#something I noticed while working on this... the subtitles in this game use a LOT of elipses...

[rhyme-rambles]

Aquaria Transcript

A couple months ago I replayed Aquaria, and went looking around for a transcript online so i could reference it while making fanworks. I couldn't find an existing one, so I decided to make one myself by combing through a lets play series on youtube and paused on every line of narration I found to write it down. (here's a link to that!)

This was mostly made for own reference, but I thought other people could find it helpful so I've cleaned it up and am posting it here as well.

This is the first time I've ever made a transcript, so there may be mistakes, bits of narration I missed, or things I could've formatted / described better. Please let me know if you notice a way I could improve this in any way!

Feel free to copy, repost, and make edits to this transcript! That's encouraged even, I'd love for more people to be able to find and use it. Up to you if you want to credit me, I don't feel strongly about it.

The full transcript is below the cut, it's around 4,500 words long in total. It goes through the game's narration zone by zone; then at the end I've included pictures of the hidden memories, and lyrics for the songs "Lost to the Waves" and "Fear the Dark".

START

Intro

[close up on Naija’s face] Naija: The Verse flows throughout Aquaria…  Through each ripple and wave…  Through every living being…  The Verse binds us all as one. 

The Verse binds us, narrator and explorer.  My story will become your own, and yours will become mine. 

You will live my life through my eyes… … And you will learn the truth.

[panning across the starting cave, Naija sits on a rock] Naija: As far back as I can remember, I came to this place to think. This cave was my sanctuary. Here, the Verse was so focused that I could feel it humming in the stones around me. If I called out in song, the cave and its creatures would dance to my tune.

If I had stayed there, I might have found peace… But eventually, loneliness… and restlessness… drove me away.

Movement Tutorial

[while swimming through cave with armored fish] When confronted with a dangerous situation, I was wise to use the full range of my physical abilities to avoid it. With a powerful thrust of my legs, my webbed feet would propel me forward… … Leaving my pursuers in my wake.

Shield Song Tutorial

Naija: As I sang, I could feel the Verse flowing through me… Certain songs stirred the Verse deeply, causing changes in the surrounding waters.

The first song I had discovered would wrap the verse around me… … Protecting me from environmental dangers.

Shrouded Figure Appears

[World darkens, shrouded figure appears] Naija: In all my memory, every day had been like every other. If she had not appeared before me in that moment… … I might have stayed in those watters for the rest of my days … … Living as a simple creature … … But I was compelled to follow.

[phantom lady touches Naija’s forhead]

[flashes of song cave and energy temple]

[vision of Naija in energy form, navigating past monsters in the dark]

[Phantom lady disappears] The strange form faded before my eyes… …Perhaps I’d only dreamed her. But I was no longer the same. That vision…

I’d lived as a feral creature, not thinking beyond the simplest desires… … Until now.

As if from a dream, I awoke to the reality of my existence. To the fact that I was… alone.

I knew that this world was called Aquaria, and that my name was Naija… … But I could recall nothing else.

Was I the only one of my kind left? Was I destined to live out the rest of my days in solitude?

My heart ached for answers… … in time … … I would discover far more than I wished to learn …

Entering Home Cave

I was enveloped by warm light, as familiarity overwhelmed me. …I had come home…

Cooking Tutorial

There were many strange ingredients to be found in the waters of Aquaria. By cooking them together with the verse, I could create new foods. Some of my recipes proved to be very useful.

THE SONG CAVE

Entering The Song Cave

In these ancient ruins, lay the untold histories of Aquaria.  With exploration and preserverence, I would rediscover long lost knowledge.

Finding the Ancient Door

The ancient door stood tall and resolute. It was ornately decorated with swirling patterns. But did not provide an obvious means for opening. I would have to search these waters to find its secret.

Discovering the Crystal

The crystal was not like the others I had encountered. In its depths, I could sense the presence of something… Alive. I was compelled to move closer.

[touches crystal, spirit appears] In a brilliant flash, an odd creature had emerged from the crystal.

Her gaze penetrated my soul, and though she did not speak…  I could hear her words echoing inside my head, as clear as the waters around me… … It was beautiful.

Glimpses of her memories flashed in my mind, and threatened to overwhelm me… I closed my eyes, and felt for one brief moment… …That I was connected to all of history.

When I opened them again, the creature was gone.

[learned the bind song] From the imprisoned soul, I inherited a new song. By binding the verse around physical objects… … I would be able to move them through the waters with ease.

ENERGY TEMPLE

Entering Energy Temple

Pulling the obstruction aside, I glided forward…  … Peering into the cavernous depths.

No matter my hesitations, I would have to continue into this darkness.

Gained Energy Form

Where blood had flowed through me, now ran a stream of pure power. A new passion enthralled me. My mind reeled at the dark gift I was granted.

If I sang the song of this deceased god… I would become… a being of pure energy.

In this form I could sense the lines of energy that flowed throughout the waters.

Using my mind as a flint, I could spark a projectile… … That would leap towards anything that dared impede my progress.

Form Changing Tutorial

I discovered that in the Energy Form, I could not call out in song.

To return, I would have to focus my energy inward…

Krotite Vision

[After defeating the beast at the end of the Energy Temple]

As the creature fell, I sensed a presence reach into my mind… …Another vision began.

A race, known as the Krotites, had built this temple to worship this fallen god. They’d honored raw power above anything else.

Unlike the spirit I’d encountered in the crystal, these people had no interest in creation. They reveled in destruction. Their lust for power led not only to the downfall of their civilization… … But also the destruction of another. Now… this destructive power simmered within me.

OPEN WATERS

Entering Open Waters

The rush of new waves greeted my ears as I glided into undiscovered waters.

Though a chapter of my life had ended, my journey was far from over.

Discovering Fallen Statue

I discovered a fallen statue of a race that resembled my own. Though it had collapsed from many years of decay, it still marked the way to those that had built it. Perhaps if I followed, I would find more of my kind.

MITHALAS

Reading Entrance Tablet

A fractured tablet lay nearby - I stared at it… …and though I didn’t understand how, I could read what it said. This had been a city called Mithalas.

An entire city, in ruin… … were there no survivors?

Entering Throne Room

I had glided into the chambers of a former ruler… From what I could gather from a nearby portrait, this room belonged to a young prince of Mithalas.

Were these people my ancestors? Or did I merely wish - desperately - to be one of them.

Entering Princess’s Room

The princess of Mithalas had lived here. I wondered if I’d been here once upon a time. I fancied myself ruling here in ages past - with a faithful prince at my side.

Entering First Flesh Tunnel

The twisted, disgusting creatures swam ungainly towards me. In their shallow eyes I saw only a hunger for flesh.

With horror, I realized the resembled the fallen statue that had led me here.

Entering Corrupted Cathedral

Sickly red veins ran throughout this ancient cathedral. Where hopeful believers had once come to rejoice,  foul monsters now thrived.

Killed Final Core

I killed the final rotted core of this wretched cathedral, And tears welled up in my eyes.

With every creature I destroyed - every ancient being I put to rest, I felt a part of myself slip away. It was not only that I had caused the destruction… … but that i had …

… enjoyed it.

I feared this nightmare would never end, and I would be drawn into a spiral of dementia.

Perhaps I would never find my family, but there had to be someone… …Someone to keep me from the darkness.

Mithalan Vision

[After Defeating Mithala]

Mithalas… As it once was… A grand city built by a noble people, and watched over by a royal family. They were all children of a god named Mithala.

The Mithalans immortalized their god’s noble visage in stone, and built many statues honoring him throughout Aquaria.

For hundreds of years, the city of Mithalas stood strong… …Providing its inhabitants with long, fulfilling lives.

If only the vision had ended there… If only every mithalan had been noble…

With the comforts and safety of the city, came a new calling… eternal life. The Mithalan Priests, who acted as Mithala’s mouthpiece,  saw the coming of a greater god.

A creator, who had designed and given life to each of the gods. A creator that would eventually destroy their entire race, as he had many others.

The priests delved deeper into the hidden secrets of the verse to escape the bonds of mortality. But the powerful magic they discovered came with a high cost.

They bound Mithala in chains. And began drawing out his life force to power their song.

They executed “heretics” one by one. Forcing Mithala to feast… upon his own children.

Mithala began to change. His mind sank into the simple, dull anger of a beast. Eventually, he stopped shedding tears as he ate. The hunger had consumed him.

The rot inside of Mithala’s heart grew. His body became bloated and deformed. His flesh began to spread throughout the city, polluting the waters.

Drask, the Prince of the Mithalans had seen his family die at the hands of the priests and their mutated disciples. He confronted the priests, and though he could not prevent their escape, he did discover their secrets.

I wondered if he still lived somewhere… beyond this world.

Talking to Mithala

The vision began to fade, Mithala’s spirit was departing. For the first time I tried to reach out… to communicate…

Naija: Oh great Mithala! I need your help…

Mithala: Naija… I am dying now… It is my time to rest…

Naija: You have suffered so much, but I must ask a favor of you.

Mithala: Speak quickly, little one… For I do not have much longer…

Naija: Wh-who am I?

Mithala: You are the child of the thirteenth. You are the one who will unite the waters of aquaria. You will restore the balance of nature. And you will find love, Naija. You have so much to see, and you will become so much. There will be great pain… … But I have faith that you will triumph in the end. Take heart, little one.

Naija: …Thank you…

Mithala: It is growing cold, now… You have freed my spirit at last… …Now… Little Naija… take my form… …And journey… To the land of the light…

Gained Beast Form

In beast form, my strong animal legs allowed me passage through powerful currents. And my sharp, jagged teeth, provided invaluable for devouring my prey.

Gained Spirit Form

[After defeating the priests] After singing the song of the spirit form,  I would detach from my mortal frame - and enter a land between the living and the dead. Thankfully, I could only hold this form for brief distances - I did not wish to linger in that cold world long.

THE VEIL

Entering the Veil

These bright waters were warm and terrifying. The thought occured to me that I’d reached the end of the world. What if all that awaited me was a blazing inferno?

Though my mind was terrified… …my heart longed to venture further.

Crossing The Veil

The first taste of air, the warm embrace of the sun on my back… …The wind flowing beneath me… … I’d crossed through the veil.

For too many years I’d been smothered beneath the surface, blind to the beauty of Terra.

Meeting Li

I’d finally cornered the strange looking creature... He tried to flee from me again, but my curiosity was too great to allow his escape.

…

[Naija moves closer] He seemed to be trapped in this odd looking shell… …Perhaps if I removed it…

[Naija sings to remove Li’s helmet, he clutches at his throat and starts to drown] I was surprised to find that underneath this boy’s shell… He had a face not unlike my own. A face that seemed… familiar…

Without knowing what I was doing, I floated forward, pressing my lips against his.

A tune lept to my throat - one embedded deep within my memory. The verse flowed through me… …And bound itself around us.

Hours, days… perhaps seconds passed. I’d lost all concept of time. There was only the verse… and…

Li. His name rang in my head. This creature was called Li. We were so similar, and yet - not. I was intrigued.

The Verse waned slowly… …And we drifted apart until there was nothing but water between us.

Li gazed at me through half closed eyes. He seemed at peace… My mind faded…

[Naija awakes on the floor of Li’s cave] Slowly, I awoke… For a moment I had no idea where I was. Li returned, and I remembered…

It was odd to think that I was the only person left alive. I was aware of every flaw in my appearance - I felt exposed. Color rose to my cheeks and I struggled to hid my shame.

My connection to Li allowed him to exist within the waters without his awkward shell. It had also given him a new appetite for the creatures of the water. 

[Li offers Naija a fish. they go to eat fish together on beds of moss] As he ate, I could tell he was excited with his new abilities. We realized that we’d both ventured out to find answers…

We left that place knowing that together, We would be able to explore further than either of us could on our own.

For the first time in all my memory… … I was not alone.

Lumerian Vision

[After beating the boss at the end of the Sun Temple]

The Lumerians had left the waters of their birth… …For the bright, warm currents of the Veil.

Awed by their new surroundings, Many of them came to worship the great sphere of light, known as “Sun” With their adventurous spirit, came new ingenuity.

They learned to design elaborate mechanisms… …To survive in the foreign environment.

The god who bore them grew jealous of this sacrilege… …And in a blind rage… …destroyed them all.

Gaining Sun Form

In the sun form, I gained the ability to focus the verse into rays of light… …bringing clarity to shadowed depth.

KELP FOREST

Entering Kelp Forest

Never before had I encountered such a lush environment. Countless diverse creatures flowed between the tall stalks of kelp. I could not help but be awed by the infinite beauty of the natural world.

Gaining Fish Form

By entering the fish form, I became one with the simple creatures of Aquaria. I could swim past some of my enemies without detection, And navigate small passageways with ease.

Druniad Vision

The druniads lived in peace for many years, living in harmony with nature… …Until one day, without warning,  they experienced true fear for the first time.

A greater god, one with immense power, was ashamed of his creations. Through anguished tears, he screamed out, tearing the druniads apart in his turmoil.

Though he slaughtered their entire race, he could not bear to kill their mother… …And so, I had come to inherit her power.

Gaining Nature Form

Bark encased my skin, and moss sprouted from my back and head. In this form, the natural world whispered to me… …And I could feel the promise of creation stirring within.

Forest Sprite Cave

The forest nymphs rested, for their mother had imparted her gift to me. Now they sang a sweet melancholic verse. “Summer’s passion fades to Fall, and with Fall comes the hope of Winter.”

At the time I had no idea what it meant.

THE ABYSS

Entering the Abyss

Many deadly creatures lay waiting in the darkness of the Abyss. It would take a great deal of courage to proceed without a source of light.

Entering Sunken Ruins

Li was particularly excited by these ruins… …It was as if he recognized them.

They did not look like the work of Aquarians. I suspected that they were from beyond the Veil. Perhaps Li’s world was destroyed as well…

Following Ghost Child

[They find a ghost child crying, and then follow him through the ruins]

[The child enters a dark cave]

The ghostly child slipped away from me into the shadows. I felt that he must have known the path to the heart of these ruins… …but he was afraid.

I would have to lead him out of the darkness.

[Naija uses her Light Form to lead the ghost boy out. a ghostly form of his mother is on the other side, and begins to sing]

[The ghost child cries at the base of a dead tree. A ghost girl stands nearby in a patch of flowers. Naija uses her Nature Form to create a trail of flowers, leading the girl to the boy. She strokes his head, and he runs off again]

[Ghosts of other children are throwing rocks at the ghost child. A deep laugh is heard, and the other children turn into monsters. Naija defeats them with her energy form.]

[Naija sings the mother’s song to open a door further into the ruins]

[Naija drops rocks at the boy’s feet and he turns them into a statue of a woman with fins for ears. then two monsters appear]

Defeating the Monsters

From the fallen body of the monsters rose two spirits: A father… and a mother…

It was then that ---

[A portal appears, along with that same deep laughter. a tentacle emerges from it and wraps around Li, pulling him in. Naija calls after him]

Just like that… After so much… I was alone again. I felt empty… hopeless… For a moment - I considered giving up. What was the use?

But that feeling gave way to a boiling anger. Though it scared me to have such thoughts, I knew that I would hunt down that dark creature… …And kill it.

I would not be alone again.

[The ghost child follows Naija to the end of the ruins, and points the way forward into The Body]

THE BODY

[Li is imprisoned in a chamber inside the body]

Gathering Spirits

[Prince crystal] The spirit of the Prince of Mithalas…

[Krotite crystal] The spirit of a Krotite warrior…

[Erulian Crystal] The spirit of an Erulian Messenger…

[Druniad Crystal] The spirit of a Druniad from the Kelp Forest…

[After gathering the spirits, they help Naija shatter Li’s prison]

Gained Dual Form

In Dual Form, Li and I would bond together to become one new being. Our combined form had two sides, and by using each side properly- We could unleash a devastating attack.

Meeting The Creator

He spoke… …And his voice was forever burned into my memory… …In perfect… …Detail…

Creator: Your darkness is mine, little one. Your life is mine. I created all that you have witnessed… …And though you have struggled and fought… …It is all for nothing.

This world is my canvas. I will paint upon it whatever I see fit, Until I have completed my… masterpiece.

You, little Naija, are flawed. But you come from one who is - Perfection.

You will be my companion for the rest of eternity. You will have the honor of witnessing my final masterpiece.

Naija: But I am a conscious being, with my own hopes and desires… …I do not belong to you.

Creator: Yet it all sprang from my mind - my efforts! Ungrateful one! Bow before me and worship your creator!

Naija: No, I will not. I have lived free… I’ve explored beyond -

Creator: You have been allowed to play in my world. Now your turn is over. You will love me, and nothing else.

Naija: But have you ever truly loved? Has anyone ever willfully loved you?

Creator: YOU LOVE AN ABERRATION! A FOUL SYMBOL OF CHAOS!

Naija: Why does such a small creature frighten you so? Perhaps you’re not as powerful as you claim.

Perhaps… You can only control what lies in the water.

Creator: FOOL! I am a… GOD!

Naija: Perhaps you dream to be… …But I will never worship you.

Creator: Then… You must die.

Defeated The Creator

Child: On that day… …Everything changed… Everyone I ever loved was taken away in an instant… I should have died with them… Instead I was brought back.

The spirit that gave me life stayed inside me. It became a part of me

I had so much power… I could create anything I desired. I was so lonely… so I tried to make friends… …But they had minds of their own… …It made me jealous… …I wanted to feel loved again…

I remembered the time I felt the happiest… My mother’s song… So simple.. So beautiful… I could never remember the chorus… Only the Verse…

…It haunted me… I tried to get rid of the song… But it only spread through everything I made.

So I tried to make her… She was so beautiful in my mind… …But the ones I brought back were never the same. …Until I made Mia… …But she was too perfect… …She left me… and she made you…

There are still many things you don’t know Naija… …You may still be able to find her…

There’s been so much anger… so much beauty… …For hundreds of years… …But it all feels like a dream… …I think it’s time to stop dreaming now… …Sing me to sleep… …Sing to me like she did…

[Naija and Li pick themselves off the floor and leave The Body.] [Life returns to different parts of Aquaria]

THE END

As the waters flowed past me, I could feel my mind sinking away from adventure… …to a husband… …to a family…

Though my long journey was complete, and the world restored to the balance of nature… …I could not help but be drawn back, time and again… …To the vivid memories of my adventures.

The strange and marvelous places I had visited… …The fantastic creatures I had encountered… …And the spirits I had freed.

Perhaps a part of me still lingered in the past… …Floating amongst the shadows of forgotten ages.

I longed for the feeling of discovering new waters… …Striving for a destination that lay just beyond the next wave.

It would never come again.

MEMORIES

[Note: none of the memories have narration, so I've included descriptions & images of them instead since they're important to the story]

1, Mithalas

In a room in Mithalas, Naija and her mother sit at a kitchen table together.

2, The Veil

Li stands in a boat. Naija swims up to him and waves, then laughs and swims away. He stares after her in amazement.

3, The Abyss

Baby Naija in a cradle in a dark cave. Her mother kneels by her side.

SECRET ENDING

[Mia appears as the shrouded figure, then aside the shroud and reveals herself]

Mia: Naija… you’ve finally arrived.

Naija: Finally? Who are you? M-mother?

Mia: I have a name you know. Mia, he used to call me. His perfect little creation.

Naija: Mother… I…

Mia: Shhh… Come here…

[Mia and Naija hug]

Mia: Quiet now. All is well. He’s dead.

Naija: I-I killed him. But he was just a little boy!

Mia: Little boys are trouble, Naija.

Naija: I searched so long to find you… …Why didn’t you tell me who you were?

Mia: Oh Naija you silly girl. I always knew where you were. I was the one that wiped your memory.

Naija:  What… why?

Mia: It’s quite simple. You never would have become what you are now if I hadn’t.

Naija: What I am now… I’m a mother. A mother with a family!

Mia: Hmmhmm… Naija Naija… You’re in love with a human… One could hardly call a human a real person. No, no… you and I are meant for greater things my child. A mother… hah.

Naija: Let me go.

Mia: Oh no my dear… What would you do? Spend the rest of your life underwater? Burping babies and changing diapers? It’s time we rose above it all, my child. There are much greater worlds above ripe for the taking. With our power combined… We’ll be unstoppable.

Naija: Mia, I’m done. I’m done with fighting, I’m done with killing… I just want to go back to my family!

Mia: Heheheh… Silly girl.  You crave adventure. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have ended up here. Constantly searching, seeking out answers and killing… It’s what you do my dear.

Naija: No. Let me go back… Let me go!

Mia: Oh… there, there. It’ll probably be easier for me if I remove your conciousness for a time. Ah, there we are. We wouldn’t want anyone tracing any more of your memories now… …would we… There’s a good girl…

[Naija’s child views her memories via a crystal, and sets off in a flying ship to find her]

SONG LYRICS

Note: I tried to write down the lyrics to the songs Lost to the Waves, which plays in the end credits; and Fear the Dark, which is included in the official soundtrack but does not play in the game itself.

