#someone probably just thought “oh they’re destined together that’s cute <3”. they had no fucking idea.

[insanesonofabitch]

Today I learned that deancasbenny is sometimes called destiny and God. I’ve never seen such a name for a ship that’s equally poetic as it is ironic. I would’ve called it poetic irony but that would wrongfully imply that they’re given what they deserved. It’s hauntingly beautiful.

[uriagii]

Thomastair Youtube AU

Hello! So I started writing a thomastair youtube au, and i need to put it out into the world, so here you go. I intend to write more. 

part 2, part 3

1.4k word count, fluffy boyfriend things, some language 1: Get to Know Us!

Two men, one tall and pale, one short and tanned, sat side by side in front of a brown couch in a cozy looking living room

“Hey guys! I’m Thomas,” said the taller.

“And I’m Alastair,” 

“And today we’re going to be doing a little Q&A!” Thomas said excitedly

The shorter of the two--Alastair--hugged a pillow to his chest, while Thomas examined the screen of his phone.

“Okay, let’s get started. Question number one,” Thomas said, “When and where did you first meet?”

Alastair adjusted his seating a bit as he started speaking, “Ah, we actually met in secondary school. Thomas and I are the same age, but Thomas was held back one year because he had a bad case of pneumonia and missed a bunch of school.” 

“Yes, but actually my friends and Alastair didn’t get along very well--” 

“Not even a little bit.” Alastair interrupted quietly.

“--And because of that the two of us didn’t really properly get to know each other until several years later.”

“Next question.” Alastair took the phone from Thomas’s hand and read, “When was your first date?”

Both men paused, looked at each other and furrowed their brows in confusion. 

They looked back to the camera and said in unison, “It depends.” 

“Officially, it was about a year ago,” Thomas began, “But we sort of had an accidental weekend date in Paris about two years ago.”

“Yes, we were both in Paris alone, and we ran into each other outside of the Louvre, and we just kind of spent the next few days together exploring Paris.” Alastair finished. “You read the next one, Tom.”

“Okay,” Thomas read. “How long have we been together?”

“About a year, since our first official date.” Alastair responded. Thomas nodded along in silent agreement.

“That was easy,” Alastair muttered while he grabbed the phone. “Moving on, what is your favorite feature of your significant other?”

“Everything.” Thomas said immediately.

“No, babe, you gotta pick something,” Alastair chuckled.

“Just one? How am I supposed to do that? You’re immaculate.” Thomas whined

Alastair just laughed and looked at Thomas expectantly.

“Hmm, fine. Probably…” Thomas looked up in thought, before finally answering, “Your elegance. You’re built so delicately, yet so powerfully.” 

Alastair smiled. “Oka--”

“And your hair.”

“Oka--”

“And your eyes.”

“Okay!” Alastair smiled and rolled his eyes affectionately. “Next one,”

“Wait, you’re not going to answer?” Thomas turned his body toward Alastair in protest.

“Nope.” Alastair looked at him smugly.

“You have to! That’s the law according to the rules.”

“Fine. Your ass.” Alastair deadpanned.

Thomas’s jaw dropped, and he spluttered while Alastair laughed. “You-- but-- I-- pick something else!”

Alastair only laughed harder.

“Alastair! Pick something else!” Thomas whined.

“Alright alright,” Alastair’s chuckles died out and he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “I like your shoulders. They’re fucking huge.”

“Oh my God,” Thomas muttered as he took the phone from Alastair to read the next question. “What is your biggest pet peeve?” Thomas asked quickly, then said “Oh here we go.”

“Let me tell you,” Alastair emphasized his words by putting both his hands down onto the coffee table in front of them, then began listing; “When people don’t know the words to a song but they still try to sing along,” He counted off one of his fingers. “Stupid people.” Another finger. “Homophobes. When someone is erasing something and they miss a spot, slow walkers who take up the entire sidewalk, people who sneeze into their hands, people who clap when a plane lands or at the end of a movie, people who use the word ‘literally’ when they’re not being literal--”

“Okay, wow. That’s a lot of things.” Thomas’s eyes were wide.

“People do lots of stupid things.” Alastair said matter-of-factly.

“Okay, well my biggest one is probably people who say ‘no offense, but’ right before they say something they know is offensive, as if it will make it less offensive.”

“Ooh, good one,” Alastair puts his finger to his mouth in a thinking gesture.

“I think we should move on before you get going again, love” Thomas suggested, holding the phone out. “How about you read the next question?”

Alastair sighed, but took the phone from Thomas’s waiting hand. He read the question and smiled wickedly before saying, “Who said ‘I love you’ first?

Thomas took the pillow Alastair had been holding, set it down on his lap, and put his face in it.

“Tell the story, babe.” Alastair teased, nudging Thomas. Thomas’s answering groan was muffled by the pillow.

“Come on, it’s a cute story Tom.” Alastair encouraged while snickering.

“No, it’s embarrassing.” When Thomas picked his head up, his face was bright red.

“It’s endearing, tell the story.” Alastair insisted.

Thomas closed his eyes, “Oh, God. Okay.” He began, “So we were on a date at this amusement park, and all day I was trying to figure out how I was gonna tell Alastair that I loved him, and I was understandably nervous, so I was kind of a wreck all day.” Alastair smiled at Thomas affectionately as he spoke, as if he were reminiscing on the moment. Thomas studiously avoided eye contact with both Alastair and the camera. “It was getting close to closing time, and I still hadn’t said it, so I started panicking, and decided it was now or never.” Thomas sighed before continuing.

  “Well, we were walking past this dunk tank right near the exit, so I stopped, I turned to Alastair and I said ‘Hey, I love you’ and immediately some little twelve-year-old wanker ran by me, knocked me off balance, and pushed me into the dunk tank!” He exclaimed. “I mean, why do they even make dunk tanks that low to the ground?!” 

 Thomas had been getting gradually more worked up as he told the story, and was practically seething at the thought of this child ruining his moment. Alastair however, was cracking up. 

“I’m glad my public humiliation is so entertaining to you.” Thomas said, unamused as Alastair wiped a tear from his cheek. 

“It was perfect,” Alastair said seriously, before grinning. “Very on-brand.”

“Oh, bugger off.” Thomas gently shoved Alastair’s shoulder, but smiled despite his embarrassment. 

“And of course after helping him out and drying him off while he stewed in his awkwardness, I told him I loved him too. And he smiled the biggest smile. So it really was perfect.” Alastair told the camera.

Thomas’s face was still visibly red, but he rolled his eyes and smiled as he took the phone to read the next question.

“What’s your dream vacation destination?” Thomas read.

“Ooh, we have lots of these.” Alastair said excitedly, bouncing a little in place on the floor. “Namely, we both want to visit Greece. Athens, Crete, Mykonos, all the places.”

Thomas had somewhat recovered from his embarrassment, and nodded his agreement. “It’s a lovely country from the pictures, and we think it would be a fascinating place to explore.”

“Plus the food.” Alastair added. 

“Yes, can't forget that.” Thomas agreed. “Hopefully within the next few years we’ll be able to go.”

“How many more questions are left?” Alastair asked.

“Just one,” Thomas responded, displaying the screen of the phone to his boyfriend. “Would you like to do the honors?”

Alastair read the question and smiled before saying out loud, “What are you most passionate about?”

The two looked at each other for a long moment before Alastair looked back to the camera and responded.

“Music. I love being able to express myself without needing to search the obscure sides of the dictionary for proper terms.” Alastair said. “You, Thomas?”

“You.” He said softly, looking into Alastair’s brown eyes. “Taking care of you, being the best I can be for me and for you.”

Alastair scoffed, but blushed and looked away from Thomas’s smile and loving gaze. Thomas’s smile turned devious.

“And your ass.”

“Oh my God, Thomas.” 

Comments

>cordeliacarstairs: tom, alastair this is adorable

3,321 likes, 102 dislikes

>lucie the reader: can confirm thomas does, in fact, have huge shoulders. 

4,039 likes, 32 dislikes

>lightwoodfanclub replying to @lucie the reader: OMG DYING

>thomastair4eva: this is the cutest thing i’ve ever seen omg

1,387 likes, 14 dislikes

>fangorl117289: let me just *sobs*

1,150 likes, 26 dislikes

>carstairssiblings: they’re so sassy omg “your ass” PF

973 likes, 12 dislikes

[marvelobsessedteenager]

Playing Cupid

Pairing: Tom Holland x fem!reader

Warnings: Fluff?? Hopefully lmfao, a sprinkle of angst, My Best Friend’s Wedding Spoilers? (edit: cuRSING LMFAO COMPLETELY FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE)

Summary: You’ve been playing Cupid your entire life, setting people up left and right, and have never put much thought into who would be your eternal soulmate. That is until you met Tom Holland. But you don’t know if he feels the same way you do, and you only find out when someone else decides to be your matchmaker.

A/N: Heyo! First fanfiction piece and mAN am I nervous, haha. Enjoy? Also, the scene that I’m talking about below is linked for those of you that haven’t seen the movie :)

-------

“I don’t know what to say, y/n/n. I’m going to look like a div and-“

Not wanting to hear Harrison’s complaining, you quickly pinch his lips in between your fingers and shush him, “First of all, you already look like a div and that’s pretty much never going to change.”

Haz rolls his eyes and grunts as you continue, “Second of all, it’s just a conversation, Haz. Amelia’s pretty chill and is probably the easiest person to talk to. You’ll easily fall into conversation with her. You guys like the same things, why do you think I chose her out of all the girls?”

Ah, yes. That was your job after all. Well, not a job job, though you wish you’d get paid for setting people up with each other. You’d be a billionaire before you reach the age of 25.

But it was your job as a friend to be like a bachelorette for others and help them reach the love they crave. It was quite simple, really. Harrison claimed it had been a gift you were born with - a power sent by the gods above. It seemed like everyone you’d pair up ended up thriving as a couple.

Perhaps it really was a gift, and you were destined to you use it for good.

Right now, you, Haz, Tom, and Harry were inside a cafe giving Harrison the pep talk before his blind date. Amelia was practically your best friend - besides the three dumbasses you were currently with - and was constantly grumbling about not being able to find a guy she genuinely likes. When asked about her interests, you noticed they were strikingly similar to Harrison’s, who was, coincidentally, also single. Ergo, you set them up, knowing they’d be the perfect couple.

“Now,” you run your hand through his untamed hair that he’d spent hours stress-tugging, “Go out there and talk to her. You’ll do great, Hazzy.”

He stares at you intently, blue eyes boring directly into yours, clouded with immense fear. You could tell he was on the verge of backing out, so you take this as your chance to lighten up the situation.

You sigh as you fix his collar while maintaining eye contact, “I’d totally be in love with your dazzling ocean eyes but you’re not my type so stop staring at me, and go stare at her.” You tease and look up at him through your eyelashes, tilting your head towards where Amelia was sitting, waiting for Harrison to ‘arrive’.

He chuckles, “Right. How could I forget?” He gives you a sly smirk, and leans down to whisper in your ear, “Your type is everything Tom is.”

He pulls back fast enough to catch your fleeting eyes and the slight blush that crept up on your cheeks at the mention of your crush.

Well, less of a crush and you’d admit, you’re maybe, slightly, completely and utterly in love with Tom.

Harrison, the one who’d introduced you guys - stating ‘fate has brought you two together’ - effortlessly guessed that you were head over heels for Tom. He even began calling you ‘Cherry’ whenever he saw you go red at the mention of his best friend.

Your friendship began when you went to your local pub for a light drink with one of your closest co-workers. She’d spotted a cute guy whose eyes never left hers, even from across the room. A pub quiz was starting in a few minutes, and you’d told her that that was her chance to go and see if the chemistry was as real as it looked.

Of course, being the good friend she was, she immediately tossed that idea out the window.

“I can’t leave you here alone,” she’d said. Fortunately, it didn’t take long for you to convince her to go. With the quiz starting in a couple seconds, you searched around for a lonesome guy and spotted Harrison.

You downed the rest of your scotch and strutted over to confidently sit beside him.

Before he even got the chance to speak, you opened your mouth and blurted out everything in a word vomit: “Hey, I’m y/n and my friend’s watching because I told her that I’d talk to you and start up a “romance” since that was the only way I could really push her to leave me to talk to the guy that she’s had her eyes on so please just shake my hand and we’ll sit here and talk or do the quiz or whatever the fuck you want, just go along with it?”

You ended it with a lopsided smile, your hanging hand awaiting his own.

Luckily, he’d laughed it off and clasped your open palm. You and him got on like a house on fire, and instantly became close. Later on, he introduced you to Tom.

You never believed in love at first sight, but, fuck, Tom sure was a sight.

“Oi, hurry up, it’s hot as shit in these disguises,” Harry whines as he tugs the collar of his hoodie, interrupting your train of thought.

You shake your head, “Anyway,” you clear your throat, “Remember, it’s just a girl.”

He closes his eyes, chest rising as he takes a deep breath and nods, “It’s just a girl.”

“Attaboy,” you turn him around and push his shoulders, “Go get her, tiger.”

You take a seat with the boys at a booth that was directly in the sight of your friends with Amelia’s back pointed in your direction. You watch with pride as Haz rolls his shoulders and walks over to Amelia, politely touching her arm. He sits in front of her and starts up a conversation, and has her shyly tucking her hair behind her ear and giggling.

“So,“ Tom says lowly, making you jump slightly at the sudden close proximity, “we just sit inside in these ridiculous disguises and watch them?”

You gasp, offended by his words, and playfully slap him across his chest, “These are not ridiculous. they’re fool-proof.”

“Right. ‘Cause no one wonder why we’re wearing hats and sunglasses inside. And it’s totally normal for the three of us to be hiding behind our menus.” He mocks, sending you a quick wink that would’ve made you weak to your knees had you been standing.

“Shut up Thomas, let me concentrate.” You giggle, pushing his face away, despite the gnawing feeling of wanting him even closer.

For an entirety of 3 excruciatingly long hours, you intently watch the couple, paying extra attention when they finally - finally - stand up to say goodbye.

You gasp as Harrison charmingly holds her hand and plants a kiss on it. You grab both Harry and Tom’s cheeks, shoving them into yours as you squealin delight, “It’s working!”

You feel Tom smile into your cheek, “You love playing Cupid, don’t you, y/n/n?”

“Oh, you bet. It’s kinda sad I don’t get to shoot people asses with an arrow to get them to fall in love but the reaction is enough to satisfy, I guess.”

Harry and Tom let out a loud laugh as you watch Haz walk Amelia out and return to the group with a dreamy smile.

“I take it it went well, didn’t it lover boy?” Harry cocks an eyebrow, as Haz jokingly punches his arm.

“She’s so..perfect. Honestly, it’s- I’m literally speechless. I asked her if she’d like to go on a second date and she said she’d love to.”

You grin widely at the revelation and was about to say how proud you are when you receive a text from Amelia, and immediately check to see if she was right. To your horror, she was.

You facepalm and slide your hand down your face as you bring your eyes to meet Haz’s, looking at him in disappointment.

What a fucking idiot.

His face drops, and he tenses, instantly panicking, “What? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something? Did she say something?”

“Haz, honey.” You smile sympathetically, “Maybe next time, check to see if your fly is down before the date.”

———

When the four of you return home, you cross out Haz’s name from the list on the whiteboard, and happily clasp your hands together as you turn to face the trio.

“All right, Haz’s mission has been a success.”

Harry snorts, “Yeah, even if she saw the Spongebob Squarepants underwear. Tell me, which character did she see? Sandy or Mr. Krabs?”

Harrison lets out an exasperated sigh while Tom and Harry high-five each other, “I told you guys, I was in a hurry this morning and this was the only one left.”

You let out an amused giggle but stop when Harrison glares at you and clear your throat. “Children,” you lightheartedly scold with an accusing finger, “settle down, it’s not that funny.”

“Yes, it is!” Tom manages to say through his wheezing, and your heart squeezes at how adorable he looks when he throws his head back in laughter.

“Anyway!” You yell, rolling your eyes, successfully grabbing the boys’ attention, “I believe it’s Harry’s turn” you turn to smile mischievously at Harry, who was now cowering in fear.

He fidgets in his seat and profusely shakes his head, “Oh, no, no. I’m good, honestly.”

“Harry, I’ve seen you cry while watching Bride Wars and cuddling a life-sized teddy.”

“So? It’s sad.” He mumbles.

“It’s a comedy, for god’s sake.” You frantically dismiss the subject, "Look, I’ve already found the perfect girl. Her name’s Sarah, she goes to the University of Arts, London, and has the same interests as you. Plus, she’s super smart, which should come in handy, especially for you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He raises his eyebrow.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.” You chuckle, waving your hands around.

He shoots daggers at you before his face shifts, and you can practically see the light bulb go off in his head, “You know, you keep talking about us guys getting girls, but what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Cupid fell madly in love with Psyche. If you’re Cupid, there must be someone you fancy. Isn’t there, Cherry?” Harrison grills you, and you figure this is his way of getting back at you for calling the boy’s attention to his zipper.

“Uh,” you gulp, mind completely blanking. For the first time in your life, you practically had no comeback. No snide remark. No sass. Nothing. Your mouth went dry as your eyes briefly connect with Tom’s. He clenches his jaw and bows his head, trying to keep his lid on his simmering jealousy at the thought of you liking someone.

Someone besides him.

See, Tom was also completely head over heels for you. But because of your personality, it was hard to tell whether your flirting was just a part of you, or if you were genuinely into him.

There was always an unspoken spark between the two of you, and even if it was regularly being pointed out by friends and family members, neither of you have talked about it, nor confronted it.

It was just..there. Existing in every space, no matter the time, and though the both of you longed for one another, the profound fear of rejection and stepping over the ‘friendship’ line terminated the thought of any sort of engagement from both sides.

You simply dismissed the electricity in the air with a white, yet massive lie: “We’re just friends.”

“Well, this Cupid isn’t done with her job just yet. I still have to work on Tom, too.” You stupidly point out, mentally facepalming. Why would you say something like that?!

Great, you thought, I just forced myself to set up the love of my life with some girl and watch him happily fall in love with her and then he’ll get married and have kids and-

“I’ve..actually already got eyes on someone.”

Wait, what?

“Wait, what?” You raise your eyebrows, flashing him an incredulous look.

“Yeah, I like someone. I might even be in love with her.”

“Oh.” You slap on a plastic grin before anyone notices your crest-fallen face, rapidly blinking away the tears that have gathered in your eyes, “I’m..happy for you.”

You feel hot flashes run down your spine and your heart shattering into multiple little pieces, each bit slicing your lungs until you felt like you were suffocating. You couldn’t help but feel like an idiot, once succumbing to the hopes of maybe, just maybe, he would’ve fallen for you, too.

But, then again, who were you to get your hopes up? It’s Tom. There was no way in hell he would’ve wanted someone like you.

You clear your throat to try to get rid of the massive lump that was lodged in your airpipe and give him a humorless laugh, “Well, I guess you’re off the list, too.” 

You turn and bit your lip, supressing the tears that were just on the verge of falling as you cross his name out. You sigh and make up an excuse to leave the boys’ curious stares, saying that you needed to go shopping for groceries and snacks for the upcoming movie night that you suddenly dreaded.

Maybe you should grab an extra bucket of ice-cream for yourself.

————

“Heyo! I got double the amount of snacks because I know you fat fucks will probably focus on the food rather than the mov-“ You look up and furrow your eyebrows at the unusual sight of an empty and peaceful living room. You couldn’t help but feel your heart lighten just a bit. Maybe you really need some alone time to think.

“In here, darling!” Tom’s wavering voice calls out from the kitchen.

Or, no alone time.

Regardless of what happened a few hours ago, butterflies erupt in your stomach at the nickname before you attempt to shake them away, telling yourself he wasn’t yours, berating your body at its inability to control itself. You sigh, placing yet another plastic smile, and stroll over to the kitchen.

“Hey, Tommy. Where are the rest of the dudes?”

“Just you and I today, love.” He beams, and you could’ve sworn you caught a glint of impishness in his eyes as he walks back to the living room with a large pizza box in his hand.

But, no. Again, he isn’t yours. 

Though that didn’t stop the fire in your chest to grow with curiosity, nor did it stop the thoughts of something special happening tonight. Maybe a confession, your brain hoped.

Oh, great, you roll your eyes, now my mind and my body are betraying me.

You feign a sigh and look down at your arms that were filled to the brink with snacks, “Well,” you shrug, “can’t let the snacks go to waste.”

Once you were sure his hands were empty, you drop all the snacks on him, giggling when he threw his fists up, ready to punch.

“Y/n!” He lightheartedly rebukes you.

“Sorry, my love.” you mockingly apologize and plant a sweet kiss on his cheek, “I’m gonna go get changed.”

You run out into your room before you see his reaction and slam the door, placing your head into your hands, mouth dropping at what you’d just done.

Did you just kiss him?! 

Wait, no. 

Don’t get ahead of yourself. It was just a kiss on the cheek. A friendly kiss, no less. It’s not like you made out with him and told him you’re madly in love with him.

Wonder what would’ve happened if I went a little to the left and- no. No. Get a grip!

“Why can’t my body understand he doesn’t like me?” You whine in annoyance.

After putting on your comfy pj's, and cursing yourself underneath your breath, you waltz back into the living room, situating yourself at the other end of the couch, ignoring Tom’s confused gaze. Usually, there was not a single sliver of space between the two of you, but you figured tonight you’d have to control yourself.

“So, what’d the boys pick out?” You wonder out loud, trying to get rid of the tense awkwardness that settled in the gap between your bodies.

“Some movie called My Best Friend’s Wedding and- why are you sitting so far away?” You jump a little at the quick change of subject within a sentence.

“Wh-uh,” You stammer, rummaging through your brain for an excuse, “I might have a fever?” You state, though it comes out as a question. You add a fake cough to cover up for your lame excuse.

Tom stares at you skeptically before rolling his eyes, “You suck at lying. Come here,” He pulls you by your arms and places them around his waist while his circle your shoulders. Your typical position.

You felt confused. He liked - possibly loved - someone, yet continues to cuddle you and give you pet names. It felt like he knew something, a very specific secret, and was toying with your emotions. 

He offers you a slice of pizza when he saw your dazed expression, which instantly melted away as you began eating.

Neither of you focused on the movie, too busy moaning and eating away at the delicious pizza. Blindly, both of you reach for the last slice, resulting in mild hand-to-hand contact that set your body on fire.

You slowly look up at each other, eyes alight with warmness, before you narrow yours and snatch the slice away, “Mine!”

Tom seemed to snap out of his daze when you made a run for it, “Hey! That’s my slice! Y/N!”

He staggers to his feet, immediately running after your giggles that led him to the kitchen, where each of you was on opposite ends of the island.

Your lips curl into a menacing smile as you slowly bring the slice to your open mouth.

“Don’t,” Tom warns, gradually inching towards you.

“Or what?” You challenge.

“I..won’t talk to you for a week!”

With pursed lips, you look down at the slice, pretending to contemplate your decision before you shrug, “That’s not even a punishment-“

In a quick moment, you feel your stomach flip as you squeal and hit a hard surface, only to realize that surface is Tom’s rigid back. He’s currently holding your thrashing self over his shoulder, arms tightly gripping your legs.

“Put me down, you buffoon! I do not enjoy being this close to your ass!”

“Oh, please. Anybody would kill to be in your position.” He begins his walk back to the living room when you realize the slice laid face down on the ground, completely forgotten by Tom, but not by you.

You gasp loudly, attempting to reach for the idle pizza that seemed to be getting farther and farther away, “Wait, Tom! The pizza!”

He laughs and throws you onto the couch and lays on top of you, head on your chest. You pout and hope and pray to the gods above that he doesn’t hear the wild thundering of your heart.

You’re at the part of the movie where Julianne takes Micheal somewhere secret to confess her feelings towards him, and a snide remark casually slips from your lips.

“Those glasses make her look like Yzma from Kronk’s New Groove.”

“Oh my god, I can’t unsee that now.” He chortles wholeheartedly, and you feel the vibrations from his chest rattle your body. A jolt of love and happiness surges through your veins. His laughter was like music to your ears. You would listen to it all day if you could.

God, you’re so in love with this boy.

“Why didn’t she tell him before the wedding?” He questions after calming down, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You huff out in slight annoyance and pause the movie, turning your head to look at him, “Did you not just hear her whole rant?”

“I still don’t understand it, honestly.”

“Well..would you?” You ask, slightly afraid of the answer. You knew this question was a loaded one, that this wasn’t about the movie anymore. That is was time to confront him about what was killing you inside.

He furrows his brows, obviously caught off guard, “Would I what?”

“Um,” You suddenly sit up, body facing his, “Let’s say that we’re best friends-”

“You’re saying we’re not?” He cuts in, jokingly placing a hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt.

“-And you’re in love with me.” You roll your eyes, despite the ache in your ribs resulting from the intensity of the banging of your heart. I’m actually doing this, you think. “You’ve been in love with me for a while now. But you’re scared that I might not reciprocate those feelings. Would..would you tell me anyway?”

You knew that that was not the plot of the movie, nor was it the reason Julianne didn’t tell Michael. This was your plot now. Your story. 

He blankly stares at you for a moment before he speaks, “Well,” he starts off softly, grabbing your hand, and for a moment, you fear this might be his way of letting you down easy, “Maybe I do want to risk it. If I want to let you know, maybe I’d set something up. We’d be at home, alone, watching a romantic comedy that seems to almost match our issue. But, maybe I don’t want their ending. The one where one ends up heartbroken and the other marries someone else.”

His gentle eyes finally meet yours, and you feel yourself softening, “And maybe I’m hoping you don’t want their ending, either.”

At last, you feel most of your insecurities melting away, knowing he felt the same way you did. He cautiously inches towards your face, and you do the same, lips merely centimeters away when-

“Wait,” you push at Tom’s chest, causing him to look at you with wide, panicky eyes, “So, I was the girl you were talking about earlier?” You wince, just an ounce of anxiety lingering.

Tom scoffs and shakes his head lovingly, “Yes, you dumbass.” He goes to lean in again, and you stop him. Again.

“Wait, wait, wait.” At this point, Tom closes his eyes and huffs in frustration, “Did you just spoil the ending for me?” You ask with wide eyes, staring at him in disbelief.

“Oh, for the love of-“

He crashes his lips into yours, and you freeze for a moment before melting into him. He pulls at your waist until you’re practically straddling him, lips never detaching from one another. They move in sync, almost like they were merely made to fit and function as a unit.

Just when it was getting heated, you reluctantly pull away when you hear a ruckus near the front door.

“YES! WHO’S CUPID NOW?” Harrison barges in, pumping his fist in the air.

“You set this up?” You disbelievingly question in between your pants.

“Well, I did most of the work.” He smirks and shrugs his shoulder, just as Harry appears from the doorway, punching him in the arm, “I helped, too.” He grumbles.

You glance at Tom and your eyebrows shoot up, lightbulb instantly going off in your head, “Wow, guys.” You praise, voice dripping with slick sweetness, “I can’t believe you finally got me and Tommy together. Now I can finally kiss him whenever I want and call him whatever I want.”

“Isn’t that right, babycakes?” You dramatically coo, cradling Tom’s red face in your hands.

His eyes light up as he finally gets it and plays along, “That’s right my cuddly-wuddly.” He murmurs, rubbing his nose against yours before pulling you in for another kiss.

You titter into the kiss when you hear gagging noises accompanied by “Ugh, gross!” And “Get a room!”

Tom pulls away, resting his forehead on yours, “I love you.” He whispers, almost afraid to break the fragility of the situation. 

“Likewise, movie star.” You tease with a suppressed smile.

