#started reading it way before that tho. probably at least a year or two ago.

[peridhot]

Cursed Princess Club by Lambcat

Meet Gwendolyn – living proof that princesses don’t always have it all. See, although she lives in a castle and her father is the King, Gwendolyn isn’t like a movie princess, or even a fairly-tale princess. She’s got a big heart, but isn’t particularly attractive and doesn’t have a Disney-quality singing voice. But one night, she accidentally stumbles upon the twisted world of the Cursed Princess Club, and her life will never be the same. Hexed and cast out, the ladies of the club are just the people Gwendolyn needs to show her that just because she doesn’t “fit the mold” does not mean she’s any less of a princess.

Read to completion.

Wow.... Okay, first thing's first: it was a really good story. I love drama, and this series certainly had it. The Plaid Queen especially kept me on my toes frequently. Everything about her story... it was like she drove the drama lol. I love her. Anyway, the story itself was very charming, though it did feel as though it dawdled at some points (and to be fair, it's very possible that they only felt that way because reading on a weekly basis is far different from binge reading). Now, that said, let me admit something: I... honestly don't remember a lot of it. Not that it's forgettable by any means!! I just... have a bad memory. Reading for multiple years, with breaks included, just means that I'm bound to forget some things. So, sadly, unless I do a full reread, I won't be able to give a full and proper summary of my feelings on the story. Based on what I do recall, though, the story is very good!! Some of the jokes and humor is somewhat dated, but not horrifically so. I thought Gwen's journey to self acceptance and appreciation was beautifully done. I will say (unrelated to Gwen's journey), it felt like the small picture was occasionally lost to the big picture. Case in point being that the cast of the cursed princesses was thinned out significantly as time went on, and less time was spent in the club as well, to the point that we could almost forget about them all, which is sad. Not that I hate Gwen's journey, but I was genuinely very excited to see a story about cursed princesses, emphasis on the plural, and to see more of their daily lives with their curses. I was saddened that we didn't do that. Well, we did it for a short while, but I mean that I wanted to do it for longer, you know? Some of my favorite princesses were left at the wayside for pursuit of the bigger picture, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it was kind of disappointing. Other than that, I've never been one who greatly enjoyed open ended endings, so the vague ending we got, while not bad, wasn't my favorite. It was a very well written ending, but I did want to know more, you know, wanted to see further in the future. What is Blaine's path like? Frederick's rule? Will Gwen move to the Plaid Kingdom to be his Queen one day? What of Maria's future? What about Lorena? Do any of the cursed club members ever break their curses? Did Jamie and Leopold have something? What about the ex-Plaid King, will he ever get to make amends? I don't know... the ending was good, but I wish it had more concrete future stuff. That's just a small opinion, though, and really just a nitpick. Anyway, as for things I enjoyed... I enjoyed the drama (as I said), the cast was strong and interesting, the various curses on the princesses were all pretty interesting and unique, Gwen's journey was well written, as was the start of the journey for Blaine, and Frederick's journey... there was a lot that was really well done! Overall, it was a very enjoyable webtoon, and it's sad it's ending. Thank you, Lambcat, for giving us this wonderful story. I would read it again.

[artzee-bee]

Forever my love | Adrien Agreste x reader

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Requested by @oyasumimosura

Summary: friends to strangers to lovers with a no-so-happy ending

Genre: some fluff, angst

Warnings: canon typical violence (maybe tuned up a notch tho), death

A/N: my google doc for this piece is 10 pages long and it’s went through at least 4 alternate endings before getting here. I got this request months ago and have been working on it since, whenever I can. I hope this is alright because it’s been a journey...

~~~

There was no ‘first memory’ with you. Not one that would come to Adrien’s mind anyways. It felt like you had simply always been in his life. The only thing he remembered was you and your mother, entering the Agreste mansion as if it was your own, almost every Sunday. His mom would welcome both of you with wide arms and offer you tea, and biscuits, which you would snuck to Adrien’s room. Your favorite have always been the ones with strawberry jam filling.

And then you’d play for hours! Building fortresses out of chairs and pillows, racing toy cars around the room, saving plush animals from the imminent danger of Adrien’s rocketship and so on. Not a single moment spent with you felt boring! Your presence was addictive, the joy, the excitement you brought with yourself every time was something Adrien couldn’t understand at the time but now, as an adult looking back, he could easily recognise it as love.

But the world has its own way of never quite letting you be happy enough. The memory of your last playdate, as well as the day his parents told him you were moving away, were very hazy and unclear. For years he refused to revisit them, the sorrow too great for his young, immature self to know how to handle. Now, there was only one sentence he could remember you saying, clear as day. One promise that gave him more hope than he could put in words. “We’ll keep in touch”.

You exchanged letters the whole time you were away!! Of course, they could never be a substitute for the time spent together but Adrien learned to appreciate them deeply. He took his time responding to each of them and always nervously awaited your response. Years went on like that! Every summer you’d promise to visit and every time Adrien would have the displeasure of having to read, in your flawless and delicate handwriting, that your parents canceled the trip for whatever reason.

Eventually, he decided it was best to move on. In the time you had been gone many things changed: he grew up, got big in the fashion industry, started school, became the new black cat miraculous holder, made friends! His life became overwhelmingly busy and the precious memories you made together faded away without notice. He found joy in other things and in his new friends! Your letters no longer brought the excitement they once did and consequently, he always postponed replying until eventually, it all stopped.

Much to Adrien’s shock, almost exactly a year after losing contact, he saw you! He had been transformed at the time, having just finished defeating an akuma when he saw you exiting a coffee shop down the street. He couldn’t believe his eyes and had it not been for the alarming beeping of his miraculous, he probably would have stayed petrified on top of that roof much longer. Once detransformed, he tried to go looking for you but to no avail.

It wasn’t until a week later that he finally got to talk to you again. Natalie reached out to your family and arranged for you two to meet. That Friday afternoon, you had lunch at a pizza place that you didn’t recognise. He looked the same. Same innocent glimmer in his eyes and ecstatic voice. It almost weirded you out how much it seemed this boy never changed. But of course, you weren’t right. Many things have changed.

Adrien tried his best to be open and friendly. To him, it felt like no time had passed at all, but you were so quiet and shy. A subtle frown was visible on your face from the moment you arrived and you barely looked him in the eyes. The air around you felt thick with discomfort, which was extremely frustrating to Adrien. He wanted to ask what’s wrong but found it so difficult to speak his mind until, eventually, you opened up yourself.

“Why did you stop writing?” your voice didn’t betray any feeling of anger or sadness and yet, Adrien was instantly washed over with guilt

“I’m sorry. I wanted to but…”

“Was I not worth it?”

“What?” Adrien couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth, but you were just as still and cold as before

“Because, you see, when we were kids you were one of the most important people in my life. You were my best friend and I honestly thought we would never ever be apart! No one could ever break us up! And I put everything I had into not losing that, convinced that you’d do the same for me! Because your friendship was worth more to me than any number of kilometers between us!” your words fell out quickly and stung him “Was I not worth fighting for, Adrien?”

He didn’t know what to say! He wanted to tell you he was just stupid and made a grave mistake. That you were more than worth it, but the words were stuck in his throat.

You didn’t speak after that. Adrien was heartbroken but figured you were already so mad at him, it would only make it worse if he kept pestering you on.

Eventually, one night, after patrol, he saw you! It was already way after dark and you were just strolling down the street all alone. A sense of anxiety overtook him and he knew he couldn’t go home just yet

“Good evening pretty lady!” he greeted you, full of glee. “The streets can get pretty nasty this late at night, y’know? Hope you don’t mind if this street cat walks alongside you for a while.”

“Hello Chat Noir!” your voice was so smooth and warm “ I’d really love that. I was actually quite uncomfortable walking alone.” “Well then, fear not!The bravest and strongest hero in all of Paris is right here at your service! Did I also mention the most charming?” you giggled to his silliness

Adrien was ecstatic to get to talk to you again, like old times. He finally felt like he got his friend back! He didn’t even realize how big of a hole your absence had left in his life. After that night, he would accompany you everyday on your evening walks and, soon enough, you began hanging out at your house. Oftentimes he would knock on your bedroom window shortly after you got home from school and more often than not, he would spend hours at your place. You did almost everything together from playing video games to watching movies, cooking, gossiping. He would tell you all the fun stories he had with Ladybug from their patrols and would blush a little when you began laughing uncontrollably. It was just too cute.

With all this joy, still there was an ounce of pain at the idea that you didn’t know who you were really talking to. Almost every time you called him Chat, his heart would sting a little. He liked being Chat Noir. He loved it even. With you however, it just felt like one big lie he could do nothing about. He wanted you to look at him and see the boy from all those years ago. To look at him and call him by his name. To rejoice in old memories, instead of him having to pretend he hears the story for the first time. Adrien couldn’t help but feel like he was betraying you by simply being here, knowing how mad you were with his civilian self. When those thoughts got to him, he felt more alone than ever, but you almost always picked up on it

“What’s wrong?” you would ask and the sweetness of your voice ran like ice down his body. You would not be this kind if you knew

“Absolutely nothing, I am doing wonderful” he’d say through gritted teeth

“Sit down and talk to me!”

“I can’t. It’s personal” which you knew really meant “It would put my identity in danger”

So you would shut up. You’d make tea or let him have the last cookie as a sign of solidarity. To let him know you still cared. Sometimes he would ask you for hugs, which you would indulge him in. You’d wrap your arms around his shoulders and hug him tight to your chest, trying to convey all the love and care you had for him in that one gesture. Almost always, the hero would melt into your embrace as if he’d never been held before. His head would rest on your shoulder and his blonde locks tickled your neck and cheek.

Confessing to you was the biggest risk he ever took, which meant a lot considering his occupation. It happened after yet another game of cards lost by Chat. It had been what felt like his 15th loss of the night and in a futile attempt to protect his remaining dignity, he slipped

“You’re only winning cause I love you too much to let you lose!” the cocky attitude dropped instantly as he processed his choice of words. You were just looking at him, a little quizzingly, unsure if you heard him right.

“Do you mean that?”

“I do”

The brightest smile overtook your features instantly “Good. I love you too!”

It was difficult for a long time. The secret identity issue became even greater with the new level of intimacy that was expected with the start of a romantic relationship. On top of that, Adrien was pretty clueless. You were his first girlfriend, the first girl he ever fell in love with, the pressure was high. He wanted to be the best boyfriend there was! He brought you many gifts, big and small. He spent as much time with you as he could, he always told you just how much you actually meant to him. The blush on your cheeks and the witty comebacks made him melt through his seat every time and with every happy memory he made with you came the unmistakable pain of never really being completely honest with you. On one of your sleepovers, the feelings were overwhelming Chat more than he thought was possible

“What’s going on Chat?”

“Nothing darling. Just tired”

“Come on, you know you can’t fool me! You’ve been quiet all night, it’s really unlike you”

Adrien’s mind went empty when you sat on the floor in front of him, lightly running your fingers over his leather clad ones. The trust and love in your eyes was so mesmerizing. No one had ever looked at him like that and for a split second he imagined your reaction if you knew who he was. He wondered if you’d kick him out. Break up with him here and now and never want anything to do with him ever again. He imagined the anger in your voice, the betrayal. And then, he considered, briefly, a different option. A scenario in which you’d hug him tight and kiss the top of his head, and there’d be no more lies. No more secrets, no more of these impossible feelings that were tormenting him. That smile, that bliss, engulfed his mind and he felt powerless in the face of hope.

“I’m sorry” he said weakly

“For what?” and before he could think for another second, talk himself out or consider the consequences of his actions, he did the only thing he felt was logical

“Plagg, claws in”

When the green light vanished and Adrien found himself back in his normal clothes, he didn’t muster to look at your face

“Chat, what are you doing?” finally, he glanced up, only to find you curled up on the ground, with your hands over your eyes. You hadn’t seen him

“It’s ok.”

“You detransformed?”

“Yes…”

“Chat you can’t do that.”

“I want you to see me” he tried to sound confident, but it came out almost as a plea.

“What about Ladybug?”

“I’ll deal with her later. It’s ok. I swear”

“Chat…”

“Please”

Adriean reached out to pull your hands away from your face, but your eyes were still closed

“Chat?”

“Yes?”

“Before I look, I want you to know that I love you regardless of who you are. If you’re doing this because you think I can’t love you fully without knowing your identity, if you’re doing this for me, please know that this won’t change anything. I want you to be comfortable with this, ok?” Adrien blushed, feeling tears well up in his eyes

“I want to do this” he kissed your knuckles “if that’s ok with you”

Slowly, you opened your eyes and Adrien felt his heart beating out of his chest. Your face went soft and your eyes welled up with tears and you looked at eachother. You couldn’t muster a word and neither could he. He took this as you being disappointed and let go of your hand, only for you to grab it once more, much harder than before. Finally, tears came rolling down your cheeks, as you whispered a simple “I love you”

That night, neither of you could stop crying. The liberation of all secrets and all lies felt divine and finally, Adrien felt like he was 100% safe for the first time in his life.

Many things changed after that. Adrien got a serious scolding from Ladybug, since he couldn’t lie to her about what he’s done. She wasn’t as mad as he expected her to be, so in the end it was all worth it when you began showing up to the Agreste mansion to hang out. It was hard for Adrien to find time to spend with her during the day but Natalie was always so understanding of their relationship and tried her best to squeeze in an hour or two here and there for you! Now, Adrien could hold your hand and take you to his photoshoots. You facetimed more often and it finally felt like you got the relationship you were always meant to have.

