#steffie says stuff

[seavegetableconspiracies]

Always nice to write a recommendation letter about yourself and your accomplishments when you feel at your worst and stupidest

[theselfshippingwitch]

JanAUary - Fake Dating AU

(Divider by @saradika)

Ship: Ray x Violet Word Count: 3088 Summary: Ray and Violet are going to Ray's hometown for his high school reunion, and Violet thought her worst problem would be figuring out how to pretend to be his girlfriend until she got there Rating: General Audiences Notes: For JanAUary run by @bioexorcizm and @eternally-smitten - Thanks for the prompt! Yeah this one got way away from me, it's super long whoops

(Divider by @cafekitsune)

Violet stepped out of the inn wearing jeans and a blouse. It was dinner time, and she and Ray were meeting up with his high school classmates for dinner before the high school reunion party the next night. They walked side by side to the restaurant. He seemed distracted, watching the ground with a pensive expression on his face. “Nervous?” Violet asked.

She didn’t blame him. The plan was ridiculous. When Peter suggested it, her first instinct was to flat out refuse. It took coaxing from both him and her personal assistant, Steffi, to get her to agree to pretend to be Ray’s girlfriend at his high school reunion. There was no way she would be able to keep up that kind of ruse. Her fame and success had come from writing, not acting. Not that she wouldn’t be able to convince people she liked Ray as more than a friend. That part came easy to her. But how was she supposed to act like a girlfriend when she had never been anyone’s girlfriend before? 

While waiting in the line to get into the restaurant, the first person to greet them was what looked like to Violet to be some washed up high school football star. “Ray, old pal!” He slapped Ray on the shoulder just a little too hard, making him flinch and rub the spot where he hit after. “Hey, no hard feelings about last time, right, old buddy? Just a bit of dark magic between old friends!”

“Hi, Alan.” Ray sounded mostly annoyed. 

“Yeah, I mean it was just like old times, right? Remember in high school when I used to steal your bike and not give it back to you for weeks at a time…”

“The last time, you never gave it back.”

“...Or that one time I moved that carjack in shop class while you were still under the car?”

“I had to get stitches.”

“Boys will be boys, right?” 

“That’s what the cops told me.”

“And who is this gorgeous creature?” Alan moved past Ray, sliding in between him and Violet in line and leaning against the wall in front of her. 

“This is Violet. Violet, this is Alan.”

“Alan Favish, Head Quarterback for the Morrisville High Eagles, Class of ‘76. So, he guilt tripped you into tagging along, did he?” He jerked his head towards Ray as if he wasn’t still standing right next to them and hearing all of this. “Well, It’s not a total loss. I can make sure you still have a good time…”

“Actually, I’m his girlfriend.”

Alan raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “You’re dating him? Ha! I guess I’m not the only one who’s using dark magic around here. What kind of love potion did you have to use to convince her to date you, huh, Ray? Must have been some powerful stuff!” 

Violet sneered.

“Hey, I’m just joking! Meet you inside, buddy!” Alan punched Ray in the forearm, again just a little too hard, as he left them in the line. 

The second person to approach them was an older gentleman in a rather loud suit and a sash that said “MAYOR” in big red letters. Violet wondered if he wore it all the time. “Roy Stantz!” He greeted Ray.

“It’s Ray… again…” Ray reminded him. 

“When I heard our hometown hero was coming back for the high school reunion, I had to come say hello! And I also heard a rumor that you were bringing a famous celebrity author…” He turned his full attention to Violet, ignoring that Ray looked ready to say something. “Violet Bellamy, I presume? I recognize you from all those magazine covers! I’d just like to tell you what an honor it is to have you in our little town!”

“Um, Thank you.” Violet said as the mayor grabbed her hand and shook it all too eagerly. 

“The town council would love to have you do a speech at the town hall, Miss Bellamy. Maybe take a few photos to put in the newspaper and hang on the walls of my office. How about the morning after the reunion?” 

“Uh… sure.” They were taking the train at noon the day after the reunion anyway. Although Violet kind of hated the way this guy brushed over Ray for her. She wouldn’t have been as successful as she was if it wasn’t for his expertise in the paranormal. And something about the way the people in this town treated him…

They finally made it inside, and after they got partway through their dinner, a pretty girl interrupted them, smiling wide as she pulled up a chair in between the two of them and faced Ray. “Ray, it’s so good to see you again!”

“Hi, Elaine.” Ray said.

“I’m so sorry I haven't called since the last time we saw each other. I know I said I would, but I’ve just been so busy fixing up the house I inherited that you messed up while you were trying to catch the ghosts that were haunting the place, and it just kinda slipped my mind until this reunion!” She said, upbeat.

“Oh, that’s okay, it’s only been… a few months.”

“I knew you’d understand! Hey, why don’t you come over tomorrow before the reunion and help me out? I remember you being real handy back in high school. I have a few walls that still need repairing, and some electrical work, and maybe a bit of the plumbing. I know it’s a lot, but you were such a good friend back in the day, I remember how you used to always jump start my old car whenever my boyfriend couldn’t because he was at basketball practice, even when it was raining out! So, what do you say?”

“Well, I kind of already had plans…”

She laid her hand on his arm and batted her eyelashes. “Please, Ray?”

Ray sighed. “Well, maybe I can swing by really quick and take a look at the place.”

“You’re so good to me, Ray! You know, I’ve still been reading all the newspaper articles with you in them. Your success has been very interesting to me.” She winked, and left without even acknowledging Violet. 

Ray shot her an apologetic look. “I’m sorry…” he whispered to her. 

Violet didn’t respond. In fact, she didn’t say much of anything until they were back in the room at the inn. But, then she just had to ask. “Why do you let these people treat you this way?”

Ray sighed. “I don’t know. Coming back here has always felt… wrong, somehow. High school was honestly the most difficult time of my life. When I moved here, my parents had just died, and I wasn’t getting along with my siblings, and I felt so small and helpless and alone. It wasn’t until I left for college in the big city that I stopped being so shy, and when I’m in this town again, I feel like that sad little teenager again.” 

“So, why do you come back?”

“Because, for some inexplicable reason, I feel like I have something to prove to these people. Like, no matter what I do, how successful I get, I’m always gonna be that weird kid who’s going nowhere in life to them! I know it’s pathetic, but I’ve felt that way ever since I left this town.”

“Ray…” Violet wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry these people make you feel that way. And I’m sorry I got upset with you. I didn’t know…”

Late that night, as Ray slept on the cot in the corner of the room, Violet slipped out of the bed and opened her suitcase. She dug through the clothes she had packed until she found the outfits Steffi had slipped into her suitcase, despite her protesting. She looked over at Ray, who was snoring lightly. She laid the outfit neatly on the top of the pile of clothes, and then shut it again.

-

Violet stepped out of the inn wearing a halter top romper in deep red with matching red chunky heels with an ankle strap. Her short brown hair fell in a perfect wave down to just below her jawline and was piled to one side. Her red lips curled into a smile when she saw Ray waiting for her outside. His mouth fell open when he saw her. She put her finger under his chin and shut his open mouth gently “C’mon, babe. Let’s go see a girl about a house.” He couldn’t help but stare at the way the thin silk fabric of her shorts wrapped around her curves as she walked ahead of him, leading him by the hand to the old mansion on the outskirts of town. 

As they walked down the street in the middle of town, every man who passed them turned their heads to stare at Violet as long as they could. Some literally stopped dead in their tracks when they spotted her. A couple teenagers walked up to them. “Hey, are you Violet Bellamy?”

“Yeah, I am!” Violet smiled.

“No way! I can’t believe it’s really you! I loved your last book. Scariest thing I’ve ever read, it gave me nightmares for days!”

“Thanks!” 

“Hey, could I, like, get your autograph?”

At the mansion, Violet wrapped herself around Ray as Elaine approached, taking his arm in hers while the other one rested on his chest. The other girl faltered in her gait as she took in the sight of Violet, before bringing herself the rest of the way down the dirt path. “Hi, Ray! Glad you could make it!” 

“Uh…” Ray’s voice shook. He forgot what exactly he was supposed to say in response, nor could he remember to take his eyes off of Violet as she rubbed the center of his chest in a slow, steady rhythm. “Yeah, sure, Elaine.” He finally squeaked out. Violet smiled at him, pleased with his response. 

She turned that smug smile to the shocked girl in front of them. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Violet Bellamy, Ray’s girlfriend.” The hand on his arm slid up to his shoulder as the hand on his chest reached out palm upwards.

“Uh… Hi.” Elaine shook hands briefly, still in disbelief. 

“Ray just came over to see the house, like he said he would last night at dinner. Right, baby?” Violet laid her red fingertips on Ray’s cheek. He swallowed hard. “Uh-huh.” He nodded.

She chuckled. “He is so sweet. It’s one of the things I love about him. Just like an angel, sent down from Heaven just for me…” Violet let her face get closer and closer to Ray’s as she spoke. She took one last look at Elaine’s dumbfounded face before closing the gap between her red lips and Ray’s, initiating their first kiss and her first ever kiss. She hoped it was really as simple as Steffi told her it was, wrapping her lips around Ray’s bottom lip, sucking a little, and moving them slowly against his. She hoped it looked enough like they had done this before, and more importantly, she hoped Ray was enjoying it. When she pulled away, the bright red blush in his cheeks and the blissful expression on his face told her he had, to her ecstatic delight. 

Satisfied, she turned to Elaine again. “Well, we said we’d look at the house.” She looked the house up and down. “You were right. It does need work. See you at the reunion!” She led Ray by the arm away from the house and away from its now fuming mad owner. 

