macfrog · 1 year ago
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a ✨snippet✨ of dbf joel 🥺🥺
since i love ya s'much (remember this is joel's pov of illicit affairs to hits different. it's all the parts y'all didn't see)
“Mr. Miller?” she asks, and Joel sits up. “Got your number from Yelp. ‘m sorry it’s so late, it’s…oh, fuck – it’s, like, 2AM.” “Anna,” Joel says hoarsely. Get to the fuckin' point. “Right. Sorry. It’s just…we kinda have a…situation, here.” It’s you. He fucking knows it’s you. His heart begins to hammer. He doesn’t give a fuck whether she puts two and two together or not when he asks – “Where is she?” “We’re still at Frank’s,” Anna says, sniffing. He can hear the booming bassline of music, muffled; the sharper chatter of voices. She’s on the street. In his head, he can see her shoulders hunched; her bare arms wrapped around her body for warmth. She goes to say it again. “We’re still at –” “’n where is she?” Joel cuts, and she finally cracks.
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goldentigerfestival · 6 months ago
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finishing up my jp vesperia posts and crying in a puddle as i make my one final addition to the changes the dub made
by including the change made to flynn's happiest 360 moment ever but also listening to the jp line and becoming one with my own puddle
the sheer fucking happiness in his voice right from his chest itself while he's saying "dearest friend" im just fuckin'
mamo-chan has so much fucking power over me 😭😭😭
it's not even just the fucking line it's the way it's spoken
#GTF Vesperia Things#i was THIS close to just going through the 360 ver in jp for the changes but#it's probably not rly worth it outside the ending bc like... nobody is gonna play the 360 ver nowadays#except possibly ppl who already played that version so changes made to the context/tone for stuff that#was changed in the remaster are kiiinda more pointless to bother with for this stuff now#I think they'd still be worth mentioning slightly just for the sole fact of changes but like#it's largely not worth it and going through the whole game AGAIN and picking out the changed lines in the 360 scenes#just doesn't feel like it's going to do much of anything lol. I might look at Flynn's lines alone#just out of curiosity bc he's the one the dub changed the most in context#(Yuri's changes were heavily tonal and Flynn's were heavily contextual)#and since Flynn had to get the most editing for the remaster I AM curious for myself#and I might leave some comments abt anything noteworthy in another post#idk about putting them in my changes posts only bc I might push those out before going through the 360 Flynn stuff#and also bc I don't want to include any images if I were to put them in order since I was at the image limit#hence why I had to have so many posts in the first place. it'd probably just better to do like#a Flynn centric 360 post tops if I made a post at all#but yeah that's that on my progress and current emotional state which was 👌 actually fine#until i subjected myself to soft happy proud mamo-chan voice bc that shit just TAKES ME /OUT/
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mikashisus · 27 days ago
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TOO SWEET!
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SUMMARY: it's halloween, and your plans with your best friend are cut short. arlecchino, your intimidating yet friendly neighbor, asks you for a favor, which eventually leads to a startling confession.
PAIRING: lyney x vampire!fem!reader (can be read as gn tbh)
warnings: fluff/humor, slight angst, blood + blood drinking (vampire core!)
wc: 3.6k
notes: partly bullshittery honestly. also yes this was heavily inspired by 'my babysitter's a vampire' bc i literally love that show with my whole heart and i will forever be angry that it was removed from netflix. this was barely edited so i apologize for any errors 😔🙏
this is my entry for the @/stellaronhvnters halloween event! prompt: vampires!
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You cursed, the line going straight to voicemail. Tonight was Halloween, and your best friend, Citlali, wasn’t answering her phone. 
She was shit at answering her phone in general, but tonight was special. Four months ago, the two of you planned what you were going to do on Halloween night, even going as far as to set event reminders on your phones.
First, you were going to go to a haunted amusement park and get scared out of your minds. Then, you were going to go see that new trashy horror movie that was supposedly only good because Fontaine’s biggest star, Furina, was starring as the main character. Finally, you were going to buy fast food and return to your house for a sleepover. 
Wasn’t like you could sleep, anyway. 
Yet, it seemed as if all your plans were going down the drain, as not only was she not answering her phone, but she was a no-show at the amusement park. You were waiting around for about an hour, but there was no sign of her at all. You debated calling her mom, your finger hovering over the contact. 
Quickly pocketing your phone and getting back into your car, you decided you’d just go back home and ask her about it tomorrow. To say you were disappointed was an understatement, especially since you’ve been looking forward to this night for months. 
As you pulled into your driveway and angrily exited your car, you saw your neighbor’s door slamming shut. You shivered. Your neighbor, Arlecchino, was a scary and intimidating woman with three children around the same age as you. Even though your families were cordial with each other, you never made the move to befriend her kids. You didn’t think you’d ever get along anyway, especially since you all had extremely different interests and belonged to different social circles. 
Before you even had the chance to make it to your front door, she called out to you. You mentally cursed yourself out and turned to face her, greeting her with a shy smile. 
She returned it with a cordial one of her own. 
“Are you just coming home from an outing with friends?” She questioned, eyeing the purse hanging from your arm. 
You let out a heavy sigh. “I’m afraid not. She bailed at the last minute.” 
“I see. I’m sorry to hear that.” 
“It is what it is. I’ll text her in the morning.” You shrugged. “Did you need something?” 
Arlecchino, although intimidating, was a lovely person to hold a conversation with. She was a businesswoman after all. Conversing with others was in her job description. 
Suddenly, you felt hungry. Deciding you’d eat after Arlecchino left, you checked your phone for the time. It was still early enough that the streets would be filled with people, so you’d have to wait another hour or so— unless you were stealthy, but knowing you and your curse of being a klutz, you’d cause a scene almost immediately. 
And you couldn’t have the entire neighborhood show up at your door with pitchforks, so you’d just have to wait until the crowds dispersed. 
“Yes, actually…” The woman in front of you noticed your frantic fidgeting and changed the subject. “Are you alright, (Name)?” 
You let out a nervous chuckle. “I’m fine, I just haven’t eaten much today, so…” 
That was a lie. You haven’t had your fill in over a week, and your cravings were continuously getting worse. If you waited even a night more, you might just pass out. 
She hummed in understanding. “I see. Well, I was hoping you were free to watch my darling children tonight,” she said, “Clervie and I have dinner plans, and our usual babysitter canceled due to a family emergency. I’d greatly appreciate it if you could look over them for us while we’re out. I’ll pay you handsomely for your trouble.” 
You were more than surprised at her proposal. Any chance to gain easy cash was a welcome one in your book, but you were also confused. Weren’t her kids your age? Why was she asking you to babysit them if they could take care of themselves? 
You knew Freminet was younger than you, and that was understandable if she wanted you to watch him, but Lyney and Lynette too? Weren’t they also eighteen like you? 
Noticing your confused stare, she elaborated. “Lyney and Lynette decided to blatantly disobey my rules a few nights ago. As a result, I’ve deemed them unable to watch Freminet on their own. That is why I have asked you to do it instead.” 
She sighed, placing a hand to her temple, and you knew that look– it was the expression your mother wore every time you did something to piss her off. 
“Sure,” you answered, shrugging, “my plans were canceled, as you know, so I don’t mind.” 
She sent you a tight-lipped smile. “You have my thanks. There’s plenty of food in the kitchen, and you can find all our drinks out in the garage. Please, help yourself.” She placed a delicate hand to the small of your back and led you into her house.
Now that you thought about it, you’ve never been inside her house before. Maybe you have, once when you were still young, but you didn’t recall it. So, in your mind, this was your first time entering the old house you always considered to look like a haunted mansion on the outside. 
You sent a quick text to Citlali, hoping she’d answer, though you knew at this point that your night together wouldn’t be able to come to fruition. 
The house was loud as you entered, with Clervie, Arlecchino’s wife, arguing about something with who you presumed to be Lyney. In the living room, the tv was on, with an old classic horror film playing. Freminet was seated on the couch, his legs crossed, and his eyes glued to the tv screen. Lynette was lying next to him, her feet sitting on his lap and her head dangling over the armrest of the couch as she scrolled through social media on her phone. 
In another room, you could hear the voices of two more children. Weird, you thought, I thought they only had three kids. As if reading your mind, Arlecchino answered your question. 
“We’re housing foster children at the moment. They’re sweet children, you’ll find them to be cooperative.” 
With a nod, you continued following her into the kitchen. There, as you suspected, sat Lyney on one of the barstools, arguing with his mother. Clervie was dressed to the nines in a long, white dress that hugged her curves and had a sweetheart neckline. A necklace with a skull sat around her neck, and her hair was pulled up into an elegant updo. 
“I told you, this is because you broke me and your Father’s trust,” she scolded her son with a pointed look, “now, we must be going.” She picked up her purse as soon as you entered, and headed straight for your direction. 
She sent you a smile, and it was then you wondered if she was an angel sent from heaven. She embraced you excitedly, holding you tightly. “You’ve grown so big! Thank you so much for taking these rascals off our hands for us.” 
You returned her smile, finding her way easier to talk to than Arlecchino. “Of course, it’s not a problem.” 
But there was going to be a problem if you didn’t eat soon. The more you dilly-dallied, the more your hunger increased. 
Clervie thanked you once more, promising to pay you as soon as they returned from their outing. She pressed a quick kiss to Lyney’s head and bid her farewells to the other children before her and Arlecchino were out the door, leaving you standing idly by yourself and a dumbfounded Lyney. 
You turned to him, only to see him staring at you wide-eyed and his jaw slack. Lynette (you didn’t even know when she appeared) was standing beside her brother, a way calmer expression on her face than her brother’s. She blinked at you, before waving politely. 
“When Father told us she was going to find a last minute babysitter, you were not what I had in mind.” She told you bluntly. 
Shrugging, you eyed the bowl of apples on the island and made a beeline for them. “Trust me, I was just as surprised as you. I wasn’t expecting to be babysitting tonight, I was supposed to be getting high with my best friend.” 
Taking a bite out of the apple, you let out a sigh of relief. This would have to satisfy your hunger for now, just until you could slip away and quickly grab a real bite. 
Lynette shared a look with her brother. “Citlali, right?” 
You nodded. “Yeah. Nerdy, know-it-all, has an obsession with the school’s lab.” 
She hummed. “I’ve partnered with her a few times before on a project.” 
“Yikes, sorry.” You chuckled, knowing how hardcore your best friend could be when it came to projects. 
“It’s fine. She’s cool.” Lynette shrugged halfheartedly and reached for an apple. 
Lyney, who had been staring at you this whole time as if he’d seen a ghost, finally cleared his throat and brought your attention to him. “So, uh… sorry Father dragged you into this. It’s our fault you’re here right now.” 
Lynette nodded, agreeing with her brother. Truthfully, you were a bit upset you were here instead of in your bedroom watching Coraline or Halloweentown, but you were also glad you didn’t have to spend the night alone. Your parents were out, your younger sister was trick-or-treating with her friends in another neighborhood, and your grandparents were on a vacation in Mondstadt. 
“We kinda forgot to watch Freminet a few nights ago when Father and Mother were at Heloir and Foltz’s choir concert,” Lyney continued, looking away bashfully, “and when Mother found out, we were in for a stern talking-to.” 
Lynette sighed softly. “Forgive us. Please.” 
You smiled at them. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I would’ve had to spend the night alone otherwise.” 
Checking your phone, you could feel your hands shake. You needed to eat, or else you’d collapse within the next hour. That, and you had a bad feeling about your best friend’s lack of response to your texts. Usually, she would’ve responded by now with an explanation, but there was none. She didn’t even open your messages. 
Did she even have her phone on? You checked her location, only to see she was in her house. Odd. She definitely should’ve responded by now. You were getting a bit worried. 
“But uh, I need to go.” 
The twins gave you a confused look, and Lyney quickly hurried after you as you bolted for the front door. “Wait, wait. Didn’t you just say—“ 
“Look.” You turned to them with an agitated expression. “I’m hungry, and my best friend isn’t answering her phone, and I’m worried something has happened to her. You guys are completely capable of watching your brother on your own. You don’t need me.” 
Lyney seemed to deflate like a balloon at your words. “But what about Father? She’ll be pissed if she finds out you bailed—“ 
“Then I’ll get back before she gets home.” You stated confidently, swinging the front door open. 
The twins watched you sprint down the driveway and down the road. Lynette turned to her brother. “Idiot. You scared her away.” 
“What!?” He slammed the front door shut and followed his sister into the kitchen. “How’d I screw this up??” 
“Because you were gawking at her like she’s a full course meal,” she picked up her phone and opened a bag of chips, “seriously, you need to get over her and stop drooling. It’s sad watching you fumble.” 
Lyney pouted. “Lynette…” 
She looked up at him briefly. “I’m just stating a fact. She’s way out of your league.” 
It was true that Lyney had a big fat crush on you. Ever since you moved in next door when you were children, he has had feelings for you. He was perfectly content to watch you from afar during elementary school and middle school, but ever since your first year of high school, he had enough of that puppy love. 
He wanted to get closer to you, to befriend you and maybe turn that friendship into something more. Yet, you never acknowledged him. You never even looked his way. It seemed as if he was nothing to you, just another student attending your school. He was jealous the first time you got a boyfriend, and he was devastated when the one time you did talk to him, you completely forgot who he was the next day. 
Now that you showed up at his house, he had some hope. Hope that he’d finally get to befriend you. But… you walked off, and he wasn’t sure you’d ever speak to him again. He lost once more. 
He pouted like a kicked puppy, and Lynette could only ignore his whining for so long. Finally, when she had enough of his self-pitied sighing, she leapt off the barstool and grabbed her jacket. “Let’s go.” 
Lyney perked up, raising a brow as Lynette threw his jacket at him and pulled on her sneakers. “Where are we going?” 
“After her,” she said as if it was obvious, “duh.” 
Lyney shuffled after her, pulling his own shoes on. He tossed a glance towards Freminet, who was too engrossed in the movie he was watching to even notice his siblings getting ready to leave. 
“But what about Freminet, Heloir, and Foltz?” 
“They’re fine. If we left them alone before and they didn’t burn the house down, then now shouldn’t be a problem either.” 
Lyney sighed. He loved his sister, but she was a handful sometimes. Even more so than he was, on occasion. With a small whine, he followed her out the door, shutting it behind him. 
The streets were mostly empty. You were lucky you left when you did, otherwise no one would be on the streets. You didn’t like feeding directly off of someone, but you were left with no choice. 
The vendor you usually bought from was away on vacation this weekend with his family, so you were unable to get your fill from his wares. 
He warned you, you thought, he told you weeks ago he wouldn’t be here on Hallows Eve. And yet… you still forgot. 
“Feed from an animal.” Your mother told you, but you outright refused. 
You refused to touch animals. They didn’t deserve to be harmed simply cause you needed to feed. When you told your mother that, she didn’t understand. 
“So you’d rather harm a human?” 
You never answered her question, but she already knew the answer, so there was no need. 
You spotted a man riding his bike and decided he would be your food tonight. Although you hated feeding from men (their blood didn’t taste as good— in your opinion), you’d rather them than an innocent woman. 
In an instant, you had him down on the ground, your fangs digging into the side of his neck. You kept one hand over his mouth and the other on his shoulder to keep him from running. He clawed at your hands, leaving scratches that hurt like hell, but you knew they’d heal up later, so you didn’t care. 
