#stfu seriously

[idknotgonnapost]

when he says he wants a babe in the passenger seat but the only mf that’s ever in that chair is mac

[rebelrayne]

🚨 PSA 🚨

In case you didn't know, you can make funny memes about LITG without comparing Suresh to a celebrity that: A) cheated, B) has been accused/charged with SA, or C) is just a dirt bag in general.

You're not funny, don't quit your day job. Why don't you leave the joke telling to Bruno and Tiffany?

Getting tired of seeing the "jokes" everywhere. Less here, more on Reddit, Facebook, etc. but still 😒😡🙄

[existennialmemes]

The Neurodivergent urge to be consumed by rage when someone "corrects" you on something that you weren't actually doing wrong to begin with, just differently than them

[skitskatdacat63]

"it was good fun! Surprisingly competitive I would say!"

[somaticmilk]

REN MILK FIC -

Shut up and take it.

The overwhelming smell of hay, fresh paint, and barn animals filled Ren’s nose, but he was soon distracted by cold metal pressing up against his back. Scissors began to slice away at the Beastkin’s tank top. After tearing away the fabric, Strade grasped at the waistband of the jogger shorts before pulling them to his victim’s ankles. 

He soon did the same to his boxer briefs. As his clothing was quickly stripped away from him, Ren felt increasingly insecure and fearful, his tail subconsciously going between his legs.

 He would have tried to pull his shorts and underwear back up but was stopped by Strade still holding the drill to his head. 

The best he could do now was shrink back and cover himself with his shaking hands as his captor shot him a few mocking gazes and a cynical smile. Horrid thoughts began to bounce around in Ren’s pounding head.

 He slammed his eyes shut. “This is it. He’s going to rape me, shoot me, and then dump my body in the desert for the scavengers to pick apart. Attached to the red leather collar was a large golden cowbell that jingled loudly with every small movement Ren made. 

Once the collar was secured and taut on the sobbing fox’s neck, the German grabbed him by the back of his leather neckband causing him to choke.

 As he was dragged over to another side of the barn, Strade reached out to Ren, silently begging him for mercy in the hope that he was less sadistic than the taller man.

 His chokes and gasps for air thankfully ended, but the terror and dread didn’t. It seemed like it never would… As he was spun around, a squeeze cage came into view. 

Ren recognized the cruel-looking device as something used to help brand and dehorn cattle. He was shoved inside, his head forced through bars and squeezed together so his neck was trapped.

 With his head and neck trapped and motionless, Ren could only rely on his moving eyes to see what his captor was about to do to him.

Strade quickly went outside and slipped on some gloves before grabbing a lukewarm Craft Beer.  He could see the German man outside the barn, wearing thick protective gloves and holding an iron rod over a burn barrel.

 Once he came back, Goosebumps formed over Ren’s flesh as Strade dabbed a cold alcohol swap over his exposed behind. A thick lump formed in his throat as he put two and two together..

 He was going to brand him… His thrashing became much more frantic and violent. Although the actions pained his neck and head greatly, he persisted with his struggles. If this sick freak was going to brand him like livestock, he wasn’t going to let it happen without a fight. 

He wasn’t going to just go limp and take it. Strade removed the rod from the fire, revealing that the end was bright orange and steaming. 

His fight against the iron cage grew even more frantic as he came closer. “NO! YOU GET AWAY FROM ME!” “Stay still, Schatz. Don’t want to mess it up.” 

Strade said it was so nonchalant, it almost scared him. Still, Ren didn’t have time to think about that, he could only focus on the hot metal coming closer to his ass. With one swift motion, the iron was pressed hard against his left asscheek, burning and sizzling into his flesh. As his vision turned white and spotty and his throat let out an ear-piercing scream, Strade smiled at his display. Although he couldn’t see it yet, there were two letters now permanently burned into his skin forever.

-

Before turning in for the night, Strade chained Ren into his stall that was so confined, he couldn't even extend his legs out all the way. He was cramped, cold, naked, and terrified. He should be at home watching anime, not with this German psycho in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. 

