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#sometimes wish I’d never met you at all because look how you’ve ruined my life for so many months
insanechayne · 6 months
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#sometimes I wonder if this is worth all the trouble it’s caused me#to keep holding on to someone who seems to want to be let go#trying harder and harder to keep this friendship going but every day we break down a little more#I still have so many questions that I need answers to but I know you won’t give me that clarity#time is supposed to heal all wounds but mine have only gotten worse the longer we’ve let things last this way#I just don’t have anyone or anything that can fully replace you or what you do for me#I know you’re toxic and you used me and I have better friends in my real life and my wonderful girlfriend with me#I know I have everyone’s support but I still can’t let you go#you’ve always been my safe space and we talk every single day and I can tell you anything and I just don’t have that with anyone else#the transition process is slow and grueling and I’m not strong enough to fully see it through#part of me wishes I’d never met you because look how much we’ve hurt and ruined each other#part of me wishes I’d met you sooner so I could have had more time with you the way we used to be#I wish I had someone I could just rant all of this out to without consequence#just tell them the whole story from an outside perspective and get some help with all of this bullshit#I feel like I’m burdening my girlfriend when I talk about you#I feel like I’m annoying my friends if I’m complaining about us#I can’t talk to you because you just get upset and shut me down#I’m so messed up and confused and I don’t know what to do anymore#so I make these stupid tag posts on here that you’ll never see and just let my feelings out#because where else better to do that than on my own personal blog right#I wish I could just turn all of these emotions off and stop caring about you and distance myself until I could fully cut you off#feel like I’m just dangling from strings here like a marionette that you’re toying with#personal
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9: the right way to be proud (and hate me all the same)
A/N: Keefe chapter! in which he is silly (but that’s all of them!) PLEASE please please reblog and/or comment if you like!!
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Tags: @an-ungraceful-swan @seulgibabes @gay-otlc @fruityfintanfortythree @synonymroll648 @bookwyrminspiration @skylilac @song-tam @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @abubble125 @rainy-nights-and-fairy-lights @kamikothe1and0lny @arsonistblue @daphneisntreal @lemon-girl-in-devil-town @istanrandomfandoms @sunset-telepath
Dear Alden,
I wish I could call you dad, but there are a few reasons why I can't.
1: Real fathers don't tell you they're proud of you for being less than perfect.
2: You've hurt me more than Fintan ever could. Weird, right? But that's what a father is supposed to do. You're supposed to be worse than the villains.
3: You've loved me more than my mother was supposed to. I don't want to admit that hating me is genetic.
But it is. Hating me runs in the family, and you were exempt from that disease on account of being a Vacker.
Your pride in me is something I have never been able to match up with who I am. If I am not yours, why are you proud of me? What right do I have to take those shreds away from Fitz, away from Biana? You owe me nothing. I owe you everything.
The first time you told me you were proud of me, my father's hand was around my wrist. And he didn't feel excitement or happiness or gratitude, he felt confusion.
I'd never heard those words with my name where Fitz's was supposed to be. Something didn't quite match. Something came out wrong, and I think it was me.
You spent years looking for Sophie, hoping to find her because of what you did to Prentice— ruining his life, that is. But you never found her because she came out wrong too, didn't she? Not quite human, not quite elven. Not like what you know.
Sophie was something you had to learn. Someone you had to teach yourself about.
But you assumed that I was straight out of the textbook definition. Look for Keefe in a dictionary and I come up. Definable. Noteworthy. Disaster.
Did you know that Keefe means loved in some human languages? Being a polyglot means that I understand every language, but I don't understand a world where my name means loveable. Worthy of being cared for.
That's not a father's job, anyway. Your job is to break me down to your level and try to repair the damage when you've pieced your mind back together. Your job is to shout and shout and shout and wait for the words to get through to me. Your job is to find me where I've hidden myself and bring me back into the burning sunlight.
Find me, Alden; find who I am, what I am, what I've kept from you. Why aren't you looking? Why do you never see? I've hidden myself away. You haven't found me yet. You're not my dad.
You love learning secrets no one was supposed to tell. Here's one of mine:
You gave me the idea to run away.
I was thinking about Fitz. And I was thinking about how we met. And why we became friends. It's because no one knew where he was. He was mysterious. Gone all the time. Gone to look for Sophie in the Forbidden Cities.
Do you feel your mind shattering the more you read? I think you're better off not reading this, but that's not why I won't send it.
It's because you never tried to peel back my layers. It's because my hiding spot was too good, it's because my head records every word and plays them in a disordered line, it's because neither of us has fixed our stupid broken matching heads yet. It's because you accepted me as who I was instead of who I was throwing at you, over and over, desperate to break the glass between us. Too bad that part of me is dead now.
I think you killed him.
I cried at your planting. Sometimes I regret it.
Love,
Keefe
Fitz isn't there the next morning when the rest of the group comes to see if it's true that he's back.
Biana gets there first: he knows it's her by how tightly she squeezes him, crushing them together. Her hair tickles his chin, bracelets digging into his back, but it's hard for Keefe to care, to breathe as she whispers, "Missed you."
"Missed you too," Keefe says softly, and Biana releases him. Her expression switches quickly from easy relief to a hesitant question. "And I've already seen Fitz," he adds, watching her eyebrows lift.
But she steps back.
"A lot has happened since you left," Tam puts in, barbed and accusatory. Not since you've been gone. Since you left.
Sophie catches it too, forehead wrinkling. She tugs out an eyelash, and Keefe winces. "Sorry about that, by the way."
They accept his apology a bit easier than Fitz did. Then, none of them know he doesn't mean it, besides Sophie, who was there last night. Not even Biana. They don't know the tug, the pull and push of anywhere but here that keeps him running, keeps him lying, keeps him leaving everyone behind. They don't know the desperate need for change, the roiling fear, the tumbling guilt that mixes with his blood and sets it itching in his veins.
Tam and Linh probably know it least of all. They run for need rather than want. He's seen their backpacks that pack for quick escape, and he's also seen the drawers they've filled since. They want a home. He wants to leave his forever. No wonder Tam hates him. The only part of him he’s ever known has been betrayal, from either side of whatever dynamic they have made for themselves.
Even now, he feels it: the monotony of his days here. Trying for solutions and knowing that all will fail. The cycle that he's found himself drawn back into against his will. This is why Fitz found him lying when he said he wanted to come back.
Keefe feels a chill set over him, and Tam's shadowy voice whispers: Keefe, we're going to have to talk sometime soon.
This is the worst part of going numb, a new kind of blindness. As he meets Tam's eyes, he can't tell whether his calm is genuine or not. He's gotten out of practice at reading expression before emotion, and he can't match them up anymore.
But he nods.
And he thinks of the letters he has stacked up, one for each of his closest friends. The ones he thought he would never have the chance to give to them because he'd never see them again.
It's worse now. Because now he has to choose to keep them piled away, written and unopened, addressed to him and him only.
Dear Biana, he thinks as she ruffles his hair and he ducks with a yelp. Sorry for wanting to forget you again. I hope I'm forgiven for coming back.
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a-shared-experience · 9 months
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Ptsd flashbacks
Nobody will ever love you like I do.
That’s what you used to say. Usually while I was sobbing in the bedroom , physically exhausted and mentally consumed with figuring out why it was all happening. Curled up between tear stained pillows. You said it scoldingly because you thought I was pathetic. My emotional outburst of devastation after hours of conflict was a burden. I sometimes wished you’d just leave me alone so I could forget everything , sadly, other times I waited for you to nurture my pain and say you were sorry. I wanted my feelings to be validated because I was always so unsure. There was comfort in being nurtured after the abuse , it meant it was over for awhile.
It meant I would sleep better, perform better at work, see my friends and even have brief moments where I felt like I was in a real partnership with you. It all reinforced the term pathetic as more of a character flaw within. You forget that the person sitting across from you called you ugly or fat or drilled it in your head that you weren’t good enough to be a woman. You forget you’re a woman at all. You’re just happy to watch a show and eat spaghetti and to feel relatively normal.
Normal becomes coffee dates with friends you love who share their own stories of being hit in the face or degraded in public and finding a bit of commonality before both returning back to love the hate out of your partner.
You get used to leaving every event early because the behaviour of one or the other triggers the cycle once again. You don’t tell all your friends what’s happening because you spend a lot of energy trying to decode it and fix it. You get obsessed with trying to fix it. I tried to become more womanly by learning new recipes and wearing more makeup, trying to work out and be more attractive in any way possible. I’d tip toe around the house and diminish any sort of boundary for my own needs.
Your friends were always coming and going. There was alcohol , weed and a variety of other substances. The most prevalent was cocaine. I didn’t even know half of the people , I had no concept of your relations with them all I knew was how to smile and go with the flow. If they liked me those friends came over less and less. I met most of my friends outside of our house. My opportunity for togetherness was scheduled and limited and would eventually taper off. I remember calling my friend the night you and some guy threw beer cans at me which is one of the most humiliating and shaming memories for me. Not the abuse itself, the way my friend looked at me as I carried my turntables and records into her basement apartment , as if these were a prized possession well beyond my own worth. Even your closest friends will want to distance themselves from you and instead of being understandable, it’s merely another betrayal. Further confirmation that you aren’t worth much of anything. You’re pathetic.
Once I stored my things I dragged myself back to the place we shared. It had been my first apartment since getting back on my feet. I remember I used to keep notebooks with lists of things I would need to move out on my own. I was working for a local newspaper at the time. You moved in after dating me for a couple of months and I wish now that I hadn’t of been so stupid. I think I naively believed that everything was working out in my life. From ruins to rebuilding.
I blame myself for everything even though I know I shouldn’t. That’s the hard part of trauma. You grow up in an environment that makes you a professional at figuring out how everyone feels so that you know how to act , but it blinds you from truly seeing who someone is. You get so preoccupied with how to behave to deserve love that you never really pay attention to whether you feel love. You become a byproduct of your experiences. You know that you deeply crave to be seen, heard and loved in the most gentle of ways and you know nothing you’ve done so far has helped you obtain this. You open the door to your heart and hope you aren’t invisible. Someone will come along and see that I’m good enough you daydream.
I think you saw that I was hurting. My face was scattered with mild acne, I was high a lot and not very careful with what happened to me. You rode in like a knight to save me and I was delighted. In the beginning I was in disbelief that I was worth buying flowers for, worth being taken out to fancy restaurants or being someone’s girlfriend at a beach party . I still was trying to figure out how to act. My parents relationship which was best described as a chaotic intervention had started to transform into a caregiver role of my mother and one of gratitude from my dying father. My older brother lived on the other side of the country and my younger brother was an alcoholic. I admired the way my mom loved after all that she’d been through. I consider her to be incredibly self sacrificing and ultimately strong. I knew that she did it as a mother, not just to be somebody’s wife. I hadn’t recognized my inability to be vulnerable , met with a need to self soothe through numbing with substance or that my attachment wound was in a state of high alert for abandonment. It was unbearable to think that my father could leave in such a final way. You can’t really think too much about it because that would imply you’d lost hope for his survival and lived in fear of change.
Looking back is really a forced intrusive memory that I usually dissociate from. Today I allowed myself to reflect. I guess what I never got to say to you, due mostly to the fact that despite how tough I act , I’m actually prone to freeze responses more often than I’d like to admit…
I never got to say that I hope nobody ever loves me like you did. I hope I never meet anyone like you for as long as I shall live. I hope that I continue to find ways to find love and admiration for myself without the need for illicit substances to create delusions of ego. I hope that the memory of you is washed away by the presence of real love. That I no longer believe that I am somehow less than.
I don’t know if you know this but .. your love sucked and you suck.
And you probably will suck forever. Bye cya , have a good one
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May i request for the Noncon starter sentence with “I’m not doing this because I hate you, I do it because I love you.” with Shoto or Deku ?
Shoto/Darling: "I'm not doing this because I hate you, I do it because I love you."
Shoto hadn't ever felt love this intensely before. He loved his siblings, his mother, his friends, even his father; with ____ though, the love he felt was different. At some point he realized that whenever they smiled at him, his heart would race. When they looked at him his chest would tighten. Maybe this was what Mt. Lady had meant during that interview practice years ago, and ____ had a smile that could kill him. With how nice it felt when he was with them though, he wouldn't mind dying that way.
He didn't know how to tell them about these feelings, or even if he should. What if they didn't understand and they thought he was weird? They might start avoiding him. What if he messed up when he was confessing and didn't explain it right? He didn't even know how to explain to himself. Instead of telling them and risking their friendship being ruined, he decided that he'd just love them from afar until he knew how to confess to them just right.
It had started out small: catching glimpses at their phone messages, just to make sure they weren't texting anyone suspicious. Then he started asking them where they were all the time, and following them around when they were with other people--just so he can protect them in case something happens and make sure their other friends are on the level. When he couldn't watch over them, he'd make up for their absence by going into their apartment and imagining they're with him. Sometimes he'd take small little things for him to keep, like a little cut piece of their clothes or a tube of lip balm that tasted just like them.
As time went on, Shoto started to get more and more worried for them whenever they weren't with him. He couldn't concentrate on anything else and his coworkers would notice him staring off and looking concerned more often. It didn't help that his home felt so empty at night, and he'd find himself dreaming that they were sleeping in bed next to him--only for him to wake up disappointed and empty in the morning. He couldn't stand not seeing them without getting a lingering sense of worry in the back of his mind and a pit in his stomach. He had to keep ____ with him, keep them safe and protected where nobody could hurt them: no Villains, no Hero-killing Vigilantes, no vengeful older siblings that may go after them. Just him, ____, and...maybe a new member of the family at some point. His father always was pestering him about finding someone to settle down with and continue the family lineage--not that he cared much about his dad's wishes, but he didn't hate this particular one.
And after weeks and weeks of planning, setting up his apartment to become their apartment, he nervously texted them and asked if they could come over.
To: ____
____, I need to talk to you about something that's been on my mind. I can't say it over the phone, it needs to be face-to-face.
He'd gotten a response a few minutes later: "Are you okay, Shoto? I can be there in about 15 minutes." He quickly set a timer on his phone and walked through the apartment, making sure he had everything set up. His cue cards were in pocket for when he confessed his love for them, he had a few outfits "borrowed" from their closet to wear while he moved the rest of their things into his apartment, and...on the off chance that they reacted poorly, he had a pair of Quirk-cancelling cuffs in his back pocket to use if he needed to calm them down.
He ran a few fingers through his hair and nervously waited in the living room until he heard a knock at the front door. "Shoto?" ____'s voice was laced with concern. "I'm here. You okay?"
Shoto hurried to the door and opened it, and he tried to calm his rapid heartbeat; there was no way they could hear it thumping in his chest, right? "I'm...okay," he said uncertainly, closing (and locking) the door behind ____. "I didn't mean to worry you. I just need to talk to you about something. It's important."
____ sat down on the couch and looked up at him, still confused. "Oh. Okay," they replied. "You're sure you're alright? You look kind of pale."
Shoto sat next to them on the couch and fumbled for the cue cards in his pocket. He hoped he wouldn't mess this up. "Um...____." He cleared his throat. "We've known each other for a long time, and I can't say just how much you've made me happy ever since we met. I've never felt this way about anyone before, and even though these feelings are strange and new and even suffocating sometimes, I don't want them to go away." He glanced up at ____ to gauge their reaction. "I don't want you to go away."
____ tilted their head slightly and tried to peer at the cue cards with a small smile on their face. "So...this is what you wanted to tell me? That you...um, you like me like that?"
Shoto shook his head and took their hand. "Not just that," he insisted. "It's more. I love you." He saw ____'s smile grow a bit and he stared at them for a moment, so relieved by their reaction. They weren't mad at all. What was he so worried about? He set the cue cards aside and looked directly at them. "Sometimes I'll think about you and it just makes me feel so...nice. And, um...warm. I feel so grateful that you're in my life, and whenever you're not with me I get so worried about you. Sometimes I feel like I have to push down how bad it feels just to go to work, sleep, and eat without you with me."
"Worried?" Shoto's heart sank a bit when he saw them frown. Had he messed up? "Shoto, I appreciate the concern and..." ____ glanced away shyly as their lips turned up into a small smile again. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for you too, but I can take care of myself just fine. You don't need to be so concerned about it that you don't want to eat or sleep or anything!"
"But I do," Shoto insisted, taking their hand. "We're both Heroes, and you know how easy it is for something to happen before you have time to react. What if the building you're in collapses while you're on duty? Or a Villain targets you? Or you go out of your way to save a civilian in danger and you get yourself hurt or...or killed?" He squeezed ____'s hand and more and more words just started to spill out of him. "I don't want anyone else I care about to get hurt, especially you. Just the thought of that happening makes me feel so...so--"
"Shoto," ____ said, their voice wavering slightly. They'd never heard him talk or act like this before. "Breathe for a second, okay? I'm right here."
