#super stressed about that and this is all hitting me harder

[hxhhasmysoul]

i’m not okay. the fic i wrote yesterday and still have to edit is making me super sad.

the latest jjk update is making me anxious and worried where the story is going. was all this build up for naught? i mean i liked the idea of yuuji never becoming super strong, always being support, part of the team. i really wanted him to never get a power up again. but this makes him insignificant. it was always meant to be megumi? i mean to be fair, i’ve always seen him as the main character or one on par with yuuji because megumi is the first one to show in the manga. and he’s always been the far stronger character than yuuji. but with all the buildup... why is sukuna holding onto megumi’s face and shape? does he want to? or was the fanbook bs? just off handed comments? something gege considered early on but dropped? kenjaku said that sukuna can choose his vessel. so it felt significant that he was trapped in yuuji. that it would be a thing for him to get out. but it’s not. he just waited till megumi what? megumi had already developed his domain expansion months earlier. did he wait for gojou to get sealed? that happened again weeks earlier. is the energy accumulated by the culling game something sukuna wants to take for himself? does he want the merged consciousness for himself? maybe. sukuna has already defeated general mahoraga, does it mean he can summon it now that he merged with megumi?

i’m not okay.

[sutorus]

HEART SHAKER

PAIRING: gojo satoru x reader

WC: ~1k

WARNINGS: established relationship, suggestive language, flirting, attempts at humor. fluff, somehow.

A/N: super freaking unedited i just had to get this out bc i can’t believe it’s not smut LOL

“god, you’re squeezing me so hard, sweetheart.”

you look up through your eyelashes at your boyfriend, brows set low in a warning. he only smirks. 

you pump harder. 

“oh fuck, it’s so tight right now.”

you huff in annoyance, slapping both hands down on your legs. 

“can you stop? i lost count!”

satoru laughs at you, throwing his head back. 

you cringe at how loud his movements sound in your ears, the stethoscope you were using still pressed to his skin. 

you release the pressure on the cuff around his arm, sighing deeply. 

“once again, i’m going to ask you,” you enunciate the words slowly, your eyes aiming at his, right behind that blindfold. “why don’t you have shoko do this?”

you’re sure if it were her measuring his blood pressure she could get actual accurate results. 

satoru tilts his head, smiling sweetly. 

“and why would i do that?” he singsongs. “you’re the prettiest little doctor around.”

“resident,” you correct him. 

you wish so badly that he was due for a vaccine or something, just so you would have an excuse to stab him. 

of course, you weren't complaining. you’re incredibly lucky that shoko took you under her wing once you got a job at the school. you weren’t able to master reverse cursed technique at her level quite yet, but you were just as good of a regular doctor as she was. 

it didn’t matter how good you were though, because you weren’t a pediatrician or a saint, and it takes one of either to deal with gojo satoru as a patient. 

“why do we even bother with check ups?” he asks, leaning back on the exam table. “i am literally healing my body twenty-four-seven.”

you roll your eyes, grabbing the light test hammer. 

“what kind of question is that? sit up straight,” you shuffle on your chair, getting in between his too-spread legs. whore. 

satoru shrugs, kicking his dangling feet. “a valid one.”

you bring the hammer down hard on his knee to check his reflexes. naturally, it stops just shy of his leg. 

you don’t even have to look. you know he’s smirking again. 

“turn infinity off.”

“‘turn infinity off’? you’re so cute,” he replies. you try to hit him with the hammer again to no avail. “i need to teach you some combat skills, girl.”

“and i need to examine you,” you get up off your seat, facing him. satoru leans in with a grin. “behave.”

he won’t. 

“wanna play doctor?” 

you ignore his voice and the obvious glee in it, a retort dying on your tongue because you do actually have to carry out a check up, to the best of your abilities. 

grabbing your clipboard, you skim through his most recent health assessment records.

he complained about a migraine to shoko. 

it makes your heart seize for just a moment, to think of all the stress satoru puts himself through to have his technique active at all times. 

“how’s your head?” you ask him. 

“you tell me,” his foot grazes the back of your knee, coaxing you closer. “any complaints?”

a dissatisfied sound comes out of your mouth as you press your hands to his chest instinctively, forcing distance between you two. 

“satoru, please.”

“do you worry, baby?” he reaches out to tentatively hold the side of your face. “don’t worry about me.”

“it’s literally my job,” you trail off, head dropping. 

satoru lifts your chin up and presses his lips to yours for a second or two. 

“sorry, sorry,” he says before you can chastise him. “couldn’t help it. you look so cute all worked up.”

at this point you just twist your lips disapprovingly, putting the stethoscope earpieces back on. 

you press it to his chest and listen as he breathes in and out. 

“satoru,” you frown. “are you okay?”

“hmm?”

you look at him knowingly, a smirk of your own blooming on your face. 

“why is your heart beating so fast?”

at that, your awful, awful boyfriend finally has the decency to blush. 

“and you’re breathing so hard, too—“

“it’s hard, alright—“

“—we might have to schedule some follow up exams,” you click your pen to fill out the form, neglecting the way he leans into you. 

“anytime,” he huffs out, breath skirting on your face where you stand between his knees. “do i get a lollipop for being such a good boy?”

“no,” you reply, taking a step forward. “but you can have this.”

you plant a kiss on his lips, letting it linger for longer than it should as he holds your hips tightly.

he hums contentedly when you pull away.

“mm, smart and generous,” satoru noses your jawline. “how did i get so lucky?”

you fight the sudden shyness rising up at his words.

“the same way i got so unlucky,” you smile at his pout. “life’s just not fair.”

he coos.

“you sweettalk all your patients or am i special?”

despite your best efforts not to, you grin at that.

“the most special,” you say, interlocking your fingers. “now get back to work.”

satoru grumbles a complaint but hops off the table nonetheless.

“thanks a bunch for seeing me, doc,” he leans down to hover his face right above yours. you push him away with a fingertip to his forehead.

“no problem. now shoo.”

you walk up to your desk to hopefully do some actual work now that your most special patient is leaving.

“ah, but i was wondering—“

“yes?” you don’t bother looking up from your paperwork.

“if you could give me some anatomy lessons sometime—“

“out!”

he slips out the door before you can turn around to see it.

you take a deep breath.

you love satoru to death, but you’re beginning to understand why shoko picked up smoking as a stress reliever.

[freshlove-sturn]

texts w bsf!chris

<- previous, part 5, next ->

contains: suggestive, mutual pining, fem reader

“you decent?” chris asks through a series of knocks.

“yep.“ i call out. chris opens the door and shuts it behind him, walking over to the door of his bed and sitting down.

“so, what do you need help with?” he asks, glancing at the clothes i have scattered about his floor and bed.

“okay so i know for sure i want to wear these pants, but i don’t know which shirt to wear. but also i brought this dress and it’s super cute.” i hold up the options to chris.

he studies them for a second, then speaks. “the shirt on the left is sick, but i also really like the dress. ultimately up to you though.” he remarks, giving all the options a second glance.

“chris you know i hate making decisions.” i groan.

“you’ll look good in either one, i promise. no need to stress about it too much.” he reassures me.

“how fancy is this restaurant? are these even at par?” i question, feeling incredibly unsure. the last thing i wanted to do was show up and stick out like a sore thumb.

“what you have is perfect. don’t worry about it.” he assures me confidently.

i look at the two options that have been narrowed down and glance back over your chris, he immediately shakes his head, knowing exactly was i was about to say.

“i’m not going to tell you what to wear, kid. wear whatever you want” he leans lays down on the bed, putting his arms behind his head.

“can i try them on for you?” i suggest.

“sure.” chris shrugs. he gets up to leave the room and i stop him.

“you don’t have to leave, just turn around and close your eyes.” i tell him.

chris nods before asking me if i was sure. i ensure him that it’s okay, and he faces the wall.

i take off my shirt, careful to not mess up my hair and makeup, and slip the contending shirt on over my head.

“alright, i’m ready” i tell him and he turns around.

he takes in every ounce of my figure, looking me up and down a few times before speaking, i give him a slight spin and he chuckles.

“that’s a good one, i like it.” he says with a grin.

“okay, next one.” i smile, anticipation evident in my voice. he spins back around.

there honestly wasn’t much that i loved more than hearing chris’s praises. his compliments always mean more and hit harder than anyone else’s.

but that’s just because i value his opinion the most. after all, he is my best friend.

nothing more.

i take the shirt off, being shirt to drop it with enough force that chris knows it’s off, as well as my pants. i slip the dress on, taking a quick look at myself in the mirror before telling chris to turn around. it hugged me in all the right places. accentuating my curves perfectly, stopping at mid thigh.

“alright, you can turn around.” i tell him.

he turns around and his eyes immediately widen. he blows out a deep breath, and whistles, smirking.

“i know i said i wasn’t going to tell you what to wear, but that’s definitely the one.” he admires the dress. “but that’s just a strong suggestion.”

a smile pulls at the corners of my mouth and i feel a heat grow in my cheeks and i pray my makeup hides the inevitable flush of bright red.

“give me a spin.” chris spins his finger in a circular motion.

i spin around, the fabric flowing gracefully. the air around us fills with our laughter, as well as an unfamiliar feeling.

when i stop spinning, i catch chris’s gaze. he smiles and stands up from the bed, taking a few steps toward me.

his hand comes up and tucks a piece of hair that had fallen in my face behind my ear. “you look beautiful.” he murmurs softly, as if to be testing the waters.

