#sorry i'm fucking passionate about it

[kasumingo]

Got blocked by the OP of the diabetes post by saying that sugar IS considered one of the factors in type 2 diabetes 🥴

And it is super important to take it into consideration because eating refined sugar freely and drinking high fructose syrups and syrup-spiced drinks WILL fuck you up and potentially lead to life-threatening conditions in the long run

And that doesn’t mean cutting off sugar completely but be mindful what you put in your body lmao - you *do* need carbohydrates but carbohydrates do not mean white sugar and corn syrup - and your body can convert them from other sources AND healthier sugars

Feed yourself the best quality foods just like you’d your pets and loved ones

[deoidesign]

Hi, how did you learn to draw Steve's physique?

Ohh what a complicated thing to answer...

When it comes to how I learned to draw anything, it's hard to say anything too specific since it's always a culmination of many years of assorted study and practice... but I can try to do my best to explain some of the biggest things that helped me learn, some tips I keep in mind, and maybe at least some places to start/delve further.

(just a little disclaimer it's not like my drawings here are going to be 100% medically accurate.. they're just to illustrate concepts!)

The main thing about learning various physiques is understanding anatomy. Which feels obvious, but I don't mean proportions; these are important, but perhaps more important is understanding the skeleton and how it moves and learning where muscles connect to bones and where fat grows on the body. When you understand how these function on a more mechanical level, depicting form and movement in a way that feels natural comes in tow.

For instance, understanding things like the pronation and supination of the radius and ulna, as well as the fact that muscles can ONLY contract or relax, will help you understand a bit better which muscles will be flexed and which will not while someone moves. It's inherent to the positioning based on the structural makeup of the body... It's not like you NEED to memorize all the muscles and bones, of course, but understanding and gaining at least a passive familiarity with the concepts really helps.

In tandem with this concept is the way parts of the body flow into eachother. Muscles ALWAYS come in groups because they can only contract. Whatever muscle is there to lift something, there is a muscle on the other side to pull that bone back down. What this results in is a series of straight edges next to curves, which gives us a lot of really lovely "s curves" and dents and folds and so on and so forth just naturally occurring.

I would suggest at least learning the "bony landmarks", which are bones (usually) visible on the surface of the body. things like the iliac crest, the great trochanter, the 7th vertabrae, the acromion process... These can be used to help you understand the parts of the body as angles and relationships, rather than trying to remember lengths and sizes, which vary immensely... (since you asked about steve, he can be our model... also study these on your own don't just take my word for it haha, these are the ones I personally keep in mind)

I've done the same thing with body hair... learning where it grows and in which directions... It helps me make up variations without needing reference, because I have a set of rules I can follow.

The biggest thing that helped me understand all this on a much deeper level was my ecorche course. I sculpted this guy. We started by sculpting the entire skeleton to understand the bones, and then we added muscles on top. Not every single muscle, of course, but the "artistic muscles" AKA the ones which directly affect the surface of the body. Doing this let us see where muscles connect, because we would make a shape, put it on the bone where it actually goes, and then you get to see how other muscles overlap that.

This helped me, perhaps, more than anything else. But I also didn't just start with this course, I had been drawing for years before I even took it. I had been in school for years before I took it. Not that I think it wouldn't be helpful to someone just starting out, but I do think that the more you know going in, the better an in-depth course like this will help you and stick with you. Classes are also expensive, though so I'm not really like... recommending you pay potentially thousands of dollars to take one... But it did help me a lot, personally.

I also, of course, have done many figure, gesture, and master studies...

These just help you quickly gain a stronger understanding of generalized anatomy, and gives you real life examples of and practice with of how people move and balance.

What all this does when combined, is gives me a very solid ability to depict movement and form in a way that feels relatively natural from my subconscious without the need for reference.

The rest of how I've learned to draw his physique is honestly mostly just stylization. I understand the body, and this is how I am depicting it for his level of musculature.

And as I move into depicting him in other ways, either moving in comics or in animation, realistically rendered, or extra stylized, these concepts inform every step of that process for me! When he keeps the same/similar relationships between parts, he gets to still look like himself.

It ALSO really helps when putting clothes on, because the way cloth falls and bunches and lifts is all directly related to the form it is on... So the more you understand that form, the more you can depict clothing and movement in a way that feels natural.

This is all, of course, true when I draw anyone, you asked about Steve so I'm trying to mostly show with him! But because I'm just drawing from raw information of general anatomy rather than trying to study one body type at a time, it allows a lot more "give," I think!

Like, here's most of the cast from TTA so far... actually, they're not as varied as I thought they were nevermind LMAO ignore this part

But, it also makes monster and alien design much easier! It's a lot easier to come up with non-human anatomy when I understand human anatomy, because I can manipulate the knowledge I have...

There is infinite more to study in the world of anatomy... The complexity of the human body goes extremely deep. For our purposes as artists, we need only depict a fraction of it, but more information rarely hurts the process.

I'm sure there's something in here that's wrong on a technical level, I'm mostly going off of memory. But that's kind of my point - I understand enough generally and conceptually that when I am missing something and need to find reference for it, I understand what I'm looking at. It's much easier than trying to learn AND draw at the same time.

I hope even one thing in here helped you! Sorry it's so long.

[616witch]

it's not the powers that set us apart, but the courage that binds us together.

(not a ship edit, just a tribute to an underrated work-dad and work-daughter duo)

[youre-gonna-see-a-lot-of-me]

That's so fucked up that people are romantizing Franco, because even Red Barrels are showing him as a total creep and disgusting person. In Outlast Tag I have a feeling that some artists are making him completly different character, making him charming/safe/lovely. I even have seen some people who were drawing him with normal face (without big forehead) and you couldn't tell them that it's the right character design! I feel like Franco enjoyers are more agressive than fans of other Outlast character. Even with Coyle/Eddie simps they seem to understand that they are evil and they murder others, but with Franco I feel like they can take it when someone tell them that he's grown up, murder people in very brutal way and his voice lines are just disgusting... it really seems that people are getting agressive only because someone tell some shit about 🎀✨️Franco🎀✨️. I know his fans isn't the only one that have stick in their ass (cause I seen a lot of shit bout Coyle/Big Grunts/Easterman etc.) but yall need to understand that FRANCO IS A GROWN ASS MAN and you would run for your life if you'd meet someone in irl as 1% fucked up as he is. Saying that he's just a Baby and he made nothing wrong is just 🤮 and problem is in yall if you justificate him and things he made.

idk how to tell you this ,,,, but this game is fictional. The characters are fictional. You're free to feel however you want about them, just like I and anyone else is.

I partially agree with the part about changing his appearance to make him look more "normal" or whatever, but at the same time people are allowed to interpret their favs however they want to. They can draw / write for him however they want to. I don't like "fixing" his face, just because it (personally) feels like saying "he's too ugly", but again, that's just me. As an artist, I know that people are going to have different interpretations of a character I like. It's just part of other people existing in the world. Not everyone thinks like you do, and that's okay.

Do you know how many posts I saw (and STILL see) about Eddie Gluskin, doing essentially the same thing as what you said people do with Franco?? That man would cut you open to "make a baby in you" no hesitation and people still ""romanticize"" him (me fuckin included I LOVE YOU EDDIE). Its just part of liking fucked up characters, some people are going to want to make them more "normal".

Personally, I see the normalization as more like wanting to give him some normalcy in his life, because of his past / lore. I love the idea of letting Franco have a normal life, be a normal person. A life where he never had to deal with the stupid Mafia stuff, had a decent father and never ran into Murkoff, having a normal, happy life. But, I also seriously adore his original, fucked up character.

Honestly, who actually cares if people are "justifying" his actions??? None of them are real. He is not real. I have never understood the sentiment that you have to make sure people know you don't justify a fictional characters actions... they are not real. It's not a real person. None of the things he did happened.

Maybe it's just me, but I would not run from someone like him. That's not some edge lord "im so evil and dark" bs but because of my real life experiences. Been with and around people in my life / family who are quite like him and I didn't run.

I imagine some of us are using it as a sort of coping mechanism, because (at least for me) some of us dealt with people who treated us like he would. Though, that's getting into personal territory, and I won't try and speak for others.

All I can really say is either learn that not everybody's going to have the same ideas as you or block the tag. Sorry if that's too harsh a response, but life is too short to really give that much of a fuck about someone /something other people like.

