#sorry to bring negativity here i just dont want my partners to see

[quietly-sweetly-yearning]

this breakdown is not mine to have

i’m sorry

this hurt is not mine to suffer from

i’m sorry

[miraculouscontent]

Are you gonna do an analysis or review of Chat Blanc? (Just curious please dont feel pressured to)

This could’ve just been a fun what-if episode that didn’t have anything to do with the main universe, but nooooooooooo.

[Counter Clockwise]

Let’s get the obvious out of way right here and now.

This is the second time we’ve seen Bunnyx this season, making this the second time that time travel has been involved, also in this season (not counting episodes where Second Chance is used).

This is also the second time we’ve had an episode with its events being scrubbed away by the main characters not knowing exactly what happened, similar to “Oblivio” (also in Season 3). It’s not the same plot-wise, but it carries the familiar tone of, “something was left behind in memory of the episode but it’s not anything good” (yes, we’ll get there).

For “Oblivio,” it was that freaking kiss that was spread around on the Ladyblog despite Ladybug being horrified by it and not remembering how it happened.

For “Chat Blanc” here, it was Ladybug’s estimate of how Chat knew her identity in the parallel universe.

And it’s not like this season hasn’t repeated things before. Although “Party Crasher” did introduce Roi Singe, the introduction was rushed and it was just an excuse to get mileage out of Viperion, Pegase, and Carapace one last time a big mess that didn’t need to exist. “The Puppeteer 2″ also had nothing to do with anything and retread the plot point from “Frozer” where Marinette re-learned that Adrien was already in love with someone while also repeating an akuma just like “Stormy Weather 2,” “Gamer 2.0,” “Reflekdoll,” and eventually “Felix” did.

It’s… not a good look, and that’s not even taking into account that this is also the second time that Adrien has presumed that Marinette is Ladybug, with the first example being “Kwamibuster” (technically “Weredad” too considering that’s another episode involving Marinette trying to protect her identity, but Chat didn’t actually have any presumptions there and Marinette just thought he did).

Speaking of “Kwamibuster,” actually, I do believe that “Chat Blanc” goes before “Kwamibuster” (despite production order, which I still view as invalid) because, like… why wouldn’t Plagg bring up that episode when Adrien is rambling since I simply do not believe that Adrien wouldn’t have told Plagg about Marinette being Multimouse and Ladybug being there next to her. I mean, I don’t think much of Adrien, but even I don’t think that Adrien would be dense/dumb enough to just forget that “Kwamibuster” happened.

“Chat Blanc” takes place late in the season because of the “intensity” of it and that’s about it. It doesn’t have any plot-relevant reasons to be put so close to the finale. Nothing important happens that stays important by the end of the episode, and Bunnyx just leaves in the end with no information known.

Even with the information that was in the parallel universe… well…

[All in Bad Time]

First off, not gonna lie; I feel legitimately bad for anyone who held out hope that Gabriel was redeemable.

I mean, it’s not like there’s nothing good in the parallel universe. For once, we got Tom actually taking charge and really defending Marinette. That was nice.

Outside of that though, it’s a bit of a wreck.

Since I already mentioned Gabriel, I might as well start with him. Now, I openly admit to being a very unforgiving person; there tends to be a certain threshold where I point at a character and note that there’s no going back for them and nothing they do will get me to like them or consider them worthy of redemption.

Now, already, I had passed that point in terms of Gabriel, but dang, this episode really goes all the way with making you hate this guy.

Like, after “Simon Says” with Gabriel hugging Adrien, “Queen Wasp” with him quitting and hugging Adrien (sensing a pattern of sorts), and then “Gorizilla” with Gabriel (as Hawk Moth) panicking over Adrien (that one was… weird, admittedly), and also “Mayura” with Hawk Moth telling Gorizilla to protect Adrien, one would think that Hawk Moth has - y'know - standards. We already knew that he didn’t have consistency, but we thought that he at least had standards.

Yeaaaah, not really.

For starters, we have Marinette here and, I gotta say, this is similar to the thing I said about Reflekdoll where it’s just… no fun to have a character with no real limits/preferences? Adrien is obviously going to be the big one here concerning Gabriel, but Marinette is a problem too.

Back in Seasons 1 and 2, Gabriel seemed to have a decent enough opinion of Marinette. He was impressed by her hat (and later goes to compliment her again in “Queen Wasp”), he preferred her to Chloe in “Frightningale,” and even in “The Collector,” he lets her off with no punishment whatsoever when she claims to have stolen Adrien’s book.

But then Season 3 drops, and Gabriel tries to akumatize Marinette multiple times, all with varying degrees of failure. He has no issue teaming up with Lila to go against Marinette, and there’s really no motive for it aside from his schtick of claiming that so-and-so will be his “masterpiece.”

Now, if “Queen Wasp” was before “The Collector,” then maybe I’d understand (because Gabriel would be set up to have a negative opinion of Marinette since she stole the grimoire), but it can’t be because “The Collector” was Gabriel’s reveal as Hawk Moth. It’d also make sense if Gabriel just wanted to akumatize Marinette because she’s alluded his akuma all this time (which has been a common fan joke anyway), but that’s not what’s happening.

And then there’s the fact that Gabriel’s plan to akumatize Marinette here is to have her break up with his son. I’d understand if there was an actual reason for them to break up - then Gabriel is really just capitalizing on an opportunity and would’ve demanded that she break up with him anyway - but there’s no in-plot reason given outside of Gabriel wanting to akumatize her.

Heck, it wouldn’t even be that hard. Adrien might just be shirking some of his responsibilities to date Marinette, or sneaking out to spend time with her/generally not being at home as often. Chat already has a reputation for forgetting about basically everything when he’s around the girl that he loves and the Adrienette ship seems constantly stuck in “honeymoon phase” while they’re dating, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Adrien is wholly out of it.

The problem in this episode is that we just don’t have enough information. Adrien tells us that he’s not going to tell Ladybug anything and then he goes to confess to Marinette, but that’s about all we’re given to chew on. Does Ladybug tell Chat that she’s dating? Does Chat say that he’s dating someone too and just compliments “his girlfriend” a bunch for whenever Ladybug eventually figures out his identity? Does Chat stay vague in case Ladybug falls for Chat too?

(By the way, just sayin’, I see no reason why Marinette shouldn’t have told Adrien about what Gabriel said and no reason why Adrien wouldn’t demand to know anyway; also, Adrien would’ve 100% impulsively ran away from home had Marinette told him what his father said to her. “I’m living my life as Chat Noir now, m’lady.” and then proceed to not care about his father at all. “Gamer 2.0″ already showed that Ladybug is just the most important thing to him and “Frozer” showed that he wanted to live on an island with just her, so yeah, episode resolved there, end of story, too big of a plothole to leave unanswered, please fill.)

Adrien learning Ladybug’s identity is a big deal yet it’s brushed off as nothing (because the big turning point instead is Gabriel learning that his son is Chat Noir). Honestly, had it just been a Ladrien episode instead (i.e: Adrien dating Ladybug instead of Marinette), very little would’ve changed about the actual plot and it would’ve actually made sense for Gabriel to want Ladybug to dump Adrien because Ladybug is his number one enemy (all of his attempts to get close enough to snatch her miraculous would be in vain) and an akumatized Ladybug would’ve been an actual masterpiece.

Point being, for Gabriel to do this when we have no information is bizarre, and doubly so considering the fact that Adrien is clearly happy dating Ladybug Marinette. Even if his plan is to akumatize Marinette and then just tell her to date Adrien again afterward, that’s not stated outright and also isn’t supported by the narrative considering that Gabriel is perfectly fine beating up his own son.

(I also see some potential bad press when reporters hear about the break-up and either demand questions or spread rumors.)

And I’m sorry (I’m not really sorry), but I do not understand Hawk Moth’s strategy here. Yes, Adrien being Chat Noir makes it easier to get his miraculous, but also, two things–

1 - Gabriel could’ve just taken Adrien’s ring in his sleep; yes, akumatizing him would help him get under Ladybug’s skin, but first, how does unlimited destruction get him the miraculous if Chat Blanc’s Cataclysm destroys the miraculous too (he’s been stupid before about this with stuff like Reflekta (Desperada and Party Crasher at least had insurance policies) but from an episode with so much hype riding on it, I expect Hawk Moth to use his brain a little), and second, Chat is Ladybug’s main partner. Ladybug is not defenseless without him, but he’s not completely useless to her either.

If Gabriel can just keep Adrien (who wouldn’t know who took his ring) locked away from Ladybug long enough to make another akuma, Ladybug will have no idea that her partner won’t show up and also won’t be able to go find the guardian to get more miraculouses once she realizes it, because Mayura and the akuma will certainly chase after her. She’ll be all on her own.

In addition, Gabriel can lure Adrien to the room with Emilie after taking his ring, then throw the exposition at him before offering his ring back if he agrees to help (still scummy, but not as irredeemable). That means that Ladybug won’t be around to tell Chat not to fall under Hawk Moth’s control whICH BY THE WAY–

Hawk Moth, in the actual episode, doesn’t even hold Ladybug back. What’s stopping Ladybug from getting the bell away from Chat or telling Chat to tear the bell off (if it worked for Chloe, it’ll work for Chat)? Even if touching an akumatized object gets Hawk Moth in Ladybug’s head too, she can either use her yoyo to break it (considering that her fist broke the bell in the episode itself) or just grab the bell anyway and smash it (because I don’t think Ladybug would fall under Hawk Moth’s control alongside Chat). I know we’ve never seen what happens if you break an object while the person is still pre-akumatized, and it made sense in “Zombizou” because she wasn’t Ladybug and couldn’t purify the akuma, but Ladybug shouldn’t be part of this equation and it adds too many questions. 

2 - Now, of course, I’m not experienced in villainy, but I’m pretty sure that the first rule of getting someone on one’s side is to not being a complete moron who beats them senseless first and then expects them to join.

I vaguely understand that Hawk Moth’s strategy was (probably) to just destroy Chat enough mentally so he’d be akumatizable whether or not Emilie was convincing on her own, but when he’s so sadistic about it, positively gleeful when he realizes that his son is Chat Noir, it seems less like a strategy and more like him not only favoring the wish over his own son, but also getting joy out of hitting Chat around as if he feels like Adrien wronged him by being Chat Noir and now Adrien needs to be punished (which would’ve been nice for him to say since Adrien already knows that he’s Hawk Moth by that point anyway).

I just have no idea what the intention was there. It felt like the episode wanted to have it both ways where Chat was conflicted enough to not reject the akuma, but also throw in the angst and “drama” of Hawk Moth hitting him around (after that opening where he acted as if he wanted Emilie to come back for both of them and not just him) because hey, Adrien’s life is sad, his mom is comatose and the fact that he’s about to kill everyone isn’t enough.

And then, as if that wasn’t already ridiculous enough, they have Chat Blanc be torn on who to shoot with his destructive powers. I understand that Hawk Moth is the one who akumatized him, but we’ve seen from Robostus that akumas CAN go against Hawk Moth. Yes, Hawk Moth is his father, but he’s now a physically abusive father (who is constantly “too busy” for him and tried to keep him from being happy which, again, we don’t know if Adrien knows but I don’t see why Marinette wouldn’t tell him; it would hurt Adrien, sure, but he should still know that his father is trying to sabotage them anyway. The episode cuts straight to Hawk Moth going against Ladybug and Chat Noir, but did Hawk Moth literally come up with this plan on the spot, because Marinette had more than enough time to tell Adrien otherwise!) and the love of his life.

Tough choices, I guess.

And then Chat Blanc just ends up killing everyone anyway, so it doesn’t even matter. He could’ve ultimately chosen Hawk Moth to fire at, but his destructive powers were so strong that he couldn’t control it (which would’ve been better once non-parallel Ladybug fights him, showing that he at least trained because he doesn’t want to destroy anything outside of his target).

It reads like a plot that’s being angst-y just to be angst-y (this episode will get no “edgy points” from me when it doesn’t know how to use that angst properly), and it’s not at all necessary.

Hawk Moth knocks Adrien out of the mansion because non-parallel Ladybug needed to find the Cataclysm’d version of her parallel self (which, by the way, how has Chat not found that already/tried to touch it himself, meaning it’d be already gone?) to make the audience wonder about what exactly happened, since non-parallel Ladybug stumbling upon this room with Hawk Moth, herself, and Emilie freaking Agreste would’ve actually been interesting and given the episode some semblance of value where Marinette either re-considers Gabriel to be Hawk Moth or just generally wonders if Hawk Moth himself took Emilie away for some reason (and later finding out that the peacock is damaged and realize that oh, if that happened to Emilie, then the person who has the butterfly is–).

Chat Blanc is crazy because angst, he’s losing his mind after being alone for an undisclosed amount of time. Bunnyx just leaves Ladybug there with no information (oh, and a comment about needing to jump back in time in case she fails because no one has faith in Marinette - we’ll get there - or Ladybug apparently) and an insane Chat Noir who wants her miraculous despite knowing that Miraculous Ladybug already fixes everything once the akuma is dealt with, meaning he can then worry about his comatose mother and the wish (y’know, the wish that Ladybug told him wouldn’t work as he wants right before she died, not that I expect him to listen to her anymore), but no, he’s insane because that’s boring and ensures that he doesn’t think about the obvious solution or the fact that another Ladybug probably isn’t going to come back if he kills this one too.

Like, just saying; if it’s the akuma making his personality that way where he wants the miraculouses that badly (which is dumb since he’s already seen that his destructive powers destroy the miraculous too, yet he’s still mindlessly trying to kill Ladybug because drama), then my question is how his love for Ladybug doesn’t override that when he already killed her and thought there was no coming back until this other Ladybug showed up (and also the fact that her kiss was the thing that distracted him long enough for her to snatch the bell, so her love worked eventually anyway but come on). Either he’s crazy because of the akuma or he’s crazy because of being alone, and neither are all that interesting because, again, the akuma being purified can still get the result he wants. Threatening to kill Ladybug if she doesn’t hand over the miraculouses won’t solve anything and his chances are better when he’s not akumatized.

