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#thank u for ur support and patience
nxctern · 2 months
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trying to find a way to doodle faster/be more productive without completely obliterating my joints
Right now I'm doing csp on the ipad (using it as a second monitor with sidecar)+using a joycon and a pirated software to use shortcuts w my left hand
Not super used to it yet but i think it'll help me a bit
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caemidraws · 1 year
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[I'd rather forget]
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xx-vergil-xx · 6 months
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excerpt from hounds, ch. 48
an old pov returns :) and you will get no more context outta me than that
wanted to offer something, in lieu of posting just yet — progress is not steady but somehow still quite productive? i’ll write three chapters in as many days and then simply Lapse (c’est la vie — i do best bouncing between projects, so it sort of works) anyways, all things being equal, should be on track for my self-imposed january completion :) much love to all of you <3
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tojisun · 6 months
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i see your requests are closed but let me say you wrote like the best x bimbo reader ive ever read like? how? tbh i was giggling twirling gripping the sheets (it was the simon riley one yassss) (no pressure at all like i do NOT wanna come off like that) but when ur reqs open i am first i am the one i am coming to request a bimbo reader fic because your writing is delicious i eat up everything you write.
love from texas (it sucks here btw 🥳)
OMGRG AWW THANK U SO MUCH <333 i truly enjoyed writing the bimbo!reader fic n blurbs bc ngl, not only is the smut so just [heart eyes and happy sigh] but the way simon luvs her is so !!! yk? like imagining it all is making me tremble w need hehrhre
and omg dont worry about itt, ur not coming off as putting pressure on me!! but thank u so much for ur consideration teehee <33 my reqs are officially closed because of my scheduling :'> i did it that way so ppl dont kind of expect me to work only on their asks or to even work on them asap yk? but ppl can send in thirsts (theyre borderline reqs atp) and i can spiral w u guys!! it's just that doing it this way weeds out those who have specific expectations re: works
(here's a kind of the messy breakdown of my blog req status)!! hope this made sense :0
thank u again for ur support n lovin <33 take care sweetheart ^3^
love from BC (its.. okay here i think)
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goatpunches · 1 year
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*projecting a beam directly into your brain*
Rest and recover. You are feeling like you want to rest and recover. You trust that your fans will be patiently waiting for you to come back once you're feeling better. You know that we'll still be here and still love you.
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thank u anon … 💕 my brain is absorbing your beams !!!!!!
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ja-lin · 2 years
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I figured out how to fix the facial expressions to line up better and felt really happy that I was able to troubleshoot it. So, I just re-coded Yvette’s season 1, episode 1, scene 1 from scratch. If you’re interested in feeling a bit of Lovestruck nostalgia, the web browser version of the game is available: https://nightofsin.itch.io/thrill-of-sin
Hope this short game humors you all while I’m working on Night of Sin episode 4. There’s just...a lot of drawings to do and the weapon poses are proving to be challenging.
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i cant remember if i mentioned it before but im actually on vacation in pei rn so thats why my posts have been late/a little inconsistent. coincidentally that is also why i’m postponing the next chapter of lance’s bday fic, but i’m updating the lance is a disney princess series again so u cant be mad!!!!
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capricornlevi · 2 years
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holy moly indeed ?? gives u all the world’s biggest hug ilysm
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xzenvii · 2 months
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youtube
I've been learning how to PMX Editor after I got some models from PDF2nd
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kombuuuu · 1 year
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Miles 42 headcanons?
no one asked but i’ll deliver !!
Miles!42 x Fem!Reader random headcanons
also a lot of snippets :)
You/Reader: Blue
Miles Morales: Purple
Mama Rio/Rio Morales: Pink
Uncle Aaron/Aaron Morales: Orange
Random/stranger: Black
gift giving love language duhhh
Will have you walk with him through malls and whatever you look at for a second too long he buys
You don’t catch on until you’re both eating at a nice restaurant, absentmindedly staring at some plant when a lull in conversation happens.
He purchases the plant.
“Fuck you mean I can’t buy it?”
“Sir, the plants aren’t for sale, this is a dining establishment.”
“Establish the fact I’m gettin’ that plant.”
“Sir—“
50 bucks down and a plant 🆙
He will damn right die if you refuse him. He’ll get all grumpy and pouty when you say he should save for a house, not for you.
convinced you just get shy when bought things (you do).
is even more motivated to buy things
“Miles, baby, you need to save up. Not spend on me!”
“This would look so good on you, Ma.”
“Are you listening??”
“Fuck, and this.”
“Oh my god.”
gets so jealous it’s unbelievable
but only when someone goes too far with you
it’s like 1–100 real quick
he’s not usually the prowling type (ha)
but when someone pushes the line he loses his shit
other than that he’s a supportive bbg all the way
“Wanna go home with me, butterface?”
“Fuck you just say?”
“Nothing homie just get outta here.”
“Say that shit again ‘homie’.”
“Chill the fuck out. Let the lady speak for herself.”
“I’ll fucking speak for my girl all I want, homeboy.”
maybe got a liiiiittle bit of an anger issue
guy went home with a broken nose and a missing tooth
better hope he can afford fill ins
he would never get mad at you though
he gets frustrated you don’t listen sometimes, but it’s never to the point of anger
feel like he has the patience of a fucking SAINT
calm and collected baby u know the deal
“Mami, we gonna have a problem?”
“”
“Didn’t think so.”
a SWEETHEART at times
stand by him being raised right
mama rio taught him to be a romantic
wanted him to take after his dad
so flowers and gifts and chocolates
followed by lovin of any kind
probably a baby for affection but doesn’t show it
so when you get all emotional about being gifted roses for the first time
and hug him and smother him
give him stupid little kisses all over
he’s fainting
poor boy doesn’t know love like u show him
“Baby, are these for me?”
“Yeah, Chiquita. They okay?”
“Wh… They’re perfect.”
“Are you cryin’? I can return ‘em.”
“No! No, no, don’t do that.
I love them, C’mere.”
when you guys get rlly comfortable, like a year and some dating, he ends up getting more chatty
willingly talking w you for hours
feels like you’re the only person he can rlly do that with
rambles so rarely that you kind of just sit in awe when it happens
doesn���t catch himself until he’s trying to name your future kids
“I’ll marry you one day, we’ll have like two, three kids. Get all nice an cozy.
You want a boy or girl? I kinda want both. Definitely not girl first, never having a girl without a brother to protect ‘er.
You’d be such a good Mami.
What’d you wan’ name ‘em? I have a few ideas—“
“..”
“But you could choose the girl cause I don’t know any pretty names. And i’ll choose—“
“..”
“..”
“You gon’ let me keep goin?”
“I love your voice.”
“Tranquila, mami.”
Takes you to every family event he ever has
sits you regularly with Rio and Aaron
they insist you call them uncle and ma
you do, obviously
miles doesn’t need to meet your family if you don’t want him to, but if he ever does he’s totally suave with them
like weirdly smooth
able to get on ur carers good side quick
when you meet his extended family they’re just as loving
his whole family is this bright dash of colour
and you fit right the fuck in
“¡Oh, hija estás preciosa!”
“Dice la estrella de la fiesta!”
“You flatter me, Hija.”
“Miles, come get your girl.”
“You look nice too, Uncle Aaron.”
“..Thanks, kid.”
“Hey Mami, havin’ fun?”