And I've said this before but this is literally Outlast, all of the characters are this fucked up, it's not just him.

Like does no one remember Outlast 2??? Does no one remember the pile of dead burnt babies, or the hundreds of other fucked up things in that game?? I really feel like Franco does not compare.

So, can we please just be over with this now? I mean, drama is totally fun and I love it, but I can imagine others don't.

[necrotic-nephilim]

Give me your most controversial dc opinions!!!

HA YES GLADLY I WOULD LOVE TO (added a read more because i had a lot of words oopsie)

The Titans Tower Incident was in character for Jason Todd. at worst, it's a *bit* over-dramatic and a little cringey, but if you consider his actions, his motivations, and what he *actually* does, i honestly don't think it's OOC for him. he's just kind of a dramatic asshole in that era and i stand by that comic. the issue isn't the comic itself, it's how people interpret it.

i think the DC fandom, specifically the Batfamily fandom, really likes to claim to be progressive for brownie points, but then will have the one token woman that everyone decides is acceptable to hate. like, it's one thing if you dislike Carrie Kelley, i get it. Frank Miller isn't a great writer of women and she can be a lack of a character in the original Dark Knight Returns. but if you go out of your way making constant edits and posts shitting on her, it's *weird*. especially when most of the people shitting on her haven't even consumed her source, and their reasons for disliking her can apply to any other Robin, especially Tim. but as long as you put say, Steph or Cass on a pedestal, you can talk on and on about how you want to kill Carrie for the crime of existing. it feels like acceptable misogyny. i also think this extends to writers. if you put say, Gail Simone on a pedestal, you're free to blame everything under the sun on Devin Grayson. (to be clear i think you can and should hate Devin Grayson for a lot of things, but most rumors about her are untrue and if you look at every badly written comic and go "sounds like something Devin Grayson would write" that's really weird bc everything she's done, men like Chuck Dixon, Tom King, Tom Taylor, Marv Wolfman, etc have done in tenfold.) like, misogyny = bad unless it's That One Woman We've All Agreed To Hate. it's weird and i keep noticing it. and no one seems to unpack it. (i mostly see this on TikTok, not Tumblr tbf)

i don't care if you ship BruDick or not, but it's not weird for canon content to imply or state Dick had a crush on Bruce when he was first taken in. even in canon where Dick sees Bruce as a "father figure" in the most generous sense, that bond took years to build and when Dick was freshly orphaned, he *had* the memory of loving parents and didn't want Bruce to fill that role. you don't have to ship BruDick, you don't even have to like batcest, but if you're vitriolic toward just the idea that "hey maybe a young kid on the cusp of puberty might have some weird feelings to work out about the canonically very attractive mysterious playboy who took him in before seeing him as family because that bond took years to build" is nasty and terrible and wrong to you, you don't like the Batfamily, you just like the nuclear "neat" version of it in your head

the Batfamily characters are *all* too hypercompetent. like all of them are just *too* good at what they do that in order to write them in interesting arcs together, you have to willingly make some of them OOC in order to not immediately have the Problem wrapped up. i get it, Bruce is the greatest detective, Tim is wicked smart, Jason's a heavy hitting brawler, but we've reached a point where all of these characters have so many buffs they're not *fun* anymore. especially not in a group setting where you need to justify them needing each other's help. and even worse-so when they interact outside of the Gotham, you end up making every non-Batfam character seem useless just to make the Batfamily look cool. it's exhausting. i want to see these characters lose fights, look stupid, and not be the best for once. they're all getting so good they're just kind of. boring. which is the worst sin for a character, IMO.

i think we should go like. a good year of all Justice League-related teams not having a single Bat on the roster. just as a cleanse so *someone else* can shine. i get why non-Batfam DC fans are sick of the Batfamily bc jesus. it's oversaturation of the market.

power scaling "who would win" fights are fucking boring and i don't care. that's the least interesting thing about the fandom. you're missing the point of all of these characters if you only care about who could win a brawl. also it's just a stupid debate because the answer will *always* be: whoever the author of the comic wants to win.

the Batfamily is too damn big. i love every single one of them do not get me wrong. i'd die for the little niche characters who are likely never going to be relevant again like Julia Pennyworth or Kate Spencer. but it's too fucking big at this point. it's insisted to us that these characters are family but like. half of them have barely existed on the same page together more than once. it's ridiculous and it cannot sustain itself. none of these characters are allowed proper shine because they'll just get dropped for the next new shiny character. i think Maps Mizoguchi is a cool lil lady, but i know in my soul in like. three years she will fade into comics limbo and we'll have a new shiny character to fawn over. it's a brutal cycle bc DC doesn't know how to give any of these characters follow through, just wants to wave around cool new concepts.

both Under The Red Hood and Death In The Family are mediocre adaptations and strip the most important emotional elements of Jason's story from the plot. you can't properly adapt Jason's death if you leave his mother out of it. like they're phenomenal movies as their own pieces of media, but they lack the necessary emotional weight for Jason.

on the note of adaptations: the Young Justice cartoon is i think the best case study of "how do you react to a piece of media that's amazing on it's own, but is a fucking horrible adaptation?" because like, i can't discredit it. it's a good show. but it's a bad adaptation and i think people using it as an entry point for DC can make their views of certain characters and teams *very* warped. the Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey movie falls into a similar vein for me. if that movie was it's own thing with original characters, it'd likely be a top five movie for me. but because it's *such a fucking bad adaptation* i can't help but hate it for brutalizing the characters and the general concept of the BoP. it should've been a Gotham Sirens movie, and Young Justice should've been a Teen Titans show. and sure, adaptations don't owe us accuracy, but they have negative effects on the comics when they gain popularity. so i struggle to like Young Justice bc of how badly it's affected certain characters.

also on the note of adaptations: the best adaptation of how comic media operates is the Sandman tv show. adapting comics to tv shows or movies is difficult bc comic arcs don't operate the way show/movie arcs do, but the Sandman show proves it's absolutely doable to adapt the storytelling style while still making the typical adjustments you need for an adaptation.

DC needs more Deaf representation. in most areas, DC either matches Marvel or outperforms Marvel with representation of marginalized identities, but it's fucking tragic we have no deal Deaf rep in DC whereas Marvel has quite a few to pick from. this one is personal bc i'm Deaf but it does fuck me up the only option we have is a side character from Tim Drake: Robin who doesn't appear anywhere else and isn't a great character overall. DC i'm in your walls.

on the note of representation, if i see one more person say Titans had "perfect casting" while in the same breath admitting Dick was whitewashed, you are weird and i dislike you. it's really fucking weird that whitewashing is permissable to this fandom if the actor cast/fancast is hot. Dick should've been a Roma actor. Damian should not be fancast as a white actor. it's the bare minimum.

i have so many more but i will end with this especially controversial one: Dan Mora's art is overhyped. that man has the worst same face syndrome i've ever seen and i will not lie half the time i can't tell which Robin he's drawing. his art is technically gorgeous and it's so pretty to look at, but begging for every comic series to be drawn by him is boring and terrible. the art style of a comic reflects it's genre. wanting all comic art to look like Dan Mora's art is sucking the style out of comics. i miss art styles like Todd Nauck's that clearly reflected the genre of the comic.

i lied i have one more i'm REALLY passionate about: Tim's vigilante name after Red Robin should not be bird-themed. naming him Sparrow or Cardinal is *just* as bad as naming him Red Robin longterm. they're *just* as derivative and they *sound* cool but don't hold any real unique identity for Tim outside of Robin. like it baffles me we all agree he needs to move on from Robin and then decided "let's name him Robin Lite". if he has a bird name, it should be Jackdaw so at the very least, he's not red anymore. and Jackdaw could be a fun callback to Drake, in that it uses part of Tim's real name (his middle name, Jackson) while standing out a bit. but if i really had creative control i'd give him a completely unique name. if it has to be Batfamily related, Gray Ghost. but in my head, his name should be Conspiracy. i could write a lengthy meta on why and tbh it is based in my love for the Question and wanting Tim to have a similar detective noir-esque gritty solo, but i genuinely don't think he should be Cardinal or Sparrow. those names only continue his identity issues of being trapped as either Robin or a Robin knockoff.

[dimonds456]

I hate it when people call the Walt Disney Corporation "the mouse."

