#sometimes I think these are their internal monologues from the future

[quotedroom]

[text]

Hey, Nana…

Facing our mistakes and the wounds they leave… Even if we accept them, they won’t disappear. I’m still calling your name, Nana. No matter how much it hurts… I won’t stop until you answer me.

[blueskittlesart]

maybe this is a kind of obvious answer but can you talk about the symbolism of the silent princess flower in botw?

YEAH. i can <3 <3 <3 <3

so the silent princess. this flower which is so pervasive as a symbol throughout this game. most of what we are told about it comes directly from zelda in the memory where she talks about it. in the english version of the game, she says "This one here is called the silent princess. It's a rare, endangered species. Despite our efforts, we can't get them to grow domestically yet. The princess can only thrive out here in the wild. All that we can hope... is that the species will be strong enough to prosper, on its own." in japanese, she (more or less) says, "this is... it's called the silent princess, and it's an endangered flower. I started artificial cultivation [of the silent princess] a while ago, but it's not going well. it's... a princess that might become extinct." that discrepancy is interesting, i think, with the english version being altered to give zelda a slightly more hopeful outlook on the fate of the flower, musing about its potential for survival instead of thinking more negatively about the prospect of its extinction.

So. the flower's actual symbolism. It's honestly kind of heavyhanded imo, but sometimes a heavyhanded symbol still works really well. consider the flower's name, the "silent princess." consider, then, the two characters who are most obviously tied to it--zelda, the princess, who is actually named in the flower's compendium description, and link, the silent knight who seems to find the flower at every important location throughout his journey. On a certain level, the flower is representative of these characters, hence why its name evokes aspects of both of them. more specifically, though, the flower is representative of the internal struggle these two characters undergo as pieces of the bigger puzzle that is the calamity.

both zelda and link suffer "in captivity" as zelda puts it--they find themselves struggling under the weight of their destinies, zelda unable to perform to the standards of her father, link terrified to fall short of the kingdom's expectations. neither of them are able to reach their full potential when "cultivated artificially" as it were; link is mute and subdued, never showing even the slightest hint of his true personality underneath the hardened exterior, and zelda is frustrated and depressed, convinced she will never be enough to win the love and praise of her father. On a certain level, being "cultivated in captivity," being forced to live under careful observation, with a clear purpose and clear, unshakeable expectations, killed both link and zelda. link literally died at the hands of the calamity, and zelda killed her adventurous spirit and scientific curiosity in an attempt to conform to her father's expectations. when zelda, in the japanese version of the game, muses that the princess may be destined to become extinct, she is expressing kinship with the flower, believing that she, too, has no meaningful future since she can't conform to the expectations her father and her kingdom have for her. She essentially feels that if she can't be useful "in captivity" there is no way for her to live in this world, and that the only other option is "extinction."

Her more optimistic english monologue, however, is closer to the truth of the silent princess's resilience. While we know that the princess was in dire straits a hundred years ago, post-calamity hyrule sees many of the flowers taking root, often in places that were once highly-populated but have since been abandoned. what we find in a post-calamity landscape is that the silent princess, once thought to be unsavable, is THRIVING in this new world, having been released from the expectations and interference of the people trying to cultivate it. Again, this is symbolic of link and zelda: in a post-calamity landscape, we see link begin to find his voice. we see his personality begin to return--he cracks jokes, he laughs, he cooks, he takes photos, he makes connections, he buys a house and decorates it. He thrives in a world where he is not confined by the pressure to be perfect, to grow in the way that others expect of him. the silent princess can't grow in captivity, but it CAN thrive in the wild, free of outside influence, allowed to just BE.

Also worth noting that there's a side quest in botw which involves a legend that if you swear your love on a freshly-picked silent princess, you and your partner will "live a charmed life." there's definitely something to be said about The Zelink Flower being the subject of a romantic legend. but that's not actually the point of this post. anyway

[mylovelies-docx]

Sorry, I Love You - Part 9

Oh wow, a new chapter? Who'd have thunk it.

My posting schedule is all off and I honestly don't know if I can get it back under control. I have no idea when I'll get time to sit down and write and when inspiration will strike, so I can't assure weekly updates. But I'll try my hardest to get this story out! I have future chapters written, it's just that I have no way of connecting them right now :/ Oops.

Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?

C/W: Ah shit, here we go again. Angst, arguments, jealousy

Word Count: 2,250

Tag List: NOW CLOSED! If you'd like to keep up with this story, please follow my blog and turn on notifications! ❤️ you :)

[Prologue][Part 1][Part 2][Part 3][Part 4][Part 5][Part 6][Part 7][Part 8]

Some moments are easier than others. Sometimes you feel like you’re not pining like a love-sick teenager enough to think that you can actually do this – you can actually be friends with the man you love.

But then there are moments like tonight.

A few weeks have passed since community get-together, and you and Bucky are the new kids in town. Everyone drops by to say hello, leave you with enough food to last the winter, and invite you both back to their homes for dinner. It’s all very sweet, and you would appreciate the hospitality in any other situation.

But the amount of mothers trying to marry their daughters off to Bucky is insane. 

Several have not-so-subtley seated Bucky next to daughters of marriageable age, while everyone else is silently discouraged from interrupting their conversations. It skeezes you out when the girls are barely out of their teens, but most of the girls are around your age or older. Morality-wise, that’s a whole lot more appropriate. Internal monologue-wise, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh doesn’t even begin to cover it. What you feel whenever he laughs at something they say, or looks at them with his intense blue eyes – it hurts. That’s how he used to look at you, once upon a time. Like his life wouldn’t be the same without you in it, like you’re one of the most important people in his world.

To be fair to Bucky, you probably read waaaay more into it than he ever meant. And you only ever really saw that look come out when you were straddling his waist and grinding hard on his cock, skin mottled with his teeth marks and wearing his metal hand as a necklace. 

Stop, stop, stop, stop!

Anyway,

You’re usually placed next to older, widowed relatives, as most of the young men in the town have already settled down and popped out a few kids with their spouses except for Petre. Tessa foists the two of you together at every possible opportunity, hoping you’ll hit it off and decide to get married in the near future. 

Petre is nice, smart, cute, but not really your type. You’re convinced that you’ve only ever had one type and he’s off-limits. But Petre’s company is much more enjoyable than the sad, lonely older men they try to pair you with – it never feels great to be compared to someone’s long lost love – so you don’t mind having someone around your age to talk during these things.

Speaking of.

“It’s a nice night, yeah?” Petre comments. The night is warmer than expected, but you and Petre are still bundled up in your coats as you stroll through the dead copse of trees near the latest dinner party. The sun had set only minutes ago and the stars are making their presence known. There’s next to no light pollution in this area, so you always take the time to admire the night sky when you have the chance. 

You often take walks with Bucky up and down your street as a way to decompress after your shifts at the HYDRA facility. After the first week or so of being everyone’s errand-runner, they’ve slowly built up your workload to include calculations and deductions based on redacted data – it’s not as much information as you’d like, but it’s enough to build a foundational understanding of what the experiment was about.

You hum in agreement and continue walking. It’s about time to turn around and head back, but you can’t bring yourself to return only to watch Bucky flirt with the pretty girls that were also invited.  

“Is something the matter?” Petre asks you.

You startle out of your petty, jealous thoughts. “Hm? Oh, no. Nothing’s wrong,” you reply with a smile.

“It’s just that you seem very distracted tonight,” he responds.

With your hands in your pocket, the only thing you can do is shrug your shoulders. “Just tired, is all. It’s been a long week at the office.”

“Ah, I know the feeling,” Petre commiserates. 

All of the sudden, a wailing, piercing shriek ricochets between the tree trunks and reverberates in your ears. Tensing with adrenaline, you take two steps forward, ready to intervene in whatever events are unfolding in the darkness.

Before you get much further, Petre reaches out and takes hold of your elbow. Turning you around, he starts leading the way back. You try to tug your arm from his grip, but he holds firm.

“The cry of a vixen who is looking to mate. They’re rather vicious creatures this time of year, foxes. We don’t want to get in her way,” Petre deters.

