#talking about it so much just makes me all the more hellbent on going back asap 😂

[liyazaki]

Hello! This is @vegasandhishedgehog

Been meaning to ask for a while, but I am hoping to make a trip to Thailand in about 6 months (April-Mayish) and I wanted to ask for any advice you could give since you did yours! I'd be going on my own, which is a little daunting, but I am considering making part of my trip a guided tour so I won't be entirely lost. I got started working on the language and need to pick it back up 😅 but I really want to be able to communicate/read at least some. Anything you can think of is welcome, and if you know anyone else who might help I'd love to be referred to them as well!

that’s so exciting! solo travel can be intimidating but a blast, too- and in my opinion, Thailand would be a great, pretty safe place to do it. my awesome travel partner @flukenatouch could give her own advice, and my friend @parralex0889- who we got to hang with in both Bangkok and Phuket!- has been to Thailand many times and may be able to give you reccs, too.

we were happily surprised (and very grateful) at how many people knew conversational English, so you should be able to get by just fine with some basic Thai.

another thing that surprised us was how impressed- sometimes even thrilled- people were with the bare-bones Thai we knew, which makes me think that a lot of foreigners don’t learn even basic greetings before going to Thailand. making a point of speaking at least a little Thai (even if it’s just hi, thank you & yes/no) is a small gesture of respect that goes a long way.

I’m not sure which cities you’re planning on going to, but one tour recommendation everyone says is a must, even if you don’t like tours (that we unfortunately just didn’t have time to do) is a cooking tour through Bangkok.

you meet with a chef and your tour group in the early morning hours at a market, and they help you pick out the ingredients you’ll need. the group then cooks a multi-course Thai meal before feasting. it seems like a really awesome way to get immersed in the culture while stuffing your face with authentic Thai cuisine (bonus: you’ll know how to cook it when you get back home).

now, onto my random AF but strongly felt opinions/musts (plus a warning or two):

7-11: aka Convenience Store Heaven

my first 7-11 dinner (of many) that cost maybe $6

if you told me that one of the things I’d miss the most about Thailand is their 7-11’s, I would’ve laughed in your face, but it’s a fact. be prepared to fall in love with- of all things- a convenience store; really, THE convenience store of Thailand. there are so many 7-11’s, some are literally across the street from each other.

here’s why we fell so hard: they all seemed to be open 24/7; they offer delicious, non-frozen Thai meal options for $1-$3 USD (that they’ll offer to heat up for you); they have decent, strong coffee that they prepare for you (no sticky self-service machines here), and they have plenty of non-food essentials, like body care, household items- even incense for the temples or to take home.

the best part- and why you’ll never catch me complaining about the sheer amount of 7-11’s? the selection actually varies from store to store, which kept us coming back. one even had prescription contact lenses for less than $7 USD, which I never saw at any other 7-11 we went to! you never know what you’re going to find- although I guarantee you’ll see sponsored products from the shows we all love in every one!

(sorry boys, but don’t believe Mile and Apo’s adorableness: that kombucha is horrendous & I love kombucha 🤣)

The Almighty Grab App

The Grab app was formerly owned by Uber, and has Uber’s same, basic function: connecting you with local, registered drivers- adding a level of safety/security you won’t get with most taxi services- who will get you from point A to point B for the exact rate listed in the app- no more, no less.

that last part is essential for budget reasons: with Grab, you know you aren’t going to get hit with astronomical “tourist rates”. it also eliminates language barrier stress because your driver will already know where they’re taking you.

all that being said: from 3PM on in Bangkok especially, hopping on the MRT (subway) or BTS (sky train) if you can will be much faster than ordering a Grab. we got stranded one night at our favorite budget shopping mall (Platinum Fashion Mall, my beloved) because the traffic was so bad, Grabs couldn’t get to us for hours!

another aside: unless you’re dead-set on the novelty of it, don’t waste your money on tuk-tuk’s. they’re expensive, slow and the drivers tend to be intense upsellers- some may try to divert you to jewelry stores and other shops where they get a kickback for your purchases. we don’t feel like we missed out on anything by skipping that “classic” experience.

back to my favorite part of Grab: it’s so much more than a taxi app. craving Tom Yum- or pizza, Taco Bell, whatever- at midnight? switch to the Delivery section of the app, order what you want and a Grab driver will have your food to you in less than 30 minutes (typically) for $1-$2 USD. break the zipper on your suitcase and need pliers to fix it (this actually happened to us 😂)? someone will go buy it and drop it off for again, $1-$2 (mind = still blown).

the Grab app also has a grocery delivery section and other features we didn’t have the time or need to check out. it seriously does everything and I don’t know what we would’ve done without it!

one caveat: if you want to use a card with the Grab app (they actually accept cash on arrival for everything, including rides), make sure you have a card that plays nice internationally/with Thai baht.

The Grand Palace + Scammer Avenue

99% of our interactions with locals were positive. the only scammers we ran into were outside The Grand Palace, and dear Lord- they’re pros!

the entrance to The Grand Palace is not the easiest to find, and the road leading to it is filled with people who will try to tell you the temple/grounds are closed for a special Buddhist holiday- some were even in uniforms with official-looking booths. don’t believe it: it’s a ruse to get you to hop on a tuk-tuk, usually to go to one of the kickback stores I mentioned before.

this is the intersection where we got hassled the most. if you find yourself there, get your power walk on, ignore them or tell them no if they’re being aggressive, and you’ll be fine.

The Grand Palace is a stunning feat of architecture, filled with cultural and religious significance- it’s worth it, I promise!

I could go on and on about the things we loved, experienced and what I’d love to do again, but we’d be here all day- plus, I’ve already written out most of it in the 30ish page Google Doc we made to plan the trip, if you’re really interested 🤪

it can be daunting to plan a trip like this, but we were so happy we did the legwork of figuring out what we wanted to do ahead of time. we knew what our priorities were (lots of BL filming locations, Thai massages and good food 😂) and how we’d make them happen, which freed us up mentally to enjoy ourselves and be spontaneous when we felt like it.

if you need more advice or have other questions as you’re planning, send me a message! 💖

[kamiversee]

Sukuna’s Fuck Buddy ꨄ

[ { Synopsis } ] ➤ You agree to be friends with benefits with Sukuna, not exactly expecting to get ruined in different ways every week.

[ { Need to know } ] ➤ This is a What-If scenario that stems from my fic; The F*ck List— A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt.

[ { Content & Warning } ] ➤ f!reader, dirty talk, tw; spitting, degrading, manhandling, pet names, fingering, unprotected sex, language, brief/slight exhibitionism, & Sukuna has a filthy mouth.

[ { Paring } ] ➤ Sukuna x f!reader.

[ { Word Count } ] ➤ 4.2k

"A whore," Sukuna commented, clearly joking but his words had made you uneasy.

It was oddly specific. You hadn't thought much of it when he called you a whore the night prior, since, y'know, you liked being degraded. But, something about that being his assumption for your occupation was a crazy coincidence.

Especially considering how hellbent Gojo always is on telling you not to call yourself that. The more you thought about it...

Gojo got upset at something from Sukuna's party, he didn't want you to call yourself a whore all of a sudden, Sukuna seems to have believed that was your actual job, and you remember how pissed Gojo seemed as he thought about you sleeping with Sukuna-

Holy fuck. Are the two connected somehow? Is something going on? What does Gojo owe Sukuna? Does Sukuna know you only slept with him as payment to clear Gojo's debt? Is-

A finger had poked your forehead and you blinked out of your thoughts.

Sukuna was chuckling, "I was joking, woman. Calm down." He uttered, "I actually thought you worked at one of those beauty stores."

You raised a brow, still feeling uneasy with the man. "Beauty stores?"

"Sephora, Ulta," He shrugged, "Wherever the fuck. I pictured you being one of those cute little cashiers."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment...?" You murmured.

"Or working at McDonald's, I don't know, I didn't think too hard on it-- jus' wanted to fuck you," Sukuna admitted honestly.

Your expression drops, "Oh..."

His hand had gone to your chin and he tipped your face up, "Do you want me to want something more from you?"

His gaze was intense like always, causing chills to slip down your back. You shook your head, "I mean, no... I only wanted you to fuck me."

"We could keep doing this," Sukuna suggested with a shrug, "Make' it a weekly thing."

You batted your eyelashes at him a few times in thought. At the time, things definitely would've gone differently had you not answered his request but... Somewhere deep down inside, you wanted to make it a weekly thing.

"Really?" You had asked the man, taking him by slight surprise.

Sukuna had wholeheartedly expected you to disregard his suggestion to you but, you didn't. "Yes, really," He replied before stepping closer to his bedside where you were seated and leaning toward you, "Let's fuck every week."

You stared at him with wide eyes for a long moment, contemplating numerous things in your head. Technically, you should've said no. You should've moved on from the topic, y'know, brushed his offer off entirely.

Yet there you were, steadily nodding your head in agreement before uttering a simple, "Okay."

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Which takes you to right now, a few weeks after said agreement where you find yourself in the backseat of one of Sukuna's cars, your legs sprawled out over his as you sit prettily in his lap.

Since agreeing to be friends with benefits with Sukuna, you and him have met up once a week, sometimes twice, just to fuck each other.

In Sukuna's right hand was his cell phone, the device up at his ear as he conversed with someone as if his free hand wasn't occupied with toying with your dripping cunt-- thick fingers fucking so deep into you and curling just right against your slick walls.

Your back was against his firm chest, lips parted with heavy pants and soft moans spilling from your throat as the lewd sound of Sukuna finger fucking you filled his vehicle.

Trying so hard not to be loud in courtesy of whoever he was on the phone with, you bit your lower lip, “Mmmh… Sukuna…” You mewl out gently.

He’s been at it for a while and you could even feel how hard his cock was against your ass, his tip leaking and member twitching beneath the fabric of his sweats every time you squirmed.

Sukuna sighs heavily and pulls the phone away from his mouth only to bring his lips to your ear, “Shut the fuck up. If she hears you, I’ll stop…” Pausing mid-sentence as your cunt squeezes tighter around his fingers, he smirks, “Slut.”

“P-Please… hah… don’t stop,” Your voice was filled with pure and utter need, just as he liked.

Sukuna angles his head down a bit, planting a soft and all too teasing kiss below your ear, his breath tickling your neck, “Then shut up.”

You’re nodding, closing your mouth, and swallowing down your own moans as he purposefully shoves his fingers into you at a rougher pace.

In and out and in and out, your pussy was gushing around his fingers— mouth opening and jaw dropping every now and then as he hit all the right spots.

“Fuck,” You curse under your breath as your torso leans forward and you shoot a hand down to grab his wrist.

Sukuna’s speaking to whoever he has on the phone but you only register a few words every now and then. “Mhmmmm,” He hummed and you swore that was directed toward you as your eyes flickered back— he knew you were close.

Sukuna’s fingers slid almost all the way out of your hole just to tease you, his fingertips slipping up to flick over your clit. A breathy moan leaves your lips as he rubs your clit aggressively, drawing circles over the bud and making your legs draw together.

“M’gonna cum,” You whine out quietly, struggling to keep your noises in.

He wanted to make things harder for you so he smirks, “Yeah?” Sukuna taunted, “Gonna’ make a mess? Hm?”

Your head just barely angled back to look at him, seeing that he didn’t bother to move the phone away or mute it so whoever he was talking to heard everything he just said. This overwhelming feeling of embarrassment and arousal shoots throughout your body and your face twists up in pleasure as Sukuna sinks his fingers back into you.

“No, not you,” He spat to whoever he was talking to on call, smirking at you afterward, “I told you I was busy when we first got on the phone…”

Your hips jerked forward a bit as you unintentionally moved to ride his fingers, panting and maintaining eye contact with the man. He nearly felt like he was getting high off of merely watching you grow so stupidly drunk in lust. 

“S’kuna…” You mumbled.

His cock ached in his sweats and he nodded, “Mhm, yeah, y’know what, I’ll call you back— I have a needy whore to take care of.”

You turned your head to face forward as he said that, once again feeling embarrassed and even squeezing your legs together a bit. The sound of Sukuna scoffing is heard and then his phone is, quite literally, tossed somewhere else.

He shifts and his now free hand goes to your hip as his other kneads into your pussy, making you dizzy in satisfaction as you continue trying to keep quiet.

“Look at you…” Sukuna taunts, “You’re about to cum, aren’t you?”

You nod stupidly, feeling the knot in your core build as your orgasm approaches, “Y-Yeah… fuck, please.”

“Hm? Please what?” He scoffs, as if he hadn’t had a tendency to strip you of your climax multiple times.

“Hah… Let me cum, p-please Sukuna,” Your voice was a needy but quiet whine and he bit his lower lip once he acknowledged you were still following his orders of being quiet.

Sukuna snickers, “Uhuh, I will,” He hums, “Jus’ keep squeezin’ around my fingers,” He leans forward so he could speak into your ear, low and rasped voice driving you over the edge, “Yeahhhh, like that— Fuckin’ whore.”

Your jaw drops and your mouth forms an immediate O shape as your eyes flicker, back arching, and whimper escaping your throat— you cum hard while still trying to be quiet, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as you do so.

There’s a slick sound of Sukuna still toying with your cunt as you come undone and then he sits back, parting his legs a bit as you readjust into his lap and his fingers slip out of you.

Sukuna coos, “See? Was that so hard? Now here,” He moves one hand to your throat, forcing your back to be against his chest as his other hand goes to your lips, “Clean yourself off my fingers, messy girl.”

His digits that’d just been inside you prod at your lips, tapping your lower one before you part them and Sukuna pushes his fingers in. He was such a nasty man, forcing you to taste yourself and clean your slick off his fingers— you couldn’t stand him sometimes.

Not to mention how he teases you as he does so, “Taste good, right?” Sukuna asked.

You whirl your tongue around his fingers and then pull off them with a hard and firm suck, a slight pop emitting from the action, “Mhm…”

“Good,” Both of Sukuna’s hands go to your hips and he lifts you up. You hardly realize what he’s doing until he forces you to turn around and face him. Then, he makes sure you remain hovering over his crotch as he works his cock out of his sweats, his eyes on yours as if he were seconds away from devouring you.

Sukuna looked ravished for you, tired of the past minutes he spent on some tedious phone call when he could’ve been buried inches into your sloppy hole. His eyes were low-lidded, maroon shade dazed with this feral need for you.

Oh, he was about to fuck the shit out of you— as he typically does. You’d picked up on that much, how his eyes would change, his breathing grown heavier, voice low and pitched with this sexy rasp that made your cunt flutter.

“Do me a favor,” Sukuna suddenly voices out, making you blink out of your daze. Your hands were on his broad shoulders, keeping yourself hovered over him. “Sit on this dick ‘nd make another mess f’me,” He instructed, words causing you to look down at his hard, slightly curved cock that’s been freed from his clothes.

