#sometimes your soulmate is your business partner who is also your best friend who is also your boyfriend who is also your wife

[petrovna-zamo]

[vladdyissues]

Soulmate AU Danny Phantom, and Vlad and Danny found out that they are soulmate for each other from the very-very first meeting, like they don't even know the character of another, all they got is sh*** of a big age gap, and as for Vlad also: you've been having a crush on your soulmate's mom for 20 years. Idk, it may be skin's glowing where soulmates are touching each other? How much in shock do halfas be? Which parent accept it first?

They were called soul sigils. Temporary signs that appeared on the skin of people whose lives were destined to entwine.

Sigils presented twice, sometimes three times, during a person’s life: at birth, indicating that their partner was already alive and waiting for them; at the first meeting; and at the final separation.

Vlad Masters was not born with a sigil. His left hand went unmarked through his childhood. He lied to his peers in high school, saying he’d already gotten his a long time ago. 

By the time he enrolled in his first semester at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, he was beginning to worry. How much of his life was going to pass before his special someone was born?

At twenty-four, on the verge of completing his Master’s degree, he began to believe that perhaps he was destined to be alone. It wasn’t unheard of. Nearly twenty percent of the population never presented soul sigils. They were free to live however they pleased. It wouldn’t have been a bad fate, but Vlad yearned for partnership. His parents were dead, his family estranged. And Madeline, the girl he’d hoped would be The One, had her sigil appear when she met his best friend, Jack.

Vlad slept in the lab that night. He couldn’t bear to go back to his dorm room and listen to Jack’s lovesick exultations. 

Then the portal accident happened, and he stopped caring about sigils and love for the next few years. He was too busy recovering from the effects of radiation poisoning to concern himself with the silly banalities taking place outside his hospital ward.

Maybe he would die alone. That was always a possibility.

He didn’t. He was discharged in 1983 and walked out the hospital doors a new man.

Half of one, anyway.

By the late 1980s he was learning how to use his newfound powers, robbing his way toward a life of affluence. He began construction on his own portal, using the blueprints stolen from Jack—who, he discovered, had married Maddie while he was rotting in a hospital bed and had moved to a podunk town called Amity Park. They were expecting their first child, a girl. 

Vlad threw himself into his work and ignored the Fentons and their happy, growing family. His loneliness gnawed at him. 

Late one evening, just a few months before his thirty-first birthday, he pulled his work glove off his itching hand and blinked, staring.

His sigil. But he felt no joy. How could he? His soulmate was young enough to be his child. 

Within twenty-four hours the mark had faded, and Vlad pretended he’d never seen it. He had no interest in getting involved with someone so young.

Fourteen years later, the Fenton family climbed the front steps of Vlad’s home with their teenage son, Danny, who was absently scratching his hand.

Vlad felt the tingling. He didn’t have to look. The evidence was staring back at him: a pair of stunned blue eyes that flashed ecto-green.

[planetsstarsandmoons]

Random synastry observations based personal experience, part 3:

Mercury conjunct mars: it’s so funny to be libra mars and see mercury panic and manically diplomat themselves out of any thought they finally had the courage to communicate as soon as you’re being somewhat martian to them. ‘Why were you kissing that guy?’ ‘Why? Do you like me?’ ‘Ehh… nevermind hey look, a bird.’ Mars provokes mercury and mercury gets rises out of mars. This aspect can sometimes play out like missiles firing at each other, even in martian fall like libra. ‘Okay?’ ‘Good!’ ‘Good!’ ‘Fine!’ ‘Fine!!’ You can see this aspect can be funny and exciting as well as… cumbersome.

North node conjunct vertex: oh wow. This one. So this is a person in your life that you’re supposed to run into in a meaningful way. Now I only interpret this ‘meaning’ whatever it may be, as strictly romantic when it’s placed in house placements like 5th, 7th or 8th house. You might have a relationship that completely changes you or there is a fat chance that you get married (because this one is called the marriage aspect!). I personally don’t believe of course that if you have this aspect, therefore you will get married, but the meaning of this aspect in frank language is that ‘where’ your souls are, are each other’s endgame. The person you’ll share this aspect with is either kind of supposed your ‘last love’, or you’ll finish the relationship from the beginning until the end. Think of a successful relationship and marriage of 14 years, because you’ve learned from each other, moved on and will never really let that soul-tie go. Whatever soulmates you think you are with your partner, this amplifies it because you were basically meant to encounter in this way. Someone’s soul-goal (nn) is to meet someone’s soul-ascendant (vx) in the house of home, romance, secc or marital partnership! How this works: fate wants you to work together. You’ll only be able to let each other go when the job is finished and have ended up at each other’s ‘station’ (can also be a station of life lessons!). And with ‘only able’ I mean literally being able. I had this with someone I could not escape. I had this with someone who I consider a soulmate and we’d keep running into each other in places where we should not have had any business with each other! And I don’t mean like the supermarket, I mean student clubs where we both ran into each other because we happened to choose the same one despite both of us not knowing, jobs, apartment buildings we moved into, house viewings/interviews. All places where we were supposed to live our lives. Fate wanted us to be either meaningful acquantainces or best friends or lovers. Either way we were supposed to change each others lives, which plays out well when your relationship is a romantic one !

Venus opposite mars: is easy to be in denial about for a little while, but as soon as you both start acknowledging, even if it’s just for a little bit, that, yes, there is ‘something there’, you will get together in some type of way faster than lightning can hit the ground. If the guy is mars then this will lead to immediate action and borders crossed, if the girl is mars then it will take getting used to their roles, which only makes the romantic tension build up more and more as you can imagine.

Mercury conjunct moon: such a green flag. Whatever the communication is, it’s great and tying you to each other. People forget that moon energy and mercury energy are very opposite in nature and so can create a lot of magnetism too ! Mercury understands the moon completely and feels like being able to look through a looking glass at the inner workings of the moon person’s vulnerability. Moon forces mercury to feel things, because they compliment emotion to mercury’s logic. Moon feels like they can express themselves safely and mercury loves listening to them. Mercury feels secure in moon’s fragile side because they understand and accept it wholly. A very underrated aspect. It’s easy to go deep here. I had this aspect with someone who I would consider a soulmate. When I met him, I was trying to make small talk with 40 different people and with only one stranger I felt like I could be myself and be completely accepted, and that was with him !

Moon conjunct moon: yes. You may be soo ‘typically’ different from each other but still feel like you’re the same person and understand each other the best. It’s an undeniable bond. I have this aspect with someone who is the most quirky, off beat guy I know, worlds away from almost everyone, but still we connect like we’re each other’s home base! It also helps since he’s my crush lol. Having this aspect with best friends is a gift. You can always reconnect and you’ll never really be strangers to each other, ever. It can get annoying, but for the most parts it’s the kind of bond with a person you should be grateful for. Imagine that 1 person from your friend group you really have no reason to be friends with at all. You don’t really have common interests or talk one on one that much, but still you guys consider e/o close! It’s mostly one of the moon people who feels as if you’re unconditional close friends, and the other who’s just happy to have such a nice connection with someone. Imagine being paired up as buddies in school with that friend you’re not really friends with. It’s ~impossible~ to feel out of place like that with someone you have moon conjunct moon with.

Mars sextile venus: I hate when astrologers say ‘this aspect is better when ..planet is a man and ..planet is a woman’, but in this case it really is true (in general also i’ve found it to be true because environment and social upbringing, of course, too has influence on someone’s personality). But especially here it’s true because the positive side, ‘thing’ about this aspect is basically the understanding each other’s energy and the communication that flows easily and nicely. Mars sextile venus may not be the thing that ‘generates’ attraction like mars conjunct/opposite or sometimes trine venus does, but it works like a magical potion in helping it channel it. Especially the mars in question the main-aspector in the synastry chart, like if it’s also (harshly) aspecting the other’s moon or sun or uranus etc. ‘Socially’, planets are also aspected. Like men are for example taught to be more in tune with their mars, women are also taught to recognise and understand the mars-side to a man’s character. This will only amplify the benefits mars sextile venus aspect, as you can imagine. So this flow of in untraditional roles isn’t as easy to achieve as the other, as you can imagine. That one works better with a longer platonic stage, which is what I often find when a woman plays mars and the man plays venus. For lbtq+ relationships you can almost throw all of this uneasiness out of the window, depending on how little the parties identify with heteronormative roles in relationships. In my own experience, being the woman in mars sextile venus in a hetero relationship, this aspect feels like the way you got your two barbie dolls to get married to each other, only you’ll be kind of star-struck living the real-life-action version of this yourself. The parties won’t really be nervous around each other in the pre-relationship phase where this aspect is concerned! Because the chemistry that’s generated from this aspect isn’t really ‘much’, it’s taken and embraced wholly during all the interactions, because at its 100% top energy you’re not even being vulgar, you’re just being flirty and funny and easy with each other, and people will remark on your chemistry in their heads. It’s not this ‘out of control’ crazy thing to have, but it’s nice and romantic. This is the kind of relationship that everyone loves to see and can get two people who you’d never imagine crossing those boundaries, crossing that boundary. I’ve seen this aspect a lot between couples that got together after being in the same class for years, or friends that were simply introduced to each other at wholesome occasions like a wedding.

Pluto 12th house overlay: I’ve never felt as mentally ill as when I was with someone whose pluto was overlaying in my twelfth house. This doesn’t deserve laughing emojis! It was real. Pluto conjuncts my ascendant, so basically any guy who is older than me shares this overlay with me. This aspect would create the kind of connection where pluto, for some reason, would just magically have insight on what I was thinking and what my deepest unconscious thoughts were, all the time. This goes platonically as well. ‘Lol, that sounded faked’ ‘haha, why are you making things up all the time’ ‘but really, though, you are not okay, right?’ Maybe GO AWAY? I’m just kidding, here is your new role as my confessional even though you make me feel so uncomfortable for no reason for what is deep inside me. I’m doomed am I not ?

Moon opposite/square/inconjunct/semisquare mars: sigh… just watch Bridgeton season 2. Yes, it may be a slight charicature of what this is, but it is that. Believe me. There is natural strife between these two people but such comfort as well. The enemies-to-lovers trope based around the ‘giving up’ and swooning is based on a moon-person’s role in a harsh moon-mars synastry aspect. The trope of ‘giving in’ and protecting/pursuing/declaring feelings in a burst of passion is based on the mars-person’s role in this aspect. Moon square mars: In a non-romcom scenario, this relationship plays out as two people who aren’t supposed to even like each other, but it’s near unnoticeable due to the sheer attraction and crushes present. Moon opposite mars: these people weren’t supposed to give each other time of day, but that goes unnoticed too, because both recognise something in the other that misses in themselves and realise how this makes them fit together. Like venus opposite mars, it’s easy to be in denial about it for a while, but depending on how strongly these people are going to interact, they will want to get together as fast as they can. This is because the tension created by the opposites will moreso draw them together (dramatically, they’re still moon and mars) than create an energy field that electrocutes either one of them, depending on which day (like the square does).

[jolinaprincess]

INTRODUCTION

Hello everyone and to the people that is following me and thank you for following me. I know it's slow going but I was going to put ch.2 up but it seemed like it needed alot of work from the people I asked help from. So, starting backward instead of forward... here is the introduction of the story please like and comment. DON'T OWN THE PHOTOS AND BTS

Yn (codename Bella when doing jobs for that monster) :  20 year's old, a fighter with a kind heart still, unwanted child, sold to a monster/ devil Mr. Melgar at 15 yrs old when presented as an Omega. Trained in Assassinations, Combat, Weaponry, Seduction, and Acting. Will kill anyone in a heartbeat whoever hurts her made up family. 

Friends: BTS at childhood but left when she was 7yrs old.  During the time she was at the monster's base she made friends with a girl named Jolina, both sons of Mr. Melgar and also with Mr. Melgar's sons' group of friends. Mates: BTS

BTS: Alpha's, mid to late 20's, own's legit restaurants, nightclub's, etc., sometimes works with the government even though they are Mafia Kings, was born into the mafia world and was trained since their early teens. was searching for Yn for a few years until they met their best childhood friend Janet (aka Yn's stand in), they know that Janet isn't really Yn just acting dumb until Yn show's up and have the long-awaited talk, Made South Korea a safe haven for Omega's, and Beta's. Childhood friends of Yn and her mates also.

Mr. Melgar/Monster/Mr. Devil: age late 40's Power-hungry two-faced guy, has legal and illegal businesses/dealings, has wife and twin boys, Cold hearted person but loved his wife and kids once upon a time before money and power went to his head. Bought Jolina when was 15 yrs old., Doesn't get his hands dirty by letting his girls/boys do the dirty work for him. A person who really hates it when he doesn't get what he wants.   

