#sometimes im not the best at articulating my thoughts

[daisyswift3]

The Alcott Analysis

So now that The Alcott has officially been released I wanted to do an analysis of some of the lyrics and how I think they might relate to Taylor. Disclaimer: I know Aaron said Matt wrote the main parts of the song and Taylor only added the dialogue parts so many of these connections might be a coincidence, but I also think it’s possible Taylor could have had more input on the song than they’re letting on since there are so many themes and motifs that perfectly relate back to Taylor’s music. This is just meant to be a fun clown theory

Like many others pointed out, the whole first verse is very “Help I’m still at the restaurant, still sitting in a corner I haunt, cross legged in the dim light, they say ‘what a sad sight’” and seems like the opposite pov of RWYLM

“It’s the last thing you/I wanted, it’s the first thing I/you do, I tell you that I think I’m falling back in love w/ you” // “I love you ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard” // “Uh oh I’m falling in love, oh no I’m falling in love again”

“I had to do something to break into your golden thinking” // “Lost in the labyrinth of my mind…you would break your back to make me break a smile”— this is directly related to the following ⬇️

“And there you are sitting as usual w/ your golden notebook, writing something about someone who used to be me…I sit there silently waiting for you to look up” // “Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen, time moved on for everybody else, she won’t know it, she’s still 23 inside her fantasy, how it was supposed to be…and you’re sitting in front of me” -> Taylor is stuck in her own head reminiscing and writing about the past (the golden age) and this person sitting in front of her is trying to break her out of this nostalgic escapist mindset. I think this may be a direct reference to the film Midnight in Paris which is all about nostalgia and escapism--much like the song Paris on the Midnights 3am edition--and specifically to golden age thinking, a phrase used in that film. Here are some tidbits that I think are worth noting

@chickawah23​ made a really great post about the possible Midnight in Paris connections. Here’s a screenshot from that post that does a good job summarizing the important parallels

There definitely seems to be a connection between Midnights, the stories of 13 sleepless nights, and the folklore chapters that were released in Aug 2020, specifically the sleepless nights and escapism chapters. I think it’s interesting that exile is the last track of the first chapter and first track of the second chapter--almost like the second chapter is a direct continuation of the first which again links Midnights to this escapism theme. And there’s been a lot of exile references lately (exile ends, doors, 8/3, etc)

Even though the back and forth dialogue between Taylor and Matt at first sounds argumentative, I think it could also be read in a positive way. This person is going to ruin and wreck Taylor’s plans and Taylor is going to gladly let them. She welcomes the curse on their house. “I’m begging for you to take my hand wreck my plans that’s my man” // “For you I would ruin myself a million little times” // “I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed...He’s gonna burn this house to the ground...So yeah it’s a fire it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it” // “Dear reader, burn all the files, desert all your past lives” // Taylor is the one that chooses to burn the lover house down. She’s the one holding the lighter on the Midnights album cover and striking the match in the lavender haze mv (here’s a really great post about what that might signify). Furthermore, the willow performance and description make me think that the curse on Taylor’s house was actually her own doing--she’s not only letting this person wreck her plans but is helping them do so. So the burning, wrecking, ruining, cursing/spell casting are all metaphors for the same thing—destroying Taylor’s closet and possibly her career as a result of that

Honorable mention: The beat almost sounds like a heartbeat no? Wildest Dreams??

[meownotgood]

i need someone to give us a long winded himeno analysis and i volunteer you to be tribute! i find her to be a tragic character and i believe fandom really does look at her at such surface level

I can certainly do that anon 💪 I actually already wrote a bit of an analysis for her for another anon who asked me about aki / himeno, you can find that here, but I'll for sure elaborate a little more on it

first of all, I don't blame people for not liking her, if you dislike her or hate her that's fine. honestly, even I don't really like her that much, but I appreciate the way that she's written and her impact on the story as a whole. I think she's written very well, and she's a very tragic and often misunderstood character.

and I don't blame people for only seeing her at surface level, either — I feel like a lot of chainsaw man fans speed read the manga or just didn't analyze much of what they were reading, so they formed their opinions quickly or based them on what they've seen other people say. which there's no problem with that, mind you, I just feel like a lot of aspects of himeno's character (other characters fall victim to this too, like denji and makima) often get overlooked by readers, or get dumbed down to an insane degree.

in my opinion, himeno is one of the most realistic characters in chainsaw man. she embodies everything that I imagine for a real person to do when faced with the horrible world chainsaw man takes place in, as well as the grim reality of devil hunting. she distracts herself with cigarettes, drinking, and sex, she sports a bubbly and flirty personality to hide her true personality and her sorrows.

after losing countless of her buddies, taking beatings and ridicule from the families of those buddies, and bearing witness to so much grief and death in her life, she's become numb — this is why she chooses to use vices to "take the edge off". she ends up not caring much for her life or her well-being, but this changes when she ends up meeting aki.

when we see himeno's first interaction with aki, she's a very different person. she's cold, seeming to only care about whether or not aki will prove to be useful. the fact that she cares so much for him is why she was able to keep going, but it also ended up becoming her undoing.

she spent so long throwing away her life, smoking and drinking, but after she met aki, she wanted the two of them to live a longer life. she started caring for her own well-being again, as well as his. she asks aki if he would move to the civilian sector with her, which has much less dangerous devils, and she writes in her letters to her sister about how she wants to find a way to convince aki to quit. we can even see how she cares about his well-being when she tells him not to use his sword because she knows it will cut away at his life span.

aki cared for her safety, too; he was willing to use his contract with the curse devil, sacrificing his life span and risking everything to fight katana man in order to keep her safe. and in the end, she ends up being the one to give up her life for him.

in a way, it's bittersweet, because after meeting so many devil hunters who are numb and jaded, after practically becoming that type of devil hunter herself, himeno finally found someone who wasn't like that — someone who actually cared about her life, and would cry for her if she died. I wouldn't exactly say that himeno was happy when she was dying, but I think she definitely found peace in that fact, in the thought of aki caring enough about her to cry for her.

I think himeno initially became very attached to aki because after losing so many people, she wanted more than anything to see him live. and I think that attachment to him eventually grew into romantic feelings, which aki didn't come to realize (most likely because he was under makima's influence) until well after she died. I think himeno also grew to like aki after seeing his more vulnerable side, and the way that he cries for people who have died, even rookies who he barely even knew. I think in another reality, they could have been more than just partners, but as it stands, I feel as if they had more of a mentor and student type of relationship.

fujimoto said that himeno and aki were originally intended to be siblings, and I think remnants of that can be found in their relationship and interactions — himeno was certainly in love with aki at one point, but aki saw her more like his superior. as someone he definitely cares deeply for and respects, but sees as more of a colleague than a romantic interest.

also, I want to mention how some of my favorite lines in chainsaw man come from himeno: "how can I get aki to quit?" is such a good line. himeno was the only person left that was keeping aki grounded, and keeping him from throwing his life away in pursuit of his goal, so when she died, there was no-one to hold him back from making contracts with devils or from putting his full focus on collecting pieces of the gun devil. aki mentions how he's stopped looking at himself objectively, because if he did, he'd be unable to continue. himeno was there to give him a sense of reason, so without her, he fully succumbs to the path he's chosen to walk down.

I also appreciate the whole concept with "easy revenge", and what aki giving into it means for his character development as a whole

also "aki can cry" and "don't die aki, cause when I die, I want you to cry" are such good lines, I don't know what else to say about them besides they give me chills every time

[honeytonedhottie]

ways to look after ur mental well being⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧋

mental health is definitely the most important thing that u should work on and prioritize in everyday life so here r some ways that u can look after urself ✨🗒️💕

PEN AND PAPER ;

pen and paper is ur best friend, being able to articulate ur thoughts and get them down on paper is a great way to practice self awareness and is a good skill to have in general.

its best not to keep things harbored or bottled up in ur mind and if ur looking to get into therapy a great place to start getting comfy with ur emotions and thoughts is journalling.

this includes things like keeping a diary, doing shadow work, or prompted journalling. just being able to get comfortable and aware of whats going on in ur head is rly good for you.