A loud crash startled you, and the now unconscious man was left on the sidewalk. You wiped the blood from your mouth and glanced at him. He’d live. You only needed a little bit of his blood to satiate you until the vendor returned in two days with a whole month’s worth of food for you. 
You eyed the alleyway closest to you with narrowed brows. “Who’s there? Show yourself.” 
Just in case there was a witness, you weren’t afraid to also feed from them. You couldn’t have the entire city after your head, after all. Imagining your neighbors showing up to your door with pitchforks in their hands did sound a bit amusing. Though, pitchforks were too outdated. 
Maybe they’d show up with guns instead, who knows. 
It was silent as you waited for whoever was behind the dumpster to move. The more you waited, the more impatient you became. Your eye twitched. You took a step forward, ready to go to them yourselves, when two people stepped out from behind the dumpster— two familiar people. 
Your eyes widened. “Lyney? Lynette!?” you stared at them in surprise, your jaw falling slack as you tried to string together your own thoughts. 
Lyney could feel his heart pounding against his chest. There was blood on your lips and around your mouth, shiny and fresh. He could see the body on the ground behind you, and he could spot your fangs protruding from your mouth. 
Were you… a vampire? 
He had his suspicions when he got a quick glimpse of your fangs an hour ago, but he also didn’t want to jump to conclusions so quickly— it was Halloween, after all. In the end, his gut feeling was correct, and now he wasn’t sure whether he should run for his life or interrogate the hell out of you. 
What does one do when they find out their neighbor of all people is a vampire?  
There isn’t really a handbook for this stuff. There should be, he thought. 
Lynette was more composed, but Lyney could tell she also harbored a bit of fear in her heart too. Judging by the way her eyes were blown wide and her shoulders were tense, he could tell she was prepared to book it at a moment’s notice. 
“I… I promise this isn’t what it looks like—“ 
“Are you sure about that!?” Lyney interrupted you, pointing to the unconscious man behind you. “Because it sure as hell looks like you just drank that man’s blood! Like… like a vampire!” 
You sighed, cutting to the chase. The clock was ticking and you were tired. “Y’know what? Whatever, it is what it looks like. I’m a vampire.” 
The nonchalance of your words threw the twins for a loop. They sputtered, opening and closing their mouths like fishes out of water. You stared at them, waiting for a whole slew of questions to be thrown your way. 
They didn’t come until a few moments later, and you were glad the silence was finally broken. Any more of that awkward silence and you likely would’ve cried. 
“How— what!?” 
Your stomach rumbled, and you cursed under your breath. How were you still hungry? That man’s blood should’ve been enough to satiate you. You checked your phone, and to your relief, Citlali finally replied to your worried messages. 
The contents of her texts made your blood boil. A growl involuntarily escaped your lips and the twins flinched at the sound. 
“Listen,” you spat, pocketing your phone, “I’m hungry and my best friend just texted me saying she got bit by my ex-boyfriend. I don’t have time to sit here and explain shit to you!” 
Your voice raised each sentence, and your apparent anger was making your hunger worse somehow. “If you want the full sob story, ask me tomorrow! But tonight is an overall shitty night for me, and all I wanna do is get back to my house, with my stomach full, and go the fuck to bed.” 
You turned on your heel, your chest heaving, and began speed walking down the sidewalk back to your house. You tried calling Citlali, but she wasn’t answering, and now you were even more furious than before. 
“Wait!” Lyney called out, catching up to you. 
“I don’t have time for this!” You yelled back, about to fly away, but the next words from his mouth startled you into a halt. 
“Y-You can drink from me! As much as you need!” 
You kept your back to him, mulling over his pleas in your head. Was he seriously offering himself up on a silver platter? 
Usually, you were vehemently against drinking blood from anyone unless your vendor was out of stock or like now, on vacation and you couldn’t reach him. It went against the promise you made to yourself when you first became a vampire— when your idiot ex didn’t take your feelings into account and turned you without caring about the consequences it’d cause for you. 
And now he turned Citlali, too, and quite frankly, you felt a little more than just betrayal. First he turned you, and then the person you cared the most about. He really wanted to make your life miserable, didn’t he? 
With a sigh, you turned to face the twins, who were giving each other an uneasy look. Lynette placed a hand on Lyney’s arm. 
“Are you sure about this, brother? What if you die?” 
“I would never kill someone,” you stated firmly, “I only drink until they go unconscious. I never drink to kill, only to satiate my hunger until my vendor returns to town with his blood supply restocked.” 
Lynette was still wary, but she slowly lowered her arm and nodded curtly in understanding. 
You shifted your gaze to Lyney, who was fidgeting ever so slightly. You could hear his heart hammering against his ribcage and you could sense the fear he was trying so desperately to hide with a neutral expression. 
“Are you sure, Lyney?” You questioned, raising a brow. 
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Y-Yes, I’m sure.” You could hear the obvious stutter in his voice, but you chose not to comment on it. 
If he was sure, then who were you to refuse free blood? 
You stepped closer to him, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. “This’ll hurt,” you muttered, watching the way his lip trembled a bit, “thank you.”
Your fangs sank into his neck, and the sweet taste of his blood hit your tongue.
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notes: this was supposed to be longer but i got lazy and everything was starting to not make sense so i decided to just cut the rest and stick with this.
© 2024 mikashisus. do not plagiarize, copy, repost, feed to ai, or translate my works to any other platforms.
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loth-creatures · 1 year ago
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LORE
Lothwolfwalkers AU Masterpost
I will be editing and adding to this over time and details are subject to change. Most recent update will be indicated with a ☆
Suggestions and ideas are SO welcome, my inbox is your oyster. I might even link previous asks with lore bits in here at some point.
The original Wolfwalkers were a small group of Lothali Natives. They were Force-sensitive as the lothwolves are but typically not as much as Jedi. Of course, they did have dealings with the Jedi many decades ago. They actually had a very close relationship at one point, with plenty of Wolfwalkers becoming Jedi and vice versa. Lothal basically had its own unique faction of Jedi intertwined with the wolfwalkers. But for *unknown reasons* the lothwolves disappeared, the wolfwalkers dwindled, and the Jedi left.
The main Jedi temple may still exist in the records (as shown by Kanan’s holocron) but the history seems to only be preserved through the ancient art in temples and wolf dens on Lothal.
*Ezra said no one’s seen a lothwolf in a hundred years and I don’t feel like coming up with an explanation. Wolfwalkers are also heavily implied to be near extinct in the movie.
When the Empire arrived and began to slowly poison the planet, its magic grew quiet and any scattered remaining wolfwalkers began to lose their power, including Ezra’s parents. Ezra’s high Force-sensitivity allows him to connect to his. Once the Empire is defeated and the lothwolves return, the wolfwalkers will begin to come back as well.
Lore carried over from Wolfwalkers for those who haven’t seen the movie:
The wolf body is separate from the human (or alien) body and only appears when they fall asleep. ☆They can wolf spontaneously but the human counterpart will still fall asleep if that happens. Force-sensitive wolfwalkers can also meditate their way into wolf form.
Some are born wolfwalkers and some become them after being bitten by another wolfwalker
They can communicate with wolves and other animals
Healing powers
They can see scent trails, feel sound vibrations, probably some other sensory chaos
Variations of Wolfwalkers based on Force-sensitivity and proximity to Lothal:
Size Reference
Native Lothal people can become wolfwalkers regardless of Force-sensitivity and transform with ease.
Non-native nonForce-sensitive people can become wolfwalkers but it can wear off or go dormant after a while, and its much harder to learn to wolf on command or control it when asleep. ☆ If their wolf form does go dormant, they will likely wake up in the presence of other wolfwalkers or even just visoting Lothal.
Jedi (or anyone highly Force-sensitive) can easily connect with and control their wolf-forms with practice, no matter where they are, and can contain their wolf when asleep when necessary. It probably sucks though, feels itchy and restless.
Jedi wolf forms can change and grow due to *significant events.* I made the Jedi-wolves gigantic purely because of Dume so working concept that Weird Fucked Up experiences with the Force make the wolf forms huge bc they like. Absorb cosmic energy or something. Ezra will also get gigantic in the future, bc boy does he have some cosmic experiences.
The wolf is essentially a physical manifestation of one's soul, as well as the Force. The wolf is equal to one's connection to the Force, which in my book is like an expansion of your soul as energy from the Force swirls and clusters around you and pulls at you. It causes your soul to overflow from your body and that's why you get power. This is why non-Force sensitive wolfwalkers are normal sized as wolves (same size as normal lothwolf) whereas Jedi wolves are bigger even before having fucked up cosmic experiences.
Also. Force abilities manifest differently in wolf-form. It's like you can't really use the Force with percision bc you are the Force. Or smth. I'll come back to that. ☆
Stuff I made up for the plot:
Ezra has always been a wolfwalker, like his parents. But the lothwolves are gone and his parents are dead and he’s never actually connected to his wolf-form. He often has dreams, trying to find his wolf but not actually knowing what he’s looking for and never successful. It’s part of why he can connect with animals so well, and sometimes he can see/hear/smell through flashes of wolf-sight but he goes a long time thinking it's just the Force. Once he figures it out, it will take a long time for him to discover all the abilities and secrets and hidden knowledge etc. Until the Lothwolves return there is no one to teach him.
If a wolfwalker’s human body dies, they can still exist in their wolf forms but it's not guaranteed. It's a gamble with time and the healing abilities of their fellows, as any injuries the human body sustains will also appear on the wolf. The wolf must stay in spirit form until healed or it will quickly die the same way its human form did. They might also be somewhat ghostish. Like they can still have solid bodies but can also just dissolve into the Force at will. Anyway this entire AU was just my here’s-how-Kanan Jarrus-can-still-win scheme MWAHAHA
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riewritten · 2 years ago
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what do you do when inspiration suddenly hits you? like do you just memorize it in ur head or note it somewhere or do u work on that idea immediately?? im very very curious about ur creative process PLEASE OVERSHARE because i believe there are things that are new to me. like you write and draw and it's amazing how tou do both! i'm more curious about ur writing process because i don't write much (nowadays i only journal or write diary entries, in the past i did write fanfictions but they're almost all oneshots or unplanned dropped after 2 or 3 chapters). (how) do you plan your storyline? do you consider yourself flexible (like are u comfortable with changing plans in a big project where one change could lead to other changes?). Do you beta read by yourself or is there anyone who does it? if you do it by yourself, what do you feel when re-reading your writings? i literally have sm questions but i don't wanna overwhelm you 😭😭😭 you don't need to answer if you don't want to, that's alright!!!
when u said i could overshare
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for whenever the inspiration hits, i tend to start on it immediately. writing is such a mood booster for me and i'm in a low mood most of the time so i seize the moment whenever motivation comes :'D sometimes when i'm busy (let's say school/work) and a great idea pops in (usually in quote format), i just lay it down in my gdocs. for oneshots, 1 doc would suffice. for longfics, the docs per chapter are contained in a folder.
i don't think i'm great in fan arts (i just get the boost from those who draw well—like u!) so i'm glad you appreciate it as well <3
regarding my writing process, someone actually asked me about it before! but to generalize my answer there, i ponder on 3 things (plot, characterization, & chapter study). my first fic (and my first series in general) was dusk in the brightest. i worked on chapter study first: detailed sequence of events from C1-10, vague concept in 11-15, then the rest is just 2-3 sentences of how i want the story to end. the 2nd one, character study, was smth i learned from a professor in one of my subjects when i submitted a one-act play script to her and she heavily criticized my characterization (like so badly i still get jitters remembering it) 😭 since then, i've been very wary with getting things accurate and consistent with my characters. for my plot-heavy fics, that's what i'm most serious for.
i think my flexibility (i dont even think i got that) was v challenged during the last arc of DIB because i suddenly had a complete change of mind with the ending (exactly what u had mentioned: changes that would lead one thing to the other). it was def not comfortable but a great tip (i think) to work around it is that: go back to your earlier chapters, pick up the most random scenarios you had made, then come up with a reason why that random thing ensued. an example of executing it is how isayama worked around aot's first scene (child!eren crying & mikasa being the first one he sees) by connecting it to his last scene in the manga (ofc i wouldn't assume isayama just thought abt it midway. it's just with how he executed it).
i don't have lots of friends in this app so i usually do the revisions all by myself. i'm a type of author that releases chapters impulsively—i'd publish smth that i hadn't proofread yet, read it in the app, then just do all the editing there. i'll repeat the process until i finally get satisfied. i think it's easier for me to point out mistakes when i feel the urgency to do so (like omg i have to hurry in polishing this bc readers might click anytime soon 😭) though someone helped me change POVs (from 1st to 2nd) in DIB C1-13 and let me tell u that i never thought having someone help me beta read my work could bring me so much delight.
and pls don't worry about overwhelming me! using this app and dumping all my work here are literally what keeps me sane from the overwhelming things in my life atm. to have u appreciate it gives me joy & comfort. thats why i'd be honored to answer all of ur questions :'D
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ebony-etchings · 1 year ago
Note
cnai ask about reena?
Yes
Absolutely
Please ask me about my ocs please please please they live almost exclusively in my head and any notes I get from posting about them is the closest they'll ever be to paying rent
Anyway judging by the fact someone liked the ninjago oc post from a while ago recently, I shall bestow upon ye knowledge about Reena (Ninjago edition)
Below the cut. There is much to say.
So!
[Slaps roof of oc]
Reena is my oldest oc, first spawning into existence when I was but a mere 11 years of age
She is very special to me
She is also a horrible little bastard
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Reena is a thief for hire with a stage name that has changed at least 3 times. It's either Phantom or Fox or some ninjago-brand villain pun name that I can't quite remember. It's been a while.
She functions as a minor/recurring antagonist that steals weird macguffins for shadowy figures for fun and for profit
She doesn't take most things very seriously, she's just here for for a good time, yknow? Crime gets her out the house and gives her a chance to stretch her abilities
She is the self-proclaimed "master of illusion", whether these powers stem from elemental abilities or if its more of a sorcery deal (ala Clouse) is a mystery
And like any self-respecting individual with illusion powers, she abuses the hell out of them, heavily reliant on disorienting and distracting opponents so she can slip out of trouble and snag whatever her prize is. She's fast, sure, she's stealthy, but a fighter? She is not
But what she is, is very, very irritating to deal with. The ninja have had run-ins with her a few times and they collectively conclude that she is insufferable. Not to say all their encounters are adversarial, or at least from Reena's perspective anyway. Honestly she quite likes the ninja. They save Ninjago like, all the time, and if Ninjago is consumed by giant snakes or darkness or ghosts then what? Nothing good probably
Speaking of canon characters, Ronin is also familiar with her. Reena used to be a kind of apprentice of his towards the beginning of her criminal career. And by apprentice I mean she helped Ronin steal things and Ronin gave her a very small cut of the profits. Apparently, she thought she deserved a bigger cut for some reason and ditched him not long after. Sometimes their paths cross when they're both off on quests to steal things. There's no hard feelings though, they just both like to bully each other
Anyway backstory
Also a subject of ambiguity and frequent change, the tldr of the original edition is she lived in ninjago city with her parents and little brother but then her parents got lowkey killed by the great devourer and I guess bc I was 11 and didn't think about the fact they'd qualify for adoption, this led the vastly unqualified Reena to start stealing things so they could get by. And then gradually expanding her enterprises into bigger things
Yknow, classic backstory
(When I was 11 Rebooted had only just aired so actually Harumi stole Reena's backstory- (This is a joke))
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More recent versions of her backstory find her parents just. Straight up absent for most of her life for unknown reasons. She's part of a kinda thieves guild thing, and an additional part of her motivation for stealing is bragging rights. Still gotta look out for her little brother though. Vaguely.
