#sry more angst but you know i actually eat it up

[peachyspaceslvt]

Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Tangerine

— BULLET TRAIN (2022) dir. David Leitch

requested by @rxbyknowby

[soleilnomoon]

Can I request Usopp X reader >> they wake up in bed together after a night of drinking. The details I leave to your wonderful imagination. kiss kiss fall in love <3

ꕤ for u, my best friend, love of my life, light of my world, etc. etc. etc. ofc bitch, you already know ૮₍´˶• . • ⑅ ₎ა ꕤ sry this took so long but yk me, i can't do fluff to save my life.

introspect ; usopp x reader.

1.8k words, afab reader (no pronouns), alcohol mention, angst-lite, a lil fluff, some nsfw (idk cute shit like a handjob or nudity or smth); usopp is too chicken to confess, but who isn't these days

the haziness of the night before never leaves you, weighing you down, stubbornly pinning you to the mattress, even as you wake up in the middle of the afternoon the following day. yawning loudly, you attempt to get up, but something really is preventing you from getting up properly; an arm, actually. a very familiar, toned, brown arm is wrapped around you securely, almost as if this is a regular occurrence between you two, when you know for a fact it is not. blinking rapidly, you try to remember the how's and the whys of last night.

as you scrunch your nose, concentration taking away your self-preservation, you hardly notice him stir beside you. 

“what time is it?” he asks sleepily, sliding closer, his body seeking out your warmth even underneath the thick blanket. memories flash in your mind as you close your eyes again, swallowing hard, the taste of bourbon still on your tongue—how much did you even drink? you’re not even sure anymore. a throbbing headache reminds you to find something to remedy the pain soon. when his fingers curl around your waist, you shudder involuntarily. words stick to the back of your throat, and you struggle to breathe—his presence suddenly commanding all of your attention. you still haven’t opened your eyes; if you do, you’ll have to face him and you don’t want to deal with that just yet.

it takes you a minute, but you do finally respond to his question. “late, probably,” you say softly, voice a little hoarse—possibly from overuse, but the party wasn’t that wild, was it? when it doesn’t seem like he’s going to move away anytime soon, you finally reopen your eyes and stare at him. he looks quite peaceful, sleeping like that; his thick, curly hair tempts you, but you keep your hands to yourself. maybe it got too hot in the middle of the night and you just happened to take your clothes off and also just happened to end up in his bed.

 peeking underneath the blanket only confirms your theory; it’s silly, you know that, but you don’t want to think about the ramifications of anything other than that being the absolute truth of the matter.

“you’re heavy, usopp, move.” you hope your playful demeanor might lighten things up, hope that you didn’t actually cross that line with your best friend, hope that maybe—just maybe—you had more sense than to act on whatever foolish delusions you’ve convinced yourself are somehow tied to hypothetical feelings—ones that are less platonic and more romantic. a panic settles once you’re more cognizant. because… what if someone comes in? what if they see the two of you in bed like this? what will you do then?

almost sensing your unease, he blinks himself awake, frowning a bit. it feels early, but he vaguely remembers a soft voice telling him otherwise. there’s an incessant pounding inside his head, eyes burning as he tries to swim through the fog of his hangover. “what a long dream,” he mumbles out loud, rolling onto his back, arm releasing you from its semi-oppressive hold. he stares at the ceiling, blinking slowly as he pieces together bits and pieces of said dream.

he remembers drinking with you and the others, remembers eating and laughing—strange, it was such a vivid dream, it feels real. and when he feels you shift beside him, everything rushes back to him all at once.

for some reason luffy thought it was a good idea to have everyone play a drinking game. a few games later, with tears in your eyes from laughing for several minutes, you stumble into usopp and he helps you walk. both of you tease and joke with one another, ignoring the final dregs of the party. you suggest hiding out in his room, and he agrees — closely following after you to grab snacks and something to drink. he also remembers feeling hotter than normal, sweat pooling on his temples, barely thinking as he pulls his shirt off, frowning only when he realizes that he still isn’t cooling off.

you’re busy eating a piece of fruit, the juice spilling down your hand and onto your chin; your body sways as you dance to whatever nonexistent song you think is playing at the moment. he watches, entranced with your movements—fluid, like water, and just as unpredictable. you pause, feeling his gaze—a gentle caress, one that startles you, puts you on edge, giving you a rush that feels every bit exhilarating as it does forbidden. 

a coy smile tugs hopelessly on your lips.

“want some?” you offer, holding up the small bowl in your hand; sharing comes second nature to you, and besides, he looks a little thirsty.

he folds his arms against his chest, seeming to consider your request—you eat another piece of mango in the meantime and hop onto his bed. “don’t wait too long,” your tongue glides along the pad of your thumb, lapping up the residual juice, “i’ll end up eating everything by myself.” you won’t, obviously; you’ve already decided to set aside half for him, but you like messing around with him—especially since he’s giving you such a priceless expression, one that’s equal parts surprise and equal parts amusement. 

simply put: you fascinate him—always have, in a way that no one else has. cowardice feeds into his guilt, giving way to shame, and lastly paranoia.

if he tells you any of that, will you see him differently?

he’s always wondered, has wanted to confess for some time now; but whenever he gets a chance, something—or, someone rather—interrupts and he loses his nerve. zoro’s tried giving him advice, but that ended disastrously; brook suggested he write a song, but he’s not lyrically inclined and is pretty tone-deaf. 

it’s put him at a standstill, one that’s slowly driving him crazy, but maybe a bit of liquid courage will do the trick; at least, that’s what he told himself earlier.

so he drank and drank, and now he’s here in his room with you, contemplating like the fool he is. you can tell he��s stuck in his head, so you decide to take charge. sliding off of the bed, light on your feet, you reach him in a few quick strides.

“open up,” you command softly, and so he does—which surprises him, he’s never been one to just do things like that, but with the way you’re looking at him, it’s hard to resist. you feed him a piece of mango, his lips wrapping around the tips of your fingers, your eyelids lowering at the sight. you should pull away, but you like the way his tongue feels—smooth, a welcomed distraction to the thoughts bouncing around your head. he releases them with a soft pop! chewing thoughtfully, letting out tiny groans of approval, something that causes a flush to wrap around you

he knows there’s no reason for him to do any of that, but he can’t help it. your cheeks are on fire as you head back to the bed, finishing the rest of the bowl by yourself. you’re too ashamed, how could you look at him when that simple action turned you on more than you care to acknowledge. he’s your best friend, you will never, ever cross that line; you swore to yourself—and to him—years ago. because the one time you wanted to, he found every excuse in the world to avoid you. 

rejection fuels your desire to preserve your friendship with him.

but you can only handle so much.

so when you get up and announce that you’re leaving to wash your hands, he stops you; adrenaline pumps through him, not wanting to lose this chance. his lips part slightly, the words stumbling in his mouth, refusing to come out. you raise a brow at him, confused—he’s never had an issue expressing himself with you before, so why now? letting out a short sigh, he tries again; his fingers grab your chin, a little more roughly than you’re used to, and he kisses you.

it’s a slow, tentative kiss at first; he takes his time exploring, tongue licking at your bottom lip, causing you to open your mouth for him. your tongues meeting somewhere in the middle; it’s clumsy, but soon you both fall into a rhythm, his hands tangling in your hair while yours run up his chest. something blossoms within you—awareness maybe? you’re not sure, but you’re determined to follow your desire no matter where it takes you.

his hands drift lower, cupping your ass, squeezing playfully as you press against him, a sigh on your tongue as the kiss transforms again. you become greedy, your mouth demanding as you give him feverish tongue kisses—drunk off of his cute reactions, liking the way his bulge is more than evident, your hand sliding into his shorts. your hand wraps around his length, you pump it up and down a few times, earning an audible moan from him. and when he holds you tightly, it’s almost as if he’s afraid to let you go—like he’ll never be able to hold you again. 

it gets fuzzy after that; he lets out a quiet groan, realizing that it might not have been a dream at all. you brush hair away from your face and sit up, rubbing the back of your neck with your hand. “can i borrow a shirt?” you vaguely remember spilling something on your dress last night; you were just too drunk to deal with it and crumbled the dress in a ball, tossing it to a corner like you were playing a game. when usopp doesn’t move, you turn and lean over, face hovering over his. “hellooo, earth to usopp,” you pinch his nose and he swats at your hand in annoyance, drawing a laugh out of you. 

“do you…,” he starts, brown eyes landing on yours, a solemn expression on his face, “want to talk about it?”

you bite your lip as you think it over. “not really, no.” because talking about it will just make things worse in your opinion. “do you want to talk about it?”

the question takes him by surprise, and while a part of him does want to broach the subject, he finds it easier to just ignore it altogether. you should cover up, but what’s the point; he’s already seen you partially naked on many occasions, just not like this. he says nothing and instead brings a hand to play with your hair a bit, your curls coiling around his finger. it’s nothing serious, nothing he hasn’t done before; so there’s no reason for you to brush your lips against his, no reason for you to kiss him that gently, no reason for your heart to beat wildly when he pulls you back for another.

but you do all of that and when your face burns too much for your liking, you boldly declare that you’re going to lounge around on his bed all day, hoping to diffuse whatever tension there is between you. he laughs and laughs, thinking it’s the funniest thing you’ve said all week, and when your embarrassment finally dies down, you laugh too—feeling much lighter than you have before.

[babymilkawa]

oh my your blog is so so pretty,,,!!!! i just binged sm of ur writing and 😩😩✋ IMMACULATE I TELL YOU!! can i request bakugou with fem s/o and he brings her something to eat after arguing ? it’s been a few days and they’ve been kinda ignoring each other and he noticed reader hasn’t come out of their room much and it’s just really fluffy?? ty!!

TYYY 🤧ENJOY!!

after an argument headcanons with:

bakugou katsuki

gn!reader :)

it had been days since the two of you last talked

the last words you had said to each other weren’t things you wanted to ever repeat again

you decided to ignore your boyfriend and wait until he came to apologize

it was about time he swallowed his pride too

U had successfully gone 2 days without even interacting with your bf

but u had also skipped 2 days of school

thanks to your loyal friends, you’ve been able to get the hw done

as for meals, you survived on the stash of snacks u hid in ur drawers

bakugou on the other hand heard abt you locking yourself up in ur dorm

after some time reflecting and advice from kirishima, bakugou knew that he had to take the first step, especially if you weren’t eating properly

he decided that bringing you an actual meal was a good start

knocking on your door, bakugou held a plate of your favorite dish

you were hunched over your desk, wrappers of candy and protein bars scattered all over it

“Come in,” you said, thinking it was Mina with your hw

bakugou hesitantly turned the doorknob and stepped in ur dorm, taken aback by the lack of light due to your shut curtains and the hunched figure in the corner of the room

“thanks you can just leave it th-“

You paused, seeing that it was not Mina

“I..brought this for you”

He placed it on your desk, eyeing the plastic littering it

“Y/n, I’m-“

“I don’t need your food..bakugou”

u said that part softly, hoping that he’d feel the same hurt u did then

It did hurt him, but he sighed and sat down on ur bed

“I’m sorry, ok?” He said softly, afraid that if he raised his voice he’d come off as harsh

U looked at ur boyfriend who seemed to be sulking too

fidgeting with his fingers he said, “I missed you.”

U fully knew that bakugou could’ve just given u the food as an apology and left

But seeing him make an effort to convey his feelings made you get up from your chair

now that he had initiated the first move and apologized, you moved onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in that warm crook

you could feel him jolt in surprise but his arms were quick to wrap around your figure, leaning back so you were now on top of him

“I missed u too,” u said.

you kissed his nose, then his cheeks, his chin, his forehead (lingering there a little) and finally his lips where he happily kissed u back

the two of you got comfortable in your bed and he pulled the covers over you

“you’re going to school tomorrow,” he said.

“i know-”

“and i’m cooking all your meals from now on. no more of that junk shit alright?”

you smiled, loving his nature of looking after you

and right before you fell asleep to the steady beating of his heart, you heard him whisper those three words

a/n: aaah sry there was kind of angst at the beginning heehee 👉🏻👈🏻

bnha masterlist

[thegirlintheswivelchair]

Deep, Disastrous Love || H.H

Pairings: fwb!harry holland x crewmate!reader

Summary: You decided to amp up the meaning of a booty call and surprise Harry at the club. Little do you know, Harry’s struggling with how to deal with your fwb set up.

Wordcount: +3.2k

Warnings: SMUT (like so much of it y’all…it’s pwp), thigh riding, oral fem receiving, unprotected sex (wrap it up folks!!!), super brief mention of alcohol, Angst (it gets angsty folks...sry), readers a tease and in complete denial, some swearing, and overuse of ellipses, aand I wanna say that’s it. (let me know if I missed anything)

A/N: Ok, so this turned into its own thing real quick. I meant for this to be a small little smut fic I could throw out there while I’m slowly making progress on everything else I’m writing! Jokes on me, this turned into its own monster and essentially I made pwp...lol I tried to do something here that I’m not entirely sure if it worked characterwise. So any feedback would be greatly appreciated! Ok, much love, and thanks for reading, liking, and reblogging!

MINORS DO NOT READ. +18 ONLY! THANK YOU!

----

The moment the elevator doors shut, your chest began to tighten as a certain anticipation and fear worked its way around your lungs. Butterflies raged in your stomach, and you felt your heartbeat pick up. 

You had never done this before. You had never surprised Harry. Not at a club, a party, heck you’d never even surprised him at his own door. It had always been a texted booty call or a drunken shag after a night out. That was the way your relationship worked when you weren’t just hanging out as friends. 

This, however...This was new territory. This was you showing up uninvited, purposefully teasing him, and hoping he’d take the bait.

You turned towards the mirrors that surrounded you and looked yourself over. The makeup you’d chosen wasn’t exactly dramatic, but it was smokier and sexier than you usually wore it, and like any fantasy you’ve had about a night like tonight, you rocked a deep, delicious red on your lips. 

Your hands found their way to your dress as you smoothed it out over your figure, making sure everything was perfect. It’s black fabric clung to your body, accentuating the right curves while forgiving others. It was the type of dress that made you feel invincible, and tonight you needed that.

Seeing the numbers steadily tick up to the rooftop where the club was, you turned back towards the doors and took a deep steadying breath in just as the last chime rang. 

Showtime.

The vibrations from the music thrummed through your body as you made your way towards the bar. Your eyes were already scanning the place, looking for the mop of curly red hair you were so familiar with. You didn’t see him until you had gotten your drink--courtesy of a gentleman down the way--and were sipping on it.

Harry was surrounded by a few of his friends, drinking what looked like his usual beer, and sporting a white t-shirt and jeans. You noticed he’d cut his hair. It was shorter, much shorter, than the last time you saw him. His curls were still there, but away from his forehead, no longer loose and running into his eyes. It was a clean cut, and there was something about the new look that had you biting your lip just thinking about what you might do to him tonight, given the chance.

Having found him, you knocked back the rest of your drink and started making your way towards the part of the dance floor closest to Harry and his friends. 

Alcohol and your focus on giving a show kept the self conscious feelings of dancing alone away, and the more you got into the music, the better you felt and the freer you moved. 

It wasn’t long before you started attracting attention. You felt eyes on you, saw the looks some people were giving you, watched the calculations being made for how they would approach you. 

But there was only one pair of eyes that mattered to you. When they finally found your figure, it was like fire licked over your skin. Starting at your feet, gliding up your legs, and wrapping around your torso the flames followed where his eyes traveled. 

You saw out of the corner of your eye, his whole body turning towards you, his tongue darting out and licking his lips. A smirk played on the corner of his mouth as his expression darkened. You could tell he knew what you were up to, and the thought alone added fuel to the fire burning across your body.

Not wanting your game to end just yet, you made it seem like you hadn’t noticed. You turned away from him, still dancing, pretending to be lost in the music. Your hips swayed, and you moved to the rhythm until you felt a pair of warm hands slide across your waist and pull you against a firm chest.

The hands guided you to keep moving as a low murmur made its way to your ears, “Didn’t know you were coming tonight.”

You smirked and murmured back, “Thought I’d spice up the meaning of a booty call.”

You felt his chest rumble as he chuckled, “Spice is right. Showing up here looking like this...” His voice trailed off as his hands slowly slid up and down your sides, and you felt the ghost of a kiss on your neck. The fire that followed his touch was beginning to pool at your core, and you wondered how long you could keep the act up.

“You like it?” you asked as you grind into him, your smirk growing when you heard him hiss. 

Like it? Was that even a question? Harry had seen you look sexy before, but it was never for him. Tonight though, you’d come here looking drop dead gorgeous, playing for his attention, and you ask if he likes it? If he said that didn’t make his heart do a somersault, he was lying through his teeth. Not that he would admit this to you. You were just playing a game...Thankfully, games he could do.

“Yeah, I do.” He said, his voice getting somehow lower than before.

He spun you around so your chests were together, and you looked into his eyes. Their usual warm brown was already darkening, and the glint you saw in them made your panties wet. “Why don’t we go somewhere I can show you how much I like it?”

A smile grew on your lips despite yourself, and you nodded, biting your lip to suppress the grin just a little bit.

----

Harry barely had you through his hotel room door before he was pushing you against the wall. One hand was on the back of your neck, the other dead bolted the door as he crashed his lips into yours. His body pressed against you, your chests moving together as you breathed each other in. He smelled of beer and something musky that you’d always attributed to being him. The familiarity comforted you and sent your heart racing, but that might have been from Harry’s wandering hands.

“This is a new dress isn’t it?” he mumbled in between kisses.

You nodded, “I bought it just for tonight. Just for you to take off.”

Harry moaned at your answer. He wanted nothing more than to rip the dress off you, but he didn’t want the night to end that quickly, not when you were in his arms again, and certainly not when you looked like this.

“Such a naughty girl…” He murmured before his tongue licked along your bottom lip, asking you to open. You gladly let him in as he slotted his knee between your legs, pressing against your core. Sparks erupted in your belly as you melted into the feeling of him all over your body, your arms encircling his neck, one of your hands finding his hair, the other pulling him closer.

Lost in the moment, tongues exploring each other, you almost missed the way his thumb caressed your jaw in the heat of it all. The gentle touch shot to your core, and your hips involuntarily thrust against Harry’s thigh, a little whine coming from the back of your throat.

You felt Harry smirk into the next few kisses as he slid his thigh back and forth underneath you, making you whimper as he gave you the friction you wanted.

Both his hands dropped to your legs, traveling up and under your dress until they stopped at your ass, massaging and squeezing as his leg kept moving against you.

He broke away from the kiss to look at you grinding on his leg, his own cock hardening at the sight. Your head was thrown back against the wall, lipstick starting to smear over your swollen lips, and eyes closed as you felt the pleasure building in your stomach, “Fuck. Look at you in this dress, riding my leg, making a mess of it.” He said softly, licking his lips as he thought about tasting you. Oh god did he want to taste you. He wanted to fucking eat you, make you squirm and come all over his mouth.

He felt your legs starting to quiver, and he leaned forward, kissing and nipping his teeth up your neck until he reached your ear where his voice whispered, “You’re already close aren’t you?” 

“Yes,” You gasped, unable to say much else as the knot in your stomach tightened.

“Go on then, lemme see you fall apart on my thigh.” Harry said as he kissed along your jaw, his mouth swallowing your moans as he reconnected your lips  just as you came. 

Even as the pleasure flooded your system, you knew it wasn’t enough. You wanted more, you needed more. 

“Harry,” you breathed into his lips, his hands beginning to roam your body again, finding the zipper on your dress and tugging.

“Mmm?” He hummed as his lips moved to your shoulder, sucking at the soft skin while his hands slid the dress straps off your shoulders. The dress pooled at your feet, and all that covered you now were Harry’s arms and the flimsy lace thong already ruined by the night's activities. 

“I want you,” You said. The ache was building in your cunt again as you tugged on the hem of his shirt, wanting to get rid of all his clothes so you could actually fuck.

“Needy tonight, huh?” He teased as he pulled away, letting you remove his shirt. He stopped you as you made to undo his pants, his hand covering yours. You looked up at him, your mouth forming a pout, but he only smirked in response saying, “Not yet.”

He led you backwards towards the bed until your legs hit the edge.

“Gonna give you the attention you asked for.” 

He said this casually, but the look in his dark eyes made your breath hitch. You had really only aimed for a good energetic fuck, but it seemed you might have sparked something deeper tonight. 

Harry told you to get on the bed, so you crawled up to its head and watched as Harry climbed after you, situating himself between your legs. His hands smoothed their way up your thighs, and found the band of your panties and pulled.

Once they were gone, Harry groaned at the sight of you. You were fucking divine, every part of you. He kissed the inside of your knee and slowly, methodically began kissing his way towards your center until he reached your throbbing core.

He kissed gently around your clit, frustrating you until you whined, “Harry, come on.”

“So impatient,” Harry chuckled, and you could feel his warm breath on your folds, hovering right where you needed him. 

You were about to whine again when you felt his tongue dash out, lapping at your clit. You jolted at the feeling, your hand immediately flying to his hair, wanting to secure him to the spot, make sure he wouldn’t stop. 

As if he could have stopped...Once Harry tasted you, there was no going back. He hummed with pleasure, and licked at your folds again. He licked from your entrance to your clit, tasting your sweetness on his tongue, and began to swirl his thick muscle around your clit, sucking it into his mouth, savoring every whimper and cry of his name he heard you utter as he ate you. 

It was embarrassing how quickly you were reaching your climax again having had barely any control with the first one. Something about the way he was moaning almost reverently, murmuring praises about how good you tasted, and how beautiful you were was sending you flying to your next orgasm.

“So close, Har,” You mumbled.

“I know.” Harry hummed into your core. He could feel you getting closer as you tightened your grip on his hair. It was almost painful how tightly you held him, but the pride of how fast you were rising and the sheer hotness of you chanting his name had him licking and sucking like he’d starve without you. It wasn’t long before you came all over his tongue and chin.

A proud smirk curled over Harry’s glistening lips when he finally let go of your clit. You watched him move up your body, never losing eye contact until he was hovering over you, licking his lips absently. You barely gave him time to wipe the come from his chin when you pulled him down into a searing kiss. He met your lips and matched the passion with which you were kissing him.

You tasted yourself on his tongue, and you felt yourself clench around nothing. You couldn’t take it anymore, you needed him in you. You wanted to feel every part of him inside you. You wanted his chest pressed against yours and your legs to be wrapped around his body as he ruined you for tomorrow. It was why you had come out tonight, and you were going to feel him, every inch, every vein.

Your hands made their way to his pants, and this time he let you pull them down. His cock sprang free, erect and already leaking, making you even more aware of how empty your pussy was. You immediately went to pump it, but Harry caught your hand before you could.

“‘M not gonna last at all if you do that.” He said breathlessly, removing his pants all the way.

“Then fuck me already,” You answered back with a quick but pointed kiss.

