#someone save the poor thing they cannot catch a break honestly

[aroacesigma]

sigma is by far the most relatable bsd character because when he's introduced he looks so put together . iconic . and then they have a mental breakdown, lose their shit and spend the rest of the manga / anime 3 seconds away from a panic attack at all times .

[littlerosetrove]

My initial Spoiler Thoughts (as I was watching) for 7x8

Oof, so Bobby’s dad was an alcoholic, probably abusive to his wife, for sure hit his older brother, but young Bobby idolized his dad. Seems the older brother saw past the facade and was not impressed, even begged Bobby to come with him and the mom. Damn that's rough.

Athena telling Bobby he needs to remember he’s not the same man he was 10 years ago. She’ll probably need to remind him of this many more times. 

Oh thank goodness Amir isn’t The Bad Guy. I was a bit worried they’d make him, which is less interesting and cheap. 

May! She was there and gone. =/ 

The cartel? Hm. A Latino stereotype and not a good one. Hm…. 

Dang, I wish we could get an episode where Eddie got to speak Spanish.

I get it for sure, but Amir has read Bobby all wrong. He was suicidal for years after the fire, and to this day doesn’t fully believe he deserves this second chance with life. Bobby still struggles. But again, I get it cause that’s not something Amir could know without knowing and talking to Bobby. 

Ouch. Bobby basically had to take care of his alcoholic father, be a parent to his own parent. 

This was like one of The Worst Days Ever for Bobby and Amir. Good lord.

Oh that transition was MEAN. From Bobby’s dad to Bobby?

….Bobby found his dad. Dead. Are you KIDDING me?? This poor boy!

Yeah um. I’d say Bobby has had A LOT of tough and bad shit happen in his life. Give our TV dad break please!!! (i know they need drama in this drama, but still)

Shiiiit Bobby started drinking as a kid? Fuuuuck his dad. Like RIP, but come on. =//

Whoa. Amir asking who has Bobby been trying to save? Uhhhh take your pick, but my guess is his dad, whom he couldn’t save from his own alcoholism. Jeez.

The young kid playing Bobby was really good, honestly. 

Yooo I wouldn’t doubt it if, Herman? I can’t remember his name already, but the grandfather of the cartel member comes back. We’ve seen bts of Bobby wearing a hospital gown, so I do think someone from the cartel will try to get revenge or something on Bobby because Bobby Cannot Catch A Break! 

Huh... we've know this but Eddie is a kind of mirror to Bobby. Bobby still can't forgive himself for the fire or it seems his dad dying (which was an accident). And Eddie can't forgive himself for *gestures* Shannon and their relationship. They're both still stuck in the past, and don't know how to properly move forward, and I mean really move forward (though Bobby I'd say is doing better than Eddie). And of course forgive themselves. Stop making me feel sad, challenge.

I do wonder what ever happened to Bobby's mom and brother? Are they even still alive?

Overall a great episode. As heartbreaking as Bobby’s backstory is, I was very happy to learn it because up until now we’ve known very little of his childhood and whatnot. Excellent acting from Peter and Malcom-Jamal, and I think the young kid who plays kid Bobby has a bright future. 

I will say that the tone of this season has been kind of all over the place. Not a huge issue for me, but hopefully they’ll have a better balance next season when things aren’t as rushed and truncated. 

[phantomposting]

Honestly been thinking about making a lil au but also I kinda don't trust myself to write the characters correctly. So I'm gonna instead share my ideas here :D if anyone likes them feel free to use them! Just let me know so I can see your awesome work.

This au is a DP x DC au I've been plotting out an entire plot line for this for months now. It's another Batfam oriented one cause I'm absolutely obsessed with this dynamic

Also warning this is super angsty this contains implied Experimentation/Torture, Dissection, and some major character death

---------------------------------------------------------

It starts with Jason getting discovered by the GIW for having an ectosignature courtesy of the Lazarus pit. Jason ends up getting kidnapped and Batman catches onto this development. Batman has already failed Jason in the worst possible way and no matter what he's not gonna let there be a repeat of it. Batman is on the case! He's going to hunt down whoever kidnapped Jason and save his son no matter what! Jason wakes up in a glass cell where he notices a small thin kid with white hair sitting hugging his knees in the corner of a cell next to Jason's. The kid doesn't look to be doing so hot which ticks Jason off. Soon the two get acquainted and bond over the whole getting kidnapped and experimented on thing. Phantom is managing to keep his secret from the GIW so he's a bit worse for ware especially since the poor kid is starving cause what ghosts need to eat right? Jason is only in there for a week but he and this kid who calls himself Phantom have absolutely bonded and he would go to hell and back for him. Near the end of the week though Jason overhears the GIW scientists talking about Phantom (who has been there longer than he has) they say that Phantom isn't looking too good and that they expect him to soon destabilize. The Scientist plan to get in one last bit of data while they still can which means its off to the dissection table for Phantom. This absolutely ticks Jason off and this guy is absolutely determined to do whatever he can to stop this. Though he isn't successful. However this is the same day Batman manages to find the GIW hideout and raid it with Robin, Red Robin, and Nightwing. They split up to cover more ground. Phantom is the first to be discovered by Red Robin and Nightwing in one of the labs. Phantom is awake enough to manage guiding the two to Jason and they all proceed to break out. Promptly after being free of the GIW Phantom accidentally reveals his secret to the bats by passing out and reverting back to human. They rush to get the kid help opting to take him to Alfred since the kid is clearly some meta with lots of inhuman things going on and absolutely cannot be discovered or else he risks ending up with the GIW again. After some recovery time it's discovered that Danny is a halfa and his parents were killed in an accident (which involved the GIW and actually is what landed him in the facility). Jason has a sit-down with Bruce and asks the guy to please take the poor kid in and help him. Jason has an internal struggle wanting to take the kid in himself but not feeling like he himself is the best option. Bruce can tell Jason cares a lot about the kid and though he hasn't known the meta long and has a strict no metas rule (in which he has absolutely already broken) he decides to agree to take the kid in. Someone needs to protect the poor kid from their messed up government (in which he is totally gonna have to talk to the Justice League about this one) and it might as well be him. And well by the end of everything Danny ends up with a caring family who wants nothing more than to help him and keep him safe.

Hope you guys enjoy my little rant! I've had a few more ideas but for now I'll live it off on this lil rant/prompt

[stolen-pen-name23]

KATIEEEE THAT PROMPT LIST IS AMAZING YOUR MIND—

ahhh there are so many good ones okay maybe #15 with anakin and ahsoka??

FIONA MY LOVE I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER!!!! //from this prompt list// prompts now closed//

Here ya go!

---

Sickness looms thick in the air like humidity blanketing a coastline.

Refugee camps breed a lot of things – desperation, camaraderie, hunger – but disease is the most ruthless of its spawn. Ahsoka can feel the lives of these poor, tired souls blinking out like so many ancient stars.

Anakin walks beside her, and from the weary set of his shoulders, she knows he senses it too.

They are here to provide relief, but Ahsoka fears they are too late. Hundreds of people lie in sick beds, their emaciated bodies lacking the strength to fend off the virus that has circulated the camp.

The sour scent of bile and death fills Ahsoka’s nostrils and she grimaces. She shifts the heavy backpack full of medicines and vaccines on her shoulders and hears the vials clink against each other.

Anakin falters.

“What is it, Master?”

“Maybe you should go back to the ship,” he says nervously, eagle eyes scanning the hundreds of dead and dying.

“Why?”

“I don’t like the look of this disease.”

“It’s non-transmissible to Togruta. If anything, you should go back to the ship.”

Anakin waves off her protests but does not make her go back to the ship. Instead, he leads the way to a makeshift office area. A woman, haggard but determined, greets them.

“Are you the Jedi?” she asks, hope glinting in her bright eyes.

“Yes. We’ve come with the supplies. There is more on our ship, but we have some here to get started with,” Anakin says.

“Excellent,” the woman says. “We cannot thank you enough. These vaccines will save many lives.”

“Of course. It is the least the Republic can offer.”

Anakin returns to the ship to unload more supplies while Ahsoka stays and begins to help the woman organize the medicines and vaccines.

She pauses and looks around at the desperate scene before her.

These refugees all fled Separatist-controlled planets in search of asylum — in search of hope. Their hopes were dashed when disease broke out in the camp. Now, with every life-saving vial Ahsoka unpacks, she prays to the Force that their hope can be restored.

---

The Resolute has been in hyperspace for two days. Ahsoka knows the journey from the outer rim planet back to Coruscant is a long one, but this knowledge fails to stave off the boredom.

She knocks on the door to Anakin’s quarters impatiently. Ahsoka hasn’t seen him all day and quite frankly, she just needs someone to talk to. She is about to give up and try searching for him in the hangars when he opens the door.

He looks… disheveled.

“Ahsoka? Do you need something?” he asks, voice husky from sleep.

“Did you just wake up?”

“Aren’t you the one always telling me I need to sleep more?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s Obi-Wan and honestly you should listen to him when he tells you to do that.”

“Whatever. Did you need something?” Anakin asks again.

“No, I was just bored. I wanted to see if you wanted to spar. But you look tired so…”

“No, no, I can spar. Just give me a minute to get changed.”

He gestures for her to step inside and she lets the door click closed behind her. His quarters are warm and stuffy and Ahsoka once again finds herself resenting the desert planet he was born on. Ahsoka liked warmth, but having the heater on this high was a tad ridiculous.

“I don’t know how you stand to have it so warm in here.”

“It’s a reasonable temperature,” Anakin says defensively, rifling around in his dresser drawers.

“It’s a reasonable temperature for lizards,” Ahsoka says unimpressed.

She takes a moment to step toward him and give him a closer look. “Are humans supposed to be this pale?”

“I’m not pale,” Anakin says. “Maybe it’s the lighting.”

“The lighting is fine,” Ahsoka says. “But you aren’t.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Anakin says with a conviction so strong Ahsoka would have believed him had he not stumbled forward as he said it. He manages to catch himself and stay upright, but Ahsoka isn’t fooled.

“Are you sure you didn’t pick something up from that refugee camp?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Anakin says. “We’re not as susceptible to contagious diseases, you know that.”

“Not as susceptible, but not immune either,” Ahsoka replies nervously.

It is true that a side-effect of Force sensitivity is heightened stamina and a higher immunity against illness, but that does not mean Jedi are invincible.

Anakin stumbles forward again. This time he puts a hand on the wall to steady himself.

“Master?” Ahsoka asks with concern.

“I’m fine. I’m fine… just a little dizzy,” Anakin says just before sliding down the wall to the floor.

“Anakin!”

Ahsoka rushes forward and grabs his shoulders before his head can hit the ground. “Master?”

“Ahsoka, I’m—”

“Stop saying you’re fine, you’re clearly not fine,” Ahsoka says, a frantic edge creeping into her voice.

“I’m dizzy,” Anakin mumbles. “Was gonna say I’m dizzy.”

This confirmation doesn’t make Ahsoka feel better. She presses her hand to his forehead and winces.

“I don’t think humans are supposed to get this hot,” she says. “I think you did catch something from that camp.”

“It’s okay,” he says softly, his eyes closing. “Just gonna sleep it off.”

“Master…”

“I’ll be fine in the morning,” Anakin insisted. “Just… just need to sleep.”

Anakin’s eyes close right there on the floor. Ahsoka groans. She does not want to drag him all the way to his bed or to the medbay.

“Promise not to get mad,” Ahsoka says as she pulls out her comm.

---

The steady beeping from the heartrate monitor is as comforting as it is annoying. Ahsoka has been listening to it’s rhythmic chimes for hours now, so when the pace changes just slightly Ahsoka shoots up in her seat.

“Master?” Ahsoka asks hopefully.

Anakin groans, his eyes open just a sliver and Ahsoka puts herself in his line of sight.

“Snips?” he asks softly.

“Hey Skyguy. How are you feeling?” Ahsoka asks.

“I feel alright. I told you I just needed to sleep it off.”

“Anakin, you were asleep for 26 hours.”

Anakin’s eyes widen. “Twenty-six?”

