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doromoni · 1 year

Text

Hunting Affections

Charles Leclerc x photographer ! reader

Max Verstappen x photographer ! reader

Part 7.

fanfic + smau fic

y/n faceclaim : Hwang Eunbi

warnings : small amounts of possessiveness and angsts :>>

A/N : UP FOR EDITING 🤍

Summary; Love is but a concept — just connections of neurons that take part in the brain … and yet, why is it the most painful when one falls alone?

Loving someone who doesn’t love you back , until you can’t no more. Maybe then they’ll actually know what they’ve lost.

maxverstappen1 3 mins

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reposted by arthur_leclerc , olliebearman, and oscarpiastri

arthur_leclerc 1 min

viewed by charles_leclerc , maxverstappen1, ferraridrivingacademy, and 1,626,716 others

story replies

charles_leclerc You’re with Verstappen?! Arthur, we’re brothers how can you do this?!! He is the person who stole y/n from me!! And why are you even at y/n’s house? Are still talking to her, when I specifically said don’t?!

arthur_leclerc I get to choose who I get to be friends with, Charles. I won’t let you dictate my relationship with y/n anymore, she is like family to me. I’m trying to fix our relationship… I could only say that you should do the same. I’ll talk to you in person if you want to say more.

y/n_stills.

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tagged maxverstappen1 , oscarpiastri , olliebearman , and , arthur_leclerc

y/n_stills. what a weird family date. I came home with can I be your grid child applications. @maxvertappen1 can you handle 2 more?

I didn’t let them drink or over feed them. We followed the meal plan . There’s a responsible adult here (me) 😇

maxverstappen1 we barely have @oscarpiastri for a month, can I buy you a dog instead?

y/n_stills. aw, sorry @olliebearman and @arthurleclerc . Papa said no :((

oscarpiastri yeah nah, I’m good being an only child. Thanks.

olliebearman what? Nooooooo. what do I need to do to pass @maxvestappen1?

arthur_leclerc yup , same question 🙋‍♂️ was our fifa game not enough @maxverstappen1

oscarpiastri @olliebearman @arthur_leclerc you need to win the F2 championship, that’s all. 😁

y/n_stills. welp there you go! That’s the requirement, kids. Good luck 😊

maxverstappen1 they said it, not me 🤷‍♂️

ferraridriveracademy hear that boys? @olliebearman @arthur_leclerc win the championship 🫣

y/n_stills. @ferraridriveracademy … nope, shhh shhh none from you 😀 promise an f1 seat first then talk.

landonorris Max sent me a video of everyone eating McFlurries :)) great meal plan ! Count me in

y/n_stills. what McFlurry 😊 there was no ice cream involved . right @maxvestappen1

danielricciardo Max sent me the same vid. @y/n_stills. What’s up with you and McFlurries?

y/n_stills. MAX!! i told you not to tattle >:(( and fyi danny ricccccc McFlurries are the best, that’s why.

maxverstappen1 sorry, dear 😅

oscarpiastri not gonna lie it was good.

landonorris you like anything sweet 🙄

arthur_leclerc McFlurries are good. I liked it. Period

olliebearman well it is worth the calories

y/n_stills. more than gelato? @olliebearman @arthur_leclerc🧐

arthur_leclerc 😐😐😐

olliebearman uhhhhh

Bffusername are these my nephews?

y/n_stills. you’ll finally meet everyone tomorrow!!

lewishamilton You went to the restaurant!

y/n_stills. We did! Thanks for the recommendation, Lew!

user1 why are they fighting about McFlurries? Did I miss a chapter?

user2 at this point I just sit back and watch the chaos.

user3 I know right? The grid interaction this season is extra silly.

user4 not y/n feeding the grid kids sweets 🥺, why is that endearing. Imagine max driving through a McDonald’s drive through with the kids at the back seat . Oh no I’m soft

user5 @user4 let’s be delulu together! That’s so domesticated, I cant handle it.

y/n_stills. @user4 what if I said, that actually happened 🫣

user4 OH MY!! Y/N !! Nooooo you did not 😭😭.

user6 we’re do I subscribe for keeping up with the Verstappens?

y/n_stills. No stop, this sound so fun! Someone write that down!

user6 you heard y/n! Produce it now!

user7 Max being a grid dad was not on my 2023 bingo card

user8 but we are not complaining, @y/n_stills. pls give us more family content

Bffusername 1h

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y/n_stills. I got you boo 😘

bffusername I also want the pin thingy you have >:(( how do I get that?

y/n_stills. you mean the team access badge? HAHAHAH either work for a team or date a driver 🤷‍♂️

Bffusername oh… HAHAHAHAHAHHA

y/n_stills. COME ON BE A WAG , choose someone single from the grid!!

Bffusername df y/n? The only people I know here are you and Max. Oh and that guy I bumped into before going to the garage. I think he followed me just now?

y/n_stills. b/f/n?!! WHAT?!! Spill!! I leave you for 1 minute for work and you already found someone.

Bffusername Dude chill! I’m a singer, he probably followed me because of that, though it was my private account… maybe he made a mistake. I think you know him quite well actually! He said his name was Nando Lorris?

y/n_stills. NO. Shut up. b/f/n….do you mean Lando Norris? Was his hair brown and messy , green eyes and was he wearing orange?

Bffusername YES! THATS HIM! yeah I bumped into him outside the McLaren(?) garage. The one beside the Ferrari one.

y/n_stills. And He followed you on instagram? your private one? I can’t wait to rub this in his face!! HAHAHAHAHAHA this is GOLD.

Bffusername what do you mean?

y/n_stills. Oh nothing my gorgeous best friend ~ hang on tight for a few more minutes, I’m almost done with work

Bffusername No worries , babe! It’s urgent and I’m a big girl and I can handle myself 😘.

I quickly pulled out my messages and started text bombing Lando.

————-F1 Breaking-————

FIA denies Ferrari’s appeal towards claims of impeding towards Leclerc by Red bull's Verstappen , Perez and McLaren's Norris, Piastri. Both teams will not face any penalties and will continue the race with a warning.

————————————

b/f/n and I strolled through the circuit, trying to find our way towards the red bull car of max in the front of the grid. Finding the act to be a difficulty as the grid became packed with people trying to have a look at the cars and some looking for a chance to talk to the drivers.

Holding onto b/f/n’s hand , I tried to lead us towards the front — when a mic suddenly appeared and the all too familiar friendly voice of David Croft boomed, and the camera focused on us.

“Y/N! It’s Lovely to see down here again! We have been missing your presence at Sky. So how have you been? “ A feeling of fondness blossomed in my heart at the sight of an old colleague and friend.

With a smile . I answered the jolly commentator

“Crofty! It’s lovely to see you too! Well, i’ll admit it’s quite weird to be at the receiving end of the microphone. I’ve been great, thank you for asking! “ Crofty’s eyes fell towards my best friend , who interestingly was a very popular singer.

A chuckle fell from my mouth as Crofty started to fire questions towards the clueless b/f/n — who did not realise that the person she was talking to was the colleague that i’ve told her stories about on so many occasions.

“Ms. b/f/n, What a surprise to see you here, a pleasant surprise of course! I didn’t know that you were a fan of the sport! Are you having fun so far?”

“Oh, well I don’t really know much about F1 to be considered a fan. Y/n , here begged me to finally meet her friends and to see what all the fuss was about. Well, I’ll admit, everything has been exhilarating so far! The energy here is amazing. “

“Well thank you so much for talking to us , Ms. b/f/n! And y/n we really do need to catch up more often~ bye ladies!” Clutching b/f/n’s hand a little tighter as people kept pushing through.

I continued to venture towards Red Bull. Then a flash of orange lingering towards my right and a thought came to mind. With a smirk playing on my lips, I pulled b/f/n towards the car of the one and only Nando Lorris

“Y/n, where are you taking me? The red bull cars are that way” b/f/n said as she pointed towards the front of the grid. Pasting my most innocent smile on, I only looked at her and continued to pull.

“Oh Landoooo~” I chimed as soon as we were close enough for the British driver to hear. At the sound of my voice , he turned around — his green eyes slowly growing bigger at the sight of my companion. A sly grin formed on my lips.

“b/f/n this is Lando , Lando this is b/f/n. Isn’t it nice that my best friends are finally meeting each other? You two get to know each other , I’ll go find Max. Ok? Bye! I’ll find you before the anthem starts! Lando will explain ~ “ I dashed away as soon as I said bye, not leaving enough time for any of them to interrupt. Better make great use of the opportunity, Lando.

Skipping through the crowd, as the Red and Blue car of my boyfriend grew nearer. And there stood Max, in all his glory; clothed in his fireproofs with his race suit only zipped halfway. A faux red bull can in his hand , teeth gently biting the straw as he spoke to his race engineer. Dark blonde hair deliciously tousled from his balaclava. Skin flushed red from the heat of the engine

Appreciating my boyfriend, my eyes travelling all over his physique. Max was made for racing, he was so in tune with the environment, the car, the people… everything — it was electrifying to witness. Oh how did I not see him sooner.

Feeling my gaze on him, Max’s eyes found mine. A charming smile overtook his features, as he beckoned me towards him. As I came near enough, Max had pulled me into his arms and placed a kiss on my lips, a hand cupping my jaw.

The mix of the sudden public display of affection and my already heated thoughts made blood rush to my cheeks. Embarrassed , as I hid my face in his embrace and mumbled.

“Max, people are watching”

“Let them watch, I don’t care,” Max said as he placed another peck on my forehead. I lifted my head to look into his eyes, my chin resting on his hardened chest. A look of fondness flashed through his features as he quickly planted another kiss on my lips making me melt into his embrace even further.

“Max , when I said people watching, I meant our boss is watching” I said chuckling softly as I looked towards the direction of Christian Horner, who was now faking a cough along with Max’s other engineers.

“Alright! I’m sorry! “ Max said jokingly , as he let me out of his embrace— only to catch my hand in his and intertwine our fingers in the process.

“How was your day , Liebling? Oh , where is b/f/n? “ Max said as he pulled us to a quieter part of the track. At the mention of b/f/n’s name , the sly grin once again graced my face.

“Everything was alright, love~ and b/f/n is with McLaren” A look of confusion was present in the Dutchman’s face.

“She knows someone from McLaren? I thought you and I were the only people she knew here”

“ Well apparently, my dearest Emilian , a certain McLaren driver “bumped” into b/f/n and “accidentally” followed her private instagram account” I spilled with a cheeky-est smile I could muster.

Then suddenly a look of understanding passed through Max

“NOOOO LANDO?!! how didn’t I see this? He follows all her public accounts and he’s always listening to her music “ Max eyes were shot wide , I giggled as I nodded to him

“That’s what I said!! Lando better not screw this up” I stated elated that Max was in the same wavelength. Suddenly the alarm that the nation’s anthem would be starting soon rang, catching both Max's and I's attention.

“My Love, I need to fetch b/f/n. I’ll see you again in the garage, okay?” I detached my hand from his , only to find its way to his structured jaw

“Good luck and please be safe. Win or lose, you will always be my champion” Max leaned his forehead to mine, a habit the he grew to do everytime that he was overwhelmed with emotion.

“I love you, Liebling”

“And I love you , Max”

Gazing into his eyes, then placing my lips to his once more . Not noticing the splash of red passing behind us.

—————-

“And it’s lights out, and away we go!” And With Crofty’s signature phrase, the racr had officially begun.

The first few laps had been successful for all teams, having no collisions or machinery errors this far into the race.

Time passed as quickly as the cars had. The laps had been halved, with teams gaining positions while others have lost positions; and Ferrari belonged to the latter.

The race was going as usual, with Max leading grid. Until a weird radio call from Checo’s car was broadcasted.

*radio beep*

* WHAT IS LECLERC DOING?? He didn’t leave enough space! We almost collided again, that’s twice!! Is the FIA investigating?*

* Copy , Checo. We will talk to the stewards again. *

* What position am I in now?*

* That’s P4, P4*

*radio end*

Then another radio call was heard, this time it was from Hamilton in the Mercedes car.

*radio beep*

* I see , a Ferrari behind . Will they be attacking? *

* that is Leclerc and Ferrari will not attack and they will conserve the tires*

* Cop- WHAT THE ****! Leclerc suddenly attacked! He’s infront but his tires are not good*

*radio end*

Confusion filled all the team garages, including the Italian team in red . As another radio call was broadcasted, this time it was from Ferrari themselves

*radio beep*

*Charles do not push! Tires are degraded!*

* Charles, do you copy?*

* LECLERC BOX BOX! TIRES ARE DEGRADING FAST, YOU’LL BLOW A TIRE*

*radio ends*

A sudden silence filled the air as people tried to understand the situation. As engineers busied themselves with data and informing drivers of the situation. Anxiety filled me as Charles slowly closed the gap between his Ferrari and Max’s Red bull. The sudden departure of b/f/n didn’t help either , as she had an urgent family matter to handle.

Everyone was holding their breaths as the last lap of the race approached. I focused my eyes on the screen and listened closely to the commentator.

“It's the final lap and It's a neck on neck for Verstappen and Leclerc! It's Verstappen! No! It's Leclerc! It's the final turn before the chequered flag. Leclerc is gaining on Verstappen, here comes the final turn. Verstappen breaks last! But Leclerc is not far behind. “

“AND THE FERRARI AND REDBULL TOUCH! WHEELS HAVE MADE CONTACT. BOTH CARS ARE LOSING CONTROL! AND LECLERC AND VERSTAPPEN GO OUT SPINNING.”

Crashes and collisions are not unusual to the high speed sport of Formula 1, yet it does not diminish the depravity of it all . I couldn't shake the worry and dread that swallowed my every emotion. Nerves spiking as my leg bounces uncontrollably at the sight of the cars colliding and spinning off track. Panic increasingly grew as the garage turned to radio silent…

“AND LECLERC GOES INTO THE BARRIER BUT VERSTAPPEN HAS FOUND TRACTION! AND MAX VERSTAPPEN CROSSES THE CHEQUERED FLAG! HE HAS WON! THAT'S ANOTHER WIN FOR MAX AND REDBULL.”

As the crowd cheered, the garage of red and blue was filled with ecstatic mechanics patting each other on the back and engineers chattering over each other as they celebrated another race win.

Even as the air filled with cheers and excitement, I could only think about the wellbeing of Max. Was he alright , Is he hurt? Only these thoughts filled my mind. I silently chewed on my lip as my leg continued to bounce and my fingers tapped on my other knee – with my head down and eyes shut close, as I tried to assure myself that Max was not going anywhere.

Startled, at someone’s hand on my shoulder – I opened my eyes. A piece of metal equipment, painted a deep blue color was in my line of sight, a headset. Abruptly lifting my head, I was faced with one of Max’s race engineers . He supported a comforting smile as he placed the headset into my hands.

“Christian said you could talk to him, you tell him he won, yeah?”

Quickly understanding the situation, I was on my feet. With a quick smile and thank you, I placed the headset on – it was slightly heavy and a shiver ran up my spine as I felt its shocking coldness on my face. Not wasting any more time, I pressed the radio button that allowed me to communicate with Max.

*radio beep*

*MAX! Are you alright!? Are you hurt in any way?*

*Y/N? Wha-?*

*It's me. Love, are you alright? Please tell me you’re okay*

A bit confused, yet more so delighted to talk to his partner on his car radio , Max replied – without a worry that everyone tuned in all over the globe would be able to hear. Because, He was proud to call y/n, his and If he were to choose, he will always have his Liebling’ voice to listen to in every race in his entire life.

*I'm alright. Liebling. I’m not hurt, just a bit dizzy. And no, I do not need medical attention. Thank you for worrying though. *

A smile can be heard through the driver’s radio as he talked. Shocking fans and presenters from the softness and warmth of the Dutch Drivers voice as he spoke to his girlfriend.

* That was quite a spin Max, you scared me! you almost crashed into the wall! You idiot … but congratulations that’s P1! P1! You won! Love, that's another podium!*

* Nice, Nice! Simply lovely! And I simply love you my Schatz!!*

*That’s so going on live tv …You’re so lame! I love you too, see you on the podium! Your engineer needs the headset back, ciao dear.*

*Your love hurts, dear HAHAHA. Yeah, let me talk to GP. *

*radio end*

The feeling of worry and dread leaving my system at Max’s assurance. I thanked the engineer again and I returned the headset back , with a grin on my face – now giddy for Max and the team’s success. Skipping out of the Red Bull garage making way to congratulate Max at the barricade with the rest of the crew.

When suddenly a red gloved hand held my arm – stopping me in my tracks.

It’s Carlos! I smiled as I greeted him.

“Hey Chili! Congrats on the race~ what’s up?”

“Hola, Nina , thank you… ” the smile on my face slowly dimmed and replaced concern . Carlos was not looking at me straight, his demeanour was not at all normal – he was fidgety and restless.

“Carlos? Is everything alright? You could tell me” I asked, trying to catch his line of sight.

“I, uh… Y/n its about Charles ..he’s has gone mad” my concern suddenly morphed into confusion.

“What do you mean by that C?” I tried probing. His eyes darted left and right , surveying for any filming cameras.

“When the FIA differed Ferrari’s appeal towards Red bull and McLaren , Charles lost it and started trashing the motorhome. And during the race , he ignored all team orders… especially during the last lap. He was told not to push and attack Max. ”

I was suddenly speechless. All the color on my face drained and my palms started to clam up. Brows furrowing as I stared at Carlos , nothing coming out my mouth.

“Pierre and I are planning an intervention before this goes way out of hand and before people get killed on that track. I know that we are asking so much , but we need you with us Y/N” My eyes shot wide as his request registered to me. My throat is growing dryer by the second.

“Carlos , I don’t kno– I’m not su-. I'm sorry, I can't give an answer now. Please let me think about it, ” I pleaded.

“Yes! Y/n ,of course. Just think about it . ” Carlos quickly replied.

“Thank you , C” I smiled as quickly side hugged him and scurried away , desperately trying to find Max or any familiar face from Red Bull.

As I neared the barracks, I schooled my expression — trying to forget what I just heard from the Spanish driver. This was not the time to make things about myself, it was time to celebrate the success of Max and the team.

y/n_stills.

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y/n_stills. Another P1! A monster on the streets and the sheets

maxverstappen1 what can I say 🤷‍♂️and thank you , Liebling.

y/n_stills. 🤭🤭🤭

landonorris what is this caption y/n ?????

y/n_stills. what it’s true 😇

landonorris you two are disgusting

y/n_stills. I wouldn't be too quick to say that Norris , I have dirt on you hehehehe

oscarpiastri Whoa keep it pg , mom. There are kids here!

y/n_stills. close your eyes , Osc!🫣

redbullracing hmmm…

y/n_stills. Oh hi there , employers! Lovely seeing you here 😀

redbullracing we saw nothing…

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randomfoggytiger · 4 months

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"I find it tasteless that you don’t really care what KF did to those young people as long as your golden boy comes out looking alright...."

"You’ll defend anything adjacent to D. I see a lot of arguments that do not have anything to back it up, like he probably acted inappropriately while drunk at a party before and so what? I’m taking about MP (who said she was drunk?) being unable to control herself because she needed everyone to know she was with D and touches his dick in her spare time. Disturbingly, that’s what seems to give her self-worth. All that is why she’s not very likable or tolerable. Evidence shows that chiropractic adjustments do more to harm than help, but as long as people feel they work everything is hunky-dory? It alarming that you don’t care about real harm being done to people’s spines because it’s D’s gf’s father providing the service? I can’t respect people who push any of that bull crap."

-@iwantapenguin, 2024

Lie, verb: lied; lying. To make an untrue statement with intent to deceive. To create a false or misleading impression.

Slander, verb: slandered, slandering. To make false and damaging statements about (someone).

Gloves off, then. But next time, tag me properly so I can be notified that you are going to abandon a civil discussion and resort to violence.

Post I'm responding to here (and tangentially, here.)

I shall also give you the curtesy of quoting you directly so that everyone can judge for themselves if my claims are valid, fair, or truthful.