He shakes his head and lovingly rubs small circles on your waist when you hear Harry’s booming voice, “Why is there a dead pizza slice on the ground?”

[merakiui]

You got any yandere hcs of the boys before we start. Im an yandere obsessed anon who lives and brreaths reading this shit and I wanna know how fucked we can get

(Here you go, wonderful anon! I’ll post yandere hcs for the other teams soon. I’d also like to post yandere fics for these boys, but I’m not sure if anyone’s interested. >-< I’ve got two sitting in my drafts, though!)

Yandere Morning and Day Teams

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 TW: (yandere) unhealthy/obsessive behaviors, mentions of kidnapping/captivity, gas-lighting, starvation, abuse

Morning Team (Mane)

🧩 Ghilley 🧩

Ghilley is definitely a stalker. He’ll be in your shadow whether you like it or not. Nothing escapes his watchful gaze, so it’s important that your enemies choose their words around you.

He’s already skilled at sneaking around, so he’ll use that to his advantage. Popping in to give you a spook, showing up when you’re out with someone else, and even when you think you’re alone.

He’ll follow you if he thinks you’re going to get yourself into trouble again. His poor manager just has a habit of attracting bad people. Just let Ghilley handle all those vengeful spirits. You won’t have to lift a finger!

If anyone gives you problems, tell Ghilley and that issue will be solved in no time. And if you get curious and ask him what happened, he’ll just shrug the question off in a playful manner.

His behavior is unpredictable, so you never know what he does in his spare time. Truthfully, Ghilley’s either watching you or he’s playing a few tricks on those who bothered you. They’ll remember not to mess with you if they’re given a permanent fright.

You won’t notice what’s going on until everyone starts to keep their distance. Friends will make up excuses so they won’t have to hang out with you, and those who might’ve had some romantic interest in you have cut communication altogether.

When you’re feeling down, Ghilley will swoop in to cheer you up. You start to normalize your relationship with him because it’s all you currently know. No one else is willing to talk to you, so you can only rely on him.

Ghilley knows it must hurt to be alone, but it’s the only way he can have you to himself. So he’s willing to bury his pain if it means he’ll get to console you.

He wouldn’t hurt you, but he might remind you every now and then that he’s the only one who hasn’t abandoned you yet.

Yet. A word that’s become part of his daily vocabulary. A word that reminds you of the fact that he could leave you one day.

☀️ Ell ☀️

He shouldn’t feel these emotions to begin with. It’s almost...dirty, in a way. Almost like he’s sinning.

He’s not doing anything bad, though. Loving you was what got him kicked out of Heaven in the first place, but that’s not entirely evil in itself. At first, he assumed Cupid’s Arrow was the one to blame for these lovey-dovey feelings, but it’s not Cupid’s job to foster obsession among former angels.

He doesn’t recognize how suffocating his presence truly is. You’d probably have to tell him to back off before he stops sticking by your side, and even if you did something like that it’d make Ell incredibly sad. Without realizing it, he’ll start to guilt-trip you. 

“I’m sorry, Manager! You just looked like you could use some company. I... I can leave you alone if that’s what you want. You might think I’m annoying and—achoo!”

Nowadays, he’s been sneezing a lot, but the idea that his love for you is what’s causing all of this never crosses his mind. He just can’t wrap his head around that. Why would love, a pure, wonderful feeling, make him sneeze?

Under that smile of his are a dozen worries. He’s afraid he’ll chase you away or that you’ll stop liking him. Ell would feel crushed if that ever happened, so all of his energy goes into appeasing you.

He’ll show up unannounced at your office with your favorite snacks, follow you around the campus, and talk to you about literally anything. He could ramble about the grass if it means you’ll spare him your time.

Ell doesn’t really know the meaning of jealousy or hatred. Having been an angel once, he’s not used to negativity. He doesn’t necessarily feel extreme envy, nor does he hate any of the Reapers, but he does sulk about it.

It’s hard to say when he got obsessed. Perhaps it was when you first met and you mistook him for your own guardian angel. Despite the fact that he’s not an angel anymore, Ell likes the sound of that.

It’s a guardian angel’s job to care for and protect humans, so surely you won’t mind if he stays glued to you like a fungus. After all, it’s harmless, happy Ell! You’ve got nothing to worry about!

🐴 Jamie 🐴

Jamie is so strong it’s scary. Good luck trying to beat him in a fight if you ever attempt an escape.

He seems so innocent and kind on the outside, always willing to lend a hand when you’re struggling with Non-Non. If he’s being honest, he likes doing chores with you. It almost feels like the both of you are working on a farm together in the desolate outdoors. Just you, him, sprawling farmland, and no civilization in sight. How cute is that?

No one suspects he's obsessed until they look beyond that soft appearance of his. His gaze will linger to the point where it’s creepy, and he’ll smile while he watches you work.

He’ll get better at technology and city life so he’ll have something else to chat about whenever it’s just you and him.

If he finds out that you’re interested in something, he’ll try his best to learn more about it. Oh, you mentioned a new movie that’s been released in the human world? Maybe he’ll have to see it for himself. Did you want to try a new pastry from your favorite bakery? Jamie will buy it for you, so you should go with him!

He’s reliable, kind, and helpful—surely you’ll fall for those qualities. If not, he’ll find another way. After all, there’s a saying that goes ‘where there’s a will, there’s a way,’ and it’s not like he’ll give up anytime soon.

Jamie likes to imagine a comfortable life with you on the farm. Both of you will tend to the land and the animals, you’ll always have fresh crops, and you'll be together forever. It’s an ideal fantasy, but if you’re not willing he might just have to lock you up in the stables. 

Jamie doesn’t fret over potential rivals. If he was able to silence the thugs in his neighborhood, a few pesky humans are nothing.

He’ll get flustered when you say anything nice to him. It really warms his heart to be at the receiving end of your caring words.

And it’s even better when you're accepting his suffocating love. You’ll find that the bed is much softer than the stable. Just don’t push him too far. Sometimes he doesn’t realize his own strength, and your bones can only take so much pressure.

💋 Licht 💋

Licht didn’t think he’d find his soulmate so soon! Whether you click or not, Licht certainly feels a special connection. He’s going to flirt with you no matter what.

It’s up to you whether you respond to his playful advances, but if you decide to humor him be prepared to have this man all over you. If you’re returning his playful gestures and remarks, it must mean something!

Licht lives for storybook romance. There’s something so lovely about sweeping his true love off of their feet, so he’d like to woo you in traditional ways. He’ll gift you your favorite candies, give you a bouquet of flowers, and buy you cute trinkets that remind him of you.

He takes note of what you wear and whether or not you put on a perfume/cologne on certain days. He’ll memorize your fashion style and then try to match it with his own. Licht’s happy whenever the two of you conveniently match outfits. It’s almost like you’re a couple.

He’ll probably spray his own cologne on your clothes if he ever gets a hold of them. You’ll wonder where this new scent came from, and Licht will be over the moon if you decide to leave it as it is.

Licht will invite you on dates under the guise that the two of you are just hanging out as friends. Lo and behold, his real motive is to act like your boyfriend. If you aren’t careful, he might just go around telling strangers that you’re his partner.

He’s always touching you in some way. Sometimes it’s an arm around your waist or his hands are on your shoulders. To some, it’s just his affectionate personality, but to you it’s completely suffocating.

Whenever he holds your hand, it almost feels like he’s daring you to try. Like he wants you to run off and get a taste of the scary world so that he can come in to save you like a true prince.

He hopes that enough flirting will have you confessing. All of these romantic gestures have got to count for something!

Despite this, Licht wants to believe you love him as much as he loves you. Tricking himself is easy, but convincing you is going to be a challenge.

Day Team (Die)

🎹 Theo 🎹

Theo’s harbored some dark thoughts ever since he witnessed you and Nine in the storage room, happily playing the piano like a pair of friends. Like a pair of lovers.

Theo can’t stand it when the others are around you, especially if they have ill-intent. Whenever he takes care of bullies or vengeful spirits, he’s got this dead look on his face. It’s devoid of any feeling, and his eyes are filled with silent anger. It’s a stare that does more than curse; it could probably kill.

He’s rather clingy, always insisting that he accompany you to and from your destinations. If you decline, he’ll just smile and act polite. But if he finds out that you decided to go with someone else...

Theo wants to be the only one in your life. Everyone else is just a worthless germ that needs to be scrubbed away. If they linger around you for too long, he worries you’ll become infected.

He doesn’t want to hurt you, but sometimes you need to learn a lesson. If you’re so picky about eating the food he so graciously went out and purchased, then maybe you don’t deserve to eat at all. Not until you warm up to his cooking, that is.

He’s willing to do anything for you in order to appear perfect. If you were to tell him to shoulder your workload, he’d do it without a single complaint. If you wanted him to watch paint dry, he’d do it with his head full of you.

All he ever thinks about is you. Sure, his mind flits from June to new recipes to the piano every now and then, but it always seems to settle on you in the end.

What did you eat for breakfast? Did you get enough sleep? Would you like something to drink? Where are you going with Youssef? Why is Nine getting close to you? Why aren’t you looking at him?

Theo will know everything about you in time. Whether you like it or not, he’s going to unearth every detail he can. Even mundane habits you don’t pay attention to. Before you know what’s happening, Theo’s got your schedule memorized thoroughly.

He holds no remorse for those who get in his way. As sweet and disarming as he may seem to those around him, Theo’s wicked behind closed doors. That spell book of his has no business gathering all this dust.

🌹 Louis 🌹

Everyone assumes Louis has no interest in anyone other than himself, so it’s a surprise when he starts to give you more attention than normal.

His compliments start getting personal and they still don’t make sense. Just the other day, you were trudging through the hall, dead-tired, when Louis passed you. He stopped, smiled, and said, “Thy radiance outshines the brightest of stars!”

He’s always energetic like that, so it’s not like his behavior is particularly strange. But he spends more time flattering you than himself. His main priority isn’t his beautiful face anymore.

You deserve the world. Why hasn’t anyone given it to you yet? Fear not because Louis is determined to give you everything you could ever want. He’s a prince, after all, so it’s only fair that you sit upon the throne with him.

There’s no room for anyone else in this relationship. It’s just you and him. If you were to leave him, his heart would shatter! Sadness has never been a good fit on Louis, and you know how much he cares for his appearance. So you’ll do him a favor and stay so he won’t wilt like a rose, right?

It’s almost like he lives off of you. You’re his sunlight, water, and fresh air. Any less of your attention and he’s sighing dramatically. Won’t you be a dear and cheer him up? After all, it’s not every day you see Louis so upset.

He doesn’t want you to hate him. If you do, Louis will just ignore your hurtful feelings. He’s got more than enough love to go around. Surely that’ll convince you that he means no harm.

You’ll be treated like royalty, and everyone else is a mere peasant. Sure, Louis can say that he treasures everyone, but some people just aren’t worth his time.

Naturally, a prince deserves the finest, and he won’t settle for anyone who isn’t you.

So don’t fret! Those chains are only temporary, and once you show him some hospitality he’s willing to ease up on his restrictions. Although his sense of freedom is rather cracked.

♞ Ethan ♞

Ethan is a tough case. He hardly shows his emotions, so it’s difficult to determine how he’s feeling. He’ll never show any hostility towards you, though. It’s nothing but warmth and kindness.

When it comes to the others, he’ll give them the cold shoulder and a few cruel remarks. His patience tends to wear thin when he sees people bothering you.

Ethan’s like a hawk. He’ll keep an eye on you to make sure you’re staying out of trouble and he’ll swoop in as soon as something unsavory happens.

He’ll treat you like a glass figurine that’s always on the verge of breaking. At some point, he becomes your unofficial knight in a way. He’s willing to defend you by all means necessary, so everyone else should back off if they know what’s best for them.

At first, he scorned these feeble emotions for getting in the way of his stony resolve, but now he’s come to accept them.

It’s impossible to deter him from his motives. Once he’s got his mind set, he won’t change it. After all, everything he does is completely intentional.

He’ll just stare at you while you struggle in those bindings. If you were smart, you’d just accept your fate and act docile, but Ethan’s not a fool. He’ll keep you bound for as long as it takes.

You can try to reason with him, but nothing ever works. No matter how sweet the deal may seem, he never agrees to any of it.

Ethan will take care of you while you’re adjusting to a permanent life with him. You won’t go a day without a bath, healthy meals, or a lack of sleep. If Ethan says you’ll bathe, you’ll bathe. If he says you’ll eat, you’ll eat. His word are practically law.

Despite his harsh rules, he’s not that hard on you. He’d never lay a hand upon you, nor will you find yourself at the end of his sharpened sword. As long as you fall into a pleasant routine with little complaint, he’ll be happy.

💥 June 💥

June doesn’t realize his feelings for you are unhealthy. He just thinks they’re a natural part of life! Everyone falls in love at some point, right? So you can’t blame him when he’s doing everything he can to spend more time with you.

Your paperwork will never get done because June wants you to watch him while he trains. He’ll even show you his workout routine, hoping you’ll agree to train with him one day.

He’s one of the Reapers who doesn’t get jealous much. Unless someone’s really trying to get him to snap—which doesn’t happen often. But in the event that he does feel envious, he’ll frown a bit, his voice won’t be at its usual loudness, and he’ll sulk.

Immediately perks up the moment you give him any attention. He practically lives off of your reactions and has no problem announcing that to everyone.

June will remain loyal to you no matter what! Nothing can separate the two of you, and he’s convinced himself that you feel exactly the same. If you’re always smiling, it must mean that you accept his feelings! So then why have you started acting awkward when he continues to ramble passionately about how much he admires your strength and persistence?

Try to leave him and he’ll be so heartbroken. June won’t know how to react! Why would you want to leave? He’s never done anything that would warrant this kind of behavior. Maybe he just needs to give you more affection.

Bright and early, he’s knocking on your dorm with a huge grin. “Manager, the sun hasn’t risen yet, but that doesn’t mean we should wait for it! Let’s train hard today! Haha!”

June loves protecting you. Whenever he saves you from danger, he feels like a hero in those action movies he loves so much. Anyone would love to get saved by someone who’d die for them! This sort of loyalty will have you falling for him in no time.

And if it doesn’t, he can just create a few perilous scenarios. What you don’t know can’t kill you, right?

You’re his soulmate, so there’s no way he’d give you up in his afterlife.

[iam93percentstardust]

buckytony for the ask game?

1. Coffee shop AU: Who is the barista, and who frequents the coffee shop?

Tony frequents the coffee shop. Bucky has been working at Bean True to Yourself (the owners are hipsters) for the last three years, trying to put himself and Steve through college because while they both got scholarships, it wasn’t enough and Steve’s health doesn’t let him hold a study job. Bucky has gotten pretty good at latte art actually. Only Natasha knows that it’s because he’s got a crush on the cute brunet with the messy hair and Bambi eyes that comes in sleep-deprived every single morning and probably doesn’t even notice the hearts Bucky puts in his lattes.

Tony definitely notices and it’s only because he’s spent so much time in the spotlight that he doesn’t blush every single time he sees the new art. Besides, he remembers when he first started coming here and the latte art was terrible. Bucky’s probably just testing out his artistic skills on Tony cause he knows he won’t judge him. There’s no feelings involved, right?

2. Highschool/College AU: Who is the straight-A student, and who’s the backrow slacker?

Tony has come to the conclusion that the only way to get Howard’s attention is if he puts absolutely no effort into anything at all, which is why he’s currently taking graduate-level courses as Edward Carbonell but Tony Stark is failing out of high school. Any attention is better than no attention, right?

And maybe it helps that his teachers come to him after class and suggest that he find himself a tutor and did you know that Bucky, Mr. Gorgeous himself, works in our tutoring program? I’m sure he’d love to help you, Mr. Stark. Okay, so maybe they don’t call Bucky gorgeous, maybe that’s just Tony’s own mind, but it’s not like he’s wrong. But Tony gave up on school a long time ago and Bucky has a motorcycle and wears leather jackets and is super popular all while having straight-A’s. There’s no way he even knows Tony’s name, let alone would ever like him.

3. Rivals to lovers AU: Who takes their rivalry seriously, and who is half in it just to push the other’s buttons?

Bucky isn’t entirely certain how he ended up as a supervillain’s sidekick and he definitely isn’t sure that he really wants to be there but he won’t deny to himself that the best part of the job is facing off against Iron Lad while Captain America and the Black Widow are fighting each other for control of the Deathstick of Destiny or whatever it is this week.

Iron Lad’s just so cute with his sense of justice and his wit and the conviction that he and Bucky are destined to be nemeses for life. And one time, a building fell on top of them and Bucky got to peel him out of his compromised suit and that was the best thing ever because he got to see Iron Lad’s flight suit, which accentuates the most perfect ass ever. Seriously, Bucky just wants to reach down and squeeze but he’s pretty sure that then Iron Lad might actually use the unibeam that he’s been threatening to use for ages.

4. Enemies to lovers AU: Which one switches sides?

Oof, Bucky does. He comes back from HYDRA to find a world that’s absolutely a bigger mess than he remembers it being and maybe that’s those rose-tinted glasses Sam keeps accusing him and Steve of wearing but he looks at Iron Man, taking out the ultra-wealthy and distributing the money back to the people, and then he looks at the Avengers and how they keep causing more property damage than they can fix and decides that he knows what side he wants to be on.

He slips out of the compound in the dead of night, unnoticed by all except Natasha who just wishes him luck, and tracks Iron Man across two continents and an ocean back to his secret hideout - in Latveria of all places, who knew that Doom could share? - knocks on the door and when a man with the prettiest brown eyes Bucky has ever seen answers the door, Bucky announces, “Hi, I’m here to be a villain.”

In retrospect, he decides as he’s dragging a fainted Tony inside, that might not have been the best way to introduce himself to his future employer.

5. Soulmate AU: Who is eager to meet their soulmate? Who absolutely does not want to meet their soulmate?

The thing is, Tony knows that soulmates aren’t always perfect. His parents were soulmates and they absolutely hated each other. But Ana and Jarvis were soulmates too, and so is Aunt Peggy and Uncle Daniel, and they loved each other very much, so even though he’s been alive for almost 40 years and never once met his soulmate, he still has high hopes.

Bucky fell from the train without knowing his soulmate and the only thing he can thinks is Good. They won’t wind up with someone like Bucky, someone who has nightmares from his time as a lab experiment, who kills people without even blinking, whose main purpose in life is to be the shadow that dogs Steve Rogers’ heels. But then he wakes up.

And then he forgets he ever even had a soulmate.

The next time Bucky remembers anything, it’s 2014, he’s in a glass room (cage, really), and there’s someone standing with their back to him outside of the cage, doing something on a tablet.

“What’s it gonna take to let me out of here?” Bucky asks.

The person jumps, turns, and then a slow smile spreads over his face. “I don’t know, how about dinner?”

Fuck.

6. Single parent AU: Which one is the single parent? (Alt. if they’re both single parents: Which one is open to starting a new relationship from the start? Which one is never planning on finding love again… Until they meet the other and are instantly smitten?)

Harley’s got a protective streak a mile wide (Bucky thinks he’s learned it from Uncle Steve), which is why Bucky isn’t surprised when Harley comes home with a black eye and immediately proclaims that it wasn’t his fault, there were these two big kids picking on a younger girl on the playground.

“Oh yeah and here’s this, I guess,” Harley mumbles and shoves a piece of paper with a phone number on it in Bucky’s direction.

Bucky holds an ice pack up to Harley’s eye and asks, “What’s this?”

“Mr. Stark’s phone number. I said I wanted it in case Peter wanted to play but he seemed nice and looked like your type and I’m tired of you going out with jerks who don’t like me so I got it for you.”

Well, leaving that aside, “Who’s Peter?”

“Morgan’s brother. He’s in my class and he helped when he saw I was helping her out.”

Right, like that explains anything. He dials the number, intent on seeing if this Peter can tell him the full story, only for someone to say, “Stark residence, can I help you?”

Bucky doesn’t believe in love at first sight (er, voice) but whoever it is has got such a pretty voice and he kind of wants to hear them moaning his name so he purrs, “You sure can, doll.”

Maybe he shouldn’t be so surprised when they make an offended sound and hang up.

7. Doctor AU: Which one is the longsuffering doctor? Which one is the patient?

“Mr. Stark, please, I’m begging you, wear PPE when you’re working in your lab.”

“But then when would I get to see you?” Tony chirps, seemingly uncaring that Bucky is setting his fingers.

“At dinner,” Bucky says before he can think better of it.

They both freeze. Then Tony slowly says, “And that’s okay?”

Honestly? Probably not but Tony has been coming to the ER for months for his lab-related injuries and Bucky is always his doctor and they always end up flirting and he’s tired of this back-and-forth. So when he’s done splinting Tony’s fingers, he raises his hand to his mouth and brushes the softest of kisses over the back, smiling when Tony gasps.

8. Bodyguard AU: Who is the bodyguard? Who are they protecting? Which one is secretly pining for the other?

Howard Stark is convinced that someone is out to get him, his wife, and his son. He can easily take care of him and his wife but Tony recently moved out of the mansion, insistent on making his own way in the world so surreptitiously, Howard hires Bucky to keep an eye on Tony by moving into the apartment next door.

It’s probably the easiest job Bucky has ever had because Tony almost never leaves their building, too caught up in his projects as he is. He gets food delivered and sometimes, he has friends over but otherwise, he’s pretty much a recluse.

And that’s a damn shame that is because Bucky has really only seen Tony twice so far and both times have about knocked him flat out on the floor.

9. Pirate AU: Who is the pirate? Who is the member of the royal family who did not sign up for this?

Crown Prince Anthony Edward Stark, first of his name, heir to the throne, would like everyone to know that he absolutely did not sign up for this, no way, no how. Just about everyone on the ship though, sees it when he gives Captain Barnes what he obviously thinks is a secretive wink. And they all know that they’re going to hear it when the captain and his “captive” go below the deck that night.

Sam scratches his head awkwardly and looks over at Admiral Rhodes on the other ship. “You want to come over?” he calls. “They could be down there for a while.”

Rhodes sighs and crosses over. “Chessboard still set up?” he asks.

“Nope, Nat had to move it for one of her poker games. But I remember where the pieces were.”

10. Childhood best friends AU: Which one was super obviously in love with the other the whole time? Who was oblivious until they were older?

Everyone knows that Tony and Bucky are going to get married someday - except for Tony and Bucky themselves. Steve has been trying for ages to get Bucky to see that Tony is pining just as hard for him as Bucky is and Rhodes has been doing the same for Tony but they’re just...so oblivious. It makes Natasha want to bang her head against the wall - or maybe just lock them in a closet.

Except Clint tried that, right after Tony gave Bucky his first kiss when they were fifteen and Bucky just thought it was because they were friends. They’d been in that closet all night and when Clint finally opened the door in the morning, they were snuggling but still not together so he thinks they’re just too oblivious. There’s a school-wide betting pool on if they’ll get their act together before graduation.

(It’s okay though because Tony and Bucky have been dating since they were freshman. They’re just waiting to see how long it takes everyone else to notice.)

[kanene-yaaay-o-retorno]

You’re a WHAT

Kanene’s Notes:

I’m weak for carzy scenarios  and glitter, so BOOOM!! Why don’t get these two things together??? :D)/ This fic marks the end of my break, I will be (trying to) going back to my old projects and probably won’t be writing for some weeks kjnhgfvghjkjhg. Wish me luck! <33

This wasn’t suppose to take so much to be written but I lost my PC and life got in the way :v   Buuuut! I manage to finish it and I already count this as a victory! xP

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* That fanfic has Remy and Roman. They’re friendos yay :3. Oh, and this is pretty crazy. Context: The morning after Black Friday when you’re grumpy and wanting to kick the society in the face. A LOT of swearing, Patton does not approve.  

* This characters do not belongs to me. They all belongs to the amazing Thomas Sanders in his series of Sanders Sides.

* Something around 2.900 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* Tô com preguiça de postar a versão em português brasileiro aaaa! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Try and have fun with new hobbies, be safe, talk with the one that you love, drink water and sleep well! Byeioo!~

                             [~*~]

Roman thought himself as a really lucky human being. Unbelievable lucky.

 It wasn't due to the apartment where he currently lived - Too much dull for his personal taste and space, getting even smaller from the day he admitted a messy, sassy and with sleep problems roommate, since Roman just started his musical career and couldn't afford an own house yet. - or the fact that was finally able to pursue his dream after years and years of just picturing, painting this moment on his future, only to find out his fantastic breathtaking and incredible goals weren’t nearly close of the cold reality, at least for now (Who would know that, after umpteenth days of hard studying and training he would need years and years of experience in order to even START wondering in get out of his partial-time job on that Electronic Store) or any other reason someone would be able to consider himself a receptacle of pure, brute luck, enlightened by the spotlights of the good, pleasant destiny...

 ... Or at least the most pleasant it could be in the horrible and exhaustive middle of the night after a whole day filled with his attempts to survive and treat respectfully the unmerciful, dirty jungle that humanity was at Black Friday. Something around fifteen  hours working with massive hordes of unscrupulous zombies starved for a sale and able to even kill and die (more likely the first option) to get what they want and with souls (if they still got one) free of any slight sight of education, patience and morals to be inserted in a society which, as it seemed, was equally rotten as them. View point only proved as Roman was obligated to be working after his shift to "clean all the mess" - more like hide the bodies of exhausted warriors after such bloody battle. – the store because those sons of a...

 "... Bitch, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!!" The poor, frustrated employed shouted to nowhere specific, his face turning towards the sky, seeking in some way to show his all his hate to the cinematography - because this was too much coincidence to NOT be part of a movie or some random fanfic on the black hole that was internet - rain falling at full force leading the weather to became even more freezing as soaked them both with its cool, thick drops.

Anyway, what he was daydreaming about?

"Roman." Oh, yeah, the reason why he viewed himself as a truly lucky person. "My gurl, if you try to impersonate a fucking, dramatic, bitch crow in my ear even again, I swear in the name of my life juice bean that I'm going to KILL you with my bare hands and these sunglasses."

 At least his best friend since, honestly, diapers, who coincidentally was his roommate and even more coincidentally, his coworker was just screwed as Roman himself. Which automatically made the duo less screwed, however equally pissed off, something that neither of them discovered if that was a good or bad thing, yet.

 "Fuck you, Remy" Roman whispered between an tired yawn, too much tired to even think about some nickname or to put real heat in his words as he got instinctively closer to the other, the one called taking off his jacket and lazily throwing it over their heads, doing his best to cover they both with the small available black leathered fabric, the act intertwined with grumpy grumbling and motions which would probably slap Roman's face if he wasn't careful. "I'm the one who buys your coffee."

 "Having my incredible, unique personality in your life should be motivation enough for you to buy me the entire Starbucks Company, be glad I'm weak to your cute face and am going easy on ya."

 " 'Cute'? Excuse me, I'm the most handsome, hottest and fabulous man you will ever met in your lowly life, mortal."

 Remy snorted at this "Whatever helps you sleep at night, babe, but if it's going to be like that your ego soon will have to pay his part at the rent."

 "Well, this 'ego' here was the only thing between your highness and jail after stopping you from committing all those murders today."

 "Bold of you to assume I wouldn't use my contacts to hide the evidences." Their tune were already completely sleepy, bodies instinctively leaning onto each other as the words stumbled, mixed and almost lost themselves in the soundly wind as slipped from their lips. Roman just laughed.

 "Well, if by ‘contacts’ mean 'Virgil' good luck getting him out of his bed on his free day. You would became the fucking new King Arthur." Roman rubbed his eyes, trying to physically force his eyelashes to not close, a new yawn finding its way to his mouth. He didn't even know about what they were talking anymore.

