#sources give both & idk which is more accepted

[continent-of-wild-endeavor]

Smallanthus uvedalia - Bear's foot, hairy/yellowflower leafcup

[inphront]

thinking tonight about griddlehark as doomed by not seeing power and control as linked/trying to have one without the other.

harrow is desperate for control over every aspect of her situation, breaking down the moment anything happens that she can't predict or change or have agency in, but she's consumed by guilt and horror at the idea of being in power. she takes so much pride in necromancy as an element of her world and life where she is capable and a genius and in control, and it's a massive source of internal contention because one of the biggest gears turning her character is the cost of that control, and the fact that necromancy is inherently caught up in power dynamics. ianthe notices this about her in the epiparados: she's used to having her hands on the reins, can't cope when they're taken off, and doesn't have the personality to put them back on. harrow wants to run the ninth for the sake of having control over it, but situations like her birth where she has clear power over it make her want to die. she wants control over gideon, but is horrified by the power differential involved within necro/cav relationships. harrowhark deals horribly with uncertainty. she doesn't want power, just certainty, and therefore control. much of her arc involves the recognition that it is impossible to control an equal, which is her fundamentally impossible want: to be gideon's equal without giving her the right to leave, to be necromantically capable without the leveraging of power over her house that this requires, and the ability to align the world with what is just without the social position or the force so often involved in making meaningful change.

meanwhile, gideon has never felt important to anyone. her most fundamental desire is to be important to someone, and this manifests in her military fantasies and rebellion against authority as a desire for power. she wants the status and the catharsis of being at the top of a podium she's spent her life crushed underneath. but she doesn't put much thought into actually using any of this power she wants so badly. gideon doesn't want power for the sake of agency, but for the sake of admiration, which is how she ends up as a figurehead-- someone theoretically in a position of total power, with no control over even her own body. even her self-actualization as a cavalier was, to some extent, an acceptance of a title and a position within the empire under the understanding that she would be used. expressions of power, such as killing crux, don't feel good to her, but the concept of power itself, of having important parents and prestige and a big sword and recognition, do.

and how can they explain this to each other? they're both trying to take opposite halves of a mutually inclusive set. it's no wonder, then, that the tragedies of their relationship are desperate attempts to give each other things they don't want: gideon's death makes harrow far more powerful under terms harrow can't control. harrow then attemps to control those terms, and by extension to give gideon back her life and her agency, which gideon interprets as revoking the power she had over harrow's emotions and memory (as well as her imperial title, which may not indicate much power but sure does mean more than "indentured servant to the ninth"). for much of gtn, harrow had both power and control, while gideon had neither, and i expect this to switch when they interact in atn because it is impossible to only have one. in this way, their relationship raises a lot of questions about power structures as a whole: what do you do when changing the world requires you to leverage power against other people? what do you do when positive recognition inherently comes with a responsibility to be cruel? when relinquishing your capacity to hurt people limits your capacity to help, and when getting out from under the boot means putting it on? how do interactions with power and control interpersonally reflect systemic influence?

idk mostly i just shake them

[liquidstar]

Speaking of genderbends tbh mimagau:if is still the most nothingburger what:if route to me. It's just the same thing with everyone's names swapped 😭 I like the characters themselves, and there are some differences because of the gender swap... But none really say much to say- There's no meat. It's just an aesthetic change, which is fine, but doesn't give you much to chew on. I still think it's fun, especially with fan designs but...

I honestly think it would have been more interesting as a story if ONLY Subaru was genderswapped. The way Subaru perceived his masculinity (and wears a mask of it) was an important part of his arc and the way he interacted with other characters. How could that be different if Subaru was a girl?

You'd imagine her whole personality would change but... I don't think so. I think she'd still end up idolizing Kenichi the same way and basically end up in the same place. But I think the way she interacts with other people would be very different, mimagau Subaru works just fine as is. The issue is that since everyone else also changed the interactions stayed fairly similar and the dynamics are only really swapped on the surface.

How would Subaru, who'd consider herself straight, react to Emilia? A best friend? An idol? The amazing beautiful type of girl she could never be? Would she envy her at all? Would "I wanna be like her" come with the undercurrent of "I wanna be with her?" Would she fall in love slowly, then all at once? I imagine the feelings would be far more mixed, and she'd still end up placing Emilia on a pedestal but in a very different way.

On the other hand, Rem... I think Rem would still absolutely fall in love with Subaru in the same way for the same reason. And think about the tension this would cause that's not there in the original dynamic! Think about how the "from zero" speech changes context, the idea that a confession of love from a girl could make Subaru admit and accept her feelings for another girl. To show her that it's okay.

And what about Julius? Would Julius even duel Subaru at all? Julius is the Knight of Knights, known for his chivalry and grace. Beating the shit out of a helpless girl would be such a stain on that reputation, even the other knights probably wouldn't do it. Even if things do go down similarly at the selection hearing, I can't imagine Julius would go as far as he did in canon. Maybe Subaru would feel frustrated and looked down upon since things aren't escalating because of her gender. Maybe she'd escalate them herself

And the idea of Subaru being a knight could have greater importance once you consider it's super male dominated. Proving herself to be just as good as any man would probably be a motivating factor, and her eventual knighting coming because she loved a woman wholly and openly would be a really powerful statement.

Oh and how would Natsumi Schwartz change? (Natsuo Schwartz? idk lol). Main route Subaru uses the Natsumi identity to gain confidence, and does so by accepting his femininity as a source of it. In this route, I imagine Subaru would crossdress as a form of asserting her masculinity and gaining confidence from that. A similar situation but different circumstances (main route Subaru suppressed his femininity, while in this route Subaru would have always kinda been a tomboy trying to prove herself, since they're both emulating Kenichi)

Just think about it.

[menlove]

yknow your fantastic post about closeted paul and how he's (probably) come to accept his queerness/bisexuality, but simply keeps it private for multiple reasons? what would you say was john's case?

(i personally believe he was a closeted gay man but idk how to Phrase Things. Sigh.)

oh i 10000000% believe john was a gay man with a lot of Problems. like. i know, i know, in later life he talked about liking men & women & we have that hysterical "john lennon's bisexual guide to gardening" quote but likeeeeeeeeee.... idk. here's my Speculations under the cut

several things, to me. yes, he fucked a lot of women (a lot). but of the 4 of them, during the beatles years he really didn't.... have any steady girlfriends. it's not like he was the only married one and it's not like he had any hangups about cheating, so it's really not that. the ONLY rumor there is was one that he "dated" an older woman (blanking on her name rn) and even thennnn those rumors were, afaik, just based on the fact that he was kind of sad when she died & that he viewed her as a mother figure. which is... i mean that's not convincing like at all to me.

the Three Biggest Relationships in his life w women were cynthia, yoko, and may pang. the rest were women he fucked around with as one night stands. again, as far as i'm aware. and cynthia..... well it's not really hard to see that he very much (unfortunately) did not give that much of a fuck about her. it's the most classic case of comphet i've ever seen. he dated her bc he was supposed to & then he married her bc she got pregnant and he was supposed to.

and yoko....... lord. i won't deny that he loved her. but it was, from literally everything we've seen, a very obsessive love that had less to do w their personal chemistry and more to do with Circumstances. and even with her, there's sooo many quotes of him talking about how he liked her bc she looked like a man, or looked like him in drag, or acted like a bloke/best mate. that's. not to doubt him but that's just not something someone into women says lmfao.

and that's not to mention the whole debacle w probable conversion therapy. and like. this is no hate to yoko & again i believe she was a flawed individual just like any of them were & we have truly got to embrace her morally gray status just like any man bc we can't demonize OR idealize women when women are Literally Just People. but from some of her quotes & outside sources she was very uncomfortable w the idea of his queerness. and hell, there's the "you think of rock hudson when we do it" line, which is both honestly pretty fucking homophobic but also very indicative of where john was, sexuality wise

and as for may, that whole situation was honestly so fucked up and tragic for Both of them that getting into it would take a novel but like. that wasn't exactly his first choice in partner

and in his quotes about Being Into Men, what he says is basically that with women he is fine fucking without an emotional connection but w men he needs that emotional connection & he hasn't found that with a man. which i think is him bullshitting, btw, but the core of it there that he can't fuck a man without emotions is... well that's really telling. it seems like sex with women to him is just sex, whereas sex with men to him is a deep, emotional thing. and that's, again, just not really something someone into women would be saying with their chest

i'm pretty sure he Also has a quote about never having found a woman attractive which is just telling all on its own

and as for Being Into Men...... well he talked about it himself. but also, there's at LEAST stuart, paul, and brian that would go right at the top of the list for me of men he had an incredibly close & intimate relationship with, one-sided or not. i don't think it's incidental that he referred to paul constantly as his other partner in life, his other marriage, etc while like. literally barely ever mentioning cynthia. like it's super telling, the johnandpaul of it aside, that he talks more about his Boy Best Friend when talking about past marriages than his literal wife lmfao

i think he had a LOT of internalized homophobia & anger with himself over it ("scared of his inner fag" as he said). bc of that, i don't think he let himself get as close to the men he was probably in love with as he wanted to be, or even let himself acknowledge just how emotionally attached he was to them. by the end of his life, i think he WAS coming to terms with liking men, at least. was he coming to terms with Not liking women? i don't know. probably not, although i know his and yoko's marriage was in a rough place by the end of his life so who knows really.

