#techno was an amazing person and now he’s gone and that’s awful

[bubble-popping]

okay this is kinda embarrassing bc i meant to post this a long time ago and just... Didn't.

More dnb gods au bc them <3

Truthfully, Techno didn't know why he stood here, hand hovering above the wood of a door. Even less did he understand why he felt so nervous about going in. The words 'Dream's Study' felt like a permanent 'do not disturb' sign. He knew how much he hated to be interrupted when he worked, especially for trivial matters such as a minor headache. Techno hadn't seen Dream for a while, and it was showing with how Chat nagged and clawed at his brain. He wasn't quite at the stage of attacking his dearest friends and causing major property damage because of their volume and relentlessness, but Dream had asked--pleaded, to be more precise--for him to visit before it got to that point. So, here he stood, trying to think of how to phrase his current predicament without sounding like a total loser. And Chat was not helping.

just knock?

man's forgot how to knock

bro forgor

E

E

average dork in love behavior

no u guys don't get it he's so normal about dream i promise

social anxiety L

L

LOL

L

L

"How do you nerds even know half those phrases? I don't say anythin' like that-" Before he knew it, the sound of squeaks and chirps emitted from behind the door. The Blobs' heightened senses never ceased to amaze him.

"What? Techno's outside? How-OW!"

Techno startled upon hearing the exclamation accompanied by a thud and finally kicked himself into gear, opening the door and peeking inside to see Dream standing up from behind his desk, cradling his horns and uttering more hisses of pain. "Dream? You alright?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine! Jus' bumped my head is all. I'm alright." The blond waved off his concern as he sank into his chair. "Is something up? Chat being loud again?"

The piglin god decided to step further into the room. He'd gone this far, might as well go the full mile. "Well, not at the moment now that you're, ya know, talkin'."

"Aw, they just missed me, huh?" Dream rested his head in his hand, smile smug and eyes scrunched.

YES

DREAM

DREAM POG

simps. every single one of you. me too.

GUYS SHUT UP I CAN'T FOCUS ON HIS PRETTY

pretty dreamie :)

WE AGREED ON DAYDREAM FOR THE NICKNAME IDOIT

**idiot lol

lol

LOL

Lol

LOL

"I didn't say all that. Don't get ahead of yourself, teletubby." As if Techno's absolutely scathing remark wasn't enough of a blow to the man's ego, several Blobs then decided it was their special moment to shine as they dropped down on Techno chirping and cooing not too unlike Phil's crows. He glanced up to see many more piled on a hammock above his head. The majority still soundly slept. Techno could only imagine what it'd look like if they were all awake.

"Hey! What have I told you guys about personal space?" Dream promptly stood from his chair and came over to brush the little Blobs off, a bright gold strong as sunshine glowing on his cheeks. It really didn't match the stern expression he was trying to show. "I'm so sorry about them. We're still working on that..." He didn't meet Techno's eyes as his hands swiped across his shoulders. Not even when he reached further up, lifting on the tips of his toes to pluck away the ones that had settled in his hair.

"They're not so bad. At least they're cute. Chat is just plain annoyin'," Techno grumbled.

WE'RE RIGHT HERE YA KNOW

techno hates us y'all

we're literally fixing your love life?

so ungrateful

Dream giggled softly, shaking his head. Only then did he meet Techno's gaze. "Chat isn't bad either. It's just like the Blobs, they're excitable. I think Chat's cool."

dream gets us y'all

omg he's looking at us guys

HE'S THINKS WE'RE COOL

i hope he wins the custody battle in the divorce

they aren't even married yet

praying on their downfall already is crazy

SHUT UP HE'S STILL TALKIMG

he stopped tho?

**talking

LOL

LOL

L

L

L

Techno pressed a hand to his temple, face twisting in discomfort. "You don't have to hear 'em all the time..."

Dream offered a sympathetic smile before he seemed to get an idea. "Would you like to rest with me while I fulfill some dream requests?"

"I don't wanna bother ya if you're workin'-"

"You wouldn't be a bother, ya big idiot. C'mon, I could use the company." He smiled sweetly, taking Techno by the arm with pretty green eyes begging from under long blond lashes. Naturally, Techno let himself be dragged away--but he still wasn't a simp, Chat, shut up--to a different corner of the office: an area that closely resembled a pillow fort.

Techno really had to duck down to enter it, clearly not built for a god his size. Inside was more spacious than it initially appeared. Made of many different colors and shapes of cushions, all draped with soft blankets, and partially bordered by the lower shelves of a bookcase. Dream easily found a spot to lay down, propped up and facing the curtain canopy. Techno squeezed against the nearest wall out of consideration for Dream's space, but regardless only managed a gap of mere inches. He too looked up, and when he did, he swore that nothing was above them at all. Tiny lights were strategically placed to emulate the night sky. Techno could even see certain constellations in the pattern.

"How did...?"

"Oh, some Blobs got into my glowstone dust by accident and they reminded me of stars, so I got this idea." And Techno believed him because when he squinted he saw, as his eyes adjusted to the change in lighting, many tiny Blobs hanging by thin threads with the proudest grins on their faces.

"Of course..." He huffed, smirking and shaking his head.

A comfortable silence succeeded his words, covering the pair in a particular kind of blanket. The kind that had Techno curiously glancing over to see Dream concentrating on a cloud held aloft by the green strings connected to his fingers.

"What's that one? If ya don't mind me askin'."

"Hm? Oh, well, usually I don't share other people's dreams. They're personal things, meant for your mind alone. But..." Dream got a small, almost mischievous smile on his face. "This one here is for one of my regulars."

"Regulars?"

"Mhm. I think she prays almost every night, always for the same thing. She's an old woman and recently her wife of almost 60 years passed away from an unfortunate accident. Do you know what she asks to dream of?"

Techno couldn't imagine knowing that much about a mortal. But then again, all those that prayed to him usually didn't live very long, so he supposed he just never got the chance to.

"What?"

"She just wants to speak with her again. Nothing else matters, except that she's there. They talk about so many things. Sometimes, they don't speak at all. Just sit there next to each other, enjoying the company. I've put them in all sorts of places. Relaxing on a beach, watching a fireworks display from afar, sitting on their rocking chairs in their living room..." He'd finished crafting the dream by then, offering it to one of the Blobs who devoured the cloud whole and promptly wiggled into the crevice of two pillows. Afterwards, he folded his hands atop his stomach and closed his eyes, smiling wistfully. "Such a sweet, pure love... I only hope someone will love me like that."

A heat unlike any other instantly filled Techno's cheeks.

ASDFGHJKL HE'S LITERALLY ASKING FOR IT

LET'S GOOO

KISS HIM YOU IDIOT

how did that guy make that sound

KISS

KISS

KISS

L matchmakers fr

wdym we're such W matchmakers

yeah he boutta get that sheep pus-

Techno quickly sat up from the comfortable pile onto his elbow, resolutely pushing that thought out of his head.

"Techno?" Dream looked to him, gaze wide and inquisitive. The piglin god turned to stare down at him, and though he knew he had to say something that might finally shut Chat up about this, the words got caught in his throat. Green eyes were simply too pretty, surrounded by freckles and waves of golden blond. A hand surprised him out of his admiring. Gentle fingers pushed the hair that had fallen into Techno's face behind his pointed ear then came to a rest at his cheek. "Something wrong?"

"No," he answered with a shake of his head, placing his hand upon Dream's and leaning into the touch. It still didn't make a lot of sense to him, why Dream was so tender towards him despite his reputation and prowess... Or, perhaps, because of it? Techno cherished it all the same. "Nothin's wrong. 'm just... 'm not sure how to, how to word-"

"Tech," the sheep god murmured, now cupping both of Techno's cheeks and wearing a bittersweet smile, "you don't have to force yourself. I was just thinking out loud. I wasn't trying to-"

"It's not that, I mean, well, it is, but-" He sighed, closing his eyes to collect himself before opening them with a renewed determination. "I get what you're sayin' and I feel the same way."

"You do?"

"Ya think I'd come just to make Chat shut up? That's just a sweet bonus, dude."

Dream giggled, a similar blush rising on his face. "So, what does that mean?"

"It means I... would really like to kiss ya, if you'll let me."

The blush immediately brightened to a shimmering gold. He pushed himself to a sit as well, closing the gap between them to barely a few inches. "I think I'd like that."

They both leaned in, heads tilting to accommodate the other, but when Techno connected with something, he knew it was not Dream's lips. A Blob had managed to slip in at the last second, squeaking happily. The two pulled back in equal astonishment, allowing the Blob to drop on Dream's lap.

Dream's expression rapidly soured. "You little-!" He snatched the Blob up, gripping its little body in a tight grasp. "That's it. You're all going in timeout now." With a snap of his fingers, all the Blobs including the ones that hung from the ceiling exploded into puffs of clouds, leaving the two in near total darkness aside from Dream's glowing eyes. "Much better. Now..." Hands suddenly grabbed Techno by the shoulders and twisted them so he was flat on his back and Dream was straddling his waist. His voice lowered to a whisper as he leaned in once again, bright green illuminating both their faces. "Where were we?"

[transphilza]

fuuuck i miss techno

[embearsilly]

Hello! Call me Anarchy Anon! Take your time with this please. Can you maybe do a c! SBI + platonic husbands that are all exploring the nether and they find "The NetherVoid" Also find the "Quartress" Then Tommy drags Tubbo and Ranboo to the "Quartress" to steal stuff, but Blaze Empress reader caches them and about to send blaze guards, but Philza (first one to realize the trio was gone) stopped reader and reader recognized Phil [because he is a old and good friend of hers] {Season 4 Lore}

Don’t Steal From The Empress

Ooooooooh, this is such a cool idea! Also, hello new anon, could I have your pronouns please! I changed it up a bit. Hope its to your liking.

Pronouns - She/her

Warnings - slight explicit language, small mention of nsfw (just saying that someone got busy and nothing else)

The sickening humid air flowed around the crimson dimension. The heat is almost unbearable unless you are used to it.

Loud footsteps rang out around the blonde as he ran through the large nether fortress, two pairs following close behind.

“Tommy! Wait up!” The ram hybrid called after the blonde haired boy. Ranboo followed after the two, close behind his husband, Tubbo.

The blonde skillfully weaved around the monsters which roamed the hall of the fortress, the other two struggling to keep up.

After around a few minutes of non-stop running the blonde boy finally came to a halt. Tubbo was the first to reach Tommy while Ranboo was huffing and puffing behind them, trying to catch his breath.

“Tommy,” Tubbo paused, letting out a huge breath of air before he continued, “where are we going.”

The blonde gave the hybrid his signature innit grin before he began to speak, “Well yesterday I was exploring the nether void and was messing around when I found something that was almost as cool as a big man here.”

Tommy began to mine away at the ground when all of a sudden he dropped down into the abyss. Ranboo let out a gasp while Tubbo looked down the hole noticing the boy falling onto a white thing down below. Tubbo glanced at Ranboo before jumping in, Ranboo following after.

When they soon were greeted with a large white fortress which they fell on top of, no it was more castle than a fortress. It’s quartz walls stood around thirty blocks tall, a tower on each corner. In the center of it stood a large castle with towers on all corners of that as well. In front of them was a beautifully crafted bridge that hung over the lava.

The two husbands looked on in awe at the castle, I mean they had seen amazing builds before but nothing like this, it was marvelous.

“What, who's is it?” Questioned the enderman. Tommy shrugged his shoulders and continued down the path leading towards the kingdom.

Tubbo noted the two guards standing at the entrance of the large doors, they were tall and looked buff.

“Tommy don’t you think this might be a tad bit dangerous,” Ranboo’s  tail flicked from side to side as he continued, “I mean what if these people aren’t friendly, we might be killed.”

Tommy let out an annoyed huff, “Has that ever stopped me before?” he questioned.

“Look, I have a plan! We sneak in there, find some shiny things, borrow them and get out of there.” Tubbo raised a brow at the ‘borrow’ part.

“Are you going to be returning what you ‘borrowed’.” Tubbo air quoted when he spoke.

“No."

“Then that’s not borrowing. It’s stealing Tommy.” Tommy rolled his eyes and glanced at the guards.

“Look, I promise nothing bad is going to happen, okay? We get I and then we get out! kapeesh?”

Ranboo and Tubbo glanced at each other, going with what the other would say.

“Okay, we're in.” Tommy pumped his fist in the air. “Let’s goooooo.”

Tommy struggled against the grip of the guard, he was much shorter than them.

“Let go of us, and we won’t tell the great Technoblade about this!” The guard only let out a small chuckle as he led Tommy to a larger room.

Behind Tommy was Ranboo and Tubbo who were being forced to go the same way as he was going.

Ranboo was panicking, his heart beat picking up to high speeds. Tubbo placed his hand on Ranboo’s shoulder, “Everything is going to be okay."

They were led into a large room, which Ranboo believed to be the throne room possibly due to the large throne which stood at the end of the room.

As they made it down the hall Ranboo began to make out the person sitting on the throne.

She stood around nine feet tall, maybe taller than that. Around her were 3 pairs of arms on either side of her, they weren’t attached to her body which made Ranboo wonder how she could move them. Around her arms were the regular blaze rods which circled around her.

Her crown looked like antlers; it was a crimson red. She was a sight to behold. Her dress.

Standing beside her throne were two guards, the one on her right had their mouth gaped open and the one on her left had a smile on their face, they stood around 9 feet.

The woman narrowed her eyes when she spotted the boys coming down the hall, standing up to her full height. She was actually thirteen feet tall, making her tower over the enderman and the others.

When they finally came to a stop the four guards kneeled in front of the empress. She glared at the three boys before drifting over to them.

Ranboo stared in awe when he made eye contact with her, she snarled, "I didn’t think that the Ender King would send one of his own kin to die, oh wait I forgot he already did that to every single one of his subjects, now the only ones left live in the overworld and here in the nether. He was too greedy, he wanted every biome and dimension in his world, he instead fucked it all up and caused a mass extinction.” her voice echoed around them.

“You talk too much, woman.” She narrowed her eyes at the blonde and growled, “You were caught stealing, and I do not-"

“We weren’t stealing, we were just borrowing.” The Empress let out a thunderous laugh.

“A thief and a liar, now what I was about to say, thieves in my kingdom are given the penalty of death.” Ranboo’s heart stopped.

“Now how would-“ she was interrupted by a loud voice, “Y/n! Stop!” The empress lifted her head trying to locate the source of the voice, when she saw it.

“Philza Minecraft,” she called out, he flew down the hall and landed in front of her, bowing his head in respect.

Phil had been brewing some potions with Techno when he noticed something was off.

“Techno. Does something seem a tad bit off to you mate?” Techno paused for a moment before shaking his head no.

“I think today has turned out to be a good day though, its been a while since we’ve had one of those.” Phil nodded before returning to brewing.

All of a sudden he let out a loud gasp making the pigeon hybrid jump slightly.

“The boys!”

“Y/n L/n, s’been a while.” he let out a small chuckle. He glanced at the boys shooting them a ‘we’ll talk when we get home’ look.

“We can talk in a few moments. I'm in the middle of something if you can’t see.” she glanced back at the boys.