“Yeah,” Ahsoka says bitterly. “Twenty-six. And no you did not just ‘sleep it off.’ Kix had to put you on an IV. You were lucky we still had some medicine after we gave so much of it to that refugee camp.”

Anakin shrinks back from her ire, but Ahsoka doesn’t have it in her to feel guilty.

“I’m sorry, Snips, I didn’t realize it was—”

“Oh you didn’t realize it was that bad? You passed out in your room and I had to get Kix to send some clones to come and carry you here.”

Anakin looks around like he’s just noticing that he’s not in his quarters.

“Ahsoka, I’m sorry, but you need—”

“If you’re about to tell me to calm down, you can save it.”

“Ahsoka,” Anakin says softly. “Talk to me. What’s going on? I’ve been hurt much worse than this before. Why are you so angry with me now?”

Ahsoka huffs and crosses her arms. She looks away from Anakin.

“Ahsoka,” Anakin says, his voice turning more commanding. “Please tell me.”

Ahsoka sits down on Anakin’s bed, but doesn’t look at him. “At the… at the camp. All those people… they were dying and so many of them were dead and I saw you collapse and you wouldn’t respond to me and I was just…”

“You were scared,” Anakin finishes.

Ahsoka keeps her gaze firmly fixed on the floor.

“It’s alright to be scared, Ahsoka. You just can’t let it control you.”

“I know,” Ahsoka sighs. “But I still don’t like it.”

“I know. I don’t like it either,” Anakin says.

They sit in silence together, tension still hanging in the air.

“You look exhausted,” Anakin says, breaking the still quiet.

“I’ve been here,” Ahsoka says.

“Come on,” Anakin says, gesturing for her to come lay down with him. “Let’s both get some rest.”

Ahsoka offers him a smile and climbs into the small medical bed. Anakin lifts the blankets and she slides in next to him, laying her head on his chest.

“Master?” she asks after getting settled in.

“Yeah, Snips?”

“Don’t do that again.”

Anakin laughs and the deep rumble of it in his chest reverberates through her montrals.

“I’ll do my best, Padawan.”

[babylulururu]

I read through the anniversary card and the Flower MR. Thoughts will be below the cut due to spoilers.

alright now that i've scared those off who don't want to listen to me ramble about him, let's dive into it.

so, story one. artem's once again using the internet for love advice. this poor man can't catch a break. he asks his poor mom for help. we learn about the cute little tree that artem planted as a kid, as well as baby artem voice lines. honestly it's really sweet seeing artem interact with his mom, especially given the fact that it's always brought up that neither of his parents were really around when he was a kid. it's nice to see his relationship with his mom.

wonder if the man's got daddy issues? he's rarely brought up and there's no official sprite of him yet, so maybe?

joking aside, it was really sweet.

story two. artem drives out to see the tree he planted. tree is blossoming, only artem's poor love luck follows him around and dictates he cannot get beans from this tree. thankfully, the sweet old man has some beans from the year that artem and rosa met. we learn that rosa's handling a really big case on her own, good for her! i feel we don't see a lot of what's going with rosa's career simply because this is a dating game. dating first, attorney things second. main story is where most attorney things go on and honestly half the time i forget what's going on there.

anyways, artem's really proud of rosa for being able to do something like this by herself! it's really sweet how supportive he is of her. i like how rosa sends artem cute stickers in text. it shows how comfortable she is around him now compared to earlier in the story.

overall, really sweet story.

story three. oh boy, story three. the amusement park.

so up until this point, we've been seeing everything from artem's point of view. we know exactly how nervous he is for this confession. we know what he's done to prepare for it. yet at this point, rosa hasn't shown up in person once, so we have no idea what's going through her mind.

until we find out she saved her client's reputation but didn't get the compensation she wanted and she's crushed over this. she feels like a failure and doesn't feel worthy to be liked by artem. i think at one point she even states that it should be artem that should be thinking over his feelings for her, and not herself. i think this shows that rosa is self-conscious about herself. she doesn't feel worthy. as someone with fluctuating self-esteem i can easily relate to how she feels in this situation. you try so hard, yet you still fail.

and what's worse is that after artem gets her ice cream (which somehow doesn't miraculously fall on the sidewalk), she keeps getting lost in the plant maze game and is feeling even worse. however, artem sticks with her and says that he probably wouldn't have finished the game without her. i think it's really sweet that he's willing to be there for her even during a silly amusement park game. it shows his devotion for always wanting to be by her side, no matter what. while they don't win anything too special, the two of them are happy that they made it out together.

they also get two matching keychains and i will forever headcanon as them both getting HOMU keychains, you cannot and will not stop me.

and so that leads us to artem taking rosa to a relatively secluded area of the park by a fountain with very little people around. i can't remember if rosa comments on the fountain show or if it's the narrator that does, but there's a fountain show with nobody watching. except these two rocks.

artem says he's got something to say. instead of just cutting to the chase and saying i love you, he instead says that rosa shouldn't be focusing on growing up. i think at this moment, he needed to say that first, because she's basically always comparing herself to him and that she will never catch up with him. but artem's telling her that no, she doesn't need to. she can take her time and just be herself. he goes on to tell her about how she's changed his perspective on how he handles some cases, the big two examples being from personal stories one and two. i think cloudbreak temple gets mentioned in there at some point but the actual confession is kinda foggy to me cause i almost felt like crying while reading it.

so, how does rosa respond? does she say something like how she isn't worthy? does she accept it and profess her love to him right then and there?

nah, she says nothing and just basically pulls him into a kiss. i am actually surprised about how in detail the game gets about this kiss. the game actually goes on to say that artem's bold when he does this.

and then some people look at these two basically making out in front of a fountain and suddenly rosa gets really embarrassed about it. i mean understandable, back when i was dating someone i rarely did kiss them in public. i too would feel embarrassed.

but mister wing over here is like don't worry about them, focus on me. and then they kiss again. the audacity of these two. these two have been rocks for over a year, not understanding the other's feelings, and then they have the idea to casually make out in front of a fountain. what the fuck.

guess i need to pick up the revisiting youth card whenever it runs on global because i need to know more of post-anniversary artem and rosa holy moley. marius don't come home for me okay?

then at the end, artem gives her his gift. it's a really beautiful necklace. i am not one for jewelry, but i would totally wear that thing everywhere i go if i had one of those like that. he also tells her not to eat the beans, which is understandable; the beans are toxic do not eat them rosa. though i think she's smart enough not to do that. at the end, i can't remember which one of them mentioned it, but they talk about being lovesick, and that if love is a sickness, they would rather be sick together with each other.

and that's that. i really enjoyed the card! it's really sweet; too bad artem's top up is set before their relationship begins. vyn and marius get to have theirs after, lucky butts.

oh and the mr card!

i think the eyelash thing is really sweet. thanks mister wing for helping out! eyelashes getting in your eye is so annoying.

the second one. can we talk about it? this man literally drags rosa out of bed. he calls her a child. it's so funny.

then he gives her a kiss and convinces her to get out of bed. it's so adorable. this man is over the moon for rosa.

so that is my thoughts on everything! i covered personal story four in another post, if you want to read that one, here's the link for it.

i can never get enough of these two. i am extremely curious where they're gonna take their relationship from here.

now time to sit through the pain of raising the other guys' affection levels to twenty-five so i can read their personal story fours and then read their anniversary cards because i got all four of them and now i am making myself suffer!

[softer-ua]

yeah honestly i can never recall a time where deku came out of a situation the loser, even when he loses physically he usually reaches his goal/has the moral high ground. for example all might himself says this with the "deku looked up to katsuki's power and determination (positive) vs katsuki feared deku's spirit (negative)" line. like it's obvious who the one who needs more improvement is. i can count very few times where he ultimately did the wrong thing.

and i mean a character like him is hard to develop, because his whole schtick is that he possessed heroic spirit but not the power to back it up. he starts the series with all the character traits he needs to have, because that's the reason all might picked him in the first place.

and i understand that eventually his self destructive tendencies will be addressed, but it's a flaw (one of the few sometimes painted as such) that's been with him since the very beginning, and three hundred chapters later a poor job has been done of addressing it imo, because it hasn't been addressed at all.

if anything the series keeps sending mixed signals, because it's always like "hooo no break bones little green boi bones breaky bad" but then every time he does break his bones it ends with him the winner. the closest he comes to a repercussion is when he's a dead weight at the camp, but even then he takes down muscular solo, and he couldn't have just run away with kouta, since that would mean a wild murder happy muscular running around. what else could he have done there? and the doctors are like "if you keep breaking your arms they will literally become unusable confetti" but instead of having him stop doing that, the series finds ways to bypass the repercussions, like oh look here, convenient overpowered time girl who will rewind you just enough to undo ur self-harm in an instant! it's like the narrative keeps telling deku, self harm is the answer!! and even after kacchan says 'don't be fucking dumb' the vestiges still go 'yes boy self harm is the answer!!" and AM feeds into that too by virtue of existing, since that dude's whole deal was self-depravation in the name of greater good.

and ive said all this, and you're 300 chapters into a series and you've got an mc whose outlook has changed in a pretty tiny way outside of gaining confidence, whose flaws have not been addressed because the series isn't sure if the flaws are actually virtues and isn't sure if willingness to self-harm in order to win is a heroic trait or not.

but then, you could say that this is actually a genius character arc, because this self-destruction will only take you so far, and with izuku winning everything,his mind has just grown convinced that "self harm and self-sacrifice is the answer!!!" until well, it isn't. sure he dealt with the small fries through it, but it's not sustainable, and it's how at least two of his predecessors died/retired.

PLW was the first instance of deku seeing that his bogus self-harm doesn't always end well. he was doing a poor job of collaborating with everyone else there, and katsuki had to literally almost die to keep him from dying due to recklessness. for the first time in forever, his mentality made him not just a dead-weight, but a danger teammates need to sacrifice themselves to cover for.

and im like 🤯 because it took 300 chapters but we've just watched OFA all might's ideologically slowly dismantled for how toxic it is and i have no idea what im even saying anymore.

the point is, izuku is a dear character to me and the perfect mc for the series,but his arc leaves me conflicted because i cannot decide if it's genius or nearly non-existent and it drives me crazy

You’re 100% right

I think Dekus character arc problem is that Hori lets his characters develop in a pretty organic way

Most (if not all) the other characters are pressured into changing because their problems get in the way of their goals, aren’t sustainable, and are condemned by society

So they get addressed because the only way around them is through

Meanwhile Deku “fuck the natural order” Midoriya’s-

-main character flaw’s only true obstacle is that it isn’t sustainable, but because the flaw is self sacrifice sustainability isn’t a top concern for him, getting to the next fight would be cool but saving people here and now is what matters

He keeps achieving his goals through this manner, so unless his goals change this isn’t an obstacle

Society praises this behavior until the lack of sustainability catches up and the hero is no longer useful

So as of now the only way he could be forced to confront this flaw is if the sustainability runs out, then everyone’s fucked and we all drown in our tears

But if something or someone forced him to reconsider his goals just a twinge, forced him to care about something other than just saving/winning, made him want to be a little selfish and a lot more self preserving, made him value what he could get from life instead of just what he could give to it

Well than his flaw would suddenly be a very big obstacle to his goals, if his self sacrificing was hurting someone close to him societal values would from on it a little more. If Deku wanted something off the battlefield as badly as he did on it he’d have a new obstacle

And Bakugo was getting dangerously close,

So Deku left.

[pompompurin1028]

Oh my God!! I had never thought of it that way, that’s awesome! Good catch, Kat :o

That is so true, we read Yozo’s life and deeds completely through his own eyes therefore we can’t treat it as an objective narrative. When this is combined with all the analyses you made yesterday, it’s all coming together and this is the best feeling ever, when I first read your response I went crazy with euphoria😭

And exactly! We can definitely distinguish these two narratives -Yozo’s and the woman’s- in the last scene under the sunset. Dazai, for some reason, always denies his good intentions and is “blinded to his better side” as you said and I totally adore this way of putting it. I really hope Atsushi will be able to bring him back to reality😔

I mean, of course he’s not the most snow white person out there, he still has really gray morals, but isn’t this already an incredible step considering that he was born in pitch black? He needs to see how much he’s achieved since then, but he still feels guilty and this totally blocks the good parts of his journey in his mind, which is probably why he always has that façade to keep him from breaking down. Just like how Yozo had this façade of “clowning” even though he was feeling empty inside all while entertaining people and seeming so cheerful. This clowning thing was a really beautiful parallelism between BSD Dazai and Yozo.

