#taking a trip down memory lane rn

[ffive-by-fivee]

I miss London and I miss Paris and I miss LA and I miss Denver and I miss my new friends and I miss my grandpa and I miss my girl and I miss my best friend and I miss my other best friend and I miss being on a plane and I miss my band and I miss not having arthritis and I miss my old coworkers and I miss wn and I miss that feeling in my chest when I experience something beautiful for the first time and I miss

[obislittleone]

Take It Off

Dbf!Joel Miller x College!Reader

A/n: y'all i know this is like... campy or whatever but humor me. I'm on a dbf joel kick and this was the only way I was gonna stop thinking about him 24/7. Still thinking about him rn but at least I can focus on my work tomorrow 😭 (shoutout to @theatrelove3000 for being on the joel kick with me)

Warnings: not many for this part really... the occasional swear word and like kissing but that's not really anything. Ig just the taboo relationship thing.

This is based off of a tiktok that can be found here.

Obviously, the song is Take It Off by Kesha.

MASTERLIST

- no outbreak au, age gap is about fifteen years, roughly. -

He chuckled again and nodded, watching as you almost turned away from him and his place at the bar, before catching you at the last second.

"You look mighty pretty, tonight," he let out sweetly, and your face lit up. You kept going in the direction of your friends but stepped backward in order to face him a bit longer.

The bar was always busy on Friday night, and most Saturdays were the same. Near every person of drinking age in Travis County could be found sitting at the long wood slab surrounding the bartender, or at one of the tables nearby. The busiest nights of the month, however, were the ones that cleared the floor for dancing. Line dancing, Swing dancing, and the sway of drunken people who could barely stand. Anything goes.

Music blazing through the windows brought on many patrons that sometimes never frequented the bar at all. You being one of them.

You'd never been one much for drinking your nights away, and in past experiences, you had turned out to be quite the designated driver. Your friends playfully joked time and again whenever you visited the establishment, how you never touched even so much as a beer bottle. In your own words, that doesn't mean I can't still have fun.

Dancing has always been something that could pull you out of your seat. College has been rocky, and finding fun things to do that didn't completely intoxicate you were limited... but when everyone gets up and starts kickin' round the concrete floors, you can't help but spring to your feet and join them.

Dance nights, you've been to more than you can count, but usually in places by where you go to school. College bars, campus built clubs, that sort of thing.

Tonight, you found yourself in a small bar your dad normally goes to. Of course, he hates dancing, so right now, he's nowhere to be seen. Someone you do notice on your way in, though....

Joel Miller.

Next door neighbor since you were sixteen and your father's closest friend since they started working together around that same time.

Joel was never someone you'd been able to call a personal friend, but he was someone you could depend on if you needed him. If your car wasn't working senior year and your dad couldn't pick you up? Call Joel. If you need help with the light fixture by the front porch and your dad doesn't have the right tools? Call Joel. Even just bringing home new furniture for your room while your dad was out of town... you called Joel. He was dependable, always one call away. In return of these good deeds, you'd babysat his daughter several times when she was younger. She was almost fifteen now, going into her sophomore year of high school. It felt crazy to think how long ago those memories were in hindsight.

You think your train of thought causes you to stare just a bit too long, and your friends begin to notice.

"Who's that?" Amy says with attitude... she isn't sure why the older guy in the corner seems to have caught your eye, but she doesn't hide her opposition to whatever it is.

You snapped back to the group and almost did a double take on where you were. It's Dance night, and you're here to have fun with your friends, not take a trip down memory lane. But if you did....

"That's my neighbor," you explained, smiling sweetly and trying to wipe the strange look from Amy's face.

"Oh," she dropped any hints of disgust that she wore only a moment ago and looked to the man herself. "For a minute there, I thought you might be into him."

"Amy, I know you don't go older... but that man's easy on the eyes," a voice came from your left, Kate. She had her hands mounted firmly on her hips as she took her time in scanning his appearance. Easy on the eyes, indeed. You'd always thought so.

He's a good man from everything you know. Everytime he's been at barbecues and house parties hosted in the neighborhood, he always made a point to ask you how you were doing, how you were liking college. He'd offer to grab you a drink or to help your dad with the grill. Honest to God, he's a real down to earth southern gentleman. Polite as they come, even when he doesn't speak much.

You suppose that with three younger girls staring holes through the side of him, he was bound to notice at some point. He caught your gaze and your friends' as well, offering up a nice smile and a nod in your direction. He stood away from the bar as if excusing him from any previous interaction, and you sighed, knowing that even with the music calling you to dance, you needed to make a small pit stop.

"Look at what y'all did, now I gotta go talk to 'im," you joke, starting over in his direction with a bashful smile.

You hear a bellowing 'you're welcome' from Kate, who likely could sense your faint attraction to the man. Given that you couldn't barely take your eyes away from him the second you entered, it dawned on her that there might possibly be something there. Obviously, she's just guessing, but your diminished swagger as you walk up to him tells her one thing: you're nervous.

Whether he makes you nervous, or you're just nervous to talk to him, it doesn't really matter to her. She's positive she's gained all the information she needs to know that you, at the very least, like him.

"Hey, I didn't think I'd see you here," you slipped beside him at the bar, facing his slumped over stature with a decent distance between you.

"I could say the same for you, I thought you were still in Dallas?" He asked, a confused look shown through a soft smile.

"I'm here to visit a while, might stay for the summer, actually."

He raised a brow, nodding and taking a swig of the beer he had. Maybe it's just the way him and your dad drink them all the time, but suddenly a beer of your own sounds somewhat appealing. You add on to your statement, trying to distract yourself from the new craving.

"Senior year is gonna kick my ass, so I might as well spend some time relaxin' for a bit."

Again, he nods, understanding how much stress it ought to be. He and your dad both never went to college. Thought about it, sure, maybe even looked at a couple schools... but they ended up doing just fine with the talents they had on their own.

