#sorry for rambling in the tags i dont do it on purpose i ramble when im nervous

[juicedbeetle]

I just love when he does creacher shit like this so much

[qprstobin]

the stobin bathroom scene is literally sacred to me and the scoops troop dynamic is <3 I complain endlessly about how the soviet storyline was implemented but the character side of things is perfect to me...adding in yet another character is so not fun for me bc they are not adding anything particularly interesting usually just sexual tension with Steve and it's usually undermining the dynamics I do care about..ppl should consider adding Eddie to like . j/ncy s3 scenes instead

GODS SAME like... fighting russians under the mall is so incredibly stupid but i love the scoops troop scenes and dynamics SO MUCH. and yeah like whenever people add another character they always want them to get captured with steve and robin (or instead of robin which like i said in my tags.... n o).

like ig there are ways you could add another person if you keep them with erica and dustin (ive done it twice for specific aus that arent published yet) but like not only does it fuck with the stobin dynamic if you have the extra person captured with stobin, but also.... each of them have a door what are you expecting a third person to do?? it makes more sense for if there is a third teen/adult for them to stay and "protect" the kids anyway like you dont need to give them torture trauma too.

its funny bc i really do love the like, actual mall aspects of eddie working at a music store and becoming friends with them/flirting with steve, but i dont need him to then join the scoops troop when the upside down shit comes knocking. i swear people love to use eddie to screw up the stobin dynamic. (another pet peeve is every s3 au where for some reason? robin and eddie are already best friends? and like gang up on steve? like just bc they're queer does not automatically mean they are going to be bffs. its pretty significant to robins character that she also seems to be kind of a loner just like steve.)

and honestly YEAH theres literally three other plotlines going on that you can add characters like eddie or others too? have them get chased and traumatized thru the hospital. have them trying to corral five 14 year olds while they try to capture and then escape a possessed billy hargrove. i think it would be very funny to throw someone in with the jopper group and have them have to fifth wheel jopper and the murray/alexei duos.

hell, make up a hellfire member who has been flayed and that eddie is trying to figure out why theyre acting so weird, and have him follow them to starcourt or st! like some of those people just fucking walked away in the middle of convos during that one scene dfifjgsdigs there are so many fun things people could do to add characters to the group and yall wanna mess with the scoops troop dynamic?

[dawntheduckrb]

Low resolution borb chilling on the curb

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

Is it me or do other people find it jarring how Taika's haters try and distort reality and act like everyone loves him and they are the only one? Or that everyone acts like he's perfect and heaps him with praise for doing the bare minimum when from what I've seen no one who actually likes him does that.

I've seen people like 'if you're cancelling the last of us cancel ofmd cos Taika is zionist scum who supports genocide'.

Hi Anon! Oh interesting question. I don't know if I've personally seen a lot of that specific situation where they think everyone is blindly supporting him (I do tend to block after a certain point so maybe that's why?). If I'm understanding you correctly it sounds a lot like they're seeing any support of Taika as "HE IS PERFECT AND NO ONE SHALL CHALLENGE HIM" when most people who support him know he's not perfect (as no one is) and we accept him anyway.

Which is one of the things OFMD really drives home-- you're not perfect, that's okay! You can do better if you mess up! You are deserving of being forgiven!

Which I mean, in general I think that really points to your first point, that folks who are mad at him are kind of living in this distorted reality. But also too... I've seen this a lot in my personal life with ... various folks that some people see the world in a very black and white state. They see things as "if it's not this, it MUST mean THIS" -- in this case "If people support Taika, it MUST BE BECAUSE THEY THINK HES PERFECT", same with "If he asked for hostages to be released, HE MUST BE SUPPORTIVE OF GENOCIDE".

--- sorry long post is long, I'm in a rambling mood today sorry!---

Which.. to be fair there's a lot of cultural training for that.. as some folks have put in tags of other posts, it's lack of critical thinking and questioning skills. I know where I grew up they were super big into us questioning everything, but when I talk to some friends who grew up in other states here in the US, they didn't get the same focus on critical thinking in public school, and got more of it in college (and not everyone can afford to go to college). I had a really cool 11th grade English teacher who showed us a video in class one day. It was a parody of a documentary and was explaining how the earth was flat (which we didn't know at the time, they didn't tell us this wasn't real). It was weird because it didn't come out and say "the earth was flat" though, it came out with kind of vaguely reasonable sounding arguments from people with "Dr" in front of their name.

I remember looking at my friend who was really confused too and saying something like "wait is this for real?" and them shrugging at me. It wasn't until this part of the video where there's literally cows running around Antarctica that a lot of us were like, "wait this is totally not real". That English teacher.. after we got done with the movie started asking us when it was that we started questioning the validity of the video, and then went into this whole lecture about how especially when we're young, we're so used to just being FED information that sometimes we get fed completely false information and we just DONT know it. The whole exercise was all about questioning and critical thinking skills and how not every "teacher" or "doctor" is going to be as qualified as they try to tell you they are.

I found that whole exercise really eye opening because I had never really thought of people purposely trying to bias my education like that before. I'm sure there's thousands of ways that people learn these kinds of skills (and I know mine aren't perfect) but I found that one to really hit home-- so imagine never being taught that. Never being taught that if you start feeling like the thing being said doesn't sound quite right to question it.

Now of course, some folks are purposefully ignorant and that's a whole other issue, but I do think we need better critical thinking education all over the world (but especially in America what with the vastly different education depending on which region you're in).

ANYWAY omg im sorry -- I dont know if I even really addressed your point, so I apologize if I didn't (the ADHD is strong today I tell you)-- so if I didn't please let me know and I'll try again!

I hope the trolls aren't getting to you too much today, sending love anon <3

[okthatsgreat]

new opddmh updates..... like. three of them. crazy. haven't been keeping up as well as usual (acting stuff and work tag teaming my free time and absolutely destroying it) but i have finally started to binge and i truly truly love what u r doing w makoto and miu. so different but still connecting on an in-depth level and balancing eachother out ....... sometimes a relationship is an ex-reality show killing game figurehead and the world's worst teenager fresh out of the hospital against the world. do u have any insights on the way u write relationships and connections or just them in specific that come to mind bc oh my god. please do tell

HELLO AGAIN :]!!! AND HAHAHAH THATS ALL GOOD ive been so busy also FINGERS CROSSED IM ABLE TO GET MY UPDATE SCHEDULE ON TRACK LOL

TALKING ABOUT THIS FIC!!! :] big ole ramble down below lol

(i use the word "partner" a lot here but just know i am not referring to strictly romantic relationships lol)

