#something wrong with the chemicals in my brain <3

[8n53]

developing tragic backstories for the comic relief character who gets his shoes stolen off of his own feet

[islenskihesturinn]

This is a picture from half a year ago, but it occurred to me yesterday while I was keeping Lilja’s head in place during her second treatment that these animals really have to trust us a hecking lot to just let us do these things to them.

She’s been drugged to stay calm and feel a bit less as her teeth get filed down from being like a staircase to nearly straight (it was bad, now it’s almost good). Machines that make loud noises and vibrate get put in her mouth and there’s weird smelling dust everywhere. Meanwhile her human is gently patting her hair and praising her for staying put, and half an hour later she’s back with Fjara and eating hay like nothing happened.

Same goes for the other 3 (namely Týra, Solita and Ieniemini), who just come walking up to you after all that, asking for a treat (and a brush bc it’s shedding season and they’re all itchy ladies).

I don’t really think about it often, but sometimes it’ll hit me how much they trust that we have their best interests at heart and they know this in their own way.

[keeps-ache]

i've realized recently that much of the expressiveness of my eyes was just me trying to see other people's expressions. so now when i make faces my eyes stay Wide Open loll

[sinsandsweetness]

hi my love <3

do you think you could do a rick grimes fluff where it’s an established relationship where he’s got a short fuse for everyone else but her and he’s super soft and gentle to her

or rick with a sleepy reader who he just lets fall asleep on his lap as he strokes her hair when he’s in the middle of discussing something important with someone else

ok I'm currently painting my toenails baby pink and got me thinking about rickyl with hyperfeminine!reader. (I know u said rick but this is what my brain said so...enjoy?)

It’s way too late but you can’t really help that you’re a night owl. And besides, the boys are still up, lights on in the living room, the two of them talking strategy for some hoard the group has been tracking for a few weeks. The conversation seems really important so you don’t want to interrupt but you also can’t see all that well since your glasses broke on that run last week and you’ve yet to find any new ones… so you were really hoping someone would help you out.

With your bottle of nail polish in hand, you stand in the doorway, fighting an internal battle of if you should go in or not. So in doubt, you hover, putting a few dishes away in the kitchen. Grabbing some water. Checking the fridge. All while the glass bottle of pink polish becomes warm in your hand. Bare feet padding against the cool hardwood as you finally decide to just go back to bed. The safety of the community is undoubtably more important than your damn toes.

“You alright, angel?” Ricks voice is soft as it travels to your spot on the stairs, swiveling around to see both men eyeing you down. Gaze travveling up your bare legs to your tiny little boy shorts and the oversized sweater with a stretched out collar and way too many holes in it.

“Mhm.” You quip, flashing a candy sweet smile.

“You’re pacin’. What’s up?” Daryl isn’t convinced as he looks you in the eyes, elbows leaned onto his knees. Still in his work clothes. Jacket, vest and jeans. Even his boots are still laced up.

“I just-" you look down at your bare toes. All prepped for paint, cut and filed and screaming at you to give them some colour. “Can one of you help me paint my toes?”

The way both of their faces soften at your answer gives you butterflies. They’re always way too worried. Too on edge. Especially when it comes to you. Wanting to protect you. Keep you safe and healthy and happy. So that’s why when they notice you pacing in the kitchen at half past midnight, they jump to their own little conclusions about what might be wrong. About what could possibly be going on in that beautiful mind of yours.

“C’mhere.” Rick pats a hand on the couch cushion next to him which you happily take. Practically skipping over and plopping down, ass on the cushion and feet in his lap.

He takes the bottle and gives it a little shake before continuing his conversation with Daryl, who doesn’t seem to be listening as attentively as he was before. With you laying on the couch, long legs sprawled out and a sleepy smile on your pretty face, you’ve become quite the distraction.

Ricks hands are warm as he holds your feet, carefully painting each nail, all while he stays talking. You hear snippets like, “- well if we do that, then they’ll just be headed for Oceanside. We need to find a route that makes sense for everyone, even if it means-” but you aren’t really listening. You’re more focused on making heart eyes with Daryl and playing with a loose string on the hem of your sweater. Eyes growing heavy with each coat of paint. The intoxicating, chemical smell that you've weirdly enough grown to love, fills the room and your feet tickle when rick blows cool air on them. Closing the bottle and popping it back into your hand while he leans back and asks Daryl something off topic about a run with Aaron. thumb running over your foot, hand traveling up your calf and gently massaging the muscle there. You sink even further into the couch, all warm and tired and cozier then ever. The combination of Ricks touch sending tingles up your spine, and the drawl of both their voices, act in accordance to lull you right to sleep.

You know that even if you do fall asleep here on the couch, it's no big deal. They'd carry you to bed in a heartbeat. They have before. So you let your eyes flutter shut under the comforting fact that you’re sure to wake up in clean, warm covers with a man on either side of you and two big arms wrapped around your waist.

[lilu-the-almighty]

I know we all think the blue is radiation. And that is an extremely strong theory and I will not be surprised at all if that is it. But idk it might be my science brain but I don't quite think that is right. Like sure radiation does some of the things mentioned in the story so far, but it mainly effects generationally (if it doesn't just kill you outright). And this whole "lightning" thing seems very strange if the answer is radiation. If it WAS radiation, I feel like Aabria would be leaning into it's effects on the kids?

And maybe she IS doing that. maybe that is what her plan is with Viola's kids. Cause if that is true oh boy guys that is going to FUCK ME UP.

And again this is DND, not a lab report, many of the effects of "the blue" very well may just be for storytelling purposes and I am the last person who is going to dog-pile anyone for stretching reality for a good story. Honestly that would be so cool if this is radiation and that is what she is doing.

But if you held a gun to my head at This Point, October 18 2023, right after I finished watching episode 3, I would say that it is not radiation. Or at the very least not JUST radiation. I think it is something different. I think this big laboratory(?) was a sight for some government experiment and the blue is something of its own. Some horrifying chemical weapon, or new way to harness radiation, or even something that effects stoats directly. Some experiment using stoats as test subjects that went horribly wrong.

Maybe THAT is why the guy in the hazmat suit was reaching specifically for Thorn. Maybe he was trying to clear any of the escaped stoats from the facility? Maybe they had orders to cull every stoat population in the area in hopes to stop the spread of whatever was on those test subjects? Maybe the test subjects are the stoats who are in the "human warren" now.

