#sorry my 2019 is slipping out

[waterghostype]

i think about how nya was looking at jay when he was talking to baby wu often

[kayschariot]

✨innocence✨

2019 quackity X reader

-

“Can we try something?”

smut warning

Alex had invited you over to his house for the first time as you two had just started dating. He was giddy as he waited for you. His mom told him you where at the door and a wave of nervousness hit him. he let you in and introduced you to a few people in the household.

After that you to went upstairs. “Sorry if the beds uncomfortable or anything.” He somewhat mumbled under his breath, “It’s okay, I don’t care.” You smiled kissing his cheek. He felt like he absolutely lost it when you did that. He was a blushing mess as he sat on the bed with you turning on some TV.

you two slowly but surely started getting more comfortable and started cuddling, at this point anything playing on the TV was ignored.

As you draped a leg over Alex and he held your waist you couldn’t help yourself from feeling more aroused and he did to. He looked at you leaning in.

“Can i kiss you?” He asked and you nodded somewhat eagerly as you pressed your lips on his cupping his face as he placed a hand on your thigh.

“Your lips are soft.” He whispered through the kiss, you giggled softly to yourself. “You taste nice” You’d admit, and he’d kiss you more.

it quickly led to a make out session. Heavy breathing, hand placement and small grinding motions on each other. “C-Can we try something?” He asked panting. You’d nod and he’d unbuckle your belt and slide it off along with your jeans. He would slide your panties off slowly and look at your went pussy.

“Jesus christ..” He mumbled before rubbing your clit making you whimper in pleasure. “C-Can I…let me just..” He spoke sticking a finger inside of you making you moan softly.

“Don’t get to loud my parents are down stairs and this bed is..creaking,” he spoke softly and turned up the TV. He stuck two fingers inside of you and moved vastly.

you held back moans, “Is this right? do you like it?” He asked, his erection forming in his pants. “Yes! Yes your doing so good..!” you whimpered arching your back and grinding on his fingers.

You had to put a pillow over your mouth to cover the moaning noises. He leaned down and slowly starting eating you out along with fingering you.

with each stroke of his tongue you felt like you were going absolutely dumb. “A-Alex!” I moaned leaning my head back and placing a hand on his head gripping his hair.

you felt yourself getting closer to a climax, your legs shaking and gripping onto his head and the pillow as a attempt to be quiet but the bed was shaking like crazy.

As you finished it felt like heaven, “Mmm..Alexxx~~!! Jesus- your so good with your tongue..~” I spoke and he giggled softly before continuing to eat me out.

he took his fingers out of my as my body relaxed, “Could you maybe help me out?” He mumbled pointing to his boner, You’d nod.

“One more thing,” He spoke “Do it with your shirt off please..it’s so much hotter,” He’d admit as your took your bra and shirt off.

“Jesus fuck..” he’d stare “Can I?”

you nod and he’d cup on and squeeze your nipple making a soft moan leave your mouth. Your moans and whimpers were like heaven to him, they were like addiction.

He’d take his shirt off and slip his boxers and jeans down. “I’ve never really done this before..” you’d admit watching pre come leak from his hard cock as he used it as a type of lube.

“Yeah that was my first time doing anything with a women..uh..just..here.” He’d grab your hand and position you as he let out a sigh of relief. “Up and down.” He’d say as you started stroking him.

“Like this?” You’d as curiously, he’d lean his head back on the wall and moan, “Yes..ohmygod..faster..”

“Your doing so good..” he’d say, “God damn, faster..” He’d whimper.

you would go faster and watch as he bucked his hips into your hand, “Rub your thumb over my tip.” He’d moan as you follow his order “Good girl just like that.”

“Am I doing good?” You’d ask. “So good..god it feels better when you do it” He spoke. He’d cover his mouth and lean his head back as he finished. His come covering your hand. he was panting and catching his breath, “I need you to suck my dick..i need you to,” He whispered and you’d nod getting on your knees. You’d put his tip in your mouth, you’ve never done this before.

soft moans left his mouth, you’d lick on his tip somewhat scared you had to shove all that down your throat. “sorry.” He’d say and you where confused until he grabbed you by the hair and pushed you head down, a loud moan escaped his lips and he’d roll his eyes back. He’d grip your hair helping you.

tears dripped down your face as you’d whimper on his cock. “God damn you look so hot crying over my cock.” He’d say face fucking you.

You’ve never seen this side of Alex before and you weren’t gunna lie it was making you turned on all over again. He once again finished and you hummed on his cock to help, “Swallow it, all of it..” He demanded and you did.

-

he’d help you clean up and clean himself up as well, you too would cuddle all night until you fell asleep on him.

in the morning his mom probably made fun of him cause she definitely heard you two.

-

REQUESTS OPEN

[themultifanshipper]

Monaco. A truly magical place where anything can happen. Including potentially ruining your friendship with Max. With a plot twist.

Or, part 2 of my Max fic.

Warnings: exhibitionism(technically), smut, choking, PinV sex, drugs and alcohol

"Max Verstappen wins the 2021 Monaco Grand Prix!"

You were pretty sure you were crying. Your best friend Max had just won the Monaco grand prix for the first time. A huge achievement in the world of F1. He lifted the trophy high above his head as you cheered from below. The whole Redbull garage was in chaos, everyone singing and cheering for Max. He winked at you before spraying champagne all over the podium, crowd, Lando and Carlos, all laughing and cheering at each other.

You couldn't help but feel sorry for Charles though, a DNF at your home race is always a hard pill to swallow. Hopefully he wasn't so bummed out that he wouldn't come out and party with you and Max, after all they had patched up their relationship since 2019 and he should be happy for his friend's win.

You, Charles and Max were close, often hanging out whenever you were staying with Max in Monaco. Usually ending up at parties until ungodly hours, you all finding company and going your seperate ways for the night, then meeting up the next day at a café, hungover and full of juicy gossip.

However this particular party felt a bit off for some reason. You'd managed to convince Charles to go out to a club instead of moping alone in his apartment. But there was a vibe. You weren't sure quite what the vibe was yet, but it was definitely there.

He was having more shots than usual, even after bad races. He was also hanging more around you instead of going to find girls to grind on and take back to his ridiculously giant bed. Not that you were complaining about it, you always welcomed Charles' company. But his arm found itself around you a little bit more often than usual. And you swore you saw him staring at your lips a bit too much for a public setting.

At one point Max found you and informed you he'd recieved a text from George, inviting you all to join him and a few other drivers at a yacht party. So you, Charles and Max went stumbling around the harbour trying to find this party.

Well, it wasn't exaclty hard.

It was the biggest yacht you'd ever seen, and in Monaco that was quite an achievement. It was more like a small cruise liner with so many people on it you were almost wondering if yachts could have a weight limit. It must have been some mega rich guy here just for the grand prix or something.

Before you could dwell on it too much however you heard a screech from above you up on the second deck.

"AYOOOO MAX! UP HERE MAN! AND YOU BROUGHT CHARLES WOOOOO! "

The three of you stared at Lando where he was hanging halfway over the railing, shirt way too open for decency, sunglasses almost slipping off his nose, and waving his glass around, getting himself quite wet. Nothing out of the ordinary, really.

Once you got onto the boat it was surprisingly easy to find the small group of drivers consisting of George, Alex, Lando, his friend Max, Lance, who was obviously selling something around the place, Carlos, who had obviously taken whatever Lance was selling, and Checo in a corner feeling up a girl who was definitely not his wife.

Anyway, you quickly lost both Max and Charles as you all mingled around and made acquaintances. But after a a few hours, a few drinks, and a few of whatever the fuck Lance had sold to seemingly half the boat, you got a bit lonely and set off to find people you knew.

The first person you came across was Lando, who had also taken something if the way he was incapable of focusing on your eyes as you spoke to him was any indication. He informed you that Charles had been looking for you, before going to look for some peace and quiet in the upper decks,

You got him a glass of water as thanks before going off to find Charles. It took you fucking forever. The place was huge, and you even bumped into Fernando during your quest, who greeted you with a big sloppy kiss on the cheek before sauntering off. Wow.

You found Charles sitting in one of the many upstairs rooms that sort of overlooked the deck below, where most of the crowd was, visible through massive windows.

By the time you'd finished ogling the layout you looked at Charles and found he was already staring intently at you.

"I know that look, Charles" You scolded him.

"I know you do. That's why I'm doing it" He grinned.

"Are you really that bored?"

"It is not about being bored. I want you"

You rolled your eyes. He always knew how to pick his moments, and he knew you could never resist him.

"But also..." he continued slowly, grabbing your hips and pulling you towrds him; his face changing into something more vulnerable "I want to have something Max does not"

Oh . This was a new development. Charles was jealous??

For a while now you and Charles had been fooling around. Max knew about it of course, you weren't exactly discreet, and you'd stopped counting the amount of times Charles had mentionned it off-hand in front of him. It usually happened when neither of you could find someone to take home and needed some good sex. And by god the sex was good. But that's not the point. The point was that you didn't really want this to happen on a random yacht, where anyone could see you if they looked hard enough up at the windows.

Add to that the fact you were pretty off your faces, and were possibly abandoning Max at this giant party, and it was shaping up to be the worst idea you'd ever heard.

"Because I thought this would finally be the year I would win at my home race."

"So I'm a replacement trophy?" You teased.

"Of course not" He grinned up at you "I want to give you all the pleasure that Max took away from me..."

So, you ended up on top of Charles on the bed, facing the door, riding him like your life depended on it. At some point, his hand had made it's way around your throat and was squeezing as your eyes rolled back and your rhythm faltered and your legs began to shake. He took it upon himself to grab your hip with his other hand and start slamming into you from below. You moaned loudly, not caring about all the noise you were both making as the music downstairs pounded through the walls. After all the times the two of you had done this, he knew your body like the back of his hand, expertly fucking you speechless with minimal effort.

Then, you realised with a start you hadn't locked the door when a shadow appeared under the crack and the handle turned, door swinging open.

Of course it had to be Max. Life would be two easy otherwise.

As your eyes met, his widened and you gasped, pussy tightening briefly around Charles, who took it as a sign of you being close. Embarrasingly, the idea of Max seeing you like this turned you on so much you almost came on the spot. His eyes staring you up and down, at the way your tits bounced as Charles rammed into you, at the way Charles's cock was splitting you open, and at the way you were drooling all over yourself and down Charles' wrist, your own eyes fixated on Max's.

He looked more turned on than anyone you'd ever seen. You were probably quite the sight, being dragged up and down Charles' cock like ragdoll. The thought made you clench again, so Charles groaned and tightened his hold on your throat, hips never faltering.

"Fuck- so tight. My god- rub your pretty little cunt for me and come on my cock, baby"

Max's jaw dropped as you did what you were told and started circling your clit fast and hard. He'd never seen you take orders from anyone, much less Charles. And he'd never expected Charles to talk like that, especially to you.

"Good Girl, fuck! Come on my cock." He slammed into you a few more times "That's my good girl..."

You moaned loud and you came hard around Charles, not able to keep your eyes open any longer as you rode out the waves of pleasure as he spilled deep inside you.

When your vision returned, Max was long gone, and Charles looked pretty blissed out, not realising what had just happened.

Tomorrow's debrief over coffee was going to be awkward...

So there you go, that's what happened in Monaco. Is that what y'all were expecting?

Might do a part 3, maybe not, we'll see. ^^

[23victoria]

Love in the Dark ❀

toxic!charles leclerc x actress!reader

summary: charles and y/n are hollywoods it couple!! they have the most perfect relationship….right?…

warnings: cheating, toxic relationship, cussing, sad, angsty

authors note: i love Adele and was listening to love in the dark and then this happened! not sure if this is good or not but oh well. sorry if your name is emily, jenna, lisa, or alex!! sorry if there’s any typos I’m too tired to check. any feedback is appreciated and please like, comment, and reblog!! hope you enjoy!!

f1 masterlist

Now

As the flashing lights of the cameras illuminated the grand entrance to the Met Gala, you and Charles stepped onto the red carpet hand in hand. The paparazzi clamored for your attention, shouting your names and urging you and him to pose for the cameras. You smiled gracefully, your arm linked with Charles', as you navigated the crowd with practiced ease.

You paused for a few photos, your faces lit with the glow of the paparazzi's flashes. Then, you were ushered into an interview with Vogue, where you both were asked about your respective careers and your relationship. You spoke eloquently about your latest film projects, while Charles discussed his passion for racing in Formula One.

When the interviewer turned the conversation towards your relationship, your smile faltered slightly. You glanced at Charles, who squeezed your hand reassuringly as he answered questions about your dynamic as a couple. But just as you were about to move on, another reporter interjected.

"Y/N, what's your opinion on the rumors that Charles is sleeping with another woman named Alex?" the reporter asked, her tone accusatory.

Your heart skipped a beat, your smile fading completely. You felt a surge of anger and betrayal, but you managed to maintain your composure. Ignoring the question, you simply brushed past the reporter, your grip on Charles' hand tightening.

As you continued up the steps, the tension between you two was palpable. You could feel the weight of the unspoken accusation hanging in the air, and it was suffocating. Finally reaching the top of the steps, you move to a secluded area, pulling your hand away from Charles, your expression stormy.

"I need a moment," you muttered, your voice tight with emotion, before turning and striding towards the nearest bathroom.

Charles followed after you, concern etched on his face. "Y/N, wait. What's wrong?"

You spun around, your eyes flashing with anger. "Don't you dare play dumb, Charles. I heard what that reporter said. Is it true? Are you sleeping with Alex? Your fucking ex-girlfriend?!"

Charles's eyes widened in shock, his hands reaching out to grasp yours. "Baby, no. I swear, I not in contact with her. I swear. I don't know what they're talking about."

You shook your head, your frustration boiling over. "How can I believe you, Charles? This isn't the first time rumors like this have surfaced. And this wouldn’t be the first fucking time you’ve cheated on me! Or have you forgotten the countless of fucking times you’ve cheated on me? Cause I fucking didn’t! I'm tired of constantly defending our relationship against these “accusations” when I know some of them can be true and probably fucking are, knowing you!"

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you turned away, unable to bear the sight of him. "I need some space, Charles. I need to clear my head."

"Baby, please, Y/N, don't shut me out," Charles pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. "I love you. I’m not doing anything with Alex. I promise."

But you were already slipping into the bathroom, the heavy door closing behind you with a resounding thud. Alone in the dimly lit space, you leaned against the sink, your hands trembling with emotion. You didn't know what to believe anymore. All you knew was that your heart felt heavy with doubt and fear, and you weren't sure if it could take much more.

2019

You stood in front of the mirror, adjusting your gown for the premiere. The dress was exquisite, shimmering under the lights of the spacious dressing room. But the excitement of the movie premiere was overshadowed by a dull ache in your chest. You glanced at your phone, hoping for a supportive message from Charles. Instead, there were no new messages, just the last text from him hours ago: "Have fun tonight, babe."

You sighed, trying to push the negative thoughts aside. Tonight was supposed to be a celebration of your hard work, your success. As a movie star, premieres were your chance to shine, but lately, even your brightest moments felt dimmed by the shadow of your relationship with Charles.

Their relationship had started like a whirlwind romance from one of her films. He was charming, attentive, and seemed genuinely in awe of her. She remembered their first date vividly: a moonlit dinner on the beach, where they talked for hours about their dreams and aspirations. He had seemed perfect, too perfect. But as time passed, the cracks began to show.

The first time you caught him cheating was with his ex-girlfriend, Emily. You had been together for about a year then. You had come home early from a shoot, excited to surprise him. Instead, you found Emily's clothes strewn across their living room and the two of them tangled in each other on the couch.

"Charles, what the fuck is this?" You had shouted, your voice trembling with a mix of shock and rage.

He had scrambled to his feet, his face pale. "Y/N, I...I can explain."

Emily had quickly gathered her things and left, leaving the two of them in an awkward silence. He had fallen to his knees, tears streaming down his face. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. It was a mistake. I was fucking stupid. Please, please forgive me."

You had wanted to walk out right then, but something in his voice, his tear-filled eyes, made you stay. You guys talked for hours, and eventually, you had forgiven him. He promised it would never happen again, and you had believed him. But deep down, a seed of doubt was planted.

2021

A few years later, it happened again. This time, it was with one of your friends, Jenna. They had been at a party, celebrating the end of finals. You had gone to get drinks, and when you returned, you found them in a secluded corner, kissing passionately.

Your heart sank, and you felt a familiar wave of nausea. You confronted them right there, your voice shaking with anger. "What the fuck, Charles? Again? Jenna? How could you?"

Jenna had pulled away, looking guilty. "Y/N, I'm sorry. It just happened."

Charles had reached for you, but you stepped back. "Don't touch me."

He followed you outside, where you broke down in tears. "Why, Charles? Why the fuck do you keep doing this to me? I haven’t done anything to you?! What did I do to deserve this?! Huh?!? Nothing! I have done nothing but love you!! And this is how you repay me?!"

He had cried again, begging for forgiveness. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Y/N. I love you, I really do. Please, don't leave me."

Against your better judgment, you had forgiven him again. You loved him, or at least you thought you did. You wanted to believe that he could change, that your love was worth fighting for. But the doubts grew stronger.

2022

As your career took off, the strain on the relationship intensified. You were traveling more, spending long hours on set, and attending glamorous events. Charles seemed supportive at first, proud of your achievements. But then came the night of your first major award show.

He had promised to be there, to celebrate your success. But as the night wore on, there was no sign of him. After accepting your award, you went backstage, your excitement mingling with disappointment. You called him, but there was no answer.

When you finally got home, you found him with another woman, a co-worker named Lisa. This time, it wasn't just kissing. The betrayal was physical, tangible, and it broke something inside her.

You stood in the doorway, your hands trembling. "How could you do this to me, Charles? On the night of my biggest fucking achievement in my career? Why?! Why do you keep fucking doing this?! I don’t understand?! You said you would stop! You said you did stop!! So, why?!"

He had tried to explain, but you couldn't listen. You walked out, spending the night at a hotel, crying herself to sleep. The next morning, he was at your door, looking disheveled and remorseful.

"I fucked up. I fucked up again, Y/N. And I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I don't deserve you, but please, give me another chance. Please baby, don’t leave me. I love you. I need you."

You were exhausted, emotionally drained. But you loved him, or at least you thought you did. You took him back, hoping that this time, he would change. But the pattern was set, and the cycle continued.

2023

You found herself standing in your shared apartment again with nothing but pain and betrayal coursing through your body. Charles was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. He looked up as you entered, his eyes red and puffy. You found him cheating, again.

"Y/N, I'm so glad you came back. I've been going fucking crazy without you."

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. "Charles, we need to talk."

He stood up, walking towards you. "I know, I know. Please, just hear me out."

"No, Charles. This time, you need to listen to me." Your voice was firm, but inside you was trembling.

He nodded, his expression desperate. "Okay, I'm listening."

"I can't do this anymore. This, this toxic fucking cycle of you cheating, apologizing, and me forgiving you—it has to stop. It's tearing me apart. It’s killing me."

Tears welled up in his eyes. "I know I've hurt you, Y/N I know I betrayed you. I know I’ve fucked up your trust in me and I’m sorry. I really am. But I can't lose you. I need you."

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face. "Charles, you don't need me. You need to fix whatever is broken inside you. I can't, I can’t keep putting myself through this. It’s just pain, never ending pain. And I can’t do it anymore, I can’t, it hurts so much."

He grabbed your hands, holding them tightly. "Baby please. Please, Y/N. I love you. I love you so fucking much. I'm sick. I’m fucked up. I fucked up. And I know. I know I have a problem, but I can't do it alone. Please. If you love me, stay and help me. Please. I need you to help me get better. I need you."

Your heart ached. You had loved him for so long, but you also knew that you had to take care of yourself. "Charles, I can't be your savior. You have to want to change for yourself, not for me."

"I do, Y/N. I swear, I do. If you stay, I'll prove it to you. I'll be fully devoted to you. I'll show you how much I care. Please, mi cheríe, give me one last chance."

Your resolve was crumbling. Seeing him so vulnerable, so desperate, made you question everything. You wanted to believe him, to trust that he could change. You had invested so much of yourself into the relationship, hoping for a better future together.

"Charles, I..." you faltered, tears streaming down your face. "I don't know if I can do this anymore."

He fell to his knees, clutching your hands. "Please, Y/N. Don't give up on us. I know I've messed up, but I love you more than anything. If you stay, it will stop. I'll go to therapy, I'll do whatever it takes. Just please, please, stay with me. Help me become the man you deserve. Please"

Your heart ached at his plea. You had always been a nurturer, someone who wanted to help and heal. And here he was, begging for your support. Could you really turn your back on him when he was finally admitting he had a problem?

You knelt down beside him, your voice trembling. "Okay, Charles. I love you. I don't want to give up on us either. But this is your last chance. You need to get help. We can't keep living like this."

His face lit up with hope. "Thank you, baby. I promise, I'll make it right. I love you so much. I won't let you down again. I promise."

You wrapped your arms around him, both of you crying. It was a mix of relief and fear. You wanted so desperately to believe that this time would be different, that he would change. But a part of you still harbored doubt.

Now

Tonight, you were going to the premiere alone. Charles had promised to be there, but then he called, saying he had an important meeting with Ferrari. Another excuse, another disappointment. As the car drove you to the theater, you couldn't help but replay the last conversation in your mind.

"Charles, this is important to me," you had said, trying to keep you voice steady.

"I know, babe, and I'm really sorry. But this project at work is huge. I promise I'll make it up to you."

You had nodded, even though he couldn't see you. "Okay. Just...try to be there if you can."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too," you had replied, but the words felt hollow.

The premiere was a success. Fans cheered, critics applauded, and you put on your best smile for the cameras. But inside, you felt empty. After the event, you decided to go home instead of attending the after-party. You needed to rest, to think.

As the car pulled up to the apartment building, you felt a familiar sense of dread. The feeling that something was wrong. You dismissed it, attributing it to your tiredness. But when you opened the door to the apartment, the sight that greeted you confirmed your worst fears.

Charles was in bed with his ex-girlfriend, Alex. The two of them were wrapped around each other, oblivious to your presence. For a moment, you just stood there, frozen. Then the reality of the situation hit you like a punch to the gut.

"I'm done," you whispered, more to yourself than to them.

Alex scrambled out of bed, grabbing her clothes and muttering apologies as she fled the apartment. Charles stood up, looking panicked. "Y/N, wait. I can explain."

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face. "No, Charles. I'm done. I can't do this anymore."

"Please, babe, don't leave. I swear, this was the last time. I love you."

But you couldn't listen to his excuses anymore. You walked out of the apartment, ignoring his pleas. You got into your car and drove, not knowing where you were going, just needing to get away. Your phone rang incessantly, but you didn't answer.

Finally, you pulled over to the side of the road, your vision blurred by tears. You answered the call, your voice shaking. "Stop calling me, Charles. I've had enough. I can't do this anymore. You hurt me, over and over again. You break me every time, and you enjoy it. I can't take it anymore."

"No, baby, please. Come back to me. I promise I'll change. I love you."

You hung up, throwing your phone onto the passenger seat. The rain was pouring down, making it hard to see the road. Your tears flowed freely, mixing with the rain on your cheeks. You felt a strange sense of relief, but also a deep sadness. You had finally broken free, but at what cost?

As you drove to your hotel, the rain became a torrential downpour. The night was dark, and you struggled to see through the windshield. Your thoughts were a chaotic mess, filled with years of suppressed pain and broken dreams.

You thought about the countless times Charles had betrayed you , each infidelity chipping away at your spirit. You remembered the first time you caught him with Emily, the gut-wrenching betrayal. Then there was Jenna, a friend who should have known better, and Lisa, a co-worker whose name still made you feel sick. And now Alex—another name added to the list of his indiscretions.

In the early years of their relationship, you had dreamed of marrying Charles, building a life together, and starting a family. Those dreams had felt so real, so within reach. But each betrayal had crushed a piece of your spirit, and with every apology, you had clung to the hope that he would change. The idea of marriage and children, once bright and hopeful, had faded into a distant fantasy.

You couldn't remember the last time you had truly felt happy. When was the last time you had smiled without forcing it, or felt loved without the shadow of doubt hanging over you? It felt like a lifetime ago. The vibrant, hopeful woman you once were had been replaced by someone who was merely surviving, stuck in a cycle of pain and disappointment.

You realized you had been living in the dark, loving him in the dark. You was trapped in a place where you were unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to live. Each day with Charles was a struggle to maintain the facade of happiness, to pretend that everything was okay. But inside, you were breaking.

The memories swirled around you, blurring your vision even more than the rain. The arguments, the tearful reconciliations, the empty promises—it all played out like a tragic film you couldn't turn off. You were exhausted from the constant heartache, the perpetual feeling of betrayal. Your mind was a storm of emotions, and you felt yourself slipping further into the abyss of despair.

Suddenly, you were jolted back to the present by a loud horn. You looked up, but it was too late. The blinding lights of the truck bore down on you. There was no time to react. The last thing you saw was the searing brightness, the last thing you heard was the deafening blare of the horn. Then, everything went black.

✿ .° • ✿ .° • ꨄ • °. ✿• °. ✿

Charles was sitting on the couch in the apartment, staring blankly at the messages he sent to you. The news was on, but he wasn't really watching. His mind was replaying the last conversation he had with you. He had been pleading with you, begging for another chance, but you had left. Now, the silence in the apartment was suffocating.

His phone rang, jolting him out of his thoughts. He glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was an unknown number. Reluctantly, he answered.

"Hello?"

"Is this Charles Leclerc?" a stern voice asked.

"Yes, this is he," Charles replied, his heart pounding in his chest.

"This is Officer Daniels from the New York Police Department. I’m calling about Y/N L/N."

Charles's breath caught in his throat. "What about her? Is she okay?"

There was a pause on the other end, and Charles felt his stomach drop. "I'm sorry to inform you that Y/N was involved in a car accident tonight. She didn't survive."

The words hit him like a physical blow. "No," he whispered, shaking his head as if he could will the news away. "No, that can't be true. She can't be... she can't be gone."

"I'm very sorry, Mr. Leclerc," the officer said. "We need you to come down to the station to identify her belongings and make arrangements."

Charles's phone slipped from his hand, clattering to the floor. "No, no, no, no!" he screamed, his voice breaking. He buried his face in his hands, his body wracked with sobs. "Please, God, no! I'm sorry, Y/N! I'm so sorry!"

He fell to his knees, clutching his chest as if the pain could be physically removed. "Y/N, please come back! I'm sorry! This is all my fault. If I hadn't hurt you, if I had been better... please, come back to me!"

His cries echoed through the empty apartment. Memories of you flooded his mind: you laughter, you smile, the way you looked at him with so much love and trust. He had destroyed all of that, and now you were gone. The weight of his actions crashed down on him, a tidal wave of regret and guilt.

Charles crawled to the couch, collapsing against it. He clutched a pillow, sobbing uncontrollably. "Y/N, baby, I'm so sorry. I love you. Please, come back. I can't live without you. I'm nothing without you."

The realization that he would never see you again, never hear your voice, never hold you, was unbearable. He felt like he was drowning in a sea of his own making, the pain and sorrow suffocating him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into the emptiness. "I'm so, so sorry."

He stayed there for what felt like hours, lost in his grief. The world outside continued on, oblivious to his pain. The woman he loved, the one he had hurt so many times, was gone forever. And all he could do was cry and beg for forgiveness that would never come.

© 23victoria 2023-24 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate or claim my work as your own

[writingonleaves]

got lovestruck, went straight to my head (got lovesick all over my bed) - nico hischier

universe: nico hischier x clementine sandoval (the blue au)

warnings: swearing, mentions of stuff you'd typically see in the hospital (death, etc), author has never been to switzerland (but wants to!!), fluff! angst if you squint

title: "slut!" by taylor swift

word count: 23k (originally 27k but had to be cut down bc tumblr apparently has a limit of blocks per post??? lol)

author's note: long anticipated (official) part two to this little ditty. takes place pretty much right where the first part left off and goes until january 2025. i love clem. i love clem and nico. i love this whole world, and it loves all of you right back. thanks for all the love, truly. it means so much. here are some more slice of life moments that will probably rot your teeth because they're so sweet! enjoy and please let me know your thoughts!!

~*~*~

Devils fans love Nico Hischier, Clementine realizes, as she waits in a cafe across the back entrance of The Rock, looking outside as Nico takes the time to sign things and take pictures with the fans.

To some extent, after being in Jersey for a full season now, she knows how adored he is — the multitude of 13 jerseys during every game and how she has never heard a single bad thing said about him, whether that be as a person, captain or player. But right now, she’s smiling as he thanks the fans for their support when she knows he was devastated less than 48 hours prior. 

This team, their fans and this community love their captain. They’d go to the ends of the world for him, she’s convinced. 

She feels her phone buzz in her pocket. She pulls it out with a smile. 

Nico Hischier 

Meet me at my car in 5 mins? ❤️

She smiles, just liking the text before slinging her bag over her shoulders, grabbing her half finished coffee and going back to the counter to order a cappuccino for Nico. She thanks the barista when he’s done, grabs the cappuccino and goes back down to the parking garage. 

Nico’s leaning against his car on his phone, but puts it away when he sees her walking to him. She shuffles over quickly and gives him a quick kiss. She doesn’t think she’ll get used to that. 

“Hi.” 

“Hey.” The fondness tinged at the short greeting isn’t new, Clementine knows now, but it makes her smile all the same. “Thanks for the coffee. Sorry I took so long,” he says, taking his coffee and opening the passenger door. 

“You’re good,” she slides in and waits for him to get to the driver’s seat. “You doing alright?”

He starts the engine and looks over at her with a soft smile. “Yeah.”

“You sure?”

He reaches over to give her thigh a comforting squeeze after backing out. ‘I’m sure. I promise. Play some music.”

“Do you even like my music?”

“I listen to anything. You know that.”

She chuckles, plugging in her phone. “They love you.”

“Hm?”

“The fans. I was watching outside the windows of the cafe.”

He shrugs. “They’re always great. Have been good to me since I came into the league and have stuck by us.”

She looks at him thoughtfully. “They also have nothing but respect for their captain, who led them through the season extraordinarily well despite all the downs.” She leans her head on his arm for a few seconds. “I know it’s hard, but try not to blame yourself too much. You can’t and shouldn’t carry all that weight. The boys know that. The fans know that.”

He nods and looks over at her with a smile. “Gotten good at that throughout the years, hey? Comforting people after big losses.”

“Tell me about it.” She thinks back to when Quinn and Jack lost the gold medal match in 2019 at World Juniors and both times Luke’s dream of winning a national championship with Michigan fell short. And those are just the ones she can think of off the top of her head. “I’m serious though. It’ll come for you guys. I know it will.”