It’s so damn intimidating— the way his veins bulge, how his hand jerks at his shaft in quick pulls, tip sticky and leaking precum as you stare with pretty wide eyes.

Your legs were straddling his already so, after a moment of admiring his cock, your eyes flicked back up to his face. Sukuna was glaring at you, impatiently waiting for you to plop down onto his twitching member.

His gaze sent a chill down your spine and your body was finally moving again. You lower yourself steadily as you glance down again but because of how slow you were living and how needy Sukuna was, he goes to grab your hips and pulls your cunt down to his cock, tip pressing up against your hole.

Both of you let out a heavy exhale in sync and you rock your hips forward just a little bit to ride his flushed tip.

“Don’t fuckin’ tease me, woman,” Sukuna breathes out, voice more airy than he would’ve liked.

You smirk, “Sukuna…” Your gaze lifts to his face once more, “You’re drippin’.” You whisper tauntingly.

His brows tense and his cock suddenly pushes up a few inches into you, a shallow thrust made in reaction to your words. Sukuna’s dirty talk was rubbing off on you and it drove him crazy. The hands on your waist grip even tighter, sure to leave marks as his fingernails dig into you and he slams you down on his dick.

Your eyes widen, face twists up, and a sluty moan leaves your throat, “Oh fuck-,”

“Told’ you not to fuckin’ tease me,” Sukuna huffs out in an aggravated tone. His big rough hands slide up to your waist and he holds onto you tightly before forcing you to ride him at the pace he wanted.

You’re moving to keep up with his motions as best you can, using your legs to lift yourself up and then plop your cunt down on his cock over and over— sucking him in deep and tight each time you go down.

Meanwhile, Sukuna’s forcing you through it, making sure you don’t slow down for even a second. “Needy ass couldn’t even let me finish my phone call,” He grunts out, “Pussy just needed my cock, huh? She’s that greedy?”

Your cunt just flutters and gushes around his dick, walls closing around his shaft as a moan slips past your lips, “I… ah, oh-, fuuck… m’sorry.”

“Aw, you’re sorry?” Sukuna mocks, “No you’re nottt, you wanted me off the phone, didn’t you?”

You shake your head, “N-No…”

“No? Hah,” That smirk of his starts to appear and his hands slide down your body, caressing your skin as you ride him in earnest, “You wanted them to hear?”

Your hips stutter in movement and your eyes widen, “I-“

“Wanted them to hear how desperate you are for some cock?” Sukuna huffs out, hips suddenly snapping up into you, “How dumb you get once it’s in you? Hm?”

“F-Fuck, Sukuna-, ah, mghh.” You whine, hips coming to an almost complete stop as Sukuna fucks his cock up into you, heavy balls slapping against your ass as his tip rams up into your cervix.

To make matters worse, he slaps your ass, “Did I say you could stop? Keep fuckin’ ridin’ me.” Sukuna orders meanly, making you whine as you find your movement again, earning a smirk from him in response to how your hips match his thrusts.

There was this slight shake to his car as you bounced up and down on his cock and he kept fucking it up into you, making it hard for you to think or even moan properly.

 He smirks and then holds your hips again, slamming you down slowly but roughly along with his words, “Mmmgh, just. like. that.” Sukuna groans, tossing his head back and breathing heavily.

The sight of him with his head back and neck exposed was so damn sexy, causing you to lean forward and move to his neck, pressing sweet but messy kisses all up and down his exposed skin.

Sukuna starts smiling, “Good girl.” He suddenly praises and your hips begin to rock back and forth, making his brows tense, “Aughhh, fuuuck, keep goin’, m’close.”

Because you had slowed again, you’d assume that he enjoyed it so you continued with a steady rock of your hips, keeping his thick length buried inside you as you did so.

He lets you continue like that for a minute or two but after that, he huffs, “I said ride me, whore. Don’t fuckin’ slow down.” Sukuna grunted.

For someone who was taunting you about being needy, he sure as hell had a thousand demands on how you should be riding him— as if he doesn’t know his dick is hard to take at some point.

Your brows furrow and your lower lip sticks out into a slight pout, one he finds so fucking cute. Sukuna moves his hands to your thighs, somewhat under them to aid you, and then he’s forcing your pussy to slick up and down him again.

You let out a little scoff before looking off to the side, “Shit…” Sukuna was thrusting up into you again, bullying his cock into your dripping cunt and forcing you to ride him through it.

“C’mon,” He smirks, “Take it—, fuck me.” He suddenly breathes out.

A shocked moan exits your mouth and your eyes are glossy as they find his, “W-What? Mmh…” You breathe. Did he just say what you thought he did?

“You heard me,” Sukuna’s smirk widens and slowly eases into a sexy almost fucked out smile “I said fuck me. Fuck me like you wanna make me cum,” He huffs, your body responding through upping your pace, “Yeahhhh that’s it.” Sukuna breathes, head flying back again.

The car creaked and bounced with the frantic movements of sex occurring inside, windows fogged, your tits jumping almost in his face, plush walls clamping down on his dick so good that he felt like he was losing his sanity.

Oh Sukuna was addicted. He can’t have any other woman on his cock that’s not you, not when you ride him so well and certainly not when your hand is abruptly felt on his throat.

Sukuna lets out a groan that’s treacherously close to a moan, his head tipping up from the seat as his eyes find yours, “Oh? You kinky fuckin’ woman, chokin’ me like this…” He grunts, smiling again afterward, “Can hardly feel those small fingers of yours…”

Truth is, he could feel your fingers. Blood rushed to Sukuna’s face and his cock, his mind dazed for a second as you choked him whilst riding him. He would never submit to you but goddamn you were making it difficult.

Your hole just sucked him up like a vice and your walls were so snug and warm, wetness coating his dick and even parts of his thighs. He was about to cum but he didn’t want you to think you’d got the best of him.

So, Sukuna tips his head to the side and brings a hand to your wrist, “This is cute but,” He pulls your hand off his neck, “Lemme show you how it’s done, pretty girl.”

Your lashes bat in disbelief before Sukuna’s manhandling you again, flipping you both over as his large muscular frame looms over yours. His big hands go to your legs and he spreads them fast and wide enough so that he can slam his cock back inside you.

Your back is arching off the seat of the car as soon as he pushes all the way into you, the sudden change in position making his leaky tip reach deeper than before.

One hand is propped up by your head and the other goes to your throat, Sukuna’s fingers carefully wrapping around you and feeling the way broken moans vibrate against your throat.

“Mmph… ah, ‘kuna,” You slur out as his thrusts pick up all over again. Something is mumbled under your breath and he finds it funny how you could barely get it out.

Tilting his head, “Huh? What was that? Speak up.”

You groan, “Harder,” His eyes widen and his hips just ram down into you at a merciless pace before you get out what you meant, “Choke m-me… mmh, f-fuck… h-harder, oh my… ahh, ngh…”

“Harder? You want me to choke you harder?” Sukuna repeats and you nod, earning a slight laugh from him, “Of course you do, slut.” As the last word leaves his lips, his hand is squeezing around your throat, making it hard for you to breathe while he recklessly pounds into your cunt.

“M-Mmmh,” You hum, eyes rolling back as that damn curve of his knocks into you just right, “F-Fuck. Ohmygod, f-fuuck…” You curse between a whine.

His face is hovering over yours, “Feel me in there?” You nod and he bites his lip for a moment, “Yeah?”

Sukuna just thrusts harsher and harsher, and then faster, pelvis crashing into yours over and over as the lewd sounds of sex escape his car with how sloppy it was getting. His cock was covered in you but only greedy for more, plunging in and out of you as he groans at the way you just suck him back in every time he pulls out.

“Want me to slow down?” Sukuna suddenly suggests. Again, you just nod, almost too fucked out to speak anymore. “Awww, but you’re takin’ me jus’ fine at this pace,” He praises, making your cunt throb about him.

“S’too… y-you’re so… hahh… mgh, f-fucking big-,” You moan out weakly.

Those words make his thrusts stutter and he grunts, “What? I’m what?” Sukuna questions, almost like he needed to hear you say that again. His face leans down to yours and his lips ghost your wet ones, “What am I? Say that again.” He whispers.

Your heavy breaths brush up against his lips as both of you hold such intimate eye contact with one another, “B-Big, S’kuna… S-So fuckin’ big…” You cry out, gentle tears beginning to leave your eyes.

The man unintentionally beats his cock down into your messy cunt, “Big? Ohhhh, don’t fuckin’ tell me that.” Sukuna groans, again sounding all too close to a moan, “Take it.” He huffs.

You nod yet again, “Uhuh… m-mmh, oh…”

“Yeahhh, take it you whore.” Sukuna huffed, “Every fuckin’ inch like a good girl, mhm-, fuck,” He finally moaned, eyes flickering for only a moment.

He was too into it, too into you— literally. Sukuna felt like he was in your stomach, the bulge of his cock so prominent with his every thrust. Never was he really gentle with you, not during the sex at least, there was no need to be. You liked him rough and he knew that.

“M’gonna cum inside you.” Sukuna suddenly warns, hips sloppy against you, “Fuck my cum nice ‘nd deep inside you,” He huffs, feeling how you twitch around him.

Then, Sukuna stares down at your face, his hand still around your neck as he gets a sudden thought, glancing down to your lips.

“Open your mouth,” Sukuna orders, his voice deep. Your lips are parting without a second thought and Sukuna looks you dead in the eyes as he spits onto your tongue. First, it’s one messy drip, then another filthy glob.

Oh that was nasty, he was nasty. And the fact that his action only turned you on even more really said something about you.

“Swallow it,” He demands right after, watching as you shut your mouth and do as told. Then, he feels the movement in your throat against his palm and he chuckles, “Fuck, that’s sexy… You’re such a nasty lil’ slut f’me, I like that.”

Sukuna leans down to you and the grip on your throat grows tighter, his lips moving to swallow yours up. It was a messy and heated kiss, your moans and whimpers being drowned out as his tongue slithered into your mouth.

The wet slick and slide of his mouth over yours filled the air and all you could hear was that and the brutal smack of his hips down into you as his cock unforgivingly kissed your cervix. Over and over and over again until your orgasm crashes over you.

Only then does Sukuna pull away from your lips, a messy wad of saliva hanging between the two of you as he speaks slowly and his voice makes you lose it because of that damn breathy rasp, “Pussy’s creaming ‘round me, shit.” He breathes out, slowing down his thrusts just so you can pay attention to it, “Hear that? Hear how she gushes ‘round my cock?”

It was messy, sloppy, and slick as he dragged his dick in and out of your pulsing walls. This is what it was like to be Sukuna’s fuck buddy. Whenever or wherever he wanted to take you, he would— spewing such filth out to you as he did so, no matter who heard him.

He didn’t care, he just wanted to make sure you heard him, heard his every nasty word because he knew you liked it. Hell, that’s why you’re cumming around his cock now, moaning beneath him, legs shaking, and tears streaming down your face.

Just as you’re coming undone, so is he, pace picking right back up as he fucks his orgasm into you— warm seed coating your walls as he leaned to your ear, groaning out a repeated and breathy ‘take it’ as you whined and suddenly clawed at his back.

“Take every drop,” Sukuna moans into your ear. You think he might have a breeding kink-, “Fuckin’ slut,” He adds on.

He’s going and going until he thrusts in hard one last time and stills himself. His breathing was so heavy in your ear, heavy like pants almost-, almost like you’d drained him of everything he had.

Sukuna remains still for a while before he shifts only a little, lips moving to your cheek as he kisses your wet skin. Then, it’s slow but his tongue slides out and he licks whatever's left of your tears off your face.

Your face twists up in slight discomfort due to his wet tongue and the fact that his heavy cock was still inside you wasn’t making things any better, “…Sukuna,” You sigh, “D-Don’t you have a phone call t-to return…?”

He smiles at how you remind him, despite your fucked out state and how ragged your voice was. Sukuna slowly moves to lean up but, he doesn’t pull out yet, “Mhm, I do. And uh,” He sits back a bit and pulls your body along with his, making sure he never once slips out of you, “You’re gonna keep my cock nice ‘nd warm in the meantime.”

His words catch you off gaurd, “But-“

His hand goes to your lower abdomen and Sukuna traces his fingertip over the slight print his dick makes against your skin, “You don’t want to?” He asks, tipping his head to the side.

Blinking, you just let out a sigh after a long moment of thought, “No, I do…”

“Alright then,” Sukuna smiles, “But if you make any noise, I’ll video call instead and show them the needy woman I gotta deal with,” He comments finally with a cocky little wink.

tags;

@blognicole @suguruologist @luqueam @ivoryviness @sinaxalui @rxnnie18 @carlacujo @gods-landing @bitchysouljellyfish @miles4hour @sinaxalui @annananamin @heart-snow @kiyomizzx @hanuh @acehyacinth @mccookiemonster @tojis-ball-sack @cartwheel6869 @mariluvsusstuff @addie1010 @slammynics @actualz0mbie @hisbitchhh @kay-xle @cunttee3 @voids-universe @raininglovelyfire @itsbokutosjuicyass @peaceoutbritta @barbielani @gennaray @r3inae @kfmcykdy @camiihutt @tokina @curtin81937 @hopefullydecent @nameless-shade @ureuphoriasworld @forgetfulmachine @legbouk @lilliaannn @clementineee0-0 @divinelseraph @didibxx

[worldlxvlys]

the back

nate doe x sturniolo reader

warnings: smutttt, p in v, semi-public sex, overstimulation, oral (fem + male receiving), fingering

a/n: hope you likeee, based off of these texts

ever since chris had found out about mine and nate’s relationship, it seemed as though he was hellbent on spending more time with him.

it was almost as though he assumed that nate would stop hanging out with him as much, and that i was going to steal him away.

what was actually happening, however, was the opposite.

i had barely seen nate at all in the past week, and whenever we tried to spend time together, chris would barge into my room and somehow steal nate away.

so, deciding i was sick of it, i barged into his room.

“what the-” he started, but stopped when he saw me flash the palm of my hand at him, silently telling him that i wasn’t going to listen to him.

“i’m stealing my boyfriend, is that ok with you?” i asked as i walked over to nate, grabbing his hand.

“not really, we were going to-” again, i stopped him from talking, “i don’t care” i spoke before walking out, nate following behind me.

“damn, you could’ve let the man finish” nate spoke, earning a slight glare from me.

“so he gets to finish and i don’t?” i raised my eyebrows at him.

“you’re so quick to make everything dirty” he spoke with a roll of his eyes.

“shut the hell up” i spoke before walking towards his car.

as soon as we got in, i pulled my dress up to expose my lower half.

“fuck, no panties?” he asked, watching as i spread around the arousal that had accumulated as a result of his teasing.

“shut up and drive” i spoke back.

“what if i don’t want to?” he asked, his hand creeping up my thigh.

i quickly slapped his hand away, “get in the back” i told him.

“i- here? right in front of your house?” he asked, dumbfounded.

“i told you to drive, you didn’t want to. so, get in the back”

he didn’t argue after that, immediately moving to do as i said.

when we got to the back, i was quick to straddle his lap.

i brought my hand to his face, cupping it as i took in his features.

“what’s up, baby?” he asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.

“nothing, i just missed you” i shrugged lightly, gently rubbing my thumb across his cheek.

his face broke out into a grin at the words, his hands resting on my waist.

“i’m right here” he spoke, pulling me into a sweet kiss, “and i missed you too” he added.

“you better have” i said before placing my lips on his.

his lips were soft, caressing mine with every movement. the kiss started off slow and loving, but gradually grew heated after a little while.

our hands roamed each others bodies, grabbing any exposed skin that was available.

the sound of our soft moans filled the car, while one of nate’s hands made its way under my dress, squeezing my ass. his other hand rested on my thigh, lightly rubbing the skin.

i was desperate for more, needing to feel him inside of me, but i also wanted to soak in the moment. so instead of rushing it, i allowed myself to take the time to enjoy every moment with him.

nate detached his lips from mine, moving them to my neck to press kisses to my skin.

my eyes fluttered closed as nate lightly nibbled and sucked at the skin, making sure to leave marks.

he moved one of the straps of my dress down, just enough to expose one of my tits.

he picked up where he left off with the kisses, now focusing on littering my boob with them.

he took the nipple into his mouth, eliciting a drawn out moan from me when he began to suck on the small bud.

he swirled his tongue around it, leaving a light peck before giving my other boob the same treatment.

i moved my hands down between us, hooking my fingers onto the band of his sweatpants. i tugged them down far enough for his dick to spring out, slapping against his stomach.

i spit into my hand, using it to stroke him before lining him up with my entrance. he pulled up my dress, bunching it up at my waist while i sunk down onto him.

“fuck” i sighed out, leaning forward to leave kisses on his neck.

his hands gripped my ass while i began to roll my hips into his.

“you always take me so fucking well, so good for me” he groaned.

“so beautiful, can’t believe you’re mine” he mumbled. i couldn’t help but clench around him at his words.

“all yours nate” i moaned back to him while i continued to rock my hips.

i grasped his shirt in my hands, bunching up the material while my head fell into the crook of his neck.

“so fucking good, you’re so good nate” i moaned into his skin as i moved on top of him.

he suddenly picked me up, holding me so i was just above his lap, before thrusting into me.

“oh my god, nate” i cried out as i wrapped my arms around his neck.

“yeah? that feel good?” he groaned out as he pushed himself in and out of my tight walls.

my pussy held a tight grip on him and his thrusts were slow, allowing me to feel every inch of him as he stretched me out.

“yes, yes feels so good. i can’t- please don’t stop” i moaned as my face scrunched up in pleasure.

he moved his mouth to one of my tits, while his hand went to rub circles on my clit roughly.

my eyes rolled into the back of my head, mouth hanging open as i felt my orgasm creeping up on me.

“nate ! i’m gonna cum, gonna-” i was barely even able to finish my sentence before i released all over him.

i moved off of his lap, getting on my knees beside him to begin stroking his member.

“shit” he sighed out as i placed my mouth on his tip.

i moved my hair to the side as i fully took him into my mouth, bobbing my head up and down .

he was quick to pull me closer, pushing two fingers into me from behind.

the feeling of his fingers plunging in and out of me pulled a long moan from me, making nate buck his hips up into my mouth.

i gagged around him when he pushed himself deeper into my throat, causing me to pull my mouth off of him, replacing it with my hand.

i looked up at him while i twisted my hand around him, feeling him twitch in my hand, “you gonna cum for me?”

he nodded in response, unable to form words as he stared down at me with his jaw falling slack.

“give it to me, baby. i want you to cover me in it” with those words, his head flew back as thick spurts of his cum shot out of him, landing on my face and chest.

“turn around for me, wanna clean you up” he spoke.

i did what he said, turning to face the car door on the opposite side.

he hooked his hands around my legs, pulling me closer to him before i felt his tongue on my thigh.

i let out a low whine when i felt him lick the cum that dripped down my leg from my orgasm.

he followed the trail up, before leaving kitten licks to my sensitive folds. the teasing swipes of his tongue made my brain fuzzy, and my sensitive pussy clenched around nothing.

he spread my folds out with his hand, pushing his tongue into my tight hole to slurp up every drop of my pleasure.

when he finished, he let out a satisfied hum and gave my ass a light slap.

“that’s better” he spoke, a cheeky grin overtaking his face. i looked at him with wide eyes, as he began to lick his lips.

“you’re insane” i spoke to him, watching as he tucked away his dick.

“don’t act like you didn’t eat that shit up” he spoke as he raised his eyebrows at me.

“speaking of eating, i’m hungry” i spoke as i adjusted my dress, fixing myself up.

“date night?” he asked.

my mouth grew into a smile as i answered, “yeah. but aren’t you supposed to buy a girl dinner before you have sex with her?” i asked jokingly.

“who said i wasn’t having sex with you after?” he asked smugly.

much love <33

main masterlist

fwb! nate masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @vib3swithanuk @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @abbie13sworld @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @freshloveforthefit @sturniozo @creamoncreamoncream2 @whos-avi @rootbeerworshiper @sturnibugz @bbglmfao @drewsmusee @breeloveschris @ineedchriscock

[sneaky-eel]

Desmond, bartender in 2000s-2010s New York would absolutely binge shitty reality tv and adore eavesdropping on patrons when he can't get his drama fix. He's the RPG tavern owner who you ask if he has heard any rumors and his eyes light up because now he can info dump all the shit he hears. This follows him to the past, where now he has to actively seek out this entertainment.

He abuses his enhanced senses to sit on roofs and listen in with a hand to his mouth like, "oh my god. They were roommates." He is both the best informant and the worst because, while he is a master at getting information, the details he focuses on are useless to the Order.

"Yeah so this guy will be here at this time at this place, whatever. But! More importantly this guy has been having an affair with his wife's sister AND her brother and-"

"Please, Desmond, I am begging you just tell me the information for the mission."

--------

In Altair's time, Malik was originally Desmond's go to but after being chased out one to many times for "loitering and disturbing the peace of the bureau" (i.e. Malik's peace) Desmond switches to the Rafiq in Damascus since he "at least appreciates me." Eventually Malik would begrudgingly miss his presents and send a request for him to come back because Desmond is the only one he can rant at about Altair.

Altair does not know what the hell Desmond is talking about half the time, but now he does know the baker has three sons that his wife never knew of and one of the sons has shown up at the baker's home.

He normally will just let Desmond keep talking cause he likes his voice.

---------

In Ezio's time he is best friends with Claudia and her girls love him. He'll drop in and gossip with them about their patrons or even warn them about some of them. "Be careful I heard that he has some craziness going on between the legs." or the girls will ask questions about Ezio.

"I heard he is a beast in bed, is that true?"

"Well you didn't hear it from me, buuuut~"

He is 100% going off of hazy animus memories, but all the courtesans totally think he has either A.) slept with Ezio or B.) is actively sleeping with Ezio

With Claudia he talks about the goings on in Tiber Island and what Ezio is up to. Ezio doesn't know how the hell his sister knows everything he is doing or why he gets a message from her forbidding him from doing something he hasn't even gotten to do yet and Desmond just stands off to the side sweating.

---------

Connor is gonna go gray early with how often Desmond just disappears from the Homestead because he seems hellbent on not staying still as it gets "to boring there". Desmond will normally pop up in the strangest of places. Either Connor will find him, head tilted like a dog as he listens in on a group or Desmond will just hunt Connor down himself. "Heard you were in the area."

At time he loves it because Desmond always has a ready flow of information and he is very good at sowing discontent with it, making for good distractions. On the other hand he can do without the open commentary or rampant attention he gives any interaction Connor has with his father.

"It's so much more interesting when it's not me"

*Connor and Haytham both glare at him*

[cookinguptales]

Can I ask you to do a post about Disney & disability please? You mentioned it and I’d love to know more!

Well, my notifications can't get any messier, so why not?

This post got very, very long because I ended up talking about a lot of the accessibility solutions in detail (and... ranting about how accessibility at Universal was so bad that I got physically injured there) so I'm putting it under a cut for you.

To preface this, I have mobility issues (as well as a lot of food intolerances/allergies) and general chronic illness, my sister is Deaf, and I have friends who regularly attend the park with autistic family members with high support needs. These are the disabilities I have experience with, so while I've heard a bit about others (such as portable descriptive devices for visitors with visual impairments) I can't speak as much about those accommodations.

I have also traveled quite a bit, mostly as a disabled adult. I can work from anywhere and my family enjoys traveling, so I've been very lucky in this regard. I also used to live in central Florida, not too far from Disney, and benefited from their FL resident rates.

So I'm coming at this from a person who has a lot of experience traveling while disabled and a fair amount of experience going to WDW, though I haven't been nearly as often since I moved out of Florida.

(Good fucking riddance.)

So know that I am speaking from experience when I say I have never, without exception, been to a single place half as accessible as Walt Disney World. It is literally the reason my family would go there; it was one of the only places we could all safely go together. One of the only places I've been on earth that even approached their level of thoughtful accommodations is Barcelona, which apparently did significant renovations throughout the city in order to prepare for the 1992 Paralympics.

(Hey, if anyone is reading this from Barcelona: I teared up the first time I used one of your curb cuts in my wheelchair, just so you know.)

Going through those parks in a wheelchair is a breeze, though you will probably have to fight a lot of clueless parents with strollers who are hellbent on using resources intended for wheelchair-users and then glaring at you when you try to use them yourself. Level ground, spacious sidewalks, accessible transportation, well-kept gradual ramps, roomy buildings, lots of accessible restrooms, alternate entrances at many rides for wheelchair users, special wheelchair rows in movie theaters that we're loaded into first, accessible queues in most rides designed or renovated in the last fifteen years, special viewing areas for shows/parades/fireworks so you don't end up staring at able-bodied butts for a half hour...

Like, structurally-speaking, the parks are very easy to get around in if you're a wheelchair user. That was built in and you can see a lot of very mindful design choices. As far as the rides go, most of their rides actually have special cars that you can load into while still in a wheelchair. They're pretty neat. I can transfer, but that means often leaving my wheelchair and/or cane with a cast member during the ride. They are always, without fail, waiting for me on the other side of the ride, no matter how far the exit is from the entrance. I have never once had a problem with this. A cast member will be there to put my assistive devices in my hand before I even have to think about getting up. Guaranteed.

Wheelchair users always used to be able to skip the line, but there was unfortunately a problem with able-bodied people pretending to be disabled to skip lines (because god forbid they not have access to a single thing we have to make our lives livable) so now there's a system where if you cannot wait in a line, they'll basically give you a special time to come back that's equivalent to the length of the line. Which feels fair to me as someone who often cannot be in even an accessible line for extended periods. (I have problems with sunlight, heat, and often need emergency food or restroom.)

More important than all this, though, is the fact that cast members are impeccably well-trained in all of this. Any disabled person can tell you that the most accessible design on earth isn't worth shit if the people working there aren't well-trained. (More on this later, when I take a giant shit on Universal Studios.) But Disney trains their employees, many of whom are disabled themselves, incredibly well.

Every employee will know where the accessible entrances are. Every employee will know the procedure for getting a return time. Every employee will know about first-aid centers, and every employee will know where the quiet areas are for people with sensory issues. Every time you make a reservation for a meal, hotel room, transportation, etc. they will ask for all accessibility needs and they'll be ready for you.

Every waiter you have will be incredibly careful and knowledgeable when it comes to special dietary needs, and chefs will often come out to discuss them with you. They often have specific menus for different dietary needs, and they are scrupulous when it comes to allergens. I have a few intolerances that suck and allergies that could kill me and I have always felt very safe in their hands. This ranges from fancy sit-down restaurants to quick service burger places.

And -- honestly, I have just always been treated with respect. I know that sounds like a low bar, but most people do fail to clear it. Disney has their employees very well-trained on how to interact with disabled guests. People speak directly to me, never to the able-bodied people over my head. They never treat me like I'm a child. They never ask invasive questions or make uncomfortable jokes. They never, ever get impatient with my accessibility needs.

The few times I have misjudged things and have injured myself or gotten extremely ill, they were professional and caring as they provided much-needed first-aid. It's kind of embarrassing to be doted on by a costumed character while you wait for a doctor to come help you sit up again, but also kind of endearing, I'll admit.

They also, in addition to captioning all videos in the park, have some of the best sign language interpreters in the world, bar none. They're very personal and professional, they're easy to reserve, they will always be in a visible place during shows, and they're incredible performers as well as being very technically proficient. In addition to the professional interpreters, many cast members, performers, and characters can sign as well.

In addition to that, and this brings me to my next point, you'll meet a lot of disabled employees throughout the park. In front-facing positions. Deaf employees, employees using mobility aids, etc. They're well-known to hire disabled people and treat them well. This is. Fuck, this is incredibly rare, I say as someone who was never able to find a job in Florida with my health conditions. It's the moral thing to do to hire disabled people, but also -- selfishly, there's something so heartening and normalizing about seeing people who look like you working at the park. I'm happy every single time.

I have a little less personal experience when it comes to accessibility for neurodivergence, despite being neurodivergent myself, but I've been told that Disney is very, very accommodating for people on the spectrum. A lot is done to lessen crowding, waiting, sensory overload, etc. for autistic guests. Cast members are usually super good at this; finding designated quiet areas, helping autistic guests avoid more crowded areas, keeping them out of long lines, making sure they have access to any particular experiences that are special to them, etc.

For folks who need help from their group, whether that's an autistic child who needs to be with a parent or a disabled adult who needs someone to push their wheelchair or anything else, Disney has a rider switch-off model. In other words, if you're there with both of your able-bodied parents, for example, and you need one of them to be with you at all times and you don't want to be on the ride yourself, Disney will allow one person to go on the ride while the other waits for them to finish, then will allow the second person to go on without any additional wait. This makes sure that everyone in the family gets equal access without leaving disabled people alone. (Which... can be a very shitty feeling, I assure you.)

I know that Disney has also pioneered a lot of assistive technology. The accessible rides, obviously, which can be ridiculously cool (like Toy Story Midway Mania has an accessible car with alternative "guns" for people with dexterity limitations so they can play the carnival games as well) but also handheld assistive devices for visually impaired guests, etc. Like they are literally inventing new forms of accessibility technology, which is so cool.

And honestly, I'm always learning about new ways they assist disabled guests. I've stayed in Disney's accessible hotel rooms before (they're very nice!) but I don't like to swim so I've never been in the pools. But even just this week, someone told me that Disney has pool lifts for disabled guests, which I had never even considered. That's so cool.

The best part about accessibility at Disney is that in some ways it's very casual. A lot of their design decisions are so intuitive that you never even notice how accessible the parks are until you go somewhere where that's... not the case.

Like -- just so you don't assume that any of these things are industry standard, let me tell you about the two times I went to Universal, a park very close to Disney. I went there once for an event and once with my family.

The first time I went was for an event at the opening of the Harry Potter park. (This was before JKR made her most appalling views public, to be clear.) It... was frustrating. Guests asked if there would be food and drink available for people with special dietary restrictions (such as sugar-free butterbeer) and were pretty much told that no, that was not something they were interested in pursuing. It became very obvious very quickly that the park itself was so narrow that it only barely fulfilled ADA standards -- when empty. We were told that JKR had actually specifically insisted that it feel "cramped". Which is a nice way to say that I couldn't actually get around in any of the stores while people were in them.

It was overall a frustrating experience, but it was like. One night. I figured it was probably a fluke and they were still ironing out all the details. So I ended up going back with my parents later.

Y'all, it was a shit show.

Broken elevators that prevented disabled guests from accessing rides. Performers being up on raised platforms/sidewalks so disabled guests couldn't get to them. Sidewalks being made inaccessible by putting movable signs directly in the middle of them. Stores (even outside of the HP part) that were so damn narrow that I actually ended up getting hurt trying to navigate one of them. And no -- it was not easy to get first aid.

And my god, was the training bad. We went to one of the new HP rides, asked if there was a specific entrance for disabled guests. We were told no. We waited for a very long time in a line that honestly I shouldn't have been waiting in, but I wanted to be a good sport. I was pretty sick by the time we got through it, and the line itself had some very dangerous inclines/turns for wheelchair users. We get to the front of the line -- and the employee asks why we didn't just use the accessible entrance. 🙃

(Side note: several of their rides are also just unrideable if you don't fit within a pretty narrow body type of thin and able-bodied, so... there's that.)

We'd asked repeatedly and gotten incorrect answers, and I'd been put in physical danger as a result. Wild. I started to notice that if you asked different employees, you'd get different answers about almost anything, really. Just exceptionally poor training. Even stuff that should've been a no-brainer, like loading wheelchair users into a stationary movie theater, ended up creating chaos when they did it incorrectly and we had a giant wheelchair pileup.

Like -- let me stress to you that many of the things that happened could have caused actual injury to people. Some of these situations were dangerous. And some of them were just alienating, like when I'd have to wait outside a store while my family could go in.

I never went back after that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We just kept going to Disney.

One thing that'll probably show how good Disney is at accessibility is the whole Make-A-Wish thing. A lot of people know that it's a popular Make-A-Wish request, and you're likely to see at least a couple kids with Make-A-Wish buttons during your visit if you keep an eye out. One reason for this, is that, y'know, Disney World is fun. Kids want to go there. But more important, I think, is that Disney can accommodate people with at-times severe medical needs. Those kids can safely go anywhere and do anything in those parks that able-bodied kids can, and that's important.

All in all, the parks are just so accessible and you will never, ever be made to feel like you're lesser for needing those accommodations. You will be treated so well and you will not have to worry about accessibility because the cast members are always doing it for you. They'll usher you into the correct entrance as soon as they see a mobility device, and they'll do it with a very warm welcome. It's one of the very few places on earth where I have never felt like a burden.

Again, y'know, I know that Disney does not have a perfect track record on a lot of issues. I would never defend them from rightfully earned criticism. I strongly support labor action against them, and I do think they should be criticized whenever they fuck up. I have been uncomfortable with the sheer amount of power they have both in Florida and in the entertainment world just because no one should have that much power. But I am far more uncomfortable with that power being stripped away for blatantly discriminatory political reasons.

I do have some loyalty to Disney just because there is no other place on earth where I've been able to safely have fun with my friends with so little agony. That's... I mean, it's important, really. To be able to just exist in public without getting grief for it. And I have some loyalty to them because they were a safe space for me as a young, queer kid who was not safe being out in other areas of my life.

(Like, I am talking about actual literal safety. I kept seeing notes on my post saying that Disney didn't care about creating a "safe space for queer people" but as someone who lived in Florida for the entirety of my teenage years? It was the safest goddamn place there.)

I do not have enough loyalty to defend them when they do immoral bullshit, but I do have enough to make sure that people know the good that they do as well.

I want other businesses to follow Disney's model for disability. I will praise them forever for what they've done in that regard because if I don't, there's no reason for other companies to follow suit. I want to praise them for the good things they've done so they have incentive to keep doing it, and other companies have an incentive to do it as well.

Like bro, I just wanna be able to move around and be treated with some dignity, y'know? My bar is so low. lmao

But yeah. That's why you always see so many disabled guests at Disney. It's literally the only place some of us can go to have fun.

[joelsgreys]

lost on you l a safe gaven drabble

series masterlist

summary: You’re missing Joel and a certain mare seems to be picking up on your sadness—or at least that’s what you think is happening when there’s a sudden change in her behavior. Why else would Stella be acting so strange around you?

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. angst, horses, and a lil more angst. reader’s pregnancy is lightly being implied, but it has not been explicitly stated yet, only hinted at. no Joel, he is only mentioned in this one. Dina makes an appearance, i threw in some comedic moments to try and balance out the angst. ends with a horsey hug.

word count: 1.9k

a/n: so this is meant to be as a bit of a filler fic before chapter 9 is posted and shit hits the fan. i knew i wanted to do a short drabble that touches on how reader is doing after the confrontation she had with Joel. i also asked people to send in short prompts for the series to do some no pressure writing exercises, and this particular prompt that was sent in was just incredible and i decided to incorporate it. It makes me nervous to post a fic with no Joel in it, but my heart wanted to write it so fuck it, I just wrote it. chapter 9 is almost done and will be posted soon. @eyesneverbeensoblue i hope it’s okay to tag you in this and tell you thank you so much for the idea!

Lately, I’m getting lost on you

I tore your world apart like it was nothing new

every day I’m a slave to the heartache…

Summer slowly, but surely comes to an end.

The days are long, but the nights without Joel?

They’re even longer, at least, that’s how it feels.

You miss him. Oh God, how you fucking miss Joel Miller.

He’s all you can ever think about.

Every second of every minute of every single day.

You miss Joel so much that it physically hurts. Every part of you just aches for him. Aches. 

Your insides feel like they’re on fire, and you can't put it out.

The heartache is agonizing, almost unbearable—it’s unlike anything you have ever felt before.

In front of others, you hold it together pretty well. But when you’re alone, behind closed doors? 

That’s when you fall apart. Crumble into pieces.

Losing Joel is something you will never heal from. Never.

Traces of himself he’d left behind—would you ever be able to wipe yourself clean of them? Of him? Or would you have to spend the rest of your damn life trying to get over the man who fucking adored the hell out of you and who loved you so unconditionally?

“He misses you, you know,” Ellie says, quietly. She stands beside you and diligently runs a hard, bristled hand brush along Jasper’s side to clear his golden coat of dirt and debris. The palomino is just one of several horses that needed tending to after that morning’s patrol shift. Realizing you’re too busy jotting down notes in Jasper’s handwritten file you keep for him—you kept a file for every single horse in the commune—Ellie clears her throat and then speaks again, louder this time. “He misses you.”

You wince and stop mid scribble.

“Ellie—” you trail off, your throat going dry.

Even though you’d asked her about a hundred and one times not to talk about Joel, Ellie was hellbent on bringing him up to you as often as she could. At first, it seemed innocent enough. She stuck to just letting you know how his recovery was going.

“His shoulder’s healing really well.” 

“Donna came over to help with physical therapy.” 

“He’ll be back on patrol in a couple of weeks.” 

So you’d given her a pass. Besides, you would be a liar if you said you didn’t want to know how he was healing after his injury.

However, Ellie then began to wander into more sensitive and dangerous territory.

“He asked me about you.” 

“He was drinking again last night.” 

“He looks so fucking miserable.” 

You know why she’s doing it.

It’s not to make you feel guilty for hurting Joel.

Hell, she knows that you’re hurting just as badly. She loves you and she loves Joel—the two people Ellie cares about more than anything are suffering without each other.

You hate that she’s essentially been pulled right into the middle of this mess that you’ve created.

Ellie is collateral damage. This is all hurting her too.

“He misses you a lot,” she adds after a minute.

You exhale sharply. Her words feel like a punch to the gut and they knock the wind out of your lungs.

Finally, you look up from your clipboard, turning to her. “Ellie,” you say her name warningly. “Stop it. We’re not going to do this today. Okay?”

“I’m just saying,” she mumbles, placing a hand on Jasper’s side. “If someone was missing me, I think I would want to fucking know.”

You feel the lump steadily rising in your throat.

“Ellie, please don’t—”

“I’m here, I’m here, I’m here!”

The sound of Dina’s voice fills the horse stables.

The teenager whips herself into Jasper’s stall, skidding to a stop in front of you, sweaty and breathless, as if she had just run across the settlement.

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” She apologizes, setting her bag down on the ground. Pulling a scrunchie from the back pocket of her jeans, she throws her long, black hair into a messy bun as she explains herself. “Talia asked me to help her out in the library this morning and I totally lost track of time. And then on the way over here, I bumped into Mrs. Miller as she was walking home from the market and I mean, I could not just let a pregnant lady carry all those heavy bags across town—”

“Dina, breathe, sweetheart.” You hold up a hand to stop her. “It’s okay. As long as you show up, that’s all I care about. Especially since Tommy and Maria moved Logan to patrol duty. That’s another stable hand gone, so I need all the help I can possibly get around here.” Slipping your clipboard under your arm, you glance from Dina to Ellie. The emotions from what had happened just seconds before your niece had run in are bubbling, threatening to boil over. “Listen, I have to go do a routine examination on Stella. Finish up with grooming Jasper. I have a couple of horses that are due for baths—Luna and Bandit. Then it’s feeding time. Got it?”

Dina smiles brightly. “We’ll take care of it, won’t we, El?”

Sensing your urgency to leave, Ellie gives a subtle, small nod of her head. “Yeah. We will.”

“Good. I’ll come check on you girls when I’m done with Stella.” Spinning around on the muck caked heel of your boot, you hastily leave Jasper’s stall and nearly fly all the way down the stables and into Stella’s.

You rush inside, closing the top and bottom half of the Dutch door before sagging back against the wood. You toss your clipboard aside on the floor of the stall and lift both your hands, covering your face as you choke back sobs of pure agony.

He misses you. 

As you will yourself to keep yourself from falling apart, you feel a warm muzzle dig lightly into your lower stomach. Dropping your hands from your face, you glance up only to see Stella peering at you with clear and unmistakable curiosity in her big brown eyes.

“Hi there, my gorgeous girl,” you murmur softly to the pregnant mare. A tear slips out from the corner of your eye and you quickly wipe it away with the back of your hand.

Stella lowers her head and sniffs at your stomach, right where she had dug into you. Her ears prick forward and she nuzzles the same spot again.

You shoot her a strange look. You’ve never seen her exhibit this type of behavior before.

“Stella, what are you doing?” you ask, almost as if you expect her to speak and give you an answer. “Why are you being so weird?”

Stella sniffs you again, then nips at the hem of your tank top.

“Hey! Cut that out.” You can’t help but let out a watery giggle as you carefully pull the fabric out of her mouth. Realizing the strange behavior must have something to do with the mare sensing the intensity of your negative emotions, you gently place both of your hands on either side of her muzzle. Inhaling a deep breath through your nose, you slowly exhale it through your mouth before touching your forehead to hers. “I’ll be okay, girl. I’ll be okay. There’s no other choice—I have to be okay.”

An hour later, you’d finished the examination.

Stella had continued to act oddly around you, her behavior becoming more and more peculiar as time went on. You were bonded to her of course—you were bonded to just about every single horse in the commune—and so it didn’t really surprise you that the mare was so in tune with your emotions and could feel that something was off. She was extremely attentive to you as you worked, her eyes never leaving you, not even for a second.

Stella also continued to sniff you, nuzzling you in the stomach any chance she had. For as bizarre as it was, it brought you an off sense of comfort and it made you feel less alone.

“Hey auntie.” Dina opens the stall door, poking her head inside. “Can we come in?”

“Of course.”

She pushes the door open further and walks into the stall with Ellie on her heels. Both of them are almost completely soaked from head to toe. 

Your eyes widen. “Um, girls, I’m pretty sure I told you to bathe the horses—not yourselves.”

Ellie lets out a small scoff. “Ha ha. Very funny.”

“Bandit wasn’t having it,” Dina chuckles. “But he’s all clean, and so is Luna. We just came in to tell you we’re going to go dry off and change our clothes. We’ll be back for feeding time.” She glances at the mare. “How’s our sweet mama-to-be doing?”

“Good. She’s as healthy as a horse.”

The teenagers roll their eyes, but laugh.

“You’re so lame, auntie.”

“Just a little equine veterinarian humor. My dad used that one on me all the time.” You grin at the memory. “Stella’s doing really well. In about seven or eight months, we’ll have our new baby.”

“Well then, I think someone deserves a little treat since she’s doing so good.” Dina reaches into the bag she has slung over her shoulder and pulls out a crisp, red apple. She walks over, holding the fruit out in the palm of her hand for the horse. “Here you go, girl.”

Stella gives the apple a sniff, then takes it from her. 

Usually, she wolfs it down in just a few chomps—but what she does next surprises all three of you. Apple still between her teeth, the mare turns and pushes her muzzle into your stomach.

“Oh shit,” Ellie cackles. “No fucking way!”

“Oh my god,” Dina grins. “Is she—she’s giving it to you?”

Shocked, you lift a hand and delicately take the apple from between her teeth. “Stella, you silly girl! What are you doing?” You hold it out for her. “This apple is for you, sweetheart. Here, take it.”

She tosses her head in the air.

Dina snorts into her hand. “She just told you no!”

“She wants you to have it.” Ellie shoots you a teasing look. “Come on, princess. Take a bite.”

You look at her, then down at the apple, which is covered completely in Stella’s slobber.

“Um, no thanks. I think I’ll pass,” you mutter. 

“Auntie, don’t be rude,” Dina jokes. “It’s bad manners to refuse her offer.”

Rolling your eyes at your niece, you turn back to Stella and tell her, “I’ll eat it later. When it’s washed.”

“We’re starting to smell like wet horse,” Ellie makes a gagging noise as she takes a whiff of her shirt.

Dina lifts the collar of her blouse to her nose. “Oh, gross. We are starting to smell like wet horse.” She reaches out with her opposite hand, grabbing one of Ellie’s. She laces their fingers together. “Come on, let’s go change.”

You can’t help but notice the way Dina looks at Ellie—with the sweetest, most adoring little smile.

You raise an eyebrow, cocking your head slightly.

Ellie’s eyes meet yours and she blushes deeply.

If you ever had a chance to give Ellie Williams shit, this was it—but instead, you just give her a subtle wink from where you stand. Her face instantly goes from red to maroon.

“Be sure to be back in an hour for feeding time!” you call as Dina pulls her out of the stall. “I’m not feeding all these horses alone!”

“We will!”

Once the girls are gone, you turn to Stella and wrap your arms around her neck. “Thanks for trying to cheer me up today, pretty girl.”

She rests her head on your shoulder.

You feel more tears coming and hug her harder.

lyrics: Lost on You - Lewis Capaldi

[deathbxnny]

hello, gallagher aventurine and dr ratio with an asuka!reader?

(teen!reader who despite being a kid, acts grown up and wants to be seen as an adult)

As someone who absolutely LOVES Asuka (Although Rei is still my all-time favorite, and idk what that says about me lmao-) I absolutely adore this request, Anon!! So thank you so much for this ask, and I hope you'll like this!<33

Content: Platonic relationships, slight angst, older brother figures hsr men, teen reader, vague mentions of potential childhood trauma regarding reader, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not proofread))

》GALLAGHER

Gallagher found your rather bratty behavior quite amusing, which is why he simply played along at first. You often helped him out in the bar and it was kind of funny to see you trying to act like an adult, even going as far as ordering him around.

He knew that it was most likely all because of an underlying issue from your past, but he wasn't the type to confront you on it immideatly. Instead, he simply let you do your thing whilst making sure you were still having fun deep down.

He also makes sure to let you know that you can talk to him whenever you want to open up or just need some advice on things. He's patient and has all the time in the world for you. And even if you never open up to him, he'll make sure that your life is relatively easy anyway, so that you can still be a kid in peace.

》DR. RATIO

Both of you are awfully stubborn, and it shows whenever you two get into a daily argument over the most smallest things. He knows something is wrong with you deep down, but he also just doesn't have the patience needed whenever you tell him off again for daring to insinuate that you are indeed still just a child. And yet, as frustrated as he can get sometimes, he still tries his best to be the bigger person in the end. He is above arguing with a kid... but God do you make it hard sometimes to keep that up.

With that said, he tries to compromise with your need to feel like an adult by simply giving you much harder subject matters that are way above your grade level. And unsurprisingly to him ofcourse, this seemed to work and quell your angers.

You really just wanted to be respected as an equal to him, and so he let you work up to it, knowing you'd get there eventually.

》AVENTURINE

Similar to Gallagher, he finds your attitude rather amusing at first, although there was still some seriousness in him regarding your situation. You were hellbent on being seen as an adult, so much so that you'd talk back, get into fights and ignore all his orders just for a slither of recognition from him. You thought that all of this would make you into an adult, but alas, it just made you look more like the hurt child you were deep down.

After observing your behavior for a while, Aventurine eventually makes his move and calmly asks you why you want to be an adult so badly over a game of cards. He knew he'd be met with alot of attitude at first, but when he dug deeper, he finally figured out that you simply wanted to be taken seriously. He reassures you afterward that he never doubted your abilities, as he let's you win for the first time ever.

Alrighttttt!! I hope this was okay, Anon, and thank you again for your request!<33

[meatonfork]

If it's not too much to ask could you write something where someone from grim's past spills some of their secrets to the 141 to try to make them appear less trustworthy? Maybe grim did something they aren't proud of or they had some sort of connection to a past enemy of the 141. Just some angst before they work things out with the team.

Please keep up the incredible writing!! Whether you use this or not I'm still excited to see how you develop grim as a character <3

omg yes! this is so good! i appreciate you <3

————————————————————————————————————————

Past Secrets

pairings: platonic 141 x grim

warnings: death, blood, choking, usual cod violence, grim is extremely defensive and shuts down

summary: one of grim’s former squad members makes an appearance

————————————————————————————————————————

“did you know that grim killed a teammate while in action?”

you froze. blood running cold. 

your head snapped at a former teammate you had. she was staying here while she waited for her next deployment. your base was just a rest stop for her. they called her “buzz” because she never shut the fuck up. constantly buzzing her comms. 

“what?” soap’s eyes narrowed at you. shock and distaste  forming on his features.

“yep! shot him right in the head as we were walking into the room.” her voice was taunting. she was too eager to let this slip out, and you knew exactly why. she never liked you.

“that’s classified information. you can’t talk about that, buzz. so, shut the fuck up.” your voice was hard with anger. 

“what is she talking about, grim? are you going to fucking shoot us if we piss you off in the field?” soap knew you wouldn’t, but he was so shocked that you would turn against your team, what was to stop you now?

“what? no! why would i do that?” your voice shook with surprise. did they really  think you’d do that?

“then why did you do it then?” ghost cut in. his voice was gruff.

“guys, i swear, this is a misunderstanding. she was never even briefed after it happened.” you tried to hold your ground, but you started shaking with nerves. what if they didn’t want you on the team anymore if they found out? this was classified for a reason. 

“then, what the fuck happened.” price was demanding now. you couldn’t get out of it. not when your captain was on your ass about it.

you let out a shaky sigh, all eyes on you, “he was working for the enemy. we finally had the target in sights, and i let the rest of the team know. but, as i went to go detain him, my partner punched me. i asked him what the fuck he was doing, but he said something about working for the target. i was so confused. we fought for a bit, i was nearly unconscious when i finally got the upper hand. he was reaching for his gun, but i shot him before he could pull it. that’s when the team walked in.” you had small tears running down your face. you went into more detail about the mission, and how there was footage from the building. 

“that footage doesn’t prove shit, grim. there was no audio.” buzz cut in again. you were seeing red. why was she so hellbent on ruining your life? you lunged from the couch onto her chair. the chair fell back with you on top of her. 

she scratched and screamed as you laid punch after punch into her. your hands wrapped around her throat as you screamed in her face.

“shut the fuck up! you don’t know what you’re talking about. i trusted him! he was my fucking partner, and he tried to fucking kill me for the enemy. shut the fuck up!” your throat was raw and tears continued to stream freely down your face.

arms wrapped around your midsection and pulled you off of her. “kid, you need to stop. i’ll let you go if you stop.” price’s voice was loud in your ear. 

you stopped thrashing after a few more seconds, and he let you go. you fell on your butt and sat there, crying as your chest heaved. 

“buzz, go to the fucking infirmary and stay there.” his voice was sharp.

she scrambled up and quickly left. her face was bruised and bloody, purple wrapped around her neck from what you could see.

“kid, breathe.” gaz’s face was now in your vision. 

“do you want me gone? i can leave, it’s okay.” your voice broke. 

his face softened, “no, no. you’re okay. it’s okay. you did the right thing. we don’t blame you.”

his hand gently touched your knee and he helped you to your feet.

“go get some rest, grim.” price said once he entered your line of sight.

so, you did. you walked off to your room and stayed there for two days. 

————————————————————————————————————————

a/n: i really do not like how this turned out, but it’s okay. things happen! hope you enjoyed for what it’s worth <3

[cottonlemonade]

Hello, may I please get a ramune and soke dorayaki from menu B for tendou

Please, and thank you

🫱💴

Here, meney

How You Met

word count: 997 || avg. reading time: 4 mins.

pairing: Tendou x chubby!Reader (feat. Semi and Ushijima as wingmen)

genre: fluff, rivals to lovers

warnings: mentions of having a nosebleed?

request: fluffy, detention with rival Tendou, as manager

____________________________________________

Tendou loved riling people up. To him, volleyball was as much about psychological warfare as it was about physical abilities and he particularly enjoyed testing out a new person’s limits. So when the local university’s volleyball team announced that they brought their newly appointed manager, he was delighted to have a fresh study subject. Did he think you were cute? Absolutely. Being quite a bit shorter than him, as well as plump and squishy looking, he immediately focused his attention on you and tested how much teasing it would take to get you to snap at him. He was a simple boy that way. What he didn’t expect, however, was a bloody nose and being shoved into an empty classroom with you.

“You can’t just give me detention! He started it! And I don’t even go to this school!”, you called through the closed door but no one answered.

“Yeah, old Washijo has quite the trigger finger.”, Tendou shrugged, slumping on his chair and leaning his head back to stop the bleeding.

“You pack quite the punch, little plum.”

“Don’t call me that unless you want me to have another go at that nose.”, you grumbled, slumping down on a chair two desks away from him. He just laughed and sighed. It really hadn’t taken long for him to be completely in love.

“So, is that guy your boyfriend?”

“Huh?”

“That guy I talked about that made you sucker punch me.”

“That was hardly a sucker punch.”

Tendou tensed a little that you avoided the question but he kept poking further.

“Then… That big beefy guy with the babyface - you aren’t together?”

You looked at him, arms crossed.

“No. We’re friends. - And I’m protective of my friends.”

“Yeah I could tell.” He stretched his face and removed the whatted up piece of tissue from his nose, tipping back his chair on its hind legs.

It seemed you were quite hellbent on ignoring him until the 30 minute timeout was over. Meanwhile, the red haired boy studied you openly, finding more things he liked about you with every minute. Like the way you scrunched your nose in annoyance when you noticed him staring.

“What?”, you barked.

“Nothing. Ever considered dating someone younger than you? I’m perfectly legal, organic and grass-fed.”

“Organic and grass-fed…? Do you want me to eat you?”, you frowned confused.

“We can start with a normal date and see where the night takes us.”, he said with a wink.

After that you pretended he was air until the captain of the varsity team came to collect you.

“Uuuuugh!”, Tendou repeatedly bonked his head against the table at lunch the next day. His friends regarded him with questioning looks.

“Grass-fed! What was I thinking?”, he lamented with a muffled voice.

“Yeah, what were you thinking?”, Semi asked with a raised brow.

“I don’t know! My brain just… stopped working. I couldn’t control what I was saying.” The middle blocker turned his head to the side, looking up at his friends, cheek still smooshed against the table.

“So, you can’t flirt. You’ll get better and the next girl might not even punch you.”, Semi said encouragingly but Tendou pouted.

“But I don’t want another girl. I want this one.”, he sat up, eying Semi who just lifted a spoonful of soup to his mouth but stopped.

“What?”

“How do you get girls to go out with you, Semi-Semi? You dress horribly and it really can’t be your personality.”

Semi ignored the slight and just raised a hand to gesture at his face.

“Does it all for me.”

“Ugh.” Tendou dropped back onto the table.

“May I make a suggestion?”, Ushijima offered, setting down his water bottle.

“Sure.”

“Like with many things in life you could draw inspiration from nature. So I suggest, you do it like animals.”

Goshiki choked on a piece of tofu and Semi let out a scandalized, “Ushijima-san!”, patting the first-year next to him on his back.

Tendou straightened again and raised a hand, “Wait, let’s hear the man out. - Proceed.”

“A lot of animals bring gifts to their potential mates such as rocks or even food as courtship. You don’t have to bring her rocks unless she finds them fascinating but food seems like a reasonable start.”

“See, it was nothing weird. Dirty mind, you!”, Tendou teased and Semi put a hand to his chin in thought.

“As crazy as he sounds, that is actually a good idea.”, the setter agreed.

One week later when the varsity team came for another training match, Tendou waited for you by the entrance of the gym, rolling back and forth on his heels in nervousness.

You scowled when you saw him.

“Can I talk to you for a moment, y/n-chan?”

“I don’t remember ever offering you to drop formalities.”

“Alright, little plum-san. Do you have a minute?”

You sighed and nodded to the captain who led the team into the gym, leaving you behind.

After taking a deep breath he brought his hands out in front of him and presented you with a box of chocolates.

“They’re not poisoned.”, he said.

“Well that’s reassuring.”, you carefully took the box into your hand and opened the lid.

They looked a bit crooked like they had been a factory mishap.

“I made them.”, Tendou added and your eyes widened. Okay, so far so good. He just had to stick to the script he and his friends came up with.

“I’m sorry for last week. I’ll make sure not to annoy your players verbally anymore. Or insinuate that one of them looks like a third grader in the body of an accountant. But… I really did mean it when I asked you out. I think you’re really pretty and”, he chuckled and brushed the tip of his nose, “really strong.”

You considered him for a moment, then looked down at the chocolates again. It must have taken him hours to make those.

“Fine. One coffee.”

____________________________________________

a/n: the way you wrote your request made me laugh xD thank you so much! I hope you liked it - this one got a bit wild 🫠

[drdemonprince]

in regards to the concept of abled people not existing/abled folks being expected to do more in relationships with disabled folks... You make some good points about us all being disabled in different ways and not recognizing it, but I still feel that there's quite a vsst gap materially between say, an ADHDer who can lift and push 50lbs easily/without pain and one who can't. And i have run into big roadblocks in relationships with other lefty types as the person who can't! And I think that expectation should be talked about and accepted more because I know a lot of "leftists" who would never think to apply this to stuff like doing the dishes because they're hellbent on everyone doing Equal Amounts. It's all fun and IG graphics about disability justice until they decide that youre Nonbinary roomate named sock who doesnt do the dishes etc etc , then see yourselves to the door!

You're absolutely right that there are differences in what various disabled people can do and the privileges that affords. It's glaringly obvious as a problem in Autism spaces, where people who can mask and speak like me are listened to and trusted and frequently talk over people who are nonverbal and cannot mask.

Even there, though, there are massive problems in attempting to rank-order someone's level of ability rather than just speaking specifically about these things in terms of privileges and oppressions. People assume I'm capable of all kinds of things I am not capable of, for instance, or hold me to ableist standards of productivity and ability because I "seem more capable. And Autistic people whose disabilities are more obvious have the opposite problem -- they are denied agency, presumed to be incompetent, not permitted to take on challenges they could find stimulating and worthwhile, and are dehumanized, etc.

And so where I'm getting with this is that we can't determine from the outside what a person is capable of doing, or what they should be capable of doing. It's not that far of a logical path to go from saying "Oh, this ADHDer is not physically disabled, they can lift 50 pounds, they can do a lot of things that I can't do" to saying "This ADHDer didn't unpack all our luggage for two weeks after our trip, they are lazy and not pulling their weight."

Someone might have the literal physical ability to do something in terms of strength or mobility, but not have the ability to complete a task because of the disabilities they do have (ADHD, in this case), and even if we are disabled ourselves we may be primed to see those people as lazy, uncaring, not pulling their weight, and all kinds of ableist interpretations.

So broadly I get your point, it is undoubtedly true some of us have abilities that others don't. but I think there's no way to put this idea into practice beyond just trusting people when they say they cannot do a thing, and not passing harsh judgement against people we think ought to be able to do a thing but don't (and maybe can't). This goes back to the original point of the discussion -- wondering why so many other people seem to fail disabled people and not show up for them.

To your second point, about a lot of even leftist people bringing therapy and instagram infographic "boundary setting" advice to their relationships and expecting all chores to be divided up equally, yeah that's a big problem and it's been a big problem in interpersonal relationships for many decades at this point. Most people overestimate the portion of the chores that they do, underestimate the work their partners or housemates do, and aspire to "equity" in a way that drives them absolutely crazy with score-keeping and resentment. There's a lot of research on how that outlook absolutely poisons heterosexual relationships and has done so pretty much ever since women started getting the ability to say no to a chore. It's a big problem of individualism under capitalism at its root, I think.

And the social change needed is much the same thing -- people need to learn to actually trust their loved ones when they say they cannot do the dishes, cannot clean the gutters, can't drop off the rent check, etc. I think a disability justice politics of raising everyone's class consciousness regarding their own disabilities and others is the way to go, and a massive strengthening of community ties.

[sailor-aviator]

Hey.

Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.

So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.

I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.

Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.

I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.

Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.

The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.

How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.

Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.

Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.

Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.

To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.

Nothing but love,

Liz 💛

[miyuhpapayuh]

21

As soon as Leon walked through the door of Brandon's apartment, nostalgia hit him like a Mack truck.

The air still felt familiar. Every memory of their friendship within these walls came flooding back to him.

“You turned this into a bachelor pad, huh?” Leon cracks.

Brandon laughs. “Ah, had to upgrade the futon and card table at some point, right?”

Leon joined in the laughter, shaking his head. “We lived a lil rough, I won't lie.”

“We made do, though.”

“Please, our mamas woulda killed us if we didn't.”

“You right about that.” Brandon nods, as they move into the living room and take a seat.

The first conversation they've had in five years.

“So, what's up?” Leon asks.

“I wanna start by apologizing to you. I know I was a hothead and I blew you off, a lot. I said some fucked up shit to you and I can't take it back. It took me a long time to realize that you were just looking out for me, cause I just wanted to have fun with my dawg. I wasn't thinking about later in life or the consequences that would come. You were like a brother to me and it's been hell out here without friends like you in my corner.”

Leon nods, knowing it took a lot for them to get to this point, and he knew it was a genuine apology.

“It's all good, man. I said some fucked up shit to you too. I was mad for a while. A long time. Cause we was into it over crazy shit. Petty shit. Yeah, you blew me off a whole lot and I used to take up for yo ass at every stop, cause you was my boy. But I couldn't stick around for the disrespect. But, we can't go through the rest of our lives holdin’ onto that shit.”

“I understand that. I understood it then, it just pissed me off cause fuck you mean we ain't cool no more?” He laughs, Leon joining in. “I'm just glad that I could get you here and sincerely say that. I didn't know what to say for a long time. Sorry just didn't seem good enough. I'm sorry for that, too.”

“It's all good, seriously. I'm sorry, too.” Leon says.

“For what?” Brandon’s brows scrunch.

“I harbored some hatred for you when you and my sister started… whatever y'all got goin’ on. Did the usual overbearing brother thing, but she was hellbent on you becoming a stand-up dude, and I can see that she wasn't lying. It was just so weird to me.”

“I get it, honestly. I mean, that's your little sister. I would never disrespect either of you, things just sorta happened. We knew how it looked and I knew that you and I needed to talk.”

“Well again, I appreciate that man. And just as long as I ain't gotta knock your head between the stove and refrigerator, I'm cool with you and Eryn doing what y'all doing.”

“I know that came straight from the heart.” Brandon nods before laughing.

“I'm glad you know,” Leon says, laughing as well.

“Now that all of that is out the way, what's new with you? Cause I did hear about a girlfriend.”

“Man, ima marry that woman.” Leon shakes his head, a smirk appearing on his lips.

“Word??” Brandon asks, cocking his head to the side.

“No doubt about it.”

“Damn, what's that like?”

And boy, did Leon spend the next almost hour filling his old friend in on everything he'd experienced with Zora thus far.

“Am I invited to the wedding, at least?”

“Come on man, of course!”

They slapped hands and hugged like the brothers they've always been.

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Returning back to his apartment, Leon was immediately greeted by his yawning girlfriend, as she decided to stay up and wait for him.

“Hey baby,” he says, placing a kiss on her forehead as she wraps her arms around him, swaying in their hug as usual.

“Hey, how'd everything go?”

“It went well, actually. We both apologized to each other, caught up like old friends and he's invited to our wedding now, whenever that is.” He snorts, making her join in with her own laughter.

“I'm glad y'all made up, that puts me at so much ease, cause now you're at ease.” She says, rubbing his back.

He smiles, kissing her nose. “Me too, baby. Is that why you're still up?”

“Yeah, I thought something happened. I contemplated on calling you, but then I heard the door unlock.” She smiles.

“You still sleepy?” He asks.

“Eh, not so much anymore. We can still jump back in the bed though. I'm freezing.”

“I'll say,” he steps back to look over her attire, which consists of one of his sweatshirts pulled over her nightgown and fuzzy socks.

“What?” She laughs, playfully smacking his cheek as he shakes his head, his eyes landing back on her face.

“You look beautiful.” He says before scooping her up in his arms and carrying her back into his room.

Back under the covers and in each others arms, the couple flip through the channels to find something to watch.

“Martin?”

“Nah. Half & Half is on tv??” Zora squints, making Leon snicker.

“Did you forget your contacts again?”

“No, I just didn't wanna put them back in yet cause I might fall asleep again soon. I brought my glasses, I just need to get them out of my bag.”

Without another word, he hands her the remote and slides out the bed to retrieve them for her.

“Thank you,” she giggles, putting them on.

“No problem, is that what you wanted to watch?”

“Mmm… nah, let's see what else is on. It's just interesting that it's accessible like that. It's hard finding what you used to watch all the time.”

“Yeah, you right. I remember how hype I was when they brought Jamie back into the rotation.”

“See, he's better than Martin!”

“Yeah, I have to agree.”

“He was way too sexual for me, personally.”

“Yeah, what you be saying? Men are gross? I agree.”

“Good. Plus, you're not a man, you're an angel.” She kisses his face, making him laugh.

“And you're not a woman, you're a goddess.” He pulls her closer to him, continuing to flip through the channels.

“Ooh, my girls!” She all but yells as Living Single pops up.

“There we go.” He chuckles, sitting the remote down.

“Oh, it's one of my favorite ones too!”

“This the one where they were in a singing group?”

“The flavorettes, yes!”

“O had that nasty ass piece on his head, man.” He snickers.

“That was so ugly, I agree. It was so cute how he was still smitten by Synclaire and she was being so mean!” Zora laughs.

“We like that shit.”

“We know,” she responds, still laughing.

After watching Max fall of the stage and get hit with roses, she dozed off again, this time more comfortably since Leon was back underneath her.

“I love you.” He whispers, kissing her forehead.

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

“I don't wanna work here anymore.” Zora mumbles to herself as she leans on the bar.

“Then quit!”

“Not that simple,” she sighs, tapping her nails against the freshly disinfected countertop.

As if on cue, the restaurant phone rings.

“Thank you for calling the pub, what can I get you?”

“Yeah, let me get the Wednesday special and a side of Zora Jean!” Nique says before cracking up into the phone.

“Girl!” Zora laughs, covering her mouth and looking around her area.

“What do you want, man?”

“What time do you get off?”

“Six, why?”

“You'll see when we get there. I'll meet you at your place.”

“Do I need to dress up or something?”

“Nope. No more questions! See ya later, love you, bye!”

After work, freshly showered and dressed down in her comfy sweatsuit and uggs, she trudges towards her best friend's car as the wind picks up.

“Hey, lover!” Nique greets once Zora’s situated inside.

“Hey! Where’re we going?”

“You'll see,” she sings, before pulling out of the lot and to their destination.

“So, how was your day?”

“Tiring. I think I'm kinda ready to let it go, friend.” Zora sighs, sticking her finger in the middle of her curly bun to scratch.

“Really?” Nique smirks. “Why what happened?”

“Nothing happened,” she laughs. “I'm just kinda over being there. And I know, we talk about it all the time and I continue to stick it out and I've made it work for me, so it's been extra great.. but I'm not feeling it anymore. The money isn't even worth it.”

“It's okay to feel burnt out. That's why I've always been pro-fuck that job. And no, I'm not gonna insist that you come work with me, I know we're past that. But this could be a good thing for you. You wanna find a new job?”

“No, I need a revamp on my career, as a whole. I wanna… I wanna be the artist of my dreams, again.” She somberly smiles, looking toward the window as her emotions slowly take hold of her.

Nique looks in her direction for a split second, unable to hide her smile.

“I was hoping you'd say that.”

Looking back in her direction, Zora begins to ask what she meant, but then she begins to recognize her surroundings.

“Dominique.”

“Zora-Jean.”

“The Mint?”

“The one and only, babe.” She cheeses, just as Zora covers her face, unable to hold her tears in any longer.

“Oh my god,” she sobs.

“Oh, Jean. Don't cry on me!”

Coming to a red light, she consoles her best friend, rubbing her back with her free hand.

“It's okay, I've been feeling like crying for weeks now. You know how I hold shit in— but, seriously this is so surreal. You just know what I'm thinking and how to execute it every single time. Who are you!” She hysterically asks, making them both laugh as the light turns back green.

“The greatest friend in the world— at least that's what my badge says.” She shrugs.

“Jesus,” Zora playfully scoffs, wiping her wet face.

“Seriously, though. Thank you.”

“Come on, you know you deserve this. It's been in the works for almost six years!”

“Ugh, that's so depressing. Isn't it?”

“Nah. It would be depressing if you still wanted to come home covered in grease after six years. You've had your epiphany and now it's time to plan!”

“You said it! I'm ready.”

“That's all I need to hear!”

Moving inside the spacious museum, the two look around and begin formulating their ideas.

“Wow, I haven't been out here in so long.” Zora looks around in awe.

“Yeah, they rightfully changed some shit around! It was starting to get stale in here.”

“Hm, what pieces could I put in here?”

“All of them?” Nique looks at her like she'd just grown a second head.

“Stop looking at me like that! I'm just asking. I also need to create so much more.”

“Mmhm, get that portfolio together and fast. You know we gotta start making ourselves real familiar with these people. “

“Yes, mom. I'm on it.” 

It feels good to be back.

@ghostfacekill-monger @sheabuttahwrites @honestpreference @thegifstories @harmshake @henneseyhoe @headcannonxgalore @blackpinup22 @motheroffae @mauvecherie-writes @blackerthings @megamindsecretlair @abeautifulmindexposed @blowmymbackout

[general-cyno]

I finally got to thriller bark and of course I'm having many feelings about it, so long ramble ahead. what makes this kind of sacrifice have so much impact narrative-wise is precisely bc of which character does it and imo there was no better choice than zoro.

while his life was certainly in danger, zoro still joined luffy's crew in way less dire circumstances than most of the other straw hats and he's someone that luffy actively sought out to embark his journey with. zoro's dream of becoming of the world's greatest swordsman is one that matches luffy's own of becoming king of the pirates. this doesn't lessen the importance of the crew's dreams, but imo it's clear that there's a reason why zoro's the first to join. why luffy trusts him to take care of everyone and lead them when he's otherwise busy fighting the biggest bads, incapacitated or just not present for whatever reason and why zoro does exactly that. why, for example, he trusted zoro's judgment abt usopp coming back even though luffy was initially ready to accept him without even an apology needed.

another thing to note, which I don't think is a coincidence either, is that zoro's either been mistaken for the captain or has left ppl wondering why he isn't more than a few times already, throughout the manga. zoro's strong, a very independent guy, who already had quite the reputation before he decided to be part of luffy's crew. ppl still call him the pirate hunter. he's got a dream he's hellbent on achieving, and it's not only his, but also kuina's. he's not afraid of dying for it but it's not like he wants to, yknow? and he's never one to go down without a fight. zoro also admits during the davy back ordeal that there's no point to him being a pirate if he's not part of luffy's crew. all of these things make thriller bark so special.

this?

is zoro renouncing to his dream, his promise to kuina, to his own life - not in battle, and certainly not as a way to achieve the very dream he's forfeiting - and he's doing it to keep luffy safe. bc zoro's absolutely certain that luffy WILL become the pirate king and if zoro has to cast all that aside to make sure of it, he will. this is zoro taking all of luffy's pain as his own while protecting luffy's life and dream, putting them even above his. which, to an extent, also guarantees (from his pov, at least) the rest of the crew's safety. that's huge, so much that even kuma questions his decision.

and yeah he's protecting the crew, but it's very obvious that he's doing this for luffy. kuma points it out, as shown above, and he had already voiced out his intention to leave with luffy's head only, specifically. it's luffy's pain that zoro's willing to take on and die for.

also perhaps you'd think this seems a bit one-sided no? but if you ask me, zoro choosing to pretend nothing happened is proof that it isn't. sure, it's not like zoro's the type of character who'd boast or openly talk abt this kind of sacrifice, but this is what he said to luffy when he agreed to join him:

luffy adores his crew. he's willing to die for them, protecting and saving them always, and he takes their dreams very seriously. zoro has witnessed this from the very beginning, and also took it upon himself to remind luffy of how much they all relied on him back when usopp left the crew, so that luffy wouldn't doubt himself. imagine how luffy would've reacted or even felt knowing that zoro had done this. for him.

in hindsight, this panel from the beginning of the arc is a bit of a tragedy honestly. (still cute though!)

[queen-haq]

Fic: Grudgingly Yours (Part 3)

Fic: Grudgingly Yours (Part 3)

Summary: You are a general surgeon, working in a hospital that’s slowly sucking the life out of you when one day you’re given the offer of a lifetime.

A.K.A  - An arranged marriage fic :)

Pairing: Billy Russo x You

Rating: R

Masterlist (contains links to my other stories and this one)

Part 3

You removed your glasses and started massaging the knot in your temple that seemed to have lodged inside your head permanently. Exhaling a heavy sigh, you laid your head down on the table. It wouldn’t be easy, you always knew that, but a part of you hadn’t realized how much work would be needed to actually build a clinic in the neighbourhood you grew up in. And this assessment was only the first step! After you completed this, that’s when the real work would begin.

Your phone vibrated and you reached out to grab it. It was the alarm you set to start getting ready for the dinner tonight. Fuck. Alistair was hosting a dinner for you and Billy, but you knew it was an excuse to check up on the two of you. You were already dreading it, imagining how stifling it would be. The last time you had met his family was at the wedding, and they had all looked at you like you were something to be afraid of. To them, you were the other – not rich, not white, not thin, and definitely not someone who was a part of the elite and affluent community they were a part of. And you would never be any of those things, so there was no point in trying to adjust your personality to fit in. Which was why you decided to go with a red jumpsuit to this dinner.

An hour later you were applying finishes touches to your makeup when you heard Billy’s voice in the kitchen. He was talking to Anita, the woman who came to clean the apartment every day. You went to the door, eavesdropping on their conversation.

“Gwen’s not gonna be around anymore, Anita,” he explained.

His voice was gentle, lacking the heavy condescension that was usually directed at you.

“Good, I don’t like her.” The elder lady retorted. “She was very rude!”

He chuckled.

“And it’s not right, you still bringing your girlfriends here when you’re married now. What about your wife?”

“Who gives a fuck?”

Ah, there it was. The biting edge in his tone whenever you were mentioned. You headed out of your bedroom and towards the kitchen.

“She’s a nice lady!” Anita chastised.

“She’s a goddamn bitch.”

“Talking about me again, sweetie?” You sauntered into the kitchen, wearing an amused smile.  

Anita immediately looked embarrassed at being caught but not Billy. Dressed in a perfectly tailored light grey suit, the colour making his pitch black eyes appear even more prominent, he stared back at you with a smug expression. “Speak of the devil and she doth appear.”

“Hush now, Billy,” Anita admonished him.

“First a bitch, now the devil. What’s next?”

“I’ve got some real sweet ones lined up. Just you wait.” He quirked up his eyebrow, eyes regarding your outfit carefully. “It’s black and white dress code.”

You shrugged. “It’s dinner with your family, not the fucking President.”

Billy shook his head. “So hellbent on being a total fucking embarrassment.”

“Billy, stop!” Anita turned to you, her cheeks a deep shade of crimson. “I’m so sorry-”

“It’s fine, Anita. Not your fault. This is just how he likes to sweet-talk me.”

He snickered. “In your fucking dreams.”

“You look beautiful, Y/N,” Anita said, giving you a warm smile. “Red really suits you.”

“Thank you.” While you walked over to the fridge to grab water, you sensed Billy watching you. When you turned around, his gaze shifted from you right away. If he didn’t make his dislike of you so obvious, you would have wondered if he was checking you out. Maybe he was one of those assholes that put down thick women but had a secret fetish for them. Not that you found the notion remotely flattering, it was insulting really.

“The old man doesn’t like being disobeyed,” Billy finally spoke.

You sneered. “You worried about me?”

“I don’t want your stupidity to blow back on me.”

“Don’t worry, I can handle assholes.” Your head dipped to the side, you gave him a beaming smile. “I married you, didn’t I?”

A gasp escaped Anita, she appeared to be scandalized by your words. Seeing the shock on the older woman’s face, you started laughing. As did Billy, much to your surprise. Your eyes scanned over his face, taking in his smile. Damn. He really was fucking gorgeous.

Such a shame that kind of hotness was wasted on a jerk like him.

Suddenly his gaze met yours, the smile on his face fading. He stared at you, stoic and intense, like he was trying to suck the life out of you through the sheer force of his eyes. You turned away, refusing to indulge in this kind of powerplay with him. “Anita, I’m having some people come over on Friday. Think we can stock up on some drinks?”

“Yes, of course,” Anita said, smiling.  “I can prepare some  menus if you like, give you a few options. I’ll hire some waitstaff-”

“God, no. Don’t bother. It’s nothing important.”

“But what about food? What will your guests eat?” Anita asked.

“I’ll order in some stuff.”

“Are you sure?”

The concern on Anita’s face made you chuckle. “Yeah. We’ll be fine.”

Your phone buzzed, and you glanced down at the text message notification.

“In town soon. Wanna meet?”

“See you later, Anita.”

You walked out of the kitchen, already texting back. “How long you around?”

Calvin was a friend you met in college, someone who you hooked up with occasionally. While the two of you always had fun, it was never serious and that’s how you both preferred it.

“Think you own this place?” Billy’s voice captured your attention away from the phone. He sauntered past you, his strut confident, hands tucked into his pockets, before he took a seat on the couch. Arrogance rolled off him in waves, he exuded rich privilege from head to toe as his onyx eyes regarded you with scorn.

“I live here,” you replied, eyebrow cocked.

“For now.”

You smirked. “Aw, you pissed I didn’t ask for your permission?”

“I don’t want your golddigging friends infesting this place.”

His cockiness made you laugh, and you felt that oh-so-familiar need to taunt him further. You sashayed forward, your sexiest walk on full display because you knew how much it would irritate him. Already you saw his jaw clench, noted how his eyes burned with contempt as you took a seat on the arm of the couch he was on. Leaning over him, you gave him your sexiest smirk. “You sure that’s all it is?” You lowered your head, so close you felt his breath hum against your skin. “Maybe what you’re really worried about is flexing for my friends. Maybe you know they’re not gonna be impressed by you.”

Billy’s pitch-black eyes remained glued to yours, inhaling you in. “A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinion of sheep.”

You reached out to grip his jaw, the action taking him by surprise if the arced eyebrow was any indication. God, he had a beautiful jawline, his facial hair perfectly trimmed, his skin smooth. “Is that what you think you are, Billy? A lion?” You tightened your grip. “Because all I see is a fucking snake when I look at you.”

It happened quickly, so quickly that you barely had time to register what he was doing when he clutched the back of your head. He fisted your hair so tightly that it almost hurt, pulling you close against him. You were crushed against his chest, whatever advantage you had now gone.

“Don’t. Ever. Touch me again.”

His voice was quiet, which made his words even more dangerous. He didn’t need to scream or yell to get his point across. Seeing his reaction, you instantly regretted your actions. Maybe he was someone who was triggered by physical contact, it was common enough in people and you had dealt with it a few times when caring for patients. You released your grip on him, but he didn’t follow suit, still holding you securely in place.

In your experience, people who didn’t like being touched were also careful to respect others’ boundaries. That didn’t seem to be the case with Billy, recalling the night of your wedding when he’d threatened you. “You put your hands on my throat and choked me,” you reminded him.

“But you liked that, golddigger. You were begging for it.”

God, his fucking cockiness was infuriating! You shoved him hard, forcing him to loosen his hold immediately and you jumped back to distance yourself. There you were trying to be nice, and he just completely stomped all over your compassionate gesture. “Asshole!”

He grinned, crossing his legs and looking so smug and pleased with himself you wanted to throw something at him.

Everything – everything – about him annoyed the fuck out of you. “Fuck off and die, Billy!”

He laughed, eyes shining with wicked delight.

“And stay out of my way on Friday! I don’t want my guests dealing with you!” you huffed before stomping out of the room.

The nerve of him! You were so pissed you could barely even think straight, but you needed to conserve your energy for tonight. Taking a deep breath, you returned to your room to finish getting ready.

***

The atmosphere was strained, the tension in the room palpable. Alistair sat at the head of the table, commanding everyone’s attention, while the rest of the family appeared downright miserable. One by one he’d gone around the table, picking apart each person under the guise of doling out helpful advice with everyone dreading the spotlight when it fell upon them. Alistair was very practiced with his criticism; he didn’t resort to yelling or screaming. Instead his words were laced with poison and deliberately targeted one’s most vulnerable spots. A part of you felt sorry for them, which was funny considering how rich they were and that you grew up in the ghetto. But at least you were brought up in a loving home, unlike these people.

You surveyed the room, taking in Billy’s family. Along with Alistair, his parents were present and some of Billy’s cousins. As an outsider, you had a chance to observe the family dynamic and it didn’t surprise you that the camaraderie they put on display was just a show. As you eavesdropped on their conversation, you could hear them talking shit and selling each other out. Underneath the polite exterior, they were all snakes – just like Alistair. The only exception, surprisingly, was Billy.

He kept to himself for most of the night, simply examining the family from the sidelines. Just like you. Occasionally your gaze would land on him and you found him staring back at you intently each time, but you weren’t in a mood to fuck with him. You were still annoyed from earlier, and it didn’t help that the family was obviously gossiping about you.

Both Billy and you had chosen to ignore the dress code, which probably seemed like it was intentionally planned but definitely wasn’t. His light grey suit stood out in the sea of black and white, just like your red jumpsuit, but his outfit didn’t elicit as many looks as yours did. But, whatever. You had purposely chosen this outfit. If you were going to be the subject of gossip anyway, you might as well give them something to talk about.

It was Alistair’s voice that brought you out of your reverie. Your stomach clenched with nervous anxiety as Alistair’s attention slowly approached your side of the table. Half of the family looked obliterated, the other half drunk. Billy was seated next to you, and a part of you wondered what was going through his head. Was he used to this? Did he even realize how fucked up his whole family was?

“It’s unfortunate you didn’t choose to meet Howard for lunch yesterday, Billy.”

You cast a quick glance at Billy. Unlike the rest of his family, he didn’t seem bothered or nervous by Alistair’s cutting tone.

“Is it?” Billy replied, taking a sip of his wine.

“He’s a very busy man and he agreed to meet you as a favour to me.”

“Maybe you should check before you make plans for me,” Billy responded.

Oh, Alistair didn’t like that.

“Do you know how humiliating it was for me to ask someone like Howard for his assistance? He’s a gnat, he’s nothing. Yet I had to reach out to him so he could guide you-”

“And how many times have I said I’m not interested in joining politics, Grandfather? I have no fucking interest in it, I don’t give a shit about it.”

Alistair slammed his hand down on the table. A silent hush fell over the room. “You will do as I say! I will not let you be another loser in this family. I will not accept that! You’re destined to be more than just some foot soldier. This family’s full of idiots, everyone has been a goddamn disappointment! But not you, you’re better than that. You’re my legacy and I will not let your stupidity and stubbornness get in the way of making something of yourself. You will not waste-”

“Are you fucking serious?” You asked, interrupting the old man’s tirade. “A foot soldier? He’s a marine! He’s gone out on three tours and risked his life over and over again to keep this country safe. He’s probably saved countless lives and done more for people than anyone around this table. What have you done? What have you accomplished other than being borne into a rich family?” Fired up, your blood was boiling with rage. “And you’re criticizing him for wasting his life? Why? Because he doesn’t want to be a slimy politician? Your fucking puppet?”

“How dare you speak to me like that?” Alistair roared.

“How dare you? You think I’m just gonna sit here and listen while you yell at my husband?” You scanned the people around the table, noticing their stunned gazes, the fear and shock in their eyes as they glared at you. “Maybe everyone here is scared shitless of you because you hold the purse strings but that doesn’t give you the right to dictate others’ lives. Billy’s an adult. He’s made his own choices, good choices. Just because you don’t agree with them doesn’t make them bad decisions.” You glanced down, shaking your head with irritation. It was then you noticed Billy’s hand covering your right thigh under the table, slowly caressing your skin as if he was trying to soothe your nerves. During your outburst you hadn’t noticed when his hand slid over but now it was all you could feel, the heat of his touch searing through the fabric of your clothes.

Alistair’s face was flushed red with anger. “The only reason you’re a part of this family, why you’re at this table, is because I allowed you to be here.”

What the hell were you doing? You had better things to do than take part in Russo family problems. This was not your circus, not your monkeys. If they wanted to eat each other alive, so be it. “And that’s my cue to leave. I’ve had enough of you guys for today.”

Easing Billy’s hand from your thigh, you stood up. Your glass was half-full and you didn’t see the point in wasting the excellent wine. You chugged it in one gulp, clinked your glass in an imaginary cheer to the room before placing it back on the table, and then walked out.

As soon as you exited the space, you felt your stomach uncoil. All that nervous anxiety left your body in one big whoosh, you took a deep breath. Holy shit. You were never more grateful for your own family as you were at that moment.

***

Half an hour later you entered your high-rise building, greeting the doorman as you made your way to the elevator. When the doors opened you slid in and scanned the key card that gave you access to the penthouse. The elevator doors were closing when all of a sudden someone waved their hand halfway in, forcing the doors to open again. You looked up to see Billy walking in, dark eyes holding you hostage. You averted his gaze, pressing the close button again.

As soon as the elevator started moving, he marched towards you. You watched him confusedly as he closed the distance, forcing you to retreat until you were backed into a corner, his body encroaching every inch of your personal space.

You swallowed audibly, returning his hostile stare.

“I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.” His voice was raspy, somehow soft and yet menacing. “I can stand up for myself.”

You sneered. “You think I did it for you?” You jut your chin out defiantly. “I don’t like bullies and your grandfather is a fucking bully. It had nothing to do with you. I would’ve stood up for anyone, it just happened to be you.”

The molten darkness of his gaze trailed down to your lips, as if following every micro change in your expression. Like he was trying to consume you, understand you. “Except you didn’t stand up for the rest of my family. Only me.”

He had a point, but you weren’t going to admit that. “Step back, Billy.”

Billy didn’t withdraw, he continued to hold firm. Your eyes lingered from his face, taking in his firm jaw, the graceful length of his neck, noting how the top button of his collared shirt was undone. A soft breath escaped your lips when his hands slid up the sides of your legs, your waist, trailing up languidly.

You pressed your hand against his chest, intending to push him off.

When his hand covered your own in a surprising gesture, his skin felt hot against your touch. You didn’t understand what he was doing, why he wouldn’t move. Maybe it was a ploy to get you to break but there was something else in his eyes you hadn’t seen before. A kind of vulnerability that left you breathless. Not something you wanted to deal with. “I said move back.”

“This isn’t gonna happen, sweetheart,” he murmured.

Not golddigger. Sweetheart. It was meant to be sarcastic, you were sure of it, but instead the word was pure seduction on his lips, intoxicating. And oddly tender.

“You’re not going to claw your way inside my head. I won’t let you.” It was a warning, a threat, temptation wrapped in danger.

“That’s the last thing I want,” you said, surprised at how resolute you sounded and not at all the quivering mess you felt inside.

He didn’t say anything in response. There was no sarcasm, no scorn, no signs of anger or derision even. Just stark seriousness.

“Stay the fuck away from me.”

He turned around and walked out, leaving you perplexed. You hadn’t realized the elevator reached your floor, all of your senses overwhelmed by Billy’s close proximity. The subtle notes of his cologne still lingered in the air and you took a few seconds to calm your nerves. Not until you heard the door slam to your penthouse did you exit the elevator and head inside.

A/N - Hope you guys are enjoying the fic! Would love to hear your thoughts if you have the time. Comments are loved and cherished :)

[syb-la-tortue]

Hi there! Ik you're not into homestuck anymore, but I was wondering if all your old piratestuck art is posted anywhere else, since your original blog got deleted? I used to spend so long just going through that tag, cause I love your art so much. It rly sucks that Tumblr is so hellbent on censoring everything to the point of just trashing a decade or more of someone's hard work :(

sadly at the moment no, tumblr was the only place where the great majority of my Homestuck art was (along with some One Piece art and a good chunk of my early bnha art) and even though I don't think much about Homestuck and Piratestuck these days, I wanted to share these art back then and the sentiment is still true today, I really want all my old arts to still be accessible for everyone to find, even if looking at them today myself might make me cringe due to it being old and seeing all the flaws in them lmao

anon asked: Hope you’ll be able to reupload your art! Everything you make is gorgeous!

I know I won't reupload them on tumblr (wouldn't be able to post the sexy here anyway and I refuse to skip it), or twitter or wherever, one by one like they were posted in the past, because we're talking about hundreds, possibly close to a thousand pieces of art and doodles

what I intend to do is to sort them into a few .PDFs (by fandom? by year?) and make those available for download

it's just that. the task right now is a bit daunting, that's a lot of art to sort through! and I would also like to write some level of commentary, you know like captions to give some context, maybe some of the lore and headcanons for Piratestuck, that kinda thing! but yeah, lot of work that I'm currently a bit afraid to start on so that might be a while...

[niningtori]

see me | chapter one: distance

summary: after another failed relationship, you're ready to give up once and for all. your best friend's little brother, beomgyu, has other plans.

genre: angst, angst with a happy ending, romance, fluff

word count: 3k-ish idk

your eyes watered as the bitter taste of vodka seared the back of your throat, settling uncomfortably in a pool of heat churning in your stomach.

"slow down! you're gonna make yourself sick," your best friend, jia, chastises.

"let her have her fun," beomgyu, her little brother, quietly interjects before you can even finish flushing down the alcoholic aftertaste with your chaser. "she's going through a lot right now."

you nod half-heartedly while sloppily sliding your elbows onto the table, smushing your tear-stained face into your hands and sighing. jia winces at the action before relenting.

"fine. let loose tonight, but this is the last time you're getting this drunk over a piece of shit guy." maybe if she were anyone else you'd resent the harshness of her words, but even in your drunken state you register the softness in her tone.

"wait here, i'll get you some water," and with that she rises and reveals her plain outfit, sticking out like a sore thumb in the strobe neon lights of the flashy bar you're in. you're not looking any better, both of you having come here after having a seemingly normal saturday of running your respective errands and nothing more. that is, until you ended up a few blocks away from your boyfriend of 9 months' apartment and decided to pop in, only to find him absolutely drilling into his girl best friend. the one he claimed you had "nothing to worry about" because "she was just a childhood friend" and you were always so "irrationally jealous" to the point of "borderline paranoia." needless to say, you called jia while booking it to your car. which led you to where you are now: severely underdressed with makeup smudged and eyes swollen.

"are you okay?" beomgyu asks tentatively. you know he knows the answer and he's just trying to comfort you, so your gaze redirects to him and he shifts somewhat uncomfortably under your surveying eye. you and jia may look underdressed, but he certainly doesn't. he blends right in with his band tee and distressed jeans. sitting alone with him probably makes you look even more ridiculous, and though you shouldn't care, you can't help but imagine what others were most likely thinking when they saw you wiping your snot in between shots.

"i'm not," you mumble, and he relaxes a bit now that you're talking again. "i'm sorry, beomie. i'm sorry you got stuck with," you gesture to yourself, "this." and you really were. jia had been with him when you called and once he heard what happened, he insisted on tagging along and scrapping whatever plans he had for the rest of the night.

"do you want to talk about it?" he asks softly. "you don't have to if you don't want to, but i think it would make you feel better."

to that, you smile. despite the age difference, you two had grown quite close in the 8 years you had been friends with jia. In fact, in college it had become a tradition for you to accompany her to her family's once she found out you wouldn't be going home for your first thanksgiving break.

there was nothing worth going to your own home for, you had told her, so she demanded you come to her place instead. as stubborn as she was, you eventually relented after she promised her family was actually excited to meet her dorm mate and new best friend. there you met her parents and beomgyu, and from then on they had accepted you into their family so warmly it had become a given that you would always stay there for any time away from school. that is, until you met your first boyfriend. but you were hellbent on ignoring that part.

"i don't think there's that much to talk about," you sigh. he raises his eyebrows, so you continue. "i thought that maybe there was something going on between him and his best friend, but he convinced me that i was just being controlling. i felt really guilty about it so i dropped it, but i guess i shouldn't have. i just feel so fucking stupid," you choke out.

"it's not your fault. he manipulated you, of course you would want to trust him after he guilted you like that," he says while pushing your hair behind your ear as fresh tears rolled down your face. had you been sober, you might have questioned the intimacy of this, but at present all you could do was revel in it. your phone buzzes again and you immediately reject the call. he had called at least a dozen times and left twice as many text messages. at your rejection, he sends another one, and you read it aloud — more for your own comprehension than beomgyu's —missing the way his stare darkens for just a second.

"baby can we please just talk? i'm so so so sorry it was a mistake. i feel like shit for hurting you. please can you just answer so we can fix this? i love you." you dig your head in your hands before meeting beomgyu's gaze.

"are you gonna answer him?" he asks.

"i don't know, beomie. i just — i kind of feel like at this point i might have to just accept it."

"what do you mean you just have to accept it?" if he's trying to hide his disgust, he doesn't do it well.

"what i mean is that maybe there's a reason 3 out of my 4 boyfriends have cheated on me. maybe it's me? i dunno," you sigh, "i think i might just have to accept the fact that he cheated and forgive him."

"that's bullshit," beomgyu bites out. "you don't deserve any of this shit. not every guy is gonna treat you like that." you smile sadly at his insistence. what he's saying is so sweet, but you're sincerely beginning to think maybe you're cursed to have an unfaithful boyfriend.

"i really think it's just not in the cards for me. is there something so bad about me that this keeps happening to me? actually, don't answer that. i don't think i want to know."

"i'm serious," he insists. "no guy in his right mind would treat you like that."

you want to smile at that, but you physically can't.

"that's easy for you to say, beomie, but you don't exactly treat girls the nicest, either." he balks at this.

"that... that's because i—"

"here. drink this, now." jia cuts in, back with some water. you don't take note of beomgyu's crestfallen appearance.

"thanks jiji," you say with a smile.

"anything for you," she replies.

beomgyu still looks like he's trying to fish words out from the bottom of a barrel, but you leave him be. you're still thinking about your ex's texts and what they mean. he said it's his first, and only, time fucking her, but the betrayal is unbearable. you'd think that after this happened with the third boyfriend in a row, you'd be used to it, but it still feels as fresh as the first time. and this one seems to hurt even more because you really thought this one was going somewhere. he had hinted at moving in together and you were so, so ready to take the next step. so much for that, you guess.

-

he was 14 when he first met you. his sister had told him her new roommate was tagging along and warned him not to be too awkward around her — a pointless warning, really. at 14 he was still a stuttering mess in front of girls his age, let alone someone 4 years his senior, but he promised he'd do his best nonetheless. when his mother told him to be ready because you two were nearly there his palms were already sweating, but when you walked in, face tired from the long drive but eyes remaining bright, his mind went into full panic-mode and his throat went dry. "hi, beomgyu. it's nice to meet you," you said with the softest of smiles and his heart stuttered with every syllable.

your first night at the choi's was fun; jia's family was determined to make you feel welcome and you spent most of the night laughing and learning more about your new friend. after dinner, mr. choi busted out the boardgames and when you saw just how seriously they all took it, you realized where jia got her competitiveness from. she made a particularly callous move in monopoly, earning complaints from her parents and you had to stifle a giggle as the previously silent beomgyu pouted with a "jiaaaa, how could you do this to me?!?" he quickly came out of his shell after that, and needless to say, you were a little shocked at just how loud the boy could be.

as much fun as you had, you were a little emotionally fatigued after such an eventful night. you had never known families could get along as well as jia's did, and in between smiles and questions about yourself, you couldn't stop your heart from aching just a little. how nice would it be if you had a home like this to come back to? how did it feel to have a family who was truly interested in how you're feeling?

as everyone headed to bed, jia noticed your uneasiness and asked if you wanted to talk about it, but you declined. you could tell she was tired and you didn't want to worry her. in a rare moment of vulnerability, she thanked you for coming and told you her parents were so happy you were friends. you smiled as you watched her fall asleep, making sure her breathing was heavy and slow before tiptoeing out of her room, closing the door, and heading out to the back porch.

the stars looked so much brighter here, you noticed. your hometown was pretty big, so the pollution made it impossible to enjoy the sky like this. you wondered what things were like back home. you had been alone with these thoughts for 15 minutes or so before you heard shuffling from inside the house. when you heard the backdoor open you began to say "I'll be back inside in like 2 min—" before you turned and saw beomgyu there, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. his limbs were awkward and gangly but his slightly rounded face and doe eyes made him absolutely adorable to you.

"oh, hi. is everything okay?" you asked slightly worriedly as he stood frozen, mouth agape.

"i-i... you're cold outside?"

you couldn't stop your giggling that time. "i'm sorry, what was that?" you said between laughs. he blushed and you felt a little guilty.

"i'm- it's cold outside. you're probably freezing. wait here," he said before scrambling back inside. he returned with a blanket and your heart warmed.

"take this. it's freezing and that jacket you're wearing isn't enough. look, your nose is red!" he said worriedly.

"wow beomie," you teased, using his family's nickname for him. "i had no idea you were this thoughtful." and just like your nose, his face flushed a deep red.

"hey, I'm just kidding," you softened. "do you want me to head back inside so you can hang out here?" his eyes widened again and you began to fidget to leave your spot on the porch steps.

"n-no. you can stay here, i'll just go back inside."

"you don't have to do that. why don't you just hang out with me for a bit?" there it was. your breezy attitude that left him stumped. you had been so laidback and charming through every interaction with his family, and with himself even, as painfully awkward as he was. but as unbothered as you seemed, he could see the anxiety in your expressions when you thought no one was looking. a shaky breath here, a bitten fingernail there. you hid it from the others masterfully, but his eyes had been trained on you from the moment you stepped into his house, and even you couldn't avoid the occasional slip up. he desperately wanted to comfort you,

"uh, i-if you're okay with me being with you —i mean like being out here while you are also here — then i'll sit too." he knew you had to have noticed his anxiety, but you made no mention of it and instead smiled and patted the open space next to you.

"so. what brings you out here?" you asked.

"i, uh, like to come out here a lot when i can't sleep. it helps me clear my head, i guess." you nodded and didn't ask any more questions, for which he was thankful. he didn't want to have to lie instead of explaining that you were the focal point of his mind back then, and he wanted to come out there to calm himself down.

"it's nice out here. i can see why you come out so often."

"what about you?" he asked tentatively.

"me? i guess i'm just like you. i'm trying to," you paused to find the words "clear my head and recenter right now."

"oh. why?" you locked eyes with him and noticed that his eyes twinkle even more than usual under the starry sky. he didn't balk at the sudden eye contact, just looked at you earnestly as if he was afraid of missing a single word. to both of your surprise, you actually answered, delving into some of the details of your home life. nothing major, but still personal enough to matter. he nodded when appropriate and asked a question every now and then. after your little venting session, you looked at him and gave him the brightest smile yet.

"thanks beomie, you're a great listener and i really like talking to you. i hope i get to do it more often." i really like talking to you. i really like talking to you. you really like talking to him. you wanted to talk to him again. in fact, you hoped you did. his heart skipped a beat and he gulped in a way he only hoped to god was discreet.

"any time, i swear," and he meant it.

-

you had just turned 20 when you met him. doyoon was everything you could have ever wanted (or needed) from a man at any point in time, let alone at 20 years old. he was a TA for one of your lectures and from the moment he accidentally spilled his coffee on his laptop when he tried to ask you out, you were smitten. he was 1 year your senior, set to graduate that academic year, but who can stop love once it starts?

beomgyu was 16 when he felt like the world was crashing down around him. he pinched his arm (just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating) and asked jia not once, but twice to repeat herself. still, the words remained the same: "she won't be coming home for thanksgiving because she'll be with her boyfriend."

his stomach ached and his complexion turned pallid. jia watched him with worry. "beomie, are you okay?"

"so she's staying at his family's?" he ignored her question so pointedly that she somewhat doubted if she ever asked it in the first place. "isn't that too fast? and what about us?" about me? if you met him in august, that meant you had only been dating for 3 months. meanwhile, you had known him for 2 whole years!

"i mean, in my opinion, yeah. but there's nothing i can do about it besides support her and hope for the best," she mused. "he actually seems like a nice enough guy," she added off-handedly. if only she knew how her words decimated him. she spread the unfortunate (for him) news to her parents and while slightly disappointed that you wouldn't be joining, they were happy you seemed to be in a healthy relationship.

that evening, he happened to hear a call between you and his sister through the shared wall between their rooms. he didn't happen to press his ear on it, that part was completely intentional.

"did you tell everyone that i'm sorry i couldn't be there this year? i miss them all," and he could hear how much you meant it.

"yeah, they were battering me with questions about doyoon. you'd better be prepared for an onslaught of questions next time you come home." you snorted and whined in response but he can almost see the upturn of your lips at the choi's house being referred to as "home", even through a wall and a phone. "how's doyoon's family?"

"they're so so nice," you sigh contentedly. "i was afraid it might be awkward since our relationship is so new, but they've been nothing but kind and inclusive." beomgyu can't help but feel indignant at the idea that a family could be more welcoming to you than his.

"i'm glad they're treating you well, i was afraid i was gonna have to come rescue you myself. how's doyoon?"

"i've got a really good feeling about him, jia. he's just so... mature? and experienced? " with that, beomgyu's heart sunk to his feet.

"first of all, ew. i don't need to know that," jia teased. beomgyu decided he didn't need to know that either, so he moved away from the wall dejectedly. if he had continued to listen he'd have heard you feverishly denying that you were implying anything sexual, but he already felt like he was being punished for eavesdropping. he knew he was too young for you at present, but in 2 years he'd be 18 and it wouldn't matter anymore. somewhere in the back of his mind he had hoped you would wait for him, unconsciously or not. you could be each other's first everything.

that dream is dashed after 2 whole years of pining, but he'd remember your words for the rest of his life. if you wanted a guy who's mature, he'd be more mature. if you wanted a guy with more experience, he'd get more experience. all you ever have to do is ask once, and maybe not even that much.

-

"just tell her you like her, man," yeonjun says with a sigh.

"he doesn't like her, he loves her," taehyun cuts in.

"well, tell her you love her then!"

"i can't do that," beomgyu argues defensively. "she still sees me as a 14 year old kid."

"that's tough," kai nods.

"then put it down on her and stop complaining," yeonjun says with a roll of his eyes.

"don't be gross," beomgyu says, smacking the back of his head.

"i'm not! i'm serious."

"he has a point, gyu," taehyun chimes in.

"oh god, not you too," beomgyu groans.

"we're just saying she wouldn't think of you as a kid anymore if you would just act like a man and not a lovesick puppy," yeonjun reasons.

"yeah man, you don't act like this with any other girl. just be normal," taehyun says.

"she's not just any other girl to him, she's the girl," soobin argues out of seemingly nowhere and beomgyu blushes. he's not wrong, though. if he cared less about you, it'd be easier to get with you.

he always said he'd wait until you were single to make a move, but you were with doyoon for three whole years. then joonwoo for 6 months. then seoyun for 8 months. then donghyun for 9 months. at 26, you're nothing short of a serial monogamist, and he was always just on the precipice of gathering his courage to ask you out when you enter another relationship.

jia said you were coping with your breakup with doyoon in your own sick little way, but that didn't really make beomgyu feel any better. to him, that just meant you were still stuck on the man he felt so inferior to. but after seeing how fucked up you were after your last relationship, he was just about done with waiting for you to look at him.