#teena does not look real

[deep-sea-gigantinism]

why are they so uncanny valley

[randomfoggytiger]

Collector's Fic: Mulder, Scully, and Courthouse Weddings

Mulder and Scully and weddings-- do they or don't they? In this case they do and they don't.

Tagging @pookie-mulder, who inspired this idea!

Loose chronological order below~

@ghostbustermelanieking/skuls’s

in another world - Chapter 22

it happens in vegas, of course, and it happens because of langly and melissa.... it’s directly following mulder’s breakup with diana, and he’s been moping around the hotel room the entire time; dana is in the midst of stressing over a big test for medical school, and has refused to leave the hotel room so that she can study to the point of driving melissa crazy. 

AU-- Pre-S1 Mulder and Scully meet and marry in Las Vegas.

I wish you would write a fic where Mulder and Scully are married and domestic af. AU, obviously.

...Mulder and Scully are married on August 16, at a courthouse in Virginia. The date has no significance, no probable reason to get married then—and that, Mulder says, is why it's perfect.

AU S7 Scully is appalled at her and Mulder's shamelessly gooey "married" behavior.

#32: It looks good on you.

He says, “Wanna get married today?”

She lifts her head to look at him, her eyes wide with surprise and maybe an ounce of caution. She says, “You're kidding.”

“Dead serious, Scully.”

AU S7 Mulder and Scully get hitched on a spur-of-the-moment October day.

Five Moments Mulder and Scully Shared (And One They Didn't) (Tumblr)

The new weight is unfamiliar on her hand, but not in a bad way. She grabs his hand and presses a kiss half against his finger and half against his own ring as they huddle together on the steps of the courthouse. 

AU Post S11 Mulder and Scully get a second chance at their entire lives; and determine to make better choices with each other.

@silhouetteofacedar/SilhouetteOfACedar's Pearl, Ch. 1 (Ao3)

Scully shakes her head. “Sorry, no. I’m just nervous.”

“We can keep holding hands, if you want,” he says quietly. “Play the part of a happy couple for a few minutes.”

She glances at him to see if he’s joking. He’s not; his face is strangely serious.

He should be joking, she thinks.

AU-- Mulder and Scully wed after her cancer diagnosis.

@mchalowitz's (Ao3) chain reaction, part 5

Mulder doesn’t bring up the proposal for three days. He figures he should mention it before the weekend because after two days apart, the seriousness of it will wear off. It’ll just be an awkward occurrence, not a real offer. 

“Should we get you a ring?” 

Scully coughs out a laugh and glances at him briefly from the filing cabinet.

AU-- Between Scully's cancer and Teena Mulder's drama, Mulder and his partner are able to find a brief, bright spot: their marriage.

@leiascully's (Ao3) Mulder told Scully he would do whatever he could

They get married.  It’s a quickie courthouse wedding with Maggie and Tara as their witnesses.  Bill refuses to be any part of it.  

AU-- Mulder and Scully get married and leave the FBI to adopt and raise Emily.

@myownsuperintendent/MyOwnSuperintendent’s

All a Family

They get married at the courthouse. They bring her mom.... But she smiles during the ceremony, at least, and Scully does too, a little shyly, and Mulder knows he does, in a way he can’t contain.

AU-- Mulder tells Scully about her ova after her remission; and the two have successfully begun an IVF pregnancy and started the adoption process for Emily when they decide to wed for better chances.

Ficlet: “Marry Me” (Ao3)

She stops where she is.  “Are you serious?”

He pauses a moment to consider, and then he says, “I’m serious.” 

...She’s next to the bed now.  “Yes, then.”

AU-- Post Requiem Mulder asks Scully to marry him.

Readjustment

She feels a little bit guilty that she can’t give her mom what she wants, when there’s so much she’s missed out on. Maybe she would have wanted it herself once, but not anymore, now. “We just…we don’t want to wait, Mom,” she says, and maybe that’s silly, since they’ve already waited quite a while. Since they already have a child together, a life, love. But that is how they feel.

AU-- Mulder, Scully, and William are readjusting to life as free citizens no longer on the run... well, Mulder and Scully are, anyway.

@scully-loves-ruthie's Better Call Scully

“Mulder, look at me.  He faces downward eyes locked on hers.  “Do you really believe that you’ll never stake someone thinking they’re a vampire only to find out too late you were wrong... again?”

He stares at her weighing his response before offering a playful smile as he pulls her toward the courthouse

“That’s what I thought.”  She mutters quickening her pace to remain in step with him.

AU-- Post Bad Blood Mulder and Scully get married for "practical" reasons (of course.)

@cauldronoflove/thegoodthebadandthenerdy's All I Need's a Fraction of Your Happy Heart

(Mulder had meant his proposal, sure, but in the end it was Scully who proposed. Neatly and to the point, but so full of an unrestrained want and sincerity that Mulder had covered her hand across the crayon-scribbled tabletop without even checking left or right.)

AU-- S7 Scully reflects on the journey from her recent marriage to Mulder while she and her partner are on a case.

AU/Married/ISTJ reflects how banter had turned to serious convo/duo both proposed/courthouse/giddy together on case-- All I Need's a Fraction of Your Happy Heart - [Archive]

@msrafterdark's (Ao3) MSR // Ficmas Day 30 - Fireworks

Their belongings are all in storage save for a few toiletries and some clothes for their honeymoon next week. They're signing for a house next month. A simple but beautifully elegant wedding dress hangs on the back of the door of Scully's childhood bedroom. A bundle of wedding presents from relatives and friends--including a rather suspiciously-wrapped gift with the initials "TLG" scrawled on it--sit on Maggie's kitchen table. Even AD Skinner is stopping by for the courthouse appointment tomorrow.

AU-- S7 Mulder and Scully enjoy the night before their wedding together.

beduini/Beduini's Legitimate

The baby moves again and he smiles, a wide, cheek-splitting smile. After a few more minutes, he raises up on his forearm once more and looks down at her with eyes shining, as if he'd just solved a case. "Hey Scully, we got married today."

Her lips turn up in a slight, amused smile. "Yes, Mulder, we did."

AU-- Post Vienen Mulder and Scully hit up the courthouse.

Vickie Moseley’s (Ao3, Gossamer)

Mother of the Bride

"Dana," I whispered, holding my breath and hoping my suspicions about this 'appointment' were correct. "Can you tell me what this is all about?"

Suddenly, Fox was on the phone. "Call it an early birthday present, Mrs. Scully. And maybe a late Mother's Day Present, as well."

Post Existence Mulder and Scully wed at the courthouse.

@aloysiavirgata’s (Ao3, WBM, Gossamer, LJ, Alt. LJ) A Tent of Shelter (Ao3)

She smiles at him, her lopsided grin. “Mulder, what can change, really? The taxes. The health insurance. But I think we’ve reached some point of terminal commitment, don’t you think? And you can hardly imagine I’ll be Doctor Mulder. So do I like the idea? I do, very much. But it’s hardly shocking.”

“Scully my love, you need to read more romance novels.”

Post IWTB Mulder wants to get married for his birthday.

@agentscully/agent_scully2084's Important Traditions

With minimal protest, Scully allowed Mulder to carry her over the threshold, laughing as Mulder explained the symbolism of the ancient tradition and appeared to take seriously his duty to protect his new bride from evil spirits.

Post IWTB Mulder and Scully get married in khakis and blue.

@scully/humancredentials's "Did you just call me 'baby' in front of my mother?"

She looks like she’s about to say that yes, something is wrong and that he shouldn’t antagonize her brother that way and even though they’re living together now, even though they’re ink on the paper official, sworn to each other in a courthouse in rural Virginia in front of her mother, her God, and all of their ghosts, it still makes her anxious when it’s on display.

But she doesn’t, doesn’t say any of those things, realizes she doesn’t even really want to.

Post IWTB Mulder is prone to slipping up with pet names after he and Scully tied the knot.

amorfati3215/Amorfati32’s (FFN) AU head canon - Mulder and Scully never separated...

Mulder and Scully marry two months later in a small service at the county courthouse. Scully’s mother gives the bride away while Skinner agrees to be Mulder’s best man. It’s a quiet affair, formal too but it’s exactly what they wanted. 

AU-- Post IWTB Mulder and Scully vacay, wed, and stay together during the hard times.

@broadcastnews1987/audries/@kennedyandheidi/inkspl0tchess's (WBM 1/ 2/ 3) Unnamed

“you’re my wife,” he says, over and over. her fingers are tugging at the tie she’d made him wear to the courthouse. he hadn’t really minded. “you’re my wife, scully.”

Post IWTB-- Three moments are Mulder and Scully tied the knot.

@m0lderitsme's Just a post MSIV fluff piece.

A big wedding was most definitely not for either of them. Plus, they didn’t really have anyone to invited anymore. Sure, Scully could have asked her brother Bill and his wife and son, but she didn’t really want them there. They decided that they’d get married in a very, very quick ceremony with a Justice of the Peace.

Post Revival Mulder and Scully marry with Skinner as their witness.

@flukemen/@pinebluffvariants/pinebluffvariant's Barrows

On a Friday afternoon, Mulder and Scully get out of a cab just a few blocks from the basement where they used to eat hotdogs at midnight and argue over evidence, when they were young. The streets are cleaner than they used to be, back then. The air is too. At least it feels that way today.

