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endcrman · 5 months

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Allostasis

(Chapter 3)

As a general rule of thumb, Grian doesn’t do public servers for a multitude of reasons. This one hadn’t even made it onto the list.

TW for implied sexual assault, PTSD symptoms, and Self-Neglect

(This is a comfort chapter in the hurt/comfort fic)

Read the whole fic here. (Here for Ao3/mobile.)

Panic enveloped him first, before anything else.

He was surrounded by water, he realized, unable to stop himself from gasping, liquid rushing to fill his lungs. His eyes shot open, stinging from whatever else was in the water with him, everything blurry. His wings were heavy, pulling him deeper, deeper even as he flailed, trying to pull himself above the surface.

He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, fast, jackhammering away as his desperate lungs tried to pull in another breath- only more water. He felt dizzy, flailing hopelessly, arms feeling heavier and heavier, until they met something solid.

The surface was covered, he was trapped.

His vision started going dark as panic enveloped his entire being.

There was muffled shouting as he faded away again.

Grian gasped, sitting up suddenly as he woke. He found his own hand at his throat as he coughed, almost as if the imaginary liquid could leave his lungs still, the memory of his dream sending him reeling.

He hadn't noticed the hushed voices from just outside his door until they stopped, pausing at the commotion he was making. Two pairs of eyes peeked around the doorframe, both landing on him easily, not like he'd moved at all, and Grian couldn't stop himself from shrinking at the attention.

“Grian!” Scar was too loud, too excited, too eager as he rushed inside, towards the bed. “Joel told me a little about what was happening, you should have told me!”

He felt his face crinkle at the thought, looking away from the other at the much more interesting wall. Had that crack in that plank always been there?

There was a beat before Scar spoke again, voice quieting down a bit to a much more tolerable level. “Sorry, guess that's probably why you didn't tell me. I can go if you want? I don't know- Joel said I should come over, he told me you said it was okay but we both know how he can be-”

“Hey!” Joel cut off his rambling, sounding offended. “He did say it was okay. Give him a blummin’ moment Scar, you're going to get yourself kicked out.”

“Sorry,” Grian managed, throat feeling even more sore from hacking his lungs out a moment ago, “still- still tired.”

“That's fine,” Scar quickly assured him, reaching out to touch Grian's shoulder despite Joel's hissed warning. “No need for sorries, take your time.”

Despite Joel's concerns, Grian relaxed under the small touch. He hadn't realized just how much he missed this, even the little touches, not until Joel had been standing behind him carefully detangling his hair.

“Helped convince him to take a shower and eat,” Joel spoke softly, clearly not to Grian himself. “His voice is a bit rough though, like you heard,” and Joel's attention turned toward him again. “Did you want more tea, Grian?”

He thought about it for a moment, but the soreness in his throat had yet to let up. “Less honey this time?” He asked, finally looking back over at his two friends.

“You got it boss.” And Joel was off, busying himself over the stove.

“Honey's supposed to be good for your throat,” Scar interjected, making a wheezy laugh escape Grian.

“Yeah, that's why he put too much in last night,” he hummed, before thinking a bit more on it. “Earlier? I- I don't know how long it's been.”

“Probably just earlier,” Scar's voice was soft, at least for now, before he got too excited to remember it again. “He said he came over this morning.”

“Mm.” He couldn't think of any other way to respond, simply acknowledging the fact. This morning. Judging by the light outside his windows, he'd been out for most of the day then, the sun would be setting soon. “Are you staying the night?” He asked, as soon as the thought came to mind.

“Oh- uh, I think that was the plan? As long as you're alright with that,” Scar seemed unsure, fidgeting in place. “You can kick me out whenever, but Joel said you probably shouldn't be alone right now.”

Grian felt his lip curl, even though Joel was probably right. “I'm not going to kick you out, Scar.” He glanced over at the other, noting how he twisted his hands together, a ball of energy. “Did Joel pull you away from a build?”

“What? No!” Scar lied, laughing as he deliberately placed his hands on the armrests of his chair. “Don't worry about it, G, I'd rather be here anyway.”

“Don't be like that,” Grian scoffed, rolling his eyes. “What did Joel even tell you anyways? How much of my business did he spill?” He wasn't actually upset at Joel, not really, but he felt bitter.

“Not a lot!” Scar's hands were raised again, as if trying to calm a panicked animal. “Just… that you've been here a while now, and you've been having an episode, but you won't say why. Not that you have to! Just- that's what he told me.”

“An episode,” Grian repeated bitterly, mumbled under his breath.

“Like- Like a PTSD episode,” Scar clarified, wringing his hands again.

Grian grimaced at the bluntness, looking away from Scar again. He almost wished for his comm, but he knew it was a bad idea, who knew what kinds of messages could be waiting on there. “Who said I have PTSD?” He bluffed, knowing there were at least a couple of Hermits who would confirm as much, it wasn't his best kept secret.

“Grian…” Scar's hand was on his shoulder yet again, and he couldn't stop himself from relaxing under it immediately. “You don't have to tell me anything, okay? Just let me know how I can help. If I can help.”

For a while it was quiet, just the distant sounds of Joel opening and closing different chests. Grian hadn't even realize he started crying until Scar was pulling away.

“Joel?” Grian could hear the concern in his voice, even though he hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't.

Grian whipped around, grabbing Scar's wrist and holding on far too tight, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks. “D-don't leave,” he barely managed. Scar's other hand moved from the wheel of his chair, gently wrapping his fingers around Grian's grip.

“Oh, Grian…” Scar's voice almost matched his in volume, and for once Grian couldn't bring himself to care how full of pity it was. Maybe just this once he needed a little pity. “I'm sorry, I thought… I thought I upset you. I was just going to get Joel.”

“Please don't leave me.” It was pathetic, he felt pathetic, he was pathetic; but the last time Scar left him alone… He hiccuped, free hand rubbing furiously at his face. “Please, Scar-”

“I'm not going anywhere, Grian.” He barely managed to slip his hand out of Grian's grip, only to lace their fingers together, other hand sandwiching Grian's between them. “You're okay, I'm here.”

There were footsteps approaching, and then silence for a moment. Grian looked up just in time to see the look Joel and Scar were sharing, before their joint attention was on him again.

“I'm going to put this here,” Joel said once he realized Grian was watching him, setting the mug of tea on the bedside table. “For when you're thirsty again.”

Grian sniffled, nodding a little. “Th-thanks. Sorry,” he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand, squeezing Scar's with the other.

“It's fine,” Joel assured him, reaching out to brush Grian's hair out of his face again. “... Do you want me to stay? I was going to head out soon now that Scar is here, but I don't have to.”

Grian quickly shook his head, almost immediately undoing the progress Joel had made on his hair again. “Don't- don't stay just because you feel like you have to,” he insisted, even though that was exactly what Scar was doing. “You've been here all day.”

“Meh,” Joel shrugged, keeping his hands to himself this time. “I don't mind staying longer, but if you want me to go…” He glanced over to where Grian's comm was resting, just next to the cup of tea. “Don't hesitate to call me, either of you!”

Scar pulled a hand away to salute. “Sir yes sir!” He said earnestly, a smile on his face. Grian couldn't stop the tiny laugh that made its way through his tears, Scar's ridiculousness a balm on the entire situation.

“Good, good.” And Joel was making his way toward the door, hesitating. “Grian,” he had paused in the doorway, biting his lower lip. “We're here for you, alright? Ping me and I'll be over in an instant.”

Grian's chest hurt, and it took everything in him not to sob as he nodded a little. His voice was shaking as he managed a single word, “okay.” And then Joel was gone.

It probably wasn't actually that fast, he probably waited by the door for another minute or two, waiting to see if Grian changed his mind. Though once he finally managed to blink away his tears again it was just him and Scar, who was cradling his hand between his own once more.

“You should drink your tea,” Scar's voice was still quiet as he raised the hand not directly intertwined with Grian's fingers, thumb brushing away some of the wetness on his cheek. “Replace some of those liquids you just lost.”

“Not sure that's how it works,” he mumbled, head tilting into the touch.

“Wouldn't hurt either though.” Scar’s hand started to pull away, only for Grian to hold on to it even tighter. “I’m not going anywhere, G-man, just think you should use two hands to hold the mug, you’re a bit shaky.”

Grian wet his lips, squeezing Scar’s hand again. “... Promise?”

Scar squeezed right back. “Cross my heart.”

Reluctantly, Grian dropped Scar’s hand. He forced himself to keep calm even as the other pulled away a bit, picking up the mug to hand to him, which he took in trembling hands himself. Scar was right, of course, he was in no state to use just one.

“Thank you,” he murmured, before taking a sip of the tea, thanking the void it wasn’t as sweet as the last time he’d had it, he wasn’t sure he could stomach it again. He watched over the mug as Scar rolled minutely closer to the bed before activating the brakes, fiddling with his hands in his lap before looking up again, catching the other's gaze before Grian's eyes quickly darted away.

“Aren't you going to ask?” His words were muffled, spoken into the mug and swallowed by it.

“Ask what?” He could see Scar lean forward a bit in the corner of his eye.

He took another sip of tea, delaying the inevitable. “What happened.”

Scar was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking about what to say next, which wasn't always something he did. Grian almost snickered at the thought, but Scar was speaking finally.

“No, I don't think so,” he looked thoughtful, resting his chin on his fist. “You'll tell me if you want to, Joel said you might, but I'm not gonna push it.” It was quiet again, and after a moment Scar looked up, meeting Grian's eyes once more. “Unless you want me to ask, would that make it easier?”

Grian winced at being seen through so easily, looking down into the mug just to avoid contact. “... It might, yeah.”

“Hm, alright.” He didn't sound judgemental, he never did, but Grian couldn't help but feel nervous. “... It has to do with whatever happened at that convention, doesn't it? When we got split up?”

Grian almost felt like he was there again, surrounded by people on all sides, pushing in on him, no care for his personal space— “Yes,” he choked out, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “It was- it- yes.” He felt Scar's hand rest on his forearm, though he didn't look away from the small bit of tea left in the mug.

“I'm sorry, Grian,” he mumbled, continuing before Grian could tell him it wasn't his fault. “What… What happened? Who did this to you?”

He could feel tears welling up in his eyes again, and he couldn't tell if it was from remembering, or the care that Scar was putting into the situation. “My ex, he- he was on the server. I hadn't spoken with him since high school,” the words sounded legible to him at least, but he'd be a fool to assume that was entirely the truth, voice beginning to shake again as tears rolled down his cheeks for what felt like the millionth time that day.

“He hit you?” Scar gasped, hand gripping a little tighter at Grian's arm.

“I was- I wasn't letting him-” Grian hiccuped, hands going white-knuckled around the mug. “He wanted to touch my wings,” he sobbed, almost spilling what little was left of the tea with how much he was shaking.

“Oh, Grian…” The mug was taken from his hands and set aside, replaced by Scar’s own hand, giving him something softer to squeeze, hopefully not hurting him. “I’m so sorry.”

He was fighting for air through the tears, squeezing Scar’s hand even tighter, pulling it closer towards him as he curled inwards. “He- When we were-” He was broken off by another sob. “Th-they were the only things I had left. I didn’t have them in school. They were mine and now- a-and now-”

“Grian. Grian,” Scar carefully placed his free hand on the other’s shoulder, leaning in close.

“He ruined them!” Grian wailed, unable to stop himself, unable to look Scar in the eyes. “He- he ruined me,” he hiccuped, quieter.

He gasped as he was suddenly pulled into Scar’s arms, almost falling off of the bed. Instead of doing anything else to balance himself, he clung to Scar, sobbing into his shoulder. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry,” he whimpered, feeling the fabric beneath his cheek growing wetter and wetter.

“Shhh…” Scar held him close, and it felt safer than it did restricting, even when he squeezed his arms tighter around him. “Grian, void, Grian, you’re not ruined,” he murmured quietly, face buried in his hair, speaking just above his ear. “You’re not ruined,” he repeated, one of his hands moving up to hold the back of his head, running fingers through his hair. “You can’t… you can’t give him that power over you,” his own voice was shaking slightly, “it’s not your fault.”

Grian couldn’t stop the tears, he couldn’t stop shaking, long ignored sobs escaping his lungs. “I- he made me- I-I feel so disgusting,” he choked out, sure that his nails were digging into Scar’s flesh now, just another thing he couldn’t do right, “I can’t- I can’t look at them, t-touch them- they’re so- and I can’t- I can’t fix them.”

“I’m sorry, Grian, I’m so sorry.” He didn’t even flinch away from Grian’s harsh grip, carefully rocking the two of them back and forth, as much as he could sitting like this. “I wish I could have been there, I wish I could have stopped him. I’m sorry.”

His breath caught on another sob, shaking his head. “You- you did, sort of,” he admitted, his throat beginning to ache again from just how much he was using it now. “When you came looking for me I-” He sniffled, “I stopped it, because- because I heard you. I could.” It wasn’t the full truth, but it was enough.

“Void, I'm so sorry, you're so strong,” Scar mumbled, his hold on the other tightening even more. “Never forget that. You're so, so brave, I'm sorry that you had to be.”

It hurt too much to keep speaking. For now, Grian kept quiet, still sobbing softly into Scar's shoulder. And Scar— the angel— didn't let go, he didn't push him, just held him close, humming softly to him. When he did try to pull away, Grian's grip only tightened again.

“Hey, hang on there,” Scar's voice was still so unusually quiet. “Your back must hurt, at least let me get up on the bed with you.”

It hadn't exactly been at the forefront of his mind, but now that Scar had mentioned it, Grian was far too aware of the sharp soreness in his spine from leaning over too much for too long. He hesitated, because of course he did, before carefully extracting himself from Scar's hold, scooting over to make some extra room on the bed. “I'm tired,” he said softly, newly freed hands rubbing tears away from his eyes, “so hurry up.”

“It'll take as long as it takes,” Scar's tone was just a little lighter. Regardless of what he said, it didn't take too long at all for him to carefully roll into Grian's bed, propped up slightly against the pillow behind him— and immediately Grian was in his arms again, face buried in his chest.

Grian all but melted as Scar started running a hand through his hair. His eyes were still wet, but he wasn't choking on sobs anymore, which he considered an improvement.

“I could help with your wings tomorrow, if you want.” He felt Scar's voice in his chest more than he heard it. “Only if you want me to though, but I think it’d be good to have them cleaned up.”

“I think… I think you’re right,” Grian could only hope Scar actually heard him, the closeness only muffling his soft voice even more. “Maybe… I’d like that.”

“You can decide for sure tomorrow, don’t worry about it right now. Just sleep for now,” Scar murmured, holding onto Grian just a bit tighter.

As exhausted as he was, who was Grian to argue? Slowly drifting off without a word in opposition, finally feeling safe.

Grian’s sleep was easy and dreamless that night, a privilege he had not been afforded in the previous week or so, however long he’d been stuck in this rut. When he woke again it was slow, he felt warm, limbs heavy like they were full of lead, but comfortable nonetheless. He could feel a weight over his torso, an arm he realized, holding him close, and finally he cracked open his eyes.

Directly in front of him, blocking the sunlight from hitting his face directly, was Scar, drooling on his pillow.

Grian couldn’t stop the ugly snort that escaped him at the sight, throwing his arms up over his face to block the view, trying to silence the laughter bubbling up inside of him, not wanting to wake the other too early. Though judging by the movement next to him, he failed.

“Mmh, Grian?” Scar’s arm slid off of him, regrettably, but Grian could still feel his body heat, even if he was covering his eyes. “G? You alright?”

He could feel his shoulders shaking, and before he could stop it he burst out laughing, tired giggles escaping his throat as he squeezed his arms tighter, as if that could stop it. He heard a sigh from beside him, before Scar was chuckling softly too.

“What’s got you so worked up?” Scar’s voice was still full of sleep, but he sounded less worried than a moment or two ago, which Grian hadn’t even noticed until just now.

The laughter eventually quieted down and he could bring himself to uncover his face, unable to stop the huge grin from growing, still somewhat hiding behind his hands as he peeked through his fingers at the other. Scar was awake now, clearly, a tired smile on his own face, hair sticking up in every direction possible, at least he wasn’t drooling anymore.

“Heya goof, back with me?” Scar teased, his forever charming smile already contrasting the image Grian had just woken up to, the thought of which made him snicker a little again.fa

“Yeah,” was what he said when he finally managed to make words again, still grinning a bit. “Just glad you stayed, I guess.”

“Uh huh,” Scar didn’t sound convinced, but his amused look didn’t disappear even as he sat up, yawning. “Where would I have gone?” He reached out, hesitating for a moment, but then his hand was brushing through Grian’s hair.

Grian settled into the touch like a particularly pleased cat, eyes fluttering shut as he let out a soft hum. “Dunno, just glad I’m not alone anymore,” he mumbled, not really processing the words before they left him. He’d be embarrassed if he thought about it for too long, so instead he opened his eyes again, looking up at Scar. “Help me with my wings?” He pivoted, knowing he’d be unlikely to work up the courage again.

Scar’s brows furrowed a bit at that, hand stopping for a moment— though it continued again before Grian could complain. “You still want me to? Not just ‘cause you should or whatever?”

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded a little, careful not to jostle Scar’s hand. “Yeah. Yeah I mean, I should for sure but… I don’t know if I can myself,” Grian bit the inside of his cheek, looking away from Scar’s eyes now. “And… I don’t trust just anyone to do it for me, you know. And you have experience.”

“Aww, Grian,” Scar cooed, looking touched when Grian finally met his eyes again. “It’s been a while, you’ll have to tell me if I’m too rough.”

“I don’t think you can be,” Grian said mostly to himself, finally sitting up as well. “... Do you… do you want to do it right now? Before I freak out too much and change my mind?” He pitched his tone up, trying to make it sound more joke than truth, though he knew Scar could see right through him.

“Oh, of course, yeah, come here,” Scar hummed, thankfully not commenting on Grian's nervousness barely bubbling under the surface.

