#sorry for the bad iPhone quality I try my best

[eternalyoo]

She’s pretty tonight 🌑

[la-fille-en-aiguilles]

Blackout | Random One-Shot Series, #1

Billy Russo x Female Reader 

I’ve been through a major blackout this week, it got me thinking and this just happened. There’s another Blackout scenario I’m finishing, I’ll try to post it next week. For those lovely people who requested Matt Murdock stories, I’m still on them. Sorry for this delay in delivery, I blame Billy Russo. 

Warnings: S.M.U.T. 

Synopsis: you and Billy are best buddies, always have been. And it seems like nothing could change that. Well, except for a blackout, maybe.

“…you know, maybe I should just give up on men already. Start playing for the other team.”

Billy chuckles and shakes his head, his eyes skimming over the photos that you and him took earlier today at this gallery you somehow managed to drag him to. When his thumb swipes right to see yet another photo, your face suddenly takes up the entire screen, your full red lips forming a heart, a fucking sinful pout, your shimmering eyes watching him with such playfulness and boldness, he is instantly drawn to them and stunned speechless. 

When did you manage to take this photo anyway?...

“What can I say, it’ll be our loss,” Billy answers hurriedly before you come back to his room from the bathroom wondering what the hell has got his tongue. 

He can actually think of a few things, his hooded eyes still glued to the screen. His tongue sure would feel like home on those plump lips, among other places…

“He suggested that we hang out. When did hanging out even become a thing?! What does that even supposed to mean? ” you muse as the shower stops running, and Billy curses himself mentally, trying to ignore the tense feeling in his groin.

Dimming the screen of his phone, he throws it on the bed by his side. With his eyes fixed on the empty doorway leading to the bathroom, he tries to do his best to relax, allowing his back to hit the pillows. 

“I don’t know,” he considers it out loud, biting the inside of his cheek. “Maybe it means, like, let’s spend some quality time together, you know?”

Get naked, have lots of sex and maybe even dinner?, his mind spirals back to your lips. 

What the fuck is wrong with him.

Your laugh is the prettiest thing he has ever heard – and felt. As he takes in the smooth melody, goosebumps immediately spread all over his body, awakening his senses. Like some sort of a top-quality drug, spreading in his veins, getting his entire body tingle with excitement. 

God damn, he has it bad. 

“Is that what you mean when you ask me to hang out?” before he can even realize he said what he thinks he thought out loud, you step into his bedroom, and he nearly groans, and chokes on his own saliva. 

With your hair curled at the ends, the front strands rolled back in some kind of a retro style, your lips still sinner red, you stand in front of him wearing black stockings that hit you just a couple of inches above your knees and one of his dress shirts, because you probably couldn’t find a bathrobe. 

He considers thinking about dead puppies, but his mind already pictures his hands sliding up your thighs as he fucks you into the wall…

“No,” he lets out in a husky voice, flicking his eyes to your face, illuminated with a completely oblivious smile. “I could never-” he stutters, “I’d never want to do that to you… I mean, with you…”, watching your expression darken up some, he suddenly realizes it all comes out wrong.

Bloody hell, just shut your trap up! 

“I mean, we’re buddies, right?” Billy finally manages weakly, hating himself for every word that leaves his mouth. “We can never be…”, he even considers just stopping talking all together, your smile having disappeared entirely, and having been replaced by a small frown and a pout.

That fucking pout.

“All I’m saying, is…” Billy rakes his fingers through his thick mane of hair, exasperated and fed up with himself. “…I don’t think this kind of hanging out can ever be our thing”. 

Just when he breathes out, thinking it could have gone so much worse, his eyes shift back to your face. The next thing he knows you snap at him, your hands on your hips.

“Of course not,” Billy can sense metal ringing in every word. “Besides, hanging out would never cut it for me.”

With these words, you’re a whirlwind of cotton, hair and lipstick, as you turn on your heels and power walk back to the bathroom, tense and frustrated. 

Billy feels like a blithering idiot, staring at the spot where you’ve been standing seconds ago. Moaning softly and biting his bottom lip, he buries his face in his hands. 

He’d really better get his libido in line, before he drives you away with his horrendous stupidity and infinite babbling that doesn’t even make sense.

Your ringtone goes off in the bathroom all of the sudden, somewhat shaking Billy out of his stupor.  You take a moment to answer, swearing under your breath as Billy hears something clutter against the tile floors, probably your perfume.

“Hey, Karen. What’s up?” It seems to him that you sound completely off, some kind of emotion that you’re trying to desperately fight raw in your voice. You clear your throat, and the sound makes Billy’s entire body go cold. 

You are not angry. You’re disappointed, and you’re doing a pretty shitty job trying to mask it. 

“Okay, okay, don’t freak out, Bill and I will think of something,” you dash out of the bathroom and back into where Billy sits. You widen your eyes at him, as if sending him silent signals. “He’s going to call Frank right now, and tell him he needs him to pass by his place. We’ll think of some excuse,” worry laces your every word, and Billy is up on his feet, alert as his Marine senses kick in. Even though he knows it’s just a goddamn surprise birthday party, and nobody’s in danger. For now. “Worst case scenario, he gets to your place before the guests do. It’s still going to be a hell of a surprise!”

You close your mouth abruptly. Billy watches you with concern in his dark eyes, and just as he reaches out and wraps his fingers around your wrist, the lights in his apartment go off, and the entire room is drowned in pitch-black darkness.

Something’s happening on the other end of the line, Billy can tell, as you call Karen’s name a couple of times. He lights up the flash on his phone with his free hand, blinking a couple of times.

“Hell’s Kitchen has shitty cellphone service as it is,” Billy tries to reassure in a hushed voice even though he knows better than to speak. “The citywide blackout sure ain’t helping”.

He instantly regrets having opened his mouth as your eyes shoot daggers at him in the light that his iPhone’s emanating.

“Yeah, no shit, Russo,” you scoff at him. 

Before Billy can even open his mouth and retort, he finally hears Karen’s voice, and you shake Billy’s grip off your hand, without even looking at him. Your voice is a tad strangled but still firm as you tell Karen that the blackout might slow Frank down. You also tell her to stay put while Billy calls him to see where he’s at. 

As you drop the call, you put the flash on your iPhone on and return back to the bathroom, not saying a word.

Having watched you disappear, Billy drops back on the couch, sighing, still trying to wrap his head around how much of a fucking retard he is. He lights his phone up, only to see the No Service message in bold white letters. Muttering a curse under his breath, he flicks the flash mode off, so he’s left sitting in the darkness, his eyes fixed on the light coming from the bathroom. 

“I’ve got zero service, but I still can get hold of my guys so they can track ‘im ,” Billy suggests, his thumb rubbing against his phone’s screen in a nervous gesture. 

“Do that then,” his heart breaks a little as he hears you answer cooly, like you couldn’t give less crap about what he does. “We’ll be going in five, just let me get dressed”. 

Silence settles in the room until you curse under your breath, the light in the bathroom going off. Your phone must have died.

“So the hanging out guy”, he hates the begging tones in his voice, but Billy speaks up anyway, clearing his throat. He knows that probably makes him a coward, but he finds it easier to voice his thoughts while being immersed in darkness. “Did you tell ‘im that? That hanging out doesn’t cut it for you?” he asks, not even sure he wants to know the answer. Because what if she didn’t? 

What if she took him up on his offer? 

Billy doesn’t know how he’ll be able to handle that.

He hears you scoff almost immediately at his lame questions while you’re in the middle of the fucking blackout, but he still prepares himself for the answer, whatever it might be. 

“Oh yeah,” you reappear back in his room, carrying your little burgundy dress on a hanger in one hand, and a pair of killer Loubotin shoes in the other. Knowing you’ll probably need light, Billy lights up his phone again. “I told him to fuck off and call me when he grows a pair… which is never going to happen, so I’m sure as hell safe”. 

Billy can feel the colour drain from his cheeks as he suddenly realizes you may not be talking about that pathetic loser who suggested that you and him hang out, because he is a fucking coward and couldn’t ask you out on a proper date.

As you make a point out of ignoring him, Billy wants to smash his head against the wall.

And then it finally hits him.

Yeah, actually, you are still talking about that loser.

That loser being him.

He squeezes his eyes shut at first, as he hears you hassle behind his back, not saying a word; when suddenly something pushes him up onto his feet, a surge of adrenaline, the sentiment of now-or-never beating his common sense into submission, relative darkness encouraging him to do something he knows he might regret.

Billy turns around to face you, and from the moment he’s struck dumb by the sight before his eyes, he knows this entire situation is going haywire. 

His eyes hit your bare shoulders and exposed back. His stare slides down with the shirt that you are taking off, standing with his back to him. His eyes go wide and his pupils are blown out with lust as he catches a glimpse of the black lace underwear. As if sensing his burning stare, you half turn your head… Your eyes lock.

His breathing has yet to return to normal, but the next thing he knows, Billy is crushing your soft body into the cool wall, his fingers digging into your hips, his mouth ruining that vampire pout of yours. Biting and gnawing on your lips, he is surprised when you push your tongue into his mouth, your fingers snaking into his hair, pulling at it harshly. 

With some kind of wild energy pumping through his veins, fire of lust licking at the corners of his mind, Billy drags his lips along your neck and collarbone, running his fingertips along the lace-covered underside of your breasts. 

“Fuck, Billy,” you moan, your voice barely audible, your nails digging into his shoulders. “Don’t tease”. 

The way you say his name strikes deep within him, his erection rock hard and pressed against where you need him most, he likes to think. 

He has to remind himself that you have no idea how many times he has fucked his own hand pretending it was your lips wrapped around his cock. 

“I’m going to make you come into my mouth and then I’m taking you to bed”, Billy can feel a thorough shiver raking through you as he whispers the words against your swollen lips. A moan that escapes them is downright scandalous and Billy would chuckle if you didn’t unclasp your bra, silently surrendering yourself to him.

As Billy takes one of your breasts into his mouth, puckering his lips against your skin, you gasp, your hips moving forward. It’s only moments before Billy drops to his knees, his fingers rolling black lace down your legs. Billy’s tongue laps against the swollen bud of nerve endings between your thighs. His lips wrap around you, as he slides a finger up your wet, shuddering core.

With his dick pressing painfully against the fly of his trousers, Billy hears you moan his name again. When he looks up, he sees you open your eyes, watching him fuck you with his fingers. He feels you tighten around him, your eyes rolling back as you come, screaming his name and squeezing his hand in between your soft thighs, riding out your high…

—

“Stop staring at me,” you whisper with your eyes closed, feeling Billy’s dark eyes on you. He doesn’t say anything, just chuckles hoarsely and dives down, hovering over your body. His lips burn your bare hipbones as his hands squeeze as much of your ass as he can reach, your skin orange in the rays of the morning sun. 

“God, Russo, you’re insatiable,” you growl, but Billy knows you’re hiding a smile as you bury your face in a pillow. 

“You have no idea,” Billy smirks, kissing the spot just above your belly button this time. His lips don’t waver as he takes this party lower.

Your breath hitches in your throat, and Billy lifts himself up in response, his hungry lips crashing down on yours. 

Leaving you breathless, Billy hovers over you, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Do you think we fucked up Frank’s surprise birthday party?” you ask him, cupping his cheek with one of your hands. “I can’t believe we missed the entire happening. Karen is going to kill us both.”

Billy brushes his lips against yours one more time and from the soft yet mischievous look in his eyes you can tell he has absolutely zero regrets. 

“She hasn’t called, so I think they didn’t miss us much”, he wets his bottom lip. “Fifty bucks says they know what we were up to, and probably drank a round of shots to celebrate”. 

You roll yours eyes at him, but you know what he says makes sense. This dancing around each other and ‘we’re just friends’ crap was getting old, especially for Karen and Frank.

“So what now?” you ask him. 

The stare of those bottomless eyes burns again, possibly more that his touch as his hand slides up and down your ribs under the blanket. You bite on your bottom lip, hard, trying to keep a loud moan in.

“I don’t know,” Billy looks like he weighs his options. “You want to maybe hang out?’ 

This wasn’t what you expected, not by a very long shot. It’s out of your control as you gasp at the nerve of him, gripping his roaming hand so hard he actually winces, the Marine that he is. 

“Hey, easy there, m’love,” you freeze as the nickname reaches your ears. Billy uses your reaction to free his hand, bringing it to your face. His mouth is mere inches away from yours, and you feel your stomach erupt with what feels like hippopotamuses doing an Irish dance. “What I meant is have lots of sex, and maybe even a breakfast date?...”

[ryewi]

a game for two pt.2 (M) - jjk

Summary: Seven days on a school trip to the seaside. Seven days with your best friends, alcohol, freedom and a mischevious Jeon Jungkook who just wouldn’t leave you alone. Sounds fun, right?

Genre: schooltrip!au, classmate!au, smut, fluff, drama, tba

Words: 7,8k 

Warnings: penetrative sex, protected sex, dirty talk, name-calling, choking, spanking, mention of overstimulation, orgasm denial, oral (fem receiving), fingering

Early A/N: well here’s the anticipated part two! hope you enjoy!

“You what?!” Marie screamed, eyes nearly popping out of her head.  

Currently, you were in your hotel room, sitting on your bed as your best friends surrounded you like hungry hyenas. They were drunk, wide grins on their faces while they listened to your words. Marie was the soberest out of them, hence her words and actions were the clearest. She was interrogating you as if you were a criminal and you felt somewhat uneasy.

"We...messed around“ You whispered, head tilting downwards to look at the colorful blanket. It proved to be a better object to look at than their curious eyes.

“So, you fucked?” Marie pressed, leaning closer to you. Jackie was behind Marie, looking attentively as if she was watching her favorite drama. April on the other hand, was laying down and with hooded eyes tried paying attention to what you were saying,

“No!” You snapped; tone almost too defensive. Marie’s expression showed that she wasn’t satisfied with your answer. Why was it so hard to believe your words?

“You guys used my misfortune and emotional pain as time to shuffle behind closed doors, I’m kind of hurt” April butted in, averting the attention of the conversation to herself. She had her eyebrows up and lips in a thin line.

“Oh come on! She probably had the best fuck of her life with the Jeon Jungkook. You could never April” Jackie proclaimed and a quiet ‘ooh' from others followed in suit. She rose up and extended her arm for a high five to which you and Marie gladly replied. “Now spill the tea!”  

“Sorry to disappoint, but we didn’t fuck. Jungkook only had me grind on to his thigh to completion” You confessed, shrugging your shoulders as if to say ‘that’s all there is’. Doubt and disbelief in the eyes of your best friends was more than obvious.  

“And what did you do for him?” Marie questioned; brows furrowed. Have you maybe forgotten about Jungkook, or has the impossible happened and he didn’t ask for it? Confusion washed over her face and you watched her expression change a thousand times in one second.

“Look, if a certain somebody hadn’t called and whined into the phone, I would’ve had the best fuck of my life that all of you keep talking about” Directing a sharp look towards April, you coughed. The female turned to look at you, faking offense.  

In the upcoming moment of silence, you caught the way Jackie was checking you out. Her eyes spent the most time inspecting the collar of your jacket. Feeling uncomfortable, you tried zipping the fly back up, fearing that it had gotten loose after a while. Jackie was fast to react, standing up and on wobbly legs approaching you. Her fingers worked fast, uncovering the numerous purple bruises in a quick second.

“Oh my god” She said, hand waving to call the other two over fast. When they looked over Jackie’s shoulder, another series of gasps sounded through the room. The silence that occurred right after began rising tension and you audibly gulped before speaking up.

“Guys?” They inspected the marks that went all the way down to your breasts, occasionally touching the tender, purple flesh. It was as if they’ve either never seen a hickey or something was incredibly wrong. Either way, you felt concerned.

“He marked you” April spoke up, eyes coming up to meet yours.

“Yeah, and?” You asked, finally pushing them away and managing to zip the jacket back up.

“Jeon Jungkook never marks girls” They answered in unison.

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Jungkook was still laying down on his bed, one arm behind his head, eyes locked on the ceiling. The room grew quiet and calm after you left, leaving the man alone with his thoughts for a while. He didn’t know what the rest of the class was doing, or when his roommates will be back – he didn’t care enough. The only thing Jungkook cared and wished for, was you. What were you doing? Were you having fun? Were you thinking about coming back?

Jungkook craved your presence. He wasn’t wishing for your body, lips, or the way you moaned his name. Jungkook wished to have his hands around your body, to hold tight and lull you to sleep.  

“The machine’s working yeah?”

“Yeah, but it won’t be working for much longer”

The memory elicited a laugh from Jungkook. A soft smile stayed on his lips as he imagined the way you looked at him afterward. At that moment, all of your attention was on him. Jungkook’s heart swelled with a tingling feeling of happiness.

Suddenly, a knock was heard from outside. To Jungkook, in his dreamy state, every sound seemed distant. Yet, he stood up and walked towards the door, opening them to check just in case. Outside, stood William, Jungkook’s best friend but also roommate. Willam wore a worried expression on his face, and Jungkook moved aside so the other could enter.

No words were exchanged between the two until Jungkook sighed and threw himself back onto the bed.

“It’s her, right?” Was the first thing that William said. Jungkook didn’t expect such a straightforward question. He gulped and propped himself up on strong forearms so he could look the other in the eyes. The lights were off, but neither made an effort to turn them on.

“Why did you come back early?” Jungkook asked back, not keen on answering the previous question. He looked behind, catching a quick glimpse of the fire through an open window.

“Your girl came back a while ago and you didn’t so I had to check up on you” William replied, shoulders shrugging as he finished the sentence. Jungkook appreciated his best friend’s concern but felt bad because he made the other worry.

“It’s okay, I stayed here intentionally” Jungkook laid back on the bed, taking a deep breath and biting his lips.

“Did something happen between you two?” William asked, catching Jungkook off guard. Now, William probably wasn’t hinting on sexual interaction, but the guilty is always skeptical of the very thing. Should he tell what happened? Would you be okay with that? Would you want anyone else to know?

“No,” Jungkook answered, the indifference in his tone surprising, “it’s just that hard not to think about her”. He cared about your privacy, hence deciding that it’s probably better to keep quiet this time. William hummed along to what his best friend was saying, although he didn’t believe Jungkook’s words completely.  

“She’s so tender, William. She’s like an ice rose, so beautiful, yet so easy to break” Jungkook spoke, imagining your precious body in his arms. “She’s the kindest and most cheerful person I’ve ever seen” Jungkook suddenly remembered many moments that proved your great qualities. Like that one time, you picked up a bee from a sidewalk and carried it to a nearby flower. Or when you ran out of the line to help an elderly woman after her supermarket bag ripped.

He went on and on about you, his chest becoming lighter as he spoke. William listened intently, humming along and smiling at how soft Jeon Jungkook was.

“Man listen, ask her out on a date” He said. At that, Jungkook had to sit up and look at his best friend with an alert expression. Although the room was dark, he was still able to see the serious look on William’s face. The man is evidently not going to take no for an answer.

“I-” Jungkook began, but the other cut him off once again.  

“You choose to stare at her from a distance like some fucking creep. Also, after every encounter, you run away to reminisce. That’s bullshit Jungkook, where’s it going to get you, man?” William said, voice strong and authoritative. When it came to honesty, he spared no details and that’s probably why Jungkook was so fond of him.

“Just fucking swallow your pride for once, Jungkook, she deserves that much at least”

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

The visits to museums, lakes, memorial parks or places similar to such, didn’t allow you to explore the cities you were in. There was never enough time and the whole tour was in a constant hurry. Today though, the situation was different. The guides have blessed you not with one, but two hours to explore the unknown city all by yourselves. Everyone was visibly excited, happy to finally have some free time with their best friends.

“We will meet here at 16:00 sharp, understood?” Mrs. Montero yelled, her voice an uncomfortable noise to your ears. Instead of investigating the city, she’d probably go to a nice restaurant with the rest of the form teachers. The class eagerly anticipated a picture of her expensive meal in the group chat.

A loud ‘yes Mrs.’ was the answer of your class and just a second later, everyone scattered in different directions. Such a big crowd of students was confusing and you chaotically looked around, trying to spot your best friends. How and why do you always lose them?

“Looking for someone in particular?” Marie threw her hand around your shoulder, wide smile on her face. Her appearance was a surprise, and Marie laughed at the way you flinched.

“Yeah, you and the rest of the cult” Was your reply, eyes continuing to wander around, searching for Jackie and April. Marie turned you around in a swift motion, the two of you now facing a completely opposite direction. April was making her way towards you, iPhone in hand as she seemed to type a message. Jackie on the other hand, was far away, talking to one of your male classmates.

“Is that William?” You questioned, head turning to look at Marie. Her attention wasn’t on you, rather on the pair that were now exceptionally close to each other. She had her jaw relaxed and tongue prodding her cheek.

Ever since last year, Marie had the biggest crush on William. If asked, the female would claim that she doesn’t like him anymore, although that was far from the truth. She’d occasionally mention his shiny black curls and chocolate eyes, her eyes staying on the man for a second too long whenever he passed by. Your best friend liked tall and well-built men, and William delivered just that. She truly wasn’t to blame.

“Shouldn’t you be talking to him?” You asked, a cheeky smile on your lips.  

“Me? Ridiculous. Why would I? He doesn’t interest me anymore” Marie answered, attention finally averting to you. Her pupils constricted upon falling onto your form, giving her feelings away.

Not saying anything else, you wondered what they could be talking about. You supposed that Jackie will tell you once back, and you silently anticipated her quick return.  

One thing that also piqued your interest was where’s Jungkook. William and Jungkook are best friends, usually inseparable, yet the other half was nowhere to be seen. Now that it was paid a piece of thought, you hadn’t seen Jungkook since yesterday. Normally, you’d feel his eyes whenever, but today that wasn’t the case. It was either because the lectures today had been interesting and immersive, or he was avoiding you.

Just an assumption that Jungkook began avoiding you, didn’t sit well in you.

“Guys!” Jackie’s voice sounded from behind. It appeared closer and closer with each passing second and you supposed that she’s running towards you. Her tone was cheerful and loud, indicating that the news she carried were good ones.

“William asked if we’re interested in hanging out with their group” Jackie continued, now in a crouching position as she tried to stabilize her breathing. The group looked between each other, then back at William who was heading somewhere, steps slow and head shaking.

“He specifically asked if we could bring Marie with us” Oh this fucker. That was a game-winning move. William knew how to play and get what he wanted.  

“We are going!” Marie exclaimed and with her chin held up high, walked ahead of others. Then, abruptly stopping, she turned around, confusion in her eyes as she spoke: “But where to?”

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

You weren’t sure if he’d show up, but then, how could he not?

Marie entered the restaurant first, hips swaying left and right as she tried locating the five frenzied men. It wasn’t a hard task, for she had always been great at finding the curly boy at any given circumstance. Besides William, sat Felix and Yongliang and on the other side, Jungkook and Jesse. All men turned around and waved, smiles on their faces.  

You dared to look at Jungkook, but it surprised you when you noticed him already looking back. Jungkook’s eyes never let go of yours, they were clear, warm even. Instead of smirking like he usually does, Jungkook showcased a beautiful pearly smile. He looked different.

Much to Jungkook’s surprise, but also luck, you sat right beside him. There were quite a few things you wanted and hoped to address if there was a chance.

Once everyone was seated, the waitress approached and took the group order with a smile on her face. It wasn’t easy to decide on the types of food all of you wanted to try, because everything seemed delicious. The drinks though, were pretty easy to pick, most of them being alcoholic beverages and juices that were served immediately.  

Noticing that the table was swallowed by noise as others began discussing an intriguing topic, you turned to face Jungkook again. His dreamy state hasn’t changed, big deer-like eyes meeting yours instantly.

“You’re being way too obvious” Whispering through teeth, you pretended to be looking at the beautiful decorations of the restaurant. The words seemed to strike Jungkook with incredible force, throwing him out of balance and making him confused for a moment. Way too obvious? Was he?  

Regaining his posture quick and raising one eyebrow, Jungkook directed an intrigued look to you. “Am I now?” He questioned, only hoping that your statement wasn’t implying on what he thought it was.

“Mhm” You nodded and smiled. Just as you were about to say something else, William threw an amazing joke, making the whole table laugh. Jackie took the chance, and replied with another joke, the laughter becoming that much louder. The more you listened, the more you wanted to record this moment. The only problem being-

“Shit! I forgot my phone!” You exclaimed; a bit too loud for your liking. Everyone turned around and silence swallowed the whole corner up. You hated situations in which the attention was completely on you as they led to quick and thoughtless reactions.

