#sucks hes not relivent in the story

[probably-a-plant-thing]

[wongyuseokie]

Teardrops On My Guitar | h.j.s

Summary: You loved him, but he was your best friend. While he sometimes blurred the lines, he never saw you more than that. Since he was your best friend and you were so in love, you’d break yourself apart for him. You watched him fall in love with everyone, but you only question for how long? ☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ☁︎ angst | ♕smut | ♥ completed works

Word Count: 19,760 words

Pairings: Joshua Hong x Female Reader Genre/Trope(s)/AU(s): Unrequited Love AU! (don’t say I didn’t warn you; this really won’t be a nice one). Slice of Life AU! Fluff, Angst, Smut (the holy trinity, if you will) 

Content Warnings: Yelling, swearing, crying, arguments, toxic coping mechanisms, smut, unprotected sex (don’t do this). Smut Warnings: Fingering, oral (male and female receiving). multiple orgasms, squirting, hand jobs. Body insecurities, bitchy drama from other girls (let's lift each other up). Slut-shaming.  Authors Note 1: I think All Too Well was painful for me to write because that was the story about how a relationship that I deemed perfect fell apart, but this one hurts me more because this is a story I hate reliving so much. After all, this is the story of how I fell in love with my best friend and how I never told him (sort of), but now I had to watch him fall in love with everyone but me. This story is a letter to myself back then. I wish I loved myself more back then. 

Author’s Note 2: This is a Seventeen rewrite of an old fic of mine, so if it looks familiar, that’s why hehe.  Authors Note 3: Thank you so much to the following people for reading this for me @shuadotcom @gyuwoncheol @okiedokrie @wonuvs

© wongyuseokie 2024. All rights reserved.

High school sucked. It was a universal truth. 

But you felt like some days it sucked for you more than it did for others. You felt awkward, you didn’t make friends easily – if ever. You basically had just two friends, while every morning on the school bus, you’d hear chatter about someone getting drunk or kissing someone at a party. 

You would have to take a deep breath and pretend you didn’t care. But you didn’t even have enough friends to hold a party, let alone be invited to one. Hell, you couldn’t remember the last time you partied.

You even celebrated your birthday with your parents last year, entering the fifteenth year of your life in your bedroom, watching movies and spending time with your parents. And you didn’t really mind it. You just wished you had someone who wanted to spend time with you. 

The worst thing was hearing about other girls your age having lavish birthdays, having their first kiss, and whatnot made you realise that you had no experience of any of that. This sucked completely,considering that everything felt like a competition in high school. 

Who could get their first kiss before anyone else? Who could lose their virginity first? Forget virginity; you had never even kissed a guy. A proper kiss. Not a stupid peck, but an adequate kiss – one of those you saw in movies. 

You were convinced that the only way you’d ever get your first kiss would be if you were granted a magical makeover where the universe would give you a new face, a slimmer body, and more proportionate features. 

Your mother said you were pretty, but what mother wouldn’t? Some stupid boys in your high school took it upon themselves to tell you throughout your entire middle school years how undesirable you were. They would pretend that their eyes burnt if they saw you and they acted like you were Medusa. In some ways, you could relate. You, too, felt like you had a curse that wasn’t your fault either. You tried all the beauty hacks, scrubbing your face with homemade sugar scrubs and buying concealers that were too light to wear, all because you just wanted to be pretty. 

Feel a little worthy. 

Now that you were older, you knew their hurtful words were untrue. And no, you didn’t suddenly have an epiphany and start believing you were a beauty queen, but you knew not to take such awful comments to heart. Yet, you couldn’t help how they’d sometimes seep into your mind. 

However, as you stood outside your dorm room as a fresher at university, you couldn’t help but wish this was your chance to begin again. You had a new start; no one here knew you from high school; you weren’t back in your small town; you were in the city. You could start over. 

Your bullies, past, and insecurities didn’t follow you here, so maybe this would be the time you’d finally be able to restart. Get a new lease on life.

“Oof, sorry,” a voice apologised as its owner bumped into you, making you look up from the floor. You were met with dark brown eyes filled with kindness, compassion, and, at this moment, regret for bumping into you. 

You looked away from the stranger’s eyes to take him in. He was tall and devastatingly handsome, with a giant grin adorning his handsome face, and you immediately felt like you were thrown back into high school. Guys like him would either mock your appearance or ignore you, pretend you were a wallflower. 

Girls like you didn’t get guys like him. 

You immediately looked to the ground and mumbled an apology. 

“Hey, what are you apologising for? I bumped into you, and I bumped into my flatmate. Nice to meet you. I’m Joshua!” The handsome man introduced himself, holding his hand to you, and you accepted it gingerly as you shook it. 

“What’s your name?” Joshua asked. 

“Y/N,” you replied. 

“Well, I’m excited for fresher’s week! I think it’s so cool that we get to live in co-ed living spaces and get to be adults. I’m also glad that our rooms both have an ensuite, thank fuck. Not the biggest fan of sharing bathrooms,” Joshua rambled, then laughed when he saw your confused expression. 

“Sorry, oversharing with my neighbour within a second of bumping into you isn’t the best first impression, is it?” Joshua joked, and you shrugged, shooting him a smile. 

“Okay, well, I got to finish moving in, but will you be coming across the hall for the freshers’ party? I have a couple of friends I’m going with, but I’d love for you to join us! Unless you already have plans?” Joshua asked.

You shook your head, stunned. Was this reality? 

Someone willingly invited you somewhere, not out of force or school obligation but because they wanted to ask you. 

“I’d like that,” you finally answered, making Joshua smile.

“Well, Y/N, apparently freshers have been told to wear comfy footwear, whatever that means, but how about I knock at your door at nine, and we can leave together?” Joshua offered, and you nodded as you hurried back into your room, slamming the door behind you. 

You were beyond confused. You had plenty of outfits to choose from, but the one time you wore a skirt to your high school disco, you heard a few comments calling you a try-hard and an attention seeker, so you went home and threw the skirt into the back of your closet never to be seen again. And now, that skirt was in your hands again, reminding you of crappy memories and the fact it was impractical as it had no pockets. 

You decided to wear jeans instead. Jeans were a safe option. You chose a black, strappy top with some sequins and threw on a black leather jacket. 

The outfit was inspired by several hours of Pinterest-related shopping you did before arriving at university. You wanted a fresh start, which also meant fresh outfits. You wanted everything to be new. 

You grabbed your white striped Converse and put them outside, on the floor next to the foot of your university bed, a modest single. You also decided to shower, shave and exfoliate. You didn’t think Joshua would find you remotely attractive, but you wanted to at least feel somewhat pretty. 

A couple of hours later, you were putting on your silver hoops when you heard a knock on your door. 

“It’s open,” you said and smiled at Joshua as he walked into your room in tight-fitted jeans and a loose black tee tucked in and completed with a black belt. 

“You look nice,” Joshua complimented.

You hissed as you poked your ear with your earring at his compliment. “Ouch!” you yelped.

Joshua’s eyes widened as he approached you, taking the earring out of your hand and helping you to put it on. “Did I startle you or something?” he asked, his voice too close to you, breath fanning over your neck. 

“I just… I don’t get compliments, so yeah, I guess you did,” you admitted, feeling stupid for admitting something like that to a perfect stranger. He would probably think you were weird now and walk away. 

“Well, that’s a shame. You deserve plenty,” Joshua said genuinely as he squeezed your shoulder, smiling widely at you.

And for the first time in so long, you felt like there was hope for your heart, and for you to find and experience everything you never got to in high school. 

The void in your heart… maybe Joshua could be one who could fill it. 

“Oh, Y/N, by the way! They’re having a flat party. Everyone said that the freshers’ party is usually kind of boring and that nothing much happens. They were talking about things like safe sex, and I’m sure we’re all tired of that conversation from high school,” Joshua joked as you two walked out of your shared dorm and across the hall where you stood as he informed you of the flat party. 

“How many people will be there, though?” you asked, feeling insecurity and fear flood your system. You didn’t want a ton of eyes on you in your outfit. You didn’t want to hear the whispers that would inevitably make you curl up and cry into your pillow all night. 

“I think twenty, give or take. It’ll be our flat and the one across ours,” Joshua replied, and you pondered over the thought of meeting nineteen new people – people who could judge, mock and make fun of you. 

“Hey, you’re my next-door neighbour—well, our doors are opposite one another—you are now my friend, and I’ll keep you protected. If anyone tries shit, I’ll smack them,” Joshua vowed, making you giggle. 

“What’s so funny?” he asked, smiling as he watched you giggle. 

“I just tried to imagine you even trying to beat someone up,” you replied, wiping the tears of laughter that collected in your eyes, making Joshua laugh at you. 

“Oh, but I am fiercely loyal. Trust me, when it comes to protecting those I care about, I’ll fight,” Joshua said seriously. 

You nodded, following him across the hall to the other flat as you two walked into the kitchen, where drinks were being poured, and you could tell several people were already quite drunk. You swore you saw a couple exchange a few kisses. 

“Hi, we’re from flat 2A! Our flatmates told us about the party!” Joshua introduced himself, and one of the guys, who introduced himself as Jeonghan, approached you and Joshua. 

“Well, 2A, welcome to flat 2B! We do have alcohol to spare, but if you want more, you’ll have to bring your own,” Jeonghan explained, the smile never leaving his face, and Joshua nodded as he brandished a bottle of soju from his coat pocket. 

“I’ve got us sorted,” Joshua grinned, and Jeonghan smiled again as he welcomed you two. 

“Y/N, have a seat next to me. We 2A’s need to stick together,” Joshua joked as he guided you to the black couches, where he helped introduce you to the other students. You exchanged several words with Nia and felt she could be a good friend. She had kind eyes and a soft smile, something you were never used to ever seeing. 

“Alright, I’m bored. Can we play a drinking game? It’s the easiest way to get to know one another,” another girl, whose name you couldn’t recall, complained, immediately grinning when everyone agreed. 

You could see she had no actual malice. She just wanted to party. Not everyone you’d meet in life would be your high school bully. This was something you’d have to remind yourself of during every interaction. 

“Okay, what do you want to play, Nia?” Jeonghan asked as he joined her.

“Truth or dare! But take a shot if you want to skip the dare or truth?” Nia suggested.

Everyone nodded–including you, even if your heart beat wildly in your chest. What if someone asked you something like if you were a virgin? You’d lie, but the stammering would give it away. Then again, you had been a wallflower all your life. No one would ever pick you, you convinced yourself as you took a large sip of Jeonghan’s concoction. 

It tasted more like he poured pure alcohol in and sprinkled in some diet coke to mask the fact he did not know how to mix a damn drink, but it was a drink you were thankful for. It gave you a nice buzz, lowering your inhibitions and fears. 

“Okay,” Jeonghan said after three rounds. Everyone had a pretty good buzz, and the questions and dares were getting more unfiltered and scandalous with each game. “Joshua, I dare you to give Y/N a peck on the lips,” Jeonghan said smugly, making you gulp and swallow the remainder of your drink. 

As you sighed, you didn’t think the party would come to this, but you realised you were fooling yourself. People would always care about this, and you didn’t fancy being a laughingstock. 

“Wait, Y/N, where are you going?” Jeonghan asked, genuine concern lacing his voice. Joshua stood up, shooting Jeonghan a slight glare. 

“I just, uh, want to go to bed; you know the alcohol has hit me,” you mumbled quickly as you nearly ran out of the flat and straight back to yours. You rushed into your room, taking a seat on your bed as you took deep breaths. 

It was okay; he wouldn’t remember any of this tomorrow, and you’d avoid it if needed. 

“You should lock your door, you know,” Joshua’s voice startled you as you stood up from your bed at his sudden presence. 

“Can I talk to you?” he asked, and you nodded, knowing there was nowhere to run. 

Then again, there was that large window… But if you leapt out of it, you’d fall into a bush of poison ivy, so you decided to take the scarier option of engaging in conversation. 

“I’m sorry if Jeonghan went too far with that dare,” Joshua apologised as he sat down on your bed, and you sighed, shaking your head, joining him. 

“No, it’s just… I didn’t want to make you feel repulsed by doing something you didn’t want to do,” you admitted.

Joshua turned to face you. “That’s the last thing I’d feel if I kissed you. You’re so beautiful. Anyone would be lucky to kiss you,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“I wouldn’t know what to do,” you admitted, causing him to smile softly at you. 

“May I?” Joshua asked, and your breath hitched, knowing what he meant, “not because I feel obliged, but because I want to,” he added, and you finally nodded, making him smile as he moved closer to place his soft lips on yours. 

You didn’t know what to do, so you followed his movements, the way he moved his mouth ever so slowly against yours. He was kissing you like you were made of glass, and it made you feel like you were a crystal sculpture. 

Fragile yet beautiful, his kiss made you feel worthy. Joshua smiled as he pulled away. 

“Wow,” you whispered. 

“Wow?” he asked, and you nodded. 

“I’ve never had a kiss like this, just a stupid peck. But this one felt like a real kiss, so yeah… this one felt nice,” you admitted as Joshua nodded. “Sorry if I didn’t know what I was doing or it sucked, though, I just—oomph,” your rambling was cut off by his lips as they pressed against yours again.

You felt him smirk against your lips as he pulled away slowly. “You were fine,” Joshua clarified, and you nodded at him. “Look, the party isn’t over, and more people have joined. I think they’re playing music, and they’ve dimmed the lights, so if you want, we can go back?” he offered, smiling at you.

You hesitated. 

“Or I can grab another bottle of soju, and we can put a movie on? Or I can leave you alone?” Joshua offered. 

You smiled at him. “How about a movie?” you chose.

Joshua nodded with a grin. “Be right back! Let me go get the bottle of soju from my room. You pick the movie, but nothing horror,” he added as he left your room. 

You smiled in his wake. 

This was your new beginning. You could start afresh. 

~~

Two weeks in, lectures had started. Joshua had become your partner in crime, your closest friend. You had also grown closer to Jeonghan and Nia; they had become part of your little friendship group, and you felt wanted and included for the first time.

You felt needed, seen, and appreciated. It was everything you ever wanted. 

“Yo!” Joshua yelled, barging into your room one evening while you were reviewing your lecture material for the following day. 

“Do you bother knocking anymore?” You chuckled, shaking your head as Joshua got comfortable on your bed, kicking off his shoes as he lay down. 

“No. Friends don’t bother with formalities,” he told you smugly, making you roll your eyes at him. 

“Why are you here, anyway? I thought you and Jeonghan wanted to go to a social?” you asked him. 

“Yes, but apparently, Jeonghan and Nia decided to go on a date or something, I don’t know,” he mumbled, making your eyes widen. 

“Wait, what?” you exclaimed, and Joshua shrugged. 

“I don’t know. Nia didn’t give me a straight answer, just kept blushing, and Jeonghan just smirked,” he answered as he shrugged off his leather jacket and threw it to the floor. 

“Shua, are you planning on crashing or something?” you asked, putting your pen down and turning to face him, and he grinned at you. 

“Come on, it’s movie night,” Joshua whined playfully, making you smile. 

“Oh, shut up, you’re only here because Jeonghan ditched your ass, and I’m the second choice,” you joked, but you couldn’t help the thread of insecurity that weaved its way into you. 

“See, normally, I’d let that slide, but I know you might take that to heart. Hey, I live across the hall from you, and you’re one of my closest friends here, okay? I don’t want you ever to think that you’re my second choice,” he assured you softly as he got up to wrap his arms around you. 

That was a new thing you got used to: Joshua’s extreme affection - his need to touch and feel loved through the act of touch. It was new to you, but you weren’t entirely mad either. It felt nice being wanted and being a source of comfort to him. 

“Now, stop doodling flowers on your lecture notes and join me. I want to watch something,” he teased, and you nodded, smiling shyly as you saw the flowers etched into your work. 

“Shall we do a Pixar night?” He then suggested. 

“Always,” you smiled, nodding as you joined him on the bed. 

As you sat down, Joshua immediately pulled you to his side. Soon enough, he was curled into you as he held you during the movie, either babbling nonsense or pointing out things you never knew existed in the film. You loved that about him, you thought to yourself. You loved his ability to see the beauty in everything. 

You paused as you stared blankly at the screen. 

Was that it? Did you love him? 

Were you falling for your best friend? 

The man who took you seriously for once and made you feel seen, were you falling in love with him?

You knew you were falling for the man who could see the beauty in everything. 

You wondered hard that night… would he be able to see the beauty in you?

~~

“So, how was your date with Jeonghan then?” you asked Nia, who had just sat across you with her breakfast. 

She shook her head. “It wasn’t a date. I needed to talk to Jeonghan, that’s all,” Nia explained, and you nodded at her. 

“You two would make a cute couple, though?” You joked, earning a scoff from Nia. 

“What would you know about relationships? Aren’t you forever single or something?” she snapped at you out of nowhere, making you feel like all your progress with your friends over the past month crumbled in a second. 

“I…” You opened your mouth to defend yourself until you realised Nia was right. You were no one to give anyone any relationship advice. 

“That’s what I thought. So keep your comments to yourself. Just because you kissed Joshua once does not mean you know a thing,” she added unnecessarily, her words pouring more salt into the wounds you kept so hard to keep closed. 

Why did Nia know that Joshua had kissed you? And why was she using it as an insult? Did she find it laughable, or did Joshua embellish the story and tell them that he only ever kissed you because you were like a wounded puppy, and he felt sorry for you?

“I need to go,” you mumbled before speeding away, feeling nauseous as you returned to the dorms. 

Would Joshua ever hurt you like that? You didn’t think so, but guys like him were never meant to be with girls like you. 

“Yo, what’s up?” 

You heard Joshua’s voice as you walked into the standard room, and instead of reacting like you usually did, you ducked out of the room and ran to your own. Just as you were about to close the door, Joshua’s large hand pushed between the space and wedged himself into your room. 

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he asked. 

You sighed, not realising that the tears had fallen down your face. “Nothing,” you mumbled weakly, earning an eye roll from Joshua as he grabbed your books out of your hands and placed them on your desk. 

He then held your hand as he walked you to your bed and sat you down. “What happened? I know something did. I’ve seen your happy tears, and these aren’t them. What’s wrong?” he repeated, his hands moving to cup your face. 

“Fuck, Shua! How did Nia know about us kissing that night?” you burst out, making Joshua frown. 

“Fuck, I was talking to Jeonghan. I didn’t think he’d blab to her. Why, what did she do?” he asked. 

“I just… I was teasing her about Jeonghan and her going on a date, and she got annoyed. So I thought to diffuse the tension, I’d joke and say that she and Jeonghan would make a cute couple. She lashed out at that. She asked me what I would ever know about relationships, as I’m a forever single girl. Then, when I couldn’t say anything, she said, “Just because I kissed you, I shouldn’t assume that I know anything,” you admitted, feeling more tears falling down your face as you recalled the comments. 

“What the fuck? Why would she say that? Listen, you can always give relationship advice without being in one, okay? I’ll find out what’s wrong with her, but what she said is so beyond fucked up,” Joshua snarled. You could tell he was angry. 

“That’s not necessary, Shua. But… I want to know why Jeonghan even knew about the kiss,” you mumbled.

Joshua frowned as he sat down next to you. “I’m sorry. We were just chatting, and it slipped,” he apologised. 

“Well, you should be more careful. It’s not fucking okay to do that,” you muttered.

Joshua’s eyes widened at your tone. “Why? Is it embarrassing to kiss me?” he accused, and you stared at him in shock. 

“Oh, don’t even go there. You know I’m the one people laugh at and look at funny. The one everyone knows got a pity invite. And now they all probably think that you kissed me out of pity, too, and now they’re laughing at me!” you ranted, making Joshua scoff at you. 

“I don’t know that much. You don’t let me in about a lot in your personal life or your past, but no one pities you here. No one thinks that—only you do,” Joshua commented, making you feel small. 

“We all have a past, and I’m not trying to fucking invalidate yours, but you need to get over whatever happened to you in high school. This is a fresh start, so instead of victimising yourself every chance you get, maybe get out of that self-pity bubble you’ve trapped yourself in and realise that people might give a fuck about you! But if you keep wallowing and crying over stupid shit like this, then no one will want to be your friend for real,” he huffed out.

When you didn’t speak, Joshua looked up to see how you looked even more devastated than when you came in initially crying over Nia’s comments; he had made you cry more. 

“Y/N—” Joshua started to say, but you shook your head at him. 

“You’re right. I’m being a pain in the ass,” you mumbled, making Joshua groan. 

“That’s not what I’m trying to say, but if that’s how you keep taking it, then sure, you might as well be,” he added, and you nodded. 

“Can you leave? I have an assignment due tomorrow,” you mumbled, getting off your bed and walking to your desk, turning your back to Joshua, making it clear you wanted to be left alone. 

Joshua felt like a complete moron. He knew he was being a dick, but he didn’t like how you spoke in riddles. He didn’t like that. He wanted proper sentences, and you gave him emotion but no real problem. 

Joshua tossed and turned in his bed that night. What was your past? Why were you always suspicious of anyone who wanted to be your friend? Why were you always so guarded? 

He didn’t bother taking the time to look at the clock. Instead, he jumped out of bed and out of his room across the hall and pounded on your door until you opened it, glaring at him. 

“You could have woken up the entire fucking flat,” you hissed as you let him in. 

“Tell me,” Joshua breathed out, and you stared at him, confused. 

“Tell you what?” you asked.

“What happened in your past?” He asked as he sat on your bed, immediately getting comfortable under your blanket. 

“Didn’t you, just like, a few hours ago, oh, I don’t know, tell me to not wallow in my sadness and that I should get over it?” you mocked. 

Joshua sank, shaking his head for a second and holding his hand to you. “Sit. Tell me. Look, I was careless with my words. I just wanted you to stop feeling terrible. But instead of saying that or taking measures to ensure that, I lashed out. I don’t like seeing people sad, but I can be quite clueless when helping them out,” Joshua admitted. You nodded, sitting on the bed but not taking his hand to make a point. 

“I don’t know what it was about me, whether it was my hair, skin or whatever… Maybe I had a goofy smile? And I guess no one liked that? Maybe? I don’t know. All I know is that the kids in my school suddenly decided that I wasn’t worth being friends with,” you started out, struggling to keep your voice steady as you recalled your painful memories, opening old wounds that you had only wrapped in gauze, never adequately healing them. 

“All these students… they would never include me in games or let me sit at their table during lunch, so I’d play alone, eat alone. And then, one year, a group of guys thought it’d be great to act like I was so hideous that they’d cover their eyes for fear of being burned by my ugly face or something,” you mumbled. 

You noticed Joshua’s jaw clench out of the corner of your eyes.

“That went on for a year, the calling me ugly things, but the general feeling and act of being excluded from everything happened and continued until the last day of school. If I’m being honest, everyone just acted as if I inconvenienced them, so I carry that, Shua. I assume I’m always a burden no matter where I go.”

“I fucking hate that, but, and I ask this not to blame you, but out of genuine curiosity and concern, did no one know?” Joshua asked. 

You sighed. 

“Teachers weren’t blind. They knew, but if no one was physically attacking me, they kept their mouths shut. I told a counsellor, and her advice to me was that I should seek compassion for those who bully me because they’re probably victims of bullying themselves,” you scoffed, recalling the god-awful advice the counsellor gave you. 

“What about your parents?” Joshua asked, and you shook your head. 

“Never, no. I mean, I’m sure they guessed. I never had any birthday parties, but I didn’t want to tell them,” you mumbled. 

“Why?” Joshua asked, and you shrugged. 

“I felt stupid because everyone else in school could make friends; they could go a full day without being bullied or mocked or made fun of, and I couldn’t, and I didn’t want to burden them,” you admitted, letting out a muffled sob. 

“They’re your parents; they wouldn’t think you’re being a burden. You’re their daughter,” Joshua offered, and you shrugged. 

“I wore a skirt to a school disco once, and all the others could do was point out how funny I looked. Everything and anything I did in school, I felt like a hundred eyes watching me, waiting for me to fuck up,” you explained, taking a deep breath. 

“All through school, I lived like that, so forgive me for being cautious when a new guy—especially a guy like you—openly welcomes me as his friend,” you mumbled, making Joshua quirk his brows at you. 

“A guy like me?” Joshua asked.

“A hot and handsome guy. A guy like you would be the boyfriend of one of the pretty girls, someone like Nia. You’d be with her, and you two would give me sickly sweet smiles before laughing at me the minute my back was turned, and I – I guess I know you’re not that kind of a person, but when Nia snapped at me and used the fact you kissed me as an attack… it felt like that I was back in high school,” you admitted. 

“I see,” Joshua said before turning you around to face him. “I’m going to ask you something, and you need to be honest with me, okay?” Joshua asked. You nodded. “Did you think I was mocking you when I told Jeonghan we kissed?” he asked.

You nodded slowly. “I know you wouldn’t, but… I have a past where guys that looked like you and Jeonghan would mock me, and girls like Nia would get guys like you while I sat on the sidelines and watched,” you reasoned, and Joshua nodded. 

“You’ve survived a lot, and I’m sorry you even had to go through it in the first place, but please know one thing: I’m not going to ever hurt you like that,” Joshua said, kissing your hand softly. 

“I kissed you that night because I wanted to, not because I felt pity or anything. Girls like Nia… I don’t know what to make of that sentence, but I kissed you, not her. I find you beautiful, and I’ll gladly go blue in the face repeating it to you,” Joshua proclaimed, making you smile. 

“It’s not out of pity either. I wish you could see yourself the way I do one day,” he inched forward. 

“Can I?” He finally asked.

You nodded, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt his soft lips on yours. Moments later, Joshua pulled away and smiled at you. 

“You’re beautiful. And I hope you’ll understand that every time I kiss you, it’s not because I have an ulterior motive but because I want to.” 

You didn’t know how to respond, so you simply blushed and smiled at him, nodding. 

“Now cuddle me. I want to sleep, and I know you don’t have an assignment tomorrow, considering you messaged me saying freedom in capitals,” Joshua joked as he pulled you into his arms. 

You couldn’t help but melt at the fact that he remembered that little detail that would haunt you and make you overthink everything Joshua would ever do. 

~~

You had never slept next to a boy before. Let alone wake up with his arms wrapped around your waist and his leg thrown over yours. But here you were the following day – laying in Joshua’s vice-like embrace.ou moved slightly to get up, and you thought you were successful until you heard Joshua let out a soft moan. 

You froze. You were sure that was just a regular moan he would let out in his sleep until he moved his leg, and you felt his hardness against your inner thigh. You might have never felt the touch of another pair of lips on yours until a month ago, but you weren’t an idiot. You could tell an erection when you felt one. You knew Joshua was turned on. But then again, you recalled reading that sometimes men just get hard for no reason.

That was it, you thought to yourself. It wasn’t because he was attracted to you; it was simply because there was a concept known as ‘morning wood’, and Joshua was prominently exhibiting it. Still, you couldn’t help feeling butterflies in your stomach. You couldn’t help the arousal you felt start to pool in your panties. 

You were a virgin, not a moron; you knew what was happening to you. And you needed Joshua to leave as soon as possible so that you could take care of the problem he caused. 

“Joshua,” you mumbled, trying to move away from him, which only made him move against you more, allowing his length to brush against your inner thigh over and over. He was incredibly long, is what you gathered. Very well endowed. 

“Stop moving,” Joshua mumbled sleepily as he pulled you tighter to him, moving his hips again as his length brushed against you, this time dangerously close to your aching cunt. You knew you needed to stop him before it escalated, and he regretted it. 

“Shua!” you yelped, pinching him, making him groan as he jolted awake, glaring at you as you broke free from his embrace. 

“Woman, will you let me sleep?” Joshua complained, his morning voice doing nothing to ease the ache in your pussy. It was so husky and deep… You wanted that voice to wake up to every morning for the rest of your life. 

“Not until that goes away!” you blurted out, making Joshua look at you funny until he followed your gaze down to his cock–his very hard cock. 

