#still learning how to regulate your emotions and all that

[apollos-boyfriend]

I don't understand any adult who genuinely hates kids. They can be stressful and a lot sometimes but they are so sweet and trying their best. Yes, even teenagers. I've trained a lot of teenagers at my job and every single one of them is so kind and helpful if you just give them respect, even the 'problem' ones who get into fights at school. They just lack experience and knowledge and need someone patient to teach them but they aren't trying to be 'bad' or anything. I don't even like kids all that much but not being able to get along with them and respect them as people is a skill issue.

i didn’t add this to the last post because i struggle to word it but being an adult that genuinely hates kids is like. pathetic. like kids act out and can be little shits because they’re still learning. they’re learning how to regulate their emotions and navigate social etiquette and just Be people. if you’re a grown ass adult you don’t have that excuse. saying you hate kids/being mean to kids just broadcasts to me that your abilities to regulate your emotions and acquiesce with others is worse than a Literal Child’s and that’s just sad

[anxiously-kk]

twitter needs to examine their rampant misogyny towards older woman they don’t like (and all woman tbh) because bowie overheard miss kitty kitty talking to america about how jag and matt aren’t off the hook and bowie went and told them that and the response from periwinkle stans has been disgusting. like they are talking about how creepy bowie is how she’s old enough to be their mom but she wants them to be into her how they expect to learn she sucked their d*cks that’s she’s a troll that she’s playing dirty that she’s not one of the girls who would agree with everything misogynistic podcast boys say that she’s jealous of blue and can’t handle that she’s one of the cool girls and it’s like??? this was just a completely normally objectively good move? sorry cornflower doesn’t know how to whisper?

[caparrucia]

Full offense and pun fully intended, but I genuinely think the very existence of "dead dove, do not eat" was a fucking canary in the mines, and no one really paid attention.

Because the tag itself was created as a response to a fandom-wide tendency to disregard warnings and assume tagging was exaggerated. And then the same fucking idiots reading those tags describing things they found upsetting or disturbing or just not to their taste would STILL click into the stories and give the writer's grief about it.

And as a response writers began using the tag to signal "no, really, I MEAN the tags!"

But like.

If you really think about it, that's a solution to a different problem. The solution to "I know you tagged your story appropriately but I chose to disregard the tags and warnings by reading it anyway, even though I knew it would upset me, so now I'm upset and making it your problem" is frankly a block, a ban and wide-spread blacklisting. But fandom as a whole is fucking awful at handling bad faith, insidious arguments that appeal to community inclusion and weaponize the fact most people participating in fandom want to share the space with others, as opposed to hurting people.

So instead of upfront ridiculing this kind of maladaptive attempt to foster one's own emotional self-regulation onto random strangers on the internet, fandom compromised and came up with a redundant tag in a good faith attempt to address an imaginary nuance.

There is no nuance to this.

A writer's job is to tag their work correctly. It's not to tag it exhaustively. It's not even to tag it extensively. A writer's sole obligation, as far as AO3 and arguably fandom spaces are concerned, is to make damn sure that the tags they put on their story actually match whatever is going on in that story.

That's it.

That's all.

"But what if I don't want to read X?" Well, you don't read fic that's tagged X.

"But what if I read something that wasn't tagged X?" Well, that's very unfortunate for you, but if it is genuinely that upsetting, you have a responsibility to yourself to only browse things explicitly tagged to not include X.

"But that's not a lot of fic!" Hi, you must be new here, yes, welcome to fandom. Most of our spaces are built explicitly as a reaction to There's Not Enough Of The Thing I Want, both in canon and fandom.

"But there are things on the internet that I don't like!" Yeah, and they are also out there, offline. And, here's the thing, things existing even though we personally dislike or even hate or even flat out find offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable existing is the price we pay to secure our right to exist as individuals and creators, regardless of who finds US personally unpleasant, hateful or flat out offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable.

"But what about [illegal thing]?!" So the thing itself is illegal, because the thing itself has been deemed harmful. But your goddamn cop-poisoned authoritarian little heart needs to learn that sometimes things are illegal that aren't harmful, and defaulting to "but illegal!" is a surefire way to end up on the wrong side of the fascism pop quiz. You're not a figure of authority and the more you demand to control and exercise authority by command, rather than leadership, the less impressive you seem. You know how you make actual, genuine change in a community? You center harm and argue in good faith to find accommodations and spread awareness of real, actual problems.

But let's play your game. Let's pretend we're all brainwashed cop-abiding little cogs that do not own a single working brain cell to exercise critical thinking with. 99% of the time, when you cry about any given thing "being illegal!!!" you're correct only so far as the THING itself being illegal. The act or object is illegal. Depiction of it is not. You know why, dipshit? Because if depiction of the thing were illegal, you wouldn't be able to talk about it. You wouldn't be able to educate about it. You wouldn't be able to reexamine and discuss and understand the thing, how and why and where it happens and how to prevent it. And yeah, depiction being legal opens the door for people to make depictions that are in bad taste or probably not appropriate. Sure. But that's the price we pay, creating tools to demystify some of the most horrific things in the world and support the people who've survived them. The net good of those tools existing outweighs the harm of people misusing them.

"You're defending the indefensible!" No, you're clumsily stumbling into a conversation that's been going on for centuries, with your elementary school understanding of morality and your bone-deep police state rot filtering your perception of reality, and insisting you figured it out and everyone else at the table is an idiot for not agreeing with you. Shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and read a goddamn book.

[vienssunshine]

It's Too Much

pairing: Choso Kamo x fem!reader nsfw: dom!reader, inexperienced!Choso, premature ejaculation word count: 1.5k author's note: this idea took third place in the poll, but i was extra inspired from a tiktok my friend sent me description: Choso has been touch-starved for so long that, when you touch him, it can be a lot, maybe even too much

Choso has never felt another's body against his own that wasn’t attempting to hurt him. For all 150 years he’s been alive up until he met you, physical contact meant pain. But now, he’s beginning to learn that that isn't completely true.

There are similarities between a touch of pain versus…pleasantness might be the word—he hasn’t sorted it out completely yet—as a feeling lingers after contact. A strike leaves an aching bruise, the afflicted area reminding him of the injury whenever the slightest pressure is applied, but when you place a gentle hand on Choso’s shoulder while speaking to him, it leaves behind something entirely different. 

The best way he can describe the initial feeling is as a warmth, and not just due to the intrinsic heat from where your flesh meets his, but one that swells in his chest and spreads out to the rest of his body. After you leave, your touch doesn’t require a mark on his skin or a painful sting like a bruise needs to be remembered, rather, the outline of where your fingers laid on his shoulder simmers on his skin for the rest of the day. 

You fluster him with your casual touches–placing your hand on his forearm or leaning your head on his shoulder–but it helps him work up the courage to start acting on his own desires to feel you. He appreciates how you let him take his time as he explores the little things, like the feeling of holding your hand, intertwining his roughened fingers with yours. He looks up to your face, making sure what he's doing is okay, and you give him a gentle smile, telling him he's doing great. There is that warmth in his chest again. He realizes he likes the feeling of you praising him—a lot. 

Soon, he starts asking for more: to cup your cheeks, pet your hair. One day, he asks to hold your body against his on the bed, feeling your softness and warmth while working hard to regulate the influx of emotions your proximity inspires. Yet, it gets the better of him and he asks something that’s been on his mind for a while: if he can kiss you.

You accept, of course, and with your lips so soft and sweet, things quickly develop, escalating to the point where you are on top of him, straddling his big legs, and kissing down his bare chest to his waistband. He tries to keep still, but your lips feel so good and his hips betray that, gently thrusting up and into you.

“S-sorry,” Choso says, “I…I can’t control it.”

You look up from his chest. “It’s okay, Choso,” you say as you drag your hands down his abs to his waistband, deepening the pink dusted upon his cheeks, “It seems like you want more.” 

“Mhmm,” Choso whimpers, watching as you tuck your fingertips into his waistband and pull it down, freeing his sensitive erection.

Your hands wrap around his length and his eyes flutter closed in bliss. Being touched there is a new sensation for Choso and it’s stirring up a feeling he hasn’t had much experience with.

He thinks it’s arousal, which is, according to Mahito, what causes humans to “fuck.” But Mahito always spoke about fucking in a negative light, describing it as disgusting, primal thing humans do. That perspective doesn't make sense to Choso anymore because whatever you are igniting in him, if it is that aroused feeling Mahito described, feels so good he thinks he would die if you stopped. 

“Do you like this, Choso?” you ask as you stroke him. Hearing his name fall so sweetly from your lips sends a shiver through Choso’s body. 

“I-I do,” he says, moaning when you pay special attention to his pink tip, stimulating the sensitive area with your fingers in a tight circle. He’s been unconsciously bucking his hips up into your fist, chasing more of this unfamiliar sensation that has pressure to build up in his stomach.

“Then, would you like it if I put it inside of me?” 

He hadn’t considered that as a possibility, already so pleasure-drunk from feeling your palm against him, but there’s no way he can refuse your offer. 

“Yes. Yes—fuck—please do that.”

“Alright, Choso,” you say, getting off of him, “You just sit still, okay?” 

His breathy whine tells you that the last thing he wants to do is sit still. You smile, he looks so cute when he’s desperate.

“Just a little bit longer,” you say, intentionally moving slower than necessary just to see how long the poor curse can hold out.

He watches as you pull down your underwear, and the second you remove it, he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you back on top of him. Then he’s pressing hot, sloppy kisses to your neck, devouring it like a man starved. His passion and intensity make up for his lack of experience, though you note he’s getting the hang of it.

Choso’s barrage of affection is halted by a surprised gasp when you grip his erection and align yourself with it. The hunger in your eyes reminds him of how out of his element he is, but he doesn’t let it scare him, rather, he lets it feed his desire of making you feel as good as he does. 

You hold the tip to your entrance and Choso’s breath hitches when he feels the wetness and warmth of your hole. Slowly, as to not overwhelm, you sink down on him, and he moans—sweet and unbridled—from the way your walls hug him. 