“thanks chris.” i reply softly, my voice barely above a whisper as our eyes stay trained on each other.

“we should probably get going, matt and nick are probably getting pissed.” he laughs, the light hearted joking easing the tension that had fallen between us.

“you’re probably right. you sure this looks okay?” i knew the answer, i just wanted to hear him say it one more time.

“you look amazing, y/n.” he smiles down at me. shaking his head at my persistence.

“mhm, and what else?” i tease.

“if i tell you everything else i think about you right now, matt and nick will come and drag us out by our ears.” he laughs.

with that, we hurriedly walk upstairs. matt and nick immediately make eye contact with us, clearly annoyed.

“are you ready to go or do you need five more minutes to flirt some more?” nick asks, his voice laced with annoyance.

“five more minutes would be great actually.” chris eggs him on.

“we’re leaving. come on. our reservation’s at 6” matt shakes his keys at us.

taglist: @pouring-rains @sarosfilms @sassysturniolo2008 @oliviasturniolo21 @le4hsblog

[moonstruckme]

hi! I loved your fic with reader and sirius in a situationship and he comes over for a hookup and reader is super stressed and he helps. Can you please do another one with that dynamic? Maybe angst where they’re hanging out at a party and Sirius is all over reader but then says they’re just friends? Possibly smut ensues 👀

I love reading you work!!

Thanks for requesting!

cw: smut mdni, p in v, semi-public sex, hurt no comfort

fwb!Sirius x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words

“Shh.” Sirius nips at your earlobe, eliciting another half-suppressed mewl from you as he presses you into the wall next to James’ shower. “You want everyone here to know what’s going on? James’ll have a field day.” 

“He’s already gonna know if I walk out all marked up.” 

“S’not my fault, is it?” he hisses, fingertips digging into your ass as his teeth scrape across your pulse point. “Why’d you have to wear this fucking dress, huh?” 

 “No idea what you’re talking about,” you pant, but you’re laughing, tits bouncing almost completely out of the tight bodice as he thrusts into you, the lace lining barely covering your peaked nipples. Sirius’ eyes had gone nearly all black when he’d seen it in your closet. Dollface, when did you get this pretty little thing? You’ve been waiting for the opportunity to undo him with it ever since. 

Part of you wonders if he’d had a similar plan tonight. Sirius is wearing—or, well, he had been wearing—the black jeans you’d helped him thrift last weekend, slung low over his hips and paired with a tank top that shows ample expanses of his inked-up torso and arms. He’d watched as you drank the outfit in, and the pretense of socializing at James’ party hadn’t lasted long before he’d drug you into the bathroom by your elbow. 

Sirius shifts, pushing you harder against the wall as he takes your weight with one hand, freeing the other to paw at your boob. It plops readily out of its confines and into his palm. You moan as his thumb brushes your nipple, ducking your head to smother the sound against his shoulder. 

You start kissing the tattoo there a second before he finds the spot he’s been searching for inside you and your head lolls back. Your hands spread over his shoulders to ensure you don’t topple over, lightheaded and cock-addled. 

“Easy, pretty girl.” Sirius’ tone is smug, his hands coming back to your ass as he hits that spot over and over again. He presses his lips to yours sweetly, swallowing your sounds. “I know you didn’t have that much to drink, try to stay upright for me.” 

Pathetically, it warms your heart to think that he’d been keeping an eye on you. You use what leverage you have against the wall to grind your hips into him. Sirius groans, pounding into you so hard you think you must ascend, your vision all starry and wild as pleasure shoots out from your core, tingling all the way to your fingertips. 

Distantly, you’re aware of Sirius covering your mouth with his again, thrusting into you a few more times before he comes too and bites down on your bottom lip as his grip tightens on you. Your chest hurts. You feel almost like you could cry, which is new. You both stay there for a minute, him relaxing his hold on your ass until it’s a bit kinder and you idly pulling a strand of his hair through your fingers, until Sirius breaks the kiss. His eyes meet yours, the color of heavy clouds, and you have the sense that he’s peeling you like a tangerine. Seeing down to your hidden, squishy bits. 

“You alright?” he asks you. 

You swallow. “Yeah,” you say, pleased to find that your voice holds no trace of the emotion spreading like a blight behind your sternum. “You?” 

Sirius’ lips tilt. “I’m fantastic, dollface.” 

He adjusts his grip on you, letting you get your legs underneath you before lowering you to the floor. Your panties bunch around one shoe, getting slick on your ankle. 

“Ugh,” you sigh, sitting down on the lip of the tub while Sirius takes his condom off. “Can you pass me some toilet paper? I can’t put these back on like this.” 

“Just throw them out.” 

“I can’t, I really like these.” You start to reach for the toilet paper on your own and Sirius finally obliges, passing you a wad. “Thanks.”

He tugs his jeans back up, buttoning them before leaning on the wall to watch you. You keep your focus on your task and not on ogling how his biceps bulge when he crosses his arms like that. “I can just get you another pair,” he says. 

“You don’t need to do that.” 

“Oh, come on.” His tone takes on a familiar quality. You look up, and sure enough, he’s smirking down at you. The expression does things to your stomach you can never let him find out about. “I’m the one who ruined ‘em in the first place, aren’t I? Let me make it up to you.”

You would say it’s been sufficiently made up, but you only shake your head, folding the toilet paper over to a dry part. “I’m not throwing them out. I just need a minute, then I can put them back on.” 

“Suit yourself, darling.” Something in you flutters at the pet name, but then Sirius pushes off the wall. “I’m gonna head out, get back out there so nobody sees us leave together.” 

You keep your gaze downward. “Good idea.” 

You notice him flash you a smile in your periphery. Even without really seeing it, you can guess what it looks like: flirty, impersonal. “See you out there.” 

He opens the door, and you see only a flash of light brown hair before he’s slipping out and shutting it behind him, shielding you from view. 

“Hello,” Remus’ voice says slowly. He must’ve just been passing by, but if the extended occupation of the bathroom hadn’t caught his attention, Sirius’ hasty exit certainly has. “Don’t suppose I need to ask where you’ve been.” 

“That,” you hear Sirius say in his jovial way, “would be terribly nosy, Moony. Unlike you.” 

You creep closer to the door, pressing your ear to the crack in time to hear Remus’ amused hum. “Don’t suppose I need to ask if you know where y/n is either, do I? Mary’s been looking for her.” 

“I’m sure she’ll turn up shortly,” Sirius replies. 

There’s a short period of silence wherein you wonder if they’ve walked away, but then Remus says quietly, “I hope you’re being careful.” 

Sirius laughs, the sound derisive. “Thank you for your concern, but you’ll find a condom in James’ bathroom trash if you’re worried enough to go looking.” 

“Not what I meant. She’s a sweet girl, Sirius. Don’t fuck her about.” 

You can practically hear the lewd joke forming on Sirius’ tongue, but his voice lowers, unexpectedly sober. “I’m not,” he says. You stop breathing. “She’s under no false impressions, alright? We both talked about what this was before we started, and she doesn’t want a relationship any more than I do.” 

Remus’ sigh is long-suffering. “Sure.” 

“Honest, Moons. We’re just friends.” 

Your heart—your stupid, mutinous heart—shrinks and withers like a balloon without air. You move away from the door as quietly as you can, sitting again on the cold lip of James’ tub. Sirius says something about taking charge of the music selection, and you breathe carefully as he and Remus go off. You’re furious with yourself, humiliated for feeling so dejected. Sirius is right; you had been clear about what you wanted when you first started this thing. Boundaries had been laid down. Just because your feelings have changed, that doesn’t mean his have. It was unfair of you to look for more from him. 

Your underwear are a lost cause. You bury them underneath more toilet paper in James’ bin, hiding the condom while you’re at it. You’ll get yourself new ones without telling Sirius. What you do shouldn’t be his problem anyway.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for venting to my friend about my fiancée?

I (24M) have been with my fiancée (26NB) for about 3 years now. I try to avoid venting to my friends about it when I’m having little relationship annoyances because I used to do that for a while and it ended up with them just getting a horrible image of her because when good things happen that make me happy I would be responding IRL with my fiancée or gushing about it publicly e.g. on Twitter which most of my friends don’t use, vs when bad things happened I’d go to them to vent directly so they were only seeing the shitty moments. They would just always tell me she sucked or to break up with her which just wore on me because I don’t want to do that, they know I don’t want to do that, they know I don’t think I need to. Our relationship is super affectionate, has helped me massively in improving mentally and socially and in my confidence, makes me genuinely happy, and is for the most part, with certain problems we’ve been working on aside, healthy.

It’s not a communication issue or anything, I’ll address any issues with my fiancée directly as well and we’ll resolve it between us, just sometimes I’d feel the need to vent out my upset first while calming down or talking through what to say to her before I brought it up etc.

However this changed recently. my fiancée has always been a very physical person, she’s cuddly and loves kisses and just general touching, and that also translates into her playfully hitting me a lot, which I’ll do as well. Smacking each other on the ass when we pass each other, jokingly hitting each other’s arms (gently) when we’re making fun of each other, stuff like that. Very occasionally this will bother me (the other day she pinched my face hard enough that it hurt for like 20mins afterwards) but for the most part I genuinely could not care less and I take it as all in good fun.