No. Leave Mickey out of this.

Mickey has always been and always would be on our side. He supports the people around him unconditionally. He loves "evil" people, and his enemies, despite being a bit of a trickster and knowing when not to pull his punches. He's determined to help. He always looks for the bright side of things. He is a ray of sunshine in a dark and horrible world.

He was made in the 1920's and became such a popular figure in the 1930's because of the Great Depression, when people looked up to him to make them laugh and bring joy back in their lives. And he did that. There is a very likely chance that Mickey saved real people in the real world just be showing up and being himself, something corporate Disney would NEVER do.

Even when fighting Pete or the Beagle Boys, even if he doesn't pull his punches, he always shows understanding and compassion towards them if the situation calls for it and he's able. He always prioritizes the safety and well-being of his actual friends, but he has never, EVER told someone they didn't deserve love, or support, or unconditional acceptance.

Mickey is on our side. Don't group him in with homophobic, transphobic, bigoted corporate Disney. He's better than that.

[ebonytails]

sorry my post is just to complain but guys i literally hate adobe after effects. i can not explain to you the mental torture and how LOW it has brought my mental health because I *need* to use it for my post production class because it's "industry standard". ADOBE After Effects has made me write off the entire film and video production industry as a turn off and I never want to do it ever again.

The amount of times this has crashed on me where I lost everything? 5+ hours of work? 8+ hours of work? It's my fault for not saving sometimes but I also have auto-save on. it didn't save anything so im just left with nothing.

You want a trip to burn out town really quick? Use adobe after effects in an academic setting where you have no choice but to use this program.

I have never in my life TOUCHED a program SO TERRIBLE that it made me never want to do anything about that form of art/media EVER AGAIN

[sciderman]

How do you feel about the increase in really weird NSFW ads on here (advertising panels that look like sexual encounters, and AI art apps that pride themselves on porn) but will take down NSFW posts from their users, even if it isn't technically sexual.

i hate all social media and it's consistent prioritising the advertisers over the users and the internet simply was a better place before capitalism sunk its hooks into it

[nyxofdemons]

this was going to be like a mile long essay but i just realized the most concise way to say it is that "it feels like a retcon that blitz has been so resentful and hostile towards fizz all this time since he was supposed to feel guilty" is simply not a good criticism when we have been shown, time and time again, that blitz's number one defense mechanism when he feels guilty or judged or attacked is to lash out, to deflect and ignore all his responsibility, and to shift the blame to someone else. that's like. his defining character flaw

[crumb]

[memento-morri-writes]

So, it's been a million years since I've done any real writing, but I was toying around with potential descriptions for one of my dnd campaigns, and I'm really proud of how it turned out:

tw for graphic description of an injury

Every inch of [Rook's] back and shoulders is raw, covered in dozens, maybe hundreds, of small cuts. They overlap and merge so that his entire back is one giant wound. But you can't even get a good look at the cuts, because they are covered by a thick layer of dried blood, almost black in some places.

This will be part of the description the party gets upon seeing Rook for the first time after he was kidnapped by Captain Wolf, and dear god I can't wait to see their reactions both in and out of character. :)))

[eremin0109]

I still don't understand why Woo Do hwan isn't more popular like he's an impeccable actor, has a phenomenal screen presence, he's drop dead gorgeous, has a face that can go from innocent to sad to fucking filthy in a SNAP and has a voice that could make the angels cry like WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT WHY IS HE NOT GIVEN MORE MAIN ROLES WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU KOREA!????

[boxwinebaddie]

uncle ninaaaa since u talked abt please please please by miss sab carpenter as ravesey ( i love this idea im obsessed btw like if u ever write a para on them doing this mv i would eat it up and i already eat up everything u write !! ) , do you think ravenstan would do a diff style for the song or keep it essentially the same as her vers ? and would the mv elements & settings change at all ?

OKAY!!! SO LISTEN!!! LISTEN!!!!

LIIIIIIIIIIIISTEEEEENNNN!!!!! aAaaAAAAAAAA~

i thought i was bein too self-indulgent and INSANE when i made that headstannon because i have been listening to please please please nonstop for Days, so i am stoked you understand the VISION!!!!

like it is just soooo...*sTARTS FERAL GIRL SCREAMING*

you Know i LOVE a little music video moment!!! ;)

( also Thank You for what you said about enjoying all the silly little things i write — it really means The World to me <3 ;-; ) and bc i am criminally and batshit Insane, i have an entire concept, thought about ALL the corresponding music video outfits and i gave cd doing the song a little ~Lore~ bc i need everything that i do to be extremely thorough and have basis in my weird little rm auniverse.

so...beneath the cut is literally nothing that anyone needs to read necessarily — plus, i get the feeling i am going to be long winded and scream a lot — so there is no obligation ( as with anything i write or create ) to read this, but should ye dare; i thought i was going aWHFF.

...you Do, however, need to know about the music video/song to understand pretty much anything i am talking about/referencing or else it will sound like complete *sab carpenter vc* Nonsense, so i am going to link the plsplspls mv riiiiight HERE. it...is a work of Art. and i am so sorry you cannot tell me that is not Them like....OKAY.

*breathes aggressively into a paper bag*

it's insane feral girl mv time ( w/ plot & a lil twisty-twist )

EDIT: NO, WAIT, ACTUALLY, IT'S REAAAALLY LONG.

HO-LY FUCCC.

i just checked and this ask meme is literally...3,772 words. not of fine literature or nina prose, btw. of me. it’s all just lowercase…Screaming. with links. like i literally added…Links. SO UNLESS YOU HAVE AN HOUR ON YOUR HANDS OR REALLY WANT 3K WORDS OF PROOF THAT I DESPERATELY NEED TO RECIEVE A FKN CLAIRES LOBOTOMY, Please, Please, /Please/, don't read this, lmao.

but on the off chance that you do...

i hope you heal, smile pendejo,

and ofc, as always, now and forever...

please enjoy the very WORST part of your day.

-Evil Genius Uncle Nina <3

*cracks knuckles aka my writer girl carpal tunnel*

alright, so i am going to say that all of this takes place Post RM and marjorine actually plays a large part in it ;) xx ( ilysm marj )

because one of the things that i am the most bummed about regarding spoiling my fanfic/answering asks about it is that, in order to give you guys as much Ravesey!Style content as possible and because there is just SO much happening at all times, i don't really get to talk about the sideplots as much as i would like or fully unpack all the epic side-relationships in the rmverse.

and the lil ~second string romance~ that happens in rm...

Is Kenjorine <333

( AAAAAAAA I LOVE KENJORINE SO MUCH ) and throughout rm they've kind of had this slow burn Will They Won't They thing going on because, y'know, dating within the band is Strictly For-boden because it's messy and has the potential to cause looots of problems…

( scott having a crush on jimmy and jimmy vice versa was Soooo against the butterfly trampstamp boy band brotherhood code of ethics, but just this One time, i will support mens rights...and Wrongs )

however, my dear darlings, the Biggest hang-up regarding my kids not hooking up and instead settling down was that KENNY IS A MAJOR SLUTFACE HO-BAG ( also the LOML it's okay ) and the devil's lil boytoy plaything, which meant dating in that sense was also...

Strictly For-boden.

HOWEVER! post rm, it went from marj relentlessly pursuing kenny and following them around like a little love-sick puppy, to kenny being extremely HEADASS for marjorine and like begging her to their girlfriend...which marj, ofc, wants more than anything in the world...but she's trying to Protect Her PEACE! ( good for her )

because her and kenny had a lot of messy, fucked up moments in rm where she got hurt a lot by them, but she's also that one friend you have that IS CONSTANTLY dating losers...and i mean

/Constantly./

bc i'm sure it seems like bebe would be That Girl, but barbara angelica stevens does Not Date LOSERS, okay??? because she's a bad motherfucking bitch...but also because, in her line of work aka camming, she has to stay on the market/look available bc if people find out she's dating someone it'll fuck up her (s)income )

and marj....Sigh.

god bless her, is v sensitive, easily swindled and super vulnerable. that unfortunately makes her an easy target for *tlc vc* BUSTAS and dirtbag douchebag guys who demolish her heart and leave her crying on the couch with bebe, tweek, craig and kyle all holding her, handing her tissues n telling her she's gotta stop fuckin w/ losers.