Yuki Melgar & Zero Melgar: Mr.Melgar twin boys Alpha's, born 30mins. before his brother, they are 29 years old and nine years apart from Yn., Yuki is Tsundere  while Zero is more Tsundere. They want their father dead for killing their mother and her family. They are both trained on taking over their Father's Legal and Illegal businesses. Closer to Yn than to Jolina since Yn is the baby of the group. Friends with their father allies son's all of them wanting a better life without Mr. Melgar and their friend's fathers in it.

Jolina/Yn's partner: A Omega 29 years old one year apart from the twins and eight years apart from Yn, She was bought when she was really young doesn't remember much about her life before being bought. She was taught everything there was to know about getting the job done, was brainwashed into being a cold killing machine loyal to Mr. Melgar until meeting Yn. When she met Yn it was in one of the girls rooms in the Melgar mansion and saw Yn curled into herself on the bed crying and decided to train Yn in everything she knows to survive in this type of world. 

Janet (a.k.a Yn's stand in): A 20yrs old Omega. She has an uncanny similarity to Yn as in body and looks, she was in trouble with one of the local gang's when Yn and Jolina found her and helped her out. Yn realized that they uncannily look like twins except with different parents which is odd but not unheard of. Since at that time with Yn being 17 almost 18 years old, she asked Janet to watch over her childhood friends Bts so that they could stop searching for her and just to live life. So, after months of teaching Janet self-defense, and how to act like Yn somewhat since it's been a long time since they last saw each other, Yn and Jolina dropped off Janet in the airport heading for South Korea. Once at South Korea airport, she called for a taxi then told the driver to take her to one of the BTS's businesses and the rest is history. She doesn't know that BTS knows that she is not the real Yn but was playing dumb. 

HOW SOULMATES/MATES WORK

SOULMATES ARE MATCHES TO THE SOUL AND YOUR FOREVER PARTNER. IT STARTED TO APPEAR 50 YEARS AGO WHEN PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD STARTED HAVING REALLY WEIRD SIGNS ON THEIR BODY. EVERYONE STARTED TO GET SICK SINCE THEY WERE WITH PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T THEIR SOULMATES.  A LOT OF PEOPLE DIED FOR BEING STUBBORN ON NOT FINDING THEIR SOULMATES AND STAY WITH THE PEOPLE THEY'VE CHOOSEN. IN ORDER FOR HUMANITY TO KEEP ON GOING  THE GOVERNMENT FORCED THE PEOPLE INTO FINDING THEIR SOULMATE OR OTHERWISE BE KILLED IN THE HANDS OF THE GOVERNMENT SINCE PEOPLE WAS STILL BEING STUBBORN THE GOVERNMENT ORDERED THEIR SCIENTISTS TO COME UP WITH A WAY TO KEEP HUMANITY GOING THAT'S WERE ALPHA,BETA,OMEGA COMES IN AND STARTED TO EXPERIMENT WITH THE ANIMAL DNA AND HUMAN DNA TO SEE IF THEY CAN BE STABLE TOGETHER. IT TOOK A FEW YEARS TO GET IT RIGHT BUT THEY FINALLY DID IT AND MADE IT INTO A ONE TIME PILL. ONCE THE GOVERNMENT ORDERED THE PEOPLE TO START TAKING THE PILL AFTER TAKING IT PEOPLE STARTED TO ACCEPT THEIR SOULMATES SLOWLY BUT SURELY. THAT WAS THEN NOW IT'S MORE ACCEPTED AND THE GOVERNMENT EASED UP ON IT DURING THE YEARS SINCE NOW THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP: SOULMATE, UNIQUE SOULMATE, AND MATES. 

ALPHA: THE LEADER TYPE, DOMINANT PERSONALITY, THE MAIN ONES WHO OWNS BUSINESSES DOCTORS, THERE ARE ALPHA'S WHO ARE THE FOLLOWING TYPE BUT NOT IN THE BEDROOM. ALL ALPHA KNOW'S HIGHLY OF THEMSEVLES AROUND THE WORLD EXCEPT SOME STATES IN THE USA RECENTLY BUT SLOWLY MOVING TO OTHER STATES AND SOUTH KOREA. 

BETA: SECOND LEADER TYPE WHEN ALPHA IS NOT THERE OR HAS DONE SOMETHING WRONG IN THEIR EYES. MAKING SURE EVERYTHING IS RUNNING SMOOTHLY ANDTAKEN CARED OF. TREATED HORRIBLILY IN THE OTHER STATES THAT IS SLOWLY CHANGING AND AROUND THE WORLD EXCEPT STATES THAT ARE CHANGED AND SOUTH KOREA, THEY GET TO HAVE HIGHER PAYING JOB UNLESS THEY LOVE THE JOB THEIR DOING SO JUST A HIGHER PAY, BETTER HEALTH CARE AND PAID VACATION TIME. 

OMEGA: MAINLY TO TAKE CARE OF THE FAMILY AND USE FOR BREEDING. MOSTLY SEEN AS A BABY MAKER, TREATED AS LOWEST OF THE LOW THEY HAVE LOW PAYING JOBS AND SEEN AS TRASH. SOME STATES IN THE USA HAVE CHANGED THEIR LAWS AND VIEWS GIVING FREEDOM AND RIGHTS TO THEM IN OWN THEIR OWN STORE OR BUSINESSES. WHILE THE OTHER STATES ARE SLOWLY CHANGING THEIR LAWS NOT THEIR VIEW. IN SOUTH KOREA OMEGA HAS THEIR FREEDOM AND RIGHTS, THEY ARE SEEN AS EQUALS.  

UNIQUE SOULMATES ARE THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE WHICHEVER SIGN THAT WILL HELP YOU FIND YOUR SOULMATE OR SOULMATES OR DON'T HAVE SIGNS, BUT THE ADDED TO IT IS THAT IF YOUR SOULMATE IS AN OMEGA THE OMEGA HAS TO MAKE SURE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH HER NOT BECAUSE OF THE SIGN BUT BY BEING HER TRUE SELF.   DO NOT REJECT A UNIQUE SOULBOND IT WILL KILL THE OMEGA SOULMATE. IF THE SOULMATE DOES NOT HAVE THE SIGN'S OR THE MARKS. THE PERSON HAS TO TOUCH THE PERSON IN ORDER TO MAKE IT CLICK. 

MATES ARE THE PEOPLE WHO IGNORE THEIR SOULMATE FOR THE PEOPLE THEY CHOOSE TO BE WITH. NOW THEY DON'T GET KILLED OFF BY THE GOVERNMENT SINCE HUMANITY IS THRIVING AGAIN SO THEY CAN STAY WITH THE PERSON THEY CHOOSEN TO BE WITH. WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE SOULMATES THAT GETS REJECTED? THEY CAN CHOOSE OR WAIT FOR A SECOND CHANCE SOULMATE TO COME.

[angelicsaggie]

Matchmakers of the Zodiac: Juno

Juno is known for bringing people together through marriage and relationships. She wants you to find an individual that best suits you, therefore in your natal chart the asteroid Juno reveals the type of partner you need in your life. Do not focus on the 21st century definition of soulmate because love and relationships happen naturally when you are spiritually ready to attract your partner. This is also how you attract friendships, you do not focus on the term "best friend" you just go with the flow.

Do This Before You Start a Relationship

Would you want someone to give you a heavy suitcase to hold and you cannot place it on the floor? If not then leave your baggage behind when you enter a new relationship! Relationships is a job that requires you to sacrifice, make time, and reevaluate your boundaries (you usually blast music at 10pm but your partner dislikes it now you have to compromise.) In addition, you are suppose to grow with your partner spiritually, mentally, and physically. This is why Virgo, Sagittarius, Capricorn, and Aquarius are hesitant about committing to relationships.

—

Why Am I Still Single?

You attract your partner and friendships when the universe believes that you are ready to start a new relationship. Sometimes you think that you are ready when you actually are not. 

You and/or your future partner is currently healing 

You need to focus on loving yourself more because you get too dependent in your relationships and forget that you are an independent person.

You need to learn more knowledge or spiritual information about the world before you can attract your partner

You need to balance your masculine and feminine energy.

You need to improve the quality of men/women that you date. You are so desperate for a relationship that you will date anyone who is attract to you, but just because someone is attracted to you doesn't mean that they are a great fit for you. You need to connect mentally and spiritually not just physically. 

You are deeply wounded and you need to heal your scars before you play Russian Roulette in a new relationship.

Some people need to remain friends. Look beyond lust.

You are too controlling, passive, mean, rude, dominant, selfish, obsessive, manipulative, jealous, busy, or have too much free time.

You wear rose colored glasses. You look for the best qualities in a person and ignore their toxic behaviors and words. 

—

Juno

1st house ♈️

Do not let your ego or your partner's ego get the best out of the relationship. This partnership is meant to grow mentally and spiritually. It will benefit the two of you if you can do physical things together like hobbies, exercise, and travel. Since Aries represents self, make sure that you spend time alone to recharge your energies.

2nd house ♉️

Someone in this relationship most likely has a love language of giving or receiving gifts. However, being in nature can heal the both of you, enrich your spiritual knowledge, and bring you closer together.

3rd house ♊️

Similar to Juno 9th house, this placement brings intelligent people together. As long as the two of you are honest and express your true emotions and opinions to each other the relationship will feel very nurturing. Do not settle with a partner that does not fit your communication style and love language or you will be miserable.

4th house ♋️

Cancer makes you very sensitive rather it is through your emotions or environment. You need a partner who will be honest with you and not judge you for being open to your emotions. Your partner will also be open-minded, gentle, and very spiritual.

5th house ♌️

This is a fun sign to do experiments with your partner. You could travel, work on hobbies, and create businesses together. You might need a very romantic partner, and if your partner does not treat you like the king or queen that you are then it is time to call it quits.

6th house ♍️

Virgo can make you value a partner who is perfect, but it is important to remember that being perfect is a myth. Focus on the best qualities of your partner without overlooking toxic habits. You can attract your partner if you work on your hobbies, go to work, and help out the community.

7th house ♎️

This duo needs to have time apart. If you spend too much time together it could make you form a dependency. Make sure that you make your own decisions and that you are not always relying on your partner to choose what to do. This can be a very beautiful placement because your partner will be very beautiful rather through their interests, looks, actions, or personality. 

8th house ♏️

You crave a partner who will worship you. Not necessarily by shrines but someone who will find you alluring and intriguing. This individual will be loyal to you and shower you with love, merging energies, and their possessions. 

9th house ♐️

You need a partner who wants to increase their knowledge. This could be from traveling, college, spirituality, and beyond the world of Jupiter. You and your partner will share information to each other. Your relationships will always transform your mind because you are flexible with information. Attract a partner who will be open to spirituality so the both of you can travel through the depths of time together.

10th house ♑️

Your partner or yourself could be a workaholic so it is important to find time to be together and apart. You need a partner that you respect. Perhaps your partner has a career, integrity, or mindset that you find wonderful.

11th house ♒️

This is the placement where you are most likely to meet your partner in the community (also Juno 6th). It would be great if you have an unconventional relationship. Who cares what society says? Do what is best for your relationship!

12th house ♓️

You and/or your partner is extremely sensitive to the world. Your partner needs to be able to talk with you about everything even their subconscious world. Attract a partner that will be able to travel with you through the art, music, and the fantasy world.

—

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[radiomogai]

Anon again! I know you are probably busy and have other things to do (Haha..unlike me) I have no friends other than you. But the time It takes you to respond can be very hurtful sometimes. Honestly we haven’t really been talking recently, and I kind of considered blocking you, you know.

Can we honestly E-date? You always make me laugh, you literally make me a better person. I really enjoy every moment we spend together. My time has no value unless it is spent with you. I want to be your soulmate, I don’t think you ever realize how amazing you are sometimes. I love you, please date me. You seem so uninterested and it hecking kills me. I want to remove you but I care too much, I’m begging you to either love me or never contact me again. It hurts so much to say this because I need you by my side but I can’t handle the pain.

hi anon! i hit post limit. i literally haven't been able to post all day. not only that, i'm currently having a fatigue flare, meaning that i have very little energy and i currently can't even sit up without assistance. i unfortunately don't have a lot of spoons to spend on Tumblr, as if i spend them on here, it means i don't have the energy to do things later like eat, drink water, or take painkillers

i don't know who you are. you're coming at me behind an anonymous ask with no context to who you are. i don't know if we've ever spoken off-anon; i don't know if we've ever spoken at all. i'm also deeply uncomfortable by the intensity of what you're saying, especially considering i don't know who you are. i'm honestly a little worried about you from this ask alone, and i think it's best that you seek out some help; perhaps resources for BPD? here's a post with links to workbooks on DBT, and just in case, here's a list of crisis helplines

beyond that, i'm also simply not interested in dating out of the blue. i already have two partners, and someone in my system has another. we don't have the time nor energy to properly devote to another relationship. if we were to get into another relationship, it would be unhealthy because we wouldn't be able to put into it what it deserves

please take care, anon, please stay safe

[nukenai]

I have a folder solely for Pokemon Masters dialogue I consider to be acts of violence against me that legitimately get me emotionally overwhelmed and I am preparing for Saturday as best I can but I'm sure I'm going to be taken out by this fucking tactical drone strike of a character addition

below the cut I will share with you all some shit that makes me lose my fucking mind and I am sitting here crying at my computer about it

thanks for adding the "both" Steven, to refer to my partner pokemon as well, so you telling me that I fucking "Shine like a precious gem" only did mortal damage instead of also killing the ghost escaping my body

I want to make a joke like "haha Ingo thinks I have money" but I'm too busy gnawing the flesh off my arms and shattering the bones underneath with only my teeth. Why is he making that FUCKING face at me.

