#sorry if this is preachy

[cemeterything]

i think the most important thing i've learned from years of working to recover from trauma and break the cycles of abuse i was both a victim and perpetrator of is that i can't change that i was hurt or that i hurt other people in the past, but i can use that to empower myself to learn from those experiences in order to do better in the present and future. obviously it would have been better if none of it had ever happened, but instead of hand-wringing over what-ifs and if-onlys, i accept that it's done and can't be changed, but i still can. i don't have to let myself be defined by my regrets.

[murmurlilies]

amidst the flood of excited screaming over the sudden tonal shift in episode 11 of Dungeon Meshi, I have seen a few anime-only viewers who are a bit... put off by it?? some feeling that they were lied to, or accusing the story of abandoning its premise and feel-good vibes.

all I can say to those people without spoiling things is this: TRUST THE PROCESS. this tonal shift didn't come out of nowhere, and it wasn't put in merely for shock value. Dungeon Meshi is a carefully crafted work with themes that carry from its opening moments all the way through to its conclusion. as the story unfolds, those themes are expanded upon and explored in truly remarkable and unexpected ways. it is, when viewed in its entirety, one of the most cohesive and beautifully told narratives in the anime/manga space.

as for those feel-good vibes?? they never truly leave, in fact imho they only grow stronger as the story progresses in spite of its increasingly dark moments. and there WILL be dark moments. man oh man, y'all have seen NOTHING yet. but again: TRUST THE PROCESS. believe in these characters, in their tenacity, in their love for each other. no matter how dire things get, believe that there will always be a warm campfire and a delicious meal waiting for them at the end.

[stil-lindigo]

the candle.

a comic about rediscovering passion and recovering from burnout.

creative notes:

[kobitoshiningneedle]

I think the tumblr Ace Attorney fandom has a weird stance on Dahlia Hawthorne. Even more so, on her culpability, to the point that some people claim that she was justified in killing Terry Fawles and even Valerie

First of all, we need to consider the main message of the games first and our personal sense of justice second, because Dahlia, as much as any other AA character, operates within the games' own narrative, and has consequences according to it. And Ace Attorney makes it quite clear that any human life is valuable and no one has a right to take it (illegally). This message was accentuated in TGAA mostly, but even in the trilogy we have Edgeworth who says "everyone deserves a fair trial"

And (I think I need to say before someone throws tomatoes at me) I'm not here to defend Terry Fawles and say that he didn't do anything wrong. He pretty much did, and the fact that he started to date his young pupil is pretty horrible and brow-raising, even if it's unclear who initiated it. It's also possible that Valerie was a neglectful sister, and that Dahlia's whole family was abusive and insufferable to her. The most important thing to understand here is that even if Terry and Valerie were all-round terrible people, killing Valerie and manipulating Fawles made Dahlia a criminal. Objectively.

The second point I see people miss is how disastrous was the collateral damage Dahlia caused in her attempts to cover herself. Poisoning Diego. Killing Doug. Attempting to kill Phoenix. Attempting to kill Maya. And the question is: in what way did any of these people do Dahlia injustice? What is their fault?

They didn't have any. By the time of T&T timeline she was pretty much a person poisoned by her hatred and fear. The main tragedy of her character is that she spiraled down from a mistreated schoolgirl who wanted to run away to a malicious woman who would stoop to crime whenever she needs to. I think this is a solid example of an anti-arc, in which Dahlia's fate was indeed shaped by her unfortunate circumstances in many ways, but! She still had agency in her actions, and having agency means having responsibility

To clarify: I don't hate hate Dahlia, even though my disagreement with the fandom lies in the amount of her hateability. I think she's fascinating and is a good foil to Mia. She pretty much IS a tragic character, and we actually have a good insight into her via Iris' recollections before the final trial segment - the person who probably understood Dahlia the most. Realizing that Dahlia was yet another victim of Fey family drama, much like our Maya (even if in other ways) adds some sympathy points to her. But I have a firm opinion that she wasn't exactly redeemable at the end of her criminal path