CHECK-UPS ;

make a habit of checking up on yourself to make sure that ur doing everything that u need to be doing to function at ur best, to make sure that ur feeling okay and making adequate time for you.

some rly good ways to have little check-ups is just preparing some questions to ask urself sometimes (how do i feel?) is the most basic one but asking urself that does help put ur feelings into perspective.

METICULOUS ;

oftentimes, when we neglect our physical care, we can start to feel the effects of that in our mental health and our mood which is why i think that self care is such a major aspect in mental health.

sometimes when we hit rock bottom in our mental health/healing journey, doing self care can seem tedious and like a daunting task. its important to prepare an alternate routine for times like this when u absolutely MUST do a little something.

to find a good place to start i recommend my posts : the feel better formula. 🍰💗

KEEP A BOOKLET OF REMEDIES ;

sometimes it makes me feel better if i have a little booklet that tells me how to treat symptoms that i might feel, whether thats physical or mental. doing so makes me feel like i have a plan. some notes from my little booklet of remedies include

cuz sometimes, all your missing in ur mental health equation is one thing and its important to know urself and what u need, bcuz you are your own best doctor sometimes.

ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS ;

sometimes we need to be uncomfortable to be comfortable. some questions or some things that i wanna come to terms with/when i need to call myself out on something. THATS LOWKEY UNCOMFORTABLE.

when im doing shadow work and digging deep, THATS UNCOMFORTABLE. but its what needs to be done in order for me to move forward on my journey as a person.

with all this being said its important to never lose sight of urself and to be ur biggest protector, look out for yourself, do what u need to do to heal, HAPPY HEALING JOURNEY GIRLIES ✨

[silverbladexyz]

HIII I JUST WANTED TO SAY I LOVED UR UNREQUITED LOVE FICS I ATE THOSE UP SO GOOD

this isnt a request btw just some food for thought but how do u think chuuya and yasuko would react if reader came back but they werent exactly. themselves yk? like they got revived but almost like a sentient doll with no memories of the past? do you think they would leave the reader alone or would they try to reconnect with the reader ? again this isnt a request im just curious because sometimes my daydreams take a sudden turn !!! :D

HIII ANON AJSSHHSH AND I LOVE YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY BETTER 🥺🥺💞

And oooh... actually, I have already been thinking about making a bonus part similiar to your idea :) I just haven't had the time and creativeness to write it recently since school is keeping me very busy😭

BUT in response to your question, I think Chuuya might initially keep his distance from the reader first. Partly because he blames himself for their death because he didn't finish his mission sooner, and also partly because he doesn't want to lose them again. It hurts him a lot, but he convinces himself that it's the best decision to make to keep reader safe. However, I can see him secretly keeping a close eye on them so that if they were in danger, he could save them this time and not make the same mistake twice (Chuuya honey it wasn't your fault ajshahs 😭)

Then after bumping into him a few times, you wonder sometimes; why does this ginger-haired man seem so achingly familiar? And why did you feel this pain in your heart whenever you looked at him? Almost as if... he was a past lover you never got to be together with. But you shrug it off; there was no way you could've known such a handsome and rich man in your life, because if you did, you'd be sure to remember him for eternity ashajhhasj

Whilst Yasuko would feel immensely guilty upon seeing you. Even as you tilt your head to innocently inquire what was wrong, she can't bring herself to articulate all the shame, sorrow, and remorse that she felt ever since the day you died. I can see her accidentally forming a sort-of friendship with your revived self, but also keeping you at an arm's length because she thinks that she doesn't deserve to even call you as her friend. Half of her wants to atone for the wrongdoings she committed against you in the past, but the other half wants her to suffer with your unawareness because it's all her fault that you were gone. However, I can totally see her trying to get you and Chuuya together in this life 👀 wingwoman Yasuko for the win

Anyways, I can see both of them keeping their distance while also trying to rekindle those pleasant memories with you. But sooner or later, you'll come to question why they treated you differently from the rest of their friends. And when you confront them about it, maybe then you'll finally learn the painful truth as it all pours out of Yasuko's lips. What you do afterwards is all up to you.

WHEWW sorry for making that kinda angsty :') but hey, at least reader has a chance with Chuuya now. Just that they'll have to break down all those walls he has formed around himself, and finally win his heart that their past self never got the chance to hold. While Yasuko, Dazai, and the PM will be wingmanning the entire way.

I hope this was able to answer your question anon! :D

[redditreceipts]

hi, I’m not sure how to word this right…I’m a transmasculine (NOT TRANSMALE) woman, it’s hard to explain exactly what it means but that’s the closest I’ve gotten, gnc works too I guess though doesn’t fully articulate it.

But I’ve identified as a lot of things since a really early age, generally always circling back to a trans man. Im a survivor of sexual abuse/exploitation, and I would always find myself identifying as the “stereotypical feminine woman” when I was in a worse state and wanted to be objectified, then identifying as a trans male when I wanted to be treated like a human. I figured this meant trans-manhood was what was really right for me, that womanhood was something I only went to as self harm, but recently I thought “would I want to be a man if women were treated like people too” and I realized I wouldn’t.

I support transgender and transsexual rights fully, but I really wish that there was more acknowledgment of sexism. Not just misogyny…sexism.

I thought I was above misogyny, but I’m only recently realizing at age 19 that I didn’t view women as human the way I viewed men as human, and I felt this way because of how I’ve been treated as a female all my life. The way people treat you from birth goes beyond anything a male could comprehend, and it’s so engrained that no one even notices it. We’re not allowed to express emotions or opinions because it’s “too much” and we’re “too loud” especially if we’re not white (which I’m not), we have to do so much more work to be considered an equal by men, we’re talked about in society as objects to be obtained rather than living breathing complex humans, we’re not given margin for error like men are, we’re held to higher standards, we’re constantly forced to prove ourselves in every single capacity in a way men never have to, we’re treated as objects and toys and constantly referred to only with degrading misogynist slurs, we’re aborted for our sex and not given the same education as male classmates and shut out of conversations and objectified before we can even walk, When it’s laid out like that, yeah it’s no wonder so many women (myself included) feel like manhood is the key to humanity. Because It is. Because in society there are people and women, and the current queer community is all too comfortable to bulldoze over this oppression and pretend there’s no such thing as sexism because acknowledging that means challenging their “everyone is valid uwu” shit. Im not saying there aren’t just actual trans men, of course there are, but come on.

Hey :) sorry for the late answer, I've been a bit busy so yeah

I think I kinda get what you mean when you say that you are transmasculine, and I personally think that if that's the best word to describe it, you should go for it! Identity is always a personal matter. I would however argue that identity does not override material reality, and in political terms, we are defined by our biological sex, amongst other things :)

And yes, you are so right when you say that there should be more of an acknowledgement of sexism in the trans community! Women are seen as subhuman, and a woman has to do much more than a man to just be considered a person. That is especially true in the intersection with race and sex.

And well, the trans gender community relies on upholding gender. How many transmasculine people do you see being annoyed when they're being called "she", and they say stuff like "You're calling me she? With my short hair? Dressed like this??"

the recognition of a member of one sex as a member of the opposite sex is much, much harder without gender steretoypes. Abolishing gender leaves us with the cold, hard reality of the oppression of the female sex. I feel like gender is all the pretty fluff and mystification of a brutal truth: Women are seen as less than human.

And yes, I also sometimes feel like I have to be super androgynous to be considered human. But I'm not, and trying to change your sex instead of changing the oppressive systems is like trying to be straight instead of challenging homophobia.

