#tell me where i went wrong where i lost my way tell me the fateful day i forfeited my undeserved claim to your heart

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

Had a MASSIVE crush on you for years, still think of you fondly. Love the MASHposting

This is such a nice and sweet ask and I'm so incredibly grateful that you generously took time out of your day to be so kind. It means a lot and just from this small interaction I know you must be a very warm, caring person. Truly, humbly, thank you so much. <3

but also real quick no jokes if u have a moment if its not too much trouble or too intrusive a question could u tell me real quick why did u stop having a crush on me please tell me what happened did you find someone else did I do something wrong why didn't you tELL ME PLEASE WAIT COME BACK PLEASE WHAT DID I DO I CAN FIX IT I PROMISE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPSLEALSEPLEAESSEEEEEE

[orikiys]

✿ ✿ falling out of love with skz ( first pov version )

✰ pairings: ot8!skz x fem!reader

✰ genre: angst, romance, heartbreak

✰ warnings: heartbreak, guilt, falling out of love, sad, unedited ( i wrote this before i go to sleep ), based on real life events.

✰ word count: 1.8k + words

౨₊ৎ chan

falling out of love, but why is it? is it because i don’t read your texts no longer? or is it because that the mere sight of you no longer has been jumping on my feet? like that heart that used to skip a beat, tell me baby, did we not love each other? you were the muse to each of my poetries, you were the lover but i’m still disheartened by the fact that i couldn’t be. i made it out. i removed you from my life, to those little gifts you gave from your clothes that i had— all of them. and maybe, just maybe a part of me did get removed as well. snatched away and lost in the process. but i don’t need your help in getting it back. because i know that if i do, history would repeat itself. i would fall for you over and over. but… you wouldn’t. it’s been a hard month to try not to look at your socials, to see if you’re just as miserable as me or not. it’s been hard to try not to unblock you and keep re-reading our texts all day long. it’s been hard to not think of you. because my love i hate the fact that i still want you after all that happened, but you don’t. but i can’t love you like this, not anymore. i keep picking myself apart and framing together the left fragments of us. but there’s no us anymore, is there? i don’t want to pretend any longer. i missed you. i loved you. but i keep forgetting the fact that maybe i no longer do. or maybe i’m just getting better at pretending? all i do know is, i don’t think i know how to love you anymore.

౨₊ৎ minho

i may have forgotten the reason, but i loved you once. i truly did with all of my heart. falling in love was hard. it felt restricted, constrained and suffocating. but falling out of love? that was even harder. with each sun rise, i feel myself drifting apart from you. it’s like i don’t even know you anymore! i wish i could go back to the time where i asked you about your favourite colours or maybe your favourite movies or your favourite songs, but i can’t. we are no longer lovers. nor are we friends. we are strangers with memories. strangers who once crossed paths. we walk past each other and it’s like i don’t even know you, like i’ve never met you. i’ve seen our pictures on my phone and i question what went wrong? but maybe we were just habits and we thought we’d always have it? guess not. it’s the way i know you’re no longer around, but everything reminds me of you. is it the scent of your lingering perfume on the pillow covers? or maybe it’s your half-empty coffee mix? if promises were meant to be broken, i accomplished them. i am sorry for all the late nights that i whispered to you telling you that i’ll always love you. i’m sorry for all the times i couldn’t be there when you wanted me to. i’m sorry for all the times that i failed to understand you when you were just trying to protect me. i’m sorry for learning how to unlove you. i’m sorry min. i truly am.

౨₊ৎ changbin

remember when you said that we have forever? then why does it feel like our time’s already over? it started not so long ago, then why? was it written in fate already? or did we make it happen? i remember the time we held hands and shared umbrellas. i remember the time where we’d talk for hours. i remember the time when you first kissed me, then why am i still waiting for a proper goodbye? i wish you would break me at once, so i wouldn’t have to feel guilty for loving you a little lesser everyday. i wish you weren’t so perfect that i didn’t have to find excuses to avoid you. i wish you would snap my heart in half, crumble to pieces and throw away the broken fragments, so i don’t have to feel like i’m in the wrong. for once, just let me escape the reality. for once, please don’t love me. for once, please forget me. for once, let me go. for once and for all, forgive me for not trying to love you harder. i don’t know where it all went wrong. i wish i could turn back the time and erase myself from your memories, so you won’t even think of me or the pain that i caused you. i may be the villain of your story, but i too was once the protagonist.

౨₊ৎ hyunjin

i wonder if you ever noticed when i stopped telling you my secrets. i wonder if you ever noticed that i stopped bringing home your favourite packet of chips. i wonder if you noticed that i began tensing up whenever you hugged me. i wonder if you ever even noticed the way my soul began detangling from you. and when you tucked my hair behind my ear, it didn’t leave a trail of fire like it did before. my body— it stopped reacting to you the way it did before. and i wonder, why you never said anything. because you noticed it. you noticed every single thing yet you stayed quiet right by my side. it’s the way i began hating you for making me feel guilty. but it always did feel better to blame others, didn’t it? would you mind if i sat next to you but didn’t smile? would you mind if i ask you what you liked once again? because i didn’t want it to end. you were the most beautiful dream that i ever experienced, yet now i can’t even recognise the beat of your heart. i realized that i fell out of love when i could no longer guess what you wanted. or maybe that time when i couldn’t bring myself to even kiss you. baby, where did it go? help me. help me get it back. falling out of love with you is a nightmare and i wish i could wake up.

౨₊ৎ han

i had all that i wanted, and then none. from the perfect life, to a fallen apart one. nothing stays for too long. and i wish i let go of everything a bit sooner. so it would hurt me less whenever i see you. it would hurt me less whenever i hear someone mention you. your letters, they still rest in my drawers. your rings, they still fit on me. except they feel too cold. i no longer wear them for an entire day without feeling the urge to throw it. but i don’t want that to happen, so instead i keep it locked away in a box. but the key, it’s with you. so i can’t bring myself to open it. many people told me that i have changed. but i truly wonder, have i? or is it just the fact they can’t fathom that i no longer love you like i did before? it may be my fault for it all, i’m the one to blame. but i tried my best to stop myself, to stop these unwanted feelings and in the end i broke your heart. i still remember that look on your face when you held me tight for one last time. goodbyes weren’t the best, but i wish it was. so i didn’t have to live everyday thinking that i killed your spark from the inside.

౨₊ৎ felix

i wish i could go back to the time where i didn’t have to think thrice before waking you when you couldn’t sleep. i hoped that i could’ve told it all to you sooner, but how could i have predicted that unfortunate ending? loving you was beautiful, delicate and everlasting. until it wasn’t. falling out of love was harsh but slow. the flowers have begun withering, i noticed. do you not water them? or is it because they remind you of me? i know what you’re trying to do. i’ve tried it as well. but it didn’t work. i tried erasing you and everything related to you. but at the end of the day it’s the way my phone’s lock screen still has your face. your number, it’s untouched. and perhaps if someone were to ask me about my favourite movie, without hesitation i would reply with the texts we sent, the little date vlogs we made. call it guilt or call it lost love. the time spent with you gave me happiness, and i called that love.

౨₊ৎ seungmin

i knew you were hurting. so maybe i should’ve applied bandages to your aching heart. i knew you were hurting when i began replacing our memories. was there something that i could’ve done to make your heart heal faster? but i knew it couldn’t replace the pain i’ve caused you. i used to tell the moon about you, now the stars await to hear my stories. i used to have that stupid grin on my face whenever you called me, now we stopped meeting. and it kills me to know how you’ve been living all this long after knowing that the one who you loved broke your heart. it hurts me too when you agree to everything and anything i say. is that how much you love me? that you’re even willing to be vulnerable in front of me? if given another chance i would fall in love with you over and again till i can’t escape it. i want to trapped, engulfed in your love just like you are in mine.

౨₊ৎ jeongin

my heart breaks at all the possibilities we could have been. it breaks even more every time i remember you wanting to start a family with me in future. i ended it all at once, didn’t i? i wonder how i could be lifeless that now a single tear falls while you cry for me. i wonder how i could be so lifeless that i forgot you’re my other half. i want to experience that spark of sleeping and waking to your texts once more. i want to experience being called ‘my princess’ for the rest of life. but it’s the way that we don’t even talk. we blocked each other from our lives, it was for the good. then why am i having sleepless nights filled with remorse? is this the part of moving on? or is it the part of moving back? because my ship seems to be sailing in the wrong direction. so my love, don’t pray for me anymore. the moon won’t listen.

[newtthetranswriter]

Delayed Mark

Word count: 5539

Paring: Choso x Gn! Reader

Summary: In a world with soulmates you were the only one born without a mark. After 25 years thinking you will never have a soulmate, your mark randomly appears. Only a few weeks later you find your soulmate during one of the worst curse attacks Jujutsu Sorcerers have seen since the Night parade of a hundred Demons.

Warnings: Spoilers for Choso’s character and history in general, slight spoilers for Kenjaku, Mentions of blood and death, if i missed anything let me know.

A/n: Hello people this has been in the works for a long time but finally got inspiration to finish it. The end might seem a bit rushed but I wanted to finally post it. So you aren’t surprised one satosugu is canon, Shoko x Haibara is real and you can fight me on it. Anyway I hope you enjoy and Remember to Hydrate or Diedrate, I’m looking at you @ness-iness . Also requests are open. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

    I had to be the least lucky person alive. In a world where everyone has a mark on their body to tell them who their soulmate is, I was born without one. It's extremely rare for something like this to happen. No one knows why or how it happened. But when I was born it was evident that I was unmarked, destined to spend forever alone.

When I was younger it wasn't that bad because I didn't fully understand what it meant. Then when I reached middle school and all my friends started meeting their soulmates, I felt left out. My parents tried to tell me that 'maybe it will show up later' or that 'there is someone out there for you even if you don't have a mark.' They even went as far as to say I didn't need a soulmate to be happy. I wanted to believe them but in our world it can be hard, with happy soulmates everywhere you look.

    It became even more apparent when I entered highschool and transferred to Jujutsu Tech. Though the number of people around was small, it was clear that everyone had a soulmate. It felt like fate was rubbing it in my face that I was to be forever alone. And I accepted that I didn't need a soulmate to be happy. Even though I had accepted it, there were still people trying to tell me that having a soulmate was the best thing. I was growing tired of it, until I got to know two fellow sorcerers who had lost their soulmates and believed that even without them they can find a way to be happy.

    There's Saturo Gojo, a special grade sorcerer who's soulmate turned his back on sorcerers and set out to wipe out all non-sorcerers. During an attack on Tokyo and Kyoto, his soulmate was killed trying to attack the first years at Jujutsu Tech. Gojo viewed soulmates as pointless because even though he had one and lost him he was still able to be happy with his life. 

    Then there's Shoko, she was a third year at Jujutsu Tech when her soulmate was killed on a mission he was sent on. It hurt her greatly when she couldn't save him, especially because she is known for using reverse curse technique. She thought while soulmates could be an amazing thing, it was also painful when you lost them and thought maybe things would be better without them.

    Don't get me wrong, Gojo and Shoko both loved their soulmates and wouldn't change having met them. They just thought it could be more painful than what it's worth. I agree, having a soulmate must be wonderful but I don't have one so all I've experienced is the pain of watching others be happy with something I can't have. And so Me, Gojo, and Shoko all tried to make the best of everything. We focused on exercising curses and teaching the next generations of Jujutsu Sorcerers.

    I'm like an assistant teacher to Gojo, helping out the first years when he's out on missions and just helping with training in general. I would also sometimes help the second years if they needed it. 

    Right now I am accompanying the first years on a mission to investigate strange deaths. Three people were found dead just inside their homes or apartment buildings, after having reported odd happenings with the locks or door mechanisms. This fact led the higher ups to believe that it was the work of a cursed spirit and sent the first years to figure it out. I was there to make sure none of them died, instructions from Gojo after what happened with the curse womb at the juvenile detention center.

    We were currently at Megumi's old middle school, talking with faculty about the men who had died, as they had also attended the school in their youth. I wasn't really focused on the conversation as I was there as more of a body guard then an actual assistant for the first years. I felt it best to let them take care of the questions and figure everything out so they could learn for future experiences.

    While Kugisaki and Itadori were poking fun at Megumi for how he used to act in middle school, I started to feel a weird tingling sensation on my left wrist. It was strange, almost like pins and needles. I tried rubbing my wrist to get the feeling to go away but it wasn't working, when I looked at it there was nothing there. 

    After a few minutes of the weird feeling it went away. I was confused as nothing like this had ever happened before. But seeing as there was no evidence that it happened I brushed it off, if it was important there would be evidence that it happened.

    The three students had found out that all of the victims had gone to the same bridge together back when they were in middle school. So they decided to go try and investigate, to see if they could lure out the cursed spirit.

    I had joined them at the bridge as I didn't want to risk the curse showing up without me there. As the three tried different things like walking under the bridge, and even throwing Itadori over the side tied to a string (this nearly gave me a heart attack), to lure out the curse, I stood watch. I was completely focused on watching Kugisaki and Megumi pulling Itadori up, so it startled me that my wrist started to feel weird again.

