#taking another page out of Ava's book | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kendrene · 2 years

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oooOOOOOOH how's about avatrice with "You’re so warm.” ?? :)

The paper is thin under the pads of her fingers.

Ava smooths it flat against the surface of the table, holding it there. Presses hard enough she can feel the ridges of the old wood through it, where age and neglect chipped the paint job away. Her thumb catches against a deep groove. Some past accident. The table meeting a knife.

She pushes down harder. Her fingers, her hand, all the way to her elbow it’s just one big ache. She aches all over today. Then again, she hurts all over most days. Her free hand scrambles past a stack of unused paper for the pencil she’d let go to shake off a cramp. It skidded far across that sea of white and Ava is forced to stretch, bow over the table in order to grasp it. The motion tilts her halfway out the chair, which rolls back; Ava shifts her hips forward and sets herself back to her task.

The book she's copying words from is the one Bea had gotten for her second-hand the first and last time they were here. The apartment is the same too, down to leaking pipe beneath the sink Beatrice still hasn't figured out how to fix.

It's Ava who's different. And everything else that has changed.

In the textbook, rows upon rows of German words and phrases march alongside their Portuguese counterparts. It had taken several tries for Beatrice to find it, days of scouring flea markets in the small towns nearby. Sometimes alone, most often with Hans.

“It’ll be easier to learn if you build up from your native language.” She explained after Ava had pointed out an English to German book would have worked just as fine. It had been. Easy.

Except now it’s hard.

Today’s lesson is about the items used in the kitchen. Der Wasserkocher, Ava writes diligently, eyes flicking to the battered red tea kettle sitting on the stove. Der Ofen, she adds on a whim. Even though it isn’t in the book, she knows the German word for stove.

She’s about to write down the word for dishwashing detergent, which is long winded and sputtery both in letter count and in sound, when another cramp hits.

This is the worst one so far. It starts at her fingers, trailing up from her hand to the hinge of her wrist in increasingly powerful waves. Ava’s entire arm seizes. She watches her hand contract like it isn’t her own. Clench, release, tighten, release. The final shock has the pencil tear a hole through the last, half-written word, then snap against her palm.

Ava sucks in a breath at the sting. A sharp fragment of wood scores in her skin. She wills her hand to relax so she can take a look at the damage, but it’s an impossible ask, as though her internal wiring has been cut. Ava thinks about her fingers uncurling, face fixed in a frown. Thinks about it so hard she makes herself dizzy. Her hand stays exactly the same, and droplets vivid red, more viscous than ink, patter down on the page.

The rest starts while she watches the droplets expand. Ava knows, logically, that she’s not bleeding that much. Wherever she looks, though, she sees red. Red kettle, red microwave, old red radio on top of the fridge.

Ava closes her eyes, or maybe it’s her vision that crawls dark at the edges. There is a shift, a tilt to her axis, and the next thing she is aware of is her cheek, bruised, pressing against linoleum warmed by the sun.

“Ava?” Beatrice calls, voice uncertain, from what could be the opposite side of the world. “Ava I heard a noise. Are you —?” Ava blinks hard. Next to her, one of the chair’s rear wheels revolves slowly. “Ava?” Beatrice again. Closer. “Do you need me to — oh.”

Strong hands cup beneath her armpits. Lifting, pushing, pulling away. Ava’s world spins with the faltering speed of a merry-go-round that’s finally come to a stop, and she finds herself propped against something that is, at once, solid and soft.

“Hey.” Beatrice’s lips are pressed to the shell of her ear, mouth half slanted in the hair behind it. “Ava, I think that you’re having a panic attack. I’m going to put my arms around you now. I don’t want you falling again. Is that okay?”

Ava just nods.

She feels as battered and old as this house, where some things are broken and others don’t work like they should. Her body isn’t even her own anymore; she’s along for the ride, but doesn’t control it. Walking and running — something as stupid as writing. She can’t seem to be able to consistently do any of it anymore.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Beatrice’s arms wind around her middle and she’s rocking the two of them gently, back and forth, in time with the sobs Ava hadn’t even realized are shaking her shoulders. “It’s alright.” One of Beatrice’s hand worms its way under her shirt, to the spot where the Halo sits heavy and idle and so very cold. “Just breathe with me. Do you think you can do that?”

Beatrice takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly. “Like so. Now we do it together okay? On my count. One. Two —”

On three Ava opens her mouth. The first breath is torturous, like pulling in air through a straw. It doesn’t help that her nose is runny and clogged, and that the hand she lifts up to wipe it only makes it as far as her chest.

“Here.” Beatrice’s fingers guide hers around a handkerchief she must have had in her pocket, then help Ava bring it to her nose. The fabric is the kind of soft that comes with a lot of washing and the pattern — Ava thinks it was once a herd of stylized galloping horses — is pretty much gone. She blows her nose, and the next breath she takes comes a bit easier.

“Better?”

“I think so.” Her voice still feels off, as if she’s speaking a language she doesn’t quite know. Ava fights down another sob. “I don’t know.”

“Okay.” Beatrice scoots them backwards so that they’re further away from the table and fully sit in the sun. Ava watches her legs trail along; she’s starting to regain a measure of feeling, and with it comes the pain from her fall. It will be a while until they can move, longer until she can heave herself up on the wheelchair on her own. If she’s lucky, tomorrow will be a good day and she’ll be able to walk. If she’s lucky.

Lately, she’s not been very lucky at all.

“Have you heard of the 3-3-3 rule?” Beatrice asks, breath a warm wash against the side of Ava’s throat. Her hands have never stopped moving. One splays over the Halo, steady and grounding. The other covers Ava’s nerveless fingers, thumb tracing the network of veins at her wrist, that look bluish-black in the sun.

“I know the 5 seconds one.”

Beatrice snorts. It tickles.

“That’ll do. Can you tell me three foods that you like then, Ava?”

Ava frowns. She’s starting to come back to herself, and with her mind clearing up and the fear wearing away it’s easy to see what Beatrice is doing.

“I know what you’re doing.”

“Then humor me, please?” The hand at her back pauses, and a hum rises from under Ava’s skin in response. It’s nothing. It’s nothing. The Halo has barely kept her alive as it is. Ava tries not to get her hopes up. She did at the start, after she came back through the Arc, and it was a big disappointment.

She can’t afford to get hurt that way, not again. She wouldn’t survive.

“Ugh, fine.” Afternoon sunlight, buttery smooth, streams in through the window, coating the entire world gold. “Mint chocolate chip ice cream.”

“You have horrible taste, but go on.”

“Tacos al pastor.”

“Okay, I can get behind those.” The hand on her back travels lower, following the ridges, the dips of her spine, and Ava feels it again. The tiniest hum, a buzzing. It’s almost a sigh. “What’s the third food?”

“You.”

The hand falls away. Beatrice’s arms around Ava tighten. Chin hooked over Ava’s shoulder , she rests her head there for a beat, face naturally tilting into the space between collarbone and jaw like a comet unable to resist a planet’s orbit.

“Ava.” A flash of heat spreads across Ava’s back, and she can’t tell whether it comes from the Halo or if Beatrice is blushing.

“What?”

“I just —” Bea smiles against her shoulder, plants a kiss there. “I’m not very nutritious, calories wise.”

“True.” Ava twists around in Bea’s arms, makes herself comfortable there. Given a choice, she’ll stay like this for the rest of the day. “But you’re tasty.”

Beatrice clears her throat. “We should get you off the floor.” She suggests, deflecting. Her gaze cuts away to the floor, and she swallows. Ava will never tire of it, of how even the slightest flirting will have Beatrice in knots. Of how she’ll swallow, cheeks suffused red, pulse racing, near visible, under the cut of her jaw.

“Wait.” Ava digs in, hand gripping the front of Bea’s light pullover. She sways forward and in, and her lips brush on purpose right at Bea’s throat. Her heart pounds so fast Ava can taste it. Or maybe it’s her own. “Can we stay here a while longer? You’re so warm.”

Beatrice pulls back to look at her, mouth quirking into a bigger smile.

“We can stay here a while.”

“Die Schwester” Lilith has picked up Ava’s textbook after dinner and is making her way through some words, mangling them all.

“Your German is terrible.”

“My German is perfect, thank you very much. It’s simply accented.”

“Whatever. Give me my book back.” Ava braces one elbow against the wheelchair’s armrest and stretches up, the other arm fully extended. Lilith puts the book down, just out of reach.

“I’m so gonna run you over.”

Lilith scoffs. “And how do you plan to do that?”

“We’re in the Alps. I’m going to wait until you’re on an incline, then let gravity do the rest.”

“Sure.”

Lilith phases. Reappears behind Ava a second later to help her closer to the table where Camila and Mary are setting the pizza they ordered for dinner on plates.

“Why are you learning family vocabulary anyway? You and Bea are pretty fluent already.”

“I’m not.” Ignoring the plates, Ava grabs for the box of pizzawitheverythingonit nobody else has the stomach to touch. The first bite is delicious but hot. Ava juggles the food in her mouth, speaking around it. “I have the best family ever already.”

Everything’s changed.

Nothing is ever the same.

Ava will not walk today and she may not walk tomorrow. But as the sky fades to black and they crowd on the old couch, fighting over whose turn it is to pick a movie, Ava thinks change is alright.

#warrior nun #avatrice #ava silva #sister beatrice #ava x beatrice #I have to do the positive disabled!ava representation around here #dren writes

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strawberrym1ko · 2 months

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DATING PERICE HEADCANONS

ᯓ★ CHARACTERS: Pierce

ㅤᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 SYNOPOSIS ― Personal headcanons on dating Pierce from My Inner Demonsㅤᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 B.C ― Author having favouritism. Writing Pierce as the man he is. Tooth-rotting fluff. Author being heavily single

M.LIST || APHMAU M.LIST

ㅤ↳ You can not tell me this man isn't into physical touch. But not like heavy PDA or constantly touching you, but in the sense that if you two were cuddling, you would always be sleeping on his chest, his arms wrapped loosely around your form. Or the pinkie finger holds when you guys are out in public, or lingering behind your figure, a hand on your waist. Just the subtle things. That I would personally kill for-

ㅤ↳ Another thing thats a big part of your relationship, are headpats. We know this man believes headpats resolve everything, because lets be real. They do. Sad? Headpats. Argument? headpats (This one in particular is funny and works the most because you'll stand there so confused you forget your argument). Just random cuddling? Headpats. And it puts you to sleep, so win win.

ㅤ↳ When he discovers what slow-dancing is from a movie both you and Ava were watching, he would ask Ava about it and to teach him. So, when your playing those types of music, he could surprise you with his knowledge and dance in the kitchen late at night with you.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ↳ Ava took a photo-

ㅤ↳ Park walks. He gives me those vibes. Especially at sunset and at night time. It started with you going to the shop and asking him to tag along because female at night is a massive no no. So, he did and rather enjoyed the walk and conversation (it was mainly you yapping). After that he asked you if yous could do it again and it became a little weekly routine. Once or twice a week you two will go walk through the park.