**Note**: I do not begrudge anyone feeling disgusted or grossed out by age gap relationships: the majority of those relationships start from a bad place, continue in a bad place, and are doomed to fail or take both parties down with it. However, the accusations flung against David and Monique without merit-- not those that are or were provably awkward or roughshod -- are a waste of my time, energy, and brain power. Give me proof or give me death.

First: "Whataboutism?" Wherefore art thou, 'Whataboutism'?

Next: "People who post their family’s whole lives on social media for attention or to make money are vultures." Except Monique doesn't get a cut off of management deals, engagement, or even ads. DD and his kids have posted pics of their personal lives, homes, and vacations, as well. They not only let Monique continue to post pics and videos, but also respond to (West) or engage with (David) them. And hi, yes, hello, I also despise family vloggers because they exploit children who can't consent.

Next: "MP has thousands of followers she does not know, so private her account is not." ...What? You can have a private account and still have followers without following them. I know people who operate their dinosaur Facebook accounts like that, young and old generation; and they're most certainly private citizens. I know youngins and oldins who operate their Twitters like that. You probably do, too, or at least know someone who does. I'm hungry for facts, but nothing's been proven with that statement.

Next: "D is so clueless he didn’t know that Gillian was taking BTS pictures on TXF’s set to post on Instagram." David didn't know GA was posting their bts vids online, true; but he was also the one who brought up that she was "always taking pictures and videos" when they were discussing fan engagement; and he and she both laughed over it while he assured Gillian he was okay with "it", regardless.

Their exact dialogue, transcribed:

David: "You know how stupid I am? How innocent and naive I am? You would take a video and I'd go 'oh, cool'."

Gillian: *smiling* "And not realize that I was gonna post it?"

David: *smiling*: "Yeah, and then you'd post it. It'll be like, 'Oh. Well, I should have taken a look at that one.'

Both: *laughing*

Gillian: "Well, you never complained so I thought you were okay with whatever...."

David: "I AM o-- y'know, none of it was terrible; but it was like, I never think to do it."

Also, he clarified in May 2015 (before, as you theorize, Monique could have gotten her hands on his phone or publicly posted about him) that he doesn't trust social media because of the assumptions, misinterpretations, and no-going-back nature of technology: "The 54-year-old actor, who has daughter West, 16, and son Miller, 12, with ex-wife Téa Leoni, admits he only uses Twitter because he was ''prodded to do it.'' The 'Aquarius' star said: ''I'm skeptical of Twitter. I'm prodded to do it, and so I do it. But I feel like there is an opportunity to screw up constantly. You have to be careful. It doesn't go away anymore! I tell my kids the same thing.'" Not because of some high-minded but too-lazy-to-accomplish-her-schemes gold digger posting his private business behind his back.

Next: "A few of his daughter’s friends unfollowed her after the sneaky filming started. The photos are already out there for many people to see curtesy of MP, so I’ll document her ridiculous behavior." Perhaps. I don't discount it. But if David didn't have a problem posthumously with Gillian filming him then, and if he still doesn't have a problem with Monique filming him now-- and I know he doesn't because I've watched him play to the camera in some leaked vids others repost here or there-- it would make sense, logically, why West engaged in the same behavior then and now, on her own and with Monique. Some days he might not want to be on camera for all posterity-- indirectly implying that lightheartedly to Gillian in the above transcript-- hence the leg and feet filming.

Again, we. don't. know. If she's a monster or he's a monster, I cast them off into the abyss. But we, the public, have no actual, factual information of... anything, really, other than rumors, speculations, or opinions. What we do know is: he was fine with Gillian posting, even after being made aware of it. He's fine with West posting his apartment and their family activities. He was fine posting a pic of Miller to his own account. He seemed fine with West's boyfriend posting an intimate father-daughter hug for Bucky Dent's premiere. And he seems fine with Monique posting since then.

For every mention you have of West and her friends not engaging with Monique years ago, she most certainly does now. And you can't hide that fact behind West using her father as a leg up in the industry without bringing Tea's contacts from both entertainment and finance into the discussion. Tea who, by the way, has been more than cordial and civil in each outing and sighting with David, saying they're friends, saying they still love each other, telling him he's a good influence and father to West, etc. Even after the timeline you allege he started dating Monique. Even after the other dating timeline you allege she gave fans in a conversation somewhere. Even after he flew in and out of New York before the pandemic. Even after spending the pandemic locked down with his son.

Next: "The photos are already out there for many people to see curtesy of MP, so I’ll document her ridiculous behavior. I’m not his gf, I’ve made no vows to him. He likes to make money on voicing his feelings and opinions. While I’ll continue to comment on a public figure." 'Ridiculous behavior', you say, about an adult posting milestones or cute pictures and videos to her Instagram. Interesting. If she were trying to launch her own career-- which you and your responders have said before she would, a couple times, without anything coming to fruition (the archives don't lie)-- your argument would have a leg to stand on. But then again, David and Tea talked about explicit sex (and their sex lives) back in the day; rolled atop each other on a crowded, public beach; sold David's bottom-as-brush paintings for charity; and promoted her charitable causes during their various movie interviews... so, I would still retract half a point.

Next: "She should have the loyalty, respect, love and care to not use him for attention." Would you say he used her for attention during his performance the night before Bucky Dent, pointing at her and waiting for her response during one of his songs? Did he use her for attention during his recent stories about their private lives on recent podcasts? Did he use his children for attention on his podcasts? Did he use Tea for attention during their collaborations? Did she use him for attention to promote her friend's brand during their recent family vacation? If we broaden this out to its conclusion: do the Obamas use their children or each other for attention, setting aside their 'loyalty, respect, love, and care' for each other in order to do so? Or do they just say or post what they want within personalized limitations that are narrowed or broadened as relationships shift and grow?

Next: "He’ll hold her hand or leg in public now that his mother isn’t here to witness them. How romantic." David's stated in the past his mother didn't listen to what the talk shows said or read what the papers wrote about him. If you want to be really technical, he's also said she had dementia or Alzheimer's (can't recall which specifically) for a few years now; and that it was so advanced by the time of her death that she didn't recall one day from the next. Would she have disapproved? You bet your bottom dollar she probably did. She also would have disapproved of him being as explicit and cussy as he was for decades; and she would more than likely have disapproved of him getting tattoos; and she would have most definitely disapproved of all his youthful, adult, and older adult sexual shenanigans, innocent or not. That didn't stop him before.

To be even more technical, most of the pap shots of DD and MP are taken at Soho House and Erewhon Market, two celebrity hotspots that managers, publicists, and paparazzi use to prearrange meetups in order to get the celebrity's name out there in advance of the next promotional tour, as well as merge their interests to get a split of the photograph proceeds. (I covered the topic here.) All David has to do is show up--ultimately, they're business strolls. He's annoyed (even angry) at having to do it; but he still holds up his end of the celebrity bargain 'cuz that's Hollywood, baby. And he's always brought Monique along with him.

Next: "He pushed her hand away when people were looking before...." Continuing on my train of thought. The other times he and Monique were caught unawares by paparazzi (his band at the airport, Vancouver, the beach, etc.) were during the Revival hype. Monique didn't try to snuggle up, grab his hand, or get too close most incidences. The hand move you're referring to was, I believe, after a live show when he was super-duper keyed up, wanted to leave, and was followed (semi-circled?) by fans. Yeah, it could be a sign he wanted physical distance from her... except he acted out the exact same routine with his kids whenever they got papped or surrounded by a crowd: walking ahead of them, retreating into himself, not touching anyone unless they were feeling insecure or scared, looking serious or annoyed unless talked to or joked with. It was a clear pattern to me, so I guess I'm surprised you didn't notice it, too.

Next: "...and made her hold his arm like he was her gramps." I have an older couple-- 70s-- who have been married forever and still hold each other's arm like that, preferring to keep any romantic overtures tightly under wraps. I knew other older couples who would think that's rubbish or insanity. I know other young couples who are physically affectionate in public; and others who, again, would prefer to keep contact to a minimum. I've seen, read, or heard of every shade in-between; and I know you have, too. Maybe David likes how it makes him feel. Maybe Monique likes reenacting Austenian period dramas. Of all the accusations brought against them, this amuses me the most.

To be even more technical, I can pull up preeeeetty much all the paparazzi pics between he and MP in chronological (not release, they were reshuffled) order to prove that he initiated more contact with MP than the other way around, stemming as far back as 2017.

Next: "They didn’t have to have contact with Tim once he started dating their mother but they always did." First of all, I challenge you to prove that assertion. Second of all... why is that the focus of your question? Why did or didn't they have to? That's an assumption equal to the kids having no contact at all with MP for years. We don't know.

Tim said on a podcast that he and Tea shared a trailer to catch a nap early on in their relationship. Their coworkers suspected they were dating the entire first season, long before they announced it publicly (five-six months later around Christmas.) Tea and David previously married each other within eight weeks. Tea moves fast. We don't know how fast; but we do know one source alleged she and Tim were an item since summer (July) of 2014. David then filed for divorce in August, citing an "irretrievable breakdown of the marriage" (meaning Tea was ready to move on, that's her prerogative); and she and Tim spent Season 1 fake kissing but looked like they were "really kissing", according to an onset actor friend. All this to say, pretty sure Madam Secretary's pilot filmed in May; and if she and Tim were "on" by July, etc., it stands to reason she moves at the same pace as she did with her first husband; then David; then (presumably) Tim. Meaning, we don't know how much contact the kids had with Tim; but it was probably, likely, a lot. Monique, meanwhile, lived primarily in California; and she and the kids had separate worlds, we assume, until West graduated and started forming her own relationship behind the scenes. Miller seems to have followed suit; and the rest is history. All of those are provable facts because we have what David and Tea have said about and done with each other; what Tea and Tim have said about each other; what observers have confirmed or denied on all angles of the situation; and what the kids were doing then and doing now.

Next: "She smoked, loved red meat, wasn’t a gym rat etc. It’s just a little thing, not marriage ending but people fair better the more similar their habits." Your previous implication in the comments of our last chat here was that they wouldn't have lasted long because David couldn't mold Tea into the woman HE wanted. You assume he cheated, cheated, cheated until rehab, then cheated, cheated, cheated some more until their second and final breakup (despite the fact sources from her side said the final dissolution was due to her love not being the same as pre-rehab, not that he'd kept acting reprehensibly), then hooked up with a 19-year-old mercenary social climber that, somehow, waited two years before accidentally leaking where she and her boyfriend would be working out (in a reply to the owners of the Instagram gym they would be going to... which means someone had to have been stalking who she was talking to in order to find that information, hm) so he could no longer hide her away like a dirty secret. Those aspects of Tea were brought up to subtly back your larger point, which was to lay the blame at David's feet one way or another. If he deserves it, lay it there. But prove that he deserves it.

Next: "MP is at his beck and call, she will also twin him without hesitation." MP at his beck and call? ...Or maybe she's down to fly free to any cool new location, down to fly wherever he is because he's her boyfriend and she loves him, down to enjoy a financial freedom we mortals could only dream of having, etc., etc.? Assumptions on all sides; and, again, no proof.

Next: "They didn’t follow each other before because they didn’t interact in real life either. She had to leave when they were visiting up until 2022 and 2023. They didn’t have to have contact with Tim once he started dating their mother but they always did." Never denied that was the case. Still don't buy there was some grand conspiracy happening behind the scenes to keep the kids away from the disgusting age gap relationship and the dastardly, evil machinations MP was concocting on her evil Instagram account. I need hard proof before I believe assumptions.

Next: "Regarding Téa you are assuming she must be ok with MP because she’s good with D but I’m pointing out that she admitted she still wanted to strangle him sometimes for the things he does on a national television show" I never said Tea was okay with MP, just that she's more than okay with David despite his relationship.

Also, Tea's throttle comment disproves your angle, actually. Might as well throw it in here because that's a point you've not let go.

Tea's comment with full context:

In fact, the exes are on very amicable terms and talk almost every day, they even shared a rental home with all of their family over the Christmas period. But this doesn't mean the pair's current relationship is always smooth sailing. “On occasion, I want to throttle him,” she said of her former hubby. "But in any real relationship with someone you love, that’s true.”

Tea's quote the previous year, fresh from divorce:

"Listen, David gave me the two greatest gifts on the planet; I don't know how I could ever hate him. We've always loved each other, and we adore these kids," the 'Jurassic Park 3' actress said of her children, Kyd Miller, 12, and Madelaine West, 15. "I'm not playing stupid-I understand feelings can get hurt and things can get icky. We've had our moments like that. But these kids are too important, and he feels the same way. I know it," she continued. "He's a good guy."

Next: "Of course MP showed everyone the second she first hung out with both of them to no one’s surprise." This doesn't hold up in court, either, because West and her boyfriend gushed over MP all summer. West would have complained to her mom or dad if she felt uncomfortable with the video posted; and neither parent have would let that happen again. Furthermore, guess who was relaxed, smiling, and engaging with the camera, other than Monique? West. Guess who hugged up on Monique while her dad and Ben Stiller celebrated Bucky Dent's release with a performance? West. Guess who gave Monique a happy Happy Birthday message? West. Guess who attended a Taylor Swift concert with Monique? West. Guess who went with her to London to, as you say, "babysit" Monique? West. Guess who celebrated her birthday in New York with, you assume, Monique? West. Guess who'll be elsewhere with Monique in future? Probably West.

Next: "What are you taking about fixing things because of what’s written about her? She made fun of people for saying her friend was her boyfriend because they were disgusted by thought of David dating her and didn’t want to believe she was for real. So that was proof she was reading a few tumblrs when her name was first revealed." Logical inference but incomplete reasoning, I believe. David knows exactly what was said about his House of D movie; David knows what everyone was saying and has said about him during his rehab, reunion, and divorce; Tea knows what might be said and forbids Tim to talk about her in interviews; I know and you know what is being said about each other, which is why we're here (but at least I'll respond to you properly with a reblog or @); and Monique knows what people say about her because she possibly Googled herself or, I don't know, took a look at the vitriol in her comments section-- a few of which you've reposted in the past so even I got to see them. Lovely times. Again, no definitive proof.

Next: "How am I supposed to know if she’s read my blog? But what a dedicated reader you are." Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment instead of a barb. I began poking around your archives right around the time you made a post trying to debunk my David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson seasonal palette posts. (If you're trying to put me off, consider that you brought up our difference of opinion once again in the midst of an entirely separate talk about Monique and David's relationship.) You didn't have the curtesy to @ me then (and now); but I started scrolling while waiting for you to respond, came across a host of information, and decided to come back later to iron out some details. Needless to say, you can't passive-aggressively point a finger at me when your posts are supposed to be public to begin with, not even coyly private like you claim Monique's Instagram account is. One pointing forward, three pointing back, after all.

While we're on the topic, I also caught a lie you told during our previous conversation. Back in 2019? you put a cryptic message saying you didn't believe David and West were close because of Monique; and when West posted the next day for Father's Day, you followed up with another cryptic post hinting MP was reading her Tumblr detractors; and when another user called you out for that, you denied, denied, denied that was your intent; and then you confirmed that that had been your intent to me (in essence, restating that you believe MP keeps up with her anti Tumblr accounts and pressures DD's kids through him to post nice family tributes so they'll cover for her manipulative tactics actively destroying everyone's hunky dory life.) It's the same train of thought as "Gillovny is married"; except your theories are couched with half facts instead of pure insanity.

Next: "She’s never looked anorexic to me so thin yes but not too thin. D was only shockingly thin after Téa left him for good in 2011. My criticism has alway been to question the men in her life and her surroundings pushing her to get plastic surgery and to over exercise which made her much slimmer than she was before. Is that constructive enough?" Yes, actually; because this ties beautifully into my next point about your warfare tactics.

Indirect aggression is a form of aggression that hides behind "my opinion" or "my two cents" to bully others without receiving backlash. While it can be used in sexually competitive environments (in same sex bullying, for example), it mainly extends to interpersonal groups, families, and anonymous online forums. To quote National Library of Medicine: "According to Björkqvist [15], females prefer to use indirect aggression over direct aggression (i.e. verbal and physical aggression) because this form of aggression maximizes the harm inflicted on the victim while minimizing the personal danger involved. The risk to the perpetrator is lower because he/she often remains anonymous, thereby avoiding a counterattack. As well, indirect aggression harms others in such a socially skilled manner that the aggressor can also make it appear as if there was ‘no intention to hurt at all’." I recommend reading the study: it has a few fascinating things to say about perceived threats and thinness, as well.

The study continues: "Indirect aggression is circuitous in nature and entails actions such as getting others to dislike a person, excluding peers from the group, giving someone the ‘silent treatment’, purposefully divulging secrets to others, and the use of derisive body and facial gestures to make another feel self-conscious." While I can't see your face while typing out a post, your words do a sufficient enough job: "When has she ever been stunning honestly? She’s comparable to Perry Reeves and Suzanne Lanza. Average, a little masculine, thin and no sagging. The face doesn’t matter to men like David, nor intellect."

Another quote from a study published on PubMed Central: "In indirect aggression, the aggressor often uses others in the social group to harm the target and may avoid direct confrontation, whereas in direct aggression, the aggressor either physically or verbally confronts the target." Examples? Posting one's opinions about another person indirectly to their blog by not, say, tagging or addressing the 'opposition' directly, leaving them to be told about it or stumble onto it later before they can defend themselves... that might, perhaps, fit the bill. As would calling David and Monique names; then, when given pushback, telling detractors they don't need to care about your opinions, anyway. (For the record, I don't. Just found it fascinating to study the oh so subtle shifts of your narrative back and forth. That compliment's a freebie, by the way-- I try to hand out at least one in each negatively bent post.)

Don't get me wrong: if Monique were a provably bad person, I'd dust off my hands and let you have at. But for all your opinions, you have very few facts; and the mess-ups, flubs, or ill-thought actions on MP's part you have mentioned are so disparate and scattered-- and rarely repeated-- that they look less like condemning incidents and more like overblown reactions to mundane or innocent mistakes.

And before you write off my points by claiming I'm claiming you're jealous of Monique or some such nonsense, one of the above studies openly acknowledges that indirect aggression is not built on the premise of intrasexual competition strategy: "...developmental psychologists have tended to not conceptualize females' use of indirect aggression as an intrasexual competition strategy."

Next: "Again with the whataboutism." Art thou 'Whataboutism'?

Next: "So you were at the after party to see people’s reactions and parties where D’s been drunk?" No, and neither were you. You were also not at David's apartment when Monique and the kids might or might not have been there; you were also not in the room when David and Tea and the kids discussed Tim or Monique; and you were also not in either Monique's or David's head during the posts, blocks, unfollows, refollows, etc. decisions that were made. I merely commented on the fact that you have brought up his drinking before events in in the past, your reactions to it, others on here's reactions to it, and David's circle of friends, and what I do and don't know of said friends' behavior in the past.

Next: "D and T were inappropriate but consensual. PM pulled G’s bikini bottom down when she was trying to close the umbrella and I slammed him for that too. She was humiliated and embarrassed when the pictures were released." Conflation. David and Tea were surrounded by people in both instances, knew others could see them, and didn't care, inappropriate or not. Peter Morgan and Gillian were on a private vacation; and their privacy was infringed on by the paparazzi and media. For all the negative talk that came out of that incident, not one person stated that G was unwilling, visibly uncomfortable, or angry at Peter Morgan for doing so; only that she was "humiliated and embarrassed" after the fact. The problem in BOTH situations is that PM and MP were groping their partners in what they took for granted as private situations-- I have a casual understanding of David's friends and wouldn't be surprised if they didn't care about her or his antics in the long run-- and were filmed without any parties' consent.

Next: "D did not know what MP was doing, he almost spilled his drink jumping back away from her and he did not look like he enjoyed that trick in a room full of strangers." I saw the video a couple times. Did you not catch his smirk once he realized she wasn't trying to tickle his stomach but was doing a game to end up at his junk? It wasn't a polite one, either. If she had intentionally crossed a boundary and made him uncomfortable, I condone that behavior.

Next: "Defending that kind of public humiliation is repugnant." That's a lie, and you know it. Not once in our conversation have I taken the position of condoning, endorsing, or rug sweeping manipulative, abusive, coercive, or other boundary stomping behaviors. They are repugnant to me; and though being called 'repugnant' doesn't make a dent because you have no proof to back up your claim. And, frankly, it speaks to your character that you would try to blacken mine.