i would hope that if he'd lived that by now he would've found peace w his sexuality, bi or gay, but that's not the world we got unfortunately

[marcskywalker]

merthur au/prompts I can't stop thinking about (@ fic writers)

arthur being magic positive and hiding it from merlin. I spoke more about it here and @neupulman wrote this amazing fic based on it but omg this idea lives in my head RENT FUCKING FREE and I'd love as many fics written on it as possible

merlin being cursed (or wtv) and temporarily loses his magic. He grows insanely controlling of arthur cause he feels like he can no longer protect arthur from danger if he doesn't have magic and is constantly trying is order him around. no, you're not allowed to go there, no you can't say that, no you're not allowed to accept food from him. and arthur is just ?????? tf is wrong with my best friend?? but doesn't read much into it because it's merlin and merlin's always been a little weird and bossy. merlin keeps getting into so much more trouble (cause again, his usual way of staying out of trouble is magic) so arthur's put in position to protect him more often and both of them are ???????? "why THE FUCK ARE you putting yourself in danger for me??" and "WHY ARE YOU getting into so much trouble??" until they figure out that "oh you're in love with me and can't bare to see any harm come to me" and "oh you have magic and someone already hurt you by taking it away"

Arthur meeting Merlin's family for the first time and being accepted. Idk how clear I can make this but I hate Arthur's family and how is he is treated by them (except you ygraine, you're dead and lovely) so ya someone give that boy loving affirmations

One of them is brainwashed/mind controlled/possessed and beats the shit out of the other person who refuses to fight back. I LOVE this trope. It slaps all the time. Look at destiel. Look at stucky. ALL THE TIME

another au that I've spoke about before AND I'LL SPEAK ABOUT IT AGAIN: I took that scene where Arthur says "I'll give up my crown just see her smile again" or something like that about morgana, and ran with it. There is only so many assassination attempts a brother can go through before he wilts and does another to have his sister back. In Arthur's case: he willingly hands over the throne for a chance at having a chance at his pesty, loving, older sister (I AM A YOUNGER BROTHER ARTHUR TRUTHER) look at him with something other than endless hate. what I Love about this prompt is that it could go so so many different ways. @mobycotton was lovely enough to write this amazing fic for me that I LOVED. In my head, Arthur is really shaken up by another one of Morgana's attempts at killing him. He doesn't know what's saved him and at this point he wishes whatever it is would stop. He goes down a spiral thinking of his family; the mother that he killed, the father that he let down, the uncle he betrayed and the sister he never deserved. What good could he be for Camelot when he wasn't even good enough for his flesh and blood. So he announces his truce; gives it over to morgana and leaves Camelot and everyone he knows behind. The knights and merlin have to eventually hunt him down and convince him otherwise (and he meets random people along the way who are stans of King Arthur just like me and he gets some sort of self esteem back)

Protective BAMF merlin. Basically merlin overhears someone talking shit about his prince and starts a fist fight. Arthur finds out

Mid s1 merthur where Arthur knows he's in love with Merlin and he shoves it DEEP inside, sticks to pining after his manservant like the pathetic (lovingly) puppy he is. All Merlin knows is that, for whatever reason, he would rather eat his own feet than let anything happen to Arthur. Which is why when brave, stupid arthur walks towards a stranger light source in the forest; he follows without hesitation, only to see...... arthur and himself snogging against a tree? Basically a pining, repressed prince Arthur and Merlin I don't know what this weird feeling in my tummy when I see him is Emrys accidentally walks through a portal into an alternatively universe where they know how to communicate well and have been disgustingly in love. The four of them have to work together to get Arthur and Merlin back where they belong.

Merlin makes a deal with his king cenred: for protection of his village, he will infiltrate Camelot's castle and bring them down. He just wishes someone had told him that prince charming of Camelot would make him fall in love with his pouty lips and gooey eyes. I don't know if yáll have noticed this but Arthur pouts A LOT. I can't take him seriously smh

[metamatar]

ok so i am very much uninformed on politics, i decided at a younger age that i wasn't interested in it and therefore would not read or keep myself particularly informed about it. obviously this is a bad idea, and i want to change and keep myself informed on actual politics and well, abstract[?] (wrong word but cannot think of another, basically mean like. knowing which political .. stance ?? [idk. like marxist or communist or whatever] i might be.) ones as well. what's a good place to get started here? where do i look for actual politics going on in india since i'm pretty sure ndtv or whatever isn't exactly the best source? or maybe it is? idk, like i said i'm pretty uninformed on the matter but would like to learn more

so one thing is, in india you have to accept the media landscape is just dire because being a journalist with integrity is a bit like signing up to have your life ruined. all major media has been bought by hindutva already. what you have to do is more learn to read between lines, understand people's motivations, which is a matter of practice. a good way to start is to read analysis (not news reports) of the same incident in different media and you'll start noticing patterns. even more important imo is to talk and bounce ideas with a friend at a similar place as you or someone interested in politics who won't overwhelm you with their perspective. you can try online but idt its safe or advisable anymore to do that experiment online. i had debate club in university (sad) and some socialist reading groups (better) after. the thing is this journey to self education is kind of personal and im also not pedagogically oriented or trained? so lots of first person description instead of prescriptions.

i still check what's up on ndtv because it gives me a good pulse of what english language media and liberals are thinking. major newspapers i scan hindu and the indian express sometimes. online i have a look at newslaundry (also has some youtube content) and the wire, they're reader supported and haven't turned full hindutva yet. i read longer form things in the caravan and epw, but these are subscription based. i keep tabs on the latest round of hindutva fake news when alt news debunks it.

for the abstract things, i literally did an online course bc i was frustrated by what all the liberal arts grads seemed to already agree on. i did ian shapiro's moral foundations of politics which is available online as both youtube lectures and a textbook. if you want to go that route feel free but it's not necessary, you can also try to read the entries on wikipedia or stanford encyclopedia of philosophy (more expertise) when you encounter something unfamiliar and build up like that. podcasts like bbc in our time will often interview academics to give intros to many political philosophy concepts and thinkers. whatever your learning style supports! i think the important thing is to find something you are actually interested in, and take that tack. i like history, so i might read books about historical revolutions or historical forms of organising society or listen to podcasts like mike duncan's revolutions.

For communism the usual starting points are these very short pamphlets:

Principles of Communism by Engels

The Manifesto of the Communist Party by Marx

Wage-Labor and Capital by Marx

Socialism: Utopian and Scientific by Engels

feel free to ask for more specific questions!

[definitelynotshouting]

you've talked before about how the watchers are going to go extinct at some point in the future due to being competed out of their ecological niche by the listeners. which got me thinking. couldn't... something that might prevent that... be... whatever doc's machine is going to be? LIKE. don't get me wrong that would not be a good or workable idea for many, MANY reasons on ALL sides here. it's not like the continued existence of the watchers as a race is even something that literally any character in the fic, including and especially grian, even actually wants, like grian would be jumping for joy if you walked up to him and told him the watchers are gonna go extinct. but like. it's coming to me that the eventual endpoint of the fic is that grian's food issues are taken care of and he will be secure and well-fed for the foreseeable future, while the rest of the watchers as a society are doomed to slow extinction via starvation. which just. idk. makes me feel stuff.

Tbh i also feel things about this-- theres a very grim undertone to the whole au when you really look at it beyond Grian's experiences. It is, i think, at its core a quietly bleak concept, and i dont blame you for having some weird feelings about it. I dont necessarily set out to make those canon ofc, but sometimes the worldbuilding leads to these kind of conclusions, and its definitely very gut-wrenching when you really think about it

Ideally, yes, Doc's machine would be able to feed the Watchers-- though whether or not they'd accept that solution is a different story. I think the best way i can give some insight on this is via an analogy; think of, lets say....... livestock. You're a keeper of livestock, and one day one of your cows comes up to you and offers you a limitless supply of raw potatoes in exchange for not eating cows anymore. And like-- you could!! You could do that!!! Potatoes are nutritionally capable of supporting the vast majority of your needs, food-wise, but theyre just. Raw potatoes. They taste bad and they're ultimately very boring to eat day after day. And maybe if you're looking to turn vegan, you'd take this offer in less than a heartbeat. But your average person is not gonna wanna give up dairy or steak, or their livelihood. Its kinda like that-- the Players are a food source for Watchers, and barring that, a cradle for Watcher larvae.