Carefully they maneuvered so Grian was almost sitting in Scar's lap, facing away from him of course. It was another couple of minutes before he took a deep breath, slowly spreading his wings. He heard a sharp inhale from behind him, making his hair stand on end.

“Jeez, Gri,” Scar murmured. He could feel the other's hands hovering just above his wings, not quite touching yet. “This might take me a bit,” he spoke up after a moment, “I don't think I've seen them quite like this before.”

Grian swallowed thickly, a lump forming in his throat. “Is- Is it really bad?” He asked, trying to keep his voice strong.

“Nothing we can't handle together,” Scar promised, “just breathe, I'm going to start now.”

Grian took a deep breath at Scar's suggestion, and then he felt fingers in his feathers. His head started spinning as he was almost thrown back into the past, back to the convention, back against the wall, hands clawing at his wings— but Scar's touch was so gentle, grounding him in the moment, so careful that he couldn't realistically equate the two.

“Is this okay so far?” Scar's voice was soft, barely audible in Grian's ear. “Tell me if you need me to stop.”

“You're doing fine,” he choked on his own words, but that didn't stop Scar’s hands, carefully working each feather one by one until it laid flat, plucking those damaged from his own miscare.

“Thank you for letting me do this,” Scar murmured after a particularly tough tug. “So strong. Your wings are going to look a-may-zing after this.”

Grian wasn't sure when he started crying again, silent tears streaming down his cheeks. It seemed Scar was just as unaware, focused on the task at hand until Grian sniffed, raising a hand to rub at his face.

His hands didn't stop, thank the void, though they did slow. “You holding on alright there, Grian?” He smoothed a hand down the small area he'd already finished, making Grian relax under the touch.

Grian couldn't help the chirp that escaped him, clear as day even through the tears. “Y-yeah,” he choked after, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “It's good, just- just a lot.”

“Okay, let me know if you need a break.” Scar meant well, but Grian was fairly certain if they took a break, he wouldn’t let the other start again. Regardless, he nodded a little, even if he lacked the intent behind it.

Their conversation, if it could even be called that, dropped off at that point. Every once in a while Scar would murmur gentle praises and gratitudes, more speaking at Grian than with him, seeing as he didn’t respond and Scar never pushed him to. The tears had dried once more by the time Scar had finished with the first wing and moved onto the other, manually stretching out the muscles that had subconsciously retracted.

Grian almost could have fallen asleep under Scar’s ministrations once he calmed again, breathing steady and slow as he absentmindedly fiddled with the hem of his sweater, movements slow and without purpose. He hadn’t even noticed when Scar eventually stopped, reaching the end of the task at hand.

“Hey, Gri, how’s everything feeling?” Scar’s voice startled Grian out of his own head, his little jolt earning a laugh. “Wake up, sleepyhead. How do your wings feel?”

“Mm?” Words weren’t working quite yet, but they were jump-started again as soon as he spread his wings, startled by just how good they felt. “Oh- Scar they’re- they feel fantastic,” his voice was quiet, and he could almost feel tears welling up again.

“Good,” Scar sounded relieved, running his fingers through Grian’s feathers one last time, making him shiver a little. “They look really good too, so clean and bright, I’m glad I could help.”

“I-” Grian choked for a moment, suddenly yearning for the feeling of air beneath his wings again. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed it. “I need to fly,” he scrambled out of bed, stumbling a little and ignoring Scar’s laugh. “I’ll be right back, I promise, I just-”

“Go.” Scar was grinning, but Grian felt bad leaving him covered in the small pile of broken feathers.

“Five minutes,” he promised, holding up a hand. “Five minutes, then I’ll be back to clean up and we can have breakfast and- and whatever else you want to do today. Five minutes.”

“Five minutes,” Scar agreed, with a knowing smile.

Grian all but dove out the front door, a whooping cheer leaving him for the first time in forever as he spiraled through the air. Fifteen minutes later, he was sheepishly creeping back inside to Scar, windswept hair and a bright smile on his face. He didn’t feel quite so bad about the time though, not when Scar was grinning so wide right back at him.

#grian #goodtimeswithscar #hermitcraft #yandere high school #writing #my post #allostasis main tag #allostasis fic

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dungeonmeshimybeloved · 2 months

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Hiii!! I just finished your fanfic “Of course I came back for you” and I absolutely loved it! It was so amazing! The writing is genuinely so gorgeous and the story is just phenomenal! The ending made me wanna scream and cry :,)

I also loved how you took some of the original scenes and tweaked them to better fit the characters! I always see people complaining about it (which doesn’t make sense to me) and I think you did it well! I also liked how you added other little scenes like when Chilchuck was stitching Laios’ shirt! And when he tore it off made me wanna cry!!!

Also laios breathing fire is so cool! I also loved your characterization of them! I love the idea that Chilchuck suggested that they should eat monsters as a joke and Falin took that as Chilchuck being serious! I giggled a little at that! :)

Would you ever think about continuing the fanfic or making a full swap AU?

Thank you so much for posting this fanfic! You honestly gave me inspiration and motivation to write my fanfics (or try to actually work them out in my head). Tysm!! I loved your fanfic! Please never stop writing! <3

(I’m so sorry if any of my grammar is off, I’m not able to check it right now)

HI HELLO IM ABOUT TO EXPLODE THIS IS THE NICEST THING EVER ?? I'm so serious the amount of encouragement and support I've gotten these past few days has made me feel dizzy with excitement and I'm nearly drunk off the happy vibes. First off - your Grammar is perfect don't you worry, and Secondly!!! I would love to read your fics when you get to writing them!

This is sorta - off the cuff stream of Conscience rambling, so I apologize in advance I'm all over the place, I just -!!! Screams. I'm so happy

Firstly I wanna encourage you in your writing endevors.

Writing is a difficult process, and oftentimes, when writing, it can feel so hard to think it's actually good. I'll admit that at several points during this fic in particular, I was worried that some of the dialogue was melodramatic (specifically the bath confrontation), but that's a case of me being overly critical of my own work. When you start, aim to just have fun with it! Don't stress about making a masterpiece because you'll improve as you go, and it's likely that others won't notice the weaknesses you find in your own work. Take your time as well. I've been working on this fic over the course of a month or so, and I'm glad I started it early, because I was able to include so many details and flesh out scenes that - if I hadn't had the time - would fall flat.

I wish you luck, and I am excited to possibly read some of your works <3

Also !! I felt odd taking some of the Canon scenes and tweaking it, but I found it easier to write when I had a basis to go off of. A reference point if you will. It was like laying out ground work, so the scenes I added in (like Chilchuck stitching up Laios' shirt - only to have it torn off, I'm super pleased that it had the emotional impact I was aiming for). So thank you so much! It makes me happy to hear that it worked well in your eyes <3

And about Chilchuck joking about eating monsters, I can't really take credit for that specific detail, lol! That idea was something I borrowed from this post by Ciderjacks. It was so funny to imagine chilchuck of all people suggesting they ate monsters, I had to include it. Thank you so much, though. I had a lot of fun wrangling their characterizations to make everything work. I'm happy the characters shined though <3

To answer another question, I'm not sure if I'll continue this au! I've read the Manga to completion, and I have some ideas of how to proceed with Falin and co, but at the moment I want to take a small break from this au.

I have a couple of other fics that I've been meaning to work on and finish, so I'm most likely going to go back to those. However! That doesn't mean I won't continue this. I'll probably be thinking about it for a while, so i may be hit with inspiration to start drafting a new fic. If I do, it'll probably follow Falins perspective. She is the defacto leader of the group, after all. If you read the Manga to its completion, you'll see that she's got quite the journey ahead of her. (Ngl tho, as I think about it, I'm more and more intrigued with the idea........)

Okay, okay, so I'm gonna take this opportunity to talk about Chimera Laios bc I had thoughts that I couldn't actually incorporate into the story due to it being from Chilchucks' perspective. I have a design thought out about him, and I plan to draw it sometime soon, but with Laios, I wanted to incorporate more of the red dragons biology! (There's some slight spoilers under the cut if you're anime only, dealing with summoning monsters and their behaviors, tred carefully)

First off, him breathing fire was to make up for the fact that he didn't have magic. I imagine that in his transformation, he had some sway and was able to incorporate a way to ignite the fuel organ. Not only that, but the extra scales Laios has were actually due to the armor he went to bed in!

His arm and leg armor were still intact, so when he got fused with the dragon, the metal spread around his human portion of the body (and wings) to add a layer of durability. It's why the undines attack was deflected and why Kabrus knife broke - it's because kabru struck the metallic scales instead of the fleshy bits.

Not only that! (And this section does contain the spoilers for anime only watchers, but ill try and be vague)

But I was thinking about how dragons - when summoned - are their own creatures and can be stubborn and resist their orders. Falin was sorta - subservient to thistle as a chimera, while natural biological dragons tended to do their own thing despitr their orders.

Laios has a stronger will, and he embraces his monster form, but that means he won't just refuse to eat and rest. When he arrived at the scene with Toshiros party, he was hunting. Specifically hunting the harpies. He just so happened to stumble upon the parties. If the ninja hadn't attacked him first, he might've just left them be and left with his kills.

#eage talks #kicking my feet #screaming #im #im so floored with how sweet and supportive everyone is #its so inspiring snd im so happy to be in this corner of the internet with you all #crying

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fateinthestars · 6 months

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Right then! Time for the first of two White Day Special Stories posts. (Yeah I'm a day late, sorry).

This entry contains:

'Secret Blessings from the Gods: Punishments' and 'Secret Blessings from the Gods: Wishes'

These two sets contain stories for: Scorpio, Dui, Ichthys, Leon, Teorus, and Huedhaut.

Spoilers under cut.

Secret Blessing from the Gods: Punishments

Scorpio: A Handmade Message from a God

Poor Scorpio. When he tries to be really sweet it seems like things tend to go wrong. Though he also needs to use his words more rather than making MC think he's angry. That said he really tries to go out of his comfort zone for MC. Scorpio's sooo sweet, and everything works out in the end at least.

Dui: An Album of Memories

Dui is just so sweet and this making a photo album is such a lovely touching story... at least to start with. I'm glad they didn't actually lose the photos but geez the other Gods pfft. Though it's nice to see Dui is just so overwhelmingly happy he doesn't even care about the Gods antics. In fact he's the one winding Scorpio up for once.

Ichthys: All About Sweets. All About You.

Oh the gift Ichthys gives MC in this one is wonderous I just wanna go spend all day there.

But, Ichthys, please... if there's one God who should be careful about tiring themselves out by overusing powers on earth it's you sweetheart.

I adore all of this story from the chaos in the mall to the white day present. Even Ichthys' brief dizzy spell gives a nice sense of I guess closeness to him and MC.

Secret Blessing from the Gods: Wishes

Leon: A More Romantic, Dramatic Love

Oh. Oh dear. This is a mess. It's nice to see the other Gods being reassuring for once... (well mostly, though I know Ichthys was trying to be light-hearted. Thanks for stopping him from making it worse though, Dui). Leon's present and how he managed to know about the things he says and does is really sweet but poor MC is in a massive panic here.

Teorus: From the Most Beautiful Man in the World

Those of you who have read my previous rambles are probably waiting with abated breath with concern that I'm gonna talk about another Teo story, right? Well you shouldn't be so worried! I absolutely adore this Teorus story. In fact it's my favourite of all the stories set in his own path.

His actions and words here are all just so caring and loving and for once it just feels like a nice proper connection between him and MC. He notices something up at the restaurant and later when the issue is revealed his words are exactly the reassurance MC needs.

The conflict for once doesn't come from possessiveness or jealousy but from a magazine survey getting into MC's head about looks.

This is the story I have to remind myself about whenever I write Teorus/MC fics (which I know hasn't been often cos as I've said before my mind regarding Teo is all over the place).

For that matter the message here is important too. This is my top tier Teo story but it might be one of my favourites in general.

Although, talking of top tier...

Huedhaut: An Enchanting Cocktail

Oh Hue. I'm laughing so hard still at his talk about White Day, how it's a Japanese invention, and about consumerism.

Everything here is just so wonderful and loving but it is absolutely typical that they both plan something for after the main date. Like the universe always throws a spanner into Hue and MC's plans.

However it's also clearly their fate binding them together again as both their gifts contain a reference to the Aquarius constellation.

Alsothough, Hue? Magic in a drink that'll grant a wish if you wish exactly on midnight? Hue you're a Wishes God 😂 Why the rush with the time? It was just for flair wasn't it?

Still... 🥰

Okay, ranking attempt? Do I have to? These are all pretty amazing (yes even Leon's, though it's far more tense and angsty than the others here. It's not the light hearted White Day thing you'd might expect.) Ugh... well here goes:

Ichthys

Teorus

Huedhaut

Dui

Scorpio

Leon

But seriously ask me again in a moment and I'll probably rearrange all of these - and where Leon's comes depends on how I'm judging these. As a story idea it's actually pretty strong but all the others here give you a warm feeling, and Teo's works more because it isn't related to relationship concerns.

#scm #star crossed myth #scm ramble #star crossed myth spoilers #star crossed myth character review/rambling #scm ichthys #scm teorus #scm huedhaut #scm dui #scm scorpio #scm leon

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yourimagines · 10 months

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Hurt by you p.2

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Gif is not mine

* Triggers: Fluff, Violence, Swearing

Y/n POV

Sean asked me to join him at his private gym. So here I was, looking at him train for his next fight. “Sean move! You need to move more!” His coach yelled at him. His sparring partner was throwing some big launches on him. “Okay stop!” His coach went in the ring as they stopped. “What the fuck are you doing Strickland.” He shrugged his shoulders. “You look like a scared little mouse, you need to focus more, stop playing around.” “Sorry, I just don’t feel so good today.” “Well you need to get your shit together otherwise you are never getting that belt buddy.” Sean nodded as his coach walked out of the ring. “Let’s take a break, 30 mins.” Sean walked over to me, smiling softly. “Hey.” “Hey.” We both sat down on the bench. He grabbed his water bottle, taking a sip from it. “Are you okay?” He nods and places his water down. “Yeah, are you okay? Not bored or something?” “I’m okay, I like watching you..” he smiles. “You do?” I nodded. “Yes I do..” I said with a light blush on my face. “You are always welcome here..”

—— the next day——

I was back at my apartment calling with my bestie, while making dinner for myself.

“You guys are what?” I asked as she was rambling about her and Dillon.

“Together, Dillon already post it in his story.”

“Aww how cute..” I giggled

“But enough about me, how are you and Sean..” she sang as I blushed

“Good, went to his gym today.”

“Are you guys already dating or…?”

“Nope, just hanging out.”

“Come on Y/N, just date the guy already, he’s probably thinking about you now… fantasying about you.”

“Y/B/N!” She starts to laugh as I scoffed at her

“Oh come on don’t be a prude…. Just call him and ask if he wants to go out with you, spice thing up between you guys.”

“I don’t know..” I sighed.

“Hey, it’s okay. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable with this but I don’t want you to regret this because you are afraid to fall…”

“I know, I will think about it.”

“Good, now I need to go, I have a date I speak you later..”

“Okay have fun tonight and we speak later.”

“Bye bye!”

“Bye.”

I placed my phone down and sighed, looking at my food. ‘Maybe I should call him..’ I looked between my food and my phone. ‘Okay fuck it.’ I grabbed my phone and called him. I was fiddling with the strings on my hoodie, feeling nervous.

“Hey Y/N.” I heard his voice echoing through my phone.

“Hey Sean, I hope I don’t bother you at the moment.” I felt my heart beating fast in my chest.

“No you never bother me darling.” I quickly sat down, feeling a bit dizzy.

“So why do I have the pleasure that you are calling me right now?”

“Uhh, I don’t know anymore.” I cringed at myself. ‘Idiot!’

“Okay, that’s okay, you want me to come over?” ‘Yes please!’

“Only if you want to, I’m sorry I don’t know why I’m calling you…”

“I’m coming over, text me your address.”

With that he hang up the phone. ‘You’re an idiot!’ I quickly texted my address and started to panic a bit. ‘The food, my living room is a mess, what if he was fantasising about me…’ I quickly cleaned up my apartment, throwing some clothes in the wash basket, folding the blankets on the sofa, cleaning up my kitchen. Placing my dinner in the fridge. ‘Just in case.’ I heard a knock on my door. ‘He’s here.’ I quickly looked in the mirror in the hallway before I opened the door. ‘You look alright for a Saturday night in.’ I took a deep breath and opens the door. Sean stood there in his joggers and a hoodie holding a bag. “Hey, come in.” “Thanks.” He walks in and I closed the door behind him. “I didn’t know if he already ate something but I brought some food.” He gives me the bag. “Sean, you didn’t have too you know.” “I know but I wanted to.” I placed the bag on the counter. “I hope you like Asian food.” I smiled at him. ‘It’s better what I made, potatoes with vegetables..’ “yes I do, you want some as well?” He nods and joins me at the table. “I’m happy you called, I was just thinking about you..” ‘oh no, why did she had to joke about it.’ “You were?” He nods as i gave him a plate. “Yeah, I was thinking to ask you out on a date…” he rubbed the back of his neck. “You want to go on a date with me?” “Yes of course, like I said give me an chance..” “okay, I would love to go out on a date with you.” His face lights up. “Really?” I nodded. “Yes but can I count this also as a date?” ‘Just be bold..’ “if you want that then yes.” I smiled and looked at my plate. “Then it’s a date.”

We where watching a romantic movie on the tv. “What an asshole…” I mumbled softly. “Yeah, she should leave him.” Sean says as he rest his arm on the back of the sofa. “I would never do that to you…” he whispered softly at me. I turned my head, looking at him with already a blush spread on my cheeks. “Are you flirting with me Mr Strickland?” He smiles and he slowly drops his arm around my shoulders. “Maybe.” My heart speeds up as I felt his hand tracing my shoulder. “Sean..” whispered softly as he leans closer to me. “Yeah?” He was dangerous close to me now. “Can you grab that blanket next to you.” I bailed out. He smiles and leans back, grabbing that blanket. “Here you go.” He throws it over us, tucking us in. “Better now?” I nodded and looked back at the tv.