“Sorry guys I uh, have to head back to the bus, I forgot my phone I- you come with me” Without much thought or even reason, you pulled Jungkook up and began heading out. If the boy had any complaints, you didn’t manage to hear them.  

Walking on what you supposed was the road back to the bus, your hand still held Jungkook’s wrist. No words nor glances were exchanged, but a thousand thoughts rushed through your troubled mind. Why have you impulsively brought Jungkook with you? Why wasn’t he complaining? But more importantly, was this the right way back?

Jungkook followed in suit, his thoughts clear. If he were to describe his state of mind right now, it would’ve been heavenly. The man watched your legs furiously stop forwards; head hung low as if you were pulling some big weight. You looked irritated and his heart screamed at him to relieve you.

“Hey?” Jungkook spoke up and stopped in his tracks. His halt had you losing balance and tripping over your own feet, body beginning to fall. Thankfully, Jungkook reacted fast and pulled you back into his strong chest. His hold felt strong and safe. Like a place you’d run towards to find solace.  

The two of you looked at each other for a few long seconds. Jungkook had the chance to witness the way your gaze changed. It seemed to shift from annoyed and troubled to calm the more you looked at him. Jungkook didn’t know why, but he silently wished to be the reason behind that change.

“What’s troubling you?” The male asked, voice soft and quiet. You could smell the cherry bubblegum as Jungkook spoke, his breath fanning over your face.

“Many things” For all you know, you could’ve walked to a completely another side of the city. Without any input from Jungkook, how would you have known? Your tired legs began to hurt so you looked around for a bench to rest. Fortunately, there was one just a few meters away, and you broke free from Jungkook’s hold just to run towards it.

“Well, I’m here to listen if you’re willing to talk” Jungkook said once he caught up and sat beside you. The silence that enrolled allowed your thoughts to fight with each other, mind suddenly having trouble with processing all of the information. Jungkook watched your posture, shoulders tense and back bent, wondering if a hug would make you feel better.  

“Are we even heading in the right direction?” A pitiful laugh ended your question. Jungkook shrugged with his shoulders but was quick to take his phone out and check the map. After tapping a few times, he turned the device around, showing you it’s screen. There was a smile on Jungkook’s face as he spoke.

“We aren’t, but we aren’t far away from the right path” The sticker at the bottom of the screen said that there were 20 minutes of walking to your destination. Sighing and nodding, you thanked him and looked away.

A certain question has been troubling you recently. You silently hoped that you’ll have enough confidence to ask it when the time’s right. Somehow, this moment seemed like the perfect chance and you wondered if it was worth taking.

“Jungkook?” You whispered. Fuck it. Curiosity killed the cat anyway.

“Yes?” Jungkook replied, sitting just a tad bit closer than before. He couldn’t hear you well enough. The way you voiced out his name was as if it was dangerous to do so, as if it was prohibited. The man didn’t like it one bit.  

“Last night, what did it mean?” That wasn’t what you wanted to ask. You repeated a different question inside of your head a thousand times, yet still managed to mess it up. Did you even want to hear the answer to this question?  

“It means that you owe me an orgasm” That wasn’t what Jungkook wanted to reply with, either. Just after the words left his lips, did he realize how horrible they sounded. Jungkook hoped that you weren’t getting the wrong idea, but it was hard not to when it came to words like these.

“Oh. Deal” Although his answer was disappointing, you refused to let it show. What you replied with might’ve as well been an empty promise, a white lie or plain meaningless words. Either way, you still felt somewhat indifferent. Jungkook on the other hand, felt his heart skip a beat. It meant that you’d be in his arms again, no matter for how long.  

Sitting for a few more minutes on the bench, you noticed how comfortable Jungkook’s presence felt. As if Jungkook was someone you’ve known your whole life. It was a pleasant surprise, one that lifted the corners of your lips upwards in a shy smile.

Suddenly, the sound of a stomach rumbling filled the tight space around you. Missing lunch is taking its toll, ruining the atmosphere and probably embarrassing you in front of the other.

Not long after, a noise of tin foil was heard. Turning around, you watched Jungkook rummage through his black backpack. The male pulled out what looked like a sandwich wrapped in foil, immediately handing it over to you. Unsure about the situation, you proceeded to hold it, breathing in the beautiful smell it gave off.

Jungkook proceeded to take another sandwich out and zip the bag back up. He looked at you with an unreadable expression upon seeing the first one intact.

“Won’t you eat it? I thought you’d be hungry since we’re missing lunch right now” Jungkook spoke, getting ready to take the first bite.

“Oh, this is for me? Thank you!” You chirped happily. The sandwich was so good that it was comparable to the ones mom makes at home. There was enough of everything you liked and the beautiful buns were melting in your mouth. You ate with a satisfied heart and hummed at the beautiful taste, all while Jungkook’s heart grew bigger with each bite.

“These are heavenly! Did your mom make them?” Asking with mouth full, for a moment you forgot about manners. Once realizing the mistake, you turned around and put a hand over your lips, heat rushing to your cheeks. That was unflattering.

“I made them!” Jungkook exclaimed, happiness and excitement seeping from his words. The other never looked this happy before. A compliment from you gave him enough confidence to apply for a chef straight away. That’s how proud he felt.

The surprised look on your face was enough evidence of shock. Pointing at him and mouthing ‘really’, you only got another confirmation from Jungkook. Hell, you’d sign up to get these sandwiches every morning if it were possible.

Once finished, Jungkook prepared to throw the foil balls in the trash as if he were playing basketball. Murmuring ‘this one’s for you’, Jungkook tossed the first one and missed. “That was intentional” He said.

“Wow fuck you, Jeon” You exclaimed with a smile, watching how the other’s expression turned pouty. The man tried once again, but upon missing for the second time, ended up giving up. Jungkook threw the trash normally, grabbed your hand and walked forwards.

“Let’s go get that phone of yours”

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Back at the hotel, when dinner was over, students began heading towards their rooms to prepare for the disco. April picked the first thing that she looked at (which surprisingly ended up being an extremely tight dress), while Marie and Jackie took more time. Unfortunately for them, you weren’t feeling well after eating, a sudden stomach ache preventing you from going. Of course, they nagged at you for a bit, told you the sickness will go away after a couple of shots, or perhaps after you meet Jungkook.

That made you laugh.

Because you’ll be meeting him anyway tonight.

“You sure you’ll be okay on your own?” April asked, crouching beside you. She reached out into her bag and handed you a CD. The group carried a few movies, but with how little time everyone spent at the hotel, there was little to no chance to watch them. Thankfully, someone will finally have time to spare for a movie now, or at least April thought so.

Reassuring her that everything will be okay, you sat up on the bed, ready to bid goodbyes. April gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, before joining Marie and Jackie who only waved from the entrance. With a smile, you waved back, wishing them lots of fun.

Immediately after the door closed, you jumped up from the bed and began rummaging through your luggage. Although there were many cute outfits you wished to wear, none of them could do tonight. Less is more this time.

Somewhere at the bottom of the carriage, an oversized caramel hoodie came into view. A voice inside of your head seemed to scream ‘perfect’. Picking it up and pulling it on, you noticed that the hem reached the middle of your thighs. Were shorts necessary underneath this? Fuck it.

Looking at the reflection in the mirror, you swirled in a circle, satisfied with the way you dressed. Glancing around for anything that might’ve been forgotten, your eyes fell on the movie CD. It still laid unopened exactly where it had been left, and for some unknown reason, you picked it up and carried it out.

Pushing the card underneath the mat once the entrance was locked, you headed towards Jungkook’s room. Thankfully, it was right next to yours so it didn’t take too long to reach.  

Knocking a few times, you wished for Jungkook to open fast. Yet, when the door finally opened, it wasn’t Jungkook who you met eyes with. It was William, his face as shocked as the one he was currently looking at. William was evidently heading out, all dressed up, and you only struck bad luck. The boy wore a black shirt with top buttons unbuttoned, and black pants, probably aiming to blend in with the environment of the disco.

“Uh, yes?” William spoke up, after what looked like forever of silence. What exactly was he asking? You didn’t know. Although it took you another eternity to answer, the other was, fortunately, a patient man. He leaned on the doorframe with crossed arms and listened, eyes firmly locked on your face.  

“Hi,” You answered, an awkward smile lingering on your lips, “is Jungkook there?”

“Yes, would you like me to call him?” William replied, thumb pointing back inside. You nodded, whispering a quick ‘yes please’, after which the man was immediately turning around and walking away. There was loud shuffling from inside and soon, Jungkook was before you, a white towel wrapped around his waist.

There was just enough time to inspect how the god before you looked. His honey skin glowed, almost reflecting the light from above. Droplets of water fell from the wet locks, then traveled the long distance over his torso. Jungkook’s abs appeared much more prominent than before, muscles firm and tight. His v line peeked from under the towel, teasingly calling out for you.  

“You’re here! Welcome!” Jungkook exclaimed, holding the cloth with one and waving with the other hand. Waving back, you glanced over Jungkook’s shoulder, noticing the way William shook his head while looking at his best friend.

“I think I’d die of boredom alone, you’re a life savior” Jungkook added, voice intentionally louder than before. The look you were given told you to play along, probably to throw William off whatever he was thinking about. Thankfully, picking up the cues has never been hard for you.

“I even brought a movie!” Chirping, you lifted the hand that held the said object. As you did so, the hoodie rose up to expose your naked thigh. Jungkook gasped and took a step closer – shielding you from William’s gaze.

“You have Netflix here” The man said, voice calm and collected, but there was still a small smile on the corner of his lips. William knew exactly what he was talking about.

“No! We-” Jumping in defense, you were about to deny any of his suggestions. Unfortunately, William began making his way out before you had any chance to speak up. He walked past Jungkook, giving him a certain type of look and whispering something that sounded like ‘please just not on my bed’. Jungkook smirked at that.

“Whatever, see you” With that, William walked through the door. For the first time, his eyes trailed your whole body. Rising his eyebrows and looking at Jungkook, William watched how Jungkook’s facial expression changed. The other frowned and immediately pulled you inside, away from any unwanted glances.

Once inside, Jungkook’s lips immediately landed on yours. Both of his hands came up to your cheeks, holding tight as if you were going to disappear. Jungkook was kissing you passionately, as if it was his last kiss. Swarmed by emotion, your arms locked behind his neck, allowing more contact that both of you craved.

When your lips parted for a quick moment, you stood quiet before the other, taking in how breathtaking Jungkook was. Dark brown locks, although parted, fell over his forehead in beautiful waves. Reaching upwards, you moved the strands away from his eyes hurriedly. Jungkook’s irises shined; pupils big with a clear reflection of you in them. The man wasn’t doing anything, but your heart skipped a few beats.

Jungkook smiled, hand lowering to take yours, as he began walking towards the bedroom. He closed the door behind and sat down on one of the beds. Jungkook was quick to pull you onto his lap, fingers creeping underneath your hoodie and caressing each patch of skin available.  

Noticing the CD still in your grasp, Jungkook retrieved one of his hands and leaned in to place it on the bedside table. Instead of pulling back, the man rested his chin into the crook of your neck. Your chests were pressed together, the quiet beat the two hearts made was a soothing noise.

Then, as if Jungkook finally remembered the reason behind your visit, he gripped the hem of the caramel hoodie and spoke, voice low and strong.

“You’re walking around in underwear only, princess?” Gosh, the pet name. They never appealed to you as much, but it’s only because they weren’t from Jungkook. Now that his lips whisper and burn them into your skin with every sensitive touch, you find them as charming as ever.

“Only for you” You leaned forward and whispered the words into Jungkook’s ears. He visibly shivered.

“Yeah? Only for me? What else is for me?” The man smirked, fingers back on their old path They spread such warmth that for a moment, you thought your skin was burning. The temperature was just enough to rise beautiful tension to a higher level. The moans you made was music for Jungkook’s lips and he wished for you to never stop. His fingers lifted the hem of your hoodie up, and in an instance, it was thrown on the floor.

“Tonight, everything’s for you” Neither of you expected such a statement. Slight surprise was evident on both faces, and time stopped for a little while. It was as if you’ve leaked nation’s top secret. The moment was beginning to get awkward fast, and if it wasn’t for Jungkook’s upcoming move, you’d visibly cringe.

He pressed you harder into his chest, scared that you’ll disappear. There were so many things he could’ve replied to you with, but kept silent. If he asked for your heart, how would you have replied?  

Jungkook swallowed his unspoken words and flipped you over. A sigh escaped your lips as you clung on to his shoulders for support. The man retouched all the bruises he made, restarting the healing process and reminding you once again of who you belonged to. The red patches turned purple again, the sensation of his tongue on your skin oh so sinful.

Without waiting for the other to ask, you reached behind and unclasped the bra, throwing it away in an unknown direction. Jungkook gasped, lips immediately latching onto one of your nipples, while he worked the other with his long fingers. He pinched and pulled on it with little force, already accustomed to the things that made you whine.

Jungkook was impatient, but more so eager to explore the places he wasn’t able to last time. Therefore, his lips continued kissing down your body, coming close to the place where you wanted him the most. The light kisses Jungkook delivered to your stomach tickled. He laughed upon witnessing you trying to shy away, intentionally continuing his ministrations.

The man then hooked his point fingers inside of your underwear and lifted his gaze to meet yours. That was his silent ask for consent and you were extremely surprised about how much he cared. Jungkook too, couldn’t remember when was the last time he was so careful with someone.  

When you gave him a quick nod, the cotton was off and away from your skin. Jungkook took one quick moment to take the sight in. You admired the way the other looked too; broad, muscular shoulders, prominent collarbones you were yet to leave marks on and a beautiful torso that ended with a (still) half-covered v-line.  

Finally, the temptation was deemed too much, as you sat up to untie Jungkook’s towel, watching it fall to the ground. Jungkook’s expression turned surprised while looking downwards, seeing that you’ve gotten your peek before he planned. Sparing a quick glance, your eyes widened in surprise.

Jungkook had a beautiful dick. It was just the right length and probably thicker than what would be considered average. A prominent vein ran down the full expanse of it, and you reached out to run a finger over it. Just as you were about to wrap a full hand around his cock, Jungkook took it into his and pushed you back onto the bed. He was quick to hold both of your wrists up above your head.

“They stay here, alright?” Somehow, Jungkook’s voice became even lower, a slight rasp evident. You loved to tease and rebel, but the way the man was looking at you served as a warning that it wouldn’t be a good idea. Being a good girl for Jungkook sounded much better anyway.

The feeling of his lips on your womanhood was indescribable. Electricity ran through your whole body, shock after shock whenever his tongue passed your clit. His two fingers came up to open your outer lips, tongue prodding deeper than before, wet sounds filling the small space around. It was random figures his muscle trailed, once it were eights, then tight circles or flat lines.

When his fingers came into play, prodding into your entrance, you thought you’d lose it. He tested the waters first, pushing one finger, noticing how you’d contract and coat his digit with sticky arousal. When the second finger came in, Jungkook hissed. You were extremely tight and the stretch was another burning sensation.

“You’re so tight, baby. Does it hurt?” Jungkook checked, fingers stilling.

“It’s only been a while, don’t worry” You reassured him, head falling back after the actions of his fingers were resumed. Jungkook’s fingers sped up, they worked fast, sloppy and wet sounds becoming louder and more arousing. The high began to form in your stomach, coming closer to exploding with each thrust of the digits inside of you.  

Through the tightening of your walls and ragged breathing, Jungkook managed to catch on. One second, one push was enough to push you over and you were so close-

Jungkook pulled his fingers out, much to your dismay. A scream of desperation was ripped out of your throat, a disappointed look on your face, to which Jungkook chuckled. He climbed up, bringing his glistening fingers to your lips. Obeying, you parted your lips and sucked on his fingers, tasting the salty arousal. Jungkook didn’t allow you to think about the taste for long, for his lips were on your fast.  

Fortunately, and surprisingly, Jungkook slid down again, hands prying your thighs further apart. Although you were denied of your high, one touch of his tongue was enough to bring it roaring back in an instant. In just a couple of flat licks, the coil snapped and exploded into a powerful orgasm.

Your shaking hands moved from their previous position, flying to Jungkook's head to steady yourself. A scream echoed through the room, probably even sounding through the walls. Jungkook seemed to love the reaction, working his tongue through your high with a smirk on his face. When the oversensitivity hit, you shied away from Jungkook, sitting up and pushing his head away.

“You moved your hands, sweetheart” Jungkook noted, eyebrows raising in a warning manner. For a moment, you felt nervous, unsure of what the other would do. But this was Jungkook, the man that proved a thousand times that whatever he did was to make you feel good.

“Should we do something about it?” He asked, eyes never once leaving yours. In this position, Jungkook looked quite intimidating. He obviously liked being in charge in the bedroom, which woke up the bratty need inside of you. This was a game for two.

Putting your hands on his shoulders and pushing him back swiftly, you climbed onto Jungkook's thighs, straddling them. The man looked surprised, but was interested in playing along. He tried sitting up, unfortunately with no success. Jungkook could use his hands to lift you up from his thighs but decided not to. He wanted to explore all sides of you, and this one was proving to be quite intriguing.

Your right hand traveled lower, soon in contact with his cock. Jungkook's breath hitched upon the first contact of your warm hands with his skin. A loud and long moan made its way to your ears, Jungkook's head thrown backwards, neck completely exposed.

Taking the chance, you dipped downwards, lips latching on to his exposed and prominent collarbone. If this man was allowed to leave a bunch of bruises on your neck, you were allowed to give one back. It will be easy to cover, but something told you Jungkook won't even try to do so.

Once the purple mark was on his skin, you proceeded to slide off Jungkook's lap and kneel on the ground between his legs. Jungkook rose up, wondering what you're doing. Then, he leaned towards you and lifted your body up. You were thrown back on the bed, a confused look in your eyes, but a wide smile on your lips.

“Next time okay? I don't think I'll last if your mouth comes anywhere close to my dick” Jungkook's voice was sincere, but there was a teasing smile on his lips.  

The man pulled away from you for a moment, rushing over to his bag and pulling out a foil packet. It was ripped in an instant, the sound too loud in a quiet room. Jungkook managed to roll it on his cock quick, already positioned between your legs. He looked at you for a moment, trying to find any kind of uncertainty, doubt or even regret. Fortunately, there was none. Throwing one of your legs over his shoulder, Jungkook positioned himself at your entrance.

“Please tell me if it hurts” With that, he bent down and kissed you. His kiss served as a distraction from the sudden stretch of your walls. The pain was bearable, pleasure already beginning to replace it. The tightness of your walls that gripped his shaft made Jungkook close his eyes and breathe heavily. He was giving you time to adjust, holding back from immediately pounding you into the bed.

Once buried to the hilt, Jungkook smiled. Your eyes were glassy, but there was a smile on your features as well. Jungkook grew accustomed to the warmth around his member, but the need to move was beginning to grow. Giving him a curt nod, the man lowered his hands to your hips and pulled out.  

A ruthless pace was set from the very beginning. Jungkook wasn't showing any mercy, his cock driving in and out from your walls with great speed. He was hitting just the right spots, his hips rolling in the most alluring way. Your hands were spread on the bed, gripping whatever they could find because Jungkook was pounding you with such force that the bed moved with every thrust. Whimpers kept spilling through your open lips, creating a beautiful melody for him.

“Yeah? Is this cock is making you feel good?” Jungkook asked. Not trusting your voice, you nodded furiously, head thrown backwards and back aching from the bed.  

Jungkook was having none of it. His hand came up to your face, gripping your jaw and forcing you to look at him. The hold was extremely tight, fingerprints becoming embedded in your skin.

“You’re going to answer me when I ask you something, baby” Despite his sharp thrusts, Jungkook's voice was clean. Clean, rough and dominant.  

His other hand latched around your leg and found its way to your clit, rubbing quick circles. Jungkook made the mistake of looking downwards, immediately noticing how your heat swallowed him. His cock was glistening with your juices, a new layer coating it with every entrance. With every move, Jungkook felt the sloppy walls contract, hugging him just as tight as before.

Aided by a sudden confidence boost, you grabbed the hand that was on your jaw and moved it towards your exposed neck. Jungkook smirked, fingers enveloping your throat and applying slight pressure immediately. The action made you lightheaded, eyes abruptly rolling back. Your breathing was quickening, hips going out of control as the stimulation from both his cock and fingers became too much.

“Who’s making you feel this good?” Jungkook questioned.

“You!” You screamed, voice broken and raspy. The sensation was so good, you were so close, and electricity just kept sprouting throughout your body. His fingers on your clit sped up, just awaiting that one moment for you to unfold.

“Who?” He repeated, timing the question with your upcoming orgasm perfectly.

“Jungkook!” Your body rose one last time, the grip on your neck tightening just a little bit as stars flashed before your eyes. Jungkook was still pounding into you, enjoying the feeling of your walls spasming around him.  

Not long after, he pulled out quickly, fingers coming to wrap around his base. The man was preventing himself from cumming, and although you weren’t sure if you could go on, there was will to at least try.

Jungkook waited for you to calm down, for your chest to stop heaving and vision to come back. Once he deemed you woke enough and ready to continue, Jungkook flipped you over, ordering to hold on all fours. Standing on hands and knees, you spread your legs, waiting for what’s to come.

He didn't wait for long, his cock pushing through and immediately hitting the right spot. The pace hasn’t changed, and you noted that Jungkook was a fan of rough and fast sex. His balls slapped your clitoris with every thrust, awakening a completely new sensation.  

“Fuck, this ass, holy shit” It wasn’t surprising to hear and feel a sharp slap to you behind right after his words. The hit stung, but it stung in the most pleasurable way. Wiggling your butt at him earned you another slap.

“Baby likes spanks? What a dirty girl you are” Jungkook said, palms soothing the red marks on your flesh before striking again. With each blow, your body jerked forward, eyes closing to stop the unreasonable tears from escaping. The count reached ten before Jungkook was done. Reddened cheeks underneath him became Jungkook’s favorite sight instantly.

Soon, the wet sounds and the feeling of your pussy were building Jungkook's high too. His hand came up to the side of your head, pushing it carefully but with great force into the mattress. Your ass was now perched up, back ached even more than before as you took Jungkook's shaft deeper.

“Maybe you're not my baby, but my filthy little girl” Jungkook noted. You felt that this man was holding back on his vocabulary when you wanted nothing less than the worst.

“A bitch” You breathed out, barely audible, but oh he heard you.

“I guess you are” He confirmed, now feeling a bit more confident. “My. Little. Bitch.” With each spoken word, Jungkook pushed in, only to pull back awfully slow. You felt his cock twitch slightly inside of you.

“O-only for y-you” You groaned, wanting to boost the man further.

“Only for me. Should I let my little bitch cum? Or is she not satisfied yet?” Jungkook's love for dirty talk was showing incredibly fast. The man had an incredibly foul mouth and the words although sinful, sounded oh so beautiful.

“P-please let me cu-cum” Whining, you reached behind to rub your clit. Alas, Jungkook was having none of it. His hand found yours and pushed it behind your back.  

“Whores don't deserve to touch their pussies” The man suddenly leaned down over you, his voice right beside your ear. “Only. My. Cock. Understood?” Each word was punctuated by a hard thrust, and upon the last one, your arm and legs gave up and you screamed. Jungkook was quick to hold you, but his orgasm wasn't any less further away. With you in his arms, both of you fell down on the mattress. Quiet moans of your name echoed through the room. The pulsating of his cock as he filled the condom up with cum prolonged your high and the feeling of bliss for just a bit longer.

Once the highs were over, Jungkook pulled out carefully, oversensitivity hitting the both of you. He took the condom off, tied it and put it in an empty box of cookies before throwing it away. The sound of water running in the bathroom only lasted for a couple of seconds before it disappeared. Jungkook came out and hurriedly walked towards you, holding a towel that dripped water down on the parquet floor. You laid on the side, exhausted on his bed. Although your eyes were closed, you felt the dip in the mattress as Jungkook sat down.  

You felt a warm towel being dragged all over your body. The feeling was beautiful, tired muscles finally relaxing. Jungkook washed every detail of your skin thoroughly before reaching down to your womanhood. He made sure to clean you up well from any remains of arousal before proceeding to dress you up.

Truthfully, this wasn’t expected from Jungkook. His hands held you cautiously, putting a clean pair of his boxers on you, before sitting you up to help with the hoodie. Your eyes were half-open, barely seeing anything as Jungkook managed to get your head and hands through the holes of the soft garment. Once done, Jungkook cleaned himself up quickly, putting on boxers and baggy grey pants, then laid next to you.  

