#sorry i had this written down in my notes from the other night and forgot to post it

[royalarmyofoz]

love the change from "i hope you're happy"(derogitory) to "i hope you're happy"(affectionate) in defying gravity

[tiredmamaissy]

Ralak te Sepawn ieyk’itan: Special Episode VI 

Labor of Love - Part I

Masterlist ; Rut/Heat/Knotting Info

🔞 minors, do not interact 🔞

Hyperlinks are attached to specific paragraphs that when clicked on will lead you to its illustration by Ralak's insanely talented creator @zestys-stuff. Thank you so much for allowing me to play around with your characters!

Characters: Metkayina!Ralak (25) x Sully!Omaticaya!Reader (20) featuring Metkayina!Zu’té (29)

Warnings: this shit has zero smut, angst angst angst, did i say angst?, this is so dramatic i'm sorry, expletives, a bit of fluff, pregnancy, cliff hanger, let me know if i forgot anything

Word Count: 8k 

Requested: Yes || No

Author’s Note: You are now entering angst town, please buckle your seatbelts and try to enjoy the ride. Jokes aside, GUYS. This chapter…is the most angsty thing I’ve ever written. I’m excited and nervous, and everything in between. There’s a lot going on in this chapter and I just hope to Eywa that I’ve written it in a way that flows and is easy to follow. I’ve had this idea brewing for months, it feels. Now…this shit was over 20,000 words long. That is a personal record and I will not be subjecting you guys to such a monstrosity. Therefore, this is part one of (at the moment) three. I apologise in advance for the cliffhanger, hehe. Also, welcome to my brain, because idk how I came up with this shit. 

Synopsis: You didn’t foresee this, Ralak kept you in the dark for the sake of you and your baby’s safety. But now the time has come, it’s all too overwhelming for you to process. 

<- Previous-> Next

Ralak never shared more than he needed to when it came to his duties with Tonowari. No matter how much you vowed to keep it confidential. He’s a man of few words, but when it came to his business he kept them fewer.

As much as you knew, his trips inland consisted of hunting and gathering bigger game that most warriors struggled to handle.

There's a few times you can count on one hand that he's come home a little more worn down. Each time you cursed Tonowari under your breath as you helped your mate unwind. You’d insist on knowing what the olo’eyktan had him doing to be so spent and why he had not entirely fulfilled his promise to lighten Ralak of his duties since the mating.

Ralak would be quick to shut you down in the most gentle way despite feeling irritable and sombre. It was always something along the lines of, ‘it keeps you safe, and that is my duty’, and that he’ll ‘discuss it when the time comes’.

It seems the time has come. 

Another gloomy night, rain and thunder tear through the sky. These storms are more frequent in this season, as it’s Ewyas way of keeping the balance with the freshwater and seawater ratio for the mangroves.

But tonight it’s torrential. You’re in full bloom, ready to step into your new chapter of motherhood at any moment. The babe sits low in your womb and you’re swollen from what feels like head to toe. The rain isn’t helping with the soreness in your joints. 

Ralak is seated next to the crackling firepit, stirring the bubbling stew with one hand and mindlessly rubbing your swollen ankles with the other. Meanwhile you lay snuggled in bed, wrapped comfortably in the thick shawl as you listen to the pitter-patter. It’s peaceful, despite the dull ache in your lower back. Maybe the rain isn’t so bad, after all. 

Ta-toom!

The low-pitched sound of the war horn has Ralak's full attention, shredding him of whatever serenity he had in his being. Moving hastily, he stands and darts over to the marui door, slipping into his gear and fixing his largest spear on his back.

The scene unfolding before your eyes is a rare one. You’d only seen him in full gear on the day you first laid eyes on him. The day you arrived here in Awa’atlu. And it brings a sinking feeling to your stomach.

“Ralak… what was that?” You ask nervously.

You watch him aggressively tighten the strap of his tstalsena [knife sheathe; carrier] and chuck a bucket of water in the fire—killing the flame. A precautionary measure. He knows the time has come. He hears your voice but he also hears Tonowari's...

'When the horn sounds… you come. And that…is an order.'

In his head, he’s going through an array of possible responses but there’s simply no time for any of them. Using the frame of the bed to pull yourself up, you slowly come to your feet and waddle towards him.

“Ralak. What is going on?” You ask a little louder, a hand gripping his wrist. 

Turning to face you, his hands fly to support your stomach as he looks you deeply in the eyes. Then he kisses you with purpose. Pressing his lips into yours like it would be the last time, forcing himself to pull away to briefly glance down at his unborn.

It catches you by surprise, leaving you looking up at him open mouthed. Now you’re really scared. It feels like he’s being plucked away from your fingers and there’s nothing you can do about it. “Ralak—”

“I will explain when I am back. All of it.” He already sounds out of breath, fixing the shawl over your shoulders. “You stay here. Stay warm. Do not leave. Do not answer to anyone. Understand?” 

Your forehead wrinkles as you try to process this all. 

Don’t answer to anyone? To whom? Why did he put out the fire? Why is he in full gear? What the fuck is going on right now? He said he’d be back…right?

“Y/n.” He booms your name, yet his tone remains steady and calm. “Understand?”

You nod hurriedly, “Yes. Yes.” 

“I will be back soon.” He fixes your shawl a last time before stepping back and bolting through the door.

You follow behind him, keeping the marui flap open to watch him click for his skimwing. He makes the bond and mounts the beast hastily, and is airborne soaring towards the mainland at full tilt. 

Befuddled, you waddle back inside, your back slamming into the marui stilt as you huff and puff to catch your breath. You nervously check the stew, and see that it’s almost done. The glowing charcoal should be enough to finish it off, so you opt to leave it covered and fidget with the prrsmung [baby carrier] you've weaving for the past couple days. 

Anything to keep you busy. 

——

Ralak effortlessly dismounts his tsurak, letting it glide past him in the water as he climbs up to the communal pod. This is a gathering place for important meetings and announcements to the clan. He watches as others assemble under the larger, woven marui, drenched with the water of the sea and sky. It’s clear that this was a signal for the warriors of the clan, from the elite, to the former. The young and the old. 

Even Zu’té is present, standing lone far off in the corner.

War horn in hand, the olo’eyktan makes his presence known as he stands on the highest part of the pod. His mate, the tsahìk, stands next to him with her chest high and their children next to her.

Jake and Neytiri, along with Lo’ak and Neteyam, group together behind them at the back of the pod, observing the unfolding scene. The warriors begin to chant, defensively positioned with their tongues on display. They’re all armed and ready to protect their own from whatever the impending threat is. Ralak takes his place next to Tonowari, standing tall and still. He observes the uproar before him, his mask of indifference fixed tightly to his face. 

“Mawey. Mawey. [Calm. Calm.]” Ronal speaks loudly over the heavy rain, hands splayed out in front of her. 

But it makes no difference. 

The uproar is growing even louder than the downpour. It was rare to hear this particular horn. It’s been years, ten, to be exact. And those who know exactly what it means are up in arms. Ralak knew this day would soon come, but he was hoping to Eywa that it would be after the birth of his son. Tonowari lets loose a throaty ‘gwah’, driving the butt of his spear into the ground. The crowd hushes down into a dead silence, acknowledging their leader.

“Warriors of Awa’atlu. I summon you for good reason. Ten years have passed and it is time to meet with the ash people once more.” Tonowari begins, only for the younger warriors to mumble among themselves, some of who are unaware of who the ash people are. 

“Tìfnu! [silence!]” Ralak snaps through his teeth, “…the olo’eyktan speaks.” Tonowari nods to Ralak. 

“The treaty has ended. We meet with them far inland to discuss the terms of a new treaty.” Tonowari’s eyes bounce among the sea of na’vi. “It will be no easy or short journey. We must make the trek by foot. Tonight.” 

A few male na’vi are unable to keep their excitement to a minimum and siren a few calls, smacking their strakes together. Neytiri snakes her arm around Jake's upper bicep, tucked under his wing. Neteyam and Lo’ak listen intently, their heads tilted down as they grip their bows firmly. 

“Not all will come. I have chosen a few to be at my side.” Tonowari glances at Ralak, and then the Sullys before continuing, “The rest must stay and protect the clan if needed.” 

Ronal interjects, speaking of the ash na’vi and their horrid way of living—from their occasionally cannibalistic diet to their view of Eywa and the balance. She further reminds the people of the treaty, and that its tenets include immunity from their ‘hunting practices’ in exchange for a resource only attainable on the reef. The treaty is valid for a decade and then the terms are subject to negotiation based on the two tribe’s needs. She commences it by announcing the names of those who have been chosen by Tonowari.

“I need you by my side, Ralak.”

It was a direct order, and Ralak knows that. He knows that no matter what he says, the olo’eyktan’s order must be obeyed. But it doesn’t mean he won’t try. 

“She is due any day now. You know that.” Ralak speaks crystal clear, stating exactly what his concerns are.

He doesn’t want to leave you alone, especially so heavy and full with his firstborn, who will come at any moment. Every bone in his body is telling him it’s the wrong move. But Tonowari glances at his own wife who is swollen with his fourth child.

“I know. I know, Tak. But we must do what we need. For the people.” 

Ralak holds a stare with his superior—his father figure. He’s gritting his teeth to keep himself together, to keep his composure. To keep his thoughts just as his thoughts. The two communicate through facial expressions, and a quick tilt to Tonowari’s head has Ralak looking away in frustration. 

It’s final. 

“No.” Jake butts in, sharp and quick with his disapproval. “He gave me his word.” 

Alas, a moment where father and son in law are in favour of the same thing. 

“You have the sky people and we have the ash people. They demand his (Ralak’s) presence. If we fail in this, we will be at war. He comes with us.” Tonowari is stern with his tone, leaving no room for an argument. 

“Ma’ Jake.” Neytiri chimes in, fright evident in her voice. She is tired of the war. 

As a last resort, Ralak’s gaze shifts over to Zu’té. He knew Zu’té would also be chosen despite his...'retirement'. He was undoubtedly one of the best warriors the clan has ever had, wielding great strength and skill. Zu’té returns the stare, crossing his arms over his chest as he cocks a brow. Their brothership had strengthened after Ralak sought help. 

Jake notices this, and shakes his head with his hands on his hips. “Nope. No. Who is that guy anyways?” 

“My brother.”  

“His brother.” 

The two taller na’vi speak at once. 

“Since when do you have a—You know what? I don’t care. Okay? You? I trust. Him? Not so much. I’d rather my boys stay with her.” Jake says sternly, glancing at Zu’té. “No offence, bud.” 

“Good thing I care not for your opinion, koaktan [old man].” 

“Zu’té.” Ralak whispers harshly, throwing a glare at his sibling. 

“Look, if you got a problem—”

“What about tuk?” Neytiri cuts her mate short, tugging at his arm to remind him of who is watching their youngest daughter. 

“Then they take turns or somethin’, I’m not havin’ one baby girl watched and not the other.” 

“Toruk makto.” Tonowari lays a heavy hand on the former olo’eyktan's shoulder, drawing him away to break the tension. “They cannot step foot on our land with the treaty. She will be safe. Trust me…” Their voices drown out from the pounding downpour. 

As they go back and forth, Ralak begins to process what Tonowari said.

‘They demand his presence’.

Tonowari had made this meeting the topic of conversation over the past few weeks, preparing him for this. But he never mentioned anything about them demanding his attendance in particular. The last meeting with the ash people happened when Ralak was a very young warrior, long before his iknimaya. 

Back then, Tonowari had a different warrior at his side—a different right hand. She was strong and well known for being patient with her students. It was a frequent story at family dinner when Tonowari and Ronal took Ralak under their wing. And as Ralak became Tonowari's right hand man, he was thrusted into enforcing the tenets of the treaty, going inland with Tonowari to uphold the clan's part.

Ralak has only caught a glimpse of them once after delivering the resource to the agreed spot. He had just started these excursions with Tonowari, and his curiosity got the best of him. He looked behind him for just a moment, and caught the sight of a curvy, grey woman hastily gathering and stuffing everything into a satchel of some sort. 

Her stripes were a deep, ashy blue, and her skin seemed almost scale-like. She was rid of any bioluminescence, as if the light within her was gone, and her hair was matted with what looked like burgundy clay. Tonowari then seized the back of Ralak’s neck and shoved him along, advising that he never looks. 

“It is decided. Neteyam, Lo’ak and Zu’té stay.” Tonowari announces as he and Jake rejoin the group, looking at those who are left—Tonowari, Neytiri and Ralak. “We leave soon, make your arrangements.” 

Ralak knew his last few words were directed to him. With that, Ralak strides towards Zu’té. “I know what I am asking of you, Zu’té—” 

“I will do this for you.” Zu’té turns to face Ralak, who’s undeniably uneasy and concerned. 

“Protect her.” 

“You protect her. Get in and get out of there, baby brother.” Zu’té speaks, extending his hand out to Ralak. Ralak nods firmly. He’s right, your safety, along with the rest of the clan’s, depends on how this all plays out. 

“Oe irayo si ngaru [I give thanks to you].” Ralak's hand meets Zu’té’s forearm with a smack. They tug back and forth a bit, silently wishing each other luck on their own endeavours before setting off on their skimwings. 

They arrive, walking with haste along the beach towards the stairs to Ralak’s marui pod in the pouring rain.

“That’s...interesting.” Zu’té makes a comment about the railings for the stairs. 

“She has a hard time without it.” Ralak responds, stopping at the bottom step, coming to the quick realisation that this man will essentially be replacing him for the next few eclipses. “She may need help using them.” 

Zu’té nods, understanding what he really means. “Do not fret, brother. I will take care of your mate.” 

Ralak releases a shaky breath as they make their way to the patio, finding shelter from the rain. 

“Wait here.” Ralak speaks with his back turned, “I must speak with her first.”  

——

A torturous hour has passed, and you’ve burned circles into your marui floor from pacing so much. He’s taking longer than you’d expected, and worry is really starting to set in now. 

What’s going on? What did that sound mean? Why did he leave in such a rush? With all his gear, too? 

You gnaw at the calloused piece of skin on your thumb, keeping a warm comforting hand on your bump to keep your kicking babe calm. Regardless, he continues doing somersaults in your womb.

Fuck it. 

You rush towards the marui door where your gear hangs, and fight with the strap of your chest piece to slip it on you. It won’t fasten and it’s simply too tight to fit your body right now, but you continue to grapple with the stupid strap with shaky hands. 

“Tanhì.” Ralak’s voice is rough and he sounds winded. “What are you doing?” He rushes over to you and quickly removes the piece off your chest. 

“Ralak—oh, thank Eywa.” Your voice is shaky, but thick with relief. “I’m sorry, I just got s-so worried.”

“We must speak. Time is going.” Ralak carefully ushers you over to the bed, and assists you in sitting down, holding your swollen belly along the way. He takes note of his active child, feeling his little kicks and pokes. He comforts his young with a few strokes to your stomach. “Shh-shh, little one. Alright.”

He knows this whole ordeal must be stressing you both, and he’s really regretting not telling you all of this sooner.

“What do you mean?” You ask, urgency thick in your voice.

Ralaks demeanour is nothing short of solemn, tensed jaw and tightened lips. It seems serious, and this man is no person to jest on such matters.

"Ralak...What is happening?"

He takes a moment to reply, his gaze fixed on his hand that still lays firmly on your stomach. He then looks up at you, concern etched into his features. “It is time to speak about… my duties with Tonowari.” 

You feel your heart thud against your ribcage, your eyes widen at the words. You’ve been eager to know, but now that he’s telling you, it implies that everything isn’t alright. It implies… the safety of your unborn is compromised. You nod slowly, trying to remain calm for the sake of your son. 

“We reef people hold a peace treaty with another clan…” the giant begins, slipping his hand from your stomach to clasp yours tightly. “…the ash people.” 

“Ash people?” Your voice is less than a whisper, tiny and croaky.

“They are a horrible people, tanhì. Truly wicked. Kawnglan [malicious; bad hearted]. Much like the sky people.” He shakes his head as he mutters the words, not even wanting to go into any more detail. He didn’t want to taint your innocence. To stress your mind. Especially now that you’re heavy with his child. “The treaty keeps them off this land. It keeps you safe.” 

“Kawnglan [malicious; bad hearted].” You repeat through a gasp. 

“To them, Eywa is nothing. Tsaheylu [the bond] is for control. Their diet…” Ralak catches himself, bringing his words to a halt.

“Their diet…?” Your bottom lip trembles. 

Ralak just shakes his head, taking your other hand with his. “The treaty will soon end. I must go. Tonight.”

“What?!” You shout, wrenching your hands from his grasp to quickly stand up. A shooting pain sears up the side of your stomach, and your hand flies to clutch it. Ralak rushes to steady you.

“Careful, y/n.” He snaps, high strung and tense. “I will be back in a few eclipses.” 

“What? No! No, no. It’s too dangerous.” You protest, gripping his wrists to stay standing.  

“It is the olo’eyktan’s orders. I must.” He’s quick to respond to you. 

This quietens you. Does Tonowari not know that you’re due any day? Or perhaps he doesn’t care. How could he rip your mate away from you at this time? Especially for something so…risky. You feel your fear bubble into something more hot. 

Anger. 

“Then I’m coming.” You announce, dropping your hands from his wrists to waddle over to your gear once more. Ralak stands in front of you, hands on your stomach to stop you. 

“No. You're staying here.” Ralak orders sternly, backing you up to sit back on the bed. 

“No. I’m coming. I’m safer with you.” You resist his pushes, trying to stand firm.

“You are heavy with child.” He grits his teeth, giving you another light push, “I cannot protect you there. You—agh—you are safer here.”

Ralak makes the confession, feeling like he’s failing at his duty as your mate. He shouldn’t even be leaving you, not when you're this far along. He should be by your side, tending to your every need. 

“What? By myself? What if—what if something happens? What if the baby—” You’re cut short by the sound of Zu’té’s not-so-reserved entrance. He yanks the marui flap to the side, ducking under it and standing tall behind Ralak, by just a couple inches. He, too, is fully equipped with his gear and weapons. 

“Brother. I can hear the war party.” Zu’té speaks with haste, keeping his eyes locked onto Ralak. 

'Brother?' Your eyes snap back to Ralak, beady and full of tears. “You didn’t.”

It quickly dawns on you that Ralak had planned this out. Made these arrangements in anticipation things went south and he had no say in the matter. To ensure your safety, and the safety of your unborn by going to the greatest length of rekindling a flame that had been extinct for twelve years. Ralak has spoken casually of his brother before, but never in any great detail. 

“Y/n. This is Zu’té, my brother. He will keep you safe.” Ralak speaks with shame in his voice, knowing this must be way too overwhelming for you. He hadn’t planned for it to go like this. 

Zu’té finally allows his eyes to wander over to you. They widen when they get their first proper look of you, darting all over your body to take in your foreign features.

He caught a glimpse when your family first arrived in Awa’atlu, but never this close. His eyes land on your bulging stomach, lingering a second too long to make even himself a bit uncomfortable. He clears his throat and looks back at Ralak.

You look at Zu’té with anger in your eyes, and then back at Ralak as they begin to swell with hot tears. Zu’té tries to make himself smaller, feeling the thickness of the air now. He backs up into the marui flap, tempted to lift it and walk himself outside to relieve some of the pressure. 

“How long did you say this would be f-for? What if I go into labour? Will you really allow another man to deliver our son?” 

Zu’té quickly but silently excuses himself from the room, taking a spot on the patio with his arms crossed over his chest, pinching the bridge of his nose. ‘Oh, Toto. What have you gotten yourself into?’

Angry, you shot the words like an arrow and they pierced your mate’s chest with ease. He grimaces, as if he were actually in pain.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I—” You sob the apology, burying your hot face into your hands. 

Ralak embraces you, wrapping his large arms around your body, hugging you close and tight. He sways a little with you, humming deep in his chest. “‘ts alright. You’re okay. Take a breath. I know this is frightening.” 

He understands—it is not uncommon for a navi pair to remain close during the final weeks of pregnancy. It’s an unconscious mechanism, keeping them together for the birth of their offspring. Ralak feels it just as much as you but in order to truly protect you he must go— another thing that he understands. 

“You c-come back to me, o-okay?” Your breath won’t stop hitching. “Come as s-soon as y-you can.” 

“I will, I will. ” He coos, pulling back enough to look down at you. “Mawey, tanhì. Strong heart. For our baby.” 

You nod, lifting your head to look up at him. He sees the terror in your eyes and his heart breaks with guilt. He gently presses his forehead against yours, slowly stroking your back. 

“Nga yawne lu oer, nga yawne lu oer. [I love you, I love you]” He whispers longingly as he closes the distance between your mouths. 

“Nga yawne lu oer [I love you]. S-So much.” You sputter, lips trembling against his.

He kisses you with force, pressing his lips into yours until it almost hurts. You both linger there, not wanting to part ways. But you feel him pulling away, knowing there wasn’t much time left. Instinctively, cling onto him when his lips leave yours. 

“Please don’t go.” You mumble into his chest, knowing that he has no choice.

“I have to, my tanhì.” He mutters as he begins to pull away before letting go completely. 

You follow behind him, thumb in your mouth as you nibble at the skin, hand resting on top of your bump. You watch him call for his tsurak for a second time tonight, and look back at you for a moment. He takes in the sight of you standing next to his older brother, trying to find comfort in knowing that you’re in safe hands. Ralak gives him a nod and mounts the beast, taking off towards the war party.

Leaving you in the presence of Zu’té. 

“Y/n, is it?” Zu’té asks, already knowing the answer.

It’s awkward and he doesn’t do well in these types of situations. He knows comfort is what you need right now, considering you’re now sobbing into your hands again. You’re worried sick. Literally. It’s all making you feel woozy and lightheaded. 

“Listen...” He goes to rest a hand on your upper back, but he hesitates, leaving his hand to hover. He retracts it completely, allowing it to fall back to his side. He sighs, droopy ears and tensed brows. “He will return soon.”

Among all the emotions that cloud you at once, anger still remains roaring at the forefront. You find yourself turning your heel and ignoring his presence, waddling away as fast as your swollen feet will allow it. 

“Leave m-me be.” You spit between hitched breaths, ensuring the flap of the marui door shuts harshly behind you. 

Despite feeling sympathy for you, Zu’té stands outside, finding solace in being alone. He chooses the driest spot, and sets himself up on the patio, getting ready for the stormy night ahead. 

You waddle in to bed, wrapping yourself in the thick shawl that smells like your mate, and lay next to the prrsmung [baby carrier] you still have yet to finish. Feeling defeated and empty, you lay on your side in bed as you process everything, letting silent tears crash onto your bed.

——

You’re not entirely sure at what point in the night that you drifted to sleep, but you wake up in a groggy state. Dried tears make it hard to open your eyes, and your hair sticks to your face. You look around in a daze and realise that it’s still dark outside. 

The pang in your bladder keeps you awake and forces you out of bed, making you wobble to the curtain. You pull it back and are met with the sight of Zu’té sleeping propped up against the marui wall with his spear tucked to his chest. 

Seeing him painfully reminds you of the heart wrenching events of last night. That even though you were hoping and praying to Eywa for it all to be a bad dream—it was all very real. 

An icy cold breeze gusts by, making you shiver under your shawl and Zu’té shift in his sleep. The rain had eased off into a light, continuous drizzle some time during the night. 

Your ears droop with guilt for leaving him out here in the cold, damp night. You let out a sigh and grip the railing to the marui stairs, turning your body sideways to take your first step down. The wood squeaks when it takes your weight, Ralaks usual tell tale sign that you’re sneaking out at night without his help. 

It seems to work for Zu’té too because by the time you reach the second step you hear a raspy voice.  

“I was told you need help with these.” Zu’té offers his hand. You let out a sigh and take his arm. 

 You’ll admit, his helping hand is actually helping, especially now that you’re so far along. 

“Irayo [thank you].” You mutter, holding on tightly as you make your way to the bottom step. Zu’té leans against the railing, waiting for you to finish your business. 

You don’t take long, most trips recently have been false alarms—just the baby pushing on your bladder because he’s so low down. As you make your way back to the stairs, your lower back begins to warm up. It radiates to your upper and inner thighs, making them ache as you walk. 

It’s nothing new, aches and pains are becoming more frequent as the days pass, and the cold certainly isn’t helping. Zu’té meets you at the bottom step with an extended elbow, and you take his arm without a second thought. 

It starts to rain again, hard. The temperature easily falls by a few degrees and all you want is to be inside the warmth of your bed right now. Your feet move at a quicker pace and as much as Zu’té tries to be gentle as he can, his grip tightens. 

“Take your time.” He says, keeping you steady as you reach the top step. 

Once you get to the door, he immediately lets go of you, stepping aside to take his spot on the patio for the remainder of the night. You pull back the marui flap but find yourself hesitating to step inside. You look over your shoulder, watching Zu’té tuck his spear close to his chest and prop himself against the wall.

“Zu’té.” You say. He looks at you, brows raised as he listens. “It’s cold out here. You should come—” 

“Don’t worry about me.” He cuts you short, closing his eyes. 

“I’m not.” Your words are quick and almost defensive. 

Zu’té chuckles a bit, if you could even call it that. “Sounds like you are.” 

You sigh, getting a little irritated. “Whatever.”

“I’ll be alright out here.” He says nonchalantly, opening his eyes to look directly at you. Your heart skips a beat and you feel the blood drain from your face. You thought Ralak was intimidating, but this guy is something else. 

“Sure.” It’s awkward, but a good awkward…if that were a thing. “Night.”

“Wake me if you need me. No more sneaky shit.” He’s muttering now, ready to go back to sleep. “And get some rest.”

You hold back your laugh, a little amused by the stark difference in his personality and Ralaks. How are they brothers? Or related, even? 

“Will do, sir.” You match his sarcastic tone, entering the marui and laying down in bed, hoping to Eywa that sleep will find you soon. 

——

Village life continues despite Ralak and the others' absence. You wake up earlier than usual, despite the exhausting circumstances. Your baby moves, letting you know he’s awake too. 

“Daddy will be home soon.” You reassure your babe, gently rubbing your stomach. 

Perhaps you were also reassuring yourself. 

You feel empty, and numb. And as much as you want to lay in bed all day and wait for your mates return, you still have a few things left to do before your son’s arrival. 

First thing being, getting some food in your system. 

You get ready, and walk outside, noticing that Zu’té is no longer in his spot. 

He wakes early. 

Looking out into the distance, you catch sight of Zu’té crouching next to a small flame, cooking what seems to be squid. It’s hard to be sure of what it is—the sun hasn’t fully bloomed, and though the rain has stopped it’s still a bit gloomy. You make your way over to him, taking extra care when going down the stairs.

“Morning.” You say nonchalantly. 

Zu’té’s ears spring up and he looks behind him—behind you—directly at the stairs. His brows lower and he sighs quickly, knowing there’s no point in making the comment. He looks back at his task, turning the slightly charred squid impaled by a sharpened branch. 

“You’re up early.” The giant states, back turned to you to reveal his insanely intricate tattoo. 

“Same to you.” You respond, staring at his back hard enough to burn holes into it. You see some scarring and thickened skin, presumably from his days as a warrior. That much you knew because of Ralak. 

“Squid. Help yourself.” Zu’té says, handing you a stick of burnt squid. 

Taking it from him, you hold it in front of your face, a little baffled at how he seemingly saw nothing wrong with it. 

“Hm…thanks. Looks…well done.” You try to force a smile, to no avail. 

You try to take a seat next to him, struggling to keep your balance as you lower yourself to your knees. His ears lay flat and he instinctively springs to his feet, helping you sit down. He didn’t think you’d join him here. 

It’s silent. Uncomfortably silent. And awkward. You keep your extremities close and your tail closer, curled up in on yourself to remain as small as you can. Although, in comparison to your mate's brother, you were tiny. 

He’s not taller by much, but still taller nonetheless. It really makes you wonder how their parents looked for them to turn out this way. 

Zu’té eats hastily, shovelling the squid in his mouth as if it had the ability to slither away. It makes you look back at your own serving and suddenly your nerves go haywire. You didn’t want to risk getting sick, your bedside bucket is too far away to fetch. But you didn’t want to be rude—he’d obviously woken up early to make this for you. 

You take an experimental bite and fight for your life to keep a straight face. You exaggerate a nod and cover your mouth with your hand, hiding the way you're smacking away at this blubbery piece of meat. 

“Mm. Mhm.” You grunt, forcing it down and clearing your throat. “It’s—uhm, it’s not—”

“I am no ‘emyu [cooker].” He says, chucking his cleared stick into the fire. 

“Ahem—yeah. Yup.” You twirl the stick between your pointer finger and thumb, bringing his attention to your five fingered hand. His eyes widen a bit before quickly looking away, and you tuck them back in between your thighs. 

“Thanks for breakfast.”

“Sleep well?” 

You both speak at the same time, unintentionally clearing the tension in the air. 

“I suppose, all things considered.” You try to speak lightheartedly. “And you? Did any part of you freeze?” 

Zu’té laughs and shakes his head. “No, not quite.” 

“Well, that’s good.” You say, looking out at sea to witness the sun's emergence. It casts an orange hue over the water, illuminating the ripples of the oncoming waves. 

He’s watching it too. 

“Your tattoo.” You speak softly, witnessing his ears flutter. “…on your back.” 

“Ah. What of it?” 

“What does it mean? I mean—” You stutter, still adapting to the idea of inking being a symbolic statement. “What’s the story behind that?” 

The story replays in his head—the death of the spirit brothers and family. It flashes before him, as if he were in that moment again. The guilt and pain inside him is eternal, something that’s never left him since. He’s never spoken of it, not even to the person he hurt the most through it all—Ralak. 

His ears pin back and his jaw tightens. He shrugs his shoulders and mutters, “Felt like it.” 

“So…you’re telling me you did that, for fun?” The surprise is evident in your voice as you look at the tattoo again. His skin is raised and it spans the entirety of his upper back. “That must have been really painful. Ralak did mine and it took days.” 

“Didn’t hurt.” Zu’té says, turning his body to you yet keeping his eyes on the sun. But it did. It hurt—a lot. Self inflicted pain, to symbolise the pain he inflicted on others, even if it weren’t his intention. 

Maybe they are brothers. You think.

“You going to eat that?” He asks, interrupting your train of thought, pointing at your squid on a stick. 

“Uhh—I’m going to pass.” You answer, offering it to him, “…sorry.” 

“Again. Not a ‘emyu [cooker]” He takes it gladly, biting off a decent chunk and chewing at it unbothered with a deadpan expression.

Nevermind. 

Now the silence isn’t as awkward. You choose to sit here a while longer, enjoying this moment as much as you can before coming back to reality. The reality that there may be a war brewing. That—

Ralak isn’t here. 

Well, that didn’t last long. 

Sadness washes over you, making your ears droop and your tail heavy. Your baby gives you a sudden, hard kick in the ribs, as if he were telling his mummy to cheer up. You uncross your legs and shift your weight to the one side, getting ready to get up and be productive.

 Zu’té seems to take note of that. 

“Need to get up?” He asks, chucking yet another stick into the fire. 

“I got it.” You grunt, shuffling to your knees.

Zu’té lets out a displeased grumble, understanding what his brother meant when he said you have a stubborn streak. He goes to help you anyways, supporting you by the elbow. 

You’re just about standing when you feel a sharp stabbing pain in your back. It makes you jolt and grab onto Zu’té, whose slight irritation instantly turns into concern. 

“Y/n.” 

“I’m good, I’m good.” You repeat out of breath, steadying yourself before letting go. He seemed unsure if you really were okay. “Really. Happens all the time now.” 

Zu’té nods, letting go and giving you a little more space. “Alright.” 

——

The meeting spot is no other than the ‘head quarters’ of the ash people. It is only on this occasion that another clan may step foot on their land and walk away with a beating heart. That is, if all goes well. Tonowari is confident, however, knowing that the resource they provide the ash people is sufficient enough to prolong the treaty for many decades to come. 

It is an ore that forms deep underwater, and can only be extracted by the most skilled divers. Divers that can hold their breath for up to half an hour. The use of this ore remains unknown to the reef people, but the ash people are quick to seize it almost instantaneously at the drop off point. The ore is plentiful among the reef, renewing itself as it is harvested—the act of the great mother restoring balance as needed.

Truth be told, although the reef people are a peaceful people, it is no secret that they hold some of the strongest warriors on Pandora. They are proud of their home, and will fight to protect it at all costs. Even the ash people know this. Which is the reason for their agreement on something as laughable as a ‘peace’ treaty.

