#telling your brain it's a lying liar who lies is hard enough

[just-aake]

Detecting Love

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: A person with the power to detect lies meets the spy who has been trained to lie her entire life.

Warnings: fluff, light angst

Words: 6169

You have the power to detect lies. 

Now, it’s not exactly strong enough to be a hero, but you can honestly say that it has been useful in your life. 

Sure, it gets annoying at times, but one of the many lessons you’ve learned is to ignore minor instances of dishonesty — white lies or small things like that — since it helps reduce unnecessary confusion or chaos with others.

People lie. That is an undeniable fact of life.

And while one may believe that being able to detect such things is great, the truth is there are times when you find yourself resenting your power. 

Because, of course, everyone experiences moments when they wish that someone important to them isn't lying.

Like when your fiancée tells you she loves you.

There wasn’t really a malicious reason behind why a usually affectionate statement suddenly became so hurtful.

There was no cheating.

There was no fighting.

It was just another one of the many lessons you’ve learned in life.

That sometimes…a truth can also become a lie.

It’s just unfortunate that this lesson happened to you in such a way.

These kinds of moments make you wonder if maybe it’s better that people shouldn’t always know when someone is lying to them.

Then they don’t end up alone, drinking at a bar late into the night, trying to numb the pain of a broken heart.

You let out a heavy sigh as you stare at the pair of rings resting on the bar top, remembering the conversation that ended with one of them being returned to you. 

It was a heart-wrenching discussion where your fiancée confessed her steadily changed feelings for you, leading to the resolution to remain friends. 

And while neither of you is completely at fault for why things ended, you can’t help but blame your stupid power for putting you in the situation in the first place. 

You sigh heavily once more before swiftly downing the glass the bartender had set in front of you.

At least your current attempt to drown your sorrow is going well, judging by how the rings start to blur in your vision.

With a sad sigh, you reach for the rings to put them away, but in your clumsy state, one slips from your grasp and tumbles to the floor.

Just as you move to retrieve it, a hand beats you to it. 

Looking up, you find a red-haired stranger standing before you, offering the ring to you with a charming smile.

She looks familiar but the drunken haze in your brain makes it hard for you to remember where you’ve seen her before.

“Here, you dropped this,” she says, her voice low and smooth.

She’s beautiful and her voice sounds perfect. You think to yourself as you take the ring from her.

She chuckles lightly, “Thanks.”

Oh, did you say that out loud? You must be more drunk than you thought.

The woman offers her hand to you in greeting, and with a confident smirk, she introduces herself.

“My name’s Natalie. Natalie Rushman.”

Immediately, a red aura surrounds her, causing you to roll your eyes and return your attention back to the bar. 

“Liar,” you mutter tiredly as you gesture to the bartender to close your tab, not really in the mood to deal with any more lies tonight.

At the corner of your eyes, you see the stranger give you a slightly impressed look.

Ready to leave, you stand up quickly from your seat.

However, the action makes the room suddenly spin in your vision, causing you to stagger backward. 

A hand steadies you, resting gently on your back, and you unconsciously lean back against her surprisingly strong frame for support.

There’s a soft chuckle near your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Let me try again,” she whispers smoothly, guiding you upright and turning you around to face her.

Offering her hand once more, she reintroduces herself.

“My name’s Natasha Romanoff. I’m here to recruit you to work for the Avengers.”

You blink slowly, trying to comprehend her words through your drunken haze. You wonder if the alcohol is affecting you more than you thought when no red aura appears this time at her words.

Chuckling to yourself, you shake your head in disbelief, unfortunately worsening the pounding in your skull. 

Work for the Avengers? That has to be a lie.

Before you can think about it any further, you feel yourself falling once more, unable to remain upright.

Strong arms catch you, and as your consciousness fades, you see a blurry glimpse of her striking green eyes before succumbing to darkness.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

You wake to the pounding in your head and the bright sunlight streaming through your window. Turning away, you groan into your pillow, remembering that your fiancée – your ex-fiancée – would typically close the curtains before leaving for work.

Now that she’s gone, you’re going to have to adjust to living alone once again.

A cup being placed on the nightstand startles you into sitting up, as you turn in surprise to find the beautiful red-haired stranger beside your bed.

“For your headache,” she explains, placing some medicine next to the cup.

Your mouth hangs open as you struggle to remember the events of last night, some of which are honestly a blur. 

You examine yourself, checking your clothes and finding them unchanged from the previous night, and then you scan your surroundings again and realize in relief that nothing was out of place.

Well, except for the presence of this stranger in your home, who’s patiently waiting for you to gather yourself.

Searching through your drunken memories, you think you vaguely remember meeting her last night. She had mentioned her name was — Nata…? 

“Natalie?” you ask with uncertainty.

At her raised brow, you quickly apologize, feeling bad for not remembering correctly.

“I’m sorry, I can’t seem to remember, but did we…did something happen between us last night?” you ask hesitantly.

Her face twists in genuine sadness and disappointment, causing a panic to run through you as you struggle to recall what could’ve possibly happened between the two of you for her to have such an expression.

“I’m hurt,” she finally says, placing a hand on her chest, “And after you even said that it was the best night of your life.”

Seeing the familiar red aura appear around her at her words, you let out a brief sigh of relief before realization sets in, and you give her a hard glare.

“You’re lying.”

Her hurt expression quickly morphs into an impressed look, and you are slightly startled at how effortlessly she was able to shift her emotions. 

The woman straightens her posture and crosses her arms, adopting a commanding stance that seems more likely her typical demeanor.

“So it’s not just luck,” she remarks, studying you curiously. 

At her words, you quickly rise from your bed in confusion.

However, the action causes you to wince in pain at the pounding in your head. 

Shutting your eyes tightly, you hold your head in comfort and lean lightly on the nightstand for support. 

As you do, your hand brushes against yesterday’s newspaper that you had been reading moments before your ex said those fateful three words that led to the heartbreaking conversation between the two of you. 

When the pain subsides, you slowly open your eyes, catching a glimpse of the front page before doing a double take.

The front features an article about the opening of the new Avenger Compound, including a photo capturing the Avenger members posed in front of the completed building. 

What catches you off guard is the uncanny resemblance between one of the Avengers in the picture and the woman standing before you.

Pointing at her in disbelief, you stammer.

“You’re…,” then, gesturing at the newspaper, you continue, “…her?”

She doesn’t respond to your question but instead nods toward your other room, inviting you to follow.

“Let’s talk,” she says, heading toward your door, then gestures at the medicine on your nightstand. “But drink those first.”

After freshening up in your bathroom, you take a moment to stare at your reflection in the mirror, noticing the remnants of last night’s tears in your slightly puffy, red eyes. 

Sighing, you brush away the depressing thoughts of your failed relationship before taking the medicine and exiting your room.

You are greeted by the sight of your unexpected guest comfortably seated at your kitchen counter, flipping through a magazine with casual disinterest.

“You’re Black Widow,” you say confidently this time, positioning yourself on the opposite side of her.

She closes the magazine with a snap, placing it on the table before clasping her hands atop of it and meeting your gaze.

“It’s actually Natasha,” she corrects you, before nodding at you. “And you’re Y/n L/n.”

“How did you…?”

She holds up a wedding invitation draft, displaying you and your fiancée’s names printed in fine lettering. 

Realizing that she must have been snooping around your things, you give her a disapproving glare, snatching the card from her hand and hastily stuffing it into a drawer.

Feeling a mixture of emotions—irritated, sad, hungover—you turn to the fridge, deciding to make breakfast to give yourself some focus. 

After you retrieve the eggs and other ingredients, you heat the stove before glancing at Natasha briefly, asking, “So, what does an Avenger want from me?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see her resting her head against her hand, watching you with interest.

“I told you yesterday,” she replies.

You roll your eyes, giving her a deadpan look, knowing she’s aware that you don’t remember.

“Remind me again.”

Natasha gives you an amused smirk, straightening up in her seat. 

“Alright, I’m here to recruit you, more specifically for a sort of managerial position at the new Avenger Compound.”

Furrowing your brows, you question, “Why me? I don't have experience with that sort of thing.”

“But you can tell when someone is lying, can’t you?”

Pausing briefly in your cooking, you contemplate her words and its possible implications. Not many people know about your ability, and you don’t think you did anything to reveal it to the spy who’s currently staring expectantly at you.

So, in response, you shrug, replying as casually as possible. 

“I guess you could say I’m good at reading people…psychology degree and all.”

A silence ensues, broken only by the sizzling of your cooking, until Natasha finally nods, seemingly accepting your explanation.

You breathe a silent sigh of relief, returning your attention to your current task.

But then she pulls out a folder filled with documents and places it on the counter, causing your nerves to rise again.

“Well, you’ve helped solve hundreds of cases with your interviews of the suspects,” she remarks casually, flipping through the folder before glancing up at you through her lashes. 

“100% accuracy rate in the information that you provided to the detectives,” she continues, nodding at you in acknowledgment. “For a part-time profiler, that’s impressive.”

“Thanks,” you respond with a polite smile, but beneath the surface, a hint of suspicion creeps in as you begin plating the meal you made.

Natasha closes the folder with a definitive snap, making you look at her. 

“You could say it’s almost impossible,” she muses, before a confident smirk forms on her face, and she tilts her head at you with a raised brow in challenge. 

“Unless there’s some way you can guarantee that they’re telling the truth.”

Honestly, you should’ve known better than to think that the experienced spy hadn’t already completed thorough research and investigations into you and your powers before meeting with you.

If anything, this was likely just a test for her to confirm what she already knows about your abilities.

Sliding a plate across the counter to Natasha with a pointed glare, you relent, deciding there’s no point in denying it anymore.

“Fine, what do you know?” 

Instead of responding, Natasha’s gaze lingers on the plate before her, a hint of confusion in her expression. 

Her plate holds a fluffy omelette accompanied by a side of crispy bacon and a slice of golden-brown toasted bread.

As she glances back up at you with a questioning look in her eyes, you take a seat across from her, setting down a similar plate in front of you before also placing a stack of fluffy pancakes at the center.

“What’s this?” she asks, gesturing to the meal.

“Breakfast,” you reply bluntly, taking a bite from your plate.

Natasha raises a brow at you, remarking plainly, “It’s noon.”

“Brunch then,” you correct with a roll of your eyes.

Natasha's lips quirk up in amusement, and she shakes her head.

“Thanks, but I’ve already eaten.” 

The red aura appears around her, and with your mouth full of food, you give her a pointed glare.

“Right,” Natasha says in realization, remembering what you can do. She pulls the plate closer to her with a soft thanks. 

The atmosphere that followed was unusual but surprisingly not awkward. Despite being practically strangers, you find yourself slightly comforted by Natasha’s presence. 

If she wasn’t here, you probably wouldn’t have dragged yourself out of bed today after what happened yesterday.

After a moment of eating, Natasha breaks the silence.

“So, how can you tell when someone’s lying?”

Pausing to contemplate your answer, you wipe your mouth with a napkin before responding. 

“Well, when someone lies, there’s always this rush of chemicals that happens in their bodies,” you explain. “It ends up causing the typical indicators — things like fidgeting, sweating, or tone changes in their voice.”

“I didn’t do any of that, yet you still knew I was lying,” Natasha points out.

“No, you're right,” you admit, nodding. “You’re a perfect liar.”

From what you have seen so far, every expression and comment of hers appears genuine and honest, and if it was anyone else, they’d probably believe anything she says.

However, thanks to your ability, you know better. 

Gesturing at her, you clarify, “You still give off the same chemical reactions though, and I have the ability to see that.”

Natasha leans back in her seat, crossing her arms as she processes your explanation.

“It’s mainly visual then,” she concludes before asking curiously. “You don’t even need to hear what they said to know that they’re lying?” 

You nod, ruefully adding, “Yep, my world’s just filled with people glowing red at random.”

“And how long does this ‘glow’ stay around them?”

“Depends,” you reply with a shrug. “Usually not long, maybe a few seconds.”

Natasha hums in interest, tapping her chin, her brows pinching lightly in thought.

You can’t help but smile amusedly at the sight. 

For a person who has such an intimidating reputation, the spy in front of you right now looks kind of cute rather than scary.

After a moment, you break the silence this time.

“So, what’s the job?” 

Natasha’s eyes focus back on you at your question.

“Nothing too complicated,” she assures. “You’ll be in charge of interviewing the new employee candidates and conducting continuous reviews of the current ones.”

“You mean like screening them?” you ask, tilting your head in confusion, already aware of the rigorous and difficult process required to work at the Avengers buildings. 

“Don’t you guys already do extensive background checks before hiring people? Why do you suddenly need me?”

At your question, a charming smile appears on her face, effortlessly shifting her expression like before, though now you understand she’s just hiding her true feelings about the situation.

“That’s confidential.”

You scoff in disbelief and cross your arms.

“You do know that just makes it harder to trust you, right?”

Natasha mirrors your posture, her pretty grin still in place, masking any other emotions.

“Fair point,” she admits. “But to be honest, you should never put your trust in people like me anyway.”

“People like you?” 

“Spies,” Natasha clarifies as she begins to gather her empty plate and utensils. “Which is one of the types of people you’d be looking out for in this position. Their deception skills would be on a similar level to mine.”

You chuckle at that, causing Natasha to pause in her actions, raising a brow at you in question.

“Sorry, but everyone lies, whether you’re a spy or not,” you tell her, standing and taking the empty plate from her with a small smirk. “You’re just slightly better at it.”

A tiny offended look slips through Natasha’s expression at your little jab, her brow furrowing for a brief second.

Your grin widens at the sight of seeing a glimpse of her real self as you turn to place the dirty dishes in the sink.

Natasha quickly regains her composure, moving around the counter to lean back against the table next to you.

“In any case, the decision is still yours. I’ve already confirmed your abilities. It’s up to you to decide if you want to accept.”

At her words, you pause to consider your options. 

A new job working with the Avengers is a great opportunity, but it would be a significant change in your life. 

Then again, you’re already facing a huge change.

Your eyes unconsciously drift to the drawer next to where Natasha is leaning, where the wedding invitation draft remains, and your face twists in sadness at the memory. 

You guess it wouldn’t hurt to add a career change alongside your new relationship status.

At least this way you can still earn a salary while also distracting yourself from the depressing thoughts of your failed engagement. 

“Okay,” you decide, meeting Natasha’s gaze with a sigh, “I’ll take the job.”

“Great, I knew you would be agreeable,” Natasha remarks, extending her hand to you.

A red aura appears around her, causing you to huff and roll your eyes.

You take her hand in yours, giving her a tiny glare.

“Liar.”

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

“I don’t remember agreeing to this.”

You say that as you dodge another swing from Natasha, ducking under her arm to get behind her, only for her to twist her body around and deliver a kick that you narrowly block with your arms. 

Still, the impact has you stumbling back.

“Really?” Natasha asks with an innocent tone as she circles you. “I thought I mentioned to you that training was a part of your employment.”

A red aura begins to appear around her, but you don’t have time to comment before she swings her leg at you again. 

You catch it against your side with a small grunt of pain.

Having been a profiler for criminal cases before, you do have basic defense training, and you always believed that you could hold your own against most aggressors. 

At least you used to.

This current fight is making you reconsider your skills.

With her off-balance position, you attempt to throw her to the ground, but Natasha swiftly regains her footing, catching herself on her hands and executing a fluid movement to flip upright. She then bends low, sweeping your legs out from under you.

You land on the mat with a groan, feeling the impact reverberate through your body. Another pained breath escapes you as Natasha expertly pins you down.

You catch the faint red aura fading from her before throwing your head back against the mat with an exhausted sigh.

“You’re such a liar,” you breathe out, your voice tinged with both exhaustion and playful accusation. Closing your eyes, you take a moment to catch your breath.

Natasha's laughter fills the air, resonating above you, her amusement infectious and drawing a small grin from you. You peek open your eyes, watching as she disengages from atop you and heads over to her water bottle at the side.

“I’m a spy. It comes with the job,” she says casually, taking a sip.

“Okay, and I’m basically just HR,” you counter, pulling yourself upright into a sitting position. “So how does combat training fit into that?”

Natasha gestures towards you with a sweep of her hand.

“You need to be prepared to defend yourself if you ever expose someone dangerous and find yourself without backup,” she explains.

“That’s unlikely considering I haven’t even encountered anyone suspicious since I started,” you remark with a sigh.

It's been a month already, and you're starting to question if your presence here is even necessary.

Before you can dwell further on your thoughts, the cold touch of a metal water bottle against your cheek startles you.

Recoiling, you look up to see Natasha holding it out to you.

Raising a brow, Natasha waves the bottle lightly in offer.

You snatch the bottle from her with a tiny glare, but she only smirks in response.

Apart from the new job, the other surprising addition to your life is your budding friendship with the Avenger. 

After the whole recruiting ordeal, you honestly expected to only have passing encounters with her at the compound.

However, to your surprise, on your first day here, Natasha was the one who volunteered to give you a tour of the place, and in the days that followed, the two of you would often share coffee and chat before you had to head off to your respective jobs.

Those regular interactions with her also earned you a fearsome reputation among the other workers, which actually works out in your favor since they’re already nervous by the time you call them in for a review. This way they are more likely to slip up and reveal anything they may be hiding.

But, like you said, you haven’t found anything substantial yet.

With a heavy sigh, you pull your knees to your chest, resting your forehead against them, feeling the weight of failure bearing down on you.

Then you hear Natasha plop down beside you.

“Back when we met, you asked me why we needed you,” she begins.

Curious at her words, you turn your head slightly to glance at her, waiting for her explanation.

Natasha leans back on her hands, her gaze fixed on the ceiling as she continues to speak.

“A couple of months ago, our surveillance revealed that someone within the compound staff was plotting an attack during the opening ceremony of the new building. However, we couldn’t confirm who it was without risking exposing that we knew of their plan."

Your eyes widen in confusion at the revelation. From what you remember, the opening ceremony was a success. There hadn’t been any news of an attack that day.

“But you caught them, right?” you inquire.

“No,” Natasha responds, shaking her head before meeting your gaze. “You did.”

Surprised, you straighten up, giving her a questioning look.

Natasha offers a small smile, elaborating, “You had recently interviewed him as a suspect for another case, and in your notes, you labeled him as dangerous and untrustworthy, despite everything about him proving otherwise.”

“And you believed me?” you ask incredulously.

Natasha shrugs, “Well, I had no other leads at the time anyway.”

You scoff in exasperation at her teasing, playfully pushing her away.

She chuckles softly before adopting a more serious expression.

“Trust in your abilities, Y/n,” Natasha says with a genuine tone. “If it’s you, not finding anyone suspicious is a good thing.”

You watch her closely, waiting for the red aura to appear.

But as a couple of seconds pass and nothing changes, you tuck your forehead back against your knees, this time to hide the smile threatening to spread across your face.

“Alright, break’s over,” Natasha announces, giving your back an encouraging pat. “Let’s go again.”

You groan in reluctance, remaining in your curled-up position.

“Come on,” Natasha urges, her tone coaxing. “I’ll go easy on you this time.”

You don’t even need to look up to know the red aura is surrounding her.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

“What’s this?”

Natasha's voice draws your attention away from the task of pouring cooked popcorn into a bowl.

She's sitting on your sofa, examining a small, elegant card that you had accidentally left on the table.

Widening your eyes in realization of what she’s found, you hurry over to her, but her narrowed eyes tell you that she has already read the names on the card.

“She’s inviting you to her wedding?” Natasha exclaims, disbelief coloring her tone. “It’s only been a year since your breakup, and now she’s already getting married?!”

Sighing in disappointment, you had hoped to keep this information from Natasha, who developed a strong dislike for your ex after you shared the details of your breakup during one of your girls' nights.

Placing the bowl of popcorn on the table, you take the invitation from her hand and head to the kitchen, intending to tuck it away in a drawer. 

As you slide it open, you catch the sight of the old wedding draft buried at the bottom, which causes a tiny pang of sadness in your chest at the memory of that time, of how everything changed so suddenly.

You can't help but wonder how your life might have unfolded if your engagement hadn't ended.

Would you still have accepted Natasha's offer if you hadn't been seeking a distraction from your failed relationship? 

“You’re not thinking about going, are you?” Natasha's voice interrupts your thoughts. 

Glancing up, you notice a peculiar look in her eyes, though it quickly shifts to a neutral expression at your gaze.

After a whole year of spending time together, you could tell underneath her impassive expression that she was upset about something; though, you figured it was just outrage at the situation.

Tossing the invitation into the drawer and shutting it, you offer her a small reassuring smile before returning to your seat beside her to start the movie.

“No, of course not,” you tell her.

As the opening scenes play, you maintain a normal, nonchalant expression, aware of Natasha's gaze still lingering on you even as the red aura fades from around your body.

After a while, Natasha huffs in disbelief before finally settling into the sofa, pulling the bowl of popcorn into her lap.

“You better be sharing that, Romanoff,” you tease, your eyes fixed on the screen.

Natasha scoffs before tossing a piece of popcorn at you.

“Of course, I will.”