    At first it was just pins and needles like before, but then it started to burn a little bit. I lifted my wrist to investigate and was shocked to see a small picture forming on the inside of my wrist. It looked like a drop of water based on the outline. I watched as it became more visible, slowly turning to a blood red color. I was extremely perplexed, what the hell is happening, I thought to myself. I was so focused on the mark that I didn't notice the three teenagers walking up to me.

    "Hey Y/n, nothing's happening. Maybe there's another connection or we missed something." Itadori said nearly bouncing over to me. As he got closer he noticed I wasn't paying attention to him. "What are you looking at? Get a scratch or something?" He asked, drawing the attention of the other two.

    Megumi leaned over to take a look at my wrist, also confused as to what had me so distracted. "Holy shit" I heard him mutter as he came to the same conclusion that I was still trying to wrap my head around. "When did that show up?" He asked, confusing his classmates.

    "I-it just showed up. I was just standing here watching you three to make sure nothing happened and my wrist started to tingle and then burn. After that it just slowly appeared." I explained what little I knew about the situation. "Why would this show up now, I've gone my whole life without it being there why is it here now. I was fine and happy without having to worry about it." I started ranting.

    Kegusaki looked at me confused before finally asking the question that perplexed her and Itadori. "What are you talking about and why does Fushiguro know about it?" 

    Knowing I was probably feeling too many emotions to explain anything, Megumi spoke up. "It's complicated and right here probably isn't the best place to explain it." We then met up with our diver at a small convenience store. I had almost completely shut down from the sudden appearance of my soul mark.

    While we were at the convenience store the first years were still trying to figure out what to do to trigger the curse. After a few minutes of getting nowhere Kugesaki got tired of the topic of conversation.

    "We are getting nowhere with this. Let's change the topic for a second." The redhead said, turning to me. "What's up with you? What happened while we were on the bridge?" She was confused yet curious as to what happened. Sure she was being a little pushy about it but that's how she is.

    Megumi moved in front of me to try and deflect the questions, and get back to the assignment. "Let's focus on the curse that's killing people, Kugesaki." As he said this Kugesaki rolled her eyes.

    "Come on Fushiguro, they're here to supervise and make sure none of us die. If their so thrown off by what ever happened, we all need to be made aware." She said making a valid point.

    As Megumi tried to say something else I put my hand on his shoulder and stepped forward. He looked at me concerned but he knew that I wouldn't say anything I didn't want to. "What happened on the bridge that threw me off is, my soul mark appeared. I've lived 25 years without one and was fully prepared to live without it. I don't know what caused it to suddenly appear because if I had a soulmate it would have been there when I was born. I'm still able to watch over you guys, it just startled me." I explained hopefully calming their nerves. "I'm not worried about it, it's probably nothing. Let's just focus on figuring out what's going on with this cursed spirit." Itadori nodded but still looked confused and Kugesaki looked pleased with the explanation.

    As I finished explaining what happened, one of the students from the middle school pulled up on a bike with a young woman asking to talk to Megumi about the weird deaths. The young woman explained that there was a sort of ritual to go out to the bridge. She had also informed Megumi that his sister had done the test of courage as well. Being even more determined to stop this curse, with his sister’s life at stake, we all headed back to the bridge.

    After doing the steps to summon the curse, it seemed we had entered the curse’s domain. As the students began to fight the curse a strange green round curse appeared behind us. When the initial confusion wore off, Itadori offered to take the hideous curse on by himself while the other two delta with bridges curse.

    While the two fights occurred Kugisaki was forced close to the edge of the barrier. I watched in shock as two hands reached through and pulled her out of the barrier. The green curse exclaimed something about his brother being there and rushed out of the barrier. Megumi took charge of the situation and ordered Itadori to go after the curse and assist Kugisaki. I would have stepped in but I had an odd feeling about the curses outside of the barrier. Like in some distant way they weren’t normal curses. I couldn’t react. 

    I was only able to watch as Megumi was able to finish off the cursed spirit that was cursing people. The only problem was the barrier didn’t dissipate. As I was about to ask if he was sure he finished exercising the curse, a more humanoid curse fell from the ceiling. Taking a defensive stance ready to take on the curse, as it appeared to be a much higher grade than the previous curse. Megumi stepped in front of me.

    “I’ll handle this, You were only sent here to keep us from dying. You just wait, if it looks like I’m done, go ahead and step in. It’s not a good idea for you to be using your cursed energy for battle right now.” He said summoning Demon Dog: Totality to help him in the fight. He made a good point, my cursed technique was better for defense and recovery. I could create a simple barrier around myself or someone else that was similar to Gojo’s infinity, but could still be broken with enough force. I am also able to use the reversed curse technique on others, not as efficiently as Shoko but still enough to keep someone on death's door from dying while waiting for Shoko. It made sense for me to wait, my techniques took a lot of energy, and the few offensive abilities I had were not suited for close combat. So I watched waiting for a moment that I would be needed.

    The fight between the special grade and Megumi went on for a while. There were a few points where I almost jumped into the fight but was stopped by the admittedly over confident teenager. Eventually he was able to exercise the curse and retrieve Sukana’s finger. He collapsed shortly after as the barrier disappeared around us. I immediately went to work healing his more major injuries, as he eventually passed out on the ground.

    A few minutes after the dark haired teen passed out the other two students hobbled on to the scene. “Oh my god, is he dead?” Itadori asked, looking at his friend passed out on the ground. This comment received a smack to the back of his head from Kugisaki as she quickly explained he was probably passed out and that I wouldn’t have let him die. He then noticed the cursed object sitting on the ground not far from Megumi and went to pick it up. “Do you want me to carry this since you’re busy healing Fushiguro?” He asked. As I was about to tell him he could as long as he didn’t eat it, a mouth formed on the palm of his hand consuming the finger. 

    I rolled my eyes as he started to defend himself, trying to explain it was Sukana who did that and he didn’t mean too. “It’s fine, Itadori. Next time I’ll just carry it. Now help me get Megumi up and back to the road.” I said moving to stand up, deciding it was time we head back to Jujutsu tech.

    It’s been about a month since the incident at the bridge, and since the mark on my arm appeared. For the most part I’ve ignored it, but when I see it I struggle not to spiral into a long train of questions as to why it randomly appeared, and what triggered it. Shoko proposed that it may have something to do with the two cursed wombs Itadori and Kugisaki killed. She suspected after performing autopsies on the corpses, that they were somehow two of the death paintings that were stolen during the sister school exchange event. She told me that it was possible that the third one was also fused with a human and incarnated into a living being, and it happened to be my soulmate. This thought concerned me, My soulmate was possibly a deformed human corpse fused with a cursed object, great. 

    Though it wasn’t any worse than the idea Saturo had. He had told me with a straight face that it took 25 years for my soulmark to appear because my soulmate hadn’t been born yet and they were probably a couple weeks old at this point. I know he was joking because one, many soulmate pairings had massive age gaps and the older party still had their mark at birth, and secondly because as soon as he saw the look of disgust on my face he burst out laughing his ass off. 

    I was glad that even though jokes were being made, Gojo and Shoko weren’t pushing me away for getting my soulmark. They treated me no differently, after all they had once had their own soulmates with them, even if it was far too short of a time for their liking. And don’t get me wrong I still have a distaste for the thought of soulmates, but for the first time in my life there is actual hope. Maybe it was just a mistake in the universe and whatever gave soulmarks was like shit missed one and fixed it, or maybe Shoko is right and my soulmate is an incarnated cursed object. Who knows but hopefully I find them soon and can experience the joy I’ve witnessed so many times over, even if it’s only for a short moment.

Timeskip to shibuya arc

    It’s been a few weeks since my soulmark appeared and I can’t help but feel anxious. Part of it is the excitement of finally having a soulmate but the other part is things have been getting worse in the Jujutsu community. With suspicion of a traitor at the kyoto school, the first years were requested to investigate. The problem with that was the suspected traitor was nowhere to be found and the trail went cold.

    Just over a week later all hell broke loose at a transit station in Shibuya. Many sorcerers were dispatched to wait as back up in case Gojo was unable to handle the citation. I had been waiting with Nanami, Ino and Megum when we were told to enter the barrier. Not long after entering, the shouts of Yuji Itadori could be heard throughout the veil.  Deciding a change of plans, we met with Itadori and were informed that Saturo had been sealed by the special grade curses that had organized the attack.

    While Nanami went to speak with Ijichi, the rest of us went to look for a way to dismantle the barriers. Currently Megumi and Itadori are fighting the curse user who had the objects creating the barrier, and me and Ino are trying to fight the other two on top of the building. We were given a shock when the man Ino was battling turned into Toji Fushiguro, gaining all the power of the dead sorcerer killer. When we thought things couldn’t get worse Ino was taken out and thrown off the side of the building, knowing I didn’t stand a chance in a fight against Toji I jumped hoping Megumi or Itadori would think of a way to save both of us.

    My prediction was right as one of Megumi’s shikigami caught me and Itadori managed to catch the unconscious Ino. When we landed, the boys told me that the barrier keeping sorcerers out was dismantled. Assessing the situation I came up with a plan that should help us greatly.

    “Ok here’s what’s gonna happen. Megumi and I are going to stay here while I heal Ino enough that he can be moved safely. Itadori you are gonna go try and find wherever Gojo is sealed in Shibuya station. Once I’m sure Ino is safe to move, I’ll follow after itadori to help him out, and Megumi will take Ino to Shoko so she can finish healing him.” I said, causing both boys to look at me in shock. It was a rarity that I would take charge of a situation but there was no time to freeze up right now. Becoming focused on the task of healing my coworker I ignored the boys trusting they will follow instructions.

     After about ten minutes I was confident that Ino would be fine to move, so I sent Megumi off to find Shoko while I went after Itadori. On my way to the station I passed Inumaki using his speech to help control the crowds and protect them from the mutated humans. I stopped for a few minutes to offer help in restoring his throat so it wasn’t too damaged from his technique and then went back to going after Itadori.

     A few minutes after entering the train station, I started to hear the sound of running water. I also noticed that the area I was in was completely destroyed, thinking the two things may be connected to Itadori. I followed the sound and path of destruction. As I got closer to the bathroom I noticed a large amount of water on the floor that was tinted pink from what I’m guessing is someone’s blood. Turning towards the men’s restroom I saw a familiar head of pink hair slumped against the wall.

     “Shit, Itadori are you alright?” I received no response. I kneeled down not caring that my pants would become soaking wet, I checked his pulse with a sigh of relief that he was still alive. Assessing the damage I knew that I would have to get the bleeding in his abdomen to stop or at least slow down a bit, before I could go after the fuck who hurt my student. I began using my reversed curse technique on the boy, focused on hopefully healing him enough that Sukana doesn't see a need to make an appearance.

     As I finished healing what I could, I noticed a strange feeling in my gut. It was almost like I was anxious or scared of something. It made no sense, sure I was worried for my friends and students, and the safety of all the non sorcerer's around during this horrible attack, but this feeling was weird. The feeling was almost like it was coming from someone else. Brushing it off, not having time to deal with this, I moved to follow the wet bloody footprints leading away from the bathrooms, assuming they belonged to whoever or whatever did this to Itadori.

    Rounding the corner as the footprints became harder to follow, the feeling in my gut got worse and an emotion I could only describe as self loathing joined the anxiety and worry. I was even more confused, I had heard before that when close to your soulmate there is a chance to feel their emotions but why on earth would my soulmate be in a place like this hating themself. Once again hoping it was just my imagination I continued my search. I stopped for a second as I started to hear mumbling coming from a little alcove just in front of me along the wall.

     “I almost killed him.” I heard the voice say. I could tell whoever it was, was distressed. “How could I almost kill my own brother?” The voice kept ranting, now I was concerned, this person almost killed their own brother and was now sitting in the deepest reaches of a train station overrun with curses and mutated humans, what was wrong with them.

     I approached the alcove with caution, if this person nearly killed someone they could be extremely dangerous. “Hey, sorry to bother you, but are you Ok?” I asked as I got close enough to see a man, probably in his early to mid twenties curled up on himself. He had medium length hair pulled up in two messy buns at the back of his head, he was also wearing a white robe with a purple vest. I couldn’t quite make out his face as it was buried in his knees but as I got closer to him I could feel the copious amounts of cursed energy flowing off him. It wasn’t as intense as Gojo or Okkotsu, but he was definitely special grade.

     After a few seconds, he jumped slightly looking up at me for only a moment before going back to his rambling. It’s like he didn’t even register that I asked a question. When he looked at me I could see the long black line across his face, to some it may have been an odd feature but to me it made him look more handsome. It may be weird to say but looking at this person curled in on himself with messy hair mumbling about almost killing someone, I couldn’t help but notice he was attractive. It also didn’t help that the longer I kneeled in front of him the more I felt emotions of anxiety and doubt.

      I tried speaking to him again. “Are you ok? Is there anything I can do to help?” The anxious feelings were becoming almost too much for me to handle. If they were coming from this man infront of me I needed to calm him down soon or we would both be having a breakdown. “Just talk to me for a second, I want to make sure you’re not hurt.” That comment seemed to reach him as he stopped mumbling, looking at me and making eye contact.

