#than a sign that the politics in that movie were bad

[chabbit]

I caved and decided to watch FFXV Kingsglaive before finishing the game and tbh I think if I were Regis I would have just stabbed the emperor at the signing instead of playing cute little word games. Like at that point he knows Niflheim isn't actually aiming for peace. The emperor chose to go to the peace signing and sit directly next to a guy who can famously summon like a hundred sword at once, if he gets stabbed that's on him. Empire can't fight a war and go after Noctis if they're dealing with a succession crisis. Let them eat each other alive, it's not your problem.

I mean obviously it wouldn't have worked because no one knew about Glauca or I guess Ardyn at that point (was he in the room?), but crucially I (as the fictional king of Lucis) also would not have known about them. I would have just stabbed that motherfucker. Regis my guy you are a warrior king. You can summon a hundred swords!! That's more than enough for all the higher ups who, crucially, are sitting in the room with you!!

I mean yeah it's a bad look to kill a bunch of foreign leaders "unprovoked" during peace talks but who's left to do diplomacy with anyway? Niflheim?? Who don't actually want peace anyway??? Maybe they'll think twice about fucking with you if you cut the head off the snake. Literally.

[todayisafridaynight]

Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

[transrevolutions]

While overall I felt like the tbosas movie was well done, there's one part that really bothered me. When Sejanus gets involved with the rebels in the book, he's fully on board, stealing them ammo and weapons from the base, and planning to hold guards at gunpoint to free the prisoners. In the movie, however, he just wants to run away and then is surprised and upset by the fact that the rebels were planning an act of violence.

This doesn't seem like a major change, but from a political standpoint (as tbosas is a very political book), it's a big one and one I very much do not like.

In the text, Sejanus plays the role of the moral compass. Whereas both Coriolanus and Lucy Gray having complex and subjective motivations, Sejanus is always driven by wanting to do the right thing, even if it costs him. He acts as a baseline, keeping the readers from getting lost in endless loops of justification for atrocities just because Coriolanus's internal narration is rhetorically persuasive.

So when Sejanus (who up until this point has been relatively pacifist) joins up with the rebels in the book and agrees to participate in an act of revolutionary violence, the text is pointing out that that act of rebellion is morally permissible. That even violence against the oppressor class can be an altruistic action. Sejanus planning to fight the guards with the rebels is not a sign of his corruption, it's a sign of the fact that his society has become so corrupt that not doing it would be morally worse than doing it. After all, someone's going to die either way, so why not have it be the oppressors?

If movie!Sejanus is still occupying the role of the moral compass (which he seems to be), then his dismay at the possibility of the rebels using violence acts as a narrative condemnation of the violence, when the opposite is true in the book. The movie tries to make a distinction between the "good" dissenters (pacifist, nonviolent, morally superior) and the "bad" dissenters (violent radicals/terrorists). In the current political climate, this idea and narrative is extremely unsettling. And I'm disappointed they did this, but not surprised. Like the other Hunger Games movies, it was produced by a large media company, and they can't follow the satire of the book too closely lest people realize the fundamental irony of it. People in positions of power do not want to tell a story where violent activism is portrayed as moral--at least when it's against a society that obviously mirrors our own. (The brutalist architecture style is another complaint that I have, but that can be discussed in another post.)

Changing that seemingly small detail about Sejanus's involvement with the rebels doesn't do much to change the continuity of the storyline, but it does a lot to change the underlying message of his character and the story. This was almost certainly intentional, because the same sort of thing was done in the original trilogy movies as well. Companies are scared of subversive media because it makes them look like the 'bad guys' too, so they wrap rebellion in a lens of fantasy and moderatism.

[romanticintheory]

on my knees BEGGING for more price and civilian!reader. i just read it and i can’t stop thinking about all the cute itty bitty interactions- their date, their convos, maybe him meeting her surprisingly scary dog (currently in love thinking about COD men and K9s yknow?).

Like if there’s not a single supporter for this, i’m dead in a ditch somewhere

what it's like dating john price as a civilian.

john price x gn!reader

part 1

more fluff, more domesticity, me being down bad

a/n: KSAHDASDKJ im so glad u love them as much as i do!! hope this does them justice for u <3

-

the date went really well, thankfully. he showed up at your place ready to pick you up with the bouquet of flowers he knew you deserved. call him old-fashioned, but he was adamant on making sure you didn't have to lift a finger for anything.

hell, he even asked you why you were standing out there in the cold by yourself, saying, "i could have come to your door so you didn't have to freeze all the way out here, sweetheart!"

he held out his hand for you to take as he guided you down the stairs, opened your side of the door for the car, and always walked with you on the side closest to the street.

the movie was a cute action comedy. it was even funnier with john because he'd sometimes pipe up at the action sequences talking about how unrealistic some scenes were.

when you told john that the main character's actor, a built, older-looking man, was used to be your celebrity crush in high school, he couldn't help but let a chuckle rumble in his throat and ask, "got a type then, love?"

"yeah, probably do," you admitted shamelessly.

the dinner was just as nice as the movie: he took you out to a nice restaurant and hung onto every word you spoke. likewise, you couldn't take your eyes off him whenever he told you stories about him and his boys.

he wouldn't tell you stories about him doing his job, mostly because he didn't want to disturb you with what he's had to do. he did, however, happily tell you stories about the ridiculous things he's seen his task force get up to.

"they sound like a handful," you said warmly, "you sure they're not your kids?"

"no, but they certainly sound like it," he leaned just a little bit closer to hear you better over the chatter of the restaurant.

"i get that. i've got a handful at home, too." you paused to take a sip of your drink. "a little puppy."

"really? what's its name?"

when he takes you back home, he wordlessly walks you back to your door.

"would you like to meet beau, john?" you ask, hand hovering over the door you unlocked.

he opens his mouth to speak but gets interrupted by the sound of scratching and a dog panting on the other side of the door.

"well, only if he's okay with meeting me."

when you open the door, john is surprised to see a full-grown rottweiler launching at him at full speed. for a second, he saw his life flashing before his eyes before he realized the wagging of beau's tail.

"oh my god, i'm so sorry!" you call out immediately, "he's usually more polite around strangers. beau- beau get down!"

john only laughs at your panic and took your dog's friendliness as a sign to pet him. "'s alright, love. i trust you enough to know you wouldn't put me in harm's way."

he takes in beau's stature. from the looks of his larger-than-average size, he might be a guard dog for you. or maybe you just wanted company and decided to hone in on his scariness and bulk by adding that spiked collar.

"so, a puppy, huh?" he points outed humorously, locking eyes with you after realizing that your canine was, in fact, fully grown.

"hey, he's still a puppy to me!" you interject, kneeling down beside john's crouched figure to also show the rottweiler some affection.

"i see," he nods thoughtfully, turning his attention back to beau. "you're just as gorgeous as your owner, huh?"

your face is on fire again. "you flatter me, john."

"how does the saying go? it's not flattery if it's true?" he stands up much to the disappointment of beau and to take a step closer to you.

"you're too kind."

"jus' trying to treat you like how you deserve."

it's like he's trying to light you aflame on purpose. your embarrassment grows so much you have to cover the smile on your face with your hand. once your face has cooled down, you take a deep breath and let your hand fall down back to your side.

"thank you for tonight," you say quietly. "i had a really good time."

"glad to hear," he replies. "'m also happy to see beau likes me, too."

"well, we both have that in common, i guess."

"oh, who's doing the flattery, now?" john says playfully, his hands on his hips as you laugh softly at him.

"still you!" you insist.

"hm. maybe next time we can figure it out, yeah?" he proposes, a hopeful glint in his eye.

"next time? you already ready for a second date, price?"

oh, he was ready for more, but he didn't think you were ready to hear that.

"unless you're not," he tells you slowly, afraid of pressuring you into saying yes already.

sensing his worry, you reassure him with, "how could i not be?"

he relaxes at your admission and leans forward to give you a kiss on the cheek. "i've got your number. next week sound fine to you?"

"of course. whatever you like, soldier," you nodded, the lingering feeling of his lips on your cheek leaving a tingling sensation. if you were just a bit more confident, you would have kissed him then and there.

"i'll see you then, love."

he bends down to give beau a well-deserved goodbye pet before turning to leave, looking you in the eyes one last time before leaving for home.

[liyawritesss]

ᴡᴇ ʙᴇ ʟᴏᴠɪɴ' ꜱᴏ ʜᴀʀᴅ

Characters: Spider-Verse!Miles Morales [Spider-Man] x Black!Fem!Reader

Type: Drabble

Word Count: 1.4k

Synopsis: When there’s question of how the two of you should come public with your relationship, Miles has an idea. Despite it being quite cheesy, it’s one of the sweetest gestures he’s ever done for you.

Warnings: Some cursing but that’s about it

A/N: ‘lovin’ so hard’ by becky g came on so randomly and when i tell you the whiplash i got cuz i aint heard that song in YEARS…so proud of becky she’s doing her shit and i love her sm…needa get back into her catalog real bad

Song Suggestion: "Lovin' do Hard" by Becky G, "Sunflower" by Swae-Lee & Post Malone, "I Wanna Be Down" by Brandy, "Comfortable" by H.E.R.

Tags: @6-noir @babyboiboyega @badass-dora-milaje @jacuzziwaters @mbakuetshurisprincess @shuriszn @verachii @writingintheshadowsforever @cafehyunji @niyahwrites @pantherheart @marsfunzon22 @movie-enthusiast22 @famedrs-blog

Sign Up For My Taglist Here!

“I got a question.”

It was ten forty five on a Thursday night, and like any other night, you wind down the evening with a daily FaceTime call with you boyfriend of four months - Miles Morales.