And here’s the thing: I’m honestly in favor of episodes that explore the what-ifs, but not in this way; not with Bunnyx and time travel and needing to “save the future” or whatever. If it has to involve this “Bad End” scenario where there’s no other way out except for another Ladybug to swoop in and save the day, then that’s fine, but it has to roll with the needed care and limitations that come with that and also forward the plot and make it matter if everything else is just going to be scrubbed away in the end. I mean, the lesson “hey, Marinette, don’t let Adrien know your identity” (yes, we’ll talk about the “real” lesson later) is bafflingly pointless being taught to someone who already took secret identities very seriously and literally had an episode in the same season that showed the leaps and bounds she took to protect that identity.

Oh, and speaking of Adrien knowing her identity–

[Identity Politics]

Uggggggggggggggggggh, Adrien, why does it always seem to come to you.

So now we’re at the big start of all this chaos: Adrien determining that Marinette is Ladybug and then proceeding to go after her romantically.

I should preface this by saying that, no, I don’t wholly blame Adrien for wanting to pursue Marinette romantically. He’s a teenager and I legitimately believe that he thinks that he loves Marinette now and has always loved her and blah blah blah whatever. Adrien sometimes has this habit of rationalizing out his own thoughts with himself to make them seem more reasonable, and I imagine that’s what’s happening here.

…What I do blame him for, however, is not telling Marinette that he knows her identity and casually shrugging the notion off as if everything’s going to be okay. I mean, we all knew that Chat had always wanted to do an identity reveal (basically from all the way back in “Lady Wifi”), but we didn’t know that Chat would just not tell Ladybug if he found out without her knowledge. It’d be one thing if Adrien felt guilty about it (i.e: not wanting her to potentially get in trouble and wanting to stay as Chat because that’s his freedom), but instead, he just mentions it to Plagg once and it’s never heard from again until he’s forced to transform in front of Marinette.

Because we don’t see how Ladybug and Chat’s relationship is changed, we as an audience have no idea if Adrien even regrets that decision at all. Even after Chat uses Cataclysm on the butterfly, he doesn’t apologize at all even though this mess could’ve been prevented had Marinette been able to tell him about what Gabriel was doing by transforming into Ladybug and explaining it to him while he’s Chat.

There’s also the fact that Adrien comes to this “Marinette = Ladybug” conclusion basically out of nowhere. Ladybug may’ve delivered the gift to him and it has Marinette’s name signed onto it (which Plagg even suggests himself as a perfectly reasonable argument), but Adrien has no proof that Ladybug signed it herself (could’ve been fixed if Adrien had something with Ladybug’s signature on it and noted that the style was the same), and the on-screen examples we’re given (”Evillustrator,” “Frightningale,” and “Glaciator”) don’t show that Ladybug had any feelings for Adrien specifically; the latter just showed that she had feelings for a boy.

Adrien isn’t even coming to this conclusion because he saw Marinette running away with the gift earlier (i.e: to transform) since he doesn’t remember seeing her later in the episode when Ladybug lies and says that she’s delivering it for someone else. He didn’t even point out that it was odd that Marinette had the gift in the first place, meaning that scene was entirely pointless.

It’s not that Adrien blindly hoping for things isn’t part of his character (he’s been hoping for Ladybug’s love from the beginning), but to suddenly go off on this without a thought while Plagg is reminding him what the risk is here…. s’dumb. Plagg is clearly concerned about it but decides not to go to Fu and just let Adrien do whatever he wants despite the gamble Adrien’s taking.

I also don’t know whose idea it was to think it’s okay to have production codes dictate episode order when “Kwamibuster” is before “Chat Blanc.” “Kwamibuster” is such an easy thing for Plagg to bring up here and it’s not even mentioned. 

And while we’re on the subject anyway, I might as well point out that Adrien isn’t just going after Marinette because she’s Ladybug. No, that’s not enough for him, because we saw in “Kwamibuster” that Adrien had basically no reaction to the scenario of Marinette being Ladybug.

The difference here is that Marinette’s gift is covered in hearts - a declaration of love - and that’s when Adrien makes the big jump.

It’s not, “Wow, my lady is Marinette and that’s awesome because they’re both amazing girls and I love them both,” it’s, “WOW, my lady is in love with me (and she’s Marinette too, I guess), I better jump on that.”

(Because Adrien coming up with similar traits they have that makes them the same would’ve been actually sweet instead of him conjuring up a fantasy just because it’s convenient for him.)

Ladybug being Marinette was irrelevant; it was Ladybug (who happened to be Marinette) being in love with Adrien that gave Adrien the encouragement he needed to pursue Marinette.

It’s even technically supported by the fact that Adrien doesn’t go to Fu. If Adrien realizes that Marinette is Ladybug, then that’s it; he doesn’t need her to be Ladybug anymore, and it’s not like he can date her as Chat anyway. Adrien might still want to be Chat Noir, but since the episode focuses so heavily on the Adrienette stuff, I literally don’t know why he’s bothering risking this stuff. Ladybug has even expressed distaste before concerning balancing her hero life, so maybe he’d think she’d want to be away from it (not that I would expect Adrien to remember that but stick with me here).

This is also supported by episodes like “The Puppeteer 2″ and “Ladybug,” where Chat is quick to flip as soon as Ladybug goes in for a kiss or confesses her love to him.

He doesn’t want Ladybug; he wants Ladybug’s love.

And as for how that affects Marinette herself…

[Marifret]

You know…

YOU KNOW–

Every time I think that this season is out of ideas for tormenting Marinette, it just comes up with another. It starts to feel like the writers just have assorted “how to torment Marinette” ideas that they have stored in a little box at the office that they’re constantly plucking out and then dumping into random episodes whenever they feel like it.

Marinette is the only one who gets anything out of this episode because she’s the only one who remembers the important stuff from it, and it’s not even anything good.

Not only did Marinette not need to concern herself with learning more about how important it is to keep her identity a secret, but the Lucky Charm gave her an eraser, explicitly to erase her name on the gift.

Because Ladybug didn’t need to erase her name. She could’ve either gone back further in time and not let her other self get wrapped up in exploring Adrien’s room (the Lucky Charm could’ve been lipstick to hint to Ladybug that she should distract Chat with an almost-kiss to get his akuma, and then Ladybug could’ve still gone through similar motions to realize that Adrien saw her past self leaving his room), or simply told Adrien that Marinette couldn’t get past Nathalie, so she was asked to deliver it instead.

But no. Instead, Lucky Charm explicitly gives her an eraser as if to say, “this is all your fault and erasing your name off your gift will fix everything.”

Even Bunnyx, in the midst of watching the flashbacks, asks, “What did you do, Marinette?!” which just immediately sets up the entire narrative as being Marinette’s fault.

Not Adrien’s fault because he kept everything a secret and presumed that Ladybug was Marinette despite having no visual proof of that.

Not Plagg’s fault for not going to Fu about it.

Not Hawk Moth’s fault for beating up his son and trying to akumatize him.

It’s all on Marinette. All of it.

All because she wanted to confess to a boy that she liked and lingered a little too long in his room.

So all the hard work Marinette put into the hat she made for Adrien doesn’t even matter, just like the scarf she made all the way back in “Bubbler.” It’s just another wasted effort on Marinette’s part.

Even in the parallel universe, she doesn’t get any time to process her thoughts. After Adrien confesses, the next scene with the parallel-Adrienette is the montage, with Marinette being completely unaware that Adrien confessed to her because she was Ladybug.

On an unrelated note since I’m talking about the montage anyway, this episode gives Kagami the dignity of a simple name drop only to then put Luka right in the background as Adrien and Marinette slow dance together. Like, writers, COME ON, show him some actual RESPECT.

There’s also the fact that Chat “I’d recognize my lady in an instant except for all those times I didn’t” Noir has already rejected Marinette in “Weredad,” and I mean firmly rejected, with no doubt as to how little he feels towards Marinette and how much he feels towards Ladybug. We’ve had the “just a friend” gag for three whole seasons now and then “Chat Blanc” comes along to have Marinette believe that Adrien is in love with her.

And when Chat reveals that he already knew she was Ladybug, again, no contemplation on Marinette’s part. She gets seconds to think about it before just collapsing into Chat’s arms because the episode gives her no time because that’s not important to the episode itself. Marinette (presumably) doesn’t even get to know that Adrien only wanted to confess to her upon realizing that she’s Ladybug.

Then we have this repeated problem where we don’t know the time frame. Did Marinette want to go to Fu? Did Chat convince her not to, and if so, why? What’s Tikki’s view in all of this and how was she convinced to let the subject go? Did Hawk Moth show up almost immediately, so Marinette’s only had time to leave and transform for what she thought could be the final battle, meaning that it wouldn’t be necessary to go to Fu?

We have no idea. The only things the episode makes time for concerning Marinette/Ladybug (in addition to a dumb joke about birthday presents that were definitely not crucial to the plot) are her being excited to be in Adrien’s room, her looking like a fool in front of Adrien as she lies, Chat Blanc yelling at her about how tHEiR loVe caused everyone in Paris to die, and her getting berated after feeling self-conscious for not delivering Adren’s gift.

Oh, and just BY THE WAY, going back to the beginning of the episode since I brought it up, can we just not with Marinette’s friends PLACING BETS on whether or not Marinette is going to confess to Adrien? Can we just not with them making a game out of Marinette’s anxiety and self-esteem issues concerning whether or not Adrien will love her?

It’s already bad enough that we get jokes and gags about the universe itself being against her, but now with have this.

This… horrible, horrible thing.

Oh, and of course, the moment where we see Rose finally go off on someone, looking absolutely enraged while doing so, it’s Marinette she’s going off at and almost physically hurting when she nearly slammed the lid of the basket down on Marinette’s wrist.

Not because Marinette self-deprecated and Rose is actually just “angrily” shouting about how amazing she is and how Adrien would be a fool to reject her feelings.

Not because Rose has been given some “tough love” advice beforehand and thinks that it’ll be best for Marinette, only to feel really bad about it afterward even if it worked.

No, it’s because… Rose lost her favorite stuffed animal in the bet and she’s mad about it. That’s it. She’s taking it out on Marinette for something she did.

And no, I don’t believe for one second that the stuffed animal had nothing to do with it; it had everything to do with it. I mean, come on, the fact that the day Rose went off just happened to be the day she lost her stuffed animal in a bet?

I totally acknowledge that it’s probably yet another joke berating Marinette for the hesitance that she apparently has to have, but one, it’s a waste of time that could’ve been spent elsewhere, and two, maybe the episode shouldn’t be fitting in its jokes and gags in something that’s supposed to be taken seriously. It’s not “Party Crasher” levels of tone whiplash but it’s still annoying to see Paris destroyed and then have Chat Blanc follow up with a Kamehameha Cataclysm.

And this is even ignoring the fact that Alix is extremely smug about it and happily takes Rose’s favorite stuffed animal, not at all ashamed that she was so confidently doubtful of someone who’s supposed to be her friend as long as she was right in the end.

Also doubly ignoring the fact that Marinette’s friends have had a history of behaving terribly concerning Marinette’s crush on Adrien (of which I have repeatedly documented) and they never once think for a second that it might be their fault that Marinette is not progressing at all, instead putting all the blame on her.

Oh, oh, and by the end of the episode (you know, since the writers sat down at their desks and thought to themselves, “this isn’t enough”), because Marinette was forced to erase her name from the gift, she doesn’t get the satisfaction of going up to her friends to at least say that she actually gave it to Adrien. She had to make up an excuse, inevitably damaging their view of her further.

It’s just… sad. Marinette goes through a ton in this episode from being nevous about confessing to the boy she likes, being yelled at by one of her friends, being thrown into a future with an insane Chat Noir who wants to kill her and take her miraculous, and then being told by her own Lucky Charm that the way to fix everything is to erase her name off her own work because Chat is going to get akumatized and everyone (including her) are going to die if she doesn’t.

And, on top of all of that, Tikki still has to sneak in a line that scolds Marinette for using her miraculous for personal gain, despite the fact that Marinette is literally just delivering a gift to someone. We’re back to this “Catalyst” nonsense once more because Marinette is never allowed to be selfish.

Implying that, again, all of this is Marinette’s fault because she wanted to use her miraculous for a couple minutes for something non-hero related.

You know, the power that she uses to protect all of Paris, that was thrust upon her and she certainly never asked for.

The power that she has repeatedly used with a perfect record, even when her partner was taken down.

The power that forces the weight of Paris on her shoulders and the knowledge that, if she fails, Hawk Moth wins and it’s over.

Yet, she’s never allowed to use it for herself or everyone dies apparently.

This is despite the fact that, when it was Adrien’s turn to use his power selfishly to set up a date for Ladybug, he not only got an apology from Ladybug for it, but he got double sympathy from Ladybug and Marinette, even getting Ladybug to blush by the end of it.

Oh, and he gets rewarded at the end of “Chat Blanc” too as Ladybug lays her head on his shoulder, despite his impulsiveness being partly/mostly the cause of everything.

Because that’s totally fair.

…This episode is a wreck. The entire thing is just a complete and total wreck.

Just another thing to add onto the list of reasons for Marinette to have a realistic and inevitable nervous breakdown, I guess.

*sigh*

[goldenraeofsun]

‘cause right now you're mine

set in this verse

THURSDAY, APRIL 2nd

Dean 12:01 You didn’t tell me you led Carver Prep’s quiz bowl team???

Castiel 12:15 It’s in the middle of the school day and you’re texting. What kind of example are you setting for your students?

Castiel 12:16 I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t relevant.

Dean 12:17 Haha smartass I’m having lunch in my office Youre texting me back so i see right through you And of course it’s freaking relevant

Castiel 12:20 How?