      He stayed frozen looking at me with those beautiful hazel eyes, it was like he was in a trance. I was about to speak again when I decided that a good way to calm him down if I really was feeling his emotions would be doing the opposite, projecting my emotions to my soulmate. If he is the reason behind the blood drop mark on my wrist, sending positive feelings should help him relax. To my surprise as soon as I started to calm myself to a relaxed point, I could see his face settle, he no longer looked like a kicked puppy but more a confused child.

      “What did you do to me?” Was the first not mumbled sentence out of his mouth. I looked at him for a moment trying to decide how to explain what I had just figured out. 

      I settled for smiling at him before explaining gently what just happened between us. “We are soulmates, two people destined to be together. We both have a mark to represent each other somewhere on our body, like this” I showed him my wrist as I explained it all. He looked at the blood drop for a second before he moved his arm to show me his wrist. In the exact same spot was a sphere that looked fairly similar to the barriers I can create around myself.

      “So that’s what this weird mark is, Mahito tried to tell me it was nothing and to ignore it.” He spoke explaining his knowledge of the mark. I was unsure of who this Mahito was but it seemed whoever it was, was trying to hide soulmates from him. I was slightly confused how a man in his twenties didn’t know about soulmates, but that was a question for later.

      Smiling at him I continued my explanation. “In addition to the marks, when soulmates are close to each other they can feel each other's emotions and strong emotions can influence the other. That's what I did, your feelings of anxiety and doubt were becoming too strong for me to stay focused so I calmed down my own feelings enough to help calm you down.” He nodded at the explanation, looking to the side for a moment before looking back. I could tell he was still a little anxious, whether that was because of finding out about soulmate, or what happened before I found him. I was unsure but I was going to figure it out. “Now that you’ve calmed down a bit do you mind telling me what happened? Why are you hiding in this alcove?” I asked as gently as possible not wanting to send him into another panic attack.

      He paused for a second before he started to explain. “I almost killed my little brother. I didn’t know he was my brother when we started fighting but when I was about to deliver the final blow I just knew he was my brother. It was the same feeling I got when my other brothers were killed. I can’t kill my brother even if he was the one to kill our other brothers. I hurt my brother and I have to make up for that. I have to protect him.” He started rambling again, not in the mumbling manner I found him in but it was hard to follow what he was saying. “He almost died because of me, and now he’s probably bleeding out because I hurt him,  because I didn't realize who he was sooner.” That sentence caught my attention.

      I remembered what led me to this spot, to finding him. Placing my hand on his shoulder to get his attention. “Slow down for a second, who and where is your brother?” I asked hoping to not get the answer I assumed was coming.

      “Yuji Itadori is my little brother. He's in the men’s bathroom.” He answered the question and I could tell he was about to start rambling again. Squeezing his shoulder again I drew his focus back to me.

      Pushing away my concern for the fact my soulmate was working with the curse’s that organized the attack. “He’s okay, I was actually looking for him earlier and found him in the bathroom. I was able to use my reverse cursed technique to stop the bleeding and keep him from dying. But what did you mean by he’s your brother, he never talked about having any siblings? Also he killed your other brothers?” I tried to reassure that Itadori was okay, but also asked for clarification. As far as I knew Itadori’s only family was his grandfather who passed away shortly before he became a sorcerer.

      He looked at me shocked that I knew who he was talking about. “Thank you. And I don’t know how to explain how he’s my brother, I just know he is. I have such a strong connection with my brothers. I felt when Yuji and Nobara Kugisaki ended the lives of my brothers Eso and Kechizu a few weeks ago, and I felt that same feeling when I was about to kill Yuji for revenge.” He explained in the best way he could.

     I nodded in understanding, he attacked Itadori in order to get revenge for his brothers, who I’m assuming were the two curses Itadori and Nobara fought at the bridge. Thinking about it they did say that when they finished off the curses they didn’t disintegrate like a normal curse and were just bodies as if they had killed humans. If that thing was this person's brother then what are they and why does he look so normal. “I can tell you’re confused, I’m assuming you probably were there when Yuji fought my brothers and are wondering what I am.” He was right, but how could he read me so well? I just nodded at him to continue. He went on to explain that he was a cursed object for 150 years until the attack on Jujutsu tech when he and two of his brothers were stolen. He explained that Mahito the patch faced curse, used his technique to give them bodies and use them as tools to fight sorcerers. He briefly explained that they sided with the curses because his brothers wouldn’t have been accepted by humans for the way they looked and he would have rather not had to help the curse who created him.

     “What do you mean by helping the curse that created you? Didn’t you say you were a cursed object for 150 years, wouldn’t the curse who made you be exercised by now?” I asked, interrupting his explanation.

     “The curse that made me is called Kenjaku, he was once a normal human who used his innate technique to transfer his brain to others to control them. 150 years ago he took over Noritoshi Kamo, using him to experiment on my mother who was able to carry the child of a curse. He tried nine times to get a living specimen but only received nine cursed objects that received the name Death paintings, I was the first one.” He explained his creation. As he was about to continue and explain how he was supposed to be helping Kenjaku in this day and age there was loud rumbling around us.

     I stood up quickly pulling him from the alcove looking around. The building looked like it was shaking. “As much as I’d love to keep chatting, I think we should probably get out of here.” I turned to him before I started to pull him in the direction of the exit. 

     “Wait, we have to get Yuji, we can’t leave him down here.” I heard behind me.

     “Look if Yuji is still down here than Sukana has probably taken over and if that’s the case he'll be fine.” i tried to explain, but the look on his face showed he was still concerned. “Listen, I know you want to make it up to him but you can't do that if we get crushed by a collapsing train station. As soon as we get out of this we will go find him I promise. You can trust me, I'm your soulmate after all, I’ll support you through this…” I wanted to address him by name but I realized in all of his explanations he never once told me his name, then again I never told him mine so it wouldn’t have been a fair trade. Continuing to pull him out of the station I decide it’s better late than never. “By the way I’m Y/n Y/l/n, and what can I call my handsome soulmate?” I asked him, feeling him stumble at the compliment.

     “Uh Choso. My name is Choso Kamo.” He said as we exited the train station. Finally knowing my soulmate's name felt amazing for some reason. It was probably due to the years of thinking it would never happen but I knew that no matter what this crazy world throws at us next we will handle it together.

[schneiderenjoyer]

UTTU Catalogue's Categories

There's a lot about UTTU that still is unknown and they operate strangely. I've seen some conversations about it, but out of everything that's making me lose my mind is the Category Covers.

The implication of Categories creating a diverse subculture (and potentially subspecies) of arcanists within the arcane community aside, the covers literally tell us the very essence of the arcanists categorized within it are. All hidden by the fine print (seriously they're hiding the words and shrinking the letters and blending it into the colors on purpose, it's so hard to see)

The clearest one I can read full is for Arcanists; "The two-faced are among them. Born to Suffer." It's a strangely poetic way to describe how arcanists, in human society, are viewed to be ill fated people. Thus, they're born to suffer for their nature.

There's also Awakened; "Backdoor listing, welcome to the phenomenon world." Which is interesting since we know the arcanists listed in this category have a far more bizarre and even unknown way they're born and became arcanists. A form of "backdoor" approach to being born an arcanist. A Phenomenon, if you will.

The Beyond is a little hard to read near the end, but it states; "Under the surface, I know nothing but the fact of my ignorance." And who is in that category? Jessica. There's also words covered that make the word WHO and a cut off line that says "Cannot spe? spa?" Does it refer to the fact that Voyager doesn't speak?

The Mixed is even harder to really read for me, but I can make out is the half the phrase of "Where did the rationality go... -----" like it's questioning where they went wrong in the gene process to not be 'logical' enough for human society, but just 'irrational' enough to stand among arcanists yet not fully belong. A lovely commentary on mixed races.

Lastly, the reason I'm writing this whole thing, is for the Infected. Why? Well, one, we now have an official arcanist categorized to it, Ezra Theodore. (This has now been debunked and instead replaced with a far more infuriating revelation here.) And for the unofficial...

SLAMS TABLE

IT'S SCHNEIDER, YES, THIS IS ANOTHER OF MY LONG DELULU RANT ABOUT HOW WE GOT SCAMMED SO HARD DURING BETA AND LOST OUR CHANCE AT A PLAYABLE ITALIAN MAFIA GODDESS. I'M MAKING MY STANCE, BLUEPOCH PLEA--

Anyway.

The caption for this category is ominous, threatening even, being; "We know who you are and we will visit the visitors." And for those who don't know why this is important. This category pertains to one of the most fascinating cases.

Because it's for humans that can use arcanum.

Not that they have an arcane bloodline, no. They're pure blooded human that can use arcanum. And that spells a fucked up implication that could mean all sorts of things. One being human experimentation. And UTTU knows something and are making sure people in this category understood that even if they can use arcanum, they're not arcanists. Like many arcanists, they're keeping the line between humans and arcanists very clear. Even calling the category "Infected" like it's a virus, a plague. Something dirty that entered their veins.

UTTU is fascinating in this regard and I hope to see more about them in the future the more times they have these flash events and maybe even someday fully explored more in depth to its lore.

[corruptedcaps]

The Plan

Ok, so let's go over the plan. We will use this machine that you made to steal one of Britney's attributes, something like her manicured nails. This will hopefully make her less mean. I mean, have you seen how she acts? It's like she's always looking down on everyone. And her nails are always so perfect, like she thinks she's better than everyone else. Well, not anymore! Once we take away her manicured nails, maybe she'll realize that she's not so special after all. Plus, it'll be a little payback for all the times she's made fun of us. Just imagine her reaction when she sees her nails disappear! It's going to be priceless.

Oh my gosh, can you believe it? Britney is still just as mean! She went back to the nail salon and got her nails done again. Ugh! It's like she never learned her lesson. But hey, on the bright side, I received her stolen nails, and I must say, I love how they look on me. They make me feel powerful, like I have a piece of her confidence. Anyway, we can't stop here. We need to take something more permanent from her. How about her 20/20 vision? Imagine how lost she'll be without it. Let's make her see the world in a whole new way, or rather, a blurry way. It's time for revenge!

Oh, come on! This is ridiculous! Now Britney has become even more stylish because she has to wear glasses. And what's worse is that everyone wants to wear glasses just to mimic her! It's like she can turn anything into a fashion statement. But hey, ironically, I don't have to wear glasses because I received Britney's good eyesight. Talk about a twist of fate. Well, enough is enough. It's time to hit her where it hurts the most—her beauty. Let's start by taking away her precious tan. Without her golden glow, she won't be able to rely on her looks anymore. Revenge is sweeter than a suntan!

Finally, we're starting to see some results. Britney seems to be less confident and less mean. It's like a small crack in her queen bee facade, but hey, it's a start. Maybe taking away her attributes is actually working. As for me, I can't help but admire my new tan, courtesy of Britney. It's absolutely flawless! I mean, look at how radiant and sun-kissed my skin is. I almost feel bad for taking pleasure in it, but hey, she had it coming. Now let's keep going. We need to strip her of more of her beauty and watch her crumble. Revenge never felt so satisfying.

Hey, quick question. How does my new blonde hair look? Wait, don't even answer. I already know it looks absolutely gorgeous! I can't help but feel amazing with this luscious, golden mane. And guess what? Britney now has dull brown hair as a result. Talk about a style downgrade for her. It's just another blow to her once-perfect image. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she realizes what she's lost. But hey, enough about her. Let's keep going. We have more of her beauty to take away, and I'm loving every minute of it.

I have to say, I absolutely love my new boobs. Thanks, Britney! They make me feel so sexy and superior. But you know what's interesting? Despite all the physical downgrades we've inflicted upon her, Britney is still mean and cruel. It's like her personality is untouched by our efforts. Maybe we've been focusing on the wrong things. Perhaps it's time to go straight to the source and take away her mean, haughty attitude. That's what we should have done from the start. Let's strip her of that toxic demeanor and finally bring her down a peg or two.

You know what? I've had a revelation. I've absorbed Britney's delicious toxic personality, and guess what? I've become the new queen bee. And let me tell you, it feels incredible. I revel in the power, the control, the superiority. Change back? Why would I ever want to change back? You, my oldest and ugliest friend, suggesting such a thing, clearly are jealous. You want all this for yourself. Well too bad because I’ve destroyed the machine because I'm here to stay. You can either bow down or step aside, because I'm the new alpha now. Now I’m off to steal something the machine never could, Britney’s boyfriend. It’s good being the queen.

[wayfayrr]

I can't quite believe this was first in my drafts in feb and I've only gotten to actually writing it these last two weeks.

This fic was based off of five songs from spotify shuffling one of my playlists which was an idea inspired by @trulytiredhermit and then it kinda just went from there

the songs that I based it on were: To my enemies - Saint motel, stalker’s tango - Autoheart, meet me in the woods - Lord Huron, The red means I love you - Madds Buckley and Bitter water by the oh hellos

You know they say you're nobody until someone wants you dead, and I can't help but feel like it's morbidly accurate for everything that's happened to me recently.

That weird shadow brought me here for whatever, most likely because it wants my head for some reason. and then all of a sudden?

I'm one of the most important people to the heroes of Hyrule, brought here by fate for whatever reason and they all love me… although love might not be the best way to describe it. If you were to ask any of them they'd say "It feels so wrong it's right" Heh how ridiculous to be that obsessed, so I ran as far as I could, lost in a world that isn't my own and one that shouldn’t exist out of fiction. Those boys that I once cared for; who promised me they'd find me someway home, but talk is cheap after all and it's oh so effortless to lie when it brings you so many benefits.