OHHH GOD. relationship writing advice HMM HMMMMM. it really is very complex bc there are SO many different types of relationships that can be written about ghfdgjh so advice definitely varies!!! i think something helpful that i've learned is that unless you are purposefully examining power dynamics it always helps to view both sides as fully realised characters. very very rarely do you want to have a character who is solely there to agree with their second half and have no personality or history outside of this. i see this happen a LOT with romantic pairings but it's also an important note for platonic pairings as well!! ESPECIALLY if the main focus of the story is on this specific pairing-- it shouldnt feel like one person is a human being while the other is a cardboard cutout whose only purpose is to be there for their partner. again there ARE a few exceptions to this and how it is portrayed but its the main rule i like to stick to!! :]

if i feel like ive written a character who is solely there for their partner something immediate i go to is giving both characters something that separates them!! most of the time this includes fleshing out a backstory thats different from their partner, that might influence the way they see things within the narrative. give them a different hobby, maybe a different friend group! give them a different perspective on the events that are unfolding, a different way of coping that might not be beneficial to their partner!! and remember that it is OKAY for them to not agree on everything!!!! do not be frightened into thinking you need every single relationship in your story to be perfect and unproblematic and completely agreeable, especially for longer narratives that call for conflict

OH AND IN REGARDS TO FANFICTION... piece of advice i try to follow is donttttt try to mold characters into entirely different people just so they can stay happy and agreeable with their partner lol. if theres tension theres tension!! if theyre petty then theyre petty!!!!! even if there isnt conflict and youre writing fluff, you dont have to erase their personalities just to fit them together as a happy couple! sometimes the challenge in writing comes from finding what happiness means for that specific character/pairing, and that may be very different from the typical idea of romance/happiness!!

AND NOW ON TO MAKOTO AND MIU first of all. i am so sorry for making you read paragraphs upon paragraphs of me just rambling nonsense at you GHFDKGSH BUT I APPRECIATE IT!!! and second of all this technicallllyyyy is advice i guess but its WAY more specific now!!! lol

anyways when it comes to writing their relationship most of their dynamic is based off of their differences! opddmh miu is brash and loud, and even though she is trying more and more to filter what she says she still speaks before she thinks and grows restless very easily. opddmh makoto on the other hand cant afford to be brash and loud and thinks quite a lot before he says anything, and is lot visibly calmer. so its fun examining how their differences are able to influence the other throughout the fic!!!! miu NEEDED that calming influence considering the state she was in when makoto found her, i quite frankly have no idea where the hell she would be now if makoto hadnt been so patient and understanding ghfdksghkf. makoto on the other hand is a man chained down by responsibility, so much so that his life has become extremely dull in his eyes just because of how repetitive it has started to become. miu is a serious change to this and offers him some kind of purpose while also reminding him of not only how SCARED he was as a teenager first exiting the simulator but also how unrestrained he had been before the years went by. theres a balance there!!!

but at the same time, there ARE some similarities. theyre both a bit paranoid, and even if miu is more willing to be vocal about her distaste theyre both scared of danganronpa as a company. they also both strive for some kind of peace, even if they have different versions of it-- makoto wishes to be unburdened by the weight of responsibility and his Ultimate Hope persona while miu wishes for stability in her relationships with others, even if she just isnt the best at it. its why i like writing small moments such as the two of them just sitting in the car and chatting or the most recent moment where theyre not talking at all but are still comfortable in each others company-- they dont explicitly tell the other that theyre super happy and at peace but they both subconsciously understand :)

OKAY CUTTING MYSELF OFF!!!! GFHDGFDJ THANK YOU SO SO MUCH <33

[bluewinnerangel]

right back at ya cowboy

Omg ella I'm so sorry I was gonna do this "later" and then it got buried. OK. I clicked. EDIT: I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM DOUBLE SORRY lol imma expose my ramble draft

[So in case someone's reading this thinking ???? we sometimes throw a spinning wheel of songs at each other and then just go rambling yelling analysing whatever it gives back. I've kept track with this tag, feel free to copy any of them wheels links and go off or bug someone with it actually pls do]

Oh you mean that song I for some reason like some total idiot put on first thing in the morning and just bawl my eyes out, you know when its so early you're just so vulnerable and everything feels raw and there's no thoughts just something primal happens and it's me drowning myself in this song and then the day can start I guess am I fine nobody knows. It's now my Saturday morning ritual where before coffee I see some sun and I just bawl there's something therapeutic about it. I'd recommend it. Just some sun some coffee brewin some confused pet wondering if you're OK yeah.

Anyway. The song I can place extremely easily in like "1d ended and it sucked" context, but it works with a lot. whatever I can think of him, or anyone, writing about, whatever it means to me. (general Louis' songwriting ramble incoming:) I'm looking at FITF differently compared to Walls and previous work and he's approached it differently, I feel like what he's been saying about his discography fits that as well. I think (this is a mash of what i think to hear in his lyrics and in interviews, so heavy paraphrasing:) before he had this idea he should be writing where the whole thing makes sense to be about this one situation/idea and it has to be about him too and sure perhaps a context might have been written around it, but i think in the past hes been pretty perfectionist on having every single line fit the thing he was thinking of what that song is, and now thats no longer the case. Now it's whatever works, whatever hits, feels, does it. It doesn't matter one thought/situation flows into another.

I guess that was a long rambley way of saying I wanna do line by line lyric analyses of his stuff but I don't know how to make that work as it did previously, for me at least. But on the other by temporarily running with one interpretation and seeing what you can find in the lines can really help see more angles, bring more depth to the line, and consider other meanings and stuff so.. idk not much wrong with it. I wanna do that too I think. This is I guess A Promise I'll do a Holding On To Heartache lyric breakdown. At Some Point. :D

But I think his choices of words and soundscapes and perhaps all them being little references are just wonderful. I cherish it so much. I'm slightly afraid he did the same in Perfect Now (like after seeing a web of possible perfect now lyrical referencing that song did become one of my favs as I love that idea like it gives so much more body depth meaning whatever to a song to me even if not on purpose lol its not even relevant at that point anymore anyway) and long term didn't value it much so now I'm afraid my new little more poppy fav will be his new neglected child but time will tell. Just... have an itch. Rip. EDIT yeah that itch got worse because of the track by track we got now.. it's got that bit about HOTH being a poppy one and the way he's talking about it sigh i feel him but sigh also hes sigh i dont wannt start that discourse over that shit so no. but itch. I uh... luckily don't let how I interpret his reactions to his own songs affect the way I feel about his own songs haha brainpayne this.

ok ok ok last ramble it sounds so fucking liquid? so wet?? how do I explain this why does it sound w e t EDIT: help me he said the sound is like a guitar under water like he's drowning it's flooding we're in a puddle of tears this song, it's what makes me bawl I think, because the song sounds like bawling, and your cheeks are puffed up and we,t and you find a moment of quiet and stare up at the sky with your wet lashes exhausted defeated but you're still here you're still breathing. Also the bridge with the "space between us just comes FLOODING back" at the end of it, it's not the bit that hits the hardest in an obvious way, instead it kinda gets overlooked a way, theres no moment to sit and waddle in the SHIT FLOODING BACK RIGHT THERE it just goes right into the quiet bit again,there's no time given to recover from getting crushed by the wavesm and it just does something to me... I can't leave that bit as the little end of a big thought it sounds like, but the way its sung... time just keeps ticking and we're at the end. I'm almost sure that wasn't intentional and like @ me why focus on this of all the overwhelm that's in this song, but that just feels like a reflection of the feeling I get from this song, you're just fucking sitting there in the middle of this overwhelming ache these waves of hurt and shit just moves on and youre just there stuck there with but i wasn't done? But I guess I should be? Like there's no room for me drowning in this even more but I feel like I need to still?

ramble out.