“Oh fuck! Well… this is just a normal thing,” Joshua said, chuckling, and you knew you hated how that made you feel. You wished to be the reason to arouse him, but he chalked it up to biology. “If I’m not out of line in saying this, you would also cause a similar problem, and holding you in my arms like that last night…  felt nice. So I’m sure my body was showing its appreciation in ways I didn’t,” he explained further, making you look down at the duvet with a stupid smile adorning your face. 

“Joshua, if you need to take care of it, you should do it. I don’t know what to do,” you mumbled quickly, earning a nod from Joshua. 

“Wait, ever?” Joshua asked, hating how incredulity laced his voice. 

“No. You don’t need to sound so shocked,” you mumbled, feeling defensive. 

“I’m not; I’m sorry, it’s the ass crack of dawn, and my brain is barely functioning,” Joshua defended.

You rolled your eyes at him. “And yet your cock was nestled in my ass crack,” you teased, your eyes widening in horror when you realised what you said. 

“Did you like it?” Joshua suddenly asked; his demeanour changed as he leaned back against the wooden headboard, making you gulp. 

His erection was more prominent with this slight adjustment. 

“I asked you a question. Did you like my cock rubbing against you,” Joshua repeated, this time his eyes burning into yours, and you knew you couldn’t lie. 

“What am I meant to say? I’m human,” you replied lamely, hoping it’d give him enough of an answer for him just to drop it. 

“So, it turned you on?” Joshua asked instead. 

You glared at him. “Why do you want to know?” 

Joshua smiled at you, admitting, “Because to think you are turned on… it’s fucking hot,”  

You wanted to yell but bit your lip to avoid verbalising your thoughts. 

“It’s even hotter knowing that I’m the reason behind it,” he added, and you kept staring at the duvet. 

“You should go,” you said abruptly, making him look at you in confusion. 

Even you weren’t entirely sure why you said that. 

Well, you did know why you didn’t want to be intimate with him: for fear that he’d take one look at what you had to offer and be repulsed. You’d be led to believe so what would stop him?

“If I overstepped,” he started to say, and you shook your head and held your hand out to him. 

“You didn’t! Just go!” you rushed, getting off the bed, indicating to Joshua that he, too, should leave. 

“I’ll catch you later?” Joshua quietly offered, and you nodded, waving to him awkwardly as he walked out of your room.

You let out a breath you were holding after he left. 

You shook your head, cursing yourself for kicking him out, but you knew you did the right thing. Joshua, just like any other man, had eyes and would be disgusted once he saw what you hid under your clothes. 

~~

Later that day, you walked into your lecture hall, cursing, when you saw that the only empty seat left was the one next to Nia. You sighed as you moved to sit down next to her, and she hesitated for a second before moving her bag down to the floor allowing you to sit next to her. 

“Hey,” you mumbled. 

You weren’t entirely sure why you were trying to converse with her when she had been rude to you, but you didn’t have many friends. This meant you didn’t have very high standards or understand boundaries.

“Hi,” Nia replied. Her tone was clipped. 

You assumed it was because she didn’t want to be disruptive during a lecture. She gave you a tight-lipped smile before returning to the front of the screen. 

“Y/N, hold up,” Nia called after you as you started to walk out of the lecture theatre once the professor had dismissed everyone. “Thanks for ratting me out to Joshua, by the way,” she taunted, and your eyes widened. 

“Look, I’m sorry for what I said to you. That was really shit. But you ran to Joshua, who then told Jeonghan, and then Jeonghan took it upon himself to lecture me about being kind to one another for twenty minutes. Either way, I shouldn’t have said what I said, so this is my apologies. 

“We good?” Nia asked, and you nodded. 

Not understanding what boundaries meant and not having many friends made you realise that your bar for human decency could have been higher. They needed to be higher. You knew that what Nia said to you was barely an apology. It was more of an “I’m sorry you got offended” apology, a shallow apology usually reserved for celebrities and their notes app. 

“It’s fine, I’m sorry, it’s just that Joshua caught me crying that day, and I guess I ended up telling him everything,” you rambled, biting your tongue, realising that you should have done it sooner, for it would have prevented you from oversharing.

Your bond with Joshua was sacred; you didn’t want any other girl or anyone to come in between that. You knew it was selfish and childish, but he held your entire life in his hands, and he didn’t know it. 

“So, are you two close friends then?” Nia asked as you two walked down the hall to the quad. 

“Yes,” you confirmed. You were shy about most things, but not this. You were his friend, one of his closest. 

“Then, do you know if he’s currently got his eyes on anyone?” Nia asked, her tone lowering slightly and your eyes widening at her question. 

“Wait, what?” you asked, and Nia smiled at you, the kind of smile that reminded you of the girls in school who called you pretty – only to say that you were pretty ugly. 

“Oh, I’m just screwing with you. He’s hot, but don’t worry. I don’t need your advice to get him. Besides, he and I have already kissed once,” Nia casually stated, making your heart sink. 

“What? When?” you asked, your voice a mere whisper. 

“Oh, you know, the night you chickened out for the dare to get pecked by Joshua? Someone dared him to kiss me after you left, and he did. I have to say I wanted to know what else he could do with his mouth,” Nia chuckled, making you feel like your stomach was twisting. 

You needed to leave. 

You couldn’t hear this. 

“I have to rush back, but I’ll catch you later?” you rushed, and Nia smirked, nodding and sending you a sickly-sweet smile. 

You were beyond thankful that your feet still moved because your mind was starting to malfunction and short-circuit. 

Joshua kissed you after he kissed Nia. That meant it was a pity kiss. And not only that, you were so taken away by the sweet cherry taste on his lips. Now it hit you that the taste was not only cherry but also peach, and it wasn’t his lip balm. It was hers. 

Joshua had kissed you without even bothering to remove the evidence that he kissed Nia minutes ago. 

But it wasn’t his fault, you thought. You were so desperate to be loved and feel the intimacy – to feel a proper kiss, the kind of kisses your friends bragged about – that you didn’t care that your first proper kiss was not only a pity kiss but that you also tasted another woman’s lip balm with it. 

You felt so stupid. 

Joshua had lied to you about what the kiss meant and failed to tell you that he kissed Nia. But then again, he was under no obligation to tell you anything. Where his lips went was not your business. You weren’t his girlfriend. You were just his friend. 

“Y/N, keep storming around like that, and you’ll burn a hole into the rug,” Joshua joked, his voice interrupting your thoughts when you realised that while you were busy ripping yourself to shreds, you reached back to the dorms. “Oh, by the way, I got something I want to show you. Can I show you in your room?” he asked excitedly. 

You couldn’t help the jealousy, bitterness, and anger that overtook your following words. “Sure, but are you sure that you didn’t show Nia first and are putting on an act now, pretending to show me?” you spat at him, taking Joshua aback. 

“Run that by me again?” he asked, and you scoffed as you opened your room door. Joshua walked in behind you, making you glare at him. 

“You kissed Nia that night. The night you kissed me, the first night. You kissed her and then kissed me,” you mumbled, hating how vulnerable and weak you sounded at this moment.

Joshua kept going from being your safe space to a man who toyed with your feelings. 

“I, fuck, how did you find out?” he asked, running his hand over his face and letting out a deep exhale, and you stared at him. 

“You’re not going to deny it?” you asked, and Joshua shrugged. 

“I’m not going to lie to you,” he offered bluntly, making you scoff. 

“You had no problem lying to me that night,” you countered, and Joshua shook his head at you. 

“I didn’t lie. I omitted a fact. But yeah, you’re right. Why did this conversation even occur? What did Nia say, exactly?” 

You sighed at Joshua’s questions. “Doesn’t matter. The point is that you kissed me after you kissed her,” you mumbled.

Joshua frowned as he inched closer to you to place his hands on your face, making you look at him. “Why does that matter?” he asked so innocently that you felt like you couldn’t even be upset. 

But you were. “Because I was a consolation kiss! You might not see it that way, but I fucking do, Joshua! I do. And you know what? It fucking sucks to know that you only kissed me because you felt bad for me. You kissed me after kissing the pretty girl, too, to what? Show that you’re capable of charity?” you accused. 

Joshua groaned. “I get your past, and I get why it’s making you lash out in the ways it is, but you cannot compare everything I do to the people who fucked you over in the past! I’m not one of them,” Joshua defended, earning a dry laugh from you. 

“Really? Because you are sure as shit fucking me over like them. I don’t want you kissing me or saying lewd things when you get hard from cuddling me because you think it’s easy to fuck with my feelings. I might not have any experience with all this, Joshua, but I have plenty of experience with being hurt and fucked over. You’re not the one I expected it to come from, though,” you spat back. 

Joshua just sighed. “Look, come find me when you want to talk like an adult. But if every little piece of gossip sets you off like this, I cannot keep up,” Joshua announced as he stormed out of your room. 

It was only your room he left… so why did it feel like he walked out of your life and broke your heart with the door as it slammed shut behind him?

~~

You didn’t talk to Joshua for two weeks. 

You’d bump into him often. How could you not? He stayed across from you, and it was hard to avoid your neighbour. Except it seemed like he would go out of his way to ignore you and express his disdain for you. 

At first, you assumed you were being dramatic, just like Joshua would call you dramatic. Maybe he, too, realised he wanted nothing to do with you, just like everyone else. 

“Penny, for your thoughts?” the guy suddenly asked you one day when you returned from your lecture. 

“You’re talking to me now?” you asked, puzzled. Joshua smiled, nodding. 

“I thought I wasn’t enough of an adult?” you snapped, making Joshua wince as you unlocked your door. 

However, he still followed you inside your room, making you narrow your eyes at him. 

“I didn’t realise I invited you in?” you asked, and he frowned, looking down at his feet. 

“I know I did something shitty to you, and it’s even worse because I wasn’t an adult myself. Hell, I stormed out of your room,” Joshua admitted, chuckling, and you sighed deeply at him. 

“I know I was too much. I just have a past,” you mumbled, and Joshua nodded. 

“I’m not trying to negate it, Y/N, but at some point you need to move past it. You have a clean slate to do whatever you want; why don’t you take advantage of that?” Joshua offered, and you nodded at him. 

“I know, and I get it. But with my past, Shua, I just – I let it haunt me so much that I end up struggling to believe that anyone could ever like me for me,” you admitted, and Joshua frowned as he moved to stand in front of you, his tall frame dwarfing you. 

“I’m so sorry that I was not more understanding. Truly, I am. I should have been, fuck. I just let my immaturity get the best of me,” Joshua apologised, and you shook your head at him. 

“We’re both learning. You have no reason to apologise to me. I’m serious. You don’t,” you admitted, and Joshua smiled softly at you as he wrapped you in a tight embrace. 

“How about we blow off steam at the party that Jeonghan’s flat is hosting?” Joshua offered. 

“I don’t know, the last party did nothing but cause drama, or rather, I overreacted,” you mumbled softly, making Joshua shake his head at you. 

“Your reactions are valid. Please don’t let me or anyone take that away from you,” Joshua comforted you, making you smile softly at him. 

“So, what’s the occasion of this party?” you asked, and Joshua shrugged. 

“I honestly don’t know, and I quote Jeonghan on this: who needs a reason? A party is a party,” Joshua chuckled, making you smile along with him. “Come on, go get ready, and we can go!” Joshua cheered, making you smile at him. “Look, we’re going to have ups and downs in our friendships. Isn’t that normal? But I promise I’ll keep the dramatic storming out of rooms to a minimum,” he joked, making you nod at him. 

“What should I wear?” you asked, making Joshua grin.

“Whatever you feel comfortable in,” he answered, making you swoon at his answer. 

It was a simple statement, but he never pressured you to look a certain way. But you still let your demons get the best of you. 

Was the reason why he didn’t deem it necessary to tell you to wear something nice that, regardless of what you wore, he’d never consider you attractive, so it didn’t matter?

“I can hear you overthinking. I’m saying wear something comfortable because it’s a flat party, not because I think you can’t pull off something else. I know you can. Hell, if you want to wear a dress and heels tonight, I support it, but I know you won’t be comfortable in it, not at a house party,” Joshua rationalised, calming the demons in your mind and making you nod and smile at him. 

“Sorry,” you gave him a sheepish smile, and Joshua shook his head at you. 

“Stop apologising for how you feel,” he said as he moved to open your wardrobe. 

“Oh, what about this? It’s sparkly?” Joshua beamed as he handed you a sparkly green top. 

You bought it on a whim once; it was what all the pretty girls in the magazines wore, it was what all the cute girls wore, and you just thought that if you wore that, you too would be pretty. 

“It’s stunning, and I think it’d make you sparkle and look like a mermaid,” Joshua laughed. 

“Mermaids are attractive?” You asked, taking the green top from him. 

“Listen, Ariel is fucking hot,” he declared, making you laugh. 

“She nearly gave up everything for a guy. A guy who she knew nothing about, and all because he was handsome,” you mumbled. 

“Not a Little Mermaid Fan?” Joshua asked, and you shook your head. 

“Not a fan of how much she gave up for him,” you mumbled, and he nodded, sensing that if he didn’t divert your attention somewhere else, this conversation would take a very gloomy turn.

“To be fair, and I’m just assuming here, it wouldn’t be easy to sustain a relationship with a damn fish,” Joshua said knowingly, making you laugh. 

“Okay, get out, you fish expert. I need to get ready,” you joked, pushing Joshua towards your door, and he nodded. 

“Be ready in about thirty minutes?” Joshua offered, and you nodded. 

~~

You were done with your shower, and as you walked out, you almost liked what you saw in the mirror. 

Almost. 

You wore the sparkly green top, paired it with black jeans, and wore your stripped Converse. You dusted a light wash of makeup on your face and some mascara on it then reached for the peach-flavoured gloss and dabbed your lips with a small amount before smiling in the mirror. 

“Ready?” You heard Joshua yelling obnoxiously outside your door, making you cringe at him. 

“You’re insufferable,” you giggled as you opened the door, laughing at him. 

Your laughter stuck in your throat when you took in Joshua’s appearance. 

“Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” Joshua giggled, making you glare at him. 

“You look good, okay,” you huffed, making Joshua smile. 

“Likewise. Shall we go? Jeonghan’s been texting me. Oh, by the way, Nia will be there,” Joshua said, his voice softening as he spoke her name. 

“Shua, I can manage. She might have just been having a bad day. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s fine. It’s all in the past,” you said, not meaning it entirely, but Joshua was right. You couldn’t live your entire life crying at every upsetting situation. 

“If she steps out of line, I’ll put her back in place, I promise,” Joshua added, and you smirked at him. 

“Kinky,” you joked before slapping a hand over your mouth, your eyes widening in shock at what you said. 

“Oh, do you want to find out?” Joshua teased, making you look down shyly. 

“Come on, Jeonghan is waiting,” you said shyly as you dragged him across the hall to flat 2B. 

You didn’t see it then, and how you wish you did because your words lit a fire of envy in Joshua, one he could not douse and one that ended up ruining the night. 

~~

The house party was going quite well, there were no silly dares and no bitchy comments, but you couldn’t place your finger on Joshua’s behaviour. The entire night, he was distant and standoffish with you. 

Hell, he was chatting with Nia for a fair bit, but you chalked it up to the fact that you were a chronic over-thinker and that Joshua didn’t necessarily mean to do what he did with the intent of hurting you. 

“I like your top, by the way,” Jeonghan said rather loudly and drunkenly, and you smiled, thanking him. 

“Oh, thank you. Actually, Joshua helped pick it out,” you answered, and you saw Joshua smile warmly at you. He was about to respond when Nia spoke before him instead. 

“Why? You can’t choose your outfits or something?” Nia mocked, earning a couple of chuckles from what you could only guess were her minions. 

“I…” you mumbled, lost. 

Joshua was about to speak, but something stopped him. That something was Jeonghan, who shot daggers at Nia, making her roll her eyes. 

“Anyways, I was promised games, and all we’ve done is drink and make small talk,” Nia complained, and Jeonghan nodded slowly. 

“Get the cards then, and we can start playing,” Jeonghan said as he turned to face you. 

“You look beautiful, don’t listen to her. She has this bitchy persona, but she’s actually nice. Just got to get past the ice-cold persona,” Jeonghan mumbled to you. 

You smiled at him before noticing how Joshua smiled at Nia and whatever she whispered. 

Didn’t he say he’d set Nia straight if she spoke out of turn? So why didn’t he? 

“Alright, we’re just playing snap but with dares and forfeits if you don’t do your dare,” Nia explained once one of her friends brought her a deck of cards to her. 

It was quite an easy game, and the night was progressing smoothly. Nia hadn’t made a single snide comment, and thankfully, your speed made you avoid some stupid dares. 

“Oh! Joshua, you lost that round. You have to complete a dare!” One of Nia’s friends squealed, making you wince. 

“Ugh, I knew it. What do I have to do?” Joshua asked, smiling. You felt your heart starting to pound in your chest. 

“Make out with Nia. I know you guys only kissed, but this time, a proper make out,” Nia’s friend suggested, making your heart fall into your stomach with her suggestion. 

Surely, he wouldn’t say yes. 

“Sure, why not?” Joshua chuckled as he turned to face Nia, who shot you a smirk before meeting to place her lips on his, earning a few wolf whistles and cheers from the others in the room as they kissed. 

They fit together. It made sense. She knew what to do. You didn’t. 

You could feel your eyes burn with tears and knew you had to leave. You couldn’t watch this. You couldn’t keep watching this. 

You got up to leave but got up so hastily that you failed to notice that your glittery top got snagged by the edge of the table. The tear was barely noticeable, but the scrape of your chair against the floor was loud and got everyone’s attention, including Nia who smirked at you. 

“See, this is why you should dress for your body, not just based on trends. I guess that the rip was the universe’s way of letting you know that the shirt needed to be let out a bit,” Nia said with a straight face, her voice devoid of emotion, but her words were laced with venom. 

The venom that you could feel was starting to move in your body and to your heart and brain, making you hate everything about your body and yourself more than usual. 

Nia’s vile comments finally made Joshua snap as he pulled away from her and stood up. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He shouted at Nia as she shrugged. 

“She looked silly in that top. Is that why you picked it up, Shua? Because you couldn’t resist, knowing how stupid she would look in that?” Nia added, smirking. Her words were slurred, so you knew not to believe her, or at least that’s what you told yourself. 

But then again, doesn’t a drunken mind speak sober thoughts?

“Y/N!” Joshua called out as you turned your back to everyone and tried to leave. 

You took a deep breath before turning to him. “I’m fine, just tired,” you mumbled before exiting the flat. 

~~

After the flat party, you returned to your room, and you stood in front of your mirror in your underwear after a shower. 

You stared hard; you could see every dent, mark, and scar on your body. 

You weren’t chubby, far from it, but you weren’t a size two. 

You had curves, which came at the cost of more stretch marks. 

You had long, wavy hair that never seemed to cooperate with you. 

Nia was right; you didn’t look good. 

You were so immersed in picking yourself apart that you failed to notice Joshua walk in and wrap his arms around your waist.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he mumbled into your bare skin, and you could feel his toned arms under the flimsy fabric of your bra. 

“For what? She’s just telling the truth. She’s the kind of flawless I wish I could be,” you mumbled, squinting at the reflection. 

You hated what you looked like. You sighed deeply before removing Joshua’s arms around you. 

“I fucked up. I said I’d defend you, and I didn’t,” Joshua mumbled, and you sighed, sitting on your bed. 

Joshua sat down, kneeling, making you look into his big eyes shining with unshed tears. 

“Why the fuck are you the one about to cry? I’m the one that got body-shammed in front of everyone. You got the pretty girl, and you got to even kiss her!”

“I’m about to cry because I have been spouting this loyalty bullshit from day one, and when it came to you, I just let it go. And I guess it’s because you dropped my hand when I was being suggestive and ran off to find Jeonghan instead,” Joshua grumbled, and you scoffed at him. 

“That’s such a pathetic reason. I only ran off like that because, you know, I’m uncomfortable with sexual innuendos and jokes. I’ve never experienced anything, so how can I pursue a conversation further?” You questioned.

Joshua just frowned as he looked to the ground. 

“I didn’t,” you started to say and moved to kneel until you were on your knees, sitting in front of Joshua. “I didn’t run because I wanted to get cosy with Jeonghan. But I’ll say he was a better friend than you were tonight,” you finished and stood up, grabbing an oversized shirt off your chair, pulling it over your body, and moving to Joshua. 

“I was seeing red, and like a fucking dick, I said nothing. I didn’t pick that top for you because I wanted to mock you. I picked it because you looked lovely in it. It fits you like a glove,” Joshua spoke, and you scoffed at him. 

“Are you sure I didn’t look like a stuffed turkey instead?” you mocked, and Joshua shook his head. 

“I don’t know what Nia’s deal is—I don’t fucking know—but you didn’t look silly in the outfit. It’s your body; you wear what you want. You looked lovely, my angel,” Joshua smiled as he spoke, and you quirked your brows at him. 

“My angel?” you echoed, and Joshua blushed slightly. 

“I give nicknames,” he mumbled.

“Oh,” you mumbled.

“Only to the ones I love,” he replied, making your heart swoon. 

You knew you already had it wrong for Joshua, but his saying made you swoon more. You felt safe, and you knew that you were falling for him.

“I didn’t look stupid in the green top?” you asked again, and Joshua smiled, turning to face you. 

“No, you didn’t. Fuck Nia and her stupid ass opinions,” Joshua huffed, hoping it’d make you laugh, but somehow it failed. 

“Wasn’t that your aim tonight? To fuck her. I mean, I gathered that was the aim because you leapt at the chance to kiss her,” you spat at Joshua, who shrank at the accusation. 

“I just… fuck, I screwed up. I told you that I got mad, and I fucked up. I fucking did. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Joshua mumbled, and you sighed. 

“It hurt to watch that,” you voiced, and Joshua nodded. 

“Did, uh, did you want to kiss me instead?” Joshua asked, and your eyes widened. 

“Is this some sort of stupid game you play where you kiss Nia first and then come back and give me a pity kiss? Because if it is, I want nothing to do with it,” you said as you tried to get up, only to have Joshua pull you back onto his lap, glaring at you. 

“It’s not. Fuck, do you not realise that I had kissed you before, which wasn’t a fucking pity kiss? Two, I got hard for you. And now I want to kiss you because you looked amazing at that party, but you look even better in this stupid shirt that I kind of want to rip you off!” Joshua exclaimed, making your eyes widen. 

“Oh,” you said, unsure of how to respond.

Joshua rolled his eyes at you. “Yeah, oh,” he huffed, making you giggle. 

You didn’t know where you felt a surge of confidence rush into your blood, but you did, and as it did, the words tumbled out of your mouth sooner than you could stop them. 

“Then kiss me,” you whispered out. 

Okay, maybe you weren’t that confident, but you said the words, and you knew Joshua heard them because his grip around your waist tightened. 

Joshua didn’t say anything. He simply pulled you in closer until your lips met his. You ignored the taste of cherry lip gloss on his lips and instead tried to enjoy his taste, but you couldn’t. You eventually sighed into the kiss as you pulled away. 

“Did I do something?” Joshua asked, and you shook your head. 

“I just… I keep tasting Nia’s stupid cherry lip gloss on your lips, and it’s killing the mood,” you admitted, making Joshua sigh as he used his shirt to wipe his lips. 

“Try again,” he encouraged, and so you did. 

This time, you could taste him; the cherry flavour was an aftertaste, but one you could swallow because you liked him too much to care. 

As the kiss progressed, Joshua’s grip on your waist only got tighter, and you kept moving against his hips, making him groan into the kiss. He was so big and thick that you could feel yourself grow wetter each minute. 

“Wait, stop,” he mumbled against your lips, his grip still tight on your waist because he knew you’d run away the second he told you to stop. “Where does all this leave us? The slight dry-humping, the kisses?” he asked, and you smiled at him. 

You wanted to tell him you liked and wanted to date him, but you didn’t want to scare him off. So, you decided to choose an option that would only hurt you. 

But if that was the only way you could ever have Joshua, so be it.

“How about we just keep it casual?” You said, trying to sound nonchalant and unbothered, and Joshua nodded. 

“I agree,” Joshua replied, not leaving room for an explanation as his lips were back on yours instantly, making you moan into the kiss. 

Casual it is.

~~

Over the next three weeks, you learnt what casual meant. It meant still being friends with Joshua and having your usual movie nights with him. And then sometimes you’d end up on his lap, kissing him. 

A week after the casual arrangement began, you found yourself bare-chested and at the mercy of Joshua’s lips and hands running all over your breasts while you palm his hard length over his boxers. 

In the second week of understanding what casual meant, you found yourself clenching around his long fingers as they moved inside of you. You didn’t entirely realise how it happened. Still, it felt so good that you didn’t want to stop it. You were riding the wave of euphoria for as long as you could, and you couldn’t see it crashing anytime soon. You had also given your first blowjob. It was glorious watching Joshua fall apart under your touch. It was a sight you wanted to be tattooed in your brain. 

During the third week of understanding the word casual, you felt pleasure you only thought was confined to porn and smutty fanfiction, but when you two stumbled back drunkenly after a night out, you couldn’t control your hormones. 

You wanted him. 

“Joshuaie!” you slurred slightly as he helped you back to your room. 

It was a Friday night, and you had too much to drink. As a result, you ended up stumbling a bit, but you weren’t drunk, far from it. But you also had a pep to your step, one that did not help you walk. 

“Sit,” Joshua ordered as he helped you sit on your bed. 

His tone was slightly cold, and you immediately felt like he had poured cold water all over you. With one word, you sobered up immediately and let out a sniffle. 

“I’m sorry I ruined your night out. I’ll be fine. You can go back and enjoy yourself,” you mumbled as you kicked your shoes off and scurried under your covers.

Joshua sighed as he walked into your ensuite bathroom, grabbed your makeup wipes, returned to you, and sat on your bed. 

“Sit up,” he said, his tone softer this time, his kind eyes sparkling with endearment. 

“You didn’t ruin my night, none of it. Fuck, I just got annoyed. A few guys made some shitty comments about you, and I wanted to punch them,” Joshua explained as you sat up, and he moved to wipe the makeup off your face gently. 

“Oh, they probably said I looked hideous; no need to get mad at that, nothing I’m not used to,” you admitted, letting out a sad chuckle. 

“Is that what you fucking think?” Joshua asked, and you shrugged, at which he sighed, kicking off his shoes.

You shrugged. “Is it not?” 

Joshua shook his head. “Fuck, they couldn’t stop talking about all the sexual things they wanted to do to you, and I wanted to just punch them. No man should ever talk about a woman like that. It’s so stupid,” Joshua huffed out, making you smile. 

“Well, at least I was being complimented,” you sassed back, spilling out of your bed as you drunkenly stumbled into your bathroom and stepped into your shower, the alcohol making you forget Joshua’s presence in the room.

Thankfully, you always kept an oversized shirt in the bathroom, which you changed into before stepping out of the shower and walking back into the room. 

“The things those guys were saying weren’t complimentary. They were sexist and disgusting hell. If it were me…” Joshua trailed off when you joined him on your bed. 

“What would you say, huh?” you asked, and Joshua smiled as he inched closer to you. 

“I’d do more than speak,” he answered. 

The atmosphere in the room suddenly changed; it was now filled with want and desire, and you decided to bask in the glory and be bolder. 

“Show me then,” you mumbled. 

“You’ve been drinking,” Joshua mumbled, and you shrugged. 

“Your point? I’m buzzed, but I can consent. I can count to ten backwards if you want,” you joked.

Joshua smiled as he stood up, making you stand up with him. He pulled the curtains over your window so that the only thing illuminating the room was your table light. Joshua moved to pull the leather jacket off his body and tossed it on your desk before pulling you into a soft kiss. 

“God, I’ve wanted to do this since I saw you tonight,” he admitted, making you smile. “Can I take this off?” he asked, and you hesitated for a second, then nodded. 

“Just know that… I don’t look like a model underneath,” you mumbled suddenly. Even though Joshua had been intimate with you before, you still felt insecure every time. 

“I’m glad you don’t. You’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful,” Joshua praised you as he pulled the fabric off your body, leaving you naked. 