In the four month time frame that you and Miles have been together, you’ve learned that the boy had a lot of questions to ask about you. It was endearing, really, how the extent of his curiosity knew no bounds. He had questions about everything, from the different hairstyles you wore, to the classes you were taking, to what you aspired to be as an adult. More often than not, he would ask them in a cute, almost childlike voice, with big doe eyes and an awaiting look of inquiry, and because he was just so polite about it, you always gave in.

“You got a question?” You repeat, glancing up to your phone, looking at the boy on your screen. You’d been busy with homework at your desk to pay him much attention, which, now that you think about it, could have been the catalyst for one of his questions. You’d only been on call for an hour, but you did tend to get reeled in to your work pretty easily. Miles was no stranger to this, so while he tried his best to not bother you, his attention span was waning thin, and he wanted to talk with you as much as he could before he had to go out on patrol.

Hence why he was dressed in his spiderman suit, no mask, but with gray sweats hanging off his torso and the faint sound of Biggie Smalls playing in the background as a way to hype him up for the next few hours of swinging around Brooklyn. He loved being Spiderman, but it had been an exceptionally long day, and knew he would not survive his patrols without some sort of pick me up - which is why he was more than happy when you called him for your nightly FaceTimes.

“Yeah, I gots a question,” he begins, albeit a bit dramatically, with his arms folded over his chest and a pout on his lips as if he were sad about something, which garnered your attention even more, “and it’s very important, y’know, so yo’ homework gotta share you for a minute!”

“Miles,” your voice goes, a soft scoff leaving your lips as they spread into a grin at his behavior, “what is it, baby?”

There’s a bit of a stutter that runs through his body at the pet name. He’s growing familiar with it, sure, but the tingle that rings through his bones has him questioning is it just his sheepishness or was he so down bad for you that you’ve influenced the enhancement of his spider-senses.

“That sweater’s lookin’ mighty comfortable,” he starts, and you can feel your eyes begin to roll at the game he starts, “wonder who you got it from, hm?”

Granted, you didn’t know you grabbed his sweater - the same one he’s always left over your house by conveniently ‘forgetting’ it when he left. It was a noticeable red zip-up that faintly smelled of sage and cinnamon, which was a comfort on cold days and stormy nights when Miles couldn’t be there for you in person. He’d ‘given’ it to you before the two of you started dating, and you’ve claimed it to be one of your most prized possessions generally, but especially from him.

“Boy, please,” you muse, lips spreading wide with a grin once more, “I’m not doin’ this with you tonight.”

“I’m just saying!” The brown-skinned boy exclaims. “I just find it funny how it’s cool for you to have my stuff, but I ain’t got nun’ of yours!”

While Miles was possibly the most emotionally intelligent boy you knew (which you’ve definitely thanked Mr. and Ms. Morales when you met them, both as Miles’ friend and as his lover), he loved to not be direct with what he really wanted sometimes. He feigned victimhood for the giggles he loved to hear from you, even though both of you knew what he wanted in the grander scheme of things. This instance was no different.

“Why you gotta be so dramatic,” you laugh at him, his lopsided grin making an appearance on his lips, “if you wanted one of mine you could’ve just said that, dork.”

“No!” Miles says rather quickly, which catches you off guard and earns him a puzzled look, eyebrows furrowed together at his behavior.

“No?”

“N-No.”

“So…you don’t want one of my hoodies? Even though we wear the same size and everything?”

Miles bit his lip in anticipation, his chest rising and falling with his deep intake of air through his nose. The boy scrunched his nose, a habit of his you’ve come to understand as him preparing himself to go out on a limb, which only confused you more.

“Your- uh…your scrunchie.”

Your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion at his confession. “My…scrunchie?”

“Yeah, y’know,” he stairs to move his hand around, motioning towards his hair, “the things you put in your hair? That somehow don’t go against dress code, even though I always get talked to about my shoes for some reason.”

“To be fair, you got some loud ass shoes.” You respond, a short laugh breaking its way through your lips despite you trying to hide it. The pout that graced Miles’ face didn’t help with you regulating it, either.

“Okay, okay, fine!” You eventually say after regaining your composure, and before Miles goes to threaten to hang up the phone on you. “I’ll bring the jar tomorrow and you can choose which one you want, how does that sound?”

Miles nods vigorously through your phone screen, and you could tell by the little twinkle in his eye that he’s absolutely ecstatic about the proposition.

“This is…a lot of scrunchies.”

It’s the first thing that comes out of his mouth when Miles watches you dump the jar of scrunchies onto the lunch table, eyes growing wide when you seem to pull out more than what looks like the jar can actually hold. There’s a little pile of varying colors, styles and sizes that’s built itself onto the table, and Miles has to admit that the task at hand seems a bit overwhelming now that it’s actually before him.

Granted, he doesn’t think he’d ever seen you wear the same scrunchie twice, but had he known your collection was this big, he’d just asked you to pick one out for him. How could he possibly choose now?

“How many do you even have?”

“I don’t know, I stopped counting after sixth grade-”

But Miles is already sifting through the pile, pulling out ones that immediately catch his attention. He has a concentrated look in his eyes - he’s taking the task very seriously, and it’s honestly adorable to you how deep into this whole exchange he was.

You took note of some of the ones Miles has already pulled out - a ribbed-fabric beige one, a group of satin ones varying in shades of blue, and ironically black and red colored one that he continuously eyes every now and then, and a silk sake green one that just so happens to be your favorite. Miles finds out the reason why the second he touches it, being soothed by the silk fabric under his fingertips.

“You want that one?” You ask him, to which Miles glances up at you from across the table, seemingly embarrassed by his entrancement of the hair ornament.

“It’s your favorite, though, right?” He responds. “I don’t wanna take it if it’s your fav-”

“-and I think that’s the perfect reason why you should take it.”

You say it as you begin to stuff the remaining scrunchies back into the jar, handfuls of the bunches slipping into the glass container with ease as you spoke again, “It’s the one I use most frequently. Meaning it smells like me more. Meaning that there’s more of a ‘me’ touch to it, so that you won’t be as lonely.”

It takes a second, but when your words register in Miles’ head, you can almost feel the heat that begins to creep up his neck from the affectionate words you spoke to him.

The bell rings, signifying the end of the free period. Miles takes no time in slipping the hair ornament around his wrist while he bids you farewell. As you depart for the second half of your classes for the day, Miles can’t help but fiddle with the object around his wrist as his own classes drone on. 

You were right, he thinks, he definitely doesn’t feel lonely with the presence of your scrunchie with him. 

[princessjojo-x]

CapricornVenus ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

💝 he takes love very seriously & he treats rxships like a business contract. scorpio venus put others through tests, whilst capricorn venus put others through a series of interviews. he will closely observe his potential partner to determine the type of woman she is. he will analyse her words, actions, interactions, morals, perspectives, achievements, background, temperament, etc. he is examining her to ensure she’s worthy of gaining access to the parts of him that he conceals from others. he doesn’t let just anyone into his life & it’s not easy to get close to him. if she doesn’t meet his standards then he won’t waste a single second on her. he knows exactly what he likes & what he doesn’t like. he won’t commit for fun or out of boredom. he’s either completely not interested or totally in love.

💝 he is a reliable, supportive & loyal with his partner. he act as a rock in rxships & he gives great advice. he’s willing to work through any rxship problems.

💝 he’s secretive abt his feelings, leaving his partner confused. this stems from a fear of showcasing vulnerability. be patient with him as he needs time to open up (esp if he has aqua placements but not so much if he has sag placements). since he’s quite unemotional & detached, he’s not the most affectionate & if he ever is affectionate, it will be done privately. he’s likely to show his “affection” through dependable actions, long-term planning & building a stable foundation.

💝 he’s usually aware that he’s being flirted with but will consciously ignore it. however, it’s his unapproachable vibe that entices potential partners.

💝 he attempts to attract & impress his love interests with his appearance, achievements, confidence & wit.

💝 he has a lot of lessons to learn in love related situations (since saturn rules capricorn).

💝 all cardinal venus signs tend to stop making efforts in their rxships once they get the person they were chasing, then either leave or complain about how boring things got.

💝 he is unforgettable. he will have people that will still love him & reminisce on memories with him even after many years.

💝 he likes old movies & songs.

💝 he can be very competitive.

💝 he’s the type to get money randomly from family.

Turn On’s & Off’s:

💝 he won’t commit to you unless he can take pride in you. he’s turned on by money & status. he wants a career focused & goal oriented rxship, with an ambitious & responsible partner. power couple building successful future together vybz. his ideal woman has a good occupation & social dignity, with high morals & self respect. show him you have goals & plans. be serious abt the rxship & your life. girl boss your way into it. demonstrate an interest in history, tradition, structure, family. he values & respects maturity, stability, consistently (even if he doesn’t possess these traits himself).

💝 he’s turned off by ditziness, irresponsibility & immaturity. he dislikes anyone with a bad reputation or low status. the worst thing you can do is have self control, act like a complete fool & embarrass him in public. not to mention, when he dislikes certain traits or behaviours in someone, he wont even mention it to them bc he’s too polite. instead he’ll avoid them in public & criticise them behind their back.

💝 a few other things he dislikes is: overwhelming him with too much emotion, asking him to explain things more than once. talking to him abt your ex, & trying to play games with him.

💝 he demands respect wherever he goes & he likes to feel in control. ensure to accept & support his rules & strict routine.

💝 he wants what he cant have & he desires romance that is unattainable to him. the tighter you hold him, the more likely he is to run away. he respects a self-preserved women with a reserved & cautious temperament.

💝 to impress him, dress simple, neat & classy bc saturn is the planet of discipline - french girl chic vibes or a woman in uniform vibes. wear boring colours (beige, balck, white).