( it is ironic for j.k...but he is a PROFESSIONAL HEAUX. )

ANYWAYS! kenny is trying to get marjorine to be their girlfriend and reform their womanizing, manizing, peoplizing ways, but marj keeps Rejecting Them because she's scared. and rightfully so, queen!

Protect! Your! PEACE! THIS PRIDE MONTH, MY LOVES!

but back to plsplspls and it's ~Immaculate Conception~:

and it...pains me to do this: miss sabrina carpenter, i am so sorry, babygirl, ilysm legend, but to make this actually Work in my fanfic universe, i am going to say that she either doesn't exist or didn't write the song because...

Marjorine Wrote It.

...Specifically About KENNY. ;)))

sPICY, RIGHT???

but basically, marjorine approaches ravenstan one day, mad nervous, poor angel, and asks if she can

'show him something she wrote. '

...and he is SO EXCITED, marjorine is his Baby, his transgirl princess, he vouched heavily for her during auditions and Made them put a girl in the band because she fkn shred. so, naturally, he pats an empty spot on the couch, marjorine sits down, drapes her legs over ravenstan's beautiful cinnamon scented lap because they are besties and says Of Course, Margorina <3 ( ravenstan calling marj margorina is so stinkin cute to me, i love them so much wow )

soooooo she breaks out her cute little hello kitty journal, ravenstan gives her his super weathered, emo-boy stickerbombed aucostic guitar to play and she sings please, please, please to him. <3

( she gets nervous a lot but #baeven is the cutest nicest person in the world so he squeezes her shoulder a lot and tickles her leg c’: )

marjorine finishes playing and is cringin so hard going ‘was that the worst thing you've ever heard?’ IT WAS NAUGHT BTW, HE THOUGHT IT WAS A STROKE OF GD GENIUS AND GAVE HER A LIL ROUND OF APPLAUSE WHEN HE COULD SPEAK BC HE HAD A LITERAL STROKE & WAS BREIFLY BREATHTAKEN, WOWZA!!!

but also like *eye emoji* 'is this about who i Think it is?'

*pierced eyebrow wiggle*

ravenstan is soooo Team Kenjorine, btw.

like him and kenny grew up together, chef basically raised them and he wants kenny to get his act together SO BAD, jersey is a hater, btw, he is also very overprotective of marj...i will say in the second half of rm, he does warm up to kenny after threatening them within an inch of their immortal life like

'i don't care if you're immortal, skeleton key, if you hurt MY marjorine, i will find a way. SO WATCH YOUR BONY FUCKIN BACK, BITCH!'

anyways, she's like...sigh, 'is it that obvious?' which...Yes, baby. but goes onto explain that it is about them but she wrote it out of spite.

however, Despite that, crimson dawn does need One More Song to add to to the tracklist of their upcoming album, so loverboy ravenstan with the plan, ( who is in a big ratty stanime shirt, his pijama pants and, ofc, the sharkchanclas bc when r.s. is not in The Raven Cosplay, he's the most slovenly, sickeningly fione man on earth )

gets The Stanley Marsh Smolder in his pretty blue eyes then suggests that they not only put it on their new album, but make it the Single, that she sing it, and use to address talk to kenny without having to SAY anything...

…Annnnd Not So Secretly Humble Them. <3

( marjorine really said Don't FUCK With Me, Fuckboy! )

but is like 'nO, NO, NO I CAN'T SING IT, YOU'RE THE LEAD SINGER YOU SING ALL OUR SONGS, PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ME' *hides face in hands, is regretting her entire life, aaaa*

then r.s., v earnestly and preciously, takes her hands in his and says:

'this is YOUR song, preciosa. your truth. plus, i can't sing that high…but what i CAN do is sing your backup vocals. that way if you get nervous...i'll have your back.

*cute boy ravenstan under eye beauty mark wink*

Literally. ;)

so what do you say, margorina...'

bats his eyelashes, and so she'll laugh, sings

'Please, Please, Pleeease?' <3

CUUUUTE AAAA. she also thinks this is cute, caves and says 'okay, okay, Okaaaay~ but on ONE. CONDITION."

*dramatic slightly southern pause*

"You And Kyle Have To Star In The Music Video." :*

BECAAAAAUSE ravenstan and jerseykyle have been secretly dating for a Hot Minute ( and i do mean HOT, baby ;))) xx ) ever since the tail end of rm and have been *wanting* to go public abt their relationship [ sneaking around is lowk spicy, but they are soo over it, dude, fml ]

bc they wanna hold hands, go on real #hates and just be super fkn annoying in public ( also, just know the ravesey alleygations are damning, istg the ravesey die hard dawn spawn should all go to columbia LAW for the mountains of Evidence they are building -- with shrines, probably -- for #RaveseyGate ) but weren't really sure how to do it because it's kind of a big deal and changes Everything.

...buuuut it would soft, basically Hard Launch their relationship, so they wouldn't have to release an annoying statement, pluuuuus...

majorine already /has/ a FIRE Music Video Concept!

( she is a creative queen, i love her. also, since you asked, it is basically the same as sab carp's bc i get the feeling that miss marjorine watches a lot of really old, vintage movies and reads those smutty pwp paperback romance novels with the huge curly font and the dramatic picture of some dummy fine mad ripped shirtless guy and sexy scantily clad lady looking longingly at each other bc their love is *nina vc* Strictly For-bodden on the cover.

...iykyk. )

buuuuuut ravenstan has to ask kyle, which...

OOF.

tbh y'all: he's a liiiittle worried...

...bc he does Not think j.k. is gonna do it.

so naturally, he's buttering up that man up for the Kill, does laundry, finishes the dishes, pours ky a glass of box wine, sits Very Seductively ;) in jerseykyle's lap and says

'hoooola, miiiiii amor, have i told you how handsome you look today? or how funny and smart you are? like so so funny and so so smart! w-wowza, h-haha...anyways...will you do Something for me, guapo?' <3

ft. yersey squinting bc he's already sussed by the flirty ravenstannish ( stan in his lap is a MAJOR W tho ) going

'it...Depends'

LIKE HE WOULDNT DO ANYTHING FOR R.S IF HE ASKED LIKE STFU UR NEVER BEATING THE SIMP ALLEGAYIONS, JK!!!!

point. And. LAUGH!

pero like long story short, ravenstan asks him if he'll do the music video and he is Seriously Rambling And Gambling, trying to convince kyle to do this and is like 'it's for marjorine, it would mean a lot to her' rambling, rambling, rAmbLing and mid-sentence kyle is just like

'sure; i'll do it.'

whICH GAGS THE HELL OUT OF STAN, OH MY GODD.

but honestly…i really do think that kyle understands what it would mean to marj and secretly...

iiiii think he thinks it might be Fun. ;)

rs does not know this though so he's like *confused giant eye boy blinking* 'you...you'll do it?' and jersey, still tryna to be an unbothered, unsentimental king, says 'well, i don't want you makin crazy googly eyes at some annoyin airheaded actor guy in ya tiny pants'

( oh my god, hi jealous jersey ) cue stan literally yelling

AAAA NEVER!!! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOOOOVEYOUUUUUU~~~~

peppers jks pretty statuesque face w/ one million thousand excited Kisses, hugs him and almost CRUSHES him to Death bc he’s so happy. with alleged unbothered unsenitmental jersey literally Squirming like

''yeah, Yeah, YEAH, whAteVa! now quit smotherin me, you're gonna make me spill my wine.' >.>

( showing j.k any affection is like trying to kiss a hissing street can. he is…blushing like hell though, oh my god. )

then is like *squints again*

'—but speaking of your little pants, rockstar boy…

...i don't have to wear a Silly Outfit, do i?'

WHICH....I MEAAAAAAAAAAAAN...

so here’s my raveseystyle!pleasepleaseplease mv PITCH.

it's a home run i think, btw. ;)

edit: so i forgot to say, marjorine is singing it w/ her cute slightly southern twang ( also yes, ravenstan mouthing it is really funny ) stan does do all the backing vocals like an octave lower and i think the vibe is mostly the same, just harder w/ more electric guitar <3 i forgot to answer that part of your question, my bad bb...but an-ee-Wayz!

so i think the entire music video is just one gigantic cameo/easter egg just full of little references ft. all the people they know. like, legit, no outside actors, just all of their friends/rm side chars.

also i can Vividly see that jail scene in the beginning but it's ravenstan in a some glitzy high fashion mesh metallic top and his demonias after a rough night out doing god knows what ( idk what they locked him up for...punk rocking too hard? being bi without a lisence? buying too much taco bell? being too Fine? Indecent EXPOSURE? )

and i think marj’s little cameo is that she is the police officer :) wITH ACAB ALL OVER HER UNIFORM BTW!