No words were spoken between the two of you. Silence wasn’t awkward, but rather pregnant. Jungkook was an arm length away, maintaining the distance. He wasn’t sure what was going through your head, just like you weren’t aware of his own thoughts.  

Something made you look in Jungkook’s direction. Upon turning around, you witnessed Jungkook’s beautiful side profile. He had a thoughtful look on his face, a frown playing on his lips.  

Jungkook noticed you looking, though. When your eyes met, it was a collision. Two different worlds clashing together and merging into one. Suddenly, you crawled closer to him, Jungkook extending his arm for you to lay on. Your head was positioned on Jungkook’s shoulder, hand spread on his chest and body leaning to his side. His breathing became quicker, and it was possible to hear his heartbeat. Jungkook was about to speak but sighed instead and only tightened the arm that was around your body.

What seemed like an eternity later, your eyes caught on to the clock that peacefully ticked above the entrance? It showed 00:30, turning to 00:31 after a blink. Letting out a puff of air, you sat up, much to Jungkook’s dismay. You were about to leave when Jungkook’s hand grasped your wrist.

The look on his face after you turned around was of pure panic. Jungkook looked desperate, eyes tired and entreating a silent plea. You waited for him to say anything, the anticipation now more uncomfortable than the silence.

His voice was toned in a way you’ve never heard before as he said the following words,

“Please stay a little bit longer”

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AN: Oh my god. Now when I wrote the first part I didn’t expect it to ‘blow up’ and holy shit did it surprise me. Seeing so many people like something I’ve written is still unreal. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I took my time writing this part, just to make sure that I’m satisfied with how it turned out and hopefully, you are too.

Somehow, I cut this part from 9k to 7,8k words, realizing that 1,2k more words might be a tad bit too much. Don’t worry, no important parts were deleted (just my unnecessary over-description hah)!

[theunderdogwrites]

Why I’d Make A Terrible Cult Member

In case you didn’t hear NXIVM founder and Ryan Gosling look-a-like, Keith Raniere, 

was sentenced to 120 years in prison after being convicted of sex trafficking, racketeering and conspiracy after testimony that he had created a harem of sexual “slaves,” branded with his initials and kept in line with blackmail. There are currently two docu-series running right now (SEDUCED: INSIDE THE NXIVM CULT and THE VOW) that give you a chilling look into this cult. Both series are palatable and will have you saying – “How the hell did these people get pulled into a cult? Because from my couch I can tell you that would never happen to me!”

There is so much information out there about the NXIVM cult that I don’t feel the need to educate you on all their dastardly deeds. Instead, I want to ramble on about how the majority of us probably feel we could never be drawn in and held captive by a cult. Plus, after that election in the United States we could all use a wee laugh.

First…

The TOP FIVE Reasons WHY I’d Make A Terrible Cult Member

5. Terrible with Crowds

Does anyone really like crowds? Hoards of people gathering is a whole lot of stupid I just don’t want anywhere near me. Cults can’t survive without people. I suppose you could be a cult of one. If that is allowed, I want that. I brain-wash myself on a daily basis as is (‘Today is going to be awesome!’ ‘You absolutely do deserve a donut!’ ‘Drinking wine from a mug is considered sophisticated!’) so I feel I could make this work. Gym clothes are required clothing but will make an exception for all-day PJ’s on the rare Friday when I ‘just can’t even’.

4. Blindly Following Directions is Not My Strongest Quality

I am not a wanton rebel but I do fail (succeed) at being a part of a collective consciousness, especially where one person places themselves in charge of everyone else. While I don’t require for you to have degrees or letters of recommendations from heads of state, I must insist that you’re not a fascistic idiot. Also, you need to be a good person. Not just on the outside where you’re putting on a show for others, but on the inside where it really counts and shines through without you having to promote your intentions. There is just no way I am able to blindly follow directions from a person who I do not respect. And typically, I don’t respect anyone who craves and NEEDS control over a group of people, no matter the size, to make themselves whole. The bottom line here is: if you are this type of person and you attempt to snare me into your cult, I promise you I will be your problem child.

3. Isolation? Yes Please!

Cults wish to isolate you from your family and friends because then it becomes easier to indoctrinate you without any outside voices cluttering up your mind. Instead of isolating me from family and friends (who, I assure you would appreciate the break) it would be much more effective to separate me from my inside voices, of which there are many. Obviously, I am more attached to those voices than my family and friends and I bet my inside voices would eat your inside voices for breakfast, so if your intention is to try and control me you better be prepared for a fight similar to that of the Game of Thrones Battle of the Bastards. But seriously, I’m begging you… please isolate me from my inside voices. I could use some peace and quiet. This is a cry for help people!

2. Refusal to Have My Food Intake Monitored

The NXIVM cult preyed on women by forcing them to go to extreme measures in order to lose weight. They often had to take pictures of their food (counted and weighed on a scale) and ask permission to eat. Right away I’d have a serious problem with this bullshit. If I want a donut. I am going to eat a fucking donut. You want a picture of it? Ok, knock yourself out:

I’m eating this no matter your opinion.

I understand that withholding / limiting food (valuable protein, nutrients etc.) makes it easier to break someone down but just how far gone do you have to be to allow someone else to monitor and approve BY TEXT MESSAGE what you eat? I guess if we want to pull at this thread we can say organizations like WW, Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem “approve of” and even provide you with what they want you to eat in order to be successful if using their programs… and if I wanted to rip into them some more I could claim they are somewhat “cult-like”, but at least they don’t require naked, compromising photos of yourself just in case you fail to lose weight and they want to keep you accountable.

Confession time: when I go to a restaurant with friends and they want to “share” plates, I am not amused. Who the hell came up with this concept of “sharable plates”? If I want to order some crab cakes (usually two to a order) what makes you think I want to give you one in exchange for some of your fries? If I want fries, I will fucking order my own fries. Now that this secret is out… sorry to my friends who have politely forced me to share my food with them.

1. I Can’t Be Any More Brain-Washed Than I Already Am

BRAINWASHING: any method of controlled systematic indoctrination, especially one based on repetition or confusion.

Here’s a thought – we brainwash ourselves.

Well, first it’s our parents. And we don’t have much control over that for a long time. In that mix of original brainwashers is television with it’s cleverly made and repetitive commercials. We are being advertised AT from an early age and it’s a process that continues for our entire life. You don’t watch TV? Doesn’t matter if you own a cell phone or surf the web or have a pair of working eyes. It’s everywhere. You’re being convinced you need stuff. Or persuaded to believe in the magical powers that alcohol will give you (which through experience is NOT charm, grace or coordination). Just last week I realized I’ve been programmed to not give a flying fuck whenever I see a Kardashian. Or Mariah Carey. Or emails from Christian Mingle (please stop contacting me, you really don’t want this).

We brainwash ourselves into believing certain untruths in exchange for temporary happiness. I believe we all fall into this trap. Let’s be real and admit that life is fucking hard. Our collective goal is to be happy and to survive. If you need to convince yourself of some untruths for a short while in order to get through, you go right ahead. Just don’t let the lie take over your reality. It’s destructive. And you’ll miss out on how beautiful life can be if you don’t pull your head out of your own shit.

These two NXIVM documentaries really had me shaking my head in disbelief over just how these seemingly intelligent men and women fell for such a gigantic load of crap. To listen to this Keith Raniere speak and think to yourself “yes, here is a stable human being I want to follow who just happens to talk about how it would feel to rape a baby (it feels like nothing apparently) and requires us to kiss him on the lips when we say hello and goodbye” seriously puts your mental health into question. Am I right? Because I don’t actually know. Am I sitting in judgement of these cult members? Maybe just a little and that is simply because I believe myself to be… not smart, but not a total moron. Now having said that, I know that everyone is searching for spaces where they can belong. Where they feel comfortable enough to be themselves. Spaces that speak to them and people who mirror their desire to be better, do better. Their tribe, if you will.

If you were brand new to this planet and I told you about this activity that millions of people took part in, in some capacity, where they used a curved stick to chase around a hard rubber object on frozen water while wearing steel blades, you might give me a curious, tilted head look. You know, the one you give someone when you’re trying to determine whether or not they’re insane. Sports teams and especially their fans could be considered cult-like. Some people will shell out big $$$$ to attend the Super Bowl dressed head to toe in their team’s colors. Soccer fans in Europe have killed referees over what they felt was a bad call.  

Look at this line-up:

This was for the release of the latest iPhone (12). All these people brought together by an inanimate object with the technology to make/receive phone calls, take photos, listen to your conversations and advertise to you across all your social media platforms. Oh, and it can tell you the time.

If you dig far enough into the NXIVM cult (beyond the “ring leaders” who profited financially and at the same time fed their perverted yearning for supremacy over others) you will inevitability come across people who were at their very core – lost. Lost and looking for purpose. Lost and looking for a place where they could belong. Lost and looking for something special. I don’t know about you, but when I am feeling lost and low on hope, I don’t always make the best decisions.

Time to go eat all the donuts.

And if you’re interested in making me a member of your cult, please PM me. I come with impeccable references as long as you don’t believe a word of what they’ll say. I really am a constant fucking delight.

[kpoptrashibnida]

Enough Pt. 8

A/N: hey guys, sorry for the delay on this chapter! It has been a crazy time with wild fires and other things going on, but it’s finally here! It’s a little short for my taste, but I hope you guys enjoy it! As always, please don’t hesitate to let me know what you guys think! I’m posting this on Mobile, so once I have access to my laptop I will add the Read More link. Once again thank you for all the support and happy reading!

“Noona, how do you like your new phone?” Mark asked, walking with you out of the conference room and back to your floor.

“It’s fine. I haven’t been able to look at all the specks. The camera quality is good, even though they low key remind me of trypophobia.” You shuddered, making Mark laugh at your description of the newest iPhone camera.

The morning after Mark, Johnny and Jaehyun come over, you noticed you had a text message. To your surprise it was from Chanyeol; and to your mortification, he had answered a text that you had drunkenly sent.

I need to forget about you. Why are you in my head?

Because I’m the best you’ve ever had babe.

Needless to say, you were filled with rage at yourself and at his cocky attitude. You screamed once you realized it actually happened, that it wasn’t some twisted messed up dream. Your brain thought that the only logical action now was to throw your phone across the room, having it crash against the wall, falling to the floor in a broken mess. You had lost your reason, your sanity, your dignity and now your phone. You were screwed and not in the good way.

‘Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! God why did I have to drink so much? Why aren’t there apps that know when you’re drunk and prevent you from drunk texting you ex… or, well booty call I guess? Ugh whatever! Now I have to buy a new phone. ‘

Groaning, you got up from your bed and walked towards your shattered phone, picking it up and inspecting the damage.

“I guess it won’t work if I turn it off and back on.” You muttered to yourself, annoyed at your overall stupidity. You went to the store and got yourself a new phone and as an extra precaution, you ditched your Korean phone number and got a US number. That way, no past lovers could communicate with you and remind you of your poor choices.

“Well noona, we should hang out with Johnny and Jaehyun again, check out just how good the camera quality is.” Mark suggested, really excited at the thought of spending time with his favorite coworkers.

“Sure Mark, whenever I have time we can do that. For now, fetch me some coffee, will you?” You teased as you stopped at your office door, making the young boy roll his eyes.

“I’m not an intern or your errand boy noona, but I’ll do it because you are my favorite old lady.” Mark teased, dodging your foot as you tried to kick him.

“I’m not an old lady!” You yelled at his retreating form, shaking your head at this man-child’s actions.

You sat on your chair and reviewed your notes from the meeting, deciding which tasks to tackle first.

Bring up your planning apps, you started to prioritize your tasks in order to organize your work.

“Knock knock.��� Jaehyun said as he stood at your doorway, coffee in hand.

“Hey, what brings you here?” You ask, looking away from your computer.

“I came to bring you coffee. I was getting some and I saw Mark there. I told him I’d bring it to you.” He said, walking into your office and placing the cup in front of you and taking a seat on the chair across from you.

“That’s really sweet of you, thanks.” You said with a smile, grabbing the cup and taking a sip.

“No problem. So, do you have any plans for this weekend?” Jaehyun asked, ears turning bright pink.

“Um, no I don’t. Why?” You asked, heart hammering in your chest.

“Do you want to go out for dinner Saturday?” He asked, looking at you below his eyelashes.

You were stunned, not expecting him to ask you out. Wait, was he? Maybe it wasn’t even as a date, just as friends.

“Yeah, that’d be nice. Where should we meet?” You asked, heart still racing and face heating up.

“I’ll pick you up at 7, sounds good?” He asked, sitting up on his seat.

“Yeah, sounds great.” You said with a smile, excited at the thought of spending time with him outside of work again.

“Cool, it’s a date.” He said, getting up and grabbing his own coffee cup.

“Yeah… it’s, uh, it’s a d-date.” You stuttered as you watched his retreating form, wanting to die from the smile he gave you as he walked out of your office.

‘Oh shit, I’m in trouble.’ You thought, slamming your head on your desk, sighing heavily and closing your eyes for a bit. Before anyone could see you and think you were some weirdo, you sat up and dived right into your work, praying that it would help you not think about your upcoming date with Jaehyun.

***

The weekend was finally here and you were happy, your work week was long and tiring. Friday after work you decided to go shopping, not knowing what to wear to your dinner date with Jaehyun.

You had gone to a cute boutique nearby the office, not wanting to go to Time Square on a Friday night.

The boutique was classy but not over the top, providing the perfect type of clothing for a first date.

After over thinking every choice and making sure you didn’t look like a thirsty hoe, you finally settled on a pretty emerald green wrap dress that hugs your curves in all the right places. It was sexy but decent, the perfect combination for your date.

You stared at your reflection in the mirror, satisfied with your soft curls and simple make up. You took a deep breath and willed yourself to relax, your heart beating abnormally fast. Your attempts were futile when you heard your doorbell ring, signaling that Jaehyun was here. Taking one last deep breath, you made your way out of your bedroom and out to your front door.

“Hey.” You greeted softly, opening the door so he could step into your apartment.

“Hi. Wow, you look amazing.” He said, giving you a hug before he walked in.

“You too.” You compliment, taking in his appearance which consisted of black fitted jeans, black dress shoes and a navy blue button down shirt. He looked amazing and you were really hoping you could hold yourself back from jumping him tonight, cause god knows you wanted to do that right then and there.

“Ready to go?” He asked, swaying on the ball of his feet, looking nervous and excited and all kinds of handsome. God he was handsome.

“Yeah, ready.” You picked up your jacket from your coat closet and headed outside, excited for what the night would bring.

You were trying to behave, you really really were, but Jaehyun was making it extremely difficult by walking slightly in front of you in the crowded sidewalk, his ass looking so good in his jeans. You almost tripped twice because you were staring at his backside and didn’t see where you were going. Once you got to a less crowded area, you fell in step with Jaehyun, his gorgeous backside out of sight.

“So I got us a reservation at a really popular restaurant that opened up recently. It’s supposed to be amazing and apparently a lot of celebrities go there.” Jaehyun said, making simple conversation on your walk from the parking garage to the restaurant.

“Oh really? Which restaurant is it?” You asked curiously. You didn’t know many places in the area yet, but you were excited to try new things.

“It’s called Pulse, it’s supposed to be a cool Asian fusion place.” He stated, coming to a stop in front of the restaurant.

The place was completely packed full, the line was out the door and still went on for a bit. You were surprised to see how many people were here, the place must really be popular like Jaehyun said. The inside of the restaurant was a decent size too, so the line wasn’t there because it was a tiny hole in the wall type of place.

“This is why you need reservations.” He smirked, grabbing your elbow and gently guiding you inside. You tried to ignore the feeling of his hand on your skin, it burned to the touch but in the best way possible.

“Hi, reservation for Jung.” He politely told the hostess, looking at you and giving you a cute smile. You could tell he was excited and that made you smile.

“I’m sorry, what time is your reservation?” The waitress asked, not looking up from her tablet.

“For 8pm. Under Jung.” He said again, brow scrunched in confusion.

The hostess scanned the iPad with rapid eyes, looking for the reservation.

“Sorry Mr. Jung. There must have been a confusion. We unfortunately don’t have a reservation for you tonight.” The hostess said in an apologetic voice, looking a little sheepish.

Jaehyun's ears turned a bright shade of red and you instantly felt bad for him; he seemed so embarrassed and it was an endearing sight.

“Really? Oh man. Is there anyway we could wait and see if anyone doesn’t show up for their reservation?” He asked politely, the crimson spreading from his ears to his neck.

“Absolutely! If you’d like to sit here in the waiting area, I’ll be sure to get you if anything opens up.” She said and motioned for the crowded seated area.

You and Jaehyun made your way there and sat on a couch, pressed up against other people and each other. You looked at Jaehyun and saw how bummed out he looked, it really broke your heart a little.

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” You smiled as you nudged his arm, wanting to reassure him that it wasn’t a big deal.

“I’m sorry I’m just really annoyed. I wanted today to go well.” He said sheepishly as he looked at you.

“It will. Because we are together and that’s all that matters.” You squeeze his balled up fist softly, once again reassuring him that you didn’t mind the inconvenience.

Jaehyun smiles at you and looks into your eyes intently, lingering longer than he allows himself.

He breaks eye contact and looks ahead, feeling his ears get hot again.

After about an hour of waiting, Jaehyun heard your stomach growl and wanted to shoot himself. 9pm is no time to have dinner and he was upset he’d make you wait this long to eat. He excused himself and made his way to the hostess once again, talking with her for a couple of minutes. You saw him take his phone out and look at something on his phone as he spoke to the hostess, while she furiously looked through the ipad. You were confused as to what he was doing, clearly anyone that had a reservation was here and you guys were out of luck. You really didn’t care if you didn’t get to eat there tonight. You just didn’t want Jaehyun to feel bad about the whole situation. First dates usually went bad and at least you two liked each other and wanted to be in each other’s company. After a few more minutes of conversation he walked back to you, giving you a small smile and a shrug.

“No luck. I’m so sorry this turned out horrible.” He said in a defeated tone that made your chest constrict a little bit.

You stood and grabbed his hand, guiding him out of the restaurant and into the chilly night air.

“There’s a really good pizza place nearby, want to go there?” He asked, nervous that you were going to be disappointed of his choice.

“Yes! I haven’t had pizza in forever! And I’ve never had New York pizza before. Let’s go!” You said excitedly, tugging his arm forward.

He couldn’t help but smile at your excitement, genuinely happy that you were so easygoing since he didn’t meet a lot of girls like you.

Your hand was still held securely in his and no one said anything about it. When you grabbed it inside the restaurant, you weren’t really thinking, you just wanted to make Jaehyun see that you were just happy to be in his company. But now you didn’t want to make it awkward by pulling your hand away. He didn’t seem to mind or if he did, he didn’t show. But you’ve concluded that Jaehyun is a gentleman and he wouldn’t pull away from you.

“Here it is.” He said, opening the door to the cute and quaint Italian eatery.

You were sat at a booth in the corner where it was private and cozy. The atmosphere was very intimate and a live band was playing what you assumed was romantic Italian music. After ordering the biggest pizza they had, easy conversation started flowing between the both of you. Whenever you were with Jaehyun it never felt awkward or uncomfortable and you were extremely thankful for that. You also feel like you could be yourself and he wouldn’t judge you, which is another reason why you enjoy being around him.

Once the pizza was set in front of you, Jaehyun served the largest piece on your plate, making you laugh.

“Do I look that hungry to you?” You tease, watching as the cheese pooled around the slice on your plate, making you drool at the sight.

“No… but I feel like it’s my fault you’re starving, so you get the biggest slice.” He explained simply, placing a slice on his plate as well.

The first bite was heavenly and you were so hungry that it tasted so delicious, you weren’t aware of the noise that was made on your throat. It was a low moan at the delicious taste of the pizza in your mouth, which made Jaehyun’s ears turn a light shade of pink. He was grateful that you didn’t seem to notice and he chastised himself for letting his brain go there.

“So, I have a question.” You said as you leaned back on the booth, knowing that you should have stopped at your third slice but went in for the fourth one anyway. Good thing the dress was forgiving and had some stretch to it.

“What is it?” Jaehyun smiled, wiping his fingers of the grease residue.

“If you don’t have a car, which car are you using tonight?” You asked with a head tilt that made Jaehyun swoon. You were so adorable and didn’t even know it.

“I borrowed a company car.” He said with a chuckle, shrugging at your surprised face.

“Are you allowed to do that?” You asked, hoping he wouldn't get in trouble.

“Yeah! We can borrow company cars for personal errands too. I usually don’t because the traffic and parking in the city is awful. But tonight is a night that required a nice car and not the subway.” He winked, making you blush at his explanation. Of course Jaehyun wouldn’t do anything he’s not supposed to and the fact that he thought tonight deserved a car was very endearing.

“I might need to walk off the pizza I devoured.” You whined playfully, making Jaehyun laugh.

“We can take a walk to an ice cream place, if you like.” He proposed, making you perk up at his suggestion. If you were a dog, your ears would have perked up at the proposal.

“I’m down!” You said excitedly, wanting to eat ice cream now.

Jaehyun paid for the pizza (you tried to pay half, but he didn’t let you) and held the door open for you. You walked to the ice cream place and continued your conversation from earlier. He fell in step with you and nudged his hand against yours a couple times. You felt the butterflies in your stomach flutter around like crazy. You glanced at him and saw that he was smiling down at you, silently waiting for your reaction. Once he saw the small smile you gave him, he got brave enough to hold your hand. You felt your face heat up at the same time you saw his ears turn scarlet.

“Is this okay?” He asked bashfully, making you giggle at his cuteness.

“Yeah, it’s perfect.” You said, nudging him with your shoulder and smiling shyly.

Walking hand and hand, you walked one more block and reached the ice cream place.

You ordered your ice cream and sat at a corner table, sitting next to each other to be close.

“So I want to get to know more about you.” Jaehyun said as he ate spoonfuls of his ice cream, giving you an amused smile. “How about we play a round of 20 questions.” He suggested, making you laugh at his cute idea.

“I love that. Okay, go.” You said, enjoying the delicious ice cream.

“What’s your favorite color?” He asked.

“Purple. Okay, what’s your favorite food.” You asked, settling more comfortably on your chair.

“Honestly the spicy pork my mom makes. It's amazing. What’s your favorite season?”

“Winter, no doubt!” You said with conviction, making Jaehyun laugh at your antics.

“Really? But it gets super cold.” He said, most girls he knew preferred warmer weather.

“Yes but it’s so easy to get warm. Fuzzy socks, warm sweaters, hot chocolate or tea and if you have a cuddle buddy, even better.” You state simply, shrugging your shoulders as Jaehyun laughed at your explanation.

“Ah I see, so you enjoy having a cuddle buddy then?” He teased, eyes twinkling in the lighting of the ice cream parlor.

“I mean, yeah? But I haven’t had one in years, so I don’t remember what it’s like.” You shrugged, finishing the last bits of your cookies and cream ice cream.

“What about that one guy from Korea?” He asked curiously. He didn’t want to pry and seem like wanted to invade your privacy.

“Chanyeol? Oh god. He was not a cuddle buddy. He was more of a wham bam thank you ma’am kind of guy.” You said with an icy tone, the memory of Chanyeol and your…. Relationship not something you like to remember or dwell on.

“Oh, sorry for asking.” He winced, feeling bad for bringing it up.

“Oh my god, don’t worry about it! It’s whatever now. I feel like I’m pretty much over it all by now.” You shrugged, not wanting Jaehyun to feel bad for bringing it up.

“He’s an idiot.” He said, tone low but you were able to hear him.

“What?” You asked, wanting to make sure you heard him correctly.

“I said he’s an idiot. He would have been lucky to cuddle with you.” He said honestly, the eye contact being a little intense for you.

“Thanks.” You whispered, feeling your face get hot due to Jaehyun’s words.

“Ready to go?” He asked suddenly, grabbing the trash from the table, his movements brash and sudden. You figured he was probably a little embarrassed and it is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

“Yeah, let’s go.” You said, putting on your jacket before heading out to the chilly street.

Once outside you began your walk back to the parking garage that was now a couple blocks away from your original destination. You contemplated holding Jaehyun’s hand again. He does seem to be into you, at least from how he’s been acting today. And well, since you have known him. You took a deep breath and reached for his hand, intertwining your hand with his. He looked at you a little shocked but smiled as he squeezed your hand tighter, a silent recognition that he did not mind holding your hand. He actually loved the fact that you took the initiative of holding his hand, giving him the hint that you must share his interest.