“Gladly,” He said, an amused smirk playing on his lips as he lined himself up with your entrance.

A deep moan came from both of you as Harry pushed in, barely slowing as he bottomed out. You breathed an ok, letting him know you were ready, and he started thrusting lightly into you, but you both needed more and the pace quickened.

The sounds of skin on skin filled the room as Harry slammed into you, his own panting and moans mixing with yours in an off-kilter duet.

“Fuck, Y/n/n, you feel so good.” Harry muttered into your neck.

You barely managed more than his name in answer before your words turned into a cry of pleasure when he shifted your leg just enough to find your g-spot, hitting it over and over and over again. 

All you could feel was Harry, all you could think about was Harry and the way he made you feel. It was all too much to process, and something you didn’t want to process as your high raced to its peak, so you let your pleasure drown it out, getting lost in each thrust of his cock.

Your hands pressed him closer as your nails dragged down his back, no doubt leaving a mark in their wake. That did nothing but drive Harry closer to his own edge, but he wasn’t sure what was sending him faster, the sex or the stupid complicated feelings that were beginning to course through his veins right now.

Having you this close, thinking about you coming here to see him, and the way you were saying his name...It all felt like a jumbled mess of thoughts, and he didn’t know why...No, he knew why, but he wasn’t gonna think about it…

He changed positions one more time, finding an even deeper route through your slick walls as he hammered into you. Both of you moaned in unison, and your walls fluttered around him--a telling sign you were reaching your climax. He was so close himself, the knot just waiting to snap. 

Harry leaned down and kissed your neck, before panting softly, “Come with me, Y/n.”

You hummed and nodded, too far gone to answer with words, and together white hot pleasure explode and rushed through your bodies. Your lips once again found each other as you rode out your orgasms.

When you were finally too sensitive to take anymore, you gently pushed Harry away. He stilled his movements, but didn’t immediately move away, hesitating. It was so tempting to just roll onto his side, taking you with him so you could continue cuddling, but he knew that’s not how this worked between the two of you. You teased each other, kissed, fucked, and left. Falling asleep was certainly a possibility, but you were always gone before he woke. Always making sure what happened in the night, stayed in the night.

Harry looked at your face, absolutely fucked out, with a soft smile playing on your lips as you lazily blink back up at him. He returned the smile, before sweetly kissing your cheek and carefully getting up to grab a warm washcloth.

The cool of the room engulfed you when his body left yours, making you cringe at both the loss of him and his warmth, but you were entirely too tired to care. Even when Harry was back, and you felt him gently cleaning you up, you were already half way asleep, thoughts of him moving in and out of your consciousness.

He was so good at making you feel good. He knew you like the back of his hand. How had you gotten so lucky? You weren’t sure, and frankly you didn’t want to question it. You weren’t going to complicate what you had when it was going so well. Clearly, your gamble had paid off tonight, but it meant nothing--Well not nothing. This was one of the hottest hookups you’d ever had with Harry. You smiled to yourself at the thought. You might just have to do something like this again if it got Harry this riled up.

When the bed to your right dipped down, and you heard the covers shuffle and slid over you, you instinctively turned towards his warm body, nuzzling into his chest and sighing with complete contentment ready to sleep a few hours before finding your way back to your own bed.

Surprised, Harry didn’t immediately wrap his arms around you. He wasn’t sure if he should, knowing full well they’d be empty again in the morning. 

But you won. You always did. If he was going to keep doing this with you, not knowing when he’d have you in his arms next, then he was going to take every chance he had to hold you close. Besides, you were still one of his best friends and a fellow crewman on set. He’d see you tomorrow, and the day after that and the day after that. An empty bed in the morning didn’t need to mean anything...

At least that’s what he kept telling himself when he felt you stir later that night and get up, giving him your habitual goodbye kiss on the cheek. And it’s what he told himself when he heard the sharp click of the hotel door closing, his hands automatically grabbing the other pillow to hug. And it’s what he told himself the next day when he saw you flirting with another guy on set while your eyes flicked to him and winked.

Yeah. He’d told himself it didn’t matter. So why couldn’t he stop himself from falling for you. Because he was, and it was turning into a deep, disastrous love.

----

tagging some moots that might enjoy... (you can always let me know if you don’t wanna be tagged ☺️)

@harryhollandsgirlfriend @cocoamoonmalfoy @greenorangevioletgrass @violetlilysunshine @thsquad @hazofmyheart @hollandsmushroom

[someonewhowannadielol]

What is Love?

Requested by @sassysaxsolo​

Pairing: BadBoy!JK x Innocent!Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Warning: Dirty talk, degrading, oral sex (m and f receiving), pussy slapping, exhibitionism (??). Oh god this has like 4 smut scenes in it, it's nothing but porn bye

Summary: Jungkook has a degrading kink. Y/N doesn’t seem to like it. Also, JK is bad at this entire love thing but totally whipped for the girl of his dreams.

WordCount: 3.6k

A/N: The first scene is inspired by Hunter and Amy from “Hot Summer Night,” because it’s such a cute couple! P.S this might not be my best work because I wrote it at 3AM, so :( sry

You wouldn’t exactly call your boyfriend mean by any chances, but it doesn’t mean he was the nicest person you’ve ever met either. Sometimes you look at other people, like Hoseok, or Jimin, they could most definitely keep you happy – and speak to you like you’re an actual human when you both fuck.

You still remember the first time Jeon Jungkook had ever well, noticed you.

“-and then they both crashed into each other!” your friend was telling this story for the nth time, and you paying your 101% undivided attention to your fries sitting in front of you, basically drowning in ketchup, while trying to ignore the eyes that bore in the back of your head.

It was the last day of your exams as a sophomore in high school, and just like everyone else in town, you’d gone to the diner you always went to, at the end of 15thStreet Avn. Everyone and their mom had decided to come, so it was really busy, you literally had to speak loud to your friends, sitting just across you.

Fifteen minutes ago, Jeon Jungkook had walked into a diner and chose the place that gave the perfect view of you from the back.

Seven minutes ago, your friends had noticed that he was – shamelessly – staring at you, strawberry milkshake in one hand, a lit cigarette in the other. When you tried to look back, his eyes didn’t even flinch when they made contact with yours. On top of it, he winked at you. It was weirdly strange, yet made you feel all giddy inside.

What. The. Fuck. It was a well-known fact that girls would actually die to have one date with Jungkook, willing to get plastic surgeries, buying the most expensive clothes, and even leaving gifts in his locker at school. So why was here he here, in this lame-ass diner? And that too, wasting time while staring at you? He clearly didn’t even take a sip of his beverage.

“Oh my gosh, Y/N, he’s so totally staring at you,” your best friend from across the booth said, while pretending to look at her nails.

“He’s so hot, I would totally take a bite,” your other friend says while taking a bite of her burger.

“Yuck!” you exclaim, as you can’t help but laugh at the thought of it. You had a certain laugh, especially when you were sitting around with your friends – it wasn’t that loud, but your eyes would bunch up as you would unconsciously bring your hand up to your mouth, and would throw your head back.

You dare to look back at him again, but this time you see his coming towards you, while taking a puff from his half smoked cigarette. You immediately turn your head back, so quick that you feared you’d broken your neck.

You look at your friends adjust their hair and posture when they see him coming towards your booth, and you can’t help but play with the hem of your sleeve, biting your lip. He stands across you, leaning on the booth in front of yours, swirling his straw so the whipped cream becomes one with the milkshake.

As soon as he makes eye contact with you, you just freak out and amidst that panic, you blurt out, “I have a boyfriend.”

He looks back at you and smirks, oh God, he looks so, so amazing. This year, he’s grown out his hair, so the waves were sprawled against his forehead, and he pushed it back with his hand after placing the milkshake next to you. He’s the pitch perfect image of a fuckboy; leather jacket, a motorbike, tattoos (even though he’s totally not 18 years old yet), and the lingering scent of cigarettes.

“Nah, no, you don’t,” he takes another puff of his cigarette, “but if you don’t stop being so fucking cute, you will,”

You chuckle, thinking he’s pranking you, thinking it’s just a joke him and his stupid friends had planned out to humiliate you publicly, “You don’t know the first thing about me,” you say as you dip a fry in ketchup.

“I know you like ketchup,” he says, before taking a sip from his milkshake.

That was also the day when Jeon Jungkook had officially asked you out.

-

When you’d spent the entire summer with him, you got to realize one thing about him, he loved to degrade you while having sex. Sure, it was fun the first few times – but after that, words like “slut,” and “whore,” had started making you feel like one.

It was obvious that to you that you weren’t his first priority; football and his friends were always going to be before you. You still remember he was less than enthusiastic when you told him about the art gallery you’d host after working on your still life pieces for two years.

But in reality, everyone on the team knew he was head over heels for Y/N, he had quitted smoking right after he heard you cough, he’s started wearing a helmet whenever he rode his bike, and even let you decorate it with your frilly stickers. He would always, always go out of his way to get a fresh pack of chocolate milk for you, because you once mentioned that your dad doesn’t let you drink it because it’s unhealthy.

“Here, babe,” he says tossing you your daily supply of chocolate milk.

“Hey, remember when I told you about the art gallery I was preparing for?” you said, but it seemed like he was more interesting in scrolling Instagram on his iPhone, “um, because I have to go to art school,”

“Yeah, what about it?” he said, pecking your cheek as he got up for class.

“Well, it’s on the 28thof October, that’s next week,” you say before taking a sip of the milk he got you.

He waited a minute before speaking anything, and you wished, you wished deep in your heart so sincerely that he wouldn’t come up with an excuse.

“You know Jake’s birthday is that day, right? Can’t you reschedule it?” he said, looking down, adjusting his leather jacket.

You felt as if someone was stomping on your chest, it was getting harder to swallow the milk in your mouth, and it didn’t taste like the too sugary drink it was – instead it felt like you were swallowing poison. He surely remembered your rants about how it was so hard to rent a place in that gallery right? Or how it took you three months to manage to snag it for a couple of hours? Or how it took you two years to compile your best art pieces?

“B-but I don’t think I can do that, I barely got to rent the place an-and I- “

“Babe, I don’t think I can make it. The boys and I are going out to the city,” he said, tilting his head.

He didn’t wait for your reply, already walking down the hallway, leaving you heartbroken.

On 28thOctober, you met all the professional people you had dreamed of meeting, it was an honor, especially since you were just a Junior in high school. But, you never saw the face you wanted to see. You couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your chest when the exhibition finally finished, and you had to close the gallery.

That night, around 1AM, Jungkook broke into your room through your window how he usually did, only this time he had a bouquet of roses in his right hand, and red eyes.  When he noticed your tear stricken eyes and smudged mascara, he didn’t think twice before throwing the flowers on your bed and hugging you hard. Then, when he was so close, you noticed that he reeked of alcohol and weed. But it was fine.

He spent the night trying to make you laugh by reciting jokes he was forced to listen from Seokjin, and trying to make up for not being there. He cuddled you, putting your head under his chin, your body resting on his chest. It felt like home, when you would be with him, alone.

“How did it go?” he asks, nuzzling his face in your neck, peppering kisses there.

“It went amazing, I got a lot of good critique from artists and college professors,” you say, running your hands through his hair, you still missed his long hair that he cut last week, but it was way softer now,

“I missed you,” you say as he hummed.

He loved how you were like an open book, not like the girls he had been with before. You wore dresses – which he loved, because easier access – and you had long, virgin hair. He loved how untouched you were, innocent, pure and uncorrupted. He loved the little chub on your cheeks, he loved your pillow soft breasts, he loved how you always tasted like strawberries because of your chap stick. He loved virtuous you were. His to taint.

“I’m here, baby, and to make up for it, we’ll go to that café you always wanted to go to, my treat for being the best girlfriend,” he mumbled in your ear before taking off your dress and peppering kisses all over your body.

Of course, your mood had evidently changed, “Okay, you goofball,” you laugh as he tickles you.

“Baby, even if everything is wrong, it’s always going to be alright, and you know why?” he says as he kisses you on the lips. It was a chaste kiss, a huge contrast from his usual drunk kisses, they seem to be more chaste, more genuine, “you’re the only good thing in my life,”

You forgive him, like every other time.

You also toss him out the window before 6AM, before your father catches you with a boy. And that too, Jeon Jungkook. He’d probably kill you. It reminded you of the time when Jungkook decided to eat you out, on a weekday, on your bed, with your room unlocked.

It was no surprise when you found out that he was especially skilled with his tongue, not that any boy had ever even touched you there. You fought your moans, because your dad was literally downstairs watching his daily 9pm news. You knew he’d check up on you at 9.30 PM to ensure that you were studying for the SAT.

But here you were, your face stuffed with your own panties as the taste of your cum took over your tongue, it was a little embarrassing for you to taste yourself, but you paid more attention to the brown haired man between your legs. He’d mutter the same obscene words that used to give you the pleasure you needed at first, but soon became insecure of.

“You like that, dirty slut?” you mewled as he worked his tongue on your clit, adding another finger to the previous one inside of you. His two fingers did more than what you could do with your entire hand, the long slender fingers were now knuckle deep inside of you, doing wonders to your body.

“You’re such a whore, moaning here like a bitch in heat, when everyone thinking you’re an angel, huh,” he says as his fingers thrust in and out of you, lewd noises filling your small room.

You felt your blood run cold, when you could hear your dad’s footsteps on the stairs. Fuck.

“Three. You have three seconds to cum, or forget about it,” he said looking your straight in the eye, his fingers working faster than ever.

You could feel yourself pent up, your walls clenching down on his fingers.

“Two,” he said, attacking your bud with his tongue, a circling pattern, making you shake.

Before he could say ‘one,’ you were cumming, all over his fingers, your thighs and your sheets.

Jungkook chuckled, “Fucking whore,” before jumping out of your window in time, just a second before your dad came in your room. You were under the blanket, your panties under the bed, and your pride out of the window.

As you excused your flush face as a small fever, you couldn’t help but feel a weird twist in your stomach. You didn’t exactly like the way you felt.

You had avoided Jungkook as much as you could the next week, but he didn’t exactly notice because recently the football team had been putting in more hours to prepare for the nationals. He’d still slipped loving notes in your locker, and strapped a red rose on Thursday as well, that made your heart flutter.

The next time you met him was on the bus, on your way home.  

He could’ve rode his bike to his home, but he wasn’t born yesterday, he knew something was up with you when you didn’t respond to any of his messages, and didn’t even acknowledge him in your English class.

The was bus was packed, to say the least, as he followed you as you went to the tail of the vehicle, excusing people. The next stop had more people stepping in here, and he was even more pressed towards you.

You instantly regretted wearing the tennis skirt you wore yesterday, because it was short short, and also thin. You no longer had an excuse to avoid your boyfriend as you felt him press up against your back, you could feel his bulge on your butt.

You tried to look back up at him, but whimpered when you saw the animalistic look in his eyes, and the way he towered over you wasn’t helping either. You sucked in a breath when you felt his finger hitch up, and up, and up, until it was so, so near your panties as he circled your inner thigh with his thumb. He could notice how you were hyper-aware of the surroundings, as if people could see everything that was happening, everyone could see how your boyfriend was basically fingering you on the bus.

“Do you wanna do this?” you heard Jungkook whisper in your ear, and truth be told, you had missed him, the feeling of his dick, his fingers, that you needed him, and you needed him now.

You nodded, and just as soon, you heard him chuckle, “You really are a dirty slut huh?” he said as he slapped between your thighs, making your knees buckle.

With one hand, he held the handle above so he would stay balanced, but with the other one, he steadied your hips, grinding his hips against you. You almost felt embarrassed by how aroused you were, and how quick you were wet. Seconds later, you could feel his fingers separate your folds, “Spread your legs, whore.”

As you spread them, you finally noticed how many people were actually here, and how to the untrained eye it just looked like he was hugging you, but his fingers were now scissoring inside you, stretching you.

You could feel him taking his cock out of his sweatpants, brush it in your folds. You were always so sensitive, the smallest of touches against your clit would make you cry out and moan, so it was no surprise that you let out some noises as his cock entered in you.

“Make one more noise, and I won’t be scared to fuck you senseless in front of all these people,” he whispered in your ear again, this time rocking his hips into you.

“Such a slut, huh? Tell me you’re a slut,” he said, and when he noticed that you didn’t do as he said, he completely stopped all movements. You couldn’t thin straight with his dick sitting inside of you, you needed to get off, and this neediness of yours made you want to crawl into a grave and die.

“I- I’m a slut,” you whispered, and Jungkook wouldn’t have been able to heard that, if he wasn’t basically glued to you.

“S-say it again,” he stuttered and you could feel the both of you coming closer.

“I’m a slut! I’m a whore for you, Jungkook,” you whispered, as you felt yourself cum. As for him, instead of cumming in you, like you thought he would, he took himself out, and jerked off in your panties. The feeling of his cum against your soaked panties was lecherous to say the least, you could feel your panties stick to your clit, almost as a reminder of the disgusting deed you’d just done.

“Keep those on until you get home, such a fucking bitch, fucking her boyfriend in a bus,” Jungkook whispered in your ear, and stepped off the bus after slapping your ass.

And you were left alone again, thinking if you really were the slut he made you out to be.

Your next interaction with Jungkook had been next week, when you both had decided to do the English homework together, at his house. While you spent at least two hours, researching on the topic, Jungkook had simply bullshitted the entire essay in half an hour. Sigh, this is why he was failing. As you were left on his bed, completing the essay, he sat on the other end, gaming with Taehyung and some random boy through his PlayStation party.

Finally, another two hours later, you were done with the horrid essay and were desperately craving your loving and adoring boyfriend’s attention.

“Jungkook,” you tried to get his attention, but didn’t even turn around to look at you. You continued to annoy him, “Kookieee,”

Suddenly, you saw a blast on the screen, as Jungkook slammed his controller on the floor.

He muted his mic before speaking, “You just don’t wanna be a good girl for me today, huh?” At this point, you straddled his lap. He picked you up without a glimpse of hesitation, settling you between his legs, as he took out his cock.

“Suck me, and be quiet about it, unless you want Tae to hear what a desperate bitch you are,” he says, and you’re left to suck him. Jungkook definitely wasn’t small, not even close. In fact, when hard, he was bigger than you had expected dicks to be. So, 4 rounds of battle later, your jaw had started to ache, and you couldn’t help but cry out an elicit moan, forgetting Tae could hear everything.

Jungkook turns off his gaming station as soon as he hears you, “I think I told you to shut the fuck up, but you’re just too fucking stupid to understand,” he says as he harshly picks you up by your ponytail.

“I’m gonna fuck you, gonna fuck you so hard that you’ll be nothing but a dumb bitch hungry for cock,” he says as he thrashes you on the bed, stretching you out with his fingers.

Before adjusting his dick, and putting it in front of your entrance, he slaps your cunt, “that’s for fucking my game night, you bitch,” and he enters you, rough and fast.

He pushed his hair back, it’s been growing again, as he looks at you with his doe eyes again, this time they’re a shade darker. This turns you on, as you let out a whimper, “Jungkook c-close,”

“Cream yourself on my dick, go on, my dumb baby,” he chuckles, before increasing his speed, the sound of skin slapping filling the silence of the room, “Such a desperate cock slut, you can’t get off with me, huh?”

Moments later, when you both cum simultaneously, he lays down next to you and stares at the ceiling.

“What are you thinking of?” he asks, minutes after your silence. This time, he’s not harsh, but instead you’re surprised by his loving tone.

“Just thinking if you love me or not,” you mumble, closing your eyes, missing the surprised look on his face, eyes wide open, jaw ajar.

“Wha- Baby, of course I love you,” he stutters on his words, not knowing what to say. What had made you believe that he wasn’t head over heels in love with you?

“I just… I don’t know, I don’t like it when you call me names,” you explain already feeling embarrassed at being such a prude.

“Baby girl,” he sits up, and kisses your cheek, “you should’ve told me, I- I’m sorry,”

Jungkook looked like a hurt puppy, his eyes downcast, as he fiddled with his fingers. The next week, he had spent making sure you felt like the Princess you were, his Princess. Obviously, you had noticed his behavior, bringing a donut along with the chocolate milk, ditching football practice to meet you, kissing your hands every time he met you, peppering you with kisses.

“Kook, you don’t have to do this,” you exclaimed when he took you to see the beach, two hours away from the town.

“I just my Baby to know that I love her, and I want her to be happy,” he says, and for the first time, you feel like you’re free. You’re free when you’re with him and you love it.

You’re always happy with him. You loved his sloppy kisses, his shit eating grin when his fingers made you cum, his habit of bringing you chocolate milk every day, his scent which was a mixture of cologne and cigarettes, his hoarse voice after he wakes up. You knew no matter how much he accidentally hurt you, he loved you too.

CLICK HERE FOR MASTERLIST

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

mad archer for the wips game! :D

YOOO OK THANKS FOR THE ASK CHES AND SRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!

Mad Archer is my weird gorefest/horror/angst excuse fic where Childe, by virtue of summoning Osial, gets a little possessed (a lot possessed). And the premise is basically: Childe goes rogue, does a lot of murders, Traveler tracks him down to be like hey bestie wtf. Considering making it Chilumi if I ever get around to writing it again.

It's kinda a reimagining of my bsd fic Eat the Apple, actually.

Also, Childe kills Teucer. Because gorefest :)

Lumine bursts into the Northland Bank like she has Abyss mages on her heels, crackling with barely suppressed lightning and a stiff breeze at her back. The Fatui guards inside unsheathe their knives, even the ones that had been pretending to be customers, but she ignores all of them to stride up to the counter. Ekaterina doesn’t look fazed—she never does—and only raises an eyebrow behind her mask. 

“Traveler,” she greets pleasantly. “This is a surprise. Last we heard, you were in Inazuma.” 

What are you doing here? is the unspoken question. 

“Childe,” Lumine says without preamble. “Tartaglia. Whatever we’re calling him these days. Do you know where he is?”

Ekaterina only tilts her head to the side, icy and inscrutable. “I wouldn’t know where any members of her majesty’s elite are at any given moment, no. And even if I did, I’m not at liberty to divulge any information about their whereabouts.”

Lumine grits her teeth and resists the urge to slam her hand down on the desk, knowing a show of force is more likely to get her kicked out and barred from reentry more than anything else. “Have you heard the rumors?” she asks. 

“I hear many rumors,” says Ekaterina, who at this point must just be trying to be difficult. 

Paimon chooses this moment to appear in a shower of intangible sparks, hovering in her customary spot above Lumine’s shoulder. “The ones about the Mad Archer,” she says, her expression twisted up in fear and discomfort. “The murderous archer with a red scarf who’s been wiping out villages all over Teyvat.”

Ekaterina lets the silence between them hang heavy in the air, which is how Lumine knows Paimon’s words had hit their mark. “That does sound concerning,” she says, stiffly polite. “But I assure you. The Fatui have all their affairs in order, and the Mad Archer certainly has nothing to do with us.”