Siebold: clawing his way out of "that crush faded away after I finished XY because Looker sidequest melted my brain" hell to absolutely ruin my fucking life and remain in my top 10 pokedudes. I don't think this game understands how much it means to me when people make or give me food, especially with a warm and caring manner. I am so fucked, I will not survive Saturday.

I hope one clocks you right in your empty fucking head you piece of shit. How fucking dare you say this to me.

EVERYTHING MOLAYNE HAS EVER SAID IS A NEVER ENDING FUCKING NIGHTMARE I CAN NEVER ESCAPE FROM

Darach was literally the reason I bought Pokemon Platinum and found Looker. I saw his ass and went "oh that Kokuran guy is cute as hell" and bought a game I was legitimately planning to skip. And now he's here hoping I consider him a friend and thinking about my future.

I've hated Caitlin for unknown reasons for a thousand years but the instant he said this to me, that he hopes Caitlin and I can be good influences on each other and get along, and be good trainers together, so that he can stay close to me, it all melted away.

Also, he is the only character who has ever chastised me for staying up late. Everyone else is just like "it can get cold out at night" or some shit. I notoriously have horrible sleep habits but sometimes I think about Darach telling me it's ill-advised to keep late hours and I tell him to shut up and go to bed late anyways.

Hilariously, Looker has never said anything extremely devastating like all these fucking freaks, because he's not really an outwardly accidentally romantic kind of guy. He's fucking done enough though. The XY postgame was surely enough. But there is shit like this, in which I feel taunted:

Yeah man. You don't fucking say. Fuck you.

I really didn't need convincing that Looker was my soulmate, but I was all the more sure when they decided to make him obsessed with food.

I don't think I could've handled Looker saying even one thing that got me mildly flustered after his entire existence in the anime and the XY postgame. I just couldn't. I would've died.

I wonder what nightmares await me over the weekend. The voice clips were bad enough. Fuck I'm so dead.

keep your hands to your FUCKING self you fucking MONSTER

[thaiamulet-us]

Phra Ngang Powerful Amulet Pendant for fast luck love and sex ( Phra Ngang Phu Ta Rit Achan Khiao Thep Thong size 3.8*1.9 cm )

Phra Ngang Powerful Amulet Pendant for fast luck love and sex (💵 lucky outcomes with money, gambling, wealth. and love coming to you quickly and effectively.)

Phra Ngang Phu Ta Rit Achan Khiao Thep Thong size 3.8*1.9 cm พระงั่งภูตาฤทธิ์ เนื้อชนวนโลหะชุบทอง อาจารย์เขียว เทพทอง 2557 Phra Ngang Magically enchant your target for love or attraction purposes is perfect for increasing the passion and closeness in your relationship. This very powerful amulet pendant will lock your target person and cause them to become crazy over you. They will always be thinking of you and longing for your presence. Great for those seeking for promotion,and to win in any competition ,your competitors will fail in their attempt to overcome you In popular Thai culture, Phra Ngang is sometimes called the "Ghost King" or "Demon King", and even thought to represent a Powerful Warlock. Phra Ngangs are believed to help Magicians and Spiritual Practitioners to create positive spells And Phra Ngangs are believed to help their owners become more sexually attractive, block black magic and they are revered as protective spirits that will defend their owners against aggression and ill wishes. 💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸 Phra Ngan Amulet Pendant This is a stunning amulet designed to give luck in all matters of life as Phra Ngang is best for granting wishes, he is also good for attracting people with strong Maha Saneah qualities. Phra Ngang is seen as a friend to those on the fringes of society as he can adapt to us easily. Strong sex binding amulet pendant have been designed to change your love life. Having a partner is never enough as you have to make your lover committed to you. Phra Ngan Amulet have a strong spiritual code that you can never break the bond once it has been set. The Phra Ngan Amulet will bring you much and more closer to your lover than ever before. You will find it easier to attract love and compassion from others You will soon be able to find and attract your soulmate You will attract customers to your business and improve sales You will appear irresistible to the opposite sex The Magic Pendant will also facilitate the manifestation of a desired outcome to any intentions or wishes The great power can turn the situation around, changing those who were Once Your Enemy, to become your Friends, and, in the case of the Opposite Sex (or Same sex) to fall in Love with You. " 🎯 To get maximum power from Thai amulet Magic talisman , There are no negatives to keeping this item and it is safe for all. you should Use them as much as you can. there are no rules or restriction on who carry it or where it's carried you can carry this item anywhere including the restroom and anyone can carry it man, woman, Gay Lesbian Homosexual or Child. 🙏 Moreover, Magic Thai Amulet can be used either by Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, This means that people from all faiths and religions can benefit from using this type of amulet. Please Bring along the Magic Thai Amulet when going out and about, The more one uses the amulet, the better the results. Use the Magic talisman cloth frequently, and the energies in the Magic talisman cloth will settle in your aura and boost your personal magnetism. It works by affecting willpower and happens naturally because of the sacred components contained within. Read the full article

[orieriee]

If One Piece Guys Are IRL Bfs part 2

Author's note: here's the part 1 😋 also how are you guys? I felt bored so I made a part 2, also wrote this literally half asleep while listening to music, not sure if this is proof read, this is fluff all the way, enjoy!

pairings! Sabo, Luffy, Sanji (separate) x gn!reader

Sabo:

He's the mature but also childish partner, like he handle adult stuff and all maturely but sometimes he likes to play around

He's in the middle between Ace and Law I would say (Read here)

The type of bf that you can rely on, have a stable relationship with, open and very communicative, he handles problems in your relationship SO well

He makes you feel comfortable and safe whenever you're with him, he gives you so much security <3 but I feel like he's lowkey possessive too 👀

You could feel his hand pressing on your lower back to guide you or to assert dominance to let others know that you're taken whenever you're in public or crowded space where he thinks everybody's looking at you

Tell me why but I think one of his favorite dates is going to Disneyland with you

Because I definitely can see him buying cute matching souvenirs with you and he'd be the one who suggested it

Like if you're staring at a mickey keychain let's say, he'll notice and goes "Babe, do you wanna get matching keychains with me?"

Oh and he might not seem like it, but he likes to cook breakfast for you,, he's literally so husband material *hands out marriage papers* 😩💞

Also would leave cute notes/letters to you when he leaves for business trips

Will take you home safely and kisses your forehead before seeing you go inside your house, saying "I love you, see you tomorrow" with warm lovestruck eyes (with a cute smile, in a trench coat or a very boyfriend outfit, sir I cannot- I'm going to marry you)

A yes for marriage out of 10 would recommend

Monkey D. Luffy:

A LITERAL sunshine, protect at all costs, he's definitely the best friend boyfriend

He makes you so comfortable and safe and happy with him, it's like you guys weren't dating but you feel like you guys are best friends for a lifetime (like soulmates type of vibe)

You guys do silly goofy things together, extreme adrenaline pumping experience together, very much fun activities to do with him and he makes you the happiest person in the world

Cuddles, holding hands, kisses, HUGE amount of PDA with Luffy! Shower him with love and he reciprocate double the love <3 but really, he just cherishes you so much he doesn't want you to ever to leave. Ever.

But let's admit it, deep down Luffy is possessive 😃🙏

He doesn't want anyone to be your bestest friend (in significant other kind of way) except for him so if you ever get a little bit too close with another person, he'll start questioning himself or will tell you straight away that he doesn't like it

Yes, he's very straight with his feelings so communication isn't always a problem for both of you

He has many favorite dates that guys like to do together but his one best date yet is probably when you two went skydiving together

Like I said, Luffy likes adrenaline pumping activities so for him it was definitely so much fun when you guys did skydiving together, it's one of his memory cores honestly

But if you're on the calmer or introverted side or the less energetic side than Luffy, he would understand and tries to make you do other fun activities.

Sometimes he even takes interest in your favorite things,, if you like knitting, he would try and take interest in it just so he can enjoy the activity that you like together

Definitely a best out of friend 💯

Sanji:

He's the perfect boyfriend thank you.

Treats you like a king/queen, like y'all better find a man that treats you like that😩💞✨

Acts of service 💯💯 he ain't in the customer service department but mhmm mhmm his service is undefeatable, definitely a 5 star

He lets you do whatever you want, wear anything you like, is not possessive, VERY supportive, if he's a RL boyfriend, he's definitely a man written by a woman🙄

But he can be a little bit of an overflirt sometimes, because he just can't help but think everyone is gorgeous and perfect the way they are✨💞 so he can't help it but simp for them

But if he's in a relationship, he would only focus solely on his partner, he would limit "simping" for others and only simp for you one and only

His favorite date, anything revolving you but if he has to pick one it would be at home date

Watch a series together while cuddling or play board games or card games, sometimes have deep conversations or do skincare on each other and then for dinner he cooks for you while you wait and set up a cute dinner table with romantic candles

Also likes to do cheesy romantic things people do in a relationship such as holding up a big sign saying "I LOVE Y/N" in public when he's picking you up for a date, would buy cheesy couple T-shirts lile "if lost, return to Y/N" or "I'm Y/N's significant other" and he bought you one too ofc!

Also he LOVES to spoil you, especially with food yea, so don't worry about your weight from now on, you will be fed constantly and healthily don't worry, he also respects it if you want to go on a diet so he'll cook you diet food (but it's also still SUPER delicious)

PDA is also huge with his man but acts of service definitely stands out more, and he's so romantic on top of that

Definitely 5 stars out of 5, husband daddy material💯

[bratz-kitten]

the moon through the houses 

moon in the 1st house: very emotional and delicate - it's like you wear your heart on your sleeves. it's impossible for you to hide your feelings. enchanting aura. so so sensitive and it might be very easy to hurt you. you trust your intuition and gut feeling like no other and you make your decisions based on it, here is present a potential for intense psychic abilities where you might be able to predict things for others. when you were younger, your intuition might have been very overwhelming. spontaneous in your responses; with you, everything depends on your emotional state. you might pride yourself a lot on your empathetic nature, your need to take care of and nurture everyone, how affectionate you are - but you also want to be spoiled. a need to be noticed for your talents. controlling your mood swings is necessary to use your intuition constructively, to achieve your dreams - because truthfully, you can be too defensive and reactive; try not to take everything to heart. a need for emotional stimulation. you may act overly cold to protect yourself because you've been very hurt in the past. 

moon in the 2nd house: your emotional security depends on knowing that your financial future is stable - and the constant changes you might experience when it comes to your finances and your self-worth might bring you a lot of anxiety. there's a tendency to not realize your own worth. you want you and those close to you to always feel at home and nurtured, a home where you always feel protected and can protect them - be careful with putting other's needs above your own. you can take a lot of pleasure from making gifts for your loved ones. can easily go from very generous and offering everything to others to want to keep everything to yourself due to your fear of losing security. give off a mysterious and deep aura. emotional attachment to things that remind you of your past and those who you love. tendency to shop your problems away whenever you feel sad and empty. you hold on strongly to the ones you love and can be very possessive over them. honest to a fault; others might not be able to handle your honesty. incredibly artistic, you express your thoughts through the creation of art.  

moon in the 3rd house: your mind seems to run at a thousand kilometers per hour, and the amount of information you're capable of absorbing + your tendency to overthink might have you literally hurting from thinking so much. you react very fast to things. gaining knowledge makes you feel emotionally fulfilled. so eloquent and intelligent, with various interests and a love for sharing your ideas with others. a love for writing. ideas that bounce from one to the other. it almost feels like you have the answer to all the universe's secrets. fascinating thinking process, but you can get too stuck in the past sometimes. you get nervous whenever you spend too much time in one place, there's a need for constant change present here - but still, you are very attached to the places where you were raised. logic interconnecting with emotions. you love talking about your emotions and private matters, so others, sensing this disposition in you, might feel instantly safe when it comes to sharing their secrets with you. 