“I’ve—hah—never…felt something like this,” he says, eyes pressed closed, wrinkling the thin black mark running just underneath them. 

Your hands fall onto his built chest as you make it all the way down on him, driving the entirety of his long, slender dick deep within you. His hands fly to your hips when it happens, but then one grabs for your wrist on his chest, circling his fingers around it, needing you to help him through this new sensation. 

“Feels good?” you ask, your voice breathy.

“Feels s’good,” he says, “Too good.” He shifts around underneath you; the pressure he was feeling earlier when you were touching him is becoming inescapable, sweeping through his stomach like a vicious undercurrent. 

“I’m going to start moving now, 'kay?” you say. 

Choso nods but is woefully unprepared for when you begin to lift your hips up and down, pushing his length through your gummy walls. Your movements on top of the information already flooding his senses–your warm skin, rapid heartbeat, fluttering eyes—it's so overwhelming. His head falls back, and even though you’re going at such a slow pace, it feels like your walls are milking him, intent on making the tightness in his core snap.

Choso knows it’s too much for him, but watching your eyes close in pleasure and your fingers dig into the skin on his chest, it makes him want to keep going, to not cum just yet. But with the sight of you naked on top of him and the way your insides are squeezing him, not cumming is a near impossible task. He wants to do a good job for you, to hear you tell him that, but he's sure he won’t last. 

“Fuck, I’m s-ah-sorry,” Choso whines, “I can’t…if you keep moving, I can’t-“ 

“You’re gonna cum already, Choso?” you ask, a wickedness in your voice, “You feel that good?”

You’re teasing him, despite how you find your view beyond erotic: he’s a squirming mess underneath you, with his eyebrows pressed together, face flushed with warmth, and fingers tight around your wrist as he just fights the urge to cum.

“Yes—ngh—you feel s’good, s’good-I’m sorry,”—you feel his cock twitch inside you—“I can’t, I’m sorry, m’gonna-“

He groans, thrusting his hips up into you with a force that requires you to grab onto him to stay put, and empties his load deep inside you, sweet moans interspersed with apologies.

You’d be more disappointed in him for not lasting long, but with this being his first time in a while, you’re willing to forgive—especially after being treated to his endless, pretty noises.

When he comes down, you press a kiss on his cheek, “Too much, Choso?” you ask.

“I’m sorry, you just felt so good,” he says in between pants. His poor body is shaking, his chest is heaving, and a pink flush burns all over his pale skin. 

“It’s okay,” you say, “I enjoyed that.” Only, you wish you had been able to cum, too. Seeing him writhe underneath you has your cunt aching for attention.

He sits up, and you feel his cock move inside you. “Still, I wanted to last for you.”

“Sweet boy,” you say, pushing a few strands of dark hair out of his face, “You did great. I know it’s been a while since you’ve done anything like this.” 

He’s still pouting, but his frown turns into a smile when an idea hits him. He flips you over with ease—sometimes you forget how strong he is—and pulls out of you, keeping your legs open so he can bring his face down to your cunt, wetness mixed with his own cum seeping out of it. 

He presses a kiss to your inner thigh. “Let me make it up to you, I haven’t gotten to feel you on my tongue yet.” 

[gureumz]

project aphrodite

rating: explicit

member: jungwon

premise: in a post-apocalyptic world, you and jungwon are excellent scientists and are at the relative top of the list of people who are ideal parents for the next generation of this dying world. it's now your job to repopulate this earth so you ask your co-worker to pretty please knock you up.

notes: sci-fi elements, dystopian au, scientist!reader, scientist!jungwon, fem-bodied reader, reader is referred to as a woman, dom!jungwon, breeding, impreg kink (like heavily), dirty talk, platonic (?) breeding, co-workers with benefits (?), idk this is kinda speculative fiction but also suspend your disbelief a bit lol

a/n: first of my 1k follower special! not quite sure what order i'm following here but i hope you stay for the ride nonetheless! enjoy!

it's a strange feeling.

in your line of work, 'strange' is hardly any cause for concern. as a biologist with a concentration in genetics, you've seen all the ways nature does its job. from the familiar concepts almost all people learn about in science class like the basic 'mom-meets-dad-equals-baby' to the eerie methods organisms in the deep sea evolve to survive.

you've learned about it all, pored over each punnett square, stressed over the formulas. so, this shouldn't be anything to worry about.

and yet, you're still worried.

"i mean...what did we expect?" jay speaks up from beside you, eyeing the phone in his hand.

"we're presently some of the world's most brilliant minds so...," he adds, locking his phone before hunching over his desk. to your ears, it sounds as if he's trying to convince himself rather than you.

you scan over the document flashed on your own laptop screen. the harsh fluorescent lights overhead buzz nonstop, going on and on, a background hum all of you in the bunker have grown used to. at this moment, it lulls you into a daydream, vision swimming as you repeat the words in your head.

all government personnel with a status level 7 and higher are recommended to partake in project aphrodite. those falling under level 10 are strictly required. participation at this level is compulsory.

common citizens with a status of 9 to 10 are also required to participate. ample compensation for those successful will be provided.

"you're a level 8. it's not as if you have to," you mutter, fingers digging into your temples.

jay snickers. "how many level 10 government personnel are there in this ruined world? a few hundred or so doctors, another few hundred scientists, even fewer world leaders. that's not taking into account the difference in sex. my information's not up to date but last time i checked, there is a hell of a lot more men than there are women. it's a shitshow waiting to happen."

you turn to meet jay's eyes, not meaning to convey any certain emotion, but the way jay's expression falls leads you to believe that you look way more upset than you're letting on.

"oh shit, yeah," jay curses. "you're a level 10. i forgot."

you sigh, tilting your head back against the headrest of your seat.

"i'm sure they'll release more regulation soon," you begin. "this is just the initial memo. with our world hanging in the balance as it is, no one's gonna let this devolve into some patriarchal anarchy, i hope."

"yeah, of course," you hear jay agree. "most of the proponents of project aphrodite are women, anyway, so i'm sure they'll take extra measures to keep you safe."

you sit up straight, looking at jay once more. "this is the world, huh?"

you and jay pause before sharing a quick chuckle.

"'go make babies, or else,'" you say in a mock radio announcer voice. jay lets out a laugh, his voice echoing off the empty office walls.

the two of you fall into silence, as if retreating to your respective thoughts. all that's in your mind at this moment is your current project, the very thing the few people more powerful than you had assigned for you to do: leading your team in stopping that godforsaken virus ravaging the outside. you've been making steady progress so far, but with the weight of this new responsibility, you're not sure if you could keep the momentum up.

you realize with a passing thought that most of the scientists on your team are level 9s and 10s.

"well," you begin before you could stop yourself. you're suddenly overcome with a feeling of suffocation, the office space seemingly too small and continuously growing even smaller.

"i hope you find someone you'd like to procreate with," you say lightly, pushing yourself off your chair. you quickly gather your things: folders and binders and other loose papers in your arms.

you catch jay looking at you, a pensive look on his face. you stop as you're grabbing your reusable coffee jug.

"no," you deadpan. "not me."

jay's eyes widen, as if realizing he'd said something without really saying anything.

"i—no, wait—i mean...," jay stutters, ears quickly turning red.

you smile, patting jay's shoulder reassuringly. "in case you were thinking about it."

jay's mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water and you can't help but laugh.

"these are desperate times, but i'm hoping it's not too desperate," you add. without waiting for a response, you turn towards the door, already making your way to it.

"besides, dr. isa lee seems more your type," you say over your shoulder one last time before pushing the door open and stepping out into the hallway.

---

"hey."

you look up from the microscope, tearing your attention away from the specimen you were examining. your eyes readjust to their normal focal length as a tall figure enters the lab, perfectly crisp white coat hanging off his broad shoulders, thin-wired spectacles resting on the bridge of his tall, straight nose. your lips feel strangely parched as he makes direct eye contact with you and you're left with no choice but to moisten them with your tongue.

"oh hi, dr. yang."

the other scientist chuckles, setting down a stack of papers on a desk in the corner. "i've been here for three weeks. please, call me jungwon."

you swallow. "right. jungwon."

dr. jungwon yang was a new import from the seoul bunker, having come to your own area's bunker merely a few weeks prior. he was immediately put under your supervision, an addition to your already elite team of biologists, geneticists, and virologists. off the bat, you could tell he was a man of many talents, coming up with unconventional solutions and arriving at answers quicker than anyone else.

his presence in your lab made your heart swell. in pride, adoration, or desire, you're not quite sure.

"uh, yesterday's results are in that binder over there, in case you want to go over them," you begin. jungwon walks over to your side of the long table, peering over the slide loaded into the microscope.

ignoring the way he brushes ever so slightly against you, you continue. "the director's dropping by later this afternoon, but i wouldn't be too bothered with that. he's just looking for someone to blame for the slow progress at this point. if only they could get us those materials we asked for..."

"have you read the memo?" jungwon asks abruptly, straightening up. he towers over you, his eyes downcast as he stares at your face.

"of course, you've read the memo," jungwon corrects himself, chuckling. "what i meant was...what do you think of it?"

"it's a government-issued memo, it hardly matters what i think," you respond, focusing back on your work in front of you, although all you do is stare blankly at the moving microorganisms, mind unfocused with how much of jungwon's perfume you can smell.

"it's your reproductive health that's on the line. i'm pretty sure your opinion counts for something," jungwon says with a pinch in between his eyebrows.

oh, a feminist. that's even hotter.

"okay, yeah. i appreciate the new guidelines they put out," you admit, looking back up at jungwon. "though it's the bare minimum, i'm glad they're letting us keep the autonomy of choosing who to...boink."

jungwon laughs at that.

"and free fertility drugs for anyone who wants or needs it. oh, also, thank god they didn't have the brilliant idea of putting a time limit on it. having read some crazy speculative fiction myself, the things people are willing to do in fiction are crazy. who's to say they can't do the same in real life?" you continue.

you don't notice the way jungwon's smirk grows as he listens.

"kind of makes the whole thing unsexy, don't you think?" jungwon cuts in, raising an eyebrow. you blink, unsure of what he's talking about.