"I imagine the last year s'not so fun... Remind me what you're going for, again?" He scratched the back of his neck, as if embarrassed to have forgotten. He reckons he asked you last time, too. Wasn't like you'd find it personally offensive that he'd not remembered. Your own grandmother couldn't even remember, so...

"Archeology, although I'm starting to think that maybe that wasn't the best Major for someone who lives in Texas," you joked, and he chuckled softly. He hadn't stopped wearing that faint smile ever since he'd noticed you were here.

"Ain't nothing wrong with it," he shook his head, trying his best to be encouraging. "Just gives you more places to go."

You gave him a look of sincerity. Even your dad had poked fun at you from time to time for your Major. 'Can't discover much out here, lovebug... just old pigskins and bottlecaps.'

"Thanks, I appreciate you sayin' that."

He shrugged as if it were no big deal. Validating your career decisions? That's an easy one on his part.

"No problem. Can I get you a drink while you're here?" He motioned to the bottle in his hands that you'd kept staring at during the entire exchange.

You finally realized how much you'd been glancing at it and had to stumble out a response under a slightly nervous laugh.

"Is it okay if I take a raincheck? I should get back to my friends, they get lost without me."

He chuckled again and nodded, watching as you almost turned away from him and his place at the bar, before catching you at the last second.

"You look mighty pretty, tonight," he let out sweetly, and your face lit up. You kept going in the direction of your friends but stepped backward in order to face him a bit longer.

"Don't look so bad yourself." And that was the reply you'd settled on. You finally made it back to your group, but you swore you saw a hint of a blush creep over the man's face. It was funny, to think that the big and strong next door neighbor was red in the cheeks by a compliment you paid him.

"What the hell was that?" Amy asked, crossing her arms over her chest. She was clearly confused and a bit peeved, but for why, you had no idea.

"What do you mean?" You didn't mean to play dumb, you genuinely didn't know what she was on about.

"You're into him," she said flatly, and you couldn't answer in words, but lucky for you, your face gave away everything you could have said, anyways.

"He's into her, too," Kate chimed in nonchalantly, and that revelation snapped your head around as quickly as it possibly could to meet her eyeline.

"No, he isn't... he's just bein' polite s' all," you denfended him, but in all honesty... if he was into you, it's not like you were appalled at the theory in the slightest. "He's my dad's buddy, I've known 'im a long time."

"Honey, let me offer you some good advice," Amy pulled you in so that only the group of you could hear. "Don't let your daddy know he looks at you like that."

You didn't even stop to think about how he was looking at you. It was the same he'd always looked at you, right? But then again, he'd never taken in your appearance and called you pretty like he'd just done. Mighty pretty...

"You guys are seein' things that aren't there..." you shook off their suggestions, and tried to get on with the night.

"If you say so," Kate replied, not without looking between you and that neighbor of yours again. He was certainly a looker. "But if you're not interested, maybe I'll ask him for a dance?"

You laughed a little, not wanting to discourage her idea, but knowing from experience that, "Joel doesn't dance, but you can ask him all you want."

"Mister neighbor guy has a name, huh? Joel..." Amy repeated it like it was some sort of spell. You laughed at her and Kate before speaking again.

"At this point, I don't care who you ask, but we came here to dance, s' I wanna dance."

The first few dances you participated in were just lines, several fun songs blasting over the speakers to bring out more patrons. Now, the lines broke apart and the song 'Step in the Name of Love' came on. It wasn't uncommon for this song to be played as it was a favorite in the bar, but you weren't interested in dancing to it at the moment, given that some swing partners started going out for it.

They seemed to agree with you and headed over towards the open floor. The lights of different colors rotated around the room to set the mood, and about fifteen other people had been drawn out to the cleared area for dancing by now, but the night was far young.

-

You watched as Amy and Kate wrangled themselves some lonely boys by the sidelines and pulled them to the clearing for some fun. Normally, you'd do the same, but something about Joel Miller being at the bar and watching the crowds made you feel like maybe you'd rather sit this one out. Didn't stop some poor soul from trying to get you out there, though.

You felt a sly hand pull you by the waist and away from the floor-to-ceiling wooden beam you'd been leaning on. He was cute, but not your type. Blondie, blue-eyed. You gave him a warm smile and shook your head.

"I'm takin' a little break," you nodded for him to go out and find someone else, but he continued to pull you, now by your forearms.

"C'mon, hot stuff," he started swaying a bit to try and get you to do the same, but again you pulled back into the beam, leaning there again and giving a slightly less friendly smile as you shook your head again. "S' just a little fun."

At this point, you knew he probably had a few drinks in him, if his glazed stare was anything to go by. You crossed your arms over your chest and looked at him more pointedly.

"There's a bunch of girls over there waitin' to dance, you should ask them."

"I didn't ask them, I'm askin' you," he started getting closer again, and you were about to just walk away and go to the bathroom. Your usual escape plan for avoiding weirdos.

"And I'm sayin' no, bud," you gave your last effort to shove him off, but he huffed, and came even closer. By now you'd missed your chance to cut around the beam and head to the bathroom. Boys down here ain't as courteous as the ones in Dallas, you guessed. That, or they didn't see unfamiliar faces around often, and tried to take advantage of it.

"Hey, baby... you ready for that drink?" A voice came from your left, and you turned to see Joel coming over, an innocent enough look on his face, though you knew he'd been watching and came to help you out.

"Yeah, definitely!" You smiled brightly at him and the guy took a step back to stare him up and down. Much bigger build, much older, and you knew him by the looks of it. The kid huffed out and knew he wasn't getting his way this time around. You sidestepped him now that you had room, and dismissed yourself, "Excuse me."

You hooked your arm around Joel's elbow as you walked back towards his spot at the bar. Standing here, now, you realize he had a perfect view of your situation.

"Thank you for saving me," you laughed, sticking close by him until you were sure that kid had gone off. "This doesn't usually happen in Dallas."

