#someone pls help alec

[lostboys-fangposting]

if smeyer doesn't want to give us solid dates/backstories for when members were born/turned/added to the volturi, that's fine, i'll do it myself

[nomniki]

also thinking abt shadow hunters ! enhypen hmmm ….

[buckys-loverman]

cooking lessons - jeremiah fisher

you and jeremiah have been best friends since you were children and he has taught you everything you know; but he’s not done with all his lessons

warnings: smut, finger banging, minors DNI, 18+ appropriate, praise kink, vulgar language

pairing: fem!reader x jeremiah fisher

A/N: hi guys! this is my first time writing on tumblr so pls be nice to any mistakes that i make this time around. not my gif & hope you enjoy!

You and Jeremiah had been childhood best friends since preschool, along with Conrad, Steven and Belly. It was tradition for you to join along on their summer vacation to Cousins Beach.

Every month the two of you liked to try new recipes to cook, it helped the both of you learn something new and allowed you to spend uninterrupted time with Jeremiah. Your stomach twisted and turned each time he guided your hand while cooking, his laugh echoing in your ear as your cheeks turned pink.

You weren’t allowed to think about him in that manner, he was your best friend and you just had to ignore the way his fingers would glide into his mouth as he would taste test the batter you made for the lemon cake you both agreed to make that day. How you could see his tongue swirling around his fingers, swallowing every drop as he stared intensely into your eyes. Your stomach had tightened in knots watching him, your panties slowly getting soaked as you tried squeezing your legs together and starting up a conversation to distract yourself from the boy in front of you.

“So, are you going to the bonfire tonight? First one of the season.” You smiled as you picked up an egg to add to the mix.

His voice got closer to your ear, “Depends, will you be accompanying me again this summer?” His hands lightly wrapped around your waist from behind, his veiny arms on full display as you could see his smile from the corner of your eye.

“I-I’m not sure-” You cleared your voice, “Someone actually asked me as their date…” You whispered the last part, hoping that he either wouldn’t hear or wouldn’t ask you any questions.

“What?” His arm moved away from his previous hug and landed on the sides of your waist as he flipped you around to face him, your body pushed against the counter. “Who?” He asked as his arms have you trapped, an angry and confused expression smeared across his face. God he looked so hot when he was angry, especially at you.

You snap yourself out of your thoughts and you take a deep breath, “Um Alec, the one from the club. You remember him right? Taller side, likes to surf-” But Jeremiah stopped you before you finish, “No.”

“What?” You blinked a few times as you thought Jeremiah would be happy that you finally got your own date to the bonfire, you wouldn’t be his best friend that just stands next to him all night feeling like a burden that he can’t go flirt with other people.

“I’m not letting you go with him, he’s a total fuckboy! He’s just trying to take advantage of you.” He spat in disgust, his eyebrows wrinkling together as his fists began to grip on to the counter behind you.

“I’m sorry, did you ever consider that maybe I know about his reputation?” You crossed your arms, never breaking eye contact with him.

He shook his head, “If you know then why go with him? He’s just trying to fuck you like the rest of the girls in Cousins!” His face turning red as he moves closer in, his breath mixing in with your own.

“Because I want to! Jesus, wrap it around your stubborn head that maybe I want to fuck somebody and if that means Alec, then I’ll do it!” You raised your voice as you uncrossed your arms and shoved Jeremiah away from you, the anger in your body beginning to take over your emotions.

Jeremiah looked taken aback at your sudden shove as pure anger crossed his face as he grabbed you by the waist and re-pinned you against the counter top, a gasp coming out from your mouth as he lowers to your level.

“Do you even know how to satisfy someone?” His low voice and lust filled eyes sent shivers throughout your body as his hands slowly move down your waist.

“Maybe not, but I can try.” You gulped as both your faces were just inches apart from one another.

A small smirk spreads across his face as he tilts his head towards your ear before whispering, “Then I’ll just have to show you.”

In one swift moment your body is lifted off the ground, a gasp escaping from your mouth as he places you on top of the counter, placing himself between your legs as he grabs the back of your neck, forcing your lips to smash into his.

The knots in your stomach soon turned to ash as you wrapped your legs around his back, pulling him in as your fingers moved through his hair, tugging at it. A groan escaped his mouth, lips still attached to yours as the two of you moved against each other’s bodies, knowing what the other one wanted.

His fingers moved agaisnt the small of your back as it made it’s way down to your pussy, that was surely drenched from his touch. He rubbed your clit over the thin material of your panties, causing a muffled moan from you. In a sudden movement he harshly pulled your underwear to the side, causing a loud rip, “I’ll buy you new ones.” He grunted.

His long and thin fingers moved up and down your heat, him teasing you with his touch as he plays with you, a smirk reappearing on his face as he watches your body twitch with this new overwhelming feeling that is taking over your body.

“Jere please-” You beg as each breath becomes harder, “No more teasing.” Your fingers now clench the counter that he did previously, your stomach feeling on fire.

He licks his lips as he smiles, “Fine, but only since you’ve been such a good girl.” He slips in a finger and you instantly feel your walls closing in around him, god it’s like he knows what makes you weak.

You moan as you tilt your head back in pleasure, his other hand reaching for your chin as he moves it forward to look at him while he finger fucks you, a second finger entering, stretching you out in pleasure.

“Fuck!” You say as you can feel the tips of his fingers curling inside of you, instantly hitting your g-spot, something you had never been able to reach yourself. Your body floods with another wave of euphoria as your toes curl inside your shoes, your breathing irregular as his fingers thrust deep into you.

“Tell me how it feels darling.” His eyes moving between your eyes and your pussy, now on display in the kitchen you two were once cooking on. The thought of it causing his cock to flinch at the thought of fucking your tight little pussy right there so he could show you that no one could ever fuck you like him.

“G-good Jere, it feels so good.” Another moan threatening to break free as his free hand moves over to your pulled up skirt, his thumb rubbing sweet and light circles over your clit. His touch sends you into orbit as your nails dig his shoulders, surely to leave a mark.

“Take it all in, there you go angel.” His stupid smirk never leaving his face, “Now tell me you’ll go to the bonfire with me.” His fingers continued to speed up inside as he adds more pressure to your clit, driving you closer to your first orgasm.

You can barely speak, better yet answer him as waves of pleasure continue to suffocate you. The way his fingers glide in and out of you, the delicate touch of his thumb rubbing over your clit as his baby blue eyes continue to stare deep into you.

“Jere-” You gasp as he slides in a third finger, your body beginning to twitch in pleasure as moans escape your mouth before you can stop them. Your knuckles turning completely white against the counter from your grip.

“That’s not an answer princess,” His deep voice feeling like an echo, “I want to hear you say yes. Think you can do that for me?”

You quickly nod as you feel all this pleasure finally catch up to you, causing you the fall flat on your back against the kitchen counter as a shock runs through your entire body, your back arching as you push your head deeper into the counter and your eyes roll into the back of your head. His fingers continue to slip in and out of you as your orgasm flashes through your body, your breathing becoming jagged as you slowly begin to come down from your high.

You feel light headed as he pulls his fingers out of you, sticking all three into his mouth as he continues to stare at you, the way he did earlier with the cake batter that was now spilling off to the side.

You sit up to your elbows to face him, “You know…” He began as he pulled his fingers out his mouth, “You never gave me the yes that I asked for.”

Your eyes widened in realization as you opened your mouth to respond, but nothing would come out as he began to unzip his pants, his hardened dick peaking out from the top as it stretched the fabric of his shorts.

“So it looks like i’ll have to fuck it out of you.”

——————————————————————————

hello everyone!! i really hope you enjoyed and if you have any more suggestions for new stories or want a part 2 then please comment, thank you all <3

[carelessflower]

it's a celebration

That day the sky was also bright. It was a time for celebration after all. Alec's king finally found himself a consort, someone worthy of the title and the power that came with it.

Someone the court would approve of.

Someone whose hands weren't plagued with blood for the rest of their life, eternal damnation awaited for all the lives they didn't spare.

What a lucky someone.

He had downed another glass, hoping the bitter flavor would drown him away.

It's no use.

Of course it didn't.

How could wine measure up to him, his smile and sorrow, the twinkling stars in his eyes that never seemed to burn out. Only this time, when Alec closed his eyes, the sweet memory of their years together, the one that kept him crawling out of the battlefield alive was replaced by the image of his king, smiling, hand in hand with his wife.

Alec could recognize those eyes anywhere, mesmerizing green and gold, rarer than the diamonds made up Alec's wedding gift. The consort would enjoy it, hopefully.

At least, he knew he'd fulfilled his duty. His king's ascension to the throne had been a bloody one, he needed a dutiful blade, in light and in dark helped to clear his pathway. And Alec succeeded.

That was all he worth for.

A fitting end, really.

Celebration ended, celebration started.

Wounds rot, life went on.

Alec stepped away from the grasp and smiled. "Your majesty, the ceremony's starting soon, I need to get back to my husband."