I felt him watching me, his arm carefully pushing me closer to him, as my head slowly fell against his chest. His hand slightly brushed against my arm. I tried to relax as he rested his head on top of mine. “You smell nice, so sweet.” I looked carefully up at him, he had a lazy smile on his face. “Thank you.” His hand traveled up to my neck, slowly to my chin. Holding my head steady. “Can I kiss you darling?” He whispered softly as he leans a bit closer. I nodded and he closed the distance, his lips ghosting over mine. I closed my eyes and leaned in. Our lips touched and he deepened the kiss. My hand went up to his hand as he softly squeezed me. I moved a bit around to sit more comfortable, straddling his lap. His hands move down to my waist, holding me. I broke the kiss. He smiles and wipes a few strands of hair out of my face. I tried to move away from his lap but he stopped me. “Please stay.” “Sean, I’m to heavy..” he shook his head. “No you’re not, stop talking like that…” he softly squeezed in my hips. “You’re not heavy, you can sit on me every day darling.” I blushed and hide my face in crook of his neck. “Sean stop..” “No never, look at me baby.” I looked up at him, he pecked on my cheek. “Don’t talk that crap around me, you’re beautiful.” His hand caressing my cheek. “I want you to be there with me, in two weeks at the fight, I want you to be at my side…” I was in shock. “You sure, I mean we’re not together and…” “do you want to be mine y/n, join me for this ride. I promise I will give you the world.” He held my cheek, wiping away a single tear that fell. “Don’t break my heart Sean.” He leans closer. “I’ll protect it, I promise.” I smiled and nodded. “Okay then I’ll join you on this ride.” He smiles and kisses me. “You won’t ever regret this darling.” He said between the kisses. ‘I hope so Sean, because I’m madly in love with you.’

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little-corritrice · 5 months

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Fred & George Weasley - Saving You

Sitting in DADA, I was bored out of my mind. I wasn't paying attention as Umbitch kept rambling on. Suddenly, a paper flew on the table, landing straight in front of me. I knew exactly who it was, and glared. "Quit it." I seethed quietly, facing my desk again. Suddenly, something hard hit my head. I turned around, glaring at Draco and his dweebs. I tried ignoring them, but they kept throwing stuff at me. I stood up, turning to glare at them. "Would you knock it off?" I yelled, losing my temper. Fred, who was my desk-mate, stood up and grabbed my arm. "Ms. y/l! How dare you interrupt my class!! 2 hours of detention after school." She glared, making me glare back. "I didn't do anything!" I argued back, seeing her face start to match her ridiculous pink outfit. "That's it! Sit down and stop interrupting my class!" She yelled, pointing her finger at me.

I scoffed, grabbing my stuff and storming out. "Ms. y/l!" She yelled after me, but I completely ignored her. I slammed the door shut, furious at her. I headed towards the dorms, not even caring about the detention anymore. I fell on my bed, throwing my stuff on the floor. I stared at the ceiling, finding it very interesting now. I don't know when, but I seemed to have fallen asleep, sitting up in bed and seeing school ended a couple minutes ago. It was probably 5pm, meaning I had to go to Umbitch's office for detention. I knocked on the door, entering when given permission. I stood a little ways in front of her desk, and she sighed annoyingly. "Let's begin." She said, casting a silence spell on me. I was confused, but it all made sense as she casted "crucio" on me. I screamed out in pain, falling to my knees as she just smirked watching.

She walked over to me, stopping the spell momentarily. "I wouldn't have to do this if you weren't so disobedient." She said, making it happen again. I fell to the floor, screaming my heart out at the pain I was feeling. She only stood over me and watched on, having no mercy. I sobbed as she stopped again, giving me time to 'think about my actions'. I struggled to breath as I was in so much pain. I cried on the floor, my screams of pure agony being silenced. All of a sudden, the door burst open, and a bomb like thing went off. I sobbed as the spell finally faded away. I looked up to see a blurry patch of orange hair. I couldn't seem to catch my breath as I was extremely dizzy. I started gasping out, trying to catch my breath. I started hyperventilating as I panicked more and more.

I was set on someone's lap, and another blurry glimpse of orange hair popped up. I finally understood that it was the twins, one holding me while the other held my cheeks. "You have to breath. Follow me, okay?" George said, making me nod slowly. I started trying to catch my breath, and after a little, I was taking somewhat normal breaths. "See? You're okay. Nothing will happen now." The one holding me, who I recognized to be Fred, said. I pulled them both into hugs, wrapping my arms around their necks. "I-I'm s-s-sorry." I sobbed out, but they pulled away. "You have nothing to apologize for, love." George said, caressing my cheeks. "It's that evil witch that should be apologizing." Fred said to me, making me sob more. "Thank you." I said, snuggling into his chest more. They smiled more, making me feel protected at last.

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hanibalistic · 3 years

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#5B52AD | NA JAEMIN. NCT DREAM.

genre | fluff, friendship

word count | 2835

warning | a fever, mention of pain

note | i got kind of sick after my first dose of vaccine and i think about is my mother used to sit and rub my tummy whenever i get tummy ache even when it’s 3am.

your body felt heavy, you could not walk without an awkward arch of your back and at an annoyingly slow pace. you haven't gotten a migraine in so long that the gentle ringing in the back of your head now felt like a gradual decomposing of your brain. your tummy gurgled obnoxiously from time to time, confusing your body and mind with hunger and pain.

long story short, you were sick. you got sick, unfortunately, after a streak of good health for the past years, and you barely knew how to take care of yourself now because of how unusual the occurrence was.

you suspected it was the pouring rain you walked under the other day, or the multiple cold nights you've stood through in the unorganized tent area backstage during award shows this past few weeks. either way, since there weren't any other possible reasons, bad weather was the only thing you could blame your sickness on.

you had contacted the team manager about taking a few days off, leisurely estimating your return date while the manager told you to take your time and make sure to only work once you have fully recovered to avoid spreading your sudden fever to the dreamies when you get back. another thing you also asked of, with more grit and firmness this time, was to make sure the manager leak not a single word of you being sick to the boys.

it was true that you have not been sick in a long while, but so far you have gotten a grip on how it works and adapted to being uncomfortable and alone. reminding yourself to take those over-the-counter medicines was annoying but doable. moving around the apartment so you could cook and clean was exhausting but also doable. you did not need an extra pair of hands; it would definitely be good to have one, but you could survive without one.

you knew very well if the boys knew that you caught a fever, they would insist on visiting and taking care of you.

they would probably try to pull up to your apartment with some homemade soup and old movie discs, rambling on and on about sneaking out and forcing the driver to come to your apartment estate, complaining about you keeping everything a secret from your friends. then they'd get unreasonably mad at you for not visiting a doctor, and they'd force you to stay in bed while promising to take care of everything. they would be loud, and destructive, and annoying and—ugh! everything you do not need when you have a fever burning on your head!

"oh, finally!" you groaned in tired delight when you heard the doorbell ring. you have been waiting on the jajangmyeon takeout you ordered about fifteen damn minutes ago (to be fair, it felt like two hours with that migraine in your head).

shaking the shiver off your back when you stood on the cold wooden tiles with your bare feet, you grimaced at the pair of fuzzy socks you previously pulled off out of spontaneity, not wanting to bend down to get them from the ground. you stepped on then as you moved begrudgingly from the messy couch, where your blanket and tons of pillows resided, to the front door.

you unlocked your door with some trouble, finding it hard to stand on your legs and twist the lock. when you slowly swung open the door, you muttered, "sorry for the delay, it's kind of hard to–huh."

you cut yourself off when you saw the sight of renjun handing cash to your delivery man and patting him on the back as he bowed and left your house with your jajangmyeon. your eyes pulled back to look at the bigger picture—four people present before your apartment door, all wearing the same reaction to your figure uncared for.

renjun has turned his attention back from your delivery man and his grimace deepened when he saw your red face. donghyuck pulled a face at you when he saw your terrible posture and dead expression, and he tightened his grip on the small bag in his hand. jeno was frowning in disapproval with one brow raised as if you were spreading the bacteria to him but he was too polite to cover himself up. jaemin looked like he didn't want to be here, like always, but for a moment you saw his eyes flicker with soft concern over your visibly sick posture.

you sneered. that bastard! the manager snitched on you and here came the power rangers of the 2000s judging you at your front door! you would not take this absurdity!

"goodbye," you muttered blandly before you went ahead to close the door on their faces, but a hand swiftly reached out and blocked the door frame from meeting its end.

jeno smiled casually at you from the side, his arm muscle flexing as he, with no effort against your sickened strength, pushed the door open. you attempted to struggle against him, but obviously you were of no match for him, riddled with a fever or not.

"lee jeno," you warned.

"[full name]," he returned.

you clicked your tongue. you were too dizzy to get angry, but the rumbling inside your chest sounded anyway so you wouldn't be so overwhelmed by the boys' relentless care that you forget you didn't like this nor want this, that this wasn't ideal for you.

"please leave," you asked. "i don't need help."

"no. we're coming in whether you like it or not, [name], so give it up," donghyuck mentioned as he gently brushed past you into the apartment. "and before you ask–no, we are not leaving. we got our phones, and we brought movies. we also have to take care of you, so we got plenty to do here. we won't get bored."

you rolled your eyes as the rest of the boys followed behind. kicking their shoes off and placing them neatly to the side, they slowly began acting as if they were back in their humble abode.

donghyuck headed over to the coffee table before your couch. he grimaced at the sight of falling blankets and unorganized pillows as he placed the bag on the surface, then he turned to renjun, "renjun, where do we put the soup?"

"not on the coffee table, take it to the kitchen!" renjun exclaimed as he pointed aimlessly at a spot.

donghyuck listened. as he made his way to your open kitchen, he began rambling off. "you know, i can't believe you didn't tell us you were sick. i knew something was up when you were absent for more than a day!"

renjun nodded in agreement as he crossed his arms, looking to you with a semi-displeased expression. "he is right. we are all friends here, you should tell us if you need some help."

just having them around your apartment was enough to make you want to jump out the window. it was nothing personal against the boys, though. you would have felt the same with just about anybody who dared enter your territory when you felt uncomfortable. but the way they never stop talking—ugh, it made you want to end it altogether so you didn't have to listen to their voices overlap each other in such annoying frequency.

"if i needed help, i would have asked," you dragged out through gritted teeth.

donghyuck snickered from the sink, rolling his sleeves up and getting ready to do the unclean dishes. "oh yeah, that's why you have no clean bowl and spoon to use!"

"also, why are all your stuff here on the couch, [name]?" jeno complained as he picked up your heavy blankets in his arms. he popped his head out from the side and eyed you. "i'll take them back to your room, you should stay in bed!"

jaemin leisurely approached the coffee table, his face was bland with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his pants. despite acting like he didn't want to be here, his curiosity to know whether you were doing well alone was killing him inside; you weren't, it appeared. he gazed around your apartment with feign disinterest before an opened box caught his eyes.

bending down to pick up the medicine, he furrowed his brows and turned to you. "these aren't doctor prescribed medicine."

ignoring the drowsiness in your eyes, you looked at the displeasure on jaemin's face before you sighed, "i didn't see a doctor."

"you what?" jaemin exclaimed in disbelief while the rest of the boys gasped in what sounded to be disapproval.

there it went. there came the wave of complaints and disagreement piling out of their mouths like rainwater flooding into the ditch. the migraine in your head magnified the more frustration built up inside you, trying to force you to explode on the boys who only meant well.

"yes, i didn't visit a doctor. stop making a big deal out of it," you retorted, straining your voice to make yourself heard. "do you know how expensive an appointment at the clinic is?"

"still! it's always better to visit a doctor!" renjun pointed out softly.

the others agreed with him like dominos, opinions falling on top of each other in the form of noises. you closed your eyes in hopes to cancel their presence, but they've been talking nonstop it felt impossible to ignore them.

their voices were adding to your nausea, too many words to understand and to process that you felt useless not being able to retain their words as quickly as usual. it made you want to vomit, it made your chest tighten, it made your tummy hurt.

"god... please... shut up," you muttered under your breath as you glared at the floor. "shut up... stop talking... stop talking!"

the heat burst.

"[name]..." jaemin began cautiously, dropping the empty box of pills on the table as he eyed you sturdily.

you grimaced; your lips quirking down in guilt and your eyes darting elsewhere but their faces. seeing their innocent, good-intentioned, widened eyes would just make you feel like a bad person more than anything. shaking your head, you waved your hand at them dismissively and proceeded to turn away.

"thank you for coming, but please leave because i don't need your help," you said, "i'm gonna go to bed. lock the door when you leave."

the boys watched you move back to your room slowly, still surprised at your sudden outburst. they half-expected something like this to happen, but not exactly the way it turned out. they did come here fully prepared to be kicked out kindly knowing well your inability to accept aid from others, but the event has taken a turn for even worse, it seemed. they had not expected you to yell at them.

donghyuck turned away from the sink, his confused gaze darting between the door to your bedroom and the rest of his friends. "we're not actually leaving, right?"

"no, but we will leave them alone," jeno mumbled, fiddling with his fingers. "for now, at least."

jaemin's eyes trailed after your steps and they have yet to tear themselves away from your bedroom door.

he knew you well, better than the rest of his friends if he could say so. even though you might have meant what you said, you wouldn't do anything if they refuse to listen. and the consequences of adhering to your request and leaving you alone when you just did something you didn't want to would outweigh those of them not listening to you.

you don't need help, you never ask for them, whatever reason that was. but you do want them when they were presented to you. he knew that much, at least.

"jaemin, where are you going?" jeno asked when he saw his friend shuffling across the small living room.

nobody talked when jaemin moved to your room and knocked on your door. he pushed it open without waiting for your permission, and the stifled cries stayed beneath the walls unknown to the outsiders. he softened at the sight of you helplessly rubbing your tears with your forearm, wanting nothing more than to coddle you, but he leaned against the door instead.

"feeling bad now, are we?" jaemin said to catch your attention.

your head hurt, the pain was piercing. but nothing shattered you more than realizing you were a bad person for refusing help from good people who cared about you, realizing the mortifying cycle of loneliness you cannot thrust yourself out of because you could not accept any form of good social interaction. you were never one to cry from those whimsical things, you were used to it, but the thought of your friends shuffling out of your apartment and leaving the area dead cold made you cry.

you still have them now, but for how long, really? how many more "leave me alone" and "i don't want your help" would they take until they truly leave you alone for good?

you sobbed out breathlessly, your words continuously getting cut off against your will. eventually, you made out a sentence.

"jae-jaemin, my head hurts."

like a sharp shot through his heart, jaemin wavered and crumbled. he wasn't sure if this kind of melting was good, but he was taking the ache along with him. he approached you swiftly and sat down on the edge of your bed, a spoiled gaze dawning within his eyes while he moved his hand to your head, threading his fingers through your hair and messaging your scalp.

"try going to sleep, it'll help," he coaxed.

the more you cried, the more he sunk himself onto your bed. he kept his head high up against the headboard of your bed, and he let you snuggle close against his side for comfort. your head hastily leaned against his chest, fat tears rolling down your cheeks as you tried to focus on the rhythm of which he scratched your head dotingly.

"shhh, it's okay," he hushed, reaching his free arm over you to pat your back. "it's going to be okay."

jaemin was always so kind. everyone was always so kind. with their homemade soup, their refusal to abandon you at a tough spot, their snark remarks against your constant attacks, their nagging and coaxing—they were your friends.

you never knew why it took so much effort to get it into your head that they were going to be here whether you wanted them to or not. when you pushed them away, they would push back ten times harder, however many times they needed to. they knew you hated blatant affection so they never show it, nor do they make you show it, but it was here. flowing between their heads was love, discreet love, love that sat in patience, understanding, and stubbornness.

you pack a mean punch, but they could take it.

"jaemin... how are they doing?"

jaemin looked up from your sleeping face to find donghyuck at the door. his hands were wet from messing around in the kitchen, and he wiped them clean on his pants as he quietly approached the bed to take a peek at you. he raised his brow when he saw your face smushed against jaemin's chest and hidden under your arm, then he signed.

sleeping, huh. good. he heard you cry from outside a while ago, everyone did. nobody said anything about it and the living rooms were hushed quieter until your sobs gradually calmed down.

"are you going to stay here?" donghyuck asked after he pulled away. "you might get sick."

"yeah," jaemin nodded down at you, "i might."

donghyuck pursed his lips together, then he shrugged. "alright, i'll leave you then. do you want me to turn the lights off?"

"no, i don't want to fall asleep," jaemin said, stroking your head gently. then he nudged his chin toward donghyuck. "i do want my phone though."

donghyuck scoffed when he was by the door. he was only gonna turn the lights off because it would help you, so if that wasn't needed...

"interesting," he said. "i'm not your errand boy, though. you can stay bored."

jaemin held back a hiss when donghyuck ran out to the living room. he grimaced after the opened door, eyes wide in annoyance that donghyuck left the lights on and the door open, that irresponsible bastard! and he wouldn't even run to get a phone, which would only take a couple of steps!

turning his attention, he glanced down at you instead and breathed out a sigh. he wasn't going to be on his phone for long anyway, he just wanted to tell jisung and chenle you were doing okay. other than that, he has the plan to stare at you until you wake up—your scrunchy nose and closed puffy eyes were abnormally adorable, he has to admit.

"yeah, i'll get him," jaemin whispered playfully down at you. "we'll get him when you wake up."

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anne-i-write · 4 years

Text

moriarty the patriot headcannons

| requested by anon: “uhhh kinda weird lmao but how would the moriarty bros react to an s/o from the future? (Headcanons) thanks! OwO” |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader

word count: 1355

tw: a few swears, if i’m missing any please let me know!

a/n: i’m so sorry that these are coming out so slow please enjoy!

william: 317 words

please

as soon as you wake up he’ll be staring at you intently

“where am i?”