“Aight, I’m out.”
when you find out he’s the prowler you’re not really shocked
he’s hella nervous to tell you and kinda puts it off for a while
as long as you’re not in harms way, nothin matters, yeah?
no
the guilt eats him alive
he’s already lost so much, if he doesn’t do things right with you, then loses you too
he’d probably lose himself
so he tells you
“The Prowler?”
“Yeah.”
“The.. Panther guy I keep seeing on the news-?”
“Mm.”
“Miles are you—
..—Are you killing people?”
“Mami, it’s not like that—“
“oh my god.”
“These men— I kill,”
“Oh my god, oh my god.”
“,They’re bad, you understand.”
“Miles..”
“[Name]. Do you understand?”
“Yeah.. Yeah I understand.”
“You can’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t.”
“…”
“Are you mad.”
“I’m not happy.”
“Okay.”
you’re kind of devastated he’s killing people
but you eventually get it
like it takes a while
say a month or so
but you forgive quick
i mean, who knows what those men are doing, right?
(ur delulu but it’s ok)
he lets you have your space but talking with mama rio when she realises your absence knocks some sense into him
mans is going to GROVEL
he will fucking beg on his damn knees
knocks on your door and is already kneeling
will plead with you to come back to him
like i said a whole ass romantic
you know what’s romantic? a man who can get on his knees
he will suffocate you in gifts and affection
oh you like (insert sanrio esc character) ? look over there at that lifesize plushie woahhhh wonder who that’s forrrrrr
“Hello?”
“Mami, don’t close the door.”
“Miles, go home.”
“And please stop kneeling, the floor is dirty.”
“I’m not leaving ‘til you hear me out.”
looooong sigh
“Okay, fine— whatever, come inside. You have two minutes.”
“God, I missed you. You’re so beautiful Chiquita.”
“Three minutes.”
You talk it out easy, he’s a real smooth talker when he wants to be
“Okay Miles, I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?”
“Yeah, Ma. See you soon.”
“Wh—.. What is that?”
“Ohhh…”
“Why the fuck is it so big?”
“It said “Life Size” on the site? I was thinking like two feet tall.”
“You bought that?”
“Yeah.. I was thinkin’ you wouldn’t let me in. Would have to bribe you.”
“…That’s really cute.”
Annnnnd that’s all i can come up with i’ll probably do more later :P
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alicorngarfield · 1 year
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Hi! Just wanted to ask when will my request be done?
not 100% sure, hoping for this week tho! :)
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muniimyg · 4 months
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10.5: love 》 series m.list
note: we made it !!! i am so incredibly grateful for everyone's love and support with c2u <3 meeting u all was so fun ,, answering ur asks and interacting thru comments truly made my day ! i'm glad i was able to share this silly goofy concept and have it well received . as usual ,, please lmk ur thots !!! i have 3 extras that will be posted soon (ie: their first hook up, a comfort scenario, and one final smut extra) so please look forward to those !!! thank u for ur patience ,, all the love 💗
warnings: sex tape vibes (kind of), pussy eating (nom nom), fucking LOL ... dirty talk & creampie! easy shit yk? lmaoo
taglist request: CLOSED
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar
//
As much as Jungkook loves to play soccer for the glory, he loves it best alone. 
When the bleachers are empty and the field is wide and free—that’s when he feels the most love for his sport. To others, it comes off as lonely and sad but to him; it’s serenity. Sometimes, it’s the only place he feels like he can truly be himself. It’s a place where he doesn’t have to be anything to anyone. It’s a place where he can be lost and found at the same time. It’s also his go-to place when he can’t sleep. Jungkook hasn’t slept well in weeks. He figured it was time to be in his own space.
His haven. 
His favourite part has got to be when he plays so hard that he doesn’t even notice the world is waking up. The moment Jungkook looks up and sees the sunrise—he always gets this feeling in the pit of his stomach. It’s an easiness that can’t be explained.
It’s an incredible relief. 
When he sees the sun, he stops playing. He takes a break and sits down to watch the sun bloom on the horizon. There’s so much bliss in the stillness of the world. He feels so much clarity when it’s just him, the net, and the ball. It’s like nothing else matters and his mind can focus on one thing: winning.
Jungkook has only done these late-night sessions a handful of times in his life. 
The first time was the day before Uni tryouts and he doubted his talent. Everyone kept telling him he had nothing to worry about, but that didn’t make him feel any better. To Jungkook, his luck was just like everybody’s. He was afraid of it not coming through when he needed it the most. Therefore, he worked his ass off regardless of his luck history. 
Note: Jungkook was the first in his year to get in. 
The second time was when he fucked up at a game and cost his team a minor setback. It wasn’t the end of the world—he just felt like shit.
The third time was the day he redeemed himself and scored the winning goal that got the team to championships. It was the best game he had in a while. It was also the first time felt tired of it. Tired of the game, tired of the play… Just tired. 
The fourth time was when he decided to take a break from soccer and tend to his burnout… Eventually, he came back after a few months. Of course, he did. He loves soccer more than anything in the world…
That was until you.
He didn’t go back to the field and have a session to himself to celebrate. No, he celebrated with you instead. You didn’t know and he never told you… But that’s what he did. The first day he came back to soccer, he went to you right after. With you, he found rest. 
That’s when he realized something… 
He wasn’t tired anymore.
At least, whenever he was with you.
He wasn’t tired. That’s all he could really ask for, right? To fall in love with someone that was his safety net. 
The fifth time would be today. 
Jungkook has been out here since 3AM, kicking the ball and practicing drills. It upset him, to be honest. He thought being here would help ease his heart. Everything feels so clogged up and messy to him. It’s like no matter what he does to try to clean up his mess, everything stains. So, he thinks to himself that maybe if he ran enough laps or kicked the ball hard enough—it would stop.
The mess. 
The yearning.
The loving. 
But it doesn’t.
No, instead his heart continues to ache. As he clenches it every so often, he thinks of you. Then, for a second, his heart is still. In the stillness, he tries to think of good things around him. 
At least the rain wasn’t pouring as hard as it was an hour ago.
At least the sun is coming up and it’s a new day. 
At least you were here—
Wait. 
You’re here?
Jungkook rubs his eyes. Partly due to disbelief and partly because the rain made it hard to see you clearly. Yet, somehow… In his heart, he knows it. He knows it’s you. 
How’d you know where he was? More importantly, why are you here? 
Why was his heart racing so fast again? 
Be still. 
He isn’t sure of what to do. Should he wave? Should he call your name? Are you here on accident? 
Considering it’s almost 6AM… It can’t be an accident, right?
Just as much as Jungkook’s head begins to fill with questions, yours does too. As you walk closer and closer to him, you can’t help but only hear your heartbeat pound louder and louder. Is this normal? To feel like your heart could jump out of your chest if it meant getting to him faster? You let your mind spin. 
Why the fuck are you here? 
What are you doing again?
Did you write everything down?
You sure felt a lot braver ten minutes ago… Suddenly, seeing him has made you doubt all the courage you worked to have for this moment. At the same time, the complex feeling of pure happiness and relief blossoms. You can’t help but smile at the sight of him. There’s a stillness in the world and it’s only when you look at him and it’s good. You know that now… But oh my god. 
You’re about to lose your shit. 
How did you get here?
When did it all begin? 
Was it from the first night you two slept together? Or was it the karaoke night when you realized you were waiting for him to kiss you? Could it be time he fucked you in front of your mirror and you vowed to never drink coffee before meeting up with him ever again? 
… No. 