So uh. Yeah.
That got a little long but yknow, that is a crash course on Reena Things, please ignore the fact her outfit keeps changing, it has never been consistent
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strawberrymilkgeorge · 4 years ago
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Part Ten. Faces
warnings: swearing, hate comments word count: 4.1k (not including pics)
behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist
A/N: sorry its late!!!! this feels rushed but i was just too excited to get to some parts!!! also i have had some parts written out for SO long that they dont even feel cute to me anymore so im literally praying to every deity rn that you guys think its cute lmao anyway enjoy!!!!
**********
It had been about a week since Karl's slip up but everything was already more normal than Y/n had expected it to be. Of course, George, Sapnap and Quackity were all very understanding and gave her space while simultaneously reassuring her that she was safe with them. She fully believed it too, she knew she was safe with them and they weren't going to tell anyone her name.
The one unusual thing was now she had a heavy guilt, like someone dropped another sandbag in her stomach, every time Dream texted her. If the others knew, it was only fair that she tell him her name too, right? I mean, it's Dream. Dream! The boy who had quickly slipped his way into her life and, though she wouldn't admit it to Karl or Naomi, her heart.
But how? Does she just come right out and say it or wait until it gets brought up? She hadn't practiced telling anyone her name because she wasn't planning on doing it any time soon. Though, maybe she should have been seeing as she was going to see them all in person in a little over a month.
Regardless of the guilt, Y/n had other things to worry about today; Quackity was coming to visit. Karl had picked him up from the airport and the two of them spent all day catching up and doing who knows what but Y/n still hadn't met him. She was scared. She wasn't scared of Quackity, but scared because it was the first time one of her online friends would be able to put a face to her name and voice.
Y/n shuffled across her living room rug and reached for her phone on the coffee table, looking for some sort of distraction while she waited for them to arrive.
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Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled, shaking her head as she threw her phone on the couch. Okay, he's right. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. It's just Quackity. If he said anything rude or annoying or anything she could literally just step on him like a bug.
A sharp knock on the front door of her apartment snapped her back into reality. She shook her limbs of nervousness as she made her way to the door, two familiar voices begging to be acknowledged from the other side.
"Let us iiinnn!! Y/nnn!!!!" Karl whined.
After countless times asking the same question, she finally convinced Karl that she was okay with him using her real name in front of Quackity. He clearly still felt guilty about telling the boys her name, asking her multiple times in different ways whether he should call her Y/n or Bugsy in front of the guest. She finally got it through his head that she didn't mind either way.
"Hold on!" she yelled back. She unlocked the door and swung it open to see Karl and Quackity. "So impatient."
"Holy shit, you are tall! Goddammit, I thought that was a joke!"
Y/n laughed shyly at the greeting, looking at Quackity like he was crazy. "Hello to you too. Tried to warn you, dude."
"Yeah but, damn! You're tall and attractive, what the hell?"
"Dude," she said with a warning in her voice. She thought the flirting on Twitter was funny, but in real life she got embarrassed easier and wasn't a fan. "I'm about to kick you out of my house before I even let you in."
This was weird, meeting Quackity before meeting some of her other friends. She loved Quackity, but she had known George much longer and Sapnap even before that. There was no problem with meeting Quackity, she just had no idea how to act since she felt like she hardly knew him.
"Am I allowed to tell people that you're hot?" he asked as he fell on her couch, Karl following right after.
"Quackity!" Y/n yelled, her face heating up at a compliment. "Seriously?"
Karl cackled and shoved Quackity. "Shut up, Alex! No, you're not allowed!"
"Sorry, is that compliment reserved for Dream?" He cackled at his own joke and Y/n's face heated up even more.
"I seriously will kick you out of my house."
"You wanna be flirty on main but not in real life?" Quackity scoffed.
"I'm not flirty on main, you are!" she laughed. "Seriously, don't."
"Okay, sorry, I'll stop," Quackity promised with a laugh in his words.
The three of them fell into easy conversation, mostly because Karl and Quackity were already comfortable around each other at this point. They eventually decided to go to the mall, just to mess around and do something.
*reminder: covid doesn't exist in this fic bc we only want happy things so ignore their masks :P*
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Y/n frowned as she unlocked her front door, staring at her phone. She had been so happy with all the fans freaking out about the meetup so she looked at the trending list, expecting to see a flood of keyboard smashes and happiness, but that's not all she ended up seeing. BUGKARLITY was trending, so she scrolled through the tweets and was upset to see not all of them were positive. In fact, when she typed her name in the search bar, lots of the tweets using her name were rather mean.
A few that stuck in her head called her an attention whore and said that her friends only flirted with her because she paid them too. Who on earth would even do that? Some hurt way more than others but she tried to push them aside. It wasn't like this was the first time she had seen comments like this, but they had only gotten worse since her Minecraft date with Dream. She was worried it was cause more hate for her friends and the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of their own hate.
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She typed several different messages to Dream, deleting them all after she reread them. She felt like she had to request the same thing from him in a different way. Maybe because she felt like his words meant more, even if he really was just joking like the rest of them. She decided to call him instead of texting.
"Hi!" he chirped happily from the other end.
"Hi, Dream," she said as her chest filled with something warm at the sound of his voice. "How are you doing?"
"Good," he dragged out the word. "How are you?"
"Okay."
"Just okay? What's up?"
"Um," she started, immediately forgetting the words she decided she'd use. "I just... would you mind, uh, not flirting with me so much on, like, Twitter and streams and stuff like that?"
There was a silence before Dream's frantically apologetic words came through. "Yes, of course, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. If I had known I was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have—"
"Wait, no," she interrupted but he must not have heard.
"—said things like... oh gosh. Bug, I'm really sorry—"
"Dream!" she raised her voice, getting him to stop ranting. "You don't make me uncomfortable."
"Oh. Really?"
"Of course not. I actually think it's really..." Cute? Adorable? Endearing? "funny," she decided.
"Oh. Then why...?"
She sighed heavily and explained what she told the others. "So, yeah. I just don't want you guys getting hate because of me so I figure if you stop then... you know."
"Bug..." he said gently. "I'm really sorry. I promise you that I don't—none of us think those things about you."
"I know."
"No, seriously," he said, clearly not believing her. "You need to understand that I..." he paused. "I mean what I say. Always."
Always? she thought. There's a few things he's said that certainly he didn't really mean... like calling her cute?
"I don't joke around like that unless I want to. I wouldn't say things like I say to you unless I really, really, genuinely considered you a close friend and felt comfortable around you. And I do."
Her heart swelled. "Thanks, Dream. I just... maybe don't do it so much for right now? Online, at least," she clarified, not wanting to deprive herself completely of Dream's flirting.
"Yeah, if that's what you want, of course."
"Well, I don't want you to stop flirting with me but, yeah."
He chuckled. "Oh, you do like when I flirt with you?"
She hummed and changed the subject. "Did I interrupt you doing anything?"
"No," his teasing voice dropped and was back to his regular self. "I'm just editing the video we filmed the other day."
"Oh, the 'Minecraft, but you can't touch the floor'?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"Oh," she said, not meaning to sound disappointed. "I'll let you get back to it—"
"No. I mean, you can stay on the phone. Unless you're busy."
She smiled and put her phone on speaker and set it next to her foot on the floor. "I was just gonna paint. So I can stay."
Before she knew it, almost two hours had passed of them sitting in comfortable silence, occasionally speaking to share something with the other before going back to their tasks. It was comforting knowing she didn’t need to speak constantly and could just hang out with Dream.
Y/n's phone rested on the floor next to her, Dream on speakerphone on the other end, only the sounds of his keyboard clicking letting her know he hadn't fallen asleep or hung up. She wasn't sure when they started doing this, staying on the phone even when they had nothing to talk about, but they had done it a few times before. They had talked on the phone and Discord many times but it was usually always with purpose, not usually this silently-enjoying-each-others-presence nonsense. Who was she kidding calling it nonsense, she enjoyed it an embarrassingly insane amount.
She repositioned so she was laying on her stomach as she finished sketching an image that was in her mind.
"Hey, you still there?" Dream asked softly.
"Yeah. Sorry, am I taking away from your sitting in silence time with George?" she joked.
Dream chuckled lightly. "Nah, you're more fun. I was just seeing if you ditched me for Karl yet."
"Nah, you're more fun," she mimed truthfully. "But I'm very focused on this drawing."
"Can I see it when you're done?"
"Don't expect too much. It looks bad."
"If you don't tell me what it is, I can't know how accurate or inaccurate it is."
"Very true..." she trailed off, holding the canvas further away to examine it all at once. She wanted the sketch to be perfect before she made permanent choices with paint. She enjoyed the serenity they maintained even when talking, voices low and delicate like they were keeping secrets but not quite whispering. "Are you almost done editing your video from the other day?"
"Sorta. I'm at the part where you and Sapnap almost died laughing because a ghast knocked George into lava and then Sapnap laughed so hard he fell into lava."
She chuckled, remembering the situation vividly. "That was so funny. The way George screams is so funny."
"Let Naomi know that," he mumbled, causing Y/n to gasp.
"Dream!" she laughed loudly and he joined.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's true though."
"Disgusting!"
A distant voice sounded on the other end and she assumed it was Sapnap. "What do you want for dinner?"
Dream responded with a soft, "Nothing, I'm good."
"Are you talking to Bugsy?"
He must have responded physically because the next sound was Sapnap's very clear, much more lively voice speaking directly into the phone. "Hi, Bugsy!"
"Hi, Sapnap!"
"Can you tell Dream to eat some damn food? This man literally hasn't eaten a single thing all goddamn day."
"Dream," Y/n scolded slowly. "Please eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"I'm not showing you my painting until you eat."
A door closed on the other end and she took that as a sign that Sapnap had left.
"I don't wanna see it anyway. It's probably trash."
"Take that back!" she gasped lightly. She looked at the canvas as she grabbed the first paint color and laughed. It was only a sketch and it was already trash. "Fine, then I won't go on the trip if you don't eat in the next ten minutes."
"That's punishing yourself too though."
"Who says I want to see you?" she asked.
"I never said anything about not seeing me being the punishment."
She had been caught. "It was implied."
"Sure it was."
"It's true though. Who says I wanna see your stupid face?"
He didn't say anything, but an incoming FaceTime call lit up Y/n's phone. A FaceTime call from him.
Her smile dropped. "Clay?"
"Answer it," his voice was lower and her heart started beating faster. Was he really about to show her his face to prove a point? Reveal his biggest secret that only a few close friends knew? To her of all people? She made sure she couldn't be seen in the small window and pressed accept, the voice call ending and the FaceTime call starting.
To her surprise, what came into view wasn't his face, but the logo of the hoodie he was wearing, the simple smile of his merch taunting her. She laughed, the anxiety slowly fading away as it was replaced with a heavy feeling in her stomach. Was she disappointed? Maybe a little, but he teased her into believing she would see him.
"Oh, wow! Dream face reveal! He looks just like his icon, no way!!!"
His chest moved up and down as he laughed, not moving the camera away. "You heard it here first, guys! You've known my face all along, the logo is actually my face!"
She laughed and returned to painting, not paying any more attention to her phone since he was now also showing his ceiling, a small corner of his monitor in frame but nothing else. "I mean it though, if you don't eat, I'm going to be so mad I won't even want to be friends anymore. Or you'll die from malnourishment before we get the chance to meet."
"I doubt it. I'm just not hungry."
"Whatever."
"Oh, hey, so you met Quackity today. How was it?"
"Very scary."
"Yeah?" he asked sympathetically, urging her to explain if she wanted.
"Yeah. But it turned out okay! He didn't act any different so it was fine. It was mostly just awkward. He's also so freaking loud. You would not believe how much louder he and Karl get when they're together."
"I can imagine. Aren't they doing a stream right now or something?"
"Yeah, I think so. I don't wanna watch though, I've had enough of them for the month."
Dream laughed. "How will you deal with them together for New Years'? It'll be for like two weeks."
"Who knows if I'll actually go?"
"Wait, what?" he asked abruptly, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice. His keyboard stopped clicking and she could picture him staring at his phone as if looking at her. "Of course you're going."
"Not if you don't eat food! You have, like, 3 minutes to eat something until I officially am busy doing other things whenever the trip is."
Dream groaned and clicked a few things on his computer before the image on the screen became blurry as he walked through the house, still pointing it at the ceiling. She looked away again and kept painting.
"Quackity's really funny though," she continued. "It was super awkward at first but it was fun to have someone else to help me make fun of Karl."
"Wait, Bug," Dream called out over the sound of wrappers crinkling.
"Hm?" She hummed, continuing to paint.
"Bug," his voice was much softer and he sounded nervous.
She looked at her screen and dropped the paintbrush as she focused on what she saw, grabbing her phone and holding it closer to her face so she could see, still making sure she wasn't in view. All the anxiety from the beginning of the FaceTime suddenly came back and hit her like a truck. Sitting on her screen, waiting to be seen, was Dream. His hood was up, tufts of blonde hair sticking out, and he was standing with his back towards a dark room, the dim light from his pantry making his face just visible.
He held up a cookie in front of his actual, real face. "Are you watching?"
"Y-yea... I... Yeah. I'm watching. Is that really you?"
He nodded once before shoving the cookie in his mouth. "There, I consumed food," he announced, his voice muffled by the cookie. "Now you're legally obligated to come."
"I—What? CLAY! WHAT?"
"What?" he asked innocently as he chewed, walking back to his room and still holding the phone up to show his face. His room light was on, making his face much more visible. If Y/n thought he was attractive in the harsh pantry light, he must have looked like a god in his room lighting, even as pixelated as he was due to the quality of FaceTime. He fell on his bed and Y/n could only gape at his features. He slumped against his headboard, surrounded by roughly a thousand pillows, sporting a small, shy smile as he stared at the screen. "Bug, what?"
She opened her mouth but no words came out. Needless to say, he was unbelievably handsome. Part of the speechlessness was from the shock that he showed his face out of the blue, but obviously, the majority of it was that he was pretty much the most attractive person she'd ever seen. It should be illegal for someone to look that good in a hoodie, especially when pixelated.
"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "Wanna take back what you said earlier?" He bit into another cookie.
"W-what did I say earlier?" Why was she stuttering???
"You said you don't wanna see me and that I'm ugly," he teased.
She paused for too many seconds too long before finally muttering, "you arrogant son of a bitch." He laughed loudly at that.
His eyes crinkled and he threw his head back. So that's what he looks like when he wheezes, she thought to herself, pretty.
Dream shuffled his position on his bed and rested his head on one of his hands. He looked so comfy. "Why are you so quiet, weirdo?" he mumbled.
She set her phone back down and touched her cheeks with her hands and looked away for a moment, grounding herself to the real world for a second. She couldn't process her thoughts when she was staring at a man as gorgeous as Clay. "I don't know, maybe because you gave me no warning before showing me your face? Or because you failed to mention that you're incredibly hot?"