Post Revival Mulder and Scully wait in line outside the courthouse... and watch Skinner skip right on through.

@kateyes224's (Ao3)

Unchained Melody

Scully wiggled her small toes on the hard-wood floor, glad to be barefoot.  Her pale ecru dress shimmered in the darkened kitchen, her face half shadowed. She looked up at Mulder, and something in the way she was sitting, staring up at him, her cerulean eyes luminous in the dark, niggled at his brain like deja vu.

After the courthouse ceremony, Mulder remembers one moment when his parents looked really, truly happy with each other.

Honorable mentions:

amorfati3215/Amorfati32’s The Proposal (Parts 1/, 2/, 3/, 4/)

jeri’s (Gossamer) Vulpecula (Gossamer 1/ 2/) (post here)

@rationalcashew/RationalCashew's Dark is the Way; Light is the Place (Tumblr)

Vickie Moseley’s "My Dearest Son"

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

[heretherebedork]

Oh, look, it's an actual meaningful version of the attempt at this conflict in Only Friends where I don't feel like the virgin character is constantly judging everyone around him or the experienced character just instantly changed his mind about everything. Fingers crossed.

Honestly, I am enjoying Zouey and Teena because they are this fascinating glimpse into two very different views of sex within in a relationship as well as very different reactions to lust and outlooks on sex and how they relate to each other in this ways and the struggles are there and real.

And First playing a bit of Boston's role makes more sense as does the placement of this because Teena and Zouey are a bit more on the outs and they're trying to solve a bigger thing and First might be betraying Zouey in a way but he's also in his own rough spot with Soong that makes even more sense and Soong's approach at Zouey adds another depth to the mix of friends and lust and love and how to learn to not just be honest but how to actually communicate.

[mygwenchan]

Since I still see people complaining about the sex scenes in Playboyy:

The stark contrast between artistically crafted shots of non-sexual scenes (some of those truly look like they could be art installations) and sex scenes that seem unaesthetic, hasty, somewhat badly performed and sometimes even comical, highlights the conflict between what we expect and dream of versus the true nature of interpersonal relationships.

Dream versus reality is one of the big themes in this series. We can see it in the way the characters expect certain things from their relationships, only to be repeatedly confronted with the fact that they won't get what they want. Teena dreams of sleeping with a virgin, but both his feelings and Zouey's hesitation get in the way of it. Zouey wants to conform to society's expectations about sex, he really does try. But in the end sex repulses him for some reason. First dreams of running away from home to have a steamy affair with some hot guy, but he learns that Soong isn't really into the idea. Soong seems to like First, but he is hit with the reality that affection won't be able to buy you dinner and it won't pay your rent. And then we have Nont who tells himself that his brother is still alive, while deep down he already knows that something bad must've happend to Nant (I'm delulu about that too, so I feel you Nont!)

Likewise the viewer is also forced back into reality. The dreamlike sequences end abruptly and instead quick humping and bad audio (the Japanese!) is thrown at us. Did you expect something kinky and hot? Did you expect romantic kisses in the rain? Well, you won't get any of that! In Playboyy sex scenes are used as a tool to make the viewer look beyond the dream. Sometimes sex is used for educational purposes or it tells us more about a character and sometimes it makes us think about our own relationship with kink and sex.

In addition, I believe it is also a direct critique towards the majority of BL series that are out on the market right now. Because those shows usually try to ascend sex between two men onto a higher plane. They only highlight the dreamlike romantic aspects of gay relationships and ignore real life issues, even the really small things (how many sex scenes have we all seen where they don't even use the lube and simply go straight at it...). Sex is not soft background music, slow motion shots, perfect hair and pretty make up, the right pose at the right time... Instead it can be messy, funny, weird, with sweat pouring down your face and smeared mascara.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo Queer Cinema Syllabus

Hello! After a holiday hiatus, I am returning to @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus. We will be ringing in the new year with Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley, the totally light-hearted, definitely not agonizing section of the syllabus where I get to watch countless acts of violence be committed against queer people. That fuck I have Lesbians waiting for me at the end of this unit. The films in Unit 4 are: Bent (1997), Strange Fruit (2004), Boys Don’t Cry (1999), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Parting Glances (1986), Philadelphia (1993), The Living End (1992), Holding the Man (2015), Jeffery (1995), and Boys on the SIde (1995)

Today I will be writing about 

Boy’s Don’t Cry (1999) dir. Kimberly Pierce

Content Warning: rape, murder, self harm

[Run Time- 1:58, Lang: English] [I was not able to find Strange Fruit anywhere online so will investigate my library to see if they have a copy]

Summary: A young man named Brandon Teena navigates love, life, and being transgender in rural Nebraska. 

Cast: *Hilary Swank as Brandon Teena *Chloe Sevigny as Lana Tisdel *Peter Sarsgaard as John Lotter *Brendan Sexton III as Tom Nissen *Alicia Goranson as Candace

Side note: Boys Don’t Cry is based on the true story, and real life rape and murder of Brandon Teena, who was 21 years old when he was killed in Fall River, Nebraska. 

__

To start, I’m glad that I looked this film up before I watched it so that I knew what to expect. I don’t know how often this will occur throughout the syllabus, but while the syllabus itself is a lead in to BLs it seems to be structured towards Baby Gays, which means that I am expanding my knowledge of famous trans people in history beyond Stonewall. I didn’t know who Brandon Teena was until I looked up this movie, I didn’t see his name printed in anything until I read Transgender History. 

I am having a delayed reaction to this movie. While I was watching it, I was able to bear witness to the violence, it was graphic, and brutal, but I knew it was coming, I had time to prepare myself, I could abstract the violence being done in to a fictional character, I could remind myself it was a movie when the cameras panned away from the dead bodies and I could see the supposed corpses breathing. And then it was over and I couldn’t escape it anymore. I couldn’t escape the knowledge that this was real, that this actually happened, that what I had just watched, what I was not spared from, was bearing witness to an actual crime, to actual violence, rape, murder of an actual, real human being, of Family. 

I said this in my last post from Heartbreak Alley that I went in to this section just expecting to be put through the wringer for almost the entire length of a film. I would say I went in to this unit expecting to feel my skin crawling the way it did with Mysterious Skin. Instead I have been gifted all sides of queerness: acceptance, homophobia, love, hatred, joy, pain, gentleness, violence. I want to talk for a bit about how grateful I was to see Brandon happy. His experience in this film does speak to truth, to trans experience, the complexity of being loved by a family member but not having your identity respected. Brandon’s cousin cuts his hair short for him, but can’t call him a man. Brandon gets in a bar fight and is beaming afterwards cause he got a shiner, cause random strangers didn’t clock him as trans. Brandon stays in Fall River for far longer than he should because he is riding the high of just getting to exist as himself. I know a number of friends who wanted to immediately get the hell out of dodge when they started their transition. Hell, I barely return home myself. 

Brandon does stupid boy things, he flirts with every pretty girl, he pushes his own boundaries because he wants to prove that he is a man. He smiles. He smiles often. He smiles widely. He smiles. I loved how much he smiled in this movie. I love that his life was not all suffering. This movie is kind to Brandon while still having to put him through the inevitable. 

This movie speaks to queer strength and queer fears, Brandon knew the people who raped and murdered him. They were his friends, he was their friend. They smoked together, drank beer together, and tried to dodge cops together.  John (the man who will go on to murder Brandon) was one of the first people we saw affirm Brandon’s gender identity (at least in the movie). And I think this movie is smart in how they set John and Tom up. They are friendly but they are wild, we learn that John has issues with impulse control, we see how quickly John and Tom can escalate their behavior towards aggression. 

Lana serves a reminder to trans people that we are worthy of being loved, and that there are people who will love us. I love what it says about Lana when she notices Brandon’s breasts during their first sexual encounter. When they finish she feels his lap, searching for a dick, she strokes his cheek and comments on how smooth his face is, she calls him handsome. For me this is where I think Lana figures it out, even if she isn’t told until later. 

Lana (and later on Candace) serve as reminders to me that rural doesn’t mean bigoted. It can. It absolutely can. But there are queer people everywhere, there are allies everywhere, queer people can have a life, find love, experience joy anywhere. When Brandon returns to Lincoln for his court date, his cousin Lonny asks him “Fall River? You know they hang faggots there,” and that could be true. Fall River had people like John and Tom, it also had people like Lana,  Candace, and the nurse. 

[CW: the next few paragraphs will discuss sexual assault] 

I loved that Lana was committed to Brandon as a person, she did not care what his body looked like. I loved that she refused to participate in Brandon’s humiliation. When John and Tom forcibly stripped him and tried to show Lana his vulva, she refused to look. It’s Brandon’s business, she loves Brandon, she doesn’t care, she will ease as much pain and humiliation as she possibly can. 