Phil put his hands up in front of him, “Yeah, I noticed, but I have to interrupt you with this. I can’t let you execute them,” he let out a loud huff, “they’re mine."

The empress raised a brow, “They are your kids, I would have never known, I mean the blonde here shows no manners, and is a liar. The next one here is a ram hybrid and the other an enderman hybrid.”

“Yes, yes I know. The blonde is my son, the other two are his friends.” She let out a small chuckle, “For a moment I thought you had a way with the ladies."

“I must apologize for the three of them, if you may spare them and punish them some other way.” She raised a brow and let out a sigh.

“As long as they return what they have stolen and apologize, I will give them no punishment.” The blonde cringed slightly at the thought of apologizing to her.

The other two apologized right away while it took Tommy a bit more to get himself to apologize.

“Thank you Y/n,” Phil dipped his head for her. “We will meet again soon.” she nods a goodbye before taking her place on her throne once more.

Once they had been escorted out of the kingdom Phil had smacked all three of them on the back of the head. “What were you idiots thinking.” he placed his hand on his head, “My god you three could’ve died if I didn’t show up.”

“We had it under control.” The blonde whined, “No we didn’t.” the other two said in unison."

“You guys are supposed to have my back on these kinds of things.” Tommy let out an annoyed huff.

Let's just say that they were all grounded.

[doyouknowbtsswag]

Discs|Tommyinnit|

(Takes place as actual Minecraft)

Tommy adored listening to Music since he was younger because of his older brother, Wilbur. Tommy's childhood was something special to him. He had a loving family which consisted of a father and two older twins. His father better known as Philza Minecraft was the perfect father, he was protective of his children and made sure they weren't hurt. His older twins were almost like different people. Technoblade always had his guard up and never really shown his emotional side except when he needed to, which never really happened. Techno also loved Greek Mythology and could quote almost every story by heart. Wilbur was more into making songs and singing he never really enjoyed violence, so he would play on his guitar while Techno trained.

Aside from his family life he had two best friends which were just as important. Tubbo was his right-hand man and was the first person to talk to him. His other best friend, Y/n was the person who he could always lean on and wasn't afraid to show his raw emotions. Sure he wanted to show his tuff side but the day you saw him cry was the time Tommy realized he could rely on you the most. Don't get me wrong he could rely on Tubbo as well but he made sure to put on a tough act for the boy because of his family life.

Tubbo's family was not the best, his father would always yell and neglect him, let's not leave out the fact that he's a drunk. His father always likes that but after his mom died his dad was heartbroken and it affected him he didn't pay attention to how his son felt. Being 6 years old and his mother passing away Tubbo didn't have the best childhood. So Tommy made sure Tubbo could lean on him.

Tommy was certainly the ring leader of the gang. He always suggested pranks and decided on games to play. Tommy wasn't happy he was younger than Tubbo but was happy he was older than Y/n. He always felt the need to protect you with every strength he could muster. His favorite game showed that. They played a game many kids played, the Knight, Princess, and the villain. Of course, Tommy was the knight and you were the princess tubbo would be the villain but sometimes Wilbur would play with them. Wilbur being 11 towered over them and was much stronger than the little kids which would make it 10 times more fun.

On his 7th birthday, he had a small party nothing too big, just his family, you and Tubbo. Tubbo couldn't get him much so he made Tommy a bandana. Even though Tubbo felt bad he couldn't give Tommy anything grand Tommy appreciated the bandana and put it around his neck showing Tubbo he liked it. Wilbur, Techno, and Phil gave him a copy of the family photo. It was rare to be able to take a photo so getting a copy of one made it just as great of a gift. Then the final gift was from you. You knew he loved music so you tried to get at least one rare Disc, but you managed to get two.

He stared at the Discs in amazement quickly running to the old jukebox his father owned. He put in the disc Cat. He smiled at the sound of the music, let's just say it was his favorite birthday gift he ever got. He hugged you which made you blush but you hugged back smiling. The others were awed at the sight. Wilbur managed to take a quick picture and made a mental note to get it printed out. It cost a lot but the now 12-year-old would do anything for his little brother.

A few months later Tommy woke up to arguing between his brothers and father. He silently stepped down the stairs making sure to go as slow as possible.

"What is up with you lately dad! All you do is stay in your room! You left us to take care of Tommy ever since you got that stupid letter a few months ago! Tommy hasn't noticed because of us!" Techno whisper yelled trying not to wake up Tommy which was a little too late.

"Not only that but you try to redeem yourself by giving us small gifts! Sure I appreciate it but I know why you're doing it! You don't want anyone noticing you've been acting suspicious lately" Wilbur crossed his arms.

"Keep it down you're gonna wake your brother" Phil whispered trying to stall the sudden outburst by the twins.

Tommy ran upstairs quietly putting clothes on to run to your house. He climbed out his window carefully. He would occasionally climb out his window if he was grounded to walk to Tubbo's house or your house. Right now he was on the way to yours.

It took him 10 minutes to get to your house. He grabbed a small pebble and threw it at your window. He threw 2 more before you opened the window looking down at the boy.

"Tommy what are doing here," I said watching the boy climb up to my window. He looked upset. Sitting in my bed.

"They're fighting again..."

"Whos fighting?" I asked sitting next to him.

Tommy was looking down tears streaming his face.

"My brothers and dad" He whispered. "It happened last week too but it wasn't that bad but they've been fighting more recently and I don't like it" The 7-year-old sniffled.

"Do you know what they were arguing about?" I asked placing my hands gently on his.

"My dad has been acting differently apparently" He sighed wiping his tears " I didn't notice but apparently it's so obvious to Techno and Wilbur"

"Maybe your dad is working on something really important," I said not knowing how to fully answer.

"Probably" He muttered

"Hey, I know how to cheer you up!" I said running over to one of my chests.

I looked through a few chests trying to find a music disc to play for Tommy. When I finally found it I ran to the Jukebox and put it in the slot. The disc played Chirp throughout the room. I look over and saw Tommy smiling just a bit.

"How do you have so many Discs," Tommy asked standing up walking to the Jukebox.

"My grandpa had a bunch before he died, he gave them all to me because when I was younger all we did was listen to the discs" I smiled at the memory.

"So why did you give Cat and Mellohi to me?" He asked

"Because your my favorite person in the world" I looked at him smiling I could see his face turn red which made me giggle.

"You're my favorite person in the world too," Tommy said pulling me into a hug to which I hugged him back.

"Thank you..."

"Your welcome Toms"

He pulled away from the hug and looked out the window seeing the sun slowly rise.

"Oh crap, I have to go before I get caught" He panicked running to the window.

"wait!" I ran and grabbed Chirp from the Jukebox running to the window hanging me the disc. "Take it"

"But I thought-"

"Let that disc remind you of me if you ever need to let out your feelings"

"Thank you" He smiled kissing my cheek then climbing down the house.

"Thomas!" I shouted but still smiling.

"Bye" He grinned waving

"Be safe" I whispered watching him run off to his house.

Tommy ran as fast as he could to his house before the sun could rise any longer. He climbed up to his window jumping into his room. He was holding the disc carefully when he was climbing so he didn't scratch it. He laid in bed out of breath from running but thank god he made it back before anyone noticed.

A few weeks later you suddenly stopped coming over to play with him and Tubbo. Tommy just thought you had something to do with your family as you did every so often. Days turned into weeks. He sat every night looking at the picture Wilbur took on his birthday of you guys hugging. It didn't sit right that you hadn't shown up or even sent a message that you were away. It confused him.

The next day he begged his family to take him to your house. Yes, he knew how to get to your house but he still wanted one of his brothers to go with I'm knowing his father was still busy. Tommy asked Wilbur in the morning but Wilbur said he was busy today and maybe tomorrow. Tommy had to go today no matter what so he ran to Technoblade's room knocking on the door. Only for Techno to say he was busy and not to bother him.

He sighed knowing he would have to go himself. He put his jacket on and shoes. He walked out of the house and made his way over to your house. Tommy ran to your house concerned, he had a bad feeling and wanted to make sure you were okay.

He saw your house and sprinted faster when he arrived he walked to the door seeing it partially opened. He opened the door all the way seeing the inside of the house destroyed. He walked inside looking around.

"Y/n?" He said seeing shattered glasses on the ground.

"Y/n?!" He saw blood on the ground which made his breath hitch.

"Y/N!" He ran up to your room panicked only to be faced with a pool of blood on the floor.

"No no no no no no," He said his body giving out on him making him fall to the ground blood getting on his clothes and shoes.

He didn't bother to get up and leave. He physically couldn't get up his body was in a paralyzed state so he was forced to lay where you possibly died. his breath was heavy and it was like he had no oxygen in his lungs. he wanted to cry for help but the way he was breathing, it was useless to try. He eventually passed out due to a lack of oxygen.

When he woke up it was night. He still laid in your bedroom but this time he could actually breathe. He then realized he had been gone all day and didn't know what time of night it was. Tommy slowly got up looking at his bloodied clothes. His tears silently fell as he made himself walk back to his house. He wasn't bothered by the noises of the creatures around the area. He couldn't care less if he got hurt because he had a bigger wound that no one would ever be able to fix.

The house lights were on and he saw people sitting outside. He walked closer and saw his family with worried looks on their faces. When they heard footsteps they looked to see Tommy slowly making his way to the door. Wilbur immediately ran up to the little boy pulling him into a hug.

"You had us all fucking worried!" He pulled away from the hug only then noticing the blood. "Holy shit your hurt"

Tommy just stood there no words came out of his mouth as his brother brought him inside to check his "wounds". He was sat on the kitchen counter as Phil raced to grab the first aid kit. when Wilbur went to take Tommy's shirt off to clean the "wound" He says nothing but dried blood.

"Tommy?..."

"She's gone....."

"What?"

"Y/N IS GONE!" His sudden outburst made the 14-year-old jump.

"She's dead Wilby" He sobbed Wilbur pulled the boy into a hug and tried calming down the younger boy. Tommy eventually fell asleep and Wilbur changed him into his pajamas taking the bloody clothes to the washer.

10 years later he sat in exile he lost his precious Discs and was now sent out of the land that he built with Wilbur and Tubbo when Phil went missing and Technoblade left. Wil eventually died by his own father. It was the first time he had seen Phil in 10 years only to see him kill one of the only people who stuck by him.

He then lost Tubbo who exiled him for a stupid prank he did on George's house with Ranboo. Tommy wasn't the type to snitch on someone so he took the blow for Ranboo. He had officially lost everything he ever cared about, the only thing he had left was a picture of you and him hugging when he was 7 years old.

"Tommy?...."

"Y/n?!"

------------------------------------------------------- Just thought of this randomly. ✨YOU ARE AMAZING AND PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE! YOU ARE WORTH IT ON SO MANY LEVELS✨

[goosedawn]

//Oh gods, welp, here I go [cracks knuckles]

//Tiny farmer Techno Au,,,, prepare for some future lore cjkhcxk

Timestamps from: "I Became the Mayor of Skyblock" by Technoblade

--

(5:39) "I decided to call in an old rival..." - Technoblade

Techno continues on with his life for days on, but finally, he somehow finds his way to society again, seeing that the entire town has been taken over by a tyrant of a mayor. The townspeople called for aid, and from the depths of his cold heart, he decided to help (....what do you mean he only did it so people would buy his potatoes-).

For a bit, he did his work by himself, only getting help from some other living scarecrows (listen, I really like the idea of some scarecrows coming alive [cough] PHIL [cough]), TimeDeo and Jyn (...? Is that how you spell their name?). (Dunno what the process for taking over the mayor would be exactly but,,, chchskdlcx,,,)

But you can only do so much work with... living scarecrows. With a bit of reluctance, he calls for help from SquidKid. And then together they defeat Dante :]

(Also, it's funny to think that the town has a mayor that they've never seen. All they know is that the previous mayor is gone, and the new one is pretty chill. /Lh)

--

(6:31) "Is there any way to do the teleport room without just like.. guessing?" - SquidKid

(6:36) "You are like... little baby, watch this." - Technoblade

-

Being tiny has its perks.

"Wait, what do you mean you can solve this maze in an hour or less?"

Techno turned towards the bigger hybrid, crossing his arms as he nonchalantly stared up at them. SquidKid only gives him a baffled look back, their tentacle-like hair slightly sprung up to further show their confusion.

He knows this only because he's known the man for far longer than they've known him.

He knows more personal information than should be shared, somehow finding the other farmer's parent's numbers along with a few other things. He had jokingly pocketed away the parent's number in the back of his mind, although, he had no real plans of ever using it. Well, maybe he had played with the idea of calling SquidKid's parents to dunk on the fact that a wild borrower had been winning their competition, but he ultimately decided not to for obvious reasons.

He knows the hybrid's schedule like the back of his hand, having to work around it for the better part of an entire year. Using that knowledge, he had sabotaged countless of SquidKid's tools, poking small, unnoticeable holes into their hoses and irrigation systems.

And he knows SquidKid's behavior from how they speak to how they express any sort of emotion. Lies were easily debunked from the small twitch of the corner of their mouth as they suppressed a smile, and anger was easily shown from how their strange hair pieces would spike up.

Yet, he can't help but feel slightly at unease in front of them. He supposes it's only natural, seeing that there's a huge height difference between them. Plus, this was practically the first time they've been closer than two fields of length in between them. Well, disregarding the times he's gone snooping around the bigger farmer's place, but that's neither here nor there.

"Squid, look at me," he raises his hand, gesturing towards himself, "I'm tiny, yes?" the squid hybrid nodded slowly, and he pointed at the stalks of tall fern and crop, "to you, this would basically be a wall you can't get through. For me, though...."

He jumped off his perch, tightly holding his trusty bag and sliding towards the flora before easily disappearing behind the thicket and appearing moments later at eye level, holding the stalk of the crops easily,

"It's easy to go through."

SquidKid makes a quiet 'oh' sound with another nod of their head, looking slightly in awe. The amazed look turns to one of confusion again, though, and he awaited their next question with a raised eyebrow, "but... the maze is big, how are you going to get through it all without tiring?"

Techno grinned, lifting a hand to his mouth and loudly whistling. He doesn't hesitate to slide back to the floor as a blur of white fur bounds towards him.

"Carl!" he exclaims, wrapping his hands around the rabbit's fluffy neck and combing through the fur with his fingers. He backs away to pull out a broken-off piece of a carrot, feeding it to the eager bunny before turning towards the astonished squid hybrid with a grin, "my noble steed," he waves a hand towards the still feeding rabbit.

"You tamed a rabbit," they dumbly point out, having to metaphorically pick up their jaw off of the floor.

"Yup, I did. you can stop gawking now," he huffed, "you're going to catch a bug with your mouth if you keep your mouth wide open."

"...And you named it Carl?"

"What kind of question is that?" he snorts, shaking his head, "yes, I named him Carl, and yes he's going to be the one helping me through the maze. Any other silly questions?"

The man stumbles over their words for a second, and he amusedly watches from below, "I- yeah, yeah, you bozo," they finally settle on saying.

"Alright, cool, I'm going to go find the exit now," he turns away from the hybrid, climbing on the back of the rabbit's back, "see you there."