 "I roll the dice to cast Badass Nerd Bitch."

 “Logan??”

 “He likes to study nature stuff, especially at night, I’m sure he already knows some good spots to hide bodies. Glasses.”

 “Glasses?”

 “Glasses.”

 “OMG, the anime character with glasses.” Roman stopped, his mouth wide open as if all the secrets of the universe had been revealed to him.

 “Exactly.” Remy extended each syllable, grinning smugly.

 “I’ve never-“

“THIS IS A ROBERY!!”

 The sentence, which appeared to came out from nowhere, cut the air in a harsh, sharp tune, breaking the barriers and tying them up in the same place in a frozen position and wide eyes staring astonished the hooded form and their unreadable features under the bad illumination of the light poles helped by the increased storm. The wind trespassed them, stirring their clothes and making the muscles shake both of the alone employees in the middle of a dark, empty street at the dawn, even if the dangerously shiny knife directed towards their direction still in a hatred silence. 

 “My.” Roman knew he probably should be afraid, the freezing feeling running across his veins and frightening his brain and actions as infected his words in an unspeakable terror impossible to ignore nor escape. “fucking.” However, the only thing that slipped through his next was the purest, deepest, truest... “ASS.” Indignation.

 Roman thought about a lot of things. He thought about running away, grabbing Remy’s arm and sprinting across the street, about scream in the top of his lungs the waterfall of swearing already racing half way to his throat and even about kicking the knife out of the other’s hands and then kicking him - with a couple of cool moves he saw in some actions films - together with their frecking audacity to try to rob him of all the people in the world. Roman, who asked himself if he would have enough money to eat in the next week with a concerning frequency, who wondered if this is the life he will have until the end of his existence, if he will ever be able to accomplish his dreams.

 His gaze changed to Remy, who was paralyzed, trembling between the poor light of the street and the massive rain. Roman swallowed. Everything was in his hands.

 For a piece of Roman felt the strange urge to spill to the figure before him the story of his life, all his tries, all his battles, his everyday fights to make his dreams real. Blow by blow. Day by day. A life destined to go after everything he wished to himself, everything he wanted to life, to experience, to savor, to do everything in his hands to ignore and one day maybe, hopefully forget all the ghosts - these ones always accompanied by those emotionless, sharp whispers - asking, doubting nonstop if he ever would be able to do all of this, if he was doing the rights thing, if it was really worth all of it.

 However, before the first word even slipped of Roman’s tongue or his mind came fully back to Earth, Remy was already positioning himself strategically between the robber and his friend, the currently only one with the leather jacket falling on his shoulders. However, Remy didn’t seem nearly soaked as he should be, and for a heartbeat, the same one which Remy moved his hands to his jeans’ pocket, his fingers touching and firmly holding something there, Roman could swear that the unexpectedly shiver running across his spine wasn’t due the cold wind.

 Nor the sentence hurled in the clouds.

 “You know what?? Fuck it.”

 And then he unsheathed his magic wand.

 Roman loved with the entirety of his heart all kind of magic, he could easily spend an entire afternoon (which he already had, by the way) listing his favorites movies, musicals and stories with that theme. That also could be easily said by the thousands and thousands of worlds, universes and lifes he invented – in and out of his head - about the subject trough his childhood and handful of teenage years, random ideas and inspirations appearing and dancing in his mind until nowadays. If that only wasn’t enough to convince someone then the umpteenth memories of mornings and afternoons bathed in the smell of books, rocked by the calm silene of the public library as he turned one more page, his back lightly aching by the bad position assumed behind the shelters, in a place he strategically found and claimed as his own Bridge to Terabithia, enjoying every moment as if nothing else mattered. Perhaps you wouldn’t even need to swim in such deep, ancient waters to find out his love, since at least fifty percent of his day was dedicated to shout, hummer or murmur Disney songs.

 However, as rays of pure energy  - shiny and kind of glittery one - involved and swirled from Remy’s, who now was floating a few centimeters above the ground, wand in stripes that got lighter and lighter, begging to spin faster around the aforementioned, creating a spere of a power stunning and big enough to stop the rain in the corner.

 The silence resulting from the lack of the storm didn’t had the opportunity to fill the moment, being obligated to give its space to a soft, intense melody whispered in their ears. The notes standing some more moments in the air, the beating following the changes in the shadowed figure inside the spere. Hesitations taking over the loud, quick heartbeats when the song finally stopped.

 The power’s spere finally exploded, the impact leading to an unbelief and intensive force push both human meters away.

 “Get. Out.”  Remy’s tune still the same, his form – Now adorned by a gleaming crop top, his fluttering skirt over shorts floating in synchrony with the veils which surrounded his clothes and wrapping his arms, the ending spreading in the air as a bunch of angry powered and fancy snakes. - even with the new vestments full of glitter (this probably would be a hell to get off, later) still the same, his gaze, powerful – a new meaning pouring from this word – strong, still the same. But yet…

 Yet his wide eyed, heart hammering in his chest friend since he could remember found himself struggling to connect the same Remy who he had known – if he could still say that? -  all his life with the same being who gleamed dangerously before him.

 The magic wand danced in a quick flick and a trash can came of what seemed nowhere to hit the wobbled and absolutely terrified robber, who fell with a soft thumph in the ground, unconscious.

 “-man, Roman!!! Don’t just stay standing there like a tree, help me here, gurl!” Suddenly the called snapped from his own sea of thoughts, submerging and astonished blinking in Remy’s direction. The rain started to fell on them again, and when their eyes met, when Roman saw the same guy who spent afternoons climbing trees and pretending they were knights and dragons attacking or saving the world, when he recalled the silent sleepovers where they just sat near of each other enjoying the mutual company, the grumpy mornings in their apartment, the comfort hugs, the looks full of words, the smiles filled with meaning, the friendship stuffed with so many, many memories... 

 Nostalgia. The feeling that everything was changed albeit something… something important always stayed. Roman felt, truly felt it and fixed his glare into that brilliant – quite literally - glare adorned with a ‘I’m about to punch your cocky face if you keep fucking narrating every freaking second of your life, ya bitch’ he realized... 

 It was Remy.

 He took a deep breath, moving closer and gradually relaxing as the aforementioned focused in trying to lift the guy, swearing more frequently than raindrops fell from the sky.

 “Remy?”

 “Yeah?”

 “First crush.”

 The other stopped, frowning confused. Roman didn’t quiver, feeling he deserved some sort of answer. At least about this. “What?”

 “My first crush. Who?”

 “Kovu.” Remy maybe was a bit cold hearted, maybe he wasn’t the best with human interactions or knew exactly what Roman wanted with that… but he knew Roman enough to realize this was important. Essentially when the said seemed to relax, his form untensing itself and being allowed to get closer of the magic being.

 “Okay. Okay, okay…” Roman took a deep breath, grounding himself. Their gaze met, his next words coming a little calmer. “Okay.”

 “Please don’t make me sing that serenate you made for him. I’m gonna fucking quit.”

 “Oh, shut up!! Our first love is something special, mister I-Can’t-Choose-Between-The-Beast-And-The-Beauty.”

 Remy decided to ignore the words, slightly lowing his sunglasses with his special Judgmental ‘Bold of you to assume I have enough shame to be mocked’ Look. Roman just flipped in his direction, taking advantage that the other’s hands were occupied.

 It was still Remy, with a whole more of style and glitter – Why are there so much glitter here?? - but it was just Remy. Like just any other day.

 Before he even realized, Roman was already at his friend’s - and as it seems a magical being - side, helping him to carry the robber’s body to somewhere dry so he wouldn’t die of hypothermia.

 “Why don’t you- Ouch!! My feet, dammit!” His breaths came out as puffs, the effort leading to his already exhausted muscles only protest even more and very much probably curse him later with sore movements for the audacity to transport anything heavier than a pen. “Why don’t you use your... Wizard magic or something to carry him??”

 “Oh. My. Gosh. Roman, you are sooo intelligent, why aren’t you in Harvard? Ow! Ow! Ow!!” Remy’s sarcasm was cut when the other kicked, or did his best to with their actual position, him in protest.  “Homophobic.” He exhaled a mix of irritation and a snort, receiving a playful punch in his arm by their inside joke.  “I’m your Fairy Godmother, brainless. Unless it was you laid in this stupid, cold ground I can’t use my magic anymore... Except if this is someone of your family but I doubt-”

 “Wait, wait, wait, WAIT!!! YOU ARE MY FAIRY GODM-”

 “No, no way, nope, we are NOT having this conversation right now.” Remy, the Fairy Godmother let go of the unconscious body in a way that probably will make the guy wake up sore, perhaps with a concussion even, directing his index finger in Roman’s direction in a deep, determined stare full of darkness and things that Roman could swear would make Remy be expelled from the group of Friendly Fairy GodmotherS  or whatever... thing he was inserted. “Let me tell you what we are doing right now: We are going to home, change our clothes then I’m getting coffee and you will get sleep so I don’t have to face nor care about the freak consequences of my damn actions.”

 ...

 “That...” Roman stop, as if was considering his next words. Remy’s face just scrunched in a bigger, firmer frown. “That would be hella scary if you didn’t look like someone who just stole a store of glitter and got attacked by the gay, glitterly, shiny fairies who protected the place.”

 “Go fuck yourself. I’m locking you outside when we get there.”

 “Noo, please don’t! My evil stepmother didn’t let me go to the prince castle and now I need help! Crying emoji, crying emoji.” Roman mocked, imitating sad sobs and sniffles as quick his pace to follow the other, who flipped him.

 “I’m this far from knock you out with my magical wand and then you will see who is the evil stepmother.” His wand gleamed in warning, the red color getting mixed and trembled by the fast movements of his veils, one of them getting dangerously next to Roman’s face, who cleverly got silent for some heartbeats, the sound of the rain slowly calming their heartbeats and rocking them, the tiredness gaining the space which, piece by piece, was being unhanded by their adrenaline.

 They arrived home, both still quiet, feeling free as a relieved sign left their lips. Remy threw his soaked jacket in some dark corner, the bed being the only thing which was allowed to take over all his thoughts and will. 

 An awed gasp echoed behind him and he immediately regretted his move.

 “YOU HAVE WINGS????”

 Before his eyelashes closed, the shiny of the wand disappearing gradually as an ungodly amount of sleepiness gained complete control over his body, relaxing each one of his fibers and as a warm, magic good feeling fills every single cell in his being, Roman wondered if ‘Fuck it’ was the name of Remy’s spell.

[ayellowcurtain]

Can you write a drunk eliott seeing Lucas at a party Emma’s throwing because Lucas had to come late and he asks the boys if they know who that boy is and they say oh that’s Lucas, but he has a BF and eliott gets all sad not knowing he’s the boyfriend in question. Lol and eliott being all clingy and cute and drunk and Lucas taking care of him.

Part 3

----------------------------------------------

Eliott has never been so happy. It’s hard to keep his hands to himself when Lucas is around but he’s managing. He tries to keep his happiness and their relationship to himself, but sometimes are harder than others. Especially when there are drinks involved. It’s late, Eliott lost count of much he drank already, his head feels like a cloud, he can’t really grasp his thoughts quick enough, everything is a little too light and fuzzy.

“Here, some water for you.” Lucas comes back from the kitchen, putting too much intent in his words, with a threatening look in his eyes that make Eliott open the bottle and drink half of it at once, looking at Lucas as he drinks.

“What are you now? His babysitter?” Arthur teases, nudging Lucas with his elbow, looking at Eliott, but Eliott just smiles, not taking his eyes off of Lucas. Meanwhile, Lucas is looking at the floor beneath his feet, drinking his beer way too slowly. He’s still upset about the whole thing with Lucille.

They’re just talking when it’s extremely necessary. Whenever Eliott manages to sneak inside their house to sleep with Lucas, he’s constantly worried, checking a million times if the door is locked and Eliott is forbidden to get out of the bedroom by himself. Eliott justs wants them to enjoy their relationship, it shouldn’t feel like a burden and it seems like it’s one for Lucas.

The boys already moved on to some other subject, but Eliott is worried, staring at Lucas.

“What’s up with you today?” Lucas looks up at Eliott through his lashes and he just shrugs, drinking his beer.

“He must be worried about his hook up.” Yann says, touching the bottom of his beer against Lucas’ like he’s toasting, proud of his best friend. Eliott is lost, looking from one to the other.

“Hook up? Who is it?” Lucas finishes his beer to avoid rolling his eyes, putting the bottle at the counter behind him and Eliott is staring at him, looking for any reaction, but Lucas just looks bothered that he’s the subject matter.

“We don’t know. He’s keeping whoever it is a big secret. We tried to get some information, but his lips are sealed. But he has someone." Yann teases, wiggling his eyebrows and Eliott laughs even though he’s trying so very hard not to be jealous. Lucas hasn’t talked to his friends yet or anyone so they’re not public yet and they’re not always together at parties. Maybe Lucas might have kissed someone else. Whoever it is, Eliott needs to know what happened and who it is.

"Oh, he has someone..." He tries to get more details about the person, but the boys just shake their heads and don’t seem too excited.

"It's Lucas' dirty little secret, he never tells anything about it, but maybe it’s getting serious and he’s just waiting for a little to tell his best friends," Basile says with a straight face and Yann and Arthur just keep looking at how uncomfortable Lucas is getting. He gets grumpy so easily and apparently, that’s the most fun the boys are getting tonight so they’re enjoying themselves. 

"But he's in love?" Eliott asks and Lucas looks at him again and he’s angry, but Eliott is curious now. If the person it’s him, there’s nothing better than to know by the others how Lucas feels about the whole thing. If it’s a stranger, he needs to know if Lucas is falling in love while still with him. His heart would break. 

"Oh! 100%! I've never seen Lucas like this. He’s our party animal and now he’s always the first one to leave, saying that he needs to go home, but lucky for him, mec! he’s definitely getting more sex than any of us."

It’s what Eliott needed to hear, he doesn’t try to hide how happy it makes him hear it, but the boys don’t seem to get why. And Lucas is finally talking, telling everyone to fuck off, getting another beer and disappearing back inside the party, avoiding Eliott’s eyes. 

-

Lucas is finally a little more relaxed. The sun is starting to rise outside, but it doesn’t matter. All Eliott wanted was to make Lucas feel good tonight, no matter what. He needs to get over his issues with Lucille, it wasn’t his intention to hurt her and Eliott is sure she knows that, they just need some time and maybe to talk a little and everything will be like it was before Eliott.

The air is warm underneath the sheets, but not enough where it bothers. Each piece of clothing got lost during the last hour or two as they were getting warmer and warmer. Eliott watched Lucas’ expressions change as his hand wandered lower on Lucas’ torso, inside his tight underwear. Eliott could feel how tight it was inside the briefs when they were kissing and he wanted to help. 

He watched as Lucas arched his back, biting his lower lip to keep is moans inside his mouth. It was probably the longest handjob Eliott had ever given, but Lucas was enjoying it, too lost inside his own head to manage to form words, but as he got close to the edge, he moved his hip up and when Eliott continued to go slow, Lucas turned his head against the pillow to look at Eliott and he begged for Eliott to go faster and he obeyed. 

Lucas was still running his high when Eliott pulled him closer, wrapping his arm around his waist and Lucas was finally in a better mood, purring as he relaxed his body and let Eliott drag him closer.

One of Eliott’s favorite thing to do is look at Lucas, even better if it’s as close as he can be. Lucas just stays quiet, relaxes, watching as Eliott stare at him, paying extra attention to every feature for a few seconds.

Sometimes he’ll even quietly bring his hand to touch Lucas’ face to see if he’s real, how his skin feels under the pads of his fingers. Eliott’s fingers slip from Lucas’ jaw slowly through his neck, finally getting to the final destination: his collarbone. 

Eliott is always careful not to leave any marks that other people could see on Lucas but he doesn’t mind leaving a few on his chest, on his side, close to his ribs, on his inner thighs, where nobody will ever see, just him. The newer one is still fresh on Lucas’ pale skin, the red mark is turning darker by the minute and Eliott touches it when he sees Lucas closing his eyes.

As expected, Lucas grumbles and open his eyes, looking at Eliott so fondly he has to come closer again and kiss him, but he stops himself before they can actually touch lips and Lucas whines, putting his hand on Eliott’s neck to pull him closer and finally kiss, but Eliott doesn’t move, he just smiles. 

"I wanna kiss you, can I?" Eliott asks as he comes even closer, one elbow on each side of Lucas' pillow to hold his weight. Lucas wasn’t really paying atenttion to his words so it takes a moment for his eyes to actually focus on Eliott and understand that his boyfriend was talking.

"I'm always the one talking my feelings out, you're gonna have to say it loud this time, Lucas." Eliott brushes his lips against Lucas’, still looking at him, waiting for an answer.

"Yes" Lucas whispers, trying to come closer, staring at Eliott’s lips, but Eliott turns his head just enough to the side so he can’t reach his lips.

"Yes what?" Eliott raises his eyebrows and Lucas wiggles a little under him to try and have a little more freedom to pull Eliott closer if he tries to deflect again.

"Fuck, you're so annoying when you're drunk..." Lucas looks away to the side, frustrated, but he's smiling and blushing a little.

"I love you" Eliott's feelings just slip out of his tongue like it's no big deal. They never said it before, maybe it's too early and Lucas doesn't feel the same, but now it's done. 

Lucas is looking at him, completely in shock. His drunk mind doesn't let him regret saying it. And he's not expecting a reply either. So he brushes Lucas' hair back like he always does, kissing his cheek and finally dropping by his side, tangling their naked legs under the sheets.

Lucas is still looking up where Eliott was a second ago and Eliott can't stop looking at him. It's not so dark, they forgot to close the curtains before going to bed so Eliott can clearly see Lucas' messy hair that he loves so much, it looks soft, probably from all the touching he was doing until now. His lips are slightly parted, breathing very slowly, his profile is perfect. Eliott comes closer, lying his head on Lucas' shoulder, still watching every little movement that he does. 

It still blows his mind how they ended up like this, together in a mess of tangled limbs after a long night with their friends and the last few hours lost inside their bubble.

Lucas finally turns his head to look at Eliott as much as their position lets him, his fingertips just barely touching his the nape of Eliott’s neck, playing with his hair. 

"I love you too" he finally says with confidence and Eliott's heart gets so big and warm he can barely handle.

"Took all this time to figure out?" Eliott wiggles his eyebrows, trying to keep the conversation as light as he can and Lucas smiles at him, readjusting his position to be on his side, closer to Eliott.

"No, it's just that........I hope these are not just empty words. That this lasts." Now it’s Eliott’s turn to be a little surprised. Only in his best dreams Lucas would want them to last. The statement makes him a little more sober, caressing Lucas’ back.

“If it’s up to me it’ll last forever. I’m not leaving you, ever.” Eliott is aware of what he’s promising and how much weight that has to Lucas, but he’s sure of it. If this kind of things really exist, then Eliott is sure they were made for each other.

[albapuella]

How to Lose a Lover in 10 Days or Less: A Comprehensive Guide to Becoming a Future Romantic Failure (Chapter Three)

AO3

Fandom: Homestuck

Summary: How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days AU Dave needs to win a bet; Karkat needs to write an article. Shenanigans ensue.

Tags: Humanstuck, alternate universe - no sburb session, POV switches galore, implied/referenced child abuse Author’s note: This story is the result of a jam session I did with aceAdoxography on the davekat thirst federation discord server. This one's a little out of my usual wheelhouse, but I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. New chapters every Saturday/Sunday.  Didn’t bother with the formatting this time: You want the fancy formatting, go to AO3 :D

Day 3:

Since Karkat had not managed to scare Dave off with the... outburst yesterday, he figured he’d hooked the idiot as well as he was ever going to. Which meant it was time to start fucking it up. He did his best to ignore the sense of loss already forming in his chest at the thought. Whatever frustrations he’d felt during that hang out/date thing Dave had put him through yesterday, he couldn’t deny that he’d enjoyed the experience, too.

Dave was a dork who talked too much, but he was also witty and charming in a maladroit sort of way. And it had been nice to have someone appreciate Karkat’s sense of humor in return. For once. A part of him wished he had longer to enjoy their time together, but he knew better.

Since he knew better, he also knew it wasn’t the time to mope. It was time to go on the full offensive. “Offensive” being the operative word. In this case, it meant acting like himself. Karkat had been on his best behavior up to this point, and now he’d show Dave who the “real him” really was. If he played his cards right, he probably wouldn’t even have to go on another date to seal the deal.

Karkat felt his eyes ache, and he hated himself for being such an idiot. He’d known this wasn’t going to last—even without his article, it never would have lasted. He’d already proven a countless number of times that, while a fairly good friend, he was simply terrible as a romantic partner. Dave was just one more guy he’d never really had a chance with. Just one more tally mark to add to his failures.

---

When Dave woke up the next day, he saw that he had quite a few messages waiting for him. A handful from Rose about wedding plans (with a reminder of the dress code, because of course her wedding would have a fully defined dress code). A bunch from his far-flung friend Jade (mostly telling a story which did not require more than a quick “cool” on his part). A couple from John (who was excited that he’d be seeing Dave at the wedding). There were also several from Karkat. Which was kind of a relief: Dave hadn’t liked that he’d been the first one to message him all the time: it made him feel like he was bugging the guy. Especially after waking him up yesterday.

CG: OKAY ASSHOLE, HERE’S THE DEAL:

CG: YOU WANT TO DATE THE REAL ME. FINE.

CG: I AM DONE BEING ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR.

CG: BE PREPARED FOR ME TO COMMENT ON EVERY INANITY THAT DRIBBLES FROM YOUR MOUTH LIKE THE LEAVINGS OF AN INCONTINENT PIGEON.

CG: YOU ARE NOT HALF AS FUNNY AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. ALSO YOUR “RAPS” ARE AN AFFRONT TO THE GENRE AS WELL AS TO THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

CG: IF YOU THINK I AM JOKING OR BEING “CUTE”, YOU ARE WRONG. A STATE YOU SHOULD BE EXTREMELY FAMILIAR WITH BECAUSE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY SUFFERING FROM AT LEAST MODERATE BRAIN DAMAGE.

CG: I AM NOT NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN “A SNACK”. I ALSO DO NOT HAVE A “SEXY PROFESSOR THING GOING”. IN THE ENTIRE SPAN OF MY MISERABLE EXISTENCE, I HAVE NEVER BEEN ANYTHING WHICH COULD BE CONSIDERED TO BE IN EVEN THE MEAGEREST OF WAYS “SEXY”.

CG: MAYBE YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE THAT FOR YOURSELF IF YOU EVER TOOK OFF THOSE DOUCHE SHADES YOU ARE ALWAYS WEARING.

CG: I HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED THIS SMALL TASTE OF WHAT IS TO COME IN YOUR FUTURE SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO KEEP DATING ME.

Dave read the messages a few times, frowning. Mostly, he felt confused, too confused to feel either amused or insulted. Sudden. This was sudden. Also, the more he read the messages, the more he thought Karkat was being more mean to himself than to Dave. His inner Rose (the voice which sounded like Rose but was not nearly as smart as the real thing) said that Karkat was lashing out, hoping to hurt Dave before Dave could hurt him.

And wasn’t that sad?

TG: first of all

TG: you are a total snack

TG: this is not negotiable

TG: do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars

TG: not to be all objectifying or whatever

TG: but that was literally the first thing i thought when i saw you

TG: that guy is a total snack

TG: and fuck you you are sexy

TG: i bet you look even better without the sweater

TG: you are the bank and im the debtor

TG: payin compliments is my cheddar

TG: need proof read the letter

TG: dear mr vantas you are hella sexy signed me

CG: OH MY GOD.

CG: THAT WAS THE PART YOU CHOSE TO FOCUS ON. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU AT ALL. MOST PEOPLE DON’T LIKE BEING INSULTED. IS THIS A KINK FOR YOU? IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? ARE YOU A FUCKING MASOCHIST?

Dave was grinning so much his cheeks hurt. Nailed it.

TG: im not a masochist

TG: but i think i might be getting a thing for grumpy assholes

TG: it needs more testing

TG: how about we hang out for a few hours today

TG: and see

“CG is typing” appeared and disappeared several times.

CG: REALLY. YOU REALLY WANT TO KEEP DATING ME.

TG: yea unless you dont want to keep dating me

TG: i hope you do

TG: want to keep dating me

TG: i want to know you better

TG: and kiss you sometime

This time the “CG is typing” message went on for quite a while. Dave wondered if maybe he shouldn’t have sent that last message. Then again, he’d already called the guy sexy several times; saying he wanted to kiss him wasn’t weird.

CG: IF YOU’RE SURE YOU WANT TO KEEP DOING THIS, THEN FINE. OKAY. I THINK I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER TOO. JUST REMEMBER I GAVE YOU AMPLE WARNING OF WHAT THE REAL ME IS LIKE. WHEN I INEVITABLY END UP HURTING YOUR FEELINGS, YOU WILL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF.

TG: score

---

After, unwisely, agreeing to meet Dave at the park again before going to some secret secondary date destination he had in mind, Karkat slipped his phone into his pocket in a daze. He was still reeling. Where had he misjudged this situation? He’d been certain he’d done enough to scare Dave away, and yet, here he was with another date to prepare for. Masochism or brain damage—those were the only options. Considering how much Dave had insisted on Karkat’s attractiveness, he was leaning towards the latter.

Of course, the words alone were only half of the total package. Even Dave would find difficulty deriving whatever enjoyment he got out of Karkat’s insults when they were being delivered at an ear-ringing volume. Karkat heaved a deep sigh. All he had to do was be himself on this date. That had always been enough for every other person he’d dated to leave him. Dave would be no different: he was just dumber, so it was taking him longer to get with the program.

* Thinks I’m “sexy”. Definite brain damage. Probable masochist. Raps have not increased in quality but I’m starting to get used to them.

---

The problem was Dave knew what he liked to do, what he found fun, but he didn’t know Karkat well enough yet to have much of an idea of what Karkat liked to do. Usually, Dave would have just asked, but seeing as Karkat had just been prepared to be dumped, he didn’t think the question would go over well.

When Dave approached the YO this time, Karkat was already sitting on the bench. His head was bowed over his notepad, and he was furiously writing. Although tempted to look over his shoulder and see what he was doing, Dave decided not to. If it turned out to be something deeply personal, he’d feel like a creep.

Whatever it was held Karkat’s full attention. Dave could be very stealthy, but he wasn’t even trying to be quiet as he got closer. Finally, he was standing right beside where Karkat was sitting. Still nothing. Remembering the reaction he’d gotten the other day, he flopped down close to Karkat, making the other man jump. “Hey.”

Karkat brought his notepad up to his chest, hiding it, and glared. Despite his clear irritation and the roominess of the bench, he didn’t move away. “What the fuck, Dave? Are you incapable of conducting yourself like a normal person? Or am I just special?”

Dave grinned. Looked like Karkat had meant what he’d said about acting more like himself. “I don’t know, you are pretty special. Not in the Special Olympics way,” he hastened to add as he realized his compliment might not come across complimentary. “I mean, nothing against them, they’re great,” he continued, now realizing the actual insult he was now offering them and not wanting to be that guy, “but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

A sort of disbelieving half-smile. “Should I stop you now, or let you keep going?”

“Oh, definitely stop me,” Dave said, relieved. He gestured to the notepad Karkat was no longer holding so tightly against himself. “What are you working on?”

“Nothing important,” Karkat said brusquely, shoving the notepad into his bag as though it had personally offended him. “Something for my work.”