I am fully just stream of consciousness word vomiting right now, but this campaign is so fucking good. I am on the edge of my seat waiting for next Wednesday.

[notafunkiller]

Bucky & Yelena parallels

1) Yelena: There's something wrong with me.

[+ She says that she has found that the only reason for her to live is killing others]

//

Bucky: So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me.

+ I don't know if I'm worth all this, Steve.

2) Yelena: I was on the mission to retrieve it [the counteragent] and she exposed me and I killed the widow that freed me.

Natasha: Did you have a choice?

//

Bucky: He was murdered... by the Winter Soldier. And that was me.

Yori: Why?

Bucky: I didn't have a choice.

3) Natasha: Did you have a choice?

Yelena: What you experienced was psychological conditioning

I'm talking about chemically altering brain functions.

//

Steve: What you did all those years, it wasn't you. You didn't have a choice.

Bucky: I know... but I did it.

4) Yelena: You’re fully conscious, but you don’t know which part is you. I’m still not sure.

//

Bucky: I can't trust my own mind. So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head I think going back under is the best thing... for everybody.

5) Yelena: The point is, I've never... I've never had control over my own life before, and now I do. I want to do things.

//

Bucky: This isn't... This is new for me. I didn't have a moment to deal with anything, you know?

[nymph-ette111]

Hiiii, I really like your writing and style and I wanted to see if you could right eyeless jack x fem reader with really big scars from acid on her back (not self inflicted).

No need to rush and I hope you have a good day 😭🩷

WARNINGS; MENTIONS OF CHEMICAL AND FIRE BURNS, INACCURACIES BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESEARCH SHIT

AUTHOR'S NOTE; I just realized that I don't put warnings in any of my posts, oops... also the information online wasn't really useful for what I had in mind so I hope this is good enough :( anyways love you nonnie and I'm so happy you like my style and writing<3

-let me tell you this... Jack is the last person EVER to judge someone, physically at least.

-he relates to you on a certain level.

-both having your own body disfigured from the selfish hands of others, with no power to heal the damage that has been done.

-imagine the first time he saw your scars. whether it be changing your clothes in front of him or wearing something slightly revealing.

-he wouldn't have a reaction. why would he? Jack acknowledges the fact that everyone wants their privacy to be respected. he wouldn't straight up throw thousands of questions at you; who did this, how did it happen, when did it happen, no. he'd be extremely respectful. if you didn't bring up the topic why should he? last thing he wants to do is make you uncomfortable or trigger any bad memories.

-but don't get me wrong... he might be a little curious about the cause of the injury... what type of burn is it?

-he'd put two and two together just from observing the looks of it and come to the conclusion that it's infact, a chemical burn.

-it's just that polymathic ( did I use that correctly) side of his brain that pushes him to think such thoughts. he intends no harm. it's up to you if you want tell him any further than that.

-if you do, he'd gladly do even more research on his own.

-he just loves to learn these types of things and how it affects the human body and stuff :3 even if it's outside of his profession and field of study.

-if you end up running out of any creams or ointments there's a pretty big chance he has it in that makeshift pharmacy of his; basically a cabinet full of different types of medicine and such.

^I'm not very sure if you have to use any creams to prevent irritation or anything like that for acid burn scars, the internet isn't being very helpful for me :(

-whether you're confident and very much over the damage or insecure of it. it doesn't matter how you view your scars, because he'll always find himself admiring it from time to time. it's just a part of you that he loves.

-will not tolerate any nasty stares or unnecessary comments directed towards you.

-if you're comfortable with it, you'd often feel Jack's rough hands gently caressing your back late at night whenever you two are sharing the bed <3

[thexie-and-stars]

Intro!

@xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx, @tazmaboxed

I acknowledge the Traditional Owners and Custodians of this country. In particular, I acknowledge the Indigenous Elders of the Wurundjeri people, part of the Kulin nation, where I live and learn and pay my respects to their Indigenous Elders past, present and emerging. Sovereignty has never been ceded. It always was and always will be, Aboriginal land. [credits to @elliewasaghost for the template]

FUCK JKR. TERFS, SWERFS AND FARTS CAN GO DIE

THIS USER HAS INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, PLEASE BE MINDFUL

I do not support Neil Gaiman, Always support the victims.

JOIN THIS: GAY DISCORD

IT'S GAY

I do vent posts a lot. If i'm actually in crisis it will be either untagged or tagged with #crisis. if not, please disregard because im just dealing with shit.

I will make moodboards on request SEND ASKS

WILL ALSO GIVE ADVICE

I edit wikipedia and fandom pages, lemme know if there's something wrong on a page and i'll take a look!

I run a tumblr community about special intrests and hyperfixations. If you want to join, DM me or send an ask!

HALLOWEEN SECRET SKETELONS The theme on my website/tumblr page is not mine, I customized it. the credits are on the website.

art blog: @theo-th3-trans-art-b01

emergency ray toro bc i am mentaly silliy

reasons not to kill yourself: Link :3

RIP @venomvolts-deactivated20240803 I hope you re-join tumblr someday, you will be remembered

@xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx

I realised I haven't done one of these so: Name: Theo

Nicknames: Thexie, Thex, Bean

Attraction shit: Bi oriented Aro/Ace.

I don't feel like a human, i feel like a silver fox w antlers. If u don't fw that, DNI

Pronouns: He, It, Rot, Vamp, [Ask as my prefernce changes daily, full list of prns on my pronouns page, go to the bottom of the post] Gender: Boyflux Transmasc. I don't feel human

Demi-verbal and silly :3

Tags i use:

#me and my posts, theo posting, beans posts : my own posts

#my starry angel: interacting w my best friend @a-perfect-imitation

#bean answers an ask: asks

#i can feel a ghostly prescence: interacting w @elliewasaghost [not used much but holy shit it's a great tag name]

#the lurker's here: @touch-starved-lurker

#my chappel town and chemical cave: music tag, mainly my own lyrics, poems, talking about my instruments and occasional songs/covers.