ㅤ↳ Scary dog privilege. Thanks for listening to my ted talk-

ㅤ↳ You are the yapper of the relationship. He likes it. He would much rather sit down and listen to you ramble on about anything and everything. Listening to your voice for him is like listening to an angel forgive him for all that he has done back in Daemos. Like he wasn't this cold-blooded killer that had no shot of redemption. But listening to you talk about your desires, dreams and deepest secrets to him makes him believe that the gods were giving him another shot.

ㅤ↳ Because he likes to listen to your voice, I believe that if your a reader, he would enjoy it when your reading out loud to him. On your bed, all cuddled up against him with your book in hand and your voice repeating the words on the page.

ㅤ↳ I'm slowly running out.

ㅤ↳ Lets you do his hair from time to time

ㅤ↳ Loves it when you trace his tattoos or get skin-friendly markers and draw in the gaps on his tattoos

ㅤ↳ Baths together (because he still doesn't know what the fuck he is doing)

ㅤ↳ Bathing to him is a very vulnerable thing due to the scars of war scattered around his body. You accidentally stumbled in the bathroom while he was taking a bath once. He mainly sat frozen, not the response he was used to. Afraid you would ask him about the scars, about his past. But, you didn't. Instead you sat on the edge of the tub, taking the shampoo from the corner of the tub. "Need help?" You asked. Pierce nodded his head. You didn't completely ignore his scars, later on asking if you could touch them, but you approached it with such gentleness, a sort of gentleness he never experience before, that he started to crave for it.

#˚. ੈ Miko Headcanons #my inner demons #my inner demons x reader #MID Pierce #My Inner Demons Pierce #MID Pierce x reader #My Inner Demons Pierce x reader #MID Pierce headcanons #My Inner Demons Pierce headcanons

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centralperkchenford · 1 year

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Oooo another Ava fic idea but this one is Tim and Lucy come up with her name

I accidentally deleted this prompt 😅. I am so sorry, but I loved writing this one! Also there is a slight Friends reference in this.

You are the sunshine of my life, baby

“How about Lily?” Tim asks Lucy. She makes a face and shakes her head.

“It sounds too much like Lucy.” She says.

Tim gives her an amused look and sighs heavily. “Baby, when will she ever call you Lucy?” He asks her. She sighs loudly her shoulders dropping a little. Tim reaches out to rub them.

They were trying to pick out a name for their daughter who was due in about 2.5 months. Ever since they found out they were having a girl, Lucy had been buying all the girly stuff. And they had everything ready for her. A crib, a rocking chair, all the clothes and everything else a newborn would need.

Tim felt prepared and he was so proud for having everything ready for their baby girl. And then Angela had asked him what they were naming her and he felt like they had taken ten steps back.

“What about Sadie?” Lucy asks him bringing Tim out of his thoughts. This time Tim made a face.

“Sadie Bradford?” He says and Lucy sighs and falls back against the couch holding her stomach.

“She should just name herself.” Lucy grumbles and Tim laughs as he goes to kiss her on the cheek and then he places his hand on top of hers. He still can’t believe he’s going to be a dad in 2.5 months. He’s going to have a daughter. He would have been happy with a boy or a girl, but he knew deep down that his first child was meant to be a girl. And he couldn’t wait to meet her and hold her. If they could only just pick a name.

“What about Ruth?” Tim asks and Lucy turns to him her eyes wide.

“Ruth?” She asks in disbelief as if she can’t believe he just suggested that.

He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s a nice name.”

“Yes for an 89 year old.” Says Lucy shaking her head at him. He rolls his eye at her, he likes Ruth it’s a nice name.

“I want her to have a strong name, something she can be proud of.” Lucy says. She taps on her stomach and sighs loudly. She looks over at Tim, and squeezes his hand.

“We still have 2.5 months to pick out a name.” She says. “Let’s take a break.” Tim nods and motions her to come closer. She scoots over and lays her head on his shoulder.

“We will find the perfect name.” Lucy mumbles. Tim kisses her head and smiles to himself.

Yes they would find the perfect name. Eventually.

***

A few days later, Tim is sitting in his office when Lucy comes in holding a book. Before he can ask what book it is. She slams it on his desk, he looks down at it and tries not to wince.

Big Book of Baby names was written across the cover, above a baby who was grinning at him.

“Uhh.” He says looking at his wife. “What am I suppose to do with this?” Lucy jabs her finger on the cover.

“Look through it. Find five names you like and then we will say yes or no to them.” She says. He stares at the book suddenly feeling overwhelmed over a name.

“What about you?” He asks her. She chews on her bottom lip and then looks at him, her brown eyes searching his face.

“I already have my five names.” She says. “It’s your turn.” She comes around the desk to kiss him on the lips and then she turns around and leaves his office without another word.

Tim sighs and flips open the book. It opens to “A” names, he reads each name shaking his head at every single one.

He sighs as he flips through the book. He gets to the last A page and runs his finger down the page.

Lucy was right they needed to pick a name that fit their daughter and that she could grow up knowing it was a special name.

Ava

Avery

He runs his finger across Ava. It meant life and bird or birdlike. He writes Ava down on a piece of paper.

Ava

It’s simple and pretty, and it has nice meaning. He can see a little girl named Ava with pigtails running around and he can see a teenager and a young woman. He thinks it’s a name that will grow up with her.

He flips through the book some more and writes down names that he thinks might fly but Ava is still on his mind.

Ava Bradford

***

Later that night, Tim is laying on the couch waiting for Lucy to get home. Their shifts don’t always sync up and Lucy was working more hours trying to wrap up cases since she was going to go on maternity leave soon.

He closes his eyes and soon he found himself falling asleep.

He was in a hospital room, holding a baby in a blanket. He rocked the baby back and forth it. He and the baby were the only two in the room. He looks down at the baby and it’s a beautiful baby girl. She’s looking up at him with bright blue eyes so much like his. He smiles at her and whispers.

“Ava.”

He sways back and forth it, mumbling to the baby softly. The scene changes suddenly and he’s in his backyard and a little girl with darker hair and pigtails is running around him in circles. He laughs as he reaches out to grab her.

“Ava.” He says and the little girl giggles as the scene changes once again. This time it looks like he is sitting in a crowd at what looks like a high school graduation.

“Ava Bradford!” Is called and a teenager with dark hair, and blue eyes appears on stage.

Ava

Tim startles awake to someone shaking him gently. He looks up blearily to see Lucy bending over him smiling.

“Hi.” She says softly. “Good nap?” He nods his head and licks his lips before speaking, trying to piece together the dream he just had. Ava.

“Ava.” He says softly. Lucy looks at him curiously and tilts her head.

“What?” She asks. He sits up and lays his hand on her stomach where their daughter sleeps.

“Ava. Her name is Ava.” He says remembering the baby in the hospital room, the little girl with the pigtails and the teenager graduating. Ava.

Lucy stares at him and then places her hand on his. She plays with his fingers, “Ava.” She whispers. “I like it.”

Tim lets out a relieved breath as Ava gives a little kick. He smiles at the movement. “I think she likes it too.” He says softly.

Lucy grins at him running her fingers through his hair. “Ava Bradford. It’s perfect.” She says happily. “Now that wasn’t so hard was it? How did you come up with it?”

Tim shrugs his shoulders remembering his dream daughter. “I don’t know. I ran across it in that book and then I had a dream and it just stuck with me.” He answers.

Lucy smiles at him and sits next to him. “Now for a middle name.” She says laying her head down on his shoulder.

Tim groans loudly, and he hears Lucy laugh.

Well fuck.

“I’m going to leave that up to you.” He mumbles. “This whole naming a baby is stressful.” Lucy laughs again.

“Yeah but so worth it.” She says and his hand drops to her stomach again.

And that is something he can agree on. Ava is so with all the stress. He cannot wait to meet her.

Ava.

#chenford #the rookie #chenford fanfic #tim bradford #tim x lucy #lucy chen #chenford fic #anon answered

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miss-tc-nova · 5 months

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A Blanket for Brain - Brain

Here's the second fic I wrote for the Brain zine. It was a sweet story I got to collab on with the beautifully talented Raimu. Enjoy!

Premise: Brain falls asleep at his desk

Words: 1,472

~~~~~

Exhaustion seeps to the core of his bones. Fatigue hinders focus as his gaze drags across the page.

Things have been one hell of a roller coaster since Master Ava gave Brain the tome not rightfully his. From that moment, he’s spent countless hours poring over every page in hopes of finding even the smallest scrap of information that could change their fate.

Well, almost every page.

The corner of the paper inserted by the master herself barely peeks from behind the others. It taunts him, bringing him to the brink of breaking as it stokes his curiosity and desperation. But it’s a truth he knows he’s not ready to face yet.

These thoughts always lead to the same place: whether or not he should even trust Ava. Her kindness and gentle nature drew people to her. She didn’t see Unions; she saw people she could help. Yet she’d gone against the Master of Masters by giving Brain the book. Sure, it had been on the pretext of changing fate, but Brain can’t help questioning if that was the right choice.

A burn bleeds through his gut, disrupting his study and reminding him how hopeless he really is. His thoughts are always so consumed by finding salvation that the present often eludes him. Sleep and hunger are typically the first necessities neglected, but he’s also subjected his body to the elements in his musings—never really snapping out of his obsession until an outside force intervenes. He can’t even recall when his last meal was.

The clock ticking away on the wall tells him that lunch is still a few hours away. Sneaking down to the kitchen to steal a snack is tempting, except he’s not brave enough to endure a scolding from Skuld should he get caught.

So back into the book goes his nose. In spite of his determination, the burnout gets the better of Brain all the same. One moment he’s reading and re-reading the word “Darkness” and the next slips away his consciousness.

~~~~~

A gasp seizes his body. It takes a second, but Brain recognizes this room and it’s not a battlefield. Past his lips ghosts a groan. Joints protest the stretch that pulls them and he finally peels his face off the desk.

Once again, he managed to fall asleep in the middle of working. Even worse, once again, he had the same nightmare.

It’s been plaguing him ever since the war. Every time he looks at Ven, every time he observes the night sky, every time he sees that clearing outside the city—it’s all too easy for the guilt to overwhelm him. Out of all the strong warriors, only a handful had been chosen to continue the fight and he often wonders what made a coward like him worthy. Then he wonders if the others feel the same, but decides probably not.

That’s what drives the man to wrap himself in his work. He has to make himself useful, has to make up for the shameful way he acted back then—has to prove that maybe Ava wasn’t wrong about him. Maybe if he can figure out a way to change their fate, he might finally feel worth something.

But no matter how smart he is, Brain is a coward who—

No. He’s going down the rabbit hole again. He has to break the cycle before it drags him into another episode—like the one that kept him holed up in his room for two weeks after the war.

Heaving a sigh, the young man rubs at his face. Something brushes along his arm; he doesn’t remember grabbing a blanket—because he didn’t. Someone visited him in his sleep, but Brain hadn’t told anyone what he was doing or where. Being stumbled upon is much more likely than someone looking for him, surely, but even if that were the case, he can’t understand why they would care to cover him up.

