#steve and bug are really going through it this chapter

[stevie-petey]

episode five: the flayed

Slowly Steve aims away, the sound trickling against another wall now, and you share a disgusted look with Robin. With a sigh, she squeezes your hand. “If we make it out of here alive, I promise I’ll throw you the best birthday party ever.” “I don’t know, I think Steve peeing five feet away from me will be pretty hard to beat.”

Summary: you have the worst birthday of your life, you almost strangle steve with your bare hands and then later get snot all over him, erica is your savior, dustin is doing his best, robin starts to suspect things, and the russians have opened a gate to the upside down. its all pretty miserable tbh. but hey ! at least steve won a fight !

Rating: general, some swearing

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, violence, cursing

Words: 7.2k

Before you swing in: hi loves !! chapter five we get some more insight into bug and her very anxious mind. shes just a stressed out gal. bless her. anyways, bug aside im so so so excited to get to chapter 6. i have so many plans for her <3 but !!! for now pls enjoy chapter 5 and more chaotic steve n bug ;)

-

Everyone is screaming as you all fall. 

You lost your stomach about a hundred feet ago. 

Steve clings onto you, his chest sturdy behind you as your arms tighten around the kids. Their screams are deafening; you know that you’re screaming too, but the pounding in your head rings in your ears and drowns out their fear.

“We’re going down!” Steve screeches, arms now even tighter around you as he braces his back against the wall.

“No shit Harrington!” Robin is on the opposite wall.

Your nails dig into Steve’s arms, both from panic and from anger. “I fucking told you!”

As you scream at the teen, Erica and Dustin pry apart from you and run over to the vault’s buttons. They begin to argue, the rush of the room’s falling almost makes it hard to hear what they’re saying, but you know they’re freaking out just like everyone else. 

“Push the button!” You hear Erica yell at your brother, and he turns to her with pure melodrama to screech back at her, “What do you think I’m doing?”

Steve pulls you further into his chest as he screams at the kids. “Press something! Just press the button!” 

It’s a mess, the room fills with more screaming as everyone argues and pushes against one another in futile attempts to prevent the vault from plummeting even further. Your nails dig further into Steve’s arms and you close your eyes, too numb with fear to do anything else. 

Then, suddenly, everything stops. 

The room comes to a halt, you’re no longer plummeting to imminent death, and everyone crashes against the wall or ground while a giant box lands on you and Steve. 

He takes the brunt of the damage, the box having fallen from behind him, but the impact is enough to send you crashing to the ground with your elbow catching against the side of the shelf the box had come from. Groaning, your knee shoves into Steve’s body, causing him to wheeze in pain. “My groin, you’re on my groin.”

You ignore him and get up, not offering your hand to him, and make sure Dustin and everyone else is okay. Seeing your stoic manner, Steve groans. “A little help here, anyone?”

Again you ignore him and make your way further into the room and stand there, slowly coming to the realization of what’s happened. Your limbs feel heavy, your head is pounding, and you’re locked in an apparent elevator made by Russians after falling hundreds of feet below Starcourt. 

“Is everyone okay?” Robin hesitantly asks after Dustin has helped Steve up from the ground. 

“Fine,” you rasp out, body still in shock. 

Steve’s body is in its own state of shock as he starts to freak out yet again. “Yeah, I’m great, now that I know that Russians can’t design elevators!”

He shoves past Dustin and starts to jab at the buttons once more, but it’s no use. Robin tries to stop him, but Steve continues to press the buttons repeatedly anyways. He’s frantic, his eyes wide an wild with fear, and you stand in the corner as watch as he starts to realize himself just how fucked the five of you are in the current situation. 

After days of ignoring the possible danger, it’s now glaring in his face, and Steve becomes even more frantic when he notices that you’re still standing behind everyone, silent. 

He’s fucked up. 

“It’s an electronic lock.” Robin starts to explain, and you listen silently. “Same as the loading dock door. If we don’t have a keycard, it won’t operate, meaning–”

“We’re stuck in here.” Dustin announces, already having figured it out himself. 

The pounding in your head intensifies at your brother’s words as fear claws its way into your throat. You’ve spent the last two days pleading with everyone to listen to you, to be cautious and not go in over your heads about the Russians, and yet here you are: locked in a fucking elevator with Steve looking at you with utter guilt. 

You had been right the entire time. 

And yet no one bothered to believe you. 

As Erica announces to the group that if she isn’t back by uncle Jack’s party tomorrow then her mom will ransack the town to find her and Steve yells at her about how he doesn’t care about the party if you all end up dead in the Russian elevator, a defeated and deranged laugh begins to swell from your chest before it forms into complete hysterics. 

The laughs fall from your mouth in a frantic manner, and everyone slowly turns to look at you. Erica doesn’t understand what’s going on, though Steve, Dustin, and Robin share horrified looks; they all know that you’ve officially crossed the line that separates anger from insanity.

“Dead in a Russian elevator, huh?” You manage to bitterly spit out in between bouts of laughter. There are tears in your eyes, though no one is sure if they’re from laughing or anger or despair. “God, Harrington, you really fucked up.”

You’re practically wheezing now from laughing so hard, hunched over as the action takes over your entire body. You had been right, and yet you’re now stuck in an elevator with Lucas’ little sister and your own brother, responsible for their lives even though you’ve never asked to be. Ever. 

Steve tugs at his hair, just as overwhelmed as you are. He’s terrified of what he’s dragged you into, and he’s even more terrified that he was the asshole who refused to listen to you. Defensive, he throws his hands up in the air in defeat. “Why would you even listen to me? I mean, I’ve never been right a day in my life!”

“Oh, so this is all my fault?” Your body manages to move towards him, now standing toe to toe as you sneer in his face.

The laughter is now gone. 

“You’re the one who let me continue this stupid Russian adventure–”

“I begged you to listen to me, but you refused to!”

Steve lets out his own deranged laugh. “How was I supposed to know we’d end up in a goddamn elevator of death?”

“God, how hard is it for you to admit that I was right?” Your fists shake as they clench against your side, your voice is raw from screaming. “Would it fucking kill you to admit that maybe I’m not just some pathetic people pleaser and that I actually know what I’m talking about–”

“Guys!” Dustin shoves the two of you apart, afraid that you’ll tear Steve’s eyes out any second. He points up, gathering everyone’s attention again, and reveals an opening in the elevator’s ceiling. “What if we climbed out?”

Hope sparks in your chest when you see the opening and you’re the first to shove past Steve and the others and start climbing up the boxes to get to it. Dustin follows, then Steve, and when the three of you climb up and out of the elevator, the small spark of hope in your chest quickly vanishes when you look up and see the hundreds of feet the elevator has fallen. 

“What were you saying about climbing?” Steve’s voice echoes off of the walls surrounding the elevator. They’re smooth, pure metal and infrastructure, and you swallow down tears. 

There’s no way any of you can possibly climb up them. You’re stuck. 

Admittedly, Dustin handles this realization a lot better than you do. He immediately starts to come up with another plan, he has his radio, he can call for help, and as he comes up with new ways to reignite the hope with Steve, you wordlessly descend back down into the elevator. You don’t spare the two boys another glance as you leave, too emotionally exhausted and still shaking from the waves of guilt and anxiety that plague you. 

After you’ve silently left, Dustin turns to Steve. He feels just as awful as the teen, they both failed to listen to you, and now they’re left with your stoic anger that leaves them both feeling raw. “We fucked up, man.”

“She needs us right now,” Steve claps his hand against the boy’s back, his words strong but voice frail. “Let’s go.”

They climb back down into the elevator as well and find you, Robin, and Erica all sitting against the walls, silent. You must’ve already told the girls what the three of you found above. There’s nothing you guys can do now besides wait for whatever comes next, even Dustin can recognize that.

Your knees are drawn into your chest, your chin rests against them as you sit alone at one wall, and Steve doesn’t think he’s ever seen you so small before. Sighing, he looks at Dustin, who gives him a nod to wish him luck, before he makes his way over to you and sits down. You don’t react to Steve’s presence besides allowing your head to fall against his shoulder, and it’s enough to calm the relentless remorse he feels within him. 

No one speaks for a while.

The hours pass, the room silent as you all realize what the fuck you’ve gotten yourselves into. 

– 

You’re not sure how much time passes by, the walls within the elevator block out all possible sunlight, but eventually you figure it’s well into the night. After the initial shock had worn off, Dustin, Robin, and Erica had sat closer together and tried distracting themselves with sleep while you sat against the wall with Steve; your head never leaves his shoulder, and neither of you talk.

However, by what you figure is hour five, you desperately need air. You can’t sleep, the walls have started to close in around you once more, so you stand up, side step your sleeping brother, and climb up to the top of the elevator once more. 

Steve follows you; he always follows. 

He finds you sitting at the edge of the elevator, feet dangling over the ledge with your shoulders drawn in. Slowly he approaches you and sits down next to you, shoulder to shoulder, thigh pressed against thigh. You don’t say anything, and Steve again feels horrible for not listening to you earlier; he knows that for once it has to be him that is strong enough for the two of you.

“Talk to me,” Steve breathes out, pleading. It’s just you and him now, one one else, away from prying eyes. You’re safe with him, you will always be safe with him, but he needs to hear your voice and bring color back to your cheeks. “Please.”

Hearing the desperation in his voice, knowing that Steve has never once meant you any harm, that he’s just as scared and alone as you are, you finally break.

You throw yourself into Steve’s arms and sob. The tears come all at once, there is no build up. The moment you are in his embrace, the moment your ear presses against his chest and you hear his heartbeat, the tears come.

“I hate that I always end up here,” you cry into his chest, all that you’ve swallowed down now comes spiraling out of you. “I’m just–I’m so fucking frustrated. I–I keep doing this to Dustin, he’s always in danger because of me.”

Your voice hitches as your breath stutters. There’s more that you want to say, the guilt that has haunted you since Will biked home that fateful night swells within you, but your tears prevent you from voicing any of it. “I–I’m supposed to keep everyone safe but–God, it’s hard when no one listens to me. No one ever listens to me.”

You were supposed to listen to me.

Though you don’t say it, Steve hears it anyway. 

He’s silent through it all, frightened and aching, knowing you keep so much within you. Steve has never seen you cry before, he’s never seen you break like this, and he despises himself for being the reason why. 

Another miserable sob escapes you and all Steve can do is pull you in closer, furious at the world for the fact that he cannot fit you into his chest where he can keep you safe behind his ribcage, next to his heart.

You cling onto Steve and allow the last few years you’ve carried on your shoulders to finally crush you. “I just feel so useless–how can I…” you sniffle, try to steady your breathing as the words on your tongue terrify you. “How–how can I love if I can’t–I have to protect everyone.”

Your voice breaks once more and Steve allows you to take all the time you need. He continues to hold you through it, he presses soft kisses to your face, lips wet from your tears, he plays with your hair, he does whatever he can to engrave his apology into your body.

“I’m so stupid,” you pull away now, the tears slowing and embarrassment creeping through. You’re overwhelmed with your debilitating need to protect the ones you love, as if you cannot love someone if you cannot save them, and you know it’s stupid and immature to believe such things. As the exhaustion sinks into your body, you realize with a start what day has creeped upon you while in the elevator.

It’s July third. 

With Steve looking down at you with a sinful guilt in his eyes, you wipe your own eyes and laugh pathetically at your realization. “This entire situation is stupid. It’s my seventeenth birthday and I’m stuck in a fucking death elevator.”

Steve’s arms tighten around you and he draws in a quick breath at your words. It’s your birthday. He had thought he couldn’t feel worse about what he dragged you into, but he had been wrong. You should be in your room right now, tucked away from danger, celebrating the first moments of your birthday with Steve crawling through your window with the gift he worked so hard to convince the party to help with. 

Instead, you’re crying in Steve’s arms with imminent death looming over you because of him, and he thinks he’s never felt tears as heavy as yours. 

“I’m sorry,” he gently lifts your chin with the same finger that has caressed your face a million times. The soft gesture makes you weak, and when your eyes meet Steve’s, he brings his lips down upon your forehead. He lingers, his lips are rough but familiar, and there’s more he wants to say. The words build within him, all the apologies, but he knows they’d fall on deaf ears. You’re exhausted, you’ve revealed more to him tonight than you ever have before, and he knows the vulnerability stabs at you viciously,

Instead, Steve kisses your cheek next, then your other cheek, then the tip of your nose, your chin, your eyebrows, anywhere his lips can reach, and the action causes a small giggle to blossom within you. Hearing the sound he loves so much, Steve smiles. “Happy birthday, angel.”

Your hand comes up to his face, and though a part of you warms at what Steve has said, another part of you aches. Jonathan has always been the first person to wish you a happy birthday, a tradition from when you were kids and snuck into each other’s windows the second the clock struck midnight. Now Jonathan is gone and Nancy is angry and you’re tired of it all. With a bittersweet smile, you cup Steve’s cheek in the palm of your hand. “Thank you, honey.”

The world stills between the two of you for a brief moment, his face in your hand and your heart in his arms. It’s reminiscent of earlier in the breakroom, the uncertainty that drapes over you and Steve while the certainty secures you both to each other. 

It isn’t perfect, Steve’s uncertainty has hurt you, but he holds you with a certainty that makes you believe that somehow the two of you will make it out of this alive, together. He nuzzles his face into your palm as if he physically needs to be closer to you, and it settles something that stirs in your chest.

Exhaling, you rest your head in the crook of Steve’s neck and curl into him. He pulls you in closer, as he’s always done, and eventually you fall asleep, exhausted from everything.

Steve isn’t sure how long you sleep in his arms, his muscles ache from holding you, but he accepts the burn as punishment for the hurt he’s caused you. He sits there, staring at the metal walls, and falls asleep himself.

– 

You wake up to Dustin trying to contact someone on his radio. His annoyingly loud voice causes you to groan in annoyance, you’re warm, comfortable, and had been dreaming about something that left your chest feeling light. 

“Code red, I repeat, code red. Does anyone copy?”

Rolling over, a pair of arms hold you near a sturdy body, and you remember now that you fell asleep in Steve’s arms. Burying your face deeper into his chest, you groan again. “Make him shut up.”

“Good morning to you too, Y/N.” Dustin kicks your sneaker before going back to his radio. “This is a code red, I repeat, a code red. Does anyone copy?”

Steve sighs, sounding just as tired as you feel. “The kid has been at this for the last hour or so. Woke me up, too.”

You hear Dustin’s footsteps as he paces. “We are innocent children and we are trapped under Starcourt Mall. The Red Army has infiltrated Hawkins.”

“‘The Red Army’ is dramatic.” You mumble, still mourning that you’ve been woken up.

Dustin ignores you. “If we are found, they will torture and kill us.”

“How peachy.”

Steve snaps his fingers at your brother, motioning for him to shut up. “Hey, you gotta take it easy on that thing. Gonna drain the battery.”

“That’s what we’re worried about right now?”

“Go back to sleep, Y/N.” Dustin kicks your sneaker again with a scoff. “The mall just opened, so someone could be in range.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “What, you think Petey the Mall Cop is gonna rappel down here and save the day?”

You give a thumbs up to what the teen has just said. “‘Rappel’, good word choice there.”

“Alright, why are you two such cranky pants after getting to spend the night together?” Dustin asks, off put by your snarkiness. He knows you’ve never really been a morning person, but your face is still buried in Steve’s chest and you haven’t looked at Dustin since waking up. 

“Shut up, Dustin.” You and Steve say at the same time, both too drained to entertain his usual teasing.

Your brother sighs and changes the subject. “I heard you guys talking all night, did you at least figure out a way out of here?” 

You shift in Steve’s arms, now uncomfortable. Neither of you had talked about what to do next, for once you had been selfish and put yourself first, allowing yourself to cry. Sensing the brewing guilt, Steve covers for you both. “No, we’re still exactly nowhere, which is, ya know, probably just a little bit of the reason why we’re feeling just a tad cranky.”

“What he said,” you hide a smile in Steve’s chest, but he feels it anyways.

Then, because he’s Steve and is physically incapable of allowing you a moment of peace, he taps your shoulder. “Hey, uh. Not to ruin this, but can you get up so I can pee?” 

“Here?” You and Dustin exclaim in unison, both of you equally disgusted. 

“Well where else am I supposed to go?”

“Ugh,” you wrinkle your nose and get up, hating that Steve has a point. However, rather than stay and watch the guy pee, you decide to leave and check up on Erica and Robin. You’ve been up here long enough, anyways. “Keep your body fluids away from me.”

As you climb down, you hear Steve screaming at Dustin to turn away as your brother wishes you a happy birthday. 

They’re such idiots sometimes. 

“Did I just hear Dustin screech about someone’s birthday?” Robin asks you as you jump down the last box and join her side. She’s in front of the elevator’s panel, inspecting the buttons.

You wince, not liking the reminder of what today is. “It’s… my birthday.”

Robin gasps and grabs at your hand. “Is it actually? Oh my God–” She’s cut off by the sound of liquid splattering against a wall, and with horror the two of you realize that it’s Steve’s piss. Making a face, the girl calls out, “Can you redirect your stream, please?”

Slowly Steve aims away, the sound trickling against another wall now, and you share a disgusted look with Robin. With a sigh, she squeezes your hand. “If we make it out of here alive, I promise I’ll throw you the best birthday party ever.”

“I don’t know, I think Steve peeing five feet away from me will be pretty hard to beat.”

Robin laughs and you feel okay for a moment, enjoying the small respite, before the sound of glass banging against metal catches your attention. Turning around, you find Erica slamming one of the vials of liquid against the bars, and immediately you and Robin run to stop her. 

“Hey, be careful!” Robin snatches the cylinder from the girl and tosses it to you for safekeeping. “We don’t even know what that is.”

“Exactly, it could be useful.” Erica argues. 

You hold the vial up high so that she can’t reach; you know the Sinclairs, they’re speedy little devils. “Please elaborate.”

“We can survive down here a long time without food,” Erica jumps and tries to grab what you’ve taken, but you only hold the liquid further out of her reach. “But if the human body doesn’t get water, it will die.”

You’re momentarily impressed by the girl’s survival knowledge, but Robin is undeterred. “I hate to break it to you, but this is not water.”

“No, but it’s a liquid, and if it comes down to me drinking that shit or dying of thirst, I drink.”

“You are fascinating,” you breathe out, both terrified and in awe. As you stare at Erica in wonder, Robin seems to hear something and leaves your side to press her ear against the opposite wall. Frowning, you join her. “What is it?”

“Listen.”

You do as you’re told and press your own ear against the wall, and it only takes you a second to hear it too. Mechanical whirling, the same sound that you heard last night before all the walls in the elevator came crashing down and trapped you. “Shit.”

Robin nods grimly. “You get Erica while I warn the boys.”

Within a minute you’ve helped Erica climb the top of the elevator as you all hide up there. No sooner than when you’ve closed the roof’s opening, one side of the metal wall begins to open and the footsteps of men can be heard. 

Through the grates, you and Steve hunch over as you watch two men walk into the elevator. They’re big, dressed in a bizarre uniform, and one of them is smoking. They talk about something, their words are terse, and for a moment you worry they’ve figured out that you’re hidden above, but eventually they grab a few boxes and make their way outside. 

As the men move back and forth below you, grabbing more and more boxes, you look up at Steve and find him staring at the green liquid you still have in your hands. During the frantic rush to get Erica to safety, you had forgotten to set the chemicals down. His eyes narrow slightly, as if asking you if you’re thinking what he is, and distantly you remember how much force the cylinder seemed to be able to withstand when Erica was slamming it.

If you truly are on the same page as Steve, then it’s a fucking risky plan, but it’s the only chance you have. 

You hand the vial to him and nod, silently urging him to be safe. Then, you turn to the others and risk whispering what you and Steve have thought of. He keeps watch, hand on the small of your back to indicate to you when to stop talking, and soon the plan is formed. 

The moment the Russian men have left the elevator, Steve quickly jumps down from the roof and slides the chemicals underneath the rapidly closing door. You watch nervously, and when the cylinder miraculously holds up against the metal door, you exhale in relief. Steve waves for you and everyone else to jump down as well. “Let’s go!”

You jump down first and slide Erica’s backpack over to Steve before helping her down. Once she successfully slides under the door, you help Dustin down next. The glass starts to splinter under the pressure, the sound of it creaking fills you with dread, but you push the fear down and help Robin next. “Go, go, go!”

When it’s your turn, you hold your breath and will yourself to slide underneath the door to join the others. As you go under, you see the glass start to splinter even more, and you quickly roll onto your stomach and frantically wave at Steve. “Steve, you need to hurry!”

He scrambles underneath the door and only just manages to narrowly escape as the door comes slamming down. Steve instinctively covers you with his body as the glass from the vial shatters, and when you look up and see the green liquid now sizzling as it burns through the concrete floor, you shudder. “You guys see that too, right?”

“Jesus Christ.” Steve stands up and offers you his hand as he inspects the liquid’s damage.

Erica, Robin, and Dustin step forward now too, and the five of you peer over the liquid as it oozes and bubbles, melting everything it touches. You shudder again, you can’t believe that there were boxes full of it surrounding you earlier. 

“You still wanna drink that?” Robin turns Erica, smirking. 

“You guys think it’d be like drinking lava?” You ask the group, and everyone shakes their heads at you. Adrenaline is still coursing through you, your head feels woozy from lack of sleep and water, and you think you’re slowly losing your mind. 

Meanwhile Dustin turns away from you, and when he sees what surrounds you all, his heart drops. “Holy mother of God.”

Turning around, your heart drops as well. There’s a giant hallway that faces you, blue lights illuminating it, and it stretches deep into the abyss. You realize, now, that the elevator had been only the beginning. As you stare down the endless hallway, its length reminiscent of the tunnels you almost died in last year, it hits you that you’ve truly stumbled upon something horrible. 

The Russians have been here a long, long time if they were able to build such a vast and complex underground facility. 

And now you’re trapped within it, with nothing but your knives to keep you and everyone else safe. 

“Well, hope you guys are in good shape.” Steve’s voice breaks you from your thoughts. He pats Dustin’s shoulder and starts to lead the way. “Looking at you, roast beef.”

Unamused with the insult directed at your brother and still angry at the teen for dragging you into this mess in the first place, you trip Steve. He stumbles and only just barely manages to catch himself, which everyone snickers at and Dustin high fives you.

With a sigh, Steve grabs your hand and beckons for everyone to follow. “Let’s go, guys.”

– 

It’s a goddamn long walk. 

You’re miserable. 

It’s hot, you’re covered in sweat and grime, you're starving, and this is officially the worst birthday ever. Sure, you’ve never really liked your birthday, but holy fuck you didn’t think it’d be this bad. 

You’re snappier than usual with everyone, which a part of you feels guilty for. Robin tried making conversation in the beginning, but you only responded with curt, one word answers. It truly isn’t her fault, none of this is anyone’s fault, but the anger that simmers within you threatens to boil over and you’re too tired to control it. 

Yet Steve keeps your hand within his and walks by your side, unaffected by your unusual anger. He lets you remain quiet, he doesn’t take offense to your terse responses, and he smiles apologetically at Robin for you because he knows you’d do the same if you were able to; he’s there for you. 

Steve knows how much anger resides within you, and he helps you brave it. 

You love him endlessly for it. 

“You think they built this whole mall so they could transport that green poison?” Steve asks the group as they speculate about why the Russians even built this underground system in the first place. 

“I very seriously doubt it’s something as boring as poison.” Dustin responds, and you scoff at him. 

“Yeah, because poison is boring.”

He looks at you warily and decides not to risk further exasperation. “What I mean is, it’s gotta be much more valuable, like promethium or something.”

“What the hell is promethium?” Steve looks to you, but you only shake your head. Dustin’s the science whiz, not you.

Instead Robin answers him, though her response about some guy named Victor Stone and a cyborg only confuses both you and Steve more. 

“You’re all so nerdy, it makes me physically ill.” Erica cringes with disgust, and her theatrics are hard to resist smiling at. 

“No, no.” Steve interjects. “No, don’t lump me in with them. I’m not a nerd, alright?” 

“Why so sensitive, Harrington?” Robin asks him, smiling at his offense. “Afraid of losing cool points to a ten year old child?”

“He takes his cool points very seriously, Robin.” You now speak up, a slight smile on your face. You’ll never pass up an opportunity to tease Steve. Nudging him with your shoulder, you laugh softly and glance up at him. “Admit it, you’re a nerd.”

If it were anyone else saying this, Steve would adamantly refuse such a notion, but it’s you and you’re finally smiling at him again, so instead he huffs with amusement. “Yeah, alright. Maybe I am, but I still don’t know jack shit about Prometheus.” 

“Promethium,” Dustin corrects. “Prometheus is a Greek mythological figure, but whatever. All I’m saying is, it’s probably being used to make something.” 

“Or power something?” In their eerie fashion, Robin and your brother now seem to once again be on the same page. 

“Like a nuclear weapon?”

“Totally.”

You rub the temples of your head and sigh, your previously brightened mood quickly dims again. “Cool. Nuclear weapons are cool.” 

Robin mumbles a quick sorry to you, she wishes she could change the topic, but there’s a question that’s been on her mind ever since you discovered the Russians. “But if they’re building something, why here? I mean, Hawkins. Seriously, of all places.”

As Robin continues to drone on about how bizarre of a choice Hawkins is, you, Steve, and Dustin all slow down and let her and Erica walk ahead. They don’t notice your guys’ sudden change of pace, and the three of you slowly come together; you know you’re all thinking the same thing. 

The question has been on your mind for a while, too. 

“You think the Russians know?” Dustin finally asks in a lowered voice.

Steve leans forward, his own voice lowered as well. “About–”

“They could.”

“So it’s all connected?”

While the boys whisper to one another, you feel a shiver run through you. Again you remember the sweat that had been on Billy’s brow and how pale he had been. You remember Will’s fearfulness at Weathertop hill, how he had clutched the back of his neck. You remember Mrs. Waters, Jonathan and Nancy, Mrs. Driscoll.

Something isn’t right, and now there’s Russians in Hawkins with a giant maze of high architectural design. 

“It has to be.” You say now. “There’s too much to ignore. “

Dustin frowns at you. “What do you mean? Is there something else?”

“The Upside Down, I think there’s something wrong–”

You’re interrupted by Robin. “I’m sorry, is there something you’d like to share with the class?”

The three of you turn to her, wide eyed and caught, and before you can come up with some excuse to get her off your backs’, Dustin’s radio comes to life as a Russian man’s voice speaks through it. 

“Walkie,” you, Steve, and Dustin say at the same time, running towards where it resides in Erica’s backpack. 

The Russian continues to drone through the walkie’s speakers as Dustin takes it out and Robin extends its antenna. She brings it close to her ear and listens intently, and after a few seconds she starts to speak the language as well, echoing what the man is saying. “It’s the code,” she finally says. 

“Wherever that broadcast is coming from–”

“It’s close.” Robin finishes your brother’s sentence. “And if there’s one thing we know about that signal…”

Dustin’s eyes light up. “It can reach the surface.” 

“We’ll be able to call for help,” you breathe out, hopeful yet reluctant. It’s your only way out, but you also have no idea what lies within these walls. 

“Let’s go!” Robin quickly stands up, plan already formed in her head, and all you can do is follow. 

It doesn’t take long to figure out where the broadcast is coming from. Within a few minutes of walking, the walls begin to narrow and you hear more and more voices up ahead. You can sense that you’re drawing closer to the main area of the underground complex, and the closer you get, the tighter you clutch at your knives. 

You and Steve work together on guiding everyone. He scouts for places to hide while you keep an eye out for any danger. Slowly, the six of you dodge and weave in and out from corners, avoiding Russians. In an odd sense, the routine is familiar and comforting; you and Steve have done this a million times before, the two of you know how to keep the other safe.

As Steve peers over a corner with the rest of you hiding behind him, Robin whispers into your ear. “How are the two of you so good at navigating scary dangerous situations?”

Her question is innocent enough, but you can sense that she’s piecing things together bit by bit. You try to keep your face neutral, not give anything away, and shrug at her. “We make a good team, I guess.” 

Robin gags at this, which you’re thankful for. At least your response got her mind off of things. 

Steve motions for everyone to follow after him once the coast is clear after a few guards have walked past. “Clear, come on, let’s go.”

He moves swiftly as you stay behind and make sure the rest of the group follows. Robin looks nervously at you, feeling vulnerable out in the open. “Okay, that was close.”

“Too close.” Dustin breathes out as he follows her, which you roll your eyes at. You and Steve are doing the best that you can, given the circumstances. If your brother wanted to worry about safety, he should’ve considered it twenty hours ago. 

“Relax,” Steve reassures everyone. “Nobody saw…” His voice trails off as he rounds the corner.

Your jaw drops. It’s worse than you could’ve ever imagined.

In front of you is what you can only imagine is the main hub of the complex. There’s Russians everywhere, some dressed in guard uniforms carrying shotguns, some dressed in lab coats, and others look like glorified red astronauts. 

You’re hopelessly outnumbered, there’s too many of them.

Steve curses and ducks down, pulling everyone with him as he hides behind a cart against the wall. You try to steady your breathing, you grip the back of Dustin’s shirt tightly in your hand. He looks at you in shock. “Red Dawn.”

“Not now,” you close your eyes and breathe in through your nose and exhale out your mouth. “I’m trying really hard not to lose yesterday’s lunch.”

“I saw it. First floor, northwest.” Erica urgently whispers to Steve.

“Saw what?”

“The comms room.”

You whip your head around to face the girl, making your nausea even worse, and Steve can’t believe what he’s hearing. “You saw the comms room?”

“Correct!” Erica leans closer now, the insistence in her voice unwavering. 

Dustin frowns. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” this is the most sincere you’ve ever seen Erica. “The door was open for a second, and I saw a bunch of lights and machines and shit in there.” 

“That could be a hundred different things.” Dustin says, skeptical.

However, you believe Erica. She’s incredibly pragmatic, she wouldn’t blindly say something that she didn’t believe in. She’s a Sinclair, their morals define them, and Erica’s rant about capitalism and a free market system yesterday only solidifies your theory that she hides away most of her intelligence. “If Erica thinks she saw the comms room, then I believe her.”

She smiles at you gratefully, and Robin nods her head at the two of you. “If Y/N is on board, then I’ll take those odds.” 

Steve stares at you, studies your face and your demeanor, and when he sees the set clench of your jaw and the determination in your eyes, he knows he trusts whatever call you make. He pokes his head out from behind the cart, the five of you mimic him, and even though you’re firm in your stance to follow Erica’s gut, it still strikes terror within you when you see once again how many guards there are.

Sighing tiredly, Steve faces the group. “We’re gonna move fast, we’re gonna stay low. Okay?”

You nod at him. “Good luck.”

Steve smiles at you, nerves now calmed, and starts to guide everyone. He masterfully weaves in and out corners, ducks behind carts when someone walks past, and for a brief moment you’re in awe of him. He’s grown so much since that night at Jonathan’s, when he had run away the second things got too intense, and now he’s the one leading. 

When he opens the door to the comms room, you’re almost overwhelmed with how proud you are of Steve. Then, naturally, as soon as everyone is inside, you turn around and come face to face with a very confused Russian guard. 

And Steve has locked you in a room with him.

Everyone freezes, unsure what to do.

“Nice, Steve.” You sneer at him. 

He looks at you incredulously. “Is now really the time?”

As you mock Steve, the Russian guard starts to reach for the gun at his side. Seeing this, you whip your knives out and display them to the man, the blades glint in the room’s red light. He narrows his eyes at you and tightens his grip on his own weapon, and for a moment you fear that you really will have to use your switchblade. 

However, Robin is quick on her feet and puts her hand up to lower your knives. She starts speaking Russian in hopes of calming the guard down, and it seems to work at first, but when the guard starts speaking back to her, Robin’s plan quickly crumbles; it’s painfully obvious that she doesn’t speak the language. 

The guard reaches for his gun once more, and before you can use your knives, Steve lets out a loud yell and throws himself at the guy, taking him by surprise. 

“Steve!” You find yourself screaming, it’s instinctual. 

For a moment all you can do is stand there and watch, stunned. The two men begin to fight, fists hitting skin as they shove one another, and you have just enough awareness to keep your knives raised in case you need to step in and help. You know Steve’s track record, yet as the fight progresses, you become less and less fearful for him. He’s holding his own surprisingly well.

Steve jabs his elbow into the guard’s stomach before grabbing a nearby intercom phone and slams it into the guy’s head. He falls, hard, onto the electric panel and hits the side of his head against it even harder. 

The moment he lands on the ground, the Russian guard is out cold. 

Panting, Steve stands over him and fixes his hair. You and Dustin exchange surprised looks, both of you ecstatic; Steve won.

“Dude!” Dustin exclaims with glee in his voice. “You won a fight!”

“It’s a miracle,” you breathe out in awe, now at Steve’s side as you check for any injuries. He preens at your attention, his eyes glow, and you can’t help but kiss his check. “Good job, honey.”

“Okay, okay, break it up.” Dustin shoves you away from Steve and then crouches next to the guard’s body, unhooking the keys from his belt loop. You roll your eyes at him while Erica questions what he’s doing. Over his shoulder, he responds, “Getting us our ticket out of here.”

Erica scoffs. “You want to walk all the way back?” 

“Well, we can hang out for a little bit, relax, have a picnic maybe.”

“Have a picnic? We came here for the radio.”

The kids start to argue, but you don’t intervene. Instead, you fix Steve’s hair with your fingers and gently grab his face, moving it around to make sure he isn’t hurt. His skin is still smooth, untouched. “No bruises this time.”

He winks. “Gotta keep this face pretty for you, don’t I?”

“Yeah you do,” you pinch his cheek, laughing softly. “It’s your only redeeming quality.”

“Hey now–”

Robin suddenly appears, looking panicked. You quickly let go of Steve’s face and walk towards her, now noticing the staircase that she’s just come from. There’s blue light at the top, there’s an energy to it that makes you uneasy, yet it’s familiar. 

“What is it?” You ask her, fearing that you already know. 

“There’s something up there.”

You follow her up the stairs, and your heart drops at what you see. Steve sucks in a breath, his hand on your back. 

There’s a room at the top of the stairs, similar to the one below, and there are several men sitting at control panels. Before them is a giant machine, its circular panel spins as it shoots a beam of light into what you can only describe as an open wound within the wall. It’s narrow, long in length, as orange light spills from it. 

When Steve’s eyes meet yours, you both know. 

It’s the gate. 

The Russians have found the gate into the Upside Down.

Anger courses through you, and this anger is a familiar one. It’s the same anger you felt the day Will went missing, when El sacrificed her life to save everyone, when the men at Hawkins Lab continuously got away with ruining the lives of everyone you love. 

After everything you, the kids, and everyone else went through to close the gate, it enrages you to see these fucking idiots trying to reopen it. You had almost died last year trying to end this bullshit, but now you see it had been for nothing.

The side of your ribcage burns, the scar reignited by your fury, and Steve feels your body tense against his. His eyes meet yours again, and without saying anything, you know he understands. 

Nodding, the two of you are in agreement.

You have to stop this.

-

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[mrs-elsie-barnes]

Let The Rain Fall | Bucky Barnes x Autistic!Reader | Short Series - Part 3 of 4 - 3.8k

Overwhelmed by the mission and your misunderstanding with Steve you end up unable to control your emotions. Opening up to Bucky makes you feel better for a while, but when there's an attack on the compound you find yourself sharing more than you meant to.

Warnings: description of a meltdown, little bit of angst, some fluff and mental health whump, fluffy lovely Bucky who is trying his best to understand.

A/N: I know these chapters are a little unbalanced work count wise and this is definitely the longest one. Last chapter next week! I'm really enjoying sharing this with you, so I hope you've enjoyed reading.

<- Part 2

Masterlist | Let the Rain Fall Masterlist | Bucky Barnes

As soon as the jet touched down on the runway you were up, the lap belt discarded hastily across your neighbours. You grappled with the hand holds hanging from the ceiling, attempting to stay upright as the jet came to a stop inside of the hanger well before you’d had the all clear. 

The back door opened slowly, too slowly, you were going to crawl out of your skin if it didn’t hurry up, you were going to tear off your suit with your nails and then start pulling at your hair. Pure, unfiltered, rage bubbled inside of you, clogging your throat so you couldn’t speak, filling your ears with static and your skin with a hundred thousand pin pricks of pain.  

You were on fire, racing down the incline of the jet’s rear doors and running through the vast hanger towards the still open entrance. As you ran the rage spilled over and you screamed, digging your nails into your palms to try and stop the itching, burning, sensation that was taking over you. 

The rain lashed against the metal walls of the hanger and called to you, each howl of wind, each change of direction, sang your name like a siren until you were finally, blissfully, outside.  

It hit you instantly, like a hail of bullets the rain stung your skin and though you should have been running for cover like the ground crew you span in circles instead, head tipped up towards the dark sky, and allowed the rain to wash away your rage. Every rain drop seemed to find the phantom bugs that lurked and crawled across your body making you squirm and itch. One by one they fell away and as they did your mind cleared, the static in your ears was replaced with the rhythm of the raindrops on the concrete, bouncing up and splashing your legs.  

Opening your eyes you allowed the drops to fall from your lashes and down your cheeks, aware of each perfect dot of water, you touched one, changing its path and flicking it away.  

The fog began to lift from your thoughts allowing you enough sense to leave the runway and head towards the open grass beyond where you flopped down, legs and arms splayed to your sides, and closed your eyes again. The rain continued to beat down, soaking you through to your bones and drowning all the negative thoughts that had crept in and the scratching of your clothes, the grating noises of the other agents and your anxiety at being away from your flat and your office, your safe routine and well trodden path.  

