the thing about being the highest-ranked and most-decorated officer in any GAR/Guard capacity, fox thinks, is that unsurprisingly nobody could give less of a shit or listen to anything he says. it’s not like he earned those medals and recognitions and perfect test scores or anything, now is it, kote?
or, after the zillo beast disaster, the coruscant guard medbay just so happens to be much closer than the GAR one, and surprise surprise, senators don’t want meatdroids to be treated in their facilities after they’ve just protected them with their lives. fox tries to reason against this. fox is unsuccessful, because no one listens to fox.
which is how he finds himself crammed into a corner along with cody, ponds, bly, rex and their jedi, looking out across a medbay which is quite frankly a goddamn disaster rivalling the fight with the zillo beast in proportions. skywalker tries to step out towards one of the medics, and has to be pulled back by the collar of his shirt by amidala, squawking loudly when he’s nearly rammed over by mauler, crucifix and a shrilly screaming crash cart.
it’s not like fox said this would be a bad idea or anything.
“um, vod”, cody begins, unsure, “what’s - is that guy sewing wooley up with thread?!”
meathook, who is in fact sewing wooley up with thread, and looks about as happy about it as his patient, and who fox honestly thought was going to cry when he announced the influx of patients about to descend on them, snaps something about triage over his shoulder at hound, whose arm is decidedly bent in a way it shouldn’t be, jerking his head to gesture at the rickety cot next to cody’s ARC. fox is pretty sure they salvaged the thing from a dumpster. he slaps a bandage on the stitches that fox fears might be from the same dumpster.
“putting those advanced reconnaissance training skills to use, kote”, says fox, who invariably turns into the worst possible version of himself whenever cody opens his mouth within a klick of his vicinity.
skywalker harrumphs, evidently at the end of his impressive patience. “well, why?! hey, trooper! these men need bacta!”
“do they, now? i’m sorry, i hadn’t noticed”, a low voice hisses angrily behind them, and fox is the only one who doesn’t jump on account of he’s too dead inside to be scared of his CMO anymore. a grave error, he’s sure. “i guess i’ll just go pull some out of my ass along with a tank and painkillers, then! hadn’t thought of that yet!”
warcrime, whose eye is twitching and who is holding a bloody saw in visible consideration of using it, pins skywalker with a look that has had shinies all over the guard peeing themselves. “we don’t have any fucking bacta, you absolute numbskull.”
“but that can’t be right”, cody pipes up again, next to a very troubled looking generals kenobi and windu. fox sympathises very much with the patented migraine-glare on windu’s face. “why do you not have any bacta?”
“because i like to smear meiloorun juice all over my patient’s stab wounds, commander”, warcrime says. “it’s a homeopathic medicine thing. because the chancellor refuses to give us any, genius.”
“what?!” skywalker says, bristling. “that can’t be true! he wouldn’t -“ he’s cut off by his comm pinging loudly over the moaning and crying in the medbay, and warcrime leaning close enough to be heard with a whisper.
“well, he would, and if you don’t believe me, there’s a holorecording of him telling marshal commander fox why biological weapons on the homefront have lower priority and therefore half rations of everything. now get out of my medbay or find out why they named me warcrime, sir.”
amidala, the collective braincell holder for both her husband and the senate combined (on occasion), tugs him out of the way of warcrime’s bonesaw and ire. fox, who very much enjoys not being the primary target of a medic for once, unfortunately also has to be the adult in the room. “sirs, a transfer to the GAR barracks medbay might be a preferable- AH, MOTHERFU-“
“get him, stabby!”, rabid whoops from where he’s resetting thire’s nose, who echoes a much more nasal and muffled, “go, ftabby!”
“get kriffing FUCKED, stabby, you absolute-“, fox seethes, trying to swipe for the medic’s head and nearly planting one on cody instead by accident, who unfortunately manages to evade the swing fox is admittedly projecting very obviously on account of the sedation hypo jammed into his flank.
“medbay rules, sir”, stabby calls, dancing away towards mauler and his crash cart, while someone bumps something solid and flat against the backs of fox’s thighs that he can’t help but tumble back on, already seeing two codys and blys dancing around his vision. “commander fox protocol dictates he is to be helped to sleep as often as possible, sir.”