So, do I think Dahlia's character goes beyond the crazy-psycho femme fatale? Yes, even if the game wasn't really forthcoming about her childhood misfortunes as much as we would want to. Do I think Dahlia deserved condemnation in the end of BTTT? Yes, and I personally didn't expect Phoenix or Mia to pat her head after being responsible for the deaths of 4 people and (the other important part that adds to her hateability) feeling absolutely no remorse towards people that had nothing to do with her tragedy. Having complexity doesn't necessarily mean Dahlia is secretly better as a person, and understanding why a character became the way they are doesn't mean we should sympathize with or forgive them

[yeagrave]

If there are any ideas here which spark an interest in a sketch I'll take it:

Jake wearing the Roosters top at the gym

Rooster without his moustache and the entire Dagger squadron freaking out

Jake meeting Admiral Kazansky and realising he's Bradley's father

Bradley using those legs and hips to dance...

Have fun with the drawing and never stop - one of my biggest regrets as an older person now is that I let my art skills languish away and I look back and compare to what I do now and yeah... sadness.

a little jakey for you!<33

I'm sorry you feel like that about your art :( Art is a hard skill to keep up with sometimes, but I believe it's re-learnable no matter what! I hope you can find happiness in it if you wish to do so :)

[butchysterics]

kind of annoying that ppl are still so heavily promoting the ~daily clicks~ for palestine, which means ostensibly tens or hundreds of thousands of ppl have been participating in that campaign daily…….. and the only documentation i’ve seen is ppl proudly announcing it raised a grand total of like $300 dollars of ad revenue over 3 months? numbers like that coming out should be discrediting not encouraging tbh. i don’t want to diminish the ‘little things’ and i guess everyone needs hope to keep going with other activism but that is such an insultingly infinitesimally small number when escaping gaza costs $10k+ a person and millions of dollars are being crowdfunded elsewhere. i just…. genuinely don’t think US americans should feel good patting themselves on the back for doing nothing

[carlyraejepsans]

what is this intrafandom horrible taste you speak of. please, i must know the gossip

a certain videoludic transformative work of chromatic inclinations really gets on my nerves.

[area51-narutorun]

There is no point in trying to "educate" your favourite celebrities and authors about Palestine. There is decades worth of information about the genocide commited against Palestinians and if someone is advocating for some "peace on both sides" bullshit it's not because they're uneducated. It's because vocally supporting Palestine is getting people fired from their jobs, blacklisted, destroying their careers. If someone comes out with a wishy-washy "my heart breaks for the violence on both sides 🥺" stance, they have cynically chosen to prioritise their career over human lives. At that point, there is no point trying to educate someone because you want them to be a good person. Your focus shouldn't be on your favourite celebrity's personal moral journey. It should be on supporting and freeing the people of Palestine.

[nerves-nebula]

Do you support victims of incest or do you think someone with an incest kink has to disclose wether they’ve been personally traumatized by one of the most stigmatized forms of abuse in order for to you to determine if you’re going to harass them or not. Do you actually care about real victims realities or do you just like feeling good about hating the nebulous idea of an abuser. Answer quickly.

[ageofhearingloss]

sorry yall, you know i love all of you so fucking much, but please let this day be a celebration for josh! i know some members of josh lane must be feeling some type of way but this is far beyond us!!!!! we need to be happy for him, and support him NO. MATTER. WHAT. no matter what all of our delulu brains are telling us, it's not about that. this is about HIM, and we need to respect that and not make it about us! WE NEED TO CELEBRATE HIM AND PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS! he was incredibly vulnerable with us today, and we need to be respectful of that! it's not about us, but it is about our love for WHO HE IS and what he continues to do for us and his community! this is beyond the fics we write, beyond the scenarios we create in our heads. this is real, and we need to value that! we all came to this space to share our love for these men and this band, and that is more relevant now than ever. WHERE THERE IS LOVE WE WILL LIVE ON AND WHERE THERE IS NOT LOVE WE MUST PROVIDE IT, YEAH???? he's going to get an insane amount of backlash and as the peaceful army, we need to stand up and fight back. whether you're an ally or part of this community, this is an opportunity for us to show our unwavering love and support!

i'm obvi just talking about josh rn but i think it's a great reminder that being a member of the peaceful army means that we will fight, support, and love every kind of person on the planet and if you cannot live up to that expectation, then you need to check yourself and your priorities

[ot3]

omg thank you for being the first normal person I've seen so far about AI who's also an artist T-T like obviously all the stealing is horrible and it's good it's talked about but almost everyone really is acting like the idea of computers being capable of creating images killed their firstborn child

(also I don't mean it as one of the weird AI art bros but as an artist myself I'm just glad that there are other artist with open mind to the concept)

no right like its insane to me to see how many other people who seem reasonable and level headed are falling for the kneejerk response to say ai Isn't Art Can't Be Art ! It's throwing out the baby with the bathwater to an almost incomprehensible degree.