He doesn't give SquidKid the chance to respond, already setting off through the thicket. And he sure doesn't suppress the grin that crawls up his face as Carl bounds past stalks and stalks of crops.

Having distracted SquidKid enough to get away, the bigger farmer had barely thought to ask how they themselves would traverse the maze.

They must have realized soon enough, though, since not seconds later, he hears a strangled yell of his name along with a loud groan.

--

Pain, it's been too long since I've written something /Lh

--

"(Also, it's funny to think that the town has a mayor that they've never seen. All they know is that the previous mayor is gone, and the new one is pretty chill. /Lh)"

When the townspeople come to greet the new mayor, they come thinking that it's SquidKid who's done everything since it's always been SquidKid going into town and doing the talking- the scarecrows being unable to do so for obvious reasons, and Techno unable to do so without revealing his entire existence.

So when the sheepish farmer calmly explains that he's just a helper of the mayor, they're... rightfully confused. At first, they want to know the real identity of the mayor, but SquidKid wearily tries explaining that said mayor really doesn't want to be revealed. They only conceded when he shakily points to the unknown farmer's territory, most of them getting the message.

Techno is very thankful that SquidKid doesn't take his title and also doesn't reveal his existence.

-

"It would have been so easy for the squid hybrid to just pluck his tiny form from their back pocket and shove the wrathful spotlight onto him.

He wasn't even able to even escape now as he found himself stuck in the hybrid's pocket. The crowd had come quickly after SquidKid had removed the other mayor for him, and he remembered feeling panicked as he stared at the other hybrid. The next thing he knew, he was shoved into their pocket.

He couldn't get out without tumbling to the ground with a splat, and, even worse, the possibility of one of the townspeople pointing him out with gossip-drinking eyes was incredibly high too.

He shakily gulped, greedily taking the air around him as he tried to stay calm. He never liked being near anyone- not even the scarecrows - so the second-hand contact with his past rival was not the finest experience.

"I- uhm," the squid hybrid stumbled over their words, "t-the mayor really would rather not... have the entire town to greet them.."

The crowd hushedly mumbled to each other, and one straggler called out, "well, tell them to come out anyway!"

By the Blood God, he hated this. He shrunk to the bottom of the pocket. This was one of the worst worries for a borrower; he had already been pushing his limit with the scarecrows and SquidKid, but this was another level for him.

"...Uh, well, in that case," he felt SquidKid shift, and a hand brushed over his pocket. He tenses, waiting for the fingers to tug him out and waiting for SquidKid to finally prove that they're not as kind as they look, for them to finally get some semblance of petty revenge.

"You can find them over there." He pauses, confused to as why there's no hand reaching down for him. The words finally dawn on him, and he's both relieved and perplexed to what SquidKid could have meant by that.

But hatever they've done has made the crowd fall unnaturally silent, and so he's at least a little relieved for that too.

The same voice that was brave enough to speak before pipes up, "you mean the ghost farmer?"

....He didn't know that the townspeople had come up with a name for him, but he's suddenly thankful that he's gained enough popularity that people stop and gawk.

"Y...Yes," SquidKid slowly acknowledges the villager, "they were the one orchestrating all of this. I was just helping with the... talking parts," the hybrid is silent for a moment before they burst into a stammering mess,

"And- uh, I-I should take my leave now, b-because I should really h-head back and ch-check up on them," he feels the bigger farmer start to take a few steps back, supposedly away from the crowd, "I'll answer any questions later!"

He has to push against the fabric to keep himself from bouncing around in the pocket as SquidKid starts running. He faintly hears the townspeople shout for the male, but it's muffled through the fabric.

As it starts to seem as if the squid hybrid would never stop running, they finally start to slow down, their breaths coming out labored and airy.

He doesn't speak up for a moment, letting the other regain themselves first. When they finally seem well enough, he speaks up,

"That's the best you can come up with?"

--

chKFCHKDSJFSDF oh my Primes, this is so LONG,,,, I have no idea how to write SquidKid,,,, plus, I had no idea how to like,,, oOGHgds,f,, pain.

Anyways, hope you had fun reading ALL of this cchjxcvxkdsf,,,

AAUBHJDUHFJHBFNDKUFHN WENDYYY /POS

i dont have anything to add this is just fantastic,,,,, DEO AND JIYN AS SCARECROWS AS WELL,,, FBJHDKUHSJHHDV,,,,,, i love that techno gets to have Carl still 🥺🥺🥺 and him leaving squidkid on the other side of the maze??? FHJBDJNJKBF

ALSO 🥺 squid protecting techno and not telling people abt him,,,,, aaajfhkdojfh good,, i also appreciate that everyone in the village just has to be like. "the ghost farmer is mayor????... well this isnt the weirdest thing thats happened to me"

SQUIDKID RUNNING AWAY,,,, "ill answer any questions later" djhshhjhjhbhbfhdjhbe

*holds this gently* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i adore

[rhaenyraisadyke]

A Year Later Transcript: 8/3/21

Here it all is on a google doc if that is easier to read!

W: “I heard there was a special place.. Where men could go and emancipate.. The brutality and the tyranny of their rulers…” Do you know that one Ranboo?

R: I have I have I have, I’ve heard that one a few times, I had a friend that sings that one quite a lot.

W: Yeah it's great, I- I personally, I am a big big fan of the song and not just because I wrote it, I know, I know they saw aww yeah they say you are your own worst critic, but I mean, I think it's good. Do you know what it's based on?

R: Mhm mhm

W: Obviously it's based on hallelujah, but the thing is Ranboo, right is the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing hallelujah to the plants around the thing... the caravan! Do you remember the caravan? You have heard of the caravan right?

R: Yeah, yeah I’ve heard of it and seen the re-creation of it at the museum, but that's really it.

W: Actually can we go see it? Let's go see it quickly!

R: Yeah, sure.

W: So, so, he used to plant the stuff around the caravan, and it made it grow better, he hehe used to ha, my man Tommy, what is this? This is new.. I won’t ask questions…

R: I- Someone planted a lot of beats here and I don’t know why

W: OH, okay I quite like it, it looks really nice, it looks nicer than the target that used to be here. Um

R: Yeah

W: So my man Tommy used to sing to the plants to make them grow better um and that was the song he used to sing so I thought what a better way to honor tommy, one of the most loyal members of our fair nation then to name the song after him and base the song after his little muse. Tommy is all of our muse really, I'd say. So here's the museum.

R: Yeah, Yeah

W: I haven't been to the museum, wait las- that's where I met you Ranboo right?

R: Oh yeah yeah, that's where you saw me next to the um poster of myself… I don't know why that's still up, I kinda put that there and it preceded to stay there, is it still set up? Oh, oh no.

W: It’s not still up anymore it was here, it was right here on this wall. I quite liked it, but I guess not enough for it to be history though.

R: I’m not historical yet apparently.

W: So yeah in here, in here where the declaration of independence would sit on the wall here, it was actually quite, quite a nice van, not quite as nice as yours, I quite liked what you were doing with yours. Have you been working on it since I’ve been gone?

R: Yeah I’ve been working on it. I added a nice little table outside and did some pathways and appropriately themed flowers.

W: Thats nice

R: Yeah!

W: Let's go to Lmanburg or what was lmanburg, last time I saw it was a big glass thing.

R: Yeah I think it goes by Lmanhole now apparently.

W: Ahh ehh, that's kind of rude, it's kind of rude to Lmanburgs history you know?

R: mhm

W: It’s called Lmanburg, it's called Lmanburg. NOT Manberg NOT Lcrater or whatever, Lmanhole I don’t care it's now Lmanburg it's always Lmanburg. It’s just how it goes.

R: Okay

W: Yeah so that's why the song exists as it is. Oh there's no glass.

R: Yeah! Yeah I mean it seems to have changed a little bit.

W: YOOOO I actually didn’t know this was here

R: Yeah! It’s even got the flag down there at the bottom

W: It’s got the flag man! Can we go down and see the flag? Cmon Cmon lets go

R: Yeah yeah wait you alright?

W: I’m like a lemming I don’t care I’m just gonna jump

R: Oh well okay… careful!

W: Look at this dude!

R: Yeahh

W: Oh wow I really went down to bedrock didn't I? Holy Shit.. I did a number on this place. This is amazing!! Ahhh This is what it deserved, not the glass bullshit, this is what it needed, this like beautiful overgrowing, it feels like it happened, it doesn't feel like a monument, it feels like nature has claimed it back,

R: The book has kind of closed in that sense

W: Yeah.. we’ve got, look they have got they rebuilt the lake man! And this used to be a real river about here into Lmanburg- wait, Ranboo do you see that is that Tubbo?

R: Yeah… that's Tubbo

W: Aye Tubbo!

T: “I heard there was a special place where men could go and emancipate…”

W: Tubbo?

T: “ the tyranny” - oh?

W: Tubbo!

T: Hello?

W: Haha! You’ve came, I- I havent seen you dude in FUCKING ages! Tubbo, are you singing the song?

T: Yeah… Yeahhh?

W: Are you? Are you singing the thing?

T: Yeah hello?

W: Hold on I’m coming im coming im coming man

T: Where are you?

W: Hold on, I'm coming around, here I come, Tubbo man! I haven't seen you in ages!

T: H-H..Hello.. Wilbur..

W: I’m coming around man!

T: Yeah aha…

W: Bro! Its-

T: Weird seeing you here.

W: What in Lmanburg? That seems like the most normal place to see me.

T: Uhh yeah I suppose so

W: Well I- dude I don’t even know what to say to you man, it's like looking in a little mirror, you are even still wearing my suit still?

T: Yeahh

W: How long have you been wearing that?

T: Oh I just put it on for today, I just for it's been a year now…

W: Well you look good in it! Ranboo have you met Tubbo?

R: Yeah! Well I’ve I’ve met him, I mean we’ve um… been around yeah

W: Well Tubbo I’m really happy to see you man, dude

T: Ah, well thank you.

W: Do you even know what happened? Since,

T: What do you mean what's happened?

W: I saw you briefly man when I was resurrected, I remember you SUPER SUPER briefly but this is the first time we have actually gotten to speak, I- I will admit I was a little overwhelmed during that whole thing. I was running across the glass, thank god it's gone, this is far more adpt, but I was running across the glass, I’m sorry I wasn't you know, entirely on the same page, but I promise you I’ve calmed down I’m all settled in, I understand what's changed, what's happened whos new, whos old whos still about who uh…. Who trusts me and stuff

T: Did they fill you in on the story? Like what happened here after you died?

W: Yeah, they did, I’m gonna be honest with you it's not a pretty one, I kind of left a bit of a ripple. If I was a rock, dropped in a lake, I’m a pretty big rock

T: You- yeah’

W: And I can’t say I’m not- I’m not flattered. I mean I am flattered, I’m not TOO upset about it, I like being the big ripple, but more than anything, I want to say super simple man. I want to say. I want to say I’m sorry

T: Awe

W: For one thing mainly, I’ve been thinking about this for years, LITERAL years. I’m sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up and I’m sorry for when I did this and blew all this up and making this hole,

T: Well I mean-

W: and making you president of a crater and i'm sorry. I’m really really sorry. I really am

T: I mean this wasnt all you Wilbur….

W: We’ll get to that, do you? Do you forgive me?

T: Yeah, I do forgive you

W: Man, ahhh my little treasury, secretary treasury, do you remember that?

T: Yeah yeah I remember that. Secretary to treasury

W: Ranboo he was the secretary to treasury and then he was president

R: Yeah

W: And then he was president

T: Yeah I’m pretty sure the treasury was like somewhere there.

W: So what were you saying about me not being the one there who blew it up?

T: Well I mean you definitely blew it up. I feel like you’re missing some vital information.

W: Wait, so you rebuilt it? How long -how long did it stand before this happened?

T: Yeah so, me, and mainly ghostbur honestly like

W: ….ghostbur….

T: He- put so much effort into making it right again.

W: Is he this obsidian crap I take it and these uh? Fucking lanterns

T: You know dream?

W: Yeah I know Dream- I love him. Dream’s Dreams

T: Oh..

W: Dreams probably my favorite person, sorry Ranboo i mean uh no contest here, Dreams probably my favorite person he saved me

T: Oh.. Oh..

W: He saved me he brought me back to life

T: Well um yeah I mean he was powerful I guess but um Techno and Philza yeah um

W: Techno and Phil blew this up?

T: They built this big obsidian contraption overnight… I couldn’t even see it coming. And they rained TNT for days.

W: nhh

R: Yeah…

W: And that's.. Wait hold on, why would Techno and Phil do this? Why would Techno and Phil blow up Lmanburg? Didn’t they live here? I mean I don’t know about Techno…

T: Techno and Phil, they hated the government, it was partially my fault as well…

W: But you didn’t blow it up

T: No, I didn't. I never wished for anything to happen like this.

W: So it was just Techno and Phil?

T: Y-y yes..

W: Sorry that's kind of just hit my not the blowing up part- You know I’ve done that,

T: Yeah

W: I’m not shaken up about that. I’m shaken up about man, is that, you rebuilt this! After I was gone

T: I can’t take all the credit obviously but there was a big effort

W: That fucking ghost- who cares man YOU rebuilt this! Bro, you

T: Yeah I suppose

W: MY fucking grave! I was so pressed about not having a grave, screw a grave I built something that you loved that YOU wanted to preserve… thats,

T: Yeah, I really honestly…

W: Tubbo that's worth more to me than a grave. That's worth more to me than this shrine. That's worth more to me then- Tubbo this is probably the best gift I have ever been given, this knowledge that people actually cared enough, that you cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.

T: Ahh, I’m glad you’re happy.

W: You… haha, sorry, aww man, Tubbo thank you.

T: It’s alright, I just feel lost without Lmanburg. All my core beliefs.. Everything died with it.

W: You feel lost without Lmanburg

T: I have no purpose.. Anymore.

W: I guess that's where anarchy fails… Tubbo, I have a little, a little thing coming. Not big, nothing much yet, ehh, it's not a big deal you know, it's a little burger van at the moment but I got plans, big plans. Tubbo it's called paradise

T: Paradise.

W: Yeah, yeah will, would you like to come join me in paradise? Literally?

T: Hmmmm, Id, I’m not sure Wilbur, I’m not sure I trust you man. In order to follow someone I need to trust them.

W: Wait… wait- but I thought you forgave me!

T: Yeah Wilbur I forgive you because I like to hang onto the hope that people change but, I don’t trust you yet Wilbur.

W: Okay… Taboo. I literally was dead for thirteen years. I know it wasn't long for you, I know it was only a couple months for you but thirteen years Tubbo… Thirteen years of my life. I am old! Look at me! I’m not the same young man you knew. I-I’ve been through it and in those years, I’ve learned Tubbo, i wasn't just sat twiddling my thumbs just going “oooh this is nice ohhh i'm in darkness right now” you know I was thinking. I relived that explosion in my head so many times man, and I get that you don’t trust me, I do but like man! Look at me bro, I’m not gonna do it again, I’m not gonna hurt you again. I’m not gonna you know… I know you, you had the festival with Technoblade, I never spoke properly to you about this.