Shoto took a shaky breath and rubbed his thumb over the back of their hand. "Sorry. I know, I don't have to worry about that anymore since you're here with me." He looked at them and inched closer to them. "I'll keep you safe," he said firmly. "And as happy as possible. I promise."
____ waited a few seconds before trying to take their hand back. They didn't mind Shoto being affectionate, but he'd been touching them for a while; that odd little rant about how much he worried about them wasn't helping, either. "Uh...Shoto," ____ said, breaking the silence. "I like you and I'd be happy to date you, but...please don't worry so much about me when I'm not with you." They laughed awkwardly. "It's not like we can be together 24/7 even if we're dating, right?"
Shoto blinked at them silently. They liked him back, they'd just said it! They said they wanted to date him! But what did they mean with that last sentence? Were they joking or were they being serious? "Why?"
"Huh?"
"Why couldn't we be together 24/7 if we were dating? I mean...I guess we wouldn't be able to be together while I'm at work, but I don't mind that since I know that you'll be here when I get home."
____ furrowed their brows. "What are you talking about? I don't live here, I've got my own--"
"I was going to call the movers after this," Shoto said bluntly. "It'll take a few days to bring everything here, but--"
____ pulled their hand away from him, and the suspicious and frightened look on their face left a pit in his stomach. "What the hell, Shoto? I'm not leaving my apartment. You just confessed to me less than a minute ago!" They glanced at the front door nervously, noticing that Shoto had locked and chained it. "I think I should go."
The instant they tried to get up off of the couch, Shoto's body seemed to just react on its own; he pinned them down and, desperate for any reason to make them want to stay, he pressed his lips against theirs in a kiss. ____'s scream was muffled against his mouth and he tried his hardest to keep them still. When he pulled away, he tried to explain and apologize and say...something. This was the worst way this could've gone. "I--"
"Get the fuck OFF me!"
____ kicked and flailed underneath him, but a career spent subduing criminals meant he knew just how to keep them underneath him. Shoto reached inside his back pocket for the Quirk-cancelling cuffs and expertly latched them around ____'s wrists in one stroke of his hand. ____ started to scream for help, but Shoto clamped a hand over his mouth and frantically tried to think of a way to get them to calm down. "____, please," he sighed. "I'm not mad, I promise. I'm not doing this because I hate you, I'm doing it because I love you. I won't hurt you, I promise, just please calm down." He looked down at them and wished that they didn't have tears in their eyes and that they weren't glaring at him like this. Their chest heaved as they panted and struggled underneath him; the hem of their shirt rode up to their stomach, and as Shoto looked at their smooth skin his eyes widened a bit. "H-here, I'll show you how much I love you."
He looked around for something to gag them with so he could use both of his hands freely, and he finally settled on an old tie that he'd planned on returning to the store he'd bought it from. Once he'd managed to tie it around ____'s mouth, he kissed their cheek and moved their shirt up to reveal their chest. They let out a choked sob as his lips wandered lower and lower: their neck, their collarbone, the valley of their chest, and then their stomach.
His fingers fumbled with the button of their jeans for a moment before pulling them down, and he stared in awe at them in their underwear. Even if they were tied up and bound, even if they were crying and trying to turn away from him, they still looked so pretty.
He leaned down and left one more kiss against their clothed slit. God, they were so warm and soft. Even through their clothes, he could feel the heat coming from them. He felt them twitch underneath his lips and heard them let out a small whine as he teased and kissed their most sensitive place, no longer having the energy to fight back as he spread their legs apart and pulled their underwear down.
He massaged the inside of their thighs and looked back up at them. "See? I'm not going to hurt you," he assured. "I just want to show you how much I love you, and then you'll understand." He nuzzled one of their thighs and leaned in to taste them directly, finally making all of his late-night dreams come true. "Let me show you."
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snake | myg
pairing(s): yoongi x reader
summary: Your parents have no qualms on doing whatever they can to climb the social ladder. That includes assigning you a betrothed you've never met, an offering to the crown prince. You, the one the gossipers whisper under their breath... the Snake Princess.
warnings: implied parental emotional and physical abuse; language; non-idol!AU - prince!Yoongi x aristocrat!reader, ft overprotective (but secretly soft), tattooed, little brother!JK; based on this
“I don’t care what our father said, you’re not marrying him!”
You scratched your ear, partly shielding it from the loud voice of your brother.
“He’s an asshole!”
“You don’t know him?” you offered, affixing your earring, somewhat annoyed. The yellow gold wasn’t quite your style. Your parents liked such gaudy, ugly things.
Both in fashion and tradition, unfortunately.
“Do you?” your brother shot back, throwing himself up from your bed where he was yelling at the ceiling about nothing he could change. It was a favorite past time of his, along with following you around like a talkative shadow.
“No, that’s why I’m meeting him today,” you replied dryly. You switched to the other ear, adding the dragon-shaped ear cuff above the gold earring. Your parents hated it when you added such aggressive accessories – they’re not womanly, they would say – but if you were going to be betrothed to some guy on the sole basis that they had ambitions and he was the man who so happened to be the next-in-line for the throne, you weren’t going to lie about what kind of woman you were.
“Aren’t you pissed?”
You shrugged. “Is it so bad?”
“Yes!”
You sighed and flickered your eyes to the mirror, seeing Jeon Jungkook’s furious expression, long black hair tied back with lingering strands framing his high cheekbones, his black and gold robes wild, poorly tied and revealing half of his tanned, toned chest. His dark brown eyes flashed, pressing his cherry-painted lips together, jawline sharp and defiant. That’s how Jungkook always looked, messy, undone, borderline furious.
Everyone called him the Reckless Prince.
You just called him little brother.
“Noona…”
“Hmm?”
You saw him frown and you looked away, running a hand through your hair, browsing your hair accessories. You used to have an aide to help you at one point, but you told your parents to get rid of them, preferring to get ready by yourself. And besides, Jungkook liked to burst in and interrupt you with his relentless tirades about how unfair your arranged marriage was. There was no point in having hired help when you could coerce your brother into doing things as you put up with him.
“Can I brush your hair?”
“You have arms and hands, so you’re physically capable, yes.”
You heard him click his tongue in annoyance and smirked, shifting your eyes to the mirror. He was behind you now, face no longer visible. It didn’t matter. You already knew his cross expression quite well. He snatched the ornate comb from your vanity, the black snake head clearly visible on the side of his right wrist, inked near his thumb. Your parents scolded and beat him for getting it, but Jungkook could care less, breaking the wooden paddle with ease, right out of your mother’s hand.
You hadn’t said anything.
The rumors called you the Snake Princess.
Quick-witted, sharp, vicious. Not to your face though, because that was just foolishness. It wouldn’t be only your wrath they would be evoking.
Jungkook ran the comb through your hair, gently separating the strands, careful not to pull too hard. He was better than any aide anyway. They merely yanked and pulled you into their standard of beauty, ignoring your opinions or input, always citing that it was important to not look like a peasant, important to always look above your status, using your beauty to save face.
Saving face.
You hated those words.
“What if he’s a horrible person?” your brother asked quietly, tucking the strands away from your eyes only for them to slip back stubbornly.
“Then he’s a horrible person,” you replied, applying your makeup. “And you’ll probably do something about it.”
Jungkook made a noise between an aggravated bear and an injured tiger.
“If he so much as puts one fingertip on you, I’ll kill him.”
You snorted. “I’d hate to tell you what marriage entails, Jungkook.”
The comb in your hair paused.
His anger subsided, just like that.
“You’re really going to do it?” he asked softly. “Really, really?”
You heard the pain in Jungkook’s voice.
You recalled when you received the news many years ago, silent fury as your parents gave you away, turning you into a transaction to raise their own reputation and status. Your reaction was nothing to your little brother’s, him running to your room and crying in your arms, distraught and upset that you were leaving him, declaring he hated your parents, everyone, and everything.
“You’re supposed to protect me,” Jungkook had sobbed, already too big for you to hold like this but you did anyway, patting his head and wiping his tears with your sleeve. “You’re supposed to be here, with me, forever and always.”
He had taken your hand, tucking his fingers in yours, pressing your pinkies together.
“You promised me.”
And you had, from the very beginning, the shy kid always following after you and making you speak for him, your parents yelling and scolding him to be a man, but you defending him, taking the slaps meant for him, sneaking him sweets when he was hiding his tears, telling him it was okay to cry and that noona would stay here and listen to his worries, no matter if it was as stupid as a butterfly flying away or the teacher once again reprimanding him for his poor scores.
The amount of pressure they put on him just because he was the son was immense.
“I wanna play,” he had cried softly. “I don’t have to study anymore.”
“You want to be stupid?” you had teased, patting his head. “What if I had my lessons with you? I can make that happen.”
“R-Really?”
So, you made it happen, telling your parents and tutors that it would be better for him to be exposed to more complex concepts earlier rather than later and watching someone learn would improve his own scores. You made yourself a better student for his benefit and he, in turn, followed obediently, doing what you did, always overjoyed to hear your praise.
You and your snake tongue could made anything happen for him.
“This servant is bothering me.”
You found some questionable information on that servant and they resigned rather quickly.
“I don’t like the girl our father introduced me to.”
Suddenly said girl was no longer interested in Jungkook. For… reasons.
“I wish I could go on vacation, even for a couple days.”
That one got you both beaten for your three-day adventure to the sea, mostly because you had to run away from your duties to do it. But it was worth it to see the smile on Jungkook’s face.
Then Jungkook became a teenager.
You might have taught him that rules were for old people, for the generation too uptight.
He wanted to do a whole lot of things and you made it happen. Getting him out of those sticky situations was a bit tough, but nothing unmanageable. And now Jungkook was a young adult who did not care about anyone’s opinion other than yours, getting tattooed and spending all of his time with his friends, lackadaisical and free, your parents giving up and calling him a disgrace, relying on your marriage to restore the reputation they valued so much, the face they themselves ruined with their own poor decisions, taking out their frustrations on you and Jungkook, sometimes without warning.
You stayed home, playing good daughter so Jungkook could be the bad son.
Ah, maybe it was your fault he was the Reckless Prince.
You turned, looking up at him now from the corner of your eye, up his loose robes and exposed collarbone, up the line of his jaw that was similar to yours, his lips not quite as full, his round brown orbs that were actually much more innocent and purer than he liked to admit, similar to your eye shape.
But not the same.
Because your eyes were sharper, cold-blooded, predatory.
Even with Jungkook, there was no mistaking the power behind your gaze.
“Do you think just because I’m married to some man that he can control my life?” you said with a sly smile, your lips painted lush red. “I’ll come visit you whenever I want. You can come whenever you want. You can live with me if you want.”
You turned back, sweeping your hair and twisting it in place, deftly and quickly pinning it back, leaving some strands loose and messy that your parents would highly disapprove of, but why did that matter? If this man was to be your husband, then he would see you completely undone at one point, so he should get used to it.
Your parents wouldn’t approve of the black and dark green combination you had chosen either, but that’s why you learned how to sew to dress yourself as you liked. You have to be a lady. You were a lady. Just your version of a lady and not theirs. They tried to gatekeep you by saying that the pink and yellow fabrics were all they could afford. They had a tendency to underestimate your craftiness.
No obstacle was too high for the Snake Princess to slither over.
“Really?” Jungkook asked as you stood up, smoothly adjusting the tie at your waist.
You chuckled at him as he began to follow you out of your bedroom.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll do it for you.”
-
“You brought your brother.”
“I don’t bring him anywhere. He comes and goes as he pleases.”
Jungkook was sitting behind you, arms crossed, glaring at the dark-haired man sitting in front of you. You had mildly fixed his appearance before entering only from him to push up his sleeves so he could reveal the entire snake tattoo wrapped around his arm, a black snake surrounded by thorned vines.
“Hmm.”
This man had requested to meet you first, alone, without the parents. Untraditional, but as long as his father agreed to the request, it was done. Your father had no say in the matter, although he did protest rather loudly and uncouthly.
You had poured the tea for your future husband and you.
Neither of you were drinking it.
The man before you had a piercing gaze, cloud-white skin, shapely lips. Somehow, he surprised you by being dressed in black and gold as well, although he was much neater than Jungkook, black hair tied back in a the usual, curated traditional style.
“I intend in marrying you, you know.”
He had a deep, rough voice, reminding you of dead leaves and winter.
“Is that not the point of this meeting?” was your dry response.
A dark eyebrow lifted.
Jungkook clicked his tongue dismissively.
Those shapely lips curved into a slow smirk.
“I thought I wouldn’t like you,” the dark-haired man mused, reaching over to the teacup and pulling it to him. “I was fully prepared to refuse this proposal and put your family more in the dirt than your brother has already put them into.”
“You bas–” Jungkook hissed, but you held up a hand, cutting him off.
You kept your eyes on those dark brown orbs, cat-like and predatory. He took a deep inhale of the aroma of the tea, letting out a satisfied, smokey sigh.
“I thought you would be like the others. Prim, proper, begging for me to take your hand.”
You raised an eyebrow. “What do I need to beg for? You either will or you won’t. It has nothing to do with me.”
A dark chuckle. “Indeed.”
He took a long sip of the tea, savoring it. You watched him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing, tongue flickering out to lick his lips. Slowly lowering his head, scrutinizing gaze on you. He made you wait for his words.
“And besides, snakes can’t kneel, can they, Snake Princess?” he purred.
“Don’t you dare call her that!”
“No, they cannot,” you replied calmly, ignoring Jungkook’s outburst, staring into the eyes of the man who was going to decide whether or not you were going to be his wife.
“They can’t pray either.”
The dark-haired man tilted his head, intrigued.
“I have no need for gods to be able to live the life I want, Min Yoongi,” you said quietly, venomous edge to your voice. “The ties you put on me cannot restrain me from living as frivolously or ambitiously as I like.”
Min Yoongi, the man who would decide whether you would live an honorable or disgraceful life, the man who was next-in-line, the crown prince. You were meant to be his, but, unlike you, he was free to refuse. Unlike you, he had nothing to lose. Unlike you, he could destroy your life in a heartbeat with a simple no.
“You believe that?” Yoongi questioned, daring you.
You didn’t back down, small serpentine smile on your lips.
“I do not need to believe when I know.”
Silence.
Then Yoongi’s shoulders shook, raspy laughing bubbling from his throat, smirk on his lips.
“You want me to refuse. You want to ruin your parents’ lives.”
You didn’t say anything, your smile fading.
“Ah, but the problem is, I really do like you, Snake Princess,” Yoongi hummed. “You sharp tongue and you even sharper mind. A simpler man would have been tricked by you.” He tapped his long fingers against the table, keeping his feline poise directed at you. “I did not want some placid, useless little thing but a real woman, someone who isn’t afraid to say what she thinks. Why have a trophy when you can have a weapon?”
He placed his chin on the back of his other hand, clicking his tongue thoughtfully.
“What shall we do then? You absolutely must be my wife.”
“You–” Jungkook hissed, rising up behind you, glaring at Yoongi over your shoulder. “You know she doesn’t want to marry you and yet you’re going to do it anyway?”
The dark-haired man raised an eyebrow. “She doesn’t want to marry me because she wants her parents to pay for using her so carelessly to further their status. However,” he added with a sweep of his hand on the table, palm upward towards you. “Has she actually said she has no interest in me as a person? During this entire meeting, has she declared that I, the crown prince, am not to her liking?”
Yoongi gave Jungkook a sharp look.
“Do you think she would hide her disdain for me if she had some?”
Silence.
“N… Noona?”
“Yes, Jungkook?”
“You don’t like him at all… right?”
Silence.
You let out a deep breath, slow and controlled.
“Hmm, you are very intuitive.”
Yoongi grinned. “You know we would be a good match, you and I. Here,” he murmured, pointing to the table. “On the throne.” Pointing outside, indicating the land. His cat-like eyes locked with your snake-like gaze, lips forming his next words slowly and deliberately.
“In bed.”
Your eyes trailed from those glittering dark eyes to his pleased smirk. Not a malicious expression somehow. An exciting one. You fully expected to be walking into this room to tear down an arrogant, gaudy man with grandiose self-centeredness.
Instead, it was Min Yoongi.
He ticked his chin to Jungkook, now right next you instead of behind you, clutching your arm tightly.
“Do you want him to be with you? That could be arranged. I can make that happen.”
You really thought you would hate Min Yoongi and yet it seemed as if you were being drawn closer and closer to him. You pursed your lips, not ready to give up yet. He continued.
“And, of course, there’s no reason for your parents to enjoy luxuries that they didn’t earn, is there?”
You narrowed your eyes at him. Yoongi smiled, calm with an underlying slyness.