“Thanks, Schätzli.” Oh. That’s also a new development. The first time it slipped out, Nico had almost taken it back with wide, panicked eyes. But Clementine had promptly pulled him down to kiss her. 

The team all chipped in to rent out a rooftop bar in Tribeca tonight to celebrate their season, the multitude of birthdays that occurred during the last part of the season that they couldn’t really celebrate at the time, and to just hang out before people start dispersing for the off-season. Therefore, Clementine purposefully volunteered for the overnight shift the day before and took a four hour nap before she tagged along to locker cleanout. She hid out in the cafe while they all had to do their end-of-season duties.

But they have a few hours to kill before heading into Manhattan, so the new couple spend the afternoon at Liberty State Park, enjoying the rare instance since the night of their first kiss where they’ve both been free. Clementine’s packed a small cooler with some tiny sandwiches, fruit and small bottles of wine. Nico lays out a blanket and Clementine toes off her sandals. It’s beautiful outside, and after she’s done munching on the food, she finds herself laying her head in Nico’s lap as he plays with her hair, talking about everything and nothing. Occasionally he just leans down to place a kiss on her forehead or cheek and she feels her throat closing up everytime at the sweetness of the gesture. 

They have limited time before Nico heads back home to Switzerland. She’ll take all the moments she can get.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Uh oh,” she jokes. “Should I be nervous?”

“No, no, no. It’s just..maybe a bit of a weird question.”

“Nico. I deal with kids on a daily basis. And other residents who have no sense of boundaries. And Jack and Luke where all social cues are nonexistent. Almost nothing fazes me at this point.”

“Well, of course I’ve seen you around Jack and Luke so I know what your relationship is like with them. But how are you with Quinn?”

“Huh. Why do you ask?”

Nico twirls a piece of her hair around his finger. “They’ve mentioned a couple of times how I remind them of Quinn sometimes, which you know, I think is a compliment. I respect Quinn a lot as a player and he did a great job captaining that team this year. But, I don’t know. I’m just curious.” 

Clementine smiles easily. “Luke’s my baby and Jack’s like the most annoying little brother you could ask for, but yeah. Quinn is..he’s also like a little brother, but he’s also my best friend. I think Quinn and I are the most similar in terms of how we think. So I guess that leads to a sense of…understanding? Like, on a different level than with Luke and Jack. And if you think I’m protective of Jack and Luke, I’m probably even worse with Quinn. He’s just always so busy looking after the other two that he sometimes forgets he needs to look out for himself too.”

“Then who looks after you?”

“Hm?”

“If you’re busy looking after those three, who looks after you?”

She sits up as he lets her hair fall from his fingers. She plops a strawberry in his mouth. “I don’t need anyone to look after me.”

“Those three don’t need anyone to look after them.” He points out. 

“Lies. You think Luke and Jack are annoying now? They were ten times worse before. And you think Luca and Nina don’t still feel a responsibility to look after their little brother? I haven’t even met them and I think I know the answer.” She shrugs, hooking her chin on his shoulder. “I don’t mind, really. They also, in a way, look after me as well, especially as we’ve gotten older. But I don’t think I answered your question. I guess you’ll have to see Quinny and I together and see for yourself.”

He hums, kissing her forehead twice. “You gotta take some time to look after yourself too. You’re no use to them if you don’t.”

“I know. I think I’ve managed the balance well. And you’re partially right. I don’t need to look after them as much anymore, especially since now Quinny has a girlfriend who I still haven’t met and you look after Jack and Luke plenty.”

Nico snorts. “I’m sure you’ll get to meet Quinn’s girlfriend this summer.”

“If the fucker answered my calls, that would be a start,” she says. “Are you all packed to go yet?”

“Not at all.”

He literally leaves in two days. “God, you all really are the same breed. I bet I could pack all your shit in an hour. Maybe even less.”

He smirks. “Is that a challenge?”

“No. Pack your own stuff. You’re a grown man.”

He laughs, and they switch positions. Now his head is in her lap and she’s running her hand through his hair. She’s still learning things about Nico, but she’s pretty sure that he likes her playing with his hair more than she likes him playing with hers. He clears his throat. “And, um, I don’t need to pack yet. I’m staying in Jersey a bit longer.”

“Yeah? How much longer?”

“Like, June 7? So what is that..three weeks?”

She blinks. “Nico, I don’t-”

“This has nothing to do with you,” he says, before grimacing. “That’s not what I mean. It actually has a lot to do with you. But it was my choice. I’m in no rush to get back, in terms of training and all that. Plus, a bunch of the guys are staying for a bit too. And I want to spend time with you, because I do have…what did you say? ‘Impeccably shit timing.’”

“I just want to make it clear that you don’t have to stay just for me,” she assures softly. “I know you miss home and I understand the importance of an off season.”

He looks up at her earnestly, “Spending time with you is also important to me.”

Her heart soars as she traces his lips with her thumb. He catches her hand and kisses her knuckles. “Well, I’m not gonna complain about that.”

The rooftop bar that night is a fun time, even if she feels very much out of her tax bracket. She chats with pretty much everyone, much more comfortable than she was at the start of the season. People egg her on to share childhood stories of Jack and Luke, which she has plenty of. And even if they both groan and act embarrassed, she knows they love it. The drinks are plentiful and she likes seeing everyone let loose the way they can’t during the season. She’s sure the team is still disappointed from their season to some extent, so it’s nice to see them all smile and laugh and generally have a good time. 

At some point in the night, she’s sitting by herself for some space, admiring the skyline with a ginger ale in her hands, taking a break from the alcohol she’s consumed tonight. 

“Social butterfly finally tired out?”

She looks up to see Jack, cheeks flushed and hair adorably tousled, staring down at her. She scooches over to offer him a seat. “A bit. It just hit me that I’m running on four hours of sleep.”

He snorts, sitting down. “Yeah, that’ll do it.” He tucks himself into her side like he used to do as a kid, taking her arm and using it as a pillow. “We still on for dinner tomorrow? Just me, you and Lukey?”

“Of course. I gotta get my fix in before you all leave me to hang with all your friends.”

Jack shoves her lightly. “We’re literally staying in Jersey until the end of the month. Or the Northeast, at least.”

“Okay, and Trevor literally flies in in two days. And then you and Luke’s friends are gonna rotate in and out. I’ll be lucky if I get a second of quiet at the apartment.”

Jack laughs, but then a worried look crosses his face. “I told them that under no circumstance can they enter your room without your permission. I don’t want them being here to fuck up your schedule.”

She waves him off. “It’s fine, Jack. I promise. Besides, I’ll just hide out at Nico’s if I need. Did he tell you that he’s staying a bit longer?”

His smirks. “He did. Mom invited him to spend the long weekend with us up in New Hampshire.”

“He didn’t mention that.”

“Probably because I literally just told him an hour ago when Mom texted me. You know this means he’s gonna be meeting Maeve, right?”

She blinks. “Shit, yeah. A bit soon, no?”

To her surprise, instead of agreeing or making fun of her, Jack just shrugs. “I don’t think so. You and Nico are the real deal.”

Her mouth drops open a bit in shock. “Oh.” 

Jack just shoots her an award-winning grin. “And Maeve is gonna love him.”

That, Clementine thinks, is most definitely true,

As they drive home, she’s in the passenger seat with Luke and Jack in the back, quietly dozing off. Nico’s hand is on her thigh as she’s queuing songs up on her phone. Even after living in the city for almost a year now, she still finds herself in awe at the NYC skyline, especially on the rare chance she gets to see it from the angle of leaving the city in a car this late. Her attention is brought elsewhere when she feels a squeeze on her thigh. She looks at Nico and smiles. 

(It’s hard to not smile when she looks at Nico)

“You have fun?” He asks softly, careful not to disturb the brothers in the back. 

“Lots,” she responds. “Thanks for having me.”

“Of course,” he says. “I think there would have been an uproar if you hadn’t come. Everyone loves having you around.”

“Jack told me you’re invited to Memorial Day weekend celebrations in New Hampshire.”

“Yeah. It was sweet of Ellen to invite me. It’ll be fun to experience a classic summer weekend out here.” He suddenly looks at her, worried. “That’s okay, right? I don’t wanna intrude.”

“What? Of course it’s fine. It’s gonna be a chill weekend with good food and a lot of sun. You know you’re gonna be meeting my mom, right?”

“Is that a problem? Moms usually like me. Ellen likes me, I think.”

Clementine rolls her eyes. “No, I just, as long as you know.”

Nico looks over at her. “Your mom’s clearly important to you and raised a beautiful woman. I’m excited to meet her.” She swallows roughly. Nico changes topics easily. “Have you figured out your plans for the summer? How much vacation time do you have?”

“Not much. Maybe, like, two weeks at most. I’m still trying to figure it out. The boys invited me to Michigan, which would be fun. I haven’t been back there for a bit. Some of my friends from med school are going to meet back up in California at some point.”

“Two very different options.”

“Yeah. I probably need to figure it out soon though so I can request the leave.”

“Have you thought about Switzerland?”

She’s looking out her window, so she doesn’t see the hesitant but honest look on his face. “Showing me your hometown already, Cap?” She jokes

“If you want.” She whips her head to look at him. Oh. He’s serious. He backtracks. “I-I get if you think it’s too soon, but you’ve mentioned that you wanna go back. And I could show you around. Or we could go to other places in Europe too. I-I feel bad that I’m about to leave when we haven’t gotten quality time together which I know is partially my fault-”

She pushes her chin into his arm, looking up at him as he briefly looks down at her before focusing back on the road. “You’d be okay with that? Me coming to your hometown?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“We just started dating officially..what, like a month ago? Not even?” She looks to the backseat to ensure that Jack and Luke are still asleep, or are at least faking it to give them some sort of privacy. They are. She turns back around. “I don’t…I just don’t want you to feel like you- I-you’re really important to me,” she admits with a swallow. “I don’t wanna mess it up by moving too fast.”

“You’re not messing anything up,” Nico takes her hand and kisses the back of it. “I’m not gonna push you. It’s ultimately your decision. But I would absolutely love to show you around where I grew up and spend more time together.”

“Can I think about it?”

“Of course,” he assures. “Take all the time you need.”

She leans to kiss his cheek. 

…..

“Switzerland?” Luke practically screeches. “To introduce you to his family?”

Clementine rolls her eyes, sliding him a glass of orange juice across the counter. Trevor giggles into his coffee and without looking, she smacks the back of his head. 

“Switzerland because it’s beautiful and to spend time with my boyfriend,” Clementine says pointedly. 

“Go frolic in Europe with your new boyfriend,” Trevor grins. “You deserve it. Jacky tells me you’re barely home.”

“I’m trying to become a doctor, Trev. I signed up for not having a life.”

“Exactly, which is an even better reason to go visit your hot boyfriend in Europe.” Jack and Luke give their old friend a weird look. Trevor just shrugs. “What? Your captain’s a good looking guy, and you’re delusional if you think differently.”

“I don’t care if Nico is the hottest person in the world. He’s kissing my sister. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that.” Luke says with a wrinkled nose. 

Jack chuckles, ruffling his little brother’s hair. “Well, get used to it, Moose. And it’s kinda our fault. I mean, we’re the ones who wanted this all season. It’s fucking hilarious that they decided to start a relationship when they did though.” He comes up behind Clementine and pokes her side, rinsing his plate before putting it in the dishwasher. “Z’s right. You should go. Even if that means you wouldn’t be able to come to Michigan.”

“Aw, Clemmy’s missing the Michigan trip again?” Trevor whines. “Nevermind. Fuck your boyfriend.”

“I haven’t been to Michigan in three years so I don’t know what you’re whining about,” Clementine snorts. “And you can’t get rid of me that quickly. Especially because I, you know, live here and y’all are going to be around for who knows how long.” She taps Trevor’s phone on the counter to check the time. “Alright, I gotta head to the hospital. See you guys later.”

“Bye!”

“Love you.”

“See you tonight? What time will you be back?”

“11? Midnight the latest,” she grabs her pasta salad lunch from the fridge into her tote bag. “Have fun. Call if you need me. The usual.”

“Be safe,” Jack calls out. She clicks the door shut. 

Her phone buzzes in her hand. She laughs out loud. 

Quinny Hughes

Heard you’re going to Switzerland? 

She rolls her eyes. It’s nice to know the brothers’ group chat is still as active and rapid as ever.

Clementine Sandoval 

all three of you are actually the worst

and i’m older than all of you don’t be trying to parent me

Quinny Hughes

So you are going. 

At least get us some good chocolate then.

Clementine Sandoval

lol i miss you

did you ever figure out if you’re coming to nh for memorial day?

it’s literally in two days i hope you have an answer

Quinny Hughes

Yeah I am. Especially now that you aren’t coming to Michigan this summer. Jack and Luke get to see you all the time it’s my turn.

And I’ll get to interrogate your new boyfriend.

Clementine Sandoval

sigh 

are you at least bringing lauren

Quinny Hughes

Yup.

Clementine Sandoval 

fantastic

finally another fucking girl

Quinny Hughes

Lol. See you soon❤️

Clementine smiles before starting her car. 

…..

Two days later, Jack, Luke, Trevor, Nico and Clementine pile into Jack’s car to head up to the Hughes family’s lakehouse to spend the long weekend. She lets Luke have the passenger seat because it’s a five hour drive and he has the longest legs. Additionally, she finds great amusement in seeing Nico and Trevor interact and getting to sit in the middle of them and put her head on Nico’s shoulder and her legs over Trevor’s lap. Though, with Trevor’s constant yapping, Nico’s surprisingly unhinged stories, Jack’s loud laughter and Luke’s tendency to make a comment on everything, the drive goes by so damn slow that by the time they roll into the driveway, Clementine is practically shoving Trevor to get out of the car.

At the front door, Ellen’s laughing and Clementine rushes over to her second mother to give her a big hug. 

Ellen rocks her back and forth. “It’s so good to see you, my girl.”

“You literally saw her three weeks ago?” Jack says, coming up behind them.

“Hide your jealousy better, Jacky,” Clementine teases. “It’s always good to see you, Ellen.” Jim comes up behind his wife and she beams. “Hi Jimmy!”

He laughs, wrapping her in a fatherly hug. “Hi Sunshine. El made sangria for everyone, and it’s still cold.”

Clementine lights up. “Oh amazing. I’ll grab a glass after I get my stuff.” She turns around to see Nico coming up the stairs with both his and her bags in his hands. 

A knowing smile appears on Jim’s face. “Think that’s already covered.” She rushes to help him out but Nico just swats her away. Jim nods at Nico. “Good to see you again, Nico.”

“Good to see you too, Mr. Hughes,” he puts his bags down to shake Jim’s hand and hug Ellen, as Jack, Luke and Trevor clamber into the house. “Thank you both so much for having me.”

“Anytime, Nico!” Ellen beams. “And please, call us by our first names. You’re family, especially after recent developments.” 

Clementine rolls her eyes as Nico immediately becomes flustered. “Really? Mom’s not even here yet.”

“Oh can you blame me, Clementine? Now I don’t have to hear Jack and Luke whine about when their sister and captain are going to get together.” Ellen says. “But I’ll be cool for now. Why don’t you show Nico up to your room and drop all your stuff off? Your mom picked up Quinn and Lauren from Logan and should be here any minute. Boys!” She calls out and Jack, Luke and Trevor magically appear and Clementine rolls her eyes. “Take your stuff up to your rooms so no one trips over your things. Trevor and Jack, you’re sharing.”

Trevor turns to Jack with a kissy face and Jack grimaces. “You and me, Jacky boy! Just like old times.”

“Get the fuck away from me,” Jack says dryly as Luke chuckles. Jack glares at his younger brother. “How come you get a solo room?”

“Because Quinn and Lauren are getting the other room.”

“And where is Maeve staying?”

“Probably in the basement so she doesn’t have to deal with all you guys.” Clementine retorts. 

Jack turns to his parents. “You’re letting Clee and Nico share a room? And Quinn and Lauren?”

“We’re adults, you know?” Clementine sighs, pinching her nose. “You guys are exhausting. Move out of my way so we can get through.” She hears Nico stifle a laugh as they reluctantly clear a pathway. “Somehow they’re even more annoying during off-season than during the season,” she says as they climb up the stairs.

“It’s fine,” Nico chuckles. “It’s nice. The chaos, I mean. Tells a lot about who you are.”

“Don’t associate me with those fools,” Clementine says with no heat as she pushes open the door to the room in this house that’s always been designated as hers. “Here we are.”

Nico puts the bags down and immediately scans some of the photos framed on the wall. He ‘aww’s and she turns around to find him staring at the one of her and the boys during her UCLA graduation. “You guys are such babies here.”

“A week before Jack got drafted,” Clementine recalls fondly. “The boys surprised me. I didn’t think they were gonna come because they had so much hockey stuff going on.”

“You went to all their drafts, right?” Nico says. Clementine nods. “So of course they were there during one of your biggest moments.” Nico points to another photo of both families when they were all at this exact lake house. Her dad’s in this one. “When was this taken?”

“2013.” Clementine smiles sadly. “It was the last summer my dad came here. I know it’s one of Ellen’s favorites. Mine too.”

Nico hums, kissing her temple gently before scanning the rest of the room. It’s mostly white with some rustic elements, splashes of tan and ocean blue in the comforter and the sparse decorations.  “Would I be right in assuming that this room hasn’t changed much since you were young?”

“It’s definitely cleaner,” Clementine laughs. “I know Jim and El use it as a guest room, but whenever I get the chance to come back, they say it’s mine.” There’s the sound of the front door opening and a cacophony of greetings floating through the room. She turns her body towards him and looks up at him. “Are you sure about this?”

“Well, even if I wasn’t, it’s a bit too late now, isn’t it?” He says. She pokes him in the side. He leans down to gently peck her lips twice. “Why are you so nervous? Shouldn’t I be the one who’s nervous?” 

She chuckles. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right. Let’s go down.”

They walk down the stairs, Nico close behind her but not quite touching her. Clementine beams as she watches her mom hug Luke and put her hands on his cheeks before greeting Jack in the same way. She knows her mom doesn’t ever miss seeing the Devils or the Canucks when they’re playing the Bruins in Boston, but that only totals to usually only three games a season. 

Clementine thinks a lot about how she sees Jim and Ellen as her parents. It’s during these moments does she remember that the boys see her mom the exact same way. 

Maeve’s eyes flit up to the stairs and she raises an eyebrow. “My beautiful daughter. You look exhausted.”

Clementine snorts. “Thanks, Mom.” She descends down the last step and hugs her mother tightly, breathing in the scent that has comforted her on the best and worst days. She catches Quinn’s eye over Maeve’s shoulder as Trevor is chatting in his ear and she can’t help but grin. 

Maeve pulls away and eyes Nico, a half smile on her face. “And you must be the infamous Nico.”

Nico chuckles, eyes widening momentarily as Maeve pulls him into a hearty hug. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Sandoval.”

Maeve lets out an affronted noise. “None of that. Call me Maeve. You European boys and your politeness.” Clementine laughs under her breath. “It’s so nice to meet you! My daughter hasn’t mentioned how handsome you are.”

“Probably because she’s the one carrying in the looks department of the relationship.” Nico grins charmingly and Clementine feels so fucking fond.

She then begins to leave her boyfriend and her mom to converse and turns to Quinn. Time with Quinn is always scarce. She leans up to wrap her arms around his neck. “Hey Q.”

“Hey Clem.” 

Clementine turns to the beautiful girl next to him. “And you must be Lauren. It’s nice to finally meet you.” She also pulls the girl into a hug. “Quinn’s been keeping you away from me.”

Quinn shoots his older sister a dirty look. “That’s not true. It’s not my fault you don’t live in California any more.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Lauren says softly. “Quinn’s told me so much about you. I love your pants.”

Clementine looks down at her cream flowy pants with a wide smile. “Oh thank you! You’re gorgeous. How in the world did Quinn land you?”

Lauren laughs as Quinn groans. “Clem.”

“I’m kidding!” She ruffles his hair. “Damn, let me have my fun. I don’t get to do this often. And don’t pretend that you’re not about to grill Nico this entire weekend.”

“She’s got you there,” Lauren says with a laugh.

Trevor comes up inbetween the girls. “Have you met this one yet?” Clementine asks.

Lauren nods. “I have. Kinda. Hi Trevor. Quinn’s also told me a lot about you.”

Trevor’s eyes widen as he pulls Lauren into a side hug. “Never listen to anything Quinn says about me. He’s mean to me.”

“You guys are all mean to each other,” Clementine rolls her eyes. “I don’t know what point you’re trying to make.” 

Maeve claps her hands. “Out of the doorway and into the backyard, everyone! El made sangria and it’s too nice to be inside.” She picks up her bags but is swatted away by Luke, who takes the bags from her hands. Maeve kisses him on the cheek. “Thanks, honey.”

Jack rolls his eyes as they all start walking towards the kitchen. “We get it, Maeve. Luke is your favorite.” Ellen gives him a warning look as Quinn snorts. 

“You know,” Maeve starts. “I was about to tell you how glad I am to see you. But with that comment, I’ll abstain.” Jack pouts and Maeve rolls her eyes but messes up his hair fondly. 

Nico places his hand on Clementine’s back and leans down to mutter in her ear. “I see where you get your sass from.”

Clementine chuckles under her breath. “You gotta have some sass to deal with them. My mom’s the blueprint.”

Everyone grabs a glass of sangria before they migrate outside. Clementine finds herself sitting in between Lauren and Luke, Nico sitting by her legs with everyone else in various chairs or on the grass in some sort of circle. Clementine automatically carding her fingers though Nico’s hair as she speaks to Lauren and Quinn. She still can’t believe they’ve been dating for over a year and she’s only met Lauren now. 

If she was still in California, she would’ve flown her ass to Vancouver and parked herself at Quinn’s apartment at the first chance she had. 

While she’s listening in on a conversation between Nico, Quinn and Trevor, she catches both her mom and Ellen’s eyes on her. She narrows her eyes. She sees her mom not-so-subtly eyeing her hand in Nico’s hair and him leaning back against her legs. 

Jack notices, looking between the two of them with a smirk. “Thoughts, Maeve?”

“Jack,” Clementine says in a warning tone. Nico squeezes her ankle in reassurance. 

“I didn’t even say anything!” 

Maeve chuckles, and Clementine sees her smile, the same smile that everyone says she also has. “Nothing in particular. Just thinking about how fun your time in Jersey has probably been so far.”

Clementine bites her lip, closed lipped-smile threatening to burst through the seams. “It could be worse.” 

As expected, Jack rolls his eyes and Luke gives her a dirty look. “Well, what could make it better?” Luke asks. 

“If you guys cooked more for me.”

Quinn looks at his brothers with a disapproving look. “You’re making Clem cook for all of you? Guys, come on. She’s busier than all of us combined.”

Jack’s jaw drops wide open as Trevor cackles. “That’s not even true! We cook for you. Just not as much because you’re just a better cook. And you always have leftovers.” Jack reaches over to whack Clementine’s shoulder. “Stop making us look like bad roommates.”

Clementine chuckles to herself. She has a lot of favorite things in life, but making fun of her brothers and throwing them under the bus has to be at the top. 

Nico looks up at her and she has to stop herself from leaning down and kissing him silly. “That cake you baked me for my birthday is still the best dessert I’ve had in awhile.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re just being nice. And, I baked another one for Jack and Luke, which circles back to my point.”

Ellen starts lightly scolding her two youngest for not cooking more and Clementine snickers as she feels Nico’s shoulders shake as he’s trying to hold back his laugh. She drops his hands from his hair and instead leans forward, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. He automatically grabs her wrists and keeps his hands there. She places a quick kiss to the side of his head. 

(Without their knowledge, Maeve catches the romantic motion. She doesn’t even bother to hide her smile.)

It’s not the first time she’s seen Nico around the people she loves, but that whole weekend, she watches him and her mom get along so well, him offer to help out Ellen and Jim for meals, him shove Trevor into the lake when he’s being an absolute pest, him sitting down with Quinn by the fire one night a bit away from everyone to talk about something that neither Quinn or Nico will tell her about so she knows it’s about her. 

He slips so easily into the most important part of her life. Clementine doesn’t quite love him yet, but she’s real close. 

Their last night, as they’re getting ready to sleep, Clementine's just staring at Nico from her bed as he’s in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He catches her eye in the mirror and smiles, but toothpaste dribbles down his chins causing him to curse and her to laugh. 

When he climbs under the covers, she places her head on his chest. “Thanks.” 

“For?” 

“Coming here. I’m sure it’s a lot.” 

“It’s not,” he assures gently. “Why would it be?” 

She shrugs, because he’s right, in a sense. “Families are always a lot, no matter how good they are. And I know Quinn and Jimmy grilled you way more than necessary.” 

“Baby,” he rubs up and down her arm. “I knew that was gonna happen as soon as I was invited here. They were more than fine. Jack and Luke’s threats were way worse.”

“They’re annoying.” 

“They love you,” he says. “And they’re protective of you. I get it. I’m the same way with Nina.” 

She shifts so she’s eye level with him. “About that…” 

“Hm?” 

“I got the okay from my supervisors to take two weeks off.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Can I still come to see you in Switzerland?” She asks, biting her lip, nervous all of a sudden. 

Nico kisses her soundly. “Of course,” he mutters against her lips. “Yes. When?”

“I was thinking early July?” 

“To spend your birthday?” 

“If you’ll have me.” 

He squeezes her exaggeratingly, making her giggle. “You’re silly. Of course. Is there anywhere you really wanna go?” 

“I mean, I’ll go anywhere.”

“I can take you all around Switzerland. Give you the grand tour.”

“That sounds perfect,” she swallows before bringing up something that’s very important to her. “I’m paying half.” 

Nico counters back immediately. “One third.” 

She scoffs. She was prepared for this disagreement. “Half.” 

“Hey,” he kisses the top of her head. “You’re coming to see me. The least I can do is handle all of that.” 

“You’re housing me and taking me around. I’m paying for half.” 

“Nope.”

“Nico. I am perfectly capable of paying for myself.” 

“You pay for your own plane tickets and I got the rest.” 

“I pay for my own plane tickets and meals and then you got the rest.” 

“Schätzli. Let me take care of it, yeah? I want to. And I’m perfectly capable of doing so.” 

“I don’t want you to think I’m a gold digger,” Clementine says with a bit of a whine, making Nico snort. 

“I know you’re not a gold digger. If you were, you’d actually let Jack pay for you more. You know he makes more than I do, right?”

“Weird flex.”

“You pay for your plane tickets and some meals,” he compromises. “Save the rest up for something else. Buy Luke a new suit for his birthday or something.” 

She chuckles. “He does need one.” 

“Exactly.” 

Clementine lets out relenting a sigh. She’ll just have to sneak her card in here or there. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“Yeah. I just really don’t want you to think I’m mooching off you or anything.” 

“I’ve never thought of it like that at all, I promise,” he assures. She settles back against his chest again. “I’m so excited for you to come.” 

“I hope your family doesn’t hate me.” 

“They won’t.” And he says it so confidently that she has to believe him. “No one could hate you. Besides, Nina’s been dying to meet you and Luca wants to know the ‘girl who’s voluntarily dealing with my shit.’”

She laughs, turning to shut off the lamp. “Still. You’re their baby brother.” 

He pouts. “I’m not a baby.” 

She rolls her eyes. “I’m convinced.” She yawns, tossing a blanket over them both. “We should sleep. Gotta have energy to deal with the hooligans in the car tomorrow.” 

He laughs, kissing her forehead. “Goodnight.” 

*****

Clementine offers to drive Nico to the airport before she goes to the hospital, even though he tries to vehemently fight her on it. Clementine ultimately wins the argument, wanting to spend as much time as possible before he leaves. 

“It’s only a month,” she reminds him as she kills the engine at the curbside of the departure terminal at Newark Liberty International Airport, biting her lip to also assure herself. 

He leans over the console to kiss her sweetly. “I know,” he murmurs against her lips. “That’s a long time though.”

She runs a hand through his hair. He leans into it instinctively. “I’ll be there with you before you know it. You’ll be having too much fun catching up with family and friends to even think about me.”

“Not true.” She rolls her eyes with a smile as they both climb out of the car. Nico finishes unloading his luggage from the trunk as he carries it to the curb. Clementine’s amazed that no one has yelled at them for parking by the curbside too long yet.

She wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly, leaning her head on his chest and breathing in deeply, trying to memorize his scent. “I’ll miss you.”

“I miss you already,” he mutters into her hair. “I’ll call.”

“You fucking better,” she shoots back with no bite. “Have fun, okay? Enjoy your time off.”

He kisses her one more time, which turns into three more times. Clementine bites her lower lip as he backs away to try not to cry. He brushes his thumb against her cheek. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

She nods with a shaky smile. “Yeah. Text me before you take off.”

“Of course.” He clasps his hand on his suitcase handles and backs away with a sweet smile. “Bye, baby.”

After he walks through the doors, she promptly drives herself to the train station, music playing louder than normal to hopefully drown out her own loud thoughts. She parks to see a text from Nico saying that he’s at the gate, a horribly-angled selfie of him and a coffee he must’ve bought. 

Clementine saves it.

…..

It’s only been eleven days since Nico flew back to Switzerland. They text everyday and FaceTime when the time differences allow. She always wakes up to a good morning text and a mini photo dump of pictures he’s taken that day. Sometimes they’re of the beautiful sights of Bern or Naters or wherever he is. Sometimes they’re literally just a picture of his toast for breakfast. But they’re nice to receive. And at his urging, she sends similar photo dumps back. His favorites are the selfies she takes at work. Bonus points if she’s wearing the scrubs he got her for Christmas. 

She goes to the hospital. She spends sporadic time with Quinn, Jack, Luke and other stragglers who show up at the apartment before they all head back to Michigan or wherever else. Nico relaxes with his friends and family. 

She misses him like a limb. 

…..

Clementine’s phone rings as she’s sipping on her coffee while sitting at a cafe by the hospital. She raises an eyebrow when she sees who’s calling. 

“Quinn. Hey.”

“Hi Clem. Are you busy?”

“You have me for about 15 minutes. What’s up?” She hears a sniffle and immediately she sits up straighter. “Quinny? Is everything okay?”

“Lauren and I broke up.”

She squeezes her eyes shut. “Fuck. Oh Quinn, I’m so sorry. When did this happen?”

“Earlier this morning. She-she called it off. Over the phone.”

“Over the phone?” Clementine tries to level her voice and judgment. “Wasn’t she just in Michigan?”

“She left last week.”

“Fuck, Quinn. How are you feeling?”

“I just, I’m just really sad, I guess. And a bit confused.” She gives him a moment to think. “I know she was voicing concerns about the distance and stuff, but we had talked about it and I thought we had come to a conclusion. I guess we left that conversation feeling very differently.”