“But…” you begin, looking back over your shoulders and watching for unexpected movement among the swaying branches. “It sounds so real.”

“Terrifying, really. I was just as concerned when they began, as well.” Petre gives you a tight smile and relaxes his grip slightly when you stop trying to pull away.

“What do you mean?” you question.

“What?” Petre’s eyes flash around quickly, looking through the woods that surround you.

“‘When they began’. What do you mean by that?”

“Ah,” Petre replies. “When mating season began.”

There’s no more discussion on the eerily accurate sound of a woman in distress. You can only trust that Petre would know the local fauna and their habits better than you, since you’ve never spent an extended period of time in areas such as this.

***

The neighbor’s house finally comes into view. A lone figure stands silhouetted against the porch as they lean against the railings, their arms braced against the banister and posture rigid. When you get closer, you realize that the figure is Bucky. 

You can’t see his face, but you can feel his eyes on you. And apparently Petre can as well.

“He doesn’t like me?” Petre asks.

“Why do you say that?” The question puzzles you because Bucky has no reason to dislike Petre. He’s been incredibly helpful so far, allowing you to ask as many questions as you want about himself and others and he doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. In fact, you feel as if you and Petre have become friends.

“It just seems like he’s never happy to see me.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that – James just has RBF,” you reply nonchalantly.

“RBF?” Petre replies.

You laugh as you and Petre climb the stairs, only now realizing that he still has a hand on your arm. You’d forgotten all about it, but you miss the slight warmth that permeated through your jacket when he removes his touch. You turn to look at him, but Petre is looking away, his hands now deep in his pockets. Turning your focus onto Bucky, you see him watching Petre, his eyes squinted.

A large smile returns to your face as you reach up and grab Bucky’s chin, squishing his cheeks and making his lips pucker from the pressure. “This –” you say triumphantly, “is an RBF.”

Bucky glares down at you and swats your hand away. You cackle at the perfect example of Resting Bitch Face™ in front of you, throwing your head back in joy. When you right your posture again, you can see a small smile on Bucky’s face as he laughs along with you.

“Whatever,” he murmurs. He shakes his head in exasperation before circling his arm around your shoulders. Bucky begins dragging you back down the steps you had just ascended and you grunt in protest. “It’s time to go,” he says simply.

“Ugh, you’re so rude,” you say to him. Craning your neck as much as possible, you look back towards Petre who remains on the porch. “I’ll see you later!” you call backwards with a wave. Petre raises a hand in return, face hidden in shadow as Bucky’s had been.

Focusing back on the road in front of you, you can practically feel what little mirth Bucky had drains away. Looking up, you notice that his jaw is clenched and a hard look has entered his eye.

“What’s wrong?” Now you’re worried that something happened to Bucky while you were gone that has put him in a bad mood. Did someone say something to him? Did one of the women reject his advances? You can’t see who in their right mind would turn him down, but not everyone feels the same way about him as you do. But if it’s the latter, the guilt you feel only slightly outweighs the relief.

“You don’t think you’re spendin’ too much time with him?” Bucky says between clenched teeth.

A frown appears between your eyebrows as you continue to look up at him. “No?” you respond. “He doesn’t seem to mind.”

“Ofcoursehedoesn’t,” Bucky mutters under his breath, but you can still hear him.

You slide out from under Bucky’s hold, his agitation sparking flames of your own. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You don’t think you’re leadin’ him on a bit, Y/N?” Bucky asks you.

You scoff. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“You’re always hangin’ around him!” Bucky quips back. “You’re flirting with him and walking out of parties together. All these people, Petre included, are going to think you’re pitching for an engagement.”

The hurt and pitiful feelings from earlier tonight come flooding back. Only this time, instead of feeling them for what they are, you combine them with the anger his comment brings. How dare he accuse you of leading Petre on? As if he isn’t doing the same thing to all those girls?!

“And what about you?!” you yell, the last word ripping its way between your lips and setting your tongue ablaze. “You don’t think you’re stringing all these girls along behind you? You don’t have any intention of getting into a relationship with any of them, either, do you?” 

As the words escape, you remember how Bucky sat you down and asked for a friends-with-benefits situation. Said he wasn’t ready for a real relationship, but tired of one night stands. How the two of you could help each other out since you weren’t seeing anyone either. The old resentment towards yourself and how you let yourself fall for someone wholly unavailable whiplashes back into your mind after months of repressing it. 

If he could ask that of you, does that mean he’s asked someone else? You usually arrive home later than him, but on some occasions that you are released early, he’s not there. Instead of asking where he’s been, you had just let it slide since it could have been construed as possessiveness. Like your feelings – that Bucky believes to be long gone – entitle you to his life. You hadn’t wanted to risk anything at the time, but now your mind can’t help running wild at the possibilities.

“It’s not like I’m screwing his brains out every time we’re gone!” You shout at Bucky. You had been walking down the road away from the house party which was on a street with few homes, so there’s nobody around to hear your fight. “We’re not in the bathrooms having quickies, he’s not fucking me against a wall, or bending me over his motorcycle! He hasn’t proposed we fuck around with each other until someone better comes along!” 

Your chest heaves with the effort of expelling these vicious words from deep within your heart, and you can feel a burning beginning to creep behind your eyes. You hate getting angry – hate that any strong emotion makes your eyes well with tears and makes you look weak. And in this situation, you are weak – weak against Bucky, weak against yourself, weak against the knowledge that the one man you’ve ever loved never felt the same way and never will. Your inability to keep yourself from falling for someone you knew you could never have? Your jealousy that he is probably sleeping with one or more of the women in town? That makes you weak. 

And you can’t stand to be weak in front of Bucky again.

“Newsflash, Buck: I know how it feels to be lead on by you and it fucking sucks!” You lower your voice slightly and take another step away from him. “I know that wasn’t your intention, and I didn’t feel that way at first, but that’s how I feel now.”

“You were my best friend, Y/N – I didn’t want to lose that!” Bucky exclaims. “And I genuinely thought we were on the same page!” He takes a deep breath and clasps his hands over his eyes before saying, “And seeing you run off with Petre all the time just reminds me of us – how we’d always sneak away to get some time alone. It’s just –” He drops his hands and sighs heavily, looking up at the star-studded sky and then back down to you. “I’m jealous.”

“You’re jealous?” You ask incredulously. “Why?”

“Because –” You can tell that he’s struggling to get this out, and if he hadn’t started this argument and accused you of wronging Petre, you might have been more receptive to what he’s saying. More understanding. But right now, your anger swallows all empathy and hope that his words would usually supply. “Because that could have been us,” he breathes. Bucky takes a tentative step in your direction, but freezes solid at the icy glare you send his way.

“No,” you say flatly, “No, it couldn’t have. You made that abundantly clear when I asked.”

You turn your back on him and start running, ignoring the sound of your name as you leave Bucky behind.

Part 10

Taglist: @jackiehollanderr @rabbitrabbit12321 @12345sebby @blackwood-bodecker-housewifeife @lauraashley93 @themorningsunshinee @happinessinthebeingg @nash-dara @calwitch @stany0url0calwh0res111 @pono-pura-vida @learisa @introverbatim @kentokaze @marvelogic @kaz11283

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

I love your translation posts, they give great context to some moments! I’ve seen chapter 348 translated with Toga’s confession as almost being narrated by Bakugou but I’ve also seen it translated as a more generic voice. Is there a correct version?

This is a complicated question, so let me put it this way: while there is less uncertainty in Japanese about who is narrating 348, that doesn't mean there is no uncertainty. In general, I think English audiences are responding with much more scrutiny to something that is not particularly notable in Japanese manga.

We don't have a lot of information about the narrator that refers to Izuku in the third-person. "Midoriya Izuku" is not how Izuku narrated the story when his internal voice was dominant, he always used first-person pronouns to tell "the story of how I became the greatest hero."

In the series, there are inner monologues that convey what the characters are thinking in the moment, and then there is "framing narration." Framing narration positions the story in the past tense, implying a future person is relaying this event with more knowledge about its conclusion than the audience has.