Next: "I find it tasteless that you don’t really care what KF did to those young people as long as your golden boy comes out looking alright."

Excuse you, that is a lie and slander.

In the comments of our previous conversation, I stated over and over he was a pimp. He should absolutely rot for what he's done. But you assume that Monique is just as guilty: benefiting from a business relationship with him, sweeping his treatment of other girls under the rug, using a victim's story to score back pats for herself. The reality is, the victim sided with Monique, both when MP supported her in the comments and when MP posted her own Instagram story sharing she'd been "there" before. Foregoing the obvious conclusion, you posted their first back and forth with other comments tearing Monique apart as the secret villain in this tragic story. That's disgusting, in my opinion. I tried to understand why you got to that conclusion; but if not only her friends, not only her coworkers, but the victim HERSELF is standing by Monique, then it is not the time to vindictively insinuate she exercised the same mean, grasping, oily tactics as her former boss. Further, that she was exploiting someone else's tragedy and trauma for her own gain.

Next: "She can be immature and also be a user who uses situations to her advantage." To quote you once again: that's a lie. Prove it. You can't. You can only assume what her intent, motives, and actions are based on your inference of her character.

Next: "...the old greasy celebrity rocker KR was trying to push on them." You can't prove that; and until you can, I can sit here and say it's a lie. It's your inference against mine.

Next: "She did not say she was mistreated by her boss." I never said her boss mistreated her. I never even got that indication from the post you spread around. She related to her coworker's experience through her personal one. Just because KR was an absolute monster to other girls doesn't mean he was a monster to all of them: monsters, abusers, and manipulators pick on the weakest person who has no one to stand behind and back them up. Her father, for instance, would have been a not insignificant buffer. He's well-connected in California, or so you imply by saying he's met David before. And it stands to reason he would be, supplement and wellness culture being what it is in the Golden State.

Next: "According to you MP was an adult and mature enough so she should have know what those special favors from the boss looked like to everyone else." Let's not get into the "his family and friends should have known Ted Bundy was a horrible person" of it all. No one knows what they're not aware of. I have a close, close family member who grew up adoring an abuser because he'd never abused her; yet was horrified and had to process the fact her other sibling was being used for everything short of penetration. To quote a good ol' Aslan meme: "Do not cite the deep magic to me, Witch! I was there when it was written."

Next: "She wrote a short perfunctory show of support for damage control and went back to thanking her lucky stars she now has an easy life of privilege living in a multi-million dollar Malibu home by the ocean thanks to her boss at SLO." First: prove it. You can't with any degree of fact. Second: I'd be thanking my lucky stars, too. So would you. So does everyone who's been in a tangential situation to an abuser and escaped unscathed-- so unscathed that they didn't even know the boss was perpetuating abuse. And that can at least be proven because, as you say, MP's boyfriend was still buying from that shop days before everything broke out; and she publicly empathized with and received empathy from the victim right after. Has the victim made a scathing comment calling out Monique later? Nope. Bet they're still on good terms, too.

Next: "What else does a very rich 54 year old man want from a 21 year old but lots of sex and an easy relationship with someone who doesn’t know any better?" Lots of sex, an easy relationship free of the complicated dynamics of children from other relationships, and someone to love and love him. Seems logical to me. What is unacceptable in age gap relationships are the predators who aim for 21-year-olds (or 19-year-olds, as you posit) because they pull women their age and can't aim lower; and who lock 'em down and knock 'em up as quickly as possible so they can't escape. Or those who say "yeah, sure, I'll marry you" while dragging their feet until the girl (as they see her) gives up and stays or gets up and leaves. If the latter, they start fresh with another young woman who might not see through their routine bag of tricks. David, for all his faults, has stated his intentions up front and publicly: he's not marrying again. He still wears the ring tattoo from his previous relationship. He relived the trauma of a broken home through his own actions. He still can't dwell on the pain his kids went through during that time. Unless he decides to change his mind, Monique's outta luck. Yet, I don't believe she cares as much as you do if they do get married or not. Certainly not as far as either of us can prove, anyway. By the way, Tea and Tim haven't married yet, either; and they've been together provably longer than Monique and David.

Next: "She was male celebrity obsessed, younger but she went with the one who came into the shop and showed interest." Prove it. You can't. Let's say that's the case: she would've hopped to a new person long before now. David's got friends, she's gone to his parties, she's met his people. Opportunists don't sit long with a second option when they get an opportunity to grab for their first. I read your old posts about her Twitter/Instagram follows; but none of you take into account if she was following other people and pruned those people out as her interests changed. You also can't prove when she followed those accounts: the next day after she opened her account? A month after? A year after? I have accounts open I've never used; I have family and friends that do, as well. Let's say she opened it right away and began using it: again, when did she follow those accounts? Were those celebrities part of a collective that her boss or coworkers said came into the shop? Did she prune out the others after seeing them in person? Why? Because you assume other celebrities are immune to her masterfully unskilled manipulation, but David wasn't?

Next" "You’ll defend anything adjacent to D."

That's a lie.

Prove it. He had to go into a sex addiction program because he hurt his wife and kids. He talks about saving the planet yet doesn't take more than bare minimum actionable steps himself. (What he does in his personal life is of no concern to me; but it is hypocritical of him.) If he backs up Chris Carter against Gillian in the Revival controversy, I will lose a qualitative amount of respect for him (because there is actual, factual proof of wrongdoing on Chris's part to his longtime friend and mother of his goddaughter.) He has blind spots, faults, weaknesses, and failures like any other person.

Next: "I see a lot of arguments that do not have anything to back it up, like he probably acted inappropriately while drunk at a party before and so what?" No, my comment was even you have picked at DD for drinking before his shows. That even he has probably acted on impulse before or during a party. That even he didn't seem too bothered after he realized MP wasn't tickling him. That his expression changed when he saw someone filming their interaction. I also pointed out his and Tea's post-rehab reconciliation shenanigans of equal and greater caliber (having a jolly time at a public ballgame and rolling on top of each around other beachgoers.) I also pointed out that GA had a Portofino moment. Would I grab my boyfriend's junk if we were in public? No. But David did with Tea. The only difference between those situations was DD and T had the power of denial on their side while MP was not afforded that luxury. You called her behavior trashy; but posting someone's junk grab to the internet without their consent is trashier to me.

Next: "Disturbingly, that’s what seems to give her self-worth." Prove it, with testimony and evidence other than assumptions you and other Tumblr, Instagram, or Twitter jockeys assume and interpret. Give me a firsthand witness of her behavior. Give me a former friend or a colleague. Give me a family member. Give me someone other than people on Twitter being blocked by DD's account and assuming it's her. Further, give me proof what they were saying before they were blocked: I don't give mercy to people being snide, snarky, or vile and boohooing about it later. You don't, either, so I'm sure you'll respect that quality.

Next: "Evidence shows that chiropractic adjustments do more to harm than help...."

That's a lie, and a pretty brazen one.

WebMD, MayoClinic, Medical News Today, healthline, and more medical websites and journals have articles promoting chiropractic methods, as well as the warning signs like any other medical procedure. The only disclaimer they put up was that chiropractic adjustments haven't shown a conclusive improvement in athletic achievement.

One of their articles state: "All chiropractors must earn a postgraduate degree (DC), taking up to 4 years to complete, and are required 90 semester hours of undergraduate coursework, and some programs require a bachelor's degree. All states also require chiropractors to be licensed." And all medical doctors and nurses are required to be licensed if they practice medicine; yet, bad apples slip through the cracks. It's slander to paint me as a blackhearted, single-minded, "let them eat cake" person towards victims of possible scammers, manipulators, and frauds just because I don't fall in line with your viewpoint. Further, you indirectly lump me in with your public statements about her "snake oil salesman" father without having any proof whatsoever that chiropractic practice is detrimental other than a few studies-- which I hope you didn't lie about looking up, too-- that the medical community doesn't even stand behind, while using them as your sword and shield. All because you didn't have concrete proof against Monique's father, all because Monique is dating David, all because you don't like their relationship.

More quotes and linked studies from healthline: "For example, in a 2015 study, researchers found that a group of 544 people in chiropractic care reported a high level of satisfaction. ...A 2016 study found that the Cobb angle in a group of five children with scoliosis improved after 8 weeks of chiropractic treatment. Noticeable improvements were seen after 4 weeks of treatment. ...A 2017 case study examined the effect of chiropractic treatment on a 27-year-old woman suffering from back pain, neck pain, and headaches caused by hyperkyphosis posture." They even provide guidelines to find a chiropractor-- "Ask for recommendations from your doctor, physical therapist, or other healthcare provider." And-- "Ask your friends, coworkers, or family members if they have any recommendations."

Next: "Evidence shows that chiropractic adjustments do more to harm than help, but as long as people feel they work everything is hunky-dory?" Prove it. I have genetic backproblems riddling the maternal side of my family; and my great grandmother, a nurse, and her daughter, my grandmother, both had their spines slowly realigned over time with chiropractic procedures. From an almost noticeable hunch to an almost straight line.

Next: "It alarming that you don’t care about real harm being done to people’s spines because it’s D’s gf’s father providing the service?" I also have a maternal family member who suffers from severe back pain every day but can't afford treatment where she lives. You know how I help? Reflexology. Every time, it takes her back from a ~8/10 to almost nothing-- and this from a woman hypersensitive to her body's workings and with an incredible pain tolerance. And yet, I'd be the first person to sign her up for surgery if I could. I regularly push her to seek medical attention for the most minor inconveniences.

CONCLUSION

I'm sorry to say that you are either: A. blinded by my lack of agreement into misinterpreting my words to fit your own narrative-- which is really probable, actually-- or B. willfully telling lies, to yourself or others, because it helps you feel like you've come off on top of an argument.

I'm not interested in creating a rift or a war. I'm also not interested in lies, slander, gossip, and bullying disguised as "this is my opinion."

You can attest I've been nothing but kind, overly so, in the past; and that I didn't ever strike out unless you struck first-- and even then, only to mimic your words or phrases back to you.

I do not respect your opinions: they are baseless and poisonous.

I do not respect your tactics: they are beneath you and I.

I do not respect your lies and slander: that is a given.

Fare thee well. I'm sure we shall speak again.

#iwantapenguin #drama #skip if you don't want to read a breakdown of lies and slander XDDD #this has devolved from a civil discussion to a slander campaign #no chiropractic measures are not anti-science: even WebMD/healthline/Mayo Clinic promotes them #no I do not stand behind all age gap relationships #no I don't believe David is faultless #no David is not my golden boy #no I do not believe in your assumptions because I've tracked all of them to their starting points and they mostly contradict each other #or are based on anons or blind items that ALSO contradict your opinions #yes West is a nepo baby but no she is not friends with MP to get jobs from her dad when she can also get contacts from her mom #who has long-standing connections in the financial/wealthy/high society money class as well as entertainment #no I do not repugnantly defend public humiliation #(I pulled up exact quotes to prove my points below:)#no MP doesn't post behind DD's back and no DD wasn't uncomfortable just because he wasn't aware of it #no Tea does not want to strangle him because of Monique #no MP isn't exploiting the victim of a pimp and groomer just because she worked at his shop (like... y'know... the victim)#yes I do care about victims who are duped and deceived by snake oil salesmen #yes this post is long. Had a lot to respond to; and a lot to disprove

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kuwdora · 10 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @deerna and @jawanaka !

How many works do you have on A03? 110 - but this would probably be +200 if I had been crossposting my fanvids there. I still remember when video embeds did not work on AO3 pages. But that was ages ago. And I’m terrible at crossposting. Especially when I have so many to crosspost at this point.

What's your total A03 word count? 280,783

What fandoms do you write for? In the past it was Stargate SG-1/Atlantis, Heroes and Sanctuary and a lovely romp with Being Human UK. Star Trek. These days I’m still on The Witcher, with the occasional fleeting non-witcher stuff I manage to finish.

What are your top five fics by kudos? I can see through you, The Witcher Netflix. My Geralt and Jaskier role reversal thing. More like a role inversion.

Surface Tension, The Witcher Netflix. soft very established relationship Geralt/Yen/Jaskier smut.

Papa’s Got a Brand New Suit, Star Trek: Deep Space 9. Julian/Garak PWP. From ye olde porn battle days. Learning Curve, The Witcher Netflix. Yen/Jaskier, post-season 2 soft feelings and sex with an emphasis on all of Yennefer's pain.

Heart Tap, The Witcher Netflix. Leshen Eskel(/Geralt). My first story about what it could be like for Eskel to live with his transformation into a monster. I'm actually surprised this is in my top 5 kudos considering how niche it is but man I love my tree boyfriend and have so many more thoughts about him that I haven't gotten out yet...

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! I try to respond to comments when I can. Sometimes it takes forever and sometimes I do forget to respond to comments but man I love rolling around in them.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? My angstiest endings are for fic that I haven’t finished or posted on AO3 yet for more of my witcher fixations. But for posted things?? Hmm. I do have an old Heroes fic called Code of Hammurabi that is Peter/Sylar time travel AU that’s particularly angsty and gave me the chance to rummage around in the way Peter would endure in a very very messy situation.

Oh, my Doctor Sleep ficlet is also pretty angsty. Danny reflecting on his time with Billy when Billy's ghost shows up. I'm smiling upside down is the name of that ficlet.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Oh that’s probably my smutty fluffy thing for Being Human. PWP. Moon Mambo, Hal/Tom.

Do you get hate on fics? No, but I sense that’s only a matter of time before someone directs their hate at me.

Do you write smut? Yup.

Do you write crossovers? Yes, but not for a very long time. I have a “Ciri collects all the young girl protagonists from sci-fi/fantasy books for a group project” crossover idea but my focus is too scattered to get that going. I did start it with a Nona-meets-Ciri Locked Tomb/witcher crossover here: Call to Adventure.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I’m aware of. I think my stuff is far too niche and self-indulgent for that kind of thing but who knows. The internet is a smaller place these days but people seem to find new ways to steal. Alternatively: I did learn that someone submitted one of my Stargate SG-1 vids to a Creation Con fanvid contest that had prize money in it. That was very upsetting to learn well after the fact.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, not co-written. But I do love rolling around with my beta and workshopping my fic into better shape and a lot of my stuff ends up way better as a result of my betas. And I also love doing the same with folks who ask me for beta. It’s a fun kind of collaboration.

What's your all-time favourite ship? Agh this one is so hard. Don’t make me pick just one. Aeryn/John from Farscape. Fraser/Ray(s) from due South. I don’t write a lot of book Yennefer/Geralt but they also are It for me.

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh my god, definitely my TWN Leshkel canonical divergence AU thing. I have something like a whole season 2 (not a fix-it) outlined, with lots of stuff focusing on Ciri and Leshy Eskel, and Leshy Eskel with Triss. With more stuff about witcher-and-leshen biology and Wolf School disappearing, Kaer Morhen becoming a magical greenhouse where a mythical Swallow is rumored to visit every 6 years.

What are your writing strengths? Description, maybe characterizations. Theme and tone.

What are your writing weaknesses? Too much description, comma splices. Slow pacing.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I think it’s fun to do but it can be a lot to read and I definitely will overthink the writing and both the reading. If it suits the characterization and context clues within the text, I think that’s cool. But I think it’s fine to go without con-lang or other languages in fic. It’s just a matter of texture and color that adds to the scene, you know?

First fandom you wrote for? Stargate SG-1.

Favourite fic you've ever written? Ever??? It’s so hard to pick just one. Hang on, I got several of those ‘rec 5 of your favorite fics’ asks in my inbox. Lemme see if I can pick 5 for that.

#whewwww i have been ill this month but i finally have energy to pick up one of my tag games! yayayayay #i must have at least another 100k of fic i've written in the last 14 months that's not finished. i really ought to do a wip amnesty thing #but i don't wanna let go #hmmmm #tag game #writing meme #meme #fic meme #ao3 meme #textpost

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lumiereandcogsworth · 3 months

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smoshblr tag game yippeee!!!

“tagged” by @unknownteapot hehe!!

also i have to put this under the cut because uhhh too long 🫣

1. how long have you been watching smosh? WELL i do have very fond memories of watching the boys with my brother back in maybe 2011? 2012? maybe later idk. i specifically remember the pokémon vids, man-spider, the paranormal easy bake oven, and this one where the entire time you thought that he (i cannot remember who. i think anthony) got his dick stuck in a port-o-potty’s door, and he’s like stuck there for days, and the whole time you think it’s his dick that’s stuck, only for it to be revealed at the end that it was the burger that he brought in with him. THAT got stuck in the door 😭 idk why that one lives in my head so prominently, but it’s so stupid LMAO. anyway… then i started watching pewdiepie and eventually got more into shows on netflix (superwholock nation😐✊) than youtube. THEN in like 2019, my brother rediscovered smosh by way of try not to laugh. and showed them to me. and for a couple years that’s ALL i watched. like legitimately just checked smosh (pit) once every two weeks and watched it, then carried on. i loved it and them but i still didn’t have the desire to check out any other stuff lmao. and THENNNNN at the beginning of 2023, i just very randomly decided, in my boredom and unemployment, to check out their other stuff. and boyyyyy did i get hooked. and i’ve been watching everything ever since. so, very long-winded way of saying i’ve known about them for over ten years, but i’ve been DEDICATED to watching ALL of them for about a year and a half :)

2. favorite smosh cast member(s)? shayne’s been my fave since 2019, and since 2023 amanda has very prominently become second fave, if not tied with shayne. i also love courtney and spencer and tommy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TREVOR AH

3. favorite pairing(s)? well in terms of actual ships i’m sooooooo so happy for shayne & courtney and they’re SO cute :”) in terms of just like, any duos? shayne & amanda (of course), spencer & courtney, amanda & angela, tommy & spencer, and chanse & damien — they have a very underrated dynamic, like when they’re in videos together they’re so wildly in sync. they seem unlikely but i think damien brings out the nerd in chanse the best lol. also i love so many duos gosh!!!!!!! they’re all such good pals with each other it’s rare to NOT have a good duo. ian being arasha’s “dad” is always a fun bit lmao.

4. favorite reoccurring character? im a chosen girlie for sure 🥹 love that freak.

5. favorite smosh video? oh my goshhh that’s so hard. i love to rewatch shayne & courtney’s tntl trivial pursuit. i love lots of the don’t win mario partys. love when they play werewolf (and blood on the clock tower.) and OF COURSE, love so so so many try not to laughs 🥰🫶

6. first video that got you into smosh? i wish i remembered the first “other” vid i watched last year, but i do not 😔 i also wish i remembered the first tntl my brother showed me, but alas i do not 😔 i can’t even say i remember which early smosh vid he showed me first all those years ago, but i’m going to guess it was one of the pokemon ones. so that’s gonna have to suffice as my answer lmao

7. favorite picture of the cast? i don’t know if i have a favorite favorite but this recent one from the live is very cute and silly <3

8. favorite picture of your fave? i mean really anything this dumbass posts. why is he like this

9. what smosh series do you want to see more of? gosh i’d loooove if they brought let’s do this! back!!! AND IDIOTS PRESENT!!!!!

10. dream guest on smosh mouth? oh my gosh uhhh… i literally don’t know. maybe vanessa lachey just to see amanda resisting the urge to commit murder for a full hour.

tagging: @japhan2024 @hoohoobeanie + anyone else can say i tagged them bc i’m not confident who of my followers are here for smosh adjskdj 💛

#YIPPEEEE :))#tagged

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coachkage-blog · 2 years

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oh man.. it has been a minute

how time flies... Just a few years ago, I was dipping my toe into the water of social media with this blog and now fast forward a few years I’m coming back with a much deeper Twitter & TikTok following.

Well hopefully I can put some more information out there and help all those who are lost. I’m going to tag team this with a youtube vlog and hopefully reach all who are looking for this information.