The situation was so incredibly strange, I don't think there's any amount of time where I could've gotten used to it despite what they would say. it started, well I can't say normally as nothing about this is normal, but it started well. they were themselves, they were still sane. but then they started to slip letting me out of their sight, less and less and less until it was like I had to be in at least one of their line of sight at all times, they wouldn't let me talk about my home, wouldn't let me focus on things that weren't them always trying to justify it whether it was to me or themselves I could never tell. Perhaps it was both?

This little journey I’ve taken into the unknown?

Oh, I’ll go back changed, I wonder if those I cared about would even recognise me at this point. How long have I been away at this point, it feels like ages yet my phone says it’s only days. Well in the games back home the games always ran on a much faster time scale, it wouldn’t be impossible that I’m still running off of real-world time; if anything it makes more sense with how I’ve not needed to eat or sleep for days on end. I’ve never been away from the links for this long, not since I started travelling with them that is. They’re probably worried sick at this point; it’s probably only a matter of hours until they do manage to find me. Until Wolfie sniffs me out, Sky uses Fi to dowse for my signal, or even Wild traces me with his slate.

“[name]?”

And with that last thought it’s as if I’ve jinxed myself and my hiding spot. The one thing I can be glad for is that it’s Sky who found me, while his anger is terrifying it’s not on the same level as Time, Warrior or Light forbid if Legend was the one to find me. Sky is oh-so-nice compared to them, even if he is a yandere with a strange fascination, a near-obsessive infatuation.

he still treats me like I'm a person though, so there's that. He, I think if I were to end up with any of them it would be him. 

"oh by Hylia, [name] are you alright? you've been missing for so long, we thought you were kidnapped, but by the looks of it, you've managed to escape them! even, even if it did leave you hurt"

his smile doesn't look right. he's lying, lying straight to my face... 

but it's not like he's lying to me. No, it's like he's trying to convince himself that's what happened. His concern is sweet despite how misplaced it may be; I can't bring myself to break it to him that it's not what happened. Unless...

I couldn't, could I?

oh, but I could.

"link, I- I wasn't kidnapped. I was scared of how the others are acting, I didn't feel safe so- so I ran as far as I could"

This affected me more than I thought, seeing as I could barely finish the sentence without stuttering or coming close to bursting into tears, I hope he reacts the way I want him to and by the look of it, he will.

His face instantly fell when I said that, filled with pity and something else I can't quite put my finger on, the closest thing I can think of is pride but even that doesn't seem right, is, is he smug? Why would he be smug that I’m scared of the others when I…

“Oh my dove, you don't need to be worried now, I'm here. I'm the only one you trust after all; the only one of us you need. you're my betrothed, my one true love until the end of time"

his"betrothed", when did he- how would he- how didn't I realise? Is Skyloftian culture so different to my own? oh, what am I saying of course it's that different. why is he reaching for - the feather? he proposed when he gave me that earring, didn't he?

"I knew I made the right choice when I chose you as mine, we’re perfect for each other can’t you see? And I know I shouldn't love you, I know I shouldn't love you but I do and nothing will separate me from you again as long as I draw breath.”

And isn’t that the truth, that look in his eyes, that stupid lovesick look. I’m not a fool entire for I know exactly what it means. The idea that even if I somehow made it home…

He would find me.

And he would never let go.

How are you even supposed to respond to something like this? This declaration of ownership, that no matter what I do I’m his. To think how I idolised him when he was nothing more than a game character, how naive was I?

Even still I can’t bring myself to hate him, even if he’s a walking red flag. Even if he’s someone I should run from in fear - It’s still Sky, still the only one to welcome me with open arms, the only one to treat me ever so kindly when I was petrified of everything.

Part of me is telling me to leave, to do what's smart and practical. But another part is pulling me towards staying, following my heart even if it means taking a risk. I know I’d have regrets either way for I would be losing something I care for no matter my choice and I’ll need to say something soon to him, even if it’s a lie. I can’t bear to see him so worried, even knowing where that worry is from.

I don't know what the right choice is, but I know that I have to make a decision. And no matter what I choose, I'll have to live with the consequences.

[caelestine-the-caelicatto]

" A Shade of Blue in Spring's View "

Summary: The memories of spring long lost forgotten starts to resurface, as you face the last person you least expected.

The drastic way of how fate plays its game full of twists and dreams that shattered along the way.

The endless nights filled with sleepless nights, wondering where I went wrong and the what ifs as the scenario plays again in my head, like a cascade on repeat.

Choosing a path as I gamble away what is right and what is wrong, follow the rules or break the rules, be selfish or self-righteous, be the hero or be the villain.

No one really knows, but maybe in this lifetime... I'll play the role as the antagonist.

And yet, that antagonist finally meets it doom.

Crimson red flowing like the river Nile, where death upon in me is near.

Before I meet the man of death, my life flashed before my eyes. Out of all memories, it had to be Spring. The spring that changed the course of my life. The memories of spring where I was at the peak of my youth.

The spring where I experienced being a young man enjoying life to the fullest. The spring that tainted my thoughts and changed my ideals of the world. The spring where I bloomed and discovered my reason and purpose. Lastly, the spring where I found love and crushed "him" like a withered daffodil. As cliche as it is, similar to a boring romcom where the main characters run into each other's arms, embracing themselves in joy and love. I, too, was faced by the man whom I swore to death.

"You're late, Satoru." Said I, in a tone lingering like honey as I have always been when interacting with the man. Even near death doors, I will forever be gentle with my words whenever I am near him. As I lean on the wall while facing the man for the last time. Those eyes as I can recall were full of love once, and now it's filled with nothingness, no, my eyes must be fooling me. Those blue eyes that many detest, but I found solace in it says otherwise: regret.

"Suguru." The albino haired man called my name in a tone that is thicker than ice. Satoru Gojo is his name, a special grade sorcerer for having the "Six-eyes," many envy him for inheriting such technique as well as being the strongest sorcerer. But for him, he finds it a curse.

People say Satoru is special for it, but... does a technique really matter to be special? Well, maybe in the world we are in. However, Satoru Gojo is special indeed, special to the point seeing him in so much pain that only I can see.

Finally, he dropped the question that I merely chuckle.

"Any last words?" Satoru Gojo asked me, before we part ways.

"No matter what anyone says, I hate those monkeys. But I never held any hatred for those in Jujutsu High." I tell him honestly, "I just couldn't wear a heartfelt smile in this world."

It is the truth, after seeing my peers die for the sake of others as they slowly line up in death's doors, I could not bare that thought.

"Suguru." Surprised by how soft his voice was in this situation, brings me back to the spring nights laying on the same bed, staring at the ceiling whispering sweet nothings.

I stare at him wide eyes at his confession, A weak smile appeared on my lips and with my last breath, "At least hit me with some curses at my end."

We finally bid farewell to one another.

At some moments, maybe I cursed myself for having regrets choosing this path for myself.

I admit, I was envy of him once.

But I set it aside and played my own cards to win instead.

Nevertheless, maybe this path of ours is different and fate is too cruel for us to be together.

Just maybe, just maybe... The situation is different and a sign that we are not meant to be together.

After all, love is the cruelest curse of them all.

Mori's notes: Hello! This is my first time writing fanfiction in a while and I hope everyone likes it at least.

The dialogues are replicated as it is in the movie to give it more detail and the feels.

But, the rest are all mine and please don't plagiarism nor steal my words.

I appreciate some feedbacks, likes, and reblogs (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

Lovely dividers from @fawndollie do check her out!

[sangheilihoes]

Confessions Pt. 1

Warnings: Angst

🫵 @ladysaturnsdust @bloodhaven99 @wyyvernn @konnisart @psybrepunk @heiress-prime @haytham-loves-chocolate @demigoddessqueens @memoriesofafallen 🫵

A/n: feels rushed but whatever. Hope you enjoy 🩷

Haytham had been pining over you for weeks, maybe months. You've been friends with him for awhile now, having already known nearly the full extent of what hes gone through, over drinks and vulnerable moments, so he naturally already trusts you. He wanted to make his ever growing feelings known but each time he walked toward you, he panicked, suddenly realizing that you never looked him that way and to ruin such a close, trusting friendship is too hard to bear, so his thoughts were never said aloud.

He hadn’t expected to fall so hard but you filled a part of him he thought he’d lost long ago. You were smart, almost too smart, you could read him when no one else could, you were also inquisitive, eager to learn any and everything. There was also an eye for detail he didn’t have, you could notice a heart shape where he saw nothing. You had a mouth too, you weren’t afraid to speak up if a plan didn’t sound good or if you felt disrespected, the both of you got into arguments because of it but he never got mad, only mildly annoyed. And by gods, you were beautiful. Eyes that seemed to make his heart beat faster when his own met them, hair that made him want to run his hands through, to feel the soft locks run in between his fingers, to smell what shampoo you used and the prettiest lips he wanted to kiss, to feel.

Haytham never loved life, finding it too cold to love but with you, the sky seemed more blue, the trees more green, the flowers and his heart bloomed. No, he would never love life but he would love a life with you, as much as he tried to deny himself such a luxury.

When he had yet another restless night, his sleep filled with nightmares of losing you, dressed simple trousers and a billowy shirt, with his gun on the side. he left his home. He didn’t know where he was going nor did he care but fate somehow lead him to your door. His shaky hand knocked softly, unsure if you were even awake at this point.

‘Well, no going back’ he thought to himself

He waited for you to answer for what seemed like an eternity but was no more than a minute.

“Who is it?” You asked from inside

“It’s just me.” He responded

You opened the door, surprised to see Haytham standing there, looking almost… lost

“Is something wrong, Haytham?” Concern lacing your voice

“No. I… I need to speak with you. Please?” His voice wavered

You let him in without another word, the warmth of you your home inviting compared to the cool night. You were nervous; he looked like he hadn’t slept, his body was slack, hair was down and messy, something clearly wasn’t right.

“Ok, Haytham, cut to the chase, what’s going on?”

“I apologize for disturbing you, I just needed someone to talk to.” He sounded emotional.

Stepping closer, your hand coming to rest on his arm. This wasn’t Templar related was it? You briefly considered grabbing a bottle of ale.

“Y/N… I’m scared.” He finally confessed

“You? Scared? Of what?” You could laugh but he was serious

“You. You scare me, Y/N.”

...Wait, what?! Haytham Edward Kenway? Scared of you?! ‘Am I dreaming?’ You thought

“Why? What did I d-”

“I’m scared of losing you.” He cut you off, his confession knocking the wind out of you. You went to ask why but once again he cut you off

“I have nightmares of losing you; whether it’d be you leaving or dying, I don’t know which is worse. I’ve been so scared to tell you how I feel. You’re my closest friend and I don’t know what’d I do without you.” He paused, taking a deep breath then making eye contact with you.

“Y/N, over these past couple months… I’ve noticed my feelings go from friendship to something deeper. You’ve awaken something long lost in my heart. You’ve been there through finding my sister, losing Jim, Birch, everything. And there isn’t anything I wouldn’t tell you. You have more a soul than I ever could. Not even the gods could compare to you.”

“Haytham…”

“Y/N, I’m in love with you and I’m scared. Scared I’m going to lose this friendship, going to lose you. And I can’t.”

All you could do is stare at him in shock, your face burning. You swore he could hear your heart beating. Suddenly his face fell.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you that. I’ll leav-”

“NO! Don’t leave! I-I-” You started but the words couldn’t leave. You had started growing feelings too but never said anything, thinking it would pass but it never did, if anything, they grew. You took a deep breath

“Haytham, I feel the same. You mean the world to me and I’d give anything to not lose you, even if it means not telling you how I feel. You’re such a hardass but I’ve seen the other sides, the softer and vulnerable, it only makes me love you more. And to know that you trust and care about me means the world. Thank you for telling me.”

The way he looked at you made your heart flutter, there was a spark in his eyes you’ve never seen before.

“Can I kiss you, Y/N?” He asked, heart beating out his chest.

“Please…” You responded. Leaning in closer, feeling his body press against yours, his arm coming to wrap around your waist and his other hand coming to cup your face, pulling you toward him. Your hand that held his arm was now wrapped around his neck with your free hand coming to rest on his shoulder.

Haythams lips met your own in a sweet, gentle, tentative kiss. Finally affirming your shared feelings. He felt fireworks go off in his chest, what he imagined your lips to be couldn’t hold a candle to how soft they really were and how perfectly his locked with yours.

Reluctantly, you pulled way, coming to see how dazed and in love he looked. He looked at you like you were the only thing that existed. Suddenly, you found his lips on your again, this time more feverish, desperate to have you and to make up for lost time.

“Stay here, I want you with me.”

“Anything for you.”

[wareagleofthemountain]

Tears Of Gold

Pairing: Prince Nuada x fem elf reader

You panted as you ran up steep cliff sides and dodged tree roots and boulders in your haste. But there was no time to stop and catch your breath. Not with him following so close behind. You were Princess Nuala’s personal guard and close friend, her having entrusted you to destroy the third crown piece to prevent her brother from gaining control of the infamous Golden Army. He would surely go after her first, but you knew it was only a matter of time before he perceived the change of hands through their bond. He would sense that she no longer had it, and you would be his next target.

You fully intended to throw it over a mighty waterfall, letting the cursed object become lost in time, until you saw the horrors that awaited you over the next hill chrest.

You gave pause, scanning the scene around you with unbelieving eyes. You saw human men driving big trucks, some with cranes on the back and others with scoopers. They were… cutting down the grove of trees and digging into the soil.

The feeling of dread in your chest increased as you caught sight of something gray laying by the water’s edge. Stepping closer, you slowly removed the overgrown shrubbery off of its form, revealing the creature to be a powerfully built wolf. With… two bullets in her side.

“No…” You breathed, kneeling by her side and stroking her ears with the back of your hand. This forest had been your home ever since the original truce with the humans, where they would inhabit the cities and the magical creatures would prosper in the forests. However, even after the people of Bethmora were pushed into exile when men fought to acquire the forests as part of their kingdom, you’d still visit this place frequently. During that time, you’d befriended this wolf and her mate. Your elvish abilities allow you to communicate with animals and through this link, you’d learned that they’d been blessed with pups. Judging by the state of the wolf now, you could tell that she was heavily pregnant. The monsters must have shot her for defending her home. Your home…

“Oh my friend…” Your vision blurred with tears. The once mighty oceans now littered in filth. The temples built to worship your gods, destroyed. The vibrant trees you so loved dancing under and witness changing in each season… cut down and strapped to the back of a truck headed who knows where.

The earth’s pain was your pain… and you felt it in full.

“What are they doing?” You whimpered, the crown piece long since fallen from your hand to the ground, forgotten.

“They are stripping the land and mining for oil.” The voice behind you was soft, somber.

“They fought us so hard for this land. So they could do… this? She waited years to have these pups…” The hand landing on your shoulder pulled you out of your shock, reminding you of the precarious situation you were now in.

Leaping up, you drew your blade swiftly and tucked the crown piece securely into your pocket as you sized up your attacker. “Nuada…”

The golden elf merely held your eyes, tilting his head back as you pointed your blade at his throat. He made no move to grasp his weapon.

He saw the way your hands shook, breath unsteady and tears still running down your cheeks. “Come, my love, drop your weapon.”

“Don’t! I’m not your anything.” Your voice cracked in anger. “Last I recall, you were the one who disappeared off of the face of the earth before our wedding.”

The prince looked down. “What I did… it was wrong. But believe me when I tell you that not a second went by that my heart was not with you. I knew they would do this. They are not fit to protect this world. My father would’ve let us fade from existence… I couldn’t allow you to suffer such a fate.”

He held out his hand to you, waiting patiently for you to come to him.

“I looked everywhere for you…” The anger was subsiding now, giving way to the hurt that had been plaguing your soul for years.

“I’m here now, and we can save our people. Together.” He tenderly wiped a tear from your face, sliding the sword from your hand. “But I need the crown piece first. You could be my queen. Come with me, please.”

Seeing your doubt, he continued. “The mortals, they don’t care about you. To them, you are a mere shield they send out to fight battles they are too cowardly to fight themselves.”

He stroked your cheek, his breath ghosting over your lips as he leaned in. “You are a legendary warrior who is capable of so much more.”

You looked into his eyes, seeing only the soft gaze you fell in love with many summers ago now.

“Come with me.” He repeated.

“Okay…” You breathed, wrapping your arms around his neck as he pulled you in for a deep kiss. He was always so warm, and you’d missed this closeness dearly. He held you there for a long moment, taking in your scent as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too…” You pressed another kiss to his lips before you pulled apart, holding out the golden crown piece to him.

He reached into his robes and produced the other two thirds of the crown, carefully sliding in its missing segment.

“It is complete.” He handed you the crown, taking a knee at your feet. “I wish you to do it.”

You took a deep breath before reciting the traditional coronation speech of Bethmora. “By the power vested in me, I name you King Nuada Silverlance, leader of the Golden Army. Is there anyone here who wishes to dispute this right?” Hearing none, you place the crown atop his head. As the two of you walk down the mountain hand in hand, you silently vow that the next time you look upon this forest, it will be as queen in the homecoming of your people.

Tag list: @a-world-of-whimsy-5

[writingwithina]

Long Story Short, I Survived

Pairing : Charles leclerc x reader ; Max Verstappen x reader

Author's note: She's done and she's here. It was 4 a.m. here in India when I finished writing the story. I was gonna post it then but as I was proof reading, I realised I missed writing a scene. I could've written it then and posted it but I had a driving class at 7 so I had to sleep. Thank you for your patience and I hope you guys like this. My inbox is always open for you to pop in and tell me your thoughts or just rant about anything that's troubling you. As always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading!

Content: Fluff and some angst.

Word Count: 3.9k words

Read part one of the story: I Miss You I'm Sorry

The hardest pill Y/n had to swallow was that no matter how good she was to Charles, no matter how much she loved him, he could and did turn his back on her and there was nothing she could do about it. She went home from the party, questioning everything. She thought back on every 'I love you', ' I miss you', ' 'You're my forever', she wondered if Charles had really meant these words. She spent a week in her bedroom, wallowing in her misery. She felt as if she had lost everything, as if Charles had ripped apart her life and she had no idea how to sew it back together. It was the worst feeling in the world, realising she didn't mean as much to Charles as she thought she did. It was amusing how easily he could break her heart. Perhaps happily ever afters only existed in fiction. Don't get her wrong , she knew relationships required work and there's no such thing as a happily ever after, not like in the movies anyway. For her, a happy ever after meant working through the differences, the problems together, putting equal efforts to make the relationship work. But her reality was different. It wasn't waking up in the arms of her love. It was a cold, lonely bed and a shattered heart. After re evaluating her relationship, her life, Y/n decided Charles really wasn't worth her tears. He wasn't worthy of her, not when he could so easily betray her. From now on, the only person she would live for is herself. She would learn to realise her own worth and she would be her own person. No more staying up late just for a call from your boyfriend which never came, no more prioritising him over you, no more false promises and certainly no more love and promises of togetherness. From now on she would only belong to herself.

—------------

Max had seen Y/n run out of the party. All he wanted to do was comfort her and hold her. Tell her she deserved better, that she deserved him but he knew that it wasn't the right time. The first time Max had seen you was at the Miami Grand Prix . The moment he laid his eyes on you, he was infatuated. He wanted nothing more than to be in Charles' place. He wanted to be the one calling you his. He wanted to love you, hold you, kiss you. He wanted to hear his name fall from your lips as he claimed you in every way. But it wasn't possible. Max kept his distance from you. The two of you shared the occasional greeting and that was that. Max admired you from afar. He thought he was being discreet but that was far from the truth. Everyone around him noticed how his eyes didn't leave you when you were in the paddock. Even Christian called him out on this, he advised him to confess his feelings to you but Max refrained. He was okay with appreciating you from a distance. After all, if you were meant to be his, fate would bring you together. If not, he would pray to the high heavens to grant him another life where he could be yours, where he could worship you.

A little part of Max was happy you had broken up with Charles. He wasn't gonna make a move on you right now but was glad that he would not be restricted by any relationship you were in. He wanted to give you space. He also wanted to come up with a plan to ask you in the best way possible. If he was really going to pursue you, he was going to do it right.

Five months passed before Max finally decided to make a move on you. He knew the coffee shop you frequented. He was gonna wait at the coffee shop for you and then "accidentally" bump into you. It was stupid, he was aware but he didn't know what else he could do. It wasn't like he could just come up to your house and ask you on a date. Max waited the entire day at the shop but you never came. To say he was disappointed would be an understatement. On his way out, he ran into Lewis.

" Lewis! Hi, what-uh what are you doing here? " Max sputtered

" Uh, I was just getting a coffee since it's a coffee shop and all, " Lewis mentioned.

" Oh, yeah. I'll- I'll see you around ", Max said a little too loudly, trying to escape.

" Max, wait! "

All Max wanted to do was go home and look at your social media accounts to see if you had mentioned going on a vacation. He didn't want to deal with Lewis right now. He was aware that Lewis knew you since you were a baby and he wasn't gonna discuss his infatuation with you with him.

" Uh yeah?

" You were waiting here for Y/n, weren't you? "

" Why would I do that"

" Because you've always liked her and this place is where she always gets her coffee from. I've never seen you here ever since you moved to Monaco. The only logical conclusion is that you were waiting for her so you could ask her out. " Lewis concluded.

Max couldn't understand if Lewis was upset or angry at him.

" Or maybe I just wanted a coffee? " Max lied.

" Don't bullshit me Max. "

" I- I'm not "

" I know you've always liked her. But she isn't staying here anymore. She moved to Milan. "

" Milan? Why? "

" She needed a fresh start. Look, I know you like her. If you want to ask her out, go for it. I'll warn you though, she might not say yes. She already got her heart broken once and I highly doubt she is willing to go through it again. She's changed a lot since November. "

Max wasn't surprised by that. He understood you would have your defenses up after getting your heart broken so badly. But that wasn't gonna deter him. He will do his damn best to get you to believe in love again. He was a man on a mission.

" So you've no problem with me asking her out? " Max questioned Lewis.

" No. You're both adults. She's like my little sister so of course I want to protect her. I hate Charles for what he did to her. But she's also her own person. She can make decisions for herself. Just don't hurt her any more. I don't think she is capable of getting her heart broken one more time. "

Max nodded his head. Lewis gave him your new address and wished him luck.

Max booked the earliest flight to Milan. He could've taken a train but he didn't want to waste anymore time. It was late at night when he landed in Milan. He booked a hotel near your house and told himself he would be at your doorstep bright and early in the morning.

—-------

It was nine in the morning on a Sunday when Y/n heard the doorbell ring. All she wanted to do was ignore the ringing and go back to bed. But something in her told her to get up and open the door. So she did exactly that. Surprise coated her face as she saw Max at her doorstep with a bouquet of Sunflowers in his hand. Out of all the people she could expect at her doorstep, Max certainly wasn't one of them.

" Max! Hi, what- what are you doing here? "

" Good morning Y/n. Can I come in? "

" Yeah, yeah, of course. " Y/n stepped away, letting Max inside her house.

" These are for you. I know sunflowers are your favourite ", uttered Max as he gave the bouquet of freshly picked sunflowers to her.

" Thanks. " Y/n walked over to the vase she had kept on her dining table and arranged the flowers. " Can I get you anything? Tea? Water? Coffee? A redbull? "

" Water is fine. "

" So, what brings you here Max? " Y/n questioned as she handed a glass of water to him.

" I- I'm not going to beat around the bush with this. I like you Y/n, I really really like you. I have since I first saw you at the Miami Grand Prix last year. I couldn't confess this to you back then because you were with Charles. I know you got your heart broken and I know my words don't mean anything to you right now but please try and believe me. "

" Max I don't- I don't know what to say. "

" Just one date. Go on just one date with me. If you don't want to go out with me after that, I'll respect your decision. But if you do find me worthy of your time, of you, I promise to love you, cherish you, worship you the way you deserve. I cannot promise that we'll never fight or that I won't hurt you or you won't hurt me. Relationships aren't always perfect. But what I can promise you is that I'll be by your side through every up and down. It would be us against the problems and not you versus me. Just give me one chance to prove myself to you. "

Y/n was awestruck. Max said all the words she wanted to hear and she hadn't even gone out with him yet. She wanted to yes, she so badly wanted to say yes but something was holding her back.

" I don't wanna get hurt again Max. Whatever happened to me and Charles broke me. It was extremely hard to piece myself back together again. I cannot do this all over again. "

" I promise you, I won't ever hurt you in the way Charles did. Let me prove myself to you , give me one chance. "

" One? "

" Just one. "

" Okay, I'll give you one chance. "

" Really? "

" Really. "

Max's happiness knew no bounds. Her dream girl had finally agreed to go on a date with him. His smile lit up his face. This felt even better than winning his second World Championship.

" Thank you Y/n, thank you. I promise you won't regret this decision. "

—--------

Their first date happened a week later. Y/n was clueless where Max was taking her. His only instruction was to dress comfortably. "Dress comfortably" could mean a lot of things. Y/n didn't know if she should wear sweats or something like a sundress. After much debating, she ultimately decided to wear a white sundress which had daisies printed on it. She left her hair down and wore a scrunchie on her wrist in case it got too hot. Max arrived at her doorstep at five o'clock in the evening. This time he brought a bouquet of daisies. He wore a simple white crew neck, faded blue jeans and paired it with a baby blue cardigan. He looked cozy and cuddly and incredibly handsome and cute. Y/n couldn't decide which adjective she would use to describe him. Max was the perfect gentleman. He opened the car door for her as they went towards the secret location Max still wouldn't disclose. He complimented her the entire time. He would constantly ask her questions about herself. Y/n was happy, for the first time in a long time, she was genuinely happy. Her cheeks hurt from smiling so much. She was pleasantly surprised by Max's dry humour. She didn't expect him to be so funny but he surprised her. The entire car ride was filled with laughter and anecdotes from the past. Y/n couldn't remember the last time she had this much fun with Charles. For a moment, she thought about that relationship again. When was the last time Charles had brought her flowers? When was the last time they had gone on a date? Their relationship before that "break" was a blur of fights and hurtful words. Now that Y/n saw that relationship from a new perspective, she realised just how much more invested she was in it than Charles. She couldn't believe she let herself be treated the way he did. But now, she was an entirely different person. She wouldn't let Max treat her the way Charles did. But something told her, call it an intuition or a gut feeling that Max would treat her with respect. That he would be as much a part of the relationship as she would be. Y/n was hopeful that this time life would reward her with happiness and the happily ever after she always wanted.

Max parked the car near a garden. He took a huge basket from the trunk of his car and a bedsheet.

" We're having a picnic? " Y/n couldn't control her gleeful voice. She freaking loved picnics. In her opinion, a picnic was the best way to get to know someone. Also you could tell a lot about a person from what they packed for a picnic. She was really glad Max had planned a picnic as their first date.

" Yeah. I hope that's okay. I didn't wanna have a boring dinner date. " Max replied, his voice laced with a hint of fear.

" It's more than okay Max. I love picnics. "

Max smiled at that. He mentally patted himself for making the right choice. They chose a secluded corner under a tree and spread the bedsheet. They talked about everything and nothing. Y/n told him about her childhood and why she thinks Rapunzel is the best Disney movie ever and Max told her about his interests apart from racing and how he is hoping to adopt a dog soon. They didn't realise four hours had passed. It felt as if they had been there for only thirty minutes.They packed up and left the park. On the way home, they got ice-cream and got into a debate on whether Mint Choc Chip is the superior flavour or good ole vanilla. Y/n argued it was Mint choc chip, Max argued it was Vanilla. (It's definitely a Mint choc chip. Anyone who argues otherwise is wrong.)

As they reached home, Max walked Y/n up to her door, gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and bid her good night. Y/n was a little disappointed that he didn't kiss her but knew it was the right decision to take it slow. When Max texted her the next day asking if she would be willing to go on another date with him, she replied she would be very mad if he didn't take her out again. And what was next? They went on many dates together. Sometimes they went for a walk near the neighbourhood or had cooking nights. Cooking nights mainly consisted of Y/n cooking and Max trying to distract her with kisses because Max couldn't cook even if his life depended on it. They had fun together, they were comfortable with each other. They could both sit in silence and Y/n would still say that she was having the time of her life. Whenever doubts slipped in her mind, Max would always remind her that he would always be there for her and that he would never let anything hurt her. Y/n concluded that saying yes to Max was the best decision she ever made.

—--

The first time Max confessed his love for her Y/n was asleep. She had a big meeting the next day and needed all the rest she could get. Max decided he would tell her tomorrow that he loved her. Three months is enough time before saying I Love You right? But Max couldn't tell her he loved her the first thing in the morning because by the time he woke up, Y/n had already left for the office. As he made breakfast for himself, his phone rang. His phone lit up with a picture of her he had taken on their third date. She was telling him about the new book she had started reading and how the protagonist was pissing her off while happily munching on some McDonald's fries. He picked the call and instead of being met with her calm voice, he heard her frantically saying something he couldn't understand.

"Snoepje, calm down. I can't understand what you're saying. "

" I forgot my files at home and my meeting starts in half an hour. Could you- can you please bring those files here? "

" Of course. Give me fifteen minutes. "

" They're kept on the table in the living room. Thank you so much honey!"

Max brought her the files and a scalding cup of coffee within the next 15 minutes. As soon as she saw him, she engulfed him in a big hug and thanked him profusely. They didn't get to talk much as Y/n had to leave immediately for the meeting. Max decided to wait for her. After all, it was the most important meeting that could benefit her in her career . The least he could do was be there for her.

The meeting went on for an hour. No sooner did Y/n see him than she wrapped her arms around him, breathed a deep sigh of relief and softly said, " I love you."

Max was stunned for a moment. Did he hear her correctly?

" Y/n, what did you just say? "

" I said I'm in love with you. I didn't plan for it to come out this way but you're here and I couldn't wait any longer to say those words. It's okay, you don't have to say them-"

Max abruptly cut her off with a kiss.

" You've no idea how long I've waited to hear you say those words. I'm in love with you too, Snoepje. I've been for the past six months. "

Y/n smiled softly and kissed him. She loved him and he loved her. What more could they ask for?

—--

They had been together for six months when they decided to let the public know about their relationship. Max was apprehensive. He didn't want her dealing with hate and public outrage just because she dated Charles before. Y/n assured him that she was ready, she wanted the world to know she was his and he was hers. They walked hand in hand at the Silverstone Grand Prix. As soon as the fans spotted them, they went wild. Some of them were incredibly ecstatic to see Y/n after such a long time while others questioned why she arrived at the paddock with Max. Rumors immediately started circulating around the paddock and on all social media platforms. But Y/n didn't care if anyone was slut-shaming her or calling her a homewrecker. She knew her reality. The race was going to begin in an hour and Max was doing some last minute check up in the car. She decided to walk around the paddock. A part of her had missed this, missed the adrenaline pumping through everyone's veins, missed the unadulterated excitement and people's love for this sport. She was waiting for the social media manager for Red Bull when Charles caught her. Y/n knew Charles was gonna be here but for some reason she hadn't expected to run into him. She expected to feel something, anything when she saw him. But she felt nothing , no anger or sadness coursed through her veins.

" Charles, hi. "

" How are you doing? "

" I'm fine. How are you? "

" I've seen better days. "

Y/n didn't know what to say .

" So you and Max, huh? " Charles said with an accusatory tone.

" Yeah, what about it? "

" Nothing. It's a little funny how you got together with him when it's even a year after our break up. "

" Are you serious right now? " Y/n fumed. " You're in no position to question my relationship with Max when you cheated on me. "

" I didn't cheat. We were on a break, " Charles defended.

" A break didn't mean we had broken up Charles. You told me you needed some time apart because it would be good for our relationship. It did not give you the permission to cheat. Were you ever gonna tell me if I hadn't found out at that party? "

" I was gonna tell you soon. I just didn't know how. I knew you would overreact like you're right now. "

" You've got some nerve Charles. Getting mad at your partner for cheating isn't an overreaction. If you really were over me, over us, you could've simply told me that. You didn't have to go and get in someone else's pants. I would have understood that your priorities changed or that I didn't make you happy anymore. You weren't the only person in that relationship. Why did you do it? "

" Do what? "

" Cheat? Why couldn't you just tell me you wanted to break up?"

" I-I don't know. I was just afraid of hurting you. But I now realise I hurt you more by not communicating with you. I didn't realise what I had until I lost you. And now seeing you with Max, I'm jealous I guess. I remember when you used to smile at me like that. I remember making you happy. I just wanted that back. "

" You can't have that back. For what it's worth Charles, I did truly love you and I guess a part of me always will. But it will never happen again and you should accept it. I've never been as happy as I'm when I'm with Max. I hope you find someone to make you happy as well. And I'm sorry it couldn't be me. " With that Y/n left. She didn't have anything else to say to him. She walked to the Red Bull hospitality where Max was looking for her. As he spotted her , he jogged up to her. He noticed a dull expression on her face and was concerned.

" Hey. Is everything okay? Why are you upset? "

Y/n didn't say anything as she wrapped his arms around her and breathed in his scent. She rested her head on his chest and took some deep breaths to ground herself.

" Y/n, love, you're scaring me. Are you okay? "

" I'm okay now. I love you. "

—---

Charles went on to become the 2023 World Champion with Max becoming the vice World Champion (I know chances of Charles being the World champion are highly unlikely but let me be delusional in peace). Charles should have been happy, this is what he wanted his entire life but he wasn't. As he saw Max wrap his arms around you and celebrate an incredible season, he felt the emptiness in his heart. There was not a day that went by without Charles mourning his relationship with you. He knew you were happy with Max and he knew he had to accept it but he couldn't. He couldn't forgive himself for giving up on the best thing that ever happened to him. Maybe ten years, twenty years from now, he would be able to look at you without yearning filling his senses. Maybe if enough time passed he would learn not to reach for you every morning when he woke up. And maybe, just maybe he would be able to love someone else and stop looking for you in every person. Charles couldn't blame you for leaving if he didn't do anything to make you stay. He regrets a lot of things but letting you go would always be his greatest regret.

[qiutls]

TNGDH 008

I climbed on Sen's palm and looked around.

Since Kyle is busy searching with his eyes wide open, this girl should head straight over to his study. Earlier, I couldn't take a good look on the way here because I was in a hurry to run away, so I should take this chance to learn.

That way tomorrow, I can use "Summon" at the storage room and wear Kyle's clothes that I hid, then I can go to the opposite room from the study.

The point is that I can only specify the location for "Summon" to be within 10m radius. Of course, I have to get more clothes. It's so damn cold, it isn't called the North for a reason.

"Sen, where are you going?"

A maid who was moving a laundry basket called Sen. The place I was hiding in, seemed to be where the servants do the laundry.

"I found it!"

Sen lifted me up proudly, and I carefully held onto her palm with my body in case I slip. Hey, don't raise me up so high, I can't see anything.

"I guess it wasn't that shy. It even seemed nice. It's so cute looking around trying to find the way back."

After hearing that, the maids gathered around her and said, 'I envy you,' 'It must be cute,' 'I want to raise one too,' and etcetera. If you wrote their words and arranged them in one line, it seemed like it would even reach Busan.

I burrowed my face in Sen's palm feeling ashamed.

'... Was I too obvious while looking around?'

I'll get weary if I'm too self-conscious.

"Can you take me with you?"

A maid who seemed to be close with Sen approached me with her eyes shining. How dare you put your spoon into someone else's bowl. No, hmph. Is this decision up to Serena?

― Squeak [ Get lost! ]

She was visibly embarrassed when I started squeaking and stretching out of Sen's palm.

"Ack! What's wrong with it? Wasn't it very quiet just a while ago..."

― Squeak! Squeak! [ You foolish human! You want to share the merit, how greedy! ]

Were you fated to be Serena, the best woman in the empire? Of course, I must've messed up that fate but anyways... Why do you need Kyle's favorable impression!

Right then, a low voice rang behind us.

"Cashew Nut."

"G-grand Duke!"

This ghostlike bastard. He found me so easily.

Kyle's eyes which were tinted with red turned to look at me, then he frowned slightly... That action made everyone feel more intimidated. Seriously, his looks are enough to win a battle.

Hey! Why won't you smile. Didn't you find me already. I don't even have a single scratch on my body. Don't make the atmosphere too heavy, don't you feel sorry for these maids.

Speaking of them, among all the maids, only Sen wasn't shaking with fear, and even turned towards Kyle.

"Your Highness, I've found the beast as you've commanded."

Kyle tried to reach out to me but stopped when he saw me sitting comfortably on Sen's hand.

"... I guess it's comfortable staying with you."

"That, Your Highness..."

"Will you come to my study with me?"

Sen looked down at me for a moment, stroked my back with her thumb and nodded. The other maids have went back to their original positions and could only glance.

After arriving at the study, Kyle tried to put me inside the hamster house.

Of course, I tried my best to resist. You said we would sleep together today! How can you give me freedom then take it away like this, you cheating bastard!

Sadly, Kyle seemed to have misunderstood my actions.

"It seems like it really likes you."

"I guess it does, Your Highness."

Sen smiled slightly, with a hint of embarrassment and happiness. However, she still put me firmly inside the hamster house.

"You have to go in. It's bad to leave the house so recklessly. You made His Highness worried."

But, I'll be back after 30 minutes anyways. I was just taking a quick walk.

"I'll make it up to you."

Kyle said after closing the ceiling of the hamster house. Sen only stared at him, so he added.

"I thought it would be hard to find. I had that hunch after the magicians said they couldn't track its mana. But thanks to you, I was able to easily find Cashew Nut..."

"....."

"Tell me what you want. I swear on the name the Grand Duke of Blake, I will grant you anything you wish."

Sen's eyes turned to me, who was leaning on the wheel. She seemed to be troubled.

Her eyes were filled with both longing and resignation then it turned to melancholy for a moment, but it quickly snapped back to her usual look.

"It's alright, Your Highness, there's no need."

Sen replied in a firm voice.

"What I wish for is something Your Highness cannot grant, so I'll handle it myself. Please just know that I have done my best, and if there comes to be a day in this castle where I face injustice, I just hope that Your Highness is willing to lend a hand."

"Interesting."

Kyle leaned back onto the sofa and spoke slowly.

"Is there a wish that cannot be granted within this territory of mine?"

Hey, don't fight with a maid and her wish. I mumbled while washing my dirty paws in the water bowl.

'... By the way, what could Sen's wish be?'

To marry Belial? Anyway, I don't remember what the ending of the story was but I remember these two were in love with each other. And isn't it a common ending for novels for the leads to live happily ever after. This ending is basically a national rule.

But... It's impossible to fall in love with Belial here in the north, which is a long way from the Imperial City, maybe her wish is to raise her status?

Then a system window popped up.

[ Revenge. ]

'Revenge?'

Sen's wish is revenge?

[ Serena's only wish is revenge. ]

Not Sen, but Serena's.

The system was still calling her Serena and not Sen.

Does that mean, she's still fated to be Serena.

Even if the fate of transmigration was changed, the part of her becoming empress seems to not have changed. This made me feel strange. I blinked and looked up at Sen.

'What the hell happened to you.'

It felt really strange to think that the novel I read is someone's vivid life and not just a few lines typed on paper.

"By the way."

Kyle called Sen's attention quietly and she looked back at him calmly, not afraid of his aura a single bit. Seems like her liver is big.

*Koreans equate the liver to what English equates the heart to bigger heart / liver = more courageous*

"Your face looks familiar."

Sen flinched and her shoulders stiffened, her strong appearance seemed to crumble right there and then. Her green eyes which had been calm all this time shook and her lower lip turned pale for a moment.

But she quickly recovered, she turned her head towards me and closed her eyes tightly. The moment she opened them, she smiled and it looked so natural, making me think twice whether the expression I saw earlier was a moment of illusion.

"I'm not even a maid that's in charge of Your Highness, how could I look familiar?"

"But... It seems like we have met before?"

​Your Highness, the Grand Duke, that's such an old-fashioned comment.

Sen replied with a meaningful smile.

"I am one of your subjects. Besides, I'm a maid working in this castle, so it's natural that my face is familiar."

"Yes, I suppose so."

Kyle seemed to move on without much thought on the problem.

Come to think of it, Kyle was quite obsessed with Serena in the original version of the novel. But what was the reason? There must have been a good reason to be obsessed with someone who you could not even see in your territory...

It was not easy to remember all the content of the novel because there was so much happening, it's a good thing that the system helps most of the time.

"What's your name?"

"Sen, Your Highness."

"Alright, Sen."

Kyle thought of something then looked at me.

No, don't look so friendly, maintain your dignity as a solemn and grand person. Don't suddenly open the door and lift me up and shower me with kisses.

"I'll cut back on your work a little, so can you come and check on Cashew Nut from time to time?"

Sen was undeniably shocked at the unexpected request.

"Cashew Nut, this magical beast?"

*might use demonic & magical interchangeably since sometimes the characters mention the word in obvious demeaning tone and sometimes it's neutral like this one.*

"Yeah it seems to like being around you. Originally, I was the only one it met here at the study all day, and it must have felt lonely because I was away preparing for the festival. I think it might have run away in frustration..."

Well, that's not such a bad decision. I'll take it.

The first part of the original revolved around Serena, Belial and Kyle. Right now, since Belial is at the Imperial City, it can't be helped that I can only increase the miracle value by changing Kyle & Serena's fates.

Unfortunately, I have to spend most of the day as a hamster so it's better if they are the ones to approach me.

Sen turned towards where I was again, and I slowly approached the wall that was near her and put my hands up against it. I didn't forget to wink either. I used up all my sincerity for this fanservice.

"... I'll do it!"

Sen called out as if she was possessed.

"I-I mean, I've never taken care of a mouse, no a h-hamster, but I've raised a dog before... I'll study hard to learn how to take care of it! I-"

"It's not just a hamster, it's a magical beast."

Just like this, Sen became my second guardian.

Both of you please get along well. Don't be too obsessed, okay? Don't fight each other for my affection alright?

After Sen left the study, Kyle looked at me in the hamster house for a long time. He looks like he was dying to take me out, but wouldn't dare to do so hastily.

'Were you that shocked to lose me once.'

But I couldn't help it either. If you came back to a strange man on the bed naked, and the hamster was gone, the situation would be a lot worse.

Then a rumor will spread that Your Highness, who is not married, has a taste for men. Of course, I couldn't let that happen.

In any case, it's a difficult situation, I also would not take out a hamster outside of the cage if there's a single chance it might run away again.

Should I pretend to be depressed for a while. No, this isn't my fault, it's all because of this "Summon" skill. Why didn't you explain the details of the skill to me first!

[ (อิ_อี;;;) ]

'Anyways... Tomorrow, it should be fine right?'

The clothes were hidden well, so I'll use "Summon" in that location and take a look at the situation in the castle. It's time for the festival anways so it wouldn't look weird to see a stranger walking around.

'Before that... I'll have to get some pants and shoes.'

If I keep walking barefoot all this time in this freezing weather, all my toes will fall off.

novel ⠀✿⠀ next

[voidofgrace]

So, I've done a couple play-throughs of Baldur’s Gate 3 now, and I have some thoughts regarding companion romances; namely, Astarion and Gale. Warning, this will contain spoilers.

In my first game, I romanced Astarion (because obviously), and I loved the way they handled his traumas, his growth, and the nuances of his character. I could pen an essay, but I doubt there is anything I could say that hasn't been said already.

My second game, I decided to romance Gale. I won't lie, I mostly did it because thanks to the weird way he was bugged, I got a flag for his act 2 romance cut scene in my other game. Out of curiosity, I went through it, and it was honestly so sweet, and kind of sad. After that, I wanted to see how the rest of his romance played out.

And folks, I hate to say it (no I don't), I loved his romance more than Astarion’s. By the end of Astarion’s story, while wonderful, I didn't want to be with him, but just like, protect him and help him live his life and just learn how to be free. The revelation of his headstone, and his age of death. He was so young when he was murdered and turned, and it's so heartbreaking.

Also, the man literally says he really didn't like you at all at first. I mean, fair, but was that really the time to say "I thought you were a total loser, but ily now ❤." Kinda rude, Astarion.

And then there's Gale. The man who loved his Goddess so much, he tried to return a piece of magic to her he thought she had lost. Now don't get me wrong, he did it as much out of hubris as he did love, but in doing so, he wanted to earn a fraction of the love he felt for her in return.

This is a man who was sentenced to death by the woman he loved, as a means to an end that she and the other gods could achieve.

And what does this man do, when thinking about how he was close to the end?

He creates a sky full of stars, a pocket of something beautiful in a place that's cursed. And he tells you he loves you, laments about how he wishes he could do it properly. He gives you a glimpse of his life in Waterdeep, the place where he is happiest, because he wants to share that with you.

It is so wonderfully sweet, but it's also soured by the fact that he believes he has no choice but to carry out Mystra’s will. He believes he needs to be forgiven for his transgression against her, and that forgiveness will only be granted with his death.

Then we get the the start of act 3, and the circus. When you take Gale through the Dryad's test, the questions felt very shallow, especially when compared to the ones given with Astarion. What kind of food is Gale? Really? At least, until the very last question: what is Gale’s greatest flaw. One of the answers you can choose is "He thinks that he, and the world, might be better off if he were dead."

His response? He agrees... As someone who has struggled with mental health and similar thoughts, that one hit home. But then, in the next sentence, he shows that he has hope. Maybe it's not true. Maybe fate can be defied.

Moving on to later in act 3, there was the revelation of the Crown of Karsus, a relic from Karsus' attempt at achieving Godhood that survived. And Gale sees the possibilities that crown opens up. A chance to do what the other gods refused to do - what Mystra refused to do. He saw the chance to save Faerûn, to save his friends, and to save the person he loves (which again, Mystra refused to do, in his eyes), Ao be damned.

But, he also sees it as a way to finally be worthy. Worthy of the love he had been denied by Mystra, deserving of the love you have given him. After all, in the past, it was only ever because of his power that he was ever deemed worthy for anything, and what greater power is there than that of a god?

And that is HEARTBREAKING. The man only thought he was worth anything because of his power, because that had been the only thing people had really cared for about him. And when you tell this man you love him just for him, not because he's powerful or because he could he a god, but because he's a sweet man who loves books, who sometimes writes poetry, who loves curling up by the fire with his cat, a book and a glass of wine, he turns down that power. Show him care and love for who he is, and the man shines.

How could anyone NOT love Gale?

But yeah, Gale is 10/10. And Mystra sucks.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[indigoraysoflight]

Where is Our Daryl?

Before watching TWD, I’d heard of Daryl Dixon and expected some action hero, bad boy, devil-may-care dude who dripped testosterone and acted like a typical macho man protagonist. When I started TWD…

Daryl Dixon Proved Me Wrong in 5 Minutes

Norman Reedus’ performance in “Tell It to The Frogs” was beautiful. He leaned into Daryl’s wounds and portrayed the nuances of his character. Past his angry outburst, his squirrel throwing, and his aggressive demeanour – I saw a wounded man who lost the only person he had left in the world. 

Daryl hid behind his anger to avoid being vulnerable. He had never seen an ounce of kindness in his life and didn’t know what to do with it. He fought the world to survive it and didn't know any other way to live. His heart was hidden behind layers and layers of trauma. But soon, that changed. 

Cherokee Rose

Like so many, I fell in love with Daryl when he gave Carol a Cherokee rose so she wouldn’t lose hope. At that moment, he let his guard down for the first time on the show – and we got to see his heart. Then he continued to search for Sophia even though it almost cost him his life. In Carol’s own words, Daryl did more for Sophia in one day than Ed ever did in his whole life – and she wasn't even his child.

That won my heart (and Carol’s). 

Daryl’s Heart

Norman said in a few interviews that Daryl is a character that wears his heart on his sleeve. Daryl told us – non-verbally AND verbally – how important Carol was to him. Whether it’s standing up to Rick with “That’s her, but that ain’t her,” or threatening Richard with “If anything happens to her, I’ll kill you,” or telling Carol “I love you,” – Daryl wore his heart on his sleeve so everyone knew it belonged to Carol.     

Daryl’s Vulnerability

Daryl learned how to be vulnerable in the soft moments with Carol. Many times we saw him get thrust into moments that forced his vulnerability to show itself (when he found out Merle’s fate in S1 and S3, when Negan paraded him around in Alexandria, when he had his outburst in “Still”, etc). But with Carol, he was different. Daryl consciously and consistently decided to show his raw, vulnerable side to Carol so she could see him – all of him.  

Daryl's Growth

The Daryl I fell in love with grew in the quiet moments when his character made choices to become a better version of himself. Carol helped start that journey by breaking his trauma bond with physical intimacy the moment she kissed his forehead, and showed him kindness in S2. But Daryl made a conscious choice to redefine himself and work on himself.

We saw a side of Daryl that was rooted in his vulnerability to show us his growth in moments like these —

When Daryl held Judith in his arms and fed her formula

When Daryl called Rick out for banishing Carol, and for using Michonne as bait for the Governor

When Daryl encouraged Michonne to stay with them in S4

When Daryl told Joe and his group to take blood from him and leave Rick, Carl and Michonne alone

When Daryl took a self-help book in Atlanta, and killed the walkers, so Carol wouldn’t have to

When Daryl protected Lydia from the people in Alexandria

When Daryl caressed Carol’s face, brushed her tears, made her a bracelet, and held her close in her dark moments

Or the countless other moments that have made a home in my heart.  

Daryl – A Man of Honour

I hope that the S1 of this spinoff honours Daryl’s softness, vulnerability, and integrity. So far, what I’ve heard about S1 gives me pause and makes me wary.

TWD S11 already chipped away at Daryl’s growth. He was in situations where he was tortured, he succumbed to his darkness and made choices that didn’t reflect his character development. In the end, those dark story beats didn’t impact or grow his character in any way, and he went back to the Daryl we know in the final moments of the show.

I hope we don’t get another version of TWD S11 in the S1 of the spinoff. I’m sure we’ll get to see the Daryl we know and love when Carol gets there, because she always brings out the best in him – but I don’t know if I’m willing to hold out hope until then.

I genuinely wish that S1 proves me wrong, but I won't be paying a dime until I know my trust is not misplaced.

TV shows are littered with action heroes, bad boys, toxic alpha male protagonists. But there is only one Daryl Dixon – who broke that generic stereotype because…

That ain’t him.

[huggybearsunshine]

Repeat Until Death

[Takes place during THAT scene of 15x3 The Rupture but with nothing to lose, both men let more off their chests than they planned to.]

“Something went wrong,” Cas explained defensively, “You know this, something always goes wrong.”

“Yeah,” Dean shot back, his anger urging him to wound rather than comfort, “why’s that something always seem to be you?”

His shot hit dead center, he could see it immediately on his face.

“You used to trust me… Give me the benefit of the doubt…” the deep and familiar voice answered back, comforting Dean even as it tore at him, “Now you can barely look at me.”

Dean scoffed in response but even then, felt his eyes unable to lock with Cas’ own.

“I’m… dead to you,” Cas went on, unsurprised, which Dean found painful despite his anger, “You still blame me for Mary.”

It was true. Dean couldn’t deny it. It would be a lie if he did.

“Where are you going?” the hunter’s brows dipped in fear as the other man turned to walk away.

“Jack’s dead,” Cas looked to his side to indicate his attention was on Dean, even if his eyes couldn’t bare to be, “Chuck’s gone,” he continued toward the ground next to him, “You and Sam have each other,” Dean didn’t know where he was going with this, until, “I think it’s time for me to move on.”

No, Dean’s brain seemed to shut down at the thought.

His hand shot out without a moment’s hesitation, gripping one of the trench coat’s sleeves tightly.

“Cas,” the word pushed out harshly on a breath.

“I don’t know what you want, Dean,” the Angel’s arm pulled violently as he whipped around, “You hate me, but you won’t let me go!”

“I don’t… hate you…” Dean found it suddenly hard to speak, “My mother is dead, Cas… Again.”

“I’m sorry, Dean…” it was a quiet and genuine apology but felt placating and useless to Dean’s ears.

“You just had to talk to me,” his heart felt like it was clenching in his chest, tight to the point where he’d almost swear these were his last moments, “If you just would’ve let me in on what was going on, she might still be here!”