Just as you're about to turn your head to look at her and confirm her honesty, she swiftly shoves a cushion pillow to the side of your face, blocking your view.

After a few seconds, she releases it, fluffing the cushion casually before leaning her head against your shoulder and tossing another piece of popcorn into her mouth.

You chuckle at her antics, amused by her playful behavior, before returning your attention to the screen.

A few days later, you find yourself standing on the outskirts of the wedding area, observing as servers and workers hustle to complete the finishing touches.

A sad, bittersweet expression tugs at your lips as you recognize familiar details chosen by your ex, mingled with hints of a stranger’s preferences in the decorations.

To be honest, you don’t intend to stay for the wedding. You're just here to confirm something for yourself.

Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes, conjuring your ex’s face in your mind, and whisper to yourself. 

“I’m in love with her…”

Opening your eyes, you exhale slowly, a content smile on your lips as you notice the red aura surrounding your skin. It's a relief to be able to find closure regarding your feelings for your ex.

“You know, I don’t need powers to know you were lying,” a voice remarks from behind.

Startled, you turn to find Natasha approaching.

She stops beside you, her gaze fixed at the scene ahead as she accuses, “Saying that you weren’t going to come here.”

You look at her briefly before returning your attention to the field.

“I got curious about something,” you admit. “Figured that this was one way to confirm it.”

Excited and happy chatter fills the air as your ex appears, surrounded by friends and family.

Suddenly, thoughts of what-ifs from the other night resurface, prompting you to ask out loud unconsciously before you can stop yourself.

“Do you think I should’ve just pretended that she was telling the truth at that time — when she said she loved me?” you ask Natasha. “Maybe it might’ve worked out between us if I just kept my mouth shut.”

There’s a beat of silence before Natasha finally responds, her tone tinged with wistfulness.

“From my experience,” she begins, “I can tell you that living a lie would not make you happy…no matter how much you wish for it to be true.”

You chuckle lightly, “You’re probably right.”

“Of course I am,” Natasha says confidently.

A comfortable silence falls between you as you both observe the preparations from a distance.

“She is a fool for letting you go, though,” Natasha suddenly adds, her tone casual.

You laugh softly, gently chiding her, “You can’t call the bride that on her wedding day.”

“Alright then,” Natasha concedes, turning to you. “You’re an even bigger fool for coming here by yourself.”

She returns her gaze to the field, muttering under her breath with a hint of irritation, “…still visiting the one who broke your heart.”

Amused, you tilt your head to catch her eyes, chuckling at her words, as you tease, “You know, it almost sounds like you’re jealous.”

When Natasha doesn’t respond or look at you, you raise a brow in surprise and poke her side. 

“Wait, seriously, are you jealous?”

She swats your hand away.

“Stop that,” Natasha reprimands, before gritting out, “I’m not jealous!”

A small grin forms on your face as you notice the red aura appear, causing Natasha to roll her eyes and walk away.

“I’m leaving,” she declares firmly.

“Aww, come on, Natasha,” you call as you trail behind her.

Glancing back at you and seeing your pleased expression, she points at you in warning.

“That smile better be off your face by the time I pull up, or else you’re walking home,” she states before continuing on her way.

Watching her go with a fond smile, you find yourself softly repeating the words.

“I’m in love with her.”

Looking down, your smile widens when you don’t see the red aura appear, confirming what you already knew about your feelings for the red-haired spy.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

As you sit in your office at the Avenger compound, you feel a sense of fatigue wash over you at your busy schedule of back-to-back interviews.

Across from you, the final candidate squirms in her seat, clearly nervous under your scrutinizing gaze. 

A chill sweeps through the room, courtesy of the cold blast of air from the AC, and you can't help but regret your decision to have it set so cold, a choice originally intended to maintain an intimidating atmosphere during interviews. 

With a sigh, you reluctantly pull your hands from the cozy warmth of your hoodie pocket and turn to the next page of questions.

"Let's talk about handling confidential information," you begin, your voice cutting through the tension in the room. "Can you share a time when you had to ensure the secure handling of sensitive data?"

The candidate responds with some slight hesitation, but you sense it’s more from her nerves than any dishonesty, so you continue, moving on to the remaining questions.

Luckily, the rest of the interview goes by quickly and smoothly with her answering the other questions without any problems.

However, now comes the final question of the interview.

“Among the Avengers, who do you consider to be the hottest?”

Clearly caught off-guard, she stumbles over her words, “W-what?” 

Maintaining your serious demeanor, you repeat the question.

“Who do you believe is the hottest Avenger?”

After a moment's pause, she softly answers, “Black Widow..."

Setting your clipboard down, you extend your hand.

"Thank you for coming. It was nice meeting you," you say, signaling the end of the interview.

As she thanks you and leaves, you flip to the last paper on your clipboard, revealing a sheet with tick marks beside the names of your Avenger friends.

With an amused smile, you add another mark at the end of Natasha’s already leading line.

“I don’t think that last question was approved by Steve,” a voice accuses from the doorway.

Glancing up, you see Natasha leaning against the frame, her arms folded.

You shrug in response, “Makes it more interesting though.”

Natasha hums curiously before moving to your side, perching on the edge of your desk. Her narrowed eyes fix on you.

“Is that my hoodie?” she asks in suspicion as she tugs at your sleeve.

“Maybe,” you reply, hastily pulling the hood over your head to conceal your guilty eyes.

Natasha had left the piece of clothing at your place after her last visit, and given the chilly room, borrowing it seemed harmless enough.

“Don’t you have a briefing to get to?” you deflect, attempting to change the subject.

Natasha huffs knowingly before responding, "I had some spare time, so I came to bother you."

"I’m honored," you quip sarcastically, though inwardly your heart warmed at the fact that she thought of you.

Natasha chuckles lightly, then gestures towards your clipboard.

"Ask me some questions," she prompts, her tone playful yet eager.

Deciding to indulge her, you reach for your clipboard and adopt a serious demeanor.

“Name?” you begin.

Natasha shoots you a deadpan look, prompting you to show her the document with the question written on it.

“If they lie about their name, then that’s a red flag already,” you defend, giving her a pointed look.

“Natalie,” you mock.

Natasha chuckles, shaking her head at the memory before extending her hand.

“It’s actually Natasha,” she corrects, playing along.

Skipping past the other general questions, you delve into more targeted inquiries related to threat assessment.

“Have you ever been associated with any extremist or radical groups or organizations?” you ask.

“If you consider working undercover to gain intel on them, then yes,” Natasha responds without hesitation.

“Have you ever participated or been involved in any violent behavior where someone was hurt?”

This one makes her pause for a moment before she finally admits softly, "…yes."

As the questioning continues, Natasha's playful demeanor gradually fades, replaced by a rueful tone.

By the time you reach the final question, she places her hand on your clipboard, gently setting it down on the desk.

"Maybe these questions aren’t meant for people like me," she says sadly, her tone filled with regret.

Observing her disappointed expression, you scoot closer and rest your hand on hers to draw her attention.

“Do you still want to hear my final assessment?” you ask gently.

After a contemplative pause, Natasha nods, curiosity evident in her eyes as she gestures for you to continue.

“Well, based on your answers,” you say with a dramatic pause, flipping through the papers before shaking your head firmly.

“Absolutely not. Extremely dangerous. Definitely a high-risk candidate.”

Natasha huffs in disbelief at your teasing and gives you a playful push. As your laughter subsides, you soften your tone, meeting her gaze sincerely.

“But…I’d trust you,” you admit genuinely.

Natasha's eyes widen slightly before she averts her gaze, clearing her throat. Her fingers toy with the clipboard, flipping to the last page and seeing the score sheet, before chuckling in amusement.

Turning back to you, she tilts her head with a raised brow.

“I don’t get the special question?” she asks.

You take the clipboard from her, offering a knowing look as you begin to organize the documents on your desk.

“I think we both already know your answer to that question,” you reply.

“Then ask me another,” Natasha insists.

Her request makes you pause as you ponder what to ask. Only one thing comes to mind, the question you’ve been hesitating to ask her for a long time.

Meeting her expectant gaze, you find yourself wanting to know the answer, despite the fear in your mind at the possibility of causing another big change in your life again.

Summoning your courage, you face her directly.

“Would you…,” you start, faltering momentarily before gathering yourself with a deep breath.

“...would you say ‘yes’ if I asked you out on a date tonight?”

There's a moment of silence, and just as you consider retracting the question, Natasha reaches out and adjusts the hood atop your head.

Perplexed by her action, you watch her suspiciously. Then, in one swift motion, she pulls the hood down over your eyes, obscuring your vision.

“No,” her voice responds to your question.

Hearing her stand, you quickly remove the hood to see Natasha already making her way out of the door, but before she disappears from your view, you catch the red aura surrounding her slowly fading away.

As an excited smile spreads across your face at the revelation of her true answer, your phone on the desk pings with a new message. Glancing at the screen, you see a text from Natasha.

I’ll pick you up tonight. 

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

a/n: Thank you for reading! I know I said I was going to take a little break, but I had some time so I ended up finishing this and decided to post it now instead of later.

[fushiguroll]

“I SHOULD’VE NEVER LET YOU GO”

⇢ kuroo tetsuro, akaashi keiji, oikawa toru, suna rintaro

synopsis: the one in which he never thought he’d regret breaking up with you 

ʚɞ KUROO Tetsuro | hates you so, so much. the barista’s smile was genuine when she met his eyes and he watched the slightest hint of red blossom on her cheeks when their fingers met as he reached for his coffee. “thanks”, it sounded hollow, even to him. kuroo hates the way his brain automatically compares your smile to another woman’s, the instant playback of you calling “tetsu!” with that damn smile of yours. It was like his body was punishing him for letting you go. he sips on his coffee and mentally kicks himself as his tongue burns at the contact of the hot liquid. he could almost hear your laughter as you (would probably) say “babe, what’d I tell you? you gotta blow on it before you drink.” kuroo closes his eyes, hating you for etching yourself into his heart. but in all honestly, he doesn’t hate you. no, kuroo has never been a good liar. he could never hate you because he loves you, maybe a little too much.

ʚɞ AKAASHI Keiji | can’t read his favorite books anymore. even when he’s slipped into his favorite pajama, the pillows propped up just right, and the bed the most comfortable place to be in right now, akaashi cannot focus on the words in front of him. you’re gone. why wouldn’t you after catching his lips on another? he should’ve begged you to stay instead of standing silently on the side as you packed away remnants of you. you’re gone, but he still feels you lying on his chest as he reads out loud. he sees the way you wrinkle your nose in confusion and ask “why would Daisy hurt Gatsby like that?” akaashi realizes as long as you continue to haunt him, he’ll probably never be able to read again.

ʚɞ OIKAWA Toru | never thought he’d find it so hard to move on after you’re gone. the last straw came when he leaned down and allowed one of his fangirls to kiss him on the cheek, right in front of you. when you confronted him afterwards, asking if he even loves and respects you, oikawa had no answer. It was just fan service, why was that so hard for you to understand? he was the one who brought up the breakup, his fans are important to him. without them, he’d be nothing. so you gave him the freedom he desperately sought after. except after you’re gone, oikawa felt more enslaved than ever. enslaved by the memories of you. the way you slip your hand into his, the sneaky kisses between classes, the random back hugs, your laughter, your eyes, your hair. oikawa sits up in bed, surprised at the wetness on his cheeks and realizes maybe he did love you after all.  

ʚɞ SUNA Rintaro | thought letting you go would be the best decision for him, both life and career-wise. he’s busy, especially as the season got aggressively intense. he knows you mean well, but the little texts asking if he’s eaten or if he’s wearing enough became a burden to him. suna just doesn’t love you the way he did back in high school. somewhere along the line, he changed but you stayed the same. and to put it as simply as he can, suna rintaro just doesn’t need you anymore. he thought you’d put up more of a fight,  but you simply nodded your head and gave him a little hug. suna would be lying if he didn’t feel a weight lifted off his chest the moment you closed the door behind you. yet, as he lies in bed, the lips of a new lover trailing slowly down his neck, he was surprised by the feeling of a new weight on his chest. as she straddles him, he realizes it was the weight of your absence. he closes his eyes, looks like suna rintaro needed you all along.

reblogs are wildly appreciated <3

main masterlist | haikyū masterlist

[boyfhee]

🗗 THE REVENGE PACT | 17. did you have fun

w. angst ( 1k ) 2 screenshots at the end

heeseung doesn’t know what to say.

there’s a shift in the air, his eyes are fixed on your impassive ones while his mind shuffles through a hundred different excuses and explanations as to why he’s here, and why you’re here. yet amidst a million thoughts running through his head, only your name manages to slip off his tongue.

“so, you’re ethan lee.” you whisper, a faint chuckle rolling off your lips. you would be lying if you say you didn’t see this coming. “i’ll be damned—”

“wait, yn. you’re getting it wrong—”

“really?” you cut him off, a hint of disbelief evident in your voice. you don’t know why you’re surprised, honestly, neither do you know why you’re here, waiting for an explanation. maybe, you just hope that thing isn’t true. “then why are you here? you told me you were going to work.”

“well, you see—” and you wait for him to continue. heeseung doesn’t know how to explain. well, he can’t tell you he’s a con artist, can he? and even if he does, how would you feel about it? he doesn’t know why he cares about your opinion in the first place. it’s not like you’ll be the first person to know about his job. there are people who know, some pay attention while some don’t. others criticise him, and if you choose to report him to the police, it wouldn’t be the first time either. it’s just that he's extremely lucky that he gets probation or one of his ‘work-mates’ bail him out within hours, before the news reaches his parents.

“this is your work? help me, then. i paid to have this spirit exorcised, you know. oh wait—” another pause. the thought of you already knowing the truth crosses heeseung’s mind. “didn’t you tell me that there’s no such spirit?”

honestly, this whole story about spirits makes you feel stupider than you already are. you don’t want to bring it up— you had to, because there’s no other way around it. you don't care if he thinks you're stupid for believing his words, or his friend's— whatever the name was.

“yeah, and i can explain. but first of all, i really didn’t know it was you, i swear—”

“well, you should’ve connected the dots, then! aren’t you smart, lee heeseung?” you notice his gaze flutter as you raise your voice, attracting a few stray eyes towards you in process. though, you pay them no mind. “you’re smart enough to deceive your mother and make her think that you’re actually working when in reality you’re just a fucking liar.”

not a word escapes his mouth after that. it didn’t affect him when people called him a liar. in fact, being a liar didn’t make him special, for everyone lies at least once in their life, no matter how innocent or vicious that lie is. so, lying to the liars themselves didn’t seem wrong to him, not at all, but hearing it from you shattered something inside him. perhaps, it’s because he hoped you didn’t know the truth, yet; or maybe that you’d hear him out even after everything. but if he’s being honest to himself, he wouldn’t wait for an explanation either if he was in your shoes.

“was it fun watching me make a fool of myself?” you finally mumble, asking a seemingly obvious question. you didn’t dare look at him— you couldn’t— it was hard to believe this is the same lee heeseung who gave you butterflies and made it hard for you to fall asleep, intoxicating your brain with thoughts about him. you let yourself sink in silence, pretending to wait for an answer when you know he doesn’t have one.

maybe, it is your fault for falling for such a scheme even after multiple warnings from your friends, but what you regret the most is trusting heeseung, with you and your heart.

“yn, remember i said there’s no spirit, right?” he begins, hoping to convince you but you as you look at him with keen eyes to hear his new excuse. “why would i deny it if actually wanted money from you? i didn’t know the customer sunghoon had been attending would be you, really.”

“i don’t know, maybe it’s another one of your schemes, like reverse psychology?” you’re not sure if you’re making sense anymore, but neither does this situation. no matter how you look at it, nothing ever made you think that heeseung would do this to you. “bet you didn’t think it would work but it did, because i’m stupid, aren’t i?”

his posture stiffens. “yn,”

“i’ll move out soon,” you stand up, opening the chats to text something as heeseung notices, but that's the least of his concerns at the moment. “oh, and if you’re wondering why i didn’t pay the rent if i could pay for this shit you pulled, it was the money i saved up for a student program in case i don't get the scholarship.”

“yn, listen to me—”

“it should be enough for two months. i’ll pay for the previous and this month soon.” he follows you outside the cafe, knowing that his actions are only pushing you away from him, but the last thing heeseung wants is for you to misunderstand the whole situation. “have fun,”

“can you please let me explain—”

“no, i don’t think i can afford to fall for another one of your lies.” you cut him off, taking your words quite literally because you meant it. “you’re a damn good liar, lee.”

PREV | NEXT | MASTERLIST

PRECIS. lee heeseung is the handsome yet good for nothing mysterious boy living a floor below you, who dropped out of college and is living quite a lavish life. when you get fired from your job, ending up struggling to make your ends meet and failing to pay the rent, heeseung offers you rather an eccentric proposal : pay the rent or be his girlfriend.

NOTE. this took so long im sorry :(

taglist in the rbs. ( open )

[quickhacked]

pick one emoji u really want to answer from each section, for vitali and/or matvey teehee <3 👀

oc asks!

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

matvey is a very strategic liar which makes it very difficult to tell when he's lying. he's good at giving structured answers to questions in general and his lies follow the exact same structure as his truths, and he usually delivers it in the same monotone voice as he always does. the only way you would be able to tell he's lying is if you know him well enough to know all of his other mannerisms; body language, how he usually moves his hands, etc. when he's lying, he will be a LOT more static than when he's not, because he's a lot more focused on what he's saying than usual

vitali is very similar to his father in that case but rather than outright lying, he prefers to talk around the truth. where matvey starts a chain of lies to dig himself deeper and deeper into his own grave, vitali likes to keep his options open and talks around the truth as best as he can as to not make things worse for himself- or others, for that matter. if he does have to lie, it's hard to tell on a surface level, but also he will give very short and straightforward answers without a lot of elaborating unless asked; he usually doesn't have much to elaborate with which is why he tries to avoid it if possible, whereas when he's not lying he likes to explain himself to people so they understand his perspective better

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE - do they prefer hot or cold drinks? what is their favourite drink?

matvey prefers cold drinks! he likes alcohol a lot unfortunately :/ became reliant on it for a while when he still worked at arasaka and then even more after he got fired, but nowadays only drinks it on special occasions- but still likes it more than most other drinks. he prefers to drink water rather than any sort of flavored drink or soda

vitali doesn't necessarily prefer hot drinks in general but he does like to drink coffee. generally sticks to decaf because it's better for him but especially on long days he needs the caffeine to get through it without passing out or losing his marbles. being a fixer can be very stressful sometimes

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

matvey is vitali's father and that's basically the whole starting point for him :^) i initially wanted to just create a guy who is so so sucks and who would make a good antagonist in a possible story for vitali and i was like. why not let it be his own father. but then i got attached to him and also started projecting a lot more from my own family on vitali's family so he's a bit less sucks now

vitali was supposed to be my corpo v! i initially wanted to make a v for every separate lifepath but that eventually got boring to me. also because i just couldn't create a nomad v :( my brain didn't want to stick with a design </3 so then vitali became a fixer instead! i did keep the frankfurt incident as part of his backstory but it's merged with the events of my own canon at this point so it's a lot more complicated than it all is in game but that's where all of the fun is at >:^)

🏊 SWIMMING - can they swim? or are they afraid of water? how well do they swim? how do they feel about swimming in the ocean?

matvey can swim but he really does not want to do that. it's been years since he's last had to swim and there's a big chance he would just drown anyway because of the time that has passed and also because he's an old man. he is terrified of the ocean and would rather die than swim in there

vitali can swim too but also hasn't done it in a while and he too would like to just not do it if he still has a choice. the ocean does freak him out a little and he's also been having recurring nightmares about drowning, so he wouldn't necessarily like swimming in the ocean but also if he has to he will do it. but preferably not

📣 MEGAPHONE - how loud are they? what do they speak like? got a voice claim?

matvey has a very controlled and low voice naturally, but because of his corpo history he knows that he sometimes talks too quiet for people to hear him so he has a more "performative" voice i guess?? that's at a bit louder volume. he doesn't yell a lot at all and doesn't like having to do so. he doesn't have a very heavy accent but it's also not subtle, it's woven into his speech nicely where you can clearly hear he's not american but you would need to pay close attention to fully pick up on What kind of accent it is if that makes sense. back at arasaka he mostly spoke with a fake american accent

vitali has a pretty similar voice but a lot more rough and there's a sharper edge to it. he doesn't speak as quiet as his father and tends to lean a bit more to the louder side, but that's mostly due to the fact 1) he's hard of hearing and 2) he tends to find himself in environments that require him to talk a little louder for people to hear him. his accent is heavier than his father's and despite him also having used a fake american accent at arasaka, he's had to do it for way less time so it didn't get baked into his regular speech at all. he struggles pronouncing some words and because of that tends to talk a bit slow to enunciate properly so people understand what he's trying to say; when he's more comfortable around the people he's with he will do that less, causing some words to get strung together a lot more but if you've known him for a while you get used to it :^)

🚲 BICYCLE - can they ride a bike? what do they remember from learning to ride a bicycle?

matvey can NOT ride a bicycle for his life. he would eat shit and die. and i think that's funny and that's all i have to say on it

vitali can in fact ride a bike because mikhail taught him to do that when they were young :^) he mostly remembers riding directly into a parked car and breaking one of its taillights that way LMAO

🌪️ TORNADO - what is the biggest change you've ever made to them? how have they changed from their original version?

matvey was supposed to die at first. the original idea for the broker arc was that vitali would end up having to kill his own father but i eventually decided that it's entirely against vitali's character to have him do that so then i decided that matvey gets to live :^) and THEN i decided that he's going to have a divorce with nadya and then he's having a slow burn enemies to lovers fake dating situation going on with viktor. the demons he was fighting were bisexuality all along

vitali was supposed to be a very serious corpo guy at first who is a very strict fixer with very high-end gigs only, for the best of the best mercs. i changed this to make him a more down to earth kinda guy because his family might be like what i first wanted him to be, but he's NOTHING like that; he wants to help people, he cares for his mercs, he keeps them safe both on gigs as well as outside all of that and at the end of the day he's just some guy and that's what makes him so interesting to me. and it just is a lot more fun to me than what i initially had in mind

💖 SPARKLING HEART - are they a subtle or a showy lover?

matvey is a subtle lover but mostly because of nadya. when they got together, their parents did not agree at all and they had to put on a performance for them to be allowed to be together which kinda just stuck to the rest of their relationship as well. nadya no longer liked being physically close to her husband and didn't allow him to love her in the way he had once loved her; because of that, he's very hesitant with showing any kind of affection and he's a lot more reserved than he once used to be

vitali is also pretty reserved but that's mainly because he does separate his professional and his personal life when on the workfloor. he will occasionally hold vincent's waist if they're standing beside each other or kiss his cheek or hold his hand while they walk (or let vincent hold on to his arm; that's usually what they do) but he prefers to do stuff like that when they're not at work or just simply chilling at home :^) he can get VERY clingy when he's sleepy and comfy at home

[brionnne]

Liar's Den WIP [Working Title, Unfinished]

Almost a solid year (Mar 23rd, 2022) since I started writing and editing this thing, and I planned / plan (?) to do more with it, but I'm honestly not quite sure where to go, and in a way, I honestly think it works alright as a standalone, so I'm just going to throw it out there to show that I do, in fact, write. I had fun writing it, at least, and I hope to make something more of it someday, but...?