[yuukei-yikes]

This is kanoshin rambling in response to your tag saying "kano in his twenties is always dating a new person" bc I do agree its funny just on its own, but throwing shintarou into the mix. They're never dating but shintarou is the one person they tell when they're actually single so they can mess with him but then he quickly gets a new partner on purpose before shin can tell anyone. He'll be at their house and be like "did you know he's single" and he'll be like "actually Im not as of 10:30 am"

THATS SO FUNNY... like yeah i just think kano would date a lot. idk. he finds it enriching.

actually i don't think kano would be like Outspoken about his love life i feel like ayano could be like so do u have ur eye on anyone :3 and kano's like eehh not really (actually dating some guy for the last 3 months) IDK i feel like he would be The Problem. he would totally separate his friends/family from his love life and he can't rly commit to relationships bc it's like. he's just kinda messing around idk he's never very serious?? i dont wanna make him sound like an asshole. girls just wanna have fun. and yknow he never opens up abt his powers Of course he doesn't and that's a big part of him so he cant fully connect with anyone yknow

i definitely dont think he ever gets STRONG feelings for anyone but i also like to think he went through at least ONE relationship where he was down really bad and the breakup almost ends him. with like, some random guy. idk. i think he could pull off that kind of drama in his life. probably like the one guy he actually introduced to his weirdass friends. i feel like kano pulled off a little love story outside his freakshow friend group but it ends at one point and he's rly heartbroken. and then the dan is all like hey what happened to (guy) and kano's like oh haha idk got bored with like many others💅(dying inside)

lots of potential drama for kano accidentally relying on shintaro abt his heartbreak. cuz. augh kanoshin makes me crazy i think shintaro always sees through kano and kano KNOWS this so he ends up being pretty vulnerable with him a lot. and like u said in ur second ask maybe kano also tells shintaro more than anyone else bc he doesnt know how to flirt properly. anyways so he tells him abt this and shintaro redirects it to ayano like hey ur brother got his heart broken‼️‼️‼️ bc he doesnt know how to deal with it and he decides he's doing good by telling ayano. kano finds out this happened bc ayano showed up at his apartment with like a breakup kit (she probably watched it in a movie or something. idk icecream) and kano's like Omg. i hope shintaro dies❤️

sorry for imagining oddly specific scenarios again do you still like me

[what-the-hell-is-going-on-here]

yes, i caved and i'm making a proper (???) pinned post

HI!!! call me cervid :3

I LIKE AND FREQUENTLY POST ABOUT VORE AND STUFFING!!!

(not in the gross way i swear hear me out)

i dont like stuffing in a weight gain way (no hate to ppl who do, its just not my thing) and, for vore, i enjoy the g/t, SAFE, SOFT kind (fatal sometimes but not heavily in detail) and nonsexually! i like both of those things in a comfort/show of love thing if that makes sense. i also like g/t just in general. im too lazy to tag any of it unless its for reach purposes (like my writing or other stuff like that) so Watch Out i guess 💀

I do post about normal stuff too!! (i like to draw and write) so ofc i dont mind when "normal" blogs follow but just be aware of what i reblog lol

i dont bite! pls interact 👁️👁️

more info (fandoms, my works, likes/dislikes, dni) under the cut because this is Long...

the kind of vore/stuffing things that i do NOT like (keep in mind if u wanna suggest/send something):

-heavily detailed hard vore/more on the gore side

-death feedism

-feedism specifically for like.. weight gain

-unrealistic stuffing/vore (like. when their tummy is bigger than the rest of their body SORRY ITS JUST NOT MY THING)

-most pregnancy stuff

(ill add to this later)

im into a ton of fandoms but currently 2001: a space odyssey, electric dreams, ultrakill, inscryption, and i have no mouth and i must scream are overtaking my brain, if you are one of the rare ppl who like those and like vore/stuffing too PLEASE SEND ME ASKS. PLSSSS IM DESPERATE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN SEND ME VORE OR STUFFING RELATED ASKS PLEEEAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM BEGGING. I LOVE WRITING ABOUT STUFF PLS

also im otherkin! so ill reblog that stuff too (yes im weird, yes i take pride in that)

some of my works are below!

https://www.tumblr.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-here/734572176007741440/am-vore-hcs-ihnmaims?source=share ihnmaims vore hcs - AM

https://www.tumblr.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-here/733758413915422720/use-this-to-talk-about-soft-vore-i-wanna-know-how- misc soft vore ramble

https://www.tumblr.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-here/747607936331907072/ultrakill-vore-doodles-3 ultrakill vore doodles :D

my fandom-specific vore tags (and other special tags) are

#electric noms (for electric dre/ams)

#i have no mouth and i must vore (for ihnm/aims)

#cervid talks (for plain text posts, usually abt vore/stuffing brainrot)

#ultranoms (for ultrak/ill)

#cervid works (for any original art/writing, not necessarily vore/stuffing but probably will be)

I am not the best at organization and I will definitely miss stuff but bear with me yall o7

please dni if-

-you are a purely nsfw blog (yes this goes for vore blogs that are sexual)

-you're gonna argue abt my interests

-you are deeply uncomfortable if you see vore/stuffing posts (dont wanna risk seeing it? then pls dont follow!) not saying all my followers have to like it just dont follow if seeing the occasional post will make u rlly grossed out

-youre an asshole. come on have some standards just dont be weird... plss....

thanks

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

[TW: Manipulation, Bullying(?), Light Mentions of Physical Abuse, and possibly more, i genuinely dont know how to tw this sorry]

Hi, call me Shadow. Im looking for some advice on how to move on from the situation below, some reassurance, or atleast someone to listen to me without judgment. Sorry for any grammer/spelling mistakes

They're alot of parentheses, extra notes, and run on sentences so apologizes for length

About 6ish month ago, i cut off a very toxic friend. Said friend, lets call them A, would offen make fun of and tease everyone in our friend group 'to show love' and such. Which is fine, some people are okay with that but personally im not as ive dealt with many toxic friends who've hurt me by using that as a cover up.

A was an irl friend of three people in our group's server that was invited on really late, i was pretty guarded and afraid around them for awhile, both because of a new person and because i had a feeling some was off with them. I ignored it, thinking i was just being overprotective and overthinking things again. After a few months things settled and it seem they fit in almost perfectly, till suddenly their jokes started getting really targeted and mean.

They started targeted me and one of my partners, constantly making cruel 'jokes' about us, everything from "if you're on [name]/[name]'s team [insert bad thing] will happen to you" to jokes that were just insults played off as jokes. I tried multiple times to ask them to stop but they played the "its just a joke" everytime

It got the point they started holding my reactions over me, and even purposely making me upset to have something to use against me. The main incident i remember is them pretending to be mad at me while i was rambling and spent atleast 10mins pretending to type to make me anxious (they later admitted this to one of my friends who then told me), and when they finally sent their message which ended up being a joke related to what i was rambling, i in my moment of vulnerability due to rambling (rambling for me is like exposing my soul) and them scarring me, i accidentally admitted i was afraid i was gonna be yelled at

They then took to posting what i said in our quotes channel for everyone to see after i deleted my message. They refused to delete the message and even started deleting mine in response (they were a mod on our server), it took owner stepping in to fix this

A started using their mod powers to delete both of my partners' messages when they started speaking out against all three of our treatment. They also deleted our messages unrelated to that, making us look terrible in pass conversations.