Otherwise, what’s really to stop them from annihilating the reef people and taking the ore themselves?  

Ralak meets with the others—Tonowari, Jake, Neytiri, and Ronal. They all set off far inland to the place the two clans met ten years ago. The trek is long and tiresome, leaving Ronal winded and in need of a couple breaks along the way. She is, too, heavy with child, but as tsahìk, she perseveres. Tonowari had tried to convince her several times to stay home, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

“We are here.” Tonowari announces as the group nears the settlement of their natural enemy. It’s a rocky environment, much like the reef but with plenty of soil and clay. “Heads straight. Ignore them.”

——

Zu’té stays nearby the marui as he tends to some of Ralak’s duties, keeping an eye on you from afar. You sit comfortably on the bottom step of the marui stairs, concentrating on finishing your baby’s sling. Your fingers are a little swollen, making it more difficult to weave. Frustrated, you plop the sling to your side and bury your face into your hands. 

Everything is just too overwhelming right now. 

“Your technique is poor.” Zu’té’s voice booms over you. 

You look up, seeing this tall man with his hands on his hips tower over you, shading you from the sun. “Excuse me? I’ll have you know that I have plenty of knowledge on—” 

“This is a prrsmung [baby carrier], yes?” Zu’té picks up the sling and sits himself next to you, searching for the point in which you left off.

You watch intently, intrigued to know his next move. He carefully unravels all the wefts you’ve managed to do since sitting on this damned step. 

“What are you doing? Stop!” 

Zu’té sighs and demonstrates a weaving technique you’ve never seen before, entwining and knitting the fabric until it comes together in an even neater fashion. You look at him in awe, dumbstruck that he was able to do that. Ralak dislikes weaving, in fact, he loathes it. 

“Try it.” He says, plucking the fabric away from itself to unravel it once more before handing it back to you. You hesitate to take it, caught off guard from his unexpected, skilled movements. 

“My fingers are swollen.” You say, feeling defeated and a little embarrassed. He looks down, noticing your five-fingered hand again, not nearly surprised as last time. 

“Not as big as mine.” He tries to hand you the sling again. “You got it.” 

Reluctantly, you take the sling and slowly mirror his movements, replicating the technique perfectly. 

“See?” Zu’té sounds pleased with himself. Looking down at the sling, it dawns on you.

“So, you’re a weaver?” You ask the question as if you had just struck gold. “Usually the women take on that role.” 

“Not here, forest girl.” Zu’té defends his role proudly, “But yes, I am.” 

“Nice. It is good to see that. My grandmother is a great weaver, she taught me all I know.” You begin. 

For as long as your body would allow it, you and Zu’té sat on that step and wove together. You wove the sling and he went to fetch his satchel to work on a piece of his own. Though you did most of the talking, and found yourself dodging one too many snarky remarks, a bond formed on that step. 

You told him about your past at hometree, your reason for seeking uturu to begin with. 

The sky people. 

The words wouldn’t stop flowing, especially when you got onto the topic of how you met his brother. You explained that Ralak was your karyu [teacher] and how that quickly morphed into something much more beautiful. How you broke past his walls—took off his mask of indifference. 

But then that awkward silence came again. The silence that reminded you why this stranger was in your home to begin with. That he was playing watchdog because your mate had to leave your side whilst being heavily pregnant. 

“I lied.” Zu’té fills the silence. It has your ears perked up and your full attention on him. Your heart picked up speed, almost expecting something bad. “About?”

“That tattoo hurt like a kalweyaveng [son of a bitch].” 

His confession has you bellowing out in laughter, clutching your stomach to keep you from shaking up your baby. 

“I knew it.” You finally say once you calm down from a much needed laugh. “No good comes from trying to pretend that things don’t hurt, you know.” 

Little did you know these words weighed heavy on him. Heavier than you meant for them to. He falls silent, contemplating if he should say what he’s about to. The real confession. The real reason behind the tattoo. 

“I killed our spirit brothers.” He blurts out, astonished by his own voice. 

Did I really just say that? Shit.

“What?” You exhale, your heart now galloping in your chest.

“It was twelve years ago. I was…seventeen. Sent out to war. I had to keep Ralak out of it. I went alone…lead a group of warriors to protect the tulkun.” His voice seizes up, as if his throat were closing. He looks away, fixing his gaze to his feet. “I was still learning. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. The sky people…they slaughtered them all.” 

“Hey, hey. That’s not your fault, Zu’té. You didn’t kill them. The sky people did.” You rest your hand on his back, feeling how raised and toughened the skin where his inking lay deep.

Zu’té just looks at you, eyes trembling with vulnerability. It’s the first someone outside of the family has ever told him that. It’s something that he needed to hear. 

“Is that why you fled? Ralak told me you left him.” 

Zu’té nods, looking away in shame once more. “I abandoned him.”

You shake your head, knowing now that Ralak has healed and no longer feels this way. “He has healed Zu’té. And now it is your turn.” 

Zu’té only nods, allowing the silence to fill the space again. This time it’s needed. 

Until it's broken by a familiar voice. 

“Sister.” Neteyam greets you at the bottom step, throwing a smile your way, then to your stomach. “Little one.” 

He’s checking on you per your fathers request. Of course he wanted to ensure you were okay, too. 

“Tey.” You smile big, happy to see such a familiar, comforting face. “I thought you went.”

You reach out for the railing to pull yourself up, and both Neteyam and Zu’té go to help you get up. You side-hug Neteyam, finding comfort in your brother. It’s been a hectic night. 

“No, someone’s got to watch Tuk…and you.” Neteyam chuckles. As you let go, your glances at Ralak’s brother. “Neteyam, this is Ralak’s brother. Zu’té.” You introduce the two properly. 

Taught manners from a young age, Neteyam gestures ‘I see you’ to the former warrior, and he returns the sign. 

“Uncle TeyTey’s got you guys for the day.” Neteyam coos at your tummy, and then offers you his arm. 

“Right...Dads orders?” You ask, happy to go with him. 

“Dads orders.” Neteyam nods firmly, looking at Zu’té to relay the message. Zu’té returns the nod, being present to hear your fathers concerns about the entire arrangement. Besides, it’ll give him time to hunt for something proper for dinner. 

“C’mon guys!” Lo’ak shouts from the ocean, mounted on his skimwing with Tuk behind him. 

“See you. Think about what I said.” You say to Zu’té, prompting him to wave goodbye. Neteyam walks you to his tsurak, helping you to get on. You had retired your tsurak for the time being, finding it hard to ride with your back pain. 

“Hey Lo’. Tuk-Tuk.” You say with relief in your voice, finding comfort in the company of your family. 

——

The ash people are impudent to say the least. They follow behind the five na’vi weaving their way through the growing crowd, right on their tails as they try to get a better look at them. They are particularly interested in Jake and Neytiri, seeing the forest people for the first time. But most haven’t even gotten a look at the reef people yet, despite having the agreement with them for so many decades already. 

Some even dare to poke and prod, tugging at their tails and their hair to get a feel or whiff of their scents. Tonowari, Jake, Neytiri and Ralak walk in a formation that allows Ronal to be in the centre, safe guarded from any pointed fingernails or astray noses. Ralak is on edge, but one could never tell by a glance. His appearance is intimidating, a stature so tall he and Tonowari tower over the crowd. 

“I do the talking.” Tonowari says discreetly as they near the entrance of the hut. 

The room is made of some sort of red clay substance, seemingly burnt to a char until it has been hardened into what feels like rock. This one in particular is large, containing smaller sectioned off rooms, partitioned with thick leather curtains. It's all very bleak, rid of liveliness and colour. 

As they enter the hut, two bigger ash na’vi guard the door on either side, blocking and guarding the entrance behind them. Two more ash na’vi lead the group with spears to their backs to a large curtain, and shove them towards it with a few harsh jabs to Jake’s and Ralak’s spines. Jake snaps around, throwing them a dirty look. Whilst Ralak keeps his gaze fixed to his feet. He feels deep in his gut that something isn’t right. 

Whether it be here, or back home. 

With each step he takes, the sense of impending doom only worsens. He has no desire to be here but he recognizes that this is what is necessary. Yet, he can’t help the way he feels. And when he finally raises his head all the pieces link together. It all makes sense. 

Before them are five na’vi in total. Two women and three men. Four ash na’vi and one…reef na’vi. A female, reef na’vi. Her face is unmistakable—unforgettable. It’s been seared into his mind since he was a young boy.

And when Ralak sees it, he almost caves in on himself. His mask of indifference—of intimidation, cracks. Hell, it shatters. Into thousands of pieces, scattered at his feet. Tonowari’s previous right hand. The banished. 

His karyu.

[miraclewoozi]

DRIVE. - l.c

DRIVE -- or, the night you realise it's actually very hard to stay mad at the guy who shows up at your house, throwing stones at your window on a Thursday night, to try and fix something that was your mistake in the first place.

pairing : chan x fem reader. content : fwb > lovers. angst, smut (MINORS DO NOT HAVE MY CONSENT TO INTERACT), fluff. more or less in that order. they’re both dumb as hell. not explicitly put in any detail but this was written with a more 70s vibe in mind so feel free to bear that in mind when thinking of the car/tech/styles etc if u like. w/c : 7.8k warnings : lots of swearing. it’s all a big fuckin misunderstanding because i am a whore for that. weed & alcohol mentioned (neither party is drunk or high at the time of this taking place). mentions of past cheating (neither mc or chan are the cheater). some pov switching because i said so. let me know if i've forgotten anything. proofread exactly once so if there's a typo, no there isn't. SMUT TAGS UTC.  notes : dino. get the fuck off my ass. i’m so serious i am not strong enough to handle the very real feelings i have for you. go away.  notes 2.0 : i listened to halsey’s drive for some inspo for this & took that as the title, so feel free to give it a listen if you want!

SMUT TAGS : dom!chan. car fuckin', making out, hair pulling, grinding/dry humping, fingering, finger sucking, dick riding, marking/scratching, unprotected sex (make good choices), overstimulation, multiple orgasms. praise. chan calls reader ‘baby’ & ‘sweetheart’. he’s a BIG talker during sex (sorry).

You’re not stupid. You heard his car pull up outside your house almost an hour ago. 

Since then, at random intervals ranging anywhere between thirty seconds and five minutes, there have been clinks of a thrown stone at your bedroom window, a piece of the gravel that lines your driveway. Each time, it makes your jaw tense, makes your fingers tighten in the bedsheets you pulled all the way up to your chin in a foul mood at 8pm. It’s been the same now for almost two weeks — you’ve been getting home from work, showering the day away, eating your dinner and retiring to your room as early as you possibly can. Your roommate tried to find out what was wrong around day three but you very promptly shut her down — she’s since learned that the best she’s getting out of you currently is a dismissive wave of your hand or some kind of a grunt. She joked one evening that it was like she’d adopted a teenager; you scowled so violently that she went to her room. 

Hardly any of your other friends have seen anything of you, either, despite the fact that several have come knocking to check if you’re all right. 

You’re very much not all right, as it happens. This is perhaps the most upset you’ve ever felt, and that’s going quite some way. The angriest, too. It’s worse than when that middle aged woman threw her entire bucket of popcorn at your head when you gave her salty instead of sweet, and you were picking kernels out of your hair for the rest of your six hour shift. It’s worse than when your nasty supervisor ‘forgot’ you were in the bathroom and ended up locking you inside the cinema overnight, because you didn’t have your own set of keys to get out and the people whose numbers you remembered weren’t answering their phones. 

It’s somehow even worse than when a summer crush from a few years ago broke things off by telling you that he already had a girlfriend back home and that you were basically just a means to pass the time and get his dick wet. God, and you thought that was the lowest you could possibly be.

Here you are, though, so far beyond all those things it would be comical, if it didn’t hurt. Chan has really done a number on you, and you’re not sure how you ended up getting so emotionally involved in your situationship with him that this is what you’ve been reduced to. For days now, you’ve been swallowing back tears of frustration (both with yourself and with Chan), rolling around in your bed night on night, unable to get to sleep because all you can think about is him.

Him, and the way he sounded genuinely horrified when his friends asked about the ‘movie girl’, and he laughed, ‘God, no – we’re just friends. That’s never gonna happen’. It was impressive, how quickly your face fell, in no way aided by the squealing giggles that rang through the house as a very, very drunk girl came running out of the living room and shut herself in the toilet, drowning out a chunk of the conversation you were listening in on. Somehow, it hurt even more when he went on to say ‘besides, there’s… someone else’. 

And when you have managed to drift off after hours of staring at the walls and the ceiling, hearing those words on a loop on your fed up brain? Of course he’s been in your fucking dreams, too.

In your defence, all you were trying to do was use the mirror in the hallway outside the kitchen he and his friends were standing in, readjusting your top to cover the hickey that he had so kindly left on your collarbone just the night before. It wasn’t as though you sought him out to listen in; it was a coincidence. And okay, fine, maybe you should have walked away when the conversation turned to the topic of Chan’s love life. Maybe you should have not crept closer and held your breath to be able to hear them all better. Maybe, even, you should have stayed around long enough to ask what he meant by it then and there instead of hopping in a taxi and going home without saying goodbye to anyone. 

Hindsight really is a beautiful thing.

Never gonna happen. Well, Chan seemed quite happy to ignore the fact that it already had happened. Several times. At least four of those being in the very car currently on the street outside your home. The car he’s used on countless occasions to drive you up to lovers’ lookouts in the dead of night, letting one of his many mixtapes play through the tinny speakers, where he’d kiss you breathless and cradle your face between his palms, as his fingers would delicately explore beneath your clothes, as his broad shoulders would slot between your thighs, as his hips rol–

And maybe you aren’t stupid, but Chan seems determined to prove that he sure as hell is. He came to pick you up from work the day after the party like nothing had happened, and couldn’t figure out why you said you would rather walk home in the rain than get in with him and stormed away without any further explanation. Then, he showed up on your doorstep on the morning of your day off with your favourite coffee and a breakfast bagel, asking if you could talk. He still didn’t realise what he’d done to upset you, so you slammed the door in his face. Finally, just earlier today, he ran after you in the mall, persistent as you’ve ever known him to be, and laid a hand on your shoulder when you didn’t turn around to just the sound of his voice calling your name. 

You pushed him off so hard he almost fell over. 

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?!” You had barked, shrugging your shoulders to try and realign your jacket. “I don’t want to talk to you. What’s not clicking?”

His face resembled that of a scolded pet when he took a step back and frowned at you. “I just wanted to–”

“I don’t care what you want, Chan,” you spat. “Give it up. I’m done.”

You could see the desperation swimming in his eyes as he scrambled for what to say and your heart felt like it was being weighed down all the way into your stomach. You supposed that was the part of you that was causing all this ache in the first place, and further that it was to blame for your current state of misery. But you steeled yourself and stood your ground nonetheless. He wasn’t going to win you over with puppy eyes and a pout. Not this time.

In his silence, you only then noticed how hard your breaths were coming, each slow and long but still dangerously unsteady. You lowered your voice, top lip curling at him as you muttered, “You’re embarrassed of me enough to lie to your friends? Fine. I don’t give a–… but shit, next time, tell a girl that to her face instead of behind her fucking back.”

It’s been seven hours, and you keep replaying the last thing he said to you as you stormed away (how his voice got quieter when he realised you weren’t turning back; how he sounded so hoarse, so sorry). 

‘I’m sorry if I hurt you - I— I never meant to.’

If. If. If. Were you not making it completely fucking obvious that he had, most definitely, hurt you? Part of your brain is even now starting to go down the route that he’s doing this on purpose, that it’s some twisted sort of damage control, that he hopes maybe if he plays dumb for long enough, you’ll forget what you were mad about or maybe start to second guess what you heard. But if that’s what he thinks, he obviously doesn’t know you very well at all. That’s never going to happen. 

Hell, for someone you were being so careful to keep in the appropriate lane in your head, Chan really has you thinking yourself in circles. You’re sick to your back teeth of him, and his stupid voice and his stupid smile and his stupid –

Clink.

Stupid. Fucking. Stones.

A groan loud enough to definitely catch the attention of your roommate sounds from deep within your chest at this interruption to your spiral and you finally, finally concede. Whatever argument he’s so clearly longing to have at 11 o’clock on a Thursday night? Fine. He can have it. If it means he backs off for good, you’ll give him his one last ruck.

You pull the window open none too gently and lean enough through it that Chan comes into view. He isn’t even looking up, you realise, too busy sifting through the driveway trying to find his next little projectile, and you hiss his name to get his attention. It startles him so much that he drops the indiscernible bundle in his right hand. He blindly scrambles to pick it up, those big, earnest eyes gazing at you as if you’re floating in midair before him.

“What the hell are you doing?!” You ask him, trying not to raise your voice too loud but at the same time, needing to generate enough volume for him to hear. He holds the bundle in both hands, now, and they catch the light of the lamp by your front door. Flowers, you register, squinting to try and make them out, your brows furrowing so much that your forehead hurts. 

Black dahlias.

You choke back a laugh. Ah, the joys of fooling around with the son of a florist. Are they all so damn dramatic? (Or does he just know that they’re your favourites?)

Whichever it is, you tell yourself that’s not going to work. You won’t let it. Through gritted teeth, you say, “go away. I’m serious. I’ll call the cops on you.”

He shakes his head, begging as he steps just a little closer so his face is more visible in the amber light too. “Please–” he hurries, biting his bottom lip. “Please, don’t– just… tell me what I did. I want to make it right. Please.”

He never begs like this. In all the time you’ve known him, you swear Chan has said ‘please’ to you fewer times than you could count on your fingers. Which is by no means a bad thing — that’s just always been the very comfortable nature of your friendship, and later, the -with-benefits tag that you ended up sticking on the end. 

“Why are you doing this?” You ask, pinching the bridge of your nose and fighting not to shiver in the cold nighttime air. Note to self: don’t do a Romeo and Juliet in the middle of the fucking winter without layering up, first. “What does it even matter?”

“What do you mean, what does it matter?” He asks, looking down at the bunch of flowers in his hands, then back at you. “I-... you know I’d never hurt you. Not on purpose. Please, just… if I did something–”

“There’s someone else,” you echo, fed up with his pretending. He’s a fair actor, you’ll give him that – he might even have been able to convince you, if you hadn’t already heard the other half of this tale he’s doing his best to spin in his favour. 

His face screws up, thinking he’s misheard. It’s his turn not to understand now. If you’re telling him you’ve met someone else, he’s got questions, because you’d promised to be open and honest with each other if that ever happened, so that you could call things off and go back to being just friends without it becoming a big deal. That was always supposed to be a calm conversation, not… whatever this is. You talked about it, right at the start. But… those are the words you’re saying, aren’t they? And why would you be mad at him if you were the one whose circumstances had changed? 

“What?” he asks, finally. “What do you mean?”

“God, no – we’re just friends. That’s never gonna happen. Besides, there’s… someone else!” You raise your voice without really meaning to, before swallowing hard and glancing back inside your room. “You said that, Chan. Don’t piss me off by coming here and pretending like you didn’t.”

Chan starts to look like he’s trying to figure out an algebraic equation in his head while only having half the required information; his eyes fall down to the gravel, his lips move without any sound coming out of them, his features tighten until there are definite lines between his eyebrows. Then, it clicks. The lightbulb moment. He slaps one hand to his face and shakes his head furiously, and you just know he’s going to wake up with an ache in his neck tomorrow because of it.

“Oh fuck,” he curses. “No, no, no, no, no – that’s not–”

“What did I just say?” You spit down at him. “Don’t piss me off–”

“Listen!” He shouts, and you gesture with your hand for him to lower his voice, interrupting his flow of thought and rendering him silent for a moment. “Fuck, please. Come down here and talk to me. That’s not what you think it is.”

You’re in every mind to slam your window shut and leave him out there in the cold. It would work if you got out your headphones to drown out the sounds of him trying to get your attention, which you have absolutely no doubt in your mind that he would do. And maybe then he’d get the hint; maybe then he would understand that you’re not just some pushover who he can just pick up and play with when it suits him. 

But he’s still holding those fucking flowers like they’re a lifeline, still looking up at you without a single lick of anger on his face. Not stress at having been discovered, which you would have expected him to be swimming in right about now. He looks… kind of beside himself, as if nothing could possibly be worse than what you’re threatening to do.

All this, for you? It just doesn’t make sense. 

“Please,” he says again, quieter, weaker. For the first time, you pick up on the hint of a shiver in his voice, and you swallow. Whether you’re gulping back your pride, or your resolve, or the last remnants of your sensibility, you don’t know. 

Does he deserve for you to hear him out? You’re not sure.

But does he deserve to be stuck out in the cold in just his stupid leather jacket and a pair of jeans? 

With regret, you think, no. He doesn’t.

All you give him is a scowl before you disappear from view entirely, pulling the window closed and drawing your curtains again. Faster than you think you ever have before, you throw on a sweatshirt over your pyjamas, grab your keys, and hurry down the stairs as silently as you possibly can. 

He’s stood in exactly the same place when you edge outside and pull the door closed behind you. Up-close, you can see the tiredness on his face: this is a man who has exhausted himself in worry, you think, and yet he still smiles a little when he sees you in full. He still holds the flowers out for you to take. He still purses his lips and blows out a stuttered cloud of air. Nervous, and not in the way you think he ought to be. So when you walk straight past him and don’t take the dahlias out of his hands, instead standing by his car and waiting for him to unlock it for you, you start to feel overwhelmingly guilty. 

Chan is many, many… many things. But he really isn’t this good of a performer, no matter what you’ve been telling yourself all week. For God’s sake, why is it so much easier to be angry at him when he’s not standing right in front you?

You slip into his passenger side as he fumbles to set the flowers down on his backseat again, and he joins you up front just a few moments later. His hands are shaking when he sets the keys into the ignition. His whole body is. When you cast a real look over at him, the tips of his fingers are pale and his lips are lacking their usual rosy, pink hue. Your own teeth are chattering despite only having been truly exposed to the cold air for a matter of seconds; you dread to think how frozen he must be.

“Are we driving?” You ask to break the silence. Since he got into the car and fiddled with the heating settings to try and warm things up a little, he hasn’t said a word. It’s awkward. It’s horrible. You already miss the comfortable way you’ve been able to sit for hours together, barely talking, just watching the lights of the city and the cars travelling through it. 

You already miss him. Which is a strange thought, seeing as he’s only about ten inches away. 

“If– if you want,” he says, stuttering through the frost in his lungs. “We can go—...”

“Drive, Chan,” you say. It’s not just because you want him to stop falling over his words – which, to be fair, you do. Chan has always been very confident, carrying himself with the air of someone who knows exactly their worth. It’s one of the things you treasure about him. So this? Is fucking weird. But a big part of it is that you know his car will heat up faster if it’s in motion, and right now, you think maybe he’s at risk of losing a finger or two if he doesn’t get some circulation back.

He steps on the gas and the car pulls away from your home. It’s the first time you’ve ever been in his car without there being some sort of music playing, whether that’s historically just been the radio or a tape he put together with the help of one of his older friends. (The tapes that always had your first initial on them. The tapes that he never failed to ask your opinions on when he dropped you home – as if he’d compiled them with only you in mind.) The silence feels jarring and you can hear every rumble of the engine, every squeal of the brakes he definitely needs to get serviced. 

But the car does warm through, and you sigh out relief as the bones in your hands move a little easier, as your fingers curl and uncurl to less resistance from your taut muscles. Chan feels it, too; his body relaxes, his breaths stop coming out in fractions, his face gets some colour back. The timing feels a little less awful when you finally say, “go on, then.”

Chan glances over at you as he drives down an unlit street. Only for a second, like he’s checking you’re still there, before his eyes train back on the road. He’s going to one of your favourite spots. It isn’t a lookout – it’s somewhere completely shut off from the rest of town, hidden by the trees near the railway tracks, somewhere you’ve never had to worry about being seen or heard. Maybe he’s anticipating a screaming match. Maybe he’s expecting something else. Maybe, even, he just cares about how much you love it there. 

“I didn’t know you heard that conversation,” he starts, sheepishly. You want to roll your eyes, reach over and thump him, ask if that makes what he said okay, but you don’t. You stay looking out the front windscreen too. Waiting. “I… all right. I was out of my ass drunk.”

You click your tongue, pressing it afterwards against the inside of your cheek, but again, you stay quiet.

“I don’t think you heard what you thought you heard, though,” he goes on to say. “‘Cause– ‘cause it wasn’t…”

But you can only be quiet for so long in the face of this mess. Especially when he’s apparently working towards a doctorate in beating around the fucking bush. “I heard you tell your friends that it was never gonna happen with ‘movie girl’.”

Chan’s face brightens, and you can’t help but wonder what on Earth is wrong with this man. Why does he find that funny? Why is his chest moving like he’s trying not to laugh?

“And you… thought you were movie girl,” he says, nodding. “Okay. Okay – shit. I’m sorry.”

You look at him properly, now, as he indicates to the right and takes the turn that leads him down the lane to your spot. “What are you talking about?”

“I get it,” he says. “You work at the–... but you’re not movie girl. Not that movie girl.”

“Stop talking in riddles before I get out of this car, Chan. It’s too late for this shit.”

He holds a hand up as if to apologise and settles back against the head cushion, suddenly looking far more comfortable than he did thirty seconds ago. He clears his throat, running his tongue over his lips, before sucking in a breath and letting himself go on.

“You’re not movie girl,” he says again, successfully clarifying nothing. “There’s this chick I used to dance with — years back, before… God, when we were in school, like, forever ago. She moved away when we were sixteen.” As he talks, he reaches your destination and sets the car into park, before he unfastens his seatbelt and turns to face you. You do the same, shifting your weight to tuck one leg up beneath you, and with your undivided attention, he goes on. “I ran into her recently. She’s back in town now, I guess. It was like, two weeks—?”

“I’m gonna be all-over grey by the time you finish telling this story,” you interrupt, raising an eyebrow. “Can you please give me the short version?”

“Not if you want it to make sense,” Chan shrugs. Begrudgingly, you let him keep talking. “She said it would be cool to hang out, maybe catch a movie or do lunch or something — and look, I didn’t know she was asking me on a date, I thought she was just being nice, y’know? Trying to be friends, but… you weren’t working that day, it was when you had that… that stomach thing going on? And I brought you the soup my mom made, remember?”

You nod; of course you remember. At the time, you wondered why on Earth this grown man’s mother was making you food — you asked yourself whether he’d told her about you, or if she thought it was for someone else. In the end you decided he must have just been bringing you leftovers. But you’d been too worn out to start asking questions; instead, after you’d eaten, you let yourself fall asleep with your head in his lap as he patted your hair and hummed his favourite songs. You hadn’t let yourself think too deeply about it since. 

“Anyway. We were sat watching the movie and she, uh,” he glances down at his lap, tips of his ears burning pink. “She put her hand, sorta, on my thigh? And then I was like, shit, I didn’t read this right, like… at all. So I moved it off and she took the hint — and after it ended I said to her, you know, I was flattered, right? But I wasn’t interested. And then I went home and got that soup and—… yeah.”

He came straight to see you. To look after you. Hell, you didn’t even fool around that night; in retrospect, it was all uncharacteristically domestic. And slowly, the pieces you’ve spent days struggling to fit together start to fall into place. It makes sense. The only question that remains is do you believe him?

Well, tell a lie. 

There is one more. 

“You said there was someone else,” you add quietly. 

You’ll die before you admit it, but this is secretly the part that was hurting you the most. 

You can’t even look him in the eye, right now; your cheeks are burning with the embarrassment of even caring. As much as you want to tell yourself that the only reason you’re pissed is just because of the dishonesty, you can only stare at yourself in the mirror and point-blank lie so many times. Someone else. You hate it. 

Just the thought of him seeing somebody else, taking them out on dates, smiling at them, laughing with them, kissing them the way he kisses you, touching —

A shiver runs the length of you and you cross your arms, thrusting your sleeve-covered hands under your armpits. 

Chan takes a deep breath in and exhales it slowly, like he’s blowing smoke out of his lungs. “There is,” he admits, nodding slowly, avoiding your eyes, too. “There is someone else.”

“When were you going to tell me?” You ask. 

Chan doesn’t respond straight away. You don’t notice, but eventually his eyes do land back at you; it’s only when he clears his throat to get your attention that you look at him long enough to realise he’s quite deliberately staring. His lips are lifted on the right in a lopsided smile, his eyes soft as he reaches across the seats towards you. You stare blankly down at his hand until he wiggles his fingers, and you think briefly that this is the most fucked up ending to a situationship you’ve ever been through. 

You drop one of your hands down and let him hold it, though, staring at his face as his thumb brushes over your knuckles and you wait for him to finally say it out loud. For him to announce that he’s fallen for somebody and that he can’t see you anymore. To put the nail in the coffin. Don’t tell me their name, you think. I don’t want to know anything about them. Please, just don’t.

“For someone so frustratingly smart, you’re really fucking dumb,” Chan says, finally, swallowing around his words and squeezing your fingers. Whatever stoic expression you had forced onto your face at the start of this conversation dissolves into irritation and you snatch your hand away from him again, letting his own fall and collide with a thunk against the handbrake. 

“Oh, sorry that I didn’t realise you were sneaking around behind my back when that’s the one thing we promised we wouldn’t do,” you snap. “God. The only stupid thing I’ve done here is get involved with you in the f—”

“You’re the someone else.”

Oh. 

Oh.

“I’m—?”

“You.”

The admission hangs heavily between you, as does your nonsense, unfinished insult. Neither of you really know what to do with yourselves except sit perfectly still and try to somehow deal with your increasingly dry throats. When Chan moves, it’s only to turn down the heating dial when his cheeks burn a bit too hot; you appreciate it, in part due to the bead of sweat currently running down your back, but you don’t say so. 

“You could have started with that,” you say weakly, wrestling with all your strength to keep even some of your cards close to your chest. It’s not working though. Your attempt to conceal your elation is a bit like throwing a single leaf on top of a bison and calling it camouflage. 

Chan commits to laughing, finally, your sentiment breaking him too. Now, you do crack that smile, albeit mostly just at the sound that comes from him. It’s bright and airy, lighting his whole face up as he drops all the way back and leans against his car door, pushing his fingers through his hair. “I was trying to build to a moment! It’s not my fault you hit every branch of the anti-romantic tree on your way down.”

“I am not anti-romantic,” you scoff in protest. 

“Yes — you are.”

“Am not!”

“Are too.”

“No, you’re just an idiot.”

“Says she who didn’t realise her fuck-buddy had feelings for about six months, Jesus.”

“Chan—” You start, your voice laced with a playful warning. 

“Here I was thinking I was making it completely obvious,” he rambles on. 

“— oh my God, just shut up and kiss me.”

“Dropping hints left and r—” … “Huh?”

He stops short a fraction of a second after you finish, stumped and silent, frozen with everything but a little buffering symbol above his forehead. Kiss me, you said. Chan, […] just shut up and kiss me. All right, you’ve asked him to do that before, but not like this. Not as if you’ll wither away should you not get a taste of his lips this instant. It takes him some time to process it, but he does move in first, eventually. The way he always does, closing the distance between you like he’s been shot out of a cannon, one hand either side of your face, crashing feverishly against your mouth. 

Every now and again, he’ll be happy to let you take charge and set the pace: mostly just if he’s feeling lazy or especially generous. Tonight isn’t one of those times, however. He holds you and kisses you possessively, like you’re his, like this is how he finally gets to lay claim on you, licking between your gasp-parted lips after he moans straight into your mouth. He’s spearmint sweet, edged with that one cherry flavoured chapstick he stockpiles as he grins up against you, rolling his body fluidly with every separation for air, every changing angle. 

He pulls your sweatshirt up over your head and throws it down into the footwell on the passenger side, straight away hurrying to kiss you hungrily again, hands cupping your neck. His tongue is in your mouth once more, there’s no way you could possibly differentiate your breaths from his: you’re one, in every way you can be with your clothes still on, but it’s not enough. 

“Want you,” you whimper as he nips at your bottom lip and pleasure rushes through you from head to toe. 

“You’ve got me,” he groans with his eyes still closed. “I’m all yours.” 

“No,” you insist, whimpering when his cute little nose drags across your cheek until he’s pressing hot kisses to your jawline. “I— fuck—”  He suckles on the sweet spot below your ear and your spine tingles, head tilting to give him better access. “Chan, I want you.”

