#steve cobbs

[averagechickenenjoyer]

HOW DID I JUST REALIZE THAT ALL THE CONTESTANTS ARE JUST REFLECTIONS OF MEPHONES TRAUMA????

Baseball always strikes out because nothing MePhone did satisfied Cobbs or made Cobbs proud.

Taco is the kind of person MePhone thinks Cobbs wants him to be, just as manipulative, selfish, and downright douchey. Or maybe it’s his way of coping with Cobbs nature.

Lightbulb represents his childlike innocence he had prior to his discovery of MePhone3GS and the truth.

Suitcase represents his underlying anxiety and depression.

Knife is his repressed anger and resentment towards Cobbs. Paintbrush also serves as a representation of this.

Fan represents his obsessive love over his creations/loved ones/contestants.

Test Tube represents his creativity and intelligence that was shunned and ignored by Cobbs.

I could go more in depth but like holy shit this is brilliant writing

God I can’t wait for II18 (if it happens)

[froskii]

i love how we as object show fans collectively hate dude to no end

[klefyer]

the smartest 3 month old ever

[urfavssins]

Steve Cobs Inanimate Insanity

please

[hate-bracket]

[iwasnotaslasher]

The feminine urge to make those two blorbos fuck senseless.

[dumdolphin]

Some Marvel and DC characters 💕

[apavlovs]

@elebyte got me into object shows again (credit to her for the design of mephone i drew!!!)

[texaschainsawmascara]

The Sopranos / Boardwalk Empire / The Penguin

[abs0luteb4stard]

W A T C H I N G

I got the special edition for "🎅🏻" and I'm excited.

[inanimateimprov]

OMIGOSH!! I love how the II fandom is growing ever so much! ALSO IM GOING TO TURN SETEV COBS INTO CORN ON THE COB- uh.. anyways uhm.. sooo.. WHOS UR FAV CHARECTTERSS? I ABSOLOUTLEY LOVE YIN-YANG THE TWO OF THEM R SO SO SILLY😭

Rosin: I LOVE TACO!!!!!!!

Luca: Fan!

Hiraeth: Test Tube 🤭

Lio: Silver Spoon

Tara: MePhone4

[autolykiss]

all of me

Steve Martin as Roger Cobb (2/2)

[loriensasylum]

Boyd Holbrook was in Justified Primeval with Timothy Olyphant who was in The Mandalorian with Pedro Pascal who was in Narcos with Boyd Holbrook. I need this terrific trio to be in something together.

[klefyer]

imagine if the reason cobbs created MEphone in the first place was to create a vessel that could be used to vent all his anger towards his younger self or something out on. like imagine if cobbs created mephone4 to be the younger, naive version of himself that he could use to pour out all his self-loathing and shame onto im not good at making theories or headcanons and im not invested in ii + i dont know much about cobbs or mephgone but just hear me out

[evenmyhivemindisempty]

My friends, I am pleased to announce after thorough review and analysis I have put together a totally unbiased and completely academic ranking of Boyd Holbrook’s characters’ sexual prowesses, ranked from best to worst.

For your viewing pleasure and fandom rage. Behold.

Ty Shaw - Fucking amazing in the sack. He’s enthusiastic. He’s game. Wanna bring in another boy or girl?? Hell yeah, partner, he’s down! This man is the best combination of eager to please and self-confident without being cocky – and he’d absolutely take it in stride if you asked for him to change positions or switch things up. Life is a rodeo and he’s ready to ride! Or be ridden! 10/10

Klaber - As much as it hurts me to say it, he’d be pretty damn good. He’s got that big puppy energy and working dog excitability, and he’d definitely be bringing that into the bedroom. He seems like the sort that would let his partner take the reigns - but he can service top and service dom just as gamely as anything else. And tbh, unlike a bunch of Holbrook characters, he seems too dumb to really be able to get too in his own head about sex. 8/10

Quinn McKenna - He’d be perfectly competent. He knows what he’s doing. He’s down to do it. He’s got stamina and knows how to effectively utilize his strength and his body. He doesn’t seem particularly self-conscious, and he also seems like he’d be pretty tuned-in to his partner’s pleasure. THAT BEING SAID. He would absolutely be distracted. He’d be thinking about that meeting he has tomorrow morning as he fingers you. His endurance would be insane, but he might fall asleep on top of you before he finishes. He might kink shame you. …But he might still do those kinks anyway. This is unfortunately the last Holbrook character that is unequivocally good in bed. 6.5/10

The Corinthian - I am frankly a little amazed that the Corinthian has gotten such a fandom reputation for being a sex god! Look. This boy screams “pillow princess” so goddamn loud. He strikes me as someone that’s not afraid to get what he wants, but also doesn’t give a single shit if that’s also what his partner wants. He is a hedonist, and he is here for *his* pleasure, and unless you’re his master, you’re just the thing giving him that pleasure. That being said, he’s definitely picked up a couple tricks over the years he might bust out if you’re lucky, and watching him enjoy himself would certainly be a show! But good chance he also kills you and eats your eyes after. 5.5/10

Steve Murphy - The one thing I can say about our favorite DEA agent is that he’s *trainable*. Look. This is somebody that will do what he’s told and commit to his tasks with a laser-like intensity. He will work hard! But I doubt he thinks to communicate much about sex on his own, and if his partner doesn’t force the issue, he’s just gonna do the Standard Sexual Routine and assume you probably came sometime during the missionary. 5/10

Donald Pierce - This boy is kinky as all hell, and don’t get me wrong, there are absolutely circumstances where he could probably be a fantastic sexual partner. HOWEVER. He is just oozing insecurity and self-image issues - good luck getting him out of his own head long enough to even coax a full erection out of him. Pierce is constantly fronting and putting on a show - no way he’s gonna stop doing that when the clothes come off. In fact, it might just get worse! All that being said… he probably is pretty good at oral, and your orgasm is more important than his. 4/10

Clement Mansell - Similar to his singing, sex is a skill Clement thinks he’s amazing at, and is not. His arrogance and certainty that his dick will take his partner straight to nirvana only serves to make the mediocre foreplay and jackhammering that much worse. He will sprawl out on the bed afterwards with a self-satisfied smirk and drawl something like, “Told you I was good!” or “Bet you need breather after that, baby.”. He buys Magnum condoms he doesn’t need. The one upside is he’s got that energizer bunny gusto – if you *are* just into vigorous penetration, he’s the guy for you! 3.5/10

Cap Hatfield - Does not have sex. Does not want to have sex. 0/10

I sincerely hope I have done some psychic damage to my followers!! I welcome any additions or dissenting opinions!!

[hate-bracket]