💝 despite his reputation of being dry & serious asf, he actually enjoys being in the company of fiery individuals, esp if he doesn’t have much fire in his own chart. he’s particularly attracted to aries & leo energy bc he needs that extra boost of spontaneity & idgaf vybz. he loves someone that brings variety & wildness into his everyday life.

[bisexual-horror-fan]

It happened. Let's talk about it under the fucking cut.

Hello! I am here to regale you with the tale of how my Saturday at Fan Expo went! So it started with how I could not fucking sleep the night before. Fitful, I kept waking up over and over and finally got out of bed before nine. I hung around for a while, did a face mask, painted my nails, showered, got ready and into my fit for the day. We departed slightly after noon and grabbed some food and made our way to Toronto. We get there and park in the usual place and make the couple block hike to the convention centre, the check in process went smoothly and then, it was time to shop around. 

We went from the North building to the South building, much more interested in checking out niche’ vendors and artists’ alley, I was in there for less than an hour before I had to break away to run to the photo op. Mr.Bex gives me a kiss on the cheek and told me, “Try not to cum in front of them.”

“Easier said than done!” I called as I run off. Now, last year it took me forever to get back to the North building, so I left with an hour before my time I had to be there. On the way, I see a Ghostface in a very cute almost magical girl outfit, short flouncy skirt and a bedazzled pink mask. I am looking at them, they see me looking, and they give me a pose and a peace sign, I grin and give one back, a super fun moment. I get to the North building and the photo op space in less than twenty minutes. So that means I get to toddle around the dealers floor. I do so, take in some cosplays, contemplate some purchases, they had an old full sized classic Scream one poster for twenty bucks, but I passed on it. 

Finally, it’s time to go get into the actual line. I’m in line 13, in the first group for the Matt and Skeet time slot, and I made like six friends while in line. Everyone was very into my outfit, one girl had a tattoo on her arm that said, “My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me.” We were all losing it. Another girl was there with her partner and she was in a 600 dollar custom fitted movie accurate Ghostface costume, with the glitter fabric and all, it was shockingly impressive. She especially liked my shirt and was impressed by the fact I made it, and asked aloud, “Why don’t they make shirts like those and sell them?” I laughed and told her, “Well, I’ve considered it, I won’t lie.” 

It is a surreal experience listening to this assortment of hot gothy early twenty-something scream fans, many who came from whole provinces away just for this, just to be here for them, talking about how hot they are and how down bad they are while I stand next to them, having written a couple of hundred thousand words about the characters they love in question. I almost told em I wrote fic, almost. 

While waiting around, Matt ended up coming out into the line-up space?! There was a fan in a wheelchair, and he wheeled em back personally while chatting them up and giving high-fives, he was five feet from me. The photo op starts late, I don’t care, it’s fine. We scan tickets, drop bags and then are in the same curtained off space as them, they let in small groups at a time to keep it moving smoothly. My heart is fucking pounding. We make it back, there was a family in front of me, their middle kid was dressed as Ghostface and their baby was in a scooby doo onesie and Matt held him for the picture, so cute. 

Our especially extra Ghostface friend from the line was right in front of me, and then it’s my turn. I make sure my extra shirt is pulled to the side, Two Boys Are Better Than One proudly displayed, and I move. I greet them with a “Hi!” 

Skeet gave me a very cool sounding “Hey” and Matthew made eye contact with me and gave me a polite nod with a, “Hello.” That I can only say was said in a very him way. 

I asked, as I was moving in, “Can I be in the middle?”

And Matt had this expression with that sort of half smile he does, brows pinched together as he nods, telling me like it should be obvious, “Oh of course.” 

I get in between them, and Matt’s hand is on my shoulder, Skeet’s hand is on my lower back and my hand is on Matt’s lower back and my other hand holding onto Skeet’s side (and fucks sake he is firm.)

I got an extra second because the photographer directed me to lower my head, so I wouldn’t get glasses glare, I assume. I revel in the extra seconds and contact, the picture is snapped, and I break away, without thinking I sort of pat Skeet’s side, and he returns the gesture and tells me, “Good job.” 

Skeet fucking Ulrich told me good job. 

Bury me now. I am done for.

I get my bag, I get my picture, I get it framed, and I go find Mr.Bex. He and I leave the con, we get back to our car, and then go to a tattoo shop where my friend Mel gave me my You Might Be The Killer tattoo. We drove home, I slammed several slices of pizza, and now I am writing this for you! 

It was. Fucking amazing, I loved it so much, it was more than worth every penny. Now I can officially say, I am That Cunt that wore a shirt baring my super pornographic smut fic’s title on my tits while getting a picture with the two guys who inspired it all.

And speaking of inspiration, just you wait to see the fic I am going to write after this. 

[blushweddinggowns]

Part 2 Part 3

They had been talking for hours in bed, about anything and everything, the two of them politely ignoring the late hour. If Eddie had to guess, it was maybe three or four a.m., and both of them had work in the morning, not that it mattered. They were too wrapped up in each other to care, lost in exchanging the silliest questions and answers, just because they could. 

It was his favorite kind of night, even if they always led to his least favorite kind of mornings. But that was future Eddie’s problem. Current Eddie was too busy debating about the Princess Bride, “All I’m saying is Inigo Montoya should have been the main character, and the whole Wesley and Buttercup thing should have been the side plot.”

Eddie couldn’t see it, but he knew Steve was rolling his eyes in the dark, “You’re missing the whole point of the movie. It’s a love story, not a revenge story.”

“But it’s an unrealistic love story! Avenging your father is so much more relatable.”

“You want to talk realism in a movie with human sized rats? Babe, you’re reaching. It’s perfect the way it is. The only thing that would make it better was if we got to see their wedding at the end.”

They were face to face, only a few inches between them, but suddenly it felt like too much. Eddie reached for him, pulling him against his chest as he laughed, “Of course you’d say that. You’re such a babygirl, it’s not even funny.”

“I’m your babygirl, thank you very much. You’re the one who pulled it out of me,” He was using his pouting voice now, and Eddie had to fight the urge to turn on the light so he could see that face in it’s full glory. 

“Mmhm, my perfect, wonderful babygirl. With bad movie opinions.”

“Insult my movie takes again and I’ll bite you. I swear to God.”

“That’s not much of  a threat baby-fuck ow!” The words were barely out of Eddie’s mouth before Steve was nipping at his collarbone. Which, honestly, yeah he deserved it, so he couldn’t even complain at his boyfriend gnawing at him.

“Okay, okay! You win!” Eddie laughed, “I guess violence was the answer this time around.”

“Thank you.” He could feel Steve smiling against his skin, trying and failing to hide his giggling. 

They fell into a comfortable silence, tangling their limbs together as they cuddled. Eddie was on  the edge of falling asleep when he heard it, a tiny whisper against his neck, "I wish we could get married." 

Eddie grinned, voice tired but intrigued at the idea, “You would be an amazing house husband.”

Steve pinched at Eddie’s hip, laughing despite himself, “You’re such an ass.”

They settled back into the comforting quiet, but suddenly, Eddie didn’t feel very tired anymore. It was quite the thought, marrying Steve. Before they met Eddie had always been staunchly against the whole idea. He used to think of it as a lame, patriarchal tradition, perpetuated by the shitty American establishment for optimum baby-making. Something that he would, thankfully, be able to avoid ever doing because of the whole gay thing. 

But now…the idea of a life-long commitment was pretty appealing. At least in his head, that was already the plan. He fully intended to hang onto Steve for the rest of their days. And the thought of a pretty ring on his finger, a tell-tale sign to the whole world that he was taken, that was something Eddie could get behind. 

Eddie licked his lips, a little nervous despite himself, “Y’know…we could. If we wanted.”

Steve shifted to look up at him, curious, “What do you mean?”

“We could get married. Maybe not in the traditional sense. But we could do something like it.”

“But it wouldn’t be…” Steve struggled to find the words, “Real?”

Eddie paused, thinking of every milk-toast bullshit straight marriage he had seen in Hawkins. Maybe it was an egotistical thought, but he knew that what he had with Steve was a thousand times stronger than ninety percent of marriages in that town. 

Fuck it, ninety percent of marriages in the country. 

He shrugged, a plan already forming in his head, “But we could get close though, couldn’t we? Think about it, A name change, some wills, medical power of attorney, we can get some legal stuff going here. Besides, who's to say that the Wheelers ‘love’ is more legitimate than ours?”

Steve was quiet, and was pulling away from him. For a second, Eddie thought he played the whole thing all wrong, that he was being too pushy with a stupid idea that  was about to be shot down to hell. 

But then Steve was leaning over him and switching on the bedside lamp. The panic that was brewing immediately disappeared, all from one look at his handsome beaming face, “Eddie Munson, are you asking me to marry you?”

An excerpt from the unpublished last chapter of this fic

[callsignmercy]

No fear - Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky.

Prompt: Tom Kazansky has no fear. But maybe almost losing you can change that.

Words: ~3k

Warning: Iceman being a dick, crying, near death experience, language? Happy ending, fluff, Charlie being nice.

Note: Happy 100 followers to me! Thanks you everyone. Here’s an Iceman fic for you! Still having a writer’s block but hopefully I can get rid of it soon. Highly unedited. English is not my first language. Sorry for the easy vocabulary and bad grammar. Please do not republish translate or do whatever to my work.

Y/C/S: your call sign

Your RIO’s name and callsign: Jack/Sunset.

————————————————————————

Lieutenant Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky has no fear. He flies fast, with precision and never misses the target. As they say, ice cold, no mistake. And you resent him with every fibre of your being.

He’s so obnoxious and arrogant, always sure of himself. Everything that you are not. You’re cute and nice and kind and you wish you could show that side of your personality but in the field you’re in it’s impossible. Unless you want to be stepped on. You’re a woman, which doesn’t help your case in the first place, but being nice on top of it? No way. So you fake a mean attitude all the time, as well as a confident personality and you try to not take shit from anyone.

