#source: gaud

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Brelyna Maryon: Yes, I'm a reasonably intelligent person.

J'Zargo: Yes, J'Zargo is a dumbass and a fool.

Brelyna: Multiple things can be true.

Phoebus: I'm a part-time idiot. I take days off.

Onmund: I'm stupid by choice.

[emmikay]

Macavity: Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those!

[astros-turf]

Gaud, I'd go with you to the dentist if I could. Dentists appointments can be a lot but having a buddy to chat with the hygienist and doctors can help! (Source: this is what I do for my spouse lol and the biggest deterrent from me going for my appointments even tho I love the dentist)

sorry, can't today. the narrative forces aren't aligned

[ablogtopost]

"Magnum Bullarium Romanum" (Augustae Taurinorum Editum) Francisco Gaude.

("Bullarum Diplomatum et Privilegiorum", Taurinensis).

Tomo I (São Leão Magno á Nicolau II)

https://books.google.com.au/books?id=J-9EAAAAcAAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_atb#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo II (Alexandre II, São Gregório VII, Victor III, Urbano II á Alexandre III)

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=R-9EAAAAcAAJ&printsec=frontcover&hl=pt-BR&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo III (Lúcio III a Clemente IV):

https://archive.org/details/BR-Tomo-03/page/n2/mode/1up

Tomo IV (Gregório X á Martinho V):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=DCxOAQAAMAAJ&printsec=frontcover&hl=pt-BR&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo V (Eugênio IV á Leão X):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=aixOAQAAMAAJ&pg=PP5&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo VI (Adriano VI á Paulo IV):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=2V7-MMnXzSoC&printsec=frontcover&hl=pt-BR#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo VII (Pio IV á São Pio V)

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=Ze1H9EW79dEC&pg=PP9&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo VIII (Gregório XIII á Sixto V):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=0iQhJEsfFOIC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_book_other_versions_r&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo IX (Sixto V á Clemente VIII):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=-JVXMQAACAAJ&printsec=frontcover&hl=pt-BR&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo X (Clemente VIII):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=ZZ2HYMos8e8C&pg=PR3&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo XI (Clemente VIII á Paulo V):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=TL5XAAAAcAAJ&pg=PR3&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo XII (Paulo V á Gregório XV):

https://archive.org/details/BR-Tomo-12/page/n2/mode/1up

Tomo XIII (Urbano VIII):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=TcsGwANoiLYC&pg=PR3&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo XIV (Urbano VIII):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=RKDJ6wfk7d8C&pg=PR3&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo XV (Urbano VIII á Inocêncio X)

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=cOpEAAAAcAAJ&pg=PR1&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo XVI (Alexandre VII):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=SBB8oaIcJsgC&pg=PR3&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo XVII (Alexandre VII á Clemente IX):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=vepEAAAAcAAJ&pg=PR5&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo XVIII (Clemente X):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=X0sMWkiP7vcC&pg=PR3&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo XIX (Inocêncio XI):

https://archive.org/details/BR-Tomo-19/page/n3/mode/1up

Tomo XX (Alexandre VIII á Inocêncio XII):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=j33R9K2lPxQC&pg=PR3&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo XXI (Clemente XI á Inocêncio XIII):

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=UsBXAAAAcAAJ&pg=PR1&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo XXII (Bento XIII):

https://archive.org/details/BR-Tomo-22/page/n3/mode/1up

Tomo XXIII (Clemente XII)

https://books.google.com.br/books?id=dSUs1AzU3r8C&pg=PR3&source=gb_mobile_entity&hl=pt&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&gl=BR&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Tomo XXIV (Clemente XII):

https://archive.org/details/BR-Tomo-24/page/n3/mode/1up

[wawerrell]

Vaughan Mazursky, the Czarina

Those souls brave enough to phone the lady who ruled over middle schoolers with an iron fist probably found it disconcerting to hear that Vaughan Mazursky’s voicemail greeting was a low-quality recording of ABBA she had made by holding the receiver up to the stereo: "Mamma mia, here I go again!" In that musical limbo before the beep, former students might be forgiven for pondering the absurdity of having to reconcile the piped-in Swedish ballad with scenes of remembered terror from GAWA: the Czarina charging, at almost a 45-degree angle, toward the disobedient student’s desk, gaining momentum and fury as she closed the distance. Personally, my thoughts waiting for the beep hovered not over her classroom by the Ashley but over the land of ABBA — Stockholm in particular: I had come to deeply love my captor.