Wariness is her natural state. Calculating. Observant. Perceptive. Even then, it isn’t very hard to notice that, out of all the seven deadly sins, she had only ever seen six. No mention of Sloth, of Belphegor, was made—seemingly a taboo topic among the brothers. No wonder why, Morgana thinks now. 

“Why are you trying to trick me? I have eyes, you know.” Her expression turns into a bemused smile. “A brain? I may be a mere human,” she makes mystical motions with her fingers, eyes wide and dramatic, before she drops the act with a scoff, “but I know exactly who you are.” Her eyes flicker towards his fingers, blue-tipped nails, which tighten on the door. Another giveaway, Ana observes. She knows by now that Asmo paints all of their nails, but his are chipping; faded. How long has he been here? As long as I have? Longer? She doesn’t ask him. “I’ve seen your portrait, you know? Even if I hadn’t, your fingernails are painted. That might be fine by itself, but your eyes?” She tilts her head, “Strange color for a human. What is that? Purple, right?” Related to Beel? Internally, she rolls her eyes. Obviously.

His hands slacken. He shrugs, trying to appear lax— a nice imitation, or it would be, except the tightness has moved up. The stiffness of his shoulders makes the action slightly less loose than it should be. Interesting, her eyes narrow. He doesn’t like being called out on this. Why, though?

“You caught me,” he raises his hands in a gesture reminiscent of Asmo. It’s sort of … cute, on him. Intentional? Questions she can’t answer yet run rampant. There’s not enough information to infer much of anything, as frustrating as that is—very. As for his lies, she thinks there could be a logical reason behind them, and while his state of captivity makes him look like a victim in some form, his deception speaks against that. Regardless of logic, the hasty fabrication, the stiffness of his fingers and shoulders, makes her have doubts. He’s certainly capricious—just listen to how even toned he sounds now, compared to his earlier panic—but to what extent? Perhaps further sarcasm would be … unwise.

Morgana looks back up, “So what is it that you want, then, if you were desperate enough to lie for it?” She frowns, gesturing to the door that holds him. “Freedom, I assume?”

For the first time, she sees something like a spark in him. Energy that wasn’t there before. 

“I thought I might get your help,” he says, “if I pretended to be human.” She can’t tell whether this is duplicitous or not. Even a close inspection shows no obvious signs. Perhaps he’s just that good of a liar. Perhaps he isn’t lying at all. It could be both. Insertions of truth, twisted to fit one's liking, have always made lying easier. Harder to detect by a casual, or even careful, viewer. She’s only seen a single tell, and even then, being stiff doesn’t always indicate a lie — it can be normal tensity; discomfort. Plenty of things that make her slow to place any defining bets. He’s shown her basically nothing. 

She had never really given further thought to the implications of Sloth on behavior. Acedia, she remembers, is apathetic. Listless. Lack of care. Her eyes track to his hair — messy; bedhead — to his clothes. They’re barely resting on his frame, and not in the sense of weight, but rather, the jacket he wears is nearly falling off. His shirt — plain, white — is a bit more kempt, but only just. It lifts at his midriff, revealing an un-tied pair of sweatpants that dip low on his hips. He wears no shoes at all, but when she peers in, she can see a pair of long boots sitting in the corner. Effortless. Slip-on. Morgana’s eyes find her own slippers, and she shrugs. Understandable, she thinks. Nice, too. The room itself reflects his state of dress. Untidy. Lacking organization. Her gaze falls onto Belphegor again. He seems, as expected, unbothered. It isn’t like she can criticize that; in fact, it appears they share these traits in common. That being said … 

This … probably shouldn’t bother me as much as it does. Her brow furrows. Regardless, the feeling doesn’t leave. It isn’t very often that she can’t get a good read on someone. Being out of her element like that makes her feel uncomfortable. Most people—even the other demon brothers—are easy enough to read at the best of times. Belphegor …isn’t. 

(Asmo tells her that she isn’t, either. Is that what dealing with me feels like to him? Eugh.)

“I can’t break the seal on this …door,” he admits, scowling. Surprisingly expressive, his hands flutter before it. That, at least, is truthful. There’s no hesitation in his words, no tightness of his frame. His emotions are visible, but not overdone.

“Frankly,” she says, unable to tamp down her bitterness, “I don’t know what you expect me to do about that. I have no magic.” This may not endear him to her, but it’s true. She’s been painfully aware of her status since being deposited here. Even with potential, the understanding of theory, all that becomes useless when she can’t even apply it.

“That may be true, but you have pacts.”

Morgana raises her eyebrows. “And you know about this …how?” 

“Don’t get so worked up,” he huffs, rolling his eyes. “Lucifer told me.”

She snorts. He is cute. Sort of. Shakes her head. “Humor me, then. If I were to free you,” Ana posits, “what is it that I would have to do?”

“If you made a pact with all of my brothers, that would be enough to break the seal.”

She hums. “What do I get out of this deal— I mean, why should I?” It sounds cruel. He could be innocent, she reminds herself. But it’s a genuine enough question, really. Why risk herself? Mammon’s pact was pure luck, and Levi's was borne of some uncanny trickery. Fooled into believing she had won when she hadn’t. He’d been too worked up to realize, and she was, of course, in no hurry to correct him. She was weak here; having something concrete would be protection. “I don’t even know you.”

“Are you—?” His eyes flash. She has to cradle her face to hide the smile this brings. Thumb and forefinger resting on her cheeks. Her hand; a curtain. Neither his apparent anger nor her amusement lasts for very long. “You’re a human,” he says, incredulous. “Don’t you want power—or something?”

Morgana sniffs, fingers coming down to rub at her eternally stuffy nose, “I don’t particularly care.”

He blinks. “Are you not driven by … generosity?” His words are metered, strained, and pushed through clenched teeth; she suspects the word he wishes to have said was not half as nice as the one he had chosen. He’s being careful. It’s notable that he does seem genuinely curious, however. It’s just a guess, really, but this probably wasn’t how he had expected their meeting to go. And it must be weird to meet a human not simply drawn in by that promise of power, especially a power received so idly. A thing that Belphegor is known for accomplishing at a price; a particularly devious demon—manipulative, her textbooks had warned. She’s not sure she wants to deal with the cost of that, really; power and influence are overrated things, anyway—she wouldn’t deny a level of self-motivation in seeking out pacts like Pokemon cards, but. Power is the least of her concerns. Control is a trivial matter. She simply wants to live unburdened, and to do that, she needs to actually be alive. It’s a simple desire; all things considered. Base. Yet she’s curious—for answers no one else would give, she knows. Who would be so forthcoming? Lucifer? Certainly not. There’s clearly something going on here—this attic room, these spiral stairs, up which Lucifer had told her nothing was or would be—and damn it if she doesn’t want to know why this would be worth lying about; if everyone else was lying to her, too. Did Beel know? It didn’t seem that way, certainly, but she doesn’t really know him, either…

“I can be generous,” she reveals after a moment, “but I’m not going to go out of my way if I don’t need to. Plus,” Ana turns her gaze on him. “You’ve given me no reason to trust you.”

. . .

Trust. She falls onto her bed, sighing. How fucking complicated. It’s true that his lies had made her wary, but a part of her — an annoying, shoved-aside part of her — wants to help him. That feeling is as annoying as it always is. She’d been working on this part of herself, slowly but surely. It’s uncountable how many times now that her generosity has hurt her rather than helping, but attempting to be so selfish hurts all those good parts inside her, too. Tears them up and crushes them underfoot.

Tonight, it bothers her so much that it even stalls her sleep. Lying. Rolling. Restless. Why do you want to help him anyway? She doesn’t know, and more than not knowing him, her ignorance of herself is infuriating. She should know this. She should understand herself like the back of her hand. She thinks restlessly. She thinks endlessly. She thinks and comes up blank every time. He’s a stranger, Ana tells herself. He might even deserve it.

“Deserve being locked away?” She murmurs, an uneasy frown twisting her face. “With nothing?” Closes her eyes. It was glaringly obvious how little he actually had, after all. No D.D.D., which she’d already noticed early on. Absence from chats. Communication. Healthy things that were necessary. Isolation. Loneliness. One of Lucifer’s ham-fisted ‘punishments’? It doesn't feel right.

Even without trust, even if he did deserve some form of punishment, could she say that it would be this? Could she condemn him? Because that’s what it would be. Damning. Not helping Belphegor would only mean that he would be stuck there—living in those conditions, alone, for as long as Lucifer saw fit to hold him. Her wariness didn't mean she had to be okay with that by default—didn’t allow her to simply turn a blind eye. It’s true, she knows this, but that doesn’t mean she likes facing it.

[epipenis]

what would i say

“i’ve been lying to you, it’s not fine” i’ve said that, idk if it would have the weight that the truth does.

i think i’ve been trying to let it bleed out for a long time. idk if there’s a solution. i feel like we’re together compulsorily…. i hate that. i want to feel wanted……… i dont. idk. maybe i do. i feel myself becoming a bad person. a sneak. a liar. more.

i want to let it bleed out. but i feel fear, for so many reasons…. because of history. with devin. without devin.

and ofc, i know devin hates long convos. perhaps i’ve been lying to myself most of all. im so hurt. and idek what for anymore. none of it feels justified enough. i don’t want to torture them. i think i’ve failed us. how do i proceed? idk if it’s just seeking comfort or displacement or what, but i think maybe we’ve always been doomed. i was too fragile and needing to be wanted at all. in any capacity. and devin similar. we’ve grown so much, and yet so much damage has been done. can i ever tell the truth? will you hate me? will you run away? have i caused too much damage to repair. i want you to comfort me in that, but i know its not your job. some secrets i keep so close, i end up telling lies to bury them and then forget the truth. i think im fake. i’m made of plastic. fear. need for control. so many things. so much pain. so much failure. god……… no one can comfort me. you could leave me… maybe you should. i think “i want you to show me gratitude for what i’ve done for you, what i’ve sacrificed”. but that’s not it. it’s about what that gratitude means. it means i’m safe, it means you love me. it means you’ll forgive me. even when im annoying. even when i keep making long conversations happen. even when i pull away because idk what to do anymore, i want you to maybe feel pain and if you don’t then it wouldn’t matter anyways and maybe it would just make you happier.

i keep thinking “please just hold me”…. i hate my brain. i want to kill myself…. try again in another life. but doesn’t everybody feel this way? isn’t everyone this… complicated. what are we. what am i. why do i exist. i’m not strong enough for them. i’m nothing. and i show that pain and fear…. and it makes it worse…. they resent me for asking for too much…. they’re learning to pull back…. and honestly. it’s for the best…. i know it is. but some awful part of me that doesn’t know any safety or comfort outside of a cycle wishes…. so badly…. that you wouldn’t. but i did this all for you… fuck olivia rodrigo for that line.. yeah.. i do think about it we broke up, i would probably feel that way about your therapist that i found, for us, and gave to you. you’re all i think about…. is this love? is this enmeshment? have i lied so skillfully that i’ve even convinced myself… do i even know how to love. am i that broken. i want to suffer so i dont have to think about it anymore. when im suffering at least i can just focus on that…. god if you ever saw this. you’d hate me. maybe not hate. but you’d know i’m bad for you. and you’d be right. and it wouldn’t even matter that i’m crying about it right now. because you’d be gone. and better off for it. my world- my thoughts, are so painful, all i ever think about in regards to them is wanting to be hurt and wanting to be comforted. one day mom and dad will die. and i will be truly alone. no one will be forced to care about me. no matter how hard i try. no matter how much i try to force smth so that its capability of working without force is indiscernible. no. not even then. i will hurt you. i will frustrate you. i will need too much. heaven isn’t real. and nobody can give it to me.

devin please love me. please want me. please…. i shouldn’t ask this of you any longer. you can have a good life, i can see it… you should have it… im…. i won’t say nothing because i think if i did you would give up on me- because what’s it worth trying with someone who feels that way.

what is human connection really? i mean… i said previously i couldn’t let you see this place. i changed the url and everything. and now, i think, that’s just fear, it could happen. i could show all parts to you and you to me. i want to die because i think that’s the only way it could be possible. i don’t actually want to die…. idk…. life hasn’t gone super well for me. and if you left…. idk….. i think that would… just…… traumatize me more. idk if i could cope without allowing it to become trauma. would i want to leave you first? idk…. i think i guess i just don’t want to see you be happy… functional…. better off without me. i want to be good for somebody. anybody.

the only way to let go of this fear is to truly find altruism at the same moment as another. to want you because i want you. not for me. and for you to do the same. idk if that’s possible. what does it mean to want…. to be wanted…. can even the best professionals help me? will i just live on like this forever until i die too. i will die. this life isn’t real…. it is…. but…… it’s not mine. my life was supposed to have heaven. my life was supposed to have that comfort. unconditional. dad did it- why can’t i? what could i need? is the solution to bury it? how deep would it have to go… is the solution to gaslight myself? idk how much feeling it can solve in this situation. i’m trying so fucking hard………. and it’s still…. too much, and not enough.

ugh. devin please….. idek what i’m asking for. i do. and im trying not to.

please live for yourself…. and in your memory think fondly of me…. know that as fucked as it is and was…. as much as i couldn’t do it for altruism…. that i tried… and i do genuinely hope your life is better off for it. go find it somewhere. out there.

fuck.

i feel like my mind is turning into scrambled eggs. i don’t know how to parse it. idk how i get through the day, i just- do? how long ago did i stop feeling? does everyone feel? does everyone stop? do they feel it like i do- or does it happen young enough? idk.

i want to process this. it’s so big. how?

if i can’t find a resolution at least try to emotionally support the other and be compassionate…

last thing- it makes me sad that you felt negatively about that long convo… i- i felt good…. it made me so happy. it changed so much in me. i know it was long. and bumpy…… but i was so happy. i thought you were too. maybe you were and i didn’t know it, maybe im just getting one version. maybe i should ask you about it…. how would i react if you confirmed my fears….

anyways. i don’t feel like i really have friends anymore. i feel distant from everyone. i miss sam so much. i think he would get it. maybe… perhaps i just have an idea of him, and not actually him. devin….. ugh, im not gonna ask you to hold me. i have to try to take responsibility for this…. all of this. i have to right?

devin feels distant. they don’t want me to be growing and processing like this with them. they want me to do it on my own. like they do, more and more. but without this- what’s left?

how can i support and be compassionate for myself right now. here. i’m grateful for my vulnerability. i’m sorry it hurts, it’s a lot of big heavy emotions, from so long ago. it’s not easy. it’s ok that it hurts. it’s ok that it’s a lot.

finn, i promise to try- no, i promise to learn to love you unconditionally, because no one else will. you are brave, you are strong. you are worthy. you do good. you struggle, you have done things that are wrong, you have hurt others, but you are good. you can be good no just reactionarily, you can change and be kind and strong for yourself, not just out of guilt. try one step at a time.

devin is right. getting out will help.

it will be ok. i will grow. i will struggle. and it will be worth it- finn- you are worth it. you are good, you are loved- by me. i love you. i will hold you. i will be kind to you. i will not let others hurt you. i promise you. shh, it’s ok, now rest, you’re safe, you’re loved, you’re wanted, you are worthy, you are useful, you’re ok. rest. it’s ok. it won’t always be easy to comfort you this way, but i will do it. i will be here with you. even when it’s hard. i’ll never leave. i am you. you are me. i will find a way for us- me, to find comfort from within, so we can stop hurting ourselves and others so much.

[universallongings]

How about instead of telling people to “just let it go” when someone teases them about something that’s hurtful, we taught people not to say potentially hurtful things in the first place?

[miraculouscontent]

"Please, get out of my room."

Marinette's hand shook, trying desperately to keep the doll house behind her together enough to protect the Miracle Box. Her gaze fixed on her friends standing there, Rose crouched down to the sad remains of the doll house's roof while the others were looking on in concerned confusion.

Alya stepped forward first, the request apparently denied. "It's nothing, Marinette. We'll help you fix it, don't worry."

Except it wasn't nothing, it was everything, and of course none of the girls could've known that it was everything but it was. She'd barely had the Miracle Box for any time at all and now she was about to be exposed, the doll house feeling like some sort of metaphor for her life.

Raising her voice, Marinette replied strictly, "It's not nothing! Now leave!"

Most of the girls just stared at her, standing awkwardly in place. She asked - no, told - them to leave, and they weren't leaving. Why weren't they leaving?

Her palms were sweaty, making the task of holding up the doll house's wall all the more anxiety-inducing.

Alya huffed, her hands tightening into fists at her sides. "Okay, there's obviously something up—" She crossed her arms. "—and we're not going anywhere until you tell us what it is."

Mylene offered a smile that she clearly thought was reassuring, then held up a bracelet made of yellow threads with five colored beads along them. "We've already given our secrets to this bracelet, so now it's your turn."

Marinette wracked her brain for any memory of said bracelet, wondering if there were a promise she'd forgotten about - wondering if it was an excuse for them showing up out of nowhere - but there was nothing. She didn't even recognize it. Even over the voicemail they'd sent, there was no mention of such a thing.

The wall under her palm wavered, and she had to adjust quickly to keep it in place. She couldn't tell if it was too light or too heavy at this point, but it was ultimately just another thing to worry about that she didn't need. Her gaze flickered to it briefly to make sure it was properly held up, then swiftly focused back on the girls so as to not seem suspicious.

They really weren't going to leave. They were going to force her secrets out of her; force Ladybug out of her, the Miracle Box, everything.

Her stress levels were rising. She was panicking. It was all too much, and she—she...

She snapped.

"I'll—I'll tell you what's wrong!" she began. "You all walking into my room without my permission!"

The girls' mouths all shut in unison, their shoulders tense as they seemed suddenly lost for an argument.

"I didn't want to talk to you, and I definitely don't now!" A particular memory of the voicemail resurfaced, and she was reminded of what they'd said. "I thought you told me that I could talk where and when I wanted to? I thought all of you told me that, and then you showed up anyway?! Why would you lie to me like that?"

The words were bitter, only serving to make her angrier; at them, at herself, and at the whole situation. She hated lying - hated liars - and there was a part of her that couldn't help feeling hypocritical when she had to lie constantly to keep her identity secret.

But another part of her was quick to point out: she lied because she had to. They were lying despite having the choice.

Alya's brows furrowed, and it was hard to tell if she felt genuinely guilty or if she was just trying to think of how save the situation. She glanced back and forth from Marinette to Mylene, then hurriedly took the bracelet and held it out, arguing, "But if we're friends, you have to tell us everything anyway!"

Rose nodded in agreement, fists drawn up to her chest. "And real friends never let each other down!"

Marinette sputtered at first in response, multiple rambling responses trying to come out at once, from reminding them of either their intrusion or their lying to say that they had very much let her down.