“That would reflect on you if you treated your in-laws poorly,” you responded coolly.
Yoongi shrugged. “And so? I still have you.” He tilted his head. “Why take a wife if you’re not prepared to do anything for her?” He nodded to himself, tapping his fingertips on the table once more. “Whatever you want, I can make it happen. Be it your brother tagging along, your parents’ lives in ruins…”
Yoongi’s eyes found yours and there was a kindness, already knowing your and him were meant to be.
You weren’t so sure.
And yet.
His next words made you fall in love.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll do it for you.”
--
masterpost
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angelkurenai · 3 years
Text
Wish upon - Bucky Barnes x Reader
Title: Wish upon
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: None
Summary: You were close when Wanda’s grief took over and she inevitably started controling an entire town, including you. Being her closest friend, though, instead of simply playing along, you were given a normal life of your own, with a daughter and husband whom you knew very well but never thought you had feelings for. Months later as you try to figure out your emotions for Bucky, the man seems to be trying to find every reason to stay close to you. Including asking you to join him when he’s ready to follow Sam in his adventures.
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“Is that... Is that what I think it is?” you blinked several times, head tilted as you took in the object your husband was, full of pride you could clearly tell, holding and showing off to you.
“You bet it is. Polished, glittered or bedazzled, I can never tell the difference it's equally sparkly anyway, but above all ready to deliver justice. It's finally finished. Right on time at that.” he set the small pink and sparkly shield on the kitchen counter, right next to the baby bottle you'd just filled, because he knew just as well as you did that it was honestly the only way you'd keep looking at the toy and hoped that you'd like it. Which you did, sure, but not in the way Bucky hoped. “Well, what do you say about it?”
“I say that it would certainly deliver justice, no doubt by dazzling the bad guys first and foremost. Besides-” you tore your eyes away from the toy to narrow them at your husband “Just on time for what?”
“Halloween, of course.” he shrugged casually as he slowly made to reach for a piece of the potatoes you'd cooked to have on the side for dinner, but you noticed him and slapped his hand away, earning a not-so-innocent smile in return “I mean... What else is there else to talk about, of significance, in a small town like Westview besides holidays and who the new otherworldly couples in town are. The second having little to no point when one's wife can read minds, amongst so many other things, and said one is a metal-armed 106-year-old.” he sighed, raising his metal arm which he usually kept covered when outside “Honestly, I don't know who're gonna get called out on it first. Wanda and Vision or us.”
“We're handling it great. Besides, oh well a 15 year old gap is so overrated anyway. I tell you, 106 is the new 30, don't you worry a second, dear. You don't look a day over that.” you smiled sweetly, leaning in to peck his lips as he grinned.
“Ah yes, coming from the woman who last time we fought you told me that it's time to stop mourning over my buddy Rexi the dinosaur cause they're all gone now.” he said with a raised eyebrow and you shrugged.
“I don't see what you mean, I was still right.” you brushed him off, checking once more the temperature of the milk “Besides, getting off track here? You still haven't explained to me how that lovely and sparkly shield is of any use to us in Halloween?”
“Well, not us, obviously.” he turned to, according to everyone including him, his little princess “Jean of course!” he picked one of her hands and let her tiny fingers wrap around one of his as she let a giggle when he kissed her belly “It's all you've been talking about with Wanda these days. Her boys have their suits already in mind, it wouldn't be right for Jean to not have hers. It's her first Halloween anyway, even if she can't do any proper trick or treat yet.”
“I'm well aware of that, seeing as I've been planning all of ours suits. And no-” you raised a finger when you saw him raise an interested eyebrow “No, I'm not wearing the skirt version of it. Besides, what we're talking about here is Jean and I still fail to see how a shield will be any part of our little Phoenix's suit.”
“Well, because it's Halloween and she's- Well, she's part of this and she'll- The shield is part of the suit, honey. Obviously. I don't see what confuses you so much as to-”
“And I don't see what confuses you so much that you'd make a shield for her, beautiful as it might be, even though it has no place in all of it. Especially after I made it quiet clear on what costume will be.” you pointed out, baby bottle back on the counter as you crossed your arms over your chest “Honestly, I would rather her have a sparkly version of Sam's redwing before incorporating the shield in her phoenix look.”
He let silence fill the room, save for your daughter's adorable baby noises, before he finally spoke in all seriousness “No, no you wouldn't. You hate that thing too... It was the main reason that made me ask the question, like when you realize you've met your soulmate.”
“I-” only half a pause before you nodded “Yeah, you're right. I hate it... although I can't really remember how it looks like sometimes to be honest. Huh weird.” you let out a breathless laugh, frowning nonetheless.
“Oh how I'd wish for that sort of blessing.” he huffed “Including its owner.”
“Hush you love him!” you hit his shoulder “And, well, that's still all besides the point. Because Jean is not going to have a redwing or shield to her phoenix look in any sort of way. Maybe next Halloween if you wanna choose the costume, fine by me. But this year I am following through with my plans and not changing my mind.”
“Plans of what? Her being a phoenix bird? I get it, it's all magical and what not but-”
“Not just any phoenix bird, geez weez, do you not even listen when I speak, Mr Barnes?” you shook your head with a roll of your eyes.
“Well, sometimes it gets impossibly hard when you look as stunning as today, Mrs Barnes. Sadly all words fade away and as I am captured by your beauty all I can seem to hear is kiss me. How can I not comply?” he said so innocently and with such an adorable smile you couldn't help your fond one in return.
Seeing such adoration and love written all over your face had your heart on overdrive again, as if it was the first time you realized you were in love with him again. It was incredible how you could barely remember that moment whenever you thought about it, however you didn't care. You couldn't find yourself to care when looking at him had your chest fill with warmth, a pleasant buzz all over your body and no weight dragging you down. He made things more simple, having his love and having him by his side made life have meaning and your future full of hope. It hadn't been easy, that much in a way you could remember, but you knew it was worth it because he was worth it. You wanted to give him all your love, wishing that it could live up to the one in his eyes for you in return, so that he could understand what you did from the first moment you met him: he deserved it.
And even if- you couldn't explain why you thought so, but even if there were ever people that would willingly leave him behind, even if you'd never understand that, you were ready to show to him that you could and would be with him till the end of the line. This love you had in you for him had sealed the deal long before you even knew about it.
If anything, you were more than willing to live in this small town, heavens in these four walls of your house, so long as you had him by your side and were able to give him all the love you didn't know you had for him.
You shook your head lightly and gave him “Sweet talking me will get you nowhere, darling. Or rather-” you paused, smirking at him “It might get you in one place. The bedroom.” you grinned when you saw his eyebrows raise in interest “To get Jean's suit. Cause I remember I have some adjustments to make.”
“Bet you do.” he huffed like a little child “Cause she'll be a bird and not a superhero who-”
“Not just a phoenix bird, Buck. The phoenix, that's different.” you pointed out, making him frown.
“How is that different? And what... is the phoenix?”
“Well, it's-” you started but paused abruptly, frowning at your own thoughts “It's actually-” you blinked several time and let out a nervous laugh “Funny thing, I... can't remember. Wow that's... it happens all the more often lately.”
“Can't be important then, right?” he brushed it off casually even though you kept frowning in deep thought which for some reason didn't lead anywhere “Certainly no more than Jean's suit that it... And how we could incorporate a shiel-”
“No.” you cut him off before he could get to complete his sentence “Not gonna happen. I've already got everything planned, you're not going to ruin my plans.”
“Is this how it's gonna go every Halloween now? Us fighting over what Jean's costume will be until she's old enough to choose herself?”
“Oh dear, of course not. It's not fighting when you don't stand a chance against me in the first place.” you shrugged innocently and he tried to look stern by narrowing his eyes at you but you smiled and pecked his lips before speaking “I mean, you could never say no to these pretty eyes, could you?” you batted your eyes at him and he very fast, much faster than last time, sighed in defeat and nodded his head “Besides, you don't have to worry. Next Halloween we'll make her a costume that incorporates the shield too, happy?”
“Always.” he breathed out with such ease that it took a few seconds for you to not openly stare at just how much relaxed he looked, how he truly meant it and how shockingly different he looked while admitting it compared to only a few months ago... months, you weren't sure of the time anymore but truth was that you didn't care, because if there was one thing you could remember was that he had not always been like this and to have him truly happy made everything worth it.
“However-” he cleared his throat, as if noticing how you'd zoned out “That doesn't really solve the problem. Having to compromise, you know. Why should any of us have to? However, if we were to have more than one option...” he trailed off, leaning in closer without any regard for your personal space, not that he needed to, as you narrowed your eyes suspiciously at him “Say... if we were to have more than one options then things wouldn't be this hard, right? Just... to make it easier on ourselves?”
“Make it easier... how exactly?”
His hands found your hips, earning a small giggle from you as he pecked your neck once, twice and three times before he kissed your cheek and the temple, whispering in the end “Let's make more.” it earned a squeal from your as your eyes widened but he grinned even more widely “Come on, think about it. A little boy or maybe another baby girl, Jean would make a great sister. And we wouldn't have to argue about the Halloween costumes. Besides... would be a fun process either way.”
“You have to be kidding me.” you gave him a serious expression but his hopeful smile- no, scratch that. His smile that was bordering that of an idiot, if not lovesick one (but you were on the same boat on that), didn't fade in the least bit “Oh you have to- Alright, Mr Barnes, how about you learn how to feed your daughter without making a mess first and then you can come and talk to me about a second or third one hm? Cause, good as you might be at changing diapers, it ain't just that.”
“She just makes a mess because she enjoys to laugh at my expense, just like you and Sam.” he pointed out and you fought back a smile “And- Hold up a second... did you just say third? You think you're gonna let me ask for a third one too?”
Your eyes widened when you realized that he was really considering the prospect before your lips parted, you being ready to retort-
Only for no words to be uttered after that from your lips. The only sound being a deep intake of air as you were startled awake. Soon followed by a groan as you took in your surroundings and realized you were sadly still in your room. Sadly? Really? You didn't know if that was the case but even if it was, you didn't want to think even more about it. You buried your face in your pillow, not ready to face the day yet because... who were you even kidding? You wanted to go back to it. If not that fake reality, if not the playhouse that Wanda had built out of her grief and had dragged you into it as well - and maybe you hated yourself for how part of you did want that - then at least your dream would be nice.
It's been months and yet it feels as if it's been just yesterday that you were all released from her control. How could you not feel that way after all? When you were awake, the fake reality you'd thought your life was constantly on your mind, and when you were asleep even if you were not thinking of it, you were dreaming about it. It was constantly on your mind. And as if the experience itself, mind-control and all, hadn't left you with a few mental scares to add to your already existing ones to take care of, then the realization of the truth that lay within your own heart, was more than enough to keep the events replaying on your mind day and night.
To put matters simply: when you had followed your best friend, Wanda, after seeing her so distraught, leaving SWORD, you had never thought you'd find yourself playing house with a fake copy of one and only James Bucky Barnes thanks to said best friend. But while there was a chance for that, you never thought there was a chance that you'd realize you had feelings for the man all along.
Your life had been different there. Maybe because you were always close with the other Avenger, who knew. While there were times where you'd experience Wanda's grief, her nightmares from time to time came to haunt you at night just like it did with the rest of the town, your life was mostly... good. No, forget that, your life was nearly perfect. You had everything you wished for and things you didn't even know you had wished for. Maybe deep down you had always wanted it, a normal life, peace and calm, a kid whether it was yours or not... Bucky. You had probably always wanted him but didn't know it yourself, no doubt you were too busy crushing over Steve.
If only your current self could see your past self, or at least self of barely a year ago, you'd have smacked some sense into your stupid self who thought Steve Rogers was the only man you could ever have eyes for. While you had come to be very close with the Captain and ended up doing almost everything together, everyone thought there was much more to the two of you, that it hadn't even occurred to you to think that Steve wasn't really the one you wanted. Maybe you had convinced yourself so, in a way that now that he was no longer there you were more shaken by the fact that you were not shaken by how he had decided to live his life with Peggy in the past than his absence itself.
You had not felt any sort of betrayal, nor that you were suddenly all alone, certainly not as if anything was missing from your life. Granted, you had plenty to think about most of the time, day and night, but that didn't change things. You wished Steve had had a happy ending and you would on the occasion miss him the way you'd miss... a brother. You were always calm, no worries or fears, content with the fact that you knew he had been happy even if it was away from you because, in a way, you wanted it to be that way, it was natural. However, the mere thought of someone else leaving, someone that you thought far too often about, made your heart leap to your throat and your stomach tie in knots. The mere thought that Bucky could leave the way Steve had done made your throat close in a painful way and your eyes burn with tears, making you realize just who mattered the most.
If, again, Wanda plucking the truth about your feelings for the man to give you a life with him wasn't proof enough.
Your phone buzzing made you jump once more, eyes landing on the device on the nightstand. Reaching for it you were not surprised to see the messages that were pilled in your inbox. All from the same specific someone. A specific someone you had found yourself speaking with all the more often lately. Each time successfully managing to make you smile in one way or another, without fail.
Good morning. :)
Did I use that one correctly? I keep forgetting them, no matter how many times you show me.
And show him you had, just like that there was an option for him to choose from different ones instead of having to type them, but that was still work in progress. So even if Bucky learning emojis was a memory that you'd cherish forever, it wasn't the only important one at the moment.
On second thought, it's a bit too early.
You're probably still asleep. Nevermind. Sorry for bothering you.
And then more, shortly afterwards.
I only wanted to know if you're alright, that's all.
Anyway, hope I didn't wake you up.
He, much like everyone else, thought it was hard on you to deal with Steve being gone so he did his best to keep in touch and being as selfish as you were, you didn't bring yourself to tell him the truth that you cared more to know about how he was and wanted the contact for that. Maybe he was also worried about you after Wanda's mind-control too. But if Sam's words were anything to go by, then it was all an excuse for Bucky to stay close with you. You didn't let your hopes get up for that reason though. You could gladly take whatever you got without wondering.
Again it was followed not much later by another message.
I've actually got something to talk to you about. Something happened, though you could already know if you saw the news. Can I come over to talk with you? I need your opinion on the matter.
And shortly afterwards came.
I've already got your favorite breakfast. To make up for, probably, waking you up. :)
The next one had taken longer, he had probably been waiting for an answer all that time. You couldn't help but feel bad about it. That and the fact that the reason behind you not replying earlier was because of how immensed you were in your fantasy life with him that you had not told him a thing about.
(Y/n)... are you sure you're alright? It's getting late even for you.
Truth was you had more trouble waking up after having a dream of that time. But you couldn't tell him that. And then there was the latest one.
Alright, I'm coming over. I really hope you're not dead in there. I'm not going to let you hear the end of it if you are. Oh dear, I sound like Sam right now. Forget I ever said that. Both of it.
Before you even had the time to think about what he could mean, because no you had really not seen the news yet, let alone type back a reply, the door to your bedroom burst open. It earned a squeal from you as you looked with wide eyes at Bucky standing on the doorway. You weren't even surprised how you hadn't heard him, not when he already had keys to your apartment and could easily sneak up on you. Not that him surprising you was what you cared about at the moment. It was, and you could only admit it to yourself, more important how you looked at the moment – and having just woken up you weren't sure just how attractive you looked – than anything else. Especially when Bucky looked better than ever with that new haircut that you were sure he'd gotten on purpose, just to test how much your heart could take.
“I thought doors existed back in your days, Barnes. Maybe knocking was an option too.”
You saw him let out a sigh of relief, shoulders relaxing “What would have been the point if you were dead? You wouldn't have replied anyway.”
“Bold of you to assume I would miss on another chance to lecture you about the proper use of emojis, Mr Barnes. Even death could not stop me.” you broke into a grin and he chuckled.
“What, did I really mess it up?” he asked with a small, far too adorable for your own good, frown.
“Oh no you got it just right.” you said softly, adoring the proud look on his face before you added “However, I've told you, you don't have to type them anymore. There is an option on your keyboard with that kind of stuff for you to-”
“Eh alright, alright I get it. I suck at it. I'm not even gonna try using them anymore.”
“Wha- No!” you whined softly “No, Buck, I didn't mean that. Come on, you're good. You just... have a lot to learn still.” you shrugged “That's all. We didn't do great at first either. Nobody really got emojis a first, but you'll get the hang of it.”
“But you still think I am a grandpa when it comes to technology. And my age doesn't help on that case either.” he shrugged, as if he meant it casually as a joke but you could see a small hint of self-consciousness there as well.
“Nonsense.” you said softly, finally throwing the blankets off you “You're far from a grandpa, Buck. In fact, I strongly believe that 106 is the new 30, and you don't look a day over that.” the words were out of your lips before you could even think about it and when you realized what you'd said, your smile flattered a bit. You were glad his back was turned to on that second that he didn't notice. You cleared your throat, sobering up “Besides, new things are not everyone's cup of tea anyway.”