I've done my best, but I don't have a lot practice with this. It was difficult to understand some parts of the lyrics, especially parts where words overlap, and there may be a few mistakes.

Lost to the Waves

Lost at the heart of sea  Memories drift away  The past but a shade  Lost to the waves 

My journey here  A lifetime ago  And all that I was  Is lost to the waves 

Lost at the heart of sea (lost to the sea)  Memories drift away (they sit there [?])  The past but a shade (past but a shade)  Lost to the waves (lost to the waves) 

My journey here (my journey)  A lifetime ago (lifetime ago)  And all that I was (all that I was) Is lost to the waves

Fear The Dark

[Note: This song is not in the game, but is a part of the official soundtrack]

[Also while I'm here I want to share this AMV I found for it cause I'm really happy it exists]

Lost to the memory  Of a perfect soul  Deep in the shadows  Of unrelenting wounds  Can't disappear  Inside a dream  When pain opens up your heart 

You can fear the dark  And hope for the light  When you feel the pain inside  You can cry out loud and pray for the dawn  You'll find yourself in newborn eyes  And burn away the foolish lies  Of love 

You can't remember  Who you are  When you wake up  Alone in the dark  The love you felt  So far away  Fled from the darkness of your soul 

You can fear the dark  And hope for the light  When you feel the pain inside  You can cry out loud  And pray for the dawn  You'll find yourself in newborn eyes  And burn away the foolish lies  Of love  Love, love 

We were always meant to be  So you believed  Love would never ever end  Only a fool would watch as the stars  Faded into winter snow  Touched by the tears  Of falling angels screaming out  For one more chance  To feel first love again  Cursed with the memory of her breath 

In the dark In the light  In the cold heart beating out  To find  True love

In the cold  In the heat  In the fear that tomorrow never holds  True love 

In the dark (Lost at the heart of sea)  In the light (Memories drift away)  In the memories loving her in dreams (The past a shade)  Of true love (Lost to the waves) 

You're a fool (My journey here)  You're a saint  You are everything and nothing we lost (Lifetime ago)  True love (Lost to the Waves)  (All that I know) 

Every time you Keep on crying Hope is dead

Yes we had love once  Yes we had joy once  Yes we had light once  And we were one once  Yes we were young once  Yes we were fools once  Yes we had love once You were my whole world  You were my true friend  You were my light and dark  You were my everything 

You took from me my life  You took from me my worth  You took from me my death  Now I am nothing but 

An empty soul  In darkness crawling out  An empty soul  That once felt love 

An empty soul  In darkness spiraled out  The lies and dreams we shared  The key was in ourselves 

If I can trust myself  If I can heal our world  If I can free the bonds of love

Then we can kill the ghost  That haunts us everywhere  The ghost of love that never loved  The ghost of love that never loved 

Fear the dark  And hope for the light  When you feel the pain inside  You can cry out loud  And pray for the dawn  You'll find yourself in newborn eyes  And burn away the foolish lies  Of love  Of love  Of love

[nabi-unveiled]

Nabi Notices (May 28, 2025)

It's been a few weeks since I did one of these. Life got busy.

In funny/not-so-funny things, I got told at a family gathering this weekend that I need to "not take things so literally" and "to look for the meaning behind words". 🤣 And besides internally dying with laughter, I only had one thought....

I'm proud of myself. I didn't say it out loud at least. They obviously don't know me well. I guess it takes more than 20 years😅.

In blog world, I've been having a fantastic time thinking about tropes and exploring tags about older shows I enjoyed. @watchthisqqq and @my-rose-tinted-glasses -> I'm still working on my "Old QL tag game" post. Apparently dates are the detail I DON'T notice, and I've watched BLs and queer media in general for so long that they're all mixed up together in my head. I probably should've just went with the first five I thought of and could confirm were pre-2020 instead of trying to actually pick favorites. I'm never good at rankings.

The Things I Noticed This Week:

I'm watching a mix of currently airing and older stuff at the moment. I definitely have not watched everything that's currently airing, and I'm finding myself binging more lately. Frankly, with the way work is currently, binging or replaying episodes is easier. The fewer decisions I'm having to make in other areas, the better. LOL.

Fabulous Fit

Since it's been a few weeks, I'm going to post a few here.

My Stubborn - Episode 5

I love both of their outfits in this scene. Black tee and jeans is pretty much a sexy staple, but beyond that -> Boat wore it extremely well. Petition to just do casual dress day at the office from here on out. It's not like we're professionals anyways. And the cloud sweater? It pops up frequently, but I want it every single time.

Pit Babe 2 -> Episode 3

Do I love this shirt with it's heart cut out? Do I hate it? I haven't decided. But I KEEP thinking about it which says...something.

Light on Me

We all know I love a good sweater, but pairing it with a fun hat to match? It's a look that brought me joy. We have enough gimmicky country themed events around here for me to know that I'd wear it if the occasion served.

And not really an entire fit, but I loved the fact that Xiao Bai wore BOTH ear cuffs while they were apart in Fight for You. The food symbolism and finger bite in the NC scene were nice bonuses.

Fascinating Find

My main deep dive this past week was into all of the symbols of The Next Prince, because it's feeding my clown car theories. Main summary -> the blue flag has an asterism on it that represents the crocodile king. A figure that is NOT the good guy in Thai folklore. I never fear the snake easily spotted in the open as much as the one hidden in the grass.

Fantastic Frame

There have been a lot of frames I've enjoyed. I will continue to reblog pretty much every variation of the Ramil/Paytai scenes from this week. As many brilliant people have discussed, their scenes feature so much good framing and lighting. It's feeding my obsession with them a wee bit. Not that it was hard to do given the characters' dynamic.

But one that I haven't discussed -> this one in Boys in Love.

The siblings all together embracing each other, because they ARE a unit no matter what problems loom behind them. And while they may have some terrible parents, they are not without support. Their support crew just comes in the teenage variety. Watching over them joyfully in the background. No judgment, just ready to hop in the car if needed and lend a helping hand on their journey.

Fun Flourish

Knock Out easily won this category this week with episode 3. I often save this category for just small, whimsical additions or something random I noticed.

But this kiss through the barrier....

And the incredible use of oil demanded attention.

Between this and IFYLITA, Director Tee knows how to shoot an oil scene is all I'm saying.

Favorite Fragment

I do not think I have ever seen the word "fuddy-duddy" in a subtitle previously, but it's a term my mother uses ALL the time. I was cackling throughout this scene in The Untamed.

I also really enjoyed this bit of dialogue from Two Husbands, One Wife as Mia contemplates what it really means to be in a poly relationship.

It was such a great way of describing that in a throuple, there are three sides that are all connected without any one of them holding more importance than the others.

My Queue for the Coming Week:

As always, this is up to whim and fancy. I'm going to watch a lot of things that are NOT on this list. But here's the ones that I'm fairly certain I'll watch.

My Stubborn (Ep 7)

Two Husbands, One Wife (Ep 8)

The Next Prince (Ep 5)

The Untamed (I've finished through episode 3. I'm just going to chip away a bit at a time on this one. There are SO many episodes 😭.)

Moonlight Chicken (Ep 2)

Love for Love's Sake (Ep 6) -> maybe. This just depends on if I get a big enough chunk of time. I can't do this one while working or doing anything else since I'm liveblogging it.

[toskarin]

Do you have any good VN recommendations that have interesting or notable UIs? Most of the games I've played have stck with RenPy Standard or something similar where all the text is displayed through three-line bottom boxes one at a time.

hm... you didn't mention NVL style text, so just in case, I'll recommend that you try out Fate/stay night and Tsukihime (optionally Remake) if you haven't yet. those are what I'd consider to be very "core" VNs, and I'd feel negligent for not mentioning them if turned out you haven't played many games with that style of text yet

at the end of the day, the reason that ren'py looks like that is because most visual novels do (with a decreasing number of them being presented with fullscreen textboxes), so games that do things outside of that mould are notable for doing so

that aside! to answer your actual question, here's a couple text presentations I've personally found really charming

starting off strong by telling you I was fucking lying when I said this was a list of three games (I'm mentioning the Muv-Luv series first, rather than any individual game in it)

Muv-Luv sticks pretty close to the standard setup for horizontal textboxes, but you might notice that they're themed to look like anime subtitles. I've always been charmed by this, and it's probably the only mention here that actually warrants a screenshot just to clarify that it's actually a very visually distinct presentation

I'm not actually a Muv-Luv fan and the next game is one I personally enjoy more, but god, the presentation in Muv-Luv really is just so striking

Full Metal Daemon Muramasa features vertical text boxes, which isn't all that notable, except for the fact that these were retained in the translation (because characters use horizontal textboxes to indicate they're speaking english)

I actually really enjoy this style of presentation because it fills the space between two characters while also allowing for a wider background. when I'm looking for styles to steal for my own work, this one lingers in my head a lot

remember when I said I lied early on? I technically told you the truth when I said this was a list of three games. kind of. I'm mentioning one game and have to mention another game in the process. so this is a list of three games and one series.

of the two, Analogue: A Hate Story was definitely the game that seemed to occupy people's memories the longest into present day, but the presentation of Digital: A Love Story was much more striking to me. that being said, I'd be remiss not to mention them in a discussion on VNs that do interesting things with the UI

-

bonus round:

I haven't actually gotten around to CHAOS;HEAD yet, but I want to make an honourable mention of it either way because I really like the hard letterbox of the original release. from what I've seen, it doesn't seem to be present in CHAOS;HEAD NOAH, though

I can't recommend it or recommend against it, but I can say "that looks neat!"

[rigelmejo]

Chinese Listening Experiment 441 hours

I again reiterate that the biggest takeaway I have from this experiment is: if you have decent reading skills, extensive listening WILL drag your listening skills up to where your reading skills are.

Particularly if you listen to stuff you could read, but many things probably would work. I mostly used audiobooks I'd read in Chinese, and audiobooks I knew the stories from reading English versions but had not actually read in Chinese. That worked great. That worked better than expected to be honest.

No intensive listening necessary - though maybe that could have sped progress up. Maybe audio-visual stuff like cartoons would have worked faster. I only did a little watching of cartoons and shows, but definitely noticed they also worked.

But yeah. My main takeaway is - listening WILL improve if you just listen more!!!! At least, if you already had reading skills - so you knew many words in some form.

Right now my listening skills are just a touch below my reading skills, and I predict they'll catch up within a dozen hours or so. I can now comfortably listen to anything I could read in Chinese. It's just if I was reading, I'd have more time and the hanzi look at to recognize certain words, that in listening I don't recognize instantly yet.

I am 100% using this strategy to improve my French next time I have time. Extensive listening is EASY. It just requires listening. No extra work, no flashcards, no rewinding and replaying, no word lookups, no reading along to a transcript (although I think all of those activities also would help listening skills). Just listening while doing other things, paying partial attention (for me - who has been listening to Chinese stuff any time I'd normally be partly listening to some English stuff).

I am curious of the utility of doing this for Japanese for me, as I know ~3000-5000 words in Japanese, but I do not have such a heavy experience of reading prior, I've only read a few things in Japanese, so most of the exposure to those words was in memrise/anki or in Glossika. I predict it might go... alright? I think if I started with Nihongo Con Teppei and listened to ALL of it, some other learner podcasts like Japanese with Shun, maybe the Comprehensible Japanese youtube channel, then listened to some Lets Plays of video games I've played, that would get me pretty fucking far. I imagine it might push me up to actually feeling fucking B1/lower intermediate in terms of understanding Japanese.

But Japanese is a weird situation for me: I can read novels I do NOT know the verbal words for because of hanzi-near-cognates with kanji-words, I know verbal words from Glossika that I never learned the kanji-word for, I know some kanji-word INCLUDING pronunciation from when I studied with memrise and audio, and those spheres of 'words I know' does not fully overlap. I also have a lot of basic grammar knowledge, in that I've read a LOT of grammar guides for Japanese and listened to sentences enough in Glossika/Japanese Audio Lessons to get used to some grammar without thinking about how it's working. So I either totally "get" the grammar of a phrase/sentence I'm hearing and understand without thinking, or it seems vaguely familiar and I puzzle it out, or I don't recognize it at all. The Japanese I know is all over the fucking place, not reliable and not consolidated. If I watch something like Death Note I can understand so much just from the spoken words and plot I know already, with something like Yakuza games I understand short phrases and simple statements "I'm tired, he's an old sad guy, I appreciate it" etc. then hear full sentences I can't parse. I can play Yakuza Ishin in only Japanese and follow the main idea, but I am leaning on kanji in the subtitles which I guess the meaning of from Hanzi I know.

TLDR: if your reading skills are intermediate (you can read some stuff), then your listening skills will eventually catch up if you just keep practicing listening.

I imagine this is also true in reverse - if you have intermediate listening skills (can understand some shows/cartoons/audiobooks), then simply extensively reading a lot will eventually catch up your reading skills.

[ravenwolfie97]

okay i have to talk about this because it's been really bothering me lately and i need to say something before i explode

so lately i've been noticing on many videos, shortform or otherwise, that they include subtitles! awesome! super helpful and cool

but idk if it's always been a problem and i'm only noticing it now, or if it's gotten particularly bad lately, but... recently a lot of those subtitles are really really bad

slight tangential anecdote: i used to do some freelance captioning work in between real job hunting, and it was a good experience. i was already interested in doing it, obviously, but i was coached on proper captioning etiquette and guidelines to make it look as nice and readable as possible while also transcribing the audio as best as i could before my superiors would touch it up. so i do know a thing or two about proper subtitling, but even if you didn't you would Know that there are some serious problems right now

i'll give a few non-specific examples (bc i'm too lazy to hunt them down to show you). there is a pretty popular (i think) youtube shorts personality who mostly does reaction-based videos, like i think it's actually mostly tiktok stitches reuploaded to yt shorts. but anyway this person, along with most other tiktok people who have subtitles for their lil internet rambles, are probably only basing off of their voice, like there's some kind of auto-caption that gets most of the words right, save for a couple small ones. i can understand that especially for the reaction/vlog crowd who are just trying to pump out videos, but like. i also follow john and hank green. they also reupload their tiktok stitches to yt shorts and have subtitles. and guess what? they're flawless. immaculate. you Can change them. or maybe they just talk better idk my point still stands that there is issue here stemming from having the computer do it with minimal to no touch-up. which leads me to my next example

one of the first nails in the coffin recently was this one pokemon youtube shorts guy i kept getting where he'd look into old game saves. all of the videos are subtitled, but similar to the tiktoks, it appears to be transcribing the voice on its own. what's worse and the most important here is that - remember - this is a series of pokemon videos. saying a pokemon name and expecting an AI to understand what that is out the gate is insane. and it doesn't. any time a pokemon's name is said, it just spews out words that are vaguely similar-sounding standard english words. and it's never the same each time too, which is fun. this is where taking the time to edit or even give a smidge of a damn to the craft of your video really would mean a lot, because for as many as i've seen it turns me even more off every time i see those shitty subtitles. but unfortunately that's not the worst i've seen in the last few days

the one that hurt me so much i physically could not stand it, to the point that i left a Comment on how bad it was, was an edit of a streamer's twitch VOD. normally, this streamer uploads snippets of their streams to yt shorts and has really good and well-edited captions there! i usually have nothing to complain about from this guy. but this one particular video... i don't know if it's because it's an older VOD and someone's just been holding on to it for months, or if it was a huge rush job, or What. but this video had literally the worst captions i had ever seen. they were just slapped down in chunks, not even lining up with the people who were talking, a negligible amount of punctuation, literally the barest minimum of effort. but that's not all! let's not forget that this is an edited clipshow, and there are Effects and Transitions for not only the video itself but the text as well! so SOME amount of effort was put into this because it got actually edited into a decent-sized video instead of just being a small clip. it's literally makes me sick i am so unhappy about it

main point, TL;DR, moral of the story: for the love of all that is holy, please remember that captioning is literally an accessibility feature. some people cannot hear or are unable to listen to videos sometimes, and i can't imagine what a hearing-impaired person who relies on subtitles to engage with videos would think watching either of my last two examples. what makes it worse, too, is that i can't even tell these people to hire someone to do it for them, because oftentimes they DO have people to do that work for them. and they still fuck it up. and then they continue on, to churn out more content. ugh just take a moment to remember that captions are not just for engagement. they're a tool, and some people can use only those as their guide through your video. don't make it impossible to parse. the purpose of them is to be read and understood. and you can't do that if the sentences are in overlapping chunks or if your words are too non-standard to be translated by a computer

[vispero]

So, about previous Genshin and Luckae or Kaeluc ship.

I need to clarify some things. (Also don't mind mistakes, English isn't my first language.)

To me fictional content isn't some "example" you should follow irl. It's more about experiencing something you actually -can't- do irl. And as far as you not doing something bad/illegal, you free to like, create and enjoy any character and ships. There is actual laws about content which is allowed or now, and if someone just don't like something but it's allowed by site rules, then by no means anyone should blame, troll or hate people who create -allowed- content. Block button is a thing and it's better to use it than make "fandom" "hatedom".

All my life I was playing games, mostly Jrpg (final fantasy, tales of etc.). And in my childhood translations usually was bad or awful :') Years later I finally was able to check original scripts and yep, there was a lot of "new" facts. So even now, while I playing with Japanese audio and English or other subtitles, I often compare what I hear and what I see, and there sadly a ton of differences, some major, some minor (same goes about just text without audio, and it's more difficult to compare sadly). Should localisation team change facts to make it more appealing for their audience? Idk, honestly. To me original script and ideas always come first and translations and adaptations second, it shows what authors meant initially and I'm here for that. But even if someone prefer translations/localisations, then they shouldn't be arrogant and going so far as telling that only their opinion valid while ignoring Original (in Genshin case - Chinese) version and it's enjoyers.

Now about Kaeya and Diluc. I didn't know anything about them when I started playing. And after some of first quests I actually catched myself thinking "Damn, there is so nice chemistry there, I'm all here for that!" Muuuch later piece by piece I learned about their story. I also found post about Chinese version about their relationship, it was really educational. (I need to clarify that incest isn't my cup of tea, I'm not judging or anything, just not my thing. Idk if I'm bad person because of that but honestly I don't think I should tell anyone what they should like/ship. Also see 1th paragraph.) But in Kaeya and Diluc case I don't see them as actual brothers, adoptive or not. There is more interesting and complicated situation and I'm here for that, I like difficult relationships in media. And if Chinese players explained about "sworn brothers" trope, then it's clear why Genshin creators went with it. Western fandom can accept it or not because of English translation, but they honestly shouldn't force their opinion on those who don't see them as actual brothers. I don't think it's that hard?

I'm not really caring about what some people think about me online. I'm not drawing anything shocking (I hope xD), so people can like or don't like my opinion/artworks, but it's more about preferences than anything else. Most of my works very SFW or with some R rating (because of blood/dark theme), but I strongly support all artists and writers, sfw of nsfw.

And yep, I ship Diluc and Kaeya. In more Chinese trope style (perspective), so if someone don't like it just ignore me. I'm really glad I found this ship, they have complicated and dramatic story and I'm here for that. So "Hi" to all fellow shippers <3

P.S. I'm more Luckae person but you probably won't notice it in my artworks, they mostly G-PG13 anyway.

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Team Tokyo First Years Headcanons

(Ft. Yuji, Megumi, Nobara, Gojo & Sukuna)

Gojo created a group chat with all three students to coordinate things. However, he never knows if Megumi reads the texts because he never says anything (he does), and all Yuji does is send memes, so basically that's its only function now.

Yuji and Nobara created a game: try to take a picture of Gojo with his blindfold off. He takes it off frequently, it's just impossible to catch an image of it. Surprisingly, Megumi of all people has gotten the closest. If you squint, you can see the baby blues.

This escalated into "who can take the ugliest picture of someone without them looking", after capturing an image of Yuji standing next to Gojo's desk with almost four chins. Nobara discovered she has many bad angles and Gojo discovered he's photogenic from ALL angles.

Yuji likes to use Nobara's ugly pictures as reaction images and memes. At first, Nobara beat him up whenever he did, but now as long as they don't leave the first-year chat she doesn't care. She'll even supply them if she's feeling silly.

Gojo started a prank war on accident and it shows no sign of stopping. It started because he enjoys Nobara's over the top reactions. When she found the LIVE snake in her bed (oh boy, everyone's soooo lucky she's good with reptiles), she immediately suspected this was Yuji's doing. She pranked him, he got her back, Megumi walked into a prank on accident, he got them back twice over, and now it just won't stop. Gojo was fully prepared to deal with the consequences, but he isn't complaining.

The First Year prank war is pretty well known around the school, and everyone's learned to stay away from anything that looks suspicious.

