#tales from customer service

[borderlineborderline]

Oh. Right. It really is the kindness and humanity in small interactions between individuals that makes the world go round.

I was fuming angry earlier after spending 45 minutes trying, with intense difficulty and numerous barriers (likely by design) to cancel an Amazon membership. This finally culminated in a customer support phone call which I wasn’t fond of by nature of not liking phone calls to begin with, but which was all the worse for the aforementioned fuming anger. I was nice to the customer service person of course because it’s not her fault billionaire weirdos create intentionally flawed and impersonal systems to maximize profit and personally annoy me (ha).

And anyway, she said hi how are you and I said oh I’m okay how are you and she said fine thanks for asking. She helped me achieve my goal and I told her to have a lovely day and then I went on to clear my email of all the annoying stuff Amazon sends you during this process and then nearly burst into tears because I noticed, almost having missed it, that the customer service lady had left me a note in the email confirming my account closure.

And I thought, oh. And the anger was gone. That’s really what it’s all about huh?

[stevishabitat]

Customer ordered at 11:30pm. Chose Next Day Air shipping. Then got mad that the shipment went out at 6:45am. "You didn't even give me a chance to change my shipping! I want a discount because I wanted cheaper shipping!"

Mr. First-Name Last-Name the Third, from expensive zip code in expensive state, attending a private university with class start date over two weeks ago...

When a customer orders Next Day Air, that package goes out first thing in the morning and gets on an airplane so that people Like You don't call us telling us that they paid $150 for overnight and didn't get it in time for school in the morning.

So no, after you click Review Your Order and then click Finalize Your Order, you do not have an option to change anything.

"But you weren't even open!"

Our call center operates 7am-10pm. Our warehouse operates 24 hours. And yep, that does mean that our first UPS pick-up happens before the phones are turned on.

"But I'm used to being able to change things after I finalize an order."

I really don't care what you are used to. Probably people bending over backwards for you and covering stupid mistakes like Shipping Option Buyers Remorse. That's not really what I'm here for.

Our policies are not unusual for a mid-size textbook distributer.

We're not Amazon. And honestly, Amazon has warnings on their check out page alerting you that you may not be able to make changes after the order is placed. If you chose Next Day on an Amazon shipment, it would probably be handled exactly the same way. Out the door ASAP, no chance to make any changes.

Because most people who choose expedited shipping do so because they want the item to arrive quickly. Go figure 🤷‍♀️

There is no way to make all the people happy all the time. And my patience with people who think they are the exception to everything... let's just say it's not very robust.

I have been doing this for 10 years now and I have Heard It All.

Mr. The Third you are not that special.

[rushinator]

Me: Would you like a bag?

Customer: Scoop me mommy.

Me: (Blink blink) I’m sorry, what??

Customer: Do you have forks?

[tachypodion]

just a little psa: if a big part of your job is calling people, especially if you work in the healthcare industry, it's generally good manners to not chew something incredibly sticky right next to the microphone the entire time you're on a call

[dyslexiccherry]

The part i hate the most about customer service is how clients are constantly talking to you like you’re worth nothing. The ones who yell and act crazy aren’t the worst ones, it’s when they act like you’re incompetent, stupid and worthless.

And the worst part is? You can’t say anything back, you just have to sit there and take it. Feeling like you’re not respecting yourself because you’re not standing up for yourself.

[elenion-cosplay]

Customer service is barely holding in your hysterical laughter while a Karen™️ yells at you that she'll never visit this establishment again.

[caterjunes]

i keep feeling guilty about the like. state-sponsored employment counseling/resources i'm getting. (i basically have a case manager for job-hunting or continuing education, a work-health counselor to help me balance my disability/health needs with whatever work i end up doing, and uhhhh maybe a couple others i forgot.) but then i remember of the 10 years i've been out of school i've actually been full-time permanently employed for roughly 3 of them, and fully unemployed for about 3 of them as well. and i'm like oh yeah okay. i do actually need extra support & assistance.

[biodegradablebisexual]

Translating what your coworker in the customer service department said to you:

They said: (Customer) is dedicated to making sure this is resolved quickly.

They meant: (Customer) will not allow me to disconnect this call until we have an answer for them, so I need you to figure this out.

They said: (Customer) advised they are expecting a call back from you.

They meant: This person let you a voicemail a week ago, why the fuck haven’t you called them back?

They said: I advised the customer that you will have to assist them with this issue moving forward.

They meant: This is so far above my pay grade and I have neither the time nor the will to cover the fact that you messed up.

They said: (Customer) asked me to pass along the following suggestion about (thing we do here).

They meant: Here’s some utterly unfeasible and high-key insane “suggestions” from someone who does not understand the logistics of what we do here. I hope you laugh as hard as I wanted to.

They said: I do think it’s important that we bear in mind the timeline we’re working on.

They meant: You’re delusional if you think I’m going to have time to get that done before the deadline that you gave me.

They said: Just a heads up, you’re probably going to get a really weird email from (Customer) pretty soon.