She has never hit me in anger before, until today. She was playing a video game and died, and I laughed while sitting next to her when I saw it, and she just turned around and hit me full force. Like, harder than she’s ever hit before, and causing genuine pain. Usually I would just brush it off because like I said she hits me in a joking way a lot, but when I kind of gave a startled “ow” she just looked at me and hissed “Don’t laugh” through her teeth and she looked genuinely pissed off, and the force behind the hit just caught me completely off guard. It was also very very sudden because we’d been talking normally and light-heartedly, had even been cuddling a few minutes before, and although she was pretty clearly exasperated at the game (sighing, saying “oh my god” when the fight was going downhill) I didn’t think it was serious anger, so her abruptly whipping around and hitting me like that was so sudden and whiplashy I didn’t even have time to register it.

I have PTSD (C-PTSD? don’t remember what the specific diagnosis was) from my last relationship which was abusive in pretty much every way you can think of, and one of my biggest triggers that has been relevant in this relationship as a result of it is raised voices/anger around me (not necessarily At me, just like when my fiancée is getting frustrated or stressed and she’ll start hitting her keyboard or shouting and it’ll make me start panicking), but this is the first time I’ve had to confront being triggered by a physical violence thing. I started dissociating like hell so I left the room when she was distracted by the game and ended up slipping out of the house to call one of my best friends via Discord and lowkey cry about it

I genuinely don’t really remember what I said, the gist was just that I’d been triggered by my fiancée hitting me in anger and that I needed to calm down before I went back. This may have been a dick move because this friend is a mutual friend of me and my fiancée - I knew her first and am closer to her, but she recently met my fiancée in person for the first time and they seemed to get along well, and we’re in several servers and stuff together.

After I was done I went back in and my fiancée apologised for hitting me so hard. I said thank you and we moved on

But afterwards she confronted me because my friend had sent me a message after that basically just checking in on me and my fiancée had seen the message on my laptop that she was using to game. I usually have my Discord on Do Not Disturb when she’s using my computer just so she’s not bothered by notifications beeping at her constantly so I’m not sure if it wasn’t on for some reason and it popped up on-screen or if she minimised the game and saw it somehow, but she was incredibly upset with me because she said I’d made her out to sound physically abusive. I did explain that I’d made clear to the friend she’d never seriously hit before this, but she said that didn’t matter because it was still giving off that impression and that it was unfair because her hitting me was done in a moment of frustration/anger and I shouldn’t have laughed at the game.

I apologised and we dropped it but I do notice that since then she’s been on my computer/phone more often and she’s slid into a few of my friends’ (and I mean My friends, not ones she talks to or knows and not ones I’d said anything about this to) asking if I’ve ever spoken about her and if she can give her side of the story. My friends came straight to me about it because they felt uncomfortable with what they saw as being prompted to talk about me behind my back.

Reasons I don’t think I’m TA: She hit me, and I know she vents about me to her friends too, and although it does bother me that her friends don’t like me because of it (for I assume much the same reason some of mine don’t like her for, AKA only hearing about negative stuff) I’ve always maintained she has the right to do it. I think everyone should be able to vent to friends about partners or family and vice versa in private because venting is normal and as long as it’s not dishonest or just pure shit-talking them I think it can be helpful and even healthy.

Reasons I think I might be TA: I went to a mutual friend so she also has something to lose if this friend forms a negative opinion of her, I laughed at her dying in the game even though I know she gets incredibly frustrated and competitive in games, and I’ve never had an issue with her hitting me more playfully before so she may have just misjudged how hard it was.

So AITA for telling my friend my fiancée hit me / getting so upset about it or is it just PTSD acting up and making me overdramatise something that is basically on the same level as the joke hitting?

What are these acronyms?

[distressedjellyfish]

Things I think about with frequency

Amy March

How we deserved to see Amy and Laurie's wedding, and them falling in love, and just more of them

How Amy March is hated by many because LMA based the characters off her own sisters, and Amy was obviously written with some bias (as were all the sisters), which shines through and makes us feel similarly about Amy that "Jo" felt about her younger sister.

That line where Amy says "I've been second to Jo my whole life" hits A LOT harder when you realize that Louisa's (Jo) middle name is May, and her younger sister, who she based Amy off, is named May, after LMA's middle name.

I think that people see Amy as this vapid little bitch because she always knew she wanted to be a wife, and she knew she wanted to be rich. But what people fail to consider is that a lot of the time the youngest is the one that sees all the flaws in their family’s lives and feels responsible for taking care of them, even if its not expressly stated. Jo was a wild card. She was free to do as she wanted and nothing could stop her and God love Marmee for never trying. Meg was docile and almost polar opposite of Jo, and as the eldest sister she felt the same burden but lessened because yes she had typical Eldest Sister Syndrome where she had the need to take care of the family, but she also was the first, and therefore had no pre-set markers and expectations that she needed to meet or surpass. She wanted to marry and all that, but it didn't super matter about finances to her. Beth was unable to do "better" than her sisters "mistakes" flat out. And its not through any fault of her own, its just the way it was.

Speaking from experience, its always been clear to me that as the youngest of 3, I would have to do better. My half brother got a girl pregnant on his gap year when he was 18, so I was never allowed to take one, even though it would have probably helped in the long run. My half sister has always been mean to my parents, and won't let my dad see his only biological grandkid, which rips my dad apart, so of course I feel the pressure to have a child to give my dad a bio grandkid to dote on like he does with his non-bio grandkids, even though he's never outwardly expressed to anyone ever that he feels any disconnect from my niece because they aren't related, or that he wants me to have kids for any reason other than he wants them.

Anyways, my point is that Amy felt that pressure from a young age, hence always saying this or that about marrying rich. Add onto that when Aunt March tells her she's her family’s only hope of not being in the lower class/lower middle class for the rest of their lives. And just because that's the only time we see it, but that doesn't mean that there weren't other similar conversations had. Do you really think Aunt March never made her snide comments about the family and their status in front of Amy?

Amy's entire character revolves around this point, she's focused on being a proper lady, being delicate and pretty, in hopes of one day being able to bag someone rich, for her family.

Obviously, she falls into infatuation with Laurie when she meets him at the ripe age of 12??? She idolizes Jo, and Laurie is basically just the boy version (with some exceptions). He's also rich, young, handsome, and charming, and adores the family for who they are, including all their flaws. He's exactly what Amy had been saying she would marry, with the added bonus of him loving Jo the way she is, the exact opposite of Amy, proving that there are rich lovely men out there who will love you even if you aren't perfect, even if you falter. He's proof she can have the life she knows she needs to have for her family, and also still enjoy it and not be stressed all the time about being perfect.

Of course Laurie loves Jo first, for very similar reasons that Amy is infatuated with him. At 15, his whole life has been spent at dinner parties with girls the exact opposite of Jo, all proper and lovely and so so similar to one another, being told he'll marry one of them, everyone expecting him to be polished and well spoken and everything that no 15 year old boy wants to be. So then in comes this whirlwind girl who is completely different, a breath of fresh air that never wants to marry and can't ballroom dance for shit and laughs too loud, and shows him that life can be the Something Different he so desperately craves.

And of course, he ends up with Amy. He was Jo's best friend, so for 6 years all he knew of her was the way she was presented through Jo's eyes. A bratty little girl, who was the same as the other vapid girls he knew, that wasn't worth a thought. And he never paid her any mind because he spent 6 years thinking Jo loved him back, so why would he think of other girls? Then, at 21, he is essentially dumped by the love of his life, and travels abroad to find who he is without her. He meets Amy again, the girl who was always happy to see him. Of course he's going to spend time with her, she's familiar enough to feel like home, but different enough from Jo that it doesn't hurt. And there's the added validation of her liking him, which sometimes you need after your heart has been ripped apart. Plus, she's the only one he really knows in Paris. So they spend time together, and in that time he learns that she's not at all the way he's seen her over the last 6 years. Where he always saw someone not very bright, with a dim personality, that didn't stand up for anything or really rock the boat unless seriously provoked, who would do anything for him, he now finds a strong, funny, kind, beautiful girl, who is very intelligent and has a deep understanding of how cruel the world is (maybe ((definitely)) moreso than her sister) and knows how to manipulate said world in such a way that she can come out close to on top, who cares about her family enough to put everything else aside in order to become the person they need her to be in order to support them, who would still do anything for him but will absolutely call him on his shit and put him in his place when necessary. And how could he not love that?

She's not all that much like Jo, sure, but she is so much more. And she deserves so much more than people calling her his second choice.

Also I think that its criminal that most people don't see that obviously Jo loved her family but she loved herself more. Her sense of duty was to herself, and finding the place that would make her happy. She was also kind of a brat? Things didn't go her way? Editor is a dick? Boy critisizes her writing? Tantrum.

Whereas Amy loved her family more than herself. She was willing to put aside her dreams in order to support her family, and growing up was very rarely bitter about it. She decided, on her own, that her family was her number one priority, and that regardless of the fact that she could be happier doing other things, she wanted to do what she could to provide for her family. She knew how the world treated women, and she learned how to take that, and general criticism, on the chin.

