#something horrible is about to happen and she can't see what leads them there but she's poking around all possible futures

[novantinuum]

all right i've had my fill of writing happy nice things.

i'm in the mood to write Pain now.

might fuck around n find out with my garnet POV everything's fine intervention idea i've had in my head for a bit.

[ashwhowrites]

Eddie Munson x cheerleader! reader, Eds and Reader don't know each other, but Max and Dustin know both Eddie and Reader, and they both think that they would be a great couple so they try to get them to know each other but it never works. But what if Reader goes to the trailer park to take care of Max, or help her with homework but on her way to Max's trailer, Reader falls and Eddie sees it and helps her, after some time, Eddie and Reader start dating and it made Max and Dustin happy but they argue about who made that it happened? (I hope this make sense! I just imagine Max and Dustin seeing how similar Reader and Eddie are in some aspects so they're like, yeah, they would be a great couple, but for some reason, they can't make them like meet each other or even see each other! you can change some things if you think it'll be better!)

I love writing Max as a bestie. This idea is adorable. I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it! Thank you for requesting♥︎

Wingman vs Wingwoman

Max was surprised to find herself being friends with a cheerleader, granted it was forced in the beginning. Max's mom has been on an insane level since everything happened with Billy, so she refuses to let Max be alone. Y/N became Max's babysitter, Max wasn't warmed to the idea at first but now it was more of friends hanging out compared to babysitting.

Y/N was way more chill and interesting than the other cheerleaders, shocking Max. They talked, watched horror movies, shared comic books, and went to skate parks. With all of Y/N's badass interests, Max realized she might not be the only one who would adore her. Max knew she had to get Y/N to meet Eddie.

Dustin fell in love with Y/N the second she walked into the student council. Dustin's mom wanted him to engage in more school activities ( apparently hellfire wasn't real enough. ) But the student council wasn't horrible when Y/N was the president. Dustin was a love-sick puppy when it came to her and he practically was her vice president with how much he did for the club. Or for her. With her leading confidence and how high she held her head, Dustin couldn't help but see a bit of Eddie in her. That's when it snapped in Dustin's head that Eddie would love to meet this girl.

~~~

Max was rushing Y/N to Hellfire with a purpose in mind.

"I'm gonna be late for the student council!" Y/N groaned as Max dragged her arm down the opposite hallway.

"I know! I just need to show you something." Max said, a tiny smirk on her face. Her blue eyes lit up with mischief.

Max cheered as they reached the door, Y/N looked at her confused for two reasons. One, Max was excited about something, and two it was about a door with hellfire written on cardboard.

"What the hell is this?" Y/N asked, Max didn't answer, so she yanked open the door.

Max's smile and mood fell when she didn't see Eddie. Just the same losers she always saw.

"Where is he?" Max demanded, her foot stomped against the glossy floor.

~

"Dustin, dude, we can't be late for this campaign. The rest of the sheep are already set up." Eddie scolded but Dustin didn't listen. Just yanking Eddie down the hall.

"Just one minute!" Dustin groaned. He sighed at the lack of patience Eddie had.

"Where are we even going?" Eddie huffed.

"Tada!" Dustin cheered as he yanked open the wooden door. Eddie peeked in over Dustin's head and felt confused.

"Tada? It's a group of nerds talking about the school."

"It's called the student council, and she's not here!" Dustin growled. Where the hell was she?

~~~

Max and Dustin had no idea they were trying to get Y/N and Eddie to see each other. And they had no idea they were backfiring each other's plans.

"No! I need Eddie, I've been trying to get him to meet this girl for weeks!" Max snapped at Dustin, her icy blue eyes glaring straight at him.

Dustin felt himself shivering in fear but tried to stay confident.

"I don't care. I've got a way better girl for Eddie to meet."

"Mine's better, just watch." Max scoffed as she raced off on her skateboard.

"What did red want?" Eddie asked as he walked to his van.

"No clue. But look, I need you to drop me off at school early tomorrow, student council meeting." Dustin lied, Eddie huffed but agreed as he started the engine.

~

"Max, what's up? Dustin said he needed me this morning." Y/N asked as Max kept looking up and down the hallways.

"I just need to see something!" Max said as she looked into the parking lot. She saw Eddie's van but she couldn't find him at all. She checked all the rooms she knew Eddie knew but nothing.

~

"Dude, we've been here for ten minutes, when does this meeting start? We are the only ones here." Eddie sighed. He could have gotten another hour of sleep but this damn kid.

Dustin checked his watch with a pit of anxiety in his stomach. Y/N said she'd be here and she is nowhere to be seen.

"Whatever. I'm going to have a smoke." Eddie said as he walked out the door.

Not even two minutes later Y/N walked in with a grumpy Max.

"Of fucking course," Dustin said as he shook his head.

~~~

Max and Dustin were slowly wanting to give up. Every plan they had was backfired. Somehow Eddie and Y/N were always at the wrong place at the right time.

Y/N groaned as she walked through the muddy trailer park. She regretted wearing her nice shoes. A huge van came speeding down the road, frightening her into slipping in the mud.

She groaned as she landed on her ass. Now her clothes were as muddy as her shoes.

The van slammed on their breaks and a boy came running out.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." The boy apologized, he kneeled next to her as he softly helped her stand up.

She went to scream in his face but once she took in his face, she was silent. He was the most gorgeous boy she's ever seen. His soft skin, bone structure, nice jaw, and flowing brown curls rested on his shoulders.

"Oh, that's alright." She shrugged off with a smile. She was sure she'd have fallen for him the same way if he still wasn't holding her up by the waist.

Eddie didn't hear a word she said. Too amazed at how beautiful the girl was. He didn't even realize he was still touching her until she shifted.

"Shit sorry." He apologized again as he removed his hands. He took in her muddy clothes.

"This will sound so creepy, but can I drive you to my trailer to get you new clothes? I feel awful." Eddie smiled as she laughed.

"It is super creepy, but I also don't want to babysit in these clothes." So she agreed and they rode off to his trailer. Only to connect the dots that Max was right across the way.

"Here! It's just an old shirt and some sweatpants." Eddie said as he handed Y/N the clothes.

"Do you want me to drive you to the trailer you need?" Eddie asked as they stood at his front door.

"It's actually just right there so I can walk. Thank you, what was your name?" She asked.

"Eddie Munson, and you?" He asked as he held out his hand.

~

Max eyed Y/N as she walked in covered in mud and clothes in her hand.

"What happened to you?" Max asked as she got off the couch.

"Slipped in mud, but I got new clothes so gonna change!" Y/N said she walked into the bathroom, with a smile on her face.

~~~

A month passed and Max was preparing to give up. No matter what she did, she never got Eddie and Y/N in the same room.

"Why can't you come tonight again?" Max asked, Y/N walked beside her down the hallway.

"I've got a date, but your mom is staying home," Y/N explained.

"Where is the date? I've got a guy for you and I bet he's way better than whatever loser you picked yourself."

"Rude, he is not a loser. I appreciate in a weird way that you want to set me up, but I'm fine. We are going to the movies."

~

"Dustin, I can't! I'm going to the movies for a date." Eddie sighed as he searched for an outfit to wear.

"Waste of time, bro. I've got the perfect girl for you. Just cancel, then come be my wingman at the diner then I'll set you guys up!" Dustin argued.

"First, I am way too old to be your wingman. It's creepy. And second, this girl is hot, I'm not ditching."

"Come on dude! You are my only ride and my mom said I needed a babysitter. Steve is working so please?"

~

"She's here, see ya," Dustin said as he ran to an empty booth with his date.

Eddie picked a seat where he could see the back of Dustin's head.

He smiled when Y/N took the seat across from him, blocking Dustin.

They dived into a conversation and the time flew by in seconds.

~

Dustin said goodbye to his date and walked over to Eddie, he noticed Eddie was alone.

"Stood up?" Dustin mocked as he pointed to the empty seat.

"Bathroom, now beat it," Eddie said, but Dustin sat down instead.

"I've got nowhere to go, you are my ride." Dustin shrugged, grabbing a fry from the plate in the middle of the table. "Plus, my girl would be so much better for you."

~

Max walked into the diner, and her mom drove her to pick up dinner. She waited near the counter as she waited. She gasped when Y/N walked out of the bathroom.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had a date?" Max asked, her arms crossed.

"I do! We changed it to her because he had to babysit." Y/N explained.

"Babysit? Can't get a real job?" Max mocked and rolled her eyes.

"Watch it. I'm a babysitter." Y/N declared as she glared at the younger girl.

"Is he still here? I want to meet him so I can prove my guy is better."

Y/N sighed but agreed, walking Max to the table.

"Dustin?"

"Y/N?"

Eddie looked between them confused, "you two know each other?"

"How the hell do you know her?" Dustin spazzed as he looked at Eddie with huge eyes.

"EDDIE IS THE GUY!" Max squealed, and Y/N was confused about her showing a positive emotion.

"What is going on?" Eddie and Y/N asked at the same time.

~

After Dustin and Max explained their sides, they left the couple alone. Dustin walked Max out to her car, killing time until Eddie was ready to leave.

"I so did that." Dustin bragged, he nodded in improvement as Eddie slid his arm around Y/N as they walked out.

"They didn't even know you were trying to set them up, plus she met him because of me!" Max argued

"No, she did not!" Dustin fought back.

"Yes huh!"

"No huh!"

~

"It's kinda cute they wanted us together so much," Y/N said, walking out of the diner.

"I'm surprised Dustin thought I was in your league." Eddie chuckled, his arm still over her shoulder.

"I'm surprised you'd even like a cheerleader," Y/N replied.

"When they look like you? Yeah, I like the cheerleader." Eddie teased, but his heart raced as she laughed and swatted at his chest.

He might have to give Dustin a praise for this.

tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger

[auteurdelabre]

So Much to Lose PART SEVEN dark!Joel x f!Reader

story summary: Newly settled into Jackson city and forced to go on patrols with the miserable Joel Miller sets off a chain of events and encounters that have you questioning everything, including your own heart.

rating: 18+

tags: Oral sex (m receiving), allusions to female masturbation, brief description of animal violence, angst, praise, dirty talk, nickname: Good Girl, mentions of postpartum, mentions of trauma, dom/sub dynamics.

a/n: Alright y'all I got some amazing comments from a hilarious person on A03 and it put me in such a good mood that I'm releasing this chapter ASAP. The comments really do make me write faster, as do reblogs and comments here... {hint hint}

I love y'all for following me and since I have almost 850 followers (when did that happen?) I'm planning something special for (if) I hit 1,000 followers here, somethin' real good.

Without further ado, here's the chapter and we find out a bit more about our MC's past and she and Joel finally talk about what's going on between them. . . sorta.

Chapter 6 here

___________________________

Chapter 7: Spoiled

You thought that the fear on patrols had abated. Not only were you on horseback, but you were paired with Joel, arguably one of the best shots in Jackson City.

So when he leads you to a path you aren’t familiar with, the first icy tendrils of fear slipping through you. When he orders you to stop your horse alongside his at the mouth of a forest you feel the overwhelming urge to vomit.

“Where are we?”

You speak so softly he doesn’t hear you, he stops just outside the dense forest, sliding off Midnight and tying him off to a nearby tree. He glances over his shoulder to see you still sitting atop Chestnut, your gun on your back and your eyes scanning the perimeter.

“What’re you waitin’ for?”

“What are we doing here?”

"We need to check the forest for traps," Joel explains to you. "The other patrol group sets ‘em up for large game. We check ‘em every couple of weeks." 

"Why can't we take the horses?"

"Too dangerous for ‘em inside," Joel explains. "We take ‘em in just enough to hide them but the roots and terrain are too much for ‘em. Too easy to twist their ankles." 

"Why can't the other patrols check?"

"They do," Joel says gruffly. "We take turns every week. This is our week. Now stop complainin' and let's go." 

You slide off of Chestnut at his order, but you make no move to go towards the forest. Too much is happening, too many noises and sounds and fears.

"J-Joel, I can stay with the horses." You don’t even hide the panic that’s crept into your voice.

"I said let's go," Joel huffs, gripping you by the upper arm and dragging you into the forest with him. He keeps his grip on you the entire way to the traps, almost knowing that the second he releases you, you’ll go rushing from the horrible dense of the forest.

Your feet drag but his grip is so strong that it doesn’t matter. Eventually you fall in line, marching alongside him. He doesn’t see that your eyes are closed, that he’s guiding you blindly through the forest. You simply lean into his grip, letting him lead as you follow.  

When you reach the traps a short while later he finally releases your upper arm. You find you immediately miss the safety of that grip and you are sure to stand close to him as he looks over the metallic traps.

“Why do you put them here?”

“S’where we find most of the game,” he explains distractedly as he surveys them. “Bait hasn’t been touched though, so nothin’s come by recently.”

He makes a circle around the perimeter and you can’t help but follow like a lost puppy. All of a sudden Joel stills. You can see the way his back goes rigid, his body coming to a full stop so abruptly you almost walk into him. 

You hear it, the gentle popping noise and you feel your body go numb with shock.

Clickers.

This is it. You're done for. You can’t even reach for your weapon, can’t even move a fraction. You’ve gone rigid, your eyes blown wide.

Joel raises his gun and you wait for the creature to come charging out of the woods.  You're confused when it goes off and a large bird falls to the ground away from you, thudding to the ground.

You’re still frozen in spot, watching as Joel walks over to it, nudging it with his foot. Satisfied he takes it by the beak, carrying it back to where you still stand looking terrified. His brows quirk.  

“S’wrong with you?”

"I thought it w-was one of them,” you whisper. “A clicker."

"Clickers sound different," Joel tells your blanched face. "More of a wet sound. But these birds sorta sound like em. S'why I kill em when I can." 

Joel looks to see your gun still strapped to your back, not even produced and you see irritation cross his face. 

"What would you do if you saw a clicker heading your way?" Joel asks you as the two of you walk through the forest back to the horses. "If you had no weapon and I wasn't here?"

Joel isn't one for casual conversation so you're immediately on guard. This is a test. But one you don't know how to pass. You glance around at your surroundings, noting the rocks and fallen branches from the trees. 

"Fire maybe?"

"You're gonna hunker down and build a fire while an infected is racin' towards you?" Joel scoffs. 

"Oh right," you mumble, feeling shame paint your cheeks. Your eyes scan around you again.  "Get a sharp stick? Stab it?"

"You get close enough to stab one you're already dead."

"A rock-"

Joel's deadened stare thrown over his shoulder at you stops you from guessing further and humiliating yourself. The two of you continue walking in silence before he finally breaks it. 

"If you see something coming towards you and you don't have a weapon, you gotta think smart," Joel explains. "You climb a tree, a good sturdy, tall one with thick branches. Infected can't climb trees."

"I've seen ‘em climb ladders," you argue. "And cars."

"Barely," Joel says patting the large tree trunk to his right. "And they'll only try to climb if they hear you up there. Once you're in the trees you stay still and quiet. Same goes for Raiders. You hide yourself in the tree and don't move. It's your only hope." 

"Okay."

"Repeat it."

"If I am unarmed and in danger I need to climb up a tree," you reply flatly. "I need to remain quiet and out of sight."

“Good.”

You shakily make it back to the horses and continue on with your usual patrols. When you get inside the old building and finish your log notes you pause to look at your dual signatures. How his wide printing almost looks like its shielding your tiny script.

He’s not as sullen as usual and you know it’s because of what’s going to happen. You share your lunch in an easy silence before you’re on your knees between he and the wall, your eyes covered by the red scarf, your hands bracing your thighs. His cock fills your mouth deliciously and you feel warmth blooming behind your ribs.

“Swirl your tongue,” he orders breathlessly and you acquiesce. You love that he tells you exactly what he wants. You love how good it feels to do this right, to have the rest of the world fade away, where all you can hear and smell and taste is Joel. To feel his heavy hand on the crown of your head, holding you gently in place.

He barely talks, just let's you bob your mouth along until you feel that familiar stutter of his hips that tells you he's close. He comes quickly today, his voice gruff.

"Swallow it down."

When you pull off him minutes later he doesn't unwind the scarf right away. You hear him breathing above you as he tucks himself away. Moments pass and you sit patiently, head cocked in curiosity. You feel as if he's staring at you, and you can't understand why. 