Outré incongruities were the A’s and T’s, C’s and G’s of Ms. Mazursky, who was nothing if not surprising, contradictory, weird, and beautiful. After all, one does not become the Czarina by having even a single fleeting worry about what others might think.

Ms. Mazursky died this morning, threading a cosmic needle: she held on just long enough to see her Democrats succeed in Kentucky, Ohio, and Virginia — and left just early enough to avoid the Republican debate.

No teacher ever challenged me in the precise way the Czarina did. So unabashedly herself — it was the Czarina who, just a few years ago, broke the indecisive lull on the dancefloor at my sister’s wedding, rushing out after just a few chords of Marvin Gaye — Ms. Mazursky had no patience for artificiality, conformity, or normality. Her mere existence gave weird kids the permission to be themselves. Indeed, so far removed from the normal and typical was she that she frequently ignored normal, typical things like bells and closed doors. Sharon Tate had fewer unwelcome guests than Dr. Slayton, whose classes the Czarina — more often than not halfway through a sentence before the door had fully opened — routinely annexed with talk of NCAA shakeups or political shakedowns.

Thinking of her as I look out at my own students writing essays, I am grateful that among the most critical skills she taught generations of eighth graders was how to distinguish between reliable and unreliable sources, invaluable for navigating messy global affairs. Such a practice feels extra handy today, though, because it can be hard to distinguish between fact and legend upon hearing any Mazoo story: Did she once extol the value of Hammurabi’s Code as a classroom management device? (Yes.) Did she swear us to silence while she went to the copy room only to hear us talking upon her return and proceed to ask each student, one by one, to swear, on their mother’s life, that they had not violated the silent sanctum of the Czarina? (Also yes.) Had she indeed pioneered the medically inadvisable no-water-only-TAB diet? (Probably yes.) Did she antagonize a Soviet tank to spark a revolution? (Absolutely yes.)

A rule of thumb I’ve found helpful over the years is a simple substitution: if the story still sounds feasible after having swapped out “the Czarina” for “the Trunchbull,” then, with few exceptions, the story is probably true.

Teaching us the poetry of the Enlightenment, Wesley Moore began with a stunning visual: Alexander Pope clocked in at four-and-a-half feet of bone-crunching fury. In short, as it were, we sophomore English students should imagine Alexander Pope as an Augustan Vaughan Mazursky. But, while Pope was many things, to my knowledge he never insisted that flocks of middle schoolers swear an oath of undying fealty to serve him as his boyars, never arranged his social and academic schedule around the ‘Hoos, and — despite his fair share of quirks and eccentricities — did not grow up in the splash radius of a nuclear power plant.

Vaughan Mazursky, the Czarina of Porter-Gaud, did.

More than anyone else, Ms. Mazursky taught me that the political is personal. Uninformed or unexamined political belief was not ideology, she taught us, but instinct. (She did go on to explain that, because many of us were genetically undifferentiated from the apes of Borneo, instinct was, in fairness, the closest we could get to an actual ideology.) When I thought that I could skate by on cruise control as a fellow liberal, the Czarina put an end to any such illusion. For Latin, I had made a poster of politicians I admire — in a reactionary, teenaged kind of way, I decided to paint with too broad a brush — the Czarina ripped it from my hands, took a sip of Diet Coke, pointed out Ted Kennedy, pointed at me, pointed back at Ted Kennedy, and, squinting up at my face, said: “Werrell, you dingbat. He killed a woman. Read a newspaper or open a book before you decide to admire someone.”

Politics was the backbone of her life and of her classes. George McGovern, sun-faded and looking down from the bulletin board, was the perpetual teacher’s aide in the classroom, part of each conversation: “Well, George, how about that?” A few years later, she emerged from Senator Obama’s speech cistern yard at College of Charleston and landed on national newspapers, arms triumphantly up and looking like she was in a montage from “Rocky.” 