Exactly😭 For someone as traumatised as Atsushi, that poor cinnamon roll is really so precious with his amount of trust and kindness🥺 And yeah… There’s no way I would be able to 100% restore my trust for him -if I had it in the first place, of course, you never know with Dazai😂-, I would question constantly if he’s planning new things with several villains “for the sake of the city”, and this is just what Atsushi says, he denies this as well like what- then why😭 He owes a really good explanation to the ADA, tbh. I hope they treat this subject in S3 or I’ll get really mad if he just gets away with it as if people didn’t die because of his shenanigans😤

And oh my God! I never knew that! This is really intriguing, I’m totally on Dazai-sensei’s side on this matter, Run, Melos! will be so interesting to read :o And as always, I’d love to read your analysis on it😌

And that’s so true😞 His plans are always so complex and detailed that if the littlest thing goes wrong, it would all be over, I mean, trusting that Chuuya punches him in the face or he’ll die?? He’s really walking on thin ice there haha. Which, of course, comes with great stress. And omg I LOVED THAT ANALYSIS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING💕 I reblogged it privately to come back to it whenever I start having doubts or feeling bad about Dazai which happened way too often even before Dead Apple, I just couldn’t keep a healthy relationship with him like I do with Kunikida I have no idea why this will really be a useful thing to come back to 💫 It pains me to see that how much he suffers in reality yet he’s not even able to acknowledge that it’s not his fault😞 (you can gimme all your analyses don’t be shy👀)

I’m planning on reading this one, it has several chapters and they all seem really explanatory. (I hope linking system works in asks🤔)

Exactly, I honestly used to miss all these about Akutagawa and just overlook him, consider him as a mere invincible rabid dog with an unhealthy obsession, whose ability is just to murder. But that’s not true at all, he’s more than his ability. To be honest, I think this movie made this sentence valid for everyone, especially if the ability is too strong, one always tends to consider them as their ability and nothing else, but that’s not true, their abilities are a part of them but they don’t assure their existence. Each one of them is more than their ability and I loved seeing that, I even felt sad when Aku regained his Rashōmon😭

Haha, always!!❤️ Never hesitate to share anything about any theory/headcanon you have, I love discussing them🥰

These asks and responses are getting longer and longer but I’m not complaining😂

Thank you so much!🥺 That makes me really happy that you said that!

And yes exactly! We have to make note that the novel is written in an I-novel narrative, and like all first person perspectives, they are unreliable. And "crazy with euphoria", that makes me so happy to hear😭💕

But yes, we can clearly see the distinct difference between how Yozo sees himself, vs how the woman sees him. (Side note: And one of the reasons why I love this book despite its dark themes and narratives, is that it talks about the goodness of humanity that still exists in even the worst people. Dazai-sensei's narration of Yozo is written in a way that almost makes us hate him. But we have to always be reminded that despite this, there are goodness, even in people like Yozo, which I felt is an amazing reminder) And his own blindness to his better side is obviously self-destructive, as seen in the novel, and I believe that if Dazai continues to see this way, he will not be able to heal despite following what Oda wants him to do. No, he first has to face his past, and as you said he has to recognize how far he has come, even though he is still learning, he is still changing. Like all other characters in Dead Apple, Dazai is also facing his past, or more so an introduction to having to face his past, as I believe that Atsushi had also said that he hopes that Dazai can put his past behind him or something similar to that. And I personally feel that Dazai would have a happy ending because unlike in the novel, he has someone (Atsushi) to remind him of his goodness, the fact that he can go beyond what he is in the past. I just love Dead Apple so much😭

And the clowning part breaks my heart too... In addition to being a facade to stop others from seeing how empty he is inside, which would deviate himself from being "human". It gives me a saddening understanding that Dazai is keeping everyone at a distance. Although he wants others to understand him, and his whole existence is basically a cry for help, he fears being hurt, or at least that's what I believe how Yozo thinks. And it should be noted that the act of clowning, can also be seen in The Setting Sun as well, which he once again uses a mask to attempt to blend into society, yet knowing that he'll still be different from the rest of them

Also one thing I also realized as I am writing this is how Dazai-sensei intentionally in a sense villanizes himself (as it is semi-biographical) as well as Yozo in No Longer Human, and I can't help but wonder if this is another parallel to Dead Apple?🤔

But unfortunately, the consequences of him making that meticulous plan which endangered everyone will not be resolved, as it should be noted that this is a sort of spinoff from the main storyline. But in a sense I like the ending it gave us, as it allows open interpretation. And I feel that it also might symbolize the fact that all the main characters in the movie are still growing, are still learning and are continuing on their paths to face their pasts... And what I think is also quite important to note that is there's also a sense of trust Dazai gives to the people involved in his plans, he trusts them to make that exact move to make his plan whole. And also, what also makes me sad is that Dazai seems to be asking for forgiveness for what he did during dead apple, at least that's what it sounds like to me as he said: "Atsushi what I did earlier-"

And I totally agree that it is impossible to restore full trust back to Dazai. That itself is impossible, for it is a disillusionment, it is a stage you cannot go back to. But and I agree with Dazai-sensei, I believe that this could help Dazai see the better parts of humanity like when he said to Oda, that the good side is really more beautiful.

And I'm so glad to know that you want to save it🥺 It can definitely be hard to see Dazai's good side at times, he is quite confusing and is easily misunderstood ngl. But sometimes I think he intentionally does that so no one can see through his true intentions, to keep himself at a distance, while at the same time wanting others to see through him, to help him😔

And oo thank you for the analysis! I'll definitely have to read it soon☺ Also if you have any analysis that you'd like to discuss or want me to know, feel free to drop them in my ask box as well!

And yes exactly! That about Aku is so beautifully said.

And honestly I'm not complaining either haha. These have been quite fun🥰

[dadgonedeku]

How they play ‘Among Us’: The Bakusquad

💥~How I think these beautiful babies would play ‘Among Us’!!! (just my personal opinions!)

🥊~SFW Hcs, happy reading!

Katsuki Bakugou💥

💥~ Honestly it takes a lot of convincing to get him to play...

💥~ But once he does-

💥~ ALL BETS ARE OFF-

💥~ He’s addicted by his second game, and his determination only increases each round.

💥~ Memorizes the map and all of the vent paths by like...his 10th game-

💥~ This man NEVER fails to complete every single task!! And if he’s the imposter he always wins, there’s no catching him.

💥~ Seriously he’s just too good-

💥~ He always kills Kiri last when he’s the imposter though- (and he kills either Kami or Sero first)

💥~ Always accuses other players and makes up rlly clever stories.

💥~ Calls most of the emergency meetings when he’s a crewmate, always figures out who the imposter is without any assistance.

💥~ You just can’t win- he’s too good- too powerful-

💥~ He either plays as black or orange, and no he doesn’t wear a hat or anything, he likes the normal avatar just fine.

💥~ His favorite tasks are probably the ones in weapons or navigation.

💥~ His name is always ‘King Explodo Murder’ or something similar...

💥~ Sometimes he bullies the others into playing with him and he’ll host private games.

💥~ His settings are always with 1 imposter though, because if it’s him he doesn’t want any chance of someone else fucking it up. The definition of ‘if you want it done right then do it yourself’

💥~ He’s fun to play with, his facial expressions when he’s concentrating are very amusing!

💥~ One time the squad pranked him and voted him out once...let’s just say he didn’t take it that well-

Eijirou Kirishima🥊

🥊~ He’s such a good sport-

🥊~ But also very dramatic if he ever reports a body or calls an emergency meeting.

🥊~ So encouraging to everyone else if they’re having a hard time. He’ll totally teach anyone how to play too!! He taught Mina when she first played.

🥊~ Tbh he’s probably the first out the squad who starts playing!

🥊~ He claims the color red and either wears the party hat or the goggles!

🥊~ He probs buys a pet too let’s be honest-

🥊~ Tries his best to complete his tasks, but it takes him a while to get used to where everything is.

🥊~ He really likes the admin & weapons tasks!! He enjoys destroying all of the asteroids!

🥊~ His name is probably something like ‘Red Riot!!’ Or ‘The Manliest’

🥊~ He gets so bummed when he loses, but he always picks himself back up and plays again! You can’t ever break his spirit he’s so precious!!

🥊~ Honestly a pretty good imposter.

🥊~ He knows some simple yet effective strategies and he’s even won once or twice!

🥊~ Him and Kaminari are the ones that convinced Bakugou to play you can’t change my mind-

🥊~ Him and Bakugou play together when they aren’t playing with the squad, and Bakugou even teaches him what he knows and gives him tips!!

Denki Kaminari⚡️

⚡️~ He ummm...

⚡️~ He’s very enthusiastic-

⚡️~ Poor baby kinda struggles though...

⚡️~ He’s always confused in some way, shape, or form-

⚡️~ He can’t find a balance between investigating and completing tasks...

⚡️~ And he never remembers where anything is-

⚡️~ He always asks Kirishima or Jirou for help.

⚡️~ His favorite tasks are of course the electrical ones! That and the garbage ones, he likes seeing all of the leaves disappear!

⚡️~ Of course plays as yellow, and he wears a party hat and probably has a dog or something too!

⚡️~ He doesn’t get to play imposter that much, but when he does he always gets caught early on (poor thing can’t strategize to save his life-)

⚡️~ And just...bless his soul whenever Bakugou is playing...

⚡️~ He can’t catch a break! 😭

⚡️~ Has been wrongfully accused on more than one occasion...

⚡️~ He definitely changes his name to another color to screw with everyone-

⚡️~ If it’s not another color his name is probably either his hero name or an inside joke reference.

⚡️~ Most likely has the most game play hours out of everyone else in the squad tbh.

⚡️~ He’s so precious when he plays, he just loves spending time with his friends and he doesn’t really care if he wins or loses!

Hanta Sero🧃

🧃~ Honestly a pretty good player!!

🧃~ It’s surprising how good he is! He’s definitely looked up the best strategies though.

🧃~ His favorite tasks are probably the ones that require you to download files, scan your card, etc.

🧃~ He always plays as white or maybe brown or blue, depends on his mood.

🧃~ Wears the goggles as a hat and sometimes he’ll even dress up his character!

🧃~ His name is probably his hero name or just his real name, he doesn’t put that much thought into it.

🧃~ His private settings are soooo wack-

🧃~ This man has everyone at top speed with long tasks, etc.

🧃~ Never ever play in his private games!!

🧃~ Also a pretty good impostor, and honestly a good crewmate too! He’s figured out the imposter multiple times very quickly!

🧃~ Somehow always finds the dead bodies-

🧃~ He gets discouraged if he votes wrong, he does that to Mina a lot and he buys her snacks to make up for it!

🧃~ He’s a better crewmate than he is imposter, he doesn’t really like killing other players off as much as he does figuring out who it is and completing tasks.

🧃~ Never calls emergency meetings, he just reports the bodies.

Mina Ashido💝

💝~ She is a GOD at ‘Among Us’!!!

💝~ Her and Bakugou are rivals, both are really good and they always complete their tasks!

💝~ One of the best imposters ever!!! She’s a master at catching players alone and diving through vents!

💝~ She’ll call false meetings and accuse other players like the queen she is.

💝~ Wins a lot as both imposter and crewmate!!

💝~ Her favorite tasks are probably admin and fuel ones!

💝~ Always plays as pink and has her character fully decked out with stuff!

💝~ Her name is either ‘Pinky’ or ‘Alien Queen’ change. my. mind.

💝~ Her private settings are really fun and she hosts most of the private games for the squad!

💝~ Surprisingly a really good liar-

💝~ She blasts music whenever she plays because she doesn’t really like the sound effects. Jamming out also helps her get in her groove!

💝~ Plays either once/twice or hours at a time, there’s no in between.