Unfortunately the fact of the matter is that we live in an era where essentially all new technology's first and prime purpose will be for ghoulish, capitalistic, anti-human ends. But to reject any other uses for the technology doesn't do anything other than make you look like an anti-tech weirdo. This is genuinely insanely impressive and revolutionary tech! There are a TON of legitimate artistic uses for AI image generation.

It also seems weird that everyone is delving into this false binary of 'dont use AI, learn to draw' as if there is any conceivable reason for these things to be mutually exclusive? Like, before all of the AI discourse really popped off i was doing some experimenting with using AI in my process.

the texturing used in this drawing was made by VQGAN + Clip (different type of image generation than the stable diffusion model that is producing most of the AI art that's up for debate right now) running through google colab. I made a bunch of these weird, ethereal images that would have been almost impossible for me to produce under my own power - it would have taken a titanic amount of time, effort, and design to produce any of these through illustrative or photo editing techniques.

here's a sampling of some of the textures i made. Now I think it would be a real struggle to try and claim that these images made are plagiarisms. However, I stopped messing with the google colab generation for one key reason: i didnt know enough about the image databases being used to train these models. That's the real stumbling block

the internet is CHOCK FULL of images that are free to use commercially and repurposes, there's stuff like wikimedia commons, the smithsonian open access, unsplash and pexels which have free stock photos, etc. I honestly think a nonzero amount of artists would consent to having some of their work used in image generation databases if they were promised noncommercial use of the resulting images, also. But the problem is the people training these AI don't give a shit about any of that. It's just the complete entitlement to other people's work and neglect for creative boundaries that makes AI generation bad.

The fact that people are attempting to replicate the art of living, working artists, or people like kentaro miura who by all accounts were so dedicated to the craft that they worked themselves to death sickens me. And the fact that the companies responsible for this are using that as an active selling point for their product is even worse. It's a pretty miserable time to be an artist, and this is just the icing on the cake.

But I don't want silicon valley greed and bizarre, impotent jealousy from redditors who want custom waifu jpgs to mean that nobody who could really benefit from AI image generation gets to use it.

like, my dad for example. he's been a creative person his whole life but it never really went anywhere. He drew a lot as a kid and then went and got a degree in filmmaking. My parents were living in LA when I was born, with my dad managing a filming/sound studio and the two of them trying to break into writing screenplays. This did not happen because they had three kids, and for the past decade and then some my dad had been doing database programming on contract for the CDC. Now, in his mid 50s, he's finally got a permanent and secure position and, rather than spending all his free time raising children or getting PMP certified to try and angle for a string of promotions, he can start having hobbies again. there's a comic he's been wanting to draw for as long as I can remember.

only, one big problem - in 2021 he had surgery on his cataracts and never healed properly. He's got severely impaired vision and looking at stuff too hard for to long causes him a ton of eye strain and pain. He has to look at a lot of screens for his job so by the time he's off work for the day he's pretty much too fatigued to do all the intense visual stuff it'd take to make a comic.

I wanted to tell him AI image generation could help him make the kind of stuff he always dreamed about making as a kid but instead I had to tell him that as it stands, the predatory nature of AI modeling means it's insanely hard to use it without ripping off vulnerable creatives. Instead we chatted a bit about combining 3d assets, digitally edited photos, or photobashing/digital kitbashing methods to try and make a pipeline he could do without drawing, but the time commitment to learn these methods is probably just not feasible unless his eyes make a pretty unprecedented recovery in future years.

Like, that's the worst thing about all of this. The idea that AI makes the production of certain kinds of art more accessible to people with disabilities isn't just a 'gotcha' being used by the pro-AI people, it's also true. I would love for my dad to be able to make his comic. I myself also have a huge string of health issues and sometimes the main thing stopping me from drawing is that it hurts to do so. Anything in my process that could reduce the strain drawing puts on my body is an accessibility concern in some ways. Eventually degrading so much that I can't draw at all is one of my biggest fears.