CRIMSON DAWN SAYS FUCK COPS!!!!

and yells 'mCELROY!

SOMEBODY BAILED YOUR ASS OUT!’

( stan going by chef's last name instead of marsh is so cute to me aw, i hate you randy, pls die ) but he gets, up, shrugs and does the cute lil

'Oh, Me?' ;) xx thing

also i think officer marj being like 'i said go left' via the og vid is so funny bc u knooow stan's tiny locationally challenged hiney would go in the wrong fkn direction, lmao, i fear that might not have been scripted, god bless him...also...bc he's technically marj in the mv...do i…have him go Blonde again?

...it's for the ART, okay!!!!

anyways, she hands him his belongings in that clear evidence bag and i think what's in Ravenstan's Bag is probably: the big obnoxious upside down cross earring, his signature heart vial necklace, a lil pack of cinnamon extra gum andddd...a shitty black CVS eyeliner pencil. :)

which, instead of doing lipstick, i think he totally starts doing his Eyeliner in the reflection of that scratched up prison info-window. like just starts absentmindedly filling in his waterline and everything. king shit.

CUE JERSEY WHO....wHEEEEEW.

you can Tell that man was meant for Jail...

because he's got F-I-N-E written AAALL OVER HIM.

but, alright so...Concept?

i really wanted to lean into the OG Jersey!Kyle design, so i'm putting him in the baggy, ripped up, bad boy, street fighter jeans, THE KYLEY B TANK TOP WITH KYLEY B WRITTEN ON IT IN SHARPIE, the star of david chain necklace and oooh, do i slick his hair back? STAAAHP.

edit: i just remembered that because of the gunshot wound...jersey's hair is short which...lowkey?

kind of a LEWK, HONESTLY????

but okay, they're reading him his miranda rights, he's rolling his eyes. i think his contacts are in...for Vibes? idk.

( look, you just gotta rock and roll with it, baby. )

during this, i honestly think he should spit in whatever one of their friends is playing the cop's face ( bonus if it's clyde, help ), i also think they should take his bone thug mug shot with his middle finger up,

regardless, stan and ky Lock Eyes,

and it is....Extremely STEAMY, my goodness.

( pls note: if they are staring longingly at each other or are very down horrendously/not so slyly checking each other out, they're not playing it up for the cameras, they’re Simply Obsessed with each other. )

my lil mv divergence is that i think jers should give raven The Nod, v suggestively mouth 'Call Me' xx. ;) and r.s. should be chewing a piece of his gum, blow a big ass bubble and have it POP! for shock value.

listen...Listen:

I AM A VISIONARY, OKAY!!!!

THIS IS (M)O(V)IE MAGIC, COMRADES!

This is MY Mo!mentttttt!

speaking of moments, i thought that part where sab and barry were talking on those iconic jail phones and touching their hands together against the glass was cute asf, so that's staying. outfit wise, idk how to replicate the sick blue dress/shawl thing, but i'll put him a blue fit ig and he can wear the blue standana have some sunglasses as a treat. i kind of want them to be the flame ones...pls. also think j.k. is wearing the stan s necklace and r.s. is wearing the kyle k choker. <3

Gay Rights. happy pride month.

and when they let kyle out...i'm putting him in THIS outfit from it's a jersey thing because i am Obsessed with it. it really has to give like harley davidson, affliction sleeveless shirt/tank top, crazy ed hardy jeans, gigantic chunky sneaker, gold chain, y2k hot boy cringe VIBES.

( i love you edgy boy yersey, that man looks fine as hell. also no sleeves that whole mv, we just get to marvel at j.k.'s beautiful, freckly, MASSIVELY TONED ARMS for 4 minutes & 22 seconds...ur welc. )

but *sweats* do we see...My VISION?

*will graham vc* This Is My Design.

and i’d say sorry for insanely and meticulously matching their outfits to sab/barry's in the OG video but again.…I’m A Visionary.

as such, i am totally going to take the gigantic jacket that sabrina is wearing and have it be...The Stanley Marsh Signature Leather Jacket with all his lil emo boy pins ( do i leave the 'I Love Nerds' pin on it ) ft. ofc, a cd blood moon pin, a #raveseyforever pin and the bi-flag.

i’m also totally putting him in the tiny vegan leather pants and what else but...THE SAVE ROCK, FUCK A ROCKSTAR TANK TOP.

god, i'm sorry, this is IMMACULATE content to me.

also stan is 5'10" but he can be tall and wear his lil doc martens and cool goth boy platforms that whole mv bc that is hot boy shit.

beeeeesitos, ravenstan. :****

AS FAR AS THE CAR GOES THO...originally, i was like i should have the car be stan's cool badass celebrity boy motorcycle ( ily crim ) BUT

I KIND OF THINK IT WOULD BE SICK IF IT WAS LADY.

lady is my favorite rm side character, btw. :*

so yeah, ravesey reunite in the jail parking lot with stan loungin on lady and they drive off into the sunset. <3

NOW REGARDING THE PART WHERE THEY'RE IN THE RESTAURANT, i thought it would be cute asf if it was Cookie's Diner to reference their first hate and cookie can cameo in it ( edit: i forgot i think on 'so act like a stand up guy' jimmy is doing standup or sit down, aka what he used to call his routine for gigs bc he can't really stand )...but back to cookie, who leads them into the backroom with all the bad guys and thugs, who are kingpinned by none other than The King himself...

Chef ;)

CHEEEEF CAMEO!!!!

who...got a little Too IN Character.

( bc i know he kind of wanted to beat kyle's ass at first, he was like that is my precious son, you no good new jersey Gangbanger! they are cool now, i promise, but given that most of rae’s childhood was spent with him trying to prevent stan from trying to track jersey down and blow his cover...chef had to Cook a little, tbh. )

idk who all the goons are, probably like tolkien, all of kyle's law student friends, other waiters/waitresses working at cookie's, but what i do know is that scene in the backroom wITH JERSEYKYLE FUCKING THUGS UP GODFATHER JOHN WICK MOB-STYLE IS SO GOOD.

( also i never finished it -- what's new -- but him cracking a huge bottle over someone's head is actually beautiful foreshadowing because in the post-divorce future where kyle is in that back alleyway fight, gets his shitrocked and then rocks those three drunk guys ShiT for trying to talk sHIT?? on his punrock ex??? yeah....Yeah. beautiful. )

speaking of....can we see ravenstan in the doorway, singing, being oblivious, batting his eyelashes, archin his back doing hot boy shit...Wowza. truly a blessing. kind of want to put him in that sexc red corset top thing sabrina was wearing bc it's fuego and i saaaaid i wouldn't put him in the new perspective anti-christ leather mini AGAIN but tbh? my mans flat ass looked phenomenal in that Thang and i Do think the sick kindness dagger thigh tattoo should make a guest appearance At Least ONCE. we deserve a win, everyone.

and we stay winning, because lady gets to come back. and while ravenstan is patching up jerseykyle's fake black eye ( also delicious foreshadowing ) and the back of the car pops...i think the person tied up in the trunk...SHOULD LITERALLY BE SOMEONE DRESSED UP EXACTLY LIKE CARTMAN SO WE CAN LAUGH.

edit: stan flipping kyle off from the car…amazing.

but fr they really were acting crazy when they were making this mv, they said fuck you cartman, rot in hell, you piece of sHIT. that was a win for the crimson dawn boys bc he tortured them for his entire reign of Terror running that evil record company...*jersey vc* JUSTICE!

anyways, INJUSTICE bc jerseykyle robs a bank in that next scene, i'm sorry he just gets to live in that sleeveless y2k ed hardy looking ass black shirt and the baggy jeans because i am obsessed with scary sexc hoodlum yersey, it's also extremely funny because he is literally always in a button down and slacks...

SPEAKING OF!!!

