#bittersweet fic

[rippersz]

𝖰𝗎𝖾 𝖲𝖾𝗋𝖺, 𝖲𝖾𝗋𝖺

───※ ·❆· ※───

───※ ·❆· ※───

(An OC/Named Reader x Larissa Weems one-shot) (Bittersweet/angsty. Possible part 2 depending on feedback.)

Summary: Odette sends a letter and it ends up in the wrong hands.

───※ ·❆· ※───

‘January 11th, 2023

Odette,

I am terribly sorry to inform you that the letter you sent to a woman named Mirabelle did not end up in her hands. I believe the mail carriers fell short along the way and got it mixed up within my pile of documents; thus my wayward response to you. Considering the nature of your words (I must admit I read them - my actions were caused by split curiosity and confusion), I suggest you re-envelope and reseal your letter before sending it again. I have slipped it in with this one. And if you choose to listen to me, then we shall both hope your sentiments arrive to Mirabelle in a timely fashion with no surprise stops along the way. Until then, someone must tell her that she is a very lucky woman.

And that I am very sorry she broke your heart.

Happy New Year Odette. Be well, Larissa W.’

‘January 18th, 2023

Larissa,

Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness. I am far sorrier than you are. Obviously if I knew that was going to happen, I would not have let it. Okay that doesn’t make much sense, but I’m sure you know what I mean. I think. Hopefully? Anyway, thank you very much for sending the letter back. I gave myself some time to think it over and did as you suggested. New envelope, new seal, new everything. Except the perfume on the letter was different. Are you wearing Jean Paul Gaultier? It’s very nice. Mirabelle may appreciate the mix of scents (I’m wearing Marc Jacobs - Daisy), so at least she’ll get something out of it. The words, on the other hand, I’m not so sure. That ship sailed a long time ago - I’m just not the type to give up easily. That’s a big flaw, I think. Oh well. I guess rambling’s a flaw too. And here I am. Forgive me?

Thank you again. Happy New Year. Odette’

‘January 23rd, 2023

Dear Odette,

Please don’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault, as you know. And if I knew the letter did not concern me at all, I would not have read it. But, I’m sort of glad that I did. It was perhaps one of the best letters I’ve ever read in my entire life. Are you a writer, by any chance? If not, you should consider becoming one. The rambling could add a nice personal touch - it’s not as big a flaw as you think it is. It certainly introduced me to your keen sense of smell. Speaking of which, Daisy is wonderful. I may have a roll-on tube of that somewhere. Otherwise, you’re correct. La Belle was released in 2019, it has become my new personal favorite. Are you a perfume collector? Or perhaps a bloodhound? I jest, I jest. Though I do appreciate the follow-up. If Mirabelle doesn’t appreciate your love, I may have to send her a letter myself. That being said, please let me know what she says? If it isn’t too much of an inconvenience.

Be well, Larissa W.’

‘January 29th, 2023

To Larissa,

You are far too kind. I write in my free time, yes, but I’m not sure I’m good enough to become a writer. However, your support still means a lot - even from all the way in California. Quite a long way, right? Crazy how paths cross. Anyway, I’m not a perfume collector, no. But my friend, Cassie, wears the same kind. I know for certain that she’d say you have good taste. And I’d agree. That bloodhound comment was funny. I know you can’t hear my giggling, but trust me when I say I am. I wish I could be as witty, but I don’t know what to say. My humor is typically made up of making fun of people. Do you have a guilty pleasure I can harp on? An embarrassing secret? I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours. And as soon as I get something back, I’ll let you know. Don’t start writing just yet.

Best, Odette’

‘February 5th, 2023,

Odette,

Telling you my secrets already? My, I believe we’ve skipped a few steps. What happened to a favorite color? A favorite memory? An age or profession, perhaps? If you couldn’t tell by now, I am still jesting. One of my guiltiest pleasures, though you may find it juvenile and silly, is the fact that I am a huge chocolate fiend. Many of my coworkers are aware that the best drink to buy me is a hot chocolate - hold the whipped cream. I am watching my figure after all. And because I pity your lack of matched wit, I’ll tell you that my biggest secret is the fact that I quite enjoy Taylor Swift’s music. Don’t ask me about my favorite song, I don’t think I could choose just one. Oh is that- is that the sound of your giggling? Maybe I can hear it from here, Ms. California. Now it’s your turn to hear mine. In the meantime, enlighten me on what you write about. I’m thinking poetry and free-form, with a focus on romance. I do a bit of writing myself from time to time, but it’s always in a diary. Never further. Perhaps you can do both of us justice and contemplate publishing? I’ll be the first to run to the shelves.

I hope you are well, Larissa W.’

‘February 13th, 2023

Dear chocolate fiend,

White. My first trip to New York City after Mirabelle. I arrived in the afternoon, went to see a movie, grabbed dinner and headache pills on the way back to my hotel room, and couldn’t sleep for the entire night. So I went out at 3 AM to see Times Square. It was only a block away and let me tell you, Larissa, it was beautiful. It was unlike anything. I felt safe for the first time in a while - beneath all of those lights. I was invincible. Not even loneliness could touch me. 27 and counting. Secretary. And potential writer. Someone I met recently has been trying to push me further into my hobby- to really adopt the lifestyle. You wouldn’t know them, though. Them? They/them? Please correct me if I’m wrong, Larissa. These letters wouldn’t be nearly as enjoyable if I was calling you something you weren’t. As for me, I go by she/her. Mirabelle did as well. Does? Did? I’m not sure - I haven’t heard anything back yet. But that may be for the best. Horrid segue here (shame on little writer Odette), but Taylor Swift? Wow, I must be giggling quite loudly. HA HA HA HA HA!! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!! I swear that one day I’ll get a laugh out of you as well. In the meantime, as you say, I’ll happily inform you that you’re a psychic of some sort. Yes, I write poetry and free-form romance. Novels have never been my thing though. But if I did write any, I’d have to say psychological horror is a favorite. I may give it a crack if you’d edit for me? Unless you’re terribly busy, Ms. Vermont. Then please don’t worry your pretty little head.

I hope you’re ‘weller’ than I am, Odette

(P.S. Happy Valentines Day)’

‘February 19th, 2023

Dear sweet poet,

Do forgive the late response. Work has been keeping me busy; but if you’re serious about editing, I’m sure I can set some time apart for you. That memory of yours does sound quite glorious - nearly heavenly. Such freedom is a dream for many people, myself somewhat included, so I admit I’m the tiniest bit jealous. However, I could always visit the city in the summer. Times Square is already calling my name… maybe I’ll even see a certain 27 year old stranger there. Maybe we could even grab hot chocolate. But I suppose you’d rather enjoy your independence. That being said, you are quite correct - they/them is one of my preferred pronouns. Much like yourself and the mysterious Mirabelle, she/her is another. And I’m glad we both agree that these letters are quite a treat. I have not had a pen-pal in quite a long time. My old roommate and I used to talk after we graduated, but times change. Much like they did for you and Mirabelle. I believe I may have loved my roommate in that way, too… but it’s as I said. Then again, she was always more of a psychic than me. I just got lucky. As for the answers to my questions, I’m quite sure none of those were secrets. Unless, of course, your favorite color is known only by myself. In which case, I’d consider myself lucky again. But either way, come to the table please Odette. Tell me yours - but only if you wish to.

Weller is not a word, Best, Larissa W.’

‘February 23rd, 2023

Dear Larissa,

Weller is a word if I want it to be. That is my secret. No, but in all seriousness, you’re correct. Fair is fair. So I’ll grant you this: I’m a redhead. Ugh I know! I know! It’s terrible. Horrible. I’m sorry. If you find that you can’t stand me anymore, I understand. A writer, secretary, AND a redhead? What’s next? An FBI agent? I can’t disclose that information. Speaking of which, you have yet to answer your own questions. All is fair in love and pen-paling, am I right or am I right Larissa? It’s okay. You can admit it. I’m right. Just like I’m right in saying that your roommate made a big mistake if she’s not with you now. Speaking from experience, love like that is not something one finds often. I’d say I’m glad you experienced it, for it has its good moments, but I know that the ache can be bad. Quite bad. Not to worry, though! If you figure you want to send her a letter, you may get a pen-pal out of it. Kind of neat, huh?

I’m sorry she broke your heart, too. What a foolish woman. Tsk tsk.

Best, Odette’

‘February 28th, 2023

To the resident redhead,

How could you betray me like this? A redhead? On the other side of these pages? I feel scorned. Scorned and touched. Very much like a writer to offer comfort for an offhand comment. I appreciate the sentiment more than you know. And just for your information, Ms. I’m-Always-Right: Silver. Getting my teachers certification and celebrating with a few friends before life pulled us in different directions. It was a wonderful night. I haven’t laughed so much since - and that was quite a while ago. 32 next year. Principal. I do hope that was enough to sate your burning curiosity; I’m sure you can be at ease now. And since I do so enjoy meeting you halfway, I’ll tell you that I’m very fair-haired. Very. Perhaps one day you’ll see. Until then, don’t let the curiosity kill you little cat.

Best, Larissa W.’

‘March 5th, 2023’

‘March 12th, 2023’

‘March 16th, 2023’

‘April 14th, 2023’

‘May 21st, 2023’

‘June 9th, 2023’

...

And the months went on.

And on.

And on.

And every few days, another letter came. Another letter went. Another letter was written. Another letter was sealed. Another letter was received. Another letter was cherished. Kept. Forever a lovely memory. Larissa and Odette went and went and went- on and on and on- exchanging and smiling as each paragraph grew in length. From this to that and whatever else they could find to think about; they formed a banter and connection like no other. Poking fun, making jokes, referencing previous letters, gossiping until their hearts were content. Purring within their chests, eagerly awaiting another letter. It kept their days moving. It kept their souls dancing. From miles away, they cheered each time they saw the thin familiar scrawl of Larissa’s writing and the loopy tilted words of Odette’s penmanship. At one point, they even tried copying each other’s style. It was hilarious. It had both of them laughing at the same time - and later doing it purely to mock. Such things, little but large, were frequent and lovely. One time, Odette mailed a perfume scent strip of her new favorite; and Larissa, never one to be outdone, sent a roll-on tube of La Belle. Odette got so ticked off she made her promise that they stick to letters and paper only. Larissa, usually a stubborn soul, agreed. That was their dynamic. Their push and pull. Their agree to disagree. Never did they fight; rarely did they not see eye to eye; and constantly did they playfully argue. It was small things- small insignificant little things- but they moved the conversation along. And it made them smile. It made them laugh. And during the hardest parts, the parts in which life pinched at their skin and dragged at their souls, it made them cry. It made them weep. It made them open up. It led to Odette confessing that Mirabelle had left her and it led to Larissa confessing that Morticia had left her as well. Two women, two ships in the night, both of which got away. And not gently, not two slow drifts into the night, but a harsh yank. Morticia left school with a man on her arm and Mirabelle returned to California one day from a business trip in France with a ring on her finger. The two of them agreed that it was funny how life likes to slap lovers in the face. That it was funny how life likes to get in the way. And enjoys ending good things and ruining them. Taking them away too quickly. With no warning at all. Without a single goodbye.

The last letter Odette sent was on October 28th, 2024.

Larissa hadn’t responded to her previous one. Or the one before that. And eventually, after much contemplation, she gave up. It wasn’t healthy- worrying so much. Odette figured that perhaps, finally, her worst fear came true and that Larissa realized their little arrangement was more odd than she thought. That she knew virtually nothing about Odette, not even her last name. And that she didn’t find her amusing anymore and didn’t want to associate with her anymore and didn’t want to even say hello. Or goodbye. Or anything in between.

It broke her heart a little bit.

Okay it broke her heart a lot a bit.

The radio silence left Odette living on autopilot for weeks. Months. Nearly half a year. She’d get up, check her mailbox, and go to work - only to come home, check her mailbox, and go to bed - just to do the same thing over and over and over again. Day and night. Night and day. It was worse than Mirabelle. It was worse than anything. No amount of teenage angst or familial grief could get over the deep void left within her soul once those letters stopped coming. Once the friend she found by accident, the kindred spirit she stumbled upon, the woman she lov-…. well. Once that one person decided never to write again.