"i'm surprised they're not monitoring us with cameras and hooking us up to EKGs and shit," he adds.

"oh," you say with a soft giggle, finally catching on. "i'm sure some people are into being watched."

"are you?" jungwon asks.

"am i what?" you answer.

"into being watched."

a pause.

you shake your head. "how about you?"

"oh no," jungwon says. "i prefer to keep what's mine for my eyes only."

"hm. possessive. that's kind of sexy," you mumble under your breath, a sudden surge of confidence coursing through you.

jungwon just stares at you, but you can see his pupils dance in amusement, taking in your whole face and all your features. you might have imagined it but he seemed to have peeked down at your chest for a second.

"do you think it's attractive for someone to be into lego-building? or at least, used to be into it. i'd give an arm and a leg for a complete lego set nowadays," jungwon asks, leaning against the table, and only now do you notice the veins running over the back of his hands.

you think about whether his arms are just as veiny.

"do you think it's a good trait to pass on an offspring? lego-building, i mean," he presses on.

"uh, yeah. good problem-solving skills," you answer, humoring his question.

jungwon nods. "do you think leadership skills are important?"

you smile, leaning against the cabinet opposite jungwon. you nudge his foot lightly. "i lead a team of scientists myself. of course, i think leadership skills are important."

"you and i both," jungwon agrees.

jungwon shifts, placing his hands in the pockets of his lab coat.

"how about dimples? do you think dimples are cute?" jungwon asks once more, one corner of his mouth upturned. a deep crease on his cheek appears.

a dimple.

"very," you admit.

"i see."

there's a silence that stretches over the two of you, and the weight of uncertainty is daunting as you stare at a spot on jungwon's tie. finally, after a few seconds, you heave a sigh, unable to take the tension any longer.

"this is the weirdest way anyone has ever flirted with me," you declare, looking up at jungwon through your lashes. he's grinning and you nearly shiver at how utterly attractive you're finding him at this moment.

"but it's effective," jungwon says. that was a statement, not a question.

you tilt your head to the side. "how do you know?"

"because you would have blown me off two minutes ago if it wasn't," jungwon reasons, crossing his arms. by doing this, he just made himself appear even wider than he is.

"always so calculated," you say, impressed.

you stretch your neck, easing your head from side to side, watching as jungwon fixes his gaze on the taut tendons of your neck. "are you also this precise in bed, dr. yang?"

jungwon approaches, a large hand resting on your hip. "that's for you to find out."

your breath hitches as you feel his thumb rub through the fabric of your skirt.

"later?" he asks.

"my place or yours?" you reply, fingertips grazing the front of his polo. you can just about feel the slope and ridges of his toned muscles.

"i'd like to be a gentleman, so mine," jungwon offers. "i'll walk you back to your room after."

"i was kind of hoping i wouldn't need to walk back after," you say, a hint of teasing in your voice.

"is that a challenge?" jungwon says, his other hand pressing firmly on your lower back. he pulls you to him and your hands involuntarily reach out towards his shoulders to steady yourself.

a few seconds pass before any of you speak again.

"that's for you to find out," you say.

---

"kind of weird, isn't it?" jungwon asks, panting against your neck.

your back is pressed firmly against one wall of his sleeping quarters, a wide, loft-like room, similar to yours. a luxury offered only to level 10 government personnel, the room gives its occupants enough space and enough privacy.

and boy, did you need privacy.

"what's weird?" you say breathily, fingers threading through jungwon's hair as he kisses down the column of your neck. his fingers nimbly undo the buttons of your blouse and you whimper when you feel him lick at the valley between your breasts.

"coming up to coworkers or friends then asking them to reproduce with you," jungwon responds, tugging your blouse off of your shoulders.

(you both held enough respect for the institution that employed you both, so your work lab coats were neatly thrown over the back of jungwon's couch before anything got too frisky.)

"see, it's the way you say it that makes it weird," you giggle. you pull jungwon back up to your face, kissing him fervently, tongue licking into his mouth.

"oh yeah? how would you say it?" jungwon challenges as he pulls away slightly, his nose grazing your cheek. he licks a stripe on the underside of your jaw.

"please, jungwon," you whimper, playing up the whine in your voice just a little bit. "need you to knock me up. make me pregnant, please."

jungwon grunts in your ear, reaching behind you to rip the zipper of your skirt down. you let the fabric fall to the floor, stepping out of it quickly, revealing the matching red lace panties you had in tandem with your bra.

"yeah? want me to cum inside you so many times that there won't even be the tiniest chance that you're not pregnant?" jungwon says lowly, kneading one of your boobs in his hands.

you nod, hooking a leg around jungwon's hip, pushing your core right up against the bulge in his pants.

"yes," you breathe out, dragging your clothed pussy over his straining cock. "let's be good citizens and have a whole bunch of kids, yeah?"

jungwon chuckles, hands hurriedly working on his belt. you take this time to kiss up his neck, still rutting against him, desperate for any contact.

"come here," jungwon says through gritted teeth as his pants and boxers fall to the floor. he kicks them off unceremoniously, yanking you towards the couch. your eyes briefly catch the flash of white that were your lab coats.

the two of you fall onto the cushiony surface, with jungwon sitting up and you falling a little less gracefully on him. the two of you laugh as you adjust yourself, righting your posture so you could look at jungwon.

"take this off," jungwon commands, pulling at your panties. you swing off jungwon for a moment, pulling off the garment in record time. you reposition yourself over jungwon, his cock standing tall, hard, and painfully red.

"come on, show me how bad you want those kids," jungwon teases, tucking your hair behind your ear.

you roll your eyes. "you gotta help with the diapers."

a second later, you sink down on jungwon, moaning wantonly at how much he stretches you out, filling you up effortlessly. jungwon throws his head back, his bottom lip pinched between his teeth.

"i'll quit my fucking job at the lab if this is how good it feels to make babies with you," jungwon groans, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips.

you whimper at his words, rocking back and forth on his lap. you angle your hips a certain way, the tip of his cock kissing at just the perfect spot inside you. you shudder, repeating your movement.

"god, you feel amazing," jungwon praises. "so warm, so tight."

"yeah," you respond. you're gliding up and down his cock, swiveling your hips as fast as you can. you clench down around him, the thought of jungwon cumming inside you your only motivation.

"filling me up so good," you add, watching as jungwon screws his eyes shut, neck shiny with sweat.

you move forward, attaching your lips just below jungwon's ear. you suckle on the salty skin, running your tongue over the spot, savoring the way jungwon lets a moan rip out of him.

"gotta let the whole bunker know this one's mine," you whisper as you let up on jungwon's neck. a faint red spot is left in the wake of your lips on his skin.

in a blink of an eye, your whole world tumbles upside down, jungwon's hands forcing you down on the couch by your waist. in a daze, you realize that jungwon has you pinned under him, his eyes wild with a hungry look in them. he pushes your legs right up against your chest, lining himself up with your entrance.

"the moment you start showing, no one in this goddamn bunker will have a single doubt who gave you that baby," jungwon counters, thrusting into you. he gives you no time to adjust, picking up where you left off.

you cry out, trying to anchor yourself on anything your hands can find. eventually, you find purchase in jungwon's shoulders. he feels your nails digging in, and he mutters a soft 'fuck', speeding up his movements, the wet sounds of his skin slapping against yours so incredibly obscene in the confined space of his room.

"give it to me, please," you say, meeting jungwon's eyes as he continues to fuck into you. his forehead is creased, a look of concentration washing over his face.

"cum inside, fill me up as many times as you want, fuck it deep in me," you continue, cradling jungwon's face in your hands, the tender gesture a contrast to how rough he's bein.

"god," jungwon groans, voice breaking at the end as he speeds up, but then he halts abruptly, his mouth hanging open in a silent moan. you feel him twitch inside you and you gasp, clenching down as hard as you can.

"fuck, yes, milk it all out," jungwon says. he starts to thrust up into you again, watching as his cock is slowly coated with his cum spreading all over your cushy walls.

you whine, your fingers finding their way down to your cunt, your middle and ring finger pressing onto your clit. you rub at it ferociously, the idea of jungwon's sticky release inside of you turning you on impossibly.

"i'm getting hard again, jesus christ," jungwon complains but his movements don't cease. he's shaking from the overstimulation but he wraps his arms around you, pulling your limp form up against him.

"rub that pretty pussy for me, babe," jungwon requests, thrusting up into you shallowly.

"make yourself cum while i fill you up for a second time."

---

"so?"

you jump a little at the sudden intrusion. you look up at jungwon through both of your reflections in your bathroom mirror. three pregnancy tests lie in a neat line on the edge of the sink.

"i just started the timer, jungwon," you reply with a laugh. jungwon turns you around to face him, kissing you briefly.

"hm," you say, looking up at jungwon questioningly. "you never kiss me unless you want something."

"well," jungwon begins, hands slipping under your sweater. "we can always kill time while we wait for the results."

you shake your head, but you're already pressing yourself up against jungwon. "you're insatiable, dr. yang."

jungwon winks at you, undoing your bra under your shirt. "you know it."

"plus, you just look too good in this damn lab coat."

[eamour]

about negative thoughts.

"it is so hard to remain in my desired state and feel convinced… i keep having negative thoughts that pop out of the blue and just completely throw me off. i feel irritated, confused and i wonder if i'm truly living in the end. what do i do? how do i flip every thought? am even i doing this right?"

let’s talk about it!

thoughts and states.

in my latest post "dominant thoughts and dwelling states" or my "states" post, i have already talked about what states and thoughts are, how they "function" and what the difference between the two is. here is a short summary:

thoughts come from your state.

your dominant thoughts give insight to your state.

your dominant thoughts equal your dwelling state.

intrusive thoughts, as long as not identified with, don’t manifest.

your state manifests, not your single thoughts.

you are not your state, you are your "i am".

there is an infinite number of states.

you enter and exit states all day long.

now, you know that thoughts can only manifest if you assume them to be true, making them your dwelling state. but even if you know all of this, it still may not stop you from having undesirable thoughts here and there. so, how do we deal with them?

about all thoughts.

now, let's take a look at the characteristics of thoughts.

all thoughts are neutral. negative thoughts, just like positive ones, don’t have any meaning pre-assigned to them. they are all neutral until you categorise them to positive or negative. meaning, they are the exact same.