Finally, her mouth settled on, "Then I guess we're not friends after all, since I'm letting you down so much! You're always pushing me, and setting things up even when I told you not to, and when everything goes wrong, it's always me who takes the blame, and me who gets teased for it!"

Alix recoiled at the outburst, then averted her gaze, looking somewhere between put off and ashamed as she grumbled, "We were just trying to help."

"I don't want your help! I don't even want you here!"

Marinette breathed shakily, her chest heavily at the emotions building in her chest. She could barely process what was coming out of her mouth and could only wonder how long she'd felt that way. How long had she been holding this in? How much had she been holding in? How long had she thought she deserved to be treated a certain way and took everything like she was the one at fault even if she'd done nothing?

Mental clarity kicked in, Marinette glaring and resolve blazing in her eyes as she asked, "Do you know why I didn't tell you anything?"

They looked on in curious trepidation, obviously not knowing the answer. At first, maybe she hadn't either.

"Because I didn't want you to meddle! Everything just goes wrong and I wanted to just live without worrying about it! I didn't want to  be teased, or talk about Adrien, or be ignored!"

"We don't ignore you!" Alya immediately interjected, taking on an offended tone. "That's why we're here!"

"Then why didn't you know?" Marinette challenged. "You noticed my crush on Adrien, but you didn't notice that I was dating Luka? When he was riding me home from school? When you took all those pictures of us together? I wanted to be left alone to be happy with him without anyone shouting at me about what to do and putting more pressure on me than I already have!"

Rose and Alya shifted in place, not making eye contact.

"You invaded my privacy, you broke my things, and you lied to me! If you're going to make me tell you everything, then—then—" She shook, the tornado of emotions hard to handle. "—then I don't want you as friends! Now get out!"

The girls collectively gaped at her, a few letting out audible gasps and Rose in particular covering her mouth with her hands. Everything went quiet, and Marinette's eyes must've been giving off fire with how any argument lingering on the girls' lips died before they could even come out.

Then, one by one, the girls began to turn and silently walk out of the room, some staying a second or two longer as if Marinette would change her mind if they held to the staring contest a bit longer. Alya was the last one out, her gaze darting up to Marinette one last time in vain.

Marinette just looked away, only reassured that the girls had left when she heard the click of the trap door. She exhaled, her arms stiff and her legs feeling like jelly as everything hit her at once. The gravity of the situation dragged her to the floor, the walls of the doll house falling apart to reveal the Miracle Box to no one but her and the kwami. She'd already cried too many times that day, but the tears were building up again. Anger, sadness, frustration...

Seeing Tikki hover close out of the corner of her eyes, Marinette lamented, "I didn't know what else to do. I didn't have a choice. I was just—and then—and they..."

"I know, Marinette," Tikki said quietly, though it was clear that she had very little comfort to add.

Marinette tried to steady her breathing, but she could see her tears falling onto the floor and knew that she'd lost control of her emotions. In a way, it almost felt relieving, like a weight off her chest that she didn't know had been there, but it didn't stop the terrible feelings from everything that happened that day, and the day before, and the day before that...

"We—" Marinette choked, realizing something and looking up with urgency. "Shadow Moth. He might come after me."

"Ah, but..." Tikki weakly tried to protest, watching as Marinette tried to force herself up.

"Gotta transform. Gotta be ready," Marinette murmured in a daze, her legs wobbling but managing to hold her up. Not letting Tikki get another word in, she hurried to command, "Tikki, spots on."

— — — — —

Marinette hugged her knees to her chest, back against the wall stretching upwards that helped make the bridge where she broke up with Luka. Part of her felt like coming here was some form of self-punishment - a reminder of what she'd lost and why she had to keep it that way - but another part just wanted to be here. It wasn't a good idea to be in her room where everything went down, or where her pictures were, or where the kwami would just remind her of all the things she didn't want to think about. It wasn't like her parents were going to check on her anyway, so she felt it best to be away from it all.

She tried to listen for the melody of the water that Luka had told her about, but every time she thought things were quiet enough to hear it, she would breathe in a little too hard, or Tikki would shuffle around in her purse at a loss for what to say. Marinette sighed in defeat, curling in on herself further and staring at the ground with her eyes half-lidded.

She wished she could go back; back to the day this whole mess started. Maybe she could've avoided Fu, Chloe, and maybe even Alya. She could've stayed in the background, unoffensive and just known as "the clumsy girl," one who didn't lie and leave class unexpectedly with the worse excuses possible. Avoiding Chloe would've meant avoiding her wrath, which meant that there would've been no misunderstanding with Adrien and no "spark" to ignite her crush underneath that umbrella.

Everything would've been so much easier. Maybe she would've met Luka sooner, bumping into him by accident one day and they'd drop all their things, her sketches mingling with his song sheets. They'd apologize and hurry to separate their stuff, then lock eyes and all would be well with the world. She'd stammer out her name when she introduced herself and he'd tease her affectionately, and it'd be okay because she wouldn't be busy being depressed over another guy.

They'd laugh, they'd get along, and there wouldn't be any drama in the way of them getting together. Without her having any responsibilities that would cause her to run off, they'd date, and they'd just... be happy.

Marinette closed her eyes, trying to let herself indulge in the fantasy even if only for a moment. The hold she had on her legs loosened, her hands sliding down until one of her hands brushed the opposite's wrist. She remembered Viperion - Luka - as the hero who thought first just like her and now could never be because of his identity being compromised, yet another by-product of her crush on Adrien in a way.

She exhaled, her thumb futilely brushing over her wrist; over a bangle that wasn't there.

Second Chance...

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, trying to live in fake memories, but when her eyes opened, she still found herself underneath the bridge in a life she didn't want. She stared blankly at the ground, the melody she'd desired still inaudible to her.

It took her a few seconds to realize that the view in front of her wasn't quite what it was before she closed her eyes, and it took a few more to notice the black distressed pants and the shoes splattered with varying random symbols at the corner of her vision. She blinked, unsure if she was seeing properly and wondering if she might be hallucinating after her fantasy, but a quick glance upward caused her eyes to meet Luka's, the brows above them furrowed with concern.

"A-ah," she let out involuntarily, straightening a little. Finally registering that he was there and very real, she inhaled sharply and stood, waving frantically at him as she stammered, "I-I'm so sorry! This is your spot, and I'm taking your spot, and I swear I didn't mean to—" She bent down and brushed her hands along the ground where she'd been sitting, as if she were cleaning it. "—I'll be gone soon, let me just—"

"It's okay," Luka assured while approaching her, his voice even softer than usual but with a tinge of sadness to it.

She stopped, hesitating, then looked back up at him in confusion. They hadn't talked since their break-up and she genuinely thought that he'd be upset with her.

"I'm glad," he said genuinely, "that you can find as much comfort in this place as I do. You don't have to go anywhere."

"...Oh," she uttered, her shoulders easing in mild relief. At least he didn't hate her, she supposed, though the awkwardness in the air was noticeable and she couldn't help noticing that he was keeping a minimum distance of three meters from her.

It hurt.

She fiddled with the strap of her purse, wondering why he was there and how she could've gotten so unlucky as to—well, that part was obvious actually, she'd been unlucky her whole life, but that didn't stop her from wondering what he was doing there. Was it something about his dad, or...?

Against her better judgment, she took a good look at his face, biting her bottom lip guiltily at the tired look in his eyes. He seemed as if he hadn't slept well in a few days, and she couldn't say that she was any different, which made the reason for his expression all the more obvious. It was a terrible feeling, already feeling bad that she made him feel bad and then feeling worse because there was a part of her that was a little glad to have meant so much to him that the break-up actually affected him.  He'd made her feel noticed and seen, something that was rare even amongst her frie—

Ah. Right.

She fidgeted, her feet shifting nervously against the ground. Juleka had been amongst the friends that she'd called out and forced to leave. She wasn't sure how close Luka was with his sister, as most of the interactions she'd seen were when they were in a group, but she was still his family. Did he know?

As if able to sense what she was thinking, Luka spoke up. "Jule told me."

Marinette winced and looked down, ashamed and fully expecting to be reprimanded. She clasped her hands at her waist, trying to mentally prepare herself.

Then, he immediately followed with, "Well, she mumbled it, but I got what she said."

It wasn't quite a joke, but it wasn't anything critical either. Marinette peeked back up at him, her brows scrunched together in confusion. He was smiling sadly, either understanding her or trying to be the sympathetic empath she'd always admired him for.

She averted her gaze, not feeling worthy of making eye contact with him. Sinking back against the wall, she sunk down to her earlier position and muttered, "I-it was for the best. I'm just... better off alone." She flinched at the sting in her chest that the words caused, but continued, "I won't hurt anyone that way. They can't be disappointed in me if we're not friends."

There was a pause, at which point Luka took a few steps closer, still maintaining a distance between them but also closing the gap significantly. "Why do you think you'll hurt people?"

She almost scoffed at that. "You would know why more than anyone, Luka." Though she still avoided looking at his face, she could see his fingers twitch from the corner of her vision. "I lie. I'm a liar! I'm just—" She spread her arms wide. "—I'm going to lie for the rest of my life, and ditch everyone and make them sad and they'll never know why!"

She'd tried to say it in an exaggerated tone to keep things light, but the tears started up. She held them back as best as she could, determined not to cry again when she'd already cried so much.

She heard Luka take a few steps closer, and he observed quietly, "But you don't want to."

"Of course not! But it doesn't matter! I should've known from the start that making friends was a mistake but I did it anyway!" She covered her face with her hands and shook her head. "I can't keep friends! I can't keep a boyfriend! I can barely keep this secret a secret!"

She didn't have to see his face to know that he was processing that. "...You can't tell me."

It was a realization for him, a mix of emotions in his voice and none of which she could place. She imagined he'd thought that it was a secret she'd chosen not to share with him, but that wasn't true.

She lowered her hands from her face. "I can't. I mean, not like—physically can't—it's not like the world would end if I did—" She halted briefly, stiffening at an unwelcome memory of Paris destroyed and underwater. "—o-or, maybe it would! But, it was never about trust, Luka! I trust you, I trust you so much, and I want to tell you so bad but I can't! It hurts but I can't! No one's supposed to know!"

She clutched her head, realizing that the conversation was spiraling downwards fast. She was torn between thinking that she'd said too much and then regretting how little she'd said when she'd broken up with him.

Luka took the final steps to close the distance between then, kneeling down to be closer to her level. "Marinette, I—I can't imagine what your secret could be, but it hurts watching you tear yourself apart like this."

"Well maybe that's how it's supposed to be!" she declared as she met his gaze, his eyes going wide in a mixture of pain and shock. She blinked rapidly, trying to fight the tears. "Maybe I'm just supposed to stay sad and alone forever! I have to do it all myself because that's the rule and it's my burden to carry!"

His heart was clearly breaking for her and it just made everything worse. He reached out to her, hovering his hand over her shoulder as a test and then settling it down with a feather-light touch when she didn't pull away. "I won't force you to tell me, and it's hard to say anything when I don't know what you're going through, but..." He hesitated, clearly feeling like it wasn't his place to say but being unable to help himself. "Couffaines break rules when we want to - when we know we have to - and I don't want to see you break instead."

She raised a hand, tempted to pull his hand from her shoulder, but stopped herself. "I-I don't have a choice. It's too dangerous. I can't let people close to me; I didn't even want to break up with you. You're amazing and sweet and I feel like I can tell you anything, but..." She looked down, defeated. "...you deserve better than this..."

He squeezed her shoulder, though whether it was a mix of offense at the comment, an attempt to comfort her, or both, she wasn't sure. "I can only tell you that I'd never tell anyone if I knew." He paused, as if to consider something, then added, "Even if it wasn't me - if it was someone else you trusted - I just don't want you to carry this alone."

She glanced up at him without moving her head, her mouth moving to reply but she ended up choking, then coughing in response to the air she'd just lost. Luka's free hand found her other shoulder as he leaned towards her, all the concern and love she could ever ask for being offered in his eyes.

He seemed to want to continue their conversation, but found something else to prioritize instead. "Do you want anything? Have you drank any water lately?"

The question caught her off guard until she remembered her coughing and mentally acknowledged that she might've been neglecting herself far more than she should've. Luka's hearing was on point, and she figured he must've heard the dryness of her throat.

She let out a small noise instead of a reply, no words given but Luka understood anyway. He stood up, his hands lingering on her for as long as possible before he turned and began to head back to the Liberty.

She watched him go, an ache in her chest even if she knew he'd come back. It reminded her of the day in the TV station where he confessed and she hadn't given him an answer, or when he'd comforted her after the break-up and she'd just taken it without a word back. It was all left incomplete, with him merely giving her  that respectful smile that told her that she only had to say what she was ready for.

But ready for what, exactly? Ready to talk? Ready for him?

Ready for herself?

"...I—" Her mouth moved on its own, her body leaning just slightly towards him as she said the words she'd always wanted to. "—I'm Ladybug."

It was practically a whisper - equivalent to a pin dropping - but Luka froze nonetheless, his foot mid-raise to take a step that never came. He'd heard her, and he finally moved as he turned to look at her, expression unreadable.

That's when the moment caught up with her, and the panic followed suit. "O-oh—oh no. Oh, I said it—you know—you—" She clutched at her capris, desperate to ground herself, but the hyperventilating was beginning to start, almost harmonizing with the sound of Luka's footsteps as he hurried over to her, closing the gap between them much faster than he had previously.

In an instant, he was on his knees in front of her, arms wrapped around her and lifting her slightly as he pulled her into a hug. She gasped in surprise, still blinking back tears as her senses registered that he was there: his body heat warming her, the fabric of his jacket against her face, the calming color combination of blues and blacks, and the faded scent of his body wash.

"L-luka," she whimpered, "I'm so sorry. Y-you're in danger—"

"It's okay," he assured softly, then again as if to be certain that she heard it, "It's okay."

She hesitated, her breathing still uneven, but she willed herself to release her capris - her fingers feeling stiff from how tightly she'd gripped them - so she could grab at his jacket instead. He responded in kind by hugging her tighter; too tight for a normal hug but just tight enough to bring her back down to reality.

"You're not alone anymore, Marinette," he whispered, "and I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

That did it, and the tears overflowed. She wrapped her arms around him, clinging to however much fabric her hands could grasp as she buried her face into his shoulder. No matter how strongly she hugged him, he didn't complain, simply letting her take whatever she needed from him.

In the silence of the embrace, she could finally hear the river's melody.

— — — — —

Marinette clasped her hands together on the couch, her breathing starting to steady as she watched Luka pour her fourth cup of water since she'd gotten there, the first three of which she'd downed in mere seconds. It was just the two of them there, which was comforting, as Juleka had apparently gone to Rose's house for the rest of the day and Anarka was... well, Anarka, and wouldn't be back until who knew when.

Luka returned to Marinette with a smile, offering the full cup of water to her. She reached for it, then stopped as she noticed how badly her hand was shaking. Taking a few more controlled breaths, she offered him a smile and gently pushed the cup towards him.

At his confused look, she observed, "You haven't been taking care of yourself either."

He opened his mouth, possibly to argue, then looked away from her, his eyes darting around at nothing. She could see the internal conversation in his head, playing out a scenario where he would try to insist, she would insist back that three cups was more than enough for her and he'd also taken none himself, and they would go back and forth until he relented.

His gaze softened, the conclusion to the mental argument clearly reached as he took a few sips from the cup. Rather than sitting on the couch, he sat down on the wooden table in front of it - a typical Couffaine move - so he could face her. Then, offering her a grateful smile, he asked, "How are you feeling?"

She smiled back at him, but it faltered as she stared at her lap, taking the time to legitimately think about the question. She ran her hands along her legs in a slow motion, hoping that it would stop any shakiness somehow.

"...Scared," she answered. "Nervous. Worried. Anxious." She pursed her lips as she realized that she was just listing off synonyms at that point.

Luka leaned towards her, resting his hand over one of the ones on her lap. "But, better than before?" he guessed.

Eyes half-lidded and fond, she nodded. "Yeah, and..." She turned the hand underneath his upwards so she could hold it. "I'm really glad you're here."

"I'm glad I'm here too," he whispered, as if to make sure that this moment was only for the two of them.

They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other's presence. Marinette was a mess of emotions, but refused to let go of the hand he'd offered her, her thumb stroking along the back of it.

"...Luka," she said after a few seconds of contemplation.

He didn't respond verbally, but he'd also already given her his full attention, and she knew he was listening.

She continued, "You're the last person I'd ever want to lose. If Shadow Moth finds out that you know—"

"If," he gently interjected, though his eyes encouraged her to go on.

"He'll use you. He'll take advantage of you. I don't want anything to happen to you, but I don't want you to leave either, because I really like you and you make me happy and better and—" She huffed, frustrated by the conundrum. "It feels like it's my fault. If I was stronger, or I wasn't so emotional, I..."

"Marinette."

She looked up at the tenderness in his voice. He set his cup down on the table, then slowly pushed himself off, crouching down in front of her as if to make himself appear as small as possible. His other hand found her free one and he held it, making their hand holding perfectly mutual.

"Do you remember the day we met? When my mom got akumatized?"

She nodded. "Yeah, of course."

He nodded in return, going on to explain, "You needed me to hide you, and I needed you to go get—" He caught himself, half-chuckling as the identity revelation adjusted his memories of that day. "—be Ladybug."

Marinette managed a smile. "You were covering for me, even back then."

He smiled back, looking almost too proud of that fact. "And we needed each other. No one can do everything alone, Marinette, so don't say you're sorry for the feelings that made up the song that's been stuck in my head ever since that day."

She swallowed involuntarily at the reminder of his confession. Judging from his smile widening, he noticed it.

"It's hard learning an instrument all by yourself," he continued, "and sad not having anyone to play to."

"And you want to be the whole crowd?" she asked quietly, her gaze drawn to their joined hands.

"Yeah," he answered, not missing a beat.

She took a breath, knowing it was too late to change things but still wanting to acknowledge the decision anyway. "O...okay. Thank you, Luka."

They exchanged loving smiles, and Marinette could've sworn that the eye contact alone was keeping her heart rate down. The future was still nerve-wracking, but she'd been afraid of it even before she'd told Luka her secret, so at least now she had someone who understood her and who she could talk to about it.

The conversation mutually ended there, but then Luka - wholly unprompted - let out an exaggerated sigh and tilted his head back. Curious, Marinette asked, "What is it?"

He grinned at her, a glint in his eyes that made it clear that he was in a teasing mood now that the atmosphere had lightened. "Does this mean I have to watch Chat Noir flirt with my girlfriend?"

She snorted, opening her mouth to reply before stopping as the words behind the joke caught up to her. She leaned forward and squeezed his hand, eyes wide with hope. "Girlfriend?"

He nodded without hesitation. "You said you didn't want to break up with me, Marinette, and I didn't want to break up with you either."

"Y-yeah, but—" She frowned, conflicted. "I'll still have to leave? Nothing's changed except you knowing why."

"I didn't date you so that we could go on dates," he replied. When she tilted her head in confusion at him, he briefly averted his gaze, a hint of shyness appearing on his face before he steeled himself up and looked back at her, clarifying, "I just wanted to be your boyfriend, dates or no dates."

"Oh. O-oh." And that was all she had to say about that, any coherent words burned away from the blush forming on her face.

Luka smiled hopefully, and Marinette quickly decided that bashfulness looked good on him. "So, if you want to make this work with me, then—"

"Yes!" she replied immediately, untangling her hands from his so she could push herself off the couch.

His eyes lit up, his arms spreading wide as she dropped into his lap, and he didn't recoil when she arched up to kiss him, her movements quick to ensure that there would've been no chance for them to be interrupted. She wrapped her arms around him, neither caring about the awkward position on the floor due to being lost in each other's touch.

There was a soft click when the kiss broke, Marinette promptly pulling herself against him and nestling her face near his collarbone, now able to properly enjoy the scent she'd missed for all those dreadful days they'd been apart.

Following up on what he'd told her underneath the bridge, she tightened her hold and whispered, "I love you too, Luka."

Snuggled so close to him, she swore that his heartbeat picked up, though she didn't have to feel it to know that he was happy, what with the way his hands shook against her and how he placed an immediate kiss on the top of her head. She let herself get absorbed in the moment, allowing herself to smile and think only of Luka, the one who respected her choices and feelings from the day they met.

There was no one else she'd rather share her identity with.

[helloalycia]

just a kid [two] // wanda maximoff

summary: you decide to get to the bottom of things, suspecting Wanda has something to do with your troubled memories.

warning/s: mentions of death and explicit/descriptive violence.

author's note: here’s the second and final part! bit of an angsty one oof

part one | masterlist | wattpad

In all of the time Wanda and I spent together, we'd never lied to one another. We always told each other everything, even if we thought it would make the others person upset. So, I couldn't for the life of me understand what she was doing behind my back now.

After a while of trying to collect my thoughts and reigning in my agitation, I returned to Doctor Maya's office to see she was alone. When I entered without knocking, she looked up with surprise, but now that I knew that she was hiding something, I saw a hint of guilt.

"Y/N, what can I do for you?" she asked without so much as a shake in her voice. She'd practiced well. "Did we have an appointment?"