It’s hard but you manage.

The Top Gun class of ‘86 welcomed a woman for the first time in history and you wanted to make women all over the USA proud of it. You had fierce opponents like Maverick and Iceman but you wanted to prove them all that you were fit for the task.

They had all pretty much tried to flirt with you since the beginning of the week but you didn’t pay them any mind, not wanting to be affiliated with any of them. People might think that you were trying to get points by flirting with the others and you didn’t want any of that, so you stayed away from them.

The only one that didn’t come after you was Iceman. You didn’t really know why considering his RIO even asked you out, but you were grateful that at least one of them had a little decency.

He was polite and said hello to you whenever you passed each other in the halls and smiled at you but nothing more.

During a night out at the bar that you were mainly spending alone as your own RIO had decided he was gonna try his luck with one of the girls there.

Sitting at the bar you were nursing your cocktail, paying no mind to anyone, trying to have a little fun but not really succeeding in the task. The sound was too loud for your liking and the bar was packed. You couldn’t turn without bumping into someone. You really hated this kind of atmosphere but you played the part, not wanting to be considered dull for not enjoying yourself.

Your RIO kind of forced you to come, so you had to fake having fun but you would rather be in your room, reading a book or watching a movie right now.

Iceman noticed you sitting alone at the bar and walked up to you. “Having fun round here?” He asked. “Best time of my life.” You said sarcastically. “I can see that. Why are you sitting here alone?” “I don’t feel like talking to anyone or just being here altogether but Sunset kinda forced me to come, so here I am.” “You don’t like parties?” “No, I do, it’s just that it’s too packed and too loud for my liking and I don’t have any friends other than Jack and he just left to go see some girl so I’m on my own.” You answered.

“Do you want to get out of here?” He asked, which surprised you. “I wouldn’t want to make you miss the party or the opportunity to get home with a girl. I can stay on my own, don't worry. You should go back out there.” “It’s alright I don’t feel like it tonight, do you want to go get some food?” “Really?” “Yeah.” He smiled. “Alright.” You bit your lip. “Let me just go tell my RIO and I’ll meet you at the door.”

He nodded and you went to see Jack to tell him you were leaving. A few minutes later you met Tom at the door and you walked the few metres that separated you from the diner.

You spent the evening talking and laughing with Tom. It felt easy and nice to be able to talk with someone other than your RIO. You didn’t feel like he was trying to flirt with you which felt nice for a change.

After a few hours you both went back to base and he bid you goodnight before going back to his own dorm room.

You went to sleep that night with a smile on your face and the feeling that you had made a new friend and didn’t feel so lonely anymore.

As you headed to class the next morning you harboured a soft smile on your face which differed from the hard look you usually had. When you entered the classroom all the guys were already here smirking at you. Your smile disappeared as you felt this couldn’t be a good omen.

You decided to sit down next to your RIO, as usual, without paying any mind to any of them but they kept smirking and shaking their heads.

“What’s happening?” You whispered to Jack. “Apparently you slept with Iceman last night.” He murmured. “Excuse me?” You said, louder than expected.

You turned your head to Iceman. “Care to explain?” You asked him with a cold tone. “It’s okay sweetheart. I asked where he went last night and he told me he left with you and he didn’t deny when I asked him if you fucked so…” Slider answered for him. “Why are you lying to them? You know nothing happened between us.” You exclaimed, still looking at Tom, ignoring the others. He shrugged, unphased and you scoffed, shaking your head before facing the board in front of you as Charlie came through the door.

You tried to focus on the course Charlie was teaching but knowing that nobody respected you anymore because of a simple lie was destroying you inside.

You knew people would assume you really did it, and that you did it to get in Ice’s good favour and score more points like this. And on top of everything, you knew that if it were to be known by any superiors, you might be dismissed and removed from the program for it, ultimately penalising your RIO as well. The image of women in the navy and in any army corps would be worsened and they wouldn’t be taken seriously anymore as everyone would assume they were all like you.

You almost cried in the middle of the classroom that day, thinking about what you had done. Which, in the end was, well…nothing. And yet, men won again.

So that day you decided that for the remaining of the thirteen weeks of the program, you wouldn’t talk to any of them, unless absolutely necessary, and keep any communication to the bare minimum.

And you had never felt so lonely in your life.

You weren’t the nice, kind and cute woman you were before entering Top Gun, or the stern, emotionless woman you appeared to be at the beginning of the program. Now you were just plain empty. Neutral face on, at all times, no more smiles, no more charisma, no more hellos and goodbyes to your comrades. You didn’t speak a word to them anymore, you didn’t smile at them, didn’t participate in class, nor volunteered for anything. Everything felt dull.

Jack, your RIO felt it too, even though you still spoke to him, he felt like you weren’t your usual self. He knew the real you, the cute and kind you, the always nice and polite you but now this part of you was gone.

“Are you alright?” Charlie asked you one day at the end of a class as the last of your comrades walked out the door. You put on a fake smile and nodded. “You don’t have to lie to me, you know. I can see something is wrong. Also Maverick told me.” She admitted. Your smile faded as she spoke the last words. “Then you already know the answer.” “You know, they’re still boys in their head, they don’t understand that we feel emotions differently than them and they don’t know how such lies can affect our lives. They believe it’s pointless, that nobody will pay any mind to it but they’re wrong. Maverick and Goose know it, if it can make you feel better. They know you didn’t do anything and it was just a lie. They feel sad because you don’t talk to them anymore, they really enjoyed your company the first few days before it happened. They told me that you were really nice and that they enjoyed talking with you and Sunset.” You gave her a small crooked smile before thanking her and leaving as well.

—

At the end of the thirteen weeks Iceman and Slider won Top Gun with you and Sunset coming second. You didn’t really mind that they won, you managed to make some people proud and you hoped women would be more considered now that you had proven you were capable.

Everyone was having a really nice time at the party. You were conversing with Jack when you saw Iceman approaching you both. You turned your back to him, still not ready to face him nor talk to him. You knew he wasn’t going to apologise for anything.

You didn’t see it, but his expression saddened when he saw you turn your back to him. Jack saw it too and understood your move. He got up to approach Iceman in order for him not to get too close to you. “I just wanted to say congratulations to you both.” Iceman said. “You did a really great job together.” “Thanks man, we really appreciate it.” Jack answered, shaking Tom’s hand.

Iceman’s eyes wandered above your RIO’s shoulder, seeing you were still ignoring him. He smiled at Sunset again and left with a small sigh.

“Thanks for this.” You told your RIO. “I’ve always got you, you know that.” You gave him a small smile. “Why do you still not want to talk to him? It’s been like twelve weeks.” “You don’t understand the power a small lie like that holds. It can literally ruin my career.” “How so?” He asked kindly. “Well first of all, he lied to everyone, it’s something everyone believed I did, and after that everyone was going to think that I slept with him to get an advantage on the ranking. Second of all, if it were to be known by any of our superiors I could have been sent back to our squadron, and you would have too, because we’re a team here. Ultimately losing any opportunity we had to finish Top Gun and humiliating every woman in the navy because I couldn’t keep it in my pants so every man would assume we were all like that and not give us chances anymore.” “Wow, I didn’t really think about all that.” He said, stunned. “Yeah, well now it’s done so let’s just go back to our lives and hopefully not see any of them again.”

Your hopes were cut short as you were immediately called for a secret mission along with Maverick and Goose and obviously Iceman and Slider.

As you were getting ready to go on the mission the next day, Iceman came up to you. “Hey, can we talk?” You jumped at the sound of his voice. “Jesus, give a girl a warning.” You replied coldly. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you, I just wanted to apologise.” “Okay, but I do not forgive you.” His expression dropped at your words. “Understandable.” Your face remained stoic while looking at him. “I don’t know why I did what I did, that was really stupid of me.” As you didn’t reply he kept going. “I really liked you, still do actually. And I realised how stupid of me it was to have lied like that.” “Then why did you do it?” “Honestly I don’t know, it was just supposed to be a joke and then Slider told everyone and it escalated and I’m sorry.” “You know I really liked spending that evening with you, I thought we were friends and then you screwed me over for no reason.”

“I know I’m sorry.” He replied, head low. “I wanted to ask you out on a real date.” “Well it’s too late now isn’t it? You’ve wasted every chance you had. And you know what? I think I would’ve said yes, because you were the only one that didn’t hit on me and the only one with whom I felt truly happy being with. But you’ve wasted this. And maybe I could’ve been happy right now, instead of being sad.” You say gripping your bag and walking out the door.

A few days later you were risking your life along with your RIO, and four of your Top Gun comrades trying to shoot down enemy MIGs. Maverick managed to shoot down three of them but one was following you and you didn’t seem to be able to lose him.

That’s when you felt it. Bullets shot through your F14 and you started losing altitude. Being unable to control your plane you quickly got closer to the ground. “Eject Y/C/S! Eject! Eject!” You heard Iceman scream through your helmet. Panic came over you as you were trying to recover your plane and not kill yourself and your RIO in the process. “For the love of God Y/C/S eject!” He shouted and you almost felt like you heard his voice break.

As Iceman saw your plane get closer and closer to the ground his eyes welled with tears. “Y/N!” He couldn’t help but scream. And as you nearly crashed on the ground you managed to restart your aircraft and shoot up to the sky. A sigh of relief could be heard from everyone through your helmet. “Why the hell didn’t you eject Y/C/S? You and Sunset could have died!” Maverick was the first to speak. “I went through something like that before, I knew I could escape and save my plane.” You replied. Iceman didn’t say a word, he was traumatised. He didn’t want to think about what could have happened to you and how he would have coped with it. It was all too much for him.