“You’re lying,” Paimon cries. 

Ekaterina shrugs gracefully. “Believe what you will, little fairy,” she says. “But it’s the truth.”

[hanniiesuckle17]

The Comment Section

A/n: as a technically plus size girl myself i really liked writing this! feel free to request again after I finish the rest of the ones I have now! (sry this is not thoroughly edited)

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: cussing, mentions of hate

Requested by: anonymous 

Tag List: @distrikt9​ @mini-meanhoe​ @poeticallyspaghetti​ @hanstagrams​ @yangomangos​ @hoes4hoseok​ @desertfordessert​

Summary: Being on the larger side had never stopped you from anything before. You were confident in your curves and loved how you looked. It was one of the reasons that Han Jisung fell head over heels in love with you. Who would have thought a few silly little pictures would turn your world upside down.

Genre: fluff, little angst, romance

✯

Meeting Jisung was a complete accident. A complete accident that changed my life forever. I was a lost foreign exchange student desperate to find her way back to her dorm in the hot summer streets of Seoul. By pure chance, I had bumped into him on the street. I had no idea who he was at the time and he seemed to find that fascinating. 

We ended up walking together until the sun set and the store signs lit up casting neon glows on our faces. Soon we both got lost wandering through the streets talking about everything and nothing in my broken korean and his adorable english. 

Jisung bought me dinner and then we finally found my dorms. He left me with the promise to take me out and get lost again. And that was the start of our relationship. About our fifth date, Jisung told me about his job and who he was. He was utterly shocked that I didn’t freak out about his celebrity status. He always said that what I told him after was when he began falling in love with me. 

“Whether you sing in front of thousands of people, pick up garbage on the side of the road, or teach pre-schoolers not to pick their noses, I would rather be with you than any other place or with any other person on the planet.” 

Now a year and a half later, we were dating and living together in an apartment near the company. Jisung was quite upset that he had to keep our relationship a secret. The company after many attempts at breaking us up gave in and let him continue our relationship despite his dating ban, but only if he kept quiet about it and nothing got leaked to the press. 

This meant we rarely got to go out unless both of us wore masks and hats and for five months out of the year, I was sitting at home waiting for Jisung to come back from tour trying to pretend like I didn’t have a boyfriend to begin with. But, it was all worth it. Jisung was worth it. 

“Yes, dad. I promise I’m eating well.” I said looking at my father through a computer screen. My ears picked up on Jisung moving behind me to open the fridge and I knew what was about to happen next. 

“Jisung!” My father called. Hearing his name he turned and leaned over me to look at my father. “Jisung, how are you?” My dad smiled and turned to focus on my boyfriend. 

Jisung laughed seeing me drop my head in my hands. He leaned against the counter, a bright smile on his face. “I’m fine, Mr. L/n.” 

“How many times have I told you? Just D/n is fine. Now, is she eating well? I know she has exams. You have to make sure my daughter is eating!” Jisung’s arm wrapped around my stomach, pulling me to his side. 

“Of course! We are going out to eat soon actually.” He said cheerfully, pushing the hair away from my face. 

I jumped at the opportunity Jisung secretly handed me. “Yes, Dad! So, we have to go! I love you, talk to you later, bye!” Jisung waved before I slammed my laptop closed, effectively hanging up on my father. “Can we really go out to eat?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his waist. He smiled taking my face in his hands, squishing my cheeks. 

“Of course. I’m starving.” Placing a kiss on my forehead he exited the kitchen. While he was doing whatever he was doing, I ran to our bedroom and changed out of the pajamas I had worn all day. 

Grabbing some shorts and one of Jisung’s shirts I started tying my shoes. How any of his clothes fit me at all was a mystery to me. Jisung was a twig compared to me. Granted he was a very muscular twig. But a twig none the less.

Jisung smiled seeing me in the baggy white fabric that covered my shorts entirely. He leaned against the doorway, dark hair falling in front of his doe eyes. He didn’t bother changing out of his gray sweatpants and tank top. “I never get tired of seeing you in my clothes.” 

“I never get tired of wearing them.” He smirked, watching me get up from the bed and walk over to him. I let my hands travel up his chest as he looked down at me. “Are we taking the car or the subway?” I whispered, leaning up and kissing his lips. A cheeky smile slip onto his face as his hands grabbed onto my ass. 

“I heard it’ll rain soon. Subway?” I nodded and kissed him again, fingers threading through his hair. “Ready to go, baby?” With another nod, we left our apartment, masks on and hats covering our faces. Instinctively, I pulled the white cap on Jisung’s head lower to cover his handsome features. He did the same with the black bucket hat (which was probably his) that I wore. 

Just as Jisung said, a light sprinkled down on us as we walked to the nearest subway station. Unfortunately, the train was crowded, leaving no seats for me and Jisung. We got a few weird looks, most likely because of the excessive face covering. 

We shared low whispers about where to eat and bickered about what stop to get off at. I turned out to right and dragged him off with train, just before the doors closed. Laughing, we ran through the rain to get to our favorite sushi place. 

The woman who owned the restaurant greeted us happily when we entered, ushering us to a secluded back table. Jisung didn’t even look at the menu before ordering enough food to fill every inch of the table. 

“How is the new album coming?” I said picking up a piece of fish. He nodded cheeks half full of food. I smiled seeing his little habit resurface itself.

“Good. I sent a song off to Chan this afternoon. He and I will work on composition tomorrow.” His long fingers maneuvered the chopsticks to place another roll onto my plate. I tried to put it back but he shook his head, adding another one as well. “How are your classes?” 

“Stressful, but manageable. You know the girl next to me in my Maths class is a STAY. She has Seungmin’s photocard in her phone case.” Jisung smiled eating another piece of sushi. “Her phone rang in class the other day. Guess what her ringtone was?” 

He hummed and looked up at me expectantly. “What?” He said covering his mouth, silver rings glinting in the low warm light. 

“Close.” Jisung’s eyes lit up as he started laughing. 

“I almost got in so much trouble when I released that song.” He said dipping a roll in soy sauce. “STAY almost figured out about us.” 

“Well, you did all but put my name in the song,” I said with a laugh. Somehow we had managed to eat all the food on the table. “Did you really feel that way when we met?” I asked him, my elbow resting on the table. 

A waitress came and cleared our table. Jisung stared at me, a soft look in his eyes. “Of course. You were the most gorgeous girl I had ever laid eyes on.”

“You are just saying that because you thought I had a great ass.”

“It is a great ass.” He said eyeing me up and down, a sly smirk on his face. “We should get going. It’s already raining cats and dogs.” Jisung paid for our meal and shoved his black hat back on my head with a smile, draping his arm over my shoulder as we walked out. He was correct. The rain was pelting down on the streets like bullets. “You ever been kissed in the rain?” He asked out of nowhere.

That mischievous smile glowed on Jisung’s face. “No, why?” 

Without another word, Jisung pulled me out into the rain, soaking us both. His brown hair turned dark and stuck to his forehead as he pulled down my mask. My eyes glanced around the nearly empty street, before staring back into Jisung’s bright eyes. His long fingers lifted up my chin before resting on my cheek. The cool rain dropped around us, but I felt warm in his arms. 

His lips dragged over mine, butterflies thundering in my stomach along with the rumble in the sky. My chest pressed against his, the wet fabric rubbing together. His teeth cheekily dragged over my bottom lip as I pulled away. 

“Get out of the street!” Someone yelled honking their horn. Jisung and I turned to see a car’s headlights shining through the rain. We laughed and moved back under the awning. “Crazy kids!” The man yelled as he drove passed us. 

I kissed Jisung again, tangling my fingers in his wet hair. “I love you,” Jisung whispered, pulling away. “All of you,” His hands ghosted over the curve of my hips. “Do you love all of me?” 

“More than anything, Jisung.” 

The cool rain sent a breeze under the cover. He pulled me closer to him kissing the top of my head. “Home?” He muttered looking around the wet street. 

“Home.” 

I pulled the dark fabric over his face, leaving nothing but his round lively eyes for me to see. His warm hand enveloped mine before we ran through the rain. Our feet splashed through puddles as each step brought us closer to the train that would carry us back to our little apartment.

✯

Bright light streamed through the bedroom window. An arm was wrapped tightly around my stomach. I smiled and shifted under the blanket so I could look at the handsome face of the man next to me. My eyes glanced at the clock before reaching over and stroking his hair. 

“Jisung?” 

He hummed, nestling into the pillow. I smiled feeling him reach for my hand and bring it to his lips. Drowsy kisses from his plump tired lips trailed over my skin. “You saying my name in the morning is so sexy.” My laugh filled the bedroom. His raspy voice never failed to send shivers down my spine.

“You think anything I say is sexy.” Jisung’s eyes slowly opened and his hands moved to rub his face, the muscles in his arms flexing ever so slightly. My fingers traced patterns over his bare chest, the skin radiating a welcoming warmth under my touch. 

“No way. Prove it.” He said with a goofy smile. 

Chuckling, I kissed his cheek. I thought about what to say. Leaning down, my breath fanned across his cheek. “I have to go shopping because we have no ramen left in the kitchen.” My words floated into his ear and I could see his cheeks redden at my tone. 

Jisung groaned, pulling me fully on top of him. “Yeah, you were right. Anything you say is sexy.” He laid still for a moment, his hands rubbing up and down my back. “Do you need money for groceries?” He hummed. Shaking my head, I sat up, legs falling on either side of his waist. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes, Ji. You don’t have to pay for everything, you know.” He laid back with a smile on his face, hands behind his head. Jisung stared up at me keeping that sleepy bright grin on his face. “You should get up. You’ll be late before you know it.” 

A sigh heaved from his chest as he watched me leave the bed. It was evident his eyes were trained on me as I sorted through our shared closet. “You’re right.” The rustling of sheets told me he was shuffling out of bed and most likely towards the bathroom to shower.

Soon I was walking Jisung to the cab he had called down in front of our building. The fabric of my leggings brushed together as I rushed forward pulling him back for one more kiss before he entered the taxi. “Don’t forget, we have a date with pizza and a drama tonight,” I whispered against his lips. 

His long fingers gripped my waist, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. His warm touch slipped into the waistband leaving something paperlike between the tight fabric and my skin. “For the groceries.” Jisung pecked my lips before getting into the cab. “Love you!” He called, rolling down the window. 

Waving back, I watched the car pull away from the curb and drive my boyfriend to his company. Curious, I reached for the money he slipped me. Had I worn a hoodie and not a crop top, he wouldn’t have been able to do so easily. It was a habit he had of spoiling me and paying for things despite my protests. “Good grief, Ji,” I muttered to the near empty street. 

My feet carried me to a nearby supermarket. I walked the aisles tossing anything we needed into the cart I picked up at the entrance. My hands lingered on a bag of chips, debating whether I actually needed the study snack. Jisung never cared how much weight I put on or how much I lost. I was confident in how I looked, so I wanted chips. I would get chips. Smiling I tossed them in the basket before moving to the next aisle to pick up a few bottles of wine and soju. I never knew when Chan and Changbin would pop by for a ‘lyric session’ and need ‘inspiration’ 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two girls whispering and looking my way. More than a year with Jisung had taught me to have an observant eye in public places whether he was with me or not. They stopped their talk when I turned to look at them. After placing the bottle in my cart I waved to them with a kind smile before going on my way. 

Jisung returned later than usual. But, then again. There was no usual for when he came home. He passed out on the couch while I ordered us a pizza. While I waited, I lazily scrolled through twitter until something caught my eye. 

“Rapper Han Jisung Spotted With Supposed Secret Girlfriend” 

My eyes skimmed the article searching for any proof. My heart sunk finding what I sought. Several pictures of Jisung and me from the day before were shown below. Our faces were seen as clear as day despite the rain. We should have been more careful. I sighed, head in my hands. Curious, I scrolled to see what his fans were saying.

“I can’t believe this”

“So he really was seeing someone?”

“She’s so fat! She doesn’t deserve him”

“My friend and I saw her at the supermarket. She had like eight bottles of soju in her cart. Alcoholism puts on wait you know.”

“She’s a drunk and fat. I can’t believe she’s dating our Han.” 

“She looks like a cow. Seriously I understand why he hid her from us.” 

“Guys, stop. If he is happy then leave him alone.”

“He looks disgusted in those photos”

“Does she not care about herself? She’s dating one of the greatest rappers in the industry and she looks like a heavy slob.”

I tossed my phone onto the kitchen counter, not wanting to look a the comments anymore. My shoulders felt heavier than usual. Shower. A hot shower always made me feel better. Abandoning my device, which was blowing up with notifications, on the counter I marched to the bathroom and turned on the water letting steam fill the room. 

The scalding water pelted against my bare skin as I stood under the showerhead. After my skin turned red, I stepped out of the shower, wiping steam away from the mirror. 

My eyes raked over the body I once thought beautiful. How could my mind change so quickly? The curves I used to love now seemed ghastly and unflattering. The rolls on my stomach seemed more prominent as I looked over my bare body. My fingers traced over the waved marks on my thighs and pelvis, wondering how I never noticed them before today. 

“Y/n, baby?” A knock sounded at the door but did not wait for an answer to open. Instinctively, my hands slammed it shut shocking the man on the other side. “Woah- Babe, what’s wrong? Are you okay? It’s nothing I haven’t seen many many many times before.” The smirk in his voice was evident, but I still felt exposed, despite the towel I moved to wrap around myself. 

“Just go away. I’ll be out in a sec. There is beer and soju in the fridge. Go get one; the pizza will be here soon.” 

I waited until I heard Jisung walk away before turning the knob and sneaking into our bedroom. My fingers grasped at the first baggy shirt I could find, but looking in the mirror it hugged in places that should not be hugged and made my body look lumpy and fat. Throwing on some leggings and one of Jisung’s fluffy jackets I decided this was enough coverage suitable to walk around in.

Jisung’s eyes widened when I entered the living room. “Wow. You planning an expedition to Antarctica?” 

“I’m just cold, Jisung.” He watched with wary eyes as I pull the jacket further around my body. The doorbell rang turning both our heads. “I’ll get it.” Jisung nodded and picked up the remote, turning on the TV. 

Opening the door I expected to see a pizza delivery man waiting for his tip, but instead, the hallway was empty. Before I closed the door, my gaze landed on something on the welcome mat. 

A bouquet of wilted, dried, dead flowers. A ribbon darker than black was wrapped around the fragile stems. With shaking hands, I picked up the flowers. Petals and leaves fell to the ground. A note was tucked between the graying stems. 

Fat Bitch.

Subconsciously, I pulled the jacket around my body, covering as much as possible. “Y/n? Everything okay? They didn’t forget my garlic knots, right? They forgot last time.” Jisung’s voice called out. My eyes still stared down at the bouquet in my hands. “Baby?”

I felt cold. It felt like I wasn’t in my own body; like my soul had left this world leaving me a shell standing with no will of its own. 

“What the fuck is this?”

Shaking myself out of the trance, I looked to see Jisung standing beside me anger flooding every inch of him. Not waiting for an explanation he took the bouquet from my hands, more petals falling to the floor. The note seemed to make him even angrier. 

“Fuck,”

I closed the door and watched him throw the flowers onto the counter, sending dead leaves flying across the kitchen floor. He turned to me, fury in his eyes. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something. “We both knew this was going to happen sooner or later.” His jaw dropped, not believing my words. 

“You aren’t furious? You aren’t pissed off? Why are you not bothered by this?” 

“Jisung, I can’t be bothered by something I already know is true!” 

He stared at the flowers littering the counter. “You can’t possibly think that...can you?” Jisung sighed watching me shrug and fiddle with the sleeves of his jacket. “Y/n...this is not you. What happened to the girl who surprised me in my studio wearing nothing but a trench coat and lingerie just because I said I missed your smile?” My gaze fell to the floor, fixated on one of the leaves. “Where’s the girl who went skinny dipping with me on the night of our anniversary in Jeju?” 

“I don’t know, Jisung!” He was shocked hearing me yell. “They are right! Okay! I am a fat cow with no reason to be dating you. I’m not sexy and skinny and I don’t have the body of a model. You know who does? The girl you should be dating! Maybe I just don’t like myself anymore!” 

“The Y/n I know and love didn’t care how much she weighed.” 

“Well...maybe I’m not your Y/n anymore.”

“That I don’t believe.” Jisung took my face in his hands, staring into my eyes. “I know about the photos. I know about the comments. They are all false, okay? None of them are true and you know it.” His thumbs brushed over my cheeks, voice full of desperation and sadness. 

“Jisung, I’m not beautiful. I don’t feel beautiful anymore. I don’t see how you can love someone who can’t even see themselves as pretty.” 

He sighed, leaning down and capturing my lips in a breathtaking kiss. I could feel all his emotions, everything he wanted to say as his lips moved against mine. Jisung pulled away, his eyes looking lovingly into my own. “I don’t love you because you are beautiful,” He whispered, pushing a strand of wet hair behind my ear. “You are beautiful because I love you. All of you.”

“Even the stretch marks?” 

“The stretch marks. The curves. All of you.” 

Sighing, I rested my head against his chest. “Why did I even think that?” Jisung let out a shaky breath stroking my still damp hair. “Shit, I was so stupid to believe those comments for even a second.” 

“I can’t blame you. I’ve done the same.” 

Pulling away, my hands cupped his cheeks before moving to wrap around his neck. “I love you,”

“I love you more.” Jisung kissed my forehead, dark hair falling in front of his eyes. A thought came to mind that made me giggle. “What?” He asked with a smile, leading me back over to the couch. 

“How did you even remember that studio thing? That was like...in the first month we were dating!” 

He laughed, pulling me into his chest and falling back onto the sofa. “Are you kidding? That may have been the single greatest day of my entire life.”

“You are just a pervert.” Again the doorbell rang, causing both of our heads to peek over the top of the couch cushions. “Can you get it?” Jisung nodded and got out from under me. A few moments later he came back with two pizzas and his beloved garlic knots. “They didn’t forget?” 

“Nope!” He said happily flipping open the boxes. “Here.” He pulled one away and fed it to me, the fluffy breading melting in my mouth. 

“You know what I think?” 

“What?” He asked already somehow halfway through the box of garlic knots.

“I think I can eat this entire pizza faster than you.” 

He closed the garlic knot box, a wry grin on his face. “Oh, you are so on, babe.” He planted his feet firmly on the floor and turned to his pizza box. “Ready? Three....two....-” Before he finished counting down I grabbed a slice and stuffed it in my mouth. “Y/n that’s cheating!” Between bites, I laughed as I watched him try and catch up from my early start. 

“Come on, twig boy! Catch up.” He laughed and shoved another slice into his mouth filling his cheeks.

✯

Requests are Temporarily Closed! Sorrrrrryyyy

Masterlist

[catboymingi]

and the damsel in distress - veninder chap. 2

navi/masterlist

story masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: angst, fluff; eventual best friends to lovers

word count: 7.2k

warnings: language, insecurities, past trauma mention, somewhat suicidal thoughts (very briefly, one sentence)

a/n: after ages of exams where i focused on smaller writings i finally am updating... this chapter is a ride but it is the ride i decided to take

yo var det mig / der’ dummet sig? - was it me / that messed up?

when you woke up and unlocked your phone you immediately wished you hadn’t woken up, ever. you had more than a hundred messages from various chats, and while you wished you could just ignore them forever you knew that you’d have to deal with it tomorrow latest, and you’d rather do it without an audience. so you had no choice to reply, opening the private messages first and telling all your friends that you’d reply in the group chat, before you opened that one.

[y/n]: sry for that. forgot my wallet, had no way to get home in time

[y/n]: nothing happened tho

the reply came almost immediately, as if they’d just waited for you to come online.

[saranghoe]: u literally didnt even try 2 call dibs n now ur staying the night?? seems suspicious

[model contract when???]: yeah literally!

[y/n]: as i said, better than sleeping on the street

[model contract when???]: just dont go near them again. ever

[y/n]: fine

[y/n]: deal

you hated the idea, but you knew that if you didn’t agree your life would be a living hell. and that was definitely not something you wanted, knowing how they’d made life hell for other people and knowing that there was no way anyone could protect you from that. so, the next thing you did was click on ‘hyung hate club’, not even bothering to read the messages before leaving the group. you didn’t like this, but it was better this way. as much as you liked the boys, you liked being able to go to uni in peace more, and you knew that would be impossible if you so much as breathed in their direction from now on. you sighed, putting your phone down and laying back onto your bed again, wanting some peace for yourself, but you weren’t granted that. less than a minute after you’d laid down your phone buzzed, once, twice, thrice. knowing that you wouldn’t be able to relax until you knew what was up you sat back up, checking your phone to see messages from an unknown number. curious, you clicked on the notification.

[unknown]: y/n???

[unknown]: im mingi

[unknown]: whats wrong??

you weren’t sure whether to be happy he messaged or scream into your pillow. in some way it was nice he cared, but that also meant it would be harder to avoid the boys. and that meant that, no matter how hard you tried, your friends would have a reason to be upset.

[y/n]: why?

[unknown]: you left the gc?

[unknown]: what happened

[y/n]: nothing dw, im all good

he saw the message but didn’t reply right away, which made you think that maybe he’d accept your reply. but then you saw him typing again, and a message you didn’t expect at all appeared on your screen.

[unknown]: did i mess up

[y/n]: wdym

you genuinely had no idea what he meant, or rather, how he could’ve got the idea that he’d messed up in any way. he’d been nothing but kind to you, there was not a single thing he could possibly have messed up on. but when a new message popped up you knew he was genuinely worrying about it, and you felt bad for not being able to tell him the real reason why you left the group chat, why you had to avoid them.

[unknown]: like did i do something wrong

[y/n]: not at all

[y/n]: its not abt you dw

you hoped he’d leave it be with that, but of course not. he wanted to know what was wrong, he wanted to know why you suddenly didn’t seem to want to talk to him, or any of them for that matter, anymore.

[unknown]: then what is it

and while you were thinking of a good excuse, mingi seemed to have caught on to what exactly the problem was, as was made apparent by his next message.

[unknown]: its your friends isnt it

there was no way you could reply to that decently, so you didn’t, staring at the screen in frustration with your friends and him and mainly yourself. you wanted to say something, you really did, but you had no idea what. tell him you were sorry? tell him to leave you alone? tell him that sometimes life just sucked and you had to deal with it? none of that would’ve been a good reply, and in all honesty you also didn’t want to have to deal with the emotional turmoil it would inevitably bring.

you didn’t notice that you’d spaced out and your phone had locked itself until it buzzed in your hand again, another message from the unknown number you now knew to be mingi. it just read ‘got it’ and you felt awful, scared that you’d hurt or upset one of the only people in forever that had shown genuine care for you. but of course you’d had to mess it up.

