There’s a nasty winter storm that’s going to hit most of the central regions of the US tomorrow (21 December 2022), especially tomorrow night. Please check your local forecasts if you live anywhere east of the rocky mountains, even down as far south as Texas. In some areas of the Plains region, windchill is likely to be -50F to -70F. That is so cold that you will develop frostbite in minutes. You will lose extremities without protection if you are exposed to windchill that cold. -70F is “surface of Mars” cold.
My part of the US is going to be below freezing all next week. This is normal for some. Not so normal for others.
If your area is likely to be impacted by the storm, please prepare now. The most important thing is staying warm and staying inside until things warm up outside. Specific tips I can offer, as somebody who regularly deals with cold winters are:
Put blankets over windows and doors. This will help your house retain heat.
Stay well-fed. Buy food now. You will get hungry faster because your body will burn calories to stay warm.
Stay hydrated. If your lips are chapped you’re probably dehydrated.
Stay dry. Remove wet clothing as soon as possible. It is better to be naked than wet when it is cold.
If it is going to get below freezing for more than an hour or two, run your water at a trickle or drip to prevent your pipes from bursting. The colder it gets the faster your pipes will freeze.
Here’s the weather forecast for this storm:
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❆ 𝑭.𝑯: 𝑫𝑨𝑹𝑲 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑪𝑬𝑷𝑻𝑺 (𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑)
psstt! — minors, do not interact! 18+ only, just like my blog. do not plagiarize, copy, translate, repost, copy or recreate my writing on any other public platforms. heed the warnings, and remember you are responsible for your media consumption.
info. — in honour of the holiday season, mr. hansen has decided to open requests! how kind is he? they will be posted in the next week or so, and will be written by me (sab). if you ask nicely, the man himself will even make an appearance!
format. — the requests will be submitted to this form. you will select one character, one AU (if desired), one dialogue prompt, and one kink/key element. all concepts will be dark, no matter what. there is an option for you to leave your username so i can tag you when i post your request. you may always remain anonymous. all prompts were created by me, please don’t use them without my permission.
time. — concepts will be written and posted as fast as possible. by january 7th, 2024, they should all be completed. please bear with me, as i can be quite a slow writer. thank you for your patience.
note. — concepts that are bolded and have three asterisks (***) will be turned into full fics. the list can be found under the ‘read more’ cut, along with all the drabbles i’ve posted.
the form is now closed. thank you for all the submissions! requests will be posted in the next two weeks.
show mr. hansen your gratitude by sending a request! isn't he such a sweet man?
NAVIGATION. ❆ @hansensfics. ❆ NEON PALM.
Andy Barber + Yandere + “Think an old man like me can keep up?” + conditioning/grooming.
Andy Barber + Roommate/Tenant + “Isn’t it beautiful? Bullet proof, too.” + dumbification.
Andy Barber + Bookstore + “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” + kidnapping.
Natasha Romanoff + Neighbours + “I’ll always love you, even if you don’t feel that way. But you will.” + sex pollen.
Johnny Storm + Sugar Daddy + “The night’s still young.” + obsession.
Jake Jensen + Step-brother + “C’mere. I can’t see you from all the way over there.” + thigh riding.
Steve Rogers + Stepfather + “Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be playing this game?” + face-sitting.
Natasha Romanoff + Mob boss + “I think I like you better when you’re gagged and crying on my dick.” + humiliation.
Steve Rogers + Boyfriend’s dad + “You’re so cute when you’re struggling like that.” + cum-play.
Lloyd Hansen + Yandere + “I’ll always love you, even if you don’t feel that way. But you will.” + sir kink.
Ari Levinson + Dad’s best friend + “I dreamt of you last night. Every night.” + daddy kink.
Andy Barber + Professor + “You want something from me? You gotta ask nicely.” + abuse of power.
Andy Barber + Dad’s best friend + “I just want to take care of you.” + daddy kink.
Steve Rogers + no AU + “Don’t be a brat.” + manhandling.
Lloyd Hansen + Sugar Daddy + “Merry fucking Christmas, princess.” + captivity.
Steve Rogers + Mob boss + “I just want to take care of you.” + stockholm syndrome.
Curtis Everett + Boxer + “C’mere. I can’t see you from all the way over there.” + dom/sub.
Lloyd Hansen + No AU + “Merry fucking Christmas, princess.” + daddy kink.
Lloyd Hansen + Sugar Daddy + “That’s no way to speak to your future husband.” + daddy kink.
Robert Pronge/Mr. Freezy + Amnesia + “Don’t you love it when I touch you like this?” + stockholm syndrome.
Pete Brenner + Camgirl + “I can’t help it, I love you too much.” + dumbification.
Lloyd Hansen + Mob boss + “I love hearing you beg. You’re much sweeter that way.” + pet play.
Lloyd Hansen + Mob/mafia + “You have no idea what you do to a man like me.” + overstimulation.
Andy Barber + Boyfriend’s dad + “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” + cheating.