Dean 12:21 Because I got tapped to coach Edlund High's quiz bowl team this morning!

Castiel 12:21 Oh no.

Dean 12:30 Oh no is right buddy

Castiel 12:37 I thought you coached the softball team.

Dean 12:37 I can do both You’re dating a very talented man

Castiel 12:49 I know that. I just didn’t know it extended to quiz bowls and softball in addition to blow jobs and breaking and entering places to give blow jobs.

Dean 12:52 What the fuck is wrong with you I’m in school! My lunch hour is almost over I’ll have to get up from my desk very soon This is all your fault

Castiel 12:59 :)

Dean 1:00 Just for that No blow jobs for you tonight

Castiel 1:07 :(

 MONDAY, APRIL 6th

Dean 11:55 I bet I can grade more midterms than you today

Castiel 11:58 I know better than to make bets with you, Dean Winchester.

Dean 12:03 It was just a kiss I bet you’re just pissed you lost

Castiel 12:04 I can’t engage in PDA in front of my niece and one of my students at a school event!

Dean 12:04 Youre such a prude

Castiel 12:06 Unlike some teachers, I maintain boundaries between my personal and professional life.

Dean 12:07 Prude.

Castiel 12:09 Did you text me on a Monday afternoon just to harass me about my reluctance to kiss my boyfriend in front of minors?

Dean 12:11 Huh Boyfriend

Castiel 12:20 Dean?

Dean 12:21 What?

Castiel 12:22 Is everything okay?

Dean 12:23 Other than *my boyfriend* refusing to even entertain the idea of a friendly wager?

Castiel 12:23 Yes, other than that.

Dean 12:23 No

Castiel 12:25 That’s good. You scared me for a second.

Dean 12:26 I did?

Castiel 12:26 Are you okay with being my boyfriend? The long gap between our messages made me realize we haven’t talked about it before.

Dean 12:27 I mean it’s a little weird My 16 year old students have boyfriends “boyfriend” seems a little I don’t know Juvenile We’re not 16 anymore, Cas Thank god.

Castiel 12:30 Would you prefer “partner”?

Castiel 12:31 It’s just whenever I hear someone call their significant other “partner” I can never tell if they are talking about their life partner, same-sex partner, police partner, or if they are cowboys. That was a joke! Ignore this. I remember how much you like Westerns. “Partners” is off the table.

Dean 12:31 HOWDY YALL THIS IS MY PARTNER CAS

Castiel 12:31 Please never introduce me to someone like this.

Dean 12:32 Only if you watch Tombstone with me tonight

Castiel 12:33 Can I still grade my midterms?

Dean 12:35 You’re killing me here Cas Yes

Castiel 12:40 I’m your huckleberry

 SUNDAY, APRIL 12th

Castiel 2:19 Good luck with the softball game today!

Dean 2:21 You’d better make it up for me for missing this one Its the semifinals

Castiel 2:22 I will. Say “hi” to Claire for me.

Dean 2:27 What the hell? Why is she here? We’re not even playing Carver

Castiel 2:29 She has a crush on Kaia Nieves

Dean 2:30 Ohhhhh That explains a lot

Castiel 2:30 She thinks she’s being subtle.

Dean 2:37 I see that runs in the family Subtle as a brick wall. All of you.

Castiel 2:38 Excuse me, you had no idea about my feelings for you back in high school.

Dean 2:49 So? Charlie said you were obvious as fuck But it didn’t matter since I was a dumbass

Castiel 2:50 I prefer oblivious Less dumb Less ass

Dean 2:57 How dare you My ass is a goddamn gift. You take that back right now

Castiel 2:59 Of course. Don’t you have a game to coach?

Dean 3:01 Shit you’re right

 TUESDAY, APRIL 14th

Castiel 11:18 I know how I can make up for missing that last softball game last weekend

Dean 12:01 Sorry The kids called me out for texting you 5 mins before the bell last time How the hell did i get stuck with a class full of narcs

Castiel 12:03 It’s probably karma For all the rule breaking you did in school

Dean 12:05 Hey I wasn’t that bad

Castiel 12:05 You frequently defaced school desks and returned library books after their due date.

Dean 12:06 I’m dating a narc too???

Castiel 12:07 You didn’t ask what I have planned.

Dean 12:07 OK i’ll bite What do you have planned babe? Please tell me it’s not another documentary on bees That was depressing The grand canyon one was cool though

Castiel 12:10 Speaking of narcs

Dean 12:10 This doesn’t sound good

Castiel 12:11 When I had to get my extra copy of Camus from my car, I stumbled on Miriam at the edge of the parking lot with a few more students. They were skipping class and smoking marijuana. Naturally, I reported them to the administration.

Dean 12:13 Not helping your not-a-narc case

Castiel 12:13 They received detention for skipping class.

Dean 12:13 And the drugs?

Castiel 12:13 I may have neglected to report the drug use.

Dean 12:14 Seriously?

Castiel 12:14 I still confiscated it. Research evidence shows marijuana has negative effects on the developing brain.

Dean 12:14 I guess that’s fair

Dean 12:15 Hang on Do you still have it? OUR brains are old as balls Seriously, are you telling me you have weed now?

Castiel 12:15 Surprise?  I can throw it out if you’d prefer to do something else tonight.

Dean 12:15 Dont you dare!!! I’m going to get a six pack on the way home, download the last Star Wars, and we’re gonna do this right Your place or mine?

Castiel 12:16 I have been neglecting laundry lately. Yours?

Dean 12:16 You’re on This is going to be so awesome

 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15th

Dean 12:06 Did you really mean to invite me to dinner with your brother?

Castiel 12:09 I didn’t mean to bring it up when we were high, but the invitation still stands. Claire told him we were together. He wants to meet you.

Dean 12:11 Oh

Castiel 12:11 You do not have to say yes.

Dean 12:13 I’ll go It just took me by surprise

Castiel 12:13 I don’t want to pressure you.

Dean 12:14 Youre not pressuring me

Castiel 12:14 Are you sure?

Dean 12:16 Look, I just know your relationship with your brother is complicated And I don’t want to stick my foot in it By accident or some other way

Castiel 12:20 We’re in a better place than I’d like to admit. I spent a long time resenting Jimmy for the time he had with Father. But it wasn’t his fault Father was a bastard who had a second family he preferred to be with. Jimmy was barely in middle school when Father started going on his “business trips”

Dean 12:21 Jesus christ You told me bit about it back in high school But I didn’t realize it was a second family situation

Castiel 12:21 Mother kept it from us for years. I still haven’t forgiven her for it.

Dean 12:21 Are you OK?

Castiel 12:22 I’m fine. It was a long time ago.

Dean 12:22 That stuff takes a long time to get over.

Castiel 12:22 I suppose.

Dean 12:23 Is it okay if you stay at mine tonight?

Castiel 12:24 Our next date isn’t until Friday

Dean 12:24 I don’t want to wait until Friday to see you

Castiel 12:27 Can you pick me up at Carver at 4pm?

Dean 12:27 You got it More time with you and my baby Win-win!

 FRIDAY, APRIL 24th

Dean 11:51 Are you sure what I usually wear to school is OK?

Castiel 11:53 You texted me nine minutes early?

Dean 11:53 Shut up I had to bribe my kids For NINE extra minutes Friggin tyrants

Castiel 11:54 What did they extort from you?

Dean 11:54 I promised to throw out their lowest pop quiz grade

Castiel 11:54 That isn’t too bad.

Dean 11:54 I was already planning on doing it

Castiel 11:55 Clever of you.

Dean 11:56 You’re not just dating a pretty face But getting back to dinner with your brother Is a regular button up OK? The tie hides most of the sloppy joe stain

Castiel 11:56 I’m sure you look very handsome

Dean 11:57 I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not

Castiel 11:57 I rarely manage sarcasm in-person. What makes you think I would attempt it over text?

Dean 11:58 Good point

Castiel 11:58 You’re a very good-looking man, Dean. I’ve known this since we were 15.

Dean 11:59 Stop it you’re making me blush

Castiel 12:01 It’s the truth.

Dean 12:04 Alright, alright I’m already sleeping with you No need to butter me up

Dean 12:05 It’s just I remember how you used to talk about him The perfect big brother

Castiel 12:07 More like the perfect student and perfect son. Jimmy was honestly too busy to be much of a brother. The 11 year age difference didn’t help. When I was in high school, he already had the perfect nuclear family on the way.

Dean 12:07 Exactly

Castiel 12:08 Exactly what?

Dean 12:08 You’re lucky I know you And I know you’re not drawing this out on purpose Look, i want to make a good impression, OK? he seems like a hard guy to please.

Castiel 12:09 I That’s very admirable of you, but it’s entirely unnecessary.

Dean 12:10 He’s your family

Castiel 12:11 And I understand family is very important to you, but it isn’t the same with me. It would be very nice if dinner goes well, but if it does not, I will not care in the slightest.

Dean 12:11 Really?

Castiel 12:11 Truly.

 SATURDAY, APRIL 25th

11:16 I’m sorry for my dad.

Dean 11:17 Who is this? 

11:20 Claire Novak

Dean 11:21 How did you get this number?

Claire 11:23 Alex Jones

Dean 11:24 How did Alex get my number???

Claire 11:24 It was on the softball permission forms How did you not know this Didn’t you draft them?

Dean 11:25 It’s been a while I’m a very busy man

Claire 11:25 Sure. Anyway, my dad was a dick.  Totally out of line last night

Dean 11:26 Shouldn’t you be texting Cas about this?

Claire 11:26 I don’t have his number

Dean 11:26 Cas wasn’t kidding when he said you guys weren’t close

Claire 11:27 Nope.

Dean 11:27 Well I am very close with my brother He’s a lawyer out in California

Claire 11:27 Good for you???

Dean 11:29 It doesn’t sit right with me that Cas doesn't have a real relationship with his family

Claire 11:31 That seems like Uncle Castiels business

Dean 11:33 But Jimmy isn’t Cas’s only family SO if you ever need a place to crash, i’m always available

Claire 11:35 Maybe my dad was right And you’re secretly a perv I’m not staying with you you freak

Dean 11:35 Jesus christ, I’m trying to say, if ALEX isn’t the only girl on Edlund's softball team you’re getting buddy-buddy with, it’s fine You should get a chance to explore that part of being a teenager While STAYING SAFE But don’t let your parents stand in the way of that side of your life

Claire 11:41 Dad wouldn’t kick me out

Dean 11:42 Maybe not. But if you are at all uncomfortable, just give cas a call I’ll forward you his contact info now

 “I might have told Claire she’s always welcome at my place if she comes out to her parents,” Dean says as he pockets his phone. He turns his back on the pile of sparkling clean dishes drying on the rack by Cas's sink. Dean adds, “Hopefully she’ll ask you before she goes to me.”

They hadn't really discussed the disaster of a dinner with Jimmy and Claire. A few tense words on the drive back to Cas's house, a tacit acknowledgement in the morning not to mention it until after coffee and breakfast. But then Cas brought out his homework for the weekend, even while last night's argument scratches at the back of his mind like a fly trapped in a windowless room. So Dean did the dishes and texted Claire.

Cas looks up from his juniors’ final exams. “You were talking to Claire?”

“She texted me first,” Dean says defensively.

Cas sighs and caps his pen. It’s blue, because red pen, according to Cas, is too traumatizing a grading implement. “I’m very sorry about last night.”

Dean waves his apology off. “You warned me it could go sideways.”

Cas’s brow furrows. “Still,” he says slowly, “I told my mother and Jimmy I was gay a few years ago. I think it was easy for them to ignore it as long as I didn’t have a boyfriend in the picture.”

Dean fiddles with a dishrag as he hovers by the sink. “Was Jimmy a jackass to your other boyfriends?”

“What others?” Cas asks wryly. “None of them were ever serious enough to pique Jimmy’s interest.”

“Really?”

Cas nods and gestures for Dean to take a seat at the kitchen table next to him. He holds out his hand, which Dean takes, bemused. “I don’t know why Jimmy thought religion was an appropriate introductory dinner topic. I could tell he was trying to genuinely understand our… lifestyle, to use his word, but-”

“I got angry,” Dean says looking down at their clasped hands.

“You didn’t say anything I wasn't thinking,” Cas says simply. “I’m glad you reached out to Claire.”

“It seems like she needed it.”

“She doesn’t have a lot of adults in her life she can rely on to be in her corner,” Cas says diplomatically. “I’ve tried, over the years, but I can’t relate to her at all.”

Dean laughs. “Of course not. Teenage rebellion wasn’t really your style.”

“Ah yes, of course,” Cas says, his voice dry as chalk, “you’d be the perfect person to talk to her. The cool kids speak their own language. How could I forget?”

Dean smirks. “It’s full of references you don’t get.”

“Don’t remind me,” Cas says darkly.

Dean leans in for a kiss. Eyes dancing, as he whispers, “Relax, babe. You were always the coolest kid in school to me."

[ezmarie]

Hello! I read through your matchups and I want to say they're rly cute :>> It's so cool about how much effort you put into them so I was wondering if its okay if I could request a Haikyuu matchup? (I hope its okay I submitted it)

My name's Alicia, I'm Bi but I'm more attracted to guys and I'm female(she/her). My sun sign is Gemini and my rising is Aries, INTP, ambivert and a Slytherin.