“durham, england, 1880… and in my room”

it takes you like ten minutes to process everything that’s going on because: “i’m dreaming right??? or did i actually shift???

after finally accepting the fact you indeed did not shift and are not dreaming, you finally looked at the man who had stayed silent during your incoherent ramblings

“you seem more awake now, is it alright if i ask a few questions?”

hhh he’s such a gentleman

you both honestly take this whole time shift thing really well

louis definitely walks in on you two and he’s like,,

“who tf are you and how did you get in”

sdjkfhd pls its so funny when you guys converse

his speaking manner is so refined and yours is just,, yours

but he loves it

he thinks its cute

he comes up with a story for you because there were people who were no doubt going to question how you came into his life

and from there you two hit it off really well

accidentally said you two were to be wed during a conversation and the nobles went insane

when you are on the carriage ride back from the party he apologizes for saying something so out of line

“i wouldn’t mind being married to you, william.”

this man always has something to say but THIS

YOU

he wanted to respond with something witty but you just,, existed and made him melt

“let’s go buy a ring tomorrow then.”

asks you questions about the future

only trivial things, never if his plan works in the long term

but judging by the way you talk about your previous life he can tell that everyone is somewhat equal, except for “the dumbass politicians” you speak about

oh did i mention he picks up your swears too LMAO

louis: 459 words

he’s heading back to his room when you come OUT of his room

“who tf are you, how did you get into this house, and why are you here”

instant kill mode

you think you’re dreaming so you’re like,, ok cool and you tell him most of your life story and he’s like

??????

has never been more dumbfounded in his life

who is this person and what are they wearing and why are they telling me their life story

eventually the rest of the moriarty team gets involved and matters are settled lmao

you all agree that staying in the manor is the best course of action at the moment

louis thinks you’re taking this a little too well so he’s still a little sus of you

like seriously,, the future?? cmon now

the people you’re working for probably made those weird clothes for you

but anyways

you’re helping him clean the house and cook

“this is fun,,, but honestly?? if i have to do this by myself everyday i would cry”

you keep saying this and you know it’s getting annoying for louis but he ISNT TALKING

if you can’t beat em, annoy em

finally gives in

“how did you used to wash clothes in the future?”

and you get this big smile on your face and you start TALKING

you’re so excited that he finally spoke to you

even tho you know you lowkey annoyed him

but you’re talking and louis is like,, huh

you’re talkative, but not annoying at all

you have little stories that make him laugh sometimes

needless to say you both get closer

but it isn’t until one night louis is making rounds around the manor that he passes by your room and hears crying

so he’s worried and he goes into your room

bruh you try pulling that shit where you wipe away your tears and be like “oh i’m okay!”

like,, no u aren’t

louis makes you spill what’s bothering you

“my friends, my family… are they okay? are they looking for me?? they must be so worried”

note that you’ve already been at the moriarty estate for about two months without any word that you can return to your own time

and louis holds you

he teaches you more about the year that you’re currently stuck in and he tries to take your mind off of the bad things

asks william to buy more books to indulge you bc you have some book withdrawals bc “WHAT DO YOU MEAN A TALE FOR THE TIME BEING HASNT BEEN PRINTED YET” followed by a short crying session

he’s a really good boyfriend

you taught him what a boyfriend was and he couldn’t stop thinking about how much society’s view on relationships changed

albert: 579 words

is walking down the streets at night when he sees you barreling down the road in your clothes

you look pretty scathed when you run right into him

“are you alright?”

you’re scared and out of breath but he’s wearing what you can only assume is a uniform of england

he takes you to his place and tries to calm you down

he asks you questions and you tell him everything straight out

you know you look crazy but you couldn’t bring yourself to care

you were just walking back from a friend’s place IN BROAD DAYLIGHT and you felt dizzy and you woke up alone in a dark alleyway

“where are you from?”

you obviously give him your city but he corrects himself

“what year are you from?”

“2019”

doesn’t want to believe you bc you’re all frantic and maybe insane

but your clothes just seem to different for him to brush off the possibility

tells you to sleep it off and gives you his bed

he’s already writing a letter to his brothers that he’s possibly coming back with someone

“ohoho brother albert has a suitor now?”

anyways, albert asks you more questions about your other life as you’re both on the train to durham

albert went out to buy you more fitting clothes before leaving and you couldn’t even repay him

but he tries to get you in a comfortable position so you don’t spiral again

but he’s genuinely nice about it when he finally accepts the fact that you are in fact from the future

funny enough, you both don’t get each others names until you get onto the train

“oh, my name is albert james moriarty”

and you’re briefly like “oh like sherlock’s nemesis” but then you remember that this is only the victorian era

sherlock holmes doesn’t exist, it’s just a coincidence

so you both get to the manor and he introduces you to the moriarty team and this is where you’re like,,

oh my God

this is real and i know the ending

you suddenly want to travel back further in time and never meet them bc they’re all really sweet towards you

and you got attached to them more than you should have

albert notices you’re a little tense so he makes small conversation to get your mind off of things

“i do like to play the piano”

bro

they have a piano delivered to the house to make you feel more comfortable and hopefully keep you occupied

itching and nostalgic (ironic), you play songs from rachmaninoff and joe hisaishi, despite it being from the future

everyone knows chopin so shhh

“that’s beautiful, did you compose that?”

“no, but another composer did, i don’t even think he exists yet”

you’re very adamant on keeping things the same

like,, no i’m not going to tell you how to create a washing machine because i don’t want to mess up the timeline if i do go back to the future

you do get very sad occasionally because you are homesick and being placed in a world where you have only heard stories of is very disorienting

but albert and the boys make up for it

albert always tries to be by your side and if he can get his hands on a piano sheet he’ll buy one for you and see if you already know it

it’s always nice to have them around, but you know the troubles you’ll eventually have to face

moriarty the patriot taglist: @zoehanji

#moriarty the patriot #moriarty the patriot x reader #yuukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #albert james moriarty #albert james moriarty x reader #louis james moriarty #louis james moriarty x reader #william james moriarty x reader #william james moriarty

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introloves · 4 years

Text

my horrible mind just had to come up w something for aone bc god he’s such a mountain of a man. so here we go

approx 1.2k words

corruption kink + obvious size! kink + riding the big boy™️ aone takanobu + mild dacryphilia + fluff + a smidge of soft dom reader

it wouldn’t hurt to ask Aone, right?

your hands wrung nervously against eachother, he was sitting next to you enjoying your company his own hands were preoccupied with his phone, one hand holding it while he navigated instagram with his other pointer finger. it was almost funny how little it looked in his grasp, he occasionally turned it towards you smiling while showing you a cute cat or meme he found particularly funny.

and while your heart burst at the seems everytime he looked at you expectantly in approval or looking to get a laugh out of you... your mind had started to wonder into bad thoughts.

thoughts you felt so guilty about because he looked so innocent next to you, sure he dwarfed you in size, and the veins in his hands made them look extra hot and his bicep was almost the size of your head, and his stomach was so toned and the veins near the waistband of his shorts looked so fucking good, and his thighs, god his thighs...

aone tapped your arm, face looking down at you in confusion, you blinked trying to find your bearings. your heart stuttering from how close he was, lips just barely an inch away from yours, you knew he was wondering if you were okay, being with him you had to read his mind sometimes and that was fine by you.

with a gulp you nodded, “i’m okay.” but he stared in at you, his hand came up to touch your face gently and you almost cried at the tender touch, the guilt eating you alive because not two minutes ago you were fantasizing about how big his dick was, he was obviously gigantic so of course it’d make sense that he was hung... right.

god you were frustrated, both of you were grown, it was okay. you could fantasize about your boyfriend it’s fine, so you mustered up the courage you’d certainly need for this next part.

“actually no i’m not okay.” your voice warbled, hand coming up to lay over his own that was still against your cheek.

“god i’ve been having thoughts about you aone, and i feel bad because i know you might not be ready but they’re eating me alive.”

he balked at that. just what type of thoughts could warrant a reaction from you like that?

“i keep thinking about your dick and how big it probably is, i mean look at you.”

you motioned to his body, he had tensed up considerably and you couldn’t get a read on him.

“im sorry but i just really, really, really wanna ride you.”

a groan from him stopped your rambling, you had never seen him this red, the blush reached the tip of his ears and ran down the back of his neck. his other hand was resting in a fist against his thigh. god he wanted you too, but he wasn’t exactly experienced he was worried about taking care of your needs.

your heart rate shot up once you realized that he looked just as needy as you, a wicked smile spreading on your face.

“would you like that?” you questioned, and he nodded once after a couple beats of silence. he couldn’t meet your eyes, face still red.

there was something about seeing such a big man crumble under your gaze... you wanted to ruin him.

you wasted no time to situate yourself over him, legs burning as your knees his the couch on either side of him. you giggled as his hands hovered over your hips, unsure.

but with one small rut of your hips against his dick they settled against your hips, gripping at the softness that was you.

you purred as you felt just how big he was, exactly what you had been anticipating.

“you’re going to feel so good inside me.”

he felt like you were going to swallow him whole, eyes glinting you were actively trying to lock eyes with his shy ones, lips curling up in a mischievous manner. each drag of your heat against him made him dizzy, he felt winded and silly, he had been worried about satisfying you, but of course you knew what you wanted and he was content with letting you use him however you wanted.

finally you shivered, knowing that it was time to take him properly.

maybe you should have taken your time with him, but you couldn’t imagine he had any complaints with the way he panted against you.

“i’m going to take your dick out.”

at least through your lust addled brain you had the decency to let him know.

making quick work of both your shorts and underwear, you sat down on his thighs.

hnng, he warbled seeing you spread out and naked so close to his dick. strings of your arousal coated the inside of your thighs and were now dripping onto his thighs. he felt like he was going to die, seeing you look down at his dick like that.

it was big, his cock head red in stark contrast to the pale shaft, precome painted him, glistening atop his slit.

with a shiver you wasted no time in finally shifting up.

it felt like you were about to ride a dangerous ride, it was quite silly at how eager you were to hurt yourself, you knew it was going to hurt and yet as you sunk down on him it was all you wanted.

“g-god aone. you’re so big.” you cried.

he could feel the pleasure everywhere, up the base of his skull, down to the tips of his toes, and it was all concentrated where the both of you met. ghhh.

“it fits.” he rasped out, you squealed at the sheer vibration of his voice, you looked him dead in the eye, pulling yourself up to impale him in you over and over. his voice spurring you on.

“it fits, it fits so good.”

“hurts?” he questioned, strained.

“no.”

you couldn’t exactly rack your brain for the tons of other responses you could have given him as you moved up and down.

“good.”

his hands were finally moving to their own accord, gripping at every one of your soft spots.

you don’t think your orgasm had ever come so fast, maybe it was the way he filled you up, stretching you, filling your head and pussy with nothing but him. maybe it was the way he grunted out a singular drawn out fuck.

whatever it was, you came with a shout, hands coming up to grip at his shoulders, face burying into his neck as you sobbed. there were splashes of your cum against him, making you so nice and slippery, making it nice enough for him to slide in and out of you.

he didn’t think as you shook against him, it didn’t take much experience to follow his orgasm, using you to chase that sweet euphoria. aone fucks you with no abandon, tears free falling from the sensitivity and before you know it he has you coming once more, the pleasure not as intense but still deliciously good.

he’s trembling hard, keeping you close to him and crushing you against his arms and chest.

of course there’s no more room for anything else inside you, and his cum leaks hotly down between the two of you.

you both take minutes to recover, giggling when you take notice that both of you had cried through it all.

“I knew you were massive.” you squeaked out as Aone buries his face in your chest to hide his embarrassment.

taglist: @inaflashimagine

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star-trekkin-across-theuniverse · 3 years

Text

5 minutes with Bucky

You’d been pinned down behind a crumbling wall for most of the fighting, unable to even attempt to pick off any of the enemy. The sniper covering you was unbelievable.

“Have you been hit?” Sam’s panicked voice came through your earpiece, and you shook your head before realizing he couldn’t see you.

“The sniper is up on the east tower is unrelenting. I can’t move. They even shot my boot,” you complained. “I need you to take them out. You know, in your spare time.”

Sam’s cackle reassured you. “Let me see if Redwing can take them out.” A few seconds later, the unmistakable sound of the drone exploding made your shoulders tense, and then release in defeat.

“I’m on it,” Bucky growled. Bucky was no fan of yours. He treated you like he found you a burden to the team, and was always short with you. You’d say he was cranky about you, but cranky was a description you reserved for toddlers. Your dislike for one another was mutual.

“Don’t put yourself out. I know I’m just deadweight to you, Barnes,” you growled back.

“Easier to get you to walk out than carry out your sorry ass,” he snarled. There was a grunt, and thud and the distinct rapport of his gun. “Sniper is dead. The sooner you contribute to this clusterfuck, the sooner we can leave.”

You scrabbled up to your knees and peered over the wall, and thankfully, no shots came from the east tower. You dashed between obstacles, keeping hidden, until you were back to the main action, and quickly picked off a few goons. You heard the enemy trying to sneak up on you, but weren’t fast enough to stop the blade that slipped into your back with enough force to prevent you from crying out. Thankfully, your instinct wasn’t to collapse, but shoot the bastard. He slumped at your feet behind you, pulling the blade from your back as he fell. Your tac jacket was tight enough that it compressed the wound, and you fought on until you were able to escape back to the extraction point.

XXX

When the helicopter arrived, you pushed yourself off the tree you were leaning against and dropped heavily onto the floor of the vehicle, grimacing.

“Get us out of here, Sam,” you groaned.

“Hard day’s work, princess?” Bucky rolled his eyes. You flipped him the finger and closed your eyes, trying to think about anything other than the pain in your back.

XXX

“Go hit the showers,” Sam suggested when you landed. You nodded and pushed yourself to your feet, stumbling across the helipad toward door to the stairs. You faltered a little on the top stair, but made your way down to your floor and into your room before you peeled off your uniform and headed toward the shower. You stunk, the mixed fragrance of sweat, blood and whatever chemicals had been in the plant clinging to your skin.

You turned the shower on and stepped in, the heat making you dizzy. You slid down the wall, leaving a trail of blood behind you, and closed your eyes. Just a quick nap in the warmth of the shower, and you would feel tip-top again.

XXX

Bucky squinted in the mark on the floor inside the helicopter. There was a dark stain where you’d been laying. He reached down with his bare hand and rubbed his fingers across the sticky fluid, holding it up to his face. It smelled metallic. It only took a split second to realize it was blood. Your blood.

“Sam! She somehow got hit!” He took off at a run, skipping three and four stairs at a time as he vaulted down to your floor. Using his left side, he smashed through your door. He only paused long enough to hear the shower running, and notice the absence of your usual offkey singing before dashing toward the bathroom.

He pushed into the shower stall and found you. Your blood pooled around the drain, mixing with the water and you were pale. You looked so close to death, he didn’t even notice your nudity, scooping you up in his arms.

You roused just for a moment. “Bucky?”

“Why didn’t you say you’d been hit?” He growled, looking in the mirror to figure out where the blood was coming from. He pressed a towel against the wound and carried you out of your rooms, heading in the direction of the infirmary.

“Buck, I’m naked,” you mumbled.

“Yeah?”

“Why aren’t you? I bet you look amazing. All those muscles. Your abs especially. You should be naked if I’m naked. It’s only fair.” You were rambling. Bucky’s heart jerked, panicking. Rambling was bad.

“Sweetheart, you’re injured.” His voice vibrated against your chest and you leaned into him.

“Just be gentle then,” you murmured before losing consciousness completely.

XXX

It was overwhelmingly bright, making you think maybe you were dead and in some cosmic waiting room. You opened one eye, and squinted against the brightness. You tried to reach up to rub your face, and got caught on something, a sharp quick pain to your hand making you flinch.

“Ow, fuck.”

“You gave us a scare, kid.” Sam’s voice was smooth and soothing.

“I got stabbed.”

“I know,” he laughed. “Hold tight, I’m gonna go get Bucky.”

“Why?”

“Dude is over 100, and you scared another twenty years off him,” Sam laughed. “He’ll want to know you’re awake.”

You opened your eyes and took in the infirmary room. You found the controls on the bed and raised your head, squirming up a little so you weren’t so uncomfortable. You hadn’t noticed Sam leave until Bucky dashed in.

When he saw you sitting up, he stopped and walked the rest of the way to the bedside slowly. He dropped into the seat Sam had vacated and stared you down.

“You should have told us.” His opening was on point.

“As if you care.” There was a cup full of ice chips on your overbed table, and you took a mouthful

“You’re a goddamn idiot, you know that?” he snapped. You choked on your ice, and he jumped up, leaning you forward to pound on your back. You pulled out of his hold, still coughing and threw the cup at him.

“Jesus, Barnes, if you hate me so fucking much, why are you even here?” You pushed him away and he fell back into the chair, looking surprised and hurt.

“Who said I hate you?” He asked, his voice quiet, and for the first time probably ever, gentle.

“Every goddamn mission we go on, you treat me like I’m deadweight that you have to babysit. You’ve made it abundantly clear that you can’t stand me. What I can’t figure out is if it’s because I’m a woman, and you’re some oldtimey gentleman misogynist or if it’s something about me specifically,” you snapped. “You should leave, Barnes. I’m tired.”

Bucky shook his head and leaned forward. “I’m only going to say this once, so make sure you’re listening, princess.”

You closed your eyes, for some reason wanting to cry. “I don’t hate you. You take unnecessary risks in order to prove yourself when you really have nothing to prove, and that scares me. You’re more frustrating than Stevie was. You do crazy shit, and suddenly I can’t breathe because I think you’re going to die.”

You opened your eyes, narrowing them as he spoke.

“And maybe I am a backward old man? I don’t think I am? Nat’s probably the best assassin I’ve ever seen, and she’s a woman. And the Dora, the Dora are the best military unit in the world hands down. I think it’s just you. You bring it out in me -”

“I bring out your World War Two sexist dames are just for keeping at home shit?” You interrupted. Bucky laughed.

“No, princess, you don’t get it. I want to protect you. I want to make sure you come home,” he sighed.

“Why?”

“So that maybe someday I can tell you how much you mean to me,” he blurted out.