Maybe it was when Mina came along. 
You gave him a blowjob just to stall him from going (bad move, by the way. That was pretty bitchy). Oh, and we can’t forget about the time you craved him when you were drunk out of your mind and all he did was take care of you. Half asleep, you woke up to him mounting your mirror on the wall… And well, maybe…
Maybe it was then. 
When he fixed your mirror, he fixed your heart. 
That’s probably why the time you two hooked up in his bedroom at the party felt so right. It was finally clicking.
You were into him then.
You just didn’t know how to admit it. Then, it got fucked up because you were caught off guard. 
The perilla leaf.
The exile. 
The hate sex. 
Everything good and bad has led to this moment and you can’t help but feel like you’re falling apart. Finding the origin of it all feels exhausting… In your head, you debate it all. In your heart, you’ve always known. 
You see, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. 
The friendship, the sleeping with him, the hurting him—the loving him… It wasn’t supposed to do this to you. You aren’t supposed to be this nervous and so impatient at the same time. You aren’t supposed to feel this stupid either… 
But you do. 
… And that’s okay. 
Sometimes, with love, you’re going to feel a little stupid. You just have to cross your fingers and hope the person you’re being stupid for is just as stupid as you. 
In your case… There’s a good chance he is. 
As you stand on the sidelines, Jungkook places his hand over his eyes to see you clearer. He tilts his head in confusion as you drop your bag. 
Then, just like that…
It happens. 
His thoughts pause, his heart goes still for the nth time, and his world slows down as he takes in the sight of you. Nothing will ever be better than this. The same way he feels an ease when he watches the sunrise—he feels it as he looks at you right now. 
God, he loves you so much. 
He has known it for so long but this… You in this moment; it’s bliss. 
Complete and utter bliss. 
If that isn’t enough… His heart is completely undone the moment he realizes two things: one, you’re wearing his jersey, and two; you’re holding a towel in your arms for him. He can’t help but let a laugh escape his lips. All that shit you said about how you would never be a part of his fan club and how you could never be that girl…
Oh, this is gold. 
Honestly, it’s more than enough. For you to show up and make this effort—it fills his heart. Yet, you’re you. Always full of surprises and ways of making his heart go on overdrive. As he sinks in his thoughts and soaks this moment in; he watches you take a deep breath. Then, slowly but surely, you extend your hand out to him. 
It’s then when he knows it. 
The wait was worth it.
The wait is over.
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You and Jungkook sit on a bench, under the technical area’s cover. For a while, you two watch the sunrise in silence. Both too afraid to say anything to ruin the moment—both so undoubtedly in love. Once the sun is fully up, you brace yourself. 
This is it. 
Jungkook turns to you, chasing your eyes. 
“You nervous or something?” he jokes, as he begins to dry his hair with the towel you placed around his neck. 
“Yeah,” you confide. “Am I doing this right?”
Jungkook’s eyes widen as you scoot closer to him and take the towel. In your continued silence, you take over and start to dry his hair. Scrunching the towel, you pat dry his neck and cheeks. He gulps, unsure of what to do… He likes it though. He likes that you’re taking care of him and that you’re trying. He knows you are. 
As you pat dry him, you try to find your words. It takes a moment, but you think to yourself… It’s now or never, right? You’re already here. You’ve already folded. 
It catches Jungkook off guard when you suddenly tug him close. Putting the towel aside, you cup his cheeks with your hands. Your hands are cold, but he doesn’t mind. If anything, he’s holding himself back from kissing them. With a pout on your lips, you begin your confession. 
“I hate being your friend.” 
Jungkook squints at you and chuckles. He removes your hands from his cheeks, smirking at you. “What bullshit are you on now? Didn’t we agree on—”
“I never agreed,” your eyebrows knit together. “It’s been like… A day and a half and I’m going crazy being your stupid friend.”
“Fine,” he snaps. “Enemies?”
His suggestion annoys you.
You lift your hand to hit him, but he catches your wrist. Then, he opens his hands for you. You sigh teasingly but take it. Intertwining your fingers together, you two sit in silence again for a moment. 
Holding hands, watching as the rain pours, and preparing to give your hearts to one another… It feels like this could be a dream.
“Tae and Yuna, ” you begin, breaking the silence. Your voice sounds weary and desperate. “They’ve been friends since the very beginning. He always had feelings for her and she did too… But she didn’t do anything about it until it was too late. He’s dating Mina’s friend now or something—it’s so messed up. It’s so unfair, y-you know? They deserve each other so much and I—”
“Breathe,” Jungkook comforts you. “They’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t want that to be us,” you blurt. 
Jungkook blinks at you. 
“It’s so scary. Jungkook, I don’t want that to be us… B-but it is us, isn’t it? Y-you hate me because of—“
His eyebrows knit together. “___, I don’t hate you. Don’t say that.”
Your lips quiver, unsure of how to navigate through this talk. Maybe you should have planned it better. Maybe you should have written this whole speech out instead of word-vomiting like this… But that’s the thing. 
You aren’t good at this.
Regardless, you’ll try for him.
“I’ve been selfish,” you admit, letting your eyes dart to the field. You can’t look at him. It feels too overwhelming to.  “I’ve been inconsiderate and I know I can’t justify my actions because they hurt you—I just need you to know that I was scared. It was so scary trusting you, falling asleep beside you, and waking up next to you. It was so scary watching you laugh with other girls and not knowing how to tell you how I felt… I’m sorry I started fights while trying to figure out how I felt about myself… Honestly? I think I was so scared because you made it so easy.”
A beat.
“T-the truth is… I’ve always known how I felt about you.” 
Jungkook can’t help but smile. He wonders if you know what you’re doing to him… Do you? He’s afraid you don’t.
“Really?” he pries, moving closer to you. “How do you feel about me?”
Attempting to be intimidating, you turn to face him with a glare. 
“D-don’t push it.”
Jungkook pouts. “But I want to know… Please, please, please?”
For a moment you contemplate. Then, you look at him and take it all in. His wet hair, soft eyes, and pouting lips… How were you ever strong enough to say no to him before? Truly, you’re a changed woman.
Curling your fist, you shut your eyes and say it. You tell him the whole truth. 
You give him your heart. 
“You said you got ahead of yourself… But have you ever considered that I was beside you the entire time? L-like you said you’ve had feelings for me since the first time you made me laugh… Me too. I knew it then too. I just didn’t know what to do because every time I dated guys, it all felt the same… With you, it was different from the start. I don’t know how to explain it… All I know is that I like you in every way it’s possible to like someone—I like you. My heart has been yours all along. I’m sorry it took me so long to give it to you. It just felt like everything with you kept falling into place and I was terrified I was f-falling too… I think—n-no, I… Umm, I know that I…”
Something others may not know about Jungkook is that he’s consistently bad at one thing. That one thing is playing it cool when it comes to you. He has to fight his inner demons to stop himself from professing his love for you every 10 minutes. So, it would be a lie that he wasn’t loving this. He loves watching you feel what he feels. 
Your words, sweet and well-awaited, completely captivate him. 
He can’t help it when you’re like this. So perfect, so cute, so his. He can’t resist!
Which is why he kisses you mid-confession. 
Jungkook kisses you slowly and deeply. Like never before, you lose your breath from how passionately he kisses you. Once you two pull away, he rests his forehead against yours. Smiling, he sneaks in a couple more kisses. 
Timidly, you say, “So… You aren’t mad at me anymore?”