Chan settles back from you, his usually bright, sparkling eyes now darkened with desire. All he gives you is a singular glance sideways, but you know exactly what he’s suggesting. You nod, breathing deep, biting the inside of your cheek; he turns off the headlights and it’s all systems go. 

There’s a rush to scramble into the back of the car. Chan takes the keys out the ignition and climbs through the gap in the seats; you opt for the less hazardous approach of getting out of the vehicle entirely and re-entering it instead. Not that it bothers him — no sooner is the door closed behind you, Chan’s hands are on your hips and he pulls you on top of him, your leg knocking the dahlias off the leather and onto the floor in the process. You gasp and glance down but he averts your attention with two fingers under your chin, guiding you to look back at him. 

“What? You think this is the last time I’ll bring you flowers?” He asks, capturing your lips as he leans up to you; at the same time, his hands drop low and he starts to slide open the buttons down the front of your pyjama shirt. “Baby, m’gonna get you so many more.” 

You sigh at the affectionate name, at the change in its use; until now, Chan has only called you baby while he’s buried inside you, bruising you inside and out with sharp thrusts and rough-gripping fingers. But as much as you can feel him growing hard against the inside of your thigh while you try to get comfortable, one knee planted either side of his hips, you can’t help but feel as if this time, it means something different. 

(He’s had feelings for six months: it always meant what it does, now. You know that, deep down.)

Somewhere in amongst the never-ending sloppy kisses and constantly travelling hands, you manage to strip both his jacket and T-shirt off him and you’re pressed bare-chest-to-bare-chest with Chan, feeling every little hitch of his breath in his lungs, every thump of his heartbeat, every tiny increase in the temperature of his skin. Your desperate search for friction between your legs has you rolling your hips down against his hard-on, drawing grunts and making him squeeze at your tits when you rock against him the right way. His head eventually drops to your chest and he replaces one hand with his mouth, freeing his fingers to slide down the front of your pyjama bottoms. 

It’s honestly rarer for Chan to get straight to the point than it is for him to tease you a little first, so when he flattens his palm against you and brushes his fingertips over your already aching clit, you let out a squeak of surprise. He shivers, releasing your nipple from between his teeth for a moment; once he’s collected a little more arousal to ease the friction, he continues to rub at the bud, slowly building the pressure inside you.

“No panties?” He asks, struggle clear in the roughness of his voice. 

“I was in bed,” you gasp, eyes rolling back. It’s for the best that it happens out of pleasure, really, because you’re not sure you’d be able to stop yourself rolling them in exasperation at his remark otherwise. You shuffle a little, lifting yourself up on your knees more, breath hitching when he uses the newly granted space to dip his hand lower and press a finger against your hole. “Please, Chan — this can’t be comfy— just…”

“S’fine” he argues, shaking his head, despite the fact that the angle of his wrist is actually kind of painful, right now. The truth is that he can’t bring himself to care: not when he can smell your fabric softener on the shirt still hanging off your shoulders, the shampoo in your freshly washed hair, all so pretty mixed with the damp scent of your desire. Not when you clench around him as he slides his finger in and out of your cunt. Not when he could get you to soak all the way through these pretty satin pants. 

Your arms snake around his neck as he dips a second finger inside you to join the first. The way your thighs tighten around his hips could — should — be embarrassing, the fact his sturdy lap holds you open enough for your pussy to be toyed with even more so. You almost always do this too music, too — for what might be the first time ever, you can hear every single wet sound your body makes, every hitch of your own breath, every grunt he gives even though he’s not the one being pleasured. 

You don’t even realise how you’re rocking up and down against his hand until Chan licks from the base of your neck to your jaw, smirking over your pulse point and says, “gonna ride my cock this good too, baby?”

And if it was anyone else talking to you like this, you would be embarrassed. Mortified, at being so needy you’re here doing all the work for him. At the cry you give as he splits and scissors his fingers to stretch you out. But instead? You feel another rush of arousal drool out of you as you press your nails into his shoulders and nod, bouncing harder and watching how his bicep tenses up solid with the effort of keeping his arm steady for you to use. 

“Wanna,” you gasp. “Want it so bad, Chan—”

Despite your pleas for this to move further, when his hand pulls back out of the elastic of your waistband, you feel like you could throttle him. The urge ebbs away when his soaked fingers press to your lips and he quirks an eyebrow at you, though — you end up suckling them clean, licking up every trace of your own slick. You lock eyes with him as you do, slumping on your thighs so your drenched core sits right over his tweaking length, the seam of your pants giving just enough friction to your clit for it to feel good as you grind down on him again. 

“Get those off,” he instructs, trying to sound hard and dominant. Which would work, perhaps, if his voice didn’t crack in the middle of the sentence. “Now.”

Even though you’re overcome with a need to tease him, the desire you have to be split open on his length outweighs it, so you do as you’re told and hold it in for later. It’s not easy, but you manage to manipulate yourself in his lap to work the satin down your thighs and past your knees. He helps you tug them the rest of the way past your ankles and feet, shoves them onto the floor — Chan’s hands settle back on your hips and yours skim down his stomach at the same time, fingers grazing over the little hairs that trail from his bellybutton down into his jeans. 

“Can I?” You ask, playing already with his belt buckle. 

He hums assent and you slip it all the way open, tugging as he moves his hips underneath you so you can pull it free from the loops. Between you, you manage to get his jeans unfastened, to pull both them and his boxer shorts down over his ass and to his knees; finally, fucking finally, his cock sits pretty and leaking and free between your stomach and his. It’s getting cold in the car now the heating isn’t on, but you’re already burning up in anticipation for him to ruin you; the way his abs ripple as he takes his shaft into his hand and strokes himself a couple of times to prepare tells you he’s in the same boat. 

It’s like clockwork, from here. You shift into position as easily as you settle into bed after a long day. Chan rubs his tip through your folds, feels the warmth of you and hisses through his teeth with fluttering eyes. Just like always. This never changes. He can’t ever get enough of that first feeling of his cock against your pussy: it’s like the first hit of a blunt, like the first sip of a cold beer, the first full-body stretch early in the morning. He’s sure it’s what arriving at the gates of heaven must feel like. 

You sink down onto him slowly, fluttering around his tip and stilling to give you both a moment to get used to the feeling. He’s thick inside you. Thicker than his pretty, dainty fingers have ever been able to stretch you enough for. Even as wet as you are, you still need to suck a deep breath into your lungs before you can relax your hips further and let your heat swallow him all the way to his base. 

Chan’s head is tipped back in pleasure, he’s biting his lip at the sting of your nails pressing hard into the back of his neck. He loves it, though — loves how the pain shoots in waves down his spine, how it tingles in his brain, how he knows you need to anchor yourself this way or you’ll lose control. He kneads at your ass as you sit against his thighs, listening to you whimpering at how deep he is inside you.

“So fucking tight around me still,” Chan groans, focusing all his willpower into keeping his hips down on the leather beneath him. “Shit, baby — you feel so good…” His neck softens and his head drops forward again as you start to move, rising and falling over and over. He kisses your throat and down to your collarbones while you work up to a rhythm, sliding his palms up your back, hugging you close to him. 

He isn’t even the one putting in the hard work, but within minutes of this, his soft, fluffy hair clings to his forehead. A light sheen of sweat makes him radiant under the moonlight breaking through the trees. He’s breathing heavily, the top of his toned chest painted a soft pink — you don’t think he could possibly look prettier. Not until he cups your jaw with his hands and you look upwards: you land on his smiling face, those plush, swollen lips, his devilish but sweetly glittering eyes. The sight of him, looking at you like you’re some kind of Goddess, makes your pussy tighten and your tiring hips stutter. You slip your pyjama top all the way off your arms and curl your fingers into his hair, meeting him in an open-mouthed kiss, through which you’re both just beaming. 

You’ve never kissed him this much. When it all started out, you sort of had a rule against it, but now? Neither of you can stop. As he starts to fuck up into you, taking the reins and letting your burning thighs rest, he keeps your face steady with his hands and freely allows his lips to slide against yours. It’s not refined. It can’t be. Not with how hard and fast his movements quickly become, not with the onslaught of curses and moans and babbled praise coming from the both of you. One particularly sharp thrust makes you yelp out a squeak of his name and he just swallows it down, making a point to keep aiming for— and hitting— that same spot inside you. You’re a mess. 

He could do this all night. When your orgasm bubbles inside you and he starts pinching at one of your nipples, sending you over the edge, he’s nowhere near finished. Even though your cunt massages at his length, throbbing and pulsing through your climax; even though your voice is so high by now that only dogs can hear you; even though you nearly collapse on top of him with almost all your weight in his lap, and he has to work twice as hard to keep this going, he barely slows. He definitely doesn’t stop. 

“You can gimme one more, right sweetheart?” He asks, grunting into your neck. “Always feels so fucking good when you come.” You choke up an ‘mhm’, to which he responds by slipping a hand between your bodies and down to where you’re connected. His thumb presses against your clit again — not moving, just applying enough pressure to make you stutter when you say his name. 

Your thighs are still twitching when you try to lift yourself a little, try to meet his movements as he chases his orgasm too. The “problem” with Chan is that his stamina is otherworldly. You couldn’t keep up if you wanted to. 

“Relax,” he says, tensing his jaw, doing the opposite himself. “Fuck — lie down.”

It’s pretty cramped and hard to move, but you lift yourself off him and only slightly lament at the sudden emptiness between your legs. There isn’t time to get too upset, however: moments after you get comfortable on your back, Chan shoves his jeans the rest of the way down and stands with one knee planted on the seats, lifting one of your ankles up to rest it on his shoulder. He slips back inside you easily then, gripping around your calf to keep you both steady. From the word go, his pace is relentless. You scrabble around for something to hold onto but the entire car seems to melt away; you ball your hands into fists at your sides instead, your eyes squeezed tightly shut. 

“Mm-mm. Look at me,” Chan hums, tightening his grip on your leg. “Wanna see those pretty eyes.” 

You obey, opening your lids to look up at him while he pounds into you hard enough to make the car shake. Over, and over, and over, and over. Rougher. Faster. For how long? Who even knows. All you’re truly aware of is how good it feels. How the windows grow foggy with the  steam of your laboured breaths. How his sweat mingles with your own. 

When his fingers on the other hand get reacquainted with your clit, when he bites down on his bottom lip, when his thrusts start to get messier and more erratic and the veins in his arms start to bulge out, you know he’s getting close. He doesn’t need to tell you out loud. The smirk he wears speaks for itself. 

“Where d’you want it, baby?” He asks you, pressing a kiss to the inside of your ankle. 

“In— mmh, in-…side me—” you stammer, hips jolting as you near your second orgasm to match his first. “Please, Chan — want it all…”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah—”

Well, he must’ve been holding himself back something spectacular, because a few thrusts later you watch all of his muscles contract as he tips over the edge, and you go hurtling with him. It’s all so much. All your nerve endings feel like they’re on fire and your vision starts to blur at the edges; it’s not long before you have to close your eyes to shut one of your overworked senses out, completely. Your muscles are sore. Your throat hurts. Even your lungs ache. 

God, he hasn’t gone that hard in so long, you don’t know what to do with yourself. You can barely speak — it’s going to take you a week to recover from this, minimum. 

He stills deep inside you, feeling his cock throb with the last pumps of his release. Your leg slips off his shoulder and your foot lands down with a thud onto the car’s (thankfully clean) floor; he bends forward to kiss you, still breathing heavily against your lips. You’ve come over completely boneless and reaching up to thread your fingers into his hair again feels like running a marathon at sprint pace. You’d fall asleep right here, right now, if you could, but with sweat cooling rapidly against your skin, you know that’s probably not up there as one of your finest ideas. 

“You really think getting involved with me was stupid?” Chan asks, nudging your nose with the tip of his own. He’s never been less serious than this in his entire life, which stops you feeling too bad when you lightly slap at his rock solid chest and try to push him off you.

“Yes,” you lie, attempting to reach to the ground for your pyjama shirt while he grips your chin and attacks you with tiny little pecks all over your face. “Stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

(Chan chuckles to himself and thinks that he’s quite happy to be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, really. He can stay that way, as long as you promise never to stop.)

thank you so much for reading. i hope you enjoyed it - likes, feedback, comments, reblogs are all so appreciated.<3

[ahonice]

just friends

nico hischier x fem reader

word count: 10.9k (the longest fic i’ve ever written i’m so sorry)

warnings: unplanned pregnancy and mentions of unprotected sex, cursing, the word climax, a little angsty, if i forgot anything lmk.

note: i started this on september 1st, this actually took forever. ANYWAYS hope y’all enjoy lmk if you love it, if you hate it, any feedback in general is appreciated!! love y’all babes <3

+++

it was an accident.

you and nico had been in a casual friends with benefits relationship for about a year and a half, having known each other for three years in total, when it happened.

you and nico were being stupid one night. after a few too many drinks, and no condoms to be found anywhere in your apartment, you and nico fucked without protection. 

you were on birth control and nico had pulled out, well he did halfway through his climax.

you didn’t think anything when you didn’t get your period the following month or the two months after that, you hadn’t had a period in four years thanks to your birth control. 

for weeks you thought you were just bloated, maybe you had been eating too much lately. you were much hungrier these past couple of weeks, it made sense.

it wasn’t until you threw up eleven times in one week before ten in the morning that you grew suspicious and worried at the possibility of you being pregnant. 

you stopped by the drug store on your way home from work and panic bought nine different pregnancy tests. 

you drank seven things of water during the day and took no bathroom breaks in preparation for this moment, and you had never been so scared to get test results back.

positive. every single one of them.

you felt faint, like the walls of your tiny studio apartment were caving in on you. 

you couldn’t have a baby, you couldn’t be a mother, it just couldn’t happen.

+++

the first thing you had to do was tell nico.

you and nico weren’t exclusive, and while he probably has his fair share of hookups, you did not. he was the only possible candidate for the father. 

nico was currently three days into an eight day road trip, and as much as you wanted to just get it over with, you knew this is not the type of bombshell to be dropped via snapchat or imessage, considering you two only used imessage to play game pigeon and the nature of your saved snaps was not welcome to an “i’m pregnant and you’re the father” chat.

you decided to just text him that you needed to talk when he got back.

to: nico (hookup)

hey lmk when you’re back in newark, we need to talk.

from: nico (hookup)

oh? 

from: nico (hookup)

everything okay?

to: nico (hookup)

not quite sure yet.

+++

five days later you found yourself at nico’s door, nine positive pregnancy tests in a ziploc bag in your purse. you were shaking, you don’t think you had ever been this nervous in your entire life.

nico opened up the door with a wide smile. you didn’t know what face you were making, but it was enough to make nico’s face fall and worry come through his tone of voice.

“y/n? what’s wrong?”

you didn’t even register his words, you just moved past him into his apartment and sat down on his couch.

“y/n?”

“i’m pregnant.”

the words fell out of your mouth before you could stop them.

nico sat there frozen on the loveseat as you pulled the pregnancy tests out of your purse.

around three minutes later you pulled your phone out and opened up some home makeover game, nico was still frozen.

“-oh and you’re the father but you probably already know that.”

+++

it was around four minutes later when nico finally opened up his mouth to speak.

“what are you going to do?”

his question made me a little angry, yes he wasn’t entirely at fault, but he could’ve at least taken

a little responsibility and said “we” instead of “you”.

“i don’t know yet, i have an appointment with an obgyn on saturday. i’ll learn about my options there.”

“what time?” nico asked, opening up his phone calendar.

“10:30.” you knew that nico had practice at that time because it was a game day. “you have practice, i’ll just let you know what i decide to do.”

“this is my child too, i want to be a part of the decision making.”

“well you’re not going to be the one taking care of them, i am.”

“what makes you think that? i mean obviously i will be on the road at times during the season, but when we’re on homestands and since we’ll be married we’ll have the off season together-”

“woah take a girl out to dinner before you propose nico.” you interrupted. “we aren’t getting married…” “we’ve done a whole lot more than just dinner, and yes we are? how are we supposed to raise this baby together if we aren’t together.”

“have you ever heard of co-parenting? -also who says i’m keeping it, i haven’t made my decision yet.” you get up from your spot on his couch. “look i have to go, i’ll tell you about my appointment tomorrow.”

nico let out a heavy sigh. “don’t make any decisions without me.”

+++

“y/n?” 

you looked up at the nurse who was holding the door open with their body and walked up to greet her, your knees slightly wobbling from the nerves running through you.

“please follow me into room two, i’m just gonna get your vitals.”

you stayed silent as she took your blood pressure and checked your reflexes, you had to take a moment to calm yourself down after you saw your weight, you had freaked out before you remembered that there was currently another being inside of you.

“alright your vitals look good.” the nurse spoke before exiting the room. “follow me into this room, you can go ahead and take a seat on the bed in the center of the room. the doctor should be in shortly.”

you nodded and thanked her before she exited and you took a look around the room, taking a few mirror selfies to send to the family group chat. you had told all of your immediate relatives over facetime on your way back from nico’s yesterday, the news was received better than you had planned so you couldn’t say anything about your mom’s comments on being a grandmother, she made it very clear she was on team “keep the baby and be a badass single mom in the city”.

you sat on the bed/chair thing, ripping the paper instantly as you tried to get comfortable.

you took your eyes off your phone as you heard a series of knocks.

“miss y/n?”

“yes, that’s me.”

“hi, i’m dr.swarn i’ll be assisting you today. is this your first ultrasound?” the middle aged woman asked.

“yes it is.”

“and do you know how far along you are?”

“i’m assuming three to four months…i just found out yesterday…”

“well we will find out today.” the doctor began getting the sonograph ready as you attempted to mentally prepare yourself. “-and i have to ask…the father, is he in the picture?”

“he is, but it’s complicated…we aren’t together.”

the doctor simply nodded before asking you to lift up your shirt and warning you that the gel might be cold.

after a few moments, a grainy black and white image showed up on the screen, dr. swarn pointing things out. “-and this is your baby! it is a couple weeks too early to figure out the gender, so i would estimate that you are about four months pregnant.” 

you didn’t really focus on anything she said though, all your attention was on that tiny blob.

“do you want to hear the heartbeat?”

as dr.swarn began to turn up the volume the door swung open.

a very out of breath and sweaty nico stood in the door frame, bent over catching his breath.

“sorry i’m late!” nico walked up towards where you were lying on the table and smiled up at the doctor. “i’m the father.”

dr.swarn smiled at him before speaking. “well you made it just in time, we were just about to listen to the heartbeat.”

she had the screen turned towards her so nico had yet to see the baby. “this is your baby-” dr.swarn turned the screen back towards you and nico. “and this is their heartbeat.”

it was like everything around you had disappeared and all you knew was the image of your baby and the sound of their heartbeat. nico grabbed your hand and effectively pulled you out of the trance you were in.

“would you like me to discuss your options with you?” dr.swarn asked, turning the heartbeat down.

“no, i’m keeping it.”

+++

you got a recording of the heartbeat and got a couple prints of the ultrasound before exiting the doctors office, nico getting the same things as you.

“so you’re actually gonna keep it?” nico asked once he had walked you to your car.

“yes i am, and i don’t expect you to be involved at all if you don’t want to…i can do this on my own.”

“well you won’t have to.” nico started. “move into my apartment.”

you sighed, but nico spoke again before you could. “look we don’t have to get married right away, just move in…we will see how things go from there.”

“nico- i’m not moving in with you, i am perfectly fine living in my apartment and so is the baby.” you didn’t mean for your tone to come off so harsh, well you did a little bit, but you didn’t want nico thinking that you would be getting together just because of your child together. “look nico, i know that you believe that to raise a child the mother and father need to be together but i don’t and i don’t want to be with someone just because people think we have to. i will not be having a shotgun wedding.”

“what is a shotgun wedding?”

“-it does matter. we are not getting together nico.” you got into the driver's seat of your car. “i don’t really know how this co-parenting shit works, and i’m assuming you don’t either so let’s just make sure to be patient with one another, okay?”

nico nodded before you said your goodbyes and drove off in the direction of your apartment.

+++

around two weeks later as you sat in your little cubicle your phone started ringing.

nico (hookup)

you sighed and saved the progress on your current project before picking up the phone.

“hello?”

“hey, are you home right now?”

“no, it’s two in the afternoon on a thursday. i’m at work.”

“oh i didn’t think you would work while pregnant…” “i need to fund this child’s life somehow.”

there was an awkward silence for a few moments before you spoke up again.

“did you need something nico?”

“well i called to ask if you would like to come over for dinner tonight.”

“what are you making? because i don’t mean to sound rude, but this child doesn’t like anything i cook and you’re much worse than me.”

“hey i’m not that bad!” you both chuckle before nico speaks again. “is there anything you’re craving right now?”

“jiggly cheesecake and that gouda mac n cheese with sausage i got when we went to new york two years ago.”

“okay i can’t make any of that.”

“just make whatever you want, i’ll force it down if the baby doesn’t like it. what time should i come over?”

“5:30?”

“okay, i’ll just come straight from work.”

you said your goodbyes before you go back to your work.

+++ 

once the clock struck 4:45 you called it a day and headed out to your car before driving to nico’s apartment.

you knocked on the door, a tad bit confused because you heard multiple voices on the other side of the door, if it wasn’t for the welcome mat on the outside that you had forced nico to get you would’ve thought you were at the wrong door.

“hey.” nico opened the door, the voices only getting louder.

“hey…are other people joining us…?” you asked, looking around his apartment confused.

“yeah i probably should've mentioned-”

nico had begun to speak, but a voice that you knew as nico’s mother. “is y/n here!?” soon you saw her smiling faces coming towards you with open arms. “oh come here, it’s been too long sweetie!”

god bless your work bag that seemed to span to five feet because it was hiding your baby bump that was very noticeable in your blouse.

“hello mrs.hischier, how are you?” you asked politely, but you were really wanting to strangle nico right now.

“i’m great! luca and nina are here too!”

“oh that’s great! i’ll go see them in a second, i just need to talk to nico really quickly.”

you smiled as she walked away before turning to nico and gave him a swift slap on the backside of his head. “are you crazy!? did you just ambush a pregnancy announcement on me!?”

“look, i know this probably wasn’t the best way to approach this, but my family needs to know.”

“i am fully aware of that, but this is something that you plan out, not something you spring on a pregnant woman!”

“i’m sorry! just- let’s go into the living room, nina really misses you.”

you had met nico’s family multiple times before and were especially close with his sister nina, she was the only one who knew of you and nico’s odd relationship and was the number one supporter of you two getting together.

you walked out, your work bag still covering yourself as you greeted luca and nina, the later giving you a look that only made you nervous.

you made small talk with the family before nico announced that dinner was ready. thankfully nico had brought your plate to you, both you and the fetus were happy with the look and smell of the fettuccine alfredo, with sausage, that nico had made. “thank you.”

as much as you didn’t want to, you had to set your work bag that had been used as a bump shield on the floor to eat, you just hoped everyone was too distracted by the food in front of them to notice.

“so what was the news that you had to share? i assume it has to do with y/n?” mrs.hischier spoke excitedly, it was obvious she was hoping that you and nico had started dating.

“y/n is pregnant and i’m the father and we are keeping it, but we are not together.” nico spoke quickly, his head down as if he was a child being scolded.

“oh…” 

it wasn’t the worst reaction that could’ve happened, but it definitely wasn’t the best one, but how good of a reaction could one get after they tell their mother they got their fuck buddy pregnant.

“we’re figuring this all out as we go, but i am very sorry mrs.hischier i understand this isn’t how one would usually want their son to become a father.” you apologized, your head was also down.

“i’m not angry, just shocked and a little bit disappointed in you nico…but everything happens for a reason so i fully support you two.” you and nico let out identical sighs as his mother revealed that she was not going to disown either of us.

+++

the rest of dinner went great, you even made plans for both yours and nico’s family to get together for a small gender reveal brunch before the hischier’s headed back to switzerland.

nina had called dibs on walking you out so you prepared yourself for the question you knew she was going to ask.

“are you absolutely, one hundred percent, serious when you say that you and nico are not together in any way, whatsoever, romantically?” nina asks, using too many synonyms for the word definitely.

“yes i am absolutely, one hundred percent, serious when i say that me and nico are not together in any way, whatsoever, romantically.” you reply, mocking her words.

she doesn’t seem too pleased by your answer and whines. “why? i want a sister and you are the only person i like, in general.”

“that is very sweet nina, but me and nico don’t like each other in that way. we’ve been…boinking for almost two years now. if either of us had feelings, i guarantee they would have been confessed by now and we probably would not be expecting a child out of wedlock in five months.”

nina let out an exaggerated sigh as you neared your car. 

“me and nico are just friends, okay?” you spoke, getting into the driver’s seat. 

“yeah friends who happen to boink on a weekly basis and are now expecting a child together.”

“i’ll see you at brunch on sunday nina.” 

+++

“i’m team boy and girl!”

“mom i already told you we aren’t having twins.” 

the sunday morning activities were supposed to be fun, and they were, but they were causing you a shit load of stress. 

it seemed like everything nico was doing was aggravating you, and when nico and your little brother were in the same room it was a recipe for disaster. plus your mother wasn’t any help, she teamed up with nico’s mother and kept pressuring you to at least move in with nico, who you believe put them up to it.

“okay let’s just get this over with!” you yelled out, just wanting to figure out the gender so you could go home and have some much needed alone time.

nico came up next to you holding the envelope that contained the gender. “you ready mommy?”

“ew, don’t call me that.”

everyone had their phones out and began counting down as nico opened up the envelope.

“it’s a…GIRL!”

everyone’s cheers only furthered your headache, but you gave nico a smile and side hug before going over to your mother who ecstatically hugged you.

“a baby girl! i’m so happy for you y/n, my first grandbaby!”

you quickly said your goodbyes, not bothering to eat any of the food that was made or open any of the gifts that were brought.

were you being a rude, ungrateful, bitch for no reason? yes. but you were too exhausted to care or feel bad about nico’s constant dejected looks on his face throughout the morning.

+++

the second you got home you passed out on the floor of your apartment , god bless the pregnancy pillow your mother had delivered to you because you had a weird thing for sleeping on hardwood floors. 

you woke up at three in the afternoon to a series of knocks at your door. you took a while to get up and once you did you regretted it because you saw nico looking very angry through the peephole. 

you grabbed a sharpie and a sheet of paper towel and wrote the words “GO AWAY” in a very bold font before slipping it under the door.

the knocking silenced for a moment before it got louder, along with a call of your name.

“y/n. open the fucking door.” nico was seething.

you opened up the door. “what? i was sleeping.” you pointed to the pillow and blanket on the floor of your kitchen.

“on the floor?”

“yes- what do you need nico?”

“you left the party so quickly that you didn’t even get to open up your gifts, or acknowledge them.” nico gestured to the large bag of wrapped gifts that sat at his feet. “you actually left the party so early that the food wasn’t even served before you had said your goodbyes, which by the way thanks for not saying goodbye to me and thanks so much for the fake smile and side hug you gave me after we found out the gender of our child. that’s gonna be a real joy to look back on.”

you felt your headache coming back, you were starting to believe the sole cause was nico.

“seriously what was your problem this morning?” nico asked after a few moments of silence.

“my problem was that i didn’t even want this baby in the first place and i know for a fact i’m not going to be a good mother, and you! nico you are my problem, everything you did this morning seemed to piss me off and it’s probably just the pregnancy hormones making me easily irritable, but you were getting on my fucking nerves by breathing this morning.” 

nico kicked the bag of gifts into your apartment in a fit. “well i’ll stop bothering you then.”

you knew you should’ve been a rational adult and went after him, but you weren’t, so you slammed the door and brought all the gifts to the living room so you could open them.

you smiled as you realized that all of the gifts were for you. your favorite candies and snacks, maternity clothes, and some prenatal care items that you probably should’ve started taking the second you found out you were pregnant, with the exception of one gift. it was from nico, you could tell by the poor wrapping job, you had been the one to wrap all of his christmas gifts ever since you met him except your own of course, those he always wrapped himself and they were a nightmare.

once you got his present unwrapped you found a boat load of mini devils gear. bibs, socks, a onesie, even a pair of noise canceling headphones. at the bottom of the box you found a very tiny devil’s jersey with the number thirteen on the back and a big patched “C” on the front. you teared up once you saw the big patched “DADDY” above the thirteen on the back and a matching bow headband with a small note. i’m writing this before the reveal and i know we don’t know the sex yet, but i’m hoping for a girl and i know you are too. i hope the headband is a little good luck charm that baby girl judith is on the way. - nico.

you teared up at the note, especially at nico remembering the name you’ve always wanted to name your first daughter.

you quickly called nico, tears streaming down your face and nose all stuffy.

“hello?”

“come back up…please.”

“on my way.”

+++

you stood by the door waiting for nico to knock and once he did you immediately opened the door and nearly tackled him from the hug you gave him.

“i’m sorry.” you mumbled, still crying.

“i know, it’s okay.”

you walked into your apartment and sat on your couch next to nico. “you remembered my baby names.”

“how could i forget them?” nico stated.

“what would you have done if it was baby boy gannon instead of judith?” you asked, turning your head that was leaned on his shoulder up to look at him.

“turn the headband into a bowtie…?”

you laughed at him before your stomach growled loudly.

“what are you in the mood for?” nico asked immediately.

“canes, but that’s in the city and i don’t wanna make you go to new york.” 

nico stood up after hearing your restaurant of choice. “c’mon, i’ll drive.”

+++

“how is it?”

“this is sex in a chicken tender nico, thank you for taking me here.”

nico laughed at your response before the both of you continued to eat a comfortable silence.

“hey tell your family that i’m sorry for how i was acting this morning, i am super grateful for them helping plan the reveal and to delay their flight to attend.”

“don’t worry, they understand that pregnancy emotions can be a lot, but i will still let them know.” nico said, making a mental note to text the family group chat.

“their gifts were very thoughtful too, how did nina know i like black licorice?”

“oh i let them know all your favorite things, that wasn’t alcohol.” nico shrugged as if it was no big deal.

you took a moment to process his answer, it wasn’t that weird for nico to know all of your favorite snacks and desserts, that’s what friends do…right?

+++

to: nico (hookup)

i have my sixth month checkup tomorrow at 10am, would you like to join?

from: nico (hookup)

yeah, do you wanna meet there or drive together?

to: nico (hookup)

could we drive together? 

from: nico (hookup)

of course, i’ll pick you up at 9:30, we’ll stop by mcdonalds for breakfast. i know you love their sausage muffins.

you hadn’t seen nico since the day of the gender reveal party and when you went into the city together to get canes. of course you stayed in contact, but it was hard with both of your work schedules that often collided. 

the next day nico was knocking on your door right at nine thirty in the morning, and you were still passed out. the pregnancy pillow and weighted blanket combo was not being your friend right now, though it was at 5am when the gremlin in your womb wouldn’t stop kicking. which she did for the first time earlier that day.

after about five minutes of nico knocking on your door with no response he began to fully panic, had you fallen down and couldn’t get up? were you dead in your bed? did you forget he was picking you up? so many things could’ve happened to you.

after a few moments of contemplating, nico decided that his only option was to break the door down. he began backing up a few steps and then running full force into your door, it took about seven tries for the door to fall to the ground.

the sound of the first impact of nico’s body was enough to wake you up. at the second impact you became aware of your surroundings, and at the third you thought someone was trying to break into your apartment.

you grabbed the closet weapon you could find, a meat pounder that you left on your kitchen counter last night, and got in position, ready to attack the person on the other side of the door.

once the door fell to the ground and the body fell on top of it, you got ready to swing.

“y/n!? are you alive!?”

“AHHH- nico!?” you froze your movements, the pounder hanging right above your head. “what are you doing here!?”

nico was still on the ground, also frozen as he tried to catch his breath. “ultrasound.”

you dropped your hands to your side as an ohhh played in your head. “i’m sorry i completely forgot. just give me a few moments and then we can leave.”

you turned around to enter your room before you froze and turned back around.

“i don’t have a front door…”

“i’ll text jack to come over and watch over the place and reattach it while we’re gone, the kid needs something to do this morning anyways.” nico said while pulling out his phone.

“does he know?”

“no, but he will…i’ve been meaning to ask you about telling the team anyways.”

“we can talk about it later , i need to get ready.”

you quickly got dressed, sporting a tight tank top, tight leggings, and a tight zip up. all tight because this baby had you gaining five pounds a minute. you huffed and puffed trying to get the tank top on. eventually you got it over your bump, but it was rising up and you were spilling out of it in too many places. deciding to just embrace the bummy look you threw on uggs, didn’t bother to put your contacts in, and left your hair in the rat's nest bun you’ve been wearing for the past five days since you were told to take a break from work by your boss, of course you had to faint in front of her.