~~~

Paris looked beautiful from the top of the Eiffel tower. Chat took you here many times before. It felt so romantic being up there with your best friend, the boy of your dreams! You felt so powerful looking down at all the lights and cars passing by and at the same time so protected by his tight grip around your waist. Nothing could hurt you if he was there, with or without the costume! But the arms holding you now were much slimmer and much less concerned with your safety. You knew you shouldn’t look down from the edge you were standing on but it was so hard not to. Lila was manic next to you, laughing and shouting about her imminent victory, taunting the two superheroes that were struggling to catch up.The tiny robots Lila could control with her powers had kept Ladybug and Chat Noir busy for just enough time to allow the akumatized girl to take you with her, away from the scene and up here.

“Be careful with what you do next Ladybug, otherwise the girl gets it!” the taunting manner in which she spoke felt hardly like Lila. You never found her to be a particularly pleasant person to be around but the malice with which she spoke now was so unusual!

She kicked your shin, making one of your legs drop off the edge. Had it not been for her holding onto your forearm, you would have dropped. You could see Ladybug and Chat approaching but they were so far away and it felt like they were moving so slowly. A cry ripped through your chest as you hung there, your life in the hands of this girl you couldn’t even recognise anymore.You were trying to pull yourself back on the ledge with your other foot before she kicked that one too, swinging you in the air by your arm.

“Oh oh, but you’re so far away little Bug? Whatever are you gonna do if my hand …slips?” she let go with a chuckle.

Chat couldn’t see anything around him anymore, all he saw was your helpless body falling from the sky! He screamed your name but he was still so far! Ladybug threw her yoyo, trying to form a net below you, but the speed at which you were falling was much greater than anybody expected. You fell right through the net, breaking it to pieces and hit the ground with a hard thud. Chat screamed, Ladybug was speechless, all the while Lila was laughing on her way down!

“Chat, get her! I’ll handle Lila!”

That’s all it took. Chat was looking down at your unconscious form before he knew it. You were so bloody and so limp in his arms.

“Don’t!” you whispered when he tried to pick you up

“It’s not safe for you here, I need to hide you away!” he almost screamed, too relieved to see you alive to be able to control himself

“It’s over Chat!”

“Don’t talk like that! You will be ok! I will make you ok!”

“I’m tired…”

“No, don’t do it! Focus on me, focus on my voice! Can you see me?”

“You have to protect the people…”

“You are the only one I have to protect! I’m sorry I wasn’t there to catch you, I’m sorry! Please! Please let me protect you!” tears were streaming down his face and he found himself thinking that he would sell his soul to switch places with you

“Chat, I love you” you said through your own tears

“Don’t say goodbye!”

“I’m not”

“I love you Y/N! I love you so much, please don’t leave me alone! I can still save you!” he laid his head on your chest, not believing his own words