Inner monologues have distinct clarity both in visual cues (who is on-screen) and how they speak.

Ochako's inner monologue during 321 is indisputably Ochako; the opening words are placed over her image, and the Japanese audience is already familiar with the fact that Ochako calls Izuku "Deku-kun" and uses the personal pronoun watashi (私), so when she says "we," it's watashitachi (私たち), pluralizing her own pronoun. If this were Shouto's monologue, we would have had Midoriya and orera (俺ら) or oretachi (俺たち) instead. The audience would have understood the distinction, although the visual cue centering Ochako would feel a little odd, like Shouto is looking to her while thinking this.

Framing narration, of course, has little-to-no visual cuing, so we have to rely on speech patterns, and thus end up with subjective interpretation and predictions.

348's framing narrator uses kare (彼) to refer to Izuku as he. This is not a pronoun we have ever seen Katsuki use for him. Katsuki exclusively refers to Izuku in the third-person with aitsu or soitsu (あいつ or そいつ), both of which mean "that guy" in a rude way consistent with his typical speech pattern.

There is the possibility that the audience is supposed to be surprised by the use of "shitty nerd" following the pronoun kare, because the two contradict each other, and "shitty nerd" is put at the end of the sentence like a zinger. This might imply that, sometime in the future, Katsuki starts using kare for Izuku, and that really would be a shocking change, because it is extremely polite and non-confrontational compared to how he normally talks. I don't think that is what is going on, though, for the following reasons:

In manga, framing devices are not always explained or particularly thought of as noteworthy. Some series use a framing device at the beginning, and then completely abandon it by the end. Some series have very inconsistent framing devices, sometimes due to the intense workload of weekly chapter output and sometimes because the author just wants it that way, and they use the inconsistency as a way to be poetic, develop story themes, or conveniently convey information.

English language media, especially in recent years, has much more strict rules and expectations about framing devices. I don't think Japanese audiences are as concerned about who this narrator is because the expectations are different.

That said, from both a writing standpoint and the experience of the audience, Katsuki's words being brought up in the middle of a love confession is not meaningless. The literal identity of the narrator may not be that important in the end, but what the narrator conveys is absolutely still important.

There are a lot of ways you can interpret Katsuki's words being brought up here, but it is undeniably intentional. If he wanted the "nerd" meaning without connecting it to Katsuki, Horikoshi could have just called Izuku an otaku, since that term carries an implication of "indifferent or ignorant to human relationships" in Japan. If this were just about how oblivious Izuku is, he could have said that Izuku 空気を読めない (kuuki wo yomenai, can't read the room).

But he chose the words Katsuki alone uses for Izuku--words that were historically derogatory but, as their relationship has improved, could almost be read as friendly or affectionate.

I personally feel like it is foreshadowing, but we'll have to see how it shakes out!

[imoanurparentsnames]

beginning of alt text:

internal autistic traits by neuro_lou on twitter.

all slides have blue background with black text, and original poster's username, neurodivergent lou, in the bottom hand corner. all text is medium sized unless otherwise stated for that slide.

slide one says "internal autistic traits" in big text.

slide two says "for too long, being autistic has been described from the outside, from the impact of autism on other people. autism is more than a sum of external experiences. a lot of being autistic, to me, is the parts that are not visible. and these autistic traits are equally valid, even if they are not spoken about enough".

slide three has the title of "internal echolalia". it says "echolalia is the repetition of sound. it is often thought of as words being repeated out loud. echolalia can also be internal, where someone repeats words or sounds in their head rather than out loud. it is part of an internal monologue. sometimes internal echolalia can bring us lots of joy and feel regulating, but equally, at other times, it may feel overwhelming".

slide four has the title of "feeling inherently different". it says "another thing which can be part of the internal autistic experience is feeling inherently different from other people. this might involve not feeling a sense of belonging or feeling isolated. we might notice that we process and experience the world in a way that is different. i had an intense feeling of being different before i even knew i was autistic. it still consumes a lot of my brain space."

slide five has the title of "not feeling connected to our own body". it says "to some extent, this autistic trait is external and observable in terms of my difficulties with co-ordination, but there are also less spoken-about internal experiences. for example, i sometimes feel like i want my body to move in a certain way, but i just can't execute that movement, no matter how hard i want to. other autistic people describe not feeling connected with existing as a visible feeling.

slide six has the title of "evaluating past social interactions and imagining future interactions". it says "I spent a lot of time in my own brain thinking about past social interactions, scrutinising and evaluating my performance within them, and trying to de-code other people's emotions and intentions. i equally spend a lot of time thinking about and imagining future interactions, thinking about the alternative ways which they might play out. i might script my own interactions too."

slide seven has the title of "vivid imagination". it says "a lot of autistic people describe how they have a vivid imagination and spend time creating intricate worlds for themselves, including having imaginary friends. some autistic people describe how creating these internal imaginary worlds for themselves has been a way to create an escape and safe space, in a world which doesn't always feel safe."

slide eight has the title of "pattern seeking". it says "pattern seeking can be a key way which autistic people internally process the world. we may be constantly seeking out and recognising patterns in the world. this might involved seeking out and processing number plates, understanding patterns in people's behavior, or seeking patterns in films and tv shows".

end of alt text.

[always-outlander]

Outlander 7x01 Thoughts & Easter Eggs

Feel free to look below the cut, spoilers ahead!

First episodes are always interesting in that they have so much hype because the fans are starved for new episodes, but they rarely do more than set the table for the rest of the season. A hard thing to juggle and be able to hold peoples attention while also jamming a lot of context clues in there. I think overall this one served its purpose and I felt like it was a wise decision for there to not be a time jump between the last episode of season 6.

That said, we all need to keep in mind the parameters of season 7 going into the rest of the episodes of this first half. The first 4 episodes of season 7 were supposed to be a part of season 6. Then the rest of season 7 was filmed with the creators not knowing if they would be given a season 8, so they jammed 3 books worth of content into it. I don’t know about everyone else, but I certainly felt that pacing and quicker speed in this first episode. With a show and book series which historically takes forever for storylines and payoffs to come to fruition, it’s hard not to feel that change.

Opening scene and “vision” (? Or is it just a thought Jamie has?) of Claire being sentenced was impactful, excellent acting once again by Caitriona. I thought the internal monologue of Jamie knowing she’s not dead was lovely and a smart way to call back their vows. He does so twice in this episode.

Bree & Roger

Bree and Roger are such dweebs and their endless use of puns and 20th century references cracks me up. That said, if they keep it up I’ll get annoyed, sometimes it feels like a cop out for better dialogue and gives the impression that these two never share serious conversations between them. I understand their dynamic is different than Jamie and Claire’s, but there is a fear that the writers are solely using their conversations as the comedic relief points in the show.

Rogers preaching leads him to Indigo Donner (the actor is perfect, he’s a sneaky snake). The fact that Roger may likely have something to do with his escape is the ultimate irony. Especially given the time taken to find the date of the house burning in the future, and that he and Bree came back to try and avoid it.

Claire

Claire’s scenes in the jail cell are great, and the women in the jail were excellent character actors, especially Sadie. When Jamie and Young Ian finally reach the jail we see our first glimpse of vengeful Jamie and while I do sometimes get frustrated with Sam’s use of a furrowed brow, his anger and reactionary body langue is still in line with young Jamie. The continuity of the character has always been impressive to me, right down to his little finger movements and facial twitches.

Claire being a healer in action was so nice to see again, I feel like it’s been a while since she’s been actively healing others. Just like the books, her skills have granted her a literal get out of jail free card.

It may just be me, but I do feel like Claire is now capable of doing some bad things and has a bit more mischief in her eyes in her old age. Jamie is still a hot head willing to break every rule to protect Claire, and her moral compass is the only thing that keeps him in line. But the older she gets, the more Jamie’s willingness to bend the rules is rubbing off on her, and I really love that we don’t always know exactly how Claire is going to react anymore. She’s got a poker face now, and it makes her far more interesting to watch.