“nico i need to get maternity clothes, i’m pretty sure these tanktop strings will snap if i raise my arm and don’t get me started on these leggings.”

“you’re huge…” 

“thanks nico, you’re really helping out right now.” you joked, but deep down you were upset. you don’t tell a pregnant woman she is huge, especially if it’s your baby. “let’s go, we can’t be late.”

“jack is almost here, babe.” the nickname slipped out before nico could even process what he was saying.

“uhm…”

“yo nico what’s up…where is y/n’s door.” jack said while walking into your apartment.

“you’re standing on it.” you spoke. jack’s eye’s wandered to you and then to your belly, and then they got really wide. “hi jacklyn.”

“oh shit.”

“we can talk about this later, but me and nico really have to go because we’re already running late.”

you and nico quickly walked out, the later telling jack that you had a toolbox under your sink and to “go crazy.” 

“no mcdonalds then huh?” nico asked as you got into his car.

“no, but i’ll be fine.”

+++

you weren’t fine.

you quickly got hangry and so did judith, nico seemed to be your punching for just about everything and even though he said he was fine, you could tell you hit home when you told him he needed to wax his eyebrows.

dr.swarn was completely fine with you guys being ten minutes late because she didn’t have anyone scheduled after you. the appointment went great except judith didn’t want to kick when nico felt your stomach, and of course nico’s hands were all dry and calloused which you hated feeling on your skin, and then after the ultrasound was over you guys rushed to mcdonalds because nico was determined to get you a damn sausage muffin, but of course you were two minutes past the cutoff for lunch and the teenager taking your order wouldn’t budge and you had to pretend like the cheeseburger didn’t come back up the second you got into the restroom. all you wanted to do is go home and be alone…and eat jalapeno poppers…and mozzarella sticks…

nico stopped at target to get what you wanted, and mac n cheese bites because he knew you’d love them.

you were pleasantly surprised when you arrived home to your door back on. luckily it had just separated itself from the hinges when nico tackled it to the ground, so it was an easy fix for jack.

once you stepped inside, nico quickly got to work, placing large portions of everything he bought in your airfryer. nico said it was crazy to buy a twenty size quart size air fryer and that you would never use it, but here he was being proven wrong.

you quickly changed out of the leggings and jacket, leaving the tank top on because you knew it would be just as much of a workout to get it off as it was to get it on and you threw on nico’s heart boxers he swears he wore as a joke, but you knew he picked them out at the store being one hundred percent serious.

“you two kids come sit down.” jack spoke loudly, as if he was your father.

“jack we are both older than you.” nico spoke sitting down in the spot next to you on your couch.

“doesn’t matter. you’re pregnant?”

you both nodded as jack pointed to you.

“-and you’re the father?”

you both nodded as jack pointed to nico.

“and you’re keeping it together as…”

“friends, just friends.”

“friends don’t have babies together.” jack gave you a skeptical look.

“they do now.” you stood up. “goodbye jack.”

+++

“i think it’s best if you two move in together, for both your safety y/n, and the babies.”

dr.swarn spoke before leaving you and nico in the room alone,

you were now seven months pregnant and you were constantly fainting, your boss had stopped allowing you to come into work and told you that you “needed rest” so you met her halfway and you now work from home.

nico was over one night after a game when he walked in on you passed out on the kitchen floor, but this time it wasn’t on purpose. he immediately began staying the night on your couch to make sure you were alright and as soon as you could he got you into dr.swarn’s office.

“i’m taking you home and we’re packing you up. i’ll text jack to come over with luke.” nico said as you exited the obgyn. 

“you know i can help right? judith is fine-”

“-but you’re not fine! you told dr.swarn that you’ve been fainting since even before you got pregnant, and i didn’t know. why didn’t you tell me about all this?” nico interrupted you, obviously upset.

“because it’s not important!” you snapped back. “it doesn’t affect judith in anyway, so i don’t understand you’re so worried.”

“it’s important because it affects you. i am worried about you, and i’m allowed to be. now there is no more arguments, you will be moving in with me and ending your lease at your current place.”

“nico-”

“no, that is final.”

+++

for the rest of the day you sat and watched tv while the two hughes and nico packed up your apartment until they had to pack your tv, which you insisted they did last.

“the truck is all loaded up, we’re gonna drive it over to nico’s and he is going to drive you in your car.” jack spoke as you approached where the truck was parked on the side of the street.

you nodded as nico helped you into the car. you hated admitting it, but you were much larger than you were expecting to be at this time in your pregnancy. 

+++

once you had made it to nico’s apartment you did the same thing you were doing before while the boys unpacked your stuff into the second bedroom, absolutely nothing.

you got up and waddled over to where the guys were all watching luke struggle to get the fitted sheet on your bed.

“can i please do something? anything?” you begged.

“yeah, go out and use my laptop to create a list of things you want as gifts at the baby shower, a registry because i know you want specific things for judith.” nico answered your begging.

“baby shower? i’m having a baby shower?” you had not been informed of this.

“yeah, all the guys on the team and their partners are gonna come, so are your friends and family, mine is coming too.” nico spoke like it was no big deal. 

nico had told the guys about three weeks ago because they saw the ultrasound in his locker. which in response had you getting multiple text messages from some of the girls all sounding very similar to “i thought y’all were just friends?” 

“when is this?” you asked, knowing you would need to get an outfit ready.

“next saturday, we have no game.” nico replied simply

“that’s in a week!” you shrieked, when you went maternity clothes shopping that did not involve any dresses.

“yeah, so you better get working on that list.”

+++

it only took you ten minutes to make the list because all you had to do was transfer it from a google doc, where it was already made but just titled as your shopping list, to a spreadsheet where people could claim a gift to give you, nico, and the baby.

it was a list with the basics. a stroller, breast pump, car seat (preferably one that went with the stroller), bed sheets, clothes, the essentials to keep a newborn alive, but you also had other things like decor for the nursery toys, and this bedside bassinet that your mother had been raving about since she saw it on facebook. you thanked god that your new room had a walk-in closet because that was going to be judith’s room. you weren’t even sure it was a closet because it was completely empty, no shelves or rods to hang anything on, it was more of a very small room, but it worked out better for you so you couldn’t complain.

you quickly went back to where the boys were, silently screaming as they made your bed completely wrong.

“please, oh please for the love of god, let me make my bed.” you begged nico, genuinely astonished that they had managed to put your pillows in the wrong order and put your comforter on inside out.

“i thought i told you to make your list?” nico said.

“i already finished. it was easy.” you said as you began stripping your bed of everything on it. “i just put down everything i already had on my shopping list…and then some because i know my friends are gonna wanna get me multiple things.”

you made sure to stare jack down as you put your comforter on the correct way before you placed your pillows in the correct order as well as the blankets at the end of your bed.

nico was quick to rush you back into the living room, turning on a movie for you to watch. you quickly got bored, which meant you quickly got hungry.

“nico!” you yelled out, needed your baby daddy to come to your rescue.

“yes honey?” nico approached where you were lying down, the two brothers laughing at their captain.

“i’m hungry.” you gave him a hopeful smile. “for taco bell…” “you’re order still the same as it was last time?” nico didn’t even hesitate to grab his shoes and keys. 

“yes, but if they have nacho fries please get those too.” you answered, nico had basically all of your fast food orders memorized by now.

“nico can i get some food too?” jack asked in a girly voice.

“please honey!” luke added.

“fuck off you two, go finish putting her clothes away.

+++

soon enough you had dragged nico out to go shopping for a dress for your baby shower. luke and jack had left shortly after nico arrived back home with your food and once you finished eating you got nico to drive you to the mall.

“ooh what about this one?” you pulled out a simple floral dress.

“it’s nice, but it’s only march. don’t you think it’ll be too cold for a tank top?” nico spoke, reminding you that it was still freezing cold in new jersey.

a few minutes later you approached where nico was sat in a chair with a dress you thought would be more appropriate. 

“what about this? i love the pink.” it was basically a dupe of the skims long sleeve dress, but you didn’t really care. “we’ll have to find a polo that matches the color while we’re out.”

nico approved of the dress so you were quick to go to the checkout and buy the dress, excited about the event that was going to happen, after you pulled nico into the closest department store and found a polo that was close enough to the shade of pink of your dress. 

“how are you gonna tell the media about…this whole thing?” you asked on the way home.

“what whole thing?” nico questioned, not exactly understanding what you meant.

“the fact that you knocked up some chick, who you are now living with to raise the baby, but you aren’t together with said chick.” you deadpanned, thinking of all the reactions you knew you were going to get from the hockey world. you could already see the “baby trapper” and “gold digger” comments and dms you would get.

“i didn’t knock up some chick, i knocked up my…friend?” 

“yeah go with that, it sounded real believable nico.” you said sarcastically.

“look i don’t really know how to tell the world that i got my hook up/best friend pregnant because, as jack as told me multiple times, my pull out game is weak.” you laughed and agreed with jack that nico did in fact have a weak pull out game, the evidence was currently kicking you. 

after a few moments of silence nico spoke up again. “alright what if we don’t mention our relationship at all. we just make an instagram post together of images of the ultrasounds and pics from the baby shower and tell everyone that we are expecting. we definitely won’t post the gender reveal video because you look like you were planning my death in it, but we just make the post and don’t comment on our relationship.”

you had to admit that it was a good idea, but you already knew that this would make everyone assume that you were dating. most people did already, which you understood. you wore playoff jackets with nico’s name and number, you attend team events and parties together, hell you went to the nhl awards with him and his family, and you are super close with his family, so you were never upset that people assumed your relationship status with nico because you did everything that the other girlfriends and wives did.

“i like that idea.”

+++

“alright this gift is from me and jack.” luke spoke as he handed you a gift.

you were a bit overwhelmed with the amount of people looking at you and just simply being in your home, but you knew that these people were here for you and at the end of the day you were getting a shit ton of gifts. 

so far every single thing you had put on your list was gifted to you and now it was just things people thought you or the baby would like.

“oh you guys…i love it!” it was a wood wall decal of judith’s name and it matched the pink polkadot of her sheets.

“there is more under it.” jack spoke up. 

you lifted up the large sign and saw a baby onesie in maize and blue that said “future wolverine.”

you and your friends started laughing at it. 

“you guys do know that i went to ohio state right?”

you were met with a disgusted stare by the brothers, more specifically the youngest, only causing you to laugh harder, not noticing nico’s pissed off expression, the one he had on his face all day.

+++

you continued to open up gifts and thank everyone, nico was one writing duty so he wrote down each gift and who it was from so you could send them thank you cards later in the week.

once presents were done it was photo time. you took lots with your family and nico’s family, as well as some with your friends, and of course you had to keep the tradition going with the girls from the team and took a picture of everyone pointing at your belly.

you only took a couple with nico, as he had been oddly distant all day.

after everyone left you and nico began moving everything into judith’s nursery and setting things up.

“thank you for setting that up, i had a lot of fun.” you spoke up, interrupting the awkward silence that was looming around you two.

nico nodded as he finished building the crib, you were given the simple task of putting all the wipes and diapers in the changing table’s cabinet.

“so once we’re done do you want to make the instagram post? or were you wanting to wait until after judith was born to post?” it was awkward, nico was just sitting there once the crib was all set up. “...nico?”

you were met with silence, nico was staring at you, yet not speaking.

“okay what the hell is up with you today? you’ve been weird all day, the only time you were even interacting with me was during pictures.” you had snapped, getting aggravated by the swiss’ behavior today.

“it’s nothing i just…” nico started speaking, but trailed off quickly.

“are you having second thoughts about all of this?” you whispered, scared to say it too loudly, scared that it is the truth. “second thoughts about judith?”

nico’s head instantly shook. “no, of course not.”

“then what’s wrong?”

“it’s nothing, i’m just not feeling the greatest and i didn’t want to risk you getting sick so i tried to keep my distance from you…” nico lied.

earlier, when the party was first starting, nico had overheard your conversation with your friends about how you couldn’t wait to give birth so you can start going out on dates and having meaningless hookups, saying that you missed being a twenty two year old who could do twenty two year old things. 

nico understood you had urges, hell he had his urges too. over the course of your pregnancy you and nico had the occasional…hang out, but ever since you moved it was happening once, sometimes twice, a day. he thought it meant something, he thought you guys were finally going somewhere, but it seemed like you just wanted to go back to how things were before, which would probably be impossible, you have a fucking kid togther.

nico had realized a year ago that he had feelings for you. the only reason he didn’t go full legal team on your ass when you told him you were pregnant was because of how desperately he had fallen for you.  

“oh, well you could’ve just told me that earlier, i was worried that i had done something.” you said before an awkward silence settled in the room. “well could you put all the sheets and clothes we got today in the washer? i’m gonna start on thank you notes in the living room.”

you shook off the tension as you exited the small room, nico gathering everything that needed to be washed in a small basket before going into the laundry room.

+++

“i don’t like that, why don’t we just wait to post until she is born to post everything, have the caption just be judith? i think that's better than a three hundred word rant that could be summarized by i knocked up my friend.” 

three weeks until you were due to pop and you and nico still hadn’t gone public with the pregnancy. of course the wag blogs found a way to get a hold of a picture of you and nico from earlier on in the pregnancy where people could only speculate whether or not you were with child or just had a large lunch and somehow it got out that you had moved in with nico, only furthering the rumors that had been going on for years that you and nico are more than just friends. 

“okay. let’s wait until she comes to post, but i don’t like that caption, let’s keep thinking.” nico replied, the devil’s PR team email staring back at him. “they want us to publicize it before someone else does it for us.”

“well it’s a good thing i’m chained to this bed until i go into labor.” you joked, you were so big you could barely sit up let alone walk anywhere. “no one is going to find out, don’t worry. it will all be okay.”

+++

two weeks later you had been having contractions all day, but dr.swarn said to not go to the hospital until your water had broke because these contractions could’ve been directly connected to stress. considering that your pregnancy was exposed three days ago, you would say that you were pretty stressed out.

one of the girls, not even thinking, had posted a photo dump on instagram to celebrate the devil’s season ending and included one from your baby shower. nico, you, and unborn judith right in the center of it all. it was quickly taken down, but the damage had already been done and now all of nico’s and your social medias were being flooded by comments. 

nico was currently at locker cleanout, and the meeting he had to have with the PR team to apologize for not listening to them and to set up a game plan to rescue him from whatever deepshit this was going to get him in was scheduled for right after.

you were laid down on the kitchen floor, your mother was somewhere in the living room timing your contractions. you were having a big contraction, holding onto the nearby chair leg for support, when you felt a gush of liquid puddle under you. 

“MOM!?” you yelled out, your water had just broke.

“sweetie!? what’s going on- OH LORD!” your mother scrambled to get you on your feet as you cried out in pain. “let me get the bag!” you had never seen your mom run so fast, you would’ve laughed at her nearly tripping if it wasn’t for the child threatening the slip out at any moment.

you were assisted into the backseat of your mother’s car as she drove to the hospital.

“if you could step on it, that would be great i’m kinda-” your sarcastic comment was cut off by another contraction. “nico…oh my god nico! i need to call him!”

you fished around the packed bag until you got a grip on your phone, dialing up nico as quickly as possible.

“i’m sorry but the number you reached is not available. please leave a message at the sound of the beep.”

you groaned loudly, speaking into the phone. 

“your child is currently in the process of being born, i’m at the hospital closest to the arena. please hurry.”

+++

you laid in the weirdly comfortable hospital bed, not yet fully dilated. it worked out in your favor because nico had yet to show up. you left a couple text messages and then a few more voicemails.

“i don’t know what the fuck your doing right now, but if judith is born before you get here your last name will not be on the birth certificate.” you said into the microphone, leaving the third voicemail of the day.

nico’s entire family was flying in next week and nico had made sure that he had all of next week off from any media or anything related to hockey so he could be there for the birth, but now judith was coming early and no one but your mother was here.

dr.swarn entered your hospital room again, she had arrived shortly after you because you had paged her the second you got into the car. “how are we doing momma?”

“not good, baby daddy is nowhere to be seen and i’m still not dilated enough to get this monster out of me.” you answered, setting your phone down beside you.

after a few moments dr.swarn smiled. “well i’m sorry about nico’s absence, but judith is ready to come out. you’re ready to push.”

+++

you don’t remember much, the epidural had kicked in. 

you remember holding onto your mom’s hand so hard that she yelped in pain at one point.

you remember cursing nico for not only doing this to you, but not being there for you.

you remember crying, a lot, and you remember judith crying a lot too.

you remember holding judith for the first time. both of your tears stopped for just a moment as you had skin on skin contact.

you whimpered as they took her away for cleaning, but soon she was wrapped up and you were able to hold her again. 

you remember the sound of footsteps and a thick swiss accent begging to be let into the room, continuously yelling that he was the father. your mother was quick to go into the hall and defend nico from the nurses saying he couldn’t go into the room, and as soon as nico saw you holding judith he began crying. 

“y/n i am so so sorry, i was-”

“where the hell were you!? i just had to give birth to our daughter without the father there!” you scolded the man.

“i put my phone at the bottom of my bag during locker cleanout and didn’t even think to take it out before my meeting with management. i got here as fast as i could.” nico had to catch his breath while he spoke.

“i was all alone…” you teared up, all of your emotions catching up to you again.

“i know. i know baby and i’m so sorry.” nico said, coming to your side. “can i hold her?”

you were too distracted by nico calling you baby, well more specifically by the feeling in your stomach, to answer with words. you just nodded and handed judith over. “be careful, and make sure to support her head.”

you smiled at the sight of nico holding judith, tears in his eyes, quickly taking a picture.

“were you serious about my name not being on the birth certificate?”

+++

once everything had settled down and you and nico were finally given some alone time in the hospital room you began making calls.

your mom had already messaged your families group chat, informing them of judith’s birth and sending pictures, so now you just had to call nico’s family. first was his mother, you had wanted to call her before you went into labor but it was around midnight for her and you didn’t want to wake her up.

she was so happy to hear from you, and you had never heard such an excited scream in your life when you turned the camera onto where judith was currently sleeping in your arms, nico having moved to lay behind you in the bed, his chest being your pillow.

“oh you have to call nina next, she has been so excited to become an aunt!”

that’s exactly what you two did.

facetime nina was fun, she gave you some much needed comic relief and she didn’t make any comments on yours and nico’s relationship…while he was in the room.

the second nico stepped out of the room nina was quick to ask when the wedding was.

“never gonna happen. i don’t like nico like that, and he doesn’t like me like that.” you said while putting judith back in that plastic jail they call a crib. “we’re here to talk about my gorgeous daughter who looks a little too much like nico for my liking.”

“ouch.” 

your head whipped around to see nico standing at the door. “your back early.” you were hoping he didn’t hear what you had said earlier. lately nico had been acting insanely weird everytime someone brought up your relationship with one another.

“the nurse was just outside, she’s gonna go finish the final paperwork and we’ll probably be out of here in the next hour.” nico said before turning back around. “i’m gonna go help out with the discharge papers.”

once he left you let out a groan. “nina why is your brother acting so weird?”

“what’s up with him?” she asked, curiously.

“ever since the baby shower he has just been…off. i don’t even know how to explain it.” you  started off, beginning to pace around the room. “he is so distant, and really out of it. i would think it might just be with the upsetting ending of the season, but this has been going on since before the playoffs. he keeps saying that he is sick and doesn’t want to expose me to germs, but i live with him and i haven’t even heard him sneeze from allergies.”

“do you think, and i hate to ask this, that he is having regrets about…everything?” 

you felt tears fill your eyes at her question. “yeah, i do. i asked him, and he denied it, but i can’t think of any other reason why he would distance himself from me and from judith.”

the lack of response from your friend on the phone was enough to make you start crying.

“i have my essentials packed up and my mom has a lawyer on speed dial just in case something happens…” you felt horrible having to admit this, especially to his sister. “i don’t want the lawyers, it’s my moms doing.” you felt guilty for what having a lawyer would be implying. 

“-i’m not judging you. just make sure nico doesn’t find out, i have a feeling he won’t be a fan of you even having a bag packed.” nina cut you off. “look i have to go, just keep me updated.”

you assured her you would before saying your goodbyes.

+++

“hey you just have to sign the discharge papers and the birth certificate, then we can leave.” nico said, entering the hospital room you had been in for the past couple of hours.

it had been around twenty minutes since you said goodbye to nina, deciding to finish phone calls tomorrow and instead spend your time crying while holding your crying newborn, best way to bond right?

“okay.” you sniffled. “could you put judith in her carseat? i’m gonna change.”

bond right?

“okay.” you sniffled. “could you put judith in her carseat? i’m gonna change.”

nico nodded and picked judith up from the hospital’s crib, holding her close to his chest and staring at her in awe. he couldn’t believe that this precious little girl was his.

“i’m always going to love and protect you, no matter what. your mother too. someday we’ll be a happy family, the three of us, hopeful gannon will join us sometime soon…” nico trailed off. “daddy loves you and he loves mommy too, you’re the two most important women in my life now, don’t you ever forget that…your mommy does a lot.” 

nico couldn’t finish his peptalk, or whatever one would call the conversation with his daughter, because you had stepped out of the bathroom changed and ready to go. “are you okay?” it was obvious that you were crying, you don’t know why you were even trying to hid it. 

“i’m fine, just emotional…just gave birth ya know.” you tried to laugh it off.

nico didn’t believe it. “we’ll talk when we get home.” 

+++

“why have you been acting so weird-”

“i overheard what you said-”

you and nico spoke at the same time, nico gesturing for you to go first.

“you overheard!?” you were convinced you were breaking a sweat from how panicked you had become in an instant. “look nico, the lawyer was my mother’s idea a-and i haven’t even actually talked to them yet, my mother just has them on retainer.”

“wait, what!?” nico stared at you with a look that scared you. “i was talking about what you said at your baby shower. you have a lawyer!? do you have all your things packed too so you’re ready to leave me and take judith with you!?” your silence only made nico angrier. “oh my god you do have your shit packed.”

“j-just the essentials…” you stuttered out.

“yeah because that makes a difference.” nico had distanced himself from you. “i cannot believe this.”

“i only did that stuff because for the past month it's seemed like the last thing you wanted was to be in mine and judith’s life!” your loud voices woke judith up, her loud wails only making the room more tense. you picked her up and tried to soothe her as you spoke to nico. “i’m only gonna ask you one more time nico, do you regret being with me and deciding to be in judith’s life?” 

“no. i do not regret it y/n.” nico spoke sternly.

“then why the hell are you treating us this way?” 

“because i am in love with you.”

your eyes widened in shock and you nearly lost your grip on judith from the whiplash that seemed to go through your body.

“you…what!?” 

it was essentially a stare down between the two of you, it was so uncomfortable in the room that even judith shut her mouth. 

“i have for a year now, probably longer, a-and i thought that judith would finally be my way into your heart. i thought that me being there for you, and for our daughter, would make you love me too.” nico’s tone of voice was one of a kicked puppy. 

“what are you doing?” you asked, not pleased with what he was throwing onto you. “why are you telling me this?” 

“i just needed you to know.” nico whispered his response, not expecting that reaction.

“so you’ve been in love with me for a year now?” nico nodded at your question. “so how does that add up to you treating me like some gold digging whore who got pregnant on purpose for the past month?” 

“i’m not-” nico let out a heavy sigh. “at your baby shower you said you couldn’t wait for everything to get back to how it was before the pregnancy.”

“yeah, so?”

“so!? you’ve basically been counting down the days until you’re able to fuck someone else, while i’ve been doing everything in my power to prove myself to you that i am worthy of being more than just the guy you fuck when no one else is available.” nico grew angry, if this was a cartoon steam would be coming out of his ears.

“i didn’t ask for you to do that nico! i was happy with how things were before judith, is it so wrong to want that back?” you were equally as angry. who was he to make you feel guilty about not being in love with him?

“yes it is! you are a mother now y/n, you are not allowed to be irresponsible anymore. you have to take care of two lives now-”

“are you not going to be helping me!?” you interrupted nico.

“when i can, yes i will, but i have a job that keeps me away a lot.” 

you rolled your eyes at his words. “you are not allowed to dictate my love life just because you knocked me up.”

you didn’t know if you should be thankful or agitated that judith decided to start crying at that moment, but either way you started your slight bouncing movements back up to try and settle my daughter, as odd as it was to use that term in a real scenario, and tried to find those parental instincts everyone was always talking about.

“she’s probably hungry.”

“i didn’t ask you…but thank you i will try that.”

+++

the first night with judith was rough. as much as nico wanted to, he couldn’t leave you alone and retreat off to the hughes’, both because if his mother found out, and she would, he might as well get his obituary ready in advance and he just could not handle the torture the brothers would put him through.

it was like your daughter had a sixth sense for when you were just about to fall asleep, choosing those exact moments to cry out for something. you never knew what she wanted, always going through the same order of “milk, diaper change, pacifier, cuddles, burping, scenery change, and clothing change” until one of them worked. 

nico slept on the couch, it was close enough to your room where if judith began to cry he would hear it and wake up. he was going to stay in your room with you and judith, but after the blowup of him confessing his feelings and you borderline rejecting him things it got a bit awkward. still now, almost twenty four hours later you and nico hadn’t had a proper conversation let alone spoken about what had happened. 

you were on the phone with nina for a while, then your mother, then nina and your mother, both of them giving you their advice but following it up with “just listen to your heart.”, so it was all canceled out in your mind. 

you turned to your newborn, who was staring at you from her little bed next to yours. “judith what am i supposed to do? your daddy, the one with the funny voice, is so amazing and sweet. he treats me like a princess, so why am i struggling so much to figure out what i want with him?” 

judith stared at you with those large brown eyes, a small look of adoration on her face. 

“i love you.” you whispered to her. “-and i love your father too.” 

you sat up in bed, eyes widening at your revelation. you love nico. 

“oh judith, thank you for listening to your mommy!”

you hopped out of bed, rushing into the living room. “nico! nico! nico! nic-”

“what!? what's wrong!? is judith alright!?” nico basically jumped off of the couch, worried that something had happened.

“she’s fine, everything is fine…well not everything it’s just.” you took a moment to look at nico, the lighting was horrible yet he still looked amazing. “i love you too nico.”

there was a silence that followed, it wasn’t awkward or filled with tension, just a calm silence. 

you blinked and then suddenly nico’s lips were on yours. 

the sound of judith’s cries separated your lips and caused you both to race to your bedroom.

spoiler alert: nothing was wrong with judith, she was just crying to cry. 

nico’s arms were wrapped around you and were holding you into his chest as you both laughed. 

“so what now? are we dating? getting married?” you asked, leaning your head against nico’s shoulder. 

“as much as i would love to get married right now, we’ll start with dating…so will you be my girlfriend?” nico asked, mumbling against your head and giving light kisses every now and then.

“yes, i will be your girlfriend.”

“yes!” 

you laughed at his response, judith held in both of your arms. “let’s go to bed, she’s finally asleep.”

+++

nicohischeir and y/nonfilm

nicohischier me, my girlfriend, and our beautiful babygirl. welcome to the world judith.

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jackhughes god father mode activated😎

y/nonfilm …who said you were the god father?

ninahischier best day ever!! i got a niece and a sister 🩷🩷

njdevils baby hischier alert‼️

comments on this post have been limited

+++

note: i 100% HATE this ending (the whole thing actually) it’s so rushed and just bleh, but i have literally been working on this for 71 days. SEVENTY ONE DAYS. college has been kicking my ass lately so i haven’t been very focused on writing anything. but i hope y’all still like this PLEASE DON’T LET IT FLOP i’ll cry. okay love y’all babes BYEEEE!!!

[worldstarz]

saving kaeya after his fight with diluc

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

pairing: kaeya alberich x fem!knight!reader

summary: after his fight with diluc, kaeya is thrown out of the manor to fend for himself. stumbling, bleeding, and on the verge of death, he finds you.

tags: hurt + comfort ; some angst ; mutual (?) feelings ; tbh could also be seen as platonic ; pre-storyline ; not proofread ; prolly ooc i’m so sorry

cw: blood ; injuries ; mentions of violence

notes: going through my notes app that is filled to the BRIM with oc x canon pairings. i haven’t played genshin in over a year (and this blurb was originally written like two years ago lmao) but i still love my flirty slutty cryo man! anyways i altered it so it’s reader x kaeya and removed some oc stuff, but idk how to fit in an explanation on why you’re in the forest… let your imagination run wild!!!

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

kaeya stumbled out of the winery, hand trembling over his bleeding eye.

'it's fine... everything will be fine.' thoughts raced through his head. his whole entire body was throbbing in pain. it’s not like he could go back inside the winery to rest—not after a fight as nasty as that.

"diluc will be running over to some maid any second now. ha, lucky bastard," kaeya muttered.

diluc had a team of servants that he could go to. kaeya only had diluc, emphasis on had.

at the dead of night, there was no way he could get care at the cathedral. he couldn't hold in a chuckle, realizing the situation he was in. he had no one, huh? though popular, kaeya didn’t have any particularly close friends who he could spend the night with.

with that, he knew he had no choice but to pitifully limp to the favonius headquarters—a long, long walk away.

he barely made it into the forest before he fell to the ground, wheezing against a tree. his ears were ringing, but he could hear footsteps cautiously approaching him. he didn't even have the energy to lift his head.

"kaeya? what the hell are you doing out here this late?" whose voice was that...? was it an angel’s? oh, wait. angels wouldn’t swear. it was your voice.

in the state he was in, he could only muster a grunt in response. you kneeled down in front of him, and gasped at the sight of his collapsed body. "just what have you gotten yourself into this time?" you muttered. "can't stand up anymore, huh?"

you tilted his chin up, and both of you wince—him as a result of pain, you due to getting a clear view of his injuries. his blue hair, usually tied into a low ponytail, cascaded down his shoulders, caked in blood. his crimson-soaked chest rose and fell rapidly. "ooh, that is nasty. come on, lean on me. we're going to headquarters." you kneeled down to wrap your arm around his torso, gingerly lifting him up.

"well, would you look at that. that’s exactly where i was heading,” he chuckled, leaning against your body. typically, he would never accept support from another. but, with this arguably being the lowest point of his life, his pride was the least of his concerns. plus, you were just so undeniably warm. if he’s on the verge of death, then maybe being by your side wouldn’t be so bad for a final memory.

you don’t respond, your pace slower from his weight and for his comfort. silence follows. you obviously had a million questions for him—what the hell happened? did he get in a fight with an abyss mage? why was he out so late?—but you could tell he was beyond exhausted, and from the sight of his gushing wounds, getting answers was far from a priority.

the two of you arrived in the city, streets barren in the pitch black of night. the tavern was closed, so, thankfully, no drunkards were hanging about near the path.

the inside of the headquarters was equally empty. the soft glow of lanterns lit the way up the stairs to the barracks. "kaeya, where is your room?" you asked, your voiced barely above a whisper as to not wake the other knights.

"all the way at the end of the hall. but... i forgot my keys," he whispered. you could tell he was smirking.

"how sly of you. if i didn't know any better, i would've thought this was another trick of yours to be close to a lady," you responded, though there wasn’t a hint of accusation in your voice.

"ha, you know me so well."

"to my room we go." you walked further up the steps.

after a moment of silence, you mumbled, "i know you're not the type of person to sneak into a lady's room."

"i'm grateful you understand me so well."

"zip it. i don't even know your favorite color."

unlocking your door, you gently set kaeya down on your bed. you immediately get to work, removing his coat and shoes. usually, his slick tongue would say something suggestive, but tonight, he had no choice but to refrain.

even with your limited knowledge of first aid, you knew just a damp rag would do nothing to help. "i have no tools with me," you say, beginning to walk away. "i'll go grab so-"

kaeya suddenly grabbed your arm, effectively stopping both you and your sentence. he looked so... pained. "please don't go,” he whispered. you never could have expected this level of venerability from him.