“And why would you tell me now?” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

“When I carried you here, you told me you wanted to see me naked. I figure, no one wants to see someone they hate naked, so maybe you have some complicated feelings too,” he shrugged. A single tear rolled down your cheek, and he reached over to wipe it away. “I was scared you might die. And I’d never told you. And you’re the first dame- first woman I’ve felt like this about since I can’t remember when, and -”

“Do you think there’s enough room in this bed for you to climb in?” you interrupted. He dropped his sweatshirt on the chair and kicked off his shoes. You wiggled a little trying to make space for you. He slid in beside you and tucked his arm up behind your neck, allowing you to curl into him.

“We’re idiots, Buck,” you murmured, laying a hand on his chest. He grasped the hand in his and brought it to his mouth, gently kissing your palm.

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wtfevenismypage · 4 years

Text

Safe and Sound

Pairing: Spencer reid x reader

Summary: Reader goes into a coma after being tortured on a case and Reid spends all of his time with her.

Warnings: Abuse/torture, coma, probably a swear word or two

Category: Angst/fluff

A/n:I wrote this really late last night while half asleep, so it isn’t the best quality but oh well, I hope you enjoy!

Pain was the only feeling you had. It wasn't just a feeling, it was also your current emotion. You were ashamed in yourself for being so stupid.

You were moving in on the unsub, thinking it was only one person, you should have been able to take him out, but it was two grown men. Two grown men that took you out instantly.

And now you’re tied up to a chair, a blindfold tight over your eyes.

“Your friends are watching. If you try to send messages you’re dead.”

You smile sadly and look up, revealing your battered face to the men who beat you.

“I’m alright guys. Just look for the victims. I’ll be fine-”

A fist to your face cuts you off, and you let out a yelp as they yank your hair backwards.

“You all have four hours to find her. Every ten minutes we’ll carve two letters into her. If you can’t find her in time, she’s dead.”

A blade is pressed against your neck and you whimper.

The blindfold is torn off of your face and you look around with bleary eyes, observing all you can about the area around you.

An abandoned production warehouse. There’s colorful powder streaked across the walls and floor, so beautiful, yet you knew it would only fuel your nightmares for the next few months.

“You better hurry.”

The tall man behind me presses the blade into my neck, marking a shallow sting of blood on your throat.

“P-please... Please stop.”

The team could only watch in horror as you get beaten, Penelope trying desperately to track the live footage.

A firm hand is resting on Spencer’s shoulder, trying to calm him down as he glares at the screen, tears dripping down his neck.

Thirty minutes pass with no succession of finding Y/n. six letters are carved into you.

D-E-A-T-H-I.

One of the men, the taller one, walks in front of you and pinches your cheeks together.

“We’re going out, but we’re watching you. If you try and send any messages to them, We have deadly gas in the vents waiting to be released. Behave.”

They walk out, but not before punching you in the stomach, the rough leather of their gloves rubbing against your carved skin.

“Please... Guys they’re going to kill again... I... I don’t think I’m gonna make it. If... If anyone is watching this, please, Tell the rest of the team I love you all. Penelope, please keep being yourself, never lose the light that you have, it’s a beacon for others.”

Penelope’s eyes overflowed with tears as the team watches you bleed out more and more with every breath.

“Rossi, you gotta get out more man, get yourself a woman to love. There’s someone out there for you, you’ll find her soon.”

Rossi turns his head, not wanting to cry at your words.

“Emily, You are the strongest woman I know, please don’t lose your persistence. JJ, Tell Henrey I said Hi okay? You’re so brave, don’t let anyone push you around. Morgan, You keep fighting for what’s right and don’t you dare give up, the world needs you bud.”

“Hotch, it’s alright to take breaks, this team is strong, they’ll survive if you take a cheat day. You have to give yourself a chance to breath okay?”

Even Hotch himself had a tear dripping down his cheeks as you let out broken sobs, almost screaming as the pain in your stomach starts to make you dizzy.

“Spencer... Oh god Spencer... I’m so sorry... I should have waited for you to come up... I’m so sorry...”

““But if I’m... If I’m gonna die then I have to tell you... I have to tell you that I love you. I’m in love with you...”

You look around, looking at the corner where a pile of spilt boxes on the floor, Makeup palettes shattered across with broken eyeshadow on the floor.

“It was a few months ago in December, it was a cold night.” You desperately send them hints. “You had given me an eyeshadow palette. I was upset that day, and slowly, I forgot about it. But I came across it recently. I’m so sorry that I never told you. I love you Spencer... I love you so much.”

The team watches Spencer, waiting nervously as his eyebrows are furrowed together.

“I never bought her an eyeshadow palette...”

Everyone’s eyes widen.

“Garcia look for abandoned eyeshadow palette factories within a fifty mile radius.”

Hotch demands as Morgan sits Spencer down.

“Take a breath, we’ll save her.”

“Morgan, I love her too, if she dies, it’s my fault, I didn’t make it to her in time...”

“Hey kid, don’t do that to yourself, she’ll make it.”

Spencer continues to think about all the times you two had together. You were the only person who listened to his rambling, you actually listened and you liked it. You and him told each other everything, your deepest darkest secrets.

He couldn’t survive without you, there was no way. You helped him when he had nightmares, you made him coffee, you truly held his heart in your hands.

“There’s a match! 68738 Raney Street! Go get my baby!”

Reid is off in a bolt with Emily and Hotch following right behind him.

The men return to the ware house, flipping knives in their hands.

“Looks like it’s time for some letters.”

“Can’t we just finish the message? Please baby?”

The tall man sighs before crouching in front of you, pulling your shirt up and place the knife right under your boob before pressing it in, making you scream out.

“Please! Please stop!”

Your breathing is labored, the blood draining from your body quickly as he continues to slice into you like a stick of butter.

The last thing you hear before passing out is the sound of bells ringing in your ears.

“Please...”

You wake up with a pounding headache, you can’t open your eyes or move any limbs, but you can hear voices talking.

“The nurse said she had a few complications before they could get her to surgery, her heart stopped twice, but they managed to stabilize her.”

It was Penelope, you could tell by the sigh that followed she was talking with Morgan.

“What did they... What did they cut into her?”

His voice was shaky, it made your eyes tear up even when closed, and you could feel the itch slip out of your eye as Penelope speaks.

“They said death is the beginning.”

“And he’s been there since she got out of surgery?”

“He refuses to leave. The nurses told him he had to leave but he wouldn’t budge. It’s been three days. I don’t think he’s eaten...”

Another sigh from Morgan.

Your body is numb, gentle pins and needles spread all throughout your senses. More tears slip through the tiny slits of your closed eyes, dripping down to your ears.

“She’s crying... Probably a nightmare...”

Silence. You can feel yourself drifting back to sleep slowly, the gentle beep of your heart rate putting you to ease as your breathing slows down.

“I can’t believe she went through that torture for four days...”

Had it really been four days? It felt like a life time had passed from being taken from your team.

As you drift into a deep sleep, you can only relive the horrors as you remain unable to wake up.

The next time you awaken, you still can’t move or even blink, your throat dryer than before, pools of sweat at your thighs. You’re able to feel a hand clutching yours though, it’s slender and bony, long fingers squeezing yours tightly.

“You might be able to hear me, and if you can, we uh... We saved you Y/n. You’re safe now.”

Spencer.

You wanted to smile and throw your arms around his neck, but your limbs feel like lead, the heaviest lead in the world and you just can’t lift them up.

“I love you too Y/n. I love you so much. But it’s been eight days since you got to the hospital... Please wake up so I can tell you how much I love you.”

A pair of lips presses against your forehead. It tickles, warm breath from his nose gliding over your skin as he finally pulls away.

“Wake up soon Y/n...”

You slip in and out of consciousness like that for the next few weeks, listening to Spencer’s stories of the team’s current case, and relaxing to classical music as he reads books aloud to you.

They were books you loved too, fictional books about space pirates and cheesy rom-coms. You were so grateful too him, hoping you could move sometime soon so you can kiss him.

One day the nurse came in to talk with Spencer.

“Her state isn’t improving, she hit her head pretty hard when you found her, we don’t know how long it’ll be until she wakes up.”

You wanted to fight for him. You wanted to open your eyes and look at his beautiful face, you wanted to be able to hold him in your arms. So when his hand returns to your’s, you try your hardest to squeeze his hand, to let him know you’ll survive.

It takes all of your energy, but briefly, very briefly, your hand clenches softly, and you can feel his hand tense up.

“She squeezed my hand!”

With those words you swiftly passed out.

Spencer squeezed your hands days after that, it had been almost three months now, and a few days since you held his hand.

Your disheveled state was slowly improving, your sunken cheeks and deep eyebags now gone, but you still weren't waking up.

“So I brought a children’s book today, I thought you would like it.”

He begin’s reading to you, squeezing your hand every few seconds to hopefully gain some sort of reaction from you.

But once again, nothing.

“Please wake up soon princess...”

You strain your muscles harder than you ever had to before, trying so hard to tap your fingers on his hand in the tune of the distant piano playing in the background.

One finger twitches on his skin, bouncing up and down to the beat of the piano, the rest of your fingers following suit.

A gasp escapes his lips.

“Princess? Are you awake?”

How the hell do you think I’m gonna answer that Spencer you dumb-

“Oh wow princess, You’re awake! Um, Uh, Okay, I need to go get a doctor, keep your fingers tapping okay? Doctor!”

You keep tapping your sore fingers, listening to Spencer and the doctor panicking about what to do.

But then, You’re eyes slowly flutter open, the blinding light impaling your irises as the sound of Spencer’s crying fills your ears.

“Good morning Agent Y/l/n, you’ve been sleeping for a while now, I’m gonna help you sit up okay?”

You do your best to nod as the female doctor moves the hospital bed upwards, allowing you to lock eyes with Spencer.

“Sp... Spence...”

Your voice comes out broken and shattered, only a semblance of a croak, but he leans in and wraps his arms around you, making you feel safe and secure.

“Hey princess, I missed you so much.”

He presses a kiss to your head again, letting his tears fall onto your hands, which he’s held against his cheeks.

“I... I love...”

“Shhhh, I know princess, I know, just relax now alright? You’re safe and sound.”

“I love you...”

“I love you too.”

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blanknamed · 4 years

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trial and error pt. 2 [senku x reader]

NOT ME FORGETTING TO POST CHAPTER TWO LMAOOO SORRY HERE IT IS THO

SHIPPING: SENKU X READER

PREMISE: [Name] had always known Senku was a little bit of an oddball but that’s what made him so interesting to her as children. Now in the Stone World, he’s only even more interesting what with his claims about shooting up to a million years worth of technology back, but some things never change with him; specifically on the concept of love. As a way to get him to think about it as something other than “disgusting feelings” she proposes for him to think of it differently, though it seems to be going in a direction she never expected.

PART ONE - PART TWO - PART THREE

{–*–}

CHAPTER TWO: CONTEMPLATION

How did I get myself into this situation? [Name] asked herself desperately, watching Ruri shuffle around her hut, staring at the dresses given by the village women lined up neatly on the floor. She held up a blue dress [Name]’s way, who only stared at the shortened skirt. Just the look alone was enough for Ruri to understand that she didn’t like it, causing her to giggle at the reaction.

“You don’t seem to be happy about this even though you were the one who gave Senku the idea.” Ruri stated as she kneeled behind her to start braiding [Name]’s unruly hair.

“Just because I gave him the idea doesn’t mean I wanted to be his little test subject.” [Name] groaned. An unreadable look passed Ruri as she watched the younger girl’s growing discomfort. If she was even more redder, she would’ve matched what she had looked like a few hours ago.

“Huh?” [Name] asked as she stared at Senku, who only looked at her pointedly. Quickly, blood rushed on every part of her face as she started stutter. “Wha--I--you did not just say what I thought I heard you say.”

“What part did you not understand?” Senku asked dismissively, talking as if he hadn’t just asked out his childhood friend on a date. “I might as well take you on one to get good feedback. No one else gives any as specifc as you.”

Feedback.

The word kept repeating in [Name]’s head, almost making her dizzy. What did she expect, though? She told him, a scientist, to treat it like an experiment. Test a hypothesis. She was pretty sure he only wanted to take her in particular because (1) he wanted good feedback, like he had said, and (2) if there was even a slight chance he was going to take another girl on a date, Senku was going to force [Name] to come along to examine and analyze. Which was, by common sense, not really going to be a date.

“Oi, you don’t say that to a girl, especially if you just asked her out.” Chrome called out, punching Senku on the shoulder. “Not to mention isn’t that a breach in--what was it? Ethnics? Right?”

“Ethics.” Gen corrected before nodding in confirmation, looking at the two friends. “There’s a lot of things that could go wrong because you’re not following the right rules here, Senku-chan. Wouldn’t it be better to just pair up two different villagers who are single and see how romance can be attainable from there?”

[Name] could see slight movements from her side, where a few of the younger villagers turned a hue of pink as they glanced at one another, probably thinking about the prospect of being one of Senku’s experiements. Seeing that the benefits outweighing the negative prospects (not getting injured in any way possible, no one being able to see them except possibly Senku, and the prospects of a lover), it looked like a few of them were already making the decision to be part of it.

But this was Senku. He wasn’t about to play matchmaker if he himself couldn’t even find a reason to think that love wasn’t some illogical construct to fill up human loneliness. She wasn’t the only who was thinking that, though, as Kohaku spoke up.

“But this is about Senku thinking he can’t have those types of feelings so its gonna have to be him.” She replied blandly. “[Name] was probably chosen because he wants her to be there to watch him for any signs, regardless if its here being taken on a date or not.”

“That and she proposed the idea so she’s going to do it.” Senku piped up, sending [Name] a teasing grin.

[Name], burning even redder, stuttered some more. “You-You’ve got to be kidding me Senku. This must be some type of joke. I only said that to make conversation.”

“It was an interesting conversation and a weird statement that I wanna experiment on. Nothing less expected from you, though, [Name].” Senku replied as he kept slurping at the last of his ramen. “Besides its not like you have anything to do tonight.”

“Yeah, but--wait, tonight? Don’t you have get things in order--start out a claim, set up the experiment?” [Name] rambled, now even more confused.

Kohaku met Chrome’s eyes with a deadpanned expression. Leave it to [Name] to treating it like an actual experiment and finding the faults. Though, Senku wasn’t usually one to leave out so many variables that could ruin the experiment.

“These are special cicumstances; have you ever participated in your own experiments? Adjustments will be made, yeah, but we might as well start it today and talk about it during the date. Just meet me by the bridge tonight. We’ll go to the field, go on a date, and then you can report to me anything you saw. Sound good? Cool. Now lets get back to work.” Senku said, standing up dusting off his pants, leaving a bewildered [Name] and possibly most of the village in his wake.

If it hadn’t been for a few of the village women, [Name] wouldn’t have been pulled out of her daze and internal panic. She’s had crushes on boys, yeah, but going on a date? Not really. She was too busy with school and helping her mother out at the store. There were a few times where she had almost gone on a one, but something always made her call in for a raincheck and then never proceeding afterwards.

But here she was 3,700 years later, sitting in a priestess’s hut, getting ready to go on a date with the world’s biggest asshole.

Kohaku had been the one to think about bringing the younger girl up to Ruri, explaining what had went down. Surprisingly, the village priestess was the least bit shocked about the events, deciding to (calmly) agree anyways to help relieve some of the immense stress [Name] was feeling. At the mention of Ruri helping created some domino effect with the village women, all offering to help [Name] get ready, much to her dismay.

“Its not like Senku’s gonna make the effort to dress nicely. I swear he wouldn’t have showered if I hadn’t made Chrome and Kinro drag him to the river a few days ago! Not to mention he’s only doing this to prove a point; that’s why he’s rushing it so quickly. So I really don’t think all of you should be treating this as anything special.” [Name] tried to reason as she watched the women pull up rope-like jewelry up to her body.

Kohaku scoffed. “Its not like boys know how to take care of themselves in the first place. I’m pretty sure one of the men in the village has his head screwed on properly or most likely Gen is gonna make him dress up just a little bit. Not to mention if this is an experiment then he’s most likely not trying to botch it to just prove a point.”

“Then why was he being so… So…” [Name] trailed off, not quite putting a word on it.

“Adamant?” Ruby offered as she held up a pretty necklace with a jewel attached to it.

“Excited?” Garnet said next as she pushed her chin up to spread something on her mouth. Lipstick? [Name] inquired. I guess the need for makeup never changes after so many years.

“Not really excited but--hold on, didn’t you three want to go on a date with Senku? I thought you’d be mad or something.” [Name] stated, clearly remembering the usual formula of girl’s behaviors during the modern era. It usually involved in some type of “she said he said” situation, where rumors ensued. At the very least, the three sisters should have been upset with her for Senku’s selection in dates.

Sapphire shrugged as she plucked at [Name]’s baggy dress. “We were for a few hours, but we might as well help since you look like you don’t know the first thing about going on a date.”

“Wha--Hey!” [Name] retorted, offended before backtracking. I mean, it’s not like they’re wrong.

“Maybe he actually likes you.” Kohaku suggested as she sat across from [Name]. Silence filled the room as all the girls stared at them. A moment passed between the two girls as they looked at one another until [Name] bursted out laughing, almost smearing her cheek against the lipstick hovering in front of her.

“Not possible. I’m pretty sure he sees me more of a germ than a person. Not to mention he’s never really found the girls in his own grade--the ones older than me--attractive so what’s the likely chance he sees me that way?” She asked when she stopped. She recalled a rumor swirling around the school about Senku rejecting over 10 girls during Valentine’s Day, all of them varying in popularity and looks.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, [Name]-san.” Ruri commented as she held another dress up to her, this one looking a little more decent. “You’re easily one of the prettiest girls here.”

“Don’t make me laugh again…” [Name] mumbled to herself, flinching when she felt Sapphire poke at her waist once again. “Oi, why are are you poking me?”

“I’m trying to see what your shape is like so we can let you try on one of the dresses.” Sapphire replied, pouting. “Why do you have to wear such baggy clothes?”

“Practicality.” Was the only response [Name] gave as she tried to keep still when makeup was being put on her.