Anyways, I'm glad you're here :) Here's a cat with an octopus on it's head for you :)

[miguelswifey04]

i hope yk you’re literally one of my favorite writers on here<3 i hope you don’t mind im requesting again😭✋

i was thinking kf miguel’s past, especially in the comic runs and i feel like many people sort of skirt past the fact that he literally has ex girlfriends and i feel like that could be grounds for some jealous!reader👀

i don’t know how to articulate my thoughts on this but i was wondering what your hcs would be in such a situation where the reader is jealous asf 😃😃

BFJDJD TBANK YOU AO MUCH YOURE LITERALLY THE BEST

jealous! reader IS SOOOO ME LMFAO

miguel o’hara x jealous! s/o reader hcs

you feel the need to be very assertive if someone is crossing miguel’s boundaries or trying to hit on him, YOU LITERALLY PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE YOU DO NOT CARE IF IT CAUSES A SCENE OR NOT. so miguel has to stop you and carry you away (literally) poor miguel he’s kinda embarrassing but still puts up with you 😭

you protective nature can come off as possessive sometimes so miguel tells you to take it down a notch and you do, you apologize to him and he accepts your apology always…definitely reassures you that you have nothing to worry about <3

he says he has eyes for you and only you but you usually be like “do you really? like actually?” and he’ll be “yes i’m serious,” and if you still don’t “believe” him…he’ll spoil you and show you in different love languages that he does love you and only you

you may give sharp glares, cross your arms, or create physical distance between miguel and whoever has caught your attention 💀

you express your jealousy verbally!! you aren't afraid to speak up and let miguel know when you're feeling insecure or uneasy.

you regularly remind miguel how much he means to you and how lucky he is to have you. you express your love and affection in heartfelt words, reaffirming the strength of your bond. your jealousy doesn't stem from insecurity but rather from your deep investment in the relationship.

spending quality time with miguel is extremely important to you so every time he’s done playing spider-man, he’ll come by and swoop you up for a date or just to be with you :3

suggestive you may leave love bites or hickies as a subtle way of marking him as your own. it’s your way of stating to the world that he belongs to you and you alone.

he’ll pepper your face with tender kisses, whispering sweet words to assure you that he only has eyes for you.

jealousy can stem from little things, like someone looking at him for too long or a seemingly innocent conversation with another person. you may not always show it openly, but your eyes darken with a touch of jealousy that can be both intriguing and intimidating.

tags 🏷️!! @kairiscorner @meeom @astro1bloom @obi-mom-kenobi @emiemiemiii @sabcandoit

[ashlynbannerofficial]

How do you feel about each one of your friends individually? Like opinions and such. Tyler answered this earlier and I think it would be interesting to hear different responses as well as his :)

ah well

im not the best at articulating my emotions but i can try

taylor is really sweet, and i love her so much. she puts in the effort to make sure my voice is heard despite how quiet i am and it really means alot to me. i appreciate her a lot

i love talking with logan, hes very well articulated and i feel like he just is a genuinely good person i want to surround myself with. i admire him, actually

i feel safe with ben. i feel like i can be my real self around him and he will have that persons back no matter what. i think hes an amazing person and i want to be better friends with him, but sometimes i get nervous about interacting with him

tyler is harder to explain. i give him a lot of shit for a lot of different things, but its not like i dont care about him. i do, i really do. i admire his work ethic and hes much more responsible and down to earth than i initially thought. he loves his family more than anything, and above all he has my respect for that. even though sometimes i want to pull his hair out, i am loyal to tyler

i guess that leaves aiden-

i dont know how to describe how i feel about aiden.

i know i trust aiden. i trust him with more than i should. trying to describe how i feel about him is like describing sunsets. i like sunsets, i like to go outside and sit in their presence, feeling the fading warmth on my skin. i feel safe in the dimming light. and sometimes i get scared after the sunset leaves, like i wont see it again. it makes me sad. but i always know that no matter what the sunset will return tomorrow, just as beautiful as it always is.

aiden reminds me of a sunset, i guess

[epicsauce]

pleeease keep talking about toys...i think this is interesting and smth i've never thought too hard about but it makes sense and i like to hear your opinions on modern toys

(ask pertaining to this post)

holy shit okay !! i would love to ramble on so, i shall!

okay im no expert on toy sales history, this is all just observation from my life experiences and i'll try to keep each part i want to go over relatively short!

that being said lets start with a small one that i've personally noticed as a canadian: Kinder egg toys! i remember when they used to come with like 4-8+ pieces, and you needed the included step by step manual to assemble them. they would often come with sticker sheets to decorate them with, and they would often be articulated or be set on wheels or have some sort of fun or movement or general functionality to them:

dont those look awesome? wrapped in 2 kinds of chocolate, and for only like 2$! i remember they would come in all shapes and sizes, all sorts of animals and vehicles and sometimes freaky little abominations, as you can see above, and sometimes even puzzles! they were such a special treat as a kid.

but kinder eggs now? come with a maximum of like 3 pieces that just snap together (usually the front and back of the toy, and then the platform they stand on). and thats all they mostly are now, stiff toys that stand on platforms wahhooooo yippeee

idk just look at the quality difference from the old ones above compared to some of the new ones:

like..... these are..... nothing! literally nothing. just a figure snapped to a pole/platform and thats it! not very interesting for more than 3 minutes max.

now i know what you're thinking: "not ALL of the old kinder toys had to have been bangers" and you'd be right, some were lame as hell, but even the lame ones from before look more intricate than the ones we have now, like can you see what i mean, just detail-wise?

it just feels so cheap and shitty, i could go on and on but more is explained later. point is, it sucks.

anyway that's a very small example and we can move onto bigger and better ones, and maybe even one that everyone else might have noticed by now; McDonald's toys! remember when they were actually toys?

and not just stiff figurines?

(the minions franchise was like CRACK for companies who love making profit off of nothing but stiff rounded plastic. probably the cheapest form of "toy" i can think of)

and yeah, again, its not like there werent figurines back in the day too, there's ALWAYS been lame as hell mcdonalds toys, but looking among many modern mcdonalds toys, you dont see anything as cool as the old ones. literally every major modern movie/franchise right now is nothing but figurines. the most recent actually interactive mcd's toy ive seen is when they collabed with hasbro games

again, companies just seem to be pumping out quantities over quality.

but why?

well, for starters toys are becoming cheaper (both in price and quality) because prices have sky rocketed and stores are forced to only stock cheaper things, therefore the cheap things sell the most, and then more of them get made, and statistics get fucked, etc etc the cycle repeats.

but toy companies know one thing, and that's that things that are "cuter" always sell more. "cuter" being used with vitriol because their idea of 'cute' is 'more glitter and sparkles and rainbow colours and obnoxiousness' oh, and dont forget the huge soulless bug eyes on all of them!

i know that people love these things, but theyre so..... uncanny. their stare is piercing, their stance is so stiff, i always felt bad actually playing with the only one of these i had growing up, and not just because it freaked me out, it just genuinely didnt feel good to play with.

and i knoowwwww people are obsessed with these things, but come on, you have to admit theyre SO unoriginal! theyre just cookie cutter shapes!

these things are horrifying and, at best, belong on a shelf.

these "beany boos" are so woobified and almost feel like a flanderized version of a stuffed animal, and they've completely taken over "beanie babies", which were wonderful soft little things that actually had movement and weren't stiff to cuddle! I also feel like they're almost trying to copy what webkinz was, in a way, as some of those were stiff too (but still loveable and not burdened with an uncanny, vacant stare)

anyway this is getting insanely long and im sorry but i feel like im going insane every time i see new toys nowadays. the like.... "cuteification" of everything is driving me insane, and the fact that they are simply just lower quality than what we used to get, because of prices rising and causing easy-to-make things to become more and more popular.

examples to further prove these points:

extreme woobifying or "cuteification" by almost completely removing all horse anatomy in favour of thin limbs, heavy makeup eyes that are now on the front of her face, and modern influencer eyebrows. on a horse.

and the extreme-simplifying of toys can be seen quite well on those mini polly pocket sets!! see this one here?

almost allllll of those little plastic things could be rotated or rearranged or moved or fucked with in some manner, it was awesome. i loved these miniature houses they always came with so much shit. wanna guess what the newer ones look like?

you guessed it, like shit!!

man even beyblades used to come with like, all sorts of different pieces both metal and plastic alike, and you had to assemble them yourself and you could interchange pieces to obtain a different weight which would affect your attacks against other beyblades, etc etc:

and looking at them now? they seem to be mostly made of- yep, you guessed it, hard cheap plastic.

anyway holy shit i literally reached the 30 image limit on a single post tumblr really said thats ENOUGH !! i cant believe i just spent that long talking about the worlds most pointless thing but at any rate i hope you enjoyed it and i hope you see my vision. because like i said im not insanely knowledgeable on any of this in particular, but its hard not to notice the decline in quality of all of todays modern toys.