#bean's brain: anything about the stuff listed in my TW area.

anything to do with bean/theo: read the other bit of the tag

Triggers: Human balls, anything to do w gen alpha lingo, jokes about rape, talking about sexual assault. General: I am Irish-Australian and I fence. I have a dog and two cats! I am fine for people to send asks or dm me! I do swear a lot but I don't post nsfw. I do sometimes reblog text hornyposts. nothing too severe. I AM a minor so please be mindful. I love fencing. I have severe light sensitivity and I faint sometimes. I love it when people send me asks! You can also dm me. I will give out my discord on request. I am polyamorous

Disabilities/chronic illnesses: AuDHD, POTS, Deppression, Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Food Anxiety, possibily BPD [undiagnosed as of now], Chronic pain, Long covid, Demi-verbal, Dissociation, Special interests in order of most prominent:GRAVITY FALLS, MCR, Art, Weirdcore, welcome to nightvale, Cryptids, Neurodivergence, Dead Boy Detectives, Dead End Paranormal Park, Stardew Valley, The Osemanverse

Current Hyperfocus: gravity falls, drawing tv heads and weirdcore

Fandoms: Dead Boy detectives, Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, The Osemanverse, dead end paranormal park, Nimona, stardew valley, MCR, witherburn afterschool news, GRAVITY FALLS

Likes: Cryptids, Books, My laptop, My friends, Watercolours, Drawing, Eating raw onions, Art, Mushrooms

Dislikes: Jam and butter together, Nausea, bad textures, the popular girls

Music i like: Bitch and animal, MCR, Cavetown, MotherMother, 6arelyhuman, girlinred, chappel roan [i'm gay, what do you expect].

My spotify playlist: Anxiety Prime by Theo The Mothman. I also have a smaller playlist for myself.

if my ex Alex sees this the one who got run over by a car at K-Mart, DNI GO AWAY Trivia: I love Theo's Ghost, mcr, I play the clarinet, guitar and drums and i'm making a demolition lovers cosplay!

Trigger warnings for things i might post: self harm, mental illness, suicide, family stuff [my mum's abusive], unreality [welcome to nightvale and dissociation],

dni: general dni criteria, MAPs, paraphiles, nazis, assholes, bigots, republicans, porn bots. if you piss me off, i will block you

Mobility Aids I have: cane, crutches, wrist splints, back brace

Meds I take: ADHD meds, Salt Tablets, Melotonin

@frogofalltime is my dad :D

USERBOXES AND LINKS DOWN BELOW \/

credits going left to right, from top left!

@xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx, @system-box

@lgbtq-userboxes, @lgbtq-userboxes,

@sweetpeauserboxes, @burntoutuserboxes

@burntoutuserboxes, @xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx,

@esotericalqueer, @esotericalqueer

@xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx, @cardboard-userboxes

@arcanecollective, @decemberblue

@another-userbox-blog, @sweetpeauserboxes,

@puppyuserboxes, @xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx

@alterhuman-userboxes, @whats-a-human

@xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx, @burntoutuserboxes

@esotericalqueer

@totallypumpkin, @frogsforthefrogwar

LINKS \/

pronouns page

posts I wanna keep

DAYS CLEAN: 131 [FUCKING WHAT]

haha idk if i'm gonna make it to graduation

tw for that btw

[red-umbrella-811]

Okay, so I wrote this on reddit to a depression doomer, but I want someone who might have an iota of openness to considering it to read it, so I'm posting it here. I assume there will be doomers here too, because depression is depressing. All of these things are things that I've tried, and all of them are things that have made my life better than it was before. All of them I have started in an incredibly janky way and they've still helped. If anyone is interested (or I receive the same combination of depression-based hostility and intense focus), I'll make separate posts on how to actually do the thing.

Things that might make a person's depression improve that don't involved going to a therapist:

Aerobic exercise 4x/week

Membership in a community/close relationships/human touch/human interaction. I'm bundling these together, because in a practical sense, you're making about the same decisions yourself, and the interactions with other people will follow. I recommend finding a "Third Place," such as a sports league or dance community (see exercise), game/knitting/metaphysical store, bar, cafe, meetup group, adult learning class, regular volunteering gig, music venue, RPG group, book club, brunch group...you get the idea. The best ones are open to the public if you're socially isolated or looking to date, because you'll meet a greater variety of people, but anywhere where the same amorphous or literal group of people shows up at a place and time will help you build relationships.

Omega 3 Fatty acids, Vitamin D, Vitamin B-complex, Magnesium: I'm not a doctor and this is not medical advice. They might give you energy and run your body more smoothly.

St. John's Wort: I'm giving this its own thing because the above are supplements that the body gets in its diet, this is a drug™, but you can purchase it over the counter. It inhibits the reuptake of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, for which there is some evidence that it helps depression on a chemical level. It has mad drug interactions and PLEASE do your research before taking it.

A lot of things in the cognitive behavioral therapy realm. Gratitude practices, affirmations, I'm sure there are CBT workbooks for depression that one could find. The idea is to reframe your thoughts to make sure they are a) true and b) priming you to feel emotions and take actions that will make your life suck less.

Going outside. Living in a suboptimal space is depressing, and so many of us do it. We do better when we see and hear trees. We do better when we see and feel the sun. We process things when our brains run electricity back and forth between the two sides, as happens when walking (drumming is also good for this, or bilateral stimulation from something else).

Accomplish things. I know. This, even more than the many difficult things I've listed, probably feels impossible, but I'm writing it anyway, because it really does help. If you have small tasks you've been putting off, try and get one done. Break up big tasks into accomplishable steps. Not like "Clean the house" to "Clean the bathroom," like "Clean the house" to "throw all the trash on the couch in the trash can" or "get out all the products to clean the bathroom" (the second kind doesn't vibe with me but some people like it)

You'll notice none of this is going to fix the world, except for the shitty little corner the person doing it is sitting in. That's the point. There is so much wrong with the world, and it asks a lot of us to fix it: our labor, yes, and also our joy. And also, our ability to get out of bed in the morning, our ability to send emails, our ability to check in on each other, our ability to keep ourselves out of entanglements with the state and other institutions. I'm not saying this because it's fair, I'm saying it because it's the way out I see in front of us.