I think ultimately Grian wouldnt like. Be jumping for joy at the concept of the Watchers going extinct-- i think his reaction would be far more complicated, marked by both compassion (he's starved-- he knows how terrible it is) and fear (they are the main source of his trauma). Like i just generally think his feelings on the matter boil down to "i hope i never have to see them again, they can go exist over there as far away from me as possible" if that makes sense. But i wouldnt say he'd be cheering for their deaths-- just that once its clear Listeners are competing them out, it'd be a foregone conclusion to him. A very objectively sad but inescapable inevitability :(

[lys-lilac]

[RMD] Whispers of Yuletide Promises: Kasumi X MC

[A/N]: Hey there it's been a while! This work of me was lying in my folders for so so long, something which I worked upon last Christmas haha. Thanking my lovely @sterkeyra for taking so much of her time not only to proofread, but also suggest corrections to make it much better. So I will share half the credits with her, hehe. (Jenjen I love you!) Anyway, enjoy and let me know your thoughts!

(The characters in this work are fictional and from the title Romance MD: Always on Call by Voltage Inc. No copyrights intended.)

(out of context cute pic cause idk but I love them :p)

It was another day in the Seimei University Hospital as the subtle chill of the air was evident, hinting at the upcoming Christmas season. A sigh leaves MC's lips, as she stretches her body after work, looking at the spark of festivity in the staff's and patients' faces, sipping her coffee. Toshiki notices how she is looking around the Christmas celebration in the hospital, with a cup of coffee in his hand as well. The children, the cards they are making and the people wearing the red hats... He can see the glimmer in her eyes as she is looking all around. So he whispers to her.

"I am glad to see you so happy. Is Christmas your favorite holiday?"

A gentle pat lands on her head, which makes her snap out of her thoughts as she looks up towards the source of these sweet words.

"Ah, Dr. Kasumi, good work."

"Thank you. I am grateful that we both did a good job today. And, it is really nice to see the Christmas celebrations in our hospital. I can't wait to see what the New Year celebrations as well. But I have more important things on my mind right now."

"Yeah? What's that?"

He whispers softly, so only she can hear him.

"I keep thinking about hugging and kissing you. Could I perhaps ask you to give me one kiss before we go home? I'm not sure how long I can control myself otherwise."

"?!"

Her face flushes instantly as she looks at him with wide eyes and mouth hanging open.

"Uh... do you realize where we are?"

He laughs and whispers to her.

"What's on my mind right now is way more important than the fact that we are in front of our colleagues. So, is it too much to ask for a quick kiss? Or am I going to be punished if I do this? I don't really mind the punishment, if I can get to kiss you. And, by the look on your face, it seems you might have similar ideas in mind as well. So just let me go ahead with my plan."

"Since when did you become like this... Just three days ago I heard a certain someone, chewing off Dr. Hosho's ears for flouting public morals…"

"That was in the past. You can't blame me for the way I am behaving today. This is all your influence. You are just way too cute and your beautiful eyes are too distracting. It's driving me wild and making me want to kiss you again and again."

"D-Don't say such things in workplace." She covers his lips with her hands, to which he laughs softly, removes her hands from his lips, and whispers in a playful tone.

"See, there you go again with your sweet and cute shyness. Who knows how much of it would I be able to handle before I just snap?”

"S-Snap? What…"

"It means I might just grab your jaw and sneak a kiss right here and now. But, I won’t  make you uncomfortable at work.

"I understand that, you dummy!"

"Does that mean I can go ahead and kiss you one more time?"

"No. We have so much work, we have to buy a Christmas tree too, so. Bye." His suggestive words had taken a toll on her and she could just run away to hide her loudly beating heart from him. He laughs softly and goes after her.

"You can't really get away from me. I will keep on chasing you until you accept my kisses. I don't care how many things are on our to-do list today, as my top priority is to wrap my arms around you and make you all mine. So come back here, MC."

*A few hours later, she signs off work, and soon enough, she's out of the hospital, and waits for him at the hospital entrance. Shortly after, he takes his leave from the hospital as well. He takes his car out of the parking lot and brings it over to the entrance, where she was waiting for him.

"Get in."

She nods and gets inside, as he shuts the door watching out so that she doesn’t hit her head, and soon starts driving. But in his mind, all that was swirling was a kiss from her. He behaved at the hospital, so he deserved it as a reward. At least that’s what he thought.

"Toshiki."

Hearing her voice, he snaps out of his thoughts and looks at her, as the car comes to a halt at the redlight.

“Mm, I am listening.”

" I have something to discuss with you. Come closer, it's confidential." She gestures with her hand lightly. He laughs softly at her cute gestures and responds. He leans towards her and gets very close to her,  her breath practically tickling his ears. But he is waiting for her to share what she wanted to secretly tell him. She smiles seeing he fell into her trap, as she uses her thumb and index finger to hold his face by his cheeks, and pecks him.

Her sudden peck flusters him, as he gets all red and embarrassed. He feels like hugging her tightly, but at the same time, was too stunned to move at all. It was rare for her to actually initiate affectionate gestures like this

"That's definitely a cruel prank. Just remember that I will take my revenge on you for this tonight."

"Ahem. The light's green." She looks ahead as she pulls away, as if nothing happened. He smiles lightly, and they drive away.

"It's getting a little hard to keep my mind off you right now. Your kiss from earlier is still stuck in my mind, so can I tell you one last thing before we begin shopping for that Christmas tree?"

"What."

"If you keep on acting so shy and cute like this, then you should prepare yourself to live with the consequences of an overly romantic and love sick Toshiki Kasumi. And trust me, you don't want to live with that kind of me. I am definitely going to pester you and annoy you by being all cute, playful, affectionate, flirty, teasing and passionate."

"...!"

She tries her best to not blush and runs to the mall as a method of escape, as he parks the car. He chuckles and follows her.

The mall was decorated beautifully as it was Christmas season. Every inch and corner was worth stopping and gazing for. Whether it was apparel shops, bakery or even festive décor shops, everything was adorned with lights, elucidating a cozy atmosphere, serving as a source of warmth for the winter. As MC looks around, a shop catches her eye, selling Christmas trees and other festive items.

"Hm, this one is cute… it's not that big, and will look good on the table beside the TV. What do you say?"

He stops to take a look at the Christmas tree she is pointing out. He checks its height and tries to envision it in his living room.

"That truly looks like the perfect Christmas tree. Yes, I think we should go ahead and get this."

"Okay, I will purchase it right away." She smiles, and goes in the direction of the cash counter, but stops midway. Her eyes land on something and she runs to examine it. He notices her running now towards something, and follows her.

"Did something catch your eye? I can make a guess that it's probably a decoration item or something related to the festive mood. Did I get that right?"

She smiles hearing his hunch and nods vigorously.

"Correct! There is Christmas themed cutlery?! I am sold."

"I Knew it. There is nothing that can attract your attention more than something cute and Christmas themed. So are we going to add this cutlery set to the cart too? You seem to be obsessed with this."

"I- I will do some deliberations, wait."

His shoulders tremble seeing how she was just waddling here and there, almost sparkling from joy.

"So now you want to do some deliberations? You are just obsessed with everything here."

"Yes! Okay, I am taking this mug, that cutlery set, and this set of plates too..."

"I have a feeling you are just going to end up buying everything here at this point. I'm really curious about how much of your shopping is left. I mean, you have already bought the Christmas tree, Christmas themed decorations and now this as well. This is too much. You are even making plans about the decoration of the dinner table aren't you?"

"To be honest, I am a bit too much into the festive mood this year. Don't mind me." She rubs the back of her head in embarrassment and looks at him. His gaze softens seeing her and he answers.

“I don't mind you. In fact I think this is the cutest thing ever. As long as you are having fun, it's all good. By the way, you are not the only one feeling excited about Christmas this year. You are infecting me as well, heh.”

"Thank you." She feels relieved yet happy to be spending her time with him like that, and gives their intertwined hands a squeeze.

“Let's go home. I fear I might get into a Christmas coma now if I see any other decorations.

He laughs hearing her and answers, as he takes the bags from her hands.

"You mean a Christmas fever right? It seems like your Christmas fever is reaching its limit and it's about to make you ill."

"Hmph. Do you think I am that crazy? You know what... Maybe I should just wrap you up in a gift wrapper and parcel it to Dr. Sen. He will be over the moon for that."

He couldn’t help but chuckle and decides to give a taste of her own medicine a bit. He looks at her with a devilish smile on his face.

"Then I also have another idea. Maybe I should tie you up with a ribbon and place you under the Christmas tree as a gift to myself this year. Let's see which one of us is crazier."

"?!"

She was about to say something when his phone rings, and looking at the caller ID, his expression turns serious. He notices her expression but before she can say anything he holds a finger to his lips telling her to be quiet and he picks up the call.

"Yes, this is me. What’s the emergency?"

As he listens to the caller's voice from the other end, a serious expression settles on his face. She looks at him as she thinks they might be called in due to an emergency, so she switches to her professional self as well.

But soon after, he sighs as he frowns a bit, talking, making her worried. His face seems troubled as he talks on the phone still. She can clearly tell from his expression that whatever the doctor on the other end is saying, it's making Kasumi worry. His eyebrows are knitted together.

"What is it..?" She holds his hand to calm him down.

"...I have to go London now."

She just blinks at him with a blank expression, as she wasn't able to process the news. Why so suddenly?

"What... what do you mean you have to go London now?"

He looks at her and nods with a somber expression on his face. She can see his lips drawn into a tight line, and his gaze away from her.