( nina stop saying speaking of challenge, smh )

sabrina's little cropped button down office siren outfit, i actually had this dating hc that stan took one of kyle's suits he was going to get rid of, SHREDDED IT WITH SCISSORS!!!!

made it into this super raw, edgy, shabby chic rockstar haute whore couture art piece and i thought abt having him wear it at a show as a lil nod to kyle but THIS MIGHT KYLEY-B THE MOMENT!!!!!

THIS MIGHT BE /IT/ YALL!!!!

and ravenstan looked v cute, if i may, <3 the hip tattoos were hip tattooing SO HARD ( i am srs when god made stan he did not have to give him that slutty lil waist like what do u need that for WHORE??? )

jerseykyle's jaw doing the scary boy twitch at the bank teller holding the prop gun and then cheeky bad-boy winking at ravenstan? <3 i am obsessed...also grabbing his hand and escorting emo boy bambi business uncasual ravenstan all shook out of the bank? CUUUTE.

all the money is monopoly money…for shits and gigs.

THIS IS SOOOOO LONG, HELP ME. I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH, I FEAR THIS IS INSANE AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS BUT THIS IS MY BLOG, I DO WHAT I WAAAANT BROTHER.

okay, the part where kyle gets arrested Again. rip. smh. canon. that lil black outfit? i'm sorry but if i don't put ravenstan in this lil black shirt with the leather chest harness and the tiny pants...it will haunt me. it'll also haunt me if i don't tell y'all that i had an hc where one time backstage stan was also wearing this lil chest harness thing bc he’s a baddie ( i think it crisscrossed in the shape of a satanic star ) AND JERSEYKYLE PULLED HIM UP TO KISS HIM...BY THE LEATHER CHEST HARNESS???? he never…Ever recovered from that, oOF.

the deeply madly in love simp staring while kyle gets carted away with ravenstan singin to him, holding his face...Beautiful.

with all the side characters shaking their heads like smh kyle please stop doing ILLEGAL SHIT, BROTHER! its okay, he gets out of jail again, they're in the parking lot, lady is back, stan looks Pissed...it is unfortunately not forced because i think that baeven mi amor mi vida has pulled yersey out of the police station a lot bc hes always on some angry boy easy to provoke rage mode FUCK SHIT...its why stan begged him to stop fighting because it was stressing him out. :(

( he also loves kyle v much n hates like seeing him hurt )

BUT ONTO THE MAIN EVENT ( we're almost done guys, i promise ) in that lil questioning room with the table and the chair...listen, i don't know how to replicate this outfit Either, all i know is that ravenstan was def in something white and i think this waist chain belt situation happened in lieu (lewd) of the gigantic silver buckle...AAAAAAAA.

i don't know, okay? HE! LOOKED! GOOD!

( he also was totally rocking The Sexc Lip Ring Chain )

that's what Matters!!!

jerseykyle...also looked good. HONESTLY FOR LAFFS I THINK I SHOULD HAVE KYLE NOW WEARING THE SAVE ROCK FUCK A ROCKSTAR TANK TOP...idk maybe stan can be in the kyley b one. listen, it's giving the super gay chad/ryan outfit switch in hsm. mwah.

GAY! RIGHTS!!!!

that scene is...very gay, btw. it was also STEEEAMY, whEw! stan swinging the handcuffs in kyle’s face looking bad as hell, oh my God! tbh jersey did think this was funny because okay go off Dom King Ravenstan like he can ask for a fork without whImpErIng, but also spicy scary stan...he was Sweating. i have never seen a man want to violently kiss a man as much as jerseykyle wanted to kiss raven, i know truly horrible things happened in the undressing room. woops.

but the preformance art of that entire thing, ravenstan handcuffing jersey ( also why the HELL did barry arch his back like that, who told him to do that, i know it wasn't scripted, it also wasn't scripted for kyle either he was like oooooh my god HI SCARY STANnsdhlsd )

he was like please, Please PLEASE

— Step On Me in the scary goth boy demonias.

OKAY, ITS THE END!! WE REACHED THE END!!! NINA PLEASE SHUT UP!!! JERSEYKYLE PLEASE SHUT UP ALSO IG bc stan does the thing where he duct tapes kyles mouth...that was also doing crazy things to him...boys will you please stop thinking about touching ass and think about touching Grass, maybe? A BIBLE??!

maybe i'll put stan in a lil black lipstick so when he gives jersey that little kiss at the end it can also leave a lovely lipstick kiss mark except in a goth font....with jersey staring at him in wonderment and awe.

ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE!!!!

CHEEEEEEEEERS! MAZ-EL! <3

-uncle nina, sabrina carpenter superfan

[hapalopus]

"Bjergfolk er Danmarks trolde" hey what the fuck do you mean by that, what the fuck do you mean by "the mountainfolk are Denmark's trolls" I'm pretty sure trolls are Denmark's trolls.

I love that website, but man, I wish they'd provide more specific references for,,,, everything. There's a REASON I cite my sources like this:

If I just said "sometimes a Drawingdoll looks like a mangy baby rat" and left it at that, no one would know if it was from an actual pre-20th century source, if it was something someone told me on the playground, if I read it in a fantasy novel, or if I'd pulled it out my goddamn ass

I wish I could just get all modern folklore enthusiasts to CITE THEIR SOURCES. Otherwise we end up with travesties like "The Hazel Ram is actually like the Danish chupacabra" like, no it's not, fuck off Bo Bomuld Hamilton-Wittendorff, I only liked your book when I was 12

[beanghostprincess]

I have a little hc that, maybe, some persons wouldn't agree but for me makes sense. And it's that Sanji (at least when he was a kid/pre-teen) don't really liked the idea of having a romantic relantonship?

Let me explain: Sanji grew up on an abusive house, and I feel like with everything he had gone through, he wouldn't like the idea of marriage or things like that. Fearing that things maybe end like his family.

Sure, he is a romantic, but deep down, Sanji could deslike everything related with being married, starting a family and etc.

(Because I grew up on a mentally abusive place, being forced into everything related to my family problems or my parents marriage and this make me HATE the idea of marry someone or have kids)

Okay, okay, okay, hear me out-- You're a genius but also let me modify the thoughts juuust a little tiny bit. Just a tiny bit. Because it's amazing but this made me think about something else:

Sanji likes the idea of romance, sex, and relationships. He's a romantic. He loves everything about it. Or so he thinks. He has this idealized concept of romance that could never be found irl and even if he ever had the chance to partake in it, he wouldn't take it/feel comfortable with it. He tells himself and others that he wants a relationship like that but in reality, he despises it because he doesn't feel worthy of something like that/is afraid of opening up to others that way.

So he's a hopeless romantic but he doesn't... Really want that? In any way? When he was a teenager it was more of a "I'm never getting married haha there are so many beautiful ladies out there how could I ever choose??" (<- is deeply repulsed by the idea of somebody loving him for some reason he doesn't know) and years later he's more of a "I'm never getting married and that's alright" (<- is deeply afraid of commitment because what if he ends up like his dad). This follows the same thing I always say about him wanting to be a dad but being extremely afraid of it.

In my opinion, it could easily be a mix of trauma and being aroaspec. But maybe I am just projecting.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Hi! I’ve sent you two asks already, sorry for bothering you. I just can’t stop thinking about nhthcth, but I was wondering, does Jon get paid? Was he getting paid as a child?

For some reason I got this idea in my head that if Jon didn’t get paid the contract wouldn’t work. Because like, contracts are usually an agreement that one person does one thing and gets another thing in return. Like the Magnus Institute’s contract is like “you work here and never leave and sell your soul to me and I’ll give you maybe more than minimum wage,” so if Jon didn’t get paid, the Institute wouldn’t be holding up their end of the contract, so Jon wouldn’t need to hold up his end and he could leave.

Although I don’t know how that would work when Jon’s a child, he wouldn’t have a bank account, (does he have one as an adult?) I assume it would just go to his legal guardian’s bank account, which I guess would be Elias, but did Elias ever fully adopt Jon? Like legally? Did Elias have to forge adoption papers and stuff or did he just kidnap a child and hoped he’d get away with it. (I suppose he did get away with it) does Jon even have an ID? How did he go to university when he doesn’t have any school history past third grade?