💝~ Always finds a way to start bickering with Bakugou. Kirishima has definitely had to dissolve a few arguments between them!

💝~ If she’s ever falsely accused and voted out she’ll guilt trip everyone else to no end!!

💝~ Such a good strategist! And she teaches most of her classmates how to play!!

💝~ She taught Jirou and Kaminari change my mind-

Bonus: Kyoka Jirou!🎧

🎧~ Not the best but she’s pretty good at it!! She doesn’t play that often though!

🎧~ Her go to color is either black or purple, and her name is probably just her name or the name of her favorite song.

🎧~ Sometimes she’ll dress up her character but a lot of the time she just leaves it plain.

🎧~ Her favorite task is the memory one! It makes her feel smart every time she completes it!

🎧~ She’s a decent imposter but a better crewmate! She’d rather figure out who it is rather than stress about killing everyone else.

🎧~ Whenever she’s the imposter she always goes for Kaminari first- again you cannot change my mind.

🎧~ Also blasts music while playing, she loves to jam and have fun while she plays with friends!

🎧~ Her and Mina have definitely sabatoged the boys multiple times!! They make the perfect tag team and they love watching the boy’s reactions to losing!!

🎧~ She also finds dead bodies, she just reports them. She doesn’t call emergency meetings that much!

🎧~ She really likes the background music! She’s probably the only one out of the squad that pays attention to it.

🎧~ Her and Mina or Kaminari play together outside of the squad. Either her and Mina are pranking other random people or she’s trying to help Kaminari be a better imposter-

[sandoriyon-p]

selfish | carlos oliveira x reader [request]

Ah, yes, angst! Thank you so much, dear anon!... *grabby hands* Please, more, more of angst for my soul!

“How could you be this stupid?!”

“Yeah, yeah, you already asked that. It’s the fourth time now, stop repeating yourself.”

The sound of your arguing broke the silence in the underground the very moment you walked in. It wasn’t loud, but you had a feeling it was loud enough for people in the subway cars to hear it too. You wondered what they thought about such a situation - it didn’t take long to come with one, certainly a very right conclusion: they were very tired with the noise you two were making… and, honestly, so were you.

“Stop repeating myself? It’s not something I can stop talking about, not just like that! You nearly got yourself killed, Y/N!” You really wished Carlos would stop screaming right next to you - he made it so tempting to simply put your hands over your ears and ignore him.

At the same, you could see his hands gripping onto his gun harder than he should be, and yet, you said nothing to that. If he did that hard enough, maybe he would actually break it in half. And that would surely end “the discussion”.

In your shallow ignorance you tried to remember why Carlos was actually angry at you. Did you say something insulting? No, certainly not. Maybe you nearly shot him while aiming at a zombie? No, of course not. Your shooting skill was too sharp to make such a mistake.

What was it then?

Ah, you remembered, just in the same moment you heard a shout of your name.

You nearly got yourself killed, like Carlos said. Or maybe…?

The whole circumstance didn’t look that horrific. You two were supposed to leave the subway and clear the place around it from all undeads you could find. It sounded like a simple thing, but after a moment, you realized you could find a lot of supplies laying around too. Indeed, most of them were left next to zombies that, you were more than sure, were already taken care of.

Spotting the ammo for your gun, you swiftly moved to gather it. There was a zombie behind it, but that didn't concern you much. Still, you decided to use your knife first to see if it wouldn’t try to “wake up” suddenly. Three slashes met with no response; it was safe to make your move.

Yet, when you crouched down to take what you wanted, the changed civilian grabbed onto your leg suddenly. His teeth became visible, ready to drown into your skin, but you were faster. With a sharp tug, you quickly stepped back and put as many bullets as you had left in its head. 

Then… actually, no. You didn’t, in fact, get yourself killed. You just nearly got yourself bitten by a zombie.

What you did was stupid, yes, but you couldn’t leave the supplies behind, especially now, during a freaking apocalypse. At the same, even when you nearly got yourself bitten, you knew you had the whole situation completely under control. You were not a civilian anyway - you knew how to use a gun and protect yourself. You knew to be always aware of your surroundings, ready to jump into the action or escape a dangerous situation.

Carlos was exaggerating things, to put it simply - that was what you thought.

Yet, that didn’t annoy you (perhaps from his perspective the whole situation looked… much worse) - the fact that he didn’t want to stop talking about it was what made you annoyed.

You could hear him still speaking about your stupid action, how dangerous it was and how fatal it could end. His voice was too loud, it made your head throb.

You just wanted for him to stop pointing out your mistakes. For him to finally shut up.

Suddenly, you turned your whole body towards Carlos’ direction, making him stop in his tracks, “Listen, I know how dangerous it was, but should I really leave the supplies behind just like that? We’re in the middle of the apocalypse and you cannot rely forever on Umbrella to provide us stuff!”

The anger was written clearly on your face and Carlos saw it. Yet, that didn’t stop him from responding, with his voice loud and annoyed as yours, “You think that’s a good reason to get yourself into danger? No, it’s not! And you don’t even think how other people would react to such stupid acts of bravery!”

“I do it, all the time! I think about the others - I want to save them! But how in the world can I do that if I don’t have anything to protect them with?!”

The grip on his weapon became harder and harder - obviously he was trying to not the anger control him. So far, you had to say, he was doing a very poor job.

You wanted to use the moment of sudden silence to speak what you still had in mind, hoping it would finally end the discussion. However, Carlos was faster than you.

“Alright then, Y/N, go! Go outside and get yourself killed while gathering unnecessary supplies to protect the civilians! Be as selfish as you want to be!”

You heard him, clearer than everything else. His words made your blood freeze.

Enough was enough.

You wanted to say so many things, to explain yourself, to remind him you were a professional. However, you limited yourself with biting your lips, until they would bleed.

No words left you and, at the same time, you noticed a change in Carlos expression. It looked like… he regretted what he had said. You could see that in his next action as well, in how he suddenly stopped gripping onto his weapon and tried to approach you gently.

You wanted nothing of that. You just wanted to be alone. Far from him.

Remaining speechless, you firmly shook your head and turned around to walk further into the subway. Your tempo was fast, nearly resembling a run, but no matter how fast you were moving, you couldn’t escape Carlos and his calling for you to not go away, not now.

His earlier words, however, about your selfishness, about how you should just go out and get yourself killed, for real that time, were louder than your name on his lips.

Nobody asked a thing when you stepped into one of the subway cars. All of them seemed to act like they were very interested in something… something else than your and Carlos’ argument. Yet, you could still feel their curious stares on you. They probably thought that the fight was too serious to let your relationship survive.

To hell with them. They could think what they wanted and you wouldn’t give a damn.

The anger started to become weaker and weaker as you found an empty spot in the farthest part of the subway cart. You were alone and could finally gather your thoughts… to look at everything from Carlos’ perspective.

You knew he was… concerned about you. Maybe more than he should be.

Your relationship was still “fresh”, barely three months old. You were good friends first, sharing jokes during the hardest times or embraces during your “friendly dates”. 

But then, you both realized it wasn’t enough. You wanted to be together. To love each other, not just to like each other.

And God, you loved each other so much. That was more than certain. You always made sure to protect each other, to make sure the other would not end wounded. You were always… so protective of each other.

Protective and afraid that something awful would happen.

You and Carlos felt the constant fear - no matter what, it was always there. Waiting, to wake up in the worst moments. It invaded your dreams, making you see the situations where your lover would die, again and again, and you couldn’t do anything to stop that.

You and Carlos never wanted for those dreams to turn into reality. You tried really hard to never let those dreams turn into reality.

But that was nearly what you did. You nearly got yourself killed - because you forgot about the nightmares.

You were selfish and you let yourself forget about them. Forget about Carlos and his own fear. You were selfish because you put yourself under civilians and above your boyfriend. Above his own fears and nightmares.

Tears were falling down your cheeks, but you failed to notice them. 

Until someone, with a gentle touch, wiped them away.

Carlos was suddenly sitting next to you, leaning forward to catch a look at you while not invading your personal space. He held a soft smile, the softest you had ever seen on him, with his own eyes holding tears.

For a long moment, you two didn’t say anything. You simply sat in silence, looking at each other, trying to understand what the hearts could not say. It was comfortable, peaceful… loving.

Still without words, Carlos’ eyes fell on your hand. You could feel his hesitation as he moved his own hand towards yours, taking it gently. His fingers started to caress your skin slowly as his lips alternately fell open and became closed, again and again. It was obvious he was fighting with himself, looking for the right words to tell you. And you remained silent, waiting patiently for what he had to say.

Finally, Carlos took a long breath and looked into your eyes again, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I… shouldn’t have said all those things.” You knew it - you could see it in his expression. Yet, you still said nothing and he took that as a sign to continue, “I really shouldn’t have. And, of course, I didn’t mean those words - I don’t want you to go there, to risk your life like that. I don’t want you to die.”

You could see the tears in his eyes more clearly. They threatened to fall down his cheeks - they were actually falling down his cheeks, you realized. Yet, Carlos did nothing to wipe them away. He kept looking into your eyes, his voice so soft, so quiet, “I was scared. It was like my nightmare was so close to turn into reality. I saw you, getting bitten.” More tears started to fall down - they could be heard in his voice too, “I saw myself, killing you to not let you get transformed into it.”

A mere thought about it made you shudder; you knew Carlos noticed that. You knew he wanted to gather you into his arms to comfort you. To protect you from the nightmare that threatened to appear again.

And you let him do that.

The embrace was tight and yet no words of complaining left your lips. Instead, you hushed the man you loved, your hands resting on his back as his rested on your waist. Once again, you simply sat like that, in silence, comforting each other.

“That will never happen and you know it.” The words left your lips, softly, barely there, and they made Carlos embrace you even harder, “The nightmares we have will never turn into reality.”

You knew that he didn’t believe you, not completely. That it wouldn’t stop the tears from leaving your and his eyes. That you probably just wanted to comfort yourself and him, hoping it would keep the fear away.

But it was pointless, so, after a long moment, you let yourself capture his cheeks in your hands.

“I just need to remember the man who cares about me, who loves me, who wants for me to be safe. The man who I need to place above me as well.” And when his eyes found yours again, you smiled widely and added: “I’ll continue to be selfish, but I will not let his nightmares turn into reality.”

[elles-writing]

Once there was a hobbit and on a normal warm day, a perfect day for smoking a pipe, came the gray wizard at the hobbit‘s doorstep with a weirdly clothed human who looked as if she saw a ghost... - part II

A/N: Collab with @soradragon , part two!! This was meant to be in part one, but we were talking only about scene with meeting Bilbo and Gandalf, so I didn’t knew if I should leave it or put to part two...so, anyways, here it is. I’ll add link for hers headcanon as well once it’s out, so go support her!!!

Okay, so continuation!! Thank you so much for all the notes, you guys are amazing! ♥ Part one is here, if you haven’t red already.♥

Situation: Dinner with dwarves, meeting dwarves

 He gives me some of his clothes so I can change

 It looks weird on me, because I have breasts and butt and I’m taller, but it is not that bad

Actually, it’s really comfortable, but oh so fking short!

 So I just change back, because I like my comfy clothes

 Bilbo seems a bit flustrated with wizard’s plans

But he is probably secretly happy I won’t eat everything out

 He shows me around his house a bit

Which is btw super cozy and I snuggle on one couch and probably fall asleep.

Bilbo’s happy I won’t break anything and leaves me a note that he left for a market.

So I’m just reading some book while waiting for him to come back and incredibly nervous for the evening

So, once the dinner is on the table, I can hear the bell a few seconds before it actually rings.

Bilbo jumps off and goes to open the door.

And I decide to halfway hide somewhere, cuz Dwalin is scaring me.

And I made a right decision, cuz I’d fainted from fear

But once there is Balin, he notices me

And I’m like „Oh shit, oh holy fuck they’ve seen me!“

He wants to ask me who I am, but I just stare at him and nervously say „I-I am, eh, ya kn-ow...“, because I am talking to a dwarf, like...whaaat?!

Bilbo saves me by telling him that I’m Gandalf’s guest

 At least, they went to pantry and leave me alone.