I closed the door behind me, stepping forward but not quite committing to taking a seat.

"I still feel nauseous," I said with stern eyes. "I still get nightmares. My thoughts don't feel like my own. My head hurts every time I try to remember my accident."

"Y/N, I've told you, it'll take time to–"

"Stop! Stop lying!" I exclaimed, gripping the back of the chair tightly. "I heard you and Wanda talking earlier. I know you're hiding something. Something to do with Wanda. So, tell me. What is it?"

Other than jumping at my sudden outburst, she showed no expression on her face, nor acknowledgement to my words. I tried a different approach, shoulders sagging with defeat and expression softening.

With a normal volume, I pleaded, "Please. I have a right to know if it concerns me."

Still, she said nothing. Only avoided my eyes and played with her fingers nervously on her desk. I clenched my jaw, trying not to snap.

"Fine," I gave in. "Can you at least tell me if Wanda was there when my accident happened?"

Finally, she spoke, nodding. "Obviously she was. She was the one who got you to the quinjet after you were knocked unconscious."

I chewed the inside of my mouth, trying to piece together the incident. Things still didn't make sense...

"The agent that I was trying to help," I said, remembering that was the reason I was out in the field in the first place, "what happened to them? Where are they now?"

She straightened up in her seat. "As I told you before, he made it out okay. But I cannot tell you where he is."

"And why not?"

"It's not relevant."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Well, now I know you're hiding something."

She pressed her lips together, unsure whether to respond or not. After opening and closing her mouth like a fish in water, she opted to stay silent.

"I guess I'll keep taking my medication like a good girl," I said with sarcastic smile. "Thanks for nothing, doc."

With an eye roll, I left the room and decided to take matters into my own hands. If neither her nor Wanda would tell me the truth, I'd make a start to finding out myself.

First thing's first – Wanda had some sort of connection to this whole thing, excluding the fact that she was hiding it. I recalled hearing her say something about 'working out the kinks'... what was she trying to work out?

I knew she had powers and was capable of many things; was it linked to that? I was having trouble remembering and the only two people who seemed to know were my doctor and Wanda, the girl who had the abilities to manipulate thoughts to her own will. But she wouldn't, would she? That was an invasion of privacy, morally wrong. She was a good person. The only time she'd done that was when she was trying to defeat the Avengers, but she wasn't that person anymore... she wouldn't do that to me, right?

It was getting late and I still had so many pieces of the puzzle to put together. All I had were theories and nothing to back them up. So, as I headed to Wanda's room with tired eyes and a curious brain, I tried to push it away for the evening and focus on getting some sleep, if any.

Wanda was tying her hair up in the mirror, already dressed for bed, when I stepped in. Her eyes caught mine in the mirror and she spun around, expression softening.

"Hey," she said gently, probably taking caution after how our last interaction went. "D'you have a nice walk?"

I pursed my lips, studying her carefully. How could she act like this? So concerned for my well-being as she watched me suffer, when she knew something that might help me?

"Yeah, I guess," I spoke, before taking my shoes off and going to the ensuite to get changed.

It was quiet as I got ready for bed and brushed my teeth. Wanda, thankfully, didn't push me to speak, but I was still confused. I wanted her to tell me what she knew, but she was playing it safe. Maybe I could test the waters a little...?

As I clambered into bed beside her, I saw she was sat up and reading a book in the light of her bedside lamp. I began to take my watch off and glanced at her subtly, deciding to say something.

"I think something is wrong," I said, earning her attention. "I think I might be remembering my accident incorrectly."

She lowered her book, giving me her full attention. But unlike before, I now saw the doubt swimming in her eyes.

"What? Why do you think that?" she asked with confusion.

I put my watch to the side and paused, deciding whether I was in the mood to get into it.

"How do you know it was a mine?" I asked her, quirking a brow.

She pulled a face, as if suggesting my question was silly. "I was there, Y/N. I saw it."

I wanted to believe her, I did.

"Did anyone else see it?" I asked, unable to stop myself.

Closing her book, she shook her head, distracting from the panic settling into her expression. "What's with all of the questions?"

I ignored her. "You can manipulate people's thoughts, can't you? Get into their head. Read their mind."

"Yes...," she answered, nodding with a puzzled frown. "So?"

I'd known Wanda long enough to know she was hiding something. I should have detected the signs sooner. The constant avoidance of my eyes, the fiddling thumbs, the way her accent grew a little stronger. I was right. She was keeping something from me.

"You've never got into my head before, right?" I asked curiously, wondering if she was reading my thoughts right now. Did she know I was on to her? Did she know I knew she was hiding something?

Resting a reassuring hand on mine, she shook her head. "I would never."

I glanced at her hand that squeezed mine, then to her dark green eyes swimming with certainty. Was she lying now? Or was she just getting better at it?

No, I still had my doubts. She must have done something to my thoughts. And I would never know unless she told me, which she clearly wasn't going to.

"You're mad at me," she realised, letting go of my hand.

I shook my head and looked away, frowning. "I'm not. I'm just tired."

Without another word, I got under the covers and turned my back to her. I wasn't sure what else to do. She was blatantly lying to my face when I thought I could trust her. How could she?

Sleep came to me quickly that night, thankfully not bombarded by painful dreams. But when I woke up and had a shower, I realised how angry I still was. Wanda was lying to me and I didn't understand why.

"I'm gonna go back to my flat," I told her out of the blue after drying my hair.

She walked out of the ensuite and leaned against the doorframe, seeming taken aback. "You're going back?"

I nodded, maintaining eye contact. "Yeah. I can't stay here."

Wanda frowned. "This is about last night."

She looked so hurt by my words that I almost took them back, but I didn't. She was a liar.

"Yeah, it is," I said, crossing my arms with certainty, a hostile expression taking over my face. "I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, Wanda, but you're lying to me."

She straightened up, eyebrows furrowing together. "What are you talking about?"

I squeezed my hands as I continued to cross my arms, hiding my frustration. "I know you're in my head."

She hesitated – a split second, but I saw it – and it was enough to confirm my thoughts.

"I would never do that," she said with a shake of her head, making me clench my fists.

"Stop lying to me, Wanda!" I shouted, finally bursting. "I know it's you! You're in there, I can feel you!"

"Y/N–"

"No!" I cut her off, tears brimming my eyes. "You're mixing my thoughts up and spitting out something that isn't real. You have to be! Because if you're not then– then– then I'm going insane."

I swallowed hard, wiping my eyes and looking away momentarily, trying to collect myself. Crying wasn't my intention, but God, the discomfort in the pit of my stomach and the constant restlessness I felt was eating me alive. I needed to know the truth and the one person I thought I could rely on wasn't helping me.

"I'm sorry," she said, and I looked at her to see she was watching me apologetically. "I don't want to. But I have to."

I licked my lips, partially fed up. I was hoping I was mistaken, that the most that would happen is I accused my girlfriend of something immoral. This was way worse. I was right.

"Why do you have to?" I questioned with burning eyes. "What happened that I can't know?"

She stepped forward, but I stepped back. Frowning, hurt, she ran a hand through her hair.

"I can't tell you," she said regretfully, making me groan loudly. "Look, it's not as easy as you think. This is for your own good, Y/N."

"No, no, it's not," I disagreed, before pointing an accusing finger her way. "You don't get to decide that for me! You have no right!"

Glassy green eyes met mine. "This is all to protect you. The truth hurts."

"Fuck yeah, it does," I said bitterly. "Discovering my girlfriend is mind-controlling me is never a nice thing to learn."

"Don't say that!" she snapped, clenching her fists. "It's not like that."

"It's exactly like that," I said lowly, scowling at her. "You're treating me like your enemy. You don't just get to prance around in my head because we're a couple. That's not how this works."

"That's not what I'm doing!" she shouted, eyes beginning to glow red with frustration.

"Then tell me what the hell is going on!" I said, not backing down.

She clenched her jaw, red eyes and anger dispersing as her expression softened. "I can't."

Through blurry vision, I glared her way. "Then fuck you, Wanda! I'll figure it out myself!"

I was sick of her feeling like she could control me, like I was some sort of helpless being who needed her protection. It was my head and I deserved to know what the fuck was in it!

In the two years we'd been together, we'd never argued this bad. And I'd never imagined it would be because she was manipulating me like she was.

With determination, I stormed down to the medical floor of the Tower and straight to Doctor Maya's office.

When she saw me, she looked up with surprise. "Y/N, what are you–"

"Cut the act, I know the truth," I interrupted her. "About Wanda mind-controlling me. How you were both in cahoots. I know it all."

She seemed shocked. "I– I don't know what to say."

"You can tell me where the agent I tried to help is," I got straight to the point.

"I'm not sure if I should–"

"One way or another, I'm going to find out," I deadpanned, not in the mood to be played. "Just tell me."

It didn't take much convincing, as I soon found myself on the way to a hospital at a nearby S.H.I.E.L.D. facility where the agent was recovering in. With my clearance, it wasn't difficult to get inside, and after explaining who I was, the agent – Agent Montgomery – was happy to have me visit him.

When I walked into his room, I saw he was sitting up in his bed, watching the TV hung on the wall ahead. When he saw me however, he muted it and smiled brightly at me. I noticed the bruises littering his body and though he was wearing a hospital gown, I suspected his injuries were bandaged beneath it.

"Doctor Y/L/N," he addressed me. "It's such a pleasure. I've been wanting to thank you ever since you helped me out a week ago."

I offered a small smile, stopping by his bedside. "There's no need. I was just–" I hesitated, feeling like an idiot as I couldn't even remember what I'd helped him with. "I was just doing my job."

He chuckled. "So modest. It's just nice to know you're doing okay. If it weren't for you swooping in on the scene, I'm sure I would've bled out. I wanted to thank you, but the doctors here told me that you were pretty shaken up after what happened and needed some time."

My eyes fell to the monitors beside his bed, avoiding his eyes. "Yeah... what exactly happened that day?"

He seemed surprised. "You don't remember? It wasn't... it wasn't good. I thought that's why you were taking the time for yourself."

I looked up, catching the way his smile faded into a frown and he looked down to his hands sadly.

"Can you refresh my memory?" I asked gently, unsure whether I was ready to hear the truth or not. But it was now or never.

"Well, from my perspective, I was laying on the ground, thinking I was gonna die from blood loss..."

This part of the city was desolate and destroyed, remnants of broken buildings as a result of the Avengers' fight surrounding me. When I was rushed into the field with my team, with plans of finding the handful of casualties to be extracted, I followed usual protocol.

It was supposed to be empty of enemy combatants. We were just supposed to be prepping the casualties for evacuation, as usual. This time was different though.

I came across Agent Montgomery's body by myself, separated from my team as they spread out amongst the rubble to find the rest of the bodies.  He was laying there, body unmoving as his hand was pressed to a point above his stomach.

Instinctively, I rushed over to him and began to unload my medical equipment on the ground beside him. I squinted in the hot sun – why was it so bright out? – as I tried to pull the agent's helmet off.

"Hey, I'm here to help," I told him reassuringly, giving him a smile that I hoped would put him at ease. "Can you hear me?"

"You helped me, patched me up," Agent Montgomery was explaining vividly, and I found myself hanging onto his every word.

For the first time in a week, my memories were making sense. They flowed as one rather than in mashed scenes of a broken film.

He nodded, to my relief, and let me move his hand to the side so I could see what I was working with. A bullet wound and from the looks of it, the bullet was still lodged in there.

I spent the next five minutes patching him up well enough so I could eventually take him back to the quinjet, whilst making conversation with him so he would feel better about everything. When I was done, I radioed my team to help collect him and planned to wait by his side until they arrived. But I heard someone calling for help and looked up with confusion, hand resting on my own pistol.

"There was this kid," he recalled, wincing at the mention of her, which made me wonder what went wrong. "I was a little out of it, I'm not gonna lie. But I could never forget it. Forget that poor girl."

The voice belonged to a little girl. It was as if she'd appeared out of nowhere. Her clothes were tattered and she was covered in dirt, like she'd climbed out from one of the collapsed buildings. I wouldn't have put it past her. People did live here after all. Or, at least, they did.

"Hey," I said quietly, letting go of my pistol. "Are you okay, love? Are you hurt?"

She frowned, lip quivering. "I don't know where my family is."

My heart sank at her words, watching the look of horror cross her expression. I couldn't imagine what she must have witnessed as the battles raged on earlier. She stepped closer to me, eyes blinking innocently, before finding the state of the agent on the floor.

"He'll be okay," I reassured her, earning her attention. "And so will you. I'll help you find your family, yeah?"

She nodded, wiping away fresh tears.

"She was just a kid," Agent Montgomery said, his own eyes glassy from pent up emotions. "She didn't deserve what happened."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. He didn't need to finish. I remembered it so vividly.

"Do you have a name?" I asked her, removing my medical gloves and throwing them to the side so I could give the girl all of my attention.

I outstretched my hand, offering it up. She rested hers in mine, making me smile.

"Selena," she mumbled.

"Well, Selena," I began, hopefully, "that's a pretty name. And I'm sure we can find your parents in no time."

We just had to wait until my team came and then I could try to look for her parents. It wouldn't be hard and I refused to accept they were dead, despite the likelihood of them being alive being quite low.

Selena nodded, her tiny hand squeezing mine, searching for comfort. I squeezed it back, kneeling before her and giving her a quick nod.

Before either of us could say anything more, the unexpected happened. It was as if there was a bomb set in the middle of that tiny girl's body because one second I was staring at her, and the next, she exploded all over, coating me in tiny, fleshy pieces.

My jaw dropped with disbelief, ears ringing from the explosion and heart dropping at the suddenness of it all. I risked looking down, only to see the girl's hand still intact and resting in mine. But where her body should have connected, there was nothing there.

I couldn't help but think how strange it all looked, like a prop from a film set, or a mannequin hand from a clothing shop. I dropped it without thinking, watching it bounce onto the blood-stained ground.

Smoke and blood infiltrated my nose. I looked down and my hands were shaking so much, covered in what looked like minced meat. Meat. Blood. Smoke.

My stomach curled, but I couldn't move. Eyes were permanently widened. Hands were still shaking. The girl's voice played in my ears amidst the ringing. One second she was there and the next she wasn't.

"It came out of nowhere," Agent Montgomery muttered. "Some weapon HYDRA were testing. Had the ability to make its target explode within seconds. She was just another victim of the senseless violence that day."

I swallowed hard, my stomach curling. So much nausea. So much aching. I pocketed my sweaty, shaking hands. Looked to Agent Montgomery.

"That avenger, the witch?" he continued, looking up to me. "She got us out of there. Killed the HYDRA agent. You must've passed out from shock. But she saved us both."

Wanda. She was there. She'd seen it all happen. She'd saved me.

She'd lied to me.

My mouth was dry like sandpaper. My head hurt. I felt sick. The memories were connecting as they flashed through my mind.

It came out of nowhere.

She was just a kid.

"Thanks for telling me," I managed to get out, already backing up. "Good luck with your recovery."

He may have responded, but I wouldn't know. I left the room, ears ringing like I was still there. I looked down, half expecting my clothes to be covered in flesh. Selena's flesh. That poor girl...

She was just a kid.

My vision blurred and I had to pause, hanging in the empty hallway of the medical wing. I raised my hand, covering my mouth as I struggled to breathe without shaking. But it was impossible.

It came out of nowhere.

I don't know where my family is.

"There you are."

I looked up, blinking away tears, making out Wanda standing before me. She seemed reluctant to come closer and for a moment, I wasn't sure what I was feeling.

"Doctor Maya told me where you were," she explained quietly.

Do you have a name?

"I don't have t-time for this," I got out, pushing myself away from the wall and moving forward, walking past her.

"Y/N, please wait," she pleaded, grabbing my arm, and I shook her off so quickly. The thought of being touched right now, when I was covered in–

I looked down. I was clean.

Selena.

"I shouldn't have controlled your mind," Wanda continued from behind me, sincerity in her words. "It wasn't right. It wasn't my place."

I turned around, breath catching in my throat. My ears were still ringing. Hands still sweaty. I pocketed them, though they shook so much my jacket was moving.

Well, Selena, that's a pretty name. And I'm sure we can find your parents in no time.

"She was just a kid," I said, expecting such ferocity in my words, but they barely came out above a whisper. "She wasn't supposed to be there."

Wanda swallowed hard, taking a small step forward. I didn't move back.

"It wasn't your fault."

"She just wanted her family." I clenched my jaw, squeezing my sweaty, shaky hands into fists. "She shouldn't have been there."

"Y/N..."

I squeezed my eyes shut, tears flowing out, before shouting, "You had no right! You– you– you had no fuckin' right!"

Wanda watched me with glossy eyes. "I know. You're right."

Just a kid.

The ringing stopped. I clutched my stomach, wishing the stabbing nausea would disappear. Now that my thoughts were whole again, I felt like I was experiencing the whole thing once more. It was catching up to me quicker than I could adjust to.

She opened her mouth to speak and I shook my head, signalling for her to stop. I couldn't take it. I was so angry and hurt and shocked and I– I–

"I hate you," I breathed out.

She frowned, eyes screaming with guilt. "Y/N..."

My jaw ached from the pressure I was putting on it. Marks were forming in my palm from how hard I was squeezing my fists. She had no right.

"It wasn't your fucking place," I repeated, moving forward and bundling her shirt in my fist. Glaring at her through my tears, I saw the way she put up no fight, expressions softening and etched with guilt. "You– you– you–"

My hands began to shake again. The ringing returned. I couldn't take it. I let go and shoved her back, needing a moment. But I didn't know what to do.

I wanted to hate her. She had messed with my head. Made this so much worse than it could have been if she'd just let me suffer in the first place. But at the same time, a small part of me wished it would have worked. That her mind manipulation would have done it's job and I wasn't remembering. Because fuck, remembering hurt like a bitch.

More tears came and I squeezed my eyes shut, squeezing my stomach to ease the never-ending pain. I opened my mouth to speak, but a sob came out instead, and before I knew it, Wanda was wrapping her arms around me, letting me fall into her.

"It's okay," she said with certainty, squeezing me. "You'll be okay."

I shook my head because I knew that wasn't true. Nothing was okay. I couldn't imagine it ever being okay.

She was just a kid.

[lockley-spktr]

Progress

Summary: Bucky is still struggling with his nightmares even though he completed his list of amends. The two of you have a serious talk.

Word count: 2,055

Warnings: Mentions of therapy, trauma, and Bucky’s nightmares. Otherwise I can’t think of any others. Yes, I included fluff in here. Bucky has suffered enough in canon. 

Author’s note: I started writing this after I watched the TFATWS finale when it was first released. For the most part, I enjoyed the finale, but some things in regards to Bucky fell flat for me. I got the impression that we’re supposed to believe he’s fine now just because he finished his list of amends when we didn’t even get to see a montage or anything. And his talk with Yori was anti-climatic to say the least. that just didn’t sit right with me so here’s my spin on what I think Bucky still struggles with after the events of the TFATWS finale. A lot of the therapy talk was personal for me so it hit hard as I was writing it. As always, feedback is appreciated!

You catch a glimpse of the digital clock on your nightstand as you roll onto your side. 

Since when was it 2:00 AM and where had Bucky gone off to?

Usually, when woke up in the middle of the night if you were alone, you'd readjust and fall back asleep. If Bucky was with you, you’d snuggle up against him and fall back asleep. 

Since you weren't alone and Bucky had disappeared on you neither one of those two things was an option for you. 

Rubbing your eyes, you get up from your bed and stretch. You grab a blanket and make your way into the living room. 

The soft glow of the TV screen catches your attention. Your eyes wander to Bucky who's sat on the couch and playing with his hands. 

“Bucky?” You say softly, trying not to startle him.

Bucky turns his head to face you, “What are you doing up?”

You shrug, “I just woke up. I went to snuggle up to you, but you weren't there. I was worried.”

Bucky furrows his eyebrows, “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to worry you.”

You shake your head, “It’s alright. What's wrong?” 

Bucky looks away from you, focusing his attention on the TV, “Nothings wrong.” 

“Bucky.”

“What?”

“You're a terrible liar.” 

“I’m not lying.”

“Then look me in the eyes and tell me nothings wrong.”

Bucky sighs as he leans back against the couch cushions. Still avoiding eye contact with you he speaks softly, “I can’t.”

“That's what I thought.”

You sit down on the couch next to him and lay the blanket on both of you. 

“Is this alright?” You ask. 

Bucky nods, “You know, I used to be a good liar.” 

You chuckle, “Used to being the key phrase.”

Bucky takes your hand in his, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb, “You think you're funny, don't you?”

“I don't think I’m funny, I know I’m funny. Even if you were a good liar I’d still be able to tell when you're lying.”

“Why is that?”

“Because we’ve been dating for ten months, I know you, baby,” you soften your voice, your playful tone disappearing, “And that also means I know when somethings wrong, please talk to me.” 

Bucky sighs, “I had a nightmare.”

“What was it about?”

“Yori’s son,” Bucky pauses, and when he continues you can hear the frustration in his voice, “And I don't know why. I spoke to Yori, months ago, I told him what happened. I don't understand why it's still haunting me.” 