She was so glad she had looked back at her phone or else she would have missed the glorious sight of his cheeks turning bright red before he turned the camera back to his ceiling. "Oh my gosh."
"Aw cute, I made you blush."
"Shut up," he mumbled. "You threatened to not come if I didn't eat something!"
"You didn't have to—you showed me your freaking face just to prove you ate a cookie!! DREAM! I would have believed you if you just said you ate something!" she laughed breathlessly, staring at the phone now for a chance to see him again. "I was joking anyway!"
"Sure you were."
"I was."
"Well, oh well. You deserved to see me anyway."
"Oh, I deserve to see you?" She laughed. "How big is your ego?"
"You know what I meant," he groaned. "You got doxxed by Karl and you met Quackity in person. And you've clearly had a bad day because of all the hate and stuff. You've done a lot of stressful things recently and you deserved to be let in on a secret too."
He was so sweet. Like, tooth-rotting, Halloween candy stash hidden under a kid's bed, upset tummy sweet. She also couldn't get over the fact that he was a million times cuter when he was shy like he was being now, his voice soft and unsure. It contrasted vastly with the confident, loud-mouthed Dream everyone usually saw, though she liked that Dream too. She wished he could show his face for just one more second to see what he looked like shy. Probably sickeningly adorable.
This was it, wasn't it? The chance she had been waiting for to tell him her name? He just let her in on his biggest secret, now he was the one deserving to be let in.
"Y/n," she said with a confident, but soft voice.
There was a long pause. "W-what?"
"Y/n."
He understood the second time immediately. "Y/n..." he tested, the smile in his voice clear as day. "I like it."
"Yeah, well, I guess you deserved to know the secret too."
"I would have been content never knowing."
"Really?" She didn't believe him. He seemed like the type to never be satisfied, always looking for something better. Not in a greedy way, but in a motivational, goal-oriented big achiever way.
"Really," he hummed. "I already feel like you're too good to be true so I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't a real person."
It was silent as she tried to collect her thoughts.
"Bug? You okay?"
"Yeah, I... it's just a lot."
"Sorry."
"No, it's not you. Well... I don't know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say when you say things like that," she admitted.
He paused. "I think you always have the perfect responses when I say things like that."
"What do I usually say?" She smiled shyly, pulling her hoodie up to her lips.
"You usually call me a nerd or say you can't stand me. 'Oh my gosh I cannot stand you'," he mimicked before laughing.
"What? How is that the perfect response to you saying you can't believe I'm real?"
He hummed and she could practically hear him shrugging. "Because it's a classic Bug response. It's a hundred perfect you. So yeah, it's perfect."
She was silent, trying to compose herself before she exploded.
"By the way, check Twitter."
"Why, are you bragging about me calling you hot?" she teased, hoping to make him blush like she had earlier. It worked.
"Oh my gosh, no. Just look."
She clicked her home button and navigated to the app, her feed instantly flooding with the same similar messages.
"Oh, my gosh," she muttered, her fingers flying away as she typed out her own tweet in response to the love.
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Dream chuckled from the other end and when she asked him why, he vaguely said that George texted him but didn't explain further.
"Um, I have to go," she said mournfully. "Karl and Quackity are coming over again."
"Booooo," he pouted.
"Sorry, you aren't the only man in my life," she teased before instantly regretting her choice of words. Too flirty, Y/n, she thought to herself.
"Hm, shame. Am I at least at the top of the list?"
She bit her lips, wanting desperately to repeat what she had told him on their Minecraft date. In the end, she gave in. "I always mean what I say too," she started. "You're my main bitch, baby."
Dream made some sort of sound, a mix of a scoff and a whine but Y/n didn't comment on it, just glowing with heat in her cheeks.
"Leave before I don't let you," he said softly and the heat only grew.
"Goodnight, Dream," she pressed, the tone in her voice letting him know he was being a tease. "Thanks for... thanks for your tweet. And for everything you said earlier."
"Of course. Sorry that you have to see those kinds of things a lot."
"It's okay when I have people like you."
"People like me? What does that mean?"
"Just.... people like you." Cute, sweet, kind, genuine people who make her heart flutter.
She could hear his smile in his words and she figured he knew the unspoken words in her thoughts, the ones she was saying without saying. "Okay. Goodnight, Y/n."
"Goodnight."
**********
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because-of-a-friend · 3 years ago
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Painter!Myungho x Lawyer!Reader
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MASTERLIST
Thank you so much to @naviercallisto for the request (will try to edit this later bc it’s not letting me actually tag you which is weird)! I changed the prompt ever so slightly but the overall idea is the same! I really hope you like it, I’m not sure how well I did... But I am so in love with this idea and all the inspiration you gave me!!!!
Remember gifs are never mine and the link to the OP will always be available, go give them some love if you like their work!!!!
Warnings: Mentions eating, reader is female (I try to keep it gn unless requested otherwise), some mentions of sexism (Let me know if I missed any!!!)
Word Count: 4.7k
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You were honestly dreading the portrait. You had never enjoyed having your picture taken in any way or form, so the idea of having an image of yourself immortalized with paint on canvas made your stomach churn.
It was apparently a tradition at the firm you had just started at. Each of their lawyers had a portrait commissioned to hang up in a row down one of the hallways. You had remembered seeing them when you first went in for your initial interview, but you hadn’t realized that they were such an important aspect of the office, or that you would be required to get one done for yourself.
It wasn’t enough to be a deal breaker, you enjoyed working at the firm and had gotten along with your coworkers better than you had at past offices. But the portrait still felt like a problem to you. And according to your boss, no number of arguments, even from a great lawyer like yourself, could get you out of it.
To make matters worse, the artist who had been commissioned to do all of the past portraits had moved across the country and was unable to do yours. This meant you and your secretary had to select a new artist to paint your portrait. And while you had never met the artist who did the portraits of your colleagues, and therefore had no attachment to them whatsoever; the idea of not having the same person do yours added another level of anxiety to the situation.
When you arrived for work in the morning, the line of portraits haunted you as you made your way to your office.
“Ms. [L/N]!” your secretary calls out to grab your attention before you walk into your own personal work space.
“Yes?” you ask, making your way over to her desk.
“I have a list of artists who are available and can be commissioned to do a portrait,” she handed you a stack of laminated papers filled with pages of contact info and reference photos.
“Thank you, Jisoo,” you smiled. “I’ll let you know when I pick one!”
You sighed heavily as you shoulder open the door to your office. At least thumbing through these papers would be an excuse to start actual work a little later. You hang your bag and coat on the rack by the door. You push a pile of papers out of the way to go through the stack Jisoo had handed you.
You tried not to notice that the majority of the artists painted portraits in a style similar to baroque, all of their female subjects made to look dainty and always entirely captured in pastels. That must have been a tip Jisoo had received from your boss. While all of your male colleagues had caused you no trouble, the big boss had made several comments about you being a “female lawyer.” Getting a portrait in this style would not only demean you but also make yours stick out like a sore thumb in that long line of serious, warm-toned ones. You had no doubt that your boss had been breathing down your poor secretary’s shoulder as she searched through artists for your portrait.
You silently thanked Jisoo when you noticed she had managed to sneak more of a variety of artists at the bottom of the stack. You pulled out the few that seemed to be able to create a portrait that would resemble those of your colleagues.
One of the artist profiles catches your eye. For a moment you couldn’t understand why Jisoo had included him. It seemed as if most of his works were abstract, just random splashes of color and shape. They were beautiful, you thought, but none of them exactly worked in place of a portrait.
Then you turned the page to see that Jisoo had included a portrait he had painted.
It was beautiful.
You looked at the description. It was just a casual portrait he had done of his friends. But it was so… breathtaking. You felt as though you could see the subject’s entire life and personality contained within the picture.
You thumbed back to the artist’s information page, wanting to learn more.
Xu Myungho.
“Whenever I paint portraits, I prefer to really know and understand my subjects first. I have a process of getting to know someone and understand what they want from their portrait. If I am not painting in a way that honors that person and represents them accurately, then why am I painting their portrait at all?”
You had to admit that this part of his profile was appealing. If he had a whole process, then that meant you could delay the existence of your portrait for a bit longer.
Also, there was a small, selfish part of you that said: If I’m going to have a portrait of myself, I want it to look as nice as this one.
You walked back out of your office and handed the profile back to Jisoo, “Let’s contact this one.”
“Xu Myungho?” she confirmed, looking up at you after glancing at the paper.
“Yes, that one,” you affirmed. “Let me know if and when you get a response.”
*****
He had a kind face.
That was your immediate thought upon meeting him. His features were soft and his smile was gentle.
He had requested to meet you in a coffee shop. It was small and very quiet. There were beautiful slanted sky lights, exposing the whole place to the glow of the early morning sun.
He didn’t look how you thought he would based off his art. You knew better than to believe that artists would dress sluggishly or that you could guess how someone would present themselves based off of what kind of art they made. But you were still surprised to see him so well dressed and well kept. He obviously cared for his presentation. You would think he was living a corporate lifestyle.
He carried a camera with him.
“Oh, I’m into photography too. And well… you never know when you’ll find something that inspires you,” he explained when you asked about it.
You liked the way he spoke. His answers were simple and yet held so much meaning. But he wasn’t pretentious about it. He was just himself.
His personality was as kind as his face. He was very sensitive to your hesitations and didn’t judge your predicament.
“If you’re nervous about it, we’ll take this slow. We can run through a number of options on how to style it. You said you didn’t want yours to stick out too much, correct? Would you mind if I came to the office to take some reference photos of the other portraits?” Myungho suggested.
“Not at all! I work regular office hours for the rest of the week, so you can stop by anytime!” you offer.
“Perfect!” he said taking a note in his planner. “Also, I assume you read my piece on portrait commissions? I hope you don’t mind if I ask to meet you often as I work on this…” Myungho searches your expression for a reaction.
“Oh! I don’t mind at all!” you assure. “To be honest, I just moved here. It would be nice to have an excuse to get out and explore a little!” Myungho nods and smiles as he listens, his hand absentmindedly taking notes as you speak.
The first meeting is brief. Myungho merely wants to know what the project is for and set up a schedule for your next meeting. Although you hadn’t been with him for very long, you left the meeting feeling at ease. You could already tell that working with Myungho would not cause you the amount of anxiety you had anticipated.
*****
“Is that the sexist one?” Myungho whispered to you, pointing at the picture of your boss and nudging you.
You laughed in response, feeling validated by Myungho’s notice of your boss’s behavior. His nose had sort of scrunched up earlier when you showed him the other artists your boss had told your secretary to suggest to you. “Not that I don’t respect these artists or think they’re talented, but…” he thumbed through the pages and pages of pink and blue pastel, “It’s obvious that he’s treating you differently since you’re a female lawyer.”
You hadn’t even had to complain to Myungho about it, he had picked up your boss’s subtle sexism himself. But work had to be done so instead of ranting, he simply ‘tsked’ and set down the photos so you could show him the portraits of your colleagues.
He took out his camera to click a few photos of the other portraits, “So as far as feeling…” he starts off before pulling back to check a setting on his camera. He pulls the device back up to his eye and talks slowly as he continues taking references, “Did you want to look more serious… or approachable?” His words are chosen carefully so as not to offend you in any way. You take a moment to once more appreciate how far Myungho goes to make sure you feel comfortable with him.
“I guess more approachable…” you trail off, “But…”
“Still respectable?” he guesses looking away from the camera for a moment to make eye contact with you as he awaits your answer.
“Exactly,” you confirm nodding your head.
Myungho stays silent for a moment, clicking through his camera to make sure he got all of the reference photos he wanted. Then he stares up at the actual paintings for a long while. You realize he’s inspecting their backgrounds. “Would you like for the setting to be here in the office? It seems as if theirs are placed somewhere like this,” he points out.
“Oh, I guess that would be a good idea. Whatever you can do to make mine as similar as possible. Would you like to take a look around the rest of the office?” you offer.
“Sure,” he gestures you to lead and follows after. “Do you think anyone here would know the exact measurements of the other canvases? I can probably guess the correct size, but I’d rather be absolutely sure before buying one for your portrait.”
“I’ll ask the head secretary later on and forward you whatever information she sends me!” you assure.
“Perfect,” he thanks. Myungho lets you lead him around, stopping you every once in awhile to take plenty of photos of different parts of the office. “I honestly think there are lots of places here that would provide a decent, simple, warm-toned background as the other portraits have,” Myungho comments. You simply nod in agreement. “How far am I allowed to go?” he asks suddenly.
“I’m sorry?” you ask, flustered by not understanding what he means.
“Oh, I mean like… I don’t want to interrupt your work,” he explains. “I’d like to see your daily process or even sit in on one of your trials? I’m supposed to be representing you as the professional you are. But I won’t do any of that if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“I think that should be fine… I just don’t know how entertaining it will be for you…” you say uneasily, not wanting him to get bored by your job. I mean, he was an artist. If you were being honest, most of your career was paperwork. You weren’t sure how much fun shadowing a lawyer would be to an artist.
“It’s fine,” he chuckled, taking a picture of a window at the end of one of the office hallways. “You’re my subject, so it’ll be fascinating to me.”
He assures you with a kind smile as you try to ignore the way your heart skips at his words.
*****
Myungho does end up accompanying you to one of your trials as well as shadowing you at work for a day. He only does each one once, though.
“See? I told you it’d be boring,” you tease him about it at your next meeting with each other, feeling a lot more friendly around him by this point.
“It’s not that. I just wanted to get a feel for how you are when you’re working. I got more than enough material from those two times,” Myungho holds up his journal as evidence. He was right, you could tell that many more pages had been used since the first time you had seen it. You guessed there must have been something he saw interesting in your work life. “Let’s go for a walk!” he suddenly suggests, getting up from his seat where the two of you had been drinking boba outside of a café.
“For what reason?” you ask but follow his lead.
He shrugs, “I want to ask you a few questions, but I believe sometimes we think better when we’re moving rather than when we’re sitting still.” Myungho sets off. There was a park near this area, you were sure he was leading you there.
It was spring. The trees and flowers were blooming. Petals were falling.
“Why did you become a lawyer, then?” Myungho asks, pulling his camera out and beginning to inspect its current settings.
“I guess for the same reasons anyone becomes a lawyer. A sense of justice? Wanting to help people?” you shrug. In your heart you knew that wasn’t actually true of all lawyers and that there was corruption in your profession as there was in any other. But you had always tried to do your best to bring true justice.
“It was nice to see you sticking up for the little guy in the courtroom,” Myungho comments, starting to take pictures at this point.
You shrug, watching his process of photography as you speak, “It was just the case I was given. I’ll probably keep getting smaller cases like that until I’m no longer considered the newbie of the office.”
“Did you always want to be a lawyer?” Myungho signals for the two of you to walk a bit further, obviously taking interest in a tree a bit further down the walkway.
“I don’t think so…” you think for a moment. “I went through a bunch of dreams as a kid and in high school as lots of people do. Then one day my friend mentioned she could picture me as a lawyer and it all sort of just… clicked?”