Though like most difficult things that left her raw, Odette’s heart began scabbing over. She cleared her desk, packed away the special pens she used, put the paper neatly into a box, and tucked the leftover Larissa letters away right along with those sweet memories. Then she put them into the back of a closet she rarely rifled through… and tried to forget it was all there. The La Belle, which she rarely touched, was hidden in her pajama drawer at the very back- wrapped up in old T-shirts she no longer wore. And every other thing that existed around her, that reminded her of Larissa, was pushed out of sight. Out of sight and out of mind. Out of sight, out of mind. Out of sight, out of mind. Out of sight… out of mind.

The company was celebrating her 5 year anniversary. They wanted to fly her out to Vermont. Jericho, Vermont. To have a little vacation there. To enjoy life. To fucking torture her.

She almost didn’t go. She almost canceled entirely. She almost quit her goddamn job because that was the same job she had when she first met Lar-…..

But she went anyway. Vermont was large enough. She’d be fine.

And she was, much to her surprise. She was entirely fine. It was a beautiful change of season; the air was crisp, the trees were changing color- morphing back into sunny greens. The world enjoyed its rain as April introduced May to Jericho and as the year of 2025 blossomed into being. Odette spent her days reading, taking walks, basking in the beauty of the log cabin the company rented for her. It was truly lovely. Truly a dream come true. And she didn’t even think- didn’t even wonder- about the other ship that got away from her. That barely even brushed past her, or lingered, before parting the water and skating away into the night all those months ago.

It was blissful. It reminded her of New York. Of that freedom- that independence- that song within her soul, dredged up from the depths.

But there was one thing.

One tiny little thing.

One little reminder that never left her. That she didn’t let go of.

“Hot chocolate, no whip, for Odette?”

A small smile grew on her lips as she slid out of the booth and made her way up to the counter. The young man met her eyes, returned the smile, and gestured to the warm cup on the counter with a nod of his head.

“Thank you lots.” And with that, she retreated to her booth.

Hot chocolate.

She wasn’t going to give up hot chocolate, let alone any chocolate at all, just because a distant soul enjoyed it. The whipped cream was something she wanted, but… old habits did always die hard, didn’t they? Oh most definitely. And as Odette reclined against the comfortable seat, eyes tracking the screen of her work laptop, hot chocolate firmly placed on the coaster to her right, she lived up to that sentiment with no room to spare. Leaving work at home was hard. She dove into it some time ago; dedicating more time, thinking, and hours into the well-oiled machine of her job just to distract her from everything outside of it. When she was there, responding, taking calls, managing dates and meetings and this, that, and the other, the world fell silent. Into a distant buzzy din. Into a land of muffled sounds and unimportant chatter - like her head was dunked under water as soon as she opened her emails. To a certain extent, it was calming. Repetitive and not at all that difficult after she figured out a proper routine; the worst part was dealing with those who couldn’t write properly. And in the professional world, that was rare. Well- if a person wanted to keep their job of course. And she definitely wanted to keep hers. It was fulfilling. Enriching. She made some friends, she shook some hands, she reassured her bosses. They knew she was reliable. Friendly. Odette never faltered. And they counted on that. Counted on her. Gave her the time of day. Responded when they could. Cherished her like a human. Like a friend. Unlike-

“Larissa? Hot chocolate, no whip?”

Odette blinked.

The muffled bubble popped. The world flooded back. She looked up from her screen.

Was she going mad? Crazy? Bonkers, finally? After all that time? Had she misheard? Maybe the young man said Patricia. Or Melissa. Or-

“Larissa! Hey, long time no see!”

Larissa.

Odette turned around in her seat so fast, she nearly broke her neck. She shuffled to the end of the booth, peered around the side, eyes wide and hands gripping the edge of the table… only to feel her excitement die as soon as it existed.

Of course. Foolish her. She didn’t know what Larissa looked like. She never got a proper description. Never got a photograph. Or a phone number. Or anything at all. Just a P.O. Box and a state. Just… nothing.

“Hello Jerry, it has been a while, hasn’t it? How are you?”

No, she- well she did get something. She got little things. Details. Odette’s brow furrowed as her eyes, hazel and starry and glazed over with apprehension and fear and admiration and horror, ran up and down the woman’s body. She was tall. Larissa never mentioned tall. She was curvy. Larissa never mentioned curvy.

‘I am watching my figure after all.’

…She was stylish. Larissa never mentioned style and fashion.

“Oh I’m good, I’m good. What about you? How’s the semester going?”

“I’m well, thank you. It’s… well it’s definitely going, Jerry.” They shared a laugh.

She was English. Larissa never mentioned being English. She wore gloves. Larissa never mentioned gloves. She-

Wait. Semester?

‘Getting my teachers certification…’ ‘Principal.’

Odette felt her heart drop.

But-

“I’m sure it is! I- oh shoot. More customers. Sorry, Larissa. Can we catch up later?”

“Of course Jerry. You know where to find me. Until next time.”

Hazel eyes watched the stranger wave. Then turn around.

Oh.

Dear lord…

She didn’t recognize her- not really- but the fair hair, which only registered then… and the silver jewelry. And the… the…

Odette watched as the woman walked past. She watched and she felt her heart in her ears- pounding, clawing, dancing- as she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. So deeply. So deeply it made her lungs ache. So deeply it made her soul tear in two.

La Belle.

Odette had never packed up her things so quickly. She never slammed her laptop closed so fast, never slid it into her bag so messily, never threw the bag over her shoulder or shoved her wallet into her pocket or grabbed the hot chocolate with such vigor ever before. Not once in her life. And rarely did she act so impulsively- not after Larissa. But seeing her then, somehow knowing deep within her soul that it was her… it broke- snapped- the thin resolve of Odette’s sanity and sent her flying out of the Weathervane like a bat out of Hell. She was burning up inside. Electric. Her eyes held fire and ice and so much warmth, so much desperation, that she nearly toppled over herself in her hurry.

The woman- Larissa- was a fast walker. Her long legs took her far as she distractedly typed on her phone with one hand and held the cup of hot chocolate in the other. Odette, being short and clumsy, was red and out of breath by the time she got close enough to call out her name. And call, she did. Call, cry, silently plead, she did.

“LARISSA!”

It was loud. Like a roar. Like a harrowing yell. Like something that held months and months and months of pain and sorrow and grief behind it. It instantly made her throat hurt, running it raw in only a second, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care at all. Not when her voice got Larissa to stop in her tracks and turn around, eyes searching and confused.

Of course, as to be expected, she had no clue who she was. Not even an inkling. Larissa got no description either - not even a photo. All she knew was that Odette had red hair. And that a woman with red hair was storming toward her, all fucks thrown to the wind, sneakers smacking the pavement hard as she stomped down the sidewalk. Larissa looked utterly puzzled, slightly mortified, entirely put off by the sight of such a determined stranger. Like she wasn’t sure if she had done something wrong and if she had, she wasn’t sure how to fix it. But Odette would tell her. Odette would make it known.

“What the fuck?” was the first thing out of her mouth.

A rather harsh introduction, but necessary nonetheless. She didn’t even really mean to say it, but the surprised widening of Larissa’s eyes had a twisted spark of satisfaction spiraling up within her soul.

And her outburst, naturally, meant many things. Not just ‘What the fuck?’ but ‘What the fuck? Why did you disappear? What did I do? Did I hurt you? Did I say something? Did something happen to you? Do you feel sorry? Do you miss me? Do you wish you responded? Do you hope to never hear from me again? Did you always know this would happen? Did you ever even bother to think that you should tell me you’re that beautiful? What the fuck, why are your eyes so blue? And why are they piercing? Staring at me? Heavenly and deep and never-ending? Like.. oceans… and why are your lips so soft looking and plump and red? Where did that scar come from? Do you hate it? Do you know that I like it even though I’m only seeing it now for the first time ever? Did you always wear your hair like that? How long does it take you to get it like that? How does it feel to take it out after a long day? Did you know your makeup is flawless? And that your jawline is magnificent? And that you’re so tall… and you look so strong… inside and out… and why the fuck did you not mention you were British? English? What does it matter? Just what the fuck? Why the fuck? How the fuck? What the fuckity fuck?!’

But overall, it only meant ‘What the fuck? Why didn’t you say goodbye?’

“I beg your pardon?”

Unfortunately, Larissa could never read minds. Or hearts. So the vague pangs of longing, like old rusted blood, only ached harder as the taller woman blinked and frowned.

A blush painted Odette’s cheeks. Right. Somehow, along the way of admiring, she’d forgotten. Larissa had no idea who she was.

“Um.” Clearing her throat, she adjusted the bag on her shoulder. Suddenly, things were very awkward. Terribly awkward. So horribly bloody awkward. It was a wonder if Larissa could feel the odd lull in conversation, the sudden dousing of Odette’s flames, but it didn’t really matter. If she wanted to, Odette was sure that if she chose to walk away, if she chose to take one last look before turning around and never coming back, then Larissa would never know. Then she’d just be another story. Another odd memory to tell her children one day, if she ever wished to have them. In her letters, the taller woman admitted that she didn’t think she ever would. But Odette always had a feeling that she’d be an amazing mother. Looking at her then, taking in the perfect posture and the crisp seams of her clothing, the feeling became fact. Larissa would be the best mom.

Funny that… there was a time, long ago, where Odette fantasized about making sandwiches for picnics and uprooting her entire life. Just to see the proud smile on her pen-pal’s face as her child grew and grew and grew and flourished. And maybe even ended up calling her ‘mom’ one day too.

But as Larissa wrote once upon a time, things changed. Time went on. And that was how it was.

So she could turn around. She could very well wrench herself from her spot and drag herself back the way she came. She could apologize, tell her she was mistaken, and that she was sorry - and then she could walk off into the sunset and pretend nothing ever happened. She could burn the letters. She could burn the very memory of her. She could forget the name ‘Larissa’ entirely and all would be left to rest. And that would be that. Que sera, sera.

But Odette was never the type to give up easily. Mirabelle, wherever she was, could attest.

So instead of abandoning ship, she powered through.

“It’s Odette,” came her firm tone. She straightened her back and tilted her head to look up properly, trying to stand tall in the face of heartache.

But heartache didn’t recognize her.

“Have we… met before?” Larissa blinked, turning to present her full attention.

Odette flushed red. Angry. Sad. Liberated.

“Have- have we met before?” She repeated, scoffed, outraged by her old friend’s obliviousness. “Just how many Odettes do you know?!” Her hands ran to her hips, firmly rooting themselves there as she began tapping her foot and glowering.

Such a display had Larissa scanning her from head to toe, desperately scrambling for understanding and recognition. The loose T-shirt, the black leggings, the sneakers, the hazel eyes, the pretty features, the freckles, the plump cheeks and curved body, the bag on her shoulder, the hair on her head. Red. Fiery. Standing out against the blue of the sky like a stain on white fabric. Messy curls and natural red red red.

Red… red…

Odette watched as Larissa froze. Her lips fell open, her eyes widened, she could practically see the way her heart stopped in her chest.

She remembered.

She remembered.

“…Odette?”

The shorter woman nodded, slowly feeling the anger and excitement drain from her body. It was fun being anonymous for just a moment. It was fun being the only one that remembered - having the chance to feel properly scorned and betrayed. But that didn’t last very long. The come down was harsh. Quick. A fall from immense grace. Especially when she saw the tears. They welled up in Larissa’s eyes, glossy and wet, making those sapphires shine. So swift they were. So rapid. As if sparked by Odette’s very existence.

Though maybe Larissa wasn’t the one that was tearing up. Maybe it was just her. Maybe the haze of the world, growing slightly blurry, was caused by the water that threatened to fall over her own lashes.

“Yeah.” It was all she could think to say.

For even with all of her passion, even with her love of words and her many discarded story drafts (all coincidentally started in the year 2023), even with whatever eloquence she was naturally born with, Odette couldn’t come up with a single meaningful thing to say. There was much, of course. But none of it fit. None of it made sense. Everything that lingered on her tongue, finally unlodging itself from the stickiness of her throat, was too heavy. Too heavy for the moment. Too heavy for the sidewalk. Too heavy for the side of the street. Too heavy for Jericho. Out in the open. Vermont. Miles away from home. Too close too close too close. Too much all at once. Maybe running after her was a bad idea. Maybe taking the vacation was even worse. Maybe sending that letter to Mirabelle in the first place was the poignant moment in which she should have changed her mind and threw it away when she considered it.