 And then the bell starts to ring again and I jump up, because of Fili and Kili.

I open the door instead of Bilbo.

And they look surprised, but still, „Fili and Kili, at your service!“ comes out of them.

„Where’s Master Baggins?“ „You doesn’t exactely seem like a hobbit“ They continue the sentences for each other and I look to the right where Bilbo is flustrated with the two dwarves in his pantry.

 „I, eh, you know...I-am just...well, Gandalf...“ I’m letting them in and trying to sound as casual as I can.

 It surprises me they’re almost as tall as me. (I’m 5′3ft, which is 163 cm)

 THEN Bilbo comes.

And Kili asks „So, you two are married, or-?“

I look at him terrified and Fili doesn’t really help, but also stares at me.

I’m blushing and wishing they won’t notice.

„No no no, we met today!“ I get out of me. Kili giving me his cheeky smile and Fili asking what am I wearing.

I just sigh and quickly explain.

Well, let’s just say, they won’t stop with questions about my home.

It starts to get annoying, because Kili’s flirting and I am...well, I sometimes don’t really know when some guy is flirting with me, so then it becomes more and more awkvard

They ask about my family.

So I tell them of my three brothers (two older, one younger).

So both of them can talk with me about (annoying) younger and older siblings

But this time ends up quickly, cuz they have to help with the food.

And I don’t really know what to do.

So I just shrugg my shoulders and go to dinning room to help.

But Balin and Dwalin tells me that I’m a lass and I shouldn’t be helping them to pick up a table.

So I just take some chairs and that’s a moment when a bunch of other dwarves and Gandalf get in.

Poor Bilbo still doesn’t understand what they’re doing in his house.

So I just stand next to Gandalf and talk with him about what’s going to happen, when someone (surprisingly, the two young brothers) pull me away to sit down with them and Gandalf just chuckles.

So I just end up seated between the two of them and everyone’s asking me about the Earth this time

I feel uncomfortable and nervous because everyone is staring at me.

And each of them (Fili and Kili) puts his hand around my shoulder, which makes me feel even more nervous.

I’m basically screaming inside, cuz I’ve never met them before and I’m uncomfortable between a lot of strangers.

But the food is really good, so I try to keep my mouth as much shut (and full) as I can, explaining between we don’t speak with full mouth

Which dwarves obviously do

Nervously listening everyone’s chatter and sipping water.

Fili wants to tell me something, but Bombur catches that piece of food in his mouth so...his face is wet

I am apologazing, but he just laughs it off and I nervously smile.

Because I’m kinda awkvard between some people

And so Kili decides to take my attention somewhere away. And asking if I’ve ever drank an ale is pretty much the thing.

I tell him I am underage and that I am totally okay with water and tea

He doesn’t belives me.

So he tried to challenge me into drinking it.

Which I just nervously laugh.

„No, thank you for your offer, Master Dwarf, but I’m not in a mood for an ale.“

Kili seems that he’d love to challenge me further, but some of the others says

„Kili, don’t treat lady like this!“ And I am so freakin‘ thankful.

I am excited for the scene with flying plates tbh

Once it’s here, I am scrunched on some furniture with that book I’ve been reading sooner that day next to Gandalf to make sure nothing would hit me (and if flying my direction, that i’d be able to defend my head)

He’s something like a parent or grandparent honestly, you just know that you can feel safe with him

When the show is over (and my quiet trying-to-catch-the-lyrics singing too), there’s another loud knock on the door and I jump up a bit again.

Because there comes Thorin and I know that I’m, well, I’m screwed, because I cannot fight

Even though, if sarcasm or sass could be used as a weapon, I’d be probably quite safe if neccessary

Maybe part III?

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Black Survival characters cooking (requested by silentcrane)

Adela:she’d either enjoy the cooking process, or not want to waste any time cooking and rather ordering out. either way kind of a logical way to look at it

Adriana:you know when you’re frying something, and it’s a bit oily, and then suddenly your pan catches fire for a couple seconds? she’d love that shit, she’d adore the recipes where that’s a step. i imagine she likes stovetop cooking and not be as interested in stuff like baking too

Alex:cooks for himself in order to not get poisoned probably

Arda:seems like the type to order food instead of cooking, but enjoy cooking shows

Aya:pretty good at cooking, both for herself and others. though i’d imagine her job kept her busy enough to make her not cook as much

Barbara:seems like the type to not want to waste time cooking she could spend doing other things

Bernice:definitely had to cook for himself a lot

Camilo:tries to cook but gets too entranced by his reflection in the oven

Cathy:definitely has to cook for herself because.... poor. though i don’t think she gets experimental even if she probably kinda enjoys it, in her case i’d imagine she has smelled the beef and eaten the rice to save money too much to try anything elaborate

Chiara:on one hand, i cannot imagine her cooking. on the other. tender cooking sessions... if someone wrote emma and chiara cooking together i’d read it a thousand times because thatd be cute

Daniel:his perfectionist ass would definitely break down over forgetting to put in salt, prove me wrong

Echion:he’s definitely bent many spoons before, and i’m sure his solution to all non-cooperative food is heating up the knife before cutting it

Eleven:considering she 1-comes from a rich family and 2-runs a channel where she eats OTHER PEOPLE’s food, she is most likely a disaster in the kitchen who often messes up cracking an egg

Eva:probably enjoys baking, and 100% would use telekinesis to multitask

Emma:i’d like to think she can do food so long as she has a recipe but i think her situation’s like cathy overall

Fiora:considering her trauma, i think she wouldn’t enjoy cooking. at all

Hart:probably has a good hand with spices. idk why this highly specific skill is one i think she’d have but i think she definitely has it

Hyejin:probably has dropped MANY things before, and would keep everything in plastic containers with a very good lid. plus if she leaves the thing frying for a second to get water, it burns

Hyunwoo:canonly is pretty good at cooking because of his shit living situation. moving on

Isol:i cannot imagine where he’d find the time to learn to cook so i imagine he wouldn’t be very good at it, but i think if someone else helped him he’d do well since he’s the kind of guy to be good with instructions

Jackie:i can see her liking spicy dishes. ironic since she’s british and they’re not known for a diverse palate, i know, but-

Jan:he definitely feels like the type of guy who likes cooking. i think he’d cook his own meals, and give really good tips on how to cook

Jenny:i physically cannot imagine her wanting to cook, ngl. she may cook out of necessity though, and be extremely ironically just average at cooking

JP:also physically cannot imagine him wanting to cook except i can’t imagine him cooking ANYTHING at all too

Lenox:in canon cannot actually cook that well since xiukai is the one who has to fry her fishes usually. moving on

Leon:ever seen those adorable recipes where you make cat cupcakes... or hamster pancakes... he’d like that kinda thing

Li Dailin:probably knows how to cook out of necessity but i think she’d break a lot of things since she’s always drunk. folks often push her out of the kitchen out of agony

Luke:would cook for other people, i can definitely see him making food for the kids. ergo i think he’s pretty good at cooking

Magnus:too macho man to cook honestly

Mai:i feel like she’d enjoy decorating cakes and stuff like that. but i’m not sure if she’d be good at cooking herself

Nadine:she lived in a forest for most of her life, so i imagine she cooks well in “primitive” ways (so like. she’d do well at meat on the stick) but can struggle with stuff like pressure pots or ovens

Nathapon:he doesn’t live in a collective enough situation to not know how to cook. so i assume he can cook even if i don’t know how memory disorders work and whether he’d be able to still know, id est, how many eggs you put into a cake. eh he could just have a cooking book

Nicky:canonically too strong to not be kind of a disaster in the kitchen, so i presume she generally owns no glass things

Rio:cooks pretty slowly, but fairly well with little to no mess

Rozzi:has a skin where she cooks with chocolate, and i have a headcanon going that she enjoys baking sweet things. so.

Shoichi:most likely can cook as he has a daughter and is a single, not terrible dad

Silvia:too speedy and energetic to cook i think. too understimulating and too waiting-heavy

Sissela:a good 40% of cooking is solely using arm strength (mixing usually) so either she uses a blender and enjoys baking or doesn’t enjoy it much

Sua:definitely cooks for herself a lot, i can imagine her cooking while humming a song. plus there’s no way she doesn’t have recipe books

William:he definitely is the kind of guy to flip pancakes without a spatula, just moving the pan up to make it flip

Yuki:good at cooking, most likely, but nothing that special. can make his own meals, but not necessarily is the best one for the job

Zahir:i don’t think he’s had an opportunity to cook ngl. but i think he’d enjoy it overall

[jiminrings]

uu abt homebound au, what goes on with racer! hobi and jk?? i guess this is kinda a request? thanks ilysm :")

homebound: koo’s pov

a lil homebound special that’s in jungkook’s pov and u get to see what’s going on in his noggin :D

glimpse: kook’s a protective best friend, hobi is a hyung that he never knew he needed, aND he just needs y/n as his forever emotional support shoulder :D

wordcount: 3k

notes: aHHHHH first of all i love you too!!!! write that down pls

this is a spin-off because earlier, i made a drabble from a request about jimin and y/n’s tough love relationship as crew chief x crew member!!! i loved making that piece they r so dynamic :D

read homebound the fic!!!

it’s not easy being jungkook

ugh yeah he kNOWS he’s handsome and talented and charismatic but gOd this is getting out of hand now

he has to save your ass

AGAIN

well not literally your ass,.,. it’s your thumb this time

he’s met you like what?? two months ago and you’re already a handful!!! LOOK AT YOU

“g-googie pLEASE just h-help me i can’t do it mYSELF!!!”

if only two months ago, jungkook was pulled from basketball practice and shoved into the empty-looking gymnasium AND sat in the front instead of the back right next to you

if only he hasn’t opened his mouth and told that he liked your softball uniform aND coincidentially found a fellow athlete that lit rally only joined sports for the uniforms.,.,..

if only he didn’t reciprocate by saying that he joined basketball for the fluffy warmers.,.,..

HE WOULDN’T BE HERE RIGHT NOW

he wouldn’t deal with you calling him urgently and sAying it’s of a great emergency and that he had to sprint from the other side of campus grounds to where you were

you wouldn’t be right here sat on the ground, hand outstretched for him to mend as he’s only giving you a sCOWL of disbelief

ok fine

jungkook doesn’t regret you being his best friend but he dOES regret having a weak spot for you

“didn’t i specifically tell you NOT to play softball and take it easy for awhile???”

“b-but-...”

“and now someone was being a big dummy and then dISLOCATED her thumb and she’s made ME run all the way to the field because she’s tOO scared to pop back her dislocated thumb and wants ME to do it for her!!!!!”

you are Insufferable

u really are

he can’t help but feel agitated ok

he’s just so stressed and he almost got a near-flunking store at the calc test awhile ago and he studied!!! he studied for THREE hours and he was about three wrong answers away from being failed!!!!

meanwhile you sleep at that class and you bARely even studied because last night you were just calling him up to ask if you were down drinking some shots with you and then yOU pass????

also also!! his basketball coach has been extra tough on him lately and he isn’t even doing anything wrong!! he passes the ball and how come it’s HIS fault that the one he’s passed it to doesn’t make a score???

how is it hIS fault that this guy was an utter dUMBASS

on top of that, the pit crew training is taking a massive toll on his body and this particular time,, it’s jungkook’s only few breaks

and you just hAD to dislocate your thumb and be scared shitless of popping it back

hold on

are you uh.,...

are you crying

jungkook’s flustered a tON because uhHHh he’s not exactly the best person when it comes to these things

there was one time when jungkook added so much wasabi underneath your california maki to the point that you were CRYING

and sue him he didn’t know what to do

everyone in the restaurant thought the two of you were a couple and now there’s a LOT of angry stares aimed towards jungkook and that makes him sweat a little

that one buff guy who’s chopping the squid even sTopped what he was doing and that makes kook audibly gulp

jungkook was a tiny bit intimidated and so he did the next big thing

panickedly threw the packet of tissues to your face :D

lmao he’s gotten a lot better since then

“okay, okay, i’m sorry for yelling at you :((“

god he should know better

i mean you are in physical pain already and you don’t need him yelling at you now, do you??

after all jungkook did have this one big splinter on his thumb when he was doing something stupid aND although you were angry and amused, you didn’t yell at him

ok fair

he’s setting his things down and he had to coax you to give him back your hand because u retracted it when he yelled

“on the count of three, okay?? one, two....”

you’re already wincing and jungkook has to be swift with this when he doesn’t want to prolong your pain

aLTHOUGH this reminds him of how you have to distract him from the pain when he has you pluck out some of his eyebrow hair so they don’t form a unibrow

“two.... you’re still not — two.,..., you’re the one who’s supposed to adjust not me...,.,. t- yO IS THAT MIN YOONGI???”