T: mm

W: I could have saved you…

T: But you didn’t

W: I- Tubbo… I’m reaching out to you man, I’m on my knees.. I, I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry and I literally, your forgiveness means so much to me but it doesnt give up what I did to you and it doesnt give up how I failed you as a friend, you know eh, fuck being as a coworker but just you know anything… Ranboo you might know or have known all of this and I’m really sorry if this was your first of hearing I can explain later on but like..

R: Alright………

W: Tubbo, man, I’m, I want to make it up to you. And you know what? I appreciate you don’t trust me. I do.

T: Wilbur in order for you to gain my trust back you have to prove it first. I can’t just give it out anymore. I used to be able to, but I just, I just can’t.

W: Tubbo… I really appreciate it, and I mean that genuinely. I appreciate it and I am gonna go out and prove to you I’m worth being trusted again. I promise.

T: Okay…

W: I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll redeem myself and you'll.. Youll

T: Do you know I still have dreams right? Of the explosion… And, and of the fireworks. And all of it. I vividly see all of it every day. It HURTS. It hurts Wilbur a lot.

W: I- Tubbo, Tubbo, I know, I know, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo Tubbo, please, I know…. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I- arhh It feels like sorry is such a weak word. I feel like there's nothing stronger that I can say, and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will. Give me time. I’m gonna make something. I'm gonna make something of this and I’m gonna…

Uhhhh

Tubbo do you know how fucking strong you are? And I’m not trying to say - I’ve got your forgiveness, but I know I need to earn your trust but man… you're so strong man, genuinely. Just the fact you proved to me that just there that you have these memories and these nightmares, you still found it in your heart to forgive me, that's... You’re a fucking champion man. You’re a hero.

Look I get you don’t want to join me in paradise. We won’t talk about that anymore but, cmon, at least come and see, come and at least see what me and Ranboo have been doing! Look I don’t know- Ranboo are you? Are you and Tubbo friends? Are you and Tubbo like good friends?

R: Yeah, yeah I’d say so.

W: Then why don't you and him come and see what I’ve made! Come and see what I’ve got going on! Lets go lets go!

T: I think.. I think I’m gonna stay here, Wilbur. I think I’m fine, just to stay here.

W: No, no man, no worries. Look at me bro look at me bro! Chin up! Look, lucky rabbit's foot!

T: Okay…

W: Tommy gave it to me

T: Lucky Rabbit's foot…

W: Lucky Rabbit's foot man, chin up. Ranboo, I’ll, you can come, it's cool.

R: I will, I will. Do you need me to stay here?

T: No.. *sniffles* I’d like to be left alone please

R: Oh… you sure? I mean.. I can stay…

T: Yes. I’m fine

R:You sure? Okay...

W: Ranboo! Let's go man.

R: Yep! Lets- lets go

W: Cya tubbo! I’ll send a letter!

T: Uhuh

W: Comeon Ranboo

R: Alright

W: Ah man! It’s its I mean I I was gonna say this is hard, but obviously it's hard, I’ve -

R: It is, it is

W: It's difficult man and I’ve been you know it's gonna get better and it's gonna be worth it when I see them smiling.

R: Yeah, yeah

W: Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy, anyone… Do you know who the original Lmanburg group were? Do you know who we were?

R: Ah, uhh I think most of them yeah, I think it was you, Jack, Niki, Fundy I believe as well

W: Fundy was after, Fundy was a bit after we got independence

R: mhm yeah I don’t really. I don’t really know much of lmanburg history

W: That’s alright you’ve got it down, it's correct. It’s that group and we um yeah we fought against Dream and we managed to succeed and we created a life process. Ranboo I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone, I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want uh people to use it against me is the main problem. I didn’t even tell Tommy. I- I lied to Tommy I’m gonna be honest. I’ll tell him soon

R: Yeah

W: I’ll tell him I lied to him because I feel- it kind of eats away at me. I kind of- I told Tommy that I didn’t actually care about Lmanburg and that it was actually a tool for me to get and gain power and stuff but it's not true. Lmanburg was really important to me and it is still to this day. I want it, I want its history to live on, not as a stain caused by me because I basically took a bit shit on the history books. I wanna, I wanna make it feel like it was you know something that happened and it was a great thing. Think of the good times, the years and years well not years but you know the time of safety the time of fun, prosperity! We built parks, we built you know, no taxes, big walls, we had democracy! All be a slightly disjointed version of it but you know, that's how people should remember Lmanburg, that's what people think of when they think of our nation you know? And that's, and Tubbos the last connection we really have, I mean he, he said it himself, he's kind of you know… he's got nothing without it. I’ve heard of what Tommy, Tommys you know moved on and Jacks moved on and Niki’s moved on and everyones moved on at least partially… but Tubbo man, he's still……

R: Yeah he's still very strung up about it even though it's been awhile… He, he distracts himself with projects and everything which is nice but, you

W: Heh, projects

R: I mean yeah fortifications as well

W: I think he's gonna be alright

R: I hope so

W: I’m looking out for him. Anyway I want to say thank you Ranboo for you know trusting me this quick, I mean you barely know me

R: I mean, yeah

W: You barely have known me very long and you just know you’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me and I- I- you know I don’t I don’t know where I’d be without you here right now, man. T-Tommy’s great and all he's here and all but I don't wanna string him along too much because hes- I, when I look at him, when I look at him and he's helping me out and building things with me, I - I see the same eyes that looked at me when… when… there weren't some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia I wasn't a very well man, and I can just see Tommy from that day…

oH!! Ranboo! This looks great man!

R: Yeah yea, I’ve made a couple of um changes to it. Added some stuff to it

W: Like I was saying though, I appreciate it, I really appreciate it.

R: Yeahh, yeah of course! Of course

W: May I ask, I know I’ve already asked this before but why do you trust me so fast? What's the…?

R: I mean I like to normally see the good in people and everything.

W: I know we’ve gone through that and you’ve made me cry just

R: Yeahhh, sorry about that, but I- I think the reason I think I know what it's like to have no one hurt or at least feel like no one trusts you.

W: Mhm

R: Um, and I- I’ve realised that if no one is with you, then how can anyone really know when you’ve redeemed yourself. So that's why I’m here

W: You wanna see the fireworks?

R: Well maybe not the fireworks but, I mean at least

W: Ceremonial

R: At least when you change er redeem yourself I think it- it's good to have someone there and it's not nice to be alone all the time so…

W: My boy! Ranboo, I knew

R: Yeah!

W: I knew I could trust you. We got the exact same mindset I’m thinking of ahh Ranboo I love what you have done with the burger van

R: Thank you, I’m glad you like it

W: I think this is going to be a beginning of a beautiful partnership,

R: Yeah!

W:beautiful friendship, and maybe when Tubbo comes we can you know have a big party and all get to know each other a bit better.

R: Yeah I can, I can talk with him I think and maybe get him to uh join hopefully

W: Yeah, don’t pressure him. He doesn't have to join, he just needs to come. I just want him to come and see our patented burgers!

R: Yeah!

W: Our burgers, our burger NFTS he needs to come and try them! Ranboo. Thank you man

R: You’re welcome, I’m glad that I could help out a little bit at least.

W: You’re a brilliant man and I'm going to go now a happy man.

R: That's good, I’m glad you’re happy.

W: Thank you Ranboo. Buh Bye. Ah, I love that guy bro!

[marserpent]

[Retirement arc hc moments, osmp hc]

Note: I am not a writer and English isn't my first language. I just tried to write something dhkanksja

Techno sat down besides Phil as they both watched the sun go down. The sky is painted in pink, orange, and red — such warm tones in contrast to the cool breeze of the biome. It has been a long day for both of them, searching for turtles wasn’t that easy. Nevertheless, they still had so much fun since they rarely get the chance to see each other — with Phil living in L’manberg and Techno living far from it.

“Random question, mate,” Phil suddenly blurted out while still staring at the sunset. Techno glanced at him as he waited for Phil to continue. “Say there’s an alternate universe, what would you like to be? What kind of life do you dream of?”

Techno stared at nothingness for a brief moment as he thought for a response. It’s a question he never expects to have an answer. Somehow, for him, he’s already living the life that he wanted: away from L’manberg, away from everyone, alone in a snowy biome where he could live in peace. “I’m not sure, I don’t know. What about you?”

“If there’s an alternate universe,” he paused for a second. “I wish I’m still flying over there,” a sad smile spread across Phil’s face. He slowly raised up his broken wing, just a bit higher for the wind to dance with the feathers of it. Techno stared at it with melancholy in his eyes. The man who once flew up in the clouds, wings ever glorious that anyone who looked upon him would hold their breaths in awe, now broken as a reminder of a painful day, of the 16th of November. “Perhaps, they could call me the crowfather,” he chuckled.

“That would be great,” Techno smiled. “You could build a birdhouse or something.”

“Oh, I would definitely do that,” Phil laughs to change the atmosphere. “How about you? Have you thought of an answer?”

Blood for the Blood God.

Blood for the Blood God.

Blood for the Blood God.

“Yes,” Techno stared down at his hooves. “I’d like to be an ordinary human.”

Techno removed his enchanted netherite helmet from his head and stared at the faint reflection of his face. He shifted into his human form, a form that most people have no knowledge about. It’s a form where he’s vulnerable, weaker, more like a… person rather than a weapon.

“I know it’s kinda amazing to be a piglin hybrid, it’s cool, not gonna lie,” he chuckled. “But it’s tiring, you know? It’s tiring to be Technoblade — one of the strongest warriors who can take down an army, he who always wins in battles and wars, he who has an entity in his head. It’s tiring to constantly be on high alert in case someone might come and assassinate you. It’s tiring to live a life where you always have to hide your vulnerabilities because other people might use it against you. I just want to live in peace, Phil. I just want to live like a normal, ordinary, human being… maybe become the best potato farmer again.”

They both smiled at the last bit of what he said. They looked up at the sky and realized that the sun had already gone down. The stars are now slowly showing up, giving light to the world that has been embraced by darkness. Despite the coldness, they feel the warmth inside their hearts from the conversation that just took place.

“I should probably head back to L’manberg,” Phil said and readied his trident.

“Aight, see you soon, I guess,” Techno shifted back to his piglin form and put back the helmet on his head. “Take care, Phil.”

“You too, mate,” Phil smiled. They pressed their foreheads against each other’s, like how they always do every time they part ways. “Will always be by your side, remember that.”

"Thank you, Phil."

"Of course."

-

Inspired by this video.

[luci-bae]

Chorus Fruit

Cross posted on Ao3 and Wattpad by the same name :)

Puffy stood in front Sam with Foolish by her side. Sam stared quizzically and was confused on why she was here. Sam knew of Puffy’s relation to Dream and he knew Dream was a dangerous fellow that was manipulative and knew how to use his words. Sam didn’t think it was best for either Puffy or Foolish to enter the prison, but Puffy held her ground and somehow convinced Sam to let her in. Foolish who had been watching from the side was impressed by his mother’s skill.

“Listen Puffy, I just don’t think you should visit him.”

“Why not? I should be able to see my duckling Sam.”

“It’s the fact that he’s your duckling I feel you shouldn’t go.”

“Sam what could he possibly say? ‘Mom I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to’? He’s an adult Sam that shit won’t work on me.”

“... Alright but the moment I feel you’re gonna fall for his mind games I’m dragging you back. Same goes for you Foolish.”

“Mhm understood Sam.”

“Thank you Sam for trusting me.”

They went through everything they needed to and soon the three stood in front of the lava wall. On the other side Dream sat and Puffy was anxious to see her duckling again. Foolish was nervous to meet the infamous Dream. He knew of the horrible things Dream did and just how manipulative he was. Both their nerves were on fire and every slight sound made them jump.

When the lava was gone Puffy instantly noticed the man in the orange suit sitting on floor writing. His mask was off and on the floor but his face was turned away. Dream refused to let Sam see him without it. Once Puffy and Foolish were there Dream put on his mask and looked at them. Puffy saw him and rushed over to hug him.

“DUCKLING!! What hell is wrong with you?! You can’t seriously think what you did was okay?!”

“Mom.. I’m sorry.. I never wanted any of this to happen..”

Puffy knew that tone of voice, the somber low level. He was about to start crying and while Puffy knew she should leave right here and now, to yell for Sam to pull her back. She had to stay here.. She had to stay here and comfort her duckling, because that’s what good parents do..

“Duckling… What do you mean?”

‘“I never wanted to do the..hic...horrid things I did to Tommy… I never even wanted the exile to last all that long!”

“So why did you do it?”

“It wasn’t m-me Mom! I-I promise!”

“Duckling, calm down… Please tell me what happened.”

“It was DiDi.. He took over d-during the trip to take Tommy out...outside the city. I.. I was stuck watching ME d-doing horrific actions… Actions I’d never wanna do.. Please Mom, you know about DiDi. please believe me!”

Puffy was conflicted. She knew she shouldn’t believe him, knew that he was manipulative. But she knew about DiDi, that damned deity, and how likely was it that her Duckling, the boy she had taken under care when he was little, how likely was it he’d lie to her? Puffy should’ve left but she didn’t, she hugged her son and told him everything was gonna be okay heartbreaking with every sob she heard. 

Foolish watching as this happened and while he didn’t know Dream well from the things he’s heard, he assumed Dream was a tough cutthroat killer that felt no remorse. The Dream before him right now was nothing like the rumors. And if what he was saying was true, he never wanted to be all those things. Foolish looked around the room and noticed the book Dream had been writing in. It looked like a one-sided conversation but he was unable to decipher whether or not Dream was the one talking in the book.

“Dream please take off the mask..”

“Mom..”

“Take off the mask… take it off so I know… it's my son under there..”

When Dream took the mask off Foolish was unable to see his face but from the reaction Puffy gave he could only assume it was good. Puffy on the other hand stared at her son with a sad smile. The inky black tears that ran down his face was proof enough that it was Dream. Ever since he popped out that end portal and she took him in, he always cried black tears and bled black blood. She knew she’d have to explain a lot to Foolish but that could wait. She washed the mask in the sink and wiped her son’s face before giving it back. 

“If what you’re saying is true Duckling.. I will find a way to get you out.”

She hugged Dream and left with Foolish. Dream sat back down on the floor and watched them leave. Once they were all gone and he was alone he started laughing. He called out for someone and there was a splash from this little landing pad. DiDi crawled out laughing with him. 

“ ‘Mom please be-believe me!!’ My god Dream you sure you aren’t an actor?? Hahahah!!”

“Aw what can say DiDi, I’m just that good! Hahaha poor mom!”

“Her little duckling is an evil lil shit!”

Dream went up to the deity and gave the floating man a pat on the back. Puffy’s visit was unexpected and Dream had to hide the god so she wasn’t suspicious. DiDi teased Dream about becoming an uncle right after being imprisoned. But Dream was more curious on where he could go after escaping.

“Well that Tubbo kid started a new village.. You could always hide out there.”

“Really? Where is it?”

“It’s somewhere over there actually really close by. The kid named it ‘Snowchester’. Actually looks pretty good.”

“Who’s living there?”

“Uhh Manifold and Foolish. They’re the only ones living there at the moment.”

“Now how to get out..”

‘’Well you could cash in that favor from Techno and you always got Ranboo willing to help. I’ve been making sure of that.”

“DiDi you sick bastard, that’s amazing.”

“Yes, yes I know I’m amazing.”