Out here in the rain you were one with the sky and clouds, the earth and mud, and nothing could bother you.  

Bucky watched you run from the cockpit, brushing off the cloying of the agents cooing around him and vying for his attention. Before he could reach you to help you back to your seat the rear doors of the jet opened and you were off at a run, speeding past the ground crew and out through the doors.  

He dodged past his colleagues and bumped Steve on the shoulder shouting his apologies as he followed you.  

The rain outside was heavier than he’d imagined, it always sounded worse in the jet so he tried to remain optimistic. But this rain was bouncing off the tarmac in sheets. He stayed by the doors and watched you.  

On the jet you’d been tense, chewing your bottom lip and your fingers until he’d smelt the metallic tang of blood. Only then had you started playing with your zipper again, eyes squeezed closed as if you were having a nightmare. But now you looked wild, free, your arms were wide as you twirled, blown by the wind itself and then you ran towards the grass, throwing yourself down like an offering to the sky and he should’ve been worried, except he’d never seen you smile like that.  

The sky rumbled and the rain began to come down harder, but you didn’t move, your body relaxed into the muddy ground.  

“Okay, that’s it,” he mumbled and pulled his jacket up over the back of his head before running out to join you.  

The grass was slippery, churned up by the force of the rain itself even without his heavy combat boots. But he managed to make it to you quickly, standing over you in an attempt to shelter your already drenched body from the increasingly heavy rain.  

“What are you doing?” He shouted over the roar of the storm.  

“Everything was everywhere.” You answered, eyes still squeezed shut.  

“I don’t understand.”  

“Okay.”  

Bucky sighed, “I want to understand, I just don’t.” Maybe he understood a little bit. But he wanted to be sure.

“Everything was everywhere, doesn't it drive you mad? Come and lie down with me.” 

“Let’s go inside.”  

“No, I like the rain.”  

“Agent,” Bucky knelt beside you in the mud, “there’s a thunderstorm coming, you can’t be out here, it’s dangerous.” 

You opened your eyes and met his stare, your gaze darting away to his top lip, the rain that lingered in the delicate dip of his cupid's bow and then down to where mud oozed up around his knees, “but the rain makes me feel better.”  

“What if I knew somewhere you could enjoy the rain without getting hit by lightning or dying of hypothermia?” 

You sat up too, propped up on your elbows and closer to him than he’d expected, “I’m listening.” 

“Come with me.” Bucky stood and helped you up by your elbow, pulling you along as you ran back inside. 

Inside of the building your wet tac suit began to feel heavy and sticky, the air conditioning had turned up a few degrees, making steam rise from your warm body where the suit was drying in itchy, heavy, patches. 

“You okay with elevators?” Bucky asked, and you nodded, allowing him to guide you in. 

The ride up to his floor was quiet, you weren’t sure what to say after you’d made such an exhibition of yourself, running from the jet into the storm. This was the sort of behaviour you preferred to keep hidden away, both the anger and frustration as well as the joy of feeling free.

Bucky was quiet too, his eyes wandering over to you and then through the glass panel of the elevator in turns. Whenever his eyes met yours a prickle of anticipation formed at the base of your spine and you had to look away from the intensity of his searching gaze. Whatever he was looking for, it didn't seem to make him upset, but it didn't look happy either. 

“We’re here, ladies first.” 

The door opened into a small hallway, sparsely furnished but so clearly his. It was warmer here, for a start, and the lights were low rather than the harsh strip lighting and modern blue glare of the public and shared areas of the compound. It even smelt like him, smokey amber, lavender and petrichor. 

The hallway led into a sitting room and, as you turned, muted grey light began to fill the once dark space, blinds moving up on automatic rollers to reveal the expanse of woodland that circled the compound, the river beyond and the sky, still roiling and blowing. 

“It might be safer for you to enjoy the storm from here.” He whispered behind you, so careful to not startle you and yet sending a shiver straight up your spine anyway.

“This is your apartment, isn’t it?”

You kept looking around, trying to take in every little detail, the coffee machine and the stove, mismatched cups on the counter, a pile of books on the side table and more blankets than you’d ever seen in a man’s home before.

You filed away the colour and shape of the lettering on the books so you could work out what he was reading later. 

“It is,” he smiled, a twitch in his cheek and a flick of his eyes down to your sodden boots made embarrassment slosh in your stomach. 

“God, I’m so sorry, I’m making a mess. Could I borrow a towel?” 

But Bucky didn’t seem phased, “bathroom’s through there,” he pointed through his bedroom door, “there’s towels next to the counter and I can ask FRIDAY to send for some of your clothes, or I have some sweats and t-shirts in the top draw if you want to borrow something.” A pink tinge suffused his cheeks, “or you can go, sorry, should have said where we were going, is this weird?”

“A shower sounds great,” you smiled and took your boots off by the door before heading into Bucky Barnes' bedroom, your breath caught in your throat and your heart thudding again.

Bucky watched you retreat into his bedroom and mentally scolded himself, why didn’t he let you just go home. He dropped his forehead to the cold marble countertop, at least you were where he could see you, make you were okay. You were out of your office, you were socialising with him, more than the other agents said you did anyway, and you had smiled instead of running away.

As soon as he heard the bathroom door click shut he followed, shucking off his wet clothes and finding something dry and comfortable as quickly as possible. His clothes from the day before were still sat on top of the laundry basket, black sweat pants and his old red henley. They were a little worse for wear, but soaked through with rain and with mud in his hair, Bucky felt a little worse for wear as well.

In his bedroom the blinds were down already and steam was rolling from under the bathroom door, inside you were singing a song to yourself, just a few bars over and over, but you sounded happier than you had when he’d brought you in from the rain. 

Maybe you’d stay and have a drink if he could find something you liked. 

“Can I get you a drink?” 

The singing and humming stopped as did the water. “Uhm, yes please.”

“What would you like?” 

“Ahh- what’re you having?” 

Bucky sighed, this wasn’t the point, he wanted you to have whatever you wanted to have. He had seen you drinking plenty of chocolatey drinks, maybe you’d like that? “Hot chocolate?” 

“Oh, yeah, that sounds amazing, thank you!” He could hear your smile through the door and then the sound of wet feet on the tiles, your shadow passed by the door. “I’ll be out in a moment, thank you.” 

When you emerged from his room it seemed you’d taken his offer of borrowing clothes. Most of what he had was grey or black but you’d found the single blue henley he owned, it looked startling against the monochrome of his apartment but then so were you. The shower seemed to have perked you up, your smile back and a bounce in your step. 

“Is there still lightning?” 

“Maybe, I can hear rumbling.”

As if on queue the sky flashed and the room was filled with brilliant white light and your smile was wide. 

“I love storms.” You ran to the window and curled into the corner of the sofa, dragging a blanket over your legs. 

Bucky followed and you took the large mug of hot chocolate and whipped cream from him without looking away from the window. 

Together you sipped slowly, allowing the chocolate to warm both of you in your now matching sweats. You smiled contentedly and, without looking over, you lifted the corner of the blanket and Bucky shuffled closer, propping his legs on the coffee table and letting you drop the blanket back down.

He had to admit, it was nice to watch the storm, the movement of the rain drew his eyes back and forth through the swaying trees, the water covering the tarmac moved in low waves with the wind and the gentle patter on his sheltered windows was so soothing he didn’t even notice his body relaxing into the sofa cushions.

Before long the mugs were empty and forgotten, your head against his chest, eyes closed. One hand was still holding the blanket, the other was wrapped around his dog tags, your thumb moving rhythmically against the mostly smooth surface even while you slept. 

Bucky wasn’t surprised that you didn’t turn up for the next mission, or the next, or the next. He saw you around the office a few times but your colleagues had said you were working some reduced hours and Steve had advised him to stay away. So he did. 

But you didn’t.

It had taken all the energy out of you, your last mission with Bucky. And while you’d normally reveled in some time to yourself, you couldn’t help but miss the quiet of his company.

Bucky wasn’t like the other Avengers, loud and brash, nor was he like the other agents who wanted to fight and party. Bucky was quiet and thoughtful, nothing like the stories of the Winter Soldier or even of the Sergeant in the Smithsonian. You’d enjoyed your rainy evening with him, both of you falling asleep to the pitter patter of rain and the calming storm. 

You just couldn't stop thinking about it, about him.

Before you knew it you were outside of the elevator to his private quarters and the doors were opening revealing the man himself. 

“Hi,” you said, shyly. “I’m so sorry to bother you I just -” 

“Hey, it’s so good to see you, I was going to go out for a walk, but you can come, if you like.” Bucky stepped out, bringing the scent of lavender with him, and shrugging on his leather jacket. You paused, unsure whether this was an invite from politeness, that you should decline politely too, or a genuine request. “Come on, we won’t go far, I just like to walk to clear my head before dinner.” Before you could dig any deeper into your own head Bucky had ushered you out into the crisp evening air. 

“I wanted to come and say thank you for looking after me, I’ve been kinda -” you took a breath, it was hard to explain how these situations made you feel and people weren’t always kind or understanding about them. More than once you’d been called lazy and heard your colleagues scoffing behind your back. It was either that or you were made to feel like a big baby, infantilised and kept away from anything remotely mature. It made you feel sick to think that Bucky might react in the same way, but you desperately wanted him to understand. 

“It’s okay, you never have to thank me for helping you. I’ve had panic attacks before, still do.” He smiled kindly.

You took another breath, he had been honest with you, it seemed only fair. “It’s not so much a panic attack, it’s more - it looks like a panic attack and I guess it could be a reaction to the same kind of upset but, it’s - I’m.” 

“It’s okay,” Bucky drifted closer, his fingers brushing yours as you walked towards the river, then he stopped, taking your hands in his and looking at you, waiting. His body heat was the perfect temperature to soothe your aching hands, painful and strained from ringing them for days and days, the skin on your fingers bitten and picked.

You took a breath.

“I’m autistic. I had a meltdown. Being on the jet, it was too much.” Unbidden tears sprang into your eyes and you rubbed your hand over them trying to hide them. 

“Autistic?”

“Yeah, I’m autistic and everyone experiences it differently, but for me, everything just feels like so much. And I don’t always know what to do, socially, you know. People make all these faces and jokes and say things they don’t mean. I get confused and overwhelmed. That’s what happened on the jet. I don’t like to talk about it, because people can be jerks, but you were so kind and I wanted to say thank you and now I’m rambling. See, I’m never sure when to be quiet and then -” 

The hand on yours squeezed gently, “thank you for telling me.” 

You looked into his earnest eyes and turned your hand over, lacing your fingers together, squeezing back, and stood on your tiptoes, pressing a chaste kiss to his stubbled cheek. 

"Thank you for listening."

Bucky didn’t let go of your hand while you walked to the viewing point on the river and back. The sky was grey and threatening, but everything looked pretty sunny from where he was standing. 

Although he didn’t fully understand what being autistic meant, he knew enough about feeling different, and the rest he was sure he could ask FRIDAY later. But right now — right now all he could think about was holding your hand and enjoying the gentle warmth of your palm in his own.

You bumped along next to him, running your fingers over the leaves of all the plants you passed, naming a few familiar species and smiling at a bee bumbling inside of a brightly coloured ring of large petals. There was a calmness that carried over to his usually jangled nerves. Like sinking into a hot bath, his muscles relaxing, his mind at ease. 

Together you followed the perimeter of the main buildings, strolling quietly while Bucky talked about the mission you’d missed and the gossip Natasha had picked up. He liked being able to share with you, you understood all the little things that irritated him. Like the other agents putting their guns back without cleaning them or the way the senior mechanic kept moving things around. When he told you he’d pranked Steve by swapping all his socks for two sizes smaller you laughed so hard you had to stop, doubling over and clinging to his arm as if your life depended on it.

It was perfect, being here with you, and Bucky was sure it was time to ask you out on a real date.

And then you turned the corner. 

You’d only just caught your breath after Bucky told you about his sock prank on Steve, but then you were knocked back again, a gust of wind so violent you had to brace your feet so that you only slid on the paving instead of falling . 

Bucky grabbed you around the waist and hauled you back against him, you could feel his heart thudding through the layers of your sweater, his metal hand clutching you tight enough to bruise while you took in the chaos before you. 

One of the smaller jets appeared to have lost control, spiralling above the wide concrete landing pad and blowing grass and debris in billowing circles. In the dark of the hanger the Avengers were suiting up, Iron Man shooting out from the gloom in a flash of red and gold before being blown back. 

It wasn’t just the jet. 

For the first time in months you took a steadying breath and concentrated not on your clothes or the feel of your jewellery, not on counting your steps or the day dream you’d concocted to get you through the day. But on the feel of the people around you, the pressure of the earth pushing back up against your feet and the whip of the wind. 

Bucky turned you into him, pressing you further into his chest and shielding your eyes from the dirt filling the air. 

“It’s not the jet.” You shouted above the roar. 

“What?”

“It’s not the jet. If it was the jet, Tony would’ve been able to fly to it, but the air moved. Why did it move.” 

“Because it’s not the jet?” 

“Right!” 

You looked up at him, from this angle his lips looked more full and you could smell his soap, the scent lingering on his chin and jaw. It occurred to you just how handsome Bucky was, with his strong cheekbones and cool, blue eyes. And how deeply odd you’d always felt, awkward and out of place. Yet here he was, holding your hand, and if you could hold hands with a handsome man…

 You pulled away and, with careful footing, made your way closer to the jet. 

Bucky watched as you approached, sliding back every few steps as the jet turned, and followed your sight line to the cockpit. He’d been so sure that the pilot was at least somewhat to blame, perhaps a recruit gone rogue or, he swallowed the sickly feeling building at the back of his throat, perhaps even a HYDRA mole. But the man inside looked as terrified as everyone on the ground, frantically pulling at every lever inside. 

It’s not the jet. 

He looked straight for the tree line, that’s where he’d hide. Away from the security details of the compound buildings but close enough to watch the mayhem unfold. And there, just inside of the gloom, was a flash of metal, something moving.

His feet wouldn’t move, stuck between heading for the woods and running after you, what were you thinking walking towards that thing? It could fall at any second and yet you were approaching it like it was an injured animal, palms out, open. 

The commotion at the entrance to the hanger had slowed as well so that everyone could watch you inching closer. The wind continued to pull and drag at Bucky’s henley and hair, throwing long strands across his face. He pushed them behind his ears, clearing his line of sight. 

Above the airfield the jet was still and below it you stared upwards, hands raised, straining as the wind continued to eddie around you. 

He chose you, lurching forwards into a run and anchoring his body around you again. 

“How?” He shouted, the wind still deafening. 

You didn’t answer. All of your energy concentrated on the jet above you and its slow journey back to the hangar. Bucky felt you turn in his arms and followed you around, your hands lowering slowly and gently until the wheels touched down. 

The pilot lept out, running for the doors, tossing his helmet aside. The sharp sound of it hitting the ground seemed to shake the Avengers into action again, a rush of bodies moving towards the trees, the other jets and the rallying of agents. 

In the commotion that followed, Bucky struggled to keep a hold of you as you ran across the compound again, placing the largest flying objects back into their correct places, lowering trees carefully instead of allowing them to crash to the floor, dodging the falling electrical lines and debris being blown into you from the still swirling winds. 

Steve shot past him, grabbing his arm and mumbling something about a search party, rushing him away from the compound in search of the stranger in the trees, but by the time he returned to the compound, frustrated, scratched and empty handed, you had vanished again and even though it was one less voice in the vast hanger, everything felt lonelier without your hand in his.

Part 4 ->

[itsonlyjoseph]

Port Valley | Bucky Barnes x reader - Chapter 4

Synopsis: Nat forces Bucky to confront his growing feelings…

Warnings: sexual references

Word count: 2.7k

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Bucky couldn’t get out of there fast enough. He felt like his skin was burning and he hated it. He almost kissed Y/N. He wanted to. And worse than that, his mom almost caught them.

Bucky decided that he’d just try to forget it. Try to forget the almost kiss, try to forget his mom’s persistence, try to forget this tingly feeling he hasn’t felt in years… or ever.

His truck was cold when he hoped inside, making him blow air into his cupped hands to try and warm up. It was no use.

He headed down to the lumberyard to get his day started, but he couldn’t concentrate.

Didn’t care when Sam or Steve tried to talk to him. Didn’t care for the filthy looks sent his way by John. His mind was elsewhere. He found himself thinking about you. About your smile or the twinkle in your eyes when the light hit them just right. He thought about the fact that you got along with his mom so easily and the feeling of his hands in yours whilst your knees touched. His mind even went as far as to imagine you standing at the top of the aisle wearing a white dress but quickly shook those thoughts away.

Soon enough, it was lunchtime and Bucky headed back to his truck to wallow by himself. His usual.

“Hey, you.” He turned when he heard the familiar voice of Nat coming from behind him.

“Hey.” He grunted out, voice gruff.

“Treat me to lunch?”

“Sure.” He nodded his head towards his truck.

Bucky drove them over to the diner, ordered a couple of burgers and sat in silence whilst they ate.

“You socked John pretty good.” Nat started.

“He deserved it.”

“I agree.” Nat said. “Scared Y/N though.”

This made Bucky stop eating, his gaze ever so slightly lifting to Nat. Was Y/N… scared of me? He thought

“Scared her how?” He found himself asking.

“Well, she didn’t really say anything but I’m not an idiot. I’m bartender, I see right through people and she might deny it, but it was pretty clear what she was feeling during that moment.”

“Which was?” Bucky raised his eyebrows.

“Thankful that it was you that came and helped her, and not anyone else.”

“So?”

“So?” Nat repeated as if it was obvious.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“God, you men are stupid! It means she likes you, you idiot!”

Bucky’s stomach tingled.

“She doesn’t… like me.” He denied, but his face burned.

Nat looked over Bucky’s flushed face and took note of his refusal to meet her eyes. Normally, he’d just grumbled out a bitter self deprecating denial and get back to his food.

“Did something… happen after the bar?”

James just slowly shook his head, still not meeting her eye.

“What happened?” Nat pressed.

Bucky took his time to finish chewing his food slowing and shallowing before he continued.

“We almost… kissed… this morning.”

Nate’s eyes bugged out of her head in surprise and excitement.

“Really? Why almost?”

“Ma walked in.”

Bucky’s ears were burning. He hated talking about his. He hated feeling like this.

“Did she almost kiss you or you almost kiss her?”

“Uh, bit of both… I guess, I don’t know.”

“Do you like her?”

“No.”

“Bucky.”

“I don’t.”

“I don’t believe you.”

James just signed. He’d been defeated.

“I… don’t know what I feel.”

“It’s pretty obvious what you feel. You defended her against John and then almost kissed her. You like her, Bucky.”

Bucky’s eyes dropped, not longer able to meet her gaze.

“I can’t.” He mumbled, staring at his hands in his lap.

“Why not.”

“Once she gets to know me, especially now, she’ll go running.” Bucky said, referring back to his time in Afghanistan.

“James, if she likes you, no she won’t.”

“And how would you know?”

“Because I’m also a woman and I know how we think. Especially about men we like.”

Bucky didn’t say anything after that, so Nat spoke up again.

“You’re a good man, Buck. Even now. She’ll see that.”

“I don’t remember the last time I… liked… someone.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

****

The day was nearing to an end and you had surprising not really thought about your almost kiss with James. And even more surprising, Winnie didn’t mention it either. She just buzzed around the store with a subtle smile on her face.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket with a text. You pulled it out to see who it was from and we’re surprised to see it was from Nat.

Wanna have a sleepover with me and Wanda tonight?

The text message made you smile. You hadn’t had a sleepover since you were in high school but it sounded great right now. You hadn’t a lot to get off your chest and a girls night would probably do some good.

Sure :)

****

You were sat in Nat’s little two bedroom house with her and Wanda. The three of you had made a a giant soft oasis out of pillows and blankets. You had snacks and a pitcher of mimosa as well as a backup bottle of wine.

“God, and the sex wasn’t even good!” Wanda finished telling her story, laughing.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you slept with him!” Nat laughed.

“Eh, it was an experience.” She said, taking a gulp of her mimosa. “Besides I’ve got my eyes set on someone else.”

“Who?” You wondered.

“Steve.” She smirked.

“What, like to date or just to sleep with?” You asked.

“Just sleep with, I ain’t interested in all that.”

“Why not?”

“Eh, guys are a head ache and there are only so many Bucky’s to go around.”

Your interest piqued when she said that.

“What do you mean?”

“Bucky’s like the only decent guy in Port Valley. Just a shame he’s never shown interest in anyone here.”

“Oh, right.” You mumbled, taking a sip of your drink.

Nat’s smirk became deeper as she thought about Bucky and you and the potential you both had.

“He’s not gay or anything. Just a loner. Apparently, once Maggie West accidentally walked in on him in the men’s locker room at the lumberyard, thought everyone was gone or something, and he was totally naked.” Wanda giggled, one too many drinks under belt.

You chuckled, taking a sip of your drink but nearly choked at her next outburst.

“She said he had a massive penis too!”

“Oh my god!” You laughed, embarrassed as you covered your face with your hands.

You all laughed with each other at the absurdity of the direction of the conversation. You must admit, you felt like a teenager again, laughing about boys at the sleepover. You didn’t mind the feeling though.

Nat decided not to say anything to you or Wanda about the almost kiss. She decided to let this unfold naturally.

“What do you think about him?” Wanda asked after she’d finished laughing.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on, it’s pretty obvious that you’re into him.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” You mumbled out awkwardly.

“I’ve seen the way you look at him.” Wanda smirked.

“Well, he’s very handsome.” You shrugged.

“Yeah! He’s so sexy, are you kidding?” She bursted out. “All rugged and manly.” She added jokingly. “Strong, too.”

You just chuckled.

“But honestly, it’s obvious.”

“Well, I guess I was… pleased… that he came to my rescue. It kind of made me feel some type of way.”

“As would any sane woman.” Nat added.

“I… don’t know what I feel.” You shrugged again.

****

The next morning, after your little sleepover, you had decided do make a pact with yourself.

Whatever happened, happened.

You wouldn’t encourage it or deny it. Just let it happen. You knew you liked James and you had a feeling that maybe he liked you too considering you almost kissed.

Even though you swore off men and love forever, you slowly found yourself not caring about the past anymore. Yes, it still hurt but you were ready to move on.

Truthfully, you had expected James to talk to you about your almost kiss but he never did. Every time you saw him he looked as emotionless and stoic as ever. It confused the hell out of you.

Yes, he was shy and standoffish but you were losing hope that he actually liked you.

You saw him at the diner a few times and he just put his head down. You saw him at the book store every once in a while but he only spoke to his mother.

Maybe you read it wrong.

****

After his conversation with Nat, Bucky was conflicted. Conflicted because he realised that he liked you but was scared. Scared to get close to someone. Scared to be rejected after learning about his baggage. Scared you’d get sick of Port Valley and go back to New York. Scared of everything that could go wrong.

Every time he saw you around town, he put his head down and turned the other way. He knew you noticed but figured it was for the best. He’d grow out of this childish crush and go back to his lonely, boring life.

He had just walked through the threshold of his front door after another long shift as his phone started buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out to see Nat calling.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Hello, sunshine.” She responded sarcastically. “Don’t sound so happy to talk to me.”

“What do you want?” He grumbled.

“Why are you denying yourself life’s simple pleasures?”

“Huh?” He was confused.

“You finally admitted that you like this woman, and now you’re hiding from her!”

“No I’m not.”

“Really? Seems like you are. You forget I caught you quite literally hiding behind a shelf at the grocery store.”

“Yeah, whatever. What’s your point?” Bucky muttered.

“I care about you Bucky. And that means I want you to be happy. I’ll bet this isn’t fun, liking someone and not doing anything about it.”

He didn’t respond so Nat spoke again.

“Just take a chance, James.”

The line went dead, leaving him alone once again.

Maybe she was right.

****

It was almost an extra week and a half until the next time you spoke to him. Nat had asked you to go on a walk with her to pass the time and you’d agreed. The snow was barely an inch thick and the sun was shining.

“What the hell are we doing here?” You exclaimed, eyes wide when the lumberyard came into view.

“I just have to talk to Steve about something. Shouldn’t take too long.” She smiled. But the smile was the same smile Winnie always held.

Nat went off, leaving you along by the administration office as you waited.

“Y/N?” You heard James voice, making you look up.

He looked good. Very good. He had on the signature red shirt you started to like so much with the sleeves rolled at the elbows. He was huffing and puffing as if he’d just ran a marathon so you figured he’d been working hard when he saw you.

“Hi.” You mumbled.

“What are you doing here?”

“Nat said that she had to talk to Steve.”

“She’s sitting in the lunch room on her phone.”

Damn. She got you. You had a feeling that this was a ploy but decided to trust her anyway. Suddenly, embarrassment filled your chest.

“Oh…” You said, beginning to turn away.

Bucky’s spine tingled as he watched you turn away. It was now or never.

“Wait.” He rushed out, making you turn back to him.

“Yeah?” You responded, a hopeful tone.

“Do you maybe wanna… uh, get… coffee… with me?” He asked, not daring to look at you. He was incredibly shy and you found it very endearing.

“Okay.”

“Really?” His eyes shot up.

You nodded, smiling softly at him.

“Uh, okay. I’ll text you.” He rushed, turning and stomping back to his work with saying goodbye. You could see the tips of his ears burning red as he left.

As she she’d timed it perfectly, Nat came around the corner with a smile on her face.

“All done! Let’s go!”

****

James texted you that night asking if you wanted to get coffee two days from now.

You responded yes.

When the day finally came, both Nat and Wanda were stood behind you in the mirror suggest makeup options, hairstyles and outfits.

“No, no! I think she should wear the black top! It shows off her boobs!” Wanda suggested.

“What if Bucky’s an ass man?!” Nat exclaimed.

“Guys, it’s just coffee.” You interjected.

“It’s never just coffee, Y/N.” Wanda sassed.

“With Bucky, it might be.” Nat shrugged.

“How about I just wear this and this?” You said, holding up a tight sweater, the one you worn on your first day the book store, and a pair of jeans.

Wanda put up her hands in surrender and moved to start the makeup.

By the end, you were pleased. You looked nice but not like you were trying too hard. You hoped Bucky was easily impressed.

****

You walked into the diner to see Bucky already sitting in a booth, nervously fidgeting with his hands as he waited. He was wearing a slightly nicer button down shirt than you’d ever seen and he had no hat on.

Did he put effort into his appearance for you?

You slowly walked towards him with a smile on your face.

“Hi.”

His eyes shot up at the sound of your voice. He stood just as quickly, his knee banging into the table on the way up.

“Uh, hey.” He greeted, awkwardly.

You both sat down as a waitress came up to the table.

You’d been sitting and making light conversation for about five minutes when you decided that enough was enough.

“Were you really gonna’ kiss me at your mom’s shop?” You said abruptly.

James’ eyes widened and his knee hit the bottom of the table, making you smile shyly at him.

“Uh, sorry about that, I don’t-“

“I wanted you to.”

“You did?”

“Of course I did. You practically saved me from John.”

Bucky didn’t really know what to say to that.

“I wasn’t just gonna watch.”

“You’re a great guy, James.” You smiled sweetly at him, making him look away embarrassed.

As the date wore on, you found yourself and James sitting closer and closer together until you were both side by side on the same side of the booth. His thick thigh was pressed into your smaller one, warming it greatly. He was so much larger than you. It made you feel giddy.

“And New York just happened to be perfect.” You had been recounting a story about your job after college. “I had so many connections and found this great company to start with. It was amazing.”

Bucky was listening intently but found himself getting slightly insecure at the way you spoke about New York. Would you go back? Would you leave and he’d never see you again?

“What about you? Always wanted to work as a lumberjack?” You asked him.

“Uh, not really. I was in the military for a while but got kicked out. Needed something to do so Steve got me a job at the lumberyard.” He found himself wanting to open up to you. To tell you things that he wouldn’t even tell Steve or Sam.

“Why’d you get kicked out?”

“I was injured. Pretty badly. Almost lost my arm.” He said, self hatred seeping into his tone.

“Oh, James.” You started, reaching for his hand. “You should be kinder to yourself.”

James gulped at the way you looked at him. It wasn’t pity and not really sympathy. More like… admiration.

After that, James was a little more open. He talked about his high school days, about his hobbies (unsurprisingly, woodwork), what he did in his free time. He was still very timid, very reserved. But that was just him. It’s one of the things you found so endearing.

Soon, the sun was getting ready to set. Winter made the days much shorter.

Bucky paid, even after you tried to make him let you pay, and the two of you stepped out of the diner.

The date was over but you felt light in your chest. You hadn’t really ever felt like this before. You hoped this feeling would last, and you hadn’t sneaky feeling that it would.

[rogersideup]

｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter 10

May 20th

Series masterlist

Previous part: Star Crossed Lover

Word Count: 11,175

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Allusions of sex, mentions of violence, and abuse recovery.

After a long hot shower, Steve stood in front of the bathroom sink. With nothing but a towel around his waist and his bathroom door wide open to let out the trapped steam, he very carefully inspected his face through the still semi- foggy mirror as he shaved.

Often times he hated the hassle of being clean shaven, and wished he could get away with having a beard- or even just some stubble again without people making weird comments about it. But if the masses felt safer with a less hairy version of Cap, who was he to not give the people what he wanted?

Eventually he got lost in how silly it was that the avengers appearances meant so much in regard to how the public perceives them, but the sound of his front door unlocking and opening pulled him right back.

"Hey, Love Bug!" Steve happily called out to you.

Blissfully unaware of what you were going to walk into, you saw the reflection of a half naked super soldier through the bathroom mirror the moment you entered his soapy smelling apartment.

The closest you had ever gotten to even seeing the man shirtless was if he reached to grab something up high or stretched and his shirt would rise to reveal an inch or two of his lower belly, so the sight of water still dripping down his pecs caused a totally normal reaction.

A high pitched screech and the sound of your hand slapping over your eyes caused Steve to physically jolt, then nearly hunch over in a booming laugh when he turned to look at you.

Standing in your Avengers suit with rosy skin, and a big smile stretched across your cheeks, you started fanning your face. "I thought you said you were almost ready! I wouldn't have barged in here had you not texted me 10 minutes ago saying that!"

"Do I not look almost ready to you?" Steve's laugh prevailed at your reaction, motioning up and down at his towel covered body.

"Almost ready to be a Baywatch lifeguard? Maybe. Go on a mission? Absolutely not." You continued with a loud voice and defensive hand motions. "Your hair is still wet!"

"It'll dry" He shrugged with a giggle. "I just need to put my suit on, it'll take two minutes."

"Is it hot in here?" You questioned, going back to fanning your face with your hand. "Or is it just you?"

Now it was Steve's turn to blush. "I don't know, it started getting pretty hot when you walked in"

"You know what? That was pretty smooth for you." You said, feeling proud of him for finally being brave enough to flirt. You dropped your duffle by the door,  "Good job, Stevenson. I'm proud."

He watched you stride into his bedroom, getting closer to where he stood. Happy with the distance closing and assuming you would be greeting him with a hug, or maybe even a kiss if he was really lucky, a pout settled deep into his lips and brows as you belly flopped onto his bed instead.

"What the hell, man?" Steve questioned sadly.

You looked over at him, momentarily confused. He crossed his arms around his chest as you tried to understand what you did to elicit this response from him.

"Now I'm freezing cold." He joked playfully, looking at himself in the mirror again and grabbing a tube of hair balm and squeezing some onto his fingers.

Realizing what you had done, you got up from the bed and wrapped your arms around him from behind as he spread the product into his freshly washed dirty-blonde locks. Feeling the soft, warm skin of his tummy on the palms of your hands was a feeling you knew would be highly addictive. Your cheek rested on his smooth back and you let out a content sigh. "Hi, Stevie. I missed you."

"I missed you too" Steve grinned, rinsing the excess product off his hands under the faucet and patting them dry before placing his hands on your arms. "It's so warm and lovely here, huh?"

"It's perfect" you agreed with a smile. Rocking up on your tippy toes to look over his shoulder and into the mirror, you took a selfish moment to admire the parts of him you've never seen before.

There was a lot of effort on your end to keep the drool inside your mouth as your eyes inspected his broad shoulders and strong chest. "You have beautiful eyes."

"Thank you, pretty girl." Steve giggled at your statement as he could see clear as day that you definitely weren't looking at his eyes. "First time in your new suit, huh? It looks great!"

"It feels great too, so much more comfortable than my old one." You told him, regretfully releasing him from your arms and finding your way back to his bed and sitting crisscrossed on top of it.

“And your first Avengers mission! It's a big day." Steve left the bathroom and started gathering all the pieces of his suit. "Are you nervous?"

"Considering it's just us two on the mission, I'm not as nervous as I think I would be if it was with the whole team." You explained. "But I always get a just a little nervous before missions."

"I get that too, the jitters." Steve scrunched up his nose. "I'm extra nervous for this one"

"Why? It should be easy peasy!" You rationalized.

"I've seen your mission stats and felt first hand how hard you hit, you intimidate me." Steve admitted with a giggle. "I have to be on my best behavior to try and keep up with you."

"Are you actually insane?" You questioned, raising an eyebrow. "You're Captain America you dumb bitch, nobody can ever compare to you. I'm the one that has to work extra hard here."

Stopping in place, Steve gasped and placed an offended hand over his heart. "What did you just call me?"

"Captain America?"

"No, the other thing."

"Oh, a dumb bitch!" You said happily.

"How dare you" Steve joked, shaking his head. His eyes stayed on all the pieces of his suit that were lying on the bed, next to where you were sitting.

"I'm offended that you even had that thought."

"You're offended that I think you're good at what you do?" Steve quipped.

"Do I need to remind you again that you're Captain America?" You asked, pointing to the star on the suit next to you. "Maybe if you put that on you'll finally remember."

"I do need to put that on." Steve agreed with you, still standing and hovering over the suit.

"So why aren't you?" You asked.

"I'm really shy" Steve whispered to you, emphasizing his point.

"Oh, now you're shy!" You chuckled, turning around to face the opposite direction and covered your eyes with the palms of your hands. "I promise I won't look."

"I'll be fast!" Steve declared. A smile spread on your face as you heard his towel hit the ground, happily knowing he trusted you enough to not take a peek, but also imagining him scrambling to get into his clothes as fast as he could.

There were a few moments when all you heard was fabric rustling, then you heard a few sounds of struggle. "You okay back there? Sounds like you're fighting the uniform instead of fighting in the uniform."

"Either I'm getting bigger or these pants are getting smaller because I swear every time I put them on it's a workout just to get my ass in them" Steve admitted, voice straining as he was stuffing, pulling, and stretching. Then, you heard a zipper and a buckle. "Okay, mission accomplished, you will no longer be traumatized if you look."

You laughed at his commentary and turned back around, all he managed so far was his pants, but he was more dressed than he was in the towel. "I think those pants are the perfect size for your butt."

Luckily, slipping his undershirt over his head shielded his pink cheeks from you. "That implies that you're looking at my butt."

"I'm looking at your pants, they just so happen to be right in front of your butt. That's not my fault." You corrected. "And even if I was ogling at your cheeks, you've seen mine as bare as the day I was born so I think it's only fair."

"I saw all the places the sun don't shine" More zippers, more buttons, more buckles, more pieces, "I never said there was anything wrong with sneaking a peek."

"So you're not that shy after all" You grinned.

"Did you look over the mission briefing?" Steve asked, trying to change the topic of conversation away from his butt.

"Of course I did, like a good little agent"

"Avenger" Steve corrected happily with a lopsided smile.

"Avenger." You agreed, watching him put on his fingerless gloves.

"And thank you, that makes my job easier. So you know-"

"12 hours to get in, secure the payload, take out the traitors, destroy enemy lines, get out. We'll have a little sleepover in Colorado, we'll be home by noon tomorrow. Easy peasy!"

"Very good, most of the avengers don't pay attention to any of that information unless I verbalize it to them." Steve giggled, attaching his shield to his back after putting on his boots. "The terrain will have high elevation so we might get have a pretty big increase in altitude, it'll also be really cold- if not snowing. Are you prepared for that?"

"I checked the weather and packed accordingly."

"Ugh, I love you." Steve sighed, so happy to finally have a teammate he didn't have to babysit.

"I love you too." You giggled, standing up knowing it was time to go.

"Ready to head out?" Steve asked, walking towards the door.

Following behind him, you stop him at the door. "Wait!"

"What's wrong?" He asks with an adorably confused and concerned face.

You rocked up on your tippy toes and gave him a quick kiss. "Sorry, just needed to get that out of my system before we left."

Steve smiled. "You shouldn't be saying sorry, I should be saying thank you."

His dead serious tone made you laugh as he picked up both your duffles at the door while you opened it. "Get in the Jet, Twinkles, we have crime to fight!"

"Yes, Ma'am!"

Over the past few weeks, all of the avengers have been a substantial part of your successful and smooth transition onto the team, but especially Steve. There wasn't one scary step you had to take where he wasn't right next to you metaphorically, or physically holding your hand.

Through extensive paperwork, doctor's appointments, media training, and press conferences, he was right there to help you through it. Whether it was covering your shivering body with warm, fluffy blankets after having a fever from getting multiple rare vaccines just in case you had to travel to all sorts of different places around the world, or practicing answers to common questions the press loved to shout out to speakers at conferences, he was happy to guide you down the right paths.