“I was scared, Dean!” Cas fought back, though even he knew Dean was right, “I was protecting my family!”

“We used to be your family!” Dean’s eyes were clouding over and he feared he’d lose the battle bubbling in him if he let himself cry at that moment.

But Cas’ voice softened rather than rose, “Those didn’t used to be mutually exclusive things.”

“So you’re just going to leave,” Dean found a different emotion overtaking his rage, a feat he didn’t think possible, “Jack’s gone, Mom’s gone, and you’re going to leave me too… Run away and leave the mess behind.”

“You have no idea what I’m leaving behind, Dean,” Cas’ eyes turned in warning.

“Another thing you won’t tell me,” he seethed, “I’ll add it to the list.”

“You want to know?” a surprising and hateful laugh pushed out of the Angel.

“Why not?” he squared up, “Not like you have anything to lose anymore, right?”

“I guess you’re right…” Cas nodded bitterly, “Okay…” he turned away, collecting his thoughts for what felt like an excruciating amount of time before he turned back, “I’m in love with you… I’m fairly certain you’re aware of that, and even more certain you don’t feel the same, but there it is nonetheless.”

Dean’s brain seemed to still on that statement, eyes looking lost to find where he had misheard him, but he found no word out of place, no phrase misconstrued.

“So, I’m sorry I have failed you so much…” Cas continued, “It was only ever my intention to be there for you in whatever way you would allow,” he swallowed harshly as emotion filled his eyes, “I’m sorry fate provided you with such a poor ally… I will free you of the burden, Dean. Goodbye.”

The door was slamming shut before it all caught up and actually began to clear the fog in Dean’s mind.

“Wait,” he spoke to the empty room until his feet allowed him movement enough to scale the stairs, “Cas, wait!”

He flung the door opened and ran after and in front of him before the Angel could reach the door to the truck he was headed toward.

“Dean, please just let me go,” he huffed, barely containing tears.

Dean didn’t recall him ever crying before, and it struck him as unnatural. Something that shouldn’t be allowed.

“Don’t,” is all his still reeling mind would provide.

“Don’t what?” an agonized confusion played across the other man’s face.

“Don’t go,” he tried again, only slightly improved, “I… I didn’t know.”

“I tried to spare you that knowledge,” Cas spat, attempting to push around him, but Dean knew his moves too well, and he countered successfully until he was in front of him again.

“Why?” the hunter pressed.

“Why?” Cas finally met his eyes, “You want me to explain to you why I didn’t wish for you to reject me?”

He rounded him again, reaching a hand out for the handle on the truck’s door.

“I wouldn’t have,” Dean’s voice was small, smaller than he ever remembered it being.

Cas froze with his hand still extended, now shaking in front of him.

“I wouldn’t have,” Dean repeated, stronger this time.

“What are you talking about?” Cas practically coughed the words out.

“Cas, I don’t know how else to say it,” he looked around him, overwhelmed and terrified.

“You do,” Cas’ voice turned bitter again, “If it’s anything like what I’ve felt for you, you would know.”

“Fuck, Cas, I love you too! Please don’t go!” it burst from him almost painfully.

His hand took action, grabbing at the loose fabric bunched at Cas’ tense shoulder and turning him. Then he pushed until Cas’ back hit the side of the truck.

“Don’t go,” he repeated, stepping into the space he had made clear was too close for them, “Please don’t fucking leave me.”

Cas’ breath caught as the air closed in between them.

“Okay,” it fell out easy as Dean closed in even further.

“Don’t ever leave me again,” his lips ghosted over Cas’ as if he expected to be pushed away.

“I’ve never wanted to be anywhere else,” all of the tension drained from his body as his tears fell free, “But I couldn’t breathe, Dean… with you hating me, I couldn’t bare to see it…”

“I’ve never hated you, Cas,” he rubbed a hand through the Angel’s hair and pressed their bodies tightly together, “I just… don’t know what to do… everything fell apart.”

His own tears freed themselves and a violent sob let out.

His head knocked against Cas’ temple almost harsh enough to bruise.

“She’s gone, they’re gone, and I can’t…” he clung as his knees weakened beneath him.

“I know, Dean,” Cas took hold of him, baring his weight gladly, “I wish I could take it back… I wish I could fix this for you- I’m so sorry.”

The floodgates gave and words refused to form, just guttural and wretching noises as Dean sank and Cas let himself sink with him.

They were falling in the most heartbreaking way imaginable, but that seemed fitting for them.

Nothing had ever come easily or joyously for any of them. So, why would love be different?

——————

@destieliscanon5nov and @destiel-wings my forever muse and much beloved beta reader!

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for “Rushing head-long into the world-endling calamity with no preparation whatsoever because I was curious”?

Long story’s very long, I (???M) woke up a few years ago from what was essentially a 100 year power nap. It turned out that I was a Knight who was supposed to save the world from a calamity that went on a rampage through the kingdom 100 years ago, but I had no knowledge of this at the time ss I had lost all my memories

Shortly after I woke up, I met this guy I can’t remember the name of who I think was supposed to explain that to me, but I didn’t really pay much attention to because he made me run around the area I woke up in entering four shrines and collecting cool powers from them in exchange for a Paraglider that could help me access the rest of the world, and I just kinda zoned out while waiting for him to shut up and give it to me already. It was stupid, I know

But after I got it I did this sick kickflip off the side that of the area that led to me accidentally bouncing off of a dude’s head and gliding all the way to the castle where the big bad guy lived, and then I saw a light coming from the throne room and heard voices and I just had to investigate

But on the way there I noticed this investigation was gonna be more dangerous than I first thought, so I grabbed some weapons and armor and fought my way up to the throne room, where I had to beat up four weird monsters and then entered a fight with the calamity I was meant to save the kingdom from, still not really having any idea what was going on

So I beat him up and this beautiful princess who sounds just like the voice I heard, who we’ll call “Cass”, appears in front of me and thanks me for saving the kingdom, and then asks if I remember her. To which I say no, because I just woke up like 30 minutes ago. She then says that I should’ve reclaimed memories of her on my quest to come save her, and I tell her I didn’t go on a quest. I just saw a weird light coming from the castle and went to investigate. She then begins to freak out about me not doing anything I was supposed to do and asks me why I would do that, and I said I was curious and that got her REALLY mad. And she began going on this rant about how I risked the fate of the entire kingdom, and I was starting to get kinda stressed out so I just blurted out that the day was still saved in spite of everything and that seemed to calm her down. But THEN she mentions this “Master Sword” I was supposed to use to beat up the weird beast thing and freaks out again upon realizing that I don’t have it, but she basically nuked the guy so I highly doubted he was coming back and reassured her of such

Ever since then we’ve been all over the place restoring the kingdom to it’s former glory, and I’ve learned a lot about who I was thanks to a close friend of mine (???F) who we’ll call “P” taking me to a bunch of places captured in my camera roll, as well as Cass giving me some history lessons. Turns out I was really something back in my glory days. I try my best to be more like that for Cass’s sake, but it’s kinda hard with how emotional she gets whenever I get any details of our history wrong. It’s really hard to understand her when she gets like that, but I think I manage well enough

And that brings us to now. Laely we've gotten reports of people falling ill from this mysterious Gloom that’s leaking out of the castle, and when we went to investigate we found the corpse of the guy she nuked a few years back. Except it turns out he wasn’t really dead, and would’ve been if I used the Master Sword

And now everything is messed up. My arm had to be cut off due to a really severe Gloom infection (and was replaced with some other guy’s), and I’ve woken up on this “Great Sky Island”, Cass is nowhere to be found with the only trace of her I have being the device she left for me, and the kingdom is probably in great danger without me there to protect it

I took up an attitude with Cass when she said this was all my fault before she disappeared, but in hindsight she was right. Even if I couldn’t have known what would happen I can’t shake the guilt of knowing how none of this would’ve happened if I just listened to that old man instead of focusing so hard on getting that stupid paraglider. I mean, why else did I think he was forcing me to go around collecting superpowers?

AITA?

[im-poe-dameron]

❛ everyone i’ve cared about has either died of left me. except for you. ❜

❛ you’re the one good thing left in this world. ❜

back at it again, what about these two with my fave flyboy, poe?

HOPE

a/n: i can't even tell you how long this has been sitting in my inbox. but i was watching the force awakens and the poe inspiration came back in full force. so here you go darling! i hope you enjoy poe dameron being the absolute loving character he is. this is not beta read or edited so there will probably be mistakes.

comments, reblogs, and feedback is absolutely welcome!!

summary: you were his light, his life and he...he was your hope.

word count: 1.1k+

pairing: poe dameron x reader

warnings: not explicit, grief, mentions of death, pain, angst, and bit of fluff.

Fate was cruel to those who had light in their souls.

You recall that saying being used a lot to describe the tragedy of your family when you were younger. Fate—the eternal entity that no one could explain. How did it determine where you would wind up in life? How did it control you? If you could go back in time to change things…you would have. You could have given your family a different path altogether. One where they weren’t stuck in a life they didn’t want.

They had traded you as a youngling. Offered you up to the Resistance as a trainee for their war and like a good soldier you went along with it. Promised them that hope would rise again in the galaxy, but you never expected the inevitable to happen.

“Hey Red!” his voice echoed behind you, catching up to where you’d been standing. For a minute you allowed yourself to break down at the news of your family’s end. Just for a second and you’d be back to yourself afterwards.

Eventually you would have to shove any and all emotions out of sight in order to survive whatever came your way. It was harsh to force yourself to forget, but you wouldn’t be able to keep going on if you didn’t. Loss was a part of war. You had to accept that.

You wiped quickly at the fresh tears that sprouted, trying to seem like you were okay when in fact your entire world shattered within seconds. They may have given you up, but in the end it was always your choice to go or stay. For the first time fate had been in your hands instead and you did what you believed to be the best for your family. You left them behind instead. Slapping a false smile on your face you turned to greet Poe, someone you considered a friend—possibly more.

That conclusion you weren’t sure of. Yet.

“Leia wants us to—” He stopped short at the sight of your eyes still glassy from before. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

Being too quick to answer the question is what got you caught. He saw right through you as if you. He always did.

“Red,” he said, moving closer with slow steps.

This was too much. All of it combined would make you crack your exterior shell and you couldn’t do that—not here. Not now. Shutting your eyes you willed the tears away; knowing that if you let him in there would be no getting him out. But maybe…you didn’t want him to leave you. Poe had been your friend for so long it felt wrong to call him something else. Except there he was, pressing his hand to your cheek and wiping away the rogue tear that fell down your face.

He’d been there for you when you first started. Both new pilots trying to navigate a war that used to be your parents, and now he was there as a man standing in front of the girl he loved, hoping she loved him too.

“Tell me,” he whispered. “Why are you crying?”

The words fell from your lips before you could stop them. “My family’s gone,” you choked out and you could hear the crash of your armor fall to the forest floor around you. “They—” Taking in a breath, you tried not to sob. “They were attacked by The First Order. My parents, my little brother—”

He caught you as you fell to his chest, holding you tight as the sobs broke free and nearly shattered his heart. You couldn’t explain anymore to him, but he got the gist of it. Having lost his entire family to this war, he understood what you were going through—how it tore you apart on the inside. It made you debate what you could have done to save them. What would have happened if you were there with them instead of here?

Fate played its cruel hand and tore another piece of light away from you. A realization that broke him. You were part of why he was still alive. You and the light you shed on the world around you, and now…you were a little darker. Lost in the grief that plagued your soul like a sickness.

“What can I do?” he asked, pressing his cheek to your head. “How can I help?”

You shook your head, clutching on his shirt to ground yourself. “You don’t have to do anything.”

“I want to,” he replied. He cupped your cheek, tilting your tear stained face back to finally see you. “I need to.”

“W-why?”

He wiped away the tears, smiling sadly at you in the hopes of easing your spirits. “You’re the one good thing left in this world.” Pressing his forehead to yours, he exhaled softly, listening to your breath hitch in your throat. “You’re the one thing keeping me going Red.”

Though you were swallowed whole by the grief that came with the news of your family, you felt warmth flicker in your chest. A small piece of light to grasp onto in order to pull yourself out. It wouldn’t happen today. Or even tomorrow for that matter. But Poe had helped you in the best way possible. He’d given you hope. Enough to fight against the darkness that wished to drag you underneath the dark waves and find your way back to him.

Opening your eyes you met his and saw the desperation in his face—the need to know what you were thinking. “Everyone I've cared about has either died or left me. Except for you.”

He smiled, nudging his nose against yours. “I’m never leaving you Red.”

“Promise?” you whispered.

Bringing you closer, he pressed his lips to yours. The action wasn’t spurred by anything other than the love he had to offer you in this lifetime. He didn’t expect anything back, nor did he want you to feel like you had to offer him the same amount of affection. But you did. You loved him in the end of all of this. The man who was your light, your hope in this ongoing horror that seemed to never have an end. You kissed him back gently, cupping his cheeks in an attempt to convey that, yes you wanted him, yes you loved him, yes…you were his.

“I promise,” he breathed against your lips, seeing a small bit of light flicker in your eyes.

It wasn’t much—barely there—but it was enough.

While you were his light, his life, the reason he continued this fight. He...he was your hope.