//

the next day came and you still felt bad, somewhat fearful as well. your friend group’s chat had returned to the usual topics, but you still weren’t sure how they’d react to you when they saw you again. you were hellbent on acting as usual, hoping that if you acted like nothing happened they would as well, and it was somewhat successful, getting weird stares every now and then, but no more comments than usual. you wouldn’t let yourself relax just yet, but this was a good sign, at least.

but then came lunch. you tried to act casual, not wanting to let on to the fact that you were horrified that one of the boys would shout out for you at any moment. your eyes darted around aimlessly, mainly looking for a certain giant sporting bright red hair, simply because he was easiest to spot out of the group you’d spent saturday night with. when you still hadn’t spotted him when you sat down to eat with your friends your shoulders relaxed, but it had been a mistake to think that they’d forgotten about you.

you hadn’t noticed that yunho was on his way towards you until he was standing right there, having moved surprisingly inconspicuously for someone his height. but there he was, staring down at you with an expression you couldn’t judge. you tried to avoid his eyes, feeling so incredibly guilty for ignoring him when he and his friends had been your saviour when you needed one, but you couldn’t help it. even now you could feel your friends’ angry stares on you, when you hadn’t even acknowledged the boy’s presence.

“y/n”, yunho suddenly spoke up. you couldn’t help but look up at him at that, knowing it was a mistake, but your head moved by itself. and he noticed, a small smile appearing on his face now. he nodded his head as a sign that he wanted to talk to you with a little more privacy, and you knew that if you didn’t go with him he’d try to sort whatever he wanted to sort here, in front of your friends, which would be way worse than leaving with him for maybe two minutes and returning, convincing them that you told him never to come up to you again. so you got up, but before you could actually go to a more private area he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. you hit his back in a desperate attempt to let you down, but deep down you knew that your punches wouldn’t affect him in any way. so you gave up, hanging like a sack of potatoes, feeling everyone’s curious stares on you.

he first let you down at their table, hongjoong scolding him that a less dramatic approach would’ve done the job as well. wooyoung and yeosang were laughing while the others looked at you curiously, and you were still deciding whether or not to kill yunho right there.

that decision was made for you when mingi spoke up.

“you told me you’d see me at lunch.” you couldn’t quite decipher his tone, whether he was angry or disappointed or hurt, but you knew it wasn’t a positive emotion you heard in his voice. you hated that you were the reason for his upset, but you also hated that your decision about how to deal with the dilemma you were in had been made for you, by people that knew nothing about your situation. you weren’t them, you didn’t have a support system, you didn’t have the option to choose who you were friends with, you didn’t have any of the things that were a given for everyone else. you had to take what you got and make do with it, and they’d just made that significantly harder for you.

“i told you i couldn’t”, you replied, your own voice a mixture of sadness and anger. you wanted to be able to, really, but it wasn’t something you could change. and the fact that he’d seen how your friends had reacted to you doing something they didn’t like and still didn’t stop this, maybe even actively encouraged this, made you angry, even though maybe it shouldn’t. he hadn’t had any ill intentions, but that didn’t really matter to you when you knew he wouldn’t be affected at all by whatever happened as a reaction to this. that he - they - had started a battle you’d have to fight.

no one said anything to that and you thought the conversation was over, that they’d realised that you wouldn’t be able to join their friend group or talk to them at all unless necessary, so you turned around, managing to take a single step before someone grabbed your wrist. you turned around again in surprise and saw that it was seonghwa, whom you’d assumed to be kind and soft-spoken, definitely not the kind to do this. but here you were, being kept from leaving by his hand around your wrist. it was mingi who spoke, though.

“they’re not being nice to you. you deserve better.” and you knew, you knew all that, you knew everything he could tell you to convince you that they weren’t the right friends for you, but that didn’t change anything. and you’d had enough hurt, enough mistreatment in your life to want to avoid it at all costs now. if that meant giving up a bit of your happiness but getting to keep your peace of mind that was a price you were more than willing to pay. but the boy looking at you with softness in his eyes didn’t seem to be willing to have you pay that price.

“sit down.” seonghwa had let go of your arm now, moving a little so that you’d fit next to him. it wasn’t an order, more of a suggestion, but you were too tired, too exhausted to potentially risk a discussion you might not be able to win, so you just complied, resting your head in your palms. and because of that the boys at first didn’t even notice that you didn’t have your food, or any of your things, since it didn’t seem like you wanted to eat anyway.

it was san that noticed, already having finished inhaling his meal when you hadn’t even started yours. the surprise at that was what made him realise that there was no meal for you to finish.

“yunho!”, he suddenly yelled out, making everyone’s heads snap up, even yours. “you forgot y/n’s things when you kidnapped her!” at that realisation, panic made its way onto your face. you had no idea what state your things would be in by the time you’d reach them. your phone, your wallet, all your notes were in your bag, and you’d just left it with your friends that without a doubt were plotting how to ruin your life by now. you jolted up and towards the table they’d been sitting at, but when you saw they’d already left your panic only increased. your bag was still there, carelessly kicked underneath the table when you’d been sitting with the others, but you had no idea what the insides would look like. you probably looked like a maniac all but ripping it open, fumbling with the zipper with shaking hands and ransacking your bag to make sure you still had everything you needed, checking your wallet and phone to see just how fucked you were. everything was still in order, though; it seemed like they’d forgotten about your bag, in part thanks to you having kicked it out of sight thoughtlessly. you almost cried at the relief, and mingi, who’d followed you after your sudden exit to make sure you were okay, wasn’t really sure what to do. he kneeled down next to where you were still crouching on the floor, staring at your bag and its content as if it were the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen, and just looked at you, waiting for you to realise he was there as well.

when after a while (was it seconds? minutes? it felt too long for mingi) you still seemed to not have noticed his presence he carefully tapped your leg, making sure his hand was visible before he actually touched you. you seemed so spaced out that he was pretty certain any sudden touch or noise would scare you to no end. but even though he was so careful not to be too sudden your head still shot up with a force that made him fear you’d break your neck; you’d half expected one of your friends to be the one touching you, so your anxious reaction was at least in part caused by that. but when you saw that it was only him you relaxed a little, though your heartbeat still would not return to normal.

“you okay?”, he asked you once it seemed like you wouldn’t drop dead from shock or kill him if he said anything, worry apparent in his voice, and you could understand him, really - this wasn’t a regular reaction to forgetting your bag with your friends. but you didn’t have regular friends either, so it evened out.

“i guess.” you grabbed your bag and got up, wanting nothing more than to get out of that awkward situation, and the tall boy followed suit.

“wanna join us for the rest of lunch?” he expected you to say no. you knew that you should say no. and a look at where you’d sat at the table confirmed that you didn’t even have anything to eat anymore - they’d probably thrown it away as soon as you left. so there was no reason to go, there was no reason to make yourself even more of a target. but maybe that was why you ended up saying yes. you’d already become a target, so now you might as well spend time with them, you didn’t really have anything to lose anymore. and the smile he gave you when you agreed to join them made you think that it’d maybe be worth it, even.

the others looked at you in surprise when you returned to their table, mingi having a triumphant look on his face. they didn’t say anything, though, scared of putting you off and causing another somewhat-freak out like the one earlier. of course, to them it didn’t make sense, they had no idea just what your friends could do. they’d never been their victim, and they’d never been around to see what their victims had to deal with. but you knew. and the thought of it almost sent you into a panic attack, so you let yourself fall onto the bench (a loud ‘thud’ could be heard, so you really hadn’t been gentle with yourself) and put your head on the table, ignoring how greasy it probably was, your focus being on stopping your breath from speeding up before it was too late. you couldn’t see the looks they gave each other, but you could imagine them. you were a mess, a scared, traumatised mess, and that less than 48 hours after first having met them. you honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they told you to go sit somewhere else, or got up and left themselves. but they were still there when you lifted your head again, looking at you worriedly, but without judgment.

mingi was the first to speak, having put the pieces together by now.

“they’re that bad?” you knew whom he meant. he’d seen the message, he’d been the one to figure out they didn’t want you to talk to them, he’d seen the way you’d rummaged your bag, so it wasn’t hard for him to figure out what, or rather whom, you were scared of. yet he couldn’t imagine why you were that scared of people supposed to be your friends.

“worse.” you tried to mask your fear with a bitter tone, but it didn’t exactly work. the boys didn’t exactly know how to react to that, trying desperately to come up with a way to lighten the mood.

“you have eight bodyguards now.” you weren’t the only one surprised when it was jongho that spoke up, but the others were quick to agree, telling you that the girls had to get past them first. ‘mainly jongho, to be fair’, as wooyoung elaborated. and while you still weren’t feeling good about it, you were feeling better now, the fearful expression replaced by a smile. san, not wanting to waste that chance, asked you if he could re-add you to ‘hyung hate club’, and you couldn’t resist the puppy eyes he gave you, so you agreed. as soon as he did so mingi got his phone out, resending the message he’d sent when he’d brought you home. ‘pyjama party this weekend n y/ns still coming’. your reply was an emoji rolling its eyes, but the smile hadn’t left your face. then you saved his number, asking the others to send a message with their name so you could know who was who.

“they’ll never shut up”, hongjoong informed you casually as he sent his name, and while you knew he was telling you, indirectly, that from this moment on you would never be able to have a moment of peace and quiet and no notifications you were happy about this fact, because it meant that at least you wouldn’t be lonely.

“i have my ways.” you grinned at him as you said that, then you went to save all the numbers in your phone. doing so brought your attention to the time, and you noticed that it was time to leave for class, your happy expression immediately disappearing as you realised that they wouldn’t be around to protect you during class. And class was the place you couldn’t escape from; you needed the credits, and part of you also didn’t want to have to give up on something that always brought you joy just because you had to fear you wouldn’t be left alone.

“i need to go.” your expression didn’t go unnoticed, and seonghwa and yeosang, who had this period off, told you they’d be right there if something happened, you just had to send a message. they also insisted on bringing you to your class, and while you did feel a little like a child that needs their parents to bring them everywhere because they’re scared by themselves you also really appreciated it. so you took off with your two bodyguards, waving at the others as they left for their own classes.

“it’ll be fine”, yeosang said after a couple hundred metres during which neither of you had said anything, and you looked at him with doubt apparent in your eyes.

“it will”, seonghwa stated, a lot more sure about it than you were. “and if not, you know we’ll be right there.” that only did little to reassure you, but you had no choice either way.

you reached your classroom way too fast, and you could feel your breath speed up as soon as you walked towards the door, hesitating. maybe you should just drop out of uni and become a shepherd in a secluded village somewhere in a strange country in europe. maybe that was a better plan. but the choice was made for you as one of your now ex-friends waved towards you, a cheery expression on her face that would have fooled you, had you not seen that same expression on her face countless times before, knowing that it meant nothing but danger. but it was too late to turn around now, so all you could do was pretend you didn’t know what you were about to face.

“hey!” your tone was at least as fake as her expression as you greeted her back. then you went to your seat, and for the first half of class things actually went okay. you were tense, you were stressed, you were scared, but nothing happened. but then the teacher told you that it was time to do group work now, and things went downhill. you were grouped by how you were seating, which included you, one of the girls, and two classmates you barely ever talked to, whose names you didn’t even know, but whom you had nothing against, at least. but they would soon have something against you.

as you were working, one of them had her laptop out to take notes and prepare a presentation, as was the task. and that gave your ex-friend an idea. it was an expensive laptop, and you, as always, had a cup of water on the table, fairly close to the middle so it wouldn’t be able to drop by itself. it wouldn’t have to drop by itself, though. first, the girl next to you dropped her pen and kicked it over to the other two, pretending to have done so in an attempt to retrieve it and be able to pick it up.

“i’m sorry, i dropped my pen! can you maybe pick it up, i can’t reach it.” an apologetic smile was sent their way, as if to say ‘sorry for the hassle’. both girls opposite you ducked at the same time, trying to see where the pen was and who would be able to pick it up more easily. that was what she’d planned, though; as soon as they were no longer able to see you, she spilled your water. over the laptop that was still on the table. and as if that wasn’t enough, she got up, yelling your name loudly, asking you why you’d done that. everyone was looking at you by now, and the girl whose laptop had been sacrificed quickly tried to dry it off with her sleeve, asking for tissues, trying to save it. no use, it seemed like it had broken right away. and everyone thought it was you. that you’d broken the laptop on purpose.

“she was writing her thesis, y/n! i knew you were jealous, but i didn’t think you’d go that far!” you just stared at the scene around you wide-eyed, not even fully realising that this was real. by now even the teacher had come to look at what exactly was going on, and your lack of self defense was a seemingly obvious sign of you actually being the culprit.

“i think you should leave the class now. and you will have to replace the laptop.” all you could do was stare at who used to be your friend, unable to believe that she would do this to you. you hadn’t even actually done anything, and you’d been friends with these girls for almost a year now, yet she’d had no hesitation to ruin not only your reputation but also you financially. she was fully aware that you were barely scraping by. she was fully aware that you would never be able to replace the laptop. she knew all that. and she still did it, just because you’d dared to talk to someone they’d called dibs on. you couldn’t believe it.

//

you didn’t really remember how you’d left the class, and were surprised to find that you’d remembered to pack all your things back into your bag, that you hadn’t forgotten anything. you’d just left, going who even knew where, dropping on the floor when your legs didn’t want to carry you anymore, and starting to cry. and you stayed there, crying, losing all feeling for how much time had passed. this had been your last class of the day, so you had nowhere to be, and you didn’t want to be anywhere, either. you wanted to vanish. you wanted to die, in all honesty. if it continued like this your only choice was dropping out, basically having wasted the past year and all the work and money you’d put into your studies.

you were so caught up in your crying that you hadn’t noticed your phone buzzing with message after message, first paying attention to it when someone called you. it was seonghwa, who’d been there to pick you up after class only to see that you weren’t there. you didn’t feel like picking up, so you pressed the red button through your tears. he tried again, with the same result, and first when your phone started buzzing continuously with new messages you took a look at the group chat. now you found out why they were calling you - they’d tried to get you after class, but you weren’t there, and now you’d neither read their messages nor picked up their calls, so they all were quite worried at this point. you felt sorry about that, so you decided to send a message saying ‘sorry for worrying you’, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say that you were fine. it seemed like any sign of you being alive was already a success, though, lots of relieved messages flooding the chat. you hoped that maybe they wouldn’t ask what happened, but of course they did.

[hongjoong]: what happened?

[y/n]: i dont want to talk abt it

the chat was quiet after that, no one really knowing what to say. but, again, mingi sent you a private message.

[mingi]: where are you???

you didn’t want to explain anything and you didn’t want to pretend you were fine, so you just sent him your location, his ‘ill be right there’ coming just a few seconds after you’d sent your message. you were somewhat relieved that you wouldn’t have to be alone right now, but you also dreaded having to explain what happened. for now, though, you should probably focus on looking a little more like a person and a little less like you’d just spent the past hour crying. even though you had it didn’t have to be obvious like that, so you tried to clean off the streaks of ruined makeup on your cheeks, using your phone as a makeshift mirror. once you were done you tilted your head to see if there was anything you’d missed, but it was okay. it wasn’t good, but it was the best you could do right now. then, you waited.

you’d put in your headphones after roughly two minutes of waiting, way too nervous at every single sound that surrounded you, but that also made you miss mingi shouting your name once he’d arrived, and the sudden appearance of his large frame in your field of vision did surprise you quite some, flinching visibly before you took out your headphones and looked up at him, trying to smile but failing miserably. and he immediately caught on, sitting down next to where you were sitting on the floor and looking at you silently for a moment.

“do you want a hug?” he didn’t know what else to offer, but he wanted to let you know that he was there for you, and you willingly accepted the offer. he wrapped his arms around you then, pulling you a little closer so you could rest your head on his shoulder, and then you continued to sit in silence. it was strangely comforting, having someone there for you even when they had no idea what you were even upset about, offering you their presence and leaving the choice of whether or not you wanted to tell to you. you didn’t want to have to leave this situation, the safety you felt when embraced by mingi, who was much taller than you and who made you feel like, even just by virtue of his height, he could protect you. but you had to, you knew you did, you couldn’t spend all day wherever you were now.

“we should go home.” mingi hummed in response, removing his arms from where they were wrapped around you, and the two of you got up. he looked at you hesitantly - you could tell he wanted to say or ask something, so you cocked your head, encouraging him this way to tell you whatever was on his mind.

“they’re all worried, so i was wondering… i told them i’m going to meet you, but i think they’d feel better if they could see for themselves that you’re in one piece.” you nodded, both as a sign of understanding and to show that it was fine with you to meet them before you went home. he nodded as well, slowly starting to walk and somewhat unsure if you’d actually follow him, but you did.

you walked in silence until you reached the train station, where he bought the ticket for you again. you looked at him, about to protest, but when he told you it was his treat again you just nodded, not having the energy to argue and also glad that you could save the money seeing how very soon you’d need every single won. after that, you were silent again, sitting next to each other with your head on his shoulder, which you’d have been embarrassed and shy about if you weren’t so exhausted. you were exhausted, though, and it took all your energy to not fall asleep on him - but at least you succeeded with that, your eyes still somewhat open when he told you you had to get off at the next stop. you sat up, then, immediately missing the warmth and comfort of him so close to you. the boys made you feel weirdly safe, and you couldn’t tell why it was - maybe it was just the unusual feeling of having friends that cared about you even when you had nothing to offer, but no matter what it was, it was nice.

another thing that was nice was that mingi didn’t make you talk, didn’t even try. he’d talk, but he didn’t mind if you didn’t reply. he’d just resume his story, letting you know that he wasn’t ignoring you but that he didn’t expect anything from you. and with this behaviour you slowly started to feel better, feeling ready to tell what had happened by the point you reached the boys’ place.

“mingi?” it seemed like they’d been waiting for him to come home, shouting his name as soon as he’d closed the door behind you.

“and y/n!”, he replied, entering the living room with you in tow. you were somewhat surprised to find them all already gathered there, but mingi didn’t seem to be. he just plopped down on the couch, patting the space next to him to signal you to sit down as well. so you did, staring at your hands as soon as you’d sat down, unsure how to start. and they were unsure as well, unsure if they should ask you or wait until you started talking by yourself.

“i…”, you started, but then stopped again. this was hard.

“i’m sorry for not taking your calls”, was how you decided on starting. “i just- i couldn’t. everything was so much.” and even though you hadn’t even started actually explaining yet a small sob already escaped from your lips, and you hid your face in shame. you looked up again though when you felt a hand on your knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze, and looked at the boy attached to the hand - mingi. he looked at you with soft, encouraging eyes, and you took a few slow breaths before you started talking again.

“they hate me. in class, one of them spilled water on my classmate’s laptop and broke it, and then she said it was me, that i did it because i was jealous of that classmate’s good grades.” you tried very hard to stay calm while telling, not wanting to break down crying before you even finished explaining why you’d ignored them, why you’d run away from class without telling anyone where you were.

“and everyone believed her because no one saw and she doesn’t have a reason to do it but the way she framed it i do, and now the girl is so angry because she was writing her thesis and i think it’s gone now and also the laptop is broken and i have to replace it and i just… i can’t afford that and i don’t know what to do and- ouch!” mingi’s hand had remained on your knee while you spoke, but the more you elaborated the tighter his grip got, seemingly without him noticing, because when he heard you yelp he immediately took away his hand and apologised profoundly for having hurt you.

“i’m just so fucking angry that she’d do that”, he explained. “you literally haven’t done anything!” and he wasn’t the only angry one, either, all the boys visibly fuming.

“but i can’t do anything about it”, you said, sounding defeated, “but i’m so scared that i’ll be kicked out of the course because i need it for my degree and if i get kicked out due to gross misbehaviour, even when it wasn’t actually me, i’ll lose my scholarship and then i won’t be able to continue studying and i won’t have a degree either and no one will hire me and i’ll end up homeless and in debt and… and…” you were unable to continue, your sobs having completely taken over at this point. you felt pathetic for breaking down like this, but your entire future was on the line just because you’d chosen to pick your friends yourself rather than waiting for approval. it was unfair, and it was horrible, and it reinforced the belief in you that if you didn’t do what others told you to do, the consequences would be horrible.

mingi wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his chest - it seemed like out of the eight boys he was the one who’d taken on the role of your protector now, always taking care of you like this, ever since you first met. the others were there as well, of course, but they were more of a silent support as mingi actually pulled you in, and it was okay that way. it worked that way, his deep voice and careful touch being able to calm you down enough that you were able to breathe somewhat regularly again.

“i want to go home now”, you said once the worst was over. you were still sniffling, but you didn’t care. you wanted to go back to your bed, you wanted to hug the teddy bear that you’d owned since you were born, you wanted the comfort of your own home. being here with them was nice, and it had helped you calm down, but your own home, your own bed, was still something different. and it seemed like they could understand that wish to be in a familiar environment, because they just nodded.

“i’ll bring you.” the way he’d said it it didn’t sound like you had a choice, but it was okay. the tall boy had been there for you all afternoon, and he (and the others too, really) would probably feel better if he knew you were home safe and sound. you hummed in response which he correctly interpreted as your okay, because he got up with you and followed you to the door where you stopped to say goodbye and thank them for listening. then you left, the red-haired giant following suit silently.

the train station wasn’t far away, as you knew by now, and the two of you walked next to each other in silence. once there, he paid for your ticket again without a second thought, and while you did feel guilty about it you also were glad he did so. your head rested on his shoulder again during the train ride, something you didn’t even think about anymore; being close to him felt natural, maybe due to the fact that there’d been a lot of good reasons to be close to him in the roughly three days you’d known each other, maybe because he didn’t seem to register it as something noteworthy either.

you didn’t talk during the trip, the first time either of you said anything being when you told him, once you’d gotten off the train, that you were glad he’d brought you, and tried to say goodbye to him unsuccessfully because he told you he’d walk you home unless you’d report him for stalking if he did so. you shook your head, smiling slightly, and started walking. it was once more him who kept the (so far nonexistent) conversation alive, commenting on anything with a child-like wonder in his voice. it sounded like he’d never seen a tree before, or a street, or a house - everything seemed to surprise and somewhat excite him, and in all honesty you thought it was sweet. he managed to distract until you reached your apartment this way, but he noticed the way you tensed up as you unlocked the door. a day ago he’d have thought your fear was an overreaction, and maybe its intensity was, but after what had happened today he was fairly certain it was justified.

“do you want me to go in first?”, he asked as you wouldn’t even fully open the door, obviously scared of what would expect you. you nodded and moved to the side, giving him the option to slip inside. and a couple seconds later he was in front of you again, opening the door widely and telling you that everything was okay. first then did you relax even slightly, entering with careful steps as if you were expecting to jump out of the shadows and murder you. mingi was right, your apartment was fine, but you weren’t. you hated this, hated that you didn’t even feel safe in your own home, and that there was nothing you could do about that.

mingi soon caught on to the fact that even though everything was fine you didn’t seem relaxed at all, looking around like a rabbit expecting the fox to jump out any moment and devour it. and it was your scared expression that made the words leave his mouth before he could stop himself.