After giving your face a few days to heal from the attack, you were getting slathered in thick layers of concealer and foundation before Tony introduced the general public to you, the newest Avenger. That day in particular was hard.

You were nearing a full blown panic attack while sitting in a hair and makeup chair. The makeup artist struggled at first to cover the fresh scars on your face, and you were so wrapped up in your own head about the public's reaction to you that your mom who sat in the audience, came back in the green room just to hold your hand and remind you of how great you were.

Though your Mom was one of your biggest comforts throughout your entire life, nothing compared to the calmness that washed over you when Steve entered the room. He sat right next to your mom as the stylist finished up your hair, and talked you through how the next hour of your life would go, and reminded you that he would be right in the front row next to your mom for support.

Their bright smiling faces encouraged you to be brave enough to push through the hard parts, and reminded you to bask in the joy of the warm welcome you got from the whole country.

That was also the same day your mom caught onto what was really happening, and found a few moments to ask you if you and Steve were dating when he slipped away to speak to a reporter. Then not too long after that, you and Steve mutually agreed that it would be best if the blossoming relationship between the two of you stayed private for a while as you adjusted to the public eye.

Though you knew he was still too nervous and shy around you for PDA, you still found the extent of his consideration of you to be so very sweet.

And now the two of you were at the point of the scars on your face healing nicely, first mission together underway, and he still hasn't kissed you first.

It was concerning to you for a little while there, so much so that you even went to Bucky to ask him for some knowledge from his 100 year old archive of Steve Rogers knowledge and expertise. He reassured you through plenty of experience that Steve just really sucked at being confident around girls he found himself pining over, and you, for some reason, damn near knocked him head over heels every time he looked at you. Though you were flattered and understood Bucky's words probably came vicariously through Steve's own mouth, you knew you just had to be gentle and give him some time.

Luckily for Steve, you had all the time in the world for such a sweet creature. Except for today, today the two of you only had 12 hours to complete your tasks.

Just as expected, the mission was going as smoothly as it possibly could. Well, for you it was. Steve on the other hand found a whole new set of struggles out on the field he's never experienced before.

The two of you went at it with the good ol' divide and conquer method. Though teamwork and sticking together was more his usual style, he understood the time frame and importance of getting it all done as fast and clean as possible, and he trusted that you would be perfectly fine on your own.

What he didn't consider was the moments your paths crossed and how flustered he got watching you fight. It was like watching a hot steak knife cut through room temperature butter, nobody stood a chance against you. A billion different emotions flew at him as he witnessed you fighting with his own eyes for the first time. His instinct was to protect you at all costs, but he knew damn well you didn't need him. It was simultaneously the hottest thing he had ever seen, while also kicking his own confidence down a notch considering all his thoughts revolved around you and that made his own good decision making decline rapidly.

He nearly died on the spot as he ran past you right as you took down an opponent, and still found the chance to wink at him as he passed by. Weak in the knees, he still had to find the strength to keep going.

Then with all rooms cleared minus the one with the payload, your voice filled his comms and the two of you agreed to clear it out together. A few hours deep into the mission your familiar chipper tone was now a bit deeper and raspier from the elevation and cold cold weather, all it did was make his weak knees even weaker.

By the time he ran into the room that you stormed into without waiting for him first, you were already combating with about 4 guys twice the size of you. One by one they fell to the ground, and as you came face to face with the very last of the enemies, Steve knocked him out before you could even raise your fist.

"Oh, thanks!" You smiled, standing a little straighter while trying to catch your breath.

"You were doing pretty shitty without me, thought I'd lend a hand" Steve joked, big cheeky smile on his face. He was genuinely happy to see you in your element, this was the first time he ever witnessed you be completely confident.

"My hero!" You swooned, pretending to fall backwards into his arms.

Steve giggled before looking around the room and spotting the briefcase they needed to recover. Carefully picking it up, he realized they had a few moments to just relax now that none of their opponents were conscious. "In all seriousness, remember how I said I was intimidated by you this morning? That still stands. I can barely concentrate."

"You're ridiculous, but you're doing great." You smiled, panting while you reached up to squeeze his shoulder. "I'm not used to fighting alongside teammates who actually try to get the job done. It's actually really nice. Thanks, Cap."

"Get used to it, this is how it's going to be from now on." He reminded you. "It should be pretty smooth from here on out, we'll be out of here in no time."

After destroying classified information, and tying up all the loose ends, out of there they were. By the time the two of you made it to the hotel for, as you loved to call it, your sleepover, that's when Steve finally got his chance to shine by talking care of everything.

Check in, carrying the bags, even letting you shower first while he got dinner for the two of you so you didn't have to think about anything. Acts of service was how he best knew to express his love for others, and he could tell you always appreciated it. Especially when you were used to taking care of all of your former teammates on missions.

By the time you got your sore body out of the shower and dressed in the coziest of sweats and fresh fluffy socks, it was already almost midnight and Steve already had a delicious meal waiting for you. The two of you ate together, and the exhaustion hit you so hard that you were hysterically laughing about things that weren't even funny, which made Steve laugh right along with you.

It was such a nice change of pace for the both of you. Being able to let go of the mental weight after days of battle was hard to do, but each other's company made it easy. It made you wonder why you didn't agree to be an Avenger way sooner, and it made you realize how much you just wanted to keep Steve around you forever and ever.

He knew when your giggles subsided with one big yawn, it was probably time for you to get some sleep. When he got up to take a shower, you didn't hesitate to dive into bed and make yourself cozy. By the time he got out, also cozy in some warm sweats, a content smile stretched across his face when he saw your sleeping frame all snuggled up in the blankets to keep warm.

It was starting to snow out, and the heater tried its best to keep it warm, but nothing beat the warmth of each other. Which is why Steve made the executive decision to completely ignore one of the two beds in the room and slide underneath the covers with you.

As carefully as he could to not wake you up, he reached over to turn the lights off, then cuddled you to you. He pulled your back to his front and held you snuggly against him, just as his head hit the pillow, your quiet sleepy voice pulled his attention to you.

"Yay, Stevie sleepover!" You enthused with barely any energy. The juxtaposition was more than amusing to the soldier.

"Buggy bedtime!" He quietly enthused with you. "Sorry, I tried so hard not to wake you up."

"I'm so happy I'm awake, because now I'm aware of how warm and cozy this is." You mumbled, Grabbing onto one of his arms and hugging in between yours.

"How are you feeling?" Steve asked. "Need anything before we sleep?"

"Just a little sore, but I'm totally okay. I actually feel really good." You confessed. "How 'bout you? Are you okay?"

"Not even a scratch." You could hear the grin in his tired voice. "You were incredible today, I'm really proud of you"

"You taught me everything I know." You tried getting impossibly closer to him, feeling like you were halfway between the real world and dream land.

"Hey..." Steve adjusted his arm from you grip so he could reach your face.

"Hmm?" You questioned, half asleep as his hand cupped your cheek and gently pulled it towards him.

All the already thin air was nearly knocked out of your lungs and you were fully convinced that you were definitely dreaming when he pressed his lips to yours. As corny as it seemed, this kiss was different than all the rest. It felt like all the romance books had described kisses. Sparks, fireworks, passion, comfort, love, and longer than all the ones you'd exchanged before.

You'd never felt anything like it before, not with him, not with Harvey, no one. You knew you'd remember it forever.

All of the mental weight you felt over his long journey of being too scared to kiss you first just melted right off. Immediately you realized how silly it was in the first place. You were happy to move on his own time.

"I know I haven't been the best at truthfully expressing my feelings, but that's just because you're the most special little thing I've ever had before. You made me incredibly nervous even though you've been nothing but patient with me. But just know that I really do think you're the most wonderful person I've ever met. I'm really happy we got to do this today, you've grown so much to get here. It's been really lovely to watch."

Turning over to face him, you kissed him right back and held him just as tight. "You've grown a lot too, and you've definitely gotten braver. I think you're the sweetest, most handsome man on this planet and frankly I don't know if I deserve words as kind as those. But thank you, your spot in my life has been one of the greatest honors, even more so than the fancy Avenger title."

"Now how am I ever supposed to go on missions with anyone else?" Steve grinned and he slowly moved his hand off your face and settled into the mattress and against your body. "This has spoiled me completely."

"Clint doesn't ever want to spoon with you?" You questioned sleepily. "I bet Bruce is nice and warm."

"I'd rather sleep on the floor." Steve deadpanned. "With no blankets..."

"I bet Tony would snuggle up." You smiled to yourself, knowing that would tip him over the edge.

"Outside. Naked in the snow."

A lazy giggle was all your body had energy for, "but you're shy!"

"Then it's a really good thing that you're here instead of them, huh?" Steve pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. "We can get all the cozy sleep we want in this expensive hotel on the government's dime."

"So luxurious" You mumbled. "Hope you have the best sleep ever."

"I always sleep well next to you, and the law says we have to sleep in tomorrow so that's even better."

"Oh, really?" You smiled at his made up law.

"Really." He confirmed. "Goodnight, love bug."

"Sweet dreams, Twinkles."

You did just what Steve, or the law, told you. It wasn't very hard to sleep in as late as your body would allow when you felt so safe and warm in the hold of your sweet super soldier.

Eventually when the two of you finally got your butts out of bed and back home, gears were shifted from missions and battlefields to lawyers and courtrooms.

With a lot of help and passion from Natasha, Harvey was officially on trial and facing the legal repercussions of his actions. Being a Plaintiff in a physical assault case was not something you ever had on your bingo card, and way out of your realm of knowledge, so there was a lot of work to be done.

Luckily, you had a lot of incredible people on your side. There was a solid week full of preparation with a big team of people who found it really important for you to win your case.

Tony worked with Jarvis and the compound security department to pull surveillance footage of any and all instances that could be used against Harvey in the court of law. Luckily, Steve was good at his job and thought one step ahead of everyone else, so he had recorded the date and approximate times of every single incident you had come to him for. That helped tremendously in pulling evidence.

Bucky, Sam, Nat, Steve, Commander Bennett and a few other Agents from your old recruit group came forward as your witnesses, and character witness. Their support meant more to you than anything else.

Nat also shared her best advice with you over plenty of lunches together, and even went shopping with you for clothes to wear for the three day long trial. The long week of preparation usually ended with dinners at your place every night, a double date of sorts with Bucky, Nat, and Steve.

All of the other Avengers supported the cause by holding down the fort so everyone else could focus on the trial.

Oh, and you had a really good lawyer.

Three long days of back and forth arguing was exhausting and emotionally taxing at best. At the very root of it, trying to get somebody you used to love in jail was devastating. He was your first love, and part of you knew that regardless of what he put you through, you'd always hold just a small piece of that love for him.

More surface level, and even though your issues with Harvey began way before your budding romance with Steve, you felt terrible that he was engaged with and had to clean up so much of this mess your ex boyfriend had made. It was also unexpectedly embarrassing to have to stand in front of a courtroom filled with your teammates, friends, and family where they all had to listen to the endless list of all the bad things that have happened to you at the hands of this man.

At the end of each day you just wanted to cry and be alone for a while. Making your way up to the rooftop after taking off your make up and business attire, you'd ignore everyone's attempts at trying to make you feel better and just spend some time with the stars.

Being faced head on with all the shit that was thrown at you, you couldn't help but to wonder if you should've made better choices. If you had done anything differently, maybe you would've never had to endure all the pain. You even wondered if you should be apologizing to your parents who were now hearing the true extent of your hardship.

Your dad was getting old, and your Mom was a worry wart. It wasn't good for either of them to hear any of the details, or see the close up pictures of your injured body. If he could, your dad would've killed him in one clean sweep and hid the body somewhere not even the avengers could find if he had the chance. Your sister and brother in law would do even worse than that, and you could only hope Luca would never grow up to learn about any of this and think anything less than you.

Because to him, and the rest of the world, you're a superhero now. So you found the strength to feel all your feelings after court, brush them off, then wake up the next morning to do it all again.

The last day was probably the worst. When the judge deemed Harvey guilty and sentenced him to 8 years, you should've been happy to see him getting taken away in handcuffs.

You should've been smiling, hugging, and celebrating like all of your loved ones behind you. The justice should've brought you peace, but all it did was bring tears to your eyes.

Especially as the police officers walked him right past you as they cleared the court for the final time.

"Happy?" Harvey asked you in passing. "This is what you always wanted huh?"

"I never wanted this." You stated clearly, and sadly. "Unfortunately your own actions led you here, it never had to be this way. I hope you learn a valuable lesson, and I wish you nothing but what you deserve in the future."

"You're fucking insane." He practically spat in your face. "You did this to me."

"You did this to yourself." You swallowed a lump in your throat.

Those were your final words to him before he was taken away, and you were swallowed by the arms of people who truly loved you.

In the hallways of the city courthouse, you were told by Steve, Nat, Bucky, and Sam that they passed a new regulation in the compound. It was called "The 306 policy" clearly stating that any bullying coming from any employee working for the avengers was now to be taken seriously with zero tolerance. No more strikes, no more warnings. Furthermore, if that bullying had to do with gender, sexuality, or race, they would be put under dishonorable discharge to ensure a bumpy life and career ahead.

After properly thanking everyone who put forth their time and effort to help, you got home and took a very very long nap, ate a big meal, took a hot shower, then put your AirPods on and went on a walk.

Stopping by a few shops and grabbing a few different special surprises, your mind felt so much clearer. A quick stop home, then you found yourself walking into Steve's apartment with said surprises in hand.

Given the time and the fact that it was already pretty late, you found Steve exactly where you expected him to be at 9:30 pm on a Friday night. On the couch with a movie he wasn't paying attention to playing on the TV, and his sketchbook and pencil in hand.

Not expecting you to want company tonight, Steve looked up at you with a confused look on your face when he saw you approach with flowers and a brown paper bag.

"Oh, hi love bug." Steve grinned contently, sitting up a bit and closing his sketch book and setting it down to give you his full attention.

"Hi, sorry, hope it's okay that I stopped by." You said while approaching him.

"It's always okay" Steve smiled and stuck his arms out for you. You set the flowers and the bag down on the coffee table before giving him a hug and a kiss. "What's up? How are you doing."

"Better, I know it's been a long week and I feel like I've been neglecting you a bit, and i'm sorry." You explained, watching his face soften. "I just wanted to spend some time with you. I brought us ice cream, and I got you flowers as a small token of appreciation for everything you've done for me. Not only this week, but my whole career here."

"You got me flowers?" He questioned with puppy dog pouted lips and furrowed brows.

"Mhm" You nodded, "I don't know what your favorite flowers are but these ones reminded me of you."

A sigh left his nose and his lips stayed pouted as he kept his eyes glued to the bouquet on the table. "Nobody has ever gotten me flowers before, that's so nice."

Sitting down next to him, you threw your arms loosely around his neck and rested your head against his. His arm quickly found the curve of your hip and rested there. You happily closed your eyes and enjoyed the embrace of the soldier.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I love them." Steve pressed a kiss to your temple. "But I hope you know I understand, and I don't feel neglected."

"Even if that's the case, I just want you to know how much I care about you."

"I know, I can feel it!" He reassured you, "I feel very secure, I never doubt your love and care for me."

A grin took control of your calm face. "Thank you for communicating so clearly, that takes away so much mental weight."

Steve giggled. "Will you communicate what kind of ice cream you got, and if I need to get up to get spoons?"

"Your favorite, vanilla with salted caramel ribbons. Spoons are in the bag."

"I can't believe this is how you treat me and everyone expected me to not fall head over heels?" He questioned, reaching in the bag and pulling out the pint.

You let go of him and got comfortable on the couch, crossing your legs underneath you and facing Steve. He handed you a spoon, and put half his blanket over your lap before popping the lid to the pint open.

Neither of you wasted any time before digging your spoons in. "Cheers?" Steve lifted his spoon.

You grinned. "To you, thank you for supporting me through a lot of bullshit."

"No" Steve denied, shaking his head with an even gentler smile. "To your peace of mind, getting the justice you deserve, and being brave enough to see the greener grass."

Too excited to eat ice cream to scold him for making this about you, you put the spoon in your mouth anyways. Both of you exhaled gloriously at the same time, it was so unfortunately delicious that you knew the entire pint stood no chance of survival.

"So, what are your big plans now that you finally get some peace and quiet?" Steve questioned.

"Well first thing tomorrow morning I'm going to go on a run on the outdoor track with my AirPods on, something I've been too scared to do for a while now." You noted. "Then I'll get some paperwork done from that mission we went on that I've been way too busy to touch, and after that I'll probably text Captain America to see if he wants to hang out and get dinner or something."

"Ooh, I bet he'll say yes." Steve perked up. "He told me he really wants to ask you out to get Dim Sum with him, something about a real date... but I'm not too sure. I think he was nervous about giving you some time to process everything that happened this week. So, you asking him to hang out would definitely make him happy."

"Mmm" You smiled, swallowing the ice cream in your mouth. "Well, if he needs any reassurance I would probably tell Cap that I don't need any more time to process because I learned a really valuable lesson recently."

Steve's heart started to increase in speed as these conversations always made him a bit anxious, which is why he tended to avoid them in the first place. "What would that be?"

"More time and a romantic night with candles and soup dumplings isn't going to do anything to change how I feel about you." You grinned, scooping more ice cream onto your spoon. "Whether we're in our pajamas eating ice cream together on the couch or dressed to the nines at some random charity event eating caviar, I'm just happy to be with you. This is a real date to me."

"While I agree completely," Steve giggled as a drop of melted ice cream landed on the back of your hand and you licked it off. "I have to say, if this is a date then now I'm a little nervous."

"That implies that if we were on a date, there is something you would do differently that's making you feel nervous." You raised your eyebrow, questioning his intentions.

"First of all, I'd be the one bringing you flowers. I'd probably brush my hair first and maybe not wear... this."

"But you look so handsome like that!" You argued. "And there's already flowers here so we both benefit."

"I'd also spend the whole night with sweaty palms just wondering if you were having fun or if I was acting a little weird on accident"

You smiled at his words. "I'm always having fun with you, and you're always a little bit weird. It's part of your charm. It's fun!"

"Then at the end of the night if you seemed like you had a good time and I hadn't yet scared you off I would be even more nervous because then I wouldn't know what to do." Steve shrugged. "Especially if this was a date. Because for a while now I've been meaning to ask you if I could be your boyfriend, but of course if I did that now it would just be terrible timing."

"Terrible timing?" Your head tilted sideways a bit.

"Because anticipating the answer to that question would make me incredibly nauseous, and I'm eating ice cream so adding dairy into that mix just wouldn't be pretty."

"Ah" You slowly nodded in understanding. "Okay, so I just won't answer that then. So there's absolutely no anticipation, no nausea, just ice cream."

Steve slowly leaned back until the arm of the couch dug into his spine, and he rid his spoon of the ice cream still on it. "Thanks, it also really helps with that feeling." He placed his hand over his sternum. "You know? That really awful one where it's like your heart is sitting in the pit of your stomach? Like it's trying to tell you it's in danger but really everything is fine."

"Everything is totally fine." You laughed as you watched him take a deep breath. "You asked the question and I didn't runaway screaming. The earth is still spinning, and you still have twinkles in your eyes so, yeah, really it is fine."

"I'm dying slowly and painfully." Steve whispered.

Reaching out and grabbing his hand, you pulled him back up. "Never in a million years would I ever say no to that."

"Are you sure?" His puppy dog eyes came right back. "I could've done this much better."

"You know, for about 99% of everything in my life I can see a benefit and a disadvantage. Maybe a flaw or a drawback that stops me from fully enjoying something for what it is." You explained. "But you? You're the only thing I've ever been 100% sure of. I don't need anything more convincing than this, this is already the best. Nothing could better."

Steve's posture relaxed, and he squeezed your hand. "I'm speechless."

"Speechless, or perhaps all your energy is focusing on making sure your internal organs are going back to normal." You giggled. "No throw up! I'm so proud!"

"My face probably reads very differently, but I swear I'm really happy right now."

You leaned forward and kissed him. His lips tasted just as sweet as his personality which made it even harder to pull away. But when the need to breathe got too dire, your foreheads stayed connected.

"I'm Steve Rogers girlfriend." You spoke, the statement felt foreign and undeserving on your tongue. "Man oh man, how did this happen?"

"It's a really long story." Steve smiled. "Is this a good time to tell you that your dad invited me over for dinner next Tuesday?"

"Of course he did" you sighed, kissing him one more time before pulling away. "My dad didn't even invite me over for dinner next Tuesday."

"Trust me, he's going to." Steve smiled. "You have a really cool family. I hope it's okay that I said yes."

"That's fine." You giggled. "But you do understand that my dad probably hasn't realized we're dating?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Steve nodded with a smile.

"And you understand that my mom definitely knows?" You questioned again. "And it's not just going to be them two? Luca will definitely be there, and he will definitely be bothering you the whole time."

"That's the fun part!" He enthused.

"Okay." You smiled, raising your hands up in defense. "If you know what you're in for, and you still think it sounds fun then knock yourself out by all means."

Before Tuesday rolled around, Steve was thankful that neither of you got called onto missions so he could have the opportunity to romance you the way you deserved. He was also thankful that you already agreed to be his girlfriend so he could actually relax and enjoy your time together without being too terribly anxious about what was to happen next.

Just as promised, the two of you went to that fancy dim sum restaurant you couldn't get enough of, better outfits, more flowers, a lovely stroll along the water, city lights, then he asked you that dreaded question again. This time more confidently, and once more you agreed to let him be your boyfriend, and reassured him that you loved the way he asked you the first time. But, this was lovely too and you appreciated the gesture. The night wrapped up with snuggles and a movie while you happily waited for Steve to move things along at his own pace.

You did eventually get invited to that Tuesday night dinner with your parents, and that also went really well. Steve seemed really comfortable and very relaxed around your family, even more so than you expected. Of course Steve was a personable, well rounded, and easily adaptable man. You knew he could handle a lot more than you ever could, but admittedly, your mother greeting him with a big ol' kiss on the cheek immediately followed by getting tackled by Luca and Rocket at the same time was a bit more than you expected.

A big cheeky smile remained on his face the whole time he was there, and the whole long drive back home. He even fell asleep holding you in his arms with a grin on his face, happy and content as could be.

Then, the day after that and the next few days to follow, he started acting.... uncharacteristically. He got quieter, started hanging around everyone less, and working out more.

You asked him a few times if there was something wrong, and each attempt was met with a different variation of the fact that he was okay, and everything was fine.

But your levels of concern peaked when you left your apartment for team board game night. The whole team put on their fanciest pajamas, brought their favorite snacks and drinks, and gathered to play all their favorite games. Immediately the whole group asked you where Steve was, you shrugged it off and assumed that maybe he was still getting some work done and he would join as soon as he was done.

Two rounds of mancala, and a painfully long round of catan, you couldn't ignore the lack of Steve any longer. Politely excusing yourself, you made your way through the compound in your matching pajama set, socks, and ugg slippers to Steve's office just to open the door and find it empty. Making it all the way back to the Avengers sector, you quietly knocked on Steve's door before entering his apartment.

He looked like a deer in headlights as you entered his living room while he scrambled to wipe freshly fallen tears off his face to further pretend like everything was still fine.

Though you've gotten pretty close, you've never really seen him cry before. In an instant your heart nearly strained itself to death as it felt like the saddest sight you've ever seen, the you wondered if this is how he felt every time he saw tears on your cheeks.

"Oh, sweet boy." You pouted walking towards him, no longer interested in giant jenga.

"Sorry," He sniffled, running a hand through his messy hair. "I'll be out in a few minutes, I'm just- I need a minute. You don't have to stay... you should go hang out with them."

"What's wrong, Stevie?" You sat next to him on the couch and immediately pulled him into a big hug, the kind that you never want to let go from. Warm, tight, comforting, and your hand cradled the back of his head while the other rubbed his back. "And don't say you're fine again because you're obviously not."

"You're so beautiful" He cried into your shoulder.

"And you're very handsome, but that doesn't fix the problem." His compliment made you giggle despite feeling sad for him. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No." He immediately shook his head before lifting it off your shoulder so he could look at your face. "Not at all. This is not your fault, I've just been having a hard week."

You sighed and looked deeply into his big ol' puppy dog eyes. "Then who do I need to beat up?"

"Violence is not the answer, sweetie."  A genuine smile reached his teary eyes.

"It could be." You proposed.

"It doesn't have to be." He reassured you. "Contrary to popular belief, I am fine. Nobody did anything bad to me. I just needed some time to process my feelings."

"Your feelings about what, Stevie?"

It took a lot of courage for Steve to be vulnerable with you. The only other time he ever let a pretty girl see him cry before was Peggy right after Bucky fell off the train, and even then, she wasn't carefully wiping tears off his cheeks and looking at him with such kind and concerned eyes. You were melting him into a pile of goo, and he couldn't even help but to feel comforted in your presence even though he usually found moments like these to be wildly uncomfortable.

"I really loved hanging out with your family. Genuinely, it was the best time I've had in a while." Steve started, setting the record straight.

But even then, your face morphed into a cringe. "Oh god, what did my Dad say to you?"

"No, nothing." Once again, you had him giggling. "Your Dad is great, and your Mom might just be an actual angel on earth. Even Jane... it's just- the way they treated me like a normal human being that night was something I haven't experienced since I got the serum. I think it's just made me miss what life was like before all of this." He motioned to his body.

Your eyes went from concerned to just sad for him.

"It's stupid" Steve shook his head, and wiped more tears off his cheeks.

"No it's not." You denied. "Everything in your life changed. I think craving and missing the comfort of simplicity isn't stupid at all. I'm not even two hours away from my family and some days I'm so home sick it's all I can think about. I can't even imagine what that feeling must be like for you."

Steve took a deep breath, trying really hard to regulate his emotions and ground himself. Your physical touch, and comforting words was working wonders. "Sometimes thinking back to how I used to be gives me this weird sense that this body isn't even mine. I almost felt stronger and more at home when I could barely breathe or my heart could barely handle me standing up too fast. Now I kind've feel like a baby giraffe learning how to walk for the first time." He giggled at his own analogy, earning your grin despite your sadness oh his behalf. "I know sometimes it's awkward and weird to observe from the outside but inwardly, I'm trying my best."

"I've always thought you to be incredibly graceful" You admitted. "It probably feels worse than it looks. But truthfully, I've always admired pretty much everything about you."

“You're too sweet." Steve grinned. "Like I said, I'll be fine. I just miss my Mom... and Bucky's family. His little sister was great. I also miss feeling normal, and this one park I used to go to study when I was in art school that's now an apartment building."

"Well, I know this won't fix much but if it's any consolation my family loves you and they love having you around. It's also apparent to me that they like treating you like a normal person, probably to a fault. You'll always have a place to go if you need to feel some good old fashioned family love and get away from all of this." You reminded him. "I can't promise that Luca will ever stop asking you to sign his captain America posters, but I'm sure he'll run out of unsigned ones soon enough."

"I like signing his posters." Steve sniffled with a smile.

"You know he asked me to do show and tell at his school next week?" You asked. "Not because he wants me to show something, but because he wants to show me off. The poster thing is totally normal."

"If it weren't for public scrutiny, I'd want to show you off too."

"Now you're the one that's too sweet." You grinned. "I'm sorry you're feeling so sad, Stevie. For what it's worth, I love you a lot and you'll always be normal to me."

You wrapped your arms around him again, but this time he squeezed you tighter and pulled you onto his lap just to feel you closer. The weight of you on him helped his body further relax, and he loved the way you cradled his head and kissed his temple a few times in the process of getting comfortable. It was really hard to think about the sadness when all he could feel when you were around was happy and incredibly grateful.

"I love you too" Steve's tears came to an end with his body closely squished against yours.

Your hands carefully cupped his cheeks and tilted his head to look up at you. Looking right into your big, kind eyes momentarily before you closed them and pressed your lips to his gave him uncontrollable butterflies.

They traveled all the way up and down his body as your tongue mingled with his, and his brain buzzed as his lips swelled. His heart felt just as frail as it did when he was that 90 pound kid with arrhythmia when you pulled away for air and opened your eyes again. They were still big and kind, but they were also just as dilated as his, and your heartbeat was just as fast.

But you knew better than to keep it going, you knew that no matter what happened, you'd never be comfortable going any further with Steve if he wasn't comfortable as well.

So rather than continuing to make out with him, your thumbs rubbed his cheeks, and you left kissed on his forehead, nose, and one quick one on his lips to make up for the sad loss. "I'd also like to remind you that you have a whole family right outside this door that wants to play Scrabble with you."

Steve couldn't ignore his love and deep attraction to you anymore. He was already in a state of vulnerability, and he desperately needed to keep you close to him. "I don't think I care too much about using my words right now."

That sentence was enough to turn your very controlled love and warmth into fire. An eyebrow raised in genuine surprise at his boldness. "We can use as many or as little words as you'd like, but that's up to you, Honey. You're going to have to set the pace on this one."

In an instant, his lips were right back on yours with even more fire and hunger than before. As the heat amped up, your fingers slid through his hair, and his hands slipped up the back of your shirt. You got lost in your own head for a few moments, overly conscious of the fact that he could feel the difference in texture between your skin and the huge scar on running down your spine.

Those thoughts escaped you as his hands assisted you in readjusting. Rather than sitting sideways, you threw your legs to the side of his and straddled him instead. As the lust progressed and both of your hearts were beating in rhythm, you could now feel that Steve wanted you just as bad as you wanted him, but like he said, his body sometimes didn't feel like him. You didn't feel right without reassurance that his heart and mind wanted this just as much.

It seems as though he was on the same page as you, because he pulled away slightly just to get some oxygen into what might as well have been his still asthmatic lungs considering you were making him feel that familiar sting. But he also wanted to check in on you.

"Is this what you want?" Steve asked, the ever so lovely twinkles returning to his pretty blue eyes.

You grinned and pecked his lips. "Of course this is what I want, but I want you to be sure too. I know this is important to you, and I look to you for guidance in a lot of situations. So if you think this is the right time for you, then there's no doubt for me."

Steve's hands traveled up and down your back, massaged the small of your waist, and acclimated you to his hands on your bare skin while you had this conversation. You searched his face for honesty just as deeply as he studied yours. He could tell you meant every word, but you spotted a glimpse of doubt.

"Tell me about your hesitance." You told him with a welcoming expression as your hands massaged the back of his neck.

Steve sighed and hung his head low before picking it back up again. "Sometimes I still feel awful about what I did to you. There was a point where your trust in me was at a zero percent, and I don't think i've forgiven myself enough to believe it'll ever be back at 100"

"Steve, no." Your brows furrowed, genuinely shocked by the words coming out of his mouth. "What? Thats not even remotely a concern, nor something I ever think about anymore."

"I think about it every day." He admitted, maybe too honestly. But he knew he wouldn't be able to enjoy himself if this conversation wasn't had.

"My trust in you is 110 percent." Your hands found his cheeks again, angling his head so he had no choice but to look you in the eye when you told him. "What happened that day was a mistake. It was a misunderstanding, it was bad communication between the two of us, and the result of that was really unfortunate. I was harsh because I was in a very bad situation, but I never thought any less of you for it. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and we can talk about this as many times as you need until you feel better about it. But I know you had no malicious intent."

Steve nodded in understanding. "My only hesitation right now is making sure that you're confident, and you trust me enough."

"I trust you more than I trust myself, and I mean that." You kissed him and rocked your hips forward. "If my life was on the line and I had to choose between you or myself to save it, I would choose you."

He attached his lips to yours this time. More passion, more fire, more brave roaming hands.

"And if I get to choose between board games or a night with you, I choose you." You continued between desperate kissing and heavy petting. "I'll always choose you over anything else. Besides, if you think it's impossible for me to trust you this much yet, then you must know that trust is earned and the only way to earn it is through your actions. So maybe, for you to feel better you need to give me all the more reason to trust you."

"I can't tell if you're a terrible influence or a really good one." He practically whimpered into your mouth. "I love you so much, being with you is where I’ve always felt the most comfortable.”

“Then let’s get even more comfortable with each other." You reassured him. "And I'll show you just how much of a home you can turn this body of yours into. Because I love you too, and we both deserve to be happy."

He smiled before kissing your forehead, then your lips before making his way to your jaw, down your neck into your collarbone, and the last thought you could even formulate before he captured all your senses was that even just by the way his hands held you, and his lips nipped at your collar bones was that there was a whole other side to this man that you never got to know, and you were absolutely in for it now.

And in for it you were, because even though he was all kinds of sweet, gentle, and loving, he was also incredibly sexy and attentive. Though your sexual experiences in life was pretty low, he blew everything you thought you knew out of the water. You didn’t even know it was possible for your body to feel the way that it did, or to even be as attracted to a person the way you were to Steve.

Even when all was said and done, he didn’t hesitate to hold your body close to his as you both caught your breath, exchanged affirmations and a few jokes just to hear your sweet laugh.

With his arms snug around your naked frame, and his fingers drawing shapes into your arm, he continued placing sweet kisses to the top of your head. It made you realize how the icky feeling you usually got never arrived. No regrets, no doubts, no mean voices in your head telling you that you weren’t good enough, pretty enough, or skilled enough.

It was just you, Steve, and a warmth in your heart that took over the former butterflies. There was his raspy voice rambling something to make you smile, which always worked, then there was some very comfortable silence.

An overwhelming sense of gratitude for Steve washed over you like a wave as you realized how happy and confident you felt in this very moment. No rushing to cover up, no feeling of anxiety or worry. A few months ago you could barely even imagine a word in which eating breakfast wasn’t an impossible task. Now, you were excited for the night because for once, that meant tomorrow was even closer, and tomorrow was going to be a really good day. You had no specific plans, but that was the fun part, you no longer needed a good thing to happen for you to have a good day. Tomorrow could just be, and that was good enough.

You could’ve cried right then and there, you also could’ve blamed the huge rush of hormones and endorphins for making you so emotional and gushy, but the fact of the matter was that all you could think about was how happy you are.

How happy Steve made you. How lucky you were to be excited for tomorrow.

Steve grinned when he looked down at you. Cuddled up to his side, head on his chest, absentmindedly looking at your hand that was rubbing his stomach. You traced the peaks and valleys of his muscles, completely lost in thought.

“What are you thinking about?” Steve asked quietly, his smile winding as you came back to earth and looked up at him.

You knew your deep inner thoughts might’ve brought up memories of harder times even though you were nothing but happy, and you really didn’t want to keep bringing up the past. So instead of being completely truthful, you focused on making newer, happier memories.

“Honestly?” You questioned, propping yourself up on your arm so you could see his face better and moving your hand up to his chest to draw a heart over his. “It’s just-“

“Wait now I’m scared.” Steve cut you off, causing you to giggle.

“Everyone was always so sure that sleeping with you meant better job opportunities, but it’s been almost 15 minutes now and I haven’t even been offered a promotion.” You joked, knowing he’d take it lightly.

“You’re stupid!” His belly laugh confirmed it, “You’re already at the highest rank, my dear. I don’t have anything left to offer you!”

“Damn it!” You pretended to be disappointed, big smile scrunched the corners of your eyes. “If I knew it would be this fun I would’ve done this months ago.”

“It’s a lot easier than all the training, huh?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know about that, I’m kind’ve exhausted.” You joked.

“Well, we all learn from our mistakes.” He smiled. “Now you know for next time.”

“That, we do.” You agreed, relaxing into him once more. “Maybe this really is what we should’ve been going in the training room all this time, I think it’s just as good of a work out.”

Steve gasped. “There’s cameras and windows in there!”

“Oh right, you’re very shy.” You poked his chest.

“Hey!” He caught your hand and tangled your fingers together with his. “Don’t be mean to me!”

“I’m not being mean, I think that’s very cute.” You kissed his pec. “Even cuter now that I’ve seen all of you and I know for a fact there’s absolutely nothing for you to be shy about.”

“Ooh!” He lit up. “Hey remember that one time a long time ago when I saw you naked?”

“How could I ever forget?” You laughed at his question. “Is it my turn to be scared?”

“No, I just wanted to say that I think you’re very beautiful.” He smiled. “I thought that back then too, but who was I to tell you that? So I’m telling you now to make up for it.”

“Okay that’s not so bad. Thank you, twinkles.”

“Mhm” He hummed.

More comfortable silence, more basking in his body heat and skin to skin contact.

“Do you think they’re still waiting for you to play scrabble?” You questioned quietly.

“I think they got the hint by now” Steve smiled, lifting the back of your hand to his mouth to kiss it.

Once again, silence.

“Wait…” Steve spoke. “I think I might actually have a job opportunity for you. What are you doing on May 20th?”

“Celebrating. That’s the first day of Gemini season” You recalled, amused by the serendipity.

Before you knew it, the moon said goodbye to the sun over and over again for months until Monday morning rolled around just like it always seemed to do.

Your combat boots squeezed against the floor beneath you as you walked down the hallway to the agent training room. As you walked, you caught a glimpse of your reflection in a big glass window pane. Your avengers uniform suited you more and more every time you wore it with pride, and you were even more proud that Steve was in his suit walking right behind you.

With a deep breath, you opened the door to the training room and Steve followed in behind you. You were greeted with a new batch of rookies in their agent uniforms, all standing tall in a neat, straight line.

Their eyes all on Commander Bennett as he beamed the moment you walked into the room. As unprofessional as it might have been, he couldn’t even help but to give you a hug as you approached, and you were happy to do so.

You faced the agents, Commander Bennett on your right and Steve on your left created your own line.

“Hello, Agents.” Steve greeted the line. “Congratulations on making it this far into your training.”