It occurred to Dave that he actually had no idea what Karkat did for a living. “What do you do?”

For a moment, Karkat only regarded him with deep suspicion. Then he sighed. “I write for Dubiously Cultured.” Apparently, Dave’s confusion showed on his face, for he elaborated, “It’s basically a gay Cosmo.” Then he frowned. “You know, a magazine with fashion tips? Make-up? Relationship advice?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Dave said quickly. The last thing he wanted was for his eyes to glaze over on his date like they did when Rose started talking about her magazine (whose title he could not recall at this moment if he’d been being held at gunpoint). “Are you writing an article? Laying down the keep your man tips for the masses?”

Even Karkat seemed surprised by the laughter abruptly bursting from him. “Something like that,” he said once he’d recovered. “You work as a DJ at the Glass, right?”

Honestly, Dave was shocked. He’d been sure Karkat had been just tuning him out! Then again, he had remembered he was from Texas, too. Maybe he just always looked bored and pissed off. “Yeah. It’s not super steady, but it pays the bills.” It actually didn’t pay the bills; Rose’s mom (his mom, she was also his mom) sent him money every month to pay for the apartment and various other expenses. However, his sad family history wasn’t exactly third date material. “You ever been?”

Karkat leveled Dave with a skeptical look which seemed to indicate his estimation of Dave’s intelligence had started low and was only getting lower. “Do I look like the kind of person that would get past a bouncer? Are you actually visually impaired, or are you making fun of me?” He shook his head. “I can see myself in the mirror, jackass; I know what I look like. Stop pretending I’m,” he held up his hands to make the finger quotes, ‘hot’.”

“I’m insulted you would think I’d lie about your hotness. You’re a fucking rooftop in the middle of a Texas summer. I should know; I’ve been there.” The metaphor stirred up memories Dave didn’t want to think about, and he wrapped an arm around Karkat’s shoulder. He immediately wished he’d done it sooner. “Anyway, I’ve already told you, you are a snack. You might as well accept it. It’s obvious. Everyone with eyes can see it. Not you, for some reason, but everyone else.”

“That’s just not true, Dave.” Before he could contest this, Karkat continued, “Most blind people still have eyes, idiot, and they can’t see anything, let alone support your dubious assertion that I’m attractive.” The words practically dripped with sarcasm even as he settled into Dave’s half-embrace. “You’re being so fucking insensitive right now.”

“Oh, shit, you’re right.” The part of Dave not worrying about the words flowing out of his mouth registered how nice and warm Karkat felt under his arm and pressed against his side. “Well, if they got to feel you up, they’d agree you were a snack, too. So, checkmate, Karkat. Check fucking mate. You’re just going to have to accept it. Majority vote. You’re a snack.”

Karkat looked up. “If you tell me you want to eat me, I’m leaving now and blocking your chumhandle.” Then his gaze shifted away. “This is nice,” he said, his voice softer than Dave had thought he was capable of. Maybe it was Dave’s burgeoning hearing loss, but he sounded… sad.

While Dave wanted to ask why he sounded so sad, he figured Karkat would tell him if he wanted him to know. After all, they still hadn’t known each other for very long yet. What was needed was a distraction, and Dave had just the thing to cheer both of them up. “If you think this is nice, you should be super excited for our date.”

---

Karkat had been feeling guilty again. It really had been nice, sitting on that bench in front of that giant art installation, to pretend that there was actually some sort of future for them. For him and Dave. Together. So, he’d been feeling guilty—even if he was an idiot who talked too much, Dave wasn’t a bad guy, and he didn’t deserve what Karkat planned on putting him through.

At least, that’s what Karkat had been thinking until they’d arrived at their final destination.

“A karaoke bar?” Karkat felt a scowl furrow his brow, and he turned it onto Dave, who had the audacity to be grinning at him. “It might interest you to know that I can’t fucking sing.”

Dave shrugged. “No one can at these places, Karkat. That’s why it’s fun.” He pushed his glasses down his nose, allowing Karkat the briefest glimpse of his eyes before he pushed them up again. “You’ve had fun before right? Or do we have to go slow and ease you into it, because fun is a hotel pool with a broken heater, and you haven’t raided the mini-bar yet.”

“Of course I know what fun is, you festering anal wart.” He saw himself ranting reflected in the lenses of Dave’s stupid glasses and looked away. “Fun is a walk in the park, or watching a movie, or going on a picnic, or playing a game. Fun is not embarrassing yourself in front of dozens of strangers by subjecting them to what can only laughingly be called your singing voice!” He started at the unexpected hand on his shoulder but made no move to shrug it off.

“Hey,” Dave said quietly, “if you really don’t want to be here, we can do something else. I don’t really know what you like yet outside of chick flicks. And writing for a magazine. And coming up with creative insults for me.” His grip on Karkat’s shoulder tightened slightly. “Help me out here, Karkat; I’m drowning with only seconds left to live. You’re the hot lifeguard, and I’m gonna need your sweet lips on mine fairly soon, or else I’m leaving the beach in a body bag. And no one wants that.”

Karkat turned back to face Dave. There were so many things to unpack in this latest offering of word vomit that he wasn’t even going to make the attempt. “Do you ever actually listen to the things you say?”

“I try not to,” Dave said blithely. “Messes with my flow.” Then the smile faded. “I mean it, though. If you want to go somewhere else, we totally can. I don’t have my heart set on this place; I just thought it’d be fun. Maybe you’d loosen up a little.”

“I am exactly as loose as I want to be,” Karkat sniped back, tacitly admitting that now he was the one saying stupid things. As much as he wanted to make things difficult for Dave for the sake of his article, he really couldn’t deny being touched that Dave was willing to change his plans because Karkat had complained about them.

Besides, while Karkat could be (and often was) loudly unpleasant and vulgar, it wasn’t the kind of thing he could force. He had to feel it. And he wasn’t feeling it. “No, we can stay. Just are there private rooms?”

Dave was frowning, perhaps in displeasure, perhaps in thought. “We can check.”

---

It turned out that there were private rooms, but they were prohibitively expensive. If this had been something Karkat had really wanted to do, Dave would have shelled out the cash, but he’d known he’d made the right call to spend the date elsewhere when he’d given Karkat the verdict and his shoulders had immediately relaxed.

Although Karkat had also protested that he wasn’t much better at bowling than he was at singing, he’d seemed less agitated about the prospect. He’d actually smiled a little when Dave had confided that he, too, wasn’t much of a bowler. Dave also wasn’t much of a drinker, but when Karkat offered to buy him a beer, he’d accepted it.

Dave was currently sipping his apple? flavored ale from the chair in their section of the alley and watching Karkat lob yet another ball down the gutter. This made, what? the tenth in a row? Dave had managed via blind luck to hit a strike with his first shot—a feat he had not been able to repeat—and that had pissed Karkat off like nothing else. Each additional failure to even get his ball any closer to hitting any of the pins only made Karkat’s face redder.

The only question was when he was going to pop.

“FUCK!” Karkat stomped back to the ball return. “FUCK ME, FUCK BOWLING, AND FUCK YOU, DAVE. YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME? NEWSFLASH, FUCK FACE, YOU ARE JUST AS OBJECTIVELY TERRIBLE AT THIS AS I AM—AT LEAST *I* HAVE THE FUCKING DECENCY TO BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF!”

Dave made absolutely no attempt to hold back his laughter.

“Hey, do you mind watching your language?” An older man in the next lane was giving Karkat quite an impressive glare. “There are kids present.”

Karkat’s face went purple.

---

“Well, Karkat,” Dave said as they walked down the street to no stated destination, his tone infuriatingly casual, “I can honestly say I’ve never been kicked out of a bowling alley before. I can scratch that off the old bucket list. It wasn’t on there because I hadn’t thought of it, but now I see I was blind to the possibilities. Thanks for opening my third eye or some shit like that.”

Karkat had let Dave put his stupid arm around his shoulders about a block back, and he hated the fact it felt so comforting. Bad enough he’d made an ass out of himself over nothing in public (again!), but it hadn’t even worked. He’d wanted to piss Dave off by showcasing his abhorrent personality, and he’d failed miserably. It wasn’t even his fault he’d failed either. For some inscrutible fucking reason, the idiot found temper tantrums hilarious to watch rather than embarrassing to be associated with. “Fuck you, Dave,” he said quietly, his energy quite spent.

Dave chuckled. Case in fucking point. “Aw come on, don’t be like that. It’s not like we’re banned from the place.” He paused. “I’m probably not going to get you to go there again anyway, am I?”

“I am never stepping foot back into that establishment, no.”

“Are you still pissed at me for that strike?” Dave’s voice sounded disbelieving. Maybe a little hurt. “I told you, man, it was a fluke. I wasn’t trying to hustle you. If I’d wanted to hustle you, there’d be money involved. That’s how that shit works. It’s like the definition of a hustle.”

Karkat sighed. “No, I’m not mad about that.” He hadn’t really been that mad about it in the bowling alley either. He’d just been frustrated. Loudly. Which was how he usually expressed his frustration. In the moment, it made him feel better… afterwards, he just felt tired. “I’m just really fucking embarrassed, okay? I know embarrassment is probably a foreign concept for you, but—”

Then he was being hugged. He tensed for a moment, then relaxed into it. He knew he shouldn’t be accepting Dave’s comfort, that this was only going to make things harder in the long run, but he couldn’t help himself. He really was such a selfish asshole. His head fell naturally against Dave’s shoulder, and he felt a distressingly familiar ache in his eyes. “Why are you hugging me?”

A soft guff of laughter blew past his ear. “Dude, you looked like you needed a hug. I’m not a hug expert or anything, but sometimes you look at a guy and think, that guy, he needs a hug.” The arms around him held him just a little tighter. “I hope you leave me a good review on yelp.”

Karkat choked on his unexpected laughter. “Dave. You are so fucking ridiculous.” As much as a part of him wanted to remain in his arms, he knew if he stayed any longer, he really would start crying. “Let go of me, asshole.”

Dave did so with only a moment’s hesitation. He put his hands on his hips. “So, what do you think?”

“About what?” Karkat successfully resisted the urge to wipe his eyes. With any luck, Dave wouldn’t notice how tear bright they probably were. Why was he getting so emotional anyway? None of this would matter soon enough.

“My review,” Dave said as though Karkat should have any idea what he was talking about. “Five out of five stars, right? Don’t crash my yelp score, dude—I have a reputation to maintain as hug master supreme; it’s all I have.”

And Karkat was laughing again. It really felt good.

---

* Gives nice hugs. Doesn’t respect personal space. Karaoke bar? Shitty bowler. Why isn’t this working?

---

{{ The third step is the ego. For Dr. Freud (famous psychology hack), the ego was a moderator. For our purposes, we return to the original Latin: I. Make it all about you and your comfort. If you have had enough of your short-term partner’s incessant prattle, say so. When you want to scream, do it at the top of your lungs. Use whatever language feels best to you at all times regardless of the situation. Make your short-term partner embarrassed to be associated with you. If you can get you and your short-term partner kicked out of an establishment due to your behavior, so much the better. However, if you find that such antics only serve to amuse your short-term partner, cease them immediately. The point of this exercise is to humiliate your short-term partner, not further endear you to them. Also, in the event that you are more embarrassed by your conduct than your short-term partner is, under no circumstances allow them to comfort you. It will only distract you from your objective. }}

[ofindcmitability]

the umbrella academy au ( landon )

              + @frcmashes @geminislegacy @chosenlonely @enflamedxtouch 

       on the 12th hour of the first day of october 1989, 43 women around the world gave birth. this was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began.

         will always thought of himself a proper freak. actually to be more proper, a second-generation freak. his father being the first and one of those children born on that date.

         funny thing about jack. he started up the evil league of villains. not their actual name, no, but might as well been. there was klaus mikaelson, kai parker, katherine pierce, (so many freakin k’s) and of course, malivore. all of them provoked some kind of terror, they were all mass murderers and all that. but malivore was by far the most mysterious, no one even knew his true name. funny enough, they all had kids too. sort of, at least. there was klaus mikaelson’s daughter, ironically named HOPE. kai had his two nieces, twins ran in his mother’s family and he and his sister jo had melted in childbirth. legit, MELTED. while she had an affinity for ice, her twins were somehow born with her brother’s flames. they melted her. katherine pierce had a daughter named nadia but will had only met her a handful of times, she was a bit older then the rest of them, and onto much different things then listening to her mother (her mother, will would note, who looked younger then her). then there was landon kirby. the newest edition to their supervillain parent club.

          hope knew him a bit, she told him as much. said landon could be TRUSTED. the thing was though, will struggled with the whole trust thing. he trusted the twins and hope with his life, and with the plan to FLEE. a plan they had been building towards since 3 years ago when they realized they couldn’t escape their parents otherwise. if landon allowed it to slip that they’d been planning a runaway there would be hell to pay. hell for will, that is.

          klaus mikaelson had a kill count larger then some towns populations, but he would never allow harm to come towards his daughter. kai would come after the twins with an axe if the mood striked, but that was because he was a psychopath, it was without actual malicious. then there was jack, who had malicious in every mood he made. they didn’t know though, not the extent of it. will couldn’t allow them to know, to try and help. he couldn’t let them risk themselves for him. he’d rather run away and never turn back.

          what he didn’t need though was some loser ruining this plan.

          “he needs us!” hope insisted to him, and well fuck him when hope mikaelson set her mind to something how was he supposed to say FUCK NO and expect not to be punched for such efforts?

           “i don’t even know the kid, and you don’t know either.” will pointed out (and he was fairly sure this was the third time they had this discussion). “how could we trust him? he’s an unknown entity.”

           “to start with on the many reasons you need to hear me out, he’s not a kid. he’s my age.” a single year older, woopty doo (though, somehow, hope having that extra year and experience made her their impromptu leader, among other reasons.) “he’s been through hell and i... i actually knew him a long time ago.” he’s been through hell and she didn’t rescue him. those were the words will read in what she spoke. hope mikaelson and her damn hero complex. “we could trust him, he could-”

             “okay.” there was no getting in her way, will could see it. it was a uphill battle and he would LOOSE.

             plus there was something nice about seeing that satisfied smile upon the shorter girl’s face.

               “so you must be will then?” ugh, he hated socializing. though will reminded himself, he’d be practically living with landon if all went according to plan. better start getting used to him.

                “yeah, thats me.” he nodded, and then landon offered his hand was that something people did? ( yeah, he didn’t have much experience with people beyond the trio of girls and super villains. )

               “you’re supposed to shake it.” landon prompted, though he seemed almost unsure of saying so himself. will stared for a moment, hesitant. then, he reached, and he gave it a light shake.

               landon chuckled. it was a bit awkward, yes, but it was... wasn’t horrible.

                then, he heard lizzie saltzman let out a proper GROAN. “why does your hair have to look so much like a sponge?” she asked of landon, only for hope to slip a hand into hers and instantly the girl soothed. she was nervous, will could tell. he knew lizzie saltzman well. she’d been his first and only crush, his first kiss. and maybe there would have been something if she wasn’t so horribly in love with hope mikaelson. hope mikaelson who returned her affections and became an absolute mess when lizzie turned on the charm.

               they were cute, and will was happy for the girls. though he and josie did sometimes make barfing sounds when they were being lovey dovey to the GUG degree.

              lizzie would flip them off.

              fuck, will didn’t know what he’d do without them. he didn’t know who he’d be with only jack’s influence, without the girl’s he called his family. and now there was someone else part of that family, someone else to protect. and protect them, he would.

              “so tomorrow they’ll be leaving to rob a bank.” hope began. “i overheard my dad talking about it. that is when we move.” they had to be gone when it happened, whether it was love or possessiveness, the kids were all too aware their parents wouldn’t be happy with them leaving.

            when hope said the words ROB A BANK. it didn’t mean an actual robbery, but rather an outing. their parents were hush hush on the horrible deeds they commited, so lizzie in her greatness decided ‘yeah, they’re probably robbing banks. ski masks and everything.’

             so yeah, robbing banks.

              “so, i uh, i know i’m the new guy,” a groan from lizzie, a chuckle from hope and an eye roll from will himself.

              “we really are prepared for this,” josie piqued in. “and if you don’t think you could handle this and need to stay behind that’s fine but--”

               “wait wait,” landon interrupted, a chake of his head. “not what i was getting at, i was moreso gonna say we should ya know... prepare.” prepare, and it was said in such a way that landon had been through this before. huh. “maybe we could make back backs and hide them? hope filled me in, that we have money-- but money won’t last forever and we should prepare. food, blankets, lighters, everything that we might need and could carry with us. i mean... we will be on the streets, roughing it. and it’s better then being here, but still. we need to be prepared for it.”

               “oh my god, you were a trashcan baby.” classic lizzie saltzman, truly. still she was probably right. landon spoke like he had all too much experience in the narrative of it.

                “guess you didn’t tell him everything,” will had figured hope would fill him on it.

               hope gave a shrug. “i was meaning to, it just didn’t happen yet.”

               “okay, so what am i missing?” landon asked, bewildered.

                once more, josie spoke up. “her name is penelope. she’s second-generation just like us... and she’s going to bring us to our dad.”

                 alaric saltzman, their savior. a man who wanted to be in his daughter’s lives til their uncle stole them away on a whim. according to josie, he contacted the twins three months ago. that was when the plan fell into play. alaric had resources, and since his daughters were two fo them, he did all the research he could. apparently he was in touch with something called THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY, and they would protect them. all of them. they just needed to get the destination pick up point first.

                  so it went remarkably well. they did actually pack, because the journey to the umbrella academy would be a few days and they were on foot. he knew the girls well but landon... landon was a constant surprise. it was weird, having pleasant surprises by someone. landon was all sorts of weird but... will found himself enjoying it.

                  it was their third night, and tomorrow they would arrive. at least, according to josie’s calculations. for the past two nights they had managed to boy two motel rooms, and yes he kept sharing with landon. landon who snuck, of all things, candy into his bag. who kept asking will if he wanted any. and will, who always said, sure.

                then josie checked how much they have left and apparently it worried her. she wanted to be safer, spend less. thus, one room this time. the three girls squeezed into one bed together (poor josie, will thought, or maybe poor lizzie and hope. unable to get it on with josie right there). but it left he and landon to share a bed. funny thing was though, will hadn’t shared a bed with someone ever before. and when a tired landon rolled onto him he hadn’t had the foggiest what to do. so, he fell asleep, and hoped that upon waking up the situation would resolve itself.

               it did not.

              they were snuggling. and it was... nice. actually. really nice. huh.

             “disgusting.” that was a voice whispered in his ear, one that sounded remarkably like jack. except it wasn't in his head, oh no- a knee was his chest, forcing him down--- making him stay. then jack was reaching over and no no no--

              the thing was, about jack. he was remarkable in many ways. knew ways to kill so many people, knew how to use so many weapons, but when it came to it his power was basically his favorite thing.

               death touch.

               his hand clasped landon’s throat, and landon’s eyes flew open. and will--- he’d known landon less than a week. it was stupid, they were barely even friends. yet, as the life drained from his eyes, will felt like the world was ending. no more stupid jokes, no more awkward pauses or candy. no more offered candy. no more landon.

              will SHRIEKED.

             he heard the sound of the sound of one of the girls falling off the bed, and then jack was jumping back because there was FIRE and will--- fuck, was he sobbing? he’d never done that before. not even on jack’s worst days. he’d never shaken like this before, unable to stop, unable to breathe---

              “will.” hope said, taking his arm and pulling--- but no, he couldn’t leave landon’s body-- no-- “will!” hope said again. his eyes connected with hers and the sight of her felt so damn blurry. the world was fucking spinning. “give him a moment.”

             a moment? a moment? for--- a large GASP, came from the boy before him. landon sucked in air as if he hadn’t breathed before, well, this WAS his first breath after dying.

            “oh my god.” landon’s blue eyes connected to his, and despite the fire, despite the death, despite it all, he smiled.

            “hey.”

            “hi.”

            epilogue i’m too lazy to write: wll uses his own killer touch to knock jack out, (hope fought him for a bit btw, she has preflex). they make it to alaric and the umbrella academy. it’s not happily ever after, but it is better then it was before. and will has landon now. he’s happy.

[minaminokyoko]

The Incredibles II (A Spoilertastic Review)

Oh, there’s just something special about the feeling you get when you wait an extremely long time for something and it’s completely worth it. It’s rare, especially in films. Most of the time an ultra-late sequel is a cheap cash-in that gets rid of all the original movie’s charming aspects and just regurgitates nostalgia all over your face in the hopes that you’ll mistake it for quality. However, one thing I appreciate about Disney/Pixar’s collaborative films is that for the most part, they give a damn. They don’t always (*side eyes the Cars franchise*) but when they give a damn, they give a good goddamn.

I’m in the camp with many people who would argue The Incredibles is Disney/Pixar’s best film. Granted, I also waffle back and forth between Incredibles and Toy Story 3, but I’d be happy to say either film wins the title as their Best in Show. Thus, the bar is set extremely high for the sequel, and I can see why D/P would be hesitant to follow up what is not only their best film, but a film so well written and executed that it stands toe to toe with some of the best superhero stories period, like Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Avengers, or The Dark Knight. 14 years is a long damn time (almost reaching the infamous Syndrome line of “15 years too late”) but I can happily say they weren’t just sitting on their hands. They actually knocked it out of the park and made a worthy sequel, leaving the ending open enough for a third film if they so desire to go after it.

Overall Grade: A-

Pros:

-Well, any of you who know me know what’s got to go here first: Helen fucking Parr. She was already a bomb ass bitch in the first movie when she infiltrated the facility to rescue Bob, and then throughout the rest of the movie busting heads protecting her family. They take Helen Parr’s general badassery from a 10 and crank it up to 10,000. Helen is ridiculously talented, sharp, acrobatic, intelligent, and amazingly adaptable. It was an absolute joy to watch her on missions. She wowed me over and over again with how she handled the emergencies that came about because of the Screenslaver. Helen is a force to be reckoned with. I love her genuine enthusiasm and confidence. I love that she knew something felt off about the missions even though she was just a little too trusting to stop our villain before she got to her. I’m really excited to know that little girls are going to grow up with this three dimensional badass mom out there breaking glass ceilings and subverting expectations. Helen Parr is the best of the best and no one can touch her. That’s the biggest takeaway I had for this movie. I appreciate her in a whole new way after seeing what she’s capable of just on her own.

-Married to Helen’s badassery is the action sequences. Wow, wow, wow. From Jack-Jack fighting a freaking raccoon in a death battle to the final Avengers-style climax, Incredibles II rocks it with some truly inspired fight scenes and chase scenes. I loved it. I wish I wasn’t broke right now so I could go right back in and see it again. It’s some fantastic action from start to finish, and each piece is well thought out and well staged. It’s never too close and it doesn’t cut away. You’re in the front seat for all of it and it’s incredibly engrossing, to use an inevitable pun.

-The return of Edna Mode. I was worried that since she was somewhat of an Ensemble Darkhorse in the first movie that they wouldn’t be able to make her as funny and charming as her first appearance, but I fell right back in love with Edna in this film. She’s just fantastic. I was in tears when Bob came back for Jack-Jack and the baby was actually mirroring Edna, and Edna loved him so much that she gave the baby clearance to her design lab. It was just the cherry on top of an already wonderful sundae. God bless Edna and Jack-Jack’s interactions. It was just too funny.

-Bob learning to be a stay-at-home dad, while cliché, was amusing and ultimately (mostly) heartwarming. The exhaustion was just so realistic and I know there were some hearty guffaws from the parents in the audience of my theater last night seeing his antics with the kids. I really did feel for him when he collapsed on the couch next to Violet and admitted he just wanted to be a good dad. It hit me right in the heartstrings, as I’ve spent many a late night on the couch with my exhausted father in the past. Bob also got a bit of development in terms of setting an example for the kids and not letting his impulsive nature get the best of him, i.e. with the car.

-The heroes that were gathered together for the climax. I really enjoyed seeing their different powers. None of them were anything I’d never seen before, but I just appreciate how each of them were used and presented a damn credible threat. I also like the smaller touches of their designs, like how I’m pretty sure the little belcher guy was an homage to Ernest Borgnine (who sadly passed away in 2012) and the crusher guy I think was an homage to Mike Tyson (but don’t quote me on that, he looked like him to me). I loved Void and I have a prediction from my time on Tumblr that she’ll be the new fan favorite aside from the villain Evelyn. They were colorful and competent and interesting, and I’d love to see them in the next movie if there is one.

-Violet was both more and less annoying here than in her first appearance. I don’t know if I can put it into words, but I’ll try. In the first movie, she was weak and whiny, and while she ended up becoming competent, I was still sort of just irritated by her. She’s still whiny here, but at least she’s not weak. She had a reason to be upset and it’s good that she stepped up to the plate when it was time to go to work. My suggestion is that they go ahead and do a time skip if they choose to make a third movie so she can outgrow her irritating preteen qualities and be a full blown early adult to resolve those lingering things about her that annoy me. Just let her grow up already and I think she’ll be a fine character on her own.

-Jack-Jack in general was handled brilliantly. I didn’t get tired of the slapstick. He was genuinely surprising the entire time and it almost makes me wonder how they’re going to proceed with him in the future because once he grows up, he might be the most powerful Super we’ve ever seen at all. I mean, someone’s going to do a count of how many abilities he has, but seriously, it would be good fuel for a sequel for Jack-Jack to get older and people want to take advantage of all the things he can do. Though if I were writing it, I’d write that he can only do these amazing things one at a time only for a limited amount of time a-piece, so like he can do them for less than 60 seconds. That would at least help resolve the overpowered problem he could create. But I digress.

-Is it weird that I just really think the Screenslaver is like the most clever villain name and schtick ever?

-I liked the monologue that the Screenslaver gave while Helen was tracking him. It did bring up an excellent point about consumerism and hero worship. I for one know I’m guilty of the latter to a ridiculous extent, but I also have some pretty deep emotional and psychological problems that cause me to fixate on fictional heroes so it’s probably why Screenslaver’s rant hooked me. It’s intentionally ironic and brilliant commentary from the writers.

-I loved the small touch of including Helen, Bob, and Lucius’ theme songs at the end credits. So cute.

-The short film before the movie was also very creative. (Though another reason I think humanity is destined to die out by self-destruction is the whole audience laughing when the mother ate the dumpling baby. I sat there stunned thinking, “What the actual fuck, guys. I don’t think that’s the emotion that they were going for. I think it was supposed to be upsetting, not funny.” It was awkward as hell and I think humanity is doomed even more than I usually do.)

Cons:

-Bob Parr’s aborted character arc. This wasn’t a fully aborted arc, but it was definitely a partially aborted arc. I think that the biggest criticism anyone could throw at this movie is Hero Decay for Bob Parr. He’s broken down pretty badly and he only gets to do hero work twice in a two hour film. The rest of the time he spends as the comedic Butt Monkey stay-at-home dad, and while that’s fine, it rubs me the wrong way that the film sort of picks up a big central issue with him and then drops it entirely. First, I was irked at Bob’s implications when the Deavors wanted Helen. She gives him a dirty look, but I don’t like that the film doesn’t have Helen confront Bob about almost insulting her in front of their potential employers and implying that she’s not as good as he is or not as right as he is for the job, and I further don’t like it that he’s so selfish and egocentric when she does a great job that he doesn’t really congratulate her and actually mean it. Helen pretty much did the impossible. When the movie shows us what she’s able to stop, there’s no way in hell Bob could have done what she did. Yeah, strength is great, but it’s not everything. That’s what the first movie showed us, that Bob has great uses, but he needs to be complemented by other heroes to be effective. Helen is fully capable on her own and doesn’t need help. So it irks me that Bob’s so dismissive of what she’s able to accomplish. Second, it felt a lot like Bob just assumed he’d temporarily be doing the stay-at-home dad thing until Helen opens the gateway for him to do what he really wants to be doing. It didn’t feel like he was ready to make the sacrifice for hero work to raise his kids. It didn’t feel right to me. I thought the film would offer a choice where Winston said he could join her in hero work and Bob says no, he’d rather take care of the kids and let her do her thing because she’s great. I think that was the biggest missed opportunity in the film. I don’t feel as if Bob learned anything. He cares about the kids and Helen, but it still felt like he just wanted self-gratification in the end. He wants to be a hero because it’s all he knows how to be, and the conflict just sort of vanishes once the third act kicks in. I’ll see if anyone else notices this or if it’s just me, but I found myself disappointed in him this time around.