He shook his head, it was no problem. Didn't need thanks, just wanted for you to be where you were now.

"I've seen that kid here before, he's harmless... but I wanted to make sure you didn't feel uncomfortable by 'im," his explanation felt like he was trying to justify himself. As if he needed a reason for saving you.

"Even so, I appreciate it. I didn't feel like swingin' tonight," your own explanation followed, but one second later it felt like a lie... you wouldn't mind swinging with him, but he doesn't dance.

"Yeah, I'm not much one for any of it," he chuckled, confirming your last thought to be completely true. Joel does not dance. "You looked good out there, though."

You ducked your head in an attempt to hide the pink spread over your face, but he seemed to catch it. He smiled to himself. He'd never been like this around you before, but maybe the reason for that would be the lack of presence of your dad. He'd never dare to look at you like this in front of him, never did before.

"It's been a while since I came to a dance night here, figured I'd show my face again," you stumbled into your reply, a little nervous again from his words. He'd been watching you from here, you can tell just by turning your head that he had a good view of the floor, too.

"I'm glad to see you back," he tapped his beer on the counter slightly, his smile still evident. "How about that drink?"

The bartender had been close by, and you hailed him over to grab you a beer. Same one Joel was drinking. You didn't have a preferred taste to any drinks in specific, but both Joel and your dad drank Bud, so you were going to try one.

You took a sip when the bottle was in your hand, and even though you didn't expect yourself to like it... it wasn't bad at all. You went for another sip and Joel chuckled at your side.

"S' good, huh?"

"Better than I thought it would be."

By now you'd gotten used to the taste, and as you kept drinking, the words you said to him became easier to say. You weren't quite buzzed yet, but rather relaxed. Whether that had anything to do with the alcohol, or just that he was a familiar presence, you didn't really know.

"So how are things? I know Sarah's goin' into sophomore year, yeah?" you asked, the counter becoming your friend as you leaned more into it.

"Been fine," he thought about it some more, remembering what Sarah had been telling him. "She's glad to have a break from school, but she's real bright, gets all A's n' that sort of thing."

"She's probably gonna have schools lined up to give 'er scholarships in a few years," you told him, and he nodded, taking a moment to let it sink in.

"I can't be thinkin' that far ahead, already blows my mind that she's in high school."

"My dad used to say the same thing," you smiled faintly at the way he used to tell you, 'Stop gettin' so big, girl. Gonna have to start carryin' a shotgun around, keep the boys away.' "Guess I'm all grown up, now."

That, he knew for a fact.

"Yeah, grown up," he repeated, taking another swig of beer before turning back to face you.

You'd seemed to have something on your mind, but until now, weren't able to voice it. Maybe the alcohol was doing it's job after all.

"I know you don't dance," you started, and he chuckled lowly. He knew where it was going but didn't dare interrupt you. Not yet, at least. "Maybe just this once you'll make an exception."

He actually thought about it for a second. Maybe he could make an exception, just this once, for you. He'd been caught in a few conversations by some buddies who were here tonight, but besides that, he'd mostly entertained himself by keeping an eye on you. Watching you dance, talking with your friends, and then getting hit on by that blonde kid.

"How about next time?" He asked, knowing how slim the chances were that he'd be at another dance night over the summer. He'd only come tonight because a few buddies had been here.

You understood that was the nice way of saying no, and you understood he wasn't much for that kinda fun. You didn't blame him, it took a certain type of personality to enjoy the spectacle.

"I know s'not your scene," you sighed out and set the now empty bottle on the ledge of the bar. "But I'll be out there incase you change your mind."

He gave you a small nod and you turned to leave, but with the confidence flowing through your veins in the form of a beer, you stepped back up to him quickly, pressing the smallest kiss you could conjure against his cheek, "Thanks for the drink."

You didn't even wait to see how he reacted, you were already turned around and ready to go back to the dance floor. You found your friends by the edge of the room, and they'd just come off from swinging.

"Where'd you go? We didn't see you the last few dances."

"Some kid was givin' me a hard time... Joel scared 'im off easy," you told them, and though Amy seemed to not notice the implications, Kate seemed rather intrigued.

"He did, huh?" She gave you a pointed look with her eyebrow raised.

"Oh hush, I'm back aren't I?" You gave her a playful smack to the arm and she held her arms up in defense.

"So, you gonna dance now, or what? Thought that's what you came here to do?" She mocked, using your words from earlier.

Truth be told, you wanted to dance, but with the kind rejection of the person you'd wanted to dance with, the mood had been changed slightly.

The current song was ending, and in only seconds the next one to start playing drew droves of people onto the floor. It's been a pretty popular song as of lately in the line dance society.

Take it off, by Kesha.

You knew the steps, the walls, the restarts. Probably better than any other song you'd danced to tonight. It had been a favorite of yours in Dallas, and you wouldn't lie, you were glad to see it made it's way into Travis County.

Your friends squealed and pulled you along to the floor, and you didn't even try to fight them off. You went to the back corner, which coincidentally (not at all) could be seen the easiest from the part of the bar that Joel was hanging out by. At the start of the song he'd been engrossed in conversation by the person next to him, but once he caught wind of you stepping foot into the mix, he'd fixed his attention in your direction. His buddy still rambled on, but he'd only give an occasional nod, or a soft 'uhuh,' to tell the man he was listening.

You had waited for the chorus until you looked right at him. You did the steps, and given that the wall was facing the bar, you wanted to be a little punk and tease him.

He'd watched as you stepped and turned, how the jersey you were wearing loosely hung onto you when you did. You'd worn black fringe boots with a pair of black shorts and fishnets beneath them. The shorts could barely be seen for the length of the Ranger's jersey over everything.

You saw him tense up a little, and you couldn't be sure if it was your doing, but it didn't matter... you were determined to get a reaction out of him regardless.

You took the skip step and followed the instructions of the song:

Turn me on...