But she hadn’t.

And so there she was, staring up at Larissa, suddenly helpless. That ship that passed her in the night all those months ago had come back around; except that time she had stumbled upon it herself. And she wasn’t entirely sure if she was grateful- or terrified. Maybe the ship hated her. Maybe the ship would crash into her and ruin her and maybe the ship would begin shooting cannons. Maybe the ship would continue right past her. Maybe the ship would-

-hug her?

Odette blinked, very much unsure of what was happening as soon as she felt the comforting weight of long arms pushing themselves under her biceps and interlocking behind her back. La Belle and the soft clean smell of faded shampoo filled her senses. Her nose. Her lungs. Her eyes. Her heart. And soul. Part of her was so confused it wanted to grasp Larissa’s shoulders and shove her off. And the other part of her, the part of her that had dreams about receiving another letter from the one that broke her heart, wanted to give in.

‘That ship sailed a long time ago - I’m just not the type to give up easily.’

Odette’s arms pressed against Larissa’s waist. Their holds were odd, skewed by the cups of hot chocolate they held and the other items in their grasps. But nonetheless, it was… it was unlike anything. Each breath died on Odette’s tongue. She felt the atoms in her brain disappear. Like they never existed at all.

“I’m sorry.” It was said so softly, she was near certain it wasn’t uttered at all. But then Larissa was pulling back, hands shaking as she brought them to her lips. “I’m sorry.”

There was grief in her eyes. A sadness that not even the most haunted of poets could explore, nor understand, nor emulate. It gleamed. It cut Odette in half. It had her taking steps back, suddenly unsure. Suddenly disoriented.

“What-… what happened?” She was breathless, bewildered at the sight of regret swimming in Larissa’s eyes.

The taller woman opened her mouth… then hesitated. Her gaze burned through her old friend- then twitched away and ran over the world around them. The sidewalk, the street, the shops, the Weathervane, the town itself. They were out in the open. And their… reunion… was too good for that. Too painful for that. Odette watched as Larissa’s lower lip quivered; as the thoughts ran through her mind at the speed of light. And before she even spoke, she knew what she was going to say.

“Please, come with me,” her voice was soft. Silken. Heavy with guilt. Pouring with unspoken words.

It was Odette’s turn to hesitate. Years… nearly. However much time. She didn’t really know. She stopped keeping track once she realized she was losing sleep over it. Hours upon hours of sleep. It affected her work - it affected her body. It slit the throat of her life and dragged it through dirt. ‘It’ being the silence. ‘It’ being the goodbye that never came. ‘It’ being Larissa, Larissa, Larissa.

The same Larissa who held an apology wound up in her lungs. The same Larissa who looked down at her as if she couldn’t quite believe she was real, standing before her, breathing and living. The same Larissa whose shaking hands held a cellphone and a cup of hot chocolate that was swiftly running cold. The same Larissa with the same shining eyes that glistened with tears and crackling memories and affection, warmth, that seemed so out of place. Years without the comfort of that dove-like soul… years without the… the love? Love? Is that what they had? Perhaps it was too little too late to wonder. Perhaps Odette was just dipping into wishful thinking. Giving into the dreams she repeated over the years. With every word, every breath, every letter - she found herself begging. Pleading. ‘Please. Please please please invite me to Vermont. See me. Know me. These pages are killing me.’ All of it secretly scrawled between her slanting lines. Running in circles behind her hazel eyes. Displayed for Larissa, even though Larissa did not exist before her at the time.

Not like she did in that moment. In Jericho. In tears.

“Let me explain, Odette. I meant- I… just- give me a chance.” Larissa blinked her tears away and straightened her shoulders, tone growing desperate, body growing tense.

Never before did she sound like that in their letters. But never before did she leave Odette for so long. Interesting circumstances… Funny how life ended things so quickly. Funny how life brought out the truth in a person when they felt themselves tugged at a loss. Pushed to their knees. Though she said she had an explanation… and her old friend had never been a liar.

“Okay,” Odette breathed, clearing her throat. “Okay.”

“Really?”

‘Yes of course, really,’ Odette thought, looking at her with a mix of surprise and anger and devotion. ‘What are you, mad? I’d never just walk away. I’d never just give up. I can’t help myself. I never could. You know this. You know me.’

───※ ·❆· ※───

I quite enjoyed writing this. Might take a break from writing 'Heat' and 'To People Watch One Person' for a bit- same with requests. For the foreseeable future, whatever comes to mind will be written. I've started watching GOT again... and a certain Ser of Tarth has strummed the strings of my heart {as always} so maybe expect something with her? Dunno. Either way, thank you for staying with me. You mean the moon and stars, believe me. - Ripley x

───※ ·❆· ※───

[salumial]

GIANT FIC INCOMING OF THE BAND GETTING BACK TOGETHER. Takes place three months after the episode “Bully-ieve It or Not”. This one’s called “Bittersweet.”

Time it’s been since I last saw Pesto:

Three months

And it’s felt very… weird. Unusual. I would see him almost every week, and be bombarded with dumb shit like him calling me an idiot or making fun of me in some way I’ve heard time after time. Or the other cases, the actually infuriating ones, like helping me and Linda out with some sort of advice, or… even saying something mostly kind. Because I could never really trust him with stuff, so who’s to say he wouldn’t be tricking me? The only time he’s ever done something I know he was doing both for himself AND technically for me was at that yacht thing. Every other time… I don’t know.

I mean, let’s say he was, I still don’t want to deal with someone constantly stealing my ideas, so it makes sense that the last time I spoke to him was telling him I don’t care anymore. It seals it off. Sets in stone, I’m done.

Right?

But I… not that it doesn’t feel great to not have someone doing all of that… it’s weird. It feels like something is missing, is it supposed to? We used to spy on eachother for hours, with the feelings of mutual hatred. But now… I’m catching myself looking over these last few weeks, and feeling… bittersweet. Mostly bitter. Which is so weird, because why? It doesn’t make sense to me. And I never told him he couldn’t just come over and say hi. I just feel like-

“You’re looking over there again.” Linda says, as I snap out of my dramatic tangent and back to the main menu.

“What, huh? I was?” I say, very much lying because I know damn well I was.

“Bob, yea, you were, very… depressing like.” She explains, as though this is something I’ve done before.

“Huh…weird.” I say with the squeak in my voice that shows I’m lying.

“…Bob,”

“What?” I turn to her dramatically anxious as I was about to slink into thought.

“…are you ok?” She asks, giving me her loving supportive look, as I give her one back.

“No, yea. I just…” …it’s been weeks, she’s noticed for a while now, I should tell her. “…I’ve been looking there for a while now, and I don’t know why!”

She looks at me and smiles, then looks to the other joint.

“…maybe you miss him.” As she says that my mind races,

Miss him? NO,

“NO, what? No.” I say fully offended by the idea. She scoffs at that,

“Oh really? Bob, you’ve been looking over there after a week of him not coming over.”

…what?

That long? I’ve been doing it that long?

“Really?” I ask, confused as she rolls her eyes lovingly.

“Yes, and I think, if you really do miss him…”

Oh, she’s gonna tell me to go talk to him, I know.

“…you should decide if you actually want to see him.”

…what?

“Wait, you’re not gonna encourage me to go over there?” I explain, bewildered and… secretly kind of annoyed, like if she did I could act like I begrudgingly don’t want to but… that isn’t an option. I have to decide- wait, hang on. I’m mad she isn’t tell me to? I WANT to?!

“No, that’s your business! I’d totally get if you don’t want to talk to him again.” She explains, as the thought of that… makes me extremely uncomfortable.

“…” I say nothing, as she just smiles.

I think she knows what I’m gonna do, although I’m not so sure myself.

“…I would think about it.” She says going into the kitchen, leaving me alone to stew in the decision…

…why would I want to be friends with him? Why do I miss him so much? Is it because it was comfortable? The same? And now us not talking is disrupting it? I remember though so clearly at the beginning of our rivalry not wanting to ever talk to him, wishing I didn’t have to. So… It can’t be that right? What is it?

…he was honestly… someone who did know me. Very well. I heard that he actually helped Linda and the kids with my 47th birthday… and gave them the idea to fix it up for me specifically.

And… he did tell me he was proud of me once. Genuine pride. Like, he actually teared up. I thought he was kidding. But maybe he wasn’t… maybe he does… care about me?

…

…man,

I miss the bastard, don’t I?

He was so annoying, but I remember it letting me get out steam, that had been in me for weeks on end.

Being able to yell and argue, get it all out, have pissing contests… maybe we can have that in a

healthy way.

…dammit. I miss him… I’ve got to go over there.

Jimmy POV:

“Jimmy?” Trev asked, trying to get my attention as I look over at Bob staring at my restaurant for the 100th time. I mean, why? What’s he being so nosy for, I thought he didn’t care about what I’m doing anymore.

…although I get it.

“Yea?” I ask kind of annoyed but trying to be nice.

“…do you mind if I ask… are you and Bob?…” he stops mid sentence for me to give the go ahead,

“…no speaking, yea.” I answer as he looks quizzically at Bob.

“…why is he?…” he asks, gesturing towards Bob eavesdropping.

“I don’t know. I really don’t. It’s perplexing me.” I say with a hint of drama, arms crossed as Trev chuckles.

“…maybe you should go ask?” NO.

“No? No no.” I say very defensively “There’s no way, he doesn’t care about anything I’m doing, so I’m returning the favor.”

“But… he does, he’s staring right at the restaurant.” He points out as I huff.

“Ok, yea, but he still decided he doesn’t want to talk to me.” I say, as Trev says,

“…no he didn’t. He said he wasn’t gonna let you get to him anymore.”

…

“…I’m gonna guess he meant both.” I assume as Trev rebuttals.

“How would you know? You haven’t asked him.”

I’m starting to get kind of mad, but am trying to be nice.

“I don’t think asking him if I should talk to him is the best idea, he already seems to want nothing to do with me.” I say with a hint of… bitterness.

Trev keeps on,

“Or maybe you haven’t tried.” He said that with such sassiness I couldn’t help but be a little mean.

“Ok, no, listen, if he doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t have to, alright?” I say, as my annoyance starts to sound like anger.

“But how would you know?” Oh this is pissing me off.

“I do.” I lie.

“You can’t lie, c’mon man.” After he says that, I can’t hold back my anger as well I was because some sneaks out. I turn around to meet his face, but never make eye contact.

“I’m not lying, because I know he wants nothing to do with me! I wouldn’t blame him.” I express emotionally, not loud though because we’re in public but I say it with… bitterness. A lot of bitterness, man that’s gross.

…oh. Hey wait. That wasn’t supposed to come out. I wasn’t supposed to say that. The end of it.

Trev looks at me with a stunned look, which switches to one that… wait, hang on.

He looks like… that was his plan, which is why he was asking so many- GASP.

“You sneaky bastard!” I say, with a tint of joke so he knows I don’t necessarily mean to insult him. But I am super mad right now though…

“That’s how you feel about it, huh?” He says, with concern for me but also a smirk which pisses me off more.

“What are you, a therapist? Go away, will ya?” I say, as he smiles at me and accepts.

He walks into the kitchen as I’m stuck looking at Bob stare at the restaurant. It’s started to feel eerie, which is kinda funny to me because it’s Bob but something more frightening started to happen.

He started taking off his apron, and walking to his door. With his eyes still on the restaurant.

I start panicking immediately, speed walking to the kitchen making sure I keep an eye on him to see where he is.

“TREV!” I shout as Trev turns his head dramatically and starts walking to me.

“Yea what?!” He says, visibly taken aback.

“Bob is walking over, right now.” I panicked, as all the other workers I have started staring at me.

“…mind your business, everyone!” I shout with the same joke tint as they all start laughing to themselves. I love them, but they piss me off.

“Bob is coming over?” He asks, trying to match up with my nervousness. He fails, but I appreciate it.

“Yes, I need to hide, where should I go?” I ask extremely serious as he chuckles.

“You’re not gonna talk to him?”- he says, as he’s starting to look over at the wall window.

“NO, I’m not! I’m not, I’m hiding, where do I go?” As I ask the second time. I try to get his attention because its been taken by something in the window.