Gojo uses this to his advantage too; sometimes he'll pull pranks on the first and even second years just to watch them blame each other. He's even gone as far as pranking Principal Yaga hoping that he would blame the kids, but Yaga knows for a fact it's Gojo. He hasn't done anything about it though. This stresses Gojo.

Most of the time, when they eat out, each student pays for their meal. When Gojo's there he pays for all four of them, and if Yuji tries to use the "I don't have any money" excuse when Nobara decides to stop for a coffee, she'll buy him one too. She holds it against him, though.

If his kids are all craving a certain type of food (i.e. Chinese) Gojo will head out and pick it up and they'll all eat as a family.

Nobara proposed once a month they have a "spa" day. Surprisingly, the other two students agreed. She's allowed to give them manicures and pedicures (so long as she doesn't get carried away), trim and treat their hair, exfoliate their faces, and they help her re-dye her hair. Megumi is a good client, while Yuji gets bitched at a lot for squirming while getting his nails clipped and jerking when he gets his eyebrows plucked.

Yuji also proposed they have a movie night every Friday night. If they're busy, they'll move it to Saturday, or have it earlier in the day during the week. Sometimes the second years will join. Gojo is banned because he's basically seen every movie and always spoils the end. Everyone got mad at Yuji's request to use subtitles but gave up arguing with how loud Yuji chews.

They also have game nights, but they lost the pieces to most board games after Nobara threw them out the window, Megumi is the only one who knows how to play chess and Shogi, and Yuji fears the safety of his controllers after Megumi got dangerously close to beating Nobara in Smash. 

Yuji's room is the main hangout joint because of the electronics he owns. Literally, there's a whole ass common/living room for them to use. However, they go to Nobara's room for a spa day, as long as the boys are gone by sundown.

Gojo knows damn good and well his kids don't like each other in that way and would never have sex with each other, but he still feels the need to give them the talk ™. He's literally given each child a free box of condoms just in case. 

Gojo bought each student customized "if lost, please return to Jujutsu Tech" shirts. Yuji doesn't mind wearing his because it's just another hoodie to him, and Nobara doesn't mind hers because it's a crop top and it's cute. Megumi burned his in front of Gojo. 

Nobara takes the boys shopping a lot. Megumi is surprisingly good at picking out clothes that fit Nobara's physique and taste, and Yuji is there to hype her up when she walks out of the dressing room. He also isn't scared to tell her a dress doesn't look good on her, and she respects that.

Sometimes even Sukuna will pop out and give commentary. He gives really mixed signals, sometimes he tells her how she's not much to look at, sometimes he talks about the things he wants to do to that ass because of how good they look in those jeans. This results in Yuji getting slapped, Nobara yelling something like "Shut it, Fang Face!" And people staring at him funny because of it.

She also buys outfits for the boys and occasionally Gojo, because she's tired of hoodies and black. She was just as shocked as the rest when Megumi walked out in his outfit. He only wore it to shut her up, though, and hasn't worn it since.

No matter what they're doing, Yuji is ALWAYS the DJ. He has playlists for almost every occasion (spa day, sparring practice, car rides, game nights, even the times they just chill in the same room on their phones) and the only person that really complains is Sukuna, but only because he hates the Backstreet Boys.

Yuji bursts out in song a lot. No matter what he's doing, he'll just start singing. If they know it, Nobara and Gojo will join in too. Always ends in a giggle fit.

Sometimes Gojo's hand slips and boom! He has 18 dozen cookies instead of 4. He's been known to wrap the cookies up in nice tins and packages and leave them outside the kid's doors.

Gojo has also been known to cook meals for the kids and drop them off. This helps because Megumi is basically the only one who can actually cook. Yuji thinks instant ramen is okay for every meal, and Nobara burns food in a way it's still edible but you don't really want it.

The kids play wrestle, a lot. Yuji was scared to at first because the only one who really wants to fight is Nobara, but he learned quickly she can both take and deliver a punch just fine. She also isn't one of those girls that gets upset if there's an accidental grope, which is cool.

This is how the others discovered Megumi is ticklish. Yuji probably still has the scar and Nobara doesn't dare try to tickle him again.

Yuji fell asleep once and woke up to Sukuna's mouth on his cheek having a full-blown conversation with Nobara while she was reading a magazine. He swears they were gossiping about boys, but as soon as Yuji was awake enough to pay attention, Sukuna noticed and started bullying him. To this day Nobara still thinks she was talking to Yuji the whole time because she never noticed he fell asleep.

Yuji can fall asleep almost anywhere. Nobara draws on his face a lot. He's spent countless nights on Megumi's floor just because he's too lazy to move literally one room over.

Nobara has a habit of walking into the boys' rooms without knocking. Megumi is usually laying in bed on his phone or sitting at his desk, however, she's walked into Yuji doing some weird shit. Not gross shit, just... Concerning shit.

Once she walked in on him crying and didn't know what to do. She just kinda walked in and sat down with him until he stopped, occasionally rubbing his back. They didn't say a word until Yuji made a joke and Nobara continued with why she even came into his room, to begin with.

The three students are surprisingly supportive of each other like that, it's just kinda awkward and passive-aggressive at times. Sometimes they even confide in Gojo, and he takes it seriously, surprisingly.

Gojo has a Tik Tok account. He participates in every challenge, every dance, every trend, and apparently has a huge following. Yuji gets featured in the videos sometimes when he isn't recording, and he's mostly doing the stupid shit Gojo does, like doing backflips on building ledges.

While Tik Tok is Gojo's forte Yuji has done video game commentary on twitch and yt live. Megumi is quite popular on subreddits about urban legends and related folklore, and Nobara helps maintain blogs about current events, but... It's mostly celebrity gossip and new music.

Every Saturday is chore day and no one's allowed to do leisurely activities or leave until they're done. Rooms and hallways have to be vacuumed, swept, mopped, whatever. Gojo checks that the rooms aren't dirty. He doesn't mind clutter, he just hates wrappers and shit being left around. He especially pays attention to the cleanliness of the bathrooms for some reason. Megumi is good about cleaning his room throughout the week, Nobara usually just has clutter on her nightstand and dresser, and Yuji waits until the last minute to clean.

The first years used to do their laundry separately, but Nobara threw a temper tantrum when she witnessed Yuji just throw all of his clothes in the washer at once and simply turn it on. Now normally, she wouldn't help anyone get out of work, but she also likes things being done the right her way, so she does his laundry for him. Megumi got involved somehow and now they throw all of their clothes in the same basket and divide them by darks, colors, whites, and delicates. She refuses to let any of their overly- soiled clothes touch hers, so those usually get their own wash too. Each student folds and puts away their own clothes. 

Most arguments end with rock paper scissors. Pinkie promises are also sacred.

Gojo keeps a sticker board in the classroom. Whenever the kids do something good, they get a star. Whenever they do something bad, one gets taken away. When they get to five stickers they get a prize from the treasure box.

No one has gotten to five stars yet. This is good because there is no treasure box. Gojo is bullshitting everyone.

Yuji likes to steal Megumi's stickers because he thinks Megumi will not notice. He does every time.

Gojo has a stool in the corner of the classroom complete with a horribly cliche dunce cap he calls "the Naughty Corner" for when the kids "act up". Nobara ends up there because she's always on her phone, Megumi mouths off a lot and has days where he doesn't feel like doing work, and poor Yuji ends up in the naughty corner because Sukuna can't behave.

[strabius-berry]

Feel free to ignore but I just need to rant for a moment.

I'm really annoyed with the way English subtitles are being handled lately. This is gonna focus on the anime Komi Can't Communicate, licensed by Viz Media, but I've also noticed this with animes licensed by Funimation like Boku no Hero Academia. Lately, English subtitles for the Japanese versions are jumping right into adapting their jokes or sayings into something the English speaking audience would understand, and this is normally okay since it makes for less having to explain the joke to an audience that wasn't brought up on it. But the thing is this should only be done in the English dubs, which are already meant to adapt the language and ways of speaking to an English audience. The point of subtitles is so we can understand what they are saying in their own language, even if it involves having to explain the joke in translator notes. But many times I have found myself having to look up what the onscreen text was saying when it was clear to me from first glance that it wasn't what the subtitles were saying. Case in point: Komi's joke.

This reads "futon ga futton da" which translates directly as "the futon flew off". The joke doesn't translate into English but phonetically you can tell it's a Japanese pun.

In the English dub, they adapted this joke to one that fits in our language with "the bedbug bugged the bed", which hits just as well as the Japanese version. It would be fine if this was only in the dub, but when watching the Japanese version, the subtitles kept the dub's translation and not the accurate one. This creates misinformation for those who don't have a basic understanding of the Japanese language and could lead them to think "futon" means "bedbug" when it doesnt.

Second case in point: Ochako getting flustered.

The text surrounding her do not say what she is saying, and even she herself is not saying what the subtitles say. The joke in this scene is that Mina accused her of being in love, or

恋/koi, and her reaction is to question what her meaning is with "鯉/koi" "故意/koi" "濃い/koi". Every single word on screen is pronounced "koi", so it's like she's asking for clarification on what Mina means by saying "koi", even though she clearly knows what she meant.

Yes, the "love? shove? dove?" translates faster and is just as effectively into English, but it works better in the dub, it's not accurate to the meaning of the Japanese language in sub.

Look, I don't know if this is a result on dubbing/subbing companies wanting to spend less time/money into adapting or whatever, but I can remember watching a fansub of the original Digimon Adventure for the first time, and the translator notes took the time to explain the reason Koushiro performed stand up comedy to his parents after they asked him through his bedroom why he was speaking in a particular dialect, was because at the time his digimon Tentomon spoke in kansai dialect. As an English speaker, I would have never understood that, so the translator notes provided knowledge that would have gone over my head before.

Likewise, fansubs for the japanese version of the game Sonic Colors had lots of moments when explaining the joke to me came in handy with increasing my knowledge. For instance, when Tails tries using his device to translate what Yacker was saying, it first translated it's name to "soccer", and when he does get it right, Sonic jokes "are you sure his name isn't yakyuu?" Which is the japanese word for "baseball", while providing the motion of hitting a ball with a bat. The joke is how similar Yacker and yakyuu sound together, and the fact that soccer and baseball are both sports; it's punny. Sure, it doesn't translate into English, but that's not the point. We should be more eager to explain the jokes from other languages so that we can expand our knowledge. Most non-English languages dont know "no prob, Bob" is an English speaking pun. We take these things for granted since it comes so naturally to us, but I am always excited to learn and understand the puns and jokes in other languages, and I want to believe I'm not alone in that despite the shallow translations from big dubbing companies.

[etto-etto]

JRR #2: August 1 - August 13, 2020 

If you saw this earlier and noticed it was a giant wall of text, that’s because posting drafts from mobile seems to erase all links and other formatting in my posts. Note to self. Anyway: here’s to another set of resources. 

Yuki’s Japanese TV: He’s got a variety of video content from JLPT and grammar to vocab but also topics like food and life during a pandemic. What makes his channel extra special in my book (can you guess?) is that he speaks in Japanese. He does have some in English, and others where he speaks both, but as far as grammar—it’s in Japanese (from what I’ve seen). If that sounds intimidating, he hard subs a lot of his sentences (still in Japanese) and supplies graphics to help demonstrate points, so even if you don’t understand all that he says it’s still difficult to feel lost with Yuki.  

Automatic Japanese: I am in love with Asari’s channel! Most of her videos are spoken in Japanese and accompanied by Japanese and English subtitles (that she herself makes). She speaks with clarity and in a fair pace that I feel isn’t too fast or too slow, plus she’s given me some pretty solid learning tips this week. I also recommend checking out her IG! 

Learning Language with Youtube BETA: something I discovered from Asari! It’s similar to the LLN extension, but for YouTube. 

Learn Japanese with Noriko: a podcast in Japanese for listening practice, of course. But I love this one a little more because she offers some (limited) transcripts on her site, and that makes it a little easier (and more fun) for me to follow along. 

Erin’s Challenge! I Can Speak Japanese: having never used Erin’s Challenge, I’m not sure if this is an update of the old content or entirely new, but it’s here and ready to help you learn Japanese╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ ˂ᵒ͜͡ᵏᵎ⁾✩ It’s a series of basic and advanced skit videos with additional parts like key phrases, scripts, and manga for onomatopoeia. I went into Lesson 7 and found it to be, yeah–completely cheesy–but also fun!  

Hito’s World: a fun game for learning kanji that I think is best for beginners–either that, or for hammering in the romaji spellings. Or at least in regards to the level I’ve worked up to. (And speaking as someone who never remembers which way is left or right–as in I literally bombed the same A&P quiz twice because I confused left and right–I really have to think about whether I need to type 右 or 左. It’s… a mental exercise.) I wish it allowed or accepted hiragana, but I know it’s a WIP. You can also join r/Hito and check out the road map. 

Tobira Vocabulary: Anki deck for Tobira (obviously). Beware: although it says it’s a complete vocab set, I’ve read two comments that claim otherwise. 

Tobira Kanji: includes kanji and vocab from all Tobira chapters. Another option if Anki’s not your thing (+ it may actually contain all vocab?). I’ve tried both the Tobira Anki deck and Memrise course, and I actually prefer Memrise in this case. But that’s just me. 

Learning ENG & JPN: I did a lot of hunting to find this again, and I almost thought it was a lost resource---this is a blog run by a native Japanese speaker who is learning English. Posts are short and written in both English and Japanese while containing interesting tidbits about Japan and its culture. 

Oshaberi Izakaya: this is a completely free way to get in some speaking practice with other learners organized by Japanese teacher Izumi Ise. They meet up a few times a month, but you’re not required to attend all meetings. 

Japanese Learner Cafe: similar to the one above, this provides a means to practice speaking. The on-site English allows room for needed clarity, but this is also through Zoom and I therefore assume 100% free. If anyone decides to try it I’d be interested to know what your experience was like!

[writingbeary]

Kingdom - To The World (pt.1)

Minyoung’s Outfit

Note:

Texts placed inside brackets are Kingdom’s show subtitles

Italicized texts are in English

Texts that are block quoted are interview cuts

────────── ♔ ──────────

“We have a lot of songs that go well with the theme ‘To the World’, so it’s a relief. We decided that we’ll continue what ATEEZ has been doing.” Hongjoong declared during the group interview after the theme was released.

As the teams arrived in their individual waiting rooms, the first thing they noticed is the queue sheet pasted on the wall. Minyoung the first one inside the room, ran to the poster to check which order they got.

“Omo!” Minyoung cheered, jumping around the waiting room, making the others immediately check what she’s dancing about.

“Why? Why?” Yunho asked as he entered the room followed by the rest of the members.

“We’re performing 5th!” Minyoung announced still jumping around the waiting room in joy. She took Jongho’s hands and made him jump with her, the latter going along with her laughing.

"It seems like my telepathy to Changbin worked.” Wooyoung declared jokingly. The whole group feeling relieved that they weren’t performing first this round. When asked what order they wanted to perform in, they wanted to go as late as possible. Although it’ll give them pressure to do better as they watch the senior groups’ performances, they felt their stage would have a bigger impact the later they perform.

“Does that mean you’ll use up most of your glowsticks before our performance?” Yunho asked eyeing the bag Minyoung is carrying. She excitedly told them about how she bought the sticks in replacement of the lightsticks for the groups and about how she kept her promise to represent all fandoms in the show.

“I can’t believe she actually bought some just to prove she’s a fan.” San laughed when Minyoung playfully stuck out her tongue at him

“I wanted to bring my lightsticks but since we still have a schedule after this, I was forbidden from doing so.” Minyoung pouted bringing out the package of glow sticks “This is the closest thing I could bring.”

“Don’t you have key rings?” Jongho asked as Minyoung gasps in realization.

“I do! Ah..but I only have iKON-sunbaenim’s key ring. I wasn’t able to buy anything else.” 

Chuckling, Yeosang offered another alternative for the girl “Then just use Lightiny and change it’s color to every group’s official colors?”

Minyoung gaped at the suggestion, nodding and quickly hugging Yeosang in her excitement “Oh! I didn’t think of that. I’ll do that for the next recording then. Thank you oppa!”

(At Stray Kids’ meeting)

“How about we place ATEEZ as the first performer?” Jisung suggested as everyone was contemplating on who should go first after Jeongin suggested iKON since they went last or THE BOYZ since they have prior experience with Road to Kingdom.

“Are you sure about that? Minyoung will have your head if you do that. Wooyoung will probably have mine too.” Changbin laughed already seeing how the girl would react when she sees it.

“On second thought, nevermind. Please don’t put ATEEZ at the first slot. I need to live. Minyoung-ah, I’m sorry. I won’t do that again.” Jisung said dramatically to the camera, making the whole group laugh at his antics.

Changbin placed the rest of the nameplates on the board “Let’s go 4th, then place ATEEZ after with SF9 last.” checking to see the rest of the group’s reaction before continuing “I’m satisfied with this but should we go first or ATEEZ first?”

“Let’s go first.” Seungmin declared with I.N agreeing with him “Let’s go first. We just need to do better.” the confidence in the statement making all of Stray Kids excited

“What if ATEEZ leaves a strong impact with their performance?” Felix asked the group after looking at the whole lineup

“We don’t know about that. But if it’s ATEEZ, it’s going to be big. Their energy on stage is what they’re known for after all.” Changbin shrugged as he knows what the group is capable of.

“Right. I’m sure they’ll do something surprising this round.” Felix nodded as they decided to let it up to fate and just perform 4th. Just like how Seungmin declared, they just needed to do better and that’s what they’ll aim for.

(During THE BOYZ’s Stage)

“This is it.” San exclaimed pointing at the screen.

“Quiet. Don’t speak.” Wooyoung cutting San off as he focused on the screen

Minyoung scooted her chair closer to Seonghwa, making herself comfortable hugging his arm as if they were just watching a show at their dorms. One hand holding up a glow stick to represent a lightstick for all the groups that will be performing.

“The water froze. Omo. Now it’s fire. Are they going for the theme Game of Thrones for the whole show?” Minyoung said under her breath afraid Wooyoung would scold her. She gasped when she realized how the camera looks like a game point-of-view, as if one is wearing VR headsets. 

When the fire went out, Minyoung slapped Seonghwa’s arm in realization. “They cannot be together because they’re Ice while the lady is Fire. Omo” The latter already used to the girl’s habits chuckled, patting her hand as he returned his focus on the performance.

“He’s hanging up there! Is he going up now? That’s sick!” Wooyoung exclaimed in awe as Sunwoo’s part came in.

“How are they coming up with that?” Seonghwa wondered outloud when Juyeon danced in front of the white sheet. “THE BOYZ really works well with their concepts.” Yunho added engrossed at the stage

“THE BOYZ-sunbaenim’s dance is really knife-like. They’re all in sync with each other.” Minyoung said catching herself and closing her mouth which was open throughout the performance. “Will we be able to do that too?”

“Yah. Do you want us to die? Don’t drag everyone in, just try it with the dance line and be satisfied with that please.” Hongjoong jokingly warned the girl while Yeosang let out a laugh shaking his head “Please don’t give her ideas.”

“So it started with snow and ended with fire?” San asked outloud still processing what happened when Minyoung pouted and answered him “I told you. THE BOYZ-sunbaenim are Ice while the lady was fire which is why they couldn’t be together!”

“That was awesome.” Hongjoong commented as the stage ended

“I knew they would pull it off, but Juhaknyeon kept saying ‘We already tried everything.’ But look at them!” Wooyoung ranted feeling betrayed by his friend

“Also, No Air means out of air.” Jongho started then Wooyoung gasped as if suddenly realizing the concept. “Oh, is that why they started underwater?”

“Then the water froze.” San added in “The freezing part was the start.” 

“I suddenly got goosebumps.” Yunho replied recalling the moments of the performance

“I already told you guys. You’re not listening to me.” Minyoung sulked, making Seonghwa laugh lightly and pat her back. “Don’t worry Minyoung-ah. I heard you.” Minyoung leaned her head on the eldest saying “This is why you’re the best oppa.”

“Like always, THE BOYZ-sunbaenim did such a fantastic job.” San concluded with the others agreeing.

(During iKON’s meeting)

[iKON called SF9 Chani for help with song recommendations]

Chani: It’s a secret but..when I was filming <Sky Castle>..

Yunhyeong: You filmed that with ATEEZ’ Minyoung right? That drama?

Chani: Yes. I did it with Minyoung. When we were filming for the drama, the two of us listened to <Killing Me> a lot.

Yunhyeong: <Killing Me>? Why?