Your eyes scanned the line, and you couldn’t help but to remember when that used to be you, and how intimidating it felt to meet Steve for the first time.

“As you all know, this is Captain Rogers.” Bennett introduced. “But more importantly, this is Agent 306. Our newest Avenger, and the highest ranking agent to ever be trained in all of shield’s history.”

“Hi everyone.” You smiled, hoping to ease their tension. “It’s nice to meet you all. From here on out I’ll be in charge of assisting Commander Bennett in furthering your expertise and knowledge, hopefully turning you all into even better agents than the last group.”

“Though this is usually a task I take on myself,” Steve further explained. “It’s never been more apparent to me that you deserve to learn from the best of the best, and the best hands are her’s. I’ll be here to help out when you guys need it. Im here for extra support when you may need, and some extra oversight on hectic days but trust me when I say you are all very lucky that 306 agreed to this.”

If the two of you weren’t trying to hard to keep your relationship private, his words would’ve made you smile.

“We’re going to start by going down the line, and learning your names and assigned numbers.” You addressed the group again. Carefully scanning their faces, you couldn’t help but to feel pure joy in your heart when you saw a whole lot of women staring right back at you. You were hopeful, and happy knowing this experience would be so much easier for them than it was for you. “After we greet you please feel free to start warming up for your first lesson, we have about two hours together today. And three hours together for four days a week for the foreseeable future.”

“Yep, so maybe even chit chat with the people around you. Take some deep breaths, release your tension, and get to know each other, because we’re about to spend a lot of time together.” Steve agreed, happy to implement your suggestions on creating a happier and healthier work environment. “Look around at the people in this room and build the foundations of a strong, tight knit community. These are now the people you need to be looking out for. You guys live together, work together, train together, so the most important thing for you to do, is build trust.”

“This journey will be difficult, and tiring no matter how effortless you can make it look. But believe that it’ll be a lot easier if you enjoy everyone you’re on the journey with.” You agreed with Steve. “That being said, Captain Rogers and I are here to lift you up and support you through just as much as Commander Bennett, so please feel free to come to us with whatever you may need.”

“Alright, let’s get started.” Bennett ordered. “Agents, tactile formation remains until after you are greeted. Eyes forward, shoulders back.”

Steve looked at you, pride smeared all across his face. “You ready?” He held his hand up for a high five.

“Now more than ever.” You slapped your hand against his.

⋆｡°✩ The end ✩ °｡⋆

Though this is the end of the series, I’m always happy to write your requests for bug and sparkles 💞🌟

Tag list: @saranghaey @firephotogrl74 @selella @talesofadragon @ss28 @nekoannie-chan @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @spikeluv84 @crazyunsexycool @callmissrogers @xxxalicerogersxx @whore-for-chris-evans @em8rin @mulbsstuff @qalijahbydior @awkotaco24 @buckybarnessimpp @nicoline1998enilocin @buckystevelove @rogersbarber @mybuck @dbnightingale24 @ynstark @sincerelytlh @alexakeyloveloki @mrsevans90 @smhnxdiii @claralovescaptainamerica @hisredheadedgoddess28 @bigtreefest @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 16, Unaccompanied - Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,

Word Count: 881

Previously On...: You were juuuuust about to leave for your first mission with Bucky, but have been felled by a nasty stomach bug, leaving Bucky to go off on the mission alone :(

A/N: Fuck it! I'm in a generous mood!

Dun, dun, DUN! NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when I update, please enable notifications from my Blog page!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

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You woke up a few hours later. You felt a bit better, but an all encompassing fatigue still settled over your body. You stretched and grabbed your phone to check the time. Glancing at your phone’s screen, you saw you had multiple missed calls from Bucky, and text messages asking you to call him back as soon as you could.

Concerned, you hit the button to dial him back. He picked up immediately.

“Baby,” he breathed, sounding relieved. “I am so sorry, I have no idea how this happened, but I swear, I had nothing to do with it. I was fully prepared to go by myself, but—”

“Bucky,” you interrupted, “what are you talking about?”

“Fucking Carthage,” he seethed, and you could feel his anger through the phone. “She’s on the Quinjet with me. I told Steve I was fine going alone, but I set the autopilot for takeoff and she was just there. I’m so sorry, sweets. I know you got no reason to believe me, but I didn’t ask for this. I don’t want this. She’s the last person I want to be trapped in this bird with, let alone on a mission with. I locked myself in the fucking cockpit just to keep her the hell away from me.”

Your stomach dropped, but you could hear the anxiety and rage in his voice, and maybe you were stupid, but you truly believed this had taken him by as much surprise as it had taken you. “It’s okay, baby,” you told him after you’d taken a breath, not realizing you’d let the endearment slip through. “I believe you; it’s not your fault.”

“I promised you I’d cut her out,” he bemoaned. “This makes me a fucking piece of shit all over again, and I hate it. I hate what it must be doing to you right now. I’m so sorry.”

You were feeling nauseous again, though from your stomach bug or the current situation, you weren’t quite sure. “You can’t help this, Buck. It’s beyond your control, I get that. I really do. I know I can’t expect you to ignore her while you’re on a mission together. You don’t have to worry about breaking your promise to me right now, okay? It’s extenuating circumstances.”

“I’ll only talk to her about mission-related shit,” he promised. “I’ll ignore everything else, I swear.”

“Yeah,” you said, running a hand through your hair. “Yeah, that’s good. We can work with that, Buck. It’s okay; we can get through this.

“I’m so sorry, Pocket.” Bucky’s voice was mournful. “It’s another promise I made to you that I’m not keeping. 

You talked to him for a while longer, reassuring him you didn’t blame him for the current state of affairs, and that you weren’t going to hold any contact he needed to have with her against him. Occasionally, you could hear Jade pounding on the cockpit door, and Bucky would shout that, if it wasn’t about the mission, he didn’t want to hear it. 

After about an hour and a half, Bucky swore softly. “I’m sorry, sweets– looks like we’re heading into a storm. I’m gonna have to take the jet off autopilot and fly her manual til we’re through it.”

“Yeah, of course, Buck,” you said, knowing he was telling you he had to hang up. “Text me when you land, okay?”

“‘Course, doll,” he said, and you could hear him smile into the phone. “I’ll be doin’ everything in my power to get this mission over as soon as possible.”

“Just come home to me safe and sound, Barnes,” you told him. “That’s the important thing.” 

“Always,” he said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Hey, Buck?” you asked, before he had a chance to hang up. “I love you, okay? So much.” You still did, despite everything, and you wanted him to know it.

“I don’t deserve you, sweetheart,” he said, “but I love you, too. More than anything.”

You said your goodbyes and were left in the quiet of your room. You needed to have a conversation with Tony, but before you set out to find him, you had one burning question you needed answered.

“Hey FRIDAY?” you called.

“Yes, Ms. (Y/L/N)?” came the disembodied Irish voice.

“Why didn’t you alert me when Sergeant Barnes and Ms. Carthage interacted aboard the Quinjet?” you asked.

“You asked for all interactions within the Tower,” FRIDAY replied. “The Quinjet does not technically meet the parameters of your request and thus was not included.”

You rolled your eyes. Of course the AI would get caught up in semantics. “Okay, fine. Adjust the parameters of the request to include any and all interactions occurring between the two on the Quinjet, as well,” you requested. 

The AI agreed, and you let out a sigh. You felt terrible about essentially spying on Bucky, but the truth was, you still didn’t fully trust him again. You wanted to, more than anything, but you just couldn’t. You hated what you had become, what the situation, his actions, had turned you into. If you were the kind of girl who believed in a higher power, you’d be praying to any deity who would listen that this mission would be over before your anxiety got the best of you.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 52 – DAILY THEMES

WORKSKINS & FORMATTING

An Avengers Powerpoint Party by gogglor

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 4,769 Tags: Avengers Tower, Humor, Team Bonding

Summary: The Avengers threw a Powerpoint Party. These are their slides.

Reasons why I love it: This is the best thing I've read in a long time, holy shit, it's so good! The whole fic is hilarious from start to finish and suits each character to a fucking T, but the last chapter with Steve's powerpoint really takes the cake, especially the beginning, oh my god, I was laughing so hard. Definitely check this one out, because it's my new favorite thing.

Sex v. Work Performance - A Self-Study by Tony Stark by FestiveFerret

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 1,039 Tags: Spreadsheets as Foreplay, Crack, Tony Tracks Everything

Summary: Hmm... Looks like you've accidentally wandered into some of Tony's private files. Wonder what this one could be? Maybe you should give it a little click and find out...

Reasons why I love it: This is such a cool idea! I can practically hear Tony’s voice in my head with every line in the spreadsheet, it feels so TONY to want to gather data on anything and everything, even his sex life. Plus, the underlying romance is super sweet, and the ending made me laugh out loud. Definitely check this one out if you haven’t, and while you’re at it, also take a look at the other fics Ferret wrote for the Steve Tony Games, because they’re all amazing.

explosive by imaginestevetony

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 0 (Images) Tags: Crashing Twitter, Daily Bugle, Social Media

Summary: One of the times that Tony and Steve broke Twitter.

Reasons why I love it: Steve and Tony absolutely WOULD crash the internet like this, and I am here for it. I love how the whole world is eating the information out of their palms to spread gossip, and Steve just drops the bomb of the century on them like it’s nothing. This fic is fantastic, and I really hope you go and check it out for yourself!

see it with the lights out by astrhae

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 1,855 Tags: Established Relationship, Instagram, Married Life

Summary: Tony goes on a business trip, and he does not - not at all - get jealous of Dodger hogging his husband's chest, a territory otherwise known as Tony's pillow. (or, Steve goes on an Instagram spree and Tony misses home)

Reasons why I love it: I love all of the picture choices here, it really feels like a look into Steve and Tony's life. And the way Steve dispels Tony's jealousy and homesickness is so fricking sweet, it made my heart melt into a puddle of goo. Definitely check this one out, it's amazing!

Caught Up in Our Stories by gogglor

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 41,203 (30-35k without formatting) Tags: Multiple Genres, Magic, Idiots in Love

Summary: “Tony, listen to me," said Steve. "This isn’t you. You’re not a PI, you’re a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist superhero. You and everyone else who lives in the tower have all been put under a spell, and you need to come with me to break it.” I suppose that’s what I get for saying I’ve heard it all before, thought Tony. -- Someone's cast a spell on Avengers Tower that has changed each floor into a different kind of story, and trapped the Avengers inside. Steve mounts a rescue mission, starting with Tony Stark, PI, a noir detective who's got a thing for blonde bombshells who bring trouble to his door.

Reasons why I love it: Okay, I am declaring this fic a must-read for everyone in this fandom right now, because this is the most creative thing I’ve ever seen on AO3. I’m serious, drop whatever you’re doing and go read this fic. I was dying laughing through most of it and just staring bug-eyed at all of the different types of formatting, like – god DAMN the amount of effort it must have taken to write this makes me literally speechless. Also, I will never get over the sentence, “Once upon a midday sucky, six great heroes were unlucky”, I probably laughed at that for ten minutes straight. Anyway, if you’re going to read just one of my recs, make it this one, because it’s just that fucking good.

[penny00dreadful]

CW for this chapter on AO3

Part 1/ Part 6/ AO3

Eddie coughed out a mouthful of sand, choking on it and scrubbing it out of his eyes, squinting around, trying to catch his breath as the little grains assaulting his body slowly started to disappear, as though they were being pulled away from him.

As Eddie’s vision began to clear he saw that yes, the sand was being pulled away from him, drawn up into a swirling humanoid figure that slowly coalesced into Vecna, walking past both himself and Tommy, who was also lying in the sand.

Eddie followed Vecna’s line of sight, over the dune to a familiar ruined city, the sun high in the sky.

They were back at Hamunaptra.

And it was daytime.

The last thing Eddie remembered was being assaulted by sand in the middle of Cairo, in the middle of the night.

And now he was miles into the desert, at what looked like midday. Tommy seemed to be just as out of it as Eddie was.

What had happened to Robin? To Steve? To Ardeth? To the crowd that had been under Vecna’s thrall?

Eddie nearly laughed to himself when the thought came into his head again that he was going to murder them if they’d both gotten themselves killed. 

What was his life?

What was this complete nonsense?

While Eddie had just been standing, gawking at the ruined city in front of him and trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened, Vecna had continued to walk towards the city.

But now he had stopped, a little way ahead, turning back to them and Eddie could feel his eyes on him, beckoning him forward. 

He had just taken a step when the sound of buzzing came from behind them and Eddie had a moment of panic, thinking that he was about to be set upon by a swarm of bugs again.

But as it got closer, he recognised it as the sound of a propeller plane speeding towards them.

Though Eddie couldn’t see any details about anyone aboard, who else would be flying directly for their mysterious and hidden city out in the middle of the desert if not Steve, Robin and Ardeth?

And from the way Vecna was glaring up at them, he knew exactly who it was, as well.

Eddie was forced to watch in horror as the small and vulnerable plane flew overhead and Vecna raised his hand, calling forth a swirl of sand and wind, heading right towards them, determined to knock them from the sky.

A strike of panic went through him and he thought how he could not just stand here and fucking watch that plane crash and do nothing about it.

Eddie turned on his heel and ran, charging towards Vecna with as much speed as he could muster through the sand.

Vecna turned his head at the last second, his eyes widening in surprise as Eddie jumped, wrapping his arms and legs around him, bodily tackling him to the ground and with only a moment’s hesitation, hoping that this would work, and it had to, right? He’d spent all this time calling Eddie my love even though he was apparently a sacrifice for his partner but still.

This mummy had been chasing after him for a while, so Eddie took Vecna’s face in his hands and kissed him, hard, gripping with such force he’d be worried about injuring him if he wasn’t an undead mummy with supernatural powers who he wanted dead anyway.

So if Eddie hurt him a little? Fuck him. He could live with that.

With one open eye, Eddie craned to see the swirling mass of sand surrounding the plane, bobbing like a leaf floating on choppy waters. He saw the sand wall drop and the plane continue to putter along.

He let out a sigh of relief, sitting straight up and throwing himself off Vecna’s body, not really wanting to end up straddling the guy but his elation was short lived because the plane was still tumbling unsteadily and then it was gone. Out of sight behind a far away dune with the sound of a crash that made Eddie’s blood run cold. 

He pushed himself up from the sand, needing to get there to see, to make sure they were okay but he had only managed to take one single step before a cruel hand curled around his bicep and he was being dragged away, into the city, no amount of kicking and screaming and biting loosening Vecna's grip on him.

Into the ruins and through a maze of corridors and secret passages, Vecna’s hand remained clamped down on him, Eddie’s whole arm going numb and he knew there was going to be a violent bruise left, if he got out of here alive enough for one even to be able to form.

When Vecna finally let go, Eddie hesitated on following, trying to remember every twist and turn taken, wondering if he would be able to make a break for it and not get lost in a maze of dead ends and probable traps.

His shoulder was shoved hard and Tommy hissed at him, “Keep moving.”

Eddie whipped around, pushing himself suddenly and overbearingly into Tommy’s space, widening his eyes and baring his teeth.

“Touch me again, Hagan.” He growled, low and threatening. “I fucking dare you.”

Tommy didn’t disguise his shock fast enough. He took a step back, his throat convulsing around a swallow before he pulled his mouth back down into a frown.

But he didn’t shove Eddie again and he didn’t get any closer.

Eddie turned back to the large open chamber in front of them, eyeing the large stone altar in the centre with a sickening sinking in his gut.

He followed Vecna down the stairs, slumping a little. He’d never be able to find his way out.

As much as he had sneered at the thought of being a damsel in distress before, that was the truth of the situation now.

He just hoped it would be Robin to break him out, to do the lion's share of the saving.

Steve would never let him live it down otherwise.

Eddie stepped off the stairs, landing down on the same level as the super fucking suspicious altar, with a super suspicious pool of dark murky water surrounding them. 

There were rows of sarcophagi extending out into the chamber and while that alone would have been enough to creep Eddie the fuck out even more than he already was, the fact that he knew from his own research that these were the sarcophagi of Vecna’s priests, and that they would also be raised with him when he came to full power?

Eddie was so fucking beyond creeped out. He felt it crawling under his skin, up the back of his neck.

There was a crack in the distance, a sudden sound of a gunshot echoing through the corridors that nearly made Eddie jump out of his skin.

The only thing that stopped him from dying of a heart attack immediately was the thought that there were very few people who would be firing a gun in an enclosed ancient Egyptian ruined city and hopefully one of them was a caveman with good hair.

Something cold like dread shot up Eddie’s spine, something icy and unsettling and when he turned back to the chamber he found Vecna much closer than he had been before, looking thunderous.

He lashed a hand out, words spilling out of his mouth that Eddie couldn’t understand, coming too fast and bouncing around the room.

The lids of the sarcophagi shifted, the sound of stone grinding against stone as desiccated hands started to pull their preserved mummified bodies out of what should have been their final resting places. 

Vecna raised both arms, letting out a booming cry of:

“Kill the intruders!”

Eddie shook his head to himself.

“Fuck this.” 

He was not putting up with this nonsense any longer.

Eddie shot off towards the stairs.

He’d take his fucking chances with the booby traps.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Tommy taking his chance as well, slipping out through a side corridor and disappearing, leaving Eddie to whatever fate awaited him.

It was a lot of stairs and his legs were fucking burning but he was nearly there, if he could just—

Something snapped at his heel, nearly sending him off balance but he managed to right himself at the last second, not daring to look behind him.

He was nearly there, nearly at the top of the stairs, nearly out.

One more step.

But then he was halted, something gripping him tight around the ankle, slithering up his calf.

He was yanked back, the corner of the stairs rushing up to meet him and for a moment, everything shot bright white, pain lancing through his head before things went dark again.

There was a large stone ceiling swimming high above him as Eddie blinked himself back to consciousness.

His head was throbbing and there was a sharp pain above his eyebrow, something drying and tacky on the side of his face.

He groaned to himself, trying to pull his arms down from where they lay above his head.

But he was met with resistance, the clink clink of chains and shackles restraining his wrists. The same sound followed when he tried to move his legs, his ankles clamped tight, chained down to the four corners of the raised stone table he was laid out on.

His fucking waistcoat and shirt had been unbuttoned and the henley undershirt had been carefully cut down the middle, leaving him bare chested on top of what he knew in his bones to be a sacrificial altar.

Eddie was doing his very best not to start hyperventilating. This was so not what he had planned to do with his day and he would really rather not continue with this nonsense.

There was the low murmur of chanting around him, Vecna and his mummified priests, the ones who hadn’t been set off to dispatch Eddie’s saviours surrounded the altar, mummies kneeling and bowing as they spoke.

Eddie wasn’t going to think about it. He looked up, twisting and turning, trying to figure out a way to get the fuck out of his shackles. He turned to the side and would have shot back off the table in shock if his restraints hadn’t stopped him.

An ancient mummy had been placed down next to him, lying dried out and dead and thousands of years old only inches from himself and Jesus Christ; he was so done with all of this. 

This had to be the person Eddie was going to be sacrificed to. This had to be Vecna’s great thousand years old love that Eddie was going to be forced to give his life for.

No fucking thank you.

Eddie turned again, now trying to put all of his strength into breaking out, despite the throbbing in his head, his arm, his own all encompassing panic. It was an effort that he increased once Vecna slowly walked towards him, the Book of the Dead clutched in one hand and the puzzle box in the other.

“Listen, man.” Eddie spoke to him, his voice shaking though he tried to push through it. “This is all lovely and yes I had been hoping to be chained up at some point but it definitely wasn’t by you.”

Vecna looked down at him uncomprehending, piercing Eddie through with his bright blue eyes and slotted the opened puzzle box into the book, unlocking it.

“Robin!” Eddie practically screamed out into the empty chamber as Vecna stashed the puzzle box back into his robes and began to chant. “Steve! Now would be a great time to show up!”

His voice cracked on the last word, easily cutting through the hissed speech Vecna was giving over his prone body, way too panicked to try to understand what he was saying. 

The super suspicious pool of murky water that Eddie had spotted before began to bubble, spitting out a thick plume of dark red smoke that moved against all logic and reason, towards them.

It swirled, surrounding them, cracked through with shots of bright red like lightning before coalescing next to the table Eddie was shackled to.

There was a breathless moment where everything stopped. Eddie watched the cloud of smoke with wide, wary eyes as it hovered next to him while Vecna spoke above and he waited for something to happen.

The cloud moved towards him, slowly extending along the length of him.

And then he felt it.

The swirl of red smoke and lightning pushed its way into his body and Eddie screamed.

He felt like his blood was boiling, felt like his skin was being torn apart thread by thread; he felt the shock and pain of the lightning striking through him and the cloying thickness of the smoke suffocating him.

His whole body went tense, seizing up and he yanked at the chains harder than he had before, feeling them cut into his wrists and ankles.

He wanted to dig his fingers in, wanted to tear his skin off, pull his muscles out, anything to make this stop but he was immobilised, both by his shackles and his body's own petrified state.

He was vaguely aware of a sound bouncing around the chamber, distorting and echoing back to him and it took him far too long to recognise the sound of his own voice, the sound of his own screams of pain so loud they were reaching the ceiling high above him. 

Almost as soon as it started, it stopped. The lightning and smoke seeping out of his body and slowly filtering into the figure of the mummy lying dead next to him.

Eddie slumped down, eyes rolling and hazy, head thunking back against the stone, arms and legs lying limp and he was exhausted.

He sluggishly turned his gaze over, the mummy next to him almost mirroring his movements.

Except that while Eddie stared in momentary shocked horror, the mummy opened their mouth and screamed at him.

 “Nope!” Eddie replied a little deliriously, shaking his head and trying to worm his exhausted body as far back as he possibly could. “Nope, no, nu-uh. What the fuck, this is so creepy, why does this have to be so fucking creepy?!”

His chains stopped him because of course they did, they left him just writhing around on his sacrificial altar.

Vecna moved above him, raising a knife over his body, positioning the blade over the centre of Eddie’s bare chest, gripping tight and Eddie was out of fucking ideas.

But then something moved in his periphery.

Two somethings. 

A shadow darted from behind one statue to melt into the darkness behind another and a figure appeared at the top of the stairs Eddie’s ill-fated escape attempt had taken place on.

“Eddie!” Robin called to him, holding something glinting gold aloft. “We have the book!”

Vecna whipped around, his face enraged, knife clutched in his hand and he began to move towards the steps.

What the fuck?!

“What the fuck, Rob?!” Eddie screamed back. “Well don’t just announce it to the whole room?!”

Robin didn’t act like she’d heard him at all, continuing to shout out as loud as possible. 

“Oh no, we need a key for it!” Eddie guessed she was about two seconds away from pressing the back of her hand to her forehead and he had to suppress an eyeroll. “Oh darn. I wonder where it could be.”

“It’s in his robes! Why are you playing pretend right now, he doesn’t speak English! Just tell me what the fuck is going on!”

Something moved at his other side. 

That shape that had been skulking in the shadows forming into a blur of chestnut hair, tanned skin and moles as a khopesh was brought down on one of his chains, Eddie’s wrist still shackled but no longer tied down as Steve immediately turned his back on him, fending off the surrounding mummies leaping from their kneeling positions, their own weapons raised.

He could hear Robin’s frustrated grunt echo around him before she shouted back. “Well then tell me what I need to do with this!”

“Unlock the damn book and read the fucking words, Buckley!”

With a swing of his sword, Steve whirled around, cutting down a mummy and following the momentum through to release one of Eddie’s ankles.

When Steve twisted again, breaking through the chain holding down his other ankle, Eddie reached his hand out, snagging one of Steve’s revolvers from his chest holster and only just barely managed to cock it back and pull the trigger, sending a bullet sailing through the forehead of a mummy that had been advancing on Steve when his back was turned. 

A few short and sharp slashes later, Steve had cut down three other mummies around them, turning back to Eddie with a small twirl of his sword and a little shrug, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

Steve brought his sword down on the last chain, finally setting Eddie free. 

He took Steve’s offered hand, allowing himself to be pulled off the altar and landing unsteadily on his feet.

Steve untangled their hands, bringing his fingers up to brush Eddie’s hair lightly away from his forehead, his eyebrows pinched together in concern.

Eddie’s own brow furrowed in confusion before the pain of the action reminded him of his fall against the stairs and the sticky wetness he’d woken up with. Sticky wetness that was now flaking away in little clumps of dried blood, a deep red stain spread out over the clothes near his neck.

Steve opened his mouth but snapped it closed again at the sound of Robin’s voice carrying through a passage down to them, reciting the words on the front of the Book of Amun-Ra as she ran, Vecna stalking right behind her.

There was a crash of a chamber in front of them opening, cutting off the rest of her words as a line of heavily armoured soldier mummies stalked forward.

Eddie would have probably felt a little bit insane about the feeling of Steve’s warm and very large hand pressing into his bare stomach, pushing him back behind him, placing himself in between the soldiers and Eddie but he didn’t get the chance to feel even mildly insane about it, unfortunately.

Because as the soldiers charged forward, Eddie was grabbed from behind, a hand in his hair, pulling his neck back and he only barely managed to get his arm up in time to stop the sharp edge of a blade from slicing across his throat, cutting across the back of his forearm instead.

He kicked back, sending his assailant stumbling and setting his hair free, turning just in time to dodge another swipe from that same blade, the horrific visage of desiccated flesh and ancient linen bindings coming at him.

The resurrected mummy of Anck-Su-Namun had apparently set their sights on him, attacking him with a singular focus.

He turned and ran as fast as he could away from them, dodging and weaving his way around the now empty sarcophagi. 

“Listen, love. I don’t want your man.” Eddie huffed out. God he needed to exercise more. “Is that what you’re mad about? You want him? Take him! Have him!”

Anck-Su-Namun screeched again, swiping at him and he supposed that no, that wasn’t it. That didn’t seem right. 

They hadn’t fully formed back to alive yet. They were stuck in some limbo state of not-quite-dead but also not-quite-alive and Eddie suspected that it wasn’t going to change until Eddie himself was lying dead. 

“Eddie!” Robin called to him from somewhere off in the distance, in between trying to finish her initial incantation, so she could take control of the soldiers she had accidentally raised and then accidentally let loose. “There’s a symbol here, I can’t translate it!”

“What does it look like?” He shouted back, having to duck a swipe of the blade that came far too close for comfort. 

“It’s… uh… a bird..? No, a stork!”

Eddie’s back hit a sarcophagus behind him and he shot a hand out, catching Anck-Su-Namun’s wrist and just barely able to hold them back. How the fuck was an undead mummy made up of ancient skin and bones so strong?

“Amenophus!” Eddie’s voice was a little higher pitched than usual due to his panic but he didn’t care, he didn’t fucking care right then.

Robin repeated the word almost as soon as he had finished squeaking it out, her voice booming around the chamber, completing the incantation and commanding the soldiers to attack Anck-Su-Namun.

They halted their attack on Steve just in time, the blade of one of their spears cutting into his neck, leaving a small trickle of blood dribbling down his chest.

The hand that had been clamping around Eddie’s throat was cut off before he could even register what was happening, Anck-Su-Namun set upon by five soldiers and Eddie slid to the floor, backing away.

Despite his knowledge that Robin was their commander now, that didn’t stop the inherent distrust he had for the fucking mummies surrounding them.

There was a horrible otherworldly screech of anger and Eddie poked his head around to see Vecna bearing down on Robin who had been backed into the wall.

She dropped the gold book on the floor as Vecna gripped her tight around the throat, lifting her from the ground and slamming her back into the wall.

While one hand clutched at Vecna’s wrist, scrabbling against his hold, her other hand lightly brushed through his robes.

Robin pulled the puzzle box out, slipping it into her own pocket. It was only then that she made any actual effort to get Vecna off of her.

She lifted her leg, releasing a small knife from her boot and once she had a good grip on it, she slashed it across the back of Vecna’s hand, severing the tendons in his fingers, forcing him to release her, which he did with a screech of pain.

Robin dropped to the floor, coughing and heaving breaths back in and before Vecna could start an attack on her again, Steve threw himself forward, dragging his khopesh down Vecna’s back, opening a wide and gaping wound that should have incapacitated him.

But there was no blood, no bone and organs underneath. Just putrefied rotten flesh. He was still dead underneath.

The wound slowly closed at the same time the one on his hand did and Vecna turned, blazing eyes of fury firmly on Steve now.

Eddie darted out from his hiding spot, meeting Robin in the middle over the golden book.

“”Keep him busy!” Eddie shouted in Steve’s direction. “Don’t get killed!”

Steve spat out a snarky “No problem!” trying to hack away at Vecna, but the cuts and slashes were doing almost nothing to slow him down.

Robin slammed the key into the book, quickly unlocking it and peeling it open while Eddie searched desperately for the incantation he needed, his fingers smearing his blood over the symbols.

“You know, if this book was really made of gold, it would be too heavy to even turn one of the pages let alone carry it around—”

“Robin! You’re not helping!”

She nodded. “You’re good here?”

“Yes, yes!” He waved his hand at her. “Go!”

Robin didn’t waste a second, pushing herself to her feet and pulling her revolver from its holster, cocking it back and sending a bullet sailing through Vecna’s head, who had Steve lifted off the ground, hand around his throat. 

Eddie brought his eyes back down to the book, quickly following the hieroglyphs with his fingers, trying to find what he needed while Vecna screamed and gunfire exploded behind him. 

Then he spotted it. He slammed his finger down, pointing out what he needed to himself and whipped his head up.

“Kadeesh mal! Kadeesh mal!” He shouted, Vecna freezing in his tracks, sword held aloft over Steve and Robin on the ground. “Pared oos! Pared oos!”

Vecna turned and along with him, Eddie, Steve and Robin turned too as the sound of hoofbeats echoed around the chamber, a ghostly chariot bursting through with a jackal headed rider, their eyes locked on Vecna as they rode forth.

Vecna took a horrified step back but it wasn’t enough to move him out of the path and the chariot passed straight through him, a spiritual image of Venca being caught up around the throat by the jackal headed rider.

The spectral images turned, paying no mind to Steve, Eddie or Robin as they rode back up the stairs that Eddie had tried to escape up before, disappearing in a flash of light.

Eddie nearly breathed a sigh of relief. 

Nearly. 

But Vecna was still here. 

The spell hadn’t killed him and now he turned, his bright blazing blue eyes locked on Eddie as he stalked forward.

“I thought you said it was supposed to kill him!” Steve shouted, scrambling to his feet as Vecna advanced.

Vecna was right in front of him, face furious and hand lashing out towards Eddie’s neck.

With a spatter of red and black against Eddie’s bare chest, Vecna’s middle was bisected, Steve’s sword cutting through and Eddie looked up into those blue eyes.

“Not exactly. But he is mortal now.”

Steve yanked the sword out, Vecna looking down at his belly in shock as he stumbled to the side before tipping precariously into the swamp water.

The three of them watched as Vecna slowly disintegrated in front of them, his skin rotting away and falling apart as the water surrounded him.

Eddie had time to take a deep breath in. To sit and watch as the water settled back to a flat surface and he had almost, almost let his shoulders drop in a sigh.

The water rippled and he could feel Robin and Steve tense on either side of him.

The walls around them began to spill sand and the ceiling slowly started to descend towards them.

Steve took his hand, blood smearing between them and Robin plucked the gold book up, the three of them starting to run out of the crumbling chamber.

Just as they got to the stairs, Robin slipped, the gold book sliding out of her grip and disappearing into the water.

“Robin!” Eddie screeched, ripping his hand from Steve’s grip to go back to where the glinting gold had disappeared below the surface. “All that knowledge just gone—!”

He was cut off by the two of them grabbing him, an arm each, and dragging him away while he continued to lament about the ancient artefact, forever lost.

They were almost out, they were almost free, Eddie could see daylight and they had to dive, throwing themselves through a small gap as a great slab of stone slowly descended, blocking off the entrance.

“Steve!”

A voice called from behind them, a desperate cry pleading for help.

Tommy.

Steve turned on his heel without hesitation, but with a healthy growl of frustration and flattened himself onto his belly, reaching an arm in between the ground and the slowly lowering stone, reaching.

Eddie could see Tommy’s hand grab his and as Steve pulled Tommy was yanked half way out before he came to a dead stop, trapped. A gargantuan stone slowly getting closer and closer to him.

“Tommy– what? Are you fucking serious?!” Steve screamed, his voice raw outrage. “Let it go, for Christ's sake!”

There was the clink of metal and a whimper and Tommy loosened his grip around a sack he’d been dragging with him, getting pulled out from below the lowering door in the nick of time.

Steve pushed himself up, getting to his feet and taking Eddie’s hand in his again. 

“Make sure that’s the last thing I ever do for you.”

Tommy looked up at them from his position on the ground, eyes bouncing between Steve and Eddie.

He gave a shaky nod before pushing himself to stand as well and shooting off in the direction of the waiting party of camels, Ardeth Bay sitting atop his own, looking down on him with a glare.

Tommy hesitated in front of them, almost like he was looking for something, before picking one at random and riding away at a furious pace.

Ardeth handed the rest of the reins off to Robin.

“Glad to see you’re alive. Don’t come back.”

With that, he pulled his horse around and without a backwards glance, rode off into the distance.

“Well.” Robin sighed, patting her camel's muzzle, “leaving empty handed is better than not leaving at all, I suppose.”

“I dunno.” Steve replied with a shrug, catching Eddie fast around the waist and pulling him in tight. “I wouldn’t say empty handed.”

“Ugh.” Robin scrunched up her nose while Eddie snorted to himself, hiding his face in Steve’s shoulder.

“That was such a bad line, Stevie.”

“And,” Robin rolled her eyes. “I was talking about the treasure that was down there.”

Eddie lifted his head to look at her and she held her hands up.

“Which we are perfectly happy with leaving behind and not selling off to foreign museums for profit.”

“You’re damn right.”

“God, you two are insufferable.” Steve huffed, squeezing Eddie around the middle. “Can I kiss you now?”

Eddie smiled at him, ignoring Robin’s muttered “Ew.” behind him.

“I don’t know, Stevie. Can you?”

Steve rolled his eyes, throwing his hands up and taking a step away with a mockingly annoyed pout.

Eddie shot forward, grabbing Steve’s face between both hands and pulling him forward, smashing their lips together in clumsy desperation, refusing to let Steve get away after all this time, after everything they’d been through.

Steve smiled into the kiss, crushing Eddie to himself again with his arms around his waist and tilting forward, almost dipping Eddie down.

Eddie opened his mouth, pushing his tongue forward and Steve met him with equal gusto, sucking it into his mouth and licking back into Eddie’s—

“Are you two done?”

They broke apart to look at Robin. 

“If we have to be.” Eddie frowned. 

“Good. You have to be.” She huffed, throwing a set of reins in Steve’s direction.

Eddie watched as Steve swung himself up, settling in the saddle before holding a hand out. Eddie happily allowed himself to be pulled up into Steve’s lap before they began a slow trot towards the horizon.

“What now?” Steve asked, holding Eddie tight against him.

“Well…” Eddie sighed, slinging his arms around Steve’s neck. “How do you feel about a trip back to rural Indiana? Maybe to a house with no electricity? There’s someone there I’d like you to meet.”

Steve grinned, placing a sweet kiss against Eddie’s cheek.

“Sounds perfect.”

Part 1/ Part 6/ AO3

Happy birthday @hbyrde36

My biggest thanks and much love to @pearynice and @hitlikehammers for the beta work with this and to the @strangerthingswritersguild for their motivation!

[caffiend-queen]

Do NOT Say 'Always After My Lucky Charms,' Or I Will Stab You

Welcome to another addition to the Holidays in Hel series! Where Loki and Mina attempt to save the Avengers from yet another catastrophic holiday fuckup.

I've been cleaning up and adding bits to my Holidays in Hel series because really, it's my favorite. I hope you enjoy, and thank you as always for reading!

Chapter One: An Unmitigated Disaster Awaits

In which Loki and Mina once again find themselves in the middle of a colossal Avengers holiday fuckup. And who knew the Fey Folk were such assholes?

If there was blame to be assigned for the night that destroyed any charm and mystery left in St. Patrick’s Day, it should really go to The Paddy O’Hoolihan’s, an Irish folk band with a painfully cheesy name. But their music- it was frenzied and delightful, which was why Mina, Wanda, Jane, Pepper, Darcy, and even Natasha were swirling madly in some sort of a jig between each other like a flutter of butterflies, colorful spring dresses flaring out in a pleasing way that exposed a toned thigh or two. They were so fascinating to watch that the rest of the Avengers agreed right then that a Night Out On The Town would be necessary in the hopes of seeing more of this.

“A flutter of butterflies?” Tony blustered. “That can’t be right.”

Loki was seated elegantly on a comfortable chair in the middle of Central Park while most of the other male Avengers were seated in the grass, soaking the seat of their jeans. “A flutter,” he confirmed, watching closely as Mina sent him a saucy little wink. “Known also as a kaleidoscope or a swarm.”

“Swarm isn’t the right word,” mused Steve, still brushing at the green streaks on his pressed chinos. “That sounds like bugs. The girls are definitely butterflies.”

“Butterflies are bugs,” grunted Bucky, eyes closed and soaking in the weak spring sunlight.

“You romantic bastard,” chortled Sam, who was watching Thor capering with the women and getting the dance steps wrong. “I’m gonna go save those ladies from his bigass feet.” 

“That slick son of a bitch,” Tony observed morosely, watching Sam gracefully sweep Pepper under one arm and Natasha with the other.