[delululand]

who send that txt’s red and green flags? u r a godsent! id like to add something on red flags since we all know the members are waving green flags 🤭

sb - i think one of his red flags would be fickleness? idk if i would be able to explain it well but he mentioned before that he hates being adult because of responsibilities. based on that, i can see him expressing his feelings toward the other person but then suddenly backing out because he suddenly feels overwhelmed with the thought of responsibilities that comes with relationship. he likes the person but he might be indecisive on whether he is ready to commit or not. (Not saying this is really him but just a possibility based on what ive observed with those type of ppl)

yj - fixer. sometimes he might be too focused on fixing whatever he thinks need fixing on his partner and that can be really annoying. while his moon in libra and mars in sagittarius might help him be ‘chill’.. that leo and virgo combination is no joke.

bg -u’ve said it right. it is his pettiness that can be a red flag. also the lack of communication with manipulative tendencies! if he’s the wrong one, he will have no trouble apologizing. he’s nice that way. but if his partner is the wrong one? yea good luck. he’d disappear and will make sure to make them feel guilty for it until they’re on their knees— 😶

tyun - im inlove with him so much im willing to ignore 🚩.. kidding! look, i’ve seen his chart and a lot of his personal planets r making aspect to his sun which made me think that his ego (sun) plays a huge role in his life and will definitely be one of his red flag. rn we see tyun mature side right? but i feel like anything that will hit his ego so hard can make the vicious side of him come out. his aries mars makes him easily reactive to those things. when he’s triggered, the only way to calm him down is to leave him alone.

hyuka - low self-esteem. among the members, he’s the one with a really low self esteem (all of them have but his goes deeper) im not gonna explain much other than it’s not really pleasant with these type of ppl. u gotta be strong or else they’ll drag u down with them. he’s a leo.. a leo with a healthy self esteem r the best and i know that hyuka will eventually get there.

that’s all. i dont think im able to explain my thoughts well😭 but lemme know what u think?

+ anyways i truly miss reading ur posts! and saw that enhypen’s post too! i love it!! would it possible to request one for txt too? thank u 😄

- ur fellow intp 💙

OMGGGG I WANNA SAY SO MUCH

first i love your mind soooo much, second you’re so good in astrology

i absolutely agree with your opinion about soobin, this is one of the things that I thought about but couldn’t articulate it. in my opinion he is quite mature and he is the leader of the group which makes him mature even more, but it seems like that is enough for him? like, on the one hand, it’s not that he’s not mature for a relationship, but rather he’s just not ready to take responsibility yet. + he said that he is not the kind of person who would lead a relationship or plan something and therefore would just agree with everything that his girlfriend wants, but this is also literally an abdication of responsibility to some extent. so, in my opinion, he either doesn’t want to take on extra responsibility because he’s tired of responsibility at work, or he’s not ready for it due to his young age, or he’s just that kind of person (but actually i think it affects everything together and may change with age, like i don’t think that he will be a person who will become a super leader in a relationship, but at least he will be okay with the responsibility that comes with the appearance of a relationship)

yeonjun yes and beomgyu absolutely yes. if he has a fight with his partner and the partner says something offensive to him, they won’t get away with just an apology, and for some reason i think that if it really hurt him, he would remember it every time in all next fights. and also sometimes he likes to do something like checks? like that time when he blocked taehyun to see if he would come to wish him a happy birthday

taehyun yes too and + soobin said that taehyun often gets offended that he doesn’t share his feelings and this can also be in some ways a red flag for people who have difficulty sharing feelings or who just don’t like it

speaking of kai, i understood what you mean and this is really true, but it is in him that it manifests itself as not being so burdensome for other people? like i mean my work in korea was partly related to this area and i could see and sometimes communicate with different musicians/actors/dancers and other media personas and one of the most surprising things is when you look at them you think “wow this person is so cool, they are beautiful, they are smart, they are interesting personas, they have good singing/dancing/whatever skills” but when communicating with these people, most of them have very low self-esteem but they don’t seem to focus on it. i don’t know how to explain this more correctly, but it’s like the difference between people who due to low self-esteem really pull people around them to the bottom and people for whom it’s like something background that you might not even recognize right away. but idk whatever i hope kai can handle with this and it seems he has already changed for the better

and thank you so much for writing this!!! if you don’t mind i’ll leave a link to this in main post, people should see this too!

[nessieart]

Teeth pt. 3

Characters: Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Peter Parker, Shifter!Reader

Eventual Tony x Reader, slow burn?

WC: ~3.9k (it got away from me sorry!)

AN: Holy moly a pt3? I’ve really been enjoying writing, and I'm just trying to keep it going because at the end of the day its for me, and if you’re along for the journey then I'm glad you’re here reading, too.

Warnings: Canon divergent sorta cause i love peter so much. Cursing, no y/n used, canon level violence?, made up fantasy stuff most likely.

Summary: You try to explain who and what you are to the group.

<<Previous

-**--

There's a silence that lingers longer than you'd like. It drags on for a few minutes after Peter leaves. You feel like everyone is holding their breath, waiting for something to happen. You shift on your feet, the Captains still standing behind you, but he removed his hand from your shoulder.

You looked at him over your shoulder, "I'm sorry for my outburst, Captain," you spoke softly. "I can't guarantee it won't happen again, but in my defense, it is close to the full moon."

You tried to smile a little, to ease the tension in the room.

"Please, call me Steve," he released a deep breath you're sure he wasn't aware he was holding, and returned your smile. "You wouldn't mind telling us a bit about yourself, maybe? Where are you from, how did you get here?" Steve gestures his arms out wide, probably in a general sense of New York and not the Tower.

You look from Stark to Dr Banner. The former sweeps his hand out for you to continue.

With a heavy sigh you move and sit down on a chair closest to you. It's squishy and comfortable, not something you'd associate with a Billionaires taste in furniture. Style and function over comfort.

You fidget with your hands in your lap while you gather your thoughts. No use keeping it all back now.

"I'm from an area outside Sedona, Arizona," you start, still looking at your hands on your lap. "I was born in 1923." You hear a choking noise from across the room, looking up you see Stark cough into the new glass of scotch he poured.

"I-Im sorry?" Stark says, placing his drink down, "you look like you're 25!" His hands articulate around him like he can't fathom it.

"Yeah, and so does he," you point to Steve.

"But I was on ice for 70 years," Steve tilts it head to the side, eyebrows drawn down in question.

You shrug, "I'm supernatural. Shifters and werebeings and things like that live really long lives. Usually."

"You said, 'usually', what's another factor?" Dr Banner speaks up this time. He's moved across the room to sit on the edge of the couch across from you.

"Untimely death," you say. "Sometimes if a supernatural being forms a bond with a human so strong they tend to have the human's lifespan." Your fidgeting is back, out of the corner of your

eye you see Steve make his way to the couch where Dr Banner is.