“Bucky, just because you spoke to him, doesn't mean that what he did is just going to be erased from your memories.” 

“But I told him. I did what Dr. Raynor told me to do, what Sam told me to do.”

“That doesn't just mean the guilt you feel because of it disappears.“

Bucky huffs, “Well it should.”

“I know you want it to disappear, but you know that's not how trauma works for anybody.“

Bucky looks down at you, “What do I do?”

“You keep trying, that's all you can do,” you move your free hand to his face, wiping away his tears, “My love, that's all any of us can do.” 

“Just trying doesn't feel like enough.” 

“It is enough, Bucky.”

“I was making progress. I thought I was getting better.”

“You are making progress. You are getting better. The progress you've made doesn't just disappear because you had a bad nightmare.”

Bucky let's go of your hand and turns away from you. 

“Please don't do that.” You say, readjusting on the couch so your body is facing his. 

“Don't do what?” 

“Don't close yourself off from me.”

Bucky runs his hand through his hair. He lets out a sigh as he turns to face you. 

You smile putting your hand on his knee, “Thank you.” Your voice is soft and your touch is gentle. 

That makes Bucky relax a bit knowing you're not mad at him. You're just worried because you care about him. 

Even after all this time he still isn't used to someone caring for him. There are moments where he accepts it and believes it. Then there are moments where he can't accept it and listens to the lies his brain tells him.

The look on Bucky’s face makes your heartbreak. It's a combination of fear and frustration.

You take his hands in yours and rub your thumbs along his knuckles just like he did with you earlier.

“Bucky, progress isn't linear. It's messy and filled with so many ups and downs. You may think you're over something, and then something like a bad nightmare happens and you feel like you're right back where you started, right?”

Bucky nods.

“The thing is you're not back where you started. The progress you made is still there. It doesn't just disappear because of one bad moment,” you move one of your hands to his cheek, softly stroking under his eyes with your thumb, “You'll bounce back from this and continue to heal, you always do. You don't give yourself enough credit for how strong you are.” 

Bucky leans against your hand and presses a kiss to your palm.

“You've been to hell and back multiple times yet you never let that change you. You easily could've turned your back on the world, but you didn't,” you move closer to him, “Every day you choose to be kind and if the opportunity presents itself you choose to help others. You’re a good man.”

Bucky knows you’re right. He knows that you aren't lying to him and you believe everything you said to him. You were always truthful, you never lied, not to him.

You were kind, but his mind and his thoughts weren't. And he knew that you could tell he was battling his thoughts right now. 

You put your hands on his face, softly stroking underneath his eyes with your thumbs. “Bucky, you are good. You are a hero. And you deserve all the good things the world has to offer.”

Tears well up in Bucky’s eyes and as they fall you wipe them away. 

“Do you believe me, Buck?”

Bucky nods, “I do.” 

You can tell he's being truthful and that makes you smile, he's come so far, “I love you, baby.”

Bucky presses his forehead against yours and smiles, “I love you too, doll.” His hands move to your face, he leans in and kisses you. 

The two of you stay on the couch a while after that, you're straddling his hips, and your head is against Bucky’s chest. He has his chin on your head and his arms wrapped around you. 

For a while, it was peaceful. Bucky had fallen back asleep and you were happy that he was getting some much-needed rest. 

Just as you were about to fall asleep you felt Bucky jolt awake.

His grip around you is tight, but you don't mind, he isn't hurting you. He could never hurt you. 

Bucky looks down at you with wide eyes and your heart breaks, you hate seeing him like this, he looks so scared. 

You readjust yourself on his lap, still straddling his hips, you put your hands on his shoulders. “You’re alright, baby. You're with me. What happened?” 

Bucky shakes his head, “Nothing.”

“Did you have a bad dream again?”

“No, I just,” he sighs, “I didn't mean to fall asleep.”

“You need to sleep. Why are you fighting it?” 

Bucky shrugs, but you know there's a reason. Something he isn't telling you. 

“Buck, please.” You push gently you don't want to upset him, but you know he’ll feel better if he says it out loud, gets it out of his head, and he knows that too.

“I don't want to have any more bad dreams or nightmares.” 

“You can't stay awake forever,” you rest your hands on his chest and play with his dog tags, “Can I ask you something?”

“‘Course.”

“Why'd you stop going to therapy?”

“The goal was to finish my list of amends. I finished it so I stopped going.” 

“Finishing your list of amends wasn't the goal, it was one goal. The goal is to heal and learn how to cope,” you sigh, “My love, the goal isn't achieved by just finishing one goal. Even then healing is a constant process and it's hard, but once you start feeling better it's all worth it.” 

“Doll, I know you're right, but I’m scared.” 

It feels strange for Bucky to say it out loud, but he can't ignore the instant relief he feels once the words leave his mouth. 

“Oh, baby,” you place your hand on his cheek, and he leans into your hand, “It’s okay to be scared. What are you scared about?”

“I’m scared that I can't do it, that I’m not strong enough.”

“Not strong enough? What did I say earlier? James, You are the strongest person I know,” you kiss his forehead, “You've endured things that no person should ever have to experience. And you survived.”

Bucky smiles, “James? You must be serious.”

You giggle softly, “You bet I am.”

“I don't want to go back to Dr. Raynor.”

“You don't have to.“

“Who will I see?”

“Whoever you want to. It's your decision to make, Bucky. Not the governments, not mine, yours.”

Bucky’s eyes light up, “Yeah?”

You smile, “Yeah. It might take some time to find the right person, but you'll find them, I know it.” 

“Are you sure?”

You nod, “I believe in you,” you kiss his forehead and continue, “If you want I can come to your appointments with you, I can just sit in the waiting room for moral support, or I could come in with you if there's something you want to talk about, but you're not sure if you can do it alone.” 

“I can't ask you to do that, Y/N.”

“You aren't asking me to do anything, Buck. I’m offering. Whatever you need I’m here for you.”

Bucky’s voice is quiet as he asks, “Why?”

“Remember how last week you came to therapy with me, just to sit in the waiting room in case I needed you during or immediately after the session?”

Bucky nods, moving his hand to your face, “I do.”

“Why’d you do that?” 

“I knew you had a rough week. I didn't want you to be alone.”

“Why didn't you want me to be alone?”

“Because I love you.” 

You smile, “Those reasons are exactly why I want to do this for you. I know this is going to be hard for you, I don't want you to be alone, and I love you too.” 

You rest your forehead against his “I’m so lucky to have you,” Bucky mumbles in between kisses, “you're so good to me.” 

“The feeling is mutual,” you hold his face in your hands, “Why don't we go back to bed? We can talk more about all of this tomorrow,” you kiss his nose, “You need to sleep.”

“So do you, doll.”

“That’s why I said why don't we go back to bed. We as in both of us, Barnes.”

“You’re last naming me now?” 

You nod, “I might start middle naming you soon.”

“Please don't.” 

“Buch–”

Bucky cuts you off by covering your mouth with his hand, “That's enough of that. You win. We’ll go to bed.”

You burst into a fit of laughter the moment he picks you up. Bucky can’t hide the smile that appears on his face when he hears your laugh, it’s one of his favorite sounds. And knowing that he’s the reason for it makes him incredibly happy.

Once you’re both settled under the covers, Bucky turns to face you. When he speaks you almost miss it. His voice is soft, you can tell just how exhausted he is. 

“Doll?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you hold me?

You don’t say anything. You just hold open your arms and Bucky takes the hint. He rests his head on your chest and you wrap your arms around him.

You kiss his head, “Are you comfortable?” 

“Very.”

“I’m glad. Now, get some rest,” you rest your chin on his head, “I’m right here if you need me. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“Love you so much,” Bucky mumbles as he falls asleep.

“I love you too.”

[ur-riddikulus]

Fear and Cuddles (Thor Odinson)

Pairing: Thor x Y/N.

Summary: You are afraid of storms and go into Thor’s room one night because he calms you down. Then he figures out and forces you to admit this to him.

Warnings: Just pure fluff and the obviousness of them loving each other and needing to get together. This may suck but honestly it’s just meant to be a short cute story.

As another roll of thunder shook the compound, you buried yourself under more covers. You were shaking in fear, the lightning flashing across the sky. 

It was probably around 2 or 3 am, but honestly you didn’t know. Fear was weird, making the hours start to blend together at this point. But it could have also just been exhaustion. You hadn’t been able to sleep all night, too afraid to from the raging storm outside.

Screw this, I’m an Avenger for God’s sake, I can deal with one storm. You thought to yourself, but that confidence immediately left when moments later, another round of lightning streaked across the sky.

Everyone was probably calmly asleep, with not a care in the world. You have never been more envious of your team mates. You were so, so tired and had a long day tomorrow, but sleep wasn’t even an option with your anxiety through the roof all night.

Your heart was beating so fast you thought you were having a stroke. Maybe I’m dying? You thought. At least it would take you out of your misery. After all, you can’t be scared when you’re dead. But even you were not that lucky, you supposed.

You had been battling yourself since the storm had started. Should you go to Thor’s room or not? You haven’t because it was so embarrassing, what adult was terrified of storms? But you had been friends for years, and he was just across the halls. He helped you through everything and you were too scared to be alone right now.

“No, I am not a child. I’ll be fine right here.” You promised yourself for the umpteenth time. You were resolved, you weren’t going to run into his room and bother him with something as dumb as your ridiculous fear of storms.

But when you heard wind rattling the trees in the night and huge bolts lightning light up the night sky, you were a goner. So, being the coward you were, you finally had enough. You ran out of the room, your shaking legs taking you quickly across the hall and outside the door of Thor’s room. You knocked, just to be polite, but when you heard nothing you just assumed he was sleeping. So you just quietly opened the door, tiptoed over to his bed, and crawled into it beside him.

He was snoring, loudly and deeply. If you weren’t terrified of waking him up and of course, the raging storm outside, you probably would have laughed.

You were crawling into bed very slowly, pausing whenever he would shift or a break would come in his snoring. When you were finally tucked into his bed, beside him, you were enveloped in his smell. Pine tree, the smell of rain, and a scent that was just...Thor. You breathed it in deep, the mix of it all making you feel safe and protected from the violent storm outside.

Your fear soon started washing washing away and you could feel your eyes suddenly start to droop when he moved, turning in your direction. You immediately held still, careful to not move in order to not possibly wake up the god. 

He snuggled into you, holding you close and putting an arm around you. Then, his deep snores started once more. As awkward as this position was, it relaxed you even more. Thor was simply your best friend, nothing more. But you couldn’t help but be secretly glad that he was in this close, intimate position with you. 

You ignored the fluttering of your heart, guessing that it was just all the anxiety you had been through that night. You leaned in and cuddled with him as well. Moments later, thunder shook the compound the loudest it had all night, but you didn’t care. You were finally calm and sleeping, a faint smile on your face as you were tucked in next to the Avenger.

You heard noises before you opened your eyes the next morning. It sounded like a shower was being turned on. You ignored it and decided to go back to bed, snuggling back into the comfy covers. Then, before you drifted back to sleep, you noticed it. Thor’s scent was all over these covers. It made no sense, none at all. That was, until you remembered last nights events. The big storm, your fear, you sneaking in and cuddling with Thor.

You shot up, cheeks blazing from embarrassment. How were you going to explain this to him? The bed was empty beside you, so you knew he was in the shower. He had to see you this morning, you were hugging him like a giant teddy bear for God’s sake. 

You didn’t want anyone to know of your fear. Why would you? The rest of the Avengers went through hell and back and lived to tell the tale. They feared nothing. While you turned into a statue if you heard one roll of thunder. There was no way to get out of this. And you definitely couldn’t face him, what were you going to say? “Sorry, I am a huge baby and crawled into your bed last night because of a storm, then you cuddled me and I loved it and haven’t slept that good in years?” No, absolutely no way. You didn’t need to add even more embarrassment onto this already huge list of things to be embarrassed about. 

You looked at the door, wishing you could somehow magically teleport back into your room, where you were supposed to be. Maybe your friendship could survive this, of course considering that he even wanted to be friends with you after this, the girl who crawled into bed with him at 2 am without his consent. You could just ignore it, never talk about it, and with time, maybe it will be back to normal.

You were about to run to the door when you heard the shower stop running and Thor get out of it. The bathroom door was open, and soon you saw him saunter out of it with a towel wrapped about his waist, water droplets still streaming down his chest and v-line. 

Your eyes immediately opened wide at that sight. No wonder he’s a god. He was the hottest, most attractive man you’ve ever seen. Of course, as close friends you saw him shirtless sometimes, and you always thought he was attractive (I mean, you would have to be blind to not see it) but it never made you feel this...starstruck before. He was turned around, going through his dresser for clothes. So, you did the only thing you could think of it that moment.

You leaned back down and faked being asleep.

Sure, it was a coward’s move. But your pride was long gone. You already knew you were a coward last night when you crawled into bed with him. 

He finished going through his clothes, picking them out and you could hear the fabric rustling so you assumed he was getting dressed. Once the sound stopped, you felt his gaze harden on you. You had to fight the urge to not move while feigning sleep, but knowing that he was staring at you was making it pretty hard.

You felt the bed dip down under his weight as he got on it beside you and snuggled right back into you like the way you were together last night.

He moved your hair behind your ear and put his lips right next to your ear. You had to fight yourself to not give him more access to your neck, which was ridiculous. Why were you being so weird around Thor lately?

You felt him breath on your ear. “I know you're awake, Y/N.” Thor said in a singsongy voice.

Your heart dropped. How were you going to explain this? In your head, you knew that Thor was a kind and understanding person, but that didn’t mean you wanted to admit that you, someone whose literally job it is to face villains, couldn’t face a storm. You just didn’t want to get laughed at.

You sighed and opened your eyes. “Surprise?” You said. Maybe you could joke your way out of this mess. He loved jokes, and you knew that his big heart would trust that you weren’t lying to him.

He smiled his trademark dazzling smile and you automatically felt more comfortable, as you always felt when you were around him. You weren’t thinking about the situation you just got yourself into, all you could think of was, “Why wasn’t Thor the god of beauty? He certainly fits the job description.”

“Uh...thank you?” He said with a little laugh and a confused look on his face.

“Oh shit...did I just say that out loud?” You’re cheeks grew red and you started to hate yourself so much for how embarrassing you are

“Maybe, but I find it very endearing.” Thor replied, still smiling.

You had to clear your head, but whenever you were around him recently, you couldn’t. You shook your head quickly to try to gain any brain cells you had left. When you looked back up you saw Thor looking at you thoughtfully.

“So, not that I didn’t love sharing a bed with you, Y/n, but why were you in my bed last night? I wasn’t aware we had scheduled what you mortals call a ‘sleep over’.”

You swallowed thickly, quickly going in between answers to this question in your head. Should you say that you were possessed and woke up here? That you were just wanting to snuggle with your best friend for the night? You audibly sigh, you never were a good liar.

“Are you okay,Y/N?” You looked up at him and his worried expression. Thor was the kindest person you had ever met, and he never failed to make your day better. He didn’t deserve to be told a lie from his best friend. Especially when you know how much he hates lies, understandably because he was told them all the time from Loki, his mischievous younger brother. 

This was it. Were you going to lie and keep your fear to yourself? Or tell the truth and possibly bear the humiliation?

“Thor, I came into your room last night because I was scared. I’m afraid of storms and you always calm me down so I went in here to feel better. I’m so, so, so sorry. Really, it was-”

He cut you off by putting a finger up and saying, “Wait...you came into my room because you were scared?

“Uh...yeah?” “I calm you down and make you feel better, really?

Okay, not the way you thought this conversation was going to go at all, but at least he wasn’t focusing on your embarrassing fear.

“Yeah, of course you do. Are you not mad or something?” You asked. Why was he caring about that?

After saying that, then he looked at you like you were an idiot. “Why would I be mad? That’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever said to me. And many people have something to be afraid of, me included.”

You smile at Thor, just relieved that he was such a kind person. You had nothing to be nervous about, he would always be there for you. You were curious about him mentioning that he has a fear but then just decided that was a conversation for another time. 

“Thor, you are the sweetest person alive, I hope you know that.”

You both smiled and enjoyed each other’s presence. You were so grateful for such a great person in your life. 

Thor yawned before saying, “You know, I was going to work out but seeing you so comfy in bed makes me want to go back to bed. Want to sleep in?”

You give Thor a look. “Only if you make me waffles when we wake up.”

He rolled his eyes. “You humans and your weird breakfasts.”

You laughed and scooted over on the bed to make room for Thor. He got more comfortable and you moved back to cuddle with him almost immediately without even having to think about it, it was just instinct for you now.

You soon went to bed but before you fell back into deep sleep, you barely heard the comforting voice of Thor say, “I love you, Y/N.” before finally dozing off. Loud thunder could be heard once more in the room but you didn't care. You were finally cozy and cuddling with your favorite Avenger, his presence keeping the fear at bay. 

[limitlessgojo]

Blood Bound: Blackened Bond (Ch 14)

Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood

Previous SFW Chapter: Home Sweet Home

Previous Chapter NSFW!: The More You Know

Next Chapter: Shadows Fall

Tags: Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader

Taglist: @lessie-oxj @rizzo-nero @whoreuc @fkngkumiko @isl3t @gojoussunglasses @onepotatostand-blog @s-t-f-u-b-i-t-c-h @sunaswife @lordguameow @track5enthusiast

Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, and specify if you're okay with NSFW posts or not, please mention it in the comments below ty ❤

Extra Notes: This is my favorite chapter by far in this book, I've been wanting to drop this for weeks! I hope you enjoy reading. Part 2 of the story starts from here on until the end. Feel free to scream in the comments as usual XD

Chapter 14: Big White Lies

As the days passed by, the seasons changed. You started class in Spring. Summer has long passed and it is now the beginning of Winter. Noritoshi, as usual, was really busy so you didn’t see him as often. But you let it go.

You wanted to do something nice for him, so you had the idea to surprise Noritoshi. Having some cupcakes in a small bag and a fresh cup of coffee in your other hand, you were outside his door, hiding your presence and cursed energy to mask your identity.

As you raised your hand to knock on his door, you heard a second male voice.

"I'm glad to hear that you've been getting along with your soulmate son." His father's voice was heard over a speaker. Oh he was on call with his dad!

Yikes, not the best time to interrupt. It is impolite to listen into the conversation, but you were too excited to surprise him that you decided to wait for the call to end.

"Is Y/N really deeply in love with you? Make sure to not let her go. That will surely help our clan's reputation rise above with her skills being integrated into ours. She can definitely bear strong heirs for our clan. For centuries it was the Zenins that harnessed various types of jujutsu shi with strong techniques. It's time we continuously expanded ours as well. Starting with her." The Kamo clan head sternly ordered his son.

'Huh?'

"Yes of course father. Don't worry. She has already confessed her love to me so there's nothing to worry about. I'll do my best to make this clan proud and powerful. I definitely won’t let you down." Noritoshi replied.

The smile on your face slowly faded as your face turned to stone. Ah. Was that it?

Is that what you amounted to only? A tool for their use. A stepping stone for the Kamo clan to get stronger. You started to feel nauseous. Is this the so-called secret he didn’t want to tell you about…

You stood quietly as you continued eavesdropping.

"Excellent. Heh, looks like you can actually be a womaniser if you wanted to. Women are way too easy. As I told you before, give her sweet touches, use pet names, give her lots of encouragement and make promises here and there and they'll be by your side before you know it." His father snorted.

"Yes, I've taken your advice into consideration and did as you said." Noritoshi spoke firmly. Your heart was breaking with every word spoken.

"If you don't like her or how she looks, you can have several concubines and wives anyways. Have your pick. Remember Homura chan? Now she's a stunner. Didn’t you also say you found her cute?"

‘What on earth is this? Who is Homura? Why?’ Your hands start shaking badly, pulse thundering in your ears.

You felt light headed from the brutish words the Kamo clan head was saying, and silently retreated, not wanting to hear Noritoshi's response to his father. Keeping your presence and cursed energy hidden and as minuscule as possible while you walked back to your dorm room.

Because you had left you didn't hear the remainder of the conversation.

"Father, I respect that the older clan heads had several wives and concubines. And I’ve told you time and time again that I’m not interested in Homura san. But I've decided to be loyal to my one true soulmate. I think I am falling in love with her as well, and can't bear to see her hurt. I won't be taking in any concubines." Noritoshi politely replied.

It was the first time he had spoken about his true feelings out loud and he felt vulnerable. He braced himself for any harsh words from his father but none came.

His father only raised an eyebrow. "Suit yourself. The fact is, even if she doesn't give birth to an heir with the inherited Blood Manipulation, she is more than enough of an additional asset to our clan. And it ties us together with the Abe/Tsuchimikado clan as you know."

Clan politics. Noritoshi is getting more and more sick of it every day, but he just silently nodded. As long as he has you and his mother by his side, nothing else matters. "Yes I understand father."

Noritoshi hated talking about his family with you, because of this exact reason. He didn’t want you to be disgusted by this side of their family and get pulled into their family problems. The worst thing would be for you to have a terrible first impression of the Kamo clan.