-Evelyn was way, way too obvious as the villain. Granted, it’s not like the first Incredibles was subtle. We were thrown right in with Syndrome and he was a Card Carrying Villain with zero regrets. I just didn’t think it would be so obvious that it was her, but nope, it was her. As soon as Winston told us the backstory, it was like there was a huge blinking sign over her head that it was going to be her. There was an off chance it was Winston, but after a certain point I figured he really was just a big excitable kid who wanted heroes legal again, so by default it was Evelyn. It was too transparent, so the whole movie I was just checking my watch for her to turn evil, and she finally did. There was no attempt to make her seem like she wanted anything other than to see the heroes fail based on that rotten attitude of hers, so maybe it was just a rare spot of laziness from the writers not to hide her very clear intentions.

-Frozone felt a bit underused. Once he put Helen and Bob in contact with the Deavors, I thought maybe we’d see more of him, but he just disappears until the third act. Odd. Not a dealbreaker, just odd.

-I actually though the bodycam thing would be used in a different way than to eventually tip Helen off that something was wrong. I thought that Evelyn was going to manipulate the footage to make it seem like Helen attacked the ambassador and went rogue so she’d be hunted down or something. It just ended up falling short of my expectations, I suppose.

-Although it’s accurate to our actual society, the cops yelling at Bob and Helen for not catching the Underminer really ticked me off. Are you telling me there were zero casualties when he blew the bank through the ground? I find that hard to believe. And it also sounded like they were just mad they didn’t catch him, not that they were mad about them violating the law. Look, fuck off. Cops can’t even handle simple burglaries sometimes, and you want to give these heroes lip about trying to stop someone who drove a drill the size of a building up through the ground and then blasted a whole-ass bank? Whatever. Y’all sippin’ the same Kool-Aid as the people who came up with the Accords in Captain America: Civil War. Your argument is dumb. Go sit down somewhere.  

Honestly, I’m really looking forward to seeing this film again and to finding out if they intend to follow through with a third film to make it a trilogy. After all, if anyone can make three phenomenal movies instead of two good ones and a dud of a third like the status quo, it’s Disney/Pixar. I suggest you run right out to see Incredibles II, because it was well worth the wait.

[quirklessbunny]

Timer

An easter bunny basket gift for @onewithturtles

<3

Spamano

    Antonio smiles as he walks into the coffee shop, prepared to meet the date he arranged the night before. It was through some app his brother had recommended to him, and they seemed pretty nice. He sends the message that he arrived, then orders a milkshake for himself and sits down. About a half an hour passes before he thinks something might be going on. He texts them again to see if they’re coming, concerned that he might be stood up.

    Antonio sighs when he once more doesn’t get a response, but convinces himself that the traffic is probably bad, and orders another milkshake while he waits. He smiles brightly at the cute person behind the counter. “Thanks… Lovino? What an interesting name. Don’t think I’ve ever heard that one before.”

    The barista looks up at him in surprise, then rolls his eyes. “That’s because it’s not a fucking name. My parents picked it because they were drunk on wine when they conceived me. It’s stupid.” He frowns slightly and looks at Antonio. “Why do you care anyways? Are you bored or something?”

    “Oh, uh, my date just hasn’t arrived yet. I just thought your name was interesting,” Antonio responds, then takes his second milkshake before going and sitting down. He rests his head on his hand and stares out the window, waiting for anything to happen. Another hour passes, and Antonio seems to deflate by then. His cheerful smile has fallen, and he just looks into the melted milkshake, then stands up to leave.

    Lovino is on his way out of the door when he notices Antonio looks pretty sad. He sighs and walks over to him. “Look, your date is a dick. They shouldn’t have ditched you. Why don’t we go somewhere to make up for it? If you want to,” Lovino offers, staring at him. Antonio freezes, then smiles slightly.

    “Sure. You don’t have anywhere to be? I’ll buy you lunch somewhere. My name is Antonio,” he says, holding his hand out to shake Lovino’s. “It’s nice to meet you. This is really kind of you.”

    “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Lovino shakes Antonio’s hand and has to hide the growing smile. “It just looks dumb when you don’t smile.” Lovino pulls his hand away and walks outside, letting Antonio follow him. He goes down the street to a nice little restaurant and sits down, opening the menu right away. Antonio sits across from him and raises an eyebrow.

    “You’re a weird guy, Lovino,” he says with a soft chuckle. “But that wasn’t the first time someone has stood me up. It happens a lot actually.” He shrugs. “No big deal, I’ll find the right one eventually.”

    “Yeah...I guess that’s a good way to look at it,” Lovino responds, snorting a small laugh. “It’s not like you’re destined for anyone, right?” He tilts his head, eyebrows knit together. What world does this guy think he lives in? Now it’s Antonio’s turn to snort quietly.

    “You mean that dumb timer thing everyone is doing? No, I haven’t got one.” Antonio shows Lovino his wrist. “The website I use is called Timerless. It’s for people who don’t have timers and aren’t interested in getting one. Well, not necessarily not interested, but just don’t have one yet,” he explains. Lovino looks down at his blank timer and huffs.

    “It’s people like you that leave people like me without any hope of a soulmate,” Lovino snaps. He knows he shouldn’t be angry about it, it’s an optional part of their lives, but he hates that he got one and now he doesn’t have a time on his. He takes a deep breath and sighs softly. “Sorry. That was out of line.”

    “No I understand,” Antonio responds, looking down. “I was looking at getting one, because I would prefer to know that someone will be out there for me. I guess I’m just scared to have a blank timer. And I’m scared that it’s gonna hurt to get it.” Antonio admits, then looks down.

    Lovino sighs and nods. “I’ll hold your hand if want to get one.” Lovino feels stupid for offering, but watching Antonio droop like that just makes his own heart sink. He knows, from looking at Antonio, that a frown should never be on his face. Antonio looks up at him in confusion, then nods slowly.

    “Sure. I might just go get one after our lovely lunch, then.” Antonio smiles happily, then looks up when the waiter finally comes over to them. He orders what he wants, then looks expectantly at Lovino, who then orders as well.

    “Alright then, I’ll have it right out,” the waiter says, smiling as he takes the menus and walks away. Lovino looks down then back at Antonio.

    “Why do you smile so much? Is life really that good to you?”

    Antonio shakes his head with a smile. “No, but I see no reason not to smile through it. Even if life sucks, smiling can help you bring up your spirits. Fake it til you make it, Lovi!” he explains, a bright smile taking over his face. “It works, you know. You just have to let it.” Antonio leans back in his seat and looks out the window. It feels nice to have company, he decides, even if it wasn’t the company he was expecting to have.

    The conversation is casual following the timer talk. Antonio gets excited when their food is brought over, and eats it quickly, not really caring what Lovino thinks about that, though he’s gathering from the looks that he should probably slow down at the very least. He laughs self consciously, and looks down at the food. “Sorry. I got hungry while we waited.” He slows down a little bit, but is still eating pretty quickly.

    Lovino rolls his eyes, but eats slowly. In the back of his mind, he hopes that Antonio is his soulmate. The man is annoyingly cute, and the longer he stares at Antonio, the more things he notices about him. He has a few freckles on his face, and his eyes are a shade of green he’s never seen before, but have gold flecks in them. His smile seems to light up his entire face, and his hair is a right mess. Lovino drags his eyes away from the curls to look down at his food. The faster he eats, the faster Antonio will get his damn timer, and this little fantasy can disappear.

Antonio pays the bill when they both finish and stands up. “I have a car. Let’s drive down to the little timer place,” Antonio says, heading towards the door. He’s not afraid to get a timer, as he’s sure it’ll be blank, and then he can just use a different dating site. There’s just too many people on earth, and he doesn’t care enough of about this dumb system, but he knows that people with blank timers are more likely to get dates than people without them at all.

So he’s going to play into the government’s greedy hands, but it will make his new friend happy, and perhaps even get him a date with the attractive young man. Antonio looks over at Lovino as they walk to his car and blushes slightly. Lovino seems to have a permanent pout on his face, but it’s adorable.

Antonio opens the door for him and smiles. “So if I get this timer, and nothing shows up on it, what are you gonna say?” he asks, looking into the car at him. Lovino looks up at him and frowns, then pushes him out so he can close the door. Lovino is a little stiff, since Antonio is still a stranger after all, and he knows from all those crime shows that the worst criminals are the ones who seem cute and sweet so they lure people in.

Lovino’s thoughts are broken by Antonio telling him to put on a seat belt. “You okay? You look freaked out.” Antonio turns on his signal and pulls away from the curb, driving the short distance to the little shop.

Lovino shakes his head and huffs, blushing. “Nothing. Just realized you could be a serial killer or something. You certainly look like a psychopath when you smile like that,” he responds, rubbing an arm. He blushes harder when Antonio laughs softly at that, and shakes his head.

“Aw, Lovinito. So suspicious. Don’t worry, if I was a serial killer, we wouldn’t be stopping to get a timer injected into my wrist,” he says as he parks. “You’re silly though, I like you. We have to stay friends, at least, after this.”

Lovino snorts. “At least? If we don’t match up, then we’re not gonna be more than friends, you dork.” Antonio pouts slightly at that, but heads inside anyways. He starts to tremble slightly when they step inside. He’s heard that getting these things hurts like a bitch. Lovino grabs onto his hand gently, and gives him a small smile, hoping it comes off as comforting.

Antonio fills out the paperwork that comes before they implant a timer, then sits down in the chair, eyes squeezed shut. He listens to the warnings, then nods. “Just do it before I change my mind,” he responds, then clenches his teeth. It hurts badly, but he manages it without yanking his arm away. Antonio looks blearily down at his new timer and sees only a few seconds on it, then looks up at Lovino in surprise.

Their arms both ring a quiet jingle as their eyes meet, and Antonio smiles goofily. “So we do get to be more than friends!”

Lovino huffs and smiles softly, nodding. “I suppose so, asshole. Sorry you had to waste $80 to get one, when it went off right away.”

“Don’t worry about it. Was lunch our first date, or should I take you out again tonight?”

“Hm… I think I’m gonna have to say we need to go somewhere else tonight.”

“Sounds good to me, Lovi. Pick you up at seven?”

[hairyharryhair]

Spider Woman Part 4

Word Count: 2240

Part 3

Masterlist

“YN/! This way!”

“To your left!”

“Y/Nl!”

“Yes!”

“Perfect!”

I smiled as I walked down the carpet, the heels I was wearing making my walk a little difficult.

I was downed in a black, tight mermaid style dress by Dolce and Gabbana. The dress was form fitting till my knees where about three inches of fabric spread out loosely. The whole dress being covered in floral black lace. My shoes, which were ridiculously expensive were by Giuseppe Zanotti Sophie. I held my Jimmy Choo clutch close seeing as it not only held my phone but my tampons, which I unfortunately needed on this night. Luckily I was wearing black.

A warm hand pressed to back and I looked to my side to see Harry staring at the void of lights flashing at us, his face emotionless. He was dressed in this probably expensive navy blue Gucci suit that had golden tigers on it. His Gucci loafers looking incredibly comfortable in comparison to my heels at the moment.

“How do you get used to it?” I asked as I blinked a little bit harder to try to get rid of the sudden burning in my eyes.

“You don’t.” He said and as he looked to me.

“Awesome.” I spat sarcastically, looking over at him to see the first showing of a smile on his face after hearing my response.

We slowly walked over to where Tom and Robert were standing so the four of us could have our picture taken together.

“Overwhelmed?” Robert asked me and I smiled.

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” I laughed and he smiled his hand settling on my back just above Harry’s. Harry was to my left, Robert to my right and Tom next to him.

“Just remember to breath, for some reason it seems to be the one thing we all forget.” Robert said, making me quickly realize that I hadn’t done just that since I stepped onto the carpet.

“Thanks, needed that.” I said and he nodded.

“Also drinking, drinking helps.” To. said and I let out a loud laugh, almost doubling over. The crowd of paps watching all bursting into laughter with me.

“Fuck.” I said and Harry smiled.

“Someone watch her.” Harry joked and I pushed his shoulder playfully.

“Please if anyone needs a babysitter it’s Tom, we should all be lucky he didn’t accidentally leak the whole movie script.” I joked and he turned to me with his mouth dropped.

“Once, one time I accidently posted a snap of you and Harry shooting your kissing scene to my story and I’m never left alone.” Tom defended and I smiled.

“Yeah except that wasn’t the only time, it was the fourth.” I said and he rolled his eyes, scoffing playfully.

“The fans are calling it Tom Fucking Up: The Saga.” Harry chimed in from beside me.

“Are they really?” Tom asked and we laughed, Robert clapping his hand on his shoulder before the three of us walked off to our individual interviews, leaving Tom gasping at us.

“Hi Y/N, my name is Claudia Hammervile with Red Carpet Daily and we would like to start off by asking you what this movie is going to bring that will change the marvel universe seeing as every movie always plays an impact?” The women asked then thrusting her phone into my face. It wasn’t aggressive or anything just very quick, I wasn’t expecting her to jump into this so fast.

“Well, I think the Avengers themselves are going to be slightly frustrated as they are now working with a hero who doesn’t want to be a hero. Not to mention the return of HYDRA, which they had previously thought to have been extinct after Captain America; The Winter Soldier. This movie introduces two new villians, one which may have a devastating effect on the world as they know it.” I answered and she nodded.

“What was the biggest challenge with taking on this role?” She asked and I nodded.

“Umm, well the workout regime wasn’t fun. Being in spandex just outlines every little nook and cranny of your body and I’ll tell you I actually slept in the gym once. Like I went, worked out practically the whole day and then took a nap in the locker room. It was honestly sad.” I said and she laughed and let out a little “Oh no!” as a joke.

I continued, “I also had some difficulty getting into my character. Jessica and I aren’t very alike in the fact that she’s very cold, and calculated. Nothing she does is without cause. She doesn’t go for a walk in the park just because it’s a nice day like I would but if she was to walk in the park it would be for some unknown reason. It’s just difficult to not smile. Every time Tony Stark would make a joke I would crack up and then realize, wait Jessica never laughs.” I said and she smiled. “But once I tapped into my inner Jessica that I think everyone has it was a piece of cake.” I said and she nodded.

“What can people expect when it comes to Jessica’s relationship with John, the trailer didn’t touch too much on that?” She asked and I smiled.

“Well that’s because it’s supposed to be a surprise.” I said and she laughed.

“Ohhh come on! Give us something!” She begged and I laughed.

“Ok ok!” I joked. “All I can say is that Jessica and John's relationship is as cute as a button.” I said, clearly referencing Harry’s old music video character Marcel.

“How long did it take you to think of that one?” Harry asked quickly as he walked by. I laughed and loudly yelled to him “The whole ride here!”

“I love the relationship you two have? Can we expect sparks to fly from the screen to real life?” She asked and I smiled.

“No, Harry’s too much of a dork for me.” I said before our time was cut short and it was time for me to go into the theatre.

Once I walked inside I was lead to my seat. The theater was large, with two sections, the floor section for the cast, crew, family and friends, and the mezzanine section for the lucky members of the public who got seats and for critics. The floor section was spit in half with a hall in the middle. I was sat on the floor, the right half of the theater, four seats into the row. To my left was my mom, next her my younger sister and my dad next to her. My dad stood up and hugged me was I walked over. He was wearing a boring black suit which he clearly rented as I know he doesn't own a suit.

“This is amazing Rachel, I’m so proud of you.” He said as he squeezed me in his arms.

“Thanks Dad. Also let me guess, you rented that tux two days ago?” I joked and he smiled.

“Three but nice try.” He said and I smiled.

“You do realize I signed a three movie contract right? And that doesn’t count the Avengers movies and the other individual ones I’ll be in right? You should probably just buy a suit.” He said and he smiled.

“Yeah I probably should.” He said as my sister stuck her head around to see me.

“This kind of rocks. I saw just saw Iron Man walk by, Iron Man Rachel.” She said and I laughed. She was wearing a electric blue dress that came to about mid thigh, the straps crossed across her chest from her waist and had a triangle cut out on her upper stomach. She wore white heels that had one white ‘x’ going across her toes and another white ‘x’ across her ankles made with the straps from the heels. Her bag was a large, white backpack style bag that probably held her camera and phone.

“Yeah, he’s in the movie.” I said sarcastically and she rolled her eyes. “Yeah but I didn’t think I would see him.” She said and I shook my head as I moved passed her and over my mom to get to my seat.

Once I sat down my mom took my hand in hers. She was wearing a knee length form fitting black dress. The dress came up to her neck and was sleeveless. The fabric was a sheer black lace that had horizontal zig-zag designs going across it down till the knees where it flared out slightly like my dress. She was wearing black heels that had one black strap across the toe and one around her ankle. Unlike me and my sister she didn’t have a bag, she must have put all her things in with my sisters.

“I can’t tell you how proud I am of you, you were so hard on yourself when you were growing up. I know that I probably didn’t make that any easier as I was always on your case about losing weight but I always believed you were destined for big things. And here we are, I was right!” She joked and I laughed. “Call it moms intuition.” She said and I smiled, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

“Love you mom, thanks for always being there for me.” I said and she smiled, squeezing my hand in recognition.

I felt a tap on my shoulder from my right and I looked over to see Harry and his mom and sister sitting down beside me.

“You think we have to say anything? I’ve only ever done this once before but I got out of it because it was only Chris and Finn that had to talk. But like now it’s Patty and you and possibly me. Also I didn’t prepare anything. Did you?” Harry rushed as he sat down. I looked over at his mom and she was rolling her eyes at her son's antics.

“No one told me I would have to say anything. So I’m assuming I’m not. Don’t worry though, if they ask us to speak you do the same as always. Thank your family, you literally wouldn’t be where you are without them, thank the cast and crew for the helpful tips and for making the film the best it could possibly be, thank the director for being the creative mastermind behind everything and knowing exactly how to make everything perfect, and last thank the fans for doing what they would do, they’re the best fans in the world and without them constantly asking questions and asking for more we wouldn’t be able to answer them in the best way we know possible, through the films we make. See, easy.” I said and he nodded. It was the normal thank you speech. What everyone says when they get up in front of the crowd. Not that it all wasn’t true. The cast is amazing, always there to help me when I was confused about literally anything. And crew did an amazing job on the movie. Literally without them we wouldn’t be sitting in this theater. Family is always on the list to thank, they either motivated you by pushing you and helping you become the best you could be or they motivated you by not believing in you. Either way you always thank the family. And you can never forget the fans. Seeing as they are not only the ones who help us get a paycheck but without them constantly wanting more we wouldn’t be able to do what we love.

Before the movie started Patty, our director, got up and gave a speech thanking everyone for coming out. She said how happy she was to work on another superhero movie even though her last movie was for D.C.’s Wonder Woman. She thanked the crew, giving little shout out’s where it was needed. She thanked Tom Holland for being the set prankster, always managing to put a smile on everyone's faces. She thanked Robert Downey Jr. for being our marvel veteran. She thanked Harry for somehow always managing to fall in every scene we shot. And then she thanked me, acknowledging that everyone thought it was a bad idea to cast someone so new to industry in such a big film but ultimately thinking it was the best decision she could have made, and also thanking me for all the creative thought I provided during the filming.

It was my idea to make Jessica Drew bisexual, and to not bi-erase her. When Harry’s character is first seen it because he is woken up from Jessica drunkenly stumbling through the hall of their apartment building with her female one night stand.

After she sat down, the lights dimmed and the movie started. Of course it took an extra few minutes to get my mom and sister to stop drooling over not only Harry but also Tom who was sitting in front of us. Both of them were eating up the attention like stuffed animals. Of course both knew they were off limits. My mom is an angel and my sister is in college and way too young to be with either of them. Also I don’t approve of that so no.

Half way through the movie Harry leaned over and whispered in my ear.

“By the way, I found the perfect person to set you up with.”

[btsiguess]

This Is Just To Say (m) - 1

Summary: To say it’s unusual to have a soulmate is an understatement, and most people desperately wish to have an elegant name scrawled upon their wrist. In reality though, you’d have to say it causes much more issues than it solves.

Pairing: Yoongi/Reader (slight Namjoon/Reader; Jungkook/Reader)

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: T.S. Eliot bashing, if that matters to you. Vague philosophy references that don’t matter?? Too many cute boys to handle?! Honestly, too many italics but I’ll fight you over it?

A/N: Here have a garbage soulmate/college au that no one asked for. 

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

“How can you even say that?” Namjoon asked you through a mouthful of food, pulling your attention away from your reading… again, “T.S. Eliot is fantastic? He’s one of the greatest Modernist writers of all time!”

“Joonie, are we seriously still fighting about this? It’s been hours, when are you gonna let it go?”

“Maybe I’ll never let it go?” He deadpans, “I just can’t believe you call yourself a literature major and you hate T.S. Eliot.”

You sigh for what feels like the thousandth time today, and despite himself Namjoon smiles at you as you gaze around the dining hall. This was how things always were with the two of you, bickering mindlessly over something pointless, but you really wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Joonie,” you say again, “T.S. Eliot was just so pretentious, Modernism in general was so pretentious. Think about it: in order to have been able to understand Eliot’s writings when he was actually writing you would have had to have been highly educated. The man doesn’t write for the masses. He writes for different versions of himself! Other awkward smart boys who think they’re too good for the people around them. T.S. Eliot takes poetry out of the hands of the generally uneducated masses for no good reason other than he wants to look smarter than them!”

“How can you say that, it’s like you’ve never even read hi-”

“Namjoon, I swear to god. Have you read ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock?’ Off the top of my head I know it mentions at least three other works that only the educated could get their hands on, let alone understand. You have to through and through understand the economy at the time of his writing, the socio political tensions, the popular literature, the culture! Otherwise his references go right over your head. And everyone eats his damn ass because they think he’s eloquent and cool, when really he was just an edgelord all the time. Like damn, eat a peach if you want to pal. Who’s gonna stop you? I’m not saying he’s utterly terrible, because he isn’t. I’m just saying that there are so many other poets we could be focusing on!”

You look back down at your book, unsure whether you want Namjoon to provoke you more or not. It’s true that your favorite thing to do is argue but it’s just been a really long day.

Namjoon smiles at you for a moment, and you know he’s admiring your passion. At the end of the day that’s really what kept you two so close. Intelligence is nothing without passion.

“Fine,” he said finally, surprising you since he never usually relented so easily, “but you have to admit you’re a little bit of a hypocrite since don’t you love Wallace Stevens or… whatever his name is? The plum guy”

“It’s William Carlos Williams you ass,” you scoff at his mistake, “he wasn’t even a modernist anyway.”

A slight cough coming from the end of your booth makes you both look up into the smiling face of Taehyung, his eyes bright and his dining hall tray piled high with food.

“Are you losers still arguing over T.S. Eliot?” He asks, smirking as he sits down beside you. “I seriously thought that our professor was going to throw you both out of class for that heated debate, and normally she loves when you two fight!”

“Well I guess we’ll stop fighting when Joonie admits he’s wrong.” you coo back, stealing a fry off his plate, laughing at his feigned horrified expression.

“And where do you fall, Tae?” Namjoon asks, ignoring you, “Are you an Eliot fan or do you think he’s too pretentious?”

“Mmm. I think he’s pretentious, but that’s why I like him?”

Both you and Namjoon groan, neither of you pleased that a definitive winner hadn’t been decided by Tae’s choice.

“Don’t sound so put out, you two honestly. It’s just literature.” Tae added, cheekily. You closed your eyes and prayed to whatever deity was out there for a better group of friends. Ones who wouldn’t try to rile you up at every twist and turn. When you opened them again though, it was still Tae and Joon sitting around you, both smiling like the slippery bitches they were. Instead of engaging though, you opted for a subject change.

“Tae, my sweet boy, what are you doing tonight?”

“Why? Are you asking me out?”

“No, actually, I’d rather die. Just wanted to know if you wanted to bum around in the library with me later. I’d like to start the essay we were assign--”

“Oh, you mean the one that we were assigned today? The one that’s due in three weeks? That essay? Yeah no. I’m not starting that. Anyway, there’s a baseball game tonight.”

“Ah, okay. Don’t be an ass either. You know I wouldn’t start it normally, but I had a good idea.”

“I’m not doing anything later,” Namjoon interjected, “thanks for asking though.”

“Joonie, don’t you have philosophy club tonight?” you questioned, arching your brow. There was always philosophy club on Thursday’s, and Namjoon never missed it.

“Oh shit, yeah, I do actually. You should come with me! They like when you go!”

“Joonie, they definitely don’t like when I go. They try to rip me apart. And, ugh, there’s always that one guy. What’s his name? Mike? Matt? Mark?”

“Zach.” Joonie laughed.

“Yeah! That’s his name! Oh my god, what a douche bag! Do you know what he said to me last time I went? He said--”

“What would you know, you’re only an English major.” The two boys in front of you chorused back in unison, leaving you to huff indignantly.

“I like when you go though,” Joon said, and the soft look in his eyes already had your resolve melting away, “it’s always more interesting with you there.”

The worst part was Namjoon totally knew he had you. You could never say no to him. Ever.

“Fine.” you mumble, trying to sound annoyed, but really it was difficult when you saw the dimples appear on Namjoon’s cheeks. Those damn dimples.

“What time does philosophy club end?” Tae questioned, “If you can both make it, you should come watch the baseball game with me. I love supporting Jungkook and everything, but baseball is really boring when you have to watch it by yourself.”

“It ends around eight or so.” Joonie responded, “I’m down to swing by after, if it’s still going. I’ll drag Y/N along too, don’t worry.”

You open your mouth to protest but honestly the look on Taehyung’s face makes you drop your complaint. Honestly, what is happening to me? You think. These boys are making me soft.

“Ah good! The game starts at 7:30, so, you won't have missed much by the time you get there.”

The boys continue to chat as you return your attention back to your book, periodically stealing food off of Tae’s tray. If Tae minded, he didn’t show it. Then again, he never did, and you could’ve sworn that after he realized your tendency to pick at his plate he began to grab more food. You’d known him for the better part of the year, Joonie too. You had all met in your Writing About Literature class, and hit it off, deciding to take another class together the following semester. You were happy you had found friends so quickly after starting university, since walking around all alone could only sustain a person for so long. And even though everything about your friends sucked, you still loved them.

Eventually Namjoon bopped you on the head to get your attention and drag you to philosophy club. Tae wished you a brief ‘good luck’ as you exited the dining hall, and as you approached the campus center, where club events were held, you couldn’t help but think you might need it.

As expected, there were only around ten or twelve other kids sitting in the room when you and Joonie got there. So probably every philosophy major on campus, you thought. A few of them gave you snide glances as you took your seats and you felt your blood begin to boil. Philosophy club was less about genuine philosophy, and more about debate. The club members all liked to discuss contemporary moral problems until they were blue in the face, but whenever you piped up to add something everyone but Joonie tried to shut you down.