You arrived at the car much too soon for your liking, even though you were thankful to be out of the chilly night air.

Jaehyun drove to your apartment while holding your hand which made your insides flutter with excitement. You were in a comfortable silence and you couldn’t help but stare at his profile. He is so gorgeous, you don’t know how you got so lucky to be on a date with him.

“What?” He asked, glancing over at you as he drove through town.

“Nothing. You’re just really handsome.” You stated simply, making Jaehyun’s ears turn a bright shade of red in lightning speed.

“Don’t say that.” He chuckled, trying not to show how embarrassed he is.

“It’s true though!” You were delighted to see him squirming in his seat, his face getting a shade darker with each passing second.

“Alright! We are here!” He exclaimed, parking the car in front of your apartment building.

“Thank you so much for today, I had an amazing time.” You said, shifting your body towards Jaehyun.

“I did too. Sorry for the whole reservation fiasco.” He said, subconsciously leaning towards you.

“It’s not a big deal. I’m just glad I got to spend time with you.” You stated, looking into his eyes intently.

There was a sudden heaviness that settled in the confinements of the car, the two of you getting closer to each other. You don’t know who moved in first, but you felt fireworks explode in the back of your eyelids the second your lips touched. It was tentative at first, slow and explorative, wanting to get to know each others likes better. You both pulled away slowly, your breathing a little heavier than normal.

“Let me walk you to your door.” Jaehyun whispered, voice low and husky.

“Okay.” You whispered, pulling away slowly and reaching for the door handle. You took a deep breath to regulate your breathing, lips still tingling from kissing Jaehyun.

You walked hand in hand to your apartment, quiet while letting the reality of the kiss settle in.

Standing in front of your apartment door, you wasted no time in reattaching your lips to his. His lips were so soft and addicting, you felt like you didn’t get your fill in the car. He placed his hands on your hips tentatively, bringing you closer as your kiss got deeper.

His tongue grazed your lips and you willingly opened them to give him access to explore your mouth. You wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him impossibly closer to you, a low moan escaping your mouth. The sound was music to Jaehyun’s ears and he wanted to hear more, loving the way you felt pressed up against him.

“Want to come in?” You asked breathless, needing to get some air.

Jaehyun groaned, placing his forehead against yours.

“God I want to. Trust me, I want to go in so bad and just- god. Look, I like you. I really really like you and I don’t want to ruin this. I want to take it slow, if that’s okay with you.” He said, massaging your sides slowly.

“Okay.” You rasped, giving him a small peck on the lips.

“Have a good night.” He said, giving you a beautiful smile that made you swoon.

You walked into your apartment and waited for Jaehyun to get into the elevator before you closed the door with a deep sigh. You couldn’t help the smile that graced your face, believing that you most likely just had the best night of your life. A delighted giggle slipped past your lips as you headed to your bathroom to get ready for bed, too giddy to let exhaustion take over. You were way into Jaehyun but you didn’t care. He was amazing and different than anyone you’d ever met. You couldn’t wait to see him again and see where your relationship would end up.

Previous                                                                          Next

[milofuckedup]

Questionnaire; task 2

read more about my boy under the cut

Basic Character Questions

First name?  Milo

Last names? Blevins

Middle names? Dean

Nicknames? Mi, Mimi, Spacey

Date of birth? September 9th 1996

Age? 23

Physical / Appearance

Height? 6″0

Build? Athletic, lanky

Hair colour? Honey Brunette

Hair style? Mess of locks across his head

Eye colour? Blue

Glasses or contact lenses? Neither

Scars or birthmarks? cigarette burns across his arms, a scar above his right eye

Tattoos? none

Physical or mental handicaps? none

Type of clothes? thrift store chic. He lives in light washed jeans and old button down shirts

Race / Ethnicity? caucasian 

Mannerisms? fidgety, stuttery, always rubbing his lips 

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse? “im sorry” “lets play a game” “can we go home?”

Do they have a catchphrase? No

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? pessimistic

Are they introverted or extroverted? VERY introverted

Do they ever put on airs? no

What bad habits do they have? smoking, drinking, running away 

What makes them laugh out loud? just about everything

How do they display affection? gently nuzzling his head into you, resting his head on your shoulder, holding your hand. He likes to be touched softly

How do they want to be seen by others? like a nice person, someone who loves deeply and genuinely 

How do they see themselves? as actual human garbage 

Strongest character trait? sensitivity 

Weakest character trait? sensitivity 

How competitive are they? not at all

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? he over things EVERYTHING

How do they react to praise? awkwardly

How do they react to criticism? crying

What is their greatest fear? spiders

What are their biggest secrets? he is sure that everyone in his life hates him, they all want him gone, so he works with everything that he has to try and get people to stay

When was the last time they cried? right now, he is probably crying this moment. 

What haunts them? his father

What will they stand up for? his friends, his loved ones, never himself

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? indoorsy

What is their sinful little habit? chainsmoker 

What quality do they most value in a friend? honesty, loyalty, wont leave him

What do they consider an overrated virtue? Dignity 

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? his inability to speak about what he wants, what he likes, what he needs from someone

What is their obsession? reading

What are their pet peeves? people biting their nails. 

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? hes all alone. 

What is their perception of family? that it isnt who you are born with it is who you chose. 

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? none

Describe their best friend. Luna Olsson she is selfless, and thoughtful and has picked Milo up more times than he can count, she is the on person on this planet he trusts enough to live with, he loves her more than he thought he could, he has let her in more than anyone else. 

Ideal best friend? See Above

Describe their other friends. Hudson the person he always turns to when life gets too tough. Tanner  the man that he can always have fun with, turn his brain off with and just let himself breathe with. Rion someone who has always been perfect and loving and gentle with him. 

Do they have any pets? no 

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? he was a quiet baby, and a well behaved child, he did everything that he could to get his mother to stop abandoning him  

Did they grow up rich or poor? DIRT poor

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? neglected 

What is their greatest achievement? staying alive

What was their first kiss like? awkward, fumbly, he threw up afterwards because his stomach was in knots

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? make them feel like they were second best

What are their ambitions? maybe get his GED one day

What advice would they give their younger self? its all shit, dont even bother trying

What smells remind them of their childhood? burning tires, old gas stations, and piss under bridges

What was their childhood ambition? to stay alive

What is their best childhood memory? his 10th birthday his best friend came over with a cupcake and remembered the day while his mom was drugged up on the couch

What is their worst childhood memory? take your fuckin pick. 

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? no

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? every day 

What past act are they most ashamed of? any time he has ever been intimate with someone 

What past act are they most proud of? any time he has been intimate with someone 

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? no 

Are they in a relationship? no 

How do they behave in a relationship? like a lovesick puppy, very clingy, very needy, asks if they still love him every twenty five seconds 

When did you character last have sex? two years ago

Has your character ever been in love? yes

Have they ever had their heart broken? yes

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? tears

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? his tongue 

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? the teddy bear his grandma gave him

What do they love to hate? reality television 

What are their phobias? spiders, the dark, being alone

What living person do they most despise? no one 

Have they ever been bullied or teased? his whole life 

Where do they go when they’re angry? on a long drive to the next town over 

Who are their enemies and why? he doesnt like to have any 

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? gas station clerk 

What do they think about their current job? he hates it

What are some of their past jobs? gas station clerk, thief, drug dealer

What are their hobbies? reading, writing, singing 

Educational background? didnt get ANY formal education

Do they have a natural talent for something? singing 

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? god no 

What is their socioeconomic status? lower lower lower class 

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? cats 

What place would they most like to visit? england 

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? the beach at night 

What is their favourite song? halloween - hunny 

Music, art, reading preferred? music: indie. Art: abstract. Reading: character studies 

What is their favourite color? green

Favourite food: chicken tenders and fries

What is their favourite day of the week? friday night

Possessions

What is in their fridge: ketchup, sauces, lemons

What is on their bedside table? books, a glass of water 

What is in their car? absolutely nothing

What is in their purse or wallet? his id, and his library card

What is in their pockets? a packet of gum, his phone, his empty wallet, his keys, two rings that he takes on and off 

What is their most treasured possession? his book collection

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? doesnt have one

Do they believe in the afterlife? no

What are their religious views? none

What do they think heaven is? a full fridge and your best friends 

What do they think hell is? other people

Are they superstitious? no 

What would they like to be reincarnated as? a house cat

How would they like to die? car accident or sleep 

What is your character’s spirit animal? field mouse

What is their zodiac sign? virgo

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? abandonment 

When did they last lie? he doesnt really lie, he mainly omits truths

what is their view of lying? he hates it, thinks its despicable 

When did they last make a promise? last week 

Did they keep or break their last promise? he broke it

Daily life

What are their eating habits? whenever he can, he will eat whatever is in front of him. 

Do they have any allergies? pollen 

Describe their home. small, dingey, covered in books, a bed on the floor, empty fridge 

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? clutter hoarder 

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? sleep, he just finished the night shift

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? go for a walk and take a picnic

What do they do on a Friday night? stay in and read

What is the soft drink of choice? sprite

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? whiskey neat

Miscellaneous

Who is their hero? he doesnt have any

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? dracula

If they could save one person, who would it be?

If they could call one person for help, who would it be?

What is their greatest extravagance? he owns an iphone 5 

What is their greatest regret? hurting angel @angclhqs​

What would they do if they won the lottery? buy a house, donate the rest

Do they believe in happy endings? no 

What is their idea of perfect happiness? a good book, electricity on, and a cup of tea 

What would they ask a fortune teller? how long until I am content

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? 2200 

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? invisibility 

[islamicrays]

Don't over-compensate with your kids. If you feel guilty over a deficit in one department of their life, don't go overboard to make up for it in another. You'll try to correct one initial problem, only to create ten extra problems on top of it.

I'll share with you two stories to show you what I mean.

A few days ago, I took my kids to the pediatrician for a routine checkup. We go to the pediatrician's office quite often, because between regular checkups, sick visits, and scheduled vaccines, for four different kids--we are there pretty much all the time! I bring all four kids with me whenever we go, and so the all-female staff and nurses and doctor have gotten to know us pretty well and know that we're a homeschooling family. They all love us there. :)

As we were getting my 4-year-old weighed and measured, the nurse and I had a serious conversation. She is a young Arab woman, only a few years older than me, with one 11-year-old son. We speak to her in Arabic whenever she's working at the office when we're there, and my kids delight in hearing her Syrian accent (in contrast with our Egyptian dialect).

She asked me, "I know you are homeschooling your kids...but why?"

I gave her a brief outline of my reasons for the decision to homeschool, citing the academic, religious, and social aspects.

She sighed. "Yes, I think I'm beginning to understand. This is a great idea. I wish I didn't have to send my son to public school, but that's where he is. He's 11, and he is getting more and more difficult by the day. I think he gets more unmanageable with every year that he's in American schools. Like you said, the social environment in schools is terrible! He learns from his classmates, so he's already cursing and saying the F-word, having conversations about girls and dating. Last year, this one girl had a crush on him and because he didn't like her back, she started calling him gay. He's also watching horrible shows on TV, and playing the worst games on his ipad and phone. I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I'm losing control of my son," she admitted sadly.

My heart went out to her. I nodded sympathetically, acknowledging the problem with her. "Do you think it's possible for you to cut back or even eliminate his access to all the gadgets? He's only 11 after all, and you are his mom. I know it's hard, but it might be the best thing to do for you to put your foot down and take away the smartphone and ipad. It might help mitigate his behavior."

She looked away. "I wish I could. It's kind of complicated. You see, I'm a single mom, because my husband is مفقود (lost). We came here from Syria when all the violence happened...without my husband. We don't know where he is now; we haven't heard from him since. My parents and siblings are here too, alhamdulellah, so they help me raise my son."

My eyes, at this point, were stinging with unshed tears. My heart was aching for her. I gave her a hug.

I said, "I am so sorry. الله يقرب البعيد (May Allah bring close the distant ones.) But alhamdulellah that you've got your family here to help."

"But they don't really help, not like you think. They are actually the ones who have given my son all the technology. They all feel bad for my son that his dad is gone, so they just give him a lot of stuff. When he's upset, they cheer him up by buying him a toy or a game or a gadget. When he gets good grades in school, they reward him with more stuff. My parents promised him that if he does well on his next test, they'll buy him the newest iphone. I keep trying to tell them that all these things are only making the problem worse, but they don't get it. My dad always says, "This poor boy is growing up without a father, and I don't want him to feel محروم, deprived. So we have to make it up to him." They make it up to him by giving him a lot of things."

I nodded, seeing her plight. "Well, their feelings are definitely understandable. But maybe instead of material things, can they just give your son time? Quality time together, having conversations, going places together, reading?"

She said, "No, they have everything but time. They own a limousine company, so they're always busy, always working. They are rarely around for that long. They have the business to run. I think that might be another thing they feel guilty about."

"Which helps explain further all the gifts," I said. "You know, this is a problem but insha'Allah it's fixable. It will require effort and determination, but you can do it insha'Allah. It's clear that deep feelings of guilt and grief are causing some serious overcompensating, which is only exacerbating the issue. You may need to have a serious discussion with your parents about how your son is doing, and the best way to come together as a family to meet his needs and to raise him in the healthiest way inshaAllah."

Unfortunately, this is not the only story I've encountered of a parent overcompensating when it comes to their child.

A few years ago, I met a mom of two young kids whose husband traveled a lot for his job. His trips (both in America and internationally) took him away from the family for long periods at a time. Just like the nurse at my doctor's office, this mother also had her relatives living near her, but they gave the kids free reign and tried never to deny them any requests, specifically because they felt bad that the kids were largely growing up without their dad present in their day-to-day life. So these kids ran rampant, acting entitled, demanding, and ungrateful.

The mother was complaining to me that she ends up bearing the brunt of the kids' behavioral problems, because she is the only one who attempts to say "No" to them. But the kids, beings kids, don't like to be said "No" to, and they often ignore her orders or whine or threaten to "tell Baba on her once he gets back!"

These kids actually threaten their mother with tattling on her to their father! This is straight manipulation.

The mother is now the bad guy. The absent father is the good guy, an image of him that's reinforced in his kids' minds every time he returns home with lavish presents and overblown gifts.

"My husband himself feels guilty about how often he's away," the mother told me. "So he overdoes it with the gifts for the kids when he comes back. He also lets them get away with murder, since he's not usually home to see them for long stretches at a time. So next to him, to the kids I look terrible! I don't shower them with gifts and I don't always say yes to their demands. So he's become this hero to them, and I've become a monster."

SubhanaAllah.

These two completely separate stories about two different Muslim families have one underlying factor in common: parental guilt, if unchecked, leads to overcompensating and major behavioral problems for children. There are so many cases like this.

You might think that you're helping the situation by giving the kids material gifts in lieu of the time or physical presence that you cannot give them--but in reality, this only makes the situation much, much worse. You are only alleviating your own guilt by showering the kids with more stuff than is good for them, while harming the kids even further by enabling their bad manners and steeping them in materialism.

Kids need more time than money from the adults in their life. When there is a problem, throwing money at it usually only makes it worse.

More than anything else, kids need our time and attention. They don't need as many gifts, or as many devices or gadgets or screens. They just need you, fully focused on them and present with them.

The solution to following unchecked emotion and over-compensating is to use reason and try to find balance. In the Quran, Allah the Exalted commands us often toward al-qist, القسط. For example, in the beginning of surat Ar-Rahman, Allah draws our attention to the perfection of the balance which He has sent down, by linking the notion of balance with the sky:

وَالسَّمَاءَ رَفَعَهَا وَوَضَعَ الْمِيزَانَ (7) أَلَّا تَطْغَوْا فِي الْمِيزَانِ (8) وَأَقِيمُوا الْوَزْنَ بِالْقِسْطِ وَلَا تُخْسِرُوا الْمِيزَانَ

"And the sky--He has raised it, and imposed the balance.

So that you don't transgress the balance.

So establish the balance with equity and don't make deficient the balance."

The sky and everything in it, everything about it, is precisely placed in a perfect balance. If the sun were just a tiny bit closer to the earth, we'd all be burned to a crisp. If the sun were just a tiny bit farther away from the earth, we'd all freeze. The sun, moon, stars, planets are aligned in a precise calculation, without shortages or imbalances. Everything within the skies is perfectly proportioned, and precisely measured. No transgressions, no excesses, no extremes.

No imbalance.

May Allah grant us the wisdom to ponder His ayaat and live them in our own lives, ameen.

Via Umm Khalid

[oliversmartphonenerd-blog]

The eternal iOS vs Android debate

So, hello everyone. Since this is my first entry as a tumblr user, maybe not too many people will read this but that won’t keep me to tell you a little story of my personal experience with smartphones and what I think is the better platform of the two mentioned in the title. My very first smartphone (let’s only start counting from the time when smartphones actually WERE smart, with easily downloadable apps and whatnot) was an iPhone 4. Got it off contract and a plan separately to keep monthly rates as low as possible. I stayed with Apple for several years, even built the entire infrastructure around my iPhone with a Mac, an iPad, an Apple TV and even an AirPort Extreme. Then came the time when I got bored with my phone and mostly its tiny screen. Actually I just got the iPhone 5S right after release and I loved Touch ID, the color (got the golden version) etc. But many friends of mine had Android phones that were oftentimes significantly larger. So in order to get a much larger phone I switched to Android and stayed there. From Kitkat all the way to Android Pie, from Samsung over Motorola to Huawei, I got quite a few models and I was very happy with most (except for the Moto X Style which has a different name in the US, that was a piece of junk!). My last Android phone which I’ve only had for about four months now was the Huawei P30 Pro. Amazingly versatile camera, brilliant low light performance, beautiful colors (on the back of the device I mean), humongous battery life and all, I love it. But I decided to switch back to Apple now. I picked the often criticized iPhone Xr for numerous reasons: It’s cheaper than the regular model, it got a better battery life and it comes in cool colors. Of course, coming from a phone of almost 6.5″, 8 GB of RAM, a quadruple camera and a battery of over 4000 milliamps I thought I might regret the potential downgrade. You know what? So far I can’t say that I do. The yellow (in which I got the iPhone) is beautiful, the screen is nowhere near as bad as people say (even though understandably it could still have a higher resolution at this price point). In fact it’s even quite good. The camera isn’t good for zoom like the 5x optical of the P30 Pro, also not very good for macro or night shots. But the HDR is way nicer and portrait works almost as good. Something else I’ve always loved about Apple was the attention to detail. The effects implemented in iMessage, Animoji with the cool MeMoji that you can make of yourself, all that is so very well done. Especially the face tracking of the latter works so well it puts everything else (sorry Samsung with your creepy avatars) in the shadow.

Now, since this is supposed to be a differenciated evaluation rather than an iPhone Xr review I’d like to get back to the differences. See, both Android and iOS come with their very own qualities and faults. What’s better for you simply depends on what you need and what you want. You want great ways to personalize your phone in both the way it works and looks? Android is for you. You want as much variety as possible when you want to get a new phone? Android has tons of phones it’s running on, from cheap to very pricey.  Since there are so many different companies, they all try to make their flagships unique. So you can expect all of them to have specifications that you won’t find in most other handsets. Of course with iOS, you’re stuck with Apple’s iPhones. Do you appreciate consistency throughout the entire UI and across all apps? Sounds like you might appreciate iOS (believe me, when every other app seems to have their own set of emoji, it looks very much like patchwork on Android). Both software and hardware are made from the same company so it’s exceptionally well balanced. For a phone that doesn’t have anywhere near as much RAM as some flagship android devices, it’s still pretty damn fast. Even the Xr is quite snappy. The UI is not very flexible but that might also help making it very simple and easy to understand. The flat design is very well executed, especially with the silky glass effects in different menus etc. But I also love Google’s material design to death. It’s really hard to say if I have a clear favorite here.

When it comes to the gimmicks and playful features or animations, as I’ve mentiones that hardly compares to anything else on the market. 

One thing one has to keep in mind as well is the support of third party developers. Of course it’s self-explanatory that if you develop a mobile game, you’re more prone to start with iOS as your platform. You don’t have to pay attention to too many different configurations of chipsets and other hardware such as different screen resolutions and aspect ratios. So it’s less work for you to focus on iOS with just the iPhone and maybe the iPad. That was also one of the reasons I wanted to switch back to iOS. I’m highly anticipating the game Oceanhorn 2, which will come out as an iOS exclusive in the beginning. You will notice that with several apps.

Yet another reason was that I’m planning to get an Apple Watch. In comparison, I can’t say I dislike Android Wear but you can tell it’s struggling. Google seems to be not too interested in it. The watch I had kept disconnecting which was a big pain in the butt. It was oftentimes just annoying that I had to get into the Wear App on the phone, restart the watch and reconnect the whole thing. When I tried the Apple Watches of friends of mine, I found the user experience to be of a higher quality.

But lastly, the only real but CLEAR advantage of iOS over Android is the iPad. I mean, even though there might be high quality Android tablets on the market (and still coming up). But they will always have that one particular and crucial flaw: The app support. Apple takes great pride in the quality of their iPad apps on the App Store. They make sure that developers utilize the best APIs for the platform. Android tablet apps are usually inferior as they are only inflated Android phone apps that poorly make use of the screen’s larger real estate. So yeah, my conclusion is that as far as I can tell, wether iOS or Android is better merely depends on your needs and personal taste. With the exception of the iPad which is in my opinion the clear winner over any Android tablet on the market (since even Google refrained from making their own tablets because they realized their position). I’d like to know your point of view on this subject. So feel free to leave comments. Best regards, Oliver

[gihu]

Hello ! I’ve been wanting to start drawing but to really learn. Do you have any tips ? How did you start drawing? I love your art !! 💕

Hello friend!! So sorry for the delay, I’ve been p busy and also was a little shook that anyone would ask ME for art advice??? bc tbh i’m hardly at that level yet LOL but also maybe it’s a good thing you asked me bc BOY have I struggled and BOY am i struggling now!!  putting this under a cut bc i tend to ramble

So one thing I won’t say is “JuST pRActICE” which is what a lot of tumblr artists say and that irks me even though it’s true and valid advice it’s just…not that helpful. At least for me. Another thing I won’t say is “I popped out of the womb with a pencil in hand!!” because I can’t relate. Being from a pretty conservative Asian family/country kinda suppressed what desire to pursue art, even as a hobby, in me as a kid. I started learning how to draw in sophomore year in high school because I got REALLY fucking obsessed with One Piece LMAO. I lived and breathed OP, I was watching dozens of eps a day at one point. That one tumblr post that was like “the best way to get better at drawing is to become obsessed with something and draw it a million times”? Probably the most solid advice I’ve come across. Anyway, that obsession led me to wanting to create fanart for the first time (that was my starting point for wanting to become an artist, which eventually led me into stop motion, thanks One Piece)! I did start attempting to draw the characters right away, but I also started watching a bunch of youtube videos and using figure drawing sites to practice anatomy. I’d recommend starting off with learning anatomy! Learn the proportions of the face and body, it’ll help a TON. but you’ll have to learn how to enjoy the process of studying bc there’s so much studying to be done if you want to learn how to draw. Other tips (that helped me personally): 

-don’t aim to finish a drawing 100%. By that I mean skip rendering the details, it’ll slow down your improvement. try to aim for 60 or 70%. also, some may disagree with me on this but try to avoid using color at all when you’re starting out! you may get overwhelmed and it’s fact that drawing and knowledge of values are far more important. i’ve heard a professor compare color to icing on a cake: it makes the cake pretty but why would that matter at all if the cake base tastes like crap??

- don’t doodle mindlessly. a tip i hear often is to doodle lots and lots but…i don’t think it helped me improve at all. you need reference, something to compare your drawings to so you can throughly analyze how to improve them. nearly every single artist i know, including myself, uses reference for their drawings. it’s ok to doodle to jot down ideas and stuff, just not for learning. 

 - draw from life as much as possible!! it’s more helpful than drawing from photos or art because translating from 3d to 2d really trains your brain by forcing it to analyze more. also, photos tend to be distorted and alter reality. copying/referencing art can be helpful but only if they’re master paintings (sargent, monet, etc.) IMO. please don’t copy from tumblr artists, even for practice LOL. try to avoid their tutorials as well if you’re a beginner you probably won’t be aware of the mistakes they make, and unwittingly incorporate them into your drawing habits. there’s tons of art book PDFs out there, they’re your best bet! 