@dustandducks @magnus-the-maqnificent @onetimetwotimesthreetimess @cam-ryt @pocketoffeels @secrettryst @i-have-not-slept @cityofdownwardspirals dont judge too harshly pls my pen been rusty :<

[singitoutgirl26]

I need good fanfic recommendations! Let me know the name of the fic, the author, and what platform it's on ( I prefer AO3 and Wattpad) and I'll give it a shot. I'll give most ships a shot once as long as they aren't creepy (adult x child fics make me uncomfortable). I've been obsessed with most of the pairings or characters since high school (helped me cope and get through it) so pls be nice to me lol

✨OC FICS ARE WELCOME✨

✨FEEL FREE TO SELF PROMOTE OR TAG AUTHORS FOR ME TO CHECK OUT✨

Current Obsessions:

HARRY POTTER UNIVERSE:

-willing to read almost any ship at least once unless it's an adult with a child bc fuck that

*Fuck JKR and Fuck TERFs*

•Good Slytherin Fics

•Regulus Black (could be an OC fic or could be a ship I don't have listed, I'm willing to read almost any ship at least once)

•Jegulus (James Potter x Regulus Black

•Wolfstar (Remus Lupin x Sirius Black)

•Rosekiller (Evan Rosier x Barty Crouch Jr)

•Regulus Black x Evan Rosier x Barty Crouch Jr. (You can throw James in too if you want)

•Dorlene (Dorcas Meadows x Marlene McKinnon)

•Pandora x Lily Evans

•Mary MacDonald x Lily Evans

•Drarry (Draco x Harry)

•Dramione (Draco x Hermione)

•Theomione (Theodore Nott x Hermione)

•Dreomione (Draco x Theo x Hermione)

•Theo x Draco x Pansy x Hermione

•Pansy Parkinson

•Theodore Nott

•Draco Malfoy

•Luna Lovegood

•Luna x Ginny

•Luna x Harry

•Luna x Blaise

•Tom Riddle

•Mattheo Riddle (someone's OC from a HP fic that I have a small obsession with)

•Lorenzo Berkshire (someone's OC from a HP fic that I have a small obsession with)

✨OC FICS ARE WELCOME✨

TVD/TO:

*Kol Mikaelson

*Rebekah Mikaelson

*Davina Clare

*Elijah Mikaelson

*Klaus Mikaelson

*Stefan Salvatore

*Katherine Pierce

*Tyler Lockwood

*Hayley Marshall

*Klaus x Caroline

*Kol x Davina

*Kol x Bonnie

✨OC FICS ARE WELCOME✨

PERCY JACKSON/HEROS OF OLYMPUS:

~willing to read almost any ship at least once tbh

-Annabeth x Percy

-Solangelo (Nico x Will)

-Thalia Grace

-Nico Di Angelo

-Leo Valdez

✨OC FICS ARE WELCOME✨

KANE CHRONICLES:

°Anubis x Sadie

°Carter x Zia

✨OC FICS ARE WELCOME✨

TWILIGHT:

(it might be trash but the fanfictions make me cackle)

*Jasper (but like as long as he isn't racist bc fuck that)

*Alice

*Jasper x Alice

*Alec Volturi

*Jane Volturi

*Demetri Volturi

*Benjamin (Egyptian Vampire)

*Embry Call

*Paul Lahote

*Quil Artera

*Leah Clearwater

*Seth Clearwater

*Jacob (as long as he respects boundaries and understands the word NO unlike the series)

✨OC FICS ARE WELCOME✨

THE SHADOWHUNTER CHRONICLES:

*Jessamine Lovelace

*Tessa Gray

*Jem Carstairs

*Will Herondale

*Sophie

*Cecily Herondale

*Tessa x Jem

*Tessa x Will

*Magnus Bane

*Izzy Lightwood

*Jace Herondale

*Alec Lightwood

*Clary Fray

*Simon

* Sebastian/Jonathan Morgenstern

*Izzy x Simon

*Alec x Magnus

*Jace x Clary

✨OC FICS ARE WELCOME✨

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

lrhwy 12 reaction (not live cause i wait way too long to make this its growing cheese already)

Simon groaned and threw his hands in the air. “Jace is forcing me to join the gym. I hate the gym. Gyms should be banned, they are a crime against humanity.”

simon is SO ME i dont wanna get fit i just wanna lay down and dream about dragon magnus everyday why is that not allowed

“The trick is to not engage with Jace. Leave his messages on seen.”

my noisy ass can never im obliged to check everything

Alec left the gym and reached the loft, a little angry at everything in the world. He did not even pet the cat that was trying to reach him on the streets.

that how you know it his joker moment

He knew addiction was difficult—no, not just difficult, he knew it was earth-shattering and destructive for people who were going through it, but Alec could never get it.

well i think that the common things about addiction (and in general other tough things people go through that you have no experience of) you can only help them and be with them, the journey have to be made by them

One of them had brown hair and black eyes. He was wearing an ugly jacket with cargo pants.

#stopclotheshaming

He whispered in the man’s ears, “I don’t think she was very impressed.”

this can come up pretty flirty idk idk dont ask me idk

The woman thanked him and gave him her number, and Alec pretended to care about it.

cant believe alec gay ass willingly flirt with a woman just to get punched, nothing going on in there

“Why don’t you meet us outside, pretty boy, and we will show you who is the real man?”

pretty idiotic boy

But knowing about a problem and actually doing something about that problem were two different things.

me looking at all my abandoned wip

“I just got caught in some stupid fight. It was nothing.” Magnus knew Alec was lying, but he did not call him out on that; he just brought Alec’s hands to his mouth and kissed them softly.

this my shit right here right fucking hereeeee

the middle is just too painful i cant talk about my therapist cant talk about it my doctor advise me my superpower mutant gene wouldnt develop if i start about it so i wouldnt talk about it you gotta believe me. also the way malec stay away from each other is like me staying away from sugar near bedtime, we love each other but we will only bring misery in that time like right person wrong wrong time

Magnus, would you like to try a long-distance relationship with someone who you are not even in a relationship with?

it the start of rom-com, sometime u gotta believe

“And?” He repeated his question.

“For myself. I didn’t like how I was before, so I’m doing this for myself too.” Magnus breathed.

i love these part time idiots so much they just understand each other!

“I think more people should be allowed to be sugar babies. It’s 2022. Normalise golddigging.”

damn if only somebody write a sugar baby alec au if only hahahhahaha (pls write hello pls it too little fic for comfort i need more comfort)

They had texted here and there, but it had mostly been photos of Arrow and Chairman being whiny and sad without each other. 

even their pets are now co-dependent

Ezra was whispering something and chuckling into Alec’s ears, and it irked Magnus.

hiadt au but 10x time this energy maybe ?????????!?!!

Before anything further could happen, Alec burst into laughter. He took out a twenty-dollar bill and passed it to the woman.

part of alec's appeal is he both baby and a bitch, it science

When did Alec start doing the fist bump?

there nothing more brozone than a fist bump sit your jealous ass down

Magnus had a perfectly good shoulder for Alec to hide his face in if he wanted to, thank you very much.

what if erza shoulder are broader, what then

Magnus felt something constricting in his stomach. Like a tight knot.

magnus so hit different target exclusive i picture you with other girls in love and throw up on the street right now

Something akin to pain flashed in his eyes, and Magnus felt like he was missing something.

oh no oh NAH

He rushed back inside and came back with a weighted blanket. Magnus went behind Alec and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders.

casual domesticity why are you doing this to me you know how i feel about this

Alec shrugged. “One should know about their enemy.”

he so me coded first the virgo now the spider and the planning, i would never risk it all for anyone tho

“I loved you incredibly much. But I didn’t propose to you out of love that night. I did it out of need. Out of desperation.” Magnus said, his voice shaky. “It could have been anyone else in the world, and I would have done the same thing.”

my therapist is adding this into the reference page for analyzing me

That was 99.036% less than how much time Alec wanted to spend with Magnus.

if a man make you do math, dump his ass but i guess alec already has

Magnus took a deep breath. “These thighs are government property, you need to take better care of them.”

then dont magnus have to pay fees for touching goverment property, it good business @ alec dm me you need sugar baby coaching

He was so fucking wrong because it only felt like the Alec Lightwood-shaped hole, which was already pretty fucking big in his body, had increased exponentially.

so you filled his hole and he left an even bigger hold on you for the record i not sleep enough

“Ask me.”

Alec’s face contorted in pain. “I can't.”

it like chess game when nobody move first so the chess board just sitting there colleting dust

‘part appeal of alec is that he’s both baby and bitch’- I NEED THESE WORDS TATTOOED ON MY FOREARMS LORD PLS THANKS. Also casual domesticity when you’re not even together is the real shit sjsjs and you are welcome.

Alec flirting with Zara to get Magnus’s no + Magnus flirting with a woman at a club to get his ass beat. Magnus Bane truly out here ruining my gay little baby shhssjsj

your reactions are superior and nonsensically the funniest shit like always.

P.S. you will definitely get the hiadt x10 times this energy lmao.