It made you work harder to prove them wrong, and boy did they hate that.

You let out a sigh of relief when you saw that Zach wasn’t there. But before you could truly revel in this little win, he walked through the door.

“Sorry I’m late everybody,” He began and his nasally voice grated on the inside of your ears, briefly making you wonder if a sound could actually make your brain bleed, “I got caught up in something. But I knew I couldn’t miss this meeting since I got to pick the topic for today.”

Fantastic.

“So the topic I’ve chosen to discuss is whether or not we think that those with soulmates should be allowed to sleep with people outside of their destined match.”

You froze briefly. Of fucking course this would be the topic. And after such a long day too.

“I assume,” Zach continued, “that no one in this room has a soulmate, since it's basically a one in a million occurrence, so unless I’m wrong, we can talk about them unhindered.”

You glanced around the room curiously to see if anyone spoke up to claim a soulmate, but unsurprisingly no one did.

As discreetly as you could you brushed your fingertips over the watch that hid the name of your soulmate, making sure that the elegant script was still hidden beneath the leather strap.

“Does anyone have any opening remarks?” Zach asked, and as someone piped up to the left of you, you couldn’t help but slink down in your chair.

“I think it’s sort of slutty,” the nameless girl said, “I mean, if you have a soulmate you already know you’re leading someone on if you sleep with them?”

You attempted to stare nonchalantly down at your nails. Trying to look and act normal, but for the life of you you couldn’t remember what normal even was in this moment. To fight back probably, but you just couldn’t find it in you. If you disagreed with them, they’d surely know that you have a soulmate. Right?

Joonie scoffed loudly beside you and you turned to face him, along with the rest of the people in the room.

“That’s so ridiculous,” he said, and for just a moment your heart fluttered in your chest, “hook-up culture is like, not even a contested thing anymore, how is someone with a soulmate sleeping around different than getting drunk at a party and hooking up with someone?”

“I’m just saying,” the girl shot back, “why would you want to if you knew? People with soulmates are already so lucky, they shouldn’t disrespect what they have like that!”

“Sex is natural!” Namjoon retorted, “And fun, you’re basically slut shaming!”

“Hey now!” someone else said, and quickly the room turned into utter cacophony. People trying to have their opinions heard over other voices until really, it didn’t matter what anyone was saying at all. Namjoon, for his part, was just as invested in the argument as everyone else. Fighting just as vehemently, never wavering in his stance. It wasn’t often you got a chance to look at him in a debate with other people, but when you did, your chest always filled with pride. He was so intelligent, so good hearted, and -- at least when it came to morality -- you were almost always on the same side of the dividing lines.

It was no different tonight, you definitely agreed with Namjoon on this topic. And the people you had slept with in the past could attest to that. Still though, an odd guilt washed over you whenever you were forced to look the matter in the face. To be fair, you had lost your virginity before the name even appeared on your wrist, to some ass hole who you thought you loved. You regretted it now, but sex was just sex, so you tried to shrug it off.

“It’s a blessing!” you heard a voice cry, “A blessing to be given a soulmate.”

God. All your life you’ve been hearing that from people. No one knew about your soulmate of course, but still, whenever the topic was brought up that word was always incorporated somehow.

You felt more cursed by it than anything, if you were being honest. ‘How can love be love if you don’t get the choice?’ your father used to say, and you agreed with him.

Your father had a soulmate too. A soulmate who was not his wife, not your mother. And somehow he had never been unfaithful. He had been with your mother since high school, and when some other woman’s name appeared on his wrist at 17, your mother had been devastated. It didn’t matter though, because your father stayed. Steadfast and loyal until the name on his wrist started to fade away. While it was still there now, it was bitterly faint -- a stark contrast to the dark black lettering on your skin. He kept the name covered, always. And though both of your parents supported you irrevocably in your right to choose whether to seek out the person on your wrist, it had never been a question for you.

You remember when you told them about your choice, to keep your soulmate a secret, to live your life as your father had lived his. Your parents had nodded, smiling, and your father had come home the next night with a watch for you to wear, just like him. The memory had you smiling despite your current situation and you reached down again to gently rub the watch that graced your wrist even now three years later. The strap was your favorite color and around the face of the watch were little vibrant jewels. You were sure they were real, no expense had been spared for this watch.

It’s symbolism wasn’t lost on you either. You knew your parents were overjoyed at the prospect of you forging your own path, just as your father had done.

“Sometimes,” your father had once told you in private, “sometimes you wonder about them.” And without asking you knew what he meant.

“You wonder whether they are happy or sad or safe. But really. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life it’s that love isn’t something that just falls into your lap. It’s a series of choices. You have to decide to put up with someone else’s bullshit. That’s all love is. And anyone who says otherwise is fooling themselves. Don’t make love bigger than it needs to be, or you may find yourself disappointed. If you let it be simple, you will find happiness. Y/N, remember this: an unconditional love only means you are in love with the idea of loving something.”

His words had struck a chord with you. You knew that he was right. And while you often did wonder about your soulmate, you never regretted your decision.

A soft tap on your cheek pulled you out of your reverie and made you glance over into the puzzled face of Namjoon. A raucous was still going on in the room around you, but Namjoon’s eyes were focussed only on you.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, “You’re not helping me at all here!” His smile told you that he was kidding though, and the genuine concern in his eyes left you reeling.

“Ah, I’m sorry Joonie. It’s just been a long ass day. I don’t think I could argue with them tonight.”

Namjoon nodded quietly, and stood up suddenly.

The room went quiet and Namjoon just shrugged as he grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the room. For a bit you walked along the hallway in silence, a mixture of relief and guilt spinning in your stomach.

“Joonie, you didn’t have to do that.”

He stopped momentarily to look at you. “I did. You weren’t acting like yourself in there, I didn’t like it.”

“Oh.” you replied weakly.

“What’s really wrong? I’ve seen you tired, you still always have enough fight in you to tell Zach to shove it up his ass. You’ve got me worried.”

“It’s really nothing, Namjoon, please--”

“Don’t say it’s nothing, we both know that’s bullshit. C’mon, it’s just me.”

You looked up into his eyes, full of warmth and worry. Big mistake, you thought. And for the first time ever you wondered if it would be so bad to let someone else know about your soulmate.

Namjoon took your hands in his, in a slightly uncharacteristic display of affection between you two.

“Please.” he said simply, and for the second time today you felt your resolve crumbling.

“It was just… the topic that they were arguing about I guess?”

“Soulmates?”

“Yeah.”

“Why would that upset you? The slut shaming was pretty severe, but I’ve watched you take people down for that before with absolutely no qualms at all and oh my god you have a soulmate.”

“Yeah.”

“You? Y/N you have a soulmate?” Namjoon rakes his fingers through his hair and glances down at your watch covered wrist.

“Yeah. I guess.”

“You guess? Y/N, this is amazing, isn’t it? Who is it? Have you already--”

“Joonie, do you think we can go somewhere else to talk about this? Please.”

For a moment, Namjoon stays silent, taking in your uncomfortable frame, before grabbing your hand and pulling you along behind him. No words are exchanged as you walk the campus to Namjoon’s dorm, which you find empty, for better or for worse. He sits you on his bed and begins to pace in front of you.

“You really have a soulmate?” He asks quietly.

“Yeah.”

“That’s incredible, I honestly never thought I’d meet someone who had one.”

“Most people don’t.” You shrug.

Namjoon sits down on the bed next to you.

“Have you met them yet?” He asks and you shake your head. He lets out a small breath before nodding to himself.

“Can I see it?”

“Joonie. I know that it’s a really big deal for you but I just… for me it’s not like that at all. I wish I didn’t have it. I’m not… I’m not looking for them. I don’t want them.”

Namjoon cocks his head to the side a bit, looking puzzled.

“What do you mean?” He says.

You move yourself backwards on his bed, your back hitting the wall before you respond.

“It just doesn’t make any sense to me, Joonie,” you tell him, “soulmates can’t just happen, they’re made.”

“I don’t follow…”

“My mom and dad have been together since high school you know. Nearly thirty years now, I’d say.”

“That’s impressive but I don’t see how--”

“My dad, Joonie. He’s got a soulmate too. But it isn’t my mom. Does that make my parents love a lie? Does it make it less valid?”

Namjoon doesn’t answer right away, and you can almost see the gears turning in his head.

“No.” he says finally.

“They found each other. They fell in love. And they grew together, Joonie. That’s what I want. I want to fall in love with someone, in the normal way. I want to worry over whether it’ll work out, I want to struggle and fight to keep them because that’s what they deserve. That’s what love is. It’s being certain of something in spite of uncertainty. It's working until you’re certain. It’s silly and irrational. It isn’t something you can just sit back and count on. Because then it wouldn’t mean anything. How can love be love if you don't get a choice? My soulmate? That’s not real love. Love happens over time… this name? It’s a joke.”

Again Namjoon is quiet, and when you finally get up the guts to look at him there’s something in his eyes you haven’t seen before. You can’t quite place the emotion, but it isn’t negative.

“You’re incredible.” He says simply, and your heart skips in your chest.

Namjoon tilts his head towards the ceiling and his dimples show as he smiles.

“Here I’ve been all my life,” he says, looking pointedly at you once more, “thinking that I would do just about anything to have a soulmate, a real soulmate. And in less than ten minutes you swoop in and convinced me that I’m better off. That my love is more real than… than a soulmates! Jesus Christ, You are just something…” He laughs, and the sound makes you smile.

Of course Joonie would take it well. It’s Joonie after all.

“Namjoon,” you say, drawing his attention to you once more, “please don’t tell anyone. Besides my parents, nobody knows.”

Namjoon looks shocked at your admission but nods quickly enough.

“So basically, what you’re trying to say,” He responds, “is that I’m your best friend? Boy, Tae is gonna be so pissed.”

You laugh and hit his arm playfully, “Tae has that baseball player anyway. Of course you’re my best friend, but don't brag. It's unbecoming.”

“Ah yeah, Jungkook.” Joonie says, and you briefly glance at your watch. It was nearly 8, you’d have to start heading over to the field soon.

“Wait,” Namjoon says when you mention the time and start pulling him up to leave, “I have one question.”

“Yeah? Shoot?”

“You said your father has a soulmate too? What are the fucking odds that two people in your family would have them?”

“We honestly don’t know how it happened either. My mom has this crazy idea that the Gods were unsatisfied with his decision to ignore his soulmate, so they gave me one too. To try and get everything all right in the universe or whatever.” You laugh.

Namjoon laughs too, “Well then the Gods are gonna really flip their shit when they learn you are being so difficult about it too.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way really.”

“Mmm.” he agrees, “Neither would I.”

“Joonie, we really have to go now, Tae’s all by himself!”

“You’re right. But you should go to the bathroom first, you always hate using public restrooms, and your bladder is the size of a raisin.”

“What the fuck does that even mean, Namjoon?” You hiss, but you know he’s right, and so you make your way to his bathroom despite your protests.

You hear him make a noncommittal noise in response as you close the door, and for what feels like the thousandth time tonight your fingers go to slightly twist the strap of your watch.

You’d been fidgeting with it more than usual and it was starting to irritate your skin just a bit. Quickly you undo the watch and place it on the counter, making an effort not to look at the black name on your skin.

It’s as you’re washing your hands though that your eyes finally lock with the name that’s been plaguing the back of your mind for years. You sigh loudly as you attach your watch to your wrist, effectively trapping away the name, as you attempt to do the same with your thoughts. Somehow though, you can’t seem to shake the way the lines curve across your wrist, and for the rest of the evening you’re haunted by the name that lies just out of sight.

The name Min Yoongi.

A/N: Yikes, there you go. Thank you for reading, if you got all the way down here. Also major shoutout to the actual love of my life @gimmesumsuga, for being my Beta and also? Inspiring me to write in the first place? I love her so much I’m sobbing, okay I’m going bye.

[artificialqueens]

Sk8er Girl CH4 (Trixya)- Squeaky Pink

Trixya!HS AU. Trixie is a nerdy, girly girl with bows and frills. Katya is a skater chick with scuffed knees and a flazeda attitude. When they’re assigned as lab partners, can they discover chemistry together?

(AN: LAST chapter! We did the angst, hurt, comfort, and fluff. Now - smut! Hope y’all enjoyed the ride)

ROMEO AND JULIET

“I’m getting back my test back in Chem today,” Katya whispers in the back of English class. Sharon raises a brow as she puts her black leather boots up on the desk.  

“Oh, you go from wanting to drop out of school to giving a shit about your classes. This is quite the transformation. In my experience, there’s only two things that can motivate someone to step up their pussy game- love or drugs. So tell me…which one’s Barbie offering you?”

“W-we’re just friends,” Katya stammers.

“Buuuulll shit. You’ve been missing out on practices to ‘study.’ Mh hmmm. I’m guessing that your interest in chemistry is a little more…biological.”

Katya rolls her eyes and tosses her book at Sharon’s head.

Max suddenly turns around to face them-

“What were you doing with Trixie this weekend?”

A couple of eavesdropping kids ‘oooohhh’ at that. Katya narrows her eyes at them and crosses her arms.

“Studying?! Jesus, why does nobody believe we were actually looking at our notes and not at each other’s tits? Has Hollywood really over sexualized studying?”

Katya feels like she’s being ganged up on from all sides now. If only she really were hooking up with Trixie, this interrogation would be justified; every time she tried to make a move though, Trixie had gotten so flustered. It’d be cute if it wasn’t so frustrating.

Max’s lips are tight: “I don’t really know anything about you, Katya. Just trying to look out for my friend.”

“Oh, ‘cause Katya’s the big bad wolf?” Sharon jumps in to defend her. “I don’t know shit about Prissy Pink Princess either, so don’t come up in here and judge my friend.”

Their argument is interrupted by Ms. Thor, who tells them to close their books for a pop quiz.

Question 1: Why are Romeo and Juliet star-crossed lovers?

Cause their family and friends are dicks closed-minded. All they understand is themselves. For example, Mercutio, Romeo’s friend, and that other Capulet are fighting it out on the streets. Literally killing each other. Why can’t they just chill and let Romeo and Juliet be happy?

Katya bull shits her way through the next five questions, but she keeps coming back to the first. She doesn’t understand a word of Shakespearean English, but she understands what it means to love someone when everyone around you doesn’t approve.

When they go out for a smoke break, Sharon does a dramatic rendition of Max. Alaska and Willam laugh, but Katya crosses her arms. This is why she’s never formally introduced them to Trixie.

“Hey, is Barbie that important to you?” Willam asks as she slings a hand over her shoulder.

Katya nods as she takes a drag of her cigarette.

“Then it’s time that the gangs merged. What do ya think?”

She remembers Max’s tight lips and judgmental eyes and how close Sharon was from snapping. Fuck, no.

“I think that’s an awful idea destined to end in stabbing.”

“So…this Friday?”

Katya crushes her cigarette under her heel and sighs. If she wants to go any further with Trixie, she has to formally introduce her to the crew. It’s part of girl code: don’t date someone unless they’ve met your friends.

“I’ll ask Trixie. But her friends don’t smoke or drink…what would we even do if we all chilled out?”

“Orgy?” Alaska suggests, and Sharon shrieks with laughter and buries her face in her girlfriend’s neck. Oh god, she can picture Max’s nose wrinkling up at all this ‘vulgarity.’ Maybe she and Trixie are destined to just be too star crossed lovers…not that they’re even lovers.

———–

CHEM CLASS

“Most of you failed. This was a HARD test. I didn’t want to go easy on you because it’ll be harder in college. If you didn’t do as well as you’d like, remember that I will drop the lowest grade this semester.”

Katya stares up at Ms. Del Rio, trying to read her for any clues of her grade, but she’s got the perfect poker face. The blank back of the test mocks Katya. Fuck, this is why caring about school sucks.

Trixie reaches under the lab desk to squeeze Katya’s hand.

“No matter what, Kat; you did your best.”

“Yeah,” Katya sighs. “That’s the worst part. If I don’t do well, it’ll prove that I’m just too stupid-”

Trixie cuts her off by bumping her leg.

“I’ll have none of this belittling talk before you’ve even seen it. Let’s not grade ourselves before we’ve seen the grade.”

“After then?”

“Just look-”

“I can’t, Trixie!”

She can’t concentrate if it’s bad, which it probably will be. Not that she’s paying much attention now. One, Trixie’s soft hand is in her’s. Two, there’s a big skating competition this weekend, and she’s practicing the moves in her heads.

Katya lets go of Trixie’s warm hand to hide her flushed in her hands. Her leg nervously jiggles. She needs to pee. At least Sir Anxiety never gives up on her. What a gentleman.

“Keep it together, baby,” Trixie reassures her. “Whatever letter it is, we’re going to get ice cream anyway. Maybe I’ll let you lick it from my…belly button.”

Katya smiles into her hands even as her stomach twists. She knows in her heart that it doesn’t matter. The world isn’t going to explode whether or not she flips over the test. Still, Trixie has spent so many nights curled up in her basement, tirelessly teaching her…she just wants to make her proud. No, Katya wants to do this for herself, to prove that she can do it.

The bell rings, and Katya’s paper is still firmly turned over.

“Oh god, Katya, please just look. The anticipation is killing me, and I can’t die before lunch ‘cause Kim Chi’s bringing in cupcakes to celebrate her birthday,” Trixie begs as she packs up her bag. Katya hugs the paper to her chest and bites her lip.

“Save me one for my funeral.”

She slumps into the hallway and only sighs as Trixie wraps her arms around her. Katya’s hands are shaking, but it’s not from cigarette withdrawal. Come on, please be a C. Please be at least a C-.

“Quick. Like a band aid,” Trixie whispers. Katya shivers as Trixie’s glossy lips accidentally brush against her ear. Oh.

“Fuck this test. It’s going to be my bitch, and I’m going to turn her over and look straight at…”

Katya stares, struck speechless.

“It’s…” Trixie gasps. “A B+”

A hot flush creeps up her cheeks as she stares at the red letters and smiley face. Katya doesn’t even realize that she’s crying until she presses Trixie against the locker and buries her wet cheeks into her shoulder. They’re in the middle of the hallway, in front of everybody, and Katya’s sobbing. Trixie rubs her back. Kids veer around them, and, distantly, Katya hears Laganja’s ‘okur!’

“I- I did it,” Katya hiccups.

“Shhh, I knew that you could. You’re more capable and wonderful than you realize.”

Trixie’s eyes meet hers, and it’s not the time or the place. Face flushed, Katya hesitates and then leans in to press a lingering, thank you kiss to Trixie’s cheek. Oh, every single cell in her body is fired up. Trixie’s hand is resting lightly against her back, and it wouldn’t be much further to lean in and kiss her-

RIIIIING.

Cock blocked by the bell.

“Wait, Trixie,” Katya, still flushed, grabs her wrist. “Do you want to hang out this Friday? I mean not just me and you. With the whole crew. Everyone. Bowling or something?”

“Yeah, sure, why not? Sounds fun,” Trixie says and smiles like it’s all no big deal. Meanwhile, Katya’s moved from one thing to worry about to another. Maybe it’s something about how narrow these high school hallways are. It’s so hard to breathe with them constricting around her.

“Cool, I’ll text you the details.”  

Feeling light headed, Katya clutches the test to her chest and watches as Trixie’s pink bow disappears into the crowd. If only she could grab her one last time and just say what she’s been thinking these last couple week. She swallows. If only.  

————

FRIDAY NIGHT

Katya snaps Trixie and Willam a picture of her outfit. She hooks her finger in the belt buckle of the white washed skinny jeans as she takes the picture. Katya curses, deletes the snap, and poses again.

Cute <3 It looks a little tight… but if that’s what you were going for -T

Where ya dick gonna go? -W

She laughs. There are really two types of friends in this world. She’s spent about an hour picking out her outfit like they’re going out to a club and not bowling alley. Katya checks her lipstick to make sure that none has smudged on her teeth.

“Mom,” she calls as she climbs the basement stairs.

Silence.

“We have to go in ten! Mom, please,” Katya calls. She looks at the fridge where her ‘B+’ has been put up with rainbow magnets. The sight makes her smile.

“I’m coming, sweetie! Just excited to meet all your friends, so I thought I’d dress up a little,” her mother sweeps down the stairs in a brown floor-length skirt that’s in such poor taste that she must have stolen it from Katya’s closet. Oh, god, this almost makes me wish I’d asked Dad to drive me. Almost.

“Mom, please change.”

“Oh, come on, sweetie. I thought I’d look my best. I don’t get to wear much besides scrubs at the hospital-”

“Please,” she groans but then stops when her mom shoots her The Look.

“Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova. Do I give you grief about the clothes you wear? You won’t be giving me any future grandchildren in those tight pants, but I’m not telling you to go change. Now, let’s go,” she says and jingles her keys. “I gotta go meet this darling Trixie who keeps sneaking into my house and turning my daughter’s grades from frowny faces to smileys.”

“But you’ve met Trixie, Ma. She lives next door.”

“Yeah, I waved at her in passing, but I haven’t really met her. Now, get your booty into that car and not another word about my fashion taste.”

Katya bites her lip. She bounces from one foot to the other, and her hands are starting to shake. But she doesn’t dare pull out her cig pack from her bra in front of her mom. She doesn’t want to die. Not yet.

She squirms in the shotgun of her mother’s Lexus as they pull out of the driveway and head to the bowling alley. They could have carpooled, but Trixie wanted to get there earlier to get “everything set up.” Katya wonders if that’s code for “pep talk Max to act nice.” Maybe she should have done that with her crew, too.

Sharon and Alaska are out front doing tricks in the parking lot. The fact that they’re not inside with the other girls worries her. Anything at this point would have worried Katya though. She’s running on worry fumes.

Her mom parks and tries to link their arms as they walk to the front. Nope. She can’t lose all her street cred in one day. Instead, she races forward to confront the blonde couple.

“Hey, why aren’t we inside?”

“Max is the worst,” Sharon grumbles. “It’s not my fault she’s never watched anything rated R. She’s like the Disney version of me.”

Alaska shrugs like and I’m here to keep my baby company. They’re low key couple goals in their matching leather jackets, but also Katya needs them inside pronto.

“How about y’all come inside, and I buy you ices? They have a concession stand in the back,” her mother offers. Sharon fucking Needles can’t say no to free food, so she slings her skateboard over her shoulder and heads in.

Mother- 1. Sharon- 0.

As her mother goes to get them drinks, Katya trades her Converse for bowling shoes. Willam’s grinning and saying something that makes Max, Trixie, and Kim Chi all go red. Oh, Jesus, Katya bites her lip. She and her anxious bladder aren’t going to make it through this shit storm.

“Take good care of my daughter, huh?” Her mother says as she comes back with the drinks. She looks at Trixie when she says it and dramatically winks. ‘Please go’ Katya mouths. She loves her mom, but she’s kind of cringe.

“Of course,” Trixie replies like the good girl she is. “I’ll keep her out of trouble, Ms. Zamo.”

They start bowling as her mom waves them goodbye and everything seems to be going fine. Crisis averted. Willam tones it down, and Katya lets go of her breath. Okay, maybe I can do this.

“So, you two fucked yet?” Sharon Needles asks and Katya chokes on her drink.

“Needles, I know that you were raised in a barn by Gothic Vampires-”

“Or my trailer trash parents-”

“But can you please not…” Katya trails off and wildly gesticulates at everything and nothing. God, she glances over at Max’s unimpressed face, this isn’t going well. Trixie’s friends all probably think hers are hooligans, which to be fair they are but…

She excuses herself to go pee for the third time, but it’s the first time she’s needed to go all night. Honestly, she just wants to hide in this bathroom stall the whole night. Hide from the world and her anxiety. Katya buries her face in her hands. What’s with her and having mental breakdowns in the bathroom stall?

She struggles to get out of her tight, tight pants and sighs in relief as she goes. What if she just stays here for the rest of the night? Or for the rest of her life?

“Katya? Is everything okay?”

“Y-yeah, one sec.”

She squeezes back into her pants, flushing at Trixie’s presence, and unlocks the stall door. The concern in Trixie’s eyes is so sweet, and it makes her heart tighten. God, she doesn’t deserve that kindness. All she and her friends have done is make it weird.

“I’m sorry, Trixie,” Katya says as she goes to wash her hands. Tears are forming in her eyes without her permission. “Sorry that this is such a mess.”

“What? It’s going great. What are you talking about, Kat?”

She tries to blink the tears away as she shakes her head: “Sorry that I’m a mess then. I’m trying to prove to you that we can all be friends but right now it just feels…oh god, we’re like those dumb-ass Romeo and Juliet.”

“Katya, no one’s stabbing or poisoning themselves. And our respective ‘houses,’ both alike in dignity, will have to learn to get along,” Trixie reassures her and pulls her into a hug. Katya sighs and buries her wet cheeks into Trixie’s warm shoulders. She holds her for a long time, stroking her back, and when Katya looks up, Trixie’s looking at her.

“What?” She asks, cheeks flushed. “Is there something on my face? Besides my face? Oh god, stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” Trixie teases as she gently rubs her thumb against Katya’s face, brushing away a tear. How far they’ve come since that day in the park. Katya knows it’s silly to trust someone after barely knowing them for a month, but Katya can feel herself falling for this pink princess.

“Like you want to…” Katya’s eyes flicker down to Trixie’s lips.

Willam bursts into the bathroom: “Hey, losers! Done fingering each other yet?”

Katya and Trixie jump apart, flushed at being caught, and they awkwardly nod.

The rest of the night continues much the same. Katya realizes that she sabotaged herself with the whole breakdown, but she keeps returning to that moment, wondering if Trixie wanted to kiss her too? There’s obviously something there between them. She comes up behind Trixie, who’s struggling to get a strike, and wraps her arms around to help.

“Bet you’re going to be doing a lot of chemistry homework tonight,” Sharon Needles winks but then goes to high five Max, who’s surprisingly smiling along to the implied vulgarity. Maybe there’s hope for all of them.

——–

PRIVATE AFTER PARTY

They’re curled up on the couch in Katya’s basement, and Katya is regretting these tight pants more than ever.

The soft curve of Trixie’s body is pressed up into her, and Katya squirms against the cushions. Thank you merciful lesbian gods that there’s a blanket to hide her erection. Trixie shifts against her, large breasts pressing closer to Katya’s own chest, and Katya bites her lip.

“It was a good afternoon,” Trixie says as she lowers the volume of the movie they’re watching. Correction: the movie Trixie is watching and Katya is blankly staring at. She nods and hopes Trixie doesn’t notice how flushed she is. Because she was this turned on, Katya didn’t dare to get up and, uh, take care of herself in the bathroom.

“I think Sharon and Max might actually become good friends,” Katya laughs.

“Yin and yang, huh?” Trixie whispers, and her breathy voice brushing against Katya’s ear makes her shiver. The ghost of a touch makes her cock twitch against the prison that is her denim jeans.

“Listen, about in the bathroom…”

“Oh, yeah I wanted to apologize for barging in when you were peeing for like the third time, but I really didn’t think you looked alright and-”

“No, at the end I…and when I got that B+ I wanted…”

Trixie moves a breath closer, eyes soft. Katya rubs the hand that’s around Trixie’s shoulders as she works up her courage. It’s hard to do this in her state of heightened arousal, but, fuck, it’s now or never, huh?

“I wanted to kiss you.”

“Guess what, skater girl?” Trixie leans in so it’s like she’s speaking right against Katya’s lips. “I did too.”

Katya is the one who finally leans in and takes it. She whimpers at the softness of Trixie’s lips against her, and she curls her hand through Trixie’s hair. Because she was already aroused before, the sudden smack of Trixie’s lips against her own makes her stomach clench.