Personally, I think that Amy is a way better character, and I'll die on this hill

Amy March

[dirtytransmasc]

concept, cause the dynamics at play would be super interesting:

when Tuk and Neytiri are sucked into the hold of the Seadragon, what if Spider, unwilling to watch another one of this baby siblings, nor his siblings mother (despite everything cause he's a good kid), die without doing anything, jumps in after them?

they're now stuck in a flooding ship, spider knows his way around to a decent extent, they're all tired, they're all scared, they're all hurting. they have to depend on each other for survival.

Neytiri has to not only trust Spider, but has to follow his lead, has to trust him to guide her around a demon ship, has to untrust not only her own life, but the life of her youngest child to this boy.

Maybe they're separated, they have to find one another (my personal favorite scenario is that Tuk and Spider are together and he has to try and find her/guide Neytiri to him)

Spider taking Neytiri and Tuk's arms so they aren't separated by stray currents and raging waters (a parallel to "Sully's stick together"). Spider talking them through the breath holds he learned as a kid in case his mask malfunctioned before bringing them through the depths of the submerged ship (parallel to Jake and Lo'ak)

anyway. I just can't stop thinking about it. think about it.

Neytiri is faced with the fact that Spider jumped in after her and Tuk. he came for them, he put himself in danger to save them, to save her daughter. even after what she did to him. even after she held a knife to him, after she cut him, after she intended to kill him even after Kiri was released. he still jumped to her aid, even if he could have stayed with Kiri above deck where he was safe, he could have just aided Tuk and left her behind, but he didn't.

and there's so many ways to play with it and the aftermath. like.

Spider dragging both Tuk and Neytiri up the surface, trying his best to keep the trio afloat (namely Neytiri who was much less adjusted to the water and is exhausted by the night they've had) as they hope and pray to be reunited with the rest of their family.

maybe the stress gets to them and Spider just starts apologizing. I should have fought them harder. I shouldn't have let Lo'ak and Neteyam try and leave with me, I would have been fine. I should have seen it coming, should have taken it myself. it should have been me. my baby brother shouldn't be dead.

maybe he becomes partly delirious as he too gives into exhaustion, the big brother in him being the only part of him left coherent, so he takes Tuk close, whispering prrnen tsmuke [baby sister] over and over into her braids, assuring himself that she's safe and unharmed. he keeps praying to the Great Mother for his siblings to return to him unharmed. maybe he keeps asking where they are, if they're safe as his awareness fades and his memory weakens. all of his siblings. asking if Neteyam is ok, only to remember he's gone the second the words leave his tongue.

Jake and Lo'ak finding them when they come up with Payakan, both worse for wear, exhausted, clinging to one another, the only thing keeping their heads above water being spiders life vest, Tuk cradled between them. what a sight.

Neytiri watching as Spider looks over each of his siblings, taking them close, holding onto them as if they will be ripped away from him. the realization that he would die before he let that happen again hitting her like a ton of bricks the second she sees the look in his eyes.

a peace being made between the two in the wake of this event. spider silently claiming the role of big brother (he always was, but he had to pretend he wasn't. with Neteyam gone, he can't pretend he's not anymore), Neytiri silently agreeing.

idk man. it would be interesting.

[pupyuj]

wait why was the soft yujin ask actually so cute i neeeeeed to hear about soft dom ive always taking care of their gf in bed

this is a bit long cuz i included aftercare along w the sex so 😚😚 i went through several breakdowns writing this i love my girls.. my scrunklies.. my sillies...

gaeul is a service top IDCCCC 😤😩 maybe it's the unnie in her that just makes her want to prioritize your pleasure over her own,, esp if she gets way too busy to be with you :(( going from weeks to sometimes months without her bcs her schedule gets so packed, she feels so guilty about it as if it was her fault 😔 even when you reassure her that neither of you can do anything about it bcs she loves her job and you support her no matter what! and bcs of your never-ending support for her, she repays you by fucking you nice and well,,, she's kissing you everywhere, whispering how much she loves you, hits all of the spots that she knows feel good, and makes you come a lot but not too much so that you're not overstimulated and exhausted 🥺

aftercare consists of romcom movies, lots of forehead kisses, and cuddles! gaeul is small, yes but she insists on being the big spoon cuz it makes her feel like she's keeping you safe n protected, and that's really all she wants! 🥺

yujin knows alllll about love and care ofc! sure, most of the time, she's energetic and literally fucks you like she won't get to do it ever again but other times, she can be super gentle 🥺🥺 the pup showers you with praises while she's fingering you, says things like: "my baby's so pretty" and "doing so well for me, good girl" like she just wants to make you feel appreciated and special 😩 sometimes she fears that you think she's only with you for the sex, bcs the two of you do fuck a lot and it's very intense too but she wants you to know that she's with you bcs she loves you, so yeah she talks a lot during these times 😭 but her voice, her praises, and her kisses keep you from getting lost in pleasure bcs even when she's all soft and sentimental she still fucks you so good like holy shit this girl just knows you so well 🫠🫠

aftercare is yujinnie wrapping all of her limbs around you and keeping you close 😭😭 but ofc she's careful not to like, crush you or suffocate you sjdbfjosf she's threading your hair with her fingers, patting your back softly as a means to lull you to sleep.. she makes jokes too?? 😭 like maybe the two of you have gone silent but not asleep so she'll just say something funny and you'll burst out laughing,,, yujin loves your smile sm, she wants you to be happy foreverrrr 🥲

rei is always soft with you, she's a love maker dammit 😔 takes care of you like you're made of glass but that doesn't mean she's vanilla or anything . she knows how to fuck you, she just doesn't like to overwhelm you with it!! she's always asking if you're doing okay, if anything hurts, if you want her to stop or keep going . and tbh she's giving service top too, she's always aiming to make you feel good cuz ur her baby!! like, she also asks if you want her to go faster if it was what you wanted 🥺 and she warns you if she decides to fuck you harder.. saying it like: "it's going to hurt a little bit, baby... is that okay?" i cannot stress this enough SHE SO FUCKING CARESSS 😭😭😭😭 if you're feeling particularly needy on a certain day, you will literally have to assure rei several times that you won't complain if she just fucks you out of your mind bcs you want it, but she's so afraid of breaking you :((( but when you do give her the go... she can have you seeing the stars 😵‍💫

aftercare is reibear cuddling you from behind while holding hands 🥺 and she kisses your shoulder a lot, as well as the hand that's holding hers ☺️☺️ trust that the aftercare will last until the next morning sjfbfkf like rei's giving you breakfast in bed, combing your messy hair, and offering to help you in the bathroom SHE'S JUST.. SHE'S VERY GIRLFRIEND OKAY 🥹💔

wonyoung is very sub top to me, shes baby 🥺🥺 like she can fuck! she can fuck real good, but she's so in love with you that she just... she folds no matter what 😩 holding both of your hands while she's fucking you with a strap, leaning down and kissing you, and she talks a lot too!! always asking for permission and like, approval ... "does it feel good, unnie?", "am i doing good, unnie?", "are you gonna come yet, unnie? yes?", "can i go faster, please? i want to hear you" omggg kfkjnfdjdsjdfj 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 baby definitely comes with you because seeing you fall apart and hearing the noises she brought out of you is really enough for her 🫠 but she keeps going . she continues on fucking you bcs she so wants to satisfy you, and in a way, she's satisfying herself too bcs if you're feeling great, she'll feel amazing 😩🫣

aftercare is just,, being held close to wony's heart 🥺 she has you laying on top of her, your head resting on her chest, falling asleep to her heartbeat and the random shapes she traces on your back with her fingers... says 'i love you' even when you're sleeping, kissing the top of your head, and getting lost in her head thinking about how much she really appreciates and loves you like my girl is LOVESICKKKK GET UP!!! 😩

unpopular opinion but liz is just as eager as a certain puppy when fucking you i will not be told otherwise!! she just loves feeling your warm cunt around her fingers and even better on her tongue!!! but lizzy understands that sometimes you get tired and just want to go about things slower... and she gets soooo emotional???? like she's fucking you and suddenly, she has a whole speech about how beautiful you are to her and it's just :((( SHE LOVES YOU OKAY . SHE WANTS YOU TO FEEL PRETTY BCS UR HER PRETTY GIRL!! <///3 liz loves to spoil you with compliments, she really does 😔 she tells you that every single part of you is so ethereal to her :( from your eyes, to your nose, your lips, every little scar, and even the parts of you that you think aren't worth acknowledging or complimenting but they are to liz bcs you're genuinely so perfect in her eyes 🥲🥲💓

aftercare is lizzy humming a lullaby to help you fall asleep 😩😩 she likes staring at you too, but ofc not in a creepy edward cullen way but in an oh-my-god-she's-so-down-bad way she needs help getting up too‼️‼️

[floppydiskettess]

alone (chamber x reader) (hurt/comfort)

a/n: im writing this in a super bad episode, if it sucks im sorry. i just need some sort of comfort right now and with this i can pretend i have someone who cares about me. i can pretend that someone actually notices that i am hurting.

tw: sh (hitting self, nothing gorey), severe depression, depressive episodes

when chamber returned to your shared living space, he was not expecting to be greeted to the suffocating silence surrounding the house.