[romanticfistfightz]

destiel playlist !!! + song explanations . @smashstiel <3

downhill - lincoln

gonna be honest here i added it because in one episode sam said something similar to the lyrics and then it just evolved to be a destiel playlist even though uh

2. goodbye optimism - pedals on our pirate ships

honestly no clue but its a greaat song

3. i fought the law - dead kennedys

not even gonna show the lyrics bc its just an extremely dean song to me

4. instability - dragged under

5. cosmic meltdown - king mothership

:)) demon deal moment basically

6. youre wrong & im drunk - next attempt

another dean not destiel one bc that was still before i fully embraced it being a destiel one so its mostly dean now

7. ive been dead all day - bayside

and other stuff about god . so it had to be here sorry these explanations are shit i hope you get it

8. my darling dopaine - days n daze

THE song ever one of them at least .

dean with his thing about sacrificing himself ig!!!

9. alcohol and altar boys - bayside

kinda with the god thats wrong but imagine thats before dean knew for a Fact that god existed

10. wait - the dear hunter

INSANE good song. s1/early s2 dean. to me<3

11. ghost - the academy is...

god i love tai... so much william beckett love of my life i love tai

12. ive got all this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers - fall out boy

FALL OUT BOY CHEER AND CLAP FOR FALL OUT BOY!!!! theres a lot of fob here i love them sooo much holy shit

^ dean when he goes to sacrifice himself again

castiel when he was working with crowley maybe i cant remember what exactly happened there

13. killed by an angel - sunny day real estate

come onnn

14. how to slowly be replaced by pixels - happyhappy

brooooooo!!!! and also abt moving around with john and stuff theres an image limit but youll understand

15. let us burn one - chiodos

im gonna be honest i was really into chiodos then and it has a lyric about taking a soul away so it automatically went here

16. blood on my hands - the used

i love the used and i needed it here and also it makes sense but im not sure how to explain it. welcomee to my brain

17. heaven, iowa - fall out boy

i love fall out boy:) star crossed lovers forever :))

18. heaven's gate - fall out boy

yay ^_^

19. church hymn for the condemned - johnny hobo and the freight trains

the entire song but

20. 7 minutes in heaven (atavan halen) - fall out boy

bc i love fob and also bc dean as we all know does Great on his own

21. just one yesterday - fall out boy

22. love from the other side - fall out boy

23. would you be impressed? - streetlight manifesto

there waas a destiel thing here but since then i got into dbda and its such a dbda song to me now i cant remmeber why its here and cant even in theory say why by looking at the lyrics cuz its dbda

24. the sharpest lives - my chemical romance

mcr there has to be mcr. also

25. on the cross - the used

26. sold my soul - the used

27. sky on fire - sarah and the safe word

thats here because excuse me what is this . you cant convince me its a coincidence

[princessisfinethx]

Invisible Man x Reader pt. 3

I'm tired, I'm a little drunk. I finished my first year of college. And I'm hungry. I'm sorry t took so long.

Warnings: mentions of poison, mentions of suicide by drinking (nothing serious) slight mention of past abuse (you'd have to squint), some drinking, male masturbation, mentions of sex.