- carry a sketchbook around and just draw as much as possible. use your free time to draw from life. make it a habit. the more you draw the more you’ll add to your muscle memory and visual dictionary

- find out what interests you about the world, and incorporate those interests into your art! is it the way clothing falls across the body or the way light casts shadows? do you have a particular interest for teeth or hands?? i think hands are quite amazing 

- idk if i’ll be able to explain this clearly but whether you’re drawing comics or making “aesthetic” work, CONCEPT will always be more important than how your art looks! by concept i mean idea, message, etc. The clarity of your message is also important! it needs to be readable

- don’t blame your tools for your lack of skill. when i was starting out i wasted so much time researching and accumulating a bunch of art supplies that i didn’t even use, thinking that better tools would increase the quality of my art. the only tools i needed turned out to be pencils, pens, some watercolors and later, a basic tablet. award-winning films have been made with iPhones alone.

- lastly…JUST DO IT. technical skills are important but what’s even more important is your passion and desire to create. what’s holding you back? fear of being judged? that’s dumb! the best art-related quote i’ve heard is by andy warhol:

“Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.”

isn’t that beautiful? this changed my whole outlook on making art! i mean, you won’t ever be able to make art that appeals to everyone but you sure can make art that some people will like! there’s an audience for everything! so don’t be needlessly burdened by what you think others think of your art and make art for you and you only. one thing that i did that i deeply deeply regret is quitting drawing for 2 years up until this past summer, and that’s only because i didn’t think i’d ever be good enough at drawing. so i just gave up. it makes me so sad because even if i drew for just 10min a day i could’ve improved so much in those years! please don’t do what i did

- some helpful websites/youtube channels: schoolism (the best and most affordable online art class i’ve come across, $35 a month but they have legit instructors from disney, pixar etc.) Line-of-action (for figure drawing) croquis cafe (more figure drawing bc you can never do enough) sycra (youtuber who makes tutorials, one of the few that trust completely. i especially like his video on iterative drawing) 

man that was long! but there’s so much to talk about still! btw it’s admirable that you want to learn a new skill! i believe that if you truly want something to be better at something, you will, 100%. if you ever have more questions, feel free to shoot me a message, my inbox/DMs are always open, even if i might take a while to get to it :)

[ladycollegeguide-blog]

Expecting the Unexpected

Change in life is both unpredictable and inevitable. Although we cannot stop change from occurring, we can plan for some unexpected events in college. On this week’s blog, we’ll be discussing some closing tips while you prep for your new and refreshing university move. We’ll be touching base on homesickness, dorm room preparation, roommate cohabitation, packing and gearing up for your shot at a new and improved life! There is a lot to touch base on, so let’s dive in gals.

Firstly, let’s discuss homesickness. This too, is inevitable. You’ll miss the relationships you’ve worked so hard to grow and cherish. From that, I strongly advise you hold onto these relationships. College is a phenomenal time to expand your horizons, to meet new people and to build more relationships. This should not discredit the relationships you have built in the past. It just allows you more room to grow with other like-minded individuals. As we’re in the midst of June, you should plan to spend a significant amount of time with those in your hometown. Your parents that are overbearing and pesty- you’ll miss them after week one in the dorms. Your siblings that you fight with so very much, you’ll grow to miss their bothersome characteristics. Therefore, take the time to cherish the rest of this summer with those family members and friends. Before you know it, you’re on limited time and you’ll never get those missed opportunities back.

To help minimize missing these people so deeply, I recommend making tons of plans. Invite your family members to come visit and allow time for other visitors as well. Make sure to schedule time home for the holidays! If you’ve gotten tired of family craziness during the holidays, you’ll learn to love these holidays even more once you start college. The holidays allow you to spend time with everyone you’ve missed dearly and that is convenience at its finest! Also, if you can preplan and start your holiday breaks a few days early- do it. Work with your professors and push yourself to work harder in school. Everyone enjoys a little extra vacation time, so work hard to fit in extended time back home! Don’t be upset if you have a tough semester and you just can’t swing an extended stay. Your family will understand that you’re doing your best with what you have going on.

Additionally, I’m sure you’ve got some pictures printed off to decorate your room with. Start hanging these sooner than later! The quicker you can hang those good memories up around your room, the more comfortable you’ll be during your moving transition. This is going to be a huge and drastic change in your life, so make it as comfortable and positive as possible as quickly as you can. This will definitely help you adapt to a new setting as well, because establishing a secure home-base provides you with a comfort blanket to fall back on during the tough times you may endure away from everyone.

Now, I want to reassure you on this move. You may be starting over in a new city with new people, but this is going to be such a phenomenal experience for you!! That sounds cliché, but by the time year two of college hits, you’ll understand just how much the world is at your fingertips. The new people you will meet will help you develop into an extraordinarily powerful and able person. Do not fear this change with new people, rather embrace it and cherish the knowledge offered to you. This applies to you on both an educational level and a networking/relationship building level. You have a remarkable journey in front of you! Aim high and conquer all because you CAN!

Secondly, I realize it is only June. But also, holy cow, it’s already June. You’ll be moving in the blink of an eye, so the preparation and organization should start pretty quick here. I would strongly advise you begin researching dorm-room ideas on Pinterest, like yesterday. It’ll give you a strong push to get the ball rolling on how you want to make your room as homey as possible. When I started planning my move I couldn’t get out of magazines. Of course, that feels a little old school now, but hey, to each their own. Adding Christmas lights is a perfect way to perfect your dorm room vibe. The lights are calming and less obnoxious that the dorm lighting. They also set the mood for reading, wine nights, or Netflix binging with the girls. Perfect for any setting, Christmas lights 24/7 are ALWAYS the way to go! You simply just can’t go wrong here.

It also doesn’t hurt to stock up on a couple boxes of these lights because unfortunately these suckers have a tendency to burn out easily. Quick side note related to other things “burning”, POPCORN. Popcorn is the most cherished prize during your college years. It’s the perfect snack, meal, and wine companion known to man. You can never have enough popcorn, so, make sure to always stock up. Oh, and keep an eye on the bag when you’re microwaving it. When someone burns a bag of popcorn, the whole dorm floor suffers from the stench. Don’t be “that guy.” Sorry ladies, don’t be “that girl.”

 Alright. After that quick tip, we’ll head back onto more relevant and general topics. LISTS. Lists are the best tool for success when packing up for your move. You need to jot down all personal care items, the variety of clothing items you’ll need and so much more. Here’s a quick list of items you may have not thought of, but will certainly come in handy once you transition into dorm room living. 

·         First aid kit

·         Bottle opener

·         Screwdriver

·         Duct tape

·         Power strip

·         Microwave

·         Slippers and sandals (especially shower shoes)

·         Eating utensils

·         Shower Caddy

·         Music speaker

·         Headphones

·         Additional shelving

·         Swimsuits

·         A nice, presentable suit for Business Professional events

This list is not exhaustible, merely included to generate ideas of your own personal necessities that you may have not thought of previously. I’ll admit it, a few of these items are things I forgot and desperately needed but hadn’t thought of them prior to my crossing of state borders. A little bit of brainstorming never hurts when it comes to these things! When more random necessities pop into your mind, ensure that you jot them down immediately. This will help you prepare better for your move and keep you under a well-organized blanket during your transition! I love making notes on my iPhone, but if you appreciate the paper/pen aspect of lists, utilize that as well. The important part in all of this is to begin preparing you for how much you’ll need to take with you when you go. You’ll want to get most of these things in order before you take off, because obtaining random items in a different region can be quite stressful. Especially when a majority of campuses do not allow freshman to have a vehicle during their first year. Yes, many campuses offer bussing options, and you may be able to make friends with cars, but set yourself up for success ladies.

 Another quick tip when packing your life up: invest in some sturdy travel bags if you do not already have some. These come in handy for the following reasons: 

1.      They can carry a lot of beer at one time

2.      Several bottles of wine at one time will fit in there

3.      They can hold a lot of clothes when you’re packing for holidays

4.      They travel well when you need to get gussied-up or stay at another friend’s place

5.      You have quality bags for your Aldi grocery store runs!

Quality, sturdy traveling gear is quite useful, believe me! Also, they’re so versatile for all of your needs, so investing is a must!

 On another note, make sure you’re keeping in touch with your soon-to-be roommate(s). If you could coordinate a theme or color scheme for your room, you should absolutely try to. If you sense a slight disconnect here, that’s fine! You’ll each have your own space to decorate as you please. However, staying in touch can get you connected with these people sooner than later. The better you can get along with your roommates, the easier your life will be. Conflict is bound to happen once or twice when you start living with another person, but if you can get more information on your roommates earlier, you can hopefully start building a bond earlier. Us ladies tend to get a little snippy at times, so be understanding when your roommates get a little snippy too. Do not take things personal when a bad day comes around and the people within your room aren’t the most pleasant. As much as you should always expect respect from others when you’re respectful, it is important to understand that other people are doing their best during these times as well and nobody is perfect. Understanding this and getting in touch with your roommate combined will make your move so much easier. My first roommate my freshman year was the complete opposite of me in several ways, and yet we still chat frequently. We came from completely different backgrounds, had differing habits, morals, hobbies, etc. and we still found several ways to love living together. You don’t have to be the same person, per say, you just have to coexist at minimum. Establishing a relationship like this is so important because we all need a support system and you never want to live in an uncomfortable environment. Make sure you’re doing your best to build healthy, friendly relationships with those you live with because it will make your year so much easier if you do.

There was a lot of content in this week’s blog, but I hope everyone who chimed in was able to take something valuable from our time together. Do your best to always stay positive, caring, compassionate and hardworking and good things are bound to happen. This is the time for you to aim to be the best version of yourself possible, so do not take this time for granted. With all of the hard work you are sure to put into these college years, always remember how to have fun in your own way. Stay focused, and stay loving. Positivity goes a long way in life, so always try to add that same great energy onto other. Peace and love ladies, see you next time!

[flowing-paint]

Painting on a budget

So you decided to get into the wargaming hobby? Good! Let me welcome to what many people seem to perceive like one of the most expensive hobbies around. But is it really true? Is there any way you can cut the expenses? As a matter of fact, there are many ways you can reduce your costs so I will try to show them to you. Less money for the tools means more models and more games to pump up your fun!

I had this idea after discussing with my friend that is trying to jump into tabletop wargaming. We were discussing how, with board games, you go to the shop (or internet) and buy your big box where you have all you need to play the game. If you are new to tabletop wargaming you already probably know that, whatever the game you chose to start, the models need assembly at the very least and in most cases, you need to remove them from sprues. Then you have mold lines, flashing, warping… you need a lot of tools. While all modeling related tools can be easily substituted with stuff from the hardware store for half the price, this is always not the case for paints, brushes and the likes. With this post, I want to help newcomers to try and get into the hobby with the smallest possible investment.

First of all, let’s make a list of stuff you need to buy to paint and then let’s see what we can do to reduce the cost.

Paints

Primers

Texturing materials

Paintbrushes

Palette

Miniature holder

As you can see you need a lot of stuff and we know that when it comes to “hobby” use, the prices increase easily. Let’s tackle each item one-by-one and see if we can come out with some good alternative.

Paints

They are the core of the painting phase: you cannot paint without paints, right? But, have you tried to go on eBay, Amazon or even in a Games Workshop store to look for some paints? They are extremely expensive, probably due to the amount of research needed to get them to best suit miniature painting but also because of the hobby effect. The de facto standard in miniature painting are Citadel paints (the most widespread) and yield really good results: but take a look at their price on the official website. It is a huge set but it’s roughly one-month salary worth of paints. I don’t know you but for me, that’s a big no-no. Even small sets cost around 400$ so that’s not feasible for those who want to paint on a budget. Let’s see how we can reduce the costs:

try different paint manufacturers

I mostly use Vallejo paints (as you can guess from my tutorial posts) they come in 17 ml dropper bottles for 2.7 USD while Citadel paints come in 12 ml pots for 4.8 USD. That means Vallejo paints are more than 2 times cheaper than GW paints. The same is true for Reaper Master Series paints that come in dropper bottles similar to Vallejo and only cost 4.5 USD.

*: all prices in this post are based on a conversion from JPY.

try fine arts paints

This is the cheapest option: go to your local art store and look for acrylic paints. Take a sampler for each manufacturer and throw them on some test miniatures (don’t forget to prime them). You will probably realize that you need to thin them quite a bit but if you are lucky you can find paints with fairly small pigments that will give you good results. I oftentimes use the acrylic paints from Amsterdam Acrylic standard series: they have super-fine pigments and some gorgeous colors you can check out here.

They are perfect for miniature painting and the 20 ml tubes are a nice bargain for 2 USD! They may last you forever. You can have a taste of how they look like by taking a look at my “Leoric of the book”. The orange and the light blue come from these paints. Not bad!

Primers

Primers are really important (check out this post) and you need at least two in different colors if you plan to leverage underpainting. You can buy more colors but that costs you more money, of course. A medium bottle of brush-on primer from Vallejo costs 6.5 USD and even if it goes a long way, buying five of them is a lot of money. If you want to get the highest bang for your bucks you must try to prime with Gesso for an ultra-thin matte finish. This is also sold in art stores and a big 50 ml pot was 4.8 USD. And if that sounds too expensive, you can also try to prime with liquid acrylic “gouache” which gives you the same result but with roughly half the price! I have a 30 ml bottle of Turner gouache that cost me just 1 USD! For these prices, the results you get are really super-cool.

Texturing materials

This is one of those never-ending fields: just have a look in one of those railroad model shops and you will understand what I’m talking about. You have thousands of different stones/sands/grasses/etc. that give a realistic representation of the environment. But if you just base some miniatures for gaming purposes what you really need are just three ingredients you can get for free:

baking soda: used with CA glue gives the illusion of sand on the base

kitty litter: gives some more variegated texture, from dust-like to small rocks.

some dirt: go and get this on the side of the road where the rain washes out some random grit and dust. You can use it as is or put it on top of the CA glue/baking soda achieving the same result as the kitty litter.

There you have them: three texturing materials that cost you nothing.

Another texture that is commonly looked after is “water”. you can get some amazingly good water bases just by using PVA glue slightly pigmented with a brush tip of green or brown wash. Nobody will ever know you did not use one of those super-expensive resins! Check it out! (sorry for the crappy iPhone pictures).

Paintbrushes

Many painters can confirm you that, together with paints, these are the most important tools. It almost goes without saying that a good brush helps you a lot. What is not always completely understood by the beginners is that a good brush helps but you do not need to go super-fancy. For example, the golden standard of brushes for miniature painting is the Winsor & Newton Series 7 with Kolinsky bristles. The uniform consensus is that these paintbrushes are the best because of their bristle size vs. tip size. I could not agree more. But I don’t have one them and I am not planning on buy one anytime soon. Why? Cause I can have similar results with 1/10th of the price with my Holbein Series N (no. 0) paintbrush. You can see the whole series here (Japanese only). The bristles of this paintbrush are made of Itachi which is the Japanese for weasel. This means that this paintbrush has almost the same properties of the Kolinsky sable but for 2.5 bucks. No surprise it’s a Japanese market only product…. for this price I could almost start thinking to export them via eBay. Of course the tip is not super sharp like the WN7 but still, 1/10 of the cost so, I’m fine with that. If I want a Kolinsky brush I usually use one of my Bunseido “woody” that cost around 8/10 bucks each and give awesome results. 

Yet, with the full set of brushes in the above picture, it is still cheaper than a single WN7. What’s the lesson here? Go to your art supplies store and try all the brushes… even the cheap ones. You may find some amazing quality for bargain prices and don’t feel any pressure if you’re not using the same stuff the pro painter use: they are so freaking good they could easily make a masterpiece painting with toothpicks.

Palette

If you use to watch Warhammer TV, good! Those painting tutorials are great for beginners! There is just one thing that I do not understand: why don’t they use a wet palette? What’s a wet palette you ask? Is the way to save tons of paint and to have your color mixes going on and on for days without drying. They sell fancy wet palettes in art stores but they are expensive… so why don’t you make your own? It’s super easy if you have the following:

parchment paper

a Tupperware

some heavy duty kitchen paper

Fold the paper to make it fit in the Tupperware and moisten it abundantly. Do not let the water flood the whole thing. Place a piece of parchment paper on top of the moist paper and voila: you have your wet palette. You can leave colors on top of it for days and forget about them. I will do a detailed tutorial on how to build and use the wet palette. Someday….

Miniature holder

Holding your miniatures from the base is terrible: you can drop them, move them while you paint some detail, etc. It’s a really bad habit. For this reason, on the internet, you can find a whole bunch of fancy handles called miniature holders that supposedly help with the above problems. They come at a cost of course, which is usually not so small (you can use them forever). GW, for example, opened pre-sales of its own miniature grip. Getting a miniature holder in your hobby box is important but 16 bucks is really a lot for a piece of plastic. What to do then? All you need is some poster putty (also known as bluetack) and a comfortable handle of your choice. You can use old pill bottles, photo-film holders, everything that you can hold firmly on and just stick your miniature on top of it with you poster putty. It’s so very easy and so cheap that is probably the most important thing to do when you start to paint. This is so straightforward that I will skip the picture.

This concludes today’s post. I hope you found some interesting idea if you are planning on painting on a budget or if you just don’t have the money. You may also be one of those people that prefer to invest money in models or games instead of the tools. whatever your background is, if you put into practice all these tricks, you can lower your painting expenses up to 50/60%.

Game on!

[suraj-singh1]

Best Tips to Organize Your Tasks

Best Tips to Organize Your Tasks:

Capturing is half the battle. The rest of the fight takes place in the way you organize your tasks. Writing down the things that you need to remember on index cards will only get you so far, I’m sorry to say. If we all stopped there, we would simply have piles of index cards all over our desks and kitchen counters. If the goal of capturing things is to act on them so that we can make our clients happy and grow our freelance business, then we need to do something with all of them.

I have an antique in my office. I have a feeling many of you do as well. It’s called an inbox. Not the one inside my computer’s email application; this is the granddaddy of inboxes, the source of the metaphor and namesake to what we all use today. Mine is a plastic tray with three high walls, and its purpose would be familiar to all of you.

Long ago, in a decade far, far away, there were no computers in offices. When business owners received an invoice in the mail (the kind with envelopes and stamps), they would open the invoice, read it, and then set it in their inbox. And that little box became the collection point for all of the items that needed to be done. When they were completed, the person would file them away (again, literally, in physical folders) for long- term storage.

It’s crazy, I know. This is how things were done years ago. While the tools might have changed over the past two decades, the underlying concepts have not. Stop focusing your attention on tools and gimmicks, and master the basic organizational principles instead. Tools will change over time. They always do. Fundamentals are ageless.

So, you’re capturing everything. Awesome. Once you’ve gathered a bunch of tasks, you need to put them somewhere. That’s where your “master collection” comes into play.

It’s an inbox, metaphorically speaking, and it has a few characteristics that you must buy into or else you risk squandering the time and effort you poured into collecting everything. Let’s break these qualities down and explain them one by one.

There Can Be Only One I know freelancers who have multiple collections of to-do items. Some of these people draw a line between personal and professional tasks, and so each category has its own master collection. It is common for people to even use a completely different application for each collection of tasks in order to make the division as clear as possible. I have problems with this kind of tactic. I’d much rather keep everything in one collection.

When we create division, we increase the need for constant management. We add steps and complexity. Complex systems break down easier than simple systems, and the last thing we need in our productivity system is the opportunity to fail. The better choice and the choice with the least amount of friction is to keep everything in one big list.

I get it. In many ways, it seems more logical to chunk things up and sort them. However, I think of everything in terms of the number of steps it takes to complete. When we split our productivity systems into multiple compartments, each moment of capture needs to begin with deciding which master list the task should be filed in. Even if we only have two categories, like my friends who separate work and personal items, that will still introduce complexity and an extra decision.

Instead, keep everything in one place. This way, all you need to concern yourself with is the text of the task and the date it needs to be done. If organizing your tasks by project or area of life is that important to you, use my trick of beginning the text of each task with a reference term that reflects where it belongs (that was the “SMITH” part in my example in the previous chapter). We’ll discuss that more in a bit.

One line of text, containing everything I need, helps me make sense of each item in one massive list of tasks. Don’t break your to-do lists into fragments. If you want to keep your system for capturing and organizing each item as frictionless as possible, there can be only one.

A Date to Remember Every task that you capture needs to have a due date. It’s like having a baby: every baby needs a name, and though I actually know a couple who didn’t decide on a name for their baby before they left the hospital, they did eventually name her. A task without a due date is like a baby without a name.

Some people like to assign due dates in the sense that it’s the date that the task needs to be completed. If you’re doing one small task that is part of a larger client project, though, I recommend you assign a “due date” that is well before the full project’s due date. It’s the date you plan to “do” the task (the “due date”, get it?). Some projects are one-taskers, but others are a series of dozens of things to do. Each task needs a date that you plan to tackle it, in sequence, all leading up to the date that the whole project needs to be completed.

I give my tasks due dates as I add them to my master's collection. As I mentioned before, I use an app called OmniFocus, but you can find your own preferred solution. Some people I know like to toss their tasks into a general pile, and then come back once a week to add due dates and organize them better. I just feel that the best moment for me to assign a due date is at the birth of the task when it’s freshest in my mind, and so I think for a moment and give it a date.

I make this decision by looking ahead in the next few days to see how empty or packed they might be. This is where the time estimate in the task name comes into play for the first time. If tomorrow’s list has six 1- hour tasks on it, it’s full and I would be dumb to add more to it. So I would then check the next day. And the next. I keep looking forward until I find a day that has room for a 1-hour task. Unless the actual “due date” (when the client is expecting the deliverables from me) is later than that date, I’m in the clear. Set it and forget it until that day.

These dates can change, though. If I sit down at night to draw up my schedule for the next day (something we will talk about in more detail later in this chapter), I recalculate the math and assess whether everything on the list can actually fit into that day. If items need to be cut, I take the lowest priority items and move them farther out. Be strict about assigning dates (the act), but not strict with when that date actually is (the specifics).

Ever-present If at all possible, use a method of collecting your tasks that can be accessed from many places. You might need to access your master list while you’re on the road or in a meeting with a client. Having access to your master list at any moment from any location is a huge boon to freelancers, though it’s a quality that few realize they need to pursue.

Besides the many features that make it a great stand-alone tool, I prefer OmniFocus because it has counterparts available for the iPhone and iPad, and a wonderful syncing system that keeps the database updated across all my devices. Add to this the fact that all three versions of the app make it incredibly easy to capture tasks and process your list and OmniFocusbecomes a textbook example of what every freelancer should look for in a collection system.

Evernote could work the same way for you, with the added benefit of a web version you could even access from a public computer. And Evernote is great for capturing notes (duh) in client meetings and while on the phone, so all your project notes would be in the same system as your tasks.

You can even keep your master list in a notebook, as long as you swear an oath that it will go everywhere with you. And try not to leave the notebook in your jeans when you do the laundry. That would be very, very bad for your business (and your jeans).

In the end, the most important thing to remember is that your collection of captured tasks is the lifeblood of your freelance business. If you fail to make them easy to find, simple to organize and instantly accessible, then you’re tying a lead weight to your ankle. To succeed, you need to run swift and free.

Organizing your to-do list is the key to allowing you to do that.

[thenicedolphin]

Oscars Analysis With Biting Commentary: 2019 Edition!

We are BACK, with the 7th annual Oscars post from The Nice Dolphin (see links here for 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013), where Matt provides insightful, quality analysis while Alex texts some thoughts from his iPhone about how Lego Movie 2 was robbed of a nomination even though it’s not even eligible this year. As always, Matt is in regular font, and Alex comes in with the BOLD.

 You know what? Lego Movie 2 WAS robbed this year! Just like how Lego Movie should’ve been nominated for Best Picture in 2015 and didn’t even get nominated to be in the ghetto of Best Animated Feature. Horseshit. We haven’t even gotten to the first category and I’m already PISSED.

 Best Picture: “Black Panther” “BlacKkKlansman” “Bohemian Rhapsody” “The Favourite” “Green Book” “Roma” “A Star Is Born” “Vice”

 I’ll start by noting this wasn’t my favorite years for Oscar nominees. The top picks aren’t as good as Get Out or Lady Bird (or Phantom Thread) from last year. Or Moonlight and La La Land the year before. But there are a few great films in here, along with some mediocre picks.

 Nice try sneaking La La Land in there -- should’ve at least gone with Argo. I do agree that it’s a weak year. Lady Bird would’ve jobbed out almost all the other movies this year, and it was like the third best movie from last year (behind Get Out and Phantom Thread). Honestly, just go back and read last year’s post.