"...kaeya?" you whispered, turning to face him. "i have to find a way to tend to your injuries. you're in pain, aren't you?"

his hand slacked.

after coming back with medical supplies, the two of you were silent as you tended to his wounds. he gazed at the ceiling, the silence occasionally broken by you asking for permission for actions such as unbuttoning his shirt. you don’t comment on the new cryo vision in his pocket.

deep gashes littered his body, most notably a diagonal one across his chest. as you applied pressure against the gaping wound in an effort to stanch the bleeding, kaeya couldn’t help but hiss in pain. “sorry, sorry, i’m trying to be gentle,” you whispered hurried apologies, using one hand to continue applying pressure and the other to hold his hand.

his grip tightened, and the poor boy whispered, “i know, i trust you. or, well, i’m trying to.”

all you could do regarding his eye was wrap it in bandages to get it checked out in the morning. the basic first aid lessons you were required to take to become a knight did not cover an injury like that.

once you finished, you sat on the floor, leaning against the bed frame. he was still holding onto your hand.

"what happened?" you asked softly.

"..."

"was it an ambush?"

"..."

"i'll report it in the mor-"

"don't. please, don't," he whispered. “i swear i’ll explain everything to you one day.”

you grimaced. "fine. just... promise not to do anything stupid like that again, alright? i was worried."

kaeya didn't respond, going over your words in his head. you were worried? you didn't seem worried. but... you were worried. why would you so willingly take care of him like this? how would you react if you knew who he really was? would you still be worried?

he couldn't hold back his tears and restrained sobs. you lifted your head in surprise, leaning in closer to scan his expression.

"...kaeya?"

"my apologies," he tried to smile, covering his face with his free arm in embarrassment. no one has seen him like this before, and it was far too foreign for him. "especially when you let me use your room."

in response, you squeezed his hand, whispering, “it’s fine. i don’t think of you any differently.”

how do you always know exactly what to say? to grant him at least a little bit of privacy, you turn away as he quietly sobbed into his forearm.

after a while, he sniffles, saying, “i apologize. i don’t know what came over me.” trying to get some humor out of the situation, he adds, “well, i guess we are bonded for eternity now, aren’t we?”

you turned your head to face him, the furrow of your brows causing him to chuckle. “archons, you’re going to be the death of me,” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“seeing how you saved me from death, that wouldn’t be fair, would it?” his foxy grin made you let out yet another exasperated sigh, but you still couldn’t help but smile slightly. it was obvious he was trying to act tough for you, but for now, you would follow along with his fantasy.

“alright, whatever. get some sleep.”

“and what about your sleeping arrangements?”

“i’ll manage. i’ve slept on the forest floor for missions, i can handle a hardwood floor.”

“oh? i couldn’t possibly let my savior sleep in such horrible conditions,” he teased. “won’t you join me in bed?”

“barbatos, give me strength,” you muttered.

he laughs softly, and you can feel your stomach tighten at the sound. even during such a rough moment, kaeya can still manage to put up a charming appearance. his single eye twinkled in the low dim of the candlelight, and you realized your falling for his sly tricks. “please, [name], won’t you grant a poor, injured man his dying wish?”

with a groan, you let go of his hand and climb into the bed beside him, careful not to touch him to avoid any unnecessary pain.

“i knew you were a saint!” he gives you a triumphant smile as you lay on your side to look at him. his tanned skin, though scratched, still was as enchanting as ever in the moonlight. the deep blue of his eye pulled you in deeper, and once again, you realized you were a victim of his charm. but, this was different—though he would never admit it, with your tender care of his wounds and unwavering support, he has unknowingly fell victim to your charm, too. his hand seeks out yours once again, intertwining your fingers.

neither of you commented on the continuation of the hand-holding, nor would you ever.

only then, as you two shared the cramped bed space, does kaeya come to a realization—he had you.

his grip on your hand tightened.

he has you.

[scuddisher]

WHAT OTHERS CANNOT GIVE.

Price finds out you've been having second thoughts on your intimacy with him, searching for other men's services in the area—but he's convinced you're partnered with him for a reason.

RATING — MATURE & EXPLICIT (18+) PAIRING — gigolo! john price x gn! reader GENRE(S) — drabble, gigolo! au, yandere! au, smut WORD COUNT — 1k WARNINGS — mature content, language, jealousy, highly possessive john, loads of under-toning SMUT WARNINGS — sexual content, dom! price, edging, doggy-style, missionary, unprotected intercourse, creampie, bruising, mainly filth lol RELEASE DATE — DEC 14TH 2023

AUTHOR’S NOTE — me: i’m not gonna write for cod. i’m not gonna write for- [GUNSHOT]. this has been in my brain for WEEKS but now it’s finally written out <3 i live off of any type of modern-worker price concepts lmao they’re keeping me going rn.

“You know what sets me apart from others?”

John had you wrapped around his finger. Like a ring given in matrimony—the one you'd shiver over every time you had to take it off for some necessary chore where it could be damaged or lost. He knew his importance to you was real, it was what kept you coming back. But he had never taken into consideration that his services weren't enough for you.

Not with the way he had you clenching around his length, like now. “Why I am so good at my goddamn job?”

His ego had grown the more you had spoken. Broken sentences admitting to him that you had gone to see another man, asked for the pleasures of another's touch that wasn't him—you were his only regular.

John already knew, he was already hearing the gossip amidst the others. He had already found the strangely familiar phone number hidden deep inside of your drawer. In his world, of dark nights and long-time pleasure—he knew the signs of when a client was putting a distance between them and him.

You felt him twitch up into your heat as your breathing stuttered. Ears ringing loudly but only listening to the sounds of John spilling words through his gritted teeth. You knew you had crossed the line.

“What makes me the fucking best?” His words were harsh like a growl, yet spoke softly into only your ear as he pressed you into the mattress below him and felt your hips jerk back into his hot loins.

He had been fucking you for two hours. And this was once something you begged for. Once, his intimacy—now, obsession.

You felt yourself shivering from the cold air, the only major heat being the rough man behind you. His body was sweaty, hair sticking to himself along every part of his body. His happy trail soaked with drops of sweat running down his abs, stomach sucking in every time you clenched around him. You were dizzy from all that he had done to you.

And yet, he got another rise. Had released his load into you twice now, stretching you even further on his cock. That twitch of your body, mouth agape and claiming his name on your tongue. “John!”

Each time he pulled his length from you, the stickiness of his cum was enough to make you jerk and nearly orgasm until you felt the bruises he left on your hips throb in pain from his calloused fingertips pressing into them again.

You felt the cold air of his dick leaving you, could only whine as his hand pulled at your head until his lips were on your ear. And just as you felt the rush of his hot cum hitting the skin of your ass, he spoke again.

“Because I focus on my own pleasure, not yours. And that makes you my toy.”

Your whine was enough to have him turning you over to look at him, his touch becoming gentle as he heard the hisses and whispered words from your lips. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

“Sorry.” He was still John. “Sorry is a tough word for you to use, isn't it?” His accent had grown thicker by each syllable. He was playing with your emotions. “Did you apologize to the man you called out that late night?”

There it was. The jealousy he had pent up, rocked his hips into yours until he almost forgot, only to see your big eyes staring up at him with tears falling down your cheeks to remind him.

“The one whose number you dialed instead of mine? Met in the latest hour of the night? Asked to pleasure you in some new way to get your fucking rocks off?!”

His beard was still covered in the wetness of your arousal, mixing with his spit and displaying itself on your skin each time his words turned angrier. Everything he had done to you tonight, it was all to convince you.

His mind was lost in his own thoughts as he spoke aloud. “Could he even make you cum? Know how to use you? Did he even get a touch before you realized he was someone else and not me?”

His hand moved from your heat, feeling you throb against the little friction he gave you until it found the pulse of your heartbeat at your neck. His thumb pressed into the spot, begging to feel how fast your heart would beat when he finally told you what he wanted to say all night.

“I'm the only person in the world that can make you cum like this.” His hard length was in his free hand, pressing into your heat once more until you were all-consuming. You saw the flinch in his face as he felt your walls feather with overuse, but he still found himself filling you up.

You felt his hips stutter once he was balls deep. The way his cock twitched from being sensitive like he hadn't used every hard-on he had gotten that night to prove his point. Now was his final show.

The ring of your arousal around him only caused a louder squelch and he pulled from you and thrusted himself back in. His speech only turned guttural when he felt how tired you were, how well he had taught you this lesson.

And as your body took him in and then kept going, your rise finally crashed down on you.

“You’re the o-only person who I have seen this many times in my field of work.”

You squeezed him, milked him of one more gushing orgasm, and then fell right down into your own. “Your body only knows me now. This—” He winced feeling your entire body turn into mush as your orgasm finally swept over you. “This is only for us.”

His words quieted as his head fell into your shoulder, mouth kissing at your neck. You could only cry, only whine his name softly. He finally claimed what he wanted to since the first day your shaky little fingers dialed his number.

“I'm the only one who can give you what others cannot.” He spoke so gently, pressing his entire weight onto your form below him and into the mattress. “My love.”

© scuddisher — all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, repost, or translate any of my works without my permission. do not post my content on other sites, especially claiming them as your own! reblogs and feedback are seriously appreciated <3

[cupidjyu]

hey pookie, could i request an angst/fluff kind of reaction. if you don't mind, can i req it for 98 line, with what they would do after a moderate argument which lead to you not speaking to them for a whole day? thank you in advance, if you do decide on doing this req! 😖🩷

already missing you

(98 line) what they do after an argument

genre: mild argument (topic not specified), making up, hugs, comfort, apologies, all good endings, slight crying notes: the way i spent like a good week with this already written i just forgot to post it SORRYYy thank u for requesting!! word count: 1.5k

juyeon

When you awoke on a cloudy day, you already knew something was off.

It did take you a while to understand what exactly, but when your hands ran through the sheets, you realized that these weren’t the usual ones that you slept under. And when your other hand reached out to the other side of the bed, there was no one else sleeping beside you to keep you warm.

You sighed. This was your doing after all.

After the argument, you stormed off into the guest bedroom to sleep on your own. It was fine. You just needed to clear your thoughts. 

You were about to fall back asleep when you were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Blinking your eyes back open, you saw Juyeon’s head peek in. Usually, you would giggle at the sight, but today, your eyes were only dimly lit. 

“Can I come in?” He spoke with a timid voice.

You nodded slowly. You couldn’t even take a glance at his face with how low he had hung his head. Silently, he approached the bed and sat on the edge. His back was facing you, his shoulders hunched slightly.

You watched him quietly. That was when you heard a sniffle. One that came from him.

Immediately, you were sitting up because frankly, Juyeon never cried. Your hand gently came up to his shoulder and you turned him around. Your eyes softened. The man had tears welling in his eyes, and it seemed that he had already cried previously with how puffy they were.

“Oh, Juyeon,” You whispered. You leaned forward and pulled him into your chest, hugging him closely.

“I’m sorry,” He mumbles against you. “For everything. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His large hands came up to your shirt, gripping the fabric tightly as if to silently ask you to never leave him.

You shushed him starting to feel emotional yourself. “It’s okay,” You muttered back. “I’m sorry too. My words were harsh before.”

He hummed and you could see a small smile on your lips when you looked down. His grip on you only tightened. You found this sight a little bit amusing actually: the way someone so tall could just fold into your arms so easily.

“Want to stay here?” You asked. Instantly, he nodded, looking up at you like a sad cat. You cooed, teasingly poking the tip of his nose. “You’re like a cat. Stuck in the rain.”

“I come here to apologize and of course, you compare me to a cat,” He grumbled, though you could see the tug of his lips. Without a warning, he pulled you back down into bed, his arms immediately wrapping around you in a tight hold. He snuggled into the back of your neck. “I missed you last night. The bed felt so cold, you know.”

You smiled. “I missed you too. And your warmth.” He grinned against your neck.

kevin

The doorbell ringing scared you so much that you flinched. Because of the argument, you had become so jumpy all of a sudden. Shuffling to the door, you took a deep breath. You knew who was on the other side and you weren’t sure if you wanted to see him just yet.

But still, you turned the knob and opened it. You were met with the sight of your boyfriend, Kevin, holding a bag filled with your belongings. Inside were some clothes–not all of them–and other belongings that you used in your normal routine.

You looked up at him, terrified. “Are you–” 

He gave you a shaky smile. “I’m not breaking up with you.”

“Oh,” You breathed out. “I thought you were kicking me out.”

“Me? No, never.” He huffed out a bitter laugh. “I just… I don’t want you to feel pressured to see me right now. I thought that you would want some space so I brought you the things that you need.”

You stared at him, speechless.

“Kevin–”

“And I want to apologize. I was wrong and I shouldn’t have said those things.” He furrowed his eyebrows.

There was a moment of silence. You stared down at the bag that was still in his hand, thoughts rushing through your mind like leaves in a breeze. And then you looked back up at him, unsurely.

“Do you want space?” You asked softly.

He widened his eyes and he immediately shook his head. “No, god no. I miss you so much. But, if you want space then I–”

You stepped forward and threw your arms around his neck, making him let out a shaky breath.

“I don’t want space,” You muttered. “If you miss me then I’ll stay there with you. I’m sorry too.”

He pulled away with a smile of relief. “I’m glad you want to stay. I don’t know what I would do without you,” He whined adorably. “I actually would have gone insane.”

You giggled. “You really didn’t think this plan through did you?”

“Nope. But I really did miss you.”

chanhee

A knock sounded on your front door. Quickly, you rushed to the mirror to make sure you didn’t look too disheveled. There was no use. Your eyes were already swollen and red.

With a low sigh, you opened the door, expecting maybe the delivery man. Instead, it was Chanhee. He was standing, his eyes squeezed shut as his hands held up a bouquet of flowers. You could see that it was shaking slightly with how tightly he was gripping it.

“Chanhee?” You gazed at him with shock.

“I know that you’re upset and I understand if you don’t want these,” He rambled. He paused for a second, peeking an eye open as he bit his lip nervously. He then shoved the flowers closer to you in a plea. “But just know that I always will love you and I’m sorry.”

You sniffled, bringing your palms to your face to hide your tears.

“Why’re you crying?”

“No, I–” You gently took the bouquet from his hands, studying the beautiful flowers. “These are really pretty…”

He smiled, stepping forward to wipe the tears off your cheeks with his sleeve. “So I’m guessing that you do want the bouquet?”

You nodded, smiling through your tears. “Definitely.” You paused. “Though I think I’m still upset, I think we should talk about it more.” You took his hand in yours and led him in before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

“I agree. I didn’t think you would love the flowers so much,” He whispered.

“Of course, I would love them.” You laughed with a sniffle. “They’re so pretty.”

“Well, you look very pretty holding them.” He returned the kiss, but this time on your forehead.

You blushed. “I should be apologizing, not you flattering me.”

He shrugged with a small smile. “I can’t help it. You’re too pretty for me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Let me say sorry first.”

changmin

With a sigh, you pulled open the door. Dreadfully, you had the worst clothes on but you couldn’t care less. You just needed to stop by the convenience store to buy your favorite snack. Best way to not feel horrible after an argument. 

Just as you stepped out, you felt a piece of paper crinkle under your shoe. You tilted your head and looked down.

It was a small letter. Your name was written on the front in familiar handwriting. Changmin’s handwriting.

With a confused hum, you picked it up and opened it.

Dear the love of my life,

I’m sorry for everything. I want you to know I love you so much and I dreamt of you today when you weren’t with me.

P.S. I’m too ashamed to meet you and say this in person, sory sorry baby 

You laughed at the letter, tears springing up to your eyes. You could even see the signature drawing that he would add. It was of a squirrel, holding a small heart aimed at you. You leaned against the closed door, wondering where Changmin would be at this time.

The park, you figured. He always went there when he needed to clear his mind.

Instead of going to the store, you walked all the way to the park. Sure enough, he was sitting on the bench, twirling a flower pitifully between his fingers. You took a seat next to him, watching him with a smile.

He glanced at you and looked back down at his lap with guilt. 

“Hi,” He muttered quietly.

“Hi,” You replied with a half smile.

He turned to you with a small frown. “Did you read it?”

You nodded. “I did.”

He sighed with a pout. “I knew you would find me here.”

You snorted, “You wanted me to find you.” 

He blushed at that. “I– maybe I did.” He looked away briefly. “I just missed you. I’m too ashamed to tell you that.”

You smirked. “You just did.”

“Right,” He whispered. Then, he reached over and took your hand in his. “I’m sorry though. Truly.”

You smiled. “I’m sorry too. Now we’re even. So we can hug.”

“How does that make sen– oomph.” You surged forward, pulling him into a tight hug. Immediately, he melted into your arms, returning the hug as he held you closer.

“I don’t ever want to lose you,” He muttered. “I love you. And I’ll tell you that all the time without a letter.”

[call-me-copycat]

I'm so sorry @pink-lemonadae-san ! Tumblr has a nasty problem for me where random drafts of mine go missing for no reason. Luckily I take a screenshot of every ask before saving the draft (since this has happened in the past).

➤ Welcome

Request rules, info about me, and links to all my masterlists

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

▶ Pairing: Tamaki Amajiki x GN Reader

▶ Genre: Fluff (tiny bit of a slowburn), Romance

▶ Word Count: 11,800 (Exactly!)

▶ Story Notes:

- "Shokupan" is just Japanese for Milk Bread

- I began writing this during Golden Week, but it's over now (Apr 29 - May 5)

- Golden Week is a series of festivals and holidays in Japan, but I didn't go into much detail with it in the story

▶ Warnings: None (Although I might want you warn you that this isn't exactly the best I've written since I'm not very good with romance >///<)

The bell chimed by the door, the light ringing making its way throughout the little bakery. Golden ribbons of sunlight were just barely beginning to peak through the windows, coating the entire shop in its sleepy yet cozy filter.

It was early in the morning, much earlier than when most people got up for the day, but as a baker you saw it as your duty to fulfill the daily tasks for your job - no matter how tedious or dull. It was what got you your job, after all.

Just as any other day customers filed in and out in wide, nearly empty groups, the early morning crowd mainly consisting of office workers, students and teachers, tired night-shift workers ready to rest, and sometimes a hero or two if you got lucky enough.

The syrupy aroma of various pastries, breads, and sweets filled the shop in a warm and inviting atmosphere. The sweet fragrance was something you had enjoyed when you first started working there, but you realized to your disdain you had eventually grown numb to it's smell.

The bell chimed in rhythm with the creaking of the door, accompanied with the sound of the cash register letting out its little clicks and beeps as you paced yourself around the small group of customers. And so the steady rhythm of your everyday life was beginning once again, just as it had done so many times in the past.

Finally, after waving goodbye to a little boy and his older sister you looked up at the clock to realize the early morning rush had finished. It wasn't too bad that day, and since it was the smallest rush of the day it normally helped to wake you up and let you prepare for the bigger crowds that come later on.

Just as you were pulling out a new tray of sweet pastries from where they were sitting in the warm oven, a small commotion gained your attention. The bell on the door rang, and it was quickly followed by three students that came crashing in, clearly in a rush.

Upon closer inspection, you realized that they were most likely around your age. The tallest one had a bright and cheerful smile on his face despite the concern of what time they had on hand, with bright yellow hair to go with his blue eyes.

The girl next to him was also all smiles, with a warm and rather cute expression as she forgot about her surroundings and smushed her face up against the display case that showed what pastries and sweets you sold.

Finally, you didn't even notice the boy standing behind them at first, but after he stepped out to say something to the blond-haired boy you saw that he was much more timid, a shy and nervous expression on his face - some if it being hidden by the indigo colored locks that fell in front of it.

The blonde haired boy was the first that went up to you, the timid boy trying to pry the girl from the case as she went up and down the long glass rows.

"Hey! Is it alright if I get one honey croissant, and- just a sec" he smiled kindly and turned to the other two, a gentle urgency in his voice as he asked them what they wanted.

"Ooh! The mochi! No, wait, the coffee jelly! Wait, wait, wait! I changed my mind, I'm going with the mochi, it looks yummy!" The blue haired girl was ecstatic, jumping around with the energy you felt could compare to an excited 5-year old who wandered in with their mother.

Suddenly, all eyes were on the shy boy, and even as you packaged the orders that were already asked, you could see him visibly shrink under the attention. A small part of you felt a little bad for the boy, so you decided that you'd do something kind to make up for the nervousness he had, especially since you had some extra goodies left over from the night before that you didn't want to go to waste.

"So Tamaki, what's it gonna be?" The blonde asked the shy boy - Tamaki, you learned.

Upon this request, he visibly hunched inwards, stuffing his hands in his pockets and directing his attention to the ground, muttering a simple "I'm fine".

"Nonsense! C'mon buddy, pick something out and then we can head to school - it's on me!" The blonde enthusiastically patted the boy, Tamaki on the shoulder. He seriously didn't seem to want the attention, but nevertheless he still sheepishly pointed at the Milk Bread in the display, a plain yet sweet bread for the less adventurous. You realized he might've just picked something to get the boy's attention off of him for the time being.

Quickly handing the girl her mochi and and placing the honey croissant on the counter, you went to packaging the single piece of Shokupan in its box. Only, before you closed the lid, you got an idea.

The three rushed out of the bakery after paying, and in a way you felt a little accomplished, enjoying the tiny break in routine. It certainly wasn't everyday you met such characters like them, with such contrasting personalities. You could only hope they'd come back for another visit sometime.

As Mirio, Nejire, and Tamaki hurriedly made their way back to UA in order to beat the bell for first hour they snacked on their little pastries, all except Tamaki, who shoved the box into his bag for lunch without even opening it.

It was a typical day at UA, with studying, training, quizzes, and so on. A day that Tamaki felt he could easily handle since the familiar routine with comforting and predictable.

It went this way up until lunch, where he sat confused with a blank look on his face as he started into the box that held his Shokupan he had ordered earlier out of panic. Blinking his eyes, he registered that there wasn't just a single piece of the sweet bread in the box all by its self, but rather it had company.

A cute little cookie sat next to the bread, decorated to look like a little kitty. He normally would've found it charming, but at the moment he felt like a thief.

There was another pastry in the box! What if you put it there by accident?! What was he supposed to do, eat it? Give it back? It had been sitting in his backpack all day, so Tamaki doubted it would still be able to be sold if he gave it back. But he didn't pay for this, was he considered a criminal if the offense was on accident?!

Paranoid thoughts ran throughout his mind, and he struggled to come up with a solution. Mirio looked over, and upon seeing his friend starting intensely at the box with his bread in it, leaned over to check out what was going on.

"Oh, sweet! They gave you an extra!"

Tamaki's eyes flew open at his friends dismissal.

"No! No, they must've put it in here by accident! Mirio what do I do? I can keep this, it's not mine!"

Mirio chuckled reassuringly, patting his nervous friend on the shoulder.

"Well even if it was an accident, I don't think you can give it back-"

Tamaki's panicked expression worsened, but Mirio quickly finished his sentence to avoid being taken out of context.

"- Buut what else can you really do but enjoy it? Besides, there's always the chance they were just being nice!"

Tamaki grimaced as he looked at the little cookie in the box, Mirio's words not reassuring him the slightest. He mentally slapped himself, it was just a cookie! It was probably just 50 yen anyways, why did he always have to overthink everything? Why did he make things so hard for himself?

Before he could decide on what to do, Nejire caught up on the situation and smiled while cheerfully reaching over the lunch table - towards his cookie.

"Hey, it you don't want it I can always eat it for y-"

However, before she could get another word in, Tamaki snapped the little container shut, causing the two pairs of eyes to settle on him due to the unexpected and sudden reaction.

"It's... Fine. It'll be fine"

The two others looked at each other in confusion at Tamaki's sudden change in demeanor, but before either could get a word in, the bell rang and signaled for them to get to class.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Later at the end of the day, you were just coming home after your own day of work, tired yet fulfilled. It was a fun aspect of your life, getting to bake for people and all. Seeing people eat your own creations and enjoy them was what made it all worth it

As you got ready for the night, you couldn't help but wonder what happened to that shy boy and his friends that visited earlier that morning. They were so entertaining to see, and in a way you felt the most similar to the nervous boy - Tamaki.

It was silly to realize about, but everytime you thought about the boy, you felt a small tug on your heart. For now, you just decided to chalk it up as pity since the poor guy was a shaking mess when you saw him. Maybe he'd visit again with his friends...

The day after was the exact same, making pastries and sweets, serving people, cleaning some, and so on. Only, a small part of you was hoping to see the unlikely trio again, and everytime the door opened your eyes would involuntarily flicker over with a spark of hope.

The day dragged on, and the further it got the smaller your hope would shrink. At the end of the day with no sign of them, you could only sigh and scold yourself for thinking so foolishly, after all they were only customers that visited once.

Just as you were stacking the used trays so they could be put in the dishwasher, a small knocking on the front door caught your attention. Turning, you saw none other than the trio you were hoping to see - well two of the three, that is.

It was only the blond and Tamaki that were standing there, the girl being nowhere in sight. Admittedly, you chuckled to yourself before gesturing for them to turn the handle, only to have to yell in response to further confusion "It's open!"

The blond chuckled and rubbed the nape of his neck, while Tamaki groaned in either embarrassment or annoyance. Perhaps it was a mixture of both.

The door swung open, the bell chimed, and then they were in the shop. Seeing the place near empty (except the one regular who was eating by his lonesome near the back), both their expressions turned a little apologetic.

"Ah! Sorry if you're closing, we-"

The blond got caught off mid-sentence by Tamaki, and this was the first time you saw the boy speak on his own without being pressured.

"We.. We can go. You look busy- don't th-they look busy, Mirio? L-let's not bother them." He tried turning around to leave, tugging his unmoving friend's arm in the direction of the door. Finally he stilled and his shoulders slumped as he looked at his friend who refused to budge, a pathetic and pleading expression on his face. And that's when you felt it again, that thumping of your heart.

"Actually... It may seem empty, but I don't close for another hour." You gave off the warmest smile you could in hopes of reassuring the both that they weren't intruding. The blonde - Mirio, you learned- smiled in response while Tamaki's expression stayed one of pitiful nervousness.

"That's great! We just wanted to visit again to say how much we liked your sweets! They're great, really. Tamaki especially agrees, don't you buddy?" Tamaki groaned his friend's name as his face blossomed into a shade of red at his friends comment, and once again you tried to defuse his anxiety.

"Oh! That's so sweet of the both of you, I have some extras if you'd like one?"

Tamaki waved his hands in front of him, not wanting to deal with the guilt of more free food, while Mirio was about to ask something.

You cut the both off with a genuine smile, "No, really it's okay! It's technically regulation to get rid of the day's batch since we can't use or sell it the next day, so you'd be helping to not let some of that go to waste. Y'know, only if you want of course"

They both looked at you, watching them eagerly with your hands clasped together and a bright smile stretched across your lips. Tamaki felt his face grow hot and his heart speed up, and in a panic he gasped out and clutched his shirt, confused on this newfound feeling and not knowing what to make of it.

Mirio didn't hear any objections from his friend, so he looked over and assumed Tamaki was just panicking over the social settings again. Taking matters into his own hands once more, Mirio smiled and accepted for the both of them.

And so, that's how they walked out each with a small box of slightly stale (yet yummy) treats, courtesy of you being the kindest baker they've met so far.

They walked across the little town, the rays of the sun slowly lowering, it's golden streaks begrudgingly being torn from the surfaces it once covered. Since it was cool, people were out and about as they pleased, cleaning their shops, playing in the park, going shopping, walking pets, and so on.

The evening was nice and calm, allowing Tamaki's chaotic thoughts to settle down once again. Mirio was already eating his way through the box he was given, while Tamaki could only clutch his tightly in his grip.

He thought back to you in the bakery, with your kind smile and genuine atmosphere. Of course he noticed how everytime he became panicked your eyes would flicker over to him. Only, instead of the typical curiosity or pity, he saw something else in your expression. Relation. Familiarity. You understood how he felt, what his position was like.

The fluttering in his chest grew at the thought, and he could barely restrain this feeling of desire and longing that surrounded him everytime he thought of... You.

It was stressful and chaotic.. but it was pleasant. A feeling that wasn't like any other he's experienced before. After so many years of so much anxiety, finally getting someone who knew what it was like and finally feeling some emotion that was a joy to experience... It a freeing in a way.

The sun glittered where it sat, the golden beams of light stretching over Tamaki's face as he conclusively came to terms with what he was feeling by finally taking a bite of the cookie you gave him. And a newfound satisfaction filled his head, his emotions swirling around in a sweet mixture of chaos and joy.

After that interaction with them, you began to see the trio everyday, and they let you know that they had dubbed your bakery as their new hangout spot since they were there so often. It was never set in stone though, because sometimes you'd see all three, other times you'd just see two or one of them. Either way, it flattered you to have a new set of regulars visiting on the daily.

A new rhythm was put in place as they squeezed their way into your life, and as the weeks passed you slowly saw them less as customers, but more at friends.

You had already talked to most of them individually a few times, but you noticed that Tamaki rarely came by himself, mainly with one of the two. He talked everytime he was spoken to, but you could never get him to speak freely on his own.

Truth be told, each time Tamaki tried to approach you, his emotions would get in the way and he'd second-guess himself enough to bail out at the last moment. He couldn't even look your way without you immediately meeting his gaze and smiling, causing his brain to malfunction and his face to erupt in a shade of red. He hated how hard his heart beat in his chest whenever he entered the bakery, the mere thought of seeing you causing his mind to go into overdrive.

You on the other hand began to think his distancing was probably due to lingering anxiety, and so you wanted to do everything you could to get him to trust you more. Both his friends were naturally trusting and friendly people, so they were easy to befriend. Tamaki however, was much harder for you. He'd never reach past the initial point of politeness that you had already passed with the other two. It was shallow, and you wanted something deeper.

Each time Tamaki visited since then, he'd always be greeted first and he noticed you spoke to him much more than you did before. He couldn't shake you off, your kindness was sticky in a way, and it was hard to avoid. It only served to cause his emotions to rush about his head more aggressively, and as much as he was flattered to have your attention on him, there was only one problem. He wasn't good with attention, whether it good or bad.

Every night he laid on his bed, pondering how he would go about this. He couldn't just tell you about his feelings, what if you were just being kind because of your job? No, that wasn't an option for him, it was unprofessional.

He so desperately wanted to look you in the eyes and pour out everything that he was holding in his heart. To have your eyes set on him while he let his thoughts and feelings loose made him clutch his heart over his shirt, the mere idea thrilling but terrifying.

Every smile given his way caused his heart to thrum with elation, and every pastry you gave him made his head buzz with thoughts, always so loud and overthinking on the inside. It was a contrast only he knew of.

To be so excruciatingly chaotic and loud beneath the quiet and somber surface was nothing but a secret held past closed lips. He wanted to open up everything he held inside and let you in, you being the key to his lock. Truth be told, Tamaki was tired of holding it all in. Your welcoming nature and caring behaviors made him feel safe around you, as if he could just hug you and melt away as all his stress was lifted from him.

His thumping heart and doubtful thoughts made themselves known, and that's when he remembered what was keeping him from you. A chain of his own mind was the strongest leash that held him down. As much as he didn't want to be a prisoner of his own creation, he found that no matter how much he struggled he just couldn't loosen the reigns that his mind held over his heart.

And so, all he could do was to continue visiting the bakery, simply being glad to see your face wherever he could. Your sweet remarks were what made his day, being music to his ears. Tamaki had never met such a kind soul before, and he was absolutely captivated by your charms.

Soon enough, he began visiting more frequently on his own, and you were thrilled with the thought that he was getting more comfortable around you. Each time he visited you'd always send him with a little goodie bag with a pastry or two, something that you normally wouldn't do for just anyone.

There were only a few key encounters that you remembered with him. One was when you were closing up, with Tamaki sitting at one of the tables and keeping you company since you were by yourself that night. You had to walk home since the train was down that day, and Tamaki had offered to walk you there - for safety, of course.

"Are you sure?"

You hadn't wanted to push him so far out of his comfort zone.

"...It's dark. It wouldn't be safe you to walk on your own. Sorry."

And so you accepted, the two of you walking side by side until you got to where you lived. It was the fact that it was something out of the ordinary that made the memory so important to you. Along with the realization that he had come to you on his own advances, surely that could be a sign of acceptance or comfort?

Either way, you cherished the thought, and you held onto it with a rigorous hope blooming in your heart, growing only with each interaction.

As time moved on, the three continued visiting as much as they could, and you even spent some time with them outside of the bakery. Small festivities were being held since the one and only Golden Week was coming up, and they each invited you to come with them to the festivals and parades in the coming week.

The air buzzed with excitement, and the bakery was swamped with cheerful orders as people planned out their celebrations. You even had to go as far as pushing back your closing time just to accommodate all the orders, but you didn't mind too much since it was all in great spirit.

The end of the day approached much faster than you had realized, and you only came to know this due to the trio arriving at their usual time at the end of the day.