Minors DNI, everyone else, enjoy :)

~~~Read under the cut~~~

You turned on your side and kept your eyes closed. Breathe in, breathe out. Again. Then you sigh. You weren’t able to sleep, and being in an unfamiliar old room wasn’t helping. Griffin wasn’t wrong when he said the room hadn’t been used in years. You could see dust particles floating about the moment he opened the door. It was an old bedroom, with a dresser, a vanity, and a large bed. All covered in dust. You made a face when he first showed it to you. Not wanting to seem ungrateful, you grabbed a duster and a broom. It was 11 o’clock at night when you finished cleaning, but you were satisfied.

After Griffin brought you some of his clothes to sleep in, you thanked him and wished him a good night. He did the same and retreated into his bedroom. You got dressed, giggling at yourself for wearing even more men’s clothes, then got into the dust-free bed. The blankets were cool and fluffy, and the extra pillows on the bed made you feel as if you were lying upon the clouds. So, you lay there, staring up at the ceiling. Your fingers twisted at the fabric on your chest, and you inhaled to sigh but paused. Your eyes scan the shirt; then slowly, you lift it to your nose. You take a small sniff, and your nostrils are greeted with the faint scent of soapy sage wood and musk.

You blink, feeling how hot your face became. You sniff again, then let go of the shirt quickly; the fabric settles on your chest. How perverted you must seem right now! You close your eyes and frown as guilt begins to worm its way into your chest. Guilt for taking Griffin’s clothes, his room (even though he said he’s never used it), and guilt for leaving your fiancé all alone to cook and clean for himself. You open your eyes again and stare up. No, you knew it wasn’t guilt that made you think of your fiancé. It was fear, but you wished it was guilt. You silently wished that you could play the role of a good wife, like he said earlier. Your mother would have scolded you, should she be living in the same town. But your father? You smile softly, knowing he would probably knock the teeth out of your fiancé for ever hurting you.

You missed your parents terribly You knew moving to a larger city would be a challenge, especially for a single woman with no great status. You met with Johnathan, the son of your mother’s friend. He offered you a residence and food if you married him. And, of course, that sounded like a dream come true! And John was sweet, most of the time. But it didn’t sit right with you. Staying in that house and doing nothing all day except clean and cook and occasionally birth a child. You frowned again, looking away from the ceiling.

Then you met Griffin. The albino man who works with chemicals, solutions, poisons, and antidotes. He didn’t see you as a future housewife or mother, he saw you as an extra pair of hands that could be taught. You remember when you asked him why he allowed you to work with him. He looked over at you, still visible at the time. He had handsome features when his face wasn’t scrunched up in annoyance. Even despite his pale nature, he was beautiful. “You’re a capable human being with the same brain as a man. It’s ridiculous that some must be antagonized because of one’s gender. Women have gone to war, and hunted, why should I care…” He looked away and hummed. “You’re smarter than most men and women I’ve met anyway, I think that earns you a place as my research assistant, wouldn’t you agree?”

A smile graces your lips as you recall the memory. He’s been nothing but kind to you. He hasn’t yelled at you for breaking a vile, or sneered at you for cooking something he didn’t like. Though it’s rare to receive praise from the man, but you didn’t mind. He would speak up about something he didn’t like. One time you cooked a beef stew when it was cold out, and he ate two bowls worth. He left all the carrots inside the bowl however, then admitted that he hated carrots. So, you don’t cook with them anymore. Another time, you were cleaning the inside of a beaker, and he suggested a different way of cleaning and drying them, so your fingerprints didn’t stain the glass.

You sit up slowly and throw the blankets from your body. You decided you would go and drink a glass of water, hoping somehow that would help you sleep. Carefully you move across the floor and towards the door. Once you open it and peek outside, you spot Griffin’s door already open. You look towards the stairs, and you spot a faint light flickering below. Being careful not to make a sound, you head for the stairs and make your way down. In the lab, the light was brighter. A candle was lit and sitting on the counter, around the way was a headless and handless body. You watched for a moment as he moved, and you could notice when he turned his head by the way the collar of his shirt would bend.

You cross your arms and stand at the entranceway of the lab. “Griffin.” Your voice was soft but it didn’t stop him from jumping in surprise. His body turned towards you and he set down a book he was looking over. “I see you can’t sleep either.”

“Apologies if I disturbed your sleep.” He stretched his back then looked down at his desk. “I’ve discovered I can’t sleep without a blind on; my eyelids are invisible, so I see right through them. I’ve also discovered I don’t quite like sleeping with a blind on.” He sighed in annoyance. You took a seat across from him at the table.

“You didn’t disturb me. I suppose I couldn’t sleep with so many thoughts in my head. Worrying thoughts.” You look at the shirt, then let your eyes wander up to look at the invisible mass, where you know a pair of eyes are studying you. “I thought maybe a glass of water might help.”

A short ‘hmph’ sounded from his throat and he stood up. “I’ll join you. You know what they say really helps you to sleep? A glass of whiskey.” He walks to the kitchen with his candlestick leading the way. A smile forms on your lips and you tilt your head.

“You have whiskey? I didn’t know you indulged in that type of alcohol.” You follow him into the kitchen as you hear him mutter.

“I own one bottle of whiskey, a gift from an old friend. However, I also own a bottle of wine, also a gift. I only indulge when I think I’ve deserved some.” He opens a cabinet and takes out a beautiful-looking bottle of whiskey. “Or for a special occasion. Both don’t happen often.” He looks over the bottle, then looks at you. “Care for a taste?”

Your nose scrunched and you gave a nervous smile. “I’ve heard terrible things about whiskey. Like how disgusting it is…and how violent people become…” Your smile falters, and he notices. His thoughts carry to your fiancé’s drinking habits.

“I can assure you that it’s not the alcohol that makes you violent, it’s the person that acts upon it themselves.” He looks over the whiskey and then at you. “And I promise that one drink will not get you drunk.”

You weigh over the idea, knowing you’ve never had whiskey before but have heard a lot about it. “All right, I’ll try a little bit.” Griffin takes out two glasses and sets them down. He opens the whiskey, and you realize he’s never opened it before tonight. As he’s pouring, you ask, “Whiskey is a Scottish drink, correct?”

“Correct.” He closes the alcohol and puts it away. “The man that gifted it to me, traveled to Scotland himself and picked this up at a shop. He told me Scott’s drink as if the world is ending tomorrow.” As he handed you the glass of alcohol, he hummed and mumbled. “He warned me this stuff was strong.” He raises his glass, and you stare at him. He then reaches over to grab your hand holding your own glass, lifting it up as well, before tapping his glass against yours. “Cheers. Now you say cheers as well.”

A little laugh bubbles out of your throat and you grin. “Cheers.” You tap your glass against his and then watch as Griffin drinks his whiskey. The alcohol runs down his throat and you watch it disappear within his shirt. You then do the same, taking a drink of your whiskey as if it were water. A big mistake. You cough and cover your mouth, shaking your head. “Oh God what is that?” You could feel the whiskey literally burning your nose and throat. And somehow, it felt hot as it slid down.

You hear a mixture of coughing and laughter from across you. Griffin was covering his mouth with his sleeve, and he was doubled over. “I’m sorry, I guess I should have warned you…”