When me i finally snapped and ledt the server, moving to another server hosted by a different friend that 90% of us were also one, they started messaging me for answers and to "apologize" aka blame me for what happened. They were nice and reasonable at first, but then they started pressuring me into in their words "cursing them out", which i unfortunately gave into.

A used it as an excuse to blame me for everything, blame me for never speaking up despite me constantly trying and being met with "its just a joke bro" they tried lying me about them using tone tags despite that fact they never used them. I blocked them quickly after that, seeing what they were doing but barely a day after they tried talking to one of my partners about it.

In the message A sent they tried to place all the blame on my other partner, saying that they deserve everything that happened. They said i shouldnt be absolutely pissed at them about what happened to my partner, what they (A) put them through. To say that was the final straw is an understatement.

A destroyed me and my partner's self worth and confidence, has made us even months later second guess our every word and even our friends. Afraid their gonna turn against and treat us like A did. A made me question my own judgment and stuff with their lies. They tried placing blame on me for unrelated things, they tried to ruin my image. And as we later found out A physical hurt one of the three people in our group they knew irl, often.

Im still constantly afraid of A finding their way back to the new server even tho they're blocked, ive had ex friends stalk me to almost creepshowart levels and i wouldn't put it past them to do that. Most of the process i made with my friends to open up and be myself more destroyed. I fear people talking behind my back again, cuz apparently A tried starting a secret server with my friends who were aware of what happened due to exams to trash talk me, which failed but still.

I still feel terrible about all this, i didnt speak out when A originally started trash talking my partner out of fear, now i feel bad for causing my friends to basically lose our originally server because of this. The guilt eats at me even tho i know this was the best choice for everyone

Tldr/summary cuz its long

An ex friend of mine would constantly bully me and one of my partners and when we finally stand up for ourselves they tried manipulating us and our other friends into making them the good guy and us the bad guys. Even going as far as trying to fake evidence (which ive learn as of writing this)

Even months after im still suffering the effects of everything and i dont know how to try moving on. I am trying to seek therapy again but the health system here is terrible and expensive, so im trying to possibly find ways to help myself while waiting

Hi Shadow,

I'm so sorry to hear about the toxic friendship you had. The way your friend treated you and your partner was completely unacceptable. Their behavior of making mean-spirited jokes, targeting and insulting both of you, and dismissing your requests to stop is not a sign of love or friendship. It's important to remember that you deserve respect, kindness, and support in your relationships.

It seems like A used their position as a mod to further their harmful actions. Deleting messages, manipulating situations, and attempting to shift blame are clear signs of their toxic behavior. It's unfortunate that they tried to undermine your self-worth and confidence, as well as create divisions among your friends. This kind of treatment can have lasting effects, but it's essential to recognize that their behavior is a reflection of their own issues and not a reflection of your worth.

Please know that healing is a gradual process, and it's okay to give yourself time and space to heal at your own pace. It's understandable to have moments of doubt or fear, but try to remind yourself that you have taken positive steps by cutting off a toxic relationship. You deserve peace and happiness in your life.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[partofyourcrisis]

hi guys (my like. 4 followers) i was tagged a while ago to do one of those get to know you things with the questions or the prompts and so i tried to write this earlier but then i didnt know if i was supposed to do the same prompts or if there was a different post somewhere but then i just got nervous and never did it because i never actually write my own posts on this hellsite (affectionate) but anyways here goes (thanks jo @fluxofdaydreams for the tag you are so cool) (also im pretty sure i put a readmore right below this text but i never make posts so i cant be sure so im so sorry for putting a long post on your dash if i did)

1. last song: according to what was up on my spotify when i opened the app just now its beyond the mist from the alice in borderland soundtrack but the most recent. lyrical/non-instrumental song ive listened to was apparently i am my own muse from the new fall out boy album which i find hilarious because its buried in my spotify history surrounded by a bunch of other scores and soundtracks and other instrumental music and its possible that i love it so much because it reminds me of those. anyways. sorry to ramble

2. last show: the bear season 2

3. last movie: escape room and escape room 2: tournament of champions both of which i watched last night because i love shitty horror and i love puzzles. they were pretty good for entertainment purposed and “try to beat the characters to figuring out the puzzle” purposes

4. currently watching: im in the middle of. so many things. ive started one piece but can you really say you’re currently watching one piece if its more like you’ve resigned yourself to the fact that watching all 1064 and counting episodes of one piece will take years of your life, rather than days?

5. currently reading: i just finished ninth house and hell bent by leigh bardugo yesterday and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow by gabrielle nevin like 20 minutes ago

6. current obsession: honestly nothing is making me chew drywall rn surprisingly. i also dont have a good enough memory to tell you what it was most recently. i only really let myself obsess over something after ive finished it because i try to avoid spoilers so. idk.

i dont really know who to tag who would explicitly welcome being tagged since i havent really talked to anyone on here (i mostly communicate by liking and reblogging things from people i like) but if anyone does actually want to do this i would love to learn more about any of you

thanks for listening, void

[witchings-ofkoi]

Welcome to

my corner on this hellsite!

sorry i moved to another blog, this one is no longer active.

please help support me during my tough times!

koi: im no longer doing the grimoire posts. my other witchcraft blogs are still up and i still post there!

--

e: i have/will have my own seperate blog now

DNI

(pro) endos/tulpas/non-traumagenics, people who say "sysmed/traumascum"

anti-mspecs, lesboys/turigirls, police pronouns and identities, anti-conflicting lables/identities

homophobic, transphobic, aroacephobic/exclus, enbyphobic, generally anti-lgbtq or lgbtqia excluse.

(pro) p/do(e) / MAP whatever they call themselves

anti-self dx(with research!)

dont respect triggers/boundaries

christian/catholic (mostly okay so long as you dont push it on others or talk about it a lot.)

are against witchcraft, paganism and/or wicca

racist, sexist, islamaphobic, anti-Semitic

proshipper/anti-anti, pro-/ncest(i)

Terf, Radfem, Swerfs

believe in narc/borderline abuse or think all cluster b disorders are inherently manipulative/abusive

OTI

system

witch, wiccan and/or pagan

none of the dni apply to you

neutral on discourse (as long as you dont bring it up)

mogai and/or lgbtqia+

like punk rock/rock music and/or alternative fashion (cool as fuck)

dont mind my nonsense/shitposting

BYF/BYI

PLEASE use tonetags when interacting.

if you make me uncomfortable, break my dni, cross any set boundaries im blocking you.

dont block evade (creating a new acc just so you can bypass the block and interact) its disrespectful.

im canadian and occasionally speak french if you need a translation for anything at all please dont hesitate to ask!

prone to updates.

whats on this blog?

old posts, no longer anything new.

if something one of us said in the past at any point upset you: sorry, wasnt our intention, take a breather and move on, we try to avoid conflict as much as possible.

other blogs im on:

no longer comfortable giving that away here.

ask for:

where to find me if you still need me: i'll appear every now and then to answer dms

old tag list

#kois hoard = my label hoard from mogai blogs i follow (old tag was #spectre's hoard)

#toadstools grimoire = my witchcraft series

#koi dont look = posts containing something on my blacklist

#koi posting = post has no real purpose/shitposting tag

#koi rambles = kois rambling about nonsens

#koi talks = koi made/reblogged this

#kois saves = things koi saved for later

#admin e = eris/eros's tag / eris/eros made/reblogged this post

(to be updated!)

links!

grimoire series: intro . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 .

headers made by myself on .wateryourgender

--

if im missing anything let me know!