It was a rare day, a blissful day where nothing was exploding, no one was invading anyone else’s borders, no one was getting kidnapped, and even HYDRA appeared to be taking a long afternoon nap. The Avengers were all lazing in Central Park on an almost unnaturally warm day for March 17th and enjoying a holiday where they were, for once, not urgently needed. Anywhere.

“To St. Patrick’s Day!” toasted Bucky, raising his bottle of Guinness to clink with Steve’s. “So what’s the plan for tonight?”

Tony pulled another bottle from the specialty vibranium cooler that floated next to him, its propulsion jets hissing softly. “Watch the parade from Stark Tower, say a prayer at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, and hit The Dead Rabbit Grocery & Grog. The Dropkick Murphy’s are headlining.”

Loki sniffed, still watching keenly as Mina took the hands of an elderly gentleman so wizened and stooped that he could legally be classified as a leprechaun. “My lady and I will be spending the evening safely at the Tower. I do not understand this keen desire for holiday-based mayhem and disaster, but I assure you we shall not participate.”

“Brother!” Thor’s voice was unfortunately right next to Loki’s ear, and God or no, the roar from the oaf seared through his ear canal and scrambled his ganglia. “You must bring the Lady Mina, she will be terribly disappointed! Darcy has been telling her of the majesty of the Celtic celebrations here. She must pay homage to her ancestors.”

Loki frowned. Mina had Irish blood? He would rather crush his own skull with Thor’s hammer than admit that his brother knew something about his Mina that he did not, so he settled for a haughty sniff. “Why must I be the sole sentinel during every holiday on this benighted excuse for a realm to remind you all that it will always, always invariably result in death and destruction? That there will be some unnatural force that will target the Avengers and endanger all those we love? Why must I be the-”

“Hey, did you hear that?” Tony interrupted happily, “Loki looooves Mina!”

And then the tiresome chorus rose from this pack of imbeciles. Loki rolled his eyes, wondering if he sent a hailstorm of toads down upon this crowd if it would immediately be traced back to him. But then his Mina returned and sat down in his lap. Kissing him on the tip of his aquiline nose, she sighed, “And Mina loves Loki, so all of you hush.”

“Darling, are you indeed of Irish descent?”

Mina looked up from the 3D chemical strain she was modeling for one of Jane’s experiments. “Yes, and Scottish. How did this come up?”

Loki sniffed haughtily. “My oaf of a brother attempted to claim that I must indulge you in a night of drunken excess with the rest of the team as some sort of homage to your heritage. Is this night one that must be dedicated to your ancestors? Is it a sacred rite?”

Giving a very unladylike snort, Mina said, “Nothing sacred about gulping down too much green beer and singing Irish folk songs. But…” Loki groaned internally. His sweet girl had a look of longing as she continued. “But it’s always such a fun night! I get to dance and sing, and the saying is that ‘On St. Patrick’s Day, everyone is Irish.’” She smiled up at him sweetly. “Even you, Loki.”

Lip curled, he snarled, “Do not assign me a heritage from this insignificant rock!” Traditionally, this sort of elegant sneer would quail Mina, but this time, she gave him a sneer of her own. 

“Oh, you do not disrespect my people, Loki!” She quailed slightly before seeing his curled lip stretch into a smile. 

“My, my. Look at my fierce little banshee! I would not think of it.” Mina gave him the sort of shameless, hopeful grin that crumbled the God of Lies and Mischief’s will more often than he’d care to admit. 

Sliding her hands over his broad shoulders, admiring the hard muscle beneath, she asked, “Does that mean you might be willing to join the group tonight at the Dead Rabbit?”

His elegant head pulled back from hers, “What a truly bizarre name. Does the proprietor wish to drive people away from his tavern?”

Mina cackled a bit. “We Irish are tough. We like it rough and difficult.” She instantly realized her mistake as Loki’s pupils flared.

“Really…” he purred, his deep tone more like a rumble against her spine. “You like it, ‘rough,’ do you, darling?”

It was a desperate scramble to get away from her God’s ruthless grasp, but Mina found herself pulling on her old plaid kilt and cream Irish fisherman’s sweater after a promise to show Loki later the bit of “rough” that a good girl from the Emerald Isle could handle. “My lovely Mina,” he approved, stepping behind her in the dressing room mirror to straighten his cuffs. She’d just pulled on some warm black tights and her knee-high riding boots. “You have a very delectable ‘upper-crust schoolgirl’ sort of look here. I find myself quite interested in knowing what good Irish schoolgirls wear under their kilts.”

“Well, I imagine a big, strong man like you can find out for yourself,” Mina answered primly, then leaped over the bench with a yelp when Loki made a sudden move at her. Chuckling, he straightened his tie and strolled sedately after her.

It was, of course, vile. Loki sighed in a long-suffering way as he surveyed the crowded bar, one hand securely on Mina’s back. “The sun barely set and here are your countrymen, already intoxicated,” he said, leaning in close so she could hear him over the drunken chorus of “Whiskey You’re the Devil.”

“Oh, look!” Mina shouted back, “There they are! In the Snug.”

“I beg your pardon?” Loki raised a brow.

“The Snug,” Mina was the one carving a path through the partygoers, heading for their friends. “There’s one in every proper Irish bar.  It’s the room right off of the bar where the ladies used to go to have a pint or a sherry and not have to worry about being considered loose. Now the bars just rent them out as a VIP space.”

In his usual fashion, Tony had not only bought out the Snug, which had an excellent view of the rest of the pub, but he also had the management re-create the magnificent, shining walnut bar that ran nearly the length of the main room into a private version for the Avengers. When they drew closer, they found Thor in a handstand with one end of a tube in his mouth and the other in a cask of aged whiskey. 

Sam, Clint, Darcy, and the usually shy Bucky were circling the spectacle, shouting “Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!” Thor finished the cask and flipped upright with a flourish, raising his huge arms and roaring in triumph.

“What are you wearing?” Loki frowned, all the men were sporting hideous green plaid patterned neckties, and the more drunken amongst them - namely Clint and Tony - had little green bowler hats perched atop their messy hair.

“It was Tony’s idea, where’s your tie?” asked Bruce, who looked distinctly put out that he’d been forced to wear this itchy novelty neckwear while Loki looked as smooth and perfectly put together as always in an onyx Tom Ford suit.

Loki sniffed, “Ideally, at the bottom of the Hudson River.”

Tony stumbled up behind Loki and Mina, sunglasses askew as he looped an arm around each of them. “Your brother knows how to party, Severus Snape! Let’s tap another cask for you!”

“It is a crime to treat a good whiskey so,” admonished Loki, “and Thor must consume twenty or so of those casks for him to find something even approaching intoxication.” Nonetheless, he found himself relaxing and even amused as his Mina dragged Natasha up on to the bar for a round of Irish Ceili dancing, the Russian gracefully moving along as if she’d performed Irish jigs all her life.

“Man, is there anything Natasha can’t do perfectly?” groused Darcy, watching the footwork until it made her dizzy.

Bucky put his arm around her. “She can’t make that cute little noise you make when I…” She dissolved into a round of giggles and Loki rolled his eyes, looking around the pub. There was a thicket of drunk college students, singing along off-key with the Dropkick Murphys, who’d moved on to “Rose Tattoo.” The main bar was claimed by the regulars, who held court and toasted something new at least every sixty seconds, based on the cheers and clinking of glasses. Small islands of tourists floated through the crowd, gripping a beer mug in one hand and a souvenir Dead Rabbit t-shirt in the other. Irish flags were draped in every corner and the light glowed off the massive selection of alcohol behind the bar, bathing everything in a pleasingly golden glow. And… Loki raised one elegant brow. There was a small group of… small people?

“Little people,” Steve said, leaning in. “The correct phrase is little people.”

“Descendants of a visit long past from a group of lustful and irresponsible Nidavellir,” mused Loki, “the dwarves always eager to spread their seed.”

Steve looked alarmed, “I don’t think you want to be floating that theory, Loki. Especially not here, and not tonight.”

Before the God of Mischief could further discuss Nidavellir sex tourism, he heard a loud “Hellooo, Monty!” from his sweet girl, still tip-tapping away atop the bar.

One of the men broke away from the group and waved eagerly. “Éire go Brách, Mina!” 

Leaping rather gracefully from the bar, she took his small hand, greeting him warmly. “Éire go Brách, Monty! I’m so glad you came.”

The gentlemen had a face like a withered crabapple, all wrinkles and slightly sunken, but when he glanced at Loki, there was a spark of… something in his eye. One trickster always knew another, and he recognized the elderly gentleman she’d favored with a dance that afternoon at the park. “Well, when you promised me another dance, my dear, how could I not?” Monty turned to Loki and bent his head in a courtly gesture, “If your date for the evening has no objection, of course.”

Oddly, Loki did have an objection. The gleam in the small man’s eye was growing brighter, and his own emerald ones narrowed. “And what brings you to New York, Monty? Your accent has all the slurs and ellipses of a Dubliner, born and bred.”

Mina’s new friend threw back his head and laughed grandly, “Ach, you’ve caught me. I am, indeed. But I find that here in America, the Irish celebrate this day with greater enthusiasm.”

Just then the Dropkick Murphys launched into “The Boys are Back” and Mina squealed. “Monty! This is my song, let’s go!” And with a final smirk at Loki, her diminutive beau allowed her to pull him into the crowd. 

He stared after them disapprovingly. The Dead Rabbit was even louder - if possible - than it had been when they arrived and the discordant screech of electric guitar and the accompaniment of the Uilleann pipes rose over the crowd.

The boys are back

The boys are back

The boys are back

And they're looking for trouble

Standing on the highway, ???

I'm missing my home, and it's killing me

Down the ramp past the jail, I'm feeling alright

Bought roses for my ladies from a corner delight

It's time to get ready for that song and dance

Let's go my friends, it's time to take a chance

We're back in town, we're gonna get it done

We got nowhere to hide, we got nowhere to run

It's been a long time coming,

It's been a long time coming,

The boys are back

The boys are back

The boys are back

And they're looking for trouble

And in the blink of an eye, Mina and her questionable dance partner were swallowed up into the crowd. “Did he not seem unnatural to you?” Loki asked Tony, who was leaning heavily on his shoulder and wrinkling the perfect cut of his jacket.

Tony stumbled back, “Woah, Lokes, prejudiced much? What’s next, snide comments about the little people always being after your Lucky Charms?” He said the last in a deplorably bad Irish accent, and Loki’s brow furrowed. Tony (partially sober) was just barely endurable. Completely intoxicated Tony was a punishment that could make the strongest Asgardian choose Odin’s dungeons over Stark Tower.

Bucky gently elbowed Tony into a seat, where his head tipped back and a gentle snore rose from his slack mouth. “Ignore him, Loki. What’s the problem?”

“Most pressing,” he said, “is that my dear Mina seems to have disappeared into this drunken throng with a most untrustworthy creature.”

“Takes one to know one,” Bucky agreed, but he refused to take offense, still searching the crowd. Looking around, he frowned. “And where’s Darcy and Jane? And Pepper? And Natasha?” By now the others were closing in. Thor shouldered his way into the knot of drunken, flailing New Yorkers and Clint hopped up on the table.

Pale hands shooting out, Loki sent a silver stream of energy that coiled and ripped around the pub, curling and snaking along, but there was no sign of the women. “By the NORNIR!” he shouted. “Why? Why must it always be the holidays? You Avengers are a curse, I swear it!”

“Huh?” Tony woke up, standing and rubbing his face. “What?”

Loki turned on him. “You will never heed my warning, will you? All our women- they are gone. Gone!”

“Aw, damn,” sighed Steve, "AGAIN?"

Chapter Two is up tomorrow. You know, the one with all the smut.

I'm starting over with a vague memory of who might like my Loki and Avengers tales. If you would like on or off this list, please let me know! Thank you. Mwah!

@what-is-your-plan-today

@sweater-daddiesdumbdork

@the-soulofdevil

@americasass81

@mdemontespan1667

@sultry-rachael

@myoxisbroken

@gigglingtiggerv2

@notpedeka

@narnianarcher

@sylviefromneptune

@winterslove1917

@kimanne723

@hawkeyes-queen

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@stevihj

@lizette50

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@inkededucatednnerdy

@nonsensicalobsessions

@viv-annelore

@eleniblue

[azrielgreen]

I thoroughly enjoy you continuously blowing my mind, breaking my heart and feeding my soul with your stories. This last chapter of #SkorSky left me in a state of lugubrious, as much as it infuriates me I also see the depths each character has/is going through to build their individual growth, healing and redemption

How you’ve (once more) managed to have me see Eddie through a different scope is *insert blown up noises* & like Prism Eddie, there’s a newfound respect

I keep going back to “the thrill of the chase” and the effects of once you achieve what you’ve been chasing it’s just- some (or all) thrill is gone. And how it’s being coped with and our new fave flavor - vanilla

I throughly love Steve but see our precious freckled boy has so much growing to do and it shows in his selfish tendencies, how he takes no accountability for his actions (some), but I love and I mean love how you’re slowly introducing realization, accountability and in sorts integrity

I have to ask, will there be any POV by Eddie of any of the major instances to this story? I’d love to read his thoughts on certain events and the itch I have for what he considers not cheating because this has been bugging me and I feel like.. I don’t wanna assume we’ll see this

Billy broke my heart, we need an emotional support person for Billy..

This is long as usual, but your stories just add a much needed breath of fresh air to our busy, sometimes erratic lives, that I wanted to say thank you for sharing your work & doing what you do

God, but you always gift me with THE most beautifully detailed thoughts, thank you so fucking much, I really treasure it all. YES we will absolutely get more Eddie POV at some point, it's not directly on the horizon right now, but in the next batch definitely. Depriving the reader of his POV is a tactic I adore.

What I can say is that his understanding of cheating with Steve is very different from what it was with Chrissy, too complex to explain outside of the story and his own POV, but I will confidently say that Eddie would not cheat on Steve and he would consider anything from texting someone else to a kiss to even being in a BDSM club without Steve/Steve's express permission to be cheating. This is Eddie's (somewhat naive) Begin Again and he is determined not to make the same mistakes again. At risk of sounding like him myself, he does truly love Steve, he is gone for him. He would not cheat on him, which makes it kinda worse that he does have that self control... just not with Chrissy.

ScorSky is always a mess.

Love, Azriel

[strange-little-spy]

Chapter Sixteen – The streets of NYC, 9:00 am, December 7th, 1941

I apologize for taking so long to post but the writing wheels wouldn't wheel last week XD Enjoy a much needed chapter

Warnings: ww2 begins for the U.S. ~ needles ~ some fluff and angst

Word Count: 2182 words

Utter chaos. Horror. Hatred. Those were the words that echoed in every American’s mind as the news of the attack on Pearl Harbor, just only an hour ago, spread throughout the country, all the radios were tuned to hear the news stations as they gave updates to the carnage out in the Pacific.

It was downright cowardly. No warning, and on the most peaceful day of the week. They gave their warning… 3 hours later.

Bucky was boiling as he listened to the news broadcast, Addison at his side, her smaller hand grasping his as she listened. She understood what happened. She knew all too well what happened. She’d tried to tell them, she’d really tried! But the words wouldn’t come. She knew exactly when and where they’d attack- but she couldn’t bring the information forward. Now it was too late, World War two was in full effect.

“C’mon, Adds. Lets go.” Bucky tugged on the girl’s hand as Steve followed behind, his eyes boring holes in the sidewalk as they passed through the crowds on their way to Dr. Erskine’s office. The city was..well—they were struck. They knew the German’s overseas were getting itchy, their own defeat with the Battle of Britain forcing to them to revaluate their strategy. They were getting nervous.

As was everyone in the city as they knew they were really at war. War was something inevitable, yet most of the Americans were not expecting to receive such a dastardly attack from the OTHER side of the ocean.

When the trio reached the building doctor’s office, the secretary greeted them before informing them the major was already waiting for them.

“It’s a hard day for this,” Kellings shook Steve and Bucky’s hands, his expression grim. It had been a massive shock to them all, and he had the information in his own hands with the enhanced girl in front of him. She’d predicted everything to the letter; when, where, how, and whom.

It was almost...scary.

“Ah,” Kellings turned to the small man who came into the room, his eyes peering over his glasses as he seemed to be reading something while he walked. “Gentlemen, this is Doctor Erskine, a good friend of mine and currently perfecting his serum. Doctor, this is Steve Rogers, James Barnes and their friend, Addison.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you all,” Erskine gave a kind smile before shaking hands. But when he reached Addison, he peered at her, noticing her form and how she stood. “Is this the young lady you spoke to me about, Major?”

“She is.” Kellings nodded. “It appears she has all what your bug juice offers, but—you haven’t completed it yet, neither have we even tested it. I really don’t understand it.”

“You would be surprised what can allow us, Major. Ah, may I take Miss Addison to another room to ask her a few questions and perhaps understand how such an incident happened.”

“C-Can I stay with her?” Steve stepped forward. “She’s been hurt before so we try to be with her most of the time.”

“Of course, young man.” Erskine smiled and nodded, leading them into a partitioned room where he instructed Addison to sit on the table with the white cloth stretched over it.

 “I will not hurt you, little lady.” He sounded kind as he set his reading material down and adjusted his glasses. His accent rolling, but he spoke perfect English. “I would just like to know what happened that you are suddenly perfect and I haven’t even completed the serum?”

Addison looked to him, her eyes wide but curious, not scared. Her head cocked to the side before her mouth opened just a little.

“Speak up a little please, these old ears are not what they used to be.” He chuckled, tapping his pencil on her chin once.

Steve was almost intrigued as the doctor slowly coaxed her story from her, writing down as much as he could, noting the most important facts with a bold underline.

“I see,” Erskine nodded, standing up and closing his paper. “Thank you for telling me everything, now if I may have your’s and Steven’s permission, I would like to take a blood sample so I may inspect it.” He spoke softly, a stark contrast to the handlers and doctors she had been exposed to in that literal hell that haunted her. She actually liked it, she liked him too. He was nice.

“Is it okay if he does, Adds?” Steve asked, his hands running up and down her shoulder,

“Wi-will it hurt?”

“Just a little bit, when the needle goes in. That’s all.” Erskine said gently.

“You’re brave, Adds. I’m right here, too.” Steve encouraged.

She exchanged glances with the doctor and Steve before nodding and rolling up the sleeve of one of Bucky’s borrowed shirts.

Erskine smiled at her before preparing his syringe. She visibly flinched when he approached her, but Steve grasped her hand firmly to which she clung as the needle was inserted, the red fluid flowing into the syringe.

It was over before long, the girl letting out a relieved sigh. Too much had been shoved into her to be okay about it.

“Tell me about yourself, Steven.” The doctor asked as he placed the blood sample beneath the microscope and peered into the viewing holes.

“Me? Well- I’m scrawny, can’t breathe and they won’t let me in the Army.”

“I see,” Erskine didn’t look up from the lenses as Addie rolled her sleeve back down. “Where are you from?”

“Brooklyn.”

“Mmm, Queens.”

“And before then?”

“Germany.” The doctor looked up from his work, his expression unreadable. “This does not trouble you, I hope?”

“No,” Steve shook his head, truthful.

“And you?” Erskine looked to Bucky.

“No, why should it? You’re helping my friend and the major trusts you. I don’t see why either of us should be biased.”

“You are a smart young man,” Erskine smiled at the two.

“So..” Bucky prompted. “Whats the news?”

“I appears your little friend here can help me in more ways than one.”

“I hope that’s a good thing.” Steve muttered.

“Oh, it is, in fact.” Erskine nodded, approaching Addie again. “Young lady, would you be willing to help this country out? I’m not asking you to be a test subject for me, I would like to study the serum in your blood. It would greatly impact the war.”

The girl looked at the older man before exchanging a glance with Bucky. “How are you planning to do th-this?” She spoke softly, almost afraid to question it.

“We will take more blood samples, to put it simply. You can still be with your friends, but you and I will be working closely. I have only one rule you want to do this.”

“Which is?”

“That you stay in New York, don’t leave the city in case we need to get you somewhere important, we know where you are.”

“And you just want my blood?”

“That’s all I need.” Erskine smiled.

“I’ll take care of you, Adds.” Bucky offered, his hand gripping her shoulder gingerly.

“Would you like a moment to think about it?” The doctor offered.

“No, no,” Addison shook her head. No, she had to do this. Otherwise her promise to Steve would probably never come about. “I’ll do it, sir. You can use my blood.”

“Are you sure?” Steve broke in, his concern etched on his face.

“Yes, I’m sure.” She nodded.

Two Months later…

They were making progress, slowly but surely. Addison was remembering things quicker and was able to pick the words from her mind without asking for help. Bucky put Steve in charge of making sure she wasn’t overwhelmed or confused when she woke up, especially after a nightmare. Those blasted dreams seemed to tear down all the progress they were making, constantly barraging the young woman with awful memories of her time as an assassin. Funny enough, most of the times after she woke up, she sought after Bucky’s company, clinging to his taller frame simply waiting for the terror to pass. He gladly offered his comfort, telling her stories about his childhood or when he first met Steve, small things like that.

“Hey, Adds,” Steve poked his head into her room with her jacket. “C’mon, doll, the doc just called. He needs to see you.”

Addie’s brows knit together but she followed the blond man just the same.

“Did he what for?” She tugged the sleeves over her arms.

“Not really,” Steve shook his head. “But he sounded pretty excited.”

“Hm.”

“You good?” Steve looked to her.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.” She smiled, her hands rammed into her pockets as to keep them from hurting anyone.

“You just look a little far off.”

“No more than usual?”

“Ha, well, you know what I mean.”

“I guess I’m just a little freaked out. About… well, everything. All that’s happened and I couldn’t do anything more.”

“No, no, hey,” Steve touched her arm. “None of this was ever your fault. Ever. You understand me?”

“Yeah,” She nodded, pausing her walk. “Thanks, Steve.”

“Hey, you’re my girl, ain’t nothing going to change that. I still love you wether or not you remember me.”

She smiled and placed a small kiss on his cheek before grasping his hand and continued walking down the street.

It wasn’t a long walk to the office, but just long enough that Steve wasn’t willing to let the girl out by herself.

“There you are,” Erskine smiled and clapped his hand against Steve’s shoulder when they walked through the doorway. “I was wondering if you would show.”

“Is something wrong?” Steve’s brows furrowed, his hand still holding Addie’s.

“Oh, no. Nothing’s wrong, Steven. Come on, I have someone I want you to meet.”

“Huh?” Addie protested as Steve tugged her along into the room across the hallway, a soldier apparently, but higher ranking based on his uniform.

“Steven, I want you to meet Colonel Phillips.” Erskine motioned to the man, his expression neatly unimpressed with Steve.

"How do." He nodded as he shook Steve's much smaller hand before looking to the doctor. "Are you joking with me??"

"Please, Colonel." Erskine objected. "Give him a chance."

"What's going on? Give me a chance for what?." Steve questioned, looking a little taken aback. Even Addie was looking between the doctor and the colonel.

"I apologize, I seemed to have gotten ahead of myself. Colonel Phillips is here to see Addison for himself. It appears he is interested in the serum."

"That still doesn't explain this string bean." Phillips made an unwanted gesture toward Steve.

Before anyone could react, Addison was grasping the Colonel's shirt with a murderous expression on her stony face. "Are you talking bull about Steve?"

"Adds- don't!' Steve pulled on her shoulder, his tone worried.

Even though Phillips stood a good six inches on Addison, that still didn't dismiss the fact she was ready to hurt anyone who dared to talk crap about Steve.

"Addison, just let him go, it's okay..." Steve assured, still gripping the girl's shoulder. She finally let the man go but didn't refuse to keep sending him a death glare the entire conversation. "I-I'm sorry about that.."

"Now you're really discouraging me." Phillips huffed, straightening his overjacket.

"Addison is rather impetuous." Erskine explained, his tone calmer than what it should have been. "But it's understandable for her to be protective."

"I ask for an army, all I have is a girl with rage issues."

"I wouldn't provoke her, Colonel." Erskine folded his hands in front of him.

Phillips shot a glance at Addison who was fuming, her hands clenched at her sides as Steve seemed to be holding her back by her bicep.

Erskine simply let out a small sigh and looked to Addison. "His bark is worse than his bite, my dear."

Addie said nothing but seemed to relax, her shoulders dropping and her hands shoving into her pockets.

"Now, Steven. You want to go overseas. Kill some Nazis."

Steve looked a little confused but he quickly responded. "Is this a test?"

"Yes." Erskine simply nodded.

There was half a beat. "I don't want to kill anyone. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from."

Erskine and the Colonel exchanged a glance, the latter rolling his eyes in the most indirect way anyone could.

"Well, there are already so many big men bghting this war." Erskine explained, sounding quite pleased. "Maybe what we need now is a little guy. I can offer you a chance. Well- you and your friend here. Once a chance."

Steve looked to Addie, she returned to eye contact, quickly nodding. Even though she didn't register what this could do, she did know that if he turned this opportunity down...well, there was no telling where they could wind up.

"We'll take it." Steve looked back to Erskine with a hopeful expression.

Erskine gave the girl a smile.

"Congratulations." He stamped a form and slid it to Steve. "Soldier."

Addie glanced over the smaller man's shoulder. It was an enlistment form. A-1.

End notes: Okay! Some major canon screwing incoming so be prepared.

Thank you for reading! Dividers by @strangergraphics

Original prompt by @the-superoriginal ~ written by yours truly, all relation to actual people are purely coincidental

Tag list: @fictionalmenjusthitdifferent ~ @oh-to-be-a-murderer ~ @thebestmerc-1 ~ @itzzkaylaaa ~ @twoarrsandonesea ~ @natt-romanoff - @proud-owner-0f-americas-ass - @crazyinlovewithmarvel

[solarmorrigan]

Been dealing with a fever and stomach bug the past few days and let me tell you it’s s u c k e d, but what’s been getting me through it, you ask??

Oh well, none other than Hands Where I Can See Them!! Babe, when I tell you I’ve actually been frothing at the mouth over each chapter I read🫢🫢 I love it all!! Heart? Content. Soul? At peace. Expectations? Blown. Hotel? Trivago.

Hello! I'm so glad the story could keep you company while you've been feeling sick, and it was very kind of you to take a minute to let me know! So, thank you <3

Also, I haven't felt like writing anything in days, but I had a little pop of an idea reading your message, so I do hope you're feeling better by now, but if you're not (or even if you are, really), here's, like. A get well soon ficlet. Or something? (I was just excited to actually feel like writing something, I hope this isn't weird)

-

Steve looks absolutely miserable. His face is pale where it isn’t flushed, his hair is sticking up in sweaty clumps, and his eyes is exhaustion-bruised. He’s been sick for two days, running an annoyingly persistent fever and stricken with an inability to keep much of anything beyond water and saltines down. Eddie’s never been very good with sick people, but he’s doing his best to take care of Steve – though Steve isn’t the most cooperative patient.

Currently, he’s sitting on the floor of the bathroom, half curled up on the bathmat and propped up against the wall beside the toilet, eyes shut like he’s trying to sleep there.

“You wanna go back to bed?” Eddie asks him, and Steve grimaces, shaking his head.

“No point. I’m just gonna end up in here again, anyway,” he mumbles.

“Baby, you can’t sleep on the bathroom floor,” Eddie says.

“Not if you keep talking, I can’t,” Steve shoots back, eyes still stubbornly drooped shut.

“You’re exhausted. You’ll sleep better in bed,” Eddie wheedles.

“Don’t try to make me leave the bathroom. The toilet is my best friend. As soon as I can move, we’re gonna elope,” Steve insists drowsily.

Eddie doesn’t even bother to hold in his laugh. “Robin is your best friend,” he tells Steve, reaching over to card his fingers through Steve’s hair. “And I thought you were going to elope with me?”

Steve groans, petulant and tired. “Fine. I’ll elope with you as soon as I stop feeling like shit.” He finally opens his eyes, fixing Eddie with an earnest look. “But I’m serious, I really don’t want to move.”

Biting at the corner of his lip, Eddie thinks for a moment. “Okay,” he says, bending down to press a kiss to the top of Steve’s head. “I got an idea, wait here.”

He doesn’t know where he expects Steve to go, looking and feeling the way he does, but Eddie is quick all the same. He runs out into the living room and swipes all the throw pillows and a couple of couch cushions, then, balancing everything awkwardly, he pauses in the bedroom to snag the fuzzy throw blanket from the end of their bed before returning to the bathroom with his spoils.

Steve watches with curious, hazy eyes as Eddie puts down cushions and pillows against the other wall, effectively creating a little nest in the corner of their admittedly small bathroom. It takes up a good chunk of the floor space, and he has to move the hamper out into the hall, but he figures it’s decidedly more comfortable than where Steve is sitting now.

“Okay, c’mere.” Eddie settles on the cushions and beckons Steve over, and Steve doesn’t need to be told twice.

He’s still fever-warm as he leans up against Eddie, so Eddie only draws the blanket up to their waists, but Steve seems content, anyway.

“Probably shouldn’t be this close to you. You’ll catch my crud,” Steve murmurs, though he clearly has no intent to move, cuddled into Eddie’s side like he is.

“If I do, will you build me a pillow nest, too?” Eddie asks.

“Any time you want,” Steve says. He wiggles a little, as if testing to see if he can get any closer to Eddie before he settles in, his head propped in the crook of Eddie’s neck and his eyes drifting closed again. “Thank you. For being here.”

Eddie presses a kiss to Steve’s temple. “Any time you need.”

[stevie-petey]

episode eight: the upside down

You know you shouldn’t, but you laugh. Honestly, after everything you’ve been through tonight with Steve, how can he possibly think the two of you aren’t friends? “Why are you laughing?” Steve mumbles, confused.  “Sorry,” you wheeze out, still uncontrollably laughing. “It’s just–I mean, dude! We almost died together, of course we’re friends now!” “We are?” He looks like a little kid on Christmas day being given the gift he’s always wanted. Your heart warms. “Yes, idiot.”

Summary: drinking game time ! take a shot every time jonathan tries ditching you or every time you almost die at the byers house, you find out that steve really is an athlete and tbh it's hot, but you know what's even hotter ? saving hawkins and reaching a tentative compromise with steve after he loans you $5 for snacks. after, jonathan makes a promise you really hope he can keep.

Rating: general, cursing and slight scary violence

Warnings: violence, use of fire and weapons, guns, use of fem!reader and use of y/n, slight mentions of blood and death

Words: 13.7k

Before you swing in: the final chapter ,,, my heart </3 please enjoy my child, i put so much into this chapter. action scenes scare me, they're hard and i'm weak, so i hope this lives up to everything you guys wanted n more ;) i cannot believe we're at the end (but i do have another chapter planned that's set in season 1, so shhhh). thank you so so so much for all your support. i never thought this silly lil fic would get that much attention, but i'm insanely flattered and grateful for each and every one of y'all. i'm so proud of what i've created and you guys are my beloveds ,,, anyways, enjoy !!!

-

You almost miss Jonathan and Nancy sneaking off. 

You had been explaining a comic book that had been in your bag to El when you noticed a shift in your periphery. Turning your head, you see Jonathan stand, offer Nancy his hand to help her up, and then walk towards the main doors together. 

What the fuck. 

“They wouldn’t dare…” You excuse yourself and run out the gym and into the hallway to follow them, absolutely furious. You’re so sick of their bullshit, of Jonathan’s bullshit and putting Nancy first. This isn’t even a petty jealousy thing, this is about the years of friendship between the two of you that has just suddenly disappeared within a damn week all due to circumstances completely out of your control. 

The slam of the main door is the only warning Jonathan gets before you’re yanking him by his coat and flinging him back, forcing him to look at you. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

You’ve never, ever yelled at him like this before. Not even earlier this week when he’d given you that bullshit apology after screaming at you for being in his room, for saying the two of you weren’t family. You didn’t yell at him for hiding Nancy’s pictures from you, for going off without you to find the monster. Despite everything, you’ve never been this cruel to him, even if he may have deserved it at times.

Jonathan’s wide eyes stare down at your hand that’s still clutched around his coat, frightened. “Bug, we were just–”

“Just what? Sneaking off without me?”

“It’s not like that, Y/N.” Nancy now steps in, her hands held up as if you’re some rabid dog she wants to calm down. “We just figured we’d help Joyce and Hopper.”

“‘We’? Are you fucking kidding me? You two talked about this, had an entire conversation, and still somehow came to the conclusion that ditching me was a great fucking idea?” You scoff, deeply hurt by the fact that the two of them had an entire conversation without thinking to include you in it. 

“Bug, can we talk about this one on one?” Jonathan asks, his voice lowered. You can see the genuine upset in his eyes and for a moment your grip on him lessens, but then you see Nancy behind him and your anger only returns. 

“No, we can discuss this right here.” 

He sighs and tries to grab the hand not clutching his coat, but you slap it away. “Bug–”

“You’ve lost that privilege.” 

“Bug–I mean, Y/N,” His voice falters. “Look, my mom and Hopper are out there right now trying to find Will while that monster is still out. Nance and I… We want to finish what we started.” 

“Without me?” You don’t mean for it to happen, but your voice catches at the end.

Jonathan’s gaze softens and this time he succeeds in grabbing your hand. You let go of him and allow him to pull you in, weak against him as always. “I’m doing this to protect them, to protect you, Y/N. I’m always trying to protect you. You know that, right?”

You used to think that you did, but now? You’re not so sure, and it terrifies you. 

Nancy has stepped away from the conversation, now kicking at rocks while you’re with Jonathan, and you can’t help but think about how wrong all of this feels. 

Throughout this entire week it’s felt like someone has given you a photo of Jonathan, smeared its lines and edges, removed his moles and his crooked smile and made it neater, altered so that if you squint you can see the boy you grew up with underneath it all… But it’s fuzzy, almost too unclear to really see. 

Now he’s standing in front of you, his smile once more crooked and cunning and his moles faded underneath the moonlight and for a second you can see him. There he is, clear and untouched and him in a way that’s never quite been yours.

“I know,” you tell him. “But how many more times do you expect me to forgive you for lying and ditching me? If you want to protect me, you need to talk to me.”

Jonathan winces. “I know, I know it sounds stupid and I know I’ve fucked up more than enough this week, I just get caught up in wanting to make sure you’re safe. It’d kill me if I let anything happen to you… I just, I can’t lose you, bug.”

“So pushing me away is your grand plan of keeping me?”

“I’ve always been an idiot.” He manages a smile, and you can’t help but laugh. 

“That’s true, but if you attempt to ditch me one more time I swear to god I’ll pour tar all over your car.”

The boy laughs and for a brief moment everything feels okay again, but it doesn’t last very long. “In our defense, we figured you’d be better off with the kids since you’re not really a fighter, ya know?” 

You drop his hand. “Excuse me?” 

Jonathan’s smile is gone. “What?”

“I’m not really a fighter? You’re kidding, right?”

“Hey, no I didn’t mean it like that–” Jonathan fumbles over his words, clearly taken aback by your sudden mood change. 

You step away from him. “How many times did I defend you against Lonnie? Better yet, remind me how we became friends in the first place. Wasn’t it because I threw milk at a bunch of idiots bullying you? Huh?”

“Y/N–”

“God, I can’t believe I almost let you get away with it again! I mean, do you even hear the bullshit that comes out of your mouth?” You deepen your voice, now doing a poor impersonation of him. “‘Hey, bug! You know I love you, right? Cool! Now, I’m gonna go do fuck all and ignore you and ditch you and then somehow turn it into me being a good guy because duh! I can never do any wrong!’”

“Please, just–”

“Did I get it right? It was a pretty good impersonation in my opinion. I mean, I am the one who has had to deal with this shit all fucking week. I think I'm an expert on this topic now.” 

Jonathan looks pained but you don’t fucking care anymore. You’ve reached your limit, you’re sick and tired of being treated like some delicate creature that’s incapable of taking care of itself. You literally slapped Tommy Hagan this afternoon in order to help Jonathan, yet here he is basically calling you weak. 

And yet Nancy is the fighter. She’s the one who gets to go along on the adventure while you’re sidelined because for some damn reason you’re always the second option. Never taking matters into your own hands, always the one left behind to clean up the mess and take care of those also discarded. 

You’re sick of it. 

You step closer to Jonathan again, so that you’re nose to nose, and whisper, “I’m tired of never being good enough.” 

And with that, you reach into his coat and snatch up his keys, a game you’ve always played with him but now has turned into a bitter taste in your mouth, and run back into the gym. Someone has to inform the kids of the plan, make sure they’ll be okay on their own. 

Dustin sees you approach and smiles, but when he notices the angry pace in your steps, he frowns. “Uh oh.”

“Yeah, uh oh.” 

“Jonathan again?”

You nod, still too angry to trust your words. “Yeah.” 

He notices the keys in your hand. “Where are you going?”

Mike and Lucas look over now, curious as to what’s happening. 

You sigh. “I’m going with Nancy and Jonathan to the Byers house, we’re going to kill the monster.” 

“Why the hell are you going?” Dustin exclaims while Mike shouts “sick!” and Lucas mumbles “great, alone again”. El remains quiet, still resting. 

You flick your brother’s hat. “I have to, Dustin.”

“For Jonathan?” He shakes his head. “I like him, but aren’t you mad at him right now?”

“Is it just me, or is she always mad at him these days?” Mike whispers over to Lucas, who simply shrugs. 

“Girls, man.” 

You ignore them and focus on Dustin. “It doesn’t matter. He needs my help, and no one in the party gets left behind. Remember?”