“Jimmy.” Trev says my name so numbly my nerves start to rattle, doesn’t help that he’s still… wait…

“What, what is?-“ I stop talking as I look through the window and see Bob. Sitting on the corner of the bar. Not even knowing I’m back here.

My anxiety SKYROCKETED UP.

“…oh NO NO NO- FUCK, where do I HIDE?” I ask whispering, hands at his shoulders as he looks at me annoyed.

“For the love of God, Jimmy this is your chance! Do you want to talk to him?” He asks me that so securely I forget I even was feeling anxiety. He’s never sounded so sure before, and he’s been plenty annoyed at me to points like this.

“…” I look at Bob, then him, then the ground, with the same worried expression as it turns to..

…relent. Because I know what I have to do, no need to be a wussy about it.

“…yes.” I say, eyes closed, completely giving up. My dignity doesn’t matter right now.

I have the chance. To fix this shit. I’m gonna.

“Then go go!” He says, patting me on the shoulder and pushing me out of the kitchen. Like PUSHING ME like a conveyer belt.

“AYE WHAT THE HELL!” I yell as I push back, “I can walk out myself.”

We are right next to the door.

“Alright go ahead.”

“I will.”

…

…

…

“…I just need a minu-“

He starts pushing me out of the door immediately, as I argue and push back. Damn he’s strong.

He pushes me out into Bob’s peripheral, as his hearing seems to notice my voice.

“Dammit, Trev!” I say, slamming my foot on the floor in anger, not realizing how stupid of an intro that was.

“Jimmy?”

Oh crap.

“Bob?- BOB!” I say, acting like I didn’t know he was already here. I put my game face on, but try not to say anything mean… as I start to think about how many times I’ve done that… no wonder he cut me off.

“Why’re you here?” I ask trying to sound neutral as he looks at me with…

Warmth? What the hell? He isn’t smiling or anything, he looks like he’s seeing… and old friend.

…it’s making me want to cry. I’m not gonna! But it’s feeling like that.

“I… well… uh…” he starts stutter, looking away with nervousness. What’s that about, what does he want to tell me?

…it’s taking a lot of me not to say something stupid. It’s kinda something I have to unlearn.

“…yea, what’s up?” I say, hoping that helps.

Instead of him saying anything, he just darts his eyes to me in surprise.

“Wait, you’re not gonna make fun of me? I just stuttered three times.” He points out as I start to feel like shit. How many times did I do that? He snapped out of his nervousness because he caught that?

“Yea, uh…” I start to feel my pride shrink, the embarrassment rise…

I stay steady. I’ve got to tell him.

“…I’m not doing that today…”

…c’mon, man, spit it out!

“…or anymore.”

Bob’s eyes widen, then start to squint at me with distrust, which makes me feel so much worse… what he adds doesn’t help…

“This isn’t a prank is it?” He asks so defensive I feel my heart wretch. How many times did I make this guy feel like that? I love this guy so much, I made him feel like that for this long?

…should I tell him that?

Trev has told me saying what’s on my mind in order to fix something is a good idea… usually when me and this guy fought… should I do it? I already have nothing to lose when it comes to my ego. I don’t care about it anymore, at least I’m trying not to. How could I have anything to hold onto though! I made a man I consider a friend feel like this… for years…

“…Jimmy?” He asks, as I haven’t spoken in like five seconds, his eyes squinting to ones of curiousness, but softening on the distrust, and moving to… concern. For me.

Even though I’ve been nothing but horrible to him… he’s still concerned for me…

…I feel something fall from my eye.

“…Oh, oh God, Jimmy, are you ok?” He questions turning his whole body to me as his face shifts to a worried look.

I know that look.

It’s the look everyone gets when this happens,

I’m about to cry.

“…can we go to the alley and talk for a minute?” I ask sounding very much anxious, as Bob agrees completely. I really don’t feel like I deserve to be the one crying, but here we are.

“Yes, yea, let’s go.” He says agreeing completely, getting up and following me to the alley.

This is wild. Bonkers.

Bob POV:

Jimmy started tearing up, and I don’t even know why. And now we’re outside in the alleyway of his restaurant. What is he gonna tell me? And also, what am I gonna tell him? That I miss him? That I want to hang out? That these past few months have felt off? That is a lot to lay on a guy who might just hate you, I can’t be sure he doesn’t.

He looks visibly distressed, as though he’s holding something in, and yea I bet, he was about to cry. Why though??

“So… I wanna guess this isn’t a prank, after…” I start to talk, but stop at the middle as I know I don’t really need to say anything else…

Jimmy doesn’t even look at me yet, he’s just looking at the ground, fist held to his mouth, covering it. He looks so… sad?

“…you alright?” I ask as he-

“No, I’m not, at all.” He says, as his hands meet his hips, staring at a very interesting pebble on the ground. His eyes are filled with tears.

Damn… and I thought I was going through the works.

I should tell him I’m not doing too well either.

“…me neither.” I say, followed by him meeting his eyes to mine, surprised.

“…why’re you not?” He asks, I ask.

“Can I ask you first? You look very… not happy, I want to know why if it’s alright.”

After I ask, I get the saddest look from him, looks like it’s filled with guilt. It makes me feel so bad, he looks so fucking sad dude.

After a minute, he answers.

“…I’m so sorry.” He- what?

“You what?” I can’t help but ask him what… what?

“I’m so sorry, for everything.” He says as he sounds like he’s trying to keep a professional voice and demeanor, but is too broken up to keep his voice from trembling a bit, “…you deserve an apology.”

I’m lost for words, he just apologized to me?

…

Wow.

“I was terrible to you, and… It should be said, that I was awful and I’m sorry…” He tried looking me in the eyes but glanced away a second after, eyes absolutely filled with tears.

…that’s… incredible. He’s actually apologizing to me? For everything?

…

“I shouldn’t be reacting like this to apologizing, I’m sorry, it doesn’t make sense.” He says, looking at the wall of his restaurant angrily like he’s mad at himself. “What were you gonna say?” He asks, I answer.

“…I… think… I think I miss you.” I say, trying to be as honest as possible. I think I can trust him now, after seeing how broken up he is… this feels surreal.

His demeanor changes as his eyebrows rise, his eyes grow, seeming to try to find the right words. This DEFINITELY through him for a loop.

“…you miss me?!” He asks, bewildered I even said that, as I start to chuckle a bit out of nervousness.

“Yea, I guess… these past few months of us not seeing eachother has felt… off… and don’t get me wrong, not being pranked or ridiculed has been nice but” I joked on the last bit, only to look up and stop in my tracks, as I see Jimmy’s face.

Absolutely stained in tears.

My eyes widen, I’m lost for words, keeping eye contact with Jimmy.

“…why?” He asks so earnestly a bewildered look flew over my face.

“Why? What do you mean?” I’m so confused as to what he meant by that.

“…why? Why do you miss me? How could you miss me? I was terrible to you!” He announced angrily, doing the Italian hand thing like he was mad at me for missing him.

…WHAT?

“What do you mean, “How could you miss me?” I don’t know!” I yell as his eyebrows dart down, I know he’s about to say something very out of no where.

“You want an answer to that? No common sense! I’m so angry that you’d even put your guard down around me!” He shouts, seeming to be trying to criticize my actions like… a true friend.

“…you’re mad…that I’m trying to be a friend to you? Do you know what you’re acting like?” How does he not realize-

“A friend, I know! Because I can’t believe you’d do something that could end up harming you again! You don’t even care?” Man he’s really mad at me, he’s pacing around.

“I do! I’m not an idiot, if you started again with your old b.s. I’d turn the other way.” I argue as he rebuttals.

“Then turn the other way!”

“You aren’t doing any of that right now! Why should I?” I can tell he’s getting angrier, but I’m not relenting.

This actually kinda feels like how we used to be, except we are arguing about my well being… it’s different… feels better.

“You don’t know whether or not I’ll fall right into old habits! How would you know?”

“If you did I’d cut you off, I’m not an idiot! And you don’t seem like you’d do that, don’t you know what you sound like right now?-“

“YES, I DO, LIKE I CARE ABOUT YOU.” After he shouts that, he looks stunned at himself. Like he wasn’t supposed to say that so boldly.

His anger filled expression and intense demeanor changed to a quieter one… as sadness is starting to peak through. He crosses his arms, and looks away.

“…you’re making a terrible decision. I…” his anger flows off his face from the incoming sadness.

“…your time is better suited for something else. Go back to your restaurant.” He starts to walk back to the entrance, but there’s no way I’m leaving this.

I run up, grab his arm gently, as he turns his whole body dramatically. He looks like an angry cat.

I look up at him, trying convey a look of care, although I’m not very good with expressions.

He looks at me, face softening. I think it worked. I should say something now.

“You… you care so much about me… that you are willing to cut ME off? Of talking to YOU?”

He looks at me, then away, then only looks through glances. His face conveys unbridled guilt.

“…I know it sounds stupid to you, but… it’s a terrible decision to want to be friends with me…” His face morphs, and grows more angered. But not at me.

“…I was an idiot,” he starts up again, eyes filling up again, “I don’t blame you at all when you cut me off-“

My eyes grow wide, as his close in untamable guilt. He really thought I…

“…I never cut you off.”

Jimmy POV:

…what? Trev was right?

I open my eyes and see Bob’s confused and concerned expression. It makes me feel worse… because how could he not cut me off?

“You never cut me off? That wasn’t cutting me off?” I ask without any anger, just confusion. He looks at me in his supportive friend way he does.

“No, I just said I wasn’t gonna let you get to me anymore, I wasn’t cutting you off. You took it as that? And respected it?” He asks, starting to smile.

“…of course I’d respect it, if I didn’t I’d be a bigger asshole.” I say as he smiles bigger. The fact that he’s still trying to become friends with me is so infuriating. Why won’t he get that it’s a terrible decision.

“…can I ask?… you’ve cared about me for a longer while, I just never noticed?” He asks as I-

“Well how could you notice? I was so shitty to you I don’t even blame you for tackling me into open water that one time!” The joke landed very well despite me being super serious, because Bob started chuckling.

“Oh…no, yea, I’m so sorry-“

“Don’t be!” I interrupt, doing the Italian hand thing, “It was an understandable thing to do, after having a man prank and ridicule you for years! On another note, you’re not convincing me this is a good idea for us to talk again!”

“Jimmy, again, are you not realizing you are turning a new leaf right now?-“

“Just because I am right now, doesn’t mean it’s a good decision to be friends with me.” After I say that, Bob’s eyebrows bend to an annoyed look.

“Why? Do you think you’re gonna revert back to your old ways? People can change, you’re doing it right now.”

“Just because people can change, doesn’t mean they deserve a second chance!” I didn’t yell that, but it almost feels like I did.

I look away from him, to the ground. I see another cool pebble. Not relevant.

“…you don’t think you deserve a second chance.” He doesn’t ask that, just states it. He knows it’s true. I know it’s true.

“…yes… now go back.” I don’t look up, I just brush his hand off my arm and go to grab the doorknob of the back door.

Until I feel a pressure on my shirt sleeve. He grabbed it.

“Nuh uh.”

Excuse me?

“The fuck you mean “Nuh uh.”?” I ask, almost completely sounding like I’m giving up, keeping my head down as I know what’s coming. He just won’t STOP.

“No, I’m not going to go back, you want to know why? Because I want to be friends with you! I miss you, I’ve missed you for months! We’ve been at this for what, feels like fifteen years, and have only grown closer each day! You know more about me than my oldest best friend, and we were high school friends!”

…wow.

This monologue is making me dizzy. Not in a bad way. Because I’m getting so much whiplash from this I’m gonna need a damn pepto bismal. And I feel like it isn’t even over. He’s missed me for months?

“I know you were terrible to me, but you were still a friend… I know you helped plan my one birthday, and that ended up being higher than most of the ones I’ve had, top five. And having you out of my life for three months has screwed with my head, and I’m not joking, you must’ve seen me looking over more than one occasion.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his joke.

“Yea, no, I saw you a couple times.” I say looking at him making sure I don’t make him feel bad by saying “yea no, you did it constantly”. He smiles at me after, and I feel my mood start to switch.

“The only reason I never reached out was because I didn’t think I could trust you, but I wanted to try anyway, because I missed you. And seeing you completely turn a new leaf and be this worried about me, not making fun of me at all, and being this open about everything… is giving me the trust, you are earning the trust right now, Jimmy.”