“Puffy, Techno, and Ranboo are my only allies besides you at the moment. I need more people to visit me..”

“So you can give them the same sob story and gain their pity?”

“Mhm you know it buddy.”

They continued to talk and by the time XD left, hours had gone by. Dream spent the night walking the length of his cell and writing. His writing was frantic and wouldn’t make sense if you read it, which was everything he needed. He could spin a story from it and no one would question him about it. Meanwhile outside Puffy and Foolish were walking back to her home.

Foolish had wondered what that was about but knew this wasn’t the right time to ask. So he wait till Puffy was sitting at her table before speaking.

“Hey Mom?”

“Yea?”

“What was that today??”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Why did you say you were gonna get him out?! What is wrong with Dream!?”

“Listen Foolish, it.. There’s a lot to explain.. And to that.. I gotta start from the beginning..”

Puffy went to the kitchen and began making tea for the two of them. The sound of running water and the gentle wind helped calm Foolish’s nerves but he still couldn’t help but feel like he was going to learn something he shouldn’t. When Puffy returned she handed him a mug and sighed before speaking.

“It was ages ago but I still remember the day like yesterday.. I was mining for Niki because she needed something.. I think ores? Whatever it’s not important.. But while I was down there I came across an End portal..”

“An end portal? Isn’t the End off limits?”

“It wasn’t back then.. Back then there were plenty of portals no one felt the need to go though.. Anyways.. I was marking the area.. So Niki and I could visit.. But.. But as I did someone came out the portal.. A child.. He couldn’t have been older than 5.. He was just so cute.. Sandy blonde hair with the brightest of green eyes..”

Puffy’s voice was cracking and she stared into her mug with tears welling up in her eyes. She was trying to get the next few words out but couldn’t. It hurt so much to think back on the old days. All the smiles, all the laughs, all of it hurt so much. Everything was so much darker now and it made her miss the days when she could go outside and not see the egg or worry about her son.

“Mom.. I’m sorry you don’t have to continue..”

“It’s fine Foolish.. The little boy popped out the portal eating a chorus fruit.. I was so worried.. And my worry.. It only grew when DiDi showed up.. DiDi is the name Dream.. It’s the name Dream gave it.. It’s proper name.. If you could even call it that.. Was DreamXD. DiDi gave me a bag of chorus fruit and started to cover it.. I don’t know why.. DiDi and Dream came out of the portal and I don't know why the portal was closed off afterward.. But Dream was my son and I couldn’t give him up.. I just couldn’t.”

Foolish stood and hugged the crying Puffy silently wishing that he didn’t ask the question. He knew Dream was different but he never could’ve guessed he came from the End. Why did DiDi come out after him though? The two had to be correlated but how? Foolish didn’t have time to think about it, his mother needed comforting. 

Puffy cried as she thought about her sons, Niki, and her friends. Oh god all of them, they were all so important to her and she just let them slip away.. She should’ve been able to stop Dream from doing those things, convinced Niki to stay, or at least stopped Bad from touching the egg. All her friends and family were in danger and she left so useless. Why wasn’t she able to do anything to help them?

When Foolish returned home that day he was conflicted to say the least. He wasn’t here to see the things Dream had done nor was he here to see to him in the same light Puffy did. But today he learned things many others probably didn’t. How likely was it that people knew Dream came from the End? How likely was it that they knew Dream and DreamXD came right after each other? 

Foolish knew he would need to talk to Dream personally about this, but first he had to talk to DiDi. Foolish was preparing to leave when he ran into Tubbo who was working on his farms. The boy had no clue of what Foolish planned to do and he wanted to keep it that way. 

“Oh hey Foolish! What ya up to?”

“Hey there Tubbo! Oh nothing much what’s up with you?”

“Ah just farming and the like. Uh where are you going?”

“Oh I’m just going exploring might run into some interesting caves!”

“...Okay… Good luck then. See ya around!”

Foolish rushed off and Tubbo eyed him curiously as he walked away. Tubbo was suspicious but he had nukes to test so Foolish could wait for now. He made a mental note to keep an eye on him though. Foolish went to the Nether to collect blaze rods and potion making supplies. He would need the potions to protect him and he wanted to be as prepared as possible. He passed Ranboo but ignored him trying to do what he needed and leave the endless nether. Ranboo noticed Foolish’s flighty behaviour and decided to follow him.

Ranboo didn’t know why he was following Foolish but he knew he had to. Something was telling him to follow and he decided to trust it. He saw Foolish enter a Nether fortress and assumed he would be farming wither skulls but his heart fell to his stomach when he realized he was getting blaze rods. He was collecting more than needed for potions and he hoped Foolish was just over stocking but as he saw the man start looking for ender pearls he knew exactly what Foolish planned to do. 

Why was Foolish heading for the End? What could he possibly need? Ranboo’s mind was spinning as questions whirled through it. He needed to know more, maybe he could stop Foolish. Anything to prevent him from entering the end. But why was Ranboo so concerned about someone entering the End? How was it an issue for him? So many questions and so little answers..

It's when they’re in the stronghold does Ranboo reveal himself and Foolish immediately draws his sword. Ranboo throws his hands up and backs up mumbling things and silently begging for Foolish not to kill him.

“What are you doing here, Ranboo?”

“Listen I could ask you the same question Foolish..”

“I’m here to try and get much needed answers. Why are you?”

“The same reason! I want to know why you’re trying to get into the End. And I want-.. No I need to know what’s been going on..”

“Explain.”

“Alright so I sleepwalk nothing new there… but I lost my beacon one night.. And my pickaxes show signs of intense use.. I don't know where or why my things are like this and I need answers!”

“So you follow me? What makes you think I know?”

“Nothing but something.. I don’t know what is telling me to follow you..”

“...”

“Please Foolish let’s work together to understand.. And if it doesn’t help we forget this ever happened.. Okay?”

“Okay then.. Let’s go.”

Ranboo was thankful that he wouldn’t be dying soon but was fearful as they approached the portal. Foolish placed the Eyes of Ender in the frames and right before he placed the last one a loud bang and a bright light filled the room. Wind rushed through the underground room blowing out the torch's warm light. Soon the torches relit with a bright green light making the ominous being more intimidating and eerie.

The being floated above the portal and wore long flowing robes. He wore a mask similar to Dream’s except he had an ‘XD’ face  instead of a smiley face. Though the mask was smiling he could tell that being behind it wasn’t. It was cold and quiet and they regretted their decision to come here. 

Before either the two could speak the deity began talking. Its voice low and heavy, each word sounding like a threat.

“What are you doing here?”

“We’re here to ask you a few questions.” Foolish stated this, his voice slightly wavering while Ranboo stood back slightly afraid. This god, if you could call it that seemed, familiar. Ranboo can’t remember ever meeting him, but he looked at Ranboo like he knew who he was.

“Well then what questions have you come to ask mortals.”

Foolish looked at Ranboo before speaking. He knew this would come out sooner or late but he wasn’t sure of his reaction. However he chose to risk it.

“Why did Dream come out of the Ender portal? And why did you follow afterwards?”

“Oh so Captain Puffy told you I assume? Did she tell you the full story?”

“...”

“No? How sad.. Well I wouldn’t mind telling you the truth.. I know Puffy finds that hard to do...”

“Alright then get to talking1”

“Eager are we? Well I pushed Dream out the portal after learning of a child living there. On the other side there was Puffy and I figured she’d be able to find the boy a good home. I stayed here to make sure no one else fell into and got stuck in the End. I don’t know what you’ve heard but I’m not a bad guy.. I’m just trying to protect everyone..”

“Do.. Do you know where I came from? I know I’m part enderman but.. D-did I also come out from the End?”

“Huh? Why yes Ranboo you did. You were considerably younger than Dream at the time so finding a suitable place was difficult. But I think I did a good job no?”

“Do you know where my beacon went? A-and why are my tools so worn out?”

“Well little Ranboo why don’t you use context clues and go pay Dream a little visit.. If this is all you have to ask I’ll be going now.. But do not forget. I’m always watching.”

Wind came rushing back through the room and there was so much it knocked Foolish and Ranboo to the floor. It was dark for a second then the torches were relit and the portal was closed off. They stood up coughing and dusted off their clothes before looking at each other with grim expressions and nodded. 

They both knew what they needed to do. And neither were prepared for it.

While this was happening Puffy was walking. Walking through the Nether and through a dessert. It was far from the SMP but she had to come here. Memories of walking with Niki and Dream to this safe haven filled her mind as her feet walked to where they needed to be. As much as she tried to forget she could still hear Dream’s little shouts of ‘Ow hot sand hot floor hot floor!’ 

Tears ran down her face and blurred her vision so much she nearly screamed when she saw a brightly colored person rushing her way. The person in question was one Mr. Karl Jacobs, back from another adventure. Karl saw the dazed Puffy walking and decided to walk with her to keep her safe.

“Hey Puffy!”

“Ah!- Oh hello Karl.”

“Heyo what ya doing in a desert? Are you ok??”

“I’m doing fine.. Just going on a walk..”

“So far out?”

“Yeah.. Visiting my garden out here..”

“Garden? What kind of garden is out in a desert?”

“... A special one..”

“Is it sugar cane? There’s not much water here though...”

“No...”

“Cactus? Not sure why you would need a cactus farm but hey what-”

“It’s not cactus or sugarcane Karl..”

“Huh? Then what?”

“It’s chorus fruit..”

“Cho..CHORUS FRUIT?! WHERE DID YOU GET CHORUS FRUIT?? THE END IS OFF LIMITS!”

He stared at Puffy with wide eyes, stopping in his tracks. Puffy continued to walk and Karl had to run to catch up with her. Karl tried to stop her from moving and talk to her about this but his attention was soon directed towards the large gated garden full of chorus fruit plants. The tall plants held an eerie air around them. The hot desert suddenly felt like ice after he stepped into the garden. He watched as Puffy plucked the fruit and stared at it.

His mind was a buzz with questions. Where did she get the fruit? Who gave it to her? Why did she have a garden full of it? Was she ok? Karl didn’t know. Puffy collected a chest full of the fruit and handed him some. 

“Puffy what do you want me to do with this..?”

“Just take it.. Please..” “Puffy what’s wrong?” “.. Everything Karl.. Now leave please..”

The wind blew causing sand to toss and turn. Puffy looked at Karl with sad eyes as sand blew higher and higher, she turned and started to walk away. Karl chased after her but the sand hurt his eyes and by the time the sand settled Puffy was gone and he was alone in the garden.

Karl looked around trying to find the Captain but was unable to. The fruit in hands however had a familiar feel to them. He didn’t know why but it felt like he had these before. He had never been to the End but the longer he looked at the purple fruits he felt nostalgia…

He decided to put fruits in his bag and look over them back home. Now if only he knew where to go. How did he even get here? Where was he coming from? Karl rushed to find his books and a sigh of relief emerged from him once he did. By the time he came back to the SMP he saw Puffy talking to Tommy and Tubbo, while he was still very worried for her well being he chose to let her be for now. He saw her still holding the basket of fruit and looked at his bag full of it. Tommy and Puffy walked away and it made him wonder if she was giving chorus fruit to everyone. He hoped she wouldn’t because no one knows what the consequences of that might be. Arriving at his home he saw Sapnap and Quakcity waiting for him.

“Ay where have ya been Karl?”

“Yea we missed you!”

“Ah I’m sorry! Didn’t even realize I was gone that long to be honest.” Karl laughed as he said this but when he noticed they weren’t laughing with him, he looked them confused. They looked at him concerned and confused and started to check if he was sick. 

“Guys, guys I’m fine! What's the issue?”

“You’ve… you’ve been gone for a month Karl..” Sapnap said slowly. Karl’s eyes widened as he dropped his bag. He rushed over towards the calendar on the walla and stared at it heart dropping to his stomach. They were right. An entire month has passed. Quackity noticed his bag but chose to ignore the strange feeling he got from it. It wasn’t important right now. What was important was Karl’s health.

They brought Karl to his bed and had him lay down on his bed before questioning him. Karl answered the questions to the best of his ability but soon found himself drawing blanks on certain parts of his memory. He couldn’t remember things that happened and there were things clearly missing from it. It was like a puzzle without all its pieces. It was painful trying to remember and it worried Quackity and Sapnap more. 

Why couldn’t he remember where he was for a month? Why was his memory so skewed? They chose to let him rest but they never left his side the next few days. Ranboo and Foolish on the other hand were trying to think of how they could get Dream to talk about Ranboo’s tools, if he even knew about it somehow. 

Ranboo knew his visit to the prison would be scary and now with this added pressure it would surely be worse than anything he could imagine. He needed his panic room. He had to get there so he could calm down. He just had to. He rushed to the room but was hit in the head by something. Looking around and finding no one he glanced down to see what had hit him. Chorus fruit.. 

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reboot Reviews: The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!

Fenton faces some of his greatest challenges yet: Gizmoduck’s soaring popularity and the possiblity of amour...  oh and the return of his arch enemy but that’s a standard tuesday for a superhero. It’s a Date, don’t let him trick you noooo, under the cut. 

I have to admit something first: I WAS going to cover the other two fentoncentric episodes before I got to this one, as a build up to this weekends episode. The problem though was I realized that this week’s episode is, via word of god, going to cover WHY Gyro hates Fenton , and thus I really can’t dig into Gyro’s behavior in both eps, especially Who Is Gizmoduck? where despite his rational fears of having funding cut, he’s still an uttershithead to fenton and I feel it’d be better served if I waited a little and did the ep sometime after saturday.  So with that bit of expostion you probably didn’t need out of the way: Dangerous Chemistry! This one is a personal faviorite of mine, to the point that when I was bored a week or two ago I watched this one just for fun, and probably will again. That’s not why i’m reviewing it: even if I hadn’t I would rewatch it and planned to for the ones I was going to review, it’s just dumb luck. And part of that is Fenton is one of my faviortes: Lin Manuel Miranda really brings his a game to the character, and the crew really fleshed him out, making him a really likeable, fun, and relatable awkward dork. Another reason is one that should be obvious if you saw my comics reviews when I in vain tried to review each dawn of x comic on a weekly basis before throwing up my hands at the sheer volume: I fucking love super heroes, and Who is Gizmoduck and this very episode are very good superhero stories that still fit well into the ducktales universe, as is the darkwing debut “The Duck Knight Returns!”. And finally the episode also has Huey in a major role and I love my red boy. So with all that stuff out of the way I can dive into the ep itself.  This one, as you probably know but I do like me my context, takes place in the second half of season. While Fenton did show up earlier for fellow instant classic “The 87 Cent Solution!”, he’s otherwise been absent this season. My honest theroy is, rather than Lin being busy, which while he sure as hell is he still squeezes the show in, it’s more a simple fact that season 2 is pretty damn stuffed: looking back at the episode count almost EVERY ONE ties into one of the major arcs of the season (Della’s journey home/struggle to fit into her kids life/ the moonvasion, glomgold’s bet with scrooge and louie inc), and those that don’t either bring in major new characters like the Cablleros or Drake, or touch on previous arcs: Last Christmas! touching on Dewey missing his mom while she’s still missing. Lena’s episodes bringing her back to the world of the living/introducing her sister, and then resolving her fear of magica for now and revealing where Magica’s been, and this ep checking in on fenton. There was just a LOT to do and get through, and Gandra was really the only time sesntive thing Fenton wise they had to absolutley do this season. So while it sucks, I do understand why they did it this way,  I do see why and hold no ill will over it.  And to the crew’s credit they used the fact Fenton had been absent cleverly and had a valid reason why we hadn’t seen him outside of one breif apperance: he’s busy. Simple as that. He’s been superheroing all this time: when we catch up with him he’s outright called burnt out by a c-list weather villian who looks like dr.doofnschmritz but lacks his awkward charm. He even uses the same pun twice. It’s also logical: his literal JOB is to be a superhero, it’s what he’s paid for, and given Duckberg seems ground zero for lunatics, it’s only natural ther’es a bakers dozens with techno gimmicks and costumes floating around trying to beat him up. He’s naturally exausted and i’ts made worse by two factors: His alter ego being all over the news, so even when h’es off work he can’t escape work, and being unable to do science.  And both are clever delimas: a lot of the usual superhero issues are non existant for fenton: while he’s bad at hiding his identity, the only person he really has to hide from is his mom, who we later learn at the end of the season already knows and has come around to it. His job isn’t in remote jeapordy because Gizmoduck IS the job, while he still has full acess to a lab to do the science work he’s always wanted. But he’s starting to see the price for doing the right thing: He’s spent so much time as Gizmoduck.. Fenton has nothing of his own. No time to do science, only two friends, and as a result is exausted and burnt out and yearning for a break.  So thankfully he’s taking one, and in another use of “time has moved on a bit because we didn’t have time for Fenton this season” he and Huey have gone from superhero and biggest fan to best friends. But I let it slide, partly because again the season is overstuffed dand i’ll likelky delve into that more when I get to this seasons arcs at some point, and mainly beause the two have a great dynamic: Huey is supportive, just wants his friend to be okay, and meshes with fenton perfectly: Their both big nerds who people tend ot ignore who get overly excited about science. But Hueys more openly confident while Fenton clearly lacks it at times. It’s a nice eb and flow I hope to see more of. 