“It burns, is that normal?” You cough again and head to the sink for some water. “Am I allergic to this?”

Griffin chuckled again, a deep sound that you weren’t familiar with. You weren’t sure if it was the whiskey or him that sent goosebumps up your back. “That’s normal. I should have explained it better to you.” He finished the rest of his drink while you drank water from your cupped hand.

“How do people enjoy this? It tastes like poison, literal burning poison. At least I imagine that’s what it tastes like.” You turn the sink off and glare down at the cup of whiskey still sitting in your cup.

“It is poison. And many choose to drink it for different reasons. To get drunk, or to relax, to get tired. Or to slowly kill themselves. A bottle at a time.” He walks to the sink and places the cup down. “You don’t have to finish it if you don’t want to. But a tip for drinking any alcohol, except wine, is to drink it fast. Let it run straight down the throat. Wine is for flavor, this is not.”

You take in his words carefully. Licking your lips, you take the glass in your hands, quickly throw the drink back, and attempt to ‘let it run straight down.’ It does, however, still burn going down. And once again, it warms your throat and chest as you swallow it. You let out another cough and push the drink away once again. “I’m done…” You coughed again but Griffin could see a little smile on your face.  

            He took both glasses and set them down in the sink. You turn to try washing them, but Griffin stops you with a hand on your back. “No need for that tonight. Go back to bed and try getting some sleep.”

            You frown and stare at the clothes that float before you. “I’ll try, but…I’m still worried.”

            “About what?” He questions you, still standing beside you with his hand resting on your lower back.

            You sigh softly. “Well…what if we can’t find a cure for you? You’ll just be invisible forever? And what about my fiancé? What if he comes in the morning with the police, o-or he tries breaking in?”

            “There’s a cure for everything, even if we haven’t found it yet. It will take some time, is all. And I have plenty of time. As for your fiancé, I’m sure he’s fallen asleep in some drunken stupor…if he tries breaking in, I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry.” You failed to notice the change in his voice when he admits this.

            You nod slowly, your eyes staring down at his shirt. His words helped only a little, and he seems to realize this. “It all feels like a massive burden on you, Griffin.”

            Warm, gentle hands touched your chin, lifting your face up so you looked up at the nothing that sat upon his shoulders. Once he had your eyes, he took your hands in his. “You’ve called yourself a burden twice now. I’ll not allow it a third time. You’ve done more good for me in this house than I’ve done for myself in years. I want no more talk of this, understand?” When you nod, he hums, and you think he nods back. “Good. Scientists like you and I shouldn’t doubt or worry. It’s not good for the brain.”

            A smile grows on your lips, and you tilt your head. “I’m a scientist now?”

            Griffin was quiet as he thought over his words, then he cleared his throat. “No, not yet. I could give you a test to see if you’re smart enough to be one. Not that you’d fail, I should have taught you everything I know by now.” He started mumbling. “Have I taught you everything? Perhaps I should have taken note…” His fingers were rubbing your hand, and you held back a giggle. You felt lighter and giddy. A little dizzy.

            “I’ll take any test you give me.” You grin. “I want to be a scientist.”

            “I can have that arranged.” He pauses before quickly letting go of your hands. He clears his throat once again. “You should go to bed now, I’m sure the alcohol is calming your system.”

            You give a small nod before walking to the stairs. You turn your head to the kitchen and smile softly. “Goodnight Griffin.” With that, you carefully climb the stairs and smile to yourself, finding the task to be funnier than it should be. And once you hit the bed, your mind seems to swim in bliss that wasn’t there before. Butterflies in your stomach and a head stuck in the clouds, it seemed. You think briefly that this was, in fact, the alcohol. Then you remember Griffin’s words and how he was holding your hand, and you let out another giggle followed by a yawn. Lulling you to sleep was the faint scent of his shirt, and when you finally slept, it felt like your body and mind were able to rest for the first time in forever.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

            He watches you leave the kitchen, knowing now that you were tipsy from one drink. It was too much, and he knew it; shame on you for almost wasting the small woman, he scolded himself. Once you are back in your room, he walks slowly to the lab and pauses. His mind kept wandering back to you. Your chin in his hand, how you looked up at him when there was nothing there. The soft touch of your hands in his. An invisible hand runs through invisible hair while Griffin lets out a deep sigh. What was happening to him? He was drunk, that’s the only logical answer. And with that logical answer, he knew he should go to his room and sleep.

            He walks upstairs, his eyes glancing at the door of your room. He walks inside his own room and shuts the door. Walking to bed, his mind wanders to his work, about his invisibility tests and blood samples. He’s yet to do a semen sample. His mind wanders for a moment, asking himself if it was appropriate to do such a thing after what just occurred. A grunt leaves his throat, and he gets up to find a clear test pallet. After laying down on the bed, he adjusts himself, imagining anything to arouse him. Using the long sleeve of his shirt, he covers his eyes to better imagine. He’s never had sex, but he’s witnessed it before, as well as read about it in a book that generously came with pictures. His pants become tighter, and he lets out a deep breath, palming himself.

            Griffin has done this before, plenty of times. He has needs like everyone else. But he usually never has the time to do so. He’ll imagine the photos from the books, combined with the sounds he’s heard from the couple that decided to fuck in the middle of a bar. His hand takes out his cock, slowly stroking it while his imagination played out. You appear in his head (almost immediately) and his hand slows to a stop, but he feels a shiver of delight run down his spine. This is sick, he thought to himself. You smiled at him, your legs straddling his hips while wearing his clothes. And then you had no pants on, sitting against his length bare. A shaky breath leaves his lips, and his grip tightens for a second.

            You said his name, in that soft voice you use on him. It drives him wild. How dare you use something so simple to enrapture him like this? His hand strokes faster as he imagines your eyes, staring up at him. When he lifted your chin, you’d look at him, and how your lips parted when you did. He groans and bites his lip. He imagines where he would take you. In his bed, of course. To have you lay down against his bed sheets, looking up at him with soft eyes, caused a moan to escape his throat. He wanted you in his tub as well, water be damned. He wanted to make a mess. Having you on top of him, riding his length while water splashed out of the sides. And he couldn’t begin to imagine the beautiful noises you’d make for him.

            His back arched and he groaned as he came, his hips bucking into his hand while his head tilted back in pleasure. He spilled across himself, panting as he tried calming down. He realized his first mistake; he didn’t use the damn pallet. His sample was all over his chest. His next mistake was the thoughts he just used to pleasure himself. You.

How perverted he must seem right now, he thought regrettably.

[fire-but-ashes-too]

get to know my oc!

thank you so so so much @flock-from-the-void for the tag <3

im so excited to do this, finally all the unnecessary traits I gave her will be useddd so so happy

gently tagging: @leisoree @rmgrey-author @digital-chance @maewrites13 @briannaswords @tea-and-mercury @anonymousfoz and anyone else who'd like to join :)

this is my forever beloved (and one of my first ocs that managed to not get tossed away) Giada from Flowers and Homicide (before it was murderous roses)