“That’s a lame excuse. I bet you’re just hiding the fact you have small boobs.”

“My boobs have nothing to do with my clothes. Besides, small boobs or not, it shouldn’t matter what people think about them--!” [Name] yelled out, embarrassed, as a dress was thrown onto her lap.

It was blue, like most of the villager’s clothing, but it seemed more simple and less body-hugging like most of the clothes. It flowed down near the bust, where it had folded nicely around it to adjust to anyone wearing it. The sleeves were puffy and ended where her biceps began, looking kind of like neatly made muffins. Instead of a rope, a thin piece of cloth of the same color was tied to the front, giving a nice, simple finish for the clothing.

If Mom was still alive, she’d probably be looking at how well done this dress was with just a simple loom and needle. [Name] thought as she marveled at the tiny needlework near the waist, creating tiny little flowers near the top. Looking up, she met Ruri’s gentle smile. “That should fit you since one of the village women is identical to your body shape. Now, lets get you dressed; you have to meet up with Senku soon.”

PREVIOUS PART - NEXT PART

#senku ishigami x reader #senku x reader #dr. stone senku #senku ishigami #ishigami senku #ishigami senku x reader #ishigami senku fanfic #fanfiction #ishigami senku fanfiction #senku ishigami fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #ao3 work #arielle's fics

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springalwayscomes · 4 years

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널 너무나도 사랑해 (I love you so much)

Plot: Taehyung has been stressing himself over your unhappiness for so much, and everybody knows that when you feel low he feels the same. This Christmas doesn’t feel joyful or familiar until you realize you’re spending it with the most important person. And when you do, Taehyung can’t hold back how desperate he is been for you anymore.

P.S. You should probably thank Namjoon and Hoseok.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Soft Smut, Established Relationship

Wordcount: 3k

Content Warning: Taehyung is a needy moaning mess and I sincerely hope it will break you at least half of how much it broke me - in a god way -, dirty talk, praise, swearing, hand job

Author’s Note: This, this one is my favorite work of the Life Goes On Project, and I really hope you’ll like it too. I melt every single time I think about this fic, I just love it. Hope you all had a great Christmas Eve and will have a great Christmas, consider this as my third little gift.

P.S. the bolded words mean that someone is speaking English

«Jagi»

Even that cloud looks lonelier than ever this Christmas, still in the center of the blue sky without any others nearby. It makes you hold your breath, knowing that it’s almost as lonely as you. Even though you have Taehyung here with you, Christmas without family and friends hits just differently, instead of bringing laughters and joy it only reminds you of how awful this quarantine is.

«Y/N»

Taehyung sits on the floor at your side, but you don’t even turn to look at him as he lightly rubs your back with his hand, his beautiful long fingers tapping your skin from time to time. He can’t say that this situation doesn’t hit him, but seeing you so gloomy makes it even harder. Christmas shouldn’t be like this. You should be laughing and having fun, feeling warm and at home, and the fact that he’s there with you but you seem to feel as lonely as if he wasn’t only makes him frown.

«You’ve got me»

It’s all he says, he doesn’t need other words to make you look at him. And when you do so- oh, finally. You’ve been feeling so sad these last days that you’ve locked yourself up and unintentionally made it look like you didn’t care about him, of how he was feeling too. Now that you look into his eyes, you can clearly see how Taehyung is feeling and it suddenly hits you how insensitive you’ve been. He tried to talk to you every time he could but the conversation never led anywhere, you were too self centered on the upcoming day that you didn’t notice at all how he was feeling and just pushed him away, even though he clearly kept on trying.

Taehyung slightly smiles as he keeps moving his hand, his dark eyes seem more peaceful now that he finally got your attention in three days of trying.

«I’m sorry,» you whisper «for being so selfish and too self centered. You’ve been trying to-»

«It doesn’t matter» he cuts you off. Getting up and then joining you on the sofa Taehyung crawls on the pillows and stops in front of your bent legs, his hands place on your knees and guides you to extend them only for him to put himself comfortable in between, with his head on your chest and his long legs stretched out on the pillows of the sofa. You rest your head on the armrest and your hands reaches his hair without even thinking about it twice, Taehyung lets out a sigh of relief at the familiar touch, almost as if he have missed it so much he couldn’t bare it anymore. His response to your touch makes you feel even more sorry for your behavior these last days and you wrap your free arm around his chest holding him closer and close to you, your chin resting on his head as he closes his eyes. He missed this, having you so close and your light touch, especially during this time of the year. You’re not used to spend Christmas alone, but neither does he. He just needed you as much as you need him now.

«I should have cared more about you, instead I just pushed you away»

Taehyung’s head tilts back as if he wants to look at you but his eyes are still closed as he shakes his head lightly, relaxed under your continuous touch. When he stops, he pursues his lips in a silent ask for a kiss and you can’t help yourself at the sight, Taehyung with his eyes shut and his lips begging just for you. Reaching down you only manage to peck his nose, action that makes the both of you giggle as he turns his head to meet your lips with his. At the beginning it’s light, soft as if you both discover each other again, it almost seems like years since the last time you kissed in this way. Butterflies making their way back in your stomach and his little moan in your mouth when he realizes you’re kissing him again, a moan of relief. It only takes you both a few seconds to decide you’ve been missing each other too much to hold yourselves back.

His tongue in your mouth starts moving in a deeper manner, hearing his breath becoming heavier instantly signs the beginning of your wetness, the groans that follow only make it more obvious. His uneven breath hits your skin every time you part only to meet again, a second later immediately coming out from his nose. Taehyung is needier than ever, he had stressed himself over yours and his happiness the last few days - thinking of how he could’ve light up the atmosphere to make you feel happier - that all he wants to do now is take all you have to give. His dick is already half hard and the way you moan when he bites your lower lip only makes it twitch and stand more.

«I missed you,» his voice his husky and weary, «so much jagiya»

«I know, I’m sorry» you kiss him again. Your tongues are hot in each other’s mouth, the feeling of his lips on yours, the neediness of both giving you away to each other is enough to make those words even deeper.

«You needed me and-»

«I need you now» his low, husky voice cuts your rambling off. He’s on the edge, eyes begging you to do something and lips still brushing yours as he looks at you with his pupils dilated. Your heart stops beating at the way he’s staring at you, so needy and eager for something - anything -.

«Okay» you whisper, hot air fanning his face as you let your hands travel down on his abdomen and under his jumper. Taehyung doesn’t have sculpted six pack, but you love it like this. You love to feel his soft skin, silk under your touch, the goosebumps taking over him on the path that you trailed. His head rests on your shoulder, his eyes fall shut as he desperately tries to even his breath. He missed you so much, so freaking much.

«Are you comfortable like this?» you whisper again.

It feels like Christmas for the first time only now. Having him so desperate for your touch that his body is limp on yours, with his back on your chest and his heavy breath in your ear, hearing every gulp coming from his throat makes you realize how much this man loves you. And it’s only now that you realize you’re dying to make him feel good, you want to give him the best orgasm he’s ever had. It’s so erotic seeing him so needy and already wrecked for you that your panties are already soaked, totally. Only for him.

«Mh» Taehyung doesn’t even have enough strength to talk, he just lets out a broken whine as he slightly nods and falls limp on your shoulder again.

«Now, relax»

Your fingers open the button of his boxy pants, his cock is so hard that it aches and Tae buries the back of his head deeper in your shoulder when you help him lift his hips so that you can slide his pants down. You raise his jumper too and hold your arms tight around him when you feel him shiver because of the cold, your fingers tracing the muscles of his abdomen, light touch and soft moans coming from TaeTae at every movement. It’s so beautiful to see him so fragile just for your own eyes, totally trusting and giving himself to you, it makes you want to show your love for him even deeper, show him that he can really trust you. If he’d give his life to you and you had to choose between yours and his you’d gladly let go of yours without blinking an eye.

«Mh, please» his voice his broken and whiny but you still manage to catch his words. And God, does it send you crazy hearing him begging for you in English. It sends shivers down your spine and you turn your face better to place hot wet kisses all over the expanse of his neck. Taehyung moans like he can’t ever get enough of you, your light touch, your kisses, your love. And when your fingertip meets his nipple he ends up biting his lower lip emitting a guttural moan that sends your mind in a different place, the sound is so erotic that all you want to do is make him cum for the rest of your life just to hear it again and again and again.

«English, ah?» you murmur in his ear, kissing the lobe and sucking it in your mouth as he squeezes his eyes. Your lips trail down on his neck again, placing on his soft spot and sucking it as you swirl your thumb around his nipple. His mouth falls open, his cock twitches in his boxers and all he wants to do is beg you to make him cum already.

«Please, jagiya.» he lets out, eyes still shut. Your mouth suddenly dries out as your hot breath hits the skin of his neck, deciding that you want to make him cum hard enough that he’ll feel dizzy, make him feel so good.

«Alright» you place a soft kiss on his cheek, different from the others. I got you, it says. And Taehyung moans even deeper at the meaning behind it, feeling so incredibly loved and safe.

Your hands finally travel down his abdomen, again helping him lifting his hips and bringing his boxers on his tights. His cock jumps out immediately and hits his lower stomach with a dull sound, Tae holds back a groan. It only takes you a second, your hand is already trying to close unsuccessfully around his shaft, he’s too thick.

Taehyung slightly moves his head on your shoulder, opening his eyes and looking at the scene in front of him, your pretty thumb now reaching his slit. There’s so much precum coming out that Tae feels his cheeks burn just for a second, the next one you’re touching him and that feeling his already long forgotten.

«I love you, so much» you whisper as you circle your thumb on his cock head «so much»

His eyes close again, but this time he scoots his head closer to your neck, nuzzling his nose onto your skin and placing a wrecked hot kiss on it.

«I love you» his voice is broken, it makes you lower your movements on his shaft. Slow and maddening, that’s how they can be described. Your hand wrapped around him and your other one trailing back on his chest to tease his nipples, Taehyung’s face completely hidden in your neck, almost as if the closer he is to you the safest he feels. The scene is breathtaking and all you can do is surrender to his pleasure, wanting nothing but make him feel good.

«Faster?»

«Oh- yes»

Taehyung is already wrecked and when you fasten your movements all he can do is moan, moan and moan again. Who says that man don’t do that? God, his moans are something else, so erotic and sexy that they make you tighten your hold on him even more. His breath that continually hits your skin stops for a second as he takes in the new squeeze around him, and a second later he’s sucking the skin of your neck as he desperately tries not to moan louder that he is already doing.

«Fuck, fuck»

God- the effect he has on you when he swears in english.

«I- You’re gonna- I’m gonna cum so hard»

His balls are already tight, he’s already close and it’s all because of you. Another wet kiss is left on your skin before he parts from your neck, letting his head tilt back on your shoulder and his mouth fall open.

«Gosh- Tae, you’re so beautiful»

You watch him desperate in pleasure, silenced moan coming out of his mouth. You know what happens when he does that, what’s next.

You fasten your pace even more, your other hand reaching his balls to massage them.

«Ja- jagiya»

It’s too much, and Taehyung almost feels about to cry. All his senses are full of you, and he just can’t hold back anymore.

«Kiseu hae- kiss me, please»

He’s not lucid enough, mixing Korean and English in a unique plead that makes your heart flutter both for his desperate tone and his need for your lips.

Your lips touch his in a second, muffling his whines and moans and feeling them right in your mouth as you keep moving your hand. Taehyung is close, so freaking close he can already taste his high.

«It’s yo- yours, my cock i- is yours» his lips brush against yours as his trembling voice comes out «I’m yours»

He gulps harshly and moans in your mouth when your thumb teases his frenulum, sweat creating on his forehead, just a step away from his release.

«And I’m yours, Tae. Only yours» you murmur, kissing his lips again and biting the lower one just a little bit. His heart is beating so loud that he feels like it might burst out any second, full of you.

«Please cum baby, cum for me»

His head tilts back on your shoulder, mouth falling open once again and edging moans coming out.

«Tell- tell me you love me» he pleads, desperate for release.

Your answer is immediate, placing kisses all over his neck, covering as much of it as you can.

«I love you, Tae. Saranghae. So much, neol neomunado saranghae»

Those words are his ticket to heaven, trembling body finally letting go and hot spurs of white cum staining his chest and your hand as you keep stroking him to ride his orgasm. You can’t hear his breath for a few seconds, he gulps more than once and stays as still as a rock as you keep kissing his neck and cover him with nothing but love, fondness, affection. Then, his heavy breath fills the air, and god- saying that he looks wrecked it’s not even close to the look on his face. Sweat on his forehead and messy dark locks, cheeks red, eyes shut and lips totally open as the aftershocks of his orgasm still hit him.

«I really love you,» you murmur on his neck «I’m sorry I pushed you away»

The silence fills the room, Taehyung doesn’t answer you but he nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck while you raise his boxers back on his hips and fix his dick inside. He leaves a few kisses on your skin as you lower his jumper, his jeans are on his calves but you both couldn’t care less now. He’d never leave your hold, they can wait. He shifts in your legs, now resting on one side and wrapping his arms around your torso, head on your chest.

«Just talk to me the next time you feel- anything. Talk to me for anything, jagi» he whispers, soft and slow, calming. Your fingers reaching his hairs is a routine that you both are used to, and the look of love on his face when you do so is the same; still, you’ll never get used to it.

«Please» he adds as he pouts. The cuteness in person is staring at you and you smile at the thought that this is the same man that a minute ago was moaning like there’s no tomorrow.

«I will» you smile, stroking his dark hair. This feels like Christmas. It doesn’t matter anymore that you’re not with your family or friends, of course you still miss them, but you’re realizing only now that you’re with the most important person. Someone who loves you, someone who cares for you, someone who represents your future. Your family is here, after all. He is your family.

«You came so hard» you massage his back, soft touch that only leaves love caresses behind.

Taehyung smiles on your chest, kissing it through the fabric.

«You always make me loose it»

Your smile grows even bigger at his answer and all you can do is nuzzle your nose on his forehead to make him look at you. The look on your face screams nothing but fondness and desperation, desperate to feel his lips on yours, and Taehyung gets it right away. His lips touch yours and share nothing but love, happiness, gratefulness for being with each other, for always finding each other. It’s Christmas, and it makes it all even more magic.

«When did you learn English? Last time I checked you didn’t know all of those words» you giggle on his lips when you part, Taehyung smiles as he tries to hold back a laugher.

«Namjoon and Hoseok» he gives up, laughing at the memory of that special video call.

«Hoseok? Namjoon is fluent, but Hos-»

«He said the naughty things in Korean and Namjoon translated them. When I asked Namjoon for help I didn’t think Hoseok would join the video call- God, the things he made Namjoon translate. I just wanted to learn a little bit more of English for you but it turned out as a translating video call for sex» he laughs, holding his stomach with his hands and shaking his head, it’s useless to say that you follow him. Just picturing the scene makes you crack up, imagine living it.

«Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it»

«I’m not saying that...» he licks his lips, still giggling as he gets more comfortable against you, holding you once again and placing his head on your shoulder.

«Did it turn you on?»

«Do you really have to ask? Of course it did, wasn’t it obvious?» you huff. Tae smiles and places a soft kiss on your jaw, then on your neck, on your clavicle, your shoulder.

«You could teach me other words?» his voice is husky and his hands are already reaching the edge of your Christmas jumper.

«Tae» you cal him. It’s instant, you’re his mermaid and he’s the sailor, you call for him and all he can do is answer right away. He’s already looking at you, his beautiful dark eyes worshipping every feature of your face.

«You’re the best Christmas gift I could ever receive»

«I love you»

Life Goes On Project Masterlist

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hnychn · 4 years

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𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐀 [𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍]

summary : armin stood on the beaches shore as the salty breeze cradled his face, and his mind could only wander to you.

warnings : character death, mentions of blood

word count : 2300+

a/n : i am so sorry to armin for writing this, but i love him sm

navigation || attack on titan masterlist

"Let's see the sea together, Armin!"

Armin got off his horse and relished in the feeling of the salty ocean breeze cradling his face, and his mind could only wander to you.

The two of you grew up together. Your mother had introduced you to a shy blonde boy when you were younger, he hid behind his grandfather’s leg with only half of his face showing, but it was enough for you to see his brilliant blue eyes. There was something about them that gave you hope, despite his timid and recluse nature, whenever you looked into his eyes you felt like you could take on the world.

It was easy becoming his friend, especially after you found him reading one of your favorite books in an alley. The two of you bonded over your shared interest in books, admittedly Armin had a stronger interest than you and would often ramble for hours about the plot of books and the underlying meanings behind characters and their developments, but the shine in his eyes whenever he spoke filled you with a feeling your seven year old mind couldn’t put a word to; but if there was one thing clear to you, it was that you liked the feeling. And you’d do anything to feel it until your last dying breath.

Eren and Mikasa were another easy addition to your duo. It was easy for you to bond with Mikasa over your shared protection over the two boys, and Eren was overall an easy person to get along with. Armin introduced the idea of seeing the sea to Eren one afternoon near the river during sunset.

Armin had brought the book he borrowed from his grandfather and told Eren all about the beauties of the outside world, the same excited blush and shiny blue eyes filled with hope and wonder on his face when he told you the exact same.

Of course, Eren hadn’t believed the ocean was filled with salt, and neither had you. It seemed too far fetched for a body of water as large as Armin claimed to be filled with never ending salt. But the excitement and hope in his eyes stopped you from arguing with him, only nudging Eren with your elbow, a cheeky smile on your face.

“C’mon now Eren, you’re telling me you don’t believe in that when there’s literal titans walking around our world?”

Eren only scoffed and nudged you back a bit harder, “Well it’s better than believing dead people become butterflies.”

Your ears burned in embarrassment as you crossed your arms, a pout on your lips as you sent Eren a half hearted glare out of the corner of your eyes, turning back to the sunset the two of you were watching, “I happen to like believing in it very much.”

Eren shrugged, “what was the story again?”

You smiled, “My mother told me our souls are all butterflies and when we die, they’re set free into the world. She said that when a loved one dies, their butterfly will come visit you to say goodbye before flying away and they visit you again when you need it the most.”