“I’ll always love you Adrian!” you whispered in his ear, kissing his temple with the last of your powers

~~~

“You need to hurry up, Adrian needs to be at a press conference across town in one hour and we’re already behind schedule because of you!”

“Nathalie, stop that! Everyone is doing their best here.”

“This photoshoot was supposed to be over already!”

“Maybe you should go have some water while you wait, yeah?” Adrien was trying to be nice but he felt really bad about the way Nathalie was speaking to the makeup artist. He knew they were very busy and Nath was under a great deal of stress but still, he felt it wasn’t fair to the girls working hard to get him ready.

“I’m sorry about that! She’s a lovely person, it’s just the last couple of days have been really hard for her”

“Oh, it’s alright, sir. Trust me I’ve seen much worse before” the young girl replied “Plus, I would imagine that making the switch to become a full time model would bring on a lot more responsibilities on her side.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Adrien chuckled. “If you would have told me last year, when I was still in school, that my schedule would be even more packed as a graduate, I would have probably given up modeling then and there. Now I just deal with it.”

Adrien observed himself in the mirror, thinking back to his high school days. He tried to remember what he looked like, although that was very difficult. He knew his hair was much longer now, reaching just below his chin. He thought his face was a bit slimmer and many people told him he put on a healthy amount of muscle in the last couple of months, but  he was still himself, just 20.

“If you don’t mind sir, we need the first couple of buttons of your shirt undone for the next set. I will add a little contour to the collarbones and then we’re done”

Said and done, with the first few buttons open he looked even more manly than before.

“Um, I think we should take the necklace off if you don’t mind…”

Eyes shot down to his chest, where a tiny silver ring on a chain hung, barely glistening in the lights around.

“Yes, that’s alright” he said, although he never liked taking it off. There was always a worry in the back of his hand about misplacing it or something and the thought was simply unbearable, but he understood.

“That’s a very beautiful piece of jewelry”

“Thank you!” he looked down at the ring twirling it between his fingers. It was so simple, he wasn’t used to receiving compliments on it, even from the select few that got to see it. A simple golden band with a round diamond in the middle. It was so small for him, he could never get it more than halfway down his ring finger. “It belonged to somebody I cared a lot about.” He remembered how hard he worked to get your ring size, all those years ago. It was difficult to do it behind your back, since you had always been so good at reading his body language, you always knew when he was up to something. He remembered all those nights spent on the internet, looking for the perfect ring for you! He knew it needed to be simple but sometimes it was so hard to talk himself out of buying one of the big and glamorous ones. He just wanted to spoil you rotten and if he didn’t take the chance to do that when he was buying your engagement ring, then when would he? Finally, after weeks, he finally found this one and fell in love. It was perfect for you and you were gonna love it. The day it arrived was one of the most exciting times he experienced in the last decade, he could still feel his heart pumping now, at the memory.

“They can’t wear it anymore so I just keep it!” in fact, you had never even gotten the chance to try it on, but those details don’t need to be shared. Still, thinking about the incident, taking place only 2 weeks after he got the ring, hurts him to no end. He was planning the perfect engagement, a grand romantic gesture to make all your dreams come true but now he felt sorrow and regret, wishing he would have simply ran to your door the same day that package was delivered to ask you. At least then you would have known, you would have had the chance to say yes.

“I’m sure they were an incredible person” Adrien only nodded to that “Well, you’re all done, you can head to the set now”

“Thank you, I’ll just drop this off to Nathalie and go”

The pain of not having you around would never go away, Adian had accepted that as a fact! You would always be there for any anniversary or birthday, achievement or simply on lazy days when his mind would wonder. Nothing made the sting of not being able to hold your hand go away but at least the ring, your ring, would comfort him in those moments.

[thatonecrookedsmile]

It's been a little over a month since I read FTB and I wanted to do (and say, I think) a few things related to it. So here, take this. FTB stuff I was wanting to share.

Including some drawings/my designs for some characters (the ones above), some separate sketches, and giving some long thoughts on the book. (This post is looong so I'm going to put everything under the curtain. Enjoy!)

Starting: Rose, Evan and Archie. They are the ones that, I admit, are what I wanted to draw/design most while/after I read the book. Now, at least, if I want to make something involving one of these three one day, I have designs ready to go! Hooray! Evan is the only one of the three that I actually had to design from scratch. With Rose I had made a sketch 1 year ago conceptualizing the idea for her design, and it was only recently that I came back to this idea to finally solidify it. And I had already done Archie's design last year while I was doing my designs for the human cast of BATDR, so I was already prepared without even knowing it.

Also,Ink!Archie!! The poor guy got screwed pretty badly. First two designs in the first image are based on the events in the book. The one on the left is him seen mostly in the book (alive) and the one on the right is when he is in the Ink Realm, post-death. The design in the second image was supposed to be a stylization/variation of his Cycle design. I tried drawing him with a visible mouth/teeth similar to what I did with Sammy in a recent drawing and in some sketches that I didn't post here. I'm not sure about the beard tho. I think I exaggerated it. Next time, remember to draw less beard in this design. (And maybe, for the design that is more "close to canon", don't draw the ends of the hair and beard in the Cycle design)

Any other character in the book, either I don't have a design and I don't plan on making a design for them now, or I do but it will take a while to show them. (I promise I'll show Dot one day)

I also have some additional sketches. So if you want to take a look at that too, here it is:

Ollie Sorenson. This wasn't quite the way I had imagined him when I was reading the book but 1. the hair I tried to draw for him before didn't work out well, so I went another route and 2. Ollie isn't particularly a character in this book that I'm going to I think a lot in comparison to the others (he's still cool, tho) and I doubt I'll make another design for him, so let's go with this one. Not a bad design,so,eh.

Rose. Sketch on the left was made last year. I'm almost certain it was done after the book synopsis was revealed by Kress. The sketch on the right was made last month when I was reading the book. I took the idea from the sketch on the left and tried to solidify her design better.

Evan. Some other sketches made when I read the book. I had just completed his design and wanted to test it a little more to, you know, see if I can actually draw him. Verdict? I think I can.

And now uhhhhhh what I thought of the book! I previously considered doing a separate text post with these thoughts only but I don't do text-only posts in general and if I were to make a separate post it would take a while and it would come out more than 1 month/probably 2 months since I read the book and it would be kinda awkward. And I'm already writing this post, so why not put it all here now, right?

(Warning: My thoughts on the book ended up being MUCH LONGER THAN I EXPECTED TO WRITE. You don't need to read them if you want, they are just more additional and optional things. But if you are going to read them, be warned)

(Spoilers: I may have strayed a little off topic when I started talking about Archie. Don't mention how long his paragraph is, tho)

But yeah, Fade To Black. That was something else, I tell you (and I mean that in a positive way). Probably reading this book after all the fuss that happened about the books a while ago wasn't the best idea possible. But even with…all that in mind, I still wanted to read this for a long time, and I'm glad I went ahead with it. I had a lot of fun with the book! And thinking about it a little over a month after finishing it, I think I can say that this book is up there as, like, one of my favorites of the Bendy books that have been released to date. Before this, I would have considered DCTL my favorite of the books, so I'm somewhere between saying that both of these two are my favorite books in this series and that I like them equally, or that FTB has now become my favorite book of the series, surpassing DCTL. (Maybe I'll have a better idea of ​​this later this year when I reread these books once again)

I really liked the story told, its concept had already interested me since its synopsis was revealed last year - the setting in the 50's, the TV show, the whole 3D glasses thing - so it's no surprise that I was very interested in what this book had to tell. And since I already brought that up: I liked the new concepts it brings to the table,specifically,of course,the glasses and the TV. An idea that,I admit,at first is something I thought was a bit different (and dare i say unusual?) from what I usually see in the Bendy universe (although, it's not something so out of the ordinary from what we've seen before in the series) but I have to say that it's something that I thought was cool even so. 3D glasses that end up transporting your mind into the televised cartoons (and,by all accounts,the ink realm). The jokes I saw that Joey created virtual reality in this book weren't so far-fetched after all lol. But still, it's a concept that I admit to having been interested in, and that it might be cool to play around with in fanon stuff. I also considered this could open doors for other, more "wild" ideas to be explored in the books (as long as they still make sense for a >Bendy< book, of course). I also liked the whole segment taking place in the ink realm at the end of the book, and I hope that this can open up possibilities for future novel stories to take place there, either partially (as in this one) or in full (I accept an entire novel taking place in the cycle,ngl). The additional lore for the ink realm is a nice treat and adds more to what we have in the games. I admit that, at the same time, I feel a little thoughtful about a certain part of this additional lore that - assuming the way I understand it is right - leaves me wondering if this "extended origin" of the cycle coupled with what we already know of its lore would make sense in the games, and how these ideias would be acknowledged in future entries. But at the same time, I may be overthinking this, and the stars may still be aligned, and I've gotten the information wrong. Despite everything, I liked what was told about the ink realm in this book, I appreciate this "extended origin" at the end of the day.

I really liked the cast, both the new ones and the old faces. Rose is great, I really liked her as the protagonist. She's already one of my favorite book characters, I hope we hear from her again in the future. Also, it's good to have a protagonist in these books who survives in the end. Okay, sure, she didn't come out of it 100% unharmed, considering what the ending implies, but still. Again. It's good to have a protagonist in these books who came out of this alive at the end. Evan is also very good. Even though I want to slap him on the back of the head, I also hope to hear from him again, especially considering the way he "exited the story" (is that how you say it?). I talked about the possibility of a future novel taking place in the ink realm, I think that would give a good chance of bringing him back, now as an ink creature. I don't have much to say about Ollie, but I also thought he was cool. The scenes between him and Rose are very nice and the scenes related to the "Bendy Visions" caused by the glasses is another concept that I found very interesting (Tense moments, but cool ones nonetheless) Very happy to see Dot again. I like her character, and I always wanted to see what happened to her after the events of DCTL (TLO had already implied that she was still alive, but I wanted to know more, you know). Her participation in this book is very good, and a chapter that I have to highlight is the one where she meets Rose and they talk in the cafe. Their conversation alone is very good, but the specific part that got me was Dot talking about Buddy, what happened to her after the first book, and Buddy's family. That part was like. A slap in the heart, I'm not going to lie. This chapter made me sad, 10/10. Favorite chapter of the book.