The three things I want to answer for you in each installment is:

1) What’s going on in the world of college football for college coaches right now? Hopefully gives you an idea of what their day to day is like

2) What’s going on in my world? well because this is my blog and maybe my story can be helpful to others

3) What should you be doing right now? Whether you’re a student-athlete, HS coach, or parent... just some quick tips on putting yourself in a great position to maximize the time

so to answer question 1 - we are knee deep in the offseason for coaches. Signing day has passed, most early action deadlines have passed. So for a lot of college football recruiting is done. There are still a ton of places looking, but these are probably a handful of FCS & D2 programs, and a bunch of D3, NAIA, and JUCO. Most coaches are on an abbreviated schedule, maybe they get into the office a little later than in-season, or they have a 3 day weekend, but this is the time of year they DIVE into cut ups.

They are watching every snap of their season. They are studying other teams, usually a program or coordinator who’s done really well, and they are trying to figure out how they can get better for next season. They are making changes to the playbook and prepping for spring ball, but recruiting is really on the back burner unless they are finishing their class later. They may start looking at the class of ‘24 & ‘25, they’ll host Junior Days (that will be a separate entry, don’t get me started on Junior Days) but for the most part they are focused on spring and watching their current team develop throughout winter training.

What’s been going on in my life??? Well... that’s another story. Last time I posted I was coaching at Ursinus College, D3 outside of Philadelphia. Since then, I accepted a QC role at the University of Akron (probably where a lot of you first gave me a follow), from there I was fortunate to get a DC role at Whittier College. When I first got to Whittier, I didn’t really know what I had gotten myself into. The roster was really depleted. 27 guys on defense. After injuries and Co-vid, we went into games with 15-16 healthy bodies. It was tough to finish a game, let alone compete.

Our staff did an AMAZING job recruiting, we brought in a class of around 50, no thanks to the administration (more on that later.) But we hoped it gave us a chance to compete. We improved but with about 13-15 first years playing on either side of the ball, we were still a few years away from really contending. That’s when we had the rug pulled out from underneath us. The administration decided to drop the football program, as well as Golf and Men’s LAX. There’s a lot I could say about that whole experience because it was really crazy and you wouldn’t believe some of the things that transpired... but that’s another story for another time. I was fortunate to be able to volunteer at UCLA in the recruiting department where I find myself now. I am still looking for a full time opportunity but it’s been amazing to learn from and get to know all the great people in this organization.

What should you be doing right now?

If you’re a student-athlete, you have got to be crushing school... if you’re playing a winter sport, focus on that... but taking care of your business. Junior Days are popping up, whether you’re invited or not.. can make them or not... is not a huge deal. They are very general and usually have nothing to do with whether you are being recruited their or not. So take care of business.. if you’re in the class of 23 - FIND A HOME... no d1′s are reaching out this late... find a home

24′s - start to reach out to programs. Again if you read what coaches are doing right now, they aren’t going to be lighting the phones up yet... but they are building their boards for the future

25′s and younger - you probably won’t hear anything unless you’re the top 1% of HS players who are getting FBS offers. Stay patient

Parents - be ready for Junior Days, again they aren’t the end all and be all. But summer camps are coming up in a few months, there are a lot of them... everyone is going to want your money... We’ll talk more in future installments on how to get the most out of your summer camp circuit and hopefully get your son infront of the right people

HS Coaches - keep sending your lists out. I think it’s really important to find college coaches and get to know them and what their program looks for. At Whittier, we paid for a handful of services but almost every kid we recruited was from NCSA or Verified Athletics and in the state of California. Because it fit our footprint, we weren’t going to get a random kid from South Carolina unless that kid was dead set on Southern California and he had money to spend. In the same way, UCLA has access to such powerful recruiting services... they probably know about your kids already and if they don’t they probably aren’t going to be a fit at a P5 program. When I was at Akron, we had some good recruiting services but we also relied on uncovering kids through coaches in our footprint. So it runs the gambit, but educating yourself on your college coach connections will help build rapport with those programs

Well that’s it for now, I’ll be updating this in a few weeks with some more info on Junior Days and what you can expect come spring.

- coachkage

#college #football #collegefootball #ncaa #recruit #recruiting #madden

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bastillewolf · 4 years

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Shinigami Eyes (I)

Pairing: Corpse Husband / Reader

Summary: When you’re paired up with Corpse as imposters in a game of Among Us, you seem to somehow apprehend each others strategies even though it’s the first time you’ve ever played together. He appreciates a good impostor.

Notes: I know I still have many fics I need to finish, but I just wanted to throw out a quick Corpse one because sad to say I’ve been simping for him too. By the way, this is my interpretation of him and this is just for fun. Also, I haven’t written for second person in a while, so I’m sorry if this sucks.

TAG LIST CLOSED!

Shinigami Eyes - Oneshot

“Hey, I wanted to invite Corpse,” Sean said right as the Among Us theme started playing on your computer.

“Great vooooice,” Grease called out.

“Oh, I haven’t played with him before,” you said. It was true, but you’d heard of his legendary voice before and your viewers had been asking for him. You’d only allow it because No Simp September was over. Chat was already going mad.

“You’ll love him. Unless he murders you, because he’s a great imposter,” Sean replies. “He’s too good,” Felix adds.

After a moment, you heard the familiar noise of someone joining the Discord. “Hello everyone,” a deep rumble greeted. The group all said their welcomes, while you introduced yourself. “Very nice to meet you, Corpse,” you added. You didn’t want to comment on the obvious. He must hear it all the time. But you couldn’t deny it was like silk to your ears.

“Nice to meet you to. You make great vids.” A blush spread across your cheeks, “You shouldn’t say things like that, chat is already jealous.” He chuckled.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Impostor

Great, you’re instantly sweating. Thankfully, though, it seems you were lucky enough to have been teamed up with the king of lying himself. Corpse’s name is as bloodred as yours.

You decide to follow him after Toast and Sean, and think about how it was Sean who ironically invited the person who was going to murder him in just a few moments. All four of you were being decontaminated below lab, when Corpse made stepped a tad closer to him. You almost synchronically chopped their heads off, and you squealed in excitement. 2 down, 4 to go. As long as no one would find their bodies for a while, you still had time.

Next thing, you’re out of the South entrance and you’ve split up. You join Sykkuno in electric and just wait on him to do his task. Felix joins you afterwards in the next room. That’s when Toast’s body, and ultimately Sean’s, is reported.

Corpse had run back and self-reported.

“Corpse and I just ran into decontamination and found Sean and Toast,” Rae announced.

You were still muted. “Oh god, he’s playing a dangerous game.”

Sykkuno decided it would be the perfect time to call you out. “You and Felix only joined me a while later and decided to stay. Kinda sus of you.”

“No, she was with me at the beginning. I watched her do a task in office,” your fellow impostor vouched. They’d been right, he’s a damn good liar. He manages to hide any sliver of emotion in that deep baritone.

“I don’t trust Corpse anymore, he does stuff like this all the time when he’s impostor,” Lily noted.

“Stuff like what?” He huffed in amusement.

The group agreed the accusation made was a bit vague, and it had affectively directed the attention away from you and onto Felix. After another round of some serious investigating and threatening you all decided to skip.

“Corpse makes me feel less nervous about being an impostor,” you tell chat, “He seems so chill about it.” You ran down to Weapons, but decided against killing anyone when you found three people doing tasks there. You shoved yourself into the clump of bodies and waited until everyone had finished. Running back up to centre with both Lily and Rae, you felt restless that you would eventually have to kill one of them. You just hoped they wouldn’t take it personally.

Corpse ran past, alone. Your characters didn’t have eyes, but somehow they showed a mutual understanding. He killed Lily, you killed Rae. You sputtered and chortled and followed right on after him down into the venthole. He met you in the bathroom stall. “Cosy,” you joked. Until Grease walked in. “Oh, that’s awkward.” You realized you were still standing suspiciously over the venthole. “Shit.”

You didn’t know where Grease had gone, but your first instinct was to hit the red emergency meeting button in the Office. “Grease was in the bathroom stall hovering over a vent.” You may not have your fellow impostors emotionless tone, but you knew laughing through your accusation usually worked.

“Are you kidding me?! I just saw you and Corpse standing in there doing I don’t know what!” Grease yelled.

“That’s a bold statement. You know I’d never cheat on Sykkuno,” Corpse said. “Wait, what?” the man in question replied. Corpse ignored him.

“Corpse was with me when I found you there. On another note I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people vent at the same time before.” Two truths, technically.

“Alright, I’m voting Grease,” Felix said, “I’m sensing liar voice.”

Sykkuno suspected Grease and you, but promised he’d vote you out after if he was wrong. “We have to vote now,” you reminded them.

Grease was ejected.

You met Corpse again in laboratory, where only Felix was doing a task. No one moved. “Oh no, you may have the honours,” you gracefully called out to an unsuspecting impostor. He seemed to get the message through however, and swiftly killed Felix when the Kill button was set to press again.

Defeat.

“Oh my god, that was so stressful,” you cried out. Corpse chuckled, “Don’t worry, you did great.”

“Hey, don’t you dare steal him,” Sean threatened, “He’s my impostor mate!” You laughed.

“You murdered me and Lily almost synchronically,” Rae sputtered, to which Sean added, “Oh my god, same here. It was some nasty psychic shit.” “Corpse and I just have the Shinigami eyes,” you explained. You saw Corpse’s name flash in the top left corner, but only heard him exhale in amusement. It was cute.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Impostor

“Oh… my… god.” Has this ever happened before in this game? Either way, no one will suspect both of you to be it again. You imagine he was feeling similarly, as he hadn’t moved from the spawn point yet. “How in the fuck…?” Chat was confused, but seemed to enjoy the spectacle.

You and corpse split up this time. Don’t use the same tactics twice.

You followed Felix and Sykkuno into Office and faked a task. They decided to wait for you, and you kept your eyes on the green bar until it moved. You travelled trough Admin and Decontamination until you met up with Lily in Labs. “Shit,” you murmured, “There’s too many people. I’m gonna look suspicious.”

Corpse showed up. Lily and Sykkuno left. You killed Felix. Toast walked in, and unfortunately at the hands of your teammate, he did become toast.

You ran in a circle around him and hoped it was enough of a hint for him to follow you. He picked up on it and followed you into the bathroom stall. But neither of you vented. You let a smile slip, almost forgetting you had a face cam. Awkwardly clearing your throat, you explained to your viewers in a very non-convincing way this was just a good impostor strategy. They’d do well to learn from it.

The bodies were reported instantly, and you cursed under your breath. Lily was the one who reported it. “So, I found Felix in Labs and there were only two other people in there before me and Sykkuno left.”

“I went down through Decontamination,” you explained, “I lost Corpse back at Labs.”

“I went back North, I passed you on the way there, Lily.”

Lily was sus of you. “What? Why?!” You asked. “Because I didn’t see anyone in Decontamination and there’s no way you could’ve gone through there that quickly. I wasn’t gone that long,” she said.

Well, shit. “Weren’t the lights off? You couldn’t possibly see me in Decontamination. I’m wondering why you walked back into Labs anyway, Lily.”

A series of ‘ooh’s were heard through the Discord call.

“But I was running up that hallway, I didn’t see you come out,” Grease suddenly spoke up.

“Why were you in there, Grease?” Corpse asked, but you knew it was already too late.

“I was running up to do my task in Labs. I didn’t see her come through the doors before the body was reported.”

“I wasn’t out of Decontamination yet,” you ground out. It was of no use, however. More than half of the people left voted you out, including Lily, Grease, Sean and Corpse, since he had an image to maintain as fake crewmember.

HeartEyes was ejected.

You decided, both out of your own interest and for content’s sake, to follow Corpse as a ghost. He seemed to be having the same trouble as you, suddenly being surrounded by a group of people. “That’s rough. He’s gonna have to kill five more people.”

That was when he bravely decided to take action. Sabotage the reactor, follow everyone there, jump into the lump of people trying to fix the problem and kill so no one would know who did it. He self-reported it in the blink of an eye.

The group was indeed confused, to say the least. Grease had died. “Wait, who was the last to come in?” Sean asked. “It was me,” Corpse admitted, “But I did the handprint scan because no one else was doing it. Weren’t you standing there doing that with Lily?” “Yeah, I had to wait because it wasn’t working.”

“What?!” Lily exclaimed, in only a way she could, “I was doing the scan! It was Sean, then!” The two suspects were starting a heavy discussion, whilst your eyes were trained on the red of Corpse’s name.

The group decided to vote out Lily, as she was the one to report the last murder.

“Is he just… Killing the people who voted for me?” you muttered. Shaking your head, you continued, “Nah, it has to be coincidence.”

But then a body was found, and Corpse said he suspected Sean again. Was he actually working down the list? “Is he avenging me? That’s so sweet, no one has ever done that for me before…” Just a video game, you had to remind yourself. It was just a video game you were playing with friends. And a man with a very nice voice who’d just murdered everyone who did you wrong. Just a game, yes.

Turns out, Corpse really knew how to put his voice to use, as Sean was ejected. He managed to kill Sykkuno and Dave after that, and the game was won by the imposters.

“AGAIN?!” Felix yelled, “How did you two get teamed up again?!” “That’s bullshit,” Sean laughed.

You smiled, as Corpse said, “Us Shinigami’s have to stick together.” It made you blush. “Thanks for avenging me, Corpse. That was very sweet of you.” He chuckled, “Any time. I don’t mind killing people when I have a good teammate.”

“Hey! I’m still here too, you know!” Sean yelled upset.

“It was really fun playing with you guys,” you said, stretching your arms. You’d already been streaming for three hours, it was time to go. Everyone said goodbye, but you didn’t hear Corpse. And you wished it hadn’t twisted your stomach in the way it did.

You wished your viewers a nice day, and promised to update them on Twitter when you’d be streaming next. You were done for the day.

Yet, as you’d closed all tabs and were about to close Discord, you got a call. It was private, and it was from Corpse.

“Hey, miss me already?” you jokingly said.

He chuckled quietly. He suddenly seemed a lot shyer now, being extracted from the group. “Nice game.”

“Yeah, you really know how to keep your emotions hidden. I was impressed, to say the least.”

“You were really good, too. I can appreciate a good imposter.”

You bit your lip. “Hm, I hope to see some more of that appreciation in the future. It was rather nice having someone avenge me.”

“I’d do it again any time. Hiding in the toilet was a good strategy, by the way.”

You snorted at that, “Not good enough, it seems. They voted me out.”

“Big mistake. Nobody kills my teammate.”

“Aww, did the Shinigami catch feelings for the human?”

He rumbled, “I thought you weren’t human?”

You didn’t comment on the fact that he’d failed to answer the original suggestion you’d made. “Touché.”

It was quiet for a moment, and you wondered if you’d crossed a line there and made the wrong assumptions about where the conversation was going. You quickly added, “Are you playing again this week?”

“Yeah, Sean said they’d stream again this Thursday.”

“I suppose I’ll see you there, then.”

He hummed. You sensed there was more to it, though. He hadn’t made any indication he wanted to end the call yet. But then he finally said, “I hope we get teamed up again. So you can get your own revenge.”

“I hope so too.”

***

Might do a follow up to this oneshot, if anyone asks for it. Will definitely create more for Corpse, he’s a lot of fun to write.

#Corpse Husband #Corpse #Corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #jacksepticeye #pewdiepie #youtube fanfiction

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amazingphilza · 4 years

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twitchcon :: cc!multiple x reader

fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some mcyt headcanons if you were to attend twitchcon w them

cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade

cw: kinda lengthy for the minors (i think), not as much for the hags LMAO /hj

tommyinnit

this man is so excited to be at his first twitchcon & being able to hang out with all his best friends makes it a hundred times better

when he isn’t at a panel or doing meet & greets, he’s dragging you everywhere to see the whole convention center (clingyinnit)

he is just so at awe despite this not being his first convention to attend

you’d be surprised he gets tired pretty quickly & stops over to the partner lounge

you both rest for a bit against a wall in a pretty packed hallway despite it being an exclusive area to twitch partners

every time a famous streamer walks by he will yell it out and record it then vlog your reaction, even if they’re surrounded with bodyguards & trying to get to another place quickly

he’d zoom in his camera to their face at a horrible angle and be like

“oh my god it is THE ninja. ninja famous fortnite player, HELLO.”

but he gets completely ignored

then the camera pans out to you, still really zoomed in that the capture is blurry

“ninjainnit?”

“EH?”

tommy is so confused, forgetting the bit ninja did on his twitter where he renamed himself ‘ninjainnit’ for a split second

okay tommy isn’t that athletic but he will chase you and the rest of your group down a hallway if he had to

he’d probably find a toy gun from the artist alley/seller booths and shoot you and wilbur with it

but if tommy stumbles across any of the dream team, it’s about to be minecraft manhunt but irl

and he will def play his stream music while walking or smth when he’s bored (or trying to jump dream & sapnap)

** DO DO DO DO MANHUNT MUSIC **

oh my god,, now thinking about it he’s probably the one to open like random doors of empty rooms and steal stuff while you film him

like he will take a random empty glass, a bunch of pens, a freebie t-shirt, everything he sees he takes with him and you’re just panic

“tommy we’re literally not supposed to be here, and i’m stuck here filming you. it’s surely a felony in action”

“well, it’s their fault for leaving the doors open! plus this is great content. who’s the dirty crime boy now, HM?”

you’d tell wilbur about this and he’d scold tommy and threaten him with the same pen tommy stole

tommy probably would also drag you some weird event happening outside twitchcon along with tubbo and ranboo

“pokimane is giving out free pizza to everyone if we go to this one restaurant down the street!”

“we are literally gonna get bombarded. have you forgot you’re like three of twitch’s top streamers? i’d rather pay for all of our meals than try getting free pizza from pokimane against all her other fans”

“DEAL! let’s go to five guys then!”

you unfortunately end up paying for all 3 of their meals and picking on their food instead of buying your own

even with all of them making way more money than you, they still happen to be cheapskates

OR tommy will end up getting a burrito from a taco truck, immediately making a mess of himself, then proceed to complain how messy the food is to eat despite knowing what he was getting himself into before even ordering

“shit my clothes are all ruined now!”

“well that’s your fault you got a burrito, as if it’s your first time having one”

“i mean the food is good, i’m not complaining about that but i don’t think it’s that good that it’s worth costing my red and white shirt, im just saying”

tubbo

same with tommy, he is so excited

i don’t know why but i imagine him overpacking his suitcase and you making fun of him for it

anyway tubbo has his irl backpack on and streaming EVERYTHING

probably spends a lot of time at a bunch of different booths, checking out all the pointless gadgets he could buy for his stream

you’re the one to stop him from doing so

“TUBBO IT’S LITERALLY OVER TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS, STOP. DONT GET IT.”

“WHY NOT?? IT WILL BE COOL FOR MY STREAM AND I WILL USE IT EVERYDAY”

“okay theoretically speaking, how the hell are you going to even bring it home? which—let me remind you—is across the country for you and not to mention the giant ocean separating america and the uk”

“free ship-pang!!!”

“i hate to break it to you tubbo but there is no way you can get free shipping on a FIVE FOOT PC. it’s nearly as tall as you! what are you even gonna do on it, hack the government???”

the arguments are all lighthearted but eventually you give in and let him splurge over a thousand dollars in different devices he claimed he “needed”

i could honestly see him visiting the beaches in san diego and going for a swim or even renting out a boat to use for a bit :D

also he’d bring benson along with him and taking a bunch of scenic photos with it in them

i have a feeling he’s the type to schedule a spontaneous meet & greet because he was bored & gets in trouble for causing a mob in a certain part of the convention

he’s like “oh god, i did not expect this many of the bois to show up AHAHAH oops”

tubbo would def pull a lilypichu and bring his melodica or ukulele and play themes while following random people/cosplayers

at the end of the day, you’d find his bag just stuffed with crap he either got for free or bought in the convention

“how did you get all that stuff? i was with you all day??? and it’s only the first day of the convention, hello?? it looks like you’ve been collecting as if twitchcon has went on for a week already!”