They meant: I was unable to give this person everything they have ever wanted, plus my first born, and $7 billion, so they’re about to send you an email letting you know how Incompetent and Disrespectful I am 🙃

[lemonduckisnowawake]

So a while back @floorbacon0621 was talking about a hallmark movie where a woman body hijacked a rich lady but then realized all she wanted was family for Christmas.

Cue @emarynn going "eh, sounds boring" and me going "WELL CHALLENGE ACCEPTED."

The below is the result, transcribed (copy/pasted) from Discord because I realized I wanted it somewhere I could find before it got buried (it's already been buried actually) from all our chatter....which means I need a new tag for my personal writing stuff. BUT ANYWAY

Woman- gets isekaid into rich lady ML - rich guy whom rich lady is engaged to Rich lady - gets isekaid into woman

Plot: rich lady sees this sad and hectic ADHD family that is just NOT managing holidays well and is giving stress upon stress to each other and is like "all right, imma straighten you all out cause i'm a doctor" and actually starts helping the woman's family cope. Woman's family is like "woah, daughter, college in the city really has changed you. maybe this was a good idea after all." Meanwhile, woman is not at ALL happy to be in rich lady's body and is annoyed with rich guy who is doing his uttermost to scare off rich lady to break off the engagement, but woman isn't gonna do that cause this isn't her life - and rich guy is confused cause it was about to succeed, so what the heck? Woman wasn't really looking forward to the holidays cause her family is SO chaotic and it drives her nuts, and she guesses that this is a great way to escape but…they were expecting her and she still LOVES them, so she's gonna check. Unfortunately, before she can do anything, she's pulled into rich people christmas stuff with rich guy as her confused date. She finds all the bluster and pomp way too annoying and almost worse than her family's chaos but, again, not her life so she doesn't say anything. She likes the food thought, but everything is so fake that it just pricks at her even more until she can't take it and just….leaves the party at one point to hide.

Rich guy comes after her and they have an emotional moment or idk, which now confuses HER cause where was the rude guy? To which he admits he was trying to break up the engagement cause there's someone he loves who is not as wealthy and thought the best way was to act mean. To which the woman, in utter bafflement, is like, "Dude. It's a free country. Just…..break it off? You're over the age? Is there like any formal contract?" "Uh…no" "??????????? Then why don't you just break it off?" "They'll disown me. I don't have any job experience!" "??? Are you serious? You're in training to be the CEO? And you have a college degree? Just….use that to get a job???" "Oh…." "Uh huh." Anyway, cue woman accidentally making things better without even meaning to in her comedic shenanigans to just CALL HOME and see how everyone's doing, interspersed with cuts from rich girl who is having a blast organizing everything but thinks she should probably find a way to get back to her body cause being an heiress is great.

Anyway, blah blah blah, magic of Christmas, switcheroo goes back to normal after they meet and tell them all the happenstances ("you broke off my engagement?" "NO! He broke off his engagement with YOU! I didn't say I'd accept or anything! And you actually made my family functional?" "Yeah, being a psych and med student is great" "…..i hate rich people" ":DDD") End movie

[moonlightsylph]

Sometimes we get some cute things at work 💕

[melancholic-pigeon]

OOF.

okay.

Uh.

Yeah I am not okay and I need to stop saying I am because I'm not.

This flare-up of depression since quitting nicotine has gotten extremely, extremely bad, and I'm basically either crying or lying in bed staring at the wall failing to sleep. I don't like to inflict myself on others when I feel like this, but that's actually somewhat counterproductive because it means I self-isolate which makes the depression worse etc etc.

So. Uh. Yeah. I'm really struggling and not doing well at all, and I'm not sure anymore if my stubbornness is enough that I'll be fine eventually. It's getting harder.

I don't want to scare anyone, I don't think I'm in danger and if I were I would go to the hospital, but uh. Yeah. Stuff that's going on with me. It's not great and I'm a lying liar who lies by constantly insisting I'm either totally okay or will be, and I'm trying to break myself of that habit.

It just...it's really, really bad tonight.

[goth-goro]

I HAVE OFFICIALLY HAD THE NICEST HUMAN INTERACTION OF ALL TIME

ok sO. i work at a hotel at the front desk, and there’s a collection convention in town, so a bunch of vendors are staying with us since we’re right by the convention center. and one of the vendors was checking in the other day wearing a pokemon hat (specifically Ghastly) and i said i liked it and she said “oh we sell them! what’s your favorite pokémon, maybe we have one of them!” and i said like. probably not, my favorite is dugtrio because i think it’s just the dumbest little thing and the idea that a pokemon was so dumb that it’s evolution was just “fuck it there’s three of them” is super funny. (i also showed her that i keep a dugtrio card in my phone case for moral support.)

and then!! like a half hour or so later! her partner comes to the front desk and just!! hands me a dugtrio sticker like it’s a drug deal and goes “this is for you” like!! that’s so sweet!!! nothing else to the interaction they just wanted to give me a little sticker!!!