“Violet…?” Ray started.

“What? I’m supposed to be your girlfriend, aren’t I?” She looked up at him. As gratifying as that was, she hoped he didn’t think she had gone too far. He closed his mouth again and only looked at her with sad, pleading eyes. “Are you alright, Ray?”

“I… it’s nothing.” 

-

They spent the rest of the day walking around Ray’s old neighborhood, going by his old house and all his favorite spots where he spent his free time. That night, they went to the high school gym for the reunion party. Violet was sitting at a table covered with a blue tablecloth and gold confetti, sipping on whiskey ginger Ray just brought her before excusing himself to use the restroom. Alan sat down next to Violet and placed his beer on the table. “Hey gorgeous. Do you wanna dance?”

Violet put her head in her hand. “I’d rather die.”

“C’mon, baby, what else are you gonna do? Sit around with Ray all night? I know I could show you a way better time.”

Violet blinked. Without a word, she picked up his beer with her free hand and poured it onto his crotch. She put the cup back on the table, and smiled slightly. 

Alan jumped up from the table. “You little tramp! Who do you think you are?” 

“Well, I’m not an ex-high school quarterback desperately trying to relive the glory days that are far behind me, that’s for sure.” 

“You think that’s funny?”

“I think it’s true. I think you’re pathetic. You’ve been handed everything you’ve ever gotten because of some stupid game, and now that you don’t have that to lean on anymore you’ve realized that you’re nothing but a waste of space, and your life is going nowhere. I think you’re half the man Ray is, and you always have been, and you always will be.” 

He grabbed her by the elbow and lifted her up from the table. “No one talks to me that way, you little-”

Ray came up from behind and ripped Alan’s hand away from Violet’s arm, spinning him to face him before punching him square in the face, knocking him unconscious. He fell to the floor with a loud thud that echoed through the gym, causing everyone to look. “Well, maybe someone should, Al. It’d be the first time anyone’s been honest with you.” He crossed over to Violet, taking her in his arms. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Ray.” She put her hands on his chest. “You were incredible.” She looked over at Alan lying face down on the floor. Ray looked up and saw that the entire gym full of people were now staring at the two of them. Violet kept her eyes on him as she continued. “Ray, you’re so wonderful. You’re sweet, you’re brilliant, you’re so brave, you always do what’s right, even when it’s difficult, even when it’s a detriment to you. I’m so lucky just to know you, to have someone like you in my life. I love you.” Violet wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into the crook of his neck. 

His face heated up, but his movements were stiff as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “Violet…?”

“Yes, Ray?”

“...Can we leave?”

“Yeah. Let’s leave.”

Ray had a strange, almost angry look on his face as he walked, faster than he normally did, with Violet to their room. For the first time since she had known him, she was almost afraid to ask him what was wrong. “Ray…?”

He didn’t respond. He sat on the bed, facing away from her.

“Did I do something wrong today?” 

He stood up. “You’ve been driving me crazy, all day…”

“I’m sorry. I might have laid it on a little too thick, I guess….”

“The way you look, and all the touching, and the compliments, and that kiss…”

“Ray, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable…”

“I want it to be real!” he whirled around to face Violet, tears in his eyes.

“You do?”

“I want it so bad! I’ve wanted you ever since the day we met, but today was just… I couldn’t stand it! I feel like I’ve been losing my mind all day! I need it to be real! I need to know, did you mean any of it?” 

“Ray…” Violet ran to him, wrapping him up tight in a hug. “Yes, sweetheart, I meant it. I meant all of it. You’re the most wonderful, amazing, incredible man in the whole world, and I’ve been madly in love with you from day one. You’re so far beyond anyone in this town, I couldn’t stand the way they treated you. I wanted them to see what I see in you. You deserve someone who adores you, worships you, who would never take you for granted or treat you like you’re beneath them. Ray, I want you to see that in yourself!” Violet kissed him on his lips. “I want you to realize how incredible you are, how much you mean to me!” She kept kissing him, on his cheeks, his nose, his jawline. “And I… I don’t want you to sleep on that cot tonight!” 

“Oh, Violet…” Ray wrapped his arms around her and gently guided her onto the bed, kissing her. 

-

Violet stepped out of the inn wearing a tight black knee-length dress with a square neckline, elbow-length sleeves, and a high slit up her left leg. Her brown hair was smoothed back, the tips just barely covering the top of her neck. She had left Ray lying in bed, still fast asleep. What she has to do this morning wouldn’t take long. She had a speech prepared that this town would never forget. 

When she walked into the crowded town hall, all conversation halted immediately. She stood behind the podium and surveyed the crowd, unsmiling. “Every single one of you is scum  compared to Ray Stantz. Even if he wasn’t a Ghostbuster. Even if he wasn’t famous. Even if he wasn’t anything even close to successful. He will always be twice the person any one of you are. And you’re all going to get what’s coming to you.”

Nobody could say anything. Even the ones that wanted to couldn’t seem to make their mouths move, no matter how hard they tried. “All of you will stay trapped in this town, like rats in a cage, and rot. He and I will have good fortune and happiness, and you will only have despair. I place a curse upon your town now.” She raised her hands, covered to the wrist in gloves of black silk, and whispered. “Acadiona Ludio Impbeo Angarum Noreabus.”

 She left the stage and walked through the silent crowd. She didn’t stop until she reached the room where Ray was just waking up. “I’m sorry I slept through your speech, honey. How did it go?” 

“I think it went very well. Let’s go home now, darling.”

[time-travelling-chaos]

Ok rant because I need to scream about it.

So, I sometimes watch the Circle game on Netflix, because yes, it's a bit terrible, but it's fun, and I like to see people interacting together, especially as they often end up sharing personal things and supporting each other which I love to see. Plus, there are often really cool people that I like to see in media and that I like to see sharing their experiences, like queer people or people with ADHD.

So I was quite happy to see there was a new season, especially as I'm not that ok right now, and it's often something I like to watch when I'm feeling a bit down, as it doesn't need a lot of focus and can take my mind off of things easily.

But then I see they put a fucking AI in the game. So it's already bad, fuck AI, I don't want it in my games, I don't want it anywhere, the WHOLE POINT of this game is to see people interact together not to see how an AI perform as a human. But I'm there like ok I like this game, so let's just give it a shot, maybe it won't be too much of a deal.

But then, of course, they make a big twist about it, so players starts to analyse everyone's behaviour to see who could be the AI. And a lot of them thinks about Steffi, because she is kinda flat in her speech, and uses a lot of complex words that of course no one uses in real life, her jokes are bad. Plus she knows a lot about that one topic, like how can she knows about horoscopes right away? Like? It's her job? And people can know things? And she is into horoscopes, but also did well on the rap battle? Like people can do and like several things?

But yeah, the speech thing (and especially the complex vocabulary part) really really threw me off, especially because all of it are bascially autistic traits, like the complex vocabulary and stuff. Like of course this was going to happen, why no one in the production thought about that? So yeah, I'm really upset about this right now, and kinda sad as well, and the idea of some autistic traits being considered as not so human, and this being portrayed on popular media like this make my really mad, and I'm not really ok right now.

(And to be clear, I don't think Steffi is autistic, she is a real person, I'm not saying anything about her, I'm just talking about how autistics traits can be perceveied in media.)

So yeah, really upset now, and I'm kinda annoyed, because I like this show usually, and I like some of the contestants a lot for now (like Brandon and QT I love them), but I'm not sure I'll be able to keep watching it now, and it makes me sad.

[steffigraf]

15 & 17 for the tennis ask game :) -from @rublobeloved's main <3

15. who's your personal player of the year?

answered for the atp in the previous ask!! on the wta though it has to be coco bc like. the way she got her first 500 and first 1000 and first slam all over the course of one summer, and all on home soil? legendary stuff. i’m a sucker for home player winning a home tournament

17. you can bring back one retired player next season, but you have to permanently retire another player. which pair of players would you choose?

okay my first thought was ash barty bc i rly wanted to see her game. but then i cant bring myself to unretire her tbh bc like i truly 100% admire her for being at the top of her career and looking around and saying “hey. this is enough. i’m satisfied.” LIKE idk i’m rambling but it’s insane how she did it. the ability to recognize that you don’t really want more is something that so few people have. so yeah no she can stay retired good for her!

and in line with that. IDK i dunno who to unretire now. roger is great and i would also love to have seen him but he’s had like the most perfect send off ever and idw to mess with that

you know what let’s just say steffi graf bc she’s my mom’s favorite player of all time and i would’ve loved to see that. as for who i’m retiring……………. i’m not familiar enough with the wta to have anyone i want gone there sjdhdjdjd can i just take out both z*erev and k*rgios from the atp to make up for it lmao

[lfthinkerwrites]

'Uncle Eddie'

The winning oneshot! Rated T for canon typical violence, referenced drug use and referenced child abuse.

Stephanie Brown is eight years old when she first meets Edward Nigma.

Her father doesn't lock in the closet anymore whenever he has his 'friends' over. She's gotten too big for that. Now, he tells her to stay in her room. There's no lock on her door though, so she can look down into the living room from the top of the stairs.

Three people are at the small dining room table across from her father tonight. Two of them are women, one tall and blonde, the other short with dark hair. They're standing behind a man, sitting at a chair directly across from Stephanie's father. He has reddish brown hair and is wearing a green leotard. Stephanie can just make out the purple question mark on his chest. She thinks she hears her father call him 'Eddie'. Her mother is, once again, nowhere in sight. She's probably asleep.