The squelching gurgle reminds Brain that, before his nap, he’d been hungry and it’s only gotten worse. Lunch time has long since passed and dinner is on its way, but maybe he can snag something from the kitchen anyway.

Blanket wrapped snuggly around him, Brain wanders downstairs. The sound of chattering grows as he approaches the kitchen. The others are already here, sitting around the table and enjoying each other’s company.

Lauriam is the first to spot him. “There’s our sleeping beauty. Enjoy your nap?”

Pulling the blanket tighter, Brain glances away. His manner probably comes off as aloof; in reality, he just doesn’t know how to react. Dealing with other people was never his strong suit.

Ephemer waves him on. “Come join us. We’re just about to have dinner.”

There’s hesitation. The things he knows that they don’t skitter in the back of his mind. Their ignorance is the only reason they can be this cheerful. He’s not sure if it’s jealousy that weighs in his heart or pity.

A hand against his shoulder snaps him back and pushes the young man towards the table. Skuld does not look pleased. “Sit. If you’re not gonna take care of yourself, we’re gonna do it for you.”

With no room for arguing, Brain takes a seat, rubbing at weary eyes.

“Cozy there?”

He realizes Lauriam is speaking of the blanket. It must have been one of them that found him.

“It’s nice. Is it yours?”

“No, Ephemer donated it after we found you asleep at your desk.”

“’We?’”

The donor laughs. “We all spent the better part of an hour looking for you for lunch, but we figured it was probably best to let you sleep.”

“All…of you?” That’s a surprise. He expected as much from Skuld with her motherly instincts—maybe Ephemer if he was being generous—but to know that all of them had the heart to search him out baffles the young man.

“Yeah, you were missing,” Ven exaggerates.

“And Skuld was getting worried when you didn’t show for lunch.” Lauriam grins in the face of Skuld’s glare.

Fists meet the girl’s hips with a huff. “Well I hadn’t seen him eat anything since yesterday. Of course I was worried.”

“And that’s fair.” One of Lauriam’s fingers poke at Brain’s shoulder. “He’s not exactly a prime example of self-care.”

As the group banters, Brain just stares. He’s useless. He can’t name a single thing he’s actually done to contribute to this team and yet these people still go out of their way to include him. His attempt at working with others was expected to go over as well as keeping Chi-chi out of the catnip, but clearly, he was wrong. It’s as if they actually cared.

Oh.

“Gee, thanks guys.” The sarcasm is ingrained in his very being, though it’s laced with a sincerity that comes with his realization.

Fingers pinch at his cheek. “Is that a blush I see? Are you embarrassed?” Lauriam and that self-confidence of his are going to be the biggest obstacle.

Regardless, he’ll take a chance. “No, that’s just where I had my face mashed against the desk.”

“Fair. You were utterly dead to the world.”

Ven rats out the taller boy. “Lauriam wanted to draw a mustache on your face.”

Instantly suspicious, Brain leans away from the man with no shame. “Too bad Ephemer returned with that blanket by the time I found a marker that actually worked.”

“Speaking of, have you always had that mole?” Ephemer pokes Brain’s other cheek.

“What?!” A fist wipes furiously at his face.

With a toothy grin, Ephemer takes it back. “I’m just kidding.”

Brain’s eyes glance around at the laughing faces. Calm warmth washes over his heart, its magic dulling all the jagged self-loathing and trepidation that’s been festering for months. Normally a loner, Brain finds himself pleasantly content to bask in the presence of these people. He wants to hear more, listen to their laughter, see the smiles on their faces—he wants to be part of this.

So this is what it’s like to have friends.

“Y’all are rude,” he says flatly.

Again, they find hilarity in the situation and even Brain isn’t immune to the happiness pulling at his lips.

Maybe Ava was wrong about him, but at this point, it doesn’t matter. He’s here and there’s not much he can do to change that. Even so, he’s not alone. These four were able to overcome his flaws and show him a bit of friendship so they must be the key to their salvation. He’s not going to stop trying to find a way out of this mess, but maybe he can bring himself to trust these people, even if he has to do it a step at a time. They can help and, in return, maybe he can help them.

At least he’ll try.

#zines feat nova #kh brain

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bookhighlightss · 11 months

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Twisted series book review

☆ Twisted Love

1. This book was amazing. The plot twists will blow your brains out.

2. Alex Volkov. That's it. Just him. Like he is just amazing.

3. Pretty words and pretty faces don't equal pretty souls. This line. This. Freaking. Line. It had me crying.

4. Also the way he just walked her home for a year without them talking.....AAAAHHHH just everything in this book was amazing.

5. In book 2, 3 and 4 there relationship just was so pretty even if they were there for like 1 page.

☆ Twisted Games

1. I love the whole bodyguard princess thing like I'm here for it.

2. I read this book 1 year ago I don't remember the details well but I loved Rhys and Bridget.

3. The whole you and me against the world, princess was just so sweet and cute and asfkjhjilw

4. I love how Bridget just overall slays with her feminine energy as Queen and shit like slayyyyy

☆ Twisted Hate

1. Okay this book was hilarious. There were so many funny scenes and their back and forth bickering was just everything.

2. I also loved how josh and Alex became friends again in this book like we all knew they were gonna but the whole conversation was epic and alex asking for permission to marry ava was just beautiful.

3. The possibility of you is better than the reality of anyone else. This quote people it was just amazing. I was like dayum I need to take two minutes and scream.

4. Overall the plot was actually pretty lit in this book but the one thing I didn't like about this book was how they fucked every two pages literally but they were kinda friends with benefits but I'm a hopeless romantic so when I was expecting a cute angry confession I got an angry sex....

5. I also love how they actually struggle with money lowkey because all the other book the characters were loaded with cash so that was a bit realistic yk

☆ Twisted Lies

1. Omg when I tell you this book was perfection I mean this book was perfection. It was like Ana huang took all the critics and molded this book into perfection. It was everything.

2. The way Christian was obsessed with her from the moment he saw her but never labelled it as love but just everything he did was wow. I will worship this man he's amazing.

3. Touch another man, he dies. Let another man touch you, he dies. Tell me I can't touch you...and I die. This had me in a chokehold I was like.....AAAAHHHHHHHHH

4. Also the way all the other 3 men just made fun of Christian and the scenes where all the characters were together was just really funny.

5. I love how Christian was always there for Stella and supported her ❤ like asjdhrkjdhsk

Overall all the books are amazing. These people live rent free in my head. But the fact that all of them got a happy ending and are successful and shit is like probably the fakest shit ever but then again it's books so eh. But on a real note photographer, queen, lawyer and fashion designer like are ya kidding me??? And the diversity their friend group has like Asian, European, American like wow. I have to say I'm not a huge fan of the smut in the book but then again that's just my personal opinion a lot of other people loved the smut tho so idk. And can we talk about how all of them have the prettiest names ever??! My most to least favorite book would be

Twisted lies

Twisted love

Twisted hate

Twisted games

My most favourite to least favourite twisted men would be

Christian harper

Rhys Larsen

Alex volkov

Josh chen ( his I lied thing just set me off)

My most favourite to least favourite twisted women would be

Ava chen

Jules ambrose

Stella Alonso

Bridget von ascheberg ( I don't like her being last but I love those three way more )

Overall id give the series a 9/10

#books #highlighted #book review #booklr #book blog #book recommendations #twisted series #twisted love #twisted hate #twisted games #twisted lies #ana huang #alex and ava #christian and stella #josh and Jules #bridget and rhys

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lilacwisps · 2 years

Text

Eyes to wonder (tongues to praise)

Ship: Sebastian Sallow x Ravenclaw Female Player Character Rating: T

Summary: In which Sebastian eavesdrops on a conversation, jumps to conclusions, and almost makes a fool of himself, yet, somehow, still gets the girl.

ao3 link

Settled in a small alcove in the Slytherin Common Room, Sebastian thumbs impatiently through the fragile pages of The Secrets of the Darkest Arts. He'd stolen - borrowed- it from the Restricted Section of the library the night before, hoping to find something - anything - that could cure Anne. The book had promised to reveal the intricacies of the most complex curses but was yet to deliver anything useful - Sebastian is halfway through the tome and still hasn't found anything that could help his sister. Suppressing a frustrated sigh, Sebastian flips another page and focuses on the text.

Sebastian doesn't usually read the books he's borrowed from the Restricted Section in the common room, preferring the secrecy of the Undercroft or the silence of his dorm to the inevitable prying eyes and chatter in the commons. But this late October Friday afternoon is surprisingly warm, and the castle grounds are bathed in sunlight, and all the students have poured out into the courtyards, hoping to enjoy one last beautiful day before the weather inevitably takes a turn for the worse. As he is all alone in the common room, Sebastian figures there is no reason he couldn't read the book in his favorite alcove.

As Sebastian flips another page, he's startled by the sound of a door opening and closing in the distance. His hand reaches for his bookbag as he momentarily considers whether he should hide the tome before he realizes that the sound's coming from the direction of the dorms. With a sigh, Sebastian lets go of his bag - the route from the dorms to the exit doesn't pass directly by the alcove, so the chances of anyone seeing him are slim.

He's about to return to his reading when suddenly, he hears, "By the way, Imelda told me about your run-in with the new fifth-year earlier this week during the Beasts Class, and I am dying to know - is she as good at dueling as everyone claims she is?"

Sebastian rarely eavesdrops, but the words "new fifth-year" instantly get his attention, so he listens closer.

"Fortunately for her, it didn't come to that," Sebastian instantly recognizes Nicholas Nott's voice, "Howin was standing right there, watching everyone. Otherwise, she'd get a proper Hogwarts welcome."

Nott's companion, Henry Avery, laughs, and Sebastian rolls his eyes. Nott's always bragged about his dueling talent, but on the few occasions that Sebastian got to duel him, he'd found Nott to be utterly mediocre with the wand. Given how well Ava handled Sebastian himself during their Defense Against the Dark Arts class duel - and everyone at the Crossed Wands - Nott stood absolutely no chance. Nott was the lucky one that Professor Howin was keeping a close eye on the class - and it is almost amusing to Sebastian how much he doesn't realize it.

"I must say," Nott continues after a brief pause, "A spirited little thing that Rosier girl. And quite easy on the eyes too."

Sebastian's amusement melts away in an instant as an unfamiliar feeling uncoils in his chest. Sebastian would be lying if he said he'd never noticed that Ava was pretty - and, perhaps it should come as no surprise that Nott saw it too - yet, there's something about the casual brazenness of Nott's tone that makes Sebastian almost angry.

"Oh wow," Avery whistles, "Who would have thought she'd catch your eye! Davies will be all broken up over this when she finds out."

"Good then," Nott replies, "I am so tired of her. It was fun at first, but she'd grown so clingy in recent weeks. Won't leave me alone even in class - it is quite unbearable, honestly. The only peace and quiet I get these days is here, where she cannot follow. It's well past time to send her on her merry way - and if this does it, then all the better."