… therefore, thoughts don’t hold any power. thoughts don’t have any truth attached to them. no state has. because you are not your state. you are your i am. you decide what’s truthful to you or not, which state you want to occupy and which thoughts you want to have. your thoughts look at YOU for validation.

all thoughts are equal. because of that, negative thoughts aren’t easier to manifest than positive ones. all thoughts hold the same "value" or no value at all. they are all equally easy to manifest.

all thoughts are temporary. and thus, all states are as well. especially intrusive thought’s come from a place of fear, uncertainty and insecurity. who is feeling all those? who is controlling all those? YOU. you are not as out of control as you may think. just like you can alter a thought, you can alter the very origin of it — your state. you dictate your state and your thoughts.

all thoughts are yours. imagination creates reality, meaning creation comes from you. all thoughts and furthermore all states stem from your own awareness. there is no need to feel intimidated by them!

step by step resolution.

1 · emotion · this is the first thing we will do whenever we have a very mean thought — so mean, it makes it hard for you to change it on the spot or ignore it: we let ourselves feel the way that thought makes us feel. some thoughts, you can choose not to absorb but rather observe. however, if you do absorb them (which can definitely happen), make sure to embrace them. let out all the emotions they make you feel. express them. talk to a friend, scream into the void, bawl out your eyes… whatever helps your nervous system to relieve and regulate. you are not meant to internalise all that negativity.

2 · reflection · reflect on your unfavourable thoughts. ask yourself "is this thought helping me? do i want to continue thinking this? does this do me any good?". if yes, keep thinking it. if not, stop thinking it, forget it and correct it.

⋮ 2 · attention · some thoughts don’t need to be corrected for them to not affect you negatively. some of them can be entirely ignored and disregarded. not every little thought needs to be investigated. you don’t need to monitor every thought of yours. let them pass you by. don’t assign any meaning to them. renounce them. learn to be indifferent to certain thoughts. take your attention away from them. sometimes, that's enough. because some thoughts need to be dealt with a certain level of neglect. otherwise you will only drive yourself insane. ⋮

3 · identification · realise where the thought is coming from. most likely, it’s coming from your limited human self. but you are your unbounded god self. return to it! you have what you want and you are who you want to be. stop contemplating on your unwanted circumstances and focus on your end. continue to live from there. don’t just think of it, embody it. fully claim it. it’s your end. your reality. change the direction of your thoughts and remind yourself of your actual identity — GOD.

in short, feel your emotions, reflect on your thoughts, abandon negative thoughts, declare them as wrong and replace them with positive ones, remember your desired version of self, embody it and persist.

important.

before you go, there is one last thing i want to touch on. changing your thoughts, distancing yourself from unfavourable situations and trying to persist while feeling triggered by something external… can be very challenging. what i mean is, it takes determination, dedication and discipline. you need to be courageous and eager enough to make tough decisions, to choose your ending of the story and side with YOURself, even when you actually want to. but it’s possible. it’s attainable. it’s doable. you know what you want and you are going to continue to live your truth, with conviction and commitment!

you will do it. and you will succeed.

with love, ella.

[01zfan]

trigger finger | j. sc

boyfriend!sungchan x fem. reader | 4.5k words

contains: rough sex ???, unprotected sex, semi public

sungchan was patient. he was kind. he never raised his voice at anyone or lashed out. it took him awhile to become this way, so even keeled and calm. a majority of his late teens and early twenties was dedicated to taming his turbulent emotions and occasional outbursts. after years of learning to regulate all of his feelings he had become a person who could approach any situation with a balanced mind. 

he had channeled ebullient emotions into sports and working out. he figured if he could control his body to score a goal or hit a new max weight that same control could be transferred to his mind. because sungchan followed this mentality, by the time he had turned twenty his body and temperament had completely changed. he got compliments now not only about his height but his build too, people who knew him in his teens exclaiming how “different” he was compared to back then. sungchan learned by the time he was twenty one that they were trying to subtly mention how well adjusted he had become. sungchan was no longer the stubborn kid that would defy teachers and roll his eyes at his parents. he was a gentleman—one that held doors open even if ten people had to come through, one that removed his hat indoors and always volunteered to get the short end of the stick. he ate the figurative shit the world threw at him with a smile on his face; he took it as penance for the little demon he was growing up.

sungchan believes that’s what drew you to him. sungchan was twenty two now, so used to the being pleasant it became an intrinsic part of who he was. it was an automatic reaction for sungchan to meet your teasing words with a smile, a smile you found yourself falling for easily. if you were fire sungchan was water, if you were the pull he was the push, and the give to your take. 

you found out quickly that sungchan was a good boyfriend and an even a better person. it came out in every aspect of the relationship. he was unfazed by your guy friends that seemed nervous around him. he was friendly to almost every girl, letting them down easy anytime they tried to make an advance. he never responded to you when you tried to pick an argument or instigate a screaming match. sungchan would always grab your hands in his and urge you to sit down and “talk it out with him”. he was the type of person you needed in your life but it irked you to no end how pacific he was. you wanted to believe it was a facade, that sungchan felt negative emotions as strongly as you did. you were grateful to date someone who didn’t have a short fuse, but you started to find it alarming that he seemingly had no fuse at all. 

even in the four walls of your bedroom underneath the safety of the sheets sungchan was never anything less than sweet. he was a fast learner after you showed him how to treat you in bed and what you liked, but beyond that there was nothing. sungchan never bossed you around, never dared to put a pushy hand on your head. he never continued after you came once, and absolutely refused to act on his own selfish needs. everything was about you and you hated how much you hated it. you often recalled you being in the heat of the moment and telling sungchan breathlessly that he could do whatever he wanted to you. the only thing that came from your confession was sungchan finishing inside of you, a kink he told you about sheepishly after the fact. it was everything you wanted but so short lived. it was the only time you saw sungchan be even remotely self-serving. you found yourself rewinding the way he moaned “fucking take it” into your ear as you clenched around him before his hips stilled inside of you. your whiny sounds of approval and surprise didn’t influence sungchan to continue being dominant in bed, in fact it took him almost two days afterwards to initiate sex with you. and with a boyfriend like sungchan, two days felt like a century. 

the next time you two had sex it was the normally scheduled program, sungchan finishing in a condom while he kissed your forehead. you sat next to him leaned up against the headboard as he rubbed out your unexercised muscles. you looked down at your sweet boyfriend with his doe eyes and secretly made it your mission to bring out the other side of him.

that’s why you were at this party, dancing on a dining table surrounded by men you didn’t know. you always had fun at the gatherings that evolve to parties, feeling safe to be unhinged knowing your doting boyfriend with water in his red solo cup was watching you from across the room. this was unlike you though. you weren’t the type to be on the tables or start borderline flirting with random men. but you felt your unofficial bodyguards’ eyes on you after you evaded his very obvious hints that it was time to go home. the fleeting looks you spared towards sungchan egged you on, and you could see his look become more and more agitated throughout the night. when you snuck away from him while he was distracted by a friend you knew that if he saw you in your current state he would have to snap.

sungchan didn’t like parties too much, so he would stick to the walls and casual conversations with the people he knew that would be there. his main job every party he went to was to keep an eye on you, letting you have your fun while he kept you safe. you and sungchan had a unspoken rule though, that he would stay at the party and let you enjoy yourself only for as long as he allowed. he would come up to you when the party was winding down or if you looked bored and say something along the lines of “don’t you have an early morning tomorrow?”, “it’s getting kind of late”, or “do you want to go eat?” when sungchan said those words he knew that you knew it was time to go. so it was beyond sungchan why he had exhausted all those phrases and you were both still here. 

he had already had a long day at work when you told him there was a gathering you were going to and you wanted him to come along. he had no idea how defiant you would be at this gathering, or how the gathering was actually a party. sungchan felt his body tense up the more he thought about the day he had and the night you were subjecting him to. he saw you get too close with some men while they chatted you and your girl friend up, saw you grab another mans arm and squeeze before casting a glance to him. sungchan had to take deep breaths to keep him from crushing the life out of the cup in his hand. 

he almost got you to leave when you gravitated towards the makeshift bar in the kitchen. he saw you mindlessly fiddling with the empty bottles of dark liquor, almost like you were waiting for him to approach you. before sungchan could put on his most stern voice and tell you it was time to go, his friend shotaro distracted him.

“sungchan!” shotaro exclaimed. 

sungchan turned away from you only for a moment to greet his friend. they saw eachother at work not even three hours earlier, sungchan noticed that shotaro had simply thrown on a leather jacket over his work uniform. 

“what are you doing at this party?” shotaro asked.

sungchan had to lean in to yell into shotaro’s ear over the music, the dimly lit room made sungchan think he was yelling into his friends hair. 

“i’m here with my girlfriend. we are about to leave though.” sungchan said.

calling you his girlfriend was the most possessive he ever let himself get. he liked the way the phrase rolled off his tongue, or the look of acknowledgment on people’s faces when he said it paired with him putting a hand on your hip. when sungchan turned around to touch you, he saw that you were no longer there. 

he quickly peered over the crowd, using the height advantage he had on a majority of the partygoers to find your face. it turns out he was looking too low, not noticing you until shotaro let out a sound of surprise.

“isn’t that your girl on the table?” shotaro said. 

shotaro pointed the same hand that was holding the beer towards your dancing body. sungchan was speechless as he saw you swaying and turning on top of the table, giving the men that were circling you earlier like a shark a show. when your eyes locked with his and your movements didn’t cease sungchan instantly felt adrenaline course through his veins.

he left shotaro without saying goodbye, walking through the sea of people straight for you. you kept your eyes locked on sungchan the whole time, a sly smile coming across your features as he stood in front of you.

you looked down at sungchan as he stared up at you. you could tell that he was trying to actively calm himself down, trying to repress the sungchan that you wanted let out.