Armin stared at you as you retold the story for the millionth time; but no matter how many times you told it, he always paid close attention. Your eyes would shine brightly and there would be a smile on your face he rarely ever saw, so every time you would smile, he committed it to his memory until the next time he saw it. He never told you, but he believed in the story too, sometimes he finds himself wishing he had told you.

The four of you joined the Training Corps together after Wall Maria had fallen and later the Survey Corps. There were many hardships and surprises as the four of you fought for the freedom of humanity and raised in the ranks of the military.

You teased Eren relentlessly after everyone found out he was a titan, which only led to play fights and roughhousing in the middle of the Mess Hall. Mikasa never broke these fights apart and Armin stopped worrying about either of you getting hurt, they knew this was your own curious way of encouraging the other to fight their hardest.

But it was during the retaking of Wall Maria that changed everything.

Before everything had started, you and Armin snuck out in the middle of the night to stare at the stars and just talk. Peaceful moments like those were few and far between, the weight of jsjdf weighing heavy on both of you.

“What color do you think the ocean is?”

You never looked away from the stars above you, your head tilting to the side at Armin’s sudden question. You could feel the build up of hesitation in your chest as your mind went to war of how to answer. Would you allow yourself to speak with your heart and answer his question truthfully?

You shrugged, “Maybe it’s clear like the rivers.”

You could tell Amrin was a bit dissatisfied at your less than creative answer, you were disappointed in yourself. You should have been honest. Perhaps you’ll tell him what color you think the ocean is after you retake Wall Maria.

It all went to hell. Most of Hange’s squad had died when Barthold had turned into the colossal titan and you had been heavily injured when you pushed Sasha out of the way of Reiner’s attack. Nobody had been able to get to you fast enough, and you felt your bones crack when you collided with the ground.

You heard your friends call out to you, Mikasa’s voice louder than the rest, and your body ached for rest, but you got up. You refused to die by the hands of a traitor.

You couldn’t die. Not here. Not now. Not after promising Armin to see the sea together. So you fought on. You fought against Reiner, the screeching of your nearly destroyed gear fed into the dizziness you felt from the impact; you fought against the ache in your bones and soul that pleaded for you to stop, to rest; you fought against the pull of your body into unconsciousness, you couldn’t pass out, not here; you fought against the searing pain you felt when you were once again slammed into a building, your body meeting the familiar crunch of the ground; you fought against the tug of your eyelids and the sleep that threatened to consume you whole and never give you back.

You fought against it all - for Armin.

The rest of the squad continued to fight, sparing you glances every now and then, but they fully expected you to get up again. They knew you were a fighter - knew you had plans for after they retake Wall Maria - but after agonizingly long minutes of your body laying still on the blood stained floor, blood of your own beginning to pool around you, panic set in.

Mikasa was at your side in an instant after a desperate call of your name. You hadn’t responded. When she got to you, she could hear your shallow, desperate attempts to fill your lungs with air, only to choke on the blood pooling in your throat. Hastily placing her hands against the gaping wound on your stomach, she tried to stop the bleeding, her eyes hazy with unshed tears and fear for your life.

You could just about make out her figure above you through the combination of the bright sun blinding you and the haziness of sleep threatening to overtake you.

“C’mon, y/n, stay awake.” Her voice was muffled, almost as if your head was underwater, “don’t die, don’t die, don’t die.”

Weakly, your hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling slightly to remove her hands from your wound. She shook her head, her tears now falling in clumps down her face, landing on your blood stained cheek, “You can’t die.”

You smiled up at her. She had always cared for you like a mother would, making sure you were fed, making sure you were safe, making sure you were loved. It brought you comfort, especially now that your gasps became louder and your heart pounded loudly in your ears from the lack of oxygen. You would have preferred not to be in this situation at all, every memory you had since birth flashing before your eyes as your body grew cold, but her presence made the process just a bit easier.

Your eyelids bobbed as you tried to keep them open, but your energy was fading and so was your life, and the only thing you could think to say to the girl sobbing above you, pleading for you to just stay with her was, “thank you.”

Mikasa could only sob harder as your grip on her wrist went limp and your eyes dulled. She sobbed for her lost friend, the friend she swore to protect the moment she laid eyes on you. She sobbed for Armin, and she couldn’t bear the image of his reaction to your death.

It was only after the fight, after Armin had been turned into a titan to save him, did Mikasa feel a foreign clump in her pocket. Her hands were still stained with your blood, but she pulled it out nonetheless. It was a letter.

A letter addressed to Armin.

Armin pulled out the worn paper from this pocket of his trousers. The edges were frayed and the paper browned with age, but he still kept it.

Dear Armin,

If you’re reading this, it means I didn’t survive the battle. As I’m writing this, you’re asleep next to me, having fallen asleep on the roof during one of your star gazing nights. Nights like these are what keep me going. Everyday before an expedition, I always think back to these moments, and they fill me with determination to experience another with you.

But tonight was different. You asked me what color I think the ocean is. I laughed and said I had no clue, they were probably clear like the rivers. I lied. I don’t think the ocean is clear like the rivers. It’s blue.

I say that because whenever I think of the ocean, I think of you. I think about how you always get excited to tell someone about the outside world and what that book your grandfather had hidden said. I think about how blue your eyes look when you talk about it, and how they shine with such brilliance and hopefulness to see it for yourself. I think about how deep and emotion filled they are, how some parts of your eyes are a darker blue than others, how they change shades depending on your mood or the lighting.

How they fill me with a feeling that terrifies me.

I know I probably shouldn’t write this, especially if you do end up reading this because it might cause you more pain than my actual death, but I’m going to be selfish for once, and I hope you can forgive me.

Armin, I love you.

And I know that’s such a shitty thing to say in a letter you’ll receive after my death, but I do. I love you, and I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. I’ve felt like this since the moment I met you when we were seven, but I couldn’t figure out why my tummy felt all weird around you. It was when we got into the Training Corps, we were doing hand to hand combat training and you gave me a big hug later that night, proud of yourself for finally being able to take down your opponent. It was then that I could figure out what I was feeling. And it terrified me. Because there we were, training to give our lives to humanity, training to fight against the very beings that took our families from us.

And, call me selfish, but i don’t think I could heal from losing you, but I know you can heal from losing me. So I didn’t tell you. I lived with this secret for years, and sometimes I felt like telling you and getting this weight off of my chest, but just the image of you not coming back from an expedition plagued my mind, and I never could tell you.

Do you remember the story I told you? The one about the butterflies? I hope you do, because I’ll be visiting you and you better not squish me, or I’ll haunt you.

I’m sorry I broke my promise. I’m sorry we couldn’t see the sea together. Maybe in another life, where we don’t have to worry about titans or being eaten or fighting for our lives and our freedom - maybe then, we can see the sea together.

Forever yours,

Y/N L/N

A teardrop fell on the browning paper. Armin hadn’t even realised he was crying. After he woke up on top of the newly reclaimed Wall Maria, he first inquired about you, hoping to celebrate taking back your hometown with him. That’s when Eren told him everything. Armin was sure he had never cried as much as he did then, never felt pain as painful as losing you.

They were able to recover your body, Mikasa made sure they did. Armin only sobbed harder when he held your hand, its usual comforting warmth replaced with a coldness that still haunts him, even three years later.

Mikasa and Eren stood a few paces behind him, giving him some space to take everything in while they reminisced about their own memories of you.

The salty breeze of the ocean cradled his face, and his salty tears tasted bitter against his tongue. He felt something soft flutter against his cheek, and gasped when he saw a blue butterfly land on the frayed end of your letter. Armin smiled for the first time in a while.

“I guess you were right, y/n. . . the ocean is blue.”

The salty breeze of the ocean cradled his face and the butterfly flapped its wings and flew off after a strong gust of wind. Armin was a bit sad to see it go, but he smiled nonetheless.

Because he knew, you had seen the ocean, too.

a/n: sorry if it doesn't make sense in some parts this is my first time writing a full imagine work thing, and actually publishing it, so i'm a bit worried this hadn't come out the way i wanted it to. either way, i hope you all enjoyed this :)

#attack on titan x reader #attack on titan #armin aot #aot x reader #armin x reader #armin arlert #armin arlet x reader #character death

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flannels-and-fannypacks · 4 years

Text

Will They Won’t They | Part 3/4 [Reggie Peters]

Pairing: Reggie Peters x fem!reader

Words: 5.7k

Summary: Reggie and reader were the best of friends up until middle school where they drifted apart and decided never to speak to each other again. What happens when a shared algebra class and a resulting detention force them to spend and increasing amount of time together. Will it be enough to overcome the mutual hate? Or was the relationship doomed from the start.

WARNINGS: swears, spicy dancing, ANGST

A/N: hey it’s drea in charge of posting again :) hope you all are doing well! if you enjoy this, please like, comment, and reblog! if you want to stay updated, dm us to be added to our taglist! sending my love <3 - drea :)

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The next morning, all the boys were refreshed and ready to start their practice. You, however, were upstairs in Rose’s room as she insisted on “dolling you up.”

“So,” Rose began as she brushed your hair out.

You rolled your eyes as you looked at your reflection in the mirror. You could almost see a difference in your appearance, and that had nothing to do with Rose’s magical abilities to style hair. You seemed happier, and your smile was...brighter. You haven’t seen that side of you since before middle school.

“I know it’s not just me who noticed it, but what happened there with you and country boy,” she gave you a light chuckle.

“What do you mean?” you asked innocently.

“What do you mean what do I mean?” Rose asked back confusingly. “You guys were just all close and not hating each other all of a sudden. What happened?”

“I don’t know,” you lied. “O-Our relationship is complicated, you know that. Somethings that happen now have been happening for a long time, if you know what I mean, and the only other person that knows about it is one of us,”

“So he just needed a friend?”

“Pretty much,” you nodded. “And I think he knew I needed one too, so for now we’re on civil terms,”

“It seems a bit more than civil to me,” Rose shrugged, turning you around so she could put on some eye shadow.

“Do we really have to do this?” you pointed to the makeup. “And yeah, it’s just civil,”

“It’s fun, come on!” she chuckled. “But you’re telling me you didn’t feel anything when he kissed you? Or when we found out that somehow you’d gotten paired with him in MASH?”

“Nothing,” you shook your head, unsure if you were lying to your friend or not, it didn’t even seem to be clear for you at the moment. “It was just a kiss on the forehead. Nothing else to it.”

“Alright, if you say so,” she shrugged right as the door swung open, revealing Luke entering the room and flopping down on the bed.

“Lady Bunny, what’s up? I miss you,” he smiled and you chuckled, rolling your eyes yet again, but this time in a more affectionate manner.

“Shouldn’t you be practicing? You guys have a gig coming up soon don’t you?”

“We’re on break, so I thought I’d come visit my daughter,”

“Well your daughter is fine so you can leave,” you said begrudgingly.

“Nope, not gonna happen lady bunny,” he shook his head as Rose finished your eyeshadow and grabbed your arm, throwing you over his shoulder like the first time you met him and headed downstairs and to the studio.

By this point you had learned not to fight it when Luke carried you, otherwise not only would he get hurt, but you had put yourself in grave danger more times than you would like to admit.

When you reached the studio Luke placed you down gently on the couch before grabbing his guitar and motioning or the boys to get ready.

“We’d like to dedicate this song to a special someone in the audience,” Alex started, talking into his mic.

“Someone whose face looks like that of a bunny,” Luke added.

“And has a mean sucker punch,” Bobby contributed.

“And is just overall a pretty terrible person,” Reggie finished and you couldn’t help but laugh along with Rose on the sidelines.

“So Lady Bunny, this one’s for you,” Luke said, pointing at you before looking back down at his guitar.

The rock beat started slowly, with a familiar choppy guitar beginning that sounded like maybe it should have been a bit softer, but even though they had barely started you already knew what they were playing.

Reggie came in shortly after on bass along with Alex on drums and Luke on lead guitar.

You tapped your foot along to the beat while Luke gave you a knowing look and started singing,

“When it began, I can’t begin to knowing, but then I know it’s growing strong,”

Reggie hopped in, taking over for the next part of the verse, “Was in the spring, then spring became the summer. Who’s have believed you’d come along,”

Now all the boys were joining in together for the pre chorus,

“Hand, touching hand. Reaching out. Touching me. Touching you! My sweet sunshine,”

“Ba! Ba! Ba!” you and Rose came in right on beat.

“Good times never seemed so good,” Luke sang effortlessly.

“I’ve been inclined,” Reggie started, leaving room for you and Rose to come in once more. “To believe they never would, but now I,”

As the boys continued to sing, Rose stood up and pulled you to your feet. Giggling, the girl danced energetically in the middle of the studio, gesturing for you to join.

“Dance, (N/N)!” she exclaimed, her voice slightly drowned out from the music. You blushed, slightly swaying to the music until Rose grabbed your hands and waved them around, making you laugh at how ridiculous you both probably looked. “You look like a robot,” she scolded. “Let loose! Feel the music run through you!”

Rolling your eyes, you decided to take your friend’s advice and loosen up a bit. The two of you swayed your hips, occasionally twirling each other or jumping up and down while screaming the lyrics.

The chorus was coming up once more only this time Luke took the lead from the boys, changing Caroline yet again only this time singing something along the lines of,

“Sweet child of mine!”

Causing you to exaggeratedly roll your eyes at him and not noticing the cord that was pulled taught and level with the ground. You shuffled into it, tripping and falling straight in the direction of Reggie and his ‘rock out zone’. Letting out a shriek, you staggered back and closed your eyes, prepared to feel the roughness of the ground, only to be met with a strong pair of arms.

Your eyes fluttered open to see a pair of blue-green eyes stare down at you, sheepishly smiling. The boys had stopped playing once they realized you fell, all of them watching you in his arms.

“Still the clumsiest dork I know, Cookie?” he asked in a teasing voice.

You flashed him a smile. “Always, Flicka,” you replied.

Reggie helped you up but his arms didn’t leave their hold around you. He was so close you could feel his warm breath on your nose and his blue green eyes staring deeply into your soul. His closeness melted away everything around you, it all became fuzz until Alex spoke up and said,

“...Guys?”

You blinked a few times and stepped away from Reggie smoothing out your clothes. Your mind was racing. Did that just happen? Why was your heart beating so rapidly? And dammit, why was Reggie looking at you with that smile of his?

“I-I’m just going to go out for a second, you guys keep going,” you insisted and quickly walked out of the studio. Reggie called out your name, but you brushed him off as you sped down the sidewalk.

You didn’t even know where you were going. You felt like you couldn’t breathe in that studio, and honestly all you wanted was to get out, to leave, to think about what just happened.

Back at Rose’s house Reggie was frozen in place. Had he done something wrong? He had just gotten you back, was it really going to be that easy to lose you again.

“Reggie are you okay?” Bobby asked and Reggie frowned, but more a frown of confusion.

“Can we maybe take five?” Reggie said quietly, looking over at Rose, if anyone knew what the hell just happened it would be her.

Rose, who seemed to understand the look on Reggie’s face, subtly pointed at the door to the house. The two went into the kitchen, where Reggie began to pace back and forth.

“What did I just do?” he questioned aloud. “What did I just say? What did I just think?”

Rose’s eyes followed the boy, only to sigh in discomfort. “You mind taking a seat before we talk?” she suggested. “Sorry, you’re making me dizzy.”

Reggie paused before taking a seat at the table, his knees bouncing up and down as continued to ramble. “Was it something I did wrong?” he asked Rose. “I-I mean I always joke with her. She’s always clumsy a-and we’ve danced before so it’s not like the close proximity could have scared her off, right? Right? Rose, please say something before I do something stupid.”

Rose winced. “How stupid?” she risked asking.

“Like climb your roof and look for her stupid.”

Rose took the seat across from Reggie, the boy calming down slightly. “Reggie honey, tomar un respiro,” she instructed in Spanish only to be met with more anxiety and confusion.

“Please tell me that wasn’t English and I’m not hallucinating,” he begged, looking as though he was on the verge of passing out of bursting into tears. Or both.

“It’s Spanish Reg, and it means take a breath,” she said softly. “Now tell me slowly what’s going on in your heart,” she emphasized.

“I-I… (Y/N),” he said quietly, bringing a hand to his mouth, chewing on his nail. “Fuck me,” he groaned and fell back in his chair.

“What about (Y/N)?” Rose asked.

“Everything,” Reggie shook his head. “It’s always been everything. She’s always been my everything.”

Rose took his hand from his mouth and brought it down. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific than that, Reg.”

Reggie closed his eyes, pondering for a moment. “Ever since we were little, it was always me and her. Cookie and Flicka. We were partners in crime. Bonnie and Clyde, like she’d always say. And then I was stupid enough to let her go in middle school. But even after we stopped talking, I never stopped thinking about her. She was on my mind 24/7. Playing music with the guys, I always wondered what she would think about our music. When I was having a rough day, I would think about what she would say to cheer me up. E-even at night I’d stay up, wondering what she’d be doing if she were awake at this hour.” Reggie chucked to himself. “My answer would always be studying or making a midnight snack. A jelly sandwich and gummy worms. I thought it was disgusting but the look on her face when she’d make them growing up, all the thoughts left my mind. Because at the end of the day, she was with me. I always had my Cookie.”

Rose smiled as the boy recalled his memories, sharing them in great detail. It made her realize how alike Reggie and her friend were. They never stopped loving each other, no matter how stubborn they were about it.

“But when we were singing today,” Reggie continued, wiping his hands against his jeans. “I was watching her dance with you. It was the first time I had seen her so care-free, like there wasn’t a single thought in her mind that stressed her with worry and doubt. Something bubbled in my chest, I-I can’t explain it. But damn, her smile and laugh-” Reggie opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. “I felt like if I died today, I’d be glad I saw her at her happiest one last time.”

“Reggie, hon, have you considered you might… maybe you’re in love with her?” Rose asked quietly and Reggie’s eyes widened.

“L-Love, you mean like a friend right?”