“Y/N–”

“I love you,” you kiss the top of his head. “I promise I’ll be safe, just be careful, okay? I’m putting you in charge, so don’t let me down. If everything goes according to plan, I’ll see you in a few hours tops!”

Dustin tries to argue some more, but you quickly run back outside before he can get another word in. You feel horrible leaving him behind, but you know this is the right decision. If you can kill the monster, there’s less of a chance of the kids or Joyce and Hopper getting hurt. Jonathan and Nancy may be fine on their own, but there’s always power in numbers and they’ll need all the help they can get. 

You just… you have to help. You know this is what you’re supposed to be doing, even if it pains you to do so. Dustin and the kids are smart; as long as they stay at the school, they’ll be fine. 

In theory, that is.

Nancy and Jonathan are waiting for you outside. You push past them and march towards Jonathan’s care; they awkwardly follow after you. You unlock it, throw yourself into the backseat, and promptly dig through your backpack to make sure you have everything. 

The two teens get in a few minutes after you. Not one word is spoken as Jonathan starts the car and the three of you drive off, leaving Hawkins Middle behind. 

– 

You thought the car ride with Nancy and Jonathan from the funeral home had been tense, but this one? Downright painful. 

Jonathan has a tight grip on the steering wheel and keeps trying to catch your eye through the rearview mirror but you avoid his gaze. You’ve spent the last five minutes arranging and rearranging your backpack to give you something to do while Nancy has tried three times to make conversation to make this car ride bearable. 

“El seems nice.” 

“You said four words to her, Nancy.” You retort, switching open your switchblade once more to watch the moonlight dance off of its blades. 

“Right.” 

Nancy shifts uncomfortably in the passenger seat. You know she realizes she’s once again upset the balance in your relationship with Jonathan. It was only an hour ago that she tried getting you to admit your feelings for him before convincing the boy to up and leave you. Sure, Jonathan made his own decision in the end, but damn. She could’ve at least pretended to want you around. 

She notices your knives and tries to spark conversation again. “I love the color of the handle, it’s beautiful.” 

“Thanks,” you switch the blades closed and sit up in your seat. “Anyways, you geniuses have a plan or were you just counting on ditching me and winging it from there?”

“Y/N–”

“No, Nancy. I insist, let’s talk about a plan. We’re here to kill a monster, right?”

She closes her mouth and frowns, turning to Jonathan for help, but he’s no use. He’s busy tapping his fingers against the wheel and praying that the world will just swallow him up whole. Too bad for him you’re a stubborn pain in the ass and would simply pluck him back up so you can torture him some more. 

Nancy sighs. “Well, Jonathan and I were thinking we use the supplies we got earlier and lure the monster to his place, then we kill it.” 

“Awesome plan, guys!” You say, your voice dripping with sickly sweetness that leaves them both feeling even more uncomfortable. “But may I suggest some actual details or shall we just bank off of this wonderfully dull and vague plan?” 

“Sure, Y/N. Tell us what you had in mind.” Nancy rubs her face tiredly, knowing she deserves this. 

“Great! I’m assuming we’re luring the monster with blood?” They nod at you, so you continue. “Okay, so before we lure it I think we should completely booby-trap Jonathan’s house. Nail the bear trap down onto the floor, make sure the floor is cleared of anything that could trip us up. Then, once we’ve got the house secured, we knick ourselves to draw some blood and pray to whatever god is up there that we can kill the thing.” 

You pause for a moment, remembering how all the Christmas lights had been unscrewed by Joyce earlier. “The lights, we need to fix them. The monster communicates through the lights so if we have them, then we can track it.”

“That all sounds great, bug.” Jonathan finally speaks up, ass kissing. 

“Thanks, pal. Still don’t have the bug privilege back, but I’m sure you simply forgot.” 

He gulps, once more going back to being silent as he drives you and Nancy to his house. 

Nancy again tries to diffuse the tension. “How do we even kill the monster though? I mean, will my bullets be enough?”

“I have this idea, but it’s… well, it’s out there.” You bite your lip, now feeling your cocky demeanor slipping. “If we can safely set fire to it, I think that’s our best bet.”

“Fire?” Jonathan exclaims, but Nancy shushes him. 

“I think you’re right.” 

“Y/N, I know you’re mad at me but do we really have to set fire to my house–”

Now it’s your turn to shush Jonathan. “This isn’t about that. I wouldn’t burn your house down, I already told you I’d just pour tar on your car whenever I get the chance. For now, I really do think the best thing to do is burn the monster alive. In every horror movie and book, fire always gets the job done.” 

Despite herself, Nancy lets out a soft chuckle as Jonathan parks the car, now at his house. “She’s right, Jonathan. And who burns down houses these days? Tar really is the best form of revenge.” 

“I’m flattered, Wheeler. At the rate you’re going, you’ll be off my shitlist in no time.” You tell her, patting her on the shoulder before getting out of the car. You quickly open up the trunk and gather the monster hunting supplies while Jonathan and Nancy take their time getting out. 

You let yourself into the Byers home using your own key to the place. It’s been nestled in between the key to your house and the spare key to Jonathan’s car on your keychain for a few years now. 

The first thing you get started on are the lights. There’s hundreds of them to get through, but you drop your supplies and begin screwing them in one by one. Nancy and Jonathan come in soon after and silently begin to help. 

No conversation is made besides the necessary comments about the prep work. You’re all too focused on the possibility of what could happen next; the danger of the situation has finally set in. After the lights have all been fixed, you instruct Jonathan to begin nailing the bear trap down while you and Nancy discuss where to pour the gasoline. You both agree to make a path from the living room to Will’s room. 

As Nancy pours the gasoline, you follow behind her and pick up any flammables. You weren't lying to Jonathan earlier, you really don’t want to burn his house down. While the house is wrecked, it’s still a home despite everything that’s happened in it. You practically grew up within its walls, you’d do anything to keep it as protected as possible. 

When you’re done, you watch Nancy load her gun. A shiver runs down our spine; she looks at ease with it, which you figure should be reassuring, but the gravity of everything leaves you feeling on edge. You leave her alone and walk into the kitchen where Jonathan is, now hammering a ton of nails into his bat. 

You begin to sharpen your blades next to him, still finding that you only feel secure by his side. The rhythmic sound of his hammering calms you, in a sense. It serves as a distraction. You know you insisted on coming, you don’t regret it and you know you’re stronger than everyone seems to give you credit for, but you’re also terrified. This isn’t just some adventure in the woods; this could kill the ones you love dearly. 

Once you’re both done preparing your weapons, the two of you walk to Will’s room and rig up a simple snare. Jonathan grabs a yo-yo and you pull up a chair to set it on. The idea is that when the string gets pulled, it’ll alert you that the monster has sprung the bear trap. It’s not the most efficient warning system, but it’ll have to do. 

The last thing to do is set the bear trap, which takes all three of you to achieve. Jonathan and Nancy hold down the edges with their body weight and you very carefully set the trap with your hand. You shake a bit as you do so, but you force your nerves down. You remind yourself that Jonathan thinks you’re too weak, too cowardly, you have to prove him wrong. 

When the bear trap clicks into place, you let out a harsh exhale and sink against the wall, your heart still pounding. Jonathan and Nancy copy you and the three of you sit in silence. You’re still shaking a bit, and Jonathan is next to you just as tense, but for the first time since you’ve met him you can’t reach out to grab his hand to steady yourself. He’s too far, both literally and figuratively. Even with him next to you, you couldn’t be more far apart. 

In the back of your mind, you hope the kids are alright. Hopefully they’re having a better night than you currently are. 

“C’mon,” you say after a few minutes, getting up to walk over to the living room. “We’ve done all we can, now we just have to draw some blood and be the prettiest bait in Hawkins.”

– 

Nancy and Jonathan decide to cut the palm of their hands, but you respectfully would rather die than have a matching scar with them. The idea makes you so uncomfortable you visibly cringe when Jonathan tells you the idea. “Yeah, no thanks. I think I’ll find somewhere else to cut.” 

He looks hurt by what you’ve said but doesn’t voice it. Instead, the three of you stand in the living room in a triangle facing each other and he begins reciting the plan. “Remember…”

Nancy goes first. “Straight into Will’s room and–” 

“Don’t step on the trap.” You finish.

Jonathan nods. “And then?”

“Wait for the yo-yo to move.” The girl says. 

“Then…” Jonathan flicks the lighter on.

You whistle low. “Let there be light…” 

“Right. Light.” The boy nods again. “Alright, we ready?”

“Ready.”

“Scar time.” 

Jonathan and Nancy bring their hands up and place their knives flat against their palms. You roll up your sleeve and place your own knife against the upper part of your arm, just below your shoulder, and take a deep breath. 

“On three,” Jonathan says. He begins counting and you all can’t seem to stop shaking. He senses your unease and looks up at you and Nancy. “You guys don’t have to do this.”

Nancy glares at him, her own voice shaky. “Jonathan, stop talking.”

You nod. “Yeah, what she said.”

Jonathan tries to argue, but Nancy squeezes her eyes shut and yells, “Three!”

You close your own eyes and slice at your arm, the pain immediate. You gasp out, never having been good with pain, but you know you have to do this for Will. The blood trails down your arm, dripping from your elbow onto the ground, and you watch as blood from Jonathan’s and Nancy’s own cuts falls onto the ground too. 

Well, at least it’ll be an easy scar to hide compared to theirs. 

“Fuck, that stings.” You say to break the silence, and Nancy nods her head in agreement. 

“Not the most pleasant feeling.” 

Jonathan guides the two of you over to the couch and grabs the first aid kit that you had prepared on the coffee table. He sits in the middle, leaving room for both you and Nancy on each side of him, but you’re still pissed at him and opt to sit on the floor in front of the couch.

Nancy begins to patch up his wound, and it takes everything within you not to reach over and help him yourself. It feels unnatural to watch someone else taking care of him, but the space between you still feels too vast to cross. 

You patch up your own cut while the two of them talk quietly. You wind a bandage tight around your arm, ensuring you won’t bleed through, and Jonathan watches above you with guilt in his eyes. Nancy is trying to reassure him that everything will be okay, but as he watches you struggle to tie the bandage he wonders if he’s fucked up more than just your friendship.

“Bug, let me help with that.” He leans down and ties your bandage before you can stop him. 

You glare at him, still having not said anything to Jonathan besides what was needed for preparation. Nancy distracts herself by cleaning up around his cut and your stomach twists into knots. This is all so miserable. 

“Y/N, I know you’re upset with me and you can go whenever. I won’t blame you, you’ve done enough for me.” Jonathan says, trying to catch your eye. 

You turn away and inspect your bandage, still reeling over the fact that he tied it for you. “I’m here for Will, and only Will.”

“Y/N…” There’s a hurt in his voice that almost makes you turn around to throw your arms around his neck and whisper a million apologies to him. To tell him everything, that you love him and that you’d do anything for him and that’s why you’re so terrified of how you feel. You know you’d burn yourself up if it meant he’d be taken care of, if it meant he was safe and happy and far away from anything that could harm him. You know you’d use up everything within you to love him. 

Instead, you remain silent.

After getting no response from you, Jonathan clears his throat and begins to say something about how the lights will serve as an alarm for the monster, trying to pretend that everything is okay, but he’s cut off by a sudden pounding on the door.

You all jump and your fingers tighten around your switchblade, ready to open it. As your heart pounds you think of all the possible ways the plan could go wrong. When you’re on possibility number twelve, a voice calls through the door. 

“Jonathan?”

“Is that… Steve?” You say out loud, in complete disbelief. 

Steve continues to pound on the door. “Are you there, man? It’s… It’s Steve! Listen, I just wanna talk!”

You’re the first to react, standing up to run over to the door. You fling it open and step outside, making sure Steve won’t be able to see inside the house. When he sees you, he stumbles back a bit. “Henderson?”

His face is still bleeding from earlier and his hair is a mess, and yet there’s a softness to him that you haven’t seen before with him. “Steve, now isn’t really a good time.”

“Can I just talk to Jonathan real quick? I just… I want to apologize about what happened earlier, see if we can maybe–” His eyes land on your bandaged arm. You curse and roll down your sleeve, feeling like an idiot for forgetting to hide the wound before going outside. 

Steve reaches out to touch it, a hint of worry on his face and his voice is now full of concern. “Hey, are you okay?”

You shiver at his touch, it’s gentle as he skims along the bandage and inspects it for any other problems. You pull away, now hiding the wound. “It’s nothing, but you should really go.”

“I want to help you, Y/N. Do you need me to get you anything?” His face is so full of worry for you that it makes you ache. Then a thought occurs to him. “Wait, where’s Byers? Why isn’t he here to help you?”

You’re about to make up a lie, but Nancy flings the door open. “Steve, listen to me.”

He looks between the two of you in complete shock. “Okay, what–”

“You need to leave.” Nancy orders.

Steve looks at you. “I’m not trying to start anything, okay?”

“I know, but–” You get cut off by Nancy.

“I don’t care about that. You need to leave.”

Steve begins to plead with the girl and you step away a bit, not wanting to intrude. You feel bad for him, he looks so beat down by what’s happened today and you suppose that you can’t really blame him. After spending maybe a total of ten hours with Nancy and Jonathan, you also have come close to losing your mind. 

If you were with Jonathan, if you truly had him, you’d react the same as Steve. Begging for the girl he loves to listen to him, to give him another chance with the promise of him changing. 

“I just want to make things right.” Steve says, impressing you with his vulnerability. He’s openly admitting to his mistakes and taking accountability mere hours after the situation has occurred, leaving you both in awe of him and also saddened for him. He loves Nancy more than anything, you can hear it in his voice. 

He deserves better. 

As you’re thinking this, you see his eyes flicker down towards Nancy’s bandaged hand and his brows furrow. “What happened to your hand? Is that blood?” His eyes now flicker over to you again. “Why are you both hurt?”

“We’re clumsy?” You say as Nancy yanks her hand away from Steve.

“It was an accident.” She agrees. 

Steve looks between the two of you, now sensing that something else is wrong. “What’s going on?” 

“Nothing!” Nancy insists, but something in Steve’s demeanor shifts. 

“Wait a second, did he do this to you? To Y/N?” His once soft voice is now filled with anger and you step in front of him. 

“Steve, it wasn’t Jonathan. You need to go, I promise I’ll explain everything later–” 

He grabs you by your side and gently moves you so that he can get past and shove through the door. Nancy yells at him to stop and tries to push him out, but she’s useless against his strength. When he manages to break in, he stumbles inside and scans over the house. 

“Shit!” You follow after him, your brain running a million miles a second trying to figure out how to explain everything to him. 

“What the fuck?” Steve mumbles, eyeing the bat with nails in it. “Y/N, what’s going on here?”

He’s looking to you for reassurance and you guess he assumes that the two of you are allies in this Jonathan and Nancy situation. You really wish you could explain, but Jonathan has grabbed him by the shoulders and is trying to push him outside. The two stumble around for a few seconds and you just helplessly watch. 

“Steve, there’s no time to explain, please just listen to Jonathan and get out of here!” You’re helping Jonathan now, trying to get Steve out the door and away from harm’s reach, but he’s still fighting back confused and lost as ever and you pity him. 

You hear a click and turn around, gasping when you see Nancy holding her gun up to Steve. “Woah, what the fuck Nancy?”

“What! What is going on?” Steve yells, now more panicked than anything else. 

While Jonathan has stepped away, you find yourself standing in front of Steve as if to somehow block the bullet. You can’t let him get hurt, he doesn’t have any part of this, he can still have a normal and happy life if he just leaves now. “Nancy, put the fucking gun down, this isn’t helping!”

Steve pleads with her as well and the two of you scream at the girl to just listen and not swing around loaded weapons, but Nancy remains firm in her stance. “You have five seconds to get out of here. I’m doing this for you.”

“Because holding a gun to his head is any better than telling him the truth?” You exclaim, entirely over the situation. 

As the four of you are arguing, the lights begin to flicker. Steve and Nancy don’t seem to notice, but you do. You look at Jonathan and say your first real words to him in hours. “Jonathan…”

He hears you and he runs over to your side, grabbing your hand as the two of you stand shoulder to shoulder. You feel your heartbeat race and you can feel him shaking beside you. He’s terrified, so are you, but his hand around yours manages to steady you. 

“Nancy!” Jonathan tries to get the girl’s attention, but she’s too busy counting down to hear him. 

He shouts at her again and the lights start to flicker more wildly and you draw your switchblade out, adrenaline coursing through you. It’s time. 

Jonathan yells once more and finally catches Nancy’s attention. “The lights!”

She whips her head around and curses, Jonathan, still tightly holding your hand, tugs you along so that you follow him as he secures his weapons and grabs the bat. “It’s here.”

“What’s here?” Steve is flailing around, utterly lost.

You all ignore him and now stand back to back in a triangle. Nancy holds up her gun, Jonathan wields his bat, and you flick your wrist to bring out your knives. “Where is it?”

“I don’t know!” 

The lights flicker rapidly and you feel overwhelmed. They were supposed to serve as a guide towards the monster, but there's no possible way to see which direction it’ll come from and for a fleeting moment you think you’ve made a huge mistake. 

Steve is still screaming, demanding answers, but you’re too busy scanning your surroundings to offer him some information. “Hello? Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going–”

The roof opens up, cutting Steve off, and you scream as the monster attempts to come down right above you. Jonathan shields you from the fallen debris and you cling onto him in utter fear. This isn’t real. This cannot be happening. 

Nancy begins to shoot at the thing while Jonathan guides you to safety. He brings you to the edge of the living room and holds your face in his hands, forcing you to really look at him for the first time all night. “Listen to me, stay here while I get Nancy.”

He kisses your forehead and then leaves, rushing over to Nancy to pull her away and guide her towards Will’s room. Steve stands next to you, frozen, and it forces you back to reality. The plan, you have to stick to the plan. 

You grab Steve’s hand and yank him so that he follows. The monster has dropped down now, a horrible creature on all fours that opens its gaping mouth to let out a horrible screech that you feel deep within your bones. This is what killed Barb. 

The four of you run to Will’s room and you only just barely have enough time to warn Steve about the bear trap. You look over your shoulder and shout, “Jump!” right as your ankle catches on its chains. 

You fall. Hard. 

Pain sears through your ankle and you try to get up, but any pressure on it sends flames through your entire body and you let out another scream. The monster catches up, looming over you, and you brace for your death. There’s no fucking way you’re getting out of this. 

You squeeze your eyes as the monster stalks close to you, its ugly mouth open and ready to kill you. Jonathan is screaming at you to get up, but Nancy is holding him back from helping. You’re relieved by this, knowing that someone has to be there for Will once this is all done. He’ll need his brother, and Nancy seems to understand this. You catch her eye and nod at her, sending a silent thank you. 

“Bug! No, let go of me! I have to help her, Nancy!” Jonathan’s voice becomes hoarse by how loud he screams, his voice breaking with fear and desperation. 

Then, right before the monster lunges at you, you feel a familiar pair of arms slide underneath your legs and pick you up. “What–”

Steve Harrington has swooped in to save you, picking you up as if you weigh nothing, ever the athlete, and swiftly jumps over the bear trap while screaming his head off. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!”

You’re so delirious from the pain in your ankle and the adrenaline pumping through your veins that you can’t help but let a laugh escape you. No fucking way is any of this real. Steve Harrington is carrying you bridal style into Will’s bedroom with Jonathan and Nancy as witnesses. 

What a life. 

Once you’re both secured in the room, Steve sets you down gently right as Nancy yells at him to shut up. As soon as Steve lets go of you, Jonathan is at your side and pulls you into a crushing hug. 

“Bug.” He breathes out against your ear, relief heavy. 

“I’m okay.” You tell him, threading your fingers through his hair. He’s shaking harder than ever, and holding onto you as if he’s scared he’ll lose you again. “I’m okay, bee.” 

He pulls away and his hands are all over you, checking everywhere for any other injuries. “Did it hurt you, are you bleeding? There should be a first aid kit–”

You grab his hands and kiss his knuckles, which seems to calm him down a bit. “I’m fine, just twisted my ankle. If you help me up, I’m sure I’ll be able to stand again.” 

Jonathan quickly helps you to your feet and you lean against him for the extra support. While you put on a brave face for Jonathan, you’re terrified out of your fucking mind. You almost died. Jonathan is still holding your hand and he’s looking at you as if seeing you for the first time and you force yourself to look away. It’s the same look from the field days ago, when you thought he’d kiss you. 

You have to focus on what’s at stake.

How the hell are you guys supposed to kill this thing?

The monster screeches, breaking the moment between you and Jonathan, and he flicks his lighter on and forces you to stand behind him. Nancy holds up her gun and you bring your knives closer to your face, Steve standing weaponless behind you. 

You all wait, tense, for the monster. It stalks closer to the room, its awful growls alerting you of its proximity, but it doesn’t appear. 

“What’s it doing?” Nancy asks, frustrated. 

“I don’t know.” You respond, equally as frustrated and scared. 

Another few agonizing seconds pass, and you stare at the yo-yo and hope that it remains still. Then, the lights stop flickering and it becomes quiet. All you can hear is your blood roaring in your ears. 

Nancy looks around. “Do you hear anything?”

“No,” Jonathan shakes his head, inching closer to the door. 

“Wait!” You tug at your still interlocked hands. You pick up his bat that had been thrown on the ground and hand it to him. “Be careful. Please.”

He gives your hand one last squeeze before letting go, accepting the bat.

As Jonathan pokes his head out to see if the monster is outside, Steve bends his head down and whispers in your ear, “Romantic.”

“Shut. Up.” You hit him in the chest, fearfully watching your best friend to make sure he doesn't die. When he motions an all clear, Nancy follows him outside, then you, then Steve. 

The house is silent and your heart sinks when you see that the bear trap has been left untouched. You realize with a horrible gut wrench that the monster is smarter than the three of you had anticipated. 

So much for your plan, then.

“It’s smarter than we thought.” 

“Yeah,” Jonathan agrees with dismay. 

He stalks against the wall towards the living room and you all follow in a single file line. You do your best to stick close to the wall but you limp with every step. Your ankle is definitely out of commission for now. Great. 

All of you are on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It couldn’t have been that easy, there’s no possible way that the monster simply up and left. You enter the living room, which has gotten even more wrecked due the monster. The wallpaper has been torn off of some parts of the wall and you see papers scattered everywhere. 

“Shit…” you mumble, kicking at a shredded wallpaper strip. 

In the corner, Steve has started to hyperventilate and mumble to himself. “This is crazy, this is so crazy, this is fucking crazy.” 

You limp over to him and grab his shoulders, making him face you. “Steve, hey. It’s okay, I’m here.”

“Y/N, what the hell just happened?” 

“It’s… complicated. For now, can you trust me that everything will be okay?” 

“Of course I trust you, it’s just…” He nods, his eyes softening. You lessen your hold on him and give him a smile, he seems to be calming down. Then, he looks around the room and seemingly remembers where he is. “This is crazy!” 

Steve lunges for the phone on the wall and tries to call for help. 

You stumble after him, the pain in your ankle slowing you down. “Steve, wait–”

Nancy gets to him first, grabbing the phone out of his hand and throwing it across the room. He looks at her, shocked. “What are you doing? Are you insane?”

“It’s going to come back!” Nancy yells at him, and you wince at the way she treats him. You know Steve will only listen to her, but she could at least be nicer about the whole situation. The three of you have had some time to process everything happening, Steve was thrown into the deep end. 

“You could be a little nicer,” you mumble, and Nancy sends you a glare. You raise your hands up in surrender. “Sorry.” 

“Steve, you need to leave. Right now.”

He looks so overwhelmed and you give him a pitying look. He stares at you, reminiscent of the way he looked at you earlier in the alley, silently begging you to say something, anything, but again you can only shake your head at him. You won’t force him to stay, it wouldn’t be fair.

“Y/N, please…” He tries one more time to get you on his side, but you can’t. Frustrated by your lack of response, Steve groans. “Fuck it!” 

He runs out the door. 

You’ll admit that you’re a bit disappointed, but you also understand. Who in their right mind would stay? 

You and Nancy share a look before the lights begin to flicker again. Dread fills you. “Fuck…”

Jonathan is back by your side and he and Nancy again form a triangle with you, all your backs pressed together as you desperately try to locate the monster. You all stumble in a circle, searching for any sign of the thing, but there’s nothing. 

“Where is it?” Nancy gasps out.

“Just fucking show yourself!” You shout, just wanting this all to be over with. Your body is drained from living in a state of fear for so long. 

“Come on you son of a bitch!” Jonathan echoes your taunts. 

Suddenly the lights turn off and you’re left alone in complete darkness. Faintly you can hear the monster’s familiar growl approaching from behind you. The hair on the back of your neck stands up, the air stands still. It’s back. Before you can react, it pounces on Jonathan. 

“Jonathan!” You scream alongside Nancy. Desperation takes over you and before you can even process what’s happening, you ignore the pain in your ankle and jump onto its back, stabbing repeatedly at it. 

Your blades only bounce off of its thick skin and the monster struggles to get you off. You hold on as tight as you can, shouting and kicking at it so that it can’t hurt him, but then it opens its mouth and for a horrifying moment you’re afraid that Jonathan will die.

“No!” You scream even louder than before and double down on your effort, stabbing and slashing as much as you possibly can to try and create some damage, but your arms are starting to ache and your ankle now feels like it’s on fire. 

“Nancy, its skin is too thick!” You sob out, nearing complete exhaustion. Then, just as you’re about to collapse from exhaustion, gunshots fill the room. 

Nancy begins to shoot at the monster and with the help of your blades, the two of you manage to pierce its skin, but even then the damage is minimal. It’s not enough, it won’t be enough. Tears stream down your face and the monster only gets closer to Jonathan, so you do the only thing you can think of: you crawl onto the top of its body and stab at its mouth. 

The monster lets out a blood curdling scream and flings you off of its back. You go flying across the room and land against the wall with a groan. All the air has been knocked out of you and your ribs are definitely going to be bruised tomorrow. Every part of you aches, but you manage to lift your head up and blearily process the monster now approaching Nancy as she continues to shoot at it, but it remains unphased. 

You crawl over to Jonathan, who is still laying on the ground. He’s motionless, and you fight everything within you not to break down and sob. You have to keep going, he has to be alive. As you reach Jonathan and frantically check for a pulse, the monster has now cornered Nancy and her gun seems to be out of bullets.

It’s over. You know it is. 

Right as you’ve accepted your fate, a screaming Steve Harrington wielding Jonathan’s bat once again manages to save the day. 

He hits the monster with the bat, effectively saving Nancy and you’re so impressed with his batting skills that you almost find him attractive with how easily he hits and dodges the monster. However, you file those thoughts away for later and finally manage to wake Jonathan up. He startles with a gasp and you check over his chest, scared he may have gotten pierced by the monster’s claws. 

“I’m fine, we need to help.”

You help each other up and you have to lean heavily against him due to your ankle. You bull riding the monster has only made the sprain worse; you’re too afraid to look down and see the damage that’s been done. 

As the two of you hobble over to Nancy, Jonathan looks at you. “Is Harrington really here right now?”

“Yes.”

“Lovely.”

Steve manages to lure the monster closer and closer to the bear trap and you watch him in awe. He’s quick footed and so sure of himself, the complete opposite of the boy from only ten minutes ago who had run out of the house screaming his head off. Now, Steve is swift with his hits and even twirls the bat in his hand to show off. The small act causes you to smile despite the horrible circumstances. 

By the time you and Jonathan are up and recovered, Steve has successfully led the monster straight into the trap. It clamps around the monster’s foot and it screeches, flailing around in the trap. Steve still has his bat held up, now frantically looking over to everyone else. “He’s in the trap! He’s stuck!”

“Jonathan, now!” Nancy screams, motioning over at him to use his lighter. 

Jonathan listens, using his free hand to flick the lighter on and then drops it onto the ground, right into the trail of gasoline. Immediately the monster goes up in flames, letting out horrible noises. You all shield your faces from the flames and Jonathan pulls you closer into him, still having yet to let go of you; you feel yourself sink into his side as you watch the monster wither away.

“Bug, I have to get the fire extinguisher, do you think you can stand on your own?” Jonathan asks you, his voice soft but urgent. 

You quickly nod and brace yourself for his departure. “Yeah, go.” 

He lets go of you as gently as possible before running to grab the extinguisher. When he has it, he orders everyone to get back and then smothers the flames. It takes a couple seconds, but eventually the fire gets put out, leaving behind an awful stench that makes everyone cough and gag. 

“Holy fuck,” you wheeze out, hunched over. “Burnt monster smells horrible.” 

“Yeah, no kidding.” Steve coughs out. 

Nancy covers her face with her jacket. “Where did it go?”

“It has to be dead.” Jonathan pants against the wall, looking like he’s three seconds away from passing out. “It has to be.”

“It fucking better be dead.” You mumble, hobbling closer to see what exactly was left behind. When you get closer and see the giant lump of melted skin all over the bear trap, you gag. “Oh god. Yeah, okay. It’s dead.”

Everyone sighs with relief. 

Then, you notice a Christmas light above you flicker on. Your heart stops, terrified that the monster has somehow survived, but then a second one turns on, then a third, until a path seems to be guiding you towards the living room. 

You all follow, cautious but curious, but these lights don’t feel threatening. There’s an energy to them, a comforting one that leaves you breathless. When you get to the living room, tears form in your eyes, now understanding what this all is. You look at Jonathan, who also seems to be thinking what you are. 

It’s Joyce, you know it is. 

“Mom,” he breathes out. 

You limp over to him and grab his hand. He turns to you, his eyes shining with an appreciation that he only ever has for you. He seems to be drinking you in, as if now realizing just how close the two of you came to dying tonight. You’re doing the same, thankful that he’s alive and standing next to you despite everything. There’s so much the two of you want to say, but as always the words aren’t needed. You understand each other perfectly, the balance between you centered once more. 

You put your head on Jonathan’s shoulder and he brings his hand to your hair to softly stroke it. The two of you stand like that for a second, breathing each other in and enjoying the tenderness after such a miserable day, before you slowly break apart and follow the lights going outside. 

The porch light flickers and Nancy stands next to you, watching it with uncertainty. “Where’s it going?”

“I don’t think it’s the monster.” Jonathan tells her. 

“It’s Will.” You don’t know how you know this, or what makes you feel so certain that you’re right, but somehow you know that you are. Somewhere deep within you, you feel the faint outline of hope flicker. 

A new silence surrounds the four of you at your words, and for once there’s hope between you all. Then, after a minute or so of silence, everyone begins to head back inside. Steve first, then Nancy, and finally Jonathan, leaving you alone with the crisp early winter air.

You take a deep breath, the cold air serving as a reminder that you’re alive. You let it fill your lungs until you can’t breathe in anymore, then you release the air through an exhale and feel your body settle into its exhaustion. This is the first time you’ve had a moment to yourself, so you let the exhaustion weigh upon you like a warm blanket. 

Will is safe, you can feel it. Despite everything, he’s safe and alive. Jonathan is too, still your best friend regardless of all the unspoken words between the two of you. Dustin is at the school with the kids, away from danger. Everything is okay, it’ll be okay. 

You let the moment wash over you, incredibly grateful to be lucky enough to have survived it all. Everyone you love and hold close to you is safe. You didn’t fuck up this time. God, you did it. 

Jonathan comes running out after a while, his face alight with joy and he crashes into you and picks you up to twirl you around. You laugh, loud and freely, and bury your face in his hair as he continues. “Bee, stop! Put me down, you dummy!” 

He does as he’s told, but doesn’t let go of you once your feet are on the ground. “My mom just called, they saved Will. He–he’s in the hospital, he’s okay.” 

You squeal and throw your arms around Jonathan again, squeezing him so hard that you’re afraid you'll hurt him, but he simply laughs and squeezes you just as tight. Tears come again, but this time they’re happy ones, and if it weren’t for your ankle you’d be jumping up and down right now. 

Jonathan’s laughter dies down and he cups your chin around his fingers so that you look up at him. “You did it.” 

“We did it, bug.” You softly push against him. You can’t take all the credit. 

His eyes are shining again, you haven’t seen him this happy in so long, you get lost in it. His face is lit up and his smile is back and you’re so in love with him that it claws against your throat and threatens to spill out in excess.

A beat of silence passes and Jonathan just soaks your presence in. You can’t quite read his face, but for once this doesn’t frighten you. You enjoy it, you relish in the fact that he’s still yours yet now forming into someone new and lovely and wonderful. 

“You never gave up.” He whispers at last, adoration in his voice. 

“Never.” 

“You never left me.” 

“Never.” You breathe out, the word so simple with such heavy weight behind it. 

The moment is so raw, so tender, and Jonathan is giving you that look again, the one that leaves you feeling like the sun itself has settled upon you and kissed your cheek. His eyes flick down to your lips and you smile, taunting him to lean in. He seems to understand, giving you his own teasing smile before leaning in. You lean in as well, every part of you buzzing, and right before your lips touch his, Steve bursts through the door.

“Jonathan, dude, do you have like, any food in the house?” He asks, completely oblivious to what he’s just interrupted. 

You and Jonathan break apart, laughing the tension away. He ducks his head down, clears his throat, and turns to Steve. “Sorry, man. Been a little busy this week for grocery shopping.”

Steve’s eyes bulge out of his head. “Oh shit, right. Sorry, okay. Uh… Well, I’ll be inside, I guess.” 

“We’ll be in shortly.” You tell Steve. You want to be frustrated by his timing, but something tells you that you’ll have all the time in the world to tell Jonathan how you feel. Now just isn’t the time. 

– 

The moment you arrive at the hospital, Jonathan sprints out of the car and straight towards the front desk to find out where Will is. You and Nancy follow behind, figuring you won’t be able to see Will for a while since you’re not blood related, so the two of you wish Jonathan goodbye and head towards the waiting room. 

Steve lags behind, obviously unsure where to go. Nancy immediately walks inside, but you notice his hesitation and nudge his shoulder. “I’m sure that the cut on your eyebrow needs to be looked out. Let’s go sit, okay?”

He sighs deeply. “Yeah, sure. Totally. Let’s go sit in a room full of people who probably hate me. No biggie.”

“Either come or don’t.” You shrug. “But the way I see it, you can start mending some metaphorical wounds while you wait in there.”

You don’t wait for Steve to figure out what to do, you know that Dustin is somewhere inside the waiting room and you’re buzzing to see him and the rest of the kids. You hobble inside, still very much in pain due to your injuries, but the moment you see your brother it all fades away. 

He runs into your arms and almost knocks you down with the force. Dustin clings onto you, mumbling over and over again how sorry he is. 

“Hey, wait a second,” you pull him away and crouch down, groaning a bit at the pain. “What are you sorry about? What happened?”

You look around the room and see everyone there. Nancy, Hopper, the kids, Steve, even Nancy’s parents, but there’s someone missing…

“El,” you breathe out. 

Dustin’s lip trembles and he begins to cry. You soothe him, grabbing his hand to bring him over to the seats and sit between him and Mike. Lucas is to the left of Dustin and you can’t help but notice how all the boys have dried tears in their eyes. 

When they’re ready, you have the kids explain what happened, and the more they tell you, the more guilty you feel. You should’ve been there for them, you left them all alone with that monster. You got Will back, and yet you’ve lost El as a result. It seems that no matter what you do, it’ll never quite be enough in the end. 

“It’s not your fault.” You tell Dustin, who still keeps apologizing. It was you who had left him in charge, you’re why El ended up vanquished by the monster. “You did everything you could. I shouldn’t have left you guys all alone, but I’m proud that you all took care of one another, okay?”

He sniffs and nods his head, but you know he doesn’t believe you. All the boys are somber; you know it’ll take time for them to recover. So, you do what you do best, you console them. You hold their hands and rub their backs and offer your spare comics in your bag. You do whatever you can to comfort them, to reassure them that they’re safe now and that no one will hurt them, but the light in their eyes has dimmed. 

They’ll never be the same again. 

And El… she had been so young, you don’t think you’ll ever not feel the heavy weight of guilt whenever you think of her. She had been so sweet and had trusted you. 

You should’ve been there, you wish you could’ve saved her.

Steve watches from his seat across from you. He listens in as you comfort the boys, taking care of them in such a natural way. He admires this softer side of you, one he hasn’t quite seen before. Sure, you’ve always been gentle and sincere, but watching you with the kids is something special in itself. You manage to get them to laugh, you offer them your shoulder to cry or sleep on, and you read aloud to them stories from your comics and Steve finds himself drawn towards your interactions with the kids. 

It’s sweet, something delicate and lovely, and Steve admires everything that you are. When he sees you awkwardly stand up and stumble over to the vending machines in the hall, Steve finds himself following after you. 

-

“Bitch!” You slam the palm of your hand against the vending machine in vain. The bag of chips hangs by the little spiral, taunting you. 

“That’s not a very nice word, Henderson.” 

You turn and see Steve, leaning against the wall with a fond expression. “You stalking me?”

“Nah, just wanted to watch you fight against a vending machine.”

“Ha,” you snort, turning back to the machine. “Unless you can help me get this last chip bag, you’re free to go sit back down.”

You mean it to be a joke, not expecting Steve to actually listen, but he’s at your side within a second. “Step back, let Steve handle her.” 

“What–”

Steve motions for you to move, so you reluctantly do as you’re told. Once you’re out of the way, Steve claps his hands, stretches out his neck, and then begins to aggressively shake the vending machine. 

“That is so not what you’re supposed to do–”

Suddenly the bag drops down from the hook and into the retrieval slot. Steve reaches inside, grabs the bag, and then dangles it in the air. “Tada!” 