Ransom Drysdale + Step-brother + “Don’t you love it when I touch you like this?” + innocence.
Steve Rogers + Yandere + “You know what I hate more than broken promises? Liars.” + kidnapping.***
Pete Brenner + Camboy + “You ask too many questions. Just relax.” + drugging.
Lloyd Hansen + Maid + “Where do you think you’re going?” + abuse of power.
Johnny Storm + College/University + “I thought you hated me.” + stalking.
Ari Levinson + Stepfather + “Don’t be a brat.” + vaginal sex.
Steve Rogers + Fake Marriage + “What did you just say?” + sex pollen.***
Jake Jensen + Neighbour + “I had to—you gave me no other option.” + obsession.
Lloyd Hansen + Sugar Daddy + “Isn’t this so pretty? It reminded me of you.” + daddy kink.
Lloyd Hansen + Neighbour + “The least you could do is be grateful.” + humiliation.
Ransom Drysdale + Yandere + “Merry fucking Christmas, princess.” + captivity.
Ari Levinson + Soulmate + “Don’t fight me. You’ll only make it worse for yourself.” + overstimulation.
Steve Rogers + Boyfriend’s dad + “You have no idea what you do to a man like me.” + cheating.
Natasha Romanoff + Camgirl + “C’mere. I can’t see you from all the way over there.” + scissoring.
Ransom Drysdale + Step-brother + “You ask too many questions. Just relax.” + drugging.
Ari Levinson + Dad’s best friend + “You ask too many questions. Just relax.” + corruption.
Andy Barber + Dad’s best friend + “Can’t you see I’m trying?” + cum-marking.
Ari Levinson + Mob boss + “You want something from me? You gotta ask nicely.” + innocence.***
Robert Pronge/Mr. Freezy + Neighbour + “The least you could do is be grateful.” + drugging.
Steve Rogers + Mob boss + “You ask too many questions. Just relax.” + corruption.
Ari Levinson + Camboy + “Isn’t this so pretty? It reminded me of you.” + innocence.
Lloyd Hansen + Boyfriend’s dad + “I think I like you better when you’re gagged and crying on my dick.” + creampie.
Natasha Romanoff + Yandere + “You’re so cute when you’re struggling like that.” + mommy kink.
Natasha Romanoff + Boyfriend’s mom + “You’re shaking so much, honey… Just wait until I get my tongue on you.” + obsession.
Lloyd Hansen + no AU + “Where do you think you’re going?” + pet play.
Natasha Romanoff + CEO + “Go on. Let’s see how far you’ll make it.” + mommy kink.
Natasha Romanoff + Sugar Mommy + “You want something from me? You gotta ask nicely.” + begging.
Lloyd Hansen + Mob boss + “You have no idea what you do to a man like me.” + choking.
Ransom Drysdale + Sugar Daddy + “You’re so cute when you’re struggling like that.” + abuse of power.
Ari Levinson + Amnesia + “Take you home? This is home. You aren’t going anywhere.” + obsession.
Natasha Romanoff + Dad’s best friend + “You have no idea what you do to a woman like me.” + creampie.
Curtis Everett + Mob + “Don’t be a brat.” + squirting.
Andy Barber + Mob/Mafia + “Take you home? This is home. You aren’t going anywhere.” + stockholm syndrome.
Ransom Drysdale + Soulmate + “That’s no way to talk to your future husband.” + captivity.
Andy Barber + Professor + “Take you home? This is home. You aren’t going anywhere.” + finger-sucking.
Lloyd Hansen + Boss + “Aw, are you gonna cry?” + overstimulation.
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MASTER LIST
Request are open!