Major McDonald on board the ship is from the books but it’s also a great scene to help move the plot along. Governor Martin was a real historical figure and the actor who plays him is another great character actor. Forcing Jamie to gather men for the revolution and pick a side has been the trend of the last 3 seasons so it comes as no surprise that he’s once again being forced to swear loyalties to the crown (and finding a way out of it).

Tom Christie

Mark Lewis Jones as Tom Christie is a wonderful casting. He’s such a strong actor and his portrayal of Tom’s (very unfortunate) unrequited love is perfectly done. The scene where Tom tells Jamie his plan to free Claire was not shown in the books, just implied. Seeing that conversation was a perfect spot for Sam and Mark to wrap a bow around Tom Christie’s character and his relationship with Jamie. The callback of Jamie’s vow to Claire on their wedding night was also a very sweet bit of added dialogue. There are many moments where the show is able to add scenes and dialogue that seamlessly fit into the story, and this is one of them.

The way in which Tom was willing to lay his life aside for Claire was a beautiful thing. Jamie putting aside his pride to allow it was a big moment for him. I also loved the eulogy moment. Jamie giving Tom the eulogy he would have wanted and deserved was such a perfect way to close out their storyline.

The scene between Claire and Tom had so many lovely call backs to the books, and majority of the dialogue was straight from the text. The scene shed light on Tom’s brother, his wife, and the reasons Tom became the man he did. It also shed light on Malva’s upbringing and how that informed Tom’s shaping of his own motive.

Claire seeing through his lies actually reinforces why he fell in love with her. When he tells her that he loves her my heart broke for him, and for Claire. It’s not like she can do anything to persuade him, and she will never reciprocate. His life for hers is the ultimate sacrifice, and a debt she knows she cannot repay to him. I thought the acting of both Cait and Mark shined brightly in this scene.

Jamie

Jamie and Claire’s second reunion is cute, but this goes back to the timing issue I highlighted above. It feels off with all the abruptly cut scenes. In their first reunion, the two share a kiss and the scene immediately cuts to Jamie standing alone in the cabin with governor Martin. Then the second reunion, they meet on the docks and it immediately cuts to them laying in bed. You mean to tell me this man who just traveled for days and moved mountains to find his wife is given a literal peck of a reunion, then we skip their entire conversation and cut to them in bed hours later? It felt like they removed dialogue for the sake of run time and personally, I’d always prefer small talk with Claire and Jamie and a full two minutes of them staring into each others eyes than any B-Roll.

Third strange pacing and editing choice was when Jamie tells Claire to rest and she’s IMMEDIATELY asleep. It’s not even a minute later and he’s able to sneak out on her. At the very least they could have dimmed the lights and implied it has been an hour or so before he left.

But they redeemed themselves with the last scene between Jamie and Mr. Brown, that was great. Now that Jamie’s older and has greater responsibilities we see less of a fire in him. While his love for Claire is still strong, he’s not as reckless. But this scene shows the viewers that the fire is still very much alive in Jamie, along with his tactical mind. Having Ian go back to the ridge to implement his revenge was a great callback to young Jamie and his strengths. One of the best lines of dialogue in YEARS was:

“I’m also a violent man, any goodness that prevails in me is because of my wife. You tried to take her from me.”

THIS is what I hope we get loads of this season.

I’m optimistic after this first episode. Visually it was stunning as always, there was a lot of acting highlights for numerous characters, and the storyline and dialogue stayed true to the books when it needed to, and added more depth and context when necessary.

[brightbeautifulthings]

The Angel of Indian Lake by Stephen Graham Jones

"I used to be all about the final girl standing on top of a pile of the dead at the end of the movie, her face dripping blood, her chest heaving, her eyes fierce. Now I'm all about holding the door of the slasher-proof shelter open, so everybody can duck in, ride this out."

Year Read: 2024

Rating: 4/5

Thoughts: I put this off for a bit because I wasn't ready for the trilogy to be over, and I'm pretty emotional about this horrific, blood-drenched, heartfelt series as a whole--which honestly tells you a lot about me and it. Fans of the first two books will find plenty to love about it, and the character development for Jade throughout the series is really good. I adore her as a main character and a final girl. She's the beating, bloody heart of these books, and I'm excited that she'll live on in slasher history for girls to look up to and see themselves in and celebrate alongside Laurie Strode and Sidney Prescott as peak examples for the genre. There's a lot of her trying to manage her own trauma in this book, which typically isn't something we get to see a lot of in horror. While I felt the narrative was tighter in Don't Fear the Reaper, this one falls back into some of the habits of My Heart Is a Chainsaw, where it sometimes feels like we get a bit lost in her internal monologue at the expense of what's happening. It feels intentional--the very real consequences of a trauma spiral--but as a spectator it's occasionally frustrating.

It's up there with the first two books as far as gore and body count, and I enjoy the fact that no matter how much I know I'm in a slasher, I'm still surprised when the violence explodes out of nowhere from the least expected directions. Jones has a talent for dreaming up horrific mass death scenes, usually not once but several times in a book. The killers are a little all over the place in this one, no looming specter of Dark Mill South to ground the book, but I think it works. It dips into some seriously dark territory at one point, but I like the way it's all pulled together by the end, the lore of previous books coming back to shape this one. While Don't Fear the Reaper is still my favorite (weird, right? way to go all Catching Fire with it), I enjoyed the series a lot overall and will be glad to return to Jade and Proofrock in future rereads. I received a free e-ARC through NetGalley from the publishers at Saga Press.

[quietbluejay]

Master of the Maelstrom

You know, if I had a nickel every time I had a wh40k fave who was a space pirate leader with chronic pain in a constant mental struggle against the dark forces giving him his power, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's funny they have so many similarities on paper yet are so different in execution.

What an unfortunate first name this man has

Man, dude has style

He talks about the appeal of Chaos being idea of having the freedom to do what you want without a superior breathing down your neck (lmao) and how that's still a lie, but it's more freedom than the Imperium will give you.

oh hey hello, it's that choice again, haha.

look I know he’s an evil dude who’s in denial about being high on chaos but he’s meeting all my standards I don’t care that he’s a burnt chicken nugget so far he’s the most attractive chaos character ive met so far Well I’ll wait til he strangles a subordinate I guess With my luck with characters it’ll happen lol Okay look hes showing better social-fu than I’ve seen from a single primarch despite them supposedly having super charisma well, he has regular person charisma instead of magic warp charisma that does most of the work for you He’s constantly throwing jabs at the imperium in his inner monologue And also he’s got chronic pain and has a magic parrot also he's a tax evader What more could you want?

i think throwing Sad Ahriman at Huron would be very fun huron definitely knows who ahriman is they maybe even met before! so he'd know this is a ticking time bomb (this is, assuming sad ahriman somehow travelled through time to the future) also huron would definitely be like "i am going to cause problems for the imperium on purpose" if he were to ever travel back to horus heresy era like i had a vague thought about before

I'm also really enjoying our other main POV character, Griza Dallax. Actually you know what consistently all the admech women have been pretty great. Tawren, Carmenta, now Griza. Spider cyborg woman from Talon of Horus was also fun.

oh. i think Griza hit a nerve

Griza:

huron continues to be salty about the imperium he wants people to suffer the same way he did and have the lies of benevolence/protection stripped away also man, calling out Mortarion and Magnus for sulking for 10k years and i get the feeling he'd say it to their faces, quite possibly huron internally: it would be totally sick if guilliman was my dad and i got to fight him huron: also if i have to die, what a way it would be to go out

Valthex my beloved

I just like how in this whole room of people who don’t trust each other and would sell each other for one corn chip there is one mostly genuine friendship

Diversity win! Local space pirate is NOT xenophobic!