Clementine picks at her nails, “What was her reasoning? Did she have any?”

“She said the distance wasn’t worth it anymore.” Quinn trails off and Clementine puts it together, her heart breaking for him as she finishes the thought for him. 

That Quinn wasn’t worth it anymore. 

Clementine grinds her teeth together. “Fuck her,” she says. “I know that’s not what you want to hear right now, but I’m serious. What the fuck? She just suddenly decided that after dating for over a year that she couldn’t do it anymore?”

“Yeah. I’m confused about that too. When she was talking and explaining her reasoning over the phone I was just, like, shell-shocked. I think I froze. She was bringing up things that she hadn’t ever brought up before and I don’t know, it just felt like she had made the decision to break up with me before I even picked up the phone. It wouldn’t have mattered what I said.”

“That’s shitty, Quinny. How unfair.”

“I mean,” she knows he’s shrugging on the other side of the phone. She wishes she could hug him. “I know I wasn’t the perfect boyfriend and there were underlying issues, but I-I tried my best.”

“I know, Quinn. I know,” Clementine sighs. How do you comfort one of your best friends through heartbreak when you can’t actually be there? “Q, I’m so sorry. I have to head back to work, but I’ll call you tonight, okay?”

“Oh. That’s okay. You don’t have to. Thanks for listening anyways.”

“I’ll call you back tonight. I promise. I love you. Hang in there.”

“Thanks, Clem. Love you too.”

Clementine manages to do one thing she does very well, which is push something out of her mind and focus on the task at hand. The second she clocks out of the hospital, on her commute back to Hoboken, she thinks through how she wants to talk this through with Quinn. It’s not her first time talking someone through a break-up, so she’s learned a few tricks and phrases here and there. Like most things, it just comes with repetition.  

But this is also Quinn. Her best friend. All her previous experience might not work and might not even matter.

She calls him as soon as she finishes her shower. She lets him talk for over two hours to the point where she has to adjust her position on the couch to be near an outlet so her phone can charge. 

There’s nothing really to say in a situation like this, as Quinn details what sounds a lot like heartbreak. She wishes she was in Michigan and could give him the tightest hug. Watching and hearing his sniffles through the phone has her throat closing up and all she can do is listen.

But as she climbs into her bed that night, she lets out a breath. She’s sure it hurts so much now, but Quinn will find a way. 

He always does. 

…..

Clementine’s phone reads 6:28 a.m. local time when she lands in Zurich. She yawns as she watches the plane taxi to their gate, Taylor Swift’s “august” playing softly in her ears. Somehow, the two seats next to her were empty so she had her own row the whole flight, meaning she got to go up and pee without bothering a single person. 

She turns on her phone, and texts the chat with the Hughes / Sandoval families that she’s landed, before thumbing over to her thread with Nico. He sent a text eight minutes ago. 

Nico Hischier 

At the arrivals area. Can’t wait to see you ❤️

Clementine Sandoval 

just landed!!! can’t wait to squeeze you 

Immigration and customs goes quickly, even if Clementine finds herself tapping her foot in line. She can already feel the heat of the Switzerland summer air seeping into her skin and she tugs off her sweatshirt, happy that she has a t-shirt underneath. Once she grabs her luggage from the carousel, she takes a deep breath, wheeling her suitcase through to the arrivals hall. Her eyes dart around to try and spot her boyfriend. It doesn’t take long. 

The grin spreads on her face when she sees Nico. He’s wearing an olive green t-shirt that’s seen better days and dark jeans topped off with those scuffed up Nikes that he always seems to wear. 

He’s holding a bouquet of wildflowers wrapped in newspaper, the sweetest smile peeking over. Clementine feels her heart threatening to burst out of her chest. 

She almost knocks her suitcase over as she throws her arms around him. She feels him chuckle and place a kiss on the side of her head. “Hi Schätzli,” he says softly. 

“Hi,” she pulls back and kisses him. But they’re both grinning too much to kiss properly. She holds his cheeks in her hand, happy to just be around him after a month. “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you more,” he grins. “You look so beautiful.”

Clementine snorts because her Stanford t-shirt tied with her hair tie in the front and the black leggings with her Adidas definitely scream ‘I’ve been on a transatlantic flight and I need to shower.’

“I look like I just was on a plane for 8 hours,” she says dryly. 

���Beautiful,” Nico says firmly as he takes the backpack off her shoulders and grabs her suitcase, giving her the flowers to hold. “For you”

She sniffs the flowers and smiles. “Thank you. You didn’t have to get me these. They’re so pretty.”

“You’re so pretty,” he replies simply. That’s twice in 30 seconds. He turns to look at her again as they walk out to the parking lot. “I’m so happy you’re here.” 

“Thank you for driving all this way. I know it’s early and far.”

“Of course. I just want to see you.”

It doesn’t feel like it’s been a month as Nico starts the drive to Bern to his sister’s place where they’re staying for a few days. The sun’s high in the sky despite the early hour, and Clementine happily sips on the coffee and munches on the croissant Nico had graciously gotten her. They catch up on each other’s weeks like they have been over the phone when they’ve been almost 4,000 miles apart. They talk about the teenager who recognized Nico the other day when Nico and his friends were playing a game of pick-up soccer and how they all played until sundown and Clementine having to step in to assist in a higher than average number of surgeries the last month, as well as having to work the Fourth of July. She holds his hand the entire time and both of them can’t seem to stop the smile from spreading across their lips. 

She’s here. In the most beautiful country. With the most wonderful person. 

“How are you feeling?” Nico asks. “Are you really tired?”

“I’m okay.” She yawns. “Even if I am, I’m not sleeping until at least 9 tonight. I’m not wasting time here by being jetlagged and sleeping at weird times.”

Nico laughs. “Fair. But it’s okay if you’re tired for a few days. I always am.”

“No wasted time,” she says, poking his shoulder on every word. 

“If you say so,” he grins. “My mom’s making a huge breakfast for us when we get back and everyone’s excited to meet you.”

Suddenly, Clementine is nervous again. “She didn’t have to do that.”

“She wanted to,” he assures. “I haven’t brought a girl back home in…ever, really. They’re probably more excited to meet you than you are to meet them.”

“No pressure at all,” she says dryly. 

He looks over at her and squeezes her hand. “You’ll win them over in minutes.” Clementine hums before Nico continues. “If Jack could somehow have them all liking him in a day, you’re gonna be perfectly fine. You’re all the best parts of him and more anyways.” She reaches over to fix a strand of his hair and she wants to smirk at the light blush that paints his cheeks. He clears his throat, “I was thinking of taking it easy today, just walking around the town and exploring the area a bit. And then dinner at my favorite place in town?”

“Sounds perfect to me.” 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he says breathily. “I, just…I can’t believe it.”

She grins, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Well believe it, pretty boy.”

(His stomach flips at being called ‘pretty boy.’ She hasn’t said that one yet. Two months after they’ve officially started dating and he still feels like a teenage boy with the biggest crush on the prettiest girl in school)

They pull up to Nina’s place and Clementine feels like she’s in a dream. Bern is beautiful everywhere you look. It’s almost like she’s in a picture book of a fairytale. She stretches and rises on her tiptoes to kiss Nico on the cheek to thank him for grabbing her luggage. She tugs at his t-shirt and he stops to turn to her, momentarily confused. She just wrap her arms around his waist again, wanting to feel him before they’re surrounded by his family. He chuckles, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head three times. 

As they’re walking up the steps to the front door, it swings open as Katja, Nico’s mother, beams. “You guys made it! Hello!”

Clementine can’t help but smile back. “Hi,” she shifts the flowers so that she can shake Katja’s hand, but Katja doesn’t bother and just wraps her into a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs. Hischier. Thank you so much for having me.”

“Thank you for coming all this way,” Katja’s eyes shift to Nico, who’s a few steps behind with Clementine’s luggage. “Nico tells us good things.”

She chuckles and ducks her head. “I think your son is a bit too nice to me.”

“Ignore her, Mama,” Nico says as they all walk into the house. “The only person who doesn’t know she’s the best is herself.” 

There’s footsteps coming down the stairs. Clementine’s met immediately with Nina’s smile. It’s the exact same as her mother and her brother’s and she is absolutely stunning. Luca is behind his sister as well with a matching grin. And Rino, who Clementine suddenly realizes is where Nico gets so many of his facial features from, just stands to the side with a small smile. 

“You’re here!” Nina exclaims. Nico says something quick in Swiss German which Nina rolls her eyes at before she pulls Clementine into a tight hug. “It’s so nice to meet you, Clementine. We’ve heard so much.”

“Yeah,” Luca echoes. “I’ve never seen Nico so excited about someone.”

Nico groans and Clementine hugs Luca with a giggle before nudging her boyfriend. “He’s not so bad either.” She turns to shake Rino’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hischier. Thank you for having me.” Rino shakes her hand with a warm smile before Nico pinches her side and pulls her closer. 

“Okay, breakfast is almost ready!” Katja claps her hands. “Nico, why don’t you show Clementine to your room? Luca and Nina, come help me finish up. Oh! I can take those flowers from you. Did Nico get you those?”

Clementine giggles as she hands them over. “He did.”

Katja pats Nico’s cheek in such a motherly way that it makes Clementine’s heart ache in the best way. “I did raise a sweet one.”

Nico groans. “Mama.” Clementine makes eye contact with Nina and they both burst out laughing. “Come on. You can take a quick shower and then we’ll come back down.”

Clementine shoots a quick grin at Katja, Rino, Nina and Luca before following Nico upstairs. She decides to jump into the shower quickly and rinse off, partially to wake her up, mostly to wash the grime of the plane off of her. Nico’s sitting on the bed scrolling through her phone when she comes back out, hair wet and dressed in a light sweater and linen shorts. 

“The fact that there’s a window in the shower looking over the mountains is so unfair,” she says, combing her fingers through her wet hair. 

Nico chuckles. “Pretty, hey?”

“Very,” she yawns. “Come on. Don’t wanna leave your family waiting.”

Breakfast is absolutely delicious and filled with warm conversation, mainly filled with the Hischier family asking Clementine questions about herself, which she happily answers inbetween way too much bread, butter and coffee. Nico tries to intercept a few times (“This isn’t an interrogation, Luca”) but she just waves him off. It’s not like she likes talking about herself, but when being surrounded by people everyday who know the ins and outs of her career, it’s refreshing to have people take interest in what she does who don’t work in the medical field at all. 

After breakfast, Clementine and Nico venture into the town and Clementine is all smiles. The sun is out but it’s not too hot where she aches for shade like she does back in the US. She had changed into a dress after breakfast and doesn’t regret it, resisting the urge to twirl around the streets. It doesn’t hurt that Nico looks at her in a way that makes her giddy.

As they’re walking through the scenic old town, it’s obvious how relaxed Nico is. Away from New Jersey and the expectations that come with being the captain of the sole professional sports team from Garden State, Nico looks like every other guy in his mid twenties. It’s not like he isn’t happy in New Jersey, but there’s something freeing in the way he walks, his shoulders free from the weight he carries during the season. 

They walk in the sun leisurely, stop by a few shops that look interesting to Clementine and grab coffee and pastries from a cafe that Nico apparently frequents often, judging by how friendly he is with the staff. She hasn’t really gotten to hear Nico speak his native language that often so she enjoys hearing him switch so effortlessly.

“You look happy,” Nico comments as they’re taking a break and sitting on a bench to people watch. 

She tears her eyes away from an adorable family to meet Nico’s warm, brown eyes. “Do I?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I am. Are you?”

He presses a kiss to her temple and she leans her cheek against his shoulder. “Very much so.”

“Did I pass the test?” She teases. “Your family doesn't hate me?”

“Stop,” he says with a smile. “They love you. I can tell. I think my mom fell in love with you the second you talked about growing up with the boys.”

“Really?”

“She has a soft spot for sibling relationships. She always tells us how she’s glad me, Luca and Nina get along so well.”

“They’re great, by the way, your family,” she says. “Much less chaotic than mine, which is definitely a good thing. But really, really cool. I…” She trails off at the sight of a stray soccer ball. 

Nico’s eyebrows furrow before he follows her eyeline. He chuckles and gets up, holding out a hand for her. “Come on. Let’s do some passing.”

She lights up at the idea of passing around a ball with the mountains in the background on a fairly large, grassy area. The most picturesque image you could find, she thinks. She takes his hand and scurries over, getting her feet familiar with the ball as he backs away a few feet. 

They start some basic passing as they’re mindful of the fact that she’s wearing a dress. Clementine never saw soccer as more than a form of exercise in her youth, but she sometimes wishes she had time to join a rec league or something of that level in college and afterwards. The few people she keeps in touch with still in Toronto are mostly thanks to her club soccer days. 

She’s definitely rusty, but it’s good to go through the familiar motions again. She wrinkles her nose when Nico pulls off an impressive move. “This is unfair. Are you good at every sport?”

He just shrugs modestly, before passing the ball back to her. “I definitely don’t look at ease with this ball on my feet like you do. How long did you play for?”

“Like, over 10 years?” She executes some footwork and smiles in satisfaction. “Played pretty intensely all the way up until I was 18.”

“I can tell,” he smiles. “My dad would be impressed.”

She snorts. “Don’t be ridiculous. I was never good enough to play at the collegiate level, much less professional.”

“It’s interesting that you do that.”

She stops the ball with her foot. “Do what?”

“Downplay your achievements.”

Clementine blinks a few times. “What do you mean?” But she knows exactly what he means. 

Nico lets out a light snort, “You know what I mean. You’re probably the smartest and most interesting and talented person I’ve ever met. Even when you were talking to my family about your residency, you were talking about it like it isn’t a big deal. But it is a big deal. And it’s really fucking cool. And you’re so smart and quick and…I don’t know. I wish you would show off more, even though I know that’s not your style.”

She smirks. “You want me to show off?” Without waiting for an answer, she concentrates on the ball at her feet and looks up at the goal. She dribbles the ball a few seconds before striking it in the top right corner. She huffs, satisfied that she didn’t whiff it, laughing as Nico tackles her and lifts her up in a hug. 

The next two days are spent in Bern, as Clementine fights the jetlag while her camera roll fills up. The Hischier siblings bring her around and she just soaks up the sunshine, views, and attractions. She especially loves flowing down the river on boats like the most seamless lazy river that just runs through the city, because you can’t really get that in the US. Nico continues bringing her around to his favorite hidden spots and to his favorite shops and restaurants, all with his hand in hers and the most beautiful smile on his face. 

After Clementine says goodbye to Katja and Rino, the four of them take two cars to Zurich, Luca and Nina staying with friends while her and Nico rent out their own place. They arrive at a beautiful, spacious apartment that overlooks the center of Zurich. Clementine’s birthday is tomorrow and she has no idea what the plan is because she trusted Nico when he said he would handle it, but she’s a planner, so she can’t help but bring it up as they’re relaxing before heading out for dinner.

“Nico?”

“Yeah?” He calls out from the bathroom. 

“Can you give me a hint on what we’re doing tomorrow?”

He peeks his head out of the bathroom with a smile. “I was wondering when you were gonna ask.”

She shrugs. “I trust you. But you know I’m nosy.”

Nico chuckles. “Yeah,” he comes out of the bathroom and takes his phone out of his pocket. Once unlocked, he tosses it at her. He’s lucky she has okay reflexes. 

She raises an eyebrow at him before looking at his phone. Immediately, she gasps and drops the phone as it lands on the carpet on the floor. “Nico.”

“Yeah?”

“Nico,” she repeats, breathless. “You’re joking.”

“I’m not.”

“Taylor Swift? How long have you had these? How did you even get them?”

He comes over to sit on the arm of the sofa. “Nina’s a big fan. When you said you were gonna coming here for your birthday, she mentioned that Taylor Swift was gonna be in town at the same time. I pulled a few strings.”

She picks up the phone and swipes through the tickets, shellshocked. “Seven tickets?”

“Me, you, Nina, one of her friends, Luca and two of his friends. I guess they’re all kind of my friends too. I hope that’s okay?” He asks, eyebrows furrowed worriedly. 

“Nico, shut up. I’m gonna see my favorite artist live and I wanna meet your friends. Of course it’s okay,” she tackles him onto the couch as he laughs. “I-I can’t believe…thank you. Oh my god.”

“Good birthday present?” He jokes. 

She kisses him fondly. “I don’t know how I’m gonna beat this for yours.”

“Stop,” he murmurs, deepening the kiss. “I’m supposed to ask you if you have something to wear and if not, that you and Nina can find something tonight or tomorrow morning.”

She thinks of the light pink sequin dress she had thrown into her suitcase last minute, grateful for her past self’s decision. “I think I have something, but if I see something when we’re walking around later, I’ll let you know.” She holds his face in her hands. “Thank you. Seriously. First the whole trip and then this. I’ll pay you back for the tickets as-”

“No you won’t,” he says against her lips. She pulls back and gives him an unimpressed look. “I barely paid for them. It would be unfair to ask you to. It’s your birthday. It’s my present to you.”

Let other people do things for you for once, Clem, Quinn’s voice echoes through her head. He’s said multiple iterations of it throughout the years, but this one in particular she can envision, at dinner right after the Canucks played San Jose back in her Stanford days. That was about something simpler — arguing over who was paying for dinner — but the sentiment remains the same. 

“Fine. But I’m paying for everyone’s dinner tonight.”

“Of course,” he beams. 

“I mean it,” she warns. 

“I know.”

She slaps his shoulder with a smile. “You fucker. I can’t believe you got those tickets.”

“27 is gonna be a good year, hey?”

She launches herself into his arms. 

Yeah, it is.

…..

Clementine wakes up on her birthday to Nico pressing kisses all over her face as she squeals and wiggles around. She stretches and her arm whacks him in the face, causing him to groan. She kisses him as an apology. 

“Happy birthday, honey,” he says, hovering over her with a light smile. “I can hear your bones cracking already.”

“I will push you off the bed.”

“Empty threats.”

She yawns. “How much time before everyone gets here?”

“Like, two hours? Why?”

“Perfect,” she says, pulling him closer to kiss him feverishly. He lets out a soft moan and she melts into a puddle

An hour and a half later, Clementine fiddles with the coffee maker in the kitchen as everyone starts filing in. Nina is first to bounce over and gives Clementine a big hug, wishing her a happy birthday. She meets their friends and glares at Luca as he places a large bag on the table with tissue paper peeking out of it. She doesn’t need birthday presents. But it’s sweet they thought of her anyways. 

After lunch at a nearby outdoor cafe that Clementine falls in love with, everyone heads back. The guys venture out to the balcony while she, Nina and Anika, Nina’s friend, quickly make some friendship bracelets and start getting ready. Clementine’s almost done curling Nina’s hair when Nico peeks his head in, lighting up at the open box of beads on the table. He scurries in to grab the supplies and takes them outside without a word.

Anika, who’s been doing Nina’s makeup while Clementine’s been doing her hair, grins. “You two are cute together.”

“Oh, thank you.” Clementine looks up to flash a quick smile before focusing on not burning Nina or herself. 

“I’ve known Nico since he was a baby,” Anika says. “Always the younger one, he was chasing us all the time. Wanted to do everything we were doing. But it was Nico and he was so sweet, so we never said no.”

Clementine chuckles. “Yeah, I get that feeling. Not that my brothers necessarily wanted to do everything I did, but they were never far behind me when we were young.”

“Right,” Anika dabs the liquid blush on Nina’s cheeks. “That’s how you and Nico met, right? Your brothers play with him in New Jersey?”

“Yeah.”

Clementine’s taken aback tone must show because Nina smiles at her through the mirror. “My brother has talked about you quite a bit since he’s come back.”

That makes Clementine look down a bit abashed. “I guess they aren’t technically my brothers,” she clarifies. “I just grew up with them.”

“So like me and Nina here.”

“Yeah. Exactly like that.”

“Do you play hockey?” Anika asks, stepping back as she finishes Nina’s makeup. 

Clementine snorts, spraying hairspray into Nina’s hair. “No. You do not want to see me on skates. I played soccer. Or football, I guess.”

“But you enjoy watching it?” 

The conversation momentarily pauses as Clementine is ushered into the hot seat. Nina unplugs the curler and plugs in the straightener (“I want to try something”) as Anika takes a look at Clementine’s makeup products. 

“I do,” Clementine says. “Enjoy watching hockey, I mean. I don’t know if that would be the same if I wasn’t so closely connected with the sport personally, but I do enjoy it. It’s more comforting now than anything.”

“I still remember the day Nico got drafted,” Nina says wistfully. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.”

“And I remember everyone here staying up to watch it,” Anika adds. “There were people piling into the streets after in celebration.”

Clementine grins. “Yeah, I get that. I still remember Quinn, Jack and Luke’s draft days. It’s an extremely weird moment. Like, it’s wonderful of course, but also strange?”

“That makes sense,” Nina says. “It’s really cool to see how things have turned out since then, but it’s an interesting moment for sure. Especially when you remember Nico, or in your case, Quinn, Jack and Luke, as little boys just being little boys.”

“Nico’s really happy with you, I can tell,” Anika says. “And I don’t just say that to say that. His smile looks lighter. Freer.”

“I think that just might be because he’s home.”

“It’s because of you,” Nina says in a tone that leaves room for no argument. 

When she slips into her pink dress and puts the bracelets on her wrist as they’re about to head out, it hits her what’s really about to happen. She’s about to see her favorite artist. She still remembers being gifted a CD of Taylor’s debut album from her father, Teardrops On My Guitar on repeat. After the Eras Tour sold out in seconds and the resale tickets were way too high, she lost hope on ever seeing Taylor on tour, at least this go-around. 

She walks down the stairs and the first thing she sees is Nico. Dressed up in a light pink button up with khaki shorts, a backwards hat placed on his head, laughter etched in the lines on his face as he converses with his friends and siblings in his native language, she swallows. He looks up as she reaches the last step and his smile turns softer. Nina’s previous words echo her mind as she easily presses against his side. 

Clementine wrinkles her nose as she looks up at him. “You really do love your hats.”

“You don’t?”

“They’re fine. I just like your hair more.” Without argument, he takes his hat off and tosses it on a nearby couch. She gives him a look but he just kisses the top of her head. 

The closer they reach Letzigrund, a football stadium, Luca had said, she marvels at how large it is. She’s been to large concerts before, but as they park and make their way through the gates, she’s taken aback. Nico gently tugs their hands so she doesn’t get lost in the ground as they go find their seats. Turns out Nico pulling a few strings means tickets on the floor, not too close to the action where they would get pushed but at a vantage point where they’re in the center and can see everything. She turns to look at him bewildered and he just shrugs, a wry smile playing at his lips.

She pokes him. “Best birthday present ever.”

He takes a sip of his beer casually. “I’m glad. You know I prepared for this.”

“How?”

“I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift non-stop the last month.”

“I know we haven’t been dating for a long time, but all I do is play Taylor Swift.”

“True. But I didn’t realize how many songs she actually has. And you’re probably gonna know all of them.”

“Probably,” she admits. She’s definitely the biggest fan among the group right along with Anika. “But you don’t have to know all of them to have a good time.”

“I know. I heard she puts on a good show.” They watch Yannis, one of their friends, exchange bracelets with a stranger before Nico nudges her lightly. “I’m also just, I don’t know, excited because you’re excited.”

She snorts. “You’re a sap.”

What she wants to say, really, is “I love you.” But she refrains. 

Throughout the whole concert — which in itself is a highlight of her life and something she won’t ever forget — Clementine wants to tell him she loves him. When Taylor appears in her colorful, sparkly bodysuit and sings ‘Lover’ while Nico’s arms find their way around her waist as he’s standing behind her swaying them lightly, she wants to tell him. When she, Nina and Anika loop their arms around each other screaming ‘You Belong With Me’ and he simply points his phone at them with a laugh, she wants to tell him. Right before the bridge of ‘Champagne Problems,’ when he whispers a soft “wow,” eyes glued on Taylor on stage as she sings one of Clementine’s favorite songs of hers, she wants to tell him. When he quickly leaves and comes back in the middle of ‘Delicate’ with a beer for her and a water for them to share, she wants to tell him. 

When ‘Long Live’ comes on and she sees his eyes light up in recognition, before he pulls his phone out to record the end — her favorite part and the fact that he knows that is something in itself  — she wants to tell him. When he and the boys scream ‘22’ so incredibly out of tune and she can’t stop laughing, she wants to tell him. When she fully loses her voice screaming out ‘Illicit Affairs’ and he can’t hide his grimace at his eardrums bursting, she wants to tell him. As they both watch Anika practically collapse when the opening notes of ‘Style’ ring out — she had come into the concert blind to the setlist somehow — and Clementine can’t help but shake her hips while singing along, she wants to tell him. 

When he presses a kiss on her temple multiple times during the surprise songs as she is tearing up, she wants to tell him. When Taylor closes out the show with ‘Karma’ and Nico is visibly in awe of all the colors, fireworks, confetti and overall grand finale, she wants to tell him. 

She leans into his side as they walk to their cars. She loves him. They bid farewell to everyone. She loves him. When they get back to their place, they decide to rinse off the sweat and grime together and he gently rubs massages shampoo into her hair. She loves him. 

As Nico falls fast asleep next to her, arm wrapped securely around her waist, she’s about to lock her phone when she sees that she has a few text messages. They’re from Nina, who has already speedily downloaded the pictures she took on her digital camera from tonight. She thumbs through them quickly, smiling at all of them. 

She stops at one of her and Nico taken before the show in front of the stage. They’re both not looking at the camera but at each other. She’s in the middle of talking — about what, she can’t remember — as Nico is just smiling at her. 

She looks down at the sleeping man next to her. She loves him so fucking much. 

…..

(She does end up telling Nico that she loves him a few days later, as they’re weaving through a farmer’s market in Lucerne, him carrying the bags filled with fresh vegetables and other groceries that they’re using to make dinner tonight.  She thinks he doesn't hear her at first, but he tugs them towards the side and drops the bags so he can cup her face in his hands and kiss her. 

“You love me?” He murmurs. 

“Yeah,” she whispers. “I-I know it’s soon and you don’t have to say it back-”

He shakes his head with a grin, “Shut up.” He kisses her again. “I love you, Schatz.”

“Really?” She swallows. “You’re not just saying that?”

“I love you,” he repeats firmly. “I adore you, if we’re gonna be honest. You’re getting really close to be one of the best things that Jersey has brought me.”

“Well, now you’re just being stupid. How about, oh I don’t know, your entire career?”

He picks up their bags again, tossing an arm over her shoulder. “One of the best. Love you.”

She lets out a happy sigh, momentarily leaning her head on his shoulder as the sun hits their skin)

…..

The Switzerland tour is wrapped up in the best way, in Nico’s hometown of Naters, right by the mountains. Seriously, how is one country allowed to be this beautiful? She gets to hear the stories that litter these streets, the memories associated with the air interlacing with the wind, from a man who she loves and loves her. She tries not to think about how this is the last moments they’ll have until he comes back to New Jersey in September. 

The night before she takes off, they go out to dinner at a fancy enough place that Clementine’s pulling out one of her more formal dresses. The candlelight illuminates Nico reverently, his brown eyes not tearing away from her for more than 15 seconds the whole night. The attention would be overwhelming, but Clementine just lets herself sink into it. 

This feeling of being loved like this? It’s new. And she’s fully aware that it’s fragile and it could crumble any minute. But not right now. Not with Nico looking at her like she’s the only person in the room. 

When he drops her off at Zurich airport the next day, she hugs him for a full minute. She doesn’t cry, but there’s a pull at her heart that plants the silly idea of staying here forever just so that she doesn’t have to leave him. But she pulls away, kisses him one more time, runs a hand through his hair, before grabbing her things and walking through the automatic doors. 

…..

Clementine’s about to take a shower when she hears a key click into place. Seconds later, she’s sandwiched between Jack and Luke, uncontrollably laughing. She’s missed them dearly. 

Luke smacks a kiss on her cheek. Jack ruffles her hair. She scolds them about leaving their bags in the front door where anyone could trip on them. 

They’re back for another season, albeit a bit early to spend their last few summer days in the city. Nico lands tomorrow. Her Google Calendar has been synched with the Devils and Canucks game schedules.

Suddenly, the heat wave that’s hit New York / New Jersey doesn’t feel so constricting anymore.

…..

She might’ve had to bribe Ben to switch shifts with her, but there was no way she was gonna miss the home opener. Even if she’s extremely tired.

Clementine somehow makes it home before Jack and Luke are due to be at the rink earlier than normal for the carpet and other things. They’re both dressed and ready to head out. It’s a reminder that if Clementine sits on her couch for even 5 minutes, she will fall asleep. So she shouldn’t do that. 

Not even a minute after she shut the front door, there’s a knock. Jack calls out that it’s open and Nico walks in. 

If this were a few months ago, Clementine would blame just getting back from a long day of work for her eyes literally popping open. But it’s not, and she calls the man who walked through the door her boyfriend. Yet here she is, in her scrubs with her messy ponytail and smelling of hospital, just staring.

Holy. Shit. Nico looks hot. Which, like, yeah, he always does. Clementine is well aware that her boyfriend is a very attractive man. But something about the new green three piece suit that she had helped him pick out over FaceTime when he was still in Switzerland and his hair and the overall look has her literally speechless. 

Luke, like the bitch he is, takes note and just laughs. “Cat got your tongue, Clemmy?”

She finds her voice. “Fuck off.” 

Nico just smirks as he hugs Jack and Luke before walking over to give her a peck, “Hi.”

“Absolutely not,” she backs away when Nico reaches for a hug. He pouts but she shakes her head. “I just worked for 12 hours in a hospital. You do not want to hug me.” 

“Of course I want to hug you. I love you.” 

Somewhere behind them, she hears a gag. Gags, actually. She sticks out her middle finger behind her back before leaning in to give him another kiss. “I’ll hug you after the game when I’m clean.” He ignores her and just smothers her in a hug as she squeals. He presses exaggerated kisses all over her face as she tries to slither out of his hold. “Stop!” She breathes out in between laughs. “I’m literally so gross.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“Can you two not?” Luke deadpans. 

The couple both roll their eyes. “This is nothing,” Clementine retorts. 

“I know, which makes it worse.”

Jack snorts as he grabs his water bottle and keys. “You two ready to go? We’re cutting it close.”

“Yeah,” Nico tosses Jack his eyes. “You guys go down first. I’ll be a second.”

Jack looks between his captain and sister with a subtle glare. “Five minutes.”

“We are older than you,” Clementine retorts. Jack rolls his eyes before exaggeratedly blowing a kiss to Clementine. She scoffs but blows him and Luke a kiss as they walk out the front door. “They’re annoying.”

Nico chuckles, before brushing a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. “How was your day?”