The rape scene was brutual and hard to watch, especially because they don’t start it right away. Brandon is being interrogated, you get the implication, and while I was writing notes to myself I was just about to write “i’m glad they spared us the scene” when they cut to Brandon’s rape sequence. I sometimes struggle with displayed assaulted scenes, especially when they are associated with real people, because I think it is important to really, fully understand the violence that was committed against Brandon. I think the brutality he was treated with is very much an important thing to sit with and understand, and I am not one to feel like people should turn away from observing acts of violence. But I also don’t know that I love watching the assault of a man who actually existed who was really beaten and gang raped, I don’t think we have any way of knowing if he’d want to show that. I don’t think we have any way of knowing if that honors his memory. 

Either way, I did find it absolutely fascinating from a characterization standpoint what happened after Brandon was raped. Because before they get confirmation that Brandon is trans, they are using Brandon’s name and pronouns, then they get the confirmation and partway through they switch to Brandon’s deadname and misgender him. When they rape him, they misgender him. When he’s raped we see him getting thrown around, slammed against the car, punched in the face, etc. he is treated with such violence, and then it is over and Tom and John and Brandon kinda go back to normal? They gently place his shirt over his torso, they call him buddy, they help him stand up, they help him get in to the car, they ask Brandon if he is okay. 

They take Brandon home, and immediately go back to affirming his identity. Like Brandon is in the bathroom, trying not to hold back or quiet down his breakdown, and John and Tom refer to him as ‘little dude’ when they start asking him if he is okay and if he will need any help. Like???? I feel like I will need to sit in that scene for a while trying to pick apart what John and Tom’s brains are doing there. Don’t get me wrong, the less I have to hear Brandon be deadnamed or misgendered the better, but it was truly a wild thing to see Brandon’s cousin deadname and misgender him all the time while still caring about and loving him, and to see Brandon’s assaulters and future murderers just slip so easily back in to masculine terminology for Brandon in this scene. 

[Assault conversation over]

We get a similar thing with Candace where she is the first person to figure out that Brandon is trans, and she is horrified. But when Brandon comes a-knocking on her door, at first Candance cannot even meet his eye but she still uses his name, and the second she picks up on the fact that something is wrong with the way his voice wavers, she faces him, she softens, she asks him what they did to him, and she lets him back in to her home, she tries to hide him to keep him safe long enough to get out of town. 

And Brandon gets another moment of peace, he and Lana have sex with Lana knowing everything about him. Knowing that he lied about his life, knowing that he has a vagina. They have another moment alone to dream, to talk about leaving Fall River, to plan to run away together. I don’t know if any of that happened in real life, but the movie at least grants Brandon one more moment of joy before his entire life is ripped away from him. 

And it happens so fast. Candace is shot and killed instantaneously. Branon is shot in the head and he dies instantaneously, and John stabs him to make sure he’s finished the job, but in an instant, with the pull of a trigger Brandon is just…gone. Twenty-one years old, a whole life ahead of him. I think movies too often grant its characters a dying monologue. They get to have a final moment before they finally, slowly succumb to their injuries. But not here. Brandon is alive one second, and dead the next. There is no moment for silence right after, there is no remorse with John or Tom, they turn against Lana, they turn against each other. They are firing bullets at random, John is stopping Tom from killing Lana or Candace’s toddler. 

I’ll tell you what though, sometimes the parallels parallel. Two days ago, my friend and I learned of the death of someone we cared about and loved, it’s a devastating loss for our household, and a devastating loss for the broader community. As far as I know, they did not die from any violent action, but they were a part of an incredibly stigmatized and disregarded community. The last few people who have passed away in my life died slowly, I was able to brace for it, but this was quick, unexpected and I say this only because seeing Brandon die so quickly, knowing he was real, knowing he had so much time taken from him, that knowledge just wrapped itself right around the rest of my grief for the week. I had a delayed emotional reaction to this movie, it took a couple minutes of silence afterwards to feel the blow, but I think having watched this when I did, Brandon Teena’s story will live in a different, deeper part of me than most of the films I’ve watched so far. 

Favorite Moment

There isn’t one scene that really stands out to me, cause everything was so strong. I feel like my favorite moment is maybe right at the beginning when Brandon looks in the mirror after his haircut and sees himself and you can just see the happiness take root in his body. 

Favorite Quote

“You’re so handsome” 

Lana says this after she and Brandon have sex for the first time. I talked about it a bit above, but I think she figured out that Brandon was trans here, and I see her calling him handsome as affirmation.

Final Score

9/10

This was a fantastic film with incredible acting.

[medicaldoctordana]

Exactly! It’s like my therapist said to me once, you struggle to understand cues and the process of romantic relationships because you had zero healthy relationships to observe growing up. I doubt his parents had a very affectionate marriage, let alone a healthy one.

With a marriage example filled with secrecy, conspiracies, deceit, and (contested) affairs, Fox Mulder didn't have much to model after. I'm sure things were even more distant and cold after Samantha, and Mulder blamed himself for that loss, even went as far as to assume his parents blamed him for the loss too. (even if Teena blamed herself and Bill and Bill blamed himself and the consortium)

Mulder grew up largely in isolation. There's no mention of family or friends he could look to either. He probably had/has an avoidant attachment style and never let his romantic partners get very close. Now, we also know Mulder to be a chronic oversharer and somewhat secure/curious in his emotionality (re: studied psychology, deep dives into his own psychology) so this makes for an interesting case when getting close to women in particular. (assuming mulder only dates women)

I think Scully was probably the first real, good, secure attachment he experienced, making his dedication to her that much more intense. Even still, we see him engage in his avoidant behaviors with her— jumping ship (lol) and going off on cases without her, sometimes not even telling her that he'd be gone. In IWTB era, he falls back more into his isolation behaviors and continues to be closed off despite his love for Scully.

I dislike a lot of the insinuations that Mulder is a helpless wet puppy dog, always been a good guy, never does anything mean, when I think that's untrue. I don't think Mulder would be intentionally malicious or do anything drastically horrid or unforgivable, but I do think he was a bad partner to Phoebe and Diana and the like. I think he struggled a lot to be a partner at all and it showed in how he treated both himself and them.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

playboyy ep 12 stray thoughts

- “damn i hate myself” real

- first soong being cute 🥹🥹

- you know shits about to get emotional when the soundtrack switches to yoiyami

- “you called me a friend when you weren’t pretending to be nant” AND WHAT IF I LOSE MY MIND

- zouey and nont besties agenda

- OH GOD ZOUEY BACKSTORY wait noooooo

- i guess the evidence is staying hidden then like boy are they in their failvestigator era oh nvm they found something (that they already knew but still that’s more than they usually get

- promnont !!!

- hold on they finally showing zoueyteena. they can never just give a quick handy either always gotta be invoking the religious implications of a renaissance painting… good for them (yes i include the popcorn scene in this) also top zouey truthers this one was for you!!!

- what are you hiding under that tarp zouey 🤨🤨 i think it’s of nant

- hold on teena’s necklace lmao. is the t for troy no it’s for *too sleepy to finish the bit*

- NO GET A JOB!! STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!

- finna beat the shit out of jason lee give me 10 seconds i could take him out

- what does he mean by keep an eye on…

- oop that scarf zouey in his horse girl era

- THEY DOING WHAT TO WHO?!?!?

- she is not scared of them at all like two absolute kitty cats of toruturers MEKEKFKKRKRJFJFJF NOT THE DUSTERS I CANT

- the drop of sweat deserves an award for perfect timing and i’m being so serious about this

- AHH PROMNONT i can’t handle them being affectionate like it makes me lose my oh not the fuckass product placemntsjdjjdjdjrjrjjejdjr you know what i got me some promnont crumbs i’ll take it

- so i’m gonna see this scene expanded in fic later right 👀 i’ll give a million kisses to anyone who decides to do it

- they can never argue using simple sentences it’s always “i feel bad that you feel bad that i felt bad” and “im mad that you got mad that i got mad” and “if you have a problem that we have a problem than the problem is you’re invalidating my feelings” “i didn’t think you would think about me thinking” like besties….

- see but zouey was kinda right… why is he being made the bad guy, first and captain kinda pissin me off

- girl YOU got him expelled. captain needs to be fr

- NONT WITH THE BIG PANT CROPPED SHORT COMBO THATS MY MAN

- these college athletes are plain evil

- puen lowkey the only one in this show consistently talking sense. i hope he gets his licks back on these bum bitches cause i’ve had it with them

- the coloring the coloring the coloring the coloring the coloring the projection the projection the projection

- THE. HESS BOARD BEING PROJECTED PLAYBOYY SURREALISM FOR THE WON ONCE AGAIN

- captain talking big game for someone who took sneaky clips. hoping this shows growth on his part cause deep down im still rooting for him

- captain sweaty blow up the whole establishment i support you

- NO CAPTAIN THATS NOT WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO THATS VERY MUCH MOT WHAT I JUST SAID YOU LITTLE BASTARD

- ooo the outro track finally making sense!! kejrjejdnjdj

- i love the when soong carries first

- oh more food, user @jeffsatyr i’m so sorry

- firstsoong enthusiasts we are so back oh there goes firsts fuckass dad

- captain needs to stop picking fights AND CAPTAINS A YANKEES fan i can’t defend him anymore

- puen fight back!!! he was going easy on captain cause he’s a nice little boy oh shit now aobs gonna kill captain isn’t he…

- captainkeenpuen enthusiasts don’t lose hope!!! we can still win!!