“Uh yeah...” you notice the relaxed, and almost happy, look fade away from his face as his eyebrows pulled back into a frown. He looked down for a second, leaning against the doorframe with his hands in his pockets “Things do change. Sometimes faster than we can adapt to the new world around us.”
“Alright, unless you're channeling Charles Darwin right now, which I don't think you are, care to explain to me what's wrong? Because... I am guessing something is, judging by your expression.” you got up and approached “Is this... about the shield? I- I don't know if Sam giving it up is that much of a good choice however... he must have his reasons, right?”
“Well, yes, but- this is not just about that.” he sighed, finally looking up to meet your eyes “Something happened and I've been thinking about it, I wanted your opinion on it. You know it matters to me.”
“...And? There is more to that, come on. Tell me.” you knew him too well and you hadn't even realized when that happened too “You know you can... Always.”
“I do.” he paused for a moment, holding your gaze before he let a soft sigh “It's just, I am going to go find Sam and... I want you to come with me. If you're up for it, I would like you to be there with me... maybe?”
“You know... I should punch you just for doubting whether I'd follow you or not. But just because it won't lead anywhere for me-” you smirked at him “Buy me dinner too and consider yourself excused and me up for any challenge. Strongest Avenger at your disposal, Mr Barnes.” you patted his shoulder, enjoying the deep chuckle that came from him. Even if his next words made the air get caught in your throat.
“It's a date then.”
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rhysismydaddy · 3 years
Text
Prisoner's Game Pt. 4 (Rowaelin)
THANK YALL FOR BEING PATIENT I AM SO SORRY
Parts 1 \ 2 \ 3
________________________________
Journal Entry #2000
Sometimes I think it wouldn't be so bad to die.
To leave this island forever and not have to worry about being discovered anymore.
I wasn't always this macabre, but two thousand days of checking over my shoulder and wishing for a man's murder has dulled the wishful excitement I felt when I first got here.
Five years ago, I was grateful to even be alive.
I couldn't believe a stranger give up everything for me and the others--couldn't believe she'd agree to fight this battle because of my decision.
I have to actually remind myself to still be grateful to her, if I'm being honest.
Because sometimes I think about that night all those years ago, when she showed up in the darkest part of the night to kill me. When she'd held the knife with a trembling hand and told me that the price for betraying Arobynn Hamel was my life. When we discovered together that she couldn't bring herself to kill me.
Sometimes I think it would be better if she would've just done it.
At least it would've been over.
At least I wouldn't have to spend years on an island, living the same day over and over again. I think that's what's driving me mad, beyond anything else.
The predictability of my time.
Every day, I follow the same routine. The routine she laid out for me in a hushed whisper.
I wake up and go to the small café a mile down the road to watch the news. And every day, I pray to see Arobynn Hamel's face next to to the words, "Breaking news: billionaire crime boss found dead."
Because that was her only stipulation.
That the ten of us would stay on the island, hidden from sight, until news of his death was announced. In exchange, we got to live.
She'd warned me it would take a long time.
She'd told me to not get complacent.
And then she'd whispered what she planned to do.
Even now, over five years later, the words she'd whispered while shoving a plane ticket and a new passport into my hands were crystal clear.
"The devil isn't going to go down easy."
~Aelin~
The shaft of her recently-fashioned shiv was cold in her hand as she silently grabbed it from under her pillow.
The soft clink of the bars shutting again told her whoever had just snuck in her cell was now locked in with her.
Unfortunate for them.
She wasn't afforded the luxury of a clock, but she knew it was the middle of the night. Normal visiting hours were far over. There was no one here but the bored night guards, four janitorial staff, and rows and rows of sleeping inmates.
And the idiot trying to sneak up behind her bed.
She kept her eyes closed as she listened to the quiet steps walk closer and closer. Right when she was about to turn around and attack, they stopped.
Then the weirdest thing happened. It sounded like whoever it was slid down the wall directly across from her bed.
A killer wouldn't do that.
Curiosity piqued, Aelin turned her head to see who and what was going on.
It was dark in the cell, but she'd recognize that shock of silver hair anywhere.
"Rowan?" she whispered, so quietly she almost didn't even hear herself. "What are you doing here?"
He didn't respond, but the way his muscles tensed told her he'd heard her.
Slowly, she sat up so she could see him better and maybe figure out what was going on.
For the first time in a long time, he looked less than perfect. Far less than it, actually.
His hair was going every possible direction, like he'd been running hands through it and pulling on it. He was wearing a gray t-shirt, rumpled dress slacks, and tennishoes that weren't even tied.
But that wasn't what worried her most. It was the way he was sitting completely still and silent.
He didn't even look like he was breathing.
"Hey," she tried again. "What's going on? Look at me."
Another few heartbeats passed, and then he slowly shook his head.
"Please, Rowan. Just look at me."
He winced, like hearing her say his name physically hurt him.
And then his head came up.
Deep green eyes met hers, and even though it was what she'd wanted, what she'd needed, Aelin instantly wished he'd look away.
Because with one look, she knew he'd figured it out.
He knew, and the pain and turmoil in his eyes... she'd put that there.
She'd seen him angry and sad and happy and everything in between, but she'd never seen him, or anyone else, look so broken.
He looked completely and utterly broken as he sat before her.
"Rowan," she whispered, shaking her head even though she didn't know why.
He bowed his head again, seemingly unable to even look at her.
"Ro," she whispered, dropping to her knees in front of him.
Almost like the old nickname broke something inside him, Rowan's shoulders started to shake.
And then he sobbed.
It was the kind of sob that couldn't possibly be held in. The kind that made her heart clench and tears brew in her own eyes, the kind that told her how much pain he was in.
Tears ran down her cheeks as she put a hand on his arm. He shook off the touch like it burned him and looked up at her again.
"I ruined your life," he croaked, the tears on his face reeking of self-hatred. "I ruined your life."
She shook her head. "No, you didn't."
Anger bled into his tone. "I put you in prison for eight years for murdering people who aren't even fucking dead, Aelin. I didn't listen to you, didn't look hard enough. I've had the clues you left me for eight years. We were in love, and I didn't even try hard enough to... I... please explain to me how I didn't ruin your life."
"You did not ruin my life, Rowan," she told him again, meaning every word.
"Eight years of your life, gone because of me. I don't even understand how you can look at me." He huffed a laugh, but he was far from amused. "No wonder you hate me."
His chest was heaving, his hands were in fists, and his stubble-crested jaw was damp with tears.
And she'd thought he hadn't cared.
Aelin felt like a fool--a horrible, stupid fool--for ever doubting him. For thinking him indignant.
Because this was technically what she'd wanted. What she'd planned to happen.
She'd wanted it to hurt, had wanted him to feel an ounce of what she'd felt when he'd led the case against her.
But it wasn't what she wanted anymore.
Moving slowly, Aelin crawled onto his lap, put her hands on the side of his face, and lifted his gaze to hers while she said, "Arobynn Hamel ruined my life, not you."
He shook his head, breathing heavily. "No-"
She cut him off by wrapping herself around him.
Like she was trying to heal physical wounds, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled his head to her chest. She sank into him until there wasn't an inch of space between them. Her hands wandered over his back as she held him tight to her.
He was stiffer than a board at first, but eventually he sagged against her, wrapping his arms around her in return.
It was like he was drowning in the sea, and she was the only thing preventing him from being swept away. He shook, his entire body trembling, and his arms became a vice around her.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered after a moment.
She shook her head, but it didn't matter. He said it again, and again, and again, until his voice was hoarse and broken.
Aelin ran her hands over his back slowly, and just held him as pain he'd felt for eight years seemed to reach a crest.
Eventually he stopped crying and just laid against her, warm breath fanning across her collarbone.
"I'm so sorry, Aelin," he whispered yet again.
"Please stop saying that. None of this is your fault. You aren't the reason I'm in prison."
"Yes, I am," he insisted, shifting beneath her. "But I'm getting you out right now."
He looked up, eyes bright with new-found purpose, and wiped the tears off his cheeks like they were distracting him.
"What?"
He nodded quickly. "We can bring those people back, and you can get your life back. I know it's not the same, and I know I can't get you these years back, but-"
"No."
He paused. "No?"
She shook her head. "I can't leave yet."
"Leave? What the hell does that mean?"
"It means I still have shit to do here. I'm not leaving before it's done."
His eyes narrowed. "You're acting like this is a hotel, not a high-security prison. And what do you even mean?"
Aelin had the good sense to feel a little guilty as she slowly got to her feet and walked to the wall at the back of the cell. A few well-placed taps later, it swung open.
Rowan's mouth dropped open, then closed, then repeated the whole routine like he couldn't decide what to say first.
He apparently figured it out, because it opened again so he accuse, "I knew you were robbing me! Where the fuck is my bed?"
She sighed and rubbed her temples. "That's what you care about right now? Seriously?"
He grumbled something as he got to his feet and leaned into the makeshift doorway in the wall.
It took him a few moments to examine the ladder leading down to the tunnel, and then he straightened and looked at her again with a mixture of confusion, awe, and understanding on his face.
"You've been sneaking out this whole time."
She nodded.
Most of her escapes had been in the past six months, but she'd occasionally left in the years before to check on something or track down a lead.
"You beat up your roommate so they'd put you back in solitary."
Aelin nodded again.
"But how did you know they'd bring you to this cell?"
A small smile pulled on her lips. "Look again," she told him, gesturing towards the open brick door.
He stuck his head in the hole again and couldn't stifle his surprised intake of breath as he saw the other ladders.
He came back in the cell, and the expression on his face made her bite her lip to hold back a smile. "You... you tunneled into prison?"
"Into every solitary cell," she confirmed.
"When? Why?"
"One of my old jobs for Arobynn was to break a client of his out of solitary. I knew which cell he was in, but... getting locked up is kind of a right of passage for my former career, so I figured I'd plan ahead and give myself a way out, should I ever need it." She smiled. "Hamel never could figure out how I did it, so it's safe for me to use now."
Rowan spent a long moment looking at her. "That's... genius."
"I tend to be," she agreed.
They were both silent for a minute, then he said, "You need to tell me everything. Enough of both of us wasting time assuming what the other is thinking. We need to get everything out in the open, and we need to do it now."
Aelin nodded, knowing it was true.
It was time to either finally trust him or kill him, and just the thought of the latter made something inside of her twist so hard she felt nauseous.
She nodded to the tunnel, not wanting to have the following conversation overheard by any prying ears. He nodded and followed her down, closing the door behind him.
When she knew they were alone, she started to explain.
"Maddison Kliff, my first so-called victim, funded her campaign for senator with money from Arobynn Hamel."
Rowan's eyebrows went up in surprise, but he nodded for her continue.
"He gave it to her, with the caveat that when she won, she'd vote against renewable energy for Rifthold. He has millions in oil, so when she did the exact opposite and voted for the green plan that switched the city to 70% electric, he took a pretty hard hit." She took a deep breath. "The day after the vote, I got my orders to kill her."
His jaw clenched.
"I went that night, thinking I could do it. Thinking I'd get it over with and never think about it again. I snuck in her townhouse and had everything set up." She let out a laugh. "But then I realized my deal with Arobynn covered ten of Sam's jobs. If I killed Maddison, and did a good enough job of it to get away with it, I knew he'd put nine more names on the list."
"So you didn't do it," Rowan said, like he already knew but needed to hear her say it.
"So I didn't do it."
Aelin ran a hand through her hair, starting to pace. "I ran. And then I went back the next night with a suitcase, a new ID for her, and a plan."
"Why Aruba?" he asked.
"I'd done all that research for our trip," she said, a pang of sadness shooting through her at the memory of planning their first vacation together. "I didn't have time to research another place. And I never told you, but the house I wanted us to rent? You kind of... own it."
"I own a house in Aruba," he repeated slowly, his tone making it clear he didn't understand.
She rolled her eyes at his tone. "Arobynn might be a bastard I'd love to put in a grave, but he paid me well. I was eighteen and didn't know what else to do with the money. So I bought a house."
"In Aruba. In my name."
She nodded. "No one can trace it back to you. It's hidden in an off-shore corporation, owed by another off-shore corporation, but technically, yes, you're the owner. It was going to be your Christmas present."
"You bought me a house," his lips twitched. "For a Christmas present."
"I was in love with you," she muttered. Then pointed out, "My lack of shopping impulse control really isn't the point of the story."
He rolled his eyes, still fighting a grin at her antics. "Please continue."
"Right. So I sent her to the house in Aruba and told her to stay at the house with anyone else he wanted me to kill. I told her to not say a word to anyone besides those people, and that I'd be forced to actually kill her if she did. If Arobynn finds out they're alive, he'll send someone for me."
She explained the list next. "He requires proof of all completed jobs, so I kept the "murder weapons" and made sure the crime scenes had enough blood to indicate the person couldn't still be alive. It was mostly fake, but I took just enough blood from each of the victims and mixed it in to make it realistic enough to fool DNA scanners. Then I put the weapons in storage lockers he owns and wrote the numbers down so I wouldn't forget them."
Rowan nodded, most certainly remembering that part.
He was doing a good job of hiding his emotions, but she still saw how heavily this all weighed on him.
Everything he'd been feeling for eight years was hitting him at once, and while explanation made sense, it probably didn't make him feel any better about the role he'd played in all of this.
He confirmed it by asking, "Why didn't you tell me?"
He asked it almost casually, but she didn't miss the pain he couldn't keep from seeping into his voice.
"I wanted to," she breathed. "Gods, I wanted to. I know now you investigated before giving the list to the cops, but to me, it looked like you found it and just turned me in. You never asked me. And you looked at me... you looked at me like you thought I was guilty. I knew you wouldn't believe me."
Rowan went quiet, regret and shame coming off of him in waves so thick she almost choked on it.
"How is all of this going to play out?" he asked, seemingly trying to force himself to think about something else. "And what do you have to do that you need to be in prison for?"
She hesitated, suddenly not wanting to tell him.
Not out of a lack of trust, but because if she told him... he'd realize she's guilty of the crime she's in prison for. He might go back to hating her, back to thinking her a horrible person.
And she just got him back.
She's pulled from her thoughts when he reaches a hand out, slowly gripping her jaw to tilt her face to his.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said, the words final.
Of course he knew what she was thinking just from looking at her face. He always was a little too astute.
A part of Aelin wanted to put on a brave face and act like that wasn't exactly what she'd been worrying about, but a bigger part wanted him. Wanted him to see that even after all this time, she needed him.
So she forced down the witty jokes and sultry smiles she usually used as ways to hide her vulnerability and looked up at him.
"Promise?"
He closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. "I promise, Aelin."
His hand was still on her face, and he leaned in until his forehead rested against hers. "I'm never going to leave you again. I'm so... I'm so fucking sorry I did in the first place. I should've come to you, or at least listened when you told me you were innocent."
"I'm sorry I thought you didn't fight for me," she said back. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
They'd both done things they regretted, but Aelin knew that now, no matter what, he was telling the truth. He wasn't going to leave her.
The knowledge felt like a weight lifting off her shoulders, and just to lighten the mood, she whispered, "And I'm sorry I stole your bed."
He pulled back to glare at her. "You're going to explain one day how you even pulled that off. But I'd like the answer to my other question first."
Aelin took a step back and ran a hand through her hair.
"Arobynn Hamel dying is the endgame, Rowan. I have to stay in prison so I can kill him and have an alibi no one will question."
He paused, and for a moment, her fears skyrocketed, so she rushed to explain, "As long as he's alive, those people have to be in hiding and I have to look like I killed them. Once he's dead, I can bring them back without worrying Arobynn will kill them. Or me."
He gave her a strange look, but she spoke before he could, explaining, "It's why I've been in prison for so long. I would've killed him and ended it years ago, but I only found him a couple months ago. He's been in hiding ever since I was locked up, because the FBI knew I was one of his and started looking for him."
"Okay, but Aelin-"
She cut him off. "I know it's insane and not at all ideal, but I need you to leave me in here. Just until he's dead, and then it's over."
He stepped forward and grabs her shoulders, shaking her slightly.
And then he did the weirdest thing.
He smiled.
"What the hell do you look happy about?" she demanded. "I'm being serious-"
It was his turn to interrupt her. "Aelin, if that's the stipulation, you're already free."
Unease drifted through her stomach. "What do you mean?"
"I mean he's already dead."
Shock rushed through her so fast and thoroughly, her vision swam and she swayed in his grip. "What... what did you just say?"
"That's why I came today, now. I actually figured out you were innocent two days ago, but I wasn't going to come until I could tell you with certainty I was getting you out, and I knew you couldn't bring everyone back without risking your life. I've spent the past 48 hours planning a jailbreak and a way to sneak you to somewhere the US doesn't have extradition."