"Wow! It's crowded in here! Looks like you're gonna be busy for awhile, huh?" Just the same, Mirio was the first to greet you, with Nejire piping up behind him.

"O-oh, so does that mean you can't hang out?" She asked with slight dejection in her tone, yet it wasn't as prominent as her air of glee that nearly shadowed the small negative moment.

You looked at them with an apologetic smile, promising to take a day off to spend time with them at the festival. They both smiled in response, and Mirio went to Tamaki to hear his thoughts on the idea.

"That sounds fine with us! You can't control work after all, what do you think- ...Tamaki?" Your attention was directed to where the taller boy was looking behind him, and you three were all met with nothing. He wasn't there.

"Hm, I swear he was with us when we arrived!" Mirio's expression was now one of confusion, his brows furrowing.

"Yeah, I wonder- Oh! There he is!" Nejire began, then turned to point outside the door to see the missing boy still standing at the entrance - hands in pockets and trembling slightly.

The three of you turned to see what she was pointing at, and you huffed out a small laugh, realizing that so many people in one area would naturally be Tamaki repellent. So in a way you had no idea what you were expecting, but you weren't upset with the thought - just a little amused.

"Well, I guess that's where he is. I'll be sure to tell him, and we'll come back when it dies down, thanks for having us!" Mirio waved his hand as he held open the entrance door, Nejire skipping out and then waving from behind the glass window (shouting a muffled "bye bye!" that you couldn't fully hear due to the surrounding chatter).

You watched them go for a second, then realized something as Tamaki's eyes sorrowfully met yours, clearly upset with his timidness that caused him to not be able to see you properly due to his apprehensive feelings of being around large crowds.

It was the same look he had in the beginning when you first met him, one of utter powerlessness and regret. You weren't about to undo all the hard work you had built up to befriending him, so you rushed out with a small bag of goodies to help remind him of all your chats and walks.

"Tamaki-kun! Please wait!" The trio all turned almost immediately upon hearing your voice, Tamaki being the quickest to come to a halt and whip around. You were calling out for him, for him. Looking closer, he saw the typical goodie bag and understood your intentions.

"Here." You grabbed his hands and placed the bag gently in them, giving them a squeeze before waving bye to them and rushing back inside to assist your coworkers with the rush.

Tamaki was frozen in place. You held his hands. He couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it if it didn't just happen in front of him. Mirio and Nejire both looked over, curious at the new information. Mirio then grinned as he realized what was going on, nudging his friend in the side with good hearted intentions.

"So-o~" Tamaki frowned at his friend's teasing voice, directing the gift away from his sight only for Nejire to approach him on his other side and attempt to grab the bag from him with gleeful curiosity.

"It's nothing, seriously" Mirio didn't seem to believe him as he looked at him with a smug grin and waved his eyebrows. Tamaki furrowed his own, and Mirio silently responded with a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders. Before anything else could be said, Nejire turned at Mirio and they both shared a look of understanding before Mirio patted Tamaki and the shoulder.

"Alright, alright, if you say so~"

"I'm serious, Mirio-" He cut Tamaki off with a wave of the hand.

"Yeah, like I said, I get it. We'll just all hang out some other time, 'kay?"

And with that they all walked off, yet Tamaki couldn't forget the expression the two of his friends held, knowing they were always up to something. He'd just have to hope it wasn't anything bad.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

The next morning things began to slow down because your bakery was taking a day off to restock and prepare for the upcoming influx of orders, one of the biggest times of year - only coming second to Christmas and New Years.

It was your favorite kind of day, a day filled with no orders or customers, just baking and decorations and preparing. It was all hands on deck, the bakery set up to be swarmed with workers in the upcoming hours. You had come early to set things up, seeing as you had nothing else planned that day.

As you reached the entrance, you fumbled around your pocket for the key, the feeling of some unknown paper catching your attention. You huffed to yourself, hoping you didn't forget some wrappers in there again, only to be met with a neatly folded note upon pulling it out.

Catching you off guard, you nearly forgot to open up the bakery if it weren't for the sudden clank of your keys hitting the cement as they fell out of your pocket. Opening the doors and setting your things down, you finally unfolded the note to read its contents.

"Dear [Name],

When I first met you, you were the sweetest person I had ever met. You saw something in me others didn't. Your baking skills are unmatched, and your desserts are like little pieces of heaven. I always look forward to coming to the bakery just to see you.

If you want to find me, follow the upcoming clues. Find the next clue where you usually get your special ingredients.

- Your Secret Admirer"

Red began to coat your cheeks as your face warmed upon reading the note. Rereading it over another two times to make sure you didn't miss anything, you simply stood in shock, not knowing what to make it the sudden event.

It couldn't have been a person playing a prank, right? But then, why would they go through the efforts to write such a sweet note? It didn't make any sense to you... and all of a sudden it hit you. What if Tamaki-...?

Shaking your head, you pushed the thought away. He could've... He wouldn't... Right? But it did make sense with how shy he was... But he's not the type to do that! Right?

For a split second you considered dumping the note somewhere and starting work, when a flicker of curiosity got sparked on by a sliver of hope.

Maybe...

You'd give it a shot, after all what harm could a little game cause? Hopefully it'd be quick.

You read over the note once more, and immediately pinpointed the spot, as the "special ingredients" of yours were simply things that were prepared for the festivals.

You went out to the kitchen, and as you opened the pantry you saw white in the corner of your eye.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Meanwhile, Tamaki was getting ready to walk back to his home after training at UA - a daily occurrence on weekend mornings. Packing his things in his duffle bag, he jumped a bit upon hearing a crinkling after shoving a piece of his equipment in the bag. Hoping he didn't forget or damage something important, he took out a few things one at a time until he found the source.

A cute little note was sitting in his bag, surrounded by his clothes and training gear. A shiny red heart sticker decorated the front flap, and it was milk white. Not being able to do anything but stare at it in shock, Tamaki swallowed thickly, the note seemingly weighing heavily upon him.

He gently brought it out, hands shaking as he looked at it. His mind once again went into overdrive, thoughts pushing in and flying out all around his head.

On one hand, he didn't want to raise his hopes up only to be crushed. He was given enough joke letters in middle school to know better, and the memories of it caused him to break into a cold sweat as he stared the note in indecisive agony.

Then again... There was the (ever so small) chance that it could've been real. He didn't want to think about the logic, Tamaki only wanted this to end without anything bad happening. There was no shame in opening it, after all.

He delicately unfolded the note, taking a deep breath before reading its contents.

"My dear Tamaki,

You're always one of my favorite faces to see each day. You light up my day and you have the true heart of a hero!

If you want to find me, follow these clues: To find the next note, go to the spot that's filled with life in the air fluttering around you.

I look forward to seeing you!

~ Your Secret Admirer "

Nope. He couldn't do it. A simple note was one thing, but a whole search was another. What if he was led on? What if it was nothing but a prank? No, he couldn't handle the embarrassment.

He folded it and put it in his pocket, hiking his bag over his shoulder as he left UA high. As he made his way throughout the streets, he couldn't help but continually think about that note.

What if it really was someone that made it for him out of love? What if they were waiting somewhere for him? And how disappointed would they be if he didn't show up?! They'd think he was a jerk!

Tamaki stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and gripped his bag tighter under his hands. Looking down at the ground with an agonized expression, he didn't know what to do. He didn't like drama, and he certainly didn't want to in middle of something like this, completely the dark.

Well.. 'fluttering'...

He had a small idea of where the other note might've been. Maybe taking a small detour wouldn't hurt...

Tamaki breathed in to ease his nerves. If it got to be too much he wouldn't push himself, he'd just quit.

He turned and made his way to the park, heading straight for his favorite area where the butterflies liked to group since there were clusters of flowers over there. He looked around, in no hurry and simply enjoying scenery. That's when he saw a note taped to the large oak tree- right where he liked to sit and do his work sometimes.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

You turned to see the note that was sitting ever so delicately over the ingredients. You plucked it off from the wall it was taped to, and quickly opened it to read it.

"Dear [Name],

Your bright personality fills my day with joy. The way you treat your customers shows me you have a big heart of gold. You're much too sweet for this world!

The next note is placed where a statue of gold stands with its fist in the air.

See you there! ♡

~ Your ever so loving Admirer "

Gold? Gold... You thought about it for a second before immediately remembering the All Might statue that stood on the center of taken, decked completely in gold paint.

Town square... You knew it'd be quite busy with preparations and festivals, but you still went seeing as it was close by. Your coworkers were doing just fine, and everything was ahead of schedule, so why not?

A quick trip on your bike and you were there. The area was buzzing with activity, and you had to swerve around groups of people just to get to the statue.

Upon arrival, you looked up at the statue standing mighty and towering over everyone. Some people had placed Boy's Day carp streamers on the sides and some necklaces on the neck of the golden All Might. You laughed a little, enjoying how he was always decorated, before circling around to search for the note.

Panic began to seep through you as you circled twice and came across no sign of a note. They said golden, right? You knew of no other golden statue in the area, the only other one being a golden flame all the way in Tokyo.

Your eyebrows creased, and worry gnawed at you as you frantically searched all over the statue. Only to come up with nothing. Was this it?

Sighing, you turned to leave, disappointment weighing heavily upon your heart. Before you could take more than 3 steps, a sudden tap on your shoulder caught you off guard, and you turned to see a friendly looking lady smiling at you while offering you something. Initially thinking it was a free sample, you tried to decline, only for your eyes to widen in realization. Looking closer, you saw that she was holding a white letter with a shiny red heart sticker holding it closed.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

As Tamaki went over to the tree to pull off the note, he began to hope that all this wasn't some elaborate trick. From all the little notes you put in the bags you gave him that held the pastries, he began to suspect this wasn't even the same handwriting.

He opened the note to read it, hoping this game wasn't going to last too long. It was beginning to get tiring living in a state that was a mixture of hope and worry.

"Dear Tamaki,

I'm so proud of you combating your anxious thoughts everyday, I know it's hard. Your courageousness certainly benefits! You help so many people each day, you're a true hero, through and through!

Go find next note where you took down your first villain. See you there!

~ Someone who admires you with all their heart"

These notes were getting to be too much for him. Why did this have to happen? He finally catches the eye of someone, and he can't even know who they are unless he plays this game.

It was a little enjoyable though, the unfamiliar events causing him to rethink so many aspects he once held about himself and his life. It was eye opening, too bad it had to be shoved in his face for him to see it.

Gently folding the note and placing it with the others in his pocket, he sat back and thought. Now.. where did he take down his first villain? What could be considered his first win?

The more he thought about it, the more shocked he grew at the number of things he's accomplished over the years. He didn't think it all added up to much, but just trying to remember a certain event that happened his first year of secondary school all seemed like so much alone.

Racking his brain, he came up with a small list of villains he took down around the same time.

There were three instances he remembered, but he just couldn't pinpoint the first if asked. Panic ensued, and he started hyperventilating until he calmed himself down.

'Let's think logically now...'

The first one was more of a con-man than a hero, tricking innocent civilians into believing his lies about heroes and trying to get people to buy his quirk supplements. Tamaki scratched that one off the list, the man put up no fight.

The second one was a cult member who believed quirks were the downfall of society. She had set up an elaborate trap in the center of town, where numerous stands, shops, and people were. It was busy, with vendors selling food, ingredients, and supplies.

She had tried building several barricades around the area and blowing it up, but ultimately failed after Tamaki got to her first. Now that he thought about it, he remembered that in a last ditch attempt she had grabbed a hostage and threatened to use her quirk on them. He was sure he had taken the lady down himself.

Then the third was simply a person who could alter photos on any piece of media. They had tried violently assaulting a hero to frame them and pretend that heroes hurt innocent civilians unprovoked. Tamaki was quick to take them down, even with as sneaky and sly as they were with escaping.

Picking through his options, he decided to go with the second one. The one in town square. The place that was currently crowded full of people celebrating Golden Week...

He gulped at the thought.

The white paper crinkled and deformed in his shaking grip as he clutched it tighter unconsciously at the thought. He'd only have this one chance find out if it was worth it...

Truth be told, Tamaki knew he had to train himself on getting better on dealing with crowded spaces, seeing as he going to be a full fledged hero one day. He just didn't think it'd be so soon.

It was now or never...

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

You looked at the note the mysterious lady had given you with a blank expression. It held no letters of affirmation like the others except for an "Almost there!".

On it was a map. A map you weren't familiar with. You recognized the very place you were standing, and decided to break it down into chunks. You saw the statue... And took a few steps in the direction of the arrows until you saw a crooked sign that matched the one on the map. One step at a time, you followed the steps on the map to the best of your ability.

It was entertaining in a way, as it reminded you of the pirates you always on the TV when you were little. In a way, you were also hunting for a treasure - it was just a little different than gold coins and shiny jewels.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Tamaki stood frozen. All around him people bustled about, swerving around him, running past him, carrying heavy, hot, or delicate containers. Talking in loud voices, singing songs, placing decorations on things, running around... It was overwhelming.

For a split second Tamaki wondered if he was in too deep and debated on whether or not he should leave.

'No... It'd be silly to give up this far...'

Steeling himself the best he could, he breathed in and tried to ignore the crowd that caused his body to shake with nerves.

He stuck close to the walls, looking around for a clue, any clue. This letter was so vague, he would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about finding it out not. Even if he were to ask for help, the number of people that would actually be able to direct him or do anything helpful would be too tiny to risk sounding foolish.

Sighing out tiredly, he looked at the sky to see sun lowering. Not to the point to where it was dark, but just enough so it surprised him with how long he had been playing this game. No, he definitely couldn't quit now.

A tap on his shoulder caught him off guard, and he almost jumped into the air if he hadn't been on guard all day. Turning around, he saw no one. Now this was confusing. He simply scratched his head and supposed it was someone playing that tap shoulder game.

Well, he did at first. Until he looked down and saw a note left sitting on the edge of the golden statue, almost as if it was waiting for him. He groaned, knowing what he had to do.

Tamaki clenched his jaw, and hesitantly pushed his way through the crowd of people. Slowly... Slowly... A sharp contrast to the hurried, constantly flowing around him.

People pushed and pulled, the crowd moving in an almost hypnotic manner. It was as if it was alive, like a river winding down the roads of the city. A sea of people that threatened to swallow Tamaki in its deep, dark waters. It swelled, it shrunk. It swerved and straightened. It was like he was looking the beast of his fear directly in its glowing eyes.

And it looked back.

What was supposed to be a short walk normally was stretched out beyond, due to the fact Tamaki had to shuffle around so many bodies that brushed against his.

Closing his eyes, he reminded himself.

'I can do this...'

Opening them, he almost didn't believe it as he looked at statue that sat directly in front of him. He had so many worries and anxious thoughts about whether he could, he didn't stop think about what would happen if he did.

And yet, he was there. The white paper in between his fingertips bearing the weight of his struggles.

He opened it, only to be greeted with a congratulations and a map...

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

You had struggled a bit and had to restart after mistaking a certain shop for the one on the map. This time, you decided you'd give it your all.

The sun was setting lower and lower in the sky, the purple color taking place of the bright orange, and the darker blue (that was almost black) taking place of the purple.

Slowly, more and more lights began flickering to life, and you panicked once again, hoping you weren't slowing things down.

Step by step, slowly but surely you eventually followed the landmarks in a chain, one by one. You let the guide lead you up to a grassy hill in the park next to town, right at a point where you could see both the town festivities and what went on in the grassy field on the other side.

It was a beautiful sight. The sun lowering with the creamy beige and pink clouds surrounding it, the flickering lights as they began to be turned on, streamers and kites rising above the city... It was magical.

You stood, simply enjoying view. You had already saw the note sitting on the tree that stated you had reached the final destination. But you weren't too bothered with that anymore.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Tamaki grunted, frowning at the map as he nervously sped around the landmarks it read. He didn't know what was expecting him, but he was tired and the anxiety of not knowing what it was drained him further. He clung onto the hope that whatever it was, it was worth the effort. He didn't know what he'd do if it was all a joke. The pain would be monumental.

He passed the statue. He curved around the bent sign. He walked past the shop. Following all these steps diligently, Tamaki was determined to make the most of his time and effort. It had to be worth it. He really hoped so.

As he was walking, Tamaki began thinking. That villain he took down... Memories began surfacing, vague and fuzzy. It was difficult, trying to bring something into sight when you can't even remember what it was you wanted to see. The more he thought, the more a distant shape began to take place, unstable and quick to fall apart if looked at too long, too delicate to handle.

Now that he thought about it, your face looked so favorite familiar...

However, Tamaki didn't have much time to think about it as he looked up to see a grassy hill - the end point of this whole thing.

He stalled, now suddenly feeling shy and timid. He remembered the initial fears he had when he first started this game, and now he didn't know what he should do.

Only, he looked up at the hill, and those fears went away. Because standing at the top, in all your glory... Was you.

You were looking off to the side, looking at the beautiful scene that played out in front of you, the golden and orange colors of the setting sun swathing you in its sheet of light, only serving to further cement the look of grace and elegance that surrounded you. You hadn't noticed him standing at the bottom of the hill, too occupied with the gentle landscape ahead of you, a look of bliss adorning your face.

And at that moment, for the first time Tamaki felt... Calm.

Calm when normally his heart would be breathing out of his chest.

Calm when normally he would've broken out into a cold sweat.

Calm when normally his head would be barraging him with terrible, fearful thoughts.

All he felt was at ease. And it was amazing, astounding even. He normally only felt comfortable whenever he was at his own house, alone.

Yet, looking at you gave him a sense of comfort, a feeling that he couldn't explain, only feel and experience.

And that's when he remembered.

All those years ago during his first year of UA, he had started interning with Fatgum. His anxiety back then was eternally much, much, worse. So much farther behind his peers, Tamaki had wondered if he'd even make it out as a hero. When all his classmates were already being seen as future heroes, when they had already taken down too many criminals and villains to count... He was still hiding his face in the wall.

He wasn't even on the clock that day, he had just been strolling around and enjoying a calm, cool day. It began to get crowded, and naturally he went to leave to somewhere less populated.

And that's when he ran into a shady figure with the same idea. There was a lady who had been walking around, hands in pockets and head down. He knew something was wrong, but he doubted his judgement.

The actual fight was blurry, he didn't remember much of that. Just the fact that he saw her placing what he knew was explosives, and a chase ensued where he also saw her locking in gates, doors, and walls to keep people from escaping.

He had looked around for a hero, nervous about whether or not he could actually do this alone. All his classmates at least had the wisdom of their mentors at their side... He was alone.

He had to steel himself that day for the first time. He had to scream at himself in his head that if he didn't do something because of his anxiety, people would die.

And he fought. And he was ahead. He was winning. The lady wasn't the best with combat, but she still put up quite a fight. Yet, Tamaki was winning, he had the upper hand. It was thrilling, yet terrifying. But still, he'd do it again to prevent the deaths of innocent people.

However at that moment, the lady split off and ran into the crowd, and Tamaki followed her without thought. He only knew something was up when a ring of shouting and worried people started to form, and he had followed the crowd. Only to see the lady holding a random person she had grabbed from the crowd, holding her hand against their head. And that person..

Was you.

It was you.. Tamaki couldn't believe he forgot. He knew your face looked familiar.

He had defeated the lady, and you had thanked him in abundance, a sweet smile decorating your relieved face.

After that, you had walked off. Only, right before that he remembered you had reached into your bag to hand him something.

What was it again?

Tamaki toiled adamantly, trying to piece together the random floating fragments of memories that flew around the vastness of his head. He thought about the past and the present, trying to come to a logical result.

Was it a trinket? No, he would've kept it.

How about a small drawing or something? No, he wouldn't put it in his pocket, and he remembered there was nothing in there.

What was it? You were a baker, so he began to believe it was a treat of some sort...

He gasped lightly to himself. That's why it all looked so familiar.

It a cookie... Decorated to look like a cat.

Too many things clashed together at once, and all Tamaki could do was look up at you in awe and nostalgia. The sounds around the park had subsided as it was getting darker, people all going inside to prepare before going to come out again in some time.

The empty air whistled around, rustling the trees and giving a slight chill to the both of you as the sun lowered even further into the darkness - not quite gone, yet not quite there.

He looked up at you solemnly once more, taking in a heavy breath as he shook at the implications that awaited him. He looked back to the time you rushed out of the bakery just for him. You had run out to still include him, even if he shied away due to his anxious thoughts.

Now it was his turn.

He walked up the hill, step by step. Bit by bit.

The entire way there he didn't take his eyes off you, not even once. His thoughts were screaming at him in his head, and his face was practically lit aflame. Yet he walked up to you with the practiced stride of that of a hero who had a deep focus he intended to complete.

You watched the sun slowly lowering, the light quivering and distorting the lower it got to the bottom of the horizon. The largest stars began to litter the sky, a balance of grey in a black and white world. Where it's not yet day, nor night.

A slight crunching off to the side caught your attention, and it suddenly hit you. You remembered the game you had played, and you stilled for a second in confusion before turning to see the source of the noise.

Eyes widening in surprise, your breath hitched as you came eye-to-eye with the person you had been wanting to see all day.

Tamaki came to a slow halt once he stood directly across from you. Neither had expected to get this far, yet it was equally desired.

Tamaki's hands broke out into a cold sweat as he trembled in place, scared yet still determined. Your heart hammered in your chest, a look of wonder taking hold of your expression.

"I-"

"You-"

Looking at each other with a bewildered appearance, a grin suddenly formed across your face as you broke out into a fit of snickers, Tamaki joining in with that crooked smile of his. He was eternally grateful you knew how to defuse his nervousness, even without particularly trying.

"I suppose... You got the notes too?"

You chuckled a bit, rubbing the back of your neck. "Yeah, I don't suppose you were the one responsible for them?"

He shook his head, a knowing smile growing on the both of your faces as you recalled two particularly mischievous friends of yours.

"No, it wasn't me, sorry."

He swallowed thickly, quickly deciding to get this over with.

"But..."

He choked on his words a bit, the idea and fear of rejection taking hold once again. He loved having you as a friend, and while the idea of being something more was certainly appealing, he couldn't risk losing what he already had. It was terrifying. Even with that small part that constantly screamed for him to get over it.

You smiled softly, a silent understanding. "But..." You parroted, stepping forward and gently taking his hand in yours.

He felt the connection, and you both went silent, only looking at your intertwined hands. He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to force the words out. All that came out was his hand enclosing yours.

Yet it spoke so much more than words could've.

The sun had completely gone down at this point, leaving the two of you to depend on the few surrounding street lights that were placed farther below. The darkness was comforting in a way, and Tamaki felt a little more at ease without his sight constantly worrying him.

If he looked closely enough however, he could trace the outlines of your face, the soft light of the curved moon lighting up the edges of your jaw and nose, along with adding a slight shimmer to your eyes. The darkness took away most of his sight, but it strengthened his other senses. Such as the feeling of your warm, soft hand in his.

The cool breeze blew by once more. A setting that Tamaki knew he was comfortable with.

You were about to say something, when you felt a gentle tug on your hand. Looking back up, you saw the silhouette of Tamaki looking back at you, gesturing gently downwards towards an empty field of grass at the bottom of the hill.

You silently followed, a giddy grin on your face and fuzzy feelings in your stomach. You both stumbled down, softly laughing at the clumsiness caused because of the lack of light. Your laughter rang out like sweet chimes and bells to Tamaki, and he wanted to hear more. He wanted to see you smile more. For you to be more content. All around him, with him, because of him.

You both came to a stop in the middle of the flourishing grassy area, filled with moist plants trying to cling to your legs and the calming aroma that was caused from the rain that fell the night before. You giggled and grabbed Tamaki's other hand, unknowingly giving him a slight confidence boost that was so badly needed for him.

He smiled at your cheerful state, thrilled that this wasn't going bad as he feared. He looked at you directly, silently diverting your attention to him. Tamaki smiled kindly before turning to look at the expanse of grass that grew tall and short all around you.

You turned to try to see what he was looking at, and Tamaki looked at you from the corner of his eye with a tender smile before softly brushing his arm over some of the taller grasses that grew, causing them to gently sway. You were about to ask him the reasoning behind his odd behavior, but your question died out before you could get it out of your throat.

What had caught your attention was little yellow and golden glowing specks that flickered to life before hazily floating around in the air, some almost as if they were half asleep, others shooting around as if they were a coiled spring waiting to jump to life.

They were fireflies. Tons of them.

You looked up around you in awe, and for a split second Tamaki was grateful for his secluded lifestyle, only knowing of this trick after years of visiting this grassy plain since he was a child. It was a secret only few knew of, and he was more than willing to share it with you. The look on your face caused him no regrets - a first in his life.

You continued looking around at the fluttering orbs of light, their soft glows weakly illuminating the area. It was surreal in a way, and the constant feeling that you were floating around in outer space never left you.

Letting out a soft chuckle, Tamaki gingerly squeezed your hand a little, seeing no way in which he'd allow this moment to be ruined by his nervous thoughts.

Laughing in response, you grabbed his hand tighter in yours, and with you leading the way you both walked around the field together, igniting many more of the fireflies to begin flying around at the disturbance in the grass. All around you now they fluttered, their glow flickering and buzzing. It was as if little stars were surrounding you, always in constant motion.

The sounds of the people beginning to come out started trickling in, fading in from small laughs and chatting and growing into an inferno of singing, clanking, yells and screeches of joy from little children and the barking of a random dog every now and then. The festivals were starting, but luckily they were held on the other side of the park, it being split in two by a thick layer of trees heavy with leaves.

Your attention was brought back to Tamaki again as he feebly tugged your hand once more, avoiding eye contact with you when you turned by directing his attention to ground, timidly rubbing the nape of his neck.

Reaching out a hand, you softly brought his head up to look you in the eyes, offering him a kind smile when he followed suit. He felt inside of his mouth grow dry and his heart skipped a beat. You looked too lovely for him to handle, the light caused by the flames of the lamps being set out illuminating you in a dreamlike manner.

"So... About those notes" you started.

His eyes flickered up to yours for a second before just as quickly flittering back away. "I'm sorry if they caused any trouble... "

He looked down further at the ground, the swaying grass helping to comfort him a bit. He liked being outdoors, being one with nature.

"But... Whatever they held... Ne-never compared to how I really feel about you"

Darn, the stuttering was kicking in. He needed to get his words out or it'll get worse. He didn't think he'd be able to bear the embarrassment.

"Tamaki-"

He grabbed your other hand in shaking grip. All inside, his body and mind was going into overdrive, he was melting from the inside out. His brain screamed and his body trembled. Things were falling apart, deteriorating. But he wasn't going to leave without you at least knowing how he felt. He was terrified. But bravery isn't the absence of fear. It's being courageous in the company of fear. Fatgum taught him that.

Time to be brave.

"I can't keep this from you anymore, and-and I'll understand if you don't feel the same. I-I'll get it..."

He took a deep breath before looking you in the eyes.

"I really don't want to lose you... So ple-please, if this is stupid, please tell me now. I want you in my life anyway I can-"

Before he finished you squeezed his hands, cutting him off. "I can never leave you. I never want you to worry about that, okay?" Your voice was soft and serene.

Tamaki gulped and nodded. "I have this weird feeling when i'm with you, I can't explain it, but I know it's a good feeling..."

"...So please... [Name]"

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to get it out quickly enough before his mind could retort.

"Iloveyousorry.." (I love you, sorry)

He froze in place, not even bothering trying to take his hands back from you to his side. He simply stilled, every inch of him frozen in terror, worry, and anticipation. He's never even felt this anxious over any of the villains he fought.

A thick silence weighed down upon the two of you as you tried to take it all in. It was heavy, the sheer power of three simple words.

You could see Tamaki beginning to shake more and more, and through his shut eyes you saw small tears forming. Quickly jumping into action, you attempted to calm him down.

"Hey... calm down, it's okay." You rubbed his hands in yours with your thumb, trying to urge him to look up at you. He didn't speak, only shaking his head to the side a bit.

"Tamaki..."

You looked down at the ground too, your own stomach fluttering and heart thumping in your chest. Now it's your turn.

"I... I love you too."

Clearly not expecting that response, Tamaki blinked opened his eyes, slowly pulling his head back up to look at you once again. He looked at you in silence for a second, caught off guard by the response.

"You.." he then pointed to himself, dazed. "M-me...?"

You shook your head, chuckling a little.

"Yes, you. Yes, I love you. It's always been you, just you and only you..."

"You're everything I've always wanted and more..." He whispered lightly, stunned and barely holding it all together. He felt lightheaded, and drunk on joy. His heart no longer beat in aching desperation, but rather now for you. His mind no longer screamed at him but rather sat silently, you being the only one that was able to make the painful words disappear.

The wind bristled the leaves of the trees and caused the tall blades of grass surrounding you to flutter and quiver. Someone was cooking something nearby, because the smell of warm cooked foods wafted through the air. Laughter rung about and filled the area with a sense of comfort.

Time seemed to freeze around the both of you, the feeling of being the only ones to exist engulfing you both entirely as you looked each other eye in loving eye.

You both seemed to be drawn in by each other's presence, as if a magnet was pulling you towards each other. Soon enough, you both were barely inches from each other. You looked up at him, simply enjoying each other's company in comfortable silence.

"Can I... Can I hug you?" You broke the barrier with your question, and for the first time Tamaki saw you nervous. You, the one who was just as boisterous as Mirio and Nejire. You, who was friendly with everyone you ran into. You, who was now standing in front of him, fiddling with your fingers in his hands and switching your weight on each foot as you fidgeted from side to side.

He shook his head, a small tender smile growing on face. "I'd like that..."

You leaned in, a little surprised to see Tamaki leaning in as well to meet you halfway. Both your arms wrapped around each other in a loving, silent embrace. He rested his head on your shoulder, and you noticed his grip was light, too afraid of squeezing you too tight.

Staying that way for a couple minutes, you both visibly relaxed at the relief that came with the realization that it was all over. No more games. No more desperate pinning. No more lonely heartaches. You had him and he had you.

Feeling Tamaki begin to pull away slightly, both your faces warmed when you realized just how close you both were. He stuttered a bit, quietly to himself, before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Can I... - no sorry, forget I said anything"

He tried diverting his attention to the ground again, although you noticed he never removed his arms from around you, both not wanting to leave the warmth and comfort of the other. You gently brought him to face you again.

"No, no... You can ask me anything. Please don't worry about any judgment from me, I'm not going to get upset with you."

He slightly brought in some air through his teeth, creating a light hissing sound as he debated over it, ultimately deciding to go for it.

"May I... I-is it if I kiss you?" His voice grew quieter as he spoke, until it was almost unintelligible at the end - which it possibly would've been if you weren't so close to him.

Your face warmed as your heart hammered away once again, a shy smile forming on your lips.

"I'd... Like that. Please"

He nodded, and without any further words leaned in, connecting to you in a quick, sweet peck. He pulled away for a second, but you leaned in and crashed your lips against his once more. He froze for a second, face burning hot, before finally melting into your embrace. His hand moved from around your back to settling on your waist, content and comfortable.

The moment was tender and soft, and the two of you were too wrapped up in each other to pay any attention to the fireworks that blazed across the sky in their colorful glory, marking the peak of the festival.

Pulling away, you both looked at each other for a split second, before Tamaki burst into red, pulling you a little closer and nuzzling his head in the crook of your neck, the red reaching all the way up to his ears.

You simply held him close just as he did to you as well, both reveling in the loving solace you brought one another. The fireworks continued to go off. The fireflies were still flickering. People were laughing, and music was still being played.

You smiled as you turned to Tamaki, the smile growing at how content he was while holding you in his arms.

"Tamaki...?"

He opened his eyes, pulling away to look at you clearly. "Yes?"

"Do you want to go look at to festival with me?"

At that moment Tamaki realized just how drained he was. That game had taken most of the day to complete, and being constantly surrounded by people along with the anxiety that was brought on by his worrying about confessing only served to drain him further.

"I'm a little tired..."

"It's alright, we can get something to eat and then head home."

He smiled softly and held you tenderly, completely enamored by how you were so loving and kind.

"I'd like that..."

•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"So-o ~"

Mirio teased Tamaki as they walked through the hallways to the cafeteria.

"I-it's nothing, Mirio" Tamaki groaned in response, regretting having let his friends in on what had went down only a few nights before.

You had both agreed to start seeing each other officially, and soon enough Tamaki became a regular at the bakery you worked at, much to Mirio's and Nejire's delight.

"Seems like it's something to me!"

Nejire piped, am equally teasing look on her face as well.