- aobpuen enthusiasts were so back

- THE COLORING THE COLORING THE COLORING

- the characters and 'accurately assessing the media their in' saga continues

- porsche looks like such a baby here. jump listen to porsche pls do not see him again

- cry by johannes bornlof is playing they fr pulling out the nuthphop ballads for the other couples today

- puen is my boy and i will lay down my life for him actually

- NONT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT IM GONNA WALHAT WHAT WYHAHW ok sorry yall him with the gun did sumn to me

- nont once again will not be caught slacking holding someone at gun point be damned AND ITS CAPTAIN WITB THE STEAL POLL?!?!?!?

- nont… i need to know how he picks outfits like did he want the color to match the gun????

- nont chuckling in the corner... i fear he’s lost it

- playboyy once again with the themes of tech and privacy

- captain is lucky puen is lowkey a pacifist

- nont and captain: torturing aob and puen for info about the murder, zoueyteena: painting time !!

- oh my god yall im getting chills like fr speechless i am so…

NUTH MY BABY BOY

- nuth coming through with his amateur directorial visions let’s gooooo

- nont being like “please do a little bit of torture, just for me, please 🥺”

- he playing the funeral violin oh it’s not ending well oh god

- jason lee you will crumble i am so serious about this count your mother fucking days

- nuth scurrying away in the back… also nont where is your marksmanship now

- puen keeps suffering tremendously and he doesn’t deserve a single second of it. free my boy he fr has never done anything wrong

- i think i was right and nuths screenplay is autobiographical

- THEYRE PLAYING AMBIVRLANT THOGUHTS AGAIN NUTHPHOP PIANO BALLAD ENTHUSAISTS WE STAY WELL FED

- nuthphop my beloveds i love them so fucking much you don’t get it no wait why he deleting them oh shit ! phop play shitty games win shitty prizes dawg

- welp

yall this might be one of the strongest eps in a hot minute i loved this one had me at the edge of my seat the whole time

[technicallyverycowboy]

Top 5 BL scenes/moments? 👀💕

OKAY as soon as i sat down to think about this my brain immediately went "we have never watched one single show in our life" so it took me a couple days to mull it over. in no particular order (behind a cut because i got wordy and needed to include illustrative screencaps)

moonlight chicken - uncle jim pulling out that ear bite move on wen

for my money i think moonlight chicken is gmmtv at its best, in no small part because it's about two grown adults and has a much tighter 8 episode run. (my only real qualm is believing that earth, whomst was 29, was meant to be almost 40. drop the skincare routine, loong jim, the people need to know.)

so much of the show is about longing -- for people and places and times that are gone -- and this scene cashes in so well on the seven previous episodes of growing tension and comfort between jim and wen. you can't always get what you want but, like, sometimes you do and it's fuckin' great.

2. bed friends - king fully laying on top of uea after banging

obviously the cat sex scene was a close, close second to this, because i very much do often think about king's rapturous expression when he tells uea that he really does look like a cat. chase your bliss, king.

but something about the intimacy of this moment burned itself into my brain. it's partially the implication that uea was getting fucked from behind (which pretty much never happens in bls) and partially the bone deep satisfaction they're both radiating. most fade to black sex scenes don't really convince me the characters did fuck in the pause, but this one 100% did.

3. playboyy - nont putting prom in his place

OKAY truly i could have put the vast majority of the six aired episodes of the show so far and it would have been true. soong and first in the pool throwing cash around. zouey and teena's painting thing. phob and nuth's wildly romantic in an "i'm in danger" way sex scenes.

but i came back to this one because it was the moment when i felt like the show clicked a piece solidly into place. nont isn't nant and he's done pretending that he is. prom does not get to act like he knows nont and he does not get to tell nont what to do. this little exchange did so much to get me really interested in both these characters. prom's face journey from annoyed to so hard he might pass out is fuckin' divine.

4. only friends - top and boston

only friends made many, many mistakes and i won't relitigate them here. still, when episode 3 came out, my expectations were solid and there was a lot of promise in what we'd seen so far.

everything about this sex scene is fucking perfect. the fucked up relationship between boston and top. nick listening. the three second shot of boston blowing top. force and neo put their whole pussies into this and delivered.

5. i told sunset about you - a tie between teh and oh-aew's first time really touching each other and oh-aew trying on the red bra after teh shoots him down

this entire sequence -- after they've sat downstairs inching closer together on the couch -- is one of the most erotic things i've ever seen in any media. and literally nothing happens but them sitting together while teh runs his hands all over oh-aew.

there's so little dialogue here; the incredible longing they're both feeling is 100% told through their expressions and the way they touch each other. the first time i watched it, i probably replayed this scene four or five times. nothing has ever captured what it's like to really, really want someone for the first time, when it's the most consuming feeling you've ever had.

a gifset of this scene is actually what made me decide to sit down and watch itsay in the first place. pp krit is great in all of the show, but this moment of a particularly queer expression of heartbreak is devastating every single time i watch it.

"if i was x, someone would love me," is such a common refrain when you're queer. watching oh-aew go through that imagining if he was a girl and teh could actually like him back in the daylight broke my fuckin' heart. (i also think it's a really lovely way to foreshadow oh-aew being told he's not manly enough for acting later on.)

[akria23]

I took this photo while watching a teaser…It def looks like Zouey to me & I don’t know how to feel about that.

I joke about Zouey being the killer because there’s a number of things I’ve found suspicious about him or moments that have raise flags for me,

Him not wanting anyone else to catch him watching the birthday video of the group with Nant.

The first painting he was ‘engaging’ with - I couldn’t place the subject.

The constant hinting at something having happened to him.

The secret room / the No touch zone items

The side eyes

But most of all it was the question of if Zouey is such the righteous person he presents himself to be, if the bond between he and Nant was as true as the narrative wants us to believe then why did Nant not seek help from him? Why did he go to Prom…

I couldn’t help but think - even if Prom is a puppy dog that would do whatever wouldn’t you go to your friend first? But then when one of the recent episodes shows that Nant had 2 phones and did seem to be in contact with someone that day I thought it had either be his bestie Zouey or my number one suspect Tutor. Maybe Zouey was more in the know than we ever thought.

However even when I added Zouey to my suspect list it was mostly in a loose manner because I don’t want Zouey to be any type of killer not because he’s Xouey or because he’s with Teena and he’s a baddie - no it’s because he’s built as the ‘righteous sweet’ character he automatically because the most suspicious character. Even if he’s not at the forefront of your mind he still swirls at the back because we suspect innocent type of characters to intentionally be written that way so they can be a deception or twist in the reveal. Imo because of that these type of characters are always best as the distraction rather than the real deal.

Granted they could work his motive and give us something crazy. Or this who death of what looks to be Jump could be something else…doubt it tho considering we’re to the wire now with only 2 episodes left.

Or it might not be Zouey at all - it damn sure looks like Zouey to me tho…

Is it possible Zouey wants to kill Jump but didn’t kill Nant? Again I don’t think so because we’re so close to the end I’m expecting the killer (if there is one) to be revealed in this next episode. I don’t get why he’d want to kill Jump tho - I have a theory on why he’d want to kill Nant but Jason is the one who wanted Jump dead and it didn’t seem like Zouey had a connection to Jason, Aob or even Nuth that would lead him to killing Jump.

*Edit - I did lighten the promo photo as well cause the hair at first made me think it was Nont as it did look like in some places. But the length and the highlights wouldn’t be right. I also considered Nant and it being a flashback def since we still haven’t gotten an explanation for the bloody hand print if I recall….But the screen cap I took from the teaser doesn’t look like either of the twins…Crazy that I’d prefer it be one of them 😂 I really shouldn’t want Nont’s ‘kill ‘em’ dreams to come into fruition.

Idk it really does look like Zouey to me but I guess in a matter of hours we’ll see what exactly the episode has in store for us - murder mystery and all….

UPDATE: just finished the episode it wasn't him. The bangs...I should’ve caught that 😮‍💨 - Anyway glad it wasn't him cause this feels like it clears him completely. I'm okay with anyone being the killer but Zouey because like I said Zouey being the most righteous automatic makes him the least likely character and therefore on everybody’s sus list and I think these types should never be the actual villain for that reason alone. I feel like the rule of thumb is never choose the most or least likely choose the overlooked character in the middle - someone whose clues were obscure enough to get lost in the mix but still gives the audience that uhhh of course I saw that why didn’t it click for me there.

[forkaround]

Playboyy Ep 5 Trash Watch Part 1

Have I done this for E1 - 4? No. But I don't think I can watch this show without making a post or it's a waste of an hour for me and as much as I want to watch this show I can't keep track of anything at all.

You know most of these actors remind me of Pat from Step by Step, especially the kids club. It's that same slack jawed, plump lips expression.

Wait wait wait this whole thing started because of a comment? A play? A dare? Dude what are guys doing out in the world. We need to keep all the boys under lock and key to make sure they don't hurt themselves.

Nuthyim is the username. The lead character is Nont, twin - Nant. You see the confusion.

Wait I thought this was about hitting on someone to get experience for a play, how did it end up in a red light scene with hoods over their heads??? Keep the boys home.