Stephanie can hear her stomach growl. She hasn't eaten since before school, but her father will yell at her if he sees her coming down the stairs. She'll have to wait until later, to get a snack from the fridge, if anyone went to the grocery store. As quietly as she can, Stephanie scoots away from the railing and turns to head to her room.

She wasn't quiet enough. The blonde woman turns sharply and catches sight of her. Her eyes widen and she swats the green man on the shoulder. "Boss!"

All four heads turn at once, and Stephanie is frozen to her spot. Her father's face turns red and she knows she's in for it. The green man, Eddie, merely raises an eyebrow. "Arthur," he says. "You didn't tell me we had company."

"It's just my kid," her father says, rubbing the back of his head. He gives Stephanie a strained smile. "Go to your room, Steffie. Daddy and Uncle Eddie have grown-up stuff to do."

Stephanie nods. The man called Eddie looks at her a moment longer. He has green eyes. Cold eyes. Stephanie can't get back to her room fast enough.

When Stephanie is twelve, her father comes back from jail with an unwanted guest. "Hey Steffie," he says. "You remember Uncle Eddie, don't you? He's going to be staying with us for a few days."

Stephanie knows full well who he is now. Edward Nigma. The Riddler. He and her father are working on some big score. She knows what her father is now too. Cluemaster. A wannabe crook trying to ride Nigma's coattails. Nigma walks into her living room like he owns it, giving her mother, drowsy on the sofa, a disdainful look. He turns to look at Stephanie, and a shadow passes over his face. It's soon replaced by a smirk. "Tiffany, isn't it?" he asks.

"Stephanie," she answers, fists clenching. He shrugs and continues on his way.

"I hope you're not expecting me to crash on your sofa, Arthur," he says.

"Of course not," her father says. "You can stay in Stephanie's room."

Stephanie whirls around. "What? Where am I gonna sleep?"

"You can take the couch for a few days. It's just until Uncle Eddie gets his gang back together." Her father is right in front of her, his nails digging into her shoulder. He's smiling, but she sees the warning in his eyes. "Suck it up, Kiddo."

"Arthur," her mother calls out. "Don't make her sleep out here-"

"Oh, look who's finally awake," her father sneers, letting go of Stephanie's shoulder and storming to the couch. "You finally sleep off that hangover of yours?"

Stephanie looks away from her parents and over to Nigma. He looks bored, maybe a little irritated but he says and does nothing. She hears her mother let out a sharp cry and sees that her father has grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her off the couch. He looks like he's going to slap her.

"Stop!" she cried out. Both of her parents look at her. "It's ok Mom," she says. "I can sleep on the couch."

Her father lets go of her mother. "See, Crystal? It's fine." He stomps over to the dining room table. "Come here, Eddie, I got some plans I wanted to run by you."

Before Stephanie goes to her mother, she looks at Nigma. Surely, he won't want to work with her father after this? Surely, he'll leave. Maybe, just maybe, he'll-

Nigma's gone to the dining room table without a second glance at Stephanie or her mother. He saw everything, and he said and did nothing. Stephanie doesn't hate Nigma like she's coming to hate her father, but she decides then and there that she hates him all the same.

When Stephanie is fifteen, she finally gets to act on that hatred. She's been following her father around on his latest scheme, following him all the way to an old toy factory Except, it's Nigma's scheme. He's just letting her father take the fall for it. She's left enough clues for Robin and Batman to follow and they're here, going through Nigma's mooks like a knife through butter. Her sperm donor is on the ground with a broken jaw and she smiles from the rafter she's hidden herself on.

She catches sight of a figure in a green suit, running towards a back exit. Nigma. While she can appreciate him leaving her Daddy Dearest to the wolves, she's still not going to let him get away. Her hand goes to her makeshift belt and she grabs a Batarang, one she grabbed from the last scheme she spoiled before Batdick chased her off. She takes aim and throws it.

She has to stifle a cheer as the Batarang connects, hitting Nigma in the back of the head and causing him to stumble forward and fall with a grunt. Aww, did you get your suit dirty? Asshole. He rolls over and looks up, his eyes meeting hers. She doesn't think he recognizes her through the full-face spoiler mask, so she contents herself by flipping him the bird. Eat shit, 'Uncle Eddie'. Batman is approaching him now and Stephanie climbs up the rafters, out the open skylight where she came in. She doesn't need to hear Batdick giving her the riot act. Again.

Stephanie Brown is twenty now and so much has changed. She's Batgirl now, finally wearing the symbol after so long looking in from the outside, even if she still can't say that Bruce is her favorite person. She's in Nigma's apartment, watching as a former enemy hugs a girl close to him, kissing her on the forehead and looking at her like she's the most important thing in his world.

Ellie is like a funhouse mirror. At first glance, she can't help but see the similarities. They're both young scrappers from the lower end of the economic spectrum. They both have attitudes to spare. They both have a love for art and creating it, though Ellie's drawings trump Stephanie's any day of the week. And of course, they both have puzzle-themed criminal fathers.

That's where the reflection becomes warped.

Ellie grew up in safety, not knowing who or what her father was. She didn't have a father, but that was better than having the Riddler as a father. Stephanie's under no illusions what kind of father the man she knew as a child would have been. And yet...she sees the man she knew as 'Uncle Eddie', the man with cold green eyes, the man who did nothing as Arthur Brown abused his family, the man who's left so much damage in his wake, hug a girl who took a chance and decided to love him anyway.

Where was this man ten years ago?

She should be happy for Ellie, and she is. Every girl deserves a father's love. She worries though. There's so much baggage that comes with being the Riddler's daughter, even if Ellie isn't aware of it yet. So much potential danger, even without Strange and Sharp, and Bolton to worry about.

And sometimes, love isn't enough.

Stephanie looks at the man she once knew as 'Uncle Eddie' and hopes to God that in this case, love will be enough.

[imaginefan]

Hey so sorry I just love your writing can you do a prologue for the new baby

Where the reader gets drunk and sleeps with Jeremy and Tyler and Caroline finds them but keeps it a secret from Stefan who is the readers adopted Uncle and Damon the readers adopted father ( Who takes his job seriously) Elena and Matt and Bonnie.

3 months later

The reader tries to hid her symptoms but at school she sees Jeremy talking with Bonnie and finds out they are secretly dating and she goes to her class Ric's class and he starts teaching but the reader gets dizzy she hasn't been able to keep blood down or food so she passes out and Stefan and Ric help her and Stefan takes her home and Damon become mother hen and he stays with her to she wakes and the reader convinces Damon to go to the grill. Reader sneaks out and buys pregnancy tests and takes them and sees the unholy sign positive and she cries and takes out her phone and text Jeremy to get over to the boarding house.

She tells Jeremy she is pregnant not knowing that Stefan and Elena are up in his room and the could hear the reader tell Jeremy and they get into a argument.

2 months later

Damon is angry at Jeremy but is a doting granddad to be big appointment today for reader she is gonna find out the genders of the twins.

The reader goes down the stairs and sees Elena talking with Jeremy and their aunt Jenna. The reader puts a fake smile and Jeremy does a nob to her they haven't really spoken he didn't want to be a father just yet and didn't get time to process till everyone found out and now he didn't get a choice. Dad comes out and asks " Now what theme do you want the nursery because we don't know the genders yet so it may be two nurseries." I look at him and say " If it is a girl I was thinking a princess theme I always wanted that and for a boy Classic wood crib." Damon nods and looks at Stefan and silently commands him

2 hours later

I am sitting in the comfortable chair that I made Damon buy ( He can't say no to my puppy eyes.) Caroline pulls Tyler and Matt into the room and Bonnie is behind her and Caroline sees me and asks " What are they tell me now I can't wait." I look at her and say " Girl and Boy." Caroline looks excited when I said girl and then looks sad at a boy she says " I better forty for two girls and Bonnie betting for two boys." Damon helps her up and she goes to her room and sees a present she opens it and sees an old copy of nursery rhymes and a note it says " For your little ones hope they get common sense and a survivor instincts love mom.

The day the reader gives birth

The reader is in her bed alone because they are trying to protect Elena from a big bad wolf guy.

When the reader has been having bad cramps all day feels dampness like she peed herself but she knew she didn't she panic and screams.

She pulls out her phone calls Jeremy no answer and she calls Damon with no luck she calls Stefan who is with Caroline answers and rushes to help his niece but puts Caroline in charge of finding Jeremy and Damon. Stefan finds the reader in the birthing room she is screaming and looks at Stefan for help she says " Uncle Steffie I am so scared what if the die or I am a terrible mother what if they don't love me or CPS takes them away." Stefan pulls the reader into a hug and checks on the dilation of the reader and sees she is at 9 cm and Stefan prays that Damon and Jeremy can witness this moment.

Caroline found Damon who had his phone off when she found him when he heard he grabs them some stuff and raced home now Caroline is trying to get Jeremy who won't answer and she tried Bonnie who is to busy kissing Jeremy.

Jeremy misses the birth of the twins as they were being born he was sleeping with Bonnie.