[gwaaaaar]

I posted 5,713 times in 2022

102 posts created (2%)

5,611 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@choco-myth

@beth-bethar00

@boronal

@willowfoxthefox

sean-gaffney

I tagged 441 of my posts in 2022

#mazm - 31 posts

#vatican miracle examiner - 20 posts

#vatican kiseki chousakan - 16 posts

#mazm thy creature - 12 posts

#identity v - 11 posts

#mazm hyde and seek - 9 posts

#mazm phantom of the opera - 7 posts

#baccano! - 7 posts

#baccano - 7 posts

#ganji gupta - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#reminds me of that one meme you made where its like this edible aint shit and its a pic of light music club cater saying i always wanted to

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ok hear me out, Ganji and Mike accidentally crash into each other during a match or something and they drop their Red balls. They scramble to pick what they assume are their own items but we cut to Mike trying to flip over a rail and the ball bounces back and hits him square in the face, he's out like a light. Now zooming over to ganji he's taking aim then BOOM! his bats on fire, Ganji is now chasing the hunter with a flaming glorified stick,ganji is now banned from Duos

Holy shit yes oh my god 😭😭😭😭. Clusmy anime girls with toast in their mouth except, threats to the hunter that dropped their balls.

30 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

#4

Raoul de Chagny (Mazm one maybe idk) is such a sigma male but also an L bozo. Mans literally cannot get manipulated by erik bc hes too stupid but at the same time he goes into eriks box to assert dominance only to pass out like an idiot. And the scene in the forest where he HAD A CELAR SHOT AT ERIK AND MISSED. L bozo.

32 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

#3

Having finished Hyde and Seek like 3 days after release here are some of my thoughts. There's gonna be some stuff implied so read with caution, i wont say outright but ill talk abt the implications. Sorry most of this is Alan rambling I have brainworms and I'm ill.

-Alan is literally my malewife. Love at first sight, if Noah is my little meanwhore Alan is my malewife. I love their big boobs.

-Pollie>Sally. My heart dropped when Alan tried to ask Sally out like out of all people, Sally? Good news though hes single by the end.

-Pollie is literally that one tumblr post where its like let women be pathetic little meow meows too. She is the definition of a pathetic meow meow and i love her for that.

See the full post

45 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

#2

LOLIROCK IS OUT FOR MY BLOOD WHY DID THEY GIVE HIM M SHAPED LIPS WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS THEY DID THIS ON PURPOSE HWGWJAGEJAHEHNSGEJSJSGZ

93 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Alright so ive been seeing this going around, the lack of paint on Sam in ENG . I dont want to start shit though, im saying this as a disclaimer. And i want to say this as controversial as it may be: it was for the best probably.

Voodoo has a history of being portrayed as dark magic which is horrible. Voodoo is a religion not satanic not dark magic. It is as much of a religon as Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, etc. Respect it. I like the bone paint too, it looked cool, but clearly its more cultural appropriation rather than appreciation on Sam (voodoo practicers if you can please tell me if ive said something wrong).

"Cancel culture" isnt just an "sjw" thing, its used to talk about problems. Saying "twst shouldve just stayed in jp" bc of the problematic aspect isnt good. We have to address problematic issues with culture and racism. Twst has racist aspects you cannot deny that. It doesnt mean you cant enjoy twst at all, but stay openminded and listen to minorities when they speak. Cultures arent "aesthetics" :/

284 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

welp, isnt that a doozy

[showinalittlelife]

rhea, i'm going to tell you “fuck you” in the most affectionate way because you wrote something that destroyed me but somehow made me so happy. i cried the last three episodes of stravin' darlin' and i thought the mcd tag was for [REDACTED] but i never imagined it was for [REDACTED] and now i can't stop crying.

okay first i want to say thank you so so so much for writing that beautiful ff. second i want to tell you that you're an amazing writer, you wrote something that made me feel like i was watching some kind of coming age movie and i loved every second. and third i have a doubt. when mary gave the bracelet to barty and told him that evan's bad luck was ending, she meant that because he was dying, right? and what would have happened if barty hadn't given the bracelet to evan? how different would the ending have been?

again thank you for stravin' darlin'. that ff will always have a place among my favorite ff xxx!

HI😭😭

gahh you finished it okay…i’m sorry. but fun fact 4 u it was actually supposed to be the other way around! i had that ending planned for the longest time until i didnt. (i think i remember asking @neaverse to pick who dies bc it’s her fic anyway)

and coming of age movies/books are always my favs so this means everything to me u have no idea i’ll go bawllll.

now 2 answer your questions! 1 i’m gonna be so honest with u i have no fucking clue i just woke up and my brain isn’t braining but i do also remember rambling to nea about it so it’s probably buried somewhere in our chat. but! i do like your version a lot sooo if anybody cares anon is right! anon is smart!

and GOD hmmm. how different the ending would’ve been…i have a lot to say so i’ll ramble under the cut yeah?

starting this off by saying that i’m a v superstitious person so i have thought abt this a lot while writing it and hm.

i think barty giving evan the bracelet was kinda? delaying the inevitable? (evan dying. he was always meant to die first) so if barty hadn’t given him the bracelet, nothing bad would’ve even happened to him. he wouldn’t have died. (the he in question is barty. he doomed himself by giving evan the bracelet.)

i like to believe that if he hadn’t given evan the bracelet, he would’ve died when he got shot. that’s actually kinda the symbolism of the bracelet breaking. yknow with jade bracelets how they break when they ‘serve their purpose’ aka just ward off enough negative energy? it’s the same with evan’s bracelet, it protected him when he got shot! that’s why he didn’t die! and that’s why it broke! because (🥁🥁🥁) it served its purpose!

sooo the ending would’ve probably looked like barty killing himself to be with evan. or maybe he didn’t. i honestly don’t know this guy’s brain is so difficult sometimes. but i dont think he would’ve been able to live without evan sooo…do with that what you will!

lastly tysm for ur asks theyve seriously made me so so happy and so so giddy i love talking abt sd and u showing love to her (and me! im not happy with the writing of her at all so u complimenting me on that is so <3) i hope u had a lovely lovely week because you’re such a lovely person ty again<33

[w-stote]

J'ai publié 723 fois en 2022

C'est 600 billets de plus qu'en 2021 !