Ren started to scream again in an act of desperation, although the cries were shot and weak. His throat was still tortured by the screaming he did while being branded. In the back of his mind, he knew that all of his commotions would amount to nothing in the end. Still, you never know if someone willing to help would be trespassing on the farm property. Chances were slim, but not impossible...right?

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Help… Please somebody help…” By sunrise, Ren could hardly let out more than a whimper. He had been hollering for a savior almost all night, but as he predicted, all he got in response was the song of the crickets. His eyelids weighed heavy, his crash in adrenaline hitting hard. 

Right as he was about to drift off, his eyes flew open at the sound of the barn door swinging open. “Guten Morgen, Kuh!" Ren recognized that voice. It was Strade. “I had to get up early because it was my turn to feed the chickens and let the dog out.” He set down a bucket of water into Ren’s stall. “We heard you mooing out here all night, so I imagine you must be parched.” “I don’t want to see you. Get away from-OOMPH!” 

Ren’s back hit the dirt as Strade gave a hard blow to his stomach, his heavy boots knocking the wind from his body. Before he could sit himself up, Strade sat on Ren’s chest, his weight pinning down his lithe body. The man, who was currently gasping for air, violently flinched as he felt the farmer grasp at his limp cock. “A bit rowdy right now, are you?

 No problem. I have something that will help calm you down.” The fox (mistaken for a cow apparently)  threw his head back, letting out a few shuttering cries as he heard Strade digging around in his pocket.

 He was convinced that it was the pistol. He was about to be shot dead for being too difficult to handle. However, instead of his head being blown to bits, Ren could feel cold metal encasing his dick, quickly being securely locked on with a small metal key. 

Strade had just put a chastity cage on him. “There. Isn’t that so much better? Your cock all wrapped up like a present for your beloved farmer.” Strade said sweetly as Ren continued to squirm underneath him. His face felt hot against the cool hair as he flushed a deep red from the humiliation and shame. He felt like a wild animal being muzzled. “Don’t worry. We won’t keep it on forever of course. We just have to keep you all pent up for milking.”

if you want like actual milking lmk- but other than that I was never here.

->

PT 2

[aha-chuu]

Alhaitham and Kaveh's dynamic is interesting, because I've seen a lot of people say either "oh my god Kaveh is so mean" or "oh my god Alhaitham treats Kaveh terribly". But, quite importantly imo, in this quest Paimon remarks that she "doesn't know which one of them is more problematic".

I think when considering their relationship you need to look at intention. Do Hoyo want to villainise one of their popular husnandoes as a toxic asshole? No. Even the "villain" playable characters like Childe and Wanderer are nice/funny on occasion. Kaveh and Alhaitham's interactions are intended to be humorous, to make you gasp and say "oh wow I can't believe he just said that!".

Like, during the most recent story quest, for example. Kaveh accusing Alhaitham of having no empathy when he's clearly pretty emotionally stunted and decently moral is mean. But saying "At least I'd be a fungus with empathy!" Undercuts that - it's clear neither Alhaitham nor the player are suppose to take those words seriously.

Alhaitham dismissing Kaveh's field of work with "you work yourself to death just for a smile" is so belittling, but it's a retort to Kaveh saying his scribe job is at "rock bottom" in the Akademiya. Alhaitham isn't lashing out or trying to demean Kaveh in front of others (this interaction happens after the player has "left"); he's just continuing their verbal sparring match. I think people take this jab so seriously because it can be seen as a jab at a lot of people working out of passion, but in the context of the dialogue we're not supposed to regard it so deeply.

It's also fairly clear that nobody in game takes them seriously either. Tighnari says Kaveh is "as pent up as an anemo slime" in his Alhaitham voiceline - another funny quip - and Collei details how hard it was to suppress her laughter when Kaveh was talking about Alhaitham. Nobody thinks they're genuinely bad for one another, or that getting them separated is all that crucial.