Archie Carter was a big surprise (not really, I already knew he would be here before reading the book), and he is another of my favorite aspects of the book. It's good to see one of the characters from BATDR's human cast ending up being used more in a story. Archie in the game, like other characters we saw in the audio logs in DR, is a "One and done" situation where we only hear from him once and that's it, combined with the fact that he is ultimately just another background character who exists mostly to fill the world and give information that is not necessarily integral to the main things that occur in the game and is more to tell about different things, people and events that were also occurring inside the studio and in the outside world ( those of the lost city and Gent Workshop, essentially) pre-game events. (I really don't know how to explain this properly, but I would say that the "thing" of the information given by the new human cast (with the exception of the Archs) is the same thing as the characters who are giving such information: filling the world. I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying) And while I wouldn't say the information on these tapes is really irrelevant (in Archie's case, he provides some of the most interesting), and in my case, I don't mind the addition of the newbies, I don't blame other people for not being interested, don't get attached to or even dislike these new characters who don't do much in the grand scheme of things in DR and in comparison to the BATIM cast (or at least, the majority of the IM cast). So seeing at least 1 of these newcomers being used more deeply in a story and having their characters expanded is good! And I liked what was done with Archie here. You know the guy who worked at Gent as a test subject and who saw bad things happening at the company? Guess what! Same company screwed up his life and now he's a half-human-half-ink creature guy infected with evil ink and his current situation is not good at all! He's going through horrors unfortunately (especially in the cycle), but I really like what Adrienne did with Archie in this book. Again, he is one of the highlights of this book, and I hope that something similar ends up happening with other DR characters in future stories (manifesting the novel that uses Bill Danton and/or Grace Conway in some capacity 🙌) Plus, I also think it's cool that of all the DR characters to be used, it was the one voiced by SuperHorrorBro who ended up being chosen for this book (I like SHB, what can I say)

Joey (like in the other books) is a standout (and considering what we specifically see of him in this book, he's especially a standout here). More of Allison, even though in the end it's just a small one-scene cameo. Finally, I'm being fed the bread crumbs I craved. And I think now I have another version of Henry to talk about. My collection is growing strong, now I have 3 versions of my favorite old man! Among the new ones, and especially the secondary and tertiary ones, Papa D and Gladys are nice, even though they don't have much time in the story. Oh, and Wilson showed up too. He doesn't do much either, he's just there to be creepy. But I will acknowledge him.

I also enjoyed seeing some of the ideias showcased first in BATDR here (which makes sense, this book came out well after the game finally released). I always found it interesting to see more of Gent in the spotlight, and reading and knowing a little more about the things they were doing after JDS closed is nice. (And I think it's good to see more reaffirmation of what BATDR had already implied. That Gent also had eyes on the Ink Machine even when the studio was still open, and when the studio collapsed, they still continued the ink experiments in their own facilities. Again, this was already something that had been shown in DR, but it's good to see more reaffirmation here) The appearance of the Siverlane Express was something that I really appreciated, even if it was something very short. I ealready talk about Archie in one giant paragraph, and again, Wilson is here too.

There isn't really anything I "disliked" about this book, but at most, I only have a few nitpicks. The Ink Demon appears in the story, but compared to DCTL and TLO, I feel FTB is definitely the book where he appears the least. I mean, yeah, the story isn't about him in the end, but it's still something I managed to notice. I also feel that, in my opinion, this is the least "scary" of the 3. Not that it doesn't have "scary" elements but still, compared to moments in the other books like Buddy in the infirmary, or the TLO trio in the old factory, I don't know if this book would be the most "scary" of the trilogy. However,FTB still has several suspenseful scenes (the Bendy visions, some scenes with Ollie, Archie's pre-introduction, Wilson in the library), which I also like anyway. And I'll admit. While this idea isn't that far out there - and in the context of the story, it makes sense - I kind of raised an eyebrow a little at the whole "using your mind/imagination to get out of the ink realm" thing. It is not bad! And again, with what we saw in the book, this idea actually fits with what we had seen so far in the story. But I can't lie that when we got to this moment I was like "oh, this is something that happened, I guess", you know? But even so, I didn't dislike the idea.

(I once saw someone describe this part of the book as "they canonized no-clipping in Bendy" and you know what? I think that's funny. I think we need to start referring to this idea in the book as that instead of "using the imagination" /hj)

But even so, even with these small "nitpicks", I still had a lot of fun with this book. I really enjoyed reading it, and not only is it now one of my favorite Bendy books so far, I dare say it's one of my favorite things about the franchise in general. Like, if I had to make a top 3 of my favorite things from the Bendy series so far, I'd say it's this book and the first two mainline games. I guess this is to show how much I enjoyed the book!

And with that, my journey with the Bendy books ends. At least, with the books I managed to have access so far. I have no plans to pursue the updated version of the Employee Handbook so far, but from what I've heard and seen so far, I'm not missing anything too important. And the DCTL graphic novel….exists. It's definitely a graphic novel that exists. Dare I say that it is definitely one of the graphic novels of all time, alright. But what have I read so far? It was what I would say, a good journey. I've been interested in the Bendy books for a long time, and it's been a while since I read them, and I'm glad I did, despite recent events. Of course, they have their flaws and problems too, I have things about them that I myself identify as bumps in the road (and that applies to the novel trilogy too btw) But even with them in mind and acknowledging them, I still think that they are worth something. And I hope people still continue to recognize them and give them a chance. Even with its flaws, and with their whole canocity thing that happened a while ago, I still believe that people should check out the books eventually. Give it a chance, you know? If they did, and liked what they read, great! But if they don't like it, that's okay too! In the end, at least they, on both sides, gave it a chance. And that's what I at least want to see. I don't like the idea of ​​discarding these things and pretending they don't exist just because the devs said they aren't canon to the games (because, in my view, just because the books aren't canon doesn't make them without value or that you can't have fun with them after all)

WOW, this is getting long, I think I got carried away. I think that's all I had to say. To conclude everything, here is my list of the Bendy books that I like the most and the ones I like least:

Fade To Black (I've already talked a lot about this book)

Dreams Come To Life (hand in hand with FTB being in first place. It has its flaws, some that may have already been mentioned before, but I still found myself liking it in the end. For a first novel, it worked out fine)

Crack-Up Comics (Really liked the comics. It's good to see more things related to the cartoon characters, and I like some of the characters introduced. Pretty fun stuff)

The Lost Ones (it's not a very "Bendy" focused book compared to the others, and I don't blame those who didn't like this one because of the lack of many Bendy elements, but I confess that I still liked it as much as the other 2, and I loved the protagonists of this one. Even so, of the trilogy, it is the weakest book)

The Illusion of Living (In itself, it's an interesting read. It's really cool to see more of Joey from a deeper angle, and see more of his past. But I confess that it's not my favorite read, and I still prefer the main novels. Not bad, tho)

JDS Employee Handbook (2019) (For the first Bendy book overall, it's not bad, and I like the lore tidbits it has. But compared to the rest, it's actually the weakest)

The TL;DR is: Fade To Black is fun and my favorite, I liked its story and characters. I liked the books. Check them out if you want. If you liked them, cool. If you didn't like them, that's cool too. Read in general.

And if you've read this far: Thank you! And at the same time, I'm sorry! Have a good day/afternoon/night everyone. Peace.

[izzy-b-hands]

15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

Tagged by @sherlockig, thank u Alexz!!

Under the cut bc I got wordy and rambly as per usual lol.

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Kind of? In that I more or less named myself after Izzy from our flag lol. Not that I'm going to tell everyone I meet that, but it is a big part of why I stuck with it after trying it out (that, and I've always wanted a name that had the letter zed in it, silly as that may seem.)

One of my middle names (that I had been using as a first name for a few years) is after my grandfather and aunt who also have that name as their middle name.

My deadname was after an actress famous in the 90s (tho tbh my mum apparently didn't choose it for that, she chose it bc she didn't find out my gender until I was Out and then was like 'aw fuck I don't have a name for this situation' and went with the first one she saw in a book of names a nurse gave her. It was only after that she remembered the actress when I was like. 4. that she changed and started telling ppl it was after that instead.)

And technically Holden is after the book character, but mum never actually read that book (and after I described it to her, said she has no interest in doing so lmao), she just liked how the name sounded and that was the one solitary name she for sure had on hand when I was born apparently. Could have saved us all time had she just used that one for me anyway!

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Couple of nights ago. I'm doing better abt missing my cat Nisha, but my phone will toss up compilations of pics of her to mark the year/month/etc and sometimes those still get me. It popped up just before I went to bed that night and I was already so tired that I just. broke down. Bc I know she's v loved and looked after w/my mum, but I do miss her goofy lil self a lot. She was my first cat that was given to me and meant to be mine alone, and there's something abt that first pet bond I guess.

3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Nope, and it's not a likely thing for me. I've said before that that happening would be in a very specific situation, wherein I'm with someone who wants to dedicate the rest of our lives to raising a child, or god forbid more than one, tho I think I'd max out at two if I managed one at all tbh (and that's not even getting into the very complex for me thing of would I want to actually be pregnant ever (probably not, absolutely terrified of dying in childbirth and don't see myself getting over that easily), we have the funds to make that happen (and give the kid a good life, not just a decent one or 'could have been worse' like my own), and we feel stable mentally, emotionally, and physically (as much as one can outside of Life Happening of course) bc having a kid means putting allll of that first for them, ahead of yourself. Or at least I think it should mean that lol.

But that situation is incredibly unlikely considering my bigger goal in life is to wind up being a third for multiple couples while also fucking any of my friends who are down for it in a big poly ENM sort of thing for lack of better/more detailed definition (I know it sounds unrealistic and maybe it is to a degree, almost definitely is lol.)

I can admit I just. don't want to uproot the life I've been trying so hard to build for myself in so many ways, to have kids. I'll happily help babysit the kids of any friends tho and be the fun uncle that buys them junk food and lets them stay up late to watch movies. I think that's about the level of parenting of any kind that I can handle for now (also tbh I burned out on parenting bc my family admits they parentified the fuck outta me with my three younger cousins. It by far could have been worse, but I spent my teens spending most of my days after school helping look after them from the newborn years and on. Unless my above uber specific scenario happens, then I've probably had my fill of parenting for my lifetime.)

4. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