[tinydancer20]

Whenever I watch the malec breakup scene my mind always goes back to 2x01 when Magnus says “I’m a lot to get used to” and it literally breaks my heart every time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[fbfh]

prolonged bisexual panic - steve harrington x fem reader x billy hargrove

genre: angsty bisexual pining + smut

wc: 5k

pairing: steve x fem reader, billy wants to be in the middle, background jonathan x nancy

warnings: everyone's beat up after an ambiguous monster fight, billy has a lot of self loathing and internalized issues, you kiss billy thinking he's steve cause you're half asleep, billy is actually a good brother and not abusive in this, billy has to come to terms with the fact that he's bi and in love with you and steve, morning wood, dream that takes place in a hospital, jacking off in the shower, billy thinks about you and steve while jacking off in the shower, did I mention boners enough yet, billy cries like twice because you're both nice to him, you call yourself mommy as a joke, let me know if I missed anything I don't have any braincells rn

spoilers: billy and max (cause they're introduced in season 2), brief mention of ambiguous monsters and monster slime

summary: caught between you and steve the night after a battle, billy has nowhere to run from the warmth he feels around you two. he doesn't want to admit how badly he wants to be with both of you because he obviously doesn't stand a chance, but he doesn't really have another option at this point.

music rec: i actually made a playlist this time!! you can listen to it on shuffle if you want but it's in chronological order w the plot yk it's only a few songs so I can link them here too

arms tonight - mother mother, water fountain - alec benjamin, caught in the middle - paramore, i/me/myself - will wood, verbatim - mother mother, sudden desire - hayley williams, bizarre love triangle - new order

a/n: why did the writers do billy so dirty.... I could have made sure he was okay.... "i can fix him" yeah well I can add him to my f/o list

also I'm about to start season 3 so no spoilers lol

also also I feel like this is probs some of my best work so far so PLS let me know!!!! give me feedback and validation!!!! rant to me on anon!!!! I wanna hear it you can not possibly annoy me bc I'M the annoying one!!!!! <33

ALSO I've decided to be that bitch and start including outfits in fics again so enjoy this and follow my shoplook!!

as with all nsfw works, all participating characters (steve, billy, and reader) are aged up to 18+, minors obviously dni <3

One benefit of Steve’s parents barely ever being home is that when shit hits the fan, and you’re up late into the night fighting interdimensional monsters, everyone can crash at his place, no questions asked. The older kids - you, Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, and Billy - had gotten everyone over to Steve’s place, ordered some pizza, and set up movies and a giant pillow fort in the living room for the younger kids in hopes that it would help them sleep, and gotten to bed yourselves before three in the morning. It doesn’t sound like much, but after the night you’ve all had, you’ll consider it a victory. You told them more times than you can count, if they need anything you’ll all be right upstairs, wake someone up if you need anything. Jonathan and Nancy had taken the guest room, for obvious reasons, leaving you, Billy, and Steve to crash in Steve’s (in your opinion, garishly plaid) room.

Asleep on your feet, getting ready for bed through nothing more than muscle memory, you and Steve peel off your superfluous layers, leaving you in a baggy tee shirt and sweatpants respectively, and fall into bed without a second thought, asleep within minutes. Neither of you notice the compromising position you’re in, or the intimate touches and soft breathy kisses you share out of habit.

Billy, however, does notice. Mainly because as you fell into bed with each other, he got caught in the middle. He was half asleep minutes ago, but he’s definitely awake now. He barely had time to pull off his jeans, much less put on the pajama pants Steve had tossed at him, so clad in nothing more than boxers and a tank top, you and Steve press your forms into his. Part of him wishes he'd left his jeans on, but with your hand already slipping under his shirt and Steve’s on his thigh, he doesn’t think it would have made much difference.

Steve’s arm is under Billy's head, face in his hair, his other hand sleepily caressing Billy's thigh, sending heat to his core. Warmth radiates off his bare chest, and Billy feels a part of him that was always a little annoyed that Steve was never on the skins team during basketball, one he never let himself acknowledge, flood with catharsis. Curiosity, he always told himself, a type of curiosity only satisfied by locker rooms and… whatever situation he finds himself in now.

You nuzzle your face into his neck, and he lets out a quiet, breathy sigh. He can't stop himself from resting his hand on the dip of your waist. Your shirt riding up from the curve of your hip, his hands seem to move on their own, brushing up and down your waist. He finds a subtle indent on your hip where the elastic of your underwear rests, and he traces the soft material, digging in his heels as his mind wanders places he knows it shouldn’t go.

Laying between you, touching and cuddling you both is such a bizarre sensation; as campy as it may sound, he truly never thought he’d be close to both of you like this. There’s no doubt that he’s wanted to be, desperately, for some time, but he’d always written it off as another self destructive pipe dream.

He’d tried earlier today. He really did. You had just finished patching up and settling down the kids, and were passing around first aid kits to the older siblings. One was given to Jonathan and Nancy, one to Billy, and you and Steve had used the supplies in the bathroom. He had lurked outside the bathroom door, trying to work up the nerve to join you, even just existing separately in the same space would have been enough.

He watched you two through the bathroom door, with you standing in between Steve’s legs while his hands skimmed up and down your hips, finally resting on the small of your back. Your hand under his chin, guiding his face around, you assessed his injuries. He’d gotten away with just a black eye and a busted lip, as he always seems to, and you dabbed at the skin gently with a cotton ball. Steve winced slightly at the sting, and Billy could just make out your voices, quietly floating to the doorway.

“Y’know,” Steve started, “I think I’m gonna need a lot of get better kisses to recover from this one,” he trailed off, pulling you closer to him. He just had to walk in the room. Just enter, and make conversation, and keep doing what he was doing before.

“Woah, tiger,” you said with a laugh as he leaned in, grabbing antiseptic cream from the counter, “you won’t be able to kiss anyone if you don’t let me fix your lip.”

You patted his chest, readjusting his face to get a better look. Steve’s eyes got a dreamy sort of look to them, and in that moment, anyone in the room could feel how profound and tangible his love for you is.

He couldn't do it.

Breath pulled from his lungs, Billy returned to Steve’s room, your laughter echoing down the hall at something one of you had said. Misery seemed to pump from his heart through his veins, spreading throughout his entire body.

Now he doesn’t have to wonder what your hands would feel like on his chest, or what Steve’s arms would be like loosely wrapped around him. He doesn’t have to wonder what your shampoo would smell like, or what Steve’s sleepy sighs feel like against his skin. Now, lying here with you, both of you, it’s surreal how fast the tides have turned, how fast that deep resounding sadness has turned into overwhelming warmth and fulfillment. Even if it doesn’t mean anything by sunrise, he knows it will to him.

Even still, he feels like he's being torn apart. At this point, he can’t deny how badly he wants this, how he'll take any scraps of attention, or even passive inclusion, you and Steve might throw him, but for reasons infuriatingly beyond his understanding, his instincts keep telling him to run. That this warmth he's feeling is too much and he'll get burned, or worse, accustomed to it, never able to survive in the inevitable coldness of solitude again. And then what? He just curls up and dies? He lets out an irritated sigh. Frustration, many kinds of it, continues to build.

He squeezes his eyes shut, blinking heavily as he tries to stay awake. He can’t dwell on that distress, as much as he might like to; every breath, every touch of your skin on his, the warmth radiating off of you and onto him keeps him painstakingly in the present. Touching both of you like this, soft and gentle, is so intense, a strange sort of high he’s never felt anywhere else. His long building panic begins to plateau, as he settles into the unwavering sensation of being between you like this. He finds himself blinking more and opening his eyes less, your comforting touches and his prior exhaustion finally catching up with him.

He doesn’t want to sleep. He doesn’t want to risk the miniscule chance that something might happen, and he would sleep through it. He feels you moving, heart in his throat, looking at you nervously. He doesn’t want you to wake up and be disgusted at being so close to him. You’re so kind to everyone, he knows you’d never say that, but he couldn’t live with himself if he knew he’d made you feel that way.

But you don’t wake up. You stretch, arms and legs elongating, your hand getting dangerously close to his hips, before settling back into a comfortable position. Your hips rock against his thigh a few times as you get comfortable, and he bites his lip, trying desperately not to make any noise. Your hand, no longer resting on the bare skin of his stomach, grabs onto the collar of his shirt, pulling it gently. And it stays like that. There you are again, Steve’s breath ghosting steadily over his face, you pressed into his side. In this new position, he can feel the soft flesh of your chest against his.

It’s too much. He wants to get up and leave, and he wants to stay here forever, leaning into this newfound warmth, but he does nothing. He lays there, paralized, choking on conflict. He squeezes his eyes shut, breathing growing ragged as he tries to calm himself, stay in control of his emotions. He’s really glad you’re both sound asleep and not awake to see the stray tears that slip down his cheeks.

He feels you stir again, and tries to force his breathing to slow down. Your hand leaves his chest, and rises softly to his cheek. He flinches slightly as you brush away the tears rolling down his face with the most gentle touch he thinks he’s ever felt in his life. A new wave of deep sadness hits, the tenderness of your gesture making him want to cry more. You shift, pressing a soft, sleepy kiss to his formerly tear stained cheeks. The feeling amplifies.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you murmur in his ear, emulating nothing but pure love and warmth, “I’ve got you, you’re okay…” You continue pressing soft kisses into the side of his face and neck, hand rubbing soothing circles on his chest and stomach.

“You’re okay Stevie.”

In spite of the reassuring tone of your voice, he thinks being split open and gutted with a cleaver would hurt less. He stares at the ceiling, your touch hypnotic.

“I love you.” you say into his ear, pressing a kiss into his jaw. “You’re just… the sweetest person, and I love you so much…”

Slowly, turning his head toward yours, he watches your silhouette in the dark room, moonlight illuminating everything in a surreal, blue cast. Slowly, tenderly, he leans down, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You hum in approval, pace of your hand on his chest and stomach slowing down. He begins to get caught up in the soothing, hypnotic current of your movements, unaware that he’s even closed his eyes.

He soon finds himself in an uncomfortable plastic chair along the hall of a hospital. He’s filled with a visceral sense of disgust and sickening dread. He’s waiting, stuck stagnant on news that may or may not come. A hand comes up, and he recognizes it as Steve’s. He gently guides Billy’s head to the side, resting on his shoulder, arm around him. His free hand rests on Billy’s leg, and Billy places his own shaking hand on top of it. Soon after your hand covers his, thumb rubbing his skin reassuringly. Your free arm wraps loosely around his waist as you sit curled up in the seat next to him, resting your head on his chest.