Junhoe: Was the drama killing you? *laughs*

Chani: It was challenging to film the drama. That’s one reason, but the song comforted me a lot. I mean it. You can ask Minyoung about it too since we both found comfort with it.

iKON members: *laugh* <Killing Me>

[An interesting choice for the 2 acting idols]

DK: Acting must have been so hard *chuckle*

Bobby: It must’ve been tough for it to be <Killing Me>

Chani: The song really hit home for me

(During iKON’s stage)

“What song did iKON-sunbaenim pick? It must have been really tough to pick from all their songs.”  Minyoung asked scooting a bit closer to the monitor

“Is it <Love Scenario>?” Wooyoung gasped as the MCs hinted that the song they chose made iKON rank number one a lot. 

“But when I saw iKON-sunbaenim in the hallway, they were all wearing black so for it to be <Love Scenario>... Did they rearrange the song completely?” Minyoung wondered out loud as the hints all point toward Love Scenario.

“The number of views is reflected on the points. <Love Scenario> is widely known by among international fans.” Jongho noted remembering the criteria for the point system.

“That’s right. So they’re more likely to rank higher this time around.” San nodded

“Oh? She disappeared.” Yunho exclaimed surprised as Bobby came into the screen with his arms around a girl who suddenly disappeared.

“The End. Love Scenario’s lyrics are really sad despite the bright music. Are they changing it up to be more dramatic?” Minyoung asked as the music is still bare except the piano chords in the background.

“I feel like I’m watching a movie” Hongjoong commented as tune continued on when suddenly the accompaniment changed into a musical style song. Minyoung was singing along softly in her seat as the chorus played.

Yunho looked at Minyoung and nudged her lightly when DK’s solo part came again. He was grinning slightly while Minyoung slapped his arm lightly. “Don’t.” was all Minyoung said just as the music changed into Killing Me.

“Omo. He fell! Oh no. What is happening? Why is the camera blocking-..why is it so dark.” Minyoung confused at what is happening then the drop in the music made her gasp in surprise “That line! It’s..from Big Bang song. Omo.” Seonghwa had to hold on to Minyoung’s chair to stop her from scooting closer to the monitor.

ATEEZ all exclaimed when Chanwoo threw the lighter as the fire effects happened in the background. “This is it.” Wooyoung commented as the whole group bobbed along with the beat.

“Their stage really is killing me. Wah” San exclaimed as the stage came to an end. “That was a short 4 minute performance.”

“The tragedy of love. I think they had a great story like us.” Yunho noted during the group interview

Wooyoung piped in “Bobby-sunbaenim captivated everyone’s attention in the beginning." with San and Minyoung following up with "His gestures were really cool." "It felt as if we were watching his Show Me The Money stage."

(During BTOB’s Stage)

"Omo. It's BTOB-sunbaenim next!" Minyoung exclaimed when the next performer is called.

"She's starting. She's starting to fangirl." San chuckled as he looked on to the girl.

"If they also sing their famous songs then it's done. If it's <I'll Be Your Man> or <Missing You>, it's over. Game over." Minyoung made slicing motions with her hand. "Everyone knows those songs even if they're not a fan."

When the instrumental for Missing You played, Minyoung immediately grabbed unto Seonghwa's arm again already into the song. “That is so awesome” Wooyoung gasped in awe as soon as Changsub started the song.

“This is so cool” Hongjoong commented as soon as the screened dancers came into view with Peniel rapping.”Omo. Their harmonies really.” Minyoung looked about ready to melt in her seat, the rest of the members just chuckling at her reactions

“Take responsibility.” everyone from ATEEZ rapped along with Minhyuk as if doing the fanchant for the song.

"Omo. Minhyuk-sunbaenim!" Minyoung exclaimed as the sword dance and fight sequence happened. "He looks so cool. It’s just like watching a historical action drama.”

Yeosang was surprised when Minhyuk did the motion as if he’ll be taking his top off “What? What’s that?” Seonghwa’s hand automatically moving to cover Minyoung’s view while the girl grabbed it trying to see what is happening. Everyone chuckled when it was nothing while Minyoung pouted. “Why do you cover my eyes?”

“You’re still a baby.” Seonghwa answered seriously with Minyoung mumbling “Then why do you and San-oppa..” Yunho who was seating beside her laughed at the comment.

“Omo. It turned to Spring! Did a year pass already? Omo.” Minyoung gasped in realization as the song ended with petals falling down as if it’s Cherry Blossom season.

(During Stray Kids’ stage)

As soon as Stray Kids took the stage, the camera focused on floor with white sheet covering the dancers “What is this already? What are they going to do now?” Minyoung asked already anticipating an explosive performance from the current number 1 group from the Introduction Stage.

“What will they do on stage?” Jongho asked the same, intrigued by the stage set up from the start

The song started off eerie making Minyoung scoot closer to Seonghwa, half hiding but still looking at the monitors. “I’m scared.” she whispered as the song turns darker with Han’s part. “It’s <Side Effects>? But this is scary.”

“Their ideas are so..wow.” San could only exclaim in awe as Felix’s part started.

“What is happening? Omo. <God’s Menu> suddenly?” Minyoung gasped as the song suddenly changed but maintaining the darker atmosphere of the opening.

“Jisung-ah” she called out as Han did his solo parts “This is an entirely different song!”

“They’re hung upside down!” Yunho pointed out when a dancer was mirroring Chan’s moves. “Omo. That must have been so difficult.” Minyoung noted

“They’re using the stage in various ways.” San chuckled in awe as the set changed again

“Waah. I can’t take my eyes off it.” Hongjoong confessed as the song approached it’s climax

“Youngbok’s voice is really...” Wooyoung started while Minyoung nodded enthusiastically “Right?! A lot of people loves his voice. It’s so charming and it just..draws you right in.”

The rest of Stray Kids’ performance were audibly enjoyed by Wooyoung and Minyoung, both were letting out sounds of awe particularly when their friends gets a camera close-up.

“That was so fun! I mean it was eerie especially during the first part but when it changed to <God’s Menu>, it’s like their energy just exploded.” Minyoung said as she clapped for the group, still feeling the excitement and still in awe of their stage “I can’t believe that was just 4 minutes. Their ideas really...wow.”

“Now it’s your turn to awe them with our performance.” Yunho chuckled as the girl’s expression suddenly turned blank as if just remembering that they are performing next.

────────── ♔ ──────────

ATEEZ Minyoung Masterlist

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. Any portrayal of real people is a combination based on what we could see on cameras and imagination of the author. This is purely fan fiction written for entertainment. Thank you for understanding.

━━━━━━ʕ ˵• ₒ •˵ ʔ━━━━━━

Writing Beary Corner

Again, this release is cut into two parts hahaha! I want to say look forward to part 2. as I did more than just cover the actual episode. Like I said last post, I will be slowing down the Kingdom updates. Although I do have until Reborn stages drafted, I feel like I need to pace it out to avoid spoilers for those who haven’t watched the recent episodes. Again, thank you for reading! Tell me what you think about it. 

-Mimi

14

[doberbutts]

Also like... not for nothing but sometimes I Do Not Care about creator intent.

“it’s creator intent for-” yeah okay but sometimes creator intent is Bad and Not Good and Leaves People Out.

It’s creator intent for rhythm games to have specific audio cues intended for people to listen to and respond accordingly. It IS a rhythm game after all.

But also a way that Patapon solved this was by having the rhythm onscreen as a muted flashing box around the border of the game, and the “notes” used to pop onscreen like comic book sound effects. While one might argue that you don’t get the full experience of the soundtrack and how it meshes with how the characters sing along to what you’re doing- a uniquely hearing experience imho- it also does not bar deaf or HOH people from being able to play and allows them a way to access the game.

My sound system finally kicked the bucket after more than a decade of use, and I didn’t realize it until I started playing Ghost of Tsushima. The enemy soldiers were continuously sneaking up on me on the side of my surround system that died, and after beating the game (with a lot of frustration and vigilance on that side “HOW do you keep being that close to me when I can hear you coming from literally anywhere else”) I went to play another where it became very obvious which speakers had finally kicked it because the entire game had stuff coming from that side and was telling me I was missing audio cues. I was missing audio cues because I had dead speakers and didn’t know! These games were not unplayable without the audio cues but were very frustrating to play in that state, and when I revisited them with a working surround system I realized some of the difficulty was simply that I was not hearing the game telling me to do stuff.

I was missing my back left speakers. I only finally noticed it when I realized I wasn’t hearing the voice work of a character speaking to me despite the subtitles saying someone was speaking to me, spun my camera around trying to find them, and their voice BLARED in my right speakers because I had fiddled with the volume thinking the cues were just obnoxiously low volume. The character was behind me, to my left. This would roughly be the equivalent of being deaf or HOH on that side. This means that someone who has a disability like that would be at similar disadvantage.

It’s creator intent for people playing these games to be listening for footsteps and other soft, subtle cues to tell them someone is sneaking up behind them. I get it. It’s not totally unplayable without that function, just super annoying. I get that too. But if an equipment failure I wasn’t even aware of can negatively affect my experience to that extent, I can’t help but think of what happens to people who don’t have something as easily resolved as going to Best Buy for a new system.

Again, something easily resolved by Assassin’s Creed’s minimap which would show a counter-assassin’s dot quickly closing distance before they spun you around to stab you in the gut. Subtle, requires you to pay attention, but ultimately it doesn’t leave people out if they can’t hear the sound of someone running up behind them.

IDK just. You can do a lot of excuses and handwaving or you can try to think of ways to include as many people as possible in your experience. And some experiences cannot be 100% inclusive- again perhaps the subtleties of soundtrack design and the way what you’re doing meshes with the soundtrack may be lost on someone like Dad who is almost 100% deaf, but at least an effort should be made regardless.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 3 drama: Please teach me, Yamazaki-san! English translation

Special thanks to @nollatooru​ for extracting text again since there’s no way this would have been translated anytime soon since the majority of drama translations that I’ve found as videos only are near the very bottom of my to-do list.

This is my translation of the 薄桜鬼 遊戯録 隊士達の大宴会 店铺特典「教えてください山崎さん！」, the Yuugiroku 3 (too much of a hassle to look up the actual name) drama: Please teach me, Yamazaki-san!

Ended up doing a bit more research that I would have liked to translate this since the names of the positions in the Shinsengumi’s organization for spies didn’t translate well from Japanese into Chinese (huzzah for google translate and for biographies that list names in Chinese and Japanese so I was able to find the information I was looking for in English)... Also, i didn’t look up the gameplay for anything since I had to uninstall KW and EB for space when I was taking things off my damaged passport, not that it would have made much of a difference since I can’t recall a point when the “Watch” was actually voiced... so I might not really be consistent with a few things in this translation since I only did research during the latter half of this...? 

oh well. i don’t know Japanese and don’t do the editing for my subtitle videos until I compare everything to the audio later so I can claim ignorance. i suppose that’s an odd benefit of not understanding Japanese hahaha.   

Anyway, as always, my translation not be 100% accurate since I translate from Chinese. final edits will probably take a bit longer (in comparison to the other things i’m still sitting on) to do since im still debating about what im do with all the Watch-related words since I really don’t like it when the things I translate aren’t consistent....

PERSONAL RECOMMENDATION: I HIGHLY ADVISE AGAINST READING THIS AND WAITING FOR MY SUBTITLE VIDEO.

Hakuoki Shinkai Yuugiroku, Please teach me, Yamazaki-san! Drama CD

Translation by KumoriYami

Yamazaki: (I think that since there haven't been any large manhunt operations lately [reword later? tl can also mean "to hunt and arrest"], things have been quiet.)

(However, what is that guy doing/is that guy's purpose?)

The one out there, I'm not going to run.

So come out and tell me why you're spying on me.

~wind blows~

(Not planning on coming out...?)

-grips sword-

Then, I'll take the imitative to attack.

(movement in bushes)

Souma: Ah, please wait a moment!

Yamazaki: Oh. You are... Souma-kun?

(movement in bushes again) Saito: Sure enough, I was immediately found/discovered/I was detected immediately. As expected of Yamazaki.

Yamazaki: Based on just the breathing, I thought there was only one person, yet Saito-san was also still here. Exactly what are you doing?

Souma: Sorry! I didn't mean to do anything strange.

It's just that I wanted to observe Yamazaki-san work.

Yamazaki: Observe me work?

Although it's fine if you want to watch, but aren't you the Chief's page?

Saito: I recommended that he try this,  But he was immediately found. Still it's better to ask the person himself directly.

Yamazaki: You two, what are you talking about?

Souma:...Um, Then, Yamazaki-san, please show me how to [/you] work! ----

Souma: Hakuoki Shinkai Yuugiroku, Store Bonus Drama CD, Please teach me, Yamazaki-san! ----

Yamazaki: In other words, you now understand the duties of a page, and still want to know what sort work the other warriors do, and want to try monitoring/surveillance/doing the Watch's work? 

Is that how it is? Souma-kun.

Souma: It's just as you said. As the chief's page, I work hard every day, but I still don't know a lot about the Shinsengumi.

That's why I went and asked Saito-san [about this].

Saito: I know that Souma is working very hard. Though that will naturally be [more/become] obvious as time goes by/Though as time goes by, that will naturally be understood/Although this has been said for a while, this will naturally be understood. [check audio]

Yamazaki: But you don't want to wait for/until then, and want to be of use as quickly as possible?

Souma: Yes. Can you help me with this, even if it's [for] just a little bit?

Yamazaki: Hm.

Souma: Yamazaki-san.

Yamazaki: No, I was just reminiscing the past/thinking about the past.

I used to be as anxious as you are.

Alright, if I can, permit me to teach you.

Souma: Thank you very much!

Saito: Then can I also accompany/join you?

Yamazaki: Saito-san also wants to? That won't be a problem.

Saito: I also have experience following people while on patrol

I'm very interested in how the Watch [im pretty sure it's the Watch here and in the earlier instance. tho i can't say for certain since CN doesn't exactly do capitalization and ive never played the game in Chinese] fulfills its duties.

Please allow me to learn again. [check audio]

Yamazaki: In that case then, I'll ask you to please look after me.

----

Yamazaki: Although it normally referred to as the Watch,

the Watch is actually divided into two sections.

Souma: In terms of how it organized, sorry but please review it for me again.

Saito: The part of the organization for spies which acts by itself to gather external intelligence is called Shoshi shirabeyaku ken kansatsu*, and within that, those who are responsible for investigating/monitoring the conduct of [the/our?] members/the investigators whose duty is to supervise the conduct of/our members are known as the Kansatsugata**

* Shinsengumi's organizational post for investigating movements of the opponents and keeping the Shinsengumi members under control. (source: https://japanese-wiki-corpus.github.io/person/Kuwajiro%20OISHI.html)

**  had to look this up on the Shinsengumi wiki.samurai-archives

Yamazaki, who holds both positions/is capable of accomplishing both duties, is at the core of the Kansatsugata.

Souma: Shoshi shirabeyaku and Kansatsugata...

After hearing this again, I really feel that Yamazaki-san is quite amazing.

Yamazaki: Uh, do-don't say that out loud. I'm not used to it.

Souma: But, monitoring/investigating/supervising the conduct of the other members...

Saito: It's to secretly investigate whether or not members are conducting themselves in a manner that is befitting as members of the the Shinsengumi, and whether or not they have done anything improper.

Souma: In other words/That is to say, that also includes my actions so far.

Yamazaki: At the moment, you have no problems [there are no problems with you?].

Souma: Is-Is that so...

Yamazaki: There are almost two hundred members. Among them, there will be people who do not abide by the regulations, and those who clearly show their dissatisfaction/obviously dissatisfied or are treasonous/or even rebellious.

Souma: I see. Indeed there are people who obviously show that.

Saito:  It these people incite trouble within the team, it would be very troublesome.

That's why the Kansatsugata are needed to investigate people like this.

Yamazaki: Having said that, the three of us have been quite noisy so it would be helpful if we quickly correct that here. Ah. The two of you, over there.

Saito: Say who is there [more like "name" i guess? probably more "identify who is over there" ]

Souma: That is... Nagakura-san? There are several other people [He's with some other people/several others].

Yamazaki: This is a rare opportunity to train one of the basic skills for spying/[needed] as a spy. I'll give you a demonstration. Afterwards, you'll eavesdrop on their conversation without being discovered.

Souma: Yes, I'll do my best.

--------

Saito: Almost 15 minutes have passed. But it's really bold for you to have come up with this practical training, Yamazaki.

Yamazaki: For his first time attempt at doing this, Nagakura-san is suitable [to practise with]. As long as one isn't murderous [being bloodthirsty? think of something later], he'll basically ignore you.

Saito: Nn. If it was Souji, he would immediately draw his sword for a harsh/ruthless interrogation.

Yamazaki: No, Saito-san would do the same thing, and immediately get rid of your pursuer [not sure if this is in the "dispose of" sense though the tl i have can be translated that way lol].

Saito: Well, it doesn't feel good to be tested when I obviously haven't been disloyal.

Yamazaki: It's as you say, but this is my job.

Souma: AAAHHHHHH!!!!

Saito: Uh. [That’s] Souma. Why is he being hunted down [chased/pursued]?

Yamazaki: By whom/Who is it? Ah, Okita-san, at this time?

(frantic steps) Souma: Sorry! I didn't mean to do anything else!

This was just training for surveillance work!

(sword swung) Souma: AAAHHH!!

Okita-san, please forgive me!

Saito: An unexpected situation.

Yamazaki: He needs help to get away/escape from that situation, he isn't his opponent at all/he's no match for him.

Saito: I'll figure out a way to deal with Souji. You escape with Souma/You take Souma and run away. --------

Souma: Truly thank you for just now. Okita-san was already behind me before I realized it I really thought that I was going to die/I was dead.

Saito: Dying is a bit of an exaggeration.

But I'm certain he would have stabbed your neck with his sword and left you half-dead.

Yamazaki: I didn't expect Okita-san to be nearby, but there was way of knowing that you'd encounter him/but nothing can be done about meeting him [check audio].

Well then, change your mood for the next training [reword later]. The target is that room. Remain quiet from this point onward.

Souma: What's next?

Yamazaki: Take this letter and swap it with the letter in that room. But, in the next room, there is someone you must not be detected by.

Saito: Training for intelligence work? If this goes well, then it's possible that the other party won't even notice you.

Souma: That would be good, so it's just this letter? Then, I'll be right back.

Yamazaki: Ah, be very careful.

---------

Yamazaki: He entered the room without any problems.

Saito: Ah. So, who is the person in the next room?

Yamazaki: Well, it shouldn't matter since that person is asleep during the day.

( door slides open, then frantic steps)

Souma: Saito-san, Yamazaki-san! I'm sorry! I couldn't do it!   As soon as I entered the room, I felt that someone was staring at me through the door of the next room! There was also this creepy laughter/ing!

Saito: Laughter? The eyes staring at you, were they red?  [i swear this is going to become fanart one day lol. for both the spying and souma talking about what happened]

Souma: Yes! they didn't look like human eyes at all!

(door slides open.... slow creaking footsteps)

Saito: Does that mean that one over there was...

Yamazaki: Ah, damn it! He's awake!

Saito: Yamazaki, you go first! I'll deal with this!

Yamazaki: Sorry! I'll leave the General Secretary [so... i don't really like the English localization translation of Sanan's position being  a "colonel" so i looked up what it said on wikipedia and used that] to you! Souma-kun, come here!

This training/Training ends here!

Souma: Eh, eeehhhhhhhh?!

Saito: I'm sorry that it was noisy while your rested [that this noise disturbed your rest?], this was as a result of... --------

Souma:  What the hell that just now...

Yamazaki + Saito: It was just your imagination.

Souma: Eh. But, "General Secretary" was clearly said...

Yamazaki + Saito: You imagined hearing it [tl is more "it was an illusion" and one that is heard... maybe "you're hearing things"?. kinda gave up on thinking about that right now. ]

Souma:  Is, is that so... uh. That being said...

Saito: What's wrong/What is it?

Souma: Although the Kansatsugata feels quite unremarkable, each individual/everyone posses outstanding abilities, and I've been made aware of that again. [However] I 'm incapable of doing this sort of work.

Yamazaki: Hm. It can be said that you're not talented at this.

Souma: Eh?

Yamazaki: In the first place, not everyone can do this.

All of us within the Kansatsugata are constantly working on improving our skills.

We're always fighting in the shadows for the Shinsengumi.

What you think of being outstanding abilities is the results of our hard work. [remarkable capabilities?]

Souma: Truly, Yamazaki-san is amazing. I understand why everyone trusts you!  

Yamazaki: Th-That's why you shouldn't look at me like that. But for you, I think that you're better suited to doing honest work [tl can basically mean "honourable," "not devious" or "out in the open" in the straightforward sense] and not this secret monitoring work/surveillance in the shadows [reword later].

Saito: Indeed, compared to secretly taking covert actions in the shadows, you are better suited at working in the open, Souma.

Souma: I-is that so...

Thank you very much for this/that. If it's possible, I hope to still learn some things from you.

Yamazaki: There will be opportunities for that. Then, we'll end today's training here. Souma-kun, is there/do you have anything else you want to ask?