ALLOWED:
●Fluff
●Yandere
●Angst
●Crossovers
●Character x Reader
●Character x Character
●References to other fandoms
●Comfort
●Headcanons
●Reader/Character from one dimension/universe getting sent to a different one (tfp x tfa, trollhunters x zak storm, etc)
●others to be added
NOT ALLOWED:
●NSFW
●Pedophilia
●Incest
●Certain sensitive topics (rape, abuse, etc)
●Other's OC's (I don't have the confidence to do that)
FANDOMS
Transformers
Tfa:
General:
- Predacon! Reader in TFA
Optimus Prime
- Wattpad Story: Deadly Voice
- Yandere! TFP! & TFA! Optimus x Chubby! Gn Reader
Ratchet
Prowl
Bumblebee
Bulkhead
Jazz
Jettwins
Ultra Magnus
Megatron
Starscream (+clones)
Lugnut
Blitzwing
Blackarachnia/Elita-1
Grimlock
Wreck-Gar
Soundwave
Longarm Prime/Shockwave
- All It Takes Is A Potion to Show How Much I'm Obsessed With You
Wasp/Waspinator
Tfp:
Optimus Prime
- Yandere TFP! & TFA! Optimus x Chubby! Gn Reader
Ratchet
Arcee
Cliffjumper
Smokescreen
Bumblebee
- Bumblebee x SG! Cybertronian Reader
Bulkhead
Wheeljack
Ultra Magnus
Megatron
- Decepticons Meets Sparklings
Starscream
- Decepticons Meets Sparklings
Soundwave
- Decepticons Meets Sparklings
Shockwave
- Decepticons Meets Sparklings
Predaking
- Decepticons Meets Sparklings
5t3v3(Steve)
- Decepticons Meets Sparklings
Knockout
- Decepticons Meets Sparklings
Breakdown
- Decepticons Meets Sparklings
Dreadwing
- Decepticons Meets Sparklings
Arachnid
Unicron
Tfe
Optimus
- Sparklings
Megatron
- Sparklings
Bumblebee
- Sparklings
Elita-1
- Sparklings
Soundwave
- Sparklings
Shockwave
- Sparklings
Tarantulas
- Sparklings
Terrans(PLATONIC ONLY)
Swindle
Starscream
Tfg1
Optimus Prime
- Calling Optimus Prime Dad
Prowl
Jazz
Bumblebee
Ratchet
Megatron
Starscream
Skywarp
Thundercracker
Reflector
Soundwave
- Soundwave x Cybertronian Reader Part 1
Shockwave
Grimlock
Unicron
Other Autobots and Decepticons
Tfbw
Optimus Primal
Rattrap
Rhinox
Cheetor
-His Sea Goddess (Cheetor x Cybertronian Reader with an Octopus alt-mode)
Dinobot
Megatron
Tarantulas
Waspinator
Tfrid2015
Bumblebee
Sideswipe
Strongarm
Fix-it
Grimlock
Drift
Steeljaw
Thunderhoof
Fracture
Underbite
Saberhorn
TF1
Orion Pax/Optimus Prime
D-16/Megatron
B-127/Bumblebee
Elita-1
Starscream
Soundwave
Shockwave
Sentinel Prime
LEGO MONKIE KID
Mk
Mei
Red Son
Jin & Yin
Spider Queen
Azure Lion
Macaque
Sun Wukong
Nezha
Syntax
Huntsman
Goliath (Strong Spider)
Peng
Lady Bone Demon
Not Mayor
ZAK STORM
Zak Storm (PLATONIC ONLY)
Cece
Crogar
Clovis (PLATONIC ONLY)
Caramba (PLATONIC ONLY)
Calabrass (PLATONIC ONLY)
Golden Bones
Trollhunters/3Below/Wizards
Angor Rot
Gunmar
Bular
Aaarrrgghh
Blinky (Blinkous)
Nomura
Draal
Krel Tarron & Aja Tarron (PLATONIC ONLY)
Varvatos
Tronos Madu
Zadra
Zeron Alpha
Nari
Skrael
Bellroc
Cookie Run Kingdom
Gingerbrave (PLATONIC ONLY)
Wizard Cookie (PLATONIC ONLY)
Strawberry Cookie (PLATONIC ONLY)
Custard Cookie Ⅲ (PLATONIC ONLY)
Chili Pepper Cookie
Licorice Cookie
Poison Mushroom Cookie (PLATONIC ONLY)
Dark Choco Cookie
Red Velvet Cookie
Pomegranate Cookie
Dark Enchantress Cookie
Pure Vanilla Cookie
White Lily Cookie
Hollyberry Cookie
Golden Cheese Cookie
Dark Cacao Cookie
Princess Cookie (PLATONIC ONLY)
Knight Cookie (PLANTONIC ONLY)
Caramel Arrow Cookie
Crunchy Chip Cookie
Affogato Cookie
Captain Caviar Cookie
Black Pearl Cookie/White Pearl Cookie
Shadow Milk Cookie
Mystic Flour Cookie
Others to be added
Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake
Fionna
Cake (PLATONIC ONLY)
Gary
Marshall Lee
Scarab
Prismo
Simon (PLATONIC ONLY)
Marceline (Vampireworld version)
Bonnibell Bubblegum (Vampireworld version)
WHEN REQUESTING (More rules will be added later):
●Include the fact whether or not your request is platonic or romantic; If romantic, is Y/n or character in a relationship, and if not, who is the romantic interest(s)?
●Give me some of the plot of what you're thinking for your request. If you don't, and I don't know what you want it to be about, or I can't think of what to make up- Example:
Optimus x Reader. Angst. Reader is male.
I don't know what the plot should be, or what it should involve. Like, if it's good enough that I can think of what it could be, then yeah, sure, but that will be a rare chance with me. But if it's like this- Example:
Aaarrrgghh x Reader. Comfort. Basically, the reader has had a bad day at work/school, and the two of them just cuddle and enjoy the silence in each other's arms, slowly falling asleep.
Then I will be able to think of how it can go because you gave me what you want to include in your request, but now how, I will be able to get behind that.
● I can make the reader be based off of another character, like- Examples:
-Vox! Reader in Trollhunters
-Reader as Ratchet's little sister in Transformers: Generation 1
Anything! Whatever you want as long as it's allowed.
●If your request involves something that isn't allowed, then it will be ignored.
That's everything for now! Request away!
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