HE and Huey are hanging out to do science and stuff, with webby tagging along because why not, and I absolutly love the gag of gizmoduck passing by, Webby not noticing at all and only finding out Fenton and Gizmoduck are the same person because Huey makes a rather big deal abotu the fact Gizmoduck just passed by and Webby is really smart and likes solving shit.  So we quickly get the rest of our setup: At the elctronics store, Fenton has a meet cute (which the juinor woodchuck guidebook of course has an entry on. ) with Gandra Dee, played by guest acress Jameela Jamil, better known from the good place and being the only one to point out “hey emil hirsch beat the shit out of the woman what the fuck” when quinten Tarantino cast him in the otherwise amazing film “Once Upon a Time In Hollywood”, who does a great job here. The two have some romantic tension as she calls fenton a suit and what not, he fires back he is good at sceincing and they schedule what may or may not be a date... with Fenton unaware that Gandra is a spy hired by mark beaks to get the gizmoduck passowrd and use her nanites merged with gizmotech to boost his strength. As you do.  The resulting episode is really damn good: Starting in the obvious place, Fenton and Gandra have a reall good dynamic: besides the obvious oppsoites attract thing: the modernized nerutoic nerd and the rebllious scientest there’s the nice contrast in who they work for: Sure Fenton works for a billionare who DOES use some of his and gyro’s work for fairly self serving things (and I didn't realize the universal solvant was a rosa thing first time around, I learned it between viewings, but it’s a nice mythology gag), but it’s been shown as far back as the pilot that’s he’s more than willing ot help all of duckberg, even if it makes a profit. WHy WOULD he stop gyro or fenton’s research for any reason? He funnels a ton of money into them simply beause he knows for every dozen failures something useful will come out of it and at most simply wants more treasure hunting gear, stuff both can whip up easily and for Fenton to spend most of his time as defender of the city, something Fenton wanted anyway. He’s a good boss... while the billionares Gandra’s working with, Bradford as we learned later and beaks in this episode.. are self serving scumbags who only want innovation for world domination and personal validation. By refusing to have ties with or trust anybody or put in the legwork to find an employer who would give her mostly freedom, she wants complete freedomf or her work in exchange for taking money from truly awful people. She’s no freer than fenton is and her hypcoricy is obvious, without making the character terrible in any way. As the kingpin once said in spiderman the animated series “the best strings are invisble”. While Gandra is well aware of who she’s working for she refuses to see the irony or the possible harm in her actions , and it’ll be intresting to see where her charcter goes from ehre.  As for Beaks, he’s a FAR better threat here than in the past episodes: I didn’t MIND him being a joke villian, though I was horribly disapointed, and he will likely be super dated eventually... but here it finds a nice ballance: While he’s still a whiny manchild, the breaking into the lab sequence is utterly delightful and shows that he’s NOT harmless. He’s at his best, like glomgold, when he’s either off to the side comedic relief, or a mixture of genuinely threatining and utterly moronic. His drinking 80 pounds of senstive chemicals turns him into the hulk and the resulting fight scnees are great, as is his confusion upon taking huey and webby hostage “I have your kids.. I think.. I don’t know how this family works” and his cries of “whose the looser now coach dad” are both funny and offerd our first peak into why he’s so screwed up. And his defeat while rediculous is clever, using his love of fame and his phone against him. Overall a much better showing than the past that so far has kept up into season 3: even if his plan backfired there and was for goofy reasons, it was here too, it only fell apart because he hired someone who hated him and underestiamated how much he’d pissed off graves last time. 

As for Fenton himself, the episod eis a great showcase, besides the before issues his manuvering around both the obvious date the kids set up for him (more on that in a second), and his genuine chemsitry and contrast with gandra are a delight.. as his his dad’s lesuire suit. On top of that the scenes wher ehe chews gandra out are a great bit of acting from Lin manuel Miranda, the hurt and fury in his voice coming through great.  To finish it out Huey is a delight this episode, showing himself to be a suprisingly good romantic for his age, serously violet won the lottery with this one, and while overenthsastic, i’ts still sweet and his friendship with fenton is genuinely heartwarming, as is what has to be the best line of the episode besides the beaks one above Huey: Fenton’s going to be devistated! Webby: (Annoyed) Or kidnapped by spies! Huey: (Dead serious) TWO BAD THINGS COULD HAPPENS! It’s a sweet dyanmic overall and the cherry on top of an utterly fantastic episode. Hopefully the momentum keeps up going into saturday. Until then, later days. Speaking of which.. WHY ISN’T THE WEEKENDERS ON DISNEY PLUS. God I shouldn’t be able to keep thinking of shows that are missing. Anyways, once again later days.  P.S. I almost forgot Launchpads great bit listing off all his exes and confriming that he’s probably bi. It was great. 

[antthonystark]

anyway things that were amazing about 2x11

VISUALLY what a lovely episode!!!! that awful green colour grading from 2a seems to be gone (or mostly gone) and yeah, the lighting is still dark, but i feel like they’ve finally struck the appropriate balance between season “looks like a commercial’ one and season “who the fuck even is in this scene?” 2a lol. like if you look at the rooftop scene from 2x05 compared to 2x11, it’s night and day. 

speaking of visual effects, did anyone else love love love the way the end part of the episode looked, when azazel was fuckin screaming into everyone’s ears or whatever? the pentagram and everything and then like the ash and i really liked the effect where azazel evaporated into bats or what fuckin ever

GOLDEN EYES JACE HOW COOL IS THIS plus basically that whole badass leap and sword thing whatever you wanna call it i just loved that whole thing it’s like this really really cool mythology coming to life and i really liked the aesthetic of it all with the glowing runes and eyes

azazel recognizing magnus was my favourite thing in the entire world tbh like ohhh man i really hope they go down this route when they’re exploring magnus’s backstory and the way alec in the background just kind of looks between them.....is there anything better than this 

starting from the top, i really love the institute courtyard set! i don’t think we’ve seen it before? but anyway it was really nice and it set a really cool atmosphere for both the demon summoning scene and the parabatai sparring scene and i really hope we see more of it 

and uhhh speaking of the parabatai sparring scene.... i mean.....is there anything better than this just tbh

like i said before i love the set and the atmosphere of it i thought it was super cool and it wasn’t even that poorly lit for being at night lol and the music was nice! i love the kind of electro techno what fuckin ever im too old for this stuff they play during the sparring scenes

and the fight choreography this season has been out!!!! of this!!! world!!!! personally i loved the sword/axe fighting they did but the hand to hand was just as fun and more cute and almost like play fighting between brothers and i just loved it 

the teasing!! the smiles!! just a really good lighthearted scene that didn’t feel extraneous either 

okay hate climon if you will but that scene was really pretty visually

the attempted hug between jace and simon had me in stitches dom and alberto are so perfect at their dynamic whether you ship it or not it’s fantastic 

im glad we’re seeing a more increased presence of the clave because it’s only appropriate and it rounds out the world better and is hopefully going to make certain things implied about the clave more explicit

plus......herondale reveal.......soon hopefully lol

ive seen that restaurant multiple times in person that azazel decimated and i think that’s a cool fun fact irrelevant to everyone but me 

I LOVED THE SCENE between alec and izzy....like i did not like the yin fen plot but it seems like we’re wrapping that up thank god...and it was just so damn sweet!!!! alec is so sweet and nurturing and caring isn’t he :)))))

oh lord that sweet sad little smile that they exchanged when he said “they all think you have the flu” kill me now that was perfect 

matt and em have such a damn perfect dynamic and chemistry it kills me every single time and em was also fantastic in all of the withdrawal scenes

when she’s trying to put her makeup on is especially touching and i think it’s as good a character moment for izzy as we’ve gotten recently and i really liked it 

motherfuckin luke alpha garroway that was so badass and i loved every damn second of it (plus idk about you but that “detective garroway” was nice)

luke being 100% done with ollie was hilarious and i loved it 

his excuse about taking notes on his phone was great too i just loved that whole scene tbh

loved the moments between simon and maia!! i’m so glad they’re not trying to put any unnecessary drama between them and just having them move on and stay friendly with each other!! 

magnus’s outfit basically saved my life so there’s that 

i want his coat and someone in that costume department deserves literal emmys

plus whenever magnus just....knows everything....all the time...... i love it

love the boyfriends working together!! solving problems!! helping each other out like real people do and i also really liked the aesthetic of the scene with that garbage can fire lighting it up....probably not gonna be fun as a gifmaker but it looked cool as hell (esp with that coat)

GOODBYE!!! UNECCESSARY!!! INCEST!!! ANGST!!! hello to a sweet and healthy relationship being allowed to form w/o unnecessary incest angst :)))

i actually loved the scene between the two of them right after, when clary is a little bit upset and tells jace to “feel something” i feel like it’s really indicative of the different ways they look at the world and themselves and yes i enjoyed it 

cute bonding moment between luke and maia!!! im really glad that they’re acknowledging the problems while not ruining their relationship, because i love it a lot and it just really shows how much trust maia has in luke and vice versa

the scene........with.............jace and alec on the rooftop..........is there anything better than this......i just love how it was completely wordless and yet you understood the emotions perfectly and the little pat alec does on jace’s head fuck me up man

more scenes like this please where emotions aren’t thrown in our face through over-expressive dialogue and the actors are allowed to act because holy shit it was perfect

speaking of which, SUBTLETY!! with ollie being potentially ??? who knows with that pic she took of luke and maia, plus the tiny little hints (i mean we all know who he is but if we didn’t) about sebastian (also kudos to will tudor for a fantastic first episode!!) like the way he talks about jocelyn which is some pretty sick dramatic irony for us at this point, and the weird hand burn thing he was doing......i really liked it and i think will is gonna be amazing and i’m excited to see what’s next

like it’s not punching us in the face with information and i really appreciate that 

alec and izzy’s phone call!!! it’s so cute and im so glad they’re handling their conflicts in character because they just care and love each other so so so so so much and you can see that so clearly and i love it 

though im not a fan of the trope in this context, i cannot fucking wait to see harry shum fuckin jr killing the game next episode because he will and it will be phenomenal tbqh

[robotnik-mun]

Answer ALL OF THEM.

....oh you dirty *BITCH*....!

A cartoon you remember that nobody else does.

At times I feel like the only person on Earth who remembers Exosquad.

It’s a real shame, because Exosquad was one of the best toons of the 90s and proof positive that just because something was made to tie-in to toys, doesn’t mean that it has to be little more than a mindless extended commercial. 

A cartoon you like but nobody else seems to.

That would be Beast Machines. A sequel series to the uber-good Beast Wars, this series caught a lot of derision for its shift in tone, design and character. Given the context though, I didn’t really see it as being ALL that divergent, with our heroes returning to a world where Megatron rules all and forced to learn how to use new, techno-organic bodies in order to combat him. Given the stress of the situation, I thought it wasn’t really THAT much of a stretch that the character’s personalities would change so much given the trauma of what had happened. Ah well. 

A cartoon you don’t like but everybody else seems to. 

That would be the Looney Tunes Show. At times I feel like the only person on Earth who just wasn’t impressed with it. I mean its not horrible or anything, but I feel like I’m the only person around who wasn’t all that wowed by it when it came out. 

A cartoon you wish would be forgotten.

Sausage Party. For being a simplistic, puerile, overhyped puddle of mediocrity, it deserves to be swept into the dustbin of history. 

The worst cartoon you’ve ever seen, and why?

You know, I had to give this some thought, but that would have to be Mr. Pickles.  Mr. Pickles is basically an amalgamation of everything you could ever hate about ‘adult’ cartoons in the US- it’s ugly, unpleasant and pointless. The humor is one note and entirely reliant upon grossing people out in the most nauseating ways possible, and there is literally no one to root for- the dog is the Devil, every human being alive is monstrous, ugly and stupid, the only person who is clued in on this is a feeble old man who lives to be bested and tormented by the devil dog, and given how awful everyone and everything around him is you’re just left to wonder why he bothers. Everything about this series is just irredeemably, endlessly unpleasant. 

The worst moment you’ve ever seen happen in a cartoon.

That would be the ‘Bunny Pajamas’ incident in Hey Arnold. See, there was this episode where quite by accident, Arnold discovered that Iggy, the coolest kid in school, liked to wear Bunny Pajama when sick. After having the information pried out of him by Sid and Stinky, Iggy forces Arnold to walk out in Bunny Pajamas in public as a means of forgiveness, utterly humiliating him in the process. What’s worse is that Sid and Stinky only *guessed* the truth. There was just... nothing after that. No resolution or anything. It was just a weirdly mean-spirited of an otherwise excellent series. 

The worst thing you’ve ever seen happen to a cartoon that ruined it.

The love triangle nonsense in Legend of Korra. I just... couldn’t let myself be invested anymore after it, I just couldn’t. I learned to detest everybody involved, and so I left the series before it could fester any further. 

A cancelled/forgotten cartoon you would bring back to television.

I have to pick just one? Geeze... well, I’m gonna break with tradition, and say War Planets. WE DESERVE AN ACTUAL RESOLUTION DAMMIT!

An animated character you remember but nobody else seems to.