I played volleyball for a few years in elementary school, and we were made to participate in a multi-school track and field thing for most of middle school every year, but I was never amazing at them. Housemate and I have figured out I likely have undiagnosed asthma tho (turns out running or going out in too cold or hot weather shouldn't instantly make you gasp, struggle to breathe, and make you taste iron in your mouth, who the fuck knew? Not me, genuinely) so I think that might have a lot to do with it.

I also enjoy tennis and badminton and would love to try rugby, but I've never played any of those beyond a hobby with family/friends.

5. DO YOU USE SARCASM?

I do! Probably too much and not always in the best situations, but I've been working for years to hone when and where it should be used so I think/hope I'm a lot better with it than I was when I was younger. Tho even then, I did get adults who found it funny when I was sarcastic bc of how adult I seemed to a lot of them (their words, not mine lmao.)

6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

I genuinely don't know. Usually I'm too busy running my script for meeting new ppl in my head and trying to maintain Common and Expected Etiquette to really notice much right away. I have found that after a bit of time/after the initial meeting has passed, I tend to notice colours ppl wear more often than others if I see them often enough, or hair colour. But I don't know if it counts towards this question at that point lol.

7. WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Kinda blueish grey? Some ppl say it's too grey to be blue, others that it's too blue to be grey. I had a lady at the ND DOT freak out abt not being sure if I should have blue or grey on my ID a few years back, and she finally just told me to put blue so 'she could stop feeling so confused.' Was a weird day and the first time I realised apparently they really do have a blend of both colours, enough for it to be upsetting lmao.

8. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

I can't choose between the two; I like both! I also like mixing them together when I write (a scary story with a happy ending, an ending that seems happy but is actually terrifying, so on and so forth.)

9. ANY TALENTS?

Writing? Maybe, I always list it bc it's something I know how to do and to (usually) do decently well. I can sort of draw? But not well enough that I think 'talented' would be accurate to describe how I draw lol. I'm not sure of anything else off the top of my head tbh.

10. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

In California, USA! We were there bc dad was in basic training for the Marines and then just got stuck at Camp Pendleton for years lmao (or that's how he always talks abt it anyway lmao.) Only was actually there until either: a. I was 3 months old, b. I was 6 months old or c. I was actually basically still a fresh newborn. Depends on whether you're talking to my dad, mum, or grandparents as to which answer you get, and at this point I'm genuinely uncertain as to exactly when mum left and took me to North Dakota but 6 months seems the most potentially accurate lmaooo.

11. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Writing, drawing, reading (not enough but I'm trying to remedy that), napping, watching movies/fave shows, and giffing.

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Kind of? My cat Nisha had to stay in North Dakota after I moved, so my mum and her bf are looking after her now (and got her a little sister, a kitten who is getting so big already!, named Bella.) I help Housemate look after aer two cats as well, and I'd like to think the boys consider me like their fun uncle lol (aka I bend over backwards for them and let them steal my spot on the couch all the time, and will break out the treats if needed to corral them now and then. In my defense: they are the cutest lil baby boy cats and they deserve the world, even when they're being little gremlins lmao.)

13. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

Approximately somewhere between 5'3 and 5'4ish? I can't recall the last time I was actually measured, and most of the ppl I've been around were somewhere between those heights and I'm usually either slightly shorter or slightly taller than some of them, so??? I put 5'3 on my ID tho lol

14. FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

English bc it was easy and I liked almost everything we did in that class. All my general and more specific history courses were a close second, and my foreign language classes a close third.

15. DREAM JOB?

Ideally, I'd love to not have to work. But who wouldn't, so that said, probably something in a library or museum. I'd love to be a library page again, or help work the front desk/docent duties of a museum. Working at someplace like Mystic Seaport would be amazing too; I'd be happy to learn how to help repair/repaint ships that come in or just help do tours or look after artifacts and stuff (tbh they could hire me just to type up any random data entry work they need done for any/all depts and I'd say yes to the job offer lol.) Unfortunately there's fairly significant roadblocks to me achieving any of these jobs rn, but I like to keep them in mind, just in case.

Also, if I can have one dream job that would be even more unlikely and is slightly TMI probably but: paid third for a rich couple. I show up, look nice, [redacted], make sure they're both good for the night, then go back home to Housemate (if it wouldn't be a night they'd want me to stay over, which I wouldn't be against but also. That would require some overtime pay lol.) The chances of this one are...so unlikely it's stupid funny, but a man's allowed to have dreams right lmao?

Tagging (if u guys wanna, no obligation if u don't wanna/have already been tagged/etc!!): @starmoonchildfromthebeamsabove, @freebooter4ever, @willowenigma, @turtleduck-tales, @mash1972, @mysteriouslybluepirate, @turtles-on-turts, @cononeillbreastingboobily, @treesofgreen, @dianetastesmetal, @arsenicflame, @gydima, @king-bussy, @p0ochy, @crvwly, and anyone else following me who wants to!

[soil-just-needs-water-to-be]

I’ve finally decided to upload the whole fanfic on here this is the start of it if you’d like to see more just let me know I’ll post a chapter a day unless anyone ask for more I’m really proud of this I know there are mistakes and all but here we go

Angst involved it does get mature eventually but for now just fluff and angst

It was late the buzz of Manchester leaking through my bedroom window as I lay in bed on my laptop in the mist of an online game of Pub-G (lame I know ). I've been playing for hours. I was supposed to be going to bed at least 3 hours ago ,that was the plan as I've got School tomorrow but for some reason I can't bring myself to close the game for the night. Doing things to preoccupy my mind is all I've needed for the past two weeks I've started studying for my GCSE,s probably to finally complete them in a few weeks and I'm so stressed about them. I kept ending up in games with and user called GeoDan16 and if by fate we keep ending up as the last players in the game and battling one another. I've won 7 of the 11 games we have played. I've added his user in the lobby of the games and I'm just waiting to see if he adds me back , This was so I can possibly have someone to speak to as I play. It takes about ten minutes before the acceptance alert rings through my room , as my laptop, phone and IPad light up due to having the game on all of them for all occasions. Spotting the alert on the corner of my laptop screen I pick up my phone and swiftly type a message. Yes I know I'm using my laptop and I could message them there but it feels better to message on my phone and play on my laptop. I just type a simple

TrumanBlack: " Hey there ...... these games are wild . You played good tho ;)"

I then just put my phone back onto the bed next to me and decide I want to watch YouTube for a while and hopefully let sleep consume me. After racking through YouTube for a video to watch I come across "Daz Blacks latest video I click on it , select the big screen options and pause it before it starts. I place me laptop down next to me and slide from my bed and into my on suite so I can use the bathroom and brush my teeth for what feels like the 20th time tonight. I've smoked an excessive amount tonight and I don't understand why. Hearing my alert tone go off again I quickly finish up in the bathroom and make my way back to bed and see my notification my my phone screen "message from GeoDan16". I open my phone properly to read it

GeoDan16: "Yo :) , thanks , how many games was that ?"

Pulling my blanket back around me I press play on the YouTube video and sink into the heat of the mattress and softness of the duvet

TrumanBlack : "I believe it was 11 , and I won 7 LOSER"

GeoDan16 : "Uhhh...rude , I still won 4 so excuse me but you ain't the overall winner "

TrumanBlack : "No I'm maybe not but I still did better than you ;D "

I know this is probably weird to think as I don't even know this person but feel a buzz something that says I'm gunna love them , like I've known them years and we're just catching up

GeoDan16: "Were just going to have to have a winner takes all round someday huh....also Truman??, What kind of name is that it's kinda interesting is someone obsessed with the Truman show or something "

TrumanBlack : "Nah I just came up with the name when I was like ten and it sounded kinda edgy :D "

As I'm laying there my eyes start to feel heavy and I can feel them starting to drop and I yawn. But I try to ignore it so I can stay up a little longer and hopefully learn more about this person

GeoDan16: " So it's not your real name then ???"

TrumanBlack: "nope it's actually Matty , what about you , what's your actual name "

GeoDan16 : "Contrary to popular belief it's not geo or Dan ... the names George "

TrumanBlack: "George...That's an old guys name...how old are you....im not talking to some ancient man am I "

I laugh to myself because obviously I can't be he played well ...too well for an old guy BUT I've got to cover my tracks my mum always tells me to be more safe online

GeoDan16: "Nah man I'm 16....oldest in my year .... Year 10 what about you ...Matty is 100% not your full name what are you 12?... rebelling against anyone who calls you your full name "

TrumanBlack : "I'll have you know George that I'm actually 17 not 12 and no my full name is Matthew but I only get called that at school or when I've pissed my mum off or my best friend.....but also year ten so your from the UK then"

GeoDan16: "yeh southwest London ....Wbu "

TrumanBlack : "ay im from Manchester "

It's not very often you meet someone from the same continent as you this late at night on these games so this is quite cool

TrumanBlack: "why you up so late then Georgie???"

GeoDan16: "I ain't been called Georgie since I was 7 Matthew :D , also I just can't sleep it's soooo cold right now ....and you ?"

TrumanBlack : "just stressing about GCSE's man ....I know I'm not dumb but my maths and physics are gunna go down the drain and I don't wanna fail "

GeoDan16: "ahh I feel ya bro ....I've just started studying for my GCSEs too but your must be year 11 and going to be doing them soon right ?"

TrumanBlack : "yup they start in a few weeks "

My eyes are now struggling to stay awake and my screen has become a blurry mess as I attempt to keep my eyes open and without realising it my phone slides out of my hand onto the duvet and my eyes shut slowly

GeoDan16 ; "I could help if you like "

I don't see or hear this message come through as I'm too far gone and too tired to realise and I just fall asleep and hopefully dream of good things

GeoDan16 "g'night Matty "

[aphel1on]

tag someone you want to get to know better

tagged by @woobifiedvillain a few days ago and finally remembered to do it!!

Favorite color: Yellow, but not an overwhelming yellow, like that soft warm yellow? I love it. People tend to not expect this answer, I think I give off more of a blue or grey vibe. Honestly a pretty grey/silver is probably my second favorite color, but a buttery yellow is just so good for the soul.

Last song: You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. Danced to it in the kitchen, got consumed by the guitar riffs, nearly knocked a chair over. Before this morning it would've been the Genshin OST... I've been listening to it a lot while I write or do chores recently.

Last movie: An exceedingly mediocre romcom on Netflix that I watched with my sick mom to be nice. Genuinely couldn't tell you the title or more than like, two or three plot points. Last movie that I watched bc I wanted to was the Barbie movie, which was genuinely better than I expected. Enjoyable but would still give it, like, a mixed review. I'm not getting into two months' ago Barbie Movie Discourse on this post

Currently watching: I'M STILL TRYING TO FINISH THE UNTAMED!!!! woobifiedvillain i'm speaking directly to you and quoting you: i too am "chronically incapable of paying attention to visual media, even the good shit" and when i try to explain this to people irl they act like i am insane!!! I haven't watched Good Omens season 2 yet even tho I am reblogging posts about it rn. I think it's mostly adhd, or really just a part of the larger Neurodivergence Soup (tm) that makes it nearly impossible for me to learn something from a YouTube video. I mean, sometimes for a hands-on task a video is essential, but can't there be a written list of instructions to go with it too, bc that sticks in my mind way better sobs... ANYWAY i'm currently on episode 43 of The Untamed, so I should be able to finish it by, like. The end of the year at least lol?