Why does Nant look like he is scamming people when asking for money?? Why doesn't he ask his dad?? Nont?? They are more likely to give money for mom. Unless it's not for mom in that case Nont being angry doesn't make sense. I feel like he didn't really have to do any of this. Even if it wasn't for mom, Asian families would do anything, anything to avoid a scandal. Okay, so while the characters might not get that the writer should. Otherwise it lacks logic as a story coz we are the audience, we have a birds eye view, it won't land for the audience.

So if Nont has revealed himself now, then what was the 'having sex with anything that moves'? Clearly not part of a plan to find his brother. It's the logic again. Not there.

I'm only 5 mins in and this looks more like a spectacle than a real examination of the story being told. I'm not new to crime dramas and I'm not new to sex worker protags so I know this is poorly written. Simple as that. Like the Soong kidnaps First opening. There for shock value only. This too.

Why didn't he tell them who the third guy is? I suppose since they already fought about Teena it's explainable. But like don't say three things and not show three things. It's incomplete. I'm having a Sheldon moment. Complete the sentence!

STOP SPEAKING ENGLISH. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH! I imagine this is how Italian, French, Spanish speakers feel when someone butchers the language. I couldn't even understand it without the subs. Reminds me of House and Sheldon speaking Hindi.

Also do you feel guilty or not boy? That's your friend who is missing. You do like him right? Did the writer just really love that line?

You know I don't care that it's unsexy, I don't care it's weird, I won't care about the horrible pacing. This show is stupid. And that's where I draw the line. I watch Cdramas, I know pacing issues but never have they turned me off so much.

They are all overdramatic about their relationships and I'm left asking - why do you care??? Why do any of you care??? You clearly are unemotional enough when it was Nant, why do you care about these boys??? Where is the logic??

Are they all Mary Sues? Coz I can't see any other reason for these guys to be so crazy over these kids.

This show could have used color coding clothes. or the pair's name starting with the same letter.

Is Zoey the Mew of this group??? He feels like the Mew of this group.

And that's what I mean that this show is confusing. I had no idea why Zoey was angry with Captain until his friend explained it. Stilted af. It's like someone wrote scenes and forgot the flow.

You know we've seen shows like these. Rich kids being shitty isn't new. Gossip Girl made that a thing long before anyone else. For something small town there is Pretty Little Liars. They did shit to each other all the time. But they made sense. I should clarify - they made sense for what we knew of the characters without losing the pacing.

Anyone else feeling a distinct urge to slap the car boy?

I can't watch any more today. Buh-bye

[iwoll]

More People Have Television Sets Than College Degrees: A Deeper Look Into Transgender Portrayal in the Media

In recent times, the fight for LBGTQ+ equality has become a hot, but important, topic. While the representation for lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals is severely lacking, the transgender community is frequently misrepresented in the media. Modern transgender representation in the media— as broad as film, literature, and newscasters— has the power to, and does actively, reinforce negative stereotypes.

Terminology is immensely important when it comes to the topic of transgender and nonbinary individuals. According to Johns Hopkins University, the term “transgender,” (often shortened to “trans”) is an umbrella term for individuals whose gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth. “Cisgender” is a term for people whose gender identity generally matches the gender assigned for their physical sex. A transgender man (or FTM) is someone who identifies as a man but was born a woman. A transgender woman (or MTF) is someone who identifies as a woman but was born a man (x). According to the Yale School of Medicine, the term sex should be used as a classification— generally male or female— according to the reproductive organs and functions that derive from the chromosomal complement. These chromosomes are generally XX for females and XY for males. The term “gender” should be used to refer to a person's self-identification as a man, a woman, or something in between, or how that person is responded to by society on the basis of the individual's gender presentation (x). These terms have been ever changing, so this is what is best known by science. 

The topic of transgenderism is still a taboo in modern film; however, as the transgender community is reaching a certain level of tolerance, that topic is coming up more and more. The 1999 film, Boys Don't Cry, tells the true story of Brandon Teena, a young transgender man living in Nebraska. He finds a group of friends who take him in after he runs away from his unsupportive home. No one in the group knows he is transgender until they find a court summons in the trash with his dead-name (or birth name) written on it. Two of his male friends attack him and force his then-girlfriend to look at his genitalia. Afterwards, the two rape and beat him. He hides out at another friend's house before skipping town, but his attackers learn of his whereabouts and ultimately shoot him which, in turn, kills him. 

Director of Boys Don’t Cry, Kimberly Pierce, admits to taking creative liberties with Teena’s story. Brendon Teena was a real transgender man who was brutally assaulted and killed. This was the first time a transgender character was seen on screen being portrayed as the hero of the story; however, the hero that Brandon Teena became was a hero for cisgender audiences. For transgender audiences, he became a warning of what could happen if they came out openly. This message can feed into the perception that being queer is dangerous— and potentially deadly. “Bury Your Gays” is a trope that correlates to this story and occurs frequently in early and modern media. This trope requires that LGBTQ+ characters die or meet some other type of unhappy ending after reaching what is perceived as true happiness (x). These depictions of primarily dead representations have severed a message of purpose, celebration, love, and self-acceptance.  Pierce, as cisgender member of the LGBTQ+ community, profited off the rape and murder of a young trans man. The fact that cisgender creative liberties overpower real transgender stories further perpetuates the trans voices being silenced. When there are no transgender voices heard, cisgender people, who does not understand the trans experience, are able to create what they think is truth; which, in turn, leads to disinformation.

Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters (2020), a book written by Abigail Shrier that discusses and critiques topics of transgender youth and the gender-affirming model of care, has sold more than 60,000 copies according to Publisher’s Weekly. This book has been heavily criticized by not only transgender individuals and their allies, but also medical institutions such as the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry and American Psychological Association. Shrier earned degrees in philosophy from Columbia College New York and the University of Oxford and a law degree from Yale Law School; however, through her own admission, she knew very little about gender dysphoria before writing her book. She also admits to having “negligible understanding of human anatomy, psychology, and endocrinology” (x). Shier effectively penetrates transgender literature while knowing little to nothing about the struggles of the community.

She goes on to write: “Gender dysphoria… typically begins in early childhood– ages two to four– though it may grow more severe in adolescence. But in most cases– nearly 70 percent– childhood gender dysphoria resolves” (Shrier xxvii). Shrier incorrectly uses this statistic to claim that transgender youth should not be offered gender-affirming medical interventions since most will change their minds and regret their decision of transition. The studies Shrier refers to used an outdated diagnosis of “gender identity disorder,” not the DSM-5 diagnosis of gender dysphoria. According to Dr. Jack L. Turban of Psychology Today, “The old criteria [of Gender Identity Disorder] largely focused on gender expression (think a tomboy or a cisgender boy who likes ‘feminine’ toys). Those kids aren’t  transgender, so it’s not surprising that most of them weren’t transgender at follow-up. This problem with the ‘gender identity disorder’ diagnosis from the DSM-IV was fixed for the DSM-V” (x). To science’s current understanding, the aforementioned statements hold true and are supported by psychology.

The very real and prevalent effect of disinformation and, in other words, fake news shows itself in modern means of telebroadcasting; which includes, but is not limited to, television broadcasts, internet shows, and livestreams. Tucker Carlson is a well known Fox News host whose television segment, “Tucker Carlson Tonight,” reaches an average of 3.385 million viewers (x). Though he is incredibly outspoken about the medical aspects of transgender individuals, Carlson Graduated from Trinity College in 1991 with a Bachelor of Arts in history.  In one segment, Carlson explains to his audience that “the United States specifically protects chemical castration of minors when it's conducted in the name of something called trans rights” (x). Carlson later goes on to say in the same segment that “slicing off” a child’s sex organs is what many people claim is “gender affirming care.” He states that “it's all we're now calling a best practice.” The “chemical castration” in question is called hormone, or puberty, blockers, and that form of drug is used for more than just transgender preteens. Many cisgender men and women who have hormonal imbalances require hormone blockers. Some adult trans women benefit from hormone blockers to block the natural testosterone in their bodies, which allows the synthetic estrogen to work more effectively. It has been proven time and time again that there are no known irreversible effects of puberty blockers. If someone decides to stop taking them, their body will go through puberty in the same way it would have if they had not taken puberty blockers at all. In fact, health care providers that refuse to provide puberty blockers to trans youth can cause additional distress, which may lead to increased rates of anxiety and depression. Withholding puberty blockers and hormone therapy is not a neutral option and can result in an increased risk of mental health issues (x). The use of half-truths and frightening words gives into the idea that being transgender is horrific and utterly disfiguring.

Carlson has built a career off of reactionary politics, which allows disinformation to spread quickly throughout his broad audience. Using harsh terms such as “chemical castration” and “ghoulish” is a disinformation technique called fearmongering. Nobody wants a child to be chemically infertile or seen as a ghoulish figure to the public, so, of course, scared parents will leech onto that information. Carlson has fostered a career of poorly, if any, researched information that has been disproven time and time again in order to further his beliefs. The issue is not that he is sharing his opinion, the issue is that what he is spreading contradicts all that science and psychology knows to date.