Damon holds The readers hand as she gives birth to the twins and the reader passes out when the girl is born and Stefan crabs the baby girl and Damon holds the boy and Stefan checks on the babies and says " They are healthy but I am worried on the reader." Damon nods and pulls out his phone and calls Caroline to update her." Caroline who has had enough goes to Bonnie's house and storms up to Bonnie's room and opens the door and Jeremy gets off Bonnie and Bonnie says " What Care?" Caroline says " If you guys answer your phoned you would know the reader just had the twins." Jeremy eyes bulge out of his face he gets dressed and he gets to the salvatores as fast as he can and he goes inside and sees the fells nurse checking over the reader and sees Damon holding onto the boy twin and Stefan with the girl twin and the nurse looks at me and asks " We'll Dad what are babies names and I answer Jayleen Katerina and Asher Conrad." Damon glares at me and says " You already missed the birth you couldn't take I don't know 5 minutes for a shower." Damon hands me Asher and goes to the reader and bites his wrist and feeds her some of his blood and the reader gets more color back and wakes up and hugs Damon and asks " Are Asher and Jayleen okay?" Damon says " They are okay thank God Stefan had medical knowledge and also took midwife lessons." Jeremy hands reader Asher and the reader eyes fill with love and she whispers Nothing is gonna hurt you or Jayleen because we are Pierces and Salvatores."

Hey this is a really cool story however with the way that the first par t was set this wouldn't fit as a prequel for the first part as Klaus was there before she gave birth to the twins, that being said I think that I would be able to assign their own story to their pregnancy as well.

[mycameraandmythings]

Truths

You are getting ready to leave. You go get your jacket, put on your shoes and as soon as you open the door, you have uninvited guests waiting for you on the hall.

At first you don’t see them, but as you walk to the front door through them, a cold breeze goes all over your neck down to your back and as if they were crashing the best party ever, they decide to stick around. 

I guess we all have our fears, our ghosts. I’ve always pictured them like some sort of Dementors that are invisible to people, but are there with you all the time. And I imagined them coming in the most unannounced and unexpected way ever… Maybe that’s why I always have cold hands.

A few of them are my messiest roommates. I have asked them to leave but my Patronus is not strong enough yet. However, there is this one Dementor. He’s been been with me for quite a long time and I admit that I’m afraid that, after so long, this fear can become a truth. A reality.

And a truth spoken by someone else, has another sound, a different wave. And if that person is someone you care about, then it’s like a katana going through your heart. That’s why this hurts way more than when I see my Dementor everyday. 

I guess when you don’t have so many things, it’s easier not to get attached to stuff you don’t own. Makes sense, right? The least you have, the easier it is to adapt to unknown situations. So for example, if you want or have to move, change country or whatever, then you only have to worry about the things that you have. When I moved for the first time, I put an ocean in between my family and the only life I had known and I flew with only two suitcases. Nothing else. 

It’s been 12 and a half years of that.

But what happens when your life changes? At some point, it has to. Of course, we all grow and want different things. I’ve been searching for stability for so long that instead, it has become a shadow that follows me around all day long, every single day. Sometimes, I think it’s just making fun of me, honestly.

In the last three years, a lot has happened. I found a good job and the stability (in the most literal meaning) that I was looking for. But I discovered that stability is not just having a 9 to 5 job and a fixed salary every month. Of course this helps, but stability, actually, has another side: it’s a house that feels like home; it’s friends who like spending time with you and creating memories; it’s time shared with those who live in your heart. Does it make sense? 

As I think I have been slowly ticking a few items on the list to complete the recipe of stability (this feels like it’s taking foreveeeer!) one of the Dementors, grew stronger since last weekend. You see, two weeks ago, my first ever sofa, arrived to my new apartment. It’s a three place sofa but really wide; and because of something I heard that got stuck in my heart, I started thinking what if this is too much of a dream for me? Is this “too big” for me? Not only the sofa, the whole thing…

It’s kind of that feeling when you buy some clothes that you really like, for example, and they turned out to fit a little bit big on you… what would you do? Would you keep them even if they don’t look that bad or would you return them?

My best friend can perfectly see when one of my Dementors is draining me and she can cast her Patronus immediately so I could breathe again. She would probably say that I should do what I want and not listen to anyone. Steffy would say that nothing should matter more than what I think. She would say that this is my “home” and that’s what counts. 

I know she’s right. 

But the Dementor of doubt has been playing in my living room this week and I can’t help to wonder if maybe I was dreaming way beyond my possibilities. Do I actually fit here? I’ve always thought it was alright to aim high enough and always wondered if I could reach there… is it a bad thing?

The truth is that I live alone in what somedays feels like a giant’s castle. My apartment is big, with enough space and perfectly fine for just one. But it’s true that when you start to build your home, especially in a country that’s not yours, you dream of having people around as much as possible. You dream of having a physical space big enough to share with a partner and a perfect excuse to just get together. And that is exactly what I want.

I still have some points on the list waiting to be ticked. But with doubt disorganising my house, I ask myself: if this is too big for me, then what should I aim for? Where am I standing and where should I go? Am I going to have the opportunity to have my own “home”, share it with someone everyday and having friends around pretty often? 

If the answer, dear Universe, is yes, then my last question is: when is it going to be my turn?

Madrid, August 2017.

[diminuel]

1/2 Dont know if its something wrong with my cake (ty foxymoley for this analogy) or what but when engagement drops so much from what you were used to its hard not to take it personally? i know everyone says that theres been a drop and its probably normal but... it seems like some people still hit their prev standards and it feels like *audience is still here so what am i doing wrong*

2/2 theres a bunch of stuff i made this year but didnt share bc posting is less a rush now and more bracing yourself for feeling bad and insecure. Which i know is the wrong way to do fandom but idk im human and legit insecure so. Anyway always love your content and presence here Steffi, youre a pillar of fandom and some of the best this whole place has to offer. Hope things look up 💙💚

Aww, thank you ♥

And I agree with you, you can't help wondering if you are doing something wrong if the engagement drops. No matter how often people say it's not you, it's the platform. And, as you say, people are still getting good engagement, so the fandom isn't dead.

I try to post and not think about it after that, but that's not natural either for fandom. Fandom thrives on community and just posting into the void like I'm not part of a community doesn't feel particularly good. Of course, I'm not good at reaching out to others, so art is one of the few ways I have of "communicating". (Even though most of the time I'm not sure what I'm saying with my art. It's probably just an inarticulate :DDDD or >:3 *lol*)

Anyway. I hope you continue to take your cake to our fandom party, though I definitely understand that you hesitate to share all of it. ♥♥

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

15 Questions

Thanks for the tag @radiowallet 💞

1. are you named after anyone?

I don't think so, though Steffi Graf (the tennis player) and me share the birthday so my step dad used to joke I was named after her

2. when was the last time you cried?

i... actually don't know.

3. do you have kids?

nope

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

is the sky blue?

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

eyes. You can tell a lot by peoples eyes.

6. what’s your eye colour?

brown baby

7. scary movies or happy endings?

yes

8. any special talents?

hmmmm... not really. Though I did say I am exceptionally talented at staring at a wall

9. where were you born?

in the German capital in the year of 1990 (we had another one back in the day)

10: what are your hobbies?

writing, traveling, baking, procastinating

11. have you any pets?

I don't. My mom has a dog (used to be two, but sadly one died last year) and she's my child.

12: what sports do you play/have you played?

LOL I don't do sports. I used to to ballet when I was little, but my ballet teacher downright told me I was getting to fat, so I quit

13: how tall are you?

5'4

14. favourite subject in school?

history!!!

15. dream job?

honestly? I would love to work as someone who professionally organises closets and pantry's and stuff

NP tags: @lunaserenade @just-here-for-the-moment @sizzlingcloudmentality @wheresarizona @whiskeynwriting @guess-my-next-obsession

[seavegetableconspiracies]

Why did you fail the exam?

Oh you know, instead of studying I was staring out the window and waiting, trying to finally feel brave enough to smack away the big bad spider once it reappears

[ghostchasersmagazine]

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids model sheets pt. 1 - Full Body References

I was requested to upload all of the Butch Cassidy model sheets I got, so here’s part one of it. My commentary/thoughts on these under the cut.

- Butch only has four poses on his sheet while the other Sundance Kids get five. Not sure why they didn’t feel the need to draw him in a side view, but it does feel fitting for his character to me.

- Speaking of the side views, the purpose of them seems inconsistent between the other three Sundance Kids. Stephanie’s pose is quite literally a side view of one of her other poses on the sheet (as one would expect on a turn-around like this), while Merilee and Wally’s are entirely new poses. 

- Comparing these sheets to the advertisements that were sent for the show, it looks like everyone’s “default” pose for those was pulled from them (and in Wally’s case flipped around) expect for Merilee’s, who has a different front-facing pose between the two of them. Why she has pseudo-unique pose like that (I say pseudo because the pose is just a front-facing version of two of the other poses on her sheet) and the other don’t is unknown to me.

- This is more of a general note, but I do find it interesting that Stephanie is officially labeled as “Steffy” on advertisements and her model sheet and stuff. It does make sense since she is called that in-show, but it just makes me wonder if that was something that was carried over from when she was a bit younger than the rest of the Sundance Kids/Butch’s little sister.

- I like how both Stephanie and Wally have their front poses with their arms behind their back. Polite siblings.

- I find it very amusing that even though he doesn’t have a turn-around, Elvis still gets a sheet. He’s just standing there.

[aheartshapedgun]

charlie had a crazy dream where all the famous ilsaethan writers, you steffi and a bunch of others from twitter, all created like a text group chat and for some reason added me and i was totally shocked and then steffi went like “i became a mom!!!” and then sent a dog photo and everyone was like ohhh that makes sense. and we were all discussing ilsaethan and stuff except i was just lurking and watching bc like. omg. all the twt mutuals added me. this is terrifying

as someone who rarely says a word in group chats unless i’m triggered by some dumb take or really invested in the subject matter, i get it lol

[liamhaydn-blog]

The 4 Kings and The Big 4: 2 era’s dominated by greatness.