Now, turning towards the other side, you grabbed the bottom hem of your jersey:

Take it off....

And you did. The polyester knit fabric was pulled up and over your head to reveal the tight black tank underneath, cropped at the mid section and clinging to midly sweaty skin. You flung the jersey to a corner of the room, and some of the guys on the floor were whistling.

Joel's eyes never left yours, even as you turned and faced the next wall. Every time you turned around, you were looking right back at him, a smirk plastered over your lips as you mouthed the words. His jaw clicked, and he huffed deeply, finally out of conversation with the man beside him. He drank the rest of his beer and left the bottle on the countertop.

You didn't realize he'd left the bar until you had turned from the last wall. You kept dancing, but couldn't find him anywhere in the bar. Maybe he'd been fed up with you and gone home... but that was unlikely.

You waited for the song to end, then stepped off the floor, nodding for your friends to stay through the next song. You told them you were gonna try and find your jersey, and they were more than happy to keep dancing without you.

You scanned the room, now able to see behind the crowds of dancers, but couldn't see Joel even still. You went up to the bar to see if he'd just moved seats, but he wasn't around there either.

You figured he did actually go home, because when you looked and saw the clock on the wall, it read 12:05. Sure, it was a weekend. But Joel's a set schedule kinda guy. You knew he'd probably already been out too late.

You turned back around and went searching instead for your jersey, but it hadn't been where you threw it. You could swear tonight was just a night for you to loose things, until there was a tap on your shoulder.

You spun around and smiled widely.

"You lookin' for this?" Joel stood with your jersey clutched tightly in his hand. He held it out to you and you took it thankfully, sliding it back on.

"Yeah, thank you," you'd waited to say anything further until your head had peaked through the top. "I didn't see you at the bar, figured you'd gone on home."

"I was thinkin' bout heading out soon, wanted to make sure I saw you first."

You weren't exactly sure of his meaning, but damnit, the sparks in your skin when he said those words. Your stomach fluttered and you almost didn't know what to say.

"Well to be honest, I'm glad you caught me... I'm thinkin' about calling an uber and gettin' outta here, too."

He raised a brow and proposed an idea.

"I can take you home, if you want." The offer was kind and genuine, but to be completely honest, he just wanted the extra time with you. He liked being near you, because you were good company, and also... mighty pretty. "Not like it's out of my way."

You laughed lightly at his joke. Truly, why waste the time in calling someone else to drive you home when he could do it? He lived next door, it would be crazy not to.

"That would be great, actually," you agreed, smiling to him in thanks but then turning back to the dance floor. "I ought to go let them know."

He nodded and let you off, watching as you went to find your friends. They seemed like nice girls. Not quite like you, but nice all the same. You seemed to enjoy their company well enough.

You found them by the edge of the floor, heaving and sweaty from the last dance. They saw you and waved you over, sitting into some chairs by the wall.

"Are you gonna swing at all?" Amy asked, her hands on top of her head to control her breathing.

"No, I think I'm done for tonight," you handed Kate the watter bottle she'd gestured for you to grab her on the next table. "But you guys are good, I got a ride home."

Amy dropped the look of neutrality on her face when she realized.

"With the neighbor?" Her eyes went wide when you nodded, but you hadn't illuded to anything else, just that he was giving you a ride home.

"Girl, I knew it. I'm never wrong," Kate jumped in, looking around the bar to see where he was at. "That man's got it for you."

"Y'all just needa calm down, alright? He's just bein' nice... Besides, he lives right next door, it's not like he's going out of his way for me."

Kate rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat, waving you off. She wasn't annoyed, but she knew you weren't telling them everything, and she knew that the man next door, Joel, was clearly attracted to you in some capacity.

"Alright, girl, you go on, now.... and enjoy your ride."

Amy winked at you before you started walking away, laughing at her antics and flipping her off as you left. It was always in good fun, but sometimes they were just too accurate on their assumptions.

You found Joel where you left him, scrolling through some texts from your dad. He probably was letting him know he'd be dropping you off. He looked up when you stopped in front of him, a sweet smile he was met with.

"Ready?"

"Mhm," you hummed in response, watching as he held out his elbow for you to take, just like earlier. "Ever the gentleman."

He chuckled, waiting until you hooked your arm around his to start walking to the door.

Being so close to him all throughout the night, you'd started feeling a sense of familiarity that hadn't been there before. His smell, his energy, the way he walked. It all became so much more apparent than it ever had been. You noticed how naturally big his arms were, and how broad his shoulders looked in the shirt he was wearing. Black and white baseball tee, which hugged tightly his arms and shoulders, but hung looser around his ribs and waist. He wasn't muscular by any means, and in some places, you could tell he was a little soft... but it was a good look on him. Attractive.

Getting to his truck, he opened the passenger door for you before going around to his side and jumping in. He watched you pull out your phone, and for a second, you weren't even sure why you had in the first place... force of habit.

You swiped out of instagram and opened snapchat, tapping him on the shoulder as you held the phone up. He looked over and saw you were trying to take a photo. He leaned over, an awkward smile on his face when you snapped it.

"What's that for?" He furrowed his brow, starting up the truck and pulling out.

"S' just for me," you told him. You saved it to your camera roll, discarding it afterwards and neglecting to post it. No filter, no caption, just you and Joel miller sitting in his truck.

"So, how you liking Dallas?" He attempted to keep the conversation going, and you smiled at him for it. He was normally someone who kept quiet in a setting like this. On the drive home after a rowdy night out. It was unlike him to want to speak so much, but nevertheless, you entertained him.

"It's alright, a lot bigger than here, but I kinda like the small town scene better."

"I never took you for a city girl, but I knew you could do well there," he replied honestly. He kept his eyes on the road, every once and a while into his mirrors. You figured that was for the best, because then he couldn't catch you staring so much.