With a laugh, Jungkook shakes his head. “God, you drive me crazy.”
“So… That’s a no, right?” 
Jungkook rolls his eyes and purses his lips. You press your lips against them and kiss him once more. 
“___?”
“Y-yeah?”
“... I checked my phone a moment ago and Yuna ratted you out. She texted me like ten minutes before you came. Said if you don't show up I should knock on your door and fuck your feelings out of you.” You gasp, burying your face with your hands. Sighly dramatically, Jungkook makes a cheeky comment. “Once again, I waited for you.” 
You hit his chest playfully. In pure disbelief, you groan at him. “What? Y-you knew and still made me do the whole speech—”
"I didn’t know!” You ignore his claim. “Although, I wouldn't have had any issue fucking the feelings out of you—"
"Are you insane?" you fume. "I was literally sick to my stomach trying to get this confession thing done right!"
“I was excited!” He teases, and nudges you. You remain annoyed at him. Jungkook can’t help but find it cute. “Awh, ___! Come on. It’s not every day that a guy gets to see his girl in his jersey, holding a towel for him on the sidelines! Also… I just really wanted to see what all your fuss was about. I promise, I didn’t know.”
It’s too late. 
Just as you stand up and storm away from the embrassment, Jungkook catches up to you. Out on the field, the rain continues to pour on you two. Drying him off was useless if you were going to be this dramatic. 
As he catches your wrist, you shove him away and cross your arms. 
“I feel stupid,” you sigh. “Y-you knew how I felt about you. I was worried and anxious the entire time and y-you knew!” 
Jungkook shuts his eyes and can’t believe how feisty you are. It’s entertaining and frustrating at the same time. God, you were so complex… But at the same time, he knows you’re just afraid. This is you finding an out. This is also you trying to stay. 
He takes your hand. 
You don’t shake him off say anything. 
You let him take it. 
He holds it like it’s all he has ever wanted to do (it is all he has ever wanted to do).
“I didn’t know everything! Hey, the fuss was cute,” he ensures you. “Do it again.”
“No!” you cry, feeling your clothes start to stick to your skin. It’s pouring now and you instantly regret being dramatic.
Except, Jungkook looks so perfect. His hair is wet and his shirt is soaked so you can see the way his muscles curve. He’s so handsome that you have to gather all your strength as a woman to keep yourself from jumping on him.
“This shit is so hard!” you complain through the rain. “How did you do this? You confessed like every time we fucked—”
“Yah!” Jungkook warns, feeling a little embarrassed. Maybe he should be the one to storm away now…  “Be nice to me or else I’m about to reject you.”
You roll your eyes at him. Grabbing him by the collar, you tug him to your eye level. Happily, he complies. 
“Do it then,” you call his bluff. “Reject me right now.”
Jungkook looks into your eyes, loving the way you look at him. He blinks at you slowly and bites his inner cheek. For a moment, he’s silent. You’d think he’s contemplating or something… But he’s not. He’s been sure about you since your first laugh, remember?
“Kinda cruel considering you’re all I’ve been waiting for,” Jungkook confesses, as he dips his head low and kisses you. 
As he kisses you, you squeeze his hand. Holding his hand tighter, he smiles into the kiss. The rain continues to pour, making everything feel unreal. As he pulls away, he looks at you the way he always has… This time, you get what Yuna was talking about.
The warmth in his gaze.
The love in it.
The you in it.
After what felt like endless heartache with other boys—this felt healing. 
This was yours. 
Him. 
And that’s when your heart tells you something you never knew… 
You waited well too. 
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You two escape the rain and make it to your place.
In your bedroom, you quickly get undressed and sit in front of your mirror to dry your hair. Jungkook comes out of the washroom all clean. Passing by you, he plants a kiss on the top of your head. You watch from the mirror as he reaches inside your closet for one of his shirts. 
Your high from the moment at the field suddenly dies. Suddenly, you realize the confession wasn’t enough to move forward. For fucks sake, he has his clothes in your closet.
“Jungkook?” you ask cutely.
“Mhmm?” he responds as he dresses himself.
You almost choke on your words. “What are we?” 
He grins, coming back to you and swaying you side to side. Without batting an eye, he answers: “friends, of course!”
Instantly, you push him away. Your shoulders slump as you glare at him. He laughs his ass off, loving the way you reacted. When he calms down, he kneels in front of you and apologizes. 
“Okay, bestie,” you play along as he gets up. “Should we eat perilla leaves to celebrate?” 
Jungkook’s mouth drops. His eye practically twitches at the mention of perilla leaves.
Throwing his hands up dramatically, he cries, “Oh god... My girlfriend is so mean to me… She’s so hot, holy shit.”
Girlfriend.
That sounds about right.
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He’s so big. 
Sometimes, you forget that.
It slips your mind because Jungkook has always been a giver. You never really had to worry about it being uncomfortable. He makes sure you cum first and always puts his needs above yours—tonight was a prime example of just that. 
As he towers over you, he leaves a trail of kisses from your neck to your lips. Each kiss is so soft and intimate, your pussy clenches at his very touch. It doesn’t help when he places his thumb on your clit, rubbing and stretching it out to stimulate you even more. As you moan into his ear, he feels shivers go down his back. 
You gasp as he bites your skin, enticing you to want him even more. 
“Jungkook,” you breathe, “put it in, please.”
“Mhmm,” he moves the hair strands on your face and kisses you. “Be good for me, okay? Be patient. Gonna fuck you good so I need you to be on your best behaviour.”
“B-best behaviour,” you repeat rather lewdly. “Okay… W-whatever you want, love. You have it. You have me.”
Love.
God, you and your fucking words.
Jungkook bites his bottom lip, trying his best to take his time. Truth be told, he wants to fuck you silly right now. He wants you so bad that your legs won’t work and he’ll have to tend to your soreness. He wants to fuck you so good that you scream his name and lose yourself in him… But he’ll take his time tonight. 
He wants to show you so much. He wants to show you how good he can make you feel. How you won’t ever regret your decision of being with him. He wants to show you what kind of man you chose and what kind of man you get to have.
A good man.
A man that has wanted you for so long that now that he has you—oh was he ready to drag it out.
Jungkook gently places his dick in between your folds. It’s hard and thick. You can feel it against your wet pussy and want nothing more than for him to put it in. Instead, Jungkook lifts himself and sits in between your legs. There, he holds the base of his cock and slaps it against your pussy. He rubs his cock up and down your folds. Then, he splits them open with his fingers and spits on it. He then spreads his spit with his cock. You feel so lucky when he pokes it inside once in a while. Like a tease, he takes it out so quickly that you begin to feel frustrated. 
“P-put it in, please…”
Jungkook smirks. 
“Put what in?”
You glare at him.
“Your hard, thick, stupid cock. Put it in my wet, needy, desperate pussy right now… Please?”
Jungkook lets out a sexy chuckle. “Not yet,” he tells you, as he fully stops. He then moves over and helps you sit up. Leaning against your headboard, he spreads your legs. Just when you think you can predict his next move, he reaches over to your nightstand and grabs his phone. Unlocking it, he passes it to you.
“Film me.”
You nod, following his orders.
Tapping record, you angle the camera to your pussy. You watch through the phone screen as Jungkook positions his face in between your legs. Gulping, you throw your head back as he makes his first lick. 
Jungkook holds onto your thighs, helping you keep your legs open. He digs himself into your pussy, devouring every inch of it. To deepen himself, he digs his nose in and curls his tongue as he licks you. When he pulls away for air, he sucks on your clit making sure to keep you on your toes. 