“HA i have my ways, do not underestimate my powers”

lani would probably tag along for the vacation honestly

like whenever someone comes up to her giving her gifts/asking for pics, you and tubbo would tease her about how famous she is

and i dunno but something about tubbo just gives me this amusement park energy and going to legoland and spending the whole day there since it’s near by and because he can

ranboo

he is like a beacon in a sea of people, that’s it .

i honestly just see him causing as much chaos as the other two

ranboo would probably like take someone’s camera whether if they’re streaming or if it’s for the vlog, hold it up high, and point the camera directly above someone’s face

it did not matter how tall you were and if you had platform shoes on, ranboo was a skyscraper next to you

“HAHAH this is how i see you from this height, this is funny”

then he shows you the vid of the recording of him getting like an aerial view of your face

like you see your nose and all your pores and just overall a bad angle to be captured in

“OH GOD RANBOO DELETE THAT, ITS HORRIFIC”

i dunno why but i feel like he’d jump scare every person that was cosplaying as his minecraft character from behind for some reason

“BOO!”

“ranboo i’m not even remotely dressed as your skin—”

“don’t worry i’m practicing it’s fineee”

“you’re like the height of 2 people combined, i think you will be fine as is. you even intimidated the security at the front”

i feel like if he had his own panel he’d like pull up some undertale song in the middle of it and scare all the people in the crowd

“lore but in real life”

probably would get some matching keepsake with you from artist alley/the booths!

i could imagine like a cute keychain or smth :D

i feel like he’s the type to like randomly volunteer as a participant for those mini events in a booth thinking it would be funny but regrets it the moment he’s on stage

after introductions the presenter is like “okay ranboo, you will be given a random meme prompt above your head you won’t be able to see until after and you will have to make a random face to compliment it!”

and you can just tell by his facial expression he’s just thinking

oh god what have i gotten myself into

what is this game? who came up with this idea?

you’d laugh at him the whole time, even after he’s off the stage and finished with that small fiasco

“that was horrible. never again.”

“AHAHAH IT LOOKED SO AWKWARD YOU DID GREAT”

“I CROSSED MY EYES AND PUFFED MY CHEEKS BECAUSE I COULDNT THINK OF ANY OTHER FACIAL EXPRESSION. THE PROMPT ENDING UP BEING ‘WHEN TWITTER CANCELS YOU FOR USING PLASTIC STRAWS.’ AND WHEN I SAW WHAT IT WAS—LITERALLY WHAT KIND OF GAME–”

“I GOT PICTURES AND EVERYTHING ITS PERFECT AHAHAHAH”

wilbur soot

honestly with wilbur it’s slightly more chill

he already experienced twitchcon before so he’s just glad to see his friends again after so long

insists that you explore the convention yourself rather than sticking with him the whole time but you do anyway!

wilbur would probably have like a mini concert and gets you front row seats with the rest of the group

but that doesn’t mean before it that you’re not helping him set up

“y/n please– my amp is so heavy, i can carry it”

“don’t worry! i’m strong” :D

and musically talented or not, he will probably bring you and the rest of his friends up to stage to just vibe and sing a bunch of random acoustic songs

it’s not like some big concert hall stage,, i imagine more like a casual thing w a slightly higher platform from the ground yk?

after spending a long day at the convention he’d also bring everyone across the city to la jolla or smth !

you’d all probably have dinner there and chill, watching the pretty sunset

“this place is really pretty but oh my god im gonna lose my breath hiking up this stupid hill, please slow down”

and wilbur is like ??? because he’s completely fine with his long legs and everything

“just walk faster”

“no, you walk slower”

AHAHAH and for context traversing through la jolla by walking around the town is a bit hard since it’s basically on a bunch of hills (walking up from the beach to a restaurant actually is actually sm work, trust me ive been there)

wilbur honestly doesn’t spend that much time in the actual convention center, he’s probably sightseeing a bit of san diego with you instead

but i could imagine him staying at the tabletop games area playing dnd or smth

“c’mon y/n, come join!”

“uhh i’m not sure, i’m not the best at roleplay and...”

“it’s fine don’t worry!”

he’d pull you in with him and end up enjoying yourself even if it was your first time

and if you’re of age, you’d be wilbur’s +1 at the twitch partner party and make sure mans doesn’t too drunk

if it’s not too late in the night, you two would chill at the beach after the party

it’s just a nice, calming moment after all the loud music mixed with hundreds of conversations at the party

also something about like taking polaroids pictures with wilbur just seems to go hand in hand for me

i’m not sure why but you will be taking lots of pics with wilbur for sure (not necessarily you both in the photo, but of sceneries as well while you’re together!)

philza

literally a dad on vacation with his children, it doesn’t matter how old you are

need sunscreen? surprisingly has it

want a snack? probably has a small granola bar somewhere in his bag

but same with wilbur, he’s more chill like this isn’t his first time at twitchcon

omg he’d def bring you to the artist alley and just buy a bunch of fanart and stuff tho

“oh wow look phil, someone made a giant poster of the dream smp and shit!”

“holy shit that’s so good what the fuck!”

and he’s like rushing to that artist’s stall to buy a poster or print

idk why but phil seems like the person to know where he’s going all over the convention center

he probably had a copy of the directory map but yk

you just have trouble reading it bc all the signs seem to be misleading to you

nothing really crazy screams out to me of what phil would do at twitchcon besides like go to a few events, spend a bunch of time w his friends, etc

HOWEVER i could see him wasting a lot of his time at the gaming area and testing new games that are currently on the works of being developed

like “woah y/n, this vr game is sick, you should try it out!”

ngl i feel like phil would plan a visit to disneyland for everyone, like he gets the tickets and everything but once you’re at the park it’s free reign, y’all go everywhere with not much of a plan

the minors would try to cheap out phil and pay less than the others even though everyone else fully paid phil back and everything LMAO

ok but if he’s feeling nice, phil will buy everyone cotton candy/pretzels :D

and if you’re not hungry, he’d at least get you a mickey balloon

HE WILL HAVE MATCHING MICKEY EARS WITH MUMZA YES .

ALSO STAYING FOR THE FIREWORKS THOUGH OMG

just in general, best idea phil had for taking everyone to disneyland :D

technoblade

surprisingly techno is really calm despite this being like one of his first conventions

but when he finally settles in and gets comfortable, he’s showing the same energy

if you’re playfully yelling, he will yell back

however there’s still those awkward moments that are unavoidable

idk why but something about him makes me think that if you feel tired and want to go back to your hotel room, he’d go with you just to make sure you get there safe

he probably also needs a break from being around everyone else for a moment too LMAO

i could also see him searching far and wide in the artist alley for fanart of himself AHAHAH

walking around with him in the convention consists of someone yelling “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” every 5 minutes but you don’t really mind

something about him makes me think he’ll be forced into playing minecraft twitch rivals along with the rest of sbi or smth

and he’s like “oh god, i’m going to be on stage? and people will see my face while i play minecraft?”

“i’m sure it will be fun!”

“i mean i like being competitive and feeding my ego, but i’m not that desperate.. well”

do i imagine techno getting easily tired of being surrounded by a bunch of people and just going back to his hotel room with phil and watching some anime with him? yes

and will you watch even if you have no idea what’s going on? also yes

i feel like after a while of you guys hanging out in techno’s room, the rest of the gang will just slowly join you guys

like eventually everyone is there; you, techno, phil, wilbur, niki, tommy, tubbo, ranboo, etc

and techno is like “wha– where did you guys come from?” because his room is basically packed

and niki could be like “oh we can go if you want!”

then techno just insists that she’s fine “but who let the child get in?” clearly implying tommy’s presence

“OI!!”

eventually techno gives in with the company and someone gets a bunch of board games to play from the front desk

lots of yelling and laughing for sure

when it becomes late at night, techno is like half conscious, you’re on your phone, wilbur is staring out the window & enjoying the night view, tommy is passed out on the couch from tiredness, tubbo & ranboo is still wide awake quietly talking, and phil & niki are helping clean up the giant mess

eventually everyone brings themselves to go back to their own room except tommy who won’t budge

you give techno a look and he immediately understands what you were thinking

he rushes to the bathroom to fill up two cups with ice cold water and handed one to you

“on three?”

“okay.. one”

“two”

“three!”

then both of you pour the water on the poor child’s face

he jolts awake and saying a string of curses

“what the fuck techno? y/n too?”

“get out” is the only think techno says that before tommy rushes out with his stuff and you leave right after

a/n: i honestly can’t wait until conventions open up again though,, phil and ranboo were talking about vidcon earlier and omg.

also i kinda want to take in tommy requests but i’m not sure??? it would be both cc! and c! x gn!reader for sure tho. i love writing him to bits but who knows, maybe i’ll only stick to my ideas,, or not. send in a tommy x reader request, might do it, might not, but he’s my fav cc if you can’t tell so! :D (i dunno if i will keep it strictly platonic, but unrequited crushes and stuff are fun to write hehe,,)

edit: let’s hope i fixed all the grammar mistakes LMAO we love writing late at night :) /s /hj

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ateez-amanda · 2 years

Text

WANTEEZ EP.1

[green bolded italic font in brackets] = editor's captions

a/n: based off this vid

Masterlist

taglist: @skzfairies, @3nhyp3nn [send an ask if you want to be on/off the taglist! :) ]

“What’s her concept?” Mingi asked his tall friend who was peeking by the gate to get a glimpse of their short female friend, bent down smelling the flowers and taking in the country scenery..

“I think she was going for a drama student.” Yunho answered, “I’m excited to see how she will react.” His tall friend nodded in agreement beside him.

“Ah! I heard this school will be doing a play soon. Lucky for me, I have the script.” She pulls out the script that was stashed in her bag (the only thing in her bag).

[When did she prepare that?]

“I should start practicing before my audition.” She clears her throat. “Oh Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?” She exaggerated her hand gesture and spoke in a higher pitch tone.

[Oh not bad]

She then whirled around and switched her voice into a low tone, “It is the East and Juliet is the sun. Why is thou so far? Why can’t thou be near me? Life is so tough.”

[Nevermind]

[It's not even the right lines]

She fakes her tears, whipping it away with her hand. “And scene!” She finished her acting, “I will definitely get the part of Romeo.”

[Her future acting career is looking rocky]

She turned around to continue walking when she realized a guy triple her size with big muscles in a similar uniform coming towards her. And more importantly, he had witnessed her do all that stuff.

Amanda concealed her face with the paper in her hands as she laughed at herself and this awkward situation.

[shielding her embarrassment]

She unveiled herself once she calmed down and plastering on a confident smile as she began to walk towards him, “Hello.”

[acts like nothing happened]

Before the giant muscle boy could reply a faint male voice came from the distance behind him “Hey! Run! You’re late!”

She glanced over him and spotted a group of teenage boys running towards her, screaming their lungs off. Amanda halted her movement, completely flustered.

[What’s Amanda’s plan? Run? Scream?]

As the rowdy bunch drew closer she pondered on what to do. At the last second she moves to the edge of the sidewalk as the group of boys pushed past her.

[Answer: Stay out of their way]

Her mouth gaped, confusion was written all over her face, before she disappointedly shakes her head and shrugs, “Boys.”

She observed the boys beginning to slowly line up and casually walk towards a gate. After closer inspection, she spotted the teacher by the entrance and decided to quietly blend in with the rowdy boys. She trails behind them as they entered the school and politely bowed to greet the teacher.

[Merging with the crowd]

As she walked through the entrance she saw Yunho and Mingi in plank position. She was almost in the clear after passing them until she heard a familiar voice yell, “Teacher, that girl there is late.”

Mingi.

[Plan Failed]

“Student. Come back here.” The teacher called her out. With her head down, she scurried over to the teacher, “You’re late.”

“I’m sorry.” She apologized as she deeply bowed, “I got lost. I'm a transfer student.”

“Ah, a transfer student. Shin Aera-sshi.” He read her name tag that was pinned on her shirt.

She responded with a small nod and a timid “yes.”

“What’s wrong with your hair?” He asks after noticing the dyed blonde streaks in her hair.

“I’m an actress. I have an audition soon.”

“I see. Well, join your friends.” He pointed down to the two tall boys still struggling in their plank positions.

“They aren’t my friends. I don’t know them.” She firmly stated.

“Become friends then.”

“I don’t want to be friends with troublemakers. It could lead me down a bad path.”

“Who are you calling troublemakers?” Yunho complained.

“We would be great friends.” Mingi added.

“Hush you two.” He silence the boys before returning his attention back to Amanda, “Smart kid. Okay, go inside.”

“Thank you!” She bowed. “Bye, boys!” She sent them a cheeky smile and wave before walking away with the two boys' complaints sending her off.

[Shin Aera attends school successfully]

Post Interview:

staff: weren’t you scared?

amanda: no

mingi: liar

yunho: be honest. you were scared, right?

amanda: i wasn’t😤 if anything i was embarrassed when the big guy came and witness me do all that😖

yungi: 😂

staff: why did you decide to move aside instead of run?

amanda: i figured it was just boys being boys 🤷🏽‍♀️ plus i’m too lazy to run😌

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enduracarrotchips · 3 years

Text

YouTuber AU

Hello welcome to Dating Scandal but with Twitter Involved (nightmare)

A little exposition here:

Link, Zelda, Sidon, Revali, and Riju are the most popular group of youtubers on the internet and have a huge fanbase that likes to theorize, draw fanart, and write fanfiction about them. Disclaimer, I don’t actually interact with real-person fandoms myself lol there’s just too much potential for drama and misunderstandings & they’re always bound to end in a dumpster fire but that is sort of what this au is about so.

Impa, Mipha, Daruk, and Urbosa are family friends that appear in a lot of their videos/streams.

(This is an art blog I swear)

enter vidcon 20XX

Link:

blows stuff up/sets stuff on fire with a side of cooking vids and gaming

most are filmed outside, he does those challenges where you try to cook stuff with limited ingredients/materials

has the largest fanbase of all of them, but not the most…intimidating.

does a lot of collab videos, mostly with Impa, Daruk, and Riju because they have similar interests/channels, but Zelda appears in his videos and is seen filming and the stans read too far into it

simps. i’m pointing at you.

Most popular videos are “shield surfing on rock!—how I broke my leg” “can Daruk eat Impa’s motorcycle?” and “how to inhale ranch dressing.”

Twitter handle is @ arsonistslullabye because he’s a hozier fan

45m subs

Zelda:

theories, analyses, conspiracies, and the occasional e x p e r i m e n t

she once got link to eat a frog for 50 bucks.

most people argue that she’s better than more popular YouTubers because she actually has quality content to give to the world and she has a lot of defensive supporters

She used to get a lot of hate before Urbosa spoke up about it and scared the bejeezus out of everyone

has an actual posting schedule

“Happy Sunday everyone, it’s Zelda Hyrule and today we will be talking about cryptozoology and why blupees exist, you cowards.”

Twitter handle is @ zeldaofhyrule and she is pan. just so you know. One of those calm extroverts that mystify me to this day.

18m subs

Sidon:

fashion/life hacks. Like gourmet troom troom but if they were real people.

Has the 2nd largest fanbase

most of them are girls

Sidon has a boyfriend though, which he told everyone at VidCon a few years ago

cue the drama and shipping and the entire fandom trying to figure out who the boyfriend is. A well known reddit thread emerged that presented the common guesses being Link, Sidon, and Zelda.

“But it can’t be Zelda, Sidon’s gay.”

“I’m not in the fandom but I thought Zelda was a boy??”

“Did you just say Sidon? Is that a typo? Are you saying that Sidon’s dating himself?”

Sidon x Sidon became a fandom joke.

Don’t look at me I’m just setting up all the worldbuilding. every fandom has their weird dark sides and Sidon x Sidon is the Linkcest of the Sidon YT fandom.

Mystery BF is actually Bazz, a pretty inconspicuous guy who appeared in a few of his videos. This was confirmed a year ago, but everyone still ships him with other YouTubers because they’re convinced he was lying to throw them off his scent. He really can’t catch a break and this is why you should not ship real people.

Twitter handle is @ officialprincesidon

says “beguiling” a lot

21m subs ᕙ( ͡❛ ▿ ͡❛)ᕗ

Mipha:

Sidon’s sister, hasn’t posted a single video but just has the channel for show because she appears in so many of Sidon’s videos as a model for his makeup tutorials and whatnot

has 328k for that. Everyone loves her, she’s great. @ mimipha

Revali:

Link’s sworn rival

Link thinks they’re friends

He kept popping up in link’s Twitter threads and making snarky comments until zelda called him out for not even following link (so why was he stalking his acc) which kept the Twitter drama to a minimum

Revali was the catalyst of a few popular memes and that’s where most of his subs come from.

drags link into a few challenges that always get a ton of views because of how competitive they get

“ITS JUST ASININE” is a running joke that everyone tries to get him to say. His @ is itsjustasinine as well

Urbosa is the only person who can win an argument with him

5m subs and growing rapidly. newer to youtube than everyone else.

Impa:

Doesn’t have a channel she’s just a mutual friend of Mipha, Zelda, and Link

Rides a motorcycle, so she is used in a few of Link’s videos.

@ ihaveamotorcycle because she thinks having a motorcycle is a personality trait. the most unruly on Twitter when it comes to replying to fan’s stuff, leaking upcoming videos and generally causing chaos.

Mipha’s girlfriend. That’s how she met Zelda and Link.

Urbosa:

Is actually a model, but she has a ton of YouTuber friends because she’s known Zelda since birth.

when she entered the youtube community she didn’t realize she would be adopting like 15 children

5m subs. her videos are professional & related to her modelling career. @ urbosasfury

I feel like she would do unboxing vids. I’m not sure what she’s unboxing.

Daruk

Just a friend of Link’s, fun guy. yells a lot. once ate a rock and had no reaction.

people are scared of him for that reason

Riju:

yoga & gymnastics & “ha look at how flexible I am its eAsY” videos

you know the type

she also does reactions and is sponsored by save the sand seals charities which she is very enthusiastic about. She’s also Urbosa’s niece and the only minor in the gang (15). I like to think that the champions YT community is actually not creepy so everyone respects her a ton

doesn’t post frequently, she mostly appears in Link’s videos to jump out of airplanes or whatever. And sometimes Zelda’s if she’s interested in the topic. 500k subs, but she’s always really popular when she appears in Link’s videos.

VidCon:

In the months leading up to VidCon, some fans on the internet made a few discoveries: first of all, that the inside of Link’s house is painted green. This is a big deal because all of his videos are filmed outside either in his backyard or on trips that he and the brosquad go on to do…whatever bros do. explosions. idk. The point is he had some announcement about VidCon and filmed it inside. Only the wall and a potted plant were shown.

However, the colour was similar to the the shade of Zelda’s living room. Fans dug through years and years of old videos and found a clip of Zelda walking through a hallway, where there was an open door and a glimpse of a houseplant.

There were 2 types of responses to the theory:

“They could just be roommates guys calm down”

“and they were ROOMMATES?”

others pointed out that Link could just not have a house and had to crash in Zelda’s

Some guy on reddit claimed he had a botany degree and declared that the houseplants in the clips were not of the same genus. Normal people pointed out that the plant would have grown 4 years between the clips and would look considerably different.

#Zelink trended on twitter for a while and people posted other old clips from both of their channels and the frog video blew up again

Impa retweeted a post tagged as #zelink with “rofl” and later publicly apologized for causing confusion.

Fans noticed that in the “can a motorcycle drive over my arm” (it was clickbait he’s fine) episode 2 years ago, Link was eating out of a paper lunch bag with his name written on it in handwriting that a few people claimed to look like Zelda’s, leading people to believe that she had packed him a lunch.

However, this theory was shot down with the counterargument that Zelda can’t cook. although. i mean how much skill do you need to make a sandwich.

No one knows what tumblr is doing at this time

Zelda wore a scarf in her “Save the Sand Seals” video that matched identically to the scarf Link wore when he travelled to Hebra to film a shield surfing video, but it’s been debated wether it’s actually the same scarf or not.

Neither Zelda nor Link has spoken up about the theories, and besides Impa’s one slip on twitter, neither has any of their friends. Zelda received a lot of backlash for the assumption that she was dating Link because he has a lot of delusional fans that didn’t want her to “steal their man” or whatever the hell that type of fan would get mad about

Oh yea and bolson & karson run a zelink fanpage on twitter sorry I forgot about that

after that whole mess, everyone was even more anticipant of VidCon in the hopes that some of their questions would be answered.