moon in the 4th house: you give great importance to your home and your family, and with them is where you feel the most emotionally secure. you might be very distrusting of strangers and it can be particularly hard to get close to you, but once someone's in, they'll feel your love forever. very sensitive to the needs of loved ones, like you have this intuition that allows you to feel what they feel. there's a need for change in your environment present here, you might feel the need to move somewhere else a lot in an attempt to deal with your inner restlessness. eventually, you'll have to learn that home isn't a place but it's something you carry with you wherever you go. for better or worse, your parents had a great impact on you. you might constantly be subconsciously looking for their approval. intense mood swings that only seem to become more prominent as the years go by, careful with letting insecurity take over you. breaking old habits can seem almost impossible, but if they're toxic, please learn to let them go. you can be very emotional and nostalgic, with a deep craving for intimacy. 

moon in the 5th house: you have such a kind and generous nature, always looking to look out for the lives of the ones you love. tendency to be overly dramatic and for exaggeration. a deeply creative soul, you easily express your emotions through art. a talent for acting and drama, a love for being the center of attention. imagination and daydreaming. so expressive, passionate, spontaneous. a love for intense romantic relationships, your passion is magnetic to others. although you can be too fond of taking risks - when it comes to money, buying things and love. might be too addicted to playing games rather than to the person who you're with. be careful with needing people to need you, and to get stuck in codependent relationships. can be overly authoritative. your charmingly childish spirit can have you being great with kids. constantly in a competition with yourself to be better, prettier, smarter, with better style, more successful. a need to be the best in everything you do. 

moon in the 6th house: very caring and emotional, with a deep need to help others around you. your emotional distress can easily physically manifest itself - stress, anxiety and feeling insecure can deteriorate your health dramatically. you care a lot for working hard and for being healthy. you feel the most emotionally satisfied when you're advancing in a job that you love, when you're able to make your coworkers feel like one big family, when you not only take care of the ones you love but you feel spoiled and nurtured back. tendency to panic when things don't go your way. your need for perfection can be downright toxic - you need to realize that you're a human who's allowed to make mistakes. a love for a stable routine. a talent for solving problems. you might be too selfless, helping without expecting anything in return - careful with being taken advantage of. you need variety in your career so you might constantly be changing jobs. you don't like to wallow, you want to move on from the things that make you feel stuck. a love for self-improvement. 

moon in the 7th house: you feel the most emotionally fulfilled when you're supported by the ones you love the most, when you feel secure and protected in their presence. you might often feel vulnerable, like you need to belong to someone else which is why the idea of soulmates is so attractive to you - but before loving others, you need to learn to love yourself, even the darkest parts that you try to pretend aren't there. be careful with staying in relationships where you're no longer happy and in love, security should be found in yourself and not in others. a love for romantic gestures, for intimacy and affection. you might use your personal relationships to get what you want. people skills - you're able to see all the perspectives in a situation and to adapt to others' needs, which is why you're so well-liked. friends that feel like family. very interested in their public persona and in being admired, and this need for an audience can be misunderstood by your partners. a talent for business and the arts. 

moon in the 8th house: you deeply want to connect with others, but your trust issues make it very difficult for you to let yourself trust your partners. you get easily attached to others because of that need for nurture, but on the other hand, there's a fear of rejection and loss present here. very supportive of your close ones, unconditional type of love. a tendency for possessiveness and jealousy, can also be controlling. you might be into going on a shopping spree every time you feel sad. hypnotizing look and magnetism. psychic abilities. you're very secretive because you don't want others to figure you out - you have a deep understanding of life and loved ones, knowing their darkest parts, but you don't like being known yourself, being very secretive about your emotions. can be emotionally unstable. you need intimacy to enjoy sex, you're not the type to enjoy having one-night stands. you hide the memories that pain you. you shouldn't ever allow life or a love betrayal to put out the spark of passion in you, because that's what makes you yourself. a desire to merge with someone, something else. 

moon in the 9th house: there's this craving present in you to escape, to constantly be on the move; a need for travel and to fall into the belief that the grass is greener on the other side - what are you trying to run away from? you need to understand that happiness comes not from a place but the inside; you are your home and no amount of moving will fill the emptiness inside of you if you're not willing to fill it with your own self-love. with a need to be constantly stimulated, you're terrified of routine. an innate need to know, explore, dream and delve into the deeper meanings of life. you don't want to change the world, you want to change the whole universe. a true visionary. a constant change of your life philosophy and interests. constantly traveling even if only in your mind - this placement makes for a daydreamer whose imagination enables you to fantasize about practically anything. a tendency to idealize the world - not all is as beautiful and good as you want it to be, the world is much darker and cruel. a capability of turning your dreams into reality. can have a tendency to be obsessive. you want to stimulate others’ minds with your words. 

moon in the 10th house: there's an extreme sensitivity to you that you can't hide from the world; but even if your overwhelming emotions are keeping you from appearing stable and composed, it's their intensity that will aid you in your ambitions to get to the top of the mountain. you aren't really private - you thrive when having a public, but be careful with getting involved with scandals for putting your life too out there for others to scrutinize. special charisma that others can't look away from. very indecisive when it comes to choosing a career because your emotions rule over what you want out of life. craving for recognition and success, and when you're not being admired, you may feel moody and deeply hurt. a need to nurture and protect the world. your parents' words, good or bad, have a big impact on you and drive you to succeed. very emotional when it comes to your loved ones, they might baby you a lot. an approach to reach your dreams that feels almost intuitive, like your brain is unconsciously wired to get you closer to them. difficulty with keeping relationships and secrets private because you always seem to be under the spotlight. 

moon in the 11th house: it's like you feel other people's pain and struggles, very sensitive to the pain of the world. here is present a need to ease others' burdens to feel emotionally fulfilled, you don't want your happiness to be your own only but want everyone to experience it. full of dreams, but they can change according to how you feel. can be emotionally unstable. a need for the support of your friends; when not feeling loved, it breaks your heart and makes you want to isolate yourself. you radiate charm and an intuitive knowing of how to make others have fun when in your presence. friends that feel like family. those of influence want to help you succeed. you need to rely on your intuition to figure out who's trustworthy and who isn't. you should work on your need to have the approval of others and understand that it's up to you to approve of yourself. can give a lot of conflicts with loved ones when you're at your most emotionally involved. easily impressed, independent and with an unconventional personality that others might disapprove of, but you're too unapologetically yourself to care. careful with attracting unstable people because you have a thing for those who society rejects. very private about your personal life. 

moon in the 12th house: you have an overwhelming sensitivity that can't be found in many others, like you intuitively feel what others are feeling, but all of these intense emotions might wear you down and disturb the sense of peace that you so desire. deeply empathetic. even though you understand what others feel, you might be very lost when it comes to your own emotions, needing to retreat from society every once in a while to recharge your energy. attracted by the unknown, all that is transcendental and far from the physical realm. psychic potential. incredible imagination; you might have a lot of vivid dreams and nightmares, which can give you a very chaotic sleeping pattern and even insomnia. artistic inclination, when you express your intensity through art you create magic. you might be attracted to secret love affairs and all that is forbidden. mysterious and secretive aura. fear of losing others and being abandoned because trust comes very hard to you. before succumbing to your need to help others, give yourself that kind of tenderness. you can't stand when others try to limit you. 

[nervouscupcakeinspace]

BTS FIC RECS (PART 2)

Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok | J-Hope

Don't Get Charmed by shikiso

When an injured omega is found on their territory, Jungkook's instincts scream danger. He is the pack's omega, they don't need another one. Jungkook is doing a good enough job by himself, protecting the den and soothing the tension off everybody's shoulders.

Why is the pack so adamant on keeping that useless omega in ?

They have Jungkook, they don't need Hoseok.

Why can't they even see his little game ? Hoseok definitely knows how to play the scared and helpless omega. But, if he manages to trick everybody, he can't trick Jungkook. He is immune to his sweet scent and sweeter eyes.

He won't fall into his trap.

Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin

Omega Drip by sugamongoose

Park Jimin is the kind of alpha who makes you coffee and asks about your day before reducing his partner to a crying, writhing mess on his organic cotton sheets. He doesn't even seem to care one bit that Jungkook is a broken omega who doesn't get wet when he's supposed to.

“Are you busy right now, alpha?” Jungkook asks, holding his breath in anticipation. He can already visualise getting on his knees for the smaller man, can imagine those soft-looking hands petting his hair in approval when he shows just how good his mouth is.

Jeon Jungkook/Kim Namjoon | RM

Every Kind of Way by Oh_Hey_Tae

And then he realizes, quite belatedly, that he’s not supposed to be shaking the hand of the barista. Because that’s weird. And uncalled for. And really, really weird.

So Jungkook draws back his arm, grips the straps of his backpack, and promptly flees the building without a word spoken. Which is fine. Sometimes you have to get out of awkward social situations and blacklist particular cafés and adjust your route to school to avoid said café and the barista with the heart shaped face and his sweet pea scented hands. It happens.

“Jungkook-ah, meet Kim Namjoon.”

And sometimes during your bi-weekly dinner one of your good friends introduces you to said barista with the terribly soft hands who also happens to be getting his masters in social work to help underprivileged youth in inner city neighborhoods. Which is fine. This is fine. Jungkook is doing just fine.

 (Or: Jungkook adores everything about Namjoon except that the man can't catch a clue.)

Here Is What I Know by Oh_Hey_Tae

There are flowers growing on Namjoon’s arm. They aren’t real flowers, of course. That would be absurd. Impossible. Ridiculous. But Namjoon spends most of his lecture on Kant watching the garden of ink bloom on his skin, beginning at his pinkie and spreading across his wrist, trickling down to his elbow, curling up and around his bicep and out of sight under the sleeve of his shirt. Irises and peonies and roses and sunflowers. The girl who’s sitting beside him is staring, and when caught, gives Namjoon a bright-eyed grin before glancing back to the board. Namjoon spots a faded smiley face inked into the skin of her thumb, what looks to be a grocery list scrawled over the back of her hand. Notes or reminders from her soulmate maybe. Soulmates. Huh. It looks like Namjoon has one of those now.

try to resist, i still want it all by exarite

At first, Namjoon doesn’t think much of him.

He looks familiar, but he’s too far away for Namjoon to really see or scent out his dynamic. He’s cute, but Namjoon's not new to cute boys either. He's far too used to handsome, and pretty, and everything in between in the industry.

But then he stands up. Namjoon's eyes catch on the swell of his belly, and every nerve in his body lights up, his mind going blank, and—

Oh, he breathes. He's pregnant.

::

Namjoon fucks a pregnant Jungkook.

just let me adore you by elle_O_moonchild *

Rockstar omega Jungkook has never let an alpha tie him down. He was independent, and happy, and had no need for a domineering knothead to mess up his career and lifestyle.

But powerful and wealthy alpha Namjoon only wants to spoil the pretty omega rotten.

or

A smitten alpha Namjoon gets a weary omega Jungkook to go on a date with him and shows him just how good they can be together…

Jeon Jungkook/Kim Seokjin | Jin

more and more and more by moonsuns

"If you haven’t had sex by the time you’re twenty, then I’ll have sex with you. That way you’ll have a guaranteed end date for your virginity.”

“Do you promise, hyung?”

"I promise."

The problem was, Seokjin never expected to be called on it.

you shouldn't give it to me (good like that) by jamaisvore

opposites in the eyes of the media, but a perfect match in each other's arms.

or: supermodel!jk x rockstar!jin

Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Namjoon | RM

Pull Me Under by Oh_Hey_Tae

It’s been two weeks. Hoseok has managed to survive two weeks of Kim Namjoon’s progressively darkening thighs and his cheek craters and his swooshy hair and that stupid laugh he does that makes him sound like a bleating sheep.

Yoongi looks over his shoulder. Stares. Slowly draws his gaze back to Hoseok. “Are we discussing the same man who tried to brush his teeth with sunscreen yesterday?”

“Ew, he did that?”

“Your voice says that’s disgusting but your face says you’re enamored.”

Hoseok presses his palms against his eyes until he sees colored spots. “Make it stop, hyung.”

  (Or: Hoseok works at a summer resort and Namjoon is the newest lifeguard. Chaos ensues.)

fall underneath by crycoby

“Is this secretly about your huge crush on Namjoon?” Jimin asks, his fingers digging into the back of Hoseok’s neck in a way that is frankly criminal. “You know that if you like him, you’re going to have to be more direct. He doesn’t like to assume things about people and… He overthinks a lot,” he finally settles on diplomatically.

Hoseok groans, half because of the pressure and half because the idea of talking about this, about any of this, about any of the gnarled mess that is the clutch of Hoseok’s emotions in the knot of his chest, gives him hives.

//

hoseok could talk about his big messy feelings about namjoon, or he could talk around them instead and just hope for the best. yeah. that sounds good.

Methods of Mutual Stress Relief by Only_A_Fangirl

Hoseok cringes, “How weird would it be if I actually asked to jerk off in here with you?”

“Very,” Namjoon answers instantly.

Hoseok nods, “You can choose the porn.”