and i thought that was the end of it but then they came by the other day and asked what my favorite was again because they were opening decks, and i said i love diglett and dugtrio, and she basically said alright and walked away. and then TODAY, i come into work and my coworkers handed me an envelope with two diglett cards in it. and i just. god humans can be so nice sometimes. like these people were selling at a convention and were opening card packs and got a few they didn’t want and instead of just putting them in a box somewhere they thought hey. that kid at the front desk might want these. didn’t leave a card or a name, wasn’t trying to get me to buy their stuff. just wanted to make a stranger smile, and went out of their way to do that.

i know the world sucks sometimes but these are the moments i remember that i really do love people. i can be pretty nihilistic but i think that the things that give me the most hope are the little ways most people are always thinking about the people around them, and i think we’ll be okay if we just nurture that sort of kindness.

anyways. i hope you enjoy my waxing poetic about diglett cards.

[bluedawnflower]

[spaceydelusions]

My coworker: what's the worst thing that's been thrown at you

Me: knife from my mom

Coworker: excuse me?

He was not expecting that lore drop

[settlercolonialismisbad]

Veterinary Story Time

I work in a veterinary hospital. I talk to no less than 100 different clients and other people each day. We process approximately 40 to 50 animals on any given day. Often, I am in a position to answer the phone.

In one such situation today, I answered the phone and an individual immediately started berating me and the veterinary technician who was caring for his animal because he had been told half an hour ago that the tech was busy, and would call him back as soon as she could, and she had not called him yet. Ironically, I had run to answer this phone call directly from holding down a fractious cat and assisting with the placement of an IV while the technician in question placed it and began to administer life-saving fluids.

In the hospital today, we had several emergencies, unexpectedly complicated surgeries, and almost every single pet parent had been very late or very early for their appointment and pickup times that day. We were literally running between tasks.

His dog was a drop off, meant to stay all day. He insisted that he had plans tonight (we close at 6 PM and it was 4:30 when I answered the phone), and that his animal really needed our extra support and that we were currently failing at it. I had not even had the opportunity to get his pet’s name yet.

I told him that currently, there were several animals in the hospital that required immediate attention. He then told me not to be passive aggressive and asked me if he “needed to go full on karen with me and ask for my manager.”

I asked him what his pets name was and he interrupted me midsentence to ask for my name. I told him. I began to repeat my question so I could check on his animal and he then launched into a diatribe, “[my name], you should really institute a dropoff system that actually works if you’re going to have dropoff appointments…”

(btw- it works great when people pick up and drop off their pets on time and there are a limited number of emergencies, but we are a HOSPITAL. In general, please know that if the medical staff can give you a solid pick up time when they talk to you, they will because they don’t want your animal taking up space that could go to another animal any longer than you do.)

At this point he actually started screaming into the phone so loud that so that the person next to me winced. I said “Sir, you’re yelling. The technician will call you back as soon as they possibly can. They have not forgotten. That was inappropriate and I’m going to hang up the phone now.”

Half an hour later, I have informed the technician of what has transpired and am collecting my water bottle from the front desk before I clock out. They had told me to hurry up and get out of there before he got there because his ire had been transferred to me from the tech and they were afraid of what would happen if he saw me. She said he had been angry and hyperventilating when she called him back.

He busts through the crowd of people waiting for their pets (because of course everyone showed up at once) and leans on the desk over the scale to ask my coworker and I, “Which one of you is [my name]?” I replied that it was me. He told me that I “really needed to be more careful how I talk to people” because “he’s bipolar and I triggered him and…” at this point, I said, “OK, I’ll go let them know that you’re here.” And I walked into the back and let the crew know that it was too late and that I had not made it out before he got there.

It was way past time for me to leave, so I’m trying to get out of there as fast as possible and plan to use a side exit. I put on a hoodie and take off my glasses and walk out of a side exam room door, not even turning to glance at the lobby. He follows me out of the lobby and takes a picture of me with his phone. I told him that I was a private citizen and he didn’t have permission to take that picture. He ran away back inside, saying he could do what he wanted.

I turned around and walked away. One of our clients followed me and asked if I was OK because they had seen the whole interaction. I thanked them and told them I was OK and walked to my car and drove home.

This is a slightly more extreme example, but we deal with people who act in a similar manner quite frequently and it’s not mental illness, it’s entitlement. Anyone in any public-facing position will hear this and probably be reminded of a story or two of their own. That’s not ok, folks.

No one should ever treat people who serve the public in this way. Especially not the people who are scratched and bitten so that your dog’s overactive anal glands can be expressed regularly and who cry over your loved ones when it’s time to make a quality of life decision about your animals.

Sidenote, it’s also never OK to try to use a mental health diagnosis to intimidate other people into doing what you want or accepting their own mistreatment. they’re not accountable for your actions.

[rudylloyd]

customer service is wild bc ill have like 40-60 good nice people who I can have a polite conversation and then I'll have one woman who is absolutely enraged at the idea of my coworker taking a break that she threw all of her items at me and acted like it was my fault that my coworker forgot to turn off her register light