Anyway, sorry I started rambling, you of course don’t have to answer this (nor do you need my permission not to answer, so I’m not sure why I said that) this is just a funny little question I was thinking about. Also, sorry if you’ve answered this already or there’s something in the fic that would answer it and I didn’t notice. Thank you for the amazing story and answering my other asks.

So, you've actually hit the nail on the head on one of the very important rules for nhthcth as a universe, insofar as like, magic systems (for lack of a better word) goes. That being said, a lot of the specifics of this ask is something that I can't answer due to spoilers (like how he went to university, whether elias ever adopted him, whether he has an ID). Those will receive direct explanations in the course of the fic so I can't answer them here.

But as to like, the magic system itself, it's already been seen/addressed in the fic (in a lot of disparate bits and pieces), so I don't have a problem with a more detailed explanation below the cut.

so, most of this system has been in subtext and broken up amongst a lot of little moments in the fic itself. its there but figuring it out takes a lot of patchwork. I don't currently have a more explicit breakdown of the system in the narrative itself because having like, Jon explain it super explicitly feels a bit too much like those internal monologues of an anime fight scene where the characters are having these really in-depth breakdowns of what they're planning and what's happening while they're throwing each other through walls. I just like more subtle storytelling, personally? A lot of the time, it just becomes so painfully obvious that they're talking to the audience and it feels clunky and unnatural. So I scattered the foundation of this amongst a bunch of little moments throughout.

You're absolutely dead on about contracts needing to be "one person gets one thing and the other person gets the other." That is a hard and fast rule in nhthcth, and it has everything to do with what the Web is.

One of my favorite bits about TMA world building is that the fears as so metaphysical. Which makes for a very fun (again, for lack of a better word) magic system. I hate it when magic systems break their own rules or become too powerful and you can just supercharge on the Power Of Friendship to do basically anything if you Believe Enough. Personally, I think characters get to really shine and show their intelligence when you stick them with very narrow and firm rules and make them work inside that system without breaking it. TMA in particular does an amazing job with that.

The Fears are the platonic ideals of their own identities and they legitimately cannot resist what they are. The episode with the Web's theatre production best encapsulated this: The Web said something along the lines of "If only you could see the strings on me."

In that same episode, Jon almost got trapped in the Web domain watching endless plays, because the Eye could not resist what it is, and what it is is something that spectates pain endlessly. The Web couldn't resist trapping Jon in there, because that's what it is, despite the fact that it would have fucked its own endgame if it trapped the Archivist in its fucked up theatre production until the End claimed them all. They're incredibly powerful beings, but they're still, in a way, trapped by their own nature. Humans can change, adapt, be different, but the Entities can't be anything but what they are.

In nhthcth there's a line that i tend to use again and again to encapsulate this, and it's usually something along the lines of "These things only are what they are."

They're not versatile forces. They're not a flexible tool like most magic systems where you can use this abstract and malleable force to cast the Spell of Fire and the Spell of Healing and the Spell of Ketamine Ape. They can only do what their own existence allows them and they cannot resist their own nature. It's one of the reasons why Jon in nhthcth is so insistent that the Eye can't be used as a force for good--good is completely outside of its existence. If you know anything about Greek philosophy, I think Plato's idea of the forms is pretty analogous to what the Entities are and how they work.

Which is also why Jon's like, "Duh, of course it's the Web that's got us bound and not the Eye. That's what the Web does."

The Eye just isn't about binding and trapping. What Jonah can use it to do is completely limited to stuff that falls under the Eye's umbrella. He could have the most powerful connection to the Eye on the planet (he doesn't), but that doesn't mean he can supercharge on Eye God Juice and blast a hole through the wall with the power of his mind, right? That would make the entire magic system in TMA ridiculous. In the same way, he can't use the Eye to enforce contract terms. That's not what the Eye does.

That's the Web, through and through. So when you're considering the contract, you have to think in terms of what the Web is.

The thing about the Fears is that they're shown to be a little multifaceted in that multiple distinct fears fit beneath the same umbrella with them. Take the Eye. The fear of someone knowing your deepest, darkest secrets fits beneath it, right? And that's very much Jonah's area of expertise. He probably fed on Martin's terror about being discovered for forging his CV for years. He neutralized Daisy by finding out the secrets that hurt her and using them against you. He's the invasive, watching part of the eye that may know your secrets and want to use it against you.

but the Eye is also the fear of someone watching your pain, your suffering, and (for lack of a better term) getting off on it. Enjoying it. It's bleeding out in the street and, when help finally arrives, they just sit down next to you and watch eagerly as you die.

That is so much the Archivists role.

Sometimes, I think of how terrifying the Archivist would be if it wasn't Jon in the role. Don't get me wrong--he has his moments of terrifying power, and he definitely didn't get good reviews on yelp from statement givers. But, fundamentally, he does care.

But imagine you go to the Magnus Institute under the assumption that they may help. You sit there and you tell them the worst fucking thing that ever happened to you. It's like you're experiencing it a second time, in all the horrific detail. You're retraumatized all over again, and then the Statement ends and you're sitting there, tape recorder still running, and you realize the person you went to for help just... enjoyed every second of pain you went through. There's one episode in particular that I think pulled this feeling off so well--the one where the guy in Scotland who found Gertrude's circle opened with something along the lines of "I don't care about any of this. I just want to know if you'll save my son." Like, imagine the horrible, crushing horror of going to someone for help and the moment you realize that were never going to do anything. They just wanted to watch you die too.

It's also one of the reasons that I think that Jon, for all he thrived as the Archivist, kept so much of who he was because of the inaction part specifically. In Season 1, he makes these vague mentions to fights he's getting into with Elias. Elias keeps lecturing him about noninterference, how they're here to research and not interfere, and Jon has these moments were he's like "anyway I don't give a fuck there's fucking leitners out there and if i have my way there will be a hell of a lot less of them." He legitimately says at one point that he's going to get another lecture about Institute mission statements and watching without interference.

Jon made so many bad choices when he was Becoming, but the one he consistently made against Becoming was that, almost against his will, he wanted to save people. That's picking the opposite of what the Eye is, and I think that that's the part of him that he got to keep.

that was more of an aside and not so relevant to the question. i got on a tangent. but it's here now so it stays. i already typed it. Anywho.

Jonah can't do what Jon does. He can't compel answers out of people. He's a panopticon, and the fear he embodies is that someone may be watching you and catch you in the act. It's not the fear of someone forcing the information out of you. But Jon can't do with Jonah does either. He can't just hop through eyes and spy on people. That's not his relationship with the Eye or the part of it he embodies.

They both have a very metaphysical limitation to their own experience with the Eye, because the idea of the Eye itself is just a human classification. Maybe Jon's sky blue and Jonah's dark blue and the Eye's all the blues, but at the end of the day, we just made up the idea of "blue" to explain our own experience with colors. They don't get to wield the full spectrum of "colors" available under the Eye. They can both be attached to the Eye but they're completely limited to what it means to be sky blue versus dark blue.

So it's important to remember that when you consider the contract, because it's just an aspect of the Web. It's not every aspect of the Web.

The Web is the fear of being totally under control of another--think raymond fielding in Hill Top Road, Mr. Spider, forcing people to walk, that kind of thing--but it's not just that. It's also the fear of being manipulated. Of being outmaneuvered. And I think that fits much more metaphysically with what a contract is than being under total and absolute control.

A contract is just an agreement of rules that two parties have to abide by, right? And sometimes the contract is way more favorable to one party than the other, but we also recognize that there's limits to that. You named a very big one--"this for that." For contracts to be enforceable, there has to be this thing we call "consideration." I get this, you get that. If the contract read "I have to give you one million dollars and you don't have to do anything" that'd be a gratuitous promise and it wouldn't be an enforceable contract.

That being said, consideration doesn't have to be balanced. The contract doesn't have to be fair. I don't know a super huge amount of British law (though a lot of American law is derived from it) but in american contract law we have a standard that basically says there has to be a "mere peppercorn" of consideration. We're not going to see if the exchange is fair, just if there is an exchange. there's this huge body of law around what's allowed in contracts and how contracts should be interpreted because we recognize that, at a certain point, something isn't a contract anymore. It breaks the rules of exchange.