But that doesn't counter all of the negatives! It just doesnt! Which fucking sucks man it just sucks so fucking bad that we have this cool incredible thing and we can't use it without being complicit in some stuff i am fully ideologically against! As things stand I really cant imagine that 'ethical' AI image generation will ever exist, so unfortunately it will have to be in the hands of the people using it to decide for themselves if they are using it in a way that is predatory or harmful, or as a legitimate tool to make meaningful works of art.

[futuretrain]

the jokes and memes are very funny admittedly but i have honestly very little patience for people who don't use twitter on here and elsewhere going "well what's the big deal it's just another dumb social media platform going down we're not losing anything essential". we are. we are losing something, if not essential, then at least very, very close to it.

because twitter isn't just "that place where all the dumb discourse happens". it's a place where state agencies share vital information that saves people's lives. it's a place that gets news from breaking stories pretty much as soon as they're happening, often from many points of view simultaneously, often before *anywhere else*. it's a place that has organized, directed, and popularized social movements and protests.

we don't really have an alternative to a platform like that right now, and it will be a while before another emerges with a big enough reach to make it feasible to use it in a similar way. in the meantime, twitter has become a public tool that many people and organizations have relied on for years. right now, it's hosting evidence of war crimes and crimes against humanity in multiple regions of the world - do you see tumblr or another website right now taking up that role?

so yes, while we're all laughing (and it is genuinely funny, even as a twt user who has relied on it to organize and share information about protests), don't minimize just how big of deal it is that a platform like twitter is probably going to be dead soon.

[wildflowercryptid]

something that's been weighing on my mind ever since learning about the situation with ezra / toonimal is seeing how these predators will take the active hostility that is frequently directed towards minors in online spaces to their advantage and use it to prey on vulnerable children. i think that we as adults in online fandom should probably come together and maybe rethink the language / manner we go about interacting with kids bc clearly the way things are rn is causing active harm.

like obviously, if you're an adult and aren't comfortable with minors interacting with you or your content, you should be allowed to set that boundary and should be vocal about it, ( especially if the content you create isn't safe for them to consume. ) but i don't think talking to them like they're a blight on all that is good and holy is the way to go about it. maybe just saying you're an 18 plus account will suffice, you don't have to tell them to fuck off.

[bylertruther]

no cause the last anón is so right. I scrapped a 50k byler fic because I actually got worried people might call me weird or a freak like they do others. I was on twitter when the whole fiasco went down and it pissed me off but if you even tried to speak there were so many accounts saying you were “speaking over minors” and calling you a predator/pedophile. So many of my moots deactivated bc of the hate- they eventually started attacking people for their ages alone saying it was weird that 20 year olds theorized and talked about byler. Literally word for word “you’re a freak if you’re 20 and read byler fics. Why are you fantasizing about two little 14 year old boys making out” if they would take a step back and think that maybe people are so interested in this relationship is bc they see their younger selves in these two characters then maybe they wouldn’t say such stupid shit. Anyway sorry for ranting I just have been fuming since that whole thing happened. I just wish they would take a step back and stop and think about why they see a kiss between two boys written and immediately shout creep.

oh no, anon! i'm so sorry to hear about your fic & your experience. i hope you feel comfortable enough to post it one day, if you still want to. 🥺 and don't ever apologize for expressing yourself!

not to be a cunt, but i am a cunt, so, ahem. from the bottom of my heart... fuck them kids. 🫶 i literally do not give a single shit about any of the ""discourse"" they inflict on us all. "speaking over minors" why are you even speaking to begin with, huh? 🤨 why are you buzzing into an adult's space and picking a fight when a) literally no one fucking asked you to, and b) you're just going to cry "waaaaah but i'm a minorrr :(" as if you're somehow the victim in this situation after they dare to defend themselves against your serious and unsupported allegations? be normal or piss the fuck off and do your homework.

and why do people take them seriously? disregarding the fact that anyone of any age can be a shipper & the awful homophobia laced in such rhetoric...