“Oohhh,” you sob. “S-so good. J-Jungkook—“
“Mhmm,” he murmurs onto your skin. “Tastes so good.”
“A-aghhh! Oh my god!”
The thing is… Jungkook has eaten you out before.
But this was different.
It was slow and sensual. The way he licks you and eats you out just feels so surreal. Your toes curl, your stomach winces, and your pussy tightens as you’re about to climax—
Jungkook pulls away. 
He has a devilish look on his face. You stop the recording and toss his phone aside. Suddenly, he takes hold of your ankles and tugs you down. On your back, you open your arms and welcome him in again. Gladly, he buries himself in your breasts and moans at your softness. 
“That was—“
“Everything my girl deserves,” he tells you sweetly. “My girl…”
“Your girl,” you pull him in for a kiss. “All yours..”
Jungkook moans, unable to stop himself. He lifts his hips, making space for him to quickly pump his cock before guiding it inside you.
… And oh my god.
He feels so good.
Him inside you is so fulfilling and healing. 
“You okay?”
You nod, mesmorized by the man he is.
“More than.”
With that, Jungkook kisses you and begins to fuck you. He thrusts in and out, making you feel his entire length with each stroke. Your body takes him in as if it’s welcoming him home. As he feeds you your craving, he picks up the pace. You wrap your legs around him, moaning from how good it feels as he buries himself in you. 
“F-fuck,” Jungkook hisses. “Love this. Feels so good.”
“Mhmm,” you whimper. “J-just like that!”
Jungkook continues to fuck you, drilling himself deeper and deeper. Soon, you’re chanting his name and his ego begins to boom.
Jungkook fucks you like he loves you… And you know it. You can feel it. To express so, you claw his back. Digging your nails deeper and deeper, holding him close.
“N-nghhh! I’m gonna cum—”
“Cum for me, pretty girl. You behaved so well,” he praises. “Proud of you.”
Your heart flutters. 
Then, your pussy clenches as you release. He feels it. Jungkook groans, accepting that this round will be over soon. There will be plenty more, for sure. As he pumps inside you lazily, cautious of being sensitive to your climax but also because he’s hitting his. 
Then, he creams your pussy. It oozes out, but he pumps himself a few more times to stuff you.
As he spills himself onto you, he lets out heavy breaths and collapses on top of you. You let him catch his breath there as you tangle your fingers in his hair. 
“I love you,” you confess. 
“Good… I was hoping you would.” Jungkook lets out a tired laugh. “I love you too, ___. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re everything I’ve ever loved.”
You hold him tighter.
“I love you more.”
Jungkook bursts into laughter. “Love, we are not going to play that game.”
Tilting your head at him. “Why not? It’s true.”
“You think you love me more than I love you?”
“Mhmm.”
“Prove it.”
With that, Jungkook laughs as you shift position. Leaving him on his back, you climb on top and straddle him. As you lift yourself to guide his dick inside, he lets out a whiney moan. You are so sexy. You are quite literally his favourite part of living.
“I’ll prove it,” you accept the challenge. “Will you last though?”
Jungkook’s lips slight part, amazed and shocked at your initiative. In response, he relaxes and gestures at your body. There’s a tightness that overcomes his entire body. It’s mixed with excitement and relief. For the nth time, he gives in.
Jungkook folds.
Happily, he gives himself to you.
“With you? Forever.”
Forever.
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After 3 rounds, you two call it a night. As you drift to sleep, Jungkook holds you. Before this, you two talked as much as you could and even began to make plans. There is an indescribable comfort in being with each other.
Upcoming dates.
Better ways to communicate.
Everything and anything in between—you two want it all.
As the rain pours, Jungkook finally shuts his eyes. He pulls you closer, kissing you for the final time tonight. There would be tomorrow to kiss you anyway.
Tomorrow and the day after that… And the day after that. And the days that follow—he’d do just that.
He can’t wait to kiss you forever.
To hold your hand forever.
To love you forever.
For the first time in a while, Jungkook finds rest. His heart stays still and feels loved. Besides, this is what he has wanted to be all along—
Close to you.
975 notes · View notes
hitomisuzuya · 4 months
Note
MY BELOVED (ur work is my absolute favorite u always have me on my hands and knees!!) I’m actually very serious the fire in my stomach when u post is <333
Dressing ur pretty boy Scara up as a maid! The outfits rather tight.. rather revealing and while he hates it and gives u quite the stinky eye all day, you can’t help but ride him to make him feel better! How sweet of you
Though his dominance starts to shine through as your “dominance” starts fading into submission when riding him, he calls you mommy while growling over how your walls clench around him, maybe if we ride him right after his orgasm he’ll get overstimulated and really see who’s really trying to be in charge here <3
“Wait.. wait! Wait oh fuck~” vibes <33
I HOPE THIS MADE SENSE IM JUGGLING TYPING THIS AND WRITING CLASS NOTES
Scaramouche x fem!reader Smut. Riding. Overstimulation. Degradation. Dom!Scara.
This made perfect sense 😳 Thank you, everyone for all your support and patience❤️ Be careful in class now😌 I may write a second part for this.
Dressing Scaramouche up in a maid outfit was supposed to be joke at first. You'd told him that he had the perfect legs for a maid outfit, and after some hissing and grumbling, he'd indulged you in your silly whim.
He was resolved to also get a hold of your phone to delete the picture you'd taken of him.
The sour expression he'd worn on his face had long since fallen away. In an attempt to placate him, you were bouncing on his cock, making him feel nearly limp from pleasure as he twitched and rutted up inside of you.
Scaramouche's arms were around you, clutching you against him, his eyes hypnotized by the white ring that glossed his cock. He let out a volley of incoherent curses, his eyes flicking to watch your breasts bounce before leaning his head down towards them.
He let out a wanton whimper as your hand found the back of his head to push his mouth towards your breasts. "What's the matter, my sweet Scara?" You cooed, stroking his hair, "is this too much for you too take?"
One of his hands travelled down to grope your ass, growling as he latched his lips onto one of your nipples. "You are clenching around my cock like a total slut, Mommy," He groaned feeling you clench harder around his cock, a high pitched cry keening from your throat.
His tongue swirling around your nipple send jolts of pleasure to your throbbing clit. You arched your back, crying out again as his grip started to tighten a little around you.
You didn't think too much about it at first, figuring he was close to cumming. He had the sweetest, high pitched whimpers and moans. You completely missed the glare in his eyes as yours roll closed, enjoying the feeling of his cock kissing into your sweet spot.
"Cum for me like a good boy," You cooed, making him growl again. Your walls squeezed just right on his cock. It pulsed strong as cum roped inside of you.
Scaramouche writhed underneath you when you didn't stop bouncing. He spat a string of incoherent Japanese curses, overwhelmed by the pleasure of overstimulation.
He could do nothing but moan at your mercy. That is until something snapped in him. Your eyes suddenly open as his hand flew to roughly grasp your chin. "I'm fucking fed up with your feeble display of dominance," His fingers dug into your hips before he lifted you off his cock and fling you onto the bed.
Your eyes widened as he flipped you over onto your stomach. He'd stolen control so fast it stunned you. It made you wonder if you had ever really been in control at all.
"Ass up, slut," Scaramouche snapped, smacking a hand on your ass. You blushed, yelping as you did you were told. It was time for him to put you in your place, especially for making him wear a maid outfit.