“Katya,” Trixie pulls back, and it’s obvious she’s felt the hardness.

“S-sorry I just was excited and didn’t want to, uh, so I could-” she starts to get up, but Trixie grabs her wrist.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Trixie mumbles as she pulls her back down, so they’re pressed chest to chest. Oh god, this has just gone from zero to a hundred real quick. Katya’s heart is pounding as her smaller breasts are pressed up tight to Trixie’s larger pair. The squish of their chests together and the hand guiding her face down makes Katya whimper as she straddles Trixie’s waist.

The hard outline of her cock is pressed to Trixie’s stomach, and Katya squirms in her jeans: “Is this really okay? I know you’ve never been with… someone like me.”

“I was nervous before, but I think I’m ready now, Katya. If you are?”

“But are you sure?”

Trixie shuts her up with a kiss. Now, they’re making out for fucking real; kissing Trixie is nothing like kissing a boy. No, Trixie is all soft sighs and steady pants. Katya moans into her lips as she ruts against the soft curve of Trixie’s stomach. She couldn’t help it even if she tried, so she just gives into the passion. She can’t stand the erotic sight and she’s afraid her mom might walk down the basement stairs, so Katya pulls the blanket over them.

Trixie’s moving up into Katya as Katya presses down into the gentle slope of Trixie’s stomach. Oh god, she’s never done anything like this before. And with the way that Trixie kisses her…

How Katya hasn’t cum yet is a medical mystery.

“Trixie,” she gasps, “We have to slow down or I’m gonna…”

“Gonna what? Cum in your jeans?” Trixie teases, and her hands curl around Katya’s ass. There’s a soft meow behind them, and Katya groans.

“God, I can’t cum in front of Lucky. She’s our sweet summer child.”

“That’s what the blanket’s for,” Trixie continues. “Besides, I’m sure she’s happy that her moms are getting along, hm?”

“Trixie,” Katya whimpers, not sure if she wants to stop or just continue to rock against Trixie.

Katya buries her face into Trixie’s shoulder for the second time tonight. Except now it’s because she’s embarrassed by her straining arousal. Katya has sucked a lot of dicks at the skate park, but this is hands down the most erotic thing that she’s ever done. There’s just something about the way that Trixie is stroking her back as Katya helplessly ruts against her, toes curling under her. She feels safe and wanted.

Katya buries her face even deeper into Trixie’s shoulder as she loses control of her own hips. They’re shaking without her permission as she feels herself cumming. Her tears drip down her cheeks. Her loud moan is muffled by Trixie’s shoulder. Her body tightens and then, finally, relaxes.

“I can’t believe I just did that,” Katya gasps, but it’s difficult to be too sad after just having the fucking orgasm of her lifetime.

“I’m so turned on right now,” Trixie admits.

“You want me to…? Return the favor?”

Trixie shakes her head as she goes to check her phone. Katya can see ten missed calls over her shoulder.

“Not right now. It’s almost midnight, and my mom’s freaking out. I don’t know what she thinks will happen if I stay out.”

“Turn into a pumpkin?” Katya teases as she gives Trixie a grateful kiss. “Cinderella style?”

“Maybe we can arrange an official sleepover,” Trixie says as she lets her eyes linger over the wet stain between Katya’s legs from the cum. Katya covers her waist up with the blanket, flushing, even though she secretly loves it.

“It’s a date. I’ll be your skater girl if you’ll be my princess?”

“I do.”

Lucky ‘meow’ed his approval, and they both laugh.

———

SLEEPOVER

Katya can’t stop thinking about it. How sloppy and messy it was. How, for a moment, she had left her body. How she had let herself go so completely in Trixie’s hands, in a way that she’d never let herself come undone for some skater punk boy.

She sits on top of the washer as it thuds away and cleans the cum stains from yesterday. Katya curls one naked toe over the other as she texts:

Can u come over? -K

(and cum?) tonight? -K

It wasn’t even the sex that had been intimate, not with the layers and layers they had on. No, it was the gentle rub of Trixie’s finger down her spine, slow and sensual. It was the brush of those soft lips against her earlobe.

Mom said yes -T

So yes -T

Katya stares at the three dots at the bottom of the screen. No one else can make her worship and dread the ‘waiting’ icon like Trixie can.

I’m bringing my Barbie blanket, and if you laugh, I’m leaving -T

Lips zipped -K

Zapped shut -K

Also bringing my chem, so we can do some work too -T

All work no play is noooo way to spend our day -K

Er, night -K

Oh, you’ll be working…your fingers ;) -T

One text from Trixie, and her mind is as coherent as the tumbling laundry below. Katya bites her thumb. It’s not even a dirty sext, but the idea that Trixie, in her pink bows and skirts, is typing it…that’s what makes it dirty.

The memory of last night combined with the sweet hint of tonight makes her start to get hard. Oh, or maybe that’s from the steady thud, thud of the washer. She crosses her legs.

I’m sorry I didn’t finish u off -K

Don’t blame urself. We didn’t have time. Plus, I think I was a bit nervous -T

But we’ll have all night, right? -K

Wait. -K

Why were u nervous? -K

Katya can’t help but replay in her head everything she said to Trixie in the moment. Did she say something wrong? Was she too forward?

Cause…no one’s ever. You know. -T

Gone down on u? -K

Yeah, I mean I was so turned on, but…ugh, I don’t know how to say it. It’s just hard to let myself be naked like that -T

We can turn off the lights? -K

Duh -T

Be sure to wear pants that you can breathe in -T

Great now Katya is anxious because the more she thinks about the last night the more she wonders if Trixie liked it as much as she did. Well, of course she’d been into it, but Katya can’t help but worry she didn’t do enough.

She puts that bad energy into tidying up her basement, cleaning the floors of red bull cans and wiping away the questionable stains. As she changes her sheets, her mother makes an impressed whistle.

“My daughter? Cleaning? I feel like we’re expecting royalty.”

Katya flushes.

She’s never met anyone as regal and pristine as Trixie. True. But Katya just gives her a mom a look as she fills up a bowl with popcorn and pretzels. Her dad comes downstairs and doesn’t say anything while she fixes up peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Fuck, it’s so awkward.

“That, um, Tracey girl is coming?”

“Trixie.

“Seen her round here with her books. Smart girl,” he says and clears his throat.

“Yeah, she helps me study and uh, yeah. She’s nice.”

“Glad you’re finally hanging out with a nice girl not those trailer trash-”

Katya nods and leaves before he can finish his thought, and this might be the first time he’s spoken to her in weeks.That he vaguely knew who Trixie was impresses her. Not that his fuck-face approval means shit, but it does make her smile anyway.

Trixie arrives in a flurry of pink. She’s all pink bows in her big hair and nightgown that goes all the way down to her knees. Katya lets her eyes linger over the shape of Trixie’s soft hips through the nightie.

“Hey, girlfriend,” Katya says because she likes the feel of the word on her tongue. She likes the way that her mother claps in surprise and throws Trixie into a bearhug. The way her father doesn’t say anything one way or the other, but he nods as he heads back upstairs.

“Hey, skater girl. I brought you something. We can’t we girlfriend’s without….“

Trixie fixes a red bow in Katya’s hair, and Katya flushes.

Katya opens her mouth to say thank you but instead blurts out, “I got a bow, bitch!”

Trixie laughs and tugs her even closer: “Come here. I’m done with you and your ‘bad ass giggles.’”

She tastes like sour jolly ranchers, and Katya could get drunk off the bittersweet flavor. Katya only stops herself from deepening it because her mother’s just a room away brewing them hot chocolate. The thought of Trixie right here, before her, and the smell of the hot chocolate makes her heart tighten. What’s this feeling?

“Love the pink boxers,” Trixie says as she pulls back.

Katya tugs her shirt down, but the slight bulge is still visible through the thin fabric. When she looks up at Trixie, she’s awkwardly fixing the bow in her own hair.  

“Listen,” Katya says as she shifts from one foot to another. “I’m cool if we just watch movies, you know, and we don’t have to… do anything you’re not comfortable with. We can keep the lights on and just, you know, cuddle.”

Trixie flicks her on the forehead: “I said I’m nervous, Katya. Not that I don’t want to…there’s a difference.”

“Okay, I’m just saying that we can go slo- thanks, mom,” she cuts herself off as her mother brings them both white kitten mugs filled to the brim with hot chocolate. They all sit at the kitchen island, and, as Trixie talks about her dreams to go to “Moscow’s School for Cosmetic Creation Science,” Katya lets her foot sensually rub up against Trixie’s leg. Trixie kicks her to stop and Katya giggles.

Trixie really did her Barbie blanket, and she spreads it over them as they cuddle up on the couch in the basement to watch a movie. And by “watch a movie” Katya means “start to kiss and grind again.” With Trixie’s thick thighs wrapped around her waist, she can’t pay any attention to anything Nicolas Cage is saying.

Trixie pulls back: “Impressed at your stamina. Haven’t cum all over yourself yet?”

“At least I came once! You haven’t cum at all,” Katya shoots back, and Trixie crosses her arms.

Uh oh. Why can’t I ever shut up?

“Uh, Trixie, I mean- sorry. I just I’ve never made a girl cum either, okay? So…this is new to me, and I’m- I just want to make you as happy as you make me.”

“You make me happy, Katya. Don’t worry,” Trixie reassures her and leans down to press a kiss to the tip of her nose. “Let’s go to bed.”

They turn off the lights and make their way under the covers. Katya’s already semi hard from before, and she squirms as she lies down in the darkness next to Trixie. She can hear the soft sound of her breathing, and it’s crazy how crazy that drives her.

Trixie’s bare toes brush against hers again as she moves closer: “Can you, uh…can you undo my bra?”

The trepidation in Trixie’s voice, the shaking vulnerability, only makes Katya harder. God, her heart is speeding up in her chest as she pushes up Trixie’s nightie to get to her bra. She can’t see Trixie’s face, but she can feel the heat of her breath curling around her neck. Katya leans forward, like it’s their first time, to press a kiss to her lips. She fumbles with the strap. Snap.

“God, we’re fumblin’ around like a bunch of teenagers.”

Trixie giggles and kicks her leg: “We are teenagers, genius.”

They just did this yesterday, kinda, so why is she so nervous? Katya waits as Trixie pulls her bra out and tosses it over her shoulder. Trixie takes Katya’s hand and guides it to her breast. Katya touches the softness of Trixie’s breasts over her nightie. She rolls her thumb over her nipples until they harden and listens to Trixie’s breathing getting more and more ragged.

“You’re so beautiful,” Katya breathes.

“It’s dark,” Trixie whines against her lips. “You can’t even see me.”

“No, I don’t mean your face- even though that’s a pretty nice face. I mean you. Everything about you is beautiful. I just want to be against you forever.”

“Forever’s a long time, Katya.”

“Yeah? I didn’t go to schools for math, but I think forever is maybe more than a week.”

Trixie snorts and playfully rubs their foreheads together: “Yeah, might be more than a week. Maybe two.”

They’re giggling, and it helps to dissolve the tension. Katya scoots forward, so the length of her is pressed up against Trixie’s tummy. She loves the contrast of her hardness against Trixie’s softness. She loves slowly dragging herself, breath hitching, against Trixie, but she doesn’t want another repeat of last night’s ‘cum-and-done.’

“Show me how to…how to make you feel good,” Katya whispers.

Trixie takes Katya’s slightly trembling fingers in hers and slowly moves them down towards her thighs. Katya rests her calloused hands there, rubbing and down. She slowly, ever so slowly, lets her fingers dip down, so they’re ghosting over Trixie’s panties. She can feel moisture around Trixie’s inner thighs, and she rubs over her wetness with her thumb.

“Ah, K-Katya, th-that’s,” Trixie’s voice goes up a pitch, and Katya stops, worried she’s done something wrong.

“Is that good? Or?”

“Y-yeah! Really good,” Trixie gasps. “God, your hands are so big.”

“Guess what else is big?”

Trixie groans and leans in to rest her head against Katya’s shoulder: “Stop killing the mood, you dope.”

Katya smirks even as her heart pounds in her chest. She continues to let her thumb move in slow circles, listening to the soft, needy noises Trixie makes into her ear. Her cock twitches at the erotic sound.

Then Katya switches to using her pointer and middle finger, rubbing Trixie over the wetness of her panties. ‘Good?’ Katya whispers, and Trixie only replies with a shaky whimper and urges her to ‘go on.’

Katya works up the courage to push Trixie’s panties down and slip a tentative finger inside of her. Trixie gasps, body clenching up, and then relaxes into her. Katya leans in to steal a kiss as she rubs between Trixie’s wet folds. Oh, she tastes even better when she’s starting to come apart. Trixie’s thighs tremble as she pushes in a second finger, and Katya’s amazed that she’s doing this right on her first try.

“Good?” Katya asks again, but this time she already knows the answer. Trixie only bites down into her shoulder, and the pain makes Katya’s fingers curl inside her girlfriend.

Trixie moves her own hands down from Katya’s hip to rest over the bulge between her thighs. As Katya moves her fingers inside Trixie, she slowly returns the favor by rubbing the heel of her hand against her bulge.

“A-ah, Katya,” Trixie whimpers as she pushes in the third and last finger inside her. God, Trixie’s so soft and wet and needy under Katya’s trembling grip. The sounds of Trixie coming undone push Katya to speed up her pace.

Trixie’s back arches, and she moans Katya’s name into her neck as she cums all over her fingertips. Oh god, the sound sends a shiver down her spine. She pulls her fingers out and licks Trixie, trying to see if it tastes any different from a boy. A little less salty.

Trixie curls her hand around Katya: “You’re a natural, aren’t you? Can’t let you show me up…”

Then, before Katya can ask her again if it was okay, Trixie’s disappeared under the covers. Katya bites her thumb as Trixie presses a soft kiss against her boxers. She’s already stained them with precum, and, judging by the heat of Trixie’s mouth, Katya won’t last long.

“That’s it,” she whispers and curls a hand through her girlfriend’s soft hair.

Trixie tugs down Katya’s boxers and place a kiss against the head of her cock. Katya gasps as Trixie goes slowly, painfully slowly. She just sucks at the tip, and Katya jerks when her teeth accidently scrape against her.

“Uh, n-no, not like that-”

Trixie pulls the covers up: “I could use a little bit more instruction here.”

“The student has become the teacher?”

Trixie snorts, “You wanna get your dick sucked or what? Help a virgin out.”

She knows that this is Trixie’s first time doing this, so she needs to help guide her through it.

“Ok, now make sure to open wide, so your teeth don’t scrape. You want to work with your, uh, mouth and tongue to like create suction.”

Trixie follows her instructions, and she seems to have the hang of it as she goes down on Katya. The feeling of Trixie’s wet mouth moving down the length of her makes Katya’s toes curl. Trixie’s bobbing her head up and down, occasionally pulling back to breathe because she hasn’t mastered doing it through her nose. It’s sloppy and messy, but it’s oh so fucking good.

Katya’s hands curl in Trixie’s hair. She can feel that she’s close and doesn’t want to scare Trixie by just cumming in her mouth. “T-Trixie. I’m gonna cum. Y-you can stop if you want.”

Trixie stops sucking for a moment. “Can I taste you?”

Katya just nods, post-verbal at this point. As soon as she feels the heat of Trixie’s mouth on her cock, she can’t help but cum.

Trixie swallowed the first bit but then spit the rest out onto her palm.

“Ugh, s-sorry,” Trixie says as she stands up on shaking feet to grab a tissue. “Didn’t like the taste.”

Katya smiles. “Eh, it’s an acquired taste. That was good for your first.”

“You can just say it was shit,” Trixie snorts as she climbs back up into bed with her. They’re both exhausted after finishing each other off.

“It was good,” Katya insists. “And we’ll have a long time to practice.”

“Please don’t say forever,” Trixie giggles against her as she pulls the blankets up around them.

Katya kisses her forehead: “Not forever. Maybe more than a week, though.”

Lucky jumps up onto their bed and curls up by their feet. Katya falls asleep, feeling warm and safe in Trixie’s arms.

[elizabethrobertajones]

12x17 watching notes

(Finally :P)

expectations - well, I had pretty low ones before this episode came out but while I was mucking around waiting for it to become available through some channel or another, a couple of people have expressed actual excitement to me about it so now I'm confused, especially as they didn't offer any qualifiers about that, aside from that the Crowley and Lucifer stuff would be pretty boring, which was a lesser problem on my list of things to worry about.

Let's see what happens :P

-

The recap starts with the Crowley and Lucifer stuff. Yay.

Blah blah Dagon and Kelly... EILEEN HI

-

Okay interesting BMoL recap - starting with Mick and his character development so far, then sliding over to Ketch, punchy punchy Mary hitting things in time with him. So they're linked (see also: gloomy expectations :P) and actually doesn't tell us anything else about Mary in that moment, but keeps on recapping Sam and Dean's issues with the BMoL - Mary's been swallowed up into them.

-

Kendricks! With their creepy motto about being stronger together. Which is I guess what Sam accidentally echoed about the better the MoL are the better they are

(Mittens just told me the crossed keys on there are a symbol of heaven too which *anvils*

-

It is never a good sign when you're called into an office and they put plastic sheeting down. I guess one of these kids isn't coming out alive... I don't think they've said names yet but I think the pale dark haired one is Mick because duh

odds are they make him murder his friend for shits and giggles

I can't visuale "Michael" being Mick because that name just doesn't fit :P Also anvils again the whole Michael thing - we had his lance not too long ago. He's LURKING.

-

LOL the Headmistress pauses with horns behind her head. Not ominous about her being evil at aaaall.

-

LOL they are Michael and Lucifer parallels

And Michael wins. Obviously. Since we know Mick kinda makes it out of there. :P

-

So Headmistress with her codes is God, Mick actually wins the damn fight which is NOT good because the only other repetition of the entire cycle to win the fight was Cain and that ended *so well* for him.

All the Cas mirroring just got blown out of the water though. I guess he now gets to carry the weirdly dubious honour of dealing with the Michael mirroring... Michael who would not back down from the apocalypse because God Said So and he was going to be a good son and do what was destined of him, no matter if it meant killing his brother. Of course we've had that exact conflict remembered earlier this season with Ramiel musing on how Michael made his spear to kill Lucifer slowly and painfully. Cain mirrored down the line to Dean - Mick mirrors back up to it Michael. Interesting that they want to address this again even just thematically with parallels like this... I'm so not convinced ever at any point that Michael will actually come back, if nothing than for the show to dig in its heels and enjoy the "You forgot Adam" jokes to the end of time, but Michael IS a loose end narratively in that he's so heavily NOT been involved in the story again, and carries a real, terrifying weight that Lucifer does not, and tbh never really did, since he popped up in 5x01 all like hey I'm the villain, but Michael had a much more insidious awfulness to him... And with 2 appearances ever, remains far more mysterious and powerful in the story than the now over-blown cartoon villain Lucifer's been since, well, honestly, season 7, though obviously Hallucifer was not meant to be the real deal...

Anyway I should maybe not take forever to watch the thing because I always do and I started so late thanks to download links being terrible >.>

-

Wait

Mick is alone and drinking in the office at the BMoL compound remembering all this (yay alcoholism all of a sudden out of nowhere - he really has utterly switched gears to the Michael-Cain-Dean thread)

and now Sam n Dean are driving off to meet him

when the hell was the promo scene and was it even in this episode :P

-

EILEEN IMMEDIATELY

Yesssssss

I am immediately also upset that she loves Sam so much but doesn't tell him to not let Dean talk to her while he's driving if it means he has to keep looking down at the ipad to make it clear what he's saying to her >.> EYES ON THE ROAD. Sam's no good to you dead.

-

I am mostly admiring Eileen's hair because Kelly stuff is like... okay.

-

Aw she said goodbye to Sam specially. My heart.

-

Dean thinks it's cute too.

Sam's like "come on" oh god he's in love too.

Sammy, this is how it feels to be in the hot seat when people mock you for having an adorable crush. Leap behind denial and pretending there was nothing special about that "bye Sam" :3

And you should know you've seen it happen to Dean enough :P

-

Dean ships it.

And he always knows what's true and good :3

-

"He stole my line" says Crowley somewhere or other. I love how Dean was literally just saying not to call Crowley, and there's Mick in the library with the whiskey, "hello boys" and suuuuper ominous music, because he just let himself in. Does he know about Kelly? Sam and Dean are coordinating all the other hunters they know on this, but it's their resources. And they actually have other hunters they know and trust and are good, working with them.

And of course, the whole thing with the BMoL imposing on them - no privacy, the keys giving him full access to their lives, and, I think, assuming in a way they're their superiors because Sam n Dean are hunters, but Mick has the desk job and the education...

-

Sam and Dean present a united front stomping towards Mick, who has come to hang out. Now HE is on the case of Kelly, and of course it comes out that they were keeping it a secret...

Mick mentions cosmic shockwave but it's not Cas's cosmic consequences. I think we need to limit the word cosmic to one per season relevant things.

Anyway as with 12x14 showing the BMoL are playing on their stage but are tragically behind and under informed. I was recently musing on if they had the same technology as a start point as the Bunker and that detected the angel fall, they would have obviously a lot more time to develop it and would have equipment sensitive enough to detect all sorts of big events (I was wondering about the seals breaking in that context, but a Nephilim being conceived counts)

Now I have to listen to Dean recapping 12x08...

I feel like I should just leave a blank space for watching them arguing about killing Kelly or making her get an abortion. Just because... Buckleming, no, why are you even handling this subject. Why.

Mick takes the far more hardline approach that they should have killed her, but I mean, Sam and Dean start from the point of, we thought she agreed to get an abortion (are you not allowed to say abortion on American TV?)

-

I do love Sam and Dean sitting on the table side by side like this KNOWING they're like, the most intimidating men Mick will ever meet and if they play up the double act, he's so much more likely to crack from the pressure :')

This is rapidly turning into Buckleming's favourite trope of Sam n Dean judging you together, which I can't remember how often they do it but it is a Thing and 9x21 is not the only example though it’s the only one I can think of, and none of the other writers ever make them do exactly this.

I think part of why it stands out to me is just because while Sam n Dean are great and can be united against a mock-worthy foe, they actually aren't usually *united* and even when things are great, they play to their strengths, but often moments of unity highlight their differences, especially current conflicts or whatever. Moments of inward reflection occur and so on.

Here, they're just a block on this table which says "exposition: Winchester POV" while Mick is over there like "exposition: drop more anvils" (he just called the nephilim an "abomination" out of the blue)

-

"Until then, we drink" - I think Dean is distracting Mick more than anything - he already showed up in the Bunker, drinking, and Dean knows they have a lead thanks to Eileen. If they can get Mick trashed, who knows, maybe he'll forget, maybe this will all seem less urgent in the morning, maybe he can be reasoned with differently when the plan is he has the hangover and Dean is doing dishes noisily in the kitchen, if, you know, Mick had not out-drunk them

-

wait why is Lucifer back in that chair - did Buckleming literally not watch 12x15? It's so pointless to chain him up... he should be like, sitting in the corner of Crowley's room or whatever, LOOKING free and suffering.

The fact you could fade out from 12x13 and into 12x16 for the Lucifer stuff makes me think that Perez did the best he could and bless his cotton socks but you just can't un-fuck Buckleming writing when they're on a roll, because if they think Lucifer should be chained up in this chair like they wanted him, then here he is.

I mean aside from anything it's yet more complete disrespect for canon - that they clearly didn't do any homework for 12x13 because holy crap the Gavin stuff was badly handled, and that was their own story so you'd think they'd know how follow on from their OWN writing - and now they're not even playing ball with the other writers on current stuff >.>

As I said in an ask I answered a little before this episode, they have their own canon running adjacent to main canon, where all their mad plot stuff happens, and everyone else just has to deal with it as a sort of weird fever dream that happens in the background of the Winchesters' lives. You can't reason with it when they aren't listening. Or they just do not understand the point of what someone else wrote.

-

Anyway I guess Dagon feels like she failed Lucifer over something or other, which makes her a kid desperately trying to prove herself to her father.

Sounds ominous about Kelly "lasting" and that the pregnancy will probably include all sorts of body horror and then kill her - I suppose more burning up like the vessels or something in that vein.

So I suppose now we have the whole do you let the baby get born at the expense of the mother dying stuff - I really really hope this is not some wacky anti-abortion message but actually makes this look WRONG. I mean you'd think Lucifer and a trusted underling not valuing the mother over the baby would be a good start that this is a bad POV on abortion because it's again choosing for the mother what's "best" and which life to value more, but, well.

I also just don't trust the writers because the message was so bad in 12x08 with all the men arguing over what to do about her baby and Kelly's characterisation to not even consider abortion seriously despite having a baby from rape, before we even get into the ethical horror show of what it may or may not be intentionally saying about aborting babies with problems you just don't think you can deal with as a parent regardless of their potential

I mean fucking hell can we just not have this story arc?

-

Wait if we're having more Mick flashbacks did he actually kill his friend or are we just wallowing on this

I can't tell with these writers if I should expect a plot twist or just over-writing :P

-

the Headmistress has a chessboard in front of her, currently all set up and not played. But in the actual game, her chess pieces are all over the board. Does she think she has them in neat lines, but they're actually running everywhere?

Who knows - Mick tries to complain he's still cleaning up after Toni's mess while the Headmistress thinks that they're hopeless because Toni said so. She doesn't want chess pieces she can't get neatly in line.

Not how the game works, ma'am

-

She seems to think so - "assimilate or eliminate" - she really does not understand the Winchesters and their role in the whole... cosmic order. You work around them, or with them, not over them. :P

-

Blah blah Kelly and Dagon - Dagon doing the bare minimum to keep Kelly alive while off the radar of everyone looking for her, clearly not caring about Kelly... Kelly demands to see a doctor because of course we need her to make stupid decisions.

I bet the baby has like, little horns and a pitchfork in there and the weird pains are because it's poking the inside of her tummy with the pitchfork.

Cackling comes over the ultrasound, somehow.

Also, better odds the doctor is randomly an angel, maybe because they've possessed every single doctor in the country waiting for Kelly to drop by because she wants pics of Satan jr to share on Facebook to make all her schoolfriends jealous.

-

The hangover scene - Sam and Dean have their sleeves rolled the exact same way. They really are still being a unified front. Of course, the whole table thing - they're in their rightful places while confronting a cheery Mick hanging out in their kitchen. Last interloper to do that was God.

-

Of course this implies that Sam and Dean keep the resources to make Bloody Marys in their fridge in the first place.

Which is completely and utterly horrifying, that Mick comes in right as they're asking each other about Mary, and makes himself a Bloody Mary.

-

Binge drinking: a national sport and we're GOOD at it

-

I am disappointed that Dagon did not just roll with the fake relationship thing because that would have been hilarious and maybe actually made me interested in the character dynamics going on here. She's not exactly done anything to make her look like more than the standard standoffish demon with old school lucifer loyalties and not much interest in being nice except for what it gets her. Of course there's a Meg vibe going on but like... without all the oozing charisma and personality that in Meg 2.0 was just in one eyebrow all the time. I mean, she could just stand there and eyebrow slightly and... gah, Rachel Miner just has ridiculous stage presence :P I don’t DISLIKE Dagon but she’s trapped in this writing and has no room to do anything fun or challenging.