…that hurt.

“…” I don’t say anything, I’ve got nothing but the same arguments I know he won’t listen to. I don’t believe that I deserve his trust, but he’s gonna disagree. I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to convince him, and I definitely am not gonna be mean to him again.

“…I’m not sure if you got it yet, but I’m not giving up, I’m gonna become your friend.” He jokes as I start laughing quietly.

After a moment, I start to realize… he’s not letting up. He’s not gonna let up. He’s gonna keep fighting for this, and as much as I think I don’t deserve this, he does. He deserves to have me as a friend, at the very least as an ally, if he wants to.

I sigh, completely giving up because I don’t have a choice, as I look down giving him a knowing look and see his face light up.

It makes me extremely happy.

“That’s a sigh of defeat! I won! WE ARE FRIENDS!” He yells as I start chuckling.

“Yay, now what do we do with this now?” I say very out of energy, as this has been very draining, but it seemed to do the opposite for Bob.

“…wanna go over to my restaurant? Linda will be so happy to find out we’re friends, she’s always liked hanging out with you.”

Now that makes me wanna cry again.

“…yea, yea we can.” I say, trying not to cry. I think Bob noticed, because his face was so filled with happiness and warmth.

“Alright, are we going through your restaurant?” He asked kind of like he knows we are infamous for our rivalry. It would be kinda fun to keep people thinking that. I give him a look of “…nah.” As he shared with me that same sentiment.

Bob POV:

“…wanna go around the back?” I ask. Jimmy looks at me with a silent agreement of not wanting to break the town lore.

“Yea” he agrees.

“Alright.”

I still can’t believe it. We’re friends. I’m friends with my old rival. Who was also kinda my friend back then. It happened. We did it. We made it. We’re here.

It feels… man, I lost the word, I was saying a version of it a while ago.

…

Man I’ve missed him.

[eldritchcreatureofwords]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Vi (League of Legends), Powder, Mylo (Arcane: League of Legends), Claggor (Arcane: League of Legends) Additional Tags: Kid Fic, Fluff, Bittersweet, Jinx is Powder, Powder is a Tiny Crow, Mylo is a shit, Good Sibling Mylo (Arcane: League of Legends), Family Feels, Family Fluff Series: Part 4 of How to Raise Your Sister Summary:

Of Sisterhood, Motherhood, and Panic.

Or

Powder gets lost in the markets. There is no PA system in Zaun. _______________ Hey so it has been some TIME.  Partner and I got COVID, but we’re feeling steadily better and I finally got the gumption to do some writing again. Thanks to @ vishuni for the prompt idea and I hope I did it justice if you see this!

[strangersteddierthings]

"Look, Steve, I don't have any bad feelings towards you," Eddie says, has been saying, talking nonsense, like he and Steve weren't anything more than fuckbuddies, like he isn't breaking Steve's heart. "I used you too, y'know?"

It's then Steve rears back like he been slapped. Or punched. It feels more like a gutting. Joke's on him, he supposes. Once again, he wants more than the other person. He wanted a boyfriend, Eddie'd wanted sex. Why does he keep trying? When Steve finds his voice to speak, it comes out flat and dead and not really like a question at all. "Used me. Like you think I've used you?"

Eddie shrugs, looking for all the world like he's not bothered by that statement. "We had fun, right? So it's all fine in the end."

"Fine," Steve repeats, hollow. They're in his house but Steve feels the need to leave, to run before the reality of how unlovable he truly is sticks inside him forever.

"But I think we should stop while we're ahead," Eddie continues and Steve wonders if Eddie is listening to him at all, or just saying his piece before he goes. Can he not hear Steve's heart breaking? "I want to... I want to find someone to love."

If Eddie's previous words felt like being gutted, these ones feel like cement. Heavy and solidifying. Trapping in the truth of Ever Unlovable Steve. He doesn't even feel heartbroken anymore. Just numb. Dead inside. He should say something encouraging. Let Eddie know that all he's wanted was for Eddie to be happy and loved. But words seem impossible, so he gives one jerky nod of his head. An understanding.

"Right," Eddie says, returning the nod before turning away, towards the door, "I'll just go now. Umm, see ya later, Harrington."

Facing the horrors of the Upside Down should feel like the scariest thing he's ever done but it doesn't. Watching Eddie walk away does. Steve should be able to hold it together long enough for Eddie to leave. He's the tough one. He can hold himself together no problem-

"Why can't you love me?"

Eddie whips back around, an expression on his face like confusion and anger mixed.

It's only then that Steve realizes he spoke. He hasn't meant to. He was going to let Eddie walk away but now his voice has been freed from the cement. His heart has shut down his brain it seems because he just keeps talking, voice flat and hollow, "why can't you love me the way I love you? What is so broken and wrong within me that no one loves me back? My parents, Nancy, now you. Why can't- I thought that we were- where did I go wrong?"

"What?" Eddie asks, and the anger is gone from his face but now he just looks horrified. Which is understandable. It's horrifying to be loved by Steve Harrington. "What did you think we were?"

Boyfriends. Together. Going steady. At the very least, dating without labels. But none of those very reasonable, normal answers come out of Steve's treacherous mouth. Because Steve can't seem to be a reasonable, normal person. He's got to be too much, too soon, too clingy. So, instead, he says, "In love."

Eddie looks like he's just received the worst news of his life. In fact, he looks a little sick. "Oh fuck. Jesus Christ. I can't- I thought- Fuck!"

Steve just nods along. He hadn't actually said I love you to Nancy that night at Tina's Halloween party, but he imagines if he had, the beginning of the bullshit conversation would have sounded much the same as Eddie does now; like anger and regret, the starts and stops. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- if you want to go, you should go."

Eddie crosses the room back to Steve in half the steps he took when he first walked away, hands reaching to grab Steve's face between them. He speaks quickly and sounds panicked now. "No, no no no. I fucked up, misunderstood. I don't know how I got it so wrong. I don't want to go. I never did."

"What?"

"I am in love with you, sweetheart. I just- I didn't know you loved me back. I thought you didn't- that we weren't..."

"I thought we were boyfriends."

"Jesus, please let me fix this. Let me stay and make it up to you. I'll be the best fucking boyfriend you've ever had."

Steve thinks if he had any shred of self-worth he might step back, make Eddie explain himself, but as it is, he steps into Eddie's space and kisses him, hands pulling him as close as he can get. He doesn't want to think about the cruel things Eddie's said, about using each other. Maybe one day they'll have to hash that out, have that conversation, but Eddie says he loves him too, and that's all Steve's wanted.

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet 🖤 a yandere!john wick x fem!reader coffee shop sunshine/grump au

Table of Contents

something sweet

burned

the cougar

the mountain

lamb in the lion's den

avenging angel

the book thief

joyride

pest

drunk text

mondo piccolo

la dolce vita

vino veritas

kitten

walk of shame

bad girl

got u

war and peace

crime and punishment

lost and found

bound for hell

deal with the devil

show me your teeth

bully

knots

breaking point

surprise

haunted

lady of the daisies

say something

run

tbc...

[cinnamon-galaxies]

Unspoken Feelings

Pairings: Alastor x gn!Reader

Warnings/Tags: gn!reader, tension, lots of tension, unspoken feelings, hurt but also comfort?, Alastor is bad at feelings, inner conflict, suppressed feelings, does the ending count as (light) angst?, bittersweet ending, I'm bad at tagging

Summary: Loving you is hard, but being with you is harder. And being with Alastor is dangerous.

Wordcount: 1.9k

A/N: This one is very short compared to my other fic but full of (heartbreaking) tension.

*****

{Masterlist}

───*✱*.｡:｡*✱*.:｡.*✧*.:｡*✰*｡:.*✧*.｡:.*✱*｡: ｡.*✱*───

You sat at the grand piano in the dimly lit lounge of the hotel. Your fingers glided gracefully across the keys, seamlessly transitioning between the notes with a captivating elegance. With closed eyes you surrendered to the enchanting melody, completely entranced by its spell. Your soft voice sang along, a subtle sound that harmonized with heartbreaking lyrics of the ballad that had such a special place in your heart, reminding you of bittersweet moments and cherished dreams.

   Alastor sat not far from you in an armchair with a glass of whiskey in his hand. His crimson eyes remained fixed on you, captivated by your fervent performance that fully caught his attention. Though he heard you play before he had never witnessed such a fiery passion put into the music that came from your fingers. Your singing voice was enchanting, echoed from the high ceiling like a siren’s song casting a spell on every person who could hear you. It was as though you were revealing a concealed message and opening your heart to whatever you had in mind.

   He closed his eyes while he let himself get bewitched by your spell, fully succumbing to your beautiful performance. Were you even aware that he was watching you? Listened to you singing and playing like a muse? He didn’t know it but also he didn’t care as long as you kept playing and filled the hole in his heart with the sound of your song, as a clenching feeling tugged on his stomach, clouded by a pang of longing. He knew exactly what he felt right now. How he felt about you, but expressing those emotions was a different story. He wasn’t good at feelings, let alone at admitting them. It was hard to even admit them to himself, just to begin with. He found himself caught up in denial for far too long and had blamed it on his mind playing tricks on him – he even preferred to diagnose himself as mentally ill than to just accept the fact that he had grown  fond of you. Way too fond.

   That he started longing for you.

   Loved you.

   Love.

   He let out a dismissive laugh that was far too quiet for you to hear over the sound of the piano.

   Love was a feeling he had never felt before. At least not in this way. He had loved his mother unconditionally. She had been the closest and dearest person to him that ever existed in his whole lifetime. And there were other people who were close to him and who he cared about. A lot. But nothing like this could be compared to what he felt in your presence. What feelings you evoke deep inside of him as he looked you in the eyes, felt your lingering gaze on him, listened to you talk and laugh with all your heart. The way his thoughts about you occupied his every breath and kept him awake at night because otherwise if he closed his eyes all he could see was your beautiful face haunting his mind like a tormenting ghost. Oh sweet hells, he even dreamed about you. Was this really the love people were so obsessed with and that was considered the most beautiful thing in the world? There was no way he could comprehend this; no matter how hard he tried. You possessed his every thought and made him question his sanity. It was an uncomfortable feeling that tugged on him, almost completely tore him apart. He hated it. But yet he didn’t want to miss it.

   He opened his eyes again, watching your graceful silhouette moving in front of the grand piano and couldn’t help himself but smile contendly, his eyes glowing with sparks of joy. Though no matter how many feelings of happiness tingled in his guts, he felt heartbroken at the same time. Your relationship has always been complicated. You danced around each other, both too far to take the leap. There was so much on you that Alastor admired. Your view on life and your admiration for the smaller things. The way you animatedly gestured around while you told him a story and how your eyes sparkled with anticipation whenever you were about to do the things you adored the most. He admired your creativity and your talent, the passion you put into your music when you played one of your instruments and used your powerful voice to sing along. The way you danced with him as if you were a graceful swan. He also admired your strength and independence, your self-confidence, your stubbornness, your abnormal sense of humor and psychotic tendencies that always reminded him that you were in hell for a reason. He admired the way you weren’t afraid to show off your insanity, even implemented some of your sickest fantasies on hell’s worst spawns. He admired you.

   Alastor took a sip of his whiskey. His thoughts made him sound like a fool – an immature and cheesy teenager – whenever he tried to unravel the clot that every oh so normal person considered love.

   By now he was aware that he himself had become a victim of this cruel but also beautiful torture. But no matter how confident he was of his actions his own demons held him back to fully committing to you and the feelings he harbored in his chest, carefully tucked away in a heart shaped box. He was everything but a saint. He’d never be enough for you because he knew that he would never change. All he could give you was sorrow and pain and if there was one thing he didn’t want you to bear, it was you suffering from his incapabilities of being the lover you deserved.

   The song came to an end and that was when Alastor noticed that he had swallowed his whole drink within the shortest amount of time. Not good, as he already felt the effects of the alcohol starting to cloud his senses.

   Through the corner of his eye he saw you move and when he turned his face towards you, you caught him by surprise as he met your gaze. Time stood still for a short moment, his heart pounded in his chest as he returned your startled gaze. You obviously hadn’t been aware of his presence until now.

   Alastors smile widened in amusement at your dumbfounded expression but he didn’t laugh. Instead, his voice was calm and smooth as he said, “That was quite the performance, my dear.”