“we’re leaving.” he said sternly.

this was the most authoritative you had ever heard him. people around him moved their bodies to the music, bumping into sungchan. you could tell that he was mad because his body didn’t budge to the people colliding with him. you continue to smile as sungchan reached out a chivalrous hand to guide you down from the table—one that you ignored while you continue to dance.

“i’m finally taller than you.” you joke.

this was the breaking point for sungchan. you can see your boyfriend’s body physically tense and his eyes widen. for a split second you smiled, seeing sungchan’s unbounded emotion. this only lasted for a second before your smile was replaced with a surprised gasp as sungchan used the same hand to wrap around your waist and bring you to the edge of the table. 

he put your body over his shoulder with ease, a single arm locking your legs in place. you could feel the plush of your thighs squish together as you kick your feet in surprise and prop your hands on his lower back to try and keep yourself upright. some people laughed and others cheered for you, but most of them go back to dancing as if nothing happened. you can feel sungchan place a hand on your lower part of your dress, pulling down the fabric so it covered the swell of your ass. 

sungchan is silent as he walks you through the house. it’s almost humiliating, being paraded around a crowded house party for everyone to see. in a weird twisted way you like it, indirectly showing off your boyfriends strength and your ability to push his buttons. you don’t know if sungchan knew how possessive he seems in this moment, showing everyone at the party that you’re his. it had been a whole night in the making, you have never worked so hard in your life. you hope it’s all paid off when sungchan carries you upstairs, using his long legs to clear two steps at a time.

once you’re in a quieter part of the house, walking down the corridor of closed doors you try to be as fake bossy as possible.

“put me down!” you grumble. 

you’re putting on a show now, your own facade of the irritated girlfriend. you lightly hit sungchan’s back as he checks each door in the hallway, seeing which knob will turn. he moves his body around, not taking into account your upper body whips back and forth from the momentum.

“sungchan i’m serious.” you say. 

still no response. you pray that a door will open up soon as you continue to whine in his grasp. you pray he can’t hear the smile in your voice as you struggle a little bit more in his hold.

“i wanna go back and dance.” you whine.

you hear the slap before you feel it on your skin. it hits you suddenly, like a lightning strike. it’s at the speed of light, sungchan’s large hand smacking where your thigh turns into your ass. it’s such a hard slap that it sounds all the way down the corridor and has you jolting forward in his hold. the pain flashing takes you by surprise, making you yell out loud.

“be quiet.” sungchan says.

his tone is even but assertive, and for the first time in your life you feel like you have bitten off more than you can chew. you obey him immediately, holding back all the other taunts you had floating around in your head. somehow hearing sungchan have an even tone in this situation is scarier than him raising his voice. the smack still stings on your skin as a doorknob finally turns for sungchan, revealing an empty room.

sungchan makes it to the bed in just two strides and wastes no time launching your body to the center. you are jostled and caught off guard as your ass lands first, momentum forcing you to land on your elbows for support.

you’re forced to look up at sungchan as he stands next to the bed. you are in a risqué position to say the least, your dress had ridden up well past your thighs to sit bunched up at your stomach. your knees closed together are the other thing hiding your core from sungchan’s piercing glare. you didn’t think your boyfriend was capable of looking at someone so intensely, his eyes felt like they were burning holes into your skin. when you were in this position with sungchan, it was usually you beckoning sungchan towards you with a finger while you slowly spread your legs. but now you looked up to him waiting for his next move or next order, his previous command and the thrill that followed still ringing in your ears and on the back of your thighs.

sungchan turns his back to you to go to the door, you follow him carefully. you watch him slowly close the door and hear the familiar sound of a lock clicking. while sungchan’s back is turned you quickly straighten your dress and quickly pat down your mussed hair, trying to seem as appealing as possible.

when sungchan comes back to his previous spot next to the bed you try to figure out what this new sungchan is going to do. you open your mouth and sungchan puts a finger up. you bite your lip to stop yourself instantly. his hands go to his hips and he starts breathing heavy even breaths. the anticipation makes you want to squirm. you have to use your last ounce of self control to keep yourself still.

“what do you want from me?” sungchan asks. 

the question catches you off guard. your hand that was playfully tracing shapes over your dress stills.

“what do you mean—” you start.

“do you want me to be mean? yell at you because you flirt with some guys?” sungchan asks.

you think that you’re about to get lectured before you see sungchan take off his jacket. when he throws it to the floor you watch him carefully, not sure what’s going to happen next. when his hands slowly reach for the buttons on his pants you can’t help smiling from excitement, hands going to the bottom of your dress. 

“i’m better than that.” sungchan says matter-of-factly.

you shimmy out of your dress, getting it halfway off before sungchan helps you the rest of the way. he throws the garment to the side carelessly before roughly pushing you down on the bed. you are nothing against his strength, your body hitting the mattress with a dull thud. sungchan crawls on the bed to rest on the back of his legs in front of you, his bottom half completely bare. your eyes are locked in on his dick as it twitches in the cold air of the room.

“if you want it like that so bad i can give it to you like that.” sungchan says.

you look your boyfriend in the eyes and nod your head, lifting your hips so he can roughly slide your underwear down your legs.

sungchan has a hand on your knees before pushing it the opposite way, telling you to put yourself on view for him. you oblige, spreading your legs as far as they will go.

“what was the food we shared on our first date?” sungchan asks.

you try to think of the answer as you see a large glob of spit leave sungchan’s mouth to drop on his dick. you see him pump his length a few times before looking at you, raising his eyebrows to indicate impatience.

“uhm. popcorn?” you guess. 

it was hard to think anything in this position, but you know you got the answer right when sungchan nods his head and moves forward on his knees to slot himself between your legs.

“say that if it gets to be too much.” sungchan says.

before you can say okay, sungchan fully pushes his length inside of you. the anticipation coats your walls, that aided with sungchan’s lubricant helps him slide in easily. your pussy clenches around him, sungchan is already hissing at how your practically sucking him in.

sungchan puts both hands on the back of your thighs and pushes them to your chest, loving the way you whine underneath the stretch.

“you just wanna get fucked so bad.” sungchan exasperates. 

he’s captivated by the way you dumbly nod your head, so desperate to be mocked. it almost makes sungchan want to withhold the side of him that wants to fuck you into the sheets. maybe he should be gentle with you and edge you until you’re crying in missionary. but sungchan thinks he’ll let out the possessive, jealous, and mean side of him he’s spent all this time taming. he presses your thighs even closer before leaning his head over yours. his bangs graze your forehead as he looks you dead in your hooded eyes.

“you just want me to fuck you the way you deserve?” sungchan asks.

you would say yes but sungchan moves his fingers into your mouth. his digits press down so heavily on your tongue it comes out gargled, spit dribbling down your chin as he continues to thrust into you.

“i get jealous baby i just hide it well.” sungchan says. 

your eyes get wide as you realize sungchan found out about your little mission. he smiles at your expression, fingers pressing down with a force that almost makes you gag.

“everyone wants a piece of you. drives me fucking crazy.” he says.

you moan in response, you don’t know how sungchan is able to keep his voice and words even while dragging his dick along your walls. his demeanor makes you clench around him without meaning to.

“wanna keep you...” sungchan has to look up at the ceiling to stop himself from moaning. “locked in a box sometimes. i’m crazy right?” sungchan asks rhetorically.

you wish you had known about this sungchan long ago. you would’ve done this way sooner if you had known this is what he was hiding from you. you work around sungchan’s fingers in your mouth to try and beg him to go faster.

“faster? i like going slow though.” sungchan fake pouts. he purposely slows his hips even more, dragging his tip along your folds before pushing back in. “because i know you hate it.” he smirks.

sungchan sits up a little to be perpendicular to your body, putting your calfs on his shoulders. the same arm that locked your thighs in place on his back straighten your legs, making you moan from another stretch. sungchan fucks you in this new position, moving his head to bit and suck on your ankles.

he thrusts into you with such a force that it makes your tits gyrate. sungchan is locked in on them, using his large hand to cup your breast. he roughly pinches your nipple, rolling the bud between his index finger and thumb. the extra stimulation and the pain has tears prickling your vision and has your skin prickling with electricity.

“already?” sungchan asks.

he can tell by the way your eyebrows furrow and legs spread that you’re close.

“just from this?” sungchan asks again. 

his pace doesn’t change, keeping his tempo as he sees your face contort in pleasure. sungchan smiles and moves his hand that was kneading your chest down to your clit.

“you’re too fucking impatient, didn’t even know you liked it slow.”

“me neither.” you say. 

your attempt at trying to sound as calm as sungchan fails miserably, you sound meek and whiny as you try to even your tone. sungchan laughs at your feeble attempt, hand that locks your thigh in place going to your cheek quickly to pinch the fat.

“you have no control.” sungchan says. his hand speeds up the revolutions on your clit. ”just let it out baby.”

that’s all you need to hear as you spasm around sungchan’s dick. you slick makes gives his thrusts new lubrication, helping him throughly fuck you through your orgasm. sungchan coos in response to your whines and says your name back to you when his falls from your lips.

you had come down from your high a long time ago, being driven to insanity solely off of sungchan teasing you. you start to squirm against him, trying to push your hips forward to suppress the stimulation. you see sungchan smirk before he flips you over, your face pressing into the sweaty indent of the mattress. 

sungchan uses a hand to push your stomach flat to the bed and spread your cheeks simultaneously. the sudden change in position has you going crazy. you swear you can feel sungchan in your stomach as he presses his sweaty chest to your back. he sucks and bites on the skin of your neck, not pulling away until you cry out from the feeling.

“not done yet.” sungchan whispers against the shell of your ear.

he traces the outline of your ear before taking your earlobe into his mouth. you have never felt all of these sensations at once. usually it was one or the other, sungchan was careful with how much he gave you in bed. if he had you in the prone bone position he was careful to not give you his full length, if he was inside you he usually only paired it with kisses on the lips, and he had never took the risk to overstimulate you. but now sungchan pounded into you mercilessly, leaving bruises on your neck and ass due to the way he was holding you. your subsiding orgasm was building back over your body and it left you like putty, your ass turning to jelly as sungchan fucked you in a faster pace. 