“That makes sense,” Myungho pauses to get an angle on the tree before bringing his camera up once more. “Sometimes all it takes is someone saying it straightforward, out loud.” After snapping a few pictures of the tree, he lets his camera fall to hang from the strap around his neck. He takes his journal out and scribbles some more notes.
“I know you’re the one that’s supposed to be asking the questions, but I’m curious… What do your notes look like? Are they all just about how boring and predictable I am?” you joke.
Myungho shakes his head as he smiles. “How many times I’ve called you boring in my journal is a secret,” he teases.
You laugh, once again noticing the ever-rising level of comfort and understanding between the two of you as you mess with each other, “But seriously, I’m not allowed to know what you’re writing about me?  What about after my portrait is done?”
Myungho simply shakes his head at you. A firm no. That’s your answer. “Besides,” he says, pulling his camera back up after pocketing the journal, “we don’t have time for that. I still have plenty of incredibly important questions to ask you.”
“Like what?” your curiosity is genuine.  
“What’s your favorite color?” Myungho asks with the smuggest grin, only barely managing to avoid your arm as you swat at him.
*****
Myungho actually starts your portrait the following week. He was only working on the background, but since he started, your meetings had gone down considerably.
“I’ll probably ask to meet you a lot more once I begin on painting your actual person, but I feel like I’ve already been bothering you too much, so I’ll let you have a break from me for now,” he had explained, smiling as gently as you always did.
You felt pathetic from how much you missed him. You told yourself it was because you had just moved, you hadn’t made enough friends yet.
But at the same time…
A friendship with Myungho had felt easier than any other you’d had. It was like… you two were pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly. You always understood how he spoke and what he meant. He never judged any of your hesitations despite being so outgoing himself. Conversation flowed naturally between the two of you and you never felt afraid to tell him anything.
Maybe it was just your desperation for friendship, but…
*****
You smiled at the pictures Myungho sent you as he worked on your portrait. It was still just the background but you could tell he had chosen your personal office as the setting. It was incredibly detailed and accurate. He only sent you small portions as a preview but you could see that the lighting was a soft blue coming from the window. The tones he had included would compliment the portraits of your colleagues well.
“When I finally start on you, how the portrait looks will have to remain a secret to the end.”
You roll your eyes at the text; you should’ve known he’d pull something like this.
*****
“Shouldn’t you have enough reference photos to paint me?” you ask Myungho as he sits quietly in the corner of your office. The canvas was turned so you couldn’t see the front of it at all. And Myungho had efficiently threatened you out of trying to take a look.
“I do,” he agreed, nodding his head, “but sometimes you get to a feature on a person that’s difficult to pin down and it’s best to have the real thing for reference.” He winks at you as he finishes speaking. It’s a daring move on his part, but you receive it well, returning a bright smile.
“Are you going to show anyone else before it’s done, or is everyone besides you forbidden from seeing it before your masterpiece is completed?” you ask, fanning through some papers.
“I will reveal it to only you once it’s done. After that you will get to decide if you like it, or if I owe you a whole new painting from scratch,” Myungho’s eyes never leave the canvas.
“I highly doubt that will happen,” your mind drifts to the small previews of the painting you had seen. You also thought of the original portrait that had convinced you to contact him in the first place. There was no way you’d dislike what he made. You were sure of it. “Are you really planning on staying for my whole work day?”
“The longer I stay, the more of this painting gets done,” Myungho explains simply.
“I tend to work a little late…” you test, seeing how he’ll react.
“That’s fine. I guess you’ll just have to treat me to dinner to make up for my overtime,” Myungho beams into his work.
“Fine, but I pick where we eat.”
“Deal.”
*****
Myungho asked you plenty more questions at dinner, but this time, his journal did not appear once. The two of you simply speak back and forth, finding out more and more about each other. You laugh and laugh. And hours pass. And you two don’t notice.
Myungho allows you to ask him all sorts of questions about his life and his art, finally opening up the doors to you that you had already opened for him.
“I really missed you,” you blurt out suddenly, halfway through dinner. Myungho looks genuinely surprised since the first time you met him. You immediately feel heat move up your face and out to your ears. “I just mean… you know, when we weren’t seeing each other as often. I missed actually having a friend around here and-”
Myungho grabs your hand, fingers fully lacing with yours. That gentle smile is present as he looks into your eyes, “I missed you, too.”
*****
You grow somewhat anxious as your portrait is nearing completion. Myungho had admitted he valued you as a friend too, but what if that was just to please a client? What if as soon as the portrait was done, he disappeared completely from your life?
You watched carefully every day as Myungho worked, seeing him paint smaller and smaller areas with more specific and detailed strokes.
You were also anxious to see the finished piece. You found yourself staring down at the reference portrait Jisoo had given you that Myungho had painted. It was so breathtaking every time. You wondered, though, if there was enough to you in order to create a portrait like that.
*****
“Yeah, I’ll have to leave right after I’m done with your portrait,” Myungho explained, dropping a paintbrush into a jar of water.
“Do you do that often? Leave town for work?” you ask, trying to mask how much your heart hurts from the idea that Myungho will just up and leave as soon as he’s done painting your portrait. It was stupid to feel like that anyways, he had no obligation to stay in town just because you wanted him to.  
“Sometimes, it honestly just depends on the clientele I’m getting,” Myungho’s tone feels different than usual. Was he possibly nervous to tell you he’d be gone?
“How long will you be away?” you had tried faking your apathy by staring at your computer screen. The truth was, you hadn’t been able to read a single word on it.
“Just a couple of weeks, it’s going to be a really simple piece,” he assures.
You only nod.
*****
“Sorry I couldn’t be here to reveal it to you myself.”
That was all the note had said. You had found it on your desk that morning after Jisoo had informed you that your portrait had already been hung in the hall.
You didn’t want to see it… but you also really did.
You found Jisoo already standing in the hall, staring up at it. Her expression only added to your anxiety. What was that? Disgust? Interest? Approval?
You act as cavalier as possible when you stroll up next to her. You’re trying to think of a casual conversation starter but you fall quiet as the painting finally graces your sight.
It’s a simple picture, you sitting at your desk, looking out at the spectator, obviously midway through working on something. As you had already noticed from the preview photos, the lighting is soft and blue. It illuminates you from the window behind your person. The colors and tone go along perfectly with the other portraits. The detail is impeccable. And your expression… Myungho had landed right on the line of approachable and respectable. But the real kicker was…
“Your eyes,” Jisoo speaks your thoughts out loud. “I don’t know how he did that… I don’t want to sound dramatic but it’s like… I don’t know… There’s a universe in them… He must see something really… beautiful…” Jisoo trails off realizing she’s absentmindedly speaking her own thoughts. She straightens herself out and glances at you, “Sorry if I misspoke.”
You shake her head, knowing she must be experiencing what you felt when you saw a portrait by Myungho for the first time, “It’s alright, Jisoo.”
“The guys are going to be so jealous of your portrait,” Jisoo laughs. You give her a genuine smile for a moment, unable to pull your eyes away from the painting for much longer.
*****
Myungho had requested a follow-up meeting to confirm that you were satisfied with his work. The two of you met at a food truck in a park.
“Sorry I asked you to meet so late, but I wanted to see you as soon as I got back,” Myungho says as he hands the vendor money for both of your food. You can tell he had been travelling. It was the first time you had seen him in casual clothing and with his usual slicked back hair in an un-styled look.
He seemed so… cute like this.
Myungho had ended up having to stay for three weeks on his trip. Since he was busy with the client, he didn’t contact you often. You tried not to be clingy about it, but couldn’t help sending a couple texts asking how he was doing. Every time his response was just that he was doing well and he was sorry he wasn’t there.
You still weren’t exactly sure where you stood with him. He had already been paid for his work by your firm. But the follow up could still just be pleasing a customer in order to maintain a good reputation.
It felt sort of embarrassing to be so desperate to see him without even knowing if he truly cared for you.
Myungho leads the two of you along the park path. You try to stop yourself from staring shamelessly at this more natural looking Myungho in the yellow park lights. He looks ironically cozy in the loose denim jacket he’s donning.
“So, I’m afraid to ask since you haven’t brought it up, but… The painting?” Myungho searches your face for a tell on what you’ll say to him.
“I love it a lot,” you say quietly, almost too embarrassed to expose all of your true feelings on the subject.
“Is that it?” Myungho actually giggles, pushing his face closer to yours.
“I can’t really explain it. I just know that I love it,” you offer. Myungho nods and accepts this answer. The two of you slowly step along in silence. It’s comfortable, being in his presence. You’re terrified of what it will feel like if this ends.
You let yourself look back up at Myungho again only to see he looks quite nervous himself. You’re about to ask what’s wrong when you see him sneak a glance down to your hand. Your gaze follows his only to see his hand slowly inching closer to yours. Warmth blossoms in your chest and you can’t stop the smile that pushes across your face.
You help him by closing the gap, fully grasping his hand with yours.
Myungho has the cutest smile on his face as he stares down at your joint hands, beginning to rub his thumb against your skin.
“You know… I don’t actually meet with clients this often,” Myungho admits quickly before clearing his throat. “I don’t know if that’s selfish of me to want to get to know you more and spend more time with you.”
You stop walking and tug on Myungho’s hand to get him to do the same, “Well, I supposed I did guilt you a bit with all that talk of not having anyone else I know here.”
Myungho shakes his head, “I wanted to spend time with you, I really did. I like you a lot.” You smile up at him. Myungho reaches up with his other hand to take firm hold of the side of your face. You feel his thumb brush gently across your cheek. The feeling of his skin against yours leaves your mind fuzzy with excitement. “[Y/N]?” Myungho’s eyes ceaselessly searching into yours. “Can I?”
You nod immediately, not even fully caring what he’s asking for.
Myungho steps closer and leans in to press his lips softly against yours. It’s only for a moment before he pulls back. His hand leaves your face to grab the back of your head, holding it still as he changes the angle of his head so his lips can meet your forehead this time.
“Can we plan a real date?” he asks, keeping his face close to yours.
You nod enthusiastically, giving him a big smile before pressing a kiss of your own against his nose. “I have a question, though…”
“What is it?” Myungho’s hand strokes carefully through your hair.
“Is your girlfriend allowed to read your journal?” you give him your best puppy-dog eyes.
“I’m breaking up with you,” Myungho teases, shaking his head and reaching up to pinch your nose.
“Not even a peak?” you tease back, running after him as he starts off the path again.
The sound of your and Myungho’s laughter fills the air as you two chase each other around the park, attacking each other with sweet kisses when you manage to catch the other.
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sashannarcy · 3 years ago
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hi op what are your thoughts on uhhhh *spins wheel* sasha's season 2b arc (hope that's not too broad a subject)
edit: putting this under a cut bc it got LONG but. enjoy (???)
okay I gotta start by saying I didn't expect the depth of it at ALL; I knew Sash was featured prominently in the ending episodes of s2 based off of what my friend informed me, but like. I was not expecting 4.5 episodes to be almost ENTIRELY centered on their character arc and design (the .5 being the first half of True Colors).
that being said, I think Sash's 2b arc is PHENOMENAL bc of the way the nuance in it is written so incredibly well. this character is about to perform the most antagonistic move that they've pulled in the whole series so far, which is the act of betraying both Anne and Marcy in order to support Grime and get them home safe, if they so choose to go home (as an aside, I think at this point Sash has probably decided that she likes it more in Amphibia than back home, and there's one line that I'll get to that seems to be VERYYYY indicative of that. and if this is the case, it makes sense to me why Sasha would want to help Grime at all and why they don't really seem quite eager to follow Anne and Marcy back home. but! important to note that they still give those two the choice to go back if they wish, because at the end of the day Sash loves them and wouldn't try to force them to stay). and yet we see!! this back and forth!! this FIGHT that's happening in their mind, the way there's a flash of guilt they express at the very end of The Third Temple directly after confirming to Grime that things are still going according to plan, their convo w Anne at the end of The Dinner, the entire plot arc of BotB, and ofc the Sashanne duel in True Colors. I want to make an analysis post for each of these episodes because they're so fucking PACKED w shit to analyze, but I'll try my best to touch on all points here.
obviously we first learn of Sasha's plans to betray Anne and Marcy in The Third Temple. but what's important is that throughout the entire episode, there's several points where Sash switches back and forth between manipulation and honesty. I can talk abt this w confidence just based off of the whole. *gestures vaguely at myself.* but Sasha's initial apology in this episode was sheer manipulation, I think we all know that. however, when Sasha has to do their final test in the temple, those few lines they exchange w Anne in the moments before they raise themself up off the floor and launch themself into battle... those were genuine. they know they've been a shitty friend, and they're willing to accept that. so you have this game, almost, where Sash keeps flipping between putting on a mask to ensure they can keep up their facade until Grime secures the city and genuinely acknowledging their behavior and knowing that what they are doing is not going to sit well w Anne and Marcy.
so with that, The Third Temple sets the premise for the rest of the episodes of the season as far as Sasha's character arc. The Dinner is such a good fucking episode to follow with, because it hammers in the fact that Sasha has not changed. what it ALSO hammers in is she is still acting in her own self-interest - to put it in her words, she wants to get the friendship back under control. they still lash out, they still have a short fuse, they're still heavily opinionated and rough around the edges and prickly because this is an environment where they feel threatened. they're finally reuniting with the two people that mean the absolute most to them, only to realize they've been left out of the narrative. also not for nothing, but their trauma in Reunion got joked about in this episode which led to them blowing up over it, and like. I'm giving that one a pass bc man. anyway. at the end of the episode they say they like who they are, but it's said with a frown, which I think is fucking GENIUS. because there's an actual meaning to this line - they don't ACTUALLY like who they are. we have plenty of evidence that they don't like themself. what they MEAN is that they don't want to change, because that would mean giving up a security that they need in order to keep themself together. AND THIS IS DEMONSTRATED CRYSTAL CLEAR IN BOTB. they literally PURPOSEFULLY detach themself from Anne and Marcy bc they know they want control but they ALSO know that their behavior is just going to hurt the other two, so instead of compromising, they just go hey I'm gonna do my thing and you guys can do yours. and we'll both get what we want. and if that's not evidence that this character is fucking GRAPPLING with how to grow and change as a person, idk what is
and then. sigh. we get to True Colors. ofc Sash goes through on their betrayal - they're loyal to a fucking T once you dig beneath the surface, and they wouldn't just not follow through for Grime. what is absolutely KEY here is the fact that they are still leaving room for their friends' best interests, as in they're not trapping them in Amphibia but rather explaining how they're gonna help Grime take over, implying they'll go back home once they're done, but if Anne and Marcy wanna go back now, that's cool. if she didn't give a fuck abt their wellbeing, she'd just keep them there w her. but she doesn't. and then Anne starts retaliating, and. well. we ALL know Sasha does NOT do well with criticism of any kind. so they just go okay I'll send you back now then (and this is STILL an action motivated by what they think is best for Anne). BUT THE LINE. OHHHH THE SUPER IMPORTANT LINE THAT MADE MY HEAD SNAP UP AND MADE ME PHYSICALLY GO "YIKES" OUT LOUD. is Sasha saying "say hi to your parents for me." it's like a goddamn full-on sucker punch packed into one sentence - seven words, and all of a sudden we know for sure this kid does not have a good home life. I could go into elaboration on Sasha and the way she views familial ties throughout the show, but I won't bc that's gonna take this already super long answer and make it even worse. regardless, Sasha has once again flipped the switch and is indulging in their worst behaviors, which is full on controlling and holding power to act on what THEY think is best in the moment. and the moment Anne snaps, the moment Anne yells about Sasha being a horrible person, literally EVERYTHING shifts and the reaction from Sasha is VISCERAL. and what I mean by that is. it's not just the look in their eyes at those words. it's not just the sudden and complete loss of meaning, of self, of motivation after they've lost Anne's support. it's not just the way they stare at their own reflection in a sword that represents the color of the person they're trying their hardest to protect. it's the way that for the rest of the goddamn episode, they spend it trying to do the one thing they fear the most: giving up control. I'm gonna elaborate on this whole aspect in a different ask bc I was asked abt it, but the way Sasha acts towards Anne after the fallout, especially at the beginning of the duel and during the confrontation w Andrias, is fucking monumental. they struggle so much with how to change their own behavior, yet the very moment they lose the support of the people they've been trying so hard to love and care for in their roundabout way, they can change the way they act. because who the fuck is Sasha Waybright without Anne Boonchuy and Marcy Wu? in her mind, no one. she doesn't have any idea of who she is outside of this, so ofc she can act differently when she's thrown out in the cold. after all, it doesn't take much to warp an identity that doesn't exist.
tldr; god. how do I sum this up. Sash's 2b arc is smth that's incredibly intricate and complex from the way they constantly flip between desperately needing control and feeling guilty that this is the way they need to live. and True Colors is able to finally demonstrate to us the final piece in how they operate - without their friends, they lose sense of who they are, and their personality comes undone. in 4.5 episodes the writers managed to give us 1000 aspects to their character that we hadn't gotten to explore, and we can see that Sasha was never meant to be the villain. so. final review is that's some good shit👍
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tsp-freedomnarry · 2 years ago
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So uh, apparently for many RP blogs they make a proper intro then what I have. I've been sitting on how to do that, especially with the rules being pinned. So I think I'll just link this inside the rules as not to clog it up or edit it too heavily.