Currently reading: I started reading SVSSS recently because, like. The mxtx mania is in full throttle. I just got here a little later than most people lmao. I'm also currently "reading" like seven different books that I bought or pirated this year and have on hold. One of my Unfortunate Skills is bingereading like 200 pages of something in 1-2 days and then not finishing the rest of it for 8 months.

Currently working on: Keep My Shadow Alive, my big xue yang-centric fix it fic!!! Well, more like a fix it, and then break it more, and then eventually actually fix it fic. Starting from the canon divergence of "Add Pre-Teen Xue Yang to the Burial Mounds Fam" and going from there. I read every fic like that that's on ao3 and was still being eaten alive by the brainworms so I started writing my own take on it and ~6 months later it's the longest fic I've ever written and only 25% of the way through its outline???? So. Who knows if it will get finished (my track record is admittedly not great)- but I've had such a blast writing it so far. Xue Yang is just SO fun to write. Yes it has a plot and character arcs and I could even go full English Major* and start telling you about its Themes, but also it's just an excuse to write Xue Yang interacting with every member of the MDZS cast. Going to STOP talking now bc I fully am the type of writer who will get carried away talking about their wips.

*i am not an english major, but spiritually i am an english major.

Current obsession: Yeah uh, MDZS. My friend convinced me to finally read it in January of this year, and the hyperfixation train has simply not stopped since then. Genshin Impact also dragged me back in with the Fontaine update and I've been having a lot of fun playing it. But MDZS is still mostly the thing that's eating up my RAM. Particularly the Yi City crew, but 3zun is rotating in there too. Sometimes even The Man WWX Himself, i talk about him less but i do love him a lot also lol

Tagging: I'm honestly too shy to do this!!! But thank you for tagging me anyway<3

[haunted-glassesgurl]

Sooo, it's the first time I've been tagged in one of these...

So, thanks @silentwillowwhisperer for the tag, it's been fun.

Also, you might get to know me a bit more.

1. Named after anyone?

No... Not really, my parents just liked it, months after I was born my dad's cousin said that we had the same name... My dad completely forgot about them and didn't even made the connection, but yeah no, I'm not named after anyone, would like to be tho.

2.Last time you cried?

A couple of days ago, stress got the worst of me, I HATE exams, they make me feel so dumb... Also I was reading a story and I got emotional, sue me okay?

3.Do you have any kids?

Nooo, way to young for that, not really but I can barely take care of myself, not ready to take care of another human being. Plus I want to get married before even starting to think about kids, and I'm single... So no.

4.Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Maybe? Not as much as I would like to, I always think of sarcastic remarks, but I don't usually say them out loud.

5.What is the first thing you notice about people?

Probably the way they walk, or there posture, I use glasses and I can't see that far, so I started to analyze my friends walk and posture to recognize them from afar, so probably yeah, the posture is the first thing I notice, also it makes it easier to have a talk with people if I try and match their energy (usually how you stand says a lot about you, I know from experience)

6.Color of your eyes?

Brown brown brown, they are super dark, almost black, and even when I shine a light on them they just get a liiiittle bit brighter. I'm starting to like them now, I used to hate them because my dad has Grey eyes that change with the weather and my mom has green eyes with spots, they are so weird but so cool. I'm kinda still on the edge about my eyes but I think it's kinda cool how dark they are even with light shining on them.

7.Scary movie of happy ending?

Not my type of movie, sorry, I mainly watch animation, romantic comedies or action because that's all I can emotionally handle.

8.Any special talents?

Ummm... Idk probably but I'm not sure what it would be, I'm good at languages, does that count.

9.Where were you born?

Buenos Aires Argentina <3

10.Hobbies?

Ugh they are so basic haha but like, painting, reading, I'm starting to write a bit more now and I really like it. Oh! I also like to embroider.

11.Pets?

Yep, two dogs, I absolutely love them.

12.Sports?

Love them, I don't actually play any right now, but I've tried many things through out the years, if I could do any now I would probably pick volley ball.

13.Height?

Umm, 165 cm, I think that's about 5. 4 feet... Idk

14.Favorite subject in school?

Biology, my professor was the best, she made me love it.

15.Dream job?

Honestly, I have no clue, I would like to do something with languages, that's what I'm studying in college right now at least, but if that is my dream job no idea.

Aaaaaannnndddd.... Idk who to tag haha, so if you wanna do it, just reblog or whatever you want to do with it.

[alliumbunny]

If I know anything it's that 2012 tmnt is both my least favorite show ever and also my second favorite show. ever.

so.

anyways

so I watched like 4-5 more episodes of tmnt (left off at the season 3 time travel episode, y'know.. with renet aaaaaaa)

um so. I don't like renet.

not really the character itself, but like, how they, depict her. 1. her outfit, idk what it is, but i can't help but think it's fucking ugly. I kinda understand how hard it is to make 3d models of humans but omg you've done semi-good outfits before, casey has a pretty good outfit i'd say, i think, i don't look at him much, april's outfit is... okay... at least... kinda good at most, I think it can be turned into something really good with just alittle bit of change in it, but it's okay. like renet tho, idc how future she is, her outfit, ugly as sin, omg. please omg why. anyways um

2. I fucking hate, the mikey and renet romance, it feels so so so so so so so, how many so's can I put... so so so So, weird. Renet says a line, after mikey implies a first "date" that, isn't he alittle OLD for her, She hasn't even been born yet, and WOW, good point, I was mostly looking at the fact that renet looks like a fully grown adult, like 21 at least, 25 at most, I do not see that women as a teen, she acts like a teen at times, but every time I look at her and her character and what I know about her, it gets more and more unlikely for me to think she's even close to being a teen. and since Mikey is canonly at least 15 and at most 16 at this time(He's 15 in the start of season 3 but leo says that they go at least 16 years in the future so idk if there's a year inbetween tang shen dying and splinter buying(lol) the turtles, that probably is it but incase it isn't, y'know, idk) I personally think their "15" still(although depending on how many months he spent in Dimension X and how many months ago their birthday is, he might genuinely be 16 in canon, but we will never know) from how the show puts it but u can think what u want, either way, still a minor, still weird to me, I just can't get renet being an adult out of my head now that i've seen her in the show. I also just don't like how mikey acts with her tho, All the brothers are slightly similar when it comes to romance, aka... they can be kinda.. creeps, in a way. i don't like how renet kisses mikey(i think on the forehead or cheek, but I skipped that part, ngl) because they have JUST met, not kidding, they have JUST MET. another thing i hate. I hate that they JUST MET and yet they are inlove, i don't like it... i understand the love at first sight trope, it's in like half of the other romances in this show, i just fucking hate it, :) There's probably SO MUCH MORE, I fucking hate this romance aaaaa

3. I don't think there is a three, other then then those two, i think the character is kinda under welling and could've been done better, but they are pretty cool in concept, I will continue hating the writing and design of this character and will probably like them more in the fanfiction side of things. yippee.

I have to remind y'all that this is all my opinion and you should watch the show or at least those episodes before you, yourself, decide to hate renet aswell. I look into this show, WAY too much. If you like Renet, that is totally fine and very valid, you could've taken her character a completely different way than me and that is completely fine. I see nothing wrong with liking the character or the romance/love story between her and mikey, I just personally see it as a really weird choice. that doesn't mean you will see it the same way, and that is completely okay. people see things differently all the time and this is definitely going to be one of them. There's gonna be people who love renet, i'm just not one of them. Tho i wish i could like her ngl.

in the end, umm... i wanted to rant about another tmnt thing, and I did. i wrote way to much, I'm sorry if you actually read all of it, my thoughts run wild, and I am too lazy to fix any spelling mistakes </3

I will continue to ramble about tmnt another day, today, i am done watching tmnt, i got through a tiny amount a episodes and i am mentally exhausted <3

[wonusite]

Im listening to one of my fave angst songs (Saçma Sapan by Emir Şamur, i lost count of the times i cried to this song) and i chose wonu as my victim because what better way to torture you?

I like the type of angst that includes the reader being happy after a while and leaves the idol sad and broken and unable to live (probably regrets his life choices) but this will be an exception in some ways

He was the best wizard in your school, the best of best to say the least. He was always rewarded by the professors for his hard work and awesome magic work in every lesson you had

You on the other was just one of the servants who was taking care of the best students in the school. No magic, no special ability, just good at doing anything he, your secret love, wants you to do.

But the school had strict rules, you werent allowed to fall in love with students and this wasnt a problem for you as long as you kept your mouth shut becuse Wonwoo didnt even spared you a glance, you doubted he even knew your name.

No, thats not the problem with your misirable life, the problem is you were supposed to get married in two weeks because of the rules of the world you lived in. Every year, on the sixteenth of april everyone who was born twenty years ago stands in front of the soulmate stone that rests in the middle of the garden of the school you work in. The soulmate stone whispers the name you will marry to the headmaster/mistress of the school.

You dreaded the day, you didnt want to marry when you were so young, you wanted to get out that school, open your own place where you sold books to regular students and have your own roof on top of your head. Sadly, as someone like you didnt have any tangible asset you had to marry whoever the soulmate stone sees fit, in the worst scenario you could reject your soulmate and live a lonely life -because noone would accept marrying you

But it didnt went the way you thought, the first one to stand in front of the stone was wonu because he was favorited by the headmistress. When he was waiting for the name to be whispered he heard a name that not even a soul would expect. It was your name that the soulmate stone whispered

You? Why would you be seen fit for someone like him? Not even the headmistress had an idea but whatever soulmate stone says should be accepted without question so wonu did that and married you

Even while you were married you knew he wasnt your actual soulmate, how could he be? You were aware that he didnt loved you even tho there was a pull between you two.

So you left, left when you saw how passionately he was making love to another extremly talented student of the school. You left because you knew that was bound to happen to you

And that was the day wonu felt the bond start to kill him. After he woke up in his bed with the other student, he felt the biggest, heaviest ache in his chest. He knew what was happening to him, he knew all about it from the books he read but wasnt going to let that kill him, he was stronger than that stupid bond which tied him to a nobody

You on the other hand, was running without feeling your legs, before the teachers and students noticed you were gone you had to find a flower field that you could hide in. It was the only place no magic would work, no one would be able to find you between the natural magic of flowers, a beautiful place would be where you gave your last breath. It was going to be a beautiful death for someone so unworthy like you but you had no other chance

After a week of searching for you and having nothing, wonu decided to go to the soulmate stone and gift it a flower, not just any flower, your favorite to find where you are. He asked your old friend who was also a worker of the school and created the flower with his magic without even putting an effort or thought to it. He just thought that it was a stupid flower to have as the favorite but for someone like you it was fitting, not even in a good way