He understood that you already had a lot on your plate as your missions grew harder and harder. You were often assigned to grade 1 missions alone already. The worst case was for you to get roped into doing messy tasks to please the clan elders.

◇◇◇

You paced around your room, staring at the cupcakes and coffee on your desk. They were getting cold.

Cold. That's how you felt inside and out. You had to confront him. Or else your relationship will just drag you down. You definitely didn't want him to have any concubines. Didn’t want to have a partner who didn’t love you after all.

You were so lost in your emotions that you didn’t realize you were jumping to several conclusions on your own without considering Noritoshi's feelings for you properly.

'But it was starting to make sense' Your mind was screaming at yourself. 'He never explicitly confessed his feelings. He does indeed give me mixed signals from time to time. He shuts me out of private matters to him. He could be using me.’

The one question that was breaking you apart now is: "Was everything a lie? How much of his actions were sincere? He could lie about anything. To get power, that's something the big 3 clans are capable of doing. Satoru told me of some of the horrors already…"

The doubt and feelings of betrayal piled up, until you came to one conclusion: You’ve had enough.

◇◇◇

The next day, you suppressed all your emotions and distracted yourself. You tried your best to act normal around Noritoshi, smiling brightly at him.

It wasn't too effective. Everytime he called you his angel, instead of the delight you usually feel, you felt hurt thinking he was forcing himself to do this.

This can't go on forever. And eventually Noritoshi could start to feel the pain in your heart on his end as well. He hurried to you one afternoon after class, dragging you out to the plum tree away from the buildings.

You looked up at Noritoshi. As handsome as ever. Gentle and concerned (lies), with a strong hand reaching to cup your face (lies lies), speaking so carefully, "My angel, how are you? Why are you troubled? Have I done something to offend you?" (Lies, it was all lies).

He must be lying. Must have been since day 1. The way your brain just jumped to the most terrible scenarios in which he never liked you. There's no other reason. Your breathing quickened.

Both of you were still in the first stage of the soulmate bonding; therefore, you couldn’t share all emotions yet. Just urgent and strong random flashes of it, especially negative emotions. This is why both of you weren’t able to feel the love the other has through the bond yet.

You stopped smiling.

"I overheard your conversation with your father. I'm sorry for eavesdropping, but I had a present for you that I wanted to give you yesterday, so I waited outside your room. But that doesn't really matter anymore." You said, cooly shrugging off the hand on your face.

He stiffened, whole body tensing. 'No it was going so well with you, this can't be happening.' He thought to himself.

"Y/n I can explain-"

"Did you even feel anything for me? Besides our red string of Fate appearing?"

The marks on your wrists flowed in warning, searing hot pain flashed across both of you. But you ignored it. The devil on your shoulder pushing you to break things with him.

"Tell me the words you and your father spoke about yesterday were a lie." You begged him.

He couldn't say it was, because the conversation yesterday was only filled with truths. He was so confused, so he stayed silent.

You laughed at him without any real meaning or humor. The light had gone out of your eyes. Noritoshi felt himself shiver at the sound of it.

"So it was all true. Did you like me for me? Or because I'm your so-called soulmate whom you forced yourself to “love”- pshhh not even love, probably to tolerate, for the sake of power?"

Noritoshi’s head felt unfocused and his palms were sweating.

“I’m just a fucking game to you huh Kamo?!” You were freely crying now. He winced at the use of his family name.

Noritoshi found that he couldn’t breathe properly, much less reply to you. He had never seen you like this. What’s worse is your intense fear, sorrow, and disgust towards him was radiating so strongly through your bond.

“No you’re not.” He could hardly get the words out with how hard he’s breathing. It actually felt like the red strings were tying themselves around his neck. You scoffed at him unbelievingly.

He trembled as he lifted both hands to cup your face, but you stepped out of his reach. His hands dropped.

"You liar. I don't want this. If you just want to use me for my body, and to use me for your gain and for your family's benefit only to toss me aside for other women, then I don't want it." You spoke hoarsely. Your entire body was stiff, hands cold and voice quivering.

Your bond was hanging by a thread. The emotions of pain and betrayal bleeding over and muddling the delicate bond.

"I'm out. Go find some other bitch to breed for your sake of your precious heirs. I don't care if we are a fated pair. If you don't wanna put even an ounce of trust and honesty into our relationship then just fuck off." You turned around and walked away.

"Wait, no I-" Noritoshi gasped out as he snapped out of his shock, but you didn't turn back. You walked faster trying to ignore the voice you loved hearing so much.

Even if it hurts to break apart from him now, it is better than to have your heart broken again and again by staying with him.

"Y/n I do care about you. I do think of you everyday. You’re not a game to me. Didn't you hear what I said yesterday?" He called out desperately, stepping forward.

You ignored him, digging your nails into the palms of your hands at the pain from your soulbond falling apart. 'I won't be fooled any longer'.

Your bond was screaming at you to turn around and believe him. To believe that everything you've felt with him these past few weeks were real. That he truly loved you.

"Listen to me!" Noritoshi cried out.

You halted in your tracks. "I'm nothing to you. If you want to have other women as your concubines, go ahead. I know you can pick up as many women as you want with your standing. You clearly don’t need me. So I don't need you." Your last 4 words are a harsh slap to his face.

Snap. And your bond was left barely hanging with the smallest red thread that stubbornly refused to let go. But the damage was done. He couldn't feel your emotions anymore as his head filled with white noise.

Panic overcame Noritoshi like never before. This wasn’t like his normal self. He didn’t let himself think about anything else, but to run and pull you back in his arms.

Until he was physically stopped by an invisible barrier. Your solid air barrier that blocks all sound and forms of matter on the other side, keeping him away from you.

“No, no, no, no. Y/n Come back! I’m sorry! Speak to me!” He cried, furiously pounding at the invisible wall between the both of you. But you couldn’t hear him, much less know how he is feeling. After all, you’ve ended it with him already.

After you left, he remained rooted to his spot. His forehead leaning against the barrier, tears streaming down his face, as he stared at the place where he saw your figure disappear. It wasn't long ago that he had just fallen in love with you.

Your warmth, your laughter, the touches you give to him. Now everything felt so cold. "But I need you." He whispered out, sounding so broken.

The last few wilted leaves of the plum tree fell, leaving it bare to the cold winter. He remembered the words in the soulmate records of the Gojo Clan. “A soulbond can be rejected.”

Maybe he should have told you everything from the beginning and not hold back any secrets. He was terrified that your opinion of him would change, if you found out about his background and his mother. So he wanted to slowly ease you into the Kamo clan.

This was the worst.

As the sky grew dark, he went back into his room and for the first time, didn't bother studying. Just went straight to sleep.

What he wouldn't give to feel anything from your end. Even if it was anger or hatred, it would be better than this empty feeling.

Author's Notes: This chapter was the first chapter I've written before all others and is how Blood Bound came to be. You could say this is the core of the story, since it's the origin. Just had an angsty afternoon one day and chose violence🥰🤧

Blood Bound: Table of Contents

[mcheang]

Hello. :) Lila is mistakenly identified as the person who committed a detention/suspension worthy offense. Her lies are revealed during the investigation. Marinette is the only person who believes Lila is innocent. Whether Lila is proven innocent is up to you. Redemption optional.

Where’s your evidence?

What are Lila’s current crimes?

Theft, truancy, lying, bullying

But now... blowing up the science lab?

Miss Mendeliev warned the class to be serious and pay attention to detail since they were experimenting with volatile chemicles.

She confiscated Rose’s perfume and pretty much all cell phones.

Lila even bragged about having done harder experiments. This blew up in her face quite literally. Everyone knew the explosion came from her desk.

Cameras proved it as well. It didn’t help Lila’s case that she was more focused on whispering stories than listening to Mendeliev.

Lila protested she did exactly what the instructions said. Do you think she would have wanted her looks to be ruined by an explosion? (Mostly everyone escaped unharmed but Lila’s face had minor burns and her hair was singed)

No matter. Lila will be suspended and her mother will have to pay for the damage to the lab.

Mrs Rossi was called over and told of the incident. She tried to appeal for a lighter punishment. Honestly, with the school being shut down for months, (online classes notwithstanding) is it really a good idea for Lila to miss more school?

Damocles: shut down?

Lila’s brain: oh crud

Bustier: what are you talking about? The school has never been shut down for more than a day. Ladybug and Chat Noir defeat the akuma within the hour. 2 at most.

Mrs Rossi: that’s not what Lila told me. It’s why she’s been at home for months now, with all these akumas around your school

Damocles: I do not deny Dupont is an akuma hotspot, but we have not been shut down for months!

Bustier: in fact, Lila told us the reason for her absence was because you were taking her to Achu on another diplomatic mission

Mrs Rossi turns to stare at her shrinking daughter. “I have never even been to Achu. Lila, have you been playing truant for months? Why?”

Knowing blaming Ladybug will get her nowhere, Lila claims to be afraid of being akumatized again after her Volpina incident. Or around akumas.

Mrs Rossi: that’s no reason to lie to me! I could have just tranferred you to a different school!

Bustier: out of curiosity, does Lila have tinnitus? Or even knows Jagged Stone?

Mrs Rossi: what does that have to with anything?

Bustier: Lila has been claiming numerous ailments in her efforts to help charities and from hanging out with her celebrity friends

Mrs Rossi: well, while I know Lila has mentioned being part of charity events, I can assure you she is perfectly healthy and all her friends, except her boyfriend Adrien, are not famous.

Bustier: Adrien is still single and is most assuredly not dating Lila.

Damocles: perhaps it’s her lying disease acting up. The one that makes her lie uncontrollably

Mrs Rossi: ...that’s called compulsive lying, you egghead!

Damocles: but...wouldn’t that mean she was lying about Miss Dupain-Cheng?

Bustier: I’m afraid so.

Damocles: I’m going to have to apologize to her again, aren’t I?

Both women: obviously

Needless to say Lila is expelled instead of suspended, though Mr Damocles decides to conduct a proper investigation before making it official

Lila is forced to confess in front of the whole class.

Kim: so the explosion was probably some attempt to make us feel sorry for you!

Lila: are you kidding me? If I wanted to make you feel sorry for me, I wouldn’t actually hurt myself to do it! I am telling you for the last time, I followed those lab instructions and no, I did not misread the chemical labels.

Alix: probably too busy bragging to bother checking

Marinette: i cannot believe i am saying this, but I think Lila is innocent about the lab explosion

No one misses the irony of the situation. After Lila herself framed Marinette, and the latter kept on calling her a liar, now Marinette is the only one defending Lila and insisting the latter was framed.

Alya: girl, I know you like to forgive bullies and all, but this is a bit much

Marinette: i haven’t forgiven Lila. I’m just being logical. Vain as she is, do you honestly think Lila would risk injuring her appearance? She favours fake injuries not real ones. Even if she can’t stop talking about herself, she knows when to pay attention.

Mendeliev: be that as it may, the proof is in the footage. Lila used the wrong chemicals and now the lab still smells of smoke

Marinette: maybe the labels were mixed up?

Pause. Ok, that could be true, except...

Mendeliev: impossible. It wasn’t only me who checked the lab preparations. It was double checked by lab assistants and triple checked by Caline.

Caline nodded. “It’s true. Everything had been labelled correctly. I am sorry but Lila has to take responsibility for her carelessness.”

Lila: oh for crying out loud, if I lie and said something glamorous, would you believe I am innocent then?

Lila was taken away. It would take time for her mother to find a new school that would accept such a troublesome student, but in the meantime, Lila would need to find a job. Her allowance has been cut off and the damage costs were paid out of her own funds.

Marinette talked to Tikki about this. The former still believed Lila was innocent. Tikki herself decides to give Lila the benefit of the doubt, but the evidence is hard to deny.

Marinette: we could see Lila reading the instructions and labels in the footage. I wonder what’s really going on.

That night, as Marinette slept, Tikki confronted Plagg.

Plagg: so I switched some labels. It’s not like anybody saw me.

Tikki: that was really dangerous

Plagg: please. You’re talking to the kwami of destruction. Like I don’t know how to mix chemicals. Pfft.

Tikki: but why now? After all the horrible things Lila has done, why now?

Plagg: after a couple of joint photo shoots, she complained that Adrien stinks of my cheese to his dad, and now I’m stuck with plastic-wrapped cheese sticks.

Tikki sighs. Of course.

Plagg: besides, think of the good it did. Liar girl is exposed and out of our lives. (True. Lila has decided to move on from Dupont)

Tikki: I still feel sorry for her mother having to pay for the damage you caused

Plagg: think of it as the cost for not properly raising her daughter.

Tikki: you could have caused an akuma.

Plagg: but i didn’t.

Tikki: actually why didn’t we see any butterflies? There should have been enough negative emotion for Hawkmoth to send one.

Plagg: gee, maybe because the riot across the city was angrier than a school issue? (Lately the akumas came from them)

Tikki: oh yeah.

[whatifxwereyou]

The Oncoming Storm Part 28: Big Bad Wolf

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

Just when you think that things were getting a bit more under your control shit gets incredibly real. Why does it feel that things are going to get worse before they get better?

The choice is coming, but have a bit more plot first. Don't worry, I'll break up the angst with some fun soon enough. Y/N needs a hug, right? Hoping to do some more art of her today too. Also, wanted to say thanks again for reading. You guys are the best ;_;

Part 27 Part 29 Chapter Index

Grounding exercises helped and while you were still shaky, you managed to get cleaned up and ready for the day. As you made your way toward Raiden’s chamber, you felt considerably more put together than you had only moments ago. Hopefully, that would be enough false confidence to fool everyone else into believing it, too. The good news was that you didn’t think that Raiden had any interest in your emotional state and he likely wouldn’t pry. You were grateful for that.

Sometimes with trauma you just wanted to move on instead of dwelling on something that was so far beyond your control you had no idea where to begin with coping.

Turning the corner, you found Kung Lao walking toward you. You were relieved to find that he looked much better than the day before. Color had flooded back to his face and while he was still bruised and bandaged, he seemed chipper. You waved at him in greeting and then, much to your surprise, he picked you right up off of the ground, spun you around, and then set you back down on your feet.

“Whoa, hey!” You laughed, getting the shivers. He was back to his old self again. “Someone’s feeling better.” You peeked at the bandages you could see and he didn’t swat you away. In fact, he seemed pretty proud that you were checking on him.

“Much better. A little sore but the fever’s gone so practically good as new.” He took a step back from you and nodded down the hall. “Yesterday is kind of a blur. Were you actually there with me or did I just hallucinate that you were?”

“…do you hallucinate often?”

“No, but…”

“Are these hallucinations usually of me?”

“I had a fever, Y/N.”

“Have you considered talking to someone about these hallucinations? Therapy is incredibly helpful.” You teased him and he rolled his eyes. “Yes, I was there with you. You were sick.”

“Did I give you a hard time? I felt terrible so that’s possible.”

“No harder than the usual.”

“Good!” He laughed but seemed relieved. What was he hiding, exactly? “Glad to hear it. What about you, Y/N? Are you feeling okay? No mysterious artifact-related illness?”

“Yes, I’m uh… I’m fine. As you said, I’m probably cursed, so I’m used to feeling like crap.” You had expected him to ask you but your voice still quavered nervously and you were annoyed with yourself. Covering it up with sarcasm was your only defense remaining.

“You are a terrible liar.” He didn’t get the chance to tease you further because Liu Kang was joining you from down the hall. Even from afar he looked terrible. He was still cute, but he looked like he hadn’t slept in a week and was paler than you’d ever seen anyone before.

“Oh no, Liu!” You gasped.

“Wow.” Kung Lao was laughing at his brother and so you smacked his arm to silence him but it didn’t work.

“Are you okay, Liu?” You glared at Kung Lao and then gave your attention back to Liu.

“I’ve already been to the infirmary.” Despite how gray he was, he smiled. “High fever but nothing I can’t handle.” He took a step back from you and tilted his head, looking you over from head to toe. Then he brushed his finger over your cheek just beneath your eye and you stiffened up in alert. Kung Lao was looking at him as though he had some nerve, too. Then you swatted his hand away and stepped back. “Have you been crying?”

You averted your eyes and tightened your lips. How could he have known? Just by looking at you? What kind of crazy in tune with your body and emotions was he? Kung Lao snapped to you in alarm and then pouted as if annoyed that he hadn’t noticed you’d been obviously upset. So much for having felt good about your façade.

“…no?” You’d taken too long to answer. Kung Lao’s pout faded and he chuckled.

“You are the worst liar, really. It was a joke at first but now I’m serious about it.”

“Is everything okay?” Liu was trying not to sound worried but was failing at it. You nodded to let him know you were fine. “Just… having a moment or…?”

“I… uh…” You wanted to say yes. That you’d had a moment. A moment where you’d needed a good cry. There was no point in you rattling through what you’d seen twice since you would have to tell Raiden. Besides, it was easier to talk to Raiden about these things. Discussion with him over it was clinical. Discussion with Lao and Liu was emotional. You could explain your bruised palms and the crazy ink web you’d created later. Oh, and the demon that had tried to murder you again. Instead, you stuttered and betrayed yourself.

“You had a vision.” Liu knew too much. He was too intuitive. He had to be stopped. Kung Lao stepped next to Liu and folded his arms over his chest in judgment. They were both judging you for trying to hide the truth from them. You huffed in frustration. How could he read you so easily? How had he known? Why couldn’t you have just said it had been hormones or something?

“Look, I’m going to talk to Raiden and I figured that I’d just tell him when I’m there. Don’t make me tell this story twice, please.” You stubbornly walked toward them and they stepped out of your way on either side of you to allow you to pass. Kung Lao caught up to you and walked alongside you on your left. He leaned over just enough to talk to you covertly.

“Are you okay?”

“I just said I didn’t want to talk about it.” You swatted him away but he kept walking closely alongside you.

“What did you see?”

“Guys! Really! I’m obviously doing okay.” You gestured to Liu who had joined you on your right and he laughed in surprise. “Liu is a different color today! Can we talk about that instead?”

Liu Kang and Kung Lao exchanged a glance in front of you and then spoke in unison. “No.”

You sighed and continued walking through the finally familiar halls. “Well, that’s too bad. I told you already, I’m fine. The most important person to talk to about this vision is Raiden. I’m not wasting my breath by saying it twice because you two are nosy.”

“Wow.”

“That’s harsh,” Liu coughed, covering his mouth with his arm as they caught up to you again.

“She’s wasting her breath, Liu.”

“I know, Lao. Here we are, worried about her, and she’s wasting her breath if she tells us what happened.”

“I hate you both so much right now.”

“Wow!” Kung Lao threw his hands into the air in mock aghast.

“She hates us now.”

“All because we care.”

“Oh my god.” You laughed and then walked faster to get past them. Them teaming up on you was intimidating but also hilarious. You sure wished that Chen’s voice wasn’t rocketing around through your brain. Your face was hot and you tried to breathe through it. Kung Lao caught up to you again and slipped his arm around your shoulder to slow your walk.

“We’re just teasing, Y/N.”

“I know how much you hate us worrying but we do worry and I’m no sorry for that.” Liu caught up slower than Kung Lao had, prayer beads wrapped around his palm.

“Especially since your arcana does violent things when you have those visions.”

“And your palms are bruised.” Liu tapped your wrist and you pulled your hands close to your stomach to hide them from him. Kung Lao pulled his arm back from your shoulder and took one of your hands, turning it over so your palm was facing up. He clicked his tongue in disapproval.

“Lying. Hiding bruises. Maybe you were right, brother. She has been spending too much time with me.”

“Okay, okay boys.” You chuckled nervously and snuck away nervously from Kung Lao’s grasp. “You’ve made your point. Now hush, before I tell Raiden on both of you.”

“Tell on us? For what? You’re the one who lied.”

“Very poorly, I might add.” Kung Lao grinned. You were no longer worried if he was actually feeling better or not. It was clear he was feeling just fine.

“You would think that with all the time I’m spending with you that I would be a better liar.” You teased in return. You were glad that Liu was at least feeling well enough to joke even if you had to slow down for him. “Get it together, guys.” You scolded and then walked with them into Raiden’s chambers which had been left open in anticipation of your arrival.

You bowed before Raiden who joined you from a doorway on the left. The joking mood you’d had only seconds ago faded. Within the room were the two pedestals that you recognized from when you’d given Raiden the artifacts. Both were encased in glass. Raiden walked between the pedestals and gestured to either side of him. “They are not to be touched without my permission by any of you.”

That was an interesting way to start the conversation but you each nodded in understanding. You weren’t eager to touch them again but had a feeling you would have to. Raiden glared at Kung Lao as though that warning had been meant specifically for him. Kung Lao looked up and away, feigning innocence. Raiden then walked before you, hands clasped together behind his back.

“They have eluded my sight but I have divined that they were cursed many centuries ago and tainted by many hands. They have been locked.”

“What does that mean, Lord Raiden?” Liu stepped closer to the pedestals to get a closer look but was careful to keep his hands folded.

“It means that whoever hid these items did not wish for them to be found. More than that, they did not wish to risk their cleansing. Either these are incredibly powerful tools or conduits for something else.”

