telling myself to stfu and visualize until i’m there, even if it takes hours.
as for the self sabotage, i cope with that by watching my favorite creators and realizing that no one in their right mind would upload years of unpaid content that most people would ridicule us for, all for it to be a lie or joke. especially older shifters. and the other thing i like to do is remind myself that if i shifted and came back, no matter how ridiculous the experience was it’d still be real - so even if you don’t believe someone bc it sounds outlandish, it can still be real.
i’m also scared of being delusional but i simply cannot and will not remain here. there is no other option for me, so i’ll persist forever. the first time i shifted i had no idea id shift. that keeps me motivated, i could feel awful and still wake up in my dr tomorrow.
forever posting this reddit post by someone who shifted after 5 years, this was my fave comment of theirs:
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and that motivates me even more - even if it’s fake i’m gonna make it real.
i also struggle with trying to change negative thoughts and my mindset, i’m in my mid 20s this stuff is harder to believe in at this age, and my mind has been tainted by years of bad experiences. but as hard as it is i’m forcing myself to get over it and try everything, bc i just need to shift once and all my bad experiences will be over.
i’m sorry if i gave you a big rant in return haha, but i hope this helps!! 💕 i’m so happy you like my blog and thanks for your sweet words 🥹
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odinsblog · 1 year
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OMG, white people get sO mad when you block them on tumblrdotcom. They be like, “YOU UNBLOCK ME AND DEBATE ME RIGHT THIS MOMENT SO I CAN TELL EVERYONE WHY I THINK YOU’RE WONG!”
Like, my dude, you dO know that you can go and make your own posts, right? You aren’t a “victim” bc you got blocked
Like, sometimes I don’t mind a good natured debate (so long as we’re not “debating” things like basic human rights), but I don’t owe anyone the discourse™ on this website. And if even if you’ve somehow made a good point, why on earth would I or anyone be enticed to not block someone who starts or ends their comments with snide personal insults? My blog is not a democracy, beyotch
SN: They’re unintentionally revealing their ingrained desire, where what they REALLY want is to control what certain people say and force others into using their preferred narrative. They aren’t really interested in dialogue, they just want the world to bend to their preferred narrative (hint: you can simply make an argument of your own and lay it out there, you don’t have to harass others on their posts and their little corner of the internet)
I love social media, but one bad thing about it is, it teaches many people to be smug sanctimonious assholes, instead of just actually trying to talk to other people like they’re human beings with differing opinions
Anyway, it never ceases to amaze me at how privileged some people are, like they’ve never been told to stfu before
When you tell ‘em, they be shook like 😮 🫢 🫨
LOL, well they’re in luck because I am just the Black man who will tell them precisely what they’ve been needing to hear: despite what your parents may have told you all your life, you are not a ✨special boy✨so please have a tall glass of blocked + STFU
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cuntyyellowpikmin · 1 month
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What the heeelllll??
i feel like my posts have been getting less and less activity. i dunno if it's because i haven't been posting art WIPs or what. or is it because i act like a freak or a weirdo??? i actually do not even know brudda but like i feel like i need a reality check every so often due to my assumption that i make everyone i know uncomfortable. and i mean EVERYONE. idk but i feel like i just do or say something that makes me repugnant to others, and then there's also people not telling me whenever i do make people feel like that so i'm stuck not knowing what the hell i'm doing wrong in a social situation. and then there's also the fact that i'm impulsive and i got no filter partially due to my ADHD, but i hate blaming my flaws on my ADHD and i take full responsibility for it cuz i don't wanna be one of those people that try to get away with everything due to a disadvantage. and then there's the fact that i actually DID do bad shit in the past, and i didn't even realize it was bad shit until it was too late, like the time when i got banned from The Zoo (r/Pikmin discord server). fuck it i try so hard not to curse too often but i got a bad habit of cursing, maybe i make people feel uncomfortable that way too? and i also curse a lot because i don't wanna get physically angry. beacuse if i do then people are gonna think that i need to be sent to the psych ward.so i decide to cry for long periods of time, except my family is already concerned that i cry for too long and will threaten to send me to the hospital if i dont shut the fuck up and stop crying I DON'T KNOW SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK'S GOING ON
i hope someone sees this post and gives me a reality check if i need one (i probably do, it's probably the reason why my activity's going down)
EDIT: sorry if i'm like rambling too much abt shit like this but i get paranoid that people are ignoring me and that it's my fault WAYYYY too often it's not healthy. i'm gonna delete this after a few days because let's be honest i need to stfu sometimes
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yandere-sins · 2 months
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I'm so so sorry! Forgive me! I didn't mean for my ask to come off that way. I've been reading fics for a long time and engagement has been "I'll update when I want to stfu!" Or "Yeah I heard your idea but I don't want it." Or "It's my story I'll do what I want."
From my understanding and experience giving writers ideas has been kind of taboo and unappreciated from the writers.
And waiting silently hasn't done me any good. I've had stories I was dedicated reading go on hiatus for years. The last one I read getting updated after 2 years and it was clearly a rushed project with no effort put into it. And now it's on another hiatus again going on 1 year. When multiple people asked about it the creator has a "At least I updated at all!" kind of attitude. It was incredibly heart breaking for both sides.
And it seems to be incredibly more common nowadays. I didn't mean to be rude and I do like your other stories. It just stings having other projects worked on while a favorite collects dust and anything you do gets met with aggression or ignored.
Please keep up the good work. I genuinely appreciate you!
I'm sorry but your last ask really came off that way and I had a bad day. Thank you for apologizing and I'm sorry you had these experiences, no more hard feelings here.
I hope you don't feel like you need to generalize all writers because I have never been told these awful things before, so I can wholeheartedly say it's not everyone. Those you encountered treated you badly, but that doesn't mean everyone will. In fact, maybe it wasn't a problem they had with you, but just a problem they had that day or with themselves and you were a scapegoat in that moment. It's not right and they should have just deleted your ask and moved on from it and not been rude to you, but it might explain things. I'm sorry for the experience you had with these people, and I hope they reflect and better themselves every day. You should still watch how you talk to others though, because seeing how demanding you worded your other ask, maybe you've been misinterpreted a few times.
The best and safest way is always to wait and see if a writer asks for inspiration or help and then respond, but it's not everyone's cup of tea to ask for outside help, and we have to respect that too. Don't push you opinion on others (like, write hundreds of words about how things should continue and then this should happen and maybe the characters could do this, etc.) because if you go against someone's believes you will only end up wasting your time and energy talking against a wall. I'd even say if anyone treats you rudely, you should step away and leave them for good. But personally, I've never been mad at anyone for writing me an ask with e.g. "I keep thinking about x and x happening and I am so curious how it will continue!" or something like "Have you thought about x doing x? I wonder if they'd be happy this way!"
I always like hearing others ideas, but you also shouldn't be upset if I don't do anything with it. Especially with multiple chapter stories, there's usually some kind of plotline I'm following and as such I might need to change the whole plot for the story if I take inspiration. Sometimes it can be incorporated, sometimes not. Sometimes it's worth in my opinion to change everything, sometimes it's too much work.
Btw, as far as I heard, you should never suggest things to authors who have published books and series. It can get really messy. But you are always free to tell them how excited you are and how much you enjoyed their stories!!
However, I do disagree with you on the last point. Your dedication to a story might be admirable but doesn't sound healthy for neither you nor the authors. For you because you use an unreliable source to dedicate your well-being too, and for the author because everyone is allowed to create and stop creating as they like. Forcing them will only end in heartbreak as you have experienced. No one gets to decide for someone else, so if you want to keep dedicating yourself to stories that are still in the works or have long been abandoned, so be it, but then you shouldn't be surprised if a writer snaps at you for demanding more and more. Every decision you make has the potential to be a concious one, so think before you act.
Everyone hates it if a good story is left to rot, but the only thing you can do is be thankful for the author writing it and wishing them well no matter what they are doing. Try reading stories that are finished and save those that aren't for later when they are done or definitely on hiatus so you can prepare yourself for not getting an end. You are free to choose the internet experience you want to see, but you can't force your experience on others.
And here is my controversial take of the month... no idea that exist is really original. Even if you read about a princess becoming the dragon, it has been done before. So in the worst case that an unfinished story really eats away at you, use the idea that you can see the story originate from and create the tale you want on your own from scratch—even the ending. You might not be able to finish the story of someone else, but you can still think about yours.
I wish you well, anon. Take care.
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rweoutofthewoods · 3 months
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hey,
just saw the ask about someone discussing ur characterisation of James in young blood and how they thought he wasn’t a ‘baddie’ and that he was ‘not cool’ (btw this isn’t like hate to the person who asked this or anything incase u reply to this publicly and they see this, ik they said they don’t mean it as hate, I’m just saying what I was thinking cause I think the difference is interesting I guess🫣 so all love!!! ANYWAYS.)
I just thought it was interesting cause I did not get that vibe at all from James in the story. What I got from it was that James was actually cool in juvie, in a lowkey probably a little shit, who is funny and annoyingly endearing kinda way. I also thought he was a ‘badass’ in his own kinda way. But I don’t rlly think ‘badass’ is the best way to describe him in this fic tho, i think it’s more he is very capable and able at holding his own but he’s not like some intimidating, cool and mysterious typical badass (I’ve written this word too many times I hate it now😔) like what I feel Regulus is more like. And I also did get the impression he was a ‘bad kid’ but in a more ‘ I was a good kid and I’m a good kid in my core but something shit happened to me so now I’m acting out and doing bad things cause I don’t know how to properly deal with what’s happened to me , people expect it of me and this is my coping mechanism plus the whole getting myself hurt makes me feel better in a way kinda way (that doesn’t make sense I don’t think BUT WE MOVE) and he doesn’t come across as supposed to have been some teen who was out here doing all this mega bad boy (ew I don’t like that phrase but I’m using it anyways) crimes, but more like enough to get u in juvie ones and be significantly concerning. I could ramble more cause that fat ass paragraph doesn’t even fully express what I got from the way u wrote James. But just overall I think it’s interesting how ppl can get different things out of the same piece of writing. Also sorry if what I interpreted it as, is not what you were looking for, it probs did come across the way u wanted I’m just shit at explaining well and concisely lol.
ALSO (sorry if u hate me for this 10k essay oopsies) the thing about u worrying that James seems OOC but saying he’s not, ur just portraying the effects of childhood. I PERSONALLY DID NOT READ IT AND THINK HE WAS OOC, PLEASE DO NOT STRESS ABOUT IT UR WRITING IS FABULOUS AND IM VERY MUCH GETTING WHAT UR PUTTING ACROSS. Like u can tell by the way James acts with his friends and his internal monologue that he would be what some people more typically see James as, but it’s his trauma which is preventing him from properly being so. Like it’s just this road block. AND EVEN IF HE DOES GET OOC ITS REALISTIC WHO CARES, ILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO DOES, ITS UR FIC(unless you care then I apologise queen) but it’s so realistic like I went through a rlly shitty thing in my early teenage years and personally I think I’m a completely different person cause of it, and it’s interesting to read the way James changes because of what happens to him. Personally, I rlly like the way u write James (omd especially in EOITV I just want to gush over that fic for a second, it’s chefs kiss I love it so much, thank you for creating it, your mind is a wonderful place) I like how he can be a bit more messy, it’s interesting (also that reminds me another reason why I don’t think he’s spineless in young blood, cause he had a go at Regulus when they were fighting and I was like YEAH I KNOW U CAN SAY UNFAIR THINGS BUT ALSO STANDING UP FOR URSELF AND ACTING OUT AND NOT BEING PERFECT YAY, cause sometimes I do see James written in situations like that where he just takes it (nothing wrong with that I just personally prefer where he can gives just as good as he gets sometimes!:)))).
I need to stfu this is way to long, I’m actually embarrassed and scared u think I’m like some obsessed weirdo, I’m not I promise, it’s just 2:30 am and the most common feedback I get on school essays is ‘stop the waffle’. So long ass pieces of writing tend to be a bit too familiar with me 😔
okay last bit I promise, but THE AMOUNT OF NEW FICS U HAVE AND THE RATE U BANG THEM OUT?!?!, whenever I come to your blog and see a post about a new fic, I’m like wow your insane but in the best way possible cause how is this possible?! How are you able to do this?! This is so impressive ?!😭 Cause ur fics r to such a good writing standard and each one is so unique and different to each other, I run around my room in excitement each time u post a new chapter.
I could go on but I won’t because the fear of appearing a tinsy bit insane is real and idk if this is overwhelming, but yeha sorry, my waffling tendencies can be my downfall 😭
but uhhhhh Yeha overall, your writing and ability to write is very impressive, bye 😗😁
Hello!! I can’t answer you privately bc ur anon so I’ll start by saying: that ask? No lingering thoughts or feelings about it whatsoever and this reply is not even going to be about that, just what you’ve said. I can’t imagine how much time it took you to write all that because it takes me FOREVER to write replies to asks, so I appreciate your time and ofc have to write you a response because I’m honored <33
Just on the subject on Youngblood James. You put it perfectly and I think I said this in my end notes vaguely—childhood trauma changes EVERYTHING. Exactly as you said, I myself had a pretty shitty childhood and I think I’d be an entirely different person if I’d grown up differently. I got BPD out of it (😭) and Youngblood James got some pretty fucked up mental health and coping skills. And it was my hope that seeing James thru Reg’s POV and seeing his relationship with his friends etc. that you’d be able to see there’s still some of that James Potter we know and love, BUT part of James’ canon character (or fanon idk) is that he grew up comfortably, privileged, with two loving parents, getting whatever he wanted. We see it in canon with how cocky and in need of some humbling he was, and Youngblood James got way more than humbled, his life got blown to bits and while he was very, very, young. Before he even would have been Hogwarts age in canon. SO, I don’t think he’s OOC at all, I think he’s exactly who he’d be if those things happened to him. And I put a lot of thought into his character and his actions. So me fearing him seeming OOC is really just that I can put things out into the world but I never have any idea how it will be taken or if my intentions will be realized.
I didn’t intend for him to be badass at all because like… James’ crimes were all really in efforts to self-destruct. Him fighting people he did because he wanted to be hurt. Stealing a car? Well… we know by now how that ended. I also will note I didn’t intend reg to be badass either (tho maybe his character naturally is a little bit) because Youngblood isn’t about that, or how cool it is to commit crimes. it’s about how fucked up the system is, how childhood trauma lingers, how we need to do more to support and help kids in need instead of writing them off. So many kids act out or get in trouble because of much deeper reasons than them just wanting to cause trouble. And I say this as someone who was a kid who acted out, and who also recently as a more straight and narrow adult now, had their car fucking vandalized and literally SHOT AT by a bunch of kids. But I can look at those kids in real life, in my town, and I know the families they come from, I know there’s things going on behind closed doors. And yeah, was I pissed? Ofc, actually I was pretty devastated. I worked 7 days a week to buy that car and it was my first. there being reasons doesn’t make their actions okay, but I can also see that here in real life, children are being failed when they’ve barely had a chance at life yet. And Youngblood is really my attempt to humanize these issues and draw light to how we may be failing children. ANYWAY there was my long winded rant. I lost the plot a bit tbh but I could go on about Youngblood 😭
So in short, James in my opinion is not OOC, and ur right he is not weak either, because trauma and mental health issues doesn’t equate to weak. I think you exactly hit the nail on the head and it’s always appreciated when I feel like someone really gets my characters. My James is my James, and he’ll always be so special to me, every single version, because no matter what universe I throw him in, I always know exactly who he is and what makes him that way.
This is so long, I don’t really expect anyone to read this but you (hopefully), but this is just for you anyway <33 I appreciate all your kind words and interesting thoughts and I love how you said it’s interesting that ppl can read the same thing and get something different out of it. Because the amount of times I’ve written something and realized ppl got something entirely different than I’d expect honestly shocks me. And sometimes it’s sad if ppl miss my point, but mostly I think it’s beautiful that we can all interpret things differently.
Hope you have the best week and life is treating you warmly xx
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