Rip the tarellians though, got killed for having too much pride when Huron's got other stuff to do I find it fun though that his internal monologue has zero xenophobia He’s better than guilliman in this respect lol I think this counts as becoming a better person out of spite. I mean yes he did still kill them for essentially being in the way but he’s equal opportunity that way lol

huron: the imperium is xenophobic, ergo i will welcome xenos under my banner actually i think he's quite possibly the ONLY non-racist POV I've read so far unless we're counting eldar who happened to just not think about non-tyranid aliens

i just love love love the metaphors and similes warhammer writers use "[the ship] jerks into the air like a scalded animal" huron: lmao think twice daemons you're not getting onto my ship

pros in favour of huron being an ultramarine successor: organized, likes logistics, wants to have all the details available cons against him being one: doesn't think or talk in their stupid "theoretical/practical" huron: the problem with being a chaos space marine is that sometimes your ship eats your space marines and also people get into fights all the time so you have no clue how many people you actually have on board or who they are

RIP

also, i still find it hilarious that the warp tastes like burned sugar to everyone me ruining my candymaking attempt because i looked away for five seconds and it burns: this is so warhammercore huron: if you don't want to use your own soul to make bargains, store bought is fine

The level of willpower

daemon tries to tempt him huron: BEGONE THOT the whole bit was great

"...their enemies for them"

so, like, i know he's unreliable narrator but this is really adding fuel to my theory that the official story about the badab war has propaganda. Like I'm not gonna say he did nothing wrong, lmao, but it doesn't fit with his personality.

griza my beloved

sits bolt upright POV SWITCHING THERE WAS POV SWITCHING IN ONE SCENE AND I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE, BROOKS YOU SMOOTH-

Griza, no

the problem with might makes right huh what i find interesting is that it's a philosophy he's adopted as a means to an end rather than a goal in and of itself huron's POV is so fun

that's a burn all right

im not sentimental, local space pirate says sentimentally, with a sentimental expression

also i am standing by my opinion that huron would be able to fix ahriman (and the ship of misfits) BUT it would require some fairly specific circumstances

honestly ahriman is a character i don't really want to write it's hard to put him in wacky shenanigans maybe im unnecessarily constraining myself lol i did start uh writing a huron fic though involving time travel

wait i forgot to meme huron: you captured guilliman and you LOST him??? HOW do you LOSE a primarch??? Verngar: you forget to cherish him wait ok my further thoughts which i prob shouldnt be typing due to arm lol

i love how the imperiums enemy is forged from itself Meanwhile he’s constantly fending off demonic temptation that feels like his own thoughts

RIP Griza, she ended up sacrificing herself for the Imperium in the end

looks like the red corsairs are blasting off again….

anyways it was a fun book

I had two issues with the book: one is that it felt more like an extended character study of Huron than a proper novel. It was a fairly fun character study because Huron's a fun character, so it didn't bother me too much, but it is an issue. The second, and the one that bugged me more, was that it was really more of a tie-in to the "main plot" rather than standing on its own, the plot was really the weakest element.

It also had a subtly different interpretation of the setting from the other 40k books I've read so far (I'm ignoring the HH, because those SHOULD be clashing with 40k in terms of atmosphere, tone, etc), the kind of thing you get when you have multiple writers taking over from each other and you get stuff that clashes tonally and also in where they take the feel of the worldbuilding, I don't know the term for this. You see it in comics all the time when a new writer takes over and decides to put their own spin on things which may be fine on its own but can have some radically different interpretations of characters or setting elements etc. This is really more of a minor issue for me, and Brooks doesn't go as far as I've seen in comics, otherwise I'd be listing this under main issues, but it definitely feels like he's working from a different franchise bible than French/Haley/ADB (assuming they HAVE a franchise bible which I highly doubt given what I've seen of Black Library's competency or lack thereof. To be fair given the sheer scale of 40k any such beast would likely be the size of a contemporary Sanderson novel). By that I mean, it doesn't feel like he's doing his own spin on it, but that, again, he's writing an extended supplement for the game so it hews more closely to the tone, atmosphere, setting details, etc. as they're presented in codices. I used a lot of words here to dig into a minor complaint that's YMMV on whether it's even a negative or not, and I'm still not sure I was able to describe what I wanted to lol.

[ghost-proofbaby]

ghost!!! i am sobbing weeping crying omg twenty four hours is coming to an end and it is so very bittersweet. i found 24hrs on ao3 and stayed up until three am binging it, then immediately went and followed you on tumblr, and ive been keeping track of it ever since. im not very good a tumblr since i only started using the app for fanfic last october, and i am one of those people that sometimes is ashamed of being a fangirl, so it’s almost unbelievable to me that i have a space where no one will know it’s me and i can enjoy whatever i want. im still trying to adjust to that, tell myself that it’s okay to repost fanfics and that this is a safe space. but twenty four hours has helped me with a LOT of that. before i used to kinda be ashamed to go on tumblr, but now i scroll it daily bcs i didn’t want to miss any updates on the fic. i also made the plunge and officially got an ao3 account, after oh about, seven or eight years of reading fan fiction practically non stop. so im getting there, and i just wanted you to know that twenty four hours helped me to get there.

and i think the main reason that twenty four hours has helped me get there is because of the quality of your writing. you write beautifully, intricately, and most of all—truthfully. ive never read an x reader that has felt so real, so fleshed out and most of all, relatable. i would find myself having internal monologue as i read from the ‘reader’s’ perspective and then the next paragraph would, sometimes word for word, have ‘reader’ think what i was thinking. this fic was also so healing, in a way. the way you used literary devices to describe such complicated situations had me often feeling relieved—like i had just let something go. as someone with a lot of baggage right now and who has a hard time believing they could ever be loved, it was at the very least comforting to have my insecurities and my negative qualities forgiven and proven untrue through ‘reader’ if that makes sense.

ik this is sappy as hell but i genuinely feel this way. your writing has moved me in a way that actual published books haven’t done for me in a while. so i just want to thank you for the time, effort, and thought that went into this fic. and secondly, i want to suggest the idea of adapting this into a novel to be published or a screenplay for a movie, in case no one has mentioned that to you or you haven’t thought of it. i really believe you have something good here, and with your talent, i could see you being very successful. this story of these two people—who both have internal wounds inflicted on themselves, each other, or from the past—who then grow more self aware and choose to be honest, even when it’s hard, is such a rare thing to see in literature or any kind of art. and i think the world needs more of that. bcs, like i said, this fic was more than just a fic to me. it touched me deeply. i cried, i laughed, and i reflected my own self. in short, it was a journey in more ways than one.

so thank you—for your art, for ‘reader’, and for eddie. i can’t wait for the epilogue and to read whatever stories you may have planned for the future.

<3

(ps so sorry to have word vomited in your ask box.)

first and foremost — never apologize for word vomit in my ask box. i am always a-okay with that. 🖤

i don’t even know what to say. i have this terrible habit of putting a lot more of myself than i care to admit into both my readers and my ocs, and most of the time, it’s not the good parts. usually, it’s the absolute worst parts of myself. i take all the rot inside, and i throw it into these projections, and i try to justify how someone with those qualities would still be deserving of love. it’s always been a coping mechanism. always. and then i’ve always strived to be a better writer, make my words worth reading, because i know how much of myself i’ve put into it.

to know other people see themselves in reader or eddie or any character i write is both so strangely hopeful but also so saddening, and it just makes me want to give you the biggest hug 🫂

on the note of publishing, i have definitely considered it. it’s just a really scary journey to decide to take. but the day i do decide to take the plunge, whether with this story or any other i’ve written or any entirely new one, you all will be the first to know 🖤🖤🖤

thank you so so much for reading, for letting my writing touch your soul the way it has. i am so honored that this fic has had this type of affect on you. this message genuinely made me cry. i am sending you all the love. <3

[caestusvulpes]

part flexible summary:

alrighty! sorry for the mild wait on this post! I got a few people wanting some backstory beyond what I have in my carrd ( of which I'll link this post in there for any future readers out there ) and had max and river encourage me to make it.

this is a post that summarizes the plot, events, and mechanics of a long-running plot ( spanning since early 2017 ) of our JJBA roleplay server. It began on tumblr, has been on discord for years, and I thought it would make a good addition to bring over here again due to the plot elements actually making interacting with characters from different parts ten times easier, as seen with kay and nora's parts 7 & 8 muses ( if you're reading this you two hi hello ily ). I don't have to make like 10 different verses or variations of verses and good chance hikari'll reference tumblr-based events in the discord. Might share some funny snippits of the discord server here as well <33

That being said, let me lead you on this fucked up and bizarre journey that spans 6 years in the most succint way I can possibly put it.