Nilus the Sandman. I seriously feel like the only person who remembers that this guy was ever a thing. 

An animated character you hate the most, and why?

Hmm... that would have to be Cheese. It was bad enough that this utterly useless and unspeakably obnoxious little cretin got more and more screentime on the show, but as time went on he practically became the mascot for Cartoon Network. He represents everything you could possibly hate about a character, and more importantly, the tendancy for executives to latch on to the lowest hanging fruit in the name of grabbing attention and views.  

A non-animated property you would like to see as a cartoon

Oh, that’s easy- Starfox. I’ve always, always wished that there had been a Starfox cartoon out there and given the time the first game was released, I’m kind of amazed we never got one. 

A trope or trend in animation that you dislike.

I’m not all that fond of the reatreat from action toons that has been going on for a while now, or the fact that cartoons are increasingly focused on comedy at the expense of everything else. It’s not so much that I don’t like comedy or anything like that, but I just prefer there to be a bit of variety and feel a genuine regret that things like Batman: The Animated Series or SwatKats are increasingly becoming a phenomenah of the past. Well, who knows, maybe Netflix will give toons like that a place to thrive- Young Justice will be coming back, after all. Here’s hoping that starts a trend, or rather, RE-starts a trend. 

A currently airing cartoon that you know is going to be forgotten about in the future.

Pickle and Peanut. And thank God for that. 

The best episode of a cartoon you really like.

Code of Hero, Beast Wars. One of the best Transformers anything ever, this is always gonna be a favorite. 

The worst episode of a cartoon you really like.

Ro-Becca, from Sonic the Hedgehog. I love you SatAM, always will, but good GOD we could have done without that one. 

A cartoon you feel deserves more recognition than it gets.

Disney’s Gummi Bears. Besides the fact that this series is what really got the ball rolling with Disney’s major TV rennaissance, the series itself is really quite incredible from both a visual and storytelling standpoint, especially with regards for the time that it was released. Despite having a fairly typical ‘Gang of Critters’ setup for the time, right down to each character being named for a trait (Gruffi, Tummi, Cubbi etc), every one of the Gummi Bears has a lot more going on than the surface would indicate, and there is a maturity to the worldbuilding and storytelling that belies what its name and appearance would suggest. Besides that, Princess Calla has to be one of the most badass princesses ever to grace television. This series is a gem, and its a shame it isn’t remembered and recognized more than it is. 

A cartoon you feel deserves less recognition than what it gets.

Sausage Party. I’m mentioning it twice, but it really does not deserve the hype it got or the kind of reviews it got. In the history of adult oriented animation in the US, Sausage Party brings nothing new to the table beyond re-affirming that tired stereotype that ‘mature’ animation must be the most puerile and juvenile minded tripe out there. Everything from its supposed themes to the nature of its humor is just sub-par, and I will never, ever view it as anything more than a cheap gimmick film that banked on novelty rather than anything worthwhile. 

The worst idea you can think of for an animated series.

Lara-Su Chronicles- The Series! 

At what point did you realize a cartoon, any cartoon was starting to get bad?

Well, like many, I started to realize things were going downhill in the ‘03 Ninja Turtles cartoon once we reached the Flash Forward season. Now to be clear, I didn’t think it was a bad premise, and a lot of the ideas and designs in the season had a lot of promise. Unfortunately, that promise wasn’t really met- the season lacked a certain spark that those before it had. The magic was gone, replaced by something that just didn’t do the series justice. I lost track after that season, and from the looks of it I was right for doing so. 

An experience with a cartoon you thought you were going to like but turned you away from it.

Wolverine and the X-men. See, I like X-men. I like Wolverine. So surely, I should like this right? Well, initially I did... but as time went on, Wolverine became less and less tolerable, particularly since it felt like Cyclops was getting shit on as a character to make Wolverine look better even though their dynamics were now completely opposite from what it had traditionally been. Which could have been interesting mind you, but nothing of worth was really done with it. I abandoned the series and never looked back. 

Something you would like to see more than anything in a cartoon.

Hmmm... this is a fandom specific one, but honestly? I’d love to see a Transformers cartoon that does the old ‘Cybertronians Become Human’ bit, but to *actually* do it and explore the concept in a mature way, to explore how immortal war machines respond to suddenly becoming frail, short lived humans and all too aware of the fact, as well as learning how to endure a human existence. Maybe someday it will happen, but for now, I can but wish. 

What do you feel makes a cartoon forgettable?

I think more than anything, writing and plotting can be the key to if a cartoon is remembered or forgotten. Being overly reliant on stock plots and playing it too safe more than anything can make a cartoon bland or cliched. I mean don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot more to it than that, but this is I think more than anything is what leads to a lot of cartoons winding up forgotten. 

[fatfreddysreviews]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

This is the movie that Star Wars: The Force Awakens should have been, not what it ended up being, almost a copy and paste of A New Hope. Although there is a lot happening across the movie with characters spread out all over the place, I felt that Rian Johnson did a good job of keeping all the disparate plots within the overarching storyline, humming along and it all made sense.

I found it very disappointing that Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) only got a couple of minutes of screen time in the Force Awakens, so it was great to see him one of the main characters in this movie. A significant part of the plot centres around Luke and his failure to train Kylo Ren in the ways of the Jedi. His failure and the virtual eradication of the Jedi weighs heavily on his weary shoulders, much like it did for his mentor, Obi Wan Kenobi. There are similarities between the two, as they both ended up living as hermits shunning interactions with others. And it’s in this state of mind that he meets Rey, who clearly has The Force running strongly in her but he’s reluctant to get involved with her and train her as a Jedi.

In some ways, nothing changes in the Star Wars world, as the Resistance is still being hounded by the First Order and the Supreme Leader (unsurprisingly played by Andy Serkis) and his evil plans. You’d think Princess Leah (the late and great Carrie Fisher) would be sick and tired of being persecuted across the galaxies but she keeps going and drawing rebels to her cause. Leah is also weary from the years of struggle and the loss of her husband and son, Kylo Ren.

Which leads me on to Mr Kylo, who I was very critical of in my review last year but who I think has redeemed himself somewhat in this version. He’s still a child in a man’s body, one who has some pretty amazing powers. I think he reflects his conflict between good and evil much better this time and you believe that at some point, through his relationship with Rey, he might come back to the good side, but he’s too far gone and not even the prospect of being with the beautiful Rey will make him deviate from his path. It’s an interesting relationship, it’s not clear to me whether there is a romantic connection (I would say there is) or whether it’s the connection from The Force, but this is a key component of the story line and it works very well, there is certainly chemistry there or something.

Daisy Ridley gets better and more comfortable in her role and does a great job in interpreting the intrepid, morally strong and feisty Rey. She’s certainly growing in her role and you could read from the way the story line is moving ahead, she will be the main protagonist being the one remaining person that can harness The Force, although she isn’t officially a Jedi.

The shift from the original cast to the new and younger one will continue focusing on the very charismatic John Boyega, who also has an important role in this movie and he gets a lot of the more humorous lines. He gets to do a lot of the action scenes after he wakes up from what I assume was a coma at the end of the previous film. He develops an unlikely friendship and partnership with Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran), who’s a bit of a techno-geek, who’s in awe of Finn, as he’s seen as a hero of the resistance. He almost gets killed off a few times in this version, so hopefully he doesn’t get himself in these situations too much in the future.

I really enjoyed this movie, I think it was exactly what the franchise needed after Episodes 1 to 3 and The Force Awakens (although I know a lot of people liked it, I found it unoriginal and preferred Rogue One), it had a good, solid plot with good acting, good characters and lots of really good action and special effects. My one criticism and it’s probably quite pedantic, is the franchise’s need to have “lovable’ creatures involved. We first saw this with the Ewoks, then the reprehensible Jar Jar and now we have Porgs. Yes, they’re cute but what do they add to the story? Having said that, my 10-year-old was quite drawn to them and thought they were so cute, so perhaps it’s me who’s out of touch with the thinking behind these creatures.

Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy

Watchability factor: 4/5 – I would definitely watch this movie again and probably should, as there are a number of things happening that I may need to watch again to fully understand.

Outstanding performance: I don’t think there’s one particular one that stands out, there are many very good ones that bring the whole movie together/

That’s all folks.

[phooll123]

In Turkey, Music Takes You Where a Travel Visa Can't

We talked with Ozoyo, a Turkish DJ and producer, about the music scene in Istanbul and what it's like to be an artist in a country where political rights and civil liberties aren't guaranteed.

Apr 2 2018, 4:46pm

All photos by Yannick Müller

A version of this article originally appeared on Noisey Germany. 

In Turkey, journalists at magazines critical of the government, likeCumhuriyet, are currently being thrown in prison. Authors are under constant surveillance, and since 2017 the number of academics who've been fired from their jobs in the public sector has risen to over 5,000. Under President Tayyip Erdoğan, the Turkish government has aggressively rescinded political rights and civil liberties, with media freedom sharply declining after a violent political coup in July 2016. According to Freedom House, Turkey's press freedom status is listed as "not free," and the country's current "Freedom in the World" score is 32 out of 100 (zero being the least free, 100 being the most free).

But what's it like to be a musician in Turkey? Noisey spoke with Ozoyo, a DJ and producer in Istanbul, to find out. The 27 year old was born in Turkey, but lived in Germany with his family for eight years during his youth. He's been back in his home country for nearly ten years now, and lives in Istanbul as a musician and student. The music he makes is largely instrumental: Chill beats with hip-hop samples, with a hint of jazz and electronic music throughout this smooth sound. We asked him about the local music scene in Istanbul, what's its like to be an artist in Turkey's political climate, and his plans for the future.

Noisey: How would you describe your sound? Ozoyo: The music I make is pretty laid-back. When I first started my music project as Ozoyo, I was listening to a lot of jazz. And I grew up with hip-hop. But I’m not someone who just gets stuck within one genre—I’m open to new sounds and enjoy getting experimental. The first two EPs were laid-back, but my next project is definitely going to be a little harder in terms of its sound.What sort of influences inspire you?Everything I experience, everything I still want to experience, and everything that’s still waiting to cross my path. Might sound philosophical, but that’s the way I feel. I released my EP Wanderlusttwo years ago. Back then, I just wanted to travel but never had the time. So I decided to produce an EP that tells a story about traveling and the yearning for faraway places. If you take a close look at the track list, you can see what sort of trip I was imagining for myself.

From the protests in Gezi Park in 2013 to the attempted political coup in July 2016, all the way to the current imprisonment of artists and journalists who are critical of the government: The political landscape of Turkey has changed significantly in recent years. What is your impression of the current political climate in the country? The protests didn’t go unnoticed by me. At the Gezi protests in 2013, people initially gathered together to peacefully prevent the trees there from being cut down. Of course there were then groups who acted in a questionable way. But overall, it was about solidarity with a positive underlying idea: the preservation of something old, of the green spaces in the heart of the city in opposition to the construction of another large shopping center. It’s tragic that people wound up dying in the end.

To what degree have the living conditions in Istanbul changed for you? My life hasn’t changed drastically, but you can see that the prices have risen rapidly. Everything is getting more expensive. The minimum wage is 1,400 Lira (roughly $350 USD) a month, and a beer in a typical bar costs about 15 Lira (close to $4 USD). Of course alcohol isn’t good for your health, but having fun is a privilege for the rich here. Even traveling has become difficult and expensive. First you need to get a passport, then you have to pay to get a visa, and on top of that you have a catastrophic currency exchange rate. For one dollar you’ve got to toss out nearly 4 Lira. That doesn’t leave much room for luxuries like vacation. But luckily, music allows me to travel in a different way. For a majority of the population that just isn’t possible, which is really too bad.

How have the political changes manifested in your daily life?Not a lot has changed in my personal, day-to-day life. I willingly moved back to Turkey with my family in 2008 after having spent eight years in Germany. But since I've come back, I've noticed that a lot of people are trying to move to Germany, England, or Austria. So I’m often asked why I came back [to Turkey]. I'm currently studying linguistics in Istanbul and I'll probably be done with my studies this year. Only once I’m finished with university will I know where I’ll be living.

What do you miss—any not miss—about Germany? What are the perks in your life in Turkey?Döner kebab tastes way better in Germany than in Turkey. That said, I’m not a big fan of the weather in Germany. But I really need to see more cities in Turkey and in Germany. Only then will I be able to form a solid opinion about both countries. I used to live in the Stuttgart region [in southwest Germany], and now I'm in Istanbul. But it’s difficult for me to make generalizations about people. Everyone grows up differently, here and there.

How would you describe the music scene in Istanbul?Like anywhere else, the scene is split up into different genres. Pop music, of course, sells the best. But there are a lot of people who are into less popular music. Thanks to Spotify, musicians here can show the world what they’re capable of. In terms of Istanbul specifically, I’m tight with all the hip-hop people, but also with the electronic community. I also prefer people who aren’t just all about partying, but who have a deep interest in music.

How easy is it to network with others in Istanbul?Just like anywhere else in the world, it’s easy to connect with other people through the internet. Through SoundCloud, Facebook, or Instagram, it’s easy to contact others and make connections that way. There’s a large community for electronic music here, but sadly most of them have gotten stuck in cliché genres like house and techno. That doesn’t mean I don’t like house or techno—on the contrary. I’d just find it better if others would be more open to different styles of electronic music. But still, there are small groups of people that are interested in subgenres of electro and other sounds.

So then is there anywhere you’re even be able to perform your music?I’ve been getting booked for shows, yeah. Here in Istanbul I sometimes perform live and play [DJ sets]. Last year I performed in Berlin, Essen, and Munich, and this summer I’ll likely be performing somewhere in Berlin again.

Where do you like to perform the most? Anywhere there’s music. When I’m in clubs, I play danceable music, from trap to house or techno. Sometimes there are events where I perform jazz or play only instrumental beats. A DJ and producer shouldn’t limit himself to just one genre, but rather be open to all sorts of music and then perform them.

Your sound is awfully smooth. You’ve been working with more hip-hop samples recently and they have a pretty chill vibe. What inspired you to do so?Until now, my music has mirrored the quieter side of Istanbul. But my next project will show the darker sides of the city. My next EP is already finished. This time, there won’t just be simple loops, but also entire songs. I look forward to seeing how people respond to it.

Istanbul is a city of extreme contrasts. Not just because it’s split between Asia and Europe, but also because the districts represent contrasting poles—Fatih is very religious, Beyoglu is very open and liberal. How do you experience the contrasts there? Have the different fronts become hardened? A lot of people came to Istanbul at the end of the 80s to work—people with various backgrounds and sexual orientations. Sometimes living together works quite well, other times not so much. Sometimes a woman will get harassed because she’s wearing a short skirt, and sometimes women who are completely veiled get made fun of by other people. Everywhere you go, people are good and bad at the same time.

What keeps you in Turkey? What is it there that makes a difference for you? My studies, my family, and the amazing weather. Besides, you always find up discovering new and amazing little spots in Istanbul.