-

I just took a little break to come up with a much better way to write this story with Mittens, and we've concluded if Kelly's not going to be HORRIFIED by what's happening inside her, she should be intentionally stoned out of her mind with nephilim baby brain, which Dagon has to deal with like "UGH" and long story short, she has to throw Kelly a baby shower to keep her happy and they sit there crocheting booties together and AGAIN would give us real character dynamics - Kelly wavering between "what's happening to me?" and wandering around their dilapidated hide out of the week wondering where to put the nursery while singing to herself, and Dagon grinding her teeth and helping Kelly pick out names all sweetly :P

-

I just want these poor actresses to have something real to work with

-

Can't see horns on the nephilim

-

oh well

-

*slowly decays on my chair into a neat little pile of dust while Crowley is being boring with Lucifer* I was just watching 9x02 before this, and Crowley chained up in the dungeon there, playing Kevin for all its worth, and oh my god that was excellent writing

boring

... I do not remember typing that

Oh, Michael reference. Cool. Cool cool cool. Nothing new about him, but with his presence in the narrative I have to wonder if Lucifer is lying or exaggerating.

-

Giving Crowley what he "wants" in order to make him bored or unsatisfied or whatever Lucifer seems to be playing with seems to go back to a much less interesting version of Crowley than the one who seemed to have a lot more fun torturing Lucifer in 12x15 with a genuinely clever way to BREAK him but oh well

the "you win" obviously is really fake and Lucifer attempting to manipuate Crowley while under his control and ugh Crowley does it so much better. He broke Kevin in like 3 lines of dialogue

-

Ooh Mary

She has a bigass gun - ha, as I was typing that she added another attachment and made it bigger

-

I suppose that's not a metaphor about their relationship - "I've learned not to argue"

-

"Major in murder, minor in mayhem?" okay we've switched to whichever of Buckner and Ross-Leming is the quippy one :P I like these lines, to be clear. Mary is fun. Mary and Ketch fascinates me, if you didn't notice me writing a 6k fic where they were married in the aftermath of the world without monsters :P

-

Oh my god is she actually going to talk about her life with Ketch? I was hoping nearer the start of the season she'd open up to Cas but obviously that would be too positive for the both of them. And now it's part of Ketch seducing her, so I'm gonna cut off that thought right here, since it would have been for sweet family reasons with Cas but sooo not where it's going here :P

She's wearing the same shirt with the XOXOX pattern from 12x02 and we can see the chain with the ring on but it's not really obvious the ring is there

-

Oh NOW we can see the ring, after the "Mrs Winchester, I believe you're drawn to danger" line and the camera changes to a wider shot and you can see the ring finally, like, they parted her plaid a little.

-

I kind of want to be more emo about Mary talking about her life, and I am in other contexts but this episode has exhausted me, so her laughing sadly about her quiet normal life not happening was kind of a non-moment to me >.> I suppose she's sort of coming through to a state of acceptance if you apply the stages of grief, but she's still dealing with it all wrong by not talking to her family - even Cas - but bonding with the worst possible character to bond with this season. I mean, c'mon, if she'd started hanging out with Crowley he'd have got weirdly attached in a non-creepy way and kind of hate himself for giving her honest girl talk advice :P

-

Mick can't seem to move without ominous music following him

-

Pfft there's another, worse Brit here now who is the Poshest and even drinking tea while he comes to chat with Mick. Mick being all rough and stubble-y and pointing a gun at him is immediately looking like a more relatable character in terms of what we're asked to relate to with hunters and all - he's picking up their mannerisms

-

The posh boy talks about another set of hands - NOT a Cas parallel or at least the worst freakin Cas parallel ever. I think in a way, if that line does mean anything, then the parallels to Heaven here, have Mick as the Cas here, and posh boy as the Establishment Cas is up against.

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Oooh the blood is on the floor there next to Mick, but last episode Dean was standing directly on top of it so I missed that detail. Now it's just casually in the frame with Mick, reminding us and I guess therefore telling us what's on his mind. And, you know, showing us Mick framed with what was a huge pool of blood.

-

Okay I guess the guy who just murdered the doctor is a demon despite no eyes flashing because he didn't use an angel blade and an angel might have been a bit more, sorry have to murder you hope you understand - no idea why he did that unless Dagon's commanding some demons to clear up Kelly's mess, knowing her little mind control thingy might not be permanent. Or Crowley also is looking for the nephilim on the side to pointlessly torturing Lucifer.

I mean without the eyes he could have just been a really proactive hunter or BMoL

-

Oh gosh no Dean's on the phone to Cas, listening to his terrible voicemail. Help.

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OH NO EILEEN'S HERE AND SHE'S SITTING IN THE 'COME AND GET ME' POSE

Sam you need to take her on that table right now

Dean will clear the heck out, he understands and thinks you're cute together

-

I literally did not listen to a thing they said while screeching about that *rewinds for plot*

-

Also just the whole Cas n Dean thing on one side and Sam n Eileen in the other room

-

OH gosh they saved the demon reveal for Eileen having a badass fucking showdown with him both showing their cards with him doing the eyes, and her pulling out an ANGEL BLADE

I know they're a lot cheaper in the current economy but I have to think Sam gave it to her from their spares pile, because of the Asa Fox thing on the one hand, that they ARE rare for hunters to best and angel in any way but also just this way it's sweet

but oh boy the Cas/Dean Sam/Eileen stuff that happens when you show her pulling an angel blade

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Ah, the demon did work for Dagon

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(Which means Crowley is flagging in this race, if he's even in it >.>)

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But anyway Dean third-wheeling Sam and Eileen is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Sam is awkward and smiling! Eileen is gorgeous and smiling! Dean likes Eileen a lot with respect as a hunter (thinks it's cool she stabbed a demon in the heart) but is totally cut out of the final moment where Sam and Eileen clink beer bottles, I mean, he just *vanishes*

and then I realise - this is how Sam feels all the time when he's stuck in a scene with Dean and Cas :P

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What is Crowley even doing

I suppose this scene is very blatantly illustrating how 2 stories can happen at once - Crowley thinks he's showing ultimate dominance, and Lucifer is subverting it by using the words Crowley wants to hear for his own ends, with actual wink wink nod nod to how he's the one saying how it will be. The demons are confused and hesitant about what they're clapping for... Not entirely sure which power is ruling them and how it's going to turn out for them - who do you support in this race? Crowley is the surface text, presenting what he thinks is obvious from the visuals. But Lucifer is the subtext, with his back turned to Crowley he's free to convey what ever else he wants, even to the point of painting the exact opposite story to what's going on

discord between surface and subtext.

-

Kelly seems to be genuinely trying to be totally normal about her pregnancy... is this denial?

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Literally did not recognise Sam's voice... I knew it had to be SOMEONE putting on a voice but what the heck Sam can ACT?

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I mean I'm not complaining I love it but AAAH

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Also me whenever Sam and Eileen are on screen together: hands over my mouth, eyes all big and anime shiny, faint squealing whistle escaping from between my fingers

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Aw Mick no don't ruin this party

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Eileen: "no one cares" *continues making heart eyes at her* *sam sends heart eyes at her*

Oh god we're all in love with Eileen, this is not going to end well, because I can't fight Sam for her. I am smol and he will kill me.

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Anyway more class struggle between the BMoL and hunters... they have files on them but think they have no training, despite the fact they survived. I mean, Eileen has made it as a deaf hunter. Can they not appreciate how fucking badass she must be? :P Learning on the job with live monsters means any hunter who makes it so far has not been killed by literally every “class” or “test” they ever had.

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Blah blah Sam gets handed the colt while standing in the shadow of a bridge blah blah 1x21 parallels. In 1x21 they did not get the shot they wanted. Although Dean was handed the Colt by John (who Mick is now standing in for) and gave it to Sam before he didn't make the shot. I wonder if Sam will give the gun to someone else.

(For no reason other than that she's here, I'd love to see Eileen do it, although of course it would take away some narrative impact from a major character parallel. But I love her so)

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Well that was an easy kidnap

Kelly really is not coming out of this well. I'm going to blame as much as I can on baby brain. She's such a pawn in this narrative and it sucks on a grand scale.

-

*nyoom*

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Is Dean just taking her straight to the others for them to maybe shoot her? I mean, what is the actual plan here

-

*Dean continues missing Cas out loud* *doesn't care about this other guy who showed up instead*

-

Anyway a whole bunch of blokes are here to talk to Kelly about it, though she's now too hugely preggers for take-backsies

-

Sam wants to help, Mick has the unsympathetic POV that the baby won't even love Kelly because it's a monster, Kelly actually gets to say out loud that she was used and is upset about the Lucifer thing (woah, a whole line of dialogue about it :P) and that she loves her baby anyway.

Blonde posh twat just wants to kill her immediately, which causes Dean to go into human shield mode to Kelly

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Eileen's just like, not everyone is looking directly at me, what is going on

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*individual reaction shots for literally everyone being thrown around*

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*everyone shoots Dagon pointlessly*

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elizabethrobertajones has anyone talked about how Kelly looked when Dagon came to get her

mittensmorgul Not that I've seen... How did she look?

elizabethrobertajones she has such muted reactions to everything but in this case Dagon walks right up to her and Kelly says nothing but is leaning away reluctantly and then Dagon grabs her hand and pulls her and the shot of her being led off screen is like this defeated school kid who was caught going truant

mittensmorgul She knows she's still being used...

elizabethrobertajones yeah NOW I feel sorry for her because she seems defeated and used and broken

mittensmorgul yeah.

elizabethrobertajones it's just sucky they didn't write her well enough before to build any of that up or like... actually make her look genuinely depressed and unwell

mittensmorgul yep they just made her seem like a flake

elizabethrobertajones that one little defeated kid being taken home moment where Dagon grabs her hand says EVERYTHING but they had like FOUR SCENES together already and I didn't see this!!

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YES Eileen has the Colt!!!! GO GO EILEEN

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I guess she shoots british blonde dickhead instead because he was gonna shoot Kelly or something

-

Colt slow mo! It really does slow down the flow of time every time it's shot.

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Aw, crap, she shot the blonde loser instead but because Dagon did, well, the 1x21 thing, and we got to see how a Colt kills a human (which I ALWAYS wondered, because it can't just make you sort of die normally from gunshot wounds - you have to, you know, DIE of a kill anything gun wound, so messy, quick and awful :P)

Anyway Eileen NOOOO you look so horrified :( I was just saying to Mittens her Cas mirroring piles on and I can't even think what this is, just that she now feels like shit for things which aren't her fault but she has this death on her conscience, and it didn't even happen in defence of anyone, it was just he stood in the way like an idiot and Dagon didn't feel like getting shot today and knew exactly what was happening because Eileen hesitated just long enough to let her disappear.

-

... Does Dean actually know the Colt is in play because UGH we were robbed of that reveal

-

MICK NO

EILEEN IS PRECIOUS AND THIS IS DEFINITELY CROSSING A LINE. YOU LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE

-

I guess the Code IS brainwashing, and this is again a Cas parallel - this would be a crypt scene kind of moment for him except that the cute love story is between Sam and Eileen, and Mick's interloping on that with the brainwashedness and the whole... already killed his puppy because the Headmistress said so flashbacks, so what is random old hunter Eileen to do with anything, but even someone he openly disliked as much as whatsisface was a BMoL and should be defended

honestly he should remember Eileen's being defended by 2 legacies and she herself is a legacy and I think if I remember correctly was raised by a hunter with connections to the Irish chapter?

-

We're crossing over into the final 10 minutes of a Buckleming episode here

-

Sam argues for free will, which is a bit of a turn around when Dean's right there (not that Sam isn't about free will - they ARE Team Free Will after all, but Dean tends to lead the way on this while Sam has a much more interesting relationship with it for other reasons), but hey, it's a Buckleming episode - themes can bounce around pretty wildly and get connected to anyone. :P Sam's been all in the centre of attention and having a lot of big dramatic moments lately. Plus, crypt scene parallel and all, he had to talk the brainwashed person out of killing the one he loves so that at least the romance angle is in there somewhere. It's like, one step removed from the original, but allows Sam to interject himself into the scene, without getting tangled up in crypt scene stuff himself (don't think he's ever really done more than a few cursory I know you're in there moments, back and forth with being the one in there or the one saying it, which were MotW little things and not part of the big narrative, just the supporting mirrors :P).

Of course also parallels the subverted crypt scene, by the crypt scene obsessed director in 12x10, where again Ishim was used as an intermediary to break the back and forth-ing of the crypt scene repeats between Dean and Cas, and didn't need a I know you're in there, but again boiled it down simply to protecting a loved one in a particular framing playing off previous iterations (10x22, which was much more in the formula) - Sam gets this parallel where he can fight for his loved one without it being all twisted up and weird in possession that THEY have to deal with, just the attacker. So it looks nothing like the actual crypt scene, guy in a long tan coat and scruff trying to kill a loved one because brainwashing aside, but is still part of the organic growth of the way this subtext has gone.

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Aaand Mary took off the ring. Do not want John to see this.

-

Ketch like, wow, I thought I'd just end up killing you. 

Charming. 

Flash some more of your excellent calves at her to make her forget you said that.

(I am personally offended by his calves as I made Mary practically gag over him having pallid calves in said fic where they were married. Dammit DHJ can you stop being amazing because I need to hate every aspect of your character down to his calves and you're like, hi, I'm going to sit in this ridiculous pose now so you can see my calves are indeed the same colour as all the rest of me and not the garish calves of the man who wears a suit all year until you drag him to the beach)

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Anyway Ketch is like blah blah thanks for giving up your family and throwing yourself into hunting and my bed with no strings attached, isn't this grand, and Mary's like, uh, I like my family and I want to have it all, hunting and family, and Ketch is like wow I just started to like you and now I really have to kill you and oh dear. 

Oh dearie dearie me.

Imminent attempt on her life by Ketch aside, I think Mary has a bit of a misunderstanding about hunting and family - 12x03 was them trying to show her how their life actually was, but she was too messed up to appreciate it and actually needed the space. But it was trying desperately to build a life where Mom comes along on hunts and that's cool because we hunt and Mom hunts and she's here, so... uh, this is what we do now. 

But instead Mary split off from them entirely - 12x06 showed she hunted in secret away from her family in the past, and kept the two completely partitioned - I think something Sam also has issues with although he had been more open to the idea of marrying someone in the life, said in a Robbie episode before the Robbie episode where Eileen showed up and uh hey guess who's here right now... Uh, slightly sidetracked (slightly hit by a massive shipping container that is Sam and Eileen)... But yeah, Mary needs to reconcile that she has a hunting family, that that isn't a bad thing, and the two things can coexist perfectly normally. They don't NEED her to get rid of all the monsters and in a way she's talking to Ketch about two life choices, to hunt and have a family, ignoring the detail that she and Ketch are on an extermination run against all monsters, so eventually there won't BE hunting to define herself by so she won't be able to have it all because one part will be over... and of course, the more she goes on like this, the more precarious it seems for the other part too. Dean's worrying about not hearing from Mary although he's making a bigger fuss about not hearing from Cas. And their arcs are paralleled, though to obviously different ends that Cas is romantically estranged from Dean and Mary's estranged from being his mom.

-

Blah blah Lucifer, he's shirtless, exposition is still happening, Crowley's found himself a hacker to crack the spells on him. he just made it out of this scene but I suppose next Buckleming episode he's queued for untimely death of a black guy.

-

Him leaving and the sounds of the Bunker door overlap nicely.

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Eileen <3

-

(She hasn't done anything yet, she just looks sad)

-

Sam and Dean agree with me. Dean says nice things, and then Sam gently touches her shoulder (I am officially, like, noped out of these DeanCas parallels I just can't) and turns her around and signs to her and and he's touchign her hairrrrr and aannanodsigrdoh epjddpawhtiwoeugipeow[pe[wkgo[rdf

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I'm all overcome with emotions about Sam touching her hair all gently and her weeping into his chest and I can't deal with Kelly and Dagon scenes immediately after. Now Kelly really is the scolded child who tried to run away, and Dagon is showing Kelly FINALLY that she only cares about the baby in no uncertain terms (it seemed fairly obvious in their first scene but I guess it just wasn't obvious enough to Kelly, who has the worst case of baby brain ever, which I always thought was a thing where you put the kettle back in the fridge after you made tea or something, not trusting a Prince of Hell with your unborn nephilim baby and your own life)

-

okay now Kelly has a nearly appropriate horror level to what's going on with her baby

-

Oh noes Headmistress has shown up

-

More schoolboys getting scolded

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Everyone is children

-

But Mick is our inside guy at least. He actually wants to argue against it because he passed a crypt scene test. I still don't know if he's gonna survive but I mean, at least he had this? Sometimes cool characters get an entire backstory right before they get murdered and I can honestly see this ending with Ketch being in the room because he's about to slice Mick's throat, probably with the same dagger he once killed his BFF with back in Kendricks because why not :P

Which means Mick softening up only serves a metaphorical purpose unless he left some inside way for the Winchesters, like idk his bottle of tomato juice and recipe for a Bloody Mary turns out to be the code or something

WHO KNOWS

-

Well me if I ever finished the episode

-

She asks if the hunters obey him, but Mick obeyed them >.>

-

Mick's chest hair is trying to get out of the room before him... 

Dang, sir. I was gonna joke about it during last episode when he was hanging out in the back of the car, but I didn't feel like it was worth mentioning and i now regret that comment not happening completely; it's definitely actually heightening the tension here, with his half-open shirt.

-

Nooooo they can't kill Eileen... Why is she on their shitlist? I mean I know why but this is so unfair

-

MICK IS REBELLING

-

he is so gonna die because he's doing the Naomi Gadreel Metatron redemption moment

especially because they're all symbolic useless deaths; I think Gadreel was the only one who even made any sort of real difference

-

RIP Mick

-

Your scruff will be missed

-

Dean you can not sigh like that about Cas, with the big soulful heaving of shoulders and audibly wet breath and all I mean

someone might think you were in love with him or something, the way you're carrying on

-

Incidentally I thought there was something fishy about it and Mittens confirmed to me it's literally 2 days later and Sam and Dean appear not to have seen each other since shit went down, but Sam was the last person to talk to Eileen and know what she's doing, so I'm guessing Sam and Eileen spent 2 days in Sam's room rearranging the furniture.

I am beyond proud of my boy.

-

HEY Dean gets the Colt. I mean it's almost enough to fill the gap between Sam x Eileen and Dean x Colt and forget Destiel :P

It parallels him and Ketch again (he also had sweet talky words to the Colt, which mirrored back to Dean getting her in 6x18), so I'm starting to feel like he kills Ketch with it? Like, symbolically needing to use it on a human person instead of the monster big bad or something? I know Eileen already accidentally killed a dude with it, but I mean, Dean and Ketch seem to have a reckoning coming, whether Dean knows Ketch and Mary hooked up or not (although, narratively, ends up heaping on weirdass subtext whether he knows or not >.> Dean vs the step father kind of thing)... this would be sort of neat.

-

Poor Mick just laying there.

-

Oh I typed that thing about Dean and Ketch before the Headmistress threw down the files for the Winchesters with Dean's on top, so, yeah. That's their reckoning a'coming.

-

It's 1am and I really have not conclusive thoughts about this except that I am delighted Sam and Eileen hooked up and she fled the country instead of sticking around making me nervous about her getting the hit on her, and Sam did a bad Irish accent earlier because he's like, goofily in love with her, so I guess he might just like, randomly fly to Ireland in the season finale to help her and they get married while they're out there and -

Oh and also whenever Cas comes back Dean narratively has full permission to take him back to his room and not let him out for an entire two days.

[hellooogaynow]

1-100

omg ok tbh i forgot that i reblogged that ask thing but thank u fren here u go

1. spotify, soundcloud, or pandora? 

spotify

2. is your room messy or clean?

um ok so my room at my mom’s is technically the office and just full of mine and everyone else’s storage so it isn’t really my room i guess and my room at my dad’s is nearly empty and i haven’t been there more than a couple times in a while and i’ve been crashing at friend’s and family’s houses and living out of a suitcase for weeks so i’m just gonna say i don’t really have a room

3. what color are your eyes?

dark brown

4. do you like your name? why?

alright well this is complicated because i hate the name emily and lately i’ve been going by emmitt for a while and it’s just weird because i feel so disconnected from emily and not super connected to emmitt either and i feel like i should just be a nameless person because i hate being referred to as anything tbh

5. what is your relationship status?

happily in a relationship with someone i really care about

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

a detached mess

7. what color hair do you have?

my natural dark brown color

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

ah it’s a purple mini van that’s rusting and dying

9. where do you shop?

target lol

10. how would you describe your style?

almost exclusively button ups and baseball shirts

11. favorite social media account?

tumblr probably i use this the most out of all of them

12. what size bed do you have?

queen

13. any siblings?

i have 2 sisters

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

i honestly have no idea how to answer this question i don’t have a dream destination or anything

15. favorite snapchat filter?

omg probably the cute cat one that changes ur voice cuz my friends look so cute when they use it

16. favorite makeup brand(s)?

i don’t know anything about makeup

17. how many times a week do you shower?

every day sometimes multiple times a day

18. favorite tv show?

buffy the vampire slayer and dollhouse kill me

19. shoe size?

idk i’m pretty sure i’m a 6

20. how tall are you?

5’1

21. sandals or sneakers?

sneakers

22. do you go to the gym?

no lol but i do plan to start going once i actually move in to my new place and get settled

23. describe your dream date

i want to spend a day in chicago with emily doing whatever we want just walking and wandering into stores and go to a zoo or a museum or navy pier or honestly just anything at this point i miss her so much i don’t care what we do as long as we’re together

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

$6

25. what color socks are you wearing?

they’re both different variations of black white and light blue

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

at least 2

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

yeah i recently got a job in the mental health field and i work primarily with adults with various mental illnesses in a 24/7 supervised living area at the moment it’s mostly individuals dealing with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, and borderline personality disorder and i help them with symptom management, building the skills they have chosen to work on in their treatment plans, and help them carry activities of daily living so they can become self-sufficient and can transition out and live on their own

28. how many friends do you have?

ah i mean i know i have a lot of friends but as far as really close friends i know i can count on and will most likely always have around i’d say i have about 8

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

ah fuck well i went through a really destructive phase in my recent past where i was just in a bad place and i withdrew and lashed out a lot and was super emotionally unstable and i hurt a lot of people and i regret it

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

omg i have no idea i usually just smell all the blue ones and go from there

31. 3 favorite boy names

elliot (this is my favorite name in the world probably)

max

derrick

32. 3 favorite girl names

bennett

caroline

sara

33. favorite actor?

i thought about this for a solid 5 minutes and no one is coming to mind i’m gonna leave this blank

34. favorite actress?

eliza dushku and alyson hannigan kill me every time i watch dollhouse or buffy i’m in love with her

35. who is your celebrity crush?

amber liu

36. favorite movie?

selena

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i used to read a lot when i was a kid and the music of dolphins by karen hesse has always stuck with me for some reason idk if it’s my favorite but when i was a kid i checked it out at least once a month on our elementary library visits and even now i always find myself thinking about it

38. money or brains?

well if u don’t have money u can’t survive in this capitalist society so i mean

but if this question is asking what i want in a person i’d want the smart

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

my family calls me mimi and tbh it’s the only thing i actually feel comfortable with weirdly

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

i’ve been to the hospital multiple times to visit people but i don’t remember actually needing to be there myself besides when i burned my hands as a child

41. top 10 favorite songs

this is def subject to change depending on my mood at any given moment but for right now:

hold me tight by bts

house of cards by bts

lie by bts

all mine by one ok rock

deeper deeper by one ok rock

we are by one ok rock

decision by one ok rock

clock strikes by one ok rock

como la flor by selena

moon river waltz by shinee

42. do you take any medications daily?

no i had issues with family and insurance so i had to stop seeing my psych and taking meds

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

dry

44. what is your biggest fear?

my mom having anything else bad happen to her

45. how many kids do you want?

this is most likely not going to be my choice lol i don’t have a number in mind if i do have kids

46. whats your go to hair style?

short and whatever it wants to do when i get out of the shower

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

well i don’t really live in a house rn but my mom’s house is huge she just moved in and it’s crazy big i’m so happy for her also the house i’m gonna move into soon is p small but still cute

48. who is your role model?

idk probably my mom she’s been through a lot and is still going strong

49. what was the last compliment you received?

“you’re so sweet, you know that?” from a client

50. what was the last text you sent?

“nini

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

tbh i have no idea i was probably in elementary school

52. what is your dream car?

something that runs, is either blue or grey, and magically doesn’t cost me anything to drive it

53. opinion on smoking?

it smells terrible and i don’t like to be around people who smoke

54. do you go to college?

yeah i just graduated

55. what is your dream job?

i have no idea i don’t know what i want i haven’t really thought that far ahead but i love my job so far so i’m alright with where i’m at

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

i don’t really have a preference as long as i’m with and near people i care about

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

i don’t think i’ve ever personally done that

58. do you have freckles?

yeah i have a couple scattered around

59. do you smile for pictures?

i make this weird stupid half smile face and i can’t stop

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

761

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

i have not

62. do you still watch cartoons?

i never want to not watch cartoons

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from wendy’s or mcdonalds?

i don’t like chicken nuggets from anywhere

64. favorite dipping sauce?

wait for what

i like soy sauce for potstickers

65. what do you wear to bed?

usually shorts and a t shirt

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

no i’m terrible at spelling out loud

67. what are your hobbies?

i like to dance idk not much else tho i guess

68. can you draw?

nooooo

69. do you play an instrument?

i played guitar once but i forgot everything smh

70. what was the last concert you saw?

the bts wings tour

71. tea or coffee?

tea

72. starbucks or dunkin donuts?

dunkin donuts

73. do you want to get married?

yes

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

e g

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

i’ve thought about this actually and i’m mostly just hesitant about how difficult it would be to change my name on like all the legal paperwork and like bills and work things and it just sounds super complicated but i wish it could be easier because i hate where my last name comes from and if i married my current gf we would literally have the exact same name and we would be able to confuse people even more and i just think it would be funny

76. what color looks best on you?

black i think

77. do you miss anyone right now?

yes oh my god

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed always closed

79. do you believe in ghosts?

yeah i do

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

ok i get so mad when i go to a friend’s place who has long hair and i’m walking barefoot through their house or i’m sleeping over or i’m under a blanket or something and it just makes me so mad when i feel dumb long single strands of hair in my toes i hate it so much it makes me so mad idk man but this happened to me last night and i’ve been thinking about it ever since

81. last person you called?

ah well the last phone call that i was on was with the director of all the residential living things at my work

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

idk probably chocolate and vanilla with caramel

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular oreos

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

no sprinkles pls

85. what shirt are you wearing?

black and grey v neck t shirt

86. what is your phone background?

a picture of my gf i took a while back of her from a distance with the river and sunset in the background

87. are you outgoing or shy?

shy with everyone besides my friends

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

only like a very specific like 2 people but when it’s anyone else i get really uncomfortable with being touched and you’d think that people wouldn’t just come up to you and start touching your hair and telling you how soft it is but it’s more common than you think and it makes me want to d ie

89. do you like your neighbors?

my nonexistent neighbors r gr8

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

i always wash it in the morning but sometimes i wash it at night too if i feel gross from the day

91. have you ever been high?

nope never

92. have you ever been drunk?

yes

93. last thing you ate?

a blizzard from dairy queen with pieces of brownies in it

94. favorite lyrics right now

ok i’m gonna be honest and just say i’m not in a place to listen to music rn i’ve been listening to exclusively podcasts and i have not listened to a song and not zoned out completely during it in a very long time and no lyrics are coming to mind

95. summer or winter?

summer

96. day or night?

night

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

ah milk or white i guess i’m not a super big fan tho

98. favorite month?

june cuz my birthday also gay

99. what is your zodiac sign

gemini

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

my dad