this is the internet. no one owes you shit & the wild web will never, ever cater to you. you need to curate your own space and protect yourself. this is, like.. basic shit. like, bare-fucking-bones basic shit. it's not anyone else's responsibility but your own. they taught me that in school, my parents told me that, and also i have a functioning brain that can come to that conclusion, too. people need to stop pretending like what these people are asking for—which is your silence and your shame—is reasonable. it's not. content gets tagged, there are multiple extensions to blacklist any tags you don't like, some of it gets put behind a privacy wall, block buttons exist, many websites have filtering options, and so on and so forth. there are multiple measures people can take to both find things and avoid them. and a lot of the time, content is something you have to seek out yourself. so, if you don't like it, why did you click on it? why spend any time on it when you could've just backspaced? how is your ineptitude anyone else's problem?

also, people need to stop throwing the words pedophilia, pedophile, and predator around. you're being an insensitive jackass when you do that. someone writing about two fictional characters is not abusive scum of the fucking earth. you're watering those acts down and showcasing your ignorance for the world to see when you throw their names around carelessly. a child predator does awful, sinister, repulsive things to real life people who did not deserve that. someone writing a first kiss or practice kissing fic is not anywhere near that and i'm tired of people pretending like this is an okay thing to say or even think. just shut the fuck up and stop saying those words if you don't actually understand the gravity of what they mean.

another thing: a lot of these people aren't just kids. grown folk fall for the same shitty rhetoric, too. it's all just groupthink and herd mentality. no one wants to get attacked so they just repeat the same shit without thinking about it beyond "protecting" themselves (which is senseless as well because conditional acceptance is not true acceptance, but i digress). this fandom would be in a much better place if people were willing to stand their ground and defend their friends when this stuff happens. it gets worse and worse if you just turn a blind eye to it and fall in line. we're all waking up and finally seeing the consequences of that now.

of course, this doesn't really apply to when you're getting attacked by hundreds of people. that's... just shitty and hard and demoralizing. i'm not victim-blaming, because no one wants to be on the receiving end of that and i know that you can't control what others do.

my argument is that it gets to that point because the fandom as a whole just lets it slide by never holding the right people accountable for their actions. they allow the needless bullying to happen. they allow the rhetoric to get crazier and crazier. they allow people to get fucking crucified for shit that isn't even remotely inappropriate. they reblog posts they don't believe in because they don't want to be the odd one out and get accused of something by someone with more followers than them. it's just... we, as a whole, need to support each other more and put our foot down when shit like that starts happening.

it isn't normal. it isn't okay. it hasn't ever been okay.

like... i KNOW that you KNOW that it isn't weird for them to kiss, for people to want them to kiss, or for people to make them kiss in their creations. i KNOW that you KNOW that it isn't weird for anyone of any age to enjoy a love story of any kind. we know these things. some of us just pretend like we don't online for whatever fucking reason. and i don't get it! i don't get why they would do that and willingly allow this place to become worse for it. you don't get anything good out of that.

also, a lot of those people are being trolls. they get a kick out of attacking people as a group, because that's the only time they feel brave and the only way they get attention in life. they don't think before they say things, because they don't see you as a human being—you're just pixels on a greasy screen. they use catchy social justice lingo to make what they're saying sound like something you should support, but at the end of the day, they're literally just gussying up the same right-wing shit we've been subjected to for ages. it's regressive rhetoric that's clear to see once you've allowed yourself to see it.

like, i agree with you. i do. you're absolutely, undoubtedly right in what you say, but... i just can't bring myself to argue that, because it's in response to what was a senseless attack to begin with. and we shouldn't need to defend ourselves and our communities against what isn't true.

homophobia, bullying, and trolling are irrational, illogical pursuits and i can't stand the idea of treating them with any ounce of seriousness in this context. to apologize would be to accept their absurdity and validate their accusations—accusations we know in our heart of hearts to be incorrect and baseless. and i won't ever do that! i won't give them that satisfaction and i wish others wouldn't either.

they keep doing this, because they haven't met any opposition yet, because we keep acting like we have any reason at all to feel shame for wanting stories about people like us, about something as basic and universal as love and connection. they don't care about our reasons. they don't care about our defense of ourselves. it's not ever about us. this is their cry for attention, good or bad, at our expense and they need to be starved out already.