Souma: [Something] I want to ask.... ah. then, Yamazaki-san, may I ask you one last question?

Yamazaki: Ah, if I can answer, I won't hold back [will/do so].

Souma: What sort of technique is the "Tatami flip"?

Yamazaki: Ta... Where did you hear that name from?

Souma: Just now during this investigator training/spy training, Nagakura-san mentioned it/Nagakura-san mentioned it while doing the operative training. It is said that it is Yamazaki-san's most powerful technique.

Yamazaki: That guy said something unnecessary! No, Souma-kun, that's.... It's not something amazing like a secret technique..

Saito: Why are you being modest? That move is indeed capable of being referred to as/called  a secret technique. If it's possible, I'll ask you to please teach me it. Perhaps I will be able to apply it to kenjutsu.

Yamazaki: Even Saito-san, what are you saying? [Even Saito-san is saying this? check audio]

Souma: Please, Yamazaki-san!

Saito: I'll be requesting the same of you, Yamazaki. [tl is more "i'm also requesting (you) to do so/asking"]

Yamazaki: Bo-Both of you, please raise your heads. I-I get it! I'll teach you.

Souma: Really?!  Thank you very much!

Yamazaki: But, you can't tell anyone else about this.

Saito: Nn. Understood.

Yamazaki: Then, please get behind me. Aoyi***, Tatami flip!

This is the literal Mandarin pronunciation of the tl without tones. CN tl can mean “profound argumentation” (in Chinese), tho it's also used to refer to some of the highest level of martial skills in JP (so says a baidu search on the term). 

The English google translate of that page puts this phrase as "Ogi," and after reading this page that mentions "ogi" (http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-9948.html#:~:text=Yielding%20is%20called%20%22ju%22%20as,an%20open%20heart%20without%20ego.), so i will probably change this to either "Secret move" or "hidden technique" based on what it mentioned there

Souma: Uoh!

Yaamzaki: Ju-Just now, that was the Tatami flip.

Souma: Amazing, that was amazing, Yamazaki-san! How were you able to do that without any tools [check audio]? Please tell me how to do this!

Saito: This can be used indoors while fighting defensively/can be used as a defence when fighting indoors. It can also be used to hinder an enemy's movements.

Yamazaki: Yes. This requires focusing your strength into the centre of your palm, and within a single breath, smack/slap the edge of the tatami, and then lifting it up when the edge bounces.

Souma: So it's like that? Hoh.... tatami flip! Uh. Areh? It didn't bounce at all.

Yamazaki: Haha. It's not something you can master right away. It also took me a long time to do it. Concentrate/Focus a bit more strength into the palm of your hand.

Souma: Ha! Ah! Yah! It-It's not moving...

Saito: Practise makes perfect./Won't practise make perfect [check audio]? Alright, I will challenge this. Should the position of my hand be around here?

Yamazaki: Yes. [Though] It's better to have it moved a bit forward [moved up a bit]/ if the if the center of gravity is moved forward.

Saito: Understood. Then, I'll be going. Secret technique: Tatami flip!

Yamazaki: No way...

Souma: Uoh.

Saito: Nn. That happened naturally [reword later...? tl is is basically "letting nature take its course was achieved"] .

Souma: Sa-Saito-san, that was amazing! You actually succeeded in one go!

Saito: No, there's no guarantee that this will succeed every time. The accuracy and speed can be further improved upon.

Souma: Really, the Shinsengumi has assembled some amazing people. I can't fall behind and have to work even harder.

Saito: Ah , work hard. I am always willing to practise kenjutsu with you.

Yamazaki: Ah, but, to have it actually done it so easily, my confidence...

Saito: What is it, Yamazaki?

Yamazaki: No, I just feel that need to train a lot more. Let's improve together, Souma-kun.

Souma: Yes! Please look after me!

Souma Kazue, Kaji Yūki Saito Hajime, Toriumi Kōsuke Yamazaki Susumu, Suzuki Takayuki

-end-

sorry but this is the only souma thing i have scheduled for april. 

also i wanted some Yamazaki content translated, but i unfortunately don’t remember if i ever found Yamazaki’s route from Yuugiroku 2... so I settled on translating what I hope is a certain complete chapter (as viewed via the extras menu) of Souji’s route with him in it... sorta. scheduled for july!

--------

image from suruga-ya

[rigelmejo]

notes to myself basically, on how i study languages (so far, there’s always gonna be better ways i don’t know of yet lol):

learn 500-1000 common words asap, read a grammar guide that provides overview asap - like the first 3 months. If a full grammar guide doesn’t exist that’s concise (hi japanese ;-;) find a basics grammar guide at least and read that (pimsleur, websites, genki, tae kim, youtube). Specifically within the common words, at least look at the ‘300 common word tumblr to say things’ language vocab list. That list is good for me starting some kind of active vocab/expressing ideas.

if its got a different writing system, look up the alphabet in 1st month (kana for japanese, cyrillic alphabet for russian etc, pinyin for chinese). listen to pronunciation guides, and write and/or mnemonics to learn those asap.

if its got characters (like chinese, japanese), learn 300-500 super common characters ASAP (first 5 months). 

After month 3, learn up to 2000 common words (hi srs flashcard programs like anki and memrise, common word lists, graded readers), and up to 2000 characters. Not all these need to be done with srs flashcards/focused study, but get TO recognizing this many as soon as u can. Goal is get to this by month 8-10. But depending on how much i can overall understand without doing this, i may not learn All of these words by then (but ideally i should).

By 500-1000 words (and 500+ characters if needed), so after 3-5 months, start trying to immerse in what I WANT to do - so reading, watching (maybe listening, maybe games). I don’t have to do it much, but do it a bit to remember what I learned and also motivate myself to study more.

Months 5-8 somewhere between 1000-2000 words, start trying to write/say basic things to myself or on apps with others. Probably will be a mess, don’t have to do it much. Do it enough to have motivation to study more - see where I’m lacking skills. I may need more grammar explanation, or more vocab, or notice a big issue in my pronunciation etc.

Around month 8-10, around 2000+ words studied (although it may be less or more depending on what I’m comfortable with), ramp up immersion a lot. As soon as its mildly tolerable, ramp it up a LOT. Look up words when immersing as often or not often as desired, goal is to always follow at least the bare minimum main idea (and more details if possible/if I wanna put in the effort to look more up). Now I can start learning new words primarily from this. 

Reading skills - during immersion do intensive reading to learn more vocabulary quicker, extensive reading to improve overall comprehension. Do SRS flashcards/focused graded readers/word-list prep for stuff I read as needed, to speed up how much vocab I learn (if I’m learning too slow for my preference lol). Ways to make extensive reading easier: read graded readers, read show subtitles in target language while watching show, textbooks built to increase info taught in context, read stuff I’ve read translations of first, read stuff I have prior context for (I saw the show/heard already with english transcript etc), Listening reading method, read extensively what I’ve read intensively before etc.

Listening skills - start extensive listening to audio (for overall comprehension improvement). Start intensive listening where I hear words and lookup definition and/or learn word pronunciation with explanations. So start listening to audio flashcards for building a base of learned words/phrases (chinese spoonfed audio files, japanese core 2k audio, japaneseaudiolessons.com, SRS flashcards if they have audio only ones too, Coffee Break French, audio for Francais par le methode nature etc). To make extensive listening easier: start with watching/listening to shows I’ve already seen subs for, shows in general (visual context helps), comprehensible input audio (like comprehensible input french youtube, Learn Korean in Korean youtube, Dreaming Spanish youtube etc), listen with a transcript then listen without, Listening reading method, listen to things I have prior context for like audiobook of something i read/audio drama of show i’ve seen. Do some shadowing (shadowing audio flashcard files is easy and reliable tbh). 

Production skills (I am not here yet) - in general I’ve found making myself write more, talk more, to myself (like journals and practice convos) and to others, tends to improve my active vocabulary. Especially when I try to communicate about topics i’m bad at (so making myself look up those words and write/say them to put them back into active vocab). At this point I’m guessing more explicit grammar drill practice might help, people correcting me, shadowing a lot. Maybe practicing translating to that language/from it, to practice building active vocab? I’m not sure what will help most here tbh as I’ve never gotten far in this area. (For chinese, studying pronunciation more in depth and doing more listening/shadowing, and pronunciation apps, helped a lot with pronunciation itself but not active production yet). 

---

i’m currently mostly just doing 8-9 for chinese right now - building reading skills, building listening skills. Varying what i do. For production skills i’m guessing there’s a ton of varied things i can do right now or later, i’m just not entirely sure what they’d be. i have not tried/troubleshooted those skills much before when studying. All i know for sure is the more i make myself use the language in Varied topics, the more i get an active vocabulary (aka writing journals, making self-convos, and doing language exchanges help in a basic way). No idea how to improve grammar though in ways that’d work well for me. so right now my skills lean heavier toward comprehension, less skill in any production. Studying chinese taught me a lot about how i learn listening skills though...which is valuable as i barely had practice learning HOW to study them when i studied french or japanese before.

troubleshooting wise - this is the rough trajectory i went through in chinese, that has worked okay for me. looking at it helps me see where i ‘slowed down’ my progress in other languages i studied.

for french - i did very LITTLE listening practice, and had few ideas of how to work on it at the time. Now I would probably do listen with transcript then without, and shadowing, to work on listening skills. And watching shows/videos with subtitles (if possible), then without subs. And very little speaking practice - same deal as listening, i did a little at some point realizing it was a weak area but not enough work on it. I also did very LITTLE production practice like language exchanges. i had few reasons to produce language, and so the few times i needed to i could mostly rely on super common words or look things up when writing. i know i’d need to do more to work on production. so i was very unbalanced - large reading comprehension, low pretty much every other skill.

for japanese... i did a lot in retrospect i wish i’d redone different. and i do it different now. i did not read/watch a grammar guide - and i still freaking need to (or at least get clear grammar exposure like nukemarine’s LLJ course’s tae kim portions). japanese has grammar i find very hard to figure-out through exposure so this holds me back a lot. and lack of immersion to both motivate me to study MORE and to practice reading/listening skills. ALSO lack of common words - i learned like 800 hanzi rough-meaning through RTK, and maybe 500 words in genki... and no wonder it wasn’t enough lol! i think nukemarine helped back years ago, because it forced me to study grammar and vocab, listening and reading, in a structured way (similar to how genki helped me in the very start before i quit using it). and japaneseaudiolessons.com helped because it made me practice listening and gave me comprehensible listening with definitions. that in combo with me really starting to immerse and TRY to read/listen at year 2+ is when i finally made some progress because i was doing things that work for me - finally. and now that i’m coming back to japanese, i’m starting to apply all those things again that were finally working. 

---

anyone have any tips on how to improve production skills? Both active vocabulary, and how to both practice speaking/writing broadly AND how to fix grammar errors. 

For active vocab and general writing/speaking I know just talking more/writing more helps. But I can only tend to catch grammar errors if I run it through a translator first to compare how the translator phrases it to how I did (which can create a LOT of errors if the translator is Wrong), or if someone corrects my grammar error (which relies on other people - and preferably a tutor since i dont want to bother people who aren’t paid to correct - so what can i do on my OWN?). 

The big thing is with grammar, I can only think to either go through beginner courses Again from the start and do the writing drills and copy the patterns to internalize them? So I could correct my basic writing/speaking but not necessarily when I start speaking/writing creatively, unless I find textbooks/workbooks that eventually go into intermediate material (and of course finding textbooks/online exercises that provide correct answers so i can compare my attempts to the correct ones). Aside from either a tutor, or trying to find well made free online courses with exercises with answers provided, i’m not sure how to improve grammar production. If I write out sentences i read, would that internalize being able to ‘copy their grammar correctly’ when i write? if i shadow correctly said speeches/videos, would that help drill ‘correct grammar’ when speaking? (And be less boring then doing FSI speech drills). Basically I’m trying to find some ways (creative or not) to improve grammar in production. Improving active vocabulary seems pretty straightforward to me (make myself use it, look up words until they come natural to me - but if u got any other fun ways to improve active vocab i’d love to hear!). But I don’t know how to improve grammar when you are NOT in a class structure, have no teacher/tutor, and already have a base level of comprehension. As in like? I can read fine, but when writing I can’t tell if what I produce is grammatically correct or not - and again I can run it through a translator sometimes to try and ‘check’ but since translators make errors, my ‘corrected example’ isn’t always reliable to use as something to emulate for ‘correct form.’

[angelanimedesaray]

Through the Looking Glass Chapter 9:  April

AN:  I’m getting ahead of the question now and stating that in this world, AOT isn’t an anime (Poor souls). So no, the Reader isn’t going to become omnipotent to Levi’s life/world.

They did not binge this in one day.  The first round, for sure they did, but it was a little broken up in spurts.  For the sake of brevity, considering this was already going to be a long chapter, I cut out all the flickering back and forth and just focused on their Movie Nights and them watching the show.

It might feel a weird mix of rushed and long, because they’re watching the entirety of Your Lie In April, but I wasn’t going to transcribe the whole show, so there’s a lot of summarizing and cutting things out and highlighting certain pieces, but its still long because there’s a LOT to cover.

Also because of how emotional this chapter is actually going to be, I want to just remind...that Levi is like, mid teens, and hasn’t gone through much of the stuff that adult Levi has been through, so in my mind, that justifies a bit more of a REACTION for some of this stuff.  But he’s still Levi, and he’s still going to be reserved and such, just...not as controlled as Adult Levi.

This whole chapter is like one big lead up to the next chapter, funnily enough. XD

Also got to listen to “Constellation” by Far Out feat. Karra on repeat writing this.  It felt so fitting!

I’m putting quotes from Your Lie in April in italics with quotes and an indent like this, so its clear that they came from the show.  Levi’s thoughts/memories will just be in italics, no indention .

Characters:  Levi, Reader

Pairing:  (Eventual Levi x Reader)

Warnings:   SPOILERS FOR “YOUR LIE IN APRIL”, Angst, FEELINGS, Language

Word Count:  10994

<----Previous Chapter    Masterlist    Next Chapter---->

*Levi’s POV*

At long last, Y/N was finally going to show him those movie, show things she kept talking about.  He knew plays and acting and putting on an act, but the concept of a show that was saved so you could watch it whenever you wanted without having to make people do it over and over was novel to him.

Boisterously proclaiming that it was going to be a “Movie Night” day, she’d grabbed his hand and dragged him after her like she’d used to do when they were young, despite his protests.  To be fair, he didn’t try too hard to wiggle away, either, letting her pull him along to the living room as she fussed and tried to decide what they were going to watch.

After all of her attempts to explain what a movie or TV show was, she decided that the best way to explain it to him was just to show him, though she still had to stop and explain the type of show they were watching.

“Okay, so what I’m showing you right now, is actually called an anime.  It’s a type of animation from a country called Japan, and it’s made from computers or hand drawn.  They draw the story, picture by picture, and put it together to make the characters and such move, with actors doing their voices and recording it in time with the pictures, sound effects like bells and wind also being saved, background music, so on and so forth,” she explained as she cut up pieces of paper and layered them on top of each other, pulling out a pencil and drawing a circle on each page, moving its position slightly each time.  “See, if you do it frame by frame, and then move it really fast, it's like the ball is bouncing--animation, and anime, works off the same concept, except they’re drawing everything,” she continued to explain, grabbing the bottom page and then letting the papers rapidly spring free, causing Levi to see the ball she drew appear to move along the page, even though he knew it was a bunch of individual drawings going by rapidly.

“They draw a solid background that doesn’t move, and then they add another layer on top that you can see through like glass, but they draw the moving parts on that layer, so it looks like they’re in the solid background and they’re walking and whatnot.  It’s really cool--makes me wish I could draw,” she continued, putting aside the papers she’d used for her demonstration and picking up the controller so she could get them started, gesturing for Levi to take a seat on the couch.  “I haven’t seen this one yet, but a friend recommended I watch it cause I love music, and I play the piano, and she said it was a really good coming of age story.  I’m a little wary cause she said she wanted my reaction to the end, but she usually suggests stuff I love, so I’m gonna trust it,” she continued to babble as the screen lit up with colors and pictures like a computer screen, most of it nonsensical to Levi as she shifted rapidly past most of it looking for the specific show.

She stopped on something extremely colorful, blues and yellows and pinks and reds in vibrant color with four drawn people lying in what looked like the sky, and she abruptly turned to face him.  “Are you okay with having to read what they say?  The original is in a different language, so it’ll have subtitles at the bottom translating what they say.  There are other versions where they redid the speaking parts in different languages, but I really like listening to the original--I feel like it really gets the emotions across because it's so well done.”

Levi hesitated for a moment, contemplating her offer of putting it in a language they understood or keeping the original and having to read what they were saying.  Eventually, he just shrugged.  “Whichever you want.”

“Subtitles it is,” she said, turning back to the TV and messing with a few things before she finally started the show, coming over to sit by him on the couch.  He was sitting normally, his ankle propped up on his leg with one arm resting against the back of the couch, the other lying casually in his lap.  Y/N, however, sat directly beside him, his arm behind her shoulders and her side pressed slightly against his, causing Levi to glance at her, mind flashing back to how she’d sat at the piano with him not too long ago.  She wasn’t even glancing at him, though, gradually relaxing next to him like a kitten curling up to get warm, her eyes fixed on the colorful display that was now on the TV.

Turning his attention back to the TV, Levi studied the images in front of him, a cheerful bit of piano music fluttering towards them as vibrant and colorful images of a girl chasing a black cat moved seamlessly across the screen, much smoother than the quickly drawn bouncing ball Y/N had put together to describe what they would be watching.

If she was trying to sneak a peak of his reaction, she would catch his eyes had widened at the vibrant colors and amazing detail, the realistic sounds that came through and made him want to check and see if the piano behind them was being played, or there were people hiding somewhere making the character’s voices and singing the song as the scene suddenly shifted to what Y/N described to him as an intro, a quick prologue of sorts that set the tone of the show.  Thankfully, however, she’d already explained to him that the sounds were done beforehand, recorded and somehow stored so it would be repeated to the images on the screen as they watched.

It was a little...outside his realm of understanding, how it all worked, and he had the sneaking suspicion he’d just have to accept that it just was and he needed to sit back and try to enjoy it.  That was how a show was supposed to work, right?  And that was exactly what Y/N seemed to be doing.

As she had warned him, the characters were speaking an entirely different language, so Levi couldn’t understand what was being said on its own.  Thankfully, there were the subtitles to translate, Levi’s gaze flickering between reading the small letters to looking at the colorful screen to see what was happening, trying not to get too caught up in the details he didn’t understand, like the games the kids were playing, and how different the environment was even to what he saw in Y/N’s world.

At least the basic stuff he could easily make sense of--the main character was obviously the quiet and reserved, black haired, blue eyed pianist Kousei, and the characters were around Levi and Y/N’s age.  The point of the story wasn’t clear yet, but she’d explained this was going to be episodic--it would be played like chapters in a novel, stopping at the end of a chapter before they would have to start the next one.  So it might be a while before he started catching that.  Right now, they were meeting characters, finding out their relationship to one another and getting hints at the history between them all.

Like the fact that Kousei lived alone because his father was absent, and his mother was deceased.  She’d succumbed to illness when he was still young.  That alone had the stirrings of empathy settling in Levi’s chest for the main character.  He couldn’t relate to the abuse, but the desire to make her better, that somehow he could do something to make her feel better did resonate.  It made him listen to their conversations a bit more, since he already had a foothold and something relatable.

Once he started drawing comparisons to the story unfolding in front of him, he couldn’t stop noticing them.

“The moment I met him, my life changed.  Everything I saw, heard, and felt.  All the scenery around me started to take on color.  The whole world began to sparkle.”

A world of monotone, devoid of color, until he meets a certain vibrant youth who brings a sudden rush of color and life into the world around her, dragging Kousei in by the hand--as if he could ever resist the force of nature she was.

Hm.  He wondered who that reminded him of.

He didn’t even notice when the “chapter” ended and the next started, his gaze flickering subtly towards Y/N on the couch beside him, appearing just as taken by the story as he already was.

However, this new chapter did bring about new questions, and was a bit closer to his grasp of understanding after watching Y/N play music for so long.

“Do you ever do competitions?” Levi asked as the characters walked around the competition and the history Kousei had at this specific building was teased, easily able to see that there was a piano on the stage despite it being a violin competition.  Surely if there were competitions for violins, there were for pianos?

She shook her head, chewing slightly on her lower lip as she answered him.  “No way--I play piano for myself and a few people.  I’m not looking to make a career of it or become famous for it.  Not to mention, I don’t think I’m cut out for competitions.  There’s a lot of pressure, and they’re really strict about playing the pieces exactly how they were originally written.  I want to play the piano how I feel, and that’s not always by paying attention to how it's written on the sheet.”

“And violins?  What are they like?” he asked.  He hadn’t seen or heard a violin yet, and was curious to hear what they would sound like.