He grinned again. "But then it was announced on the 11 o'clock news tonight that he died last week of pneumonia complications. His family kept it private because they wanted a small funeral, but he's dead, Aelin."
Still feeling the weight of shock, she argued, "He's not dead."
"But he is."
"No," she insisted, pushing away from him and starting to pace again. "He can't be dead."
His face softened at the panic in her voice. "Aelin, I know you wanted it to be you, but-"
"No, Rowan, you don't understand. I mean he cannot physically be dead, because I haven't finished killing him!"
It was his turn to be shocked.
"What do you mean you haven't finished killing him?"
She took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check. "I've been poisoning him since the day I figured out where he holes up. Turns out he has kidney problems and goes in once a week for dialysis. I show up and add a little... extra to his medication. The last time I went was less than a week ago, and while he might have been sick, he most definitely was still alive."
Besides that, what were the odds that Rowan figured out her "victims" were still alive, and just two days later Arobynn croaks?
It would be one hell of a coincidence, and Aelin learned long ago to not believe in those.
His eyes went wide. "What? You mean he faked his death? Why the hell would he do that?"
"Because," she said slowly, dread forming like a lead ball in her stomach as she realized what this meant for her, for the ten people whose lives she'd traded her freedom for. "I told Maddison and the others to wait for news of his death before coming back. I told them that until he was dead, they weren't safe."
She shook her head, whispering, "I told them to watch the news."
Rowan realized what she was saying and cursed.
"He knows."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Lemme know in the comments if you want to be tagged!
Part 5 will (realistically) be out in the next three weeks. Sorry for the slow updates; school is consuming all my time and energy.
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kaijime · 4 years
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perverted
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anon. Could I request being Yams sister and Tsukki perving over her🥺 like she’s so innocent, letting him touch her..him rubbing her thighs and “accidentally” pushing his bulge against her ass... maybe him finally snapping and dry jumping her on the couch before fucking her tight cunny into the mattress while Yams is in the other room 🥺🤲🏻🤲🏻
includes. tsukishima kei (yamaguchi is here too but nothing smutty happens with him since he’s your brother)
cw. fem reader, dry humping, dirty talk, humiliation, size kink if you squint, non-con ish?? In the beginning, oral (receiving), fingering, vaginal penetration, creampie
a/n. Wow...no thoughts, head empty. Only this request
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It all started as innocent touches on your shoulder and brushing his hand when he sat next to you. But he would never want to do anything else, right? He’s your brother’s friend so he wouldn’t want to hurt you. That’s what you told yourself.
And that’s what you told yourself when he sometimes rubbed circles on your thigh under the sheets that were covering all three of you when you were watching a movie. Your brother would ask what’s wrong when you let out a heavy sigh, and you would reply with a simple ‘I’m fine’.
“Hey, I’m gonna go to the corner store and grab some snacks, wanna come with?” your big brothers words being completely ignored by Tsukishima, or so he appeared to be. His gaze was fixated in the movie, but he heard his friends question loud and clear.
“I’ll go with you”
“Are you really that scared of me (Y/n)?” the air could not be filled with more tension after the blonde’s question. You knew he would never try to hurt you, but it still made you nervous having to stay home alone with him.
“(Y/n), stay with Tsuki, it would be rude to leave him in our house alone, I’ll be back quickly. When he shut the door behind him you looked at the tall male, staring at the movie like a fascinated two year old.
“Come (Y/n), sit” he patted the spot on the couch next to him, his demanding tome sent butterflies to your stomach but you did as told. You weren’t afraid of him, but then again you sat next to him. He scooched over to his right, the side where you were seated and put his arm around your shoulder. You were uneasy at first, but then you leaned on his shoulder, the calm ambient in the room was enough to make you fall asleep, so why didn’t you?
Was it because his other hand was rubbing your uncovered thigh, and threatening to touch your lovely parts.
“T-Tsuki, we shouldn’t do this”
“Shouldn’t do what?” and you wondered if it was really all innocent, he’s a friend. You blame yourself for thinking any more if his friendly touches, that’s until he turned your head and pushed his lips against yours. The sudden kiss left your eyes wide, shocked with surprise. The arm that was on top of your shoulders, pulling you close to his figure, is now on your waist and sneaking down to your ass. You moaned into the kiss when he pulled you closer to him, he switched positions to have you underneath him, a leg on either side of your body.
The hot make out session was quickly turning into his hands running all over your body, memorizing the feeling of every inch, every curve, every bump in your skin. He moved his clothed cock against your heat, creating friction where you needed him the most. The only thing that could be heard in the silent house were your breathy moans and his panting voice, every time he moved his hips.
“Is this what you’ve been wanting all along? You’ve been wishing I’d touch you when your brother isn’t looking? He left for a few minutes and your this desperate?”
“I-I...”
“Look at yourself, you can’t even say the proper words, I’m not even inside you and yet you seem so fucked out” you nodded your head as he kept moving, the couch was squeaking at all the movement happening but it could barely be heard from all your loud moans. “Shut it! You wouldn’t want the neighbors to hear you, or I guess you would, let them hear how good I’m ma-”
The sound of keys jingling at the door.
Your eyes shoot open and you push the tall male off of you, quickly arranging yourself so your brother wouldn’t suspect anything.
“Hey, you guys! I found some cheap sodas so I bought them and the chips were two for the price of one so...” and he kept talking about his great experience at the corner store, while you tried to remove the blush from your face, until Tsuki leaned closer to your ear.
“He really has no idea... wanna continue tonight?” you nod your head without looking at him.
“(Y/n)? What’s the matter? You look so red, are you feeling alright?” and Tsuki looked at you with an almost unnoticed smirk, but you noticed it.
“I’m fine, its just a little hot in here” the rest of the night was full of teasing from the blonde male, eyeing you up and down when you got up, resting his hand on your thigh.
This one time you went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, but the glass cup was on the top shelf, making it difficult for your short figure to reach. You were about to ask for help from your brother, when you felt the tall figure behind you, not only reaching the cup for you, but also pressing his erect dick on your ass. Your breath hitched and you were left in shock, doing things while your brother was on the store was something, but doing something so lewd while he could just turn his head a few inches and see you, that made the wet spot in your shorts even more visible.
The night came to an end, and Tsukishima decided he was gonna sleep in Yamaguchi’s room. Yet, when the tall boy walked past you in the hall he whispered.
“Thirty minutes, I want you naked when I go to your room”
You walk to your room, the sound of your beating heart was overwhelming, it was so loud and so fast. You discarded all of your clothes to a corner in the room and laid down on the bed, resting your head on your pillows as you waited for him to come to your room. That’s when the nerves really hit you, you were gonna have sex next to your brothers room, with your brothers friend! What if he caught you guys doing it? What would he think of his cute little innocent sister if he saw her doing it with his friend? If he did catch you guys, you wouldn’t want their friendship to be ruined because of you.
Suddenly the doorknob turned and he walked inside, locking the door behind him and turning to admire the cute naked girl. “He’s fast asleep” He said and walked towards the bed. Standing beside you, admiring your body, glistening in the moonlight that shined through your window.
“Such a dirty little girl, waiting for me with nothing on, just like I asked” He took off his shirt and his sweatpants, left in nothing but his boxers that hid what you wanted to see the most. He took them off, revealing his long erect cock. “Only needy girls stare, are you that needy?”
“I w-want you... daddy” your eyes met, both filled with lust and desire for each other. He made his way on top of you and kissed you, it was deep and needy. It was sloppy and messy but deep down it was filled with all the feelings he had been holding back for you. All those times you would kneel down to pick up something and he only wished he could take you then and there. All the times he saw you applying chapstick and thought to himself how good those lips would feel around his cock.
“Spread your legs for me” and you did, your pretty little cunt on display for him, your slick dripping down your inner thigh. He moves his head down so his face is at the same level as your pussy, and he licks a long stripe through your heat.
“H-hah...” you moan as he keeps licking and lapping up your juices until he sucks on your clit. The pleasure is making your moans go even higher and you cover your mouth with your hand to keep them in.
“You have to be quiet babe, you wouldn’t want your brother to find out his innocent little sister calling out my name, would you?” and he entered a finger into your hole, your walls pulling him in as he was giving you what you wanted.
“T-Tsu- Kei... I want you... I need y-you please!” and he chuckled at your begging, his voice sending vibrations through your cunt. “K-Kei...”
“Use your words slut, tell me what you want- no- tell me what you need”
“I need... y-you Kei, I n-need... I need your big c-cock inside my cunny, p-please... g-give it to me daddyyy... I-I’ll take it like a good g-girl” your words only made him harder and he pulled out his fingers. He touched your cunt with his cock and pushed inside your tight pussy, careless of the fact that it might hurt you.
“K-Kei-i... its too b-big”
“So? You said you were gonna take it, shut up” he spoke next to your ear, and you let out a shuddering breath, holding onto his back for dear life. You left marks in his back that would be completely visible tomorrow morning. “I shouldn’t give it to you if you’re just gonna complain about it”
He spread your legs even more, to reach deeper until he bottomed out. He wasn’t wasting any time, thrusting into your cute cunny like you didn’t have tomorrow.
“I-I... I can t-take it daddy, see how g-good I take it” he put one of your legs over his shoulder reaching deeper with his cock and hitting that spot that made your vision go blank. “I’m a good g-girl daddy... K-Kei, you feel so deep inside... I feel so good”
“If you were really a good girl you would take it all silently, but look at you, moaning so loudly, almost as if you want him to hear you” and he gives a particularly hard thrust that hits your sweet spot just right, leading to your moan slipping out. “I bet he heard that one, do you think he’ll hear this?” and he made a fist in his hand, threatening to knock on the wall next to him, the wall that divided the siblings room.
“N-no, please... I’ll shut u-up, I’ll b-be a good g-girl just please don’t s-stop...”
He went back to holding onto your waist with both his hands, and you grinded your hips to the same pace as he was fucking you.
“What a cute little cunny... too bad its all you’re good for, just a cumslut, but your my little cum slut, right?” you nod your head vigorously, you were so close to your orgasm, his dirty talk and his humiliating words only brought you closer to the edge. “Say it!”
“I’m your l-little cumslut!” you said with tears in your eyes, you shut your eyes close in the middle of your ecstasy, clenching down on him and holding onto his arms as you came all over his cock. The way your cute cunny pulled him inside for more made him go crazy, this cute little girl, to the eyes of anyone you were the innocent little (Y/n), quiet and shy. He’s proud that he’s the only one who can make you shake and squirm while you moan out his name.
He thrusts in a few more times before he shoots his white load into your cunt. He groans and throws his head back in pleasure. When you both come back down from your high he lays down next to you and runs his fingers through his hair with a smirk. He wraps his other arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him, not caring if Yamaguchi walked in right now and saw you like this, he just wanted to hold you close and wake up next to you.
Can you blame him? He’d been wanting to fuck your little cunny for so long and when he finally got to do it, well, he doesn’t want this moment to end.
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©️ kaijime | all content belongs to kaijime, do not modify or repost
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insanechayne · 10 months
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~ ~ ~
#you know now that I’m thinking about things more clearly I’ve got more questions than answers#the way you used to talk to me and the conversations we used to have were too elevated and practiced#I was into certain groups and things for years before I eventually got out of that stuff#so I know what it sounds like when someone’s been doing it for a while even if it’s been off and on#and I have to wonder then how many other girls did you do these things with?#how many girls did you say sweet nothings to and make them feel so special and desired just to eventually drop them like you dropped me?#how long exactly have you been doing this kind of shit?#it does kind of hurt to know just how special I’m not and start connecting these dots#it does sting to see that you seem to just be like every other man trying to get what you want without caring what happens to the women#you leave in your wake#and idk maybe that’s not fair of me and maybe you did care for them on some level just like you care for me on some level#I guess I just wish you’d been more honest with me from the very beginning#sometimes wish I’d never met you at all because look how you’ve ruined my life for so many months#now I just feel stuck and angry#you are a very good close friend so I don’t want to just cut you off completely#but at the same time I feel used and like you’ve lied to me this whole time and that’s fucked#so what am I supposed to do now? is it even worth bringing any of this up to you? or will you just lie to me some more?#personal
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fanfics4all · 3 years
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Requests are open! Here's some Prompts!
Angst Prompts
“This will be the last time you lie to me.”
“You know it’s not like that.”
“How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me?”
“You’re never going to be the same after this.”
“I just think it’d be best if we never met.”
“I can’t believe you would even think to leave me like this.”
“You never loved me, did you?”
“It didn’t have to be like this, but now you’ve ruined everything.”
“I hope you’re happy.”
“If you had have kept your mouth shut, then he’d still- he’d still be here!”
“What did you want once this was all through? Tell me!”
“Now I have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Thanks, it means a lot.”
“You could’ve- could’ve stayed. You could’ve helped me fix things.”
“I knew she’d never change, she was too stubborn, too similar to me.”
“This isn’t going to be fixed. You’ve ruined this for good now.”
“I hope I’m not put in the same part of hell as you.”
“When did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow?”
“You’re back in my life and I want to die again.”
“You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”
“I hope you got what you wanted.”
“You made me miserable and I still loved you.”
“When you die, I’ll be the first to dance on your grave.”
“Don’t underestimate me, I have more power than you can even comprehend.”
“If only you knew what you’d brought upon yourself.”
“We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”
“Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”
“Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”
“There is nothing worse than seeing you get what you want.”
“Your mind must be a horrible place.”
“You can cut me, bruise me and skin me alive, but you will not take her from me.”
“How is it that we always end up in this predicament?”
“I want to wipe that grin of your face with my sword, but my mother taught me to play nicely.”
“Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you.”
“Ah, well if you want them back alive, I suggest you lay down your own life.”
“Don’t be ‘smart’. The battlefield is no place for Math Scholars.”
“You shouldn’t have come. You can’t be-”
“Stop talking or tomorrow won’t come.”
“Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”
“I shouldn’t care for your life, but I’m starting to and it’s becoming an inconvenience.”
“If you live to see her, please send my best regards and this box of her father’s ashes.”
“It would’ve been nice to get to know you better, but I’m afraid I don’t care.”
“I can’t help but think you’re a terrible person.”
“Seeing your face has unconventionally made me want to die. I wasn’t quite prepared for this feeling.”
“You could have loved me, I’m quite good at seducing, but you’re actually vile.”
“I hope I see you in a bodybag sometime.”
“Let’s pretend you didn’t cheat on me with my sister and be good people for a few minutes.”
“We should probably stop talking forever.”
“If I hated you anymore, I think I’d probably be crowned as satan’s right-hand man.”
“To say I ‘tolerate you’ is a vast overstatement.”
“You broke her heart and came back for more, you bastard.”
“This isn’t fifth grade, this is a courtroom, you whore.”
“I think you’d be the perfect match for my ex-husband. He loved to sleep with multiple people.”
“I’m not coming home, don’t look for me.”
“Time was always a measurement of this relationship and we finally ran out.”
“Please don’t look at me with such hatred.”
“I could’ve died and you couldn’t have cared less.”
“Just get out. I- I don’t want you here, just leave.”
“You’re not the same person I married, don’t tell me I’m wrong.”
“I wish you wouldn’t beg for forgiveness, it has the opposite effect of what you want.”
“Don’t hate me for this. You would’ve done the same.”
“This could’ve been the end and you were ready to let me go.”
“You should’ve left me, you could never deserve the person I’ve become.”
“Hate me all you want. I know I’m right.”
“Today you broke my arm, I hope tomorrow it’s not my heart.”
“Nothing can justify this, you’ve ruined him.”
“You live with so much guilt, I hope it drives you mad one of these days.”
“My life was ruined because of one mistake. You were that mistake.”
“You are everything I hate, don’t ever come back.”
“Evil doesn’t come close.”
“Your wrongdoings are becoming your pastimes.”
“I wish you had of just done it for the thrill of it, but now you’re in deep shit.”
“Next time, I won’t be here to salvage your wreckage. This is the last time.”
“You should have ruined me when you had the chance.”
“No one will keep your name alive. Once you’re gone, everything you once stood for disappears too.”
“Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about your life without me.”
“This is always how it ends.”
“Break my heart once more, I dare you.”
“Forget how you loved me once, I mean nothing now.”
“This isn’t Romeo and Juliet, this is real life and I can go on without you.”
“You don’t own me, I don’t belong to you.”
“I should’ve died. That would’ve made you happy.”
“Are we going to carry on like this or are you going to give him back to me.”
“She drowned and he lost his mind.”
“We shouldn’t. You’re married and I’m pregnant.”
“You’ve never been loved, I can tell.”
“Who told you I needed fixing and what made you believe them?”
“You’re almost as far-gone as I am.”
“Maybe it’s best that we don’t go home.”