When he put the flower right in front of the soulmate stone and took a step back he was expecting to hear a whisper telling him where you were so he could find you and kill you to get rid of the bond.

He was a fool to think he could trick the soulmate stone.

"You are not worthy of nothing we gave you" he heard, "You were supposed to protect her, help her find her powers but you just wanted to get rid of her. You are the worst soulmate we ever chose and we are ashamed of you." continued the voice

It took him a second to understand what the words meant. The soulmate stone was going to punish him for his sins. He understood all of it and took a sharp breath before he was laying on the ground, no pulse

You, were the chosen one, the one who born every thousand years and solves the big problems, the one who can only be awakend by their soulmate. And unfortunately for you, your soulmate was not worthy of you

But dont worry, the universe wont let the chosen one die without fixing the problems, you will bloom like a flower, live a happy life with your new soulmate and Wonwoo will watch it all happen right before his eyes, watch you forget he even existed, watch what he could have had if he wasnt so selfish and stupid but it be too late.

y would u hurt me like this while i’m at work

[sadbreadcrumb]

hohoho, tagged by @joziokowalski, thankie

last song: I Wanna Be Your Slave by Måneskin. i don't listen to music much these days, and when i do, it's the same ~10 last songs from my playlist, which include tgcf soundtrack, two Måneskin songs and two songs by Dead Blonde with russian '90s vibes?? папин пистолет в кармане, шуба, плащ и сапоги — вот и всё моё наследство, я принцесса из тайги 😎😎😎

current book stack:

Don't Shoot The Dog by Karen Pryor (i think so, at least, bc the title of the russian translation says 'don't growl at the dog' lol). started reading it several days ago and haven't gone further than like a dozen pages or so. i'm bad with books that aren't tgcf or tgcf fanfiction right now. anyway, it's about dog training and operant learning in general

All Creatures Great And Small by James Herriot. it's a collection of short stories. it's going really slowly. idk why, it has animals and veterinary, i'm like really interested in those...

Служебная собака (i. e. 'service dog') by Leonid Krushinsky. it's a soviet dog training manual. i haven't touched it in several months tho. this one and the Herriot's book just sit in a corner of our workplace in case i happen to want to read something during my break...

i also have several books i'd started reading on my phone, but i guess it's safe to say i'm not likely to finish them. those include A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (i didn't like what i'd read), Good Omens and russian translation of The Silmarillion. but yeah. not going to happen anytime soon...

by the way, i'm going to get my printed copy of the 4th tgcf book so i'll probably be rereading it for the third time ✌️

last movie: hmmmm @joziokowalski showed me The Hound of the Baskervilles on the new year eve

last show: probably that 4th tgcf rewatch with my cat lol. before that... the 3rd tgcf rewatch with @joziokowalski... before that maybe Jeeves and Wooster with ... ... ... you guessed it, @joziokowalski ; ) at this point she can probably keep better track on the series i've watched lol

current obsession: Heaven Official's Blessing aka tgcf, if you haven't guessed already. it's been uhhh nine months or more?.. gonna move to mdzs at some point but not sure when lol

i'm tagging @melonbitter, @karamazovdmitri and @fantasmagoriam, have a go at this ask if you'd like ^_^

[ikyw-t]

hey! it's been a while since my last proper life update so it's about time for another! 🌸

Soo I started a new job on sunday and it's going rly rly well! I work at a bagel store, and I used to work at a different location for a few months right before covid and while it was by far the least stressful and least bad job I'd had overall, after working here for three days I realize that at the other store we had been understaffed like 99% of the time and that this job is actually a lot less stressful when there's a reasonable number of people working. so I'm glad that I'm working here now! everyone I've met so far has been very nice and it's just overall a very nice and chill atmosphere, I am genuinely so pleased :)

alsooo i started learning "je te veux" on piano a few days ago and according to the sheet music it's supposed to be played at 176bpm and so far I've learned half the song at 120bpm and honestly it still sounds delightful. 176 seems unnecessarily fast. like maybe I'll get it up to 150 but idrc about getting it that fast rly lol. it's been fun tho! the last song i rly took the time to learn all the way thru was "the very last night" over this summer and that was also fun but je te veux is like an actual song lol and it's very festive and jolly so im having a good time with that!

also I've been doing a lot of reading lately! here's some brief reviews!

- the world cannot give, tara isabella burton; fun read, cool vibes. i read another book by her called "social creature" which i also read in two days and was pretty compelling

- when we were young, richard roper; also a fun quick read! definitely had some laugh out loud moments. it was enjoyable although i think his other book "how not to die" had a more developed story and characters and i liked more in general.

- family of liars, e. lockhart; a pretty good sequel for "we were liars" which i read a year ago or more, but i feel like this had a similar vibe and voice to the first book, and overall the story didn't feel like a forced prequel, but held up just fine on its own.

- currently i'm reading cards on the table by agatha christie, which is the 15th book in the hercule poirot series lol. i started the series earlier this year and altho it's not always very riveting they are pretty quick and fun reads, and it gives me something to read when i don't feel like im the mood for anything else, ya know? also it's kinda interesting to read about domestic life (and death! Lol) in early 20th century england. this book is called cards on the table cause it took place during a game of bridge, and i think if i knew anything about bridge id probably appreciate it a little more though it's been a solid book regardless.

also i read the play "who's afraid of virginia woolf" a couple weeks ago and i finished it cause it was pretty short but it was meh. like. just meh.

anyway! that's my once in a blue moon life update dump lol. would have to say im currently not doing too bad! the rest of the year has been pretty stressful and just miserable but at least the last couple months of 2021 are turning out ok!

[icharchivist]

Should I read Tevinter Nights?

Personally i recommend it because it was a blast to read and genuinely has some thrilling content, even outside of the games. the stories are incredible, each are pretty short so it's good side stories. If it is also something that can influence you, there's a lot of casual LGBT+ representation in it, multiple queer couples and even a nonbinary narrator/MC for one of the story.

In term of "is it required reading for da4" i don't know per se. DAI was following up on two of the novels written in between, and one of the novel is almost fully summarized in game, while the other isn't really summarized in details without specifically it being necessary for the plot (tho you'd be missing on fantastic character work). I played DAI without reading the novels at the time and i understood everything perfectly, but the insight given by the books was phenomenal and i was a bit sad when i read Asunder realizing i knew the whole plot lmao.

so if DA4 follows through with it, it probably won't make you feel like you missed something, will summarize what's necessary anyway at least.

That being said we know TN is extremely relevent for what DA4 is going to be.

-Lucanis is a main companion of da4 and has a whole story about a job going wrong in TN. It is also the story that will likely explain why he's in the situation he's in at the start of da4, and the story does explain to you how he got the nickname he got.

-Neve is also a main companion of da4 and has a whole story about a job in TN. This will also give a deep insight on who she is and how she works as well as some infos on Tevinter itself.

-Emmrich is also a main companion of da4 and he is a supporting character in one of the story of Tevinter Nights. It will give you a lot of insight on how he is, how he works, and what you can expect from him.

-We know the 2nd chapter of the game will bring back the characters that were involved in the first story of Tevinter Nights. If we go also by how the latest Comics (The Missing) showed others characters from others side stories helping out while they can, it's likely all of them will come back in some way or another.

-Some of the brand new monsters teased via concept arts a few years ago appear in the books as well. their stories are terrifying and give a terrifying insight on the lore that will be explored in da4.

-Dorian and Maevaris also both come back for one of the stories and indicate a lot about the changing politics of Tevinter. i'm convinced bc of it that Dorian is going to come back too, in due time, and i hope Maevaris too.

-The very last story of the book both is an indication on Solas' whereabouts as well as a bridge to explain the ending of the show Absolution, which in itself will likely be relevent to da4.

DA4 having its own main character i'm sure they'll take your hand through it and tell you everything you need to know.

but if you want a good taste at what awaits us as well as some information on Lucanis/Neve/Emmrich/Solas before going back to the game? it's a treat, honestly.

[okwhotookmyusername]

Having a weird time

This got too long

Uh idk a couple things that can be uncomfortable I guess but I dont wanna tag it soooo just dont read probably

I'm fine tho seriously, its been a long time

For whatever reason I started thinking about stuff from 16ish years ago

Which by itself fucking sucks because everything back then fuckig sucked

I was really lonely and sad and angry and just…I didnt really plan to live much longer, never had really, even when I was 5 I thought about killing myself

Thats not really the weird part though, it actually felt kinda nice, thinking about how different things are and how I could have made a few things better, which unfortunately just kinda means ways I coulda tried to be less like myself but still

And it wasnt all that bad when I was 10 before I moved at least, I had a few really good friends and people had mostly stopped bullying me and the few times a couple people did I just was used to it and didnt care because I knew they were just fucking stupid

Its kinda funny because the people I actually think about as really good friends from then are people I hadnt hung out with at all until that last year and then just clicked with out of nowhere. And sure that happened at the same time as my other friends and I kinda drifted apart but it was just better

Those two were really awesome and its a bit funny because the whole time I knew them you practically never heard one of their names without the other

I kinda lost the point I was going for at the start here because this looped me back around to thinking of those guys and cheered me up 😅

Its better to focus on that year than the ones after…fuck now i'm crying

Idk end of ramble blah blah some guy kinda took advantage 9f me when I was all alone and while often making me feel like I had someone who cared could flip on a dime and make me feel completely worthless and I cant help the small part of me that feels like I should have known better but also I know I was just a kid…

Whatever

Heh just thought if something nice, I only have happy memories of those two, I mean a couple embarrassing ones but not ones that make me feel horrible

They were great and I miss them…one did send me friend request on Facebook years ago but I ignored it…because I have no idea if they yknow…i'm pretty different now

[hyohaehyuk]

It's Pride Month and i want to post this before the month ends 🙃 Almost a year ago i found an old OOR interview where Taka might had come out as bi.

Now about Takeru i found some interesting interview that make me wondering if he is not gay/queer too.

Actor Takeru Sato (30) appeared on the TBS variety show "Sakurai Ariyoshi THE Yakai" broadcast on January 23rd, 2020. Looking back on his first date, he revealed how shy he was when he was a student.

According to information provided by a friend from junior high school, Sato was always at the top of his class and had outstanding athletic ability. However, he was "terrible at love." On his first date, while riding his bike to the date's destination, he started pedaling at full speed for some reason. He left the girl behind and went home.

Looking back on that time, Sato explained, "I just couldn't bear being alone with a woman in the city... I'm really sorry, but I ran away. I was so embarrassed," and apologized, "I'm so sorry that I caused her so much trauma."