"Slowly working your way through all the Ravenclaw girls in our year, huh?" Avery laughs, "Oh, I have an idea - once you're through with all of them, you should consider ranking their…performance."

Sebastian slams the book in front of him shut. Anger, bright and bristling, rises in his chest, spilling liquid fire through his veins, making his heart pound in his ears. Avery would do well to watch his mouth - it takes almost all of Sebastian's willpower to stop himself from finding Avery and knocking his teeth out. But he had promised Ominis to try and stay out of trouble - at least for a little while - and so he clenches his fists till his knuckles are white and remain in his seat.

Sebastian does not expect Avery's words to get under his skin, but they do - after all, Ava is a close, dear friend, and he wants what's best for her. What other reason could there be for the white-hot rage blooming in his chest at the insinuation? Certainly not the way Sebastian's breath seems to catch in his throat whenever Ava meets his gaze or the way his heart flutters when his hand brushes against hers on accident as they walk side by side.

"A tempting thought, but I think I might stick with this one for a while," Nott chuckles, "Only if she learns to behave, of course. The way she'd comported herself in the Beasts class was quite unacceptable."

"I wouldn't count on it," Avery laughs, "From what I heard, your Rosier girl's rather difficult."

"There is a lot I'm willing to overlook for those dark doe eyes and that pretty pink mouth," Nott replies nonchalantly, "But certainly not everything. Luckily, I know just the way of teaching people their place."

"Now that's going to be interesting," Avery chuckles.

Blood rushes in Sebastian's ears, and his heart pounds rapidly against his ribs. Who does Nott think he is? Ava will never give him the time of day - not if Sebastian has anything to say about it. Somehow, the way Nott speaks of her so brazenly, the way he must have looked at her during the class - and Merlin knows when else - feels like a transgression - an almost personal offense. She isn't his speak of - or even think of - that way.

She isn't yours either, a voice in his head taunts.

"Are you sure you want to get involved?" Avery says suddenly, "I feel like things might get…messy."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nott asks coolly.

"Well, I've heard Reyes say that your Rosier girl is actually Sallow's little squeeze - apparently, they've been caught in flagrante the other night in some broom closet or another," Avery explains.

The memory brings hot blush to Sebastian's cheeks. A few nights ago, he and Ava tried sneaking into the Restricted Section to search for The Secrets of the Darkest Arts. Sebastian did not expect any trouble on their regular route but was in for a nasty surprise when he realized that prefects were stationed at both ends of the corridor. The only option to avoid getting caught right then was to hide and wait for the prefects to leave their posts to patrol - and the only available hideout was an old broom closet.

The closet in question turned out to be tiny - even leaning against opposite walls left hardly an inch of space between them. Sebastian's heart fluttered in his chest as he realized just how close they were, and suddenly, his whole body felt as though on fire. A part of him wanted to leave that very second to make sure he didn't do anything he shouldn't have - and yet another part of him never wanted that moment to end.

Sebastian's heart races as he remembers Ava's warm breath ghosting his neck as she whispered in his ear.

They were not doing anything untoward - or so Sebastian tells himself - but it seems the Hufflepuff prefect who caught them thought differently. And, apparently, she'd shared her conjectures with Imelda, at the very least.

"Reyes has no idea what she's talking about," Nott scoffs, "And you should know better than to trust such silly rumors. The girl is a Rosier - there's no way she'd be involved with a half-blood."

Sebastian rolls his eyes - before attending Hogwarts, he had no concept of the "blood purity" status. Both his parents were wizards - and Sebastian had always felt that was all anyone needed to know about him. As it turned out, however, he was wrong - his mother's parents were muggles, which made him a half-blood in the eyes of those who could trace their unbroken lineage of wizards to Merlin himself.

Sebastian always considered the concern with blood purity silly - it's not like having wizard parents and grandparents, and great-grandparents made his classmates stronger or more intelligent. Although some bloodlines carried impressive abilities - like Ominis's Parselmouth ability - those were few and far between.

"Imelda's pretty reliable when it comes to this sort of thing," Avery argues, but Nott just scoffs again.

"Even if it were true - and I'm sure it isn't - it won't take very long to show the Rosier girl that there are finer things in life than some orphaned half-blood."

"And if she doesn't listen?" Avery prods, "You did say she was quite spirited."

"In that case, I have this as insurance," Nott replies.

"Oh, so you are very serious about it," Avery whistles, "Well, then, this is going to be interesting."

"What can I say - I always play to win."

From the alcove, Sebastian cannot see Nott or Avery - so there is no way for him to find out what insurance Nott is talking about. A sudden memory comes to mind of a great scandal from last year when Gryffindor's Seeker unexpectedly dropped out of the team just two days before the Quidditch final and was later spotted with Nott all around the castle. Unable to find a replacement Seeker in time, Gryffindor suffered a crashing, catastrophic defeat, and Slytherin won the Quidditch cup for the third year in a row.

Instantly, the rumors swirled that a love potion may have been involved - persistent gossip plagued the school for the better part of two weeks until Headmaster Black personally interfered to put an end to them. Despite the headmaster's interference - and, perhaps, because of it - Sebastian was almost certain that the rumors were true. Knowing Nott, Sebastian wouldn't put it past him to bewitch the Gryffindor Seeker to ensure Slytherin's Quidditch victory - just as he wouldn't put it past Headmaster Black to cover up the ordeal. After all, Black had an extensive track record of showing favoritism to his friends' children, and from what Sebastian could tell, Nott's father was among those friends.

Could it be…?

Sebastian recalls the conversation between Nott and Avery, and the more he thinks of Nott's words, the more certain he becomes. That must be it! The "insurance" Nott's been talking about - he is going to give Ava a love potion. That bastard!

"Speaking of which," Nott continues, distracting Sebastian from his thoughts, "I have an appointment to keep. A little bird had told me that Rosier is in Hogsmeade now - and I'm going there to meet her."

"Good luck," Aver responds, "I'll be curious to hear how everything went once you return."

"Actually, I thought you might want to come along," Nott cuts him off, "She is with Pecul… with Poppy Sweeting, so I thought you could keep Poppy company while I talk to Rosier."

"Poppy Sweeting, huh?" the sudden shift in Avery's tone is almost unsettling, "Well then, I'm in."

The distant sounds of steps are followed by the rumbling of the stone snakes opening the door to the Slytherin Common Room, and Sebastian knows he needs to hurry. He absolutely cannot let Nott do whatever he is planning to do. Shoving The Secrets of the Darkest Arts into his book bag, Sebastian rushes to exit the Common Room, but before he can make it out, the door opens again, and in comes Ominis. There are a few small feathers on his shoulders and a couple in his hair, and Sebastian instantly knows that Ominis is coming back from Owlery.

"Sebastian," Ominis says, recognizing his steps instantly, "I was about to look for you."

"I don't have time right now, I need to get to Hogsmeade," Sebastian replies, "It's urgent."

"What happened?" Ominis asks, instantly frowning.

"It's Nott - he wants to sneak a love potion to Ava," Sebastian explains, shifting impatiently from foot to foot, "I cannot let that happen - I have to stop him before he does!"

"A love potion? Nott?" Ominis muses, confusion apparent on his face, "Wait, how would you know that - did he tell you?"

"He told Avery, and I overheard," Sebastian replies before adding, "Well, not in so many words, but what he said was essentially an admission of guilt."

"What do you mean?" Ominis asks, and Sebastian lets out an exasperated sigh.

"I can't explain now, I need to hurry," Sebastian says, frustrated, "What would be the fastest way to Hogsmeade?"

"Through the passage behind the statute of One Eyed Witch," Ominis says, "Unless, of course, something drastically changed since we've last taken that path."

"Thank you," Sebastian says, and he's about to rush past Ominis when his friend turns around.

"Wait," he says firmly, "I'll walk with you, and you can explain the situation to me."

Sebastian knows that arguing would be futile. They are out of the dungeons and almost at the statue of the One-Eyed witch by the time Sebastian finishes recounting Nott and Avery's conversation to Ominis.

"I still don't understand why you think Nott's trying to give Ava a love potion," Ominis says once Sebastian finishes his story, "Did I miss something?"

"Think, Ominis, think," Sebastian sighs, exasperated, "What could this insurance be if not a love potion?"

"Could be many different things," Ominis shrugs, "I don't know why a love potion was the first thing that came to your mind. Did you see anything?"

"No…But you don't understand - he's definitely planning to do it! And we need to protect Ava from whatever plan Nott's concocted," Sebastian argues, but Ominis cuts him off.

"Our new friend is perfectly capable of handling trolls and unforgivable curses," Ominis says, "Do you really think she needs help dealing with a dimwit like Nott?"

Sebastian frowns - Ominis isn't wrong, she's quite capable, and yet something inside is urging Sebastian forward. They stop in front of the Statue of the One-Eyed Witch.

"You know," Ominis tilts his head to the side as an amused smile spreads across his face, "From where I stand, it sounds like you just don't want a chap you hate asking a girl you like out on a date - which is understandable."

A hot, bright blush spreads across Sebastian's cheeks as warmth rises in his chest. The memory of Ava's breath ghosting his neck when they hid in the broom closet sends Sebastian's heart racing.

"It's not like that," he says hastily, "I only do this because she's my friend, and I care about her well-being."

"Could have fooled me," Ominis chuckles.

Sebastian rolls his eyes, then turns to the One-Eyed Witch Statue and murmurs, "Dissendium." A quick, creaking sound notifies him that the passage has opened.

"Wish me luck," he tells Ominis as he reaches for a ledge of the statue to climb up.

"What do you mean, "wish me luck"?" Ominis chuckles, "I have a feeling things are about to get very entertaining - and I have no intention of missing any of it."

"Suit yourself," Sebastian scoffs as he hops inside the statue. The slide is short, and soon enough, Sebastian finds himself in the dark tunnel leading to Honeydukes. A moment later, Ominis is standing by his side.

As they make their way through the passage, the conversation between Nott and Avery keeps running through Sebastian's mind - with one thing particularly gnawing at his heart.

"Ominis," Sebastian calls out in the dark, "I was curious about something… The Rosiers - what are they like? I'm sure you must have met some of Ava's relations at some point."

"An old, pure-blood family with a penchant for dark magic and a strong distaste for anyone who isn't pure-blooded. They view everyone who isn't a member of the "Sacred Twenty-Eight" as beneath them and utterly unworthy. That may be why my grandmother's favorite friend was a Rosier - they took great joy in tormenting muggle-borns and half-bloods alike."

A myriad of thoughts rush through Sebastian's mind, and it is as though something heavy squeezes his chest, making it hard to breathe. And, instead of a thousand things that cannot be put into words, he simply says, "But Ava isn't like that?"

"No," Ominis replies, "No, she isn't."

Poppy brings the mug to her lips and takes a long sip of butterbeer. She's utterly exhausted - she and Ava had spent the better part of the day scouting the hills north of the school in search of the poacher's camp. It seemed they were looking in the wrong place - or, perhaps, the poachers were much better at hiding their tracks than Poppy and Ava expected - since they hadn't found a single trace of the camp.