"I got a call from the hospital asking me to come to London. A high risk patient came in and they need me there urgently. I have to catch a flight right now, and can’t be back until tomorrow."

"..."

Realizing the gravity of the situation, she nods in understanding.

"Don't worry. You will save the patient. I am sure."

*He can see the concern in her eyes and notices that she is also starting to worry for the patient. Seeing her change in expression when she was bubbling with joy just moments ago, makes him sad.

"Thank you. I will see what I can do. But I'm sorry to have just rushed you like this. I thought we would have more time today but it's a sudden emergency situation and I can't afford to let the patient down. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. I understand…”

She thinks about asking to join and assist him in the surgery, but since it was on a short call, and she also had a surgery to perform the next day, she stops herself and smiles.

"Have a safe journey."

He looks at her and notices how she is holding herself back for his and the patients’ sake as well and smiles*

"I really appreciate how thoughtful and caring you are being right now. Please take care of yourself until I come back home. That is my order, understand? You can't miss your surgery just because of some emergency case of mine.”

"Don't worry. I will save the patient too. Leave it to me, and go."

"I trust you. Go ahead and make sure the patient is saved. Don't worry about me. You take care of yourself and the patient, okay?"

"Yup."

He can tell she is slightly upset with him going suddenly and it is making him feel bad. So he wraps his arms around her and whispers softly.

"I will be back as early as possible, don't worry. I will also call you as soon as I reach home so that you know I am back and safe. In the meanwhile, please take care of yourself. You are the only one I have my hopes set on for your patient's care. You will be the only one to see this through now."

Her hold on him tightens a bit, as she hugs him back, and then lets him go. She couldn’t let him get bothered with her emotions when there were serious matters to take care of at present.

"Mm. Let's go home. You have to pack up too."

They return home, and after some time, she sees him off to the airport. When she comes to his apartment, she sees the Christmas decor lying on the table, and sighs. The reason why she was so pumped for Christmas was because she was getting to spend it together with someone for the first time after so many years. But oh well, their job was important. She shakes her head to dispel away the negative thoughts, but can feel her heart ache as she starts to miss him already. The silence around her seems so cold, that she wants to call him just to hear his voice. But she doesn't as she knows how crucial his surgery would be, and he needed to be focused as well. So she forces herself to focus on decorating the tree perfectly.

The moment the lights illuminate the room, she can feel the magical and mystical atmosphere of Christmas surrounding her. She looks up, closes her eyes and prays for him to have a smooth and safe journey to London and hoping that his surgery would go well. Soon, she goes to sleep.

[Next morning]

She starts to wake up from her deep sleep. As she opens her eyes and looks around, the first thing she realizes is the glow of the Christmas lights. All the decorations from yesterday were still there on the tree. She feels happy and relieved to see the decorations in the morning. Her eyes flit towards the clock, making her think if he already had reached or not. So, she keeps her phone there, waiting for his call and goes to get ready for work in the meanwhile. Soon after, she reaches the hospital, and tries to make her busy with work.

As the time keeps flying by, a visible frown starts to appear on her face, seeing there was not a single call or text from him. Every type of thought riles up her mind. What if something terrible had happened? She keeps trying to suppress these thoughts and tries to be positive about everything.

As she knew how closed off he gets when he loses a patient, she can feel her worry increasing now. She keeps trying to suppress these thoughts and tries to be positive about everything. She couldn’t work properly the whole day, let alone noticing the banters of the peanut gallery trying to cheer her up.

[That evening]

As she completes her tasks for the day, she signs off work. She feels the anxiousness rising in her, as she realizes that the day has passed again without a call from him, so she decides to call him. She feels a little hesitant at first, but calls him anyway. Soon, it gets picked up. She can feel the tension lifting off her chest, as she sighs out of relief, hearing a familiar voice from the other end.

"Toshiki…"

The other end of the line was silent for a moment, followed by a soft chuckle.

"I guess I am just as anxious as you were."

"...why are you sounding like this? What happened?"

She knew he was hiding something, so she waits for him to answer. From the way she seemed to have held her breath she seemed worried. He smiles softly, thinking how worried he made her, and answers honestly.

"Nothing much. I guess the surgery is just taking much more time than I expected, due to some unforeseen complications that appeared.”

"You got me scared... Don't worry, everything will be okay. Are you alright?"

He feels relieved when she believes him and is able to calm herself down. He smiles and whispers softly.

"I am just a bit tired and exhausted. I am trying my best to make sure the surgery turns out okay. But I have to admit, I was getting a little worried too. The surgery is taking a lot more time than I thought it would. Hopefully you are right and everything will be alright. And don't worry. I'm not going to let down the patient or myself. I will do what I can to make the surgery go well. You take care as well okay? I will definitely call you as soon as the surgery is over."

"Sure..."

She stops herself from probing him more and ends the call. He also ends the call and sits for a bit, trying to collect his thoughts. He feels happy that he managed to pacify her concern without having to flat out lie to her. But he also knows that he probably just smudged the truth to someone who is very smart and aware of things. He knows he can't fool her for long. But he also thinks this was necessary for her to not worry too much, so that she focuses on her work properly. He takes a deep breath before he goes back to his work.

As he faces the sterile hospital surroundings, a palpable sense of loneliness settles in. The faint jingles of distant carols only amplify the stark contrast between the festive spirit outside and the clinical reality within. Each patient becomes a reminder of the distance from loved ones, as the weight of duty on Christmas Eve hangs on his shoulders. The soft glow of a desk lamp casts long shadows, emphasizing the solitude that accompanies him. He can feel the emptiness inside. The loneliness is not just limited to the empty hallways and rooms of this hospital but has seeped into him as well. He feels a profound sense of emptiness and longing for some company on this festive Christmas Eve. The loneliness was killing his heart.

Meanwhile, MC reaches home as her mind was occupied with only Toshiki. Seeing an empty apartment on a festive season doesn't fail to make her remember how she is used to always stay cooped up in her room with either work or spending time with herself. She grapples with the bittersweet struggle of preparing a festive meal for two, the missing half haunting every joyful decoration. An unopened gift waits beneath the tree, a symbol of shared moments postponed. Her phone buzzes with holiday wishes from family and friends, yet each cheerful message accentuates the void of the absence of him. Amid the laughter and festivities, an unspoken ache lingers, a connection strained by the miles that separate them on this Christmas night.

She gets lost in her thoughts as she sees the festive nightscape. The Christmas lights were the only things that welcomed her home that night. Everything looks perfect, almost too perfect, yet empty as it couldn’t replace the warm and cheerful presence that she is missing beside her, with him being far away in London. As she looks down from the window of his apartment, she feels a sense of longing for her beloved that holy night.

[3 hours later, same night]

Back in London, almost several hours pass as the surgery gets over. It's successful, as he comes out of the operation theatre, and it's already midnight. He couldn't help but be reminded of how he used to work himself to death during the festive seasons so as to not feel lonely. He couldn't help but reminded of his nagging friend Mitsuharu, who made sure he enjoys every day and is not left out.

In the quiet moments, his mind involuntarily drifts back to a time when Christmas was a tapestry of warmth and joy. He recalls the comforting scent of freshly baked cookies, the twinkling lights adorning the family tree, and the contagious laughter echoing through the cozy living room. Each memory becomes a sepia-toned vignette, a stark contrast to the antiseptic hum of the hospital. In those brief reveries, nostalgia dances with the harsh reality of the present, creating a poignant symphony of longing for the holiday magic of yesteryears.

The memory of his mother planting different flowers for him in winter and the snowdrops blooming around their home brings a smile to his lips. He remembers the memories of snow falling and he and his mother enjoying the snow together. He realizes how these good memories of his childhood were something which is missing on Christmas, and how his adulthood was, missing those memories. As he walks out of the hospital, he feels the warmth and the magic of Christmas in his life missing.

[Next morning]

Toshiki's eyes flutter open feeling the sunlight hitting his visage. He feels a little relieved when he realizes the surgery is over and he did not have to lose a patient. He was worried about that. But he realizes how he is missing every small moment in the morning after a Christmas night with her. The empty spot next to him in bed, the small moments of having a Christmas morning coffee with her, the feeling of her hand in his hand as he would wish her a Merry Christmas, the small gestures of love in the morning... All these small things were missing.

"MC…”

His fingertips graze over the spot next to him in bed. As he was deep in his thoughts, he suddenly remembers a conversation he had with his friend Mitsuharu about Christmas. They were talking about the meaning of Christmas and as always, Mitsuharu was not able to understand or appreciate much of what he was saying. He always felt that Mitsuharu could never truly understand the real essence of Christmas.

Soon, he gets ready to board the plane. Kasumi’s thoughts were all about Christmas and about the missing pieces of it inside him. He begins questioning the meaning of Christmas in his mind. He was deeply troubled by the thoughts of so many people suffering, so many missing out on the joy and happiness of Christmas. A time meant for happiness and togetherness is becoming a time of despair and loneliness for so many. How could he possibly feel happy in a world where such a condition was the reality?

[13 hours later, that evening]

As the plane lands in Tokyo, he can now feel the darkness of reality seeping in him as he proceeds towards the airport exit. He is worried that this darkness may affect his meeting with her. But, he keeps his emotions hidden behind a mask of his calm and composed self.