You take another breath before continuing, "My papa was a shifter, my ma was a human. When my mother died Papa died not too long after." You see the sadness in Steve's eyes, Dr Banner gives you a sad smile. Stark's looking down at his drink in his hands. You know people aren't foreign to loss, and you can see it on all three of the men's faces in the room. "After Papa died, it was just my brother's and I," you continue. "I had four older brothers, me, and two younger brothers. Out of the 7 of us, only one was human. My youngest brother, Arthur, we all called him Artie," you smile a bit at the memory of your family. "He was 16 when he was drafted into the army..." your trail off, looking out the window instead.

"I lost my best friend while overseas, fighting back HYDRA," Steve says softly. He’s leaning forward with his arms resting on his knees. "He fell from a train and I couldn't do anything but watch him fall," he's gripping his hands together so tight his knuckles are white. "I used to question what was the use of me getting the serum if I couldn't even save the one person that meant more to me than anyone else in the world..." Steve heaves a sigh, he's looking at you now, his gaze unwavering. The bright blue of his eyes are startling.

"I was told I was always meant for more. And then I crashed that plane into the Arctic, and woke up a year ago. I lost everyone I ever cared about in the blink of an eye for me."

"I'm so sorry, Steve," you say. And you mean it, "My brother Artie is still alive, he has a family and lives in Oregon. He's a grandfather with 4 grandkids." You get up and pace a little, making your way over to Stark. "I haven't seen him in almost 20 years."

He looks up from his glass, when you stop in front of him. "I'd make a Twilight joke, but I really don't want you to bite me," Stark says. He watches as you take the glass from his hands and bring it to your lips, downing the rest of the contents. You can tell it's expensive, the scotch is smooth going down and only burns a little at the end. You hand the glass back to Stark, his face is blank and you can't tell what he's thinking.

You lick your lips to get the rest of the scotch off, and his eyes track the movement. For a moment you two stare at each other, Stark breaks eye contact first, clearing his throat he taps the light you just noticed in the middle of his chest.

"My parents died in a car accident when I was younger," Stark says quietly, he avoids your gaze for a moment, still tapping at the light in his chest. You think it might be a nervous tick of his.

"I'm sorry," you tell him, hedging away and going back to your chair near Steve and Banner. Stark hums in acknowledgement, he seems lost in thought for a moment.

"What about the rest of your brothers?" Banner asks.

"I have a twin, I'm 12 minutes older than him," you smile slightly, "always used to make fun of him for it. His name's Leon. My younger brothers and I are the only ones still alive."

"What happened?" It was Stark who spoke up, he was standing behind the couch where Steve and Banner sat. His question was soft, so was his gaze.

"Hunters," was all you said. Spitting the word out like venom. Your hands balling into fists in your lap. You didn't notice yourself get so angry you were growling until a hesitant hand was on your knee. Your head shot up and you were staring at Stark. Whiskey colored eyes staring at you, his face full of concern. He's sitting on the coffee table in front of you

You took a deep breath and relaxed your hands, there was blood on your nails from when your claws dug into your palms, the wounds already closing.

"I'm -"

"If you say sorry one more time I'll throw a fit," Stark tries to joke to lighten the mood. His hands still on your knee when you nod at him, grateful to not have to go into detail about your other siblings.

"Why don't we call it a night?" Steve's the one to speak up now, he stands, and tilts his head towards you. You agree with a nod, and Stark squeezes your knee a little before he stands up and backs away.

You stand and wrap your arms around yourself, "I want to thank you for listening to my story," you speak softly. "Steve, Dr Banner," you nod at each of the men. And then you look at Stark, "Stark."

"I think after all that you can call me Bruce," he smiles at you as he puts his hands in his pants pockets. You hum in agreement.

Stark makes his way to the elevators, followed by Steve and Bruce, he looks back at you, "C'mon Big Bad, I'll show you to your room." The lift on the right dings open and all three men step inside. You follow after a moment.

Steve's standing at parade rest in the center of the elevator, oh yeah definitely a military man. Bruce is to his right and next to him stands Stark. You stand next to Steve in the corner on his left. The doors close and you're left in silence as the elevator descends.

Being in this close proximity to them all the smells are jumbled and mixed together. You can pick out Steve fairly easily, after he gave you that bear hugging grip earlier you remember his scent. You don't realize you're leaning into him until he clears his throat.

You jump back, " I, uh, sorry. You smell like a forest. It's nice," you're acutely aware that your face is bright red as you look down at your feet.

Steve chuckles lightly, "It's alright. Good to know I don't smell terrible." He's grinning at you when you look up at him. He's also sporting a slight blush, the tips of his ears are red as well. You smile up at him.

“Does everyone have a different smell to you?” Bruce asks, he looks around Steve to you.

You nod, you’ve never really had to explain it before, “You know, hm. Damn, this might be harder to explain than I thought.” The elevator dings again, and the doors open.

“Maybe you can explain it tomorrow?” Bruce asks, him and Steve exiting the lift together. You smile and nod. They bid you and Stark farewell and goodnight before the doors close again.

You’re not sure where you’ll be staying until the doors open again only a few floors down. Stark motions for you to exit before him and he follows you out into a large living area. The couch in the center of the room is sunken into the floor, the comfiest couch is littered with blankets and pillows. The space looks well lived in, there's a fireplace across the couch on the right wall, and above it is a large flatscreen tv. The floor to ceiling windows are on the far side of the living space across from the wall the elevator is on. There's a kitchenette on the far side as well. To your left is a hallway, it looks like there’s 3 doors down that way.

You take a big inhale, getting used to the space, and you’re hit with that bubblegum scent here. It’s all over the space. You light up and smile, “Peter,” is all you say when you look at Stark.

He hums, “Yeah. This is where the kid stays when he’s here at the Tower. Usually on the weekends.” Starks rocking back on his heels with his hands in his pockets. “I hope this is okay, for you to stay in while you’re here.” He rubs the back of his neck with his hand. Was he nervous?

“This is more than enough,” you say. “I can’t remember the last time I stayed somewhere as nice or as big as this,” you look around the room. “Actually, I can't remember the last time I stayed indoors.” You go to move towards the couch, you really wanted to get comfy and get under those blankets.

“There's three rooms down the hall, the one on the right is Peet’s,” Stark supplies, “the other two are fair game. Basic clothing, toiletries, etc. Help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen.” He isn't looking at you while he speaks. In fact, he hedged his way back towards the elevator while you weren’t looking. It makes you upset that he’s suddenly uncomfortable around you. A small whine escapes you before you could stop it, he looks at you then. Eyes a little wide and brows furrowed.

“I uh, sorry,” you say, fidgeting your fingers together, “You, um, n-never mind. I’ll figure it all out.”

Stark nods, “J, make sure she has everything she needs,” he says to the ceiling. The AI responds in affirmation. Stark says your name as the elevator doors open. The lights from the lift cast his form in a silhouette, and he bids you a goodnight.

“Thank you, Stark,” you say with a wave.

“Call me Tony,” he calls as the doors close and there's a quiet ding.

You’re left on your own in a space that lingers with the faintest hint of cedar and cut grass.

–*--

You’re hesitant to speak to the AI, not used to talking to yourself out loud, and having something that responds back. You make your way towards the rooms instead and check to see if Peter’s was open.

You push the door open and inside is the biggest bed you've ever seen, the sheets and comforter are rumpled and well used, there's socks and shirts and gym shorts on the floor and hanging out of the hamper next to a door on the left wall. That door leads to an ensuite bathroom, all of Peter's ’s toiletries are strewn about.

You take it upon yourself to straighten things out, cleaning off the sink and countertop, arranging the bottles around nicely, removing his dirty laundry and putting them in the baskets by the door. You tidy up the shower stall as well, placing the soaps and shampoos away.

You’re tempted to take one yourself, but decide to finish cleaning up Peter’s room. You're not sure when you'll see him next and want his space to be nice when he returns. After the bed is made and the dirty laundry is away in baskets, you check the wardrobe, there's a few shirts and hoodies hung up and drawers full of undergarments and socks and shorts.