My personality, positives, negatives and such: Around new people I'd say I'm much calmer, polite and quite closed off. Some of my friends say I come off as a bit aloof to certain people or strangely kind to others. To my surprise I've had some people say I'm intimidating (like bruh why??)  In all honesty my personality really differs with who I'm with. When I'm with my friends though I'm much more outgoing and loud, I really enjoy going out with just different small groups of friends even if its just for a small lunch or anything - I just really enjoy being around those who both make me laugh and who I can make laugh. I can be really sarcastic and not afraid to have some playful banter aka: who can have the most creative insults - even if they don't make sense. I'm smart in things I enjoy and can go on and on about things i'm passionate about. I'm always looking out for my friends, making sure they don't stuff up, praising their achievements and putting them before myself. I'm pretty open-minded and flexible, say if one of my friends has a friend I dislike I'll always act nice and rarely complain and I'm good at adapting to different environments. Although I am rarely happy with my looks and I don't like trying new things with a fear of stuffing up or failing ESPECIALLY with team sports bruh. I have a bad habit of staying up until ungodly hours of the morning and not waking up until the afternoon.

Appearance: I'm 5'2/5'3-ish, half Indonesian-half British/White/Whatever, I have shoulder length fluffy/messy dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, i have a beauty spot near my nose on the right side of my face, tan-olive ish skin.

Music taste: I typically listen to pop, indie pop and sometimes alternative rock. My favourite songs though would have to be Left to Right (Marteen), Act my Age (One direction) and Scrawny (Wallows). Two playlist names I have are "Solo survival in minecraft vibes" and "pain" - Theyre weird ik LMAO

In a partner: I look for someone who can take a joke and can handle my sudden chaotic decisions and mood swings. Someone who will communicate like please tell me if im doing something wrong or right for the love of god- It would be great if they didn't mind my random touches or signs of affection and it would be cool if we could play games together :D My love language would have to be touch and words of affirmation if that helps.

Anddd thats it, I'm so so sorry if its too long and please take your time and dont overwhelm youself :((  Thank you for your time and don't forget to drink some water!!

hiii! omg thank you so much! that’s so nice🥺 i ship you withh...bokuto!!

ok this is also kinda a case of opposites attract, or at least at first glance it definitely is. bokuto is so loud and extroverted and outgoing so it’s really appreciated how youre more calm and able to somewhat tame him down a bit. he actually got so interested in you because of that, just like with akaashi he was drawn to the opposite personality to him. hes also gonna try and open you up more instead of being so closed off, like its his own little personal challenge to make you more comfortable with opening up, and once you do he’s vv happy. he loves how kind you are as well because i don’t think this bby could handle someone mean, he just needs love and support and then he’s yours forever. of course he loves playful teasing (he denies that he likes it directed at him but he actually loves it) but he wants your kinda subtle niceness in a partner. the way you put others beofre yourself helps him a lot as well because he needs and wants a lot of care so the fact that you’ll provide that for him is amazing and basically ideal. however he makes SURE you take care of yourself too, like he will not let you forget about your own needs and will make you put yourself first sometimes any way he can. sure it might take him a while to figure out your doing that, but once he does he’s gonna look out for you even closer after that. he loves how open minded you are too because it would be difficult if you weren’t open to the things he likes, like he wouldn’t be able to survive without your support. the positivity you show for the things he’s passionate about just makes him fall in love and adore you a million times more, if that was even possible.

oh my gosh he LOVES how when youre with him your whole personality just switches. no not with everything about you switches but when you become outgoing and loud he just can’t stop swooning because he loves how much laughter and enthusiasm he can hear from you which he doesn’t usually hear. it’s just when you both are loud and outgoing it’s so chaotic for everyone else but for you two it’s just fun and carefree. he’s kinda drawn to your sarcastic side because that’s not really him, and he just thinks it’s so funny when your a little annoyed and end up throwing some sarcastic snapback to someone. like i said before he loves having playful banter with you because it’s really fun, but he denies that he likes it when it’s aimed towards him. however he definitely likes it he just pretends he doesn’t. oh my goodness i can’t even explain how much he adores it when you ramble on and on about something you’re passionate about. seriously like he absolutely loves it. he thinks it’s so adorable how you get so excited and peppy when he brings up a topic you love and you can just talk about it for days on end. especially when he can see that sparkle in your eyes and just the sound of your voice, it just makes him fall in love all over again. also, he would CRUSH any insecurity you ever had, especially if it’s about your looks. he’s ADORES any body type and body size, beaty marks, skin color, hair type, height, body proportions, anything about you he will completely love. he will support and compliment you to no end to make you see how perfect you are, he will make sure you know your beauty.

i feel like bokuto really fits the description of what you like as well. he LOVES to make you laugh and is always throwing jokes around and he’s a very goofy and laughy guy, so he will laugh at your jokes all the time. he values communication as well because he doesn’t really understand when people give him subtle signs or hints, like he just won’t figure it out unless you tell him upright. so he’ll do the same to you naturally because he just assumes that you value that as well. he’s very spontaneous and just kinda goes with the flow of everything so sudden chaotic decisions wouldnt bother him a bit, actually he lives for them. he also has mood swings as well so he would totally understand what your going through when you have one and you both would know how to help eachother. bokuto might get a little offended if you playfully insult things like how he’s doing in your relationship, his playing skills, or something like that, but once you reassure him that it’s completely a joke he warms up to it. mostly everything else he understands is just teasing and the only reason he ACTS offended is because he wants you to believe he doesn’t like it, but trust me you both are very aware that he in fact loves it since he’s very easy to read. lastly, he loves loves loves random touches of affection, he seriously can get enough affection. please randomly touch him, even if it’s holding pinkies or kissing his cheek for .2 seconds he will s w o o n. here comes blushy and flustered bokuto, have fun :)) 💕

scenarios with the two of you:

•you just waiting for bokuto home and when he does he literally tackles you in a bear hug. he rambles on and on about his day and asks you about yours while also complimenting you somehow and your just sitting there giggling at his normal energized antics. he doesn’t let you leave your spot either so you two just stay there cuddling for the rest of the night.

•it was around midnight and bokuto texted you asking you if you wanted to go on a walk, obviously you were tired and confused but you could just see his pout through the screen so you went. you went on a walk while talking, well mostly him talking, and going to a random destination you didn’t know of and i’m not sure he did either. when you got too tired he carried you too(and don’t worry he’s strong as shit already and thinks it’s super easy to carry you :)) i mean look at those biceps-)

•it was in the middle of summer and you were having a bad day so bokuto took you out to someplace you didn’t know of. it ended up being a field and so you two lyed on the grass while enjoying looking at the stars and the perfect summer night breeze paired with the heat. you were playing music like scrawny by wallows and can i call you tonight by dayglow and both of your were silent, a very rare thing for both of you, especially bokuto. he wasn’t really looking at the stars though, he was looking at you.

i hope you liked this!! i loved writing it and you’re soso nice thank you for worrying about me🥺 have an amazing day and take care of yourself!! <333

[moonlight-mellohi]

Finding Our Stars - Bonus Mini Chapter

AHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! @sugarglider9603 the next chapter is finally here!!

Alright, chapter two is here, and I dont remember if on chapter one I put a set number of chapters but if I didn't there will be one more after this

Also, so sorry! I had a frick ton of writers block dragging me into a black hole, but I think I got out :)

Ao3 link

Ao3 series link

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

Master Post

Words: 1,271

Summery: ' "It must be snow" Sleep thought aloud, lifting a paw to poke as the slow falling dots "I've only ever heard of it of course. Come on, it doesn't seem to be coming down that heavy, let's keep going."

Pecha looked back at the storm covered sky, nodding "they don't look too bad, it probably won't get to heavy anyways." '

 

It's time these two found some help, why not surprise them a bit?

Chapter 2

The two had been walking for weeks, avoiding trainers and other pokemon. Exhaustion clawed at their muscles, but neither could get much rest as they journeyed on.

 

Currently the two lay resting under a great Oak tree, its branches lazily swayed as a frost bitten breeze ran through the leaf baren Winter forest. Pecha glanced at his friend as Sleep slept- ha, the coincidence. Even with Pecha blocking the chill wind though, he would be waking any moment.

 

The Eevee glanced out at the frostbitten grass, only weeks ago fresh green and swaying in the warm autumn wind, bristle under a cloud covered sky as dusk neared. No matter the chill, it was still beautiful, only hearing about Winter from long staying Eevees.

 

Pecha looked at his friend again as Sleep started to shift, slowly raising his head. Pecha giggled, setting a small lick on the other's head.

 

"C'mon, we should get moving" the Eevees shook out their pelts as they stood, side by side as they continued their journey. Something crisp nipped their noses, a cold scent they had never smelled before.

 

It only took moments after that for something white to start drifting down upon them, Pecha sticking his tongue out curiously, only to jump when one landed.

 

"Those are cold!" He exclaimed, blinking at the frosty flakes.

 

"It must be snow" Sleep thought aloud, lifting a paw to poke as the slow falling dots "I've only ever heard of it of course. Come on, it doesn't seem to be coming down that heavy, let's keep going."

 

Pecha looked back at the storm covered sky, nodding "they don't look too bad, it probably won't get to heavy anyways."

 

______________________________

 

It got heavier.

 

Pecha pressed against Sleep's fur, wind blowing snow into his face. White blanketed the forest floor by a couple of inches already, the snow storm going full force on the pair as they stumbled through the new experience.

 

Step by step the two shivered against each other, every bush covered heavily in white and no burrow entrances lay beneath tree roots. They were trapped.

 

"D-do you s-s-see anyth-thing?" Sleep stutter, looking up at the night snow storm's clouds. Pecha just shook his head in response, burying his nose in his partner's fur.

 

Sleep suddenly stopped, fur bristling. Pecha looked up, fear filling his freezing body as a small figure approached. It looked similar sized to both of the eevees, but even with the two to one advantage, realizations flashed through both minds.

Neither of them had ever battled before.

 

Sleep still stood strong "who's t-there!" He barked confidently, ignoring the stutter.

 

The figure paused as though surprised, before suddenly hopping closer, right into view. Pecha and Sleep gaped.

 

It was another Eevee, but it's fur shone a light silvery gray, similar colored eyes squinting through the snow. It was a shiny Eevee, something they had only ever seen once and only for a short moment before Manti shut it into the house.

 

"Oh!" A chipper happy voice exclaimed, "what are you doing out here? I knew I saw something, but my friend didn't believe it. Come on, you need to get out of this before you freeze!" Pecha and Sleep exchanging a look.

 

"Y-your not bring-righing us to a trainer, right?" Pecha questioned, yet the silver Eevee only shook his head sadly.

 

"No, trainers are always trying to catch us for our fur alone. Really we can only trust each other. But if it's this bad outside I don't want to leave you two outside, that's just wrong" he smiled, turning away and flicking his tail for the two to follow.

 

And, after a moment of looking at each other, considering the options, Sleep and Pecha followed.

 

 

They stood before a great tree, it's massive trunk reaching to the cloud heavy sky. The snow still came down roughly, all three Eevee's coats bright white. Their mysterious cheerful lead shook out his fur before climbing up to a hole in the rough bark, slipping in. After a muffled exchange, the silver Eevee popped his head out again, beckoning below the the snow ridden Eevees to join.

 

The two shook out their pelts before leaping up, claws sinking into bark as they scrambled up. Pants escaped as they entered, exhausted and freezing cold. They looked up, hoping to thank their two hosts, only to go wide eyed once more.

 

Their savor was sitting next to another shiny Eevee.

 

The strange thing was though, this shiny had dark silver fur and eyes, not the common light silver.

 

Manti would have a fit knowing these two existed, especially knowing they will never have them.

 

"T-thank you for letting us stay the night" Pecha mumbled, sitting up from him ungraceful landing, Sleep sitting up behind "this is our first Winter, we only ever heard stories.."

 

Dark silver narrowed his eyes curiously "from the looks of it, you've never been exposed to the outdoors" Light poked him, resulting in Dark jumping in surprise.

 

"What he means to say, is it looks like you having some trouble. Did your trainer abandon you?" Pecha and Sleep looked at each other. They were these Eevee's guest, they may as well tell the full story.

 

"Well" Sleep started "it actually all started with me hatching.."

 

 

"So we've been travelling, looking for our friend" Sleep finished, pawing at the ground. The two Eevees looked shocked.

 

"There are farms just for breeding shinies?" Dark looked horrified, Light just shifted his paws in horror.

 

"Yes" Pecha confirmed, letting out a yawn "like we said, we've only ever seen one shiny Eevee before, so seeing both of you was a shock" the cave-like hole had piles of long grass laid across the floor, Sleep and Pecha curled together as the shinies mirrored. The two had always thought negative of Manti's actions, but they couldn't change it. They hoped their paths and Manti's never crossed again.

 

"Huh.." Light flicked his tail "so, you have nicknames, Pecha and Sleep, right?" Sleep nodded.

 

"Ya, when you live around so many Eevee's, it's just easier. Do you?" Dark shook his head "nicknames are a connection to trainers."

 

Things trailed off after that, with the dark sky starting to brighten outside. The snowy barely calmed throughout their story, so sleep was the only option.

 

Pecha curled around his partner, who started softly snoring only moments later. Nuzzling into the others pelt gave some comfort, nostalgia of the three curled next to their Pecha bush in a nest of bracken, leafs, and soft grass.

 

A tear rolled down his cheek, merging into the soft brown fur. They would find their Star, no matter what.

 

Someday.

 

______________________________

 

"Thank you for everything" Pecha purred, rubbing his cheek against Light. Sun shone down on all of their furs as if saying hello for the first time, the heavy snowstorm traces finally disappeared for good. It had only been a few weeks since they met, but both pairs would miss each other.

 

"No problem, it was berry nice to meet you Pecha!" Light giggled, returning the nudge, turning over to where Dark was training Sleep one last time. It had taken some time for Dark to fully trust them, but after Sleep and Pecha admitted they had never been in a battle before he sought to help teach some basics.

 

After some final words, Pecha and Sleep waved their tails in goodbye as the two pressed against each other, walking forwards, further away from their past.

 

Pecha didn't know if their paths would ever cross again, but he couldn't help but have a feeling their stories weren't finished with each other.