*He reaches his apartment soon, as his hand is now over the door handle. Maybe a hug from his beloved would calm him down? Toshiki muses, as he unlocks the door. The sight of the beautifully illuminated Christmas tree and the living room makes him pause, as he feels a little surprised by the scene. For a second, he feels happy to see how well she has kept the house decorated, only to realize that the person that he wanted to be welcomed by the most was missing.

"MC?"

Maybe she is outside? His thoughts seem to linger on her absence from the scene, as he walks about the living room, looking around at how beautifully everything has been set up. He even checks the kitchen in case she is there, but it was in vain. The feeling of her missing seems to be pervading the whole scene. The Christmas decoration seems to not be able to bring the warmth it used to bring when she was there. The beautiful scene lacks her presence. She should've at least let him know that she would go out, he wonders.

He takes his phone to look for text messages from her, and is surprised to find none. Maybe she went somewhere to do something? Maybe she got called in by the hospital? Or maybe she wanted to surprise him by showing him the decorations? This was becoming more and more disturbing and troubling for him, as the time ticked by.

As he was lost in his thoughts and worries and was about to call Takado to ask about her, a text message arrives for him, making a small ding sound. He looks at it quickly, thinking it could be from her, but to his disappointment, it was from Matsunaga - a patient has requested to meet him at the nearby amusement park, and he has to go as the patient is very important.

Kasumi was surprised at the news of such a patient request. How was he supposed to go and see some patient when she was missing? But maybe, she went to Asuka's or Missy's and forgot to tell him? He settles on this thought, and sends her a quick text, as he steps outside his apartment.

[That night, amusement park]

He reaches the amusement park and is amazed to see the colorful illuminations everywhere. There is so much to see and so many places to explore. It is like the park has turned into a fairy land. He is surprised by how much the park has been transformed. But instead of being lost in the beauty of it, he starts to wonder why the patient has asked him to come here. Maybe the patient wanted him to see this? But whatever the reason is that the patient has called him here, was unable to distract him from thinking about her.

He sees people with their families, friends and loved ones everywhere. Everyone was enjoying the festivity. This sight brings a sense of loneliness inside him. Everyone was enjoying the day with their loved ones around them. And here he was, all alone. No family with him, no close friend by his side, no MC by his side. His isolation seems to be making the festival a bit difficult for him to bear. He was trying to stop his negative thoughts looking at the illuminations, but the feeling of loneliness was only making it more difficult.

"Isn't that pretty?"

He snaps out of his thoughts, as hears a familiar voice, and feels a familiar presence near him. Was he hallucinating? Probably... cause he heard her voice. He slowly turns to find the owner of the voice. His heart skips a beat finding that it was indeed his beloved, his MC, looking so beautiful with her gaze on him, that she could be the most beautiful ornament in that entire festivity. She was all covered up in a fluffy jacket and was wearing a scarf around her neck, as she smiles at him.

"Welcome back, Toshiki."

For once, the dark emperor had no words. His face lights up to her beautiful greeting. He is unable to reply back, as they both look at each other with a feeling of happiness. The moment was like a spell of kindness that they both are casting over each other, making them both drown in a strange euphoria where there were no words to describe the feeling. Nothing felt like moving, But it just felt perfect. He felt an almost unbelievable sense of love and closeness between them.

"MC, you-"

"Ah, that's right. It's late, but belated merry Christmas."

Kasumi smiles as she gives him a small box. He takes the box in his hands, observing it a bit. He feels a little hesitant to open it but after a few seconds, he decides to open it. Soon, he sees something shining brightly with its beautiful brilliance... a promise ring. He is amazed at how well crafted it looked. He looks up at her, with a feeling of gratitude and appreciation in his eyes. She laughs awkwardly seeing him, as she caresses her hair.

"Well, I know that this might seem cringe, as we are not allowed to wear rings at work, but- I just wanted to give you something which reminds you that you always have me by your side."

"..."

"Um... are you angry, as I orchestrated all this, and didn't inform you? You haven't said a word to me."

He only smiles hearing that, shakes his head and holds her hands more tightly. Instead of answering, he wraps his arms around her, capturing her attention with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Gently, he places a warm kiss on the tip of her nose, the laughter in his voice painting the moment with affection.

"Your nose is red and rosy like a reindeer's..."

"Mm?"

She blinks in surprise as she feels a soft sensation on her nose, not knowing exactly what happened. At her startled expression, he couldn't resist any longer. He pulls her close to him and kisses her nose, her cheeks, and her eyes. Her reaction to his moves is making him go all out. Soon, he pulls away, looking at her, and hugs her.

His thoughts begin to wander with a sort of peace. He realizes that it's not selfish to want things for him. He was a human, after all. But who made him human, was her. Instead of overthinking about the people who meet with tragic incidents and don't get to spend their holidays with loved ones, it's far better to focus on working so that they get better soon. And at the same time, it's okay to desire for happiness, for a loved one. It doesn't make him selfish. He begins to realize the importance of enjoying the happy moments of life. It was only when he had met her that he realized that there was no harm in wanting things for him. A love like hers, like a pure ray of sunlight, has a way to make his thoughts brighter and better. Meeting her made him realize that there’s nothing wrong to be wanting things for himself. It showed him that true love wouldn’t make him selfish; and that it would be okay to ask selfish for your beloved. It was okay to desire for happiness with her.

Maybe this was the intention of his friend Mitsuharu too. He didn't want Toshiki to spend Christmas all alone by himself, so he pretended to not like Christmas parties and all, and instead hung out with him by dragging him to his home.

As his thoughts continue to wander through this idea, he realizes that all this time he was overthinking and overanalyzing things. Instead of enjoying his life and letting happiness happen to him, he was worried about thinking too much on things that didn't matter. Now he is realizing that he doesn't have to be so self-critical. Instead of being so cautious and strict towards him, he can let his guard down and let happiness happen; he too can be a little selfish and desire to have a little happiness for himself. Maybe that's the way to enjoy life more and fully.

She looks at him as she finds him delved in thoughts.

"Toshiki? You okay?"

"Yes, I am fine. Don't worry about me. I was just going through some thoughts but now I realized how pointless these thoughts are. It is pointless to overthink about things and always think that things will be bad. Instead, one can sit back and enjoy things sometimes. That is a far better thing to do."

"Is that so? That's good..."

He can feel her uneasiness about him. She is still feeling concerned for him. So, he thinks of something to make her feel better. He has had his realization, he has had his moment of introspection, now is time to bring her back from her uneasiness.

"But, before I let myself chill out and relax, there is something I wanna do."

"Mm?"

He smiles shyly and brings her close. He brings his forehead to her forehead and speaks quietly to her.

"You know, I haven't thanked you for the promise ring that you gave me. But I wanted to thank you. I don't have words to describe its beautiful craftsmanship, but I can tell you that this ring holds a special meaning to me. So, thank you very much. I will be keeping this with me always, and I will always have you by my side."

"Oh... I am happy if you liked it. No need to thank me."

 She smiles and extends her hand to him.

"Let's go home and make up for the Christmas time we missed yesterday."

He smiles and takes her hand, intertwining his fingers in hers. To him, she is the warmth of his heart. All the worries and stress melt away to make way for a sense of peace and love that has taken over him. He feels like he has found the ultimate happiness in his life, as he walks with her hand in hand. The rings shine on their fingers; the beauty around them is just an added bonus, for he does not need anything to look beautiful with her beside him. Her presence alone makes everything beautiful and magical for him.

--------------

[hero-israel]

https://www.tumblr.com/her-moth/726167324355444736/from-saids-invention-memory-and-place-2000?source=share

I’ve become interested in the figure of Edward Said, a Palestinian-American academic and activist who more or less coined the terms/studies/activism/etc of Orientalism and Post-Colonialism, both terms I find deeply important and which I apply to my leftist Zionism, something I’m sure he and his followers would strongly oppose. On that topic, I’m looking into some of his anti-Zionist (though I’m sure it’s more nuanced than that) work, both to broaden my perspective and because I’m much more willing to listen to a Palestinian who lived in historical Palestine before and after Israel’s establishment as opposed to a modern Westerner. I’ll admit, he has plenty of valid critiques of Zionism and movements he associates with it, though there are of course elements I disagree with. One point he made that really bothered me however (shown in the above linked screenshot) is, while comparing European Jewish Zionists to the Crusaders (partially valid but for the most part 😬) and the medieval European imagined environment of the land Jesus lived and died in as “denatured Palestine”; “after hundreds of years of living in Europe Zionist Jews could still feel that Palestine had stood in time and was theirs, again despite millennia of history and the presence of actual inhabitants.”