Transgender individuals are portrayed in the media as mentally ill, perverted jokes. The quick spreading disinformation on the effects of gender dysphoria and and how transgender people live their lives is heavily impacting transgender livelihood. Lack of knowledge, speaking over transgender voices, and ignorance leads to misinformation which leads to disinformation. Protected classes, especially those of minorities, deserve fair medical, social, and political representation. 

[lozislaw]

Hey!! I think a while back ago I gushed (through anon again) about how much I love your south park fics, particularly the alien one (gosh it's still delicious) and now I have returned, older and more wise, to say that I've read the antibody fic too and what the absolute heck man ??? I read it all in one go even though I meant for it to be graciously spaced out and UGH how do you DO THIS????? You've really gotten into Kyle's head, so much so that it feels like he's got complete autonomy and he's so real here.

My particular favourite aspects for the fic are Butters and Kenny, because dude, it's them, and honestly I didn't know I needed to see some semblance of a friendship between butters and kyle till you pumped this out. Wendy and, damn, cartman? Or should I say Erica? Is such a concept too! Whenever they come into the scene I get excited hehe. Scott was a bit of a surprise, but I'm curious as to whether he will genuinely grow close to Kyle. Ah gosh, don't get me started on Kyle. Feels like watching a train wreck and on one hand you want to coddle him and go Nooo it's okay honey, other hand, you kinda wanna see how much further he can go, and third hand, it's painful bit in a good way? Might be biased because it's just from his pov but feels like Kyle seriously fared the worst after the 'divorce'. His mind and thoughts are so hectic and how that manifests itself in your writing is so gold. My heart aches every time he talks to Stan but it's so addictive seeing how they bounce off each other.

Small side note though, Kyle was so fixated on Stan bringing up ice men it made me laugh. And Stan being so smug about Kyle calling the idea of him being him up hot is hilarious, make me wonder if Stan goes into, for lack of better phrasing and apologies for possible crudeness, gay panic at the sight of Kyle just like how Kyle does at him. Well Kyle hasn't changed much appearance wise but nevertheless .... <<

Also Stan mentioned something about how he expressed his feelings three times and kyle rejected it? Or am I remembering wrong? Is this a reference to something in canon or is this some sort of hint :'00 I need to reread these 8 chapters and scrutinise everything better

Oh Bruh I'm so sorry for such an obnoxious long ask I should've commented on ao3! But still, thanks for feeding the world with your amazing writing and frankly mind blowing art. Hope you have a wonderful day <33

I too, Anon, have come back to you older and wiser, and by doing so I can return to you with an eloquent response, instead of the torrent of childish emojis and button mashing that my heart so desperately wants. Because you fucking angel - how dare you come into my house and say these things to me raw no rubber. And because of that, I'll try and respond your theories as "wait and see" free as I can.

I'm so flattered that you like the way Kyle is being written, and I'm pretty pleased with his character in the story myself. Because yes, I very much intend him to be a sandy butthole of an antihero protagonist, and I want him to hurt as much as possible in this plot. I'm just spit roasting this guy until he's sizzled and cooked and at his lowest. Because what does the boy have to lose anymore? No friends, a bad reputation, a truckload of unwanted therapy and no way out of the situation. Or so he believes.

Kenny and Butters? My absolute favourites in this story, apart from everyone else because I love every character and the role they play - even poor Dr Debby - I mean Teena, Downer. They’re at peace with each other and living a world behind the scenes that Kyle refuses to accept as anything but being buttbuddies that kicked him to the curb so they could go and fuck each other without a third-wheel.

And Butters and Kyle, yes! I love love love their relationship and exploring it, even it’s not much done in fandom, considering in the show they almost have a younger/ older brother relationship. I jump onto that dynamic in the story, where Kyle tries to look out for Butters even if he doesn’t like showing it (as any older sibling does), but Butters was trying to break free and be rebellious in life and he was carrying a wet blanket around who hated the mere idea of change so much that he still wears his disgusting carrot orange jacket and thinks it fits. Hmm, kind of reminds me of Post-Covid Kyle...

Now to the part I hate to say, but Stan is my biggest secret in the story and I’m not spilling anything big, until the time comes. But yeah I think it’s at least obvious that he thinks about that “hot” comment Kyle made in his dying last words. Of course it is - just imagine if Post-Covid Kyle called Stan hot and then passed out and just fucking died. Stan would be obsessing over that shit for a looong time.

Ah yes, and those drunk confessions;

You’re right to wonder if those rejections happened in canon or later in the story, and I’m gonna go ahead and rip off the band-aid that it’s from both. But who wants to hear about that? Moving on. :p

You call it long and obnoxious, I call it beautiful and perfect. Don’t you dare ever apologise for writing this ask, you don’t know how often I read this for two days before I started drafting this response. 

My new chapter is nicely in progress and hopefully you’ll enjoy it and not hate me for tugging your balls like I have this whole time. Thank you so much for reading this fic so far. It’s my favourite I've ever worked on (and alien fic is a close second!!).

Here’s the link to the fic for anyone unfortunate enough to stumble upon this messy response and wonder what all the big fuss is about. And I thank you in advance. 

Have a great day too anon, I smooch your hands. <3

[film-masochisme]

Re: Elliot Page and the Visibility of Trans Men in Media

I’ve seen a fair amount of confusion regarding his coming out, arguably more so than any other prominent celebrity coming out as trans. I think it boils down to the fact that with there is a startling lack of visibility for trans men in media and in society in general. Some would argue that it’s due to trans men going stealth, or that their identities are rarely brought up because of how “easier” it is for them to blend in. Frankly, a lot of this rhetoric doesn’t help to address the problem. I think Elliot’s coming out will mean a great deal going forward because in my mind aside from Chaz Bono (who was at best famous for his family as opposed to his own identity), there really hasn’t been a major star with a career this successful doing this. I mean, as a massive cinephile and connoisseur of queer films and media, there are probably this many films out there with prominent transmasc characters:

Boys Don’t Cry (1999):  While a trailblazing and brilliantly-made film, the fact remains that being transmale was so poorly-discussed at the time (transwomen were more visible in media then too, with films like The World According to Garp and Dog Day Afternoon), that most people viewed Brandon Teena as a lesbian than a trans man. The film treats him as male and is fairly respectful, but it still deadnames him at the end (after a fairly depressing conclusion) and used a real-life hatecrime to call attention to something rather than an earnest attempt to understand it.

Southern Comfort (2001): A documentary about the last year in the life of Robert Eads, a trans man with terminal breast cancer. Very sad, very moving and honest, but sadly extremely little seen. Find this if you can.

Predestination (2014): A sci-fi time traveling film which I won’t reveal too much about because the labyrinthian narrative is rather unique and clever; it features a transmale character as one of the two leads (the other being Ethan Hawke) and actually makes (without spoiling) a fairly compelling “fantastical” argument about how gender dysphoria manifests itself in a linear timeline of one’s life, which I found interesting. Unfortunately, the fact that the character is trans is largely used for plot reasons as opposed to an exploration of identity. Probably the most visible trans male character in a major film in the past decade though, so props.

Strange Circus (2001): Sion Sono and gender issues seem to go hand in hand. He’s addressed them in numerous films (such as Love Exposure, Noriko’s Dinner Table, and more recently The Forest of Love) and here I can’t really reveal how a trans male character fits into it (used as a very corny plot revelation) but needless to say a character is shown to be transmale in an archetypally irritating way that does nothing for the plot. Also a fairly-little seen movie even in Sono’s eclectic catalogue. 

3 Generations (2016): Fairly banal and borderline-unwatchable platitude fest about a trans male teen’s struggle to get on hormones, told not from his point of view but from that of his confused mother and TERF lesbian grandmother. Stupid, cis-gaze bullshit.

Romeos (2011) and Tomboy (2011): Both are films abut being stealth and/or in the closet at young ages, and both are again, little seen outside art house/cinephile/film festival circles.

And the list goes on and on. Truth is, because of lack of understanding and visibility, society views Elliot as who he was before in such a stupid way (Guys I work with would talk about how hot he was in a typical toxically masculine way that made me sick) that who he was before is how so many people will forever see him. They watch films like Juno or Inception and to them, that person is inextricably linked with him forever. As a trans person, it’s hard for me to say how I feel about myself before. While that person is a part of me, it’s a part of me I’ve spent years burying and running from. And even then, sometimes, it’s hard not to see something of that person when I look in the mirror. I detested that person and it was somebody I’m not, but at least I don’t have to deal with reminders of them except when around family or mementoes from my past.

I can’t even begin to imagine how Elliot must feel with being an A-list celebrity and having an entire film career as someone you aren’t anymore. But risking your entire career to be yourself is the most noble and admirable thing one can do. My fiance is a minor celebrity who achieved some fame before her own transition, and she put it in the best way:

“In my mind, the things I did before transition were still things I did. To credit them to my old name does make it seem as though I was not the one who did them. Yes, the person by my old name did them, but that person is me.”

And so, the point I want to make is this: Everyone’s identity is their own, and everyone has their own views on their pasts. What Elliot is doing is amazing. What news to wake up to. Just when I thought COVID killed the dreamy magic of the movies that bring me joy, something else came along to put a smile on my face. Fantastic. 