First off, read this. This PDF was put together by Max, and actually summarizes most things in the chat along with a few side jokes. Duplicate muses are explained as timelines folding into a main 'anchor' timeline ( the one of the original Stand user Conner MacCrimmon written by Moody ), with distinct enough variations on one person becoming seperate entities, and those that don't variate much just fold into their 'main' incarnation with a few new memories and experiences. There are three 'over heaven' muses in chat as a sort of 'pantheon', being Aster ( a version of Star Platinum seperated from a Jotaro ), 'Johtaro' ( a version of Jotaro ), and Cohnner ( a version of Conner who's the driving force behind timelines getting folded in-- originally loathed and tolerated, now with people being chill with him )

This also has the symptom of characters from other universes getting mixed the fuck in, which gives us the excuse to play muses from other franchises that are adapted to the world of JJBA completely. Shadow the Hedgehog? Who's that? Don't you mean Foundation Agent Shadow who's totally human and for his neutral special wields a gun? A few other characters I'll be mentioning in threads are Hoshi ( Foundation Archivist ) and Astrid ( Sees Everything ), written by Sci who y'all know already because they're amazing, Ollie and the aformentioned Shadow, written by the same mun of Aster who I linked above, Conner and Moody's other awesome muses, Avdol, Risotto Nero, and a few delightful OCs from the mind of Jules, as well as characters written by Athena, Kris, Rijolt, Kheti, Rani, Chickie, Viala, and Sun! Way too many to list here the cast is Very Colorful. But if you hear Hikari talk about another character in an internal monologue or something, good chance she's thinking about her buddies at work.

Now you may be asking me: clover, how in the goddamn does time travel work into all this?

Well, you may have read that bit at the end of the slide presentation about 'appearing anywhere' if you think about a place hard enough for ease of travel. This fluidity in spacetime has some caveats. Let me explain.

When first starting out in 2017 and lining all of our characters up, Hikari was actually the eldest character among the starting group of 5 muses. Cut to now and while she's aged normally ( at 24 now! ), Kakyoin is in his 40s, Astrid is in her late 20s, and iirc Yukako slipped in time as well. But to answer this, we need to talk about parallel universes.

kidding. kind of.

sometimes cohnner's weaving gets a little wonky and threads of time slip from the tapestry. This causes characters to slip out of time until its weaved back in. For these characters, life continues somewhat normally-- the Foundation may still be there, although people like Hoshi and Hikari and Astrid aren't, and until the fold mends, they're stuck in that timeline, aging normally. The holding record for character with the longest dip in time is both Tenmei Kakyoin and Aster at a whopping 12 fucking years.

To the main timeline, they were only gone for about a day. There was no real way to get back until the stars just happened to align, and the man jumped from late twenties to his forties in the span of 28 hours.

Existentially terrifying, right?

Well, with timeline explanations out of the way, I'm obviously not going to godmod and Hikari assume or know your muses, nor know the history if she happens to be stuck in a part that's in the past ( bt as in her non-bt verse, phantom blood, sdc, or golden wind ). She doesn't read those files anyway, and if she did I probably would go with her not knowing jack and/or shit. In the server its a different story, but I'm not gonna give Hikari multiversal knowledge.

There's also some mechanically different stuff, such as fusion as mentioned in the slide. Here's a slide in a similar style I made like a year and a half ago. Fusion is canon as per both DIU ( Stray Cat and Killer Queen ) and Jojolion ( something something oranges and lemons something something wall eyes something something josuk8 ), so naturally we all built something off of it and this was born after a bunch of workshopping. I'm so normal about fusions i'm so so incredibly normal. Extra body parts applies and there's some tongue in cheek references to su and dragon ball, but inherently its its own thing. Yes there's a ton of fusions with Hikari as a component in the list section shut up.

Currently, Hikari might be investigating strange events that coincide with Stand phenomena. She uses her side gig as a groundskeeper to hover around Morioh and gather info by ear. In other situations, she might slip into parts 7 or 8 due to them being entirely different universes due to being naturally around spacetime irregularities. Y'know, funstuff.

As always, I want to stress that if you do not want to work with this canon, you're absolutely free to tell me. We can do something entirely seperate from this. This is mostly background shenanigans that explains some of Hikari's thoughts and actions, and won't really come into play unless its plotted out, and due to the ease of working Hikari into threads using this as a basis, that's why its my part flexible verse. These aren't hard rules!

Thank you for reading!! If you want more clarification on anything stated here, pleaaaaaase send me an ask-- box is always open <33

[ihaveseentruebravery]

I am sooooo glad I decided to do the rewatch of this season with the accompanying APs, because I DEFINITELY missed stuff.

1) there's a really interesting couple of things that happen in ep2/3. Wrote about the Rue/Hob thing at the link and like their immediate interest in each other. But like... I think a lot of their anxiety/fear/insecurity has, weirdly, been UNDERESTIMATED in this impact it had on their future encounters. https://ontaskvvidogast.tumblr.com/post/697020254543609857/man-sometimes-im-a-crazy-person-about-shows-but

2) Hob gets pretty distracted from the engagement thread, both by Rue, but ALSO by Gwyndolin in the forest when she speaks as Binx. And I didn't clock this as much with my first watch-through because there was soooo much going on.

3) Wuvvy was angry about Hob being the cause of what Rue ultimately decided to do out of fear, and thus the Duel, but Wuvvy is mostly worried about Rue. We actually see a bit of fallout I missed the first time in ep4 about Wuvvy being afraid that she overstepped with the duel. Rue communicates with Wuvvy how scared they were about everything happening so quickly and about how what they want should be the last thing on their mind because of their duties. It's WUVVY that essentially says, ‘Do what you want to do, what if this is the last bloom? Why not go out with a bang?’ and THAT'S actually why Rue shows their authentic self at the tea time. It's RUE that keeps asking Wuvvy for Wuvvy to stay by their side. (and we see Rue's internal monologue of anxiety later through Binx and the detect thoughts)

4) at the tea time, after Hob was hurt by the duel and not knowing what it was about, and told by Lady Boil to DEFINITELY keep checking the Gwyndolin thing, Hob only compliments Rue on their ‘magnificent entrance’, even though Rue clocks the impact of it on him bc of some insight checks. Hob focuses almost entirely on Gwyndolin and their ‘real name’ especially since the wanessa thing happens at the same time and Gwyndolin/Binx tells people to back off. 

I'll be interested to see what reads differently to me about the Hedge Maze and the Tailor's Shop in ep5/6 because that's when the other two pairs pop off SUPER STRONGLY with what they're doing.

But it's really reading to me as this Hob/Rue pair being immediately interested, constantly talking themselves out of it because of fear/insecurity/anxiety, and making HUGE moves because they can't help it and in spite of themselves. 😂 Poor bastards.

But there's sooooo much no one ever clocks about Wuvvy. I'm dying to see how/what I missed, that leads to Wuvvy never delivering the second letter. Because Rue not telling the truth in the tailor's shop, is being construed as somehow WORSE than Wuvvy betraying Rue by not delivering the second letter, and I'm still amazed that that's even a thing people are stuck on since what we'd seen of Wuvvy, so far, was urging Rue to put themselves first, and when Rue finally does, Wuvvy just betrays Rue's trust by not letting that letter get to where it should have gone.

(truly... The sheer anxiety and fear alone of Rue not wanting to reveal the truth about the Grabalba engagement, because of Rue ALREADY being afraid of their feelings, is so clear to me. But then, I'm also a poor communicator, so Hob immediately accusing Rue of having this whole plan makes sense because of how his court ALREADY treats him and he's talked himself into this whole spiel of service being Right and Just, and because Rue has held a TON back verbally because of their own fears (and unwittingly bc of the Wuvvy Issue), and then they're ALSO angry at each other because of the whole situation escalating... This has been a WILD ride)

[funkymbtifiction]

I noticed a trend in fictional characters, and I like to clarify if my reading checks with how it plays out in real life: It seems like the Fi types (specially xSFPs) don't need (or want?) any confirmation of what the other person is feeling/thinking during a conflict, they assume they know it because "their actions say so" (i.e. if she cared about me she'd be here, she's not so it means she doesn't care), and will act on it like breaking up with someone or shutting them off their lives).