He walked you backwards until the backs of your knees touched his bed. He gently pushed you down, and you moved back on the bed as he crawled between your legs. He placed his lips on yours. You moaned into the kiss, and Joshua slipped his tongue into your mouth, deepening it. He pulled away gently just to look at you.

“Can I touch you?” Joshua asked, and you nodded slowly. 

He smiled as he placed his lips on yours again, kissing you again, and then moved his mouth to your breasts.

“Fucking hell, these tits. You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to suck and bite them.” 

You moaned as he squeezed your breasts, his fingertips rubbing your nipples. 

“Each time you were in a low-cut top, I wanted nothing more than to bring you into a room and take your tits in my mouth.” 

You squeezed your thighs as Joshua’s words did nothing but torment your aching cunt. 

He moved a hand down your body. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he said as he moved to lay down between your legs. 

He pushed your legs apart, and his tongue found your cunt. He placed several kisses on your cunt, each kiss making you buck into his mouth. He wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Easy, princess, I’m going to take good care of you.” You nodded as he ran his tongue along your folds, moaning as he tasted you. He circled his tongue around your entrance as he pushed his long and thick tongue inside you. 

“Fuck, Joshua,” you cried out, tugging on his hair. 

He growled into your cunt when you tugged on his hair, the vibrations making you shake. He pulled his mouth away from you and pushed two fingers inside you. He stood on his knees and stared at you directly as he hooked his fingers inside you, his other hand pressing down on your stomach.

“Hold still, princess; I will make you scream my name.” 

You nodded, and Joshua started moving his hand up and down vigorously. You could hear just how wet you were getting. 

“Come on, princess, I can hear how fucking wet you are. Wouldn’t it be nice if you just squirted all over my hand?” 

You arched your back as Joshua kept fingering you. 

“Pretty girl, I can hear you squirt for me. I can make you squirt again, don’t worry.” 

You kept whimpering until something inside you snapped, and you felt your vision fade as you came hard. You felt yourself squirt all over Joshua’s fingers. He pulled his fingers out of you and sucked on them. 

“God, you’re so fucking sweet,” Joshua moaned, praising you. You felt a bolt of confidence surge as you got onto your knees. “You don’t have to?” he assured, but you shook your head at him.

“I want to. Will you let me?” 

You reached forward and wrapped your mouth around his length. Well, as much as you could, your hands made up for what your mouth couldn’t. You ran your tongue along his length until you fixated your mouth around his tip. You kept sucking his tip, and your hands reached down to play with his balls. Joshua bucked in your mouth as you kept sucking his tip. 

“Fucking hell.” 

You smirked. Catching Joshua off guard was the only way to get him to submit to you. 

“Fuck, baby, if you keep doing that, I’m going to cum!” 

You kept bobbing your head up and down his length until you felt him still in your mouth and felt his warmth release down your throat. You pulled away, slowly swallowing his release and giving his sensitive tip a final lick. 

“Fuck, get over here,” Joshua moaned as he pulled you into his arms for a sweet kiss. 

You giggled into his chest as he cuddled you, making him nudge you. “What’s on your mind?” 

“You’re perfect,” you said. No mumbling, nothing. You said it confidently. 

“No one’s perfect,” Joshua countered, “plus, you’re only saying that because of the amazing orgasm I just gave you,” Joshua joked, making you groan and sit up. 

“No, you are! You’re so fucking perfect, just you are. I’ll explain someday; right now, it’s fuzzy, but you’re the closest thing to perfection,” you mumbled as you laid back down and curled into Joshua’s embrace. 

“Fuck, I’m going to miss you over winter break,” Joshua spoke, and you nodded. 

“Only three weeks, nothing’s going to change. I’ll still be here,” you said, touching his lips and making him smile into the kiss. 

~~

 The thing about bold statements is that they often come with uncertainty and pain should things not pan out the way you want. Which is precisely what happened to you. 

You said in three weeks nothing would change, but you were wrong because you told yourself that when you were high off the orgasms and falling in love with Joshua, your love only grew stronger every second. 

“Y/N!” Joshua exclaimed when he found you at the café. You were waiting patiently for him. It was the first week back from winter break, and Joshua finally texted to meet up. 

You agreed. You also decided that you wanted to confess to him, to tell him you liked him. 

“Joshua!” You greeted cheerfully as the tall boy hugged you tightly. 

How do you get more handsome every day? 

It was true; Joshua was getting increasingly handsome each day, and you weren’t entirely sure if it was good for your heart. 

“So, what’s up?” he asked once you two sat down in a booth, and he smiled, noticing you ordered his favourite drink for him. 

“Uh, winter break was good. I spent time with family, and uh, Joshua, I have to tell you something,” you started, and he nodded. 

“Me too!” Joshua exclaimed, and you smiled, thinking that maybe you and him were on the same page. Perhaps he liked you the way you liked him. 

“Really?” you asked. “Okay, you first,” you said, and Joshua grinned. 

As he was about to speak, a pair of long, slender arms wrapped around his chest, and a kiss was placed on his cheek. 

You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces – all stabbing you at the same time. 

“Baby, I missed you!” 

You looked to see Nia slide into the booth next to Joshua, making you feel nauseous. You felt like a fucking fool. 

Why would Joshua ever reciprocate what you felt for him? Why would he ever want you when he had a girl like Nia?

“Babe, you’re early. I haven’t told her yet,” Joshua mumbled, apologetic as he awkwardly smiled at you. Nia shrugged. 

“You two are dating?” you asked, and Joshua nodded. 

“We met when I went back home, Nia’s from the same town, and we hung out, and you know, over the last three weeks, she made me the happiest I’ve ever been,” Joshua said, and you could feel your eyes starting to sting with tears. 

“Wait, baby, they just called my order. Be right back,” Nia said, kissing Joshua’s cheek as she waltzed away. 

“I know you’re not her biggest fan, but I promise she’s kind, loving and sweet when you dig past the cold persona. I wanted to tell you, but I also didn’t know how. We weren’t really together or anything, you know?” Joshua mumbled, and that did it for you. 

He never even saw what you two shared as unique. You were nothing to him. 

“Does she make you happy?” You asked, and Joshua nodded, smiling. 

“Then I hope she knows that her side gets her the most amazing man, but if she hurts you,” you started to say, and Joshua shook his head. 

“She won’t!” he said excitedly, and you nodded, knowing that your ‘I’ll hurt her if she hurts you’ speech would be wasted on him.

“Then, go be happy, Joshua, that’s all I want,” you said as you gathered your things. You had to leave this café. You’d fall apart if you stayed any longer. 

“Wait, you said you have something to tell me?” Joshua asked, and you shook your head. 

“I got to go. Another time.” 

You rushed, hurrying out of the café and back to your dorm room, where you cried into your pillow. You cried until you couldn’t cry anymore, then you cried some more. You cried until you couldn’t feel anymore. You cried yourself to sleep, knowing that the boy you loved was never going to be yours. 

You would have to see them, Joshua and Nia. You’d have to see her with him, and it’d hurt because she had everything you had to live without. 

~~

Joshua tried to balance, but he was failing. He would flake on meetings with you and study sessions or hangouts, which started getting on your nerves. You brought it up to him one night during a movie night. 

“Stop making plans if you keep flaking,” you mumbled, and you saw Joshua glare at you. 

“It’s not out of malice. Forget it; you won’t get it,” Joshua dismissed.

“Why wouldn’t I get it?” You asked, and he sighed. 

“You’re not dating anyone. You’ve never been in a relationship either, so I guess you wouldn’t get it,” he mumbled, and you scoffed at him. 

“I don’t have to be doing either of those things to call you out on being a shit friend,” you retorted, making Joshua scoff. 

“You only just made friends, so please don’t act like you have any authority on what friends are meant to do either,” Joshua fired back, making your eyes well up with tears. 

“That’s so mean,” you choked out. 

Joshua groaned. “Oh, for the love of God, I can’t be at your beck and call! I have a life! I’m sorry you don’t, but I do! Why don’t you go out to make some friends? I won’t be able to be there for you all the time, not when someone needs me more, and she’s a priority,” Joshua said. 

His words felt like daggers, slicing you open, drawing blood, but all you felt were tears stinging your eyes. 

“I’m going. You’re right, I should make more friends. Also, I never asked to be a priority, Joshua, but I didn’t expect you to make me an afterthought… But I get it now, you don’t need me,” you explained, tears running down your face as you hurriedly grabbed your bag and stormed out of his room and back to yours. 

He didn’t come after you this time when he made you cry. This time, you were alone. 