The whole batch went to VidCon this year: Link, Impa, Daruk, and Riju are a gang while Sidon and Mipha go together and Zelda & Revali each go separately. Urbosa is there for supervision moral support

Zelda has always been much better at dodging questions that she doesn’t want to answer than anyone else, so her Q&A went without a hitch. When asked to confirm the rumours she said “which one?” and then moved on to the next question (without actually confirming any rumours).

Link is generally a more awkward person but eventually said that he had filmed the video in Zelda’s house because it was nicer and didn’t realize it would cause such an uproar. Fans were disappointed, but Bolson claimed he saw Link and Zelda exiting the hotel elevator on the same floor after Link’s Q&A session. No one believed him.

Fans went back to theorizing over who Link, Zelda, and Sidon were all dating, because apparently they can’t just be dating unknown people and have to be with other YouTubers

Sidon and Bazz got engaged about a week after VidCon, making at least 4 preteen girls cry

actually try 4 million

Sidon x Sidon made a brief comeback but Sidon spoke up about his fandom for the first time ever on twitter and told everyone that no, he was not dating himself. eventually, everyone settled down and accepted that none of them were in a relationship save for a few loud fans.

Link and Zelda still got the occasional “when will you tell us who you’re dating?” comment but most of them were joking and the people who still hardcore shipped them were generally frowned upon. Zelda’s popularity went up after VidCon and she regained the 200k subscribers she’d lost after the first theory dropped.

Two months after VidCon, Link posted a video titled “Zelda and I’s House Tour!” and gave around 45 million people a heart attack

as revealed in the video, they had actually been dating since they were 16 and everyone’s just a fool.

the potted plant is named Hestu.

#listen. listen. youtuber au #idc if u came here to see genderless art this is what I am posting today #genderless art in the future though #anyways I'm so sorry #sidon x sidon trends for a few days and I feel bad for the ppl who have to handwrite the trending descriptions on twitter #like what would it be #reddit user @ steponmeurbosa makes a spelling error and sparks shipping between beauty guru sidon and himself #if someone tries to start discourse about YouTube fandoms on my post I am blocking you #headcanons #opinions #youtuber au #botw #zelink #breath of the wild #legend of zelda #thank god I got this out of my notes app

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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years

Text

Sun 30 May ‘21

Louis’ old friend Nizam got married! Well good for him or whatever but mostly GOOD FOR US, cause we get the best wedding gift of all- seeing LOUIS IN FORMAL WEAR! I mean just seeing Louis at all is nice, but long hair and a suit?? Hot damn, it’s like 2014 but oh so much better cause it’s NOW! The wedding is in Durham, and there were a few pictures, including Louis taking part in the tradition of congratulating the couple by feeding them a bite of sweets.

Liam posted that he’s been ill (oh no!) and missing a lot but nonetheless-- Round Up with Liam video today!! Titled ‘My NFT, Haircuts and Four Years of Strip That Down’ the video features sure enough, a sniffling and croaky voiced Liam. He shows his favorite fanarts that he’s selected-- I really like when he talks about how he himself draws and knows how long it takes and says how inspiring he finds the fanartists- and says he planned to print out and sign and send the faves to the artists, but couldn’t because he didn’t want to send people his germs so he will later. All the illness talk is worrisome but- good news, he does eventually assure us that it is not COVID! Anyway all the drawings he’s chosen are of him and they are fucking incredible honestly (Liam, “is it weird to call a drawing of yourself beautiful? We’re about to find out!”) He talks again about his NFT but despite the vid title still doesn’t actually SPILL and just says, more on that soon. He sort of says what NFTs are (though not in any way that will change the hearts and minds of us naysayers) and shares clips of a couple he owns and says his will be “based around lockdown with a little bit of fame twisted in there as well”, about a character he made up and drew being “locked in a cage... he can fly but he can’t fly because he’s stuck which I think a lot of us can relate to.” And also on the subject of things we don’t really hear about and aren’t getting yet, he also mentions recording in Sweden a little while back and how that song will be coming out… sometime. He doesn’t know when. The Strip That Down section, about what it was like to release his first solo single, has him playing a video of a performance from release time- “I was nervous as hell” he says, “look at the size of that place.” and “the sound on that stage is so different from what you guys hear it scares the hell out of you.” He also talks a lot about hanging out with Bear and says they’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, and says he’s just moved into a different house, AGAIN, and tags Niall in his posts of him practicing his golf putting, a good sick day indoor activity.

And THEN- Liam announced that he’d started a DISCORD for fans to hang out with him! Any guesses as to how that’s going?? UTTER CHAOS OBVIOUSLY! “Wow! You guys broke discord... there’s so many of you,” Liam commented helplessly. The suggestions channel is overwhelmed with people suggesting some kind of rules or moderation, a rules channel was added soon after launch but remains empty and locked; for now, anarchic disorder (discord, if you will) reigns, it’s like the comments section of a livestream that just… never ends…. ENJOY I guess, wow.

Meanwhile, Niall and Anne Marie are psyched Our Song is doing well; “We love it!! Thank you guys. Let’s keep it going,” said Niall.

#Louis tomlinson #liam payne #niall horan #I’m glad Liam doesn’t have COVID jeez #Ella watching the dogs for Louis and Eleanor because they actually BOTH went somewhere for the first time in like a year and a half lol #(ella is eleanor's friend who also has dogs)#yes E is with Louis like… of course? So what? Anyway she’s probably friends with Nizam as well lucky her lol fuck that guy he sucks #and Oli is there as well of course they are both part of the old doncaster crew #listen I’m the first to sympathize with being bad at faces I literally can’t tell Harry’s beards or Louis’ managers apart in pics #and did not recognize Oli today even I mean.. that's bad #but that one guy with Louis looks NOTHING like either hot Luke or Zayn people that is just racism #30 may 21 #bear payne

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binniesthighs · 4 years

Text

hello stranger | reader x changbin |

this drabble was inspired by binnie’s outfit from the hello stranger vid and oh also! we are finally getting changbin’s thighs on this acct dedicated to them teehee

Part 1

Pairing: self insert, female reader x seo changbin, past reader x han jisung

Genre: smut n’ a lil fluff

Tags: (for this part) softdom!changbin, sub!reader, undergroundrapper!changbin, chan, felix and jisung side characters, hook-up, scraping knees & mentions of blood, thigh riding, oral (m receiving), gagging, protected sex, praise kink, slight breeding kink, orgasm denial and edging (f receiving), begging, fingering (f receiving), squirting, use of handcuffs, cockwarming at the end

Word count: 4.9k

Chapters

PART 1 | PART 2

gif creds to @iconicspearb ♡

2am, and you felt euphoric. Like a fucking cloud. Even though it was typical, there really were no other words that could describe it. Music was blasting on several speaks mounted to the walls and the ceiling. The bass was booming at such a low frequency you felt it reverberating in your chest--or maybe that was your heart.

You had been shoved up against sweaty bodies for nearly four hours now, and your friends Chan and Felix hadn’t told you if they planned on leaving at any time soon. Not like you minded. Nothing felt better than a feeling like this. In a place like this, you could forget the rest of the world for a little bit; who you were and what you needed to do. The buzz in the room was infectious. Everyone in the room threw their bodies together, clashing in one big, beautiful mess.

After four hours, you still wouldn’t get tired of it. Next to you, Chan and Felix were bouncing up and down with you, thrashing their heads to the rapid fire syllables spat by the rappers. Your ears would ring during every tiny moment of silence.

“How much longer do you wanna stay for?!” Your scratched voice called to your friends.

“SpearB hasn’t come on yet!! We have to see him!”

“SpearB?!”

The widest grin attacked Chan’s face, flashing his dimples. “Yeah! I heard that he’s insane!”

Felix threw his arm over your shoulder to dance with him and the two of you fell into a rhythm, shouting over the lyrics of the rapper on stage: you had seen him dozens of times, Chan and him were even on a first name basis.

You new his name too, but that was because you had plenty experience screaming it out for him...both at concerts and in private. Jisung was his name. He was the one that turned you on to fuck buddies. God, he was way too cocky for you to ever to consider anything else.

He dished out out of his signature winks while he buried his teeth into his lip.

You wondered if you would be going home with him again tonight. Not like you minded. The way that he would suck on your clit was unreal.

“--THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT!” Jisung bellowed into the mic, leaping off some structure and launching himself into the air.

You and your two friends cheered for him and clapped for him until your hands turned red. He was cocky...but he was sure as hell talented.

“SpearB is coming next!!!” Felix shook your shoulders in his excitement.

A couple stage hands changed around the stage a little bit by moving around a couple speakers, adding a smoke machine, setting out a new computer at the little table in center stage.

“He-he’s gonna LIVE MIX ON THE STAGE” Chan’s eyes widened.

“He’s gonna what!?” There was almost nothing left of your voice.

“JUST WAIT AND SEE.”

The lights dimmed and Felix and Chan clung to your arms, nearly squeezing the life out of them.

If he was this of a big deal to them, he must be something special.

He stepped out a black shadow, swirls of smoke at his feet. He hadn’t even said anything yet, but his aura was massive. The lights rose slightly so you could see his face better: smoky brown eyes, light brown hair that was nearly silver. He wore a thick silver chain around his neck, contrasting with the rest of his darkly colored clothes. Most of all, your eyes were drawn to his thighs, perfectly shaped and curved under his pants, toned and thick. On his fingers he wore bands of sliver rings.

As soon as his fingers touched the keyboard, Chan and Felix lost their minds clawing at your arms. You had never seen the two of them so giddy.

He didn’t even look at the audience at first, like they weren’t even there. With the tap of his fingers he started making a beat; it was piercing and catchy with snares and 808′s vibrating the room. He had a small keyboard next to him that he used, the silver glimmer from his rings reflected off the stage lights--they were nearly blinding.

The crowd started moving to his beat which he sped up gradually creating a type of tension that you could only really describe like the mere seconds before a climax.

He rose the mic to his mouth after licking his lips tantalizingly slow. He finally let himself look at the crowd. With the mic to his mouth, his eyes met yours, striking you with electricity. Even though his backing music was ridiculously fast, he sauntered to the front of the stage, not breaking with your gaze. This time you definitely knew it was your heart that was throbbing in your chest—not the music.

Chan and Felix were clawing onto you even harder, but you couldn’t feel a thing.

He was fucking mesmerizing.

He hadn’t even said a word.

He crouched down to be eye level with you with his gaze still deathly fierce. Every single inch of him oozed with confidence and unbridled mystery.

Almost like he was teasing you, he shot up and away, turning into his mic, his gruff voice growling over the start of his lyrics.

He never looked at you again for the rest of the performance. You found yourself aching for his eyes on your body again, but he never gave it to you.

No one had ever made you as soaked as he made you.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“Aren’t you glad that we stayed, Y/n?” Chan nudged you hard once the three of you had left the club.

The chill of the winter stung at the back of your sweaty neck wonderfully. It felt amazing compared to how stuffy it had been in there for the past several hours.

“--how he looked at you?? Y/n, that was...” Felix laughed out a little in disbelief.

You dig your hands further into your coat pockets. Just above you, tiny flakes of snow started to fall. You huffed out, your breath was wispy floating in the air. You were still getting over it all. How could he have looked at you like that and then pretended that you didn’t even exist? What kind of sick shit was that?

Chan ran in front of you to skid on a patch of ice with child-like giggles.

“You okay?” Felix asked, linking his arm through yours. He was always the best at reading you.

“--yeah, it was just strange. There was something about him that...”

“--I mean, he’s really hot. I’ll give him that.”

You chuckled a little. “You think so too?”

“I’d be blind if I didn’t think so.”

“I don’t even know him...but why did he look at me like that...like he did?”

“I dunno.” Felix shrugged. “We should catch up with Chan before he actually slips.”

“Heh, you’re probably right.”

“You just gonna head back home? It’s really late.”

“Yeah, I’m super tired after all of that.”

“Want one of us to walk you home?”

You pondered for a minute, eyes cast up a little to the sky. The night had turned perfectly quiet during the early hours of the morning. Maybe a walk by yourself could do you some good.

“I’m fine. Thanks for offering though.”

“Text us when you get back?” Your friend gave your arm a little squeeze with a little worry dancing across his freckled cheeks.

“Of course.”

“Okay...don’t forget!”

“I won’t!” You waved your friends away just as you reached the intersection separating your path from theirs.

You sucked in a deep inhale, letting the cold air burn a little in your lungs. The sensation snapped you out of your yawn perfectly. It was just a few more blocks away and you knew the way well. Two rights, one left, two straight ahead.

A blur started to cover your eyes and one more yawn escaped your lips.

Or was it one right and two lefts?

The street lights blurred into green and white lines.

I should be there shouldn’t I?

Behind you the horn honked, loud and shrill.

You thought to yourself, what is someone doing honking so loud at night?

“Watch out!!” A hand grabbed at your arm and jerked you back hard.

You were definitely awake when your body crashed to the cement sidewalk knees first. A burning pain seethed at the skin of your knees.

“Fuck! Sorry, I didn’t mean to pull that hard--”

At first you saw your scraped knees, then you saw him...finally looking at you again.

“What the hell are you doing walking into the middle of the street, didn’t you see the light?”

“Are you fucking stalking me?” Was the first thing your brilliant brain could think to ask.

He scoffed. “You’re welcome for saving your life? You were stumbling around... are you okay? Did you take something?”

Before you knew it you were surrounded by him and his friends: inspecting you for any signs.

“No, I am not on anything.” You hissed. “I just...I think that I’m tired an--wait...where are we?”

“That tired huh?” He helped you to your feet, making you wince. “Shit, you’re bleeding.” His hand lingered on yours.

“Oh. Yeah, it’s fine. Honestly it’s my own fault.” Your tone dropped. “I should have had one of them walk me home.”

“--You need someone to walk you home?”

“No, I got it, thanks. I’m just over that way.” You took two shaky steps forward, your knees immediately buckling in pain.

“No-listen, my place is over there, I can help you get cleaned up--you’re not gonna find any taxis back to your place at this time of night.”

“Are you luring me right now?”

“What?! No!”

You chuckled a little. It was a bit funny how different he was off stage compared to on. You almost forgot how embarrassingly soaked he had made you before.

“Trust me.” He nodded to his friends and they split, leaving the two of you alone under the flurrying snow. “You coming?”

You tentatively took his hand. Funny. This was kind of how it started with Jisung too. All of them were the fucking same. You pitied yourself for thinking that he would be any different.

╚ ——————————————— ╝

Changbin, as he introduced himself, lived in a modest apartment with three roommates in a place with creaky floorboards and walls of painted over brick. He swore up and down that there was heating in there, but it didn’t feel like it. He kept very few things in his room save for some things that looked like synthesizers and a TV. The two of you had to tip-toe to his room. He warned you that nothing could be kept secret in that apartment.

“Here, you should clean it first to get anything out of it. Then put this on it, you don’t wanna get infected or anything.”

“oh. Thank you--” You reached out, but instead he knelt at the edge of the bed at your knees. He tore the whole in your tights even wider to start dabbing at your scratches.

“Hey! What the--”

“--They’re already torn. What’s the use in them now?”

He got to work, being as careful as he could tending to you. His hands gently held your leg still. You watched as he did everything. Being this close again, you remembered. Those little silvery and wavy trellises of his hair...he really was gorgeous.

Changbin’s hand smoothed down your calf once he was done, tickling you slightly.

“All done. Better?”

“Yeah...thank you.” You shied away. After seeing this other side of him you didn’t quite know what to think.

“I’d love for you to stay but, seeing as you thought that I was luring you before--”

“--Have I met you before?”

“Me?” Changbin unclipped his earrings. “I don’t think so. But...that’s interesting. I was thinking the same thing earlier. There’s something about you that I recognize.”

“--That’s why you looked at me like that?”

“I looked at you like that, because I thought that you looked sexy.”

You felt a heat rise in your cheeks. There was something especially hard to ignore about how gentle he had been with you before and how his eyes seemed to devour you now recalling the memory. It was...different. Maybe he wasn’t like all the rest of them.

“I guess you must not think I still am if you’re trying to send me home.” You edged him on. It was undeniable how good it felt to have him give you his undivided attention.

“I’m sending you home because it’s the respectful thing to do.”

“That’s honorable.”

“You rather me do something else?”

“You want me to continue being respectful?”

“Do you want to be?”

Changbin paced the length of his room, cradling his neck up. “Stop playing fucking games and tell me what it is you want.”

You thought that him performing was enough to send you over. Seeing him mad was something entirely different. You knew exactly what you wanted; what your body wanted.

You narrowed your eyes. “Obviously. I want you.”

You saw it in his eyes first. It was like the first spark of a flame right before he was set ablaze. All you had to do was say it.

He tore his jacket off and launched himself on top of you, crashing his lips needily into yours. His mouth was addictive, perfectly soft, but running over yours roughly over and over. He kissed you, starving, breathing exhales into your mouth. He wasted no time meeting his tongue with yours, twisting around it slowly, forcing you to slow your pace. He gave you everything at once, then slowly started taking it away again. Changbin sucked on your bottom lip slightly, then pulled. He returned, kissing you again agonizingly slow. He let his hands cascade down your sides, sliding them up your shirt. Further down, he wedged his thigh between your legs, pressing in and issuing a little whimper from you.

“I like to take things slowly...I hope you don’t mind.” He kissed down your jaw to your neck, taking care of the skin he craved here. He pressed harder with his leg.

You cried out before grinding your hips into his thigh hopelessly seeking some kind of pleasure. When you did so, the friction of your clit was just enough.

“So fucking needy.” His warm breath spilled into your ear. “You just can’t wait to have me, can you? Can’t wait to have me filling you up, fucking you deep inside, stretching you out...just like you want to?” He painted more kisses into your neck. “You’re not getting it yet. Not until I say so.”

“Please...” You felt pathetic grinding on him so hard, but you couldn’t stop, not when it felt so good.

“Awww.” He tutted. “Feels good doesn’t it?”

“Mmmm...” You dug your fingers into his arms to pull yourself even closer to him.

He scoffed out a laugh and moved himself off of you. “Quit doing my job for me.” He smirked, then reached down to your legs where he coursed his hands up your inner thighs right where you were most delicate. His fingers reached your throbbing and drenched pussy properly wet through your panties from grinding on him. He ghosted over your clit, letting his fingers fall up and down just slightly, never giving you the satisfaction. Your whole body jerked just for him. Wordlessly, he tore a hole again with one continuous rip.

“fuck. You’re so wet for me.” He wondered at your body. There he was, looking at you as he had done before. His thumb permitted you a couple soft circles to your clit as you helplessly grinded into his hand. His hands looked beautiful teasing your pussy with his silver rings.

“I’ve got something special I wanna use on you.” Changbin rubbed down harder with one hand and drew a pair of shiny metal handcuffs from his beside with the other. “Pretty right?” He twisted them around.

Seeing them instantly made your whole core cry out in desire for him even more.

“Can I?”

You nodded quickly and even provided for him your wrists. As expected they bit with a cold, but how they made you feel...so helpless and usable was euphoric. Changbin rose your arms above your head, then removed the remains of your tights, skirt and underwear. By contrast, he was still completely clothed, but you could see his dick, hard and swelling with girth, pressing up against his pants.

His hands explored all over your legs while you squirmed. The touch of his skin on yours was hypnotic. You had already felt his fingers, so you figured he wouldn’t let you feel them again soon. He drew little scribbles into your skin, sometimes pressing hard, grabbing at you in greedy handfuls.

“You’re so gorgeous Y/n, so pretty for me, so pretty tied up and squirming. You’re such a good girl...I’m gonna make you cum harder than you can even imagine.”

Your little whimpers came out along with a string of explicatives while he teased at you relentlessly, still not going to touch your clit again. Your hands trashed together a little in the cuffs, the cold digging into you. You couldn’t do anything about it. Your hips writhed when his fingers traced up to your belly, then up to your nipples to pinch at them until they were painfully hard. Your whole body craved him so badly everywhere.