In discussing his passion for Boxing, Andy Murray explained: ““There are similarities with tennis: taking time away from your opponent, neutralising their strengths, finding their weaknesses. When someone watches a tennis match they say stuff like, ‘Why doesn’t he just play to his forehand?’ But when you get out there on the court, it’s not that easy. The same with boxing. There are things I won’t see that boxers would see – like Floyd Mayweather, for instance. You might think he’s easy to back up and get him on the ropes. But, if it was that simple, everyone would do it. It’s the same with tennis. The best players make it look simple, but it’s incredibly difficult. There are times in points and times in matches where you want your opponent to make mistakes, you aren’t trying to hit winners, but you’re trying to put the ball in awkward and difficult positions. Then there are times when you have to go in there and assert yourself, try and finish points. There are definitely similarities between the two sports.” 

Another similarity comes in two era’s of the sports, where the landscape was ruled by 4 men. 4 men whose compelling rivalries with each other captivated audiences from all over the world. Between them they dominated their fields. The “4 Kings” of Boxing: Roberto Duran, Sugar Ray Leonard, Marvellous Marvin Hagler and Tommy ‘Hitman’ Hearns. Between them they were World Champions in every weight class from Lightweight all the way up to Cruiserweight. Duran’s record up to his 43rd Birthday was 92 wins in 101 fights, 65 coming by way of knockout. Combining that with the record of the other 4 Kings, saw over 250 combined wins, 190 by knockout. 

The ‘Big 4′ of men’s tennis comprised of Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic and Andy Murray. In 63 slams played between Wimbledon 2004 and the 2020 Australian Open, the Big 4 won 57 of the 63 available slams. Between the French Open of 2005 and Wimbledon 2022, atleast one Big 4 member was in the final in 59 of the 61 majors. They have won a total of 66 slams, and played a combined 104 finals. Between 2011 and 2016, atleast one member of the Big 4 was in 53 of 54 Masters 1000 finals played, winning 50. Between them they have won over 4,000 tour level matches. 

These 8 men were all special in their own right, but what elevated them was their rivalries which will be remembered for eternity. This piece will look at similarities between The 4 Kings and The Big 4, both in individuals and in their rivalries and it will draw comparisons between Leonard and Federer, Hearns and Nadal, Hagler and Djokovic, aswell as Duran to Murray.  

As the curtains began to come down on the extraordinary career of Muhammad Ali, too slowly and too sadly, as he made his last defences by either carrying no-mark opponents who had no business fighting for the Heavyweight title, or else absorbing cringing punishment against dangerous men, the Boxing business began a frantic search for the man who could replace him. 

In Sugar Ray Leonard, they found the ideal guy. He had everything, as if  manufactured solely for the purpose of being the new face of boxing. He had the Olympic Gold Medal, an even more dazzling smile, easy charm and wit, a charisma which instantly connected him to people watching on the small screen at home, and skills inside the ring only seen once in a generation. Leonard emerged as the perfect fighter for the perfect moment in time, the space Ali had made for Boxing in the public consciousness could never again be filled by just one man, but Ray would come as close as anyone could. 

Roger Federer also arrived on the scene at an opportune moment. ‘Pistol’ Pete Sampras left the sport in 2002 having won his 14th major, he retired as the man with the most grand slams in history. His playing style however, aswell as his personality off the court had done little to attract new diverse audiences to the sport, and the 1990′s saw Women’s tennis with stars like Steffi Graf, Monica Seles and Martina Hingis flourish more successfully. The arrival of the Williams Sisters saw the Women’s game transition seamlessly into a strong new era, whereas the men’s game looked for who would take up Sampras’ mantle. 

The most likely candidate was young Aussie Lleyton Hewitt who defeated Sampras to win his maiden Grand Slam aged 20, and followed this up by becoming World Number 1 and winning Wimbledon the following year. If at that time you’d said a pony-tailed Swiss dude by the name of Roger Federer would soon become one of the most dominant and giant figures the Sport had ever seen, it would have been hard to conceive. But that’s exactly what happened. From the moment Federer ugly-cried after winning his first Grand Slam title, he never looked back. He embarked on a period of total domination, winning  5 straight Wimbledon’s and 5 straight US Open’s. 

Between 2004 and 2007, Federer won 11 out of 16 majors played, and reached the final of a further 2. Between 2003 and 2005, he won 24 consecutive finals. And yet although they were, It wasn’t the numbers that were most astonishing thing about Federer. It was his popularity which rose at a meteoric rate and quickly reached a level rarely, if ever seen before in the Sport of Tennis. He kept on winning, and the media and fans seemingly never tired of it. They didn’t root for underdogs against him, didn’t want to see new names on the trophies, they just wanted Federer. This was down to a brand of tennis that was uniquely Federer’s, a style which has spawned many copycats since who have tried to recapture some of his magic. 

The effortless easy power which came naturally off his racquet, requiring no grunts of endeavour, racing through matches often without breaking a sweat, without muttering a single word in anguish, as why waste a breath when you can wield your weapon and paint the court like a canvas with one majestic shot after another. The one word most associated with Federer throughout his career is ‘classy’ and that’s because it applied to him both on and off the court. He was near impossible to ruffle either by opponents across the net, or by journalists in the press room. Not that journos would often try to as their fawning over him would not subside for the best part of two decades. 

Boxing had chosen Leonard as it’s new star, Federer gave Tennis no choice, he decimated and wiped the floor with the field. But Leonard quickly proved himself a worthy choice, capturing the Welterweight World title in his 3rd year as a pro by stopping Wilfredo Benitez for his 26th straight win, his 17th by stoppage. Leonard had the looks, he could talk the talk and he could go in the ring and back it up. He threw combinations with lightning speed and he was a complete fighter. He was flashy but substance came with the style, as was also the case with Roger Federer.

The similarities between Leonard and Federer come in that their classy, easy on the eye style made them fan favourites and their approachable, charismatic nature when talking with the press made them media darlings. They had the most aesthetically pleasing style of their contemporaries, their fan friendly eye-catching style meant they transcended their respective sports. You didn’t need to be a big boxing fan to know when Sugar Ray was fighting and you didn’t need to be a big tennis fan to tune in to watch Federer. Such was their mass appeal, they played a big role in growing their chosen sports. 

Every great athlete needs a great rival. Without one, you will perhaps never know how great you can be, without being pushed beyond the boundaries of what you thought yourself capable of. Sugar Ray found that in the shape of Thomas Hearns. And what a shape it was, Hearns was a physical freak. Standing six feet two inches, with long muscular arms and a slender physique which somehow permitted him to weigh in at the Welterweight limit. Hearns’ ‘Hitman’ nickname was more than fair, he wasn’t a Welterweight who hit like a Middleweight, he was a Welterweight who hit like a Cruiserweight. Knocking out 27 of his first 28 opponents, Hearns then dethroned 4-year reigning champion Jose Cuevas in 2 brutal one-sided rounds. Cuevas came in off the back of 12 successful World title defences but Hearns toyed with him like a Lion with a Gazelle. 

Federer’s great rival was of course the Spaniard Rafael Nadal. The rivalry quickly blossomed into one of the most thrilling and competitive the sport had ever seen. Between 2006 and 2008, the pair faced off in 3 successive French Open finals and 3 successive Wimbledon finals. Nadal won all 3 on the clay as he stormed to 4 successive majors there. Nadal destroyed Federer for the loss of only 4 games in the 2008 Roland Garros final, to get his 9th clay court win against Federer in 10 matches. However Federer led Nadal 5-2 on other surfaces heading into the 2008 Wimbledon final. But Rafa was getting closer. After losing in 4 sets in the 2006 Wimbledon final, he got even closer the following year but went down in 5. The 2008 final saw Federer aiming to become the first man to win six successive Wimbledon titles, and Nadal aiming to become the first man since Bjorn Borg to do the French Open/Wimbledon double in the same season. 

The hotly anticipated match somehow exceeded expectations, producing what is widely considered the best remembered tennis match of all time. Nadal going two sets up, Federer dragging it into a deciding final set before the Spaniard finally managed to pry Roger’s fingers off the gold cup to end the domination of the Swiss on grass. It is still to this day rightfully considered one of the most impressive and important victories of Nadal’s spectacular career. 

The Ray Leonard v Thomas Hearns meeting had been an inevitability for years. When they met for the first time in September 1981, Leonard had won 30 of his 31 fights and Hearns had won all 32 of his. Leonard was 25 years old and Hearns was coming up to his 23rd Birthday. Together they had defeated every and any possible contender and threat, all roads led to each other. The fight was perhaps the best back and forth of all time. It was expected to be the classic boxer vs puncher, and it was. Only it was the puncher doing the boxing and the boxer doing the punching. Hearns with his much superior reach edged the early goings with his jab, but when Leonard stopped fearing the Hitman’s power, it was instead the Sugarman throwing the bombs and landing the first significant blow by wobbling the legs of Hearns. 

Hearns continued to box and move, whilst Leonard stalked, a complete reversal of the approaches both men had been expected to take. It was Hearns who was benefitting the most however, as Leonard went in search of one big shot, whilst Hearns continued to pop him with the jab that was winning him the fight. Everything changed when Leonard’s trainer Angelo Dundee got straight to the heart of the matter by telling his fighter “You’re blowing it now son, you’re blowing it. We need fire and you’re not firing. Take it away from him.” And that’s just what Leonard did by twice battering Hearns through the ropes in the 13th, with twenty-five unanswered punches thrown at an absurd speed given it was the Championship rounds of a tough, draining fight. Hearns fought on with nothing but heart, until in the penultimate round the referee called a halt to the contest, with Leonard continuing to pummel the Hitman at will. 