"mon ange? are you here?" he called out but recieved nothing back. had you gone out on a mission?

he set down his items on a counter nearby and approached the bedroom. as he got closer he heard the small sounds of shuffling. when he sat right outsid ghe door, he heard the shaky heavy breathing on the other side just barely audible.

he frowns and worry crosses his face, he knocks on the door immediately.

"darling...? what's wrong? can you please let me in..?"

when you open the door, he lets out a soft gasp as he takes in your appearence. tear stains are present and running down your face from your exhausted dark eyes, just behind you he can see a bunch of little items thrown around as if an animal had ran through the room. he looked around before noticing the soft purple bruises forming on your arms. he nearly started crying then and there.

"mon dieu..what happened mon couer?" he says quietly as if he were trying not to spook you. as he takes in the state of you and the room, you begin crying harder. you messed up HIS space...he is going to be so mad...heisgoingtoleavemeand-

you feel two hands on your shoulders attemptijg to ground you. "hey hey...listen can you follow my breathing for me love?" he says as he pulls you into his chest so you can hear his breathing.

as you mimic his breathing, he softly praises you. "good job...thats it. i'm so proud.."

the only sound in the room is the two of you's soft breathing with the occasional sniffle. he loving rubs your back as he whispers softly into your hair.

"do you feel any better now dear?" when he feels your slow nod into his shoulder he smiles and hugs you tighter.

when you pull away from him, his rests hos hand on your cheek and slowly caresses his thumb over it.

"..do you want to talk about it..? it's alright if not. just tell me what you need."

"i just...why can't i be good at anything...? you have your gun designs...i just have nothing i am good at. i can't draw, or fight, or even be good at video games.."

"oh dear...i'm sorry you feel like that...i promise you that your "thing" will come soon alright? you don't have to be perfect for me or anyone else. now, can i ask where the bruises came from...? ....did you do that?"

seeing you shakily nod is all he needs before he grabs your arm and kisses it softly

"oh honey...why? you need to be careful. i love you so much ok? if you ever feel like this again please call me..i don't want you to suffer through this alone.." he says in a shaky tone you have never heard before. he sound...scared. observing the room around him, he can tell in your throwing match with the random trinkets that you had hit yourself on various items..his heart nearly shattered. when he hears you small muffled apology, he sighs.

"you have no need to be sorry, i am simply happy you are safe...now, what can we do to get this off your mind hm? would you like to watch that new show you told me about?" he said as he gave you a caring gaze.

the rest of the night was spent cuddling on the bed, you quickly fell asleep feeling drained from the stress. when you woke up, the room was tidy and you were pressed gently into his bare chest as he rubbed your back and let out soft breaths into your hair.

"you are not alone anymore mon amour. please, if you need lean on me. i will support you."

sorry for the self indulgent post. i literally described my morning but added someone there 💀. uh anyways i hope you all are doing ok and if you need support to reach out!

(please do not vent on this post)

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

empire of death thoughts+reactions part 1

previously onnnn (super short sdlkfj)

HOP ON, COWBOY

sdlkjs morris a literal 13 year old having guns on his lil' scooter thing.is UNIT ok.

omg even the vlinx TOT

the birds will sings again!!!!!!

dust of death mmm delicious alliteration

"im sorry there's nothing we can do. we're dead" vibes

loving this action sequence ngl

WATCHA TALKING ABOUT

maybe is not [insert character]. maybe mrs flood is just an old lady who is Like This.

"my true name" "ur true maker" whats her true maker if not RTD!!! / clowning

"we've got worse problems" that's gonna come back to bite him skdfljdskl

does anyone remember the clara / 1 paintdoktahwho comic "dont take that one. take the tv"

thats what im thinking ot

(askdjlad UGH my iplayer stopped so i refreshed and while skipping to the place i think i spoiled my self for susan ?? TOT sutpid internet stupid preview skipping thumbnail function grrrr) im not a tardis smasher in general but the memory tardis….. would. maybe

"remember it harder" i would be a useless companion here tbh. memory of a goldfish.i would doom the earth.

IT'S A TV SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S TELLING THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE

I MADE A JIGSAW OF YOUR HISTORY SDKLFJSLKJF

AAAAAGHHH

sdflkdfj sutekh spining in the vortex. 2 cute

the temple……….. tardis as the thing in the hill meta INTENSIFIES

"so many secrest" um TIMELESS CHILD FUGITIVE MEMORIES FOBWATCH????

oh ok i jut got spoiled for the clip OF susan sdlkfjdskl FALSE ALARM FOLKS

"never yours again, never"

my angels of death………………..

"i find that good" i feel they did this same exact phrasing once for a "death is beautiful" monster like this but i cant remember which story?

also, flux? flux anyone? 13 vs entropy itself?

"i am an extinction event" OOF

(oh this clicks on why the doctor clings sm to living / immortality despite how much it hurts)

memory is a time machine TOT idk but that Hits Harder

"sutes" dlkjfslfk cute

"and doesnt it feel good?" holy shit

yayy mel's not dead yet

MEL GRABBING SIX'S COAT IM FINEIM FINE IM FINE

(idk why but that's what's made me cry slkfjsd)

"ruby roo" sdkljsfd

lasdkj if a regular tardis is 6 people driven then a memory tardis is probably meant to be piloted by every single doctor and companion ever

"meleanie b" TOT (doctor trait unlocked: when 15 is stressed he intensifies on the cutsey nicknames)

CHEKOV'S INGELLITEN GLOVE !!!!! damn i thought for a second about putting that on my bingo card but didnt skldfj

i like that the subtext of "when disaster comes, he's there" / "the tardis is an ommen of death" & "he has one constant companion… death" isn't literally being stated as being "sutekh did it lol" lol cause that would feel a lil cheap. i think instead rtd took a smarter choices of keeping that subtext, but keeping it that stricly speaking what sutekh did was just putting the susan copies everywhere.

73 yards……………

omg wait so in a memory tardis u can remmeber anything to existence………….. what if heiimagines susan at the end

(MOLECULAR BOND ROGUE CALL BACK?)

73 yards…………. HOW DO U KNOW THAT. I JUST DO. SHE'S JUST GOOD AT CONVERTING UNITS DAMN. LET RUBY BE GOOD AT UNIT CONVERSIONS DOCTOR.

ohh wait so this connects perception filters and 73 yards. put on a pin on that (and presumably……. taking down the perception filter is what happened re: ruby? that's why people ran away? people saw beyond her perception filter to the elderitch abomination bellow?)

"you've landed on earth a 100th times" is probably a huuude understimation lol

"she was reborn stronger each time. this monumental figure" dr. who as a cultural institution meta

shots outside the tardis my beloved

1999….. the movie... 2005 …. obvious. 1066 was the fire of london right? with 5?

this is rlly working for me ngl. dr who is all about death meta but it's literal but it's not

and a lso the whole. when u are a time traveler everyone is already dead. we must be like ghosts to u . etc etc

telos… THE OOD SPHERE noooo

mel being like "well…. at least 1% of the universe is fine. that's all right then" .

this |5 "it's all my fault" beat feels a lil' weird until u remember [all the traumas] / flux trauma and then it's like yeah i getchu doc i too take everything bad that happens as proof that it is my fault even tho, factually, it makes no sense as a reaction. trauma/depression girlies united.

THE SUN IS DEAD. rip 42's sun.

omg thank u sutekh for finally fixing that over-blue colorization in the unit set. not all heroes wear capes tbh.

aaaand the end.

fade to black.

doctor who is done! we can all go home and become trekkies everybody. congrats!

[ephemeralgalaxies]

SHADOW AND BONE S2 SPOILERS BELOW (specifically Wylan)

back on my procrastination obsessing-over-comfort-characters flavored shit again here we go

Jack Wolfe did a great job getting me invested in Wylan all over again dear god idk where to even start for this. there's so much to discuss about his character portrayal in the show.

what I wanna talk about in this meta, though, is Wylan as neurodivergent (from a neurodivergent perspective), and I'll start it out by saying I absolutely loved it.

Having Wylan so obviously ND without actually saying it or making him "weird/outcast/gross" is so refreshing in media. Like, from the books (and mid-season of the show) we know that Wylan probably has dyslexia, making it harder for him to read. He shows his discomfort with this fact about himself, how his natural conclusion is that others will treat him less because of it. But something I've always admired about Wylan (and I think a lot of fans forget *squints at trends of infantilizing ND-coded characters*) is how he knows this isn't something to be ashamed of. He knows this doesn't make him any less incredible. But he just can't get it in his head that others would feel the same way. When he first lets Jesper in on how he can't read the passport, he's trusting Jesper with this. He looks around to make sure no one else will hear, anyone he doesn't have this bond with, faith in, yet. And he asks Jesper what the passport says. The look in his eyes is so pleading, so cautious, like this is a test. He's testing Jesper to see how he'll react to this, if he'll just be another name on the list of people Wylan has to learn to let go to keep himself safe.