“fuck--please stop, please--” you panted out, “touch me.”

Back down again went his hands, and you watched as he devilishly smiled at his work. “I said, not until I say so.” Suddenly his fingers slid right into your pussy with ease. He had tricked you. You nearly screamed at the feeling if he had not slapped his hand over your mouth. “be fucking quiet.”

Changbin pumped in and out at his favored slow pace, curling his fingers up perfectly to rub at your g-spot. Your hands were still useless, so you bit down hard on your lip to keep your moans from escaping.

“You like it this way don’t you? You’re taking my fingers so good, beautiful. Keep being a good girl and I’ll let you cum okay?”

“Mmm-yes, please.” Your words were breathy.

He moved on to fucking you with his fingers relentlessly. He would switch between pumping you full to then pulling out and robbing you of all feeling. As soon as he could sense your walls tightening, he would pull out, eyes greedily watching as you would fall apart from his edging.

Your body betrayed you while you were being cruelly teased and your mind went blank as he brought you back and fourth each time. A tension deep down inside you built every time he would curl his fingers--any moment you knew that you could explode if he could only just let you. You even considered letting your hands fall to rub your needy clit yourself, but you had more than enough of punishing.

“You’re doing so well.” Changbin soothed you at last. “Do you wanna cum for me?”

“Yes.” You sighed out with utter exhaustion.

“Alright. You deserve it.” He kissed into the skin right under your bellybutton where your shirt had tucked up a little.

Finally he rammed his thumb against your clit to give it simulation as he continued fucking into you with his fingers, giving careful attention to your sensitive bud as he wiggled his fingers with speed. The metal on his fingers grazed you too inside, and you felt yourself tightening around him once again. That same tension gathered low and it was so intense and unfamiliar that it scared you. Your back arched as you felt it getting closer..closer...

You cried out, “Changbin, I--”

“Just let it all go, babygirl.” He spread out your legs farther.

You came with such ferocity that you felt lightheaded: you squirted hard with your release. It took every ounce of your will not to make a sound, only letting shallow gasps escape. Changbin removed his fingers as you came, rubbing your clit as you did, giving it a couple slaps where it was swollen. Tears fell down the sides of your face as your whole body shook with each release and your hips buckled together.

Changbin laughed out in awe at the shaking mess in front of him. You felt your whole body flush with heat, and you couldn’t bear to look at him--you had never done anything like that before in your whole life. In fact you didn’t really know what it was. You hid your flustered face under your arms.

“Fuck, that was so fucking hot.” You heard him chuckle. “Why are you hiding? Hey, come back--”

He jingled with the keys and let your wrists free, which were also throbbing with a bit of pain. He kissed both of them one after the other.

“Are you okay?”

You let yourself look at him and you noticed that his shirt was splattered wet from droplets of your liquids.

“Fuck--I’m sorry, I don’t know what that was--”

He laughed softly then crawled over you again. His hands ran up and down your body still in aftershocks. “You don’t have to apologize.” He pressed his lips into yours. “I’m guessing that was your first time squirting, huh?”

“I-I think so.”

“Did it feel good?”

“It felt...so good.”

“I fulfilled my promise then didn’t I?” He caressed the sides of your face to give you even more careful kisses; they weren’t needy anymore, but this time more caring and passionate. Hell, he didn’t even know you but he kissed you like he loved you.

“You want me to do you now?”

“Not yet, you’re still coming down, I don’t wanna ruin this for you.”

“ ‘Kay.” This time you were the one to lean in to keep kissing him. His lips curled into a smile against yours.

Changbin unbuttoned your cropped shirt, then took off his all of his clothes after. He laid down next to you, both of you completely bare and the warmth of his mouth found yours once again. Maybe it was just because you had just cum because of him, but the sense of closeness that you felt to him made you feel impossibly safe. You could have kissed him like this forever.

“You’re perfect.” He whispered onto your lips between kisses.

You slung one of your legs over his hips and his member twitched on your stomach. You had come down enough.

“My turn now?”

“I wouldn’t object to that.” He grinned.

The bed sheets crinkled a little as you descended farther down the bed and he sat his back against the wall. You got your first proper chance to look at his full length: veiny and perfectly thick, dripping just a little with pre-cum. You could only imagine what it would feel like inside you. Changbin’s eyes followed as you wrapped your hand around him and teased the tip with your pointer finger. You licked fat strokes up and down the sides, feeling him hardening even more. The saliva gathered in your mouth seeing the head grow redder and redder. His chest shook with a broken sigh. You gave him one teasing squeeze that made him wince beautifully.

“Keep going.” He commanded, raking his fingers through your hair and gripping there.

“I don't need you to tell me that.” You hushed and flicked the tip of your tongue over his tip.

After he got to do all of his teasing, how come you didn’t get to do some too?

“Don’t make me make you.” He growled.

“Ooo scary.”

Your hand began to pump him and he relaxed, exhaling out with the trailing of his voice hiding his soft moans. Your free hand dug into the skin of his thigh, letting the sharp of your nails pepper little pink crescents. They were so perfect, you rewarded them with kisses and little bites while your hand kept pumping. Changbin’s fingers dug into your scalp needily.

He hissed out, “Give me your mouth.”

A surge of confidence swelled within you knowing he was completely in your control. “You aren’t even going to say please?”

“I don’t say please.”

“Then maybe I won’t suck you off then?”

A flash of betrayal ran across his smoky eyes. “What?!”

“Fine. I won’t make you say it.” You smirked and took him in generously, deeply, pushing down your tongue and taking him down your throat. You were just a little too ambitious: his length made you gag, but you swallowed down the reflex. Changbin’s head fell back and hit the wall.

“fuck yes.” The words escaped his tongue.

You grabbed at him and squeezed, hard, twisting him and flicking your wrist with each turn. He was delightfully hard in your mouth, and with each step closer he gasped out faster and faster. Your head bopped in your rhythm, still taking him in deeper with each move, chasing gags away just as fast as you got a new one. You would stop for a few seconds to let him quiver in your hand and he would groan out once your warmth disappeared.

“Not-not yet,” He gasped out and squirmed, then pushed you lightly off of him. He scrambled over to the beside again, throwing the drawer open and finding a condom which he tore open with his teeth, then impatiently rolled it over his pink length. He threw his body off the bed, grabbing at your hips to align you with the edge of the bed and situating himself between your legs. He was just as impatient when he took some lube into his hand to rub over his dick curled against his stomach. Changbin coaxed his dick into your opening, leaning down over your body with forearms resting on both sides of your head. Once the two of you were connected, you both let out sighs with the feeling consuming you. He filled you up so wholly, so deeply, it even hurt just a little bit, kind of like the first time.

“Baby you’re so tight.” He thrust in slow at first, exactly how he liked it. It felt fucking amazing when he stretched you out grinding his hips even in little to let your clit feel the sensation as well. He attached his lips with yours to lend them his warmth. Your arms latched around his neck and your legs around his waist as you pulled him in even closer. The heat from his sweating chest emanated on you. He started to pick up his pace, giving your g-spot attention again as he angled himself above you.

The two of you sucked in each other’s air as it lasted between your lips for only a few seconds. You moaned directly into his mouth hoping that it was enough to muffle the sound and he returned back with his own arousal spilling all over you and sticking on your tongue.

Changbin pulled away to shove your legs together and press against his torso, making you even tighter. He shut his eyes upon feeling it, focusing on nothing else but his thrusts. His forehead gathered with little beads of sweat and one fell down his brow.

His name flew off of your mouth naturally as he fucked into you, and your second orgasm pooled. His toned arms flexed from where he grabbed onto the bed and he choked out little airy gasps before announcing that he was about to cum.

“Cum inside me baby, fill me up...I’m all yours.”

Upon hearing your words, he set himself loose, pounding into you with astonishing speed doubling over you as he came, leaving himself inside to throb against your walls. There was something so primal inside of you that craved to feel his cum inside of you knowing that he wanted you, that he desired you and that you could unscrew him until he was vulnerable like this, all for you.

“Can we...stay like this for a little while?”

He chuckled a bit, and swept a few strands of your hair off of your face.

“You like how it feels like this then?”

“...yes.”

“Okay beautiful. Anything that you like, can I come back up first? Kinda hard to do it like this.”

You nodded and let himself get situated sitting on the bed, resting himself against the wall once more. Your bodies shivered as you sat back down on his softening dick, but it was the feeling of being connected to him that you craved. He traced his fingers up and down your back, his eyes full of admiration.

“You’re perfect.” He echoed.

“You hardly even know me.” Your fingers twirled his curly hair.

“You’re perfect.”

“Thank you...and...thank you for making me feel so good.”

“My pleasure,” He laughed out the words, “And yours too I guess.”

“Very funny.”

There he was, looking at you again like that. Like he loved you. He didn’t even know you. He didn’t know that things you had done; who you were.

“I’d like to get to know you though. If you’ll let me.”

╚ ——————————————— ╝

AHHHH so writing this I kinda fell in love with the potential for this plot, esp with the stuff with the readers history with Jisung???? SHould I make this a series???? Softdom!bin romancing us?? Let me knowwwww

457 notes · View notes

2-cute-4-school · 4 years

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𝘕𝘊𝘛 𝘋𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴

requested by the lovely @m4rshm4llow (*ૂ❛ัᴗ❛ั*ૂ)

Mark Lee

i think mark is quite good with children too when he’s not frozen in awkwardness

but i wouldn’t trust with him alone with a kid for too long tbh

like i see him as someone who could probably entertain a kid for a couple of hours succesfully but taking care of them?? yeah no (˵¯͒ བ¯͒˵)

so let’s say he had to tag along with you to babysit because he didn’t want to waste any time he could spend with you *let my boy receive his love*

but he’s not thaaaat excited he just hopes that the kid will get K.O.-ed early in the night so he could have some alone time with you( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).... TO CUDDLE ya nasties

so when you arrive at your cousin’s house and you come in

he surely DIDN’T expect a kid to literally throw himself onto you and cling to your legs while chanting your name o(*^▽^*)o

the only way you can get him to detach so you can walk is if you pick him up in your arms

“y/n, who’s he?” mark just stares at the chubby finger pointed at him and produces an *HIGHLY AWKWARD* smile like (*′☉.̫☉)

“oh this is mark, my boyfriend”

*silence* “ew”

now hold on rewind

did a kid just ‘ew’ at mark (｡☉︵ ಠ╬)

and then he had THE AUDACITY to cling to your neck while rambling about his new robot toy and mark had to THIRDWHEEL the entire night

now he’s sure you have superpowers how could you tame that!!??!?! even haechan could be considered mild in comparison to... this ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

he’s pouty the entire evening while you play and take care of the newly spawned devil in town who HOGS your attention the entire time

so when he finally runs out of energy a bit later than mark would have hoped for, he’s quick to envelop you in his arms and drag you into a well deserved cuddle session ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

“what took you so looong?”

“sorry sorry, i had to look under his man for boogeyman”

“pffft i think boogeyman is the one looking under his bed for that kid”

but he does melt when he remembers the way your eyes sparkled as the child giggled excitedly on your lap while imagining himself in the picture too (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡

Huang Renjun

renjun as we all know is just a bit short tempered so i’m not sure where he stands in his relationship with kids 눈_눈

but also he brings up his younger cousins quite often and he seems very fond of them whenever he talks about them

so i guess he likes kids but like good kids ya know Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

so let’s say you’re shopping in like one of those bigger supermarkets

and you hear cries

your mother instincts literally GO OFF LIKE CRAZY

renjun doesn’t even have the time to blink before you’re dragging him in the direction of the noise with such precision you might as well have a radar at this point ᕕ༼✿•̀︿•́༽ᕗ

turns out a little girl was lost between the tall aisles

renjun is a lil bewildered cause what is he supposed to do? not like he’s tall enough to see other the aisles in his dreams maybe

but you seem to know EXACTLY what to do as you crouch down in front of the girl and speak to her so gently not even renjun can hear properly

and then as if nothing happened she stops crying

just like that so renjun decides to try his luck too o｜◕ˇ▽ˇ◕｜ツ

“come on, let’s go find mommy and daddy”

and lemme tell ya the little girl sprung into your arms and clung to you with everything she had as she mumbled into your neck

“i only wanna go with miss” (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

his eye twitched a lil ngl （；¬＿¬)

and that’s how you end up taking a stroll to the announcement desk with a whole child gripping onto your hand

renjun would have never imagined his grocery run to turn into this

he only wanted some damn carrots not a frickin child ಠ╭╮ಠ

thankfully it didn’t take long for the parents to run over and thank you for returning their child safely but there was only one problem left

getting her to let go of you

that was a whole ass dramatic goodbye

poor renjun was left exhausted after this he gave up any grocery run he intended to do and dragged you home pronto (ﾉTдT)ﾉ

he admires you so much for how you handled the situation and how you seemed to be so natural and in your element he can only think of how great of a mother you will be in the future with his beside you hopefully

Lee Jeno

one word, his greatest asset: PATIENCE

i see jeno as a man of patience which is more than just helpful when it comes to handling children ❀.(*´◡`*)❀.

he’s also volunteered in all these programs that involved children and he did really well if you ask me soooo he’s a good ally to have (︶.̮︶✽)

and you really REALLY want to volunteer together at one of those like emergency centres for children or something

and who is he to deny his love? he couldn’t have even if he wanted to, you’re too cute in his eyes so he lets you get your way anyway

so before you step inside one of the caretakers gives you some advice

warns you that the new kid, a little girl still in primary school, is still very closed off and wary of everyone

but as you step inside the kids get drawn to you like moths to a flame, swarming around you and asking you questions while dragging you in the living room to play with them

jeno just trails behind, watching the entire commotion with his soft eye smile as he understands (◍•ᴗ•◍)

he knows that you just have a way with people, he’s been in the same position mesmerized by you, it’s one of the reasons he loves you so much and seeing you so purely happy surrounded by children

MELTED HIM ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

eventually you drag him into the happy circle too and he seems to fit in just right by your side with giggling children everywhere around you

he ends up using his muscly arms ᕙ[ ˵ ͡’ ω ͡’ ˵ ]ᕗ as swings

“hey!! i’m stronger than you!!! let’s have a fight!!!!”

you just giggle as you colour some pictures with a few kids but stare at your boyfriend from the corner of your eye

jeno is so simply happy and comfortable he doesn’t even notice when you disappear from the crowd at first

but when he does his eyes search wildly for you like a lost puppy Σ(ﾟﾛ､ﾟ;)

but then he spots you

curled up on a small couch in the corner of the room, deep in conversation with the new girl whose eyes seemed just a little brighter as you clutched her hand in yours warmly ｡ﾟ.(*´◡` )

and jeno just realises again

you’re just working your charm once again and once again jeno falls for you for the nth time, deeper than the last time and lighter than the next

Lee Donghyuck

this manchild right here smh ୧༼◔益◔୧ ༽

now don’t get me wrong i’m pretty sure he’s decent at least with children

given he has two younger siblings and he often talks about hanging out with his little brother also have you seen that vid with the little girl?? the was he talked to her ⊂（♡⌂♡）⊃

buuuut BUT he’s also DYING like a fish out of water without attention

so when he invites you to tag along to his hangout with his lil bro

he didn’t expect TO BE THE ONE THIRDWHEELING!!!! (╬ಠ益ಠ)

you keep feeding and pampering his brother who basks in your full attention half because he loves it half because he loves the annoyed look on hyuck’s face

“babe i want some kimchi too” (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

“oh!!! sure, i’m sorry for hoarding it all”

and as hyuck awaits with his eyes closed and his mouth open with a pleased smile

you plop a bowl of kimchi in front of him and turn back to his brother as he tugs on the sleeve of your shirt

hyuck, muttering to himself: ‘i should have left you home, you lil brat, both of you traitors!!!!!’ (ノTДT)ノ ┻┻

he pouts and sighs dramatically with crossed arms the entire night while watching you interact oh so sweetly with his little brother

but he can’t deny the warm feeling of fondness swarming is his chest seeing you get along so well with his family and being so genuinely happy when you’re with kids

still complains to you when he gets you alone

“i can’t believe you love my brother more than me!!! ME, YOUR SWEET LOVELY CUTIE BOYFRIEND!!!” ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

“first of all, i wouldn’t stretch it that far-” “how is that stretching-?!??!”

“i’m sorry i’m sorry, my sweet lovely cutie boyfriend, i just missed him, he’s so cute and i haven’t seen him in so long and he seems to grow so fast every time we meet” (oꆤ︵ꆤo)

NOW hyuck is real soft how can he be mad at you when you’re THIS ADORABLE AFSKSGDFSAF-

hyuck just presses a sweet smooch to your temple and mutters

“he only acts that cute with you, he’s a devil at home”

“sheesh, i wonder who he takes after” *pointed look* (￢ε￢　)

Na Jaemin

my man here will most likely compete with YOU for the CHILD’S attention

it’s like GAME OVER for him if a child rejects him ε-(≖д≖﹆)

he’s never gonna get over this betrayal from both sides

so let’s say he takes you with him when he offers to babysit a cousin or neighbour idk you get where i’m getting at

and he’s already ‘play buddies’ with him as jaemin likes to put it (,,꒪꒫꒪,,)

and you’re slightly acquitanced with him from a previous visit to jaemin’s house when you coincidentally met

so when jaemin opens the door and announces his presence LOUDLY, the little boy doesn’t waste A SECOND to waddle in the hallway and meet you both ლ(＾ω＾ლ)

and jaemin crouches to meet him midway and-

and he *swooshes* past jaemin and into your open arms while giggling

jaemin, a lonely man in the middle of a hallway: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

the entire day, your boyfriend tries to steal the kid’s attention or bribe him over with sweets or toys

now you’re wondering who the real brat is

is salty about the UTTER rejection but also can’t help but watch you both so fondly with a proud hopefully in future for real fatherly smile (*ૂ❛ัᴗ❛ั*ૂ)

“are you practicing, y/n?”

“pardon?”

“practice, are you practicing?”

“for...?” ∑（´△｀○）

“ya know” *wiggles eyebrows* “taking care of our future children”

“learn how to control your own brat at home read jisung first and THEN we can talk, jaemama”

jaemin can’t believe this low blow, how could you after everything he’s done: cooking for you, taking you on bike rides even though he was the one who wanted to, even buying pads!!! or even worse!!!!! STRAWBERRY YOGHURT!!!!!! ∑(ﾟ台ﾟlll

he’s still pouty as you all put on an animation and snuggle a blanket

but then!!!! you fall asleep with the little boy in your embrace

and jaemin!!!!! just!!! CAN’T!!! stay mad!!!!!! cause you’re both just SO absolutely irrevocably CUTE!!!!!! ♡( ૢ⁼̴̤̆ ꇴ ⁼̴̤̆ ૢ)~ෆ♡

so he just HAS TO lay a *meaningful* smooch on your forehead as he sleepily moves closer to you both, one arm wrapping loosely around you while the other caresses the child’s head, lulling the both of them to sleep his protecc instincts kicked in y’all

Zhong Chenle

he has already expressed his wish to have a family someday since he wants to live the same happiness his brother does with his own family

which i think is ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS

and we all know he’s WHIPPED for his nephew ˞♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ)

but unfortunately

that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s good with children yet

let me give you a context over here

so he’s left alone for a short while with his baby nephew which shouldn’t be too bad since technically chenle is an adult at least legally okay??

and right things are all good until BABY STARTS TO CRY i’m talking about the actual baby here although chenle might cry too at this point

and chenle just PANICS when he realises that just shushing won’t work and whacking a hand over his mouth *cough* like he does to jisung *cough* isn’t an option (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)

but thankfully, you’re there!!!!!!

“may i?” you ask chenle as you stretch out your arms in his direction

chenle has never passed over anything faster in his entire life џ(ºДºџ)

so when you coddle the baby in your arms and just gently bounce him a little he just settles down so cutely and most important QUIETLY as he stares up at you with curious eyes, small fingers curling up around a necklace swung around your neck or just the fabric of your shirt

chenle is all like (๑•́o•̀๑)!!