   You forced yourself to smile, trying hard to hide your embarrassment in front of him – unsuccessfully. What a cute sight, Alastor thought but shook off the thought as soon as it entered his mind.

   “Thank you, Alastor,” you responded to him, your voice much more confident than your startled body language expressed. A wave of reassurance overcame you and you calmed down, recovering from the surprise of your unexpected listener. “It’s always nice to have a captive audience. Even though I would’ve preferred to be aware of it,” you then added with a soft voice, a genuine smile forming on your lips.

   Alastor chuckled softly. “Well, consider me captivated, indeed.”

   The room became silent for a moment as you and Alastor exchanged glances, the air heavy with unspoken words. There was a moment of silent understanding between you, a shared acknowledgement of the unspoken feelings that lingered beneath the surface. Alastor knew he had to say something, to break the tension between you, but the words caught in his throat, unable to be spoken out loud. It was one of those moments when he should have risen from his seat and approached you, embracing your delicate presence and pulling you in a tender kiss. It was what he had dreamed about for weeks, one of those perfect moments that needed no words but mere actions to confess your feelings for each other. There was no doubt that you felt the same for him. Alastor knew that you returned his feelings (at least in some similar way). You had to. Otherwise you would have acted differently in his presence, less nervous, less attentive in his personal needs, less affectionate. You would’ve maintained less eye contact with him, not lingering your gaze longer on him than necessary and not secretly stealing glances. Yes, he knew about it but not only because he could feel it when he was watched, but also because people had told him. Not only Charlie had tried to confront him about the supposed ‘tension’ between the both of you, but also Angel couldn’t help but joke loudly about it. Alastor was told how much you smiled in his presence, how much more vivid you behaved in his presence, that subtle tries of yours to catch his attention without raising suspicion. Well, your attempt to remain inconspicuous seemed to have failed – at least in the eyes of the other residents. If no one had told Alastor about it and he wouldn’t have spent time actively paying attention to your changes in behavior around him, he would have never noticed. Never guessed it. You were truly bad at concealing your feelings. Did you even try?

   Normally Alastor would’ve laughed at this thought. But in this moment there was nothing to laugh about as the tension between you burned with a subtle passion, drawing the both of you to each other in an unspoken longing.

   You loved him at least as much as he loved you.

   You wanted him at least as much as he wanted you.

   And you needed him at least as much as he needed you.

   At least that’s what Rosie had told him when he had spent a whole afternoon conversing with her about that peculiar demoness that made him feel things he never thought possible. But yet, Alastor remained in his armchair, returning your loving expression with unveiled eyes. His breath was heavy and his heart pounded in his chest like a drum on a battlefield.

   Oh, how much he wanted to touch you.

   To get close to you.

   To hug you.

   To kiss you.

   To make him his. For the rest of eternity.

   But he knew his inner demons would show you no mercy. That he would just hurt you to a point of no return. And that was something he was determined not to allow under any circumstances. Something he would never forgive himself for. And he would hurt you. He knew that.

   Alastor felt a lump building in his throat and held his breath as it was too painful to continue breathing with that pressure clenching his chest. 

   The both of you stood there for a moment longer, staring at each other but remained in your unmoved state, silently confessing to each other without a spoken word.

   Without making a sound Alastor stood up, his hand wrapped tightly around his empty whiskey glass, knuckles whitening under the pressure. He offered you a small, toothless smile before turning around to leave. His heart was heavy from unspoken desires and the pain of his decision tore his heart into shreds as he left you alone. The door swung close behind him and Alastor couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss wash over him. He knew that loving you was hard. And being without you was even harder.

   Cruel.

   But it was for the best.

   He could never love you the way he wanted to – the way you deserved it. And if protecting you meant tearing himself apart in the most gruesome ways possible, so it should be.

*****

[coffeebanana]

It felt eerily familiar, kneeling ghost-like beneath a vermillion sky. Doom crept though Antichat's chest, as thick as the acrid smoke scorching his lungs. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe. There was a weight in his arms—an inexplicable solace. And yet…  Suddenly it didn’t weigh as much as it should. No.  His eyes flicked downwards. No, no, no, no— All he held was a pile of ashes, moulded into the shape of a girl.

Some nightmares refuse to fade.

***

[Read the full fic below the cut or on Ao3!! CW: panic attacks, dissociation, depression]

It felt eerily familiar, kneeling ghost-like beneath a vermillion sky. Doom crept though Antichat's chest, as thick as the acrid smoke scorching his lungs. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe. There was a weight in his arms—an inexplicable solace. And yet…  Suddenly it didn’t weigh as much as it should. No.  His eyes flicked downwards. No, no, no, no— All he held was a pile of ashes, moulded into the shape of a girl.

Please, no.

Chat squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head to rid himself of a sudden, blinding panic pounding through his skull. But it was too late. Ladybug’s slate-stained image was seared into his mind, her face frozen in pain, devoid of everything that had once painted comfort across his soul. 

Her mask was half-torn, such that Marinette's bare cheek was cradled closest to his chest. Like maybe he'd tried in vain to protect her from the blast.

From his own destruction.

A choked sound ripped itself from his throat, a painful lump following in its wake. He had no way to fix this, nothing to do but pull her in closer. To tighten his arms around her precious, fragile remains.

Another mistake. 

She crumbled in his grip; ashes floated up like a mosaic, blinding his vision. Frantically, he pawed at the air—trying to gather her fragments, to force her back together. If he caught enough, perhaps he could papier-mâché her likeness. He could use his tears as glue.

But there was no time for that before a fiery breeze tore through the street. Marinette’s remains were swept away, and only Chat’s strangled cries could follow. 

The further away they fled, the more he came undone. There was nothing left to tie his mind together, to keep his pain from exploding like a supernova.

Nothing to keep the world from collapsing in on him.

“What did you expect?” Nightormentor’s voice sliced through the smoke. “You’ve always been poison to the ones you loved most.”

NO!

With a frigid gasp—one that curdled his tar-slicked insides—Adrien awoke. Once again, there was a darling weight in his arms. Only this Marinette was warm and solid. Her limbs were tangled in the blankets she'd pulled to her side of his bed, and one of her hands curled slightly into his T-shirt as her breath tickled the fabric.

She was alive.

Adrien just wasn't sure his heart still knew how to beat.

He was too hot and too cold all at once, both drenched in sweat and trembling. His chest felt like someone had trampled it, and every attempt to breathe sliced further into the wound. 

When he closed his eyes, the world was still on fire.

Stomach lurching, he carefully rolled Marinette’s weight off his chest. He couldn’t stay here, couldn’t listen to the even sounds of her breath without hearing echoes of his own sobs slip between them. 

The room spun around him as he stumbled to the bathroom; the world still appeared as though through smoke—muted and unreliable, the air too thick to breathe. He collapsed to his knees in front of the toilet, his empty stomach convulsing, only to realize the sickness inside him wasn’t the kind he could expel.

He remained there, braced against the toilet seat, until his limbs eased their shaking enough for him to crawl away. Even so, he barely made it to the wall beside the sink before one of his arms gave out, and his cheek slammed a little too hard into the handle of one of the cupboards he twisted into a seated position. Hissing in pain, he let his face press against the wood there, shuddering at the way the cold surface shocked some life inside of him.

Time ceased to make sense after that. One moment, his chest was burning, pain reverberating through his back as he struggled to fill his lungs. The next, it seemed he’d become a giant cloud. A numb expanse of icy droplets, ready to fall at a moment’s notice.

Light gradually awakened the room, a subtle warmth flickering near the edge of his awareness. He only fully realized the day had come when, somewhere beyond the door he’d left ajar, the bed creaked.

“Adrien?” Marinette called. Her voice was gentle, but pierced through him all the same. “Everything okay?”

No.

Panic set in anew as footsteps approached. He swore he could somehow taste the blood pounding in his ears, and he clamped his mouth shut to keep from crying out. To keep from breathing, even.

He didn’t want to be found. Maybe, if he held his breath until his lungs screamed again, he’d remain concealed in his lifeless fog.

But ironically, it was harder to keep from breathing when that was his actual goal. He sucked in sharp breaths, timed to his heartbeats, and hid his face in his hands.

“Oh, Chaton...” Marinette’s slippers scraped across the bathroom tiles, coming to a stop within his sight. Too close. “Did it happen again?”

He managed a nod, bottom lip quivering as he bit back a sob.

A long exhale piqued his attention; it started as a noise from above and ended as a warm breath against his cheek. Kneeling at his side, Marinette rubbed her hands against her thighs.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

Adrien shifted his jaw from side to side, guilt hooking its talons into his gut. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

It wasn’t a lie; he felt plenty bad about inadvertently dragging her here every night. She deserved the comfort of her own bed, regardless of whether he could actually get any sleep without her. So the least he could do was actually let her get enough rest.

But it wasn’t the truth, either.

And as she took his hand, carefully smoothing his fingers over hers, he had a feeling she knew it.

“Adrien…” She tugged his arm upwards, pressing a kiss to his fingertips. “You’re not going to hurt me.”

Biting his lip to keep from disagreeing, Adrien squeezed his eyes shut. With one less sense at his disposal, he was all too aware of the way she lifted his hand further, unfolding his fingers to press against her cheek.

“See?” she whispered, breath tickling the inside of his wrist. Her head twisted to the side, lips planting a kiss on the heel of his palm. “Everything’s fine.”

He swore he could feel the remnants of destruction prickling against her cheek. It took everything he had not to jerk his hand away.

Nothing was fine.

No matter how he’d come into this world, and no matter how much he despised the fact, Adrien would always be—in some way or another—his father’s son. Sometimes he swore he saw a glimpse of the man when he turned too fast in the mirror. Other times, a flash of fury would seize him; with a sickening sense of satisfaction, he’d know what it might felt like to be a villain.

Even worse, he was his mother’s son. His very existence had killed her.

He’d killed both his parents, in the end. 

So no matter how much Marinette tried to console him, Adrien knew the voice of his nightmares had a point. He was a danger to her, to himself, to the world.

It might not even end up being his choice. All it would take was someone finding out what he was, and stealing the two rings he still couldn’t stand the sight of.

He was, at most, a liability. And Marinette deserved more than that.

She never agreed with him on that point.

“Look at me,” she said now. An edge crept into her voice, one that shocked him into listening.

His heart jumped at the blue of her eyes—filled with all the warmth that the fiery world of his nightmares had failed to hold. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice cracking. 

“No, no, no. I don’t want you to be sorry. I just…” Tears filled her eyes. “I love you, okay?”

Adrien couldn’t say it back. He couldn’t find enough truth to shove into the sentiment—not when that was all buried beneath his own misery. It was like he’d returned to his nightmare, with smoke charring his throat and one all-consuming fear.

Just the tiniest wrong movement could ruin everything.

But if he didn’t give some kind of response, Marinette would only worry. So he tugged on her hand—maybe a little too hard considering her yelp of surprise—and guided her to sit between his legs. She moved readily into place, and Adrien forced himself to ignore the fear spiking through his veins, hugging her back to his chest.

Once settled, she twisted around and tried to crane her neck upwards, reaching a hand half-blindly up to his cheek. Heart squeezing in his chest, he tightened his grip around and pressed a kiss to her head. 

She remained tense for a moment too long, but finally sighed and melted back against his chest. Her hand trailed lazily back down to her side, and her breath spilled into a hum of contentment. With her gaze fixed firmly ahead, Adrien could finally breathe again.

He didn’t want her to see the few tears he’d finally let slip down his cheeks—even if she’d no doubt hear his sniffles or feel the way the cries rumbled in his chest. And he didn't want her to examine him to deeply, to discover what he already knew.

One day, he would surely disappoint her.

[rikkivoid]

winter kiss

[princington]

For now, she finds comfort in the way Ava settles in beside her. Beatrice rolls over to face her, arms wrapping her up and holding her close.

She balls her fists in Ava’s shirt, holding her and nuzzling her nose into Ava’s neck.

Beatrice gets so lost in the patterns that Ava’s fingers are tracing along her shoulders that she doesn’t even register the moment she falls asleep.

the bittersweet between my teeth ch 13 by @simplykorra

[yesnoidkiguess]

Walburga and Sirius from “back to the old house” by @saintlupin

for @rsbigbang <3

[nartothelar]

But for the vampire au, have you considered Emmet getting Severely Hurt™️ and Ingo turning him to keep his brother alive?