And yeah, Jesper fucks it up. And he just keeps fucking it up, saying how he didn't know bc "you're just so smart!" (like that "oh, you don't look autistic!" "oh, you're too smart to be disabled" etc) (like ofc, that wasn't Jesper's intentions. But when your father sends you letters like "if you're reading this, then you know how much I want you to come back home," well what are you more likely to believe Jesper is thinking?) And finally, Jesper hits it right: "you have nothing to be ashamed of!" Except... it's pretty hypocritical of him here. So Wylan panics again, he's furious because he really does like this guy but how dare you. And then he sees how hurt Jesper is and oh shit. There's more to this. It's more complicated than "don't be ashamed," there's a commonality here. This isn't pity, it's empathy.

so yeah I absolutely adore how they addressed this in the show given the situations they were placed in (like, if in the books, Wylan had already formed a strong bond with someone in the group, he probably would've done this. But he really hadn't yet, no one had told him that they want to be around him, to understand him. Wylan didn't feel safe enough to test the waters. The situation from the show, however, opened up new possibilities that stay true to his character (imo)).

Though even more than that, just the sheer obvious ND traits that Jack shows with Wylan made me so happy. Like, especially all his tics and stuttering and it didn't feel ingenuine. He doesn't stutter through everything, just super stressful situations (which... is most of his situations in s2 lmao). Like, he's not stuttering when he's just driving in the cart with Jesper or when he's scolding him for seriously, you remember that now??? (like ofc Jesper would remember him in that position I swear-- "you brought me stroopwaffles!" jesper PLS). He holds it together when confronting Kaz about Alby (his voice breaks at first, he pauses, but he works up the mask to look sturdy and immovable. which,,, with kaz brekker he definitely needs). When telling Jesper why he left, he keeps steady. It's not all the time like the stuttering-representation I've seen before (specifically in fanfics).

AND THE HEAD SHAKE TICS!!!!!!! As someone that does that a lot, I was so happy to see him doing these (the excessive blinking as well), especially when he's more shy than stressed because yeah tics can happen any time, but especially any situation with a heightened emotion (and the guy u like telling u that he really wants to try things seriously with u with that soft voice/eyes/smile (this is just becoming me simping for Kit Young), like yeah I'd definitely be feeling a lot. AND IT DOESN'T TURN JESPER AWAY. The only thing that bothered him was that Wylan hadn't responded; he was worried the sentiment wouldn't be returned. But Wylan's actual tics have nothing to do with it.

And having him so sensitive to loud sounds (ironically) makes me so happy because YES!!! YES YES YES OFC. He loves music and chemistry because Wylan controls them. He can control the sound, the amount of it all, he can predict it. And it makes it easier to deal with. He doesn't flinch away from his own explosions (when he knows they're coming, unlike the one that destroyed the Crow Club) -- usually he covers his ears or hides his face ahead of time. He likes the higher piano keys, the flute puffs (forgive me, I am a cellist and a pianist, Idk what the harsher sounds from his flute when we first see him are called technically) when he can control them and their effects. And whenever he does react to other sounds/situations, he leans towards his one comfort-person in the group (Jesper), leaving him lost once he tries to sever that tie after telling Jesper that he can't read. Wylan leans on Tolya more instead (I love that so much for so many reasons) bc while Tolya is less known, he's just,,,,,,, okay I'm sorry but Tolya gives off such comforting vibes, alright? Like he's so amazing. I haven't read the SaB books yet, just SoC, so I saw everyone talking about him like "oh yeah ok. some cool character ppl love. aight we'll see how it goes." aND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH???

Like if I was in Wylan's position, given all the other characters around, I would definitely lean to Tolya for comfort. Also Tolya is a great fighter, like. alsdkfj no focus, Wylan first, Tolya meta later.

ALL THE INFO DUMPS TOO!!!! That urge to inform Jesper despite also wanting to be pissed at him bc pls be interested in this, I wanna tell someone so much. This is so important to me. AND THEN wanting to correct Jesper later when Jesper apologizes, even messing it up himself after hearing how Jesper pronounces it when Wylan knows how it should be bc god the echolalia, the subconscious ND urge to repeat what others said/how they said it/tongue just getting screwed up when u hear something wrong despite knowing how it should be. And then Wylan deciding that it's not important, that he has so much time now to correct Jesper, that he can explain it all and more later under the safety of roof and the morning sun.

I'm not crying you are.

okok I need to eat supper now but pls I love how Jack Wolfe depicts Wylan as ND so bad, it's so validating. Especially with an entire cast full of ND characters (u cannot change my mind that the Crows isn't ND Found Family. I love them so much) and how different everyone is still, showing so many side to neurodiversity. And that it's all valid. That Wylan is incredible and beautiful and brilliant, neurodivergence and all. That someone like him, someone maybe like me, could find a love (romantic, familial, platonic) like Wylan does with the Crows (and now more! since the show allows them to interact with the other series).

Representation matters, people.

[author-by-night]

So you want to write about swords…

I’ve been reading Tamora Pierce books with my boyfriend, and it’s got me in my trap card again about what different swords are.

Despite what some sword nerds will say there really is no absolute / concrete taxonomy of swords. Especially in history, different styles of swords were highly contextual to different cultures and didn’t often need to be described super specifically or told apart. But when we’re writing, especially writing western fantasy, and we have a wealth of cool swords that we want to describe to an audience so that they sound distinct… then we need to have a ballpark idea what we’re talking about at least with the more commonly appearing ones. So.

Arming Sword / Shortsword

What the overwhelming majority of white people think of when you say “sword.” Also, unfortunately, what most white people (and tabletop systems) think of when you say “longsword,” which is just not correct.

These are one handed double edged blades with a cruciform guard, what an archetypical knight wields alongside a shield. Good for thrusts and cuts, very versatile. A good length for them is one where you can swing the sword straight down without hitting the ground.

For more specific swords that basically also fit in this category see: gladius, spatha, viking swords.

Bastard Sword

What most people who don’t think an arming sword is a longsword think is a longsword… and they’re still mostly wrong. Some people will even use this to mean something bigger than a longsword… which is even less correct.

Think of these as the shortstop between arming swords and actual longswords. They’re often also called hand-and-a-half swords, the idea being that they’re meant to be a flexible weapon that can be wielded effectively in one hand or two. The funny thing is, while most people use these to signify that a character is big and strong and edgy they are specifically a smaller and lighter cousin of the longsword.

Longsword / Claymore

Yes these are basically the same thing. This is by far the most flexible category of sword, though, so nailing down what one is can honestly be kinda tricky.

The crux is this: longswords are generally meant to be two handed weapons. Don’t listen to D&D, it lies to you. If you want the best picture look up “German longsword” or “Italian longsword” or “HEMA.” You’ll get the idea of how they were fought with. Disambiguate them from arming swords in your mind. If it’s paired with a shield (or really anything) it’s an arming sword. Longswords are bigger than you think and every guard I’ve learned with them has needed both hands.

And seriously if you remember nothing else here remember that a Claymore is just a longsword in Scottish font.

Greatsword / Zweihander

Get the image of Cloud Strife out of your head. These were not, and I can’t stress this enough, meant for dueling. They’re what you come at a pike formation with. They were handled more like polearms than swords. Generally speaking they just exist much harder in fiction than they ever did in history… but also the concept is really cool so who cares. Beeg chonk sword. Yaaaaay.

For the wacky wavy version, see “flamberge.”

Broadsword

These. Are not. Longswords. Or bastard swords. Literally they’re “rapier but thicc.” They have a basket hilt, they’re made for fencing, they’re just chonkier than other fencing swords. This one is easily the one I see misused the most because people use it to mean “lorge sword” when in actuality they are relatively small. They’re just heavyweights for a fighting style which is still geared around being light, fast, and virtually unarmored.

Rapier

We all pretty much know this one. Skinny double edged blade with a fancy hilt meant to be wielded in one hand. Good for cutting, better for stabbing. While almost no one gets confused on what it is though, there’s one common misconception about what it does.

I’ll put it this way: if seeing someone with a longsword is like seeing someone with a hunting rifle slung over their shoulder, seeing someone with a rapier is like seeing someone with a beretta tucked into their waistband.

Too many stories have big chunky dumb dumbs seeing a rapier and going “haw haw look at that little toad sticker.” No. A rapier means you definitely have money and most likely a lot of training. There is no chance you are a working stiff like a soldier, a mercenary, or a guard. Rapiers are for killing people in the street or on a dueling ground. This is one of the most intimidating weapons someone can be carrying.

Saber / Cutlass

Basically everyone knows sabers: curved fencing swords, occasionally with a fancy hilt. Mostly these were for soldiers, especially cavalry where their cutting capability has a great advantage.

The cutlass is pretty much that moved down a tax bracket. They’re relatively cheap, single edged, useful for things like cutting rope and thus often seen on ships. Often these were self defense weapons.

Falchion

An elegant weapon for elves and stuff, right?

Well… no. Try a self defense weapon for the lower class, not unlike a cutlass. Single edged, not usually curved or especially interesting, really. Though fantasy authors love handing these to graceful fighters and the name sounds rad as heck they’re basically just a big cleaver. See also the messer and the seax / langseax.

Very, very often confused with the falcata or the falx to the point that all three sort of get mixed together when they’re actually very distinct. (Personally, I think the falcata is the coolest.)

For writing purposes… think hard about how you want to use these. Curved swords that don’t mean “pirates” or “elves” are often handed off to non-white people when in fact all of these three are weapons from western civ, ranging from Rome to middle Europe. They’re not fancy, they’re not that far off from a machete except that their primary use is as a weapon rather than a tool, and if anything they curve forward not back.