“No Reggie,” Rose gave him a kind smile, placing a hand on his that was resting in his lap. “I mean I think you actually love her. The way you talk about her, I-I hope someone talks about me like that one day.”

Reggie’s mouth went dry as he looked over at Rose.

“Rose I-,” he paused. “I can’t tell her,”

“Reggie what do you mean?” Rose exclaimed, her voice becoming slightly louder.

“I can’t do that to her,” he shook his head. “You can’t say anything to her,”

“Why not?” Rose asked, clearly not impressed with him.

“Because she doesn’t want this, clearly. She wants a friend so that’s what I’m going to be, even if it tears me to pieces. I don’t care,” he shook his head. “I’d do anything for her. No matter what the consequences.”

—

For the first time in your weeks of detention, you were the one who arrived late. Reggie had been waiting in the dance studio with Mrs. Leona, quite anxious to say the least. You were queasy as you approached the two, silently waving.

“There you are!” Mrs. Leona grinned, standing up from stretching. “I was starting to think you wouldn’t show up.”

“Sorry,” you apologized quietly, putting your bag on the floor and joining in on the stretches. “Car trouble,” you lied, hoping Reggie wouldn’t be able to notice.

“You okay?” Reggie whispered as you stretched your arms above your head.

You quickly whipped your head to face him. “Of course!” you squeaked. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just look a little nauseous,” Reggie noted, “Are you sure you should be here?”

“I’m fine,” you insisted. “Mrs. Leona, what’s the plan?” you asked, diverting your attention to the dance instructor.

Mrs. Leona reached for her notepad, skimming through her notes. “Well since you two did brilliantly for that last dance, I thought it would be good to request for you guys to work with me again.” She stepped in front of the mirror, clasping her hands together. “This lesson, I’m continuing partner work because unlike you guys, my students lacked the trust, the chemistry.” You squeaked in response, but Mrs. Leona didn’t seem to notice. “So I’m giving them this song to dance to. Lucky for them, it’s just focusing on footwork and lifting. But, since it’s a romantic song, they’re going to need to practice putting their emotions into their dance.” she smiled at the two of you. “But I know the chemistry part won’t be an issue for you both. Let’s get to work, shall we?”

You seemed hesitant to start. “Mrs. Leona maybe we can do something else, like something that doesn’t require close contact or lifting?”

Reggie gave you a look. “Scared I might drop you, Cookie?” he teased before turning back to Mrs. Leona. “It’s fine, we can do this.”

Mrs. Leona went through explaining the beginning portion of the routine, demonstrating the required movements and techniques to accomplish such things. At first you did each part broken up and without music and once you nailed everything at least once she decided you were ready to try and put it all together along with Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes.

You started to get into your position, holding Reggie’s hands in yours. Your heart was beating loudly in your ears, that the music was almost fuzzy at that point. Mrs. Leona’s counting of the beats made you snap out of your thoughts as you pulled closer to Reggie.

Love, I get so lost sometimes

Reggie’s hand trailed up to the side of your face as he cupped it gently, pressing his forehead against yours.

Days pass, and this emptiness fills my heart

As quick as he touched your face, he dropped his hand back down to your waist, dipping you down as he turned you.

When I want to run away, I drive off in my car

You managed to keep eye contact with Reggie the entire time, his blue-green eyes slightly darkening in admiration as you rose back up.

But whichever way I go, I come back to the place you are

His lips quirked up into a smile while he slid down onto his knees to the rhythm of the music.

All my instincts, they return

Following along, you almost draped yourself over Reggie as he leaned back, your hands coming to the sides of his arms, trailing down until you took his hands in yours before pulling him back up carefully.

The grand facade, so soon will burn

You placed his hands delicately on your waist tightly as you fell down into a lunge, his strong arms supporting you.

Without a voice, without my pride, I reach out from the inside.

Your breath hitched as his hands reached slightly under your shirt, just from the movement, but he didn’t seem deterred, moving you away and allowing you to run into the lift where he held your legs until you slid down against him slowly.

In your eyes, the light the heat

His hand came to hold you again just as you spun out and twirled back in, with a little more force than expected, bumping into Reggie’s chest, your lips gently brushing against his own causing every nerve in your body to burn and every muscle to lose its function.

I am complete-

You let out an audible gasp, covering your mouth with your hand. Reggie seemed equally flustered, but managed to hide it well, aside from his reddened cheeks. Mrs. Leona immediately stopped the music, jogging over to the two of you.

“What happened?” she asked, clearly confused. “The two of you were dancing so well?”

You stumbled over your words. “I, erm-” you stammered. “I think I might have landed on my foot wrong after the lift.” It wasn’t your best lie, but at this point you were desperate.

Mrs. Leona’s eyes widened. “Oh no, an injury?” she exclaimed. “Sit down, honey, I’ll get some ice from the nurse’s office.” Before you could refuse, the dance teacher was already long gone.

Reggie turned to you. “Let’s sit you down,” he suggested, pulling you down with him. “Mind if I check if it’s more than a rolled ankle?”

You shook your head repeatedly. “No no, it’s fine,” you quickly told him.

Reggie took your leg and placed it gently on top of his. “Let me,” he insisted. “If it’s really bad, we might need to ask Mrs. Leona to wrap it.” Reggie began to untie your shoelace when you jerked it back abruptly, standing up in the process.

The dark haired boy looked at you suspiciously as you rocked back and forth. “So I’m assuming you’re fine if you’re standing on it normally now,” he deadpanned. You looked down at your two feet, sheepishly kicking your left leg back.

“Ah, a miracle!” you exclaimed awkwardly. “It must have been a flash of pain or something, but it’s better now…”

Reggie frowned, standing up. “Cookie, if you want to lie to Mrs. Leona, fine by me. But you know you can’t lie to me.”

“Who says I’m lying?” you countered and Reggie rolled his eyes.

“Come on (Y/N), seriously?” Reggie looked disappointed. “First you run out of the studio and don’t come back, we had to send Alex and Bobby out to make sure you were okay and now you’re lying? What’s going on? What happened?” he pressed.

“What happened?” you said with disbelief. “Were you not just dancing with me?”

“What do you mean?”

“You… I…” you tried to get out the words, but you shook your head. “I can’t do this Reggie. I can’t do it.”

“Cookie, it’s just me,” he insisted, coming closer to you, holding your arms against your side. “I’m your friend, right? Or at least I thought I was.”

“You are!” you insisted. “I promise. It’s just there’s a lot going on and I need a second to process it,”

You were seriously starting to think he hadn’t noticed what had just happened. Maybe you were reading into it too much, maybe he was just playing it off cool to make sure you were okay. Whatever it was, you didn’t know what to think of it. All you wanted to do was go home and curl up in a tiny ball and drown out the sound of your thoughts with Tracy Chapman’s voice.

Reggie stepped away and scratched the back of his neck.

“I’ll give you some time,” he nodded and walked out to the hallway.

It seemed as though your hearts were two positive charges just constantly pushing each other, further and further away.

—

“In my opinion, I think you should just stop being so conflicted and tell him how you feel about him,” Rose suggested as she brushed her hair in front of her vanity.

You were at Rose’s house for an “emergency sleepover,” as she liked to put it. You were incredibly confused with everything going on that you needed a friend, specifically one who was reasonable, to talk to.

Sighing, you flopped backwards on Rose’s bed. “But I don’t know what I’m feeling,” you groaned tiredly. “Sometimes I want to punch him in the face, but lately, I haven’t felt that.”

“And what have you been feeling?” Rose pressed, setting her brush down and walking over to you.

You bit the inside of your cheek as you thought. “I don’t know,” you replied. “Fuzzy? Like the inside of my stomach are angry wasps buzzing crazily.” You sat up, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. “But when he smiles...they turn into butterflies.”

“Butterflies?” Rose repeated.

You nodded, dramatically groaning as you leaned your head on her shoulders. “The happiest of butterflies. Like- when he looks at me with those stupidly pretty eyes.”

“Stupidly pretty eyes?” Rose said.

“Yes!” you fumed. “Everything about him is pretty. His eyes and his smile. Even his flannels and shoulders!”

“Shoulders?”

You looked up at Rose. “Will you stop repeating everything I’m saying?” you whined. “Say something! Give me advice! You’re the only one besides Alex that is reasonable! Because I think I’m going to do something stupid.”

Rose bit her lip to hold back a laugh. Reggie said the exact same thing to her earlier. “How stupid?”

“...Stealing Alex’s van to drive to his house, stupid.”

Rose hummed in response. “Well, that is pretty high up there on the list of things that are stupid,” she commented with a smile. “Why do you want to do something stupid? What about Reggie is making you feel this way?”

You stood up, wrapping your arms protectively around yourself. “He’s so different from when we were friends as kids,” you sighed. “But at the same time, it’s like he hasn’t changed a bit. All these mixed feelings of hating him but also missing him is stressing me out!” You turned to Rose, dropping your arms. “It’s so confusing. I feel like I don’t know if I know myself because I don’t know him. Does that… does that make sense?” you whispered.

“A little,” Rose nodded, admitting to her confusion.

“Have you known someone so long that over time you-you almost feel like you have such a part of them inside you?” you asked and didn’t really wait for an answer. “It’s been so long since I’ve really known Reggie… now it just feels like that part of me is missing because of that,” You held your hand on your chest, feeling your heart beat rapidly as you rambled. “But when Reggie’s just...the Reggie I knew, no toughness, no band, no anything...I feel like I’m whole again. T-that, I can lean on his shoulder and trust him when he says everything will be alright. And I’ll believe him. No matter all the promises he’s broken in the past, I’ll still find myself trusting him completely.”

“Why?” Rose asked in a quiet voice.

You smiled softly. “That really is the question, isn’t it?” you laughed. “Why do I continue to trust him, even though every part of my body is telling me no? Well, because I love him. He’s my best friend, no matter what. Even after our falling out, I still thought about him, still cared about him. And it’s so stupid of me, and I know I should stop...but I can’t. I just can’t.”

“Then go to him,” Rose insisted. “Please (Y/N), for the love of God,”

“I can’t!”

“Why not?” Rose pressed. “Why can’t you?”

“Because!” you only said.

Rose threw her head back, laying on her bed. “Oh my gosh, (N/N), you and Reggie are going to drive me crazy with your stubborn bullshit! I don’t understand why you can’t say anything to him? You’re his best friend! Why is it so difficult?”

“Exactly!” you exclaimed, exhausted by the yelling and frustration. “He’s my best friend! I just got my best friend back. I don’t want to risk it all because of this-this feeling! Who knows! Maybe I’m going crazy. Maybe, I’m going crazy because my friends see something that will obviously never happen between me and Reggie!”

Rose stood up. “Do not blame this on me, Luke, and Alex,” she told you, starting to lose patience. “If anything, blame it on yourself! Blame it on Reggie, and his hard head! But do not blame it on your friends who just want to help you.” Rose took a deep breath, recomposing herself. “What is the worst thing that can happen?”

Tears welled in your eyes as Rose pulled you back down to her bed, wrapping her arms around you. “Having him walk out of my life again?” you said, your voice cracking. “Hurting myself even more than I already am? Losing you, and Luke, and Bobby and Alex...Being alone all over again?” You looked up at Rose, tears freely cascading down your cheeks. “Rose, I don’t want to be alone again, please…”

“Cariña we’re not going to leave you,” Rose whispered, holding her head against yours. “But if you trust me you’ll understand why I’m telling you that it's not a bad idea to maybe talk to him and figure things out.”

“I wish I thought the same,” you sighed, savouring the feeling of Rose holding you near.

Rose pressed her lips together, deciding that the two of you were far too tired to argue any further. “Let’s sleep now, get some rest and think it over, then we’ll talk more in the morning, okay?” she suggested, taking a throw blanket and placing it over your legs.

You nodded shakily. “I think that would be best,” you agreed, tucking yourself underneath the covers.

Rose turned off the lights, finding her spot beside you.

You stared at the ceiling for a moment. “Rose?”

“Yes?”

You turned your head to face her. “You know I love you, right?”

The girl wrapped one arm around your waist. “I love you, too, (N/N).”

—

“I love you Flicka,” the words seemed to roll out of your mouth before you could stop them, but that’s how you knew they were true. your head pressed gently against his, almost refusing to look into those blue-green eyes.

Reggie's hands drifted away from the sides of your face as he stepped back and looked at you. The same cold and fearful look he carried in his eyes after you weren’t on speaking terms.

“No you don’t,” he hissed. “Stop playing these mind games. It’s only a matter of time until you fuck up and ruin everything for yourself and for everyone again.”

And without another word he turned and walked away.

Even though it was all in your head you couldn’t risk it. You wouldn’t let the world pull you apart again. you wouldn’t give him another chance to break that promise.

You woke up in a cold sweat, your stomach churning with nerves. Rose was still fast asleep and you looked over at the digital clock on her nightstand that read 2:32 A.M.

You pushed yourself up carefully, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking a breath, but as it became painfully clear you felt suffocated and needed to go out and get some air.

Reaching for your sweatshirt on the floor, you slipped it over your head before quietly standing up and leaving Rose’s door, gently shutting the door behind you as you did so.

Your first stop was the kitchen to get a glass of water, maybe the cool drink would clear your system of any unwanted feelings but you highly doubted an excess of dihydrogen monoxide would cure your of falling in love with your best friend. Sighing, you took your untouched glass of water with you to the studio, thinking that maybe you could find any solution to your problems there.

You made your way to the studio, suspicious as to why the lights were already on, but didn’t comment on it. You sat down, staring at your full glass of water.

“No jelly gummy worm sandwich tonight, Cookie?” a voice piped up from behind you.

“Holy fucking shit!” you shrieked, throwing your glass at the source of the noise.

Once the initial fear dialed down, you rubbed your eyes to see none other than a dark haired boy with a red flannel tied around his waist.

“Reggie?” you squeaked. “What are you doing here so late at night?”

He wiped the water from his face, his hair flopping back as he shot you an annoyed -but confused- glare. “The hell was that about?”

“You came here unannounced,” you shot back. “I thought I was about to be murdered, and considering what you said last sleepover, I should still be on edge.”

Reggie rolled his eyes. “Understandable.” He stepped forward with his hand outreached, only for you to fearfully stagger back. “Relax, I just forgot my songbook here.” Reggie reached for the notebook stuck between the cushions, waving it in front of your face for proof. It was red and slightly battered, and filled with loose sheets of papers sticking out.

You released your breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “I’m sorry,” you said sheepishly. You gestured to the couch. “Sit with me?”

You and Reggie sat down on the couch, silence filling the room. Your knees slightly brushed against his on the small couch, but you quickly scooted away.

Reggie glanced over at you, noticing how uneasy you looked. “What’s on your mind?” he asked. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

You shook your head. “It’s nothing,” you said. “A nightmare, that’s all.”

The boy raised an eyebrow, immediately detecting your lie. “Just a nightmare?” he asked. “I’ve never seen you so pale and jumpy, Cookie. You sure it was just a nightmare?”

You nodded before ultimately shaking your head with a sigh. “Do you ever wonder if...if the people you care about just up and leave? And you can’t do anything because it’s your fault?” Reggie remained silent, gesturing for you to continue. “I’m scared that those close to me will leave me.”

“Why would they leave you?” he questioned curiously.

You scoffed, drumming your fingers against your legs. “Why wouldn’t they leave me?” you asked in return. “I’m too scared to face my fears. I keep my mouth shut and bottle shit up until it explodes and affects everyone around me.”

“Cookie,” Reggie hushed, reaching out to stop our fidgeting hand by placing his on your knee. “I…” he shook his head. “I don’t think you’re the only person that it happens to,”

“Flicka,” his nickname got caught in your throat.

All you wanted was to pull him close, have him kiss your forehead and tell you those sweet beautiful lies. That everything’s going to be okay, and that he’d be by your side forever.

That he loved you.

It felt like you were having a bad allergic reaction, your throat closing up, as you wished the words to come out, but they just got bottled up and whisked away in the sea of your heart like everything else.

You couldn’t see it, but if you could take a moment, get out of your own heads you’d see his blue green eyes looking back at you with that soft mischievous sparkle they always held, only this time you would have seen all the love and admiration hidden behind them. You would have seen how much he wished he could make your pain vanish. You would have seen his heart on his sleeve. You would have seen your Reggie.

“Cookie, I’m here,” he whispered. “I’ll always be here.”

Reggie allowed you to lean your head against his shoulder, not caring at all about the tears soaking up his t-shirt. He raised his hand to your face, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, then trailing his hand down along your jawline. He tilted your head up to face his, your lips mere centimeters apart.

“Flicka,” you breathed, his eyes staring down at yours with so much more than you could ever possibly wish to describe. As he pulled closer, you felt his lips against yours. They felt like a smooth bass line in a classic jazz song, kissing him tasted like eating the best jelly and gummy worm sandwich in the world. It was by no means a perfect kiss, those were near impossible to achieve. But his slightly chapped lips molded with yours in a way that you have never felt with anyone else. The way he tilted his head, the way his lips were slightly curled upward in a smile and the way he thought you didn’t notice when he murmured I love you against your lips.

Then doubts began to flood your mind.

He doesn’t love you. It’s all a lie. He’ll leave you. Just like everyone else is your life. Then you’ll be left with no one.

Just like it’s always been.

You jerked back, gasping for air as though the wind had been knocked out of you.

“I need to go,” you whispered hurriedly.

“Cookie, wait-” Reggie lunged forward, grabbing your hands. His cheeks were flushed red as he tried to form the words in his head. “Can we talk about this-”

“(Y/N)?” you heard Rose’s voice call out. “Are you in the studio?”

You glanced back at Reggie, his face filled with desperation to talk to you. “Please,” he begged softly.

Only, you shook your head. “She can’t know you were here,” you whispered.

Reggie stiffened, hesitantly letting your hand go, but not before squeezing it. “Goodnight, Cookie.”

You winced at his saddened expression.“Night, Flicka.”

“(Y/N)?” Rose called again and you turned around to where her voice was coming from, hoping to maybe see Reggie one last time before he left, but when you turned back around once more all that was left of him there was a tattered red song book and a red flannel.

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