So let's see what we can do for a proper introduction.
[Also, any art references for Narry that you need is below the cut too!]
[Slight rule update for clarifications on: 5/18/22]
Hello, my name is Brandon! To a lot of you, you might refer to me as Narrator, and I think I've heard the occasional person call me "Narry" for short? Eh, it's cute. "Nar" (like hair but n instead) also works. I'm not picky. Let's see... Some facts next?
I'm Pansexual and I use He/Him pronouns!
I'm 6'5 (yes, "the weather up here" is the same as yours, I assure you)
I'm an android. Uh... Don't ask. I don't wanna talk about Aperture. I was first powered on in 1983 making me 39 as of right now. (Though I feel like it would be more accurate if I was 60...)
I have diagnosed ADHD! ...and Anxiety issues and Depression -Though! Though. I *SWEAR* I'm getting better with the latter two! ...I am *still* on medication though. Nope you know what don't tell them that.
I adore all types of musicals! (Hamilton, Beetlejuice, Six, Phantom of the Opera, amongst others just to name a few you'd regonize.) Video games too (I have quite the library. Some here I haven't admittedly gotten around to yet, but hey Dota 2, Dungeons 2 and 3, Minecraft, Firewatch, and Rocket League just to name a few.)
I don't really have a favorite book genre, I'll basically read anything you give me to be perfectly honest.
I uh... Don't know how else to describe myself, so I guess that's it. Nice to meet everyone!
[And this is where mun takes over! Hi y'all! Sorry the introduction is so late for RPs, I've been trying to draw up a reference for Brandon/Narry, but finally here it is! ^^ (I should mention that the three digits I draw on my characters are a personal style choice bc it's just easier to draw that way for me)]
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[Yes, there are some key facts about the office/the Parable you should know about. You do not NEED to read all of this to RP, but it will explain some decisions in any RPs I do within Brandon's AU world. I will highlight it in green so you know when I stop rambling about it.]
[First that isn't mentioned in the ref is I call it the Parable because that mindscape isn't limited to the office (Ex: The apartments, The Memory Zone etc.) So thus it all can be changed into pretty much anything Narrator wants, but it's usually limited to a couple of small rooms or one big room bc building it takes a FUCK TON of energy to model, texture it, and make it possibly interactive. Thus most things are either pre built (The office) or are built up over a long time (The Baby Game is a WIP for example.) Since the Memory Zone is connected to Narry's memories, (well mostly anyways) it's the exception, not the rule.]
[His Parable exists when him and at least one Test Subject is hooked up into a sort of subconscious test via long term relaxation sort of thing. So think that they share a dream/coma together. (Also when forth wall breaks happen, that's because he's SUPPOSE to either call it a video game or a story. It's what he was told to do. And the "player" is the actual Test Subject. He is NOT allowed to tell the Test Subject they're being tested. If one is to be hooked up and NOT be a Test Subject, however, he is free to tell them what's going on.)]
[Test Subjects can remain in the Parable even if for some reason Narry is unplugged from the Parable. (All the be right back things in game isn't related to that and he's doing something else in his Narration room, because him unplugging would be from the outside, like a scientist wanting to do maintenance on him.) HOWEVER Narrator does need at least one (1) Test Subject plugged in for him to access and/or stay inside the Parable.]
[While inside the Parable, Brandon can soft teleport in a sense. He can hop between going to his Narration room, (This is when you hear him in TSP and he's always overhead no matter where you are) where he can see the full testing grounds without being in the field as to not be in the way or break emersion and he generally narrates from there, or he could teleport to the Test Subjects' current location. Essentially he is either by your side/uses you as a way to pop down to the office, or he's narrating in the room with the story script. He cannot teleport anywhere he pleases.]
[OK AND WITH ALLLLLLL OF THAT OUT OF THE WAY, a few more tiny things.]
[If you start an RP and want this blogs' Narrator to interact; Please specify if it's Pre-Freedom!Narry or Freedom!Narry this is so I know if you are interacting with him inside the Parable or you want him as the Narrator or something else entirely.]
[This blog is non-selective and will roleplay with anyone, so long as any relations in the RP stay platonic. No romance.]
[Violence and hurting either versions of Narrator depend on the amount of intensity. Nothing graphic or violently gory, but if for some reason it makes sense RP wise for him to get punched, then you may deck him in the face. Is he gonna be happy with it? No, more than likely not, but you may if you feel it necessary. Emotionally is the same thing. If he needs to get knocked down a peg, go for it, but no mentally torturing him. (Ala Zen ending)]
[Much like the blogs rules, dark or existential themes, angst, suggestive jokes/language, and cursing are all allowed and the latter two are very common.]
[You may have to be the one to split up the posts. I'm on mobile and I don't know how to do it on here, otherwise I swear I'd do it myself.]
[If you want to RP on Discord instead of on Tumblr, please message me for the handle! ^^]
[And remember, no matter what, if ANYTHING that happens in an RP is accidentally uncomfortable to you, let me know in some way, and I will delete or edit it immediately.]
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solomonish · 4 years ago
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Not gonna lie, but I’m kinda curious about that aforementioned character playlists. . .
oh HELL yes my time has COME
so i really like making character playlists when i’m bored because it helps me get a feel for the character? and sometimes it’s just a lot of fun to put a song in there that doesn’t necessarily match and try to come up with a justification for it, you know? when i make playlists, some of the songs match them entirely, while some just give off a vibe with their genre or specific tune, others match because of the title, and some just have really good lyrics or a good line or two. sometimes i just add in a song i think they’d like to listen to! really, there’s not a lot of strict method between choosing songs, and i don’t stick to one specific type of music for any given playlist!
i have playlists for all seven brothers and solomon right now. the other nowdateables....i don’t have enough of a grasp on them right now to make a playlist for them? so they’re still upcoming. each playlist is subject to little tweaks, like adding or removing the occasional song, but most of the playlists are finished! The only two that might change the most are Beelzebub’s and Satan’s. Beel’s has the least songs and they’re all revolving around food and eating (at least the titles are) but i just......i don’t know his character well enough to branch out from that yet. Satan’s feels like I just shoved all of the songs i liked by fall out boy in a playlist and called it a day, so I’ll be reworking that one and tailoring it more to him instead of making it more like “hehe angery boy angy”
i am planning to make cute little playlist edits to properly introduce the playlists, but i can go ahead and give you a little intro to the playlists right now! 
and you can find all of my playlists right here! (spotify - might make them on youtube later!) ((double note: a few playlists had a couple kpop songs on them and recently some sort of deal with spotify expired so if you see gaps in the playlists, that’s why! feel free to ask what was there if you’re curious bc i think i remember? let’s hope anyway))
Solomon
Solomon’s is half a love letter (the beginning being a lot of love songs/songs meant to be sung to another person) and half a character playlist lol. His is the newest and it might be my favorite, but I don’t know if that’s because he’s my favorite or because of the songs. Probably both?
Favorite additions: Willow by Taylor Swift and Meet Me In The Woods by Lord Huron. Church by Aly & AJ is up there, too.
Lucifer
Lucifer’s is one where a lot of my decisions came from song title and vibe over actual content, but I still think a lot of it worked! His is the one with the most allusions to their angel days because he just...he’s the one who reminds me of it the most? He’s got a lot of songs titled “Halo” or “Oh My Dear Lord” or “Devil’s Den” and I’m not 100% sure why alksjlksdf. His is also the only one with his character song in it (though I’m probably gonna add Belphie’s into his) because those are the one’s I feel fit the vibes I already had in the playlists when the songs came out lol
Favorite Additions: The Lovers Dancing by Innerpartysystem, Saints by Echos, and Bubble by Danny Blu (Mr.Kitty Remix).
Mammon
Mammon’s has a lot of those songs that are like “haha i’m so rich and I’ve got chicks for days” while also having a lot of songs that are like “dance till we’re the last ones standing and it’s just you and me.” I feel like that kind of wanting the MC to himself fits without being too....eh? I don’t know? Too Much? He also has a lot of high-energy pop/house/edm/whatever because (especially after his character song came out) I feel like that’s what fits him!
Favorite Additions: Collide by Breathe Carolina, Inseparable by The Jonas Brothers, Big Plans by Why Don’t We.
Leviathan
Levi’s was the first one I made!! Although funnily enough I don’t have a lot to say about it? The music here is probably some of the most varied (or maybe i’m just making it up in my mind) and the songs range from “this describes levi” to “this describes being self conscious” to “this is about breaking out of the friend zone” to “pretty sure this song was popular in AMVs and nightcore” LOL but i think it ended up with being a really good playlist WITHOUT relying solely on like. anime OPs and EDs and vocaloid and stuff like that.
Favorite Additions: They Say You Won’t Come Back by Breathe Carolina, Just a Friend To You by Meghan Trainor, and Doubt by Twenty One Pilots.
Satan
Again, I’m not sure if my choices for him were genius or stupid but man did i make them. A lot of the beginning songs were me just trying to get a /feel/ for him because I’m still working out the balance between wrath and the rest of his personality so...subject to change but maybe not? Maybe I’ll just add a few less angry songs...but I still think what I have right now is good! I wouldn’t show you otherwise!
Favorite Additions: Look What You Made Me Do by Taylor Swift, Duality by Set It Off, and Anti-Gravity by RUNAGROUND.
Asmodeus
Asmo’s playlist feels like one you’d put on while getting ready to go out with The Girls if you know what I mean? It does deal heavily with like. partying and songs about sex but it’s not gross? I don’t know how to explain it without it sounding that way lol. It’s not ALL sex and partying but I wanted a playlist that sounded like the color pink without just being bubblegum pop. I don’t know, I think it works lol
Favorite Additions: BFF by Slayyyter and Ayesha Erotica, Death By Sex by Kim Petras, queen of broken hearts by blackbear
Beelzebub
This is the one I have the least to say about 👉👈😔 no beel disrespect I just have a hard time reading his personality and, at least as far as I’ve gotten, the story kinda puts him on the backburner. but! i’m pretty happy with the songs i did end up choosing, even if they almost all have titles regarding food alskdfjdk
Favorite Additions: Eat Your Heart Out by WALK THE MOON and Starving by Hailee Steinfeld
Belphegor
This one!! For the longest time this one used to be my favorite because it has the barest semblance of character development? It doesn’t have a story or anything and the order is all coincidence BUT i feel like if you at least go in expecting this, maybe you’ll get a sense of feeling him slowly change his attitudes towards MC and fall in love? maybe? I don’t know maybe I just really like belphie alkdsf
Favorite Additions: HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T by Fall Out Boy, Please Don’t Say by Breathe Carolina, hot girl bummer by blackbear
and these are my playlists!! Like I said, I’m hoping to make cute edits so I can make posts about them but maybe that won’t even happen and I’ll just scream about them into the void one day lol feel free to let me know what you think and give me any suggestions (especially for beel!!) no hard feelings if i don’t put in any suggested songs though, i may ask for help but I’m also Extremely Picky aksdfds
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ecto-american · 5 years ago
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Le Freak
Phic Phight Oneshot for @phantomroyalty : Natural born halfas (EX a child with one ghost parent and one human parent) used to be common place. Now they are all gone. What happened to them?
It’s been a rough day lads, and this is purely self-indulgent nonsensical headcanon stuff that I wrote while partly crying over stress! Thus, fun fact for you! You can’t critique or criticize this because if you do, I absolutely will cry again! I know it sucks, it jumps around and makes Zero Sense bc editing? idk her but I just need to be able to post my fun shit and have a good time  :’) I’ll even put literally everything under the cut
Word Count: 1814
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“Cas?” 
Danny looked up from his phone to glance at his mom before his eyes shifted to see who she was referring to. A dark skinned man about his mom’s height with black hair to his shoulders, in jeans and a dark yellow t-shirt was standing with a grocery cart. The man looked around confused for a moment before turning to his mom. Once facing her, he shot her a bright smile.
“Aye, Mads,” he called out cheerfully. 
“Oh, I haven’t seen you since college!” Maddie exclaimed, and Danny internally groaned. He returned his attention back to his phone, continuing to lean onto the grocery cart. He began to text his friends about the interruption. “I can’t believe you came to Amity Park and didn’t tell me!”
He heard his mom continuing to chat. His name soon came up, and he glanced up.
“This is my son, Danny.”
Cas was giving him a bright smile. Danny gave a polite half smile in return, only to freeze as ghost sense went off. He noticed at the end of the isle, a young adult turning the corner, in his early twenties with very long, light blonde hair. Super long, especially for a guy. Jean jacket and dark washed jeans, a regular black band t-shirt. Very ordinary. 
“Dad, they don’t have any salt,” he complained, but he paused upon seeing the conversation. 
“Oh, uh, this is my son, Peter,” Cas introduced briefly, and his entire demeanor shifted. Danny couldn’t help but completely forget the texting conversation. This dude was suddenly...so nervous. “Peter, this is Maddie. We went to college together.”
Peter didn’t come any closer to them. He gave a light, polite wave from afar, and Danny knew that he was staring at his mom...almost nervously. 
“I’m terribly sorry, but we need to get going,” Cas apologized. He pulled the grocery cart with him as he stepped towards his son. “Busy schedule. It was good seeing you!”
“Oh you too!” Maddie was cheerful, seemingly oblivious to the others. The father son duo left the isle, and out of sight. Danny watched after them.