“Roaming the streets was never safe for her. What makes you think it’s different for you?”
“I think you’re going to ruin me. Am I right?”
“Do you remember our last feud? I wouldn’t want someone to lose their life again, would you?”
“Kiss me quick and leave them be.”
“I hate seeing you so sad. It’s just so dramatic how humans show emotions and being sad is such a boring one.”
“Will you ever forget my number? No? Ah, because you still love me.”
“After the funeral, let’s surrender.”
“What made you think I cared for you?”
“It’ll be fun explaining this to your sister. I hope she likes horror stories.”
“Don’t act as if we’re friends. I know how much you want to slit my throat.”
“Let’s not get angry. Let’s calmly and sensibly take this outside so I can ruin your face.”
“Please ruin yourself for me and I’ll watch in adoration as I fall apart as well.”
Fluff Prompts
“I missed being with you like this,”
“I’ve been excited to see you all day.”
“You’re my perfect match,”
“No one else can compare to your loveliness,”
“The way you smile like that always turns me on,”
“Can I at least shut the door before you decide to pounce on me the moment I come home,”
“I know you said you didn’t want to be late, but you look amazing, and I’m trying not to kiss you senseless right now,”
“I’ll keep you warm. Hold me closer.”
“Kiss me again, like you mean it.”
“Can I have a message?”
“Truth or Dare?” “Dare”
“Move away if you don’t want this kiss.”
“If you keep kissing my face like that I’ll have to retaliate.”
“Are you my secret admirer, the one that’s been sending me all the flowers and notes?”
“Does this kiss tickle~? Haha. Why are you laughing so much?”
“You’re supposed to be washing my hair, but this feels more like a massage.”
“Hold my hand tight. I’ll protect you.”
“When do you think help will come?” “Not for a while, I guess we’re stranded here alone for the time being.”
“Can you pretend to be my partner for my friend’s wedding? I told them I’d have a plus one.”
“I’m in love with you.” “Are you finally confessing to me? Because I feel the same way.”
“Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.”
"I want you back."
"You need to stop calling me that."
"You did not just boop me."
"You lost me in a crowd once!" "It's not my fault you're so short!"
"We should get a puppy."
“Hurry up! It has eight legs and therefore will crawl faster than normal!"
"Kiss me." "Not with that morning breath."
"So, will you marry me?"
"How'd you do that?" "Magic."
"It's my happy juice."
"You did not just mimic me."
"I'm on my period and I want chocolate. Now go."
"I left you for five minutes."
"Tell me why I deal with you again?"
"Kiss it better. Please.”
Smut Prompts
“Try to stay quiet for me. Can you do that?”
“Spread your legs. I want to feel how turned on I made you.”
“You can add another finger. I’m ready,”
“I want to watch you take off your clothes.”
“You’re so turned on already? That was fast,”
“Lay back and touch yourself. I want to watch.”
“You want to do this right now? Even though we could get caught?”
“You’re nipples are so sensitive today,”
“Do you want to continue this in the shower?”
“You look so beautiful tied up to my bed,”
“I want you to be rough with me, please leave marks on my skin,”
“Say my name,” “Louder,”
“You say you want me, but your body seems to like it when I tease you,”
“Call me ‘Sir’ when we’re alone like this,”
“No, I’m the one that’s supposed to be making you feel good,”
“Don’t stop, whatever you do. I like that, a lot.”
“I love hearing you moan,”
“Blindfolds heighten your senses, maybe that’s why you’re whimpering louder than usual.”
“I was wondering how long you two were going to make out like that before you realize you weren’t alone.”
“Sorry, did that hurt?” “No, I’m just a little sore from last night.”
“I want to hear you beg for it.”
“I’m not wearing any panties,”
“I want to kiss every inch of your body before I fuck you,”
“I don’t have the patience to remove your clothes right now,”
“Your pussy tastes so sweet,”
“I can’t wait until we’re alone. There are so many things I want to do to you right now.”
“Bite me,” “Where?”
“Were you just touching yourself?”
“What do you want for breakfast?” “Why are you asking me that at 10 o’clock at night-OH.”
“The game is, either of us is only allowed to touch the other with their mouth.”
“I love how your body loses control when you cum.”
“Fuck me like a starved animal or leave.”
“Spank me,”
“Show me how you like to be touched.”
“Harder, Deeper…”
“I want to fulfill that fantasy you’ve always wanted.”
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eartht137 · 3 years
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DEAREST HEART-LETTER TWO
Whooo, goodness!! I spooked myself after writing the first letter. There is a dog next door to my house and she likes to stare out towards the back "alley way" and one night while I was showering by candlelight (blinds still aren't fixed) she wouldn't stop staring out at the alley way. My azz was spooked lol. That being said, here is another "letter" from Mr. Kal El himself. Enjoy curvies MMMMMMwwwaahhhhhhh!!!!
Dark Clark Kent x Plus Size Reader
Warnings: Stalking (This chapter is pretty tame)
A few days later, the whole situation had hidden itself in your brain. You had so much going on in your waking life, you really didn't have time to dwell on a possible prank. Your birthday had arrived and you really weren't feeling too thrilled about it. Your depression just had to spike up and ruin the one day you thought you would enjoy, but you didn't even get to stress about it for long. You'd stepped into your office to boot up your computer for the day, and you saw it. On your desk was a letter, same vintage parchment, but his time it had an Aster instead of a Rose. You stared at it for so long, wondering if you should read it or not. You finally sat down and pulled the letter out of the envelope to see what he had to say.
Happy Birthday Little One,
I wish so badly that I could show you the best birthday you've ever had, but that will have to wait. I know you're not looking forward to today. I've noticed you haven't mentioned it much, and you almost forgot. How do you forget your birthday silly girl? I have purchased a gift every year since we met, I can't wait until I'm able to give them to you and you can unwrap each and everyone as if it were Christmas. Why haven't you planned anything? Not even a free day for yourself, what's going on? I wish you would talk to me. I want so badly to help you get better, but its a one day at a time deal. I was there you know, when you almost died? I was there the night you called your husband and told him the truth about how bad you felt. I swear it was the scariest night of my life when the surgeon walked in and told you they were putting you in an induced state for a week. All I could think was, what if you didn't wake up, or what if they did something wrong? What if they hurt you more or caused a bad reaction. I have seen a lot of things, but I have never been so sad and afraid to lose someone like you. I watched over you every night, making sure you'd come back to me and the baby. Well, you know what I mean. I know that's been rough on you, but you are making great progress. I remember you saying you'd like to change your hair, would you like for me to set up your appointment? I think you'd look delicious with cherry red hair, just don't cut it please. I love your hair. I love everything about you. I know you don't remember, but the moment our eyes met, I couldn't get you out of my head. I tried, I swear I tried so hard to stay away. I'd go for walks at night to clear my head and try not to think of you, and I'd find myself further and further away from home. It has to be fate that wants us together, because there you were, pulling in from work one night. I watched you sit there blaring your music, trying to finish the song before you went inside. I knew you right away, I had never been so....I can't describe how it felt, it was overwhelming. It had to be love that outweighed the hurt, even your "husband" walked out to greet you, it just couldn't overshadow what my heart felt. I told myself that I loved you enough to let you be happy, and I did for awhile. Not one day or night went by where you didn't cross my mind, so I decided to whisk by and take a picture of you, just for memory of the woman I couldn't have. One picture turned to two, two turned to ten. I had to get the perfect angle, but the only perfect angle is up close, in person; like I said I did try. I wish I could take you out for your birthday. I'd cook for us and we'd go down by the river, or I could take you somewhere 5 star. I know its really not your thing, but you deserve to be served like a queen. You are a queen to me. I dreamed about you, I dream about you all the time, but this one was different. It scared me so much, I woke in cold sweat. I can't bear to think about it now, but I know it was just a stupid dream. I will have to go out of the country for awhile, but I promise to still write as often as I can. I love you, so much.
With All My Heart and Soul,
Kal-El
"Babe!!! Babe, I need to tell you something." You said scared senseless. You rushed to your husband, showing him the letters and explained that you thought it was a sick prank. Your husband immediately called the police. He packed you all up and as much as he hated it, you all went to stay with your mom.
That night while you were up talking to your mom, she leaned back and asked you something insane.
"Is that really another man's baby?" she asked seriously.
"NO! I don't even know who this is, I swear I don't know a Kal-El. I've never met anyone like that in all my life." You whisper screamed at her as you struggled to hold back tears. She stared into your eyes for a moment before sighing heavily. Before you knew it she was crying and hugging your neck so tight you couldn't breathe.
"After all you've been through, this was the last thing you needed. I've always told you to be careful and watch your surroundings." She fussed.
"Ma I did, but I don't ever go anywhere. I stay in the house most of the time and I'm always with my family." You couldn't help but feel as if you were being attacked.
"You never know who is watching you." She argued back.
"Ma, look at me." You said standing back opening your arms to show your full body. "All these years I've worked hard to feel comfortable in my own skin. It took me a long time to feel fully comfortable around my own husband. All of these years you guys have trashed me for my weight, the times you all have told me that I get different treatment for my size, there was no way in this world I could've ever imagined that I would get stalked by-by this Kal-El fucker!" You yelled as tears flowed down your face, you could even feel your face strain in anger. "Now this is happening, and I should've been watching my surroundings. You drilled in my head for years that people looked past me for you and everyone else. You drilled in my head that people would only want me to use me, YOU DRILLED IN MY HEAD THAT I NEVER HAD THE LOOK TO MAKE IT OUT HERE, SO NOW HERE WE ARE WITH A MANIAC THAT SOMEHOW MANAGED TO FIND ME THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW OR HAVE ANY CLUE AS TO WHAT THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE AND I SHOULD'VE BEEN WATCHING MY SURROUNDINGS!?" Your head felt like it was on fire, then all at once stars appeared and you lost vision.
When you woke up you were laying on the floor with a jacket under your neck as your mom and family (that she had called) stood around trying to get you to come back to. You tried sitting up, but only felt dizzier. Your hands and feet felt numb and you were shaking as sweat poured off of your body. Your husband sat by you, fanning you and giving you water. When you began to feel better, he helped you up and over to the couch. He asked everyone to leave you alone and not upset you anymore.
"Baby what do you want to do? How can I make you feel safe?" Your husband asked.
You stared deep in his eyes and remembered why you loved him so much. He always went out of his way to make sure you were happy. You thought back to not so pleasant days when you both argued and said mean things and your realized then and there how much you took him for granted sometimes. Before you knew it the flood gates released and you sobbed.
"Can you just hold me please?" You asked in a small pitiful voice.
"I will always hold you and be there for you baby. I love you. We will get through this together, like we always do."
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Isn't It Lovely
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Summary: two girls in a town where if anyone knew of their feelings towards each other, they'd be locked away
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: sadness, angst, a love that feels illegal, a few swear words
A/N: so I was in my feels. You're welcome for this sad little bit
2 a.m.
“I can’t stop thinking about you.”
The words tumble from her mouth before she can even think to stop them. When she gets no reply she fears she’s messed up, ruined the night like she’s done so many times before. A hand touches her cheek, her head moving to face the girl laying beside her, and she’s met with a warm smile that calms all of her nerves.
“My mind constantly races with thoughts of you.”
It’s whispered so quietly, afraid the loudness of a confession like that could break their peaceful bubble right apart. There is a fire that burns in both their veins, fueled by words unspoken, words that feel illegal to even think. They can’t say what they really want to. In this small little corner of the world, the words I love you seem like a death sentence if anyone hears them coming from the two girls. So it stays between them and the three boys that are more their family than anyone else.
They’re laying on the roof of Victoria's trailer, it is dark and quiet, the stars being their only company. There’s a bottle of Damianos moonshine and a pack of cigarettes stolen from the corner shop being split between them. The closest thing they can get to a real date.
“One day, we’ll leave this place behind. I’ll take you to the ocean and we’ll get married, right then and there. And the best part is, no one can stop us.”
Victoria is always the optimistic one, always telling her of the things that seem impossible. “What about the boys? Lord knows they’d be lost without us.”
She sits up to face the girl, a goofy grin on her face, “Well, they’ll come with us of course! We’ll need someone to protect us from the scary sea monsters.”
She laughs, sitting up now too, and takes a swig of the bitter alcohol. She loves how Vic talks about the life they could have. It’s nice to dream, she thinks.
The wind picks up suddenly, a cold breeze floating through the space around them, and they’re reminded of the quickly changing seasons. Victoria shivers and she’s quick to wrap the girl beside her in one of the blankets. The summer had been short and autumn was quickly approaching, a reminder that this could be the last few hours they’d have together.
Victoria had gotten accepted to Julliard on a full scholarship, something she’d applied to on a whim with no real hopes of getting in. She’d be gone in the morning, off to live the dream she’d always wanted. While the other girl still had no idea of what she wanted from life, no connections anywhere, she’d most likely be stuck here working at the corner shop for the rest of her life.
Victoria huddled into the warmth of the blanket and took a long drag from one of the cigarettes. She could feel eyes on her, turning her head to look at the girl beside her, “What’re you staring at, pretty girl?”
The girl blushes, caught in the act of trying to commit her face to memory. “You. Trying to make sure I never forget what you look like.”
Victoria sighs, “I don’t have to leave, ya know. I could stay here, with you and the boys. We could be trailer park trash together.”
“No. You’re going to go off to New York and live the life you’ve been dreaming of, don’t worry about me.”
She takes another swig of the burning liquid, trying to drink away her sorrows. They’ve talked about it before, Vic staying here, but she’s always refused the offer. She knows it’d make her miserable and she can’t bear to be the reason why her love is sad.
“Then come with me. We could get a little apartment, you can find a job while I’m at school. We could be free.”
She’s got a line of tears pooling in her eyes, a flush covering her cheeks, and the alcohol is running rampid in her veins. She can’t help but hope, wanting nothing more than to have the one thing she knows she can’t.
“I can’t come with you Vic, you know that. I’ve got nothing going for me, I’d only keep you from doing what you want. I can’t do that to you, it’d break my heart.”
Another sigh leaves the girl. She dreams too much, she knows that, but is it so awful to want to be happy? “Do you love me?”
It’s a question that strikes her right in the heart. “You know I do.”
“No, I don’t. You’ve never said it, and you only act like you do when we’re alone. I’m the one who always says it, but I’ve never heard those words leave your lips.”
There’s a fire burning through her. She wishes she could blame it on the alcohol, but the question has been haunting her for weeks now, it was just a matter of time before they were brought to light.
“You know what it would mean if anyone heard us say it.”
Vic stands up abruptly, throwing the blanket from her body and pacing the length of the rooftop. “I don’t give a damn about anything but you! I love you, and I don’t care who knows it! They can burn me at the stake for all I care, I just want you.”
There are tears running down her cheeks now and she feels like her body is on fire. Her next words are barely above a whisper, but the girl hears them loud and clear, “I’ve only ever wanted you.”
She stands and walks over to Vic, reaching out to grab her, pulling her into her arms. She rubs circles into her back as she freely cries. Victoria gasps for air, feeling like she’s drowning. “Am I not enough for you? Am I not good enough?”
“No, no. That’s not it,” She takes a deep breath before pulling away to look into her eyes, “I love you. There’s no doubt about it.”
“Then what is it? Why does everything have to be a struggle with you? I feel like I’m trying to convince you of something I’m not even sure is worth fighting for anymore.”
She’s taken aback by the confession. “You don’t mean that Vic.”
“Maybe I do. Clearly you don’t know me that well if you don’t think I’d give up everything to be with you!”
She’s shouting and pacing again, and she knows someone could hear her, but she doesn’t care. She’d climb the tallest building and declare her love for the girl if it meant she could convince her. “Is it really so horrible to think that we could get away from all of this and be together?”
“You know we can’t.”
She stops her pacing, turning to stare at the other girl. “You’re the only one saying that. There is nothing keeping you here, nothing. But yet you keep saying you can’t leave. What is so important that it’s keeping you from being happy?”
Everything falls silent, and moments pass before she can bring herself to speak. She starts crying and it takes everything in her to speak her next words, “I’m pregnant.”
The words hang in the air like a knife over their heads. Victoria feels like all of the air has been sucked from her lungs. “How? Who?”
“At the graduation party Thomas threw. We’d been fighting, and I saw you hanging with another girl and I got jealous. I needed something to distract me so I got drunk and when he kissed me I didn’t even think of pushing him away. I don’t even remember his name, I don’t think he even told me. I regretted it the second it was over. We used a condom and I took plan b, but it clearly didn’t work. I found out last week, Dami drove me into the city. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”
It is silent for what feels like hours. The wind whips around them, a storm forming overhead. They stand facing each other, staring into the other's eyes.