Namjoon blinks, “Are you for real?”

lyre lyre lyre by oliviacirce

Namjoo regrets every life choice that has led her here, to the hard wooden floor of this dance studio, where she's lying on her back like a beached whale.

Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Taehyung | V

the long and winding road by moonsuns

Hoseok is (basically) forced to go on vacation and leave his stressful idol life behind, at least for a little while. He wasn't expecting to find Taehyung, that's for sure. (He's glad he did, though.)

Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin

Procurement by FlyYouFools1 (WIP) *

Seokjin and Namjoon have waited decades for a little of their own. Taehyung just wants to pay for his little brother's education.

Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Taehyung | V

Dandelion Love (part of the (Not) Destined series) by almostsophie1

Taehyung is twenty-one when the word on his wrist turns ashen. The kind of love that soulmates share is forever out of reach.

(But enter one Kim Namjoon, who doesn't think the same.)

Kim Namjoon | RM/Min Yoongi | Suga

Bleeding Love by beebalm

Yoongi was already dressed and halfway to the door, nothing but a dry chuckle and a See you around when Namjoon asked for his number.

OR

It's not that Namjoon is hurt Yoongi only ever wanted him for a one night stand. And he doesn't have a crush. He just wishes they didn't have to keep seeing each other all the time.

Kim Namjoon | RM/Park Jimin

but i want it anyway by ameliabedelias *

Park Jimin’s roommate goes to study abroad for a semester. Kim Namjoon takes over the lease.

only lingering around you by moonsuns 

“I don't. I mean...this is going to sound awkward, but I’m...not really looking for a relationship right now.”

Namjoon considers, for a moment, elaborating and telling Jimin about everything with Hoseok, but there wouldn't be any point in that. And also, Namjoon is pretty sure that Jimin doesn't care about any of that anyway.

And he's right. At this, Jimin outright laughs. It isn’t a mean laugh, but Namjoon is pierced by the sound anyway. “Who said anything about a relationship, or even feelings? It’s just sex.”

Or, Namjoon and Jimin are friends with benefits.

Kim Seokjin | Jin/Min Yoongi | Suga

운명 (Fate) (part of the (Not) Destined series) by almostsophie1

Yoongi is part of that three percent population left without a soulmate word. It doesn't matter if he falls in love, because love isn't meant for people like him.

(Then he meets Seokjin.)

candy on my lips (part of the just desserts series) by moonbabie

Anonymous advice columnist and baby bi Kim Sujin meets queer club president Min Yoonji, and does the following: writes some cheesy advice columns, cuts her hair, and figures out her shit. (aka a queer romcom meets emotional constipation, self-discovery, and clueless wlw)

Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin

pull me closer in the backseat of your rover by moonsuns

Jimin had just wanted to get off. He didn't think he'd end up with a boyfriend at the end of it all.

Or, another friends with benefits AU.

Nip & Bloom by sugamongoose (WIP) *

The year is 2021, and yet traditional and oppressive views of alpha/omega relations run rampant in the Korean society. Unmated Park Jimin is placed in a government programme which pairs delinquent omegas with support mates to make them more comfortable in their submission. Jimin’s alpha for six months turns out to be Min Yoongi, a tiny music producer who wears fuzzy sweaters, and who won’t stop talking about his kitten Holly.

“You look like an omega,” Jimin blurts out. The strange alpha flashes him a smile that reveals the pink of his gums. “Is that something you prefer? I saw your file, and it said you identify as queer.” “Oh, you looked at my file just to see if I like to fuck other omegas? Knot swelling yet?”

POLY RELATIONSHIPS

OT7 - Relationship

indiscentsible by cloudyworld *

Jungkook had been a little disappointed when, after all the build-up and speculation, he'd presented as a beta. Betas are great! They play an important role in society: level-headed, big-picture thinkers, the solid foundation that holds everyone together. But that pull of instinct that comes with being an alpha or omega, the feeling of belonging... He was crushed at the thought he might never get to have that.

In a pack with three alphas and three omegas already, presenting beta was a gift; Jungkook learns to see that too.

Precious Mettle by glitterandgilt (WIP) *

Jin loved his nest. He'd built it very carefully from the ground up. Spent centuries on selecting the individuals he wanted to spend the rest of his immortal life with. He was proud of his nest and protected it with a possessive love that rivaled a dragon's guard on their trove.

Jin didn't get the chance to go through that evaluation process with his newest treasure. But he would never let it go.

Or

When Jin's blood is stolen and used to sire a new fledgling, Jin has two choices: to ignore the strands of magic binding him to his new childe, or to lay claim to another jewel for his collection. He chooses the latter and drags his entire nest into a situation none of them were anticipating.

Kim's Seven by Gobi17 (WIP) *

Jungkook, 17 year old YouTuber, is in awe of the 6 hot boys who have adopted him online.

Bangtan are a dangerous group of vigilantes who seize the opportunity to kidnap the stepson of their latest target.

Found Kin by Adaptive_Artist (WIP)

Jungkook is starving. Food doesn't make anything better, and his teeth ache like someone is hammering on them. He thought he was cursed. Turns out he's a hatchling kin, and is now the precious baby of the renowned Kim nest. He's also growing little fangs.

Huh.

love bites (series) by feraljk (WIP) 

Summary from the first fic:

newly-turned vampire jungkook still has a lot to learn, but his hyungs are there to help him. taehyung enlists yoongi and jin to teach the fledgling how to teethe and helps him discover how much of a bonding activity teething can be.

or: trans koo and tae teeth on their hyungs and also come

Isn't it lovely? (all alone) by hopefully2020

At age eighteen, all citizens are given a concentration that will determine their fields of study. A small empty square on their wrist will gain a color corresponding to their skill set. Everyone’s fear is that their square color is black, meaning they are destined for a life of crime. When Jungkook turns eighteen, he waits anxiously for his square to gain color, only to be presented with a blank square. He is shunned by his family, having to struggle through high school while trying to figure out what to do for the rest of his life. Jungkook's life gets flipped upside down on the day of his twenty-first birthday when the store he works at is robbed with Jungkook at the cash register. Fearing for his life he believes he is going to die, only to be saved by a figure in black with a mask covering his face. To make things even worse, Jungkook suddenly becomes the target of one of the largest drug syndicates, solely because of his new connection to his savior and five other men who turn out to be the biggest crime lords in Seoul. What happens then, you ask? Well, then the blank world Jungkook always saw starts to drip with black, just a little bit.

blueberry peaches (a serendipitous summer) by elle_O_moonchild (WIP)

Jungkook spends a life changing summer working at a beachside car wash and meets 6 new lovers who change his heart and life forever.

Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Namjoon | RM 

Falling For an Alien From Amalthea 5 by Pyotr_Keats78 (WIP)

Jungkook has been in and out of the hospital for years with various medical problems. Eventually, his heart becomes so weak that no human medicine can save him. Believing he will die never having come out as trans to anyone, he gives up. That is until his brother Jimin tells him, “You have two choices, Jungah: you can stay here in this hospital and get high every day until your heart fails you, or you can go to Amalthea, grow a parasite, and live.”

Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin

Mentoring on Marsa by FlyYouFools1

Jungkook comes to the planet Marsa after being promised a full scholarship to Marsa National University. When the scholarship falls through, his academic advisor gives him the number for a mentoring service for newly stranded omegas on Marsa. With rent due, no way home, and no success in finding a job, Jungkook calls the number. The organization sends him Min Yoongi, a fellow omega who's been living on Marsa for 8 years. Yoongi teaches him how to survive. Jungkook's first attempt at survival is alpha couple Jimin and Taehyung.

Features: Yoongi doing his best to teach Jungkook how to manage handsy alphas, handsy alphas (like all of them are touchy) taking liberties with omega protagonists, and my best attempt at writing problematic but entertaining sex. A lot of fluff too, actually. The alphas are fluffy as hell with the omegas, and pamper them a lot, even though their actual behavior is wrong.

Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V/Min Yoongi | Suga

November (series) by cuttothequickk 

Summary from the first fic: 

Sometimes, Jeongguk gets so lonely he doesn't even feel alone anymore. He's practicing, and he's very good at it. Loneliness. Being alone. It's blustery cold, and the leaves are falling from the branches of trembling trees, and Jeongguk is alone in a big city, shivering without a jacket, trying desperately to keep himself warm.

There is no one, and then there is someone. Two someones. The lovely winter boys from Daegu, Taehyung and Yoongi, opposites and equals, so loving and in love.

It would be ridiculous, really, if Jeongguk didn't fall for them, too.

Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Namjoon | RM/Min Yoongi | Suga

how, or when, or from where by moonsuns

“Stop calling it my quest,” Namjoon whines, and Hoseok laughs.

“You’re the one that said it first.”

“I was drunk.”

“Well, the bad thing about going out with people, is that you can’t take back the stupid shit you said when you were drunk. Especially when they’re way less drunk than you.”

Or, after Namjoon almost dies, he decides to go on a quest to live his best life, and takes Yoongi and Hoseok along for the ride.

(* Personal favorites)

MASTERPOST FIC RECS PART 1

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

A Failed Betrothal (Part 3)

There were a lack of stuff to read so I posted this instead.

[Masterlist]

(Part 1)(Part 2)

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PART 3

The next day was weird to say the least for everyone but for Marinette, it was another can of worms that she wished she didn’t open. For one thing, Chat Noir’s feelings obsession for Ladybug switched from one black-haired girl to another which unfortunately was Ladybug’s civilian form. Which meant Marinette had to deal with Adrien’s Chat-Noir-level flirting and bad pick-up lines.

Perfect, just perfect.

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Everyone thought that a declaration speech of ‘being soulmates and the only one for him’ in front of the whole class from the ‘love of your life’ would warrant a ‘blushing to death and stammering’ or ‘outright fainting’. Not a facepalm, a groan, “Why me?” and a “I am sorry but NO. I don’t feel the same way about you”. Marinette vaguely wondered if there was some kind of rule for interesting events and confrontations to happen during lunch break while the class waits for Mme Bustier to start the lessons.

Marinette went to sit in her seat next to Chloe in the back row where she and her friends had been exiled to. The class was in stunned silence and questioning about whether or not they had fallen into an alternate universe or dreaming. Nathaniel and Alix tried to hide their snickers. Chloe just started outright laughing, turning very red in the face.

Marinette felt a nudge from Plagg in her bag. Looking down, she saw them holding up her phone to show Lila’s gaping face of horror with a wicked smug grin on their face. She looked through the photos to see everyone’s faces of confusion and shock at her rejection. Eyes wide and jaws dropped on the ground. Different shots of her classmates in the same state. She smirked and showed them to Chloe who calmed down enough, letting out the occasional giggles and took the phone with glee.

“Thank you, Plagg. Here you go.” she whispered, giving them a camembert macaron.(Tom had started experimenting with camembert in his recipes. Plagg is his first taste tester for all of them, making Tom one of Plagg’s favourite people.)

Adrien didn’t take the rejection very well.

“But we are meant to be. You are a designer and I am a model. Our partnership is the one to be envied by many for the ages.”

“And by that logic,” The designer turned to her main model for her MDC website, “Chloe, my love, will you be my one and only? For our love shines so bright ,paralleled only by a thousand suns.” Using the same voice Plagg does when they go on one of their love odes about camembert before losing her straight face and giggling.(Plagg doesn’t know whether to be offended or amused.)

Setting Chloe’s laughter off again. “Mariiiii,...stop….I can’t..*gasps*....I can’t…”

Nathaniel and Alix, finally lost control and joined Chloe in death by laughter. Adrien was flustered, turning red in the face either from anger, embarrassment or both.

“But Chloe isn’t a model.”

Marinette decided to put a stop to this, just on the off chance that Gabriel finally decides to akumatized his own son. She recomposed herself.

“She is the main model for my website and we have a partnership. You, however, work for your father. So does Miss Rossi. Does that sound like the partnership to be envied by many for the ages? Hmmm, Agreste? Anyways, like I said before, I have no interest in dating you.”

“Why not? We are friends and sometimes, friends like each other enough to date each other.” Adrien angrily asked.

“Because-”

“Because, Adrikins,” Chloe cuts in, “friends having to date because one of them is interested in something more makes no sense and is fucked-up. Marinette doesn’t owe you anything. Besides, she already has a long distance boyfriend who lives in America.”

“WHAT!?” Adrien shouted.

“What?!” The class had snapped out of their stupor. Since when had Marinette gotten over Adrien and had a boyfriend?

“What?” Marinette looked at Chloe with wide-eyes. Last she checked she was still single so what the hell was Chloe playing at. For Kwami’s sake, she hadn’t been on a date since the one with Luka which went awkwardly before they agreed that they think of each other as siblings and it will be best to stay that way.

Chloe gave her a look that said ‘I will explain later.’