“Fucking brilliant,” she deadpans. “You can’t tell by my messy hair and eye bags?”

His eyebrows furrow. “If you’re too tired to come to the game, you don’t-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence. I’m not missing the home opener. Are you insane? I’ll be good after a shower and a beer or two.” She places her hands and gently straightens his jacket into place. “You look incredibly hot.”

“Yeah?”

She kisses the smirk off his face. “Oh please. Like you don’t know.”

“It’s a good ego boost hearing that from the person’s opinion I care about the most.”

She gently brushes her hand through his hair. “I’m a very lucky woman.”

“I’m the lucky one,” he presses one last kiss on her lips. “I’ll see you after?”

She tilts her head to the side and pouts a bit. “Thought I was going home with you after no matter what, Captain.”

Nico’s eyes darken the slightest bit. Bingo. “Careful, baby.”

Clementine shrugs nonchalantly. “Have fun. Maybe score a goal or two for me?”

“What do I get if I do?”

“Careful, baby,” she echoes with a smirk. “You should head out before Jack and Luke storm back in here. And you know they will.”

He groans. “You ruined the moment.”

She chuckles, gently shoving him back. “Good luck. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

…..

It’s not like anything is wrong, perse. 

Clementine doesn’t often get into her overthinking moods. Frankly, she doesn’t have time for it. Since she was 18, it was study hard, let herself be dragged out once in awhile by her friends away from the books, listen to her own gut when it told her she actually needed a break, feel herself falling more in love with medicine and patients and caring for them, rinse and repeat. She’s 27 now, and the contours of that thinking have adjusted to whatever moment she’s in, but her core is still the same. 

But when she finds herself in these overthinking moods, it consumes her. Her mom once told her it causes her to think irrationally, and Clementine had snapped back, even though deep down, she knew it was true. 

These overthinking moods could be about anything, and have been about anything. From grades, to the overwhelming ache of missing her father, to questioning if the path she’s worked so hard for is worth it, to questioning if going to California for eight years and away from everyone was the best choice or just the convenient excuse she could use when in reality, she was running from her problems. From watching Quinn, Jack and Luke from right next to them but also from so, so far away, to making sure her mother still enjoys and loves life even though it’s been almost ten years since she lost her partner, to her own self worth and if she’s as good of a person that everyone always tells her she is and how that can be true if sometimes she feels like she’s grasping at straws. 

The point is, Clementine knows herself well enough to know when one of these moods is coming. 

It hits her full force on her commute the way to the hospital, because of course it does. Last night had been really fun with the season home opener. She sat with all the significant others for the first time and the vibe was high. When Nico had scored, the girls had all cheered and pointed to her as she finished off a beer. Some of the fans had given her high fives and maybe had caught on, she thinks, especially because she was wearing a 13 jersey and Nico had pointed in her direction after he scored. But Devils fans are also just really nice, so it also could’ve been nothing. 

She already had a lot of the other women’s phone numbers from last year’s Friendsgiving, but she was officially added into the group chat because she’s not just Jack and Luke’s pseudo-sister who lives with them anymore. She’s also the captain’s girlfriend. 

Something about that has her mind racing this morning as she watches the streets of New York City at 7:29 a.m. outside the bus window. Now she’s thinking about whether she should be doing more because of that title. In the grand scheme of things, her and Nico haven’t been dating for that long. Realistically, she knows no one is expecting her to do anything more. She venmoed Nicole immediately yesterday when she had casually mentioned the money pool all the significant others have for various things like events, gifts and other things. But should Clementine be the one spearheading that because her boyfriend’s the captain? She just got here. She has no fucking idea.

She always thought being surrounded by hockey her whole life would help her in most of these situations. Not this one. 

When the time comes — if the time comes and her and Nico even last as long as she wants to — and off-season comes back around, is he gonna expect her to spend it in Switzerland with him? Obviously, that didn’t happen this summer because they had literally just started dating, but what about the future? She wouldn’t ever ask him to move his training closer to her, but how would off-seasons work in different countries when the regular season is already crazy enough?  She knows All-Star breaks and off-season vacations are a thing, but with her inflexible work schedule, how is all that going to work? Will he be upset that she probably won’t be able to join him? What if, somehow, Nico is traded to another team? Clementine’s home for the next four years is going to be New Jersey / New York. And then, vice versa, what happens if her future leads her to yet another part of the country?

Yeah, she’s majorly overthinking now. 

Usually, she would talk to someone about it, but in a rare instance, her mind comes up blank. Her mom and Ellen would just tell her to slow down and that she’s being silly. Emilia and her other friends at the hospital would listen, but wouldn't really get it. The other significant others are nice, but she doesn’t feel particularly close enough with any of them yet to voice her intrusive thoughts. No way is she talking to Quinn, Jack or Luke about this. 

That would leave Nico. But there’s something about that that feels off too. 

She’s also been told multiple times that she can’t keep things to herself. And she really does think she’s gotten better at it throughout the years. But old habits die hard. So she also does something she’s really good at. Putting it all away the second she walks into the hospital 

The next time she thinks about it is during a quick break she has inbetween patients, when she checks her phone and sees the notifications from the significant other group chat. Nothing important as she thumbs through quickly, but it still leaves her with a weird feeling in her stomach. 

And again, she wills those thoughts to go away as she steps back out into the hallway. 

The next few days, Clementine doesn’t see Nico much. She’s at the hospital and he’s busy with the new season starting and getting back into the swing of things, making sure his team is doing well on and off the ice and making sure new guys are acclimating. It’s nothing out of the ordinary — it’s not like she’s seeing Jack and Luke that much either while living with them. But she also knows deep down that it’s more than that. 

A week and a half after the season opener, Nico texts her to see if she wants to come over to his after her shift and they can make dinner together. Despite whatever weird things she’s thinking, she says yes. It hits her like a brick that they haven’t seen each other since Nico kissed her goodnight after the season opener.

She can tell something is on his mind immediately, or maybe that he knows something is on her mind, but they both don’t mention it the whole night. Instead, they loosely follow a steak dinner recipe Nico found online and keep the topics light. 

But she can’t help but feel like something is off the whole night. Clementine knows she should ask him. Talk to him about it. 

She doesn’t. 

Her stomach remains in weird knots for the next few days when she lets herself think even for a second about her boyfriend, who’s supposed to be the person she can talk to these things about, right? Clementine’s a bit out of practice — it’s been over three years since she’s had anything sembling a relationship — but goddamn, she doesn’t think this is normal. 

But she doesn’t want to burden Nico. He’s already overwhelmed enough with everything on his plate. She can see the wheels constantly turning in his mind. She doesn’t want to add onto that. 

So, Clementine avoids. 

…..

More patients. More long hours. The Devils first road trip. She should’ve known the people she lives with would pick up on something sooner than later.

“Are you and Schao fighting?”

Clementine has no idea where that nickname came from and has never asked. Hockey players are weird creatures, the nicknames they give their teammates included. 

She keeps her head down, putting the chicken pot pies in the oven. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I asked if he wanted to come by for dinner and he made some shitty excuse about calling his family or something.”

“Calling family is not a shitty excuse,” Clementine says automatically. Her back is towards them, but she knows Luke always beelines directly towards the bathroom to rinse off right after practice. So Jack’s the one who’s dropping their bags loudly on the floor. “Bags against the wall, Jacky.”

He grumbles and Clementine smirks to herself in satisfaction as she hears Jack move the bags. “So? Trouble in paradise?”

“None of your business.”

“Dude.”

“I mean it. None of your business.”

She doesn’t exactly snap — somehow, Quinn, Jack and Luke have never annoyed her enough to make her want to — but it’s something close to it. Silence, and then she hears Jack rounding the kitchen island. He tugs at her arm. “Do I need to beat him up? I know he’s my captain or whatever, but I will.”

“Absolutely not.” She finally makes eye contact with him and is taken aback at how serious Jack looks. “I’m not fucking with your team chemistry.”

“Who cares about team chemistry?” Jack asks, watching as she stirs the glazed carrots. “You’re my sister. So I’ll ask again. Do I need to whoop his ass?”

She sighs, leaning her hip against the counter. “No.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She shrugs. “There’s nothing much to it. Just a bump in the road, I guess.”

“About?” Jack presses lightly. 

Clementine bites her lip. One part of her is telling her that she shouldn’t talk to Jack — or Luke — about her relationship troubles simply due to the fact that Nico’s their captain and friend and teammate and rock and all of that. But the other part of her does want to finally talk to someone. “I think we’re trying to figure out how to be together with both our busy schedules and it’s…tougher than we anticipated.”

Jack hums, “I see.”

Despite herself, Clementine snorts. “I’m not getting relationship advice from my younger brother. I’m not stooping that low.”

“Lame,” Jack shoots back. “Your loss. I think I could give you some decent Nico advice. I’ve known him much longer than you have, you know.”

He does have a point. She watches him blow a piece of hair out of his face in thought. Then, Luke walks in with his damp hair. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Luke asks. 

“Nothing.”

“Nico.” She glares at Jack, who just shrugs with a smirk. 

Luke sits down across from her. “Oh wonderful. We’re talking about how miserable he’s been lately?”

Clementine busies herself by pouring him out a glass of water. “Nico’s been miserable?”

“Uh, yeah.” Luke says in a know-it-all voice that has her wanting to smack him on the head. “Besides, like, maybe a few smiles on the ice after a good play or game or whatever, he’s just had those sad eyes.”

Ah, yes. Those sad eyes. Clementine’s acquainted herself with those, even last season when they weren’t together. They come out after every loss. They’ve never come because of her. 

She shrugs, trying to be casual about it. She can feel Jack’s eyes narrowing and knows that his brain is moving. People don’t give Jack enough credit for how perceptive he can be. He tugs at her sleeve again, and Clementine sighs, lowering the flame so she can give him his full attention. 

“Do I need to talk to him?” Jack asks softly. “I don’t like seeing either of you sad.”

“Wait, hold on,” Luke interrupts. “You can’t talk to him if you don’t know what’s going on, Jacky.”

“No one is talking to anyone,” she says. “We just haven’t been able to see each other much lately. Or don’t want to. I don’t know.” 

“Clee.” Jack says flatly. 

She finally cracks, swallowing. “Obviously, I know what a season looks like. I mean, fuck, I lived with you two last year and I literally grew up with hockey all around me. I know it’s busy and I know he’s even busier because he’s captain or whatever. But shit, sometimes it feels like…I don’t know.”

“It feels like what?” Jack presses. 

She puts her head in her hands for a few moments before looking back up, squeezing her eyes together to keep the frustrated tears at bay. “Sometimes it feels like he doesn’t even want to be around me. Like we’re strangers or just friends or whatever”

“What?” Luke deadpans. “Clemmy, that’s…what?”

Jack throws his brother a dirty look. “Let her finish.”

“And it’s on me too,” she continues as if they hadn’t interrupted. “Like, yeah, he’s busy, but so am I. And I’ve been taking extra shifts and staying at the hospital to study longer because things are getting harder but, I don’t know. I guess now that we’re actually in the season it’s a whole other thing. I know I’m being unreasonable. Maybe I’m just not cut out for a relationship or whatever.”

She knows the last sentence is an intrusive thought. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have some semblance of meaning.

“That’s stupid,” Jack says. Clementine looks up from the table to look at him sadly. He has a look of fire in his eyes. “The last part, I mean. Not cut out for a relationship? What does that even mean?”

“If that’s not it, what is?” She huffs out. “I just feel like, I’m losing him? Assuming that I had him in the first place, I guess.”

“Clementine,” Luke starts. He never calls her by her government name. “What are you talking about? That boy is head over heels for you. You’ve had him since the moment you two met, I’m pretty sure.”

“Have you guys talked about this?” Jack asks. “Like, actually sat down and talked about how you’re feeling and why you’re upset.”

“How can we talk when I don’t even know why I’m upset?”

“It doesn't need to be, like, extremely coherent. Even if it doesn’t come out pretty or whatever, at least he’d know and stop making assumptions. And as someone who knows Nico, he’s definitely doing that, but probably not talking to you about it because he thinks he’ll just burden you with it.”

Clementine groans. “That’s the crux of it, I think. We’re not talking about the things that matter. We should be able to do that. Because I also think I’m burdening him with my unnecessary problems.”

“So, let me get this straight,” Luke starts. “Cap’s miserable and you’re miserable because you’re not…talking to each other?”

“Well, when you put it like that, I sound like a dumbass.” She picks at her nails. “It’s also more than that. A lot of factors involved.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Jack promises. 

Clementine glares at him. “No. Stay out of it, Jacky. You too, Luke. I’m not putting you guys in the middle of our shit when you have to play with him.”

“I’m not gonna say anything bad,” Jack says. “You said that you feel like he doesn’t wanna talk to you, right? Which I know is a load of bullshit. He, again, probably just thinks he’s bothering you with his shit because that’s how Nico operates. He’s a great captain and will listen to anyone else’s problems, but thinks that no one wants to hear his, which, like you said, is stupid, especially when it comes down to you two. I’ll talk to him, Clee. Give him a little push. And then you two need to talk.”

She turns towards Luke — since when does she trust Luke enough to determine a good idea from a bad one? — who shrugs. “It wouldn’t hurt,” Luke says. “Jack has a way of getting through to Nico like no one else can.”

“Yeah, but that’s on ice stuff. This is off-ice stuff. And something that doesn't involve you guys.”

Jack lets out a little noise at that. “Hate to say it, but the second you guys started dating, we were already involved.”

She sighs. Because he’s right. Again. “I love him,” she says. 

“I know. And he loves you too. No one’s doubting that,” Jack says. The oven beeps and before she can move, Luke rushes to gather the pies. “I won’t overstep, I promise.” 

They let the topic go for the rest of dinner. 

…..

Clementine doesn’t even get the chance to fully swing open the door the next afternoon before Nico’s pulling her into a tight hug. She freezes for a few seconds before melting into his embrace, rubbing her thumbs against the back of his neck as he rests his head on her shoulder. He mumbles something and she asks him to repeat it. 

He straightens up, hands still wrapped around her and clears his throat. “I always want to be around you.”

She blinks, before sighing in realization. “Whatever Jack said, it’s-”

“It’s not about what he said,” Nico says, closing the door behind him. “Not entirely. He just…lit a fire up my ass a bit.”

“A bit too bluntly and with so little tact that would seem rude if it wasn’t coming from Jack?”

Nico snickers. “Yeah.” He calms down and looks at her seriously. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she responds automatically.

“No, I mean,” he pauses and swallows. Clementine knows his wheels are turning. Even after being in North America for almost a decade, sometimes his English fails him and it takes a few moments for him to formulate what he wants to say. “I love you. I always want to be around you. I want to hear about your days at the hospital and I want to kiss you after every win and to hug you after every loss. But most importantly, I want to hear about your thoughts and feelings about everything, and that includes us. I’m sorry that you haven’t felt comfortable to do that lately.”

Her heart lurches and she places her hands on his cheeks. She can’t take the sad, watery eyes. “Hey. Hey. It’s okay. It’s alright. It’s on me too.”

He vehemently shakes his head, his hands reaching to wrap around her wrists. “No, it’s not. I-I’m the one with- you’ve given me so much control, with the season and everything, when you’re just as busy. Probably even busier than me. Shit, you’re literally a doctor. That’s nothing compared to what I do.” 

“Nico-“ 

“I know I need to work on communicating and letting people in. It’s been an issue my whole life. Just ask Nina. I, you know, the team is wonderful and supportive, but I still feel the need to not let them know too much about my struggles, you know? Because I’m supposed to be the leader. But you’re not part of the team. Not in that way. You’re my girlfriend. My best friend. And I need to work on talking things through with you instead of my instinct of shutting down or dealing with it myself.” 

Clementine blinks, taking it in. She’s always known Nico to be self aware, but this is a whole new level. 

He kisses her gently, before pressing his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry. I’ll be better. That’s a promise. You can come to me with anything, even if you don’t think it’ll be something I want to hear. You can trust me. Rely on me. I’ll prove it to you everyday.”

“You don’t need to prove anything to me,” she says, rubbing his cheekbones with her thumbs. “Just…please talk to me? And I also need to work on doing that with you. I know we’re both busy and have our own separate lives-”

“You are a part of my life,” Nico assures. “A huge part. Like yeah, it’s separate with the fact that you have the hospital and your people there and I have hockey and the people there, but not really. We’re a team, right?”

She smiles at him repeating her words back to her face. She had said that once in their phone calls over the summer where she started rambling about how she’s always seen romantic relationships as more than just sweeping each other off their feet. ‘If the two people aren’t on the same team, then what’s the point? Then it’s just two people with a whole lot of feelings who never truly see each other eye to eye’ she had said. 

“Yeah. We’re a team. Since we’re a team, can I propose something?”

“Anything,” Nico rushes out. And it’s so nice to know for sure that he means it. 

“Can we try to do one night a week? Just for us? Unless you’re on a road trip or I have a weird shift schedule for some reason. Obviously, more would be great, but one at the bare minimum?”

Nico hums. “One guaranteed date night with you every week? I think I can manage.”

“You think?” she pokes his side. 

“It’s perfect,” he says with pure sincerity. “You’re perfect.”

She rolls her eyes. “Far from it.”

“False,” he beams, sneaking another kiss. Clementine’s heart feels the lightest it’s felt in weeks. “I can’t believe Jack was right.”

She snorts. “About? Jack’s never right.”

“I know,” he rolls his eyes, before looking at her in a way that makes butterflies flutter in her stomach. “But he was right this time.”

Oh. They’re not talking about the fight anymore. 

…..

(Clementine finally tells Nico everything that day about the overthinking — the tendencies and the topics she was overthinking about this time. He’s rubbing her knee as she talks about how she feels like she has to be setting an example or something because she’s dating him. She knows he wants to interrupt and assure her. She appreciates that he waits until she finishes. 

He reassures her, which is nice, but he realizes that that’s not necessarily what she needs. Clementine just needs someone to listen. And Nico thinks everything she says is always worth listening to. 

But Clementine also likes to be proactive and have tangible next steps, something she and him have in common. So they both come up with the first step: Clementine sends a text to Kristen Haula, who has a lot of experience of just … being the significant other to a professional athlete. Kristen responds quickly and kindly, asking when Clementine has a day off from work where she can come over and they can chat. 

It’s always a breath of relief knowing people want to help with problems that she thinks are stupid. Because they’re usually not stupid. Nico’s there to assure her of that. 

She goes to sleep that night with a smile.)

…..

That conversation is just the start. Because you can say all you want in a relationship, say you need to improve things, but until things are actually done, it doesn’t mean squat. 

She can tell there’s something on Nico’s mind, even in the short phone call as he’s heading to the rink before a game and she’s heading home from the hospital. Clementine asks multiple times if he’s sure he’s okay and he tells her he’s fine, so she lets it go, wishing him good luck and assuring him she’ll be watching. 

The Devils lose 5-1 to Vegas, and it’s so tough to watch that she almost wants to turn it off before it ends, especially after the camera pans to Nico’s face and Jack breaking his stick on the boards in frustration after the final buzzer sounds. A four game losing streak. 

After giving Jack and Luke extra long hugs, Luke burying his face into her shoulder and Jack clutching her t-shirt, she calls Nico as she’s climbing into bed.

“Hey baby.”

“Hi.”

“Don’t beat yourself up too much, okay? Are you back at your place?”

“Yeah. What are you doing awake?”

She swallows at his blunt tone. “I wanted to catch you afterwards.”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Get some sleep.”

“Oh. Okay. Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about it?”

A rustle on his end. “I’m sure.”

“Want me to come by tomorrow morning? I don’t have to head in until the afternoon.”

Silence. “Yeah?” The raspy voice he’s gotten from yelling during the game momentarily makes her smile because she’s always found it so attractive. “Are you sure?”

“Of course.”

“Okay,” she thinks his voice softens. “Yeah. I’d love that.”

“Great. Goodnight, then. I’ll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams. I love you.”

“Goodnight, Schätzli. I love you.”

The next morning, she punches in Nico’s code and walks in to him pouring out a cup of coffee for her. He’s dressed in his typical day off attire: a random t-shirt that she thinks looks unfairly good on him, gray sweatpants and his hair is all messed up. She paddles over to the kitchen.

From behind, she wraps her arms around his waist. “Hi baby.”

“Hey,” he turns in her arms to peck her lips. “You eat yet?” He asks. 

“Mmhmm.”

He hums, following her to the couch and sinking down right next to her. He tucks himself into the blanket with an involuntary hum, burying himself into the pillow, dragging her down so that she’s laying on his chest. She breathes in his scent and automatically smiles. She feels him physically relax. 

“How’s the hospital been?”

Clementine shrugs. “The usual.”

“Tell me more.”

She blinks. Oh, she realizes. And she then talks about random details of her week that don’t actually matter but she’s figured out that sometimes he just likes to listen to her voice. Whether to ground himself, get himself out of his own head or both. He hums in all the right places to show he’s listening, but she also doesn’t really need him to listen about the workplace drama of people having a theory that two of her coworkers are hooking up. 

There’s a lull in the conversation as she listens to his heartbeat. She thinks he might have fallen asleep. She doesn’t dare move to check.

“Eight.”

So he’s not asleep. She taps her fingers on his chest. “Hm?”r

“This is my eighth season in the league. Eighth in Jersey. And I have nothing to show for it.” She swallows. She debates sitting up so she can see him, but she stays still. He sighs. “I feel like we’re just never going to have a good start to the season, and it’s just like this every year and I’m not doing anything right. I can’t shoot. I can’t score. I can’t lead this team.” 

“Nico-“ 

“At this point, if we’re not the team that’s gonna get Jersey to the cup, then who is? It’s always been about potential and things falling into place and sometimes I feel like all of it has and then we end up falling short anyways.” He starts breathing faster and Clementine sits up, holding his hands. She can see the storm in his eyes. “Fuck, I’m the captain. Part of my job is to make sure this doesn’t happen and that when we gain momentum, that we don’t lose it. But it feels like we can’t even gain that momentum so we’re stuck in whatever the hell we’re stuck in. It’s starting to remind me of my first few seasons here, which really fucking sucks and just shouldn’t be where we’re at. Are the pieces ever going to come together like everyone has been saying it will?”

(In the back of her mind, Clementine’s stomach drops because Nico rarely swears, and he just dropped two f bombs in the last 15 seconds)

She squeezes his hands. “Nico. Please listen to me when I say this. It is not all on you. Captain or not, no one is expecting you to carry all of that on your shoulders.” He opens his mouth to counter but she’s quicker. “Nope. I don’t want to hear it. If I’ve learned anything from growing up with three hockey-playing brothers, is that hockey is a team sport. You win together. You lose together. Everything you go through? You go through together.”

“But I feel like I’m not doing anything right.”

“If any single one of your teammates heard you right now, I know they’d smack you in the face.” Clementine says bluntly. “Even before we were dating, from day one of training camp in Jack’s rookie year, when you didn’t even have the C yet, he was already raving to me about how good of a role model you were. You didn’t just get that C just because, Nico. You were and are the best option. I fully believe it. Your teammates respect you so much, baby. I see it with my own eyes every game. And they love and respect you enough to know that this is not all on you. You lead your team so beautifully. It is your team. And fuck the media and what they’re saying. Half of them can’t even hold a stick in their hand or skate. Literally who cares what they think? The outside noise is all bullshit anyways.” She rubs his cheekbones with her thumbs. “I know my words can’t fix the slump you guys are in. But I refuse to let you believe that any of this is entirely your fault. It is anything but. I refuse you to let you believe you’re anything but a good leader. You are the best leader. But you need to put less pressure on yourself over things that are out of your control.”

She lets her words wash over him, as he nods. One of her favorite things about him is that he’s always so expressive, especially in the domestic environment of his apartment under the maroon blanket she knitted him for Christmas. Here he is, not under any arena lights, just in his home away from home, trying to find some grounding. She places a kiss on his forehead and he practically falls into her touch.

“Everything about you always helps,” Nico whispers. “Thank you.”

“No need,” she smiles as his cheek rests on her stomach, arms wrapped around her waist in a tight embrace. “It’s okay to be frustrated and upset, honey. I get it. But you’re gonna drive yourself insane if you keep holding all this weight on your shoulders. Share it with others. Share it with your teammates. Share it with me. It’s what we’re here for.” Nico mutters something in German and she snorts. “English, please.”

“I don’t want to share it with you if it means I’m gonna explode and scare you. That’s the last thing I want to do.”

Clementine blinks, digesting that statement. She picks her words carefully. “It’s more than okay to show emotions. Any psychologist would tell you it’s healthy to do so. The fact that you’re afraid at the idea of scaring me is probably a good indicator that you won’t. And please. Give me some credit. I don’t get scared easily.” She leans down to press a kiss in his hair. “I mean it. Share the burdens, baby. We all want to help.” 

He hums and she lets him play with her fingers before she has to go to work. 

…..

There were cons to not living near the boys for eight years — missing big moments and not having their presence around all the time being the two biggest ones. 

But there were pros too. Such as, not being a part of moments that she would rather be anywhere else for. She doesn’t know who gave the three boys the sex talk (it probably was Quinn, but who gave it to him?) and she knows that if she had been in Toronto or Michigan during that time, she would’ve begrudgingly done it and hated every second. 

If she thinks about it too much, it’s kinda incredible how she hasn’t encountered this particular situation yet. 

This particular situation being this: Clementine’s just come back from an overnight shift she got let off early from, exhausted to her bones but not exhausted enough to be immobile. On the drive back from the station, she was debating whether to stop by her favorite deli or make her own brunch. She ultimately decided that there are too many things in the fridge to justify her going to the deli. Maybe next week. 

So now here she is, preparing her feta egg bake thing that she saw on TikTok, a mix of vegetables drizzled in olive oil and various herbs sitting on the counter on another tray, ready to go into the oven. She hears the front door open and glaces at the clock on the microwave. Morning skate must’ve been earlier than normal today. 

“Hello?” Luke’s voice calls out. 

“In the kitchen!”

She hears two pairs of footsteps come closer, assuming that Jack is with him. Though if she had stopped to think about it, she would’ve automatically thought it was weird that he didn’t call out a greeting either. She turns around, half smile planted on her face. The half smile doesn’t exactly drop at the sight of the unknown blonde girl next to him. Just turns more confused. Before Clementine can say anything, Luke speaks up. 

“Hey. I didn’t think you’d be home until later.”

“They let me out early,” she searches her mind quickly, trying to see how to ask who the fuck is in their kitchen without sounding like a bitch. 

Luckily, Luke does it for her. He clears his throat. “Uh, Clemmy, this is Ava. Ava, Clemmy. Or, Clementine, I guess.”

Clementine decides to put him out of his misery a bit. She hopes her smile is friendly enough. “Nice to meet you, Ava.”

“Same here. Are you Jack’s girlfriend?”

Before she can stop herself, she snickers. “He fucking wishes.”

“That’s Amelie,” Luke corrects. “Clemmy’s dating Nico, my captain.”

Ava’s eyes widen. “Oh. I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay,” Clementine waves away her apology easily. “A lot of names. A lot of characters. Speaking of, where is Jack?”

“Dropped him off at Amelie’s after practice, actually. She’s totally gonna kill me though. I think she has to head to Philly later.”

“She’s definitely gonna kill you. Have you two eaten yet?” She asks politely. 

Ava nods. “We did. Thank you so much though.”

“Anytime.” Luke makes a move to lead Ava to his room and Clementine immediately gets the hint. “If you change your mind, our fridge is open to all. I live here, which means there should be something edible.”

“Hey!” Luke protests. The two girls laugh. “Thanks though. Are you heading to Cap’s?”

Clementine shrugs. “I was going to eat, nap and maybe head over later, but I also didn’t know your morning skate was earlier than normal. Maybe I’ll go over to his and use him as my pillow.”

“Don’t drive if you’re too tired,” Luke warns, sounding entirely too much like Jack. “Hisch can wait if needed.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She waves her spatula at them. “Alright. I’m off an overnight shift, so you know what that means.”

Luke rolls his eyes as Ava looks between them curiously. “Your social battery is at its lowest and you’ll start snapping soon.” Ava looks amused and Clementine grins. “C’mon, Ava. Let’s go to my room.”

“It was nice to meet you,” Ava says. 

“Likewise,” Clementine responds. The second Luke’s door shuts, she puts the feta egg bake and the vegetables in the oven and immediately grabs her phone, thumbing over to her text chain with Nico. 

Clementine Sandoval 

lol just had a major big sister moment 

She gets a reply in seconds. 

Nico Hischier 

???

A moment you haven’t already experienced?

Clementine Sandoval 

luke just came home with a girl I’ve never met before 

Nico Hischier 

In the day time? Lol

Does Jack know about this? 

Clementine Sandoval 

lol i’m assuming not

i def would’ve heard about it by now 

luke’s not that stupid if he wanted to keep it quiet (which it seems like he does) jack would be the last person he’d tell 

Nico Hischier 

You do realize I’m their captain, right? 

I could very well be with Jack right now. He could be looking over my shoulder

Clementine Sandoval 

please i’m not an amateur 

luke already told me he dumped jack at amelie’s 

what are you doing the rest of the day?

Nico Hischier 

Sitting on my coach and staring at the wall waiting for my beautiful girlfriend to come by after she takes her nap  

Clementine Sandoval 

whipped 

any chance i can come by earlier and nap at yours? didn’t know you guys had an earlier skate 

Nico Hischier 

Door will be unlocked ❤️

Clementine Sandoval

???? your door has a code 

but thanks 🩵🩵 i’ll come by after i eat

After her food is cooked thoroughly, she eats quickly, flicking through emails on her laptop. She can hear a movie playing through Luke’s laptop in his room and murmured voices through the door. As she’s cleaning up and getting ready to head out, she debates on whether she should tell Luke or not. She probably should, because then he’ll start worrying, which is something that she’s noticed all the brothers have done more as they’ve gotten older. 

“Luke!” She calls, “I’m heading out.”

“Okay,” she hears his voice through his door. “Are you coming back for dinner?”

“Not sure yet. I’ll text you.”

“Okay!”

Clementine chuckles before grabbing her stuff and closing the front door behind herself. 

Nico snorts as she’s retelling what happened, sipping on a cup of coffee. Clementine’s rambling to the max, sitting up on his kitchen counter and swinging her legs, not stopping even as Nico slips himself inbetween them and plants his hands on her thighs. 

Suddenly, she trails off with a yawn. He chuckles softly before engulfing her in a hug, kissing her neck softly. “Couch or bed?” 

“You don’t like just lounging on your bed.”

“But it’s your nap time and you like my bed.”

She plays with his hair, placing her cup of coffee down carefully. “Couch.”

“Okay,” he hums, helping her off the counter. “Is there anything I need to wake you up for later?”