The rematch would take place 8 years later, though Leonard fought just 4 times  in-between largely due to suffering a very serious eye injury. Thomas Hearns was only 30, but was already considered over-the-hill having been knocked out inside 3 rounds against Iran Barkley 2 fights prior, before hobbling to a majority decision against a fairly mediocre opponent. But Hearns had been left to wait 8 long years for his shot at redemption against Leonard, and now it was here. Not even his brother being arrested 48 hours before the fight for the murder of a young woman could break Hearns’ laser-focus on finally beating his bitter rival Ray Leonard. 

Hearns knocked Leonard down for the very first time in the 3rd round of their second contest, and when Leonard came back at him in the 5th with an onslaught of pressure, Hearns stood up to it refusing to go down. The second knockdown of the fight went Hearns’ way, as he put Leonard down again in the 11th. Leonard got up and continued to hunt for the knockout he surely now needed to avoid defeat, but Hearns was not content to coast, desperately looking to finish Sugar Ray inside the distance. In the end, both men heard the final bell and there was little doubt who had won the fight. However, a truly shocking decision from the judges deprived Hearns of a much deserved win and instead ruled the contest a split decision draw. They were the only people in the world who held that view however, with even Leonard admitting afterwards that Hearns should have got the decision. 

Federer and Nadal met many times after the 2008 Wimbledon final, but never again was it so hyped up and anticipated until 9 years later when they met in the 2017 Australian Open final. Going into the final, Federer had won just 1 Grand Slam in the past 6 years, and had not reached a major semi-finals for 3 years. Nadal had not won a slam for 3 years, and it had been 4 years since he’d won one off the clay. Both guys had been suffering with significant injury problems, but against all odds they reached the final for their first Grand Slam final meeting for 6 years. 

Nadal led 9-2 in Grand Slam matches and 6-2 in Grand Slam finals. Nadal had won their last 6 matches in Grand Slams, but it was Federer who got off to the better start taking the first set. Nadal levelled it up before Roger romped the 3rd set 6-1. Again though Rafa came back at him to force a 5th and final set. Up to that point, Federer and Nadal had failed to play well at the same time, in the decider though both guys began to produce some of their best tennis of the match in a setting of incredible intensity and pressure. It was Federer who came out on top to win his first Grand Slam title for 5 years. 

There are similarities to be found between Thomas Hearns and Rafa Nadal in that they are both heavy-hitting powerhouses who would relentlessly pummel their opponents into submission. They are pure fighters with an all-action style which made them appealing to the regular man in the street. However, they both struggled for a time to be recognised for their skill aswell as their strength, but they earned that recognition by showing it in their rivalries with Leonard and Federer respectively. 

These rivalries too had somethings in common, with Leonard always having great difficulty against Hearns’ style. Hearns long-reach & aggressiveness, combined with his hand speed and power always gave Leonard great problems. Nadal’s ability to keep hitting into Federer’s single-handed backhand for many years prevented the Swiss from being able to dominate baseline rallies in the same way he did against everyone else. Nadal won 15 of 19 meetings between 2008 and 2014, this however forced Federer to improve and find new ways of dealing with Nadal which he did by winning 5 of their last 6 meetings.

Marvin Hagler was shaped by a tough upbringing which saw him drop out of school at the age of 14 and take work in a factory to help support his family. Around this time, his home was caught in the crossfire of the 1967 Newark Riots. For 3 days, he and his family could travel around their apartment only by crawling across the floor in order to avoid potential bullets, such as the two that smashed through their bedroom window.  

Novak Djokovic grew up in a war-torn Serbia where he and his family had to wait in line for essentials like bread and water. Night-time trips to a bomb shelter were at one time a regular part of his life. He vividly remembers a time he was awoken by a huge explosion, and in the panic his mother was knocked unconscious by hitting her head. As his family fled the building, Novak recalls turning to see a plane flying above and the ground shaking. Such traumatic events such as the ones suffered by Hagler and Djokovic in their formative years cannot fail to impact you and shape you into the man you become.

Hagler had to wait a long time for his shot. It wasn’t until his 7th year as a pro and his 50th fight that he was finally given a World Title fight. The wait didn’t end there though as Champion Vito Antuofermo was awarded a generous draw by the judges to retain his title. Hagler had to travel to the UK to fight Alan Minter to finally get his hands on the Middleweight Championship, this time not giving the judges a chance to get involved by stopping Minter inside 3 rounds. It had been a long time coming, it was Hagler’s 54th fight and in it he recorded his 50th win. However if he thought that now was the time to bask in his glory and finally get the respect of the boxing world he felt himself long overdue, he was dead wrong as angry Brits rained down beer bottles onto the ring in ugly scenes that required police to safely escort Hagler back to the dressing room. 

Hagler had long been a man with a chip on his shoulder, in fact two giant chips were firmly placed on each shoulder. Such was his frustration that the media would rarely refer to him by his nickname ‘Marvellous’ Marvin Hagler, he legally changed his first name to Marvelous, giving them no choice. He envied the likes of Thomas Hearns and Ray Leonard especially, who had always enjoyed the media coverage and access to mainstream America that he had not. He desperately wanted to get one of them in the ring, so he could finally get the credit he felt he was due. For the time though, he had to busy himself with taking care of lesser known names which he did in devastating fashion, winning his first 5 title defences by stoppage.

By the end of 2010, Federer had won a men’s record 16 Grand Slams, and Nadal had won 9. And the Tennis world would have been perfectly happy to watch these 2 men continue to square off for every available Grand Slam for the foreseeable. Such was the quality of their matches, the brilliance of their tennis, everyone was prepared to watch them go on splitting the titles almost equally. It seemed almost certain that noone else would be capable of reaching the level required to challenge them anytime soon. Novak Djokovic won his maiden slam in 2008, but in the 2 years following reached just one other slam final, in which he was soundly beaten by Nadal, who in doing so became the youngest man to win all 4 majors. 

But in 2011, Djokovic produced one of the greatest individual seasons in tennis history, and suddenly there was three at the party. Between 2011 and 2016, Djokovic reached an extraordinary 16 slam finals, winning 11 of them. In this time, he established himself as one of the greats, on atleast equal footing to Federer and Nadal. But like Hagler, he did not receive the same level of credit when he won as when his more glamorous rivals did. Federer and Nadal had got their first, established huge fanbases around the world and had completely won over a Sports media that revelled in their victories. They were huge superstars. Djokovic found that he could beat Federer on the court, but he could not beat him for popularity. In the 2015 US Open final, he had to beat not just the Swiss but an American crowd who made zero secret of how badly they wanted him to lose, and their man to win. It was perhaps the most hostile crowd he had played in front of and the Serb dealt with it brilliantly, but there was no getting away from his desire to be loved by the crowds in the same way Nadal and Federer were. 

Marvin Hagler met Thomas Hearns on April 15th 1985. In the build-up, it was billed simply as “The Fight”. Given what would transpire in the ring, it would henceforth be known as “The War”. Hagler, a notoriously slow starter took it to Hearns at once, deciding to trade blow for blow with one of the hardest hitting middleweights in history. If it was a bold play, Hearns was equally cavalier, as he neglected to use his reach and size advantage and instead stood in the pocket to trade with Hagler. The outcome was a first round in which Hagler threw 82 punches and landed 50, every punch thrown a power punch, not a single jab. Hearns landed 56 punches including 45 power punches. It will surely always be regarded as the greatest opening round in boxing history.

Hagler was already cut and the fight continued in the same vein for “8 Minutes of Fury” until Marvellous smashed Hearns to the canvas with a vicious right hand followed by two uppercuts to his falling foe. Hearns got up but was in no state to continue and Hagler finally had the recognition he’d dreamed of. Hagler would later say: “I have to say that was my favourite fight, I took the best Tommy Hearns could throw at me. I was so worked up, I felt like a monster. I wanted him to get up so badly so I could knock him down again. The way I felt I would have beaten an army that night. Whenever I watch that fight I still get chills.” Hearns said: “He came in, took my best shot, and fought his ass off. It happens to the best of us. It hurts. But the man showed his greatness tonight.” 

Hagler threw 173 punches in 8 minutes, landing 96. Hearns landed 94 of 166, and his contribution to one of sport’s most memorable ever spectacles will never be forgotten. Referee Richard Steele said of the contest: “I was shocked at the pace they set and the ferocity of the fight. I always made sure I stayed in shape as a referee, I did my running. But that fight, after the first round, I felt tired. After the second round, I was exhausted. I remember thinking to myself going into the third round, how these two guys could not keep up this pace. I was spent. It was just toe-to-toe action for every minute of each round.”

If two perfectly conditioned athletes in Hagler and Hearns had exhausted physics by landing 190 punches in 8 brutal minutes, Djokovic and Nadal would take tennis to new levels of physicality, not least in their extraordinary battle in the 2012 Australian Open final. Just to reach the final had taken strenuous effort on Djokovic’s part as he edged out Andy Murray in a 4 hour 50 minutes semi-final. 2 days later he was back in action to take on Rafa Nadal. It took 40 minutes to complete the first 6 games and 80 minutes for Nadal to close out the opening set 7-5. Almost 2 and a half hours of play took place before Novak could level the match up at one-apiece. Djokovic took the lead by taking the 3rd set 6-2 but Nadal refused to go away, winning the 4th set via a tiebreak in a set that lasted just shy of 90 minutes. 