“They’re a string instrument--portable, small.  Really beautiful, too--they’re my second favorite instrument.  They usually pair wonderfully with pianos--I’m pretty sure it’s common for a piano to accompany a violin in shows and competitions.”

Levi hushed with his questions again as the scenes playing out on the TV continued to unfold and the first violin performer took the stage, Levi hearing the light and lively music of the violin for the first time, the same song being performed over and over by the nondescript and nameless musicians on the stage in the show.

Beside him, Y/N was slowly tilting her head side to side as she listened to the music being played, eyes fixed on the screen.  She must have felt almost in her element watching this, while Levi felt a bit more like Tsubaki, not understanding a lot of the names and such that were being thrown around by the characters in discussion, but still there to enjoy it nonetheless.  When Kousei was tapping his fingers on the armchair to the piano music, Levi’s gaze flickered to Y/N to see if she was doing something similar, since she seemed focused on the music as well.  It wasn’t as precise as Kousei, maybe she wasn’t playing every note in her head, but her fingers were lightly tapping against her legs like she wanted to be playing the keys on the piano.

Then came Kaori’s first performance.

Watching, Levi felt a familiarity in the girl’s intensity, once again reminded of the girl sitting next to him, who seemed to throw herself into every aspect of life around her--at least compared to him.  There was a tension in the air, a feeling that this was going to be much different than the music they’d been hearing up until this point.  Even Y/N had stilled next to him, eyes riveted to the girl on the screen.

The first notes were shocking.  After listening to Y/N play the piano for so long, even his unprofessional, inexperienced ear could hear the shift in the sound, and how rich and deep it suddenly was.  Beside him, Y/N shifted into a more upright position, eyes suddenly lighting up and sparkling as she leaned forward, her breath catching.  The ripple through the audience wasn’t just in the show, but in reality, as the two of them on the couch suddenly focused entirely on Kaori’s performance.

The girl’s eyes flashed on screen, and the music suddenly leapt to life before them, making his own heart seem to pound a little faster, the sounds pleasant and uplifting to his ears, making him restless in a good way.  It sounded similar to when Y/N played the piano with him that one day, not necessarily in skill, but in the life and emotion that was in it.

Like Y/N, Kaori was pouring herself into her playing, she shone brightly through in the piece, made like it was pulling back a curtain to reveal a part of her soul.  Kousei even said as much, stating that Kaori was making the piece hers and hers alone.

The performance ended, and Y/N suddenly grabbed his arm with a squeal.  “That was awesome!  I’m going to have to find a recording of that!” she said breathlessly.  Her excitement was infectious, and almost prompted Levi towards a smile as they slowly settled back onto the couch, the story progressing in front of them.

She was such a stark contrast to the black haired youth in front of her, the whirlwind to his reserved personality, but even she would show flashes of vulnerability, for his eyes only, it seemed.  And he did what he could to hide what he could in order to protect her, without her ever knowing, probably.

Wait, was he still thinking about Kaori and Kousei?

Levi shook his head, focusing back on what was happening, reading Kousei’s contemplations about how he could still hear the refrain of the music Kaori played in the competition he witnessed, over and over.

Levi’s fingers tapped slightly against the back of the couch and in his lap, barely tapping out the melodies for the song they’d played on the piano the other day, music he heard even when he was alone with his thoughts in his own world, still able to feel her fingers aligned with his, guiding him through each key.  He’d find himself tapping them out in rare moments of idleness, like he was still clinging to the memory of the sound even if he didn’t have a piano in his world.

Y/N shifted entirely back to her relaxed position against Levi’s side, head brushing briefly against his shoulder and making his skin tingle where the brief contact had been, his stomach squirming.

Kaori dragged poor Kousei around everywhere, usually into situations far out of his comfort zone, and far more aggressively than a certain someone sitting beside him.  However, it seemed like more often then not, those situations were wonderful places that he wouldn’t have found or experienced on his own.

She brought color to his monochrome life.

Where he was hidden in shadows, she was cast in light, and she didn’t hesitate to pull him into the sun.

”I know you’re broken and beat up, but I want you.  I choose you.  I want you here.”

The beginning chapters seemed to fly by quickly, with Kaori pushing Kousei more and more, and beside Levi, Y/N seemed to be slowly wiggling closer to him.  Was it intentional?  Did she realize she was doing it?  He did--he seemed hypersensitive to every motion, yet he didn’t pull away, didn’t even twitch.  He stayed still, like sudden movement might frighten her away as easily as a stray cat.

As intriguing as the events on the screen were--and he was taking in the information, such as how Kousei used to have a black cat, how he couldn’t hear the sound of the piano after his mother died and quit piano directly afterwards, important stuff like that--Levi’s thoughts kept wandering as he watched.

He thought of how beautiful the trees with the pink petals were, how breathtaking every scene with them was, and how prominently they seemed to feature in every scene that had something meaningful going on.  Y/N called them cherry blossom trees.  He wanted to see one.  What would it look like?  What would the scene be if he stood under one with her?

Before he knew it, Kaori had cornered Kousei into accompanying her on the piano, and they were rushing towards another performance.  Anticipation stirred in the air between him and Y/N, both of them wondering how this piece would sound, considering Kousei had already been framed as a child prodigy on the piano, and they knew Kaori was breathtaking.  What would it sound like when they played together?  Levi worried about how it would turn out, how Kousei seemed to be unraveling in front of them just before they went up on stage.

Before Kaori gave him a literal smack to get him out of his own head.

As lighthearted and carefree as she seemed to be, every now and then, she would drop these little petals of wisdom.

Levi’s gaze flickered to Y/N again.

Her eyes would shift from a sparkle that almost seemed naive to a depth he hadn’t expected to see, and she’d say something that seemed beyond her years.

“Go on a journey.  A man away from home need feel no shame.”

“Natural.  Bizarre.  It’s like this girl herself is the journey with no clear destination.”

“You’re Freedom Itself.”

The couple took the stage.  The song started out slow, sensual, peaceful.  It reminded him slightly of the song Y/N taught him.

Before, predictably, Kaori brought her wild, fast paced playing back, bringing liveliness to the performance.  It started beautifully, but just as the music seemed to portray some kind of descent, Kousei lost sense of the notes, the sound distorted even for them, listening, as if they were Kousei, only able to faintly hear Kaori while the rest sounded muffled, strangled out by water.  When they were allowed to hear the sound again, it was off, it sounded harsh and jarring, out of sync.  Not at all pleasant.

Considering the earlier mentioned problems, he should have known this wasn’t going to be a perfect and completely enjoyable performance.  It was grating, and while he understood the emotional significance of seeing Kousei give up halfway through, his ears were a little grateful by that point.

The surprise was seeing Kaori stop as well.  He’d thought perhaps something would urge Kousei to start playing again, but he hadn’t expected Kaori to stop in the process.  Beside him, Y/N seemed to be biting on her thumbnail, her brows furrowed as she watched the screen in concern, a frown on her face, leg shifting restlessly around on the couch as she suddenly curled closer to Levi, directly against his side, oblivious to the surprised look he shot her because she was so focused with what was happening on the screen.

“Maybe there’s only a dark road up ahead.  But you still have to believe and keep going.  Believe that the stars will light your path, even a little bit.”

Kaori began to play again, the sound of just the violin playing on its own sounding lonely and out of place, especially when he knew there should be a piano playing with it.  All they needed was for Kousei to play again.  Would he?  No excuses, Kaori needed his support, and Levi found himself silently judging Kousei, mentally pushing him to help her, to play, because that was what she needed from him.

”So what was it that you saw in me?”

“But you have me!  Look up, and look at me.  Look at me.”

Kousei starting to play again was a relief, even if it wasn’t quite right at first.  After a bit of inner reflection, some time where they spent listening to the underwater sounds, it all faded away, and a soft scene of a mother and son filled the screen.  The mother’s softly sung lullaby was soothing, and as it shifted to a scene of the sky, Levi’s eyes widened at the brilliant beauty it was, the range of color, of blues and whites and even some purples and pinks.  How it sparkled and shimmered, stirring up emotions he didn’t know he’d buried somewhere inside him as he suddenly felt small again, curled up in a nest of soft warmth, staring out a small window up towards the sky high above him for the first time, gazing in wonder at the stars and moon that glittered high above him.

Words from one of the many times Y/N had played the piano for him drifted to his mind.  How she had perceived her music had struck some kind of chord with him, even if he wasn’t saying anything--even when he realized he had no words to describe what he was feeling listening to her play that single song.  He remembered how she’d told him that the point, what made music with her time, was how it could communicate what couldn’t be said with mere words.

The music shifted, and Kousei finally began to play, and the sound was enrapturing.  There were no words--it could only be felt, what was happening between the boy at the piano and the girl with the violin.

Could he find a violin in his world?  Could he learn to play it, so he could play with Y/N like Kousei played with Kaori?  Would they manage to produce something similar, something wonderful like that?  What would it feel like?  What would the sound between them be?  What would it say?

”I can hear your sound.”

So caught up in his thoughts, in the raw emotion and the music that had just enraptured them both, Levi was caught off guard when the mood took another shift.

He tensed, hand gripping the back of the couch a little harder as the sound faded away into an echo as Kaori suddenly collapsed.  The hairs on the back of his neck seemed to raise, warning him of something incoming, even though there was no physical threat.  He had a bad feeling, suddenly, seeing Kaori’s paler form in the hospital, seeing Kousei’s disbelieving look, the way all of her face wasn’t visible during certain key answers.  It put dread inside him over what was happening with her, where this would go.  A brief moment of happiness...but what did it mean in the long run?  What did it matter, if it was going to be ripped so harshly away, anyway?

“It was everything to you, and you’re trying to rip that away by force.  As if you were plucking off your limbs.  That’s why it hurts too much for you to bear.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to forget?  No, not a chance.  Because you and I are living for that moment.”

“I won’t forget.  I won’t forget, even if I die.”

“Thank you.”

The mood of the show mellowed drastically, far more serious notes seeping into the air around them as Kousei and those around him were faced with far more serious matters than who liked who, and music competitions.  The competitions seemed to be fading into the background, a mere backdrop to the true story.

Ah…

He might be seeing it now.

There was more to this tale than just playing in competitions.

And he had the feeling he was going to be facing some...difficult scenes.  Not the kind of gristly scenes of the everyday Underground.  The personal, emotional kind.  He was already getting flashes of past events, old emotions stirring this early on.  What would come next?  How deep was this show going to dig to bring out emotions or thoughts he didn’t even know he was keeping buried?

Y/N shifted again, now blatantly sidled up beside him, head leaning slightly to the side, coming to rest very lightly on his shoulder.  Levi stilled, pulled entirely from his thoughts, both of them seeming to hold the position to see what the other would do.

She didn’t pull away.

Neither did he.

Her head leaned a little more heavily against his shoulder, and she got more comfortable in her position next to him.  Levi relaxed, letting her do as she pleased, silently grateful for the companionable warmth her presence beside him seemed to be offering him, allowing the scarier thoughts to temporarily be soothed and chased away.  It helped that the story was shifting towards the more light-hearted as well, as Kaori and Kousei began to prepare for a piano competition.

“Before your fingers touch the keys, you must determine in your mind how you’re going to play it.  Why do you play the piano?  Is it for your sake?  For someone else’s sake?  How do you want to play this piece?”

Levi turned his head slightly to look at Y/N, curiosity stirred up in his mind as Kaori grilled Kousei for his mental imagery while he played.  “What about you?  What do you think of when you play the piano?” he asked her.

“Hm?” she asked, pulled for the first time out of the show as she turned slightly to meet his gaze, surprised by the inquiry.  “I...don’t know.  It depends on the moment.  Usually it’s memories, though.  Certain songs make me think of certain people, usually memories with that person.  Maybe something I want to do or say to them?  I haven’t thought of that much before...usually I just...do it.  And I tend to get lost in what I’m doing, too.  I guess that’s part of the reason why I haven’t thought of it much before.”

Levi continued to look at her even as she turned her attention back to the show, barely holding back a question that bubbled up inside him.

Have you ever thought of me?

She was teaching him to play the piano, right?  What would his mental imagery be when he played?

While Levi got his quick question in and mulled over his own thoughts once more, the mood shifted to something more serious in the show again.

Kaori was worried she was being too pushy, that Kousei might resent him for forcing him into the position he was in, now.  That she was being too hard on him.  And something that they said resonated with him, because of recent events.

“You’re suffering because of me.  I’m sorry.”

Levi saw Y/N in front of him in his mind’s eye.  Her eyes were downcast, lips pressed together, shoulders slightly hunched, and she was on the verge of tears after his barbed words expressing how shitty this situation was for him, how it teased him with what he could never have.  Did she blame herself, for him being pulled into her world, always around her for a brief while before he was kicked back?

But again, she’d been right.  Even if it was brief, that didn’t mean the time he spent here with her was worthless.  It still meant something to him, and it still brought him some comfort and, oddly enough, a sense of security.  From the very first time they’d met, she’d provided him with somewhere he could truly feel safe and cared for.

“It was you who swept away all the dust.  For sweeping away the dust that had collected on my body...thank you.  For encountering me.”

The more hints the story dropped about Kaori’s health, the more worried Levi became about the turn this story might take.  He was bracing for impact, a small frown on his face as he saw the pile of medicine Kaori was carrying around with her at the competition.  Kousei’s musical rivals didn’t register so much with him in the previous two chapters, because he was still so focused on what was happening with Kousei and Kaori.

Y/N had gotten up at one point by now to get a drink, bringing back a water for him to sip on as they continued the story, time passing by without either of their knowledge of just how long they’d been sitting here.  Even Levi, usually so much more active, was content to sit here and watch, hardly noticing his inactivity as he drank up every scene, every word, some ringing out through his mind, others falling into place as narrative importance, worry and elation and nostalgia, as well as so much more, all stirred together inside him, Y/N curled up like a kitten at his side, his arm still leaning against the back of the couch, his hand resting softly on her shoulder.

However, while he and Y/N were falling into a position of ease, the story seemed to be starting to shift more to the relationship between Kousei and his mother, and what happened to her.  Kaori was getting worse, it seemed, and they were digging into a relationship that felt, in certain ways, similar to what Levi had gone through, and not too long ago, either, now that he was forced to look at it.  It made him...uncomfortable, to say the least, but he wasn’t saying anything--he needed to see where this story was headed, with how invested he was at this point.  And even if it got personal, he thought he might be able to sit and endure it all the same.

”My mom’s coming from the hospital to see me perform...so you see, in order to make Mom well again, in order to make her happy, I’m gonna play my very best as a gift!”

The first hit actually made him flinch.  It was slight, but it was there, and Y/N might have caught it--he wasn’t expecting it, not from the tone, or what had just been discussed, or the way the scene changed so rapidly from the cheers of the audience after little Kousei finished playing his best for his mother to the slap across his face from the ailing woman.  He suddenly felt tense, his hand still on Y/N’s shoulder and his expression suddenly unreadable as the hits kept coming, making something dark and angry well up inside him as Kousei was hit hard enough to draw blood against a backdrop of the abuse he’d been suffering the entire time.

Perhaps Y/N hadn’t caught it, because she was flinching as well, and her reaction was far more open on her face, eyes watering with near-tears, a slight shake in her body, and the occasional, shaking breath.

”All I wanted was for you to get better.  All I wanted was for you to be happy.  And yet...I wish you would just die.”

“That was the last time I said anything to my mom.”

Levi’s grip tightened on Y/N’s shoulder, but neither of them said a word, a grimness in the air as they continued to watch the story in front of them that had started so colorful but was taking a darker turn rather quickly.

Levi scowled slightly at the switch to such an upbeat little song at the sudden end of the chapter, which would be followed by another upbeat song at the beginning of the next.

“These ‘intros’ and ‘outros’ are deceptively cheerful,” Levi criticized.

“What’s a good story without some struggle?” Y/N replied, though she briefly untangled herself from her position at Levi’s side and wiggled off the couch.  “Though, I think I’m going to go grab some tissues.  I’m starting to think there’s going to be some really sad or heartfelt stuff coming up.  Tell me when it’s back on if I’m still missing!” she added before darting away, leaving Levi to sigh quietly to himself and look up at the ceiling, keeping track of the show in front of him as he waited for her to run off and come back with a colorful box, squirming back into place beside him and letting his hand return to her shoulder as she placed the box next to her on the couch, sighing contently.

“The show must go on!” she insisted, face devoid of the strong emotion they’d been sharing just a few moments ago.  She settled next to him with a soft sigh, the sight of Kousei struggling at the piano returning where the previous chapter left off.

They watched him struggle against the ghost of his mother, trying to force himself to play through it, to play even though he couldn’t hear, even as the sound grated on them.  Watched as he slowly gave up, until he stopped entirely before the song was even over, just like he had with Kaori.

Part of him had expected Kousei to have some kind of revelation just before he quit and push through, but he’d really stopped.  Now it just remained to be seen if he could start again.  Of course, after his performance with Kaori, they knew he was disqualified.  But would he find a reason to play anyway, like she had?

”Even the you that’s here inside me, won’t let me give up.  That day, I wonder.  What did you play for?”

Levi felt the ghost of her fingers on his again, unaware that he was tapping the keys against the skin of her shoulder at the memory.

Once more, the sound changed as Kousei found his reason to play.  The girl who’d changed his world from monotone to color, who dragged him into a whirlwind of life without giving him the chance to think twice about it.

“Just one person matters to me.  Only you matter.  Thank you...Will it reach her?  I hope it reaches her.”

”Your hidden emotions.  The you that you’ve never known.  The piano drags out everything…”

Levi’s gaze once more was unfocused on the screen as he was swept away in a sea of his own thoughts, thinking back to the times he’d listened to Y/N play.  What had he been hearing those days?  What would he hear in her playing in the future?  If he put enough effort into learning to play as she tried to teach him...could it help him communicate some of the things he struggled to say?  It was at least worth giving it a shot.

And he would be sure to pay closer attention in the future to see what he could hear, what he may not be aware of.

The pacing lulled into something more relaxed once more, a brief reprieve after the emotions that were just thrown at them, allowing him and Y/N to talk a bit more, both of them keeping one eye on the subtitles even as they made little comments about what they’d heard so far.  The unspoken love triangle?  Maybe it was a triangle.  The romantic feelings were crisscrossed and all over the place between this group of friends.  They commented on their observations about Kousei and Kaori, what they thought was going to become of the two as they watched, whether Kaori or Tsubaki would end up the one with him in the future.

Music was another thing they talked about, obviously.  How they wanted to hear Kousei and Kaori play together again--and were excited they had the chance to with the upcoming concert.  Y/N also expressed how she loved Chopin pieces, and as a result was happy about how many Chopin pieces were in the show so far and was hoping to hear more.  She also mentioned that Love’s Sorrow, the song they were working on now for the concert, was a beautiful piece--mournful, obviously, but beautiful.  She even offered to help him learn it when he got more used to the piano if he wanted to.

Levi was a little distracted, though, by the further warning signs that something was going to happen to Kaori.  In the same stroke that he contemplated how she had a skill for seeing the beauty in the world, like Y/N tended to do for him, she said something ominous that further solidified a growing suspicion that Levi was keeping in mind.

“You know, I’m not always going to be around to help you.”

As worried about Kaori as that line made Levi for the context of the show, it also reminded him of his own situation with Y/N.  He helped when he could, but he was absent so often...and it worked both ways.  He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself when he was on his own, but Y/N he worried about.  What if something serious happened when he wasn’t around to help her?  Would she be all right?  Would she be able to take care of herself until he could be here to help her?

It was another line that resonated with him, another one that was going to burn in his mind and make him brood over their situation.  This show was rife with them, and it had his emotions all over the place, despite his outward calm posture.

He had no way of knowing just how strongly the next chapter was going to hit him.

He was as riled up as Kousei after hearing that smart mouthed kid claim that the music Kaori made was just disastrous noise.  If he’d ever heard someone say that about the music Y/N played, he was liable to sock them in the mouth.  Honestly, after that comment, he’d thought that the focus was going to be on Kaori again, even with all the recent focus on Kousei’s mother.  That misconception was quickly fixed, though, when the chapter began with a flashback to Kousei’s mother and how he became a pianist, further reinforced when Kousei started to play and they were given the first glimpses into his thought process, and what his new mentor--his mother’s old friend--was thinking.

Kousei’s mother’s favorite song, Kousei’s lullaby.

”Would she have played it like this?”

Kousei was curled up against the wall in the darkness of a room with no one else, knees pulled up to his chest, head buried, trying to shut out the world, the woman who’d known and been close to Kousei’s mother finding him in the darkness as Kousei cried out for his mother, for someone to help him, save him.  Levi tensed, going completely still beside Y/N with his gaze riveted on the scene in front of him.

”That son of ours is about to bid you a last farewell.”