“wHAT WHERE-“

pOp!!!!!

that shit hUrts

min yoongi is an especially good trigger point for you because jungkook, cannot, and especially cannot stress to how you have a crush on that guy sO bad

he’s a racer ok sure

ehhhh his skills are so-so

honestly he doesn’t even know if this yoongi guy is actually great at racing,,, maybe it’s just his family name that gets him where he’s at ya know....

“don’t joke with me like that! i’m telling you, jungkook — one day i’ll work with min yoongi.”

he snorts at that as he’s holding your hand up, checking to see if there’s any bruising or the sort

he wants to make sure nOw that you’re okay and not have anything else pop up later because he doesn’t want you ruining his alone time again

“yeah. mhmmm. sure you will.”

uGh where would you be now without jungkook

what was LIFE before jungkook

you’re that grateful for him

jungkook’s been avoiding you a liTTLE and you’ve been noticing it but you just didn’t prod into it

the dish was that he thinks he likes you

it’s just this roulette going on in his head

do i like y/n OR have i just been so starved from affection and companionship that i immediately the nearest person to me as someone i love?????

aha it’s the second option :D

you and jungkook fight a lot tho that’s no surprise

it could be over on the most stupid things ever for discourse and well as sensitive as you were, jungkook was even mORE sensitive

one time he cried when not only you gave him the silent treatment, but also literally pretended that he was iNVISIBLE and even got some people in on it

yeth it was a petty fight over stubornness and a sorta petty solution bUt it did give you some peace

what made it even worse was because you befriended these new guys!!!

the kim line!!! jin and namjoon and taehyung were quite the eye-catching trio over on their department and you kNow that jungkook was annoyed by them

actually they were very likeable and jungkook’s just annoyed at them for no apparent reason

and when you ignore jungkook for the whole day AND have the kim line over on your lunch table,,,

when kook offers you a tray of the best batches for your cafeteria food and even a fresh cold carton of chocolate milk,,,,

then pretend you didn’t even hEAR him nor SEE him when he was holding up the tray for you,,,

he absolutely cries because w-why are you :(((( i-i-ignoring me :(((( please d-don’t :((((

fighting and crying has been at an all-time low ever since that particular one

he was so frustrated that he didn’t even notice jin patting his back and he bARELY even knows jungkook

namjoon’s acting as a shield so no one could see that this guy was absolutely Losing it

taehyung’s trying his best to shove some tissues underneath jungkook so he could wipe them down

but this time

tHIS time

it’s jungkook who doesn’t know what to do

it’s you who’s crying so painfully that he’s sure not even the kim line could help try and fix

“he’s just sO — yoongi is uNBEARABLE!!”

oh it’s him again huh

jungkook wasn’t sure at first on how he’d process the news that yeah sure the two of you were the ones chosen to be the victors of the program

but it meant that the two of you were gonna work for different teams and now that just doesn’t make any sense.,...

sure he’s happy because he gets to work for jung hoseok!!!! the racer he’s in awe with and thank god because he didn’t want to work with-

ew he’s shuddering

min yoongi

yOU’RE the one who’s working for him and well!! you should be happy!!! why are you CRYING

jungkook was so nervous meeting hoseok for the first time

he wanted to please everyone so bad it wasn’t even funny :’)

he’s bought four boxes of donuts for his fellow pit crew members alone

hoseok was special special

he gets his OWN dozen and on top of that, kook even made him a crepe cake

from s c r a t c h

that was the most time-consuming jungkook’s ever spent in making food and he is pOsitive that he doesn’t ever want to subject himself to that again in his life

( with the exception for jung hoseok of course hehe )

jungkook’s kinda burnt himself on the pan atleast three times and he was a sweaty mess by the end of cooking it because again

wHO has the time to make crepe cakes????

deadass even bought a lil cooler with him just because he wants to impress his boss even more :)))

:))) tiny lil ice cream cups :)))

“hi!! nice to meet you, i’m hoseok!! why are you holding tHAT big of a bag??”

jungkook was starstruck for sure because wow jung hoseok was kIND???

normally being famous and being kind don’t exactly belong in the same sentence

but uHHhh his idol is right here in front of him being polite and cool and not coming off as snobbish??? wow

“for you, sir — uH sir jung?? uHm-...”

“oH! no, no-...”

“ho — sir???”

hoseok was just meant to tell him that it’s cool to drop the sir thing because he’s working with him not for him

poor kook was so nervous that he called his idol a hoe :(((

“aH, calm down!! it’s okay!! lol you seem cool anyway!!! you can just call me hobi-...”

that sounds SO precious omg

jungkook was about to bow again for the nth time but then hobi over here added something to his sentence

“... -hyung”

bROTHER??

now listen

hobi doesn’t have a brother in his family and gOd something about this younger guy in front of him,,,

he’s read jungkook’s forms and he’s younger than him and he’s iNTIMIDATINGLY large but he just looks so innocent y’know

it reminds him of nemo in a big vast ocean but maybe that’s just because he watched finding nemo last night and was emotional

but look!!! jungkook!!!! he wants to protecc this guy from the world and he looks so eager too!!!!

if you squint hard enough u could see jungkook’s fists in his sides clenching from being so happy

anyway

“hey, hey. c’mon, don’t cry now you’re gonna get uGly!!!!”

okay that did not help

jungkook’s rubbing circles on your back as you try to recollect what happened awhile ago at work and how yoongi was an absolute asshole

he’s tough on you and you don’t know why!!!

on top of that, your crew chief jimin is aLSO tough on you and you don’t know why either and it’s just!!!! why does everyone hate me!!!!! when i am just!!!!! bREATHING!!!!!

“want me to put in a good word for you for hobi-hyung? he could pull some strings then work for him instead... with me..... the people are a LOT nicer too...”

hobi knows about jungkook’s friendshio with you and he wasn’t really bothered to how his pit crew member is best friends with a pit crew member for his main rival :D not really :D

in fact he was even endeared!!! asked a lot of questions too because jungkook hOW do you contain yourself?? you’re so competitive and you’re not even the oNE who’s racing between us two???

“oh that’s easy hyung!!! y/n and i just kinda trashtalk each other for every game, then on free days we’re all cool!! :D”

“is that.... is that healthy..,.,.”

hobi wants to take you under his wing if that was possible

your contract and perhaps min yoongi are the only variables stopping you

he’s never said this to anyone but he dID make a semi-empty joke to yoongi once that y/n will also be working for him next season before he could even blink

and yoongi normally looks stoic but hobi swears that he must’ve flipped a switch aha :D

he looked sO infuriated and angry at the mention of your name and “working for me” that he actually thought yoongi would lunge at him

“it’s okay i guess :(( don’t wanna give up just yet :((“

“mHmmm okay whatever you say, sport :))”

jungkook praises you a lot for your dedication because if that was him?? he would’ve bitch-slapped yoongi in a second and quit right then and there!!

he cares for you!!! a lot!!! no one could ever take up your spot as his emotional support shoulder

he’s perfectly content with his job that he’s in!!!

hobi teaches him about things he’s never known before

practical life lessons too!!!

jungkook’s now equipped with the knowledge of how to make bread taste like french toast wITHOUT even making it like french toast

he now knows how to drift!!! like aCTUALLY drift!!! :D

hobi even taught him some tips about making the best use out of your car’s gas and how to nOT cower when it’s blinking that you’re about to run out

aHA jungkook’s still a little bit panicked whenever he sees the light blinking but then he’d remember hobi in his mind looking at him dead-straight

“you’re one of the buffest guys i’ve ever known, and you’re rattled at a tiny light blinking at you?”

you could still go for 50 km tOps with a blinking gas notice on!!! you’re nOT gonna believe jung hoseok the racer??

sigh

jungkook may be content with his job rn

but of course he’s still looking out for you :D

you’re much happier and giggly these days,,, yoongi and his character development being the causes for it

but every now and then aha :D

jungkook likes to relish over the fact that yeah yoongi may be over him in terms of seniority :) but that’s hIS best friend that he’s dating :)

he may just want to spook the guy sometimes

yoongi’s minding his business as he brings over lunch to kim kradle again, chopping up your cheesy tonkatsu for u when he makes the mistake of lifting his eyes

jungkook’s casually munching on his own meal that yoongi’s aLSO bought for him :D giving the older guy a thumbs-up and it makes yoongi smile

right before when jungkook’s eyes flicker from him and to you and his thumb is nOW resting daintily on his neck as he wiggles his eyebrows

g-gulp

yoongi will take care of you for sURE

[assim-eu-sou]

Bia 2:53-54

5:53

- Broken people… broken people…

- Nooooo she’s crying…. I take comfort in knowing that this can only last so long since only 8 episodes remain

- RIP Guillermo

- Luan the Sage

- Celeste always with the relationship advice. Me-Core

- It’s nice that even in his Dark state, Manuel is still trying his hardest to help his friends.

- Noooo Chiara babey….

- Chiara is the number one fan of Binuel I think. As she should.

- Poema de desamor LMAO

- NOT THE TYPEWRITER PLEASEEEE

- Philosophy time in the Residencia Kunst

- Perhaps Pietro Sr has finally changed… go Daisy!

- Victor cannot get Primer Amor out of his head these days

- He needs a different pedal for that guitar…. it would help the tone

- Saved by the Paula

- Zeta is evolving, slowly but surely

- Back to being the Mama’s boy, I hope

- HAHA Paula knows how to catch his interest

- Cringe Moment

- Tsk how anyone would think those tears were real but.

- I wasn’t expecting her to say that Alex was sorry

- OMGEGHIFUEPUODAHIUPPDU ANA SI VUELVO A NACER I’M EMO EMO EMO EMOOOOOOOOOOO

- Me. enamoré. de. una. voz. Y punto.

- Ah….. the classic “Y Victor”.

- Aillén is TIRED of Laix

- Oop. Alex turn on Antonio now? How about it?

- Ok so parents we see in the show: Mother and father of Bia/Helena, Manuel, Alex/Victor, father of Pietro… I think that’s it

- HA go Alex! First time I’ve said that I think.

- Carmín and Chiara both have babey energy but in opposite directions and I enjoy them together

- The tension between Marcos and Guillermo lol

- Thiago is stresssssssed

- She sent it! Soon. The truth will begin to find its way out.

- A silent strike would definitely be impossible for the Fundom

- Dang Manuel looks murderous

- Manuel is mad for Bia. :’(

- Manuel said I WILL be a reckoning for Victor

- Bilena moment :)

- Ana is stronger than any US marine not breaking down and crying whenever Bia talks about her

- Sure would be fin if this was the moment she realized the truth. Too bad it definitely isn’t.

2:54

- What is that was my last straw. WHAT IF THAT WAS MY LAST STRAW. Emo.

- FREAKING PIANIST’S HANDS I’m. It’s all too much TOO MUCH FOR ME.

- WHAT IF THAT WAS MY LAST STRAW FOR REAL THIS TIME

- Es demasiado fuerte díos mio…

- Good on the disillusioned Aillén for being an ally

- Aw her drawing Manuel… and speak of the devil

- Is this… gonna be an apology? Nah probably not.

- Bia is. Super mature about this tbh.

- HA Paula calling him out. Antonio could really make dinner once in a while.

- Zeta makes a point. He is trying tbh

- I see the change in Alex.

- Is this…. a decent brothers moment?