And this time, you knew he was not yours. Not anymore. 

~~~

Three Months Later 

You weren’t entirely sure what you were doing at this party; none of the people here were your friends, but you decided to go out because another girl from your dorm, Mai, invited you out. You chose to go since Joshua painfully pointed out how few friends you had and that you should go out and make some. 

You weren’t entirely sure these were the types of friends you wanted to make. You weren’t judging them, but they were just different. They were more outgoing, the type to get wasted and hook up with each other. You judged none of it, but it just wasn’t you. 

“Yo, Y/N, have a shot of this,” Mai said, rushing over to you and handing you a shot glass of clear liquid. “It’ll loosen you up a bit. You’re so wound up,” she moaned, and you sighed, taking a shot of the drink. 

It burnt your throat, but it couldn’t compare to the pain you felt every time you thought of Joshua. 

“Good, have another,” Mai said, handing you another shot, and you did the same thing, downing the clear liquid, shot after shot, until you were four shots in, your mind hazy, and you stopped thinking. 

Instead, you soon found yourself on the dance floor, grinding against some guy. You forgot his name but didn’t care, not when his kisses distracted you from Joshua. And certainly not later when you were back in your room that night, he was down on his knees trying his best to please you. 

“Babe, if you don’t want to, we don’t have to,” he spoke, and you looked at him, his chin wet with your arousal. 

“Kyung,” you drawled; his name finally popped into your mind. “I do. I just don’t have protection,” you mumbled. 

“Oh, is that it? I do,” Kyung said, fishing out a condom from his back pocket, making you smile in amusement. 

You weren’t going to lose your virginity to Joshua. He made it clear that he didn’t see you as someone he’d prioritise, plus he had a girlfriend. 

“Just go slow,” you told Kyung as you pulled your dress off. 

You didn’t care what you looked like anymore. You didn’t. If Kyung could make you feel wanted, you’d do anything to feel that. 

You wanted to know what it felt like to be desired, even if Joshua wasn’t the one to do it. 

~~

You woke up to Kyung gently snoring next to you until you nudged him awake the following day. 

“Hey, oh, are you okay? Any pain, any regrets?” Kyung asked sweetly, and you shook your head. 

“No… Thanks for last night,” you mumbled, and Kyung smiled as he slowly got out of bed. 

“Look, I would stay, but I also don’t think your head is in it because you can tell when someone doesn’t like you, but don’t worry! I’m not mad,” Kyung explained. 

“Kyung, I’m sorry,” you mumbled as he got dressed and shook his head. “It was a hookup, no hard feelings, right?” you asked, and Kyung nodded, smiling at you. 

“Chill, we’re good. But you know, if you ever see me around and you want to repeat what happened last night, I wouldn’t be opposed to it. But if you never want to acknowledge me again, that’s also okay,” Kyung explained, making you smile. 

“I’ll at least say hello,” you joked, making Kyung laugh. 

“See you around, Y/N,” Kyung said as he left your room. You sat in bed and slowly got out later to shower, your legs aching with a good ache. 

It felt nice last night to feel wanted. You felt utterly rejected by Joshua, and you wanted to feel needed, and if doing things like you did last night made you feel the slightest bit wanted, then you’d do it over and over again. 

So, you did. 

You continued it. Going out, getting drunk, hooking up with someone random, and each time, you felt more complete seeing how they drooled when they saw you naked. You enjoyed every moment.

Each hookup was your attempt at filling the Joshua-sized hole in your heart, and though it wasn’t entirely practical, it was enough. It was enough to numb your pain. 

You continued this pattern for so long that you lost track, lost track of how many people you slept with. You just were chasing something permanent in something fleeting. 

~~

You hadn’t spoken to Joshua in two years.

Well, here and there, awkward hellos, but he’d become a ghost to you since he started dating Nia. You pulled away too because you couldn’t be around him, not when you felt your heart break a little more every time you saw him. 

You hadn’t spoken to Joshua in so long, until today, in the final term of your last year of university. You had just returned to the dorms and were unpacking your things after going home for the winter break when you heard a knock on your door.

“Come in, it’s open,” you called out, and your eyes widened when they landed on Joshua’s scowling figure. “Well, hello to you too,” you huffed out. 

You had gained more confidence in the two years but felt every bit of it ebb away when you saw Joshua again. Because when you saw him, you were always the broken-hearted girl who cried over the fact that she could never have him. 

“What the hell are you doing with your life?” He asked, making you stare at him in confusion. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Don’t act stupid with me. What are you doing, hooking up with someone new almost every week? Do you know that this gossip followed me back home?” Joshua accused you, making you scoff. 

“Why do you care? You already made it painfully clear that I was not a priority anymore, so why do you care what I’m doing?” you demanded, and Joshua scoffed. 

“Well, if everyone I know is starting to call you a slut, then I care,” Joshua fired back, making you scoff again. 

“Do you think that?” you asked, and Joshua sighed. 

“If the shoe fits,” he mumbled, and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“That day in the café, I wanted to tell you I liked you,” you started to say as you unpacked your belongings. “I started falling for you, Joshua. The minute you made me feel seen, kissed me, and the three weeks we spent fooling around, I fell more and more. I thought you felt the same,” you said, pausing to breathe. 

“But you didn’t, and I had a Joshua-shaped hole in my heart,” you finished, and Joshua stared at you with wide eyes. 

“All that to say, I make no apologies for how I choose to fix that hole in my heart, and I make no apologies for how I choose to fix what you broke,” you responded. 

“Did you just quote Meredith Grey to me?” Joshua asked, making you roll your eyes at him. 

“Shut up, she had great lines,” you bit back. 

“I’m just saying you’re getting a reputation, and you know people won’t respect you as much,” Joshua babbled, making you scoff at him. 

“I couldn’t give less of a fuck. I’m trying to forget you,” you lied as tears started to pool in your eyes. “I don’t care about the respect of hundreds of people who don’t know me, but I do care about the respect you have for me,” you asked.

Joshua stayed silent, feet planted on the ground. 

“I’ve gotten my answer, thank you,” you replied, and Joshua sighed. 

“You keep this up. You’ll lose everyone,” Joshua retorted, making you roll your eyes at him. 

“I only ever had you, and I lost you the day you started dating Nia, so I think I’m good,” you said, swallowing the lump in your throat. 

“Fine, be that fucking way,” Joshua scowled as he stormed out of your room, slamming the door on his way out, making the hole in your heart grow with every step he took.

~~

“Y/N!” 

You left bed one night when you heard someone yell your name. Startled, you ran to the front door, confused when you saw Jeonghan. 

“Joshua’s in my room, and he’s crying. He needs you,” Jeonghan huffed, and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“No, he doesn’t, he hasn’t for so long. Tell him to go run to Nia,” you spat out, and Jeonghan sighed, running his hand through his blond hair. It was tousled and messy. You guessed that he had just gotten out of bed. 

“Nia is the reason he’s crying, so I can assure you, he does not need her,” Jeonghan deadpanned, making your heart sink. Joshua and Nia had problems? 

“Just go to him, preferably before he drenches my bedsheets with his tears,” Jeonghan rushed, and you sighed, following him across the hall to Jeonghan’s room, where you saw the man you were deeply in love with curled into a ball crying. 

“Joshua?” you said softly, and you only heard a whimper from him in response. 

“Go, I’ll be in the kitchen,” Jeonghan said, pushing you into the room, and you cautiously approached the crying man. 

“She cheated,” Joshua blubbered out, and your heart sank. 

You could only see red. How could she? She had your entire world in her hands and crushed it in one thoughtless moment. 

“I’m going to fucking kill her,” you spat out, and Joshua shook his head. 

“No, just hold me. I don’t want ever to hear her name again,” Joshua begged, and you sighed, giving in to let Joshua cuddle you. 

“I deserved this. I said such shitty things to you. No wonder I’m in this predicament now,” Joshua sighed, and you rolled your eyes. 

“Shut up. You said shitty things. It doesn’t mean you deserved this; no one does; I’m so sorry,” you said, hugging him tighter, earning a soft sigh from him. 

“Y/N, I haven’t been a good friend at all, and I’m going to be one of those douchebags who’s going to ask you to be there for me now because I need you, but I promise this time I won’t hurt you, not again,” Joshua admitted sitting up slightly wiping his eyes. 

“I…” you hesitated and sighed when you saw hurt flash across his handsome features. “Of course I will,” you said, making Joshua smile. 

Of course, you would because you held onto hope. Not that you ever wanted Joshua to get hurt, but he could finally be yours after the hurt passed. 

~~

Joshua was true to his word. Things went back to how they were, you two being the best of buds, no benefits, but still, he was your friend, warming your heart up. This time, it would be fine. 

“You look nice,” Joshua commented as he walked into your room, his hands automatically moving to adjust the zipper you were fiddling with. “There, all done,” he beamed at you. “You look beautiful,” Joshua commented again as he took in your emerald, green floor-length cocktail gown. 

You had just finished getting ready for the final year gala. You smiled at Joshua, and your eyes widened as you took in his appearance. 

“You look just as handsome. Any girl would be lucky to have you,” you suggested, biting your lip when you saw how his expression fell. 

“Let’s not mention that, please?” he asked. 

“She who shall not be named?” you offered with a smile, and Joshua nodded. 

“Yeah, she who shall not be named.” He smiled as you two walked out to your room and the ballroom. 

“Shall we, our final gala as soon-to-be university grads?” Joshua asked, holding his arm to you, and you smiled at him. 

~~

You and Joshua enjoyed the gala. For the most part, there was no drama, just a few odd questions about if you and Joshua were dating, but he quickly shot them down. By the night’s end, you were tipsy enough to spill the words brewing on your tongue for the entire night. 

You still loved him, and tonight, you’d tell him uninterrupted. 

~~

“Okay, what was so important that you needed to drag my ass out here and watch yourself! You’re going to fall over!” Joshua giggled as he wrapped his arm around your waist, making you smile shyly at him. 

This was it; this was the moment you’d tell him everything you felt for him. You’d say to him right here that you loved him. 

“Okay, sit,” you declared to Joshua, who only chuckled and then groaned when you pushed him down onto the icy-cold brick walls that adorned your campus. The décor of your campus made it look like a castle, and at this moment, you felt like you were maybe just in a fairytale. 

Joshua was the prince, and you were the wide-eyed princess about to confess to him. 

“Okay, now shut up and listen,” you giggled, making Joshua laugh. 

“I’ve legit said nothing. The floor is all yours, my love,” Joshua smiled as he spoke, and you melted. That smile would be the death of you. That’s all you knew. 

“So, this year, I felt we became so close. I mean, you were my first friend here, hell, you were probably my first friend here, and I know the last two weeks with your breakup, it wasn’t exactly kind on you. However, you could keep a straight face and smile through whatever pain you tried to hide. Inspired me,” you admitted. You saw Joshua’s smile, and you flashed him a smile before you continued to ramble. 

“I also remember, the night after that awful party, I told you to come and help me out, and you did, and I remember just drunkenly mumbling apologies to you. I think that was the first time I expressed my gratitude for you. You’ve made me a better person, Joshua,” you professed, struggling to look him in the eyes as you poured your heart out.

“I’m not going to lie. Because of the alcohol, I can’t. Honestly, thanks to the alcohol, I can’t remember much of what I said, but I remember you smiling and saying thank you, so I guess I must have said something right!” You drunkenly continued your monologue, making Joshua nod at you. 

“Now,” you said slowly as you stumbled to sit down next to him. 

“I’m going to bring this up quick. The way you shut down when you and Nia broke up. It broke me. I hate the fucking fact that she failed to see how wonderful of a man she lost, but that’s her loss, not yours; I hated that you doubted yourself so much,” you babbled as you placed your hand on his, which made him look up at you. 

“That being said, you inspired me even in your darkest hours. You were able to finally pull yourself out of that shitty headspace, evaluate it, and then reason. It’s something that I admire in you a lot and a trait I wish I also possessed. When I visited you the night, you found out about Nia’s unfaithfulness. I saw it was a different side to you. I no longer saw you as Joshua, the guy who always kept a straight face and never expressed emotions other than happiness and anger,” you explained, pausing to breathe. 

“I saw a guy who was hurt, vulnerable, sensitive, but a guy who was honestly just emotionally drained. That night, I guess, would be the pivotal moment of our friendship because I saw you not only being happy and cheery but also having a different and more sensitive side of yourself,” you smiled as the words tumbled. 

“Y/N, you’re going to make me cry if you continue,” Joshua mumbled, and you knew he wasn’t lying, especially with the way his voice was thick with emotion. You shrugged as you moved to sit down next to him. 

“Okay, turn, face me,” you slurred slightly, making Joshua laugh at you as he turned to face you. 

“How can I help you?” Joshua asked, and you grinned at him. 

“Well, now it’s Joshua appreciation time!” you yelled in his face, making him laugh as he slightly cringed at the volume of your voice before nodding, allowing you to speak. 

“Well, first, I’m jealous of you!” You exclaimed, making Joshua look at you funnily, “why?” Joshua asked, his voice small. 

“You make everything so effortless, good grades, good friends. I know you put effort into everything you do, but you make it look so easy. I’m jealous of that,” you admitted, making Joshua blush as he smiled at the ground. 

“Now, you remember how I said if I could use one word to describe you, it’d be perfect, well I still maintain that and let me break it down for you because I know you’re going to give me the bullshit that no one’s perfect, but listen up Hannah Montana, you are!” You declared, making Joshua laugh. 

“Look, you’re a fantastic friend. Wait for not a perfect friend. You are excellent at giving advice. You are also extremely trustworthy! If I’m ever questioning or hesitant about anything, I can always count on you to give me the correct answer!” You rambled, pausing to take a breath before continuing.

“Jokes apart, speaking presently, I know this month hasn’t been too kind on you! I won’t dwell on the girl who shall not be named. I know how she broke you into two. Still, I hope you know that you fucking deserve better than her. She lost a good thing, and that’s on her to regret for the rest of her life, not you. You’re going to meet the perfect girl because you’re the perfect guy,” you breathed out, smiling at Joshua, who was now smiling softly at you. 

“I know that sometimes you feel that it’s safer not to show your emotions, but as I said, you’re human. You’re entitled to feel and have every right to express them. I know you might find it much easier to ignore them and not deal with them, but sometimes, it’s not too bad to deal with them. All I want to say is that Joshua, if you ever need anything, a hug, a chocolate bar or a lame joke to cheer you up! Then I’m here! You’re one of my closest friends, and I never want to see you upset!” You exclaimed, pausing to take another breath. 

“I love you, Joshua, and before I sort of end this obnoxiously long confession, I want to say that I know you felt that sometimes you weren’t good enough. I want to remind you that you are! You’re good enough, better, and stronger than you give yourself credit for! Thank you for letting me be part of your life,” you exhaled, taking a breath before continuing. 

“So all that being said, I guess I’m trying to say something else too,” you mumbled suddenly, feeling your confidence drain out of your body, and Joshua nodded to you.

“What would that be?” Joshua asked, placing his hand on yours. You smiled at him as you decided to leap of faith and inch closer to him. 

“I…” you gulped before moving closer. You decided kissing him would be easier than telling him you were head over heels in love with him. 

You were about to place your lips on his when you heard her voice, 

“Shua, what did you want to talk to me about?” Nia called out, and you looked at Joshua with hurt and betrayal filling your chest. 

You got up and stumbled as you tried to move as far away as possible from him. 

You could bear your soul to him. You could tell him that you’d take a bullet for him, and you’d still never be enough for him. You’d never be the girl for him. You’d never be her. 

“Y/N, stop!” Joshua yelled out, and you shook your head at him. 

“No, nothing; I just wanted to tell you you were great. I need to, uh, go. You go get your girl,” you mumbled, your voice betraying you as it cracked, and you could feel hot tears start to run down your face. 

You tripped as you tried to run back to the dorms. You were never going to be the one for him. 

You weren’t her.

~~

You’d never be her. That’s all you knew as you cried yourself to sleep tonight, 

Joshua didn’t come to check in on you either that night, but you knew where he was. Balls deep in Nia, or so you could only guess from the moans you could hear across the halls. He was back with her.

You cried yourself to sleep that night, like most nights, but tonight, you’d stay away from him; he was not yours, and his heart would never be yours. 

You barely spoke to Joshua after that night of the final gala. You found out later that he had gotten back together with Nia that night, and so you decided that you’d forget it. Forget him, and heal. 

Divider: Five Years Later

Over the years, you thought you had healed, and you wouldn’t think about him every second, and you thought you were fine until your high school reunion. 

~~

“Joshua, you’re strong now,” you moaned as Joshua carried you into your hotel room. 

Frankly, you weren’t sure how you got here. You had shown up for a university reunion, and you and Joshua picked up from where you left off. It was as if nothing had ever changed. 

However, seven drinks in, Joshua started getting flirtier, and you reciprocated his every advance until you were in this exact position, his arms around your waist, waiting to fuck you. You hoped he wouldn’t pinch you at this moment because if it were a dream, you didn’t want to wake up. 

“You know what I want to do?” He whispered hotly in your ear, making you shiver in his embrace. “I’m going to finger you, lick you and fuck you till you’re trembling and begging to cum, and even then, I won’t let you cum. I’ll cum inside you and leave you tied to this bed. Your clit throbbing and you’ll be begging for me to let you cum, but I’ll leave you here filled with my cum.”

You whimpered at his words; your pussy ached for his touch. You nodded meekly at him. 

Joshua slowly undressed you. He hissed when he saw your swollen pussy lips. He moaned at the scent of your arousal and traced a finger from your clit to your entrance. Gathering the arousal he collected from that simple touch, he put his finger in his mouth and sucked and moaned in approval. 

“You taste so good for me, pretty girl.” 

He stood up and slid off his clothes, his tanned and toned body, his hard cock long and thick. He climbed back onto the bed and hovered over you. 

He placed his hands on your chest, massaging your breasts, making you moan. You didn’t wear a bra, so he felt your nipples harden and groaned in approval. 

He slid your top up, exposed your breasts, took one nipple in his mouth and began to suck gently. He then picked up his pace and started to bite and tug at your hardened nipples. 

You tried so hard to keep your mouth shut, but his mouth felt so good. You let out a soft moan. This didn’t go undetected by him. He slapped your now exposed clit. Your hips thrust up in response. 

His mouth left your chest, and he moved his mouth to your dripping cunt. He started kissing your inner thighs, darting his tongue out and licking every part of you except your aching cunt. 

You tried to move in an attempt to get his mouth onto your pussy. He slapped your clit again, except this time, he followed it up by inserting his long finger inside your pussy. You tried to suppress a moan, but it was too much, and you needed him to fuck you senseless. 

“Baby girl, I see that you just don’t want to listen,” he said as he inserted another digit. He curled his fingers upright against your g-spot and started moving his wrist up and down. “So make all the noise you want, but you cannot cum.” 

He continued his relentless pace and assault on your pussy. He leaned his head down and finally put his tongue on your clit, and you thought you were going to cum right then and there. 

His tongue flicked at your clit, before he enclosed his mouth on it, and you lost it. You couldn’t control it, and you came undone on his tongue and fingers. Joshua growled at your release but didn’t ease up on his movements and kept sucking at your now over-sensitive clit.

He removed his mouth from your pussy, but he didn’t ease up with his fingers. He added a third digit and fucked you until you squirted onto his hands. It wasn’t long before the overstimulation turned into pleasure, and you found yourself cumming on his tongue. 

You didn’t know how he could make you come undone so quickly and easily. You were shaking and trembling, tears of pleasure rolling down your face. 

You couldn’t even coherently mumble out a word or move. You felt so good, and your pussy was still throbbing, and yet you ached for more. 

Without letting you get more than a minute to recover, Joshua pushed his length inside you. He let out a growl and proceeded to fuck you, setting a relentless pace. He fucked you hard and fast, his thick cock hitting the right spots each time. He pulled out of you, and you moaned at the loss of contact.

He pushed himself into your dripping and aching pussy. At this point, he was just chasing his release. You finally used your arms to hold onto his broad shoulders as he fucked you into the sheets, your legs wrapped around his waist, allowing him to go deeper. 

He was close. You could tell by the way his thrusts got more uneven. To tease him further, you clenched your pussy around his cock. 

Oh, he was pissed. 

“Baby girl, is that hard for you to listen?” His hand went to your neck, gently choking you, and he continued fucking you. The breath play only made you reach your high again, and he wasn’t far off either.

He came inside your pussy and stayed still for a little bit. Then pulled out gently, not letting his cum spill out. He moved his body down yours until his mouth reached yours again and stuck his tongue into your cunt and lapped at it until you came again, and he cleaned his cum out from you. 

Swallowing, he moved up and pulled you into his arms, and you both lay on the bed. 

“How are you, baby? I hope it wasn’t too much for you.”

“Was so good.” You were still basking in the afterglow of your session. 

~~

You woke up later that night feeling rather hungry. 

Sex does that, you assumed. You noticed Joshua was awake and scrolling through his phone. 

“Hey, do you want to grab a bite or something? I’m starving,” you asked, and Joshua sighed, taking a sip of the water you left by the bedside. 

“This was a hookup, Y/N; please don’t read into it,” Joshua answered bluntly, and you stood up and walked to find his clothes and threw them at him. 

“It was a fucking question, Joshua!” you yelled. 

“I know not to hope with you anymore, but I can’t help if my heart doesn’t want to listen. But tonight, you showed me that you’re done, so I want you out,” you snarled, and Joshua nodded, getting dressed quickly and walking out of your door and crushing your heart again. 

~~

But that night was long gone, and so was he. 

~~

You noticed a heavily decorated envelope sitting on your desk later that evening. You must have collected the mail and not bothered sorting through it. You opened the envelope and held your breath when you saw an invite to Joshua’s wedding. 

Joshua weds Yuri the card read, and for once, you felt pain, but unlike the past, it felt dull. It didn’t feel like you were being stabbed in the heart. 

You RSVPed as soon as possible. You wanted to go. 

So, you did. You watched the ceremony, and the happy couple exchanged their vows, and you approached Joshua to talk outside after the reception. 

“I need to talk to you. I didn’t invite you to hurt you. I invited you because you’re a friend,” he started to say, and you nodded. 

“Then, as a friend, I need you to listen to me one last time,” you pleaded. 

Joshua nodded as he sat down on the bench outside the castle, his actions reminiscent of the time you confessed to him, but this time, it’d be different because you were different. Everything was different now. 

“Look, thank you for being so brave throughout the wedding. I know it couldn’t have been easy,” Joshua started to say.

You had to take a deep breath to not scoff at his words. Did he still think you were in love with him after all these years?

Truthfully, you will always love him. He was your first love. How could you ever forget him? How could you forget the nights when he’d pleasure you and look at you like you were the only one in the world? But more importantly, how could you forget the nights when he held you while you cried, wiped away every tear and kissed away every insecurity? How could you forget the boy who made you feel beautiful for the first time? 

But most importantly, how could you ever be the boy who kept breaking your heart repeatedly, and yet you kept forgiving him because you hoped that one day he’d wake up and realise that he loved you too? 

But it was too late for all of that. 

You were standing at his wedding, well outside the chapel, and you watched the entire night as Joshua exchanged his vows with someone who was not you. Your eyes moved to his left hand and zeroed in on the gold band that adorned his long finger, his ring finger. The finger that he’d always leave empty when he wore jewellery because he said he was saving it for someone special, and tonight, he finally found that someone special. 

You could never forget Joshua. But it had been ten years, and now you could look at him with a mixture of feelings, hurt, regret, and a multitude of negative emotions. But tonight, what consumed you wasn’t all bad. You also felt free. 

Tonight, Joshua gave his word to be with Yuri for the rest of his life and vowed never to leave her, and all while doing that, you felt the shackles of being bound to him loosening. 

“I was about to confess to you after graduation seven years ago. I wanted to tell you that I loved you. Not that I think I needed to, I was babbling away how perfect you were, but then she came, and I felt like no matter what I did, there would never be a right time to tell you I love you,” you sighed, smiling at him. 

“Over the years, I took it as a sign from the universe; maybe it protected me because the universe knew you’d never love me back, not how I did. After that hookup at the hotel, I said we should grab a bite. The first thing you said to me was that I shouldn’t mistake a hookup for feelings and that Joshua was when I realised that there would be no universe where you’d be mine,” you explained, making Joshua’s expression harden. 

“This is my wedding night; I do not need to hear you say something shitty to me on what is the happiest day of my life,” he started to say, raising his voice, and you sighed, sitting down next to him. 

“Let me finish,” you said, and Joshua pouted before nodding. “I’m not blaming you, Joshua. Yes, did we do stupid things that made me overthink and convince myself I had a chance, even if it was a glimmer of hope? Sure. But, all you ever were to me was a friend; you were my best friend, and you carried out your duties as a friend,” you explained, placing a hand on his, making him look at you. 

“I fell in love with you, Joshua, but that’s not on you. I fell for the tall, gangly boy I met when I was 18, putting you on a pedestal and myself on the back burner. But tonight… Watching you getting married and exchanging your vows didn’t hurt the way I expected it to. It felt liberating,” you continued, making Joshua sigh as he withdrew his hand from you. 

“We grew apart a lot, and it helped. It helped me think of you less, and over time, I guess I stopped being in love with you. And tonight, something clicked,” you said, turning to Joshua, who had an unreadable expression. 

“What was that?” Joshua asked. 

“I fell out of love with you, Joshua. I’ll always care for you, and hell, I’ll always love you, but Joshua, I’m no longer in love with you,” you admitted. 

It was true. 

Ten years ago, you tied an invisible string and pulled Joshua into your heart, where he stayed for ten years. He broke your heart so many times. Still, you kept him in there, holding onto hope. But tonight, when he said, “I do”, you felt that string lose its strength, inevitably weighed down and frayed over the last ten years, and tonight, it didn’t snap. It just—like your love—let go. 

You let go of Joshua, and in turn, you set yourself free. Free from the ‘what ifs’, the nights where you’d cry into your pillow, wishing you were in his arms at night, but you weren’t awake. You laid awake at night thinking of him for so many years, and you felt like you could finally let go tonight. 

“You will always have a special place in my heart, but how I loved you was dangerous and harmful. I put you above everyone and myself. I lost myself loving you, and I lost myself trying to be the girl you could love. But over the years and growing up, I realised that sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. And fuck, ten years ago, or even five years ago, that sentiment, the meant-to-be bullshit, would fuck me off, but tonight, I get it,” you explained, feeling tears of relief pool in your eyes. 

“I loved you deeply and immensely, but it didn’t work out, and that’s fine because I learned one thing, I’m capable of loving, and one day, I know I’ll get that love back, the kind of love I had for you, undying and unyielding,” you finished off looking at Joshua who smiled sadly at you. 

“When did you grow up so much?” Joshua chuckled, his voice thick with emotion. 

You smiled at him and shrugged.

“Time heals everything, Joshua. I want the best for you. I do. I want you to have the most amazing married life. Never break her heart. Never go to bed mad at each other. Always tell each other you love each other,” you babbled until you felt a tug on your hand, making you look at Joshua. 

“I couldn’t force myself to love you the way you loved me, and I won’t say I’m sorry for that, but I’m sorry for hurting you, seeking comfort in you for my selfish needs. You’re so special to me. You were my first friend in university; we have a history, and I want us to maintain that friendship. I want us to grow old as friends and laugh about this memory while we bitch about how annoying our spouses can be,” Joshua said, making you laugh. 

It was an honest laugh. It wasn’t forced. It was real. You were healing. 

“I’ll take you up on that, but tonight, I’m setting myself free, and you, Joshua, congratulations,” you said, standing up and holding out your arms for a hug. 

Joshua smiled softly at you as he pulled you into a hug, and you felt like your broken parts were being squished tightly together and being fixed, but you didn’t need to be fixed. 

You just needed to heal. 

~~

You kicked off your heels as you entered your apartment later that night, smiling. You didn’t feel broken or upset; you felt free.

Your eyes zeroed in on the notice board in your living room, where you had put up pictures of special people in your life. 

You looked at the one you had of Joshua. You took it one night, probably in your first year of university when you started falling in love with him. But it was just him. All the other photos you had with your friends were selfies of you and your friend. Only Joshua was solo, in a way; you kept it that way for so long because, for so long, you held on to the hope that he would one day love you back, and then you could stick a couple’s selfie there. 

You smiled at his photo. 

Taking a deep breath, you leaned forward, pulled his photo off your notice board, and replaced it with the Polaroid from the wedding. It was one the happy couple sent out to everyone. 

You smiled at the photo in your hand. Joshua would always be that story you could tell ten years later, but tonight, for the first time in a long while, you could sleep without agonising over the ‘what ifs.’ You locked away Joshua’s picture in a drawer where you knew you couldn’t find it even if you tried. 

You smiled again at the photo of him and Yuri as you turned around and got ready to sleep. For the first time in a long time, as you lay in bed that night, you didn’t punish yourself, thinking you weren’t enough, assuming you missed every moment. You went to bed knowing that you had a great love. It just wasn’t a perfect love story.

But it was okay.

And you would be, too.  

[ihaechans]

Teach Me || P.JS

PAIRING ▸ Jisung x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ established relationship, smut, fluff

WARNINGS/CONTENT ▸ profanity, masturbation (m), lovey-dovey jisung, praise kink, petnames, unprotected sex (don't), cream pie, Jisung properly fucking reader for the first time but none are virgins, dom~ish jisung, fingering (f), oral (f), cum eating, overstimulation / multiple orgasms, reader gives jisung instructions on how to fuck her and for some reason- it turns jisung on even more (he's a strange fellow)

SUMMARY ▸ It's been about ten months since you and Jisung started dating, and not once has he fucked you properly. Yes, he's fucked you multiple times, but you're always on top riding him, or simply using him as you please, leaving him no room to fuck you how he wants to. Finally, he musters the courage to talk to you about it, and the outcome makes him wish he'd done it sooner.

WORD COUNT▸ 2k

A/N: This is part of the "Crush on You" & "7 Days" Jisung "series". Any of the stories can be read separately, but for more context, you should read the first two "parts" to better understand the reader and Jisung's dynamic. Make sure to like or reblog if you love it! My requests are open so don't be shy!

There's a fine line between fucking and fucking.

Jisung always got to fuck you, but never got to fuck you.

Since the beginning of your relationship, there has been a clear dynamic between the two of you. Jisung was bottom, and you were top. That's how things are, how they have been for the past ten months.

Sometimes Jisung wonders how it would be if things were different, imagining his hips fucking into your wet pussy, eyes teary as he watches you fall apart on his cock. Mouth sucking in his length until it couldn't go any farther, abusing your throat as he used you for his own pleasure.

God, it made him rock hard just thinking about it.

"Fuck," he whimpers, hand shifting lightly over his hard cock as he settles down on the bed, kicking his shoes off in a hurry. He wants you below him, mouth agape, brows furrowed, uncontrollable moans slipping past your lips as fucks into you deep.

He shouldn't do this knowing you're just a room over typing away on your computer, probably on an important work meeting or something like that, but he couldn't help it. He felt like an incaged animal, struggling to break free.

The only thing that could satisfy him was getting what he wanted.

Jisung teases the head of his cock, biting back a whimper at the sensitive feeling. His breathing is heavy as he grips his cock, hips automatically pistoning up to fuck into his fist, imagining how much better it would feel if he was fucking into you.

He imagines your sweet cries and moans, dick twitching as he thinks about you. Nobody has ever gotten him so worked up, it's almost as if you've casted a spell on him.

Jisung lets out a husky moan, fucking up into his fist frantically as he nears his climax. "Fuck," he moans, hips stilling as he releases into his hand, his free hand covering his mouth as he tries to hold back a loud whine.

Pathetic. He thinks to himself, completely ashamed he didn’t have the courage to tell you how he felt.

“Jisung baby, you in here?” A light knock emits from the wooden door and Jisung freezes like a deer in headlights, jumping across the room towards the bathroom as you slowly creak open the bedroom door.

Jisung sighs as he safety makes it to the bathroom, able to shut the door behind him softly before you notice. This was all so stupid.

He was stupid.