“you like this don’t you?” sungchan teased. “when i just use you?”

sungchan’s fingers were no longer in your mouth but still spit dribbled from your mouth and words were caught in your throat. whatever you said was intelligible, a string of broken words and moans that couldn’t be deciphered. sungchan still cooed anyway like you understood you, placing a sweet kiss to your cheeks as he lifted his body up.

“now you have nothing to say?” sungchan asks.

sungchan’s speed picked up when he raised his body, and his hand went to rest beside your head. you brought your hand to clasp around his wrist, nails digging into his skin as you felt him go a little deeper inside of you. having something to sink your nails into let you gain your bearings enough to speak in between his thrusts.

“i’m gonna—” you mumbled.

“this pussy is mine right?” sungchan said.

he still had that venom laced in his voice, but it came out airy. he was close, maybe even closer than you were.

“all yours.” you cried out.

your walls spasmed around sungchan’s dick as he pressed down into your again, spreading your folds with a single hand to reach deeper than he did before. sungchan finished while buried deep inside of you, a stop he knew no other man would ever be able to reach. you made sounds he had never heard from you before, your usually controlled moans turning into high pitched whimpers and begs. sungchan gave you what you were begging for when he pulled out just a little to push right back in, feeling a little bit of his cum seep out of you.

your high pitched moans drowned down to you repeating his name over and over again in a quiet voice. sungchan kissed you cheek and pulled out, standing up from the bed to take in the sight of you all fucked out and pliant on the mattress. he could see some of his cum leak out of you, a pool of drool making the sheets around your mouth dark. sungchan wishes he could take a picture to show the next man that ever looked in your direction, or show you the next time you got mouthy. he settles for turning you to your back and kissing your lips. 

you are still so fucked out your actions are delayed, behind the rhythm of sungchan’s lips by a beat. the only thing that brings you out of your trance is the feeling of sungchan’s fingers pushing his cum back into your slit, the extra lubrication making a lewd squelching sound. you can feel hot tears come down your face and sungchan kisses them away, retreating his fingers when a majority of it is back inside of you.

“i’ll be right back baby. don’t move.” sungchan whispers.

even if you wanted to move you doubt you could, your body shakes and your muscles ache at even the thought of lifting a finger. 

sungchan comes back to the room just as fast as he leaves, holding a warm wet rag and a dry one. sungchan cleans you up and pats off your sweat, helping you back into your clothes and pulling you up from the bed. it all happens in a haze, paying attention to sungchan’s words of praise that comes out in droves. before you know it you are standing on shaky legs. sungchan looks at your state and laughs at you, poking your sides. you swat his hand before giving him your meanest look, one that definitely has much less bite after the events that just transpired. sungchan still puts his hands up in defense before kissing your forehead.

“there’s my girl.”

[funfettifrills]

♣️; caregiver! husk x kid/agere! reader [headcanons]

[all platonic] + my inbox is open for reqs!

♡ʚ⁺˖↪husk is canonically good with kids!! He would be great at taking care of you !!

♡ʚ⁺˖↪ initially, husk keeps up his grumpy self around you

♡ʚ⁺˖↪but you find yourself enjoying being around him, to you he's a silly little kitty !!

♡ʚ⁺˖↪ he notices you will sit by him or stay in the same room as him, and he doesn't mind at all

♡ʚ⁺˖↪ at first you're a bit shy, but he tries initiating conversations with you and you happily speak to him a bunch!!

♡ʚ⁺˖↪ Once your wall of shyness is broken down, you'll find yourself sitting at the bar and info dumping to him about things you like or just your day in general

♡ʚ⁺˖↪He doesn't say much, but he always listens with a small smile on his face while he tends to his bartending tasks

♡ʚ⁺˖↪he has a huge soft spot for you, that he'd deny at first but everyone else at the hotel would clearly notice it

♡ʚ⁺˖↪whenever you go out, he starts going with you. He really wants you to be safe, even if you're in hell

♡ʚ⁺˖↪since you obviously wouldn't be drinking any alcohol, husk starts keeping things like juice at the bar just for you!! He even gets sippy cups !!

♡ʚ⁺˖↪even though he doesn't enjoy being a cat, you can't help but call him "kitty."

♡ʚ⁺˖↪ Sometimes, when you want his attention, you'll babble a bit and call out "kitty!"

♡ʚ⁺˖↪if anyone else would call him kitty, he would be sooo livid

♡ʚ⁺˖↪but he loves you and knows you mean no harm, he finds it endearing!!

♡ʚ⁺˖↪his default nicknames for you are just 'kid' or 'kiddo'

♡ʚ⁺˖↪he lets you play with his tail !! He just sits nonchalantly as you do it, and the others in the hotel watch in awe over how comfortable Husk is with you

♡ʚ⁺˖↪even if he has a soft spot for you, he's still husk so he's a very patient caregiver but also very stern when he needs to be

♡ʚ⁺˖↪if you get bratty or fussy, he won't hesitate to get you to behave, and he's very effective at it while not being tooooo harsh

♡ʚ⁺˖↪since he loves sleeping, when it's nap time he'll join you sometimes!!

♡ʚ⁺˖↪he's very comfy to snuggle with cause his fur is surprisingly soft

♡ʚ⁺˖↪as you two sleep, he holds you so gently

♡ʚ⁺˖↪He purrs during these naps too and its silly to feel the vibrations

♡ʚ⁺˖↪whenever you'd be overwhelmed and in tears, he had struggled to deal with it at first because he was intimidated

♡ʚ⁺˖↪Over time, he had learned how to handle those moments with ease and will hold you in his lap as you regulate yourself

♡ʚ⁺˖↪Depending on the severity of your emotions, he'll start doing magic tricks to distract you, and it's effective for calming you down

♡ʚ⁺˖↪he struggles with low self-esteem, so he questions whether he's good enough to be taking care of you (he is much more than good enough!!)

♡ʚ⁺˖↪you're happiest and comfiest with him, sometimes you cling onto his legs as he does random tasks and he just goes on as normal

♡ʚ⁺˖↪before he had gotten onto better terms with Angel, he'd tried to keep you away from him

♡ʚ⁺˖↪But afterward, you become close with Angel as well, and he thinks you're the cutest ever !!!

♡ʚ⁺˖↪you and Angel sit at the bar, with you in his lap, and have silly conversations with Husk

♡ʚ⁺˖↪Angel goes insane hearing you get to freely call Husk "kitty"

♡ʚ⁺˖↪ And Angel teases Husk over how soft he's gotten for you, Husk gets embarrassed in response

"Ya' let the kid call you 'kitty?' Why can't I do that too?"

"You are a GROWN man. There's no reason for you to call me that."

"You're just turning into a big softie, ya know?"

"..."

♡ʚ⁺˖↪don't even get me started on how adamant Husk would be to keep you away from Alastor

♡ʚ⁺˖↪but Alastor does find a way to get your attention, much to Husk's dismay...

♡ʚ⁺˖↪he'll find Alastor playing you, and you giggling along, which leaves Husk horrified

♡ʚ⁺˖↪he is really dedicated to keeping you safe from anything that'd cause you harm!!

♡ʚ⁺˖↪and he truly wants you to be redeemed, he knows you don't deserve to be in Hell

♡ʚ⁺˖↪overall, he adores you a bunch and would probably kill for you!!!!!!

[sapphic-agent]

So. I finally read this fuckass comic that's been talked about again recently. I'd only ever heard about it before so I decided to check it out. I'm gonna go through some of the pages and give my two cents because why not?

I'm not gonna lie to you guys, I don't get how Katara is "out of character" here. This is very reminiscent of Book 1 Katara, who was playful and teasing and immature and acted like, y'know, a kid. I know Bryke might have you thinking otherwise, but she shouldn't baby Aang all the time.

Especially because he is supposed to be practicing and just... isn't doing it. This was her way of lightheartedly trying to motivate him, which I think is pretty on brand for her.

You could make the argument that Katara is being dismissive here, but honestly? The subject clearly makes her uncomfortable. She was kissed (without consent) before a major battle by someone she saw as a friend. Of course she was uncomfortable. She has every right to not want to talk about or acknowledge it.

Calling that out of character is not doing Kataang shippers any favors when the most common criticism against them is their tendency to brush aside Katara's autonomy.

(At first when I saw this panel, I thought maybe she was being a little abrasive towards him. But... She's the same way with Toph in The Runaway. This isn't behavior that came out of nowhere. Why is it that it's only a problem when it comes to Aang?)

I guess a better question here is, is Aang out of character? For me, it's actually yes and no.

I think they made him overly mopey. Like yes, he's had his moments in the show, but drawing hearts in the dirt? What kind of shit is this??

Not to mention his weird little monologue inside the rock ("Who's really playing games here, Katara?" Are you actually serious, Bryke? Idc what anyone says, those words would never leave Aang's mouth). It feels like a bid to make him more sympathetic so that the reader feels bad for him. I'm fine labeling that OOC.

However...

Do I think Aang would purposely physically hurt Katara? No. Do I think Aang would get so caught up in his emotions that he stops being mindful of himself and his surroundings? Well.

Both times you could label an accident. But both times resulted from Aang being careless and being unable to regulate himself. Now, you could make the argument that this is OOC because Aang learned and developed past this point. And I would agree, if we were talking about Book 2 Aang or even mid to late Book 1 Aang.

But honestly, character regression is very on point for Book 3 Aang. Especially post DOBS. Most of you already know about my beef with Book 3 Aang, so I won't get into that.

Now, I do think that Aang would be a little more apologetic and guilty considering how regretful he was in Book 1. But him prioritizing his own feelings instead of how he affected her? Completely on-brand. In EIP he was upset about how he messed up his chances with Katara, not that he kissed her without consent and upset her.

But even if this couldn't fit Katara and Aang as characters, even if they were outlandishly OOC and completely different from the characters we knew, that doesn't really matter. This comic is official and canon. Just like the comics where Aang ignores her in favor of his weird fanclub and she swallows her hurt and puts up with it. Just like LOK where Aang is a neglectful father and Katara is a mild mannered housewife.