Finally he comes to unwind the scarf from around your eyes. You expect him to wordlessly walk from you, but instead he’s panting softly, his cheeks stained with red. He looks at your mouth, his tongue trailing over his lower lip.

"Show me your tongue," he demands in a low voice.

Even though this request seems unlike him you tilt your head back, opening your mouth widely and sticking out your tongue to show your clean tongue. 

You feel strangely vulnerable pierced by the quiet gaze of Joel Miller. You've done much filthier things than stick out your tongue but you're never been looking at him while you do it, able to see the haunted eyes that stare back at you.

"Good girl," he rasps.

You watch him zipping and buttoning his jeans before he casts one last look at you. He blinks slowly and then strides from the room, his face back in its customary scowl.

You listen for the front door downstairs to open and shut. You can’t even make it to the bathroom before your hands are sliding under your jeans and you’re whimpering as you bring yourself off to the rumbling chorus of good girl that echoes in your mind.

///

Later that week you artfully arrange the paper flowers in an amber wine bottle you got from the Tipsy Bison. You rest it on your kitchen table smiling at the colorful arrangement. After making Maria's second bouquet you found yourself eager to make one of your own to brighten the space. You like looking at it, enjoy seeing the bright colors in your unadorned home.  

You take the secondary bouquet of colorful flowers and wrap them in a strip of old cloth. The weather is drizzling and you don't want them to be ruined. You hide them in a small linen bag you use for groceries and then pull on your coat. 

The walk towards the dining hall is pleasant despite the drizzle and you're surprised at how many of the children laugh and run through the falling droplets. When you were a child there were always video games and television shows to occupy your space indoors on gloomy days. These children have none of those luxuries but you can’t help but observe that they look more joyful than you ever did.

No wasting life. 

Breakfast with Jennifer is a quick affair. She’s with that group of friends you met a while ago. The only one who stands out to you is tall Luke with the easy smile and soft countenance. He makes you feel at ease when you’re around him.

“Have you been practicing your shooting?” Jessica asks, looking effortlessly beautiful in her oversized sweater. Luke glances up from his breakfast, intrigued at the conversation. You pretend not to notice.

“Uh, not really. I don’t have a working gun of my own.”

Jessica is wide-eyed. “How could you not tell me? I have one that I don’t even use anymore! Come by tomorrow and I’ll show you how to use it.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Jennifer insists with a smile that makes you feel warm from the inside out.

You’re incredibly grateful for the kindness Jennifer has shown you, and despite how popular and well liked she is, she’s taken you under her wing. She has nothing to gain from it – except perhaps intel on Joel which you never seem to have. But you’ve noticed she asks about him less, she’s more interested in you.

It’s like she might be your friend. The first real friend you’ve had in a long time.

The walk over to Maria’s place is a quick one. The raindrops have stopped thankfully, but you worry that the swollen grey clouds above you might open up at any second.

The door opens on your first rap as if Tommy was waiting for you to arrive. He gives you a warm greeting, opening the door further and the aroma of fresh coffee floats out to greet you.

"Hi. Is Maria around?"

"Yeah she is, we actually have some folks over now-"

"That's fantastic," you say to him quickly before producing the flowers from inside the makeshift wrapping. "I tried some new designs out. Thought Maria would like 'em. Have a good morning."

He takes the bundle from you before you prepare to take off. You're so happy to hear that Maria is doing better; it makes your heart feel full.

"Wait, I wasn't sayin' that so you'd go," Tommy chuckles, long fingers touching your shoulder to stop you from leaving. "Come inside. We're havin' coffee. Maria’d love to see you." 

You pause before you think of what awaits you at home: nothing really. An empty house, no family, no books you haven't already read over and over. What could it hurt especially when it seems like his desire to have you come in might be sincere?

"Okay." 

You’re about to toe off your shoes when you notice the scuffed boots and mud splattered sneakers sat next to the door and you feel your stomach flip. You recognize those boots.

Tommy doesn’t notice your sudden reluctance, he simply ushers you into the living room where everyone sits chatting quietly before the fire. Maria and Ellie are deep in conversation next to each other on the couch. Joel sits in one of the armchairs, his ankles folded. He looks so at ease, his eyes on Ellie and a paternal look of love in his eyes.

The second you enter the room however and his dark eyes move to take you in, you see the gentle curl of his mouth disappear.

Good girl.

You feel a flutter of nerves go through you and you force your attention to the back of Maria’s head.

“Look who dropped by with more flowers,” Tommy announces before looking at you. “You want a coffee or somethin’?”

“No, I’m fine thanks.”

Maria looks up from where she sits next to Ellie on the couch and smiles at you. Joel gives you a lazy once over before turning his attention to the gently roaring fire. You don’t miss the tic in his jaw and for a moment you actually feel guilty that you’ve broken up this peaceful morning for him.  

“I’m so glad you came back,” Maria enthuses, her dark eyes shining with delight. “Please come take a seat.”

You settle into the empty chair by the fireplace opposite Joel as Tommy hands the flowers to Maria. You haven't seen Ellie much since she got irritated with you about the whole Jennifer thing. You give her a tentative smile from across the room, grateful when she returns it. 

"That's so cool," Ellie marvels, touching the paper petals gently.

"I wish I knew how to make these," Maria sighs happily as she gazes at them. "Seeing the other ones every day makes the place feel so cheerful. I'm gonna put these ones in the baby's room."

"I could teach you how to make them if you wanted," you offer gently. "It's not too complicated."

You hope you don’t sound pathetic and needy. There’s something about Maria’s vulnerability that calls to you. It makes you want to protect her in some way. You realize belatedly that it’s not just your Aunt she reminds you of, but your sister.

"I don't think I'd have the patience," Maria says with a gentle wave of her hand. "I just like looking at them."

"I wanna learn," Ellie pipes up, making you suppress a pleased grin. "I like flowers."

"Since when?" Joel murmurs with a smirk. You sneak a glance at him before looking back to Ellie who frowns at her father-figure.

"I've always liked flowers."

"Thought you were dead set on learnin' to bake," Tommy muses over his coffee mug. “I

"Maybe I wanna learn both," Ellie snarks back at him. "Is that a fuckin' crime?"

"Language," Joel mutters in her direction. 

"I'm happy to teach you both," you say with a little laugh to yourself. "Thought I can't say I'm an expert on either."

"Really?"

"Yeah, of course," you say before your eyes sail over to the unmoving authority figure by the fireplace. "If that's okay with you?"

"Only if she's done with her chores," Joel finally supplies with a sigh, gripping his coffee mug a little tighter. "And if you don't break the damn oven."

Of course his assumption would be that you'd break something. You try to hold in the grimace that threatens to spill over your features. 

Ellie makes a little hiss of victory before giggling at you. You feel the frost from your Jennifer misstep is behind you now. The sound of Douglas’ cries break into the room and both Maria and Tommy quickly move into the bedroom to console him. You look back at Ellie.

"How's school?"

"Boring," she answers honestly. "Can't wait until I'm done with it."

"I miss it," you tell her honestly as you shift in your chair. "I really loved being in class, sharing ideas, learning."

"You're weird."

"Ellie," Joel warns. 

"S'fine," you say with a soft chuckle. "I am weird."

Before Joel can reply Maria and Tommy have re-entered the room with Tommy holding a drowsy Douglas in his arms with Maria trailing after the two of them. 

"He heard your voice and wanted to say thank you for the flowers," she says kindly. 

You smile as Douglas is placed gently into your arms by Tommy while the glossy eyed Maria looks on. You smile down at the sweet angelic face, your voice a soft murmur. 

"Well, you're very welcome, Douglas." 

The baby blinks, grunting a moment and wiggling. He's warm in your arms, but not heavy. You slowly rock him in your embrace inhaling the sweet scent of milk and that intoxicating baby smell.  

"Hello," you coo softly at him as he stretches. Maria joins Tommy on the couch next to Ellie, curling her legs under her. 

The rest of the group has begun talking about the movie playing this weekend. Trying to decide between a western and some Disney thing someone found on patrols. You're distracted by Douglas' long eyelashes over caramel skin. The pout of his pink mouth and the way he gurgles a toothless smile up in your direction. 

"Adorable," you murmur, grazing his cheek with the pad of your thumb. "Aren't you just the sweetest thing, little Miller?"

You grin widely down at him, wanting to press a kiss to his downy forehead but holding back. He's not your family after all. Instead you take his tiny hand in yours, marveling at the perfection of his small fingers dwarfed by your own. 

"He's so perfect," you mutter more to yourself than anyone else. 

"Gets his good looks from his mama," Tommy says throwing his arm over Maria's shoulders. He presses a kiss to her cheek as she grins. 

"Ain't that the truth," Joel murmurs, drawing a good natured chuckle from Tommy. 

"You want kids?" Ellie asks you bluntly, forcing the attention of the room your way. You take a moment to consider the question. 

"I dunno," you finally answer honestly. "Never really thought about it."

"I sure don't," she replies easily. "They're noisy, they stink, and they’re just too much work."

"Same could be said for teenagers," Joel murmurs behind his coffee cup, drawing chuckles from everyone but Ellie who gives him a playful shove. 

You suppress a smirk before your finger traces down the soft cheek of Douglas''. He blinks up at you, gurgling again.

"Motherhood looks natural on you," Maria says in a voice laced with sorrow. You know what she's thinking. Tommy is glancing at her with concern in his features. 

"Not as natural as on you, Maria," you assure her kindly. "I promise."

Maria nods but it's clear she doesn't believe you. You don't know that you believe you either. But she needs to hear it, needs to know that she possesses it even if it doesn't feel like it right now. 

Tommy shoots you a grateful smile that you return. You can only imagine how hard it is to love someone so much and not be able to fix them. To have so few options to help now in this new world. 

"So you’re interested in the kitchen still, Ellie?" Tommy teases her. "Gonna whip us up somethin’ good? Be a real Martha Stewart?"

Ellie wrinkles her nose. "A who?"

Ellie starts talking about the kitchen but you're distracted by the bundle in your arms. Douglas has fallen asleep again and his tiny snores makes your mouth curl into a bemused smirk. 

You feel eyes on you and when you glance up you're surprised to see Joel's steady gaze on you holding the baby. When he catches you looking his way, his eyes snap over to his brother who is explaining all about Martha Stewart.

"We've got stuff to do," Joel says pushing himself up from the chair. "C'mon Ellie."

"I wanna stay."

"You've got chores," Joel tells her firmly. "And you've put ‘em off all week. Let's go."

His tone is stern but his face is pure patience as Ellie sighs dramatically. She comes to a stand sighing again and about to leave when she seems to remember something and steps towards you, her face suddenly animated.

"How about Sunday for baking? You can come to ours."

Go to Joel’s house? The thought has you in a panic, your eyes darting from her to Joel. "Uh, if it's okay with-."

"Joel is that okay?" Ellie claps her hands in front of her dramatically and she turns to face him. "Pleeeeeease?"

Joel moves his tongue to the corner of his cheek, looking thoughtfully at Ellie’s desperate face before sighing wearily.

"Just tell me what I need to get," Joel says to the space beside your head. "Eggs ‘n stuff like that."

"Sure. I'll give you a list on Thursday." 

Joel nods, still not making eye contact with you but that's okay. You don't really want him to. Just the mention of Thursday has you slick between your legs. You may not like Joel Miller but the thought of what the two of you get up to on patrols makes it easy to get through uncomfortable interactions with him.

The door creaks shut behind them as they leave and you take a few moments to rock the baby in your arms until Maria gives a soft yawn and you worry you’ve overstayed your welcome.

"I should probably go too.”

"Don't go," Maria insists almost desperately, her eyes wide. "He looks so happy with you holding him." 

You see the tears gathering in her eyes and you adjust the baby in your arms before sliding off your chair. Tommy seems to sense that you need privacy because he gathers the empty mugs and walks into the kitchen to wash them.

You stand, coming to sit next to Maria on the warm couch. She looks at Douglas warily, as if he's a stranger's child. 

"Hold him, Maria." 

"I can't."

"You can," you insist softly. "He's your son."

"I know he is," Maria says, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes. "I look at him and I'm so confused. I carried him; I fed him with my own body. Why don't I feel that connection like other mom's do?"

"You're not the only one," you tell her, hand on her shoulder. "My aunt went through the same thing. Gave birth to my cousin and felt nothing. She wasn't herself for months. You’re not alone, Maria. You’re not a bad mom; you’re not a bad person. This isn’t something you’re doing on purpose. It’s your brain.”

Maria shakes her head, as if the words don’t mean anything. You know she hears them, but she can’t accept them.

“You have a husband and friends to support you. I promise you that you'll get to the other side. I promise." 

You know that it's a heavy gamble. But she needs to know that there's hope. She needs to know that this illness has plagued women across centuries. She looks at Douglas’ sleeping frame and after a moment of hesitation she allows you to place him in her arms. You watch as her eyes get soft, her breathing slowly decreasing.

"Some days I really feel like he's mine," Maria murmurs as she drags a gentle finger down the slope of his tiny nose. "Some days my heart feels like its overflowing. And sometimes that's worse than not caring."

You're silent, just listening to her speak. 

"Love makes you weak and afraid. I've never been afraid of anything," Maria tells you, rocking Douglas gently in her arms. "But now that's all I am. Like one exposed nerve.”

Fat tears are sliding down her cheeks. You can’t help but run a soothing hand down her spine, rubbing up and down gently. She accepts your touch, even melts back into it.

"We shouldn't have done it," Maria hiccups a sob. "We were fucking idiots to have a baby in this world."

“You aren’t an idiot,” you insist. “You and Tommy loved each other so much you wanted to create life together. How is that stupid? That’s the most beautiful thing in the world.”

Maria sniffles, tears dropping onto the blanket holding Douglas.

“All I can think about is what I'd do if Raiders broke in. Or what if Douglas got bit? Or what would happen if Tommy and I got killed on patrols?  I'm terrified to leave him alone. Terrified that something is gonna happen to him if me or Tommy aren't around."

You can hear the clattering of mugs being washed in the kitchen. You wonder if Tommy is listening and you hope that he is, because you worry he might be having the same fears.

“Douglas is going to grow up, just like all the other kids in Jackson City. Happy and safe and loved. He’s going to grow up to be a good person just like his parents. He’s going to be smart and kind and who knows, maybe he’ll be part of finding a cure.”

Maria blinks over at you as if just realizing this possibility.

"Maria I never had kids," you tell her, hand rubbing over her own. "But I had a younger sister and she felt like my kid sometimes. Especially when my parents got separated when we were fleeing the city.

Maria stares at you, rubbing the tears from her eyes.

"When the pandemic started my mom was visiting her Aunt in Wyoming," you explain. "My sister and my dad and I, we escaped to the nearest QZ." 

“I never saw my Mom again,” you explain and you’re shocked at how deadened your voice sounds. It’s no longer a hurtful memory, more just a patchwork on the quilt of your trauma. Its life, you’ve accepted it. “The first day I got here I was sure I’d find her here. Sure that she survived somehow.”

“But she wasn’t here,” Maria finishes for you. “I would have recognized the last name.”

You shake your head slowly. “She wasn’t here.”

You think Maria might want to ask more about your history but you hear Tommy's voice filter in from the kitchen. 

"Joel, what're you still doin' here?"

Your head snaps to look over your shoulder. Joel is here? Had he heard anything? The thought curdles your insides. It was hard enough sharing this much with Maria. Knowing that Joel might have overheard is much worse. 

"Saw Jason out by the gates and he said that the lumber’s coming in Saturday,” Joel mutters. You can't see him in the next room but you hear the scrape of his boots on the wood flooring. "Thought you’d wanna know so you could get a group together.”

The two men mumble back and forth to each other and you hear the telltale sound of the door opening and closing behind Joel. You feel your heart hammering in your chest, suddenly anxious at the thought that Joel knows about your life. 

Tommy enters back into the room, his eyes on Maria. He sees her holding Douglas and you can see the sun break into his previously cloudy eyes.

"I should get going." You stand, looking down at Maria’s tear-stained face. "Sorry for showing up unannounced."

"You're welcome anytime," Tommy assures you warmly before coming to sit next to his wife. He slings his arm around her shoulders, looking down at his son in her arms.  