You managed to shoot down an enemy plane after that and complete the mission. The three aircrafts landed on the carrier. You didn’t want to think about what could have happened up there so you got down your plane quickly, followed by your RIO. “I’m sorry I put your life in danger, I shouldn’t have done that.” “It’s alright, I knew you’d either save the plane or we’d have to eject. I was waiting for your instructions, I trust you with my life.” You give him a soft smile and head to the office to debrief the mission.

On the other side of the carrier Iceman is stuck in his plane, not being able to move. Slider gets up from his seat and looks at his pilot. “Hey, you alright man?” Iceman’s head shoots up. “Yeah, uhm yeah, I’ll meet you inside.” He replies.

It took him a few more minutes and a mechanic to get him down from his plane. “You okay Lieutenant?” The mechanic asked. “Uhm, yeah sorry.” Tom replied and got up from his seat.

He headed towards the conference room walking at a slow pace, trying not to think about you. As he got up the stairs and opened the door to enter the premises he was surprised to see you sat down behind it. You were hugging your knees, holding your helmet and tears made their way up your eyes but didn’t seem to go down your face yet. You quickly wiped your face when you heard the door open and hurried to get up on your feet. Only to see that it was Iceman standing in front of you.

He looked at you for a few seconds before speaking. “You scared the shit out of me, you know that?” He said quietly, hurt evident in his voice. You looked down. “Is it going to become a habit? Breaking each other’s hearts like that?” He said and your head shoots up to look at him. “I could have lost you today and I don’t know what I would’ve done if something happened. Because now I can still pretend you’re going to forgive me for what I did and I still have a chance to be with you but if you had died then there would be nothing giving me hope anymore.” “Do you really believe what you said?” “Of course I do. I would never be able to apologise enough for what I did but I hope one day you can forgive me and my stupidity and actually go on a date with me.” He said hopefully.

You take a look to your right and left to see if anyone was there and grab Tom’s collar and pull him to you, crashing your lips on his. He was surprised for a second but quickly returned the kiss and pushed you softly behind an electrical panel so no one could see you. You break the kiss, gasping for air and smiling like a high school girl kissing her crush. He smiles back and kisses you again.

Now Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky only has one fear, the fear of losing you. But the joy of loving you is stronger than anything.

[whoistartaglia]

halloween activities. 

including: zhongli, al haitham, diluc, childe, xiao, kaeya, itto, tighnari.

warnings: mentions of some creepy stuff, gender neutral reader, fluff.

notes: happy almost halloween!

zhongli. 

you watch a horror movie together. it was your idea, naturally. zhongli isn’t scared by much; certainly not a fictional horror movie. he doesn’t like them, not really, but he does like how you curl up next to him after you start the movie. how, whenever you suspect something’s bad going to happen or a particularly nasty scene, you bury your face into his chest, waiting for him to tell you, “it’s okay, dear, you can look now.”

just be warned: his tolerance for guts and gore is much higher than yours. on more than one occasion, you looked when he said it would be okay, and no, zhongli—seeing that girl’s head on the side of the road after her brother drove her home was not in your definition of okay. 

al haitham. 

you go out to dinner. you and al haitham never considered yourselves true halloween fanatics, so you don’t go out partying or stay up waiting for trick-or-treaters (you just leave a bowl out with a “take one” sign that gets mostly ignored). but al haitham insists you at least do something for the holiday, so you suggested fine dining, and it’s been a tradition ever since. 

you admit, it’s slightly strange to be walking the city in fine clothes while those around you dawn makeup and costumes galore. but hey, maybe they think you’re also dressed up—hollywood stars, rich arisocrats, famous models, something like that. they wouldn’t think you’d go out to a five star restaurant on a halloween night instead of some bar or party. 

your tradition is strange and a little out of place on such a spooky night, but it’s yours, and you wouldn’t rather do anything else. 

diluc. 

you make him dress up with you. he squabbles and complains and moans and groans like always, but if you had to guess, you think he secretly likes it. even when he broods during the obligatory picture you take, you think you can see the faintest hint of a smile. not that the wine tycoon would ever admit such a thing. 

no, no, diluc keeps up his slightly annoyed, slightly exasperated facade (or tries to). but that’s all it is: a facade. he allows you to dress him with whichever costume matches yours. if you go out, people will tell you its the cutest couple costume ever, and also diluc rolls his eyes… why, yes. you do think you detect a blush on his face, his lips trying not to form a smile. 

childe. 

you bought candy for the children. the sweet little trick-or-treaters that go door to door, politely asking for some candy. you were once one of those children; it’s time you give back. and you do—you even bought a couple of king-sized bars because those were your favorite when you were a kid. 

so imagine your surprise when they’re… gone. not in the kitchen, not near the door. then you notice your garbage is filled with wrappers and— is that chocolate smeared on childe’s lips?

“did you— did you eat all of the candy bars?” you ask, slightly horrified at the prospect. 

“yeah?” childe replies. “you bought my favorite. i couldn’t not have some.”

“i…” your voice trails off. “i suppose not…” there goes your dream of being that house on the block, the one that gives out full sized candy bars. but then again, maybe you shouldn’t have bought your boyfriend’s favorite candy bars—an all-too tragic mistake and temptation.

xiao. 

you wouldn’t call your boyfriend scary… but you cqn see why other people would. xiao can’t help his resting-i’m-unhappy-and-look-kind-of-annoyed face. honestly, it’s not even that bad. 

at least to other adults. when some of the trick-or-treaters came knocking and were met with xiao’s unintentional scowl… well. you had some explaining to do to some unhappy parents and frightened children. 

xiao felt horrible. you comforted him and told him to smile next time and—

that was somehow worse. another group of frightened children—these ones actually looked like middle schoolers. xiao didn’t try handing out candy after that, and for a couple days, you had to reaffirm his face was not scary, most kids are just wimps. 

kaeya. 

he’s a menace, an absolute menace, who will try and scare the living daylights out of you for the entire week leading up to halloween. a jumpscare whenever you turn the corner, creepy music playing while you’re just trying to brush your teeth before bed, flickering lights that’s actually pretty obviously kaeya. it doesn’t bother you too much, although you were pretty upset when you spilt some coffee on yourself when kaeya snuck up on you. 

but now it was your turn to play some tricks, and what night better than mischief night? there kaeya was, asleep on the couch. you approached, intending to scare him awake and have the final laugh before halloween. you crept nearer, hovering over his sleeping—

kaeya’s eyes popped open and he shouted, “BOO!”, making you stumble backwards, your heart begin racing, your breathing catch. his laugh after is loud, and really, you should have known kaeya always gets the last laugh. 

itto.

you party. this is your halloweekend, and you make the most out of every night, with a different costume for each. yes, you and itto spent a long time planning your costumes and which party you’re going to and when and where. it’s a whole thing; you even make a spreadsheet. 

you have very little time to recover in the morning before you’re getting ready for the next one. and everyone thinks you’re the best costumed couple there; your costumes and makeup and hair compliment each other’s perfectly. your couple costumes are truly unique, even if they do get a little… messed up during the party. after all, hours of dancing and shouting against the rooftops tends to cause handbands and wings and cosmetics to fall off. 

tighnari. 

you go to an amusement park. what’s better than being scared for your life at the peak of a rollercoaster, and being scared by the various actors throughout the park? a two for one deal, if you ask tighnari. it was his idea, and you protest it; you quite liked theme parks. 

but… those actors were ruthless. sneaking up on you after you got off a rollercoaster, dizzy and a little more than disoriented. taunting you with too-wide smiles as you wait in line for the next one. their grins promise no mirth, only fear, on a ride or off. it’s when you exit the park that you think you’re safe… you get into the car and drive—

was that another masked creep in your rearview? you don’t want to know; you just tell tighnari to floor it. 

[lvyu]

cookie cutter perfect; wilbur soot x reader

— synopsis: truthfully, wilbur wasn’t a fan of holidays before, but now he’s found a tradition he’d love to repeat next year.

“don’t touch those!”

if someone had told wilbur that he would be fighting you over some halloween cookie decorations, he wouldn’t have believed them. he’s never exactly been the person to get worked up over holidays, and especially not the big ones like christmas or halloween.

sure he enjoyed them when he was young, but then he grew up, and the ‘too-old’ mindset consumed him for the entirety of his teenage years. then of course, he actually got too old for things like trick-or-treating. despite countless other activities awaiting him, he chose to avoid the celebration as a whole— a fact that you very much hated.

and it was true that you weren’t exactly one for celebrations either, but something about seeing someone more devoid of holiday cheer than you made you perk up with the excitement of a six year old getting some candy as a treat.

when you had proposed the idea of celebrating halloween, wilbur was all for it, albeit not too excited, but he was happy to indulge you. plus, if it meant spending time with you, he was happy either way, even if he had to look a little silly. he expected you to suggest dressing up and giving out candy, but surprisingly, you opted for a quieter approach—

“no, no, no, no! i just decorated them!”

you stuck out your tongue and made an annoying sound. “you decorated them bad.”

—maybe quiet wasn’t the right word.

truthfully it had started out quiet. you hadn’t told him what you were planning before, claiming it was a surprise. late afternoon, you set out two bowls of candy for any kids passing through and put a sign that very politely asked for the kids to be quiet, then put on a movie and started baking some cookies. the night before, you had gone out to buy some decorations from the local market. it was a surprise that you had chosen such a relaxed sort of evening, but a welcome one nonetheless.

wilbur took the towel you were holding and threw it over his shoulder. “that’s really funny coming from the person who just splat frosting on their cookie and called it a day,” he giggled. “at least i have some class, and tried to make it looked good.”

he bent down to eye level with the cookie tray, smiling at his creation.

you piled onto him, wrapping your arms around him and squeezing. “whatever, i’m still gonna eat yours anyways,” you said.

a few minutes passed that way, and he hummed happily, standing back up to hug you properly, letting you rest your head against his chest. he rubbed your back, continuing his teasing of how great his decorating skills were. you shot back, and annoyingly kept repeating how much you ‘totally didn’t care’.

wilbur kissed your temple, resting a hand on your head and the other on your back. “thank you, this was fun, lovely.”