"Still prefer this, though," you said softly. You'd looked back to the window, and missed when he finally looked over at you, a sweet look in his eyes. He's happy you're home. You know that much... but he can't tell you outright because, why is he so happy that you're home? You're not his buddy, you're only his buddy's daughter.

"Everyone's gonna be glad to have you 'round for the summer," he said it as inconspicuously as he could... but you still read between the lines. He's happy you're home.

"Maybe not Mrs. Stanton," you joked. The woman had been your elderly neighbor to the other side of you and wasn't necessarily a fan of any person younger than thirty. She liked peace and quiet and mundane life. Parties and Barbacues were not her setting, and she loathed your dad and Joel for throwing so many over the years. All for the sake of you and Sarah, of course, birthdays, graduation, etc.

"She's never glad about nothin', I don't count her."

Nearing the edge of your neighborhood, you yawned and turned back to him, seeing as he was carefully making his way onto your street.

You laughed a little, then fell into a comfortable silence the rest of the way. Travis County is a small place, not much around, everything is within twenty minutes distance or less, just about.

-

"Thanks for drivin' me home."

"No problem, darlin'," he parked in front of your house, even though he could have just pulled into his driveway and made you walk across the yards between.

You smiled at him sweetly and he couldn't help himself anymore, he just had to ask...

"And thanks again for that drink," you said, looking at him over the console. He'd leaned ever so slightly closer to you, and you could swear neither of you were gonna look away.

Those brown eyes were so damn captivating. Ain't no way you'd survive being a victim of their longing stare. Just as well, he seemed to be in a similar trance, with you being the one to cast the spell.

"Can I kiss you?" It was almost a whisper, and though soft in your ears, it rang out over and again.

You didn't even answer him. You just closed the space between you, pressing your lips against his in a gentle motion that was almost too much for him to handle. He'd not even thought twice before asking you, and now he was kissing his best buddy's daughter. You were always wordlessly off limits to him, but right now, it didn't feel that way.

He held you by the back of your neck, pulling you deeper, closer. He didn't stop it from getting hotter, heavier, and maybe he should have. It was far too late for that, now.

Your arms dangled over his shoulders, the broadness of them that you'd admired only twenty minutes ago. So broad, so strong.

He raised the center console up for you to slide across, and you didn't bother to say a word before you straddled his waist, still buckled in his seat belt.

The audacity of this scenario. Your dad was in the house the truck was parked in front of, and here you were sat on his best friend's lap and making out with him shamelessly. Joel was playing with fire, and buried in the back of his mind, he was well aware of that fact... but damnit, he wasn't stopping for nothing.

His hands rubbed up and down your thighs, covered in the fishnets he'd kept such a close eye on earlier. Something about the secrecy of this, the fact that no one could ever know, made it that much more exciting.

You both jumped apart at the light over your driveway turning on, being caught by the suddenness of the flash. You saw a neighborhood stray cat walk across the yard soon after, and realized it had set off the censor for the light.

You breathed out a breath you didn't remember holding, and looked back to Joel with sleepy eyes and swollen lips. "I should go."

He nodded, helping you slip off of him and into your own seat, gathering your phone and keys before opening the door. He caught your hand just before you got out, and gave it a tight squeeze.

You smiled at him and continued to get out of the car, giving your last words before you shut the door.

"I'll see you," he promised, his eyes assuring you of his words. To hell with those brown eyes, they were gonna be the death of you, and you knew it.

"I'll see you."

A/n: if anyone wants a part 2 lemme know otherwise this is a oneshot lol

(Tags are always open!)

[madqueenalanna]

it's 2024 i should be so completely over church and tex and YET

it's just. the echoes. restoration was essentially a trip down memory lane, a victory lap, one last chance to say goodbye. of course it echoes, back to "recovery one", back to "memory is the key", back to blood gulch. back to when church/tex was alpha/beta, back to when it was leonard/allison

cause like, and i know rvb is not really worthy of this level of textual analysis or derangement, but. allison in retrospect is haunting the narrative in duplicate; the way she, as a once-living woman, drove the director and carolina in their own respective ways, destroying the freelancers, and the way she, as tex, as beta, as failure, as ghost, haunts church (as alpha, as ghost). he spent his entire life chasing a woman who could not be caught, did not want to be found, and whom he did not recognize once he got her again

alpha split first into beta, spontaneously (allison– the loss of her, specifically). allison's legacy, in her husband's eyes, was not as a soldier, as a wife, as a mother, but as a corpse. she was a badass, sure, and she cared about her teammates, but she was Failure personified. and on some level she knows this– she has to know this– by the time she meets church in s1

cause like, he's not real, either. he's whatever is left without her, he remembers they were once close, but his memories of her as an ex are just... false. and she's angry at him! she does not like him or trust him, she's ready to kill his friends for money! bc who is he, to her? the director with the edges sanded sharp, leonard frozen at 24, prickly and asocial and feeling, keenly, unwhole? she knows, back then, what he did. anything she didn't know then, she will learn later from york

it takes church a long time to catch up. he chases, he begs. he tries to bring her back, and it takes all of s9 for him to stop and think: who is tex? what does she want? if someone gave her a choice for the first time ever, who will she be? and the answer is what she was. dead. she wants to stop being a ghost. she wants to disappear and be forgotten. and when church finds beta, he says "we used to be close" and tells her goodbye. when tex found alpha, two episodes previously, she said "we used to be together"– she defines their intimacy, even in its literality– and told him goodbye. they both hate goodbyes. they say it anyway

and THEN! it's the end of rvb, the end of restoration. this version of church is through so many iterations– the director made the alpha who grew into church, who had to be distilled into epsilon, who evolved and learned and died the hero. this version of tex, as she tells meta-tucker, is not the director's memories of her death– her failure– but the memories of the reds and blues, who know her only as herself, a ball-destroying ass-kicking mean-mugging son of a bitch. and with the help of carolina, her daughter, who has finally outgrown the fear of saying goodbye, they win. this version of church is able to understand, willing to be led by her, cared for by her, learn from her. this version of tex is able to do that. they can both rest. their teams can say goodbye

it's just so goddamn much, man. i'm not sure if i've talked myself into liking the church/tex ending of restoration but i'm savoring it like a dog with a bone rn. i once saw a pic of them overlaid with the text "how do you say goodbye to someone who's already gone?" and we got an answer: you don't. you say hello. you say, we have all the time we need. you say, let me tell you all about it