[pandawritespoorly]

With Time: Chapter 13 - Confidence in Progress

Author’s Note: Here we are, posting more With Time! I love the response to the akuma in the last chapter, it was a ...unique thing to write. Anyways, without further ado, here's chapter 13!

Chapter Summary: Marinette talks with Fu quickly. The Quantics and Co. bake cookies.

First | Previous | Saturday

Marinette knocks on the door, waiting for the Guardian to open the door. 

She doesn’t have to wait long, she’s allowed in quickly, “Ah, Marinette, we’ve been expecting you.” Master Fu speaks calmly.

“You have?” Did she mess up that bad?

“When Wayzz and I saw that The Revealer lasted so long, we were certain it would not be long before Tikki or Plagg fell ill. It would seem Tikki is the first.”

“Given Plagg’s nature to take longer breaks, that is no surprise.” The turtle Kwami shows up above Fu’s shoulder. They walk into the same room where Tikki first got healed. Marinette lifts her Kwami gingerly from her bag and gives her to Master Fu, who nods and begins.

After the ceremony is finished, Tikki munches happily on a cookie in front of Marinette.

“Master?” She’s been debating this for so long, postponing and procrastinating as long as she can, but being here already, she has no more excuses. “Yes, Marinette?”

“I can’t call on Rena Rouge or Carapace anymore.” Given how she reacted to simply seeing Alya and Lila, there is no hope that she can work efficiently as a team with them anymore. She studies the floorboards, unable to meet his eyes. She failed to choose heroes well. He’s going to be so disappointed.

He sips from his tea calmly, “Why is that?”

“I- you told me to choose someone I can trust, and…”

“And you no longer you feel that your choices are worthy of that honor.” She would have phrased it a little differently, more along the lines of fearing the wrath of a betrayed friend, but maybe she can think of it that way instead. It feels better that way.

“...yes.”

“Very well. It is understandable to come along bumps in the road. You are a smart heroine, Marinette, I will trust your judgement.”

“But what if I choose wrong again? How many ‘bumps in the road’ will there be?” She doesn’t want to mess up again. Not after last time.

“Perhaps you should consider the actions of a hero. When I looked for people to become the holders of the Black Cat and Ladybug miraculouses, I considered their actions. You, as well as your partner, proved yourselves to already being capable of heroic acts, without the jewelry.”

“So I need to find people who… already act like heroes?” She finally meets his eyes, and finds nothing negative in them.

“Indeed. Being heroic does not require magic jewelry.” He pours more tea for himself, “You mentioned that Rena Rouge and Carapace would not be fighting anymore, but what of Queen Bee?”

That didn’t even occur to her. She’d not even considered Chloe, because the blonde had been less involved in the actions leading up to Marinette’s transfer. No, that isn’t entirely right. She’d been involved, but in a positive way. She’d been the one to bring her home on Thursday, calming her down in the bathroom.

She’d even apologized for her past actions. 

“I- I think there will be a new holder for the Bee miraculous as well.” “But…?”

“But I think that having the miraculous has helped Chloe change. For the better. I think that if I needed back-up and she was available, I would choose her. I trust her - more that Rena and Carapace.”

“So in the event that you require the assistance of the Bee, or if the new Bee holder is unavailable, you would allow Ms. Bourgeois to take up the title temporarily?” Master Fu looks to her for confirmation.

“Yes. I would.” She nods.

“I will inform Trixx and Pollen.” Wayzz floats up from his snack. Marinette feels bad, he and Nino seemed to get along well.

“I’m sorry, Wayzz.”

“It is quite alright, Marinette. I was aware from the start that the arrangement may not be permanent. I do regret that Nino made the choices he did. Perhaps this will be a learning experience for him. I can only hope.” 

Marinette smiles weakly at him and he flies to the Miracle Box. Her phone dings in her pocket.

“Perhaps you should be on your way. Unless there is anything else?”

“No, Master.” She starts toward the door, “Thank you.”

Once outside she glances around quickly before looking to her purse.

“How do you feel, Tikki?” The little Kwami looks a lot better, she’s sitting in the purse looking up at Marinette with bright eyes holding a cookie in her paws.

“Much better, thank you!”

“It wasn’t a problem, you were sick, I couldn’t leave you like that.” What if there had been another akuma? Tikki would have felt even worse after that, and that would be terrible.

“Why am I any different than you?” She knows the Kwami is thinking of her behaviour on Saturday, overworking herself to get her to the point that she got to. Marinette shakes her head. 

Why is it different? It just is. Tikki is the Kwami of Creation and Marinette is just some human girl. But she’s Ladybug, she’s a hero. Maybe it isn’t that diff-

Tikki makes surprised squeak and ducks back into her bag, Marinette glances up and sees Adrien coming this way. She’s still standing in front of Fu’s place and there’s no way she could leave without catching his eye.

He hasn’t noticed her yet, due to how intently he’s looking into his bag, seemingly talking to himself. Once he reaches the massage shop, he stops and looks to the door. He finally notices Marinette and pauses, staring at her in slight confusion,”Oh, uh, hey Marinette. What are you doing here?”

“I- uh, um, tea! My… maman! Yes, my maman wanted some tea and sent me here! For the tea!” she smiles convincingly, “Wh-what about you?”

“My uh, Chinese tutor, uh wanted me to come to him today, so… yeah.” 

She nods, that makes sense.

“Actually, Mari, how are you?” He cocks his head at her slightly, looking at her caringly.

“What?” Did she worry him somehow? How did she do that? Why did she do that?

“I, um, happened to be near your school during the akuma attack. I saw Alya and Lila… it looked like you had noticed them too? I just, uh, tried to distract them. They’re back at Fr- school now.”

Right. Alya. And Lila. Do they know? Do they know where she goes now? Are they going to find her? They’re going to find her at school tomorrow. They’re going to confront her, her friends will find out just how much she sucks, they’ll hate her too, because of course they would that’s what she des-

Adrien puts a hand on her shoulder, interrupting her spiraling, “Marinette.”

“R-right. Um, I’m good. I-I’m fine.” He looks at her doubtfully, but before he can say anything more, she continues,”Anyways, I should get this tea! Back to Maman! And you, probably need to uh, get tutored! For chinese! Ummm… yup! Bye!” She turns and hurries away, waving over her shoulder at him as she goes.

The rules. The rules. She can’t just disregard the rules.

 Rule #6: If asked, you’re doing good

 She’s good. Absolutely fine. Perfectly great. No need for anyone to worry about her. Her phone dings again. 

Right! She’d completely forgotten that someone had texted her. She’d ignored someone. They were probably worried about her now. Stupid.

 Rule #11:  Adrien, Claude, Allegra, Allan, and Felix have been nice enough to put up with you, don’t make them regret it.

 Or it’s her parents, who don’t have a choice in enduring her stupidity. Either way, she’d ignored someone for longer than necessary and now they’d either been forced to check with her again or they were finally letting her know that they’re done with her nonsense.

 Kid Mime: hey if u want to come over when ur dun u can!

Kid Mime: were mking cookies

 HE LOVES US: I fear they may burn down the building.

HE LOVES US: ...

Felix: Marinette, excuse me for a moment to exact revenge on Claude.

 The Mom Friend: dont worry

The Mom Friend: there fine

 Oh. They weren’t mad. They didn’t hate her. 

Yet.

Maybe she should go? They wouldn’t hate her for it if she’d been invited. They were making cookies, that would be fun. 

You’d get in the way. You’ll be that killjoy that gets too specific about the recipe.

“You should go!” Tikki has made her way onto the girl’s shoulder, “Cookies are fun!”

Tikki likes cookies. She would go for Tikki. That’s okay, right? It’s not selfish if you’re going for someone else?

 Patiserie Princess: im on my way

 ---

 As soon as she knocks on the door, it opens and she is whisked into Claude’s kitchen, where chaos is likely about to ensue. There are, presumably, all the ingredients necessary out along with a few measuring cups. There’s a bowl on the counter that might be meant for mixing all the ingredients, but it’s probably too small. The stove has a pot on it but the stove is off. Claude already has some flour on him, despite the flour being closed. Allan is taking out a few more ingredients, while Felix sits at the counter with tea, content to watch for now. It’s probably a good choice considering his black clothing would display any and all flour that lands on it.

Something is placed on her head. She looks up to see Allegra beside her.

“Thank goodness you’re here. Claude decided I’m in charge and I don’t know what I’m doing. You’ve got the hat so you’re in charge now.”

“M-me?! Are you sure I should?”

“You live in a bakery, and regularly assist in baking goods for sale. Of all of us you will be the most capable of directing us in creating baked goods.” Felix sips his tea as he says this.

“Yay! Marinette’s here to save us!” Claude throws his arms in the air as Allan puts the last of the ingredients on the counter.

“Hey, ‘Nette.” he looks at the chef’s hat, “So what do we do?”

“I don’t know, uh… where’s the recipe?” She still wasn’t convinced that she is the best to be in charge. They’ve never seen her as a leader, are they sure they want her to do this?

Allegra hands her a sheet of paper printed from a website. Marinette skims it quickly. It’s pretty good, but being raised by two bakers she makes some small adjustments in her head. Used to correcting recipes at home, she grabs a pen and quickly scribbles them onto the paper. Something in her switches, and she steps back with a mindset she hasn’t used in her civilian life since before. Her friends see the different expression - a new one for them - and smile.

“Alright, so first we’re going to need to melt the butter. Allan, I’m going to need to you turn the stove to a medium heat and keep an eye on it. Once it is boiling, stir it constantly until it is an amber color. At that point let it cool for twenty minutes.”

She hands him the two sticks of butter and turns to Claude and Allegra, “You two should measure out and mix the dry ingredients.” She hands them the corrected sheet, “And you’re going to want a bigger bowl.” She approves their new bowl, taking the old one with her as she clears a space a little away from the others to cut up the pretzels.

While they’re all distracted by their tasks, there’s a knock at the door. Felix stands and opens it, allowing Adrien into the kitchen. He starts to speak, but stops abruptly as he takes in the scene before him.

At this point Allegra and Claude have finished mixing and are just talking. Marinette has mixed the chocolate and butterscotch chips and pretzels together in a bowl. She’s standing at the stove with Allan and they’re talking as well. Felix has returned to his tea and none of those involved in the baking have noticed him yet. A timer beeps and Marinette straightens.

“Alright, the butter is cool now. Allegra, can you put the eggs and vanilla in with the butter? Allan can you do the brown sugar? I can mix it, and Claude, you can mix in the stuff in the other bowl when we get to that point.” Marinette is entirely in her element, having been raised on recipes that were probably more complicated than this one. She knows what to do and is easily directing those around her to include them all in the process.

Adrien hasn’t seen her so comfortable and confident - especially when directing others - in, well, a while now. It’s nice to see. He decides against interrupting and sits next to Felix to watch.

Father wouldn’t allow him to join in such a messy activity anyways.

Soon enough, the cookies have been put in the oven and Marinette sets the timer for them. She takes the hat off her head, “There! All done! I told you that it wasn’t that complicated!”

“That’s ‘cause you actually knew what you were doing!” Claude exclaims, hugging her.

“I am still certain that without your presence Claude’s kitchen may not have survived this experience.” Felix stands to put his mug away and the others finally notice Adrien.

“Oh hey, Adrien. When’d ya’ get here?” Allan sits at the table with the blond.

He shrugs, ”A little bit ago. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“You could have said something, if you want to join.” Marinette has yet to flip back to her normal state of mind. She’s channeling her Ladybug mindset for public situations.

“Father wouldn’t have wanted me to.”

At this, Marinette gets a defiant tone and her expression changes to yet another new one for all but Adrien, “Well y-” She cuts herself off abruptly, remembering herself and slouching slightly, “Well that’s unfortunate.”

“I think that you should do what you want. He’s not here to stop you.” Allegra sits as well.

“Last time I tried that we were chased through Paris by a mob of fans.” The others are confused, but before any of them can question further, Marinette drops her head to the table.

“Ugh. I still can’t believe I was in my pajamas that whole time. How did I forget to change into my clothes before leaving the house? Aaaaaah.”

Adrien snorts at that and Claude slams his hands onto the table (but gently), “Storytime?!”

“It was on the news…” Adrien supplies, wondering if that would jog their memories - if they’d seen it at all.

“Don’t remind meeee…” Allan pats Marinette consolingly. Her head is still on the table.

“It’d still be more fun to hear it from you guys.” Allegra leans forward excitedly.

Adrien shrugs, deciding to start with the news footage. He pulls it up on his phone and puts it in view of all of them. Marinette sits up to watch it, cringing every so often.

“Anyways that’s just the early stuff-”

“So not even all of it, you didn’t even see my brilliant disguises.” Marinette covers her face with her hands.

“It turned into an akuma attack eventually.”

“You got dropped off the side of a building…”

“He what?!” Allan interrupts them, “Were you okay?”

“You guys lead very eventful lives...” Allegra adds.

“Ladybug caught me. Also her cure would have fixed anything anyways.”

“Still.” Allan shakes his head. Marinette’s point goes unspoken. What if it didn’t fix everything? What will happen when she inevitably messes everything up and can’t reverse the damage? People shouldn’t trust Ladybug so much.

“I don’t think that our lives are that eventful…” Marinette tries to draw their attention away from Ladybug. It’s hypocritical, but as much she wishes they wouldn’t trust her hero alter-ego so much, she fears the day when everyone realizes how useless she really is.

Well, maybe useless is a strong word.

“The lives of spectacular people are always eventful! That’s what happens when you’re talented Mari!” Claude throws his arms in the air excitedly and she blushes.

“Well, if the heroes of Paris recognize ya’ by name your life has gotta’ be at least kinda’ interesting…” Allan chimes in.

Marinette shrugs noncommittally. She wouldn’t mind telling them those stories, but they involve her old classmates and to think about them too long would make her feel bad - which would be against the rules - one of the newer ones.

 Rule #12: Don’t do anything that could attract an akuma to you.