“i knew you would like it! i worked so-o-o hard coming up with the idea, i’m happy!” you exaggerated a little, but he could tell the sentiment was still there.

still, he couldn’t resist. “yeah, all three of your brain cells worked hard, i’m sure.”

“fucking… i’m gonna burn your cookies.”

[boghermit]

Pointing Out the Historical Inaccuracies (and Some Accuracies) of Ridley Scott's Napoleon 🤓

The only interesting parts of this film are the costumes, and maybe one or two music tracks. The rest of the movie is just awful. The story can hardly be called a story. It's just miscellaneous boring scenes duct taped together. None of the characters are developed beyond a single trait, if that. A period this broad shouldn't have been crammed into a movie this short. I honestly wouldn't have disliked the historical inaccuracy so much if it had been sacrificed for the sake of a good narrative, but this is bad. Even if you don't know about the era enough to nitpick it, I wouldn't recommend this film to anyone.

TL;DR go watch Waterloo or The Duelists instead.

Accurate Historical Details

There were some minor details that made me perk up like, "Ah, yes! It did happen like that!" The rest of the movie is so inaccurate that these details stuck out.

Napoleon tugged on peoples' ears as a sign of affection. You see this in the movie with Tallyrand and Josephine. He also did this a lot with his soldiers, which we don't see in the film. In fact, he doesn't interact with his soldiers much at all in the film.

The French fired a 101-cannon salute after Napoleon's first son was born.

Napoleon famously bumbled at the Coup of 18 Brumoire, and his brother Lucien had to step in to direct the French grenadiers.

It's contested whether or not Robespierre actually shot himself in the jaw, but I think at this point it's mostly accepted as truth? In any case, someone screwed up his jaw before he was arrested.

The British loved publishing political cartoons about Napoleon, including cartoons of him being cucked.

Joséphine did actually meet Tsar Alexander shortly before her death. I didn't know about this one and was happy to learn something new.

The depictions of line and square formations were okay.

Historical Inaccuracies

This is, in spite of its budget, one of most historically inaccurate pieces of media I've seen on the era, and on top of that it isn't even good.

There is so much historical context omitted from this film that I feel like anyone who doesn't have an interest in the time period will have NO idea what's going on. You are never really given the how and why of history other than "the Europeans are fighting and also Napoleon is there."

The overall characterization of Napoleon is just bizarre. Napoleon was smart, egotistical, ambitious, hot-tempered, and had a magnetic charisma and human charm that inspired a kind of blind loyalty in his soldiers. This is why he was so successful - and so dangerous. Napoleon never feels threatening or sinister in this film. He's just kind of there, slouching and sweating and mumbling under his breath as history unfolds. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure does a better job of depicting Napoleon than whatever the hell is going on here.

Napoleon was not present at the beheading of Marie-Antoinette.

He didn't have his horse shot out from under him at Toulon, and he didn't send gore-spattered cannonballs to his mother, as far as I know.

The movie casts a younger actress to play Joséphine de Beauharnais, but Joséphine was actually older than Napoleon.

I'm pretty sure that Napoleon didn't find and return the sword of Joséphine's ex-husband, although there is a legend stating that he attempted to confiscate it and was persuaded by Joséphine's son to return it.

The French army never shot their cannons at the Pyramids in Egypt. They also didn't loot the Pyramids, although they participated in a lot of heinous looting elsewhere.

Napoleon didn't leave Egypt because he found out he was being cucked by his wife - he'd already known about that for some time. He left Egypt because the campaign was failing and because the political situation in France was becoming untenable.

Jacques-Louis David attended the coronation of Napoleon, but didn't start his studies for the painting during the coronation itself. (At least as far as I know.)

The lake scene during the Battle of Austerlitz is a bit of a legend, but probably not true. The gigantic lake was more likely a series of shallow ponds, if it existed at all.

Napoleon did not lead cavalry charges, and he sure as shit didn't lead cavalry charges at the Battles of Borodino or Waterloo. In fact, Napoleon infamously sat a safe distance away while watching the bloody Battle of Borodino unfold.

Napoleon was not exiled following the Russian campaign. He was exiled after the War of the Sixth Coalition, in 1814.

Joséphine died in 1814, when Napoleon was still at Elba, not in 1815.

Trench warfare and scoped muskets were not used at the Battle of Waterloo.

Napoleon never met the Duke of Wellington.

That's uh. The cut version of my complaints.

[elleloquently]

a little push : robin buckley

| don't mind me, trying to ease myself back into writing

| warnings: severely unedited

robin would swear up and down that you were the sweetest girl she’s ever met, yet you infuriated her like no other. 

days of attempting to invite you to visit her at work so you could talk a little longer than your passing comments in the school hallway only ended with you chatting away with steve harrington... and a very frustrated robin buckley on standby. 

you laughed at his jokes, made fun of the family video signature vests, and talked about your favorite movies. 

robin now had the ability to recite all of your favorite movies in one breath, but the only problem was that you didn’t talk about them with robin, you talked about them with steve. 

you left but robin’s senses were still high - your empty icee cup in the trash and the smell of your perfume lingering in the air... you were everywhere but not at all where robin wanted you to be. 

she couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed at her best friend as he rejoined her at the counter, yawning lazily in stark contrast to her current high strung feelings. 

“i can’t stand you,” robin muttered half heartedly, earning a sincere and confused look from steve. “she comes in here, looking pretty and perfect, and you don’t even have to try and she’s laughing and smiling and all i get is a polite ‘goodbye’ when she finally manages to pull away from your disgusting presence!” 

“disgusting?” steve repeated, appalled, to which robin gave a defeated sigh. 

“i don’t understand why she won’t just talk to me,” robin admitted, picking away at her already chipped nail polish. 

steve frowned and straightened his posture, feeling suddenly very sorry that your latest interaction had so severely soured his best friend’s mood. 

“rob...” he started carefully, though she was seemingly too focused on her fingernails, “have you ever thought that she might be wondering the exact same thing?” 

this seemed to catch her off guard as robin paused, a look of genuine thought and contemplation flashing over her features before her guard was once again in its place. her carefully thought words were disguised in an overdramatic, irritated tone. robin slowly lifted her eyes to meet steve’s, who was now wearing a grin. 

“what makes you say that?” 

“seriously?” steve groans, shaking his head but his smile never wavering. “she looks over at you like, every five seconds. she talks loud enough so that you can hear her too. she likes you, robin, it’s hard for her to talk to you too.” 

“huh,” robin murmurs, new possibilities and ‘what if’s’ dancing through her mind. maybe steve was right, and if she managed to swallow down her own anxieties and make the first move, she could finally be someone to you. 

or... what if he was wrong? and she managed to make a total fool of herself and would never be graced to see you walk through the doors of the family video again? 

robin was silent, which steve took as a bad sign as she typically didn’t mind giving him an earful. inwardly, she was debating with herself. screwing up a chance with you would certainly make her a fool, what was worse? making a move and completely scaring you off, or never trying and therefore never knowing? 

her thoughts were sharply cut off by the door swinging open, shaking her from her monologue though her thoughts of you could never be put on the back burner. steve watched his friend carefully, partly amused by how oblivious the two of you seemed to be.  

                                                         - - - 

the next day, robin was a mess and steve’s patience was hitting its end. 

“what if she ignores me? what if she turns around and leaves and never comes back? what if she thinks i’m a total freak and laughs in my face? or if she thinks i’m being a creep?” 

robin mindlessly continued handing steve movies for him to place on the shelves, continuing her spiral until she feels as though she doesn’t have any words left. 

“rob, you’re stressing me out. she just picked up a movie yesterday, it’ll probably be a couple days, right?” 

furiously shaking her head, robin made a sound of disagreement. “she always returns her movies early.” 

a familiar body moving towards the family video door made both steve and robin freeze. the timing could be argued as either perfect or horrible, but there was no time to debate as the door opened and steve roughly shoved robin away from the shelves. 

robin caught her footing just as your eyes met hers. despite feeling like her body went limp and could crumple beneath her at any moment, she straightened her posture and offered a smile that looked more like a grimace. to robin’s amazement, surprise, daze, bewilderment... you smiled back. it was a genuine, true smile. like a breath of fresh air. robin knew that she was undeniably smitten. 

“hey, robin.” 

your voice. 

sweet, quiet, not overheard, but directed at her. 

robin met you at the counter. you were separated by the barrier but this was close contact for robin and she surprised herself when she managed to hold eye contact. steve made himself unseen, blending as closely into the shelves as possible as he silently organized dvd cases. 

you placed your borrowed movie on the counter and carefully slid it closer to robin. she wondered if every movement of yours was careful until she felt daunted by the silence and her words escaped faster than she could have imagined. 

“how’d you like it?” robin asked, a little loudly, but friendly. your smile was warm and she could’ve died on the spot but your words saved her. 

“i loved it,” you gushed, momentarily forgetting yourself. “i watched it twice last night and once more in the morning, skipping ahead to my favorite parts.” 

your fingernails tapped lightly on the counter, and robin was in awe. you were talking! you were actually having a conversation! robin caught on when your smile went sheepish... you figured you may have rambled, but robin didn’t mind. she opened her mouth to say something, but you beat her to it. 