Even the interactions in this story quest are just so silly and domestic: Kaveh can't get the painting straight, Alhaitham buys ugly furniture, they're arguing about rent and drink tabs, Kaveh is doing an unfair amount of housework and Alhaitham fucks off without entertaining his own guests. it's funny, or at least it is clearly intended to be.

I've heard that in the other dubs the VAs tones are different and it makes the lightheartedness clearer. Personally I've thought since their first interaction in the AQ that Alhaitham is having fun during their quarrels, and Kaveh is just melodramatic enough to act traumatised even if he isn't truly offended.

Then when it comes to whether their dynamic is supposed to be read platonically or romantically... Well Hoyo won't do anything canon, but it's hard to argue that there is no intentionality in how their relationship is portrayed. What other character(s) has an idle animation directly referencing their relationship with another character? How many other voicelines explicitly reference two characters as a pair? Nahida's Kaveh voiceline, Collei's, Tighnari's - I'm sure there are more. "Roommates" "senior & junior" "academic rivals" -> certainly there's a case to be made that they're just very close, but Kaveh and Alhaitham getting fifteen minutes of epilogue interaction in two different quests (where none of the content is related to either quest) says something. Fanservice, quite possibly.

Also Kaveh's line "We used to be friends, but not anymore"; I've seen plenty of people interpret this as "oh we're not friends, we're dating*". I think this is fun in fanon, but on a canon level it's basically a promise by Hoyo to fix (or explain) their current dynamic. Hoyo, for all their many faults, are detail orientated enough to follow up on such a line. Perhaps it will just be in Kaveh's voicelines/character stories, but I anticipate a future event or Kaveh hangout in relation to their bond. Nothing explicit, but more exploration. It's fairly clear Alhaitham and Kaveh are popular enough characters to warrant it.

All this to say: I have lots of thoughts. I have seen people call them toxic and (while idm the drama of that in fanon shipping) that isn't really the intended case in canon. Or, at the very least, the intention is not to to take their squabbling so seriously.

[krownest05]

This scene has just been tattooed into my brain, my heart and my soul

[multifandombullshitbabes]

(i hope this goes without saying that literally headcanon what you want: i'm criticizing the people who talk shit and can't accept other's people's headcanons. that's who i think is boring and annoying. there's complexity in Mizu's character in a lot of ways. I really cannot see how this headcanon is erasing any part of her identity. Please do feel free to correct me on this.)

I feel like ppl who hate on ppl who hc mizu as genderfluid are 1) boring, and 2) annoying. But most of all, they always use that dialogue between her n mikio, where she says she had to be one to enact her revenge.

Mizu is a person who is in an extremely sexist country, also being targeted for being mixed. In a way, being a boy was necessary. I also think that Mizu has found some comfort in being a man, in living like one. He prefers, in some ways, how a man is treated and is very comfortable being one not only out of necessity, but also because he likes it.

Now, just because he likes being a man, doesn't mean she also doesn't love being a woman. During the mikio arc, we all saw she was comfortable being a woman, she liked some parts of it even: being someone who deserves protection, who doesn't know how to throw a knife or fight for her life, who takes care of horses n cooks not just for herself; for her, being a woman means not doing what she has to as a man, which is fight for herself and enact revenge and live alone n all that.

At the same time, they're not totally a woman, nor a man. Because Mizu is not only about their gender, either man or woman: Mizu is a person who revels in both being masculine n feminine, but if they had the choice they would be both. They're part of both worlds (male n female) of edo Japan, and just as much as both worlds bring them immense amounts of pain, there's also a great deal of euphoria that they both give Mizu, and a mix of both is what gives them total peace.

I always think abt how effortlessly Mizu fought with mikio, since she was completely unrestrained and free there: both of her worlds were colliding and she fought in a way we dont rly see any other time in the series. Not only cuz she wasn't wearing her binder, but because all of her truth was revealed at the time, n she didn't have to hide any part of her then.

So yh anyways. Mizu genderfluid. And bisexual. And polyamorous.