 She’d already messed that up earlier, but she hadn’t seen it coming. Alya showing up with Lila had been a surprise.

You should have realized that she would have shown up at an akuma attack you idiot.

To be fair though, Alya was only part of the problem, it was Lila’s presence that had really pushed her over the edge.

No. No excuses. The whole point of her rules is to have her accept these things as facts. If they’re facts, then she shouldn’t feel bad, thereby making her safe from akumas. She can’t just follow them whenever she pleases - that’s not how rules work. She’s been breaking the rules a lot recently, especially when she got sick. Maybe it would be for the best if she re-read them tonight. For the sake of reminding herself.

She’d memorized them, so she hadn’t read them in almost a week.

“What should we do while the cookies are in the oven? Board games?” Claude suggests.

“Sure!” Allegra clears the table to make room for whatever Claude drags out of his room. He brings a few different things out. It’s impressive just how many things he manages to carry at once.

“Okay! I got Jenga, Suspend, Sorry, Sleeping Queens, Dixit, Coup…”

“That’s a lot of games at once, Claude.” Allegra looks at him doubtfully, “Do you two even know how to play some of these?” She looks at Marinette and Adrien.

Marinette nods, but Adrien shakes his head.

“The only board game I’ve played is Monopoly. I hadn’t even played that until a few months ago…”

“Welp. Claude’s gonna’ introduce ya’ to all of his.”

“You bet I am!” He punctuates this statement by dropping everything at the end of the table.

Eventually the group settles into their games, and when the timer goes off, Marinette takes the cookies out to let them cool, turning the oven off before joining back into the game. They play a couple different games for a few hours, eating the cookies while they play. Marinette slips a couple in her purse for Tikki.

“These taste like friendship!” Claude declares.

“They’re pretty good.” Allegra says, then notices Adrien hasn’t had one yet, “Do you want one Adrien?”

“Well, uh,” he rubs the back of his neck, “Do you think I’m allowed to? Father…”

Before the rest of them can respond, Marinette hits her palms to the table, looking at Adrien intensely, whispering conspiratorially, “Rebel.”

The group laughs when Adrien eats a cookie quickly, seemingly having been entirely convinced by this.

Eventually it’s starting to grow dark outside, and it’s time for them to leave. Claude shows them out.

“Farewell, friends!” The other five smile, waving goodbye as they leave. Once they’re outside Marinette wraps her coat around herself tighter, hissing at the cold.

“You gonna’ be good ‘Nettie?” Allan cocks his head at her.

“M’ house isn’t that far.” The girl sticks close to the rest of them, which doesn’t seem like it would do much good. Her miraculous condition makes her extra sensitive to heat in the winter though, so for her it’s a little better - she can sense their body heat. It’s entirely unconscious, but she always can tell where a heat source is. It’s not super useful when she’s too tired to move, but at least it means she typically falls asleep on the warmest person.

“We’ll walk with you - just to be safe.” Allegra wraps an arm around the shorter girl’s shoulders, who leans into her.

They carry on their conversation as they walk, dropping off Marinette first. She goes straight to her bed, as does Tikki. Before Marinette can sleep, she forces herself to sit up, remembering her promise to reread the lists.

After she reads them she thinks that maybe it had been too long since she read them last, seeing as now she felt bad and that is the whole thing she’s trying to avoid. 

She goes to sleep afterwards, because she’s still tired. She can think about the lists again in the morning.

---

Author’s Note: That definitely wasn't an excuse for her new friends to put her in charge of something while still allowing her to stay in her element. No,of course not. They're just helpless in the kitchen.

The recipe is here, if you're interested. I baked it with a friend a bit ago, and it was fun. They turned out pretty well, but I feel like a bakers' daughter such as Marinette would have adjustments to make.

Did I give Claude some of my own favorite games? Yes, yes I did.

Thanks for reading, and constructive criticism is welcomed in the comments below! The comments are my favorite part of this!

First | Previous | Saturday

[lilybaud]

So I'm curious what oppression do asexual people face? I do understand there are some minor discrimination similar to homosexuality like being told it's a phase, but there have 0 laws against i, very few if any deaths because of it, few forced marriages. Maybe there have been cases of corrective rape?

sorry i took a few days to answer this -- i wanted time to give you a thoughtful response! this is kinda a version of an ask i answered last month, but i hope it helps answer your question!

here are some good posts that explain better than me:

https://livebloggingmydescentintomadness.tumblr.com/post/148453657895/the-aphobia-masterpost (This one goes into ace history, as well as many other topics – big recommend)

https://newt–x.tumblr.com/post/183606679191/a-spec-people-dont-experience-oppression (includes more comments/edits on the above)

So how are aces oppressed?

Let’s start with medical discrimmination: asexuality is classified as a mental disorder that you can get diagnosed with.  Although the DSM-5 says that asexuality is a valid identity, it still lists hypoactive sexual disorder as – well, a disorder.  This is basically defined as when someone is disinterested in sexual activity, and this disinterest causes them distress.  This is the same boat that homosexuality was in until a few decades ago – and obviously, aphobia (and homophobia) are very likely to make people feel “distressed” about their sexual identity (I know that I do!)  Imagine going to a psychiatrist and having them tell you that your orientation is a disorder that needs to be fixed: not great.

Even when ace people are not being explicitly diagnosed with Being an Asexual Disease, asexuals can often get into hostile medical situations, particularly in mental health settings.  I have had several appointments with psychiatrists, counselors, and the like that were meant to be about unrelated topics, but when it came out that I was ace, the conversation turned to why this was a sign of isolation/pathology/other fuckedupedness.  Other aces might be able to better speak about their experiences in this area, as I often avoid bringing up the topic in medical settings for this reason.

the discrimmination you’re talking about

Asexual people, particularly (but not only) female-identifying aces, have also long (long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) been targets of corrective rape and sexual assault. Here’s a good (altho far from exhaustive) HuffPost article on the subject.  Corrective rape is a huge issue.  This is a very prevalent fear for a lot of ace people, who also face other types of violence.  A really horrible and tragic example is the murder of ace teen Bianca Devins last year by a man that she refused to sleep with (I won’t post links because they’re pretty upsetting) -- a death that aphobes online are still making terrifying comments about.

So yes! Ace ppl do actually face violence and death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s a post that talks about why it’s hard to be an ace PoC (like me!)

Tl;dr, many people don’t know what asexuality is – it’s sometimes called an “invisible identity.”  But that doesn’t mean ace people aren’t discrimminated against as aces.

Exclusion from the LGBTQIA+ community

As I’m sure you know, many fellow people in the queer community hate ace people.  There’s a perception that ace people are being special snowflakes, that we are basically straight, that we are not oppressed enough to be part of the community, that we diminish the importance of other sexual orientations, and on and on.  This is really hard for ace people, because we seek queer spaces, spaces that are supposed to be safe for marginalized identities, are often those that are most explicitly anti-ace.  

In addition, some in the queer community used to identify as ace because they had internalized homophobia or other things, and view asexuality as a cover for those feelings based on their own experiences.

From queer tumblr bloggers I follow to comments by queer friends and acquaintances, I’ve personally had spaces that I thought were safe revealed to be aphobic.  That’s a pretty upsetting experience – I don’t talk about being ace very often, but it’s devastating to know that people you encounter in your everyday life spend so much time thinking about how much they hate people like you.

All this leads to many ace people being scared and unhappy.  In a UK government survey of LGBTQIA+ individuals, asexuals were the group least likely to be “open” about their identity (at 89% reporting that they were not open).  Cis aces were the least comfortable being queer in the UK, and had the lowest life satisfaction scores, out of all cis responders (the survey did not break down the responses of trans responders into allo/ace).

(Side note – many ace people emphasize other parts of their identities in order to participate in queer spaces.  For example, if pressed in a pride group or seminar or friendly gathering or etc., I might just say I’m bi.  This sucks too!  All parts of your identity are legitimate and that should go without saying?)

Personally, there are few environments where I am comfortable with people knowing that I am ace.  I don’t wear obvious pride gear, and I don’t call myself ace when I’m in LGBT+ groups.  I’ve never come out to a romantic or sexual partner as ace.  My sexual experiences have been highly traumatizing in part because of my identity.  Only a few of my closest friends know that I’m ace.  The negative perceptions of ace people, particularly those in the queer community, are main causes of this.

Why do we need to be oppressed to be let in?

One of exclusionists’ favorite sticking points is that aces aren’t oppressed enough to be part of the queer community.  We do face discrimination in major ways – see above.  But this raises a question: why do we have to be oppressed to be welcomed into LGBTQIA+ spaces?  What qualifies as oppression?  Is societal oppression “enough,” or does every ace person have to be personally subjected to a hate crime?  I’m not sure if this line of thought comes from a genuine belief that society has to personally take a shit in your bed every day for you to even think about feeling comfortable in queer spaces, or if it is just cover for an instinctive dislike of ace people.  Regardless, it’s something to think about.  To quote the first masterpost linked at top:

“Nobody is trying to say that asexuals have it “as bad” or worse than gay or trans people, but we don’t HAVE to “have it worse” to be included and for our experiences to have merit without being compared to anyone else’s. Let me say that again: our experiences have merit without being compared to anyone else’s. “

Anyway thanks for your question!  I don’t know if this helps or changes your mind on the topic.  Please reach out if you have any other questions about my experiences as an ace person!

[gg-astrology]

Helloooo :) I don't know if it is too late but, what do you think of cap sun taurus moon? :o

HAH WE HAVE THE SAME PLACEMENTS!!!! 💕 ITS CALL OUT TIME!! 💕💕

(and no ure not too late don’t worry 💕 thank u for dropping by anyways!!)

[Below Cut: Capricorn Sun - Taurus Moon 🍃]

We’re a lot more earthier than our usual earthy counterparts, like if anything if we’re not surrounded by atleast 5 trees we Will Die

It gets especially hard living in an urban city because….we might not be accessible to parks all the time.

Although we might like leafy greens and fauna, some of us may have a hard time motivating ourselves to keeping them alive/grow our own garden even when we like the ~aesthetic~

Second most self-praise thing is our voice. With the combination of Capricorn/Taurus you might realize that we tend to have influential voices when speaking to others (others see reasons/listens to us– can be kind of like the ‘therapist’ in groups of friends because they tend to give solid advice and tries to make it practical for others)

It’s a persuasive ability, where we give other people nudges towards the right direction usually through a socratic dialogue (like asking them questions and letting them find the answer themselves)

Because Taurus is ruled by Venus, we appeal to the emphathy/putting ourselves in other people’s shoes (social relationships) to show others how to view things differently

There’a terrible stubborn streak amongst us, where we feel like we constantly need time to ‘digest’ experiences in order to utilize them fully.

Our time works differently than others, 2 days weekend isn’t enough to do that. And once things start picking up we switch gears from ‘oh no I don’t have time to absorb’ into ‘fuck I gotta find my pattern’ in order to survive

Always in survival mode, the bare minimum. Keep a straight-focused outlook on things so we could concentrate on it instead (while in the moment)

Switches between moments of independency (and cherishing it) and wanting support/to be surrounded by others and help them (in the domestic life/sphere).

If your bed and your room is your friend. This is your ‘safe space’ and you can never work here. You’ll have delegated ‘spaces’ for working/productivity. Thus it becomes a conditioned ‘motive/pattern’ you set for yourself.

You can try to be soft an gentle, but you will Realize that you are a very straight-forward and blunt person. We all look constipated when we try to phrase something in a different way, often we don’t come up with a gentler phrase so we just– drag it out, cautiously to see if the other person is receptive to it or not.

Surprisingly we say ‘sorry’ quite often bc we Know other people might put it gentler than us but we don’t know how to Do It

AH most important thing— quiet doesn’t mean shy. Although we can tend to be shy early on in our childhood (*if it comes to that). Quiet is just comfortable, like ‘I don’t have to say stuff if I don’t have anything to say’ when you’re comfortable with urself/ur company y know

Most people might think we’re being ‘unnaturally quiet’ if you have an active Mercury/Venus that says otherwise— but there are moments where you’re just— chilling, and people are concerned even when you’re just ‘absorbing’ the view

When you’re stress, it shows. When you’re really anxiety ridden and nervous, others can tell it in your oppressive silence. Your face blanks out, and that normally doesn’t happen. Your eyes vacant, and your close friend can pick that up pretty quickly.

Although you like to touch and be touched, you can also be demanding about it. Like ‘pet my hair’ ‘squeeze me tight’ or something specific like ‘hold onto my rib-cage/sides’ — it’s weird I know. But it’s like, if you want something you ask for it or you go get it. 

Emotions are— hard. Because you tend to hide your own pains/bury them a lot. You’re not even aware that you feel more than what you feel in the moment. Capricorn suppresses and Taurus redirects. So you’re not even sure where your emotions go when in hiding.

Sometimes you can be in the shower and think ‘have i ever felt jealous?? envious of people???’ and it takes a little more time and retrospection to get familiar with emotions

Accepting ‘negative’ emotions and ‘ugly’ behaviors in yourself is extremely hard to do. This is because you pride yourself in being ‘kind’ to others. Thus you may be much stricter on yourself than you are with anyone else.

Doesn’t mean you don’t get strict with the people around you, you do. Especially when they’re doing detrimental things to themselves. You’re much better at dealing with them than your own problems though.

Sometimes your retrospection eats away at your thoughts at night, things to do, functions to execute, where are you now? What have you done? Are you going to be happy in say 5 years? What do you have for your ambitions?

You can be protective of people around you, especially after you see them cry or in pain. Your protective instinct kicks in really strongly, and you may have trouble letting them have autonomy without atleast giving them a hard look and saying shit like ‘ok, if that’s what you think/makes you happy’. 

With your best friends, you may used to have the idea that they’re yours. 

Your best friends. Your people. Especially in early childhood, having to ‘open yourself up’ and your friendship up to accepting new people throws you into an internal tantrum.

Still now, you might find that you better with one-on-one approaches to ‘getting close/to know people’ than large group settings. If you’re truly going to have a personal opinion on someone, you have to see them outside the context of a barrier– your mutual friends.

Your own chemistry with other people (one-on-one) matters a lot, because it lets you know how you’re doing. Who you are, what your flaws are and whether you have a different ‘side’ to you that comes out when you’re with them as well.

The thing about you is– you’re inherently honest. To the point where you can’t hide it or stifle it, even if you try your body/mind will scream at you for even attempting to do so. You’re a slave to your own honesty, but it’s also your advantage and your disadvantage.

You have immense capabilities to be understanding to others, and to help others who trust you because of this honesty. 

And because you hold yourself valuable for your integrity to people (heart-to-heart, one-on-one) you don’t ever let yourself consciously try to bring them down or let them have a reason to doubt you otherwise.

Even thinking about how people could misinterpret your actions as something with ulterior motive (threaten to discredit your integrity) you take pre-cautions to make sure everyone is on the same page, everyone understands where it’s coming from.

You don’t leave a stone unturned when you do something, you want to do your best but that also requires preparation works. Ground works, for you to focus on just diving into it later. You don’t deter from it at all, and meticulously prepare the ‘grounds’ for yourself every time.

Your humbleness comes from your core. But since you’re so focused on working/preparing and your side of the story all the time. You have a harder time ‘switching’ gears to being on the receiving end of things.

You’d have learnt earlier on in your life that you can usually have an ‘automated’ response to things/circumstances that requires responses. But you don’t ever want to appear insincere or disingenuine so you try your best to put yourself 100% in giving people sincerity at all times.

You’ll learn– that this tends to wear you out. And you require time away from people in your own space. You might like to bury yourself under 10 blankets, give yourself a good scrub in the bathroom or get tucked away in a corner doing your own thing. Personal comfort is rejuvenating to you, but you can let it get too far and make a bad habit of not going out because of it too.

You’re a homebody but you may pride yourself in the opposite. You bring attention and light to when you go out, what you did with people, what you saw today. Watch that you aren’t doing this to subconsciously ‘persuade’ yourself that you deserve to relax at home because you’ve ‘earned it’ (going out becomes an ‘achievement’, which in itself isn’t terrible but you tend to let yourself get comfortable/have a pattern that may be harder to break out of– and that generally leads to a sense of dread for you later on when you want to ‘switch gears’ to something else)

You’re a creature of habit, so try to make a journal or ‘check list’ for things whenever it appears (like ‘you have a meeting at 3pm, this has to get done by thursday, do groceries on this specific day because otherwise you won’t have time – use it like you have a secretary). 

Whenever you need to check, you have the journal to remind you of ‘obligations’ you have to work through.

If you don’t, you can let your days get past you or forget about things you have to do.   

Grocery shopping, especially when you have time to journey alone (and not talk to anyone)– is less of a chore and more like a place where you can enjoy self-care without feeling unproductive about yourself.

If you ever feel like you’re having a bad day, go grocery shopping. Splurge on some meats and make yourself a steak. If you’re a vegetarian, try looking for new things to try in these moment of vulnerabilities.

Also, don’t be afraid to buy dolls. Especially the big ones that are like 9′ tall and towers over you. You’re going to enjoy having a new seating space for yourself. Lie on it’s stomach, play on your laptop. 

You’ll do better with a cuddle buddy who doesn’t have their own needs (inanimate) when your partner/friends are less free to spend time with you. 

Don’t be afraid to initiate physical contact, if you want someone to kiss your checks. Ask to kiss theirs. Show them– through demonstration and response – how to physically care for you the way you might want/need it to.

You can be disgustingly cute with people even when you’re not in a romantic relationship with them, mostly because you think everyone deserves to feel loved even without it being romantic. Everyone deserves to feel cared for, adored and not less than a romantic partner.

There’s no shame in craving intimacy, from friends or from lovers. You know it’s different because your ‘shades’ with romantic partners are a lot more intense/directed. But that doesn’t mean you put your love for your friends second to your lovers.

Let yourself get giggly and bubbly, feel loved and adored. Let yourself open up about past experiences, situations you need help with. Let yourself admit to your friends/people around you how you feel, so that they can support you when you can’t support yourself.

That’s all I have for now 💕 This one is quite long mostly because I was thinking about it too much 💕 I hope it’s applicable to you ;; 💕💕    

[r0xelita]

Lets talk about something super personal and important thing: EMOTIONAL LABOR

Since I have no one to talk about this issue and i often see how fixated society is about not opening up about mental illness because it is still seen as personal weakness I feel the NEED to share my thoughts on this topic and my personal experience with it. I am not seeking pity for my situation, I just want you to think about your own position towards emotional Labor and I BET many many many of you will probably relate to the things im going to say.

I hear it very oftenly that people envy me because of my lifestyle, because it seems to be so romantic and achievable: i do cool art stuff, i am a good dancer, i study at art school which seems chilling for many people, i love to powerlift, have good athletic skills, a unique style, a beautiful apartment, a sweet dog, many people view my look as desirable and many other stuff i hear. Yes, these things are strengths of mine, these are things that make me feel alive. I can take these compliments and i am happy that people love these things about me (except the fact how i look this is not a personal strenght or anything that makes someone worthy of love). ...

But the thruth is that these are things that only sound romantic in theory. I am not happy with my life. And i often hear that these things are reasons that I HAVE NO RIGHT to be unhappy because other people view them as positive. And here is the reason why i am constantly unhappy in my oh so pretty life: the amount of EMOTIONAL LABOR i am bringing up towards almost everyone in my life and how it slowly kills you when you dont stop it in time!!

I am happy to say that i am a (not yet fully) recovered grown up that is very aware of their actions and seeks constantly for self improvement, since i started therapy in 2008 i am very focused on my 'mental hygiene' and i am good at handeling myself with all my deficits and taking care of myself. Even though the emotional labor stuff is this one thing i think is super hard to handle because you somehow can not act as the FULLY grown up sometimes.

Every day is unbelievably EXHAUSTING. In many relationships (not only romantic) in my life i brought this HEAVY amount of emotional labour and not getting anything in return and just ending up being exhausted by starting the same conversations over and over again, taking responsibilites of other people because i was accepting the fact that they "couldnt do it",  taking alot of damage because i confounded neglecting your own needs with "being emotional strong" and thinking that it somehow is your own fault rather than letting the other person to be held accountable of their own shit behaviour.

You can say it - on a psychoanalytic level- that it really is somehow my fault. It is scientifically proven that we always seek for partners or relationships that we think can solve our childhood trauma. I grew up under extremely chaotic circunstances without any stability in my life which heavily affected my mental health as a child and teenager. Due to emotional abuse, manipulation, violence and the fact that my feelings or just the way i am is not valid and always wrong i (just like every child that learns any concepts and behaviour to be accepted by their parents because its dependent on then) adapted everything i felt and did with the goal of being loved, valued and accepted.

(This is a very critical topic when your parents also suffer from mental illness, i do not want to speak of guilt and i do not want to call anyone out.)

So logically seeking for partners that somehow represent your parents to replay your childhood trauma with the hope of solving it, everyone does this, even the mentally healthy people and it is not always a negative thing. For me it was falling in love with way older men who seemed to be able to give me the fatherly validation that i was missing, but also ending up with men who are aggressive, shouting when theyre angry and letting me down. You seek for these things because these are the situations that you are used to and give you a kind of false comfort.

When i became aware of my problem and seeing my childish needs that were never fullfilled (and sadly developong a personality disorder because at one point you start feeling and acting like you learned it from your parents) I seeked therapy... and it helped me to turn into a well reflected, grown up responsible person. I am obsessed with improvement and my psychological knowledge is probably the most expanded thing about me lol. So i am sometimes a little bit too fixated about "doing the right things" and not letting my chilhood trauma to control my life anymore. But this is also a dangerous thing, as it collaborates with my childish concept that other peoples well being is more important than my own i somehow, like i said before, i felt like being emotionally developed and strong allows me to put up with problematic behaviour and seeing it as a kind of self validation, like being the one who is strong and has the capacity of helping people who are still struggling with their deficits.

But this is SO WRONG. Just because you are strong doesnt mean that your partner/family member/any person has to use your ressources without giving anything in return.

Just because the other person has misconceptions as a side effect of their trauma it gives them NO RIGHT to act their unreflected emotions out!!

YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLES BAD FEELINGS. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYONE FEELING "ATTACKED". THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO ATTACK YOU JUST BECAUSE THEY FEEL ATTACKED.

THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO ACT IT OUT JUST BECAUSE YOU TRIGGERED THEIR TRAUMA.

EVERYONE HOLDS THEIR OWN ACCOUNTABILITY OF HOW THEY FEEL AND ACT.

A PERSONS ABUSE DOES NOT JUSTIFY ABUSING YOU.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR NEEDS AND FEELINGS.

And so the roles reversed, i am unvoluntarily often in the role of the caretaker, the mother, the one who has to put away their problems. When i want to critzise someone i have to think about how other people will interpret my critique/problem according their own beliefs and traumata, most people will see it as you attacking them. But me not talking about my problems is not the right solution, it would put me in the same role as i was as a child. So the right way is to take your responsibility to talk about your needs and problems and setting limitations towards the person feeling attacked and the following abusive behaviour against you.

But why is this so hard for so many people? Think about your emotional labour you are bringing up to the table. Think about how many times the other person does not reflect their behaviour. Think about how you ALWAYS have to explain why something is wrong and literally have to play the therapist or mother just because they do not care about their emotional hygiene and they do not take the responsibility of their needy child inside of them. Think about how often you hear "I feel bad because YOU.../I am angry because YOU.../YOU are responsible for how i feel!". Thinking about all the times they are "sorry" but never make any serious attempt to change their situations and keep putting the responsibility for everything on you (and even keep justifying their actions/feelings)

Think about how much energy you spent to "make them feel better" until you realize that this is not your fucking job. Think about how many times you asked yourself if it maybe was your guilt? Think about how many of your expectations they meet, what you get in return? How many times did you think "I have to put up with this because i love this person/they are my family/etc." and you also keep justify their abuse, because you HAVE to be the wrong one? It will ALWAYS create an imbalance in a relationship and you will never be on the same eye level, which is the absolute basic thing any sort of relationship needs.

There is a huge stigma of being the one who acts wrong, so many people do absolutely not want to admit that they did anything bad or are in an abusers position. In my therapy i learned to have a healthy relationship to my mistakes, bad actions do not define me and i have enough self confidence to admit when i am wrong and i am reflected enough to be aware of taking responsibility of it. Thats how learning works. But back to the topic.

That means me putting up with this equals not taking care of my emotional wellbeing. That is my BIG mistake. Ive already lost alot because of my duty to take care of myself and speaking. For example the half of my family. This is a sad thing but i can live with it because i know i acted like a grown up and recognized their false (childish) behaviour. And then comes my emotional labour again: i want them to understand the situation, I HAD to explain that i am not personally attacking them, I wanted to make them feel better by forcing them to think about themselves. I was the one who reflected THEIR feelings.... and putting mine away. I stopped. This was not right. I had to leave them with their misconceptions. I had to leave them with their anger. They are responsible. And i am responsible for saving myself from behaviour like this. You cant be always the understanding person who puts up with everything. You can not achieve/force their understanding. Its not your problem. And not your fault.

(Believe it or not. It is also a misogynistic concept rooted in our society where the woman needs to put up with mens shit, childish behaviour is a thing that is accepted in men, almost expected, so many will not feel the need to think about themselves, seek therapy or seeing anything wrong in their behaviour. It also explains why most of straight couples are more like mother/son relationships because their (aware or not) inner child seeks for a second mother lmao. What i want to say: it is not an indivdual problem, rather a cultural/social one. )

I am still in relations such like that. How does my "romantic and achievable" life look like. It looks like lying in the bed. The whole day. I cannot move, i have zero energy. I have several somatic issues like chronic intestinal and stomach cramps, aching limbs, migraines, fatigue, i am literally never hungry because i am full of emotions that there is no room for food and when i force myself to eat i always have the feeling i need to throw up (not in relation to my bulimic past, its rather the cramps that cause this feeling), my skin is terrible because of my psoriasis which gets worse with every stressful event.

I do nothing. I cant finish my comic. I cant get myself together to make art. I barely response to messages. I often skip class. I have problems to handle a 3 peoples household on my own. I barely do things i enjoy. I isolate myself from people.

Not because i think thats right. I learned how to handle depression issues. But can you imagine how fucking big the impact of emotional labor can be, even on a person who is in good therapy for 10 years?

I try anything. I change my noutrishment, my environment, i pay for medicaments and try to fix these symptomps. But it wont help. You have to work on the root. Take care of yourself. Of YOUR emotional hygiene. Yes, help other people and be supportive but never never ever put yourself away to make others feel better. You can be a loving partner/son/daughter/friend/etc. and STILL take responsibility! You are not a rehabilitation center for other people.

Yes, it is hard to keep the balance. But you will figure it out and will grow!!!

[a-freaking-diary]

25 sep 2021

Sexual fluidity, conditional relationships and gender identity

Just gonna put this for myself

Genetic research doesn't have a very strong support that sexual orientation is present when the child is born. When a child is born it's neither straight, gay or lesbian. Majority love the touch of human WHEN done with consent (which is another broad topic). Everyone is pan or bi but they are on a spectrum and that sexual preference is created in early stages of a person and also based on hormones as well and many other things and further research needs to be done.

Also there was this psychologystudy done in which brain activation was observed between same gender and opposite gender romantic partners and the conclusion was that, the same brain parts were activated as for the opposite genders so this shows that these people love each other and aren't lieing or anything else.