HOW DID YOU JUST DO THAT!!!!

and he watches with eyes even more curious than his nephew’s eyes as the baby slowly dozes off peacefully in your arms (꒡ ω ꒡ )zzz

it just hits him just how natural the scene looks

he approaches carefully once he’s sure his nephew fell asleep and lays a gentle hand on your head as he peers down at the cute chubby baby face

“you’re a life saver, how did you even manage to do that?” ◎ܫ◎

“you know, i have to take care of you all the time so-”

he flicks your forehead faster than you can finish that sentence

way to ruin a moment (oT-T)

but *SIKEEE* the baby fusses a little as soon as you frown and chenle immediately freaks out

he showers the spot on your forehead with kisses and his nephew settles down once again as you smile at him proudly ໒( ͡ᵔ ▾ ͡ᵔ )७

chenle rolls his eyes as if he doesn’t wish for this scene to become familiar to him sometime in the future

Park Jisung

this chick is still a baby who barely hatched

so he’s still in CONSTANT WONDER of the world ༼ つ ◕o◕ ༽つ

and in this episode of ‘jisung the explorer’ he’s discovering... ACTUAL babies

so you were on a date at the local mall when you met with a family friend of your mom’s who was struggling with her fussy baby girl in a carrier while trying to shop for some baby products

so you offer to watch over the girl until her mom finishes up (•́⌄•́๑)૭✧

but just as you’re about to attach the baby carrier to yourself, an old woman asks for directions around the shop

so you pass the baby to jisung for literally a minute to show the lady the way └(>ω<。)┐

and jisung is HIGHKEY PANICKED

he holds the baby by the underarms at arms length and obviously she doesn’t enjoy that and just starts wailing in the middle of the shop

and people just... stare (,Ծ_Ծ,)

and jisung is all like ‘IT’S NOT MINE!!!!! AND I’M NOT STEALING OR MISTREATING IT EITHER!!!!!!’

the moment you’re back in his sight, he’s THRUSTING that tiny loud bald creature in your arms it’s a child jisung ║ * ರ Ĺ̯ ರ * ║

and he expects for you to panic too but right away

the baby quietens down as you cuddle her close to your chest and coo softly in a hushed baby voice

and she plays with your shirt while you glare at your boyfriend (눈_눈)

“y/n, you sorcerer, how did you just shut it off?”

“i didn’t ‘shut it off’, she’s a baby not a tape recorder”

“oh REALLY, i couldn’t tell the difference for a moment there”

you just might consider returning jisung and keeping the baby（ ಠωಠ）

he watches in wonder as you entertain the baby for the next few minutes until her mother comes back

and he swears his heart skips a beat when he sees your smile widen with tenderness once you get a small giggle out of the baby (*ฅ́˘ฅ̀*)

he supposes maybe she isn’t so bad since she makes you so happy

even though she was louder than even chenle which is an accomplishment at this point

and when jisung notices your slight pout once you gave the baby back and parted ways he makes sure to shower your face in kisses until you regain the same smile that made him fall so deep in love with you

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neoheros · 4 years

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how would haikyuu boys handle getting shipped with a friend on tiktok? feat. kuroo tetsuro

kuroo tetsuro has a crippling tiktok addiction and he’s in denial about it but everyone around him knows because all he does in his free time is get on that app

that’s canon i’m not arguing with anyone about this

he’s the kind of guy to fall asleep from scrolling through his fyp and the moment he wakes up he looks for his phone under his pillow to watch more lmaooo

so anyways

you share classes with him and he’s not really the kind of guy to have crushes especially on people he’s not close with

but then one day he’s on his fyp and he stumbles on one of your videos

and he’s just like ?? woah

he recognizes you obvi, he’s not one to talk to people out of his friend group but he’s not completely ignorant to everyone else

he immediately sees that you have indeed quite the following and have almost majority of your posts going viral

so yea you can say he’d notice you more in class now

at first it was subtle, looking at you more when he’s spacing out or paying close attention to you when you’re reciting

he doesn’t even notice how he includes you more in his thought process until the day kenma pointed it out to him how he’s been a bit more distracted lately

he brushed it off thinking it wasn’t really anything serious

but then boy Oh boy !!!

he started noticing the fact that you’ve got a really nice room in your vids and your fave led lights are the red ones since you almost always use them

he’s also really into the fact that you upload more on comedic videos than dancing ones

but HONEY when you posted your take on the dance trend of savage by megan thee stallion ,,, he was GONEEEE !!!

he sent that video to kenma like five times in a row with the caption “aha brb gonna LIVE for this woman 😗✌️”

kenma be like: simp city population - u

at this point he just accepts it, like flat out he took it within himself to UNDERSTAND how much he’s crushing on you and kenma asks him if he’s gonna do anything about it and he’s like ????

like he gets how awesome he is and stuff cause duh captain of the volleyball team and most probably the most beautiful man on campus but you’re also really good in class and very attractive

not to mention that you’ve never even looked his way before

he was hurt, man !!

only he could feel as rejected as someone who actually did get rejected

nevertheless, he got over that and just woke up one day telling himself that he was gonna shoot his shot anyway !!

so one day in class, right after the lunch bell rang, he took a deep breath and rummaged his insides for every drip of confidence he could muster

he walked to your seat and you were kinda surprised because this boy right here has never once talked to you before

his opening line was “can i sit here?”

you were still really confused but then he said something about wanting to be friends and your heart was just really warm cause !!!! that’s so NICE !!

and he mentioned how he knew you from tiktok since you practically lived on his fyp

you were really embarrassed and he got to see in action how your ears turn really red when you get shy

kuroo, internally: “that’s so FUCKEN CUTE !!!!!”

he had to reassure you that it was indeed really cool that you made bomb ass tiktoks

you were so grateful cause like one minute you were having a terrible day because of your stupid teacher then bam this 6’2 beauty of a man came swooping in telling you you were terrific

you two became friends after that and it made you really happy to have someone as cool as kuroo as your best friend

kuroo likes to sit with you at lunch except when you’re with other people then he gets a bit dejected so he’s just “well damn maybe tomorrow then”

it’s all good though cause he has invited you to numerous of his practices and that’s when you SEE how amazing this man is at volleyball

one day you’re like “hey wanna do a tiktok with me?”

and he’s like “the one where you kiss me?”

you, flushed: DIPSHIT WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT !!!!1!1!1!!

you guys do the one where you dance to supalonely by benee

it went OFF !!! 700k likes and a solid ass 2.7M views because apparently the viewers really like it when kuroo dances next to you in his varsity uniform and has sweat dripping on his forehead

your comments for the next two weeks are just like “bro post another one with kuroo please PLEASE”

kuroo: guess people just like me more :)

you: leave my mentions <3

sometimes you’d get people replying to your videos with “you and kuroo look really good together”

you see them but you most likely ignore it because even if you did know how much you liked kuroo, you didn’t wanna jeopardize the friendship, yk?

anyhow due to popular demand, you include him in your videos again and every time you do they always go viral !!!

it’s very cute especially when you do the ones where you snapchat him song lyrics and he answers even if he does know it’s a trend

“can they please just get together already, we all know they’re pining but they’re too coward to say it !!”

you: ok u know what user9728182829 since u’r so good at this why don’t u be the one to make tiktoks at a volleyball court and dodge all those stray balls 😤

you were so fed up with it that you actually tell kuroo about the entirety of tiktok shipping the two of you together

he was worried that you were upset because people liked you and him dating that he thought maybe you just weren’t into him

BUT THEN !!!

because of the corona virus all the schools shut down and people were forced to stay in their houses for quarantine

it was sad that everything got cancelled and you weren’t allowed to see your friends anymore

but that’s ok cause kuroo insisted to facetime everyday

you: why can’t we just text

kuroo: because what if you forget what i look like 🥺

you: hey i’m not that blessed ❤️

it was like the quarantine never happened since you still saw and talked to him everyday

sometimes he’d show up at your place but refuse to come inside cause social distancing

this mfer threw rocks on your glass window just to get your attention once

kuroo: i got you those edible cookie dough in pints !!

you: omfg 🥺👉👈

then he chucks it at you because he ain’t boutta break the law to get you food 😤

it’s ok though you have really good reflexes and it only hit your elbow the first 2 times !!

you got it all on camera and posted it on tiktok and everyone in the comments were LIVID at the fact that you captioned it with “best friends b like”

“i just know that kuroo is punching the air right now.”

“imagine risking the corona and still being friend zoned.”

“when you realize kuroo is actually the president of simp city.”

other times he’d snap you at 3 in the morning asking if you want anything from starbucks

no one:

your snapchat dms at 3:28 am: you really went to bed you SN A KE !!

and when you wake up the next morning you find out that this guy is still awake and that he’s been chilling in the starbucks parking lot all morning !!!

that’s ok though because other than the fact that his sleep schedule is completely wrecked he still got you your venti strawberry acai refresher

you: thank you sm 🥺 what do i owe you

kuroo: a kiss on the cheek

you: you can have the drink back ❤️

that’s when the new tiktok trend started and people were posting the hottest guys on campus or revealing their crushes since 1st grade

you, feeling brave because school is cancelled: aight bet 😎

you do a tiktok hopping on the trend and you captioned it with “now that we aren’t coming back to school here are the boys from campus that i’d date for real”

you stall for the first 30 second by vibing to the music and when the beat drop !!

you showed a picture of kuroo and you put in the text “kinda missing him too”

you were extremely regretting this but numerous people already saw it and the comments went on and on about how unsurprising this was

press f ma’am

so one afternoon while kuroo was scrolling through his tiktok, he was surprised by the amount of notifications he was getting

cause he doesn’t even post videos ??

he’s only there to watch funny stuff and leave insulting comments on your posts cause he’s a good friend

he checks and they’re all just tags of him in this one video and he was kinda worried cause what if it was a hate post ??

but then he saw that it was yours and he’s less nervous !!!

kuroo, texting you: if you diss me in this one i’m posting the screenshot of you falling asleep on facetime

so he watches it and ??????????????

bro he went 🥺

before he messages you he went straight for the comments and !!!!!

“who knew it was kuroo before watching the whole video?”

“don’t be shy put some more photos of him !!”

“if kuroo duets this i’m gonna make sure to never fall in love unless its like this.”

“y’all he did it boys!! he graduated from the best friend zone!!”

he’s still really surprised by this and he really hopes you’re not kidding cause bro you??? like him????

thanks to that comment he saw, he decides to duet your video by using the same sound and doing the same dance with the same caption “now that we aren’t coming back to school here are the ones from campus that i’d date for real”

and they’re all just pictures of you 🥺

it blows up but before you see it on your fyp he’s already asking to facetime and when you answer you swear he’s just got the biggest smile in the world i’m :(

kuroo: lol remember when you publicly told majority of the internet how much you liked me

you: lol remember when you weren’t talking ❤️

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1kook · 4 years

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jungkook + pure female pleasure

no joke that was deadass the title of the pornhub vid that inspired this tags: smut, domestic if u squint, handjob (f-receiving), a lil tit grabbin wc: not even 2k lol notes: why do all my ideas come to fruition at 1 am also this is one of many Jungkook fics I’ve started in the past week many of which will never see the light of day <3 god bless x2 bc its not proofread

Realistically, Jungkook knows you don’t mean to entice him the way you do. You just loved being in his general vicinity, loved being drowned in his affection, being the sole object of his attention. And he knows it’s the long, busy week you both had that’s making you like this tonight, extra cuddly and extra sweet to him. He’d almost died when you opened the door to your apartment, so soft and warm in one of his big t-shirts and a pair of shorts so little your ass fell out.

He was whipped, anyone could tell you as much, but Jungkook didn’t care. Sure, he’d been deeply connected with other women before, but the way you made him feel, the comfort and adoration you’ve brought him in only the past six months of dating, was surreal. He knows now, all those other relationships he’d been in? Those flings and short-lived romances? Child’s play compared to the sheer amount of love you drowned him in.

Which is why he feels bad when he tells you he can’t tonight, right after your fingers toy with the waistband of his joggers—he came here straight after the gym, smelly and stinky and gross, because if he had stopped at his home, he’d most likely lose the energy to come see you tonight, and after the week you’ve had he couldn’t do that to you—and your lips trail across his neck. He’d felt terrible, watching the tiny pout on your lips as you registered his confession, and even worse when you smoothed it over and assured him all was right so long as he was here beside you.

It’s been twenty minutes now, and Jungkook was out of it. Was it the guilt from not being able to please you? You, who had done everything in your power to grant Jungkook the happiest six months of his life thus far. Guilt... or shame that he was so tired he couldn’t please you, his literal goddess. He wasn’t sure, and between being caught up in those thoughts, and balancing the bowl of popcorn on his lap, his brain can’t keep up. The popcorn tumbles over after a particularly jerky movement from him, the buttery food toppling onto your lap where it immediately sets into your tiny shorts.

“Jungkook!” You gasp in surprise, hopping to your feet to brush the oil away quickly. He sputters into action, rounding up the sullied popcorn bits and dumping them back into the bowl—it had no use now anyway. “Ah,” you say, when the chaos dies over and you’re left greasy from the food. “I’m gonna go get changed real quick, okay?”

“Wait—I’m sorry,” he sighs, catching your wrist in his hand. You pause, regarding him with curious eyes as you watch him slump over in his seat. “I’m fucking up real bad tonight, aren’t I?”

You plop down beside him, and Jungkook feels even worse seeing how sleek your thighs are with popcorn oil. “You’ve done nothing wrong, baby,” you assure him, brushing a hand down the nape of his neck. He relaxes into the touch. “Well, you did waste all that popcorn and get me dirty, but!” He rolls his eyes, obsesses over the quirk of your smile a little too much to be normal. “Nothing my little Rumba and a shower won’t fix.”

He groans as he leans back into the couch, and you chuckle at his dramatics. You shift, and his eyes flicker down to your legs again. “Take these off,” he huffs, doesn’t realize the implications of his words until you’re kneeling beside him in a little black thong. He folds your shorts around, figures if they’re dirty they might as well get dirtier as he wipes your thighs with the cotton.

“My hero,” you tease, wiggle your shoulders at him, and that’s when it hits him.

He gives your body a brief once over, doesn’t miss the way your thighs shift about the longer he stares at you. A lightbulb goes off somewhere, and he’s tossing your shorts to the ground, tugging you into his lap. “Baby,” you laugh, body pliant against his palms as he shifts you about. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Jungkook presses a kiss to your mouth, and part of him revels in the way your lips drop open so easily for him, a tiny exhale escaping you as he pecks your lips a couple more times. “Come here,” he says, ignoring your question as he spreads his legs wide, maneuvering you to sit in the open space between with your legs thrown over one leg, upper body thrown over the other.

“Jungkook,” you warn once the realization hits you, but he shushes you by ducking down and pressing another kiss to your lips.

“Let me take care of you, doll,” he murmurs, grabs the knee closest to him in one hand, slowly trailing his palm across the meat of your thighs.

You say no more as you melt into his hold, and part of Jungkook is happy to see that he has the same effect on you as you do on him. He massages your inner thigh a little more, let’s his fingers barely brush against the fabric of your thong. “So good to me,” he says, and the noise from the tv fades away as his ears hone in on the shaky exhales leaving your throat.

Your lower lip trembles when he makes eye contact with you, awaiting his first move. When he finally does run his palm over your mound, your hips arch deliciously into the air. “Woah, woah,” he chuckles, pressing his other hand down against your hip to hold you down, though it eventually let’s go in favor of smoothing over your stomach and ribs.

“Jungkook,” you huff, and he hums, pressing his thumb down over your bud. “J-Jungkook!” You gasp, hips swiveling at the sudden contact. He shushes you, rubs his thumb in circles as you continue to twitch and wiggle about.

You were so sensitive, and he was so in love.

“So pretty,” he tells you, stretching his fingers down to rub over your clothed folds. You moan, and your ability to stay still slowly begins to wither away as he presses harder and harder into you. “Just wanna fuck your pretty little brains out,” he admits,

Your back arches, and his big t-shirt slides down (up?) your body, pooling just before the swell of your breasts. He knew you weren’t wearing a bra, had felt your soft chest when you’d hugged him at the door. He pushes your shirt out of the way, massaging your boobs. You cry out at the sensation, hips circling up into his palm.

“More, more,” you whine, legs and arms stretching out wildly the faster he rubs his thumb over your clit. But it’s not enough, Jungkook Can tell by the way your brow furrows and the way you press his hand tighter against your breast.

“Take these off for me, doll,” he encourages, tugging at the hem of your thong and watches the way it rolls into itself the further down it goes, until you’re kicking it off your ankle with no consideration. He knocks your knees apart, can’t help but salivate at the glistening folds that present themselves to him.

“So wet, and tight,” he mumbles, dives his finger down just barely between your folds. You squeal, bucking into his palm. “And so, so responsive.”

“Please, just touch… touch me,” you cry out, grinding into his palm.

“Don’t worry your pretty head off, sweetheart,” Jungkook assures you, slides the point of his middle finger past your folds and into your core. You’re tighter than he remembers, but so warm and inviting. “Wanna make you cum and cum, until you’re shaking,” he says, and though he’s become so riled up by seeing you like this, his heart still flutters when you grab onto his shoulder, the fabric of his shirt bunched between your clenched fist.

Without the presence of that skimpy thing, there’s nothing that stops him from pressing his thumb against your clit. You positively mewl at the touch, your leg sporadically kicking out, sending a throw pillow tumbling off the couch.

“Oh—oh!” You weep, hands desperate to hold anything, anything, and they find their place wrapped around his bicep and grappling onto the side of the couch cushion. Jungkook basks in your reactions, reaches both hands down to rub against your dripping pussy. Every touch of his fingers to your most sensitive parts riles you up more and more, hips bucking into his palm, only to jerk away right after.

“Keep still,” Jungkook coos, smooths a palm over your stomach to push you down again. You moan, the simple touch sending tingles down your spine. And when you squirm about again and end up with a foot dangling off the side of the couch, face so close and overwhelmed, Jungkook can’t help but slot his mouth against yours for the briefest of moments.

It’s apparently the wrong thing to do, because when he pulls away, you're nearly sobbing and desperate for more. “Jungkookie, ther—there!!” You shriek, use the foot on the ground to push your hips up into his palm.

He lets you, mostly because it’s usually Jungkook desperate and horny for you, so to see you quivering and sobbing on his lap, pussy spread out for him to toy with, it boosts something inside of him. He gives your clit another few rubs, swallows the loud moan that threatens to escape, before trailing his hand further down your center.

“No, no,” you cry, looking at Jungkook with watery eyes. Your skin is so warm, every inch soft under his roaming palms. “I’ll cum, Jungkook, I-I’ll com—“

He silences you with another kiss, and for someone who loves you so much, he absolutely adores the way your lips tremble against his, the more distraught you become. “That’s the plan, doll,” he huffs out a quiet chuckle, smiles down at you as your face twists in pleasure.

“Koo—Kook!” You sob, hips bucking wildly into his palm, and Jungkook doesn’t even try to hold you down anymore, let’s you squirm and flail about as you chase your high. His fingers don’t slow either, rubbing against your glistening folds and your clit, until you’re sobbing his name some more.

“Come on, pretty baby,” he croons, reaching down to massage your breasts again. You cry out, flailing wildly. Your back arches so prettily, Jungkook thinks you could have been a renaissance statue, and you come.

“J-Jungkook,” you weep, body releasing a tiny series of twitches as your pleasure washes over you, and you cum all over his hand. He tries his best to keep it from staining your couch, but you come so much that he can barely push it back into you. “Jungkookie,” you whisper a second time, when the waves are beginning to slow and his fingers become too much.

He rushed to reassure you he’s still there, pressing a tender kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Right here, baby,” he murmurs, kissing down your face until he’s sucking against the soft spot behind your ear.

“Fuck,” you murmur, limbs still loose and weak against him.

He hums, pumps his fingers into you one last time, much to your surprise, because he loved the slick feeling of your warm heat enveloping him. “Feel good?” He asks, and you release another pitiful whine when his fingers curl inside of you. He muffles a smile against your jaw.

“Uh huh,” you groan, hips twitching again. You clench around his digits, and Jungkook wonders just how many more times he can unravel you tonight.

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