“a desperate but well-founded measure, i’m sure”, kenobi of all people agrees, and fox waves an unsteady hand in what might be the general’s direction to the sound of cody’s scandalized gasp. “as you were, officer… stabby.”
“traitors”, fox slurs, just as his com-unit begins to ping with an urgent notification. before he can try and answer it, warcrime has ripped it off his arm and flung it somewhere out of his sight. eh, it probably wasn’t anything THAT important, fox thinks. and if he wakes up two days later to a near-hysteric meathook kissing the glass casing of the guard’s brand new bacta tank over and over again, he decides to just roll over and go back to sleep.
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I get how Wels is really protective of the Hermits, but I think part of that has given Tango some prejudices about the Helsmets. I feel like he thinks of Tanguish as a defanged lion or something, like "oh Helsmets are dangerous, but mine's not so I can hang with him" and he's trying to convince his "parent" to let him keep the wild animal he's found. I feel like Tanguish trying to convince him the other Helsmets don't mean any harm is never going to work, but Tango is also not aware of some of the struggles the Helsmets can go through and doesn't realise they are capable of actually being nice to each other without tearing the other to shreds.
Tango has made one of my favorite blunders in media: he has mistaken no intent to harm with harmless. A harmless thing couldn't hurt you even if it wanted to. A thing with no harmful intent could do a great amount of harm, but does not wish to.
I think you're very right in saying he treats Tanguish like a tame lion. He isn't really a person. He's certainly more of a person to Tango than he is to Welsknight, but he's still a step down. Tanguish is his pet hype man, a rubber duck that happens to occasionally have opinions, a toothless predator.
Personally! I think this is less a flaw of Welsknight's influence, and more a flaw in Tango. Welsknight has done a lot to heck up the situation, don't get me wrong, but his has more to do with making Tango doubt his relationships. Tango didn't treat Tanguish like his own person before Wels found out about him.
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It's frustrating to me that so many resources for coping with suicidal ideation seem to run on the assumption of SI being an exclusively acute experience. Almost all of them start with something like "Remember, this is just a temporary feeling, and like all feelings they pass eventually!" and then they give short term solutions like grounding techniques, or distraction techniques, or breathing exercises, or nervous system regulation exercises with the purpose of calming down enough to get through these few rough moments of being dysregulated and upset.
And I'm not saying they're bad techniques, a lot of these things can be helpful when you're dealing with distressing emotions and feelings and can help them pass more smoothly. It just doesn't really translate to my experience of chronic, near constant suicidal ideation on some level for years, regardless of the circumstances and what I'm feeling.
When suicidality has just been your default, when it doesn't matter what emotions you're experiencing, when it's just a reality you have to deal with... you can't "calm your nervous system down" to a point where it gets rid of the thoughts; you experience them dysregulated and you experience them calm. You can't distract yourself from your entire life. "Don't worry, this is just temporary!" feels insensitive bordering on cruel.
I get that it's harder to give generic advice or coping skill in the situation of always having some level of suicidal ideation going on. But it sucks trying to seek help and basically none of the solutions are super helpful for your situation.
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I say a lot that Wash isn't empathetic when talking about people giving him Carolina's personality, but I don't think that really explains my thinking. Empathy is too vague of a concept in discussion of character.
Wash cares a lot about people. Wash cares so much it hurts. He trains the Chorusans without being asked, on his own initiative. He doesn't leave the reds and blues at the first sign of trouble. He's traumatized by violence by his own hand that he still agrees with the logic of, he remembers what he's done to people and while he doesn't regret it, it still haunts him. He doesn't want to care so bad but he does, he cares so much that violence against relative strangers hurts. Even if it was his best choice. Even if it was his only choice.
Carolina doesn't want people to know violence like she does. Carolina wants to tackle the whole world to keep it away from the ones she loves. Carolina wants to be the one to handle everything, to keep war off the doorstep.
Washington knows violence, and well. He thinks it is something that sometimes is the best option. He knows how to make the people he loves capable of protecting themselves. So he does.
Carolina is someone who wants to protect. Washington is someone who wants to teach people to protect themselves. Carolina wants to be the one to offer shelter in the rain. Washington wants to burn the fire so hot and so bright the rain evaporates before it can ever touch them, so hot it never even comes down, so bright no one could ever get lost. And he wants to teach everyone he cares for just how to do it, too.
Just in case it ever rains.
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