27 billets créés (4%)

696 billets reblogués (96%)

Les blogs que j'ai le plus reblogués :

@alphaweeb

@skywalker42

@mrkarkalicious

@mooksmookin

@natroze

J'ai étiqueté 36 billets en 2022

#19天 - 2 billets

#rant - 2 billets

#asexual - 2 billets

#i am just irrationally angry at the moment - 2 billets

#i am into something i think - 2 billets

#genshin impact - 2 billets

#me rambling - 2 billets

#for writing purposes - 2 billets

#19 days - 2 billets

#the silmarillion - 1 billet

Longest Tag: 63 characters

#the only thing i can do is wait on the phone that never answers

Mes billets vedette en 2022 :

n°5

Ok so everyone know about the meme that every popular artist has their NSFW art side account. And in my mind it makes sense. NSFW shit is usually weird position and nude character involving more than one character so of course drawing lot of that can improve your art... So I kinda wanna try that.. like the NSFW side account thing to help me with my drawing skills. Because why not? Anything to improve my skills. But then I remember I am a most-of-the-time-sex-repulsed asexual. I might have a problem with that idea...

5 notes - publié le 7 août 2022

n°4

HOW TO COP IN 4 MINUTES I NEED TO GO BACK TO WORK

7 notes - publié le 1 janvier 2022

n°3

Ayaka and thoma being best friend

I think its already well established for the one that doesnt ship ayaka with thoma that like... they are both fruity, but what about the fact that thoma is pratically Ayaka's maid and that Ayaka is pretty lonely? Well let's combine the two together! Thoma has become over the time Ayaka's confident and closest friend.

headcanons under the cut :3

i dont think there is a precise moment that Ayaka and Thoma became best friends.. or even friends.

Like the Kamisato family "adopted" Thoma when he was still young and Ayaka was still a kid too.

So they pretty much grow old together. At first it was a really distant relationship. The one of a child learning to be a noble and the one of a childe learning to be a servant.

But then Ayato started to make sure that Thoma still had fun

he is still a kid/teen after all

Then they started to talk a litle bit more... and more importantly play together...

the other maids and servants where always speaking about how cute they were together and how well mannered Thoma was around Ayaka

in fact the well manneredness came from a place of not wanting to hurt Ayaka. He had no trouble to see her strentgh and that she could take Thoma's full force.

but Ayato was scary when his sister was hurt

playing over the time started to change into training.

technically being a servant Thoma didn't have the "right" to train at the same level as the Kamisato heirs.

but again Ayato played his card and made sure that Thoma was well educated and trained

Thoma was grateful and he did his best to learn as much as possible

he even started to get ambitious. and thats how he became a housekeeper as well as a fixer

NOW BACK TO HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH AYAKA

(sorry for the outburst i am just very excited about this part)

OK so over the years Ayaka realised how lonely she was with no friends and just her duty and limited power in her hands

Thoma comforted her many times when the pressure was too much or that the solitude was unbearable.

she helped him too, making sure homesickeness was healed by importing mondstat specialities or bringing him wherever he wanted to go in inazuma

but they didn't really called themselves friends.

that made people speculating things... two young persons being so close to each other and not calling themselves friends? must be romantic feelings involved.

but then Ayaka met the traveler

she realised what friendship meant and that Thoma and her were friends.

She started to be more honest with Thoma and talking about things she only thought in the past...

like gossips she heard.. or secrets she found in the archives of the kamisato's

Thoma fueled the rumors she provided with things he heard on the street or with the other housekeepers

At some point they started talking about love. But not between them

Voir l'intégralité du billet

13 notes - publié le 26 mars 2022

n°2

Ok so everyone is screaming about tianshan and like i get it BUT LEARNING ABOUT JIAN YI'S FATHER IS MORE IMPORTANT FOR ME!!! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YEARS

23 notes - publié le 3 décembre 2022

Mon billet n°1 en 2022

Chiluc hc part 4? :)

(I had an writer block for the past 2 month I am trying to beat it into submission)

_______________

I have this idea of Diluc going to Snezhnaya to beat some fatui everytime a mild inconvenience happen in his life or in Mondstadt in general

Adelaide is sick? That's the fatui's fault

The grape harvest wasn't that good? Elzer is ready to see Diluc leave to kick some fatui's ass

Flora didn't sell enough flower? Must be the fatui

Bennett has been missing for 5 days? Those damn fatui!

The stray cats in the city had not been fed enough?! Diluc is already in the snow fighting some fatui.

Needless to say. Diluc is more often that not in Snezhnaya

And the fatui's after the 3rd wave this MONTH are starting to not have enough men to fight him.

So they turn to the Tsaritsa

She has someone in mind to take care of this strange man screaming vengeance in the Snezhnayien tempest.

(she knows damn well it's diluc because of dottore talking to her about him)

She has a harbinger that has the fighting spirit of one hundred men and the battle capabilities of fifty generals.

So she send him the moment she hear about the stranger coming back

Childe was thrilled to have a fight that left him breathless and heartful.

He never won. But somehow, the stranger left every time after winning.

He didn't fight or killed anymore fatui.

Once the harbinger was down and ready to use foul Legacy, Diluc would pull a trick that made Childe impossible to move long enough for the red haired man to leave the battle ground

Only to come back weeks after

Since the first fight, Childe could reach out to those red locks only in his dream.

Until he could. For real.

Those red hair falling all around them. Creating a curtain of intimacy in the little bedroom of an inn lost between two icy mountains.

It is funny when Childe remembers it.

That night. Something had shifted during combat. The blow against him were hitting harder than usual. He knew something was askew

But how could he stop himself?

Finally his opponent that won all the previous fights was hitting like never before.

How could Childe not fight back as hard and as ferocious as dying lion?

So Childe fought back like the dying lion he wasn't.

Voir l'intégralité du billet

39 notes - publié le 10 juillet 2022

Obtenez votre année 2022 en revue sur Tumblr →

[obsessivelycapricious]

18+ Jason Todd x fem!reader fic ramble.

Hey, so this is a idea i've had in my head for a while, but it won't leave me alone. I've kinda written the first part of it already? But idk if I'll finish it. I haven't worked out the ending yet either but a couple of lovely people were interested in hearing it so here goes! Thanks for the support! I'll tag you all separately.

Warnings: excessive torture, manipulation, gaslighting, rape, violence. kidnapping, interrogation, Stockholm syndrome, abuse. I dont specifically mention how old the characters are, but B-Man likes to pick them young so use your imagination to age them up a bit if you like. It's dark folks, and a super slow burn, though it might not be so bad written in brief here, but if those bother you it might not be a good idea to read it. (its hidden under the cut - PS it got super long - 2.5k words.)

You are Robin. Or, you were at least.

Batman picked you up out of crime alley, gave you a home and a purpose and trained you up to be one of the best deterrents to the crime in Gotham. You lived in the manor, and thought of Bruce and Alfred (even Dick) as your family. It's awesome and you love it!