- Aw… it is :’)

- He’s finally singing awwwww

- Paula is so happy to hear it again

- Things get better…

- Awwww Carmín wants what Luxie has I can see it in her eyes…

- I was RIGHT sometimes I feel like I’m terrible at sensing these things

- Dang… Antonio and Mara deserve each other

- Ayyyyy Thiago is NERVOUS

- Lmaoooo Luan is right on time

- BAHAHA Aillén planning her escape

- Harta de ti…

- The Cobra truth makes its way out

- Manuel needs to take that beanie off his fluffy puppy dog hair y ya. basta.

- Awwww Ana bringing her tea with the little sing-song voice

- Omgggg Victor’s performing

- Awwww he’s vaguing Manuel

- Ok not vague anymore

- Awww Bia’s face

- How is Ana not sobbing rn her restraint,,, truly…

- Bia is still perturbed by her face though lol

- Let’s talk about Fer Dente’s range for a second. Like hello? It gets up to the very top of my chest voice range.

- Someone she used to love…. wow…

- Manuel, you’re just gonna tell him? Well, I suppose Pietro can be trusted.

- Carmín probably thought that display of character was attractive lol

- Chiara said Devil’s advocate. But it’s ok in this case.

- Luan Screenwriter?

- Ok but imagine if the show was actually just a story Luan wrote lmaoooo

- I am gonna get out my typewriter tomorrow. I’ve been inspired. Like actually. I have a cool idea to type my poems onto old music manuscripts… i’s gonna be cool.

- Of COURSE Luan is gonna be the one to fix Zeta. I should have seen that coming.

- Kick him out. Kick him out. Kick him out! The new vibe of the Gutiérrez family would benefit from not having Antonio.

- Brothers moment!

- Is this the truth time???? OH WOW

- I do feel sorry for Alex honestly

- Alex coming in with the reality check. I honestly think it’s best that Paula not know. Like it’s bad that she will think badly of Helena but.. idk

- But with Ana coming clean about her identity soon… hm. Whatever.

- Bom dia flor de dia… :’)

- Thiago and Ana are WAYYYY tooo good at coming up with lies on the spot

- I see Manuel’s hair again… slowly healing?

- VOY! Oh women… what can I say.

- Oop. Now Mara knows the secret of the Cobra.

- LEAVE CARMÍN ALONE CHALLENGE

- I believe Alex is a changes man. He switched up on me quick but. I’ll let it happen. There’s no good in holding these grudges.

- I FEEL TERRIBLE ACTUALLY. This montage of all the bad things he did that could have been avoided if only he had known the truth… that feeling is awful.

- Ana always says “No importa” but it always matters

- Thank u Ana… advocating for your little sis

- I LAUGHED sorry Thiago

- Oooooh that recording is really gonna backfire on her LMAO

- Ah well nevermind I suppose she not gonna keep it now HA

- Leave Carmín alone leave Carmín ALONE

- LUAN you didn’t have to SAY it

- Thiago is tired of Luan’s perception

- Poor Thiago eek it’s a sticky situation

- WAIT COBRA>

- FINALLY HE’S TAKING THE POWER AWAY FROM MARCOS

- Pleaseeeeeee Guillermo is so whipped I-

- Awwww Chiara

- NOOOOOOOO THE FUNDOM

- NOT THE BRIDGE

- Bruh I’m nervous omggggg

[sassypandacandy]

Candied Larkspur

Sooner or later, everyone comes to make a bargain.

The pre-law students are the hardest sell. They've read the fine print; they know the questions to ask, the verbal pitfalls to leap. They're her favorite ones to trick.

The English majors either come to her wary, or with stars in their eyes. The wary ones know there'll be a price to pay, one greater than her candied words promise. The starry-eyed ones would have been the first to eat from her table in the old stories.

Easiest of all are the scientists and mathematicians. They don't believe in her anyway.

She sits for one hour – no more, no less – at the table by the window, so the afternoon sunlight can fall on her pale topaz hair. She reads romance novels, or technical manuals, or outdated botanical guidebooks. The only other items on the table are a yellow legal pad, a blue pen, and a coffee cup filled with more cream than coffee.

These are the rules: You must bring a gift. When you have reached an agreement, you must sign your name on the legal pad. Then you must leave and never speak of your bargain again.

The first one today is a girl with curly hair pinned back by a thick butterfly clip. She has wet eyes and a sincere smile. There's a bottle of cheap moscato in one nail-bitten hand and a pack of Zebra cakes in the other. She loses her nerve halfway to the table and instead makes a beeline for me.

“Can I help you find something?” I ask, offering her my gentlest smile.

She clears her throat. “No, it's stupid.” She glances over at the table by the window, brow puckering. “She isn't...real, right? Like, she's not really---”

“That depends on you.” I can feel the heated brush of her gaze. Whatever I do, I mustn't look over. “How much you believe. How desperate you are.”

“So you know?” the girl asks.

I almost laugh. “Too much, and too late. If you're going to go through with it, tread carefully. Negotiate. Ask questions.” I lean in closer. “And above all else, remember: She is not your friend.”

The girl swallows and clutches her offerings closer. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

Satisfaction stirs within me, a lazy cat stretching out in the sun. “That's very wise of you.”

“But I still need help.”

“And you can have it,” I say, nodding in her direction. “But there's a cost, and it's not always worth it.”

The girl half-turns away before glancing back at me. “You must've seen a lot of people get suckered.”

“Honestly? I've lost count.”

“But she doesn't hurt you? Even when you warn people?”

“We have an understanding.” I shrug. “And people rarely listen to me anyway.”

The next one is a boy a little older, with tall hair and a golden smile. He does not even look at me; like the rest of his kind, he goes straight for what he wants. He drops a dark, understated bottle on the table in front of her and crosses his arms.

“I need to pass my English final next week.” His voice grates even from across the library.

She does not turn her head. Slim fingers play with the pressed larkspur pendant around her neck. In the right light and to the right eyes, her nails are clearly talons. “And what will you give me?”

I silently beg him not to say the words, but of course he does. “Anything you want.” To him, this promise is meaningless. Or rather, it has a very specific meaning: Whatever his money can buy her. But of course, that's not the way this is going to go.

“I want an hour of your day,” she says.

He shifts in place. Something has changed, although he won't listen when his instincts tell him so. “What does that mean?”

“My price is an hour of wakefulness, to be taken at my liking.”

“Deal,” he says, and I close my eyes. He will be one of the bad ones.

Paper rips. She has taken a sheet from her yellow legal pad and written out the terms. Only now, as he signs his name with three flourishes, does she look him in the eye. Will he notice the odd purple-blue shade of hers? Doubtful. “It is done.”

“Whatever, weirdo,” he says, tossing the pen down. He swaggers out of the library, confident in every step of the easy road ahead. The paper has already disappeared from her hands.

The third and final one comes as the sun is reaching its golden hour. She has a bottle of Bailey's and a small notebook that she clutches to her chest like a shield. “May I sit?” the girl asks. “Or is that rude?”

“You may do as you like,” she says, again without turning her head.

The girl sets the bottle down gently in the middle of the table and sits. The dying light catches on her earrings, silver woven in the shape of trees.

She turns her head now, attention caught. “Those are beautiful.”

“These?” The girl touches the earrings and smiles. “Thank---I mean, I'm glad you like them.”

She tilts her head. “How can I help you?”

“My mom's cancer came back last month. She just beat it in March, and her doctor doesn't think her chances are good.” Tears well up in the girl's eyes. “She can't do it again. I'd like you to heal her and make sure the cancer never comes back, in any way.”

“A classic request,” she says. “The price is a kiss.”

The girl draws back, her face considering. “Not that it wouldn't be the highest honor, but do I have to kiss you?”

“You may, although you are right to be wary of such a thing,” she replies. “The kiss may be with whomever you like, although it would satisfy me all the more if it were with a stranger.”

“Is there a time limit?”

“Before the new year.”

“Which new year?”

The edge of a pleased smile appears on her perfect face. “The Western New Year will do. But the sooner you fulfill your part, the sooner I will fulfill mine.”

The girl checks her notebook. “Are there any other requirements or limitations like location or duration?”

At this, she laughs. It is the soft summer breeze and the baying of midnight hounds. “There are not.”

“Will anything bad happen to me or my mother as a result?”

“That, I cannot say. Life is full of bad things. But none of them will happen to you as a consequence of this day.” That smile reappears, and she toys with her pendant. “In fact, I am hoping for something rather good. The world needs more bold acts.”

Nodding firmly, the girl says, “Then we have a deal.”

She writes out the terms, including everything they have discussed. I cheer silently for the girl; this is the best bargain I have seen in a long time.

If only we could all be saved by our wits and a little silver jewelry.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is the final day before winter break, and therefore the final day for making bargains. There is always a line to reach her table this time of year, as desperation rises and whispers abound. She is the university's worst-kept secret.

The girl with the butterfly clip has come by every day. She stops by my desk to talk before settling in to study. She talks about her break-up, how sometimes the lovesick ache in her heart feels like it weighs a thousand pounds and all she wants is to be able to breathe freely. I never mention the way her backpack pulls to one side with the weight of a wine bottle, or how the seat she chooses always manages to face the windows.

I hate to admit I'm becoming fond of her.

The peace of the library is shattered by a slamming door. The boy who made the poor bargain last week storms in, his hair in disarray and his swagger gone. He slams his bag on the table across from her, causing another student to jump back.

“Bitch,” he screeches. “You made me sleep through my business final!”

She has not moved a muscle. “The price was an hour of your life. You signed the contract.”

“I needed that class to graduate!” he rages, sweeping his backpack off the table.

“Then you should have been more careful with your promises.”

The students' whispers are growing louder. A security guard arrives, though none was called. He is just in time to hear the boy threaten to kill her for this. The boy is dragged out, purple-faced and still screaming.

I calm the students as best I can. It's finals week, and someone always goes a little crazy. Eventually they laugh it off. But they don't know what I know: The boy will follow her tonight, looking for his revenge, and he will see things he was not meant to see. It will be all the reason she needs. They will find his body in the first spring thaw.

The girl with the butterfly clip stops by my desk to say goodbye. She has a family to see, and a bottle of wine to drink. She thanks me for my advice. I thank her for listening.

Finally, the library is empty but for the two of us. “A bountiful season,” she remarks, standing. The table in front of her is empty.

“It was, my lady.” I turn off my computer and gather my meager things.

“There was one who never quite plucked up the courage,” she says. “She will taste all the sweeter when I snare her next year.”

I pause with my hand on the library door.

“They are only humans, Delphine,” she says. One hand curls over mine from behind, the talons brushing gently over my unchanging skin. “But if you would like to make a new bargain...”

Ice seizes my heart. “No.”

“No?” she croons. “But you have spent so many long centuries watching. Surely I could not trick you a second time.”

“No thank you, my lady,” I say again, opening the door with a harsh clang. I hold it for her, eyes downcast as she glides by only inches away. She smells of sugar and shade trees, like always.

In the old days I thought often of killing her, with cold iron or rowan staff or thorny bush. But my courage failed me every time, until I looked up one day and a decade had passed. And then another. And then another. In truth, I had barely noticed. There had been nothing and no one there to make me take notice. Not until a girl with a butterfly clip in her curly hair had reminded me that life was more than a slow march of days.

I stop the library door just before it can close. “My lady?”

She does not respond, but I feel the heat of her gaze. I hold the door open for her, and she walks back into the library. She takes her seat and picks up the yellow legal pad from where it is waiting. I take the second seat. The last embers of the day land on her face, painting her eyes crimson.

“Why this one?” she asks.

I know the answer without thinking. “Because she makes me feel brave. And she deserves to have a heart free from hurt.”

Her eyes glitter. There can be no greater thrill than tricking one who knows all your tricks. “Now then. What will you give me?”

She was right before; they are only humans. And there will always be someone else willing to make a bargain. But if I have learned any lesson in all these years, it is this: Some things are worth the cost.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: You'll Never Walk Alone (17x04)

Awww George! That was the best possible answer as to who was waiting for Meredith in the pseudo-afterlife. It was so amazing seeing him!

Cons:

I thought Maggie's boyfriend's thing with his dad was a little unrealistic in how blunt it was? Like, he saw his dad on a Zoom call and was immediately like "here is the major family drama that we have, let me explain it to the viewer and then sign off the call." It might have just been an issue of clunky writing.