"Yeah," Maria agrees with a watery smile. "Please stop by again soon. I mean it."

“Okay, I will.”

///

Joel seems strange on patrols today. 

It started with handing him the list of supplies you’d need for baking. Instead of a smart remark he just nodded, taking it from you and shoving it into the back of his jeans pocket. The ride to Teton Village had been in its usual silence, you noticed that the snow from last week had turned into a slushy mess which meant the horses moved a little slower.

By the time you reached the old building with its log book you were more than a little eager. You’d woken up that morning particularly slick between the legs, a Pavlovian response to patrol days.

Joel is still near silent, not even looking at you when he brings out his bag for lunch. He pushes your sandwich and thermos to you, watching you carefully as you eat. Normally Joel stares anywhere but your face during patrols, unless he’s getting angry with you. Today however he seems a bit tense, his gaze a bit heavier than usual. 

It makes you uncomfortable. It makes you wonder what he’s thinking.

“I feel like Chestnut was walking a little weird the last mile or so,” you observe to break the silence. “Do you think you could take a look at his horseshoe before we go?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks.”

The quiet stretches on,

“So what was the lumber for?”

“Huh?”

“You mentioned lumber back at Tommy’s,” you say, feeling like the peanut butter is sticking to the roof of your mouth.  “I was wondering what it was for.”

“S’for repairs on the window upstairs,” he tells you gruffly, taking a large bite of his sandwich.

“Oh right.”

You decide not to press things; he doesn’t seem to be in the chatting mood.  Lunch passes slowly, despite your anticipation for what comes next. Your heart is actually thrumming when Joel wipes his hands on his jeans and tilts his head for you to follow him.

You go into the room with the fireplace and couch and watch him shift into a comfortable seated position. The old frame creaks under his bulk and he stares at you standing, waiting and watching him.  He undoes his belt buckle, the clinking noise causing your thighs to press together tightly.

You walk towards him, eyes on his large hands.

"On your knees."

You acquiesce without thought, your jeans biting into the cold floorboards below. Joel watches you from under hooded eyes. The sight of him seated there disheveled, belt unbuckled and legs spread does something to you.

When he doesn't make a move for your scarf or anything else you feel a prickle of insecurity go through you. You blink up at him, swallowing only to have him frown down at you. 

"Do you actually like this?"

You don't like the way he says it, like there's something wrong with you if you do. You stand shakily, your eyes on the floor as you give him your murmured response.

"I do, yeah." 

Joel is a statue with eyes that burn like coal. You feel them even if you don't see them until you peer at him still seated insouciantly there on the couch. 

"You like me orderin' you around?" His voice is grated around the edges, his eyes holding nothing but disbelief. "Tellin' you what to do?"

"I like you being in charge," you correct.

"Why the fuck would you want somethin' like that?” Joel insists, cheeks pinking. “Someone orderin' you around?" 

"I think you need it the same way I do. Only you need to be giving the orders. Am I right?" 

Joel swallows and you see his large eyes widen a fraction as he takes in your words. You feel strangely emboldened by his lack of response, by the fact that you’ve taken him by surprise. And perhaps since you’ve been doing this for over a month you feel that you can voice this.  

"Am I right?"

He still doesn't reply, instead he crosses his thick arms over his chest and just stares you down. It doesn't intimidate you like it once did, but it does prompt you to answer him. 

"Because when you make the rules and do the ordering my mind goes quiet," you explain softly. "I'm not afraid, I'm not angry, I'm just... Free. I'm not in control but I'm choosing not to be." 

And you know just by the way his shoulders relax that Joel understands. He understands because it's what happens when he has you under his palm, mouth sliding on his cock, when he wraps the scarf around your eyes and tells you not to touch.

The choosing. The control. 

You’d known from the very first time he'd given you the order. You'd seen in there in the dark of his eyes that he liked the dynamic.

But you sense the hesitancy in him, a guilt that he shouldn't be enjoying it so much. His eyes take on a large, wounded appearance and it’s so clear that he’s wondering if he’s done something wrong.

"You've never given me anything I didn't want, Joel.” 

That seems to get through to him, because he blinks away that little lost boy gaze. 

You lower yourself to a kneeling position at his feet again. But you make no move to touch him. You simply bow your head, your hands clasped demurely on your thighs. You hear him shift unconsciously in his seat. 

"What're you doin'?"

"Tell me what to do, Joel."

You stare at his boots, never venturing to his face but you can feel him watching you, his large hand twitching at his side on the cushion. He looks down at you with uncertainty as you eventually tilt your face up to him. 

"Tell me what to do," you urge him again in a voice barely above a whisper. "Please."

You feel a rush of relief go through you when he nods and you can see the hard length of him through his jeans. You gingerly pull the scarf from around your neck, letting it hang in your grip loosely. You wait for him to retrieve it, eyes on the floor.

"No scarf," he rasps. "I know you'll listen. Close your eyes."

You do, feeling that tingle go through your body at his order. His large hand comes to the crown of your head, fingers snaking through the strands and tugging your face up. You keep your eyes firmly shut, not even considering peering through your lashes to see his face. You have your orders.

"Take me out and suck."

And you do, just as you have every other patrol for the last month. Only now it feels so much better because there’s no confusion. He gives you take, you give he takes. Your submission driving him forward, his domination calming your overworked nervous system. 

"You do like takin' orders," he observes with a groan. "Like bein' told that you're a good girl."

Your breathing elevates when you hear that term and you just know the corner of his mouth twitches.

"Yeah. S'what I thought." 

His hand is still wrapped in your hair, tugging you gently. Your lips feel rubbery and wet as you take him deeper. Your hands remain clasped on your lap. When you feel Joel twitch on your tongue you give a soft sigh through your nose, a feeling of blissful satisfaction. 

"Look at me," Joel murmurs.

You take a moment to consider if you heard him right, but then he repeats himself and you slowly gaze up the length of him. He's tilted over you with heavy eyes, mouth parted. A greying curl is stuck to his sweaty forehead. 

"Christ," he grits through his teeth. "Look ‘atcha there, mouth stuffed with my cock."

Desire blooms in you, snaking behind your ribs, down your veins, into your very bloodstream.  

"What happened to that soft thing makin' cookies?"

You happened, Joel. 

When Joel's quiet rasp reaches you again you physically shiver.

"You like bein' on your knees for me?" Joel grunts as his hips jerk forward.

You nod, your cheeks hollowing as you take him deeper into your throat. He lets out a strangled noise, tossing his head back.

"Fuck!" Joel glances down to see you still staring up at him, lips swollen around his shaft. "Look away now."

It doesn't sound like a cruel order, more a plea. You close your eyes, giving a small noise of protest when Joel brings himself out of your mouth. 

"Wanna come on your tits," he instructs with a rasping growl and you hear him stroking himself furiously. "Take em out for me."

Despite this being uncharted territory for you both you don't hesitate. Your hands fumble with your sweater and you pull it over your head, tossing it to the floor. Joel watches as you unclasp your bra, letting it join the sweater. Your nipples tighten in the cool air of the room. 

You're still not looking up at his face as instructed; so you don't know what he thinks. All you know is that the stroking is increasing. 

"Head back, eyes closed," he pants, his voice tight. 

You tilt your head back, eyes firmly closed. You feel vulnerable in this position, an animal who has bared their neck to a predator. Despite this you cup your breasts, offering them to him. 

"Good girl," Joel says with a grunt. "Fuckin' good… So good for me."

And the praise hits you so strongly that you whimper aloud. This is what sends Joel over the edge and he comes with a strangled groan, painting your tits with stripes of his warm spend. 

Your dual panting fills the room and you wish you could see yourself covered in Joel Miller's come. You wonder what he sees when he looks down at you covered in his essence. Proud? Embarrassed? Guilty?

"Open your eyes."

You blink them open immediately, your gaze flying to your chest covered in him before glancing up at him. Joel is breathing heavily through his nose, looking at you as if he’s still not convinced you’re real.

He reaches towards you and you don’t flinch when you watch his thumb come to gently trace over your right nipple, the spend there clinging to his digit. You feel a shiver run through with the contact of his hand on you. 

You watch mesmerized as his palm cups your cheek, his fingers curling gently against your jaw. His thumb hovers scant inches from your swollen lips. Your eyes can't help but dart to his face again and the sight of his eyes blown black makes you quiver. 

"Open," he says barely above a whisper. 

Your mouth parts, eyes still on his face. He slowly lowers his thumb into your mouth. It rests there on your tongue, heavy and damp. 

"Suck." 

Your lips wrap around his thumb, licking the digit clean before sucking it suddenly, nestling him into the concave of your upper palate like he belongs there. He watches this all with quiet fascination, eyes strangely sorrowful through it all, like it pains him to do it. You suck, your smooth tongue cradling his wide thumb. 

His hand is still cupping your cheek, even when his thumb is removed and drags down your lower lip, his gaze watching its descent. His brows saddle when you sigh gently, eyes locked with his. 

And then he yanks his hand from you so quickly that you flinch. You’re completely thrown by the behavior, covering your chest instinctively. He looks at you kneeling between his legs and he shakes his head as if to clear it.

You shuffle backwards as he stands abruptly. You sit there at his feet, covered in his cooling spend, shooting him a confused look. 

"We ain't doin this anymore," he tells you brusquely as he quickly zips up his jeans before buttoning it with trembling fingers.

"Why not?"

"Cuz I said so," he mutters before he shoots an ugly sneer your way. "You said you like takin' orders so this must be your lucky day." 

You can only shake your head in disappointment as he leaves the room. You don't know what happened but Joel is back to his old, asshole self. The door below slams behind him and you go to the bathroom to clean yourself up. Today there is no sliding your hands underneath your jeans and getting yourself off.

All traditions have been spoiled by Joel's selfishness. 

----------------------------------------

taglist: @casssiopeia

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@confusedpuffin

[yandere-romanticaa]

trigger warning: abuse, animal death, malnutrition, my horrible writing. not proofread, we die like men!

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐍 - part 1. (you are here!)

masterlist.

The bitter scent of nicotine clings to him wherever he goes, his cold, brown eyes devoid of life as he wakes up and gets ready for another day. Every day is the same - wake up, get ready for work, work, head back home, rinse and repeat. He was living. But, he was not alive.

As long as he could remember, this was the life which Viktor Martinović (read as Martinovich) was leading.

Growing up his family was always distant. Cold. Even scattered at times. He had some siblings, some alive, others long gone from the Earth. To him they were all like air, non-existent and invisible but yet oh so relevant. His father hailed from Croatia while his mother was an American. Viktor could recall some more peaceful times as he would sit on the front porch of his house, his grandmother serving him tea while his grandfather told him many stories. Be it folklore, urban legends, random stories he made up, Viktor loved them all. Unfortunately, he could not see his grandparents very often as they lived in the US and the cost of travel was a rare luxury to him.

The time he spent with his grandparents was precious. He was positive that it was the only time he felt true joy and tranquility. With them he could be a little boy and do what all the little boys did - run around the streets with his feet bare, fall hard onto the ground and skin his knees, find dead animals on the ground and poke at their remains.

That last thing became a favorite past time of his.

Be it birds, dogs, cats, hedgehogs, no tiny critter was safe from his clutches. At first he did nothing but poke the dead critter with some random stick. Its lifeless eyes would stare back at Viktor, taunting him to take more action. However, one day his father caught him poking a mangled little bird which Viktor did not understand was wrong. The anatomy of the animal had caught his interest and he had no other children to play with. What was so wrong with having a hobby? His horrified father dragged Viktor by the ear back home that day, his grip so tight that crescent shaped marks were left behind on the soft skin due to his fingernails.

His father was an awfully conservative man. Everything and everyone had their place in the home and that included Viktor, who just happened to be at the bottom of the food chain because he was the youngest. Viktor does not remember his fathers face very well.

He never liked him.

All meals would start with prayer and would end with his mother and sisters putting away the plates, sometimes with Viktor's aid. He wanted to be good. He wanted to be useful. His father always taught him that he was a man and that men needed to be strong. This is not something you should concern yourself with, his father told him one chilly autumn morning.

This is a woman's duty, said his stone-faced father.

He was around 8 years old when his beatings started.

Despite his young age, Viktor was a very gifted child. He understood that something was off about his family. The way in which his siblings would flinch away once father entered the room, the way mother was always in a hurry to serve him coffee and a hot meal the moment he got back home despite being on her feet all day set him on edge.

He was very sensitive when it came to his mother.

She was his first and only real friend. She was his rock, his hero. Viktor was often sick which caused him to be physically frail and weak. His complexion was always pale as a ghost, his lips always thin and bloody from him gnawing on them and his tiny hands were always covered in cuts and bruises. The eldest brother in particular always just loved to make fun of Viktor when it came to his lack of strength. You can't even break into a sprint!, the cruel boy would taunt him as he held Viktor's book high up in the air, tearing pieces of the pages in the process.

Viktor hated his brother. He loathed him. Religion was not something he was 100% sure he believed in but during evening prayers, Viktor would always put his concentration on the fact that he wished his brother was dead. A grizzly thought indeed.

He wished for him to die the cruelest, most painful death imaginable.

The older he got, his dream only seemed to grow further and further away.

His two sisters never paid any attention to Viktor unless it was absolutely necessary, such as clothing or bathing him. Viktor was not capable of doing many things on his own because he was like a little doll. Frail and easy to break. He lived in a big house in coastal Croatia, an old city known as Dubrovnik, where the summer was long and the sun shined so bright that Viktor never wanted to go outside because his pale skin would turn a disgusting red even with the tiniest of exposure. He would spend his days locked away in his room, reading, studying or maybe playing a game which he had stolen from his brother.

He always took a little pride in the fact that his brother never caught him being so sly.

His sisters would usually be in school in the afternoon or somewhere out and about while his mother took care of the chores. Despite his fathers words, Viktor wanted to help her in any way he could. His heart would melt at the sight of his mother as she would lean down to give him a kiss on his forehead, her tired eyes shining with love. She would never give him tasks which could tire him too much which the young boy silently was thankful for. His favorite chore was chopping up vegetables and meat and in no time, he became quite skilled with using the blade. If it was possible Viktor even started to carve intricate shapes from fruits and vegetables, usually roses because his mother was very keen on them.

She never had the heart to eat any of them.

The outside world was filled with squeals of laughing children, frustrated fishermen and the bustling tides but Viktor did not need that world.

He had his own little bubble which he was more than content with. It was also convenient for him that he was homeschooled, which allowed him to spend even more time with his beloved mother. She was a doctor and a really good one too. Other than teaching him the basics such as reading, writing and mathematics, she would often throw in some more obscure things such as philosophy and anatomy. She taught him about the human body, where each organ was and their purposes.

Viktor was always enamored with this vast sea of knowledge.

The human body is like a machine, his mother would say. Treat it well and it will operate well.

Time passed. Viktor had started to grow and was 11 years old now. He was still sick, still useless according to his father. The man was a renowned fisherman and would always bring home the biggest and best kills. He would take his eldest boy with him and teach him everything he knew, hoping that one day his son would become a master at this craft as well.

Viktor hardly ever went on these trips. The sea was a cruel mistress and weak men could not be near it. His father had barely managed to teach him the basics but the scorching sun and the bustling activity was too much for him. Viktor's skinny little fingers would always be injured from carrying the heavy cargo, which his brother always made sure to make even more difficult for him by giving him even more to carry.

He was a lost cause when it came to fishing, which was his family's main source of income.

No matter, Viktor would think.

He had his own skill sets which those baboons could never understand.

Viktor would hone his skills with the blade in secret, his usual victim for practice being the very fish which were caught earlier that day. Sometimes he would stay up all night and sneak up back into his room at the crack of dawn, his hands smelling horribly which caused his sisters to gag a little if they caught a whiff of the air. Viktor studied the insides of the fishes, taking dutiful notes and hiding them all in the wooden floorboards where nobody could find them. Scattered carcasses of other animals become precious to him as he always had to be swift lest he wished to be caught by someone. Hiding them was always a pain and concealing the smell was the hardest task he could just barely pull off.