“do you want me to stay the night?” you looked at him surprised, both at his words and at the fact that he was still there - you’d forgotten about him in your worry.

“you don’t have to.” you didn’t want to be even more of a bother. you didn’t want him to get annoyed at your scaredy cat-behaviour.

“but do you want me to?”

“you don’t have anything here.” really, you were just trying to come up with excuses for not directly answering his question, because the answer would have been a ‘yes’. yes, you did want him to stay the night, but you didn’t want him to do so because he felt like he had to.

“that’s fine. it’s just a night, and i only have late classes tomorrow. do you want me to?”

you couldn’t stand to look at him as you nodded, feeling weak and vulnerable and like a burden, but he just said ‘okay’, then got out his phone and started typing.

“i’m just letting them know”, he explained when he saw your questioning expression, and you nodded again. you felt slow, tired, and you just wanted to sleep. and yet once more he seemed to know exactly what you were thinking.

“you should go to bed”, he told you softly, “i’ll be right here.”

“you need sleep too!” it was first then you realised that you couldn’t offer him the luxury of choosing his bed for the night, that you couldn’t even offer him the luxury of having anything bigger than a single-person bed. but he didn’t seem to care, nodding.

“just get ready. i’ll wait.” and because you were way too tired to argue about anything at all, you just grabbed your pyjamas from your bed and left for the bathroom to get changed. you got into your pyjamas and wiped the worst stains off your face with a wet washcloth, but didn’t have the energy for anything else. this would have to do for today.

mingi was waiting for you on the floor when you got back, jacket, shirt and shoes huddled together next to him. maybe usually you’d have been a little flushed at him being shirtless, but in this moment all that mattered was getting into bed and sleeping. so you crawled underneath your blanket, moving as close to the wall as possible so he’d be able to still comfortably fit in next to you. he joined, pulling the blanket to cover both of you, and as soon as he’d done so you told him goodnight, him replying with a ‘goodnight’ of his own. he was fairly certain you’d fall asleep right away by how exhausted you seemed, but he found himself surprised when after roughly half an hour you were still tossing and turning.

“you okay?” he didn’t know if this was normal for you or something to be worried about, but he wanted to be sure you weren’t suffering silently just because you didn’t want to bother him.

“tell me something nice”, was what you replied instead of answering his question.

“what do you want to hear?”

“i don’t care. something happy.”

he thought for a moment before he started telling you about his seventh birthday, trying to remember as many details as possible so he’d have something to tell until you’d fallen asleep. his low, calm voice calmed your anxious heartbeat a little, and you stopped shifting so much. you did, however, scoot closer to him subconsciously, your back soon pressed against his chest as you sought out his comforting presence, his warmth. he wasn’t sure if you’d done it on purpose, so he didn’t immediately wrap his arm around you, softly putting his fingertips onto your waist first to wait for your reaction, to see if you’d shy away from his touch. but you did the opposite, grabbing his hand and pressing it close to your chest as if it was a lifeline keeping you from drowning. he just resumed his story, not commenting on it, and you were glad he didn’t. and cuddled up like that his deep, steady voice managed to lull you to sleep.

[staylovehearts]

A Tree in a Forest

Lee Minho x Reader

Word Count ~ 3.7 k

Summary: Sometimes you can’t see the tree from the woods. 

Tags: childhood friends, friends to lovers, slight angst, but also really cheesy, weird tree metaphors but I promise it’s romantic, or at least I hope it is

"Let go of me, the people are starting to look."

With a pout, you let go of Minho's elbow that you have been holding onto. Actually, you had meant to hook arms, walk arm in arm like an old couple. Or close friends who are goofing around together. But Minho keeps his arm pressed tightly to his side and you have done your best to wriggle at least three fingers in between. But now he's looking at you with this kind of irritated glance. He's even stopped walking. The only thing that's missing is for him to place his other hand on his hip and use his height to tower over you to make you feel like you are a kid being scolded.

"Since when do you care about people looking at you? You love attention. Besides, you always get super clingy with your friends, why do you never let me be close to you?" You cross your arms in front of your chest while speaking. Half because you are not sure what to do with your hand now that you had to remove your fingers from Minho's elbow. You really don't understand why he is always making such a fuss about it. There is nothing wrong with friends holding hands or hooking arms or any of that. Everyone is doing it. And Minho and you have been friends for quite a while now. Actually, you basically grew up together. He lives down the street, when you were younger you used to sit in the sandbox of the playground around the corner, defending the castles you built together from all the other kids trying to get a chance of playing there as well until your parents pulled you out and scolded you. But the next day you'd do it again. You two have been in cahoots for all of your youth. Exploring the forests and fields around town, building secret hideouts in the woods and coming home with scrapped knees. You went to school together. Have even been in the same classes for most of it. Minho and you have always been close. And he used to not mind being touchy-feely with you. But somehow things have changed sometime during high school. Before that, you always used to walk to and from school together. Him waiting up in the morning, standing on your porch and greeting your mother before joking about how you are always making him late. He stopped. Had to go earlier because of clubs and stuff. He also stopped walking home with you. Meeting with friends or staying later for dance practice. It's fine. You do have other friends as well. It's just how things go. But still... something about the distance he's been putting up makes you upset. And the harder he tries to slip away, the more you want to get close to him again.

"It's different when they do it. They are not annoying and clingy like you. Besides, you can't even compare that. With you it's a whole different story", Minho finally answers your question. It feels like you have been staring each other down in the middle of this crowded shopping mall for at least half a minute.

"Different how?", you ask. "How am I different?"

Minho rolls his eyes at you, as if you are stupid for even asking such a question, but he's also not really providing you with an answer. In fact, he seems to be stalling for time. The stance of his body shifts. The angry posture had given him a confident, overpowering look, but now he's unsure. You can read him pretty well most of the time, so it's easy for you to tell that he'd rather not start arguing with you right now.

"You're just... you", he finally mutters. It's so vague that it could mean anything and nothing.

"What's that even supposed to mean?", you demand, but Minho is running away from the question. Literally. He has started walking again before you could even get into complaining properly. You try your best to catch up with him again, for a moment you consider reaching for his arm again. Just to tease him. But then you stop yourself halfway there and just settle for walking next to him.

"Well, either way, let's go eat something. I'm starving"

                                                                ~

"Hey darling, you back already? I thought you were out with Minho?", your mother greets when you walk inside. She's standing in the kitchen, messing around in maybe three different pots and pans at the same time. The air is warm and filled with the smell of different spices and other ingredients.

"He had... a thing later. I think. He didn't really give me the specifics, just told me that he had to leave early. So I'm home already."

Your mother turns around to look at you over her shoulder, not even putting down her spatula or stepping away from the stove. But she gives you this kind of concerned mother look.

"That's odd", she just says, before completely turning back around to stir some vegetables in a pan. Something about the way she says it gives you a feeling that she is implying more than she is saying. But you're mother has always been like that. Giving you that know it all mothery attitude and yet refusing to really talk wisdom until you finally give in and come to her to ask what she means by that. But you're not really in the mood for talking right now.

"Do you want me to set the table?", you ask instead. Without even turning around your mother replies: "Yes, please. You're lucky I made a little extra. I wanted to leave it on the stovetop so you could eat it later when you get here. But now that you're here already you might as well eat with the family."

"Yeah, I'll get right to it."

And that's that. But you have a feeling this conversation is only postponed.

                                                               ~

to Dumbass Catboy: sooooo what do you wanna do for movie night this weekend? i'll take care of snax if you bring the dvd, or do you wanna do netflix?? [sent: 17:35; seen 5 minutes ago]

You stare at your phone in anticipation. Movie night is a staple for you and Minho. When you were younger you used to do when every weekend. But as school progressed and homework started piling up you started reducing the frequency. Every second week and then once a month. But it's a date circled in your calender. Marked with a bright red pen. And you make sure to send him reminders about it at least a week in advance. Minho and you have never skipped a movie night. Not even that one time you came down with a really bad stomach bug. You did switch to watching the movie together over a skype conversation though. Because your mother told you not to leave the house. Not that you had felt like that. You still clearly remember how you paused the movie in the middle of a scene, stood up straight and declared "I'm going to puke my guts out" before rushing out of your room and into the bathroom. You remember Minho laughing and teasing and calling your gross when you stumbled back into your room, face pale but cheeks glowing red, hair messy and sweaty bangs sticking to your forehead. But you continued watching the movie once you had settled yourself back into bed. Movie night has never been skipped.

[Dumbass Catboy is typing]

The three dots move, stop, disappear, show up again. Then, finally, after what seems like hours of waiting – well, just about one hour actually – there is finally an answer. But you sure don't like what you are seeing.

Dumbass Catboy: sry, can't make it, got other plans [sent: 18:27]

He's ditching your movie night? Not even telling you what for? No excuse. Just other plans? What other plans could be more important than watching movies with your bestie? It's a tradition. A ritual. You've been doing movie nights for years. And he's just ditching you? Not even an excuse. You throw your phone across the room, not even bothering with a reply. This is stupid. Outrageous. This is... actually so hurtful.

What happened?

Do people just drift apart like that? Is that just how it goes? Friends come and go and life goes on. But if that's just how it goes then why does it hurt so much? Is it normal that it stings so much, that it makes your chest feel so tight that you almost can't breathe anymore? Hands shaking, all of you shaking, shivering, struggling for air, choking out sobs, tears stinging in your eyes?

Why does it hurt so much?

Just then you hear a gentle knock on your door. You try to quickly clean the tears that have by now welled over and dripped from your chin onto the mattress away with your sleeve. Won't fix the puffy eyes, but the light is dimmed, so maybe it's alright.

"Come in", you croak. Voice hoarse and strangled. Damn. The door opens slowly and your mother comes inside, carrying a basket of freshly washed and folded laundry that she puts down. Usually, she'd leave right after that, but this time she stops in the doorframe to look at you. You try your hardest to avoid her gaze.

"Are you alright?", she asks and that's really all it takes for you to break down completely.

"I think Minho hates me now", you choke out between strangled sobs.

"Oh, darling", your mother hurries over to sit down next to you without hesitation. Gently she places a hand on your shoulder and you curl yourself into her side like you used to do as a child, hiding from strangers at family gatherings and the such. She gently pets your hair while she waits for your sobbing and shaking to calm down again before she begins her interrogation.

"Did you two have a fight?", she finally asks, after you have wiped your face with your sleeves a couple of times and sat up straight again. You shake your head because you still don't trust your voice to be stable, But your mother waits patiently for you to explain more. So you finally give in.

"He cancelled movie night. Didn't even give me a reason. He just said that he has other plans. And he's been so weird and distant lately. Like he doesn't want to spend time anymore and when we're out together he always makes me walk like an arm's length away from him. And when I ask him about it he's so weird. He won't even explain himself. I just don't understand why he's being like this now? I thought we were friends. But it's all changing now and I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him. I l-", you interrupt yourself there, but the knowing glance your mother is giving you is telling you that she was just waiting for that emotional outburst. I love him so much is what you meant to say. You didn't even realise you meant it until now.

"You know, boys can be really stupid sometimes. I'm sure he doesn't hate you. Maybe he just needs space to figure something out. I know you two have always been close, but things change when you get older. That's just how it is. You can't stay in your little sandcastle forever."

"But what if I don't want things to change?"

"Oh, darling, no one wants for things to change. But the world just keeps turning, and either you learn to deal with change or you get left behind. It's cruel, but life can be like that sometimes."

                                                               ~

"Hey, sorry about last weekend, I was... busy."

You recognise the voice from behind without turning to look. You don't. You allow him to catch up to you but you don't slow down.

"It's okay", you say. Snappy. Short words. Fired like bullets out of your mouth. You don't turn, but you notice him flinch a little out of the corner of your eye. Minho's lips have always formed into a sort of natural pout, but it becomes even more prominent when he is actually upset about something. Such full lips. So soft, so plush.

"Maybe we could make up for it?", he offers. He's walking fast to keep up with you. Maybe you did add a little more speed to your step. You're basically powerwalking down the street. What is he even doing here? Did he have to be out just now when you wanted to go to the store?

"Maybe", you say. And with that, you're basically done with the conversation. But Minho doesn't seem to be willing to let you go so easily.

"Are you also going to the store? Want me to help you carry that?" He points to the bag around your wrist. Your mother gave it to you even though you insisted you'd be able to carry the few things she wanted without any help.

"It's empty. I think I can handle that myself", you explain. Still not even bothering to look at your friend. Can you even call him that right now? Friend feels like such a loaded word. Maybe he stopped being your friend when he started moving into crush territory. You wonder what territory you are in from his perspective right now? Maybe you're nothing. And being nothing only really hurts when you used to be something.

"Don't you wanna try grabbing me today?", he asks, still not able or willing to read the mood.

"Thought you didn't want me to."

"Yeah, but since when has me telling you what to do ever stopped you from getting your will either way, remember when we-"

"Hey, I'm sorry, but I got this kinda important errand to run", you cut him off in the middle of a sentence. You're not in the mood for childhood memories and sharing stories that you have told each other a dozen times already.

"Sure, maybe we can talk..."

You're out of reach before he can get that later out.

                                                               ~

Dumbass Catboy: hey [sent: 22:34]

Dumbass Catboy: i was wondering if we could talk [sent: 22:35]

Dumbass Catboy: look, I know I kinda fucked up and I'm really sorry [sent: 22:36]

Dumbass Catboy: please, I know you are getting these, can you just talk to me please? [sent: 22:47]

You look at your phone, not quite sure what to do. You thought getting some distance yourself would make it easier to deal with your newly realised feelings. But it seems that now, that you have slipped away to finally grant Minho the space he has been demanding he doesn't want it anymore. Suddenly he wants to be close. Texting you, asking to hang out, showing up out of nowhere when you are walking down the street to come up and talk to you. Yesterday he tried to wrap an arm around your shoulder and you just bolted. It hurts. Wanting but not being wanted. Then trying to get the distance. Suddenly being wanted again. But if you cave in now, will he turn cold again?

to Dumbass Catboy: talk then [sent: 22:50; seen just now]

Okay, maybe you're being a little bit unreasonable. A little bit bitchy. But this is basically your first real heartbreak. He's your first real love. It makes sense to be upset, right?

Dumbass Catboi: I thought we could maybe talk in person? [sent: 22:52]

Dumbass Catboi: meet me at our secret place in ten? If that's alright [sent: 22:53]

You glance at the clock on your nightstand. As if the glowing red numbers would give you another time than that displayed on the phone in your hand. It's almost 11 pm.

You grab a coat and head out.

Minho is standing leaned against the trunk of an old oak, the light of his phone making his phone glow a ghastly pale white in the dark of the forest. He raises his head when he hears you step on a twig that snaps under your boots. The light draws weird shadows on his face and for maybe the first time in ages you are unable to tell what he is thinking. His face seems contorted by the light hitting it and you can't read him at all.

You stop roughly an arm's length away from him and wait for him to greet you. Or start explaining why he called you out here in the middle of the night. For him to say anything.

"You know isn't it weird that we are able to find this place so easily even though it's just some random spot in a forest that we made out to be our place ages ago? Like, there is nothing actually special about this tree, we just made it out to be special", Minho finally says after a moment of silence. It's not really what you expected. Well, not that you really expected anything out of this conversation. But you sure didn't think he would go on a rant about trees. But it suits him, talking some weird nonsense instead of getting to the point.

"So you called me out here in the middle of the night to talk about trees?"

"Yes, but also not really", Minho answers. "See, what I'm trying to get at is that you are like that tree. When you look around in a forest there are so many trees everywhere, you could hardly make out a single one. And they all kind of look the same. But once you stop and pick a single tree to be that special tree to you, it begins to stick out. And you start noticing all the weird little details. Like how the moss grows in weird shapes on it and how it leans a little bit to the side. And suddenly that one tree is just not some random tree in a forest. And you don't really notice it at first. It seems to be just that tree that you have picked out as a meeting spot. But when you stop to think about it, you realise that that tree has always been there. This tree saw us grow up. We climbed it when we were kids, we had picnics here and we talked for hours every night in summer. Even though it just looks like one of many trees, this tree is special to me. You are special to me."

Minho's little rant leaves you lost for words and you need a moment to comprehend that between all the talk about trees he just made something like a confession. But still, it's too unclear. To vague to actually tell what he is trying to say. He has put his phone away before he started talking. Now the weird shadows are replaced with pale moonlight painting his features soft, Making his sharp and angular jaw look almost smooth, yet the skin is shining like polished marble. And his lips, oh god his lips, have they always been this tempting?

"That's a really weird metaphor", you finally manage to whisper. There is no reason to lower your voice, but you can't get yourself to speak up. You feel like you are trapped in a giant bubble and once you move to fast or speak too loud it'll burst and this whole little moment of perfect honesty will be gone.

"I guess it is. But you know that saying? Not seeing the wood from the trees or something like that. I think this is like the opposite way around. I haven't been able to see that one tree that is special to me because of all the other ones around it. You know, hide a tree, use a forest. Is that a thing that people say? Ugh, sorry, I'm rambling." Minho reaches out. Hand on your shoulder. Pulls you closer. And arm's length is still just enough distance to reach out and touch someone if you want to. "Look, what I'm trying to say is that I really like you. I've liked you for a long time. And I've been scared of these feelings. So I thought if I just push you away I'd be able to move on. But then, when I really felt like I lost you, I couldn't take it. So I decided that it's better to lose you with at least trying to tell you how I feel than letting you go and never telling you. And now here I am. I like you. I really do. And I want to be with you. And I'm sorry that I have been such an idiot about it."

"You really have been an idiot", you mumble. You're standing closer to him now. Toes almost touching, his hand on your shoulder, yours uselessly hanging down next to your body. You reach out, wrap them around his neck, close the remaining bit of distance. Inhale. Everything about his body is so familiar. And yet it isn't. He smells the same, feels the same. But the bit of height difference hits different now. The way his heart is beating rapidly in his chest. This is new. These feelings are new and yet they are old. This tree is special and still, it is one of many. One that you picked. One that you made special. Because you saw it and you didn't let it go. Just like that little boy down the street who you first met when he was trying to pet a stray cat and you laughed when he started crying after it scratched him. But when he turned to look at you with tears in his big brown eyes, you rushed over to comfort him. And you never let him go again. Because he's special. To you he's special.

"I like you too", you finally return the confession. It feels like it took you both forever to get here. Then again, there is still so much time left. So many days to spend together, so many movie nights to be had. So much to do, it feels like no amount of time will ever be enough. Then again, maybe this moment alone is enough already. For now. And for Forever.

[gingrrfrog]

these nights (4)

word count: 5.6k :/ kinda long sry

warnings: angst

summary: jeno, yejin, and jaemin were a team. they told each other everything, they trusted each other. jaemin nor jeno would lie, right? right?

a/n: hi idk how many of u like this but since the c*ronavirus has me locked inside my house im just gonna write until this is over :/ hehe enjoy also here’s a masterlist I concocted just for timeline purposes :] 

After an hour of chatting, Jihyun finally decided that she was hungry. They both argued over who should cook, Jihyun’s reasoning being for coming over unannounced while Yejin’s reasoning was that Jihyun was the guest—and she would be a horrible host if she made her cook. The bickering ended instead with her calling her sous chef, Taeyong, secretly while Yejin was in the bathroom. Yejin begged, the last thing she wanted to be was a nuisance during but Jihyun only assured her by informing her that Taeyong lived in this same building, asking a small favor before ordering him to shut the restaurant down due to the snow outside.

“You really didn’t have to do that, Unnie. I really could’ve made us something to eat.”

“And I’m telling you that Taeyong owes me a few favors anyway! Plus, it’s not like he’s far from where you live and he lives right upstairs. I promise you it’s fine.”

Yejin sighed heavily, “you’re unbelievable.”

“Believe it or not, it’s not the first time I’ve heard that.”

Yejin could only laugh as they continued to talk. Yejin opted to sit on the floor criss-crossed as they talked about littler happenings in Jihyun’s pregnancy. Yejin looked at the coffee table while she spoke, noticing a few incriminating photos from the night before, haphazardly shoved under magazines.

Fuck you, Na Jaemin. She hissed to herself. After this, she was never letting Jaemin clean anything. It’s almost as if he planned this. Just then, Jihyun reached over to take the magazine after noticing Yejin’s attention was on the magazine.

“Is there something on the magazine? Oh pictures! Oh—pictures—“

Yejin could do nothing but watch in horror as Jihyun stared at the polaroid in her hands. It was almost like staring at a car crash, she wanted more than anything to look away, but the picture of Jeno’s dick in her hand almost demanded her attention.

“Holy shit, is this Jeno?”

Yejin blanched, her hands catching her hand in pure, unadulterated embarrassment. If she could call Jaemin right now she would scream his ear off, “I am so fucking sorry.”

“No it’s—“ Jihyun tried her best to stifle a laugh as she placed the polaroid back on the coffee table. “It’s…reassuring to know that Jaehyun and I aren’t the only one who do this.”

“But you and Jaehyun oppa don’t keep the photos stupidly hidden under a magazine,” Yejin groaned, her head still hiding in her hands. “I’m going to fucking kill Jaemin.”

“That’s very true. If anyone saw me naked Jaehyun would skin them alive from pure jealousy,” Jihyun failed to hold her giggles back any longer, pulling at Yejin’s arm. “Don’t be embarrassed! I’m not embarrassed! Shocked, maybe, but it’s healthy!”

“You have an amazing body—“ Jihyun mentioned, laughing harder when Yejin screamed out in pain, covering her ears from anymore bullying.

“I need to see your naked pictures now, then,” Yejin said out of nowhere. “There’s no way I can go through this embarrassment on my own.”

“First of all, I have nothing to embarrassed about. Secondly, Jaehyun has them under lock and key, I don’t even get to see them.”

Yejin blinked, “he keeps your photos under lock and key?”

“Ah, well, the disgusting ones are on an old phone, but there’s more to the old phone that made Jaehyun lock it up. It’s not just my asshole on display. However, if you want a conception story for this,” Jihyun pointed to her belly, “there’s an hour long video on that phone.”

“Oh, Jesus, gross,” Yejin meant to say internally, but it came out as a whisper as Jihyun threw a pillow at her.

“Gross?!”

“I don’t really want to think about Jaehyun oppa that way! It’s weird,” she mumbled. “As beautiful as you are together, he’s not my type.”

“What is your type then?” Jihyun asked, taking another pillow under her chin, “dopey eyed and nagging?”

Yejin snorted, “yeah, actually.”

“And you couldn’t find it in one so you gathered two?”

“Jaemin wasn’t planned, it just kind of happened.”

“I’ve heard that one,” Jihyun grinned, running her hand over her stomach, causing Yejin to laugh.