You can dislike this comic and criticize its portrayals all you want. But it's still canon. You can't ignore canon, especially when your main argument for Kataang being better than Zutara is that it's canon

[i-yap]

What if you do angst x fluff? where Jason Todd fights with Y/n, had he just fought with Dick or something and he accidentally hurt his girlfriend? 👿 I like this dynamic, but I want it to be a real fight, you know? he enters a PSTD.

Im gonna do headcanons , warning( check the request)

Jason todd x y/n - he hurts her

out of all batboys he is most likely to lash out in aggression, by a landslide actually, especially fresh out the pit jason/ nightmare jason/ jealous jason.

He is also very very hard on himself about it.

Lets be honest here, this dude grew up on the streets , was trained to be a vigilante , got tortured, died, blah blah. He doesn't know how to control or regulate his emotions at all. He was never taught how to and the pit rage still is a part of him. He is really broken and so its very likely he lashes out

He is also very very insecure, he gets all in his head and he just cant control it and pushes people away.

You make him believe he can be better, that he deserves love and that you get what he is going through. Early on in the relationship he would just leave and not come back for weeks out of guilt.

once you convinced him to not leave and explained how much it hurt you, and once he explained how much at risk you could be but you accept the risk- after a very long discussion he learns to stay.

later on in the relationship he does overcome his insecurities and lashes out much less, so for him to actually physically lash out on you could only be one cause.

You betray him. He is either very jealous, maybe you have a childhood guy friend you refuse to leave. or maybe its a very hot coworker you refuse to stay away from in the name of professionalism. Or maybe jason just had an encounter with his past tormentors and they said something that got to him head and then he sees you laughing at the joke of your cute neighbour with the dog that likes you too much.

Now he is yelling and you're aggravating the situation. you had a bad day at work, and though you're usually calm and understanding , since you know what he has gone through, but you were just so annoyed that day or had a bad day yourself.

So when you start yelling back at him, he smashes a vase against the wall away from you. what he did not calculate was how the glass shard could fly and hit/scratch w2 you right in the arm. the second he sees you injured time stops

He crumbles, literally . crawls to you sobbing, hyperventilating - he might have a sezuire. this was his literal worst nightmare, and now its happened. you know he wasn't aiming the vase at you. you could either immediately realize or storm off and lock your bedroom, in the latter case he lies on the ground in front of the door the whole night sobbing out how sorry he is.

But if you comfort him and tell him its okay, he will just hold onto you and cry.

it takes him a while to forgive himself( a long while) so rough sex is gone, play fighting also gone. he goes silent , withdrawn almost depressed. You need to be patient, let him understand he didn't do it on purpose and this changes nothing in your relationship.

overtime things go back to normal, but he refuses to fight with you. He wont do it ever, he will leave , not for weeks but he will never put you to risk again. its like the cycle restarts and it takes him a while for him to trust himself around you when he's mad.

the thing here is, and stop reading the fic if you want to remain delulu (cuz I do too)

jason had a shitty past, he is not gonna be a perfect partner. he is going to be complicated and difficult to be with and you really cant expect anything else. it is very possible he straight up slaps you and then runs away to space for a month and then turns up on your doorsteps sobbing. He will often moan and cry about his past to you, bring it up often, often ruin the mood. He wont let you get a propers night sleep or let you have guy frnds and that an get annoying. ofcourse with love commitment and communication it could hcnage but you do at least for a while have to deal with that. No one expects you to clean up your lovers mess. this is only fiction and should not be romanticized. unless your irl partner died and was tortured for 2 yrs - you shouldn't deal with their shit. you have enough shit of your own to deal with

as a person who was with a guy who is depressed, I can tell you how hard this sort of relationship is. you sacrifice a lot. He developed depression one yr after we started dating, I left him 10 months after that. For 10 months I stayed with a guy who was cheating on me then calling em and crying about how "violated he felt" after consensually getting blojbs from random girls, randomly dissapearing for 4-5 days without a single text, who never wanted to talk anything about me not even for a minute, who couldn't listen to my problems but expected me to stay up 4 hours till like 6am even though I usually sleep at 11pm and then get up at 7am for practice. And I did it all, because he was depressed and I felt guilty about leaving him . But you need to prioritize yourself no matter how hot or broken a dude is. unlike jason, you can not "fix him".

[weebsinstash]

something that I think would be, truly one of the worst things about the yandere Batfamily really truly is their power to make any and every problem you've ever had completely go away in no time at all

it can be such an awful feeling to see that you struggled in vain with something that was nothing at all to someone else. You could have significant issues that have followed you all your life and have had traumatic impacting effects on you and these people could come in and sweep that all away. Student loans you've been paying off for years, if not a fraction of your lifespan, still burying you in debt? We are talking fucking decimal points on the scale of Bruce Wayne's wealth. That bad leg from an old work injury? Let's grab you one of the best doctors in Gotham, if not the entire world, fuck, we may even get you a doctor or medicine that isn't even human-made! Y'all want a magic leg? We know this chick who can speak backwards, you want a magically healed leg?

Crippling loneliness? Eternal sunshine and objectively best Robin Dick Grayson is here to brighten your entire world since he knows what it can feel like to be hurting and alone and he's literally like the heart and soul of the entire manor besides Alfred

Chronic pain, an undiagnosed disability, or maybe you're not confident in your fitness? Jason has extensive knowledge of injury recovery, physical therapy, and overall knowledge about human biology and musculature and how everything correlates

Family issues? Daddy issues? Let Resident Troubled Kid Expert Alfred Pennyworth be your new grandpa. He's dealt with more than one temperamental snappy individual, and he'll use his patience, experience, and wit to wear down all your stress and hostility. It's hard to keep being cruel to someone who's nothing but kind to you, and he has plenty of patience and delicious baked treats to hold out until you give in

Honestly just the fact most of them are so fucking young would get under my skin. You could be approaching your 30s and be sitting here at the Wayne family dinner table as their weird sister/mom/girlfriend/whatever and being all "I've just always had these struggles my entire life, I dont know what's wrong with me, I feel like I can't control how I act or feel and I hate it" and someone like Tim who depending on the source material and where you are on the timeline is a literal teenager with extensive knowledge of criminals and psychology is just over here, "oh, that? You have chronic childhood trauma, recurring resurfacing conflict related ptsd, severe abandonment issues, emotional regulation problems that are probably biological, and also you probably have autism, and there's nothing wrong with any of that :)" and then he turns to Bruce and starts talking about how his school is taking a trip abroad to Greece while you sit there processing that everyone around the table has extensively psychologically evaluated you and you probably have your own file on the Batcomputer (you do. It's excessive.)

It's just. The psychology of having all these problems you've struggled with be wiped away by someone else like it's nothing and how, that can result in making someone feel all the more worthless and helpless. Oh, Bruce was able to just make all your problems disappear? Clearly YOU weren't trying hard enough. Tim is able to suss out what's wrong with you? Well YOU'RE the dysfunctional idiot who was born wrong, and YOU were the one choosing the wrong doctors. You're watching all these young teenagers or young adults be vigilantes and travel the world and learn multiple languages and you're like. Normal guy Steve from the grocery store. You know? They take control of your life and make you feel like a side character in it, because everything you do is now attached to them, and all of them and all of their adventures are so... spectacular

And really, someone with a meaner heart, and maybe someone more blunt like, say, Damian, could perhaps come in and make some comment, "see? This is why you needed our assistance in caring for you" and what are you gonna do, NOT act like they basically fixed your entire life in less than a year's time, with the one objection of kidnapping and imprisonment? You're just over here, "um yeah, actually, I'm an adult and I can take care of myself, you don't need to TAKE CARE OF ME???" meanwhile Bruce and Alfred are exchanging knowing looks while you speak as if the old butler hadn't needed to help you call your doctor and other important urgent matters because being on the phone with strangers gave you such intense anxiety. Ok yes sure honey you are a lovely functional adult and your brain is big and beautiful and perfect 🥰 now shut up about going to live back home on your own, go play Xbox with your new brothers or go bake something with Grandpa while the world's greatest detective sits down in the Batcave using the Batcomputer to track down and "have a friendly chat" with that one childhood teacher that gave you that one really specific trauma-

[mattypattypinky]

Anxiety (Inside Out 2) Reassurance Headcannons

(romantic)

I feel like, if you were overthinking - For whatever reason, she'd stop everything to make sure her partner was okay.

She'd probably try to get you to take a nice, long breath in, then a nice long breath out.

As silly as it may seem, she'd emphasize how important it is to regulate your breathing when you're anxious. Theres no way you will gather any thoughts when they're all scrambled and racing around. She knows that more than anyone.

She'd probably try to get you into a state where you're at least comfortable enough to try to talk. If you can't talk, that's okay too! I feel like she'd try to get you comfortable though. Maybe crack a nervous joke, or offer to get you a drink.

She'd want you to be comfortable enough to confide, but not forcefully. She knows stress like the back of her hand, and I feel like she'd try to use strategies Joy has taught her to calm you down, such as offering you to sit in her own chair, and waiting for you to open up so she can properly talk you through your emotions one step at a time.

If you do, - once comfortable enough to talk, she'd be quiet and listen to all your worries and concerns. If anyone would know how an anxious thought feels and consumes you, it would be her. She wouldn't judge you for letting your thoughts get the best of you, as she knows just how hard it is to control them.

She would be very patient with you, and I feel like she'd be careful with her words. She wouldn't want you to take what she says in an emotional setting in the wrong way.

She would carefully, and tactfully unpack all of your worries, and use strategies she's learned from Joy to think positively, (or at least try to, as I feel like your overthinking may make her overthink) - But she knows if she starts to overthink it will just make yours worse, so she physically refrains for you.

If you're unable to confide in her about what is bothering you, or not ready to tell her your worries, she'd be okay with that too. There's no rush to these things, and she'd want you to be happy and comfortable first. I feel like she would let you lay on her chair, and pick out some book for her to read to you. Perhaps she offers you to confide in someone else, albeit I feel she would be slightly jealous, but someone like sadness could be a better fit for emotional topics, and she understands that.