Not all secrets can be kept hidden though. Viktor found out that the hard way when his brother caught him dissecting a dead poodle. Viktor fell to his knees and begged his brother to not spill the beans, fat tears caking his face as he hiccuped horribly, his whole body shaking like a leaf. His brother merely looked down at him with a sneer as he shouted for their father to come to the garage. As Viktor heard the approaching footsteps his heart was beating so hard that he was positive that he was going to die of a heart attack right then and there.

His brother was the devil. The exact replica of his father. He was in every way, his son.

Viktor could not walk or talk properly for three months after that incident. He became something akin to a dying houseplant, unmovable and withering away in the darkness. He stopped eating completely and became skinnier than ever. His father locked him in his room but took his books away just to add more salt to the wound. Countless days passed and Viktor was rotting in bed, slowly dying from the lack of sustenance and the massive sorrow which took over his very being. Spring had been long gone and summer was over as well. He didn't even realize that it was October.

It was his birthday.

On October 31st, Viktor was woken up with a soft knock on his wooden door. It was his mother, who was holding a tray filled with food. There was even a little chocolate flavored cupcake with a single candle sticking on top, the whick not quite lit yet. His mother wished him a happy birthday and shared the meal with him. Viktor ate the food quietly, his appetite not quite out there but was still grateful for the miniature feast. His mother took out a small lighter and lit the candle.

Make a wish dear, she said softly.

Viktor gripped his sheets with all of his remaining strength, his knuckles so tight that he almost injured himself. He could feel the delicate touch of his mother who sat next to him, her presence like the calm evening breeze. With a sigh, Viktor closed his eyes but before he could blow out the candle a thought popped into his mind -

Just what was he going to wish for?

He did not see himself making it far in life despite his top notch grades. His family, father in particular, would always drag him down back to the ground. All of the money they had would most likely go to his siblings with just a tiny inheritance left to his name and when his parents both eventually passed the entire estate would go to his brother.

A lump formed in his throat as Viktor came to the realization that he had nothing to live for. He had no one on this Earth other than his mother.

He was no better than a ghost.

However, ghosts could not rest until they fulfilled some sort of quota in their lives, that one last thing for them to do so that they can finally take their final breath and bid their old life goodbye.

That goodbye came in the form of a cough.

It was his father.

His dark eyes stared down at Viktor, a strange glint of determination shining brightly inside them. With his arms crossed and mind set, he spoke:

"The weather may not be ideal but it is advantageous for your.... condition. You will not rot away in the sun, nor in this room like some coward."

His father took a few strides closer towards him, his footsteps so heavy that he could feel the floor creak beneath the heavy pressure. Viktor felt his whole body tense up as he was forced to look his father in the eye, his teeth clenching so tightly that it felt as though his jaw was going to break from the pressure. The only thing that gave him an iota of comfort was the fluffy blanket across his body, its softness a weak shield in stark contrast to the rough man before him. Viktor felt his fathers hand land on his shoulder, his touch disturbingly friendlier than usual.

"You will head out with your brother soon, to the sea. It is time you start pulling your own weight properly. I won't ever allow any son of mine to be weak."

Viktor's eyes widened - Christ, how could this be happening? Why was this happening? Cold terror came over him as he felt his lunch threatening to be spilt all over his parents.

It was soon prevented by a thought. A very devious thought.

On this little excursion it was just going to be him and his brother. All alone, at sea. The only thing keeping watch over them would be the grey stormy clouds high above them.

And just like that, Viktor had hatched a plan.

There was no going back from this moment.

🔪 TAGS: @shamelessdarkprince, @latolover, @yandere-wishes, @moyazami, @sunhareskies, @connorsui

Ahaha, here it is, the long awaited backstory for my OC, who finally has a full name! I decided to split it into several parts because it was getting kind of long and I really just wanted to post something about this guy. The demand for him is honestly kind of silly... Dare I say overwhelming even.

If you have any criticisms, ideas, complaints, literally anything - I'm all ears! My askbox is always open for a chit chat!

[erinartemis]

OMGOMGOMGKFMSGSKB IM FREAKING OUT IT'S HERE!!! MURDER DRONES EPISODE 7 TEASER!! EEEEEE!!! I went frame by frame and picked out some cool scenes I wanted to scream about, so get ready for a bunch of crazed ramblings and some theories !! (Long post ahead, folks)

Okay first of all- just- the lighting in these shots ✨ simply gorgeous... Also that "poster" thing in the background of the first image is very interesting.. obviously it says HELP (though that looks scrawled-on afterward with probably blood), and it looks like there could be possibly eyes? EDIT: it's not eyes it's two drones standing !!!

Also can we appreciate how creepy cool that hole in the ground is :00

THEIR ROOMS! THE SILLIES' ROOMS!!! WHAT SECRETS DO THEY HOLD?? I hope we find out

EDIT: THEY'RE LOCKERS NOT ROOMS OOPSIES

Good to see we've still got a bit of that classic md humor: "not to be overdramatic but core collapse" xd

N oh no N IS HE OKAY?? what am I talking about ofc he's not (I'm going to cry at this episode)

OKAY NEXT-

This thing. What is this thing. Probably part of the Solver, as it's all organic and eldritch-y, and it has veins. It looks lit from behind, almost like we're looking out from the inside of something? I think it's possible somebody gets dragged into one of those physical manifestations of the Solver, and this could be their perspective from inside it! Oooor we're looking at it from the outside, and there's something glowing inside the mass.

Next up, these guys??? So many possibilities here... They look like humans, but they aren't necessarily so, just like the "Tessa Isn't Human" theory. And from what little you can see in the teaser, they are moving in an odd way- suspicious. I originally thought they could be manifestation of the Solver or something, created to confuse, but after considering it for a bit, I realized it's more likely this scene is a flashback to when the core collapsed.

SOLVERUZISOLVERUZISOLVER- OHHHH BOY SOLVER UZI

Okay. This shot is a bit confusing; can't really make out what's going on- To me, it looks like something is possibly exploding? And the red string things are lasers or something? Also the blobs in the foreground definitely look like Solver hands, but- that's all I've got for this one

Tessa. Tessatessatessa tessa are you pulling a sword on Uzi? oh no, you are, aren't you, ohh no

WHAT DID UZI SEE. ON THAT TV SCREEN. HELP SHE LOOKS SO TRAUMATIZED- Also also wanted to point out the "freaking ninja star" on the ground.. little callback there :,)

the crucifix will be important, oo religious imageryyy eee

DOG.

Small thing, this is clearly the same scene from the GLITCHx 7/8 teaser, but it's the shot from a little bit before the clip in that teaser plays. I wonder how much control Uzi has over herself at this point... These robots are going to so much pain someone help them

norinorinori nori I'M SO READY FOR THE LORE AND FLASHBACKS EEEE

OMGOMGOGMOGMOMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HYPED I WAS WHEN I SAW THIS- WE'RE GETTING MURDER N YALL!!! FIRST TIME SINCE THE PILOT EEEE!!! Oh my gosh I just KNOW it's going to be an emotional response to something horrible happening- something to do with Uzi getting fully possessed, or almost dying, or N THINKING she's dead, or just all the stress of EVERYTHING, along with V's (hopefully not actually) death, and it just pushes him to his breaking point OH AND all the repressing he's been doing this whole time WILL NOT BE HELPING WITH THAT !!! I'm SO EXCITED TO FIND OUT AAAA-

Oh it could also be that N gets factory-reset, causing him to actually lose his memories or something, which is AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PILE OF ANGST, but personally I hope/think it'll be closer to the first one... It seems very likely to me that all of the stuff N's been going through (and how he's just been pretending everything's fine) would catch up to him, and it would lead to an "outburst" of everything he's been bottling up. PLUS do y'all remember that merch ad?? I know it was just a promo, but merch stuff has been shown to be kind of relevant to the plot in the past soo... yeah I'm feeling very good about this theory-

Okay so this is the same guy from the earlier image with all the humans- That feels notable, like they're going to be important. And is it just me and my poor video quality or does the Sentinel hand look glitchy?? Could it have turned on the humans like the one that turned on "Tessa" in Cabin Fever??

Oh dear, that's oil (or blood; they whole thing's too red to tell) coming from Uzi's eye... Feeling like the same thing that happened to Doll happens to Uzi... agh the ANGST hdfbsjsb

DOOOOOLL DOLL DOLL !!! SHE'S THERE !! I THINK SHE HAS BUTCHER KNIVES AGAIN !! I wonder who she's fighting... (I mean it could be a sentinel, but it looks like she's talking, so I'm guessing it's one of the group) ee I'm excited to see where Doll's character goes from here !!

ALLLLRIGHTY!! This has been a breakdown of my personal thoughts on the teaser! I am SOOO excited; these next two weeks need to go by FAST but ik they won't- Anyways... thanks for reading ! :D

[cowgurrrl]

Shrapnel

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Summary: “Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them.” — Lois Lowry, The Giver aka a person from your past finds their way back [2.3k]

Warnings: pregnancy, a problematic ex, jealousy, talks of Jane, ✨feminine rage✨, language, threats of canonical violence

You're holding Joel's hand while walking through Jackson when it happens. He's not usually one for PDA, but since you found out you're pregnant, he almost always has a hand on you. He squeezes you when a voice calls out to you. You have a doctor's appointment later in the day and got through your unremarkable early morning patrol shift. You're much more interested in debating baby names with Joel than talking to anyone else, but the shouting gets more persistent. At first, it's just your first name, but as the sound gets closer, your maiden name gets tacked on. Nobody's called you by your maiden name in years. It's enough to make you turn with furrowed brows and frustration building in your chest.

It takes a second for your eyes to adjust to the person in front of you, but once they do, you're stunned into silence. He's aged— wrinkles in the corners of his eyes, gray at his temples, and a slight limp in his gait. He's definitely not the teenage boy you once knew. You subconsciously drop Joel's hand and take a step back to fully process the man in front of you.

"Matt?" You breathe, and he smiles.

"Hey," he says. "I can't believe you're… here and alive."

"Yeah, I could say the same to you. What are you doing in Jackson?"

"My group trades out here sometimes. I've never seen you here before, though." He says. How the fuck could Maria not tell you about the smuggler who looks a scary amount like the little girl in the photo on your desk? Maybe she didn't know. Jane never had his last name. There's no way she would've known. "What are you doing here?" He turns the question around.

"We live here." You say and raise your hand to rub Joel's back. His shoulders are tense under your touch, but you each relax at the familiar affection. Matt looks between you two, and you recognize the slight puffing of his chest. Matt's body has changed with the apocalypse, muscles and scars peeking from his sleeves, but Joel is broader and a good head taller than him. Joel doesn't even blink at the peacocking.

"You gonna introduce us?" Matt asks, gesturing to Joel.

"Uh… yeah. Yeah, this is my husband, Joel," You look up at Joel and nearly choke on your next words. "Joel, this is Matt, Jane's dad." Joel's face falls at the sudden connection. You can see him scrambling for something to say, but a light tap on your shoulder stops him. Like the patron saint of horrible timing, Ellie appears at your right. Matt looks over her in awe, and you immediately want to tuck her away from sight. "Joel, can you take her home?"

He stares at you, a protective glint passing through his eyes, and you give him a minuscule nod. He clears his throat and jerks his head at Ellie. The unspoken communication is understood, and she falls back enough for your blood pressure to drop to a reasonable level. He pecks your lips before holding a hand out to Matt.

"Nice to meet you, man." He says, and Matt meets him halfway, grimacing slightly at Joel's grip.

"Likewise," Matt says. Joel gives you one last look as he walks away. You watch him and Ellie bump shoulders and get further and further away from you and Nugget, Joel's nickname for the baby still developing under your heart. When you pry your eyes from your family and look at Matt, he smiles politely. "Should we talk?" You don't trust yourself to open your mouth and speak, but you nod and lead the way to the Tipsy Bison.

The Tipsy Bison is emptier than usual, something you're silently grateful for. Town gossip didn't end with Cordyceps— something you and Joel are more than familiar with— and you don't want to give anyone material for rumors. Matt gets a plate of food while you grab a glass of water and snag a table towards the back of the room. Once he settles across from you with his plate, you're not sure what to say or do. What do you say to the father of the kid you had at sixteen? The kid he abandoned?

"What've you been up to?" He asks, breaking the ice and making you chuckle at the absurdity of it all. "Besides getting married." There's enough bitterness in his voice for you to hear it and roll your eyes.

"That's normally what happens when you don't see someone for over twenty years."

"C'mon, let's not do that."

"Do what?" You snap, and he gestures vaguely between you.

"Fight. I'm not gonna ask you for anything," I'm not gonna ask for her back. "I'm just happy you're alive and safe. I wanna know how you got here and what's been going on with you guys. Can you just, I don't know… let me in?"

Something stupid, vulnerable, and fifteen in you wants to give in and tell him everything. Something else screams at you to run him out of town. You take a deep breath and a sip of water.

"I was a smuggler in the QZ back home for a few years before moving to Boston. That's where I met Joel." You say, and he nods, grateful for the information.

"Joel seems like a good guy."

"He is," you say. He takes a bite of food, and uncomfortable silence falls over you. You wonder if he can spot your barely there bump under your thick jacket and if he would even say anything if he did. He barely gave you any attention when you were pregnant with Jane. You doubt he'd see anything now. "How long have you been smuggling?"

"About ten years. I used to do the FEDRA jobs before I met the people in my group. It's better money, and I get to travel with them."

"What QZ did you end up at?" You ask. He gives you the name of another QZ about a six-hour drive from your hometown. He tells you he was visiting a friend when Outbreak Day happened and never made it back. Why would he? He didn't have anything he cared enough to come back for. You tell him about getting to the local QZ and staying there, conveniently leaving out details about Adam, hit jobs, and midnight star gazing. Once you're done, he stares down at his plate, moving food around with his fork as he thinks.

"That girl," he starts, and your heart clenches. "Was she-"

"No," you cut him off, shaking your head. "No, she's not. Her name is Ellie. Joel and I adopted her a few years ago."

"So, where's Jane? She's… how old is she?" He asks. Your hand instinctually lands on your small bump under the table, a nervous habit you picked up from your first pregnancy.

"Twenty-five."

"I can't believe that. What's she like?"

"Matt…"

"I know I don't have the right to ask or even be here, but I wanna know about her. If you don't want me to meet her, that's fine. I won't argue with you. I just wanna know if she's happy. Well-adjusted, especially after everything. That's all." His words are too little, too late. How dare he act like you kept her from him when he never came around in the first place. Like suddenly he's Father of the Year, and you're the bitch baby mama who never gave him a chance.

"She's dead." It stings as it leaves your mouth, and you watch the weight of the words smack him in the face. His fork falls from his hand, and his eyes search your face like he's trying to determine if you're lying or playing a mean joke on him. You don't know what he finds in your expression, but it's enough for all his breath to leave him.

"W… what? What happened? When?"

You give him bits and pieces. You tell him about Mrs. Carmichael and the school, but you don't tell him how far you were from the QZ or why you couldn't return to your original, much closer trading post. You tell him you buried her but not where. You tell him you went after the Fireflies who detonated the bomb but not how you bled information from them until you were shaking from rage and grief. By the end of it, he's pale and wide-eyed, but his hands are steady.

"I should've been there," he says, and you want to agree, but then he keeps talking. "I could've protected her better or kept her safe or, I don't know. Maybe things would be different." Protected her better. What the fuck could he have done that you didn't? How would he have kept her safe? By keeping her from her peers, learning, and the sliver of hope embedded in her favorite books? By locking her away and controlling her every move like he tried with you?

"What would've been different, Matt?" You ask, decades of anger and annoyance bubbling up to the surface. "You? Us? Give me a fucking break. There's nothing you would've done to protect her. You weren't ready to be anyone's father, let alone hers."

"But you think you were?"

"The second I saw those positive tests, I knew I could. For ten years, I was ready to give her anything and everything. For ten years, I took the shitty jobs and overdrew my bank account, and lost sleep trying to keep her alive. And what were you doing when I got kicked out of my mom's house and had nowhere to go? What were you doing when she had colic and couldn't stop crying? What were you doing when she needed someone to walk her into school every morning for a month because she was so scared?"

"I was a kid." He tries, and you laugh, dangerous and low.