I agree the terra nullius mindset many Zionists and Zionist allies had (and sometimes still have, about history or the present to justify settlements, war, and discriminational policies) was awful and a horrific and regrettable way to begin Israel, but I really hate how Said just wastes no breath lumping Jews in with powerful European Christians and maybe subtly implying an acceptance that Jews are from there but ultimately just leaving it as “Tough tiddy, you’ve been gone too long, you should’ve stayed in your diaspora forever” with so little consideration that the Jews did not fit in Europe, nor could they survive there, and they needed some place their heritage was. Obviously this is just a manifestation, perhaps inspiration, for the notion that Jews don’t deserve return from diaspora, no matter the cost, but Palestinians do, and this not only a double standard but the first one is apparently the direct cause and justification for the second. Idk, I just wish Said would be a little more considerate or something.

That's the frustrating thing about Said. The man could write, and he would often home in on a decent, poignant comment - and then he would derail it with some ridiculous rabble-rousing bullshit about how Jews were the agents of European imperialism, or how Israel is constantly hoaxing archeology. He tried to pass himself off as a victimized Palestinian refugee, when he was born a privileged American citizen and spent his formative years in Cairo.

The Tumblr post you provided shows Said's frustration that people get so caught up in symbolic mythical Jerusalem that they forget or don't care it's an actual place where people live real lives. And that's a totally fair point! Co-signed! And then he ruins it by whitewashing Jewish history. His perspective that "before the Jews came, there were ACTUAL inhabitants there" is nothing less than a purported anti-colonialist / anti-imperialist giving an implicit endorsement of the Ottoman Empire. Which is less surprising when you remember he also gave EXPLICIT endorsement of the Ottoman Empire.

He was honest enough to admit that his preferred outcome for Palestine would put Jews in danger. I co-sign that too.

[mulling-over-milgram]

Haruka’s victim / butterflies / my interpretation of haruka’s murder

Inspired by bluuepink07’s amazing yuno post!

https://www.tumblr.com/blueepink07/731734712212668416/i-just-noticed-that-this-part-from-yunos-door?source=share

so before I get into the butterflies I want to establish how I interpret haruka and his victims relationship.

Its almost certain that haruka’s victim was his friend rather then a family member even though prisoners can lie I don’t see a reason to doubt haruka here so I’m concluding that she’s his friend.

I also believe haruka went to see fire works with her and that this mv shows them watching them

haruka talks alot about his weaknesses about not living up to expectations we see this consistently

But haruka implies he wasn’t always seen like this

So at some point something changed haruka got diagnosed? was devolving as fast? Or something else which is probably when the family get the dog. Idk if this is common in real life but it is some what a troop in fiction of getting pets for children how are struggling I think his mother bought it in hopes of it helping him become a “normal child” and we know how it goes from there…

Later he meets his victim and I think she saw how lonely he was and wanted to befriend him or something like that and at first haruka loves the attention

but what I think happened is his mother starts giving her attention.

We already know haruka’s mother wanted a girl and haruka’s friend was probably what she had wanted in a child

He finds it unfair and doesn’t want to lose the love of his mother to his friend and he already knows that killing the dog gave him attention and he probably saw this as some kind of betrayal

so kills her okay know I’v covered the generally accepted stuff now we’re on the same page time to get into this symbolism nonsense!

I think that the dead haruka and the butterfly are both representative of his victim.

I think haruka kills his younger self out of guilt that her life had more value so he should have been the one to die but also he see’s his victim as his replacement , his victim as himself as a child , the version of him when his mother still loved him as the version of himself that could be loved. She is a loveable version of him.

something bluuepink07 pointed out her post was this symbolism around butterflies

This and that butterflies can symbolise wishes this the main reason I think haruka’s friend reached out to him because he was lonely

she grained his wish of not being lonely of being loved as a “weakling” by being his friend but also he thought killing her would grant his wish of being loved by his mother and because he killed her he went to milgram a place where he gets attention she with her death further granted his wish. Butterflies can change , butterflies are beautiful , they can be loved and appreciated but haruka?

[rriavian]

According to your universe, which feeling Corinthian feels most towards Dream? Is it Desire or devotion or anything else?

And which feeling Dream feels most towards Corinthian? Is it affection? Or Desire? Or possessiveness or something else?

It is not necessary to mention one answer only. You may write a paragraph on what range of feelings they have for each other

Jessamy, my dearest—you have been incredibly patient thank you so much for this question! I’ve been thinking about this for weeks (it’s been sat in my drafts since before I went on holiday) but spent a while trying to get the wording right. I hope you enjoy my answer <3

I do think it’s love! Just perhaps not a human love.

The Baiting the Trap ‘verse works on the premise that after hundreds of years of sexual tension the Corinthian finally gets the chance to act on it as well as his anger at his creator. He was pretty certain Dream was going to destroy him afterwards so decided to just go for it. He’d been cool and collected for far too long and the lid was not going back on that box now it’s open. Dream is no less interested (he did initiate after all) but though far more unhinged when it comes to love/jealousy his sexual desire is a bit more chill. Idk, maybe it’s because I’m ace but I see him as being like ‘eh, depends on the sex so you better make it good’ when it comes to taking someone to bed.

It’s the devotion in observable/tangible actions that I think reels him in, that I think is the real lure, the single minded focus of another all for him is something Dream doesn’t bother trying to resist. He'll never see it as a weakness either. I think it stems partly from a unmet need to feel entirely accepted, entirely wanted, when so often there are parts of him that others find too extreme.

Too sharp.

So Baiting the Trap is still only just entering the second ‘arc’ which means there’s a lot more to some but…

The antagonism, the extremes, the spectrum of morality and the acceptance/competition of each other’s sharpness…it’s always going to be a large part of their relationship. Though I would add that I think the Corinthian’s greedy possession is a grounding force, which I’ve mostly implied up to this point but there will be some more explicit confirmations coming up in the series. Dream likes how fiercely he’s claimed, how intent his nightmare is on knowing him. Yeah it's the Corinthian figuring out weaknesses too but…it’s looking beneath. Trying to see him as he is.

It’s wanting to.

And it’s wanting to put his fingerprints all over him.

Dream made the Corinthian (which gives us all the wonderful facets of a creator/creation dynamic) but…to him there is something unique about being chosen. About laying the bait and having the Corinthian decide to take it every time. Even if Dream knows that he will, knows that he can offer himself, he isn’t forcing it. As much as that prods at the Corinthian’s desire for agency, stings his pride, it also gives to it. In a way BTT Dream is soothing the original wound of the Corinthian’s betrayal for them both. He rebelled by turning away, by leaving, but this is him deciding to act that frustration out while also no longer denying how much he wants Dream.

So just by being so obsessed with defeating him in such a deeply personal—up close and incredibly intimate—way, the Corinthian is effectively giving Dream all the attention he could ever want.

Promising a constant supply of the devotion I think Dream requires to feel satisfied by a lover.

Though it’s by no means one sided. The Corinthian gets a taste of looking at the bigger picture, at Dream’s responsibility for the larger scale, and that’s compelling to him in this context because understanding it allows him to enjoy what it means for his creator to turn away for even a little while. Disgruntlement over Dream’s commitment to his responsibilities has always been (and always will be) a source of tension in their relationship. But this is also a manifestation of the Corinthian’s canon need to prove he was made right—that I also tend to interpret as his wish to prove he is the most worthy believer, the only one to do it correctly—so now he dares blasphemy so he can worship without distance.

While Dream is enjoying the novelty of being the singular object of another's focus, the Corinthian gets to enjoy moments of having what is essentially a universe stare him down without blinking. And that fulfills his own need for attention, his own desire to feel wanted. It’s like sauntering right up to a god busy answering prayers and grabbing them by the hand.

It’s saying ‘reply later I want you now’.

Of course possessiveness and obsession often appear alongside an additional dynamic of ownership that borders on objectification. But with these two I’ve always seen it differently.

Above I mentioned Dream finding the Corinthian’s possessive nature to be a grounding force, and this is really just a continuation of that point because the Corinthian feels the same way about Dream. I don’t think dehumanisation/objectification really works the way we’re used to conceptualising it with characters that have never been human in the first place. We can’t take humanity away from them but what we can take is personhood. Which I think is something both Dream and the Corinthian value incredibly highly. To be honest, I think that in many ways they both use what we might see as objectification to affirm identity in/to each other, to affirm personhood.

It’s a return of self, not a denial of it, humanity the real box when the Corinthian and Dream have always been Other.

It might sound odd but I see a lot of their relationship through this lens. The Corinthian is a ‘thing’ in the same way as Dream is, an object of the same kind, with a function and a role, but that doesn’t deny a sense of self. They don’t need to be in conflict.

So I suppose in BTT that’s really what it’s about. How their relationship supports a reaffirmation of both of their identities. The Corinthian is Dream’s creation, his nightmare, his masterpiece, but that doesn’t mean he’s just a thing to him. To me the creator/creation dynamic adds identity, adds agency, contributes to the fullness of character rather than taking away from it. Neither of them have to scale themselves down. They don't have to make themselves smaller. So that's another part of what these characters can find in each other, part of the balance I like to write, part of how they ground themselves while also enjoying testing their own extremes.

It’s love and possessiveness and you help me keep my balance. It’s I can be me to the fullest, it’s no part of me is ugly to you. It’s nothing will make me look away. It’s I will fight with you forever and you will let me, you won’t burn out, you can take all that I am.

You want all of what I am and that is love.