“I made some sort of promise a few days ago that I’d cook Jack and Luke dinner, and I feel bad that I haven’t done it yet.”

“They can come over here and we can both cook them something.”

“You have groceries in your fridge?”

He gives her a look as she giggles. He tosses a blanket over her. “Sleep before you start getting sassier on me.”

Clementine hums, eyes already drooping. She tugs at his shirt as he’s about to leave. “Stay.”

“Baby-”

“Just until I fall asleep,” she grins as he climbs in, immediately burying her head into his chest as his arm wraps around her. She hums, eyes already shut. “I love you,” she murmurs against the cotton of his shirt.

She feels the gentlest kiss on her forehead before drifting off to sleep.

…..

Clementine loves being able to switch her brain during a live hockey game. Unless she gets a call from anyone at the hospital — which hasn’t happened yet — any good hockey game can turn her often overtired and overstimulated brain off. 

So when Sarah, one of the staffers she frequently runs into at Devils games, comes up to her row, Clementine’s immediately standing up. “Sarah? What are you doing up here?”

“Can you come with me for a second?” At Clementine’s concerned stare, Sarah continues quickly. “Nothing bad! Just want your help on something medical related.” 

“Medical related?” Clementine stands up and starts following Sarah. 

“One of the kids in the Islanders box hurt herself and I’m pretty sure it’s just a sprained ankle, but you work with kids so I figured you could give another opinion and calm her down, maybe? If you don’t mind, of course.”

Clementine breathes out a sigh of relief. This she can handle. “I don’t mind at all. Jesus, Sarah. I thought it was something more serious.”

Sarah grimaces. “Sorry. Again, I just want a second opinion. I’m sorry to interrupt you watching the-”

“I get it. And hey, I’ve watched dozens of games by now.” They arrive at the visitor’s suite and somehow, Clementine feels immediately at home even though there’s an adorable blonde girl crying on the floor with her mother kneeling down next to her. 

Clementine bends down and sits on the back of her heels. “Hi cutie. My name is Clementine. I’m here to help you, okay?” The mom, who is drop dead gorgeous, mutters some encouraging words to her daughter. “Can you tell me what happened, sweetie?”

Inbetween hiccups, the young girl explains that she was running around because her dad had just scored a goal but had run into a chair and had fallen backwards and now her ankle really hurts and if it’s broken she won’t get to play with her friends at recess. Clementine softly shushes her and calms her down before asking if she can take a look. The young girl nods and Clementine gingerly takes her ankle, rolling up her jeans. She speaks to the girl softly (who Clementine learns is named Winnie), asking about who she’s here to see and the game and anything else to keep her distracted while she does her routine checks. 

Clementine taps her ankle. “Well, good news, Winnie. It’s only swollen, which won’t require going to the hospital. I’m just gonna wrap it up for you and get you some ice to keep on it, okay? And lots of rest, which means no running around for a bit.” She nods thankfully at Sarah, who runs to grab some bandages and an ice pack. 

“Does that mean I get to watch Disney all day tomorrow?” Winnie asks. 

Clementine laughs. “That’s gonna be a decision your mama has to make.” She turns to the gorgeous blonde again with a smile. “Everything’s all fine. Just lots of rest and ice and she’ll be good in no time. You can give her children’s motrin if she complains that it hurts too much, but it shouldn’t if she isn’t moving it around.”

“Thank you so much,” she says gratefully, putting her hand out. “I’m Sydney. It’s nice to meet you. I’m really sorry for interrupting your game.”

Clementine waves her away. “It’s no problem at all. I’ve seen a bunch of these, so I’m not too pressed.”

“Are you a doctor?”

“Not yet technically. I’m in my second year of residency with pediatrics and ER. But I promise I know what I’m doing.”

“Oh, no! I trust you, don’t worry. You have a very calming presence.”

“Well, your daughter is super sweet. So I’m sure you have a lot to do with that.”

Sydney beams. “You’re so sweet! Thank you.” 

“Who are you here for?”

“Number 17. Matt Martin. He’s my husband. How about you?”

Clementine chuckles, as Sarah comes back with the supplies and Clementine wraps the bandage around Winnie’s ankle. “Depends who you ask.”

“Oh?”

“Well, I grew up with Luke and Jack. 43 and 86. But I’m dating Nico. Number 13.”

“That’s the captain, right?”

“It is.” 

Clementine’s surprise must show through her voice because Sydney laughs. “Honestly, I don’t know why I know that. I blame my past journalist self who picks up on details quickly. Or the Devils and Islanders being in the same division.”

“That’s completely fair. I feel like I know too much about hockey for someone who never played.”

“It’s an added layer when we choose who we surround ourselves with, right?” Sydney says and Clementine nods with a smile. “Where are you doing your residency?”

“I’m mainly at NYC Health and Hospitals / Bellevue. First and 28th.”

“Do you live in the city?”

“Oh, no. Though that’s probably smarter, right?” They both laugh. “No, I live with Jack and Luke in Hoboken. They kinda begged, and it saves me money, and I don’t mind the commute.”

Sydney looks around for Winnie, who’s hanging out with one of the other Isles wives and is occupied. “Am I keeping you from someone? Thank you again for all your help.”

“No, not at all! Decided to come out solo tonight.”

Sydney then nods to two empty seats against the glass. “Come sit with me?”

Clementine just smiles and follows her to the seat as Winnie runs at her legs. The two women laugh as Clementine picks her up and sits her on her hip. 

She leaves that night with a new number in her phone. Jack whines about her “befriending the enemy” as Luke cackles. Nico just grins, because he knows what it’s like to be captivated by her energy instantly. 

*****

Clementine’s reading on Nico’s couch when she hears him groan loudly from the kitchen. When she doesn’t hear an explanation, she finishes the sentence and looks up. 

“Everything okay?” 

“No,” he grumbles, walking back in and typing something rapidly on his phone. “The rookies and the young guys went out and got way too drunk and called me by accident. I literally couldn’t understand more than two words of what Shea was saying.” 

“How are they getting home?” 

Nico sighs and picks up his keys. “I’m getting them. I don’t trust them to not puke all over an Uber right now.” 

“But you trust them to not puke in your car?”

“I’ll tell them to aim out the window.” 

Clementine snorts, standing up. “You drank earlier. I’ll drive.” 

Nico blinks. “I didn’t drink that much.” 

“Don’t care. I’m driving. How many of them are there?” 

Nico looks at his phone, presumably his texts, to confirm. “Five. But apparently Luke called Jack so he’s coming too.” Nico laughs, reading another text. “And Amelie. Must be a similar vibe at the Hughes apartment tonight.” 

“It was. Amelie told me they were having a chill date night too.” She quickly goes to Nico’s room to toss on one of his Devils sweatshirts. She comes back out and sticks her hand out as Nico slips on his shoes. “Keys. And grab a few trash bags, please.”  

Nico obeys before they’re both out the door, his hand naturally brushing against her back as they wait for the elevator. “I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“All of this.”

She snorts as the elevators doors shut. “Don’t need to apologize for your teammates acting their age.”

“Yeah, but it’s not your responsibility to deal with that.”

“It’s yours though.”

He furrows his eyebrows. “I’m not following.”

She rises on her tiptoes to kiss him, to which he responds with enthusiasm despite his confusion. “Your boys, my boys, no?” She murmurs against his lips, letting him steal two more kisses. “I’m dating you. You’re the captain of an NHL team. You look out for the guys. Therefore, so do I.”

Nico shakes his head with a fond smile as the elevator doors open and he shuffles them both to the garage, his hands steadily on her hips. “You’re the best, you know that?”

“Been told that once or twice in my life,” she dodges his pokes as they walk to the car. 

It only takes them 15 minutes before they’re in front of a bar. Nico pulls in right next to Jack’s car and Clementine laughs as all four of them get out of their cars at the same time. One look at Amelie tells her that she probably was dragged out of bed to come here.

She nods at the younger girl as they trail behind their boyfriends walking into the bar. “Chauffeur?” 

Amelie smiles wryly, handing her a few bottles of water for whoever is coming in Nico’s car. “No. I’m the one who actually opened the wine tonight. But I don’t trust Jack to wrangle these guys by himself. Also, he promised he’d get me lunch from my favorite place tomorrow before I have to drive to Long Island.”

Clementine whistles. “Good girlfriend you are.”

Amelie tosses an arm around Clementine’s shoulders, which makes the latter grin. Amelie had been a bit shyer when they met at the start of the season, but she likes to think she’s cracked the photographer’s exterior a bit. They walk into the bar and just follow the guys, who quickly find their teammates. Clementine only raises an eyebrow as Seamus stumbles to give Nico a hug, almost taking out Simon in the process, who looks like he’s about to either fall asleep or throw up any minute. Jack is subtly steering glasses of alcohol away from Alex as he’s chatting away to Luke. Clementine’s half convinced he’s speaking Swedish and Luke’s too drunk to realize. She scans the bar to find the last straggler and chuckles when she sees Nico (little Nico, she affectionately calls him) come out of the bathroom. He brightens up when he sees the older girl and Clementine laughs loudly as he almost falls into her arms. 

She, Nico, Jack and Amelie corral everyone into the two cars — Luke, Alex and Nico riding with Jack and Amelie and Seamus and Simon with Clementine and Nico, all purely based on proximity. Clementine gives both Amelie and Jack hugs before climbing into the drivers seat. She gives Seamus and Simon each bottles of water as she starts the engine. 

“Drink. The whole thing. Both of you.” She commands. She peeks through the rearview mirror to make sure they do. 

“I’m waiting for the lecture, Mrs. Cap.” Seamus groans out.

Clementine snorts. “No lecture from me. But you guys do remember that you have a team meeting tomorrow, do you?”

“How do you know that?” 

Nico snorts as an answer as Clementine rolls her eyes. “How much did you guys have?”

“I stopped counting after the third round of shots,” Seamus says. Simon might have fallen asleep for all she knows.  

“And who bought that round?” Nico asks. 

“Luke,” Seamus and Clementine say simultaneously. She hears Simon groan, so he’s not asleep. Nico just chuckles. 

It only takes 30 minutes to get them both safely home and to get back to Nico’s apartment. It’s almost 2 a.m. by the time they get back. Clementine gets comfortable fast, with Nico’s body pressed up against hers. The last conscious thought she has before drifting off to sleep is that she wants to do this with him for the rest of her life. 

The first thing she hears when she wakes up is a bunch of male voices. She squints at her phone. 10:27 a.m. Team meeting started at 10. She yawns and rolls out of bed, washing her face and brushing her teeth before deciding to go fix up a quick breakfast for herself before locking herself in Nico’s room so the team can do whatever they do during team meetings. 

The voices all halt as she nears the living room. Any other situation she would be a bit embarrassed perhaps, but frankly, they all know and should’ve expected this. And they’re in her apartment. Or Nico’s. But it also might as well be ours. 

She offers a lazy salute. “Morning boys.” A chorus of greetings echoes and Clementine chuckles. “Don’t mind me. I’ll be out of your hair in a second.”

“You can stay,” Nico says softly with a smile from where he’s standing behind the couch. She just waves him off, pours out a cup of coffee, quickly fixes herself some hummus toast with feta on top and slips back into his room. 

She sets her food down carefully on the bedside table and eats while scrolling through her email and social media. She even puts her headphones in so she’s not tempted to listen to the guys through the wall.

It’s about a half an hour later when she hears a faint knock on the door. She calls out a “come in” and takes out her Airpods with a smile when Nico peeks his head in.

“Hi Schatz.”

“Hey. What’s up?”

“The boys wanna say hi,” she opens her mouth to protest but he beats to her to it. “We’re pretty much done. Pizza’s coming any minute so we’re just chilling out now.”

Clementine grabs her empty plate and mug, rising up to her toes to press a kiss on his cheek. “Breaking the diet?”

“We just won a tough back to back. We deserve it.”

“Sure you do,” she chuckles as he playfully swats her butt. They walk back out into the living room together and she rolls her eyes as everyone cheers. Nico heads back to the living room as she heads into the kitchen to start another pot of coffee, politely nudging Dawson and Dougie out of her way. 

Nico’s apartment is spacious, but twenty plus hockey players all crowding around make it feel much smaller than normal. Clementine decides to swing herself on top of the counter to chat with Luke and John, mostly content with listening to them talk.

When she hears a chorus of laughter, she turns to the living room to see what’s going on to already see quite a few of the guys looking at her. She raises an eyebrow at Nico, who she swears has a slight blush painting his cheeks. But he doesn’t shy away and beams at her instead. With some boldness, she bounces over to him, squeezing in beside him on the couch. He leans into her touch automatically. She wonders if this is a side of their captain his team hasn’t seen much before. 

That last thought has her hesitant for a second, but as if Nico can sense it, he takes her hand off his shoulder and kisses the back of it before going back to a previous conversation with Jesper. Her hand remains in his. She catches Timo’s close-lipped smile and Nate’s visible delight. Clementine just sends them a wink before leaning into Nico’s side. 

Without missing a beat in laughing at something Jesper says, Nico places a kiss in her hair. 

(Later, as the team is starting to filter out of Nico’s apartment, Jonas pulls him aside. Nico is immediately on high alert when Jonas decidedly switches to their native language. They don’t do that often during the season.

“She’s great. Clementine,” Jonas starts.

Nico’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “Yeah? You think so?”

“Yeah,” they both look over to the other side of the living room, where she’s in the midst of a playful debate about something with Jack and Jesper. Though from the way she punches Jack in the arm, maybe it’s not so playful. “I know we met at the end of last season, but I wanted to give it some time. She’s weirdly perfect for you.”

“Spit it out, Jonas,” Nico stares at him. 

Jonas just stares back for a bit before letting out a small chuckle. “I’m really happy for you, truly. You deserve someone like her.”

“Like her?”

“Yeah. Someone smart, beautiful and who will be just as all in as you are.” 

Nico looks down at his feet, heat rising up his neck all of a sudden. “She’s the best, really. Kinda keeps me sane without even trying.”

“That’s all you can ask for from a partner,” Jonas pats his shoulder once before calling out a goodbye to everyone. 

Clementine rushes over to give Jonas a quick goodbye hug. Nico feels himself falling and not wanting anyone to catch him.)

…..

The universe is on their side for the 10 year anniversary of Miguel’s death, with the Canucks scheduled to play in town the day after. Ellen, Jim, Quinn, Jack, Amelie, Luke, Maeve, Clementine and Nico all go out to brunch on New Year’s Day, before heading to the cemetery. 

They’re all bundled up as they lay out a few blankets, lay down their flowers and some of Miguel’s favorite food and snacks. The cemetery is quiet, but it’s quickly filled with everyone’s laughter as they share their favorite memories and reminisce. Quite a few tears are shed and the tissue box is passed around often. 

When they’re about to leave, everyone gets their individual moments by his tombstone to pay their last respects. Clementine and Maeve let the Hughes’s go first, hands intertwined with each other. Then, Clementine and Maeve step up and the young woman swallows, her mom’s head falling on her shoulder. With one last squeeze, Maeve steps back and gently ushers Nico to stand next to his girlfriend despite his gentle protests. 

The second she feels Nico’s arm draping across her back, Clementine lets out a sob as she buries part of her face into his jacket. It’s not a sad sob, but it’s not a happy one. She’s happy he’s here with her. She wishes her dad could meet him and love him as much as she knows he would. 

Once they reach the bottom of the hill, Quinn reaches out to squeeze her hand. She keeps her right hand in his as Nico’s pressed against her left side. She stares ahead at her mother pressed between Ellen and Jim with Jack, Amelie and Luke right behind them in a similar embrace.

The birds are chirping. The sound of the wind is made even more noticeable as it whistles through the leaves. The sun is shining, not a single cloud in the sky.

Clementine feels peace settle into her heart.

[sunblchdfly]

four times rhett abbott has said “i love you”.

pairing: rhett abbott x reader

warnings: suggestive, fluff, not proof-read.

a/n: very loosely based on the song and music video oklahoma smokeshow by zach bryan. i reeaallly want to elaborate on rhett picking you up after a date gone wrong. might write that sometime in the future.

august 27, 2017

you two lay in the field of wildflowers soaking up the last of the summer sun. it was late august, and the leaves didn’t stick around long after that. your eyes were closed, thinking of nothing but the summer breeze and the itchy grass beneath you. rhett lay next to you, watching you. he took you in. the way the golden sun hit your face, the way your hair sprawled out under you, the way your eyes squint in the sun, even the way your hands were still clasped around the flowers you’d picked.

“i love you.” he whispered, barely audible. he didn’t mean to say it…it just slipped out. he couldn’t help it. you just looked so. beautiful.

“did you say something?” you turned to him, propping yourself up on your arm.

“nothing. i said nothing.” rhett replied, putting on his brightest smile.

—

september 16, 2018

you ran out of the bar, blinded by your own tears. you see the blur of rhetts truck just a few feet away from you. you’d called him when your date went absolutely horrible. not only was your date drunk when you’d arrived, but he tried feeling you up. multiple times.

ring, ring, ring! was all you could hear over the loud laughter and music.

“hello?” you heard over the other end. “Rhett,” you cried out. “can you please come get me? I’m at Brock’s.”

“whoa, hey, hey, what happened?” he asked, concern lacing his voice.

“i-i don’t wanna-i can’t- rhett please, can you come get me?” you said, choking on a sob.

“im on my way, do you want me to stay on the phone with you?” he asked.

“yes.” was all you could mewl out. you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything else. you just cried. rhett felt his stomach churn. he couldn’t stand when you were upset, it made him feel sick to his stomach.

“i’m sorry.” was the first thing you said when you got in.

“why are you sorry? hey,” he said calmly as he took your hand. “look at me. what happened?” he looked at you anxiously. a million things were going through his head right now, but all he could focus on was if you were hurt.

“please, just drive.” you whispered. your voice was broken and hoarse from all of the crying.

rhett said nothing. it was clear you didn’t want to talk about whatever had happened to you. he knew that in time you would come to him. you always did.

“It’ll be okay, I lo-.” he said, and stopped himself. He’s not sure you heard, anyway. you were lost in your own thoughts as you rested your head against the window watching the bar disappear in the distance.

—

march 7, 2019

your post high haze still clouded your mind. you guys have been doing this for a few months now, but it always ended with you waking up to a cold, unsolicited bed. it wasn’t like rhett to stay, usually he’d already be gone by now. yet, you and rhett lay in the twisted linen. he watched you, his arm under you, as you caught your breath. you’d made the sweetest sounds for him. rhett had taken a mental note of every moan, whimper, and cry. he’s had years to think of ways to undo you, to make you fall apart at his fingertips. he’s still trying fathom how it’s become his reality now.

you waited for him to say something. your mind was racing, you don’t know if you’d just ruined the only true friendship you’ve ever had or-

“i love you. i’m in love with you.” rhett stumbled over his words. “ever since i’ve known you. you’re it for me.”

he waited for a response. you looked at him and brought your hand up the his cheek, he automatically leaned into your touch.

“you don’t have to say anythin-“ he tried to get out, but you interrupted.

“be quiet, cowboy. i love you too.” you said. he stared at you for another minute before he pulled you closer to him and pressed his lips to yours.

—

July 2, 2022

rhett winces at your touch. his head was on fire. he took a nasty fall at the latest rodeo. so, here you are at 1am patching up your husband.

“it’s not even that bad.” rhett cringed as soon as the words came out of his mouth. it was a complete and total lie. it hurt him to even speak.

You shot him a glare.

the pale moonlight painted his face through the window. rhett groaned as he tried to get into a more comfortable position.

“okay, i’m done.” you said, helping him up after you’ve finished the last bandage.

“fuck,” he muttered under his breath. “thank you, baby.” even after all of this time, his southern drawl still made your stomach do flips. his accent became thicker by every second he got more tired.

you went to go clean up the first aid kit you had laying out, but rhett had other plans. he pulled you next to him, wincing as he did so. you couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped out.

“and what do you think you’re doing?” you asked, a small grin adorning your face.

“need you,” was all he muttered, face buried in your neck, nipping at the delicate skin. his fingers danced around the waistband of your pajama shorts. your hand found the back of his head. you ran your hands through his chestnut locks and gave a little tug. you hummed, letting yourself feel the bliss of your lover.

“we can’t.” you said in a defeated tone. “when you’re better, i promise you can have me anyway you’d like,” you smiled and lifted his head from your neck. you ran your thumb across his bottom lip. “or I’ll have you, cowboy.” you smirked.

rhett looked at you like you were the only person in the world. you were, truly. to him you were everything. his night and his day.

“god, i love you.”

———

a/n: please let me know of any typos <3

[skipper1331]

Mini Swiftie // Jessie Fleming

a/n: based off this request. Hope you like it.

JFlem✔️

i miss you :(

see you tonight? x

you smiled at your phone, pressing the icon to call your girl. Leaving the room where your team mates were sat, watching a movie while you went down to the hotel lobby. "Hey" you said as she accepted your call, "hello, my girl" the freckled girl whispered, slipping out of her hotel room. "How was your day?"

Canada and the Uswnt would face each other at the weekend in a friendly but staying away from your lover was awful. In London you lived together, slept next to each other every day and now not doing so was something neither of you liked. But at least due to the friendly, your teams were in the same town.

One evening, the two of you found a little bench that was located halfway to each of your hotels. It became your spot. "Can i see you tonight?" she repeated her text question "yeah, same time, same place?"

"Yeah"

As you were about to say someting when you saw a glimpse of a small brunette. Kelley. "Gotta go!" Immediately, you ended the call.

You

sorry, Kelley is on her way

see you later x

"Mini Swiftie! We‘re watching your favorite movie and you‘re not there" the veteran ruffled through your hair. Your hands went back in your hair to straighten it. "Who did you talk to lover?" the lover was in the same sing-song voice as your sister performed it, "kelley, you need to stop with these references", you stood up as she dramatically clutched her heart, "don’t blame, love made me crazy" you rolled your eyes, walking to the elevators.

Ever since you made your debut for the senior team, the team loved to tease you with Taylor Swift song lyrics. You get it, you‘re a Swift but it‘s not your fault that she was your older sister, you loved her and she was your biggest supporter (Jess would fight her because according to her, she‘s your number one fan) but sometimes it was heavingly annoying.

"Come on, Mini Swiftie, you didn‘t answer my question!" she ran after you, jumping in the elevator just in time. "My mom" you replied nonchalantly, hoping she wouldn‘t realize that you‘re lying.

Nobody knew about you and the canadian girl and it should stay that way. Compared to your sister, you didn't like the stage. Yes, you played football on a world stage, you became a world champion in 2019, but the comparison to a sold-out stadium and a sold-out Taylor concert was something different. You only got to know peace through the Canadian woman who showed you how it was possible to live in peace despite the fact that you were in the public eye. You loved her for that, you loved her for so many reasons.

-

Midnight couldn‘t come fast enough. Mal was in a deep slumber already as you were wide awake. Mal and you roomed together all the time, you were one of the og-youngsters, gave your debut together and were great friends so it became a common thing. The forward was always in a deep sleep, you could scream next to her and she wouldn't notice, it made things a lot easier to sneak out of the room and sneak in later in the night without getting caught.

20 minutes before midnight, you got up, dressed yourself in a hoodie and some shorts. Thankfully, the weather wasn‘t cold or rainy. You sneaked out of the room and hotel, walking down the streets to your spot.

"Hi, baby" you greeted your girl as you took a seat beside her, your lips pressing against her cheek. "Gimme a real kiss" the canadian whined, chuckling at her antics, "so needy" nonetheless you gave her the sweet kiss she deserved.

-

The following days, you met up with Jess at the same time and same place. During the day you hadn’t had much free time so midnight was perfect to update on how your day was and the missing kisses, something important for the both of you.

"Do you think Mini Swiftie is acting weird?" Sonnett asked her friends, looking at you as you smiled at your phone (texting with Jessie) "how come?" Alex asked. Trying to explain what Sonnett meant, Christen cut her attempt short, "give her a rest, she‘s young" you didn‘t hear Christen protect you but if you had, you would‘ve been very thankful. The defender took the matters in her own hands as she looked at Kelley and Alex. They shared a look before they nodded.

-

"Today was awful" you grumbled as you flopped down next to your girlfriend, ready to rest your head on her chest. "What happened, love?" lovingly, she scartched through your hair, a method to calm you down. "Sonny and Kelley didn‘t leave my side all day long and when I said something they replied with lyrics"

"Oh my girl, you have to tell them If you don‘t like it" her voice was quiet, understanding. "Jess, you know how they are" the midfielder sighed, she knew exactly how they were, "can you just hold me?"

You loved your team mates to death but sometimes they‘re just too much. You had no problem with their teasing, you‘re proud to call yourself a Swift and you didn‘t care If they called you Mini Swiftie but if they don’t give real answer after every spoken sentence of you, only a lyric, it made you angry. That way you couldn't have a real conversation with them and you didn‘t want to either. How do they even come up with (you hate to admit that) a perfect song line in such a short time slot?

"Anything, baby" your girlfriend pulled you closer as she continued to massage your scalp.

-

"Hey, was Y/n with you guys last night?" Mal asked the group. "No, why?" came the reply from the Room Morgan-O‘Hara, Press-Heath, Lavelle-Mewis and Sonnett-Horan. "Weird" your room mate mumbled. Last night, she drank a cup of coffee before going to bed which was why she had to get up 3 times during the night to go to the bathroom.

The first time was shortly after midnight - your bed empty. She thought you were in the bathroom so she waited, no light was on, you weren‘t there.

The second time was around 2am tending towards 3am - your bed still empty.

The last time she went to the bathroom was around 5am, you were soundfully asleep in your bed.

The big question: where had you been?

"Interesting. She's hiding something from us." Kelley had a mischief smile on her face while clapping her hands together. "Detectives, let‘s go!"

Hard to believe but everyone agreed to Kelley's plan.

-

"Good night" Mal whispered in to the dark room, ready to fake her sleep. Her back was facing you while you laid on your bed, staring at the ceiling. Mal‘s phone was hidden under her pillow as your team mates waited for a signal. Sonny had even created a groupchat 'Mission: Swift' with Tobin, Chris, Alex, Kelley, Mal, Rose, Sam and Lindsey.

20 minutes before midnight you checked If Mallory was asleep, "Mal, are you up?" she didn‘t answer you - in your eyes she was in her deep slumber. You got out of your pyjama and dressed into the same outfit as usual. The forward could only assume what you did, her eyes closed.

When she heard the door open and shut, she grabbed her phone and texted.

Mal

suspect left the room.

Team Kellex and Preath were down in the lobby, Chris and Tobin sitting at the bar while Kelley and Alex sat in the armchairs which were not in your sight. The other group members were still in their rooms, waiting for the next sign.

Kelley

down.

As soon as they saw Kelley‘s text, everyone sprinted out of their rooms, down the stairs to join the rest of the group. "She went this way" Alex whispered as they arrived, Chris and Tobin already by their sides.

They kept enough distance from you as they followed you yet always had an eye on you. Every once in a while you turned around but didn't see anyone so you just kept walking like nothing happened, maybe your mind was messing with you.

The team felt like fbi agents, working on an undercover case or like they‘re in a movie, either way it was exciting.

"My love, hello" you sat down next to her, giving her a kiss.

"Did she- did she just-" Sonnett started, completely shocked.

"..kiss someone?" Rose ended the question, eyes wide.

Everyone‘s mouth was agape, mini swiftie with a girlfriend? What? "I didn‘t expect that" the tall blonde said, looking at her friends.

"Yeah, yeah, but who is she?" Lindsey chipped in, her curiosity on high-levels.

Tobin was the first to approach you and the mysterious girl by your side, Chris, Kelley and Alex close behind, Mal, Rose, Sam, Sonny and Lindsey following. Tobin scoffed, clearing her throat. It made you turn around, your eyes wide as you stood up, pulling Jessie behind you. The first who opened her mouth was Kelley though, who would‘ve thought. "What‘s this?" Kelley asked, her tone strict, kind of like a mom. The others gathered around you, glaring a the girl behind you "Baby Canada!" Tobin said, walking around the bench. "H- Hi" the canadian gave a little wave, shaking slightly as all the women stared at her. "So?" the small but scary brunette asked, she wanted an answer, everybody wanted. You looked at your girlfriend, you didn't want to tell them anything she wasn‘t comfortable with. "We saw you kiss so don‘t lie to us" Alex added. As Jess nodded with a reassuring smile, you turned back to your team mates "Jessie is my girlfriend. We‘re a couple" you squeezed her hand for your own sake. "Well, well, well, baby Canada" Kelley joined Tobin, intimidating the freckled girl "do we have to give you the shovel talk?" It was Alex who was talking, taking some steps to stand next to Kelley "Stop it guys" you didn‘t like how that turned out at all, you had a feeling that your girlfriend was scared, not that she wouldn‘t face them but it was dark and late and 9 women were just to much. "Go back to the hotel, we‘ll talk in the morning" you said about to walk away with Jess. "What‘re you gonna do?" Rose asked.

"I will walk her to her hotel"

"She‘s old enough to walk alone!" you glared at Kelley. "I don‘t care, I’ll walk her back to the hotel and then go back to ours."

"Well then we‘re all gonna bring her, we won‘t let you walk on your own" Christen added, not liking the feeling to let you walk home alone. She liked that you felt the same way with Jess walking alone.

"Fine"

Jessie and you walked ahead of them as they trailed behind you, gushing over the new information they had about their Mini Swiftie. "I‘m so sorry" you murmured while you pulled her into you, your arm around her shoulders as hers went around your mid section. "It‘s fine, they love you"

"They‘re annoying" you grumbled.

The rest of the walk was spent in silence, you ignored your friends, your only focus: the midfielder in your arms. As you arrived at the hotel, Kelley instantly opened her mouth again "Now say bye, we all want to sleep" rolling your eyes, you looked at your girl, smiling fondly. You were so in love with her. "Good night, my love. Sweet dreams" you pushed your lips against her forehead, not giving her a real kiss as your team mates stared at you. "Good night, baby" she gave your cheek a peck, understanding why you didn‘t give her the proper good night kiss like usual.

You watched her as she entered the hotel, waiting till she wasn‘t in sight anymore before you turned around.

"Tell us everything, Mini Swiftie"

————————

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

Pinned FAQ

How do I request a card?

You can request up to 3 cards for free during openaskbox events! During those, the /ask inbox opens up for a few hours, during which I try to write as many as I can live on twitch and post them on tumblr.

After the event is over and I close that inbox, there are still a BUNCH of leftover requests. This is how I fill the daily content queue, I use those up til it's empty again and then run another openaskbox.

On Sundays at 3pm EST I write all 28 cards due to go up for the week from that pool of leftover asks live on twitch and then queue them to go up after stream

What if I don't wanna wait?