And you stay like that.

As doctors and nurses and hospital staff rush around, completely ignoring him, he waits. He’s still full of that sickening, miserable, cold feeling, but you and Steve are completely unshaken, unbothered; still, but not stagnant. The waiting, not even bothering to beg doctors and nurses for any kind of information because he knows they won’t give him anything, is still horrible, but with you and Steve here, beacons of peace and tranquility, it’s enough to take the edge off. Enough to make it bearable. He’s not sure what happens next, as his consciousness is pulled quickly back to a waking state.

His head is turned away from you, resting on Harrington’s arm, his eyes damp again. He’s awake, Billy realizes, from the comforting shushing noises he’s making.

“It’s okay, I’m right here baby…” he mutters, voice thick with sleep, and presses a kiss to the top of Billy’s head.

“You know I love you, right?”

His words hang in the air.

Billy nods slowly in confirmation. Just to make sure he doesn’t wake up, he tells himself, nothing to do with how much time he’s spent avoiding imagining what a love confession from Harrington would be like. Even he can see how thinly veiled that load of bullshit is.

“Cause I do.” Harrington says, breaking the late night silence once again, “I love you lots.”

There might have been more, but he’s asleep again within moments. It’s not what he thought it would be like, not even close - even his wildest fantasies never would have placed him in this situation - but he’ll take what he can get. He feels his breathing fall in line with yours and Steves, eyes blinking slower and slower.

His mind is awake before his eyes open. All of the muscles in his body are relaxed, and he’s so warm. He’s hit with the distinct, resounding feeling that something really, really good has happened, but he shouldn’t question what it is, or it will just disappear from his grasp. If he plays his cards exactly right, and doesn’t move too fast, he won’t break this beautiful delicate thing he’s been given.

Someone moves behind him, and his eyes open. Your face is barely an inch away from his, his arm slung over your waist. One of your legs rests between his, his dick rock hard and cushioned by your soft thigh. Steve shifts behind him, letting out a sigh that fans over Billy’s neck as he wakes up. Face flushing, Billy realizes that he can feel Steve, who has the same problem, hard and right up against him.

You stretch, and sit up, turning to face them. As if you couldn’t get any sweeter, you very politely ignore the fact that Billy was practically just grinding into your thigh.

“Morning,” you yawn, and his chest squeezes. How are you so fucking cute? Steve rolls over, either not noticing or not caring that he’d just had his dick up against Billy’s ass. Billy’s not sure which is worse. He picks up the clock on the nightstand.

“What time is it?” he says, still obviously groggy. His hair is messy and his cheeks are flushed from sleep.

“God, I don’t even know,” you say with another stretch, your shirt riding up and exposing your hips and waist. He can handle this, he can just be normal. Act like nothing weird happened. You let out the softest, breathy little moan when you stretch.

“Last night was really something, huh?” You ask rhetorically, with the jovial, almost conspiratory look you get from sharing an inside joke or a secret with someone. Billy’s heart is pounding. He looks over at Steve, who looks between you two with the same look.

“Yeah,” he says with a chuckle. He wonders if this is it, if… he doesn’t know what would finally happen. He just knows he’ll say yes if it’s with you two. Steve continues.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many monsters in one place.”

Right.

The big event that happened last night was fighting a horde of monsters, not three people sharing a bed. He stands up abruptly, his flight response going into overdrive now that he’s not at risk of waking you up.

“I’m going to take a shower.” he says, quickly making his way to the door.

“Yeah,” Steve starts, “the bathroom’s right down the-”

He’s out the door before Steve can finish. A few feet down the hall, he hesitates, and circles back to Steve’s door, hearing your voices faintly through the small opening.

“I know, I did too! You’d think we’d be up all night from the adrenaline, but I was out like a light.”

“Yeah, maybe we should have Billy sleep with us more often…”

A fresh wave of heat hits his cheeks, and his cock is straining against his underwear. He rushes to the bathroom and closes the door firmly.

Maybe we should have Billy sleep with us more often. You don’t say shit like that unless you’re into someone, right? Maybe… maybe he wasn’t completely delusional about how he felt last night. If you didn’t want to be with him, you would have hated waking up next to him, right? God, he wants to be with you so fucking much.

He looks over at the sink and remembers you patching up Steve. He braces himself against the wall with one arm, imagining Harrington's arms around his waist. He mimes tilting Steve's head back, tending to his injuries. He can almost hear his voice asking him for get better kisses, his tone cocky in a way that makes a wistful smile ghost over his face. He sits on the closed toilet, head tilted back like Steve's had been, and imagines your soft, caring touch. He wonders what little nicknames you’d come up with for him… maybe cowboy, or hot shot. He lets out a weepy, yearning laugh rubbing his hands over his face. Whatever it is, it would sound so cute coming from you. It always does. He wonders if you’d pat his chest like you did with Harrington, or maybe run your hand through his hair a few times.

He tries to catch his breath but memories from last night won’t stop replaying in his head, and he finds himself touching all the places you did last night. His hand grips the collar of his shirt, mimicking yours, fingers trail along his thigh like Steve's did.

"You know I love you, right?"

He's palming himself, hand already sticky with precum, almost poking out of his boxers. Steve's voice echoes in his head and he feels you kissing tears off his face.

"Cause I do. I love you lots." Your hands rub soothing circles on his chest and stomach, his pace increases… He's still there mentally, lying between you, perfume and cologne mixing and mingling into something completely intoxicating that he doesn't want to stop breathing, even if he's getting high off it and- Jesus Christ, he has to get rid of this morning wood right now.

He turns the water on hot; he gave up on cold showers a while ago. They don't help him, not when it's you two he's thinking about. He strokes himself as he peels off his clothes, frustrated and desperate and heavy. He steps into the hot water, wishing his hands were yours… or maybe your mouth. Maybe Steve’s hands... your hands, Steve's mouth?

Any of it.

All of it.

He throws his head back against the tiles, cool in contrast with the water so hot it's already making his skin pink. He can't fight his mind for much longer, can't stop the torrent of images and desires, imagined touch ghosting over his skin. He pants, breath heavy with lust and steam in the air. He wishes something would happen, wishes you'd have the sudden desire to break down the door and join him. He wishes you'd barge in together, one shoving their tongue down his throat, the other sucking hickeys into his neck. He increases his pace, finally getting somewhere.

You would bang on the door before entering, tear off your clothes and squeeze into the tight space with him, because…

“Because we can’t keep our hands off you,” he imagines your voice, so breathy and cute and close to him. Your hands would touch him all over, quickly making their way to his cock.

“Besides, do we need a reason?” Harrington would ask from behind, caging you both in with his strong arms, his lips dangerously close to Billy’s ear.

God, he wants you so bad, wants your cute little body pressed up against him, wants to feel Harrington’s hands grope him, going down, down, down… he wonders if he could actually have sex with you, both of you, or if it would be too much for him.

“I guess we’ll just have to practice,” you’d say, hands in his hair, pulling him down into an open mouthed kiss.

“We’ll have you trained up in no time,” Steve would murmur into his neck before sucking another hickey. What he wouldn’t give for you to ravage his body, have your way with him. He knows he’d love it too. He never thought of himself as submissive before but…

His mind continues to wander.

Harrington, he realizes, he’s seen naked before, in the locker room. A shameful heat rises to his cheeks as he recalls every carefully stored memory, every carefully defined muscle. He can picture him here now, hair wet, strong arms glistening, hand grabbing Billy’s chin. He’d run his thumb over Billy’s lips with that fiery look in his eyes he only gets when something is really important.

You, however… he’s never seen you like that. His imagination takes off running, thinking back to how you felt pressed up against him, the soft skin of your bare legs rubbing against his.

He slides down the wall of the shower slowly, growing closer. He wonders what you’d feel like in his hands, in his arms, for real this time. He’d slide down the shower wall like he is now, you coming down with him. You’d straddle his hips, body soft in front of him against the hard wall. Your nails dragging down his chest and through his hair, you’d look up at him taking all the breath from his lungs. You’re so pretty, you’re both so pretty. He wants to be pretty. He wants to be pretty to you.

He wants both of you.

He wishes you were both in here, as desperate to be with him as he is to be with you. He wishes he was sandwiched between you again, four hands groping him, pulling at his hair, helping him out, touching him where he needs it most.

A loud knock at the door, followed by your voice snaps him out of his train of thought. He stands up, startled.

"Billy?" You call again. He freezes.

"Yeah?" His voice cracks. He can't make out what you say.

"Can we come in?" You ask again. His heart is in his throat. There is nothing he wants more than for you to come in right now. But god, he was so close. He waits, cock still hot and throbbing in his hand. He can’t keep jerking off to the thought of his friends absolutely ruining him when you’re right there, right?

“Yeah,” he says again. The door creaks open, and the temperature drops as steam billows out, your voices taking its place.

“We’re doing some laundry to get the rest of the… slime… out of our clothes,” you say, recalling how repulsive those monsters were, “so which one do you want?”

He barely processes what you’re saying, terrified you’ll somehow find out exactly what he’s doing and why he’s doing it, terrified you can somehow see through him and into his thoughts. In spite of how impossible it is, he’s terrified at the thought of either of you being… disgusted with him? With everything he's thinking about you? He's terrified, terrified you’ll hate him, cast him out like a horny lusting pariah. It’s not like you’re even that close to begin with, no matter how much he might like to be.