“Where’d you know him from?” Danny wondered. He glanced to see Maddie putting some boxed dinners into their cart.
“Cas? He was an old classmate of your dad and I. Before Vlad, he worked on the portal with us, but ended up dropping out to care for his son, but I’m so glad to hear that he eventually went back and finished. He was always a very smart man,” Maddie replied. She glanced at the list in her hand. “We don’t have much more to get. Let’s try to get done before the rush really comes in.”
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“Phantom,” a voice called out to him. Danny glanced over to see Peter standing nearby. The halfa shot him a smile, capping his thermos and a light salute. Though inside he was a bit shaky. Was he really just? Watching that entire fight?
“Hello, citizen!” Danny put on his public hero voice. He paused, half turning away as he prepared to leave. “Well uh, ghost’s contained. I’ll see you around!”
“No!” Peter’s harsh, desperate plea caught him off guard. “Please. We need to talk. I know your secret.” Danny’s blood ran cold. 
“What secret?” Danny asked quickly. “There’s no secret. I’m a ghost, what secret could I have?”
Peter’s look, that absolute knowing, scared Danny. Despite it, he didn’t seem malicious like he had feared. 
“You can’t run, because I really, really actually need your help,” Peter asked. “I know you’re half ghost.” He hurriedly added at Danny’s panicked look, “But I don’t know who your human half is! I don’t care who either, I just really need to know how you’re so stable.” 
The entire statement caught Danny absolutely off guard. Peter wasn’t giving off any kind of vibe like he was with the Guys in White, nor that he was going to hurt him. He couldn’t even sense anybody else around, and he had been fighting in the area long enough to have already set off booby traps if they existed. And his ghost sense...had gone off around him sporadically. 
“What do you mean?” Danny asked. Peter’s lower lip trembled.
“I’m half ghost too,” he claimed. Danny stared, his heart stopping. “But I can’t...it’s literally killing me.”
“I don’t believe you,” he whispered. Peter motioned for him to move back a bit. Danny did.
There were no familiar rings or flash of light that always signaled his transformation. A dark shadow seemed to overwhelm the other, and left behind a figure that was unmistakably ghostly. Electric blue skin that was forever crackling with purple energy with matching purple eyes, the once blond hair now pitch black and floating around him softly. His outfit didn’t change, but Danny’s ghost sense did go off.
Peter held his hand up, and a purple dome shield came up. An ectoplasmic dome shield. He didn’t know how to feel at this revelation. Danny could only stare in awe at the other. There was more like him. It wasn’t just him and Vlad and Dani. They weren’t alone, there were oth-
The newly exposed halfa doubled over with a groan of pain. The shield quickly melted away, and Danny tensed up. He took a step forward.
“D-Don’t!” Peter’s voice gurgled, and Danny stopped. The newly discovered halfa fell to his knees and knees, and he threw up as his ghostly form melted away. As the form melted away, Danny could feel the air being filled with a rush of electricity and static before it finally faded.
“...Are you okay?” Danny called out.
“Yeah, that’s normal,” Peter wheezed, wiping his mouth as he stood back up, wiping his knees of dirt and gravel. “My ghost powers are super unstable. I can’t…not without...” He paused before glancing up at Danny. “Did you ever have a time where you were struggling to get your powers to work?”
“Yeah,” the teen nodded.
“I’m the opposite. I have to force myself to turn it off, and it takes so much energy, and every time I just try to utilize a little bit of power, it’s this…” Peter trailed off. “It’s overwhelming. And it hurts. And I can’t just bottle it up forever. If I don’t let it lose sometimes...it’s not pretty. I try to do it in isolated areas. Just let the excess energy out.”
Danny could only imagine the kind of destruction. If he had to guess, based on the electricity in the air, this guy had some kind of electric core. 
“How’d you...know about me anyway?” Danny changed the subject.
“I didn’t put puzzle pieces together, if that’s your concern,” Peter assured him. “The other halfa told me.” Danny’s eyes widened. “It’s why my dad and I came to Amity Park. We’ve been looking for a halfa to help us, or uh, rather help me.”
“Wait Vlad told you!?” he blurted out. What the fuck, cheesehead!? Oh, when Danny found him, he was gonna.
“No?” Peter’s puzzled tone snapped him out of his anger. “There’s...more than just us three left?” Danny’s undead heart skipped a beat. 
“Five,” Danny replied. “Who’s this other halfa?”
Peter stared somberly at him, glancing at his feet briefly as he toed with some of the rubble. 
“...I don’t know his human name. I purposefully didn’t ask,” Peter told him. “I originally asked him to help me, but he’s in a terrible spot and needed help of his own, help we couldn’t give. Not without getting ourselves in worse trouble. He said you were a halfa though. It had to be worth a shot. There’s not many of us left anymore.”
“How’d you even become half-ghost?” Danny asked curiously. Peter cocked his head in confusion. 
“I was? Born this way? Ghost mom, human dad?” he said slowly. He studied Danny curiously, and it seemed to click. “Wait were you not born half ghost?”
“You were born this way?” Danny asked back. His mind was going crazy. You could be born a half-ghost? That was possible? How come his parents never knew that? This would definitely explain why his dad seemingly dropped the Fentons as a friend... “Wait, many of us left?” 
Peter’s face told him nearly everything. Something happened. Something bad. The other cleared his throat. 
“Um...yeah,” he said quietly. “It’s kind of a long story. I don’t know all the details, cause I was kinda young, but basically...there was a lot of us. We had our own little section of the Ghost Zone. Do you know how the Bermuda Triangle is a giant natural ghost portal?” Danny nodded in confirmation. “There’s a section of the Ghost Zone near where it spawns most often that we used to inhabit, because of all the otherworldly crossing. Well, we were there. Before the Guys in White found out about us, and they came, and.” 
His breath hitched. Danny felt sick. The Guys in White...knew. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. They not only knew, but did this...oh fuck then that meant that there was a chance that they knew about him, and Vlad, and…..oh no.
“My dad said I nearly died too,” Peter continued. “One of the full ghosts saved me, smuggled me out. And my mom’s a doctor and was able to save me, but I was in a coma for like two months. Some made it out alive too. The unlucky ones…”
“...Died?” Danny guessed quietly. Peter let out a breathless chuckle. 
“No. They’re lucky if the GIW just killed them,” he replied flatly. “It’s honestly terrible. I don’t think you wanna know.” Peter was right; Danny didn’t want to know. It was Peter’s turn to be curious. “So...you weren’t born this way? Right? So how…”
“I was in an accident,” Danny kept it simple. Peter raised an eyebrow.
“Must be one hell of an accident,” he commented. Danny chuckled nervously. Peter sighed heavily. “So, I still don’t know if you can actually help my stabilization issue…cause of the differences…”
“I’ll do what I can!” Danny blurted out. Peter’s face brightened. “Please. I’d love to know more about halfas. We can compare stuff.” The young adult let out a sigh of relief.
“Come to my house tonight, my parents can tell you everything they know,” Peter agreed. He reached into his pocket to pull out the familiar small notebook. He ripped a page out, jotting down an address Danny already knew. “Just...come alone.”
Danny nodded, holding his hand out for the paper. Peter gave it to him, and despite the other powering down, Danny still felt a bit of an electric shock as they grazed hands. 
“I’ll see you then,” Danny promised. 
Grasping the note, he waved a goodbye, and he flew out. He had so much to tell Jazz.
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forgxtemall · 5 years ago
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Anonymous has sent: give us an example of Drake's homophobia that you've mentioned before? 🤔
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// Read more bc of the subject being dealt, LMK if I should tag this!
I want to start by reminding how the environment he grew into/was raised in molded Drake this way. These ideals have sticked with him, even in the present times. When these views, have long since been deemed outdated.
Be aware: This isn’t something isolated to him. His circle of old friends, not limited to mr.Briney and even Joseph share some of these views (albeit in different degrees between these two). Especially amongst other sailors and his shipcrew.
EDIT 10/11/21- If Drake had found himself in a complete and different context, then he probably would have had an easier time accepting his attraction to men. He wouldn’t be tied to some deeprooted biphobia. However, that’s not the development he got.
Homosexuality amongst sailors has always been a huge taboo, it is something that happens very frequently as well. It is an unspoke thing, a common secret, that everyone is well aware of at the risk of facing huge consequences for it.
If the person didn’t fit in with the ideal of a macho(tm) man, then they wouldn’t stand a chance in this environment. They would immediately be seen as inferior, weak, and the humiliation alongside with the degradation would only get worse. Even the slightest rumor, would mean the end for somone.
Drake has witnessed what happens to these individuals. This isn’t a kind place for those people... Or anyone really. Because of this, he has worked his hardest to build a reputation that would prevent anyone to look at him in the wrong way. All while being extremely picky, choosing carefully about the men he would end up having flings with.
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With those things said, his homophobia is more of a blanket he wears publicly. It is heavily tied, to his need to maintain his infamous reputation amongst others. He will do what he must, in order to maintain everything he worked so hard for.
Even if he may be the biggest hypocrite, in the end of the day. Because he enjoys, the company of men, just as much as a lady’s.
There doesn’t seem to be a limit, in regards to the lengths he’d do to guarantee this. Those include:
Watching/joining in beating up someone (often times, he was the instigator);
Betraying men that got a little, too attached/soft for him by outing them;
Beaten them up all by himself, all while humiliating them for their surrounding’s entertainment;
Thrown men over sea from his ship or onto his dragons (it was common for him to not feed his dragons, for these types of situations);
And many others.
He has done awful things, and he doesn’t seem to regret what he has done. At least, not in a context where he gets together with a man. But even then, he doesn’t fully regret what he has done. Because he knows: there was no other way or option for him.
Obviously everything above, doesn’t take any romantic verse involving him into consideration. He changes a lot, if he by luck, gets in a committed relationship while relatively young. Just to keep it short: He wouldn’t do anything to his partner (this doesn’t apply to others), but he would still have to keep their relationship a secret.
“If ye were, in the same position that I was. Ye’d have done the same thing.”
Nowadays, it is very easy to point at this trait and say how this is just another sign of stupidity. But, his homophobia is unfortunately something he had to adopt in order to survive. And he has been unable to let it go by himself, to this day. Although, nowadays he seems to have toned this down a lot, thanks to his contact with the likes of Joseph (who despite sharing some more conservative views like him, has helped him to open his mind about certain things and become a bit more accepting. It is a start, is what I’m trying to say) and his time at the League has contributed to this as well (this is an unaccepting behavior, on top of having contact with younger trainers from very different origins/backgrounds).
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yukipri · 7 years ago
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I never experienced art theft until one of my works became unexpectedly popular- since then, I've found my work reposted, redrawn, and used as reference for cosplays. It's been exhausting, both seeing it, and not knowing WHERE I should stand on the issue. I've let redraws slide (with credit), but I plan on not allowing future ones from occurring. How do you deal with art theft? How do you continue drawing without thinking about the disrespect thrown at you during bad/failed confrontations?
I am so, so incredibly sorry this happened to you, and empathize very strongly with you. Art theft SUCKS, few things can be quite as demotivating as a creator than having something you’ve worked your ass off on swiped by someone else. And unfortunately, given the current internet culture, if you continue as an online artist it’s inevitable that it’ll happen at one point or another.
Because sure, of course part of the reason why we create is because we want to, but a large part of the motivation for sharing it is to hopefully get some response that people like it, whether it be in the form of likes, reblogs, comments, asks, tags, or anything else. That is the tangible PROOF that our work touched someone, and for someone who put in zero effort and has no idea how we felt while creating to receive all of that instead of us…sucks.
I think where you stand on the issue is up to you, and it’s okay for it to change. YOU always have the right to decide how you’re comfortable with people sharing your art, and your feelings are valid regardless of how they change.
Ironically enough, I just had another art theft on Instagram (my Anniversary post) super recently, so I was like HAH when I got this orz
This rant got a bit long, so the rest beneath cut but here’s a rundown about how my feelings towards art theft have evolved over the years.
For example, over the years I’ve gotten much, MUCH stricter. My earliest online art, I just put it up, no url, oftentimes no signature, no warnings in the comments or my blog bio. Admittedly I was starting out and didn’t have much viewers anyway, but the point was I still had Trust at the time.
Then the art thefts began. I started adding my url to all my illustrations, even if it was just small in the corner, as this’d let people at least find my website. Most people are too lazy to type out a url though, and I’ve seen people asking “Who drew this??” on art theft comments EVEN WHEN THE URL IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE…
And then people started cropping my watermarks. I made my url bigger, and started adding an additional “DO NOT REPOST” to the image itself. I used to allow reposts with credits on platforms I’m not on, like fb, until I realized that people were then reposting from THOSE communities without credit and putting them into their videos and fics and I just…decided it wasn’t worth it.
I switched to no reposts PERIOD. I have lengthy disclaimers on all of my art that leads to an even lengthier FAQ post that, should people wish to look, leads to even an even more detailed post about WHY art theft sucks, as I’m explaining now.
(EDIT: ALSO, reduce the quality of the images you upload, and NEVER upload the full resolution, and try to keep you unmerged original files. This is for several reasons: no matter how much an art thief reposts your work, they’ll never have access to the higher resolution, and if they ever decide to try to print to sell for profit it’ll be shitty quality compared to anything you make with the original. ALSO, you having the maximum resolution with no watermarking with additional unmerged psd files will be proof that you are the true creator should you need to prove it, which I’ve heard is sometimes necessary to show when your art is stolen at say, an artist alley)
I also used to bother trying to talk to art reposters. I’d comment on the post, try to send messages, etc. It’s fucking exhausting, and while there are some exceptions, the VAST majority of art thiefs will feel attacked and immediately get rude and defensive. (the failed confrontations and disrespect you mentioned orz) If it’s a large community, they may even try to gang up on you. I’ve unfortunately experienced this most frequently in communities centered around other languages (mainly Spanish) because of different mainstream attitudes towards art reposting etiquette combined with a language barrier.
You will, and no doubt already have, encountered people who will argue with you, like the people I describe above. “You should be grateful for the bigger audience!” “We just want to appreciate your art, how can you be so horrible?” “We’re all fans together!” “This is fanart and doesn’t belong to you anyway!” Etc. etc. etc. It’s exhausting, it’s repetitive, it’s neverending, and you already felt awful before it even began and the stress just continues to build.
So I personally have just begun reporting people, if the service allows it. Use DMCA takedown request forms (and YES, even if it’s fanart it’s still yours if you drew it). This is stressful too because it sends your real name + info to the reposter (and wow I clearly can’t trust these people to begin with, why would I want them to have that???) but most sites (facebook, instagram, certainly tumblr, twitter) are very efficient and responsive, and in the end the relief of receiving that email that the art has been taken down is worth it. Especially with facebook, they also send a scary official warning email to the reposters which I sincerely hope will help educate them and discourage future art thefts.
I try to avoid posting public urls because yes I’m aware how mob mentality Tumblr can get, but sometimes it’s just too much. There’s no convenient form of getting my content removed (perhaps bc it’s in a compilation with a ton of other content), or for some reason my attempts to communicate have failed. In those times I have occasionally asked my followers to help, with a reminder to PLEASE always be polite and respectful, regardless of the offense. Y’all have been amazing, and this has saved me many nights of crying in the past.