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

YOUR bryce is a serious surgeon who likes to surf w a wife and kids. MY bryce carries a stanley tumbler, is going through years of cultural healing, and sleeps in shorts that say slut across the ass. we are not the same.

[evilkaeya]

It icks me so bad when people complain about other people's writing/drawing style like damn bitch make it yourself then

[coldblooded-angel]

HOW IS THE CATTONQUICK ROCKSTAR AU??? GOING? PLEASE ELABORATE MORE ON THE BRAIN ROT

OH IM SO SORRY FRIEND 😭😭 its currently on hold cuz I’m writing monster hunter! felix au (and godamn the au list is LENGTHY) BUT I CAN GIVE MORE BRAINROT MMMHMM

Oliver comes from a conservative traditional family and hes their “black sheep” but only in secret cuz im placing this au in the 80s wheb rock n roll was THE DEVILS MUSIC

He escapes out the window and dresses in the sluttiest leather fits and mesh he can find. He mostly gets inspo from the other girl groupies, the ones that get pulled backstage

Also hes got secret piercings (on his nipples) definitely and a tramp stamp (think trashy im ur baby type shit)

He is just as obsessive so he has to sometimes hide from security cuz he has been caught a few times sneaking into the tour van/bus and their hotel rooms

He’s got the most disgusting collection of Felix things. Im talking cigarette butts, gum, condoms, guitar picks, underwear, a sweet towel. Mfer has drunk that mans backwash out of a bottle he is nasty 🫶

He also deals drugs (it’s how he gets close enough to Ven and Farls) uses it to steal hotel cards or to snoop of their phones for shit about Felix

He sends the most. Freaky. Graphic. Disturbing fan mails and i mean CRAZY SHIT the usual delusions of him being Felix’s soulmate and how Felix will fall for him and then also lists down all of his own qualities that Felix would love. Drops a couple of nude polas so Felix knows what he’s working with and a splash of his cologne (which is the compliment to the one Felix wears cuz duh of course he knows that)

Oliver is delusional as fuck he will physically fight any bitch that says she is Felix’s wife cuz um no hoe THAT IS ME. And he has also definitely been kicked out of venues for these fights

He box bleaches his hair blonde like crispy fry cuz Felix daid in an interview that his ideal type is blue eyes and blonde hair. Oliver’s mother has a heart attack and makes him pray the gay away

OKAY I might go on forever if I don’t stop here but groupie! Ollie is my babygirl fanboy he is #1 Felix shooter that man will fight ANYONE for him. (I hope this was good enough for now🫶🫶)

[azulas-daddy-kink]

Okay so I've been re-watching AtLA and it is apparent just how far off fanon!Azula really is.

Canon Azula is cruel, mean, savage, and has absolutely no mercy toward her enemies, firing lightning at them without a care in the world and with zero hesitation. Idk how so many people have convinced themselves she's a precious little meow meow who did nothing wrong. Do y'all even like the real Azula at all or do you just like your idea of a "redeemed" version of her?

[priarity]

‘blue eye samurai is like GOT and mulan combined hahaha’ how small minded can you get omfg

[lawrussy]

apocalypse!au

[cantagirldrawinpeace]

Been reading Law Novel 👍

(super legally and not at all from a Google Docs English fan translation 👀)

WOLF ONE PIECE I KNOW YOURE NOT CANON BUT YOU REMAIN FOREVER FAMOUS TO MEEEE!!!

(Handwriting translations under the cut)

1-

Law: Junk-ya this is Bepo. He’s a polar bear and he’s going to live with us now. Be nice

Bepo: He brought me here without explaining anything..sorry….

2-

I like this sad old man :)

3-

Wolf: I swear, I let ONE kid stay - out of pure convenience - and they just kept multiplying!

Dadan: Tell me about it…

Both of them, thinking: I LOVE MY FUCKIN KIIIIDDDDSSSS!!!!

[ya-boi-haru]

Cast really need to start putting "manipulation" and "gaslighting" into their trigger warnings whenever there's an ep with Fable, given that's all the man seems to do whenever he opens his fucking mouth-

(/j/lh)