“What?” he asks, brain fogged with confusion and thoughts of you.

“Detergent. What are they again?” you ask the second part more quietly, and Steve’s voice now bounces against the walls, still groggy from sleep.

“Clean linen or April fresh.”

“Uh…”

“Blue or pink?” Steve asks again, simplifying the question.

“Both.” he blurts before he can think.

“Okay,” you say, “we’ll let you know when your clothes are clean.”

“I have some stuff for you to borrow until then.” Steve adds, “I’ll leave it on the counter.”

“Sounds good.” Billy says, trying not to sound snappy. He lets out a shaky, haggard breath.

“Breakfast is cereal and leftovers,” you begin.

“And a lot of coffee.” Steve interjects. You continue with a chuckle.

“You can come whenever you’re ready.”

“Right.” he can come whenever he’s ready.

“Thanks.” he blurts as an afterthought.

After what feels like an eternity (and simultaneously not nearly long enough) the door is closed and he’s once again alone with his thoughts. He braces himself against the wall, water dripping down his face, right hand lazily holding his cock, now gripping it with a newfound fervor. He pants, grinding into his hand, wishing he had something or someone - or someones - to help him out a little.

He wonders what you would do if you were getting Harrington off. Images of you pumping his cock and pulling his hair, whispering dirty shit in his ear flood Billy’s mind. For the thousandth time, he imagines being right in the middle of it. Back pressed against Steve’s broad chest, you straddling his lap, telling him how to touch himself… Finally, it’s enough to send him over the edge. He humps into his hand, and muscles contracting, balls twitching, and climaxes hard. Riding out his high, he pumps out all the thick hot cum that’s been building up - and hopefully the feelings building up along with it.

He sinks to his knees and watches it go down the drain, panting and light headed. Once he catches his breath, he stands back up. Right as he reluctantly turns off the water, the door opens again. His stomach drops. If he had come in any sooner… he wonders if you could hear him over the running water.

“Clothes are on the counter.” Steve says, now sounding more awake, the smell of coffee wafting and mingling with the steam in the room. Billy runs a hand through his wet hair, brushing it back, and thanks him.

“Need a towel?” Steve asks.

“Yeah,” Billy says, and he watches as a moment later Steve’s hand pokes past the shower curtain, handing him the fluffy material, their fingers brushing as he takes it from him.

“Thanks,” he says, slightly breathless.

“No problem.” Steve says casually. The door opens and closes, and Billy is alone again. He wraps the towel around his waist, stepping out into the rest of the bathroom. He looks at the clothes on the counter; gray sweatpants and a led zeppelin tee shirt, knot tied in the front. He recognizes the sweatpants as Steve’s, and the shirt as yours. A soft smile kisses the corners of his lips.

Once he’s dried off and dressed, he decides to leave the shirt tied up, even though it shows a lot more of his midriff than he’s used to. He can picture you clear as day in this exact shirt, casually gathering the material and twisting it until it’s knotted up. He looks at the folds in the fabric, face warm, and is struck with the sudden realization that if this shirt ever got untied, it would never be tied in the exact same way ever again. It will always be different.

A sudden outburst of laughter from down stairs snaps him out of his train of thought. He has to face you eventually, he thinks, opening the bathroom door and beginning his descent down the stairs to rejoin everyone, he can’t put it off any longer. He heads down the stairs and into the living room, ruffling Max’s hair and exchanging good mornings.

“Did you sleep okay?” he and Max are newest to all this stuff, and he the last thing he wants is for her to be afraid of anything. He takes solace in the fact that it’s not everyone’s first time at the rodeo.

“Yeah,” she replies, seeming as normal as could be expected under the circumstances, which puts his mind at ease. “How about you?”

“I…” he trails off, knowing this is the worst possible time and place to bare his soul and confess his sins, “slept. I guess.”

“Coffee’s in the kitchen.” she replies without missing a beat.

“So I heard,” he mutters, before heading in that direction. He enters the kitchen, stopping in the doorway

Steve is smothering you in kisses, turning you into a giggling mess. You playfully smack his chest, and he barely pulls away enough to talk.

“Y’know, you really should be nicer to me. I have a booboo eye.”

“Oh, of course,” you say, feigning concern, “I’ll call an ambulance right away.”

“Y’know, a sexy nurse would probably do the job,” he says quietly, nuzzling into your neck.

“Oh… my god.” you laugh in disbelief, “You really are the worst, Harrington, you know that?”

It gets hard to breathe for a minute, as everything he felt last night, and this morning come rushing back, full force. He lets out a soft laugh at the situation. He actually thought he had all this under control for a minute. All of this is amplified as you hand him a cup of coffee.

“Morning sleepyhead,” you smile, passing by. Steve pats his chest

“Will you tell her she’d be an amazing nurse?”

Billy, too flustered to think but just fucking overjoyed to be included, scrambles for an answer.

“I mean…” he says with a smile he hopes comes across as cocky and not lovestruck.

You turn to Steve.

“You’re a terrible influence. I don’t want you around my kids.”

“Oh they’re your kids now?”

“Call me mommy!” you call over your shoulder. Steve and Billy watch you walk away, and Steve says, partially to himself, partially to Billy, “I can not get enough of her, you know?” Steve follows you back into the living room. Billy watches both of you drink coffee and eat breakfast, chatting with the kids.

“Yeah,” he breathes, once again wracked with a visceral sense of longing, a deep empty feeling, the cure for which is painfully within grasp but still intangible, in spite of how much he might try, “I do.”

tag list: @hopefullhearts

[angstyx]

Attention

CC!Dream x Reader

Word Count: 430+ words

Summary: Dream tries to get your attention by poking you

TW: cursing, dream being a clingy mf

Requested?: [Yes] [No]

Note: this is a fic for @jschllatt's 1k event! I had fun writing this and I hope you like it! :)

also the gif does not fit the scenario but ignore that pls

Prompt [bolded]:

"i’m not going to stop poking you until i get your attention.”

Masterlist // Rules for Requesting

───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────

"C'mon, I promise I'll be done soon, alright? Now stop giving me those puppy eyes, you know I can't resist them."

Your boyfriend pouts at you and you just roll your eyes as you make your way to your room.

You had to finish your homework as it was due in a few days and you didn't want anything to distract you at all.

Sitting on your chair, you hear the door open slowly and you don't have to look to know who it was. You decide to just ignore the person at the door as he makes his way in.

"Clay please I'm busy right now, I promise I'll be done in a bit," you say without taking your gaze off your paper.

"But I want cuddlessss." Your boyfriend drags out the last word and you had to hold in a smile at how adorable he was being.

"And I'll cuddle with you later after I'm done." A huff leaves Clay and the next few minutes pass in silence, making you think that your boyfriend left the room. Well, that's until you felt something or rather someone poking your arm.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion and wonder who was poking you only to see your boyfriend sitting on the floor right next to your chair, poking your leg over and over again.

"Clay what are you doing?"

“i’m not going to stop poking you until i get your attention.”

You scoff at him as you watch him continue to poke your leg over and over again and soon you decide to just give in as you knew your boyfriend was quite stubborn.

"Okay fine I'll give you cuddles." Immediately a smile appears on your boyfriend's face and you ignore the butterflies fluttering in your stomach and how warm your face feels.

How could someone be that cute?

Standing up, Clay grabs your hand and drags you to you two's shared bedroom and you laugh as the both of you flop onto the bed with your boyfriend's arms wrapped around you.

"You know, I still have to finish my homework. It has to be done soon."

Your boyfriend holds you tighter and brings you close to him as you laugh. You knew that no matter how much you struggled to get out of his grasp, you were going to fail. So instead of doing just that, you decide to snuggle into your boyfriend instead as his body heat warms you up.

"Fuck your homework, I want cuddles."

You can't help it as a smile makes its way to your face.

───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────

Taglist: @thenotsohottopic @0-0littlem0-0 @bi-narystars @707xn @sakurapartridge @ryxjxnnx @boiciph3r @maxiewritesfanfic @nightwalkercrescent @missusstark @multifandomgirl-us @sophia902103 @sunnyxlove @marrymetheonott @voidgonemissing @alec-lost-bee @ttakinou @izuruus @chaoticotaku @joyfullymulti @oh-mcyt @sxltedcxramel @dawnfallx @blushingduckling @lacunaanonymoused @blueberrystigma @beepbopbee @sirsleeps @dazedgxth @saturnhas82moons

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[scott-mccall-the-hot-girl]

THINGS I NEED IN THE TEEN WOLF MOVIE: a disaster list !!

theo raeken full fledged redemption

theo raeken afTER THE battle ?? iS BIG STILL HOMELESS ,, plEASE TIE UP THE LOOSE ENDS

exploring or at least acknowledging the overlooked trauma (ex: mason as the beast, scott ripping his actual eyes out, parrish actually dying and being possessed by a fire god ect.)

stydia !! just them being all domestic & all six seasons of build up for them to finally be happy

either scalia endgame or a break up on good terms and wlw malia

i literally love scalia so much though…

puppy pack !! PUPPY PACK !!