I will sometimes also write lengthy posts (like this one!) to help educate. Because I do feel that art theft will continue so long as people don’t understand what it does to artists, and it’s up to the community as a whole to make that change, which also depends heavily on the consumers not just creators. A lot of art theft really isn’t intentionally meant to harm, but IS super ignorant.
But in the end, all I’ve ranted about so far is how I’ve dealt with actually removing/dealing with the shit. But the emotional pain, it builds. Sometimes, when it’s too frequent and the stolen art gets way more attention than my original that I worked my ass off on that basically flunked on my own platforms, I feel a bit of me break.
And in the end, it’s up to you what that threshold is, where posting art and feeling good about it is overwhelmed by the pain, fear, and anxiety of art theft. I’ve crossed my own threshold too many times, and once had to take an art hiatus because of it (fandom was BH6). This lead to a break in my productivity and motivation and my eventual complete departure form the fandom. I’ve seen many other artists just stop posting art entirely or moving everything to private. It’s terrible, but my feelings are with these artists, and I feel so, so sorry that they were hurt so much to the extent they had to do this.
With my current fandom and followers, I feel that regardless of how niche an audience my content tends to be geared for, I have a community that is really satisfying for me to create for, one that is responsive to me and gives me tons of feedback. This is the number one reason why i continue to feel motivated to post a ton of online content despite the risks.
The takeaway form this long meandering post: Posting online is a hobby, it’s for fun, and I don’t make any money off my public audience (unless they come to Patreon! LOL!), so I’m a firm believer that once the anxiety + misery starts outweighing anything positive you personally may get from sharing online, which for me heavily depends on my audience and their responsiveness, there’s no reason to subject yourself to that anymore and you are in no way obligated to stay. There are various methods to more efficiently get rid of art thefts without dealing with them in person which is stressful AF, and also ways of marking up your content in ways that may look less aesthetically pleasing, but will hopefully discourage art thefts, and at the very least give them very little leg to stand on should they do it anyway. How forgiving you are in art thefts also depends on you, but the more forgiving you are, the more it can get away from you. And in the end, YOU as a human are more important than any complaints about art looking less pleasing or the feelings of art thefts who don’t get to do what they want with YOUR hard work.
Sorry this was so disjointed and literally just me spewing at you, but I hope some of it was helpful ^ ^; Please let me know if I can give you any other advice, and I’m sorry again that you have to deal with this ;_;
(and to respond to your second ask, I do try to respond to most of my asks, but sometimes it takes a while (sometimes even months orz), especially if it’s one that requires a lengthy detailed answer like this one ^ ^; thank you for your patience!)
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isroselalondebisexual · 7 years ago
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if you have the time/patience to look over these troll kids, i would be so happy! ^ㅂ^ john captor, rose zahhak, jade makara, and dave serket! if dave serket makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to analyze him! (i also apologize if my english seems awkward, not my first language! ^^;)
Your English is just fine honey!
John Captor, raised on the lower cusp of middle class but not quite there, with crazy psii powers and a lusus that loves him, but is also something of a giant (heheh) handful. John would probably try to raise bees, realize that’s a LOT OF WORK, and just buy mind honey to feed biclopsdad from then on. Someone else can raise bees and sell honey he’s perfectly content being a patron of someone else’s hard work. Probably tries to get into coding but, predictably, still sucks at it despite being a troll now, bc that was never really a “yellowblood” trait as much as it was a “Sollux” trait. John and Karkat (if he exists in these?) pretending to be competent coders at each other while both of them just suck, respectively, is a hilarious idea btw. Probably tries to run a trolltube channel where he does speedruns through various games, but it devolves into Mcelroy-esque nonsense where he godmods everything (look at him, being a CODER, he’s so HARDCORE with his CODING) and proceeds to do the DUMBEST shit. A real comedian, that fella. Has NO IDEA how to fix things, the most you can get out of him is an awkward joke with a pat on the back and more frequently he just shuts down emotionally and stares at things as they go wrong, but he IS a very good listener, he’ll make you feel comfortable and listened to, he naturally mimics the posture of the people who’re distressed (like in canon) but just because he’s very very empathetic doesn’t mean he has ANY idea how to go about helping with that aside from listening and offering his shoulder to cry on. As Heir of Doom, he and Mituna share a classpect, which means Bad End: he becomes doomed and gets fucked over BIG time, Good End: he comes to terms with himself and his own way of experiencing the world and interacting with others, and embraces himself fully, the good and the bad, and doesn’t sweat the small stuff.
Rose Zahhak, raised on the underside of RIDICULOUSLY WEALTHY, where propriety is stressed heavily and she can have anything she wants, so long as she bows down to those “above” her, and her lusus cares deeply about her, but also kinda lets her get away with most things. Also, she’s freaky mutant strong and has piss poor control over it. She’s gonna have the trademark Zahhak frustration-anger-breakshit-further frustration-more anger- break more shit-get even MORE frustrated- anger cycle. The idea that society will give her anything- not because she’s earned it or because she deserves it- but because she was born into it, would initially be appealing, but she would be expected to subject herself to the whims of those colder than her, and she would, well, absolutely fucking hate that. Tear it all down, tear down all society, it’s broken beyond fixing, nothing good can be tweaked or edited into existence, burn burn burn it all. As Seer of Void, she’d at first be amazed that she’s not a Rage player, that would make more SENSE that’s what she’s ABOUT, but slowly, slowly it would start to make sense. A Seer of Void is one who can see potential, someone who can see what would rise from those ashes, someone who can take her anger and guide the world into SOMETHING out of the nothingness that she sees everywhere he looks, the nothingness that consumes her, the lack of value placed on every troll, on her friends, the senselessness of her society that doesn’t make any kind of REASONABLE decisions. She craves order, something sensible, which she never finds in the society she was raised in so once it’s down, she’s the one that guides them into building anew.
Jade Makara, then, is the one to bring it down. Raised alone at the oceanside, without even the benefit of a dog or chessfolk to chat with, I can imagine her frustration and short fuse that we see in canon would get even worse, clinging to her friends as her one remaining scrap of sanity in a society that doesn’t make sense. Jade & Rose moirallegiance is… good… two girls complaining about society, how it sucks, even though they’re the people who are supposed to be BENEFITING from it it’s still BULLSHIT! Why are so many people okay with this! Jade and Rose bounce off each other, frustrated and also Jade would probably feel kinda guilty about it all. Why is she “higher” than anybody else? It wouldn’t sit well with her, but also she’s ONE PERSON and society is a LARGE AND COMPLEX THING. Rose’s talk of tearing it all down, just burning it all to the ground and starting anew would sound… pretty fucking nice, actually, but while Rose would be more wont to just bitch about it, Jade is more a woman of action, and she doesn’t have a centaurmom patting her back and telling her to chill, she doesn’t really have any mom at all, since seagoatmom seems to have better things to do than take care of her child. Jade would want to somehow destroy society without killing everybody- that would be cruel, but how else would they start anew? The Game settles this issue for her, (un)luckily. As Witch of Rage, hers is the task to take her anger, her frustration, the injustices she feels buried deep in her soul, and use those to incite CHANGE. Working together with Rose, Jade will be the force to tear it all down, and Rose shall pry a path of righteousness out from the darkness. Idk how Jade would interact with the cult, tbh, I feel like she might enjoy the juggalo stuff while she’s little, but eventually grow away from it when the violence and hemoclassim starts to sit ill with her. She likes the clowns and mirth part, less the messiahs and murder bits.
Dave Serket (I don’t mind, it’s just Vr*ska/Aran*a/M*ndfang that I get VERY UNCOMFORTABLE about) is raised on the high edge of the middle class, with a piece of shit lusus that makes him kill. Dave would, too, he’s a people-pleaser, and we know from canon that his guardian is someone he wants to please VERY badly. Spiderdad is nasty and awful and abusive and forces Dave- who does not like death or danger or hurting others at all- to do dangerous things and hurt and kill others. Puts forth a coolkid exterior, acts unbothered by the atrocities Spiderdad forces him to commit, acts tough and untouchable and aloof but in reality he craves validation, someone to listen to him. He wants, desires, craves intimacy, but the idea of opening up to another person causes visceral, abject horror within him at the very thought. As Knight of Light, his job is to protect luck and knowledge, which he thinks is a STUPID role, wtf. Probably fucks right off his planet and goes and chills with John for a while, and they both come to terms with themselves together, going through their personal journeys side by side. John would be critical in Dave’s journey, someone empathetic, someone who listens but offers no judgement, someone who believes Dave and doesn’t just go “We’re trolls what do you expect.” He lets Dave spill his guts to him over and over and over again, and Dave is almost ravenously protective of John, who he considers himself incredibly lucky to have in his life. Rose and Jade, too, Dave would give anything for, in part because his childhood has conditioned him “if you love someone, sacrifice for them” but also in part because he’s just a really loving dude and he’d do anything for his friends because he adores them. 
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pea-green · 7 years ago
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July’s books!! There’s a whole bunch because I’ve been travelling a lot this month and I get like 80% of my reading done on trains. 
This month: We Go Around in the Night and Are Consumed by Fire by Jules Grant, The Crime Writer by Jill Dawson, Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden, Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris, The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers, Fair Play by Tove Jansson, and Birdbox by Josh Malerman. 
We Go Around in the Night and Are Consumed by Fire follows Mancunian lesbian gangster Donna and not to be hyperbolic but I love her and literally everything she says and does is Iconic:
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A tragedy forces Donna to take in the book’s other protagonist, her 10-year-old goddaughter Ror, and the scenes where emotionally repressed Donna tries her best to do right by Ror (who thinks the world of her) are easily the best in the book. Women supporting women is a dynamic curiously absent from a lot of wlw books but is 100% present here; the network of northern lesbians, from the mean streets to upper society is wonderful to read. There aren’t many contemporary lesbian-themed books set in the UK, and I loved the style and language - the novel doesn’t use any speech marks which I’ve never seen before but worked perfectly. It’s a dark read, but I really, really recommend this one.
The Crime Writer is essentially Patricia Highsmith RPF. Before I read this book, the only things I knew about PH were 1. she was gay, 2. she wrote Carol, and 3. she was weirdly into snails. All three of those things feature quite heavily in this book, although it’s way, way less whimsical than whatever you’re imagining. Patricia is extremely messed up; all her relationships (with parents, friends and lovers) are in shambles, and while she’s definitely not the most sympathetic protagonist ever written, her slow unravelling is just the right amount of disturbing to be enjoyable. I mean, it’s about a vintage lesbian, I was always going to enjoy it, and there’s praise from Sarah Waters on the back cover - although I wonder if Waters thought certain bits of the plot were extremely similar to The Paying Guests (because I really did). 
I read a friend’s copy of Annie on My Mind years ago and, like a lot of people born in the late 80′s/early 90′s, it was the first LGBT-themed YA book I ever read. I’m really glad I reread it because it’s told retrospectively, and the beginning is more powerful when you know what’s going to happen, and while it’s definitely dated and full of what look like cliches today, the impact it’s had on gay-themed YA books that came after is obvious. It also has one of my all-time favourite scenes which still hits me straight in the heart: 
I went downstairs to Dad’s encyclopedia and looked up HOMOSEXUALITY, but that didn’t tell me much about any of the things I felt. What struck me most, though, was that, in the whole long article, the word “love” wasn’t used even once. That made me mad; it was as if whoever wrote the article didn’t know that gay people actually love each other. The encyclopedia writers ought to talk to me, I thought as I went back to bed; I could tell them something about love. 
I’d also forgotten how sweet the relationship between Liza and Annie is; the life-changing, all-consuming feeling of falling in love for the first time is described perfectly, and I wanted to be cynical about the likelihood of young love like that lasting the ages, but my edition of AOMM had an interview with the author, who is still in a relationship with the girl she fell in love with at high school. Having a much wider reference point for YA lit, I especially appreciated the relationships that Eliza and Annie have with their families (Eliza’s brother especially; why are siblings in lesbian lit always such dicks??), and also I’d like to petition for a book entirely about the amazing lesbian teachers.
Birdbox was recommended by my sister and isn’t gay (bc the only way to get me to read non-gay books is for Gabi to rec them) but I read the whole thing on a ridiculously long train journey and it was a really enjoyable way to pass four hours. It’s a horror/suspense novel set in America 5 years after the sudden appearance of unknown things which, when seen, immediately drive anyone who sets eyes on them to suicide. Society has crumbled and remaining humans live a survivalist existence where they mustn’t ever open their eyes outside of their windowless homes. The execution isn’t on the same level as, say, Stephen King - there were a few really frustrating plotholes and the writing was a little clunky sometimes, but the premise was really interesting and the story gripping enough to read in one sitting.
The Long Way to A Small Angry Planet was recommended by @anormaladdams and I am SO HERE for the socially progressive scifi movement that’s being championed by this and the Imperial Radch series (cute: Ann Leckie is quoted on the cover, calling it “great fun!”). It’s been endlessly likened to a less sexist/racist Firefly, which I think is fair - there is a lot of space-related plot, but all the best scenes are the ragtag band of misfits sharing a spaceship and navigating their relationships with each other. The characters are (nearly) all absolutely lovely, and getting to know them is a joy, but I couldn’t help thinking the narrative jumps around a little too much and might have been an easier read if there had been just two or three POV characters. The book’s a great, fun read in itself (including a wlw relationship! Human/alien relationships aren’t really my bag, but if you like Jenny/Vastra you’ll love this), but there’s a recent sequel in the form of A Closed and Common Orbit which I’ll definitely check out.
I already posted about how my amazing sister got me a signed copy of Me Talk Pretty One Day, but despite being a huge fan of David Sedaris (books and radio), I hadn’t read Talk Pretty before. It’s amazing. I deliberately read it at home rather than on public transport because I figured if it was anything like his other stuff I’d just be cackling away to myself the whole time and it turns out I was absolutely right. Like with his other books, it’s a series of anecdotes which vary from being ridiculously relateable (David being super gay, and also kind of terrible person a lot of the time) to outlandish (I mean, who hasn’t spent 6 months high on crystal meth and living with a man who made a nest out of human hair as an art piece??), but regardless of the subject they’re all brilliant. My favourite - because I used to get dragged along to Gabi’s speech therapy sessions and I suspect why she bought me this particular book - was probably the time he was forced into speech therapy and decided the best way to overcome his lisp was to just avoid the letter S altogether: “plurals presented a considerable problem, but I worked around them as best I could; “rivers”, for example, became either “a river or two” or “many a river”. Possessives were a similar headache, and it was easier to say nothing than to announce that the left-hand and the right-hand glove of Janet had fallen to the floor”.
I picked up Fair Play because it was by Tove Jansson, more famous for The Moomins, and figured that if Ali Smith had written the introduction, it must be gay. It is, but understated doesn’t begin to cover it. It’s a series of vignettes about Mari and Jonna, two artists in their 70′s who live on a tiny Finnish island together. It’s unclear how much of the book is autobiographical, and it’s definitely less cute than, say, Annie on My Mind or other books about girls falling in love for the first time; Mari and Jonna have been together for decades and they argue and compromise and know each other inside out. The theme of Art threads through all of the stories, but I’m a huge philistine and their visions and cerebral discussions didn’t do much for me. (haha they do a lot of sailing about and there are some storms, though, and that definitely did)
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