If you'd like to throw a bit of cash around instead of waiting, you can buy via the etsy listing or you can tune in to those^ Saturday livestreams, there's a variety of ways to donate to get cards written for you on the spot

How do I buy the card I've requested?

The etsy listing is available here! Please remember to include in the notes of the purchase which card(s) you want to buy. If you'd like me to bundle together all the cards you've requested over a period of a few years, dm me here on the blog and I can quote you on a cheaper bundle price

Why did you answer all those asks, it messed up my dash?

Sorry about that! So to keep all of that ^ organized, at the end of the month, I answer about 112-140 leftover asks in order to record them to a proper "to-write document"

It helps me keep organized, it allows me to easily search for spelling issues, and it gets a few eyeballs on the request in case someone tries to slip an obscure slur into their request that I'm not cool with writing (it has happened)

Lots of the regulars are used to this dash nonsense, but there are folks who want to avoid it entirely. If you're on mobile I'd just recommend unfollowing for a while, but if you're on desktop, you can blacklist the tag "added to notepad" and go to xkit to tick the "fully hide blocked tags" option so it clears up your dash

Wait I thought requests were closed, why can I still send things?

That's because requests use /ask, but /submit is always open because it's for YOUR calligraphy, pet photos, fanart of man... etc. Requests are NOT open when it's not openaskbox day but feel free to send me cool shit YOU made anytime

Wait you have a twitch, do you do anything other than calligraphy?

I try! my schedule at work (restaurant) varies week to week so I try my best to stream whenever I've got free time to, nothing's really planned out though

What are your regular writing tools and paper?

I mainly just use speedball nibs, specifically the c-series (c-0 through c-4) because they're angled flat nibs that let me do most blackletter hands I write. I have a supply of leonardt thin tips for detailing and illustrating

As for paper, the cards you see on the daily are on plain index cue cards I buy from staples. When commissioned/doing larger pieces, I work with a variety of paper, including a 32 lb xerox paper that has juuuust a perfect amount of lamination that avoids ink feathering, black paper that I bought a hundred sheets of in 2019 and I no longer remember the label, and a BOATLOAD of southworth's ivory parchment paper at both 32 and 64 lb weights.

[yourstingrey]

“What are you wearing…?”

Description: you forget about laundry day and are forced with the tough decision of going out in your most embarrassing pajamas set in front of a certain Hermes camp counselor

A/N: I haven't written a fic since uh 2019…? So my writing is a bit rusty but I wanted to try to get back into it so hopefully you all don't think this is too bad😭😭😭 The pajamas are inspired from this OW2 character's outfit but obvi changed for the fic! Anywho if you do like this hopefully it'll inspire me to write even more little fics but thank you for reading if you choose to do so and I hope you're having a wonderful day/evening/night!!

wc:1009

Pairings: Athena!reader x Luke Castellan

Warnings!: fluff pretty much and the reader getting teased

You don't even know how you could have forgotten it was an honest mistake anyone could make but certainly not as embarrassing for everyone else. You had woken up just like any other day yawning not truly ready to get up for the day but at camp half blood unless you're a child of Hypnos sleeping in isn't the smartest.

As you stretch out and then slip your feet into your slippers you finally make that last stumble out of bed. Walking up to my dresser and open up the drawer noticing how barren it is so much so a cartoon mouth might as well fly out. I turned around to march up to my laundry hamper, deciding it better to re-wear something this once than to simply have nothing else until I noticed it was missing from its key spot. 

I looked up to see if any of my siblings were in the room and saw my sister, Bea “Hey uh Bea have you seen my laundry hamper? I can't remember where I put it…” I say to her with sleepy confusion laced into my voice “Oh yeah well it's laundry day and you were sleeping for a while so Annabeth decided to take yours and do it for you!” Bea explained, “So all my clothes are in the wash.” “Oh yeah sorry is that a bad thing I mean I can't say I won't judge you if you wanna be those people who don't bathe or anything..” Bea says with an astute tone to her voice and a clear grimace on her face “Um no no it's fine…” I replied under my breath.

I walked back to my drawer deliberating between just going out in my PJs or trying to squeeze into some old t-shirt from my first years at camp. I think we all know what I picked but I did decide if I'm going to wear my PJs out I can still wear my normal shoes, lacing up my sneakers I head out marching my way to the mess hall. 

I walk quietly the cold crisp camp air biting at my cheeks while I notice the cold I fail to notice the sound of a certain Hermes boy sneaking up on me before he lightly tugged on one of my braids “Woah woah where are you going girl” Luke said as he stepped in front of me.

 “Luke! I hate when you do that my hair takes a while y'know.” Luke irked me to no end yet I couldn't help but enjoy all our tiny arguments. “Hold on. What are you wearing…?”

 I look down at my outfit: a basic white sleep tank but then lavender pajama pants with owls and moons scattered about with a matching cardigan on top. “What are you jealous, Castellan?” “Very you think we can get matching sets, hm?” Luke replied with a smirk evident on his face.

“ Ugh Why have you come to pester me Luke” I huff out at him as I shift under his gaze “Just wanted to know if you’re still gonna come to training later” I almost freeze up a little as though it might be small Luke has usually never asked to see if I'm coming or not it's not like its hard for him to get another sparring partner. 

“Hmm I don't know.. These are my best fighting clothes. I think they actually might let me beat you this time butttt I already promised Annabeth to sneak out into the strawberry fields with her later..” As I say this I start to continue my walk to the mess hall not letting Luke interrupt my stride.

“Hey wait wait tell her you’ll go on a different day!” Luke jogs back over and starts walking with me “I don't know why you’re being so persistent this time you’ve never acted like this before!” I sass back to him “Oh what I just want to spare with my favorite Athena girl” “Well it's not gonna happen you can spare with me tomorrow okay” my voice holding a teasing tone.

I look at him and scrunch my nose at him as if he were the foul smell you would get if you ventured to the stables. But with that pause in my step, Luke took it to his advantage quickly snagging the owl sleeping mask off of my head and holding it up.

“Well, you'll just have to come by if you want this back then hmm little owl.” With him snatching my eye mask and this newly formed nickname my face glowed a light pink you would think I was a daughter of Aphrodite for a second “Wait what-” Luke already cut me off with a quick peck to my cheek stunning me again and starts to strut off before calling over his shoulder “Okay see you later then my little owl!”

I turn to watch him walk for a mere second before knocking some sense into myself and continuing my walk. I know I shouldn't go. I'm a daughter of Athena, I should be smarter than this but maybe Annabeth could wait a day. It's just fruit…  I think I just really need “my sleeping mask” back…

[blckbarbiedoll]

Million Dollar Baby

Chapter 3-Off My Game

CONTAINS NSFW CONTENT (p in v sex, oral fem receiving, kissing, etc.)

July 29, 2019-New Rochelle, New York

"Fix your face." You told your fiancé. "You did good today."

"I almost lost."

"But you didn't. That's all that matters." You kissed his cheek and finished your drink. "You need a shower."

"Wanna join me?"

"You have fun. I'm gonna stay down here and answer some emails."

"Okay. Don't work too hard."

He walked to the elevator and gave you a smirk as the doors closed in front of him. You opened your laptop and scrolled through the countless emails you had gotten in the past few hours.

"A cosmopolitan for you, ma'am." The waiter placed the drink down on the table next to you.

"I'm sorry, I didn't order this."

"It was a gift from that woman over there."

You looked over at her as she smirked and raised her glass. You shook your head and scoffed. You raised your glass back and took a sip. She got up and walked across the empty lobby until she got to you.

"Hi."

"Hi, Tashi."

"Patrick was good today."

"I know he was."

"He buy you that ring?"

"My mom's."

"I'm happy for you."

"No you're not."

"Wow." She chuckled and threw back the rest of her drink.

You followed suit and finished yours. You grabbed your stuff and stood up.

"Thanks for the drink."

"Hey."

"What?"

"Make sure Patrick stays away from Art. I don't need him getting distracted."

"I agree." You sternly said as you pressed the elevator button.

"Good." She stood next to you as the elevator opened. You both stepped in and looked straight ahead. "You look good."

"I know." You smirked slightly. "So do you."

"I know."

You both turned your heads to each other at the same time. She looked at you with a longing that you hadn't seen from her in years.

"Tashi..."

"Don't." She shook her head and looked at the floor.

You placed your hand under her chin and lifted her head up. Her caramel eyes flickered between yours and your lips. You began to pull away but she leaned forward and kissed you. Her soft lips felt like home against yours. But that comfort only lasted for a moment. The doors opened on her floor and you pulled back and caught your breath. She quickly walked out, leaving you alone with an empty feeling in your heart.

🎾SIX DAYS LATER🎾

The first game was almost over and Patrick was leading. You saw Tashi's hand ball up into a tight fist. It took everything you had not to reach over and hold it.

Art missed another hit and shook his head as it passed him.

"Game and first set, Zweig. Zweig leads. One set to love." The umpire announced.

Tashi got up and walked out of the stands. You looked at Patrick who was smirking. Then to Art who looked like a kicked puppy. You wanted to hug him and tell him it would be okay. But you knew it didn't work like that. Not anymore. Just when the set break was over, Tashi came back and sat next to you again. You slipped your shades on so that she wouldn't notice you glancing over at her.

"Time. Second set. Donaldson to serve."

🎾TWELVE YEARS EARLIER🎾

"I wish you were here." You said to Art over the phone as you walked to the plane. "I miss you guys."

"We miss you too."

"I'm gonna come out there as soon as I can."

"Hurry. I need a distraction from my math exam."

"I saw Patrick."

"How is he?"

"Living his dream."

"Yeah, I bet."

"I'm about to get on the plane, but I'll call you when I land."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

You hung up and slipped the phone into your pocket. You handed your luggage to one of the attendants and went up the steps.

"When are you gonna stop messing with that white boy?" Your mother asked as she sat next to you.

"I'm not messing with him. He's my boyfriend and I love him."

"He's a distraction, Ayesha. You've been a little off your game lately."

"I won the fucking open, didn't I? I won the Australian open."

"Yes, you did."

"I'm doing exactly what you wanted from me. I'm carrying on your legacy. So don't tell me I'm off my damn game. I'm on top of the fucking world."

Normally she would've snapped at you for talking to her like that. But right now, she couldn't have been more proud.

🎾

The California sun hit you as soon as you stepped out of the car. You slipped your sunglasses on and grabbed your bag out of the trunk. As you walked through the campus, heads turned in your direction. Even after all these year of people watching you, it was never something you fully got used to. 

"Who is it?" Art asked from the other side of the door after you knocked.

"Come find out."

You could hear him jump up out of his bed and rush to open the door. He had on a red t-shirt and some jeans. His curls were loose and messy, just how you liked them.

"You're here."

"I'm here."

He wrapped his arms around you and dragged you into his dorm. It wasn't messy by any means, but it wasn't as neat as you would've liked it to be. His red Stanford cap was sitting on the desk next to an open text book. His racket and tennis shoes were next to the door right by your feet. He had really made it his home.

"I missed you so much." He smiled as he set your bags down on the floor.

"I missed you too." You wrapped your arms around his neck. "I thought about you everyday."

"You did?" 

"Mhm." You kissed him softly as his hands traveled to your hips.

He led you to his bed and laid you down while he hovered over you.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered into your neck before he kissed it.

You whimpered as he softly sucked on your neck. His fingers trailed down your body and under your skirt. He softly rubbed your clit over your panties as he continued to mark your neck. 

"I need you." You whispered.

"I know, baby. Can I taste you first?"

"Yeah."

You grabbed the bottom of his shirt and lifted it up. He tossed it onto the floor as you followed suit with your top. 

"So fucking gorgeous."

You unclipped your bra and threw it down with the other clothes. His hands immediately went to your breasts. He leaned down to kiss them and he began to lightly suck on your nipple.

"Fuck." You sighed as you raked your fingers through his curls. 

You lifted your hips up when he went to pull down your skirt and panties. He lifted your legs up onto his shoulders and kissed the inside of your thighs. He pulled you closer and slowly licked your clit.

"Oh my god." You sighed and grabbed the bedsheets.

He switched between licking and sucking for a few minutes until you pulled him up.

"I need you inside me."

He smiled and pulled his jeans off. He tugged at the waistband of his boxers and threw them on the ground. His smile faltered and he cursed to himself.

"What?"

"I don't have any condoms."

You leaned over the edge of the bed and reached into your bag before pulling out a golden square.

"I picked some up on my way here."

"You're amazing."

He opened it and slowly slid it down his hardened shaft. He leaned down and kissed you lovingly as his hips found yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he slowly slid himself inside you.

"Fuck." He groaned into your neck. He began to move in and out of you at a slow pace.

"Art." You moaned while gripping his shoulders. 

"You feel so good, baby."

"Don't stop."

He began to pant as he picked up his pace. One of his hands slid down your body and found your clit. He began to circle it at the same pace of his thrusts.

"You're gonna make me cum, baby." You whispered in his ear.

"Me too." He grunted. "You're so fucking good."

His fingers sped up, causing you to hold his shoulders tighter as you got closer to your orgasm. You could feel him twitching inside you, about to let go.

"Cum with me." You pleaded.

He thrusted into you a few more times before he was releasing into the condom. You joined him soon after, throwing your head back against the pillow and moaning his name. 

"Holy shit." He gasped as he pulled out of you and lied down next to you.

You laid on his chest as you both caught your breaths, a light layer of sweat now covering you both.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

🎾

Later that day, you and Art had headed to the court to watch Tashi's match. You wanted to surprise her before the game started, so you snuck into the locker room and hid behind the open locker door. She closed it and jumped when she saw you.

"Hey, stranger."

"Ayesha!" She lunged forward and embraced you. "I can't believe you're here!"

"Believe it!"

"I missed you so much." She held your face in her hands and rubbed your cheeks with her thumbs.

"I missed you too." You placed your hands over hers. "So fucking much. We should do something after the match. Get dinner."

"Yeah, of course."

"Art and Patrick too. I heard he's in town."

"I don't know."

"What happened."

"I'll tell you later. I don't wanna think about him right now."

"Okay. I'll let you go. Good luck out there. Not that you need it."

You gave her a wave before heading back to your seat. Art was texting Patrick when both teams made their way onto the court.

"Is he not coming?" You asked.

"They had a bad fight or something. He seems pissed."

You tried not to worry about it as the match started.

"On court one, Maria Foster from Pepperdine, and from Stanford, Tashi Duncan."

You two clapped with the rest of the crowd as Tashi served. She had always been a ruthless player. But now, it seemed like there was something more fueling her. This anger that drove her to play harder. You were on the edge of your seat when she lunged forward to hit the ball. It seemed like everyone in the audience had the same reaction when it happened. Hundreds of gasps were followed by her painful cry as she fell to the ground.

"Tashi!" You and Art yelled as you ran down the stairs and down onto the court. You kneeled on the ground and lifted her head up to rest it on your knees. 

"It hurts! It hurts!"

"I know, I know." You whispered as you wiped her tears. "Just breathe. It's gonna be okay." 

You had taken her to the infirmary where they wrapped her knee until they could figure out another form of treatment. You and Art sat on each side of her, holding her hands. Footsteps approached the room and Patrick rushed in.

"Oh my god, Tashi."

"Out!" She yelled at him.

"I'm sorry, Tashi! Listen!"

"Out, Patrick!"

"Listen to me!"

"Patrick, get the fuck out!"

He gave up on trying to defend himself and walked out of the room.

"Let me talk to him." You said as you walked out after him. "Patrick."

"What?"

"What happened with you two?"

"What, she didn't tell you?"

"No."

"I come back after months of not seeing her, all she wants to do is talk about fucking tennis and how I suck at it."

"She's probably just tryna motivate you."

"No, she was being a narcissistic, judgmental, bitch."

"Don't talk about her like that."

"It's true. That's what she is. You're just too busy on her dick to notice." He walked down the hall and out the door.

[rippersz]

𝖰𝗎𝖾 𝖲𝖾𝗋𝖺, 𝖲𝖾𝗋𝖺

───※ ·❆· ※───

───※ ·❆· ※───

(An OC/Named Reader x Larissa Weems one-shot) (Bittersweet/angsty. Possible part 2 depending on feedback.)

Summary: Odette sends a letter and it ends up in the wrong hands.

───※ ·❆· ※───

‘January 11th, 2023

Odette,

I am terribly sorry to inform you that the letter you sent to a woman named Mirabelle did not end up in her hands. I believe the mail carriers fell short along the way and got it mixed up within my pile of documents; thus my wayward response to you. Considering the nature of your words (I must admit I read them - my actions were caused by split curiosity and confusion), I suggest you re-envelope and reseal your letter before sending it again. I have slipped it in with this one. And if you choose to listen to me, then we shall both hope your sentiments arrive to Mirabelle in a timely fashion with no surprise stops along the way. Until then, someone must tell her that she is a very lucky woman.

And that I am very sorry she broke your heart.

Happy New Year Odette. Be well, Larissa W.’

‘January 18th, 2023

Larissa,

Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness. I am far sorrier than you are. Obviously if I knew that was going to happen, I would not have let it. Okay that doesn’t make much sense, but I’m sure you know what I mean. I think. Hopefully? Anyway, thank you very much for sending the letter back. I gave myself some time to think it over and did as you suggested. New envelope, new seal, new everything. Except the perfume on the letter was different. Are you wearing Jean Paul Gaultier? It’s very nice. Mirabelle may appreciate the mix of scents (I’m wearing Marc Jacobs - Daisy), so at least she’ll get something out of it. The words, on the other hand, I’m not so sure. That ship sailed a long time ago - I’m just not the type to give up easily. That’s a big flaw, I think. Oh well. I guess rambling’s a flaw too. And here I am. Forgive me?

Thank you again. Happy New Year. Odette’

‘January 23rd, 2023

Dear Odette,

Please don’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault, as you know. And if I knew the letter did not concern me at all, I would not have read it. But, I’m sort of glad that I did. It was perhaps one of the best letters I’ve ever read in my entire life. Are you a writer, by any chance? If not, you should consider becoming one. The rambling could add a nice personal touch - it’s not as big a flaw as you think it is. It certainly introduced me to your keen sense of smell. Speaking of which, Daisy is wonderful. I may have a roll-on tube of that somewhere. Otherwise, you’re correct. La Belle was released in 2019, it has become my new personal favorite. Are you a perfume collector? Or perhaps a bloodhound? I jest, I jest. Though I do appreciate the follow-up. If Mirabelle doesn’t appreciate your love, I may have to send her a letter myself. That being said, please let me know what she says? If it isn’t too much of an inconvenience.

Be well, Larissa W.’

‘January 29th, 2023

To Larissa,

You are far too kind. I write in my free time, yes, but I’m not sure I’m good enough to become a writer. However, your support still means a lot - even from all the way in California. Quite a long way, right? Crazy how paths cross. Anyway, I’m not a perfume collector, no. But my friend, Cassie, wears the same kind. I know for certain that she’d say you have good taste. And I’d agree. That bloodhound comment was funny. I know you can’t hear my giggling, but trust me when I say I am. I wish I could be as witty, but I don’t know what to say. My humor is typically made up of making fun of people. Do you have a guilty pleasure I can harp on? An embarrassing secret? I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours. And as soon as I get something back, I’ll let you know. Don’t start writing just yet.

Best, Odette’

‘February 5th, 2023,

Odette,

Telling you my secrets already? My, I believe we’ve skipped a few steps. What happened to a favorite color? A favorite memory? An age or profession, perhaps? If you couldn’t tell by now, I am still jesting. One of my guiltiest pleasures, though you may find it juvenile and silly, is the fact that I am a huge chocolate fiend. Many of my coworkers are aware that the best drink to buy me is a hot chocolate - hold the whipped cream. I am watching my figure after all. And because I pity your lack of matched wit, I’ll tell you that my biggest secret is the fact that I quite enjoy Taylor Swift’s music. Don’t ask me about my favorite song, I don’t think I could choose just one. Oh is that- is that the sound of your giggling? Maybe I can hear it from here, Ms. California. Now it’s your turn to hear mine. In the meantime, enlighten me on what you write about. I’m thinking poetry and free-form, with a focus on romance. I do a bit of writing myself from time to time, but it’s always in a diary. Never further. Perhaps you can do both of us justice and contemplate publishing? I’ll be the first to run to the shelves.

I hope you are well, Larissa W.’

‘February 13th, 2023

Dear chocolate fiend,

White. My first trip to New York City after Mirabelle. I arrived in the afternoon, went to see a movie, grabbed dinner and headache pills on the way back to my hotel room, and couldn’t sleep for the entire night. So I went out at 3 AM to see Times Square. It was only a block away and let me tell you, Larissa, it was beautiful. It was unlike anything. I felt safe for the first time in a while - beneath all of those lights. I was invincible. Not even loneliness could touch me. 27 and counting. Secretary. And potential writer. Someone I met recently has been trying to push me further into my hobby- to really adopt the lifestyle. You wouldn’t know them, though. Them? They/them? Please correct me if I’m wrong, Larissa. These letters wouldn’t be nearly as enjoyable if I was calling you something you weren’t. As for me, I go by she/her. Mirabelle did as well. Does? Did? I’m not sure - I haven’t heard anything back yet. But that may be for the best. Horrid segue here (shame on little writer Odette), but Taylor Swift? Wow, I must be giggling quite loudly. HA HA HA HA HA!! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!! I swear that one day I’ll get a laugh out of you as well. In the meantime, as you say, I’ll happily inform you that you’re a psychic of some sort. Yes, I write poetry and free-form romance. Novels have never been my thing though. But if I did write any, I’d have to say psychological horror is a favorite. I may give it a crack if you’d edit for me? Unless you’re terribly busy, Ms. Vermont. Then please don’t worry your pretty little head.

I hope you’re ‘weller’ than I am, Odette

(P.S. Happy Valentines Day)’

‘February 19th, 2023

Dear sweet poet,

Do forgive the late response. Work has been keeping me busy; but if you’re serious about editing, I’m sure I can set some time apart for you. That memory of yours does sound quite glorious - nearly heavenly. Such freedom is a dream for many people, myself somewhat included, so I admit I’m the tiniest bit jealous. However, I could always visit the city in the summer. Times Square is already calling my name… maybe I’ll even see a certain 27 year old stranger there. Maybe we could even grab hot chocolate. But I suppose you’d rather enjoy your independence. That being said, you are quite correct - they/them is one of my preferred pronouns. Much like yourself and the mysterious Mirabelle, she/her is another. And I’m glad we both agree that these letters are quite a treat. I have not had a pen-pal in quite a long time. My old roommate and I used to talk after we graduated, but times change. Much like they did for you and Mirabelle. I believe I may have loved my roommate in that way, too… but it’s as I said. Then again, she was always more of a psychic than me. I just got lucky. As for the answers to my questions, I’m quite sure none of those were secrets. Unless, of course, your favorite color is known only by myself. In which case, I’d consider myself lucky again. But either way, come to the table please Odette. Tell me yours - but only if you wish to.

Weller is not a word, Best, Larissa W.’

‘February 23rd, 2023

Dear Larissa,

Weller is a word if I want it to be. That is my secret. No, but in all seriousness, you’re correct. Fair is fair. So I’ll grant you this: I’m a redhead. Ugh I know! I know! It’s terrible. Horrible. I’m sorry. If you find that you can’t stand me anymore, I understand. A writer, secretary, AND a redhead? What’s next? An FBI agent? I can’t disclose that information. Speaking of which, you have yet to answer your own questions. All is fair in love and pen-paling, am I right or am I right Larissa? It’s okay. You can admit it. I’m right. Just like I’m right in saying that your roommate made a big mistake if she’s not with you now. Speaking from experience, love like that is not something one finds often. I’d say I’m glad you experienced it, for it has its good moments, but I know that the ache can be bad. Quite bad. Not to worry, though! If you figure you want to send her a letter, you may get a pen-pal out of it. Kind of neat, huh?

I’m sorry she broke your heart, too. What a foolish woman. Tsk tsk.

Best, Odette’

‘February 28th, 2023

To the resident redhead,

How could you betray me like this? A redhead? On the other side of these pages? I feel scorned. Scorned and touched. Very much like a writer to offer comfort for an offhand comment. I appreciate the sentiment more than you know. And just for your information, Ms. I’m-Always-Right: Silver. Getting my teachers certification and celebrating with a few friends before life pulled us in different directions. It was a wonderful night. I haven’t laughed so much since - and that was quite a while ago. 32 next year. Principal. I do hope that was enough to sate your burning curiosity; I’m sure you can be at ease now. And since I do so enjoy meeting you halfway, I’ll tell you that I’m very fair-haired. Very. Perhaps one day you’ll see. Until then, don’t let the curiosity kill you little cat.

Best, Larissa W.’

‘March 5th, 2023’

‘March 12th, 2023’

‘March 16th, 2023’

‘April 14th, 2023’

‘May 21st, 2023’

‘June 9th, 2023’

...

And the months went on.

And on.

And on.

And every few days, another letter came. Another letter went. Another letter was written. Another letter was sealed. Another letter was received. Another letter was cherished. Kept. Forever a lovely memory. Larissa and Odette went and went and went- on and on and on- exchanging and smiling as each paragraph grew in length. From this to that and whatever else they could find to think about; they formed a banter and connection like no other. Poking fun, making jokes, referencing previous letters, gossiping until their hearts were content. Purring within their chests, eagerly awaiting another letter. It kept their days moving. It kept their souls dancing. From miles away, they cheered each time they saw the thin familiar scrawl of Larissa’s writing and the loopy tilted words of Odette’s penmanship. At one point, they even tried copying each other’s style. It was hilarious. It had both of them laughing at the same time - and later doing it purely to mock. Such things, little but large, were frequent and lovely. One time, Odette mailed a perfume scent strip of her new favorite; and Larissa, never one to be outdone, sent a roll-on tube of La Belle. Odette got so ticked off she made her promise that they stick to letters and paper only. Larissa, usually a stubborn soul, agreed. That was their dynamic. Their push and pull. Their agree to disagree. Never did they fight; rarely did they not see eye to eye; and constantly did they playfully argue. It was small things- small insignificant little things- but they moved the conversation along. And it made them smile. It made them laugh. And during the hardest parts, the parts in which life pinched at their skin and dragged at their souls, it made them cry. It made them weep. It made them open up. It led to Odette confessing that Mirabelle had left her and it led to Larissa confessing that Morticia had left her as well. Two women, two ships in the night, both of which got away. And not gently, not two slow drifts into the night, but a harsh yank. Morticia left school with a man on her arm and Mirabelle returned to California one day from a business trip in France with a ring on her finger. The two of them agreed that it was funny how life likes to slap lovers in the face. That it was funny how life likes to get in the way. And enjoys ending good things and ruining them. Taking them away too quickly. With no warning at all. Without a single goodbye.

The last letter Odette sent was on October 28th, 2024.

Larissa hadn’t responded to her previous one. Or the one before that. And eventually, after much contemplation, she gave up. It wasn’t healthy- worrying so much. Odette figured that perhaps, finally, her worst fear came true and that Larissa realized their little arrangement was more odd than she thought. That she knew virtually nothing about Odette, not even her last name. And that she didn’t find her amusing anymore and didn’t want to associate with her anymore and didn’t want to even say hello. Or goodbye. Or anything in between.

It broke her heart a little bit.

Okay it broke her heart a lot a bit.

The radio silence left Odette living on autopilot for weeks. Months. Nearly half a year. She’d get up, check her mailbox, and go to work - only to come home, check her mailbox, and go to bed - just to do the same thing over and over and over again. Day and night. Night and day. It was worse than Mirabelle. It was worse than anything. No amount of teenage angst or familial grief could get over the deep void left within her soul once those letters stopped coming. Once the friend she found by accident, the kindred spirit she stumbled upon, the woman she lov-…. well. Once that one person decided never to write again.

Though like most difficult things that left her raw, Odette’s heart began scabbing over. She cleared her desk, packed away the special pens she used, put the paper neatly into a box, and tucked the leftover Larissa letters away right along with those sweet memories. Then she put them into the back of a closet she rarely rifled through… and tried to forget it was all there. The La Belle, which she rarely touched, was hidden in her pajama drawer at the very back- wrapped up in old T-shirts she no longer wore. And every other thing that existed around her, that reminded her of Larissa, was pushed out of sight. Out of sight and out of mind. Out of sight, out of mind. Out of sight, out of mind. Out of sight… out of mind.

The company was celebrating her 5 year anniversary. They wanted to fly her out to Vermont. Jericho, Vermont. To have a little vacation there. To enjoy life. To fucking torture her.

She almost didn’t go. She almost canceled entirely. She almost quit her goddamn job because that was the same job she had when she first met Lar-…..

But she went anyway. Vermont was large enough. She’d be fine.

And she was, much to her surprise. She was entirely fine. It was a beautiful change of season; the air was crisp, the trees were changing color- morphing back into sunny greens. The world enjoyed its rain as April introduced May to Jericho and as the year of 2025 blossomed into being. Odette spent her days reading, taking walks, basking in the beauty of the log cabin the company rented for her. It was truly lovely. Truly a dream come true. And she didn’t even think- didn’t even wonder- about the other ship that got away from her. That barely even brushed past her, or lingered, before parting the water and skating away into the night all those months ago.

It was blissful. It reminded her of New York. Of that freedom- that independence- that song within her soul, dredged up from the depths.

But there was one thing.

One tiny little thing.

One little reminder that never left her. That she didn’t let go of.

“Hot chocolate, no whip, for Odette?”

A small smile grew on her lips as she slid out of the booth and made her way up to the counter. The young man met her eyes, returned the smile, and gestured to the warm cup on the counter with a nod of his head.

“Thank you lots.” And with that, she retreated to her booth.

Hot chocolate.

She wasn’t going to give up hot chocolate, let alone any chocolate at all, just because a distant soul enjoyed it. The whipped cream was something she wanted, but… old habits did always die hard, didn’t they? Oh most definitely. And as Odette reclined against the comfortable seat, eyes tracking the screen of her work laptop, hot chocolate firmly placed on the coaster to her right, she lived up to that sentiment with no room to spare. Leaving work at home was hard. She dove into it some time ago; dedicating more time, thinking, and hours into the well-oiled machine of her job just to distract her from everything outside of it. When she was there, responding, taking calls, managing dates and meetings and this, that, and the other, the world fell silent. Into a distant buzzy din. Into a land of muffled sounds and unimportant chatter - like her head was dunked under water as soon as she opened her emails. To a certain extent, it was calming. Repetitive and not at all that difficult after she figured out a proper routine; the worst part was dealing with those who couldn’t write properly. And in the professional world, that was rare. Well- if a person wanted to keep their job of course. And she definitely wanted to keep hers. It was fulfilling. Enriching. She made some friends, she shook some hands, she reassured her bosses. They knew she was reliable. Friendly. Odette never faltered. And they counted on that. Counted on her. Gave her the time of day. Responded when they could. Cherished her like a human. Like a friend. Unlike-

“Larissa? Hot chocolate, no whip?”