A whimper of your own keened from your throat, making him laugh as his fingers found your clit to rub it before lining his cock up with your entrance. His hand pushed your face down onto the pillows as he thrust his cock inside of you all at once, smirking when you gasped loudly from the burst of pleasure.
You whimpered again behind broken moans, his cock slamming into you, his fingers digging bruises into your hips. "Fuck, how are you still so tight after I already rearranged your insides?" He smacked a hand on your ass again, smirking when he heard you choke back a broken cry of bliss.
"Awwa, my bad. I took you off my cock before you could cum," The condescending tone he used made your cheeks flush, drool pooling around your cheeks onto the pillow.
He grabbed a handful of your hair, yanking your head off the pillows so your moans wouldn't be muffled. He wanted to hear you scream while you creamed hard on his cock, crumbling underneath the sheer weight of his dominance.
And it sounded so fucking sweet to Scaramouche.
"My compliments to you for not ripping the maid uniform off of me earlier," He pulled out only to slam himself back inside of you, groaning when you came screaming on his cock. "I think it's time for you to put it on instead. You'll be the most delicate little maid fuck toy for me."
634 notes · View notes
utterlyazriel · 3 months
Text
whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)
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a/n: here she is... chappie four <3 thank u for ur patience and 1000 kudos to the anon that made a plot suggestion that i had already written lmao-- as always let me know what u think! things are heating up....
word count: just under 4k
synopsis: You return to regular training for the first time in a month. Azriel asks a favor from Rhys and finds you in a less than stellar condition when he returns to camp
CHAPTER FOUR :: FRIENDS
Velaris is a sight for sore eyes.
After nearly a month of endless white scenery, of the blinding glint of the sun against snow, paired with endless pine, the sight of a city is a reprieve in itself.
And because it’s Velaris — because it’s home — something else settles within Azriel.
A hackle that always stays on high alert finally lies down. The constant agitation of his shadows falls into a calming hush. He breathes easier.
He's back with his family and can be here to keep them safe if need be. He's back to the closest semblance of comfort he's ever known.
Where do you find comfort?
Azriel blinks a little, taken aback at the abruptness of the thought.
The lone shelter in the mountains, spaced out from the circle of buildings, every bit representing your isolation from the people of the camp — that was your home.
Where you resided and took solace from the world in, the place you felt safest. But... it's no place of comfort. It's a crutch. A necessary support. Somehow, Azriel has no doubt that if you could survive out in the snow, burrowed amidst the elements, you would, if only to have one less thing to maintain.
You've never even seen a city before, he thinks. All you know is the mountains.
Suddenly, eyes cast across the breathtaking beauty of Velaris, the hum of the Sidra carving its way through his beloved home, the buzz of people on the streets, Azriel recalls the very time he lay eyes on it himself.
It never stops being breathtaking. That much is true, but then again, there was no comparison to the first time.
The warm feeling that had grown in his chest. The way something he hadn't known ever existed within him had unfurled, like a flower blooming in the sun. Something Azriel now knows to be hope.
He hadn't known a place this beautiful could exist.
Wouldn't have been able to dream it up when all he had known for so, so long was darkness and shadow.
Even in the time after the cage, all there was to see was the white of winter and the cold bite of the harsh mountains. He learned how blood looked melting into the snow, how to sleep with one eye open, and all the different shades of cruelty.
Azriel remembers being unable to comprehend the sight, the stumble in his heart at the indisputable proof before him. That despite what had been drilled into him by his father, his brothers, by every Illyrian warrior who punched down on bastards, there was a place where peace reigned above all.
People who lived in harmony. Where Art and music are considered a treasure alongside other skills, each equally important. And Azriel belonged there, as much as any of them.
It had been one thing to walk through the city, to marvel at every cobblestone, at the trims lining each and every window, to have people regard him with such a polite and casual manner — not a second glance at his wings or his hands.
It had been something else entirely to fly over it as night fell.
Mountain ridges illuminated by his most constant friend, the rising moon, watching the moonlight spill over the dark red rock of the mountain and paint it ever softer. Sweet ocean air and the very perfume of the city intertwined within the current as he soared above it, mighty wings beating.
Azriel could remember that first day and night in Velaris vividly, like an unforgettable dream. How easy it had been to fall in love with it, to let its arms unfurl and to allow himself to make a home within them.
Looking out across it now, as Faelights begin to twinkle and blink to life as the night creeps in, all Azriel can think of is how much he wants that for you.
To bring you here. To have both of you fly above the city and wander down the streets aimlessly, to show you that there were places far kinder in this world than all you had known before.
He yearns for you to have the same dawning realisation he did—that so much more existed outside of those gods forsaken mountains.
Azriel knows you're a very guarded male. You have more than enough reasons to be. He's already pushed a thousand boundaries you have and each time you let him into your sanctuary in the mountains is a sign of enormous trust.
Maybe for that reason, Azriel wants to be the first to extend that kindness to you.
A twinge in his chest sings a different, golden answer.
Azriel ignores it and steals one more look out at his home, swallowing down how all logic seems to be pointing to the same thing, time and time again.
He finds the High Lord in his study, papers stacked high on his desk that have only grown higher in Azriel's absence. His dark hair is tousled in a way that means he's been running his hand through it too much.
Azriel lifts the shadows from beneath his feet as he enters, letting the other hear the sound of his soft footsteps. Rhys looks up at the new arrival. Despite his tired appearance, it does nothing to dim the grin that overtakes his lips at the sight of his brother.
"My, my, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"
Azriel grins back, stepping forward Rhys pushes back from his desk and stands. His usual wings have been hidden away through his magic and Azriel notices their absence when he pulls him into a brief hug. Rhys lingers close, his violet eyes raking over his friend.
"Not bad to see you either."
"You flatter me." Rhys purrs, his voice all buttery and smooth. "You've got new eyebags. Overworking yourself as usual, are we Az?"
"I presume you make such lovely comments about Feyre too?"
"And risk her wrath?" Rhys smiles, eyes glittering at the mention of his mate. "Never."
Azriel rolls his eyes, letting his obvious endearment at his brother's happiness show. They truly are a perfect pair.
He crosses his arms across his broad chest tightly, if only to hide the fleeting flicker of wanting the spools tight in his chest. A ribbon of envy, woven between his ribs.
If Rhys notices, he doesn't comment. Instead, he says, "Usually, you're itching to escape the mountains but not this time I see."
He pauses, eyeing up the Shadowsinger to see what response it'll give. Azriel yields no comment back. Expecting this, Rhys smiles.
"Either way, you'll be happy to hear that Cassian has returned from his time off and is ready to resume his usual duties."
Azriel stills at the words.
He knew that Cassian would at one point return to his usual positions and that Azriel himself, would return to his spymaster post. But it's come sooner than expected. Perhaps, time with you has been passing far quicker than Azriel thought.
"I found the cause of the rumours."
"Yes, I assumed you had," Rhys says, wandering back around the deck to slump into his chair. He leans one arm against the armrest, his knuckles against his temple.
"I also assumed that you spent all that time dealing with it. Much of a problem?"
Azriel considers his words carefully. The trust he's managed to garner with you is fragile, though he knows his friend would not severe it or interfere if he asked.
Another part of him knows it's unusual behavior of him, to offer his skills so willingly to a stranger. But, well, you're not exactly a stranger anymore.