”Will it reach her?”

Levi’s jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together as he attempted to keep a lid on the emotions that were trying to rise inside him again.

“After I’m gone, what’s going to become of Kousei?  Will he be able to earn a living?”

There was a pressure on his chest making it impossible to breathe and a forceful pain in his throat that was pushing right at the back, like there was something stuck there that wanted to come out but couldn’t, because he wouldn’t let it no matter how much it pushed.

”What a terrible mother.  There’s nothing I can leave that boy...”

His breathing ground to a halt except for the barest, shaking whisper through his nose.

“I wish I could’ve stayed with him longer...Will my treasure ever find happiness?”

Eyes fixed on the screen, Levi suddenly felt the overwhelming need to bolt, could feel his fingers and legs twitch like he was about to without warning, but the music was reaching a crescendo, and he thought maybe, just maybe, he might be able to make it through this, even as the pain in his throat and the pressure on his chest seemed to grow more crushing, more painful, so much harder to contain.

”Do you think it reached my mom?  The way I played my very best?  Do you think it reached Mom?”

“You two are connected, aren’t you?  Of course it reached her.”

Kousei broke on screen, and Levi suddenly realized he wasn’t going to make it to the end of the episode.  He needed to bolt now or he might shatter.

Levi tapped Y/N on the shoulder to get her to move, not daring to look at her and possible see her a crying mess already at the emotional scene.  He gave a brief, “I need to take a shit,” that he managed to get out in a steady voice past the pain in his throat by some miracle, and then stood up, the brief statement her only warning to shift before his movement accidentally dumped her on the ground.  He didn’t run to the bathroom, that would be too much of a tell.  Instead, he got up calmly and made his way to the bathroom, not hurrying his step until he was out of sight and already halfway up the stairs.

By the time he reached the bathroom, he couldn’t hold it back any further, safely locked behind the bathroom door with the water in the sink running seconds before he finally choked on the feeling in his throat and chest.  A strangled sound left him, and he leaned over the sink, trying to catch his breath even as his body tried to make him sob.  His breaths hitched painfully, a slight shake in his hands before they clenched the edge of the sink, shoulders hunched and teeth grinding painfully as a soft whine escaped his rigid body.

Y/N was waiting for him.  He couldn’t stay up here forever, but he at least had to get ahold of himself before he headed back down there.  Out of stubborn determination, Levi tried to gulp in air and steady his breath and hands.  Once he had a strong enough hold of his breathing, he cupped his hands under the water and splashed some of it onto his face to help calm himself down.

Only when he felt his composure had returned, Levi dried off his face and hands, then carefully made his way back downstairs, well-aware that the chapter wasn’t even over, and there were still several chapters left--nine, according to Y/N.

A lot could happen in nine chapters.

Levi calmly returned to his seat on the couch, Y/N giving him a quizzical, examining look before she resumed the position they’d been in before resuming the show in the exact spot he’d left--thankfully, it was after Kousei’s breakdown, so he wouldn’t have to see any of that again.

That didn’t, however, mean that he was in the clear.  No, now that they had put a neat little bow on Kousei’s struggle with his mental image of his mother, they were moving on to the one who had been concerning Levi since one of the first few episodes.

”There’s an ever present sorrow hanging over Arima’s music...Then it’s a demon’s path he must walk.  His growth is spurred by sorrow.  If he walks that path, he might have to lose someone to move forward.”

Kaori was in the hospital again, and Levi felt the uneasiness and dread about the direction this show was taking grow substantially.  Especially as Kousei ran inside the room and saw Kaori in the exact position his mother had been in.  The way this show was starting to dig at some subconscious and deeply buried pains and fears of his that he would rather keep far from the front of his mind, but it kept plodding on, and he felt far too invested now to just leave it where it was.  The curiosity and need to know what happened next would eat away at him if he asked Y/N to stop it there--plus, asking that might tip her off that something about it was upsetting him, considering at this point he couldn’t claim he was bored with it.

”You’re gonna be fine, right?”

“I can see you again, right?”

“You won’t leave me like my mom did, right?”

At this point, the focus on Tsubaki and Kousei’s relationship was a much needed break from the reality and darker questions being asked with Kaori and Kousei right now, questions that he had asked himself from time to time regarding Y/N, questions and concerns he didn’t want to think about for his own sanity.  What was happening with Tsubaki was more lighthearted, less grim, even if it was confusing and brought up even more questions to ask himself.  After all, Tsubaki was being faced with the question of how she felt about Kousei--the boy who had been her friend since they were little, who she was falling in love with no matter how much she tried to deny it, who she had always been beside and wanted to be beside forever.

It made him wonder.  He and Y/N were friends--had been for years now.  She was there for him during his darkest moments, and he’d been there for some of her scariest moments.  Yes, they were friends, but...was it starting to go deeper than that?  Did he feel closer to her, somehow?

Her hands had felt warm against his when they played the piano together, pressed against one another with his arms around each other so they wouldn’t get in each other’s way.  His skin had tingled where she touched him when she’d taken care of and cleaned him up after that fight.  He felt comfortable sitting beside her now, with her leaning against him, her head on his shoulder, despite how borderline intimate it felt.

Had she felt something similar?  They hadn’t really looked at each other in these moments--they’d been avoiding looking at each other whenever something like that happened, so he had no idea.  Was she aware of just how comfortable he was around her?  How different that was for him?  Did she have any clue how important she was becoming to him, how big a part of his life she had gradually become despite the very real distance and difference between their two worlds.

This entire time he’d been drawing similarities between them and Kousei and Kaori, when perhaps the comparison should have been with Tsubaki and Kousei.

It sure as hell might make him feel better, considering he was rather sure she had a terminal illness.  After growing up in the Underground and with the experiences he had so far, fatal illnesses were something he could spot, especially when there were as many warning signs as there were for Kaori.  She only seemed to be getting worse--he was pretty sure she’d been told she was going to die, even though there was no audio for the moment to confirm it.  Since the first episode, Kaori had been centered on making an impression, about living on in the memories and hearts of others--she was clearly afraid of disappearing without a trace after she was gone.

Still, amid all the aching and pain, there was still flashes of hope as Kaori struggled against her illness, and more moments that made him think about the relationship between himself and the girl next to him--more damn connections between them and Kousei and Kaori, which did nothing to sooth his nerves and fears he didn’t even know he had.

“Why are the sounds you make so beautiful I think I’m going to cry?”

“That devotion you showed.  Her heart had turned grey, and you gave it color.”

Had he managed to give her what she gave him?  He felt like he didn’t have anything to give, coming from the dreadful world he did.  She was always the one bringing color into his life, had he ever brought color to hers?  Would he ever be able to?  His world, his life, was ugly and dark and probably tragic.  What could he offer her out of that?

”Did I reach him?”

“You don’t have the time to see me.”

“It’s not about time--I want to see you.”

The chapter started so calmly--discussion about the next round of the competition, Kaori continuing her struggle to get better, Tsubaki finally admitting her feelings for Kousei in a way.  Levi even made a quip about how Watari and Kaori really needed to stop dragging him along as the awkward extra in their group, practically rubbing it in his face even if it was unintentional.  There was even another moment of resonance with something Tsubaki said to Kousei.

“So you won’t lose your way, so you won’t have regrets, I’ll stay by your side forever.”

Still, he should have seen it coming.  It shouldn’t have surprised him, considering he was well aware of the cruel shittiness of the world, even if Y/N wasn’t.  All this time he’d spent bracing himself with the hints of just how bad Kaori’s illness was, the ominous lines of hers.  All the lightheartedness and self-discovery of the past several episodes came crashing down with the emergency with Kaori as, from what Levi could see even though they clearly had far more advanced medicine that Levi knew nothing about, Kaori had some kind of close call, a brush with death, right in front of Kousei.  And then with the damn cat getting hit and dying literally moments later, Kousei having to wash the blood off of his hands and breaking down in the wake of everything that was happening.  He shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still ached to see it.

And there were two chapters left.  Realistically, he doubted that Kaori was going to recover in two chapters after all this time.  By now, he was certain that she was going to die by the end of the story.

She wasn’t even gone yet, and Kousei had already given up.  Levi had seen plenty of people reach that point.  No fight left, no will to move.  Kousei was right back in the position he’d been in at the start, the impending loss of Kaori the final nail in his coffin, his breaking point.

“Why does it have to end up this way?  I can’t...go on.  No more...I can’t try anymore.”

He hadn’t hit his breaking point--he hoped he never reached that point.  But he was sure even he had one, even if he wasn’t sure where his limit was.

Levi blinked at the white fluttering from the sky on screen. A novel sight he couldn’t ignore or just accept.  Snow, Kaori called it.

So that was what it looked like.  One of the many things he’d heard about but hadn’t seen…

“Have you seen snow before, Levi?  Since you live Underground,” Y/N suddenly asked from where she was curled up into his side, head turned to look at him curiously.  Levi shook his head no, and she hummed.  “You’ll have to show up some time in the winter so I can show you all kinds of awesome things you can do when it snows.  It’s cold, but it’s fun.  And everything looks so clean and pure...my favorite things are the trees encapsulated in ice,” she said with a wistful sigh, eventually quieting down as the scene on the screen continued to develop.

Maybe one day.  But he would have to come through not only when it was winter, but on a day that there was snow, and he had no control over when he blipped over into her world.

Blipped, blip...her word for when Levi flickered into and out of her world.  Clearly, it had caught on even in his mind.

“The people I care about keep leaving me...I’m going to be left all alone.”

Inwardly, Levi felt himself flinch, and that desire to bolt was trying to rear its head again, the desire for her to shut it off and spare him these comments that kept digging into the darker corners of himself, the weakness he kept hidden away for no one to see.

“But you have me.  But you have me.”

For the first time, Levi felt Y/N’s hand give his little squeeze on his knee as Kaori repeated her sentiment to Kousei.

Perhaps the feelings were mutual.  Maybe he wasn’t the only one drowning in emotions on the inside and drawing parallels while they watched this show, if she was giving him a little squeeze after those words.  After he registered that he had felt it, and he hadn’t imagined it, he gave her shoulder a small squeeze in return.

“I’m going to struggle as hard as I can.  Struggle, struggle, struggle, like there’s no tomorrow.”

“You gave me this desire to cling to the time that I spent with you.  Aren’t you going to struggle to?  We’re so good at struggling.”

Hell if that wasn’t the story of his life so far, right there.

Collectively, the two of them held their breath, watching as, after Kousei declared how useless it was for him to even try to play in the state he was in right now, Kaori got to her feet on her own, and the sound of the violin softly flickered towards them from the screen.  It was like the music was from a dream, her imaginary violin ethereal, Kaori lit up by a flurry of snow as she played to a crescendo and smiled at Kousei.

“See, miracles can happen just like that.”

Shaking, legs trembling, sweating, collapsed into Kousei’s arms with a breathless laugh, clinging to him like a source of comfort.  It wasn’t her reciting of the things she knew about Kousei, or what she wished she knew, that drew a response from him, but her heartfelt pleas with Kousei as he held her in her arms.

“I’m scared.  I’m scared!  Don’t leave me all alone!”

That was why it was familiar.  That was how Y/N had held him when…

And perhaps the reason he’d lashed out when he’d found out about how fleeting this world was for him had been because…

Levi shifted, and it was only when Y/N started to pull away did he realize he’d been shifting to get up and walk away, to bolt.  When she fixed him with that questioning look again, not-yet-spilled tears in her eyes from the emotion of the scene, her hand still fisted in his shirt, it brought him back to what was happening in the present, and he shook his head as if to dismiss the movement as he sat back down, relieved when the scene changed again.

Considering it was going to the competition and Kaori’s surgery at the same time, he doubted he was going to get much of a reprieve before the emotions hit again.  Kousei was still a mess, though it was a miracle he’d at least shown up to the competition, but even watching him was worrisome, wondering if he was going to break at the piano again after all this progress he’d made throughout the show, everyone watching in concern in the show and on the couch.

“I made you remember something you don’t want to remember…”

“I won’t forget, even if I die…”

“You can just forget about it all, like you’ve pressed the reset button…”

“I guess maybe we never should've met, huh?”

Levi had to close his eyes for a moment after that one, sucking in a sharp breath.  It was like it had come right out of his denial of their entire situation, how angry he’d been, the pain it had caused, how for a few moments, he’d felt like it would have been better if he could forget it all, if they had never met, because then he wouldn’t know about what he could never have.  His heart ached painfully, the words reverberating not in his mind, but in his bones as the pain in his throat already seemed to be returning.

He opened his eyes, and on screen, Kousei started to break down again, face in his hands, on the brink of tears seated at the piano, on stage in front of everyone once again.

Tsubaki sneezed, and after a few moments of reflecting, after realizing how many people he knew were there...Kousei finally began to play, the notes reverberating deep inside his chest in a full, resonating sound.  Something about it made him nostalgic, but also so...it was so…

“Bursting with such mournful color.”

The chapter suddenly came to an end mid performance, which startled Levi--especially when Y/N darted forward so suddenly to grab the remote and quickly jump to the next one, immediately snapping back into his side, clutching to his clothes like her life depended on it, curled into a ball as he realized for the first time that tissue box was suddenly right in front of her, easily accessible.

The last episode.

Considering the set-up, neither of them were going to get through this last part unscathed emotionally.

It started from the beginning of the piece this time, the commentary being made by the onlookers and Kousei different this time, centered entirely on Kousei after the very beginning.  Levi and Y/N were both enraptured by the performance though, holding to one another on the couch with gazes fixed forward, completely still, even their breathing slight as they paid full attention to every word, and let the music pull them in deeper into the emotional symphony Kousei was creating with just the piano.

“I’m so scared...Somebody…”

“But you have me.”

“I’m not alone.  From the moment that we meet someone else, none of us can ever be alone.  We’re all connected.”

Levi’s grip tightened slightly on Y/N’s shoulder again, and he felt her grip tighten in return.

“Don’t leave me all alone.”

“Dummy, you have me.”

“Inside me...you exist.”

Y/N nuzzled into his side like a cat, and he thought he felt his shirt starting to get damp.  He ignored it, keeping his grip on her firm and steady, staying still beneath her as he stared stalwartly at the screen, even as the emotions were starting to stir violently around inside him.

”No way am I going to leave you all alone.  Reach her.  Reach her.  Reach her.  Reach her.”

The scenery changed entirely, like Kousei was playing in the sky amid a shower of colors, floating around like leaves that autumn day when he and Y/N had jumped into the piles and sent them scattering into the air.  Kaori’s whispered ‘Thank you’ as Kousei carried her back down the stairs sent a shiver down his spine, especially when Kousei of the present reacted, and turned his head to see Kaori materializing beside him, violin in hand.

Beside him, there was suddenly a whine from Y/N, and a rather large sniffle, as well as that damp feeling on his clothes starting to spread.  She trembled slightly beneath his arm and hand, and he realized she was starting to cry rather heavily, her face partially buried in his side.

The music was jarring, disorienting, suddenly intense and tragic as Kousei closed his eyes, barely holding back tears.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

And there it was.

Kaori’s rich violin playing joined into Kousei’s suddenly mournful and tragic playing, and Levi realized that they were witnessing the last time the two would get to play together.  It couldn’t happen again in body, but at least in spirit.  Words weren’t needed for this moment.  Nothing was said between the characters on the screen, and not a word was spoken between Levi and Y/N.  She was continuing to cry into his side, with Levi starting to semi-awkwardly rub her shoulder to try and comfort her even as his own heart seemed to be pounding painfully at the sight in front of him, every note piercing him deeper than he thought possible with the raw emotion behind and pure weight of this single moment.  All there was at this moment in time, was him, Y/N, and the music being created on the stage in front of them between Kaori and Kousei, one last time.

A sob broke past Y/N’s control as the colorful day turned into a rich night, and Kaori stopped playing.  Levi held his breath, watching as transfixed on the scene as Kousei was transfixed on Kaori, the music softening for the briefest moment before it started to turn slow, mournful, and tragic again.

”Wait...please don’t go!”

As Kousei started to beg Kaori to do all of these things with him again, good and bad, Levi felt the pressure on his chest return, the burn in his eyes and the clench in his jaw, the pain in his throat.  Memories of his own were flickering before his eyes in place of what Kousei begged of Kaori.

A small hand offering a still-warm roll.  A splash of cool water to the face with shrieks and giggles filling the air.  The security of being able to lean comfortably against a warm back with the sun shining down from above, hands gripping his legs and his arms wrapped around the girl who carried him home on her back.  The cool taste of ice cream as they leaned against the brick store.  A gentle hand rubbing soft circles on his back as he slipped in and out of lucid thought in his feverish state.  The sound of hope amid darkness that they managed to create together despite his crude piano playing.  Her hand even now clenched tightly in his shirt seeking comfort, like when he’d led her home in the dark through the desert.

His hand was stretched out before him, pulled along by the girl that suddenly disappeared when he closed his eyes.  He tried to reach a little further, as if his fingertips could press past some veil between his world and hers, so he could reach her even for another moment.  The warmth and the softness of the comfort she wrapped him in evaporated into smoke between his fingers, disappearing in translucent curls, leaving him with nothing to hold, the weight of her presence suddenly disappearing.

What if one day he didn’t come back?

What if one day it all just...ended?  Without any warning?  The only sign that he would never return the passage of time and gradual loss of hope?

“Don’t go, don’t go, please don’t go, please don’t leave me behind!”

Y/N was sobbing openly into his side now, but she didn’t move to stop the show--she kept watching it.  Levi was unaware of the fact that his hand was shaking against her shoulder, all of his effort on keeping the emotions bottled inside him as he watched Kaori disappear before Kousei’s eyes in a flurry of petals, swept away by an indifferent wind.

The rest of the last chapter seemed to pass by in a blur, Levi spending most of that time trying to work his way down from the emotions that scene had stirred up in him, glancing over at Y/N to see a collection of tissues around her while her gaze remained fixed forward, still a blubbering mess over the events that were unfolding on screen.  Shards of Kaori’s letter made it through to Levi, certain fragments sticking with him in the moment, others slowly settling in likely to make an impact on him later.

“I want Kousei to play the piano for me!”

He understood that sentiment.  He loved listening to Y/N play for him, it was one of the many reasons why he brought it up so often.  Sure, it was nice she was trying to teach him to play, but the true moment of enjoyment for him was when she played for him.

“Isn’t it funny how the most unforgettable scenes can be so trivial?”

“None of it was trivial.”

No, none of it was.  From playing card games in her room to playing tag on the playground, or eating frozen treats on the steps while they played simple games with their hands.  Every little moment was one Levi kept stored away, a secret trove of memories just for him and her, something bright and...something that the Underground couldn’t corrupt, because it couldn’t reach or touch this world or the girl at his side.

“Was I able to live inside your heart?  Do you think you’ll remember me at least a little?  You better not hit reset.  Don’t forget me, okay?  That’s a promise, okay?  I’m glad it’s you, after all.”

Like Y/N said, just because the moments were fleeting, didn’t mean they didn’t matter.  Even if they stopped one day, for whatever reason...at least he would have everything that had come before, the memories, the moments that nothing could take away.  He didn’t think she would want him to try and forget, anyway.  And a part of him wouldn’t want her to forget him, either.  Unlike everything else in his life so far, he wanted this good thing to last, one way or another.

“Will I reach you?  I hope I can reach you.”

This time, when his mind procured the image of his hand outstretched in front of him, trying to catch the disappearing back of the girl in front of him, fingers finding nothing but air, he let his hand squeeze slightly against Y/N’s shoulder once more, reminding himself she was right here in his arms right now, and not to take that for granted.  Maybe sometimes she’d be out of reach, but right now, she was right here.  She wasn’t always out of reach.  He’d just have to make each moment he was here count for something.

Thankfully, she already seemed pretty good at making that happen, so he felt like he wouldn’t have to worry about it too much.  She was always taking him by the hand to have him run with her wherever she wanted to go and explore, and so far, she hadn’t made him regret following her on her little adventures.

She made his life colorful.

“Thank you for being my friend, Levi.”