You laugh and grab the bag from him. “Okay, I’ll admit, that was impressive.” 

“What can I say? I’m charming like that.” 

“Sure,” you smile at him, neither of you have moved yet. He’s still standing in front of you with that cocky smile on his face that’s slowly started to warm on you. You truly do understand why so many girls have fallen for him. If you ever saw Steve on the street, a stranger passing by, you’d fall a little bit in love with him yourself.

The thought startles you. “Well, uh…”

“Yes?” Steve raises his eyebrows at you, smiling. 

“Thank you for the chips. The kids haven’t eaten anything in hours, so…” You wave the three bags in your arms. “Gotta keep 'em fed.”

“Wait a second, there’s only three bags there. Aren’t you going to eat anything?”

“I only had enough money for the boy’s chips.” You say, feeling suddenly sheepish. “It’s fine, though. I’ll just eat a few pieces from them and wait until we get home.”

Steve scoffs. “Yeah, no.”

You frown at him, confused as he rustles through his jean pocket and pulls out his wallet. “I don’t want your money–”

He doesn’t listen and simply puts the cash into the vending machine and punches in a few numbers. Slowly, one by one, multiple different bags of sweets and chips come falling down within the machine. Once the last one has dropped, Steve bends down and offers the huge stash to you. 

“A feast, on me.” He winks at you and you can’t help but blush. 

“T–thanks, I guess.” You now carefully balance the rest of the snacks in your arms, the mound almost blocking your view. You’re not sure how much Steve just paid, but with all these snacks you and the kids will surely be well fed. 

Steve shrugs, and if you weren’t so tired you’d think the blush on his face was a real one. “It’s the least I can do, all things considered.”

His words give you pause. You know he’s referencing earlier today, back in the alley where fists slammed against skin and he had dragged you away from your best friend, but the memory feels like years ago. So much has happened since then, Steve has saved your life since then. 

“Steve…” Your ankle is starting to sting again from standing for so long, so you adjust your footing and try to figure out what you want to say. “I never got to thank you back at Jonathan’s.”

“Thank me?” His face scrunches in confusion in a sickeningly cute way that it almost distracts you.

“Yes. You saved my life tonight, Steve. I won’t ever forget that.” 

“Oh…There’s no need to thank me. I mean, what are friends for?” Steve freezes and clears his throat. “I mean, shit. We aren’t friends, you keep saying that. Sorry. You know what I mean.”

You know you shouldn’t, but you laugh. Honestly, after everything you’ve been through tonight with Steve, how can he possibly think the two of you aren’t friends?

“Why are you laughing?” Steve mumbles, confused. 

“Sorry,” you wheeze out, still uncontrollably laughing. “It’s just–I mean, dude! We almost died together, of course we’re friends now!”

“We are?” He looks like a little kid on Christmas day being given the gift he’s always wanted.

Your heart warms. “Yes, idiot.”

Steve starts moving around in what you can only guess is a happy dance. “Sweet! Does this mean I get a cool nickname, too?”

“A nickname?” A bag of chips threatens to fall from your arms, but Steve catches it before it can land on the ground and takes a few more snacks off of your hands. 

He readjusts the snacks he now has so that he can carry them easier. “Yeah, I mean. Byers has one, why can’t I?”

You don’t think you’ll ever stop feeling so thrown every time Steve mentions a small detail about you that he’s somehow come to notice. He has a habit of doing that, surprising you by how much he seems to pay attention to you. You thought that no one ever had before, but Steve continues to prove you wrong. 

“I’ll tell ya what,” you begin to walk back towards the waiting room, careful to step carefully to not drop anything or upset your ankle. “Let’s see how this ‘friends’ thing works out, then I’ll decide what nickname fits you best. Deal?”

Steve thinks for a moment and follows. “Hmm. I don’t know, I think I’ll need some type of precaution to make sure you give me a nickname in the end. I want one, Y/N. I’m so serious right now.”

You laugh at his pleading tone. “I can add you to my baking list. Whatever I bake, you’ll get a piece of it. Is that better?”

“God, yes!” Steve punches the air and cheers. 

You’re smiling so much that your face aches. You haven’t felt this light and carefree in so long, you’d almost forgotten what it’s like. The two of you don’t say anything else as you walk back to the waiting room, though Steve seems to slow down so that you don’t hurt your ankle keeping up, though you still let out a few winces and groans.

When you’ve arrived back at your seat, Steve sets down the snacks and runs off without another word. You’re confused by his sudden departure but don’t think much of it. Instead, you wake the boys up and show them your array of snacks, which wakes them up immediately. 

You’re mediating a fight between Mike and Lucas over who gets the bag of Chips Ahoy when a nurse interrupts. “Excuse me, ma’am. This young man over here told me I should come over and check out your ankle?”

The woman smiles and you look past her and see Steve sheepishly waving from his seat across from you. You’re stunned. Had he really gone out of his way to ensure your ankle gets treated?

You shake the thoughts out of your head and inform the woman all she needs to know. You tell her how you’d fallen and what type of pain you feel when you stand up. She inspects the ankle, her fingers cold but kind, and within a few minutes has diagnosed you with a sprained ankle. 

“All you can really do is stay off of it for a few weeks while it heals. I can go and get you some crutches, if you’d like?” She asks, rolling her gloves off and tucking them back into her pocket.

You nod. “If you wouldn’t mind, that’d be great.”

The nurse leaves with the promise of being back soon. In the meantime she instructs you to keep your ankle elevated, so you prop it against the coffee table and wait. You’re annoyed that you even have to have crutches, but then you think of Barb, of El. You’re luckier than you should be. 

– 

After an hour or so, Jonathan opens the door to the waiting room. He spots you and Mike talking softly with each other and whistles over to catch your attention. When Mike looks up, Jonathan nods at him and the boy scrambles out of his seat. 

“Guys! Guys! He’s up, Will is up!” Mike shakes awake Lucas and Dustin, who had been cuddling on the seats fast asleep. “Will’s up!”

Once they’re awake, they quickly follow after Mike and the three boys are gone in an instant, sprinting down the hall towards Will’s room. Clearly they’re eager to see their friend. 

You do your best to get up as fast as possible, but your new crutches serve more as a nuisance rather than an aid. As you struggle to get up, somehow knocking over the mountain of snacks, Steve rushes over. 

He grabs the crutches and offers you his hand. “Here, careful.”

“Thanks,” you awkwardly accept his hand and get up. Jonathan watches from the doorway, a curious look on his face. Nancy does the same from her seat, not saying a word as she watches Steve gently help you navigate the waiting room with your injury. 

Jonathan holds the door open for you and takes over once you’re out the door. He grabs the crutches from Steve and is now the one to hold your hand, balancing you. “I can take it from here, Harrington.”

“Right, yeah.” Steve scratches the back of his head and coughs. “I’ll just… yeah.” 

He heads back inside and you and Jonathan watch as he leaves. As soon as he’s out of earshot, Jonathan turns to you. “Are you two friends now or something?”

“We almost died tonight, bee. I think it’s safe to call Steve a friend now.”

Jonathan bites his lip, though there’s a far off look in his eye that leaves you feeling like you’ve missed something in the conversation. “Guess that’s true. Anyways, let’s get you to Will.”

By the time you make it to the room, the boys have swarmed around Will and are telling him everything he’s missed this week. He’s listening eagerly as they’re telling him about El, but when he sees you enter the room, his eyes light up and he tries to sit up. 

“Y/N!” Will calls out, pure excitement in his voice. 

You practically fall over in your haste to get to him. The second you’re close enough, you collapse onto his bed and give him the tightest hug you possibly can without hurting him. He feels so small against you, smaller than he’s ever felt before, and his sunken eyes and pale skin make you want to cry. 

But he’s alive and here and in your arms once again, happy and wonderful and safe. 

“Little bee,” you try not to cry, but tears are thick in your voice. “I missed you.”

Will manages a weak smile and shrugs, trying to play off the gravity of the situation. “Took a little detour home.” 

You laugh and ruffle his hair. “At least you came home, that’s all that matters.”

“Ahem,” Mike obnoxiously clears his throat, effectively ending your moment with Will. “You’re hogging Will, move over.” 

You laugh again and move away, allowing the boys to resume their millions of updates. You maneuver your crutches and walk over to Jonathan, who is standing by the door. He’s looking at the boys and Will with a soft smile on his face and you join him, standing side by side as you watch your boys finally come together again. 

Then, you feel a pair of eyes on you and you turn around. Nancy is leaning against the doorway behind you; she looks frail and distraught. There’s a sadness in her eyes as she watches the kids. You know that watching the boys reunite with their friend must remind her of Barb. She never got her happy reunion. 

You feel awful for the girl, so when her bittersweet smile drops and she turns to leave the room, you nudge Jonathan to make him aware of the situation. He sees her fleeing and begins to follow after her, but he stops. 

“What are you waiting for? Go.” You tell him, knowing it’s for the best. 

He shifts his weight, uncertain. “Are you sure?”

You’re not sure how to decipher the hidden meanings underneath those three words, but you find that you’re exhausted trying to keep reading between the lines. The feelings you’ve kept buried bubble to the surface, but you remind yourself that he loves Nancy, despite your weird moments of almost with him. There’s something there between you and Jonathan, you both can feel it, but it feels too raw and fragile to bring into the light. 

Without having to ask, you know that Jonathan will choose her. 

It breaks your heart, but you look over at Dustin and Will, who are laughing about some joke while Joyce gazes at them fondly, and you know that you can’t lose this. Maybe Jonathan knows this, too. The small family you’ve built together, it’s too precious to ruin. 

Joyce and your boys, you can’t lose them. They’re yours, and Jonathan is yours in a way that you can’t quite keep to yourself forever, but for now it’s enough. You approach Joyce, grab her hand and give her a tired smile, and the smile she returns to you reminds you that this is more than enough for you. 

You turn to Jonathan, pushing down your feelings once more in favor of appreciating the fact that Will is looking at you again, alive. “Go, bee.” 

Jonathan gives you one last look. You study his face for a moment, watching as it shifts from confusion, to hurt, then finally into acceptance. You’ll never be sure of what exactly he’d been thinking in that moment, but it seemed to have been enough for him, too.

He smiles, lets out a deep breath, and then leaves.

The door closes softly behind him. 

– 

A month later you find yourself in the passenger seat of Jonathan's car, tired from your shift at Bookstrordinary but excited to pick up your brothers. Somehow, even after missing three consecutive shifts last month, Mrs. Waters refused to fire you. 

But Jonathan? He hadn’t been so lucky. His boss fired him from the Hawk, but he hadn’t been too upset. He still drives you to and from work, so you suppose things could be worse. 

It’s late, but the two of you take your time driving to the Wheeler’s. Nothing much has changed between you two following Will’s reappearance. Sure, maybe you’re at his house more just to make sure Will is adapting well, but besides that everything seemed to go back to normal. 

Well, almost normal. 

Steve appeared at your job a few days after your conversation in the hospital. He had surprised you when you walked in, and when you asked what he was doing in a bookstore, Steve simply shrugged and said, “You can’t figure out my nickname if we don’t hang out, right? So, I’m here.”

He had become a regular at the store, stopping by whenever he could, and slowly the two of you became good friends. You’ve come to enjoy Steve’s presence, something that you never thought would ever happen. But he keeps you company as you work, he wanders around and explores the comics and books you recommend to him, and it’s nice having someone to goof off with. 

Plus, you did promise to add him to your baking list, so he’s also become your taste tester who happily eats any creation you bring in for him.

As for Nancy…

That was more of a sore subject for Jonathan. 

There was a few weeks following Will’s reappearance that you thought Jonathan and Nancy would get together, but it never happened. You’re not quite sure why, maybe it had something to do with Jonathan’s hesitation of approaching her, but it had crushed him when you and he saw Nancy and Steve making out in the hall as if nothing bad had ever happened. 

The way Jonathan’s face crumbled when he saw the couple only solidified that he’d never be yours, but you comforted him anyways. You told him he deserved better and then dragged him away. It’d taken him a few days, but eventually Jonathan was able to fake a smile again. 

You haven’t spoken about it since that day, but you leave your window open most nights for him to crawl in. The nightmares from that night fighting the monster plague you both, and the loneliness feels a little heavier than usual, but at least you have each other. 

“Jonathan! Y/N! Come in, the boys are downstairs.” Mrs. Wheeler answers the door, letting the two of you in. “And Y/N, I love that sweater on you.”

You thank the woman. “It was a gift from my mom. She claims I need to up my wardrobe, whatever that means.”

“Well, I think she has lovely taste.” 

“I’ll let you know you think so!” You open the basement door and motion for Jonathan to go down first. 

When he reaches the bottom of the steps, Jonathan makes a face. “Woah, what’s that smell? Have you guys been playing games all day, or just farting?”

“My vote is farting.” You say, hopping down the last step. Your ankle has mostly healed by now, but sometimes if you land on it wrong it makes a weird clicking noise followed by some pain, but you choose to pretend that it’s normal. 

The boys laugh and Lucas points at your brother. “Oh, that’s just Dustin. He farted.”

He begins making fart noises with his mouth and you and Dustin share a look. “Very mature, Lucas.”

The boy continues to sing and make fart noises and you can’t believe that this is your life. You’re standing in a smelly basement while picking up your stubborn brother all while simultaneously enjoying the fact that you get to call this your life. 

Jonathan calls over to Will to grab his things, so you follow suit and gently berate Lucas. “Alright, that’s enough. I gotta get Dustin home.”

“What, I thought I got to stay–”

“Jonathan is our ride and I made cookies, so let’s go.”

The moment the word “cookies” leaves your mouth, Dustin hops up and collects his things without any further argument. 

Once he’s ready, he and Lucas play wrestle as they say goodbye. While they’re distracted, you walk over to Mike and discreetly hand him a container full of double fudge brownies. You’d specifically made them for him, knowing they were his favorite, because you noticed how hard it’s been for him to adjust to El being gone. He really cared about her, anyone could see that. 

Mike’s eyes widen and he throws his arms around you. “Thanks, Y/N.”

You pat his back. “Anytime, Wheeler.”

Dustin breaks away from Lucas and runs up the stairs, so you take that as your cue to leave. 

Upstairs, Jonathan and Will are talking to Mrs. Wheeler. When they see you enter, the woman turns to you and asks if you’ll be bringing over your usual round of holiday treats. “Of course, I’ll get started on them tomorrow. You guys still like the sugar cookies?”

“If you make them, I think I’ll die of happiness.” Mrs. Wheeler informs you, and you laugh and tell her that you’ll have them ready as soon as possible. 

You bid her goodbye, Dustin now by your side, and you follow Jonathan and Will to the front door. Right before you open the door, Nancy calls Jonathan’s name from the top of the stairs. 

“Hey, Jonathan, wait up!” 

You, Dustin, and Will stand awkwardly in the back while Nancy hands Jonathan a wrapped gift and wishes him a merry Christmas. They share an awkward exchange since Jonathan hadn’t gotten her anything, but Nancy assures him that it’s fine. The interaction is painful to watch as Nancy doesn’t spare you a single glance. Dustin and Will look at you uncertainly when she kisses Jonathan’s cheek, but you ignore them and pretend to be interested in a Christmas decoration on the table.

This will never get any easier. 

“You ready?” Jonathan turns back to you guys, a blush on his face, and all you can do is silently nod. 

In the car you sit in the back with Dustin, who squeezes your arm in reassurance. He’s come to understand your complex feelings for Jonathan and has pieced together Nancy’s involvement. While he’s never outright consoled you, he’s shown his support in other small and wonderful ways. 

“Thanks,” you whisper, and Dustin smiles. 

“We all buckled up?” Jonathan asks as he starts up the car. 

“Yes, captain.” You mock salute. 

Will giggles at you before he sees the gift and looks up at Jonathan. “Can I open it?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

You and Dustin lean forward so you can see what’s in the box. When Will unwraps a beautiful, and no doubt expensive, camera, you gasp. The bitterness and hurt from moments ago vanishes. This gift is from Steve, you know it is, and something warm settles deep within your bones. 

You think about last month, how you’d told him not everyone can just afford a camera. 

Seems like Steve listened. 

Maybe he isn’t so bad after all. 

– 

A week later you knock on the Byers’ door, a giant container of your annual holiday cookies in your arms. 

“Bug!” Jonathan answers the door with an excited smile on his face. His new camera is in his hands and before you can even process what’s happening, he’s already taken a photo of you with your crooked earmuffs and oversized box of cookies.

He’s been using the camera ever since he got it. There’s now multiple pictures of you, always unaware or caught off guard, now hanging in the kitchen. It makes you blush to think about. 

“You didn’t even give me a chance to smile.” You complain, shoving your way inside. It’s snowing and you’re freezing. 

Joyce grabs the container to help you as soon as she sees you. “Here, honey. I’ve got it.”

You thank her and walk over to Will, who is drawing at the kitchen table. “Hey little bee. Whatcha drawing?”

“Hi, Y/N.” He slides over his picture and you’re shown a quick sketch of you and the party, this time fighting what appears to be a misshapen dog. “It’s a Dire Wolf, we’re fighting it in our latest campaign.”

“Ah, I see. Looks fluffy, though. Can’t possibly be a dangerous creature.”

Will rolls his eyes at you. “This is why you don’t play with us.”

“Careful, you’re sassing the girl who has just bravely ridden her bike through the snow to deliver her famous Christmas cookies.”

Will is out of his seat in an instant, running over to his mom, who has just placed the container on the counter. “Did you make the oatmeal raisin cookies?”

“Duh,” you snort. 

“And the chocolate chip?”

“I sure did.” You stand next to him and point at a new cookie you’re trying out this year. “This batch is a caramel banana one. Steve seemed to like it and I think it’s pretty good, so I hope you do too.”

Jonathan swoops over and kisses your head. “Of course we’ll like it, bug.”

“He’s right, you know. We always love whatever you make us, honey.” Joyce informs you, her mouth now full of cookies. 

“I’d hope so, this is like my fifth year making these for you guys. It’d be awkward if you hated my baking.” You say, now securing your earmuffs back on your head. “Anyways, I should get going. It’s Christmas, my mom won’t want me out too long.” 

Joyce looks out the window and frowns. “Did you really bike here in this weather?”

“It wasn’t too bad, I’ll be fine–”

“No. Jonathan, grab your keys and drive Y/N home.” She stares you down, daring you to argue with her, but you don’t. You know better than to argue with Joyce Byers. 

Once Jonathan has his keys, you say goodbye to everyone and wish them a merry Christmas. Jonathan throws your bike in his trunk and soon you’re off on the road. The drive is quiet but cozy. The snowflakes fall in a pretty spiral and there’s a soft song playing on the radio. 

Sometimes, if you close your eyes, you can pretend that the events from last month never happened. Will never disappeared. You never discovered that you love Jonathan. Nancy Wheeler never became friends with Jonathan, possibly something more had there been more time. When you close your eyes and sit still, you can imagine that your brother never has nightmares that wake him up screaming. That your heart doesn’t hurt when you make your best friend laugh. 

For a moment, you can forget. 

“Can we always stay like this?” You ask Jonathan softly, almost as if you’ll disturb the peace that winter has brought with its quiet snow. 

“Like what?”

You’re not sure how to express what you’re feeling. “This, us. Together.”

“Of course we’ll always stay like this.” He grabs your hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss it. He says this like it’s a fact, the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Pinky promise me.” You hold your pinky up. You know it’s silly, but you need him to hear you, to understand what you’re saying.

Jonathan looks over at you. “Y/N–”

“Please, promise me, bee.”

He’s silent for a moment, seeming to understand the weight of everything between, around, and within the two of you. Then, he extends his pinky finger and wraps it around yours. “I promise, bug.” 

And you believe him.

[END OF SEASON ONE]

-

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[voiceoffenrisulfr]

When the Wolf Howls - Chapter Five

"Actions Are the Seeds of Fate Deeds Grow into Destiny."

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 -> James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Nonbinary Character(s). Secondary Pairings; James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton/Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 -> The small gang finally reach their destination.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 -> 2133

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 -> (M) Risk, adventuring into the Unknown (general adventure-type peril), animal cruelty (removal of, not engaging in)

𝐀/𝐍 -> Check it out below, or on AO3 here!

<- Chapter Four Chapter Six ->

Dividers by us! <3

Prompts; -“How do I not regret any of you?” – @anyfandomfluffbingo; - ‘Extreme Restraints’ – @darkacademiabingo; - “The Song is Loud and Beautiful and I Am So Very Afraid.” – @fandombingo (The Magnus Archives); - “Are You Serious?”, “Just Trust Me.”, ‘Worship’ – @fandom-free-bingo (Flight Edition); - ‘Licking Lips’ – Fandom-Free Bingo (Frosty Edition); - ‘Be Yourself- …Selves’ – Fandom-Free Bingo (Gingerbread Edition); - “Let Me/Us Help” – @fourormore Bingo (2024);

- “Why?” – @julybreakbingo (Summer); - ‘Love as Compassion’, ‘Love as Devotion’ – July Break Bingo (5x5); - ‘Isolation’ – @seasonaldelightsbingo (Dark Academia); - ‘Strangely Beautiful’ – Seasonal Delights Bingo (Wonderland, 5x5 Dark).

We stood on the edge of a dark lake, mist rolling ominously over the eerily still water. It looked endless, but Thor assured us that an island lay in the centre, where the great beast was chained.

“The ice really adds to the atmosphere, huh?” Tem chuckled weakly, his voice deafening in the quiet, punctuated by another distant groaning howl. I winced, my eyes meeting Thor’s, who shared my look of concern.

“That’s not ice, Tem,” I murmured, and I felt Mars’ hand grow a little tighter in mine as realisation set in. They swallowed audibly, and the bone-chilling howl sounded over the water once more, tormented and tortured.

“We can go back,” Winter breathed, pressing his lips to their temple to whisper against their skin. “You don’t have to do this.”

They wavered visibly, indecision flickering across their features, before their jaw set and they shook their head. “I don’t have to, you’re right,” they agreed, voice hard. “But I’m going to. Now, how do we cross this lake?” they added, glancing at Thor, who hesitated infinitesimally before shifting his gaze behind us. We turned as one, eyeing a small, aged rowboat, and I scoffed.

“Four grown men, a stacked god, and a Bug… Seems like this is going to be fun…” I muttered sardonically, one eyebrow raised.

We lapsed into silence once more as Thor rowed us over the lake – despite the trio of super soldiers offering several times to trade off – each of us lost in listening to the steadily increasing cries that echoed over the glassy surface. It was strangely beautiful, the wavering timber that shook my bones as I tried to peer through the mist – to see anything but this interminable fog and the inky blackness below.

Mars licked their lips, and looked up at me uncertainly. “It’s… One hell of a howl,” they offered, fingers twisting in their lap as their gaze turned back to the impenetrable white.

“It is,” I replied softly, my voice seeming too loud, too brash, in the quiet. They fell quiet for a moment more, before clearing their throat softly.

“‘The song is loud and beautiful, and I am so very afraid…’” they murmured, grinning sheepishly when I glanced their way. “It’s from a podcast.”

My arm snaked around their waist automatically as I let out a low chuckle, pulling them closer to my side. “I won’t let anything happen to you, my beautiful little critter,” I whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to their temple. “Not so long as I live will harm befall you.”

They nestled closer into my shoulder, shivering a little as the breeze blew more firmly, scattering microscopic droplets over us and amplifying the inhuman sounds. “… Why?” they asked eventually, and I looked down in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

With a shrug, their chin lowered, unable to meet my gaze as they thought about their response. “It was my idea to come here. To go on this quest, knowing what lay at the end and what the outcome may be. I became more and more aware of just how unlikely I am to survive this with every passing hour, but I need to do this. But you…”

“-Love you,” Win finished simply from behind me, leaning forward to rest his head gently on Mars’ opposite shoulder. “We’d do anything for you. We worship you, Angel. There was no way in hell we’d let you come out here alone.”

Tem nodded as he leaned in too, a small smile on his face. “So let us help.”

My gaze flicked back to my Bug and widened in alarm as they sniffed, wiping a hand across the back of their eyes and glanced around at us wordlessly – appearing for all the world, as they so often and bafflingly did, that they’d found themselves amongst miracles rather than monsters. “How do I not regret any of you?” they breathed, reaching out to the two boys behind us to squeeze a hand each. “How did I get so lucky?”

I snorted, shaking my head fondly. “Are you serious? I think we’re the ones who-”

My sentence was cut short by a shudder and a crunch of wood on rock as our small craft ran aground, and Thor got to his feet, seemingly unphased by the possibility of our vessel having been rendered useless.

“We’re here,” he noted grimly, nodding his head towards the bow. Weak sunlight filtered through the mist, and I swallowed dryly at the bare, wet rock, snaking away from us, barely breaking the water.

Thor hissed as his foot slipped, plummeting for the third time into water that seemed to cling thickly to his boot, and he curled his lip as he scraped the viscous matter on the stone beneath.

“Why couldn’t they have put this damned dog somewhere easier…” he muttered sullenly, but his complaint went unanswered as our small party continued, punctuated by the occasional gasp and splash of a startled stumble on the wet rock, often a precursor to a mumbled ‘are you alright?’ and an affirmative grunt.

Tem, as the most slender of us, stood closest behind Mars, one hand gently on their waist, ready to catch our fragile human should the need arise. But they seemed the steadiest of us all, despite the legs trembling visibly beneath them, hands curled into fists so tense by their sides that I could see their knuckles blanching white from four paces back.

It was almost impossible to hear anything but the howls as the path began to widen and rise from the water – but the same viscous material covered the stone, thicker and slime-like, and my lip curled as it stretched between the sole of my boot and the ground below.

“What the hell is-”

“Drool,” Mars answered softly, barely audible even to my advanced hearing as they glanced back at me sadly. “Forming the River Ván, endlessly flowing from the parted jaws of the Fenris Wolf.”

My own jaw snapped shut as I recalled the book they had shown me, complete with its description of a maw held wide by a sword, and I winced.

The silence was uneasy now, each of us waiting with bated breath for the first glance of the feared creature, the wind whipping at our clothes and knotting our hair as the furious, pained cries of Loki’s child reached an ear-splitting volume.

And then, without warning, everything fell still and quiet, only our own ragged breathing and the gentle lapping of water on rock to be heard.

A low rumble shook the ground beneath our feet, and Tem’s hand darted out instinctively, drawing Mars back to safety as a colossal boulder fell where they had stood only a heartbeat before, causing bile to rise in my throat.

No… Not a boulder, I noted distantly, held fast and dumb in my surprise. A paw.

A paw with razor sharp claws the length of my arm, gouging huge, ugly lines in the solid rock with little effort, as the rumble shifted into a threatening snarl, monstrous eyes gleaming yellow in the dim light, with no pupil to speak of to indicate who he had his gaze upon.

And between his jaws, parted at a painful angle, lay a long sword, the point pressed to the roof of his mouth as saliva ran freely and coated the ground.

The sound of claw on stone made the hair on my neck stand on end, and beside me, Winter winced and recoiled visibly. Tem tried to pull Mars back further, but they tugged their arm away, shaking their head, rooting their feet firmly just beyond the reach of the flexing scythes. Vaguely, beneath the spitting and growling, I could hear them calling out.

“... quiet ... afraid ... help ... free ...”

The deafening din from the wolf’s parted maw faded somewhat, settling into a rasping breath that wreathed around us, malodourous and moist. Mars’ hands raised in a placating gesture, their foot raising to step forward, and I growled, moving closer.

“Don’t ev-”

Their eyes cut to mine, narrowed and glaring, and my words dried up instantly.

The only person I’ve ever met who could shut me up with a look...

I fell silent, but stayed a step behind them, ready to dive in if needed – even at the expense of my own life. Winter, Temnota and Greg flanked me, Thor following suit half a second later, and their gaze softened as they offered us a grateful, shaky smile.

The giant creature considered our party through a slitted gaze, the heavy panting sending the fog swirling.

Mars swallowed audibly, hands shaking, still raised imploring. “We... We came to help. We want- we want to free you. You don’t deserve this... Nobody deserves this.” They stepped forward, and my muscles tensed instinctively as they stopped beside the enormous paw.

I tried not to wonder if I’d be able to reach them in time if that paw decided to take a swipe.

The narrowed, eerie eyes flicked to the god beside me, and I could hear him shifting in discomfort.

“Thor knows that the way you’ve been treated is wrong,” Mars continued, their voice a little firmer in their determination. “That’s why he led us here. We wouldn’t have made it without him.”

The beast grunted, and Mars took another tentative step closer, making my heart pound deafeningly in my chest. “Maybe we can do something about that sword, huh? That looks uncomfortable. Can we... Will you let me help you?” The wolf paused, lip curling as he snarled uncertainly, and Bug’s head tipped thoughtfully. “Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to move your mouth again? It’s been so long.”

“Mars-”

“Just trust me,” they muttered back, hardly glancing back as Win growled in response. From the corner of my eye, I saw Tem’s hand close around his forearm, shaking his head softly. As much as I wanted to interrupt, I knew the more innocent of my brothers was right; Mars would never forgive us if we didn’t let them try.

The wolf’s lip lowered, apprehension clear in his gaze, and his movement was slow as his head dipped, enormous jaw resting on the rocky ground. I stiffened, surprised and apprehensive, but he didn’t move as Mars stepped slowly forward. The defeat his expression was the only thing that kept me still – there was no fight left in his gaze, only a sense of reluctant acceptance. My heart ached to see such a mighty creature brought low, and I held fast as Mars paused by canines the length of their arm.

I’d seen that look before, staring back at me in the mirror; an overwhelming sense of defeat and hopelessness, resigned to whatever torture fate had in store for me next.

Beside me, Winter’s fingers curled into fists as he drew the same sympathetic conclusion.

Their fingers reached out, trembling, wrapping around the blade and wincing as the wolf let out a soft whine, his claws flexing. “I know… I’m sorry. It- it’s really stuck in there, huh? You’ve been like this for such a long time…” Humming, they glanced back toward us, lips pursed. “Boys? Could you…?”

Tem stepped forward without hesitating, but Win and I glanced at each other uncertainly before falling into step, my palm sweating with anxiety. We were eyed edgily, those enormous claws burying deeper into the stone, but the wolf held fast as three hands closed around the blade with the hair-raising scrape of metal on metal.

Even with the strength of three super soldiers, the sword took more prying than I expected – but eventually, in a spurt of blood and an ear-splitting howl, the point split through the skin largely healed around the tip and came free. The momentum took the three of us a step backwards, and I snagged Mars’ wrist, pulling them back with me as we quickly moved away and out of the wolf’s newly available bite range. They tugged against my grasp, but there was no chance of them prying themselves free, or of my releasing them.

“Let go of me, he isn’t-”

“Stop it,” I hissed, pulling them close to my chest, arm clamped around their waist. “Please- please, just… Humour me. Let’s just see.”

The wolf whimpered pitifully as his jaw began to move, the shifting and grinding of bone and muscle long frozen audible even to Mars’ average hearing, if their wince was indicative of anything. The flow of saliva slowly eased but turned tinged with red from the blood frothing between his teeth, and I grimaced as his long tongue lashed over dry gums, the scent of his breath washing over us once more.

The was a moment of silence, a sharp intake of breath, and then-

“That Is Better.”

[rogersideup]

｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter 5:

Rearview

Series Masterlist

Previous part: Pink Peonies Next Part: Little Birdie

Word Count: 6,610

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions and descriptions of sexual acts, anxiety, and sever depression.

Gentle knocks barely caught Bucky's attention from his spot on the couch in his apartment. All the lights were off, and it was quickly nearing bedtime as a show played a little louder than it probably should.

He thought he was hearing things until it happened again, this time he got up and looked through the peephole in his front door. To his surprise you were standing there.

The door swung open with a sense of urgency and Bucky on the other side. His eyes were immediately soft and concerned, his posture relaxed as he leaned onto the doorframe.

"Bug, what happened to you?" He questioned sounding sounding worried as he took in your appearance.

Comfortable work out shorts and a hoodie was pretty much all you wore during your time off of work in the building that always seemed to be air conditioned to a temperature a few degrees below your comfortability, but this time your hair was thrown up in a messy bun, your cheeks pink and your eyes and nose red, but the main point of concern was your arm in a sling.

Bucky had been way better at respecting your boundaries and giving you the space you needed to heal more than anyone else in your life at the moment, and right now, you just really needed a friend. You had some reluctant confidence that he would be willing to listen to you, maybe even give you a hug if you were lucky, and you were also reluctantly confident in your ability to forgive him at this point.

"Hey, I'm really sorry to bother you but I was just hoping you had a few minutes to talk about what happened today?" You pitched.

Bucky was admittedly taken back by your appearance. Your mental health was taking a toll on you, and it was becoming evident. Even since he last saw you a week ago at your evaluation, you looked sadder, frailer, and smaller.

His hand latched onto the upper arm that wasn't in a sling and he gave it a gentle squeeze as he stepped into the hallway, letting his door close behind him.

"Tell me about it" he nodded.

"Um, Harvey yanked my arm back and trapped me against the wall in the hallway earlier today. He dislocated my shoulder" You admitted with a big deep breath, really trying to keep your composure. "I went to the med bay, they popped it back in place but suggested I rest it and take it easy for a few days, hence the sling."

"Oh you poor thing, that sounds painful." Bucky's eyebrows furrowed. "Are you okay?"

You let out a sad chuckle. "No, I'm not." The admission slipped past your lips for the first time ever.

"M'sorry" Bucky sunk into himself.

"Right after it happened I went to training with Steve, it didn't go well." You explained. "He got mad that I was late, and he really wasn't interested in hearing about what made me late or why I was clutching my shoulder and crying. He grabbed my arms and pulled them behind my back then tied my wrists together. The doctor thinks it wasn't completely dislocated until I had to get myself out of the rope. He gave me pain killers and a pretty strong dose of Xanax to calm me down from the panic attack I was having because of him."

"Steve did that to you?" Bucky questioned quietly in disbelief. "I can't believe he did that."

"I don't think he meant to, but whether it was his intention or not, it happened and the bridge has been burned." You gently nodded. "I couldn't believe it either."

"I don't know what to say." Bucky shook his head sadly.

It was evident that Bucky was stuck between a rock and a hard place in this situation. He kept doing what he thought was right, but he still felt immense guilt that his friends were hurting as a result of it.

"You don't need to say anything." You reassured him. "Rogers made it clear that he's not my boss anymore, and Commander Bennett is sleeping so I figured you'd be next in line as a higher up to make informed that I can't report for duty for a minimum of 24 hours because I'm under the influence of benzodiazepines. It's noted in my medical chart."

"Okay, you rest up and I'll make sure to tell him in the morning." Bucky noted. "How are you feeling right now?"

"A little out of it, but the pain isn't nearly as bad so that's all I could've ever hoped for."

"Mental or physical?"

"Both." You admitted. "I'm sure I'll be feeling a lot worse tomorrow, but I'll leave that to be a problem for myself in the future."

"Steve mentioned to me that you quit the rest of training with him, is this why?" Bucky questioned hesitantly.

"Yeah, it is." You sadly confessed. "Ever since the initial fight, seeing him every day has been pretty hard. After today I realized I really need to prioritize my health before being a good agent. I can't go out and fight on a battlefield if I can barely get out of bed anymore. Plus with my shoulder I can't do strenuous physical activity for a week, and after that there would only be one more week of training left so it would be pretty useless."

"Prioritizing your health is important to being a good agent." Bucky reminded you. "Although it makes me sad to hear, I hope you know I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself to anyone that's causing you pain."

"Thanks." You crossed your arm close to your body, chickening out on the conversation you initially came for.

You weren't stupid, you knew there was a reason why he wasn't inviting you into his place, and that reason was either Natasha or Steve. Either way, you didn't want to interrupt.

An awkward silence fell over the two of you, and it made your skin crawl. Both of you were far too wrapped up in your own heads just trying to find the right thing to say to each other, but the words never appeared, so you put an end to it.

"oh...and uh thanks for handling Commander Bennett in the morning. It'll be nice to sleep in and not have to worry about waking up early."

"Does he know you're going to quit training? I can tell him about that too."

"He doesn't, but that's not in his jurisdiction anymore so it's fine."

"Got it." Bucky nodded.

"See you around." You awkwardly lifted your hand in an attempts to wave and walk off.

"Hey, would it be okay if I checked on you tomorrow?" Bucky asked. "It's okay if you're not ready for that yet, but I still worry about you a lot. I just want to make sure you're doing okay."

"Yeah, that's fine. You can stop by whenever." You agreed.

"Thanks" Bucky accepted sadly. Then, what he really wanted to say rolled off his tongue unapologetically. "I really miss you, Bug."

"I miss you too." You agreed, the pain you've become rather familiar but never comfortable with was clawing at your chest again. "A lot, actually. But I don't see a situation in which Steve would be okay with us hanging out again, and I know how important your friendship is with each other and I'd never want to be the one to drive a wedge into that."

"I hope you don't take this as me defending him, because I'm not. I promise I'm not." Bucky started. "But I've known him my whole life, I'd like to think I have a good read of his character, and this is nothing like him. He said some really dumb things to you, but bug? I've never seen him this upset with himself in my entire life."

"I don't think there's anything I can do about that." You shook your head. "He's in your place right now, isn't he?

"Yeah, he is." Bucky told you the truth. "He told me about what happened today, he cried for the first time in a few years because he feels terrible about it and how he made you feel."

You swallowed thickly. "That's not an apology for his behavior."