Sato continued, "I never fell in love or got carried away with love during my school days. My romantic feelings for women were all directed towards the two-dimensional world." When Wakako Shimazaki asked, "What do you like about the two-dimensional world? It's not human," Sato reflexively turned around and said, "Eh, but!" The studio was filled with laughter at Sato's unexpected reaction.

On the show, Sato said, "I didn't think that the object of my heart's desire had to be a human," and introduced Amatsuka Megumi, the heroine of the manga "Tenshi na konamaiki" (Cheeky Angel) as his "favorite woman" from his school days. As the crowd exclaimed, "Eh?", Sato revealed that he was crazy about her, saying, "Even though it was my first love..."

Besides the fact that he run away from a date with a girl (lol) the interesting thing here is that, according with wiki (bc i didn't read the manga) Amatsuka Megumi is tomboy that always get into fights and have a secret: she used to be a boy."

From other place "Megumi is a nine-year old kid who, after saving a sorceror from getting beat-up by some punks, as thanks was given a magic book with a demon inside. His wish to become the "manliest man on Earth" is misinterpretted as the "womanliest woman on Earth" and he is transformed into a girl. Out of fury she throws the book into a river. Six years later, Megumi may still have the body of a girl but behaves like a guy and is only interested in fighting and martial arts. Megumi dreamed of the day when she can return to being a man by finding the book again."

I dont know if she turned back into a boy tho.

Even Takeru views about marriage are weird. It really feels that he is forced himself into that idea to fit in society norms rather than him really wanting to get married

From this video around 8:33 (transcriptions from here)

"I've been saying this for a long time, but marriage isn't something you do alone, it's something you do together, so do you have the desire to get married when you don't have a partner? Even if you ask me that, there is no way to answer.

If you keep saying things like that, you'll never get married. I think that if I don't decide to get married at some point, I won't, or rather, won't be able to do it even when I'm 40 or 50, and that's becoming a reality. So now I've declared that I'll get married by 35. I really want to do that. I'll try my best.

On the other hand, if I can't do it by 35, I probably won't be able to do it for a while until I'm 45 or something"

He even uses a fortune teller to telling me when he should get married like he mentioned in the Bokura no Jidai interview. At least here he is acknowledging that marriage is a thing made by 2 people (him and his partner, not him and the fortune teller)

Still on topic of marriage there is interesting convo in the Miura Shohei, Shirota yu, Takeru Sato and Taka youtube live.

Around 51:24, Miura says that Takeru, Taka and Yu are all equality the most difficult to get married. Taka and Yu are unbeliever at that and Taka even say that Takeru is the most difficulted one. Takeru says that he believes Yu is the one cabable of doing it but him and Taka cant.

Taka complains but then says "can't we do it?"

Takeru: "No, it's impossible"

Then Miura mentioned that Taka said before to him that he would when all OOR members got married and now that Toru is married he could do it anytime. Taka said "if there is the right person" and then Takeru start laughing and Taka asked why he is laughing. Then the convo start to be about Takeru.

Taka: Takeru is the most special among the four of us. Unlike us, maybe it will develop in other directions...

Takeru: Everyone is different

Taka: Although everyone is different...

Takeru: I think the next one it will be Yu.

(proceeds to talk about why he think Yu should get married and that he is suitable to start a family)

Takeru: This person (Taka) case is a little different (from Yu case). He have such a strong personality.

Miura: He values his music more/this is music is the most important.

Taka: No, No. That's not truth. I think my own life is more important than anything else.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

I just read about your current projects, and they sound soo cool! Would you mind talking to me about them and i cojkd talk to you about my projects too and it could be a fun discussion...i completely understand if ur not up for it tho....just wanted to let u know the ideas of ur story sound super cool and if u ever publish them i really look forward to reading them... i dont do this often and my social skills are like a B- so i hope i didnt offend u i any way or over step.

Anyway hope you're doing well!

Hiya! My social skills are also honestly not great, so that's okay.

I am hoping to get both published, but as I still need to hook an agent, that's probably at least a couple years off for now.

You can sometimes see things I reblog or post about the books with the tags of the protagonists: Tiadane, for the first one, and Avel for the second, but I honestly have no idea what would even come up for either of those at this point.

This is my current working, mostly unedited and not perfect, query for Tiadane's book.

Tiadane has spent his entire seventeen years of life watching his city fall apart and listening to everyone tell him there’s nothing he can do to fix it so he shouldn’t bother to try. Once his neighbors die in a building collapse, he’s done watching and listening. Cinralen is an isolated city in the clouds, and no one who lives there understands the magic that keeps it aloft. So Tiadane leaves. His destination is Deermein, an old city founded by the wizards that helped build Cinralen in the first place. But by the time Tiadane arrives, wizards have been gone from Deermein for centuries and the people responsible want him and his wings gone, too. But one teenager in Deermein still remembers the legends his parents were killed for telling him, and he springs Tiadane from his jail cell and they escape Deermein to find the last shreds of magic on earth. But outside Deermein’s city walls, they find themselves facing down centuries of history, fragmented cultural heritages, and the impossible task of rebuilding something that was stamped out long ago—or at least building something new from the ashes.

This is the project I mentioned this morning wanting to kind of sprint through the last 100 pages or so of revisions to get this done soon, then off to a CP that...I don't have yet, so that's another thing I gotta figure out.

As for Avel's book,it's currently on hold around 25k words. I realized I was at a point where I really need to sit down and untangle the threads I've started spinning for it and figure out what to do with what I have and how to use things, but I haven't had time with the revisions and work, etc. It needs some thought, and I hope to be back to it soon, because those 25k words were tons of fun to write, came very quickly, and I have high hopes for that project.

This is some of the last bits I worked on for Avel's project, to give you an idea of...well, him.

“You play violin.” Avel snorted, clapping a hand over his neck where he knew his violin hickey was. “It could be a viola.” “It could, but it’s not.” The stranger grinned. “You’re pretty well known on the concert circuit, Avel Martins. I know what instrument you play.” Avel startled and his cane jangled against his back inside his backpack. He’d never been recognized before—or if he had, no one had bothered to say anything. He must have seen Avel’s collapse. People would recognize his face now. People would remember him, and not for his music. The stranger offered a hand. “Rafael DeMarco. Don’t worry, I’m not looking for an autograph.” Rafael tilted his head just slightly so his grin was almost even. “You look different when you’re not dressed for the stage. You have piercings.” Avel tugged at his right ear, where two hoops were threaded through his lobe and a silver stud marked the cartilage. He had more in the left. They came out when he was preparing for stage or promotional head shots, and went right back in after. His Doc Martens, black jeans, a t-shirt his parents had paid too much for to ensure it was 100% organic cotton, and a hoodie made of the same were a far cry from ill-fitting suits.

And this bit, I guess.

The man nodded and stayed on the floor with Avel quietly, waiting until the second worker came carrying Avel’s violin case, his jacket folded over one arm and a wood cane with a curved brass handle. Avel took the case first and wiped his violin down carefully before setting it inside. He ran his thumb over the clasps, letting each one close with a sharp thump. If he fell again, it would be safe, at least. Then he accepted the help to his feet and propped himself up with his cane. It wasn’t his favorite—that one was at home, foldable black aluminum with a skull pattern and violin stickers over that—but the one he used for concerts matched his suits better.

So anyway, yeah, having fun with Avel's character design (and Raf's, for that matter).

So that's most of the longer projects I'm working on at the moment. I'm very proud of both right now, and Avel's book is still super new and raw so I tend to share less about it (whereas Tiadane's is close enough to be useful I'm a little less worried about that). I'm happy to hear about yours.

[prisonpodcast]

Hello! Happy June! It's Pride and I have another question (8/30)

HiHi, today we are again diving into the evolution of another word: queer!

The word queer entered the English language around the 16th century, and initially meant "strange", "odd" or "eccentric". (This is a slightly unrelated sidenote; as someone whose dialect of English is Hiberno-English, the word queer is still very commonly used to still mean this, and has also evolved to the word "quare" which can be used in place of "really" or "very" to provide adverbial emphasis <- like if someone is "quare tall" they're so tall that you're kinda in a little disbelief about it. Anyway just thought this was a fun side note because I really had not realised this word was controversial for people until I was on the internet)

Anyway, onto the late 19th century, the word queer began to have the connotation of "sexual deviance", before then starting to be used specifically about the "sexual deviance" of "feminine men".

The first, or at least one of the first, recorded time that the word queer was used as a pejorative for gay was in a letter written by John Sholto Douglas, 9th Marquis of Queensberry, about his son's relationship with Oscar Wilde. This letter was read out in Wilde's trial in April 1895 (in which he was being tried for "gross indecency" or "homosexuality"), and in it Douglas refers to Wilde and other gay men at the time as "Snob Queers". It is believed that American newspapers picked up this phrase and began using it themselves, thus spreading the pejorative to the US's vocabulary.

"The Concise New Partridge Dictionary of Slang" (1937) defined the word queer as "Homosexual. Derogatory from the outside, not from within. US, 1914", which tells us both that by 1914 it was a common pejorative or insult for gay people, but also, that queer people were using the word to refer to themselves as well. Around this time, queer, fairy, trade and gay all signified distinct "categories" of homosexual men. Historian George Chauncey notes in his book ("Gay New York") that queer would've been the self-identifier of ""masculine"" gay men.

We can also assume that this is what was happening in the U.K. as well, as a letter held in the National Archives shows us (you can look up the letter in full, search the full name of the person and "My Dear Billy"). This letter was written by a man named Cyril Coeur de Leon to ‘My Dear Billy’ in 1934. Billy was the owner of "The Caravan Club", a ""disorderly house"" of ""male prostitutes"", and in it he writes "Just a note to say that I am very disappointed about you. I honestly thought you were queer, but different from the others, and I liked you very much […] I have only been queer since I came to London about two years ago, before then I knew nothing about it." This use of queer is arguably ahead of it's time, given that at this point queer was exclusively about gay men, whereas de Leon mentions he "still likes girls occasionally".

Over the years though, queer has evolved from the narrow definition of "gay man" to "gay men and lesbians" to "anyone not heterosexual" to "not heterosexual and/or not cisgender". And despite the fact that for the majority of the time that it has meant "gay" it has been used by the community, some people are still of the opinion that the word is "too offensive" to be used, but thankfully, this argument isn't as common as it was in the 90s and 00s, though still annoying persistent.

And as for my question, today I want to know firstly, if you use the word queer yourself? and secondly, what is your favourite word/way to refer to the queer community? (for example, "friend of dorothy" is funny to drop into conversation, and today I spoke to some who said they were "looking forward to meeting other *limp hand movement* at [pub name] tonight!")

Happy Pride 🌈 🎉

I use the word queer all the time, it’s probably my most used word for describing the community. Idk what my favourite way to refer to us is tho, I usually just say queer :D