Tamaki could only groan and hide his face in his hands as Mirio and Nejire congratulated him, with Mirio patting him in the back with his good hearted nature.

Tamaki was eternally grateful he had you in his life. You helped him see things about himself he never knew before, helping to boost his confidence a smidge along with easing his anxiety levels. In a way, you were his new emotional comfort, no longer needing to hide his face in the walls as much (he'd just go to you for a hug instead).

And it was all because of a little cat cookie.

∴∵∴ ୨୧ ∴∵∴ ୨୧ ∴∵∴ ୨୧ ∴∴∵∴ ୨୧ ∴∵∴ ୨୧ ∴∵∴

BONUS:

"I knew she looked familiar!" The blue haired girl exclaimed.

"Yeah, but he's never going to admit he has feelings for her anytime soon, you have any ideas?" The blond boy questioned, his finger on his chin.

"Ooh! I know! What if we write them confession letters, and sign them from each other!" The girl came up with.

"Hmm, I was going to say Scavenger Hunt, but I like that idea too"

The girl hummed in thought, when a mischievous smile broke out across her face.

"Why don't we combine them?"

The blond chuckled, an equally wily smile growing on his own face as well, his blue eyes sparkling playfully.

"I like the sound of that. They'll be sure to have lots of fun!"

Fun for them, maybe.

A/N:

I'm sorry if that wasn't the best! It's not exactly what I normally write, but it was still such fun writing anyways! ୧꒰*´꒳`*꒱૭✧

Also for some reason a lot of my friends were particularly interested in seeing how this one turned out [probably because it's the first romance I've written wwww ( ´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠) ]

I hope you liked this at least a little, I tried rather hard with this one because I wanted it to be realistic but not boring, and fluffy but not embarrassing to read ヾ（´▽｀）

Requests are open! Tags are open! Feel free to ask anything or let me know of any feedback/comments you have! I appreciate it a lot! (ृ´͈ ᵕ `͈ ृ )

Thank you all again! I hope you have a lovely day! ⁠♡

年2023/月05/日10

[literallykenmaandshoyo]

I'll Know

Tendou Satori x Female!Reader

Warnings: Language, outdoor blowjob, creampie, cum swallowing, oral (male and female receiving), lots and lots of praise!! I wrote Satori as reader's first intimate partner! Just smutty smut smut smut lolol

Word Count: 3.3k

Author's note: Oh my god, it's been so so long since I've posted a fic on here this is insane. College and life have been so so hectic and I completely forgot about the page Mod Kenma and I made :,) Mod Kenma is so good with keeping consistent and everything on here and I'm going to try and do the same since I've found myself writing with them a lot more now! I'm so sorry for the long hiatus, but I wrote this fic a couple of weeks ago and thought it would be a nice way to start my comeback! I hope you all know that you're more than welcome to request anything from me, just make sure you specify that you want it written by me haha! I hope you enjoy the smut, I had so much fun writing it!!

I'd love to hear everyone's feedback on this, so don't hesitate to let me know on how I can make things better or if you enjoyed it!

~Mod Shoyo <3

The bright lights of Shiratorizawa’s gym hurt Y/N’s eyes as she walked inside. Today, the volleyball club was going to be hosting a late night practice. Normally, Friday nights were reserved for date nights between Y/N and Satori, but she never ever minded coming to watch Tendou practice. There was no hiding how she really felt about watching him practice.

It got her going.

Something about her tall, lanky boyfriend sweating his ass off playing sports just did something to her. She was well aware of this feeling and found it slightly funny every time Satori tried to push practice to the side for her. “Now, why would you do that, ‘Tori? Volleyball is your passion. I really don’t mind staying for a couple hours to watch you and then getting to hang out with you after!”

Tendou always appreciated Y/N so much more when she said things like that. Little did he know that he was only fueling her drive to chase him. To jump his bones the second that he was finished with his practice. Tonight was no different. Y/N came waltzing into the gym in her black t-shirt dress, her eyes darting across every single body she saw to search for her boyfriend. The second that Tendou noticed her, his posture stiffened and he made a bee-line straight towards her.

“Well, look at you in that black dress of yours,” Tendou flirted, his tone light and playful but his voice was resting in a deeper part of his throat. “Don’t you look delicious.”

Y/N blushed and stood on her tippy toes to kiss him. He smirked against her kiss and brought his right arm around her waist to pull her close to him while his other arm carried his water bottle. The second they pulled away, she could already feel herself getting riled up. His normally spiked up hair was sitting slightly damp now. Most of it was still intact, but some of the front strands were sticking to his forehead, absolutely drenched in sweat.

“How’s practice going, baby?” Y/N smiled, her eyes too focused on his sweat than his actual ruby orbs. 

“Coach had us do some punishments because Goshiki didn’t receive a ball correctly,” Tendou tossed a look over to Goshiki who was cowering in a corner, gripping a ball tightly in between his hands cursing himself. “Other than that, It’s going pretty average.”

Y/N smiled and nodded her head. “Well, go knock ‘em dead baby, I’ll be right here watching!”

Tendou grinned from ear to ear and stooped down to press one last kiss to her lips. As Tendou turned on his heel to start running back, Y/N leaned forward and laid a harsh slap on his ass to motivate him. Tendou turned slowly with a smirk and walked back towards her. He towered over her like a skyscraper, looking down on her with the most shit-eating grin she’d ever seen.

“My turn.”

Before she had any time to think, Satori's hand was unleashing the most pain-inducing, heartstopping, panty dropping slap on her ass. She yelped and listened to the sound echo throughout the gym. His palm remained on her right cheek, she could feel his fingers curl up and feel around. He jumped slightly, then leaned down to get his lips right next to her ear.

“You dirty girl,” He whispered huskily. His voice sent shivers down her spine and she could feel the heat between her legs growing. “No panties huh? And were you thinking about telling me?” Y/N gulped and turned to the side slightly.

“It was supposed to be a surprise after practice.”

Tendou hummed. He turned on his heel once more and walked away. His shoes squeaking against the gym floor slowly dissipating gave her the ‘okay’ to finally relax. Y/N made her way over to one of the courtside benches and took a seat. With her legs crossed, she let her eyes linger on her red-head boyfriend.

The middle blocker was working overtime tonight. His guesses were on point, every single possible hunch he could have had about a spiker’s decisions were completely right. She could only imagine the type of psycho-analysis that was going on in his head right now, how meticulous he had to be in order to block everyone on the other side of the net.

She was wrong.

Tendou was on his game because he knew that she was watching him. He could feel her eyes lingering on him, only paying attention to his movements and no one else’s. Who was she, to sit on that damn bench with no panties on in front of all of his teammates. He could only imagine the juices that were marinating in her cunt right now, he was salivating at the thought of it. His hunger was only fueling his movements, a snide smirk resting on his face. 

One of the managers rushed around giving all of the players’ some towels to wipe themselves off. Once Tendou was handed his own, he turned slightly and noticed Y/N had taken some extra interest in watching him. He scoffed and pressed the towel against his forehead and neck, wiping off all the remnants of his hard work. Y/N licked her lips and didn’t let her gaze falter for a second. Tendou’s legs carried him over towards his girlfriend once more. His aura was radiating pure starvation. He couldn’t even keep eye contact with her for more than a millisecond before letting his eyes drop down to her crossed legs. He could feel himself get hard just knowing that he was the only one that got to spread those legs. To see what was beyond her gorgeous thighs.

He tossed the towel at her nonchalantly. “Hold this for me, would you baby? Just a little while longer.”

Y/N was quick to catch the towel and let it rest in her lap. She could feel herself getting warmer, at this point she started to regret not wearing underwear. She knew that she was going to spill the juices that Satori claimed as his all over the floor once she stood up, but for right now. At this very moment. She could care less. Her mind was turning into mush, and it didn’t help that Tendou would toss her looks in between practice sets.

Her pussy was aching. Tendou had been her very first intimate partner, and she loved the idea that her pussy was molded into a hole that fit his dick perfectly. She was growing more restless by the second, counting down each second that went by that Tendou wasn’t rearranging her intestines. Finally, like a bright light shining down from the heavens, practice was called to an end and everyone started to pack up the equipment and their things. Once everyone was finally done with their chores, Tendou slowly made his way back to his girlfriend.

“Can I see that towel in your lap, pretty girl?” Tendou grinned, holding his hand out in front of her. She nodded and dropped the towel into his palm. “Thank you darling~”

As Tendou wiped his face again, Y/N was fuming. Her entire body was quivering with nothing short of pure lust for Satori. And the worst part of it all, was she knew that he was teasing her. He was dragging his feet when he walked, he was taking his time to get each individual bead of sweat off of his face, he knew that she was dying for his touch.

“Alright baby, let’s go. Are you ready?” Y/N didn’t give him any time to change his mind. She was off the bench and ready to go with her purse at the sound of his voice.

Tendou chuckled and draped an arm loosely around her shoulders, pulling her close to him as he slung his duffel bag over his left shoulder. They had finally made it outside the gym. Sure, they only took one step outside, but Y/N was practically dizzy with how much fresh air was hitting her face right now. Before they could walk any further, Tendou stopped them both in their tracks.

“Oops! I forgot my jacket on the bench, I’ll be right back love,”

Y/N was fed up. She was seething, begging to be touched and he kept setting them back. She looked to her left and noticed a corner that the lights weren’t hitting. She moved into the shadows and waited patiently for Tendou’s figure to walk out the door. After watching most of his teammates leave with their bags and set off on their journey’s back home, Y/N was ready to get what she wanted.

The second she could smell his after-practice musk, she grabbed hold of his arm and yanked him into the corner with her. Tendou looked down at her with a cocky smirk and raised an eyebrow. “And what’s this about?” She looked up into his fiery ruby orbs and made no sound.

Her fingers grabbed hold of the band of his practice shorts and looped a finger into the band of his briefs before using all the strength she had to yank them down his legs. His cock sprung to life before her very eyes and she found some sort of relief in knowing that he was just as worked up as she was. She licked her lips and nearly drooled at his feet just at the mere sight. His tip was swollen, his shaft curved upwards, it was a gorgeous sight to see. Tendou gulped before finally speaking.

“Suck it.”

Y/N had already gathered up all the spit she could in her mouth. She spat onto his cock and didn’t even bother to start to stroke him. She took his entire dick in her mouth and felt his tip hit the back of her mouth. She had no strength to push her legs together anymore and slowly just let them spread apart. Her knees were starting to burn from the small rocks and pebbles that had littered the sidewalk, but she was too busy drowning in her horniness to care. The guttural groan that left Tendou’s mouth as she deep throated him was enough to send her over the edge. Her head was bobbing up and down his shaft, her lips gliding across his drenched cock.

“Fu-fuck baby. Take this cock like a good girl,” Tendou sighed heavily. “Fuck, you suck me off so good baby.”

The words of encouragement egged her on, pushing her to grip whatever wasn’t covered by her mouth with her hands and begin to stroke while she sucked. Tendou nearly banged his head into the wall from the immense pleasure that took over him. He was trying so hard not to cum down her throat as fast as he wanted to. Y/N knew that he was holding himself back, but she didn’t bother to berate him or tease him for it. What mattered was that she had his cock in her mouth and she was going to swallow every last drop of cum he had to offer.

She could feel him twitch in her mouth, every vein that was ready to burst getting eased with the coolness of her saliva. She deep throated once more and felt some pre-cum slide down her tongue. She pulled her mouth off of his dick, still stroking him with one hand while she popped his cleanly shaven balls in her mouth. Tendou clamped a hand over his mouth to try and prevent the loud groan that fell from his lips; even covered by his hand his moan was loud enough to get some stares.

Y/N moved back up to eye-level with his cock and spread her hot mouth all over it once more. She bobbed her head as fast as she could, feeling his dick twitch faster than before. It wasn’t until Tendou’s sweet groan entered her ears that she realized he had painted the back of her throat with his cum. She pulled herself off of his dick for the last time, snot falling from her nose, tears falling from her damp eyelashes and down her swollen cheeks. 

Tendou looked down and moved her loose hair out of her face, watching her tongue fall out of her mouth still covered in his cum. Within a second, she swallowed whatever of his load was leftover in her mouth and let her body slump. Tendou noticed her relaxed nature and immediately lifted her up into his arms.

“Don’t think this is over. I’m going to fuck the shit out of you when we get back to my dorm.” Y/N laid in his arms completely lifeless, her mind still only focused on the pleasure she had given her boyfriend just now. 

She had no concept of time, or even realized how much time she had taken to suck him off outside of the gym, but none of it mattered. It wasn’t until he threw her onto his bed that she snapped back to reality. Her hair was a mess, her face was flushed with a red color, her legs could barely stay closed. Tendou was huffing, heavily breathing as he threw his shirt over his head and tugged his boxers down once more. He didn’t bother to take Y/N’s dress off. What was the point if he had easy access anyways?

“I’m going to fuck the shit out of this pussy,” Tendou growled, pressing lazy kisses to the sides of her neck. “My pussy.”

Y/N’s ears were ringing. The second she felt his lips on her neck her entire body went into shock. She felt so sensitive, anywhere he touched immediately made her quiver. She wanted to take every piece of clothing off of her, she felt like she was roasting in 100 degree summer heat. Tendou’s long, slender fingers wrapped around her knees and yanked her legs apart. His eyes widened and he stared at her glistening pussy like it was a gift given to him by god. And it was. Tendou licked his lips and fell to his knees. He gripped the backs of her legs and pulled her to the edge of his bed, her pussy right in his face. 

He wasted no time in diving his tongue in between her folds. The tip of his tongue flicked her clit before gathering up some of her wetness like a spoon. He was eating her up like a starved man, smacking his lips and burying his face in her. Her noises were enough to wake up every single member of his team in the building, but that was the least of his worries. He had a cunt, shining with pure excitement  under the lights right in front of him, and it was all his. His dick was so painfully hard and he wanted nothing more than to just slam it inside of her, but she was dying to suck him off, and he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t dying to feast on her pussy.

“Te-Tendou, please,” Y/N whined. “Please just fuck me, I-I can’t take it anymore.” Her words stopped his actions. She whined from the loss of friction and his swift motions.

He stood up and wiped his mouth of whatever juices she left on his lips. He had never heard anything more sexy than her pleads for him to fuck her in all his life. He smiled from ear to ear and came down to press his lips onto hers. “Whatever you want, baby. Your wish is my command.”

Tendou lined himself up with her entrance. He slowly started to push his tip into her. Once just his tip had been swallowed by her cunt, he grabbed hold of her hips tightly and bucked his hips so hard into hers that she nearly screamed. The harsh slap of his balls slapping against her skin made a clapping noise, and he started to pound into her like his life depended on it. The sound of her loud moans only fueled him to keep drilling his cock into her. He leaned down and buried his face in her chest, loving the feeling of her tits bouncing in his face. He pulled himself out of her and lifted her into his arms. He sat down on the edge of his bed and sat her on his lap. Y/N got the picture and quickly slammed herself onto his dick. 

“God damn, Y/N. Ride this dick, take this dick like a good girl.”

Y/N sank her teeth into his shoulder as she bounced up and down on his cock. She could feel the coil in her stomach slowly unraveling with every slap their sweaty bodies made. She pulled her face out of his neck to see that his eyebrows were furrowed, the groans leaving his mouth nearly making her cream on their own. Tendou grabbed a fistful of her hair into a makeshift ponytail and held it up for her, the breeze that hit her neck sending goosebumps down her hot skin.

Tendou could feel that she had gotten tired of picking herself up, his hands moved down to her hips and gripped them so hard that she was sure his fingers would be bruised into her skin. He held her up and thrusted as fast as he could, his balls slapping against the bottom of her ass with every move. Y/N dug her nails into his back, sure that she drew blood with how hard she was holding him.

She lowered herself back down onto him once more and simply served as a hole for him to fuck himself with. He moved her at his own tempo, lifting her body up and down his cock with the strength he had. Her legs quivered and she could feel herself getting close.

“To- Tori, I’m gonna,” She couldn’t even finish her sentence before it was drowned out with the harmonious sounds of their moans joining together.

“Let it go love, cream all over this cock for me.” Tendou practically yelled through clenched teeth. 

Within seconds, both of their moans joined together once more for a grand finale. Y/N’s body fell limp, her bare chest resting on top of his. Tendou was still twitching inside of her, his hands coming up to caress her back lovingly. After a few minutes that way, Y/N finally sat up to pull herself off of his dick. The sight she was met with nearly made her want him to fuck her again, but she was far too tired.

Satori’s ruby eyes focused on her pussy as she pulled herself off. Strands of their combined cum looked like strings holding their two bodies together. Y/N relaxed and Tendou could see a cluster of his cum slide out of her pussy and down the sides of her legs.

Tendou reached into his drawer and grabbed some cool wet wipes to clean themselves off, he handled his lover with such care, feeling her jump every time he brought the wipe anywhere near her still sensitive pussy. Tendou moved every article of clothing that sat on top of his covers off and threw it somewhere into the corner of the room. He grabbed Y/N’s waist and pulled her next to him, helping her get under the covers and into his arms.

“That’s probably the best sex we have ever had.”

Y/N nodded, barely able to catch her breath. “I feel so much better now,”

Tendou just chuckled and pressed his lips lazily against her own. “I love you baby, with all of my heart. Thank you for always being so devoted to pleasuring me.”

She smiled and pressed a kiss against his lips before nuzzling into his neck. “I love you Satori,”

The two of them yawned, falling asleep within seconds. Satori felt his entire body finally truly relax, and knowing that she would be here in his arms in the morning made his sleep that much better.

He thought to himself that maybe every date night should end like this, but he knew he would never hear the end of that conversation.

[healingagoddess]

Stranger

Pairing: Ajak/Wanda Maximoff/F!Reader

Summary: MINORS DNI. One night Wanda comes crashing into your shared homestead with Ajak and soon takes over your home incluiding Ajak, but it is you what she wants. Events after MOM.

Words: 1856

Warnings: mommy kink, degradation, fingering, use of heavy language, cnc. English is not my first language. If I missed any warnings let me know.

Note: *foaming at the mouth* NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS, NOBODY WANTED THIS, I DON'T CAREE!! I'm going to put it out here since I already wrote it and it is now y'alls problem. I had written some Thenajak, but my laptop was broken and I lost everything. So, bear with me and I just don't care. I did not re read it to edit nor fix my grammar, I can't re read what I write. Thank you :3.

It’s not that you hated the idea, in fact, you humored it a few times. When a redhead came crashing in the middle of the night seeking refugee before passing out on your living room, you and Ajak immediately took her in. She was healed in an instant, yet there was something dark holding her down. You could feel it, and you knew Ajak did too. She kept quiet for the most part, neither you nor Ajak wanting to make your guest uncomfortable, whatever trouble she had it was yours too.

It started with a few glances, both of them staring at each other communicating something between them both completely ignoring you. The way they raised their eyebrows at each other with no words needed. It made you feel small. Unwanted.

Mommy was never like this, she never ignored you, she was always ready to care for you and to tend to your every need. You were her special girl that she would nurse every night to sleep. You did not like this change. It was as if she had been consumed by a dark energy. This was far from being the woman you loved so much.

Whatever they had grew into something else, meanwhile Ajak was still the same when the both of you were alone, at times it felt like she was holding something back. Her mind seemed to be miles away in a distant place you could never reach, and it was different from other times. The way she was condescending with her care for you and her actions hurt the most.

It was night time when the both of you had gotten ready for bed. Mommy had bathed you and changed you into your long nightgown - the white one with pink roses. She had opted to sit in bed with her back resting against the headboard ignoring how you stood by the bed waiting for her to tuck you in. When she didn’t you crawled in bed silently smiling at her waiting for her attention as you sat back looking at her. Still nothing. Now you had to be more direct with your need as you laid your head on her lap looking up at her.

“Mommy” you called out softly.

“Hm?” She asked not looking away from her book.

You tugged at her own nightgown.

She looked down at you with a raised brow. “What is it, mi niña?”

You signaled down at your body. “You forgot about me.”

“I could never forget about you.” She smiled fondly.

You smiled back dumbly.

“Do you think we could tell stories before we sleep? Or maybe we could-”

The sound of somebody opening the door cut you off. You frowned at the intrusion as you looked at who had just walked in. It was Wanda dressed in her own sleeping clothes, a soft smile on her features as she stared at Ajak. A book of her own in her hands, you did not pay it any mind as you sat up waiting for an explanation. Looking back at Ajak you found her smiling back at her. And you felt small again.

“Mommy?”

“Sorry, Ajak! I was just reading one of your books and I thought that what I found was interesting and wanted to share with you.” She didn’t care to pay you any mind as she made her way to your bed and got in right next to you facing Ajak. 

“It was one of my favorite books a long time ago. It holds so much truth of the world.” Ajak responded.

You pouted immediately adjusting your body to lay on top of Ajak with your arms on each of her side embracing her as you rested your head on her chest. You knew that it didn’t matter what you said or did, they would ignore you or treat you like a child anyways. You focused on the sound of Ajak’s ticking of a heartbeat and the soft raising of her chest gently swaying you as you drowned their voices in the background. You closed your eyes for a moment, ignoring the way they made you feel. You felt somewhat safe when Ajak did hold your body against her wrapping her arms around your hips. Then you fell into slumber.

It was dark when you woke up still late into the night and noticed you were on your side with your head slightly nuzzled into Ajak’s side facing into her direction. What was odd was the pressure you felt on you back and a strange sensation between your legs. It was definitely Wanda with one arm resting against your hip while her fingers rubbed at your clit – gown pulled up around your hips and panties slightly down. You whined as you tried to pull away reaching out for Ajak, but soon you felt her free hand pressing against your tummy holding you in place.

She shushed you down quite loudly. “It’s okay. Just let me play a little bit with you. I know you’ll love it. You don’t want to wake up mommy, do you?” Her tone was condescending.

You whimpered against her, the words dying out in your mouth as you felt the heat travel through your body. For a moment consumed by the sensation you rocked your hips with sleep still in your eyes and movements as you tried to focus on Ajak’s figure. You were not supposed to enjoy what Wanda was doing, but having been asleep when she started her assault on you there was an obvious reaction from your body, the wetness between your tights that stained the sheets were an indication of this. It felt so good your breath quickened, almost falling into the lust until you felt guilt. With one of your hands, you held onto Ajak pulling your upper body close to her while Wanda continued to rub at you. Before Wanda could stop you Ajak was awakened by you holding onto her and shaking her a little.

With a slap to your pussy Wanda spoke “you brat, you woke up your mommy.”

You began to cry.

Ajak’s sleepy eyes met your teary ones, a moan escaped your body as Wanda pressed her fingers inside you slipping in with ease. She pulled out her fingers rather quickly and spanked your exposed ass earning a yelp from you.

“Mommy.” You cried out.

“Sh, sh, sh,” Ajak hushed you cupping your face and wiping away your tears “it’s okay, I’m here. Let Wanda play with you a little bit. She’ll make you feel good; be a good girl for her.”

You shook your head no and cried some more as Ajak wasn’t even faced with the way Wanda was treating you or what she had done to you. Note ven caring to truly comfort you like you wanted her to.

“No, don’t be a bad girl and let Wanda please you. She’s being so kind doing so.”

Wanda rolled her eyes at you and rolled onto her back. “She already woke you up; she deserves to be punished.”

Ajak’s hand cupped your dripping pussy, humming when she felt your wetness. Desperation overtook your senses as you felt guilty and caught with your arousal, but also scared as a punishment was mentioned. You never got punished before.

“Bebé, you are so wet,” she said contemplating, her fingers pushing through your folds “don’t say no to her; you are practically begging for it.”

“How can you say that?” You asked in disbelief. “I only want you, not her or anybody else. Just you.”

“Really? Then why are you messing my sheets with your wetness? You want this. Now, don’t be a bad girl anymore and I promise there won’t be any punishment.”

“Tonight.” Wanda added with a smirk.

You gave up knowing you did not have the power nor the energy to fight them, or to say no to Ajak. You couldn’t even say no to Wanda as your body reacted so well to her. They were right: you liked it and you wanted it so bad. Laying back down on the bed with no more resistant Wanda practically pounced on you holding you back like she did before, but this time she buried her fingers deep inside of you. You groaned at the feeling fixing your gaze on Ajak who seemed quite pleased with your obedience, she got closer to your face pressing her forehead against yours as she whispered sweet nothings and praises for being so good.

“You can try and deny it all you want,” Wanda whispered in your ear, “but look at how well your body is reacting to me, taking both of my fingers so well into your pussy like the whore you are.”

You moaned loudly against Ajak, your hips bucking against Wanda seeking more friction.

“You are so desperate it is kinda pathetic, don’t you think Ajak?”

Ajak hummed, she didn’t know how to feel with how easily you actually gave up, but at the same time it’s what they wanted. You were to submit to them, being their precious little thing that you were meant to be.

You were consumed by pleasure, too dumb to say anything other than to moan and groan against both of them. It felt so good to be filled by the redhead, and when your mommy reaching down to rub at your clit you were gone; lost in the lust as your eyes rolled to the back of your head with your lips parted letting out little whimpers. Other than the only sound in the room was the sloshing wet sounds from Wanda’s fingers rapid movements. You could almost see stars in your state, you felt the tightness on your belly ready to burst and your moans higher pitched by the second.

“She is about to cum. No warning.” Ajak said.

“Do it then.” Wanda ordered.

 You came right away with a loud cry, your walls clenching around Wanda as she tried to hold you in place with your trembling body. Ajak taking you by the hips as she held you in place making it easier for Wanda and for you to ride your high. Your senses were overtaken by Wanda, she was everywhere inside your mind and there was no way to fight it. You didn’t know it was all her using her magic to force your submission faster, it was her controlling your body. She was surprised to find she could have her way with you either way, you were far too dumb and innocent to resist her experienced advantages.

When you came back from your high Wanda shoved her fingers inside your mouth forcing you to suck and taste your sweet juice. You did so messily with a moan, nothing new as you had tasted yourself many times on Ajak’s mouth. The healer brough her own fingers to her lips and cleaned them with a hum.

“Such a good, girl. I’m sure you’ll be ready for your new mama in no time to take in her special toy.” Ajak whispered hovering on top of you and pushing your legs up as she descended your body. “Time to clean you up.”

[it-was-written-in-the-stars]

♡Dorian Havilliard x reader♡

♡ a song for those who weep ♡

Chapter three ○●○

Warning(s) -> mild spoilers for throne of glass and crown of midnight by SJM, a dash of angst

Word count -> 1087

A/N -> I am so terribly sorry for how long it took me to write this chapter :')

[The characters featured in this story do not belong to me]

♡♡♡

The world hated you. Of that you were certain as you hurtled down the staircase, heedless of Dorian's cry of protest. He loved her, not you. Why hadn't you noticed it? Why had you been so foolish?

Your vision was blurred by a cloak of tears as you barrelled through the corridor. You needed to get out of here. You couldn't breathe.

You had seen the way he looked at her, his gaze filled with such awe. Why had you thought it meant nothing? Why had you clung so pathetically to that infinitesimal flicker of hope? Hope was what had ruined you. It lured you in, the act resembling the attraction which pulls a moth to a blaze of fire.

You stepped over the threshold, darting into the Palace gardens. The night air kissed your skin, grazing your tear stained face with the grace of a lover. The single, delicate caress you had desperately needed. Little droplets rained down onto the luxuriant landscape. The sky wept with you, its sorrow seeping into the soil.

You stood there, watching the scene blossom around you. The trickle of rain softly colliding with the ground, the gentle sway of trees, the rustle of leaves. These sounds crashed down on you, arresting as they were, joining together in this alluring symphony.

You breathed in the crisp, cold air accented with lavender. It was there that you swore to never let love provoke a tear out of you.

You loosed a breath, pivoting on your heel and retreating back into the delicious warmth the Palace provided. Turning your back on the love which you buried deep within the grounds of the gardens.

♡♡♡

"She watched him dance with the girl carved from sunlight," you read out. "Her heart ached, a deep, painful throb which threatened to rip her apart".

You paused to catch a glimpse of Dorian who sat across from you. An odd look had befallen his face, as though he could relate with the protagonist. You also seemed to notice how the soft light of the candelabra caressed his features, accentuating the sharp curve of his jaw. Heat rose to your face at how swiftly you had betrayed yourself. Love was not written for you.

"I know that I am quite the sight but don't drool all over the pages" Dorian drawled, the corners of his lips twitching upwards.

Gods. Why was he making this so difficult!?

You scoffed, rolling your eyes before opting to return to reading and ignore how hot he wa- your face was.

"The two of them were locked in a dance of great fervor. Elation coursed through his veins, lighting up his face. He was happy," you continued, suddenly tossed back into the ballroom- the sight of Dorian and Celaena clasped in each other's arms. You shook the thought away. "And despite how badly it hurt her, Aurelia turned on her heel and left- aaand that's the end of that chapter" you say, inserting a bookmark and closing the book.

"Gods I didn't remember this book being this- upsetting" Dorian mused, that off putting gleam returning to his eyes.

"At least we already know that the ending is jubilant" you pointed out, rising to deposit the book on the nearest stand. Dorian hummed in response, a single drawn out note.

"I was- uh- meaning to ask you this earlier but- is everything alright?" He asked, blanketing you with his attention.

You turn back to face him, your eyebrows flicking upwards. "Yes- of course".

"Why did you run away- when you saw me yesterday?" He pressed, patently not satisfied with your response. Your face heated at the reminder of how poorly you had handled the situation.

"I- . . . forgot that Celaena asked me to take care of Fleetfoot- afterall he is just a pup and I- left him.. in my chambers" you internally cringed at how bad of a lie you let slip past your lips. You certainly hadn't convinced Dorian, for he looked just as perplexed.

"Y/n- I can tell that something is bothering you" Dorian said, watching you settle back down into your seat.

Your gaze met his. What beautiful a shade his eyes possessed.

You turned abruptly, clearing your throat. "I assure you that everything is absolutely perfect- ideal- now if you will excuse me I- need to go return Fleetfoot to Celaena before she-"

"Oh, there you are"

You felt your heart drop at the sound of her voice.

Low and behold, Celaena had sauntered into your little corner, the young pup curled up in her arms.

Dorian quirked a brow.

"Celaena, what a surprise- oh and you found Fleetfoot!" You chirped. The two of them exchanged a puzzled look.

The golden haired girl released a breath. "I sure did, thanks for your help". You took a mental note to thank her later as you bid your farewells and swiftly slipped out of the library.

Just yesterday you had told yourself that you would not let love steer you. Yet here you were. Making a complete fool of yourself. Again.

But how could you tell him? 'Oh sorry- you see, I actually ran away because I have been in love with you since we were children and when I saw you kissing Celaena it broke my heart and silly old me lacked the courage to do anything about it so instead I ran away from all of my problems'. Like always.

"Oh, hello Y/n," a voice from somewhere to your left rumbled. "Have you seen Celaena?".

You peered over your shoulder to find Chaol waiting expectantly for your response. His face was flushed, a bouquet of red roses clasped in his hands.

"She's just in there-.. if you don't mind me asking, who are those for?" You reply, eyeing the flowers. If only your life was blessed with such vibrancy.

Chaol followed your gaze, his eyebrows pulled together. "Oh uh these are for Celaena" he replied, slightly flustered.

You blink. Once. Twice.

"Celaena?" You echo, your head tilting to the side. "Is it her birthday?"

"No.."

"Oh... why are you- giving them to her?" You ask, confused by the occurrence. Why was he giving her flowers when her boyfriend was with her?

"We are.. together" Chaol replied, his eyebrows shooting skyward at your visible perplexion.

"But she's with... she's no longer dating Dorian?" You ask, your heart beating wildly in your chest. None of this made any sense.

"No- they broke it off a few weeks after you left" Chaol said, shuffling his feet awkwardly under your scrutiny.

"What?"

[seungkw1]

untitled (hoshi oneshot)

pairing: kwon soonyoung x reader (gender not explicity mentioned)

word count: 1.3k

genre: exes to lovers, non-idol au

warnings: drinking, cursing, implied sex

author's note: hi this is literally the very first fic i've ever written in my life!! it's just a short one but any constructive feedback is appreciated :)

What an annoying fucking day. 

Missing the bus and being late for work, coworkers getting on your nerves, and to top it all off you completely forgot to do that important task that was due today, so you ended up staying late. It was only Tuesday, but you needed a goddamn drink.