As I step in the lab, a rotting smell fills my nostrils. I'm seriously tempted to drop this crazy interview and go back home, but then I think of my boss.

And so I keep on walking through hell, knowing that the previously cited boss's rage would be even worse.

There's some guy cleaning a syringe near what I presume is a corpse (don't vomit, don't vomit, dont' vomit) and so I approach him and ask him if he knows where a girl named Giada could be.

After a couple seconds, he sends me off in direction of a room with glass panels, through them I catch sight of a dark, curly mass of hair and knock on the door.

"Hello, are you by any chance Giada?" the foreign name is still new on my tongue, I hope I didn't pronounce it wrong.

"Yes, that's me! What can I help you with?" she answers smiling brightly at me.

"I'm from Tumblr-News," I explain "I was hoping you'd have time for a couple of questions..."

"Oh! Sure! I'm on my break right now, so we have a good 20 minutes for talking"

Are you named after anyone?

Huh, interesting question. No, I wasn't named after a person, but an object. A gemstone. See, my family's half Italian and Giada, in Italian, means jade, also my grandmother's favourite stone.

I think she said something about a ring and a proposal.... doesn't matter though.

When was the last time you cried?

Ha haa... Is this really necessary? Yeah? Ok..Yesterday. I just'd just gotten my period and ice cream fell on my shirt. Don't judge, it makes me really emotional.

The period. Not the ice-cream.

Do you have kids?

Do I really look that old? Damn. And no, I don't have kids and don't plan on them.

Do you use sarcasm?

I believe sarcasm should be a love language. Yes I do, anytime I can, I love it, it's half of my personality.

What's the first thing you notice about people?

Well, I'm a med student, so probably the overall appereance, if they're sleeping enough, if they're eating enough, stuff like that.

Also if they look like a murderer. Or like a person who killed someone.

Guilty, in general.

What's your eye colour?

They're jade, like my name. Just kidding, I'd love to have green eyes but I don't have them.

She leans closer to me and opens her eyes more than I thought was humanly possible.

I don't know if you can see through the glasses, but there is a bit of mud green in the brown, so technically my eyes are a bit green.

Mostly brown though.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I'm literally standing in a lab full of cadavers. What do you think?

Any special talents?

Oh oh I know this! I can lick my nose! Want to see?

she brings her tongue to her nose and makes a muffled scream while pointing to it.

I also have an apparently worrying knowledge about poisons and death, but I'm studying forensic, can you blame me?

Where were you born?

In an hospital? Duh. It was in San Francisco if you care to know.

What are your hobbies?

I've already said poisons but I'll say it again, they are super interesting, did you know we exist just because some ancient monkeys got high? many times, and those chemicals extended their brain cells and so they got smarter. It's amazing!

I also love magic, I've thought about joining a cult or something, but those people are mad. Worse than me. I've been to a session, and they were all dressed up strange, candles everywhere, there was the star on the ground, you know that star in the circle? That one.

But I firmly believe in faeries, coincidences do not exist, it's them meddling with our lives. You can't change my mind.

Do you have any pets?

I've always wanted a lizard or something like that, maybe a snake even if I'm low-key scared of them. They're absolutely stunning, but what if one bites me? They are super venomous.

But when I was little I had a goldfish, his name was Alastair, it was my favourite character from a book, can't remember which. It died after month.

It's buried in my parents' backyard. Poor little thing.

Any sport that you play/played?

I think you can tell that I'm not the sportiest person ever, but I was on the track team.

I absolutely sucked, but I was in it.

Oh and in winter I always went skiing with my family so also that.

How tall are you?

I'm 5.3 and I hate it. At least I can wear heels. But I usually don't cause they hurt my feet, apart from a pair of boots, those are my salvation. Sometimes I even wear them here, not today tho.. sorry I'm blabbering.

What's your favourite subject?

Oh, it's the first year I'm taking it but it's super interesting, it's called anesteti- anast- anesthesiology... Yeah anesthesiology. Hate the name love the subject. I think I like it because most anesthetics are also poisons.

But yeah, right now it's my favourite subject.

And finally, what's your dream job?

Coroner. Or working in the forensic squad.

Right now I'm in an internship, but if it goes well they might keep me around even next year.

"And that's it, thank you so much or answering, I'll leave you to... whatever you'll be doing" I smile uncomfortably and hug her quickly.

"Just in time, by break's over so I better get working"

She sets down her cup and shrugs on a white lab coat, quickly waves at me and just like that she's gone.

I walk as fast as I can, anxious to get rid of this disgusting smell.

[cozy-possum]

i just have to say that i love your grisha headcanons, especially the one about different types of grisha + body horror <3 do you have any more headcanons or ideas like that?? i'd love to hear them! it's such an underutilised idea around powered beings!!!

AA thank you!!! I was surprised more people haven't though about it!

Support My Writing?

OG Post (Here)

I have a couple other ideas;

Heartrenders controlling a volcra (Here)

Volcra kill because they remember the want (Here read tags as well)

Specifically with the body horror aspect I would love to see it more casually brought up, I know I went extreme in the original post( and ended up going extreme here too)

Tailors who's skin is warm and soft always, their beauty a little too blinding, they never keep a steady appearance as they appeal to what the viewer wants most, in order to gain their trust. Sometimes that backfires, someone wants to see scars, or fangs, or a monster, and what Grisha to better satisfy that then one that can be what they need. They can make wounds or hide them, they can create scars, they can give someone who wants to hurt, to see others hurting what they want and no one has to suffer, do they?

Squallers who offer comfort through the constant feeling of a warm breeze surrounding someone, the soft sound of wind through chimes or leaves. They can control music just as much, crafting songs and sounds from instruments that never existed in the first place. They become sirens, pulling people in, deafening them with sounds before they even realize they can't hear beyond the wind whistling in their ears.

Tidemakers who's body's move fluidly, their ability to dance, their flexibility is unmatched, they move like water and most feel refreshed after they talk to them. They can bend and twist their bodies so easy, it's muscle memory to show others, to force the bones to bend and break under the pressure from them and their water. Some spend too much time with it, they become similar to a deep sea creature, unblinking and adapted in ways others could never live with.

Inferni who are always the perfect temperature, who can keep a group calm, lowing their body temperatures so they're forced to settle, they can take heat as easily as they can bestow it. The can keep the others comforted, complacent on missions with only each other for comfort; heat fills the space, heat can be the phantom memories of those gone. If there is a death on the field, often an Inferni will keep the bodies warm, to not spook others. They mimic the body heat of someone next to you, a phantom partner or lover in all the wrong ways.

Heartrenders who can manipulate the chemicals and neurotransmitters in a persons brain, even if they don't know what they're doing, people always feeling happier around them, feeling calm, feeling safe. Too much of a good thing is equal to bad. They become addicted like anything else, they become desperate, even the heartrender cannot control it, and often they succumb to those they subdued if not kept safely away from others, or if they use their powers sparingly.