[marshmallow-xphile]

My thoughts on the sexuality of some of my favorite X-files characters.

I posted this in my X-files amino back in June as part of a LGBTQ pride challenge and for some reason I only just thought to post it here as well.

Fox Mulder: openly bisexual

Mulder is so open sexually that I really don't think gender matters all that much to him. He does seem to prefer females but I wouldn't be even remotely surprised if he had a boyfriend or two in the past. I don't think he's flamboyant about his sexuality but I don't think he'd hide it at all either

My evidence:

In the season one episode "Ghost in the Machine" we meet an Mulder's ex-partner, Jerry, and I absolutely feel like there is an ex-lovers vibe to the both of them. They hug upon first seeing each other, Mulder looks incredibly happy to see him, when Mulder says they worked together Jerry corrects him to say they were partners at which point Mulder looks over at Scully as if to see her reaction. Mulder has this real guilty look to him. When Jerry acts a little self conscious Mulder is real quick to jump in and reassure him. They get in each other's personal space. It just really leaves me with the impression that they care deeply for one another and broke up for other reasons, perhaps the different career goals as Mulder tells Scully.

We also have Mulder with Krycek. From the very beginning of Krycek's involvement with the X-files I feel like the writers went out of their way to make a correlation between the change in partnership and a new partner in a relationship. There is a scene in Sleepless where Mulder and Scully are on the phone and Mulder tells Krycek he'll be right there, the rest of the conversation feels reminiscent of two exes chatting about the change brought about by the new relationship. Scully even brings up that it must be nice having a partner who doesn't question his every theory.

There were many scenes in Sleepless, Duane Barry, and Ascension in which Mulder and Krycek were alone but that we never got to see who knows for example what the two of them got to talking about while they were stuck in traffic during the drive to New York in Sleepless. Or how often they hung out between Sleepless and Duane Barry.

During Mulder and Scully's partnership Mulder only called her 'Dana' on a few emotional occasions. He started casually calling Krycek 'Alex' almost immediately.

Let us not forget the infamous speedo scene. While yes it definitely showed more of a Krycek attraction to Mulder than the opposite. It does make one wonder what led him to wear such a revealing bathing suit. How many straight men do you know who wear speedos? My guess is few. How many straight men wear speedos when they can reasonably assume their male partner will show up looking for them? Not many would be guess.

And then there is their relationship after Krycek is revealed to be a traitor. They both tend to act more like scorned lovers than enemies and notice that it's Mulder, not Krycek, who cannot seem to keep his hands off the other. Seriously it's like every time Krycek shows up, Mulder immediately grabs him.

Now here's a couple quotes from Mulder,

Krycek tells Mulder he most be losing it because Krycek beat him with one hand. Mulder's immediate reaction: "isn't that how you like to beat yourself?"

When the little man in Humbug is lined up pretty much exactly with Mulder's crotch he says that Mulder would be surprised how many women find his size alluring. Mulder's immediate reaction: "you'd be surprised how many men do as well"

How many straight guys do you know comfortable enough with their sexuality to make a gay innuendo? I personally cannot think of any.

Dana Scully: bicurious

I believe that Scully is sometimes attracted to women. It definitely is not as blatant as with Mulder and I really don't think she's had any past girlfriends but I definitely think that there is an attraction.

My evidence:

In the episode "Ice" I really felt like there are a few tender moments between her and Felicity Huffman's character especially while they were examining one another for the worms. That examination had a sort of sexual energy to it I thought.

In the episode "kill switch" theres a moment where the Invisagoth asked if she could have her handcuffs removed or if she should type with her tongue. Mulder mentions that she doesn't want a vote there and the look on Scully's face and the way she licks her lips, I definitely get the impression that she would have been perfectly happy to see what Invisagoth could get up to with that tongue.

Some people point to Scully's relationship with Reyes as evidence of her bisexuality, I personally don't see any attraction there on Scully's side but I don't think its outside the realm of possibility.

Monica Reyes: Closeted lesbian

This one's probably a surprise I know there was something between here and Brad as well as a flirtation with Doggett so you would probably think she was Bisexual but honestly was either one of those even remotely convincing? To me they weren't. I believe that Reyes is a lesbian.

I kind of go back and forth on whether she's open about it. Reyes is very spiritual and open so it seems strange that she would be in the closet but maybe she has a reason, fear of it affecting her career in the FBI perhaps? It just seems strange that she keeps pursuing these heterosexual relationships she has no passion for unless she is trying to hide her true passion.

My evidence:

I admit I really have very little evidence but look at the relationship between Reyes and Brad Follmer. It had all the chemistry of two people who got really drunk once and cannot remember sleeping together. I don't for a second believe she was ever in love with Brad nor he in love with her.

Then you've got the same thing between her and Doggett. Yes the writers were obviously trying for a romantic angle with the two of them but to me it never came across as convincing. It seemed more like she thought of him as a good friend and figured she might as well date him, I saw no evidence of love or attraction.

On the other hand look at her and Scully. While I feel like the attraction there was one sided I definitely feel like Reyes was into Scully or Dana as she would call her. Reyes was willing to risk her life for Scully and yes that is her job after all but Reyes seems to take that above and beyond and it's not just Scully herself but also William. Look at how protective Reyes is of William in The Truth and of the sacrifice Scully made in giving him up. She seems to care even more than Mulder on that.

Cigarette-Smoking-Man: Asexual

CSM has probably had sex at some point, he is of course the father of at least three children but I do not think that he was ever in love with any of these women or even attracted to them. I believe they were all just a means to an end.

I believe that CSM's only love was for his cigarettes

Evidence:

There is a little bit of evidence that he might have actually felt something for Teena Mulder but I don't buy it. He freely admits that he felt nothing for Cassandra Spender but he must've been convincing if he got her to marry him and we have seen him fake emotions more than once. He also seemed to show an attraction to Scully in En Ami but that too was just a means to an end. Perhaps he does feel something towards all the women he has impregnated but I wouldn't call it love. I don't see any real attraction there either. My bet is that CSM needed some "help" in order to produce his offspring.

Alex Krycek: Gay

While Krycek did have an obviously sexual relationship with Marita Covarrubias he definitely didn't have any real feelings for her and I don't buy attraction either. No I'd say they were both just trying to use sex to get what they wanted. His anger at finding the Russian boy gone wasn't because he was heartbroken at her betrayal. Merely mad that she'd managed to get the upper hand.

Whether Krycek is open or in the closet I'm not sure, I'm thinking it probably depends on the mission hes on at the time.

Evidence:

Of everyone on this list I'd say Krycek is the one I'm the most sure of. There is no doubt in my mind that Krycek was attracted to, perhaps even in love with, Fox Mulder. From the very beginning there appeared to be a bit of longing in his eyes.

There was the speedo scene wherein Krycek was definitely checking Mulder out. There were several scenes where Krycek could've killed Mulder but chose to help him instead.

As I've seen pointed out before, Krycek's crazy motivational choices don't make any sense at all unless it's all in an effort to be around Mulder more.

Look at his sense of style and his obvious love for lip gloss. I am not saying that straight men cannot love lip gloss and dress themselves in Krycek's fashion but it is uncommon and it was especially so back in the 90s

The infamous kiss in The Red and the Black could certainly be explained away as some kind of Russian custom but it isn't one that I am aware of and he hasn't really shown any other signs of his Russia heritage.

I would say my best evidence of Krycek's sexuality is in Essence and Existence, just look at the look on Krycek's face when Mulder trusts him to protect Scully. Krycek knows what Scully means to Mulder and then look at how seriously Krycek takes the job! I definitely feel like that moment meant a lot to him and he would have protected Scully with his life for Mulder.

There's also the fact that Krycek's unwillingness to kill Mulder lead to his own death.

Of course asking Skinner to shoot Mulder goes against this theory but I do have a couple thoughts on that, the most sensical being that he knew there was no chance Skinner would shoot Mulder and he probably knew there was no chance he would survive anymore. Maybe he made that request in hopes of sparing Mulder any pain he might have otherwise felt at his death (I know it's a bit of a stretch but my other theories require a long explanation of my thoughts on where the series had planned to go next)

The lone gunmen: no one knows....not even them

Three (I don't count Jimmy for this) single adult men who all live together in very cramped quarters and are, at least in Langley's case, perfectly happy to be around each other without thier clothes on certainly makes it seem like there's something between them all but I really don't get a overtly gay impression with any of them, even Langley who as mentioned doesn't like to wear pants and is the only one who hasn't had a love interest. They just have this sort of Vegas-esque thing. "What happens in the bachelor pad/newspaper room stays in the bachelor pad/newspaper room.

I would love to hear other people's thoughts on these and any other X-files characters you think might be somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum.