Se believes in what it sees and interprets that on a surface level, so yes, that would be accurate for SFPs. Ne looks for motivations and reasons and alternatives, so NFPs speculate on things rather than take them at face value and they do not move on quickly. Both are only able to tell what they themselves are feeling "for sure" (and might not like to "assume" what the other person is feeling). IFPs are firmer in shutting down relationships than EFPs because they know how they feel about this and it's over, whereas EFPs absorb more information before making decisions and are flexible.

The FJ characters though seem to spend a lot of time (sometimes years) stuck on trying to understand why someone acted the way they did, like trying to find the reason why your ex cheated, so it looks like they never move on.

SFJs do this more than NFJs, because an NFJ would reach an intuitive assumption about their motivations and turn their focus into the future. SFJs have no firm views on why and would seek details, using Ne endlessly to speculate and might not settle on a firm thing; they would want confirmation in some tangible sense, as sensors.

I'm not sure this is also an issue Ts would have (there's really not a lot of internal emotional monologues with TP characters), but since Ti is about understanding I guess it might be?

There's a movie called Enigma, about an INTP who cannot and will not move on from a relationship in which his girlfriend disappeared. He has to find out what happened to her, and why, and it causes him to self-destruct, almost lose his job, etc., because he can't let it go. His Ti won't quit analyzing the past and searching for answers. INTPs have a harder time moving on than ISTPs for obvious low Si reasons (getting stuck in the past vs. living in the present and future).

As for whether this holds up in real life -- to some extent, yes. I've seen ENPs even get stuck in dwelling on past relationships because there are no present ones in their life to focus on, so they look back, romanticize, and wonder what went wrong.

[weebsinstash]

bro 😨 i swear some of these are actually psychological horror books

I think the problem at least for me is really how it's handled and a lot of these authors are like obsessed with high school teenagers having sex. Like for example if you just spent like several chapters describing all the ways she's been physically and sexually abused by her own father to the point she literally doesn't even understand what the mate bond or love actually is, like her dad fucked her up so bad he would molest and beat her and say it was love, and she's instantly terrified when she meets her mate because she fears his love too, and then the story will switch to his pov and hes like, LUSTING for her, that's not ok? That's fucked up, like tone wise?

Like for example i know teenagers who are 5'4 and curvy probably do exist but is it like truly appropriate to be describing how sexy and hot to protagonist is when she's 1. A high-school girl, a child 2. An incest victim and has been since she was 13 and 3. The abuse literally just ended like a chapter or two ago and she hasn't even mentally recovered

Rm for length

Like this story goes from her new future Alpha mate who is also a high schooler saving her from being raped, he literally walks in on, ew, her father forcing her legs apart, and then like maybe 4 chapters later "oh maybe to help her understand the mate bond and help her be more comfortable, we can have her spend time with these other two kids her age who are mates" and she's like watching them touch and cuddle and be physically affectionate which i find insanely inappropriate actually, she was molested and told it was love so you're exposing her to other people being touchy with each other? Like an actual talented author would have made the connection that, realistically, the protagonist would probably be massively uncomfortable if not outright triggered by this, like at one point she has a panic attack so bad she passes out. and the dude who is her mate like, tries to cuddle her while they watch a movie and stuff, and she kind of likes it, but from my perspective as an adult and as a reader i just keep thinking "can you guys not even give her like a couple of months before trying to like lowkey manipulate her"

Like for the love of fucking god I don't want to hear about how he's literally getting fucking hard by cuddling with her and his internal monologue about how sexy she is and how badly he has to hold his wolf back from pouncing on her when BOTH OF THEM ARE MINORS like GROSS, what age group is this story even intended for, it's going from really adult topics to like really tropey mid tier highschool drama bullshit? I don't want to hear the fucking boyfriend thinking shit like "she shifted just slightly, briefly putting her hand on my thigh for a moment, and it sent waves of electricity straight to my cock" when she's like. Trying to just watch a movie and let dinner settle into her stomach because she's so poorly malnourished she can't even take full bites of a sandwich, she has to tear pieces of it off and eat slowly bc she feels so sick. Like it's the WHIPLASH.

Like sorry maybe when you're still a teenager, shows that show teenagers being flirty and sexual with each other might be appealing, but im a grown woman, and it rubs me the wrong way, idk? IS there an appropriate way for adults to write about kids in this way? Sometimes it's cultural I guess but imo I basically consider everyone a kid until they're like 20, 21 and it just. It's creepy. Please stop talking about how this like 16 year old is gorgeous and doesn't even need makeup and she has double d size breasts and a flat stomach and a thigh gap and a fat ass but is somehow also dangerously malnourished like, it's very. It's just outta pocket. It's weird man and that's coming from me. I'm gonna listen for a little while longer but I just find the handling of her abuse a little bizarre.

And also like. They have her speak to a therapist about how horrific her abuse was and the therapist immediately goes to her future mate and is like "I'm not supposed to tell you this but you are her mate, so--" and just tells him all her personal shit. That should have been her choice to make. They're not giving her enough time to heal. Maybe it's just upsetting for me because I'm dealing with a lot of mental health stuff and these plotlines involving being manipulated and betrayed behind your back and not respected or having your own autonomy is really hitting me

[conquerthenight]

Random passages from my Rebecca fics that I’m proud of:

I am Ileana de Winter (née Fernsby), and I will not remain nameless. - Distant Voices of Times Gone By

“You don’t understand. You think he’s been distant with you? Well imagine that, but non stop for a year. He hardly spoke to me unless it was ‘Leave me alone, Lydia’, ‘I don’t want to see you’, ‘I could forget her if not for you’, ‘You’re just like your mother’. Meanwhile everyone is telling me how I must be such a comfort. But all I am to him is a mini version of her,” - A Mess In Multiple Dimensions

“You know…we each have two hands,” Ileana said to us. Frank asked what she meant. Ileana went on to explain all our feelings for each other. I could see a grin forming on Frank’s face, and couldn’t hide a smile of my own. - What Love Can Do

Her husband had claimed she had gone missing while out on her boat and it was assumed she had drowned. Sometimes I wonder if he knew what we’d done. - She’s Invincible (TW: non con, underage)

“Don’t you dare try to talk your way out of this. Rebecca told me absolutely everything. How you came crawling to Manderley. How you didn’t resist when she made love to you. You see, my Mrs. de Winter never kept secrets from me,” - The Dead Are Gone, They Don’t Come Back (TW: past non con)

Maxim stared at her, a baffled expression on his face. Not only had she implied that his act had been courageous, but she was wishing she had had the nerve to do what he had done? Where was this coming from? - All the Ghosts I’ve Left Behind (TW: past non con)

Hearing my name spoken aloud felt therapeutic. Back at Manderley I was almost exclusively referred to as Mrs. de Winter, people were just so formal that way, and I had ceased all attempts to correct them. Maxim had said quite a few times that he loved my name, but even he mostly called me some variation of darling. Beatrice was actually the closest to using my name, opting for the nickname Ana. It was certainly better than being called Azalea. - We Can Bring On A Future (TW: past non con)

As each day passed, Ellison read more and more of the manuscript. Mama certainly had a way with descriptions. Each room of the house, each plant, everything down to the smallest grain of sand on the beach was ingrained in Ellison’s mind as if she had been there herself. What was even more striking were what seemed to be her mother’s internal monologues. She had clearly been quite insecure. And who wouldn‘t be when one’s husband and home were so shrouded in mystery? - Memories We Hushed

[rhiawriter]

23, 24, 26 for Rory and Jess

23. Future headcanon

Does it count if I reject AYITL as canon? I see Rory and Jess finding each other in their 30's when they're both adults and have grown a lot on their own. They live together in New York, and are both writers. Eventually, I think they have one kid (a girl). They buy a summer home in Stars Hollow, so they still spend time there, and their kid is close with Lorelai and Luke, but their main life is in NYC.