Scimitar

Did you mean: Shamshir?

A curved sword that odds are you are too white to be writing about. See also the kilij, the talwar, the saif.

If you don’t immediately know what these swords are then odds are the best thing they can do by popping up in your story is alert you that you need to do more research to write the culture you’re trying to write without being accidentally racist.

Katana

A single edged Japanese sword that was neither folded a thousand times nor was it made of special super awesome steel. The optional groove in the back is called a fuller and it has nothing to do with blood, it just makes the blade lighter and sturdier. It’s not inherently master crafted, just historically the forging technique was unique and interesting and involved differential hardening. It’s great at cutting. If one shows up in your story and you aren’t Asian, you’re probably a weeb. Take it from someone who was a teenage weeb, and see my previous note about cultural research.

Bonus Round: Weight

If you made it this far I have one last gripe and I want you to spread the word: swords are not heavy. Every time I read about a noodle-armed protag struggling to lift a sword I want to scream. The average weight of a historical zweihander—the swords so big they’re used as polearms—is about 5lbs. There are books heavier than that. Unless the sword in your story is made of tungsten for some reason there is no reason it should be hard to heft. Tiring to fight with? Sure. But swords aren’t made to be cumbersome and acting like one can’t wield them at all without doing a whole montage about it first looks really silly to anyone with even a passing familiarity with fencing… which will be a sizable chunk of your audience.

[jitterbugjive]

So Maybe I Do Have Autism

Firstly, I have been trying to sleep for the past 3 hours with no luck, so I've given up for now and decided to do this now instead of later. I have some old behavioral notes from various counselors, some from school and one a more general counselor, and they point out a lot of behaviors that really just scream 'autism' to me and my friends who have it. If I was born the male sex I very likely would have been diagnosed with it. I censored out my dead name but the pronouns are still female since I didn't come out as trans until my 20s.

Warning, some of the language used in these notes can be a bit outdated or even ableist because these notes mostly come from the 90s.

So this is all Kindergarten to first grade and there's one main thing I want to point out about my 'argumentative' behavior. I actually remember arguing with people as being my way of having fun or hanging out, hence why this girl I was not supposed to play with that I was always fighting with registered in my head as my "best friend". She argued with me a lot, therefor spent a lot of time with me, therefor liked being with me, and thus had to be my best friend.

Also to note is that I found math and writing easy, which is kind of funny because it remained that way all the way into highschool where I would generally excel in math and literature and they were my favorite academic classes.

Next ones are in the third grade:

I want to remind people how stressful Christmas used to be for me. It makes perfect sense that my behavior would dip significantly after Christmas break. I would have come back from a situation with a lot of yelling, chaos, and abuse.

The older I got, the less kids wanted to be around me because they became more aware of my odd and 'annoying' behavior. It got harder and harder for me to understand other kids because they were more complex and confusing, and I found myself getting along better with much younger kids because they were easier to understand.

Next are observations my mom provided to the counselors when trying to get me an ADHD diagnosis. At this point I was 8 years old.

Lastly are notes from when I sought out counseling when I was 17, this was after being in special ed for a long time which was a better environment for me overall.

It's funny I said I have "never hurt myself", because what I thought of as hurting myself was things like cutting. I didn't think that hitting or biting myself counted as hurting myself, and I didn't want them to think I was suicidal.

I also want to add a couple of stories that add to this from my memory. I remember in 5th grade I was finally placed in special ed, and I had to go on a smaller bus that had teenagers because of that. And those teenagers scared me and were kind of mean. So one day I read a book at the school library and checked it out because one page had what I thought was a pretty scary dragon head on the spread. And when I went on the bus, I pulled up the book and held that page over my face at the teenagers to scare them, and they of course reacted mock scared and were making fun of me. But at the time, I thought they were legitimately scared because I was super bad with sarcasm.

Another time, I can't remember how old but in elementary school, I put on a shitty wig to pretend I was someone else, hoping no one would recognize me and therefor stopping the bullying. Obviously that didn't work.

Sooooo yeeeaah, I dunno about you but this really comes off to me as autism and not just ADHD. I'm fairly sure I have both, to be honest.

Thoughts would be appreciated. I'll probably bring these up with my therapist, though I'm not seeking a diagnosis any more because it would probably make things more difficult for me.

[the-tmnt-ficfinder]

Ficfinder finds: The Lemonade Leak

Chapter 1: The Apostate

Chapter 1 Summary: Leo can not sleep, because there is a thing in Donnie's lab, pretending to be his twin. Or: It turns out that being created as a biological super soldier comes with a few... modifications. Some of those, more dangerous than others.

The Apostate: Appraisal and Ratings

(Don't know what fanfic "Appraisal and Ratings" means? Check out my explanation on my Main Masterpost! Looking for a different fanfic to read? Head on over to my Fanfic List Masterpost!)

Disclaimer: This fanfic is only available to those who have an Ao3 profile. This fanfic is written by @turtleinsoup, so go show them some love and support!!

The fanfic ratings are not based on quality, favoritism, or how good I think it is, but rather, how intense a subject may be. Like a movie review, or the tags on Ao3, letting the readers know what to expect.

Plot: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Plot is three out of five!! The plot for this chapter is very confusing, yet enticing. It drew me right in, as I was very curious to learn what exactly all those mysterious sentences and hints were about. As far as 1st chapters go, I'd say this one is highly enjoyable!"

Suspense/Mystery: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Suspense/Mystery gets a four out of five!! This chapter had so many hints and confusing sentences, that the first time I read it, I was like 'whaaaa?' The first chapter does very very little explaining regarding what's happening in the current moment, and a ton of explaining of what is to come. Trust me, you'll wanna pay close attention to this chapter."

Angst/Hurt: 💛💛🖤🖤🖤

"Angst/Hurt is two out of five!! This chapter doesn't have high levels of angst, and instead, relying on confusion to really make it enjoyable. Though, don't get me wrong, there are a few good angsty moments where feelings get hurt, that just stabbed me right in the heart!"

Fluff/Comfort: 💛💛🖤🖤🖤

"Fluff/Comfort is two out of five!! Though there isn't a high amount of angst in this chapter, what angst there is, hits so much harder due to the lack of comfort. Everyone is upset, no one knows how to make it better, and Mikey is a precious boy."

Emotions Conveyed: 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Emotions Conveyed gets a four out of five!! The emotions written in the chapter, though confusing, like murky fog, are powerful. *SPOILIERS* Specifically Donnie's adamancy towards Leo in the beginning of the chapter regarding the fact they aren't twins, and Leo's dulled sad acceptance that his family won't visit him in the med bay. It made my heart ache to see the family divided like they were."

Drama/Tension Level:💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Drama/Tension Level gets a three out of five!! I didn't expect this chapter to have as much tension as it did, but wow in part III (three) of the chapter, the tension became incredibly thick! The conversation held between Mikey and Donnie was stressful to read (in a good way though lol).

Triggers: 💛💛🖤🖤🖤

"Triggers for this chapter are two out of five!! Its not a very triggering chapter, and what triggers there are, aren't incredibly intense. You peeps are safe this time lol."

Legibility (Reading): 💛💛🖤🖤🖤

"Legibility (Reading) is two out of five!! This chapter is a little difficult to read, due to its clipped sentences; though this certainly doesn't diminish the quality of the writing, which is poetic and beautiful in a haunting way."

Legibility (Audio): 💛💛💛💛🖤

"Legibility (Audio) gets a four out of five!! This chapter was actually really fun to listen to in audio book form! The roundabout way the sentences are written, makes it feel like listening to the beat of a music, or the flow of poetry."

Length: 💛💛💛🖤🖤

"Length is three out of five!! This chapter of The Lemonade Leak takes 24-25 minutes to listen to."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Chapter ->

The Lemonade Leak: Story Ratings and Chapter List

Personal thoughts on chapter below cut (Contains Spoilers)

The chapter just starts out so powerful!! The concept of the boys being triggers for each other, like an animal reaching to a whistle call is such an interesting idea!

I really love this Paragraph in particular;

Leo’s heart hammered. “You know,” he said, even though the whole point was that Donnie didn’t, “Draxum could’ve swapped my brain juices with lemonade,” Leo said, “He could’ve left us as eggs in a bucket. As turtles in a soup. And I’d still…” He chuckled, then swallowed. “I’d be happy, in that bucket. In that bowl. In whatever war he made me for. Because I could still hang out with you, Don.”

I love how in this paragraph, you can see what Donnie is saying, but you can also see Leo's point. Leo is basically proving Donnie's point in this moment, saying that as long as he could be with Donnie, he wouldn't have cared if he was never born, if he was brain dead, or if he were killed. To Leo perspective, he's telling his twin how far he'd go, because that's what siblings do for each other. But, you can see in this moment, that Donnie just takes this as confirmation that all he is to Leo, is a thing to use, to live for, and to follow around. Though Donnie does joke around with Leo following that statement of his, I do find his serious reply to be fascination.

“Don’t tilt your head,” Donnie mumbled, “The lemonade will leak out.”

This sentence alone paints such interesting images within my mind. Leo with his head tipped, golden liquid pouring from his face, all common sense gone, drowning in the liquid, eyes only on his twin. I could go on and on with the imagery.