It’s Victoria who breaks the silence, a laugh escaping her lips. It is loud and ugly, strained by the tears still falling from her eyes. It’s not the time to laugh, but she can’t help it. “I hate you. Not because you’re pregnant, because if you had just told me we could have gone through this together. But because you’re choosing to subject it to the same life we were so desperate to escape. You could leave with me and we could raise that kid in a life far better than either of us had, but you’re a coward.”
The words feel like venom on her tongue. She can see the hurt cross the girl's face, a feeling of guilt settling in her gut, but she can’t take the words back now.
“Maybe I am. But that is my choice to make.”
Victoria turns away, heading to the ladder, whispering words that hurt them both, “Then It is your choice to make alone.”
Sometimes the hardest thing in life is loving someone and letting them go.
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happyhearttree · 2 years
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PROMPTS MASTERLIST
Ahhh, I see you've found the magic chest! Why is it called the 'magic chest'? It's because I made it with the help of other people from pinterest and tumblr! Without their magic, I couldn't have done it. Anyways, I'll let you go through the chest! if anything piques your interest, you can drop it at the ask box after viewing the Reuest & Rules!
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Fluff prompts:
“You look really good in my clothes”
“This reminded me of you”
“Your hands are warm”
“I just want to relax in your arms”
“Let’s go home” “I’m already home”
“I could just stare at you forever” “Creep”
“You’re the most beautiful being on the earth”
“Hold me”
“I wish you could see the way I see you”
“This isn’t just a(n) [object], it’s a promise”
“Come back to bed”
“You’re the only person I want to spend my life with”
“My parents love you”
“… sorry, I talked too much” “No no no not at all. Keep talking”
“Oh my god you never told me you could cook”
“Our kids are gonna be *mwah*!”
“Come on. I’ll show you how to dance”
“I know you had a bad day, so I made you cookies”
“Let’s go and look at the stars”
“I’m gonna need someone to kiss at midnight”
“I can’t stop thinking about you”
“Get on my shoulders, you’ll see better”
“I never thought I could miss someone this much”
“You’re breathtaking”
“You’re my new pillow”
Hurt/Comfort prompts:
“Just close your eyes. I will still be here when you open them again.”
“Sure, you can use me as a pillow.”
“I’d come for you. No matter what, when you need me, I will be there.”
“Can you walk? I’d be happy to carry you.”
“This is not who you are. I know you better than that.”
“I know, it hurts. I’m so sorry, but we have to get this out.”
“You can hold my hand.”
“The nightmares are just an illusion. I’m really here.”
“Tell me to stay and I will be here for as long as you’ll have me.”
“It’s okay to be afraid sometimes.”
“Just keep breathing. In and out. You’re doing great.”
“You don’t have to be strong all the time.”
“It’s alright. I’m not going to let go.”
“Show me where it hurts.”
“If you don’t know where to go, you can always come here.”
“You can go to sleep now. I will keep watch.”
“Hey, listen to me. You’re safe. Nothing is going to hurt you.”
“I want you to know that it’s okay to cry.”
“Take all the time you need.”
“If you feel safer with me being there, you know I will always be there.”
“Just look at me. Forget everything else.”
“They won’t take you away from me ever again.”
“You need to keep your eyes open. Just a little longer.”
“Don’t let your fears dictate your life.”
“I’m going to ask you how you are and I would like you to answer me honestly.”
Angst prompts:
“This will be the last time you lie to me.”
“You know it’s not like that.”
“How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me?”
“You’re never going to be the same after this.”
“I just think it’d be best if we never met.”
“I can’t believe you would even think to leave me like this.”
“You never loved me, did you?”
“It didn’t have to be like this, but now you’ve ruined everything.”
“I hope you’re happy.”
“If you had have kept your mouth shut, then he’d still- he’d still be here!”
“What did you want once this was all through? Tell me!”
“Now I have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Thanks, it means a lot.”
“You could’ve- could’ve stayed. You could’ve helped me fix things.”
“I knew she’d never change, she was too stubborn, too similar to me.”
“This isn’t going to be fixed. You’ve ruined this for good now.”
“I hope I’m not put in the same part of hell as you.”
“When did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow?”
“You’re back in my life and I want to die again.”
“You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”
“I hope you got what you wanted.”
“You made me miserable and I still loved you.”
“When you die, I’ll be the first to dance on your grave.”
“Don’t underestimate me, I have more power than you can even comprehend.”
“If only you knew what you’d brought upon yourself.”
“We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”
Argument/angry prompts:
“Don’t touch me, you lost that privilege when you let him into our bed.”
“You just keep acting like everything’s fine! It’s not fine!”
“I hate you, I hate everything you stand for, every fibre of your being.”
“I don’t have the energy to yell at you, you’re not worth it anyway.”
“Show up here again and you won’t live to see the end of it.”
“You killed her! She was the only person I ever loved and you killed her!”
“There’s not a single reason I can think of for me to let you see her. You may be her father, but I’m her everything.”
“You broke me! You ruined everything we had and- for what?”
“I know you hate me, but you should hear yourself. You sound just like him, you sound just like your father.”
“Nothing you do will fix things, no amount of money will turn back time.”
“I wish you’d just leave me alone, I wish I’d never met you.”
“You really were the worst thing to ever happen to me. I mean that.”
“I wouldn’t hate myself as much as I do now if it weren’t for you.”
“Thank you for ruining my life, I know exactly the kind of person I don’t want to become now.”
“Don’t look at me like you’re sorry. You’re not sorry.”
“You’ll never love me like you loved her. I know that now.”
“Not now, not ever. You’ll never be the person I love.”
“I can’t believe I was ever stupid enough to think I knew you.”
“Yell at me, scream until your throat hurts, put a damn bullet in my chest, but you will not touch him.”
“I would rather die than be the person who climbs into bed with you at the end of the night.”
“You lied! You lied again and I fell for it!”
“Everytime you open your mouth I want to push you over the edge of a cliff and I mean that with all my heart.”
“Don’t pretend there’s more than years of pure hatred here.”
“We were never in love, we were simply caught up in a nightmare that felt like a dream.”
“You’ll never forgive me, I know that, but please just pretend you love me. Just until the kids are old enough.”
Nsfw prompts (only for hcs):
“I dreamed of your legs wrapped around my waist.”
“Don’t act innocent when we both know where your mouth was two minutes ago.”
“We should probably leave, before we start a scandal.”
“Stop looking at me like that or my knees will not hold me any longer.”
“I think you lost your underwear somewhere.”
“My tongue still remembers the way you taste.”
“Is there some space left in that bathtub?”
“The way your eyes get darker when you get aroused, is making me lose my mind.”
“I want to count every one of your freckles with my lips.”
“Jealousy seems to be a great motivator for you.”
“Oh no, there is only one bed, what will we do now?”
“I could make you feel better.”
“Get back down here, we’re not done yet.”
“Later you will definitely need to tell me where you learned this.”
“I know I should care about the reason why you’re naked in my bed, but I will just enjoy it for a moment.”
“You’re a lot more flexible than I thought.”
“I want to please you.”
“Tell me what you would want to do, if you were here right now.”
“Your shirt got a little dirty, how about we take it off?”
“I want to give you a hickey, so everyone can see how I feel about you.”
“Oh, I love that sound you make.”
“Do you want to take it off or should I do it for you?”
“I never imagined you to be so sensitive, but I love it.”
“Maybe you could use that mouth for more than just talking nonsense.”
“Your moans will wake everyone up and I’m oddly fine with that.”
Siblings prompts:
“I will go first. I’m the older one!” “You don’t have to tell me, everyone can see that.”
“Oh, you really messed up. Can I be there when you tell mom and dad?”
“That’s not what you wrote in your diary…”
“And this is why mom loves me more.”
“Oh, you think you’re so funny, aren’t you?”
“Mom! They don’t want to give me the remote!” “You’re both in your twenties, learn to handle it yourself!”
"Is that my shirt?"
"Did you seriously just shoot me in the head with a nerf bullet?"
"What are you looking at?"
"Quit eating my fucking food."
"Did I or did I not just say I'd knock you out if you didn't leave me alone?"
"You're adopted."
"You're so old and boring."
"You're gonna be in deep shit when Mama finds out."
"That's not what your diary said."
"(Insert name), is that a hickey on your neck?"
You're just jealous that I can drink and you can't."
"It's not my fault I look better in your clothes than you do."
"We need to get this mess cleared before Mom comes home."
"Why are you such a raging bitch all the time?"
"I...love you. Ugh, that's disgusting, now get out."
"Who the fuck hurt you?"
"What's their name? Are they in your year? I just wanna talk, nothing serious."
"I won't tell if you don't."
"Look, just because you think you're not allowed to cry, doesn't mean you have to be alone when you do."
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tastyykpop · 3 years
Note
Can you make a smut + angst jealousy fic for Ten or Jeno please~ thankiee
I hope this was okay. I made it a best friend au if u don't mind🙈
ɴᴀᴛᴜʀᴀʟ ᴅɪsᴀsᴛᴇʀs
Pairings: bestfriend!ten x reader
Genre: smut, angst
Warnings: jealousy, slight d/s themes, slight choking, marking, possessiveness, unprotected sex, creampie, rough ish sex
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"What are you doing here?" Ten asks walking into the living room where you sat watching tv. "Thought you had a date with that guy?"
"I did, but he called it off again." You mumbled.
"Again? Isn't this like the hundreth time? What a joke." He plops down on the couch next to you.
You side eye him, ready to question the attitude but chose to close your mouth instead.
Shrugging with a sigh, you bite your lip, "Its nothing. Hes probably busy." You knew that wasn't the case. The two of you were all over the place, it was either you guys flirted and went on dates like couples or he ditched you to do something with his friends and side chicks.
You were basically his fling that somehow dragged on for months. And ten couldnt stand it. Seeing you get beaten down and crushed like an egg made his heart sink. But to be honest, it wasn't like he minded the extra attention. Once you and that guy started talking, you were dragged out of his life and hardly talked to him unless it were times like this or when you bragged about the dude, and if he was lucky, a sleepover that came once in a blue moon. Ten probably shouldn't have felt this way, but he couldn't help his jealousy. He wanted what the guy had. He wanted you.
"Give the bastard up already." Ten says, "All he does is break your heart like its his favorite hobby. Then he has the fucking audacity to get back with you like nothing happened. Open your eyes, y/n, he's not good for you."
You grimaced, looking up at his uncharacteristically fuming face, "You don't know him like I do. He's good to me."
"Oh cut the shit. Stop being so naive."
Glowering at the man, you shake your head, "Im not naive and its not my fault you don't like him."
Ten sighed, "Jeez you can be a bitch sometimes."
"Excuse me!?" Your brows furrow, "Ten, stop acting like a dick. Why can't you support me and my decisions? You always find something to complain about with your overprotective ass."
"He treats you like shit, thats literally all he does and I have to sit here and deal with it." Ten growls.
"Then leave i don't fucking care."
Ten snorts, "Youre kidding. You're gonna push me out of your life just because I'm calling someone out. Well I got a newsflash for you babe, thats not how life works."
"As if youre any better." You mumble, thinking ten couldnt hear you. But you were very wrong.
"I dont have to do a thing to be better than that motherfucker." Ten glares before leaning closer to your face, "I could treat you better than he ever did. Like a fucking goddess, but no, you chose him."
"Youre so fucking annoying, ten." Your eyes met your best friends. This was probably the biggest mistake you've made. So many years you never bothered to say anything about your small crush on ten, afraid it may ruin the friendship between you two. But knowing its mutual, you could practically hear your heart crack. Those wasted months could've been months spent with ten, but they weren't.
Ten stared back into your hurt eyes with no expression except frustration, "Good i can keep going. I could write a whole essay on this loser."
"Ten, shut the fuck up! I'm tired of your fucking voice!"
Immediately ten stops talking. Though hes still frowning like an angered child who didn't get their way.
"God, you can be so frustrating at times." You say.
"Frustrating?? Whats frustrating is you being him and not with me." Ten says, breaking his short silence as his face was still inches away from yours.
Your back is just about touching the arm of the couch, tens breath fanning your face softly making your face heat up ever so slightly.
"Seeing him kiss you, hold you-makes my blood boil more than you think." Finally your body was pinned to the couch, ten just barely hovering over your lips, "Im going to make sure he knows who you belong to after tonight."
You yelped as you best friend clashed his lips into yours, much rougher and desperate than you thought he'd be. His hand snaked up your thigh, grabbing and kneading at the skin before he moved it to your hip, loving the small sighs against his lips.
"Youre so desperate," ten mumbles. He swipes his tongue just over your lips as you find yourself chasing his lips, staring at the string of saliva attached. "I finally get to have my desperate little baby." Your pants were off in a matter of seconds along with your panties. Tens fingers already taking in your soaked cunt as he lifted his two fingers up in front of your face, smirking down at you. "Already dripping too. Can't believe you thought about going out with him when you have me."
"Never knew you could be so jealous." You tore your gaze off his arousal coated fingers. "But I'd wish your shut up about it."
Ten sucks his fingers clean before leaning down to bite your neck, earning a gasp as you tilt your head to the side for him. "Dont push it."
"Can't help it." Sighing at the feeling of his teeth sinking in and the small hickeys he's giving you, you reach up to tangle your fingers through his hair, "Youre mad and jealous just because of some guy."
"Not just some guy, babe. A fucking douche." He lapped over the bruises he created on your neck. The purple and blue color was a work of his own art and he wasn't afraid to show it off to anyone and everyone.
"He was nice."
He arched a brow, "Dont lie."
Soon enough, both of your clothings were discarded. Nothing could turn back whatever was going to happen now, and surely not ten who had his hand wrapped firmly around your neck, squeezing the sides tightly but still enough for you to breathe. And as crazy as it may seem, he loved seeing you gasp and wrap your small hands around his wrists.
You moaned at the sudden fullness at your core, the stretch making your back arched a bit off the couch as you pushed your hips into his. A hand carefully placing itself on your hips, but not bothering to push it down or keep it in place.
Ten wasn't going to waste time, he was already thrusting into you at a reasonable set pace where you both moaned, you being louder than he thought.
"You like it?" Ten chuckles to himself, "Of course you do because I know how to fuck you good." He sent a particularly hard thrust just to hear you scream in pleasure. Your nails clawing at his back causing ten to hiss, throwing his head back.
"Youre the worst." You call out, digging your nails further into his back, sure there will be cuts the next day.
He choked you harder, eyes rolling back from the adrenaline rush, "But you love this cock so much, love how I call you mine and not his. Fuck, I should just fill you up over and over again with my cum." You moan at his words, ignoring that stupid grin on his face, "Want me to fill your pretty pussy up, kitten?" Nodding frantically, you gripped his wrist with both of your hands, feeling your orgasm coming closer with each thrust.
"Feels s-so good." The couch screeched against the wood floor as ten pounded into you with no mercy. Each vein of his cock made your walls tighten around him as you got near. " 'm gonna cum."
As if he couldn't move faster, ten surprised you when your body banged against the armrest, desperate for you to cum around him. "Cum, baby. I wanna feel your cum."
You didn't need to be told twice. Everything came rushing out of you an instant, body shaking as ten continued with stuttering thrusts before he finally released inside you, mixing your cum together as he slowly fucked it back inside you, finally pulling out.
"Stay away from him for God's sake." he placed a chaste kiss to your lips. "Or dont, I wouldn't mind him seeing the mess I made."
366 notes · View notes
worksby-d · 4 years
Text
A Great Mentor: They’ll Come Around
A One Shot
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Summary: Being with Andy for the better part of a year now, you decide it’s time to tell your parents. 
Pairing: Andy Barber x Reader
Warnings: Age gap relationship, upset parents
Word count: ~1700
a/n: You can find the rest of this series by checking out my masterlist :)
Dividers by @royallyprincesslilly​ 💖
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Just barely opening his eyes, Andy has to squint, eyes too sensitive from sleep for the glow of your phone in the dark room.
“Y/N?” he asks quietly, reaching to put his arm around your waist so he can pull himself closer to you. “What are you still awake for?”
Putting your phone face down on the bed, complete darkness taking its place, you sigh. “Am I a bad daughter?”
“Hey…” You feel him shake his head before pressing a soft kiss to your neck. “What’s going on?”
“I feel guilty, Andy,” you explain. “I told my parents I wasn’t coming home until tomorrow… but I’m here now… with you. God, they literally live like five minutes away from here.” He stays silent, letting you talk about it.
It’s your spring break, but you wanted to see Andy before spending the week with your parents, so you told them you wouldn’t be home until Saturday, saying you wanted to spend your Friday night with some school friends before being gone a week.
“I don’t want to have to lie to them anymore. I want to spend time with you without lying about it, or worrying if they’re going to find out,” you go on. “I think I just have to finally tell them tomorrow.”
“It’s up to you, angel.”