What projects are you currently working on? Are you collaborating with musicians from other countries? Because I’ve been living in Istanbul for almost ten years, I can’t just travel anywhere at whim. Before I travel, I have to get a visa, that’s why most collaborations take place via the internet without me having to leave the place where I live. But aside from that, I currently have some collaborations with musicians from Germany and Turkey. I’ll be releasing my new EP in May or June. It’s a mix of trap and lo-fi jazz beats. Other than that, I’m still studying and will get my degree this year. And then hopefully I’ll continue to make music for a long time, travel around the world and get to know new, creative people.

Follow Ozoyo on Spotify,SoundCloud, Facebook, andInstagram.

STREAM OF THE CROP

Stream of the Crop: 5 New Albums for Heavy Rotation

New albums from Kacey Musgraves and Frankie Cosmos top this week's list of essential new albums

ByColin JoyceandAlex Robert Ross

Apr 1 2018, 7:33pm

Every week, the Noisey staff puts together a list of the best and most important albums, mixtapes, and EPs from the week just gone. Sometimes that list includes projects we’ve written about on the site already; sometimes they're just great records that we want everyone to hear but never got the chance to write about. The result is neither comprehensive nor fair. We hope it helps.

Kacey Musgraves: Golden Hour

Inspired by LSD, at ease with the world, in awe of the beauty of everything, Kacey Musgraves finally has her country-pop masterpiece. For all of its carefully worked honesty, debut LP Same Trailer, Different Park only hinted at this sort of songcraft; on the follow-up,Pageant Material, Musgraves wasn't sure where she belonged. Here, on her third LP, she seems to have nothing to prove. There's plenty more to be written about Musgraves's talent and worldview but, for now, just listen to "Butterflies," "Happy & Sad," and "Golden Hour," three of the best pop-country-adjacent love songs of this or any other year. And definitely listen to "Rainbow," a stunner, which makes majesty out of familiar balladry. — Alex Robert Ross

Frankie Cosmos: Vessel

Kline seems content on Vessel to keep putting as much of herself out there as ever. The record consists of 18 songs, recorded like her last two albums with a full band and the producer Hunter Davidsohn, written over the course of a tense and tenuous time in her life. In the two years since her last album Next Thing, she’s ended up with a whole new band around her. Her long term relationship with Frankie Cosmos’ former drummer Aaron Maine (who also records as Porches) came to an end. She toured endlessly, spending eight to nine months out of each year on the road, with rarely more than two weeks at home. These things aren’t all in the songs literally, butVessel carries the spirit of these trying times, the incredible lows of romantic dissolution and tour burnout channeled through brief, but potent indie pop songs plumbing the depths of her own psyche. — Colin Joyce, Frankie Cosmos Is Alive, Even If It Feels Like Shit

Mary Halvorson: Code Girl

Often, the seemingly spider-limbed avant guitarist Mary Halvorson makes music that feels like its spoken in another language. It’s melodies are abstract, passages fit together in ways that don’t entirely make sense, it just feels deliciously wrong. That’s great sometimes, but her new projectCode Girl is an inclination of her more rock-oriented tendencies, which is nice for the jazz-curious listeners like me who’ve always scrambled for a way into her work. She made a playlist for The Wire suggesting that this new full band effort was inspired, in part, by the relatively straightforward songwriting of people like Yo La Tengo, Elliott Smith, and Fiona Apple. There’s comfort in the moments that lean that way, when vocalist Amirtha Kidambi is centered—which provides a nice ballast for the passages where Halvorson stretches out into barely tonal hinterlands. None of it’s easy, but the vibrant bursts of double-jointed playing have context, which only makes them hit harder. — Colin Joyce

mdo: Enamel

Ryan Loecker’s new tape of damp and swirly drones is short—just under 20 minutes—but I’d argue that in a lot of ways that’s the perfect length to get to know an ambient project. Replaying it, you get to untangle it’s deceptively rich contours, conjured here through aqueous pads, twitchy concrete sounds, and other electronics collaged. Like a body of water you splash into over and over again, expecting to find the bottom,Enamel has a hidden depth. And then when it’s over, you can just dive right back in. — Colin Joyce

TRANS FOREVER: OUT OF FLUX WITH THE UNIVERSE

Some of the best hopes for the future of pop live on the internet, issuing compressed-to-hell missives of digitalist bliss and cheery chaos straight to Bandcamp. If you’ve not been keeping up, OUT OF FLUX WITH THE UNIVERSE—a new compilation of trans and nonbinary artists put together by the Toronto musician Girls Rituals—is a great showcase of a few of the best of this overstimulating scene. Tracing underexplored connections between abstract rap (KC Oritz’ “30 Dollar Coat”), acid gabber meltdowns (astrofolk’s “IDFWU [BOOTLEG GABBER MIX],” synthetic emo-ish balladry (Felix Astroblade’s “Demons), and a whole lot of other disparate forms, it’s a perfect document of pop music in the URL era. Katie Dey and osno1, two of my absolute favorites in this whole world of pitch-warped pop artificers, turn in some of their best works, the cosmic orchestra-synth exploration of “Darkness” and the morbid carol “creep 4 your bones,” respectively. On top of all that it’s free. Can’t beat that. 

RELATED ARTICLES

STREAM OF THE CROP

Stream of the Crop: 5 New Albums for Heavy Rotation

STREAM OF THE CROP

Stream of the Crop: 7 New Albums for Heavy Rotation

STREAM OF THE CROP

Stream of the Crop: 8 New Albums for Heavy Rotation

STREAM OF THE CROP

Stream of the Crop: 5 New Albums for Heavy Rotation

Docs that don't suck.

WATCH NOISEY ON YOUTUBE.

SUBSCRIBE TO NOISEY

ESSAYS

This Bullshit World Was Predicted by Pulp's 'This Is Hardcore'

The Brit-pop icons' sixth album is dark, filthy, and essential for understanding modern life.

SHARE

TWEET

Andrea Domanick

Mar 30 2018, 8:50pm

Martyn Goodacre/Getty Images

This Is Hardcore is often hailed as the death knell of Britpop, a fiercelyBritish cultural movement marked by working class grit and pop candor. Acts like Oasis, Blur, and Suede arrived to shake off the sad-sack fuzz of shoegaze and the US’s grunge movement, girded by a kind of sardonic cultural pride that aligned nicely with the rise of Tony Blair and New Labour.

Pulp would join those acts to make Britpop’s “Big Four,” but they’d always remain outsiders, in their own way. The band had already been around for 15 years by the time Britpop took hold in 1993, and wouldn’t find success until the following year’s His ‘n’ Hers. Even then, frontman Jarvis Cocker didn’t fit in with the posterboy cool of Damon Albarn and the Gallagher brothers. Pale and lanky, he grew up an introspective misfit in oversized government-issued spectacles. As a teen, he was kidnapped by pedophiles in a van after his mother told him to be more sociable, only to outwit themwith sarcasm. Accordingly, Pulp’s songs—like “Pink Glove,” “Mis-Shapes,” and, of course, the smash working class diatribe “Common People”—always maintained a degree of observational skepticism, less keen on celebrating or winking at being British, than really going in on it. That underdog ethos that would take Pulp all the way to a headlining slot at Glastonbury in 1995.

By 1998, “Cool Britannia” was being shamelessly co-opted by the newly-elected Tony Blair, as the once-hopeful voices of Britain’s working class towns were drowned out by mine closures and New Labour’s champagne socialism. (Blair’s team supposedly tracked down Cocker while on vacation in New York to ask him to support the election campaign, to which Cocker told them to kindly “piss off”; he’d later formally clap back on the underrated Hardcore B-side “Cocaine Socialism.”)

Britpop was now the stuff of tabloid fodder, a bonafide pop craze distorted into a prefab Spice World, with the baton of dissent yielded to the more palatably cynical hands of Radiohead. Blur ditched the movement the year prior to go full Pavement on its self-titled album, and Oasis had become a caricature of itself. Cocker, for his part, was courting it-girl Chloe Sevigny and a coke habit, his now-spectacle-less pout adorning magazine covers and bedroom walls. A rock 'n' roll sex symbol at last, just in time to be neutered by the inane whimpering of Coldplay and Travis. The sanguine momentum of the impending millennium Pulp heralded on hits like “Disco 2000”—the momentum that got Cocker to where he was—had come to a screeching halt.

Then Pulp threw the gauntlet ofThis Is Hardcore, an unsparing send-off and hangover for the day after the revolution—or was it all just a fashionable party? The group’s sixth album was immediately met with controversy. Its cover, by artists Peter Saville and John Currin, features an uncanny valley portrait of a Hollywood blonde, her nude torso bent over red satin sheets. Her elongated neck arcs unsettlingly towards her open mouth and detached eyes, the album’s hot pink title stamped obscenely across her skin.

“This is Sexist,” would read the graffiti scrawled over Hardcorepromo posters in London’s Underground, along with “This is Demeaning” and “This Offends Women.”

It’s hard to say whether the subway vandals missed Pulp’s point, or helped make it. This is Hardcoresaw Britpop’s working class heroes reckoning with fame, hedonism, success, money, and the grotesque distortion of reality that come with them. It’s not their best album, nor their most popular—even die-hards tend to skip around to the singles—but that’s also what makes it an artistic achievement that still resonates, perhaps more than ever, beyond the decaying “Cool Britannia” from which it was born.

Perhaps more unsettling than the cover art was the music. Gone were the disco-drunk anthems for misfits, the suburban nostalgia, the major synth momentum, and sexed-up class critiques that propelled the long-toiling Sheffield quintet to stardom on their previous two albums, His ‘n’ Hersand 1995’s landmark Different Class. In their place was something darker, something off, rife with porny brass and hollow lounge ballads, bleak sex and claustrophobic mortality. The first note of opener “The Fear” suggests, for a moment, the rising momentum of past hits like “Lip Gloss” and “Do You Remember the First Time,” but quickly reveals itself to be quite the opposite with a minor sustain collapsing to a diminished. The whole thing feels rotten, like a bad cover version of itself.

“This is the sound of someone losing the plot / Making out they’re OK when they are not,” Cocker sings over a creaking, horror movie guitar. If the song’s title hadn’t make it clear, the track is an ode to coked-out paranoia that doubles as the mise-en-scène for the existential vertigo of the songs to follow. The chorus arrives with a choir—screeching, hyperbolic, almost intolerable to listen to—a musical device associated with the ethereal and uplifting, twisted into something disturbing and overwrought.

These unsettling tweaks to Pulp’s signature disco pop are subtle—synth breaks that are a little too emphatic, horns that are a little too processed—but, in tandem with Cocker’s lyrics, underscore how the trusted and familiar can easily, and insidiously, turn foul without us really realizing it. None of it feels particularly intentional, or like the band is trying to make a statement. It’s Cocker and Pulp, off the cuff, the only way they know how to be.

After a career spent pulling back the curtain on the lives and worlds around him, Cocker here turns inward. Hardcore isn’t storytelling, but self-reflection. He sheds the dark horse self-loathing worn as proud armor on albums past, along with the ill-fitting skin of celebrity. There’s no ego or self-pity to it; actually, it’s often funny (“I am not Jesus, though I have the same initials”), a tool not to be undervalued given the album’s tough-to-swallow themes. Most often, though, it’s a frank reckoning with moral complexity, and how the hell we got here. Cocker may be famous, but in turning his incisive lens on himself, he holds a mirror to his audience.

Subsequent songs see him grappling with his father’s abandonment (“A Little Soul”), aging and marginalization (“Help the Aged”), social expectation (“I’m a Man”), and—what else would a Pulp record be?—sex, and its myriad implications, on the title track. Cocker trades the deviant, salacious appetite of past songs like “Pencil Skirt” and “I Spy” for something more clinical, likening success to the life of a porn star. It’s sex as rote dog-car chase (“That goes in there / And that goes in there, oooh / And then it's over”), sex as power (“This is me on top of you / And I can't believe that it took me this long”), sex as inevitable concession of modern life (“You can't be a spectator, oh no / You got to take these dreams and make them whole”). He cleaves at mystique and the seduction of that which is just out of reach, until we are left with nothing but ourselves, naked and alone.

The whole of Hardcore, in that way, plays like the unflinching anticlimax to Different Class; the amorous whimsy of “Something Changed” becomes the predictable relationship failure of “TV Movie”; the psychedelic youth of “Sorted for Es and Wizz” become the desperate, aging hedonists of “Party Hard”; the potential of “Disco 2000” becomes the mundanity and impotence of “Dishes.”

“I'd like to make this water wine, but it's impossible / I've got to get these dishes dry,” Cocker sings. Well, that’s life, isn’t it? “And aren't you happy just to be alive? / Anything's possible,” he belts in the next verse, his voice cracking and slightly off key, as if singing it bigger will somehow make it more true. Or maybe it’s a little too true. If we’re alive, none of us—and especially Cocker—really can complain, but that doesn’t make us feel any less empty. It’s a masterful reckoning of a familiar paradox that most of us would prefer not to parse, and makes for one of the most heartbreaking moments of the album.

Hardcore did well, hitting number one in the UK, but Pulp and its fair-weather fanbase were never really the same again. It’s a difficult album, and to an extent, you can’t really blame people for not wanting to hear their champions of the common people lamenting partying hard and getting older. But that’s not because, as with everyone from Elvis to Taylor Swift, its subject matter comes across as self-indulgent and unrelatable, but rather because it’s so relatable.Hardcore offers a brutally honest look at humanity’s dark side, the myth of meritocracy, and the fallacies and concessions we make to keep up with the competition in modern life. Today we lionize Radiohead for capturing that us vs. them disillusionment on OK Computer, but it’s Hardcore that offers the harder, more unflinching truth: We became them.

The reality of common people, overlooked by Cocker on the song version, is that we all settle, in one way or another. Hardcore is the OK Computer for those of us who chose to indulge and participate. And, if we’re honest, that’s everyone. We all choose pleasure if we can. We’d all be rich if we could. Thom Yorke DJs fashion week parties, but you won’t hear him reconciling with that on the next disaffected Radiohead joint. He’d likely argue, rightfully, that there are bigger, more corrupt fish to fry.

But that’s why it’s all the more important to have a band like Pulp, and an album like This Is Hardcore, there to connect the uncomfortable dots between The Everyman and The Man. Cocker looked around and saw the individualism he eulogized cannibalize the collective action and social conscience it was supposed to give rise to. It’s not hard to see the parallels today—the fleeting pop momentum of “Common People” in the momentary self-satisfaction of hashtag activism; the smug, Yorke-ian satisfaction that these issues aren’t your fault. The takeaway from Hardcore, and its story, is that change—real change—requires taking ownership of some sense of moral complexity and complicity. It’s a tough pill to swallow. Belying the perpetual culture shock of post-2016 life is the more difficult, personal truth that our good intentions don’t mean shit. This Is Hardcore is here to remind us of that—not a crisis of faith, but a shrug of, “I guess we had this coming.”

I

UP NEXT

Stream of the Crop: 5 New Albums for Heavy R

READ

LISTEN

WATCH

TOPICS

NOISEY NEWS

INTERVIEWS

PHOTOS

NOISEY RADIO

NEXT

VICE ELSEWHERE

VICE Apps

VICE on TV

VICE Magazine

Edition

ENUNITED STATES

ABOUT

CAREERS

PRIVACY POLICY

TERMS OF USE

© 2018 VICE MEDIA LLC

  via Blogger https://ift.tt/2Iom2a6