Or do they have an agreement to just let things happen?

“No.” Emmet responds simply, decisively.

The answer is expected and yet, the disappointment Ingo feels is an unwelcome heaviness, his constant frown turning genuine without it meaning to.

Ingo had asked the very same question thrice times now.

Once was when they were kids. It was casual inquiry that came with little prompting; he had asked out of curiosity more than anything. Ingo had asked Emmet after they had defeated a trio of challengers off hand. Emmet had laughed, light and airy, when he answered. They had gotten ice cream using their winnings after.

The second time had been following a much more harrowing experience. A safety check forgotten, a simple mistake by a depot agent newly hired, had resulted in a derailed train. Fortunately only a few were injured. Unfortunately, one of those few was Emmet.

Ingo had asked him with bags under his eyes, something quite silly since Ingo didn’t even need to sleep. (Was that makeup? Emmet had joked with an exhausted smile.)

Emmet, laying in that hospital bed, IV's in his arm and a cask around his left leg, had responded much the same, a chuckle rather than a laugh. Perhaps his headache had come back to manage much more than that. Ingo didn’t attempt to change his mind and offered him the chicken noodle soup Elesa had brought for him.

And the third time was right now: Ingo sitting across from Emmet in the dining room of their shared apartment. It was morning and even though the windows curtains were drawn, the room was illuminated with a soft glow. In front of his brother was a plate of eggs and toast, him nursing a cup of black coffee. In front of Ingo was just a cup of tea, untouched and cooling.

“But why don’t you want to be a vampire?”

“But why don’t you want to be a vampire?”

The way he asks shows his cards far to easily. Whoever had said Subway Boss Ingo was hard to read must have not tried at all.

His brother looks at him, assessing him, and then looks away.

Emmet is silent for a minute, simply gazing at the cup in front of him. His food was getting cold.

Most would think Emmet was being hesitant when answering, that this was a sign he didn’t want to answer at all. But Ingo knows him well. He knows he wants to go over what he will day and that he voices his thoughts properly.

Ingo is patient and waits. Finally, Emmet answers.

“I like the sun.” His brother says, looking at him. The color of his eyes haven’t dulled all these years. “It feels warm on my skin. It feels good.”

“I love eating. The taste, the action. Yup!" Emmet picks at his plate with a hum. "I want to eat what I like, when I like."

“I like my independence." Ingo's tea leaves an ashy taste as he sips it - a floral chamomile bag floats at the bottom of it. "I do not want to be dependent on others. I do not want to be dependent on things out of my control."

"I know that I will have to sometimes." Emmet really looks at him now. "And that is ok. But I still feel the same way.”

Ingo squeezes his mug, before he relaxes his grip. Emmet notices.

Emmet lays his palm on his chest, closing it into a fist near the middle.

“I like being human.” It sounds final, the words like a gavel to wood, the way it echoes in his mind. “I do not want to be a vampire.”

Ingo wants to argue. To convince him that the pros outweigh the insignificant cons, but he does not. No. Usually Ingo is more eloquent with his words, but the fear that rises up in his throat makes his usually well thought out words more brisk, more succinct, more honest as he says the obvious.

“But you are aging.” Ingo says. You are dying, Ingo tries, fails, and a refrains to add.

Ingo hands are smooth, his face without a wrinkle. He looks as the same as he as when he first became a subway boss. He has since he was sent to Hisui. Forever youthful. And Emmet.

Emmet's hands are calloused, wrinkled from years of maintenance at gear station. His hair is thinning and his temples were turning white. His stride not as brisk as it was years ago.

“I am.” Emmet replies. “And I will continue to age.”

Ingo knows Emmet. He is stubborn, just like himself. That is how he is. He knows he will not change his mind. And that makes him clench his jaw, look down at his cup with furrowed brow.

“Ingo.”

Ingo snaps his head up, fear turning to anger that makes him feel sick. He should not be angry, but he is.

“Then you plan to reach your final stop?” Emmet’s smile dims. Ingo continues anyway. “Leave this station?” Without me? Ingo clamps down before he utters the accusation.

“You....you will have me wait here for you to die? And do nothing?!”

And there it is. Ingo barring his greatest fear since he got turned. The thing that has plaguing his mind since he stood at the grave of his old clan leader in Hisui, at the cemetery where his other wardens were laid to rest. What he had realized as he saw time passes by, years of constant goodbyes and tearful farewells.

It was that, no matter how grand his ideals, the simple truth of the matter was that he was utterly powerless to the passage of time.

Ingo doesn't realize that he has stood up until he is already towering over Emmet's seated form. His fangs barred and he suspects his eyes are slits.

And despite that, Emmet looks calm. He looks...sad.

“I didn’t ask for this.” Ingo says softly, deflated as the anger leaves his body. To live on as those around him pass. To see enjoy his life without the people he cares most around him.

Ingo feels arms wrap around him and he wraps trembling arms around Emmet too, his head laying on his shoulder. They stay like that for a moment, simply holding each other, not letting go.

"I'm sorry I never gave you the choice." Emmet finally says. Ingo's hands grip at Emmet's shirt. "We were young. You were dying. And I was desperate. I did not want to lose you..."

Emmet pulls back after that, not all the way, but enough to look into Ingo's face. His fangs have retracted, his eyes normal again. "But those details do not matter now, do they?" Emmet sighs out, that sad smile still there.

"They matter. Of course they matter." Ingo protests, but he doesn't elaborate pass that.

Emmet looks at the floor, thinking about his words and looks at Ingo again before saying, "Everything reaches its final terminal."

"Not me." Ingo says. It comes out bitter.

"Everything does." Emmet repeats, shaking his head. He squeezes Ingo's forearm before he lets go. "I did not give you a choice. but you can choose for yourself now."

His brother’s crows feet, a result from decades worth of smiles, crinkle at the edges as he looks at him. "Just as I choose for myself."

Ingo dwells on those words, on what his brother is offering. A choice and a decision to make. Emmet looks at him and Ingo understands.

With a sigh (a concession, a compromise), Ingo nods and accepts Emmet's answer.

That heaviness Ingo feels is not fully gone from his mind, but it has lightened, the tension of the room dispersing like the morning fog.

Emmet notices, smiles, and sits back down to finish his breakfast. Ingo follows. And then the silence is filled anew with his brother's latest retelling of yet another dealing he had with a rude passenger yesterday.

Ingo listens and they both laugh and talk and all is right and as it should be that morning, in their shared moment of time.

Him and his brother were a two car train, always have been, no matter their differences. And no matter what, he was going to be there with him until his brother's final destination.

And then after that, once that engine has long gone cold, Ingo would decide when his last stop was too.

[no-see-um-incorrect]

Cinnamon sugar 

another BitterSweet Trio poly Fic!!! 🩷🍪🧡 Just in time for Valentine’s Day

Hope you enjoy

No TW this time (unless there’s something I missed then please tell me)

“…Al are you sure about this?” Seth‘s voice was filled with concern as he watches his boyfriend balancing precariously on a step ladder and a few books “almost…got it..HAHA!-WHOW!” Alphonse loses his footing and falls backwards into Seth’s arms much to the smaller man’s irritation “I got it~” Al waves a fairly large, seemingly handmade book in Seth’s face before hopping out of his arms

“holy shit! is that your pops old recipe book?” Al slides into the kitchen and tosses the recipe book on the counter and Seth hops on the stool “hell yeah it is! and I’m lucky my dad made these recipes dumbass proof” “why? He knew how to cook” “HE did. me and my Ma? Nah. Better have home insurance” seth laughed and Alphones fliped the pages. Each page felt sturdy, like they got stronger with age. “He practically drilled them in my head. said “your gonna need to make food for your loved ones one day”” seth smiled down at the book of recipes “....little did he know I’d still be feeding you” Al leant over the counter to kiss his forehead, seth's face turned bright red still not quite used to that….from either of them and i don't think he ever will. “Um i *ahem* why ya getting this stuff out?” al snickers at his reaction “bet he'd have never guessed id have two people to care for~” Al attempts to lean in for a kiss but seth pushes his face away “aw come on! No kiss for ya Boi!?” “you'll get a kiss when you can stay on task” al sighs and continues reading the recipe “french toast bake plus strawberries”

“so you wanna make breakfast as a surprise for sugar?” “I need some help....and you take direction well-OW!” Seth smacks Al’s shoulder then gestures to the book “okok!..there's a list of stuff here. You get that i'll get the bowls and shit”

“And in the oven it goes. see~ i told you we could cook without catching the house on fire” “hold on now theres still time during baking” they both laugh ending in a comfortable silence.

“I'm honestly surprised sugar aint’ up yet” “well that just means we have a little more time..got any ideas?” seth thinks for a moment a devious grin appearing across his face “...yea i got one” Al slides onto the counter in front of seth “oh yea and what's tha-HM” Seth pulls him into a kiss by the collar of his sweater. The kiss lasted a few seconds when seth pulls away “how's that as a kiss for “Ya Boi” sufficient enough?” a few seconds of silence and adoring eye contact before Al speaks up “......Your gay” “THIS is why i don't try” seth attempts to walk away but gets trapped by Al’s legs “Get back here cowboy~” Al wraps his arms around seth's neck “hey~ i love you” “i love you too ya goof” “im serious. Your the cinnamon to my cinnamon sugar toast OH and Boo’s the bread cause they bake And without them…we wouldn't be together” “aw Al….that’s really sweet” they press their foreheads together basking in the soft embrace of each other

“OK who turned off my alarm!”

They both chuckle hearing their partner from the other room “Good morning Boo!” “mornin’ sugar”

I hear sugarboo’s footsteps. Alphonse hops off the counter to avoid getting scolded “oOoO something smells good in here!” “Al got the bright idea to turn your alarm off and wake me up to make breakfast” “well I don’t see the fire extinguisher anywhere, so I’m assuming everything went smoothly” Sugarboo gives them both well-deserved kisses. and sits on the barstool. The timer went off, and Alphonse is very careful taking the dish out of the oven “happy Valentine’s Day Boo!” “holy shit! That looks really fucking good! Whose recipe did you use?!” “my dad’s. he used to keep a book of all of um’ and I wanted to cook some breakfast for my two favorite people” Seth wraps his arm around Alphonse’s waist. Boo smiles with adoration in their eyes looking at their boys

“you know I’m really proud of you two. Not just for cooking, but for making it this far. You make me feel so fucking lucky” they push themselves up and wrap their arms around Alphonse and Seth

“Happy Valentine’s Day boys” they hold each other tightly and contently

“aright now let’s eat I’m fucking starving”

——————————————————————

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone🫶

I hope you all are having a great day rather celebrating alone or with someone else

Hope you enjoyed this little thing with the boys

[difeisheng]

Fang Duobing wakes up with the dawn on the five thousandth morning since his life fractured, then restarted, and there is silver in Di Feisheng's hair.

"Go back to sleep," he feels Di Feisheng rumble, where Fang Duobing's chest is pressed to his back. His hand doesn't pause, continuing to feel through the long river of Di Feisheng's hair. He can't help it, that it's still striking even after these years since the first hint of grey appeared. Early light glows through the window, glinting off the streak woven in through the dark strands. Vein of precious metal set in stone.

Di Feisheng has survived four decades of defiant existence in this world, and now he wears something proud to show for it.

"You're getting old," Fang Duobing says, and smiles into the back of Di Feisheng's neck. "What happened to rising with the sun to train every morning?"

"You and your sleeping in happened, you spoiled brat." The words are softened by the fact that Di Feisheng doesn't counter the hand Fang Duobing moves from his hair to his waist, only letting out a deep sigh. "And now you won't even let me do that."

"It's called having variation. Keeps you sharp."

"Keeps me tired."

"You'll start getting slow next if you settle into your ways like this, lao-lang."

"If you insist on calling me old, then you should have some respect for your elders," Di Feisheng declares, and now Fang Duobing can hear the glare in his voice. "Be quiet."

Fang Duobing has cheerfully never listened to this particular request, and isn't about to start now. "I show my respect for you nearly every day. Maybe you'd even call it appreciation." He lets his hand on Di Feisheng's waist drift lower, under the blanket thrown over both of them. "I could demonstrate again though, if you'd like?"