Almost two years after donning the cape, something goes wrong. You get split up from Batman and taken by Jokers men. That night is the last night you see the sky for years.

Over the next three years, you are systematically abused, manipulated, gaslighted and tortured until you are a shell of your former self. Conditioned to obey his every whim, you micro dose of the small crumbs of affection Joker has to offer you. He gives you test after test, pushing you to your limit always in new and horrific ways. You don't hesitate when he asks you to shoot someone in the head or to beat someone to death. The consequences of fighting against him aren't worth it, you have learned that the hard way. He even doesn't always lock the door behind him and yet you don't try to escape.

You hate batman with a passion now, you regret ever having met the man, he has ruined your life and it's his fault that you are where you are now. He abandoned you. Used you for his games and then replaced you like you were nothing to him. It broke your heart when Joker showed you the footage of another Robin running along the rooftops. Your replacement. Heartbreak boiled over to fury and rage.

He passes you around his acquaintances, particularly Johnathan Crane who is eager to test his new strain of fear gas out. Under the gas you see the Bat sacrificing you again and again to get what he wants. If Scarecrow takes advantage of you while he has you in a vulnerable state, no one cares enough to stop him. He wants to know who the Bat is, but you know that telling him will put Alfred in danger and you'll do anything to avoid that

(Thankfully the joker doesn't want to know who the bat is, you're not sure you could defy him like that anymore.)

Then one day, a body gets thrown into the small cell you are kept in when joker doesn't want to play. Its a Robin. You panic, fear and anger confusing you while joker laughs in your face. You know it's another test but you can't figure out what the rules are.

This is where the fic starts. It's about Jason Todd's slow descent from a vibrant punk who loves being Robin to the dejected, abused shell of a boy who hates the caped crusader and will do anything Joker tells him. You know it'll happen, because that's what happened to you.

Only, Joker never does the same thing twice. Even if it works. You don't want to get attached to the boy, but birds of a feather and all that jazz.

Highlights (or lowlights) include:

Having to share a small confined cell with Jason.

Arguing about the Joker and escaping

"Don't you want to leave? Crazy bitch."

Finding out that Batman didn't even tell Jason about you:

“Why would he come for you anyway, huh? What makes you so special?” “I’m Robin. We’re partners. We’ve been through all kinds of shit together. We’re like this.” “Pah. You really believe it too, don’t you? Ya poor sap.” “What do you mean?” “Why go to the bother of finding a dumb punk like you when he can just make a new shiny Robin instead?” “He wouldn’t do that.” “He’s already done it. You ain’t the first.” “That Robin moved away, he’s doing his own thing now.” “I wasn’t talking about him. I meant the other one.” “What other one?” “The other one.” “There aren’t any other ones – I’m the only other Robin that there’s ever been.” “You motherfucker!”

Beating the shit out of Jason in a blind rage because he won't stop talking about how Batman will come for him.

“How long have you known Batsy for huh? If you know him so well.” “Nearly three years. How long have you known him huh? Oh that’s right – you don’t” “What? Three – Three years?” “That’s what I said. Look, I know this is scary, but I trust B-Man. He’ll come for me, we’ll kick all these guy’s asses, take Joker back to Arkham and get you out of here too. It’ll be okay, you’ll see.” “B-Man?” “Yeah, Batman.” “Shut up.” “What? Why?” “I don’t want to talk about him anymore so shut up!”

Jason finally figuring out who you are when Joker comes to punish you for denting his new toy.

Joker calling you pet names while manipulates you and you being terrified the Joker is going to replace you too

“Oh. Pumpkin, it’s alright. I thought we agreed we were over this, no? Batsy kicked you to the curb a long time ago. It’s old news! This shiny new toy of ours is your replacement.”. “What? You’re replacing me too?” “No, no no. I’d never dream of doing something so barbaric, Sweetheart. That’s the Bats’ M.O. You’re mine for keeps. I would never be that cruel, would I?”

Jason taking his anger out on you:

“Why do you hate B and not the Joker? He’s the one that’s doing this to you. He shipped you off to Crane and you didn’t even fight back.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” “No, I know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re screwed in the head. You’re a joke, you’ve given up. Some Robin you are. A real Robin fights back. You don’t deserve the title.”

Joker making you put your Robin suit back on to fight Jason for his amusement. Jason hesitates in the beginning but kicks your ass every time.

Jason trying to comfort you but being bad at it.

Joker asking your opinion on you what you think will break the boy:

"When he gets replaced. Show him."

Weeks of being beaten then long stretches of being left alone with Jason with no instructions.

Catching Jason staring at you when he thinks you're not paying attention.

Joker being caught and taken to Arkham so you both get knocked out and transported there too.

Joker ignores you the entire time he's there as he's being watched to closely, the separation sets you off into a panic when you think about it too much.

Most of Arkham is in on you being kept there. The prisoners who know about it are paid off by being able to play with you - and now Jason too.

Jason thinking in Arkham he would have more chance of being able to escape.

You being subjected to more of Crane's abuse and different types of gas.

Jason being brought back to your cell after being tortured by calendar man and offering him comfort for the first time.

Being cut open and tortured by Zsaz.

Huddling up in the abandoned wing of Arkham for warmth and comfort.

Remembering that you had met before, years ago in the Narrows before Batman took you to be his adopted daughter.

Jason taking care of you while you recover.

Giving Jason advice on how to cope and get through the different villains taking revenge on you.

Jason being hurt and tired and snapping at you, causing an argument where you lash out at him:

"I had to go through this all on my own, dickweed. I didn't have anyone to hold my hand and tell me I wasn't going to die. So fuck you! God forbid I try and help your sorry ass."

Jason being tortured by two-face and seeing Batman and a new Robin visiting Arkham. They don't hear him scream for them to help. It breaks his heart and his will to fight.

You knew it would happen, but seeing it first hand makes your heart break for him. You didn't want to be right. You hate Batman more for what he's done to Jason than what he's done to you.

"I was right there (y/n)! Right there and he didn't even look at me."

Talking about Alfred and how much he means to you both.

Thinking you might actually have feelings for Jason after all.

Being transported back to the compound when Joker finally breaks out of Arkham again only to be in separate cells.

Having major separation anxiety from not being able to tell if Jason is okay.

Joker being jealous of your attachment to Jason and doubling down on his control over you.

He tries to take you outside and you panic so badly you beg him to take you back because you're terrified of what being free will mean.

Joker telling you that you failed his test by getting attached to the boy. He tells you that he's going to kill Jason to teach you a lesson.

Being put back in a cell with Jason to find his face has been branded and he's just so utterly void of any hope or any life.

Sitting next to Jason in the cell with your head on his shoulder.

Jason knowing he's going to die without you having to tell him. His voice is quiet and resigned, almost with a shred of relief when he says:

"He's going to kill me soon, isn't he?" "I'm going to miss you, Jason Todd." "I'm glad I got to know you, (Y/N). I'm sorry I couldn't get us out." "It's okay."

You kissing his cheek as you drift off huddled together for the last time.

Joker forcing you to watch as he beats Jason repeatedly with a crowbar, ignoring your defiant cries and struggles for him to stop.