In the deciding set, Nadal broke first to take a 4-2 lead but Djokovic broke back instantly and then levelled the match. At 4-4 the opening point of Nadal’s service game saw an incredible 31-shot rally, with both players having to sprint from one end of the court to the other and back again until Djokovic hit long and collapsed to the floor breathing heavily. In the end though it was the Serb who somehow outlasted the Spaniard to take the final set 7-5 and win in 5 hours, 53 minutes. The match is considered to be perhaps the most high quality match ever and without doubt the most physically and mentally gruelling.  It remains the only Grand Slam final Nadal has ever lost after winning the first set.

After the contest Djokovic said: “It was obvious on the court for everybody who has watched the match that both of us, physically, we took the last drop of energy that we had from our bodies, we made history tonight and unfortunately there couldn't be two winners." Nadal commented: "I really understand that was a really special match, and probably a match that's going to be in my mind not because I lost, no, because the way that we played.” Both players could barely stand during the trophy ceremony, with both physically, mentally and emotionally spent. But by giving every ounce of their being to win, they took tennis to new heights. 

Marvin Hagler had 12 successful title defences, he was unbeaten for 11 years but he still had one box left to tick. He desperately wanted to prove to Leonard and the world, that he was the better of the two fighters and the best on the planet. Hagler assumed that chance would never come, Leonard once teased a fight with him only to then announce his retirement.  But now it was on, Leonard had come out of retirement once more to fight for Hagler’s world Middleweight crown. The Sugarman had fought just once in the last 5 years, whereas the active Hagler had stopped all but one of his last 12 opponents. Fight fans feared that Leonard already with a fragile right eye was making a grave mistake. Leonard had one big demand, a 12-round fight rather than 15. Hagler didn’t give it a second thought, in his mind the fight would not go near the distance anyway. 

The fight and the decision that followed it remains to this day the most contested in Boxing history. Sugar Ray flurried with fast combinations at the end of the rounds to huge roars of approval from excited fans who could hardly believe what they were witnessing. Leonard was the star and he was the story, and he controlled the narrative of the fight which undoubtedly impacted on some scorecards such as judge Jose Juan Guerra who gave the fight to Leonard by a margin of 118-110. 

Leonard fought like a man who was winning, he looked like a man enjoying himself, playing to his adoring audience. Hagler fought like a man behind on the cards, brows furrowed, menacingly stalking his prey. Hagler looked that way of course not because he believed he was losing, but because he wanted to hurt Leonard and knock him out. But it all played into the optics of the fight, and a fight this close, this difficult to score, was always going to come down to such things. Leonard understood this perfectly and played the part of a winner brilliantly, Hagler did not. The fight seems to get closer with every watch, and the outcome will be debated for an eternity, but it was Sugar Ray Leonard whose hand was raised at the end of the fight to the disgust of Hagler, who never fought again and who could never let go of his bitter feelings towards Leonard, whom he felt had robbed him of the thing he held most dearly, the Middleweight crown.

In tennis, points are not awarded based on individual interpretation. Narratives or fan sentiment do not come into deciding the outcome of a match. If they did Roger Federer would have beaten Novak Djokovic in the 2019 Wimbledon Final. The Swiss was approaching his 38th Birthday and had not beaten Djokovic in a slam final since their first meeting in 2007. The 32-year old Serb had won both their Wimbledon final meetings in 2014 and 2015 and aswell had won 8 of their last 10 meetings, any betting man would have given him a clear edge going in. 

But Federer rolled back the years, producing a near-perfect performance. Despite this he lost the opening set on a tiebreak. If this was a blow for Federer he didn’t show it as he destroyed Novak in the second taking it 6-1. Djokovic weathered the storm and hung in as he so often does, taking Federer into a tiebreak for the 3rd set and again winning it. Roger outplayed Djokovic once more in the 4th to take the match to a 5th set decider. After breaking Novak to lead 8-7, Federer brought up match point but couldn’t convert and was instead broken back. 

At 12 games each, the third tiebreak of the match took place and for a third time it was won by Novak Djokovic. In a match where Federer had hit more aces, fewer double faults, had a higher win % on both his 1st and 2nd serve, won more points at the net, won more break points, won 14 more points in total and 4 more games in total, he had lost. The only area in which Djokovic had bettered Federer was in the unforced error count, with the Swiss hitting 10 more. This was key in the tiebreaks where Djokovic played at a perfect level, saving his very best for the biggest points. In boxing terms it was a classic rope-a-dope, Djokovic was down on points, but he was saving himself for a big late flurry and with a knockout blow he snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. Lasting 4 hours and 57 minutes, it is the longest Wimbledon final in history. 

Hagler and Djokovic share similarities in that they are winners, pure and simple. They did not always enjoy the same level of credit and appreciation as their rivals and were not always received as warmly by the masses. But they continued to grind out win after win regardless with minimum fuss. Hagler had one of the best chins in boxing history, and is considered one of its most durable fighters. Djokovic too is an expert in soaking up pressure and punishment but never wilting to it. They’ve had to earn more respect inch by inch over time, but as more time passes their position amongst the all-time greats is undoubtedly secured. 

There are similarities in their rivalries too, Hagler and Hearns being one of the most eye-wateringly brutal wars of attrition the sport has seen. The back and forth battles of Nadal and Djokovic have been similarly gruelling and grimacingly physical.  And Hagler struggled for fans love and media acceptance against Leonard in a similar way to Djokovic has had to against Federer, and this no doubt fuelled their rivalry somewhat at certain points.

Roberto Duran was Panama’s favourite and most famous son. The Central American country situated between Colombia and Costa Rica contained around 2 million people when Duran was in his prime, and most of their lives would come to a standstill in order to follow the fights of their hero Mano de Piedra (Hands of Stone) as he brought pride and honour to the tiny nation by delivering knockout win after knockout win. 

Andy Murray represented a significantly bigger nation in the United Kingdom, a country that was one of the first proponents of tennis alongside the USA and Australia, but unlike those nations had not enjoyed any success in Men’s tennis since the Second World War. Only one man representing Britain had reached a Grand Slam final since 1938, and he was born in Canada, only switching his allegiance to Britain aged 24 due to moving to Britain to live with his British wife. No British man had won a Grand Slam title since Fred Perry in 1936. When a prestigious young talent named Andy Murray came onto the scene, hope and expectation exploded that he could be the one to end the embarrassing wait for a country that hosted the biggest tennis tournament in the world, yet never won it. 

Despite holding the hopes of a nation on his shoulders, Murray was not the recipient of unconditional appreciation and support from the tabloid media nor the British public that read it. Born in Glasgow, Scotland Murray was reported on by UK journalists usually residing in London. Many of whom looked to twist a joke he made about supporting “anyone who plays England” at the 2006 World Cup, a comment he made in response to a jibe made by Tim Henman about Scotland’s failure to qualify, into a chance to hammer the still-teenage Murray. The smiling, well-spoken Henman from Oxford was the image of how the British press expected a tennis player representing Britain to be. They had trouble accepting the ‘dour’ scot, with his often unkempt hair, less polished answers and a demeanour on court that did little to hide his raw emotions, which were often that of anger and frustration.  

With Duran fighting for literally an entire nation that relied on him to bring joy to their tough lives in his native Panama, and Murray competing for a nation desperate and impatient for success, with a media unlike anyone else’s in their demand for success, and their brutal condemnation of anyone unable to deliver it for them, Duran and Murray faced a level of external pressure on another level to that of their rivals. 

When Duran rematched Sugar Ray Leonard in what will forever be known as the “No Más” fight, he would discover just how much he was relied upon by his people. When he lost the WBC Welterweight title to Leonard, the Panamanian people did not take solace in the fact it was only the second career defeat their man had suffered in 74 bouts, nor did they care that Sugar Ray Leonard was one of the top handful of fighters on the planet. And that is because of the manner in which Duran lost, by appearing to quit in the 8th round of the fight. Panamanians could not comprehend their lionhearted warrior quitting mid-fight and during the round to boot. Whatever the reasons for Duran’s decision and there appeared to be multiple (cramps, injury, frustration at his lack of success against Leonard’s tactics), it’s likely that had he been aware of the backlash to follow in his homeland, he wouldn’t have made that same decision again. 

5 months earlier Duran had returned to Panama after beating Leonard the triumphant all-conquering hero, welcomed by thousands of fans who wanted to revel in their idol’s glory. Now, Duran’s home in Panama was graffitied and for days he was unable to leave his house. When he did he brought with him his pet lion on a leash, such was his need for protection against his fellow countrymen.

Andy Murray may not have walked his border terrier Maggie-May on a leash for the same reasons of safety, but when walking the streets near his London home he too faced the shouts and jeers of his compatriots. He had become just the second man to lose in 4 successive Grand Slam finals and despite winning many other trophies, he was labelled a loser and a nearly-man. The man in the street and the media did not believe in him. He had lost 3 of the 4 finals against Roger Federer, including the most painful of the lot, the Wimbledon final. Playing on a court in close proximity to his house, Murray had taken the opening set but Federer had snatched the title away from him and left the Scot with that familiar painful feeling. This time Murray bared his soul to the watching audience, talking to the public in a way he never had before. It brought him closer together with fans who were seeing a side to him they hadn’t seen before. Murray’s willingness to be vulnerable and open up in this moment seemed to help his tennis as though a weight had been removed from his chest. 