Turning on the sink, Jisung washes his cum off of his hand, shaking his head pitifully with a sigh as he does so.

The sudden opening of the bathroom door makes him jump with horror, wet hand covering his heart as he slumps over the sink, relived that it was only you.

“Baby im done with work,” you smile, opening your arms wide, in indication that you wanted to cuddle with your boyfriend.

He can’t help but smile back, a slight blush forming on his cheeks as he gives in to your warm embrace, head resting in the crook of your neck.

“Can we lay down?” Jisung speaks up for the first time today, following you as you flop down onto your shared bed without a word, waiting for Jisung to follow.

You looked so pretty laying there, eyes staring up at him innocently.

Stop being a pervert, he thinks to himself, flopping down beside you before wrapping his arms around your body

A hand runs through his hair as he breathes softly against your skin, the silence nearly deafening between the two of you.

“Jisung,” finally, you break the silence, “I know you were jerking off in here a couple minutes ago.”

You speak as if it’s not the most embarrassing thing in the world. Jisung’s eyes grow wide, mouth parting to speak but unable to as his face goes red. “How… how’d you…”

Shushing him with a finger, you cut him off. “Well you're pretty loud," you giggle, "Jisung what were you thinking about when you were jerking off? Me?” You straddle him in an instant, his hands grasping your hips with a whine.

Were you really going to make him admit to it? This was the most embarrassing moment of Jisung’s life.

Pushing your hips forward, Jisung moans out as you grind against him, “Answer me Jisung. Tell me what you were thinking about.”

“I-It was you…” Pink cheeks nearly go red as he admits it out loud, not able to look at you as he speaks.

You giggle, slightly shifting your hips against him again, “Naughty baby,” Jisung hums in agreement, nearly slipping into sub space before he even realizes it. “Now tell me what exactly was going on inside that head of yours.”

At this, he snaps out of his daze, eyes that once avoided you now looking straight back into yours. “Can I…” just say it Jisung, he thinks to himself, taking a deep breath before spluttering out a barely audible “Can I show you?”

He prays you don’t ask him to repeat himself, eyes closing in shame.

“Alright. Show me then.”

Not a thought goes through your mind as Jisung quickly flips the two of you over, his slender body now hovering over you. You admit, seeing Jisung on top of you was hot as fuck.

“I’m gonna show you now… is that okay?”

Even in times like this, Jisung still managed to be a complete cutie. “Of course baby, go ahead.”

Carefully, he kisses along your collarbones, hands pushing up the hem of your shirt up to your chest, exposing your bra.

“Take this off for me,” he mumbles, clearly talking about your bra. Already, Jisung was showing a different side of himself. He never asked you to take off your own clothes, doing it for you without you even having to ask.

He stops, head snapping up from where he was marking your collarbones to stare into your eyes. “I said to take it off, didn’t I?” His gaze is lustful and dark, an unreadable expression etched onto his face.

He never talks to you like this.

Raising an eyebrow, you sit up slightly, unclasping your bra as your breasts fall free in from of your boyfriend, his mouth immediately latching onto one of your nipples.

A surprised moan leaves your lips as he swirls his tongue around your sensitive bud, one of his hands dipping into the waistband of your shorts, rubbing along your panties.

“Shit,” you breathe out, gasping when he plays with your clit through the fabric. “Jisung…”

“Shhh… don’t talk. Good girls stay quiet.” His pupils were incredibly blown, cock rock hard in between his legs once again as he imagines the things that are about to take place.

He can tell you’re surprised, body still not fully comfortable with the idea of being a bottom. “Relax, I’ll treat you like a princess.”

He never calls you princess.

Your mouth opens to speak, but immediately shuts as one of his slender fingers forces it’s way inside of you, an embarrassing mix of a squeal and a moan slipping out. Jisung chuckles against your chest as you moan for him, inserting a second finger into the mix.

What’s gotten into him?

“I’m tired of holding back… I’ve wanted you like this for so long,” he admits, fucking his fingers into you faster as he stares directly into your half lidded eyes. “God the thought of having you like this turns me on so much, I couldn’t hold back any longer…” he rambles, seeming to get off on the sound of your moans.

“I’m close, please keep going,” Jisung pries your thighs open with his free hand as they start to tremble due to your impending orgasm.

Finally, your eyes shut tight with pleasure, brows furrowing as you tuck your lip between your teeth. “Don’t stop, please don’t stop-“ you repeat the words like a mantra until you hit your climax, back arching off the bed and legs threatening to close around your boyfriends hand.

“So good for me, I love seeing you under me like this.” Without giving you time to breathe, Jisung is quickly moving away from your breasts and down to your now sensitive pussy, quickly rolling your shorts off of your body to kitten lick your entrance, burying his face in your cunt as he slurps up all your cum.

Uncontrollable sounds spill from your mouth, motivating Jisung to continue his ministrations, only stopping when you harshly push his head away, a tired moan making its way out of you.

“Can I fuck you now? Please?” Doe eyes stare at you from in between your legs, your boyfriends hair slightly ruffled and out of place.

How could you ever say no?

A quick yes is all he needs to hear before disregarding his shirt and pants, including his boxers. Jisung is completely naked in front of you, he does a once over of your naked body below him, brain now realizing he’s never actually fucked you for real before.

It’s almost as if you can read his mind, your boyfriend slightly relaxing as you lace your fingers with his, holding his hand to comfort him.

“Don’t think too much baby, just put it in and I’ll help you from there.” Your voice is music to his ears, instantly sweeping away all his concerns. Following your instructions, he slowly pushes himself inside of you, groaning in unison with you.

“So good already,” you moan out, “Now just move your hips, I know you can do it.” You egg him on, Jisung’s jaw almost going slack as you fully take him in. He would never get used to how warm and wet you were, a low moan filling the air as he pulls back only to thrust back in, his moans picking up in frequency as he went on.

The pace was deep and slow, his cock hitting just the right place inside of you to make you go crazy. “Faster, faster right there-“ the sound of you urging him is what kept him motivated to make you cum.

He knew he wasn’t the best, but as long as he could make you cum on his cock, he would be happy tonight.

Jisung’s hips pick up pace, the sounds of skin slapping against each other now flowing through the air. You felt euphoric wrapped around him, Jisung nearly cumming just from a few quick thrusts.

The two of you moan in unison, the sounds only getting louder as you both near your orgasm. “You’re fucking me so good, just like that, right there-“ your sentence ends with a yelp as Jisung fucks you even harder, dick hitting your gspot over and over with each thrust.

“I’m gonna cum,” Jisung’s husky moans ring out as he releases inside of you, moans growing louder as you release with him, your pussy clenching around him impossibly tight.

Finally, he stills his hips, fast pants making his chest heave up and down as he collapses against you, face buried in your chest.

“Jisung… baby,” you breathe out, running your fingers through your boyfriends hair softly. “You did so good for your first time fucking me like that.”

He smiles against your chest, humming to acknowledge your statement. Sleep was already taking over his body, eyes struggling to stay open as you comb your fingers through his hair.

“Ji… pull out we need to get cleaned up.”

“Don’ wanna,” he groans, wrapping his arms around you to trap you in. “Hold me.”

“You’re so gross,” you smile, earning a small chuckle from the half-asleep man on top of you.

“Shhh no more talking,”

That’s the last thing you hear before falling asleep in his arms, your boyfriend whispering a sweet “I love you” before letting sleep take over his body as well.

[wh1msic4lwasab1]

“𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐌𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡”♡‧₊˚

synopsis: first time giving head and the general is generous to offer you some help <3

tags: oral, first time, soft and praise filled

wrd cnt: 650+

a/n: rewrite/repost from first acc!

Imagine spending the day with Jing Yuan on his time off, what little hours he had, your general chose to spend with you.

You'll relive memories over drinks, laugh over embarrassing stories, and maybe you'll even uncover some secrets about him, intimate secrets only for you.

You open up to him, about whatever the evening spills; some innocent, and some not.

After some long due blabbering and breaking of the tension, you're in his bedroom and your tongue is being pushed against his in a fiery battle neither of you want to lose.

You told Jing Yuan all about your inexperience, but you told him even more about how much you wanted him, how much you’ve wanted him so for long.

You glance at the tent in his pants growing in between the slow and sensual make out going on between you two, and your hand finds its way under his clothes. He smirks against your lips.

"Y/n, I thought you told me you haven't done this before?" he recalls.

"You're right, but I want you in my mouth more."

You feel his cock pulse because of your words, slowly you kneel down; you fold up his shirt and kiss along his abs, trailing down to his thighs and leaving a small bite mark, now sitting in between his marked up thighs.

You removed his clothes and watch his hard cock spring up from his pants.

Just seeing it makes you want to swallow everything he gives you.

All of your worries melt as his hand caresses your head, as he helps you push your hair back.

"Open your mouth princess."

You do as your general commands, and he presses his thumb down onto your tongue, toying with it while never breaking his eye contact with you. You suck lightly on his thumb before he removes it, and slaps his fat cocktip on your tongue.

He gives you a small nod and you start with kitten licks, paying most attention to his throbbing head. You suck the precum that's already oozing out, and earn a groan from him in the process.

“Just like that-mhm…”

Your soft lips envelope his member, and his leg twitches due to the pleasure you grant him.

"Fuck…..what a naughty thing you are", he says in surprise.

His hand is now wrapped into your hair, and he's tilting you down, you'd be lying if you said that you didn't want him to fuck your face so hard, until all you could do was let the tears run off your face, but he's sweet with you.

"Let me help you love, do you feel me in your throat?"

You definitely could, which he understood from your lack of reply.

His cock felt even bigger in your mouth than in your hand, and you could feel yourself start to gag on his dick with how thick it was. You wanted him to cum down your throat, ruin you so bad, you didn't care anymore.

You start to bob your head weakly on his girth, moving along with his pace while gently twisting your hand around the base of his cock, you wince slightly.

"You can't take it baby? You're gonna have to." He says, as he speeds up his pace, ramming his cock into your throat with his hand laced behind your head.

He watches you struggle to take him and sees you rubbing your sore little pussy with your other hand, you were getting off to his dominance, from his cock in your mouth, aching him filling up your cunt.

Seeing you pleasure yourself from sucking him off drove Jing Yuan to the edge, soon you felt his cock grow hot, followed by thick loads of his cum coating your mouth.

"Swallow it all, not one drop comes out of your mouth or I'll fuck it back in, got it?

"Yes General", you say, kissing his tip and gaining a deep groan of satisfaction. words

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

[perlelune]

no body, no crime | Coriolanus Snow | xii. {END}

Your childhood friend returns from his exile in district 12, but he's not the sweet, quiet boy you once knew anymore.

Warnings: NON-CON, Plinth!Reader, Gaslighting, Drugging, Murder, Forced Marriage, Forced Pregnancy, Loss of Virginity, Somnophilia

This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

Your nerves stir as William considers you in silence. It’s all he’s done for the last few agonizing minutes, stare at you without uttering a single word. Perhaps you’ve shared too much? Overestimated how much he could take? You’ve told him everything, not skipping over any detail as he asked. How Coriolanus lured you into his web. Weaved a myriad of honeyed lies you naively fell for. Coaxed you into staying with him. Planted a seed that will soon grow into a permanent reminder of all he did to you. 

The whole, plain horrible truth.

Much as it ached to tell the story, and relive it in a way, you were thorough and concise. Your voice may have wavered a little, your eyes evaded William’s at times, but now he has the full story. 

And he’s free to do as he pleases with that knowledge.

“William?” you inquire again. 

This time he swallows a deep breath. Fearful expectancy knots your gut. He clenches his fists and bolts to his feet. 

“I’m going to kill him.”

You wedge yourself between him and the door as he takes long, determined strides toward the exit.

“Wait!” you urge, panic trembling through your voice.

William scoff, a frown marring his brow.

“What? You want to protect him? After everything he’s done to you?”

Your lips tighten. A surge of tears fights its way past your lids but you suppress them. Too much is at stake for you to crumble right now. You straighten your spine and lift your chin.

“It’s not that. Of course I don’t care what happens to him but…” You place your hands on his forearms. He seems to relax at your touch and a sliver of relief leaks inside your chest. Perhaps there is still hope for you and William. “He’s dangerous, William. Cunning, slippery. Like a snake.”

His jaw clenches. “We’ll see about that when I have my fist in his throat.”

He tries to move forward but you keep firmly blocking his path. Once again, you try to reason with him. “No, he really is…deranged.” No other word arises in your mind. You shudder as you recall the glint of madness in his blue eyes. “He has my parents under his spell. I really don’t think he’ll stop at anything to get his way.” Your mouth quivers. “He’ll hurt you.”

“Let him try,” William grumbles, clenching his fists. 

Rage oozes off him, coating the air. You feel its intensity in your very bones. When he said he wanted to kill Coriolanus, it wasn’t a metaphor. It’s how furious your fiancé is after hearing your story.

“William, no…For me. Let it go.” You grab his hands, bringing them to your face. They slowly loosen, his gaze softening as it rests on you. “Let’s just leave. I know I’m asking for a lot. Asking you to raise another man’s child-”

He cradles your face. “It doesn’t matter. It’ll be our child. They won’t even have to know his name.” 

You drape your hands over his, emotion making your voice waver.

“You really mean that?”

His thumbs sweep over your cheek.

“Of course. I made a promise to you.” He smiles. “And I never stopped loving you.”

You suck in a sharp breath. “Even after everything?”

A glimpse of sadness crosses his features.

“It hurt. Of course, it hurt. But there’s no other girl than you for me, and there never will be.” Overwhelmed, you stare at him a long time, basking in his bottomless devotion. How did you end up so lucky? Even after all the misfortune you suffered, amidst your woe, you still found William. A love as rare and pure as a pearl lost in the ocean.

You get on your tiptoes to press your lips over his. At first, it’s tentative. You’re wondering if perhaps it’s too soon, if he’s truly forgiven you. But your doubts evaporate as he eagerly returns the kiss. Your heart swells. He cups your cheeks and you melt against him, soaking his scent and the familiar taste of his skin. You could cry. You missed him so much. For the first time in weeks, air finds a home in your lungs again.

When your lips part, he leans his forehead against yours. For a while, you just revel in each other’s presence, warm breaths mingling in the cool air.

“So what’s the plan?” he asks, his knuckles skimming down your neck. “You…do have a plan, right?”

Taking a deep breath, you stand up straight.

“I’m thinking we hitch a late night train to District 2. There’s a weapons shipment tonight.” You grimace. “My dad, h-he sends them to the Peacekeepers garrisons there.” Every time you remember the part your father plays in keeping people in the Districts cowered and afraid of the Capitol’s wrath, you feel sick. This is who the man who raised you has become. Someone who turns a blind eye to his own people’s suffering. It makes you wonder if maybe he and Coriolanus are cut from the same cloth after all. Both of them opportunists. Both of them eager to step over everything and everyone to further their goals. Your father gives the Capitol the ammunition it needs to terrorize. And Coriolanus fuels them with ideas to keep that terror alive.

“We could head South, start a new life there,” William suggests.

You blink in surprise. This is a drastic decision, one you never expected to hear leave his lips.

“You mean, leave Panem?”

“Why not? There is nothing for us here. I don’t think there ever was.”

“You’d be leaving your family and friends behind William. A-Are you sure?”

He sends you a warm smile, rubbing your arms.

“You’re my family. You’re all I need.”

Your heart flutters, a fresh breeze of hope passing through you. 

“William…”

“This is my choice. I’m choosing you,” he interrupts, his inflection firmer than before. “In sickness and in health, until death do us part, right?”

You search his eyes and are shocked to realize William means this. He wants to elope with you, follow you into uncertainty and escape the Capitol’s vicious rule.

“I’m sorry…about everything.”

His tender lips graze your forehead.

“There is nothing to forgive. None of this was your fault.”

His soothing words cast a balm over your wounded heart. You spent so long blaming yourself, tortured by your own thoughts and lamenting every choice you made. It’s refreshing to hear that maybe, not all the responsibility falls upon your shoulders.

You wipe the budding tears in your eyes.

“We have to be quick,” you say, your voice more confident than before. “Coriolanus, he…we need to be long gone before he notices I left.”

William squeezes your shoulder.

“You don’t have to be scared of him anymore. I won’t let him get anywhere near you. If he wants to breathe the same air as you, he’ll have to do it over my dead body.”

He wraps his arms around you and, for the first time in several weeks, you feel safe.

You help William pack his most essential belongings before the two of you sneak into the night. Despite what he said, you don’t miss the brief way his green eyes mist as he shoves a picture of his parents and little sister into a leather bag. Guilt floods your insides. You’re the one in trouble, not him. Several times, you grapple with the urge to tell him to stay, that you can do this on your own. But there is no going back now. It’s too late. Besides, a selfish part of you doesn’t want to. It’s scary enough, leaving everything behind. The Capitol. Your childhood home. Your parents. Having William at your side is the only way you won’t fall apart out here. You don’t see yourself surviving beyond the borders without him. As much as you complained about your life here, you’re aware of how sheltered you’ve been. You always had food on the table. You were never cold. You always had a warm bed to sleep in.

Now, those things will not be guaranteed. 

You and William try to act natural around every peacekeeper you brush past, pretending you’re just two lovers meeting for a late night tryst. Still, your heart leaps each time you get a glimpse of the blue uniforms. You haven’t forgotten the time Coriolanus spent in district 12, paranoia prowling the edge of your mind. It’s not like he has any affiliation with them now, does he?

Sensing your unease, William squeezes your hand in reassurance. You smile at him.

Still, you don’t relax until the two of you have hailed a cab and are on your way to the train station on the outskirts of the city. 

Even when the two of you successfully make it onto the back of a cargo train unnoticed, you’re still on alert. Even the whistle of the train as it rumbles to life and leaves the station doesn’t grant you peace. William wraps his arm around your shoulders. The two of you are sitting on the floor behind a gigantic crate of machine guns.

He drops a kiss atop your head.

“Hey, everything will be fine. I promise. Nothing will happen to you.”

You tuck yourself against him. You wish you could let go of your fear but dread’s had you in its clutches since you left the station. Would Coriolanus’ plans for you be thwarted so easily? You find it hard to believe, remembering his unflinching desire to make you fall in line.

Still, you give a weak smile.

“You’re right. I’m being silly.”

As soon as you utter the words however, the train hisses and makes an abrupt stop on the tracks.

William frowns.

“What’s happening? I’ll go ch-”

Before your fiancé can finish his sentence, the doors of the wagon open. A gust of frosty wind whisks inside the train. William’s eyes widen but there’s no time to process his shock as he’s kicked in the gut by a peacekeeper.

Another man appears and the two of them yank him out of the train. 

“William!” you shout, jumping out of the wagon. 

Your fiancé coughs out blood as he’s dragged away by the two blue-clad men. He tries to fight them but they kick him in the jaw. He crashes into the grass. 

Your chest seizes. You begin racing towards him. However as the two men shift, revealing someone else behind them, someone whose haunting blue stare is forever engraved into your memories, you freeze. 

He scrutinizes you before shaking his head.

“You disappoint me, princess,” Coriolanus sighs, folding his arms. “I thought you were finally coming to your senses.”

The two men force William on his knees, one of them pointing his gun at his head to keep him docile. Your eyes water. Helplessness tugs at your chest. He took no time to find you. Did you ever stand a chance?

“Coriolanus, just let us go. This is…all of this is going too far,” you plead. 

He arches his brow, disdain lacing his tone as he says, “You really think I’d let my child grow up in a district?”

“You bastard,” William spits, hate flaring in his green eyes. 

Malice sways in Coriolanus’ orbs as he takes in your fiancé. His taunting voice echoes through the field.

“Oh, does it sting, knowing I’ve had her before you in every possible way?”

He tries to lunge himself at the blond. Your breath catches as you watch the peacekeepers beat him into submission. He keels over in the grass, coughing up more blood.

Coriolanus turns to you.

“I’m going to give you a choice, princess. Come back home to the Capitol with me, willingly. I’ll forgive you, set the entire matter aside and we can focus on our guest list, cake tasting and finding you the perfect dress for our wedding.” He tilts his head, his smile vanishing. “Or don’t. And I really can’t say what I’ll do next.” He chuckles darkly. “I just know you won’t like it.”

You look at him, disbelief and sadness surging through you. You wonder where your friend disappeared to, the one who dried your tears and whispered soft words of reassurance whenever your mood dipped, the one who showered you with gifts and attentions. The one who was kind. 

Who is this stranger standing before you?

Coriolanus laughs. 

“You know Sejanus looked at me the exact same way…like he expected me to be someone I’m not, someone I never was.” His eyes lock with yours. “Right to the bitter end.”

Your stomach sinks, an awful realization digging its way through your mind. You don’t know how you know. Perhaps it’s that smug smile on his lips. Perhaps that glow in his eyes. Or that subtle inflection to his words. Either way, you just know.

You know what Coriolanus did and your entire world falls apart.

Sejanus too never stood a chance, you bet.

You nod. “I’ll come with you.”

A subtle smile blooms on Coriolanus’ lips.

“What?” William stares at the interaction in shock.

Coriolanus offers you his hand as you approach.

“It’s over, William,” you mumble, too ashamed to meet his gaze. You focus on taking Coriolanus’ hand instead. His touch is deceptively soft. “Just go back home, forget about this. Forget about me.”

Your spirits sink lower and lower with every word that leaves your mouth. You are willingly walking to your grave.

William shakes his head.

“No way…”

Everything that follows happens in a blur. So quickly you barely register what’s going on. First, William throws himself at the blond. You gasp as you watch them wrestle, Coriolanus having a clear advantage. Next, one of the peacekeepers hands him a gun. 

He points it at his temple.

Ribbons of blood fly from William’s skull, painting Coriolanus’ shirt crimson.

Time stops for you as your eyes grow wide with horror.

The blond dusts himself off, shoving William’s limp frame off him as he rises.

He sighs at his stained shirt.

“This was brand new,” he laments.

You rush to William and fall to your knees near his unmoving body. It takes all your strength to even shift him a little. 

“William? William, please?” you whimper. His lifeless green eyes rise to the moon in the sky, his soft mouth parted in a scream that never will be. 

Your heart shatters into a million pieces, the shards piercing through your being and trailing scars in their wake. It will never stitch itself back together.

In the background, Coriolanus orders one of the peacekeepers.

“Get rid of the bodies. Make sure nothing is left. And I’ll put in a good word for your sister at the Citadel,” he promises.

The other peacekeeper pipes up, “The bodies? But there’s only one-”

A gunshot erupts. A few feet away, you watch one of the peacekeepers, the one who spoke up, crash into the ground. The other one shot him. Smoke still rises from his gun as Coriolanus nods at the man in approval.

“Like we agreed, I’ll also write to Commander Hoff on your behalf. You’ll start officer training next month.”

More words are exchanged between the two men but they fade amidst the buzz rising inside your head. You lie atop William’s corpse, numb as you faintly hope to find a heartbeat.

After a while, you’re hauled off your feet by a pair of strong arms. You struggle but it’s for naught. You’re taken away, William’s unmoving form dwindling in your vision.

“No, I can’t leave him…”

Coriolanus carries you bridal style to a vehicle. He places you in the passenger seat and ties your seatbelt. 

“Shh, it’s okay, princess,” he coos. “You need to calm down. This isn’t good for you and the baby.”

The baby. You have to admit that for a second, you considered trying to pry the gun out of Coriolanus’ hands and shooting it into your own head. End it all once and for all. Your life has already ended. So what difference would it make? But then you remembered. Your life isn’t just yours anymore. 

You look at the blond through tearful eyes, your hoarse voice swelling in the car. 

“Did you get my brother killed?”

Coriolanus puts on his own seatbelt and turns the key in the ignition. “What an awful assumption to make, princess.”

He grips the steering wheel as the engine roars to life. 

“However, it might be a good time to remember…that your father’s written me into his will.” Your breath stumbles. “Which means, though I prefer him alive to walk my beautiful bride down the aisle…” His blue eyes glimmer, his lips curving upward. “I also don’t need him to be.”

He shakes his head and sighs, running his fingers atop your thigh.

“Who knows how long he still has, with those heart issues of his. Anything could happen.”

“One day you will pay. For all of them,” you grit out, the sheer hate you feel for him overflowing in your tone. 

He fondles your cheek, his smile growing. 

“Perhaps… But not today.” He pauses, as if he just remembered something. He reaches inside the pocket of his coat. 

“Here,” he says as he pulls out a small velvet box.

You witness in horror as Coriolanus removes William’s ring from your finger and slips another one in its place. It’s ostentatious, the red rubies shimmering like blood in the darkness.

Once it’s on your finger, he admires it. He brings your hand to his lips, brushing a soft kiss over your knuckles. 

“Fits perfectly, just like I know it would,” he chimes. 

[slayagami]

𐙚 synopsis: after losing consciousness in a villain attack, you wake up 2 and a half years later in the hospital. the time doesn't feel long to you, so adjusting to the new updates takes you by surprise. like your boyfriend of 2 years, izuku midoriya, apologizing that he found love elsewhere, in your best friend ochaco uraraka. you find refuge and comfort in your old friend todoroki, who visited you everyday you were out. does new love blossom or do you fight for midoriya back?

𐙚 pairing: midoriya x afab!reader x todoroki

𐙚 warnings:: mild violence, cursing, cheating?, love triangle-ish, angst to fluff, slow burn, friends to lovers, depression, nonchalant reader but over thinker, reader struggles expressing emotions, characters are 22

𐙚 readers quirk: poison arrow. can appear a bow and produce arrows that are ingested with poison that can temporarily paralyze or slow down the movement of who was shot. effects lasts roughly 20 minutes but depending on the victim, possible to move but will be slowed down. quirk allows the reader to have sharp sight, and can see farther and more clearer than most. reader has to train to shoot arrows more accurately. strength of poison depends on readers emotions. hero name: artemis.

𐙚 a/n: slow writer </3 SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT im such a slow and unmotivated writer but thanks for being patient and im sorry if this sucks or is short! also went ahead and added to the tags, included people who were interested in the second part! 3.03k words! [previous] [next]

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° m.list ! ┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° mha m.list ! ┊ love again

you left the hospital in daze, bitterly rethinking of the harsh words from midoriya, reliving the uncharacteristic look in ochaco’s eyes. the thing that bugged you the most is the raw emotion in his viridescent irises, the way his eyes told you so much but was trapped. like he was under control. and it pained you, because you knew he wouldn’t be with ochaco if he didnt love her. he must be confused. you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but every time you tried reasoning with yourself you became pressed and bothered, eyebrows bunching together in discomfort. it was his choice to leave, his choice to move on, his choice not to wait. that underlying fact should’ve been enough for you to ration, but your heart weighed over your reasonability.

you walked aimlessly, taking in the change of scenery. it was winter now, or at least the cusp, as trees bare nakedly from the ground, the wind blowing coldly across the tip of your nose. it grew a hue of pink as well as your ears, and you silently cursed the hospital for allowing you to walk off without warmer clothes — or even a blanket. you took in the newer buildings that were placed around, or the updated shops that took over some hole-in-wall restaurants. it felt so familiar to you, holding a sense of nostalgia, even if it wasn’t all that long ago.

your feet carried you a long way, sniffling ever so slightly as the run of your nose. you glanced up at the penthouse in front of you, neck craning to eye up the several stories it compiled. you heart pinged, migraine oncoming. this place felt familiar, and it was almost at the tip of your tongue, but i felt like your body knew where to take you. knew where you’d find comfort. knew where you’d feel safe. grudgingly you stepped forward into the building, hair blowing in several directions at the different air pressures. only then did the penthouse look familiar, the lobby remaining the same as it did years ago when todoroki first moved in, asking you for help with some boxes and casual hang outs. you dragged your feet to the lobby, allowing your body and faint memory to recollect the door your friend lived behind. a funny number to you, something so easily remembered. 808. eighth floor, eighth room. you remember always commenting how the numbers looked like a silly face, a face that could be used as an emoticon during texting.

you tried your best not to stand out, sinking your head lower and sliding your hands in your pockets, slipping into an elevator, though thankfully it was empty. the numbers glowed softly, changing as it passed each floor with a soft ‘ding’. you rocked on the balls of your heels, roughed up black and white converse your parents had left you fit snugly with a double knotted tie. your eyes watched the numbers, slowly growing anxious. you haven’t seen todoroki in — for him — two and a half years. the last time you remember seeing him before the hospital was moving into this penthouse, carrying boxes with yaoyaorozu. oh yeah, you remembered, nodding to yourself, he was dating yaoyaorozu last time i was here. the elevator dinged softly, the speaker muffling a short announcement as the doors shifted open. your feet stepped onto the hardwood floor, turning a hard right and letting your feet carry you to his room, large ceilings aligned with marvelous paintings and chandeliers. you remember gawking at it when you first visited his place too, hopelessly praying you were able to achieve a living space like this too.

you didn’t even know if he was home or not. if he had work, or was on an errand run. you didnt think about much, just knowing you wanted the comfort of your friend, wanting to let him know you were awake finally with your own words. a gentle knock hit the wooden door, eyes glancing down to the doormat with a faded ‘welcome’ message on it, some stains of red pressed on the corners. it was quiet, no noise or rustle, no television or mumbling. maybe he wasnt home. your teeth nibbled at the bottom plump of your lips, the nervous feeling growing increasingly worse. maybe i should leave? you sighed and spun around, lowering your head as you walked off, hands back into your pockets. you made it about halfway down the hallway before the soft sound of the door unlocking filled the air, the gentle pull from the door with a quiet squeak. you froze, not knowing if you should turn around or keep going. but the familiar voice rang in your ears so softly, and you knew exactly why your body aimless took you here in the first place.

“excuse me? what that you knocking?” you can gear the tired croak in his voice fighting back a yawn, “did you need anything?” your body turned slowly, feet picking up as you walked towards him excitedly, that nervous feeling from earlier gone. his eyes met yours, the bi-colored orbs widening with shock, lips parting ever so slightly. for him, time had completely stopped. in fact, todoroki could’ve sworn he was still asleep, replaying a dream he had often of being able to see you again. seeing the radiance that covered your face, the way your arms were outstretched in a hug. but it felt so real he swore if he woke up, the whole world might as well burn.

your body collides with his, pushing him back a few steps before his head catches rest on top of your shoulder, perfectly fit in the crane of your neck. his arms held you tightly at the waist, your own arms circling around his shoulders and neck, sniffles and pants reaching his ears. he was shocked, obviously, but stayed in the hug, not daring to move an inch. the familiar hospital spent fills his nostrils with a weird ease, his hands softly rubbing the small of your back as you sobbed. he knew now this wasn’t a dream, far too real to be. and as happy and relieved he is to see you, he cant help the worried pain he feels as the shirt on his shoulder grows more and more wet, your chest heavily heaving as you hugged him and sobbed.

after giving you the time to recuperate, he invited you inside his home, bending down softly to help you unlace your worn out converse, a hand holding leverage on your shin as the other tugged gently at the shoe. you stood there, surprisingly unfazed, using your forearm to wipe any tears from your eyes while your flushed nose sniffled here and there. with your pearly white socks now stepping onto the soft carpet of his home, a cold hand tugs your wrist to lead you to his grey couch, expectant eyes finding your face.

he had so many questions to ask, so many things that filled his brain on what to say and what he wanted you to know, but he just stared. he let you take your time. let you breathe. the sincerity of his entirety made your eyes water once more, chest puffing out whiney sobs while you laid ur head on his shoulder, a hand holding onto his forearm. it was such a domestic hold, so natural between the two. though your cries were too important for him to worry about anything else at the moment.

you gulped inaudibly, taking a small breath. you began to slowly tell him everything. the moment you woke up, seeing your parents show physical signs of aging, midoriya rushing in, the stupid look in his green eyes, uraraka expecting you to give her your blessing, and finally not even being able to remember the fight you were involved with in the first place. time did not feel long to you, which is why its even harder to understand how much things have changed.