“Conduits?” Kung Lao frowned and as he stepped closer, Liu held his hand out to stop him as if to remind him not to touch.

“There are many possibilities but my magic hasn’t uncovered them. They are protected by something powerful.”

“An elder god?” Liu theorized.

“That’s one possibility.”

“What can we do?” You chimed in. It was all well and good to theorize what they were and why but what you could do was what mattered.

“Well, Y/N, you were the one who located these items with your sight. I have a feeling that the same creature who cast a shadow over you is one of the more potent hands cast upon these artifacts. It’s why you saw him.”

“And I have seen him now.” You confessed, turning your attention to the floor. “I saw him before but his face was a blur when I woke. But now? Now I’ve seen him.”

“When?” Raiden didn’t seem as alarmed as Liu Kang and Kung Lao were behind him. Merely curious.

“We fought a creature in the springs protecting the jade. I saw him in the water. I saw him clear as day. If you know an artist then I could probably describe him for a picture or something. Then this morning I saw him again.”

“This morning?” Raiden tilted his head curiously and you felt alarm radiating off of Liu Kang just like his fire.

“I couldn’t see his face this time. He stood beside my bed.” You knew it hadn’t been a nightmare but it hadn’t exactly been a vision either. “Both times he was trying to hurt me. I woke up and my room was filled with ink but it was… it was different.�� You felt all eyes on you and you hated it. “It’s hard to describe. I’m sorry that I’m not better at this.” You bowed apologetically.

“You will get better with time. For now, I will read your vision as I had before with the protection of Liu Kang and Kung Lao. That will come later. Are you up for the task of trying to unlock these items, Y/N?”

“Me? Unlock them?”

“Yes. I think that your gift is connected to them. Perhaps your sight could be of some assistance in either unlocking them or for seeing a way to do so.”

“Yeah, I’ll try. Anything to help.” You bowed again and then walked between the pedestals nervously.

“Is this going to make me sick again?” Kung Lao sighed dramatically and Liu Kang shushed him.

“These are powerful and dangerous artifacts, Kung Lao. If I cannot solve this riddle then we will have to remove them from the temple. Or you will all be sick.” Raiden looked to him knowingly and Kung Lao bowed his head apologetically.

“I’m not ready to give up. Let me try.”

“Good.” Raiden walked past you and to the pedestals. With a brush of his hand against the tops of each protective container, the glass faded. You were momentarily stunned. His magic was wonderful and constantly took you by surprise. He gestured for you to join him and so you did.

“…what should I do?” You were lost. You had no idea where to begin. Even using your arcana was still nowhere near second nature to you. It was easier to do in the heat of battle or in the moment. This was premeditated and planned and more about your visions- something you had never mastered.

“Follow your gut.” Raiden instructed like that was something easy for you to do. “Touching them might help.” He stepped back to give you room.

You would try.

You touched the dotaku, fingers brushing along the ornamental designs. “Funny. It’s hot.” You admired the designs curiously. If it hadn’t been cursed then it would have been beautiful. The warmth of the bell wasn’t hot perse, but it wasn’t the natural temperature for a metallic object either. It wasn’t anything near even the inherent warmth of Liu Kang. More like a kettle that had been turned off a few moments before you’d entered the room. Raiden gestured to the jade and so you reached across the gap to touch the jade with your other hand.

It was like a hand brushed over your eyelids to close them. A hum resonated from the bell and through your body to the jade, using you to do so. You opened your eyes and when you did, the room was empty. All that remained were you and the artifacts.

You tried to snap your hands back but they were stuck fast to both items. The items wouldn’t budge from their places on the pedestals either. You tugged and pulled in a panic to try and get free your hands but it was no use. The items grew hotter and hotter beneath your touch, glowing with orange light and burning your palms.

“Let go!” You shouted in frustration, trying to tug your hands free. Then the horned man was in front of you. Skin gray and sick, eyes milky white and staring into yours. His mouth moved but not in time with the words that came out of him in a hiss.

“You will not see.” The eerie whisper traveled all around you and filled you with inescapable dread. Your legs were literally trembling beneath you. You would have crumpled in a heap had you not been trapped and stuck to the artifacts.

“Why?” You sounded rather brave for someone who had no leg to stand on. “What are you?” He tilted your chin toward him with his index finger, as if you were something too filthy for him to properly touch. His hands felt disgusting. Cold. Clammy. You shrunk away from his touch and he clutched your chin. Then his whole body was wrapped in shadow and his hand snapped to your throat so hard that you choked and were instantly without breath.

You tried to fight but there was nothing you could do and no escape. The squeezing on your neck was so intensely painful that you felt yourself fading and quickly at that. Then, for the first time, you watched as ink exploded from your hands, from your chest, spreading throughout the room, tearing through the shadow that held you prisoner.

You could breathe but your vision changed. Instead of Raiden’s chamber you saw smoke billowing from the windows of the temple, flames engulfing familiar halls. Rooms crumbled to pieces. Silhouettes of bodies laid still on the ground in the smoke, dark stains surrounding them. War was being waged on the temple! You tried to scream, to move, to help, but your hands were stuck fast. Clawed fingers ran over your arms and back to your neck, you felt each finger slowly wrap around your throat until you couldn’t breathe.

Your body was failing, limbs going numb, falling limp between the artifacts that held you prisoner. The hands grasped your face and obscured your sight and then suddenly your hands were free. The dotaku burned your hand as you let go and cracked with an ear-splitting shriek of grinding metal. As it had happened in your vision, ink exploded from within you and spread throughout the room, from wall to wall, floor to ceiling.

Liu ran to you and tried to pull you into his arms and you felt the hot spray of his blood splatter over your face and chest as the ink tore through his flesh. He fell away from you. You collapsed in a heap, unable to move, the ink taking every bit of your energy. Your body was prey to something far beyond your control. You couldn’t breathe and you tried to crawl away, to get to Liu Kang who was holding his bloodied arm. Skeletal creatures rose from the ink and a monster dripping with ink joined it. The ink had recreated the monsters you’d fought that protected the artifacts.

Kung Lao dodged them and tried to make his way through the ink web to get to you but it had crystallized and kept him at bay. He sliced through the webs with his hat, shouting words you couldn’t make out. He was making his way through but it would take too long to get to you or Liu.

“You have to breathe, Y/N!” Liu’s voice cut through the buzzing in your head but just barely. You tried to do as he asked but the more that you inhaled the more impossible it became to exhale and your lungs were so tight that you didn’t think you’d make it much longer. Ink was spreading further and further throughout the room. If you didn’t stop, you were going to kill them.

Suddenly you were burning all over as a jolt of electricity shot through you.

“Enough!” Raiden’s voice boomed like thunder and you collapsed in a heap on the floor. You gasped for breath, struggling, but at least you could get a little air. You couldn’t feel your fingers anymore and briefly the world had gone white. When your vision cleared the monsters were gone and the ink fell piece by piece before fading into dust. Your body was too frail to keep it up.

Liu rushed to your side and Kung Lao was only steps behind him. Raiden’s voice bellowed again. “Do not touch her!” You struggled to breathe, struggled to sit up, your body failing. No matter how you tried, simple things that you were used to doing just to exist weren’t working. There were spots in your vision and you tried to push yourself up to your knees but your arms were trembling. “What did you see?” You coughed and tried to speak through it but you tasted blood and collapsed back on your chest.

“She’s suffering!” Kung Lao started toward you again but lightning cracked in front of him to stop him.

“What did you see, Y/N?”

“A-a… a devil…” You managed to choke out. Pain radiated up your arm and through your shoulder, down into your chest. You grasped at the sleeve of your shirt and managed to find the strength to sit up just enough so you could pull the sleeve down. Your shoulder and chest were burning. You didn’t know what was there but you knew that something was there. It was tremendously painful.

“The bell.” Liu nodded to the crack in the bell. His arm was drenched in blood. You caught a glimpse of the bell and then looked to your shoulder where you could barely see the crack that spread from your shoulder and further beneath the lining of your shirt. You ran your fingers over it and pulled them back suddenly. Touching it sent fire through your body, agonizing shots of misery, like your bones were being burned from the inside out. Your breathing was labored again. “What does that mean? Raiden, what does that mean?”

“You are tied to these objects.” Raiden tilted his head in realization.

“What?” You had never seen Liu so mad. Kung Lao looked like it was taking every bit of his self-control not to say fuck it and run to you. “Why? And by who? How is this possible?”

“I only know the answer to one of those questions, Liu Kang. She just told us. A devil.” Raiden approached you then walked past you to the dotaku. You managed to lean up on your elbows while taking quick, shaky breaths but your whole body was rigid with pain. You could barely think, barely feel anything other than the white-hot agony spreading from your chest to your shoulder.

“Will she be okay?” Kung Lao was, again, restraining himself.

“I don’t know. I will try to repair the bell.” Raiden placed his hand so it was hovering only an inch above the metal. Lightning sparked in his hand and surrounded the metal of the bell, his eyes white and glowing. Then he pulled his hand back as if the bell had shocked him.

You pushed yourself onto your knees and stumbled to your feet. The blood rushed to your head and you nearly collapsed. Blood filled your mouth and you could feel it dripping from your nose. Liu Kang was at your side and helped you stay on your feet, his bloodied arm hanging uselessly at his other side. Kung Lao urged your other arm over his shoulder and helped keep you upright.

Liu Kang was glaring at Raiden furiously, as if he knew what would come next. You stumbled and Kung Lao wrapped his arm around your middle to help keep you upright. “You’ll be okay, Y/N,” he reassured quietly but you knew that none of you really understood what was going on.

“I must see what you saw.” Raiden stepped closer.

“She can barely stand, Raiden.” Liu seethed, his anger and frustration far quieter and much more frightening than Kung Lao’s outright fury.

“She needs rest first.”

“Time is of the essence.”

“No,” you choked, finally managing to find words. You grasped Liu’s hand that was too tight around you. “He’s right. He has to see.”

“Y/N, no, you’re too weak, what if he…” Kung Lao objected loudly. Before either of them could resist on your behalf, Raiden rested his hand on the top of your head.

Then there was pain.

Not even darkness.

Color swirling in your mind’s eye and the type of pain that you had only read of.

Then there was numbness, as if your mind had been removed from your body to spare you the pain.

Then there was nothing.

[topazy]

The Fierce And Broken

2.06

Masterlist

You stepped back and stared at Raven speechless, even in the darkness you could tell she was blushing. Did she regret kissing you? You hoped not.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I shouldn’t have done that. Now I’ve made things weird between us-”

Now it was your turn to cut her off. You pressed your lips against hers, she kissed you back and you remained like that until you pulled away to catch your breath.

“Um...I suppose we should go to bed,” Raven said in a soft chuckle.

“Yeah it’s late, and I imagine you need to rest that brain of yours.”

Raven flopped down onto the bed, “you have no idea.”

—

Tracking a person down in a small camp was surprisingly hard. You were about to give up when you heard Abby’s voice. “And where's Marcus now? Imprisoned still? You're just going to leave him there? Like the kids in Mount Weather? If we run, who's going to rescue them?”

“You weren’t there, Abby. I saw them. Warriors trained since childhood to fight and die for their cause. As we speak, they are marching on this camp. And trust me when I tell you, the right choice is to live, so that we can come back and fight another day.”

“Inspirational words from a man who sent children to their deaths,” you ignored the look on Jaha’s face and looked directly at Abby. “Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to tell you I’m accepting your offer. I’ll train with you.”

A smile spread across the doctors face, “good. I’m so glad you are taking this opportunity, your father would be so proud.”

You frowned at her comment and left the room not interested in the deceit of it all. None of the adults who came from the ark cared about anybody else expect from themselves or their children, you could understand that but not the acting like one happy family.

—

“Hey,” you whispered entering the tent.

Raven let out a groan before sitting up, “what time is it?”

“Early, very early.” You crawled onto the bed and laid down face first. “Nothing new has happened since last night.”

“Can I ask you something?” Raven sounded nervous. You turned to face her and nodded. “Last night...that kiss... I didn’t weird you out did I?”

“No, that’s why I kissed you back.”

She smiled at your comment. You knew it must be hard for Raven to try and avoid any awkwardness around the situation. “Good, because I was afraid you wouldn’t have kissed me back.” Her confession took you by surprise. “I think you are amazing Alba, I really do-” she paused for a moment trying to find the right words. “Me and Finn are over, but a part of me is still hurting and I don’t want to use you as a rebound. I’ve already made that mistake with Bellamy and you are to import for me to risk it.”

“I’m happy being friends if you are?” Truthfully you were a little disappointed, but you admired her honesty.

The brunette let out a frustrated sigh, “I do want to be more with you Al but-I’m scared to rush things in case I get hurt again, or even worse I hurt you.”

“Did you just ask me to go steady with you Reyes?”

“I did,” she laughed before leaning back next you on the bed. “So what do you say?”

You linked your fingers with hers, “I suppose so.”

Raven shoved you playfully. You filled her in on the conversation you overheard between Abby and Jaha. She still couldn’t believe that you confronted Abby on behalf of her. Your unusual moment of calmness was interrupted by Clarke barging into the tent, the blonde was in her usual frustrated state and was oblivious to you and Raven holding hands. “Y/N we have a meeting with the commander right now.”

You sat up fast, “we?”

“The commander won’t listen to me on my own, you still have the bruising from what the mountain men did.”

Rolling your eyes you stood up with a groan. “Yeah, I can show them it as proof I get it. Can you give me a minute?” Clarke stared at you blankly. “Jesus Griffin, I’m wanting to change okay.”

“Fine, but we need to leave in a couple of minutes.”

Quickly you changed your top into a more appropriate one. Running in a thin vest top wasn’t a good idea. Once your jacket was on you made sure to have Anya’s hair in your pocket. “You don’t need to go, If you don't want to.”

You gave Raven a sad smile before making sure not to forget anything important. “If there’s a chance to get our people back I need to try,” you squeezed her hand. “Stay safe Reyes, I’ll be back soon.”

—

“If you so much as look at her the wrong way, I will slit your throat.”

You gulped down at Gustus’s threat. You fully believed he would kill you and Clarke without a second thought. Another grounder stepped forward and introduced the commander.

“You're the one who burned three hundred of my warriors alive,” the commander's words were laced with venom as she spoke.

Clarke stepped forward, “you're the one who sent them there to kill us.”

“Do you have an answer for me, Clarke of the sky people?”

Answer? You frowned at the blonde standing next you. She has failed to mention any kind of deal, or questions had been discussed prior to this meeting. Clarke had an answer for her, “I’ve come to make you and offer.”

The commander's expression remained the same and emotionless, Clarke had really pissed her off. “This is not a negotiation.”

Another grounder spoke to the commander in trig. You didn’t know many words but you did pick up on ‘kill her’, You looked at Clarke confused. Was she trying to get you both killed?

“I can help you beat the mountain men.”

“Go on.”

As the commander spoke you noticed the other grounder eyeing you suspiciously. “Hundreds of your people are trapped inside mount weather, kept in cages. Their blood is used as medicine.”

“How do you know this?” The commander wasn’t believing her story.

“Because I saw them,” she stepped closer again. “My people are prisoners, too. I was one of them. We both were.”

“Lies!” The angry grounder stepped forward. “No one escapes the mountain.”

“We did. With Anya. We fought our way out together.”

“Another lie. Anya died in the fire. You killed her!”

“She’s not lying,” you said. “The mountain men are taking blood and bone marrow from both our people.”

The commander still looked unconvinced. Sighing you pulled your jeans down low enough to reveal your large bruise that has still yet to heal. “They took my bone marrow. I found Clarke inside mount weather, and while trying to escape we found Anya. We only had time to save her, but I intend on keeping my promise to return and free the others.” You reached into your pocket and pulled out the braid of hair. “Anya told me you were her second, I’m sure she’d want you to have this.”

“We don’t even know it’s hers”

“Anya was my mentor before I was called to lead my people,” the commander turned to face you and Clarke. “Did she die well?”

“Yes. By my side, trying to get a message to you.”

You couldn’t decide if Clarke’s memory of what happened was fuzzy, or if she was a really good liar. The commander held her hand up to Indra, “what message?”

“The only way to save both our people is if we join together.”

“Those who are about to die will say anything,” Indra spat. “The one you call Alba doesn’t seem conceived by Clarke of the sky people.”

Oh shit. Suddenly all eyes were on you. “Anya called me Heda gon bàsmhorachd, and heda gon mathanas and said one is a gift and the other is a weakness. “

The commander glanced from you to Clarke, “I’m still waiting for an offer.”

“The mountain men are turning your people into reapers. I can turn them back.”

Indra began ranting and yelling in trig.

“I’ve done it with Lincoln.”

You glared at Clarke as she said his name. Lincoln had always been good to your people. He’d saved Octavia, you, and Finn multiple times. Last time he tried to make peace it cost him his own people and Clarke had just given his location away.

—

Soon as you arrived back at camp Jackson said he needed your help. You excused yourself much to the dismay of Indra but the commander didn’t seem to care. After countless attempts of bringing the patient's temperature down Jackson eventually managed. He explained with such little resources it was becoming harder to help people.

“Hey doctor.” Turning to face the doorway you smiled seeing Raven gave you a confused look. “What are you doing?”

“We are short of blood so I’m doing what I can to help,” you shrugged. It was also a good reason to avoid any grounders that where still in camp. The interaction from before had left a sour taste in your mouth, although a part of that was because of Clarke.

“We should start calling you saint Alba,” Raven leaned against an empty table. “How did it go?”

“Truthfully I have no idea, Clarke told them she can turn reapers back into normal people.”

“Can she?”

“I’ve no idea you,” you pouted. “She’s not one for sharing what’s going on. I was completely blind sighted by some things that were said. I guess we can’t do anything but wait and see.”

“Do you trust them?”

You thought about it before answering, the grounders had no reason to trust the ‘sky people’ so they probably didn’t. “I think they will still have a ace up their sleeves. How did your day go?”

Raven shrugged, “still no change.”

Jackson entered the room just as the bag had filled with enough blood. He thanked you and removed the needle from your arm. Technically it wasn’t a good idea for you to be given blood after everything your body had been through recently but it was desperate times. You stumbled slightly when you stood up but Raven caught hold of you. “Al? You should sit back down.”

You gave her a lopsided grin, before gently kissing her. Raven smiled into the kiss before leaning back, “if you need anymore blood I can always donate.”

“Glad to hear, I’ll be back in a moment.”

You shared a look with Raven, “is he everywhere?”

Shaking your head you got out of the chair and let Raven sit in it. “I’m going to get changed, do you want anything from the tent?” Raven shook her head. “I’ll see you soon Reyes.”

—

Lifting up a cleanish top you changed into, and threw the previous one that was now covered in your blood to the side along with the rest of your dirty clothes. You had accidentally pulled the needle out when Jackson first put it in resulting a good top being stained.

You stepped out of the tent and saw Clarke walking back from the gates, she noticed you and walked over. “We saved Lincoln.”

“That’s great,” you were glad to hear Lincoln hadn’t died. He deserved better than to die as a reaper.

“Commander Lexa-”

“I need to stop you there Clarke,” you pointed towards the gates the grounders had just left though. “I’m not interested in any of that.”

“Your not interested in saving our people?”

The accusation that you didn’t care about your people after everything you’d been through together stung. “No, I want to save our people and the grounders who have been taken. But I don’t trust Lexa.”

“She is our best chance of helping.”

“Is she?” You saw the furious look on her face. “I’m just saying we don’t know enough about them, and she’s not going to just give us a alliance we will need to work for it.” Clarke’s silence confirmed your fear. “What has the commander offered you?”

“She will fight with us to get all of our people back.”

“What does she want in return?”

“Finn.”

[lettersfromkokichiouma]

“hey hey! i have something really really important to say!

soooo the mod’s been having a really tough time lately with their mental health...

annnd he knows how hard that is for a lot of you too, so ze just wanted me to remind you all how totally amazing you are! 

liiike the fact that you’re still here is sooo impressive! dealing with mental health issues can be really hard, but you survived all that! you’ve made so much progress and im super happy that you’re alive right now!

...but your brain might be telling you not to believe a liar like me huh? and telling you dumb things like you’re worthless or stupid...

welllll those are all just lies! as a liar, i know what’s a lie and what’s not, and your brain is definitely lying to you.

i’ve known tons of D.I.C.E. members who go through stuff like this too and it’s soooo hard to convince them how beautiful they are when their brain is lying to them like that!

so just hear me out for a second, ‘kay?

i pinky promise you i’m not lying when i say how amazing you are! and an amazing person like you deserves to live an amazing life, y’know? you deserve sooo much more than to just feel worthless all the time.

and i know you’re feeling really hurt, but you can get through this. you’re strong enough, i promise, and i’m proud of you for making it this far. i’ll be cheering you on as long as you need me to!

annnnnd someday someone besides me will tell you that too y’know?

you’ll find someone who loves you just as much as i love all my D.I.C.E. members!

buuut for now, just remember you have the ultimate supreme leader on your side!"

-Kokichi Ouma💜💜💜