Duran’s pride which had been heavily dented in the  "No Más” farce only fully recovered 3 years later with a fight against Marvin Hagler. Duran had been in poor form ever since the Leonard fight and appeared to now be washed-up. Hagler was considered perhaps the most dangerous man in boxing at the time, and the fight was thought to be a mis-match, perhaps just one final payday for Duran. Instead Hands of Stone showed the fighting spirit that had once made him the Pride of Panama, and after 13 rounds he was up on the scorecards. That Hagler took the last 2 rounds to retain his title scarcely seemed to matter. Duran had his redemption and won back the respect and support of his nation. 

Just 2 months on from his Wimbledon heartache, Murray was back in a Grand Slam final knowing a defeat would make him the first player to lose his first 5 major finals. In his way stood the formidable presence of Novak Djokovic. It took 87 minutes for Murray to just take the opening set, which featured a 54-shot rally. Murray went 2-0 up in a slam final for the first time, and was just one set away from his first major. However, it hadn’t been easy to win one up to now, and it wasn’t going to start now. In what felt like no time, Murray went from 2 sets to the good, to level at 2-2. Suddenly the momentum was with Djokovic, and Murray looked in danger of capitulating. If he couldn’t win from 2 sets up, surely he’d never win one. 

Murray left the court to take a bathroom break, in which he looked into his eyes in the mirror and told himself out loud “I’m not going to lose this.” Murray flew into a 3-0 lead, which gradually became 5-2 with the Brit serving for the match. He held his nerve and ended Britain’s 76-year wait for a men’s champion. It had taken 4 hours and 54 minutes and by defeating a Champion of the calibre of Novak Djokovic and in the fashion he did by taking the final set after squandering a 2 set lead, Murray had silenced all his doubters once and for all. After the match Djokovic said: “He deserved to win this grand slam more than anybody because over the years he has been a top player, he has been so close, lost four finals. Now he has won it so I would like to congratulate him. Definitely happy that he won it. Us four, we are taking this game to another level. It's really nice to be part of such a strong men's tennis era." It is to date the only 5-set final Djokovic has ever lost, the Serb winning the other 5 he has played. At the very next Wimbledon Murray also ended Britain’s 77-year wait for a men’s champion there, again beating Novak Djokovic this time in straight sets. It is the only Wimbledon final Djokovic has lost, his sole defeat in 8 finals.

Duran and Murray shared similarities in that they were often the underdog of the quartet and had to come back most often from being down and out. They had to endure more losses than the others, but because of their huge hearts, fighting spirit and pure grit, aswell as superior talent to 99% of their opponents, they enjoyed glory of their own. Both men were also unapologetically themselves, never bending to what others expected them to be and in the end they were accepted and celebrated for the way they are. 

There were also similarities in their rivalries in that Duran enjoyed his main “4 Kings” success against Leonard, who he beat in the “Brawl in Montreal” their first fight, one of the most exciting action-packed Boxing fights ever held. Murray had his best “Big 4″ success against Roger Federer, winning 11 of their first 20 meetings, including a straight sets win to take Olympic Gold in the 2012 final. However Leonard and Federer faired better against Duran and Murray respectively as time went on, Leonard winning their last 2 encounters to edge the trilogy and Federer winning his last 5 encounters with Murray to take the overall head to head 14-11. 

Duran achieved redemption against Hagler, in the same way Murray did against Djokovic. Duran’s worst match-up in the “4 Kings” was with Thomas Hearns who obliterated him in 3 rounds. The most one-sided “Big 4″ match up was Murray against Nadal, who he trailed 17-7.  

Due to their love of their respective sports, Duran and Murray went on competing when most athletes would have called it a day. Duran fought until he was 50 years old, losing 7 of his last 18 fights but such was competitive drive he found it difficult to walk away. 

A hip injury for Murray kept him sidelined for 3 years and in the end had to be removed and replaced with a metal hip. No singles tennis player before has gone through such a procedure and returned to the game but Murray’s drive brought him back. Though no longer the player that made it to number 1 in the world, and now having to endure more regular defeats against players he would once have defeated comfortably, Murray’s love of his sport and desire to keep proving people wrong has kept him fighting in the top 50 of the world rankings. 

The lead-up to the Brawl in Montreal between Duran and Leonard in 1980 saw psychological warfare taken to a level rarely seen even in Boxing. As Bob Arum remembers: “They were in two different hotels in Montreal and Duran had a spy who watched Juanita (Leonard’s wife) each time she left the hotel. Duran would get a call to hurry to a car that was waiting. He would have the car drive up next to Juanita and say things like, ‘I fuck you after I beat your husband.” Duran got Leonard so mad, the master-boxer turned into a slugger for 15 rounds, desperate to hurt Duran for the disrespect he showed. It was Leonard who left more hurt on this occasion, his ego bruised after having to taste defeat for the first time in his career. However 5 months later, Leonard inflicted the most humiliation Duran had ever had to endure, taunting and toying with him in the middle of the Superdome, New Orleans until “Hands of Stone” reportedly said “ No Más.” The extraordinary thing about Boxing and sport in general, is that both men moved on from this to share not just a mutual respect, but an actual liking of each other. 

During a battle with Covid-19 which hospitalised Duran in 2020, Leonard summed up much of his feelings towards Duran in a video message he recorded for him saying: “I love you so much, I respect you so much and your family, I want to send you my well-wishers, my prayers, my friendship and my love for you. You’ll pull through champ, you’re the best.” 

The Big 4 have had to share the spotlight with each other for so long. Federer solely dominated the sport until he had to share the spoils with Nadal. Nadal’s ownership of Roland Garros would surely have seen him reach an uncatchable number of Slams if not for the all-surface excellence of Novak Djokovic. Andy Murray would have a number of slams more fitting of his supreme ability if not for sharing an era with the 3 greatest players ever, facing Federer or Djokovic in 10 of his 11 finals. Yet despite this, and despite suffering the most painful losses of their respective careers against each other, The Big 4 of Men’s tennis also share relationships that go beyond respect and into friendship. Certainly now that the first member of the quartet has announced his retirement. At the recent Laver Cup that friendship was plain to see as the 4 men bonded together on and off the court. There was extraordinary scenes on the night of Federer’s final ever match, as his long-time rival Nadal was just as emotional, the two men crying alongside each other in a touching moment that will not be forgotten by anyone who witnessed it. 

The friendships that have materialised not despite of, but because of their extraordinary rivalries shows the uniqueness of sport and why it holds such a special place in all of our lives.  

[roseymess]

Hi and good day to you 😊 I'm here for the exchanges and my question is about my next /first relationship (cuz I've never been official with someone yet)I'm wondering what's it gonna be like, with who and if it will last lmao. Okay so, for you, specifically about your next relationship I feel as it will be your safe space, your home. This person perhaps is a past life connection, lots of familiar vibes even tho i believe you don't know them yet. Their rational, grounded and open minded person but I think they sometimes get a bit lost in their mind and have some bad thoughts that kinda leads to the challenges of the relationship, with some communication issues that can be dealt with Otherwise the relationship will be truly beautiful, filled with love and support, this person will be here for you and you'll confide with them emotionally. You will feel secure and understood, you both will enjoy spending time with each other and just vibe /chill at home. I don't think this is a soulmate but it's definitely not a short term thing 😊hope this resonates

~Steffie ❣️

Hello!! Thank you soo much for your patience and thank you for my reading💜💜🙏🙏

For your next/first relationship

I see this maybe someone whom you meet online,like insta or some social media platform. The person might text you /message you first by agreeing to something about you,maybe a comment you wrote publicly. They seem like a cheerful person. Yk a bit of an air head but very dreamy and cheerful. I'm not gonna say golden retriever vibes but yeah, definitely someone who makes you feel comfortable. This relationship would be very sweet. It can be that you both have a young mindset,like dreamy mindset and at times might end up in trouble for doing something dangerous in the name of being adventurous. I don't think this will be a life time relationship but you and this person would still remain good friends later in life. You both would have a very warm influence on each other. I think later in life,this person may ask you for your advice towards their love life. Very sweet relationship. I see two people lying in the warm sun,with the wind blowing,a sunny day,hot yet calming. This person would make you push yourself out of your comfort,teach you many life changing stuff. Again,mindset connection,very warm and beautiful.

Hope your reading resonated. Take care💜🙏

[monarchisms]

[clandestineloki]

Loki x streamer!reader, they look through ships on stream, then they see thorki, how would they react :))?

OH G O D

um how do i start this

the two of you'd be doing this kind of thirst tweet reacts video like:

"marry me loki" and loki'd look straight in the camera and go "how much money do you have?" KAJSKASJKAJJSA LIKE THAT STEFFI GRAF VIDEO

"i'd let [your handle name] throw me around like lady dimitrescu threw that vanity" you'd go "sorry i'm a taken woman, only for my 9'6" love of my life"

loki's like "i'm not 9'6"- wait. what. was. that."

you hastily scroll away from the inevitable thorki tweets. "wh-what was what?"

loki's eyebrows furrow. "scroll back up."

"uhhhhhhhhhh........ ooooookaayyyyyyyy"

and when he sees the stuff

he goes through the five stages of grief but like, denial bargaining anger depression and back again AKSJAKSJAKJSAK

"what the hell."

"i'm sorry, this must be really awkward-"

"no, yes, this is really awkward but i already knew the extent of how maniacal some of you can be."

*cue loki staring into the camera for 15 whole seconds with the caption saying "he's getting you to rethink your life choices do it you mortal"*

needless to say you sneak a little "sweet home alabama" joke there somewhere