"And I wasn't? I was Ellie's age when I had her. Joel was twenty-two when he had his daughter, and he was scared but still stepped up for her." At the mere mention of Joel, he rolls his eyes and pushes away from the table.

"We're talking about us and our daughter, not him."

"Oh, it's our daughter now? Now that she's dead, you want some kinda claim?" You ask. "You don't get to come into my town, ambush me, and then act like I'm the bad guy," he tries to open his mouth to argue, but you put a hand up to stop him. "And if you say anything else about my husband, I'll tie you to the back of my horse and drag you out of town. Do you understand me?" You ask, and he pauses like he's trying to figure out if you're serious, nodding when he realizes you are.

"Here's what's gonna happen: you and your group are gonna trade whatever you need to trade for, and then you're going to leave my town. You're not gonna say anything about this conversation to anyone, most of all my daughter, and if I catch you so much as looking at her again, I'll break your fucking neck. You can keep smuggling here but never speak to or about my family ever again. If I find out you're spreading lies about Jane or Ellie or even Joel, I'll-"

"Careful, you might run out of big, scary threats there, sweetheart." The unmistakable sound of you cocking your gun under the table clicks in the air. It's a miracle he's survived this long with that big fucking mouth and no observational skills. He swallows hard as you press the barrel of your gun into his kneecap.

"You wanna cut me off again, or do you need to learn a lesson?" You ask. He shakes his head, suddenly enthralled by whatever you could have to say. "Get the fuck out of Jackson." You push your gun against his bone hard, hard enough to make him hiss in pain, before removing it completely.

Then, silently and with his tail between his legs, he does what he does best. Turns his back and leaves. You're privy to the fact that this is similar to the first time he left. You were pregnant, he was pissed, and neither of you were necessarily happy with the situation. Except this time, you hold all the power. This time, instead of going back to a home you'd be kicked out of, you're going home to your husband and child. This time, your baby already has a father who loves them so much, and you still have six months until they're born. This time, you're not worried about the future because you have people who support and love you, no matter what.

And what is he returning to? A sleeping bag and the knowledge that he fucked up and probably will continue to fuck up until he gets it together or dies, whichever comes first. For the first time since he yelled at you and left you to fumble with the pieces at sixteen, you feel a sense of closure or, at least, victory.

Did you see that, Janey girl? You think when you walk outside and look up at the gray March sky. Do you see how I'm still protecting you? Do you see how much I still love you? Do you still feel it? A single, strong kick to your side seems as good an answer as any. You laugh and rub your hand over where you felt the tiny foot. For a moment, you realize you're the only bridge between Jane and this baby, that whatever cells Jane left behind in you are mixing with these new ones. And you're not religious, haven't been for a long time, but you pray they're able to know each other through you. You pray you're strong enough to do that for them. You pray one day you'll see Jane again, and she'll tell you how she was with you every step of the way.

Not yet, sweet girl, you think. Not quite yet.

[joekeeryswife]

For you, For her - e.m

hello angels! i hope everyone’s doing well. here is part two to deadbeat dad (the eddie version, steve version out soon!) i’m really excited about this one and i hope you all enjoy reading it🩷 if you enjoy rockstar!dad (or even just regular dad!Eddie) send me some requests!🩷

(here is the Steve alternative ending!)

taglist(feel free to add yourself🩷): @theshireisonfire @thankingjoe @livsters @sadbitchfangirl @hellfire1986baby @ladyapplejackdnd @alexxavicry @juleshadalittlelamb @hollandweather @lovurry @bibieddiesgf @plk-18 @m-rae23 @hargrovesswifee @missabsey @chxrrySprxut @idkjoequinn @plutosllama @emma77645 @birdysaturne @thefrontofmymind @pbs-theundeadmaggot @keirasreplies @tiannamortis (if there’s a line through your name i cannot tag you for some reason, make sure your tags are on. also lmk if you want to be deleted from my taglist 🩷)

"hey, what's got you up so early?" Eddie's manager Steph said leaning against the kitchen side as she drank her coffee. it was 8am and she was surprised to see him up this early. let alone up, dressed and ready to leave the house. he used to wake up every afternoon with a different groupie leading them to the front door where he promised to call them which he obviously never did.

but Steph hadn't been at his house, which he shared with Gareth, since Eddie went to your house to see Penny. she had absolutely no idea what he was doing for himself, for his daughter, for you. he hadn't even slept with anyone since he spoke to you.

"i've got to go see my daughter" it had been almost two months since Penny's party and he had been bettering himself for her. he would turn up practically every weekend to take her out and do something she'd like. sometimes he'd even come round on the wrong days just to spend time with her, it made Penny's face light up when he actually showed up when he said he would and it was beautiful to see.

"no, you can't go today we have that party later and we all want you there" Steph shouted as she watched him slip on his shoes and grab his keys off the side. he stopped and turned to her, Eddie was very easily influenced but he knew if he didn't turn up that his girl would be stopped from seeing him and he couldn't handle that.

"i'm sorry Steph but right now my kid is the only thing i care about, enjoy the party" with that he walked out the front door leaving her stunned. Eddie Munson never ever turned down a party.

the last time Eddie went to a party was the day of his daughters birthday, he knew it was horrible of him and he honestly hated himself for doing that but he had stopped partying, he had stopped drinking and doing drugs which had shocked everyone. his friends, his family, the press and he was proud of the person he was becoming.

after the situation which happened a week after Penny's birthday he went to Wayne and was shouted at by him for hours. Wayne was furious that he even have the audacity to show his face after what he had done to his daughter and after he told Eddie that he was ashamed of the person he had become, he changed up real fast.

he went home that night and listened to the voicemail Penny had left him 'daddy. are you coming to my party, i miss you' it had broke him. he listened to the voicemail over and over again which made him sob for hours. his girl wanted to see him and he failed, he failed her. after hearing her say that she missed him, he knew that he could become a better person and he did.

it had surprised you to see Eddie standing there a week later, dressed casually and he explained to you that he was trying his best and you appreciated that. yes it took a little bit of time before Penny opened up to him again but he was grateful that you had given him the chance to see her, to tell her how sorry he was.

he didn't want to be known as the dad that didn't care because he did. he was grateful that Corroded Coffin had gotten the recognition they deserved, but he wishes some days that they hadn't so none of this would have happened.

he wished that things would go back to how they were when you were all a family, you made time for each other, loved and cared for each other and he was highly at fault. he wasn't showing you or Penny love, care or affection and it was his fault your relationship broke down. that's one of his biggest regrets.

the knock on your front door pulled you out of your thoughts. it was early, 8:32am to be exact, and the only person that you knew was coming round was Eddie. but that wasn't meant to be until later, Penny wasn't even awake yet.

you opened the door and saw Eddie standing there with a small, anxious smile on his face. "i know it's early but i thought it would be nice if we all spent the day together. we could let Penny pick, only if you want to. if you're busy i can come back later when i was meant to-" you shook your head and smiled.

"i think that's a lovely idea" you moved to the side so he could come in. Eddie let you and Penny stay in the house when the two of you broke up, he had some sort of a brain and you were grateful you did stay there. it was filled with beautiful memories and you would hate it if you did have to leave.

"she's not awake yet but she should be soon, she's gonna be really happy to see you" you smiled, Penny couldn't really remember what it was like when Eddie was here but all she wanted was for Eddie to come home so you could be a family again. she wanted to see her dad every day, she wanted him to be here with you and her.

Eddie sat down on the sofa and you sat next to him, keeping a bit of distance. "look i need to talk to you, it’s easier to do it now because she’s not awake" this made your smile drop and anxiety fill your body, he took a deep breath, obviously thinking about how he was going to say whatever he was thinking.

"i'm really sorry for everything i've done these past couple of years. i've been an awful person and i've hurt you both and i'm really grateful you're giving me a second chance to be Penny's dad" he grabbed ahold of your hands and looked into your eyes.

it was like every time you looked into them you were mesmerised, his eyes were one of your favourite things about him and you were happy when you saw Penny had the exact same eyes he did.

"i'm sorry i left and i'm sorry for not being there for you, i'm sorry for not being there for Penny and i hope you know that i have changed and i am never leaving her again. i was honestly the biggest asshole and there is nothing i regret more than how i treated you both, especially you. you've done it all on your own and you've raised her so well. you are an incredible mum" you smiled again, grateful that he was taking accountability for his actions, you were also grateful for the small praise he had said.

getting told you were a good mum always put your mind at ease. there was always the thought of you not doing it correctly but parenting didn't come with a book. you had to figure it out on your own and to get reassurance just made you feel like you were doing it your best and apparently, according to Eddie, you were an incredible mum which you were and he meant every word.

"thank you for saying that ed's" Eddie's cheeks flushed at the nickname, he loved you. he really really loved you and his biggest regret was leaving you for the band. he wished he treated you differently, he wished he could go back in time and talk things out with you and listen to what you had to say, he wished he showed you both the love and affection you deserved but he didn't and he hated himself.

he was brought up by Wayne who had told him to respect women and when he left he knew he was wrong. but he was easily manipulated into doing things even if he didn't want to like the partying, the groupies, the drinking, the drugs and when you do them a few times you get hooked and he couldn't stop.

he done them to be well liked, he done them to fit in with a crowd of people he hated, and now he had finally stopped doing them he felt like himself again. he felt like a person and he could actually hold a conversation without itching for the alcohol or the drugs.

"she's really sweet y/n and thank you for giving me a second chance to be her dad. i can’t describe how much it means to me" you squeezed his hands as a sign or reassurance. the both of you turned to the look at the stairs when you heard Penny was finally awake and walking down them, rubbing her eyes as she tried to wake herself up.

"morning sweetheart" you said as she walked into the living room, she yawned and looked to see both you and Eddie sat next to each other. "daddy" she squealed, she was definitely awake now. she ran to him and jumped into his lap making you pull your hands away so the two of them could hug.

"what are you doing here" she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. you watched the two of them and your heart melted, it was adorable. "well i missed you so so so much i couldn't stay away. so me, you and mama are spending the whole day together and you get to decide what we do" Eddie ran his hand up and down her back as she cuddle into him.

"really?" her eyes widened and excitement filled her small body. her mum and dad would be spending time with her for the first time in forever, literally. it had been years since you and Eddie had spent a whole day with Penny and honestly you were excited.

she picked up her head from his chest and saw him nod. "what did you want to do then honey?" you asked, there were two obvious places she would pick. either the beach or the zoo, Penny loved the beach but she also loved the zoo so you were sure she would pick one of those.

"please can we go to the zoo? i want to see the giraffes" they were her favourite animals which Eddie actually didn't know. "well, why don't i help you get ready, that means mama can get ready and we will be out the door quicker?" Eddie looked at you and then back at Penny who was smiling widely.

"you still remember how to bath her?" you joked which Eddie only nodded. he remembered but it had been years since he had been this sort of environment. "i'll run her bath, you just have to wash her and wash her hair" with that you left Penny and Eddie downstairs to run her a bath.

"you excited baby?" he pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her cheek, he missed moments like this. she nodded, her dimples showing as she smiled. Eddie was excited to spend the day with the both of you, he hoped that you could act like a family again.

-

"mama, daddy look there's a baby giraffe there" she squealed, Eddie was holding Penny who was pointing to the baby giraffe who had just come outside from the enclosure was with its mum, she was filled with excitement. "yeah honey, it's a baby giraffe. isn't it cute" you stood next to her and stroked her cheek.

"it's so cute" she said, her eyes never leaving the two animals. "what makes them your favourite animal angel?" Eddie turned his attention to look at Penny who was practically mesmerised with the giraffes.

"they are just so cute daddy. oh and mama told me they are friendly" as Eddie listened to Penny talk he realised how much he had actually missed, when he left you Penny could only say a few sentences and most of the time he would be speaking to himself but now he could hold an actual conversation with her.

"that's right. they are friendly" he had absolutely no idea if they were friendly or not but if it made Penny happy knowing they were friendly he'd go along with it. "do you want to go see any other animals Penny? or do you want to stay here for a bit longer" the three of you had been staring at the giraffes for at least thirty minutes.

"can we stay here just for a bit? i just want to look at the baby for a little longer" you looked at Eddie who nodded "yeah we can. but only for a little bit though, we have other animals to see remember" he tickled her tummy making her laugh loudly and fall back into him.

the three of you stood watching the small giraffe run around the huge open field for a few more minutes before you and Eddie heard someone speak to him. "i'm sorry to interrupt you man but my son is the biggest fan of Corroded Coffin, would you mind if he got a picture with you? i know you're with your family but this would mean the world to him"

the two of you turned around as the man spoke and you smiled at his son who looked like he was holding himself back from running to hug Eddie.  he looked no older than 7 with his dad stood next to him and looked mesmerised by Eddie actually being in his presence.

the father held a grey polaroid camera "of course, you don't mind do you?" Eddie turned to let you hold Penny whilst he took a photo. "not at all" you held Penny who was still looking at the giraffes running around the field whilst Eddie knelt down next to the small boy.

"what's your name bud?" you heard him say as he hugged the young fan. "Ozzy" he seemed shy but watching the interaction was adorable. "woah sick name. i assume you're named after Ozzy Osbourne who is my personal favourite"

you turned back to look at the open field and kissed Penny on the cheek, you could hear Eddie talking to Ozzy and his dad. Ozzy and his dad were thanking Eddie for taking the time out of his day to even acknowledge them, let alone have a conversation and take a few photos with them.

"thank you again Eddie, you're amazing" with a quick hug from Ozzy and a handshake from his dad the two of them left to allow Eddie to get back to the two of you.

"he was adorable" you said as Eddie stood next to you. he nodded agreeing, opening his arms so he could take Penny back "yeah he was" he held Penny in his arms and kissed her forehead a few times. she didn't even feel the affection because she was still infatuated with the giraffes.

-

after a long day at the zoo you and Eddie decided it would be best if you went back to yours for dinner which had happened to be one of the best dinners any of you had. it was just the three of you being together, spending time with each other as you ate and talked about anything that came up.

it was nearing Penny's bedtime, spending the whole day with Eddie had made you realise your feelings for him hadn’t gone away. before he left he was an amazing dad, even if he was tired from work he would make the effort to look after Penny whilst you were able to do a few things for yourself and now that he had finally realised what he’d been missing out on he was becoming that amazing dad again.

you hated when you would see the newspapers where Eddie and a random groupie would be on the front cover, white powder on his nose with his already pale skin looking even paler. he just didn’t look like your Eddie and at that point he wasn’t anymore and it broke your heart.

you missed when the two of you would put Penny to bed and would watch her sleep in comfortable silence, she always looked so peaceful when she slept and it was crazy to the two of you that you both created such a beautiful baby, she was utterly perfect.

the three of you were sat on the sofa, Penny asleep whilst laying on top of Eddie who had cuddled her since the minute the three of you got home. “it’s getting late, you want to help me get her ready for bed?” you looked down at Penny who was snoring softly.

he nodded and stood up carefully making sure his grip was tight so she wouldn’t fall. the two of you walked up the stairs, you behind Eddie looking at the sleepy girls drooling on his shoulder.

once the two of you were in her bedroom you picked out her pyjamas and got her dressed, careful to not wake her up out of the peaceful slumber she was in. once she was dressed you laid her down in her bed and pulled the covers over her, tucking her in and with a quick kiss on her forehead you moved out the way so Eddie could say goodnight to her.

this was the first time in three years Eddie had been here to tuck her in and say goodnight. he knelt down to look at her, her curls where all over her face so he gently pushed them back and kissed her cheek, she sighed peacefully and that felt like your queue to leave her to rest.

Eddie didn’t want to leave though, he wanted to stay with the two of you and never leave again but he knew it didn’t work like that. the two of you went downstairs and a comfortable silence filled the space. “so, i guess this is my time to leave” he joked, scratching the back of his back awkwardly.

“you can stay for a bit if you want. maybe it would be good for us to talk?” he looked at you to make sure you were 100% sure and that he was actually hearing you correctly. “i- uhh, are you sure? i can leave if you want” you laughed and shook your head.

“i think it would be good for us to talk” you turned to walk to the living room and sat down on the sofa, knees brought to your chest. you could hear his sock covered feet following you and he sat next to you quickly after.