Half of you hoped he’d talk you out of it. Damn him for being so supportive. You roll over to face him, tucking your head under his chin, listening to his heart beat for a moment.
“They’re gonna kill me,” you chuckle nervously.
His chest rumbles as he laughs at you. “They're not gonna kill you,” he assures. “They’re gonna kill me.”
“Oh good,” you exhale, feigning relief. “That makes me feel so much better.”
“Relax,” he urges, continuing to laugh. “They’re not gonna kill anybody, sweetheart,” he tries to assure you, gently rubbing your back. “By the way, I think sleep will make you feel better.”
You roll your eyes, but you know he’s right. There’s no use in worrying about it right now, so you let out one more deep sigh and let his comforting touch lull you to sleep.
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In the morning, you wake up to the bed empty. Feeling the space where Andy should be, it’s cold, so you figure he’s been up for a while.
Before you have the chance to check the time, he walks in carrying a plate and a glass of water.
“Well if it isn’t Miss Sleeping Beauty herself,” he teases, putting the food on the table next to the bed. He’s giving you a quick kiss before you can retort. “Good morning,” he greets you more seriously, sitting next to you, leaning to peck your lips one more time. “Or afternoon, I guess.”
Sure enough, the clock tells you it’s 11:34 a.m. when you finally look at it. You just groan, rubbing your hands over your eyes. “Sorry.”
“Hey, you’re on break, you’re allowed to sleep in,” he chuckles. “I brought you some sustenance, though. I’ve seen what you call ‘breakfast’ when you’re at school, and I don’t know how you survive, so thought I’d make something good for you.”
“Excuse you,” you scoff. “I cook fine breakfasts.”
“I wouldn’t consider a bowl of cereal with a cup of sugar on top a cooked breakfast.”
“Ass,” you chuckle. “Well, thanks. I appreciate it.”
He sits in bed with you while you eat, getting some residual work stuff done since he quit early yesterday to be with you all evening.
“So what time do you have to be to your parents’ place?” he inquires, breaking the calm silence.
“Um, just sometime before dinner, I suppose,” you shrug.
He looks up from his laptop and over to you, giving you a sympathetic look. He can sense your nerves, the same ones that were keeping you up last night. “It’s gonna be fine,” he smiles, putting his hand on your knee. 
You flash him a weak smile back. “Yeah,” you nod, honestly trying to convince yourself more than him. “Yeah, of course.”
You lounge around with Andy for a few hours before deciding it’s now or never. He gently grabs your hand before you head out the door, pulling you against him tightly for a hug. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
You nod against his chest, savoring the feeling of his embrace. “Thanks,” you mumble and lift your head to kiss him. “I love you.”
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You spend dinner with your parents internally debating when you should break the news, but you almost choke when Andy’s name is brought up, your dad saying something about him not talking to them as often as he used to.
Trying to seem indifferent, you just comment, “Huh, weird.” It works though, your parents promptly moving onto other things you’ve missed since you were home last.
Later, you're curled up on the couch, knees to your chest, sipping on a cup of coffee while your parents sit in their respective recliners on the other side of the room, reading the newspaper and scrolling through Facebook.
“So, I want to tell you guys something,” you speak up. Apparently you’re doing it now.
They both look up at you with raised eyebrows. “What did you do now, Y/N?” your mom teases.
“No, it’s nothing bad,” you laugh. “At least, I don't think.”
“I’m kidding sweetie, what is it?”
“Well,” you start, trying your hardest to suppress your smile, reminding yourself you have no idea how they're going to react. “I’m seeing someone.”
You've never been in a serious enough relationship to announce it to them before, so their interest is piqued instantly.
“About time,” your dad teases, and you roll your eyes.
“Someone you met at school?” your mom asks.
Getting closer to the part you're dreading, you stammer a bit. “Uh no, actually we’ve kind of been hanging out since last summer.”
They give each other a look, and you’re confused. 
“We figured you were maybe seeing someone,” your mom explains. “You've seemed really happy the last couple months.”
You smile at that, but it doesn't last long when your dad chimes in. “We also figured there was no way you were actually spending that much time with Andy Barber last summer. Kind of thought it may have been a cover up,” he chuckles.
“That… wasn't a cover up,” you shake your head. “I was spending all that time with Andy Barber,” you pause, trying to gauge their thoughts, but they're just looking at you. “Because I’m talking about Andy.”
“You’re…” your mom tries to understand. “What?”
“I’m dating Andy,” you admit slowly, and watch your dad’s eyes widen.
“No you’re not,” he shakes his head. “No-”
“Dad,” you plead quietly, shaking your head.
“He’s my age, Y/N. What the hell are you talking about?”
You flinch as he raises his voice, and look toward your mom, but she's avoiding your gaze.
“What is- Is he your sugar daddy or something?” he continues his interrogation attempt. “Are you guys just screwing around? Dear God, he’s using my daughter for sex-”
“What? No,” you scoff. “What the hell? You guys told me yourselves you’ve noticed how happy I am. I love him.”
“You-” He stands up from his chair, not able to finish his sentence without pacing a few times. “You love him? You’re shitting me. I’m gonna kill that bastard.”
“Dad, stop,” you beg, teary eyed this time. “He's so good to me. He’s supportive. He tells me I’m beautiful-”
“Of course he does!” he cuts you off. “You're half his age!”
“Let me finish!” you yell back at him, even surprising yourself. You let out a deep breath attempting to calm yourself. “He's been there for me when no one else could be…”
“Have we not been there for you, honey?” Your mom finally joins back in. “What is it that we weren't there for?”
Of course you're talking about the pregnancy, but you know you can't tell them about that yet, or ever the way this is going. “I just mean law school stuff… He’s stayed up so many nights, talking to me on the phone, assuring me it's all gonna be okay. He just understands what I’m going through.”
A silence fills the room, neither of your parents knowing what to say next.
“I can't believe this,” your dad utters quietly. “No daughter of mine is ruining her life by being in a relationship with a man old enough to be her father.”
“Dad, wait-” Despite your plea, he's walking out of the room. “I'm not ruining my life,” you affirm, only to your mom now. “I���m sorry,” you whisper. “I can't stay here. Let me know when dad wants to talk to me again.”
As you gather your stuff, you ignore your mom’s apologies, not wanting her to be the one doing damage control for your dad. You tell her again to let you know when he wants to talk to you himself, and then you leave.
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Andy’s expecting you when he hears his front door open. You texted him to let him know you need to stay with him.
“That bad?” he asks carefully when you walk straight to the kitchen and pour yourself a glass of wine.
Leaning against the counter, you close your eyes and sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I wish they would trust me…” You finally look up at him. “My dad’s pissed. Said he's gonna kill you, by the way.”
Andy tips his head back laughing. “I expected as much. I’m sorry, baby.”
“I mean shit,” you continue. “I’m 23. I’m capable of making my own decisions. They’re the ones that raised me to think for myself and be confident with my choices… And now, my dad’s not talking to me because of who I decided to fall in love with.”
“Sweetheart, they love you. They just care about you and want to protect you,” he tries to justify, but you roll your eyes. “I would probably react the same way if my daughter told me she was with someone older.”
“Oh, come on, Andy,” you snap. “Whose side are you on?”
You push yourself off the counter to walk away, but he grabs your wrist. “Hey, hey, stop.” He wraps his arms around you, and some of the tension finally leaves your body as his hands stroke your back. “They'll come around.”
525 notes · View notes
pigeonp0st · 4 years
Note
Oh you could write one where reader and Supergirl are fighting together against some supervillain and reader gets hurt and almost dies and Kara is freaking out because she can't lose her girlfriend and just... angst (please don't kill reader though, i'm begging you)
Kara Danvers x Reader #5
Words: 1,905
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Warnings: Angst, Explosion not described in detail. Just an aftermath.
Notes:
MWHAHAHA! I technically didn’t listen to your plead...so i’m sorry? (Thank you for the request and sorry for all spelling mistakes)
——
They were kids.
You weren’t bulletproof like Kara, definitely not grenade proof, you knew that...but they were kids. Kids clutching onto their mom looking terrified. Terrified that their mom would get hurt, terrified that the three of them were going to die.
You’re terrified too. Lately as your life has gotten better with Kara, beautiful, caring Kara, you’ve been getting more scared everyday, scared that something was going to happen to ruin your happiness.
The fear is almost enough to paralyze you when you see the latest National City supervillain get ready to throw the grenade, but alas...when the man throws the grenade the stupid instinct to protect overtakes you and you jump into the air to catch it like a ball, before it can get to close to the family.
You’re more invincible than them, even if you’re not nearly as invincible as Kara...it’s time to test that theory, you think bitterly.
Turns out—when the grenade goes off and a piercing scream hits the air—you’re not that much more invincible than a regular human.
Kara, you think, tears running down your face, Kara, Kara, Kara. Kara. Everything hurts but all you can think about is Kara and whether or not she’s going to be okay fighting without you. Forever, possibly. Fighting without you forever, and just thinking about your death feels like ice water being poured over you until the cold sinks in and it’s just panic.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
It takes moments before she’s by your side, moments that feel like a lifetime, she was slowed by the kryptonite she was fighting against and wasn’t able to get to you in time when the grenade went off but now she’s here, and she’s sobbing. Sobs that wrack her body, and you’re trying to sit up despite the ringing in your ear.
“Kara!” You yell, eyes wide, and you don’t want to be doing this to her, you want to pretend like you’re okay with this—you want to be strong for her—but you can’t. You can’t, because holy fuck. Fuck. “I can’t feel my legs, Kara. Baby, I can’t feel anything. I can’t...why can’t I move?”
Kara places a hand on your chest, and you can feel that, it hurts, “Alex,” she says into the comms, “it’s Y/N...she’s badly injured. I can’t bring her to the DEO, I can’t fly; the kryptonite is still in the air around us, and I can’t move her away from it either.”
You hear Kara’s panicked voice next to you, and when you focus you hear it in your own comms.
Alex’s voice crackles through immediately, and even she sounds scared, “how bad, Kara?”
“She says she can’t feel her legs, and she...she’s losing a lot of blood. She’s cold, too, and her breathing is labored,” Kara’s practically ranting now, her fingers shaking against your chest. “I’d put pressure on the wound but there’s a lot of blood and I don’t know—”
You turn your face away from Kara when her hand travels to your cheek, and you try to tune her out, because her face...it really says everything about your condition, and you don’t want to hear Kara talk about all of the ways you’re dying.
You catch the last thing Alex says and it fills you with dread that makes your bones feel even heavier, “keep her awake, Kara. There’s no telling if she’ll wake up again if she falls asleep now.”
Kara’s resulting sob rips your heart to shreds.
“I didn’t realize until I met you how much I don’t want to die,” you tell her after a moment filled with her cries. You’ve never felt so scared in your life (besides after Kara’s fight with Reign) “but I really don’t want to, Kara. I really don’t want to.”
“You won’t,” Kara says, trying to give you a reassuring smile, “you won’t because I need you to stay. What am I supposed to do without you?” She tries to laugh afterwards but it’s really just a choked sound, and you can hear the fear in her words.
The iron taste that was on your tongue felt like death, but now as you slowly start to taste it less, and as the smell of gasoline slowly slips away, you wonder if this is really a sign of death. The reapers signature.
“You’ll live.” You say, “you have to. There’s no other choice.” Your voice is filled with too much certainty for a dying woman, “It’ll be fine. You’ll get to eat the last popsicle in the fridge,” a humorless chuckle forces its way out of your throat, “I hid it. It’s under the frozen peas.”
You can tell by the look on Kara’s face what she’s thinking about. A half empty bed when she goes home alone to your shared apartment, your favorite mug sitting on the counter half full of cold coffee, your dishes still in her sink—your sink—your clothes in the washing machine, your…
“I can’t,” Kara whispers, her voice filled with the amount of sorrow only she can manage, “I can’t lose two of my worlds. I’m not strong enough.”
Kara Zor-El not being strong enough. It’s a humorous thought. You know Kara will fight, she’ll fight because it’s all she knows. She’ll find her reason. She won’t give up on the world, even if she gives up on herself for some time. It’s the one thing you need to be sure of right now.
“Yeah you are,” you mumble, trying to lift your shaky hand to cup her cheek. She grabs a hold of your hand and helps you to your destination. You try not to scream curses at the world at the sight of your blood on her pale cheek. “You, Kara Danvers, are an anomaly in the way you never let anything knock you down.”
“This is enough,” Kara promises, and it’s the last promise you’d ever want to hear from her, “you’re enough to ruin me.”
“Kara,” you whisper, hating the world so furiously in that moment for all it wants to take. “That’s the last thing I want to hear...I only ever want to build you up.”
“And you do,” Kara says, “but love really does both, doesn’t it? Sometimes it hurts as much as it heals.”
“That isn’t fair,” you whimper out, and Kara nods against your hand, closing her eyes and trying not to breathe in the smell of your blood.
Moments later Kara opens her eyes in a panic after realizing that you haven’t spoken, only to see you trying to blink your eyes awake. She squeezes your hand repeatedly, trying to get your attention. “Y/N, it’s not time.” She tells you desperately, “it’s not time.”
One of her tears fall against your cheek, causing you to pout. “Stop crying,” you slur, delirious from the blood loss, “I resent it when you cry because of me.”
Kara shakes her head, only crying harder.
You smile up at her sadly, “I'm sorry i’m dying.” And you mean it.
“Stop saying that,” Kara pleads, like it’s breaking her, “stop.”
You wish you could give Kara what she wants but your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier and you don’t think you have much time. “Just tell Alex to name a kid after me, or at least tell her to name a fish after me.”
Kara’s shaking her head and shaking your arm, trying to get you to open your eyes again, “Y/N! Hey! Stop, come on, baby, just open your eyes…”
You try, you really do, you’ve never tried so hard to listen before, and it works for a moment, just for a second you manage to open your eyes, much to Kara’s relief, and that’s when you finally notice a crowd of people and a slumped alien (the man you two were fighting) a little ways behind you and Kara. When did Kara do that to him? When did the people come?
It’s when you see Alex though, rushing out of a black van, that you feel some sort of relief. Alex will protect Kara when you’re gone. You’re sure of it.
“Wake up! Wake up,” Kara sobs, “Alex, Alex—please, she’s not—”
“She died, Kara, in the van, we managed to bring her back...but things are looking uncertain right now. For now, the best thing you can do is look after yourself”
Kara’s glowing red eyes snap up from the floor towards Alex. Her powers have been going haywire since they arrived at the DEO. “Save her,” Kara pleads, voice hoarse from crying. “Please.”
It’s late at night after Kara hears your heart stop (the second time) that she gets placed in kryptonite handcuffs.
Alex doesn’t want to do it but Kara isn’t in control of her powers anymore, and she almost seriously hurt someone. Multiple times.
Kara doesn’t leave your side after they get your heart going again, she can’t hear your heart with the kryptonite on so the only thing she can take comfort in is the beeping of your heart monitor.
You wake up two weeks after your accident.
Kara’s asleep next to you when you do.
You’re confused and thirsty so it takes you several long moments for you to remember what happened, and once you do you’re sobbing hard, crying loud enough to startle awake a sleeping Kara.
She freezes when she sees you, you’re curled up in the hospital bed and shaking with your relief and the leftover fear, and she’s watching you like she doesn’t know what to do now that you’re awake.
She’s been praying for this moment, imagining it, waiting for it day after day, minute after minute, second after second, but now that it’s actually happened she’s paralyzed with her overwhelming emotions.
“Y/N?” Kara stutters, eyes filling with her own tears of relief.
You laugh at Kara’s face, loud and completely joyful, and suddenly she’s sobbing too, grinning all the while, because you’re here—finally— you’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay, and you’re laughing, and the world is finally okay again too.
“Damn, weren’t we dramatic?” You smirk, paying no mind to the tears running down your or her face.
Kara laughs, pulling you into a careful hug (she got her handcuffs taken off only a day ago). “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” you whisper back, tightening your hold on Kara as much as you can and simply breathing her in. Breathing life in.
“I feel like i’m dreaming,” Kara says after a while, voice trembling. You feel like you're dead...and like you're in heaven. Is this heaven?
“You aren’t,” you reassure Kara anyways.
She nods against your shoulder, shaking even harder than you were. “Are you okay?” You ask worriedly.
“you’re the one who had to go and die two times.”
“Nearly three times,” Alex says from the doorway.
You notice Kara tense and shift in front of you until she realizes it’s just Alex, and you think that’ll probably be something you two will have to talk about, but for now you roll your eyes at Alex and say, much to both Kara’s and her amusement; “the only reason you tried so hard to save me is because you didn’t want to name your kid after me, isn’t it?”
Alex’s shrug and “maybe” gets a glare from Kara and a smirk from you.
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