“I’m serious! I thought he hated me at first, Jaemin. He only glared at me for the first two weeks, but he had to get used to me. Jeno was the only person I knew in Korea when I got here, and I followed him almost everywhere. Jaemin had the key code to our apartment then, and I was always there when Jeno wasn’t, and he kind of had to settle for me until Jeno got home from wherever he was.”

“Jaemin has always been like that as a kid, especially if it was towards Jeno.” Jihyun took the time to reminisce of Jeno and Jaemin when they were younger, always offering fleeting touches whenever they were around or always searching for the others hand when they were far. “Jaemin is possessive, just like Jaehyun, but he likes to pretend he isn’t.”

“What about Jeno, then? What was he like as a kid?”

“You’re going to hate this, but Jeno was a normal kid. He played video games after school, he ate played outside with Jaemin or whatever friend he had at the time, and then he went home. There really isn’t a difference from the Jeno you’re seeing now and the Jeno then.”

“Can I ask you something?” Yejin sat up on the couch, next to Jihyun’s head as she peered up at her. “I guess I’m just a little confused, and I know that this all works with families and stuff, but did you really grow up with Jaehyun and his brothers?”

“I did. I mentioned that I was always with my dad during his jobs, and he was Jaehyun’s dad second-in-command at the time. I was always at their house, playing video games with Jaehyun because he couldn’t go outside a lot because he got sick easily. I played with Jaemin when he got older and I babysat Jisung when he was born. Jaehyun and I grew up together but we didn’t realize we had feelings for each other until we were fifteen…”

“Well, I didn’t realize I had feelings for him until I was fifteen. Jaehyun said he always knew, but I think he’s a liar.” Jihyun laughed.

Yejin smiled fondly, “that’s…kind of amazing. It all makes sense now, I guess, but what about Jeno?”

Jihyun hummed slightly to herself, “Jeno’s family…it’s a little difficult, I’m sure you gathered that already. Jeno’s dad died pretty young, and Jeno’s mom left after that but you know all about his sister.”

Yejin blinked. She racked in her brain for a mention of a sister—Jeno had mentioned his parents several times, about how his father died and his mother left, this was knowledge she had gathered from Jaemin. But a sister? Jeno nor Jaemin mentioned a sister.

Jihyun looked up from her hands to see Yejin contemplating and trying to remember. Jihyun bit her lip and sat up quickly, her head spinning.

“Jeno…Jeno hasn’t told you about her?”

“I mean no but maybe he forgot—or maybe we never got to it or maybe…” Yejin admitted defeat as she realized that Jeno never mentioned his sister and perhaps never made any plans to do so. Jihyun offered an awkward grimace.

Jihyun pondered for a moment, wondering how much she could say without offending the walls Jeno very obviously built. Should Jeno decide to tear the walls himself was one thing, however, it was not up to Jihyun to determine when and how. But, considering the hurt behind Yejin’s eyes, she gathered that it was now the time to play damage control.

“Please don’t be mad that he never told you. Jeno…he likes to be happy. He likes to feel loved and surrounded by the ones he loves—so please be understanding as to why he never told you. I don’t think he ever wanted to remember.”

“Jeno’s sister was my best friend in school. Like Jaehyun, we grew up together too and I considered her my older sister too. We were a set—Johnny oppa and Jieun unnie, Jaehyun and I. When I wasn’t at Jaehyun’s house, I was at their house after school while Jeno was always asking if Jaemin was with me. Jaemin was always attached to my hip at the time, so I guess that’s how Jeno and Jaemin got to be as close as they were.”

“Sorry, I just—“ Yejin shook her head as she tried to digest new information. Five years together and Jeno never gave a hint to a sibling. That being said, this opened a new family tree, one that was huge. “Jeno’s sister, Jieun unnie was with Johnny. Johnny’s first wife died before I got here, so that means Johnny—“

“Is Jeno’s brother in law? Yeah.”

“Then, all of Johnny’s kids are his nieces and nephews?”

Jihyun gave a sheepish smile, “…yeah.”

Yejin let her head fall against the couch, her hands on her face once again as she gripped her scalp, “what the fuck. What the fuck, Lee Jeno?!”

“This isn’t going well, is it?” Jihyun asked, her bottom lip in between her teeth as Yejin reappeared from her hands.

“What happened? Why isn’t she around what the fuck! Why didn’t Jeno tell me anything?!”

“It’s not his fault!” Jihyun quickly tried to explain. “A lot... a lot happened before you got here, Yejin. Jaehyun’s dad died earlier than we thought, alliances that we had were broken at Jaehyun’s sudden inheritance, it was a war we weren’t even slightly ready for.”

“What happened to Jeno’s sister?” Yejin asked again, noticing that Jihyun was trying to divert the conversation. Once the latter realized she had failed, she scooted closer to Yejin, taking her hands in her own and she stared at her with urgency.

“There’s only so much I can tell you, Yejin. Please understand, I was never supposed to tell you about Jieun unnie, that’s above my role. All I can tell you is that once we found out Johnny was a target, he took great care in making sure that she was safe. She took the wrong car that morning, and what was meant for Johnny landed on Jieun unnie.”

Guilt fueled in Yejin’s stomach as she realized she had pressed too hard, watching as Jihyun’s eyes watered at the memory she just barely managed to heal—only for Yejin to come and pick at the wound.

“Jeno lost everything after that. He wasn’t the same, nobody was. He left the day after the funeral and we didn’t know where he was, we looked all over Asia but we never thought he’d be in the states,” Jihyun explained quietly. “Before we could tell him to come back, he came back on his own...with you.”

“That...could be some explanation as to why Jaemin glared at you when you first came up. He was trying to protect Jeno from anything that could hurt him.”

“Jaemin thought i was going to hurt him?”

“...we all did,” Jihyun admitted. “I gave you the benefit of the doubt and thankfully it worked out for this long, but it took me a long time to get me to convince Jaehyun and Johnny oppa that you weren’t going to hurt Jeno. Meanwhile, you took care of Jaemin on your own.”

Yejin huffed, eyes pooling almost instantly as she crashed into Jihyun’s arms, “thank you for trusting me. I love Jeno, more than anything— I would never hurt him.”

She could feel Jihyun’s smile as she wrapped her arms around her body, patting her back, “I know. You don’t have to thank me, if anything, I should be thanking you. I was scared that Jeno would be broken the rest of his life, but you came and it looked like he got better...even now though, I can see that it still hurts him.”

“Regardless, I’m grateful that you were there, and although you had to find out in the most fucked up way, you never asking questions led Jeno to love and appreciate you more.”

“Does that mean that I should never bring this up?”

Jihyun sighed, “that’s a tricky question. I’m not in the position to say because it’s not my relationship and I know you’ll be opening a traumatic can of worms if you do.”

“Should I run it past Jaemin?”

“That might be your safest bet, but you’re not entirely safe from his defensiveness either, fair warning.”

Yejin sighed, still wrapped in Jihyun’s arms as she felt another member begin to squirm against her arm.

“Oh—someone’s awake.”

“She has really good timing.” Yejin mentioned quietly, lifting herself up from her Jihyun’s hold.

“She’s good at that,” Jihyun smiled gently.

Yejin took the time to lay down, watching Jihyun’s stomach stretch and pull as her baby practiced what seemed like yoga inside her. Yejin has never had information overload, but if she did, she imagined this is what it was like. Jihyun took her turn to sit on the floor then, resting her arms on the couch with her head resting against them as she carefully studied Yejin’s face.

“Talk to me, Angel.”

“I’m...just trying to process, I guess.”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve never said anything, this is my fault—“

“No, it’s not. I’m not blaming anyone but I’m definitely...upset that no one told me anything until now.” Yejin played with the frayed ends of the pillow she was laying on, staring blankly at the floor. “Jeno is the person I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with, Jaemin too, so how long were they planning on keeping this from me?”

“We all have our demons, Yejin.”

“But we also have people that help us fight them. I just don’t.. I don’t understand.”

“Is there anything you’ve never told Jeno?”

“I mean, I try to be as transparent as I can with him, because I expect the same thing but—“

“—you said try?”

Yejin chewed at her cheek, “maybe I’ve kept things from Jeno and Jaem too, but it still doesn’t reach missing sibling and family information level.”

“Like?”

“Like...I don’t know! Nothing important! Little things!”

“That’s subjective.”

Yejin huffed in disbelief, “I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work on me, Jihyun unnie.”

“I’m not telling you to not be mad at Jeno. I’m just telling you, try to see why he hid it in the first place.”

Yejin grimaced, sitting back up and noticing that her stomach was fully growling at this point. It took a few more seconds for the door bell to ring, Jihyun turning her neck and chuckling to herself quietly.

“Looks like Taeyong oppa also has good timing.”

Yejin helped Jihyun get up from the floor to open the door. Yejin would only be around to thank Taeyong for coming all this way, to which she already had the entire conversation scripted in her head. Taeyong would say it was no problem and that he would do anything for Jihyun, while Jihyun would kiss him goodbye before Doyoung killed her for keeping him from his boyfriend.

The conversation went almost identically in real life, with the exception that Taeyong playfully whined from being discharged from work before greeting Yejin and kissing Jihyun goodbye.

“Let’s eat, hm? everything is better after a good meal.” Jihyun tried her best to comfort while Yejin gave her dull smiles and nods of affirmation.

Maybe this is the feeling of uncertainty and fear she was feeling the morning?

Jaemin 

Sometimes Jaemin wished he didn’t have the job he did. It was nothing against his brother, everything he started and created, and he definitely didn’t feel this disdain because of the danger that came with it. If anything, he wished he were a little further along, near Jeno’s league, doing things like staking out and shooting things…and…well…just doing the cool things that wise guys did.

But Jaemin? Jaemin is nothing but a dirty accountant and that bored him. He doesn’t understand completely why he’s here, sitting in the room along with his brother and Johnny, listening to them vent and scream to the other people on the phone about why a certain action is reckless and why Kun isn’t allowed to do x,y,z.

This is so fucking boring, and Jaemin is barely allowed to go out to take a piss.

During these times, Jaemin would usually entertain himself with Jihyun if she was home, taking time to bond with his soon-to-be sister and take advantage of her cooking, but Jihyun was over with Yejin doing God knows what and probably having ten times more fun than him.  Jaemin holds back a groan before Jaehyun gives him a look.

“Jaemin?”

“Yes hyung?”

“Have you gotten a call from anyone yet?”

“Nope, it’s almost like you forgot to pay the phone bill or something.”

Jaehyun smirked before going back to his call, “no—no Kun hyung, I’m not yelling at you, I just want an explanation…”

Jaemin cleared his throat as he heard the phone ring, noticing that Mark’s number was on. He answered it quickly, eager to talk to anyone that wasn’t himself.

“Hello?”

“Oh! Hey, Jaemin, I thought I called Jaehyun hyung’s line sorry—“

“Please don’t hang up,” Jaemin cried quietly. “If I have to listen to myself think one more time I’m going to kill myself.”

Mark laughed on the other line, bright and annoying as it always was, “well Jaem! I don’t really have anything to tell you really, but I can think of someone who does.”

Jaemin perked up on the other side of the phone as there was silence, a few shuffles, and then a familiar voice on the line, “Hello?”

“Hey stud,” Jaemin grinned.

Jeno scoffed on the other line and he could almost imagine the roll of his eyes, “behave—Mark hyung is right here.”

“It’s not like he can hear me, you’re the one making a big deal,” Jaemin defended. “How are you? Everything okay?”

Jeno hummed, “yeah. It’s pretty boring right now. The suspected building is an orphanage—we really aren’t seeing anything but a whole bunch of kids.”

Jaemin narrowed his eyes, “you think they’re doing work in an orphanage?”

“I’m not sure, I guess that’s what we’re here to find out. But what better way to recruit than build a false sense of family with illicit business.”

“You’re the one to talk.”

Jeno chuckled, “I know. Anyway, the phone service here is suspicious and goes in and out every two hours. It might be really hard for me to call Yejinie later…do you think you could tell her?”

“Of course. She might cry.”

Jeno whined, “why would you tell me that? I’m going to feel awful all day.”

“I’m kidding. Odds are she’s going to be pretty disappointed but I honestly doubt that she’ll cry about it—not over the phone at least.”

“Just tell her I love her and that I’m sorry. I’ll call her as soon as I can.”

“I’ll pass it along.”

“Thank you. And Jaem?”

“Hm?”

“I love you too.”

Jaemin’s ears burned before he could laugh and react, “I love you. Don’t forget to call.”

“I won’t. I’m nearing the end of the hour, service is about to shut off again.”

“Okay, okay—I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

Jaemin hung up the phone at the same time Jaehyun and Johnny had, both with grave looks on their faces. Jaehyun was the first to exhale and rub his face harshly before pulling it back, staring at the phone in front of him.

“I can’t wait til this blows over,” Jaehyun groaned.

“It’s only two more days, we should be good,” Johnny cleared his throat. He looked over at Jaemin and cocked his head, “did Jeno tell you anything?”

“How did you know I was talking to Jeno?”

“Do you usually tell anyone else you love them?”

Jaemin snorted and recounted the quick information he was told from his boyfriend, not long before Jaehyun nodded.

“It’s the same thing Mark just told me,” Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair before glancing over at Johnny. “Hyung, what if we got this all wrong?”

Johnny shook his head, “it’s only 6:30. We don’t have the slightest idea as to what they do at night, and if we got it all wrong then we keep looking. That’s all.”

Jaehyun stood up from his chair and stretched his neck, “I’m going to take a break. Take one if you all need one.”

Without another word, Jaehyun exited the room as Jaemin watched Johnny sink in his chair further.

“Hyung,” he started, carefully. “Do you think we have it all wrong?”

Johnny used his knuckles to rub the underside of his chin, scratching at the prickly hairs that were forming as he stared at the wall mindlessly, “I don’t have a clue, Jaemin.”

Jaemin’s jaw tensed before staring at Johnny for a few moments, not long before he decided to take a break and call Yejin now that he had the change.

The call went as he expected, she was delighted to hear from him and disappointed to find out she wouldn’t be hearing from Jeno tonight. He had asked how it was going between the two of them, both Jihyun and the baby and Yejin recounted that it was going great, and that it felt nice to have someone around the two days that neither he or Jeno would be around. They chatted very little, as Jaehyun reentered the meeting room before Jaemin did, prompting him to end the call a little earlier than he would’ve liked.

So then, the cycle continued. Jaemin continued to stare at his phone in silence as Johnny and Jaehyun returned to arguing with whomever was on the phone at that time. Jaemin couldn’t begin to think how people in office jobs could do this—quite honestly, it made him sick to his stomach. Regardless, noon came around quicker than he thought it would, and they had delivered Chinese food considering his brother was being stingy with the food in the fridge. Hour passed quicker after lunch as they were allowed another break, but Jaemin took advantage of this to take a nap, falling asleep on the meeting room couch before being woken up two hours later, graciously as Jaehyun had let him sleep in.

Jaemin peeked at his brother through his eyelashes, watching as he discussed quietly with Johnny over the plan time and time again, feeling sick to his stomach as he felt a wave of deja vu hit him like a truck. Jaemin, when he was younger and before Jisung was born, was often attached to his father and always sat around in his office despite his father lecturing him on secrecy. Granted, at the time, Jaemin didn’t know anything that his father did, nor did he care, he just remembered sitting on the couch playing on whatever handheld device he had while he argued with his right hand man, who was then Jihyun’s father.

Jaehyun now looked almost identical to their father in his earlier years. The same frown, the same hand on his chin whenever he was thinking…even the way he stood over the phone to speak into it was the same, as well as the same curses and swears their father used to say. Jaemin closed his eyes all the way and pretended, just for a moment, that he was the same 8 year old boy taking a nap on the dusty worn out couch, hiding from his eccentric mother only for a second’s worth of silence. It didn’t work, however, as he heard his landline ring, and he was rushed out of his daydream.

He noticed it was later now, closer to dinner time as he reached to answer the phone. The number was Mark’s again, and he answered swiftly only to hear him cut off just when Mark answered hello.

“That phone cut off is a bitch,” Jaemin groaned, still somewhat bleary eyes and cranky. “How are we supposed to call them if someone over there is cutting off the phone lines every two to three hours?!”

“That’s what we were talking about just now,” Jaehyun sighed. “I feel like we have the right place, they aren’t cutting phone lines for no reason, much less a good one, so the orphanage has to be a front.”

“Unless they’re trying to save money?” Johnny pressed.

Jaehyun shook his head, “an orphanage? Cutting off service? Hyung, the orphanage should be the first place that has phone service, delivery calls, emergency calls, calls from adoptions agencies. There’s no reason why those phones shouldn’t and wouldn’t be ringing off the wall.”

“That’s what you would think.”

Jaehyun blew a short breath out of his nose before rubbing his chin, “yeah. That is what I would think.”

Soon after, dinner time came along but neither party was hungry enough to eat—just from the sheer anxiety from Mark’s incomplete call. More so because it’s been two hours, and he has yet to call again. A clean-up operation rarely goes wrong, especially if Mark and Jeno are behind it, but Jaemin still can’t help to feel a sense of unnerving fear to him, one that threatens the lunch in his stomach.

Ten pm and Johnny had left to his room, Jaehyun and Jaemin being the only two in the rooms, both waiting for someone to say something. After a few minutes, Jaehyun turned to Jaemin and gave him an awkward smile.

“You can go to bed, Jaem. I’ll probably be up late anyway.”

“I think I’ll stay here for a little bit, if that’s okay,” Jaemin returned the smile before Yejin came to mind. “But, I’ll take a break real quick. If that’s okay.”

Jaehyun nodded, “of course.”

Jaemin got up from his seat, freezing once he heard Jaehyun clear his throat, “hey, Jaemin? You don’t have to but—“

“Yeah, I’ll ask about Jihyun noona.” Jaemin smiled widely, relief washing over Jaehyun as he gave him a genuine smile this time.

“Thank you.”

Jaemin left the room for a bit of privacy, opting for the smaller meeting room and taking a seat in one of the armchairs. After a single dial tone, Yejin answered almost immediately.

“Jaem?”

“Hi Angel,” Jaemin smiled, fatigue flowing out of his fingertips as his heart beats happily. “How are you?”

“I’m good. Jihyun unnie went to bed kind of early, about an hour ago.”

“Jaehyun hyung asked me to check on her, is she okay?”

“You won’t believe it but she’s given birth and the baby has taken it’s first steps.”

Jaemin laughed, “you’re lucky I’m not my brother, I wouldn’t have found it remotely funny.”

“I wouldn’t dream of saying any of this to your brother in the first place,” Yejin laughed. “How are you, baby? Is everything okay?”

“Everything is okay here. I slept for a while so time went a lot faster,” Jaemin reassured, “it really is the most boring fucking job in the world. It’s like a call center but for illegal things.”

Yejin giggled, “when we’re old we can go to a farm. You, me, and Jeno raising chickens.”

“That’s all I want, let’s buy a farm house right now.”

“God no, if I’m around a farm I’ll kill myself.”

Jaemin grinned and played with the hem of his shirt, taking the time to listen to Yejin’s soft sighs before she continued, “have you heard from Jeno?”

“I haven’t. I’m sorry, baby. When he called the line went flat and I wasn’t able to talk to him.”

“oh. okay.”

“I’m sure I’ll talk to him tomorrow morning. He’s leaving the site tonight for another one, hopefully this one has better reception and I won’t have to play messenger.”  

“Hopefully. It feels weird not having either of you here, it’s too quiet—more so now that Jihyun unnie went to sleep.”

“I told you you’d miss us when we’re not around.”

“How was I supposed to know I’d miss your annoying whining?”

“You’re supposed to miss me, every single waking moment of your life.”

“You’re psychotic,”

“Psychotically in love…with you,” Jaemin cooed, laughing wholeheartedly when he heard her gag over the phone.

“Just now I was beginning to think I believed Jihyun unnie when she said Jaehyun oppa gave you a run for your money in affection. But you really are disgusting,“

“Babe he really does give me a run for my money,” Jaemin grinned. “It’s actually disgusting.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,”

“Yeah right, over his dead body. Major tsundere—maybe even abusive.”

“Now you’re just being an asshole—“

Jaemin jumped at the sound of the door swinging open, his brother shoving his coat on as he gave Jaemin a frantic look. “We have to go. Now.”

“What—?”

“Now, Jaemin!”

Jaemin scurried on his feet, “Yejin? Baby? I’ve got to go, okay? I’ll call you in a little.”

“Jaemin? Is everything okay? What’s going on?”

“I uh,” he cleared his throat and ran to grab his jacket before shoving it on with his phone pressed between his cheek and shoulder. “I don’t know yet, angel. I’m sorry. I’ll call you.”

“O-okay. Be safe, I love you.”

“I love you, sweetheart. So much.” Jaemin blew a kiss into the receiver before hanging up, shoving the device in his pocket as he caught the gun Jaehyun tossed him midair. Johnny had already started the car outside as he was being led inside.

“Hyung, what the fuck is going on?” He asked after settling in his seat.

“Mark called. He told me Jeno was bringing the car around when they flipped the car over.”

Jaemin felt his heart fall to his feet and the bile rise in his throat, “what? What do you mean? Who’s they? Is Jeno okay? Is he still there?”

“We don’t know. I don’t know anything.” Jaehyun admitted quietly.

Jaemin clenched his jaw, “what do you mean you don’t fucking know anything?”

“He’s at the hospital, unresponsive.” Johnny added sourly. “Your brother didn’t want to tell you that bit.”

Jaemin’s breath is shallow as he glared at Johnny through the rearview mirror, somehow also begging him to tell him that this was some kind of sick fucking joke. Jaemin tried to regulate his breathing until he got to the hospital, Johnny dropping both Jaehyun and Jaemin at the doors.

Jaemin pushed through people, causing his older brother to apologize for his behavior despite Jaehyun calling out for him to wait for him. He reached the reception desk and demanded for Lee Jeno’s room, only to make the nurse behind the desk stare at him in confusion.

“Are you fucking deaf? Lee. Je. No. Do I have to spell it out—?”

“Jaemin, take a seat,” Jaehyun suddenly said behind him, taking his arm and gently nudging him to the side before Jaemin snatched his arm out of his hold.

“No.This is all your fault, this would’ve never happened if-“

“Excuse me,” said Jaehyun suddenly, giving the receptionist a smile before bowing. He took Jaemin’s arm again, this time much harder as he pulled him in an empty hallway.

“Is that how you speak to someone who is trying to help you?” Jaehyun seethed quietly, glaring at his youngest brother as his grip tightened around his arm.

Jaemin’s jaw was set as he glared at his brother in return, tears filling his eyes as he refused to reply.

“Speak.” He growled, “you had no problem speaking up when you were in front of the nurse and you will do the same now if you had something worthwhile to say.”