You grab the largest hoodie there, it's well worn, big, red, and smells like detergent. You also grab some boxer briefs until you can clean your own clothes. You shed your dirty clothes and put them to the side, and turn on the shower. The room is steamy when you step into the shower stall, the water temperature perfect and you sigh in relief. It sure beats washing up in a fountain or stream in Central Park.

The soaps and shampoo feel nice as you lather them. You'll have to ask Stark for some unscented soaps, but for now these will do fine.

After drying off you put the oversized hoodie on, which reaches just above your knees, along with the boxer briefs. It's warm and cozy, and you see why Peter keeps it. You gather your dirty clothes and put them near the couch in the living area. This couch has been calling your name since you walked into the space earlier.

You arrange the blankets just right in the middle of the giant couch, and shift into your overly large coyote form. It was easier shifting this close to the full moon than during any other moon phase. You make yourself comfortable in the blankets and hoodie as you are sent into a fast and deep sleep.

–*--

You aren't aware of how you came out of your slumber, but there's a weight next to you and someone's hand softly running over your head, and down to your shoulder blades. It repeats again, the same languid motion of being petted. And then you let out a purr, it's low and rumbles in your chest and you sink further into the affection.

Inhaling deeply you smell citrus and bubblegum, which isn't a surprise because you're in Peter’s living space after all. But it's stronger now and then you hear a chuckle.

With a yelp you spring off the couch, blue eyes wide as you stare at Peter.

He's trying not to laugh too hard, “Oh no! Sorry I woke you,” he says between giggles. “I didn’t know you could turn when it's not the full moon! That’s so cool. And you’re really soft, I couldn't help it.”

You huff, prancing back over to where Peter's sitting on the couch, and flump down next to him. He’s grinning down at you as you put your head in his lap, and he raises his hand back to scratch behind your ears. You didn't realize how touch starved you were until Peter started lazily petting you again, the purr you let out was loud now and you plan on soaking up the affection for as long as he’ll allow.

The lift door dings, but you can’t hear it while Peter tells you about school, his aunt, and his friends. Every sentence feels long and run together with how fast and enthusiastic he speaks. But you don't mind, you really like Peter. He reminds you so much of your younger brothers when you were kids.

“Well, that's not something you see everyday,” Stark says after a moment, he has an amused look on his face. He’s standing behind the couch where you and Peter are. How did you not notice him coming in? “Comfy Wile E.?” That dumb smirk is on his face and there's a twinkle in his honeyed brown eyes.

You grumble as best you can, grabbing the hoodie and boxers in your mouth and trotting out of the room into Peter’s bedroom. You shift back to human and put the clothes on before you return into the living area a few moments later. Peter’s pouting looking up at Stark, the latter has his back to you when you come in.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up,” you comment dryly, “like i haven't heard that before.”

They turn to look at you, Peter still has a slight pout, and as Stark looks you over you hear a sharp intake of breath, there's a slight blush that rises to his cheeks and he clears his throat as he stands to his full height.

“Bruce is in the lab,” Stark says, “wanted to know if you, uh, wanted to do whatever it is you do.” He gestures around you vaguely.

“You could’ve told JARVIS and we would have made our way up,” pipes up Peter, his arms are crossed over the back of the couch, and his head is resting on his arms. He’s hiding a grin when he looks at you, and you roll your eyes. Stark clears his throat again.

You hum, “Not like I have anywhere else to be,” ignoring Peter’s comment. The teen bounds up off the couch to follow you to the lab to see what Bruce wanted. He missed your telling of your history last night, but you could tell him about it another time.

–*--

As you enter the lab, you notice Bruce is hunched over a table, he’s looking into a microscope and glancing at a tablet he jots notes down every so often.

“Brucey, I come bearing gifts,” Starks sing-song voice rings out in the lab.

Without turning around, Bruce sighs, “Please, Tony, I really can’t stand those smoothies you make–” he cuts off mid sentence, having noticed other people in the room other than Stark. “Oh,” he chuckles lightly, removing his glasses as he turns towards your group, “sorry about that. I didn’t know Tony was going to get you.” he glances at Stark then back to you and Peter.

Stark makes himself seem busy, standing at a different table in the lab. There’s machine parts and tools strewn across it, “Hmm? Never said that,” he mutters to himself. He peers out the corner of his eye at you, and you’re looking at him with your head tilted to the side, and another blush rises to his cheeks as he averts his gaze back to the table.

Hmm, Cute…

Wait, what?

You shake your head a bit, looking back to Bruce, “So, what is it you need me to do, Doc?”

Bruce grabs his tablet, tapping away for a moment before he swipes up and the video from a month ago of you in the alley with 4 of those thugs is in the space between you.

A growl lets loose from your throat at the image, Bruce raises a hand in defense, and then he taps a few more times and swipes up again and a still image of you shifted to your coyote lying on your back with Peter petting you while you two were on the couch.

This time you feel the heat rush from your neck all the way up to your ears, it’s a hot embarrassing blush and you put a hand to your cheeks to try and cool the burn.

Next to you, Peter lets out a quiet ‘aw’ and he places a hand on top of your head and ruffles your hair a bit. You don't fight him, you enjoy his brotherly affections. You smile over at him and playfully shove him away from you.

When you look back to Bruce he’s smiling at you both, you clear your throat, “Ah, what do you need me to do?”

Bruce stands and walks through the projections, motioning to the still video he says, “How is it you can look like this and this?” He then motions to the candid picture of Peter and you.

“The large anthro build is a defensive form of shifting, for fighting mostly,” you explain. “We still have use of our hands, and our legs are very powerful. I could probably jump a small story building in one leap if I were to really try.”

“Whoa, like Superman!” Peter exclaims. You snort at him, you were no superhero, and you definitely don’t wear capes.

The still is zoomed in on you, fur covering your arms and legs. Your fingers have long claws coming from your nail beds. Your face is a mix of half dog half human, fur covering your cheeks and down your neck to your chest. Your nose and mouth elongated into a half formed muzzle. There's a snarl on your face and your teeth are long and pointed k9s. Your ears had shifted to long points with tufts of fur at the tips. A tail protrudes out the back of you above your ripped and tattered jeans. You're surprised your clothes aren't rags by now.

“And the normal quadrupedal form is the most common one used amongst Shifters. It’s fast and easy to shift to, it blends in with other wildlife, usually. I uh, this isn't something I’ve had to explain before, sorry if there’s something that's confusing.”

Bruce nods along with your explanation, he seems to understand somewhat. He was typing on his tablet while you spoke, probably writing notes about your forms.

“Are there any other forms you can shift to?” he asks when he finishes typing, he moves back to his desk.

“None I'm comfortable doing right now,” you supply. “The one I need to shift to is my coyote form, and the need becomes greater the closer to the full moon. That's why you walked in on me like that, Bug. I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin the longer I put off shifting, even standing here right now is making me crazy.”

“You’re very soft,” Peter grins. “I thought you were a werewolf though? You said coyote?”

You nod, “I’m a shifter, it’s different in the sense that I was born this way, not bitten.” All heads turn towards you with wide eyes. “What?”

Peter sputters a little, “You can be bitten?! And turned into a coyote? Or a wolf?”

“Says the kid who was bitten by a radioactive spider, and got super human abilities,” Stark says.

Now it’s your turn to stare wide-eyed.

I'm sorry, what?

You honestly shouldn't be surprised by a lot of things, coming from the supernatural world. At least that's what you thought a year ago, before literal aliens came pouring out of the sky in the middle of Midtown New York.

–*--

Next>>

AN: thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this, it really means a lot to me! I wasn’t planning on making this more than one part, but here we are!