I think she would do anything she can to make you happy in a time of need. She would listen to you, but if you didn't want that, she would try to give you something to cheer you up. Like a nice cup of tea, or listen to you talk about something that makes you so happy you could just burst.

She'd take you to the bedrooms, away from everyone else, if you were over stimulated. She'd dim the lights, and rub circles in your palm with her thumb. Maybe rub your shoulders.

She'd tell you that everything will be okay, even if she herself doesn't believe it.

What you need right now isn't her worries, it's your safety and grounding. Your comfort.

If you needed to be alone, she would respect that - too. She wouldn't want to stress you out more, and god knows she could. She's the embodiment of anxiety after all. She would leave, hesitantly.

She would overthink, of course, but she would respect your decision and wait for the green light to be let back in and see her.

If you asked for other outlets, she would probably suggest journaling, especially if you weren't comfortable talking about the problem...

She would suggest writing an angry letter and then throwing it away if you were mad at someone, or venting your emotions in some sort of diary.

She might even offer to get you a binder so you can organize your thoughts based on type of thought and emotion!

I feel like she would do that. Or, ask you to list all of your worries on a paper; and come to her and joy so she could tackle them one by one. - (Joy would help if needed, Anxiety is probably still learning how to do this type of thing.)

Regardless, she would try to reassure and assist you in any way she can. She would make sure that you don't think you're alone, and she would make sure that you know that she is by your side if you need her. She is not going to judge you for what worries you, and she is willing to listen and help if needed. After all, she's here to help.

PS! I MIGHT TAKE PROMPT REQUESTS IF YOU GUYS GIVE ME IDEAS TO TALK ABOUT WITH HER.... pleasee... I need more ideas...... give me ideas people!!! send a brain storm!!!

[lastflowerofyourhouse]

thinking about harrow and gideon as teeny little children.

like. the adults around them were never going to let them be friends, right? harrow's parents and crux were never going to put up with that. but i'll bet there was a moment, when they were small children, when they could've turned it around and just been friends. but of course they weren't allowed to.

like, here's the thing about toddlers: they kinda suck sometimes. all of them do, and it's usually not their fault. they don't have a developed sense of empathy or consequences yet, and they can't regulate their emotions very well. they're selfish and egocentric and short-sighted. they don't fully grasp concepts like sharing or delayed gratification. they have to be taught these things. it's the responsibility of the adults around them to help them practice and understand. and if they don't...well.

imagine you're tiny harrow. and you realize, one day, that if tiny gideon has something you want, then you're allowed to just take it and nobody cares. meanwhile, all of your things are sacred and protected by the adults around you. also, you're curious. you're learning about people and feelings and cause and effect. and so you start to pick on her, experimentally, as is natural for kids around that age. and you quickly come to understand that you can do whatever you want to her, and nobody will stop you. but if she retaliates, she gets in trouble. you would have to be one hell of an emotionally advanced toddler not to become a fucking terror to live with.

and that's not even mentioning how the adults around them treated gideon. harrow's primary caretaker and role model was fucking crux for jod's sake. and little kids love to copy behaviors and play and help even more than they love to steal. if the adults around you treat one particular person like shit, then you will inevitably learn to do the same.

also, gideon saying that baby harrow saw her as, quote, "an object of tormentable fascination" is weirdly heartbreaking to me? like yeah, harrow was probably The Worst as a little kid, for reasons already explored. but also, there was only one other child in her life. one other child, who was just close enough to her age to identify with, but also slightly older than her, by just enough months to be cool. i'll fucking bet harrow was obsessed with her. they were both lonely and bored and they had never been taught how to make friends or be nice to people. i'll bet they learned to fight like that. harrow following her around, just trying to get her attention, not knowing how else to do it.

the fact that griddle is very obviously babytalk too...it just fuckin gets me. harrow has been trying to say gideon's name since before she could properly form the syllables. she said gid-oh. what do you wanna bet it was one of the first words she tried to figure out how to say.

obviously, none of this justifies what came next. this isn't a harrowhark apologetics post. i'm not trying to like...woobify her or something. none of this emotional rambling about her toddlerhood absolves her of responsibility for shit she did as a teenager. but still. god i get emotional when i think about harrow and gideon as little kids. they were so lonely and they had no positive role models and they were completely fucked over by the adults around them and i am going to cry.

[dualcordie]

zukka HCs that hit me in the middle of the night:

- Sokka cooks, Zuko bakes

- caffeine makes Zuko slow down enough to focus but completely knocks Sokka out

- they’re both into skincare, but Zuko is more about long term care whereas Sokka is just a sucker for sheet masks

- Zuko misses having short hair (for the practicality ofc) but he keeps it long so Sokka has something to play with while he’s busy reading

- Zuko actually learns to self-regulate his emotions really well and just stays silent for a while to collect his thoughts, but that all goes out the window when Sokka hits him with a “C’mon, use your big boy words.”

- Zuko gets tension headaches all the time and refuses to do anything about it, but Sokka remembers that the magic combo to make him feel better is a hot bath + ice pack on the head so he always has them ready to go

- Sokka jokes about his trauma, but it makes Zuko genuinely upset (like frowny face, chest poking, pouting, getting in Sokka’s face, and telling him to “stop that!”)

- Sokka loves telling Zuko “It’s a non-bender thing… you wouldn’t understand” (especially when he does something cool with a weapon that Zuko doesn’t know how to use)

- Sokka found out about compatibility quizzes and makes Zuko take them with him all the time but still acts shocked when they get high scores/high compatibility

[marezablr]

i think the thing that's funny about gohan is that if you take canon at face value, you have to accept he doesn't "have trauma." canon is fundamentally more interested in big intense emotions and drama than the smaller moments (although it still has those, and they can be really touching). this is not a deficit! dragon ball is a series where someone you love dies, and you scream so big you get superpowers. it's great.

so taking canon for what it is, gohan has experienced traumatic events, but he doesn't have any trauma from them. it has had no effect on him.

but if you want to understand him as having trauma, then the obvious reading is that gohan takes on the "just a guy" genre of having a trauma. the kind where you cannot get him to admit that he even experienced trauma, let alone that it did anything to him.

being dumped in the woods for six months should have affected him developmentally? sure, it was scary and weird at first, but then it was kind of fun, really!

watching people die at age five should have affected him? no, it's okay, most of them came back. it's sad about the ones who didn't, but it's important to mourn your losses and go forward in honor of their memories!

the world being put on his shoulders when he was eleven might have messed him up? that was hard, but it did have to be him. and he messed up, but his dad told him not to feel bad. his dad wouldn't want him to dwell!

everyone who put him in dangerous situations loved him, and they're his heroes, and gohan really was uniquely powerful, and the world was really at stake, so he did uniquely have to be involved. no one did anything wrong. besides, it was kind of hard, but nothing is wrong with him. he's just a guy.

he's aggressive about protecting his normal life and had a hard time even knowing what "normal" looked like, but he's just a guy. he didn't want pan to see people being killed, but there were no consequences when that happened for him. he's just a guy. his rage is something he avoids like it scares him, but his emotional regulation is great, really!

none of it had a negative effect on him. it was hard sometimes, but he learned a lot of things, and he's fine now. he's just a guy.

you will never get any of the big, obvious signs of trauma out of gohan (again: canon is pretty content that he's happy and well-adjusted!), but you can find trauma responses if you want by leaning into that. that's the kind of trauma response where people don't admit it to themselves, where they constantly minimize and excuse what happened (they love me, they never wanted to hurt me, therefore i can't have been hurt). the kind of trauma response that only comes out in weird leakages, in little comments and odd irrational behaviors—and then, occasionally, all at once in blinding moments of uncharacteristic emotional outbursts.

but that's not a big deal. it's just how his power boosts work, he guesses? it's a saiyan thing, probably!

don't worry about it. it's all okay. none of it was that bad.

he's just a guy!

[ohcorny]

stupid enormous timescale makes me crazy and "well, long lived races--" as an answer makes me crazy in a different way. because unless your long lived race literally perceives time differently, a day is a day is a day.

if your elves get hungry and thirsty and rest the same as any other race, which generally they do in fantasy, they are experiencing time and have a metabolism the same as anyone else. honestly this is maybe my One big worldbuilding nitpick i have about the elves in dungeon meshi specifically.

they're portrayed as having no real concept of time as it applies to the shorter lived races. they apparently have plays and events that last days. they'll imprison shorter-lived races and not account for the length of their lives when processing them or their cases, so there'll be periods of years between developments. they require 60-80 years to mature.

none of that makes any fucking sense when you consider they have the same hours in the day and the same physical needs as everyone else. they need to eat, drink, and sleep just as much as any other race. their minds move at the same pace as everyone else's. if you put an equivalent tall-man and an elf in a room and taught them both a song, they'd pick it up at an equal pace, and they'd break for lunch at the same time, and spend as much time eating it.

so why would anything they do take longer? why would their plays be any longer? they still need to stop to eat and sleep. work is still due when it's due. why would their bureaucracy for prisoners be any slower? they have the same hours in the day as anyone else. are they just not working? if it takes two years to follow up on a prisoner's case, what are they doing with that time?

unless their entire culture is built around unlimited leisure, with an expectation that nothing ever needs to be done on time, none of that makes sense. and if their culture IS like that (which it definitely isn't based on what we've seen) how do they function so well as to be The major power on the planet?

but really the part that makes the least sense of all is the long adolescence. you're telling me they could spend 20 years as physical children? small and vulnerable and fragile? brother the species would die out. they would die out! that is too long to be small and vulnerable in an intelligent society! WE were barely making it to 20 years at all throughout most of history and at least during that time we were growing and learning! if you're a toddler with a toddler brain for 20 years you are simply going to hit your head and die. it's an inevitability. that's not even accounting for diseases.

and if you somehow make it past that gauntlet and grow up to be a teenager and had to spend 20 years with a teenager's hormones and emotional regulation and pubescent body you would KILL YOURSELF. YOU ARE NOT MAKING IT TO ADULTHOOD.

elves are dumb