"There's a male.” Azriel begins, choosing his words carefully. “A bastard, the one causing all the stir-ups. He feeds the other bastards when he can. It's what had Lord Mylind kicking a fuss."
Rhys curses lightly at the realisation of just which camp they are dealing with.
"He's learning to make healing tonics," Azriel continues, noting how Rhys' head straightens up a fraction. Interested. "In hopes of slipping them to freshly clipped females. To see if it can reverse the damage."
Rhys sits back in his chair completely, his hand brushing over his mouth in deep contemplation. For a moment, he says nothing.
"I suppose I don't need to ask if there's been any female training then."
Azriel feels himself glower instinctively, his wings hiking up an inch higher without meaning to. He thinks of Lord Mylind and the conversation he had on the first day in their camp. The sheer display of male arrogance, snarling, and threatening violence outright.
"No.”
Rhys curses again, his eyes crushing closed. He seems to filter through a pained reaction, his face contorting until it lands on a tired resignation.
“The camp of Exordor made very good on a bargain struck during a very hard time.” Rhys grits the words out.
Something dangerous flashes in his eyes at the mention of the deal that had turned sour. A cold ripple of night shudders through the room.
No amount of soldiers supplied during the war had been worth the suffering that camp Exodor alone produced— or continues to produce if the whispers that came out of there held an inkling of truth.
It’s a rotten place, tucked deep in the mountains, and some of the worst brutes Rhys has ever had the displeasure of meeting were born in the bowels of that place.
“It doesn’t lift for another 50 years." Rhys sighs, his voice wavering with a hint of shame. "I can’t touch them without slaughtering them all— innocent or not.”
Azriel didn’t say anything for a moment. This information is not new. He watches as Rhys digests his silence, leaning back in his chair as the wheels spin in his head, dizzyingly fast.
For the second time, Rhys' brows jump.
“You’re helping him.”
Not a question.
Azriel nods.
"You don't want Cassian to take back over."
"No," Azriel murmurs. "Not yet. The male is... He's guarded. Isolated. It has taken time to earn his trust. I believe in what he wants to do and I believe he has what it takes to achieve it.”
He thinks of the quiet evenings within your shelter, your patience as you taught Azriel what you could — how you took every piece of information from him on the chin, not one complaint of ever tiring. He thinks of the heaving in his chest, the tug on his heart.
"I ask that you let me see this out." Azriel finishes, his shoulders rolling back as he stands tall. Let Rhys understand how this had become more than just a mission to him; it’s a personal calling, one he must answer, one that he needs to see out to the end.
Rhys surveys him intensely, unblinking for a moment. Then something devious crosses his face, catching in a smile.
"That's not the only thing you want to ask me, is it?"
Azriel looks to the ground, suddenly bashful. This would be entirely too revealing of the closeness he felt, to ask this, to offer this. He asks anyway.
"I wish, with your permission, to take Heartstriker." Azriel's voice rumbles lowly. He forces his eyes back up, meeting Rhys' strong gaze. "To gift to him."
Something dips into Rhys' smile, threatening a smirk and for that reason alone, Azriel feels his ears tinge hotly. His face remains calm, however, giving nothing away.
"Heartstriker? As a gift?" Rhys repeats, with a sly smile. "Pray tell Brother, when's the wedding? Since when have you ever been known for gift giving, let alone something as dear to you, such as a sword? I might just have to meet this bastard."
Azriel’s ears only get hotter, betraying him. He prays it doesn't show on his face, though he's sure the increased swirlings of his shadows give him away. And Rhys’ infallible ability to read his flustering each and every time.
"Is that permission?"
Rhys, seemingly realising he won't be getting any juicy details, quits tormenting his brother with a flourish of his hand. He leans back in his chair relaxed, a softness creeping into his expression.
"It's been yours to take all these years, Az." Rhys finally lands on. "You did earn it, after all."
The shelter looks bigger without him here.
Betrayingly, it’s the first thought you have when the door swings open, letting you into your nest of safety. You heave in a breath that rattles loudly and it gets swept up in the foul whistle of the Mother's Kiss.
On your side, your blood-soaked hand clutches your abdomen tightly. Pain spiderwebs up your body, fraying every nerve with a burning agony.
Every step feels loud and clumsy.
You cough as softly as you can, yet still feel the warmth of blood on your lips. The familiar metallic tang overwhelms your mouth.
You must be dripping blood behind you, dragging a slushy mess of crimson snow in on your boots. Fuck, what are you doing again? Your head throbs. They must've knocked your head hard this time if you're losing focus this quickly.
The Mother's Kiss howls fiercely, a reminder of the cruelty outside your little haven.
Right. You remember you need to close the door— and you shove the deadbolt closed along with it. If your ribs were aching a little less, you would reach up and do up the second deadbolt too, at the top of the door. You try to anyway.
Your arm gets mid-way up before you freeze, pain lashing every nerve in your midriff, enough to make you wince loudly. The bindings on your chest aren't helping. For a moment, dark spots dance before vision as you quickly tuck your arm back down, moving too quick.
Fuck. Fuck. One deadbolt will have to do.
It feels as if the whole world lurches when you take your next step, blurring like thick taffy for a split second. You stumble towards your bed and realise as you sink onto your knees on the edge of it, you need to dress your wounds.
Another bloody cough. Has your nose stopped bleeding yet? It's impossible to tell between each and every other ache.
What were you doing again?
Without meaning to, you begin to slump over, nearly lying down in your bed.
Dressings! That's right, you need to make sure the wound on your side isn't still bleeding, need to make sure it's clean when it finally begins to clot, need to...
Need to... what did you need to do?
That's right— you need to sleep.
Your head crumples against the pillow like a dead-weight as you collapse against it, exhausted. As your consciousness wanes, you cough again, a splatter of red spraying your pillow.
Not good, you think absentmindedly. Eyes slipping shut, you miss the familiar figure out the window, approaching through the storm.
You're wincing before you even realise you're awake.
Crackling. Logs spitting out little snaps fill the air, the quiet roar of a hearty fire; the first things you hear when you come too, far too slowly for your own liking. Your left ears hum loudly in discomfort— no doubt a result of one of the harsh hooks you had caught in the face earlier today.
Next, you smell something... clean?
Your tongue comes out gingerly, licking your cracked lips and you realise quite suddenly, there's an absence of blood on them. The thought slams into you at the same time you realise; you hadn't been able to stay awake for long enough to even light a fire.
Panic reaches through your ribs and grips your heart, tight, and you sit up without thinking.
Pain follows you closely like a lazy afterthought that slams into you, soaking into your body meanly and making you regret moving so fast. Your head swims heavily, throbbing dully.
A pained noise threatens to leave your lips and you force it down. Then force your head up, eyes blinking rapidly, trying to assess the threat, trying to do something.
Panic squeezes your heart painfully again when your hazy vision clears just enough to reveal the shape of a body before you— your blood chilling in your veins as you realise there's somebody else in here with you.
The whimper you held back before slips out before you can help it, your body squirming backward without thought. Your breaths comes out in sharp pants, bursts of pain accompanying each one, and right as you hit the wall, your vision focuses.
Your lungs empty in relief.
It's Azriel before you, on his knees, his scarred hands are held out in front of him.
They aren't touching you, just hovering, his palms up to indicate he means no harm. His wings are tucked back, hunched down to be smaller than usual, and all around him, his shadows whirl about animatedly.
There's an expression on his face you've never seen before.