“Oh yes, they met online a few months ago and now they are all lovey-dovey together. It’s just so ridiculous, so utterly ridiculous how disgustingly in love they are. They have video call dates at least once a week and somehow make it work despite the time differences. He once came all the way to Paris just to see her. He brought her some special flowers that apparently meant-”

Marinette slapped her hand over Chloe’s mouth. “Well, Chloe, Queenie, as much as I love you as my friend, you can stop gushing about my love life now. Because class is about to start.”

She said through gritted teeth as Mme Bustier finished taking her sweet time and walked in. Sadly, Alya wasn’t done with the conversation ,“Wait a minute, since when did Chloe and you become close enough that she is modeling for you? And a boyfriend? Why didn’t you tell me, Girl? I thought we were friends. What about Adrien, he just confessed to you and you had been crushing on him for so long” Many girls gasped, angry that Alya broke the unspoken girl code.

“You have a crush on me?” Adrien looked hopeful. Like a lost kitten that had been stuck in the rain, was let into someone’s home.

“I had a crush on you,” Marinette corrected him, emphasising on the past tense, “and Alya had no business of sharing that information to the entire world despite us not being friends anymore.” She glared at the journalist who at least looked ashamed.

“You wanted to date Kagami so I moved on.”

One of the reasons anyway. I found out that you were my partner who had no concept of boundaries. You are a coward who only wants to maintain the class peace at the price of my mental health, she thought.

“Instead of continuing to pursue you.” She hoped the ever dense and oblivious model would get the hint she gave him. Tikki ,just this once, Grant me that ladybug luck.

“And Mme Bustier, it is time to start the lessons, don’t you think? Instead of focusing on the class drama to gossip about later on.” Marinette glared at the teacher, reminding her to do her job.

“Oh. Right.” Mme Bustier tried to regain her ‘perfect teacher’ image after getting embarrassed at being caught, “Right. Class, turn to page-”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as the bell rang for the end of school, Marinette dragged Chloe all the way to her room. Alix and Nathaniel followed them because as far as they know, Marinette had no boyfriends and they were as curious to find out what scheme Chloe had cooked up this time. They were as complicated and crazy as Ladybug’s. No offense, Marinette.

“Okay, Queenie, you have to explain why I now have a devoted American boyfriend who I am so in love with.” Marinette crossed her arms with a frown aimed at Chloe. The kwamis got out of their respective hiding places and went to the tray of food set out for them.

The trapdoor to her room opened, revealing the rest of their friend group before Chloe said anything.

“Did we miss anything?” Kagami asked as Longg and Sass joined the other kwamis.

“Juleka said something about an American boyfriend and how he sounds so romantic. Does that have to do anything with the text Alix sent us to come here?” Luka added.

“To recap, Adrien made a love confession to Marinette,” Alix started, biting into some of the delicious pastries the Dupain-Chengs gave them, ”in front of the entire class after an entire day of flirting and bad pick-up lines.”

“Wow, even after having his memories erased of being Chat Noir, he is still after Ladybug.” Luka chuckled, with the others joining in.

Marinette whined, “It was easier when he was Chat Noir. But now as Adrien Agreste, teen heartthrob, it is going to be much more difficult to get into his thick head that I don’t see him that way and it is going to get harder, now that Alya outed my old crush to him.”

“Oof. Sucks to be you.”

“So, our Mari-bug rejected him. He threw a tantrum and sulked, so like Chat Noir, how did we not notice?,” Alix continued, “After demanding reasons why they can’t date, Chloe gave Marinette an American boyfriend who she was in a long-distance relationship with. Speaking of, why did you do that?”

“I have known Adrik- Adrien since we were in diapers and I know how that mangy cat works. He grew up on Disney and had all those fairytales stuffed into his head. If you had told him that you were just not interested in dating at the moment, it won’t work because he will try his hardest to ‘woo’ you, because he still has a chance. He won’t push his luck as much if you were off the market.” Chloe explained.

“I am sure that, judging by the fact that Chat Noir still tries to date Ladybug despite her saying she is in love with someone, Adrien might try to get more proof of this boyfriend to make sure Marinette is just not pretending to have one.” Kagami pointed out.

“Ahh, but luckily I have a back-up plan. I have a friend, Tim Drake. We met at a few galas when we were younger and kept in touch. He also owes me a favor.”

“I hope this Tim Drake is cute.”

“He is and he’s older than you by two years and,” Chloe typed something on her phone, “A fellow caffeine addict so you can bond over that. Here’s a picture of him and his brother.”

On her phone were two extremely attractive and fit young men dressed in expensive suits at what looked like a gala, the older one had a charming polite smile with bright blue eyes, looking somewhat interested at what someone off-screen was saying despite looking like he will fall over any moment. His brother, however, looked like he would rather be anywhere but where he was. He was tanned and had green eyes that promised murder for daring to even breathe in his direction. Marinette noticed that he looked a little familiar but she can’t place why.

“Tim is the one that looks like he hasn’t slept in days and that’s his brother Damian next to him.”

“Wait a minute. That’s Tim Drake and Damian Wayne. The sons of Bruce Wayne, the billionaire co-CEO of Wayne Industries, which Tim Drake is also co-CEO of.” Nathaniel said with wide eyes and looked at Chloe, “You are using your favor to give our Mari here a fake boyfriend.”

“Of course, only the best for our Mari-bug.”

“Chloe, no, he is probably busy as he is with running the company. No need to get him involved in petty teenage drama.” No matter how much she doesn’t want to date Adrien, bothering a busy guy to be her fake boyfriend is not worth it in Marinette’s opinion. Which, of course, gets overruled by the overprotectiveness of her friends.

“I, for one, think this is one of Chloe’s better plans.” Kagami commented, the others agreeing with her. Traitors.

“Hey!” Chloe exclaimed, an offended look on her face, “Anyways, I will call him later.”

“Children, you better go home now before your parents worry.” Sabine’s voice came from below, “Remember we are also going through some drills tonight so try not to be late.” Having a former assassin for a mother is handy when you want to train a team of teenage superheroes.

“Bye, guys. See you later.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Just because you have been trained since birth does not excuse you from the drills. You also need to get used to the black cat.” Lady Mǔ lǎohǔ reprimanded her with her arms crossed. When Ladybug started her new team, she was the first permanent member but as the team got bigger, she stepped back to be back-up and mentor for the team.

“Yes, Maman, I know but I am nearly finished with this commission. I will catch up with you later. Promise.” Marinette stretched, looking up from her latest project. Plagg was napping in the little basket she had made for all the kwamis to sleep in which fit all of them and had some extra space for Nooroo and Dusuu after they had been retrieved.

The reason she had Plagg instead of Tikki who was with Alix was because of the new tactic the Miraculous Team came up with. To keep the balance the Ladybug and Black Cat must be active at the same time but with Adrien gone, someone must wield the ring until a new permanent holder is found and it was not a good idea for both of them to be on the same person at the same time. The team decided to rotate using the earrings and ring between them with Marinette using other miraculouses when the others have them. It also had the added bonus of making it harder for Hawkmoth to find out who has them at any given time.

“See you later, 灵儿 (líng er, means intelligence). I will give you 15 minutes but that’s it. Don’t be late.” Sabine sighed and got out the skylight and went towards the safehouse where the Miraculous team met to get training. (It is one of Sabine’s emergency safehouse to use in times of emergency and it had the required space to train 6 teenagers. Chat Noir never came to training, lazy cat.)

Marinette never made it to the warehouse.

Because a few minutes after her mother left, the skylight opened to let in five figures dressed in dark colours to easily blend into the shadows like they were trained to be. Too bad they weren’t as quiet. Marinette immediately summoned a bo-staff to defend herself.

One of them lunged at her and she retaliated by hitting the end of her staff to their middle, coupled with a couple more blows and landed one that knocked them out. The others threw throwing stars which she dodged by jumping back. Which landed her to be trapped by the two assassins, whom she didn’t notice, had moved. She cursed in every language she knew as she struggled against them. It led to no avail as she was badly out-numbered. There was a prick on her head and her world went black.

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Plagg awoke to a loud commotion. Irritated, they poked their head out to see their new temporary kit knocked out, tied up and hauled away. Recognizing the kidnappers as assassins of the League of Shadows, they scowled. Ra’s Al Ghul was going to pay.

Plagg may not act like it much but the black kwami was patient and smart. Smart enough to leave a note with an explanation somewhere visible with the messy aftermath of a fight before trailing the assassins. Oh, Roarr’s tiger was going to be pissed once she found out what happened. Wherever they were taking Marinette, it would be best to have a kwami of destruction to help her escape. The night made Plagg almost invisible and allowed to move unseen. They caught up easily and hid in their holder’s midnight hair. Now, their patience came into play. It was a matter of waiting for the right moment to pounce.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tag list: @alysrose-starchild, @buginetye, @lookatthestars1, @blackroserelina, @macncheesemonster, @mochinek0, @myazael, @tonicxworld, @thewitchwhowaited, @t1dwarrior-of-earth, @kissa-chan, @iwantasecretidentity, @theymakeupfairies, @user00000003, @woe-is-me0, @kashlyn, @mochegato,@moonlightstar64 , @greatcatblaze, @moongoddesskiana, @tazanna-blythe. @tonicxworld, @toodaloo-kangaroo, @frieddonutsweets, @local-witch-of-mn, @lady-bee-fechin, @iglowinggemma28, @indecisive-mess-named-me, @k-tea-and-coffee, @jayjayspixiepop

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(Part 4)

[wallflowerimagines]

Hi! if your not busy or backed up could you do the four lords( and possibly the dimitrescu daughters totally cool if you dont) helping a s/o who's stressed about starting college

I'm cracking my knuckles right now. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!

Warning: Some unhealthy behaviors? You call these dorks out on it though.

Alcina Dimitrescu

Initially, you're stoked! College is a big deal for anyone at any age, and you're thrilled to check off this box on your list of accomplishments. It's a big deal!

A...really, really big deal...

Your internal monologue becomes a mess of "Oh god, oh fuck, oh no", on loop, ad infinitum. There's a lot to consider here, and with every new thought you just get even more stressed.

The minute Alcina sees you in this state, she pulls you in for a hug, plays with your hair, and talks you through your feelings. Do you really want to go to college, or do you feel forced into it? Are you worried about the distance? The amount of work? Do you want her to hire tutors instead?

She very much takes a logical, structured approach to addressing your worries. If it's a problem with paperwork, she can have someone handle it for you. If it's general stress she very efficiently talks you through your feelings. If there's someone in particular that's making you feel this stressed, they'll just disappear. No muss, no fuss.

Alcina dissects any possible reasoning you might have to be pressured until it's such a non-issue you feel almost silly for being panicked at all.

Still, she promises to call you every day, if you need her. Honestly, she expects you to call as often as possible, because she's going to miss you like crazy. But she will always be there for you, Darling. Don't you ever worry about that.

Donna Beneviento

College? You're leaving? 🥺

Donna's not trying to guilt you, but the thought of being away from you for an extended period of time is extremely stressful. It's not quite separation anxiety, but it's close.

Something might happen to you if you're away from the Manor for too long! What if you need help and she can't get to you? What if someone tries to hurt you? Donna might be sheltered, but she's heard things about what happens at Colleges, and not all of it is good.

Considering the fact you're also stressed about this situation, it's not a great combination. Both of you are very emotional at the moment, so there's a likelihood that this might cause one or both of you to have a little breakdown.

Instead of your normal fun, relaxing nights together, the lead up to your departure gives your nights a different atmosphere. You're on the floor of the sitting room, sifting through paperwork with a devastated look on your face, while Donna is nearby and trying hard to pretend this isn't happening.

One of you is going to break first, and the confrontation is not going to be pretty or easy. It's a build up of a bunch of emotion, and both of you just sob while holding each other tightly. You vent your worries to Donna, and she explains her concerns to you, and while you guys might not solve all of those dilemmas in one night, both of you do feel better after having explained your anxieties to each other. Communication is key for this to work out, and both of you need comforting.

Donna winds up building you a brand new doll with a piece of her Cadou in it. It's a new member of the family, specifically crafted to keep an eye on you and help you two communicate over long distances. If something goes wrong, or you two miss each other so badly you can't stand it anymore, you two talk through this new friend and immediately feel connected. The distance doesn't feel so great anymore <3

Salvatore Moreau

HYPED! (Devastated)

Moreau adores you, and he is so, so happy you're going to go pursue your dreams. He can't wait to hear about all the things you've experienced, all the people you meet...

You're going to make tons of new friends, he just knows it!

(You're going to meet someone else, someone better, and you're going to leave him. He just knows it. )

Moreau will never tell you how he really feels about you leaving. You could have a full blown panic attack, and he will hold you close, comfort you, reassure you, and do his absolute best to make you feel better. Meanwhile he is absolutely trying to bury the fact that he thinks you're going to meet your perfect partner at college, abandon him, and live your own version of happily ever after.