like.. this is just unsustainable. it's mind-boggling and i remember kicking and screaming about it months ago in what felt like an empty room. and look at where we are now! we're already at the point where you can't win in any kind of way no matter what you do. you can't age them up, you can't leave them as they are, you can't ship them if you're older than eighteen, you can't write AUs, you can't write canon compliance, you can't write canon divergence, you can't make them kiss, you can't make them anything more than friends but you also can't make them not-friends, etc etc. we've officially been shoved into the "fuck it, we ball" stage, because this is a pissy fandom and you are never going to please everyone so you may as well just do whatever the fuck you want.

i sound soooooooo unbearably preachy in this response lol, but like... literally... all we have is each other! we all love byler and we're all here to have fun and find like-minded people. we can't keep acting like this in-fighting lunacy is reasonable and just a difference of opinion, or like it's based in any kind of sense at all. we know that it's okay to ship byler at any age. we know that it's okay to have fun and enjoy ourselves. these people want to make us feel bad. they want to silence us. why let them and give them that satisfaction? why is what they want more important than us and our happiness? i hate the idea of anyone ever feeling any kind of shame or fear over something as innocent as this. i hate the idea of them winning by getting into any of our heads like that. i just hate it.

now, this last bit is specifically for you, anon, but it goes for everyone else, too: please, please, please, i am holding your hand in both of mine and begging you to not let anyone take away the things that you love and bring you joy or your wonderful creations that you've put so much of yourself into. i promise you that there will always be people who will see you, understand you, and cherish what you have to offer, and they are the ones that matter most (after you of course hehe). we all have to find our people and just go crazy together and block out everything else. that's the only way to get through this without getting burnt out. 💛💙

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

trying to work out blu team lore for my own personal headcanon. my friend suggested that both texas toast and pyropauling can coexist. so what if like.

blu pyro is a nonbinary lesbian. they r equally ambigious in appearance as red pyro, but they're just only interested in women.

red pyro is uh. idk. something in there. idk what but they sure do fuck engie.

-pyroshark anon

The solution to this to me is to just like. Make Pyro bisexual LMAO. There's a really weird idea a lot of u guys perpetrate which is that lesbians can only ever date nonbinary people who also identify as lesbians (and therefore Pyro can ONLY date Pauling if they are a nonbinary lesbian and ONLY a lesbian) but like. Obviously that's not true lmao, lesbians can date whoever they want and this often includes people who do not also identify as lesbians. "Nonbinary lesbian" isn't actually a distinct gender exclusive to lesbians, and lots of nonbinary bisexual people experience gender in a very very very similar way to lots of nonbinary lesbians. Sorry to get all soapboxy LMAO this has kinda just been on my mind lately but like! I don't really do team distinctions, so Pyro tf2 is bisexual (or whatever) and nonbinary and polyamorous, and they can date Pauling, a lesbian woman, and Engie, a whateversexual man, without either of those contradicting the other because "nonbinary" isn't a distinctly defined third gender

[spacenintendogs]

Sorry for the ask. My brain craves HTTYD-based interaction and the shadowban on my sideblog won’t be lifted for at least a month.

I think the first movie is so special in comparison to everything else. Not only because of Hiccup and Toothless, but because of the dragon riders. They all act so different — like Snotlout is sort of like the leader, Astrid gets along with the twins over the idea of getting a scar in training.

They all just seem to be pretending to be something to all fit in with one another (except, maybe, the twins? Maybe?) and I think one of the main reasons they reject Hiccup is not only because he’s a complete clutz (two left feet, that’s why he lost one) but also because he, too, is pretending… just not well enough. (This mostly goes for Astrid and Snotlout and a bit for the twins, arguably the only one nice to Hiccup is Fishlegs but he’s also pretending to hate dragons, so… I guess this also applies to him.) (I suppose the only one who ever never really dropped the act was Snotlout, which would be why he’s suddenly put in the underdog’s position in the group, even if it’s mostly just seen in the TV shows.)

(Plus, it’s the only one I haven’t got on DVD and I only rewatched it today when it was on TV exclusively for that minute long scene of Snotlout taming Hookfang because I couldn’t find a clip of it on YouTube. Really says a lot about me.)