Despite the urban legends generations of eighth graders shared with younger students, I feel like I can confidently say that Ms. Mazursky never killed any student — though even that would not curtail my admiration for her.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Rogue: Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those!

[limetimo]

my hc is that there are several definitions of Dark/Light magic that coexist, overlap and clash. If people want to discuss Dark Arts they must first agree which definition they're talking about

The Ministry's definition is just a list, pretty much as you said. "Somebody caused a lot of trouble with this spell and we forbid it."

There's Dark Arts Theory named after Hepro the Foul that claims that certain type(s) of magic corrupts the soul. Making a Horcrux literally mutilates the soul and is described as the darkest of dark arts. Dark Arts would then affect the caster in a fundamental way.

Then there's the fantastic take from this one fanfic (which I'll link if I find it). I'll call it the Patronus model. Patronus, the lightest of magic, is sourced from an emotion - happiness. Emotion -> Light Magic happens. When Bella is gauding Harry into casting Crucio, she says "You have to mean it." Intent -> Dark Magic happens. Yes, the entire field of transfiguration would be considered dark magic.

And more, each researcher probably had their own definition they used. Creatures and non-humans were prosecuted regardless of their adjacency to Dark Magic simply because they weren't (fully) human

I headcanon that It was Grindelwald who ducked up the Dark Art's reputation in the western world. He used them a normal amount? I didn't watch Fantastic Beasts 2 or 3 so idk. Either way: Dumbledore, not wanting to admit that his lover would be capable of the things he did, blamed Dark Arts for Gellert's evilness (see: the Hepro Theory). And then went on to raise several generations of British wizards and witches to be prejudiced against Dark Arts. Except the kiddos weren't properly taught what Dark Arts were and what they entailed. They only had the vague idea of dark = bad, bad = dark, light = good, good = light.

Pureblood families with their generations of knowledge and books wouldn't be so quick to buy into Dumbledore's defamation of such a large portion of magic. They, at least some of them, would start hoarding and protecting these parts of their culture. Which could be one reason why the Grimmauld Place 12 and Malfoy Manor hold so many Dark artefacts off dubious legality.

(my other hc for Grimmauld is that Walburga was a collector. A woman needs a hobby!)

(This tension between the so-called Light and Dark had to be profound enough for young Tom Riddle to pick up on it. He used it and the anti-muggle sentiments to gather followers amongst the rich and important.)

Dark Arts rant, apperently?

I don’t know how this happened but here we go:

Dark Arts classification makes no fucking sense. It’s technically legal according to wiki?? But throughout the whole series we have the “good” characters be viciously against them. Knockturn Alley is a thing but people are scared to go there. Ministry can just raid Malfoy’s house and fine them for having Dark objects in there so it’s not really legal??

One of the most obvious examples of stigma: in the fifth book they just throw away every dark object they don’t like from Grimmauld. But they have to have an actual use because why the fuck would the Black family just store useless trash at their home. The house that they fucking lived in. This shit could be so fucking useful if they just took the time to learn how to use it. Guys you’re going into a war why are u throwing away potentially very lethal useful weapons

They’re classified as magic that can cause harm but Light spells cause harm all the same and are still taught at school. There’s also an entire subject called Defense Against the Dark Arts. The wiki says they’re divided into jinxes, hexes and curses so at Hogwarts they learn at least one Dark spell (the Knockback Jinx) if we’re going by that logic (tho I can be misunderstanding something)?? We know about the unforgivables, but tbh at least for Avada you could find a way to use it ethically, for example in hospitals. It’s painless death. There could be a consent form you can sign that if for example you’re in a vegetative state, or idk a coma for a set amount of time, or just in fucking misery waiting to die, you can do it painlessly. Idk about you but if I was in horrible pain with no chance of recovery I would prefer that

Also the whole “Dark Arts damage the soul/the only defense against them is love” thing Dumbledore is on is just. So much fucking propaganda. I’m not even getting into it

Now we’re going more into speculation territory, but imo Dark Arts are obviously an important part of wizarding culture, seeing how many old families practice it. They have to be at least stigmatized, and partially illegal, at least in terms of dark objects (would that include books?). We all know how dark creatures are treated, ie werewolves/Remus.

but also, like, I genuinely can not believe all dark arts is designed to harm people. why would generations upon generations of those same families devote their entire lives to that. again and again. Don’t they have better things to do?

The Ministry is against dark arts. Hogwarts is against dark arts. Old timey families value it and hold it to a pedestal.

I suspect there’s some form of government regulations. Like, let’s say you’re making a new spell. I don’t think spellcrafting is a job so you’re just a scholar. You create it, it works, you’re happy. How do you share it with people? Maybe you would like it to be taught at Hogwarts, because you think people would generally benefit from knowing it. But to add it to a school curriculum, you need to get it approved. The Ministry handles it. So you go and register the spell. There’s now a list of approved (light) magic tm

And that’s where I think the distinction comes from. If the Ministry approves it, it’s Light. If they don’t, because they consider it harmful, it’s dark and illegal. And it’s put on a list of illegal things, idk. You can be prosecuted if someone catches you casting it

So Dark Arts are the things, spells, potions, etc, which the Ministry disallows the use of. But it’s also all the things that didn’t even try to register themselves. All the magical innovations that went under the radar.

Of course, you still want to share your inventions with people (or you don’t so you keep it hidden and nobody ever knows about it but we’re not talking about these types of cases here). You publish a book, a paper, something. In secret, of course, because it’s illegal, since it’s not on the LightTM list.

And that’s how the old families learn this shit. It’s a secret book club except the books are self published by the members.

So of course, some of it is harmful. Magic tends to be. But some of it is just not approved, and you don’t question why. You just use it.

(Also, Ollivander has a secret deal with all of these families, that for additional galleons, he removes the trace from the kids’ wands. It’s been like that ever since the distinction between Light and Dark magic came to be. They have to keep the business afloat, am I right?)

[lassieposting]

"Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those!"

- Nefarian Serpine at some point, probably

[incorrectotome]

Hoshino: Yes, I'm a reasonably intelligent person

Hoshino: Yes I'm a dumbass and a fool

Hoshino: Multiple things can be true

Okazaki: I'm a part-time idiot. I take days off.

Enomoto: I'm stupid by choice

[incorrect-vdf-quotes]

Sara : Si je meurs tragiquement vous avez pas intérêt à dire que j'avais bon coeur et que je vous faisais sourire. Oh et par pitié, je n'étais pas active pour le groupe. Faut pas déconner

Raul : Ton éloge funèbre ça va être "Elle était très active, à notre grand chagrin"

Dario : "L'ambiance devenait plus sinistre dès qu'elle entrait quelque part"

Stella : "Elle faisait sourire les gens... de gré ou de force"

Judith : "Savoir qu'elle est à présent dans un monde bien pire nous réconforte"

Sara : *sourit* Parfait !

[bellamioneotp]

Bellatrix: Plagued by demons as I am, my crops have withered.

Hermione: You forgot to water the houseplant again, didn't you?

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Alvivecia, after being pardoned and released from prison: Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those!

[bananonbinary]

i feel like we as a community need to have a long talk about what “crack” actually means cause i just saw a coffee shop au tagged as crack and have given up on words meaning things

[mariposakitten]

Gaud, ilu but I've followed you long enough that I had to at least WONDER if it might really be just an intentionally crappy photoshop that you were inflicting on us for your own goofy reasons, so I checked and -

This came from NASA's official website y'all:

That's really what this shit looks like 😭

(Source)

NASA took a pic of the dark side of the moon fyi

[toxictrannyfreak]

Hey just want to let you know that Gaud isn't a good person and you should probably block them

Um... wtf is wrong with Gaud?

[i-like-gay-books]

friendly reminder that if you’re a gaud anti and don’t even have receipts to show me why, I don’t respect you as a person and you should question who you heard that gaud is bad from and what exactly the evidence they showed you to convince you is