Fabirkators that can breathe life into inanimate things. They create toys, things to comfort young Grisha, to comfort anyone who has lost something. If they focus, if they bargain and find help in other grisha, they can bring a loved one back for a moment, they can twist and warp the corpses before burial, to give comfort to those grieving, to take from those already dead. They often forget, creating things from nothing can lead to viewing everything as a tool. How can things be combined, how can they be taken apart. Fabrikators who pull at flesh a little too easily, after all it's only components, and those that volunteer, well they never have a reason to fear their friend who made their teddy bears dance when they were scared.

Amplifiers that find themselves connected to Grisha in ways they cannot explain. They can sense pain, fear, happiness, they can sometimes sense before the Grisha know themsevles, the whispers of power from under small fingers. They push too much into some, exhausting their power when they pull back, leaving material for the Fabrikators to take apart. Whispers of Grisha killing their own is what the Amplifiers bring. They find the ability to comfort, showing Grisha that their powers are not to be feared, that they can stop too much power leaking out. Small hands reaching for them, crying out for parents who cannot stay, the amplifiers find themselves drowning in both grisha power and human emotions no heartrender can hope to break the bond of.

Sun Summoners, Lightbringers, who always shine. They excel in anything they try, learning, power control, it comes easy to them because praise, love is light. Grisha find themselves blinded, the way sunlight is too warm, the way light trickles into the cracks. Even those that hate find themselves warmed and drawn into the light, moths to a flame. They can blind as easily as they comfort, creating blisters and welts, sunburns and heatstroke, photosensitivity can burn into someone's eyes and brain and leaving them with a body that jerks beyond their command.

Shadow Summoners, Shadowbringers, that keep those that are forgotten. They pull those that are lesser, Grisha who can't keep up with the training, grisha who's powers do not follow the strict pathways they army wants. They take those that slip through the cracks. They spends hours training in pitch black until themselves and the grisha no longer need their sight to kill. They use the shadows to move around, creating shapes and monsters, creatures and enemies not only to scare but to protect each other. They take the absence of light and create the world within it. They plunge anyone who goes against them in the lack of, sensory deprivation at it's strongest. They either slowly let the senses come back or flood them with the removal of shadow all at once, neither are survivable

Support My Writing?

[gravesung]

▲ lounging in the living room go ( to orion <3 )

send ▲ to pull my muse into your muse’s lap! ACCEPTING.

SHOUTA HAS NEVER BEEN EASY TO READ. couple that with orion being chemically terrible at reading people and you have a crush that never quite progresses beyond agonizing pining. in this case, it's a crush that has lasted for years, so many years that it's worn a groove in him. even now, lounging with shouta on the couch, orion's heartbeat flutters just the same as it did when they were in high school. he still loses the ability to speak when shou compliments him, and he still feels himself melt like a burning candle under the attention of those eyes.

something is different tonight. it starts with a conversation, a shared snack bowl, orion doodling in his sketchbook while they watch a show together. orion finds his eye wandering: the stubble, the knife-sharp line of his jaw, the wild hair, the corners of his mouth. all traits that have graced the pages of orion's sketchbooks and easels many, many more times than he'd be comfortable sharing.

it's when orion returns from the kitchen now, fresh off of chugging a glass of water (after, yes, forgetting for most of the day again.) that their called-from-another-room conversation falls into a lull of silence. a long look. in the silence, in the stare, shouta leans forward and takes orion's long and pallid hand in his.

even that small touch is enough to turn off every single thought in his brain. gone. a white screen, 404 error. is — ? is? at first he's not fully sure of the intent: there's a tug at his hand, down and toward. closer, it says, and he obeys wordlessly, every nerve in his body alight as he follows the other's gentle guiding until his long, spidery body is folded in shouta's lap. the hum, the sing of the blood in his veins.

❝ shou — ❞ just barely, the tremor in his hands flares. it's a side effect not of anxiety, but of adrenaline, a decade of yearning with no end in sight being acknowledged — accepted? — for the first time. worse in the left, the one shou's holding. despite it, he presses forward just a bit. those pale and uncalloused fingers, shaking fingers, brush over the stubble he'd been staring at earlier before coming to rest on his jaw. a smile, then. hopeful, a little afraid. there is still a chance he's reading all of this wrong. ❝ ... hi. ❞

[wednesdaythesecond]

9 & 22 <3 give me a hc for my boy

9. Write a recommendation of someone else's fic you enjoyed!

Fair warning, it's mean and violent and gnarly but it is absolutely delicious if you're into that kind of thing. This fic is so perfectly made for me that it's like it was taken out of my brain, only so much better in everywhere. It's the perfectly level of creepy; telling, showing and hinting just enough, like all excellent horror does. Every line is written with purpose to convey a feeling that something is deeply, deeply wrong and has been for a long, long time. This didn't come out of nowhere, this has been building under the surface like a poisonous infection. It's terminal and there's no escaping.

@bootlegfrank wrote it for me for nondenominational winter holiday and i've read it like 27 times <3333 you should read it too

22. Give us a headcanon for [character]

well idc who your boy is, anon, but i like headcanoning Gerard as having moral OCD

[bloodhaven]

I love having chemical labs and brain wave labs showing proof there's something genuinely wrong with me instead of just

. Idk. My feelers???? Like i always doubt my mental health diagnosis' because there's no like.... Diagnostic criteria above me Feeling And Doing Things, there's no labs, there's no cords attached to my head, but we both (my psych nd me, + my therapist) know I'm depressed and anxious and have bpd and bipolar and more, but there's no labs!!!

Sorry this rant got long its under the cut um tw for self harm and needles and suicide (od) attempts

Where's the paper proof ?? Where's the chemical proof? The brain scans? There aren't any because I haven't had any done, and I don't think I'll need them done??? (Unless my dizziness doesn't go away then.... I might)

But with my Narcolepsy there's brain tests, there's cords hooked to my scalp with this nasty glue gel shit all night monitoring me, I had to spend seconds at a time under scalding water to get the gel out and I have temperature trauma so of course i was triggered and burned and crying by the time it was all out, but there's proof!!! My doctor saw it! He said i sleep like a 3 month old, which isn't great, but he saw it and then he gave it to me so I have proof forever of my narcolepsy issues

For my diabetes there's blood tests every three months to make sure my A1C is good, they tested my blood three different times!!! I was tested for hyper cortisol (once) diabetes type 1 (twice) and then they did further testing to confirm my diabetes diagnosis (twice) by my primary care & by my Endocrinologist!! Its there! I have proof!! I have to shove a needle into my tummy once a week to keep my sugars under control, and every 10 days I put a CGM into my arm so i can WATCH my sugars change !!

But where's the Proof for my mental health? The scars on my wrists and thighs? I've had people accuse me of doing it for attention before. My 3 hospitalizations? The doctor for the third didn't believe i needed it, the first time I went i had to force it , and the second time was 1 month after the first for an overdose attempt.

I! Want! More! Proof! I want the paper trail, the blood draws, the labs, the scans ,etc for my mental health... I want rock solid undeniable proof of what is wrong with me so i dont spend my life going "well what if they were wrong" i dont i dont!!