“we haven’t really had a conversation and i think it’s good for me to tell you now” you were still madly in love with Eddie and spending the little time you had together had made you realise it, you were with him for five years before you broke up and your feelings don’t just vanish into thin air.

he was confused at first, what was there to talk about? “i know you left me and i understand why you did, it was hard for me to get it at first but i do understand. but i do want you to realise that just because you left doesn’t mean my feelings for you just went away” he looked at you feeling guilty about the past.

“i’m not gonna sit here and say what you did was okay because it wasn’t. you hurt me a lot and you hurt your daughter. you had time to go and sleep with whoever you wanted and do whatever you wanted and i had to be strong and look after Penny all by myself. it was hard to see you not make an effort for her and what made it even worse was every time i did see you it hurt me so much because you didn’t even look like yourself” you felt your chin quiver as tears filled your eyes and his eyes glossed over with tears of his own as he listened to you talk.

“i always wanted to help you, i always tried to reach out to help you but i couldn’t get through to you and it hurt me to see you doing the stuff you did and i would see your face everywhere and i was trying to i guess grieve our relationship and i couldn’t. i didn’t want that to be the end of us Eddie because my feelings for you never went away. they never left my body and that’s why it hurt”

you both had a few tears rolling down your cheeks “i need you to know that i do love you, i love you so much Eddie and i can’t help how i feel. i would dream about how we used to be and i missed it, i missed you and if you don’t love me that’s okay i’ll live, but please don’t leave Penny again just because i told you this. she needs you” you sniffled and looked down at your knees, cheeks blushing as you wiped your tears.

“you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting to hear you say that” you looked up at Eddie how’s eyes were bloodshot, tears rolling down his cheeks which a huge smile on his lips, his dimples showing. he moved closer to you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, bringing you into him.

after three years of yearning for his love, his affection you finally felt his lips on yours. the kiss was filled with passion, filled with every ounce of love you had for each other.

“i love you so much” he said between a few small kisses you two shared. “i love you too” you spoke softly into the practically silent house. “i’m never leaving either of you ever again, i promise” he kissed you one more time, the two of you smiled into the kiss, it was like nothing had changed when you kissed each other.

in the space of a two months Eddie had changed for the better. he’d long forgotten the drugs, the alcohol, the groupies. god the words made him feel sick. he changed for you, changed for Penny and now the two of you could continue your life and expand your beautiful family.

[rxmqnova]

Hey

Love your work. How about lizzie, daughter reader ?

(Set during WandaVision filming)

Lizzie's really annoyed with us because R got suspended from school for skipping class and giving the teachers 'sass' so we have to spend time with her on set.

We attend the on set school with the other child actors. But it soon becomes clear we can only read at a 2nd grade level (we're a teen).

Lizzie gets informed during her break and feels horrible for giving us a hard time, and being too busy to notice how much we're struggling.

So that night she asks us to help her run her lines. We're really anxious about it, so Lizzie sits us on her lap, tells us she knows about our reading troubles and helps us to read the tommy and Billy lines.

It becomes clear we're a 'chip off the old block' so she gets us a part in the t.v show.

Hoping that acting will help with our dyslexia

Feel free to change or add anything here 😃👍

Thanks. Your the best 👌

Reading problems

Y/N: 13 years old ——————————————————

NO ONE'S POV "Mom, I-"

"Y/N, don't. I'm really mad right now" Lizzie gives her daughter a stern look, continuing her way to the car while Y/N's following behind.

"But I-"

"I said no, Y/N… Skipping classes. What were you thinking?" Lizzie shakes her head, not even turning around to look at her daughter.

Lizzie and her daughter only just left the principal's office. Y/N got suspended for skipping classes and not being really nice to her teacher about it which, of course, didn't make Lizzie exactly happy.

The entire car ride home has been nothing but super uncomfortable for the young girl. Lizzie hasn't said a single word, still being really mad and disappointed which is something Y/N absolutely hates.

And unfortunately, the rest of the day happens to be pretty much the same, Lizzie talking only when it's necessary and Y/N better hidden in her bedroom.

———

The morning comes sooner than Y/N would like and Lizzie's already sitting on her daughter's bed, attempting to wake her up.

"Mom, I'm suspended. Did you forget?" Y/N groans, hoping her mother would let her sleep.

"I could not forget that. Did you really think I would leave you home alone after yesterday?" Lizzie raises an eyebrow. "You're going on set with me and you're going to attend the set school with Jett and Julian" Of course Lizzie earns a whine from her daughter on those words. "Get ready and come downstairs"

Hearing a nod Lizzie leaves the room, leaving her daughter to get ready. Y/N better does what her mom said and gets ready, meeting Lizzie downstairs.

Well, and after breakfast and getting everything that needs to be done before leaving, the pair gets to the car and heads on the set.

Once they arrive, Lizzie immediately leads her daughter to where the boys and the teacher are currently waiting for Y/N so they could start.

And as soon as Y/N joins them, they get into work. They start with some math which is luckily not that hard for the young Olsen. She's older than the boys and had already done this at school.

But then comes some reading and that's something Y/N absolutely hates. It is actually the main reason why she skipped her classes.

It's just the fact that for some odd reason the words are so hard to read for the young Olsen. She has no idea why, but sometimes she just misses out a few words when reading, or adds some. Or sometimes she mixes up the letters in a word.

And of course that didn't go unnoticed by her classmates. Now their just making fun of her that she can't read fluently, and especially when the teacher chooses her to read out loud.

Though now it's time for the boys to get ready for filming, so Y/N gets dismissed too. And just like Lizzie told her, she makes her way over to her mother's trailer to meet Lizzie there once she has a break.

Meanwhile Lizzie finishes her scene, so as planned, she starts walking towards her trailer.

"Miss Olsen, do you have a minute?" The teacher rushes to Lizzie once she sees her.

"Oh, sure. Is everything okay? Please don't tell me, Y/N got into some trouble again" Lizzie sighs.

"No, no. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but Y/N's quite struggling. Especially with reading" The teacher starts, explaining everything to Lizzie who is more than shocked she hasn't noticed anything before.

When the two say goodbye, Lizzie starts walking to her trailer again, wondering how is it possible she hasn't found out about Y/N's troubles earlier.

"Y/N/N?" Lizzie calls, stepping into her trailer.

"I'm here!" Y/N calls back. "Working on the papers to school!" She adds.

Of course she got a stack of papers to do over her suspension, so she wouldn't be behind the others when she gets back to school. And to not make her mother mad even more, she decided to work on them. There's nothing much she can do anyway.

"That's good. Was everything okay at the set school? Did you understand everything?" Lizzie asks softly, pressing a kiss to the top of her daughter's head on which Y/N furrows her brows in confusion. Is not Lizzie mad anymore?

The truth is that she feels horrible for being so mad at her daughter. Sure she's been busy with work, but she feels guilty she hasn't noticed how much Y/N struggles at school.

"All good" Y/N nods.

———

"Y/N/N, sweetheart, can you come here?" Lizzie calls from the kitchen, sitting at the table with a script in front of her, hearing a 'coming' back.

Y/N leaves the living room, walking to the kitchen where her mother called from.

"Could you help me to run my lines, please? Could you read Billy and Tommy's lines for me?" Lizzie asks, patting the chair next to her.

"I-Hm. I-I don't know, mom" Y/N says, nervously playing with her fingers and looking down at the ground.

"It's only a few sentences, honey. Please" Y/N ends up nodding, though she's really not ready for her mom to know about her reading difficulties. "There's no need to be anxious or worried. Come here, sweetheart" Y/N walks closer to her mother who pulls her to sit on her lap. "I spoke to the set teacher. She told me you have little troubles with reading. But that's completely fine. We're gonna practice together, yeah?"

"You're not mad?" Y/N asks quietly, still playing with her fingers nervously.

"Of course not, honey. I should have noticed earlier. I'm sorry how I acted earlier. If you ever have any problem, you can always come to me, okay?" Lizzie questions, earning a nod. "Let's practice a little now" She smiles, taking the script. "Could you read this for me?" She questions, pointing at the sentence with her finger.

The pair sits there for quite a long time, Lizzie helping her daughter to read every single word Y/n has a problem with. And to be honest, Lizzie's actually impressed how good of an actress her daughter is. The way Y/N repeats the sentences Lizzie had helped her to read like she's actually acting gets Lizzie thinking.

She promised herself she would not let her child to step into the film industry until she's 18, but if learning the script could help her daughter with her dyslexia, maybe just a small role wouldn't hurt. If it's something Y/N would want, of course.

----------------------

Elizabeth Olsen masterlist

Masterlist

[asjjohnson]

What if Danny were half human, half ghost; as in half of the time?

Kind of like how werewolves have a schedule based on the moon, halfas have a schedule based on the sun.

So, he's completely human by day, and as the sun sets he turns ghost.

Perhaps his parents' inventions won't register him at all, or perhaps they would still be sensitive enough to pick up on something. But the situation would lead to more problems at night.

Since he can't shift between forms at will, it's like the fics about him being stuck in ghost mode, only every night.

Maybe his parents wouldn't notice during summer months. He goes to bed a little early; but that's good, his parents think, he's responsible enough to have an early bedtime for school. (when... school is in session, at least. He apparently wears himself out every single day during summer break?)

But in the winter months, when the sun sets before dinner, he never eats that last meal with his family. Always either not hungry or already ate. (is he... mad at them about something...?)

He's barely seen around the house in the evenings. They know he's around, but they only catch glimpses of him as he goes between rooms. And why is he wearing so many clothes does he have a fever here let me check—

And any event that takes place at night would be worrisome for Danny. Dances, going to the observatory with his family, camping... Even mornings can be iffy during the time of year when the sun rises late; when he has to get ready for school before dawn.

Vlad doesn't have much trouble with being a halfa, though. No one ever notices that he only makes appearances during the day.

Though the Bitter Reunions episode would have a few small changes. It might be easier for those two to recognize each other as halfas. At least if Vlad happens to see Danny Phantom in Danny Fenton's bed, or Danny noticing a ghost doing stuff Mr. Masters would do. Or Danny hearing Vlad's watch alarm going off just as Danny glances at his own watch as he wonders how to politely ask about the guest rooms. He doesn't even open his mouth before Mr. Master starts pushing them up the stairs, talking about how it must've been such a long and tiring trip.

Unless they're both pretty clueless and things happen more similar to in the episode. Except for them discovering each others' identities, because they don't go ghost at will. ...Though at least one of them would probably find out the other's identity anyhow. If they end up fighting until dawn they'd both find out quick. Or if Danny's defeated before sunrise, then he won't turn human, so Vlad might lock him up or something, and then Danny Fenton would be mysteriously missing the next morning. After determining he isn't in the castle or anywhere on the grounds and the vulture ghosts have not killed him, Vlad would probably put it together.

As for the reunion... those typically take place at night. But Vlad would probably have it start an hour or two before sunset, do a little mingling, and have his revenge plan take place after dark as Plasmius.

...The Maternal Instincts episode might be a little more iffy, though. How hard it would be to want Maddie to spend the night, to want to romance her, and yet, he can't be around her at night. He would need a butler or someone to greet her and Danny when they show up after dark, and it would be horrible to have to watch from a distance without being able to speak to her. ...Then again, she'd probably be too worried about her son disappearing out in the woods. When she's told that Mr. Masters has retired early but has a guest room for her, she would say to wake him up, her son is missing in the woods and she needs help searching. ...Although... Danny is probably having a very bad time if Maddie happened to lock the Specter Deflector around his waist during the day and he hadn't been able to sneak the key away before sunset.

Another thing that would be interesting to note is what would happen to a halfa during a solar eclipse. With the sun covered during the day like that, he might have some unique-looking features, stuck between ghost and human.

...Would Danny turn even more ghostly during a lunar eclipse? The sun's on the opposite side of the earth, but now even the moon is in shadow. He might run on ghostly instincts during new moons and lunar eclipses. (which doesn't necessarily mean evil. And that could possibly change the Control Freak episode by way of Danny knowing how he would behave as a full ghost.)

[kairiscorner]

19

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

thank you anon :> ok, so this one is a doozy (i fucking cried inside):

comforting gwen

summary: gwen's in her own world again, thinking about the stuff that's happened in the past, beating herself up for it, and... you're worried. you're extremely worried for her. you want to help her so badly, but the right push for you to help was when you witnessed her storm out of band practice with tears welling up in her eyes.

word count: 1,973

the clanging of cymbals and the drumming on the snare abruptly stops mid-performance. the bass, electric guitar, and lead vocalist going on without her for a few seconds, until they notice their beat was lacking something. they turned around to face her. she was slightly pale, her light blue eyes widening as her eyebrows curved upward to display her discomfort, her desire to just vanish from there right now as her drumsticks fell from her clutches, her grip lessening as the feeling overwhelmed her; engulfing her life a big wave she can't even see the top of. it was back again, that horrible, horrible aching feeling that consumed her.

her breathing was ragged, her hearing just became ringing. she could barely make out the muffled and overlapping voices of her bandmates as she mumbled a, "not again" hastily, over and over as she gripped her head, feeling a heavy weight on her chest and back as she hunched over, tears welling up in her eyes as she felt her breathing become more and more labored.

"stacy, you okay--" asked one of her bandmates as they extended their hand towards her, but she slapped it away. with a furious look on her face as her eyebrows knitted together, and her mouth contorting into an uncharacteristic scowl. "leave me alone!" she shouted as she got up, and as her bandmates rushed to the aid of the one whose hand she slapped away, a split second of regret for what she did in her hazy, ambiguous bout was seen; which was quickly replaced by a new kind of disgust and anger: towards herself for feeling this way.

you soon entered their practice hall, hoping to catch gwen and ask her if you could take her somewhere nice tonight, but the moment you came in was the moment she stormed out. "watch your girl, she's been pretty out of it lately." said the vocalist of the mary janes. "'pretty out of it'? she slapped me when i was trying to help her!" exclaimed her bandmate whom she slapped their hand away.

"she...? oh no..." you thought aloud as you rushed to the direction where she stormed off, hoping she wouldn't do anything crass or anything she'd regret. you looked around for her, searching everywhere within the vicinity, calling her on her phone, only to hear buzzing against the ground. you found a flashing light from a stray phone, seeing a photo of you from her 14th birthday with cake shoved in your face with a lopsided, crumpled birthday hat on with a playful smile on your face.

this was gwen's phone.