Exhausted by the futile search, Poppy and Ava made their way to Hogsmeade to rest and think through their next steps. Poppy has never been particularly fond of the Three Broomsticks - it always felt too loud and crowded - but she has slowly realized that, perhaps, it wasn't all bad when you had a friend by your side.

Looking over at Ava, Poppy smiles softly. When Poppy first met her in the Beasts class, Ava came off aloof and cold - but then Poppy saw how her gaze softened when she looked at the kneazles and instantly knew that she had met a kindred spirit.

Ava's sitting next to Poppy, absent-mindedly tracing the foggy sides of her mug with her right index finger. She seems relaxed, leaning fully against the back of her chair, yet her face remains pensive.

"What's on your mind?" Poppy asks, her eyes following the patterns Ava leaves on the mug.

"I'm still thinking about our earlier…excursion," Ava replies, turning to Poppy, "We were in the right place, I'm almost sure of it. It's not too difficult to relocate a camp - if only we could trace where they went."

"Wish we could ask the centaurs for help," Poppy sighs. While the centaurs were renowned for being quite well-versed at tracking, most of them avoided the wizardkind like the plague - and Poppy could not blame them.

"Oh?" Ava says, "Got any centaur friends that could help us?"

"Me?" Poppy chuckles, then sighs wistfully, "I wish. Unfortunately for us, they rarely make contact with humans."

"I think I remember reading something about that," Ava frowns, "But I figured if anyone had a centaur friend, it'd be you."

"When I make one, you'll be the first to know," Poppy laughs, taking another sip of her butterbeer, "There are so many magical creatures in the world - I wish I could meet and befriend all of them."

"I have full faith in you," Ava chuckles, shifting in her seat.

"What about you?" Poppy asks, resting her hand on her chin and looking at Ava, "Is there a magical creature you'd like to meet?"

Ava tilts her head to the side, pressing her finger to her lips, thinking. "Maybe a dragon," she says after a momentary pause, "Although I wouldn't say I want to "meet" one. Rather, I'd like to see one from a safe distance - preferably, far enough away that the dragon can't see me."

Poppy chuckles at Ava's words - she, too, would like to see a dragon.

"If you ever happen upon a dragon," she says, "You just need to be careful. They are highly intelligent creatures and won't attack until they feel threatened."

"Given how the wizards have been treating the dragons for the last few centuries, I wouldn't blame one if it attacked me on sight," Ava shrugs, "Although I still would rather avoid becoming a dragon's dinner…Other than dragons, I'm curious to see unicorns - I've heard they are breathtakingly beautiful, and I'm also curious to see if there's truth to certain old wives' tales."

"Ah, I wish you were here two years ago!" Poppy exclaims, "Professor Howin brought the unicorns to class one day during our third year."

"Did she? How exciting! I really wish I was there," Ava sighs before adding, "But, who knows, perhaps I could see some in the Forbidden Forest - Natty told me she'd caught a glimpse of one when she was out collecting the ingredients for her potions."

Silence falls upon them for a moment. Poppy leans against the back of her chair and sips her butterbeer. The Three Broomsticks is packed on this late October evening, and though Poppy usually hates crowds, she doesn't feel uncomfortable. The chatter of the crowd, coupled with her exhaustion, makes her eyelids heavy, and Poppy almost struggles to keep her eyes open.

The comforting trance is broken just a moment later when she suddenly sees Nicholas Nott and Henry Avery in front of their table. Instantly, Poppy's tense, straightening in her seat - out of the corner of her eye, she can notice just how quickly the smile vanishes off Ava's face at the sight of the two Slytherins.

"What a pleasant surprise," Nott smiles, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes, "Good evening, ladies. Care if we join you?"

Both Nott and Avery are carrying two mugs of butterbeer, and Poppy knows that this meeting is anything but a chance encounter. Poppy sighs, annoyed - after the day they've had trying to find the poachers' camp, the last thing she wants is to be around either Nott or Avery.

"We'd rather you didn't," Ava responds coolly, but Nott does not listen.

"Come now, there's no need to be like that," Nott says, placing butterbeer mugs on the table and sitting across from Ava while Avery settles next to him, "I'd have us be friends. I understand there had been a little…misunderstanding between us earlier, and I just wanted to straighten things out - and apologize."

Poppy rolls her eyes - only a fool would believe that Nott was even slightly remorseful over hurting Persephone. She clenches her fists, feeling her nails dig into her palms - if Nott and Avery don't leave soon, they will regret it.

"You should be apologizing to Persephone," Poppy says firmly, looking Nott in the face.

"I'm sure you will be able to pass on the apologies to her," Nott replies.

Poppy scoffs and crosses her arms before her, "As if she's accept."

"We've heard you out," Ava says calmly, "Now, if you don't mind…"

"That wasn't everything I had to say," Nott interrupts, "As a gesture of goodwill, we come bearing gifts. I know you are looking for the poacher's camp - and I also know its location."

"How would you know any of that?" Poppy asks, as anger, bright and bristling, rises in her chest, "Were you eavesdropping?"

Belatedly, she realizes that, perhaps, she should have feigned ignorance, but it's much too late now. Poppy looks at Ava apologetically, and her friend offers her a reassuring smile.

"It was by chance, really, with no ill intent. I've overheard you two speaking at the library," Nott replies, "And it just so happens that I know where to find what you're looking for - so does it matter how?"

Poppy tenses - she knows Nott is lying. They have discussed the poacher's camp on school grounds before, but never in the library. Was he secretly watching them?

Ava must have realized it too, but nothing in her face betrays that fact.

"Well then," she says, looking Nott straight in the eye, "Where is it?"

"What's the hurry?" Nott says, leaning against the back of his seat and placing his elbow atop its backrest, "I will tell you - but first, we should have a drink to celebrate our new friendship." With that, he slides two mugs of butterbeer toward Poppy and Ava.

Poppy rolls her eyes and scoffs. "New friendship" - the audacity!

"Don't get ahead of yourself," Ava replies coolly.

"I wouldn't dare," Nott says, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

Poppy glances over to Ava - she doesn't trust Nott or Avery, but they are running out of time to track the poachers. If Nott is telling the truth, suffering through this one conversation would hardly be too high a price to pay. Ava meets Poppy's gaze and nods - it seems she's thinking the same. Reaching forward, Ava takes the mug that Nott gave her.

"Wonderful," Nott smiles, "I'm glad we understand each other. So tell me - how is aunt Ariadne these days?"

"You know my mother?" Ava narrows her eyes.

"Of course I do," Nott tilts his head to the side, studying her face, "My parents hold an annual gathering at our summer estate for the most prominent members of the wizarding society - the Blacks, the Gaunts, the Lestranges, the Malfoys… And the Rosiers are always most welcome guests, of course."

Poppy shakes her head - it's hard for her to comprehend how some people can be so invested in their "blood purity" status. Despite being a pure-blooded witch herself, Poppy never gave it much thought. Perhaps, because her blood status was just a chance occurrence rather than a result of multiple generations of inbreeding, all in an effort to keep the bloodline "pure."

"Mother will be expecting you to join your parents this summer since you will turn sixteen by then," Nott continues, "It's a unique chance to meet everyone who matters in the wizarding world all at once - you don't want to miss it."

"A grand gathering, to be sure," Ava says flatly, "But I must decline - unfortunately, the entirety of my summer is already spoken for."

Poppy shifts in her seat, annoyed - she had hoped they'd learn the location of the poachers' camp by now, but it seems Nott is in no hurry to reveal anything. Just as Poppy thinks things cannot get worse, Avery addresses her.

"I was watching you the other day by the enclosures," he says, "How's…Proserpina - that rodent you take care of?"

"I already said - her name is Persephone. And she is no rodent; she's a kneazle," Poppy bristles instantly.

Avery's smile is unsettling - and it doesn't escape Poppy that he said he'd been watching her. Shiver runs up Poppy's spine - she doesn't remember seeing him there at all, and it unnerves her.

"Right, right," Avery nods, "Same thing. Are you going there later? I could keep you company - the school grounds can be quite treacherous in the dark."

Poppy isn't afraid of the dark - or most things, really - but the way Avery's looking at her makes her feel uneasy. She could spend the whole night by the enclosures taking care of the animals and not feel unsafe for a moment if she could be sure he wasn't lurking in the dark.

"I'll pass," she says firmly.

Poppy grasps her butterbeer mug and ponders her options. They were no closer to finding out the location of the poachers' camp than when the conversation had started, and it was high time to cut their losses. But before she can say anything to Ava, Nott looks out the window behind them.

"Would you look at that," he says, half in awe. Poppy turns around in her seat and sees the sky lit up with a myriad of purple and green sparks - it's the biggest fireworks she'd ever seen. Instantly, she thinks of all the small magical creatures that left their hideouts to enjoy the quiet of the night and hopes, in vain, that the bright light and the sounds of the explosion hadn't spooked them too much.

"Zonko really outdid themselves this year," Avery adds.

When they turn back to the table, it is as though something has shifted imperceptibly. Poppy takes a deep breath, and suddenly, she's overwhelmed with the smell of lake and sweets and something else she cannot quite describe - it's old, yet airy, almost magical, and makes her think of a long-forgotten secret passageway she'd discovered once that connected the greenhouses to the Hufflepuff Common Rooms.

Poppy frowns, confused, but before she can say anything, the door to the Three Broomsticks flings open with a loud thud.

"Wait, don't drink it!"

Despite Ominis's needling, Sebastian is almost glad his friend decided to tag along - without him, it would have probably taken at least twice as long to locate Ava and Poppy. Ominis's wand shines its usual red when it leads them to the Three Broomsticks.

"They must be here," Ominis says.

Sebastian nods and looks into the window - the bar is full of people, so it's unlikely he'd be able to see them from the outside, but he still tries.

To Sebastian's surprise, he sees Ava and Poppy almost immediately - they are at the table by the neighboring window. Instantly, his heart drops - Nott and Avery are at the table with them. Was he too late? Has Nott already done what he'd been planning?

He sees the way Nott looks at Ava with a keen, hungry gaze and clenches his fists. If Nott thinks he has won, he's sorely mistaken.

"So," Ominis asks expectantly, "Is she there?"

"Yes," Sebastian replies darkly. He hesitates momentarily before adding, "And Nott and Avery are there too… I need to warn her about the potion, I hope it's not too late."

"Sebastian," Ominis steps in front of him, stopping him from moving, "As entertaining as it would be to watch all this unfold, I feel it is my duty as a friend to make you stop and think. At this point, Nott's presumed love potion plan is pure speculation - if you are wrong, think about how that will look."

"What would you have me do then?" Sebastian crosses his arms before him, "Nothing? And simply leave Ava to her fate?"

"No," Ominis shakes his head, "I would have you talk to her - but not about the potion."

A loud explosion rattles the air behind them, and when Sebastian looks around, he sees thousands of green and purple sparks in the sky.

"Must be one of Zonko's fireworks," he explains, turning back to Ominis.