Jaemin remained silent as Jaehyun let go of his arm, “that’s what I fucking thought. I give you a lot of slack because you’re my brother Jaemin, but don’t disrespect me again. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, hyung.” Jaemin spat, his eyes now on the floor as he watched a tear fall onto his shoe.

“You will stay here, I will go speak to the receptionist. If you make another scene, so help me God, Jaemin I will fuck you up myself. Do I make myself clear?”

Jaemin nodded, falling against the wall as he slowly slid down while bystanders walk past him.

He felt as if he had been staring at the wall for hours until he heard a familiar voice next to him. He looked up to see Mark with a grim look on his face. Jaemin stood up and Mark didn’t waste any time in taking his hands and bowing deeply. He was saying something but even then he could pinpoint what the words were.

“…so sorry, Jaem. It should’ve been me, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be like that, hyung,” Jaemin felt like he was speaking underwater, too calm and too distant. “I’d feel just as awful if it were you.”

“He’s okay, though.” Mark continued. Jaemin must’ve not been speaking this entire time. “He’s concussed, real bad. A lot of broken bones, but he’ll be out of surgery soon. He’s alive, Jaem.”

“Where is he?” Jaemin barely got out, surprising Mark.

“In surgery still, it’ll be a few more hours, but we can go to the waiting room,” Mark wrapped an am around Jaemin’s shoulder. “Do you want to call Yejin?”

Jaemin shook his head, looking at the time on his wrist before looking back at Mark, “no. She should get some rest, I’ll tell her tomorrow.”

“Are you sure? She’s probably worried right now.”

“She won’t sleep if I tell her tonight, it’s best if we wait until morning.”

Mark grimaced before nodding, leading Jaemin into the waiting room where Jaehyun and Johnny sat on the opposite side. Jaemin made sure he didn’t sit down until he glared at his brother once more, listening to Mark give him his entire story. 

previous

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masterlist

[sunflowerkiszka]

Hii Can i ask for the dialogue thing number 1, 2 And 34 with Jake :) thank you

you're the one i want- jake kiszka imagine

dialogue prompts 1, 2, & 34 w Jake

"you're annoying"

"please stop being mad and let me kiss you"

"you're the one I want"

pairing: jake x reader

a/n: is this even good idk how i feel ab this one

it's also not edited so if it's obvious- sry

also i saw this post the other day and it was like "y do ppl want to read angst fics do they WANT to be sad" or something like that we

genre: angst

word count: around 1.3k

summary: jake is jealous of you're relationships w his brothers

warnings: swearing

❁

"Jake," you shout after you're boyfriend. You're struggling to run in your heels to chase him. He's upset because he felt as though you were flirting with Josh and giving him more attention.

He was always really jealous of your friendships with his brothers, especially Josh which baffles you because even though you love Josh, he's an actual clown.

"Jake!" you groan again, but he keeps walking. You roll your eyes and pause so you can remove the heels from your aching feet and be quicker.

You eventually caught up to him and forced him to turn around, "What the hell?"

"What," he sighs.

You scoff, "What do you mean 'what'? What is your problem, Jake?"

Instead of answering you, he kicks rocks with his boots.

"Dude," you push back his shoulder in hopes that he'll pay attention to you. When his eyes finally meet yours you continue, "What's wrong?"

A lot of the times when he's upset, he just grows quiet and you hate it because you never know what's going on in his head.

"Talk to me," you press.

After a few seconds of him just standing there you give up. You turn on your heels with a sigh, shoes still in hand, and walk back inside.

"What's up with Jake?" Sam asks with a confused expression.

"I have no idea, but whatever," you shake your head, "All I'm worried about right now is what my next drink is gonna be."

You both laugh and as soon as you turn to get another drink, Josh is in your face screaming Chandelier. Again.

"Jooossshhhh," you yell over him and cover your ears. You try to repress the laugh that comes out because you really don't want to encourage this.

Sam jokingly puts his hands around his neck and pulls him away from you.

"Thank you," you giggle.

The rest of your night was spent singing and dancing, but also yelling at Josh.

You were about five drinks in by the time you guys were ready to leave, but you were still coherent enough to think straight.

"Are you going home, Y/N?" Sam asks as the three of you emerged outside.

You sigh, remembering your boyfriend. "Well I wasn't really planning on it, but.... I guess now I am."

You all piled into your friends' car who was the designated driver and the ride was mostly silent aside from Josh trying to talk to everyone about random topics.

Sam walked you up to your door to make sure you got inside safely.

"Thank you, Sammy," you say in his chest. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Y/N. I'll talk to Jake," he gives you a lopsided smile.

"Yeah, boyfriend of the year, huh," you say before turning to walk inside.

You debate if you should call him or not. You know that you can't let him continue to do these types of things and you don't want to give in, but even though it was early on in the relationship this really upset you and you just wanted to make it better. Your feelings for him were already really strong so soon in and it was kind of scary.

You ultimately decide to not, because he needs to learn how to communicate better and you couldn't enable him. If you did, nothing would improve and you wanted you two to last.

It's around 2:00 A.M. and you were just laying bed, thinking.

Does he even care? You didn't know what was wrong or why he just walked away like that. You had known him for a while, but being together romantically was a whole new world and you felt like there was a whole new part of him that you didn't know and you were so confused about it.

You decide to shake it off and just try to fall asleep.

The next day when you wake up you check your phone. Nothing from Jake.

You're going over to their place later to listen to a song they were working on. You have a mild hangover, but nothing a joint can't fix. You eat breakfast, shower, all that shit, and get ready for your day.

You're a little nervous to face him, but you're a bad bitch so you got this.

When you get to their place, Sam opens the door for you.

"Hey, Y/N," he extends his arms out for a hug that you reciprocate.

"Y/N!" Josh screams and joins the hug which makes you laugh.

"Hey Josh," you smile when you pull away.

"Come, step into our lair," Josh motions inside.

"Where's Jake?" you can't help but wonder.

"Um..." Sam looks around, "He's... Actually I don't know."

"Wow thanks," you laugh, "Great help."

Just as if it was on que, Jake walks in, but ignores your presence. He ignored for most of the time you were there. You didn't want to push it. What's meant to be, will be. So you didn't.

You spent the time dancing to it with the other boys.

"This is so good!" you laugh.

Sammy laughs and reaches over to fix your hair that was messy from headbanging.

"Wow," Jake mutters and gets up from his position in the corner.

"What!" you throw your hands in the air. "What is your fucking problem?" you yell. You'd never yelled at him before. You never really yelled anyways, so everyone knew that you were pissed.

Jake looks taken aback and when he doesn't say anything you continue, "Huh? Why are you ignoring me? What the hell did I do? If you don't want to be with me just- just fucking say it. I'm a big girl, I can handle it."

Sam and Josh are wide-eyed and start to shuffle out of the room awkwardly.

"No, you guys don't have to leave. I'll go," you say and quickly pick up your bag.

"Y/N-" Jake starts and you're already out the door. "Y/N!" he repeats. What a turn of events.

He finally catches up to you and grabs your hand.

"What, Jake?" you yank back your hand.

He opens and closes his mouth a few times and you roll your eyes before turning back around. Your open your car door and he yells out, "I'm..."

"You're what?" you look at him.

He looks around and you just get into your car. Before you could close the door he stops it.

"Do you even like me?" he asks.

"What!?" you exclaim.

"I mean you're always talking to my brothers more than me!" he starts to raise his voice.

"Jake," you sigh. How could he think this? "You don't get to yell at me right now. You left me there with them, what did you expect to happen?"

"Well I left because you were-"

"Jake," you cut him off, "You're the one I want. Not Sam, not Josh. You. But you can't be upset with me because we have a friendship. And you can't do things like that, it's not okay...."

"I know," he brings a hand to his face, "I'm sorry, I just... I was a dick. I wasn't thinking right. I shouldn't have done that. You didn't deserve that."

You sigh and step out of the car to stand in front of him.

"Do you forgive me?" he asks.

"You can't get out of it that easily," you raise your brow.

"Well... what can I do?"

"Um, not do that again? And stop thinking that I don't like you. Cause I do. A lot," you laugh softly at the end.

"I like you a lot too, that's why I did that, but it was stupid. It won't happen again, I promise," he pulls you into him and you bend your neck up to look at his face. His hair tickles your face in the process. "Okay, big girl?" he mocks.

You roll your eyes and push him away, but you can't hide the smile that creeps up onto your lips, "You're annoying. You know that?"

He shrugs, "Yeah... I'm sorry, again." You guys look at each other for a moment before he bends down to kiss you, but you put your hand on his face and he throws his head back, "Please stop being mad and let me kiss you," he groans.

You look around as if you're pondering and he grows impatient. "Stop fucking with me," he begs while tugging at your arm and you laugh.

"No, you have to earn this shit," you shake your head and he closes his eyes as he let's out a sigh.

"Please?" he does the puppy dog eyes thing that you can't resist. He begins to smile when he sees that you're cracking.

"Just this one," you bring a finger to his face, "time."

He laughs, "Yeah, whatever," he pulls your head to his and lets his lips linger on yours for a while and you laugh while trying to push him away.

"You're annoying," you repeat.

"I know," he smiles.

[frisbee-camp]

Let Me Help

AO3 Link//Wattpad Link

Tj and Cyrus have been friends for a long time, but will that change after life comes crashing down and impulsive decisions catch up to them? (Angst, Ambi, love notes, slow burn, aged up so they're all in high school, god tier ships, mental health, and like a whole bunch more ladies! Let’s get this angst.)

Chapter 12 The Ocean is Six Miles Deep

From Muffin 😸: SKKSKSKSKSKSK WHAT IS THISS Sent: IDK lmao some kid on the basketball team sent it to me From Muffin 😸: I- From Muffin 😸:Best thing I've ever seen!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A TINY KITTTYYYYY AWWWWW Sent: Cutest thing ever right???  From Muffin 😸:Thank you for making my day Tyler James  From Muffin 😸:OH I FORGOT TO TELL YOUUUUUUU Sent: What?? whats wrong??? From Muffin 😸:NOthing,,,,,, but Nala is going to have puppies!!!!!! Sent: OH,...mygod.... From Muffin 😸: IKNOW RIGHT Sent: uhh they're mine now sry not sry From Muffin 😸:ybflhbdsonsj don't worry we'll have our own puppies someday,, my parents already have people who want them 😭 Sent: That's the worst thing I have ever heard in my entire life  Sent: what type of puppies do you want ill get you some for our future home From Muffin 😸: YES our future home must have at LEAST 30 puppies at all times From Muffin 😸:I WANT ALL OF THE PUPPIES GIVE ME ALL OF THEMMM Sent: hahaha i'll try my best  Sent: Ok Cy i really gotta gooo but i'll see you tomorrow? From Muffin 😸: NOOOOOOOO 😭😭🥺 Sent: Underdog...........its so late oh my god go to bed. GOODNIGHTTT 😊 TJ rubbed his eyes and looked at his clock, it was already 3 am and it was Sunday night. He knew he'd see Cyrus at school tomorrow. After last week's winter market, TJ had found himself gravitating towards Cyrus and his friends. He now considered them his closest friends. Wherever Cyrus was, he was there too. Cyrus had even gone over to TJs house to play video games Cyrus was extremely horrible at, they ended up eating canned peaches and playing Mario Cart (TJ let him win every time). Things were finally feeling stable, It felt like old times. He finally felt accepted, and yet there was always something off about the situation. If Cyrus really liked him like everyone told him, then why hadn't he said anything about it?  "Hey stranger," Cyrus had said to him the next morning after plopping his backpack on the table. TJ didn't care that he had to wake up thirty minutes earlier to talk to Cyrus in the mornings, he was glad to see him. "Hi," Tj smiled. He was only slightly tired.  "How'd you sleep?" Cyrus said lightly. "How did you sleep?" TJ retorted.  "Me? Like a baby." Cyrus smiled and laid his head on his backpack. Tj grinned, but he still felt like something was off. TJ laid his hands on the table, lightly fiddling with the straps of Cyrus' backpack. Cyrus put his own hand on Tj's. Tj's hand stopped moving, but his heart was about to beat out of his chest. They both knew they were something more than friends, but neither of them knew how to talk about it.  "So," Tj said.  "So...what?" Cyrus said  "Um," Tj bit his lip, he didn't quite know what to say. "I used to like Jonah," Cyrus said, as he played with TJ's fingers, "Is that okay with you?" Cyrus looked up at him, Tj didn't know if he'd ever seen such nice eyes in his life.  He nodded, his lip faintly curling, "Used to?" he said. Cyrus nodded slightly and looked away, "Yeah, well he's with Walker now...so I can't anymore,"  TJ felt his spirits drop, he whispered: "So, you still like him?"  "That's not what I meant," Cyrus sat up and took TJ's hand in both his hands.  "Then what do you mean?" TJ frowned, he didn't know if Cyrus was telling him if he liked him or Jonah.  "I just wanted you to know that I'm gay," Cyrus gave him a shy smile and looked up at him under his eyelashes. His cheeks were lightly dusted pink, Tj had never wanted to kiss someone's cheek so badly.  He swallowed the feeling down, he didn't want to complicate things. He liked Cyrus too much to confess, he was sure he'd mess it up if he did. He didn't want to hurt him. "Why didn't you tell me before? I thought we told each other everything?" He said.  Cyrus simply shrugged and said, "Well it didn't matter before." "And now it does?" Tj asked. What was he trying to say?  "Maybe, and you know," Cyrus slowly said as he traced TJ's palm, "You don't have to keep coming to school so early, I know you like to sleep."   "The morning is...nice," Tj said, looking around, he actually hated the morning, but at least it was sunny today.  "Tyler James, just say you wanted to see me and move on," Cyrus said, grinning.  TJ gave a fake gasp, "ME? Never," he said laughing, "Actually, I'm not even here right now! I'm a figment of your imagination, so take that." Cyrus rolled his eyes and gently shoved TJ, TJ ruffled his hair and laughed with him.  "Okay you two, get a room," Marty said, walking up to them. He was followed by tired looking Andi, Buffy,  Jonah, and Walker. TJ knew Amber was meeting with the student government to go over what still needed to be done for the dance in a couple weeks, so this meant she'd be extra moody when she gets home.  "Yeah guys, we gotta study for bio, the final is soon and I really really need an A," Walker said as he sat down next to Jonah. TJ noticed that Cyrus had let go of his hand. He saw Cyrus look towards Jonah, TJ felt a pang of jealousy. The rest of the morning consisted of the friends struggling to understand basic biology. During the school day, TJ was met with hesitant yet genuine smiles from his classmates. He didn't feel like he needed to intimidate them anymore, he felt normal. He walked around with his friends, shared food with them, and even gave Andi advice on how to deal with Amber. However, Tj couldn't keep his eyes off Cyrus. He seemed fine this morning, but now he looked deflated. TJ knew the smiles he gave him were fake. He had asked Buffy and Andi about it, but they just looked at eat other quickly and told him to brush it off. TJ couldn't help but notice Cyrus' absence during the second half of the week. TJ tried calling and texting, but he didn't answer. He thought it was something he had done. Was it because he didn't make a move on him? Nice going TJ, you ruined this too.  Friday night, while TJ was quietly playing a video game he'd gotten for his birthday, Amber burst into his room still in her work uniform.  "STOP BEING SO LOUD!" Amber yelled. "I'm literally playing with the sound off Amber what the hell!?" TJ said.  "You're just UGH" Amber threw herself dramatically onto his bed. "What's your problem?" TJ said.  "You're being too loud with your emotions," Amber said into the pillow.  "What are you even talking about?" Tj said confused.  "Twintuition" Amber said, "You're thinking too loud. Have you told him you like him yet?"  "No..." TJ said, looking guilty, "But soon." "That's what I thought. You need to tell him soon so that you can shut your mind up and give me some damn peace and quiet. Here, I'll call him right now." Amber went to reach for his phone, but TJ snatched it away from her line of sight.  "Bambi! Stop being so weird," TJ frowned at his phone screen, he had no notifications, "He's not even answering my texts." Amber sat up on her elbows, she hummed, "That's weird, I'll text Andi" a few moments later Tj saw Amber sit up and bite her lip.  TJ immediately stood up and took Amber's phone from her hand, he read a long desperate message from Andi saying Cyrus hadn't been answering their calls either, and when their friends went over to check on him, he barely acknowledged them. Andi said that his parents said he hadn't been taking his meds and that they were trying their best, but they couldn't do anything other than make sure he didn't hurt himself. Andi suggested TJ talk to him, maybe he needed to see a new face. Andi had sent his address in the text.  TJ frantically packed an overnight bag, "Come on!" he said to confused Amber, "will you take me?" She nodded skeptically.  TJ really hadn't thought this through. He really did not know what he was doing knocking on the Goodman's door at 10 pm on a Friday, he just knew he couldn't sit around like last time.  A man in a dark colored robe answered the door, he was holding a steaming mug, "Yes?" The man asked as he looked TJ up and down.  "Oh move Norman, it's one of Cyrus' friends," TJ saw a kind looking woman move Norman aside.  "Hi um Mr and Mrs Goodman I'm TJ, we've met before, I came, to" Tj pulled on his duffle bag strap, "I came to see if Cyrus was alright" He gave them his best handshake and smile.  "Ah," the woman raised her eyebrows and gave Norman a suspicious look, "So you're the one he's been talking about. Come in come in. I assume you're staying since you brought your bag and everything?" TJ shrank, he really didn't think this through, "If that's okay with you? I don't mean to intrude." "Oh sweetie no need to use that formal voice, you're here for Cyrus, you can stay however long you want," The woman opened the door wider and motioned for him to come in. TJ had been to Cyrus' before, but not to this house, he did have two sets of parents of course.  "He's with us this week, " The woman whispered in front of his door, "Please try to get him to take his meds," TJ saw her walk away and whisper something to Cyrus' dad who solemnly nodded.  TJ softly knocked and received no response. He knocked again. No response. He gently twisted the door open, "Cyrus?" he whispered into the darkness. "Cyrus?" he asked again as he stepped inside and dropped his bag. He saw Cyrus sitting on his bed, bundled in what Tj could only assume were all the blankets in Shadyside. Nala was sitting beside him as he stared into his blue computer screen. A breeze ran through the room, someone had left the window cracked open. TJ walked over and closed it, startling Cyrus. "TJ?" Cyrus asked confused. TJ knew that if he looked at him his heart would break, he looked at his dog instead.  "Yeah," he said as he sat next to him, "Your dog's here." "Yeah." "Does she always follow you?" "Yeah." "Uh, Whatcha watching?" TJ sat next to him. He didn't know what to do with his hands, or his feet, or his with his words for that matter.  "What are you doing here TJ?" TJ saw Cyrus stop petting Nala, she looked up at them both.  "Just thought I'd visit is all" TJ quickly glanced at Cyrus, he was right, his heart broke. Cyrus looked completely miserable, he was hollow. "What are you watching?" "Ocean documentaries." "Oh yeah? About what?" TJ really really did not know what he was doing, he just knew he had to be here. "The ocean." "What about the ocean?" TJ said grinning slightly. "What are you doing here TJ? I don't want you to see me like this," Cyrus whispered. He looked on the brink of tears, TJ hated this. He hated that Cyrus was sad, he hated that he couldn't kiss him, he hated that they were dumb teenagers with too many feelings.  "I wanted to see you," Tj said, forcing himself to look at Cyrus' sunken face. Tj wanted to cry too.  Cyrus looked down and back to his screen, he pressed play. They watched the movie in silence. Tj didn't know what it was about, he was too busy playing with Cyrus' fingers.  When the movie ended Cyrus burst into tears.  He leaned onto TJ's shoulder, "I don't know why I'm like this," he sobbed, "I don't know what I'm doing, I have nothing to be sad about." TJ didn't know what to do, so he sat there and rubbed his back as Cyrus' tears soaked his shirt. I wish I could take away your pain. TJ had to blink back his own tears. They sat there until the credits ended and Cyrus' sobs turned into sniffles.  "Another?" TJ asked softly. He felt Cyrus nod. TJ played another Ocean documentary as Cyrus clung to his shirt. Tj eventually felt Cyrus' breath even out. TJ tried to pay attention to the movie, it had something to do with the Mariana Trench and pufferfish, but TJ couldn't concentrate.  "Why are you so nice to me Tyler James?" Cyrus quietly asked.  "I'm your friend" "Friends don't do this," Cyrus said, still clinging to TJ.  "You just-" Tj thought to himself, "You get me, and I want to get you too. You know what I mean?" "You're easy to understand," Cyrus said.  "What do you mean?"  "You avoid your own feelings by fixing other people, you like feeling useful." Cyrus let out in one breath, "And so do I" he added.  "So I've heard" Tj chuckled to himself.  He heard Cyrus let out a breath, "Are you staying over?" "Yeah." "Don't you have cool jock stuff to do?" "This is my cool jock stuff," Tj grinned and squeezed Cyrus. He saw Cyrus' lips quirk up. He didn't know a smile could be so rewarding.  "I'm glad you came today and not yesterday. I was a mess yesterday." Cyrus sighed.  "Why?" TJ said, "I could've handled it." Cyrus let out a breath through his nose, "No you really couldn't have. My parents almost called all the psychiatrists in town." TJ stayed silent for a moment, simply tracing circles on Cyrus' back and hearing him breath. He wanted to stay like that forever. But, he knew he couldn't, "Why'd you stop taking your meds Cyrus?" he asked gently.  Cyrus was quiet. TJ thought he had fallen asleep, but he finally answered in the smallest voice, "I just want to be normal." Tj bit his lip, "Normal is what you make of it. You need to take them Cy, they're there to help you." Cyrus sighed and buried himself deeper into TJ's chest, "I know," Tj heard him say faintly. They stayed like that for the rest of the night, watching ocean documentaries under all the blankets in Shadyside, until they both fell asleep. Cyrus didn't let go of TJ the entire night.

[grandmascottlang]

Il Avait les Mots (Peter Parker X Reader)

Hey, guys! I know that I’ve been on a writing hiatus for a while, but I did want to write this story after the idea popped into my head. I did write this during my Tumblr hiatus (because I knew that I’d be back a few days after I had written this). After all of the stuff that been happening to me over the past few weeks, I really just needed to sit down and write some angst to get all of my feelings out. I wanted to base this story more on the friendships behind the relationship, just so you know. This story is loosely based on the French song “Il avait les mots” by Sheryfa Luna. I hope that you enjoy!

MASTERLIST

Translation: Il avait les mots → He used to have the words

Summary: Peter breaks up with [Name] and her friends comfort her while she’s feeling down.

Warnings: Angst, language, not eating, more focused on friendships than a relationship, texting

Words: 1.5k+

[Name] remembered it being a Wednesday in her favorite month.

“I’m sorry, [Name], but I can’t do this anymore. I hope that you’ll be able to forgive me.”