It was already dark by the time you stepped out into the freezing cold air, and you huddled up in your coat as you made your way to the mediocre dive bar down the block. Not your top choice, but it was close. You ordered a vodka soda and zoned out as you listened to whatever depressing ass Smiths song was playing - shitty vibe, but you were too tired to care. 

So when the man you had vaguely noticed was staring at you from your peripheral vision got up and headed towards you, you sighed as you turned to immediately shut that shit down. 

“Sorry but I am really not in the mood for a conversation right n-“ your stomach dropped as you made eye contact with the all-too-familiar face. 

“I thought that was you,” your ex-fiancé said sheepishly. 

Frozen in shock, it took you a good five seconds for you to utter a response. 

“Soonyoung?”

What the FUCK was he doing here?

As if he read your mind, he explained, “I’m in town this week for a work conference, but I didn’t expect to run into… anybody I knew.” He paused, waiting for your reaction. More silence. After what felt like an eternity you finally snapped out of it.  

“Um… me neither.” 

Jesus Christ, pull yourself together. 

It had been nearly two years since you last saw him. The breakup had felt like a relief then - he was moving across the country and you never planned to see or hear from him again. Especially not in some random fucking bar on a Tuesday. 

Your heart raced as you noted that he looked good. Like, really good. 

“Mind if I join?” he gestures to the vacant seat next to you. 

“Yeah, definitely. I mean- no I don’t mind. Sorry yeah go ahead, sure” you tripped over your words. Why the hell are you so nervous? It’s just your ex. 

Yeah, just the person I very nearly married. Just the person I had once considered my soulmate…

You shove that thought to the back of your mind. 

Soonyoung sits down and awkwardly begins to make small talk - something neither of you are that great at. You chat politely for a few minutes, asking each other the usual generic questions.  There’s clearly so much you want to say to each other, but you both hold back. 

“Soooo… how’s the…” he pauses. Shaking his head, he abandons whatever he was going to say. He turns and makes eye contact with you, giving you a questioning look. You feel your heart rate spiking. You try not to think about how handsome he looks right now. 

“Do you still like playing pool?” He nods his head over to the open pool table in the corner. A smile involuntarily creeps onto your face and you see his eyes light up in response. The tension suddenly melts away. 

“Only if I can still kick your ass.”

—

A few drinks and several rounds of pool later, you and Soonyoung are laughing it up as if you hadn’t spent a single day apart. 

“Tired of losing yet?” you taunt sarcastically. You are both terrible at pool and neither of you even know how to play properly. But neither of you care about the game at this point anyway - you’re lost in old stories and inside jokes. 

And god, he looks REALLY good. 

Soonyoung pulls out his phone and laughs as he checks the time. 

“Uh-ohhh, it’s gotten prettttty late. We better get you home before you turn into a pumpkin!” You roll your eyes but feel a sudden tinge of sadness. You were truly enjoying yourself - more than you had in a long time - and you weren’t ready for the night to end. But it was getting a bit late. 

“Ugh let me check the train, who knows how long until the next one.” You go to put your coat on but he’s already holding it up for you, not realizing his old habit. 

“Fuck the train, I’m driving you home! It’s toooo cold,” he insists. You let out a short laugh - he only had one more drink but he was clearly drunk. 

“No, dummy, you are in no condition to operate a vehicle. I’ll drive for you.” 

—

You park Soonyoung’s car near your apartment building. He’s mostly sobered up by this point, but he’s clearly a little embarrassed about the fact that he had spent a good chunk of the ride crying as he apologized and confessed that he really missed you. But honestly, you realize that you had really missed him too. 

“Welp, here we are… guess I’d better get going,” he says, trying to hide his mopiness at the thought of leaving you. He slowly starts to open the passenger door but you catch his sleeve to hold him back. As you pull him back into his seat you find your hand subtly sliding up around his bicep. Fuck, he was even more muscular than you remembered. 

“Excuse me but I am not letting you behind this wheel until you are fully sobered up, which you clearly are not,” you tell him firmly. “Come on babe, we’re going inside and getting you something to eat.” The affectionate name rolled off your tongue so naturally that you didn’t even notice you’d said it. 

His eyes light up again. He had always been stunning, but in this moment he was insanely hot. Still holding onto his bicep, memories of his toned body flash through your mind as you feel the heat rising inside you. 

Is this really happening? Fuck, I want him so bad. 

And the way he looks back at you, you know he wants you too.

—

“What do you want, leftover pizza? A sandwich? Ramen?” 

“Ooooh RAMEN!” Soonyoung exclaims eagerly as he comes running into the kitchen. “Pretty please,” he adds with a goofy grin. It all felt so natural. You didn’t realize how much you had missed this, missed him. 

“Drink this,” you force a cup of water into his hands. Your hands brush and you instantly get butterflies. 

Jesus what is this, a middle school crush?? 

He locks eyes with you. Huge pang in your stomach. 

Okay, yeah. You need him. Badly. Right now. 

Overwhelmed, you panic and turn back to busy yourself with the ramen, but you find yourself too distracted to even continue that. 

Soonyoung can’t wait any longer. He grabs you by the hips and turns you around, pulling your body into his. He’s already excited, and you feel his excitement grow even more as he wraps his arms around you and kisses you with more intensity than you’ve ever felt before. 

Fireworks. Electricity. All the things. In that moment, nothing in the world mattered but you and Soonyoung.

God damn. 

He breaks the kiss so he can take a look at you. “You’re so fucking beautiful, you know that right?” He gently grabs your chin and tilts your face up toward him, going in for another kiss. 

You suddenly become aware of the ramen packet that’s still in your hand. You giggle and he ends up kissing you on the teeth. You both burst out laughing and Soonyoung pulls you even tighter into his arms. You feel both of your hearts pounding in your chests. 

He places his forehead against yours. “Soooo…”

“Soooo what?” You give him a tiny peck on the lips. He gives you a tiny peck back. 

“Soooo aren’t you gonna invite me into your room?”

“What for?” you ask coyly. 

“Mmmm I think I have a few things in mind,” he says in a low voice. 

“Like whaaaat,” you tease. 

You feel the both of you becoming even more excited as he mutters into your ear. 

“Mmm I like the sound of that,” you say softly. Then jokingly, “but what about your ramen?”

“I think I have an appetite for something else now…” 

[end]

—

find me on ao3 as well ♡

[glazesunflower]

i feel bad requesting so soon but um! Keqing coming home from a bad day at work, only to be welcomed by her wife and their kid(s?) who made dinner for her, and then they spend quality time together! if it's not much trouble?

Keqing Family Fluff After Work

Characters: Keqing x Fem!Reader.

Warnings: None! Just a lot of fluff.

Notes: Thank you for requesting! I hadn't written Keqing in a while and I missed her, this was very wholesome to write. Halfway through I forgot about the dinner part but I hope you enjoy it still!

It’s late at night when you hear the front door opening, the sun already past hidden by the time you feel Keqing’s steps on the wooden floor, coming towards the only light in the house: The kitchen, where you find yourself now.

You see your wife entering the room, covering her yawning mouth with the back of her hand. Her lilac eyes look tired in yours, her entire demeanor slow and heavy as she approaches you.

“Ah, I'm finally back. Hello, my love. You're still awake, aren't you? You were waiting for me again tonight?” She says, her voice slow and tired. “I'm so sorry, I lost track of time. There were just so many things I had to take care of today…”

“It’s okay, my heart.” You walk up to her, pressing your lips to her cheek softly in reassurance. Her skin warms to your touch. “Did you have a busy day?”

Keqing nods, locks of lilac hair falling over her eyes at the motion. 

“More than usual. I mean, with Rex Lapis gone, things have been even more chaotic than ever. There are so many things that need to be done, and the work is never-ending. I've been at it so long that my back's killing me.” She sighs, stroking her back. Then, her eyes light up “…Oh! But I almost forgot! I had something very important I wanted to tell you.”

“What is it, my love?” You tilt your head, listening intently.

“Remember those plans that I was drawing up for new development in the city? Well… I finally finished my proposal, and I took it to the Liyue Qixing this afternoon… And they said yes! We're finally going to start a big construction project.” She tells you, her lilac eyes sparkling in the dim light of the night. “I guess it just goes to show that anything is possible when you put in the work. Heh… Just don't tell the others, but I'm still not quite sure what I'm doing as the Yuheng of the Qixing.” 

Keqing walks up to the kitchen table and sits down with a heavy sigh. She is visibly exhausted, her limbs heavy with the tiredness of the day. You walk up to her, placing your hands on her shoulders, smiling softly at her.

“That’s wonderful news, sweetheart! You had been working very hard on that project!”

Keqing returns the smile, her lips tugging at the corners with poorly-concealed pride. 

“I know! It’s really… It's really been a long day. I've been running around the city, making sure that everything is proceeding smoothly. I’ve had a bunch of important meetings, too… All sorts of paperwork and contracts to sign. I'm exhausted.”

You rub her back lovingly, your hand slowly stroking her skin through the work shirt she’s wearing. She sighs and leans to your touch, your warmth slipping through her veins in waves.

“You did so good, my heart. I’m so proud of you.” You lean down, pressing your lips to her temple in a familiar gesture of affection. She briefly closes her eyes to the contact. “You deserve a reward. Anything you want.”

“Anything, you say?” Keqing leans her head onto your shoulder, locks of lilac hair tickling your neck, and you can almost see her blushing. “There does seem to be something I want…”

You smile softly, playfully so. “Hm? And what would that be?”

Keqing turns her face to you, her sharp eyes finding yours and softening around the corners.

“Maybe a massage to ease the tension in my shoulders… And maybe a nice hot bubble bath… And then we can head to bed?” Keqing’s eyes sparkle with affection at the idea. “What do you say, my love?”

You lean to her, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. You smile against her mouth, and feel Keqing shivering underneath.

“That sounds wonderful. Why don’t you take a seat on the couch and wait for me there? I will be right there.”

She is quick to nod. “Okay, I can do that.” 

Keqing goes to the couch and sits down on it with her eyes still sparkling, smiling to herself with excitement. She gazes warmly at you, waiting patiently for you to return. She smiles again when she hears footsteps. She is expecting you to return with the massage, and maybe something else. Keqing is already leaning back against the couch and is looking forward to what comes next, turning to the sound.

“Ah, you're back already, my love. I didn't think that would be so— Oof!”

Two kids jump at her on the couch, giggling. “Mom is home! Mom is home!”

Keqing is startled by the sudden movement of the two kids, and looks at them with wide eyes. She quickly regains her composure when she realizes that it’s her two kids, their lavender hair and sharp intelligent eyes unmistakable, and they are just excited to see her.

“Hey, you two!” Keqing picks up the kids, and begins to tickle them. She laughs along with the children, and the three of them have a very happy reunion. “Why are you up this late? You should be sleeping!”

Keqing kisses their heads, and the kids playfully pinch Keqing’s cheeks to get a reaction. The kids' presence brings Keqing a feeling of joy, as if her tired mind has been instantly refreshed, two little suns in the dim light of the room.

“We couldn't sleep without Mom's bedtime story!” Says the older one, barely six.

“We missed you!” Says the smaller one, four years old and hanging tightly to Keqing’s shirt.

Seeing how happy the two kids are, and how much their presence has improved the mood of the whole apartment, Keqing can't help but be filled with love and appreciation, sinking into her bones as the sight.

Then, you come into the room. Your soft footsteps make the three of them turn their heads towards you.

“So, about that massage— Oh, kids! You were supposed to be sleeping!”

Keqing chuckles, seeing the surprise drawn all over your features. 

“That's what I told them, but they said they couldn't fall asleep without hearing my bedtime story first.”

The two kids are clinging to her legs, looking up at her mom with wide eyes and pleading facial expressions, Please!

“Come on children, your mom is tired from work.” You walk up to them and slowly kiss their hair, a thoughtful expression behind your eyes. Then, you smile. “How about we give her a comforting massage, all three of us?”

The kids jump in unison, cheering with their little fists in the air, their eyes crumpling with smiles. 

“Yey! We’d love to massage you, Mom! We want to help you relax!”

The two kids are clearly very excited and pleased at the idea, and are already bouncing on their toes.

“What do you say, my love?” You caress the side of Keqing’s face with your fingers, soft and light. Keqing smiles, her skin growing the faintest shade of pink at the contact, and nods slowly. 

“Sure, I could definitely use a massage.” She leans up on the couch, and the kids are quick to climb onto her stomach, eager to start the massage. The two kids work together to give a relaxing massage to Keqing, and she laughs and enjoys the warmth and energy of her kids as they work on her back with your help, too. The family atmosphere fills all four of you with joy and love. “It feels great to have you and the kids take care of me, too.”

After a while of massaging and laughing together as a family, the kids start yawning, covering their mouths with their little hands.

“Sleepy…” Says the older one, rubbing her lilac eyes.

The two kids are starting to fall asleep, already curling up as they massage Keqing sleepily. Keqing chuckles and kisses the children’s hair, but makes no effort to stop them from sleeping.

“Looks like you two are about to nod off.” She says, and the kids nod, blinking slowly. Keqing smiles softly, now looking at you. “I think the four of us can have a bedtime story together now. How about we read a book about a fun adventure?”

“That sounds wonderful, my love.” 

You nod, and you’re quick to go to the kids’ room and fetch a book. You all gather around together on the couch, and Keqing reads the book aloud. The story of a girl discovering an entirely new world brings a magical, cozy feeling to the room. The kids close their eyes and start to doze off. They are soon fast asleep in Keqing’s arms, and she smiles at you, before the both of you take the children to their bedroom.

Closing the door to the girl’s bedroom behind you, you take Keqing’s hand in yours with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, my love. I know you wanted a romantic night of relaxation.”

Keqing looks at you and smiles warmly, affection pouring out of her like a waterfall. 

“Oh, you know me. It’s okay. These things just happen sometimes, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Just one look at our girls, and all the tiredness has been washed away.” She presses a kiss to your cheek, and then pulls you close to her. She whispers to your skin, “I really love our life together.”

“It’s late, but…” You press your lips to hers tenderly. You smile at her, your eyes sparkling with playfulness and oh, so much affection. “That nice hot bubble bath sounds good. If it’s something that you still want?”

“Oh, I really do. After a long day of work, a comforting bath… Nothing could be better, to be honest. Let's get cozy and go to sleep afterwards.” Keqing nods enthusiastically, her lavender hair falling over her shoulders at the motion. “That sounds like the perfect conclusion to the day. Let’s go, my love.”

And then, you and Keqing head to the bathroom together to enjoy a beautiful conclusion to a busy day.

If you enjoyed this, please consider liking or reblogging it <3!

You can check more of my writing on (this link!). Thank you!

[appleofthemoon]

⸻   *  ❪  ❀  ...  CAT & MOUSE

premise. and just when jungwon thought it would be a boring night, another round of chase begins.

pairing. non-idol! yang jungwon x s/o! reader.

pantone. yandere.

word count. six hundred thirty four.

warning. overprotective yandere, possible allusion to drugging, the victim is addressed as a mouse, murder. 

note for the reader. the depiction of the muse does not reflect upon their behavior in the real world. the muse’s actions are also not condoned by me, this is all purely a work of fiction.

extra note. i haven’t written dark fics in over a month now so please excuse how rubbish this is. i’m using @/dear-yandere’s prompts as my warm ups.

CURIOSITY WON'T KILL THE CAT.

jungwon knows because he's still alive, sitting by your side. and he's entertaining himself by watching the mouse drag herself across the floor, painting a messy, crimson trail as she does so. when she reaches the doorway, she manages to pull herself onto her knees and press one hand upon her wounded abdomen.

silly little thing, she believes she's going to escape. heaving herself upright proves to be a mistake after the pain surges through every nerve in her aching body. and in such agony, she couldn't bother suppressing her scream.

his lips twist into a frown. really, did she have to make so much noise? cleaning the dirty floor is already going to be a pain and a half, now—

you begin to stir, eyes almost fluttering open. that is, until jungwon's humming bleeds into your dream. combine his dulcet lullaby with his gentle caresses upon your skin, and you decide there's nothing wrong with staying under for a little longer. eventually, his fingers dance across your wrist until he feels your slow rhythm once more.

“that's it, baby.” he leans over and kisses your forehead. “sleep tight, i'll deal with our little annoyance.”

satisfied, the dyed noir cat carefully pushes his chair back and removes his dress shirt. as he had come to learn a few months ago, red doesn't let go of white so easily. oh well, at least he knows now. it'd be a shame if he had to destroy another article of clothing—especially when this was one you loved to ‘borrow’ from him.

he picks up his knife and leaves your bedroom, remembering to shut the door as he does so. don’t worry, he’ll clean up the mess later. now that he's sure you won't be disturbed, he's free to run around and look for the mouse.

by a stroke of luck, he finds her wobbling down another hallway. jungwon has to give it to her; she's lasted longer than the others. in fact, he's so impressed, he thinks about letting her go.

“where are you going? you can't run or hide~” he taunts her, the words chillingly echoing through the air.

she looks over her shoulder and sees him getting closer. fear is consuming her, yet she still pushes herself to make it down the hall. it doesn't matter if the pain increases tenfold, she picks up her pace.

by the time the mouse reaches the stairs, there's not much energy left in her. realizing this, she resigns herself to leaning against the wall, chest almost caving in on itself as she slurs, “i'm sorry.. please don't kill me..”

jungwon crouches down and innocently tilts his head to the side. “why not?”

“please.. please.. i won't tell anyone..”

“i see..”

“i.. i swear.. i'll do anything..”

“any~thing?”

“yesss..”

he seems to give it some thought. she really is fun to play with. it wouldn't be far off to say she's the best toy he's had in a while. perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to keep her a little longer..

he draws out a sigh. “but you came here to hurt my baby, don't think i forgot that.”

indeed, for some reason, her stupid mind conceived the idea that by doing so, the pain your rejection inflicted upon her will ebb.

so jungwon decides to test the theory for her. of course, he makes a few modifications before that.

“wh.. why-” is all she manages to choke out before her body falls slack, just like her heart's rhythm. without her hands weakly fighting to pull his knife away, he gives it a little extra twist.

the cat, now satisfied with the knowledge that his theory is correct, merely smiles and lifts his bloody hand to pat her head.

“because experimenting is fun.”

[toaster-hair]

There’s a Human in the Neighborhood! (chapter 5)

(important authors note: Hi nyall :3! Sorry i havent written in so long, ive been more hyperfixated on other things like across the spiderverse and lolita fashion, and i’ve also been working on other projects. I have a skullgirls au tumblr blog, my original comic raw!fruit, im redrawing the welcome homes cast’s portraits with my own headcanons added, as well as general oc content. But with welcome homes new update, it motivated me to write again. I feel as though when welcome home is finally finished up, ill rewrite this entire fic to make much more sense. Anyways, heres a content warning. As said before, this fic focuses on how gross human anatomy can confuse wholesome puppets. Its a bit hard to write about gross anatomy stuff without veering into nsfw territory, so suggestions would be appreciated. But this chapter in particular is about periods! The fic is written about a gender neutral AFAB reader, so if youre amab or if periods are just off the table for you, feel free to skip!)

A painful stab at your stomach woke you up from your slumber. “Ough..” your sudden movement spooked your cat. You held your torso in pain, feeling a sharpness in your pants. It was still dark, with the only light being the sun coming through your blinds. You stood up, making your way to the bathroom and….

Blood. Lots and lots of blood stained your undergarments. That explained the sudden pain you were feeling, it was just that time of the month! You went back to your bedroom to make sure you didn’t bleed the bed, grabbed some clean clothes, and turned the shower on. You also grabbed some pads out of the cabinet under the sink. You brought them from your old house but you should probably buy some more later.

You stepped into your shower and let the warm water soak your body head to toe, flourishing yourself with all kinds of soap. Once you were finally cleaned up, you stepped out and dried yourself. You put on your clean clothes, grabbed some pain killers, and went back to bed.

-

You woke up once again a few hours later. You got up, did your morning routine, had breakfast, fed your cat, and picked up the phone. You decided you would call in sick because of the pain and nausea. God, why does the first day have to be the most painful? You dialed the number for FishEgg Boba and waited for an answer.

“Helloo? This is FishEgg Bobaaa. How may I help youuu?” You heard Casper answer the phone.

“Hey Casper, It’s Y/N. Uhh.. I know it’s only my second day but I’m calling in sick. I’ve got… cramps real bad. I don’t wanna move that much. Is that okay?” 

“Oooh. Sure that’s fiiine. Just make sure to come in tomorroww. See you thenn. Hope you feel better sooon.” And with that, he ended the call. You felt kind of bad. It was only your second day, and you were taking a break already. You were probably missing out on some training too! But at the same time, everyone made it seem like yesterday you were working too hard when you weren’t even on your period! You can’t imagine what it’ll be like to work like that while on your period. 

You then remembered your plan to get more pads. You were good for now, but it was always a good idea to stock up. You put on some outdoor clothes consisting of some basic gym sweats and a baggy jacket. You gave your kitty a goodbye kiss on the forehead and headed out the door. Gee, this was the second time in a row that you went to Howdy’s. 

Wait… Oh yeah they’re puppets. I forgot. I mean you forgot that they were puppets. Of course they won’t have pads. You went back inside and grabbed some money, looks like you were heading out of town after all. As you headed back out again, you spotted Wally walking out of his house as well. You walked over to him, sense you promised you would chat in the morning last night.

“Hey Wally! You wanted to talk more this morning, right?” you stared down at him. 

“Oh! Yes! I wanted to know about how it went. Ah, but shouldn’t you be at work right now?” he asked.

“Oh, uh.. Yeah, the thing is that I’m uh, not feeling very well. So I’m taking the day off. I’m going back tomorrow though.”

“Ah, I see. You aren’t sick again, are you? Do you want me to go get Poppy?” He held at your knees like a dog jumping on its owner. 

“No, no. Not sick, it's just.. I may gross you out at the explanation?” You gestured with your hands “Is that okay?” You asked. He stared at you with a blank expression but nodded his head.

“Okay so basically uh.. When a human with a womb starts puberty.. Uh, and a womb is used for baby making purposes by the by, their womb starts to shed for a couple of days straight each month. That’s because the womb wants to make a baby but doesn’t have the ingredients to make one, causing the womb to pump out blood. This can cause pain, nausea, all that nasty stuff. That’s just a basic explanation, anyways.” He kind of just. Stared at you with half lidded eyes the entire time. “Uh, I don’t need to explain what blood is right?”

“Oh no, we have that too.”

…

What. 

“W-wait, if you’re bleeding.. Then.. did you just start puberty??” There was this look of anxiety on his face, which felt so odd and out of character.

“No, no, you still bleed even after puberty. Well, that is until you hit your 60’s or something. It’s not gonna go away for a while.. Haha, if I was still that young, I wouldn’t even be here!” You laughed at him a bit. He let out a sigh of relief. 

“Sorry.. I don’t know much about how human bodies work…” He looked away out of embarrassment.

“Oh, I can show you.” You reassured him. “Ah- What??” He stared at you slightly horrified, slightly considering your offer.

“Yeah dude, there’s a ton of books about human anatomy. Going from the bone to the skin. I can order you one online! If you want, of course.” You pulled out your phone and showed him various different anatomy books.

“Oh… No thanks, I'm fine.” He turned down your offer in a slightly disappointed tone.

“That’s fine. I need to go out of town for a bit to go get something, see you later!” You waved goodbye as you started to walk to the train station. You then suddenly felt a sharp pain in your stomach, but you kept on walking.

You couldn’t see him, but you knew he was waving goodbye right back at you.

(A/N: i wrote this in one night i hope you enjoy!! Ill try to include sally and julie in the next chapter :3333)

[peachyloveswriting]

could i request a stan marsh x reader who is always hyper, i have adhd so i’d love to see the dynamic

FORGOT YOUR MEDS? --- Stan Marsh

SUMMARY: Spending the weekend with Stan, your medication was accidentally left at home leaving you to bounce all over the place and Stan to deal with it.

NOTES: I, myself, have ADHD. I take medication for it and I have for my whole life so without it I can be rather crazy. I know that not everyone is the same however this will be written based on my experience.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

A fan blows cool air onto my back and the white noise fills the room. I hadn't noticed the noise before having just finished chasing the butt end of a dream. I could still see it in my head, the realization of being awake is dreadful. So much so, that I'm having a hard time getting myself back into the dream. Disappointed, I turn onto my back and stretch an arm out over the edge of the bed with a groan. Letting my arm fall limp over the edge I release a breath and open my eyes.

The smallest amount of light peeks through the top of the curtains and it's blue. I know it's probably sometime in the late AM. With my highschool schedule and everything going on my body has set a routine clock internally. If it's not my alarm at five AM, it's walking up naturally at Eight.

In the corner of my eye is Stan. He lays beside me, black hair messy on top of his head. His lips are squished together by his cheeks pressed against the pillow and there's a small gap between them. Soft snores fall from him, urging me to fully turn towards him. Unannounced, I showed up on Stan's doorstep last night. I had already packed my bag for the weekend and walked all the way over here. I wasn't about to get denied. Thankfully, his parents like me. Randy's always telling me how good I am for him, I can see what he means. Stan's alcoholism has gotten so much better since I came into the picture. I'm glad he at least cut back for me.

Underneath my head comes a buzz, I had placed my phone underneath the pillow while we watched TikTok on his phone last night. Regretfully the buzz annoys me, sliding my hand under the pillow I tug the phone out to check the time. I was right, it's eight. I have a few missed calls and texts from someone, I'm not sure who. Unlocking it, I check it to see a missed call from Kyle. I'm not surprised, he's always calling me when Stan doesn't pick up the phone. The others are from my mom, I don't really feel like answering her right now. Ignoring the various texts, I move on to watching TikTok on my own phone. I'm not sure how long I watched them for but soon enough Stan's hands slid around me and pulled me closer.

"Morning." Cracking a smile I turn the phone off and toss it to the other side of the bed behind Stan. He grumbles at me and opens an eye. He doesn't say anything before he closes his eyes again and hides away in my chest. I smile down at him. Laying the way I am is almost unbearable with the way my legs keep having this inherent need to move. I struggle to keep still, needing a good stretch again. And for whatever reason I can't stop yawning.

"I want to go back to sleep." Stan finally says.

"Mood." Is all I can manage to say. Suddenly an unspecific spot on the bed is more interesting than looking at him. I can't take my eyes off of it even if I want my head to move. I can hear Stan talking to me but the words are washing right over me. Then suddenly there's clarity in his speech.

"You're zoned out aren't you?" He deadpans.

"Sorry." I look back at him. "Yeah."

He chuckles at me and sits up, running his hand through his hair. "It's fine."

I sit up beside him and slide a leg over the side of the bed. It bounces where it rests on the floor. "Did I wake you up?" I know I tend to listen to videos rather loudly but I can't help it. For some reason my volume is really quiet at times. He shakes his head and looks back at me.

"No."

We make eye contact and suddenly I can't help but look everywhere but him. My leg can't stop bouncing and this unstoppable urge to peel the skin off my lips with my teeth is insatiable. This wide, painful, face-spliting grin tugs at the corners of my lips. It hurts to smile for so long - and for why, I don't know - Almost like it's not me. But as fast as the moment came it passes. Stan's hand rests on my thigh and gives it a light squeeze.

I look up at him finally, feeling like my eyes are open the widest they've ever been. No matter how hard I try to make them feel normal it won't settle.

"Have you had your meds yet?" He asks. I scrunch up my face. "Why does that matter? I'm not any different."

Oh, so it's one of those days. The ones where not a single thought crosses my mind and the most pure unbiased thoughts spill from my lips. It's a shame, really. Knowing that Stan's going to have to put up with my bullshit today makes guilt fill my heart. I hate when he sees me like this. Though, no matter how harsh I treat him that soft look never fades. I still don't understand how he doesn't hate me yet for how rude and brash I can get.

"I know how you are, just go take them." He lifts his hand and places it on my back to urge me to take it. A devilish grin splits my face again. "And if I don't want to?" I query.

Stan let's out a sigh. "Then you're not going to like yourself later." His eyes are pleading me to just go on and do it but in the back of my mind, I know I might have screwed up. I should have checked the texts from my mom sooner, I left my medicine at home. At the realization my wild grin fades and instead one of extraordinary focus takes its place. Brows furrowed I reach over Stan and grasp my phone.

"I forgot them."

Stan frowns. "I'm sorry, maybe I have something that can take its place." His dad wouldn't have anything laying around the house like that so I shook my head.

"Just call Kenny. I'll pay him back Monday or something. Just get me a Xanax."

Stan just stares at me when I look at the message my mom had sent me. It really had been about my medicine. He shakes his head. "There's no point, you'll be crosseyed as a mother fucker you take one of those." He points out.

A short hysterical giggle leaves my lips. "It's fine, it's the same as Adderall right? I can handle it. I mean I take clean meth for crying out loud."

He sighs again. "Okay, I think we're gonna need that Xanax. Nothing against you, but I'm not adept enough to handle you in this state unlike your parents."

I knew he wouldn't be able to, nobody is. It doesn't seem to matter what I do but no one likes me when I'm like this. "Not surprised. You'll live."

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

"Yeah, we'll head over now." There's a pause. My knee is bouncing fervently and I pick at my fingers. "Okay, see you soon. Bye." Stan takes the phone away from his ear to end the call. With a sigh he slips the phone into his pocket and looks up at me. "C'mon, let's go." He moved over to the dresser where his keys lay.

I bounced up out of my seat, my hands swinging wildly at my sides. I'm half heatedly looking for my shoes though I can't seem to spot them nearby. "Stan. Where the fuck are my shoes?" I yell agitatedly.

He tosses them in front of me. Dumbfounded I stare at them with a slight laugh and collapse onto my ass. He stares at me in disbelief while I put them on. I'm doing it so lazily, my arms not even wanting to pick themselves up to move. I keep stopping, my hands refusing to help me. Stan keeps calling out to make me do it but I can't stop laughing. Moving to the floor in front of me, he reaches out to try and put the shoes on for me but I shove him away. A huf escapes his lips and I laugh harder. He's reaching back out to help me again but I swat his hands away.

"Will you just stop." He hisses at me. I fall into my back still laughing hysterically for no apparent reason. I'm trying to speak but my laughter silences me. My actions don't stop there though.

In the car, I'm watching the scenery pass me by while we ride. It's quiet, save for the music on the radio. I haven't said a single word since we left the house and the guilt is so much heavier now. I look over at Stan, his nonchalant face makes my stomach grow uneasy. I must have annoyed him back at the house.

"Sorry for what I did back at the house." I sound like a mouse. Small and insignificant. He glances at me for a moment.

"You can't help it." He simply mutters.

"But I can." I shoot back. "I can help it I just choose not to."

He shakes his head and clicks his tongue at me. "That's just what everyone else tells you."

If there's anything more true in the world it's what he said. Everyone tells me that it's my choice to act like this, I believe that to be true. Even more true than what Stan says.

"Yeah but I'm just a dick like this." I hope he doesn't have an actual reason to shoot back at me. It seems I swallow my pride though.

"You haven't been a dick to me." He takes a hand off the steering wheel to rest his elbow on the center console. "We're going to get you something to take for this anyway. Don't fret."

I lift a finger to my lips and softly bite the skin around the nail before pulling it away again. "I haven't been a dick to you yet. Just wait until it happens soon enough."

"Look, I understand that you dislike yourself in this state and all but you need to stop being so doubtful and negative." He casts a glance in the rearview. "I can't say much for myself but I can understand where you're coming from. Just try not to think about it too much. This really doesn't bother me."

"Really? How?" I ponder aloud. "I never shut up, I'm rambunctious, annoying-"

"Truth be told I see you like this often." Stan suddenly admits. I'm almost shocked by what he said. Since when has he ever seen me like this before?

"Your medication wears off late at night, more often than not you're with me. So I see you like this all the time. It's normal." He brushes it off like it's nothing, just showing that I truly don't bother him like I think I do.

"Oh." Is all I can manage. A moment of silence beats by before he rests his hand on mine.

"Don't worry. You're not a bother. I quite like seeing you smiling and laughing all the time even when it's borderline mania. How could I not love all of you." He smiles even though it's not directly at me. "In order for this relationship to flourish I have to love you equally and that's even without your medication. I still love you all the same."

His words bring a small smile to my face. The bouncing energy has left me for the moment, I can keep my eyes on his for more than just a brief second. This relief floods my chest and a weight feels lifted from my shoulders. I can relax like this knowing that he's okay with it.

"There you go." He urges. "You can relax now."