And I think that very much goes towards the real fear the Web would be working with when it comes to the contracts. Think of like, law dramas. People like law dramas because the characters show off how clever they are. They're working in some system of rules and then at the eleventh hour they pull out some kind of loophole or interpretation that saves the day, right? The fact that there are limits and rules to what the characters can do is exactly what makes it so exciting when they figure out how to flip them in their favor. You need to have the chance to succeed in the system, however small, or it all just kind of becomes meaningless. There's no point in manipulation or machinations if you instantly lose no matter what.

That's the exact fear the Web would be playing on with the contracts, in my mind. It's being at the mercy of someone who has to follow the same rules as you, but they're grossly skewed in the other person's favor and the other person is better at using them. It's being stuck in a game where both players have to follow the rules but you have no idea what the rules are, and the other player gets to know them and have them severely favor them.

But the entire fear just becomes kind of ridiculous if it's not limited. It kind of becomes like a game of make believe between little kids if you can just write something in the contract without limitation. Like saying "well, my power is at one million percent" "my power is at one BILLION percent" "my power is at FIVE TRILLION percent." Right? Like, if you're playing that game, the rules don't really mean anything. It's all just bullshit. It doesn't invoke the fear of someone manipulating the rules against you. If the contract terms don't enforce obligations against Jonah too, it just sort of leaves the realm of what fear this is, which breaks the rules of the magic system. Being totally at someone's mercy is just a different fear than having someone outmaneuvering you at rules you both are stuck with.

Which means that, for the contract to be what it is, Jonah has to be bound by it in some way. It has to follow some kind of rules that bind him too. It can be very unbalanced and favor him greatly, but it still needs to set some kind of obligation and limit on him or the entire thing becomes ridiculous.

That's why Jonah so aggressively tries to keep Jon from trying to learn the terms of the contract. If Jon knew the way Jonah was bound by the contract, he'd be able to use the rules against him. Jon's playing the same game as Jonah, but he never got to see the rulebook.

We know two ways from canon that you can use to escape the contract: (1) gouge out your own eyes and (2) the archivist dies and the assistants can leave. but we never see the terms of the contract itself, and the fact that option #2 popped up in season 5 when all we knew before that was option #1 means that maybe there are more ways to break the contract and maybe there aren't. Maybe it's just options 1 and 2, or maybe there's other ways to escape we never figured out. Why do options 1 & 2 work? Is it explicitly written out somewhere in the binding instrument? Is it some loophole that not even elias expected? All we know for certain is that ways out of the contract include but may not be limited to options 1 and 2.

So, yes, Jon gets paid. But is that a term of the contract? Was that the consideration that Jonah wrote down in the Web's binding contract, or is there something else? Jon doesn't know, so he can't use it against him.

Maybe Jonah does have to pay Jon under the contract. Or he's only paying Jon to keep up appearances. Like, yeah, maybe the metaphysically binding contract would allow him to chain people here without paying them, but payroll would still have massive questions about why the Institute Head's angry adoptive son has been the Institute's unpaid slave worker for the past decade.

One of Jonah's biggest strategies to keep Jon from escaping is to abide very strictly by what may or may not be the terms of the Web's contract. Jon can't deduce what the rules are if Jonah voluntarily plays by more rules than he has to.

Take Elias's promise to Tim, for example. Jon still doesn't even know how the Web contract is formed. It sure as hell isn't simply the contract that most employees see--there's no clause that says "and by the way you can never ever quit or leave or you will die xoxoxoxo." Are all the terms already written down somewhere he can't find? Could oral promises be binding? He has no idea, because Elias is never going to act in a way that lets him eliminate the possibility. He'll follow the letter of his promise, and maybe that's because he has to or he'll breach the contract, or maybe that's because he's choosing to keep his promise when he doesn't have to. Elias keeps the terms of the contract unclear by following more rules than he has to.

It's one of the reasons why he uses so much doublespeak. Elias says something like "I'll keep my word, and you'll have to do the same." That only tells us things we already knew--Tim would have to be bound by the contract and wouldn't be able to leave. He'll keep his word, but does Elias have to under the contract? If he broke his word, Jon would be able to conclusively tell that oral conditions are non-binding. He'd know that there's some kind of outside binding instrument that has the rules already set out, and Elias can't change them with an oral promise. But if Elias toes the letter of the oral condition no matter what, then it could be because he has to or it could be because he chose to.

There are rules that Elias has to abide by, but Jon is only pretty certain of a few: 1) He has to have Jon's signature before he moves people into his department. He can't give him assistants unless Jon signs off on it first. Jon only got that much because Elias tried so damn hard to get his signature for the transfer. If Elias could break that rule, there's a pretty good chance that he would have, but he didn't so it probably means he can't. It's a place the contract almost definitely binds him too. 2) the contract kills you if you spend too long away from the Institute, but Elias has a way of letting you stay away for longer. If Jon leaves without approval, then he gets sick within a few weeks. But he's made it months away from the Institute just because Elias approved the leave.

So is that because Elias is the one who triggers the contract killing you in the first place? Or does he have a way of stopping a power that will automatically go off.

If the contract reads, "In the case of unapproved absences, the Head of the Institute may file Form B45, the 'Kill My Errant Employees' Form, and the employee will suffer a heart attack within a period not to exceed fourteen (14) days," then they'd be able to pretty effectively escape just by finding a way to immobilize Elias permanently--chuck him in the Buried, he'll never die but he also won't be able to file a Kill My Errant Employee Form. But if the contract reads "In the case of unapproved absences, the employee will suffer a heart attack within a period not to exceed fourteen (14) days unless the Head of The Institute files Form U95, Approved Leave of Absences," then they need him alive and mobile to file a leave of absence form so Jon won't fucking die the next time he's kidnapped for a month. Or maybe a leave of absence form isn't necessary if Jon's only kept away because of a kidnapping. Maybe the contract reads "In the case of unapproved and voluntary absences" and being involuntarily missing isn't a breach at all. They don't know, because Elias is going to file the fucking leave of absence form whether or not he has to.

If they knew the exact rules and minute details of the contract terms, they could wriggle their way into an exception that makes their conditions more livable. Instead, they're just stuck with a very broad correlation between Elias's action and/or inaction and the contract not killing you when you leave for long periods on approved absences. Maybe they could just chuck him in the Buried and fuck off, but fuck if they know, and that's the sort of risk you really can't take unless you're certain.

A lot of Jon testing boundaries with Elias has been trying to figure out the boundaries of the contract. Remember in the martyrs chapter, where Martin is like "jon why do you have an employee email you're like sixteen???" it's because jon was already an employee, and employees are required to have an official email. He knew it and Elias knew it even if no one else did.

If Elias refused him an official institute email, Jon would know that the contract does not require him to provide all employees with Institute-standard resources as outlined in the employee manual. Maybe sections of the employee manual isn't binding, maybe the entire thing isn't binding. Jon knows breaking the Institute dress code probably isn't a part of the binding contract because of his Epic Fashion Moments (or, if it is, the penalty isn't death like leaving is), but does that apply to all parts of the employee manual? If he doesn't get an official email at the shiny age of sixteen when he's Not Supposed To Be Employed, then he knows another section of the employee manual just doesn't have teeth. But if Elias just gives him what any employee would be entitled to, then it could be because he had to or it could be because he chose to.

It's also the reason why getting people to quit was important to jon--yes, he was trying to get people free of the Institute, but if he pushed someone into quitting, he'd be able to test out some very valuable information about the contract. Can people quit if Elias allows it? Maybe the rule is that the Archives can't quit, but everyone else can if Elias allows it. Maybe everyone can quit if Elias lets them. Maybe no one can quit and they're all fucked. If Elias can let some people quit but never lets them quit, then Jon has no data points to work with when trying to figure out how people escape the contract.

Which is also why elias flipped his shit and burned the HR records the one time Jon managed to get his hands on them. Over the years, there have been people who unknowingly stumbled into one of the rules binding Elias, and he let them quit without protest. There's a very good chance that that's because he had to let them quit. If Jon could find the common denominator between people who quit successfully, then maybe he could figure out how to do the same, which is why Elias has spent so long making sure he gets as little information as possible to work with. Jon can't win the game if he never learns the rules.

It is important to note that Elias breaking the terms of the contract that bind him may not be "and now Jon can finally go home oh my fucking god." The penalties for breach of contract, that we know of, are death. Does Elias face the same penalties if he breaches? Does he face some kind of other penalty? We don't know yet, because Elias is guarding those terms like his fucking life depends on it.