From the corner of his eye, Sebastian sees through the foggy window of the Three Broomsticks Nott shift forward. For a split second, something that looks like a tiny vial is in his hand - and he's holding it over Ava's mug. Sebastian's heart drops - Ava cannot see it; she's still looking out the window at the fireworks.

"I told you he was going to do it!" Sebastian exclaims, rushing to the door, "I just saw Nott pour something into her cup."

Ominis must have said something, but Sebastian cannot hear him - not when the blood rushes so loudly in his ears, and his heart pounds against his ribs like mad. Logically, he knows that Ava isn't in danger - even if she were to drink the potion, no harm would come to her - they will take her to the Hospital Wing immediately. But the mere thought of her acting under the influence of a love potion, even for a moment, shatters his heart into a million pieces.

The heavy oak door flings open, slamming into the wall behind it, sending a tremor through the building. Suddenly, all eyes of the bar patrons are upon him, but he's only looking at Ava.

"Don't drink it!"

But he's too late - the mug's already at her lips, and he can only watch helplessly as she takes a sip and then another.

No.

The entire establishment erupts in cacophony, and out of the corner of his eye, Sebastian can see Sirona come out from behind the bar and head toward him, and he knows he needs to hurry. Before Sirona can stop him, he's already at the table where Ava and Poppy sit with Nott and Avery.

"Ava, don't drink it," he says, "I saw Nott spike your butterbeer."

Placing her cup on the table, Ava looks up at Sebastian, wide-eyed and surprised. She seems lucid enough, which is a relief - perhaps, he's not too late.

"You saw him spike my butterbeer?" she repeats, frowning.

"Yes - when you were looking at the fireworks. I saw it from outside the window," Sebastian explains hastily as Sirona approaches them.

Ava looks to Nott, who just shrugs. "I have no idea what he's talking about," Nott says, picking up his own butterbeer and taking a sip, "Did you hit your head so hard during your last duel, Sallow, that you are now seeing things that aren't there? Maybe it's time you took a trip to the Hospital Wing."

Before Sebastian can respond, Sirona is between him and the table.

"What's going on here? Why are you storming into my bar yelling?" she demands.

"I saw Nott spike Ava's drink with a love potion when I was outside," Sebastian explains earnestly, "So I had to warn her. I'm sorry for the disruption, but there was no time to do it any other way."

"You really should stop imagining things, Sallow," Avery budges in, "It's quite embarrassing, you know."

Sirona looks from Sebastian to Nott, clearly weighing the accusation.

"Well, if it was a love potion, it must be pretty bad because I don't feel any different," Ava chuckles, "Guess I'm just heartless."

There's confusion in Nott's gaze, which is all the admission of guilt Sebastian needs. The unquelled rage uncoils in his chest, bright and bristling, making him lurch forward and grab Nott by the lapels of his robes.

"By Merlin's beard," he snarls, "I'm going to make you rue the day you were born."

"Get your dirty half-blood hands off me," Nott yelps, trying to grab over Sebastian's writs to shake his hands off his lapels. Avery gets up to interfere, but Sirona's between Sebastian and Nott, forcefully separating them before he can.

"Stop it, both of you," she says firmly, "Whatever happened, I will not tolerate any fights at my bar."

"Ava, are you sure you are feeling alright?" Poppy asks, "I can walk you to the Hospital Wing if you need."

"Don't worry about me, I'm alright," Ava responds.

A part of Sebastian wonders how that is possible - Potions may not have been his strongest subject, but even he knows that love potions worked almost instantaneously. Could she really be immune?

Dread rises in Sebastian's chest - a cold wave clenches his heart, making it hard to breathe. What if he was wrong - what if it's not a love potion that Nott poured into her drink but rather some kind of poison?

"As for the accusation," Sirona continues, frowning, "The situation is quite serious, and we will need to investigate to uncover the truth."

"I could go fetch Professor Sharp," Ominis offers instantly, "He will be able to tell right away if there is something in this cup that doesn't belong there."

"No need," Sirona replies, taking out her wand, "Try working as a barkeep as long as I have, and you'll learn all the spells necessary for such a check out of pure necessity."

She points the wand at Ava's mug and traces a symbol Sebastian hasn't seen before. The liquid in the cup shifts slightly but stills almost instantaneously. Seconds pass, one after another, but nothing changes.

"Hmm, it doesn't look like this drink's been tampered with," Sirona frowns, then turns to Sebastian, "Are you sure you saw something happen to it?"

Sebastian's heart drops. "I know what I saw," he says vehemently, blood rushing in his ears as a cold, sinking feeling unfurls in his chest, "He did something to it."

"You are a liar, Sallow!" Avery exclaims, "I don't know what you are playing at, but you will pay for this."

"Everyone needs to calm down," Sirona says firmly, "This could have been an honest mistake."

Sebastian looks at Sirona and suddenly realizes that Nott is not behind her. Glancing around, he sees Nott by the window. He appears surprisingly still, almost stiff, as he stares outside.

"Nicholas, hey, Nicholas," Avery calls out, but Nott doesn't respond, only continues staring through the window, mesmerized by something it seems only he can see.

"You are…so beautiful," Nott finally whispers.

It takes Sebastian a second to realize Nott is talking to his reflection.

"Nicholas, are you alright?" Avery asks, approaching Nott, who, once again, doesn't respond.

"Perhaps, we should test all other mugs on the table," Ava suggests, amused, resting her chin on the palm of her hand, "Who knows what we may find."

Sirona nods and casts a spell on the remaining three mugs. Sebastian watches closely - for a brief moment, the liquid in all cups is still until, suddenly, Nott's butterbeer starts to glow a pale pink. Sebastian frowns at the sight - how is this possible?

"Nicholas, this isn't funny," Avery continues, trying to pull Nott away from the window, but Nott simply shakes off his hands. Sebastian can hardly suppress a chuckle as he watches the scene unfold.

"Huh," Ava muses, "Perhaps, it was a good potion after all."

Sebastian looks to Ava and frowns - he was certain that he'd seen Nott pour the potion into her mug. But then how…

"She did this!" Avery exclaimed suddenly, turning around and pointing to Ava, "She's the one who did this - she wanted to bewitch Nicholas, and Sallow's only covering for her."

"Mr. Avery," Sirona sighs, exasperated, "If I were you, I'd save your breath - everyone here knows how love potions work. If Miss Rosier prepared this potion, Mr. Nott wouldn't fall in love with himself."

Avery clenches his fists as he looks to Ava, "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing he didn't try doing to me," Ava smiles sweetly, amusement apparent in her dark eyes, "Let's just say I returned the gift. By the way, next time you try to sneak a love potion into someone's drink, maybe choose something other than butterbeer. You see, when a mixture of cream, caramel, and butter suddenly starts smelling of old books, smoke, and sandalwood, anyone would become suspicious. "

Sebastian looks at her wide-eyed and awe-struck. When did she have time to switch their drinks?

"Mr. Avery, please get Mr. Nott off the premises," Siron says, crossing her arms, "Both of you are banned from my establishment indefinitely."

Avery grumbles but knows he cannot argue. Grabbing Nott's forearm, Avery tries to pull him away from his reflection, but to no avail. Sebastian could watch Avery struggle to get Nott to move the entire day, but Ava and Poppy have other plans.

"It's time for us to head out," Poppy says, and Ava nods as they get up from their seats. Without a word, Sebastian and Ominis follow them outside.

"Nott's certainly going to remember this one for a while," Ominis chuckles as they walk into the town circle.

"He better - else next time I'll make sure he really regrets it," Ava laughs, looking at Ominis over her shoulder.

A sudden fluttering of wings attracts Sebastian's attention - he looks up and notices a small owl circling above them. He's never seen one with such a peculiar coloring - the owl's feathers are soft yellow with brown, red, and gold speckles. After a moment, the owl quickly descends, landing on Poppy's outstretched arm.

"This is from gran," Poppy smiles, accepting the letter from the owl's claws and petting it gently on its head, "Finally."

As Poppy reads the letter, the owl makes its way up her arm and onto her shoulder - then, suddenly, hops over onto Ominis's shoulder.

"Sorry," Poppy offers apologetically, "She doesn't usually do this."

"It's alright," Ominis replies calmly, "I don't mind - what is your owl's name?"

"Eos," Poppy smiles.

"Hello, Eos," Ominis chuckles, "Would you like to be friends?"

"I think she's begging for treats," Poppy laughs, "She always does when she brings letters, but, unfortunately, I do not have any on hand. Sorry, Eos, I'll have to see you later at the Owlery."

"Actually, I happen to have some - I was at the Owlery sending a letter right before we left for Hogsmeade," Ominis reaches into his robes and pulls out a small pouch of dried owl treats. Shaking out some treats onto his palm, he moves his hand closer to the owl, "Here you go."

"You just might be her most favorite person in the world right now," Poppy chuckles, watching Eos pick at the treats.

"Sebastian," Ava says suddenly, "I wanted to thank you for coming to warn me."

A small half-smile blooms on her lips, making Sebastian's heart flutter.

"Any time," he says, trying to calm his racing pulse, "By the way, when did you manage to switch the mugs?"

"When you ran into the bar - the commotion you caused gave me just the split second I needed," Ava smiles, then tilts her head to the side, "But I'm curious - how did you find us? Were you and Ominis just passing by the Three Broomsticks when you saw that entire ordeal?"

Blood rushes in Sebastian's ears, and his mouth suddenly feels dry. "Actually, I was looking for you."

"Looking for me?" Ava frowns, meeting his gaze, "Why?"

Sebastian's heart is in his throat - he knows that if he ever wanted to tell Ava about everything that's been weighing on his heart the last few weeks, that made him lay awake at night yearning for something he couldn't quite describe, now would be the time. Yet, somehow, the words never come to him.

"I…I overheard Nott and Avery plot this in the common room, so I knew I needed to warn you," he says instead.

Something shifts in Ava's gaze, and she smiles an unfamiliar, soft smile, "Thank you - I am so fortunate to have a friend like you."

"Ava," Poppy calls out excitedly, looking up from her letter, "I think gran just gave me an idea of how we can find what we've been looking for! We'll just need to drop by Pippin's Potions first!"

"The store's closing soon, so we should go now," Ava replies, then looks back to Sebastian, "Well, we'll be on our way - see you later."

Ava and Poppy are halfway across the town circle when Ominis lets out a deep, exasperated sigh and says, "Sometimes I just cannot believe how daft you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sebastian frowns, crossing his arms before him as he turns to Ominis.

"Merlin's beard, it's almost painful to witness you be so oblivious," Ominis continues, "Especially when she's just all but outright admitted it."

"Admitted what?" Sebastian asks, confused.

Ominis sighs again. "You know, the way you've been getting on my nerves the last few weeks, perhaps, I should let you suffer," he says, "But I can't stand your whistful sighs or longing gazes every time she's around any longer, so I will tell you."

"You can't see the way I look at her!" Sebastian protests.

"I can feel it," Ominis replies, "And if you think that I'm the only one who noticed, then you are a bigger fool than I thought."

Sebastian feels a bright blush rise in his cheeks. "So what are you going to tell me?" he asks.