“I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

Next Chapter---->

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn @humanitys-hottestsoldier @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea

Through The Looking Glass Tags:  @artist-bby @kaz2y5-pie​ @tartheyes​ @super-peace-fangirl​ @huntersbunker​ @nefelimalfoy​ @soft-levi-girl-blog​ @honeygivemeachainsaw @regalillegal​ @sugas-daddy7​ @cathyannecookie @chaoticshepardplaid @roayaloveslife​ @sanrioclit​

[cottoncandy-jester]

✨lie down darling it's time for a dream✨

3rd gym squad with deaf S/O

This squad needs more love they are all adorable babies maybe I'll do a poly story with them later

This story contains: talks of bullying, wholesomeness, just soft warm stuff with a hint of angst

Akaashi keiji

He makes sure everyone knows that you're deaf if they ever want to talk to you

He is always respectful and makes sure to never scare you by randomly touching you

He knows a little sign language but you two mostly write or text each other

He loves to kiss you on your ears and neck

He actually loves to hear you laugh

You always say you have a weird laugh but he doesnt agree

He likes to hold your hand when you two are out in public

He doesn't really like to baby you though since he knows you are capable of being independent

But please rely on him if you need to

If you ever get stressed or anything he is the type to pull you away from the situation and comfort you

You and keiji were on a date getting crepes, you got banana and he got strawberry but you would often take bites out of each others, keiji leaned forward taking a bite of your crepe and getting whip cream on his nose which made you laugh

Your loud laugh made him smile but he glanced around seeing people stare at you, he hoped you didnt notice but dadly you did and quickly covered your mouth with your hand now overthinking and tears started to brim in your eyes but you jumped when you felt a soft hand on yours.

You looked up and saw keiji texting on his phone so you pulled out yours to see what exactly he wanted to say.

"let's take our crepes to go and take a walk? I love you."

You looked up only to see the male softly smiling at you before you gave a happy nod. You two decided to walk around the park hands held tightly as Akaashi talked to you about volleyball making sure to talk slow enough for you to read his lips.

Bokuto koutaro

He had no idea when you two first went out

He is always showing you off like a trophy though

"MY BABY IS THE CUTEST THING EVER! LOOK AT THEM!"

Even though you cant hear him he is still super loud around you

He sometimes forgets you are deaf so when you stare blankly after he just ranted for ten minutes awaiting your response he realizes that he spoke way too fast for you

You somehow taught him sign language but you two also created your own special symbols that only you two know

If you use the symbol during a game he is going to be super pumped

the others drag you to him if he is in emo mode

He likes your voice

He knows talking is hard but he just wants to hear you say his name

With a lot of speech therapy you fulfilled his wish and he knew right there that he wanted to marry you

It was an off day for him, he wasn't playing as well as he nirnally was and that was cause you were late to his match. Every second he got he would searched the crowd for you and miss the ball.

The team lost the first set and something needed to change before they lost the game, as bokuto sat on the bench drinking water he couldnt help but think of you.

Luckily akaashi had your number and just before bokuto was about to get back to the game he heard the doors swing open and his name called

"KOUTARO!"

His eyes landed on you who was rushing to him while panting, his entire body froze as he watched you and his ears were ringing as tears rolled down his now red face. He thought he was dreaming but you did it again when you nearly tacked him in a hug

"koutaro! M' sorry!"

Bokuto shakily wrapped his arms around you tightly now peppering kisses all over your head and face when you looked at him.

"you- you said my name! Ah! You're here! Did you run here you look so tired! Did you come to see me win? Haha I can't lose now can I?"

Bokuto was so excited and rambling so you simply yanked him down to your level before selling your lips against his.

That definitely perked him up and before you knew it the male was energized and ready to win the game.

His lucky charm was hear after all

Kuroo testuro

He is pretty goofy with you

He loves physical touches to let you know he loves you

Honestly he is the type to pull your cheeks and watch you whine about it

He likes to playfully tease you by calling you his little mouse

He is also a fan of ear kisses

Always kisses your ears or licking your ear lobes

If you aren't paying attention to him or zoned out that's how he gets your attention

He makes sure you are taken care of though

If anyone was to bully you he would definitely get pissed

He likes dates at home where you two just watch tv

Always makes sure subtitles are on no matter what

Knows a little bit of sign language just small stuff

You two mostly use your ability to read lips

He likes when you watch him practice and tends to work extra hard

Please say his name

He doesn't care what you sound like he just wants you to say his name or laugh with him

Your laugh makes him grin so much

He likes your cute little whines and whimpers the most

He is a teasing demon

"what's wrong little mouse? You look so red and flushed"

Kuroo made sure to talk slow so you can clearly read each and every word, you sat in his lap facing him while he waited for the others to come into the gym for practice.

He normally isn't one to show up early but he wanted alone time with you, with a shaky breath a small whimper escaped you as the male leaned forward trailing his tongue along your ear now running his fingers along your waist under your shirt.

"you can't hear me, but I love you so much"

His breath on your ears gave you shivers before you slowly trailed your hands along his chest under his shirt. He was going to kiss you but the sounds of the gym doors sliding open startled him and he pulled back now simply pressing you close to his chest.

You glanced and saw yaku and lev walk in which made you jump lightly and gripped kuroo's jacket lightly before looking up at him as he simply kissed your head.

"yeah I know, we can play later for now me a good mouse and watch your kitty cat practice" as he lifted you off his lap and onto the bench he couldn't help but feel annoyance as more members walked into the gym..damn it those cockblockers.

Tsukishima kei

He pretends he's not over protective but he is

No one is allowed to get a foot close to you unless they want to get the death glare

You are to hold his hand wherever you two go

He made a playlist for you and made sure all the songs had a loud bass so you can feel the vibrations against your ears

He loves listening to music with you and usually uses a speaker so you can touch it and feel it

He does pick on you but only he can do that

If he needs something and you aren't looking at him he will touch your hand or reach to touch your face

"oi, look at me more idiot. How are you supposed to know what I'm saying if you don't?"

He likes to make you wear his jacket all the time so everyone knows who you belong to

Any bullies you get will be dealt with

He loves to kiss all over your face when you two are alone

Mostly cause it makes you laugh

Will use sign language with you if he wants to say something embarrassingly sweet infront of people

Your body in his jacket made his heart swell, you decided to join him during practice and watch him, this only made him more determined to impress you though he wouldn't admit that fact. He was pretty busy with practice that he didn't quite notice strangers walking into the gym.

They were probably going to watch the game as well, so when tsukishima did see them walk in he didn't pay it much mind. Before he knew it they were sitting next to you, one on either side of you.

"so, you watching a friend play?"

"maybe a boyfriend?"

Of course you didn't hear them and they just thought you were being rude so one of them roughly tapped your shoulder earning your attention.

You tried to watch his lips move but he was talking to fast, when you started to use sign language that's when it all went to hell.

"oi! You deaf or something?! So you can't hear anything I said! That's rude as hell! Shouldn't you be wearing a special sign that says so?!"

The two started to bother you now pushing you around and it didn't take lone til one of them pushed you off the bench and started to make you cry.

Your panicked sobs echoed in tsukishima's ears before he walked over like an angry bull, all he could see was red and he wasn't afraid to get into a fight.

"hey! The hell do you think your doing?! Leave them the hell alone!"

Tsukishima's tall height scared the bullies away and the blonde quickly scooped you into his arms now looking at your face, he noticed a bruise from when you were shoved.

"damn it, those assholes. Hey look at me! You okay?"

You gave a small nod before tsukishima simply carried you into his arms feeling you wrap your legs around him.

"I'm leaving practice."

With that he walked to the locker room to get changed and get his things with you never leaving his side.

He made sure to be more aware of you and those around you, you were so fragile and small and he didn't want to see you get hurt.

Hinata shoyo

He is willing to fight for you

Like a tiny bodyguard

Loves to hear you talk even if you don't like it

Is willing to learn sign for you

But he is dumb so he mixes up signs

He would rather just talk slowly or write

Gets all serious when someone picks on you

He loves to mouth out super cute things

Kisses all over for days

Please come watch him play

Will try and ask daichi for a time out if you show up late to his match

He needs to kiss you!

S I M P

He doesn't have money but he will give you anything you want

Hinata laughs as you straddled him now tickling his sides, it was supposed to be a netflix date but it quickly turned into a tickling match. Hinata was quickly losing this battle but was having fun anyways, he suddenly flipped you over and pinned your hands above your head not realizing how suggestive this looks

"ah...hah..not funny, my stomach hurts now"

As he looked down at you he found himself staring into your eyes a blush forming on his cheeks. You always looked so cute to him, a cute angel that made his insides tingle.

"you're, so cute."

He couldn't help but laugh at your red face and he released your hands only for you to sit up and hold his face in your hands

"shoyo..cute..too"

Those three words made him jolt and before you know it he buried his face in your neck squealing and holding you close. You can feel his pounding heartbeat against your own and simply smiled

Lev haiba

Okay so for the first month of your relationship he just thought you were a mute

Poor fool thought everytime you didn't respond in some way meant you were mad at him

After crying to yaku who explained that you were deaf he ended up apologizing to you

He still forgets that you are deaf a lot

He likes it when you cling to his clothes when you both are in a crowd

He tries not to talk too fast but sometimes you have to tug him by his shirt to tell him to slow down

Can't sign to save his life

He often used really dramatic gestures to get you to understand at times

He doesn't mean to offend he's just nervous and doesn't know what to say

He loves you to death

Also a S I M P

You want a snack? Write it down he got you

Want his jacket? Oh he's taking it off as we speak

Need him to carry you? Of course he will!

He doesn't like fighting so with bullies he just presents his height and they normally back off

He is a jealous boy though cause kenma and you sign all the time

Lev watched with a pout as kenma moved his hands fluently signing to you, lev couldn't get the grasp of it but kenma learned fast. This bugged lev since his worst thought was that kenma would steal you away from him!

"it's no fair! He has better hair than me!"

His complaining was cut short by yaku who kicked the Russian in the leg, this made lev fall and he let out a pained groan

"yakuuuuu I can't practice right now my partner is being stolen by kenma!"

"idiot! They are obviously hanging around him cause it's easier to talk to kenma than it is you"

This made lev look to you and he soon came up with an idea. He rushed over to you and kenma before softly grabbing your hand.

This made you jump and you looked over in confusion before smiling softly at his joyful expression.

"I know I tend to talk too fast sometimes, but please don't replace me with kenma! I love you so so much!"

He talked slowly making sure you get every single word and he was shocked to hear your laughter, he glanced over at kenma who now walked away not wanting to ruin whatever moment was happening.

"why you laughing?"

You took out a notepad and a pen before starting to write before handing it to him

As he read what you said his heart started to swell.

"silly! I'm not replacing you with kenma! I love you! More than anything!"

He couldn't help but hug you tightly kissing your face over and over again.

"I love you too! You love me too even if I can't sign! Or even if I mess up? Ahhh! I love you so much! Marry me [y/n]!"

You weren't quite sure what he was saying but you knew he was happy and that made you happy.

[psychedellic-phase]

Fifteen (pt 3)

A/N: Thank you so much for the support so far! This is the first fic I’ve posted anywhere in a long time. I’m totally down to do any requests! There are some season 6 spoilers in this part so SPOILER Alert!! xoxo R

tw: none! just more fluffiness

word count: 2444

(part 1) (part 2) 

masterlist

The third envelope, which was labeled #2, was much thicker than the first two. Spencer held it in his hands for a while, just tracing over where you wrote #2. He always made fun of you for writing it like a kindergarten teacher. 

“Adults make a two with the loop at the bottom,” He would joke any time you had to write it. 

“Good thing I’m not an adult,” You’d reply. 

He smiled at the memory. That’s one of the reasons he fell in love with you. You were so incredibly intelligent but also so clueless at the same time. You were definitely book smart. But common knowledge and sense? Not much of that in your pretty head. He liked that though; it meant you didn’t take yourself too seriously. You were down to Earth and kept him there with you, a trait he had to learn as he grew older. He didn’t even realize you taught him so much; he was always too busy trying to teach you. 

Ripping open #2 he started to read, a warm fuzzy feeling filling his chest: 

“Item 2 is a ticket to the Korean Film festival we went to together. So take it out and admire how bent and worn it is. I was so nervous that day I folded it into tiny pieces in my pocket just so my hands had something to do.”

He took it out of the plastic bag you put it in. It really was bent and worn, so much so you could barely read the name and date, July 7. 

“That was our first official date, though we had a lot of time to bond between November 17 and that day. Emily died. Well, not really, but we thought she did. We’d take turns crying on the other’s shoulder. Some days I’d show up at yours and you’d immediately know that I just needed you to be strong for me. I’d often return the favor. We were still just friends then, but our pain bonded us in ways no one else really understood. We get each other, Spence, or at one point in our lives we did. I’m not so sure I understand you anymore, at least not like I used to.  Sometimes I’d come over and we wouldn’t cry. You’d teach me chess and card games. But usually we would cry, and that was okay. 

That was the start of our platonic sleepovers. Do you remember our first one? The night I cried myself to sleep on your couch and instead of kicking me out you put a blanket over me. You thought I was out cold, but I felt you tuck it around me, your hands lingering for a second too long. For the next few weeks we did that when we didn’t have cases. We’d talk about Em and life and everything and cry, and one of us would crash on the other’s couch. Then, if Hotch didn’t send the bat signal for us, we’d get coffee and pancakes the following morning at IHOP. It became a sweet tradition, born out of one of the darkest times in my life. You always took me at my most vulnerable, loved me, and kept me safe. I don’t think I ever really thanked you for that. So, thank you. 

Everyone else didn’t think they were platonic. I mean if I were them I wouldn’t have thought we were ‘just friends’ either. The fact that we started carpooling together after our sleepovers probably didn’t help our case. I remember one time I brought you to work with me after an IHOP blueberry pancake breakfast. Rossi ran into us in the elevator and commented that you had on the same exact suit as the day before and that we had been coming to work together a lot lately. We both blushed profusely; we knew what his side eye meant.  It’s funny how everyone else knew we loved each other except us. Some profilers we are. 

Okay so back to the ticket. Emily’s loss made me look at life differently. Before she died, I confided in her how I felt. She’s the closest thing to a best friend I ever had. Being her usual supportive self, she told me to go for it. That you felt the same about me. That we’d be perfect for each other. That you adored me. I desperately wanted her to be right, so I selfishly believed her. 

When she left, I realized how quickly we can lose each other. And her support of us told me what I needed to do. In some weird way it felt like I was doing her justice by pursuing you. I decided I wasn’t going to wait and risk losing you too. So I bought tickets to the Korean film festival in Georgetown you talked about for weeks, even though I know zero Korean. I walked up to you and flashed two tickets. The look on your face is one I’ll never forget. Your eyes lit up and you smiled bigger than I had seen in months. You (thankfully) agreed to go with me. 

“I didn’t know you knew Korean,” You said as I drove us there. (I sneakily put on Stacy’s Mom then too, but I don’t think you realized)”

He chuckled. He most definitely did notice that, but what you didn’t notice was how he looked at you as you mumbled the lyrics to yourself. It was dusk and the street lights illuminated your face just so. It occurred to him then that he’d never seen anyone more beautiful than you in that moment, and probably never would again. 

Spencer put the ticket and letter down on the table and got up to pace again. He knows exactly how this story ends; he wrote it with you. And in this story he’s the villain. 

His stomach twisted up in knots. He rushed back to the table to grab the letter, but his eyes were too bleary with tears to read any of the words. Truthfully, he didn’t want to read them. He wasn’t ready to relive it yet. He wasn’t ready to feel it, because up until now he still got to see you and talk to you. He was able to protect you, just like he had all those nights when you cried in his arms. 

He blinked forcefully a few times, forcing his vision to clear enough to keep going.  

“I told you I didn’t know Korean. All I know is enough Spanish to get myself through cases. You smiled at that. 

“Then why did you want to come?” You asked me. 

“Because you wanted to come.” My answer was honest. I love so many things I never thought I would because of you, Spence. You didn’t answer me; the smile on your face was answer enough. Naturally, I got even more nervous. 

“So since there are no subtitles will you translate for me as it happens?” I asked; you nodded. 

We were strolling around the park the festival was at. It was warm out but you still had on pants and a dress shirt. I don’t know how you did that. I had on a dress and was still sweating. We got there early and were waiting for the first movie to start. 

“You know, (Y/N), 1.2 million Americans speak Korean. Korean culture is becoming a vibrant subculture in America. The success of things like anime, Korean Dramas and Korean pop music are just going to add to that number.”

That’s when I looked at you. Your hair had gotten a little longer, but it was cute. Looking back, every hair you’ve ever had was cute. I miss running my hands through it to mess it up. Your eyes were trained on the people milling around us, and mine were on you. I love when you spew out stats. Contrary to popular belief, smart IS sexy. But anyways, your eyes looked so brown and reflected the lights so beautifully. I’ll miss staring into them and getting lost. I once told you I never liked the color brown until I saw your eyes. That’s still true. 

“But like 50 million speak Spanish. So I think my tenth grade skills are more applicable,” I joked. 

“It’s actually 41 million and I agree. Spanish is a very important language to know. But only a tenth grade level? Say something in Spanish.”

“Tú y yo va a ver una película,” I said in the worst Spanish accent ever. You laughed and said some beautiful Korean like it was nothing. I grabbed your hand. You flinched and looked at me confused. I gave it a reassuring squeeze and ran my thumb across the parts of your hand I could reach. That’s when you realized this was a “date” date and not a friend date. I could almost immediately see the red creep up your cheeks. 

We found a place to sit and the movie started. It was called The Housemaid. And true to your word you translated the whole thing for me, much to the dismay of everyone around us. I found myself nestled into your side with your arm around me. You were whispering everything in my ear. Your breath tickled my neck and sent a chill down my spine. Truthfully, I missed half of what you said because I was too focused on not losing my shit. Here you were, the guy I was in love with, arm around me whispering sweet foreign words in my ear. Anyone would melt instantly. 

We got through two and a half movies that night. I don’t remember the other two—“

“Sisters on the Road and A Frozen Flower!” Spencer spoke out loud then, as if you could hear him. When he realized you definitely couldn’t hear him because you were in Seattle, and definitely not in his apartment, he groaned and kept reading. 

“We had already watched like four hours of movies and I was getting hungry. So, we stopped and got ice cream. I scolded you for getting a large when we both know you can’t have dairy, to which you just shrugged and said, “Dairy allergies are the most common in the world. 65% of the population has issues with lactose. You can’t expect 4,485,000,000 people to not eat ice cream, especially when it’s delicious.” 

I rolled my eyes, “Well don’t come crying to me when your tummy hurts later.”

“Oh I most definitely will be coming and crying to you.”

We walked like that for a while, hand in hand, until the chill of the night got to us. We made our way back to my car and you opened the door for me like a gentleman. I wanted to invite you back to my place, but I thought that might give the wrong impression for a first date. So instead I drove you home and you didn’t invite me in. I was a little hurt, honestly. I have been in your apartment more times than I can count, so what was one more? It’s okay though. You made up for it. Remember? 

We were sitting on the side of the street and you didn’t get out of the car yet. The windows were down and the radio was off. We listened to the sound of crickets and passing cars as we enjoyed each other’s company in a different way than we ever had before. 

“It’s almost midnight, get some sleep. Your brain needs rest after all that translating.” 

“Your brain doesn’t rest when you sleep, your body does,” You said and turned to me. Our faces were probably only six inches apart. Your breath was hot on my cheeks and you kept doing that damn tongue thing. 

“But you need some sleep (Y/N). You don’t sleep well.”

“I sleep well on your couch,” I said and you smiled. The space between us had gotten much much smaller. 

I put my hand on your cheek and felt the slight stubble there. You made the first move Spence. All I did was hold your face, you’re the one who closed the gap. 

That was one of the best kisses of my life. It lasted maybe ten seconds, but it was ten seconds that took years to get to. It was all that longing and pining and pent up feelings released at once. Nothing in the world is as special as kissing you, Spencer Reid. 

That next Monday we got shit from the team. Garcia is such a blabbermouth. Derek and Rossi made fun of us like middle schoolers. Hotch gave us that big bad ‘one of you will have to leave speech’. Deep down they were all happy for us. We all needed something to be happy about. And we were happy Spence, so so happy. Until we weren’t. 

So take this bent up ticket and admire it again before placing the memory of our first date on a shelf in the corner of your mind that will get dusty. I hope someday you’ll brush it off and relive it. 

There’s a Korean proverb I learned from you, that means: ‘At the end of hardship comes happiness.’ 

I hope that’s true.

xo,

YN”

Spencer put the letter down and picked up the ticket. He walked across the living room to a corkboard on the wall. There he took a pushpin and fastened the ticket to the board. It was surrounded by pictures of everyone he loves. Group pictures, his mom, Henry, pictures of the two of you. But in the center of it all was that ticket that had been so bent up because of how nervous you were for your date. He never told you how nervous he was then too. He had to make sure he wasn’t stuttering through the translations. Your close proximity to him, the smell of your perfume, and warmth of your body pressed against him made it hard to think. He held your hand so tightly that night because he thought that maybe you wouldn’t notice how badly they were shaking. He only got up the nerve to kiss you because when you weren’t looking he texted Derek, and he told him he had to. He remembered how his heart felt like it was leaping out of his chest when he closed the gap, how you sighed into him, how you sucked on his lower lip ever so slightly. You were right, nothing is quite like kissing the love of your life. It’s like every kiss you ever had before that kiss, the kiss, didn’t count. It’s the only kiss that matters. 

He admired the ticket one last time, before reaching in to grab envelope #3. 

Part 4!

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