I’d go to bat for Roma for sure. It’s a great film. It certainly is a masterpiece of visuals and a writer/director getting to tell his personal story. It certainly felt like a movie event to watch it in theaters.

 Certainly.

 The sound was really creative (surround sound to make the neighborhood and events feel alive). The visuals were beautiful and poignant, as one would expect with Cuaron. He really put all his effort in telling this story, paying homage to his childhood and to the live-in maid who so strongly influenced his upbringing.

 Roma starts slow, but it builds, and I became enraptured with it during the second half. Some of the sequences are intense and well worth the previous groundwork. There’s a 10-15 minute sequence (just an estimate) that left me shook and in awe at the filmmaking (the scene starting at the furniture store). Another scene gave such emotional catharsis and helped close the movie really well. Roma also has some fun tangents and moments (I think of everything around New Year’s Eve) that some may find meandering. I dug them.

 While Roma was a technical masterpiece, I’m still not sold on it as a story. Literally nothing happens for the first 100 minutes then we get some things that are completely unnerving, including one image that does not feel entirely earned, to put it mildly.

 TASTELESS SPOILER ALERT

 Cuaron is like “yeah, let’s focus on some dog shit for two hours. Enjoying that? Well, here look at this dead baby for like 15 minutes straight.” Dude was on screen for EONS. Thought he was gunning for a best supporting nom.

 SPOILERS OVER

 Roma is definitely a loving portrait of Cleo, a personal ode to the women who raised Cuaron, and an astute look into the intersection of economic class and gender in 1970s Mexico, but I can’t tell if those well-made pieces combine to make a truly great movie.

 Otherwise, I’m not sure how much I’d want to rewatch this film or revisit it in entirety, but I really admired it and thought it was great. It is the frontrunner, and it would deserve Best Picture.

 I’m a little worried that because of its Netflix standing and that weirdness. For example, AMC and Regal didn’t include Roma in their best picture marathons/showcases because it didn’t meet the distribution requirement for those theaters. Does that affect voters too? It seemed to with a few previous prestige Netflix films, but things do seem different now. So let’s talk about the next upset contender right now: Green Book.

 Green Book is an interesting movie to me. It’s fairly polarizing because of the way it treats racial issues and the friendship between Viggo Mortensen’s white Italian character (Tony Lip) and Mahershala Ali’s black character (Don Shirley). You may have seen some of the controversies, such as how Shirley’s family wasn’t consulted on the film and disputes some of the representations of Shirley’s relationship with his family (deserving of criticism in my opinion). There has been criticism of director Peter Farrelly’s past on-set antics, or co-writer (son of Tony Lip) Nick Vallelonga’s tweet history (less of an issue to me to criticize the film, but still, not great, Bob).

 First and foremost, FOCK this movie. Tony Lip is racist as hell! Like REALLY racist. You can tell it was written by his son, because the movie treats Tony like he’s the perfect man who was just a touch unexposed to other cultures. He never really learned or grew, especially with the whole “You’re not even black!” rant at the end. He just goes from being super racist to not(?) racist because he’s getting paid to hang out with Dr. Shirley for a few weeks.

 Green Book has two great leading performances and some wonderful friendship moments. It has some funny Italian moments (is this racist?), and it has some great moments of strength by Don Shirley in rougher times racially. But man… I just can’t get over some of the key aspects of the film.

 The film really leans into the dynamic of hey, you’re black, I’m white, we’re different, but hey, we’re not so different! It feels antiquated, and this year, other films handled race relations better while being better stories overall (examples include Sorry to Bother You, Blindspotting, and If Beale Street Could Talk). Green Book’s lack of nuance reminds me of Crash and Driving Miss Daisy. Hell, the movie is called Green Book, and they barely mention it! They should have just called it something else.

 I get that little Nicky V. wanted to make a film about what a big man his daddy was, but it really only should’ve been loosely based on the Lip-Shirley friendship, and it could’ve avoided all the embarrassing fallout about Shirley not actually being estranged from the family/culture.

 The flipside of this is whether or not Green Book is an entertaining, good movie. And in some ways it is. The friendship is fun. The banter is entertaining. I really liked Wesley Morris’ analysis of this on a podcast with Bill Simmons, who discussed how, when you take aside race and the message, the friendship is well-portrayed and some of the editing and scenes work well.

 The first 30 minutes of this movie is some of the worst stuff ever recorded. Not even in terms of movies, but like, anything. It’s just Tony and his family being super racist, him entering into a hot dog eating contest (lmao what) and hacky banter between Tony and Dr. Shirley. Tony having to explain the concept of fried chicken to Dr. Shirley was a low point in a year that featured the existence of 15:17 to Paris. LOOK AT THE BABY CHICKEN LEG SPENCER

 But Green Book is trying to talk about race. It’s what the film emphasizes and it’s what the creators of the film emphasized during their awards run. And if you handle that clumsily, it’s hard for me to separate that from my enjoyment of the film. I don’t need to see more stories about white guys thinking black people are deplorable, and then well, you meet a black guy, and he isn’t so bad! That’s not a great story! Ultimately, Green Book is a solid film with some troublesome messaging that weighs it down. And the film isn’t so amazing story/acting wise to overcome those issues. It’s just kinda… vanilla.

 I’ll speak more on the leads in later sections, but if it wasn’t for Mahershala Ali’s deeply nuanced portrayal of Don Shirley, this movie would be completely irredeemable. Fortunately, he’s actually given a character with some agency, but everything about him is all done in service of the white man’s story about his “growth” as a person, which is really just him learning to be less of an asshole -- not exactly a hero turn!

 Also, how many fucking times did they need to cut back to Tony shrugging in the Orange Bird? Geez, we get it already.

 One more point to rant on: the fact that Tony’s son co-wrote the screenplay, and then Don Shirley’s family came out strongly against some of the story points REALLY rubs me the wrong way. Let’s put it this way: if a friend of mine did a story about his friendship with me, emphasizing inaccurately that I didn’t know how to eat Korean BBQ and had initially thought the idea of it was gross, and that I was estranged from my family but considered him and his family to be my family instead??? Dawg… I would haunt you from my grave for that shit.

 /quietly deletes “The Nice Dolphin” screenplay

 A Star is Born seemed like a heavy contender when it came out. It crushed the box office, critics and audience members seemed to love it, but it seems to have cooled off bigtime v. Roma and Green Book (really??? Green Book???). Well, I loved it, so let me sing its praises.

 A Star is Born was good, but not that good. A hugely entertaining first hour followed by some terribly-paced sequences and a weirdly undefined Jack Maine (I didn’t realize how he spelled his name until that concert poster at the end) combine for an enjoyable, but uneven film.

 Star is Born coulda gone poorly. Cooper trying to direct/sing/play music, Gaga trying to act, original soundtrack, and remaking an old story. Well, it works. The music is on point, the two lead acting performances are strong. There are some magical moments in this film… the scenes where they meet and flirt, where they write music together, when they perform Shallow… it’s so good! The film is good throughout, and the ending packs a wallop. I really like Star is Born, and I hope it can get more love than its likely Best Song win.

 I will admit, I knew the ending before I saw it, so some of the impact was lessened and it also basically ruined that scene with Jack and his counselor. Also it was really late at night and I was pretty cranky, so by the third or fourth scene of her lumbering around the dance studio, I was ready to call it.

 Still, Gaga and Cooper have great chemistry, which made the early scenes pop. However, the movie seemed like it didn’t really know what to make of Jack. Was he truly a troubled poet, or just a raging asshole using his art as an excuse for being an awful person? Was he a big country star selling out amphitheaters or a washed up, piss-soaked loser? What the movie was trying to claim as nuance really just came off as equivocation.

 I am pleasantly surprised that The Favourite got as much Oscar buzz as it did. Alex can elaborate, but Yorgos is definitely a more out there director, and The Favourite seems to work really well as a pivot for him. It’s a little more mainstream, but not completely. It’s not a sell-out. This movie is still probably too weird and rated R for some people.

 As a true Yorgite, I am THRILLED that my man is getting more mainstream love. The Favourite and Black Panther are my two favorite Best Picture nominees this year, despite them basically having no shot at winning.

 Even going a bit “mainstream” here (this is the most natural-sounding dialogue in the Yorgos filmography), Yorgos sacrifices nothing about his unique, vicious style. This movie is as nasty, biting, and hilarious as anything else he’s done, and the entire cast (especially the three leads) delivers.

 I really liked it. The performances were great, the story was really fun (Mean Girls but in a royal setting, or All About Eve, which I haven’t seen), the camerawork was interesting. I like how unconventional it was in some ways, like the ending just sorta sneaking up on me.

 I saw this in a packed theater and I could definitely tell it was a lot of older couples who thought they were in for something along the lines of “The Crown” or “Downton Abbey,” and not heavy lesbian erotica. Also, despite what he says, I don’t consider Matt a true Yorgite, so it’s no surprise he wasn’t ready for that ending. My first thought when them bunnies hit the screen? “Yorgos, you’ve done it again!” A true masterpiece.

 People are worked up about Black Panther getting a nomination, and I’m like… have you seen Bohemian Rhapsody or Vice? And you’re mad about Black Panther?

 People being mad about the Black Panther getting nominated and Green Book getting legit Best Picture love? If only there was some common thread here...

 First, I’ve definitely had friends surprised because for them, Infinity War was better… but I mean, they’re big Marvel fans so IW was a bigger deal to them storywise. Meanwhile, a lot of friends also told me how amazing Black Panther was, how it was their favorite Marvel movie, how it was so much more than a superhero movie, etc. Critics gave it strong reviews deservingly in my opinion, and it crushed the box office because it resonated with a lot of people. Just because it’s not as critically good as Roma and it’s a superhero movie doesn’t mean that it’s only in because it’s about race or that it doesn’t deserve it.

 Black Panther absolutely deserved the nomination. Despite Avengers: Infinity War being a more crucial story to the MCU, Black Panther was a better, more cohesive film. IW was basically one long chase/fight scene, which I loved, but it can’t really stand on its own.

 Black Panther built an entire world, populated it with fascinating characters with complex motivations, and had some badass action scenes all within the span of like two hours.

 Also, come on guys. This is the same show that’s given nominations to… Bohemian Rhapsody. And Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (did anyone actually see that?). The Post, American Sniper, Philomena (does anyone remember that?)... I mean, does a movie only deserve to be nominated because it was about an Oscar-type of topic? I say nominate more of these blockbuster movies (IF they are good). Why did Mission Impossible and Crazy Rich Asians and Game Night not get nominated when Bohemian Rhapsody did? They were better reviewed.

 First of all, I take umbrage to you including American Sniper with that trash. Also, Game Night didn’t get nominated because it wasn’t that good (it’s still better than Green Book and Bohemian Rhapsody, but you get it). Crazy Rich Asians and Mission Impossible were both fantastic. Actually, here is an incomplete list of movies that are better than Bohemian Rhapsody and Green Book that came out this year, but didn’t get much, if any, Oscar love:

Annihilation Bad Times at the El Royale Crazy Rich Asians Deadpool 2 The Equalizer 2 (didn’t actually see this, but it’s got Denzel) First Reformed Halloween Lego Movie (still) Mission Impossible: Fallout A Quiet Place Searching Sorry to Bother You Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse (got some love, deserved more) Widows

 Honestly Teen Titans Go! To The Movies and Venom were better than that trash too.

 Anyway, Black Panther rules. It’s got an awesome cast of characters, it represents culture well, Coogler crushes the direction, the story is fun, and the villain is super compelling. People loved the ending scenes of Black Panther. This movie is worthy. Also shoutout to that last scene between Boseman and Jordan. Seriously, so good. Honestly, Black Panther had at least 4 scenes that were just as dramatic AND better-done than BR.

 That sounds impressive until you realize that BR had zero well-done scenes. Seriously, every time I think about that movie I hate it more. It’s the opposite of Phantom Thread. It’s the Terrestrial Thread.

 Bohemian Rhapsody is probably one of the worst movies to be nominated for Best Picture in recent years. Look, if you like the movie and find it entertaining, that’s totally fine! Just don’t tell me Black Panther didn’t deserve it when it’s better in every technical aspect.

 The editing is bad. The story of the movie is a censored version crafted by the living band members of Queen to paint them in the best light. Freddie Mercury is portrayed like more of an immature punk than he deserves, and the other band members seem like the grown-ups. The dramatic scenes are not very good. It’s just fine. The acting is solid. The movie is fun when the band is playing music or making music. But it really drags at parts. A solid B- crowdpleaser. NOT an Oscar movie.

 The only time this movie is entertaining is when Queen is playing/making music. Just save yourself the trouble and watch some old concert DVD or whatever. Every “based on a true story” movie is going to take some liberties with the facts, but this is the first movie I can recall that makes the true story MORE boring. This is literally the exact same movie as Straight Outta Compton, except that one was better -- and didn’t even get nominated! Straight Outta Compton is the Lego Movie of musical biopics.

 BlacKkKlansman was a powerful movie, though I’ll say it isn’t peak Spike Lee for me. It is really good in moments, and it’s also weaker in stretches. Basically, whenever the main character is infiltrating the KKK or working with his partner, the movie works. The scenes about the civil rights movements are really good, especially a scene where Kwame Ture gives a speech. The movie is slower when it tries to delve into Ron Stallworth’s personal life and romance. The movie is probably 15-20 minutes too long, which would be my main critique. And the ending is a bit polarizing (it worked for me, but I can see the argument against it).

 15-20 minutes too long? Sounds like peak Spike to me. Hey-ooooooooooooo!

 I really dug BlacKkKlansman, but man the capitalization of the title is infuriating. I agree that it’s a bit scattered (and not in a way that actually serves the story), but overall, I think Spike put together a film that is entertaining, exciting, and sadly all-too-relevant in today’s world. The scenes from recent news at the end might’ve come off a bit clunky to some, but it really brought the message home that in some ways the movie might’ve had a “happy” ending, but in no way is the big picture a positive one.

 Vice. Man. I was really looking forward to this one and I was disappointed. It felt like Adam McKay took all his tools from The Big Short and used them to excess. The Big Short was crisp and covered one specific story. Vice tries to cover a lot of years of Cheney’s life without much cohesion. I wish the movie had focused more on the VP years, which were the best parts of the movie and far too short. The Big Short’s narrator was a main character who explained a lot of complicated concepts that related to his character. Vice tried to have a random character with tons of narration, and it was all over the place without really having a reason for being in the movie. McKay also tries a few other ambitious things that don’t work as well when your movie isn’t strong. Basically, the riskier decisions stuck out more poorly. I wanted to dig this movie, but it just wasn’t very well-made, and I’m underwhelmed by its nominations.

 I didn’t get around to Vice, but there’s something comforting about knowing that I’ll never see all of the Best Picture nominees. Not that I’ve ever let that stop me from providing commentary before. Besides, after Matt’s SCATHING review, I probably made the right call.

 An interesting theme that pervades several of the Best Pic noms this year is the movies being directly at odds with their “true stories” in ways that actively hurt the movies. Green Book, Bohemian Rhapsody, and BlacKkKlansman all suffer from this. Maybe Vice too? Who knows.

 Generally, I try to separate the movie from the real events it’s based on. Real life is rarely as entertaining as a Hollywood flick, so I totally get why Die Hard didn’t have a third act of Carl Winslow filling out paperwork. HAVING SAID THAT when the true tale gets twisted into something totally unrecognizable, is it fair to criticize the movie for that? Green Book completely mutated the character of Dr. Don Shirley to fit a narrative of friendship triumphing over racism; Bohemian Rhapsody mischaracterized the relationship between Freddie Mercury and his bandmates to create a non-existent redemption/comeback arc; BlacKkKlansman ignored all the ways Ron Stallworth sabotaged the pro-Black movement in Colorado in service of painting police as the true heroes of equality.

 I don’t have all the answers here, but these three examples feel like particularly egregious warpings of reality. However, I want to use this opportunity to praise YORGOS, who took enough from history to give The Favourite some context, but was up front about his editorialization enough to where the historical inaccuracies didn’t matter, and it didn’t feel like watching some ol boolshit.

 I wish First Man and If Beale Street Could Talk had gotten in over Vice and Bohemian, or in addition to (since the nominations can go up to 10).  Hell, if you had just added these two to make it 10, this crop would look stronger. The follow-ups for the directors of La La Land and Moonlight, neither film was as strong as the previous outings, but both were quality art. First Man sometimes had less impressive action with its use of shaky cam in the cockpit (which made the theater experience dizzying at times), and it mostly lost the mainstream audience because it was less adventurous than movies like The Martian or Interstellar. It also chose to try to portray Armstrong as an ordinary, less romantic type of hero, which may have been to its detriment for entertainment purposes. But I really liked the story of Neil Armstrong and NASA, warts and all. It felt more authentic and well-acted compared to, oh, I dunno, BR. And the moon landing scenes were breathtaking.

 Beale Street struggled for me with its back-and-forth narrative, and some characters who I wish had more to do but some of the scenes were so good, and the art of it was beautiful. I also wish foreign films like Cold War and Shoplifters could get some Best Picture love too, but I’ll talk more about them below.

 Cinematography: “Cold War,” Lukasz Zal “The Favourite,” Robbie Ryan “Never Look Away,” Caleb Deschanel “Roma,” Alfonso Cuarón “A Star Is Born,” Matthew Libatique

 (edit: We put these categories here as a little TND protest for when the Oscars weren’t gonna air them on the regular telecast. But we’ll leave them here still, because these categories rule.)

 The presumed favorite appears to be Roma, with Cold War as a potential dark horse. After Cuarón’s go-to cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki (three-time consecutive Oscar winner at one point, including for Cuarón’s Gravity) left, he pulled a Thanos and decided to do it himself. Roma’s photography has all the marks of a Lubezki/Cuarón joint. He did well. Some of the shots may be a bit much (as one friend asked, why so many dog poop shots?). But the tracking shots are glorious and usually worked well for art. Following the lizard around on a random day, Cleo running along the street, the shot of the men training, the forest on New Year’s Eve… and of course, the aforementioned furniture store and beach sequences.

 I didn’t see Cold War, but it’s fine because Roma will win. Roma does look great, but damn can Cuaron get another trick besides panning ten feet in either direction after the natural conclusion of a scene? Seriously, he does it like every twenty minutes. I guess this is world building? “You see, here’s what’s happening to our characters. And there’s also more stuff happening...slightly to the left.”

 I was very curious about Cold War after it got a best director nomination as well. The cinematography was beautiful too. And it also deals in black-and-white like Roma, and with different camera framing (I’m not technical enough to explain that). It had some great shots too, in particular a shot with a mirror that really impressed me. Of note, Cold War beat Roma in the American Society of Cinematographer Awards.

 A Star is Born had some good camerawork and cool concert shots.

 Great camera framing when the guy pisses himself. You really *feel* the piss.

 The Favourite was worthy of a nomination too, using some unique camera angles and fisheye lens shots that could have been distracting but ended up working really well for the movie. I have not seen Never Look Away, but the trailer looked good.

 Those long hallway shots in The Favourite were superb. Robbie Ryan is a true Yorgite.

 Film Editing: “BlacKkKlansman,” Barry Alexander Brown “Bohemian Rhapsody,” John Ottman “Green Book,” Patrick J. Don Vito “The Favourite,” Yorgos Mavropsaridis “Vice,” Hank Corwin

 LOL Bohemian Rhapsody. See the aforementioned link about the bad editing in it. I mean, I guess the montage while they recorded the title track was really fun, but cmon! I also had a lot of fun during some scenes of Venom, and I didn’t see that get a bunch of noms!

 Well maybe it should have! Matt made me watch that clip of the first record exec convo from Bohemian Rhapsody, and it’s so bad it wasn’t until like my third viewing when I realized Matt was trying to point out how poorly edited it was. Seriously, I couldn’t even get past the dialogue: “Queen...is for losers” “Well I’m sold!”

 Vice seems to be a favorite on Gold Derby. The movie was too all over the place for me, and I guess it would win for the most editing, because there are all sorts of jumping around and montages and random things the film does. Bohemian is the next favorite, so I don’t really care for this year’s winner. Maybe this year it SHOULD be on commercial break. Jk.

 I didn’t see Vice, but I agree with Matt that more editing definitely doesn’t equal better editing. I think Billy Walsh would agree that sometimes it’s about the cuts you DON’T make.

 I would vote for The Favourite. It’s crisp and efficient. Green Book’s editing is probably a strong suit too, admittedly. BlacKkKlansman could have been shortened some, but the editing during some of the back-and-forths (I think of the KKK meeting versus the black students’ meeting at the end) was really good.

 I agree* that all three of these films were well-edited. It’s a shame that apparently they have no chance at actually winning this award.

 *I think I’ve already set a record for most times agreeing with Matt in an Oscars post. We’re like one of those old married couples that gradually turn into the same person over the years. Sure it might make for a boring post, but at least we’re RIGHT.

 Director: Spike Lee, “BlacKkKlansman” Pawel Pawlikowski, “Cold War” Yorgos Lanthimos, “The Favourite” Alfonso Cuarón, “Roma” Adam McKay, “Vice”

 Cuarón is the presumptive favorite, and he would be very worthy. He shepherded this project to fruition, he told the story he wanted to tell, and he kicked ass. I’ve heard Spike Lee is a possible surprise here, but I’d rather see him get the Screenplay win. As mentioned, BK is not his strongest work for me, and doesn’t quite compare to Do the Right Thing.

 Finally Matt says something stupid! Okay because BlacKkKlansman wasn’t as good as one of the greatest films of all time, Spike doesn’t deserve a win here? I’m not even saying he should win, but if he doesn’t, it’s not because he made a better movie in 1989.

 Cuaron will probably take home the gold, and it’s well-deserved, as he really put his signature style on every aspect of Roma. It’s obviously an extremely personal project for him, but he never lets it dip too far into “diary” territory, and ultimately allows the audience inside of his perspective instead of forcing us to observe from a distance.

 It’s dope that Pawlikowski got nominated sorta out of left field. He really crafted an interesting, powerful story, and it was creative and unique. Yorgos deserves props for his nomination, managing to combine his style with someone else’s script (first time using a script that wasn’t his!). I’m glad Peter Farrelly didn’t get the nod here, but I wish Cooper had gotten it in over McKay. Vice is not that impressive, but I really dug some of the decisions made in Star.

 This might come as a surprise, but I’m quite happy Yorgos got nominated and would love for him to get the upset victory over dog dookie Cuaron. Shoutout to both guys for being able to direct the hell out of some nudity though.

 Lead Actor: Christian Bale, “Vice” Bradley Cooper, “A Star Is Born” Willem Dafoe, “At Eternity’s Gate” Rami Malek, “Bohemian Rhapsody” Viggo Mortensen, “Green Book”

 My Cooper support continues! I hope he wins, and it sounds like some people want him to be a surprise upset here. I thought he really built this role up and nailed it. This could have gone poorly. He could have sounded like Russell Crowe in Les Mis, his voice could have been weird, and he might not have been so likable on screen. But he was! He really became Jackson Maine and crafted this interesting, romantic, tragic character. I thought he was terrific.

 *big sigh*

 I agree with Matt again. Cooper was fantastic in playing a could-have-been-thankless role of a guy who does terrible thing after terrible thing, but still needs the audience on his side at the end. His singing was more than serviceable in the movie, as it was mostly done in live concert scenes where him being a little ragged fit the character/moment. Just uhh, don’t pull that shit up on Spotify.

 Rami Malek is the frontrunner here, which surprises me. Again, I don’t like the movie, but I also like Malek. But Malek has impressed me much more in projects like Mr. Robot and The Pacific. Here, I feel like he is doing a solid impersonation, but he’s not blowing me away like DDL in Lincoln. I feel like he was also limited by the weak script/story. I wish he had had more powerhouse scenes and dialogue, but he just didn’t.

 Oh he didn’t blow you like DDL in Lincoln? That might’ve been the greatest biopic performance of all time. “Malek was good, but his acting wasn’t as good as Spike Lee’s directing in the 80s.”

 Not to defend Malek, dude is just up there doin a little bucky beaver impression -- and I like Malek! Shit was limp and lame. IAWM (I agree with Matt) in that the rest of the movie was so bad, Malek was never afforded the opportunity to rise above being a Halloween costume. Still, he did next to nothing, even with scant material.

 Bale obviously made an impressive transformation in weight/look for Vice, and I always am a fan. He was pretty good here, and I’d be fine with a win, but it wasn’t his best work.