the entirety of the situation felt completely unfair.

shoto hummed softly, letting you talk it out to him. he felt the grip on his arm grow strong as the topic of your now-ex-boyfriend came up, his own feelings getting twisted inside his heart. seeing you cry over someone like him making a stupid decision, he wished to comfort you in a domestic manner yet refrained.

"i need to tell my supervisor i need a break. and to switch me to a different agency. there's no way i can still work with izuku after this." another hum, his back sinking into the couch. "do you have any ideas where you want to go? or how long you plan to take your break for?"

you sighed, the thought of it all already giving you a headache. your yawn filled the small silence, before responding. "agency? no clue. someone who wants me to become the best version of myself and not only wanting me to make their company look better." another yawn, your eyes growing heavy. "i need to consult with my doctor since i can't strain myself for a while anyways. gotta see what she recommends me, first."

todoroki nodded in understanding, noticing the change in demeanor. his blue blanket was folded on the arm rest of the couch, inching away from you slowly to not disturb you. he reached out for the blanket and slowly laid it over to your body. he muttered softly, telling you to lay down and that you should rest before you decide to go home.

"today was tough, so take a quick nap to replenish your energy. don't worry, I'll still be here when you wake up."

warmth enveloped you on a soft cushion, a light weight draped over your body making it unbearably hard to wake up. but with a groan straining out your throat and scrunch of your face, your eyes peered open slowly to look at the familiar apartment. the room smelled of some kind of soup, the broth being enough to make your mouth water. you glanced down at the suspect of the newly added weight to your body, a red blanket on top of your figure. it was weighted, along with a fluffy white cat balled up at your feet. in the kitchen, was todoroki. you can hear the clash of metals as she shuffled through various pots, placing them as quietly as he could on the stove, yet the smallest noise still ringing through the apartment. it felt homey. and it made you feel guilty. todoroki was important to you, but so was izuku. spending the night here, feeling and finding comfort in him, waiting patiently as he cooked you some dinner, it all felt wrong. you still felt the unbearable tie between your ex, and even though your brain finally understood that things were different, and that time has changed, your heart reminds you otherwise.

your hands picked up the ball of fluff at your feet, cradling the tiny baby in your arms to ease your mind. it purred softly, nudging its head into your fingers, its heterochromatic eyes of blue and green peering up. your socked feet scuffed its way towards the kitchen, watching fondly as todoroki lifted the ladle of broth to his mouth, taste testing his soup concoction. he winced at the taste, almost in disbelief at what he tried. who knows how long he's been trying to make this. with a stifled laugh, you offer to help.

"do you even know how to cook? let me taste it and I'll tell you what you need!" for being a pro-hero, him not noticing your presence was a little silly. he jumped a little but played it off, eyeing you softly. the cat meowed, jumping out of your hands and onto the floor effortlessly, rubbing itself on todoroki. it was a cute scene, his cheeks a pale pink and his ears flushed, the soft purrs of his cat and the disheveled wrinkles of his shirt was so cute. cute? oh, the guilty feeling is back again. your smile faltered as you walk to the pot, taking whatever leftover broth was in the ladle into your mouth to taste. you had the same reaction as him, grimacing in distaste. it was so bland, like, uncharacteristically bland. and watery? and.. missing every single spice needed to make it flavorful. you giggled, lifting yourself on the tips of your toes to reach into his cabinet, pulling out every spice needed and some other ones you wanted to try.

you spent the rest of the night cooking the soup, engaging in another game of catch-up over the past two years you were in the hospital. he mentioned the newer stores that opened near your home, or the stores that closed down recently or changed locations. because, of course he would remember all your favorite locations. he kept tabs on probably everything you had an interest in. he wasn't sure if that was good or bad, though. you listened intently nonetheless, nodding in understanding or gasping at the new news. he gave you updates about your friends, how mina went abroad to model for a partnership, or how bakugou actually mellowed out for once. he wasn't as invested in you guys' friends as he was about the things in your life, so there wasn't too much said, thought he said as much as he knew.

"oh, and yaoyaorozu? last I remembered you guys were together, no? we helped you move in here!" right. yaoayorou. he refrained from saying much about her. things didn't end well with her, and to be completely honest, he was to blame for it all. with an uneasy look, he pet his cat in his arms. shoto looked over the digital clock on the wall, 1:29 am. the story was far too long to explain. but he knew neither of you were tired. but if he explained it all, would you view him differently? he bit his lip in thought, uncertain and nervous.

"we broke up not too long after you were in the hospital." he breathed, allowing himself to get comfortable in the solace of his couch. "she said I was invested in everything but her, and that I never acted like a boyfriend to her but a.. placeholder." his blue and grey eyes peer in your direction, your orbs wide but focused, taking in the new information. you didn't want to believe though, you always believed shoto would have been a great boyfriend.

"she said that? im sorry for asking about it, but I'm sure you weren't as bad as she claims. maybe you guys were compatible, to she wanted more than you could give, y'know?" you tried to reassure him, but a part of it only made him feel guilty. he pressed on, thanking you gently while he continued his story.

"I visited you in the hospital every day, for several hours at a time. I went when I woke up before my shift, I went after, I went on my days off, I went on lunch breaks. I sat in the hospital chair, talking to you and sharing a meal more than I ever did with yaoyaorozu. My life had completely revolved around your well-being and it made her upset, rightfully so. I was never intimate with her, we hardly ever slept in the same bed. Our conversations were bland unless you happened to be brought up. Only then did I become interested, or it ended up in an argument. She said if I cared for you so much then why was I even bothering with her?"

the long tangent had you shocked, feeling the irresistible heat crawl up the back of your neck to your cheeks and ears, a hand covering your mouth as you watched him. he sunk further into the couch, almost sulkingly, clinging onto the white cat on his chest. maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the magic of being up late into the night, but he continued to talk and speak nothing but the truth. as bare and open as it was.

"I think my whole life has always been about you. but you were interested in midoriya. I figured it would have been a smarter move to move on from you since you were with him. and since yaoyaorou was the only person who could've been an option I half hazardly chose her and practically exploited her feelings for me to form a relationship, just to find closure in some one-sided feelings. that's why I visited you often in the hospital, and cut all ties with midoriya and ochaco when all those articles came out."

another look at the clock read 2:33am, before his eyes landed on yours. wet, big, and full of raw emotions. you let out a small sob, before sniffling and wiping your face, the faintest blush your nose. you scooted closer, laughing.

"if you say all that, I can't help but feel bad for yaoyaorozu. I can't imagine how that must've felt, for both of you. but i won't take your feelings lightly. give me some time, okay? things are complicated for me, too. if im being honest, hearing you say all those things makes me beyond happy, its almost embarrassing. but my conscious can't help but feel guilty, I still feel tied to izuku. I mean, just the other day in my timeline we were talking about marriage. then I wake up and find out hes with my best friend." your hands reach out towards the cat as well, scratching the top of her head as she purred, your fingers brushing up against todoroki's every now and then, before he decide to holds your fingers between his, his ow eyes never leaving your face as you spoke.

"I want to take your feelings with honesty. so just give me a little more time, okay?" even though the wallowing pain of guilt still continued to eat at you, you persevered and kissed the softness of his pale cheek, his face flaming up in red. he nodded meekly, giving your hand a squeeze.

"of course, anything for you."

tag list

@c0sm1cstqrsx @aliceblossoms @0b1wan @obeythehuman @whippedbyikemen @faimmm @sagejin @gummy-toes @seobstarr @candiiee @slowlyelectronictragedy @mashedcarrott @justagirlfr @aespie @marley1773

[midorisplash]

Your Private Dancer.

Pairing: Striper!JakeWebber x OwnerDom!Reader.

A/N: Based of @samandcolby-ownme Story. I wanted to switch the roles so I had to write this real quick. Link to their story.

Warning: Praising, handjob, Gn!reader but use of ma’am once, name calling, Finger sucking.

“Jake!” You yell. He looks around a moment then over to you, as soon as he saw you face a smile plastering over his own sliding his hand down the staircase from the stage.

You smiled back watching him almost bounce his way over to you. “You looked amazing tonight sweetheart!” You spoke reaching a hand out and placing it at his waist.

“Did i?” He giggled feeling your hand run down along his waist to his ass slapping it while pulling him closer. He yelped and bit his lip. “Come with me.” You spoke pulling away grabbing hold of his hand and walking to your office.

He nodded quickly and let you drag him along, down a dark hallway to your office.

You walked over to your desk sitting down in your chair pulling him so he was standing infront of you.

“You wanted a private dance Huh?” Jake smiled. You nodded putting your arms on the chairs rest looking him up and down.

“I’ll do it. If you promise you'll touch me.” He whispered bringing his hands to his belt swinging his hips to the faint music being heard from the club. He started to slowly undo his belt turning his back to you pushing his butt out before sitting down on your lap wiggling his hip.

“You’ll touch me right?” He moaned letting his head fall back on your shoulder. You couldn't help smile.“You’re such a horny slut jake.” You whisper one of your hands coming to his neck as the other came around his waist taking his belt off and unzipping his pants.

“I’m your slut.” He whispered back.

You used your hand to pull his pants down enough his hard dick was exposed Jake lifting up his hips to help you. He groaned quietly at the cold air of your office hitting his tip while dragging his hand to the one you had on his neck bring it up to his mouth to suck your fingers.

“I’ll touch you, if you beg for it like the slut your are.” You whispered.

His hips thrusted up at your words pulling two of your fingers out his mouth. “Please touch me. I’m a horny fucking slut that needs your touch.” He whined. “Fuck I need it so bad. Please.” You smiled pleased with his begging pushing your fingers back into his mouth using your other hand to wrap around his dick, finally reliving some pressure.

He pushed his butt into your lap as your hand started to glide up and down his shaft a sticky layer of precum making you hand slide effortlessly. His eyes fluttered closed. “Thank you..” Jake groaned around your fingers. You kissed his shoulder up to his neck starting to suck barely, pulling your fingers out his mouth down to his pierced nipple rubbing at it with small circles. He smiled and wiggled his hips thrusting up in your fist.

As a warning you squeezed his dick biting his neck. “Fuck y/n!” He giggled through a moan.

“Tell me how good I did today. How much you love watching me.. Tell me I’m your fucking favorite.” You rubbed at his tip pinching at his nipple. “You did so good today, everyone couldn’t keep their eyes off you tonight. I’m so glad I get to have you all to my self.” You whispered close to his ear. His mouth hung open soft moans spilling out of him as his hips wiggled against your lap.

You pulled off his dick to flick his tip listening to him whine out in pleasure. “Ugh! Keep going please!” He whined. You flicked his tip one last time before wrapping your hand back around him jerking him off quickly.

With you one of your hands toying at his sensitive nipple and the other stroking his thick dick he couldn’t help get unbelievably close, his moans getting higher pinched with each stroke.

Jake brung his hand to his stomach rubbing at it in search to help ease the rough orgasm he was getting closer and closer too. You looked up to him watching his eyes squeeze tightly closed and his mouth fall open he was quiet for a short while before groaning loudly.

“I'm cumming!” He moaned.

You then pitched his sensitive nipple roughly leaving his shaft to stroke only his red tip cum spraying into the plam of you hand. He wiggled around gripping at the arm rest of your chair with his free hand. “fuck me! oh my god!” He whined rubbing his stomach before wrapping his hand arm around his waist.

He slowly opened his eyes squinting to watch his dick shoot a few more ropes of cum onto your hand.

You kept rubbing his tip until you noticed he was starting to settle down, then you pulled away holding your hand away from his body and yours. “look at the mess you made Jake. You know you have to clean up after yourself right?” He nodded weakly grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips sucking at your fingers still trying to catch his breath from his orgasm. “Good boy.” You giggled patting his head.

He licked your fingers clean and smiled turning on your lap to look at you. “Now cover up and and get back on the stage for me? They all probably miss the best dance of the night.” He beamed and nodded. “Yes, ma’am..”

[lucrezianoin]

Astarion-centric fics recs (49 fanfics)

I will divide them by ship. They are all complete unless specified. Also, if a fic is not here it does not mean that I did not like it, I could have forgotten it or just not seen it given that there is a lot of Astarion content!

Just make sure to read all the tags warnings when you open the AO3 page. I added the non-ship focused but Cazador focused ones at the end.

Also it feels weird to rec my own fics, but in case you want to read astarion h/c I am writing you can find me here at LadyRagnelle (for now all DarkUrge or Tav/Astarion).

Regarding if this reclist might be useful for you... there are a lot of Astarion fics, a lot of tags used and a lot of preferences! I have a very particular preference for a specific kind of fic (h/c, whump, softness, mainly) and in the case of Astarion I tend to not read nsfw, usually. So if you have been around my blog and you think we might share fics preferences... maybe these are the fics for you too! I will update this post with time.

I am trying to add a small description to all the fics, but I prioritized adding the links, so some of them do not have a description yet, but they were beloved in my bookmarks.

GEN (no ship)

Prying eyes (unsupermarket) - One of my absolute favorite. Karlach and Astarion share one of Astarion's nightmares (thanks to the tadpoles).

Reflecting endless down the hall (Asidian) - Each chapter is dedicated to one of the companions and the way they interact with Astarion, each chapter connected to a part of his past and trauma.

TAV (OR DARK URGE)/ASTARION

After all that I can do for them is done (votiveviscera)

To Aid and be aided (Beppoberry) - Post Cazador, taking care of each other.

Between the lines (Slothquisitor) - Amazing story about Tav gifting Astarion books.

Broken mechanism (laquearia) - Character study on Astarion's "Don't touch me".

Copper blood and silver hearts (netherprince)

The darkest corner of Baldur's Gate (Nebulad)

(Don't) lose your head (CL34R)

Don't you hear me praying? (ridgeline) - Short haunting story about Astarion's trauma.

And his pretty hand hold my leash (osiris_ryes) - one of the few nsfw fics in this rec list. This has some amazing Dark Urge writing and manages to use nsfw scene without ignoring the consent issues present in the game.

Hold me without hurting (fairbutnotsomaiden) - Astarion disassociates, Tav is kind.

I could feel my life begin (Flowercitti)

I have a good place to hide (Flowercitti)

I know how this will end (MyFandomCausesHanaji) - Amazing Dark Urge story about Durge trying to stop themselves from killing Astarion - and reliving the same day over and over.

A long dead pulse (enthugger) - Post-Cazador, Tav takes care of Astarion.

Made / Unmade (Adaphyl)

Mortal shortfall (titasylase) - Giving a gift to Astarion + act 1 angst, perfect combination.

Not something that I was but what I played (WitchyBee)

Out of wine and flowers (enthugger)

Porcelain (cweepa) - Astarion is sick, and he really cares about how he looks. Absolutely stunning story full of very delicate hurt/comfort and angst. I've reread this so many times.

Savages (cweepa) - Astarion finds a kitten.

Seducere (Tlon) - This is THE fanfic. I remember waiting every night for the new chapter. It narrates Astarion's past and his present in the game. Heartbreaking and haunting.

Specter (justfortune) - post game fanfic about Tav and Astarion's new life together, with some interesting concepts about personal space and sharing life.

Suck the rot right out of my bloodstream (Flowercitti) - I love Flowercitti's stories so so much. This one is specifically about consent. Please, read all their fics.

Vanity items (Flowyen) - Incomplete fic, but still amazing. Just Astarion receiving genuine compliments.

You only feel it when it’s lost (gettin’ through still has a cost) (Flowercitti) - Flowercitti's Tav takes care of Astarion after Cazador.

The way you are (imprinted on a page) (cryptidvaquero) - Tav draws Astarion as a gift.

Was it something you ate (Anoke)

Water down what I call being grateful (Flowercitti) - This fic was written for one of my prompts. I will be eternally grateful because I love stories that deal with looking right through Astarion's seductions.

HALSIN/ASTARION

Animal I have become (Ulfrsmal)

Free (Faetality)

Handmande (BerlinBelin) - One of my favourite, absolutely stunning series about touch starved Astarion trying to ask (with difficulty) fo non-sexual intimacy.

Known in its aching (BerlinBerlin) - sick fic with so much tenderness.

Never gonna fall for (modern love) (Dwinkle) - Halsin offers Astarion his blood.

Through sneers and words snide (BerlinBelin)

HALSIN/TAV/ASTARION

Working on it (casswathever) - Very well written series with multiple fics, I particularly loved the relationship discussions.

WYLL/ASTARION

To die with you (WaterSeraphim)

A dream of sweet things (Asidian) - delicious h/c, trust issues and some nightmares too.

Innocence died screaming (Flowercitti) - Wyllstarion fic that starts from Astarion's past with Cazador, from his turning into a spawn. Ongoing.

KARLACH/ASTARION

Repairs (Asidian) - Heartbreakingly angsty fic about Karlach finding her touch again and Astarion expecting their first night to go a certain way.

The Things you miss (Asidian) - A very sweet fic about Karlach and Astarion interacting.

ASTARION/SEBASTIAN

A lyric on your tongue (justfortune) - Sebastian and Astarion meet.

GALE/ASTARION

The heat is only skin deep (ThatKorka)

POLY

Sharing (Asidian) - a touch of angst, touch starved characters, act 1 spoilers so slightly present consent issues.

CAZADOR-FOCUSED (no secondary ship)

Fake it (deerna)

Lost and never found (arenathesia)

Thou art mine (sophos) - The story of Astarion learning how to keep Cazador happy.

your reflection can't offer a word (to the bliss of not knowing yourself) (undermounts)

[zombiewhor3]

CAMP

daryl dixon x fem reader .

WARNINGS: reader is of age, fem masurbation, caught masturbation, breast play, oral sex (fem receiving), fluid consumption (cum only), penetrative sex, teasing, begging, praise, slight handjob, after care

she sat on the edge of the garden looking to see Carol and the scruffy redneck speaking to a small teenage boy, one with glasses and was quite scrawny, it was a person she had often seen hanging around Carl and a few other kids while she helped Carol at story time.

She could see them talking barely even being able to pick up on the conversation from her distance sitting on the garden bed, she could hear a few murmurs and well a few scraps of words but her mind focused on something other than their words.

She had watched Daryl lick his fingers clean before shaking the scrawny boy's hand, she muttered a softness of profanity underneath her breath wishing she could relive the moment she just saw.

his muscles flexed as he roughly shook the kids hand, his tattoo on his shoulder blade was now visible from the shirt he had used his dagger on to cut the sleeves off.

She remembered watching him do it, she remembered watching his hands flex each time he was stripping the fabric from each arm of the shirt, she had stared at him the entire time he was sitting in their shared cell room.

He had noticed her staring out of the corner of his eye while he was cutting up his shirts? How could he not, he had eyed her while she licked her lips clean watching him hunched over breaking a sweat in the hot prison room, he didn't mind, he never did. He enjoyed her eyes gawking at him and following him wherever he went.

Daryl looked over at her staring this time it was even more blantant as she had her legs crossed squeezing each time she looked at him.

he watched her eyes trail down to the dirt splotches on her jeans as she acted like she had just been staring down at her lap the entire time instead of the tattered hunter.

he let a small smirk fly onto his mouth before using his hand to wipe it away, he hadn't needed Carol to ask questions about why he was smiling or who he was even smiling for.

he could see her get up as her face was a messed up rose tone almost like she was embarrassed or even flustered from just the graze from his eyes, and it was true. She couldn't help but get flustered even when he did the smallest of things.

She could feel a sense of flutters inside her chest whenever he looked at her, whenever his hand skimmed hers it was like an erotica she knew wasn't real, it was an erotic she had dreamt about one that she wished at the bottom of her heart hadn't just been a fantasy of hers.

she had gone back inside of their cell block wandering to their shared cell and closing not just the curtain but the door along with it, she had the keys rested on his workbench looking over at his shirt that had dangled off of the tampered metal.

she could feel a slight gush in her heart as she slipped her hands into her jeans feeling the wet spot he had caused in her panties just from looking at her, she slipped her hand into the cotton of her panties biting down on her lip as she used her middle finger to draw small circles over her needy clit.

she prayed he would be stuck on perimeter duty with glenn like usual, she couldn't help but run her mind over the way he had sucked his fingers off, or the way his muscles would flex as he lifted something or when he was out hunting how his ass would look so good in the patched up blue jeans he wore.

she let out a meek mewl on accident feeling as she pumped two fingers inside of her cunt, she bit down onto her lip even harder to try and keep the sound in.

but her soft squeals somehow managed to slip each time her fingers would curl hitting her g-spot just perfectly, she had been making sure to give the same amount of attention to her clit acting as if it weren't her fingers anymore but yet instead his.

She was thinking about how good he would've felt inside her, how well he would've finger fucked her until she was left raw and throbbing.

She was almost surely over her edge once she thought about the way he looked so fucking good in those shirts he had chopped up himself.

She had let out a soft moan before feeling her orgasm arise in her, just a few more spins of her fingers over her clit and she was surely to spill over the top, just thinking about the boy who slept above her each night.

He noticed the curtain and the door closed, which probably meant she was sleeping, he rattled his spare keys softly as he unlocked the door pulling back the curtain to see her with her head tossed back into the pillows biting down on her lip with her hand in her pants letting out a soft moan of his name.

"jesus christ" he murmured under his breath which had caught her attention making her pull her hand away from out of her jeans,

"i thought you were on a perimeter check!" she asked trying to hide her embarrassment from it all, she

"rick and maggie are doing it" he spoke calmly while closing his eyes as he held his hand over his crotch trying not to remember that he had heard his name being spilled from her mouth.

"i'm sorry daryl i really am" she stood up from the bed trying to walk past him but his hand stopped her.

"saw ya staring at me at breakfast and i know ya like it" he spoke pulling a piece of her hair back behind her ear watching her shiver, she nodded her head with a soft but yet mumbled 'mhm'

she wasn't sure whether he was toying with her let alone she hadn't had the right words to speak, instead she watched his eyes in a haze watching his pupils grow dark.

he let out a gruff laugh before forcing her eyes to look up at him, "why'd ya stop" he asked skimming his fingers over the waistband of her jeans feeling her body shiver, not a shiver of fear but yet a suspense she could feel building inside her.

she took a step so she could lay back on his bed watching him pull off his cut up shirt and his vest tossing it to center of his workbench, his hands fiddled at his belt before soonly tossing that off to, he kicked off his boots hearing them clatter to the floor.

his hands pressed into the mattress while he dangled above her, "what if the others hear us" she asked making sure she wouldn't be caught for the second time.

"all outside or doing their chores, tyresse offered to cover mine" he spoke watching as his hands glided up her torso to pull off her shirt, she let out a soft sigh of the relief from him unhooking her bra watching as her breasts rested and nipples grew hard.

he threw off her jeans looking down to see her panties, a wet spot had formed but now even bigger from his touch, he licked his lips before propping himself up with her body so that he could lick her breasts, she felt his tongue lick over each of her nipples making sure to give each of her breasts the same amount of attention,

she could feel his tongue drag itself slowly down before skimming past her navel, he nibbled at the fabric of her underwear taking in the smell of the fresh cotton, she let out a gasp feeling his fingers remove the fabric from her body tucking them into his pocket,

"bet ya taste so fuckin good" he spoke watching as her hips bucked in a gushful manner, almost like she was dying for him to taste her,

she let out a meek whine as she was already starting to tangle her fingers in his scruffy hair, she loved the feeling of it running through the skin of her fingers as it tickled her palm.

His tongue licked up one clear stripe against her cunt making him hold onto her hips forcing them to stay down surely leaving bruises on them with his thumbs,

he continued to suck gently, swirling his tongue around her clit making her jump softly almost bucking like a wild stallion if it weren't for his grip on her.

She could feel him murmur something against her dripping cunt, his words had sent a shriveling vibration throughout her core,

she let out a mumble of profanity once more feeling his tongue flick over her clit moving so fast that she could already feel the knot in her stomach starting to loosen.

"oh god daryl" she moaned softly squeezing her thighs around his head so that she could get more of him, his tongue grazed over her hole making her jump slightly, "taste so fuckin good" he mumbled against her just loud enough for her to hear,

she felt like she was dancing in the stars from his tongue, her cunt felt weak falling into him like she was ready to give him everything,

"dar i'm gonna cum" she whimpered gripping onto his shoulders, now he was only flicking and sucking faster just so he could watch her topple over the edge like she had done before.

he could feel a river of juices gush onto her face as he completed his goal, he had made sure to try and lick up every worthy drop that had spilled from her needy cunt,

"oh god" she mumbled as her eyes stayed glued to the man licking his fingers in-front of her, she could feel a flutter shoot up though her body as she prayed this all wasn't some sick dream where she'd be left in a puddle of her own wetness from the dream.

he slipped down his jeans to see the tented black boxers, his cock was practically begging to be broken free, she could feel him twitch softly as her hands ran down him to slip off his boxers,

she ran her thumb over his cock, he was long and quite thick it made her shutter as she wiping some of the pre-cum onto the pad of her thumb licking it clean earning a lick from his lips as he watched her.

just before pumping her hands around him he let out a sputtered gasp while stopping her, he liked the sensation but he needed a stronger one, one like her tight cunt that would fill the missing lust in his void.

she could feel him stop her while his hands pushed down on her hips pushing her back down into the thin mattress below them, his thumbs spun circles against her hip bone as he had thought about tasting her sweet cunt again, but instead he was placing a delicate trail of hickies just above her navel.

she mumbled something as she felt his shoulder blades flex as her hands gripped onto them, "need ya so bad" he murmured against the skin he had been delicately marking.

she whined pressing her hands further into him as she grew even needier for his touch, he could tell she was eager by the way her hips bucked and the sweet whines slipping off her tongue, every sound she made, made his cock twitch almost like he was just as eager to feel the walls built around her.

The tip of his cock had been smeared in her juices as he teased her wet slit, he could feel the warm soak into him as he let out a soft sigh wanting to shove her full of him.

her hands gripped at the flimsy cheap white linen messily placed on the bed, she could feel him lean down just so he could whisper something to her just so he could ask her to beg for him,

"tell me watcha need sweetheart" he spoke slipping a piece of her hair behind her ear, he could hear a whine come from in-between her lips but that wasn't enough he needed to hear her say it,

he pulled his cock away from her slit finally hearing her speak up, "i need you dar please" she whimpered feeling as his cock slid in perfectly inside of her pussy, he reached out to grab her hand once he heard her let out a soft hiss from his size.

he could feel her soaked walls already having an impact on him, her mouth laid agape while she could feel some of his hair dangle down onto her face sending a shiver through her,

"oh god move please" she begged at him feeling as he started off slow pressing down into her hand as he felt her nails at the top of his hand sending a slight sharp prickle through the skin,

he thrusted faster feeling her body fit like a glove onto his cock, he could hear her cry out as she wrapped her legs around his bag lifting them up higher so she could feel him deeper in her.

he let out a grunt against the crook of her neck feeling her call out his name again, "daryl" she cried using her other hand to dig into the mattress feeling as the pressure built up in her.

"god ya cry so fuckin pretty" he mumbled into her as she could feel her walls clench around his member making him shudder while he used most of his force to thrust himself into her.

she let out a loud series of moans, so loud she was sure the entire damn prison inside and out must've heard them, he should've covered her mouth to keep the noise down but hearing her moans and cries was to good, to good for him to keep away.

he sucked on the tender skin of her jawline feeling her gulp as she squeezed down on his hand, "oh god i'm so close" she whimpered at him feeling him increase his pace, as their wet hips collided he was letting out his own trail of noises against her.

once satisfied with his work on her jawline he lifted himself up just enough so that he could see her eyes clench and see the pretty mouth that had been letting out all the noises,

she could feel the knot in her stomach wanting to untie itself from her core, it wanted to spill out onto his cock and make itself a mess all for him to take in.

she could feel the knot hanging by a thread as she used both of her hands to claw at his back leaving small crescent shapes from her nails in his skin, he groaned feeling her nails pierce her but yet he liked the sensation, the feeling of being so close to her.

she was cock drunk a moaning mess unable to keep herself under control now she was blubbering and whining his name while she bucked up her hips feeling him use of his hands to grope at her breasts before speaking to her.

"c'mon baby cum for me" he whispered rubbing his hand over each of her nipples to divide the attention to both, she could feel the hot gush of her juices pouring onto his abdomen while he had filled her with his own fluid.

she had let out a loud noise just before she came but the aftermath was almost quiet except for her panting and soft cries, she could feel his cock pull out of her with a pop sound making her gasp as she closed her eyes from her sensitivity.

He had slipped on his boxers while looking over at her,

he could hear her soft cries making his brows furrow sadly while he reached for a bottle of water and a small rag from his work bench, he poured some water on the rag before using it to wipe her thighs and up to her cunt clean feeling her jump when he skimmed her clit.

he looked at the mess of hickies on her body, from her jawline, to down above her hips, he rubbed his hand over them before reaching into her bag pulling out a pair of shorts and panties, he helped to slip them on her hearing her mumble a thank you as his shirt was slipped over her.

he let her use his chest as a resting spot while he pulled some of the sweaty hair from out of her face, her thighs skimmed together making her whine softly and with a soft shush from him he brought her body even closer to his.

"ya alright sugar" he could feel her body faintly nod against him, "did i fuck ya to sleep almost" he chuckled feeling her hand run over his abdomen, with another nod she yawned scooting closer to him.

"what's this mean daryl?"

she asked him feeling his fingers run through her hair to soothe her softly, "means i care about ya" he spoke, his answer was short and she couldn't stand the such shortness of his words.

she shifted before repeating herself to him, "means yer mine" he huffed back at her with a soft smile watching one appear on her face,

" night sugar"

"night dar"

[uravitsy]

‘YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL’ SATORU GOJO

ACT TWO.

summary. gojo relives his memories with you, getting closer to acceptance. ☆

warnings. angst, sad!gojo, fem!reader! gojo x you, grief, established relationship, some smut if you squint, bittersweet ending

a/n. this is a short story i wrote over the summer, i wanted to dabble into the idea of gojo not being able to fully process his grief without the help of his students. it is a bit sad though.

ACT ONE : ̗̀➛ ACT THREE : ̗̀➛ FINALE

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪

Gojo danced his fingertips across your bare skin. the pads of his thumbs pressing into your flush thighs before dipping in between your legs. He watched as you continued to sleep, your chest rising and falling peacefully. your skin was still covered with love bites and marks from the passionate night before. Hair spread widely against the silk pillowcase as goosebumps appeared on your skin from being touched by Gojo's cold hands. 

With a smile, Gojo lowered himself down, spreading your legs to put one of your thighs over his shoulder so he had full access to your lady parts. Without hesitation he teasingly glides his warm tongue along your folds, making you squirm and try to close your legs in reflex but Gojo's grip forcibly kept them open. 

He moaned into your pussy, sucking on the sensitive bundle of nerves to the point where you were lifting your hips up from the bed slightly, trying to move away from the overwhelming pleasure but gojo kept you in place, forcing you to take all that he was giving you on this lazy sunday morning. 

"Satoru," you moaned his name tiredly, your head falling back on the pillows as you relaxed.

"Yes, sweetheart?" Gojo lifts his head up to look at you, biting your inner thigh.

"i'm still so sore and sensitive from yesterday.." you let out a blissful sigh as Gojo teased your clit with a flick of his tongue, a shiver going down your spine, "mm."

"I'll take care of you," His words were sweet like honey and his touch was like silk. it made you melt into the mattress, ultimately giving your body to him with such trust you wouldn't give to anyone else, "That's my good girl."