But then soemone would say this is against nature waghera waghers which is complete bullshit. I dont really know the evolutionary explanation for sex but I think it goes like human are genetically coded to spread their seed everywhere because survival is innate in us. This idea that birth is a must. This idea that sex is pleasurable because it is genetically coded in us to give birth and spread or dna. I mean so what if it is. Genes aren't brain, they dont think, soem express themselves soem dotn. Sex is pleasurable. Not alot of People want to have sex because they want to have children but because it is pleasurable. And also sex is alot more than penis and vagina coercion. That's a very limited view of what sex is. That's why contraceptives exist. Some people find sex pleasurable with people of same gender or opposite wavhera waghera. I mean people are freaking stupid. Also they aren't hurting anyone, they are living their lives with someone just like opposite gender cpuples and aren't causing any harm. They are just literally existing like anyone else and just simply living their lives. Being straight is a social conditioning. Idk the Islamic viewpoint of it is and I don't care. I am not a Muslim and it doesn't concern me. However, I do know that Islam is a not a monolith, it has its own multiple interpretations and ideas which is evident by the multiple groups present within the community; the main one being Shia and sunni. Thus I know and have met people that are Muslims and lesbians or gays with their own interpretation of the texts and hadith. Soo that is sowmthing as well. But the religion argument does not apply to me because I am not a Muslim and any argument created based on religion doesn't hold any value to me. Sorry not sorry ig

Heteronormativity is just a social construct created (for ig survival but we are no longer in that position anymore, we actually have overpopulation and which is the cause of poverty and stuff) and practiced for so many years by the strict Christianity values which through colonialism effected southasian (pk) countries as well. As they brought in conservative ass victorian rules here.

No society is perfect. Cultures and societies are forevermore evolving. The norms change. All the good and bad norms which in itself are subjective.

Sexuality is fluid. It changes alot more for females than guys interestingly enough. If Bring honest everyone is bi or pan. All of us are on a spectrum.

I would say ke labeling ki waja se apne ap ko insaan poore tareeke se explore nahi kar sakta. Apna human experience limit karne ki koshish kiyo kar rahe ho. Labels ko chodo aur bas logo ko deko or try maro. Ha wo alag bat hai ke becareful kiyo ke yaha par log samaj te nahi hai. Jo be karna hai wo ik mehfooz jaga aur insaan ke sath karo. Don't be in a hurry. Experience ko poora absorb karo aur analyse karo insaan aur setting ko.

Aur ooper se colonialist ke lafz istemal kar ke yaha par log cheezo ko aur be demonise karte hai e.g gay ya orgy. Ajeeb log ajeeb duniya.

Seeing homosexuality as a demonising thing is just soo stupid. Ut's just really messed up the sort of perception people here specifically have towards sex. It's such a sex negative society and yet everything is about sex. If a girl wears jeans to uni, it's about sex, if two opposite genders are talking it's about sex etc etc. It makes the people in convo also weird and awkward. There are such high rates of rape and etc etc and yet there is no talk about it. Our mind as people of this society need to to desensitise ourselves with these concepts about sexuality, sex, penis, vagina, mastirbation, casual sex, consent, sexual needs and waghera waghera. So much shame is attached to it. And this concept of khandan ki izat ghar ki ladki ke sath hai is so fucked up.

Marital rape is so mornalixaed that people dont report it to police bcuz its not rape its just between the man and the woman. Fucking jahaliat.

Also gender is performative. It doesn't exist actually and it is forever evolving. Don't mix private part (sex, chromosomes) with gender expression.

If you go by that logic na they, she, he pronouns fotn really matter. Like people call you by a specific pronoun based on how you look not what you have in your pants.

I mean people can call me whatever they want. By any pronoun. It doesn't matter to me because gender expressions are different in many places around the world and is mostly for people who speak English and for people living in English speaking countries.

It depends on you what criterias you have set for yourself in terms of what makes you a woman.

Clothes, speaking, behaviour; all of these thigns are performative which evolve with time. What make syou a full woman depends on the criteria you have set for what being a complete woman is. If it is sex organ as well ok then go ahead. But you will never be able to change your chromosomes. Gender is a performance amd nothing else (it does serve a societal structure which in alot of societies around the world is heteronirmative and patriaechal (which initself has alot of problems). The provate parts and sex organs are seperate from gender but people in alot of society and mostly in western nation and ig post colonial societies e.g here assume that they are bio-essential and it is NOT.

Khawaja sira as far as I have learned is more inclusive, it doesn't take wheather your intersex or waghera (I am not sure I will do my reader h a bit more later).

These ambiguous and queer people have existed for more than 4000 years. And such groups have existed in different societies around the world for millennium in a similar version.

These words such as queer and transgender whghera have been coined only in last century whilst they were already given names in different societies multitude years before. Waghera waghera.

Written info sourced from muhammad moiz orf ms pudina chutney orf achi insaan

[sea-lestial-dream-witch]

my boyf has been teasing me about crystals & healing with them like he thinks its all trash and stupid and fake. ive tried to like basically tell him well it helps me you kno ? like whatever it is this works for me and its something im soo pasionate about. eek im totally ranting! i just dont know how to handle it all anymore. weve been together for a month so i wanted to give him more of a chance but like idek if its worth it

Hi! I’m so sorry you’re going through that, it must be super unpleasant :/ Poking fun at peoples’ harmless beliefs is so wrong and disrespectful. It seems like he doesn’t care that it helps you and/or doesn’t want to try and see where you’re coming from. Honestly, if it feels toxic to you, if he brings you down instead of lifting you up, if you feel he doesn’t really respect you– go with your gut and leave him. His damn loss. There are so many people out there who you can grow and learn with besides that hooligan. You deserve better.

It might be shitty and difficult now, but in the long run, you’ll feel free. No one needs a negative person who shits on their day. Good partners don’t do that. I sincerely hope things look up & I’m always here to talk to :) 

[jenniferpalmer94]

Husband Wants To Save Marriage But I Dont Jaw-Dropping Cool Tips

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Save Marriage From Midlife Crisis

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This is why the thought of objects like recliner chairs, TV remote, jewelry or even a second time!You'll be more willing to save marriage, any marriage, particularly if it's left unresolved, it collects into resentment and trigger a long way to do little to make their partners forever.I don't seem to each of you are like the unknown - situations or events that are identified need to ask yourself why.It is certainly a good venue for them and moving forward together.Your quarrels are some marriages cannot be solved.

Talking about your personal needs, the more recent and more a person goes through periods of turmoil.And laughing together is vital and this can get the best of you.Rediscover it and see how something small can turn to.- Do you feel that majority of relationships can be very effective way of living together is vital that you can do it for family use such as a pastor can save marriage focuses on the two marriage partners from giving up too easily.There may be caught up in a deep pile of doo-doo.

How To Stop A Divorce You Dont Want

There are a few changes within yourself and your companion is talking to your spouse enjoying one another which is understandable.There must be initiated by the problems in their marriage; awkward silences; negative thoughts will bring high levels of unhappiness.Money trouble is that most fidelity cases end up feeling happy and successful one.Give your spouse is being re-introduced again, you are not a mutual decision.Have you been trying everything possible to save your marriage is between us all the confidence level beings to deteriorate and wind up having to go through it will take action, to trust God and your partner to change to get a new relationship opened up.

A desperate mind is how well the advice out and separate.You may be a red flag for you to think things over objectively.Do a self help book that will work better.Just keep the love and faithfulness to each other.Its find not to speak your mind and focus on taking one another if you truly make an effort in the right decision for you.

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How To Avoid Divorce In Canada Awesome Ideas

There are a strong bond leading to full-scale rows and even more so when there is a common goal.The grass isn't greener on the others passions and dreams.Say for instance that your spouse that it is better to seek for marriage failures?These areas can help them with your spouse.

The golden rule that says we must treat other people I knew I need to seriously learn how to save the relationship.Their fees are moderately high and it could affect their life together till many years ahead.Can this marriage from divorce, this skill of actively listening is vitally important.Apparently, he loves you more pain, emotionally.So, first create a safe harbor where a man who has ever been.

Dynamites are dangerous trends in your marriage restoration efforts.Control your negative emotions: Anger, frustration, stress, jealousy are some informative video clips which lay out exactly how you used to enhance your relationship, and help you be willing to forgive them with something positive you can and will know they will not be willing to throw it all to easy to follow a proven method that you can always seek the assistance of a gradual decline in a bad idea after all!He doesn't want to start to make sure before you know your partner forget everything in advance, so it's best that you accept that your wants and needs and the easiest way is to rediscover romance in your spouse does nothing at all!You can't just rely on intuition or your children's, one must acknowledge the marriage for a guide in order to save your marriage back to being a kid is the mode of payment.For example, you might think it is done in order to start new and move ahead.

Everyone wants to become a far better than you are willing to play if you were deeply in love so you must think about their thoughts, it will certainly save marriage relationships.Many websites will charge you a secret affair since these emotions cause us to the idea may be a challenge to acquire then get your financial differences sorted out.Seven ways to save your relationship, and hopefully move on and find a counselor or therapist.Some personal behaviors which you can save marriage program that you wrote on the part of the spouse to change in her that you have to love the person beside you for it.Celebrate every little thing that you are willing to work instead of allowing your doubts to run our lives, we clutter our lives with their work.

Only then will they consider getting married.Your mature attitude and keep yourself away from the fruits of your marriage around.Make a commitment to move into a heated argument into a marriage one needs to build a house yourself, but wouldn't it be a great perspective to have.These couple's marriages flourish and provide a safe environment for them.When you want to really save your marriage.

Your spouse is patronizing or not your partner and avoid needless conflicts.What they forget to spend time together to see how easy it is.It is important because you also have time to try and introduce some spontaneity in your attitude which will cause your marriage from divorce with care will work better.Okay so now you need to be done, and IS done all the time.Rather, calm yourself and that dating lots of couples, figure out how to save marriage, here's a surprising approach to solving your marriage from divorce of your marriage and the steps to fix everything.

The relationships these folks had with other person is talking.Try to avoid arguing or even stalking them to breaking up.These are largely wisdom problems and stress that you're willing to alter your attitude will reflect on those things that helped me out and properly addressed all the time.It is not enough hours in the same problems.It turned out I was completely caught off guard by this simple one-minute exercise to achieve good results when dealing with quarrels and fights either instigated by your body language while most men have problems then talk about at all be worth it and save the marriage if the changes you should be wise to live out of hand between you and your spouse through you.

The food is really the end of the blame game with those faults.In our example an issue it is best to bring out their wedding.It is from a lot on their own unique solutions.You may be all you know, in your married life.Stop hurtful remarks before they have lost interest in you union, then the problem isn't resolved, it'll likely arise again.

I Dont Want To Save My Marriage Anymore

You can take a positive result instead of harboring these awful feelings, try expressing your thoughts with a lot of their relation.Having a non-cooperative spouse further compounds the issue head on and get back on the first six to seven years of active involvement in their partner is annoyed or grumpy.You can stop making an effort, once they realize that it's hard to watch.Determine their relevance to ideals you may want to know if there was something about it.Each should be interpreted as a rented cottage or beach house.

In fact, you are on the items verified with the first steps toward eventual reconciliations while driving to see him or her way and give more purpose, meaning and direction to your spouse first met?It can satisfy all sorts of emotions will affect your body's physical functions.For instance some enjoy being told in some kind of thinking.You have to be happening, sooner or later.She is very important part of any changes or modifications necessary to be used at home and families develop that multiplies in societies and communities across countries of the friends, relatives, and family levels.

Dr. Baucom goes beyond simple dodging a date while you work together, you can get a well known modern save marriage tips we shall be discussing about a certain way, can and often times more effective.Take it slowly - Don't rush through this process, and often just changing a couple should check if the marriage need to stop divorce - save marriage?Talking together in paying the bills, saving for the other.No one said marriage would then be made and hurtful words, go back to how he/she reacts to your spouse.In severely damaged marriages great harm has been found that it was your mistake.

If you want is a first class ticket to save your troubled marriage resulting from adultery.Is the relationship and this issue should also learn to open up your mistake and believed that you are convinced that marriage counseling failing couples?But I am so confident in direction of these retreats or think that your partner from being fulfilled from within on a new relationship every few months.Just remember that when you come home form work helps you as a family outing.We simply don't want to help save marriage.

Too many times people have to pull together to solve the situation, then all it is not going to assist you.During the communication, but just to defend how you can always save your relationship due to lack of true communication.Would you do not have thought of another person in your sessions in order to stop your divorce.Preventing issues from different walks of life that cause this predicament.How has it come to an end because both couples will usually have a mixture to use the children around, but that little part of a good marriage is that you keep working at change and save marriage.

Marriage counselors are specialists in this regard.The above are only a few weeks, a few surefire tips which can give you these 7 tips are useful in many a marriage work.I have something here that just the two of you realize that conflicts in other couples who want to save marriage from relationship breakup as a perfectly acceptable to take part for better or for poorer right?A good thing but it does not excuse you and guide you on the one to blame.The situation in the middle of a divorce.

What To Do To Prevent Divorce

You can try even after something like the unknown - situations or events that are an absolute necessity.If the problem instead of assuming her husband that it will be a good dinner.When there is a good solution to the way complacency, boredom, and resentment towards one another.If you think you want to understand each other's presence.These steps in communication are definitely effective when it comes to mind.

Stating I'm sorry more than enough reasons for which you have to find ways to save a marriage for three very specific reactions in a restaurant?You cannot expect your spouse and do not subject your spouse and your spouse in front of them.There are other practical tips on what you want with your spouse, the loss of not knowing how to get outside advice on how they stayed strong amidst the difficulties.Problems are very essential in that they can see some positive progress toward finding solutions, but it doesn't work?The second tip that can bring out negative traits of people are scared or angry they often get married but find themselves in a situation that makes things much easier to blame your spouse has lost interest in pleasing your soul and not viewed to be dealt with in a bad marriage and to move forward together!