It might sound silly to you, but it's a genuine concern for him. He's a monster, and you're about to leave to spend time with a bunch of normal people. As he holds you close and convinces you that the things you're stressed about are easily solvable and are tasks that he could help you with, internally he's absolutely convinced that once you leave, you're going to find your soulmate on campus.

The last thing he wants to do is add to your stress, so unless you can read him well, it's likely you'll never know how worried he is. He's so focused on comforting you and making sure you feel confident enough to handle your next adventure that his own worries take a backseat.

He'll be less concerned if you call him and tell him about your day. It reassures him that you love him, even from afar, and his own stress dissolves when you start to ramble about how much you miss him. 💕

Karl Heisenberg

It's cute that you think you're leaving him behind.

You two are a team, did you seriously expect that he'd be alright with you leaving? With you trying to go to a campus where he can't get to you if something goes wrong?

Heisenberg reacts like an upset pet or a clingy child when it comes to the idea of you leaving for college. He knows it's not forever, and he knows you're coming back--that's not his problem.

His problem is the fact that you're leaving at all.

You two are partners-- a perfect match. He's had this idea in his head ever since you both became a couple that the two of you would hardly ever be apart. Now that you're going to be out of his sight for longer than a week? It's preemptively triggering separation anxiety. He's not happy.

He genuinely tries to get you to take exclusively online courses if you aren't already, just so that you stay with him.

He's so consumed by the concept that you'll be away from him that it takes a while for it to click that, uh, this attitude of his? Not helpful.

You're twice as stressed as you were before, and now you're also angry at Heisenberg for pulling all of this childish nonsense. You love him, but he's being an incredibly insensitive dumbass, and you've got to call him on it.

Phones exist. Skype exists. Hell, the two of you can write letters to each other if you want. It's not like he won't ever get to talk to you! All he's doing is adding to your stress and making you feel worse about a big decision that you've already made, and that's not okay! If he's supposed to be your "perfect match", why isn't he being more supportive?

That snaps him right out of it. While Karl still sulks a bit, he puts on his big boy pants and gives you a proper apology.

Once he's got his head on straight, he's very good at helping you through your worries. Heisenberg will massage your shoulders, talk you through any paperwork you might be having trouble with, and helps you triple check your to-do list. He loves you, and always wants to help, but sometimes he gets carried away.

Just...promise to visit often, alright? He's gonna miss you. 💕

Bela Dimitrescu

Jealous. As. Hell.

She doesn't openly make it obvious, but you know her. You know Bela's little mannerisms and tells, and it's obvious to you that the eldest daughter of the Dimitrescu clan wants to go to college along with you. Unfortunately, due to the fact that she can't easily travel, she can't come along.

It's... not a great situation, considering you're so stressed. You're worried about admissions, being accepted into the classes you need, your curriculum, but Bela doesn't try to comfort you. Instead, she sulks in the background.

Eventually, this blows up between the both of you. You're upset and angry that Bela isn't being more supportive, and Bela is angry that you're the one who gets such an incredible opportunity to leave and explore the world while she's stuck in Dimitrescu Castle.

Why are you stressed? It's an amazing opportunity, it doesn't make sense that you're so worried!

...She's so harsh about it that you might start crying, at which point Bela realizes that she might have fucked up. The last thing she wants to do is hurt your feelings, so she'll pull you into a hug and immediately babble apologies until she's blue in the face.

Once you calm down, you're going to have to explain that just because it looks and sounds fun, College does have challenges of its own. The idea that you get to go learn all sorts of things isn't sunshine and roses--there's a lot of pressure to do well.

Bela is a little quiet after that, but you notice she's much more supportive. She starts to treat your worries more seriously, and even will go to Alcina to try to get some advice on how to help you.

She's still a little envious, but she hides it better now. The last thing that Bela wants to do is stress you out right before you leave. She loves you, and wants your last memories before you go to be positive and something happy that you can look back on when you're away.

Cassandra Dimitrescu

Thrilled for you!

College sounds so exciting! She honestly desperately wants to go with you, but due to the composition of her body, she can't exactly leave the Castle.

She winds up asking you all sorts of questions, following you through the hallways, wondering how you feel about leaving to a brand new place, with brand new people, all of the classes you're going to take....

...It really doesn't help with the anxiety. Cassandra won't leave you alone, and is so fixated on asking you all these questions that it actually makes you worry about things that you hadn't even considered before. What if you hate your Major? What if your professors turn out to be terrible?

Instead of your cheerful responses from before, you start to shut down at all of the questions. Cassandra quickly cues into the fact that something is wrong, and when she asks, all of your worries come pouring out.

Immediately, she pulls you into a hug and apologizes. She didn't mean to stress you out at all, she just wanted to share the experience with you!

Once the two of you clear the air, though? She cracks her knuckles and goes full bookworm.

Cassandra's...not great at staying focused, but she does have a few tips and tricks that she shares with you if it helps.

She also is really great at finding resources that might help you out. Despite her issues focusing on anything other than non-fiction, she does know her way around a library, and will pull any and all reference texts about what you might be studying while you're away.

By the time you're ready to leave Castle Dimitrescu, you've got two years worth of knowledge packed into your head, an optimally organized suitcase, and a lingering kiss from your girlfriend that makes it hard to worry about anything else 💕💕💕

Daniela Dimitrescu

...doesn't handle it well at all.

Daniela doesn't want you to leave. It doesn't matter the situation, it doesn't matter what the context is, you're her partner in crime and she refuses to let you go.

In fact, she tries to sabotage your efforts to leave.

It starts small. Your suitcases mysteriously unpack themselves in the middle of the night. Important papers keep going missing, and you have to reprint a lot of documentation. Your phone disappears for hours at a time.

When all you do is grumble and fix what she's messed with, she gets angrier and escalates. Your laptop goes missing. Your textbooks disappear. You start to question where you left your keys, because they seem to move around the room without your input.

Meanwhile, Daniela is being passive aggressive any time you bring up college. She refuses to talk about it at all with you, and acts like you're not even leaving.

It all comes to a head one day when you burst into tears from all the added stress. This is so, so important to you, and not only are you not getting any help or comfort from your partner, but all of your stuff is going missing!

Daniela immediately feels terrible. As much as she didn't want you to go, the last thing she ever wanted to do was make you cry.

She's not super emotionally mature, so while she comforts you, she has a group of flies separate from the rest and bring back all of your things. You figure it out an call her on it, but she actually looks on the verge of tears herself as she explains to you why she did it. She's so, so sorry, but she doesn't want you to go! She loves you!

You two have a long talk about why this isn't cute, funny or acceptable, no matter her feelings. You might even bring Alcina in on it, just in case. Still, the two of you do work through it, and while Daniela isn't the best with helping with general prep, puts 100% into keeping your mood high.

With time, she finds herself... well not okay with it, but she can now tolerate the idea. As long as you talk to her every day!

(And yes, she calls you multiple times a day when you're gone. Alcina eventually caves and gets her a phone, just so she isn't constantly using the line that Mother Miranda uses to check up on the Castle. The two of you talk so often you barely even have time to miss her💕)

[suguruverse]

hi!! i really loved your "being best friends with the inarizaki trio" and i was wondering if you could do a "being best friends with tanaka and nishinoya". thank you!!!!

— BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH TANAKA AND NISHINOYA

includes - nishinoya yuu and tanaka ryuunosuke

a/n - hi bub!! i’m so happy you liked my post about being bsfs w the inarizaki trio pls enjoy <33

google search bar: ‘define loud and annoying”

- a pic of your guys showed up <3

- jesus christ these boys are so protective over you it’s crazy

- 2 hype men for the price of 1

- sneaking out and getting food with them at 2am

- tutoring them so they can go to training camps

- YALL BITE EACH OTHER SO MUCH its basically yalls love language

- they literally start complaining if you don’t go to their games

- they always fight over who’s spare jersey you should wear

- one time you got a jersey that had ‘9′ on it because it was their numbers but added together but they misunderstood and thought you were supporting kageyama

- kageyama was so confused why his upperclassmen where glaring at him whenever he entered a room

- tanaka and noya forced kageyama to buy them meat buns after practice

- poor bby was so lost but he still did it anyways

- they think you look hot when you’re mad

- so. many. petnames.

- like at this point they don’t ever call you by your real name

- feeling insecure? sad? lonely? yeah not on their watch

- be prepared for cuddles, snacks and hugs galore

- if you’re crying they do 2 things:

1. threatens whoever or whatever made you cry no matter what is

2. hold you so tightly and declare their undying love for you and maybe a lil forehead kisses

- MOVIE NIGHTS EVERY WEEKEND

- scares you as much as they can because they love your reactions

- they take up 80% of your free time because they insist that you can’t handle being without them

- one time you cancelled on them to hang out with saeko for a girl’s day and 20 minutes into your shopping trip you saw them running straight towards you

- you tried to run away but you were outnumbered </3

- always sharing snacks at the back of the classroom

- they always tell you to stay away from other boys because they’re gross and don’t deserve you

- but if you do get a boyfriend, 9 times out of time, they would hate him

- to them, you’re their soulmate, bestfriend and everything in between

- and this musty boy thinks he’s good enough for you? no <3

- they’re the type of people to give backhanded compliments 

- but they never take it too far because this is still the person you chose and they SOMETIMES respect that

- but if a miracle happens and they do actually like your partner then prepared to be teased 24/7 (as if you don’t already get teased)

- also for some reason if they ever post chaotic groups pics of you guys and they tag you? it’s not even in you, it’s on their buttcheek

- ceos of platonic flirting and i love yous

- at the end of the day, they are the most loyal, loving and supportive best friends you’ll ever have

- pls their comments on your ig posts *chefs kiss*

- its always them hyping you up

your comment section:

okay best friend, get it i guess

marry me??

please step on me i would do anything

LICK ME TEASE ME TOUCH ME FUCK ME

for any of the boys in this comment section. go choke they’re mine 😋

did you take my hoodie?

choke me

lol sit on my face

YEAH THATS MY BEST FRIEND YALL SUCK IT

gc name: soulmate shit *insert lip bite emoji* anyways this is a convo before a party

noya; hey hotties

tanaka; i just took a massive dump and i think i just lost 10 kilos

noya; what’s it like being a fucking idiot NOW WHERES MY BABY 😩🥰

tanaka; i thought i was your baby

noya; no ❤️

noya; babe

noya; my dear

noya; my love

noya; honey

noya; cupcake

noya; my sweet pea

noya; schnookums

tanaka; sweetheart please just answer

you; i have arisen from the dead

tanaka; lol same what are y’all wearing send pics

*the three of you guys send pics*

you; TWINS

noya; TWINS

tanaka; TWINS

noya; babe

you; yesss

noya; WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE LOOKING SO DAMN FINE ALL THE TIME

tanaka; she’s even wearing the necklace we got for their bday 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

you; you guys like or should i change??

tanaka; pump ya brakes do not change you’ll be doing everyone a favour by blessing them with your looks 😌😌

noya; bubs pls don’t. we get free drinks when you dress sexy 😾

you; i gotchu

tanaka; glad doing business with you 🤝

noya; we on our way now angel

you; okay see you soon bubba 🥰

noya; KENSKDKWHEIDNEOWJ

noya; okay see you

[eggwatchi]

The Astrological Houses Challenge part 7/12

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* The Seventh House of Twelve *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

THE SEVENTH HOUSE

"The seventh House is sometimes referred to as the House of marriage, but it encompasses all one-to-one relationships: marriage, business partnerships, contracts, cooperative relationships, and also divorce, separation, quarrels, open enemies, and law suits."

Since the 7th house is a comfortable place for Libra energy, and Libra is ruled by Venus, our heir will be influenced the same way. This adds themes of being fair, charming, romantic and indecisive.

Traits: Outgoing, Snob, Squeamish +Vegetarian (See Mod Addon's in image or Optional Mods at the bottom of this post)

Aspiration: Soulmate

Career: Law (judge branch) (base game-business-management branch)

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Read more about this sim and challenge below! ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

What Will Their Life Be Like?

You're playing as a sim who's life revolves around partnership, the good and the bad.

Your upbringing taught you a lot, it made you the sim you are today! You appreciate what your parent did for you, even though you've seen them make very hard decisions that also impacted you! They singlehandedly kept your environment and food pristine, even though they were running on such little free time. Because you were a bit lonely as a kid, you're never usually single or at least without a friend by your side now. You think life is better in pairs. You’re charming, beautiful and a little picky about food after what you've been taught. Everything seems perfect when you fall for a coworker. You're partners in everything, including work, parenting, and even your own business! But soon life takes a turn, and you learn even the best of partnerships can have impactful separations that will have generational effects!

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GOALS

You may use family money or freerealestate to purchase a house in a new world

Obtain the death flower from your parent, pass it on to one of your children ASAP.