With a loud moan, you let Gojo take you to the world of bliss. It was nice to have him to yourself for a change since he'd been so busy at his job. You found yourself getting lost into piles of work as well, pursing your dreams with such vigor that it made you not have time in your calendar for your boyfriend. But you weren't going to let that stop you, to let it consume you to the point where your relationship with Gojo would grow strained. 

So you made the time, the effort, to see him more and now here you two were, rolling around in the sheets for the past five days to make up for lost time. 

You couldn't ask for anything else on such a glorious sunday morning. It was perfect. He was perfect.

"Parmesan cheese?" You asked Gojo as your back was facing him, continuing to plate his pasta that was fresh off the stove, "Satoru?"

"Hm? Oh! Yes, thank you." Gojo tossed his mail across the table before leaning back in his chair.  You gladly served him his food with a nice tall glass of water but not without raising an eyebrow in question.

"What was it?" Humming, you take a sip of your own water as you pick up the envelope before reading the top, "Jujustu high...? isn't that the school you went to? why are they sending mail after all these years?" 

"For a job offer," Gojo did well to hide most of his life with you and he wasn't going to let the wall crumble now. it was too dangerous for you to know anything about what he and others were capable of, "I already said no but they are persistent. besides, what do i look like teaching a bunch of kids?"

You couldn't help but let out a sad chuckle. Gojo was indifferent when it came to children and made it made it very clear throughout the five years you two been dating. He said they were annoying brats that he didn't have time for and over time you hoped his perspective changed, especially now that you were— never mind that, what were you going to do? What were you going to tell him?

"It might be a good opportunity," You try to reason with him, "You said that you were sick of this job you had now anyway. maybe a change will do you good, you should consider it."

"You make a good point."

You push your own feelings aside as you give him a bright smile, "Now don't wait up for me. I have this job interview and then a few errands to run. I'll see you later tonight, I'm thinking chinese?" Gojo followed you down the hall with a knowing smirk. He watched as you put your shoes on and grab your keys that were hanging on the hook by the door, "Unless you want something else then text me, I can always make—"

You were interrupted with a kiss. Gojo and your lips moving together in sync until you both were breathless. after a few moments, Gojo pulled away with a teasingly smile, a bit of pasta sauce still on the corner of his mouth from eating like a starved child. 

"You're too good for me," Your boyfriend says honestly, his bright colored eyes looking upon you like you were his whole world, "I love you (y/n)."

"And I ove you too," And you meant that with every fiber of your being. You move Gojo's white hair away from his eyes, your hand resting on his cheek for a second too long as if to savor this moment between you. If you could freeze time it would be right for this moment, "i'll see you later, yeah?"

"Of course sweets," Gojo kisses the top of your head, confused by the pit of dread that he felt in his stomach. Why did he feel so bad all of a sudden? Why didn't he want to let you go? If only he knew that that was his inner voice warning him, telling him to stop the unthinkable. If only he would've known better then— maybe you'd still be by his side, "Get going so you can come back to me, I'll be so boooooored without you!"

"You could, I don't know, go to work?" You tease him, knowing that it was his day off. lucky him, "Not everyone has such a privilege like you, enjoy it! call geto or something."

"He's the last person I want to see!" Gojo lets out an annoyed huff, "Why can't you call off?"

"Goodbye Satoru," And with that you closed the door behind you. Your light and sweet aura going with you, leaving the place feeling cold and empty. Why didn't he stop you from leaving? Why did he just watch you leave? He blamed himself. He blamed himself for everything. 

"And so," Mrs.Shoko smiled at you as she tapped on resume, "You've been accepted for the position," her words left you nearly gawking, "we can get your office set up as soon as possible. How does Monday sound?"

"M-Monday?" you were still reeling from the shock, "That's perfect! Thank you so much for this opportunity!" Shaking her hand vigorously, you couldn't help but bow in thanks.

"I take it you'll be ready to relocate to Tokyo? I know it's quite far but—"

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes!" This was your dream job after all; Gojo would understand. You both talked about the endless possibilities, and this was one of them. You couldn't turn it down, not when you were so close to achieving what you had worked all your life for.

"So? What did you say?" Mrs. Yamada could hardly take the suspense as she set down a plate of finger sweets in front of you. "You've been telling me about this job for months."

"Of course, I said yes!" You smiled as you thanked her for the snacks, not wasting a second before stuffing your face. "Now I have to talk to Gojo."

"Speaking of him, have you told him yet?" Mrs. Yamada turns her sign to closed before taking a seat across from you, nodding in approval as you pour the both of you tea politely. The porcelain teapot weighed a bit heavy in your hands. "It won't be long before you can't hide it anymore, you know."

"I know," you instinctively place your hand on your stomach with a soft smile, "I'll tell him everything today! I'll get ingredients to make his favorite meal and pick up some of those sweets he likes at the candy shop by our house. It's a day for celebration after all… I just hope he sees it that way as well."

"You should have more faith in him," Mrs. Yamada takes a sip of her tea, "if he loves you, it won't be an issue."

"You're right," you said before checking the time on your phone. It was past 6, and you were sure Gojo was waiting up for you to hear the good news. And you wanted nothing more than to skip home. "Ah, Mrs. Yamada, as always I enjoyed talking to you but—"

"Go on now, you don't have to keep this old lady company anymore," she teases.

"Whatever you say, but I'll be back tomorrow."

"Of course, I can't seem to shake you off me."

"And you never will!" You laugh at the banter between you both before leaving the flower shop with a single flower in hand. You made your way to the nearest grocery store to pick up the ingredients for tonight's dinner, leaving with a few bags that took up almost all of your right arm.

While you were in the grocery store, the weather changed drastically. The once clear blue skies turned to a dark grey, the sudden flashes of lightning brightening the dark street as it began to pour down rain. You groaned, annoyed with the fact that you didn't have an umbrella on you. You were tempted to go back into the store to buy one, but your home was just right around the corner.

Your phone started ringing suddenly, making you rummage around in your purse to find it, the familiar name of: Gojo 🤍 popping up on your screen. "Hey, babe!"

"(Y/N)! It's raining super hard; I can come pick you up."

"I'm almost home. But guess what? I got the job!"

It was just a short two-minute walk from here, and the candy shop lights were still on, lighting up the whole street with its neon sign. You figured that you'd stop to get Gojo's sweets and rub the rest of the way home.

"Whaaaaaat?! I'm so proud of you! We have to celebrate."

"I'm one step ahead of you, Satoru! I also have some other news to share…"

A sudden flash had you squinting your eyes. The power box behind you sparking with electricity in the wake of being struck by lightning. You rushed to cross the street after looking both ways despite the rain fogging up your vision. Unbeknownst to the car that was coming toward you at full speed, the driver's vision obscured by the sudden flash of lightning that was too close for comfort.

All you saw in your final moments were bright headlights coming toward you. Then the world went black.

"(Y/N)? What was that? Are you okay?"

You couldn't move or see, but you could hear, and you could feel. You heard a person screaming for someone to call 911, you heard hurried footsteps around you as you laid against the cold gravel world, the energy to stay alive slowly leaving your body as you felt something tugging, pulling you toward an abyss of warmth and light.

"(Y/N)!"

Your groceries were scattered, and your favorite flower, that single flower, was still in your hands.

-

An officer leads Gojo down some stairs into a basement that was cold and damp. The air is thick with so much tension he thought he would suffocate. "I noticed it does more harm than good for the family member or… er, lover."

"I want to see her to make sure." To make sure of what? To make sure you were really dead? Yes, because quite frankly, he was in denial. It couldn't be you. Out of 7 billion people in the world, it wouldn't be you—it couldn't be you. He knew you'd pop back up and say this was all a joke.

Some sick, cruel joke.

The male officer leads Gojo through a freezing room with bodies on either side of him covered with a white sheet. The only parts of their bodies that were sticking out were their feet, with a large tag hooked around their big toe as if they were luggage.

Gojo's throat goes dry as the officer stops in front of a body, going around the metal table to slowly pull the white sheet back to reveal your lifeless body. "Can you identify her?"

"Yes," Gojo could only nod slowly, the words he wanted to say escaping from his lips like a forgotten memory. Out of reflex, Gojo smiles sadly as he looks down at you. He brings his hand up to stroke your hair, then your cold cheek, holding your once warm hand. "That's my (Y/N)."

"We're still investigating, but it's clear this was a hit and run," the officer continues his words with caution. "And I don't know if you knew, but by the autopsy report, she was five weeks pregnant."

Gojo feels like the wind got knocked out of him. "W-what?" he laughs then, this wasn't real. He was dreaming. When he woke up, you'd be right there next to him like you always would be. But no matter how many times he pinched himself, he couldn't wake up.

"I'll give you a few moments…" The officer leaves the room, his footsteps echoing throughout the large room.

Those few moments turned to hours. The hours turned to days. He couldn't leave your side, not when you were like this. Were you cold? You needed clothes. They had you in such an indecent way with other strangers. He was sure you'd be afraid and confused once you woke up; that's why he wanted to stay by your side.

When you wake up, he'd be right here assuring you that everything was alright.

When you wake up, he'd give you the longest kiss.

"Gojo-sensei?"

When you wake up, he'd hug you and never let go.

"Gojo-sensei?"

You weren't waking up, were you?

Megumi tugged on Gojo's pants leg, his small hand easily taking ahold of Gojo's as he took the flowers from Gojo, delicately placing the bouquet of your favorite flowers on top of your gravestone. Your parents started to walk away, your mother sniffling quietly as your father came to pat Gojo on the shoulder reassuringly. His silence spoke a thousand words as they left the graveyard.

Tsumiki, Megumi's sister, bends down to offer your spirit a plate of sweets. Humming a sad tone, she stands up to her full height, holding Gojo's hand in comfort as she cries softly. She sheds the tears that Gojo wouldn't, his face still holding no emotion as he mumbles a simple goodbye.

"Let's go," Gojo tells the children gently, sparing your headstone one last look before turning away. "How does ice cream sound? I'm craving something sweet."

The children give each other a concerned look, clueless as to why Gojo wasn't on his knees screaming his heart out at the unfairness of it all. But little did they know that he would, but only silently. Only when no one could hear or see him.

He did break. He did fall to his knees. He did cry.

He mourned for you, yearned for you, and begged whatever god that would listen to bring you back to him. But his cries would only fall on empty ears, leaving him to slowly wallow away. His heart forever shattered to where no one would be able to mend the pieces for him even if they tried—and he wouldn't even let them try since this heartbreak, this heartache, was a reminder of you.

He would rather have this pain that only the unlucky ones bear if it will forever serve as a memory of you.

[charlotteking23]

Can you do an Eric Coulter story where there's a newish dauntless leader he's obsessed with and when they finally get together he has a huge breeding kink

Obsessed with you

Eric Coulter x reader

Warning: Smut, praise, breeding kink, p in v sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, not edited.

The sound of finger snapping broke Eric dazed, startling him. "Dude, you're staring". Axel a Dauntless leader spoke up following Eric's eyes to the girl.

"You've been obsessed with her for years", Axel grinned shoving Eric shoulders playfully.

You and Eric were both from the same faction Erudite, Only Eric had known you but you didn't know him till later when she transfered to Dauntless.

Eric had briefly met you, bumping onto you during school. That day Eric fell in love with her but never had the courage to proclaim his feelings for you.

"I know..", Eric sighed looking back at his beautiful Y/N.

"Well..get ready because she is coming over here" Axel said leaving Eric stressed.

"How's my hair, is my jacket go-...Hey Y/N, Eric said before coughing awkwardly seeing his friend shake his head in amusement.

"Hey guys, their a party tonight I was wondering if you wanted to come.., You smiled leaving butterflies in Eric's stomach.

"YEAH...I mean yeah,yeah that' seems cool, Eric said trying to keep his excitement in, before he saw you leaving back to your friends.

"Man you're whipped", Axel laughed at Eric lovesick look.

"This is perfect, I finally have a chance to ask her out", Eric smiled at the thought.

Eric was ready for tonight, dressing in his usual attire but took extra time combing his hair and putting extra cologne on wanting to look perfect for his Y/N.

Blinding light, people dancing or making out with each other and the alcohol flowing free was the first thing Eric saw at a usual Dauntless party.

But his eyes were only looking for his girl, Y/N. She was wearing a black dress and her hair curled enhancing her beauty even more.

He started walking towards the bar hoping after some drinks he would have some courage to ask You.

"Hey Eric", a voice Eric knew all to well had spoke to him.

"um..Hey Y/N", Eric said back hoping to relive some tension.

You only giggled, "You don't have to be so awkward with me".

But Eric only smiled watching as you spoke about something but he wasn't paying attention only watching how your lips were moving wishing he would kiss them right now.

"Oh sorry am I boring you", You said feeling guilty about wasting Eric's time.

"You could never bore me", Eric smiled watching Your eyes light up in appreciation.

"I have to ask you something...", Eric nervously chuckled rubbing the back of his neck.

Eric started into Y/N's doe looking eyes, the eyes he would do anything for, she didn't know how much power she held him.

"Y/N I have liked you since we were both in Eurdite since you bumped into me by accident, I've never had the courage back in Eurdite to ask you out but now...Would you go out with me", Eric said nervously rubbing his hands before he felt someone's soft delicate hands taking his hands into hers interwining them together.

"Eric, I would love to go out with you", You smiled at him.

"Why don't we get out of here", You said pulling Eric out of the crowded space and into more of a secluded area which happened to be Eric's apartment since it was to closest.

Opening the apartment door, Eric immediately started to kiss Your neck basking in pleasure.

"Where's your room", you managed to get out before gasping out the pleasure of getting whisked away in Eric's big arms.

He laid you down on the bed roughly taking off your clothes scattering them all over the place.

"Oh, baby", Eric said kissing down your neck to your boobs before sucking on them.

You felt Eric's hand go down lower to your dripping wet pussy and slid his fingers into your soaked cunt. The only thing you're able to focus on is the pleasure Eric is giving you. It makes you moan greedily. You begin to squirt all over his fingers. Everything is soaked.

"Look at the mess you made, my naughty girl", Eric said pulling away from your boobs before roughly grabbing your jaw smashing his lips into you, It was rough, feeling Eric dominate the kiss.

Eric pulled his hand away from your pussy. You whine, as if to say 'please,' he moved your body, since you're barely able to stand, and bend you over the couch.

Eric took the rest of his clothes off before roughly pulling your hair before shoving two fingers in your pussy, "You squeezed me so tight, darling".

Eric started to move faster putting three fingers in your pussy, leaving you in a moaning mess your eyes closing at the amount of pleasure.

"You're cumming again? You're so pathetic", Eric growled before taking his fingers out licking them before roughly shoving his cock back in your pussy.

"You like when my cock is shoved inside of you, don't you whore?" Eric growled into my ear. he begins pounding into you mercilessly. You squirm and moan underneath him.

"You're nothing but a cocksleeve, a hole for me to fuck whenever I please" Eric said as he pushed your face down into the cushion. "I'm going to fill your pretty pussy with my sweet cum", his thrusts become faster and faster.

"You better take it all, slut", Eric announced. You let out a muffled scream as his cock empties into your womb.

"Don't worry baby hmm, just let it all out", Eric said holding you down, making you do nothing but squirm at the feeling of his cock.

[maybe-moonchild]

CHAPTER 4

summary: in which Peter can't stay away but he can't stay either. WC: 5.8k

ﾟ ⋆ ﾟ ☂︎ ⋆ ﾟ

Congratulations, you have successfully managed to avoid Peter Parker for six whole days. 

Not like it’s all that hard considering that the two of you had managed to avoid each other all of high school and college. 

It didn’t stop him from plaguing your thoughts each day. 

The feel of his hand on your hip, fingers tightening when you’d tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck. The groans in the back of his throat you’d managed to coax out when your hand, with a mind of its own, slipped up the hem of his t-shirt. His toned abdomen, rigid under your fingertips like it was made by god himself-

With a loud groan, you slump forward so your head bangs against your dining room table.

It’s raining again, the steady hum ambient as you try to work on your upcoming calendar. You’d opted to put off starting your new job until the end of June. That way, you would have a five week long break from the end of undergrad until the start of full time employment. 

Some pop song played behind Katie’s door as she got ready for her night. You were spending Friday night safely tucked in at home. After how disastrous last weekend had gone, you wanted no excitement. Flash and Katie had been bummed about your refusal to join them at some club, but you were content to have a quiet night.

Your friends had taken notice of your slightly odd behavior but they didn’t pry. They chalked it up to an embarrassing one night stand that you didn’t want to relive. 

Oh, how you fucking wish it was that simple. 

It takes you a few moments to realize that the tapping on the window is far too loud and inconsistent compared to the droplets exploding on the glass. You glance up, doing a double take at Peter’s figure crouching on the fire escape. The grin he shoots you looks more like a grimace when you scramble up from your chair.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” you hiss, flinging it open to be met with the smell of petrichor and mist hitting your cheeks. “What are you- Did you climb up my fire escape? It’s eleven stories!”

Dark hair is plastered to his forehead, his gray sweatshirt nearly black with how much water it’s sucked up. Peter grips the window sill, leaning his inside so you can hear him better. 

“Yes. I need to talk to you.”

“You climbed up eleven stories? Up an old fire escape? In the rain… Just so you could talk to me?”

He nods once without hesitation, eyes wide as he hovers half in and half out. “Yes, yes, and yes.” Once he’s sure that you aren’t going to send him away, he pulls himself inside with ease. “But that’s not the point. The point is, I need to talk to you.”

You’re not quite sure you’re hearing him right. You have to be, because here he is, a puddle of water forming under his high tops and raindrops clinging to his cheeks. 

“So, you climbed-”

“Yes,” he interrupts quietly, eyes determined and stepping closer so you have to look up. “I couldn’t think of another way to see you. I needed to see you. Badly.”

Your mouth falls open to object but you can’t quite figure out what you would be objecting. What were you supposed to do? Send him back out in the rain to trek back down eleven stories and take the humid subway home? You weren’t heartless. 

And it wasn’t like you didn’t want to see him… at least a little bit. 

“Alright, alright,” you concede. As you hurry to the bathroom to get him a towel, you call over your shoulder, “Couldn’t you have- oh, I don’t know… Called?” Peter catches the towel with ease when you return, using it to dry his hair. You drop the other onto the floor and use your foot to soak up the water collecting under him before he stands on top of it. 

He rubs the back of his neck and shoots you a crooked smile. “Sorry.” When he folds over to pull off his sneakers, you nearly flinch at his proximity. At least you manage to hide the action by standing back up and grabbing his shoes. 

“It’s okay,” you sigh softly. It is okay. Just scared you half to death.

Peter slips off his wet hoodie and you take it from him so you can hang it on the shower to dry. His shoes find themselves where they belong on the welcome mat in the entryway. From his spot in the middle of the living room, he inspects your apartment like you had studied his. 

“Nice place,” he says offhandedly as he tries to determine which parts are you and which parts are Katie’s. It’s obvious to him. Anything new and expensive, that’s Katie’s. The furniture that looks a little more used like it was in good condition on facebook marketplace, that’s all you. It’s more than that too. Clearly you both agreed on the eclectic, mid century modern look you’ve managed to cultivate but the things like ‘stacks of books that also act as decor’ scream you. 

You open your mouth to thank him but he clearly isn’t there to discuss the furnishing of your apartment since he cuts you off. “I’m sorry,” he blurts out, eyes burning into yours as you come to a stop. “I just… I needed to see you.”

“It’s okay. What did you, uh, want to talk about?”

Be cool. Be fucking cool or youre gonna look like a total dork in front of him. 

Peter shifts from foot to foot, the words on the tip of his tongue, ready to fall. You come to stop in front of him that still allows for a good amount of space between you. 

“I need to explain. About the other night. And that night, senior year. And eight years ago…” It feels like all of your lives are crammed into the past week. There so much to explain, still fresh even if it all happened so long ago that it should feel like fading scars. 

Your brows furrow but you nod for him to continue. Peter nods back, trying to be less awkward than he normally is when he can’t hide behind a mask. 

“Why is Peter Parker here and why is he drenched?” Katie asks from her bedroom doorway. 

You and Peter’s heads snap in her direction, both of you taking a step away from the other. It certainly doesn’t help either of you seem like you’re not guilty of something. Even if you’re really only talking.

She raises an eyebrow at you when you don’t immediately answer. Thankfully she was less standoffish than she had been in high school since she got to the real world. 

“Because…” you say slowly, glancing at Peter who is no help by the wide eyed look on his face. “He is…”

“Bringing her something… from her moms,” Peter adds, peeking out from behind your shoulder to give her a wave. “Uh, hey Katie.”

Her perfectly manicured brow only raises higher, filled with skepticism. “And it has to be done at ten at night, because you have no free time during the day?”

Peter shifts in place, uncomfortable. Jesus, he was always the worst liar in the entire world. His eyes find the ceiling while his hands bury themselves deep into his front pockets. 

“Yes.” Scowling, or at least attempting to, you grab Peter's arm to drag him down the hall and towards your bedroom. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we will be in here,” you call over your shoulder with a smug look in her direction. Once you practically shove him through the door and out of her sight, you peek your head out the doorway. 

Peter lets himself get pulled and pushed along, awkwardly following his own thoughts. He has a plan; things to say- no. Things to tell you! Important things he has to tell you!

Katie’s eyes drift from you, towards his shoes and jacket that somehow needed to be removed while dropping off something from your mom’. Pink flushes your face and her face only grows smugger while you hiss at her to shut up. 

It’s not that you’re embarrassed to be seen with him in your apartment. You never had been embarrassed by him even though Peter was so sure of it in high school. What embarrassed you was when you’d call out his name in a busy hall and he would give you a tight lipped smile, curt wave, and continue walking. That. That was mortifying. More to yourself than others. 

Katie will tell Flash tonight. Tomorrow morning, they’ll sing-song about you having a crush on him and wondering what time Peter actually left the night before. Your friends will unintentionally make you chase him off before he even has the chance to come back to you.

If… that’s… even what he wants… considering you up and bailed last sunday morning with a stupid note. 

Even after you slam your door, her laughter is loud as she retreats to her room to finish getting ready to meet Flash at the bar. Now, the two of you are alone. His presence is so strong at your back before you slowly turn around. 

“Wait, I’m getting water everywhere,” he says stupidly, stepping off of the rug so he can balance on one foot on the wood floor. While the entirety of what he is wearing is soaked through from his swing here, it's the water coming off the bottom of his pants and his socks that make a mess. 

“Oh shit,” you grimace, rushing to grab something he can change into. It takes some digging but you manage to find a pair of sweats and a shirt that Flash left here from a past movie night. “Here. It’s fine. Really. No harm.” 

The few minutes alone you both have allows you to try and get the panic out of your system. While he tries to remember his little speech, he has to try and pull off the wet fabric sticking to his skin in your bathroom. You pace. Your hands move from shoving your hair off your forehead to running up your face as you try to collect yourself. 

By the time he opens your bedroom door a little too abruptly, you're halting to a stop and trying to look casual. 

When he gets back, hair shoved out of his face with lashes that are still wet, arms looking far too good to belong to the lanky kid he was-

So not the fucking time. Are you insane?

“Sorry about the water. I- I didn’t realize how wet I was,” he says sheepishly and shutting it behind him silently. “Thank you for the clothes. Probably should’ve thought about that before running here in a downpour.”

Suddenly, the sound of silence is just as loud as the rain outside.

Clearing your throat, you cross the room to take his wet clothes from his hands. You toss them in your laundry so you can, at the very least, throw them in your dryer before he leaves. At the very most, you could wash… and dry them… if he intends on staying long enough. “It’s okay- really. It’s water. It’s not a big deal,” you reassure, hoping you sound less dorky than you think you do. 

Guess what, you sound just as dorky as you think you do. 

Peter stands there, unsure of what to say next. He’d come all this way and he wouldn’t let it be for nothing. Forcing down the nerves with a deep breath, he steps closer, his face determined like it had been when he showed up on your fire escape. His fists clench and unclench on his sides so he stops bouncing on his feet. 

“Yeah, I know. I just- well I need to talk to you. Sorry about showing up out of nowhere. I didn’t really…” think through any of my actions and just scaled your apartment building at ten o'clock at night and gave you a heart attack.

“It’s okay.”

You clear your throat again and try to relax. No more apologizing. “What did you want to talk about?” You try to sound casual as you fold your arms over your chest. No, actually you wrap your arms around yourself.

God damn it. He’s doing that thing- not puppy dog eyes exactly, but doe eyes. Big and brown, full of a million questions as he presses his lips into a tight line. You hate when he does that thing. You just hate it because as the two of you got older, anytime he’d done it, it made your face feel hot. 

Peter’s a grown man and he has no clue why the hell he’s still acting like a nervous school boy in front of the girl he likes. 

“I- uhm, I know that I haven’t been there for you at all these last few years– I haven’t been there for you since we were fourteen,” he admits, “and I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

The apology catches you off guard. The shock shows on your face and he rubs the back of his neck. 

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” he argues almost instantly, his brow furrowing as he stares down at you. 

When he opens his mouth to continue, his phone goes off. He reaches into his pocket and glances at it. He stares at that screen, for a little longer than is probably normal, and then looks back up at you with a grimace. 

“That was work. Um. It can wait.” he says awkwardly. Lie. Crime alert at the docks. It can wait. At least a bit. 

You nod slowly and can’t help the confused frown that won’t seem to go away. Work? Why would The Bugle be texting him on a friday night. Well, maybe they do and that isn’t actually a strange event for him. 

Peter’s phone returns to his pocket and he starts over with a long inhale. 

“Would you… would you like to sit? I have things I need to tell you.”

“Uh, yeah. Sure,” you say and gesture to the edge of your bed. He nods slightly, sinking down on the bed next to you. The mattress dips under both of your weight and you angle your body to face him.

Peter says your name, opening his mouth to start his long speech he’d been working on for the past six days since he woke up alone. He’d had so many thoughts eating his brain since he found his bed colt and empty. A beep from his phone makes him lose his train of thought. He ignores it with a shake of his head, turning to face you. 

“I want to be honest with you. About everything that’s been going on the last few years. What I’ve been doing- and why. But I understand if you don’t trust me,” he continues. “But everything feels different this time. Maybe just because we’re both older now.”

“Okay…” you breathe out slowly. When you shift in your spot and clasp your hands together in your lap, he does the same. 

“But it’s a lot of things. From eight years ago, and four years ago. Also from last week. About Fisk and why I took those files, all of it. I owe you answers and- I want to tell you everything.”

Another beep. 

It throws him off his disaster of a speech. Peter shakes his head like he can shake away the part of him swinging around New York. He’s here, not out there. This is where he wants to be.

“I need to tell you the truth,” Peter says. He scoots a little closer to you, reaching for your hands then second guessing himself and letting them card through his hair. “This is going to sound really crazy but I-”

Another beep. He sighs and pulls his phone out, glancing at it quickly. 

Apartment fire over in Brooklyn. Fuck.

“Really have to go.”

He’s already standing and looking for his bag by the time you realize what he’s saying. Your face falls which just makes the guilty look he’s wearing more prominent. “Oh. Right.”

Peter opens his mouth to say something before deciding against it. He can’t just blurt it out and leave. So he decides that he just has to do the leaving part now and the explaining part later. You follow behind him into your living room so he can collect his shoes and bag sitting by the front door. You’ll worry about getting the clothes he borrowed another time when he isn’t itching to get out of here. 

The idea that he’s itching to get away from you makes you chew on the inside of your cheek. 

“I… I really do have to go,” Peter says apologetically, “I mean it. I’m serious. I’ll make it up to you.” You nod slowly and lean against the wall beside him. The reassuring look you give him when he peaks up from tying his sneakers is uncertain. 

“But I promise, I’m going to explain it all. Tomorrow. I promise.”

He’s already backing up towards the window to your fire escape, but you nod. For some reason, it seems like an empty promise. 

“Tomorrow. Yeah.” You hope the words sound more light than they feel getting stuck in your throat. 

You don’t want him to leave. 

Not when something about it feels so final. 

Sounds of rain slamming against the metal stairs and the streets of Manhattan fill the apartment when he opens the window. His backpack is slung over one shoulder, one leg swinging outside. He waits for you to return the tight lipped smile he shoots you before he actually slips outside. 

It isn’t until the window is shut behind him that you realize he chose the fire escape over the elevator… again…

Shaking it off, you chalk it up to whatever in his life that is going on. Not like you know anymore. Not like he actually managed to give you anything but more questions tonight. 

For a long moment you wonder, like you have the past week, if he really is the Peter Parker you once knew. 

Or if Fisk was right. 

If he was someone else entirely. 

⋆ °｡˚🕷˚⋆｡°⋆

summary: oh, yeah. Shit hits the fan again.

ﾟ ⋆ ﾟ ☂︎ ⋆ ﾟ

For a second, you’re sure you’re going to throw up. Your head is spinning and there is a pounding so deep in your skull, it makes you forget who you are. It takes a second to blink the black spots from your vision. It takes another second for you to manage to lift your head up. 

It takes even less time for you to realize that you’re completely fucked. 

There are only a few blurry figures hanging around the abandoned warehouse. Fisk is there, standing off to the side with his back to you. The top of Scar Guy's head is visible over Fisk’s shoulder as they chat. You think it’s Red Hat Goon and the Tattooed Thug from last week smoking cigarettes near a few rows of overturned shelves. 

No one seems to have realized you’re conscious yet. 

Or that you’re at least somewhat conscious and trying to pull yourself the rest of the way there. 

You squeeze your eyes shut again, which helps chase away some of the nausea. At least adrenaline is kicking in quickly, working to ease your headache so you can think. Your wrists are duct taped tightly to the arms of the chair, nearly cutting off the circulation to your fingers and bruising the skin underneath. 

What did you do? What were you doing- bar. You were going to the bar. After Peter bailed, you accepted Flash and Katie's offer to meet them at the bar. It wasn’t like you had other plans anyway. You’d hurried to get ready, changing into a nice outfit, throwing on some makeup, and fixing your hair. Then you were hurrying to the subway… then there was a guy? No. There were two guys- Scar Guy. He showed up. Then a slamming pain on the back of your head and then…

Now you really wanted to throw up.

Scar Guy glances at you, noticing your open eyes and jerking his head in your direction. Fisk turns around with an amused smile. Smoke billows from the cigar in his fingers as he steps into the light.

“What a pleasant surprise,” Fisk says loudly. The other two thugs perk up, now paying attention rather than gossiping or whatever else criminals chat about. You tense in your spot, muscles rigid when Fisk comes to a halt in front of you.

“Pleasure to see you again. Shame it's so soon after our meeting last week.”

The most you can manage is to keep your head hung slightly, looking up at him through your lashes. You give your wrists an experimental tug and wince when the tape cuts into your skin. 

“Why am I here?” Your voice shakes more than you had hoped it would. 

Fisk just shrugs and takes a drag of his cigar, “Oh, a few reasons.” He exhales as he crouches down in front of you. It’s harder to hide your face now and even harder to hide the way your hands shake. 

This clearly isn’t his first rodeo because he knows the exact amount of time to let the silence hang in the air that it becomes suffocating. 

“You see,” Fisk continues with a sigh, “I’d hoped there wouldn’t need to be a repeat of this type of thing again- really, I didn’t. But now, Peter has proven himself to be an issue. I wanted a little reassurance in case he slipped up.”

Your bottom lip trembles and it’s really hard not to cry. At least in the limo last week, you’d had Peter by your side for the most of it, so you managed to keep it together. Right now, you were alone and very, very scared.

“And now here we are,” he says and leans down to blow smoke in your face. Tobacco stings your eyes and you turn your head. It manages to make Red Hat Thug chuckle and nudge Scar Guy who just scowls at him. 