[beanghostprincess]

i love and relate to Usopp sooo much, hes like one of my highest kins. not only cause of his anxiety, but when i was younger (and now, not just as much) i was a chronic liar. it was mostly a trauma response due to my neglectful parents, and id usually lie to make myself sound cooler or to get attention and i wouldnt rlly be able to control it. just seeing him do the exact same thing and still have people care for him is like. huh. so that can happen. (sorry if this is worded weirdly im bad at articulating my thoughts sometimes)

I love Usopp kinnies SO much. I am literally surrounded by them, honestly. My best friend is an Usopp kinnie and my fiancé too. They're my pookies. I luv them. Does this have anything to do with my own kin list? Probably!

I'm sorry you had to lie because of your parents. If it makes you feel any better I can just go and kick them. Parents should care about their children. You shouldn't have to lie to get people's attention, I'm sure you're a wonderful person without needing to do it. Although it's not something that you can't actually control most of the time, so,,, You're a wonderful person anyway, I'm sure. You deserved!!! Love!!! And attention!!! And people will love you no matter what!!! That thing doesn't establish whether you deserve love or not. I'm so so happy that at least you found comfort in Usopp. He's just,,, He's such a great character. He brings me so much comfort too. But that's just because I love him a lot and he's 100% the type of person I'd be friends with.

I know the feeling, by the way. Sanji is one of my highest kins too. And WCI changed my life because?? Wow??? Sanji sabotaging and sacrificing himself constantly like the stubborn, people-pleaser idiot he is because of his issues with his family and Luffy wanting him anyway??? The way they love him??? AND WANO????? Sanji there fucked me up completely. He's just like me fr. And I swear, watching a show that tells you "hey, is this who you are? Look at this character who's like you get loved!! Because they deserve love!!" it's just the most cathartic thing in the world. Not to mention Robin saying she wants to live. And Nami asking for help after being alone for so long. Like- One Piece really changes lives, huh.

[ughgoaway]

after seeing the vid of mattys opinion on porn its super understandable if u dont wanna continue with the au but if u don wanna continue with it a good way might be

matty's relationship with sex grows to be less voyeuristic with help from reader??? idk like he learns to have a healthier relationship with his sexuality

but this might be harder/ more emotionally draining for u to write

🤷‍♀️

yes, this is such a good way to approach it!! It keeps the basis of the fic the same but adds a new part of it that is very interesting to consider.

I love the phrasing of "less voyeuristic" because that's the perfect way to think about it. especially if it's post quarantine, reader can help matty change his relationship towards sex to become more real and personal again, rather than through a screen.

developing a healthier relationship with sex and intimacy though the relationship is such an nice thing to consider.

it might be more draining for me to write, but I think that aspect would make it more entertaining to read and write.

(Also, im sorry if I make no sense in these replies, I'm trying to articulate my thoughts as best I can, but sometimes my brain gives up lol <3)

[fairycosmos]

I have a crush on u and it's actually making me kinda sad. its embarrassing, I don't know u, u don't know me. and there's not really a 'chill' way to begin conversation (not that u'd like me anyway, so no point, lol). I get internet crushes are embarrassing n stupid. but seeing how u respond to people alone, is enough for me to feel something u kno? it never fails to amaze me how attentive & present & thoughtful and deeply compassionate u are to each & every person. it's never dismissive in the slightest, and doesn't feel like ur attending to an 'audience' but actually just so attentive and in tune in the most resonant way with each person. u care. u have such a great capacity to empathise w others, to make people feel seen n heard. and it somehow seems effortless, and just undeniably genuine. you're special. please preserve this precious part of u.

awwww angel you are so so sincerely sweet <3 dw i get this for ppl online sometimes it's sort of a parasocial thing but then it's also about like. finding companionship and security and a sense of true appreciation for ppl online in the absence of having it IRL and i can totally understand how that can morph into some semblance of a crush if you get crushes on people quickly. i really really appreciate it and am so deeply flattered for real <3 esp with how fucking unloveable i feel all the fucking time lmfao!! the thing is i know it's soooo cliche but i think it's just easy to read me that way on here when in reality i am just straight up not that emotionally or physically desirable - and u would get over it quickly if you knew me, i absolutely promise lmfao. anyway it's prob cringe and unhealthy but yeah i Absolutely do care ab the ppl who make an effort to interact with me and open up to me on here and i find a lot of solace in knowing im not the only one who is severely mentally ill and struggling lmfao. i very much want people to feel seen and heard like i rmr when i was 16 and people first started telling me ab their lives on here and i was like Well i know how shit it is to feel unacknowledged and if i can give that to this person through my silly little blog why fucking not - whether it resonates with them or not, whether able to solve anything for them or not. i don't think it's anything particularly special, in fact i think a lot of people feel the same on here which is why we're often so open and vulnerable with each other, but yeah i am just another person trying my best. and this blog has been a massive comfort to my during a time where i have been genuinely entirely emotionally isolated and honestly not reading reality correctly or healthily - i know i still don't. i'm like not right in the head in a way that isn't easy to explain away and i know a lot of people on here are too (lmfao sounds like shade but i mean it earnestly.) so i think it's a two way street and i appreciate the ppl who keep up with me and who i keep up with a lot, prob more than i can articulate. i do make the effort to not be dismissive and i really adore you for seeing that and being truly kind about it. ab the feeling of having a crush - again, i am seriously so flattered and blushing and screaming inside at the absolute compliment lmfao. if ur ever in a place where you want to get to know someone (and obviously ur around my age and you think we'd get along well) - hey my dms are open!! i'd love to know ya and keep up with you too. MWAH <3

[bunny584]

IM OKAY

This is gonna be long, bear with me

Come sit with me, Bunbun, I brought hot cocoa (and also liquor if you need it)

First of all, thank you. I don't think I say it enough, but thank you, thank you, thank you. If it wasn't for you, I don't think I would have gotten into writing JJK stuff nearly as quickly as I did. Your writing continues to get me all fluffy and happy, and encourages me to keep writing

There's something about like...medical angst that's just different. I dunno how to put it. Maybe I get edgy sometimes and get the urge to write my own medical angst, but I'm always so nervous about getting it wrong, so I'm definitely delighted to see how you do it. Especially considering your knowledge! I do my best to research and understand, but it's still one of those things that makes me a bit nervous as I don't want to represent anything incorrectly

Next

I don't think that different forms of grief are shown a lot, one of which includes sex, so I'm happy to see a new depiction of grief in a story. Especially coming from you! I admire you a lot for a bunch of reasons ❤️ it always fascinates me to see how the thoughts of other people process and appear on paper (or text), and I get so damn giddy when you post a new update (or in general) because it's, like...there's one of my fav authors! You make me fangirl, damnit.

This whole chapter was just a wild ride, from the boys struggling, like Satoru taking it out on Sugaru (pls give the man some extra love and kisses :( ) to just the whole chaos, to Mama Darling, TO THE FUCKIN PREGNANCY REVEAL?? THEN THE LOSS???? AAAAAA THAT HIT LIKE A SUCKER PUNCH, the boys were SO close to being papas :c </3 hhhhhhhh your writing is so good but FUCK I weep for each baby involved, literal and emotional </3 I know I gotta be patient but I can’t wait for them to get back on that baby-making grind. I’ll be a good girl, I swear, so I’ll dream whilst I wait for another gift from you

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Whenever I think about posting my stories, I get nervous because I'm a shy, praise-whore of a bean, but it's also because I wanna make a good impression on someone who I love and look up to reading my stuff. Like, "this author is so good, I hope they like my writing, too," type of deal. I'm bad at articulating my own feelings BFKFBFKDN I’m so antsy about you reading my fic because I want you to like it aaaaaaa (mildly related, I did a TINY rewrite of the pianist!Satoru fic to make it better, and by tiny I mean that I just went back in with a thesaurus lmao)

Lastly! 

I'm okay! I'm a strong girl, I got this, I CAN DO IT FOR YOU

AND I DID!