scott & stiles just being scott & stiles

the parents but now, they are just older & over this supernatural bullshit

scott being a really good alpha ,, like we were intoduced to alec in the finale but maybe a few more wayward werewolves

finding out what happened to monroe

like did they ever find her ?? i hope that bitch is rotting in jail

or alternatively having an official fight against the hunters ,, no anuk-ite making them crazy some good old fashions werewolves vs hunters with nods to the first two seasons with the argents

okay i’m holding out for thiam but i know it’s unlikely jUST GIVE ME THE BOYS TOGETHER

being partners on a mission and having to either reunite after several years oR being best fucking friends and just fighting together as well as that day at the hospital

KIRA FUCKING YUKIMARUA ,, BRING HER BACK or At lEAST ACKNOWLEDGE her

same with issac ,, someone get daniel on the phone

also if we bring back mr. lahey i need him & argent to bond AND i’m expecting a french accent

i knOW THE JEEP WAS IN THE TRAILER but it’s a very important character to me OKAY

a goOD CONCEPT !! like a concrete plot

gOOD CGI !! PLEASE I BEG !!

cora hale ,, this one is unlikely but she was pretty fucking cool

did i mention that i’m very excited for theo raeken bECAUSE ITS A BIG DEAL AND HE DESERVES A VERY IMPORTANT ROLE

i’m kinda conflicted bc holland roden is icky BUT lydia scenes <3

like imagine lydia finally perfecting and having absolute control of my banshee abilities !!

scott having a big house that he keeps the pack in when they are in beacon hills ( like some fucking werewolf hotel ) & gives them like carrot sticks # mommy scotty

okay okay this one is far fetched but give somebody a baby , i don’t even like babies but i think it would be funny

corey & mason bc they are the least problematic of the bunch

chimera bonding between corey & theo

DID I MENTION THE PUPPY PACK ??

hayden but a le$bean

coach !! i need more coach

preferably liam and scott being out on the field either helping the lacrosse team OR

we need some pack lacrosse game !!

i love the opening sequence !! I WANNA HEAR THAT MUSIC AND SEE ALL OF THEM AND LOOSE MY ACTUAL MIND !!

aka give cody an opening card pls n thanks <3

nolan !! hunter redemption,, like let argent adopt the boy or something

peter hale !! being very peter-ish

malia & peter BONDING !! give me father daughter bonding !!

a reference to both elevator scenes, ifykyk

[pebblesrus]

Eliot has a classic addictive personality - devotion and addiction are two sides of the same coin. I would like to join you in this niche addict!Eliot au/headcanon/naughty step.

Addicted to anything that will fill the hole (not drugs never drugs you're absolutely right) - and combined with The Worst AU is. Mm. Delicious. He's addicted to Moreau he's addicted to the team he loves it he hates it he needs it. How do you leave when you can't tell the difference between love and craving? When the thought of leaving cramps your stomach and makes your heart race and you gasp for breath - is it love or withdrawal?

Anyways. Pls share any and all thoughts you might have. <3

YEAH THAT’S THE THING. eliot is a collection of red flags but still has control over everything he does. but, the reason i don’t have a hc* about eliot being addicted to something is because i think he is but it’s pain so we don’t talk about it because it’s his job 

*to me, a hc is something that occurs inside canon and an au is something that occurs anywhere from just to the left of canon to outer space. this is a personal preference of how i differentiate them and is not actually important sorry 4 the sidebar 

under the cut bc this is a hard topic also bc i have a problem and it’s uhhh 4 pages long 

background 

so i kinda lost it in the comments on this post, finch i am deeply sorry 

this is too much ummmmmm so there exists in my brain a very niche au where eliot is addicted to…something. anything to take the pain away. alcohol. sex. pain itself. gambling. hell, stealing? he is working with a group of thieves after all. (but not drugs, never drugs. nothing more than an ibuprofen if alec really begs with his eyes. bc if he goes down that path he’ll never be strong enough to come up for air) 

and like. his addition informs his whole relationship with nate and calling nate out on his shit. eliot’s personally gone too far (he’s not worth helping) but nate is a Good Man who had something awful happen to him (eliot is a bad man who did something awful). but at some point he starts to trust the team with bits and pieces of this Problem etc etc. but hell au version like. it just all goes real fuckin wrong HUH

i have a post somewhere abt nate & eliot & alcohol its just so compelling 2 me 2 compare characters in ways that no one should

so i did find the time i talked about eliot and nate and addition, here, cut down for relevant portions:

do you ever wonder if eliot doesn’t drink (to the point of drunk) because he’s afraid of who it will make him? because alcohol is a drug and drugs make him lose control.

because control is the only thing that keeps him together. without it—it’s harder to not kill someone who hurts others (like he used to) and it’s easier to forget who he used to be.

nathan ford, furnace of rage, drank because he hurt and he couldn’t live all his pain. but eliot knows nothing but pain—how to endure it, how to inflict it—but he doesn’t know who he would be without it.

“you ever count them?”  “there’s nothing you can do, no punishment you can hand out that’s worse than what i live with every day. so, to answer your question, no. no, I haven’t counted. i don’t need to.”

if he could (artificially) drown himself, would he ever come up for air?

okay so as i said, my general hc for eliot is that he does not need a vice because his job is his vice, because, well, 

“you fight like something's trying to get out of you.”

but, for an au with an addiction (but not hell au) 

i think the addition would start after moreau. because the two worst parts of eliot’s life were working for a pmc and working for moreau. after the pmc toby saved him. but after moreau? it takes seven years before he is fully free of his past (end of s5). [timeline, for reference]

and if he’s going to get addicted to something, it’s gotta be in at least the 3 years between moreau and joining leverage. 

another thing i wrote earlier was,

“the worst thing i ever did in my entire life i did for damien moreau. and i— i'll never be clean of that.”

the thing is, eliot never denies that he did bad things. he never tires to justify them. he never—okay so what i said on an earlier post was, there might be a single “worst” act he’s committed but what’s more damaging‚ more of a reason he does not deserve happiness‚ is that the worst thing is what was done to him and what he allowed himself to do and what that made him become. nothing fucks u up like thinking things aren’t Bad Enough until you look back 3 years later and ur brain has been rewired [x]

and also,

“every one of moreau's men has innocent blood on their hands, every one of ‘em. every one of ’em... are worse than me.”

it starts with they’ve got blood on their hands but he doesn’t say they’ve done worse than him. he says they are worse than him. because it’s not about the act it’s about the person you have to be to complete that act. the worst thing he’s ever done—t’s not the bloodiness he doesn’t want the team to know about, it’s the inhumanity. [x]

all of this to say, eliot doesn’t lie—he doesn’t even try to lie. he never pretends he’s a good man. [x]

so in this entire decade where all he can see when he closes his eyes are the faces of the people he’s killed, 

there’s this quote i like about addiction—every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move though your own pain. every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. whatever the substance you are addicted to—alcohol, food, legal or illegal drugs, or a person—you are using something or somebody to cover up your pain. (eckhart tolle)

eliot can’t face his pain anymore. being freelance means he doesn’t get in fights often enough to hide the real pain behind bruised ribs. so he turns to something else. i honestly can’t choose what. there’s a good argument for many addictions, all except actual painkillers. 

an au with addiction, hell au version 

i think that moreau would not let eliot have an addiction. 

i also think that moreau knows eliot. he sees the possibly and takes it away. i talk about eliot as an enforcer for moreau but i think that he’s more than that—not even getting to the personal level of things (that he means more to moreau)—in a purely employer-employee-transactional way, eliot is too valuable to the organization to take hits. so moreau doesn’t let him. doesn’t let him have any outlet. he controls every other part of eliot’s life, why not this too?

(uhh this is kinda related, but i have a pre canon hc where moreau pits his men against each other like a dog fight. and when eliot has pissed him off he throws eliot in but eliot is Not Allowed to take hits. it’s not that eliot cares about the men he works with, but like, he's trying to forget what he’s doing on a day to day basis, he doesn’t want to come home to more of it, he doesn’t want to have to look his coworker in the face tomorrow to see the violence in him reflected in the form of a black eye etc etc (yeah......u dont wanna be in my brain))

SO ANYWAY. in the hell au i think the addiction would happen later. not post moreau because there is no post moreau. it would happen exactly when no one would suspect it—when he’s about to get out. 

he’s spent six years with moreau, 2 years with the team, and he’s a fucking disaster, because, as i said in another post, 

he cooks for damien because he cares, he cooks for the team because he cares. [x] he is damien’s personal guard dog because he cares, he is the team’s hitter because he cares. damien is in danger when he’s off robin-hood-ing, the team is in danger when he goes home (literally or figuratively) to moreau. 

and it’s not love…..but is it? and how is he supposed to choose [x]

like you just said, he’s addicted to the team, he’s addicted to moreau. 

love and dependency look a lot a like when you see the world through blood stained glasses (or, the world is blurry because you couldn’t stand the red flecks that stuck to the lenses that you could never seem to completely scrub off).

so, while he is playing cat and mouse with himself and moreau is putting him through the wringer worse than ever before and the team is counting on him to take down the man he might actually be loyal too—

it’s all too much. 

and he turns to this addiction. 

he’s doing enough jobs, taking enough hits to make any other addict cave. but it’s still not enough. this is eliot spencer. after all. he’s got 9 lives worth of trauma. he needs 18 lives of penance. 

again, 

“you fight like something's trying to get out of you.”

“what i need to control is not out there. it's here. always.”

“every one of ‘em. every one of ’em... are worse than me.”

“there’s nothing you can do, no punishment you can hand out that’s worse than what i live with every day.“

and now, in this hell au, the only good thing he’s ever had in his life—this team, the only people who have ever looked at him like he’s a Person and not a Monster—he’s about to destroy. 

so he drowns all that in something. 

[susufromfinland]

My ratings of shadowhunter books (spoilers)

1. TMI: City of bones 2.5/5, great introduction but the writing isnt that good and sometimes little boring

2. TMI: City of ashes 3/5, this would be 5/5 if that “we are siblings, lets till be together” wouldn't be happening. I really love alec and magnus in this but i actually enjoy the plot too. Maia is introduced, yay

3. TMI: City of Glass 3.5/5 i like the plot, i am not loving the “oops kissed my brother again”-thing. Isabella is badass, malec awesome, Aline introduced yeahh. I liked valentine and sebastian as villains. RIP max :(

4. TMI: City of fallen angels 2/5 only good thing in this is simons and jaces friendship and sebastian becoming villain again. Plot was weak. Maia awesome.

5. TMI: City of lost souls 4/5 i really enjoyed the plot and everyone else except clary. Page 511 killed me, cried so much... The end battle was little disappointing.

6. TMI: City of heavenly fire 5/5 i just love this book. I love the plot, i love every main character (even clary is good in this book) i love love love everything. Ending felt little bittersweet which i loved. Writing was good and alec was sassy. Only minus: RAPHAEL DIED!

7. TID: Clockwork angel 3/5 it was good but when i read it first time i really excepted something more, especially from will herondale. I like tessas powers and i am in love with jem but i really dont like tessa and will as characters. Plot was okay but not the best.

8. TID: Clockwork prince 3.5/5 i love jem even more. I dont hate will anymore but definitely rooting for jessa. Tessa was definitely better in this. I enjoy the lightwood siblings really much. And sophie and jessamine. Plot was okay but i cared more for wills plot than the whole plot.

9. TID: Clockwork princess 4.5/5 i love this plot and love every side character, i am even more invested in them than in the main ones. Jem died, hated it (but i knew it had to happen). I just didnt like the wessa endgame. the epilogy killed me.

10. TDA: Lady midnight 4/5 i actually really loved this one! Emma was amazing and her friendship with christine was everything. I was little bored during kit’s story but in the end it made so much sense. The plot was good but sometimes a little boring. I am not super big fan of the “we love each other but cant be together” trope.

11. TDA: Lord of shadows 3.5/5 i absolutely adore kit (and ty and livvy) in this. I hated zara but that was the point. This felt sometimes a little boring but the ending was sad but good. I am glad emma and jules decided to ask for help. AND MALEC IN IT OMG

12. TDA: Queen of Air and Darkness 5/5 this was just incredible. The plot was great, i loved thule. Jemma is happy yay. I loved the battle and i really loved kitty. The ending was just so shocking i excepted everything to be happily ever after. AND MALEC WEDDING I CRIED SO MUCH. I ACTUALLy liked clary in this book. Emma was amazing as always and julian was good. I liked christines ending but i wasnt super invested in her relationship. My man diego really saved himself in this.

13. TLH: Chain of gold 3/5 it was great and the writing was like really really good. Just didnt care for james herondale in this and sometimes felt a little boring. The ending was good. Grace is interesting.

14. TLH: Chain of Iron 4/5 omg i loved this! Cordelia is amazing and i actually liked james in this one. Lucie wasnt good in this, i didnt like her in this book.Everyone else was so good. Grace is just so interesting, Christopher needs more lines, Thomas and Alastair have my heart. Pls someone help Matthew. I ship jordelia. What a cliffhanger in the end cant wait for chainf of thorns.

15. TEC: Red Scrolls of magic 5/5 i know many people didnt love it this much but i just cant help myself. I really enjoyed the plot even tho i knew they would survive. Malec was amazing in this but ALINE AND HELEN were sooo cute. I was crying, i was laughing. My ultimate comfort book, i have read it like 5 times already. I know the rating should probably be lower because of my previous one but sometimes you just like something so much you dont care that it has flaws.

16. TEC: Lost book of the white 4/5 i loved this one too but some characters (like simon) were little weird in this one. I enjoyed the plot but it wasnt the best but i am so excited for the future. RAGNOR IS JUST AMAZING. Magnus and Alec were awesome too.

17. Tales from the shadowhunter academy 3.5/5 I fell in love with simon and george as characters. Malec was so precious. Isabella was complex and interetsing and i enjoyed her. Clary and Simin becoming parabatai was awesome. Some of the stories from the past were reallyy boring. RIP George, i miss him so so so so so much.

18. The Bane chronicles 3/5 some stories were 5/5 some were really boring. But i love magnus (my fav character) so of course i enjoyed this. 

19. Ghosts from the shadow market 4/5 i was happy to read stories from jems pov. Most of the stories were really good and i loved how it wasnt JUST jems pov. Malec of course was amazing but so was kitty, Anna Lightwood and jessa. Story about jace arriving was just heartwarming. Some stories were little boring (a deeper love for example) but it was anyway best from these standalones.

20. The shadowhunter codex 2.5/5 of course it was nice to see book with clarys, simons and jaces writing but overall this was little boring (i am not surprised but i am not fan of these kind of books). I liked to learn new thing but yeah this was really hard to rate because there isnt any story in it.

I am super excited for the future of this world. Sorry for grammar mistakes, english is not my first language.

[bemtevis]

I went through your posts and honestly, it seems like you haven't read TMI ever. Your answers about TLH are almost always fair but when I read the tmi ones you seem to just agree with whatever the anon is saying. It looks kinda petty tbh. There's a difference between criticism and hate, and when you talk about TLH it's really criticism, I like it, but about TMI it seems like you've read it soooo long ago and then had spent most of your time between haters that you stopped even considering their words. You (and the anons who message you about tmi) almost never make a reference to the books and it makes your words almost meaningless, so your points can't make scene to us. We can't learn anything even if you're right. Like in one of them you guys were saying: "Magnus is horrible he refused to help poor Clary" and then I searched all my mind but couldn't find a clue what you were talking about. I don't remember Magnus doing anything in TMI other than some scenes with Alec and the rest was helping Clary and saving Shadowhunter's asses. When I see you agree with whatever nonsense someone sends you it prevents me from enjoying your other criticisms. Pls separate hate and criticism if you can. Cause your tmi post seems so biased. It's sad.

Ksjsjshsjsjsjskakja of course I hate TMI, I try to make that very clear! I read it about two and three years ago, about the same time I read ALL TSC books (except TLH, I read them when they were released), so if my TMI criticism isn't valid then nothing is. Could you, like... give me an example of that? Because I don't remember saying that Magnus didn't help Clary. Like, at all.

Omg you're-you're telling me- I'm BIASED for hating the incest-filled closeted ppl-hating poorly-handled books?! If only I had known! /s. Look, anon, I have no clue what you're refering to. You might've noticed I haven't been the most active TSC blog, especially the most active anti TSC blog, lately, so a bit of specificity would be nice, instead of just accusing me of being a Hater™

Oh, and my criticisms aren't here for you to enjoy, dear anon. They're meant to criticize and that's exactly what they're doing. If criticizing something I hate immediately makes me biased and unvalid... well, guess I'm not a TSC blog anymore! If you don't agree with me, you could be a little more specific than that, otherwise you wrote all that for nothing.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Maybe it's a very small detail, but I loved how you portrayed this side of Alec we love so much. More than the leader, we see the protector right there when the box arrives. Alec literally taking matters into his own hands. He didn't let anyone else touch what was inside the box. The big brother, husband, father, protector of all who, again, literally gets blood on his hands to spare this kind of pain for others.

I know Alec always wanted a better world for Magnus to live in the future, because a world with Magnus Bane is a world much brighter, but if he knew how much the world needs more Alecs out there

I love this so much.

ALSO CAN SOMEONE PLS HELP ME.

So there is this scene in tsc which perfectly captures the second para annie has written here. Alec mentions that even if he is immortal, maybe if the shadow world is good (or shadowhunters are good?), and if alec made the world a little better, magnus would see that and remember alec.

I DON'T REMEMBER WHICH BOOK OR WHERE THE BIT IS FROM AND IT'S BOTHERING ME.

[normal-thoughts-official]

magnus bane can cook anon here. also: cooking is a love language for raphael bc food is so rooted in community/family. they absolutely teach each other traditional recipes. big family meals hosted by father and son pls 🥺 or magnus making a comfort meal for himself when he's feeling nostalgic and inviting cat over for dinner bc she's been so busy and he wants to catch up while also making sure she's nourished--two birds, one stone (he absolutely makes her take home leftovers). let magnus cook...