An issue? Did he steal something else? Do something that yet again got him on Fisk’s radar and- fuck. Put you on Fisk’s radar now. 

Not just his radar. Put you in an abandoned warehouse, tied to a chair, and bleeding out of the back of your head. 

“Look, I don’t-“ you start but your voice cracks. You take a shaky breath and start again. “I don’t know anything about this. Whatever he did… I’m sure it was a misunderstanding-”

“Oh, it’s no misunderstanding. Peter stole something very personal of mine. Something I’m unwilling to part with.” Even though his voice is amused, his gaze is cold as he drags the cigar between his lips and stands up to his full height. 

“And in order to… motivate him to return it,” Fisk pauses and lets out another cloud of smoke towards you. “He needs something to protect. Or someone.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Your heart drops all the way into your stomach at the knowledge that he stole something… again. Panic is pressing down on your lungs, filling your mouth and throat. It flows through your veins and is mixed with the congealed blood in your hair at the back of your head. 

You take a few shaky breaths, urging yourself to stay calm. To think. To adapt. 

“But he gave the files back to you.”

The crime boss smirks and the smoke from his cigar fills the space between your face and his. Fisk leans closer, you lean back and duck your head.  “He gave me copies.” He pulls away and his expression is hard and unreadable. 

“So, I’ve taken you as an insurance policy. To prove my point. If he wants to keep stealing my toys, I’ll take his and break them.” Fisk stares at you a long moment before he laughs, “I’d say your life is in Peter’s hands. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Suddenly, you don’t feel brave at all. Quite the opposite. You feel helpless and angry and stupid. Most of all, you’re scared. 

Horribly scared. 

It could be worse- in fact, it could be a lot fucking worse and you don’t doubt that it will be. 

Your eyes well up with tears because you really can’t help it. They follow Fisk as he approaches Scar Guy. There’s a gun tucked in the front of the thugs waistband but there is clearly no concern that he even needs to keep it out. Instead, he digs through your purse. 

“Please. Don’t do this,” you breath out, pressing your lips into a thin line as they tremble. Your eyes are pleading but you manage to keep some semblance of dignity since you’re not begging and crying. 

Fisk cocks his head towards you and raises an eyebrow. “Let me be clear, I’m not here to hurt you. If anything, I’m going to let you go as soon as I have those files. Don’t you worry about that.” 

“Of course, we don’t have the files yet. So if you’re not very cooperative,” Scar Guy grumbles, more distracted with digging out my cell phone, “who knows what could happen.”

You stare at the dirty floor. Hanging your head letting the cement blur in your vision. It doesn’t stop the panic from creeping in. One one hand, you’re panicked for yourself but, you’re also panicked for what’s going to happen when Peter shows up. 

If you try to speak, you think you might actually throw up.

Fisk's thick fingers close around your phone and he seems oddly interested in it as he scrolls through your notifications. 

“Well, look at that,” Fisk chuckles. “A missed call. From Peter. Imagine that, I’m impressed. It’s like he has a sense for this sort of thing.”

Red Hat guy drags a chair over, the sound of the legs scraping against the floor, echoing around the warehouse. With how hard rain is pelting against the metal roof, you know that if you screamed, not a soul would hear it. 

Fisk waves a hand towards you and Scar Guy advances. You flinch when he reaches for your arm but it’s not like you can actually move away. When he pulls out a pocket knife, you don’t care that you're stuck in your spot, lurching in your spot anyway. 

But all he does is cut the tape from your wrists. 

That’s when you finally realize that hurting you isn’t the plan. Not that Fisk won’t. He definitely will. 

But he is here to hurt Peter, and it makes the blood rush in your ears. 

You rub at your wrists, the skin red and faintly purple as you fold in on yourself in the chair. Fisk doesn’t even look up as he sits down a foot away. The only time he does is when he holds up your phone for you to unlock. With a glance between him and Scar Guy, neither of them even look slightly conflicted at the scene playing out like it was straight out of a mafia movie. 

So you comply because you’re helpless. 

That’s the point. 

You’re playing bait. 

“But he’ll definitely come when you call. So, unless you want things to get messy, you’ll let him know you’re in trouble.” Fisk gives you a cold smile and makes a show of pressing the call button. God, why didn’t you just delete his number eight years ago? Why did you put it into your contacts four years ago when you got a new phone but never intended on calling him?

Each ring makes you wince. The sound cuts through the quiet of the warehouse, shrill in your ears as you pray to a god you don’t believe in that Peter won’t pick up. Of course this is all Peter’s fault. None of this would be happening if he stopped managing to steal from Manhattan's biggest crime lords. You’re really mad at him for lying- omitting the truth or whatever he would try and call it. 

Was that what he was going to tell you tonight?

There’s only a few rings before Peter picks up, his voice coming through the speaker phone and making your eyes well with tears. Just the sound of the voice of the dorky kid from across the street makes your shoulders sag in relief  

”Hey,” Peter says breathlessly, the smile evident in his voice. “I was just about to call you. My uh, work thing just ended so… Well,  I didn’t know if you wanted to talk tonight. I said tomorrow- I promised tomorrow but I’m free now. If you are. If you’re free and want to talk.”

The urge to cry grows even stronger when you realize he wants to figure things out. That he still has your phone number or took the time to find it. Somehow, you manage to swallow even though your throat is painfully tight. 

Fisk’s hand clamps down on your shoulder, warning you to play your part. To play the helpless bait, begging for Peter to show up here and save the day. So he will fall right into Fisk’s hands along with the files.

Even though you are feeling more helpless and terrified than you’ve ever felt in your entire life, hearing Peter Parker's voice coming from your cell phone gives you a surge of bravery. When Fisk adds enough pressure on your shoulder to make you wince, you clench your teeth and glare up at him. 

A moment passes, and then another. 

Then, Fisk clicks his tongue. 

“Well,” Fisk chuckles, “I guess I have the wrong number. I hope I didn’t disturb you. If you’re doing something, I’m sure we can talk later.”

The silence fills the space between Peter and Fisk as your heart races. 

“Or we can talk now,” Fisk sighs, delighted in the weighted silence coming from Peter's end. “Probably better turn out for your little friend if we talk now.”

Peter grits out Fisk’s name so quietly that you almost don’t hear it. You probably wouldn’t have if your phone wasn’t being held right in front of you. 

“Let’s cut to the chase. I’ve got your friend but she doesn’t seem to want to talk. How about you come down here and you can ask her yourself how she is doing. I’m sure she’ll have a lot to say if you show up. Maybe she just gets nervous in front of an audience.” Peter goes silent and Fisk’s eyes burn into you, his cruel smile never wavering.

Just then he hears the faint sound of a click. 

You hung up the phone. 

The crime boss’s brow furrows in confusion at the line going dead, Peter’s name disappearing off the screen. Scar Guy makes a face, almost like he’s impressed at the balls you have in a situation like this. Even when you’re sitting there curled in on yourself with your watery eyes glaring at Fisk. 

You are not going to willingly play victim to put Peter in danger. 

“You did something stupid,” Fisk grits out through a sneer. The anger is practically palpable in the air, radiating off of him and white hot. You don’t look away even though his stare makes you want to squirm in your seat. 

Peter's name appears on your phone within seconds. He didn’t hesitate in calling back and he’s probably ready to reach through the speaker and kill Fisk. 

The crime boss inhales slowly through his nose and forces a smile, so tense, it might snap right off his face. “Sorry about that Mr. Parker,” Fisk chuckles as he collects himself. He stares at you for a long moment before turning to Scar Guy and giving him a nod. 

“I swear to god. if you hurt her in any way I will not even flinch as I-“ Peter growls into the phone before Fisk cuts him off. 

“She really is a fiery one, huh? Brave and strong. Refusing to say a word to get you here.”

You barely keep in a yelp when Scar Guy pulls you from the chair by your upper arms. You struggle in his hold, his arm looping around your neck as he easily shoves you down so you're kneeling. The cement skins your knees, stinging and embedding gravel and glass into your skin.

“I’ve got to say,” Fisk continues with an air of nonchalance that’s ironic compared to your fighting. “All she was supposed to do was shed some tears, tell you to get here and she’d remain unharmed.”

You know you brought this- whatever is going to happen- on yourself, but you desperately try to fight anyway.

Your arm is forced into Fisk's hand, the one not occupied by your cell phone. Fisk doesn’t even flinch when you try to wrench it out of his grasp. Scar Guys hold on your shoulders from where he stands at your back, keeping you in your spot. 

“Wanna know how she sounds when I break her arm?” Fisk muses. 

You barely have time to grasp what he’s said when Fisk squeezes; hard. The pain is instant, excruciating under his palm and radiating through your bone. You cry out. The sound is strangled from your lips, eyes squeezed shut long after Fisk lets up some of the pressure. 

Peter goes quiet. He’s frozen at the other end of the line as he listens to you in pain over the phone. There’s silence on the other end until finally, all Peter can manage is calling out your name. 

“Now, are you going to join us, or should we break her other arm too,” Fisk sighs like he’s now only inconvenienced. It seems he just needed to get the anger out of his system to remain collected. 

Then finally, after what seems like a lifetime, Peter speaks clearly, a new emotion in his tone. Rage. 

“Where the fuck are you?” he spits into the phone.

Vaguely, you think you think you can hear Fisk telling Peter where you are. You don’t know, it’s hard to hear over the sound of the blood pounding in the back of your skull in sync with the throbbing in your arm.

“We’re waiting,” Fisk says, and hangs up. 

“He’s coming, isn’t he?” Scar Guy asks like he's bored, his voice is deep and raspy. 

“He’s coming.” Fisk replies. The phone falls to the ground before you do.

[cosmiconix]

Annalicia: Today is my Papa French Fry's birthday! And what better way to celebrate his six hundred & eighth birthday, than to let mom, dad, Grimhilde & Tremaine tell you all the mystical story of how he became the great leader you all know today! So, grab yourselves a blanket & some popcorn, cause we're diving into some history! Take it away guys!!! 😆✨ Hades: *clears throat* So, after falling from Notre Dahm in the year 1482, Frollo's soul got sucked into a powerful vortex that trapped him inside a mysterious, magical sphere. Maleficent: There, he relived his darkest moments in life; stuck on an endless loop of his own demise for twelve, horrendously long years. Tremiane: In the year 1495, on the thirteenth anniversary of his death, Claude Frollo was suddenly released from his nightmarish prison, & left inside a world that was not his own. Grimhilde: From there, he vowed never to return to his old ways, & build himself a better life far away from the rest of the world, where he could never hurt another person again. Hades: But building a life wasn't easy, he had to learn everything on his own with little time to do it, difficult challenges were met at every corner, but Frollo stayed strong, & kept trying his best to adapt to this new world. Maleficent: Within three years, Frollo had built himself a place to call home, & claimed the entirety of this world as his own; however, he discovered he wasn't the only one who'd been trapped in those horrible prisons, he found others, souls who were stuck in their own nightmares, facing Gods know what. Tremaine: He couldn't bear the thought of others feeling the pain that he once felt, so he took it upon himself to free all those who were locked away & grant them the freedom they so desired. Grimhilde: The more people he freed, the stronger the estate became, he designed systems within the growing mansion where those who lived there; could use their skills to support the growing family, he provided them with protection from the elements & supplied them with all that they needed to remain happy & healthy. Hades: He held order within the mansion to keep everyone safe & ensure no harm would come to them under his care, it was Frollo's continuous efforts; that landed him the position as leader of the mansion & of all who lived there, but with so much to be done, he knew he couldn't do it by himself. Maleficent: So, with my assistance, we created the Crowns Party, a leading system of villains who would assist Frollo in caring for the entire estate alongside him, & only a select few were chosen over the years. Annalicia: Can I finish the story? 😄 Hades: Go ahead kid! 👍 Annalicia: To this very day, with the help of Maleficent, Hades, Grimhilde & Tremiane, the mansion & all its residents remain in peace, living happy lives under the watchful eyes of the Crowns Party & its dedicated leader, Claude Frollo! And that everyone, is the story of how Frollo became the leader you all know & love! 😊✨

Maleficent: A leader whose birthday cake still needs to be decorated. Annalicia: OH! RIGHT! I'm on it!!! *dashes away*

[zenythycal]

HEY SO I RARELY DO THIS BUT ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS BEING STALKED AND ACCUSED OF HORRIBLE SHIT SO PLEASE READ!

Toyhouse <- Their call out post

Screenshot for those who don't have it and I will also include a transcript in case it's hard to read! (It'll be under the read more!)

Thank you all for taking time and listening to my friend, I know and trust them. I think it's DISGUSTING to make false accusations like this. As a victim of stalking and grooming myself I am sickened by this persons actions and I hope my friend Adder can finally get away from this. Send them love and support for me!

Also do not harass the person. Last thing we need is more stress, just help spread this around.

Transcript for those who cannot read the screenshot:

"EDIT 1 : STOP stalking my account. I am not the one reaching out to you. If I want to warn my friends, I can do so In peace. 

Hi yall. this is directed towards the pressure community mainly, but I do encourage anyone who sees this to steer away quickly as possible. 

before we dive in, i am professionally diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) from these events, I relive them almost daily. Back in June, as you all have seen on my bulletins, shorelinesiren, known as JD, Jacob, whatever, made a callout post on me, calling me a pedophile and a groomer. I have cleared my name, but the damage is still there to this day. (as of 9/12/24) I am neither, as I was groomed myself when I was a younger teenager. Its also worth mentioning that I voluntarily when into a psychiatric hospital to get better. Jacob released the callout post while I was still in the hospital, recovering, unable to DEFEND myself. He made the callout post to roughly 3k people, through his now defunct avatar discord server and his also defunct instagram. 

My relationship with jacob was strictly monetary as he used me for money. He managed to get me to spend $300USD in ONE MONTH on his adopts, art, and merchandise on his Etsy store. While Jacob ran his Etsy store, He had stickers made for Palestine, which all profit would go to charities/reliefs/supports. I have never seen a receipt of his donations, In dms or the 2 servers we had.  Since then, he's moved accounts 3 times and deleted his 2 avatar servers. Jacob has shit talked his "closest" friends, his brother, and server members to me. While we were friends we used to shit talk server members, mainly 3 people. Danny, Rose, And Teylu. Jacob had said disgusting things about his so called friends, calling them names, talking about how needy or annoying they were and especially how much Danny and Rose were dick riders. Specifically how Danny would suck up to each admin/mod, and How Rose was annoying, opinionated, and how she would constantly ask for admin/mod privileges. Teylu got the worst of it, as they were described constantly as weird, annoying and a beggar.  As for me, I conformed to fit in with Jacob's group. I always have felt it was never a genuine friendship. I've always had the sneaking suspicion that he talked about me behind my back to his friends, while I wasn't around. Only now I feel I can confirm it, since I have found out he stalks my page, and my other friend's page, as well as their partner's.  (I only recently posted about him again since I found out from a friend that he was using my art without crediting me.)

Jacob has a cult like following. Anyone following him is willing to defend him no matter what. He stalks my instagram account through his admin/mod team. I only know about this because when I posted on my story about him not properly crediting me and essentially saying "Jacob I know you can see this, you need to credit me for my art, even if commissioned" He then deleted the art from one of his character's profile, instead of crediting me.

 After that, I had an EXTREMELY toxic altercation with one of his followers, who I'm assuming has a parasocial relationship with him outside of commissions. I also encourage you to stay away from this user, Mothbone_s, who had dmed me back in June when the original post was made and said ; "You're 19 dude grow tf up you're continuing drama no one else cares about like a fucking child." I responded (huge mistake), calling them a glazer, and got back 3 PARAGRAPHS. Mothbone_s had to say "womp womp your a grown ass adult who thinks harassing a minor so long that said minor is an adult now and doesn't give a fuck about you is embarassing Ghost." cont 1, "No one actually gives a fuck you the way you think, we could actually give less of a fuck if you curled up and died right now because we least wouldn't have to deal with you continuing old shit everyone has moved on from" cont 2. "you aren't hot shit, you ain't scary mf, you're just some internet goon with no job, no life and an unhealthy desire for control and attention. now that your not getting it back your trying to take it back yo again in some miserable attempt to make a statement when all your doing is looking like a fucking idiot" cont. 3 "you ever dm me again i'll tell you straight up about how i actually feel about you, you pathetic piece of shit. go be a creep somewhere else and stop thinks harassing the enemies you made by being a fucking lunatic" and replied to the me telling them to mind their own business like an actual adult. cont 4, "if you were an actual adult you'd grow the fuck up and stop dwelling on shit from June" cont. 5, "like, you're a proshipper, you're a dirty pedophile who enjoys little kids and beastiality" cont. 6, "nothing you say is gonna scare me, bitch you ain't scary. you're a zoophile a pedo and a groomer" CONT. 7, "you ain't the big dog bitch so dont lil sis me". 

I have never interacted with this user before. I don't even remember who they are LOL.  Goes to show how toxic Jacob's fanbase is. Makes me wonder if Mothbone_s is projecting. but anyway, It's important to me that you all stay safe and stay far AWAY from both of these people, so you don't hurt like I have.

Moving onto a different topic, Jacob has also plagiarized names and fanclans. My mutual, Donquixotte, has had their original gator fanclan plagiarized. There was no direct changes, everything was almost identical. From the coloring of characters, down to the design of the body and attributes. everything was the same. Jacob has taken so much from other people, I wouldn't even call it inspiration. 

To the pressure community, as well as JC'S AVATAR community, please please PLEASE, steer away from these individuals. They are severely wrapped up in their own delusions. 

Be safe. 

Adder"

[liyatime]

💭 . . . " THE ' OLDEN DAYS " . . 📦 .

📦 pairing ; non idol au ! yang jeongin x male reader

📦 genre ; angst

📦 cw ; death , cursing , jeongin was born in 1990 , jeongin is 33 (in 2023)

📦 music ; “in a good way” - faye webster “good looking” - suki waterhouse

the pattering of bare feet could be heard across the hard wooden floors of jeongin's house as he was sitting on the couch of his living room watching tv and sipping coffee from his white mug in his pajamas.

“dad ! dad !” two loud voices called. jeongin perked up , turning his attention to his 2 twin daughters , chae-yeon and chae-young , they had his black (?) hair and brown eyes. they ran into the living room with an old photo album , sitting in front of their father. “not so loud.. you'll wake your mother.” he scolded. “alright,” chae-yeon started , “but dad , we found your old photo book!” she said , holding up a page full of old memories. jeongin put down his coffee mug and took the book as the girls sat beside him on the couch with huge smiles. “wah.. this was so long ago..” jeongin said , running his hand over the plastic protecting the images and polaroids.

he flipped through the pages , reliving every memory he had. “this is when me and your mom were in college—” “this was our first date—” “this was during our school festival—” jeongin went on and on about his younger days , eventually flipping on a page that was full of polaroids and camera printed images of him and his old friends.

“this was in college too.” said , "isn't that uncle minho?" chae-young said , pointing to a picture of her father and minho , “yes.. this was when i was in my early twenties! me , uncle minho , and uncle jisung used to hang out by the han river in hangang park nearly everyday after school.” jeongin said , a big smile on his face.

“dad ,” chae-yeon said , “who's this?” she said , pointing at a picture of jeongin and a man with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes. “that's.. an old friend.” he said in a lower voice , his smile got smaller each second he looked at the picture. “why don't we see him?” chae-young asked , an unknowing smile on her face as she looked at multiple pictures of the man and her father , "yeah , you guys have a lot of pictures together!" chae-yeon added. “he moved away.” jeongin said with a nervous smile. “aww.. he's so handsome too!” chae-yeon said , her sister swatting her in the back of her head. “ah! what!?” she whined , rubbing the back of her head , “he's dad's age now! that's disgusting!” chae-young said, chae-yeon pouted and stayed quiet.

“anyways dad , how'd you meet him?” chae-young asked. “we went to the same highschool , but i met him at uncle changbin's father's ramyeon shop.” jeongin answered , putting the photo album on the table and sitting back on the couch. “what year was it? 2007? yeah , in 2007 i met him at the ramyeon shop , we were both 17.” “what's his name?” chae-yeon asked , “(m/n).” jeongin said “uncle (m/n)~” chae-young sang , flipping through more of their pictures , “more like oppa (m/n)~” chae-yeon said , chae-young held her fist up and sucked her teeth. “ah , why!” chae-yeon said , pouting again and holding her legs up to her chest. the girls settled down and jeongin laughed before continuing his story.

“when we were in mr. seo's ramyeon shop , we ordered the same thing at the same time , how cliche is that?” jeongin said , “like a k-drama!” chae-yeon exclaimed , “yes, like a drama.. after that we sat down together and talked for a while , not about much , just introduced ourselves and exchanged numbers.” jeongin added , reminiscing.

—

jeongin was outside of mr. seo's ramyeon shop , awkwardly standing there in his SOPA uniform , one hand was on the strap of his backpack and the other holding onto his iphone 1. he was constantly checking the time , his friend minho was supposed to show up 6 minutes ago but he never came. jeongin was a shy person , an introvert , so minho was always with him , he was his voice when he couldn't speak for himself.

after 2 more minutes of waiting for minho , jeongin decided to just go in the shop , order his own food , and wait for minho to get there. when he walked up to the front counter a boy walked on the side of him , jeongin didn't think much of it , so he just told the cashier his order ,

“can i get one bowl of ramyeon?—”

“can i get one bowl of ramyeon?”

the two boys stood there looking at each other awkwardly , and the cashier got confused and put the orders in the same order , thinking they were together (not like that). “ please take a seat at table #4, we'll bring your food to you.” the cashier said , pointing at the table. “ah— wait..” jeongin said in a low voice , the cashier had walked away for a moment to handle some business and the two boys were left there dumbfounded.

the boy was the first to move to table #4 , and jeongin followed soon after. they sat at the table in silence until jeongin spoke up , “im yang jeongin..” he said , playing with his hands under the table nervously. “i'm (l/n) (m/n) , how old are you?” jeongin was taken aback by the question but answered nevertheless , “17—” “i'm older than you!” (m/n) exclaimed with a huge smile on his face , “ah.. sorry for speaking informally..” jeongin said , bowing. (m/n) stretched over the table and put his hand on jeongin's shoulder , “it's fine! let's speak casually.” he said.

the boys went on to talk for a whole hour until jeongin's phone buzzed , he took it out his pocket and looked at it while slurping his noodles.

( "minho" "I'm sorry, Jeongin. I can't go to the ramen shop today.. OTL" )

jeongin sighed , putting his phone back in his pocket and standing up from his seat and leaving money on the table for the bill , “hm? where are you going?” (m/n) asked , also standing up. “oh , i have to go.. i was supposed to be here with a friend but he bailed , i might as well go home now.” jeongin said , giving a sad smile. he picked up his backpack from the seat next to him , putting it on his back , “bye (m/n)—” “wait!” (m/n) interrupted , “my number.. put it in your phone later , and call me when you get lonely.” he insisted, holding out a piece of paper with his phone number on it , smiling . “sure.. seeya (m/n).” jeongin said , taking the slip of paper and walking out the restaurant, waving towards (m/n).

(m/n) sat back in his chair , breathing in and out while clutching his shirt. “shit.. he was cute.” he said , getting back up and leaving the shop , but not before bowing towards the staff.

from then on , jeongin and (m/n) met up from time to time , and from time to time turned into every day after school. they hung out at night usually , grabbing snacks from a convenience store and sitting on a park bench to eat it to making out in (m/n)'s car in the middle of the woods.

(m/n) really brought jeongin out of his shell , he became more sociable and could speak up for himself more than before. no matter how many friends jeongin had , (m/n) was always his special someone. but of course— jeongin couldn't tell his kids this , they promised to tell nobody , it was their little secret.

—

“so— he was your best friend?” chae-young asked , “yeah , essentially.” jeongin said. his eyes glanced at the clock above the tv and he got off the couch , “girls , it's past bedtime , put the photobook up and head to bed , alright?” he said , walking into him and his wife's room. “yes!” the girls shouted , running off.

jeongin's wife was already fast asleep , so he just crawled into bed , pulling the covers up and laying on his side , staring into the white wall in front of him. it was quiet and jeongin didn't like it , so he closed his eyes and stayed as still as possible , letting his consciousness send him to sleep.

—

(m/n) and jeongin were sitting in his bed at his housde , holding each other's hands as they made out , tongues gliding against each other. jeongin started to take off his shirt and (m/n) took notice , helping him take it off. this continued for a while , the intimacy was overwhelming.

“boys! would you like som— MY GOD!” (m/n)'s mother opened the door , she was holding a tray of juice and a plate of cookies but it crashed to the ground. the boys turned their head to the door , and everyone was frozen in place. jeongin with his shirt off , (m/n) helping him , and (m/n)'s mother at the door frame , holding her hands to her mouth in shock.

she slammed the door shut and (m/n) threw himself off the bed and out the door , chasing after his mother. jeongin sat still on the bed , quietly collected his shirt and backpack , put them on and made his way out of the room. (m/n) and his mother were arguing , she was screaming at him and he was stuttering trying to explain himself. jeongin walked up to them and bowed at (m/n)'s mother before exiting the house , making his way to his home , embarrassed at the situation. he had no intentions of going back to (m/n)'s house after that embarrassment. (m/n) called his name from his house but jeongin was already halfway down the street at that point , he didn't turn to call back or walk back.

(m/n) and jeongin stopped seeing each other for a couple days until jeongin texted him , asking him to meet up at hangang park. when (m/n) made it there , jeongin was sitting on a bench , drinking a can of coffee that he got from a vending machine. (m/n) sat beside him and sat there quietly , looking at the atmosphere , the dogs , children playing and families in picnic's. “sorry.” he said , jeongin turning to him. “it's alright , i just left 'cause i was embarrassed.” (m/n) nodded. it was awkward. “i dont think i'll be going to your house again.. but your welcome to come to mine.” jeongin said , taking a swig from his coffee. “thanks.” (m/n) replied.

the couple shared happiness and more through their adolescent years , kisses , hugs , and bowls of ramyeon from mr. seo's shop. they even shared an apartment together. during their first years of college they bought an apartment together with their shared assets. their college days were busy , so busy infact that they stopped seeing each other for days on end to get work done. it caused a split in their relationship and there was no thread left to sow it back together.

it was no surprise that jeongin brought up the idea of breaking up with (m/n) , to which he objected.

(m/n) and jeongin were sitting on a beach , it was dark out and the sea smell filled their lungs. they were sitting side by side , (m/n)'s hand on jeongin's thigh, traveling upwards. "what are you doing.." jeongin asked , scooting. "feeling you up. what's wrong with that? i usually do it—" "not today (m/n)." jeongin interrupted , (m/n) looked at him like he was weird but said nothing. "i think we should take some time off." jeongin blurted. "time off of what?—' "this relationship" he said , (m/n) scrambled to his feet , the sand getting in-between his toes. "for what? were doing just fine!" he exclaimed. "were really not , (m/n)". jeongin said , getting onto his feet and crossing his arms. "we barely see each other , and it's getting uncomfortable living with you. i feel like were strangers." he admitted.

"then we can start seeing each other more!—" "NO!" jeongin hollered. "it's not that simple! that's hard for me (m/n)!" "how is it hard for you!?" they continued to argue , walking all across the beach and even near the sidewalk , (m/n) walked a little too far onto the road , and jeongin started hollering for him to move out of the way. but (m/n) walked with his ears covered and eyes closed like some idiot. "(M/N)! MOVE!" jeongin shouted. (m/n) couldn't hear him and stepped onto the road—

BAM !

—

"(M/N!)" jeongin shouted as he shot up from the bed , panting heavily. his wife awoke and began to ask him what's wrong , comforting him. jeongin pushed her arm away and went to the kitchen for some water. he grabbed a glass and turned on the faucet , letting the water flow into the cup , taking a sip.

jeongin put down his water and leaned against the counter , cupping his face. "fuck.." he said , ruffling his hair and emptying the cup into the drain , putting it into the sink.

he returned back to his bedroom to see his wife already asleep with a worried look on her face , he paid her no mind and just closed the door and got into bed. he laid there staring at the ceiling , listening to the clock from the living room tick.

tick. tick. tick. tick.

jeongin closed his eyes. trying not to let his memories relapse , he just wanted to sleep. to forget about (m/n).. but how could he? it was his fault he was dead. the truck hit (m/n) and it was his fault.

—

it was the day of (m/n)'s funeral , (m/n)'s mother was standing by his portrait , he had many guests coming to visit him. and of course , jeongin was there in his black tuxedo. he paid his respect and left the room quietly , going outside to sit on the steps. after a while of sitting there quietly , (m/n)'s mother came to sit right beside him , jeongin bowed towards her and they began to talk.

"he was a good man.. wasn't he? he was a little pushy but he was a good man.. that damned truck driver.." she said , tears flowing from her (e/c) eyes. jeongin patted her on the back ,

"yeah.. he was a good man."

a/n ; spent 3+ days in this bcuz writing is difficult ! i hope you guys enjoy it !

[jwirecs]

RECOMMENDED SEVENTEEN FICS OF AUGUST 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my recs for seventeen for august! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Dare You || @dontflailmenow🔞💕✅💯

↳ One dare. One night. One creepy, people-died-here, dilapidated house. Two reluctant explorers. Of course it’s Halloween.

Keep It Quiet || @jaemified🔞💕✅💯

↳ you and seungcheol never liked taking risks, especially with 8 of his 12 roommates home. but, up until your self control couldn’t handle it anymore, you both found it was best to keep it quiet.

Laundry Room || @ikigaisvt🔞💕✅

↳ in which your husband is really good at cleaning - and he looks hot doing so.

Taking Care of Their S/O having Foot Pain From Their Heels || @wheeboo💕✅

↳ Anon Req: heyy there! your blog is amazing <3 i recently went to a party and wore a new pair of very uncomfortable 4in heels for like five to six hours ( ended up getting cuts and blisters :’)) so may I request svt members reacting to s/o who tortured their feet in heels for a party? tysm<3 

Your Cherry Flavored Kisses || @hannyoontify💕✅

↳ as his mom always said, kisses are the best kind of medicine for boo-boos

I Hate U, I Love U || @wonusite🔞💕💔✅

↳ After finally managing to escape the lifelong rivalry you once had with Yoon Jeonghan, you’re unexpectedly thrown back into the undesirable feud after receiving a scholarship to the most prestigious private school in the city. Despite your attempts to leave the past in the past, you discover too late that you’re the only one interested in letting the vendetta go. Years later, there’s a switch in dynamic when you’re the one unwilling to let it go.

The Very First Night || @shuadrive💕💔✅

↳ the search for a new place to live takes a turn for the worse when the only person willing to split rent with you is your ex-boyfriend.

Close Proximity || @chilligyu💕💔✅

↳ when she first met mingyu, she didn’t know what to expect. she was desperate for a roommate, he needed a place to stay. they were exactly what the other needed, in more ways than one.

Contusion Confusion || @seungkwansphd💕💔✅

↳ your clumsy lab partner left a bruise on you. seungcheol seems disproportionately upset by it, but it makes way more sense once you understand why.

Jihoon's Puppy || @rubyreduji💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ jihoon can’t seem to shake the puppy dog who keeps following him around or the teasing he gets for it

Kidult || @hoeforhao💕💔✅💯

↳ can trying to relive the childhood you never got to experience, through your daughter be the reason of your husband's irk?

Real Eyes, Fake Lies || @wooataes💕💔🔄💯

↳ What do you do when you find out the one person that was created by the universe to be yours doesn’t want you back?

Willow || @wongyuuu💕💔✅

↳ seungcheol always knew that he was going to marry you, but things only get harder once he does (or in which seungcheol is just really dumb and doesn't know how to show his feelings)

Your Games Suck: Next Level || @onlymingyus🔞✅💯💯

↳ (no summary but just think, wonwoo and seungcheol???. yes please.)

I'm Dating Woozi || @jihoonotes💕✅

↳ y/n is in a public relationship w/ woozi of SVTZ and decides to make a twitter acc to support jihoon, but SVTZ fans seem to think they're delusional.

Pang! || @kkumawrites💕💔✅

↳ You'd consider yourself a simple college student, a freshman who just wants to survive their first year - but things get complicated when you're suddenly falling for someone you definitely shouldn't be, especially since he has a girlfriend already.

Yearning || @jihoonotes💕💔✅💯

↳ for yn it was love at first sight, but for jihoon it was annoyed at first sight.. oops?

[Tales From The Pack] Soonyoung: Imperfect || @gamerwoo🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ Soonyoung has always been desperate to find his mate, often going out into town at night to fill the void of imprinting that he craves so much. Then suddenly, you (quite literally) appear in front of him. He’d always dreamed and fantasized about what having his mate would be like, but the reality is nothing like he expected.

Do check out all of the other seventeen fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **