#tbh this was made because i played through night to remember again and realized how close to martin he looked

[longer-circle]

a priest and a sanguinite walk into a bar...

[nikkeora]

For All the Mary Janes

summary; 'in every other universe, gwen stacy falls for spider-man. and in every other universe, it doesn’t end well'. what about the mary janes, then?

or, in which you're the mary jane to miles's spider-man

pairing(s); e-1610! Miles Morales x reader, e-42! Miles Morales x reader

warning(s); i didn’t have any specific gender or race for r in mind while writing, but rio calls r ‘mija’ once and i think that’s ab it

maybe some incorrect usage of Spanish? Spanish speakers who can respond to my weird questions pls hmu

maybe ooc but it’s been in my drafts so long i just wanted to get it out tbh

implied/mentioned parental issues with reader, not proofread, written (mostly) at ao3 hours

You and Miles were always joined at the hip. Your parents knew each other well, so your families were together a lot. Mr. and Mrs. Morales saw you like their own daughter, often joking that you and Miles would be engaged when you got older with the way he could never leave you alone.

At least, up till around two years ago.

You and Miles started to grow apart when you got into Visions Academy. He thought it was a stupid school full of stuck-up rich kids who only cared about making connections that would help them along further down the line. You thought it was a good school that had a good track record of producing students that had a lot of success in what they wanted to do.

Some things were said the day before your transfer.

Since then, the two of you rarely texted or called. Mrs. Morales would often come by for coffee with your mom, tell you about how her son was doing and gush over 'how much you've grown' from last Tuesday, but that was about the only way you knew the vague outline of what he was up to.

You'd admit you felt lonely for a while. After all, Miles had been your best friend ever since you could remember. But you also weren't going to go running to him after everything he'd said.

I mean, was it really that bad to want a good future?

Soon enough though, you felt like yourself again. You met new people, made new contacts, and actual friends. Because contrary to popular belief, the people there weren't all mini business men and heartless CEOs in the making. They were just kids, after all.

And then, Miles won the draw. Just a few weeks before the start of the new semester, your parents mentioned that he'd be going to your school from now on in passing.

You didn't think much of it at first. I mean, everyone has that one childhood friend that they fell apart with, right? For the first week or so, you didn't even see his face much. In fact, you didn't see him at all, not even a glimpse in the halls.

That was about to change drastically.

Short story shorter, you caught a glimpse of him walking on the side of the school with pigeons stuck to his hands. A month or two later, Spider-Man climbed through your dorm window, ripping off his mask and ranting about some villain of the week.

"I couldn't even catch the guy-"

"Miles?"

"...You're not Ganke."

The two of you made up that night. He apologized, admitting he was being unfair and was upset that you were leaving his school. It didn't exactly clear everything, but it was a start. The two of you caught each other up on everything they had missed. In the end, the sun was about to come up and the both of you realized you hadn't gotten a minute of sleep on a school night.

From then on, the two of you get closer again. He went to you for the occasional rant or patch up, and he actively sought you out in school now, relieved to see a familiar face in the halls. Gradually, you got close to the point you'd call him one of your best friends and vice versa after around a year of radio static.

Everything was great. He was cute, funny - in an awkward way, but hey, he made you laugh - he looked out for you, and when he talked to you he did this cute little thing where he would play with the strings of his hoodie which he somehow always managed to layer on with like two other jackets and—

Oh yeah, did we mention the crush you had on him?

Because there was one.

Big huge one, right here. Materialized out of thin air looks like.

Which should have been fine. You were perfectly capable of hiding a crush. I mean, come on, it's high school. You would've been eaten alive if you couldn't.

Normally, you would even be confident that you could make your crush like you back. I mean, why wouldn't he?

Two words. One person.

Gwen Stacy.

It was like he could never go even one conversation without mentioning her.

Slight exaggeration? Maybe. Maybe not.

"Oh yeah, that's cool! Y'know, Gwen told me one time that—"

"You got an A, I knew you could do it! I told you so. Did you know Gwen got A's in—"

"Oh hey, you got your hair cut! Reminds me of that time when me and Gwen—"

At first, it was bearable. Sure, she came up annoyingly often whenever you talked, but she had just left this dimension, never to be seen again. Of course he was gonna miss her.

You laughed at all his stories, listened to every one even though he told the same six or seven ones over and over again. You even grew to like Gwen, as if you'd known her for the short amount of time Miles did, too.

But then two months passed. Then six. Then a whole year. Before you knew it, a year and four months had passed since the departure of Gwen Stacy.

And he still. Wouldn't. Shut. Up.

You had tried to understand. You really did.

But you can only hear the same damn jokes so many times before you get a migraine.

Pick any story. You could list off every variation of how Miles would tell it off the top of your head.

Gwen Stacy became the daughter of one of your mom’s friends, so to speak. That one girl in the neighborhood you couldn’t help but envy.

And worst of all, it was like he wished you were her.

Whenever you did something, he would tell you how Gwen could do it better. He would ask you whether or not you thought Gwen would like certain trinkets he found around town, and kept a collection of them in one of his drawers so he could give them to her one day. He was even studying quantum physics instead of art so that he could make his own multiversal gateway - a safe one, so that he could unlock the multiverse, possibly for good.

It hurt when he zoned out while you were telling him about you, thinking about her; your day, what you wanted to study, how your parents were fighting a lot again lately and you were struggling because of it, how you'd joined a new band—

"A band, huh?" Miles suddenly perked up, finally looking up from his sketchbook. "Did I tell you Gwen's in a band? It's called the Mary Janes—"

"Miles would you please stop?"

A pause, both of you mildly surprised at how you'd snapped at him.

The two of you were at your dorm, seated side-by-side on the bed with your legs folded in front of you. It was Friday, the day before Mr. Morales’s pre signing-in party.

The boy looked at you, a questioning look on his face. "What's wrong?"

And that tilt with his head - he really didn't know, did he? You couldn't decide if that was better or worse.

"Miles, I know Gwen's in a band," He tried to say something, but you didn't let him speak before you continued. "I know she's a drummer, I know she does ballet, I know she had to shave half of her head because you couldn't control your powers - hell, the whole school knows that—"

"C’mon, don’t bring that up—"

"—I know every single story she told you while she was here, and I know every single detail of what you two did and how you did it. And I know she does everything I can do and she does it better. I’m tired of hearing it, Miles." His eyebrows furrowed, a slightly hurt look flashing across his face. "I’m sorry you miss her and I’m sorry she’s gone, but I just can’t be around you if all you’re gonna do is compare me to her."

A moment of silence settled in the air. You hoped Miles would understand. Surely, he’d see how tedious this was getting.

"All I’m asking is for you to tone it down."

Another beat passes without a word from the boy. He’s looking into your eyes, but it doesn’t seem like he’s all there. Like there’s a world past your irises that he’s seeing for the first time.

"I- I’m sorry, y/n, I can’t do that." Miles finally says, his gaze turning away from yours and to the sketch he’d been working on for the last hour. You glanced down at it as well, the bright blue eyes of the one and only Gwen Stacy meeting yours.

"You’re the only one I can talk to on this," he said quietly, softly closing the sketchbook and tapping a finger nervously on the cover.

"Ganke?"

"Ganke’s fine, he’s great, he’s just.. not someone I can go to for these things."

You took a deep breath, the guilt of having to tell him ‘no’ building up in your chest. You knew his relationship with his parents were complicated at the moment, and he didn’t really have friends outside of you and Ganke. But still.. it was like he wasn’t at all interested in what was going on in your life ever since your initial reconnection.

It wasn’t like you expected a complete 50:50 give-and-take in relationships, but honestly you felt like you were talking to a robot with very limited audio cues.

"Miles, you don’t listen to me anymore. The only time you actually respond to anything I say is when it’s something even remotely related to Gwen."

"That’s not true!" Miles protested. You watched as he tried to find something to argue his point, only to come up empty. His shoulders sagged a little.

"But you gotta understand, Gwen - I’m not gonna see her again, at least until I figure out.. everything." He said in a quiet voice. "I need to talk to someone. Can’t you understand?”

"I’m not trying to shut everything down, I’m just asking you to pay attention to me every once in a while." You sighed. "And if you’e not willing to do that… do you even think of me as a friend?"

-

Miles left your dorm not long after that little talk, sneaking out the same way he snuck in; through the window. You dug your nails into your palms, breathing in and out in a steady rhythm to push down any sadness you may have felt. It was the second time you and Miles had grown apart, this time maybe your fault a little more than his. It felt like it, anyway.

Still, you felt like you’d done the right thing.

You hoped so, anyway.

-

It was an hour before Jeff Morales’s technically-not-captain-yet-but-will-be-soon celebration. Your dad and yourself had come early to prepare everything and set up all the decorations. Your mom apparently ‘couldn’t make it’. It was the third time in the last two weeks she cancelled on plans that your dad was involved in.

You stacked red plastic cups on one of the tables, a cooler full of ice and two-litre soda bottles to your left. Miles’s parents had insisted they didn’t need any help, but your dad had insisted right on back that the two of you wanted to. You didn’t mind. You’d cleared your evening for the event anyway, so it’s not like you had anything better to do.

The one thing that made you kind of regret coming was your lack of a jacket. It’d been really sunny in the morning, so you’d figured it would be a warm night. A breeze picked up and sent a light chill through your body, causing you to just barely shiver.

"Mija," Mrs. Morales called, coming up from behind you and laying a hand on your shoulder. "You’re freezing."

"Oh, I’m fine, mama," you replied, smiling at her. She gave you a look that said ‘we both know that isn’t true’.

"Miles might have something in his room," she suggested, "I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you borrowed one of his clothes."

You thanked her but refused, claiming it might get warmer once the guests started to arrive and the party was at full swing. She must have noticed something was off when she mentioned Miles, because she raised an eyebrow and shook her head lightly before asking,

"What did he do now?"

Either you’re really bad at hiding things from her or her motherly sixth-sense worked on you too. You hesitated, but decided it wouldn’t hurt to tell her. After all, Rio had always been like a mom to you.

"We had a fight - if you can even call it that, anyway, about a girl," you said, fiddling with a plastic cup. "We’re not on real good terms right now, I don’t think…"

Rio looked slightly surprised for a moment, then something seemed to click into place. She sighed and put her hands on your cheeks. "He’s a little bit slow," she said, giving you a sympathetic smile. "But he’ll get there. Eventually."

She then squished your face before immediately letting go, making you laugh. "Now go get yourself a jacket. I don’t want my only daughter to freeze to death."

You held your hands up in surrender as she pointed to the stairs, swiftly making your way down to the Moraleses’ flat. You had a spare key that Miles’s parents had given you a long while ago, when your parents used to have full on screaming matches in the middle of the living room every other day.

Within a couple minutes you’d grabbed one of the dozen coats, hoodies and jackets strewn about Miles’s closet, pulling the soft material over your shoulders as you took a glance around his room. Everything was about the same as you’d seen two or three weeks ago, save for a few new stickers laid about the desk.

There was an all-too-familiar sketchbook on the bed, one similar to what Miles had been scribbling in last night in your dorm, just in a different color. This one looked a bit more used, so you supposed he’d gotten it and packed it full of Gwen Stacy just after she left this reality. The thought put a bitter taste on your tongue.

-

A half an hour into the party, Miles still hadn’t showed up. He was supposed to be here at least twenty minutes ago, and you could tell his parents were getting both worried and annoyed. Rio asked around for her son as Jeff chatted with some colleagues. Suddenly, an auntie shoved a mic into Mrs. Morales’s hand, drawing everybody’s attention to her by clinking her glass. Jeff looked away in what could only be described as complete horror.

"Um, hi…"

You grinned as she continued with embarrassing stories about her husband, from little anecdotes from when they were dating to how he was almost 10lbs as a baby. It was then that Mr. Morales jumped in, quickly taking the mic away from her and giving his own speech.

"—And to my son…"

You grimaced as he raised his cup, looking around for someone who wasn’t there. The two of you met eyes instead, and you shook your head to tell him he hadn’t showed with an apologetic look. He turned to his wife, only for her to do the same. He cleared his throat before continuing.

"…The reason I do any of this in the first place. So.. I love you Miles."

Afterwards, the DJ put the records on again. People are talking, laughing, congratulating, creating a warm, buzzing atmosphere. You’re dragged away by a few little kids to play with them over by a small cluster of barrels, which they’ve decided is their ‘lair’. You play make believe with them for a little while as their parents stand a bit away with your own dad, occasionally glancing over at you to make sure the kids are behaving.

It’s then that Miles finally shows up, pushing the door open with two boxes in his arms. You follow him through your peripheral vision as he tries to avoid his parents, ultimately failing. You’re not sure what they’re saying, but it doesn’t seem to be going that well. He shows them the contents of his boxes, which doesn’t seem to impress them too much.

After a couple more words, Mr. Morales raises his voice, the DJ trying to divert people’s attention away by upping the volume but ultimately giving up.

"What do you got to tell me so bad?"

"You know what? Never mind."

Miles walked away, pulling his hood up as his dad yelled after him about him being grounded for two months. Must’ve been really bad, huh?

You waited for the music to come back on before you made your way to the exit, ruffling one of the little kids’ hair as he skittered away with his sister. You’re just going to check on him for a minute, just to see if he’s okay. You can do that… right? I mean sure, it might be awkward since things had ended like that last night, but still.

No one else was going to.

You let yourself into the flat once again, approaching Mile’s room with soft footsteps. You’re just outside the door when—

"Are these your drawings?"

You stop dead in your tracks. Your heart freezes right along with you. For a moment, you felt like a deer in headlights.

A feeling crawls its way under your skin, cold and slippery. You don’t know how you know, but you’re absolutely positive.

"Missed you too."

Gwen Stacy.

-

You’re on your way home, your hands rubbing up and down your arms to try to warm yourself up during the walk. You lived a little while away from Miles’s place, but it’s nothing you can’t walk.

You’d left the jacket on the Morales’ couch, turning on your heel and leaving the moment you heard her voice.

Damn it.

When had she gotten back? How had she gotten back? What was Miles’s reaction?

What were they doing now?

…Did you really want to know?

As your brain clouded over with questions, you took a wrong turn. Maybe two. Or three. Honestly, you didn’t know. Once you realized that this definitely wasn’t your neighborhood, you stopped yourself mid-step, looking around to see if anything was familiar at all.

Your eyes settled on a building, as there really wasn’t anything other than that around here other than some roads and bridges. One of the windows were glowing.

Then the whole structure began to rumble.

The ground beneath your feet started to turn… black…?

Wha—

-

You fell.

Not for too long, but you did.

You dropped around six feet onto hard concrete, twisting your ankle in the process. You cried out in pain and surprise.

"What the—?"

"Y/n?"

You looked up at that. You knew that voice.

Except, you didn’t.

The first thing you noticed is that this definitely was not the place you were in before. This place was more narrow, more dark. Light rain pattered on your skin as your hands supported your sitting position, wondering what the hell was going on.

The person who’d said your name was at the entrance to the alley you’d been.. teleported? to.

They took hesitant steps over to you, and, for some reason, you didn’t feel scared that this complete stranger had cornered you in a place you’d never even seen before.

Maybe the voice is what made you think it was alright.

Or maybe it was his face, which made your heart stop its primary function for the second time today.

"Miles?"

But he wasn’t Miles. At least.. not your Miles. This one was skinnier, just a little shorter. His accent had more of a Spanish touch to it and, most of all, his hair was braided into two sections that reached just below his shoulders.

No. He was very much not your Miles Morales.

Nevertheless, you knew he wouldn’t hurt you. There was something in his eyes — regret? Happiness? Sadness? Anger? Confusion? Probably all of the above.

He got closer, and closer, and closer. Once he reached where you were half-laying, he crouched down and tilted his umbrella until it sheltered your body more than his.

"…Are you hurt?" He asked, giving you a once-over. You just nodded, still putting all the pieces together.

Had you—

Did you—?

The boy in front of you studied your face for a little while, but then ultimately shook his head and shrugged off his jacket, handing it over to you.

"Come on. It’s cold outside."

[outro-jo]

i don’t have a title for this

pairing: bang chan (chris) x best friend!reader (gender neutral)

type: one shot

summary: some news about your best friend has you out all night but of course he’s the one that’s gonna come to your rescue

warnings: none tbh, not rly edited, mentions of drinking and nudity

a/n: please use my ask box to request anything else you’d want me to write!

masterlist | info

—————————

you don’t quite know how you got here or where here is, exactly. it started with a couple of shots with some friends at a bar in gangnam. that bar became another bar, then another, and then a club until your feet were almost bloodied from the walking and dancing—thanks to all the alcohol, you couldn’t feel a thing. now you were stumbling through the streets, wandering aimlessly. your best friends who had drug you out tonight had each found someone else to go home with and you walked alone. not by choice, certainly. well, at least not your choice.

the reason you’d actually gone out was because your best friend started dating someone, or that’s what dispatch said. normally you don’t let things like silly gossip get to you but this wasn’t some idol you read about, it was your best friend.

your best friend who you used to bathe with as babies. the best friend who knows about the broken nose you got in grade 4 and why you got it. he knows about the mole in the weird place no one else has seen before. the best friend that begged you to move to Korea with him to go to uni. the best friend who knows ever dark secret you hide, has seen nearly every tear you shed… and the one who has your heart completely.

he has no idea.

your friends could see you immediately spiraling over the article and insisted you all go out tonight. after about the third drink you could start feeling your mind numb and you began to finally enjoy yourself. of course, you did lose count of drinks after about nine. so, here you are, stumbling through the streets.

your phone lit up: “best mate 💕”

“well, well, fancy meeting you here.” you slurred with a goofy grin plastered on your face.

“oh, naur, i’m too late.” Chris scolded himself. he had every intention of warning you about the article but it slipped his mind. “where are you?”

“umm.” you stopped and looked up at the street sign before reading it off. “next to that boba place we like.”

“ok, yeah, i know the one. stay right there! don’t move!” you could hear clattering in the background of him gathering his things.

“aye, aye, sailor!” you saluted the light post and sighed before taking a seat on the ground.

it was only a minute that you had closed your eyes before you felt a hand rest on your shoulder.

“Darling? Babe, c’mon. let’s go.” Chris’s soft voice awakened you only for a minute as he scooped you up and carried you to the car.

the street lights flashed above your head as chris made his way back to your apartment but all you saw was black with your eyes closed. white noise began fading in and you were pretty much out for the count with chris not only getting to your apartment but carrying you inside. it wasn’t until your back was rested on your mattress that you looked up and realized who was with you.

“Chris! you came!” you exclaimed softly.

he looked down at you adoringly, smoothing the hair back on your forehead, “you called.”

you laughed loudly. “I did not! you called me. loser!l

“yeah, yeah, i’m the loser.” he said to himself as he walked into the bathroom for a minute.

your eyes had closed again by the time he came back and you suddenly felt wet on your cheek as Chris took a make up wipe to your face. you felt him clean off your face before asking, “you alright if i change your clothes?”

“yes, mr. gentleman.” you sprawled your arms, “strip me!”

again Chris chuckled and removed your outfit. he tried extra hard not to stare at your mismatched lingerie for too long. a small smirk played at the corner of his lips remembering how you had told him once that if someone is matching lingerie/undergarments they’re planning on hooking up. he took comfort in knowing that your only intent of the evening was to blow off some steam.

he wished so badly that you were sober and could have an actual conversation of what’s happening. how it was all a lie spread by a sasaeng when they saw him and sana together.

that probably hurt you a lot too. seeing him with another long time friend he constantly told you he had no feelings for and it was everywhere that they were now together, but they weren’t.

instead of having that conversation, he pulled one of his old tour shirts out and carefully put it on you. he loved seeing you in his clothes, made him feel like you were his.

chris took a seat on the edge of the bed, brushing your hair off your face. he watched for a moment, the way your chest would rise and fall. you were so peaceful like this, so beautiful. his thumb rested on your cheek, rubbing it up and down. after a moment or two, chris went to stand up and leave but you caught his wrist.

“noooo,” you whined into your pillow. “please stay with me.” you raised your arm to welcome him in.

chris chuckled and relented. he clicked off the lamp and climbed in next to you. he assumed the position of the big spoon behind you, pulling you in close. this wasn’t unfamiliar to him. your body pressed against his, the smell of your shampoo and perfume lingering around you. it was so safe and comfortable.

he remembers the first time you saw him after he moved. it was after a particular conversation you had with him that involved him crying that he might not get to debut. at 13, you had convinced your elderly grandmother to use her credit card so you could fly (unaccompanied) from australia to south korea. thankfully chris’s parents were coming in a few days but the days you had with chris before they came were magical. he snuck you into the dorms and he held you like he is now.

“chris?” you voice broke the fading memory.

“yeah, love.”

even half asleep your heart cracked at the pet name. “why her? why didn’t you tell me?” you nearly cried. with your face still smushed against your pillow, Chris would have almost thought it was cute, if you weren’t so sad.

“baby, we’ll talk in the morning. I’m not dating her. please, just go to sleep.”

you turned to him, rubbing your face. “you’re not?”

he shook his head.

“well, now i can finally date you.” you didn’t even think. the words fell out of your mouth without a thought and disappeared. they didn’t faze you one bit as you rolled back over, snuggled into him and went back to sleep.

but Chris was as stiff as a board. he couldn’t move. he didn’t want to dare disrupt a universe in which you had just confessed your feelings to him. he was too scared the if he moved, he’d jinx it and go back to a world where you weren’t potentially his. you did say it though. the words echoed in his head and his heart raced.

finally he unfroze and leaned down to kiss your cheek. “yes, baby, you can finally date me.”

“oh, good!” you sighed. “i love you, Channie”

[leclerced]

16 with Charles of course 🥰

ugh one of my all time favorite songs ive watched the music video ten thousand times tbh

i had a lil flashback so i italicized it for clarity !

mine - taylor swift

Moments like these with Charles were her favorite, when the season ended and he was worry free for a few weeks on break. They were currently laid up on his couch with a Christmas movie playing. She could hear his heartbeat in his chest where her head was resting as she relaxed between his legs. Her fingers twisted around Charles rings as she asked, "Can you believe it?" He hums underneath her questioningly, his other hand running through her hair. "That we're here now. Do you remember we were sitting there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time." She grins at the thought.

Charles hummed again, "Yeah, I do. I was so scared. You remember the city lights on the water?" She could remember them in his eyes when she looked at him, the way they were lit up and shining so bright. "You saw me start to believe for the first time."

It was one of their favorite memories, right after his debut. She'd gone with him to Australia for the first race of the 2018 season for support, and they'd gone out celebrating and ended up sitting along the Yarra river. They had been walking for an hour when they found the bench and it felt so natural to her that every time he told her how scared he was to do it, it made her laugh.

He'd been worried she didn't like him back apparently, but she'd been staring at him all night and he wasn't feeling great after coming in 18th so she pulled him out of the club to go on a walk. He tried keeping them near the club and hotel, but she was distracting. She kept walking ahead of him and he stared at her long legs and ass shamelessly until she realized she'd walked ahead and suddenly stopped. His eyes would jerk to meet hers as she turned and gave him an expectant look, and he'd rush to catch up.

After an hour, she'd finally slowed down to keep up with him and told him how proud she was of him, that she knew his dad was proud too. That she knows he's going to be a champion one day. He couldn't look at her then because he wanted to tell her loved her but he kept his eyes locked on the water and skyline until she suddenly stopped again. He kept walking for a moment before he noticed she wasn't by his side and turned to see her sitting on the bench. He hadn't even noticed it when they passed. Before he could overthink, he sat right next to her and pulled her into his side. "Hearing you say that means more than you'll ever mean, you are the best thing in my life." He couldn't look at her as he said it, the bit of alcohol in his system giving him the courage he needed to get the words out.

She just pressed herself closer and sighed, "Me too, Cha."

She was suddenly pulled out of the memory when he curled his fingers around her wrist and brought it up to his lips, "You are the best thing that's ever been mine."

A fond smile grew on her lips and she tilted her head to press a kiss over his heart, "Me too, Cha."

[s0ft-d3cay]

Remember?

Shigaraki x Gender Neutral Reader | Fuck the ending of the manga, all me and my homies hate the end of the manga!

Warnings: Mentions of unconsciousness, mentions of alcohol, fairly cute tbh, reader is a healer, v short Y/N is used, they/them pronouns for the reader

WC: 373

"You were in an alleyway, I remember you were just sitting up against the wall. I thought you were a corpse at first glance, but I walked closer and saw how badly injured you were…” Y/N recount the memory, expression softening as their cheek squished against their knuckles. Leaned up against the bar with a fond gaze, "I healed you up and sat beside you until you could talk again…and man did you use to talk.” They chuckled, head shaking as the memory plays.

"I could’ve listened to you go on for hours back then, hell even now.” Y/N added, filling the deadly quiet bar of the three. Their eyes soon glancing back towards their glowing amber glass, the liquid almost luring Y/N for another sip. Shigaraki sitting to the left only sits there staring.

“You can’t be serious...that was you? No way in hell…that was you?!” Shigaraki says in disbelief, his own recalling of the memory disjointed and confusing. No matter what, the blue hair man just couldn’t recall the person that helped him. "I…I…Y/N, I didn’t even…” Genuinely shocked at the revelation, he couldn’t finish his sentence, to stuck on that fact that…someone saved him.

“Remember? Yeah, um back then my quirk had a weird set back with strangers and it made me anonymous. Then the second time we really met was at the bar I worked at. The one Kurogiri and Giren frequented for scouting." Y/N answered with a kind smile, head tilted to the side as their hand absentmindedly rubs their neck.

Another gleam of recognition flashed through their eyes, "You showed up one night, walked straight up to my island of the bar, and demanded for champagne. That’s when I realized who you were.” Y/N watches as the blue haired man's face flushes in light blush, stuttering out his responds. "I…That was all Kurogiri’s idea, for me to meet you there."

The healer nodded, a knowing grin growing over their lips. Of course, Y/N thought, their work and status had to have been on their radar. "Right, he was always a nicer patron than the rest of them.” They commented, taking a sip of their heavy-fruity liquor.

“And all because you wanted me to…join the boy band, right?"

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights of any of the characters I write about, all the rights go to their respective creators.

[caffernnn]

Free! Anniversary Fic Recs 🦋🐋🐬🦈🐧 Can you share your fav fics from each year (2013-2023) Free! has been around?

This is a very fun ask!! Lemme root through my bookmarks and see what I can find 😅

2013 - A lot of the stories I have saved from this time are shorter lil one-shots like “Never Leave” by Shimegami (classic mh hug-it-out interlude fic) and “The Sound of Settling” by teke (feelings realization stuff), but one other one I liked was “The Ocean You Gave My Heart” by miaoujones. Smut warning for that one (if that’s not your thing), but something about desert-bound Makoto learning to swim and indulge in water with Haru, thinking upon meeting him that he’s a wonder whether he’s really a mermaid or not, that’s neat!!

2014 - starting to realize the ones I kept any note of from the early years are some of the popular mh fics probably already recommended 10 times over, but there’s a reason why people sing their praises. If you haven’t checked out fics from tide tothemoon like 2/13189000 (mhtokyo my beloved), their writing is *chef’s kiss* delightful. Another AU I haven’t been able to bring myself to revisit was orihime’s reincarnation stories from “I cannot be without you, matter of fact.” There are two different stories, one where Makoto remembers their past lives and a follow up where Haru remembers, and oh that made me ache dude.

2015 - Speaking of suffering, have y’all checked out Heart’s Departure yet? I think we’ve referenced and talked about that story enough for it to speak for itself 🥴 heartbreaking circumstances but still cosmic and so so beautiful. Then, once you’re done crying about that story, hop over to “Shake the Heavens” by Ad_Astra to break down over (what I described in my ao3 bookmark) Makoto and Haru’s “inherently cataclysmic devotion.” I guess 2015 was the year of shoving the boys into tragic AUs and seeing how much they were willing to give up to get back to each other. A whole vibe

2016 - let’s goooo gamers, more AUs!! “I’d Create Oceans For You” by trashness is a fun fantasy adventure that has both tender moments and interesting action (and some banger art from donguris omggg). If you want something more future-fish-flavored that shows that happily-ever-after doesn’t save you from your grief, “Sublimation” by RedScribbler was great. You can find more of my thoughts on that one if you scroll back a bit in my “fic recs” tag — one of y’all sent it in and yeeees it was so up my alley!

2017 - Alright fellas, there are so many to choose from, because now we’re getting into the macbetha years! Who would I be if I didn’t mention “Eyes Wide Open All The Time” tbh?? It’s a long one with its own hard-hitting involved lore and world-building, but Beth builds this unique story in a way that pulls from the characters we know and love so effectively. I’ve sung the praises for this story multiple times (and could so do it again bro don’t tempt me) but I’ll end off with saying that if you’re fascinated in watching deeply-wounded people who’ve been put through hell learn how to make a life in the aftermath, there’s something special for you here. Aaaand, if you want something about 1/10 the length and not as heavy, “159 (Architect/Interior Designer AU)” by intoxicatedcinnamon has some fun moments 😌 that’s another one where you can find more of my thoughts somewhere in the fic recs tag (love when y’all send me stories 💚💙)

2018 - “Coral and Bone” by Macbetha my beloved!!!! Wanna play mermaids and fight the gods? Maybe try to find that summer magic that makes you want to keep going and accidentally fall in love on the way? I am puuushing you toward this story bestie. Everyone’s here and everyone’s having fun! OH ALSO I’m throwing in “Night Changes” by SEMellark because I love stories where Makoto and Haru actually figure out how to talk to each other. (Side note — a lot of these are probably gonna be things I’ve rec’d in the past, so feel free to scroll my tag for more details and consider this list an extra endorsement 😅)

2019 - (drops basket full of love for mutuals) OOPS OOPS OOPS!!! Don’t mind me, just popping in with some “Let’s Get Married” by sagesprouts and “Anthropocene” by testosterogna, nothing to see here but some classic natsunao shenanigans and one of the sickest elemental bender AUs out there 😌✨ I also have some fics from Svana saved from this year, but I’ll be mentioning her again later so hold on okay!!

2020 - alright, now the list is getting longer with everyone jumping back in during the early pandemic days 🏃🏻‍♀️SO FIRST OFF “green eyes, you’re the one I wanted to find” by infinite_always is an absolute FLUFF FEST of a soulmate AU! Unbearably tender moments but who doesn’t love that every so often? OH AND we have another one of my all-time ultimate fic recs here!! “Reaching” by CupNoodles55 has shaped and reshaped how I look back at Eternal Summer in the way I’d want any great canon-compliant fic to. Big love for interlude scenes and extra bits that help recontextualize or deepen what a moment could’ve meant in the show. Gonna end off 2020 with “The Sea Aflame” by Dizzydodo because even though this urban fantasy story is unfinished, I was super drawn in by the prospects of dragon!Makoto and whatever god stuff was going on with Sousuke. An interesting universe I love thinking about again from time to time.

2021 - Starting off strong with “love on the water, love underwater (and so on)” by rudimentaryflair because we love introspection here!!! Lovely writing style with lines that make me want to scale the walls. This take on Makoto is so so special. Also gonna rec “To Clear Away Today” by suhmayzooka (omg hiiii) if you want to be thrown into another hard-hitting intricate AU with loads of potential. Love exploring what we’ve got to see of the world so far 💞 and OOOH IT’S TIME!! “Extraordinary” by Svana_Vrika is basically canon to me at this point. Svana has a lot of sweet shorter stories with Makoto and Haru (look here, look here), but this one is everythinggg my guy. Similar appeal to “Reaching” mentioned earlier: a story of interludes that bring the story we already know to life in a delightful new way. Required reading for mhtokyo fans forreal. ONE LAST ONE OKAY!! “Teacher” by VeloxVoid is a great future fic with teacher!Makoto and artist!Haru (and I’m not biased just bc it was a gift exchange for me with details fit to my specific tastes wdym��🏻). Domestic blisssss

2022 - Ooh we’ve almost caught up y’all ☺️ gonna start with “All This and Heaven Too” by SocksAreArgyle because sometimes the bestie crafts a smorgasbord of smut with a delicious throughline of character/relationship development baked in. If you want your choice of spicy makoharus or some character exploration, you’re SET with this one. Next is “I Let My Heart Go” by martincrieff because sometimes the bestie looks at poor pining Makoto and goes “you know what would be messed up?” AND I JUST !!! So full of love and now full of flower petals. Hanahaki!Makoto my dearest boy!! Aaaand ending off the year with some tender mh (to Ikuya’s detriment) in “The Night Train” by Lizzyboo. They’re so softtt with each other and UGH this story is so nice. Love watching people take the crumbs from FS/FS2 and make a meal 💜

2023 - The year is young! And old! So here’s some more, with who knows how many bangers yet to come 🎉 First going to throw in the Makoharu Week 2023 collection for your perusal because I saw some fantastic stories emerge from that event. If you have twitter, I’d recommend also seeing some of the threadfics posted over there from the event as well 💚💙 and I thiiink I’m gonna close off for now with “just like it was always meant to be” by tonfea because they’ve been putting out banger stories that deserve all the love. Haru introspection is one of those things that isn’t always done very well (which is especially hard to reckon with in older fics) but tonfea’s stories all have an intimate understanding about Haru’s mind and journey that just makes sense.

Alright hello we made it to the end!!! Might’ve thrown in more than expected but I hope makoharu enjoyers find something on this list that fits their fancy 🥲 (and if anyone wants to rec something or ramble about a story here that they loved I’m all ears)

[curioussubjects]

Ok so I have some spnwin-spn connection spec I wanna share with y'all from back when @alwaysanoriginal were spiraling over some interview about The Winchesters (as we do). The second to last question is about John's journal being created, which of course made me think of plot hole vampmimes. Of course.

Or maybe not so plothole-y?

That was mostly a joke, though I did hope tonight was going to maybe for the lolz address that. Well, little did I know because that old convo continued with this:

DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYTHING YOU WATCHED TONIGHT

DOES IT

Char, then, decided to come for me in the night and point out that the Running on Empty montage in 19 has some pretty choice scenes featuring Changing Channels, Wayward Sisters and the AU rift, Dean time traveling, and The Heroes' Journey (which I always argued was essentially the intended finale metaphorically).

Side note: sorry to expose y'all to my private ravings lol

A lot of this actually comes back to a point Billie made in s15 about Chuck building reality with himself at the center to keep it ticking. So how can you possibly beat him? By letting him think he won. I can't help but remember that delightful line from Dean in s12: "‘Cause we’re not trapped out here with you. You’re trapped out here with us." You know, that one time Dean and Sam pulled a death gambit to escape a black ops site.

But back to The Winchesters: last week we had Carlos refusing to play Loki's game (a god who can affect reality, or one's perception thereof) and winning. But to do so, he had to put his life on the line. He had to be willing to lose everything. By the way, I am once again feeling very emotional about Carlos saying he sacrificed everything for hunting, but he gained so much more because that's it! That's the thing! So yeah...cue Carlos singing Hard Times Come Again No More to his family.

This week John is the one with the seemingly inescapable fate of death (courtesy of vampires because of course), and while he doesn't tap out of the game, he realizes he knows nothing about the context of what he saw. He only got half the story, and the rest was up to him. It's appropriate, too, that this week we get another Supernatural classic with Mary reassuring John that they will find another way. And yeah, John does and wins.

And, I mean, if we're talking fate and god and gambles, why not remember a nifty piece of advice Sam and Dean received from Fortuna in The Gamblers: “Don’t play his game. Make him play yours.”

My point is if we look at 19 and 20 much like we would a vision from an amulet, none of the plot of Supernatural needs to change. It's fated. But as Millie says, and John says, and Dean say: fate is what you make it. And if The Winchesters is about how Sam and Dean became the Winchesters, then what else is this show but the context we've been missing all along.

(send this man to stan jail tbh)

[also what is more Winchester stupid than the cosmic consequences of saving your family...like...say...releasing the Darkness or...causing an Akrida infestation...though who knows that could've been on purpose for reasons. I'm putting nothing past spnwin.]

Don't ask me how Dean goes from pulling a death gambit to get into heaven to time travelling to tweak with his parents' past. We're through the looking glass here people and we'll simply have to wait and see -- but the puzzle is for sure getting less mysterious. Something free will, knowledge, family, and Growth, something. Therapy. You know, The Winchesters.

Or I'm totally off the mark and I'll have egg for face who's to say, but for now, as a treat, I'm feeling very

[seerofmike]

mike's media medley--March 2024

yo whats up. so at the end of the year i do a top 7 ranking of my fave movies released that year and a top 7 ranking of video games i played that year (regardless of release date) which is VERY fun and im still gonna do it but!

there are a lot of things that i like that don't make the cut that i would like to talk about...and things that i did not like that i would also like to talk about. so i will be doing a post every month about *all* the movies i watched for the first time, including older movies and new releases, same for games i played for the first time. and occasionally a book if i can manage it. it is taking me one billion years to read The Plague

here are some things i watched and played for the very first time this march:

(thoughts below the cut. minor spoilers)

starting off in alphabetical order with:

Good Time (2017)

i watched Uncut Gems a couple of years ago and I actually didn't remember the directors' name(s) for that movie, so when I watched Good Time i was like damn that made me feel like Uncut Gems. im gonna check out more of these guys' movies. lo and behold

i think overall Uncut Gems made me feel more stressed, but Good Time made me feel more bad for basically everyone involved but Robert Pattinson's character and watching this dude just make awful decisions and treat other people like shit was like. so nasty feeling. i would like to watch more.

i liked the directing of this movie but i liked Uncut Gems's better. not to keep comparing the two but theyre made by the same people with the same like. goals of being a fucking Stress Simulator. i did love robert pattinson's performance which i won't compare to adam sandler's in Uncut Gems because even though they're both the driving forces of their movies they're both pretty different characters and even if i thought pattinson's character was slimy and just like a shite fucking person i think he did a good enough job expressing the desperation of getting the hell outta there with his brother. the emotional hook was There but i wish it was explored slightly more so i could be a bit more invested in seeing how he makes everything worse.

overall decent. i did like it. would maaaaaybe watch again but not like regularly. 70/100. also if you think 70 is a low score it is Not. it is a good score. just putting that out there before someone takes 70/100 to mean i think something is bad (<- damage control for a later score)

next:

Late Night with the Devil (2024)

this movie has like 10 FUCKING COMPANIES CREDITED AT THE BEGINNING when i saw it in theaters by the time it got to like the 7th one everyone in my theater was exasperatedly saying 'oh my god'

but once the movie gets started. oh hell fucking yeah

i didn't watch any trailers for this or love lies bleeding (i dont rly watch trailers in gen tbh) so idk if the trailer conveyed that this would be set up as like...a lost TV episode, complete with bumpers and brief sponsor mentions, 'behind the scenes footage' etc, but regardless i did not know that going in and you can imagine my utter fucking delight when the movie started playing and after a minute or two i realized the gimmick

i REALLY liked this movie. i thought it was appropriately cheesy for a talkshow hosted in the 70s and i liked some of the subtle moments you really only catch on rewatch (which i did rewatch it w/ my mom), like how the doctor says abraxas thrives on the attention of an audience and the whole time lily is trying to stare directly into the cameras smiling.

the ending is really fucking cool and the mystery unraveling through the supernatural occurrences was compelling. i thought most of the actors did a pretty good job. im not really a fan of demon possession stuff for very personal reasons but i stuck it out for the concept which i really did enjoy.

that being said i found out shortly after i watched this movie that they used AI art for some of the bumpers and i was legitimately so disappointed. there was clearly a talented production team working on this thing to ensure the 70s night talkshow vibe was maintained and they couldn't get one of them to do bumpers, or hire an artist?

it really sucks. i dont want to rag too harshly on smaller indie filmmakers for doing this when big players in every industry are forcibly trying to incorporate AI into their stuff so i won't be review bombing the movie like ive seen some do in response--which i *get*, and i hope the team takes that as a sign to just hire a fucking artist next time--but it did kind of sour the movie for me despite how much i enjoyed it.

so im docking 5 points for the AI art and im also docking 5 points for the 10 companies credited in the beginning because that just makes the AI art feel more egregious to me.

75/100. maybe if they release the movie on shudder with the AI art removed they'll get their 5 points back

next:

Love Lies Bleeding (2024)

everybody in this movie is so fucking sweaty and grimy and everything looks kind of dirty and like it smells like sweat and deodorant and tbh i kind of dig it. especially when next to the cleaner 'aesthetic' version of the 70s presented in Late Night with the Devil

but man this movie was really good. i dont want to spoil it too much but PLEASE go watch it. its decently horny so if you dont like that sort of thing Sawi but if you can look past that its so fucking weird and like strangely funny when it shouldnt be (but is definitely trying to be, so its not like unintentional humor, maybe more like morbid humor?) and theres horror and fantastical elements that you simply arent expecting and my theater screamed at the ending. please go watch it. truly the epitome of i support womens rights AND womens wrongs. honestly i could go on about this movie but i will not right now because you WILL go watch it in theaters NEOW

85/100

next:

Spirited Away (2001)

okay im gonna be really blunt and rip the bandaid off with this one. i just thought it was Fine

like obviously the animation is stellar but that was about it for me. maybe i listened to this movie get hyped as one of the best animated films ever and set my expectations absurdly high but i watched it and i enjoyed it but i wasn't like...blown away or struck with Whimsy And Wonder or overcome with emotion.

i do think some of the characters were charming and it was entertaining and i dont want it to sound like i didnt like the movie but i guess i just felt underwhelmed? i might rewatch it another time with my expectations readjusted and see if i enjoy it more but when i watched it and the credits rolled i just went 'oh okay. was that it?'

anyways 70/100

viddy game time

(the) gnorp apologue--

she gnorp on my rock until i shard

funny clicky idle game . it is NOT an idle game where you can just buy all the upgrades and 'win', theres some strategy involved, but its honestly a really funny game. theres breaking bad references in there. in fact there are all kinds of references in there. you should go play it for the low low price of just over 5 dollars

minami lane--

so i will say first i am not like an avid player of 'cozy' games and find a lot of them pretty boring but i did really enjoy this one. it's a short city builder game with a really cute art-style. it has a sandbox mode (which i havent played) but it also has about five challenges to complete with multiple objectives and i had a good time trying to 100% them all. i would love if they added more challenges but tbh! it's not a bad way to spend about 3-4 hours of your time. im sure if you play sandbox mode you'd get even more but honestly i was satisfied with doing the challenges. it's just under 5 bucks there are definitely worse ways to spend your money.

if you've read this whole thing i love u. feel free to use this post as an opportunity to recommend me movies, tv shows, and games you think i should check out.

[aces-nook]

Alhaitham x Kaveh

Fluff

*It’s just notes rn calm down >:o

By: ♠𝕬𝖈𝖊♠

 So start out with Kaveh walking home without his keys because yes

 Sees old man kicking a dog (it’s a Pit-bull we need more love for those babies) he get insanely mad and ends up taking the dog because the man didn’t want it anyway

 He takes it to his SHARED home without thinking a tbh purely out of rage and empathy for this random dog

 Well immediately when he gets home in the rain btw no key he’s locked out and has to knock on the door to his own house absolutely wild crazy

 So Alhaitham opens the door to kaveh holding this 60 pound dog in his arms like it’s an infant both with large puppy dog eyes kaveh pleading “can we keep him pleaaaseee” I mean my boy hasn’t even sad yes or no yet but kaveh is ready to get on his knees (NO.) and beg to keep this dog he hasn’t known for 10 minutes

 Ultimately with little begging AlHaitham says yes (as he should) since its kinda late at night though so they cant everything it need or even wash it yet. So they bring it in and just go to sleep.

 They sleep peacefully the dog makes no noise the entire night and just sleeps

 In the morning the dog greets Haitham because it kinda knows kaveh and want to be friends with Haitham to. So it does that chin rest thing right on Haitham’s side of the bed effectively scaring the living shit out of him my boy forgot he allowed this beast into his house. I mean he audibly gasps in shock. Ofc he quickly composes himself though remember who were dealing with here.

 They wash the dog and kaveh in the process he was not happy with cuz he literally just did his makeup. The disrespect of this dog is insane. They go around Sumeru and shop for their new doggy and get lots of new toys food etc for their new baby. ( this dog is completely spoiled)

 When they get home again they try and call the dog over to look at its new stuff but realized the dog has no name.

 They go through the insanely long process of names(they are looking in a book btw), ew no, how about name, wtf bro that name sucks. Wash and repeat. Some names included: Walter, Duke, Horace spots, etc. Eventually they come across the name duke they both like the name and think its perfect for their new doggo. As Kaveh grows closer to duke they have a kind of aggressive yet playful relationship. Haitham on the other hand kinda distances himself from duke so it really just the dam dog tryna mosey his way into his heart. He would follow Haitham EVERY WHERE

 When Haitham is reading duke would make sure to be with him laying on his lap and trying to cuddling with him. In the beginning duke would try to interrupt Haitham for pets but Haitham was having none of it and duke understood very quickly that it would never happen. But now unbeknownst to Haitham himself he has softened up to duke and sometimes while reading he would give hime little rubs o his head.

 Haitham would also give him snacks and play with him lots but never when kaveh is around he we would never want to admit that he liked duke. He has almost been caught multiple times like while giving him a homemade snack literally made by Haitham himself Kaveh would come into the kitchen for food and Haitham would play off as giving him scraps from his own food that would otherwise go to waste. I swear kaveh would go off cuz he thinks Haitham is just giving duke random shit that could make him sick.

 Eventually kaveh catches him full on cuddling with duke and there no hiding it. Haitham has grown attached to this dog

[vaugarde]

✨❤️✂️🧠 for all of team starfall!!!

KJDL:GJFDL:GJDFL:GJDFLGFDG EVE OMG YAY

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

-skylar: tbh i just thought skylar was a really pretty name and wanted it for one of my characters at the time. i coulddd change it to something that has more meaning that aligns with their character but uhhhh their original name within the story kinda does that anyways i think dfklsdf. im attached at this point

-asha: *hangs my head low* i saw it in wings of fire and thought it was cute. ok but for real i decided it for asha after looking up the meaning, which is "life" which sounds broad but considering her story is about how she and certain antagonists are not sure if she deserves life at all? is fitting

-valerie: another name that i just thought was cute. you can see a theme here. but the word valerie is often associated w fairies and mermaids, at least when i checked it was, and valerie is both! so on a superficial level it works

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

skylar: they would tell you that taking down their first ultra beast with little experience was one, or unlocking their psychic powers- it made them feel on top of the world- but their real best memories was one evening after a particularly harsh day- they and asha had been targeted again and struggled to find a place to heal- everything slowed down. this was earlier in their travels, and both were panicked children who didn't Quite gel at first. skylar was even planning on running off if it meant they wouldn't get attacked. but that night, they were prepared to sleep off their injuries until asha went out and got them food, and came back with that and a warm blanket they'd taken. asha put the blanket around them, making sure they were comfortable, and pat their head until they were nearly asleep. though it was still restrained since asha didn't want to get too close and hurt skylar, it was one of the first moments of intimacy skylar could remember. that was when they realized they wanted to stay with asha despite their differences and situation.

asha: castor taking them out to see the stars at around age 8 after a really stressful day where she shut down, almost glitched out and couldn't talk to anyone because they were just afraid they'd break. she felt humiliated and self hating because this happened at school. castor, wanting to help her feel better, flew her up to the clouds and they searched the night sky for all of the other planets and stars out of their reach. the whole time, asha was wrapped in his wings, trying to show her that he wasn't afraid of her despite her condition being contact-based, as well as give her physical comfort. it's part of why the night sky is so important to her, it's one of her core memories.

valerie: marlow deciding that it'd be good for her to know her water type roots around age 10 and taking her on a small trip through the ocean's edge and rivers through serenade falls, including letting her play behind serenade's popular waterfall. since marlow would often have to work hard to support them, it was a beautiful day where the two of them could just bond and be normal siblings for a day, and it was also when valerie could just explore and find new things for a day.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

skylar: it's hard for them to place. most of their memories are gone, and only a few vague ones appear to them in the form of dreams. but they would consider those dreams nightmares. the worst one they can barely describe, is of their own body being stretched and strained while hearing a voice crying in either anger or sadness, until they came apart entirely.

asha: being separated from her family. it was the first time she was really, truly, all alone. and not only that, she was trapped in an unfamiliar world with no guidance or comfort, and they were being hunted by... someone. multiple people. things. everyone was out for her. it's not a memory she likes to reflect on.

valerie: trying to perform on her own for some time without marlow's help, believing so hard- even with her condition, she could perform moves fine, so she'd be okay, right? and for a while, she was. but she wore herself out hard. she ended up being bedridden while her aura stabilized, missing the winter solstice festival that year. the guilt on marlow's face haunts her to this day.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

skylar- oh the main thing i love about them is a. big spoiler JLKSDJFLSDJFDSF but otherwise!! i really enjoy thinking about their backstory and how it's affected them to the present. they're very similar to valerie in a lot of ways (to a point i might have to tweak them further actually) in that they've been restrained for so long that they just revel in the fact that they can just... do whatever they want. be free. not hold anything back. it takes them a bit to realize, what with the amnesia, but by the time valerie enters the picture, they're a chaotic force to be messed with!

asha- oh i will project onto her so hard. ok for real i am just a sucker for characters that are stoic, blunt, and lonesome to a fault but have a kind spot that shines through, and theyre like that because of a wall theyve put up that has to be lowered with time. asha starts off the story as a very jaded person who hates herself to the point that if she didnt fear death so much, she would have just let it consume her. but their story is about them learning to love themself as they are and take control of their life and let them seek out things that make them happy, and realize how she's impacted the lives of those around her. idk shes very special to me and i love her sm...

valerie- BY FAR it is her optimism combined w her insecurities. omg. first of all her joyful personality is so fun to write, and it's not a front or anything, she's not inconsiderate like princely is in BoP's beginning, she's just someone who loves the people in her life, loves the world around her, and wants to be a positive influence for everyone. the problem that comes with that though... is that she's a doormat. she doesn't often get what SHE wants because she's just giving and giving and giving. she doesn't think she doesn't deserve to take, necessarily, but the opportunity just isn't there a lot of the time. the few times she's reached out to try and get what she wants most- an adventure around the world- it's been squandered somehow. whether she gets denied an escort request or someone in her life puts the idea down because "you're too frail for that! it'd be better for you and everyone to sit still". i don't like, LOVE that ofc but it just makes her feel very real to me. i think she's admirable and its understandable to me how she changes throughout starfall... and in the end, still decides to be a positive influence, now being able to stand up for herself and getting the aide she needs.

[foggyparadisecandy]

[Trauma dumping - scroll on by if you are looking for horny stuff]

I know, I know ... another one. I'm just purging it out as fast as I can. Catharsis in a public blog. Why not?

This one in particular is written for my ex-partner even though I know she won't read it. I just have to play pretend to feel remotely good about things.

Hey D - I want to start off and say that I love you, I care about you, and I forgive you for anything and everything. Please remember that you can always reach back out to me.

Yeah, what you did was pretty shitty tbh. But ... it's ok. I mean ... yeah ... do better. Good people do shitty things on occasion and IDK.

Maybe I'm way off base but everything points to a horrible trauma response. I could be wrong. I don't think so though.

Either way, who gives a shit at this point. I forgive you and the point of this letter is to ask that you don't use your treatment of me or us to beat yourself up.

It hurt. It still hurts. It probably will hurt for awhile but I'm going to come back stronger than I was before so, in the end, it will be a net positive for me. Except for losing you. That ... really ... is awful tbh.

I've told you how much you brightened my life in other letters so I'm moving past that one here. Let's talk about me for a moment and where I'm at and where I'm heading so you can feel like "hey ... Foggy is going to be ok ... I didn't permanently harm him and it seems like he's actually doing well."

And let's really quiet that subconscious that makes you want to feel bad - at least on this particular issue. It's all going to be better than fine for me in the end. I know that and you should feel ok about me.

I've made a lot of new friends who have been very kind and accommodating to my pain. You know I'm a curious dude and it's been very interesting to hear so many stories from other people. Love it.

I've reconnected with some old friends - online and in RL. I've got a pretty full social calendar these days which is a first in ... a loooong time. Pretty ironic considering how much I was always telling you to build connections and my own were thin.

I've started working out. It's only been 7 weeks and I'm doing pretty freaking good tbh. I started doing pushups and planks every time I thought of you but ... that got exhausting fast ... you are always on my mind lol. So I cut back to 30 minutes per day.

I've had it out with my wife about everything. Well ... not exactly everything but most things. I'm not sure where that goes but I know I don't want to go back to a boring status quo situation. You opened my eyes to a new way to exist and I want more, not less. It'll be ok either way - I know that for sure.

I've lost 8 pounds in 7 weeks. This one isn't really a blessing lol. I couldn't eat or hold food down for the first five weeks. Only really started eating again recently. But it is what it is. I wasn't heavy at all but I'm happier thinner so ... a win?

I've ... mostly ... started to be able to sleep through the nights again. For the longest time, the most I could sleep was 3 or 4 hours then wake and could not drift back off. I still ... am struggling ... a bit. Woke up the other morning at 4 am crying. That wasn't fun. But it's rare lately and I'm guessing will be gone soon enough. Not sure if this is a win or if it's me just feeling sorry for myself. I'm guessing the latter but I'm leaving it in here because it *is* better than it was early on so it's progress.

I've started therapy to figure out why I chase after helping others (mostly women) to fill the sad little hole in my soul. Actually ... I already know why. You know all the shit with my mom and ... yeah ... I'm working on it. Trying to get healthy for the first time since I was a ten year old kid. Kind of silly that it took you breaking up with me for me to figure this stuff out. It is really breaking me down to realize my life since ten has been so fucked up with trauma. Can you imagine not clearing your trauma away for that long? Can you imagine that? I hope not. Did you get that hint? I hope so.

I've refocused on work for the first time in a decade. I've set some huge fucking goals. I want to hit it big and I've given my team through the end of next year. I'm going to do it and then I'm going to fuck off from work and shift my priorities to something else - something more fulfilling. It's still to early but I want to take some of those self-improvement things we did together and do something with them for others. I'm using them on myself so I can see how they work and where they need to be fine-tuned. We'll see how it all goes.

I'm trying to figure out what makes me genuinely happy. All of my belief systems have been shattered tbh. I ... don't know yet if that's bad or good or just is what it is. I don't know anything atm about love or happiness or fulfillment or ... anything. I'm still more than a bit lost. You untethered me from everything I knew about myself. I'm not saying this is a bad thing ... I'm saying ... I don't know what comes next. Knowing me, it's going to be fucking great and better than it was. I've always been pretty good at solving problems and making great things happen for myself and those around me (as you know).

I'm doing my best to be kind to myself. I am not sure when the last time I was kind to myself was. I honestly can't remember when I've had a decent thing to say about myself. It's always been "do better" "be better" stuff. I'm working on it as fast as I can. Beating yourself up is an awful way to live. Not sure why I need your splitting on me to figure that out.

I have realized ... despite everything ... I am a good and decent and kind person. I lost sight of that for a hot minute there. I'm not perfect. Hah. Nope. But I do the best I can and I am quick to take steps to change up when I know I've fucked up. But yeah ... I'm good and decent and kind. I know those things now better than I ever have.

And ... you are good too. I know it deep down in my soul.

I see it in you. You are not your father. Far from it.

And you didn't permanently hurt me here. Lots of good will come from this. Believe it. Thank you for everything.

And I believe good things will happen for you. I have full faith in you.

I am no longer in a position to tell you what to do but ... please work on your trauma. For your own sake. And find a new path in life. I know you feel like your current job is your life but ... that job will bring you nothing but misery and sorrow and trauma and damage.

You deserve better. You know that. Deep down, you know everything we shared showed you a different path.

You deserve far better.

You might need to go through some pain to get on a new path but I know who you are. I know you are a fighter and know how to get shit done. You can and will do it. Start planning. Start doing.

And legit ... I'm still here and willing to boost you along in life.

I've always wanted one thing: to see you reach your full potential. It's amazing. The world is waiting to see it.

One final thing that I have discovered and honestly I feel really good about this one - even if you never reach out again:

I love you sincerely and wish nothing but the best.

[twilight-orchid]

How The Demon Brothers React After Fighting With Their SO

tw: some angst with resolution at the end, mentions of past arguments, insecurity.

Lucifer:

This man is petty as hell.

He doesn’t do the silent treatment, but he acts like you aren’t dating.

If you need to work on something together, you’re a co-worker.

At RAD you’re a classmate.

Around the house you’re just a housemate.

His poker face is immaculate and it will not crack when you’re around.

If someone didn’t know what was happening, they’d probably think you two barely knew each other.

However, you won’t notice, but as soon as you look the other way his eyes are on you.

He’s used to arguing with his brothers and is no stranger to explosive fights that end with he and the other person not being on speaking terms.

But you’re different.

He tries to go on with business as usual, but he can’t think about anything other than how much he misses you.

Yet, he lets it continue because he just can’t put his pride aside and apologize.

If you decide to sleep in your old room it’ll both hurt his feelings and royally piss him off.

He thinks you’re being childish and will be pretty rude about it, but that’s because internally his blood just ran cold.

It adds a degree of seriousness to the argument that he’s uncomfortable with.

Yes he’s mad, but he can’t lose you.

If you still sleep in his bed, he makes sure to scoot over to the very edge so he doesn’t cuddle you in his sleep.

In fact, the first night after the argument he’d probably put a pillow between you just to really punctuate the fact that he’s still upset.

I’d say it could go 4 days to a week tops without you making up.

After a point though, he just can’t function until the issue is resolved. He can’t sleep, he’s falling behind on his work, and he’s just generally not doing well.

You get called to his office one night and find him at his desk surrounded by piles of paper, disheveled and exhausted.

“MC, come sit down. I’d like to talk this through. Please.”

Mammon:

He’s so dramatic.

You dare defy him? The Great Mammon can’t believe this tiny fragile human would have the audacity.

The theatrics are just a front though.

His ‘The Great Mammon’ act is a mask for his insecurity, one he hasn’t had to use with you in awhile.

Even as the words leave his mouth he regrets them.

He’s going to be very uncomfortable with everything until the argument is resolved, but most of all himself.

He’s learned not to take his brothers too seriously when they toss insults his way, but words have a way of morphing to belief over time.

Internally he is going to be super hard on himself. 

Regardless of if the fight was his fault or not, he’s going to kick himself constantly for making yet another mistake.

He’s over the argument pretty fast. The anger quickly melts into anxiety.

Are you going to leave him? Do you hate him? Did he hurt your feelings? 

That being said, he doesn’t know if you’re still mad and he doesn’t know how to ask. 

As a defense mechanism, he defaults to how he treated you when you first arrived in the devildom.

Calls you human, disregards you, stuff like that.

If you decide to sleep in another room, before midnight expect him to be knocking on the door.

“Oi, MC. You awake? I just - I can’t - *sigh* Can we talk about this?”

If you sleep in his bed, he makes a point of sleeping with his back to you.

Less because he’s actually mad and more because he doesn’t want his image of you as he drifts to sleep to be a look of anger.

Though as soon as he passes out he’ll roll over and tuck you into his arms on instinct.

I’d say any after effects of an argument with Mammon would be resolved in a day, maybe two tops.

Leviathan:

Arguing activates his trolling the forums mode.

Goes back to calling you a normie and contradicts everything you say.

He’s less mad about the argument and more using the bitterness to cope with how upset he is.

He feels like a break up is less of an if and more of a when.

Why would someone as amazing as you settle for weird otaku like him?

Honestly doesn’t understand why you’re with him in the first place, so when there’s a serious argument he assumes its over.

Tbh don’t know how you and Levi would sleep together being that I doubt two could fit in a tub, but any deviation to your routine sends him into a panic.

It’s his reality check that the situation is serious and he needs to fix it NOW.

He’d have trouble apologizing in person. He can’t think of what to say, he stumbles over his words, and he feels like he’s on the verge of a panic attack.

Instead, expect a long ass text message.

He says how sorry he is, how much he misses and loves you, and legit begs you to forgive him.

If you sleep with him like normal, he’ll probably try to make up after laying there for awhile. His mind is going a million miles an hour and there’s no way he can sleep.

Still really has trouble verbalizing how he feels, so give the poor boy a break and take over the conversation.

He hasn’t had a serious relationship before and he doesn’t know what he should do to make it better.

So the after effects will last however long it takes him to read several mangas, watch some anime, and play a few games to see how the characters get over arguments in the story.

Satan:

Satan makes sure not to fight with you over minor issues.

He’s worked tirelessly to tame his wrath and he refuses to feed into it over a minor issue.

Thus, if you fight with Satan it’s a major argument and it’s explosive.

The aftermath isn’t much better.

He doesn’t want to risk blowing up again, so he’s frighteningly calm.

He’s an absolute master of the silent treatment.

He won’t say a word to you until he’s certain he’s calmed down enough.

For the first few days he’ll straight up leave a room if you enter.

For a good while the only way you can expect to communicate with him is through his body language and the expression in his eyes.

Satan’s biggest fear is losing control and lashing out at you. 

He couldn’t live with himself if he hurt you and he can’t stand the thought of you being afraid of him. 

He’s a whirlwind of emotions, so he isolates himself until he can figure out how to deal with it.

Not just from you, but from everyone else too. 

Satan will not share a bed with you for at least the first night.

If he got worked up enough to actually fight, it’s gonna take him time to simmer down.

And he’d rather not risk doing or saying something he regrets in the meantime.

Once he’s ready, he’ll approach you when he’s completely calmed down and has thoroughly analyzed the situation.

He’s considered both of your sides, tried to pinpoint what caused the disagreement to turn into a fight, and made a plan of action to prevent it from happening again.

“MC? I’ve been thinking quite a bit about what happened. Would you please talk it through with me?”

He won’t apologize for the argument if he feels like he was right, but he will apologize for letting the disagreement escalate into a fight.

Satan could go weeks without making up if necessary, but he tries to resolve it within a couple of days.

Asmodeus:

Wants to give you the silent treatment, but is physically incapable.

He can’t stand to have you ignore him.

He’s the type to go back to normal then suddenly remembers you guys had a fight.

“Wait, no! I’m not talking to you! I’m mad at you!”

His biggest downfall is that he’s so stubborn.

If he thinks he was right, he will die on that hill.

There are arguments with his brothers that happened a thousand years ago and he could still tell you exactly why he was right.

But with you, he realizes that doesn’t matter too him nearly as much as it usually does.

If it means going back to normal, he’ll forget who’s right or wrong.

If you sleep in another room, he’s beyond offended.

“What?! Well fine! I don’t want you in my bed anyway!”

Laying in bed alone is a different story though.

He can’t sleep. All he can think about is you. Your face when you sleep next to him, your smell, the feeling of his arms around you.

He 100% cries.

Finally goes and knocks on your door with wet, glossy eyes.

“MC? Can we talk about this? I can’t get my beauty sleep and my tears are wiping off all of my skin care lotion!”

Will throw himself into your arms before you can answer.

If you sleep next to him still, he rolls over and watches you sleep.

It puts him at peace and he decides seeing your sweet, resting face every morning is worth more to him than the argument.

He’ll initiate the conversation the next morning.

I think Asmo could make it a few days if it was a really serious argument, but he will not function well until you make up.

Beelzebub:

Wants to make up immediately.

He doesn’t like to argue, even less so with you.

Whether he was right or wrong, he blames himself. He’ll take all the blame in the world if it makes you happy.

He’ll go make you your favorite food and bring it to you.

If he thinks you don’t want to talk to him, he’ll leave it outside your door and text you to let you know it’s there.

He’s honestly devastated if you decide to sleep in another room.

You guys migrate to your old room when you want privacy from Belphie, but you almost never sleep separately.

Seeing you grab your pillows and march out of the room nearly stops his heart.

He goes completely numb and silent as he just stares at the space you had just occupied.

Like Levi, he thinks this means the relationship is over and he genuinely does not know what to do with himself.

He can’t even bring himself to eat, he just wants to lie there, lost and trying to grapple with his emotions. 

He’s another one who will absolutely cry, but unlike Asmo he will make sure no one knows it.

If you still sleep in his bed, he’s very nervous about it.

He doesn’t know if it’s okay to touch you, what he can or can’t say, stuff like that.

He just lays there stiff as a board not even able to close his eyes.

Honestly the fight would probably have to be resolved before bed. His anxiety just can’t take it.

I don’t think he’d initiate the apology. Not because he doesn’t want to make up but because his confidence is rock bottom in these situations.

He catastophizes and honestly thinks you hate him.

If you don’t initiate the apology soon, Belphie will. He can feel what his twin won’t say, and he knows Beel won’t approach you about it for fear of making it worse.

Belphie will lock you two in a room if that’s what it takes for you to make up.

Belphegor:

The embodiment of if looks could kill.

He won’t talk to you, won’t look at you, basically pretends you aren’t there.

If he must interact with you he’ll roll his eyes and sigh the whole time.

Tries to sleep through any interaction so he doesn’t have to deal with it.

He feels almost betrayed by the fight.

He thought the relationship was stronger than to have such a huge divide, so he’s really insecure about it.

After the first day, the anger has melted away to guilt.

He ‘s not guilty that you fought, but he is guilty about how he treated you after.

Guilt and self-blame have become unwelcome friends at this point. Guilt over Lilith, over his plans to destroy the human world, everything.

But more than anything else, the guilt for the fact that he attacked you weighs on him every day.

He moved past it quickly after, essentially pretending he hadn’t killed you, but that’s because he just couldn’t confront what he’d done. 

He feels like the luckiest demon alive that you forgave him, let alone  opened you heart enough to love him, and now it’s all in tatters.

Another thing to regret.

If you decide to sleep separately, it’ll hit him like a bag of bricks.

“You - what? Where are you going?” 

It’ll take him a second to process what you were doing, but then he’ll roll over and let you leave.

“Fine. Don’t let the door hit you.”

No one will see him for awhile. 

Belphie sleeps all the time anyway, but he just can’t make himself get out of bed.

If you don’t approach him to apologize, Beel will tell you that he’s been nauseous and randomly emotional which must mean his twin is coping very badly. 

Will beg you to go make Belphie happy again. 

If you sleep in his bed still, the argument will be resolved by morning.

He can’t keep himself from embracing you in his sleep, and it’s hard to say you’re mad at someone when you wake up in their loving arms.

It’s hard to pinpoint how long it could last with Belphie. If you don’t apologize first, he won’t let himself be conscious long enough to approach you.

This is both my first hc post as well as my first obey me post so I’m sorry if le boys are ooc. I just got this idea and couldn’t stop thinking about it so here we are.  Especially Belphie, he was hard to me for some reason. Let me know if you guys agree or disagree and if you want to send a request or ask, my box is open! 

[treason-and-plot]

REPLIES TO ROY’S ADVICE TO SONIA

@izayoichan​

I believe... equilibrium was just shattered.. into like a million pieces, in that short talk

@justanothersimsblog​

She had a heart attack

@percosim​

hopefully Violet will be home soon lol

Poor Violet though....once again she’ll be mopping up the mess!!

@streetlites​

The angry eyebrow is back!

@echoweaver​

Can't quit when you're ahead, eh Roy?

He wouldn’t be Roy if he knew how to do that!

@xldkx​

roy PLEASE

@windermeresimblr​

Oh my god Roy. Foot, meet mouth.

Oh, he knew exactly what he was doing!

@enable--llamas​

Oh my god, she's gonna find a way to end him through the phone, isn't she? :D

@ktarsims​

I mean, I realize he’s partly rubbing it in to make himself feel better and victorious after his abysmal night… which Sonia doesn’t even know about… but… WOW, Roy. Sonia’s freshly gained equilibrium is definitely going to vanish… TBH, this conversation would even upset me… even if this wasn’t my Ex and I didn’t have any cares about his new girl.

I’d be more irate about a stranger choosing clothes for my daughter tbh than any snide comment my ex made about my fashion sense. But Roy certainly knows how to push Sonia’s buttons. She’s right, he truly is evil!  (At least sometimes!)

@batsheba​

OMG, Roy... really?! He should drop Henrietta a bock away for safety reasons...

Lolol yeah...even if Apollo is going to be waiting at the gate, Sonia could be waiting on the roof with a sniper rifle!

@muses-circle​

Oof. Damn, Roy, was that necessary? 🤪

@stsciurus​

Roy puts the "ass" in "asshole". 😂

@thickness1988​

Roy is about to get Sonia’s hands when he drop Henrietta

Oh, it’s so lovely to see you around again!!! And yeah, Roy had better sleep with one eye open for a very long time, lol!

@gifappels-stuff​

🤣🤣🤣 this is brilliant!! Damn Roy playing with the lion's nutsack now. Thanks for the fun read!

Thanks for the beautiful visual!!! 🤣🤣🤣

@sweetnovember77​

F*ck No! While some limitations can be stretched, there are points beyond which no amount of training, adjusting, modifying or educating can reasonably alter a boundary.

@zosa95​

Savage 🙈😆

@whyhellosims​

ROY XD OMG! He knew she was already mad and threw all caution to the wind! And all I can say is BAHAHAHAA XD

@wannabecatwriter​

Roy is seriously crossing the line here, but when doesn't he do it?

The line is just a distant speck on the horizon to Roy at this point, lol!

@mosneakers​

Roy noooooo 😅

@mosneakers​

Also Sonia always looks good so I hope she doesn’t take that too personally although I bet that won’t be the case!

Awwww, that’s lovely of you to say! She does have a classic, if understated, style. When she met Violet I remember a few people did express the wish that Violet might help her dress a little less conservatively, however. 

@owly-sims​

ROY! Go jump in the deep end you goober 🤦‍♀️

Heh!! I see what you did there!

@drudragonrose​

*gets the shovel ready and some lye*

@sweetpyxels​

Oh no Roy ! He just destroyed whatever calmness Sonya had acquired : D Still love him though. Roy♥

@lilsisterg​

Shots Fired!!! Goo Gawd

@winifredwoogie​

Roy is such a turd 😂

@dynastiasimss​

ROY! LOL 😂🤣

@anamoon63​

Ouch! There goes Sonia's restored peace of mind. Was that necessary, Roy? 🤔

@city-mouse​

Wow. I know he just loooves to push her buttons but... Well, you liked her/her wardrobe/her boobs/whatever, really to stay married to her for a number of years so joke's on you, honey, actually! Save your angry eyebrows the overtime, Sonia! :D

The fact is that Roy would hardly ever have noticed what Sonia wore, only what her boobs looked like! But his sole purpose here was to wind her up, and it was quite a low blow because he knew she was already smarting about him bringing Anya to the house. So Roy being Roy he had to rub salt into the wound. And then squeeze lemon juice over it...

[djarrex]

Just For Kicks

Kix needs more love tbh so here’s a Kix oneshot ;)

| masterlist |

Pairing: Kix x Fem!Reader 

Rating: Explicit. 18+ 100%

Word Count: about 4.1k (GAH I didn’t mean for it to be this long oops)

Warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption, vaginal fingering, oral (f receiving), piv, cumshot, aftercare, lil but of fluff

Summary: You frequent 79′s, and you usually turn away advances from the clones. Kix tries his luck, and you indulge him. He excuses himself to the ‘fresher, and when he comes back, things take a happy turn. 

***

A night at 79′s was always the same. There were soldiers dancing with twi’leks to the steady thumping of the blaring music; the vibrations of the bass hummed deep in your chest. There were always rounds of Sabacc being played in the corner, and arm wrestling matches to showcase who was stronger (even though they’re all clones of the same man?). You always sat at the bar when you came alone, enjoying shots of your favorite whiskey. You weren't one for those neon fruity drinks that your friends always ordered.

You tilted your head back to down your first shot, then not-so-gently set the glass on the counter. The droid manning the bar swiftly exchanged your empty glass for another full one. You were a regular, and these bar droids might as well have had your usual drink of choice ingrained in their programming. 

“Her next shot is on me.” A familiar voice, one that you’ve heard hundreds of times, came from your right. Downing yet another shot of your favorite golden liquid, you set the empty glass on the counter and signaled the bar droid for another. You’ve deflected advances from the clones quite a few times tonight already, but hey, what was one more? It never really annoyed you - getting hit on by these attractive soldiers - because you were the one who frequented their go-to hangout spot. It was expected, quite honestly. You pretty much ignored them - especially if they started off with a cliché pick-up line.

Realizing he was still in proximity even though you hadn’t looked over at him yet, you sighed, and decided to indulge him a little - you weren't one to turn down a free shot. What you didn't expect to find was him. Sure, his face was literally exactly like the hundred or so others that were crammed in 79′s, but there was something about him that caught you off guard. He had a genuine, sweet smile on his face that went straight to his eyes.  

You let your eyes scan his face. His head was shaved, but into zig zags that went off in different directions, resembling lighting bolts. The neon lights hit the left side of his head just right to where you could make out a phrase tattooed on his temple, extending a little further horizontally into the side of his head.

“A good droid is a dead one, huh? Clever.” He was leaned on the bar on one elbow, his sincere smile grew and his eyebrows raised, almost like your response was one he was not expecting. 

“You like that? Yeah... got it when I was just a shiny. Felt appropriate at the time.” He broke his leaning stance to pull out the barstool and sat down facing you. You downed the shot and let out an amused snort from your nostrils, keeping your eyes on his as you tried to get a reading on him. The soldier lifted his hand up to signal the droid while his eyes remained focused on yours. Out of your peripherals you saw the bar droid set two more shots down on the counter in front of your person. You glanced over and the two glasses of golden liquid, grabbed one, and handed it to him. He hesitated for a moment with a raised brow, but you nodded to him to take it. He obliged, and you grabbed the second shot for yourself. You looked down at the liquid.  

“Y’know, I’ve already turned down a few of your brothers tonight,” you said with a teasing tone, still looking down at the whiskey, swirling the shot around in the glass.

“Oh yeah? What makes me so lucky then?” It had to be the sparkle he had in his eyes. It was unlike any of his twins. You finally looked back up at him, and lifted your glass.

“I’m not sure.” You lied, but you definitely weren’t going to tell him. He copied your movement, raising up his glass. “Cheers.” Your glasses clinked, followed by the simultaneous downing of the warm liquid.

You crinkled your nose as it trickled down your throat. “Thanks for the shot - uh, what’s your name, soldier?” You felt a tad bit guilty - he bought you a drink and you hadn’t even asked for him name before guzzling it down.

“They call me Kix.” Short, simple, and to the point - better than some of these other troopers’ names. One time, you were hit on by a soldier whose name you swore had like five syllables in it. Couldn’t remember it if your life depended on it.

“Just for kicks, huh?” You poked at him. Kix’s hand flew behind his head, a sheepish smile crept on his lips.

“Ha... somethin’ like that.” You grinned, and countered with your own name.

Kix got the attention of the bar droid and ordered a drink you’d never heard of. When it was set down on the counter, you were glad to see it wasn't those neon fruity drinks you despised. You had never heard of that liquor before, but the color of it looked enticing. Kix seemed to have gotten a whiff of your curiosity, and ordered another one for yourself. Before you could tell him not to worry about it, a glass filled to the rim with identical dark liquid was set in front of you. You smiled and thanked him. Bringing the very full glass up to your lips, you took a nervous sip but was presently surprised by the taste. It didn’t burn as much as the whiskey, which could prove to be very dangerous if too much was consumed. 

You both sat in silence for a couple minutes, sipping your identical beverages, enjoying each others company. You eventually let your eyes wander to scan his whole figure; his armor was painted with that shade of blue you’ve seen on other troopers who’ve hit on you in the past - the same ones that sat in a booth behind him in the corner. You noticed a couple times that they were all looking in your direction, so you assumed Kix was with them and they were only checking to see how their brother was doing. You continued to scan his armor, trying not to be too obvious. You weren’t sure how you didn’t notice it before, but he sported a familiar red insignia that was painted on his left pauldron. 

"So you're a medic, huh? Must be a rough job.” He looked up from his drink with a half smile, nodding with confirmation, followed by a sigh.

“Actually, it must not be too rough of a gig if you have time to maintain all that,” you chuckled, your hands waving over your head, gesturing to the patterns shaved on his own. 

“It’s not too much maintenance.” He laughed, “I have my brothers’ help.” You nodded with understanding with the grin still plastered on your face.

“You talkin’ about them over there?” You tilted your head in the direction behind Kix; he turned around and caught the eyes of his brothers in the booth behind him. You jokingly waved at them, one of them with a dark goatee waved right back with a big smile on his face. Before Kix could ask, “I noticed they kept looking over here, and you all have the same shade of blue painted on your armor. Took an educated guess.” 

Kix began to tell you a few short stories of things that happened while in the field. You sat back and listened, the alcohol warming your ears. Some of the events he reminisced on were happy, successful missions - he also told you of a few close calls and how he had to hold his brothers as the light left their eyes, because there was nothing more he could do for them. He eventually apologized for talking only about him, but you waved it off; you were genuinely interested in his war stories. You were too busy shutting down other soldiers’ advances towards you that you never really heard of what they go through. Tomorrow isn’t promised for these soldiers.

He downed the last of his drink, and excused himself to the ‘fresher, promising to be right back. “Don’t go anywhere.” He teased. You watched him walk away; he purposefully took the route that was further away from booth were his lads sat and drank. At this point, you were totally drawn to him - there was definitely no threat of you going anywhere. The way he carried himself, that sparkle in his eyes, his sense of humor, the way he was so much more genuine than any of the other clones that came your way... 

***

You absolutely were not expecting your night at 79′s to go in the direction that it did. 

You invited Kix back to your apartment - you never thought you’d be bringing a clone back to your place, but crazier things have happened. 

At 79′s, while he was in the ‘fresher, you decided what you wanted. When he sat back down, you told him just that. His reaction was sweet, “I’d like that very much.”

So, here you both are, making out by your front door, having just closed it behind you. You acted first, throwing yourself at him as soon as you locked the door. He in no way minded, but he eventually took control and slammed you against the front door and let his hands trail all over you. You wished you could do the same, but he was still covered in all that damn plastoid. 

“Kix? Do you think you can take all this off?” Knocking on his armored chest like it was a door, you broke from his mouth, batting your eyelashes at him, hot breaths mingling with one another. He quickly obliged, and shed the plastoid pieces in no time, tossing them haphazardly to the left. 

Your mouths met again. Kix started licking along your bottom lip, requesting access inside your hot mouth. You gladly let him in, your breaths turned into quiet moans quicker than you could stop them. He tasted like your favorite whiskey; the taste somehow adding to your arousal and made you wetter than you were before. You had first felt the arousal flood to your lower half in the cab ride on the way to your place, when Kix’s gloved hand gently grazed along your thigh. The dress you were wearing had ridden up when you slid into the seat, but you didn’t bother fixing it. He wasn’t even looking at you; he was looking out the cab’s dusty window at all the nightlife Coruscant had to offer as the cab whisked along. His fingers tickled along your exposed skin, dancing over the goosebumps that had formed. Him not looking at you while he teased you sent warmth all throughout your body - a different warmth than what you were already feeling from the whiskey and whatever drink he was drinking.

Eventually you both had moved from leaning against the front door and clumsily meandered over to the sofa. You pushed him down to sit on the sofa and stood over him; noting how dark his eyes had gotten, taking over the sparkle that had drawn you to him in the first place. His dark cheeks were flushed, lips slightly swollen. He was quite the sight. He was so... pretty. 

“What are you lookin’ at?” He raised a quizzical brow and flashed a cheesy grin; you realized you were just standing there staring at him silently. Just as you felt a blush come on your face, his hands shot up to grab at your hips, pulling you down on top of him. You were never really were a graceful person, so you sort of tripped on nothing as he pulled you towards him. That earned a laugh from him, but it was a sincere one - he wasn't making fun of you, that much you knew.

You were straddled on his lap at this point, knees pressed into the sofa on either side of him. The kisses you shared were tender... not at all how your other hookups kissed you. His palms - now bare - rested on your lower back as he applied a small amount of pressure, effectively pushing you closer into him. Your hands rested on his pauldron-less shoulders.

You were comfortable with him, and you had only just met him a couple hours ago. 

And though you were enjoying his tender kisses and warm hands resting still on your back, you were hungry for more. Taking matters in your own hands to speed things up, you broke away from his mouth and lifted off him slightly to slide your dress up and over your head, tossing it off to the side out of sight. You nestled back down on top of him when you finally realized how hard he was underneath his skin-tight under-armor pants. You gave your hips an experimental wiggle across his clothed member, his head tilted back with shut eyes, and the deep moan he conjured up his chest set off fireworks in your gut.

You reached for the hem of his shirt, motioning for him to shed his clothing as well. His undershirt flew off in one swift motion and joined your dress somewhere across your tiny apartment. With a smirk, you leaned back a little to get access to the waistband of his pants. Kix lifted his hips and helped to slide his pants down, underwear coming off with them. His fully-erect cock sprang free, smacking gently against the happy trail below his naval. 

“Fuck, Kix.” You gawked at him. “Are all you clones like this? I can’t believe I spent all that time shooing away your brothers when I could’ve had th-” You yelped as you were cut off when Kix jolted up, taking you with him. Your legs wrapped around his hips tightly, arms snug around his neck in fear of falling. 

Kix laughed, walking you over to your bedroom. He sat you down at the foot of your bed. “Lay back.”

Butterflies flew around in your stomach because you could only imagine what was going to happen next. You lay back with your legs hanging off the foot of the bed, waiting anxiously for his next move.

“You know...” he started, his fingertips ghosting around the band of your underwear, “I have quite the extensive knowledge when it comes to the human body - being medically trained, and all.” He took his time sliding your underwear down; you propped yourself up on your elbows to watch his movements. He was crouched down in between your dangling legs with a huge smirk on his face.

The butterflies flew away, and the fireworks returned. Your entire lower half was on fire. 

You watched Kix closely as his lips ghosted along your inner thigh, starting at your knee and slowly making his way up to where you absolutely needed him most. His eyes flickered up to meet your gaze, letting out a quiet chuckle as he nipped the thin skin of your inner thigh. His hands trailed up your thighs and then to your waist, blatantly going around your exposed heat. 

His mouth went to your other thigh, kissing his way up, starting at your knee. “I know all the pressure points in the human body...” *kiss* “I know where all the sensitive spots are on a woman...” *kiss* He was finally getting to where you needed him. It was too much to keep yourself propped on your elbows, so you laid back down as he chuckled against your sensitive and flushed skin. His kisses were slow and agonizing, but he was making progress. He was going up and up, closer and closer -

“I know that I can get you to scream.” That was it. His hot breath was right there. You needed him now. 

“Kix -” He cut you off for the second time tonight with his tongue, slowly licking a long stripe up your glistening lips to your clit. You yelped at the warm and wet muscle making contact at last, earning a low chuckle from the man who’s mouth was buried in your pussy, the vibrations sending shockwaves up your body.

“Holy f- fuck.” Your hand was gripping tightly at the sheets by your side, while you brought your other hand up to your mouth, shoving a knuckle inside in an attempt to muffle your moans. Kix kept up his brutal attack with his tongue, making out with your pussy the same way he made out with you on the couch - slow and passionate. 

You were unable to control the way your back arched up off the sheets. Kix’s hands moved from your thighs to your hips, long and dark fingers splayed over your stomach, pinning you down to keep you flat against the bed. His grip was bruising and you were for sure going to have marks there in the morning - that thought alone created a deep moan in your chest the escaped out your mouth before you could muffle it.

It was coming - you felt it, and you were sure he could sense it, too. You were completely unable to suppress your moans now; both your hands were occupied with clinging to the sheets for dear life. Your entire body was on fire when it hit you like a speeder. Thighs shaking on either side of him, your orgasm hit hard. You clamped your eyes shut and let it come over you, the white light bright behind your eyelids. Kix didn’t stop. He lapped you up through the entire thing, now adding in a single digit as he pumped it in and out of your clenching pussy, his tongue flicking at the sensitive bud.

“Stars,” you managed to breathe out. It was impossible to come off from your high at this point as he added in a second digit, curing them up and hitting that sweet spot inside you. 

“What did I tell you?” He sounded all too cocky, but he was right. This soldier - this medic - knew what the fuck he was doing, and it was wrecking you. 

‘You taste so kriffin’ good and make the prettiest noises when you cum.” His tongue left your sensitive clit; his head left its place buried in your pussy so he could get a better look at your reactions. “I wanna see you...” He pumped his fingers faster, “Give me another.” The way his voice sounded sent you over the edge once again, your second orgasm hitting before you even came down all the way from your first. Your whimpers and groans were echoing in your small apartment, but you didn’t care. 

He removed his fingers and lifted them up to his mouth, sucking your juices off of them. Fuck. You were trembling beneath him, watching him lick his fingers clean - that image alone made you moan. 

He was standing now, his cock in hand, locking eyes with yours. Your body was tired - oversensitive and shaky - but you knew the night wasn’t over, and you did not mind in the slightest. 

You watched him through hooded eyes, biting your lower lip as he stood at the edge of the bed slowly stroking himself. It almost looked like he was pondering what to do next - thinking about what exactly he wanted to do to you.

Seconds later, he grabbed your ankles and brought them back to meet the back on your thighs. You were nearly folded like a lawn chair when he met the edge of the bed as far as his legs could go, and teased your oversensitive cunt with the bulbous head of his cock. You let your head fall back and eyes close, waiting for him to push in, but he pauses. You yank your head back up and see him with his head tilted slightly to the side and a smile on his face.

“What is it?” You breathed out, wiggling your hips a little to the best of your ability, promoting him to proceed.

“Nothing. You’re just beautiful, that’s all.” You blushed and leaned your head back down to the bed. Not even a second later you were filled to the brim with one swift motion. Kix stilled again; this time when you shot your head back to look at him, his own was tilted back with his eyes clamped shut. Your heavy breaths were the only sound in the quiet room for the moment; he was letting you get adjusted to him while he relished in the way you felt around his cock.

Your ankles were still sat against the backs of your thighs; his hands came up to press into your shins as he slowly began to thrust. 

Slow, gentle thrusts quickly turned to hard and deep ones, his grip on your shins  transferred to bruising grips on your hips as he pounded you into the bed. The position he had you in gave his cock the ability to hit further inside you than you ever thought possible. You were a whimpering mess - completely at his mercy. Between grunts coming from Kix you were able to make out words like “tight” and “warm”. You couldn't focus on anything other than how he was pretty much splitting you open. 

You didn’t think you could cum as many times as you already had, but your third orgasm came out of nowhere, white hot and burning in your gut. To add liquid tibanna to the fire, Kix worked your clit with expert fingers as he coaxed you to give him “just one more.” 

Well, one more is what you gave him, because your fourth orgasm hit you just seconds after your third. You didn’t even know that was possible, yet here you were, completely wrecked by this soldier hammering in and out of you while working your oversensitive bundle of nerves with his fingers. 

The squelching sounds coming from his cock moving in and out of your very well-lubricated cunt made your face burn. Kix was close; his thrusts were becoming sloppy and losing their rhythm while his grunts were getting louder as your walls clenched unforgivingly around him.

He quickly pulled out, working himself with a shaky hand as he shot out his release. His sticky cum spurted in warm ropes, splattering on your lower stomach and the apex of your thighs. You couldn't help but smile up at him as his finished - not minding the mess he made all over you - noticing that the signature sparkle in his eyes returned as worked the last of his release from his spent, softening cock. Kix flopped down on the bed next to you; you both panted in unison, trying to catch your breaths. He turned his head to you and you turned your head to him, watching him as his chest movements became slower, returning to the steady rise and fall of normal breathing. He let out a long sigh followed by a smirk, his arms folded above his head.

“Stars. That was... was - ”

“Amazing,” you finished for him. He nodded in agreement, raising his hand to wipe a bead of sweat of your brow. “Some medical training you had there, Kix.”

It felt like an hour went by as you both came down from your highs, laying in silence. You sat up, nearly forgetting you were coated in his sticky release. You looked over your shoulder at him with a sheepish smile. Kix instantly shot up and stepped into the ‘fresher, coming back with a damp towel, “Allow me.” What a gentleman. You blushed at the sweet gesture - which, to be totally honest, seemed silly since he had just spit you open and completely wrecked you. 

After he had cleaned you up, you flopped back down on the bed, not putting the energy in to get dressed. Kix had his bottoms back on when he sat down on the bed next to you, his hand coming up to tuck loose hair behind your ears. You were completely lost in his kind eyes; you felt a ridiculous smile plastered on your face as you started into them.

“I’m a regular at 79′s y’know,” you informed him, your smile turning into a mischievous grin.

His one brow raised, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Looks like I know where to find you, beautiful.”

***

* If you want to be added to the taglist for our clone bois, please let me know in the replies! Thank you kindly <3 *

Tags: @bvcketfvcker​

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader (part 7)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  

word count: 2.5k

warnings: um just implied smut and fluff and a reference to bdsm I guess?? but it's pretty chill overall

Liked by starkcosmetics and others

y/n.y/l/n okay first of all, it takes an act of god to get a picture of this guy smiling, but it’s always worth it.  he really changed everything for me and I can’t thank him enough for that.  so happy ❤️ 

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caroldanvers 😍😍😍

flowercrowny/n oh my god this is so sweet i’m gonna cry

1 HOUR AGO

He smiled as he stared down at the post you’d made, remembering how much effort you’d put into finding the perfect picture (in your opinion; he thought he looked kinda dopey in it) as well as writing and re-writing your caption.

The speed at which your post gained likes and comments was inconceivable to him; even more impressive was the speed at which gossip rags were picking up the story.  Sure enough, his phone’s alerts to new headlines about you were not only going off like crazy, but had started to include news about himself as well.  

Y/N Y/L/N Shocks With Romantic Instagram Post, Confirms Dating Rumors

You’ll Never Guess Which Hollywood Starlet Is Dating Her Driver

Who is James Barnes?  Everything We Know About Y/N Y/L/N’s New Beau

Skimming one of the articles, he was impressed at how much information they’d managed to get without actually getting anything from you or him.  Born in Brooklyn, disabled Army veteran, worked a list of odd jobs before becoming your driver and bodyguard.  ‘No social media presence, prefers to keep a low profile’ one of them said; you can say that again, Bucky chuckled to himself when he read it.

He found another from People and didn’t particularly appreciate that it spent half the time going through all your past exes and rumored partners (turned out ‘rumored’ is a fancy word for ‘a bunch of fans deluded themselves so hard that it somehow turned into news without any proof necessary’).  But he still smiled when he got to the part that was actually about you and him.

‘The relationship is pretty new but they’re so happy together,’  a source close to the couple reported.  

Close indeed; that statement came from your publicist, who he’d never even meet.  

‘He’s a very private guy and she’s got this huge following, so they’re sort of an odd couple in that way, but she knows her fans are respectful and will let them have their own life outside of the spotlight.’ 

Bucky wasn’t sure that the respectfulness of fans was such a given here, but he hoped you were right.  To be fair, they’d been very sweet on your original post insofar. 

However, when he scrolled to the bottom of the celebrity magazine articles and realized they had their own comments section, he discovered that they were a little less forgiving than the ones on your Instagram.  

Is this the best she thinks she can do?  So sad tbh :(

a military guy…. yikes, she could get any guy she wants and she goes for a murderer. 

He looks like a hobo that found a coupon for a free haircut lol

I don’t buy it, I know she’ll always love Pietro!

Pietro being your former co-star that so many of your fans were convinced was actually your soulmate.  From what he’d heard from you, those speculations had made things so uncomfortable between the two of you that it killed your friendship.  Those were nothing, though, compared to the comments about someone you actually had dated.

she’s obviously not over sam… they were so good together

He’d better watch out for her ex, he still likes tweets about her and they have so much chemistry

Wait, she’s not still with Sam Wilson??  I could’ve sworn they’d been dating for, like, five years.

You were scrolling through your phone with a smile as you walked past where he was sitting on the couch, and he just couldn’t help himself from asking even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea.  “Do I need to worry about this Sam thing?” he blurted out, trying to play it cool and not sound too anxious.  “People are really obsessed with you two…”

“Sam and I…” you sighed, staring off into space for a second.  He made himself anxious imagining what you were thinking about in that moment.  “I haven’t talked to him in… years?  I think it’s just because our relationship was so public that people are still talking about it.  And it had a lot of gossip material— we did a movie together, people thought it was sweet that we got together during production, it was great promotion for the picture… and from the outside, we made a lot of sense for each other.  But he has his own problems.  I loved him, but… he wasn’t ever going to be a one-girl kinda guy.”

“But you’re not just any one girl.  You’re… you know, you,” he emphasized.

“You’ve been reading too many headlines,” you shook your head as you sat down beside him.  “Please don’t turn into one of those guys who thinks of me as a celebrity first.  Before that—” you pointed to your own name where it was bolded on his screen in the trending topics page of Twitter— “was popping up on movie posters and in gossip magazines, it was just my name.  And I’m not perfect.  Not even close.”

Bucky sighed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and holding you tightly.  “And before I knew you were famous, or rich, or incredibly talented, I was totally obsessed with you just for who you are.”

“You’re too fucking amazing,” you sighed as you held his face and gave him a gentle kiss— the kind of kiss that instantly melted his heart and banished his worries.  When you pulled back and looked up at him with a smile, it was like everything else just… faded away.  “Don’t read the comments, okay?  None of them matter.”

He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, overwhelmed by not only the softness of your skin but of your spirit as well.  In all his life he’d never been handled so… gently, with so much care.  “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled, not even really realizing he’d said it aloud until you gave him a beaming smile.

“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” you giggled pridefully.

“Seriously?  I can… very easily believe it,” he scoffed.

“I just mean… you’re so…” you searched for the words.  “You’re actually good to me, that’s the thing.  I’m not used to that.”

“You deserve the world,” he assured.  “I’m just gonna keep trying to give you as much of it as I can find.”

He watched his hand trail over your face, down your neck and to your chest where he played with the hem of your t-shirt.

"It's odd to know there are millions of people who are jealous of me,” he admitted quietly, remembering some aggressive comments from some very angry dudes who had apparently also watched your nude scene a few too many times.

"Do you like it?  Do you like how it feels to know you're making them angry every time you touch me?"

"Couldn't care less," he refuted.  "Nobody else matters when I'm touchin' you."

“Do you maybe wanna… touch me a little more about it?” you smirked, opening your legs slightly in invitation.

“Always.”

//

Bucky had, thankfully, not let the newfound fame get to his head.  In fact, he had demanded that the two of you hunker down in the house, since he feared that going out would lead to being recognized.  What he apparently hadn’t anticipated was that that might not be enough.

“Will you get that?” you requested when the gate buzzed, too wrapped up in the book you were reading to answer the intercom.

He hopped up and held down the button to communicate with the gate speaker.  “Who is it?” he asked.

“I’ve got a delivery from Anjappar Chettinad on 23rd?”

Bucky didn’t even reply before hitting the green button and granting access to the driveway.  BEEP BEEP BEEP! you heard the gate signal its opening, and the car pulling around up to the door.  Bucky didn’t open it until there was a knock, greeting the delivery guy with a smile and the necessary cash.

“I’ve got a lamb korma, hyderabadi mutton dum biryani and an order of— woah,” the man suddenly stopped, staring at Bucky’s face.  “Are you—?’

“Hungry?  Yes,” he frowned.

“You’re the guy dating— holy shit, congrats man,” he beamed, smacking Bucky on the shoulder pridefully before leaning in with a mischievous smirk.  “Say, is she a freak or what?”

“She is,” you piped up from the couch, making both men turn their heads; but one was chuckling while the other looked mortified.  “You better not have forgotten my paneer pakora or I’m gonna chain you up and whip you.”

“Uh, I— no, I got it right here,” he promised weakly, handing the bag over to Bucky and starting to dash away before Bucky grabbed his arm, making the smaller man whimper fearfully.

“You forgot the money,” Bucky reminded him gruffly, stuffing the bills into the driver’s front pocket.

Finally, he let go, and the delivery man instantly pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking a bit like a kicked puppy as he went back to his car and drove away.

“You didn’t need to scare him that bad,” Bucky chuckled.

“I could say the same to you!  Grabbing somebody with the metal arm like that will put the fear of God into them pretty fast.”

“I didn’t mean to grab him that hard,” he admitted, examining the prosthetic hand as he came back to the couch with the bag of food, handing it to you while he focused on watching his motorized fingers curl and uncurl.  “I think I need to get this thing recalibrated… it’s been bugging out lately.”

“I dunno, it was working just fine last night,” you smiled, remembering how delightfully cool those fingers felt inside you.

Bucky seemed to miss it entirely, though, as he stared off into space.  “I can’t believe I got… recognized.”

“You’re a star,” you winked.  “And not just with random delivery drivers.  I’ve had a lot of press requests, everybody wants to be the first one to get nice pictures of us together— we’ve had a dozen event invites as a couple.”

“Seriously?!” he scoffed, snapping back to reality slightly enough 

“Yeah, and look what came in same-day mail this morning!”  You leaned over to shuffle through the mail on the side table before finding and handing him a letter in a gold-embossed envelope, watching him read what you knew was inside.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association extends an invitation to Y/N Y/L/N and James Barnes to the annual Grant Banquet in support of the Young Artists Fund.

“It seems like a good first event for us,” you explained.  “Relatively small and low stakes, it’s for a good cause…”

“Are you sure I’m ready to be, you know… seen?  By people?” 

You scoffed, hardly believing how insecure he could be sometimes.  “You look great, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Will I have to talk to anybody other than you?” he asked, grimacing as if that were a form of brutal torture.

“Probably,” you admitted.

His frown deepened.  “What if I say the wrong thing?”

“I’m not that worried about you,” you smirked.  “You’re a lot better at this stuff than you think you are.”

“I don’t have anything to wear…”

You smirked, a little too proud of yourself, when you remembered the email your publicist had forwarded to you just this morning.  “Hugo Boss will pay you $1500 to wear one of their suits on the carpet.”

“They’ll pay me to wear free clothes?” he repeated with wide eyes.

“Yeah, that’s one of the cooler things about fame,” you laughed.  “I make a grand every time I wear this watch outside!”

“I guess I should send them my measurements then…” he trailed off.  “Any chance I can get in on that watch deal?”

“No, but you can make $50 by getting papped at Jamba Juice.”

He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he thought.  “Is the smoothie comped?”

“I don’t know.  Do you want me to ask?”

“...kinda…” he admitted with a shy smile.  

“Well, I will, and I’ll RSVP to this invite saying we’ll be there next week,” you decided as you started to open up the food, but Bucky stopped you by reaching for your hands.

“Are we really doing this?” he asked.

“If you want to,” you mitigated.

“Of course I do.  I guess I have to accept that you’re actually willing to be seen with me,” he chuckled.  “It’s just sort of hard to believe.”

You leaned in and kissed him; it was meant to be a casual, reassuring peck but he held you closer and you melted into him, moaning softly at his touch as you started to climb into his lap.

“The food’s gonna get cold,” he reminded you with a mumble against your lips.

Unfortunately, your literal hunger was a bit too strong to ignore, even with the growing intensity of a metaphorical hunger for Bucky.  “Alright,” you relented, getting off of him and returning your attention to the meal on the table.  “Just know that I really, really want to be seen together, in public, just in case anybody missed the news about us already.  I’m not embarrassed by you or afraid you’re going to do something dumb.  I…”

One of those words that can’t be unsaid started to bubble up in your throat and you coughed, banishing the thought.

“I really like you.  I think we have something special.”

He smiled gently, giving you one more kiss on the cheek.  “I think so, too.”

//

Since this was slightly less of a big deal than a premiere or press tour, you had managed to convince your styling team to let you dress yourself, which was why he was laying on the bed and talking to you through the bathroom door while you put on your gown.

“Do you want me to hire a new driver?” you prompted him, voice muffled slightly as he imagined your head covered in the fabric, trying to navigate through the dress.  “I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, like a servant?”

“A servant?  You’re still paying me,” he reminded you.  “You are still paying me, right?”

“Yes,” you laughed, “but still, I would hate it if you felt like staff.  You’re my boyfriend!”

(His heart still fluttered every time you said it.)

“No new driver,” he decided.  “I can drive just fine, and considering how things went between us… let’s not open the door for anybody else,” he smirked, making you laugh in that way you did when he made a stupid joke but you still liked it somehow.

“Okay, sure, but what about being my bodyguard?  Is that too weird?” you continued.

“God no,” he scoffed, “if anything I’m gonna be better at my job than ever.  As your boyfriend, keeping you safe is my job, but since keeping you safe was already my job… it’s, like, doubled-up now.”

He lost his train of thought when you opened the door.

“How do I look?” you asked as you stepped in and gave him a spin in your new dress.  Your whole body was draped in red silk, with the exception of your back which was almost entirely exposed, as if it were begging him to run his fingers down your spine.

“Like everything I ever wanted,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

And it was so odd that you questioned his desire to drive you, because those moments where he could steer with one hand and rest the other on your thigh, when he could catch a glimpse of you looking out the window at the city rolling by, when he got to listen to you ramble about something to kill the time during a drive; those were his favorite moments, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

After a relatively brief trip, you arrived at the venue, and all of a sudden he was doing what he’d fantasized about more than he’d like to admit: escorting you down a red carpet.  It was almost overwhelming— yelling, chattering, reporters speaking into camera, flashes going off in every direction—

“Hey,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to his cheek and instantly taking all his attention.

“Hey,” he returned.

“Just follow my lead,” you instructed.

“That was the plan.”

[niksfics]

↬ FATE

↬ PAIRINGS: kenma x f!reader (side aka rebound mention) miya atsumu x f!reader

↬ WARNINGS: a whole lotta angst, breakup, it’s an online relationship, kenma is cold and hurts ur feelings

↬ SUMMARY: your relationship with kenma really had felt like the last one. He was it, turns out he didn’t have similar feelings.

↬ A/N: alright loves!! This isn’t proofread at all it’s 2 in the morning I’ll edit when I wake up, butttt Thanks to my lovely ex girlfriend you are now being graced with this steaming pile of trash. (Lovely was not meant sarcastically at all she is in fact very lovely.) Ngl almost, if not all of this story is about my relationship with my ex gf. This is how I cope people. ￫ It’s taken me awhile to actually be able to right something that’s why things kinda stopped. Tbh after she broke up with me it’s been very hard for me to write so hopefully this helps! And I hope you enjoy!! I would also just like to say if it feels a lil weird it’s cause these are things I’ve actually written in my notes I tweaked it a little to fit the story but it’s straight from the source 😩

WC | 2.5K

You sighed as you opened your notes app. Your eyes scanning over all of the little facts and quirks he had told you about himself. All the stuff you’d wanted to remember. The stuff that had seemed so important to you before. Now it was meaningless, almost like facts about a stranger. Almost as if you hadn’t spent four months learning about and growing with eachother.

You scrolled down a little bit right under, how his favorite marvel character is Spider-Man and you chewed on your lip. Your fingers hovering above the keyboard on your phone. You looked over the facts again. The things he dislikes and the stuff he adores, the things he likes to collect to the way he feels passionately about a certain topic. You begin to type.

Friday June 25th 2022 12:22 Am

I cried again tonight, because I still love you. It’s been a month and six days since we broke up. It feels like there’s a hole in my chest. You seem to be doing fine though, so I’m happy for you! This is the second time since we’ve broken up that I’ve felt actual physical emotional pain in my chest. Remember when I told you how bad it hurt after we broke up? Remember how you didn’t even ask if I was ok? Didn’t even bother to answer. Do you remember that? I remember. I’ve thought about it every day since. I remember it being so bad I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. Wasn’t until I’d called tetsu crying that he’d told me it was just emotional and I should probably try to relax.

I read through our old messages. I’ve never wanted something back so bad. Never wanted to beg anyone to stay till now. I wish you loved me like I love you. I wish I hadn’t grown so attached, wish I hadn’t fallen so deeply into love with you. I wish it wasn’t my fault that we broke up. I wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I wish I was fearless. Wish I could rise into love bravely. I wish I was brave when it came to you. I keep telling myself it was me. It was me not you. You didn’t love me anymore. You don’t love me anymore and you’re just too nice to say that. So you told me in the only way I could handle. Except you hadn’t used the words you should have. You got bored. We both know it’s true. You were bored of it, and I don’t blame you. I know we’ll never talk again, and part of me is so glad. Another part of me forces myself to read through all our messages though. I wish I could just tell you one last time. I love you.

You sighed saving it before closing out of it. Tears you hadn’t known were falling finally became known to you as they streamed down your cheeks. Your eyes puffy as you wet your lips, the salt of them coating your tongue. You were bitter and so were your tears. I briefly wondered what he was doing right now. Probably playing a video game. You knew his schedule all to well by now. Probably testing out a new game for his stream.

A new set of fresh tears fell as you remembered how you used to call him right before he went on. Being lulled to sleep by his occasionally curses and the clicking oh his controller or his keyboard.

You never expected things to end this way. You really thought he was the last one. Yes it had only been four months, but the way he made you feel. The way that it had felt. It had felt final, and you’d been friends before you even started dating.

You sniffle moving yourself to the kitchen to poor yourself a glass of water as you remembered how nervous you were when you first texted him. You had acumulated quite the crush on him back in high school. As Inarazaki’s manager you were required to go to the games, and even after your team lost you had stuck around. Watched him play and cheered him on. Two weeks later you had begun to text, as friends of course. It wasn’t until four months ago that you’d gotten together.

Your anniversary was only two days prior to your break up. You both had never been one to even care about that stuff. You had agreed early on in the relationship that we wouldn’t do anything due to the distance, and the business of our schedules. You were never one for remembering things like anniversaries anyways.

He really did feel like the one. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes you can just feel it. Like, you know that feeling you get when you know something is off or you know for sure something is about to happen even without being told it’s going to. That’s what it felt like to be with kozume kenma.

You thought you knew, you thought this time, this time its for real. You thought it was finally safe to say, that he was the one. You both had even admitted to looking for each others initials in those stupid soulmate tik tok videos.

You were finally in a mature relationship with someone you could talk about anything to. You had gotten so caught up in it, that you didn’t even see the end creeping up on you.

↝

You’d finally gained the courage to text him again. Unfortunately it was in a drunken daze. Your hands shaking as you fumbled with your phone typing things you’d come to regret in the morning. You’d sent him a series of texts telling him how much you missed him, how you didn’t understand how he was so okay. You had been a wreck that night. One of your friends puking in her toilet as you cried. You were happy of course that he was doing so well, but you’d been a wreck for so long and he hadn’t even changed. You told him you wished you could be okay.

When you’d awoken the next morning hair knotted in a complete mess and wiping drool from your chin your heart had sunk even lower. His response was cold. You knew that kenma could be cold. You knew that it was just who he was, but this particular text had felt so unfeeling and unfamiliar, it was as if he hadn’t even sent it himself. He had only ever talked like this to you once and that was when you first became friends all those years ago.

Kozume ❤️

Hey, it’s okay. And yeah you see what I choose to put up. I could be better. But I choose to stay optimistic and busy. Sorry that things are this way.

You had never seen so many periods in a text before. He only used grammar like that when he was peeved, and maybe you were wrong, maybe he’d done that on purpose, but it had hurt so bad. It had caused an ache so deep in your chest that you weren’t sure if you’d ever even dated him at all.

Yeah.

It was the only thing you could bring yourself to respond back with. How were you supposed to respond to that? You’d stared at it for so long and after you’d sent it you wished you had said more. Wished you would’ve said something more insightful than a simple, heartbroken, “yeah.”

Not too long later there was another ping and you held your breath. His name briefly appearing across your screen.

Yeah. I could be better. But I hope you do well soon. I’m sorry that I can’t really do much to help out

And of course you did the only thing you could do. Deflect. Pretend like you hadn’t said what you’d said not even fourteen hours ago.

No it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that you could be doing better.

He left you on seen. You knew you sounded like an asshole. At least to you, you felt like an asshole. Why couldn’t you have come up with something else. Why couldn’t you tell him the truth. Tell him how you felt. Tell him that you didn’t think you should be broken up anymore. That the month long cruel joke was over and you were ready to spend your nights falling asleep to him playing video games again. You didn’t though, and you never would. You’re not brave enough, too prideful to even try.

You swallowed down the bile rising in your throat as you realized even if you did beg him. Begged him to take you back. Tell him that you still love him. You were too late, and you just couldn’t be selfish when it comes to him. He is over you and it was so plainly obvious. You know that deep down. Know that he’s moved on, and it kills you inside. So you did the only thing you could do. Try and put it into words.

So as you lay in bed the warm body you let occupy your space sound asleep beside you, his toned blonde hair tousled slightly and you sighed. Finally away from the shenanigans of your friends you took a deep breath before you closed your eyes.

You opened up your notes app again and scrolled past the last entry. You swallowed again as you blinked the tears out of your eyes. Your thumbs beginning to move before you even gave them permission.

Wednesday June 30th 2022 1:39 Am

Here I am again. Stuck. Stuck in the same place I’ve been for so long. You know, I write so beautifully when I’m broken. I’m most of my best work is written when I’m being torn apart. But I just, I can’t seem to find the words. I can’t seem to put it into a document and turn out little story into a different story to cope. Can’t seem to write it out. Can’t seem to move on.

I hovered over the unfollow button on your page today, to keep myself from scrolling through your things again. To keep myself from getting hurt. So I don’t have to be reminded. I want to delete it. Delete where we officially met. On a chat through my screen. I wanna wipe the messages clean. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I want to delete our conversations. The hours long talks we had, but then, what happens afterwards? What keeps the memories alive. I’d never been so in love with someone before. I’ve never actually…. Been in love before. I thought I’d been in love, but it didn’t feel like that, and losing them never hurt like this. Losing someone has never hurt this bad before.

I’ve never felt the emptiness you left so deep in my very being with anyone I’ve ever met before. I can’t seem to pull myself together. And it’s pathetic I know. It’s pathetic that I’m still here. In the same place I was a month ago. It’s about to be two months we’ve haven’t been together. I’m hurting. Hurting so bad. It’s painful to look at you.

I haven’t deleted the photos even though I probably should. They’re still tucked away in an album in my camera roll labeled “us <3” the one one I made specially just for you. The way I’d been so excited when I was finally ready to tell my friends. I even have this stupid notes folder from when we were dating where I wrote all the little things about you that I never wanted to forget. I find you so endearing. Everything you do. I just couldn’t help but right it down to keep it safe so it never leaves my mind. So that I never forget. But now, forgetting is all I want to do.

I never thought there’d be a time in my life where I was more emotionally stunted that I normally. So stunted I can’t even put this, our split up, into words. Make it something entertaining for somebody else to read. Write a book about it. My publicist keeps asking when the sequel for my book will be done. I don’t know if it’ll ever be finished. I can’t do the one thing I’ve always been good at. I’m crying as I write this.

And I wish it would just end here in this little notes app. Wish the love would die in here. I always think I’m over you and then I see you again, and nowadays your everywhere. A very big hit and I’m happy for you and your success, but seeing you makes my heart squeeze in my chest.

I think I’m over you until I play that stupid fucking game that causes me to scream at my phone, or my laptop in frustration, but I just can’t seem to delete it because I know it’s something that you love. That show we used to talk about. I know you know which one, I can’t seem to watch it without thinking of what was. You’ve ruined it forever cause now it only reminds me of you. I know you’ll never see this, but I like to imagine you can. That my time for closure has somehow come.

When you told me you were sorry that things were this way, it was a real slap in the face. It stopped my false hope. My wishing. It all came to a halt. I’m glad. Glad that you’re happier. That you’re better without me. But god, now I’m so fucked up and I can’t even talk to you.

You were the only person I had left. The only one who understood me. And now you’re gone. You took a part of me with you that night. A part that I’ll never get back. I should’ve known that you would leave. I’ve never been able to get someone to stay for longer than three to four months.

I thought I could let my guard down though. I thought we were in the clear. I’d thought finally. Finally someone is gonna stay. I thought you were my person. I still think that to this day. I thought we were gonna make it. And now I’m with this guy I don’t even like. He’s not you, he doesn’t act like you. He doesn’t like video games like you do.

He doesn’t talk to me like you do. Like you did. But you know how it ended I don’t need to put it here. Unfortunately I’ll always love you even if you don’t love me. This is so scattered, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy.

With that you closed the app and put down your phone. Plugging in it and as it dinged miya atsumu rolled over in his sleep. He reached for you his hands wrapping around your waist to tug you against his strong body.

His gravely voice whispering through sleep, “mmm finally decided to come to bed?” You hum moving an arm under on of his to wrap around his thin waist. “Mhm, thought you might need the company.” You began to draw little shapes and letters against his back as he chuckled, “oh yea? How thoughtful of you princess.”

Suddenly it was quiet and your closed eyes opened to his wide brown ones, his eyebrows furrowing .

“Did you just spell kozume on my back?”