Be roommates with your BFF until you get engaged/married to someone else

Marry a sim in the same career, this sim should own a large house that you will move to now and have the commitment issues trait (you can cheat these things)

Buy a business together (Get To Work required)

Complete Up to Love Handler or part 3 of your aspiration

Have only two children

Catch your spouse cheating and forgive them/work it

Have 5+ Business lunches or meals with co-workers

You fall in love with another coworker while married

Divorce your first spouse after you’re tired of their cheating. Everything is split, if you keep the child with the death flower in their inventory, you also keep the business, but lose the house and the other child. If you keep the child without the death flower, you keep the house but lose the business and the other child.

Become enemies with your first spouse

Marry your BFF, and complete your aspiration with them.

Plan weekly Date nights for whatever partner you’re with

Gain the Hungry For Love Lifestyle (base-game be in a romantic relationship and/or use romance options on other Sims a lot.)

Purchase Great Kisser Reward trait

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OPTIONAL ASPECTS

SPECIAL COLOUR: Blue and Lavender

APPEARANCE: Symmetrical Face, Plump/Curvy Body, Attractive, Wears Copper or Opal Jewellery,

REQUIRED GENETICS/SPOUSE: Sharp Features, Prominent Nose, Thick Brows, Hypnotic Eyes

THE NEXT HEIR: Welcomed in the Fall

DEATH: "Apparently it is possible to overdo it. This Sim did it to death. Elders who WooHoo too often may die of overexertion."

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CREDITS

A lot of my info is from The Only Astrology Book You Will Ever Need

My House Descriptions are based on Astro Library

The cute Astrology wheel I am using DearHoroscope

The constellations: Icon Finder

Inspiration: I was watching this youtube video by Rosebud when they mentioned a Zodiac Legacy Challenge by Cowplant-Pizza!

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OPTIONAL MODS:

Small Vegetarian Overhaul By Robin allows you to simply click your sim and choose "become a vegetarian" rather than using a trait slot

The Personality Mod By MissyHissy allows you to make this sim a Romance Sim with a custom reward trait

The Zodiac Signs Mod By Radiophobe allows you to make this Sim a Libra with a custom reward trait

[nat-20s]

Part 5 of Wonderful! Au. *boyband voice* banter’s back alright!

Also on AO3

~*~

Jon: Hello everyone, and welcome back to our regular format. If my husband being horribly soppy-

Martin:-hey!-

Jon: -turned you off the how, this should be a refreshing return to formula, though I can’t guarantee there won’t be further horrible soppiness-

Martin, performatively under his breath: -most people thought it was charming-

Jon: -as that tends to happen when one is recording with the love of their life. If last week’s episode is the only one that you like, too bad, I’m back in full form, and should be at least through the rest of the season.

Martin: This show doesn’t have seasons? Due to the whole lack of a narrative thing?

Jon: I was referring to spring.

Martin: Oh, right.

[A beat passes.]

Martin, flatly: Oh. Great goof hon.

Jon, smug: Thank you.

Jon, sincere: Also, before we get properly started, I did want to actually thank everyone who sent well wishes.

M artin: Yes! We got positively inundated with lovely messages, it definitely brightened both of our days. I would even say it was wonderful.

[Jon groans.]

Jon: I am..not proud of the energy we’ve created for this episode so far, and we haven’t even hit the small wonders. Speaking of, do you have a small wonder this week?

Martin: Mine’s bad action movies.

Jon: Really? I had no idea you even liked them, let alone consider them wonderful.

Martin: Okay, so, saying I like them is a bit of a misnomer? It’s more that I like what they can do more than the movies themselves?

Jon: Elaborate?

Martin: It probably comes as a surprise to no one that I’ve tried my hand at a fair amount of mindfulness and mediation techniques. I’ve found poetry and journaling have been helpful for actually processing life events and whatnot, but when it comes to giving your brain a hard wipe and reset, nothing is half as quick and effective as a shitty shoot-em-up. Somethings about 2 hours of cartoonish, pg-13 violence held together with the absolute loosest of plots brings me to a state of mental blankness that would make a monk jealous.

Jon: How have I never witnessed you doing this? When are you sneaking off to go see Micheal Tarantino or who ever films?

M artin: That’s definitely not the right name.

Jon: Martin, dear, I don’t care. And you’re dodging the question.

Martin, fond: I’m not dodging anything. Since apparently we’re getting into it, you haven’t caught me cavorting with a movie involving more explosions than character development lately because I haven’t been. Haven’t needed it, in recent years. Turns out when you’re not crushingly lonely and working a literal nightmare of job, there’s less of a drive to try and escape your own thoughts. Shocker, I know. Still, to anyone out there that feels like their brain is on fire, go try watching a fast and furious. Any of ‘em, it doesn’t matter. Or even better, Chronicles of Riddick. I can’t remember a single goddamn detail of that movie, which makes it perfect for what I’m talking about.

Jon: I have the strong feeling that th is is a “mileage may vary” scenario.

Martin: Well, yeah, that’s this whole podcast. Plus, I imagine that movies like this would cause more stress to someone who cares about, say, world-building or rules consistency.

Jon: I wonder who you could possibly be referring to.

Martin: It’s a purely hypothetical person, love, don’t worry about it. Any small wonders?

Jon: Yes! Particularly relevant to the last week, my small wonder is stripping the sheets from your bed when it’s been too long between washes.

Martin: How very specific. M ost people would just say ‘clean sheets’.

Jon: Well, for one, I’m fairly certain that we’ve already covered clean sheets-

Martin: Shit, have we? Thank god other people keep track of this, otherwise this show would be unbearably repetitive.

Jon: Christ, yes. I typically check the website a good three times while prepping, and every about one out of those three times I find I’m trying to do an topic we did 30 episodes again. Anyway, um, it’s just nice, I think. When you’ve been too busy or sick or away for awhile, tossing the sheets in the wash makes a room instantly seem nicer. Of all the chores out there, this one, at least for me, has the highest reward to effort ratio.

Martin: Hard agree. Especially when the y have that slight funk of having been around to long, getting rid of that is such a relief. Speaking of, we need to change our sheets soon.

Jon: We can do it after the episode. Who goes first this week?

Martin: Considering last week was only me talking, I’m gonna say it’s you.

Jon: Alright, then. My first thing this week is Martin K. Blackwood.

Martin: Absolutely not!

Jon: Oh, you can do a whole episode on me, but I can’t do one little segment on my husband, whom I love very dearly?

Martin: Not while I’m sat here, no!

Jon: So you’re saying you don’t want me to tell the internet that your resolve to be kind even in the face of indescribable cruelty is one of the mot breathtaking things I’ve ever witnessed, or how I find it incredibly endearing when you get so emotional that your voice comes out as a squeak, or even that, on a more base level, you’re very physically attractive, and I could lose entire days thinking about your arms alone?

Martin, audibly blushing, voice the aforementioned squeak: Oh my god, Jon!

Jon, laughing: Then it’s probably for the best that my actual first thing is best friends.

Martin, peaking the audio levels: Oh you absolute bastard! Do you enjoy this? Do you get some sort of perverse sense of entertainment from riling me up?

Jon: Oh, don’t you start. As if you’re not as bad as I am. Maybe even worse.

Martin: That’s not…

Jon: Yes?

Martin: Okay. Maybe it’s slightly true. Really, what is romance for if not flustering your partner with compliments?

Jon, teasing: I certainly can’t think of anything.

Martin: Hush, you.

Jon: No, I don’t think I will.

Martin: Fine. I suppose you can tell our delightful audience about the power of friendship or whatever.

Jon: I would’ve assumed more enthusiasm, considering this segment is still, indirectly, about you.

Martin: In what way?

Jon: In the way that, to the shock of all, you’re my best friend.

Martin, pleased: Oh, is that what I am?

Jon, exasperated: Yes, dearest husband, I wouldn’t have married you otherwise. Though, upon reflection, I knew you were my best friend before I knew I held romantic feelings for you.

Martin: When was that?

Jon, letting out a breath that vibrates his lips: God it was...2016? I think it might’ve literally been the day after you told me about your CV.

Martin: That early? Huh. I wonder if that’s what people were picking up when they said they we were close.

Jon: What people?

Martin: I don’t know specifically, that’s just what Daisy told me.

Jon: Daisy? When the hell-?

Martin: It...was when she was interrogating me? And, because sometimes I have to be a parody of myself, pretty much my only take away from that interrogation was “people think me and Jon are close”.

Jon: Well then. It’s not like they were wrong.

Martin, smug: No, no they weren’t.

Martin, sincere: And you’re my best friend, too.

Jon: I was certainly hoping that you’re in this relationship for more than my good looks and incredible fortune, both in the monetary and luck sense.

Martin: You say that as if you aren’t good looking, which we all know is patently untrue.

Jon: You’re biased. You’d say I was good looking if I were nothing more than some primordial ooze with thoughts about its station.

Martin: I’m being completely objective. If you were primordial ooze with thoughts above its station, you’d be the cutest ooze of them all. That’s just scientific fact.

Jon: I’m starting to think we might be insufferable.

Martin: Starting to? Might be?

Jon:…

[Jon clears his throat]

Jon: What I find wonderful about the concept of best friends is, to me, they’re the closest thing real life has to soulmates. I don’t personally believe that there’s some..grand mystic force that drives people to be tied together in the manner that narrative typical soulmates are, and if there was I don’t think it would necessarily be the kind of emotional, heartfelt bond one would hope for, but I do believe that there’s individuals that get to know one another, and because of that knowledge, they chose to stick with one another. It doesn’t have to be a romantic, which is why I say best friend rather than specifically ‘spouse’, but I would argue that the basis of a strong romance like you and I have, is very much rooted in that connection. A true best friendship is an equal partnership, and there’s a sense of..matched sensibilities and understanding that can be utterly incandescent when it happens.

I also think that having one or more best friends makes living life on a day to day basis both better and just flat easier. The dark times aren’t as dark, and the bright times shine even more. I know from my own personal experience there are events that I..that I don’t know how I would’ve made it through without you. Hell, last week my..recovery period would’ve taken much longer if you hadn’t been there.

It’s an amazing thing to have someone to share things with, both triumphs and burdens. Um, also, according to Dictionary.com, the term best friends in English has been around since the 1200s. Something about that delights me, like, yes, we’ve had this casual way of referring to a Favorite Person for roughly 800 years. That makes it a hold-out from early Middle English. I dunno, it’s one of those things that make me feel overall very charmed by humanity.

Martin, audibly smiling: No, yeah, hard agree.

Jon: What’s that look for?

Martin: Nothing. Just. I love you a whole lot, you know that?

Jon, voice soft: I may have heard you say that once or twice. Per hour.

Martin: Only that often? I really need to be more diligent about that.

[There’s a bet of silence, presumably where they’re making doe eyes at each other.]

Jon: What’s your first thing?

Martin: Oh, um, right. Rats!

Jon: The expression or the animal?

Martin: Jon, have you ever once heard me say “rats” as an expression? Obviously I’m referring to the animal.

Jon: Ah. Should’ve known, considering that what, a third?, of all your segments have been on animals.

Martin: Yeah? And? You got a problem with critters? With creatures? With lil guys?

Jon, laughing: No, no, it’s very sweet. I’m just surprised you never became a vet.

Martin: Oh believe me, I wanted to. But then I learned that it was not, in fact, a job composed entirely of getting paid to play with other people’s pets.

Jon: You had that job, though, didn’t you? I thought I remembered you mentioning a month long stint at a doggie day care.

Martin, sighing dreamily: Best job I ever had. Too bad that place was shut down after it was revealed to be a money laundering front.

Jon: Good lord.

Jon: Martin did you...did you know it was a money laundering front at the time?

Martin:

Martin: Would it make you feel better if I said no?

Jon: Martin!

Martin: I figured it out like a week in, but, like, who cares? The pay was decent and the floor was super easy to clean, which is very much a plus for even a front of a doggie day care.

Jon: That’s...rather a lot. How about instead of getting into that any further, you tell me about rodents.

Martin: I would love to. But first, we have a shoutout!

Jon: Ooo, a shoutout. Does it specify who should read?

Martin: Let me check. It...does...not…..

...

Jon: Martin?

[A beat.]

Martin: Right! Sorry, um. This week’s shoutout is from Tim, to Danny. It says, “Danny! My favorite person who shares genetic material with me! I wanted to say thank you for your podcast obsession from 4 months ago, and specifically for telling me about these marrieds. They’ve gotten me through many a dull hour at the publishing house. Also, with this shoutout, I’ve officially gotten ahead on the Superior [Last Name Redacted] Brother scoreboard, so suck it. Love you lots, and looking forward to your visit next month, Tim.”

Jon: Oh.

Jon: Um. That’s very..sweet? I think? Mostly?

Martin: Yeah, I’d say so. Uh. We have to take a quick break because, uh, someone is..at our front door! Be back with you all in, from your side of things, just a moment.