[theflyindutchwoman]

I just wanted to drop a quick message and say how much I adore your Anatomy of a Scene series. I've only just gotten into this fandom in the past week or so, I guess the youtube shorts algorithm sensed I was overdue a new ship to obsess over. I watched all the Chenford scenes first, read a ton of fanfiction, and now I'm only actually just starting to watch the series properly - I'm doing everything backwards and it's equal parts reassuring and gutting. I know about S6 Chenford so I don't have that coming to me as a horrible surprise, but I also now have to bear witness to the historical archives of a fandom going through so many different emotions without realising what's coming for them. I want to shout at the past versions of you all to brace yourselves! Watching through the show from the start is pretty sobering too - I have to keep catching myself while watching the cute moments, to remember there's worse yet to come. Also being 'caught up' on a show still airing is the worst. I promised I'd never watch a show again until it finished airing after suffering through FitzSimmons angst week after torturous week for 7 years ^_^ my little shipper heart can't take the uncertainty. Anyway, ramble aside, your Anatomy series has been utterly beautiful and so insightful thus far. Your writing style, even for something like this, is so reassuring and eloquently gentle. Affirming things I'd already noticed, and gifting me the many things I'd missed. I know a S6 Anatomy will be...messy, but your insight into it (if you are doing one, it'd be understandable if you didn't want to) will always be a blessing. Here's to a better S7 for our little lovesick idiots who need copious amounts of therapy and cuddles (let's face it, the fandom needs this too rn. thanks, writers).

You're awesome <3

OMG, thank you so much! And welcome to the fandom! I hope you will join us in this little corner once you are caught up with the show - or before then. Things are a bit calm at the moment due to the long hiatus but don't hesitate to share with us your thoughts and reactions as you watch the show. It's always exciting to read comments from people who are discovering the show… it kind of feels like a trip down memory lane :) On the bright side, you have plenty of time to catch up before we go through the roller-coaster of s7 together!

Thank you so much for taking the time to send me this sweet message ᡣ𐭩 You absolutely made my day. I actually started them as a way to keep myself busy and help keep the fandom alive during last year's long hiatus. I can't gif or write stories so I wrote those. I just never expected that so many would read them - or to write so many, either. So thank you, that means a lot to me… especially because I haven't started writing anything for S6 yet… I want to. But I just can't bring myself to rewatch this season quite yet, it still feels too fresh. And to tell you the truth, I'm not really sure I have that much insights to bring… It's been a little daunting thus far and it's also why your message was a real balm for my heart ;)

YOU are awesome ᥫ᭡

[tablefourtyone]

Taking a trip down colorism's memory lane after the Natlan teaser, and why I'm not as bothered as I used to be.

I know everyone's got complaints about Natlan's "sunlight challenged" cast rn, but I remembered getting annoyed that Kaeya and Xinyan were the only dark skinned playables ingame before Sumeru dropped, because they were the only dark skinned characters we ever saw in the game, like they were an endangered species whose descendants are constantly under the threat of being whitewashed.

I could've had a similar issue to having (so far) four dark skinned Sumeru natives as playables, but I just loved the lore in Sumeru sm that I didn't care about the number, especially when Sumeru's end goal/epilogue was to facilitate opportunities for education and improved livelihoods for the desert people. Ntm that all four are lovely personalities I adore with all my heart.

And as I write all this...

I suddenly realize that it wasn't the lack of skin color variety or even the climate-related skin pigmentation inaccuracy that was bothering me back then. These were nitpicks and pet peeves I had in light of not finding anything genuinely interesting or charming about the game.

In general, I was just...so gd bored of the filler-y vibe of the first 3 nations before Sumeru - because I knew what to expect of Liyue (China), Mondstadt stopped being so interesting once Dvalin came to his senses, and Inazuma was such a huge timewaster I hated with a seething fury that I even disdainfully called it Weeaboo Land.

My Genshin gaming experience before Sumeru was a toxic meringue of mediocrity and lazy writing that I would force myself to sit through, because there were plenty of other characters and lore that kept me riveted, but the creative direction of the game's main story itself was threatening to put me to sleep because things would get dramatic, only to be resolved either by a deus ex machina or by nothing of lasting consequence sticking around long enough to be a genuine cause for concern with the main cast. It was just so...meaningless.

IOW, the colorism in Genshin was the tip of the iceberg for every other thing I found offensive, unreasonable, and unjustifiable about the game.

Sumeru was my first breath of fresh air since we left Mondstadt and Venti.

All I'm trying to say is, to me, the quality of the writing and the atmosphere of the game improved vastly...only when Hoyo was able to broaden its cultural horizons while working on Sumeru.

I can't speak for Fontaine because it was a thoroughly mixed bag of good and bland toast, but it definitely ended strong with Canticles of Harmony.

If Natlan can pull off the same quality of writing skill and world building (and this completely depends on their lead writer for this region), the colorism is no issue for me at all.

It's a hot take, but after what I've been through as someone who wants consistent and comprehensible writing to appear more frequently in future updates, I'm just happy for the writing to make sense and have just a little bit more fun and non-tonedeaf whimsy once in a while.

I simply don't want to be unhappy as a longtime Genshin player.

I want to enjoy this game and explore it and have fun without getting hung up on something.

Ergo I don't want to be exhausted seeing every contradiction and plothole in Genshin jump out at me.

I can't turn my brain off to those, the same way people can't ignore the colorism and misrepresentation on display.