This time Di Feisheng catches him, gently dragging his hand away before Fang Duobing can reach for his trousers. "Later," he says, and the words are low enough to be a growl. "Go. Back. To. Sleep."

"Fine." Fang Duobing replaces his hand, arm reaching over Di Feisheng's torso instead. Di Feisheng's own hand stays curled overtop his, stilling as Fang Duobing settles down again behind him, sword calluses rough against his knuckles. "But I'll hold you to it."

It's impulse that causes Fang Duobing to brush at Di Feisheng's hair one last time, sweeping the silver aside to touch his lips to his neck.

Di Feisheng is, seemingly, by the fall of his breath and the curve of his body into Fang Duobing's, already asleep once more.

[strangersteddierthings]

Daily Ficlet 7

I’m challenging myself to write a little ficlet every day, using the prompts from this list. Today’s prompt is recipe book.

-

Steve finds Wayne in the hallway, pulling what items he can from the closet there.

"Need some help?" Steve asks as Wayne struggles with a bigger box that seems wedged in pretty good.

"Sure. Just get yer hands up here and ready to catch," Wayne answers, shimmying the box to and fro while Steve moves to follow his instructions. The box isn't by any means light when it falls into his hands, but it's not the heaviest thing Steve's had to catch -don't think about it, don't think about Eddie's limp body awkwardly shoved through a gate. Don't-

"Thanks, son," Wayne climbs back down the stepladder he was on and takes the box from Steve' hands, walking down the hall to place it on the counter. The front half of the trailer is missing, the gate took it, but a decent amount of of the trailer remains (Eddie's room remains) and the government has finally allowed Wayne to return to pack up what he can.

It's better than starting over completely.

"What's in the box?" Steve asks, because it's the only item Wayne hasn't just demanded he load into the moving truck outside.

"It was supposed to be Eddie's graduation gift," Wayne says softly. "'Suppose it'll have to be a 'glad you woke up from yer coma' gift instead."

"Yeah," Steve says, even if he doesn't believe it. Eddie's been asleep months now. They saved the world, killed Vecna, closed the gates, Max woke up, and the kids have started Sophomore year; Eddie remains comatose. "Can I get a sneak peak at the present?"

"It's not much, and ain't nothin' new," Wayne says, opening the box and beginning the process of pulling things out. It looks a bit like the contents of a hope chest. Things to start living on your own with. Robin's mom has one for her that Steve's seen, and even contributed to. There's an envelope of $500 tucked along the side of Robin's chest.

"This was his grandpa's. My dad's," Wayne says, pulling out a belt buckle. "And my ma made this, not for anyone in particular, mind you, but just because she liked to keep herself busy." It's a blanket, thick and a little scratchy when Steve touches it. "And this. This is the most important." Wayne pulls out a binder from the bottom of the box, handing it over to Steve for inspection.

He takes it carefully even though it looks sturdy. Holding it in one hand, he flips it open. He was thinking maybe it would be a photo album or something but it's not. It looks like a recipe book. All the recipes are hand written on looseleaf paper, with post it notes sticking out randomly. "What makes this special?"

"That's his mom's handwriting," Wayne smiles but he sounds sad. "Eddie lost her when he was five. She got real sick, y'know, and never got better. But she wrote out all them recipes. I'm amazed Al kept the thing, but I guess I shouldn't be. No real value in a binder of recipes 'cept to the people close to the author."

Steve looks back down at the binder. He still has both his parents, however distant they might be, so he doesn't know if he'll ever fully understand the significance of getting this piece of someone back. "Does he not have anything else with her writing on it?"

"No, not writing. We got plenty of things they used to own. Eddie's caseworker let us go through the whole house, after Al'd been shipped off to the penitentiary, to gather anything Eddie might want or need. Was supposed to just be his stuff, mind you, legally speakin', but I think that lady knew if we didn't take other stuff, Eddie'd never see it again.

"So, Eddie's got things that were hers. But nothing that's uniquely hers. There's jewelry, and a coupla blankets, but all that stuff is replaceable and not... Well, I dunno what I'm tryin' to say, but that's just stuff that was hers. But this. This was her. Y'understand?"

And Steve does. There's a difference between having something that belonged to someone once, and something that really feels like them when you hold it. Steve doesn't have anything like that, personally, but he knows there will come a time when the difference matters. When everyone grows up and scatters into the future. He imagines a hand written letter from Dustin will mean much more for him to find after a long time of no contact than it would to find his old Roast Beef t-shirt in the back of a drawer or something, moth bitten and musty.

"I can't wait to find out if Eddie's an angry emotional, or a sad one."

Wayne laughs. "He can be both."

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 1

-Imagine that after John Wick wins his freedom from the High Table, he [re]retires to your sleepy little mountain town, where you work in a coffee shop...

-Your quaint little town tucked in the mountains is the kind of place people go to get away from it all, and you can’t help but wonder what Mr. Wick is running from. He is an unfairly handsome man. You nearly make a huge fucking fool of yourself, the first time he approaches your counter, so taken that you could hardly speak. For all his good looks there is something compellingly melancholy about him. You see it in his soulful dark eyes, and the set of his shoulders. You can see this man carries a weight beyond what anyone of his years should bear.   

-He becomes a regular at your little coffee shop, and you get over your shyness with him. He’s soft spoken, sometimes a little grumpy, but usually impeccably courteous compared to some of your unbearably entitled clientele visiting from the Big City for the ski resort or the hiking. He never orders anything fancy, just black coffee, and he likes to stay for an hour or so in the cozy cabin atmosphere of your shop. He favors a corner table tucked in the back by the river-stone fireplace, usually reading an old book, though sometimes you think he just sits, his attention fixed beyond the page he’s on, eyes not really seeing the room.

-You manage not to stare too hard, when you see him without gloves for the first time, and realize he is missing his left ring finger. You are not repulsed. You just wonder what happened to him.

-In time you notice he barely touches his unadorned coffee, and you wonder if he even likes it. You don't know where you get the cheek to tease this so-serious man. “Do you just order it like that to match your clothes?” You’ve never seen him in anything but head to toe black.

At first he looks at you as though you have grown a second head. Then he answers, completely dead pan, “Maybe it matches my soul.” 

You snort with laugher, not believing him.

Maybe you should have, looking back.

“Sure, Mr. Wick.”

The next day you surprise him with a cup of something you concocted with him in mind. It's nothing too scathingly original. Just a dark chocolate mocha, with a splash of hazelnut, and just a bit of steamed cream. “Try this,” you say, setting it on his table totally unsolicited. You feel validated, for he's barely touched his black coffee again. 

“What is it?” he asks, peering at it suspiciously. 

“I just think you might need something a little sweet.” 

He looks up at you through his long hair, and you don't know why, but a little chill runs down your spine. It's not fear, exactly. It's like walking in the woods, and stumbling on a powerful animal on the trail. Something that maybe could eat you, if it chose, but instead just disappears back into the dark trees.

You do not pester him anymore that day, even if it is the highlight of your shift sometimes. But when you go to clean up his dishes you do notice the cup you gave him is empty. 

He doesn’t come in for almost a week after that, and you fear that maybe you were too pushy and pissed him off with your boldness. 

Maybe it's a little pathetic, the way your heart leaps when he walks through the door again.

“I’ll have…whatever that thing was you made the other day.”

You try not to gloat, but your lips twist in a smile.

-It becomes your little mission in life to make this man smile, and if just the corner of his mouth ticks up at some point during his visit you feel as though you’ve accomplished a good thing.

Maybe it’s totally a cliché, but you’re an artist, and when you’re not making coffee, or cleaning up coffee, you draw bright designs on the chalkboard around the menu with your pastels. You make elaborate landscapes and art nouveau maidens inspired by Mucha. People in town seem to enjoy your weekly designs, which is nice, even if it’s not entirely the recognition you crave. Four years of art school just to doodle on the chalkboard, you can hear your father say. He’s not wrong, but it still stings.

One day, you sketch Mr. Wick reading in the corner on the back of a discarded receipt. He is…such a lovely man. When you walk past you slip it on the table for him. You don’t let yourself watch his reaction. If you had, you would have seen his expression soften, the stony façade cracking even if just for a moment.

Is this how you see him? Not some broken down old man, the way he absolutely feels after his war with the High Table, but something…not unpleasant to look at.

You don’t know it at the time, but this is the action that sets off an avalanche. You wake a sleeping beast in him, and a dark obsession begins to kindle.

[nburkhardt]

“I’m sorry, but I don’t like you like that”

He doesn’t know what hurts more, this or the memories of ‘our love is bullshit, you’re bullshit’ in his ears as he ignores the burn of his eyes. Ignores the stares and the silence.

He faintly wonders if maybe this is a curse, if he’s destined to be alone and that everyone he’ll ever love just can’t love him back.

Maybe it really is him?

Before anything else is said, he leaves. He doesn’t hear the shouts, doesn’t hear the apologies or the waits. Can’t handle being there anymore.

His eyes are burning, his heart is gone and he’s done.

Hawkins is a curse, all it holds for him is hurt and pain. He needs to leave, needs to be away. Wants to leave, wants to be away.

He feels the hand of someone on his arm and he doesn’t remember stopping, blinks hard to see past the tears. It takes only a few minutes to find Robin standing there, also with tears in her eyes. Her mouth is moving but his ears aren’t working, still buzzing with “I don’t like you like that” and a faint “you’re bullshit” ringing along side it.

Shaking his head, shutting his eyes tight. He leans his head against her shoulder and shakes, cries and feels her pull him close. Holds him tight and he curls his arms around her, trying to stop the tears and sobs.

“Oh, Stevie, I’m so fucking sorry. I’m here, I know it hurts.”

He clutches her tight and he sobs. This isn’t how this was supposed to go. He could’ve sworn- he really thought- really thought this was it. This was it, he thought he had a chance. Really.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“It’ll be okay, I swear. You’ll find someone, someone who loves you just as much as you love them. And I love you so much, Stevie. You are everything to me and you deserve it”

He shakes his head, it’s not true. He did find someone and they tore his heart out and called it bullshit and stomped all over it. He found another and they picked his broken heart up and decided to toy with it before ripping it to shreds with a simple “I don’t like you like that” and it’s so, it’s so juvenile.

“Yeah, yeah it is. And you know what? Fuck him, fuck him and everything about it. You can do so much better, I swear. Okay? Do you hear me, Steve? Do you?”

That’s when it slams into him, he was speaking out loud in between sobs and Robin was speaking to him. He nods and thinks hard at what she said, “I can’t Robs, I can’t do this anymore” he whispers and maybe even whimpers a bit, “I- It hurts so fucking much, I can’t be here anymore”

She pulls away and cups his face, his vision is still blurry but he can see that her face is red with tears too, “then we leave, we’ll leave. Okay? We can go anywhere. We can- we can just say fuck Hawkins and find something new- something bright and colorful. Find somewhere, where you can shine”

He can’t help but choke on a laugh and a sob, tries to shake his head. Stopped only because Robin holds him still, “We- I can’t do that to you-“

“You aren’t, Steve. I’m doing this for you.” She smiles and pulls his head closer to place a kiss to his forehead, “All this town has given you is pain and heartbreak, I’m calling it. We’re leaving”

“Isn’t that just- just running away?”

She shakes her head and pulls him close into a hug, “Even if it is, you deserve to run. We’ll pack up all of our things, either say goodbye or don’t, but we’re leaving. I can’t stand around and watch you break again. I can’t let you stick around longing and hoping that maybe fucking Eddie Munson decides to change his mind. I will not let him break you again”

There’s nothing he can say to that, he just hides his face in her shoulder. Holding onto her to keep himself from falling even more apart, listening to her hum and sway him to help him calm down. To stop from breaking even further, she whispers and promises him that she’s here. She’s not going anywhere.

And he believes her. She is his soulmate but he’s still hurting. He doesn’t know when it will stop, if they leave tomorrow it’ll still be broken. He’ll still faintly hear the “I don’t like you like that” mixed in with “you’re bullshit” in the back of his head. Doesn’t know if when he’ll not hear those phrases, doesn’t know if he’ll ever get their faces out of his head when they said it out either.

It hurts and his heart is in shreds. Being held together by his soulmate and maybe with her it’ll be protected.

~~~~

I’m sorry 🥲