Okay, Jo and Jackson... tread very, very lightly. I don't mind a good old fashioned friends with benefits situation, but that never seems to go the way we want it to, and I'm not about Jo/Jackson as an actual romantic pairing. This show has convinced me of weirder, but at the moment I just don't want them to pair up because they both happen to be single. Also, any storyline that touches on Jo healing from Alex just gives me visceral flashbacks to how stupid Alex's exit from the show truly was. It's hard to see past that.

Pros:

Okay, starting with a small thing, but I actually thought Nico and Levi's conversation was hilarious. I'm not aboard the ship for them anymore, after everything Nico put Levi through, but it's just occurred to me what the funniest and best way forward would be for them, if they keep this story going. What if Levi actually does a good job with boundaries, is totally emotionally over Nico, and really is just using him as a sex buddy, and then Nico catches overwhelming feelings and realizes how badly he screwed up? And Levi is just like... "nah, man. Thanks, but no thanks." I would watch the hell out of that. I just liked when Levi was like "I want to invite you over, but you and I were not good to each other and nothing's changed." And Nico's like "there's a global pandemic." And Levi's like "good point, let's go." It made me laugh.

While I have serious reservations about Jo and Jackson, I do think their friendship is really sweet, and I hope they continue to be able to lean on each other through the tough times. I'm all aboard the pandemic sex buddy agenda.

George and Meredith talking was so great! I loved how he described being dead, and not getting a choice, and regrets, and do regrets matter? It was so cute, when Meredith got all giggly, asking George if he haunted his mother sometimes. And George bringing up the way Meredith used to dance it out when she got stressed or sad. It was such a lovely callback to the earlier days of the show, the twisted sisters... I miss Cristina so much, I really do.

Giving the main character of the show Covid-19 makes a certain amount of sense from a dramatic perspective, but I was a little nervous going in that they were going to be disrespectful about it. It's still possible they could make some bad choices here, but so far I think the balance is working well. See, Meredith is hovering in this in-between place, and she gets to see Derek, she gets to see George, that's all well and good... but they aren't really implying that it's entirely Meredith's choice. This isn't some metaphysical decision about whether or not to live. She needs to have the will, but also, on the outside, she's sleeping all day and really sick, and her doctors and friends need to make medical decisions to save her life. If it's even possible.

Speaking of, I like the conflict we're setting up here with DeLuca, Teddy, and Richard all taking different roles in Meredith's healthcare. Obviously Andrew is pushing for a risky new trial, and Teddy backs him up, which seems to set Richard at ease... but it's still a big decision for him to make. If he puts her in the trial and she dies, will it be his fault? I loved the moment when we saw Richard come into the dream space with Meredith and George, that subtle blending of these two states of mind.

Amelia and Link for the win! I loved that Amelia lost her shit a little bit, but instead of devolving back into the Amelia of old, who would have totally spiraled and caused big drama, we got Link trying to be a good partner for her, and then telling her in no uncertain terms that he too needs support as he deals with the situation his own way, by not talking and processing, but by focusing on the good things and playing his damn guitar. Open communication for the win!

Poor Tom really cannot catch a break. If they kill him off in a "surprise, you thought Meredith was in danger but it's actually Tom" kind of way, I will be PISSED. The guy is acerbic, and kind of a jerk, but I honestly think he's a good person who tries his best, and he doesn't deserve the crap he's gone through. I'd love for some sort of hilarious reconciliation between Owen and Tom where they put aside their differences and become friends, and both leave Teddy behind in the dust. It's what she deserves, to be quite honest. In any case, I loved Helm and Tom talking about a zombie apocalypse game and doing simulations for COVID... I think this is based on a true story of something that happened in an MMORPG game, although I can't remember which one... probably WOW... it was used to test pandemic conditions.

Even though there was a bit of awkwardness in the writing, I still really love Maggie and her boyfriend. I like how chill and reasonable she's being about this, in a clear example of growth from... oh... all of Maggie's other plot threads! I hope that these two can stay together, and that their long distance relationship will continue to grow throughout the season. I think they're really cute!

I wasn't entirely sure what to think of Owen's racism plot at first, but ultimately I liked how it was portrayed, how you can't exactly hate Owen for making this mistake but at the same time, he needs to own his biases and do better. He says "there's no excuse" and then makes an excuse immediately... and Bailey calls him on it. Owen sucks and I don't like him, but I hope he learns from this mistake. I also liked the intern lady whose name I don't know, who wanted to talk to Owen about his mistake but couldn't figure out how to do it, and the fact that Nico did it for her, basically, telling Owen off in no uncertain terms. That was a good character beat for him.

As always, I feel fairly certain I'm missing someone. This show is just too huge, too many characters to juggle! For now, I'll end things there. This was a perfectly fine installment, it felt like filler for things to come, but I don't mind that! And we got to see George!

8/10

[meganharperr-blog]

COVID-19 Day 3

Why did I start on day 3 you might ask? Well day 1 was reserved for crying, self pity, deep bouts of depression, restless anxiety, and a shit ton of edibles. Day 2 was consumed by coming up with a plan. So let’s back track to what I can remember about those days and the questions I have been asked:

1.  What made you get tested? Did you have symptoms? I very honestly get routine tests. If I am exposed to larger groups of people than my norm, I get tested. If I have a bunch of makeup gigs, I get tested. I get tested for my clients and customers. It is my moral obligation and civil duty to make sure I am 100% healthy to perform justifiably in all the fields I conduct business…which is a vast amount of service based income. I am a makeup artist, and Esthetician, and a Bartender. I either have my hands physically on someone or I am serving masses of people at a given time. Now doing all of this I have become insanely hyper aware of sanitation. In my studio I have Clorox wipes at arms reach, I sanitize with Barbicide and I am Barbicide certified, all sheets and blankets get washed after every client, and if you have had your makeup done by me before you know I wont use the same brush twice and it must be sanitized in-between clients. This has all been second nature to me for years. So when I had a bunch of photoshoots and clients on the books I knew it was time to get tested for peace of mind. Only a week and 1/2 after my last COVID test. The only thing I can even consider a symptom would be the night before I had a headache. I took Advil and it went away no problem. I was also on my cycle and having cramps…or could they have been “body pains”? Shit idk. All I know is I made a joke about having COVID on my way to my rapid testing…

2. Have you heard that the rapid tests are not as accurate? When I got my results back in 15 min and it was my first ever positive I was shocked. I did not trust it right away and pretty much everyone in my circle said get a second opinion. So I got 2 more. One was another rapid test. The other would get back to me in 3 days. I mentally claimed it was a false positive. 

My brain: “shiiiit. There aint no way. No way in hell girl. You careful as shit. You got all these blessings coming your way. Business is booming. Opportunities are rising. Aint no slowing down for 2 weeks right now.” 

I of course made my partner come with me and get a rapid test as well as the test that would take 3 days to get back to us. While waiting for the results I wanted to get vitamins and snacks and what ever else I may need if this does become my reality. We get to Publix and my heart sinks into my asshole and I’m like…. SHOULD I EVEN GO IN THERE?! The anxiety started building right then and there. I thought to myself “Just keep your mask on, Social distance, you know wtf goin on just be safe” … as we get into the store I wasn’t feeling it. I saw older people around me and I just didn’t feel right and in that moment my phone started to ring. I bursted into tears and couldn’t even stay in the store. I just knew it. It was legit.. 

The lady on the phone was so nice. She asked if it was what I expected to hear and I honestly said “no”. Because I just knew I didn’t have it. I knew how careful I had been.I am not a perfect person by any means but I see y'all reckless ass Mfer’s out there and we are not the sameeeee man shit nawwww this couldn't happen to me. But it did. 

3. How did you get it? OMFG IDK! I have exhausted my brain with this question. How could this happen to me? Shit did I drop my mask at some point? Did I get too close to someone outside at ( insert bar name here ) when I went to have a drink on Saturday night? But it was outside? 

Googles : “Can you catch COVID outside? “

    “Can you catch COVID with a mask on?”

    “Can you catch COVID from  it being on your clothing?”

    “Can you catch COVID from a toilet seat?”

I mean you name it I Googled it. And the unfortunate answer was yes to all of the above. I got tested on the 4th. So I know I got it sometime after that. I of course contacted everyone I came in contact with….which was horrible! I felt freaking terrible!!! I swear it was worse than narrowing down an STD culprit. It’s like shit… you get an STD…you hit up your top 5, or top 10…look idk your life like that…and have everyone get tested. Let’s be real though you got it narrowed down and think you probably know who did you dirty….Get the results back and boom its over with. Take the meds move on with your life no-one has to know. COVID on the other hand can fucking KILL YEW, PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT, GRANDMAS THAT THEY CARE ABOUT, CHILDREN WITH PRE-EXISTING ISSUES, IT CAN KILL PEOPLE. So you gotta back track back track. Make sure all bases are covered especially when you work multiple outlets which is mad important these days. THE MORAL of all this is… idk. Idk how I got it. I am mad careful. I be judging you on social media for being out and reckless without a mask on. I get tested frequently. I have hand sanitizer in every bag I own, in my car, and all over my home. I AM A NEAT FREAK and a GERMY! I am careful. To say the least..but not perfect I am sure after working 10 hours in a mask I have let it fall for a few min! I am sure on my bike I have dropped it out of pure exhaustion. I know I have tried hard, but I am still human and this is all new.  So y’all non-maskers out there think you on to something…in reality you could have it too and not even know. Psh. Anyways. Next question…

4. Does your partner have it too? No. Somehow no. This is where we had to start coming up with a plan. We work together so this puts us both out of work. LUCKILY we have been saving incase of a shut down and we also have back up savings for a home we *hope* to purchase next year so that plan was solid…. But how to keep him healthy? Just because I do not have symptoms does not mean his body will react the same way. I need to make sure he does not get infected as well. We are going to continue to get him tested for the next several days to monitor that. He is quarantining and I am in what is called “isolation”for a minimum of 14 days. We try our best to stay in different rooms. We have a tiny apartment with one bathroom, so I am just constantly sanitizing right now. Everything I touch or may have touched gets a Clorox wipe. We both wear masks 24/7 in the house. Even if he goes outside to walk the dog, I am keeping a mask on. I have learned so much in the past 48 hours about contracting the virus that I do not even want to risk a drop of my saliva in this house. I am doing disposable masks every day. I luckily have plenty of masks and gloves from working on clients. If I cook I wash my hands, sanitize, then put on gloves. We eat in separate rooms or at the edge of the room so it feels like we are eating together. We are really trying our best and that is some shit they do not prepare you for. Your partner has to be careful around you. They cannot touch you or even come near you and sometimes have to remind you of that. Try to do chores in separate rooms. Try to not get your feelings hurt because its not that they don’t want to be around you, but it is dangerous and they cannot be. So my poor lil feelings keep getting hurt, but I’m a tough gal it’ll be alright I just want to make sure he stays healthy. 

5. Can you breathe? So this brings us to day 3. We have a plan. It has been working. I have my little cleaning things I am doing in one room, he has his in another…and I am pretty much in Go Mode. Before all of this I had a Cleaning Babe coming to help me with things so I had a list for her. I just embodied her and did the list myself plus some major decluttering. I have a ton of clothes to donate (that I am letting sit bagged up for 14 days just to be cautious before donating…some shit I read idk…might get anxious and throw it all away…tbd) so while I am going to town cleaning out my abyss I start to get really short of breath and kinda lethargic. I laid down on the bed to catch my breath for several minutes then took a little break from cleaning. This is the first time I have felt any type of crazy. I still have a lot of anxiety about the days to come. Will it get worse? Will I start to feel like actual hell on earth? Will I be able to keep my partner safe? Shit idk but I am trying really hard. They simply do not tell you about the anxiety that you will have. It is normal. You are going to be generally overwhelmed if you are a good person. Just stay good. and Stay aware.... and Stay tuned. I may not write every single day. But I will keep you updated. If you have any helpful stuff for me to read, please send it my way! If you have any questions feel free to ask. If you have been in this situation with a live in positive and negative… what’s your advice? My DM’s and PM’s are open.