"Do you remember what Professor Sharp told us about Amortentia?" Ominis says. Sebastian frowns, trying to remember, but Potions have never been his strong suit.

"Not really," he shakes his head.

"You really are hopeless," Ominis chuckles, "Well, fine - in short, Amortentia smells different to every person, based on what they like. And Ava just said that the spiked butterbeer smelled of old books, smoke, and sandalwood…Is none of that ringing a bell?"

Sebastian stares at Ominis, confused.

"Really?" Ominis raises an eyebrow, "I wonder where you can find many old books? Perhaps, in the school's library…And the smoke, that couldn't possibly be from a certain fire spell you seem to really favor - the very same one you taught her just a few weeks back, could it? As for sandalwood… I wouldn't know, but I also cannot do all your thinking for you, Sebastian."

Unbidden, Sebastian's mind goes to the night he and Ava got caught hiding in the broom closet from the prefects. It was almost dizzying to have her so close, and when her warm breath ghosted his neck as she spoke, he could barely hide his shudder.

"That's a nice cologne," she whispered, "It's cardamom and…sandalwood, right?"

Suddenly, it feels as though all pieces of the puzzle fall into place.

"Ominis," Sebastian says, heart racing in his throat, "What do I do?"

"Do you like her? Then go tell her."

And so Sebastian does.

He runs through the streets of Hogsmeade, hoping and praying that Ava and Poppy haven't left the village yet. To his relief, he sees Ava just outside Pippin's Potions store.

"Ava!" Sebastian calls out.

"Sebastian?" Ava looks at him confused, when he approaches, "Is everything alright?"

Silhouetted by the soft light of a streetlamp, she looks absolutely lovely, and Sebastian's heart flutters in his chest.

"Ava, I…"

A myriad of thoughts rushes through his mind. He wants to tell her of the way his heart skips a beat every time she smiles at him and about how happy she makes him and how much that scares him because, truly, he'd never thought that one person could bear that much happiness and of how he'd lain awake every night until dawn for the last few weeks yearning - aching-for her.

Yet, somehow, when she looks at him with those mesmerizing dark eyes, Sebastian finds himself lost for words, so he does the only thing he can.

Sebastian doesn't remember leaning in - only the moment his lips found hers. Ava feels delightfully soft and warm - and, yet, completely still under his touch. Sebastian's heart drops as a cold wave of dread rises in his chest. Was he so utterly mistaken?

But then she's kissing him back - and the very axis of his world shifts ever so slightly. It's everything Sebastian has ever wished for - slow and sweet and utterly dizzying, spreading liquid fire through his veins and making his head spin.

When they pull apart, Sebastian's flushed and breathless, and he notices a light blush rise in Ava's cheeks as well.

"Was there Amortentia in your butterbeer too?" Ava chuckles.

Before Sebastian has a chance to respond, the door to the potions shop swings open, and Poppy comes out carrying a small satchel.

"Got everything we need," she says happily, "And I think I know where we need to search next."

"Well then, lead the way," Ava replies before turning to Sebastian and smiling, "We've got some matters to attend to now, but when I'm back at Hogwarts, perhaps, you could find me - and we could finish this discussion then."

"Of course," Sebastian replies, his voice a little hoarse, "I will see you later."

#sebastian sallow x mc #OC: Ava Rosier

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jovianjournal · 1 month

Text

March 2024

Should i just do one big post for novels and comics at the same time? Anyway, here's the novels i read in march, mostly SFF plus one romcom

Uprooted -- Naomi Novik, French translation by Benjamin Kuntzer

A young woman is sent to the local wizard's tower as a yearly tribute (or something like that) where she learns magic and try to discover why the forest is being weird. Very long and frankly a little boring, i had pretty high expectations and i was a bit disappointed. At first it seemed right up my alley, there were some blue beard, dark fantasy vibes... that kind of went nowhere tbh. most of the characters are extremely annoying (although i did like Agniezka as a protagonist! and her friend Kasia. it could have been gay... it should have been gay!!) and the plot felt stretched out for no reason. But i did enjoy the old folk tale aesthetic, the magic system based around rhymes was beautiful.

A Study in Drowning -- Ava Reid

A college student is sent to a crumbling mansion by the sea for an architecture project, alongside her academic rival, mystery ensues. The vibes were perfect, the rising sea, the damp air, the raging storm, water everywhere. I have one complain tho: I spent the Whole Goddamn Book SCREAMING at the characters "why aren't you checking this One Thing???" and as soon as they did check this one thing the mystery was resolved. so that was a little annoying.

Overall I really liked this book, i'd recommend it if you're into Dark Academia, A House as A Character, and metaphors about sexist and sexual violence. Also the writing is really pretty! i want to read other books by this author.

The Mars House -- Natasha Pulley

disclaimer: i love Natasha Pulley So. Much. she is probably my fav author currently, and i am very aware that she tends to always write the same book, but listen : i am autistic and i like knowing what im getting into and knowing that im going to like a story before investing the time in it.

That Being Said, i have two and a half pages of notes in my journal that boil down to "i didn't like this book as much as i hoped :/". This is a sci-fi story about immigration and xenophobia where one of the main character is a martian right-wing politician and also there's some Gender Stuff in martian society that felt a little terfy? (which is weird bc basically in this book Martian society has Abolished Gender). I still adored this book! i'd wholeheartedly recommend it! the writing is spectacular, i loved the characters, the worldbuilding is super interesting, there's fun tragic irony where you know what's going on while the characters don't, there's fricking Mammoths. Read it, and then read The Watchmaker of FIligree Street, and then read the Kingdoms, and then read all of her other books.

Ariah -- B. R. Sanders

I don't know how to describe this book. A 400-page character study about a Pretty Annoying Guy? I think i picked it up bc i was looking for books with polyam relationships and that's why i powered all the way through it. I actually don't remember much about the plot. It's a high fantasy story, the main character has mind powers he has trouble controlling, he's kind of a dick to his lovers, every time something important happens the narration completely glosses over it. Reading over my notes, i did like the last part of the story, and the happy end felt deserved. don't have much more to say.

Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake -- Alexis Hall

Alexis Hall is another one of my comfort authors, im slowly getting through their bibliography. this one was okay! it's a great british bake off fan fiction, it was fun (but not as good as the Stucky fanfic). good banter, tropey plot. averages to and okay book.

#book review #bookblr #reading journal #fiction #novel #Naomi Novik #Uprooted #Ava Reid #A study in drowning #Natasha Pulley #The Mars house #Alexis Hall #Rosaline Palmer takes the cake

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foulbearobservation · 1 year

Note

lilith, who has a preternatural sense for when she’s going to have nightmares. or not so much that as a certain fragility that comes over her as she moves her little character around the farm in stardew valley, listening to ava’s laugh and watching bea’s face scrunch up in concentration and feeling cam’s hand on her neck as she passes by.

a feeling like she’s breaking. and lilith knows that she’ll lurch violently out of sleep with the scalding heat of thumbs pressing into her eyes, lungs choking on the desert-dry air of hell or some place too close to hell.

she’ll wake with a feeling like she’s suspended, impaled, mouth full of blood & ava staring up at her, afraid. lilith not sure if it’s the tarask or her that makes ava so frightened. dead moments - the past still alive in her body. ava, afraid, and the others far away.

these girls she loves, now, & how they’ll be wrapped up together with bea muttering in her sleep and cam with her mouth upturned and inches from ava’s neck. she doesn’t want to wake in all their arms with death in her mouth so she takes herself away to the single bed in a room by itself. makes a nest of ava’s hoodie & soft blankets and a book of poetry bea got her and a mug of cam’s revolting tea.

falls asleep and the nightmares come. of course it wakes the others, her screaming. bea & cam and ava, less quickly. cam slips out of bed, drifts into the room to find lilith’s wings out and draped over the edges of the bed, tears shining on her face from the light in the hall.

& lilith shuddering, lips chapped as if the other side has reached out to her and stolen her breath. cam moving slow though she wants to rush, to run, to be bigger than all of lilith’s lonely deaths. brushing fingers through her hair as lilith sobs - ashamed of it and unashamed because it’s cam, & she’s alive and home & beloved.

asking in a small voice for bea, so cam goes and bea leans a kiss down into ava’s neck. plants another as a new mode of prayer on cam’s cheek. turns on the bedside light next to the single bed and lets lilith’s wing curl around her - softer now, with a down of feathers in gray-speckled white. there, she reads from the book of poems until lilith drifts back to sleep.

she dreams of turning pages, and soft epilogues, and wings

lilith knowing when she's going to break, willingly separating herself from her partners, not wanting to scare them or, god forbid, see that look on ava's face again.

lilith trying so hard to get over the silence of her childhood home, where she could absolutely never cry, to this home that they have made. this home they've fought and bled for. this home where camila strokes through lilith's hair and sings pop songs under her breath. this home where bea will stay up reading poetry to her. this home where ava steals lil's hoodie and curls up with her on the couch the next day and gives "great" ideas for her farm layout. this home where she's loved. where she doesn't have to stifle her sobs.

#sickos meme yes YES!#ot4

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birgittesilverbae · 2 years

Text

be steadfast

wheel of time au ficlet - Beatrice faces the third arch in her Accepted test

vague wot book spoilers for the great hunt worldbuilding

---

"The third time," Suzanne says, guiding Beatrice around the ter'angreal, "is for what will be. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."

Beatrice squares her shoulders and steps through the arch.

The fire burning steadily at the hearth keeps the room at a comfortable temperature, and the mug clasped between Beatrice's palm warms her hands another degree. She inhales deeply, catching the floral scent of the brew, something she'd selected from a peddler's wagon the last time a merchant train had come through town. It's steeped rich and flavourful in water drawn from the spring behind their cottage.

Their cottage. Beatrice stills, mug half-raised to her mouth. That thought doesn't feel quite right, but she lets it pass, takes another sip and flips the page of the book laid out on the table before her. There's a crash, a muffled curse. A smile flicks across the corner of Beatrice's mouth unbidden. The measured dull thud of the axe blade meeting timber picks up again, and she bends over the table, finds the start of the tight scrawl.

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

Something soft and sleek curls around her ankle and she absentmindedly reaches a hand down, letting their cat butt her head against her knuckles. Their, again, but it feels more assured, now, more settled. Their cat, their cottage, their life together. The sound of the axe abates once more, but this time it's replaced by a laugh, sharp and lilting, warm as the first kiss of spring. Beatrice feels drawn to it, finds herself setting aside her mug and standing.

"Bea," the voice calls out, and she can tell by the volume that the speaker is perched on the fence surrounding their vegetable garden. She can almost see her, the axe dangling between her knees in a loose grip, sweat-damp hair pushed back from her forehead by a soft cap. See… who? Her memory skews sideways and she staggers a step, has to reach out a hand to the table to steady herself.

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

Ava crawls its way to the surface, and Beatrice strides towards the window. Ava is chopping the wood, down to her shirtsleeves out in the trampled down snow of their garden. When she reaches the window, Ava will be waiting for her, grin blooming across her face. When she-

Where there used to be a door through to the kitchen is a silver arch. She doesn't know how she has never noticed it before. The way back will come but once.