ugh i know this ask is old but i'm not sure what you mean by "magnus bane can cook anon", like, if you sent me another ask about this, i didn't get it rip. unless it's something i have already answered and i don't remember, in that case i'm sorry

anyway, YOU ARE RIGHT! magnus being unable to cook is preposterous tbh, i will not listen to these lies. HE! IS! INDONESIAN! food is important! and as an immigrant in particular he knows that better than anyone because food is a way to keep connected to his roots, to his love, to his culture. i will not accept any "magnus can't cook" slander, he CAN! plus like you see the way he made alec's stew amazing?? yeah yeah he used magic but i doubt there is a "make this delicious" spell, he needed to have known WHAT he would have done to the stew, add this and this and that to alter the taste, so like? he knows how to handle himself in the kitchen okay and he knows what tastes good and what doesn't, he can cook

and he knows exactly how important food is as a love language and YES him and raphael!!!! i don't have to argue that raphael can cook of course, we all know he does, and again! immigrant! LATINO!!!!! food is so fucking important for latines in general, even non-immigrants, and i imagine that it is even more so for immigrants. it's part of your culture, part of who you are. and like! raphael has been unable to eat for so long! i bet he misses it so much and i think when he wants to thank magnus for something, food is the way to go

especially in the early years. he didn't have much he could have done for magnus when he was just a recently Turned vampire kid with nowhere to go and nothing to his name, but he COULD cook for him. and i bet he was ecstactic to. i hc that magnus grows his own ingredients at home because he simply doesn't trust gringo markets to have good food and while he can and will travel to jakarta every now and then to enjoy a good food market - again, it's an intrinsic part of his culture! of course he wants to go to those when he can, it's not just the food, it's the sharing and the experience - he also wants to grow his own food. plus i think he is attached to plants. you've seen the way he talks to snakes, you mean to tell me he doesn't have a bunch of plants he grows (both for potions and foods) and talks with and grooms and is all loving towards? nonsense. absurd. i won't listen to these lies

and YES i am projecting unto him but i don't care! magnus loves his little plant friends (they have been particularly therapeutic for him in the early years after camille i feel, when he was so lonely. of course he has his cats but cats aren't really fans of hanging out all the time and plants are always there and just looking at a plant you helped grow makes you feel so much better) and prunes them with so much love and care, and because of magic he can control the weather conditions so it's always ideal for them, and make sure they are well taken care of. but he likes to do it himself without the need of magic when he can, because it's all about bonding with the plants. and when he gets to literally take the fruits of his labor, well. it makes the food and potions even more special :)

actually i bet that it actually does make a difference for potions, like... when you know the ingredients and they have been grown with love and care and a connection to the warlock they are more powerful. because plants are living, breathing things that build connections, and magic connects all things, and also because i said so!

BACK TO COOKING

i think part of the reason we've never seen him cook tbh is just because it's so... intimate. like it requires opening up about his culture and his past and a part of who he is and how he feels is in a dish (as with every dish) so it's just... way more intimate and intense than just taking someone out to dinner or something. and most of his interactions in the show were with shadowhunters, whom he either doesn't trust for obvious reasons, or does trust (alec and izzy basically, maybe clary) but knows they don't really fully understand what it means to him so there's just too big a chance to feel like he wore his heart on his sleeve for nothing (i'm talking mainly about alec here cuz i don't think he'd cook for izzy or clary lol but i do think they're on his trusted or somewhat trusted list)

and with raphael it's just painful because raphael can't eat and that's a big thing that probably upsets him on the regular, like, it's another thing that makes him feel a- human; and b- connected to his culture. and when i say human i don't mean it as just "humans eat food", i mean it as in eating for humans is about socialization and self-expression and having that taken away from him makes him feel soulless

but that just makes raphael want to cook MORE! i mean we've seen him cooking for rosa('s nursing home) so that's pretty much canon anyway. and i have no doubts in my mind that raphael used to cook for magnus all the time. initially recipes he already knew from his mom and his abuela, because again, it's just... sharing who he is and almost like welcoming magnus as a part of his family, and magnus understands that 100% and probably cries the first time rapha makes him pozole or something (he knows it's rapha's comfort food and he's just had a hard day and he's tired and maybe a bit worn by depression and raphael makes it for him and he's just... so touched and overwhelmed by the immenseness of the gesture). and then magnus starts to tentatively teach him the recipes he remembers for his own mom and again that's just.... ugh the magnitude of that is incalculable. and rapha knows it too

and he's highkey nervous because he knows magnus hasn't really tasted this in so long and he doesn't want to butcher it, you know? and he can't try the food to see if it's good, he can basically only go by smell (which i figure he has perfected over the years but he's known magnus since the early years so that was probably harder by then) but magnus is just happy to have someone to pass this down to, you know? like he's cooked meals for ragnor, dot, cat, elias, etc., before (immortal squad dinner meetups where everyone brings their favorite foods from their childhoods and ragnor makes tea because no one is putting up with that shit <3) but passing the recipes on to someone else is a whole different deal, it speaks of their father-son bond and it's basically welcoming raphael into the family back, you know? and rapha knows

and from then on rapha starts cooking these recipes for magnus, particularly when he's feeling down or just as a thank you for everything he's done for him and aaaaaaaaaaa

and then of course eventually the potion that allows vampires to eat is created and raphael can FINALLY eat again and try all the recipes he's been making for magnus (and sometimes cat) for years!!! after of course the first order of business which is making himself some pozole and everything else he's been cooking for rosa and missing terribly. but AFTER he has his mexican feast they absolutely have one of these meetups again and everyone gives raphael a little something from their culture for him to try and it's just <3 beautiful and i need a moment

AND CAT YES. we all know cat is overworked to death and magnus will NOT put up with it. and food is a love language so you know <3 half the time she will get home and find some little delivery packages from magnus, dot, ragnor, elias, raphael, or all of them (lol) with food because they know sometimes she gets home too tired and skips dinner and she SHOULD NOT. and they all have little notes like "i've sealed it magically so it's still hot, enjoy <3" and it's just sweet okay

and then there are the dinners... not just the super big dinners they all have together where everyone cooks something but sometimes just cat and magnus in magnus' loft and magnus makes her something, including some recipes she's taught him, and he absolutely makes extra and he's not even subtle about it because when is he ever ("*presenting cat a industrial-sized pan filled with food* oh, guess i miscalculated how much we'd eat" "really, magnus?" "yes") and makes her take the leftovers and she's just grinning at him the whole time and gives him a little kiss on the cheek for his troubles. then they sit down and drink wine and gossip and have fun until the tension has left both of their shoulders and they feel recharged. and cat might sleep there or might go back home the same day but either way when they have to part they trade "take care"s and catarina has this huge smile on her face as she takes thousands of conteiners filled with food, and magnus has that soft smile that he gives her, and aa <3

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

Okay time to read the preciousness that is your malec fic. Let's go. A list of bits and pieces I liked a loooooot (because why not???):

The title. Something so soft and malec about it.

Me reading your first fic which is almost 5k words - "stooormy you look like mommy baby"

Alec rubbing off (mundane habits!!) on Magnus is something that can be so personal.

His beautiful Alec >>>

I am once again emotion about malec letting Max's horns hurt them because they don't wanna stop cuddling

Even with his bedhead. Especially with the bedhead. - this coming from Magnus - I am Fashion - Bane. Wow.

Sometimes his husband said his name as if it was a sentence in itself. - I am once again telling you this was some good shit

"Really. And what was the plan?"" Fuck The Clave." - PLEASE

Every time Magnus uttered a curse word or was about to use one, the boy would somehow materialize out of thin air. - canon

Max being a ball of energy is SO canon idk why.

Children petting their parents' heads >>>

"I am not grumpy." Alec shot back. "Yes, you are," Rafael turned and retorted back. Always onboard to give shit to Alec. - I LOVE YOU KING

He had ended up remembering only a few words. The ones that mattered the most. In Spanish and Indonesian. For nights when Magnus and Rafael could only be comforted in their mother tongues. - beautiful.

Magnus being the crazy parent? *checks notes* yeah okay checks out

That Jace scene owns my soul just so you know ;)

While Max had clung to Alec that night, the shadowhunter boy had crawled in Magnus's arms and whispered to him that he would grow up and become the best shadowhunter one day to protect his dad. His husband had worried that maybe Rafael felt that way because Alec had saved him, and he felt the need to pay him back. But with time, they realized that their son felt that way because of the simple fact that he loved Alec. And well, Magnus could understand that. - I KNOW IT'S LONG BUT IT'S BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN SO LIKE SUE ME

impotent - LMAO MAX

"I'm also the father of my children, Magnus. You're not special." - sassy Alec I bow down before thee

Simon asking Alec for advice on how to be a good husband - PLEASE MY HEART (ps - headcanon that Jace finds out and gets offended. Simon: You are not even a husband yet! Jace: WOW WAY TO CHANGE THE TOPIC, LOVELACE!)

You don’t have to be the best. You just have to be better. - lovely advice <3

"You wouldn't be the person I fell in love with if you didn't drop everything to help other people." Alec grabbed his face and brought both their foreheads together. "I love all that you are, Magnus Bane. Never apologize for being you." - ALEC YOU STEALTH ROMANCE ATTACKER

"Let me look at you. I missed home." - LOVE ME A GOOD PARALLELS BRO

Okay. I only left a small comment on ao3 but as you can see, I loved this fic very much.

Side note: Since I have been writing a lot, I haven't really had the time to read fanfiction - which I really miss doing. I have forgotten what it felt like to read it. To be blown away by someone's words and wonder how tf it's not canon. To grin into my pillow. To fall in love with my faves a little bit more.

I missed it so much. Thank you for making me feel those things again. I feel blessed - and grateful <3

A gif to capture how I felt throughout this whole damn thing:

Dani my love I have actual tears reading this I shit you not.

I can't believe you made a list aaaagh my heart. This is the sweetest thing and not to sound dramatic but I will cherish this list with my life

Your reax to everything you mentioned aaaah uwu. It's honestly a little overwhelming to see that people read my words and noticed these small things I added gosh.

That Jace and Simon HC is top tier lmao I accept.

Also, the fact that you're not able to read ff these days and my fic was able to make you feel CAN YOU PLS NOT MA'AM. my mom is asking why I'm grinning and crying looking into my phone. I’m brown pls I’m not allowed to do that skskskks

Thank you so much. I have said it before and I will say it again. I am love you.