We all have our priorities, and the written content is mine.

So understand that, for me, Himeko's Mavuika's fair complexion and the slight shade of dark tanning that doesn't go all the way up in saturation for the new cast, is only second to the writing for Natlan's situation and its background lore. And I truly wish that when we reach 5.0, the writing captivates us all.

I'm not asking for much. Just sense. And less cynicism and malice from our two spotlight characters. Because it honest to God drains my energy to hate on something that Hoyo treasures and milks a lot.

[birf]

if you wanna take a trip down memory lane with 2013-2015 aesthetic/anime/grunge/pastel tumblr, I’m clearing out the likes from those years on my old blog @birffed and rn it’s loaded up

(all the reblogs from the past 3 years on it too are from that era as well)

[riverwithoutbanks]

Having a trip down memory lane rn and reading statements made after 15x18 aired to make the contradiction post I promised last month. Jackles im in your fucking walls. Also I love how we went from ‘it’s angelic love, no human so no homo! Rogue translator am I right?’ To ‘Also, Cas is gay and Dean is a dickhead for not having answered and yeah he would have said I love you too’ (we’ll, for that last one, jackles still was like ‘not sexual though! I (dean, a perfectly adjusted individual) would have kissed him with tongue platonically’.

I’m exaggerating, but I’d love for Jackles to take a stand. I don’t understand why his and Misha’s reaction and words are so different considering that… they’ve talked about it? They still do I assume? I’ve read several time people saying that Jackles tries to just make everyone happy and it’s true that I’ve observed that his statements on the matter seem to vary depending on who he is with when addressing it. (Ex: when he’s with Misha or Danneel (👑 I love to see that the part of the fandom I’m in is normal about her and recognise how much of queen she is unlike some other fandoms I’ve been in in the past btw) vs when he’s with JarPad).

I can see where he’s coming from, but it doesn’t mean I like it. Maybe he truly is conflicted on the matter which is completely understandable considering the culture and environment he works in. He isn’t a big enough actor to just do whatever, but he’s still too popular in certain circles for it not to impact his career, especially considering for how long he played Dean. It’s the foundation of his resume. Maybe it’s just people pleasing. Maybe we’re just reading too much into it. Fuck if I know.

I really don’t know what to think. Tbh, The Winchesters had me convinced of the Jackles long con for a bit, but now we’ll most likely never know for sure.

Fortunately this fandom is full of talented writers giving us the endings we deserve <3

(Also Misha please drop the tell all I beg you. And whilst you’re at it, find a way to leak the tapes. I’m counting on you <33)

[twisted-tales-told]

18 + 24!

HI RAE

Hope ur not suffering too bad with the supernatural episode rn

This ask game

18. How many wips do you have right now

I have 3! I always have 3 no matter what I do, but I’m only posting In Our Midst because it has been too long since I updated it and this felt like the cheat code to beating my adhd and it’s working so far! New chapter should be up within a week!

As for 24. Favourite fic I read this year

I’ve read so many good fics

But I think here’s looking at you kid by @sophsicle truly takes the cake. I am not much of a golden trio reader, but ever since I read this one I have been. It changed my world in such a sweet & soft way.

BUT a very close second is En Avant by bluerosebouquet as well as its sequel En Dedans which has 2 more chapters to go and I gotta say my heart is gonna miss it so so much when it’s over. I’ve been following this fic since En Avant had about 6 chapters in it, and I remember the exact moment I found it on a bus on my way to my 8am class.

Wait also also also if I saw him I’d still kiss him by Robbies_Restroom

I read this fic for 12 hours straight it tore me apart and sewed me back together. Literally 2pm - 2am I only stopped when my body demanded to be fed

Ohmygod this has been a trip down memory lane I feel so nostalgic now

[clawbehavior]

Hello, I hope you are having a lovely day/night 💞🌷🏵️🍵

For the ao3 wrapped:

11,12,15,18

omg these asks led me on a trip down memory lane and made me so excited for my biggest WIP (which has also been a pain in my ass), so tysm for sending them anon ❤️❤️🙏

11. What work took you the longest to write?

hands down 'everything everywhere all at once', my modern au where gaon drops out of law school when his parents die and falls for their private money lender, kyh, against his better instincts. here's the funny thing: i intended to complete in one one week with 3 chapters published in 3 days!! i started it in January 2023, nearly a year ago. 

i love this story so much. i wanted to write a gentle kyh for gaon so badly, but that's difficult to do for canon unless i wrote them post-canon. so i made an angsty au. this story was also my first true foray into FF writing on a03 years and years after i had put content creation aside, and the story ended up becoming a gateway to a totally new side of TDJ fandom. people share so many beautiful ideas about the lawful family in their story comments that fic writing feels like a rich conversation. so many times i have written gahan one way to read somebody's thoughts in the comments and go ahhhh i didn't even think of that. hearing people's perspectives has been such a rewarding and crucial piece of writing bc i am a person who works best when sounding ideas off another. 

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

straight for the heart, lmao. i have three, all 95 per cent ready for publication, in that the story is fully written out and the dialogue is completely polished in some areas but i am missing a key part that's critical for bringing the story together. it's too clunky basically. 

for example, when i was writing 'i hope you are lonely' the sex tape fic, i had everything written except a single scene: i couldn't figure out how gaon publicly responded to the tape. this was a crucial part of the story because his emotion would set the tone for how comfortable he felt expressing sexual desire for yohan and thus the progression of their relationship. was he hurt and afraid? angry and sexually frustrated? wanting revenge or to move on? and how did all those emotions shape what he asked yohan for, a man who would give him whatever he wanted. so this nearly complete draft was sitting in my GD for weeks until a reader asked me when i was updating and while i was typing out everything above just how i wrote it for you some part of my brain suddenly woke up and came up with a solution. i published the fic the next day. 

all this to say that the 3 stories i have lined up for publication are experiencing the same thing. basically polished except for oooooone thing. i need to tease out what a character feels about a specific event to successfully build the tension until it ratchets up to unbearable levels and needs to be released right the fuck now, i.e. theyre going to talk about it or fuck it out or whatever. but until that piece comes to me....these fics remain in the drafts. who knows tho, maybe after this a03 wrapped my ADHD brain will pop back in and do it's darned job. 