 Viggo was good, but part of the problem of the movie is the fact that Viggo was the lead instead of Mahershala, as the film would have benefited more from being through the lens of Shirley’s view, and not Tony Lip’s.

 Yeah, it pisses me off that Viggo (lol never realized how funny of a name that is until I just typed it) is even in this category. Sure he did a fine job playing a racist guy...maybe a little too fine of a job? I’m surprised Liam Neeson wasn’t clamoring for the role of Tony Lip, so he could do a little method acting.

 As for Dafoe… I don’t know anyone who saw this film, and I wasn’t hyped enough to go see it. Hell, the idea of a 60+ year old playing a guy who died at 37 was enough to not get me hyped, even if the makers tried to say he would have looked like Van Gogh because of the circumstances of the times.

 I obviously didn’t see this movie, but wow that is a hell of a paragraph. Are most people hyped by an old man playing a younger man? Actually, I heard that the producers were worried that Dafoe didn’t look old ENOUGH and were going to CGI in Christopher Plummer. Still though, “circumstances of the times?” I know 2019 seems awful, but this is a helpful reminder that the world use to be a literal hellscape.

 I would have liked to see Ethan Hawke here for First Reformed. He carried the movie, he was awesome in it, and it was definitely unlike the normal Hawke performance I’ve seen before.

 Matt, put a backhanded compliment warning there, sheesh. Hawke was fantastic in First Reformed and absolutely deserved a nomination ahead of Viggo, Malek, Fat Bale, and Benjamin Button-ass Dafoe.

 Gosling here would have been good too. Also would have been cool to see an indie lead, whether Lakeith Stanfield in Sorry to Bother You or John Cho in Searching.

 Stanfield and Cho crushed it in their respective roles. Funny story, Cho initially passed on Searching, but the filmmakers basically stole his phone number and hounded him until he agreed to do on the condition that they leave his ass alone afterwards.

 Lead Actress: Yalitza Aparicio, “Roma” Glenn Close, “The Wife” Olivia Colman, “The Favourite” Lady Gaga, “A Star Is Born” Melissa McCarthy, “Can You Ever Forgive Me?”

 Glenn Close is supposed to win. It’s apparently a lock. This definitely feels like another career honor, since this is her 7th nomination and she hasn’t won. Close is pretty good. The movie is OK and she has a delicate, graceful, but powerful performance here. I mainly just feel like it was the least memorable role here.

 I didn’t see The Wife, but for some reason I’ve got love for Glenn, so I’m happy she’s getting a win.

 Colman wasn’t necessarily the lead of the film, and it was really a three-headed monster (apparently Stone’s character has the most screentime), but she was awesome. She nailed this crazy, sad, bigtime character. I’d pull for her, and I think she has a small chance.

 Colman might’ve had less screen time than Stone, but as the raunchy queen, she commands the audience’s attention much like she commands love from Stone and Weisz. Everything is in service of the queen and Colman puts every ounce of emotion and feeling into a role tightly balanced between needing fealty and needing love.

 Gaga was a contender for a while, and I really liked her and was impressed with her rising to the occasion and taking on this lead role, weaving in her real life story with this fictional character. I think she didn’t always quite hit the acting level of Cooper, but she was close.

 Gaga was good for a rookie, but cmon. She basically had like two expressions the entire movie (dumbstruck and covering half her face/sad and covering half her face).

 I was really into McCarthy’s performance and thought this was a legit good indie film. Small story, really focusing on her character, and she carries it well! The Wife and this are smaller indie stories, but I was more wowed by McCarthy. She handles a sad sack of a character, self-loathing, mischievous, witty. I think she’s a great actress who sometimes ends up in unfortunate movies. This was a good one.

 Shockingly I didn’t see Can You Ever Forgive Me?, but I’m glad McCarthy is getting love. She’s a great actress, but always finds herself in shitty movies.

 I’m so glad Yalitza Aparicio got a nomination! She wasn’t quite as strong to me as Colman or McCarthy, but she has to be good for the film to be good, of course, and she is. I think the technical aspects of the movie outshine her performance in some ways, but she deserves merit.

 Yalitza’s gotta be straight up laughing at all the love for Lady Gaga. Another first time actress, she actually does a great job in the film instead of just getting points because she has hit single songs. The range of emotions on her face when confronted by the nude ninja alone made her worthy of a nomination.

 Who else would I have wanted? Maybe Joanna Kulig for Cold War. She’s a star, and she dances/sings/acts in terrific fashion. Also shoutout to Natalie Portman for Annihilation and Elsie Fisher in Eighth Grade. No one’s gonna remember The Wife in 5 years, but Eighth Grade will stand the test of time.

 Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali, “Green Book” Adam Driver, “BlacKkKlansman” Sam Elliott, “A Star Is Born” Richard E. Grant, “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” Sam Rockwell, “Vice”

 Mahershala is expected to win, and he’s really good as Don Shirley, so I’m cool with it. He is such a magnetic actor, and he carries Shirley well. It’s a pretty different type of character from Juan in Moonlight. Juan’s performance leaned in on charisma, masculinity, and tenderness. Shirley is a character reliant on dignity, sophistication, and inner rage. He nails both. He’s really good. For all the faults I have with the making of Green Book, I do really like Mahershala here. It’s pretty wild that he’s about to get his second Oscar, but hey, good for him!

 You mean an actor played two different roles? Wauw.

 Mahershala completely carried Green Book and filled Don Shirley with so much nuance, complexity, and integrity that he himself should’ve gotten nominated for Best Picture. He IS the movie. It’s such a shame his character was relegated to the supporting role because there’s so much awesome internal logic to Dr. Shirley that he’s fascinating to watch and Ali does a great job of bringing all of that to the forefront without having to resort to speechifying his thoughts or emotions.

 I really like Driver and always like his work. He’s a unique, compelling actor in whatever role he’s in. He has more to do in BK than John David Washington’s main character, and he’s not weighed down by the romance story. There’s something really convincing in any role Driver portrays, whether it’s Kylo Ren, Adam in Girls, or his performance in Silence. I thought his performance was pretty key to the BK story.

 Driver definitely brings a fun presence to BlacKkKlansman helping to achieve the delicate tonal balance Spike was looking for. I mean, not as good as the tonal balance JGL brought to Lincoln, but I digress.

 Grant was really wonderful and charming, and he really carries the movie along with McCarthy. Elliott doesn’t have a ton of scenes in A Star is Born, but each scene of his was a highlight for me. His relationship with Cooper is key to the film, and I really dug it. I don’t really see why Rockwell had to get a nom here. He’s not too essential to the film, and he does a good W impersonation, but this just pales in comparison to his role last year in Three Billboards.

 Ha I only skimmed that last paragraph and just furiously googled “Sam Elliott Three Billboards” because I was confused as fock. Yeah that last conversation between Cooper and Elliott was fantastic, and Elliott is great throughout as the older brother who never got quite as much ass as Jackson Maine.

 We couldn’t have thrown a nod here to Michael B. Jordan instead, for his compelling (albeit polarizing) acting job in Black Panther? I also loved Brian Tyree Henry’s character in If Beale Street Could Talk. Similar short screentime to Rockwell, but way more impactful and memorable. Henry’s scenes in Beale Street are some of the best work you’ll see from last year.

 Was that acting job really polarizing? We have a term for people who have negative things to say about Black Panther. They’re called...Vallelongas. Brian Tyree Henry is one of my favorite actors, so I have no doubt that he was great in Beale Street. I do want to shout him and Daniel Kaluuya out for their performances in Widows. For a story about four strong women coming together to wreck some shit, Henry and Kaluuya stole the show. And my heart.

 Also want to shout out my man Beast! Not saying he should win, but his scene to hilarity ratio in The Favourite was easily 1:1. Everything in The Favourite popped, but his presence made it even poppier.

 Supporting Actress: Amy Adams, “Vice” Marina de Tavira, “Roma” Regina King, “If Beale Street Could Talk” Emma Stone, “The Favourite” Rachel Weisz, “The Favourite”

 I really like Regina King, and she’s pretty good in Beale Street, but I’m sorta surprised that she became the consensus pick. She doesn’t quite have as memorable a performance for me as Mahershala’s or say, Brian Tyree Henry in the same film. She’s a great actress, but there’s not a ton for her to do, and I didn’t leave that film being like WOW, that character!

 Stone and Weisz seem to negate each other, unfortunately. They are both terrific. I didn’t love Stone in La La Land but she’s really fun and vicious here. Weisz is great too and has a lot of fun. I would probably give the edge to Weisz, but I’d strongly praise either performance.

 Weisz was amazing as Sarah Churchill. She is definitely the centerpiece of the film, and does a wonderful job providing an axis for all the wild shit that goes down. What really elevates her performance is that she doesn’t fall into the trap of merely being the straight woman (no pun intended, seriously), and still imbues her character with loads of cunning, fire, and personality.

 Stone was great as well, and I’ll say I didn’t enjoy her in La La Land either, but that’s mostly because I was watching La La Land at the time.

 Amy Adams is awesome in general and good in Vice. Marina de Tavira is really good in Roma, and her nomination was a nice surprise too. Her character as the mother is really pivotal to the story, and I thought she was good at being overall likable even while sometimes being harsh.

 De Tavira gives a great performance in a role that would’ve been easy to gloss over if played by another actress. She never allowed herself to become a background character or only appear as Cleo’s boss. Her story is just as dynamic and heart-rending as Cleo’s, and with less attention given to it, only a great performance would give it the weight it needed and de Tavira absolutely delivered.

 Original Screenplay: “The Favourite,” Deborah Davis, Tony McNamara “First Reformed,” Paul Schrader “Green Book,” Nick Vallelonga, Brian Currie, Peter Farrelly “Roma,” Alfonso Cuarón “Vice,” Adam McKay

 The Favourite seems to be… the favourite for this category.

 Nice.

 It’s a fun, witty script based on historical events (and it seemed to do a decent enough job being similar enough to real life!). Updating a story for the modern times in film format is no easy feat, and I really enjoyed this story.

 Like I mentioned earlier, The Favourite does a great job of drawing just enough historical context while still keeping things fresh and honest, without making the story feel bastardized.

 This is Paul Schrader’s first nomination, which is pretty crazy when he’s had films like Taxi Driver and Raging Bull. First Reformed has a unique, fascinating, compelling premise and story arc. It does remind me a good bit of Taxi Driver in some ways but is its own story too.

 Really happy First Reformed got a little love. In a time when we’re getting nothing but remakes and sequels, a truly original story is always welcome.

 I don’t want Green Book to win. As mentioned, this shit wasn’t vetted by Shirley’s family, which seems kind of important! And it’s a bit cheesy throughout. Technically speaking, it seems like the directing/editing would be better than the writing here. Vice… that story was so all over the place. McKay’s script for Big Short was way crisper and stronger. Roma is a great film, but I don’t put its screenplay up as strongly as its other technical achievements. Eighth Grade should have been nominated here and been a contender. It won at the Writers Guilds Awards (Bo’s speech is really funny too), and Bo Burnham made a brutally vulnerable, honest story about adolescence and technology.

 I usually make a joke here about how movies based on actual events should be in the Adapted Screenplay category (since they’re adapted from real life!), but I guess Nick Vallelonga really took that to heart because he basically removed any shred of reality from Green Book. May as well give Bohemian Rhapsody a nod here too lol

 Adapted Screenplay: “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs,” Joel Coen , Ethan Coen “BlacKkKlansman,” Charlie Wachtel, David Rabinowitz, Kevin Willmott, Spike Lee “Can You Ever Forgive Me?,” Nicole Holofcener and Jeff Whitty “If Beale Street Could Talk,” Barry Jenkins “A Star Is Born,” Eric Roth, Bradley Cooper, Will Fetters

 The rules for adapted are always funny. A Star is Born is based on three previous versions, and Buster Scruggs apparently has some adapted short stories but other completely original short stories. Weird. I wouldn’t feel too strongly about Star’s screenplay since I feel like the quality in its update is more in the acting and music, versus the writing. Buster Scruggs was a mixed bag for me, with some awesome and some meh stories.

 Bro, which stories were meh? Name names! There wasn’t a bad one in the damn bunch.

 BK seems to be in the lead, which would be a cool win for Spike Lee (he previously received an honorary Oscar). Apparently the movie changed a lot, which I imagine was positive for movie action/plot intrigue. I feel like whatever the screenplay did with the romance didn’t really play, but I’m not really sure what else I would push alternatively.

 Matt is really hating on the romance angle in BlacKkKlansman. I’ll be honest, I barely remember that aspect of the movie, so the hate is probably warranted.

 Beale Street was a worthy effort, but I felt like the narrative was all over the place and wonder if Jenkins could have done a better job conveying the story in movie form. I don’t think it was an easy book to adapt, as I’ve heard with Baldwin fiction, but the product in the end doesn’t measure up to BK. As for Can You Ever Forgive Me?, I thought it was a stellar story, and also apparently people don’t think the original memoir itself was very good, so I guess it gets points for that!

 Go ahead and give Jenkins the win to make up for that L* L* L*nd/Moonlight mix up back in 2017.

 Best Documentary Feature: “Free Solo,” Jimmy Chin, Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi “Hale County This Morning, This Evening,” RaMell Ross “Minding the Gap,” Bing Liu “Of Fathers and Sons,” Talal Derki “RBG,” Betsy West, Julie Cohen

 I’m not a big documentary guy, but they have gotten more popular (Won’t You Be Me Neighbor, Three Identical Strangers, Free Solo, and RBG all were box office documentary hits this year), and I’ve ended up checking a few more out. Won’t You Be My Neighbor was one of the most noted snubs when nominations came out, and it’s a shame it didn’t get nominated. It was beloved and had a notable cultural effect last summer, and I thought it was terrific and charming. I didn’t see Three Identical Strangers yet, but I’ve heard it considered to be a snub too, which Alex can elaborate on.

 Shit I had this whole paragraph written up about Mr. Rogers, but Matt just reminded me that it didn’t get nominated. Basically the punchline was that I watched it with my parents and they just clowned Fred the whole time, which I think explains a lot.

 Three Identical Strangers was great, but apparently I’m the only person who either didn’t know about the second twist or didn’t think it was that shocking/big of a deal. I gotta say, capitalizing on your 15 minutes of fame by opening a celebrity restaurant in New York City is probably the most 1988 thing ever.

 Also, no love for the Pope Francis doc? Guess I’ll see the Academy in hell...as I look down from Heaven!

 The betting odds seem split between Free Solo and RBG, with Solo slightly ahead. I am all about Free Solo, and I hope it wins. It’s an incredible, fascinating story. Is this guy insane for making this climb? How do we feel about him with his girlfriend? How do we feel about his girlfriend with him? How do we feel about the documentary crew filming him? Are they enabling him? Deterring him? These are really interesting dynamics throughout the story. It’s helpful that everyone involved in the story is inherently likable, and they are wondering about these same dynamics. Also, although I think most people know the fate of Alex Honnold’s climb before watching, the feat is so extraordinary and ridiculous that you will still be stressed out, nervous, and fascinated watching it.

 The climbing footage is awe-inspiring. The filmmakers do a great job explaining the audacity and absurdity of the climb so that the average viewer can understand what’s going on. This is such a good documentary.

 RBG the person is awesome, and I’m a big fan. But RBG the documentary is just… good? I feel like voters must have been split between this at Won’t You Be My Neighbor, and it’s hard not to compare the two, since they came out around the same time and are both about revered figures. WYBMN has really good editing and panache, and an inherent charm in talking about Mr. Rodgers’ legacy and his past. RBG feels more by-the-numbers and with less impressive editing and focus. It felt a bit short and all-over-the-place. I could have used more time on her advocacy versus her time exercising or becoming a cultural meme.

 WYBMN also benefited from having tons of footage from the TV shows. RBG by comparison doesn’t have as much old footage, and with RBG alive, they do a lot more interviewing her or following her around. It’s an interesting glimpse, but doesn’t work quite as well for me. It’s a good film, and I enjoyed getting more of a look into RBG’s life. But I don’t want it to win.

 Minding the Gap is the other film I saw out of this batch, and it had caught my eye after being on a few critics’ best movies lists at the end of 2018. It’s on Hulu, and it definitely wouldn’t become a box office hit. It has an indie vibe for sure, as Bing Liu, a young filmmaker, follows two friends as they grow from teenagers to young adults, along with examining his own life. The film delves deeply into masculinity, physical abuse from childhood, and identity in the Midwest. It really builds and gets stronger and stronger towards the end. There are some deep emotions that this film can evoke in the viewer, and I really felt for the story by the end. Also, a bonus is that the footage of them skateboarding is really beautiful and whimsical.

 Best Foreign Language Film: “Capernaum” (Lebanon) “Cold War” (Poland) “Never Look Away” (Germany) “Roma” (Mexico) “Shoplifters” (Japan)

 Roma is the clear favorite here. I almost wish that if Roma was definitely getting best picture, they could just retract its nomination here so someone else could win!

 Ha that’s actually not a bad idea. These other flicks don’t stand a chance when Roma is going toe-to-toe with the entire field of movies.

 I really liked Cold War and Shoplifters. I didn’t get a chance to see Capernaum or Never Look Away. Never Look Away seemed to have mixed reviews, which makes me wish that Burning (South Korea! Steven Yeun!) got the nom instead. While in the lobby post-Cold War, my friend and I saw a bunch of people left Capernaum in tears, so… that seems like it must have been good and sad?

 Bro, people were crying because it SUCKED. Jk, I’m sure it’s wonderful. Also, has a foreign language film ever been nominated that wasn’t a totally depressing tearjerker? Do countries besides the U.S. and France make comedies? I know there isn’t much to laugh about in Turkmenistan or wherever, but I’m just asking.

 Cold War is by the previous winner of Ida, another excellent black-and-white film. While Ida was smaller scale in time, Cold War spans a romance of two musicians over some years. It similarly tackles the repercussions of WWII and the titled Cold War on Poland. The two main characters are really captivating and dynamic to watch. The music portrayed is super fun. The challenges of the times are fascinating. My one gripe is that the film felt a bit weirdly paced at times, partly because it was covering a multitude of years, and the characters’ decisions were sometimes a bit too dubious for me.

 I really dug Shoplifters too. It’s a lovely, beautiful film that ponders what a family is. The characters aren’t conventional good guys, mistakes are made, and these characters try to keep their version of a family together. Sometimes the movie is beautiful and optimistic, sometimes it’s sad and heartbreaking. I also liked how the movie was intentionally confusing about some details, to add to the storytelling aspect.

 Animated Feature: “Incredibles 2,” Brad Bird “Isle of Dogs,” Wes Anderson “Mirai,” Mamoru Hosoda “Ralph Breaks the Internet,” Rich Moore, Phil Johnston “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse,” Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman

 SPIDER-VERSE. All the way. That movie could have gone poorly. There is definitely a lot of Spider-man content out in the world in recent years, and the movie worked by both leaning into that and truly creating its own story to stand on. Miles Morales was an awesome main character. Peter Parker was a great side character (that was definitely a risk in storytelling). Miles’ family characters were well-portrayed (shoutout Brian Tyree Henry and Mahershala Ali, AGAIN. Those dudes kill it).

 Spider-Verse might be my favorite movie of the YEAR. #2 this decade behind Moonlight and all of the X-Men films. Everything about this movie is fantastic. The characters are well-drawn (emotionally and literally), the stories are engaging, and the humor, while appropriate for all ages, doesn’t include any lame juvenile shit (unlike this blog post). Folks (myself) were legit getting emotional in the theater. Looked like a screening of Capernaum in there.

 The animation was awesome. It was new and unique, making the movie feel like a comic book come to life. I think the movie had a poor box office opening because of market saturation, but it ended up grossing a respectable amount based on word of mouth and audience reception. Good! Can’t wait to see what’s next.

 I’d literally never seen anything like Spider-Verse. The animation was crazy dynamic, constantly shifting between more realistic and more cartoony depending on what the situation called for. Everything about this movie from the animation, to the music, to the voices is completely fresh and inspired.

 The Incredibles 2 seemed to take the box office by storm, and by the time I saw it a month or so later, I was a bit let down. The movie is a bit unsatisfying in originality after so many years. It’s still good! I had a lot of fun, and some of the action sequences were pretty exciting. It’s just not as good as Pixar’s best or the first Incredibles.

 No desire to see Incredibles 2. Incredibles 1 is massively overrated and all anyone wanted to talk about from part 2 is how hot the mom was. I’m good, homie.

 Isle of Dogs was really fun and charming. It was a solid Wes Anderson joint. I do wish it had more agency for some of the Asian characters, and it’s still sorta funny to me that Wes just kinda dropped in with his crew + one Asian writer for the script. But yeah, it was a really fun movie. I haven’t seen Ralph since I hadn’t gotten to the first one yet. Mirai looks like my kind of jam, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. Spiderverse all the way.

 Isle of Dogs is racist as hell! Why will no one talk about it??? I feel like I’m going INSANE

 Original Song: “All The Stars” from “Black Panther” by Kendrick Lamar, SZA “I’ll Fight” from “RBG” by Diane Warren, Jennifer Hudson “The Place Where Lost Things Go” from “Mary Poppins Returns” by Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman “Shallow” from “A Star Is Born” by Lady Gaga, Mark Ronson, Anthony Rossomando, Andrew Wyatt and Benjamin Rice “When A Cowboy Trades His Spurs For Wings” from “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” by David Rawlings and Gillian Welch

 Shallow is such a heavyweight here. That song is the classic from a soundtrack of lots of good songs. It’s perfect for their relationship in the story, and it’s the best scene in the film when she comes onstage to sing it. I hope they crush it live on stage. Get it, Bradley!

 Would’ve loved for “Why Did You Do That?” to get an ironic nomination here. Man that song was ass. “Shallow” is a good song and plays an important role in the movie, so I’m not upset at all if it wins, but yo that part where they’re just like “Sha-la-la-la-la-low” is weak as hell. Should’ve ponied up for Jason Isbell to get the late checkout time, maybe he could’ve done something there.

 Hot take: “When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings” is a MUCH better song.

 Man, the Mary Poppins’ new songs were pretty disappointing. Maybe they should have gotten Lin involved in the writing. The Buster Scruggs song is pretty goofy and funny, and All the Stars is a fun anthem.

 All the Stars is a fresh track, I wouldn’t be mad at it pulling an upset.

 Original Score: “BlacKkKlansman,” Terence Blanchard “Black Panther,” Ludwig Goransson “If Beale Street Could Talk,” Nicholas Britell “Isle of Dogs,” Alexandre Desplat “Mary Poppins Returns,” Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman

 Feels like First Man got snubbed here bigtime. That score was really good, and it seemed like a favorite before nominations came out. I’d root for Brittell’s score. His work was beautiful in this (and in Moonlight), so a win would be cool. I generally like Desplat’s whimsy, but I don’t remember much about the score here. Black Panther’s was cool, though I feel like it was more about the songs on the soundtrack versus Ludwig’s score. Ludwig is the man though. I wouldn’t hate him getting it.

 Good point about Black Panther’s strength lying in its songs instead of the soundtrack. Really disappointed in Sicario 2 overall, but especially in its score. Sicario 1 had the hottest score of the year when it dropped, but much like everything else about Sicario 2, it didn’t deliver.

 Sound Editing: “Black Panther,” Benjamin A. Burtt, Steve Boeddeker “Bohemian Rhapsody,” John Warhurst “First Man,” Ai-Ling Lee, Mildred Iatrou Morgan “A Quiet Place,” Ethan Van der Ryn, Erik Aadahl “Roma,” Sergio Diaz, Skip Lievsay

 Sound Mixing: “Black Panther” “Bohemian Rhapsody” “First Man” “Roma” “A Star Is Born”

 This confuses me every year. Here’s a good article for the differences. Basically, sound editing awards effects (think, creating gunfire/explosion noise for a war/action movie). while  sound mixing awards the soundscape/all the sounds mixed together.

 So with that in mind… these categories seem to have less predictable winners, and I see that the sound editing leaders are currently First Man and A Quiet Place. I’d give props to First Man here, for doing work with the space exploration. A Quiet Place is interesting since it had to use its sound so effectively and specifically.

 How you gonna award A Quiet Place for its SOUND? Smh

 As for sound mixing, I really dug watching Roma in theaters. You could hear sounds, birds chirping, and it felt like you were on the street in the neighborhood of Roma.

 It’s almost like you can really *hear* the dogshit squishing between the kids’ toes on the pavement.