“thank you for the recommendation,” you said earnestly. 

robins eyebrows furrowed. with how much she thought about you, she definitely would’ve remembered telling you about one of her favorite movies. 

“but i didn’t...” 

“steve told me it was one of your favorites and that i should give it a try. i loved it, but i’m sort of embarrassed it took me this long to watch it,” you clarify with a sigh. 

robin smiled, grateful that you spared the moment from any awkwardness and grateful for the push from her best friend. 

“if you liked this one, i think i have a few other movies in mind that you would probably like too, if you want?” 

robin thought she might sound like an overly helpful employee, but she was suddenly desperate to earn your approval on her favorite movies. her heart fluttered as your smile grew wide and you nodded eagerly. 

“robin, i would absolutely love that.” 

the sound of her name coming from your lips in such a natural way was too much, and robin wondered if steve was right. maybe you have been talking about her just as much as she has rambled on about you. 

robin knew movies, and you listened and nodded along enthusiastically as she pulled some more for you to rent. you graciously accepted, and even lingered by the door before you left. 

“thanks robin, see you tomorrow!” you called, one last smile as you gripped the movies tight to your chest on your way out. 

“see you tomorrow,” robin replied with a breath of relief. it was easier talking to you than she expected. robin didn’t want to admit that maybe steve had been right... but he definitely hadn’t have been wrong. all robin knew was that she would be eagerly awaiting her shift tomorrow, and this time she wouldn’t waste a chance to talk to you. 

[myrfing]

sorry to add to the #discourse about the werlyt stuff in ffxiv, and feel free to ignore this, but your posts just got me thinking about how the average western consumer of japanese media doesn't know how to spot signs of japanese nationalism in their fave game, movie, anime, etc. For example, I remember a couple of weeks ago on twitter someone said that Miyazaki's works feature prominent elements of japanese nationalism despite not necessarily being pro-war, and both the replies and QRTs were an absolute disaster. ffxiv is a liberal game, its politics are not exceptional; they just aren't (as) egregious

Considering the social locations of people who make a piece of media and how that location affects the way they write things, like politics, isn't an outlandish concept. But ffxiv fans always seem hyperdefensive about this and i cannot understand why

yeah for sure! imo people are getting better about it (don't think it even registered in most of the english-speaking side of the internet's heads that there was a pacific theater for a long time), with more eastern media being translated and gaining popularity that DOES legitimately have leftist authors, but you still have a ton of "how can this work have jp nationalist elements when they say War is Bad 🤨". feels like a lot of this is cause really anime/manga/games were so vaunted as the ultimate escape for americans (not exclusive) and now that people are gaining more of a political consciousness, there's this need for the things that are nostalgic and soothing for them to be "good" media without Problems. which is like. not the point man. though people have always studied and conversed about media trends and the influence of eras on the art created within them and there's always been a knee-jerk You're Being Crazy reaction to it (even though if it's a conversation they're not interested in right now, the people who have this reaction usually can always just...step out lol), I feel like it's just magnified by the way social media uhh does all that. and on top of it a lot of discourse is in bad faith, so sometimes not giving people the time of day DOES seem like the correct and safe option every time but it's like...some people apply it so broadly and blindly that it's basically anything that upsets me = wrong and bullshit.

And you're totally right about xiv LMFAOOO it feels like some people are compelled to do damage control for the game like it's personal. you'd assume that everyone is working off of the recognition that ffxiv is a mass market product and a feel-good fantasy and the writing may not even reflect the totality of a writer's beliefs, but rather what they believe is the median, liberal truth that they're willing to sell. sometimes in oddball places you can find hints of something more genuine but these are exceptions. & acting like it's proofed from this is suggesting that somehow final fantasy fourteen the mmo is interested in breaking any status quos and the whole of its creators have collectively managed to break apart from the time and history they exist in, when in truth it relies on it to guide its writing and business plan. i don't think this is a crazy controversial thing. it's a normal thing. & i cant really speak for how other people are talking about it, but i rarely suggest malevolence in my critiques of the shit I enjoy moreso than I'm saying Le Hegemony Has Arrived....something not even individual people can escape myself included much less a corporation....but the accusation is assumed anyway. What is the worst that can happen by acknowledging some stories and patterns in xiv's story have very liberal takes on topics in which liberalism understands and treats poorly? i dunno the answer to this one honestly I do not understand the fear

[xstarsmvxz]

HEART TO HEART 🩰

✧˖*°࿐

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pairings → neteyam x fem!metkayina oc

summary → neteyam finds himself fascinated with a girl he only just met, he’s constantly questioning whether she feels the same or not? little does he know, the very girl that holds his late night thoughts also has those exact questions in her mind.

word count → 1.7k

warnings → cute neteyam🤭 kind!shy!oc, all lowercase, mature language, semi-slow burn, not really following the plot of the original movie..

M speaks! → i was going to use ‘y/n’ but then i decided to make my own oc, i just find it easier to use a name or just not use one at all. also lmk if i should make a tag list!!

IKARI was well known around the metkayina clan, whether that be for her healing talents, helping to teach the children or just for her kind nature, everybody knew her name. she often spent her time with tsireya either just hanging out together or helping around the clan. tsireya has been the girls best friend ever since they met. before ikari’s father died, he was one of the best warriors of the clan meaning he and tonowari were good friends. them being good friends meant their two daughters were bound to meet, tsireya wasn’t much younger than ikari, she had just turned six when the two fathers decided to introduce their daughters to each other. ikari remembers the day so vividly, the way she clung to her fathers leg when tsireya came running to her, bombarding her with questions and compliments. she remembers how she looked up to her father for confirmation before running off to play with tsireya in the water. the two girls had been nearly inseparable since that day.

that was until the sullys arrived. ikari often found herself watching tsireya and her older brother ao’nung teach the sully kids the way of the water. the girl hoped that someday she would have enough courage to go over and speak to the family, maybe even help with teaching them. she had only spoken to them once, the family had just arrived at awa’atlu and the girl offered to help the family with their belongings, quickly introducing herself before she and tsireya showed them to their marui. she has never spoke to them since. perhaps because she was scared to make a fool of herself in front of the oldest sully boy, she had yet to learn his name but she still found herself rather attracted to the boy.

today was the same as every other day, help her mother with her chores, do her own chores, help with the children, walk around collecting shells, speak with tsireya and then sit down and watch the group of friends teach, learn and hangout. while having her brief conversation with tsireya, the younger girl invited ikari to hangout with the group. the older girl had thought that nobody noticed her silently watching them, but of course tsireya did. she felt bad for ikari, she truly did. so she decided to, for the first time in a while, invite her to come diving with the group. she told the girl that the sullys have mastered their breathing and the sign language that the metkayina clan use to communicate underwater. it took her a whole lot of begging and whining before she finally convinced ikari to come along.

so now here they are, the older girl following tsireya around the village. the two best friends walked towards the sully family’s marui pod, dodging kids running around and weaving through groups of people, making sure to smile at and greet all of the elders they pass. when the sully family’s marui came into view, the two girls sped up their pace. they soon reached their destination and tsireya lightly knocked on the structure of the marui pod, the family’s heads all snapped the girls way. “hey we were wondering if you guys want to come swimming with us?” the younger girl asked, a polite smile gracing her face.

the sully kids turned to their parents for consent, their parents gave light nods and quickly got back to whatever it was they were doing. ikari watched as the youngest of the bunch shot up and ran towards tsireya, excitedly greeting her before turning to ikari. the young girl smiles, “hi! i’m tuktirey but my friends call me tuk, what’s your name?” ikari looks down at the girl with a small smile. “that’s a beautiful name tuktirey, i’m ikari.” she replies. “you have a pretty name! also you can just call me tuk, we’re friends now!” tuk smiles, grabbing the girls hand, “hurry up guys, let’s go.” she whines dragging her newfound friend along. ikari checks behind her, looking to see if the others are following before she continues letting tuk drag her.

the group all dove into the water, making their way towards a sandbank where they can all just sit in the water and talk. tsireya, ikari and tuk all get there first deciding to sit in a large circle with the rest of the group. “oh guys!” tsireya starts, “i forgot to introduce you to ikari, i’m pretty sure you met her when you guys first got here.” the mentioned girl quickly looks around with a light blue blush on her cheeks, letting out a small “hi.” she smiles. everybody else says small “heys” and “hellos”, completely forgetting to introduce themselves until tuk groans. “you guys- you’re meant to introduce yourselves!” she grabs neteyam’s arm making him wave, “hi i’m neteyam, the best warrior in my clan!” tuk imitates her older brother. everybody breaks out into fits of giggles looking at neteyams flustered face. the older boy knew he was in for a whole lot of teasing for the day.

once everybody’s laughter died down lo’ak decided to introduce himself and kiri. “i’m lo’ak, this is my sister kiri.” the girl sends you a smile and you smile at her in return. tuk takes the silence as a chance to speak again. “i’m tuk, but everybody already knows that!” she said, rolling her eyes, a habit that she got from her older sister. the group fills with laughter at tuks antics again. ikari looks around at the sullys, her eyes locking on neteyam. he’s so beautiful, she can’t help her thoughts about the boy. she thinks eywa sent the boy to pandora herself. she gets pulled out of her trance when she notices neteyam staring back at her, quickly looking down at her hands with a deep blush on her face.

she zones out on the groups conversation, feeling rather left out until she hears her name coming from tsireyas mouth. “ikari is one of our best dressmakers and weavers, her pieces are magnificent! many people in the clan wear outfits she created.” the girl boasts about her best friend. ikari feels the heat creeping up for her neck, to her ears and though her cheeks smiling at the others while fiddling with her bracelet. “maybe one day you can make me and kiri something!” tuk says, “maybe even neteyam and lo’ak as well!” ikari smiles at the young girl, “maybe when i have spare time i can make something for you guys?” she offers. “oh yes please!” tuk leans against the older girl hugging her arm. tuk decides then that ikari is her new best friend.