Yeah. I just think the group dynamics in the first movie are very special. It (from dynamics and atmosphere) just feels so different to the rest of the franchise, including the other two films.

hi! sorry for taking so long! i'm not used to being asked for questions abt this kind of stuff!! i'm usually the one doing the asking or i lurk a bit akdjsjdks

but no u have points abt the dynamics between the gang in the first movie. smth i noticed while rewatching it with some friends is in the beginning when snotlout is making fun of hiccup for messing up the raid through his wrecklessness (tee hee), snotlout after he gets shoved down by gobber, gets back up, and laughs, and looks to astrid. she was also smiling at him, as was fishlegs, as he & the twins made fun of & laughed at hiccup. and then they all just. move on & snotlout deflates

this tiny little smile says SOOOOOO much <3

smth tho i noticed u said is that snotlout is kind of the leader, however the film has astrid be at the center & front of the gang or them all looking to her or making sure she is the one they listen to bc she is the leader of the gang. she's THE ideal model viking bc she has to be. snotlout is the most vocal & the second best by far in training, & similar to how he is in the shows & other films he's pushing himself towards the front when he can to get the attention of others & be taken seriously or to be seen as another model viking (like impressing astrid)

there's an intimacy abt astrid & the gang in the first movie that just hasn't fully shown in the other two films or even the shows with tiny details of them fiddling in the background or even the foreground of a scene when someone else is talking & u see them interact. the great hall when tuffnut is playing with his knife before saying "wait? you mean READ?" astrid is amused by him playing with the knife.

but what you said abt them all pretending: they are. fishlegs is still seen as weird but he's friends & in with the gang. he loves dragon knowledge & knowing abt them, but it's for the art of the kill instead of simply knowing them as creatures. the twins love destruction but with all the talk of being on a team & working together with other vikings they bicker more with each other & end up not getting as far bc they get focused on their own shenanigans. snotlout is trying to show astrid he's the model viking & be a flirty teenage boy at the same time lmao. astrid is the one who changes first when everyone saw her as the most steadfast in her ways. The Viking Way™️.

snotlout in the shows becoming the "underdog" is bc he's not astrid, who learned & changed herself but now is such a tryhard she applies herself to the fullest extent in the opposite direction (i love her). fishlegs can actually enjoy dragons & learn abt them without having to fight them (he's the most skittish of the gang), the twins now have direct ways to blow things up & do their shenanigans (after also having learned to work in a team!!!) without worry of there being a war against the dragons (now just other ppl but ppl can't breathe fire... right? lmao). hiccup is the newest edition of the group, the circle, & now he's just?? the leader. they look to him now after snotlout did everything to get astrid & others attention. astrid is by hiccup's side 100% now & bites back at snotlout when she didn't before. snotlout has changed & loves hookfang, he loves dragons, but he doesn't want to change the Viking Way™️ he's known & tries to force the Old Ways™️ and New Ways™️ together in a way that moreso clashes. he wants to still be at the top but forces instead of working to his advantage. his jealousy of hiccup grows to a point where he's basically self destructing in acting out & causes (unintentional) harm to others but then brushes off the consequences of his actions. & then he learns. he's slower to the take, similar to the adults, but he's also got it more quickly than they ever could. he just hasn't stopped pretending like the other kids.

smth i love abt the first film is the explanation as to why the gang all have american/canadian accents (bc of jay baruchel lmao) vs the scottish accents of the adults. to show the generational difference. they are different from the adults & a very clear distinction is made by the accents of their voices. you can almost say hiccup having the most jarring of everyone's voice (so nasally & distinct) ties in with hiccup being the leader. he commands attention but not in the way that's expected. even "the more viking-like teens" (as gobber refers to them) have distinct voices & even if they're acting how the village expects.

it's not rlly them, is it? not fully at least.

guess sometimes you need a little guidance, & it can come from the most unexpected places. maybe someone who's been in a leader position can give you a little extra push

& even if you're afraid & don't adjust to the change 100%, you can start coming out of your shell & stop pretending. some stop pretending easier than others, & some ppl are stuck in a lot of their ways. but they still feel they can relax abt smth & stop pretending abt that.

it makes everyone happier, right? :)