I can do it for your writing because it's worth it! Plus, crying can be very cathartic! I very much approve of using writing/reading as an emotional outlet to vent out one's feelings and get that sweet, sweet catharsis. The only part I don't like about crying is how stuffy my nose gets. I'm unable to blow my nose because it plugs my ears hardcore which drives me insane and makes me dizzy, but otherwise it can be so freeing. Even if the heart hurts, I know you have the power to mend the cracks and breaks with lacquer and gold dust

It makes me happy that you consider my heart, by the way ❤️ don't be afraid to write whatever your heart desires, even if it hurts! I know we'll be here for each other through and through to heal our souls 

(P.S. you're beautiful, both inside and out ❤️ yellow suits you, like the sun 💛)

BABY!!!!! My sweet girl. I was waiting for when you’d forgive me enough for that hell of a chapter I promise heaven is coming soon.

Okay, let’s talk about it.

1. Hi, you don’t ever have to thank me for writing. Your loyal readership, constant support, and incredible, insightful comments are thanks enough. You are one of my favorites, I do hope I’ve made it abundantly clear.

2. Medical angst is god tier. Its raw. Its omnipresent. With your technical writing skill you’d carry it out, flawlessly.

3. You always make me blush like a fool when you compliment my work in ways I don’t deserve 😭😭😭 I’ve already warned you! Affection means I fall first and hard and that’s a natural disaster for all parties involved??? In all seriousness, the way you respond to my words on paper is…probably one of the most beautiful things to come out of this hobby I picked up last October.

4. You are insanely talented. Tether me is incredible. My commentary is in my drafts because I wrote as I read. You’ll be receiving a full, unhinged review tomorrow. And to this day, Pianist! Satoru takes the cake for my favorite take on that boy.

5. I know you’re strong. And you can take what I dish out. It doesn’t stop the pause I have before I hit publish 😅 there are a few of you. With pretty, pretty tender souls that I know have put me in time out at least a time or two with the recent infusion of angst/hurt. Quietly I wonder if you guys will come back to me. I’ve been lucky so far that you always do.

Whew, getting me a lil emotional. To my curly haired soulmate - I adore you, thank you for being here and being you 💕

[donnerpartyofone]

i find you unimaginably cool and ive expressed to you before on anon the sentiment that i feel a deep kinship towards you for how you speak so candidly abt your own stupidity (pls dont take that as me calling you stupid) bcuz i feel exactly the same way abt my own stupidity and hate when ppl try to talk me out of it but ANYways i just saw your post abt writing a novelization of splice and i am literally reeling. i love that weird ass movie so much and i think writing a novelization of it is one of the most off the wall and amazing things ive ever heard of. i hope that you will share when it is published bcuz i cannot wait to read it. pls know that someone out there understands you (or at least understands you as best as someone can thru this parasocial lens of tumblr and how you choose to share yourself there) and that someone out there thinks you are basically what i hope i can be when i grow up. thank you for sharing. thank you for articulating yourself as well as you do (i too have the itch to tell you you are not stupid but bcuz i know how it is i wont do it but besides that, i think you are one of the clearest and most well articulated writers ive ever encountered online or elsewhere). sorry, this all feels insane to type. im off two tallboy ipas and i just think youre great.

Dearest Correspondent,

Oddly enough, just the other day somebody liked an older post of mine, and when I clicked on it to remind myself of what it was, the next post down was your last message. Anyway, thanks! The whole novelization business is really funny. Do people even know what they are anymore? I didn't know anybody still made them until I was hired to do SPLICE. I used to get them from the drugstore sometimes when I was a kid because my parents were very uptight about what I watched, but they wouldn't be caught dead restricting anyone's reading habits. During my initial conversation with the SPLICE publisher, we kind of bonded over our memories of the CHILD'S PLAY 2 novelization, of all things, that seemed to help me a lot in addition to my ideas about what SPLICE should be like on paper. I tend to think of novelizations as just another piece of merch, but when you write them, I don't know, like you really have to live out the movie in your mind over and over again to figure out what the characters are experiencing physically, environmentally, how their emotional experiences affect their bodies, etc. You have to fill in the blanks of what they think and sense just enough to make your transcription convincing, while staying within certain bounds to honor what the filmmaker meant to say. SPLICE started as kind of a lark for me, and then almost immediately it became extremely personal; when I was nearing the end of my first draft I thought, "OK, well, I guess everyone is about to find out how insane I am." I was afraid it just sounded "crazy" and wouldn't be what the publisher was expecting. But after I turned it in, the surprise encouragement I got from actual-Vincenzo Natali was pretty amazing, so maybe it's good! Maybe you really CAN'T tell how crazy I am, and it's just very entertaining. You'll have to wait and see.

Parasocial relationships are tricky, huh, especially here on tumblr dot com. The best thing you can do for yourself is just be very aware that they are happening within you, a test you seem to have passed. I think a lot of us come here seeking understanding of our weirdest parts, but the more you put out there to find the people who get what you're saying, you simultaneously get a lot of reminders that most people have no idea what you're talking about. There will be people who seem to hate you because they've misunderstood you, and there will also be people who love you but whose interactions prove that they have absolutely no idea what you're communicating. I recently culled a bunch of followers because they were just creating a lot of noise, even though they may have meant well, and I was losing the clarity I needed to keep doing this. I started to see every post as a worrisome opportunity to find out how poorly people can possibly read me, and suppressing the urge to re-explain myself every day was becoming exhausting. And ironically, around the same time, I was briefly mutuals with one of my favorite bloggers ever, and just as I thought we were becoming chummy, they unfollowed me. I didn't freak out, actually I just unfollowed them back because I was concerned about being annoying, but I did have all kinds of Thoughts about this event. I have spent a lot of time reviewing what my projections were about that person, and what my personal investment in their narrative says about me. I think there could be something good to get out of this audit, even though the whole episode is sort of embarrassing. But Tumblr definitely gives you a lot of opportunities to examine your own filters, clean them out once in a while, and get to know yourself a little better--even if other people seem to be getting to know you a little worse! You just have to stick to your own course and see what comes of it.

Uh. What the hell was I saying. I don't know! But I appreciate your messages, I feel "gotten" by them. Some of the follower upheaval recently did involve the way that I process my experience of my own stupidity out loud on here--like I know that sometimes folks are trying to be helpful by contradicting me whenever I sound "negative" (read: realistic), but being told (by strangers) how to feel about yourself and that you're wrong about your own experiences is actually really awful, confusing, frustrating, and undermining. So I don't mind being reminded that my signal is coming through for at least some people. I hope you're doing good this holiday season. I wonder what beers you had, they sound fun!

Good tidings to you,

C

PS Isn't "on here" a weird phrase? I always feel like a primate when I say it, but I have yet to find a different phrase that conveys the same thing as accurately.

[bloogers-boogers]

no matter what you write

wether its paragraphs of rants, analysises, stories, replies to anons, headcannons or even one-off statements and/or whatever else!

You're writing always has me in awe,

Really you could simply share what you've written as a grocery list on here and it'd still think its absolutely brilliantly written ^^. Because of just how much of yourself you put into it you writing, it all feels like its full of a Intensity sometimes that just feels so loving? I really dont know how to describe it any better

thank you so much for your wonderful reply

i loved reading your thoughts and experiences (though im so incredibly sorry for what you've gone threw, that's a horrible thing to have happened and im glad that person is out of your life, i hope your feeling okay after being reminded of it and thank you aswell for just having been willing to share it now and in some ways in your portrayel of the characters too)

Thank you for putting such an overabundance of words (which i all adored >:0!!) and care into it and somehow finding a way to articulate what i was feeling in the loveliest way possible

Ur the best grandma on tumblr <33

Anon let me smooch u you’re so sweet 🥹😭😭😭💕💖 I have no idea what to say besides thank u bc this really mean a lot to me cause I don’t normally see my writing as great and I sometimes feel like I don’t express well what I’m trying to word out but I do try my best so this brings me relief and joy, thank you. Sending u hugs 😩🫂