 Now, it appears that Gold Derby leans towards three options: A Star is Born, First Man, or Bohemian Rhapsody. I feel like BR relied a lot on pre-done recordings unrelated to filming, so I’m not sure about that one (though I suppose that’s the point of sound mixing, I dunno… look, I just don’t want it to win -- lmao same bro). A Star is Born had to deal with live music! It’s way more worthy.

 Visual Effects: “Avengers: Infinity War” “Christopher Robin” “First Man” “Ready Player One” “Solo: A Star Wars Story”

 This is easily Infinity War. Relying on Thanos as a main character meant a ton of work, and if you remember his cameos in Guardians or the Avengers post-credits, you know that he looked better here and much more fully realized. He was a mammoth, a threat, and the visual portrayal was well done. His fight against Hulk, his fight against Doctor Strange, some awesome FX. Having to weave in tons of comic characters was no easy feat too, with Falcon and War Machine fighting in the sky while Groot, Rocket, and Cap are on the ground against those bad guys.

 Avengers all the way. Having a lame-looking Thanos would’ve nuked the whole movie (people are STILL talking about Superman’s CGI shave), but they knocked it out of the park. Infinity War had to be a huge undertaking, as it’s a million superheroes pulling out all the stops for like 6 hours. Kinda surprised Black Panther didn’t get any love here for similar reasons.

 Ready Player One had a lot of fun effects too. It had to rely a lot on video game storytelling, and the adventure of it was pretty fun and well-done. Solo was fine.

 I honestly had to ruminate for like five minutes to remember if I saw Solo or not. I think “fine” is the most accurate possible description of any aspect of Solo.

 First Man was quality. I dug their comments on how there is no way they could have faked the moon landing considering how hard it is now to even try to demonstrate that in a fictional film.

 That’s what they want you to think, sheeple!!!

 Christopher Robin? Wasn’t that bear real?? What are you trying to say???

 Realest bear since the one that took Leo’s ass in The Revenant.

 Production Design: “Black Panther,” Hannah Beachler “First Man,” Nathan Crowley, Kathy Lucas “The Favourite,” Fiona Crombie, Alice Felton “Mary Poppins Returns,” John Myhre, Gordon Sim “Roma,” Eugenio Caballero, Bárbara Enrı́quez

 Costume Design: “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs,” Mary Zophres “Black Panther,” Ruth E. Carter “The Favourite,” Sandy Powell “Mary Poppins Returns,” Sandy Powell “Mary Queen of Scots,” Alexandra Byrne

 Black Panther was sick. Weaving in futuristic elements with African culture. The sets were wild. The costumes were fantastic. The Favourite did a good job doing the royal vibe too. The NASA production that they had to recreate in First Man made it feel really authentic. Same for Roma. Lots of good stuff here.

 Agreed on Black Panther for all the reasons Matt mentions, but I think you gotta go with The Favourite here. Those people looked like they STUNK. Just fucking gross all the way around -- and it was PERFECT.

 The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and Roma had great design as well. As an anthology, Buster Scruggs had the added degree of difficulty of making sure every story appeared distinct enough while maintaining the overall look and feel of the movie.

 Makeup and Hair: “Border” “Mary Queen of Scots” “Vice”

 I mean, you saw Christian Bale as Dick Cheney. Lock this up.

 Clink-clink!

 Animated Short: “Animal Behaviour,” Alison Snowden, David Fine “Bao,” Domee Shi “Late Afternoon,” Louise Bagnall “One Small Step,” Andrew Chesworth, Bobby Pontillas “Weekends,” Trevor Jimenez

 “Weekends” by Trevor Jimenez sounds like a banger of an R&B album.

 Best Documentary Short Subject: “Black Sheep,” Ed Perkins “End Game,” Rob Epstein, Jeffrey Friedman “Lifeboat,” Skye Fitzgerald “A Night at the Garden,” Marshall Curry “Period. End of Sentence.,” Rayka Zehtabchi

 Best Live Action Short Film: “Detainment,” Vincent Lambe “Fauve,” Jeremy Comte “Marguerite,” Marianne Farley “Mother,” Rodrigo Sorogoyen “Skin,” Guy Nattiv

 Bao was a fun, sweet short that had some nice Asian representation… that’s all I got.

 I’ll be watching the documentary shorts the night before the Oscars, but wanted to get this post up before then, so if you want my thoughts on those nominees, holla at ya boy.

 As for everything else? I probably agree with Matt.

[supertam87]

Ok guys, I think I can finally wrap my brain around this enough to give a coherent recap. I'm a processor, so I had to live it in the moment, and now that I'm on the plane leaving the experience behind, hopefully I can make sense of it. I posted pictures in order of event. Sorry I can't write in between each pic, but I'm on my iPhone and it won't let me add pics as I go. Anyway, to get on with it... I started my epic adventure with a 4 hour layover in San Francisco which isn't as bad as it might seem, because I've been married for 25 years and have 4 kids and rarely get to be alone! Let the adventure begin. I roomed with the amazing @sileas84 who is 100% responsible for me attending this con. She employed shameless peer pressure and I crumpled like a card tower in the hands of a toddler. I have no regrets. We arrived at the con at 6:30 am and immediately met up with a group of awesome women (in picture two - this is @myguiltyolpleasure's pic btw). We were determined to be up close. FIVE HOURS OF WAITING later, we sat on row 5 center and I was thrilled. I was really hoping for a good view. And boy did I get one! Sam twirled in that kilt and I didn't even try to look, his knickers presented themselves to me! Simple black boxer-briefs - always a classy choice 😂. For most of the panel I could see right up his thigh just because of the way he was sitting in relation to where I was sitting. It's not that I looked, it's just that it was thigh porn and I totally looked. At one point we were directed to take a selfie, so we did. (Pic 3) If there's one thing I can tell you about this particular con, it's that it was all about obedience. I have never been yelled at by adult strangers so many times in one day since I was a pre-teen. If you stepped out of line, and I mean that literally and figuratively, you heard about it. I won't talk about the panel because all y'all have seen it. It was fun, they were adorable and I love them. The hour flew by and I could have sat there and listened to them for the rest of the day. Sam's unintentional joke about reading about stuff on Tumblr cracked me up, mostly because he was mortified and blushed. After the panel the autograph session filled up immediately, so we went to get lunch. Ladies, I got up at 4:30am. It was 12:30. I was starving, parched, desperate to pee - cons are not for the weaklings of the herd. That Diet Coke was on par with meeting Sam. I'm just sayin'. Lunch was a tiny little respite in a sea of hurry up and wait. Following our brief lunch we did our photo ops. You need to understand, those two photos took 4 hours. Compare the photo with only Sam vs the photo with both and look at Sam's eyes. By the time we got to group photos, he was literally exhausted, yet he treated us exactly the same both times (as did Cait) - warm and welcoming, said hello, eye contact, a little squeeze of the hand on the shoulder (ded. I am ded) They were ultimately respectful of the fans and the time and money we put into this. Said thanks and goodbye as we left. I am so impressed with both their professionalism and their basic humanity. These are quality people. The solo photo op is where I had my hair/armpit incident. We walked up and Sam just throws his arms open to engulf you in his superior humanity. As he was putting his arm around me (did I REALLY just type that!) he caught my very long hair with his arm and I ended up being trapped right up against him with my head sort of forced to lay against his arm. I. Am. Not. Complaining. I'm stunned that I had the presence of mind to smile. All I could think of was that I was pressed up against Sam so tight that I could feel how soft the leather of his jacket was. I didn't even notice that he had changed from kilt to jeans until later. My first thought about Caitriona when she entered the panel stage is that no picture or video can ever prepare you for how tall and thin she really is. And how gorgeous and graceful she is. And how charming and funny and silly and well spoken and sincere and kind. Ok, I'll stop. Just look up all the positive adjectives. Next we went to the autograph line. I was there when the lights went out and Caitriona joked about that not being the way to get to Sam and also when he was jokey about being bored because he had no one at his station so he teased her about taking too long and went over to harass her at her table. They were funny and relaxed and enjoying themselves and it was great to see the spontaneous interaction. Every event was very rushed, but they again did their best to say hello, make eye contact, say a little something to you, and thank you for coming. I had them sign my original Outlander book that was given to me by a friend about twelve years ago, who said, "You might like this." Famous last words. As you can see, it's lived a good life. I've lent it out many times. I said at dinner last night that I was too nervous and hadn't really say anything to Caitriona, until I literally went oh my gosh! I did say something to Cait. I had totally blocked it in my nervous state. She commented on how well loved my book was, and I said 'yes, it's been read many times by many people and it opens right to the wedding scene' and then I proved it, by opening it right to that scene. So, yep. I did that. I blushed so hard my eyeballs turned red when I remembered that. Sam was equally adorable, but I just had 'do not say that to sam' on repeat so then I didn't really know what to say to him. He was so sweet. His handler was rushing him a little bit and he sort of looked at him and then apologized to me for being rushed along. He looked me right in the eyes. He winked at me and smiled. Ladies, the smolder is real. I was POSITIVE I was immune to the Sam effect and I am NOT. I literally went weak at the knees. My stomach churned. I started shaking. I giggled. I could not think. Well, I could. But the only thing I could think was 'Sam. Sam winked at me. Sam's eyes are so blue. Sam is so beautiful. Sam. Sam winked at me.' My brain sort of jammed. After dinner a huge group (like 17) of us went to dinner. It was awesome. It was amazing. These ladies are incredible. Our fandom is incredible. Last night we went to a smaller dinner and stayed for hours. I can't tell you how hard we laughed. It was so much fun. I seriously love this place for so much more than Tumblr. We are such a diverse group. Different cultures, different educational and socio-economic backgrounds, different personal and relationship statuses, and most importantly, different ages. We have so much to teach each other and so much to learn, and as a group, we are so generous with our time, talents, resources, emotional support and wisdom. I treasure this. I am so grateful I went. I loved meeting Sam and Caitriona. It was great fun. Meeting dear friends who will remain forever was life changing. I look forward to doing this again one day and meeting even more of you. Sorry I bombarded you with a DG length post, but thanks for making it through. All I can finish with is if you didn't leave with a Totes McGoat tote, then you didn't con right!!

[russellthornton]

How to Take a Good Selfie: The Must-Know Selfie-Ready Guide for Men

As a woman who’s spent a good deal of time swiping through dating apps, I can honestly say most men do not know how to take a good selfie.

With just a few minutes of swiping through a dating app, it is painfully clear that men do not know how to take a good selfie or feel natural doing it. Now, I don’t blame you. Taking a photo of yourself can feel awkward and shallow.

But, a selfie is no more than any other photo and should be treated as such. With selfies being what draws people into our social networks or even into our romantic lives, they are a small window into who we are.

That is a lot of pressure for one photo. Once you pick up on how to take a good selfie, it won’t be so terrifying. [Read: A photographer’s guide to taking a sexy picture]

Why men don’t know how to take a good selfie

When I say men, I, of course, do not mean all men. Have you seen Will Smith’s Instagram?

But, there is a reason you came looking for this post. Whether you feel weird taking selfies or think your selfies always come out wrong, you are probably right. Sorry, but it is true. I do not want to judge men or anyone on a simple selfie, but with the way online dating and social media are nowadays, selfies say a lot.

So, why do men not know how to take a good selfie? My opinion is that you are trying too hard. Do you pose and make serious faces when your mom takes a photo of you and your sister? No, but that is your most flattering photo.

From what I have seen, men put on a persona or give off a vibe in selfies. It seems like men are try to impress other men with their selfies. They don’t want to be seen as feminine or vain so they make a face that says “cool” rather than “happy.”

Sure, not all selfies men take are to attract someone romantically. Even your aunt and grandma will prefer to see your next selfie looking like you and not like a version of you trying too hard to impress. [Read: The best and worst ways to present yourself online]

The idea behind how to take a good selfie

When you are about to take a selfie, what are you thinking about? How your hair looks or how the lighting is?

Before getting into the nitty-gritty, think about the selfies you see. Statistically, selfies that show someone smiling are swiped right *liked* about two times more than selfies making any other face. When you see a girl on Instagram post a selfie smiling, that smile affects you more than a duck face or a serious look.

Even if you don’t think so, it is proven. Smiles are contagious. They are responded to more positively. So, go into your next selfie happy and having fun rather than putting on a show or acting a certain way that just doesn’t feel like you.

A selfie should look how you look. It should feel like someone is looking at a still of how you are, not how you want to appear or think you should appear. [Read: 30 effective tips to help you win at online dating]

How to take a good selfie for someone

Who is your selfie for? All your Instagram followers? A dating app? Your girlfriend? When taking a selfie, the recipient it is important.

And I am sorry to say I have received too many less than flattering selfies from guys on Snapchat. Not to mention the many bad selfies on Bumble and Tinder. This may be too much information, but if you look constipated, it is not a good look.

I cannot tell you how many times I received a selfie from a man on Snapchat and actually closed it before the 10 seconds were up. It made me uncomfortable. You should not look serious. Nothing about a selfie is serious. You should not look like you are struggling to make a bowel movement or mimicking the Zoolander pose.

You should have fun with it. Funny faces, smiles, even weird and embarrassing filters are the way to go. And to be brutally honest, sometimes no selfie is better than a bad one. A bad selfie can actually be a major turn off. And it isn’t about your ability to take a good photo, but about the vibe that you’re giving off. [Read: What makes a man sexy – 15 desirable traits that make you hot AF]

An example of how to take a good selfie

As I swipe through a dating app, I am bombarded with photos of guys standing in front of cars I know and care nothing about. I see selfies of guys trying their best to look serious when in fact they look unattractive and creepy.

The rare selfie of a guy smiling or making a funny face is refreshing, intriguing, and attractive. This may just be me, but I feel that women would rather see a guy being himself and having fun rather than trying to impress.

And when guys do post those serious selfies and pictures in front of cars, it seems like they are trying to impress other guys rather than a potential love interest. Are you asking your guy friends’ help to pick dating app photos? Next time, ask a female friend for her advice. [Read: Why a girl best friend is a real gem]

The do’s and don’ts of how to take a good selfie

Hopefully, you see where I’m coming from when I say the best way for a man to take a good selfie is to be comfortable and avoid trying too hard. But along with those tips, here are some more helpful hints to guarantee your next selfie will get all the Instagram likes and the right swipes when online dating.

#1 Do practice. This does not mean you take 200 selfies before finding a good one. It means you should get used to seeing yourself on camera. You can find your lighting, sure, but also get used to the idea that you are taking a selfie and own that.

Once you are comfortable with taking a photo of yourself, the whole thing will feel a lot more normal.

#2 Don’t show off. Don’t be cocky. I said be comfortable and own the fact that you are taking a selfie, but trying to look “cool” or impressive is not the way to go about it. Making a connection is how you get someone’s attention in person, so keep that as the goal when taking a selfie.

You want to connect with people who see this photo, not intimidate them. [Read: How to make a girl like you without even telling her you like her]

#3 Do smile. Not as if you are taking your third-grade school photo, but as if you are just happy and in a good mood. Smiling does not mean you say cheese and show your teeth from ear to ear.

Just look how you would if you saw someone you were attracted to, came across an adorable puppy, or spent the day with your grandma.

#4 Don’t wear sunglasses. I cannot tell you how many guys on dating apps have five selfies of them in sunglasses. Does this make any sense? The whole point of a photo is to see what someone looks like.

If your end game is to meet someone, they will see what you actually look like eventually. At least have one selfie of your face. Sure if you are at the beach or posting for your friend on your Instagram story show off those Ray-Bans, but not when it comes to dating apps. [Read: 15 things guys do that are a big turn off for girls]

#5 Do be in the light. There is zero point of a selfie when you can barely see an outline of your face. Maybe you are not the most confident in your looks, I get it. But posting a selfie in the dark only magnifies those self-doubts.

You might be scared of rejection or that someone may not be attracted to you, but you put your face out into the world every day. It is your face and you have to own it. The whole purpose of a selfie is to show yourself. So stand in front of a window. Let the sun shine. Natural daylight or evening light is the most flattering.

Posting a selfie that is bright shows that you are comfortable and not ashamed of your looks which is much more attractive.

#6 Don’t be creepy. I am not sure if guys know they look creepy in their selfies or think they look sexy, but either way, stop with those serious faces. You either look creepy or like you have a stomach ache. Trying to look sexy in a selfie is like trying to smell good at the gym, not possible.

Just be you. Your selfie should look how you look. You should look at it and think, “yup that is me.” You should not look like you are making a face. If you feel uncomfortable snapping that picture, people will feel uncomfortable looking at it. [Read: How to not come across as creepy to a girl]

#7 Do have decent quality. With iPhones, there is no excuse for a blurry or pixelated photo. If your selfie is so blurry that I cannot tell what you look like, there is no point in using that photo. It is not artsy or mysterious. Posting a selfie where someone cannot see you makes it look like you are hiding something.

The only other explanation is that you are taking selfies on a flip phone. Get with the times, seriously!

#8 Don’t selfie and drive. This should be obvious and I should not have to say it. But I still see countless men *or should I say boys?* posting selfies while they are driving, and on highways no less. Not only is this insanely dangerous and stupid, but anyone with any sense that sees it will not find you attractive or clever.

#9 Do own it. You are taking a selfie. Sure, it is silly. Sure, it is super millennial. And sure it is a tad shallow. But if you are ashamed of the fact that you are taking a selfie, that vibe is going to come through in a photo.

You know what people say about a photo being worth a thousand words? Well, you want those words to be positive, not second-guessing and uncomfortable. [Read: How to be comfortable with yourself and not give a f*ck]

#10 Don’t overedit. I know, you see people do it all the time. Instagram is full of selfies so overly edited that the subject looks more like a doll than a human.  But just because it is common practice does not mean you should follow.

Sure, you can enhance the lighting and blur a major zit, but you have pores, so don’t blur them into nothingness. The whole point of Photoshop and Facetune is to make it look like you didn’t edit it, not like you have poreless china doll skin. Own how you look and share that with the world.

[Read: 20 hot guy rules for men that will guarantee instant hotness!]

Men, if you take one thing from this list of do’s and don’ts for how to take a selfie, it should be, be you. Your selfie should show yourself, not anyone or anything else.

The post How to Take a Good Selfie: The Must-Know Selfie-Ready Guide for Men is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[glenmenlow]

PR: The Leading Marketing Power Of Our Times?

When people discovered that dropping Mentos candies into a bottle of Diet Coke creates a geyser that shoots 20 feet into the air, more than 800 videos flooded the Internet to document the volcanic possibilities. The firm that manufactures Mentos gleefully welcomed a gusher of free publicity out of the deal. In contrast, Coca-Cola’s attorneys initially tried to shut down the video posts. As we might expect, these efforts were fruitless. Today a Google search for “Diet Coke and Mentos” yields over 2.8 million results.

As PR professionals know, buzz is everything. Today marketers know it, too. Yet when we teach Marketing in business schools, PR typically is just a footnote. Most of my colleagues spend about ½ a class lecture on the topic and move on to sales promotions and other alternatives to advertising. Sorry, just being honest.

But have the tables turned? You’d have to be out of touch not to recognize that earned media has displaced paid media as the key driver of consumer behavior today. The last time I checked, encouraging positive word-of-mouth (for relatively little money) was one important thing that the PR folks do. Yet I haven’t seen any industry professionals step up to assert their new importance in our social media world. You can easily take an entire course on Social Media Marketing without running into a single mention of the public relations industry.

As my colleague Margaret Bruce and I have written, this new digital world offers us mixed blessings. In the “horizontal revolution,” ordinary folks have the power to spread the word (good and bad) about the products, services and stores that catch their attention. As we all know, the impact is exponential and incredibly quick. That’s a sword that cuts both ways, as many organizations have learned the hard way (I’m talking to you, United Airlines).

The dawning of the horizontal revolution means that marketing organizations no longer have the prerogative to manage for coherence — where the goal is to maximize consistency of message content across consumer touch points. The reason for this change is simple, yet profound: Marketing organizations no longer get to define their identities in the first place.

Today it is far more realistic to think about managing for anarchy. Companies—whether they acknowledge it or not—no longer own their brands. They make them; they distribute them and they promote them, but ultimately consumers decide what they mean. Mentos and Coca-Cola learned this lesson, though each reacted quite differently.

Here’s the dilemma: The organization that empowers masses of people to spread a message also relinquishes control over the content of that message. The epic battle between Apple, known for its iron-fisted control over its products, and Google, champion of the open source movement, exemplifies the conflict between high-control and low-control business paradigms.

Foundations Of Media Anarchy

Two fundamental shifts in the marketing landscape contribute to this new reality of crowdsourced brand management. Marketers and PR people need to understand both to be able to manage in an era of media anarchy.

Shift #1: Consumers proactively define brand meaning

Even after decades of brand equity research, most measurement schemes capture only a small set of fairly objective brand characteristics (such as favorability, top-of-mind salience, and uniqueness) to describe the market value of a brand. These qualities are important, but they fall a bit short when they try to explain why an Apple devotee will camp out in front of a store for days to await the release of a new iPhone model, or why thousands of people have their favorite brand logos burned into their skin as permanent tattoos.

Research in the alternate branding paradigm suggests that a brand obtains marketplace significance as it embeds itself in consumer culture. Strong brands “matter” to their users and the worlds in which they reside; they provide meanings that people need to make sense of their lives. The raw material for these stories often emanates from events in mass culture that are well beyond the brand’s control. Harley-Davidson, for example, benefited tremendously from the famed riots in Hollister, California, in 1957, which were later codified in Marlon Brando’s rebel role in The Wild Ones.

Shift #2: Microsegmentation: The fragmentation of popular culture

Conventional approaches to market segmentation originated with corporate pioneers (most notably General Motors) that recognized the value of developing separate business units to cater to the needs of relatively large, homogeneous targets. Today that approach is more problematic. As I discuss in my latest book, contemporary culture splinters into a constantly evolving myriad of microcultures, where consumers find common ground in finely-defined lifestyle or aesthetic preferences.

These groups form tightly-knit communities (even though members may never meet in the flesh). Fandoms typically coalesce around an activity (e.g., skateboarding), a media event (e.g., the television show Lost), or a cult brand (e.g., Nike Air Jordans). As avid fans, they do not just wait passively for the next official press release or product launch; they stalk the creators or even create their own versions (e.g., the numerous Star Trek movies that amateurs have filmed).

A Taxonomy Of Digital Real Estate

When we combine the two emerging dimensions of sponsor control and microsegmentation, we can plot traditional and emerging media platforms into four quadrants of “digital real estate.” In this scheme the regions labeled “Gated Communities” and “Housing Developments” resemble traditional media, where the corporation provides the information and consumers passively process it. In contrast, “Artists’ Colonies” and “College Dorms” embrace user-generated content, where consumers proactively change the meaning of the content.

Here is an overview of each quadrant:

Gated Community: A highly specialized platform where the sponsor tightly controls the content. At Sermo, registered physicians (only) can comment on medical issues and/or offer diagnoses for symptoms others describe.

Artists’ Colony: A highly specialized platform where users’ preferences largely determine the content. At Threadless, community members peruse shirt designs that artists submit. They vote on their favorites and the company manufactures and sells the chosen designs.

Housing Development: A mass-market platform where the sponsor tightly controls the content. On network television channels, the goal is to maximize viewer volume while remaining vigilant about matching programming to the homogenized tastes of the modal viewer.

College Dorm: A mass-market platform where users’ preferences largely determine the content. Auction sites such as eBay match buyers with sellers, and exercise minimal oversight.

Learn To Love Anarchy

From a media anarchy perspective, the emergence of these fluid messaging platforms challenges entrenched managerial philosophies. As we move beyond the initial “wow factor” of social media and start to realize the nuances that exist among different platforms, marketers and PR professionals need consider just what they need to accomplish and what different platforms offer in service of these objectives. A simple taxonomy like this one is a starting point to position the organization in the “metaverse” of media platforms. More important, learn from others in your digital neighborhood. Go beyond your immediate product competitors; locate your organization in the digital real estate taxonomy. Identify best practices among others who live in your quadrant.

On many platforms, we don’t get to dictate what we stand for. We are what our customers tell us we are. In this new world, brand managers share the driver’s seat with those who used to be passive recipients of their messages. But every disruption also brings opportunity. As earned media continues to mushroom, today word-of-mouth is king. For PR professionals, maybe it’s time to step up and take your place at the Marketing table.

Learn to love anarchy.

Contributed to Branding Strategy Insider by: Michael Solomon, author of  “Marketers, Tear Down These Walls!.”

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