"Which hurts more Little Red? Hmm? Forehand? Or Backhand? I think (Y/N) would like to know!"

Joker blaming you for having to kill Jason:

"And all because of your silly school girl crush. What a waste. I'm very disappointed in you, Dolly."

Being dragged away screaming from his lifeless body and thrown into the back of a van just in time before the building explodes.

That's the first half. For the second half to the ending, I haven't quite figured out yet. I've got a few ideas, but I can't decide what would fit better, feel free to help me out here.

Batman could find her after all this time, new evidence being uncovered during the explosion and in his grief about finding Jason's body he could question that he never actually found yours. Of course then you'd be homicidal and try to kill him, resulting in you being locked in another cell, this time in the Batcave. You'd get to scream at him about all his failings and what a terrible person he is though so that could be cathartic. Alfred (And Dick a little) manages to talk you back to some kind of sanity but you are forever changed by this. You meet Red Hood at a later date: on your way to find an egg and cheese sandwich when someone pulls a gun on you. Seeing you again jars him out of his own homicidal rage long enough to care about the girl who he couldn't save, giving the BatFam an opening to reason with him some.

-Or-

Joker keeps you hidden away and the Bat still has no idea you even exist. It stays that way for two more years where you eventually become completely numb to everything he or his acquaintances do to you. Joker eventually gets bored at the lack of reaction and in his boredom he gets careless. A new vigilante takes it upon himself to blow up to compound and best all Joker's men, he escapes but the vigilante doesn't chase after him and instead he finds you. You resist his attempts to save you, knowing how angry Joker will be so instead, Red Hood punches you in the face, knocking you out. He carries out into the night and you wake up somewhere new and he tries to help unravel the fuck ton of issues you've got while dealing with his own. He'll probably enlist the BatFam to help once he's done wanting to kill them, unless you can talk him into killing the Bat together, after the Joker dies of course.

-Or-

One day, maybe a year after Jason dies, Joker decides he's bored of you and gives you one last curveball. After more than 6 years of being isolated and abused, you wake up in an alley on the streets of Gotham, alone. Abandoned again. After several panic attacks and not knowing if it was a test and that you should run back to the Joker or going to find Alfred because he's the only person in the world left that you trust, you decide to leave Gotham altogether. You make it out and somehow navigate your way to having an apartment, a job and even a quiet life in Bludhaven, away from the Bat and the Clown and the nightmares. Except that one day, while you're drinking your morning coffee in a café, Dick Grayson sits down opposite you. You're stable enough not to react immediately, and Dick seems to really care that you're alive and well. Turns out that the Bat found out about you and decided to leave you alone this whole time (which only serves to double down on your feelings of abandonment) Only the joker is out of control and they think that you could help them by giving them an insight into how the joker works. They've got a new Vigilante to deal with too so they're stretched pretty thin. You flat out refuse which is when it turns out it really wasn't a request. You are taken back to Gotham and confronted with the BatFam, helping them reluctantly when Red Hood breaks into your new apartment, demanding information. You argue, and it feels too familiar, setting off a panic attack when he ribs you about your complicated relationship with the Joker. Identities are revealed and you work together to take down the Joker.

The epilogue to this saga would be some time after any of those options.

Both you and Jason finally in a healthier place where you can actually acknowledge what has been growing between you two since you were paired together all those years ago. It's not a neat and tidy happily ever after, it's messy and full of arguments, fears and misunderstandings but it's also full of tenderness, softness and love. And the sex is really good too.

-

If you got this far, thanks for reading! Let me know what you think? Come chat to me anytime!

[lemongogo]

hi i was reading ur tags and just wanted to share my interpretation of the whole haibara situation bc i am very emotional abt him. imo, if gege had chosen to set the manga back in 07 during gojo and nanamis teenage days, there’s no doubt in my mind that haibara would be the main character. initially u might think it would b gojo but if we follow the stereotypical shonen protag archetype, gojos abilities were already much too powerful and developed for him to make a suitable mc. in that vein, bc haibara was still learning and had vast room for improvement, along with his happy go lucky and optimistic personality and what with nanami being his angsty emo deuteragonist, he would’ve made for the most perfect stereotypical anime protag (if we also take into account gojo and geto as his powerful upperclassmen who inspire him to train harder to b more like them then it makes it even more perfect). so yes i think haibara was meant to heavily parallel itadoris character.

ur also correct in saying haibaras death was catalyst, as it led to nanami running away from the jujutsu world. haibara and nanami, while we didn’t see too many interactions between them, were pretty clearly meant to b best friends. seeing ur bsf who’s ALSO a fellow child die in battle was probably definitely hella traumatizing, and i think it made nanami realize that the jujutsu world was just taking children and placing them into the role of a savior before they were even properly equipped to deal with it. so nanami leaves yadda yadda yadda and then he comes back. and i think he sees a lot of what he saw in haibara in itadori as well. nanami doesn’t want the same thing to happen to this child who isn’t much younger than the age in which his best friend died, and so he kinda takes on the responsibility of making sure to protect what little he can. i think he kinda sees it as his second chance of sorts, a way to finally do what he couldn’t do back when he was 17 years old. so haibara appearing to nanami as he’s dying and questioning his purpose was i nanamis conscience reminding him of the one he lost, and the ones he’s still trying to save. the guilt of haibaras death never truly left him, and so by protecting this new generation of sorcerers i feel like he’s trying to combat that pain with his new purpose of being the adult he wishes he had access to when he was a kid.

(also it’s not rly clear how haibara died exactly, but the manga implies his lower half was ripped off or destroyed or smth, going by the shape of his body under the sheet in the morgue)

okay that’s all sorry for rambling i just. i get very sensitive abt haibara and nanami sometimes LMFAO

omg omg no dont be sorry , if anything im so sorry to keep u waiting AHKHAK i rmbr reading this the first time u sent it and it was so sad that i legitimately couldnt think abt it for a bit LMAOO no but thank u so much for taking the time to write this ;_;

i loveee love love how such a small scene can hold incredible significance like that. although i know there is more than meets the eye, as you've explained, i love how anyone can read that and just Understand, albeit abstractly, haibara's influence . the implications it holds for nanami and nanami's motivations, and how that , in turn, affects itadori. theres something so heart rending abt that. like the perseverance of someone's legacy (?) i guess?? and while haibara didn't get a good ending, it's part of his story that moves forward with those who still have a chance . its really special !! and i love that gege decided to allude to him in that moment

i especially love that we don't have to see haibara's face to know its him. and that the simple gesture of him pointing towards itadori was enough. SOBBINGGG

after everything u told me abt him i >............................."so haibara appearing to nanami as he’s dying and questioning his purpose was i nanamis conscience reminding him of the one he lost, and the ones he’s still trying to save. the guilt of haibaras death never truly left him, and so by protecting this new generation of sorcerers i feel like he’s trying to combat that pain with his new purpose of being the adult he wishes he had access to when he was a kid." OUGHHHHGGGGHOSPOHEFN<SS<FN)(#)(#@$@*_)*

they sound like they were so important to each other ;_; i honestly might look into the few chapters they do have, im tempted..