Now, further into the chapter, did genuinely make me take a double take. The absolute panic, followed by Leo's realization that he's kicking the bucket made me pause what I was doing. Then I realized, oh shoot, he actually died!!! You can practically feel the sheer panic as his heart is stopping, then following that, is a very clear sense of helplessness.

It was one of the quiet nights and Mikey’s voice came soft from somewhere by the door. “Dee,” he said. He said that a lot, lately. Dee. Like it was a new word for Please. “We need you in the living room.”

Poor Mikey... Even he feels helpless in this moment. I could practically hear how brokenly he's asking for help, drained, tired, on his last thread. The following interaction between him and Donnie was intense. Immediately you can tell how much worse off Donnie is. He's scared, so he's acting angry. Definitely, something is different. Now, I've read further into The Lemonade Leak, so I understand what's going on, and the foreshadowing is insane!!

It gets worse once Leo wakes up. Poor Leo is so lonely, but deluding himself. His brother's are scared of him now, and they don't visit.

I really love these two paragraphs;

Dark eyes met Leo’s and then his little brother made a point out of settling back across Leo’s lap. Mikey bared the skin between his throat and carapace as he laid down, leaving himself open. He hadn’t looked this relaxed in a long time, so it had to be deliberate. Oh. The heavy warmth sank right into Leo’s stupid, stupid inhuman brain. Needs rest, offers warmth, don’t move. Leo’s heart rate slowed down inhumanly fast, and the line of his muscles loosed involuntarily.

Mikey knows how he effects Leo, and is clearly using this to his advantage. I've seen the boys portrayed to have animalistic instincts before, however I've never seen it quite like this. Where the boys are so deeply effected by their instincts, like its not deliberate to act this way. The human part of Leo's brain tells him he's falling for a trick, a trap if you will. But the animal part of his brain tells him to relax, slow down, and protect Mikey. I can't get over how much I love this concept!!

“Oh,” Leo said and even through the feeling of Mikey’s warmth, he felt something hard build in his chest. He watched the light bulb flicker; the shadows twitch closer. “Wait, so I’m- we are holding Donnie back? He’d be stronger without us?” “There’s a difference between dangerous and strong, Lee,” Mikey whispered. “You think Raph gets stronger without us?”

I love how instantly my mind turns to savage Raph. How he'd be a violent creature if he didn't have his family. The way Mikey whispers the answer, like he's scared hits hard. He's scared for Donnie. He's scared of things Raph did in the past. He's scared of Leo's reacting to such information. I like how he used the word dangerous, before the word strong. It really highlights the contrast, making Mikey's statement even more powerful when he asks if Raph would be stronger without them. He's not really asking if Raph will be stronger, but insinuation that he'd be dangerous.

A danger to himself, and a danger to others.

Leo stared down at him. Mikey was unarmed, boney and bandaged. He looked somehow breakable. Shell, and all.

This could be interpretated as Leo being protective, noticing how fragile his brother appeared to be. Or, he could be seeing how easy it would be to break Mikey. How easily his brothers could break him, or even how easily Leo could break him. Those are dangerous thoughts, contemplating how breakable someone may be, regardless of whether or not its for their safety.

[gingerjunhan]

movie nights with xdinary heroes

☆彡 the fabled movie night fic is here!! I hope you all enjoy! :D

word count: 968 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: all caps w/ Ode (sorry I got excited), lmk if I missed any!

goo gunil

you’re watching: horror

this is 100% a ploy to make you scared so he can swoop in to help

something tells me that Gunil would also be super scared

he tries his best to be brave for you but it doesn’t work

but it’s okay because you love him so you find it endearing

his ego would shoot through the roof if you turned to him for comfort

let's say a really scary part happened and you turned to him to hide your face in his chest

or you scooted closer to him on the couch, clutching his hand

he would feel so strong 💪🏻

he just wants to protect you from everything!

even if it is a horror movie demon!

after the movie ends, Gunil is secretly very happy that you two share a bed

because whether he showed his fear out-worldly or not it was definitely still there

he holds you so tight as you both try to fall asleep

“It wasn’t that scary,” you’d argue

“I’m just making sure you’re safe,” he’d argue back

kim jungsu

you’re watching: rom-com

Jungsu gives me BIG rom-com energy!!!!

I feel like Jungsu just loves seeing other people in love :’) ugh he's the sweetest

if you choose a cheesy “chick flick” he literally will not complain

he wants you both to have fun together

as long as he’s with you he doesn’t care what you guys do

if the lead roles in the movie kiss I feel like he would jokingly cover your eyes

if he was feeling bold he would use this movie as an opportunity

the lead roles are kissing in the rain and he hits you with the, “we should try that sometime”

he would absolutely find the movie funnier than you would

if he finds out the movie is a part of a series????

get ready to binge

nothing beats watching people fall in love with the one that he loves!

kwak jiseok

you’re watching: comedy

this is his lighthearted fun time with you where he doesn’t have to think about work or stress so he’s here to have FUN

nothing will be taken seriously between the two of you for the entire length of the film

you’re laughing at the jokes in the movie

making your own jokes about the movie and laughing even harder at each other

I can 100% picture Gaon tossing a piece of popcorn into the air and trying to catch it in his mouth and missing

I also feel like Gaon would purposely like to watch bad movies

“This movie is terrible!”

“I know! It has a 32% on Rotten Tomatoes!”

in his head, the worse the movie = the funnier it is

imagine the two of you watch a movie that’s absolutely TERRIBLE

yet because of the two of you laughing and joking about it so much you just end up loving it

Gaon can absolutely make any situation funny and movie nights with him prove that

oh seungmin

you’re watching: romance

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT NUMBER ONE VILLAIN LOVER OH SEUNGMIN DOESN’T FREQUENT ROMANCE MOVIES

sorry I got carried away for a second

but picture it!

with all the dramas he watches and his general flirtatious nature, Ode is always down to watch a romance

he takes note of the cliches and pockets them for later

his eyes frequently wander to you during the length of the movie

seeing which parts make you blush the hardest

it’s information he uses against you at a later date

imagine him kissing you every time the lead roles kiss WNDKWJSK

can you tell he’s been bias wrecking me lately??

Ode also strikes me as the type to love love

seeing people fall in love never fails to give him butterflies

especially after getting to experience it himself with you

han hyeongjun

you’re watching: something animated

Jun Han strikes me as an animated movie lover for obvious reasons

you could recommend Disney, Ghibli, Pixar, anything!

he would be down to watch it

animated movies are typically light hearted, but let's break some things down:

if there’s a duet, you better make him sing it!!

bonus points if it’s a princess movie and he sings the princess part

if the movie gets unexpectedly sad?

it’s over for both of you

you would turn to Jun Han with tears in your eyes

and he would have tears in his eyes

and you would both either laugh at each other for crying or you would just sit there and cry together

once you finish the movie, I can imagine you and Jun Han talking about the animation itself

(is this me projecting as an art kid? maybe yes)

I just feel like Jun Han would have a high appreciation for good art/ animation!

you can never go wrong with an animated movie, so be prepared to frequent them with Jun Han

lee jooyeon

you’re watching: comedy

I feel like Jooyeon would NOT be able to handle a sad movie AT ALL

so the happier the movie the better 👍🏻

you would take turns picking the movie

he would always jokingly complain about the movie you pick but then he would end up loving it

Jooyeon would have you wrapped in his arms the whole time

pulled tightly to his chest

so you can feel his laughter right up against your back :’)

you two would be laughing so hard together that everything else around you would seem like it wouldn’t exist for a little while

it’s just the two of you in your own little bubble

unlike Gaon, Jooyeon doesn’t watch bad movies for fun

if a movie has a dumb ending I can totally picture him booing at the TV screen 💀

which just makes you both laugh in the end

Jooyeon loves shared laughter, so he’s glad he can experience it with you!

[melobin]

soo as i promised a little life update !! it’s a little long so i’ll put it under the read more 💖

this year hasn’t started off the best for me .. i started off the year having not slept for two weeks, i didn’t sleep for another two weeks after that, even now im struggling with my sleep but i think its slowly getting better !! around a month ago my nan passed away quite suddenly and it hit me quite hard, my other nan only passed away last march and i had another family member pass away in november so grief has been quite strong in my family for the past year. ive been trying to cope but i guess sometimes it can be a little harder?

i got quite sick three weeks ago and i still haven’t fully recovered, I’ve had quite a bad case of tonsillitis and that has just been absolutely vile. it’s still been bothering me these past few days but slowly I’ve been recovering !!

the most intense life event i’ve had lately is the fact i dropped out of uni on monday .. it’s been something i’ve been thinking about for over a year now and i finally done it. i guess mentally i just can’t cope anymore? it’s been incredibly stressful and difficult and i just couldn’t do it. i’m trying to not be hard on myself for it and i know that my reasoning for it is completely valid and i done what’s best for me so im trying my hardest !!! ive been resting more and ive had a lot of support. i guess whilst thinking everything through over the week i realised i done it at the right time before things got too overwhelming for me, i know how easily i can slip in and out of depressive episodes and im trying super super hard to slowly come out of it and hopefully it’ll be gone soon !!!

i love you all and i’m so thankful for you all of the support and patience i’ve had from you all recently 🥹 i promise to start being more active and start posting more fics again soon! 💞💓 remember melo always loves you 💓