[raytm]

this is just me reposting my OC details with some edits so that i can then link it in my docs lmao.

do you know how hard it is to fabricate an OC without feeling like you're attaching them too acutely to the main story / giving them main character syndrome. anyway, here's ki's basic lore. it's very much altered from when i first designed him, so the art is very much based on his initial conceptualisation and was commissioned by me through a friend ( i dont have the artists twitter but i will do my utmost to source it for credit sake ) i'll also add a face claim i once had of him which does depict him more in his time on the xianzhou. < i did a bit of adjusting, thank u 2 saint >

It is said that when a foxian kit reaches for one of three objects a path will be granted to them and for him, it was the sword. with a proclivity for close quarters combat and expertise in swords play it was inevitable that when the advent of war came to the xianzhou and with that, the third abundance war, that he would rise to meet the military’s call to arms. by this time he was a prominent swordsman, with skills that hindered the abundance’s troops. however, when the rainbow arbiter struck down the armies and the perpetuated bloodshed came to its conclusion he was tallied amongst those fallen. he does not recall vividly the days of conflict, if anything they are amorphous hauntings of a life before and suffused with suffering. he died on the battlefield and alongside did his identity. Ki cannot say precisely who spared his life on that calamitous field of death and fire but he awoke, facilitated for healing, the consensus came to between the almost fatally wounded foxian and the benefactor was that in exchange for his life, he would pledge his to the benefactor. with his memories nothing but an incessant pang of  reminiscence for a blade he once wielded, he accepted the masked strangers offer and thus, their pact was sealed. the foxian works at a tavern, often utilized by the masked fools as a place of revelry. as the barkeep Ki is an affable, compassionate man who accommodates those who find themselves at the tavern, drawn into a mystical, if not perilous world of mirthful carousing. there is little left of the once ambitious, exuberant youth who had wielded his blade for the sake of his homeland. he has had contact consistently with his benefactor, a masked man, whose face was never revealed to him, both in the tavern and in the outside world, he knows himself to be an asset to that man and continues to operate under the understanding that he owes this person his life. any semblance of the life he once led comes back to him only in abstract dreams, a face, or a blade, or an inundation of surging crimson blood and agony. He believes, truthfully, that the life he follows now is more peaceful and holds no intention of his own to return to his homelands. for the sake of gathering intel, keeping tabs on the operations of specific, influential individuals and those who fall to inebriation to elevate their spirits, he was allocated to work in penacony, as a bartender in the entertainment district of the dreamscape. He’s made quite a name for himself as one who is both eloquent and talented at mixing a delicious cocktail or two. Ki, currently, maintains the facade of an employee while also furtively supplying information to his benefactor. Ki does have a mask, but has only been known to wear it to particularly intense revelries. ( https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/hzYAAOSwEZ1gWJ1t/s-l1600.jpg 

his original name is lì yǔ xián and im still navigating the timeline but considering the war on year 8072 of the Star Calendar and the current timeline is at ??? idk that ki has been with / affiliated with / part of the masked fool for atleast the greater part of a few decades > a century idk where we're falling rn but he's bit with them for a hot minute.

[smoothie03]

Do the "understand my ship in 5 mins" template with TeuTemp

I'm glad you asked since I've had that one in my drafts for years

Big/Little Spoon:

Idk both give me little spoon vibes if they're together. So they switch with being the big/little spoon.

Lends/Borrows Clothes:

As teens they are around the same height, so they'd be able to borrow or lend clothes equally. Once they're older (IF KT would be alive) Gabriel would tend to borrow clothes since he's shorter.

P.S. I made him shorter as an adult since he was in a dark and unfriendly place during the time he would have had a proper growth spurt.

(Also a correction: canon adult!Gilbert is 178cm, back when I wrote this chart the updates from Hetalia-Collezione didn't exist yet)

Pet Names:

There's no way Gilbert wouldn't call Gabriel a pet name. In fact he'd more likely call him a pet name instead of his actual name.

Suggestions made by my friend (a Prussia kinnie who I created my version of TeuTemp with; so yeah if I need info about Gilbert I just ask them):

-Goldie (bc of his golden-blonde hair and him being a golden child)

-Ghosty (after his death, Gabriel HATES that name and definitely hit him softly on the head for that one)

(If anyone has more suggestions for pet names, I wanna hear them!)

Introverted/Extroverted:

Actually I headcanon it like this:

Gabriel - extraverted introvert

Gilbert - introverted extrovert

Affection through words/actions:

Gabriel is 100% a man of words and songs (yet has difficulties to explain his feelings due to his upringing) and Gilbert isn't. Gilbert is a man of actions. He would brag about YOU surely missing HIM while actually he wants to say that HE misses YOU but god forbid if he said that this directly, ts ts... So yeah, Gilbert is more of an actions guy.

Confession:

Honestly, it depends on whether they already understand their feelings or not. I think it is complicated for them, since they are experiencing their first ever love in an environment that is horrible for gaining such experiences in a time where they would be judged heavily. Gilbert might say that he likes Gabriel at first but without knowing the full context of his "liking" while Gabriel would only tell him once he's sure he loves him but even if he properly confessed first (which is more likely) he'd be a bit more mysterious about it. Aka "Music transcends language and speaks to the heart. If you would like to, we can sing together."

You can't tell me that wasn't KT being hesitant about slowly telling him how he feels. The subtext with his face in that panel tells everything.

Bugs:

Yeah, I think the chart says enough.

Car:

Gabriel, my dude, doesn't even understand what a car is. And even if he knew, he wouldn't want to learn how to drive. He is a passenger princess.

But tbh I think Gilbert prefers being driven around too so if they need to go anywhere, Ludwig drives them. (Also, he might know how to drive but it's honestly a risk even as a "former" personification, since it's apparently common for albinos like him to have struggles with their sight.)

Cooking:

Gabriel grew up with quite a healthy diet, so he would maintain that and cook a lot BUT Gilbert has to introduce him to MORE spices. (I read sth about the Templars' diet but I am not sure how believable my source is)

PDA:

It is self explanatory that Gabriel wouldn't like public displays of affection since it is sth that unalived him once. If Gilbert would ever drag him to a pride parade in modern times, my poor child would still suffer from so much anxiety at the first time because he still feels watched and scared around others.

Protectiveness:

I would say both are very protective towards one another (in a stilll acceptable, healthy way. It isn't a possessive/controlling protectiveness but more like a protectiveness filled by worries due to their dangerous past but they're working on it)

But after Gabriel "d!ed" and if he ever met Gilbert again in modern times you cannot tell me that Gilbert wouldn't be the clingiest and most protective fuck ever and never wants to leave his side again in fear, someone takes his Gabriel away once again.

Meanwhile Gabriel will share a glare of death if he hears that someone tried to hurt/bully Gilbert. His OG reason for living was to protect pilgrims so I'm pretty sure he has a huge protection instinct for his loved ones.

Relationship experience:

They are each other's first love. They have none. But Gabriel is more socially skilled than Gilbert, so he isn't as inexperienced as Gilbert. (Also, he is Francis' cousin. I bet he taught him basic relationship 101.)

Cuddle Level:

They are both cuddly dorks <3 But Gilbert is clingier.

Awkwardness Level:

Both are fucking awkward when it comes to love but Gilbert is less awkward because he either doesn't UNDERSTAND what was going on in one situation or he simply ACTS like he isn't awkward at all (he is. He would even pray and cry around in shame when he touched Hungary before he knew she was a girl)

Meanwhile Gabriel is an overthinker and shows his awkwardness even more visibly than Gilbert. Also he is more aware of the atmosphere around him compared to Gilbert who is a stupid fuck sometimes. (Sorry, sometimes I still have to bully him)

Jealousy Level:

Okay, when I tried making up Gabriel's personality, I tought of flaws and I wanted to make jealousy his main flaw - ironically for him being considered a golden child that has everything but at the same time nothing- but somehow, in the making of the whole TeuTemp dynamic with my friend, Gilbert ended up being the more jealous one, especially in post-KT-"death" AUs.

Probably, because he is also the clingier one.

[realcatalina]

Why do you think the portrait of Catherine/Mary has a K (in the necklace) AND a C (on the bodice)? It's my last real sticking point in the identity debate, especially after you pointed out the pomegranate sepals. (According to the Mary theorists, the C stands for Castile, and the K for Karolus, to signify her betrothal to Charles V)

You pretty much summerized it. I don't think I can add that much.

Jewelry with initials refering to either person's name, their title or their spouse was very popular at the time.

In Catherine's case:

K for Katherine

C for Catalina(her name in Spanish, and potentially it being smaller than K, signalling she is looking forward to her life in England, is more accepting of English ways while her spanish roots are not forgotten, but are bit smaller now...)

or pottentially for Castile (her mother's realm)-not that likely.

In Mary's case:

K for Karolus(latin version of Charles)-for Mary's bethrohed

C for Castile (whom Charles was heir to)

Mary was for long while bethrohed(and married to proxy) to Catherine's nephew who was later Holy Roman Emperor(Charles V). He was heir of his mother Joanna I of Castile, and thus Mary as Charles's bethrohed was styled as Princess of Castile.