"Bea!" the voice calls again, and Beatrice's feet stutter to a halt. She glances towards the window, back towards the desk. She remembers Ava perched on the edge, looking up at her with soft fondness in her gaze; Ava, leaning down to press a kiss to the nape of her neck; Ava, sprawled across the bed they share. "I have something to show you!"

If she catches one glimpse of her, Beatrice thinks that she might be able to keep this moment, to hold it precious in her palm, to carry it with her out through that archway. Her foot lifts, and the arch flickers. Be steadfast.

"Bea?" There's the barest hint of fear entering Ava's voice, now. Beatrice raises a hand to her face, finds her cheeks wet. The way back will come but once.

"I can't," she breathes, through memory upon memory of just how easily she could, just how simple and easy and right it is to love Ava, to live with her, to cup Ava's face in her hands and kiss the smirk from her mouth. The archway goes hazy. Beatrice flinches. It comes solid again.

Ava's voice nears the window, panic rising in her tone. "Bea!"

"I'm sorry," she says, louder than she means to. Be steadfast. "This isn't real. This isn't real. I have to go. This isn't real."

She turns her gaze towards the arch, walks steadily towards it. There's a flicker of movement at the window, a strangled "Bea!" but she holds her head high and refuses to look back.

The glow of the archway consumes her.

#warrior nun #sister beatrice #wn wot au #I have like four fandoms and they are constantly in a blender #mix and match baybeeee #mywn

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kendrene · 1 year

Note

for ur road-trip prompts! avatrice + downtime

I'm not sure this is what you had in mind, but I hope you like it.

***

“Do you relax, like, ever?”

At first, Ava thinks that Beatrice hasn’t heard. She pushes the book First Enchanter Jillian has given her to read aside - some stuffy old treatise about the dangers of fire magic, no doubt written by an even stuffier mage, long dead - and focuses her entire attention on the Templar by the door.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“I heard you.” There’s a slight change in her posture. Not something Ava would call loosening. She’s never seen Beatrice’s spine be anything less than ramrod-straight. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“Oh, come on Bea.” The book thuds shut, and a small cloud of dust lifts from the yellowed pages. Ava blinks back tears. “Surely there are things you do in your free time?”

“It is my duty to ensure nothing happens to you, Ava.” Or that Ava doesn’t happen to somebody, but Beatrice is too polite to say. “Besides, I do not mind it.”

Ava lowers her eyes, pretending to examine the grain of the table she’s sat at. She’s glad that it’s late evening, and the square of sky outside the stained-glass window is pitch dark. Glad that the reading alcove she chose - her favorite in the whole library - isn’t particularly well lit.

The blush heating her face takes about a century to fade.

“I don’t mind that it’s you watching over me.” Ava breathes out, not meaning to, so close to the surface of the table she can picture the words like another layer of varnish upon the worn wood. There’s another shift, a creak of leather. An inhale so subtle Ava thinks she must have imagined it. She doesn’t look up.

“Anyway,” Beatrice resumes after some time, voice uncharacteristically unsteady, “of course I do things in my free time.” She falters a little over the word free, as though her tongue doesn’t quite know what to do with it. “I train.”

“Seriously.” Ava snorts. “That doesn’t count as a relaxing activity.” Her eyes flick up, just in time to catch Beatrice’s frown. It deepens as she watches, and Ava has to fight the urge to go to her. To reach out, and stroke a thumb between Beatrice’s knitted eyebrows gently, smooth whatever’s bothersome away. She cannot. Ava has no name for the things that flicker in her chest when Beatrice is near, but knows the desires that they elicit are forbidden. “You don’t have hobbies? Wait, are Templars actually allowed to have hobbies?”

“Ava.” Somewhere at the far end of the library a door opens and they both go quiet. Templars and mages are allowed to talk, obviously, but what they’re doing skirts closer to fraternization. Itcould land them in a lot of trouble.

They wait in complete silence until it’s clear nobody is coming. Ava slumps in her seat.

“Fine.” She plucks at the left sleeve of her robe, tugging at a thread that’s coming loose. “Let me rephrase, because clearly we’re not getting anywhere. What do you do if you’re not on duty or training?”

“I meditate.”

“Beatrice.” Ava says with the tone of someone about to break horrible news. “I’m sorry to tell you, but I don’t think you know how to unwind.”

“Meditation is the getaway to a steady heart and a calm mind.”

“So, basically if you’re not standing guard or training, you’re falling asleep.”

“That’s not at all what-!” Beatrice sputters, indignant, and crosses her arms. “Alright. What about you, then? What do you do if you’re not-”

“-reading awfully boring books?” Stretching, Ava stands and walks over to the window. Her reflection stares right back, a blackened mirror-image distorted by the imperfections in the glass. “The gardens. I love walking barefoot on the grass right after it rains. And there’s fish in the pond, did you know? Sometimes the cooks let me have a heel of old bread to feed them.”

It sounded grander in her mind than it does as she speaks of it to Beatrice, but Ava goes on undeterred. Maybe, to someone who could leave the Circle anytime the gardens don’t seem much. They’re everything to her. “Have you ever really walked through them? I don’t mean on your way to the barracks and back. Have you ever really paid attention to how much the trees shake when a storm wind comes in from the lake? Or to what kind of birds nest in the old oak depending on the season?”

“I can’t say that I have.” Beatrice answers slowly, like she’s trying to see the gardens as Ava does. “All of it sounds beautiful, though.”

“It is!” Ava turns around, seized by a wild thought. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

“Curfew-”

“The bell rang not too long ago. We have about an hour until compline.”

“Still-”

“We’ll be careful.” Beatrice’s expression is doubtful, but the moment Ava offers her hand she takes it without question. “I promise.”

“What do you think?”

Ava had decided the moment they got out to leave the well tended gravel paths behind and plunge straight into the tangle of trees at the heart of the gardens. It was the only way, she’d reasoned, to show Beatrice what she meant.

“It’s pretty, don’t you think?”

This clearing at the feet of the old oak is her favorite spot in the gardens. Even better than the pond, except perhaps early in the spring, when the mallards’ eggs hatch and ducklings bob back and forth across the tranquil waters.

Beatrice steps under the shadow of the tree, free hand outstretched, reaching to press her palm against the weathered trunk. “I run past this place sometimes, during drills. I never stopped to take it in before, though.” She pulls back, staring down at her fingers as if the tree has left its mark there. “You were right, Ava. Thank you.”

Ava’s fingers, still curled loosely around Bea’s, twitch. She’s surprised Beatrice hasn’t tried to reclaim her hand yet, but is sure she would in a heartbeat should Ava allow her grip to grow too tight. She’s taken care to keep her hold as-barely-there, to trap Beatrice’s fingers the same as she would a fragile bird. Has held her breath whenever their hands bumped awkwardly together on their walk to this place, afraid a sudden jolt, some nervous movement may cause Bea to fly away from her.

“Thank you, Ava.” Beatrice says again, and flips their hands over, thumb stroking at the tender dip of Ava’s inner wrist, her fingers squeezing, Ava finds she cannot breathe.

‘There’s more.” Ava can hear her own pulse in her ears, can feel it reverberate like the aftermath of a spell down her spine and the rest of her. Down her arms, to where Bea’s thumb is idly rubbing, the one place of her body that’s become the axis of her world for the time being. She’s sure that Beatrice can sense it too as it thunders in her grasp and wonders what she may be thinking. Clouds roll in, wrapping around the moon. Darkness shrouds the two of them entire, making it impossible to tell.

“More?”

Beatrice is close enough her next exhale is unadulterated warmth on Ava’s cheek.

She clears her throat.

“Yeah. Uhm. Let’s sit.”

They carefully lower themselves in the hollow dug up by the oak’s gnarled roots. Here the ground is soft and a bit spongy, a carpet of dead leaves and sticks and all manner of debris blown in by the breeze.

“Look.’ Ava points, and Bea’s gaze tilts up, as though Ava’s finger is tied to an invisible string that goes straight to her heart. “I shouldn’t tell you this, since you’re a Templar and all, but sometimes I can’t sleep and I sneak out after curfew to look at the stars.”

Beatrice bumps their shoulders together.

“I have a feeling asking you not do that would equal wasted breath.” She lets go of Ava’s hand only to place hers higher up, around Ava's forearm. It’s cold enough that Ava is wearing another layer under her robes, and still it feels like Beatrice is touching her directly. Ava burns hotter than a thousand suns. “Will you try to be careful about it? If Shannon or Mary caught you, it wouldn’t not be too big a deal. But others will not be as kind.”

“I promise.”

“Okay.” The clouds part, and stray moonlight spears down from above to show that Beatrice doesn’t quite believe her.

“I really do promise to be careful, Beatrice.” Ava repeats. It isn’t as convincing as she’d like and they both know it is a lie.

“Maybe we could make a deal.” Beatrice pauses, jaw working around whatever it is that she’s gonna suggest next. Her lower lip is caught between her teeth, and her dark eyes are pensive the same way they get when Knight-Commander Suzanne presents her with some complicated question about faith.

Not that Ava has made a whole study of the countless expressions that flit across Beatrice’s face at any hour of the day, filing all of them inside her mind for reference. So that she knows what Beatrice thinks or feels even though to anyone else it seems that she gives nothing away.

“A deal?” Ava squeezes her eyes shut, hating how badly her voice shakes.

“I could accompany you on these walks.” She opens her eyes. Beatrice looks deadly serious. "Before curfew.”

Ava swallows.

“Of course.”

“I would need to ask for permission.”

“Uh. Uh,”

“But I don’t see why the Knight-Commander would say no. Exercise is important.”

“Totally, yeah.” Ava blinks, and the full import of what Beatrice is saying finally sinks in. “Wait, you’re really willing to do that for me?”

For the first time that night, Beatrice’s lips curve into a smile. Ava can count the instances this has happened on the fingers of one hand with room to spare. She clutches the fleeting sight to her chest, stores it in the same place in which she keeps the rest. Beatrice smiling broadly after Shannon had complimented her sword form. Beatrice laughing at one of Mary’s quips, a hand raised to cover the full extent of it.

Beatrice smiling at her - for her - the day Ava had managed to light a candle through her magic without it melting away.

“I will ask tomorrow.” A loon calls from across the lake, and Beatrice’s eyes track skyward, measuring time. “I can accompany you on your walks and you can teach me how to… unwind.” On the verge of a bigger smile, her mouth quivers. Beatrice swallows it down, and Ava vows to work it out of her somehow.

Ava nods.

“That sounds fair.” She breathes in, filling her lungs to bursting with air and with courage, and adds. "A little earlier, I could show you the ducklings."

"You could." Beatrice's smile, much like the moon overhead, is in its waning phase. It lingers, however, a sliver of a reflection in her eyes. "I'd like that."

#warrior nun #avatrice #ava x beatrice #ava silva #sister beatrice #dragon age au #dren writes

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