Odette blinked.

The muffled bubble popped. The world flooded back. She looked up from her screen.

Was she going mad? Crazy? Bonkers, finally? After all that time? Had she misheard? Maybe the young man said Patricia. Or Melissa. Or-

“Larissa! Hey, long time no see!”

Larissa.

Odette turned around in her seat so fast, she nearly broke her neck. She shuffled to the end of the booth, peered around the side, eyes wide and hands gripping the edge of the table… only to feel her excitement die as soon as it existed.

Of course. Foolish her. She didn’t know what Larissa looked like. She never got a proper description. Never got a photograph. Or a phone number. Or anything at all. Just a P.O. Box and a state. Just… nothing.

“Hello Jerry, it has been a while, hasn’t it? How are you?”

No, she- well she did get something. She got little things. Details. Odette’s brow furrowed as her eyes, hazel and starry and glazed over with apprehension and fear and admiration and horror, ran up and down the woman’s body. She was tall. Larissa never mentioned tall. She was curvy. Larissa never mentioned curvy.

‘I am watching my figure after all.’

…She was stylish. Larissa never mentioned style and fashion.

“Oh I’m good, I’m good. What about you? How’s the semester going?”

“I’m well, thank you. It’s… well it’s definitely going, Jerry.” They shared a laugh.

She was English. Larissa never mentioned being English. She wore gloves. Larissa never mentioned gloves. She-

Wait. Semester?

‘Getting my teachers certification…’ ‘Principal.’

Odette felt her heart drop.

But-

“I’m sure it is! I- oh shoot. More customers. Sorry, Larissa. Can we catch up later?”

“Of course Jerry. You know where to find me. Until next time.”

Hazel eyes watched the stranger wave. Then turn around.

Oh.

Dear lord…

She didn’t recognize her- not really- but the fair hair, which only registered then… and the silver jewelry. And the… the…

Odette watched as the woman walked past. She watched and she felt her heart in her ears- pounding, clawing, dancing- as she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. So deeply. So deeply it made her lungs ache. So deeply it made her soul tear in two.

La Belle.

Odette had never packed up her things so quickly. She never slammed her laptop closed so fast, never slid it into her bag so messily, never threw the bag over her shoulder or shoved her wallet into her pocket or grabbed the hot chocolate with such vigor ever before. Not once in her life. And rarely did she act so impulsively- not after Larissa. But seeing her then, somehow knowing deep within her soul that it was her… it broke- snapped- the thin resolve of Odette’s sanity and sent her flying out of the Weathervane like a bat out of Hell. She was burning up inside. Electric. Her eyes held fire and ice and so much warmth, so much desperation, that she nearly toppled over herself in her hurry.

The woman- Larissa- was a fast walker. Her long legs took her far as she distractedly typed on her phone with one hand and held the cup of hot chocolate in the other. Odette, being short and clumsy, was red and out of breath by the time she got close enough to call out her name. And call, she did. Call, cry, silently plead, she did.

“LARISSA!”

It was loud. Like a roar. Like a harrowing yell. Like something that held months and months and months of pain and sorrow and grief behind it. It instantly made her throat hurt, running it raw in only a second, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care at all. Not when her voice got Larissa to stop in her tracks and turn around, eyes searching and confused.

Of course, as to be expected, she had no clue who she was. Not even an inkling. Larissa got no description either - not even a photo. All she knew was that Odette had red hair. And that a woman with red hair was storming toward her, all fucks thrown to the wind, sneakers smacking the pavement hard as she stomped down the sidewalk. Larissa looked utterly puzzled, slightly mortified, entirely put off by the sight of such a determined stranger. Like she wasn’t sure if she had done something wrong and if she had, she wasn’t sure how to fix it. But Odette would tell her. Odette would make it known.

“What the fuck?” was the first thing out of her mouth.

A rather harsh introduction, but necessary nonetheless. She didn’t even really mean to say it, but the surprised widening of Larissa’s eyes had a twisted spark of satisfaction spiraling up within her soul.

And her outburst, naturally, meant many things. Not just ‘What the fuck?’ but ‘What the fuck? Why did you disappear? What did I do? Did I hurt you? Did I say something? Did something happen to you? Do you feel sorry? Do you miss me? Do you wish you responded? Do you hope to never hear from me again? Did you always know this would happen? Did you ever even bother to think that you should tell me you’re that beautiful? What the fuck, why are your eyes so blue? And why are they piercing? Staring at me? Heavenly and deep and never-ending? Like.. oceans… and why are your lips so soft looking and plump and red? Where did that scar come from? Do you hate it? Do you know that I like it even though I’m only seeing it now for the first time ever? Did you always wear your hair like that? How long does it take you to get it like that? How does it feel to take it out after a long day? Did you know your makeup is flawless? And that your jawline is magnificent? And that you’re so tall… and you look so strong… inside and out… and why the fuck did you not mention you were British? English? What does it matter? Just what the fuck? Why the fuck? How the fuck? What the fuckity fuck?!’

But overall, it only meant ‘What the fuck? Why didn’t you say goodbye?’

“I beg your pardon?”

Unfortunately, Larissa could never read minds. Or hearts. So the vague pangs of longing, like old rusted blood, only ached harder as the taller woman blinked and frowned.

A blush painted Odette’s cheeks. Right. Somehow, along the way of admiring, she’d forgotten. Larissa had no idea who she was.

“Um.” Clearing her throat, she adjusted the bag on her shoulder. Suddenly, things were very awkward. Terribly awkward. So horribly bloody awkward. It was a wonder if Larissa could feel the odd lull in conversation, the sudden dousing of Odette’s flames, but it didn’t really matter. If she wanted to, Odette was sure that if she chose to walk away, if she chose to take one last look before turning around and never coming back, then Larissa would never know. Then she’d just be another story. Another odd memory to tell her children one day, if she ever wished to have them. In her letters, the taller woman admitted that she didn’t think she ever would. But Odette always had a feeling that she’d be an amazing mother. Looking at her then, taking in the perfect posture and the crisp seams of her clothing, the feeling became fact. Larissa would be the best mom.

Funny that… there was a time, long ago, where Odette fantasized about making sandwiches for picnics and uprooting her entire life. Just to see the proud smile on her pen-pal’s face as her child grew and grew and grew and flourished. And maybe even ended up calling her ‘mom’ one day too.

But as Larissa wrote once upon a time, things changed. Time went on. And that was how it was.

So she could turn around. She could very well wrench herself from her spot and drag herself back the way she came. She could apologize, tell her she was mistaken, and that she was sorry - and then she could walk off into the sunset and pretend nothing ever happened. She could burn the letters. She could burn the very memory of her. She could forget the name ‘Larissa’ entirely and all would be left to rest. And that would be that. Que sera, sera.

But Odette was never the type to give up easily. Mirabelle, wherever she was, could attest.

So instead of abandoning ship, she powered through.

“It’s Odette,” came her firm tone. She straightened her back and tilted her head to look up properly, trying to stand tall in the face of heartache.

But heartache didn’t recognize her.

“Have we… met before?” Larissa blinked, turning to present her full attention.

Odette flushed red. Angry. Sad. Liberated.

“Have- have we met before?” She repeated, scoffed, outraged by her old friend’s obliviousness. “Just how many Odettes do you know?!” Her hands ran to her hips, firmly rooting themselves there as she began tapping her foot and glowering.

Such a display had Larissa scanning her from head to toe, desperately scrambling for understanding and recognition. The loose T-shirt, the black leggings, the sneakers, the hazel eyes, the pretty features, the freckles, the plump cheeks and curved body, the bag on her shoulder, the hair on her head. Red. Fiery. Standing out against the blue of the sky like a stain on white fabric. Messy curls and natural red red red.

Red… red…

Odette watched as Larissa froze. Her lips fell open, her eyes widened, she could practically see the way her heart stopped in her chest.

She remembered.

She remembered.

“…Odette?”

The shorter woman nodded, slowly feeling the anger and excitement drain from her body. It was fun being anonymous for just a moment. It was fun being the only one that remembered - having the chance to feel properly scorned and betrayed. But that didn’t last very long. The come down was harsh. Quick. A fall from immense grace. Especially when she saw the tears. They welled up in Larissa’s eyes, glossy and wet, making those sapphires shine. So swift they were. So rapid. As if sparked by Odette’s very existence.

Though maybe Larissa wasn’t the one that was tearing up. Maybe it was just her. Maybe the haze of the world, growing slightly blurry, was caused by the water that threatened to fall over her own lashes.

“Yeah.” It was all she could think to say.

For even with all of her passion, even with her love of words and her many discarded story drafts (all coincidentally started in the year 2023), even with whatever eloquence she was naturally born with, Odette couldn’t come up with a single meaningful thing to say. There was much, of course. But none of it fit. None of it made sense. Everything that lingered on her tongue, finally unlodging itself from the stickiness of her throat, was too heavy. Too heavy for the moment. Too heavy for the sidewalk. Too heavy for the side of the street. Too heavy for Jericho. Out in the open. Vermont. Miles away from home. Too close too close too close. Too much all at once. Maybe running after her was a bad idea. Maybe taking the vacation was even worse. Maybe sending that letter to Mirabelle in the first place was the poignant moment in which she should have changed her mind and threw it away when she considered it.

But she hadn’t.

And so there she was, staring up at Larissa, suddenly helpless. That ship that passed her in the night all those months ago had come back around; except that time she had stumbled upon it herself. And she wasn’t entirely sure if she was grateful- or terrified. Maybe the ship hated her. Maybe the ship would crash into her and ruin her and maybe the ship would begin shooting cannons. Maybe the ship would continue right past her. Maybe the ship would-

-hug her?

Odette blinked, very much unsure of what was happening as soon as she felt the comforting weight of long arms pushing themselves under her biceps and interlocking behind her back. La Belle and the soft clean smell of faded shampoo filled her senses. Her nose. Her lungs. Her eyes. Her heart. And soul. Part of her was so confused it wanted to grasp Larissa’s shoulders and shove her off. And the other part of her, the part of her that had dreams about receiving another letter from the one that broke her heart, wanted to give in.

‘That ship sailed a long time ago - I’m just not the type to give up easily.’

Odette’s arms pressed against Larissa’s waist. Their holds were odd, skewed by the cups of hot chocolate they held and the other items in their grasps. But nonetheless, it was… it was unlike anything. Each breath died on Odette’s tongue. She felt the atoms in her brain disappear. Like they never existed at all.

“I’m sorry.” It was said so softly, she was near certain it wasn’t uttered at all. But then Larissa was pulling back, hands shaking as she brought them to her lips. “I’m sorry.”

There was grief in her eyes. A sadness that not even the most haunted of poets could explore, nor understand, nor emulate. It gleamed. It cut Odette in half. It had her taking steps back, suddenly unsure. Suddenly disoriented.

“What-… what happened?” She was breathless, bewildered at the sight of regret swimming in Larissa’s eyes.

The taller woman opened her mouth… then hesitated. Her gaze burned through her old friend- then twitched away and ran over the world around them. The sidewalk, the street, the shops, the Weathervane, the town itself. They were out in the open. And their… reunion… was too good for that. Too painful for that. Odette watched as Larissa’s lower lip quivered; as the thoughts ran through her mind at the speed of light. And before she even spoke, she knew what she was going to say.

“Please, come with me,” her voice was soft. Silken. Heavy with guilt. Pouring with unspoken words.

It was Odette’s turn to hesitate. Years… nearly. However much time. She didn’t really know. She stopped keeping track once she realized she was losing sleep over it. Hours upon hours of sleep. It affected her work - it affected her body. It slit the throat of her life and dragged it through dirt. ‘It’ being the silence. ‘It’ being the goodbye that never came. ‘It’ being Larissa, Larissa, Larissa.

The same Larissa who held an apology wound up in her lungs. The same Larissa who looked down at her as if she couldn’t quite believe she was real, standing before her, breathing and living. The same Larissa whose shaking hands held a cellphone and a cup of hot chocolate that was swiftly running cold. The same Larissa with the same shining eyes that glistened with tears and crackling memories and affection, warmth, that seemed so out of place. Years without the comfort of that dove-like soul… years without the… the love? Love? Is that what they had? Perhaps it was too little too late to wonder. Perhaps Odette was just dipping into wishful thinking. Giving into the dreams she repeated over the years. With every word, every breath, every letter - she found herself begging. Pleading. ‘Please. Please please please invite me to Vermont. See me. Know me. These pages are killing me.’ All of it secretly scrawled between her slanting lines. Running in circles behind her hazel eyes. Displayed for Larissa, even though Larissa did not exist before her at the time.

Not like she did in that moment. In Jericho. In tears.

“Let me explain, Odette. I meant- I… just- give me a chance.” Larissa blinked her tears away and straightened her shoulders, tone growing desperate, body growing tense.

Never before did she sound like that in their letters. But never before did she leave Odette for so long. Interesting circumstances… Funny how life ended things so quickly. Funny how life brought out the truth in a person when they felt themselves tugged at a loss. Pushed to their knees. Though she said she had an explanation… and her old friend had never been a liar.

“Okay,” Odette breathed, clearing her throat. “Okay.”

“Really?”

‘Yes of course, really,’ Odette thought, looking at her with a mix of surprise and anger and devotion. ‘What are you, mad? I’d never just walk away. I’d never just give up. I can’t help myself. I never could. You know this. You know me.’

───※ ·❆· ※───

I quite enjoyed writing this. Might take a break from writing 'Heat' and 'To People Watch One Person' for a bit- same with requests. For the foreseeable future, whatever comes to mind will be written. I've started watching GOT again... and a certain Ser of Tarth has strummed the strings of my heart {as always} so maybe expect something with her? Dunno. Either way, thank you for staying with me. You mean the moon and stars, believe me. - Ripley x

───※ ·❆· ※───

[svt-rosalie]

. . . ♡ JIHAO ! ? 🪭 MOMENTS ★ ﾟ๑

ׁ ׅ ୨ ❪ minghao + jihye! ❫ ୧ ⊹ ࣪

© 2023 , svt-rosalie rosalie masterlist!

warnings. mentions of food and cooking, rosalie hurt her hip, horrible writing

authors note. this was requested by a lovely anon, and it’s takin forever to get out which i’m so sorry for but i’ve got some stuff i’ve got to do today and i just wanted this finished so that’s why it’s so short! i hope you guys and the anonnie like it :)

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ SOMEBODY TO LEAN ON. time frame, 2019

Jihye used to be a ballerina, before she even wanted to become a kpop idol. She was in a prestigious ballet school in Paris, France training and performing as much as she could.

During one of her ballet recitals she was lifted into the air by her male dance partner but his grip had slipped on her causing her to land directly on her left hip and caused a fracture to the ball side of her hip joint. She was out of dance for around 6 months and after that only trained by herself and left the ballet school.

All of the boys and management know about Rosalie’s hip seeing as how it causes her a shooting pain at random along with her lower chronic back pain.

Minghao is always considerate of her pain and is usually the first to notice when she’s hurting. It’ll start with her rubbing her hip lightly, then the hissing of pain when she touches a certain part of her hip, then she’ll law down on her right side with a heating pad on her left.

After their performance at Kcon 2019 LA when they were walking off stage, Hao noticed a slight limp in Jihye’s walk and hand rubbing softly at her hip.

He immediately ran up to her and put all her weight on his body despite him being tired himself, and held her whilst they walked under the stage. Fans noticed it just as quickly and whipped their phones out to capture the cute moment!

“Are you okay Jihye?” You could see the concern lacing Minghao’s eyes.

“I will be in a little bit Oppa! I just need to get my heating pad from my bag once we sit down.” She nodded with a smile.

“I’ll get that for you, you just sit down and relax.” Minghao stated sternly pointing a finger in her face jokingly. Rosalie just laughed and nodded with a thankful expression.

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ CAN I HAVE SOME? time frame, 2023

Rosalie was bored, very . . . very . . . very bored. With comeback season for FML coming to stand still for her group she didn’t know what to do with herself. She had deep cleaned the apartment, organized her clothes in her closet in the rainbow order, she’s basically been occupying her time since this morning and now she’s bored.

And what better to do with your time than pretend you have your own cooking show to your fans, she already has to cook dinner anyways! Woozi was in the studio so she would take him some food after she’s done cooking.

The weverse live has been underway for around 25 minutes by the time Rosalie had received a call from the 97’ liner.

“Hello?” A males voice could be heard through the speaker of the phone. “Ah! Minghao Oppa are you okay with being on speaker?”

“Yes.” “Good because you already were.” Minghao let out a chuckle at her words.” Rosie set her phone down as she mixed the jajangmyeon noodles and sauce together.

“Why’d you call, I’m live at the moment.” Rosie asked.

“What you can’t take some time out of your day to talk to your favorite older brother?” He asked teasingly. “You know I don’t have favorites!” She replied defensively.

That was a complete lie, both them and the fans watching knew that that was a lie and Rosie couldn’t deny it.

The call goes silent for a second before Minghao speaks up “You’re making dinner right?” Rosie hums out a yes whilst nodding, trying to best to focus on both the meal she’s making and the phone call. “Can I have some?” Rosie lets out a loud laugh.

“Of course Hao, you know I’ll always cook for you!”

“Good because I’m at the door, come unlock it.” Rosie giggled.

“I’ll be right back Carats, Minghao wants some dinner.” She stated before walking out of the camera view to unlock the door.

It always felt refreshing to see one of her older brothers outside of the stressful performing environment. Once she opened the door Minghao stepped in taking off his shoes and pulled the younger girl in for a hug. The two walked back into the kitchen and in the view of the camera where the two smiled and greeted Carats once again.

“Oh it smells good in here.” He complimented “I hope it does, I’ve been working on it for half an hour now. Can you do me a favor and grab the kimchi from the fridge?” Minghao nodded and did as she asked not without peaking and seeing some Crème Caramel, one of his favorite french desserts that Rosie enjoyed making.

“Oh you made Crème Caramel! Please tell me there is enough for me?” He pouted cutely handing her the kimchi she asked for. Rosie nodded and laughed “As long as you come with me to take Woozi Oppa some of this food.”

Minghao nodded his head as fast as he could, there’s was nothing more he would die for than Rosalie’s cooking.

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ FLOWERS, FOR ME? FOR YOU! time frame, 2018

Rosie was always picking flowers or talking about flowers. Her favorites were tulips, orchids, lotus, hibiscus, tiger lilies, carnations, hydrangeas, basically every single flower to exist she loves. It’s been brought up a lot throughout her idol career seeing as it was something very known about her.

At fan signings Rosie receives a ton of flowers and when I mean a ton, I mean Pledis Entertainment had to send out a notice and tell fans they aren’t allowed to bring her flowers anymore and to say that upset Rosie deeply, it did.

Every fan sign she was super excited to see what kinds of flowers she would receive and be told “You’re my favorite flower.” because you know her name is Rosalie and roses are a type of flower. You get the point.

The boys had noticed this and Rosie had expressed to Minghao how she was upset and would miss the flowers but she would get over it at some point.

Minghao didn’t like that. He did not like seeing his Rosebud upset because Pledis can’t handle the fact that Rosie is popular and enjoys receiving flowers.

So for their fansign that was coming up Minghao order the biggest bouquet of flowers he could. It included some of her favorite flowers in her favorite colors which he knew she would enjoy.

Everyone was on stage talking to Carats and messing with the gifts the fans had gotten them when Minghao had grabbed the mic and spoke.

“Everyone, I have a gift for Rosie.” Said girl looked up in suprise, she was just cuddling one of the stuffed animals she had been given when she was called out and was definitely confused.

“I know Carats aren’t allowed to bring Rosalie flowers anymore but nobody ever said anything about me getting flowers for our favorite Rose!” He exclaimed before grabbing the bouquet of flowers from a staff member and handing them to the youngest member.

Rosie didn’t want to cry but she couldn’t help it. It was such a small thing for him to do for her but it meant so much to her at the time.

“These are for me?”

“Of course.”

Rosie hugged him as tightly as she could without hurting him or the flowers, thanking him profusely.

Minghao helped wipe Rosie’s tears as she giggled, “The prettiest flowers for our flower.”

taglist — @angie-x3 @alixnsuperstxr @allthings-fandoms @peachyaeger @sakufilms @aysxldea

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[foggieststars]

how do u think a younger!charles and older!max dynamic would be different than same age!lestappen? ever since u mentioned ur new wip… i’ve been going a little insane

yeah. me too anon...

ok i'm putting a cut in here because i rambled for SO long abt like. just lestappen to be honest

honestly i think my fic is probably not the right place to like. properly explore this because it's a time slip au so like. charles knows what His max is like and they've still grown up together etc but his big dilemma is trying to marry that together in his head with older max. because charles knows like. pre-world champion borderline mad max era max and then when he's confronted with a more mature older max it's difficult for him to reconcile......like i've been doing research for the winner's room au and in 2019 seb and lewis were still publicly saying that they race max differently to others because he's fucking crazy so LMFAO

but also charles in 2018 was still very much. a bit of a hater.....like i know for the past couple of years they've been all smiles and like oh we have a good relationship! in the past it was tense :))) but we're all good now! but in 2018 charles was very much like. i can't say we have a good relationship but I'm Not Here To Make Friends .... and max was literally silent abt it....so from the perspective of an age gap it's very much charles trying to be like. how the fuck is my older self in a relationship with MAX VERSTAPPEN and also why's he so soft and goofy and genuine and charming oh......dear.....what if he fucked me so i can get back to my original timestream.......

but honestly for a proper age difference au i struggle to say. bcs so much of lestappen to me is their history so divorced from that i think their dynamic would be very different and like. i hesitate to say not as compelling.....like. i'm so sorry to quote jos verstappen but this quote about them during their karting days lives in my mind rent free

A PROPHECY................ like to me this is why age gap lestappen is honestly for me. purely about getting to write older max fucking sauber charles. because sauber charles was still like. not that charles is exactly a rippling muscle monster now but like. in 2018 he was a tad more twinky....and max is like. Bigger now. so for me it's about aesthetics literally just because of the fact that like. to me it's always about the History.

ALSO i can't remember who said it i think it was one of my mutuals so full credit to whichever big brained beauty said this. but they pointed out that like. when max started driving lewis and seb and kimi etc always described his driving as over the line but charles has ALWAYS described driving against max as 'on the limit' and like. they know each other well from their karting days and they know how to race each other.............god. much to think about

however i think a true age gap au would have max being irritated by charles treating him exactly how max used to treat older drivers and just being fucking crazy. because max might have the mad max rep but like. charles is not exactly the epitome of safe sane and consensual racing himself.....anybody remember monza 2023

having said all that. please go and read frechheit by @additiva . i find lestappen age gap SO unbelievably compelling in this fic like. it is absolutely delicious and i think will satisfy your need for age gap lestappen and like. still somehow draws in all the regular lestappen insanity....being soulmates and knowing exactly how to race each other even sort of divorced from their history and it is just Brilliant !!

sorry for not answering your question at all. i'm so glad ur excited for the fic though ily <3

[tangerinesgf]

Hii! Are you still doing the smut prompts? If so, can I request 2 and 19 for tangerine? 🥰 thank you!

Tangerine x fem!reader

Prompt 19; A and B go out to dinner and A gets handsy underneath the table.

Tags/warnings: 18+, smut, nsfw, public sex, fingering, Tangerine is a little shit

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long, but I just recently got my writing flow back on. I got a lot of requests for 2 and decided to only use it once in fear of repeating myself, so I went with 19 for now. Also I kind of twisted it around a little bit, I was at the cinema last week and the idea just popped into my head. Hope you enjoy it!!

Tangerine was bored.

No that was an understatement, he was on the verge of falling asleep.

You'd dragged him out to watch a movie you had apparently been waiting on since the last installement in 2019. And while Tangerine usually likes movies, he's having a real tough time sitting through this particular one.

'Mission Impossible' the title had said. He rememberd the original series back in the 80s, which he didn't love, but Tangerine also couldn't say that he hated it.

So as you practically begged him to come with you, he had given in. As much as he loved to, he didn't want to judge prematurely. It might be a good movie. Unfortunately he wasn't able to enjoy it. Tangerine constantly found himself picking at how ridiculous and unrealistic it was, much to your annoyance.

"This Ethan lad should've been dead five times already, you realize that, right?" He whispered into your ear.

"Will you quit it already?" You replied. Tangerine could feel the rising frustration radiating off of you.

"I'm just sayin', love."

"Just shut it, alright? I'm trying to follow the story, if you don't mind."

"Fine." Tangerine leaned back in his seat, trying to focus on the scene playing in front of him, but he had lost the plot a long time ago. He looked over at you, but you seemed to be lost in the story. At least one of you was enjoying it.

Then and idea popped into his head. Tangerine uncrossed his arms and moved his left hand to rest on your bare thigh. He saw your eyes slide over it, but didn't say anything.

Then slowly he started to trailing his up until it reached the hem of your skirt. Your hand was fast to grab at his wrist.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Nothing." He answered. His eyes were focused on the screen, but you could see his lips twisting up into that shit eating grin of his.

"Bullshit."

"Thought you wanted to follow the movie." You placed Tangerine's hand back on his own lap and turned your attention back to the film.

But he wasn't about to give up so easily.

Not even a minute later his hand was back under your skirt, his fingers ghosting over your panties. Satisfied when a soft gasp escaped from your lips.

He pressed two fingers down on your clothed cunt, feeling you body tense up at the sudden pressure. "Tan."

"Just watch the movie, love" He whispered. "I'm gonna need ya to tell me what happened afterwards."

"We're in public."

"Mhm." He hummed as he lazily started rubbing circles on your clit. Tangerine knew if you wanted to, you'd only have to ask him and he would stop, you never had any trouble putting him in his place before.

He gave you a moment to stop him, but when nothing came out he moved his hand higher up, slipping into your panties. He could hear your breathing getting heavier as he brushed over your cunt, gathering your slick on his fingers.

Your eyes were focused on the screen, but Tangerine could tell that's the last place your mind was at the moment. His eyes were almost burning into your face, obsessed with the way you reacted to his touch.

Slowly he pushed a single finger into your folds, lazily pumping it along your walls as he could see you biting your lip to hold back any sounds. It wasn't visible in the darkness of the cinema, but he was sure your cheeks were flushed red.

When the sound of the movie got louder with what Tangerine assumed must have been some sort of gun fight, he pushed a second finger inside.

A moan escaped your lips as he crooked both of them inside you, making you slap your own hand over your mouth, muffling any other noises. Your other hand was gripping the armrest like your life depended on it.

"Still payin' attention there?" Tangerine teased in your ear.

You briefly remove your hand to respond to his question. "Fuck off, you fuc- oh god-"

Just as you started to talk his fingers pushed back in hitting your g-spot with amazing precision. The grin on his face told you, he'd done that on purpose and if you weren't so busy trying to keep yourself quiet, you'd slap that stupid smirk off his face.

Not short after that he added a third finger, accompanied by his thumb rubbing your clit in the way he knew you liked it.

No matter how hard you tried he could hear your muffled moans from behind your hand, only making spurring him on. You'd been lucky there were no people sitting directly next to you, although he had no doubt there weren't at least a few people who'd caught on to what you were doing.

When Tangerine felt your walls clenching around his fingers he knew you were close. After a few precise thrusts he crooked his fingers again, leaning back towards your ear once more; "I know your close love, c'mon."

He dragged his fingers along your walls one last time before sweet release washed over you, knuckles white from gripping the armrest. You fell back into your chair, exhausted as Tangerine skillfully worked you through your orgasm.

Your hand dropped from your mouth onto your lap, trying to get your breathing back under control. A small whine slipped from you mouth when Tangerine pulled his fingers away. Your eyes followed him as he licked your juices off of his fingers like it was a chocolate dessert, his eyes purposefully not meeting yours.

You turned your eyes back to the screen, but the movie already seemed to be ending. You felt like it was supposed to be a cliffhanger for part 2, but since you had barely paid attention it didn't mean anything to you.

Tangerine looked at you in your blissed out state as you were trying to make sense of the rest of the movie. When the movie ended and the lights turned back on he noticed a glint of sweat on your forehead.

He pulled his handkerchief from his suit jacket and gentle wiped the sweat from your face. "This was fun, we should go to the movies more often."

A/N: disclaimer, I love Mission Impossible, this was just for the fic lol, and I just feel like Tangerine would hate those movies for some reason. Anyways hope you liked this, I for one had a lot of fun writing it.

[meredith-harper81]

I’ve Always Loved You💔

She Moved On

Chapter 1:

Paring : Chris Evans x Lana Parker

Word Count: 2k

Chris Pov

I had already gotten messages from my family and friends wishing me all the best and saying they couldn't wait to see me super soon.

I look up from my phone, and the black SUV arrives. I open the door and get in.

"Ready to go, Chris?" Megan asks me as she hands me a Bud Light seltzer.

"Ready as I will ever be," I smile, opening the can and taking a sip to cool my nerves. I am so nervous and excited about tonight. It would be my last premiere for awhile, and nobody knows just yet.

"Okay, so nobody knows the news except for me and your agency, so when the media ask about your next project, just try to project them away from asking more questions, or I will try my best to drift the question away," Megan tells me, and all I do is nod.

The driver pulls out of the driveway, and we are on our way to the Dolby Theater.

After a twenty-minute drive, we pull in, and I can hear people shouting. I get out of the SUV and wave to some people, and Megan directs me along to the carpet to take some photos and answer some questions about the movie.

I'm waiting in line and can't help but notice Ryan and Ana both have their families with them tonight. Ana brought her boyfriend Paul, and Ryan is here with his kids and wife, and I feel a little jealous of them and their loved ones tonight.

Normally I would bring my brother or family to events like these, but everyone is busy living their lives.

...

I take some pictures, greet some fans, and answer some questions about the movie and some even about what I'm wearing tonight, and then we get pulled into a group photo with the rest of the cast. I look around me, and everybody just looks so happy and content, but the dagger in my heart is bleeding out bit by bit every day. I just wish she was here to support me like she always did.

After we got introduced on stage, I am sitting by the bar, and for some reason, I can't get her out of my head tonight...

'Lana Parker'

The only love of my life.

We were once engaged in 2019 and even supposed to get married, but I ended things with her on a bad note, half of which I don't even remember.

I just remember walking out. It was one of my biggest mistakes, and I still regret it to this day.

It had to do with my career. We were supposed to get married, and I was going to quit acting, but—I can't remember—I lashed out at her and woke up the next morning and left her.