(Why not princess of Spain? King Ferdinand of Aragon was alive...thus charles was heir of just Castile at the moment, his mother was heir of Aragon...)

Thus initials would fit both women.

I have to additionally point out that according to Dr Kemperdick the C-initial is not C but E.

Those letters used to look alike and you could confuse them:

Dr Kemperdick seems like credible source for me, and probably have been involved in exhbition of Sittow's work he later wrote review about ...could have seen it in person and would have certainly have way more experience of reading out weirdly shaped letters in paintings than I do...so I believe might be an E-initial.

Potentially an alteration or minor damage crucial spot within that letter could make it seem as one or other letter. So I am not really sure which one is it.

But even if it was E-initial it fits both women.

E-for Elizabeth. -For their mothers. Isabella and Elizabeth are same name in just different language.

And since Katherine wrote her name with K and not C, it's possible she'd also use her mother's initial with E, instead of I.

For example Elizabeth I wore B-necklace. We have only few historical examples of people wearing their parents initial, it certainly wasn't very common. So i think it unlikely

Update: i was told this is photoshopped, so no example of Elizabeth wearing B necklace:

(I am already checking credibility photos way more than other people. Give me a break.)

Also E for England or E for España (Spain-thanks Isadomna) would be a very logical choice and it's possible that it was used because it could refer to both.

Hence initials fit both women, but actually they are also used as basis for third theory of who it is-Isabella of Castile.

(idealized and portrayed as much younger than Sittow could have met her)

With K and C both standing for Castile(in some languages it is written with K) . And idk why one would not use same letter in both cases! But E for España could be...

But tbh the theory is kind of ridiculous. Painted younger, ...ok? But wrong features and fashion of diffrent country when Sittow met her and could have drawn her from life?-Ridiculous!

Tbh if you wish to go for theory initials fit other women in Catherine's family-go for Joanna!

K-for Karolus(Charles) her eldest son

C-for Castile

or E for España

+she is married to Netherlands, thus why couldn't she wear Netherlandish outfit?

(Features would be wrong again, but you know initials would work out.)

Thus my conclusion is that you cannot solve the mystery based upon initials. One has to rely on symbolism of other details within the painting and dating of the outfit. And if anybody believes it is same thing Catherine's nieces are wearing in 1510s-they need to have their eyes checked...it's similiar, but certainly not same, diverging quite a bit..(thus more than few years difference.)

I think several of my past posts would be interesting for you if you're intrested in Catherine of Aragon vs Mary Rose debate:

Real looks of Catherine of Aragon-Part 1

Real looks of Catherine of Aragon-Part 2: Why Mr Matthews should have never been believed

(Mr Mathews is guy who came up with Mary Rose nonsense.)

Scallops as symbol

or in debate of which paintings are c.1514 paintings of Mary Rose Tudor as Princess of Castile:

Is this woman Isabella I of Castile or Mary Rose Tudor, Queen of France?-part 1

Isabella I vs Mary Rose Tudor:part 2- Could it actually be Juana?

and relating to this:

Sisters in law 1: Mary Rose Tudor, Queen of France-depictions and hair colour:Part 1

Sisters in law 1: Mary Rose Tudor, Queen of France-depictions:Part 2

This is not Catherine Willougby!

(yes, that is a name of post.)

additional posts regarding debate of Mary Rose vs Queen Isabella:

Her family Part 2-Isabella I of Castile-paintings, iluminations, stonework

Her family Part 3-Juana I’s depictions

...Write to me if you have any aditional questions.

[bcofl0ve]

i don't have an opinion about priscilla because i'm austin tt and i'm not part of elvis tt (and i don't even want to) i find out about things because she appears on my tl so i read a lot of acc in favor of her (like you people) and acc against her like lisa's fans and i understand their side too, reading some things i wonder is she this narcissist they talk about or is she this saint you guys talk about? idk actually, i'm pretty i don't know about her but she is sus for me because this her x riley stuff was it even necessary? what was her purpose in doing this anyways?

well to start- i don’t think cilla deserves grace because she’s a saint. i think she deserves grace because she’s a human. she’s infallible and has made mistakes like we all have- i won’t deny that. it’s when the most cited mistakes have significant oversights that it upsets me. ie:

* yes she’s maintained a relationship with michael lockwood after lisa’s death. but why wouldn’t she when the alternative is being cut off from harper and finley? i detest the man, but those girls deserved their only living bio parent with them at their mom’s funeral. and lisa loved her babies so much that i think she would’ve understood.

* yes her and lisa had a complicated relationship. but the only reason we even know that is because of insiders that spoke to tabloids. lisa and priscilla never spoke poorly of each other publicly and any falling out of theirs is their family business, not any fandom’s to weaponize.

* if she is truly so awful, how/why did jerry schilling remain close with both her and lisa? he officiated nav’s wedding last year, was at an early birthday party for cilla last week and nav’s now ex wife elisa said jerry and his wife had her over before she left him and moved back to switzerland. jerry is a grown man and if he didn’t want to associate with cilla and her family he wouldn’t. yet he does- and lisa didn’t seem to mind that.

* yes she hasn’t “moved on”. but i think people need to open their minds to a deeper understanding of grief. multiple people in both of their lives thought they’d eventually get back together. that door was never fully shut- until elvis suddenly died. not to mention that if she truly moved on in the way people wish she would have there would be no graceland/epe as we know it now. vernon put her in his will when he died for a reason. and re: the more recent tours- she wouldn’t do them if people didn’t buy tickets. a lot of elvis fans do like her and she makes herself accessible to us when she doesn’t have to. which is very gracious- not to mention i think being surrounded by fans of elvis and lisa has helped her tremendously these past couple months.

re: the riley thing- cilla said in court she wasn’t made aware of the estate document change. legally, she needed to have been and she was within her rights to have the document investigated since she wasn’t.

did she *have* to? no. but it wasn’t the act of evil some people make it out to be. and throughout everything priscilla never wanted riley eradicated as a trustee even if the document was forged. it was explicitly stated that in that case, she still wanted her to be co-trustee. (but/and riley is the only one as of yesterday, and re: cilla’s lawyers statements she has accepted that just fine.)

and like i said earlier- the only non tabloid or non anonymous ‘family source’ statement we have on the record from riley’s camp is her lawyer yesterday saying she is “very content”. and all things considered her camp has no reason to lie or sugarcoat things to cover priscilla. if riley wanted it to be on the record that she thinks priscilla is a selfish money hungry manipulator then the statement from her lawyer would’ve been much MUCH different.

i’m not here to bludgeon anyone into being her number one fan. i just think throwing around words like narcissist, leech, evil, devil etc is going too far. and i wish people would give her the grace they do other people in his life.

sorry for the essay- but i hope my pov on all of this makes sense! (even if we disagree *hugs*)

[luvhughes43]

https://www.tumblr.com/luvhughes43/760546538997055488/what-do-we-think-nico-and-blake-fight-about?source=share

OOOO this is juicy!

I think they fight about little things most of the time and if not they've learned to stop and take a breather before things get too intense and they start saying things they'll regret!

They probably bicker about temperature a lot because i think nico runs hot and prefers colder temperatures because he likes to cool down while blake likes warmer temperatures because it reminds her of michigan! when they moved in together they probably also had a small argument about chores because like,,, idk maybe they both hate doing dishes but someone has to do it

More serious things would probably include blake's injury :(( like, sometimes they skate together and she gets the urge to do some of the stunts she used to be able to do and she just cant anymore and agitates her back while trying :(((( They've definitely had conversations about Nico "babying" her because of it and Blake being too reckless about such a big injury! I also feel like they struggled (and still do sometimes tbh) with communication because blake is so used to keeping it in until she blows up and nico kinda just wants to get things over quickly without giving the other space to process

oh for sure! most of their "arguments" are really just bickering over picking up laundry off the floor, temperature (your thought is soo true), chores, etc.

blake is more reckless and is always trying to push the boundaries of her injuries, etc. she agitates her back while skating because she so desperately wants to be at her old level but its just not possible which is frustrating to nico because he just cant understand why she wont start focusing on her health instead of her past.

and with that comes the babying on nicos part, which just upsets blake. they've definitely had numerous conversations about each others limits and boundaries but it does take them both awhile to stop with the reckless / babying habits.

communication is a big one !!! especially since their relationship started off in awkward terms in the sense of them secretly dating. it caused a little bit of a communication problem because nico wanted to just tell jack/everyone that they were in a relationship while blake was more reluctant.

also, blake is used to dealing with things by herself (skating career, injuries, etc.) and often puts pressure on herself to keep things in / accept whatever is going on in her life. therefore she tends to bottle up her feelings while to her, nico seems so forthcoming and outspoken about his annoyances / arguments because hes always so quick to voice his frustrations.

i think when blake is in her modelling 'era' they go through a few rough patches where their communication just sucks. blake is trying so hard to throw herself into the modelling world while being a little reckless to her body in terms of physical labour. it happens in the early stages of their relationship and theyre just a little withdrawn from each other until they decide to sit down and figure it out.

thank u so much for sending it! i love everything 🫂🤍