"It's not, but I'm trying to help you understand each other better. If I can attest to anything, it's that you found out about his crush on you at the worst time imaginable. He loves and cares about you so much, and none of it is ill intended. The reason he kept it in for so long was because he was scared of exactly this situation happening, and he's mortified that he broke your friendship and trust in him. Yes, he's been avoiding talking about it because he was hurt by what we did, but now I think he understands and he's avoiding it because he thinks you hate him."

"I don't hate him" You denied. "I'm mad at the way he's handling this, but I don't hate him."

"I know" Bucky nodded.

"He was really angry when I got to training." You told Bucky. "I've never been scared of him before, but I was terrified of him today. I don't know what he was mad about, but I think it was because I was late. I was only late because Harvey was being an asshole, but Steve told me pointedly that he didn't care."

"He was mad at himself, and it was making him grumpy. He's been like this for a week now."

"I don't know how to move past the way he made me feel earlier. It's like I'm scared to see him again because I'm scared that he's still going to scare me." You explained. "It was like there was no traces of my friend left in there, it felt like he was Captain America, and I was the enemy, and there was no mercy for whatever I did to make him mad."

Bucky sighed because he's seen Steve that angry before, and he knew how scary he really can get. He's a tall, muscular guy, and you're barely five-foot-something with far less fighting experience.

"He would never hurt you" Bucky reminded you. "He knows he scared you, and he's having a breakdown because of it."

"He did hurt me, Buck. In more ways than one." You reminded him. "I love him, I really do, but I'm not responsible for his reaction to the way he hurt me. He scared me, he berated me, and he broke my heart but that's his own doing, and he has to deal with the consequences of that just how I have to deal with the consequences of what happened between you and I and how that made Steve feel."

"I get it." He agreed.

"I'm glad that you two seem to be on okay terms, but you understand how that's bullshit, right?"

"Yeah." Bucky practically whispered.

"Well, for what it's worth I'm sorry you're in the position of being stuck in the middle." You apologized. "I love you, I forgive you for telling Steve because I understand why you did it, and I'll always be here for you if you need me, but I also know I can't be the priority."

"Bug, that's not-"

"It's fine, I get it." You saved him from his own lie. "If he's already struggling, are you going to tell him about my shoulder?"

"I don't know." Bucky sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Should I?"

You shrugged with your one good arm. "You know him better than I ever will."

"Do you want to talk to him?" Bucky asked already knowing the answer, but he had to give it a shot.

"Not tonight." You denied. "If he wants to talk about it he can come to me, but right now I'm a little high on crazy pills and pain killers so I'd rather wait until I have more time to get into my right mind."

"I understand."

"Thanks for listening, it was really nice seeing you again." You said sincerely.

"Thank you for trusting me. Can I give you a hug?" He asked knowing you needed one desperately.

You nodded and opened your good arm for him, he hugged you gently to avoid hurting you, but it was still healing in a way you haven't felt in a while.

"Don't be a stranger, okay? We can talk more about it whenever you need to in order to make it better. I love you bug, I still want to be your friend and I know we can make it work."

"I appreciate it." You nodded.

"Do you need help getting back to your apartment? I can walk you home."

"I'll be okay." You reassured him. "Have a good night, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

Tomorrow came around, and Bucky did eventually come check on you. He found you in bed around 4pm fast asleep with a romcom playing quietly in the background. It made him

Sad to wake you up, but he did it anyways just to make sure you were okay and that you didn't need anything, and once he was convinced that you were okay he left you alone.

Then, that was the last anyone had seen you for 4 whole days. Was it your intention to stay in your apartment for that long? No. But things happen, mental health quickly spirals, and your body felt sick. It was like there was an external force locking you in the walls of your home, and imaginary restraints tying you to your bed.

You were scared to leave because you didn't want to get attacked again, scared to report to work because you didn't want to see Harvey or Steve again, and you were scared to move because you were so tired of being in pain. So yeah, your apartment became your little safe space, but you never realized you were the point of concern around the building.

Especially not so much that you woke up once more, but this time Steve was sitting on the edge of your bed looking absolutely terrified as he gently shook your arm.

"Hey, are you okay?" Steve asked the second your eyes opened, eyebrows pinching together in concern.

You grumbled something he couldn't understand before turning away and covering your entire head with a blanket.

"Wait, stop, I'm not joking. Are you okay?" Steve asked, this time you could hear the genuine worry in his voice.

"Why are you here?" You asked with an adorable glare as your head popped out of the blanket. “What part of leaving me the hell alone do you not understand?”

He hated that it almost made him smile. "No one has seen or heard from you in 4 days. We got so many concerned reports of your disappearance that they made me to a mandated wellness check."

"Obviously I'm well, you can go now." You wrapped yourself tighter in the blankets and turned away from him again.

"You're not obviously well. It's 2pm and you're in bed, you haven't answered anyone's texts or phone calls, and you were supposed to report to Fury today to see if you were okay enough to get back to work. Everyone is worried."

"I'm fine."

"You're watching pride and prejudice." Steve noted simply. "You're not fine."

"Tell Fury I'll report to him in an hour."

"Fury is gone for a while, I think he's out until the end of the month." Steve explained.

"Commander Bennett, then."

"Out of jurisdiction" he reminded you. "That's why Fury sent me."

"Then who can I talk to in an hour?"

"Me." Steve sighed, knowing that's not what you wanted to hear.

"Do you have a meeting spot available in an hour?"

"No, my schedule is full for the rest of the day."

"Tomorrow?"

"Dude, I'm here right now. What's wrong?" Steve asked, his heart pounding and cracking in his chest.

"What time you you have available tomorrow?"

"8am." Steve said simply.

"Fine. I'll take it." You agreed, closing you eyes and trying your best to pretend like this wasn't happening.

"I'm not allowed to leave until I'm convinced you're okay." Steve noted. "Are you sure you don't want to push the meeting up to right now?"

"Positive." You grumbled. "Sometimes when heavy conversations are sprung on someone with no time to prepare for them, it leads to overly emotional responses. Ever heard of something like that happening before, Rogers?"

"Maybe once or twice." He made the active choice to not bite at the argumentative bait you threw him. "How's your shoulder?"

"Attached and functioning."

"When was your last full meal?"

Once again, you turned your head to glare at him. "If I answer these stupid questions does that mean you'll get out of my apartment and go back to pretending like I don't exist?"

"This is just as uncomfortable for me as it is for you" Steve told you. Really, seeing you look so broken down and worn out made him genuinely sad, but right now you weren't looking for his pity. Quite honestly, he was worried about how you would react to him if he expressed how concerned he really was.

Now with knowing what you knew, Steve was at least smart enough to know that if he reacted to this scenario as a coworker, or a boss, or even a friend, all of his concern would be directed straight to the romantic advancement category of your brain. He knew that he always would and always will care for you regardless of if you rejected his feelings for you or not, but in this situation where that information was taken horribly wrong, the best thing he could do was stay neutral and respect that you didn't want to be part of his life anymore.

You didn't want him to care, you didn't want him to be there, you didn't want to get out of bed, and you didn't even want anyone to notice you were gone for so long.

Yet, somehow on the very flip side of the coin, you were mad at him for not expressing that he was more worried about you than he was letting on, you wanted him to just stay with you and fight for a spot back in your life, you wanted to just get out of your congested apartment and breathe some air that wasn't from the buildings circulation system, you wanted to go on a long run and feel the cold morning air, and you wanted the same people who reported you as missing in action to care enough about your existence to actually be nice to you beyond a mandated report.

But really, you just couldn't get yourself to do anything.

Leaving was overwhelming, staying made you want to cry, and there was no solution in between those two options.

"Hey, did I lose you?" Steve asked.

"No. Sorry." You shook your head.

"When was the last time you ate?" He repeated.

"Dinner last night." You grumbled. "I would've lied and said I ate lunch today, but your bullshit detector is almost unfair and I think anything but the truth would make you even more worried."

"At least you're honest." Steve sighed. "Last time you drank?"

"This morning"

"Water?"

"Coffee."

Steve frowned. "Last time you left your apartment?"

"I saw Bucky after I got released from medical, whenever that day was."

"Last time you went outside? Had fun? Hung out with a friend? Anything?"

"I played The Sims 4 yesterday, it was riveting." You said dryly.

"Any future plans you're looking forward to? Something? Anything? Literally just give me anything to work with."

"Ooh!" You perked up. "There's a new sim's expansion pack coming out next week it costs $40 but it's okay because if you break down the cost per hour you play it, it really is cents to a dollar."

"Oh my gosh" Steve sighed, running his hand through his hair and tugging at the ends a big trying to relive the stress you had caused him. "I can't in good conscience say you passed a wellness check."

"I'm trying my best dude, this is all I got. I don't know what else you want from me." You huffed.

You watched Steve's eyebrows furrow in concern as he checked his wrist watch for the time. "Okay, here's the deal."

"If this ends with me in grippy socks and a gown I'm going to be so undeniably pissed off at you."

"You're already undeniably pissed off at me so that's not very threatening, but, no I don't think you need that at this very moment." Steve corrected you. "I have 45 minutes until I have to get to a meeting. If you can pull yourself together and leave your apartment to go get food and do something fun, then check back in with me in a few hours, I'll mark you as well."

"That sounds like a lot of money and effort." You complained.

Steve sighed and pulled his wallet out of the pocket of his nice jeans, then handed you a card between his two fingers. "Take the company card, I'll mark the charges as a business expense."

Only then did your face light up, and you happily grabbed the heavy silver card from his hand. "I think I can work with this."

"The rules are that I need cold hard proof you ate and did at least one activity that'll make you feel better, I don't care what that is. And I need the card back by the end of the day, no ifs ands or buts."

"Deal."

"Okay great, you have 44 minutes now to get out of the building." Steve reminded you.

"Are you really going to stay until I leave?" You questioned, tone full of annoyance and dread.

"Yeah, that's part of the deal."

"Ugh, fine." You ripped the blankets off of yourself. "Can you at least go into the living room so I can shower and change in peace?"

"As you wish" Steve stood up and raised his hands in defense. "But don't make me late, you know I hate being late."

"How could I ever forget?" You rolled your eyes.

More bait that Steve refused to bite, so he quietly walked out of your room and softly closed the door behind him. Sitting on the couch and waiting, half an hour later you flew through your bedroom door and didn't miss a single beat as you flew through the living room and grabbed your purse off the rack.

"Come on, Captain, i'd hate it if you were late under any circumstance!" You said sarcastically, pulling open the front door as he shot up off the couch. "Even if it was completely out of your control!"

"I'm choosing to not respond to that" Steve grumbled, following you out and down the hall with confidence your door would automatically lock as it slammed shut behind the two of you.

Calling the elevator did nothing to slow either of you down as the doors automatically opened, and you shoved yourself into the furthest corner you could, trying your hardest to ignore your racing heart and internal panic over being forced out of the compound. He could read the anxiety on your facial expressions, and feel it radiating off of you as if you were telepathically sending it to him.

You hit the lobby button, Steve hit the floor his office was on.

Since his floor was above the lobby, the doors opened once more and it was his turn to get off. "Have fun, be safe, give me the card back today."

"Wait? When was I supposed to give it back to you?" You made one last sarcastic jab before the doors closed, completely shielding you from his annoyed face.

As per his request, you got food, spent more than a few hours and a few hundred at a beauty salon, made a quick stop home before Steve texted you that he was out of his last meeting.

So you made a leisurely walk over to his office, and knocked twice before entering. He looked tired and more than ready to turn in work for the day as he straightened out the haphazard papers and various sticky notes on his desk.

"That pothos is looking a bit sad." You noted, leaning in the doorway.

The once happy plant with bright green leaves with tiny cream colored patches was now droopy and under watered.

"It's not sad, it's just dramatic when it needs some water. I watered it a few minutes ago, it'll perk up again soon" He explained, looking at the plant, then up to you. "Oh, you got your hair done."

Your hair was now perfectly styled, cut a little shorter, and was a little lighter throughout the ends. Steve also noticed your casual street ware was replaced with your favorite sweatpants and a cropped t shirt. He once again cursed himself for thinking about how beautiful you were when he really should've still been mad at you.

"And my nails, and my eyebrows." You noted, holding up your hands for him to see. "Is this enough evidence?"

"I guess it is." He nodded. "What did you get to eat?"

"Dim sum" you admitted. "Here's the card."

It wasn't the cheapest option in the world, but every few weeks you and Steve would happily splurge and go get dim sum together because it was just so good. But hey, if you had the company card, you we're definitely going to fill your belly up with bao and dumplings.

"Thanks." He took it back from you. "Do you feel any better?"

"Yeah, maybe a little bit." You nodded. "But I am going to continue on with that meeting in the morning, oh, and definitely finish pride and prejudice."

"Would you like to have the meeting now? I'll stay late, I don't mind." He asked. Staying late was the last thing he wanted to do, but nothing would be worse than living with the anxiety that this unknown meeting was causing him.

"No it's fine, you seem tired." You denied. "And by the way, did you know the company card works on The Sims 4?! Now I'm even more excited for that new expansion pack because I didn't have to pay for it!"

He could tell you were still deeply sad and exhausted by your surroundings, but your fake enthusiasm wasn't helping him feel any less concerned by your state of being.

"Lovely. I'm happy for you." Steve said dryly.

"See you in the morning, Captain Rogers. 8 am, don't be late."

And just like that, you slipped past his office door. Steve wished it was physically possible to kick himself in that moment. He so desperately wanted to just talk to you, he wanted to explain himself, express to you that he loved and cared for you regardless of where the two of you stood, he wanted to be a good friend and be there for you through this very obvious rough patch, but he couldn't.

The words never properly formulated whenever he was within eyeshot of you, yet the second you left and when he would lay awake at night staring up at the dark ceiling unable to sleep, those words formed perfectly and passionately with no way to express them in a way you deserved to hear.

Just like always, he laid awake all night just for 8 am to come around. Promptly on time, you were back in his office.

As you took a seat in the very familiar chair across his desk, he noticed three things. The first being that you weren't in uniform, the second being that even though you looked beautiful, you no longer looked like yourself, and last but not least, the words escaped him again.

The concealer under your eyes did little to hide the fact that you had been crying, the blush on your cheeks didn't fool him into believing that the life hadn't been drained from your face. Your eyes were dull, your sweet and spunky personality that he loved so much had been missing for a month now. You were right in front of him, but you felt like a ghost and he found himself missing you.

"You're on time" Steve noted. "I stopped for a coffee this morning and grabbed you one too since you're the first meeting of my day."

Steve placed the perfectly ordered vanilla cold brew in front of you, "oh, thanks. I appreciate that."

"Will you please tell me what's going on now?" Steve practically begged. This very meeting had been looming over his head in a storm cloud of anxiety since yesterday.

Without saying anything, you handed him a piece of paper. He took it from your shaky hands with a dreadful look in his eye, so you sat and sipped your coffee and looked at the swirls in the wood of his beautifully stained desk while awaiting his reaction.

The first and only thing his eye picked up before he refused to read more was 'This letter is intended to notify you of my resignation in two weeks from S.H.I.E.L.D.'

"No." Steve said sternly before sliding your resignation letter right back to you.

"No?" You questioned.

"Absolutely not."

"I'm quitting and you're saying...no?" You cocked your head to the side, trying not to cry out of immediate frustration. "You understand that's probably illegal?"

"When have I ever been one to follow the law?" He asked rhetorically. "I can't let you throw everything you've worked so hard for away just because of me. Nuh-uh. Not going to happen."

"This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me." You corrected him.

"Why do you think this is the best choice for you right now?" Steve poked, trying his hardest to ignore the way his heart was sitting in the bottom of his stomach.

You braced yourself with a big breath, and accepted the presence of the never ending tears that always stung your eyes nowadays. "Being here has proven to be the worst experience for my mental health, and I need it to get better because I'm scared of what will happen to me if it doesn't."

"There are other things we can try before taking a step this drastic." Steve pleaded.

You shook your head in denial. "I can't get out of bed anymore."

"I'll get you a therapist."

"I've barely been able to eat, shower, work out." You continued painting the picture for him while quickly wiping away a tear. "This is the furthest I've ever been from myself. I look in the mirror and don't recognize my reflection, all i want to do is sleep so I don't have to deal with the constant state of anxiety I'm in just to wake up and hate that I feel numb. I've lost control over my own emotions and I can't take it anymore. We all saw this coming, Steve, so please just let me go."

"Harvey is literally one write up away from getting fire-"

"Four months ago, it had been 3 years since the last time I cried. Now I think I cry about three times a day, and sometimes I need to cry but nothing happens. It's like I'm losing my mind and I hate it."

"But..."

"I never took a day off or called out since I started shield until that one mission when Harvey made sure I got hurt. Ever since then I've been getting hurt more, working less, having to take days off left and right. At this rate, I'd rather go quietly before I get fired."

"Nobody is going to fire you." Steve denied.

"Even before everything happened, I haven't been happy here. My friends and my boyfriend were the only ones keeping me sane and tying me down to the compound, but now? I don't have a boyfriend or even friends for that matter. Everyone here hates me. Nothing is grounding me."

"Do you have another job lined up?" Steve sank in his chair.

"I'll figure it out."

"You know quitting means you'd lose your housing?" Steve challenged. "Do you have another living situation lined up?"

"Yeah, I have two places and two sets of people waiting for me."

You were being cryptic, but Steve knew you were talking about your Sister and Brother in-Law, and your Mom and Dad.

"But you haven't signed a lease yet?"

"No, not yet." You sniffled.

There was a break in conversation, Steve's wheels obviously moving and cranking desperately trying to come up with a solution. So you sat and dissociated from the situation while talking small and slow sips of your coffee.

"Okay, since I legally can't say no to you right now, here's what we're going to do." Steve sat up, and rolled his chair closer into the desk. "I'm putting you on a two week paid leave of absence instead. Take the two weeks to get out of the compound, stay with whoever is waiting for you and really focus on yourself. Really think about what you want, then at the end of the two weeks if you still think that you don't want to do this anymore, that's fine. I'll terminate your employment on the spot, no need for another notice."

"Okay" You accepted. Not only was it a good deal, but it got you out of the compound as soon as today, and all you wanted to do was run out of the doors and never come back.

He started typing around on his computer, and a piece of paper came out of the printer that jumped on. "In the meantime I also really want you to consider this." You grabbed the warm paper from his hands, and looked it over to see that it was the benefits list to the Avengers position. "You'd move up into the loft with the rest of us, you'd never have to see any of the other agents again if you didn't want to. The job is easier- not as busy with more downtime. Everyone loves you and wants you there, plus it would be an increase in pay with better benefits and a killer 401k."

"Everyone?" You asked, "I can think of two people that probably wouldn't want me there right now."

He gave you a disappointed dad stare. "Everyone, and I mean that."

"Much to think about." You mumbled.

"Since you'll be gone and out of harms way, I'm going to take the time to whip the boys into shape since they can't retaliate against you." He noted.

"Good luck with that."

"Questions, comments, concerns?"

"No questions, no more comments, and no less than a million concerns but that's just an average day for me." You stood up from his desk. "Thanks for your time and effort, I'll be back in two weeks I guess."

"Hey, I'm rooting for you, and I genuinely mean that." Steve reminded you sadly. "If you need anything at all, professionally or personally, I'm here. I always will be."

You nodded before pushing through the doors with your coffee and benefits list in hand. As quickly as you could, you packed a bag full of everything you'd need to be gone for a little while in hopes that you could get out of the building before the news spread. The last thing you wanted was Bucky trying to convince you to stay or Harvey getting some sort of sick satisfaction from your choice.

It took about an hour, but walking through the compound with a backpack and a duffel was the most satisfying and enjoyable experience you've ever had since the first time you walked into the building.

Getting into the car and turning the key in the ignition, you let the air from the vents hit your face and dry out the tears on your cheeks. Your seatbelt clicked in place and held you like a hug while the music from your playlist connected to Bluetooth and sang comforting words to you.

After putting in the address to your parents house in maps and set off on your journey, you had an hour and 45 minute drive ahead of you to relax and let the weight of the world roll off your shoulders.

But in the process of setting off on your journey, nothing was more comforting that seeing the reflection of the compound becoming smaller and smaller in the rear view mirrors.

Much like the gravity of all the issues that lived within the cold, gray building, they became smaller and smaller the further you got.

You let all of your problems stay locked in the concrete walls for Steve, Bucky, and Harvey to deal with on their own. Because right now, you needed to get better, you needed to feel like you again.

By the time you pulled into your parent's driveway, you barely had time to open your car door before your dad was grabbing your bags from the back seat while your mom was waiting for a hug.

You hopped out of the car and happily wrapped your arms around her. Before you knew it, there were little arms around your legs, your dad joined in, then two more sets of arms held you close.

"Wha-" You mumbled, lifting your head to see your sister, her husband and your nephew were here as well. "What are you guys doing here?!"

"We made the drive over so we can spend a few days together as a whole family." Jane explained with a kind, sympathetic smile on her face. "Luca lives in a constant state of missing his Auntie Smalls, and we all miss having you around so we thought this would be a perfect opportunity to get some quality time in."

"We know you're having a hard time, sweetheart." Your Mom pet your hair lovingly. "But we're here to rally around you no matter what, okay?"

"Whether you choose to be an agent, or an avenger, or a barista at the coffee shop around the corner, we're going to love you and support you just the same." Your dad reminded you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "There's plenty of space here for you, we're happy to have you as long as you need. There's no rush."

“And when they inevitably start to drive you absolutely insane, our house is your house too. You know we would love to have you, as would Luca." Nathan, your brother in law told you.

"We're going to have so much fun! Mommy brought puzzles, and paints, and ooh! We can play Nintendo-" Luca started excitedly.

"Woah there buddy, let's let Auntie at least put her stuff down before we start bombarding her, alright?" Jane giggled.

"Fine... Auntie let's go inside!" Luca grabbed your hand and gently pulled you towards the door of your childhood home.

You looked back with a genuine smile on your face. Tears filled your eyes at the sight of your family in the driveway, but this time they were happy tears, something you were completely unfamiliar with.

"Thank you, I love you guys." You put your free hand over your heart as Luca continued to happily walk you in.

"We love you too." Your mom said, finding comfort next to your dad who was lovingly wrapping his arm around her.

He was happy and content to have his kids and grandkid all under the same roof. Nothing made him happier than his empty nest becoming full again. "We love you more."

Next Part: Little Birdie

Tag List: @saranghaey @firephotogrl74 @selella @talesofadragon @ss28 @nekoannie-chan @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @spikeluv84 @crazyunsexycool @callmissrogers @xxxalicerogersxx @whore-for-chris-evans @em8rin @mulbsstuff @qalijahbydior @awkotaco24 @buckybarnessimpp @nicoline1998enilocin @buckystevelove @rogersbarber @mybuck @dbnightingale24 @ynstark @sincerelytlh @klaralovescaptainamerica @alexakeyloveloki @mrsevans90 @smhnxdiii @claralovescaptainamerica

[kingflups]

Your WIPs. Hand them over

AHHH I only got a preview of this on my phone the fucking hand took me out holy shit

god bless you I have things I want to talk about but I just can’t get them flushed out you so thank you so so so much for the opportunity to ramble I love you so much moose mwah

There’s three main WIPS I’m working on right now, all resident evil because that’s all my brain has been stuck on for a hot minute and riding this train as long as it take me. In no particular order:

Nights-- My serrenedy long fic Nights aren’t so bad with you. Chapter ten is in progress I just need to finish the draft. Luis finally starts to crack a little bit and he’s going to enter a spiral about infection and feeling this need to run away again because Leon is very clearly getting attached to him and he doesn’t feel he deserves it, but for the first time in his life he’s not physically well enough to function on his own and can’t leave. He’s trapped, he’s tricked someone into thinking he’s worth being care for, and worse of all, he really, really likes it. Also, we’re getting closer to the chapter where Leon gets fucking bit by one of the werewolves! Yippe!

Next one I’m excited about is a platonic post re-5 Jill and Chris fic. Chris receives on ominous text from Jill asking for help and he rushes to her apartment assuming the worse. He arrives to something more shocking: Jill broken down, post sobbing, her hair freshly dyed a terrible unnatural shade.

I for one, hated how Jill’s hair (and skin. Literally also her skin) were bleached as a part of the brain washing she went through in 5 and then it just got dropped. So as part of the recovery from that I think recoloring her hair to natural brown would be a small way of reclaiming herself in an immediate and visual way. I also think because Jill is such an independent character, she’d do it by herself. If by chance this very immediate very visible way to reclaim herself went wrong…. It would just be terrible, wouldn’t it? Plus I just fucking love Jill’s and Chris’s friendship and low key I’m a sucker for platonic intimacy like hair washing

Alexia Ashford and Claire Redfield toxic yuri sexpollen fic.

Do I think these two would be a good couple? No. No no no no. Not in a million years. But. Alexia and Claire are already interesting to me because they’re both very family motivated but neither in the typical mother/love interest role (Alexia being very focused on preserving legacy, Claire on finding the little family she has left). So if you imagine with me a bad timeline where Chris doesn’t get Claire’s massage in Code Veronica, Claire is trapped in the antarctic, Steve killed Alexia’s brother, and Alexia kills Steve. I just think it’s really fun if because Alexia is a total shut in and because of the age she put herself into a coma at and because the only person who could reign her in is now dead, that Alexia finds herself with a massive crush for the first time and can’t fucking process it in a normal fucking way.

Thus we find Claire captive and Alexia is attempting to infect Claire with a similar bug-like infection because of her obsession with creating a hive- and maybe a second queen. Claire hates it, hates Alexia, but as her own mutations worsen, she finds herself producing a sexually charged aura and the two fuck nasty on the floor of a polished bathroom about it.

Maybe I’m crazy for it. Maybe I should be silenced. But the idea of Claire taking control of her situation by scuffing up Alexia’s dainty femme knees on filthy tile is hot to me and since Alexia is a freaky bug lady I can get weird with it. I haven’t decided if I’ll end it with one chapter or do a porn with plot type situation (where it goes Alexia and Claire fuck nasty/Fallout and Rescue/Claire can be cured but she has to go through one last heat and asks Jill to come over) cause I can’t stand to personally do implied sad endings even if it is for porn

This was unhinged if anyone read though this god bless you

[hairstevington]

flowers and ink (part 7)

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Eddie and Steve go out again, this time to Lover's Lake. They learn more about each other's pasts, but mainly just want to make out.

(part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, link to Ao3)

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Tattoo artist/florist trope modern day au, you all know the drill by now, the boys are FERAL for each other in this chapter omg, lots of talk about sex, surprisingly no spicy content other than flirting tho

A/N: Hello everyone! I met Joe Quinn yesterday and I will be annoying about it for quite some time, sorry about that. As a reward, here is more of our favorite boys! I love hearing how much people enjoy this story. It's so fluffy and cute and what we all need in these trying times <3 Happy pride!!

“Okay, you ready?” Robin asked. 

Steve nodded, confident in his plan for the night. 

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Well, duh,” she replied. “Do you have gas in the car?”

“Uhhh, yeah,” he said, remembering that he’d filled it the day before.

“Phone charged?”

“Yes.”

“Snacks?”

“Yes, and beer in the cooler,” Steve confirmed. 

“Very nice. Sunscreen?”

“It’s 6:30pm,” he pointed out.

“Oh, right,” she responded. “Condoms?”

“I don’t think we’re gonna -” Steve began. Robin eyed him knowingly. “Yeah, okay. Just in case.” He walked to his bedroom as they continued talking.

“It’s the third date after all,” she reminded him. 

“Does yesterday count?” he asked, shuffling through his dresser drawer.

“I think so,” she replied. “Oh my god, this is your first date with Eddie that I won’t be present for!” Steve returned moments later, shoving the foil packets into the inside of his jacket.

“So you’re not going to hide in the bushes and spy on us?” he teased.

“Not unless you want me to,” she said with a smirk. “But no, I don’t need to see whatever the hell you two are going to do tonight.”

“You’re acting like we’re animals with no self control,” Steve pointed out. 

“You usually have sex on the first date, Steve,” she replied. “This is absurdly slow for you.”

“Don’t slut shame me.”

“I think I’m actually doing the opposite.”

“Whatever. I’m going.” 

Steve grabbed the cooler and headed out the door.

“Good luck!” Robin shouted behind him. He smiled, shaking his head. 

-

Eddie was excited. He really liked Steve, and things were going well. He also was a big fan of surprises, especially when people managed to actually surprise him. He tended to get too nosy and figure things out beforehand. Or, he just bugged the shit out of people until they told him. 

He didn’t do that this time. He waited patiently, and he got ready, and he wondered where Steve was taking him. 

It was the longest goddamn day of his entire life, but 7pm rolled around eventually. When he saw Steve’s car pull up, he rushed outside to hop into the passenger’s seat. 

“Hey!” Steve greeted excitedly. “So, I -”

Eddie’s lips were on his immediately. He couldn’t help it. That boy had some amazing lips. He hadn’t been kidding the other night about needing to kiss him more - he just couldn’t wait a single second longer. Steve melted into it instantly, his hands abandoning the steering wheel to hold Eddie’s face instead. They would have made out forever had they not been at a weird angle due to sitting in a car. 

Finally, Steve broke away, chuckling lightly. 

“What?” Eddie asked. 

“Something Robin said to me earlier,” Steve replied. Eddie raised his eyebrows quizzically.

“Do you think about Robin a lot when you make out with someone?” Steve blushed and shook his head. 

“Nooo, no no no,” he said. “She was teasing me about how this is the third date and you and I are going to be all over each other.”

“Yeah, well that’s just a fact,” Eddie replied, leaning back in his seat. “I told you as much already.”

“True.”

“Does yesterday count as a date?”

“That’s what I asked!” Steve pointed out. “She says yes.”

“Okay, well if Robin says…” Eddie joked. “So, do I get to know where we’re going yet?”

“No, but it’s not far from here, so you’ll know soon enough.” Steve squeezed Eddie’s thigh and then put the car back in drive so they could head out.

Eddie listened to music softly playing as they drove around. He watched the trees and shops pass by him, content. They talked a little about music and the one-woman show from the night before. Eddie waited for Steve to ask him about what happened with Chrissy, but he didn’t. 

Steve wasn’t kidding. He halted the car to a stop about five minutes later. 

“Uhh,” Eddie said, looking around them. They were pulled over to the side of the road, with no restaurants or stores in sight. Just a line of trees leading into the woods. “Where are we?”

“We’re right by the neighborhood I grew up in,” Steve explained. 

“Steve, did you grow up as a tree elf?” Eddie teased, unbuckling his seatbelt. Steve laughed. 

“You caught me, yeah,” he joked, smirking. 

“So,” Eddie continued. “You’re taking me…into the woods?”

“Yeah.” Steve got out of the car, so Eddie followed suit. 

“Are you, like, gonna kill me in there or something?” 

“No, I’m not going to kill you,” Steve responded. “Look, does this make it better?” He popped the trunk to reveal a cooler filled with beer and snacks. 

“Uh, yeah,” Eddie agreed. “Definitely makes it better. Now at least I won’t die hungry.” Steve laughed, then pulled Eddie in to give him a peck on the lips.

“Okay, I get it, taking you on a date in the middle of the woods as a surprise isn’t the romantic gesture I’d hoped it would be,” Steve said. Eddie smiled, grateful that Steve wasn’t annoyed at his constant need to tease people incessantly about things like this. 

“It’s fine, I’m pretty sure I could take you in a fight if need be." Steve rolled his eyes. "Sorry for all the murder talk, I’m nervous,” Eddie admitted. Steve’s face fell slightly.

“Why?”

“Because you make me nervous,” he explained. “Like, in a good way, not in the way that I actually think you’re gonna murder me.”

“I make you nervous?” Steve asked, surprised.

“Yeah,” Eddie nodded. “You’re terrifying.” He grinned, causing Steve to blush and get flustered. After a moment, he collected himself and returned to the task at hand.

“Come on, it’s just through the trees.” Eddie watched Steve pick up the cooler, his biceps flexing in the setting sun. Steve caught him staring and smirked. “Keep it in your pants, Munson.” Eddie pouted.

“Aw, do I have to?” Steve laughed, shaking his head, and then held his unoccupied arm out to take Eddie by the hand into the woods.

“So,” Steve said as they walked. “I was on the swim team in high school. Actually, I was on most of the sports teams.” Eddie looked Steve up and down and nodded. 

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Steve blushed again, then continued. 

“Anyway, I was trying to think about ways I could show off my special skills like you did for me, and I remembered this spot up here that I used to go to all the time back then.”

Eddie considered making another comment about what other special skills Steve had, but he bit his tongue. He’d made his attraction more than clear and they were only seven minutes into the date.

They made it past the trees until they got to a shore of sorts. The woods faded into dirt that had been walked over so many times it was packed down smooth. From there led to a lake. Eddie looked out at the pretty water while Steve set up a blanket on the ground. He sat down and gestured for Eddie to join him.

“This,” he said, pointing to the water, “is Lover’s Lake. Well, that’s what everyone calls it. I think it has an actual name.”

“Why ‘Lover’s Lake?’” Eddie asked, knowingly.

“Because it’s kind of shaped like a heart, when you look at it on a map,” Steve explained. “Although, when I was growing up, I always thought it was because people came here to hook up.”

“Did you?” Steve chuckled, shaking his head. 

“No, I usually went about a half mile that way for that,” he replied. “At Skull Rock.”

“Called that because it kind of looks like a skull?” Steve nodded, taking two beers from the cooler and handing one to Eddie. “Ah, okay. I’m catching on. Your hometown really has a way with words.”

“Yeah,” Steve replied. “Where’d you grow up?”

Eddie didn’t like this question, mostly because he didn’t like to think of his old life that much. He cracked his can open and took a sip.

“Uhh, Indianapolis mostly,” he answered. “I moved here a few years ago to be closer to my uncle. He’s the reason I met Bob, actually. I’m not used to small-town living but I like it here well enough.”

“Well, Hawkins is glad to have you,” Steve said, raising his own opened can. They clinked their beers together and continued drinking in silence for a minute or two. 

“It’s a nice night,” Eddie said. 

“Yeah.”

“I kinda wanna see the infamous Skull Rock myself,” he noted. “You know, to confirm whether or not it lives up to its name.” Steve chuckled. 

“You want to see the place where I used to take girls to make out?” he asked. 

“Sure,” Eddie replied. “I’d love to learn more of the Steve Harrington lore. You only ever brought girls there?”

“I was a bit of a late bloomer with guys,” Steve admitted. 

“Well, Steve, there’s a first time for everything,” Eddie teased. “I’m assuming that’s why you brought me here, no?”

“Well, I -” Steve sputtered. “I didn’t bring you there, I brought you here, and - I mean, yesterday you said you wanted to -”

“Relax, I’m just messing with you,” Eddie said, putting Steve at ease again. “But we’re definitely gonna make out at Skull Rock tonight, right?” Steve looked at Eddie and smiled.

“Oh, obviously.” Steve took out a few of the snacks and set them between him and Eddie. “We could also go for a swim.”

Eddie considered it strongly, then shook his head. 

“Uhh, yeah no. I can’t see you shirtless for the first time in a public place,” he said. “I’m not trying to get arrested again.” Eddie shut his mouth, realizing that he’d just revealed something he hadn’t meant to. Goddamn Steve Harrington somehow breaking down Eddie’s previously impenetrable walls.

“Again?” Steve asked, intrigued. “From having sex in public?”

“Nooo,” Eddie said, maybe too quickly. “I’ve never done that. Have you?”

“Uhh, well, yeah,” Steve confessed. “I wasn’t arrested or anything, but the cops busted us a few times. God, the sheriff hated me back then. I got away with a lot of bullshit as a teenager.”

“Yeah, me too,” Eddie agreed. “Until I didn’t anymore.”

He waited for Steve to ask him what Eddie’s arrest was for, or why he moved away from Indianapolis, or to pry in any sort of way about his troubled past, but he didn’t. Instead, he changed the subject completely and asked about Eddie’s tattoos.

Steve was awesome.

-

They ate and drank by the water until it was dark, talking about life, the universe, and everything. It was calm and peaceful, and Steve was thankful that they both seemed to enjoy the night equally. 

“I think it might be too late to venture to Skull Rock,” Steve pointed out.

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed. “Wouldn’t want to be eaten by a coyote or something.”

“Exactly.”

“But,” Eddie continued. “Don’t think I forgot that you promised me a makeout session, Steve.”

“Oh, I didn’t forget.”

“So, where shall we go?” Steve smirked, then started packing up their stuff. 

“I’d say we go to my place, but Robin would never let me hear the end of it,” he said. 

“Why?”

“Because she'd be there.”

“Wait.” Eddie stood up, then helped Steve up to join him. “You two live together?”

“Yeah, you didn’t know?” Eddie shook his head. Steve thought back to all their previous conversations, and realized he’d never explicitly said that. Whoops. “Oh, shit. Yeah, we have an apartment together.”

“Separate bedrooms, right?” Eddie teased. Steve laughed, then nodded. 

“Sorry,” he said. “If you’re dating me, she comes with it.”

“I don’t mind,” Eddie insisted. “I like it. I like you.”

They looked at each other for a moment, and Steve caught himself admiring how pretty Eddie’s face shone in the moonlight. 

“I like you too,” he said. Eddie grinned, then clapped his hands. 

“So!” he exclaimed. “My place, then?” Steve nodded, and then they headed back through the woods to the car. 

Robin was right. She’s always right.

(next part)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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