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

I think for Jess early in the series there's a lot of stuff about his parents that he never talks about. But I also think he probably has a lot of secret ambition? I mean writing a novel by the time you're 21 is a huge accomplishment. That had to come from somewhere. But I think he's too afraid of failure to voice that ambition to anyone.

As for Rory, I don't know if this counts, but I feel like she's probably really hard on herself internally? We see glimpses of it sometimes in canon, but I think her inner monologue involves a lot of pressure, and feeling like she doesn't live up to her own expectations and the expectations that others put on her.

26. When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

When Jess and Rory hang out one on one, they're always just being their true selves.

And then I think for Jess it would be when he found Truncheon and got to live as a writer and create a community for himself.

Rory's probably the most herself in a classroom. I think when she's with Lorelai she's always working so hard to be a mini version of her mom, but I don't think that's her true self.

Thanks for the asks!

Character Ask Game

[existential-dread-in-the-am]

@lillybet-the-overlord you asked for this Victor please don't hate me 😅

Ok I'm writing down anything I can think of, these aren't planned around your characters so please use all the necessary creativity and then some to make anything you like better match your work.

(For the rest of you: this is my ideas for Victor's OC's possible dying words and different situations they could be spoken in. It gets very detailed so here's a general trigger warning)

I'm telling you this gets detailed. Do not read this if you're at all sensitive to any form of violence and/or injury. If you're sensitive to only some specific things they're also very probably mentioned here. Even if you're not particularly sensitive to anything specific, proceed with caution as this can still cause fears/nightmares.

Scenarios for cause of death:

Death during a physical figh

1. Characters fight together against a threat, some are lost

-> short last words, one or two words, possibly a name or 'help' or 'no' or words cut short

2. Same as 1 but the whole group dies

-> have a second character hearing these words also get injured and/or die because of the split-second distraction for extra emotional damage to reader

-> either a surprise attack or forced to fight a hopeless fight, or the tables turn on the group during something they've planned (plans gone wrong)

-> small groups work best here, otherwise too many characters

->even shorter last words (unless some characters are hiding and can actually talk) (these words can be trying to warn others or direct them but fail to do so)

-> go through each character's last moments one by one using both first person and observer perspective for max emotional damage

-> slow down your pace once you get to the last one(s?) standing. Consider adding internal monologue or even dialogue or just description of the surroundings, situation and/or emotions. Make this moment calmer and more...poetic? before you end the last character's life

3. Character vs character

-> consider having the last one(s?) captured for a time instead, you can use this character as bait for future plot points to make more characters suffer

-> one needs to be the challenger aka the one initiating violence

-> for extra emotional damage give challenger an unjust but powerful motive and favor the non-challenger's pov then have the challenger win and the non-challenger lose

->also for extra emotional damage have either one or both participants unwilling to harm the other but forced to

-> ending: for max emotional damage, two possibilities: either end it coldly and cruelly in the unjust challenger's victory with then having no sympathy for the other OR have the winner completely emotionally broken about the other's death and frantically apologising out loud or just in their mind. Alternately have the one who killed be very very gentle with the other and comfort them while they pass away

-> last words ideas:

-have the dying character try and fail to speak due to injury

-confident angry 'I won't let you win!' or 'this is for [insert anything]!' while still in good condition, immediately followed by a fatal hit full stop

-dying character pleading the other to spare [insert loved ones or their people] followed by...well. cold denial of the request and/or the other describing what's going to8 happen to them next. possibly followed by an insincere or empty 'sorry'

Post-fight death bc of injury

->> this can be followed by furious empty threats from the dying character, and then finally, silence.

1. Death by head injury

(It's almost always bc of bleeding, internal or external. Sometimes head injury or a crushed or punctured lung causes death faster but those don't leave much room for words. Bleeding leaves between a few seconds to minutes to maybe an hour of coherency depending on severity. Useful bc a character can win a fight but still drop dead immediately after)

2. Death by neck/spine injury

-> character is barely oriented and mumbling something usually not quite intelligible. Maybe reaching out for a loved one trying and trying to say their name but ultimately failing. Max impact when character falls to the ground and instantly drops dead.

-> this one's creepy. Character walks forward and moves and talks normally as if fine when they move calmly and slowly, but when they're started by something towards their side and suddenly turn to look, they drop like a stone. Dislocated neck, spinal cord permanently offline.

-> possible for character to have an entire conversation before just. dropping dead.

(This is what sometimes happens in car accidents)

3. Death by crushed/pierced lung

->results in oxygen deprivation, basically same mechanism as death by asphyxiation but slower

-> character's ability to speak is limited or gone

-> technically a human can survive on with one functioning lung but pair this with bleeding out or being stuck in a small space that keeps their chest from expanding enough, or inhaling smoke/dust, and the character is done for. There's not enough air to cough the dust out, it builds up.

->absolutely fantastic setting for character 2 trying to keep character 1 alive and telling them to not talk and trying to give hope while character 1 tries to use their remaining oxygen to get their last message out (have character 2 too upset and preoccupied with trying to save a life to focus on the message for extra emotional damage)

4. Bleeding to death

-fast:

-> a few minutes of coherency, sometimes just one. Major bones and/or arteries damaged. One example: enough damage to your thing will break both a major bone and a major artery, both enough to kill you in minutes alone, but together?

(Tip: shoulder injuries and blows to your middle can cause a surprisingly serious amount of internal bleeding)

-> the character will feel very weak and dizzy while standing up, and also lying down but less so. They won't remain standing for long.

-> enough time for a short conversation, usually about feeling unwell along the lines of 'help me' possibly followed by frantic 'I can't see what's wrong you look fine' by second character. It'll look like bruising and swelling at most in this time frame.

-> also possible to have this character's opponent/enemy sit next to them and watch them struggle against pain and eventually unconsciousness

-slow:

-> character can hide pain and dizziness for days but it worsens gradually. It'll still look like bruising

->can worsen very suddenly

->also if there's a head injury it might be nothing first then suddenly the same as part 1 a day or two later, or a gradually worsening headache possibly with problems with vision/hearing/functioning and so on

->character will likely have changed location from where they got injured, either to the company of friends or enemies. The former will likely have the character seeking help -> last words can be goodbye to them or ???? Something? While in the later scenario the character will probably be hiding their injuries to the end until they're too tired to care, depending on what kind of people we're talking about the character might either curse at them or be pleading. Possibly neither.

(Two ideas I like especially: 1. Character's last words are to a loved one who isn't there, and 2. The character's captors don't want the character to suffer/die, they didn't mean for things to go like this, they thought the character was fine -> their last conversation is between the character and their captor who's trying but failing to help)

5. All of these can be applied to accidents which cause similar injuries, the only thing that changes is who's around

-> an enemy may use an accident as an opportunity to let the character die or harm them when they're vulnerable. Example: character gets stuck under a falling tree but isn't crushed and can somewhat breathe. Character 2 then proceeds to first taunt and then stab them (examples: in the side/chest to pierce 1 lung to leave them to die slowly OR faster)

Death by illness/prolonged death by injury

->bed. They'll be where they sleep

->possibly caused by infection from injuries from a fight, or just something more mundane

->surrounded by enemies? Vs surrounded by loved ones? Completely alone?

->character will be in much discomfort and will pause to focus on surviving pain between or in the middle of sentences and words

->enough time for a conversation. Last words are likely a full sentence, they really depend on what the character's background is.

Examples:

-> 'are [insert other character(s) names] ok?' -> yes -> 'good...' *dies*

OR -> no -> 'where are they I have to get to them - I have to - to - [insert name]...' *dies*

-> (to character 2, real or imaginary) 'I'm so tired [insert name]...it hurts...I can't anymore I can't...just make it stop...' *suffers for hours unable to speak coherently anymore before finally succumbing to their condition*