"shit, not again... oh, gwinny..." you muttered to yourself as you called out for her, picking up her phone and hoping with all your might that you could find her this time, that she wouldn't be consumed by whatever she was feeling right then and there.

soon enough, as the sun was setting over the horizon, with the purple and pink hues in the sky stretching across the city, engulfing it in the eye-pleasing backdrop, you finally found gwen inside a small thicket by the farther parts of the building. she wasn't that deep in, but to get here, she must've walked an excruciatingly long distance.

you climbed up wordlessly as you felt the crunching of dried up orange and brown leaves from underneath the soles of your shoes and the crushing of smaller rocks as you marched up to talk to gwen, or at least, to see if she was doing better than how she was before.

gwen had her legs folded up to her chest, her arms folded on her knees as she pressed her forehead against them. she always got in this position whenever she felt... overwhelmed. you could remember the first time you saw her like this was after the death of her friend, peter parker.

you knew the guy, and you knew how much gwen loved him as a friend; the two were nearly inseparable, and you respected that. and to have him taken away from her like that... you could only imagine what kind of suffering she went through when she held his dying body, his eyes' colors fading away as she clung on to the hope that he'd live--she could do something, she had to have done something... right?

gwen perked up her head when you came closer, and soon, she saw your concerned expression looking down at her. "are you, um..." you mumbled, trying to find the right words to ask, because situations like this hardly have any "right words" to say. gwen looked down at the assortment of pebbles and brown leaf bits by her feet and shrugged. "it happened again." she uttered in a soft voice.

you sat down by her side wordlessly as you waited for her to initiate the talking first. gwen was... hopeless with words, especially in situations like these. and hey, so were you, but you never made stuff like this all about you, you never spoke for her when she needed to figure out just what was happening to her, you'd never, ever do that.

gwen breathes in deeply and holds it in for a few seconds, before letting it out with a ragged sigh, evoking tears to come out from the ends of her eyes, realizing she'd been holding that breath and a few tears in, which she was only willing to let out when you were there. just you.

after a few minutes of awkward, yet much needed, silence, gwen finally spoke up. "i don't know why this keeps happening, i should be over it... right? like, it... it happened so long ago. i shouldn't be affected by it anymore, at least, not this much... right?" she asked you as tears rolled down her cheeks, her eyebrows knitting together as her frustration with herself became more and more palpable.

you put a hand on her shoulder. "gwen, it's oka--" "don't." she cuts you off as she looks away from you, shutting her eyes as more tears came rolling down her cheeks and staining her shirt. "please don't tell me 'it's okay', it's not." she muttered as she got back in the position you found her in the moment you came across her after storming out.

she tried breathing in, but she exhaled it in a sob. "i'm glad you care, but please don't tell me it's okay because it's not. it's like his ghost'll always affect me, and that..." she trailed off as she looked down at her palms, as if the answer to her mental turmoils would be drawn across the skin of her palms. "...that's pathetic, isn't it?" she asked you as she turned to look at you, her bottom eyelids reddening and her nose and the corners of her lips quivering.

you shook your head. "no, it's not pathetic, it's... it's a sign you still care." you tell her as you brush her bangs out of the way of her face, the ends of her hair a tad bit wet from her tears staining it. you looked at her with such softness and care in your eyes, you wished you could take all her burdens, all her pain, and make it yours so she wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

gwen couldn't retort your logic, she knew it just as well as you did: she never stopped caring for peter, and his death affected her in so many ways, because she felt like her not having saved him, him wanting to be special, just like her, caused his death.

she feels like she killed him, and that feeling grew the more she realized she lived and he died.

gwen soon let out a louder sob, finally releasing all the feelings she's kept pent up ever since that day. you inched closer to her, and as she leaned against you, as she sobbed and sobbed her heart out. because of how many feelings she had neglected, how many thoughts she repressed were finally coming out like a flood, she cried louder and louder, as if she were screaming out her pain into the air for her cries to be heard--to be understood.

you wrapped her around your arms gently so as not to startle her, and you held her close. you let her cry over your shirt, it was just a shirt anyway, but what she felt... she wasn't just carrying feelings, she was carrying memories and thoughts with her that made her hate herself; she carried with her burdens no one will ever understand, maybe not even you would ever understand the full extent of.

you held her close and told her to let it out, for that was the best you could do. and even if gwen couldn't tell you right then and there that she appreciated your help, so, so much, her clinging on to you as she sobbed and holding you tightly was all the thanks you were satisfied with. she felt so comfortable with you, so vulnerable, so real with you.

"i'm scared... i might lose you, too. i don't know what'll, what'll happen to me if you..." she stammered out, her lips quivering as she blinked away her tears. you smiled softly at her as your eyebrows curved upwards in reassurance. "you don't have to worry about me, and i know... you might tell me you don't want to hear it, and i respect that. but i promise you, i'll look out for myself for you; and i'll always look out for you." you comforted her as you brushed your hand across her cheek with a reassuring smile.

"but please, promise me you'll worry about yourself, too." you reminded her as your smile slowly faded away. gwen's tears slowed down and halted from rolling down for a minute, she wiped the remaining tears away as she breathed in a shallow breath. "nobody understands a thing. nobody knows who you really are if you keep putting up walls between you and them." gwen utters in a soft voice as she rests her head against your shoulder.

"and you know what? i'm okay with that." she murmured as her voice cracked. "i'm not crazy for thinking i don't belong with a lot of people if their goal is to make friends. i might be crazy though for thinking... i can keep going on like this." she admitted as she looked up at you, who had been looking down at her all the while as she was speaking.

"if you ever feel like... the world's coming down upon you, crashing down on you and all... i'm right here for you." you tell her with a gentle smile. "i might never fully understand what you felt that day, what you continue to feel, and what you'll ever feel about that day, but... i've got you. you can talk to me." you reassure her, and at those last five words, gwen wraps you into a tight embrace, her thanking you and apologizing for getting you wrapped up in all of this.

"thank... you. i'll try, i'll try to... to accept it. and i'll... i'll take care of my...self better." she whispers to you, which you smile at as she hugs you back. she doesn't do friends anymore, but... you're the sole exception, you've been there for her since forever, and she's glad you'll extend staying with her even if she gets like this, gets scared, and confused, vulnerable and weak from her horrible thoughts and memories. she loves you more than how one would say they love a lover, more than how they say they love their parents or siblings or friends; she loves you with a love that heals and comforts, even if the scars of the past continue to throb at the most untimely moments.

a/n: GWEN I LOVE YOU PLEASE DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF AAAAAAAAAAAAA

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy

[gingiesworld]

Love is Fickle

Final Part

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Tears. Death.

Taglist: @username23345 @fxckmiup @marvelogic @dark-hunter16 @moistblobfish

18+ MINORS DNI

It had been a couple of months since Y/N had been declared MIA and Steve had went to lead a search team. Wanda kept reading over the letters they had sent as Peggy remained inside Y/N's room. Only eating when Mrs Maximoff made her meals.

"He will bring them home Peggy." She reassured her friend/neighbour. "The both of them will be home safe."

"I don't know." She whispered as she looked up at the woman beside her. "I have this horrible feeling. I can't quite explain it but I can feel something terrible has happened." Mrs Maximoff just wrapped her arm around her as she cried. "I don't know what I'll do if I lost either of them."

The weeks wore on and still no word of the whereabouts of Y/N, not even a peep from Steve either.

"This is the last place we have to search before they are declared dead." Captain Rogers stated as the troops nodded.

"But what about their families. We're practically giving up." One spoke out as Steve sighed.

"I am the family of one of the missing troops. My kid is out there getting tortured or god knows what." He boomed. "But we all fight under the same flag, so that makes you guys their family too, and we will fight to bring our family home."

"Yes sir." They all answered in unison.

"Let's move out!" He boomed before he headed to his quarters to check his rifle. Hoping that this is the place they find Y/N. Looking at the picture of the three of them together on a family vacation before they started their senior year.

The troops travelled towards the enemy base, well if that is what you can call it. It was only a few huts surrounding a cave. Shots being fired as they infiltrated the base. Steve had one goal in mind and that was find and rescue Y/N. Not caring if he made it out alive himself.

When they made their way towards the cells, Steve's heart broke at the sight. He saw Y/N strung up with their wrists tied together. The tips of their toes barely scraping the concrete below them. The blood both dry and fresh covered their face and ruined uniform. Steve was fast to get his knife from his belt to cut them down with the help of another.

"They're still alive but barely." They informed Steve as he sighed in relief. There was time to save their kid.

"Let's get them home." He said as the troops got the remaining survivors and led them outside. "We need emergency evac." He spoke through the radio.

"5 minutes out to the rendevouz point." They replied as the troops fired their way through the base. Killing enemies in their way.

"I'm going to get you home Y/N." Steve muttered as he continued to power through. The survivors were placed on the chopper as the extraction team provided cover fire. Steve groaned when he felt a bullet rip through his back. Not thinking much of it as he watched Y/N get treated.

----------------------------------------------------

Days had passed since the rescue, the survivors were being flown home as was the bodies of the fallen. Peggy stood with Mrs Maximoff as they watched everyone get off the flight. Hoping to see both Y/N and Steve walk off arm in arm. When the troops had walked off, her heart dropped at the sight of Y/N being wheeled off the plane. Tubes and wires were attached to help them heal as a coffin followed moments later.

"I'm so sorry for your loss Mrs Rogers." One of the Lieutenants spoke as they handed Steve's medal of honour to her. She sobbed as she realised that she had lost the love of her life. She almost lost her child too.

"Come on." Mrs Maximoff pulled her with her. Following as Y/N was taken to the hospital on the base. "Y/N needs you."

Mrs Maximoff informed Wanda of Y/N's return and Captain Rogers death. She visited them a few times, her heart breaking as she watched the machines do the work for them. Hating not seeing their eyes gazing into her own.

As the weeks wore on, Peggy was trying her hardest to be strong for Y/N but was slowly falling apart. Until the moment Y/N woke up, she smiled as the tears fell from her face.

"My baby." She whispered as Y/N gave her a small smile.

"Where's dad?" They asked as she sighed, giving them a sad smile.

"He uh he led the extraction team to save you and your unit." She started nervously. "They found you after months of searching and he uh." She wiped her eyes. "He died. GSW to the back."

"No." Y/N shook their head as she ran her fingers through their matted long hair. "He can't be."

"I'm so sorry baby." She whispered as she hugged them.

"I'm so sorry mama." They cried. "It's my fault. He should have just left me there."

"He wouldn't have done that and you know it." Peggy told them as she cupped their face. "He was so proud of you and he just wanted you home safe. That was all he ever wanted." The two cried together as Y/N held onto her for dear life. "I love you so much baby."

Once the two had calmed down, Peggy went to get coffee as Wanda stood in the doorway. A gentle smile on her face as she watched Y/N look out of the window.

"Are you going to step in or stand there." Y/N stated emotionlessly.

"I missed you." Wanda told them as she sat beside them.

"Did you mean it?" They asked her as they finally looked at her. "When you said you love me. Did you mean it? I need you to mean it, because I only thought of the possibility of having a life with you. Marriage. Kids. Just the thought of you kept me going and I need you to mean it because I don't think I will survive if you didn't."

"I meant it then and I mean it now." Wanda told them. "I love you. I am in love with you Y/N. I mean it with my last breath." She caressed their face. "It's you and I forever."

"I love you so much Wanda. I always have." They whispered before Wanda kissed them with so much emotion. Everything she had wanted to tell them over time was poured into this one kiss. She was letting them know she will be by their side for the rest of their lives.

5 years later

Y/N stood nervously at the alter as Peggy smiled at them from her seat. Carol, one of their colleagues straightened out their suit with a reassuring smile.

"You will be fine." She told them as she fixed their tie. Y/N knew the moment they saw Wanda walk down the aisle that they were set for life. The love they felt for each other grew with each passing moment. The future set before them in the green irises of their love.

"Wanda, I have always known that it was always you and I until the very end. It just took you a little longer but I would wait lifetimes to be with you." Y/N smiled at her as they spoke. "I promise to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you can be. Give you the family you crave and the happy ending you have always wanted. I love you Wanda Maximoff."

"I'm sorry that I didn't realise sooner that you were always the one for me." She spoke softly. "Everyone else knew but myself. I ignored everyone thinking they were just teasing me because we're best friends, but they knew that we were always meant to be. They knew that sooner or later, our paths would intertwine and I couldn't be happier than I am right now. I love you so much Y/N and I promise to love you more with each passing moment." The two sealed the moment with a loving kiss. Feeling like the only two people in the world.

[txttletale]

What's worm? I can't exactly google it bcs of the name but I'm intrigued

worm (2011-2013) is a web novel about superheroes by a canadian author who goes by wildbow. it was published serially over the course of two years and in that time managed to get well over a million words long. i think it's very good for a couple reasons:

it takes an approach to 'deconstructing the superhero genre' that i don't think i've ever actually seen--instead of something like the boys or watchmen it doesn't extrapolate forwards from 'what would superheroes be like if they were real', but instead extrapolates backwards from 'what real-life conditions would have to exist to lead to superheroes acting like they do in comics'. the world of worm is believable, well-drawn, and interesting to inhabit

it has incredible character writing. this might not be one of the first things most people associate with it but wildbow has an amazing capacity for giving characters, even side characters that appear for half a chapter, extremely intriguing personal and internal conflicts. sometimes wildbow will write a chapter from the perspective of a side character you never see again and it will leave you wishing they had their own novel series. also despite a lot of problems wildbow has with Some Demographics, most of these well-developed characters are the female ones, who get to dominate the emotional landscape and the plot in a way that's refreshing to see tbh

the protagonist is great. a lot of attention is paid by some fans to the fact that she's a smart problem-solver, and that is true--her power is 'controlling bugs' in a world where other people can fly and shoot lasers, so she has to get smart with it. but i like her mostly because she's an extremely traumatised freak making horrible decisions and justifying them to herself post-hoc constantly. it's fun and interesting to be in her head

worm gets away from a lot of the more reactionary undertones that the superhero genre often fails to escape by making powers an in-universe result of (and, on a narrative level, a pretty clear metaphor) trauma. they are essentially coping mechanisms exaggerated to the point of superpower--because of this it neatly avoids two genre pitfalls because 1. there is no 'some people are better and stronger from birth' angle and 2. it mostly takes a social view of crime--supervillains in worm aren't cartoonish forces of evil (mostly), they are people who are marginalized and desperate.

the powers are cool. this is lower down on my personal list of reasons i like worm than many people's but it's undeniable true. each character has a strictly defined powerset with certain inbuilt limitations that both work to say volumes about their personality but also make fight scenes fun and interesting to read because wildbow puts a lot of thought into how they interact

this is not intentional and worm is at times downright homophobic but i would be lying if i said this didn't play a part in how i and most people i know think about worm: a queer reading of the main character is very easy to make, and the intense and at times tempestuous relationship she has to the girls around her is damn compelling. don't go into it expecting 'representation' or anything, wildbow has insisted at length that the main character is straight. but fr shes gay af

now all this said: there's a lot of nasty stuff that happens in worm. there is a lot of body horror and a lot of insect horror. there are so many instances of bugs being forced into human orifices in this book i could have filled out this list with that instead. so if that turns you off give this one a miss. child abuse and violence against children in general is also something that comes up semi-regularly.

and to expand on something i said in the post that i assumed prompted this question--when these topics come up, worm does a very very poor job of handling race and a better but still not great job with gender and sexuality. the world outside north america is sketched with a looseness and a lack of research that borders on caricature (i can think of like five organizations/characters that were very clearly named through google translate). the pacing takes a huge hit after a certain event in the back half of the story, and it can be a little exhausting to read because it is both thematically and literally about constant crisis and escalation.

still, if none of that is a dealbreaker for you, i'd recommend it 100%. i'm definitely glad i've read it. it's a powerful story about trauma and authority and control that does reward the outrageous time commitment it demands. there's also a fanmade audiobook if that sweetens the deal for you. i haven't listened to it but i've heard that it's pretty decent for a volunteer effort.

[emmie-tt]

Hi there,

can I request a Blaise Zabini x reader?

Reader is also a Slytherin who got partnered up with Harry Potter during potions and became fast friends with him. Harry asked for her help to make Ginny jealous but what she didn’t expect is that Blaise would also be jealous and ended up confessing that he’s been in love with her this whole time? (Blaise and reader are close friends).

Thank you!

Glitch

Blaise Zabini x reader Summary: Helping Harry make his crush jealous unknowingly made your best friend jealous as well,I think there's been a glitch Warnings: Cursing , Sexual Innuendos -------------

I was supposed to sweat you out In search of glorious happenings of happenstance on someone else's playground But it's been two thousand one hundred and 90 days of our love blackout The system's breaking down

Y/N POV

Your brows furrow as you look up from your paper that you were busy writing your essay on before Harry sat himself down across from you and proposed a ridiculous idea

"Come on...Please..." He pleads as he stares you down

You stare at him silently before setting your quill down and leaning back in your chair "Let me get this straight, you want me to parade around as your arm candy so you can make your best friends little sister jealous in hopes she will notice you and go on a date with you?" Harry shakes his head as she groans "When you put it like that it sounds bad"

"No shit! That's because it is bad, it's actually horrible. In fact it's so bad I am honestly disgusted-"

He cuts you off with a dramatic roll of his eyes and a scoff "Fine, just forget it."

"Woah, woah, woah glasses. I never said I wouldn't do it."

"But you said-"

"I said it was a bad idea, not that I wouldn't do it." You shrug slightly before sitting up straighter in the chair "I'll do it, only because I know how much it will piss your little friends off that your associating with the enemy."

He rolls his eyes again but nods "Cool...Just- I'll meet you outside the greathall in the morning alright?" "Mhm. Off you go glasses"

With one last scoff he walks out of the library and back to wherever he came from and you just shake your head with a giggle as you watch him walk out the door

-------------

The next morning you roll out of bed and go about your morning routine. Taking a quick shower, brushing your teeth and hair, doing your skin care and getting dressed into your uniform for the day before making your way down to the common room where Draco, Theodore, Mattheo, Astoria, Daphne, Pansy and Blaise were already stood.