Peter walked away with a frown on his face, clearly not happy with what he felt was right to do. He broke up with his girlfriend, [Name], after three long years.

Peter had gotten his powers a year earlier and decided that he didn’t want anyone to hurt [Name] because of who he was (if anyone found out his identity). He really didn’t want it to come to this, but he had to do it.

[Name] was left there with no one there to comfort her in the middle of the hallway. She wasn’t given a very definitive reason as to why Peter wanted to break up. She had to assume. And she assumed the worst.

It was the middle of the day and she still had to make it through the day. [Name] ran to her locker and opened it, immediately ripping the photo of Peter and her off of the door. She looked down at the photo.

It was a selfie taken by Peter of him with a big grin on his face while [Name] gave him a kiss on the cheek. [Name] smiled briefly at the memory before tears ran down her face and fell onto the photo, displacing the ink. She chuckled softly, taking a deep breath before taking the photo in both of her hands and ripping it into tiny pieces. She couldn’t stand looking at the photo for any longer and just dropped the pieces on the ground beneath her.

Peter felt awful, bile rising in his stomach as he thought about what he had done. He wanted to do more than apologize but he couldn’t. He wasn’t hers anymore and she wasn’t his.

He thought that he might see her at her lock and be able to give her a better reason as to why he broke up with her, but when he saw her, the damage had already been done. [Name] was quietly crying to herself and dropped some pieces of paper to the floor. She then walked away.

Peter had a feeling that he knew what it was, but he needed to make sure. He walked to pick up the pieces and saw the ripped photo.

Tears rose in his eyes. “I made a big mistake,” he muttered under his breath, shakily as he cried. He knew that he wasn’t going to be a part of her life for any longer.

The outlines of tears were etched onto [Name]’s face as she went to go look for her friends during lunch. She saw Liz and MJ sitting together, Ned and Peter nowhere in sight. She took a sigh of relief.

She grabbed her lunch and sat down next to her friends. “Hey, guys.”

Liz was the first to look at her. [Name]’s eyes were red and bloodshot with tears threatening to escape the corners of her eyes. She noticed that [Name] had been crying earlier by the white outlines of dried tears sitting on top of her face. There was not a day where [Name] didn’t have a smile on her face, but today, a frown was on her visage.

“Oh my god, [Name], are you okay?” Liz asked with Michelle turning her head immediately after hearing Liz’s question.

“What happened?”

“Peter broke up with me.”

“Hey! Fries before guys, remember?” MJ said, trying to cheer [Name] up.

She chuckled before letting her tears fall into her food. She wasn’t feeling all to hungry anyways.

“You’re right. Guys suck anyways.”

The bell rang to go back to class and [Name] sadly smiled at her friends before walking away.

“I’m going to go kick that boy’s ass.” Michelle gritted her teeth and clenched her fists as she walked to class with Liz.

[Name], I’m so, so sorry for what I did to you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I had to do it-

Peter began to type out what he wanted to say before deleting it. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Don’t know how to do what?” May questioned him as she walked into his room. “Oh, and by the way, is [Name] coming over today? We could go get some Thai?”

Tears began welling up in his eyes again. “I don’t think that [Name] is going to come over anymore, May.”

Guys, he just texted me. I don’t know what to do. -[Name]

Oooh, what’d he say? -MJ

MJ… -Liz

Right, sry, Liz. -MJ

[Name] sent a screenshot of the text that Peter had sent to her.

[Name], I am so sorry for what I did. I never meant to hurt you, and I realized that too late. I wish that I could have said all of the things in my mind, why I needed to do it, but I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know why and it’s really all my fault. I know that you’ll never be able to forgive me, but just know that I still care about you. I always have and always will. I’m sorry, [Name]. -Peter

After reading the text a million times to find a rhyme or reason, she couldn’t figure it out. And that’s what made her resentful and sad. [Name] questioned herself, “What did I do wrong?”

Omfg -MJ

He actually sent that? -MJ

And he still hasn’t told you why? -Liz

You don’t deserve that bullshit, [Name]. You deserve everything the world has to offer and then some. -MJ

Truth is he doesn’t deserve you. You deserve someone who returns your love, loyalty, and dedication. He was always “running” off somewhere and you definitely don’t need someone like that in your life. -Liz

Thank you so much, guys. For, you know, helping me through this. -[Name]

I think that it’s better if you let it out the best you can. I’ll always be here for you, [Name]. Through thick and thin, it’s not a problem. -Liz

It’s unfair that you have to go through this. So, hell yeah, we’re going to be here to lean on when you need some friends 😊 -MJ

A small smile found its way to [Name]'s face when she read the messages from her friends. She really did have the best of friends.

[Name] hadn’t slept or had a bite to eat since the breakup. The smell of food made her feel sick to her stomach and she couldn’t sleep with thoughts of Peter roaming around in her mind.

To keep herself occupied from not being able to sleep, she went through the pictures on her phone, but anytime there was one of Peter and her, she broke down. She was unconsciously torturing herself by looking at pictures of her and Peter together. She didn’t know that she would cry just seeing his smiling face next to her.

It was hard enough to get out of bed in the morning. She stayed in bed, feigning sickness to her parents. She didn’t go to school that day…

She got a text immediately when first period started.

Where tf are you? -MJ

I’m sick -[Name]

Oh, not you’re not, you’re letting that boy take over your emotions -MJ

[Name] began to write her a message back, but she couldn’t figure out the right words.

Alright, I have second period off, I’m coming over to your house with chocolate, ice cream, and whatever else you want, but you’re not going to stay in bed all day thinking of someone who treated you like shit. -MJ

[Name] sighed, maybe she should’ve just went to school.

“I know, Michelle! It’s just that he used to call me—”

“[Name], he used to call you sweetheart and baby. It doesn’t matter anymore. He used to have the words.”

“You’re right, I need to get over him.” [Name] ran her fingers through her hair, trying to collect her thoughts. “He did. I don’t need him anymore. I deserve better.”

Michelle put a small smile on her face. “Now that’s the spirit! Here, eat this.” She handed the other girl one of her favorite candy bars.

[Name] took the candy bar and ripped off the wrapper. She lifted it to her mouth and she caught a whiff of it. “I can’t eat this, MJ. I feel like I’m going to be sick.”

“You haven’t eaten anything, have you?”

[Name] held her head down, disappointed in herself. “I just can’t eat anything right now. I’m sorry.”

“Just promise me that you’ll eat something soon, okay?”

[Name] did eventually eat, it took her about a week or so to get back to where she was eating full meals and about a month before she was laughing and smiling again. It was a hard break up, but there was nothing that she could do about it.

Thanks to her friends, she began to feel like herself again. And she realized that she doesn’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. Of course, she’ll always have love Peter and wish him the best, but they weren’t friends anymore.

Peter realized that his mistake too late. He had brought a card and a bouquet of her favorite flowers. As he walked up to [Name]’s locker, [Name] had someone else with her: her new significant other. He really did have the words, but she didn’t need them anymore. Or him.

Tags (if you want to be tagged, fill out this form):

Permanent Tags-

@golden-guide @assbuttlikepie

Peter Parker-

@sugacravings @graceisobsessed @manucristiny

[seoftheart]

I was tagged by @hiimcaroline, thank you for tagging me❤️

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last

1. drink - iced coffee  2. phone call - aunt 3. text message - uHHH LOL that was so long ago ahahah but I think @the-draculina 4. song you listened to - boy, nct u - yestoday is like a mandatory daily listening for me lol 5. time you cried - like, 5 minutes ago :)

ever

6. dated someone twice - no :) 7. kissed someone and regretted it - no 8. been cheated on - no  9. lost someone special - yes 10. been depressed - yeah  11. gotten drunk and thrown up - acutally no

fave colours

12. citrus green 13. white 14. lately it’s been yellow too!

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes 16. fallen out of love - i don’t think so..  17. laughed until you cried - yes :D 18. found out someone was talking about you - so many people seem to hate me tbh so yeah 19. met someone who changed you - i don’t think so 20. found out who your friends are - not really, i think it’s a never-ending process tbh 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - on the cheek, yes

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - most of them, around 90% i’d say 23. do you have any pets - i acknowledge only my cat, the dog is my sister’s and my dad’s 24. do you want to change your name - actually yes but idk into what really LOL i think i’ll just keep it 25. what did you do for your last birthday - studied for an exam that got cancelled :) 26. what time did you wake up today - at 9h, then 9:30h, then 10h and ultimately at 11:30h 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - trying to decide on which film to watch (ended up watching nothing) 28. what is something you cant wait for - die. 30. what are you listening to right now - nothing tbh 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - uh, i don’t think so 32. something that’s getting on your nerves -  lies, laziness, ignorance, trying to look smart when you aren’t 33. most visited website - messenger and youtube  34. hair colour - blonde but i really want to go for pink fsgsfh  35. long or short hair - short as of a week ago 36. do you have a crush on someone  - uh?????? yes but not really??? i don’t really know :) 37. what do you like about yourself - i always say nothing for questions like these lol 38. want any piercings? - i do!! but..the pain...i’m not ready for that, i’m weak :)  39. blood type - i’ve never checked lol  40. nicknames - Lene, Leney 41. relationship status - :) does it look like i have a boyfriend  42. zodiac - aries sun, gemini moon 43. pronouns - she 44. fave tv shows - i really liked grey’s anatomy once but then all my favourite characters got killed off so :) i like kdramas like moon lovers and it’s okay it’s love, give me all the angst yes 45. tattoos - none and i don’t want them tbh 46. right or left handed - right-handed 47. ever had surgery -  nope 48. piercings - only the regular ones on my ears 49. sport - idk her. 50. vacation - i hope to go to the usa this summer and i’m going to greece with friends :)) 51. trainers - i’m so stupid for this stuff, anything works as long as it matches the clothes i wear lol

more general

52. eating - had a toast just now 53. drinking - water  54. i’m about to watch - i really want to watch a film but i feel so tired aaa  55. waiting for - so many things, boy :) 56. want - to find a cheap flat tbh 57. get married - i really want to, but after finishing uni and finding a decent job. oh, and after actually getting a boyfriend.  58. career - i wish to work as a translator or in a publishing company as an editor?? anything that has to do with languages or literature, just not a teacher pls :)

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs 60. lips or eyes - eyes 61. shorter or taller - taller 62. older or younger - older 63. nice arms or stomach - nICE CHUBBY STOMACH YES #feedtheidols #freethechubby #heleneforthepresident thank you 64. hookup or relationship - relationship  65. troublemaker or hesitant - uhhh hesitant?

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no  67. drank hard liquor - yeah  68. lost glasses - no  69. turned someone down - yes 70. sex on first date - no  71. broken someone’s heart - maaybe..  72. had your heart broken - yes 73. been arrested - no  74. cried when someone died - yes 75. fallen for a friend - oh boy, maybe

do you believe in

76. yourself - not really 77. miracles - no 78. love at first sight - probably  79. santa claus - no 80. kiss on a first date - yes 81. angels - no

other

82. best friend’s name - private  83. eye colour - blue 84. fave movie - the barber of siberia  85. fave actor - robin williams

whew this took me longer than i expected! :D i tag @the-draculina @j-hopes-lady @selenophiille @yeahyeahsc sry i don’t even have 20 friends

only do it if you want to, though ❤️ ❤️

[twigsnbones]

I am tired but oh another Tag Meme

Tagged by @fliederfuchs. Oh boi, so many questions.

1. Coke or Pepsi: Coke.

2. Disney or DreamWorks: I really don’t have an opinion for this.

3. Coffee or Tea: Tea, too much coffee gives me hearts problems. But... so... good...

4. Books or Movies:  I really want to read more but I get distracted so easily. It really depends, but I’d rather purchase a book than a movie.

5. Windows or Mac: Windows

6. DC or Marvel: No opinion for this

7. Xbox or Playstation: Nintendo

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: ????

9. Night Owl or Early Rise: I wish I wasn’t, but I am a Night Owl at heart.

10. Cards or Chess: Cards. Chess triggers me.

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate!!

12. Vans or Converse: I have no idea. Neither.

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: I literally have no idea what any of this is.

14. Fluff or Angst: I am that type of person that only reads completed fics and reads the end first to see if it’s a happy ending or not. So take your guess.

15. Beach or Forest: Both is cool. But I kinda prefer the beach, because it is far away and you can’t get lost that easily.

16. Dogs or Cats: Both. But I think a cat would suit me better.

17. Clear Skies or Rain: Rain and staying inside, please.

18. Cooking or Eating Out: Eating out, but not alone. I enjoy cooking with others, too, but idk, eating out has that vibe somehow

19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: I once ate at my ex-boyfriends house and they had chili. And even though their mother literally added nothing spicy to it I teared up. So yeah, no spicy nachos at the theatre for me.

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Absolutely both. Halloween is really cool bc of Autumn and the spoopy and the witchcrafts but Christmas was the only time of the year where everyone in our family pretended to get along with each other.

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too warm: A little too cold. I just die every summer and I hate it.

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? Any kind of control over time.

23. Animation or Live Action: I prefer animation.

24. Paragon or Renegade: What is this

25. Baths or Showers: Both. I like bathing but only once in a while.

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: uhhh

27. Fantasy or Sci-fi: Fantasy, I guess

28. Do you have three or four favorite quotes? I can’t think of any, actually.

29. YouTube or Netflix: YouTube.

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: I am a little more into Percy Jackson

31. When Do You Feel Accomplished? I don’t know, I just don’t right now.

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Neither

33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: Paperback!

34. Handwriting or Typing: I like handwriting more.

35. Velvet or Satin: No preference

36. Video Games or Movies: If I had to choose I would take movies.

37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon? Be one.

38. Sunrise or sunset: Sunset.

39. What’s your favorite song? Right now it’s “No faith in Brooklyn” by Hoodie Allen

40. Horror Movies yes or no: Yes but no screamers pls.

41. Long hair or short hair: On me short, on others mostly long

42. Opera or Theatre: I am more into theatre

43: Assuming the multiverse theory is true and every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first? Oh god this is tough. First I thought of Detective Conan/Magic Kaito but there’s just too much murder. Maybe a peaceful AU of that. Ugh you know what: I would just write my own stuff and then travel there. Oh god that would be the coolest thing. I would travel to the story a friend of mine and me are writing together.

44: Are you scared of thunderstorms? I love thunderstorms so much

45. Would you rather travel back in time or into the future? Back in time. Forever. Just repeating the last few years over and over again

46. What is, in your opinion, the most pointless/unnecessary thing ever invented? Gender roles

47. Favorite band/artist? FewJar and Alligatoah

48. If you could meet a Famous person that’s either Dead or Alive who would it be? Jan Philipp Zymny, Taddl and Marti Fischer

49: How old were you when you had your first kiss? Idk, maybe 12ish. It was dumb. Very dumb.

50: Favorite TV Show: Magic Kaito, Steven Universe

51: What is your dream outfit? Tuxedo with a dumb tie. With ducks.

52. Who would you like to be for a day? I don’t want to answer this one.

53. Pick two of your favourite characters from different fantasy universes and shove them into a modern au where they’re rivals from first meeting but slowly become rivals with friends, what would it be like? (They’d still have their powers if they had any, and accustomed to certain terms or slang from their universe) Oh god... I would choose Kaito KID (Magic Kaito/Detective Conan) and Kyoya Tategami (Beyblade) and this would be a catastrophy. Kyoya would hate Kaito so much at first and hlafhfj I kinda want to write/draw something for that

54. Pineapple on pizza: yes or no? Nah. Please don’t. I don’t care if you love pineapple on pizza but this is just not my world.

55. Take a photo/video or be in the photo/video? No duders, sry.

New Question: 56. Do you possess the skill of synaesthesia and if yes, how does it show in you? I don’t really have that skill, unfortunately.

Oh god this was a ride. Time to go to bed. Ugh.

[katyaton]

These Things Are Fun Lets Give It a Go

Tagged by the lovely @mygeekcorner​ !!! 

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. (…. yeah not doing that one sry)

tagging: Whoever wants to do it!!! I’d love to get to know people better :) I’m also shy and would like to tag more but don’t want to overstep my bounds. @dreamsinteacups @rollertoasteroflife @booksncupcakes @ramigo and @totallynotanobody and @nakedpasta (you last two can just tell me in person if you want, haha)

1.      coke or pepsi: Coke!!! Drinking Pepsi where I live is basically blasphemy. 

2.      disney or dreamworks:  Both excel at different things. Hard to pick just one, really. Depends on my mood. 

3.      coffee or tea: I feel like by now most of you know, but Tea all day everyday. 

4.      books or movies: books

5.      windows or mac: windows…. I have so many issues with macs i swear the computers can sense my fear.

6.      dc or marvel: Gotta go with marvel. Their universe and interwoven story lines are A+.

7.      xbox or playstation: Playstation - it’s what I grew up with as a kid.

8.      dragon age or mass effect: neither. don’t play them.

9.      night owl or early riser: Night owl

10.  cards or chess: Cards - I feel like there are a lot more games you can play with them.

11.  chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate!

12.  vans or converse: Converse I suppose

13.  lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: ????

14.  fluff or angst: I need a healthy dose of both. It also depends on my mood, but I have to say that i’m slightly partial to angst. 

15.  beach or forest: Beach if I had to choose.  

16.  dogs or cats: Cats!!

17.  clear skies or rain: Definitely rain

18.  cooking or eating out: Eating out can be fun, but i’m also cheap and really like to stay inside, so probably cooking more 

19. Spicy food or mild food: I like a bit of spice on things, but overall most of my food is on the milder side. 

20.  halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Halloween is good but I love the atmosphere surrounding Christmas and just the general good cheer and attitude. 

21.  would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Where I live is super hot so I’d have to say cold. Also, when you’re cold you can always put on more layers. There’s only so many things you can take off when you’re too hot.

22.  if you could have a superpower, what would it be: I’ve been adamant about this for several years. I would choose teleportation. Just think how much money you’d save? No more plane tickets, no more paying for cars/car insurance…. You’d also never be late to anything, ever and your commute time would be zero! And if a bad guy is near you you can just teleport away!

23.  animation or live action: Depends on the subject matter. If it’s more fantasy I’d say animation. If it’s more entrenched in drama I’d say live action.

24.  paragon or renegade: ????

25.  baths or showers: showers  

26.  team cap or team ironman:  I love them both dearly but I have to say I’m partial to Cap. He’s just so pure and good.

27.  fantasy or sci-fi: I really love both, but I think I ere on the side of fantasy

28. do you have three or four  favourite quotes? if so what are they:

“I want that” (via Napoleon Dynamite)

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”  (Dr. Seuss)

“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.”

(J.K Rowling…. this was actually my senior quote in my year book)

29.  youtube or netflix: netflix

30.  harry potter or percy jackson: Harry potter, however I really also love Percy Jackson as well. They’re both good boys. 

31.  when you feel accomplished: when i finish reading a 150,000 + fanfic in 1-2 days. 

32.  star wars or star trek: star trek.

33.  paperback books or hardback books: Paper back only because it’s less expensive. I understand that hardbacks are superior though.

34. horror or rom-com: Probably horror, although it can’t be one of those super cheap horrors that rely on jump scare or whatever. It needs to be legit and interesting. 

35.  to live in a world without literature or music: What would be the point to life???

36.  pastel colours or dark colours: Pastels

37.  tv shows or movies: shows - you stay with the characters longer and there’s more time for character development and complicated plots.

38.  city or countryside: City. I like the country for like… a few days, but then after that I get really board. As much of an introvert as I am I still need things going on around me to be happy.

39.  if any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: Don’t get me started on this pseudo-psychology….. (*whispers* prob a virgo)

40.  if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: Oh god this is hard. I don’t really listen to albums, mostly just individual songs that I like. If I had to pick one, though, at this point I’d choose Hamilton. 

41.  cinema or theatre: cinema simply because I rarely, if ever, go the to theatre. I know I enjoy it, but it just happens so rarely that I can’t really compare the two.

42.  if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: Yuuri Katsuki or Kuroko Tetsuya. I feel like with both we’d get along really, really well.

43.  smiling or smirking: Smiling. Smirking has a rather negative connotation, no?

44.  are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent: Consistent

45.  playlists or your whole library on shuffle: Playlists. If I shuffle things I always end up skiping until it gets to the song I actually want. 

46.  travelling or staying at home: Traveling, but it can’t be 24/7. I definitely need time to recharge at home once in a while.

47.  books or fanfiction: Both are great, but tbh like most of us I have only really read fanfic recently. I have a few published books that I’m currently trying to get through, though!

48.  If you could live in a fantasy world, what world would it be: Probably Harry Potter, but only if I was a witch. Having magic would solve so many of my problems!

49. your favorite cartoon: It’s kinda up for debate whether it’s an anime or cartoon, but I’m calling it a cartoon made in the anime style simply because it’s not Japanese made. Avatar the last airbender/Legend of Korra

50.  name the weirdest five songs on your itunes, current or past: Hmmmm ok here’s what I came up with

Chum Drum Bedrum Ok I love this song so much. The singer completely describes how I am as a person: hella awkward, long and lanky, and flowy. He represents me on so many levels. 

2-1 by Imogen Heap Not a lot of people know about this song but I find it so intriguing and interesting. Definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, though. 

Wide Eyed by Animal Collective This song is what it sounds like if you're on LSD, I imagine. 

Five Night’s at Freddy’s Song 1 This song is very strange - it’s based off of a horror computer game - but you have to admit it’s jammin.

Seaboard Rise 49 Literally heard this song at a music museum and it’s the most lit keyboard song you will ever hear I guarantee it!!!

51. mountains or plains: mountains

52. favorite anime (or tv show if you don’t watch anime): Yuri on ice (of course), Death Note, Death Parade, Kuroko no Basket, Ouran High School Host Club, and Erased. (sorry couldn’t pick just one!)

53. which social media platform are you most like yourself on: Tumblr in terms of personality I suppose, but since I try to not post everything about my life on here there are a lot of things missing that don’t really come through. I’d say facebook simply because almost everything about me is uploaded on there, by one person or another. I’ve had my facebook since I was in 7th grade, so it’s really documents my life almost. I’m not really into any other social media other than those two. So in conclusion, tumblr in terms of personality, facebook in terms of being able to open up more about my life.

54. What are some of your passions: I am in love with the brain. I think that it is akin to the deep ocean or the universe - there are so many things we do not understand about it. It also houses our personality, every thought, memory, emotion. Every little nuance that makes us human. Yet it really is just a collection of water, lipids, proteins, and neurotransmitters, yet somehow in all of that we have developed a complex sense of self. Are our personalities really separate entities, or are they just a complex construct that our advanced brains have superimposed to make sense of the chaotic word that we live in??? Basically I want to research some sort of neuroscience/biopsychology related field. 

I also love genetics for similar reasons… I find it fascinating that some sort of elemental coding for our functioning lives inside us. 

I’ve also found a new passion for writing as of late :)