the group sit and talk up until it is nearly eclipse. “it is starting to get late, my mother would want me home before dinner.” the older metkayina girl says starting to stand up from her spot. “nooo stay a bit longer please?” tuk begs, grabbing onto ikari’s leg and looking up at her with pleading eyes. “i’m sorry tuk but i have to go now.” ikari says with a sad smile. “how about we all walk her home and then we can all make our way back to our own maruis?” tsireya says, feeling like the smartest person on pandora. “i guess that wouldn’t be a problem, if it’s alright with you guys of course.” ikari looks towards the others. “yeah sure.” everybody agrees to walk with ikari to her marui pod. tuk grabs the girls hand and beckons the others to follow them into the water. the younger girl doesn’t let go of ikari’s hand, not even while swimming. the older girl doesn’t mind though, it’s nice having a new friend, or friends for that matter.

soon enough they all make it back to the village. the group of teens, and tuk pass peoples marui pods waving hello whilst following ikari to her home. “well this is mine.” the girl says turning towards the rest of the group. “but i don’t want you to go yet!” tuk whines again. “come on tuk, we should probably start heading home now too.” neteyam says grabbing onto his sisters hand. “but i want to stay with ikari!” the young girl stomps her foot. “we will see her tomorrow tuk, we better hurry cause mom is waiting for us.” kiri says trying to convince tuk to come home. tuk frowns before wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug. you lightly bend down, hugging her back before hugging tsireya and bidding goodbyes to everybody.

“oh sweetheart, you’re home” your mother greets you with a hug. “how was your day?” she questions, continuing to cook whatever food was for dinner. “it was alright, i hung out with tsireya and the sully kids today” you sat down next to your mother. “that’s nice, what are they like? are they kind?” your mom doesn’t like you hanging out with mean people, she knows that you’re one of the kindest people in the clan and she doesn’t want anybody to change that. “yes mama, they’re nice.” you smile at her worries, “their youngest, tuk, she’s adorable! i think i spoke with her the most out of everyone today.” your mother smiles at you, happy that you’re now starting to make new friends. “that’s wonderful dear, now would you please grab me some banana fruit? the juice will make a nice side dish for this fish.” your mother asks while cutting up the two fish she must’ve caught during her hunt today. she was a well known hunter in the clan, that’s how her and your father met.

you stand up walking over to the fruit basket sitting in the corner of the room, picking up a banana fruit before sitting back down and cutting it in half. you pass both halves to your mother, watching as the squeezes the juice into two small side bowls. she places the cut up fish on the plate next to the bowl and passes you your dish. “thank you mama, it looks amazing!” you compliment. your mother smiles at you before you both begin to eat. after dinner is done, you help your mother clean up the place and say goodnight before you make your way to your more closed off part of the marui. plopping down on the bundle of mats, blankets and cushions you begin to drift of to sleep, reminiscing todays events.

story masterlist

[mare-noctis-studios]

Meeting the Team

David Rossi

Every minute that passes, you regret your decision more and more. Your date, the moderately good looking detective from your last case, barely paused for breath in the latest 10 minute tirade on the nuances of the MPD geo-political social structure. At least the tiramisu was decent.

“The real key to climbing the ladder is to get invited to the superintendent’s golfing weekends. Once you’re in that circle and prove yourself, you’re a shoe-in for the table at the awards gala. Now once you hit that-“

Your phone buzzed quietly. Never had your prayed for a case before but lady luck seems forgiving today.

The Real Housewives of the BAU

JJ -       Date night? Just checking in. I can have backup there in 5 - let me know.

Damn.

Em -     This was the hot detective from MPD right?

Thanks J, but it’s a strike-out. Bottle of rosé and a movie is what this night needs, not a run-down of how to sleep with the boss - Y/N

P.G. -   Ohhh honey, that bad?

Yeah. Unfortunately.

P.G. -   Hugs and kisses

Jake’s tirade only seemed to be ramping up, now having moved on to the fishing trip aboard the superintendent’s yacht, a sweat breaking out on his hairline, you can see the thin rivulets evident of a spray tan running down the side of his neck.

“Excuse me” you say, slipping your phone into your handbag and standing up. “Just need the ladies.”

The bathroom was empty and you take a moment to breathe, staring at yourself in the mirror. Soft light washes over the makeup you applied especially for tonight, something a little more elegant than your usual daily routine – making you sigh. The dress was new - technically it was bought a few months ago for a date that never happened – an emerald green evening gown that in hindsight was far too fancy for the “fine dining” Italian restaurant you were promised.

~ If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with- ~

“Garcia” you answer immediately, picking a stray eyelash off your cheek. “As much as I like to believe the world is getting better please tell me you have a case”

“That I do, honey-bunches.” Garcia’s bubbly voice. “It is the worst of them all though, missing kid in Seattle snatched an hour ago. Get here soon.”

Damn. There’s a problem.

“I didn’t drive here. I’ve got to get a taxi or something, I might be a bit longer” you say, picking your clutch up and heading out the door. You round the corner when you pull up short.

“That mother-“

“Everything ok honey?”

You flag down your waiter and he hands you the bill, posture awkward as your jaw dropped.

“Penelope you find that sonofabitch and you give him every red light between here and the west coast, he left without paying his bill and he ordered the freaking $80 steak!”

“Oh that bastard!” you hear Penelope gasp, the sounds of furious typing echoing down the line. “Hang tight honey, Rossi is in the area. He’s coming to pick you up.”

The chill of the evening air cut through your dress like you weren’t wearing it at all, and you forgot to bring a jacket in the rush to leave, wrapping your arms tighter around your abdomen. You should have known better, you realise. You’d seen the signs in his behaviour when you worked together, you saw. You knew, and yet…

A warm hand on your arm jolted you from the musings, turning to find Rossi there with a half-cocked smile on his face.

“I take it date night was a bust?”

“In more ways than one” you mutter, storming off towards his car. A hand hooked around your elbow just before you could open the door and you stumbled, falling into the side of Rossi with a grunt.

“Hold your horses tesoro” he said gently, taking off the suit jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders. “I think I need to give this guy a lesson on how to treat a lady.” He opens the car door and helps you inside, turning up the heat once he’s driving and takes a look at the receipt crumpled in your fist.

“How was the food?” he said after a few minutes silence, the soft chatter of the radio distracting you from the thoughts of the night.

“Disappointing. You would have been horrified to hear what they called ‘authentic’ Italian.” You laugh, pulling the jacket a little tighter around your shoulders and leant against the window. “You know, he told me we were supposed to go to ‘Ciccio’ but we were too far down on the waitlist.”

“Hence the nice dress?” Rossi said with a knowing smile. “’Ciccio’ its supposed to be one of the best new restaurants in town”

You sigh again, pulling the jacket even tighter. “A pretty poor debut for this dress but at least I finally got to wear it.”

~

You flop down on one of the bench seats with a groan, smiling and the gentle squeeze Emily gave your shoulder.

“As much as I’m glad that case ended well, I’m exhausted.” You say, finally hauling yourself up and into one of the proper seats, letting your head rest on your arms as the team prepare for take off.

“You chased the unsub at a sprint for almost an hour Y/N, have you considered doing the FBI triathlon?” Hotch asked, sitting next to you, while the snort of derision came from Rossi who sat opposite.

“Suckering more people into your health cult Hotch? I might have to stage an intervention.”

The sounds of chatter and the general ambiance of flight lulled you into a deep sleep, waking only once you landed safely in Virginia. Rossi offered you a lift back to the bullpen to grab your things and it wasn’t until you saw Penelope holding two garment bags did you put two and two together.

“I figured you’d prefer to have some good memories with that dress” Rossi chuckled, taking one bag from Penelope’s outstretched finger. “Let’s go to dinner, my treat, after all the leg work you put in yesterday you must have an appetite.”

“Starving”

~

Rossi knew how to treat a lady and if you didn’t know better, you could very well become wife number 4 by next week. He drove you to Ciccio in the same car he rescued you with – a camel 1947 Buick that made you feel very much like a 50s movie starlet. He opened your door and helped you out of the car like a gentleman, waved you through the waiting line of diners to a private table for two, a bottle of Dom Perignon already waiting on ice. His bow tie was a soft velvet, matching the deep emerald green of your gown, the twinkle in his eye only surpassed by the glee you both shared at the first bite of the antipasti selection.

Conversation flowed even smoother than the wine selection, and when it came time to wrap up, the bill was taken care of before you could blink twice.

“Ok, I’ll admit it Rossi” you say as you stroll arm in arm among the trees strung with fairy lights. “You do know how to treat a lady. Maybe you should teach classes alongside your regular profiler training.”

A chill suddenly overcame you and the jacket was quickly thrown over your shoulders, making you turn and smile at your colleague.

“Thank you for a wonderful night, David. I really mean it.”

“Of course, tesoro.” He said, kissing your knuckle respectfully and looped a hand around your arm to guide the two of you back to his car. “You deserved a nice evening, at a proper Italian restaurant, with a man who actually pays the bill.”

The Real Housewives of the BAU

JJ –       How was the dinner with Rossi?

I might become wife #4 if this what date night usually is - Y/N

Em –    That good? Damn, he’s holding out on us

P.G. – I’m glad you had fun.

P.G –   by the way, I had nothing to do with it but if a certain mpd detective starts complaining about how the random shift assignments seemingly aren’t random its because they aren’t.

Pretty Boy –    You know most random algorithmic generators aren’t actually random.

Pretty Boy –    True randomness has a social phenomenon of being ‘fake’ due to a recipients feeling that it’s not actually random so they had to devise a..

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