"About time you got down here" Astoria says with a smirk as you walk over to the group and took your spot next to Blaise

"Yeah, yeah, says the one who has to wake up four hours early."

With that we all have a little laugh before starting our walk towards the great hall. With a raised brow Pansy pokes your side and points over to Harry who was stood at the doors of the great hall

"Whats he doing?" she asks, ever the nosey and you giggle softly

"Waiting for me."

Blaise's neck almost broke from how fast he turned it to look at you. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Anyways, I will see you fine people in class" You blow them all a kiss before walking off and over to Harry who instantly laces his fingers with yours and leads you into the great hall

Blaise watches with a glare as you disappear into the great hall, your fingers laced with...Harry fucking Potters...Without meaning to I scoff and suddenly Draco's chuckle pulls me from my head and I look over at him slightly confused

Draco smirks before mockingly wiggling his brows "Watch it Zabini, you might be a Slytherin but green is not your color mate"

Blaise rolls his eyes and ignores the other teasing comments as he makes his way into the great hall and sits down to begin eating breakfast. His gaze travels from his plate and over to the Gryffindor table where you were sat, tucked into Potters side giggling at something he says

He can't be that funny and he sure as hell isn't cute- He pulls himself from his thoughts when you glance over at him and wink.

He rolls his eyes and turns his gaze back back to his plate, an action that shocked you as he always winked back...

Deciding to talk to him about it later you turn your own gaze back to Harry who was now talking to Ginny about godrick knows what. After a moment you fall into a surprisingly friendly conversation with Hermione.

-------------

Classes drug by. With Blaise seemingly ignoring you, you had no one to talk to or mess around with. The only good thing being that Harry successfully won over Ginny, something you were very surprised about.

Trudging into the common room you groan and immediately threw off your shoes before glancing around the room to see who was around. Seeing Blaise and Theo you smile and walk over taking a seat between both of them, your smile dropping instantly when Blaise stands and walks off up to his dorm.

Glancing over at Theo clearly confused he sighs rolling his eyes "He is so dramatic"

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Yeah."

Theos words shocked you and your eyes widened "Wh-What? What did I do?"

"You sucked Potters dick instead of Zabinins?"

While Theo's original words shocked you the sentence that fell from his mouth left you utterly speechless "E-Excuse me?"

Theo shrugs as if he just said the most normal thing ever. "You heard me."

You scoff shaking your head as you stand from the couch shaking your head "He doesn't look at me like that, you're crazy."

"Right, he totally isn't talking to you because he thinks you're screwing scar head. He is totally fine with it and just absolutely adores the idea because he totally isn't in love with you."

You were once again rendered speechless by his words, there was no possible way that Blaise, your absolute best friend, was in love with you-

Cutting your own thoughts off you dash up to the boys dorms, ignoring the teasing comment of Theodore who yelled "Go get that dick girl!"

After knocking on the door and receiving no answer you take it upon yourself to slam the door open finding Blaise, who now looked startled, laying shirtless on his bed with his phone in his hands

"Are you- What is happening with you? Why are you mad at me?"

He rolls his eyes with a scoff before muttering "Go away Y/N"

Shaking your head and walking into the dorm before closing the door behind you "No. Do you love me?"

His eyes widen slightly, clearly caught off guard by your blunt answer, he looks over at you then back to his phone "Doesn't matter, you're with Potter..."

Rolling your eyes you walk over and plop yourself down on the bed next to him causing him to shoot you a bewildered look "What are you-"

"I am not with Potter, I was merely trying to help him get with Ginny."

His bewilderment quickly turns to confusion as his body slowly relaxes from the tense state it was previously in and it slowly relaxed "Help with Ginny? How was you pretending to be his girlfriend helping him?"

You rolls your eyes "He made her jealous by pretending to date me since she hates me..."

"That..." Blaise mumbles as he lays his head back against the pillow "Is the dumbest thing I've ever heard..."

"I know!" You exclaim before rolling onto your side to face him "Now, tell me the truth. Do you love me or is Theodore lying?"

Blaise raises a brow as he glances over at you "Nott told you?"

With a groan you rather roughly smack his shoulder "Stop avoiding the question!"

He groans "Fine- yes... I do but it doesn't matter because there is no way you like me back-"

Rolling your eyes you cut his rambling off with a soft kiss, your hands gently cupping his cheeks as his hands shoot down to your waist as he instantly melts into the kiss

After a moment you pull away and rest your forehead against his "I do love you...I have for awhile..."

A smirk forms on his face as he pushes you onto your back next to him before climbing on top of you and kissing you again...among other things...

I think there's been a glitch, oh, yeah Five seconds later, I'm fastening myself to you with a stitch, oh, yeah And I'm not even sorry Nights are so starry, blood moonlit It must be counterfeit I think there's been a glitch, oh, yeah

[sga-owns-my-soul]

Fic Idea Adoption!

i have way too many ideas for fics and i know i won't ever get around to writing them all so i'm putting some ideas up for adoption!! i may or may not write these eventually, but they're too good of ideas to leave sitting in my notes app forever, so i'm releasing them to the void! anyone and everyone is welcome to use them, and feel free to be as ambiguous with the prompts as you want! no particular order but nsfw ideas are at the bottom for anyone who wants to avoid them!

(if you do use any of these, i would love to read the fic!! you definitely do not have to but please feel free to send me anything you write off this list!!)

-john takes rodney to earths moon

-john and rodney find the ancient equivalent of speed. they do Everything

-au where ronon gets earth to repeal dadt bc john tells him it's why he can't be with rodney and ronon goes I Must Fix This (he enlists teyla and lorne and maybe cadman)

-rodney asks ronon to go with john to earth (outcast coda)

-rodney goes on bill nye saves the world after stargate declassification

-evans biggest fear is having to shoot john (and maybe getting a promotion bc of it?) and john finds out

-rodney’s ‘torture too hideous and intimate to recount’ is him being tortured, just for them to realize that torturing his team is a better way to break him

-teyla living out ‘the chosen one’ trope

-what happens to sora after the eye

-au where meredith(female!rodney) comes to atlantis instead of rod and not only is rodney horribly disturbed, he’s furious (and strangely confused) as to why everyone apparently likes him more as a woman

-todd is weirdly obsessed with this strange human he meets, and is determined to get closer to him

-the team is most excited about catching up with todd when they get the confirmation atlantis is going back to pegasus

-everyone complains about rodney’s moods bc no one can complain about the infinitely worse in every way sheppard bad moods, that make everyone on the base wish they were on a hive ship being eaten by two wraith at once

-au where ronon ends up on athos at the same time the wraith come and he sneaks through the gate with the intention of just sneaking away on the next planet but whoops it’s atlantis (ronon pov)

-rodney keeps a memorial for every single scientist lost in his lab and radek shows it to new scientists who start complaining about rodney not caring and risking their lives

-reaper au where’s he’s fed the fuck up with these two stupid men who never actually die when they’re supposed to and it’s more annoying than anything now bc he still needs to show up

-au carson comes to atlantis and is HORRIFIED by becketts retrovirus research and the hoffan drug bc “does the hippocratic oath mean NOTHING here???”

-au where rodney can’t admit to himself what john means to him, until something happens that brings all the alternate rodney’s that have lost their johns to atlantis, and they all fall apart when they see john alive, and john and rodney have to have a Conversation (mcshep? maybe ambiguous? idk yet)

-rodney sees john as three separate entities: the Colonel, who is Professional Important Official Man; sheppard, who is his friend/team lead that he hangs out with and goes on missions with; and john, who he’s always seeming to have very intimate moments with that make him question a lot of how he feels

-early days in the city, elizabeth is sick of the marines shitting on the scientists for not being tough and the scientists for shitting on the marines for not being smart so she makes them try to solve a fake crisis from the other side and everyone is like aww shit this is harder than it looks

-that thing where tough men pretend they don’t care much about someone but then the person gets hurt and Tough Guy go a little feral and then holds them close and whisper pet names (sweetheart, baby, darling, etc) but it’s john and/or ronon after rodney gets injured

-the more important something is to john, the harder it is for him to talk about it, and rodney starts to realize how hard it is for john to talk about what rodney means to him

-a bunch of au sheppards get brought to atlantis and one on them is terrified of flying

-rodney has always said biology was beneath him, but then ford almost died, and was… different, from the wraith. and rodney knew he had to find a way to help ford, maybe find a way to fix his mental problems while keeping the physical benefits. rodney and carson find a way to save ford and sheppard is so thankful he kisses them both

nsfw ideas:

-ronon suggests some planets for trading when they get low on supplies that have an interesting trade system. it seems too good to be true and they wonder why telya hasn't taken them until they find out that they trade goods for sex

-au where john is hired as a spy for atlantis and he seduces people in pegasus to get intel for the city

-sometimes rodney just grabs john (by the hair, throat, back of the neck, chin, etc) and asks who he belongs to and john instantly melts

-rodney decides to be a tease on a mission and teyla and ronon think mckay is just really pissing sheppard off when he pulls mckay away for “privacy” but really he’s just super horny and wants to fuck (or, teyla and ronon don’t realize that their fighting is foreplay)

[dragonflavoredcake]

In Defense of Beauty and the Beast

It makes me mad to still see people talking about how Beauty and the Beast is about Stockholm Syndrome.

No. Just no. The story doesn't line up with Stockholm Syndrome. Belle does not fall for Adam (aka the Beast) while he's still being horrible to her. Early example:

She does not give him an INCH. He's bellowing and demanding she come to dinner or starve, and she stands her ground. Most people would give in. Belle is not most people. She will not be forced to do anything she doesn't want to, and if you try, you're gonna end up facedown in the mud.

She only starts being nice to Adam after he risks and nearly sacrifices his life to save hers. They had the option to completely split and forget about each other after the West Wing scene (and may I say Belle is hella manipulative in tricking Cogsworth and Lumiere to head off without her, she would be a terrifying villain). Adam could've let Belle vanish into the night, but he didn't. Belle could've left Adam to die in the snow and gone back to her father, but she didn't.

This is a major turning point in their relationship, but even then, she isn't nice when he's mean. When he yells at her while she's patching him up, she yells right back, and he can't even argue that the whole issue started because of his refusal to control his temper.

Since it's Disney, they fall in love over the course of a song.

Early movie Adam would never try to feed the birds. It's not a completely 180, he still gets frustrated when the birds won't fly into his hands, but Belle helps him out and helps him get that one bird to eat from his hands before he's covered in them. Belle watches from behind a tree for a part of this. Adam doesn't realize she's watching him, but he still entertains the birds. He doesn't become uninterested or shoo them away when he thinks she's not watching.

Belle throws a snowball and starts a snowball fight. Again, early movie Adam would never. Midmovie Adam joins in enthusiastically.

(Perhaps a little too enthusiastically, if that giant snowball is anything to go by.)

And can we talk about this little scene?

They're having porridge, Belle is eating it with a spoon like a proper French lady, and Adam is basically eating like a dog. Belle averts her eyes because awkward, and Adam sees her reaction and picks up his own spoon. A spoon that's much too small for his giant paws. A spoon he's visibly uncomfortable picking up. He can't effectively eat with it, and he looks absolutely ridiculous, but he tries.

And Belle sees him trying, so she finds a middle ground: drinking the porridge. No need for silverware, but still more suitable for polite society than eating like a dog.

Again, Adam is making a genuine effort for unselfish reasons, and that is when Belle really warms up to him. They spend the whole of Something There becoming friends and then falling in love. 

Tale as Old as Time is the big romantic number, and you know what? Belle leads most of it. The dance was her idea; Adam agreed and arranged for it to happen. She comes down the staircase first, and Adam has to meet her where she stands.

They eat dinner beforehand (where Adam successfully uses a spoon!), and Belle's the one who pulls Adam to the dance floor. Yes, she's in following position, but she's guiding him, placing his hands as they get into position. When Adam gets over his nerves and is ready to take the lead, she lets him.

There's the thing about ballroom dance: you can't dance with an unwilling partner. You also can't dance with a control freak. If I'm in lead position, I have to trust that my partner will understand what I want them to do and execute it well. If I'm in following position, I have to trust that my partner will correctly signal what moves they want and won't try to make me do anything that makes me uncomfortable. There's no micromanaging in dance—if you try to control someone else's movement, you're going to completely ruin both their part of the dance and yours.

All this makes the big emotional moment hurt: when Adam lets Belle go. This is also where the Stockholm Syndrome theory entirely shatters: everything leading up to this point has involved Adam completely relinquishing what little control he had over Belle and losing the drive to demand that control. He respects her and doesn't want to control her. When she passes through the castle gates, she leaves Adam's influence entirely.

Adam really doesn't leave the castle. He never really expects Belle to come back. He lets her go because Maurice is important to Belle, and he can't find it in him anymore to force her to stay. It's hardly even a question of whether to let her go, even though it's such a searing loss that he won't even defend himself or give order to defend the castle from Gaston's army.

He won't even defend himself against Gaston until he sees Belle down in the courtyard. As he's lying there, dying, he expresses shock that Belle came back. And it's THEN that we get the magic "I love you."

That's also why the end isn't completely cheap. No, I don't really like Adam's human design, I think it's a little too symmetrical and "perfect" (especially in the "big reveal" turnaround shot), but the whole "stare into his eyes" shot is meant to establish that Belle can tell that he's the same person she saw grow from a selfish brat into a respectful and selfless man. If he'd just been some handsome rando or a reset to pre-curse Adam, she wouldn't have kissed him.

When the transformation first happens, she's scared. She backs away because she doesn't recognize him. She reaches out to him, but draws her hand back because she doesn't know if that's her Adam. But then . . .

"It is you!"

That's the line that seals it. Belle wants the Adam she fell in love with, the Adam who struggled with spoons, the Adam who gave her a library, the Adam who worked to improve himself and let her take the lead.

She completely left his sphere of influence and came back on her own. If Belle didn't love Adam, she could've let Gaston's army kill him. If Adam didn't love Belle, he wouldn't have agreed so quickly to let her go care for Maurice when it clearly hurt him so much.

Belle doesn't love Adam because she was manipulated or because he turned handsome. She loves him because he grew into a better person who was her perfect partner and complement.

I will now get off my soapbox

[snailsnfriends]

i have a lot of problems with the whole "girl math," "girl dinner" and "girl [insert thing here]" trend, but I think one of my biggest gripes with it is how it focuses on the girl aspect, a term used for children. the "girl [thing]" trend centers helplessness (not knowing how to do certain things because you're a girl) and not completing a task to the fullest extent/being small about it (ex. not eating a complete dinner and calling it girl dinner). because "girl" is attached to it, it's about youth just as much as it's about gender, and I think it's such a horrible way to view young girls.

young girls are SO smart and capable. we tell them that being a girl means nothing in relation to what they're able to accomplish. we tell them that they can do anything if they set their mind to it. we tell them that being a girl is beautiful; it's something that makes them strong and unique. we have to reiterate these points to them because otherwise misogyny will win out and they'll be at risk of perceiving themselves poorly, leading to low self esteem and self worth.

so what kind of mindfuck is it for them to see that full grown adults, mostly women at that, perceive incapability as the equivalent to being a girl? that girls don't eat complete meals, that they can't do math, that they can't understand economics, world events, politics, science or just about anything that requires critical thought? that these things are for boys, that we should let men do all the work, that girls aren't meant to think or do just about anything for themselves?

it is such a disservice to young girls to perceive being a girl as this useless, Nothing state of being. we're showing them that being a girl means being weak and unaware. do you think that of every little girl you see? do you look at young girls, bright, beautiful, talented young girls, and see them as nothing but brainless amoebas? do you treat them that way? I really hope not. we are the adults in the room. girls look up to us, and there is nothing more painful to a child than an adult undermining them, which is exactly what happens when stereotypes are perpetuated through this "girl [thing]" trend.

you can't make being a girl, being a child, the same as every misogynistic stereotype that's ever existed. you're setting those girls up for failure. you're not seeing them, and they notice! because a little girl is fundamentally unlike what you think she is. do her (and yourself) a favor and view children as people capable of critical thinking, and capable of being affected by what you say and do, even if you don't say these things directly to them. I promise they see it.