I sold my house and moved to LA, and most of my belongings were placed in a storage unit with the help of Ma and Tara. I stayed down here during the lockdown and just worked for three years.

My family was really mad and didn't talk to me for a few months, but eventually we made up when Shanna got married. Now that Scott is engaged... I'm thinking about going back to Boston and trying again with her unless she's moved on or found someone else.

I was deep in my thoughts when Ana came up with her boyfriend, Paul.

"Chris I want you to meet Paul," Ana says.

I get out of my seat and pull my hand forward to greet him.

"Oh yeah, man, how are you? I say I'm pulling him into a hug.

"Good, good. Huge fan," he says and pulls back.

"Thanks. Nice. So let's get a picture. I say, breaking the awkward tension. He nods, and Ana takes the photo.

"And I guess Paul is on to his next victim," Ana jokes as she orders an old-fashioned.

I smile and finish my beer.

"So rumors say Chris Evans is retiring soon? Is that right? She asks me, taking some of the beer nuts I have in front of me.

My head is hung low, and all I do is nod.

"That's great, Chris. So are you planning on settling down with Lana soon?"

I look up at her, and she immediately has a look of regret on her face.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to; it just slipped out since you guys were last together," she says.

"It's okay. Umm, I'm not sure. I need to get to Boston first," I say, looking at the time, which reads 6:45 p.m. I get up and tell Ana to have a good night.

I decided not to go to the after-party and just head back home to Dodger Stadium and finish packing.

Once the car service arrived at the gate, I gave him some cash and walked inside, where I was greeted by Dodger. I know he is probably hungry, and with all the moving boxes and things, I can't find anything.

"Yeah, Bubba, hold on," I say, finding the bag behind some random moving box near the living room. I scoop a few cups and place them in his dog bowl.

Meanwhile, I head to the bedroom, change out of this suit, and take a much-needed shower to wash all the stress of tonight off.

After my shower, I warm up some leftovers from last night and sit down to eat when a whiny Dodger comes by with his puppy eyes.

Which either means he did something bad or wants me to grab his favorite dog toy, which he probably tossed somewhere.

I get up and start looking under the sofa, and I'm about to give up when I find the darn lizard's tail hidden under the curtain.

I walk over and lift the curtain, pick up the stuffed animal, throw it across the room, and step on something cold.

I pick it up, and it's a gold infinity necklace. I open the clasp, put it around my neck alongside my Christopher necklace, and go back to eating dinner.

I remember Lana losing this necklace when I brought her here for a week, and she loved this necklace in an Instagram ad. I bought it for her and surprised her, and the look on her face when she lost it was devastating.

I wonder if she's doing well or has moved on. I haven't had the time to keep a tab on her, but I miss her so much.

I pull out my wallet and put my hand over the picture I have of us laughing, taken at Ma's house one Christmas. She is sitting on my lap, laughing at something I said.

I take out the engagement ring I remember taking off of her and throwing it.

I regret that day so much. I was so drunk, I don't even remember it. Ma was the one who found the ring and gave it to me at Shanna's wedding, and since then I've kept it in my wallet.

.....

I was leaving LA for good and leaving my house to my pal Jimmy to look after and move into.

After dinner, I take all my boxes with my personal belongings and place them in my room. I will deal with them later in life if ever needed. I call Ma, letting her know I will be home by early lunch, and she answers very coldly and tells me it's okay.

And after tonight, I'm ready to settle down and start a family of my own.

I mean, I'm forty-one, for crying out loud. These swimmers are even more likely to drown if I don't plant them somewhere.

I started up at the ceiling, daydreaming about how my life would have been if I didn't leave Boston; maybe I would've had a family of my own... I turn off the lamp and Dodger layers next to me, and I give him some cuddles and try to get some good shut-eye.

...

I've just landed in Boston, and before I left LA, I met up with Megan. She told me to just give her a call, and she can have statements sent and ready for the press. She gave me a hug, wished me all the best, and hoped I got the family I'd longed for.

I grab Dodger's leash and have him sit in the car as I load my things in the back. I run over to the other side, and the Uber takes off for Ma's home.

When the driver drops me off, Dodger runs off to the front door while I am slowly wheeling in my two suitcases.

I walk over to the front door and ring the bell and knock, but nothing happens.

I look under the mat and see the spare key. I use it and let Dodger in, and he starts to sniff around and bark, plants himself on the sofa, and goes to sleep. I walk further into the house.

"Ma?" I walk over and see a note on the table with a key.

The note said my room for a while is in the basement, and this is the key for the basement, and lunch is in the oven, and Ma is out with a friend.

Since when does Ma go out on a Friday afternoon? I shrug it off, and I wheel my things down to the basement.

I head downstairs, walk into one of the guest bedrooms, and decide to take a shower. After my shower, I head back upstairs and notice Ma is still not home. I heat up some food, eat it, and decide to take Dodger on a walk to his favorite park, which we used to go to all the time.

I pull on some running shoes and take his leash, and we take off. I text Tara, letting her know I need to find a new place, and we decide to meet up for dinner at Ma's tonight.

I've known Tara since I was in middle school; she has been one of my all-time best friends, but she and Lana never got along. I sort of remember Tara always bringing something up about Lana being selfish or using me for her money.

Recently, Tara got a divorce, and I wasn't there. I feel like a shy friend, so I also need to make up for that. Ma is inviting all my siblings for dinner tonight, and I called Tara and invited her as well.

...

I arrive at the park, and as I let Dodger off his leash, I notice it isn't busy for a Friday afternoon. Which I find a little strange.

I walk over to one of the beaches and take a seat, watching Dodger jump around, waggling his tail. I had a huge smile on my face. I really missed this place, and by the looks of it, so did Dodger.

After I let Dodger run around in the dog park, I called him over, and just as I put on his leash, he took off, catching me off guard. He starts to run in the other direction, running at full speed.

"Dodger! Bubba Stop! I yell after him, trying to catch up, but he is not stopping; in fact, he is running faster now.

What has gotten into him?

Dodger keeps running off across the dog park to the larger area of what looks like a children's park.

As I catch my breath, I hear a little baby crying, and Dodger is running faster.

I catch up to Dodger, and when I look up, I see him lying on top of a little girl as she giggles and Dodger licks her face.

The little girl is cooing to Dodger in some sort of baby nonsense...

I find it weird that Dodger only plants himself on humans he knows, and he is fully playing around with this baby he's never met.

"Dodger, you don't do that," I say, and I grab his leash, pulling him a little back off of her. I get a good look at this girl; she is wearing overalls, has pigtails, and has bright blue eyes.

I look at her jeans, and they are a little ripped, and she has a cut. I'm guessing she tripped on the tree root. I look around us, but I don't see anyone near us. I wonder where she came from and where her parents are.

"Swilly Doggy," I hear the little girl say as she is underneath Dodger and still giggling. I smile and move Dodger a little off of her.

"Hi, my name is Chris, and this is Dodger," I say, smiling and getting on her level.

"My nawe is Awia," she babbles as she pets Dodger as he starts to lick her tiny finger.

"Well, nice to meet you, Awia. Where is your mama? I say it, and then I hear it.

"Mawa," she says as her head turns, looking around.

"ARIA! ARIA, HONEY, WHERE ARE YOU? I hear a voice coming closer.

Just as I was turning, Dodger got up and ran across the grass, and I pulled him by his leash this time.

"Oh, my God, Aria. Here you are." I hear a voice coming closer. The voice... Lana's voice.

It's like the wind is sucking the wind out of me. It can't be, and then I see her standing far across the sidewalk. Her hair is in a ponytail, and she's wearing jeans with a black long-sleeved shirt. She's more beautiful than I can remember. Dodger gets up and runs toward Lana, almost taking her down.

Lana makes eye contact with me and wastes no time running up to the little girl and grabbing her, pulling her to her chest as she lets out a deep breath and kisses her head.

"Aria doesn't scare me like that. You were supposed to stay with Steven," she says.

"Ouchie, mawa," Aria says, pointing to her leg.

"Mawa, look dodgy doggy, Aria says as she gets distracted from what she was saying. Lana holds her close, kissing her chubby cheeks.

Just as I was about to say something, another man walked up to them.

I look over, and I don't see Lana wearing a ring or even this man.

"Oh my god, Aria," he says as he reaches and rubs her back, and Aria clings to her mother.

"Thank you; have a good day, Mr.," she says, leaving me and Dodger both baffled.

'Mister?' Did she really call me Mister?

"LANA!" I yell after her and I see her walk faster.

I see Lana walking away as Aria is babbling some more baby talk and waving to us, and Dodger is barking and nudging my leg to follow.

I am just frozen. Lana moved on and now has a baby. Maybe she's even married. I couldn't even get a word in, and she just walked away like nothing had happened. She didn't even acknowledge me or Dodger, and she just walked away. Did she not recognize me? I'm utterly shocked, as Dodger is whining.

...

I walk home with so many questions in my mind. I open the front door and take my shoes off, and Dodger runs into the kitchen, and I can smell Ma making something. I follow Dodger, and I walk in and see Ma in the kitchen cleaning up.

"Hey Ma," I say, walking over and hugging her.

"Welcome back home; how are you? She asks

"I just saw Lana in the park with her daughter," I say, and Ma's face changes all of a sudden.

Yeah, she had a baby two years ago after you left," Ma says while she rubs my back.

"I'm so sorry, Christopher," Ma says as she rubs my back.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened between the two of you? Ma says, and I just look at her, and she frowns.

"You should get ready for dinner; everyone is coming soon. I nod and walk downstairs to get ready for tonight.

[vcstasy]

⠀it’s not like they asked for this.

INCLUDING◞⠀bonsoir ensemble, ahn jaehee. TIMESTAMP◞⠀DECEMBER 2018—MAY 2019 WARNINGS◞⠀(brief) arguing. and they do nawtt fw JH at all sorry my king WORD COUNT◞⠀4.5K NOTE◞⠀raise if ur hand if u rmbr this from the bonsoir blog Yayy..

BONSOIR DORM⠀⠀6th of December, 2018

It was quiet in the dorms. Just Jiyeol and his thoughts, alone. He was perched on the horribly creaky sofa, letting himself sink into the fluff-covered cushions Ilwoo had been so excited to buy and wondering how to spend his evening—a rare free one, something he hadn’t been able to enjoy in a while.

Yet whatever Jiyeol had been planning to do that night—whether that be to go and lock himself up in the practice room to go over the routines he already knew by heart, or rewatch any one of the six DVD’s they had sitting lonely and growing dust on their shelf, or simply sit at the kitchen island and stare out at the darkening skies overlooking the city—was rudely interrupted by the abrupt sound of keys in the front door, whoever was behind it yanking it open and then slamming it shut after them. The commotion was followed by a pair of hurried footsteps, thundering into the living room where he was sat.

The leader winced at the noise and then grit his teeth at the subsequent shouting that came from Yijun, who was now standing in front of him with wide eyes and messy hair, sticking up in odd places like he’d been raking his hands through it. Hyeonmin was trailing behind him, looking more bored than anything, and Ilwoo was nowhere to be seen.

“Have you heard?”

Yijun was panicked, jittery. He switched from foot to foot, his hands moving from playing with the hem of his hoodie to picking at his nails to rubbing at his nose in twitchy succession. Jiyeol shifted from his slouched seat and shook his head, clueless but wary.

“Heard what, exactly?”

He wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting, but the jumbled words “We might be getting a new member” certainly wasn’t on the list. His eyes flicked to Hyeonmin in alarm, trying to confirm the claim, but the younger vocalist just shrugged his shoulders and fished his phone out from his pocket, the picture of unhelpfulness as he moved to take a seat next to Jiyeol while Yijun went back to pacing back and forth.

Jiyeol was—concerned, almost. While Yijun was nowhere near in the running to be one of the most level-headed of the four most of the time, to see him so thrown over what sounded like nothing but a rumour was still.. Strange.

Distantly he registered the door being opened and softly pushed to close again, but his attention was squarely on the rapper still standing before him.

“When did you hear this? And from who?”

He knew it sounded borderline interrogative, but he didn’t really know how else he was supposed to figure out where the maknae had heard it from in the first place. Yijun tried to answer and failed, floundering for a few moments before giving up and collapsing onto the sofa; half onto the uncomfortable cushioning and half onto Hyeonmin, who just moved his arms to accommodate Yijun’s head and carried on pressing and swiping at whatever mindless game he’d began to play.

It was Ilwoo that answered for him, from his place behind the trio that had gathered and standing by the kitchen island.

“Jaeyoung-hyung let it slip. Said something about someone thinking about growing us by one. Probably Jitae, you know how he is.”

He moved to the fridge and fished out a can, cracking the tab with a volume that felt like it echoed throughout the whole room. It was only after a long sip that he carried on.

“And that Jaehee kid just got signed here, didn’t he? The actor—or the wannabe one, anyway. The timing’s pretty convenient, so..”

Ilwoo trailed off and let the other three come to the obvious conclusion themselves. Yijun was the first to pipe up again, sitting up in his spot and whirling to face the leader.

“Hyung! I don’t want—are you gonna let them do that? Shove some.. Some rookie actor kid in with us? After how long we’ve all trained?”

Jiyeol understood the frustration. Hell, he felt the same way. If what they were saying was true then he found it to be a badly thought-out decision, and that in itself was an understatement. To throw someone head-first who’d only been in a few one-off drama episodes into the idol world with people that had already spent well over three years together and weren’t exactly forthcoming to the idea of new friends was practically asking for disastrous consequences. But all he did was shrug in the youngest’s direction, standing to join Ilwoo over by counter. He doubted he’d have much say in the matter, and said as much with an indifferent look on his face.

“What am I supposed to do? Protest? Strike? If it’s them that want it, then there won’t be much choice as to whether we want him or not. I might not like it, but I doubt I’ll be able to do anything about it.”

Yijun’s face contorted into something like disbelief, brow furrowing and mouth opening as if to say more, before he simply rolled his eyes and broke the stretching silence with an affronted scoff, pushing himself off of the sofa to retreat to his room; the shoes still on his feet coming down hard on the wooden floors.

Quiet fell over the room once he’d slammed the door behind him, and Jiyeol shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another. Ilwoo took another drink from his can that was probably more sugar than sustenance, that he probably shouldn’t have picked up in the first place. Hyeonmin stayed as silent as he’d been since he’d entered the dorm, the only noise coming from the game he was playing on his phone. Jiyeol took the drink from Ilwoo’s hands and stole some for himself, the singer breaking the silence just after he’d set it down with a hollow-sounding clang that echoed around the kitchen.

“You could’ve said it a little nicer. He looks up to you, you know that.”

They stared at one another for a few long moments, before the leader broke the eye contact.

“Yeah, well.” Was all he offered in reply, trailing off with another half-hearted shrug and tipping back the rest of the can, ignoring how uneasily it settled in the pit of his stomach.

CONFERENCE ROOM⠀⠀13th of December, 2018

Stale boardroom air always seemed to stick to the back of Ilwoo’s throat.

That day wasn’t any different, and he stretched from his seat at the table, trying to break the dead quiet or lighten the mood with a loud yawn. It did next to nothing, only earning him a harsh kick in the shin from Jiyeol next to him. He flipped him the bird when Jaeyoung turned away from the minor disturbance he’d made and went back to mindlessly looking through something or other on his phone, before trying to catch the attention of Hyeonmin and Yijun from their spaces on the opposite side of the table. The latter looked as if he was about to bring up the last-minute granola bar he’d eaten in the car in place of breakfast, and even the ever-lethargic singer looked uncomfortable, hands locked together on the wooden surface in front of him and eyes glazed over.

His sharp hiss made the maknae’s head jerk upwards, and while he was still biting his lip in worry his eyebrow quirked in question. Ilwoo made to whisper something, but was interrupted by the door slamming open, and Yijun’s eyes immediately snapped to the three figures walking through.

The first—Ae Seungdae. Of course. The CEO himself. Ilwoo didn’t think he was all that bad (a little strange, sure, and maybe a touch more eccentric than most), but the leader was of the opposite opinion, and the vocalist had to hold back a grin at the way Jiyeol straightened up in his place and set his face in a not-quite scowl, just the wrong side of professional. Following close behind was Choi Eunhee, their creative director praised by many for achieving such a central position at such a young age. Apart from her obvious talent and even more obvious beauty, Ilwoo didn’t think there was much else to praise—and that wasn’t just him holding a grudge over the time she’d crashed straight into him in one of the many company corridors and then carried on without a word. He was fairly certain she hated all four of them to the core. Something about the news about her now-dead brother getting shoved under the carpet while the four of them got dragged into the centre stage to cover it up. Ilwoo hadn’t really cared all that much about the details, and hadn’t really cared all that much about Yoonhae either.

But anyway. Behind her was a face he hadn’t seen around before but recognised all the same, tall and cold in stature but not in practice; if the way he couldn’t keep his gaze on anything for more than a second and the way his fists were opening and closing constantly were any indications. That was the fresh meat, then.

Sorry—the supposed newest member. The big, fat ‘fuck you’ to the four of them. Ahn Jaehee. Yijun looked on the verge of turning green, the glazed-over look on Hyeonmin’s face had turned to something disapproving, and Jiyeol was trying to stay unaffected. Ilwoo himself chose to focus on the sickness-inducing shade of beige they’d painted the walls.

“Hello, boys. I hope you’re all well. I trust Jaeyoung has been taking care of you.”

If by ‘taking care’ Seungdae meant ‘just barely watching over them and running off any chance he got to do god-knows-what, god-knows-where,’ then Jaeyoung was doing stellar. But instead of letting all of that slip the vocalist simply bit his tongue and nodded in quiet assent. The five-fingered discount he got on all of his contraband for the simple price of keeping his mouth shut was too good of a deal to break for the sake of good morals.

“I assume you know why I’ve gathered you here this evening?”

The CEO had long since made himself comfortable at the head of the table, hands folded in front of him and a pleasant smile on his face. Eunhee was also sat, eyes distant and turned more in the direction of the view from the window than any of them. Jaehee, however, was still standing, gaze still darting around the room and hovering awkwardly—looking more like an intern on his first day of the job than an aspiring idol. He stuck out like a sore thumb with his carefully pressed blazer and suit pants, compared to the four’s casual clothing. Ilwoo almost wanted to laugh.

Not one of them spoke up for a few moments, until Jiyeol fulfilled his leader role and spoke for all of them.

“We’ve heard a few things about someone joining us, if that’s what this is.”

Seungdae’s smile grew, his skin creasing at the corners with the force of it. He spread his palms in something of a ‘ta-da!’ motion and then flourished them in the actor’s direction, whose eyes turned down to his shoes at suddenly being made the centre of attention; rolling his shoulders back uncomfortably.

“You got it in one. this is Ahn Jaehee—do any of you know him already? Starting tomorrow he’ll be training with the four of you, officially debuting just as you will next October.” 

Ilwoo doubted Jaehee was expecting a round of applause, but the resounding silence and unimpressed looks he received from the group must not have given him much hope for what his future would hold.

Clearing his throat after the awkwardness suffocating the room had seemingly grown too much for him to handle, the CEO straightened his tie and then stood. He was never too keen on sticking around for long, always moving from one place to the next like he was on a time limit.

Or on the run, he thought to himself after a moment. Ilwoo bit his lip to stop from laughing again.

“Right. I’ll leave you to get acquainted, shall I? Eunhee here will be going over what the plan is for your debut, and afterwards I’m sure Jaeyoung will take you back to the dorm. Or maybe out for dinner, if he wants to give Jaehee a warm welcome?”

And just like that, just as quickly as he’d arrived, Seungdae was gone again. Leaving behind a creative director who hated their guts, a manager who could just barely remember their names on good days, two groupmates who looked as if they were planning Jaehee’s murder (and one—Hyeonmin, because of course—who had seemed to have accepted their collective fate and was back to looking apathetic), and.. Well, he had put it best himself earlier. The fresh meat.

Ilwoo snickered to himself aloud and stood from his chair, extending his hand to the actor. If no one else was going to do it, he might as well take one for the team. Jaehee looked at his outstretched palm confused, for a moment, before slowly reaching to take it in his. 

“It’s so nice to meet you, Jaehee-yah.” His tone was saccharine sweet, honey dripping off of the edges. His smile was too fake and his grip was too tight, and he watched as the younger boy winced.

“Let’s get along, hm?”

The singer let him go and returned to his seat, eyes bright even as Eunhee scoffed and Jiyeol nudged him in the side.

A month, at best, was how long he assumed he’d last. Any longer than that would be a miracle.

RECORDING BOOTH⠀⠀21st of February, 2019

Maybe Hyeonmin was just biased. Or his judgement was clouded. He was a vocalist, after all, so maybe he was feeling like he was because for him it just came easier.

But god. Listening to Jaehee sing was like trying to withstand nails on a blackboard.

He could sympathise, in some respects. Being shoved into a group with four people that hated you (or.. Two? Hyeonmin wouldn’t go as far as saying he hated the newcomer, and he was half-sure Ilwoo was more just playing around with him for his own entertainment rather than harbouring any ill will) just under a year before you’d have to debut with them and act as if they were your best friends certainly wasn’t ideal—and even less so when the four of them had already been with each other for some years. Having to learn how to dance and how to sing and how to rap while the rest were far past proficient would’ve probably taken a shot at the singer’s self-esteem had it been him in Jaehee’s position.

Behind the glass and in the booth, Jaehee wailed something that was so off-key Hyeonmin wanted to cover his ears and scream for it to stop. Sure, he could sympathise, but even he—the appointed middle-man, the forever calm one, the most level-headed by far—had to draw a line somewhere.

He tapped Daejin—who, despite being the kindest producer they had by a mile, looked like he was struggling to keep the encouraging smile on his face at what he was hearing—on the shoulder, and motioned towards the door.

“I’m gonna.. Take a break.”

Daejin nodded in understanding and patted him on the back as he turned to go, and as soon as he was out of the room Hyeonmin stopped for a second to rest his forehead on the wall, taking a deep breath in as he did so. He then swivelled on his heel and headed straight for the stairwell. He needed some actual fresh air, to try and get rid of the sound ringing around his head.

His legs ached from the trek down from the fifth floor to the ground, and the stinging February air wasn’t doing his skin any favours from his thin layer of just a hoodie and shirt underneath, But Hyeonmin would rather put up with those than going back into the recording room. he repeated his earlier mantra over and over in his head. He could sympathise. He didn’t hate him. He was probably a nice guy. He couldn’t sing for shit. Scrap that last one.

Maybe he should stop trying to be nice and start acting like Yijun was, blatantly hostile and rude. Maybe he should try out Ilwoo’s newfound hobby of what felt like him trying to make Jaehee either break his nose or burst into tears. Maybe he should copy Jiyeol’s approach of pretending he wasn’t there at all. Being civil—civil. not even pleasant, or amiable, or nice. Just.. Civil—was exhausting.

“Are you alright, Hyeonmin-hyung?”

The sudden voice made him jump, hand coming up to his heart as he bit back a swear. To his surprise it was Jaehee before him, brow furrowed in concern and arms wrapped around himself in a weak attempt at warding off the cold. The singer plastered a smile onto his face and hoped it didn’t look too obviously hollow to the younger boy, nodding in answer to his worries.

“I’m fine, yeah. Are you done with Daejin-hyung? Why’re you out here?”

The (former, he supposed) actor’s expression turned sheepish, and a hand came to distractedly itch at the nape of his neck. “Hyung said we’d probably done enough for the day, and that I could head home. But I wanted to go back with you, so.. He told me you usually come down here on breaks.”

And now, maybe, he should try and find a new hiding place. Not that he wanted to hide from Jaehee, of course. He was perfectly civil. He sympathised. He could do nothing but nod and weakly agree, fishing out his phone to call Jaeyoung and hope that he wasn’t too busy doing any one of his usual far-from-work-related activities to come and pick them up. Or at least get someone else to do it for him.

“What do you want?”

His voice was raspy, obviously tired and irritated, but at least his speech wasn’t too slurred—a good sign, as Hyeonmin had come to learn.

“Can you pick us up? Me and Jaehee.”

There was a pause, and then Jaeyoung heaved a sigh. The singer could hear the manager’s eye roll through the screen, but what he could also hear was the jingling of his car keys, and he smiled to himself.

“We’re round the back. Thanks, hyung.”

He hung up before he could hear the muttered ‘whatever’ he already knew he’d be receiving in reply, and shot a thumbs-up to Jaehee, who perked up and smiled. Hyeonmin was dreading returning his phone to his pocket, though, because then that meant he’d have to talk. 

They both stayed quiet for a few long moments, wind whipping through their hair and the faint sound of cars rushing past filling the space. Jaehee piped up unexpectedly, face painted with something Hyeonmin couldn’t quite recognise.

“Do you.. Do you think I’ll fit in with you and the rest, hyung? When we debut?”

With the risk of making himself sound bad, his instinctive answer was no. He didn’t say it out loud, didn’t say it straight to his face, but the thought was there all the same. Two members that hate you. Can’t sing for shit. The crowds would eat him alive if Yijun didn’t get to him first. He wanted to say it, wanted to take a leaf straight out of Ilwoo’s book and speak his mind without a care in the world for all the repercussions that would come afterwards, but he didn’t.

Instead he stood there in the cold, goosebumps rising on his arm and the eyes of the new maknae trained on his face, anticipating an answer he didn’t know how to give.

“You’ll be fine.” Was what he finally settled on, muttering it more in the direction of the gravel beneath his feet than at Jaehee. The lie was crushed under his trainers when Jaeyoung pulled up in the distance, and left behind to be blown away by the wind as Jaehee hurried to follow him.

PRACTICE ROOM⠀⠀8th of May, 2019

Yijun wasn’t so sure he could take it anymore.

Six months after Jaehee had turned up and thrown a wedge into everything, kicked a crack down the middle of what was going to be perfect. Five months until debut, until they were forced into the public eye even more than they already had been, were performing on music shows and putting on personas and he had to pretend to like the glaringly obvious odd one out.

They were going over the choreography again, tweaking things as they went for what suited them best. He was running too hot, an irritating itch under his skin that he couldn’t relieve being forced to go ignored as he focused solely on releasing all his long-stored frustration into the routine. One, two, three, four. The beat drilled itself into his head, the voice of whoever had sung the demo echoing in his ears. It was so loud he still heard it playing even when they’d paused and called for a break, crawling into all corners of his mind.

Jiyeol tossed him a bottle, and he caught it without thanks; passing it from one hand to the other while he pushed his hoodie off and tossed it to the side. It took one sharp twist to remove the lid, and while he tipped his head back he saw Jaehee sidling up to Hyeonmin, saying something Yijun was unable to listen in on but what made the older singer throw him a nod and half-hearted smile for. The former maknae scowled and wiped his lips with a little more force than necessary, chucking the water bottle in the general direction he had his hoodie and trying not to storm over too loudly. He felt Hyeonmin jump slightly under the arm he easily slung over his shoulder, but he relaxed soon enough as Yijun tugged him into his side and aimed a tight smile Jaehee’s way.

“Hi, Jaehee, hyung. What’re we talking about?”

Hyeonmin hummed, his own arm resting comfortably on the rapper’s waist as he let him tug him around as he pleased. “Our Jaehee was just asking if I think he’s improved—and he has, don’t you think?”

It was a push. Subtle, as Hyeonmin always was, but a push nonetheless. An opportunity for Yijun to make the first steps towards accepting Jaehee as what it was now clear he was going to be: the fifth member. part of the group, of the team they had made. A permanent fixture he’d have to see most days of the year, and not someone he could push and push and push away until they snapped and backed off.

The rapper held back an eye roll at the use of ‘our’ Jaehee, and indulged Hyeonmin with his slow nod and widening of his smile in the maknae’s direction.

“Oh, for sure. In leaps and bounds.”

He himself didn’t believe a word coming out of his own mouth, but it seemed to please the younger boy well enough, as he smiled back and then wandered over to his own bottle. Once he was out of earshot, Hyeonmin's hand slid under his shirt and Yijun yelped as he pinched the skin of his waist, hard.

“Hyung! What was that for?”

The vocalist levelled him with an unimpressed look, and Yijun wilted. “You couldn’t be more unconvincing if you tried. Isn’t six months long enough to hate someone? Can’t you lay off a bit?”

That time Yijun did roll his eyes, releasing the elder from his grip and crossing his arms defiantly. He didn’t dignify him with an answer, because Hyeonmin already knew it was no. The singer huffed in defeat and let him be with a shake of his head, moving back into position when the instructor called for it.

In leaps and bounds. He thought over his own words as the song began to play once more, trusting his own muscle memory to keep him in time while he let his eyes slide along the mirror until they found the maknae’s figure. It didn’t sound right in his ears, but he did have to admit that Jaehee had improved from where he’d started: the bottom. But leaps and bounds was a stretch and a half. One, two, three, four. A misstep, a move out of beat, a moment of hesitation that caused a chain reaction of fuck-ups. He was just barely getting by, and Yijun felt a smirk spread across his face. 

He didn’t want to lay off. If there was one thing he was known for, it was holding a grudge. Against the boy who’d shoved in front of him in line in the cafeteria when he was ten, against the staff member who’d been more interested in whatever was on her clipboard when he’d shown up to audition, against Jiyeol for what he’d said six months ago. Against Jaehee, for showing up when he wasn’t wanted and trying to shove his way in between them all, trying to fit in when it was so crystal clear to Yijun that he just.. Didn’t. Not in any way possible, not for a single second.

I don’t like you, he wanted to say, burned and ached and itched to say. You can’t sing and you can’t dance and you can’t rap, and I’ve never watched your dramas. You took Hyeonmin’s room and you drink all of Ilwoo’s soda and I don’t like you. Jiyeol’s always fixing what you fucked up and you put your shoes where I used to. You look like change and I hate change and I hate you. I want you to go.

He didn’t, though. He kept all of it inside, and waited for Jaehee to do something that would give him the excuse to snap, to let it all out. To make one too many missteps, to fall out of time and throw them all off their rhythm.

It would feel all too good when he got to do that. Like taking a breath of fresh air, or mastering a new choreo, or finally getting a verse down perfect. The thought made another smile rise to Yijun’s face, and he snapped his eyes away from where they were still trained on Jaehee’s figure in the mirror. When another break was allowed he was by Hyeonmin’s side before the new youngest could get a look in, and even if the singer gave him an odd look for how quickly he’d bounced back from his sulky mood prior, he let him tug him around and spin him in circles however he pleased, trying to pretend he didn’t have a smile on his face.

The rapper caught Jaehee’s eyes from over Hyeonmin’s shoulder, and grinned wide. It took a moment, but he reciprocated, although his was considerably smaller; his unease obvious.

I don’t like you, he thought, still keeping their eyes locked even as he carried on messing around with Hyeonmin. And I’ll make sure you know that, soon.