[queermediastudies]

“Orphan” of the Beautiful World- Brandon

The movie I choose to review for this assignment is Boys Don’t Cry (1999). It is a Hollywood hit as well as an outstanding queer film. This film tells about a tragic love story about transgender. The protagonist Brandon is a transman. At the beginning of movie, he shaved his hair and pretended to be a male to a date with a girl meet in the skating rink. But when the girl's family found out his female identity, they went to Brandon’s house to beat him and insult him. But Brandon didn't flinch. He came to Falls city, met Tom and John, and fell in love with Lana who was singing in the bar. But a driving accident exposed Brandon's female identity, his name Teena was published in the newspaper, and he was also kept in a woman’s prison. Lana’s friends enter Brandon's room and discover some transgender literature. Tom and John violently remove Brandon's pants and reveal his genitals, then even raped him. When Brandon reported the case, the police only cared about his “sexual identity crisis”. In the end, Brandon was shoot and killed by John, just leaving a letter to Lana. The director rendered the atmosphere of tragedy through many cold-toned scenes, and also showed the struggle of transgender in 1990s with dramatic shooting techniques.

It was an unsuccessful transgender performance, and Brandon was a victim of the rules of the world. The four key themes presented in Boys Don’t Cry are identity, sex and gender, masculinity, and transgender culture. These themes bring the audience into the real world of transgender people through dialogue, character's behavior, and plot setting.

This film looks at transgender identity in a unique way. Transgender is meant that one could live in a social gender not typically associated with one’s biological sex or that a single individual should be able to combine elements of different gender styles and presentations (Stryker&Currah, 2014, p5). In the Boy Don't Cry, it illustrates Brandon's queer identity through his gender performance. Gender performativity mainly talk about gender is not something we are but something we continually do through extended repetition (Butler, 1990). In the film, Brandon performs his gender by drinking, fighting with others, using fake male genitalia, shouting "Again!" when the truck threw it to the ground. Instead of enjoying being thrown to the ground by a truck, I think what he enjoys is being seen as a man. In Brandon's view, his way of identifying with his male identity is to imitate the clothes and behavior of most white men in America society. Brandon's recognition of his identity is “sexual identity crisis”. He thinks his identity is male, he just stored in a female's body. In fact, being born male or female does not determine behavior. Gender performance has nothing to do with male and female self-identity. Therefore, Brandon does not need to change his physical structure and behavior habits.  

Apart from Brandon, people around him are constantly confusing the relationship between sex and gender. "Sex" is usually used to refer to biological differences and "gender" to differences that have grown out of sociocultural background. But the biological differences are magnified and reinforced through social processes (Krüger, 1994, p217). Brandon was called a "pervert" by the people around him. They hit him and kept all the girls away from him. Brandon's cousin yelled at him, "You are not a boy! That what went wrong! You are not a boy!". After Brandon told his cousin he wanted to marry Lana, his cousin said, "when are you going to tell her that you are a girl, before or after your sex change operation?". In this film, people constantly emphasize and forcibly "inform" Brandon his female sex through extreme language and violence behaviors. They tried to cover up gender by exaggerate sex.

In addition, the film perpetuates people's stereotype of masculinity, also some sexism and racism. In Boys Don’t Cry, the main male characters are John and Tom, both are violent white people. They drag Brandon into John's car and drive to an isolated location, where they brutally beat, and gang rape him. Compared with "homophobia", I prefer to understand it as they think their male status has been challenged. They tried to tell Brandon in a rough way that what is a "real man" - A powerful and muscular man with penis. A core principal of heteronormativity—that the “penis alone signifies maleness”—corresponds specifically to a tendency among gender scholars to limit their discussions of masculinity solely to men (Cooper, 2002, p. 48). In the patriarchal society at that time, "real men" dominated, while the other female who pretended to be male should be punished. While society strengthens heterosexuality, it also strengthens sexism. The more people strengthen the love between male and female, the more they strengthen the view that men should be strong, and women should be gentle. What is more, racism is also noteworthy although it doesn't directly appear in this film. I noticed most actors are white. But in reality, there are many transgender people of color have also been treated unfairly. In C. Riley Snorton, which illustrates how the erasure of Phillip DeVine, a black man and amputee who was also killed by Teena’s murderers, from the “Brandon archive” and larger public memory raises questions about the circulation of anti-blackness and able-bodiedness in regard to which LGBT subjects become digestible and legible for mass-mediated consumption and which ones do not (Fischer, 2018, p.99). As a nonwhite people, I hope the film should contain more racial diversity. Because it can also reflect intersection. For example, the racism Black women experience cannot be separated from the sexism and classism they are often subject to as well (Fischer, 2018, p.99). More ethnic and gender diversity can make the audience understand transgender from multiple aspects.

This Queer Film breaks some mainstream ideologies held by the public. For example, some plots in the film show the difference between transgender’s love and homosexuality.

Generally, “queer” is known as a term referring to the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered) people. In Boys Don’t Cry, there is openly queer content, as the protagonist Brandon is a queer person, who refused to identify with his genetic gender. I would like to take “queer” both as a kind of people and a way of thinking, which is “against the normal, rather than the homosexual” (Warner, 1993, p. xxvi). When Lana saw Brandon's corset, she realized Brandon's female identity, but she chose silence. Because Lana knows that she loves Brandon, no matter he is male or female. When others suspect Brandon's identity, Lana told him "I know you are a guy." Lana chose to love Brandon as a man. And Brandon also regards himself as a man's identity to love Lana. At the beginning of the film, Brandon was called by “faggotry”, “dyke”. But in the love between Lana and Brandon denies the homosexual relationship.

My identity as a cisgender heterosexual Asian woman allows me to enjoy and heart-breaking when watching this film. My identity is determined by the overall environment of China. Live in a country without transgender surgery and legal gay marriage, I worshipped LGBTQ group people in the United States before. I always think America is a place where people could pursue their love freely. But when I saw the movie, I realized the impact of the social system on transgender people in the past. They were marginalized, suppressed and even lost their lives. But over the years, they still used their own strength to against the prejudge and stereotype, which made me admire and respect LGBTQ group people more now. Through Boys Don't Cry, I felt Brandon's loneliness and helplessness, which may be experienced by many LGBTQ people. It also led me to think about although the group seems larger, more and more people join, although they can legally obtain their legitimate rights in many ways, most of them are just scattered among ordinary people in the world.  Maybe at some time, in some place, LGBTQ is only one person.

I also ponder the reason why the film was named "Boys Don't Cry", Brandon cried many times. My understanding is that in such a social context, crying can't solve anything: discrimination, misunderstanding, and violence. It also makes me think that in America, a country that claims to be free and democratic, a person was shot just because he was different from most people. The film raises a question: What is normal and what is queer？

Boys Don't Cry makes me understand that some people are always not loved by others when they live, and even suffered physical and psychological injuries. They did not do anything wrong. They just live in their own way. They are orphans of this beautiful world - they are real, but the world really ends these beautiful lives with all kinds of accidents. However, they used to live in a beautiful life, maybe that's enough.

Reference:

Stryker, S., & Currah, P. (2014). Introduction. TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly, 1 (1–2), 1–18.

Butler, J. (1990). Gender trouble. routledge.

Krüger, M. L. (2008). School leadership, sex and gender: Welcome to difference. International journal of leadership in education, 11(2), 155-168.

Cooper, B. (2002). Boys Don't Cry and female masculinity: Reclaiming a life & dismantling the politics of normative heterosexuality. Critical Studies in Media Communication, 19(1), 44-63.

Fischer, M. (2018). Queer and feminist approaches to transgender media studies. In Feminist approaches to media theory and research (pp. 93-107). Palgrave Macmillan, Cham.

Berlant, L., & Warner, M. (1995). Guest column: What does queer theory teach us about X?. PMLA/Publications of the Modern Language Association of America, 110(3), 343-349.

[anethara]

and on that note I just want to vent a little bit about my own experience. a few years ago, I was outed at my place of work.

I was petrified. I worked the overnight freight crew with about 40 other men - all of them cis, all of them straight. I was a team lead, and when duty called, I was often pulled to lead these hefty cis, straight guys. I needed them to respect me. I needed to know they wouldn't murder me in the parking lot on a smoke break.

but then something interesting happened. the guys...didn't really care. a few of them tentatively asked me some questions after several days of radio silence. I was actually endeared by their gentle curiosity. they continued to respect me. they treated me no differently. if anything, I felt more welcome. it was like they maybe recognized that I'd had to do hard work to attain what they were just handed by an accident of birth.

but women despised me. the morning shift would come in (my shift often straddled the shift change) and women who had previously been friendly and warm glared wordlessly at me. they would not speak to me unless they had to. the only women who still treated me with kindness and dignity were the ones I'd hired and a spare few in a neighboring department. it was fine to be a man, I suppose - but to have chosen to be a man, as they saw it, was a betrayal. that job became miserable for me. these women, when they felt they could deign to speak to me again, approached me without a 'hello' and demanded to know if my wife was gay; if I'd had surgery; why was my voice so deep. "But you just look like a man!" a real man, you mean. a cis man. and this is surprising because I don't look like Hilary Swank playing at being Brandon Teena.

so yeah, every time I see this T*RFY shit on tiktok, on twitter, every time I remember the echo of friends from ten years ago, telling me I was a traitor for even considering that I could be a trans man, I remember that loving being a man is an uphill battle. I have to constantly remind myself that who I am is a complex composite of affections and preferences and emotional depth and tragedies and triumphs - not just a gender marker on my ID. my maleness does not oppress anyone; the structural framework of a patriarchal society does the oppressing, and men are not exempt from that oppression.