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

all of them! i don't publish a multi chap unless i have the ending written. otherwise it stays a oneshot. rn i am excited for i hope you are lonely, elevator troubles, and everything everywhere all at once.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

isaac! i actually didn't realize this until you asked me in concrete terms, so thanks for helping me articulate the writing block i am having. it's the kang isaac in my money lender au. he does something that has significant consequences but needs plausible deniability for the story to work. i can't nail down why he does it tho. he meddles, and he's foolish and he causes trouble but not vindictively or deliberately. his heart is in the right place, but how do i write him without overly abusing the trope of the good guy who bumbled his way into something wrong? now that i'm asking myself this specific question, i may come up with an answer. 

thinking through this was loads of fun and a perfect way to spend lunch break pfft. you have yourself a good weekend 🎉🎉🥳🎉🎊🎉🥳

[nostalgiatrip2010]

Hi there!!

I was on a trip down memory lane some time ago and came across my old drawings!! All my TFP OC's that I had completely forgotten about until now.

These are cringe af looking back now, a good half of these I traced from actually talented artists I found on google (If you were into Steven Universe back in the day, you'll probs recognise the three I traced) and the rest are poorly made kiddy sketches.

But now.... I wanna try something out. So, we were all kids at one point right? We all had our favourite show or film series where we made up our own characters for fun, right? Well, I have two particular OC's from Transformers Prime that have always kinda stuck with me.

These two; Shatter & Darkshadow (all humanformers coz I couldn't and still can't draw robots to save my life)

They were my first OC's for the transformers fandom and the only two I've really done the most work with in terms of fleshing them out as individual characters. I won't get into their backstories rn, coz we'll be here forever and I've already dragged this note on enough.

I wanna dedicate this blog to mostly them. I'm currently saving up to buy a tablet for digital art so I can try my hand in new art styles, improving my writing skills and in general just push myself out of my comfort zone.

I know this was a long note, but i hope you'll stick around for this journey and take some joy out of my nostalgia trip 😊

Thank you for reading and if you have a question about anything, plz feel free to lemme know and I'll do my best to answer

[penname-tbd]

oh hey i forgot that we can crowdsource bad decision making on here now

*ASH was my main WIP from middle school to high school, it's about a girl named Astrid with regenerative healing powers who gets kidnapped and experimented on, basically

pros of rereading: a fun, if not a little cringey, trip down memory lane; a lot of "oh holy shit i forgot i wrote that"

cons of rereading: it's 500 pages so it's gonna take forever; i'm in school rn and i'm supposed to be reading other things

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Hey! Anti-snily anon with his life updates again

I turned 18, 4 days ago, and I'm planning on proposing to my partner of 6 years, (we met at 12 years old, the relationship was meant as a joke, but as we got older we started catching feelings for each other.) I'm overall an awkward guy and I kind of need help on how to do it

(Of course we're not gonna get married at 18, we're probably gonna wait till we're both 19 or something) So yeah, any ideas?

OMGGGGG

1) HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!!

2) OMGGG YOU’RE PROPOSING!? AAAHHHHHH IM TEARING UP

And you came to me for advice!? *sobs*

I’m like an excited mother looking up proposal ideas rn as I type this

Ok I made a list!

If you know how to cook, make them dinner and pop the question then! It can be something simple they like to eat!

Nature trail! Going on a walk together and enjoying nature is always nice. Find a nice spot where there’s nobody around and BAM 💥 UGH THE BEAUTY

If you have the ring already, have them “accidentally” find it (ofc be there when they find it). Then act all surprised then smootthllyyy slide the proposal in there 😉😏

Where did you first meet? Take a literal trip down memory lane and do it there!

Find the most sweet and romantic movie possible. Put it on and act like y’all are just watching a movie. Then on the most romantic part, get cheesy. I know you have a sense of humor, and a cheesy proposal is a proposal to remember. Imagine:

“Aw that’s beautiful…it makes me wanna get married🥺……..👀💍”

6. Movie theater. It’s a classic that can’t be beat IMO. Take them to a movie they’ve been dying to see, watch the movie like normal, then close to the end, if you already have a ring, put it on top on the popcorn…then just whisper: “what’s that on the popcorn👀💍” (I’m not responsible for any screaming done in the movie theater😌)

7. Coke bottles. You know the coke bottles that have a word on each one? Find one that says their name, then “Will. You. Marry. Me”… put them in the refrigerator for them to find. How adorable is that!?

Ok that’s all I got. Can you tell I’m a cheesy person? 😂

I’m so happy for you, luv!!🥺💚

[silverlightqueen]

hey! i just read your "prom committee" series and i must say, i thoroughly enjoyed the absolute ride that it was. i was school captain in hs (head girl) and planned a similar event with our brother school; i got really close to the four others i worked with, one of the guys from the brother school i grew a major crush on (maybe not even over him yet after almost 2 years👀) - i just wanted to thank you for a thrilling story and letting me reminisce what was a truly beautiful end of hs years :)

omg stop it rn how cute!!!

i’m so happy the fic could take you on a lil trip down memory lane 🥹🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[boutarou-the-pirate]

sorry to my followers who follow me for anything consistent im taking a trip down dilf memory lane and having the time of my life rn

[chrismcshell]

who else has had this song burned deeply in their brain for over 20 years

[lakemichigans]

i seriously cannot stop listening to halsey badlands like it's 2015 and i just ended my tumultuous relationship with my high school not-boyfriend who sells weed behind the bleachers and says he'll kill himself if i leave him