"—on't move," He's saying, his low voice finally registering in your ringing ears. His hazel eyes are fixed on your face, darting about quickly. "You'll re-open your wounds."
He's talking about your wounds but for some gods forsaken reason, all you can think is how surprised you are that he came back.
The thought loops endlessly, like a holy mantra —he came back, he came back, he came back— and you realise that you were both terrified and also sure that he wouldn't be coming back at all.
That somehow, somewhere along his trip back to his home, he would have realised you weren't anything worth coming back for.
"Azriel?" You wheeze.
Just to check—you have to check.
Maybe he's a mirage. He certainly would be the kindest mirage you can think of.
You think you see something soften on his face, his wings dropping an inch lower behind him. His hands are still held out before you, still waiting. He's endlessly patient. His shadows seem to slow a bit, less frenzied.
"Yeah," He murmurs gently in response. His hazel eyes burn as they take in the sight of you again. "They got you pretty messed up. huh?”
You're sitting on your bed still, you realise. Blinking slow, you take an inhale, trying to put together how he got here— your eyes fly to the door. It's locked, this time with both deadbolts secured.
Azriel follows your gaze, turning his head slightly. "They're a good precaution. Don't be dissuaded that the spymaster of this court managed to get past them."
You wheeze again, some delirious laugh that gets cut off when pain splinters through your side. You groan lowly, unable to hold it in and your hand creeps slowly to paw at your side.
Faintly, you can feel the scrape of bandages on your skin, covering the wound, and sigh in relief. It makes your diaphragm sink down, the bindings around your chest shifting and that sends a frantic bolt of alarm through you once more.
“You—” The word scratches out your throat and you cough weakly. Every instinct starts to light back up, hackles rising— there has never been someone else around when you're too weak to defend yourself. It takes a moment with eyes closed and measured breaths to lean into your trust. You trust him, you know you do.
“You... patched me up?”
The question comes out wary and pointed despite your efforts. Though that might just be the gravel in your throat from having your face beaten in.
You don’t know how to covertly ask if he saw— if, that when he pushed your bloody shirt up to nurse the slash in your side, he noticed the gauze around your ribs.
It's an alien and terrifying thought, Azriel finding out. A worry deep in the marrow of your bones warbles in response, a thousand hairs standing up on end at the possibility.
How a revelation of that magnitude could sever the first trust you've had in years.
How it could lose... the first friend you've ever truly had.
A string of nausea tugs in your throat, bile threatening, and you have to swallow it down with the crippling fear that's been thrust into your system.
This is how it goes. The intrinsic balance of the world —to be gifted closeness and friendship, is to submit to the possibility of losing it.
Back against the wall, it settles into you very starkly, a thought sharp and clear; you do not want to lose him in any way.
Some part of you thinks he must see you as some kind of starving mutt, growing far too attached to the first hand that feeds it. But looking at him now, his shadowed face and kind expression, the depth of his eyes... you're convinced he sees something more to you.
And you want him to, desperately.
In a way you can't comprehend, can't begin to understand— how can you be so tied to someone you've known for so little? How can it hurt so much to be parted from him when you're barely friends? When he doesn't even know who you truly are.
Perhaps, you think, this is what all friends are like. You wouldn't know, you haven't had any before.
Azriel nods mutely, a strand of his dark hair falling over his forehead. He seems to be considering his words carefully and you take the moment to steal a few deep breaths.
When he speaks, his voice is softer than you’ve ever heard. "I understand that might be... crossing a line. But—" A waver in his voice. "— but I could smell the blood from out in the storm."
There's something left unsaid in his sentence, his tone clipped. Whatever it is, you're far too tired to discern it. Your body, overwhelmed with tension, abruptly loosens as the perceived threat of danger seeps away. It drains you, a sudden wave of tiredness cresting upon you— because you know, undoubtedly, you're safe now.
Not quite meaning to but unable to stop yourself, you sink down and fall limply against your bed. Your wing curls over you defensively, a blanket and shield all in one.
Azriel's hands finally lower, resting gently atop his thick thighs. His shadows dim their chaotic activity, almost lazy with how they whirl about his neck and shoulders. You wonder absentmindedly what they feel like against his skin.
Looking back at his face, you find his eyes haven't broken their watchful gaze on you— intense enough to stir up an unfamiliar warmth within your chest. You avoid it and his eyes, your tired eyes catch sight of something behind him.
"You brought...?" You can't quite finish your sentence, a vicious shiver wracking your frame, making you curl up closer. Tiredness chases it, the threat of sleep looming closer and closer.
Your eyes close without meaning. In the darkness, Azriel's voice swims before you, muted and far away.
"You have to get better before I can give it to you." His voice has dropped to a whisper. It makes your lips twitch in an attempt of a smile. It's funny, hearing a legendary Illyrian warrior like him whispering.
"Okay," You might say back— though you're not sure if it sounds like a word at all.
It doesn't matter. You're already asleep.
[NEXT PART: CONFIDANTS]
tags <3
@strangerstilinski @janebirkln @itsswritten @mischiefmanagers @hnyclover @waytoomanyteenagefeels @idkitsem @illyrianbitch @jeweline16 @fightmedraco @iamjimintrash @maeandering @spideytingley @aneekapaneeka @cassianswh0reeee @viciane @astarlitsoul @mybestfriendmademe @archiveofcravings @reputaytionn-13 @bionic-donut @chessebookgirl @itseightbeats @littleblackcatinwonderland @twsssmlmaa @fanworrior @skysayhi @vintageoldfashion @tequilya @fabulouslyflamboyant5
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kiss-me-cill-me · 4 months
Note
i’m not sure if anon has already requested a character for that song but if ur up for it CAN WE HAVE THAT SONG WITH JONATHAN CRANE. also i just listened to that song for the first time in like 3 years and got major deja vu lmao 😭
also ps i love u and ur writing !!!
This is related to another ask from an anon, requesting a fic based off of Katy Perry's song, The One That Got Away. I am so sorry to both of you that it's taken me forever to write this, but thank you for your patience and support <3
Now We Pay The Price | Pt. 1
Pairing: Jonathan Crane x Reader
Word Count: 2.8k
Summary: Life hasn't turned out exactly the way you wanted it to. Isolated and distraught as you watch time slip by while you sit, trapped in Arkham, your only wish is to recapture the way that things used to be.
Warnings: Angst, whump, sexual themes but no explicit smut, mental health themes, obsession, unhealthy relationship dynamics, mention of needles, mention of sedatives, unrequited love, established past romantic relationship, ambiguity
A/N: I hardly ever write angst, so please be gentle with me lol. But with the song inspo, I couldn't help but go in that direction. Slightly nervous to post this, but also happy that I've branched out from my comfort zone a bit!
***Please read the warnings before continuing. Minors DNI***
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Lying on your stomach, feet in the air, you stretched the thin cotton sheets with your hand. Just enough to give them the tension you needed to glide a ballpoint pen over the fabric, scratching over and over the same mark to make it appear complete. This was far from the perfect medium for doodling - but sheets were what you had, and so they were what you used.
Even the pen was contraband. You knew you weren’t supposed to have it. What anyone thought you’d do with it… honestly, you had no idea. As if you could use a pen for anything other than what you were wrapped up in doing now - carefully and determinedly drawing hearts.
You stopped to rest your head for a moment on the pitifully thin pillow. Across the room, blank white concrete stared back at you. Day in, day out. Endless. The same room with the same walls.
Picking up the pen again, you placed the tip right in between the lobes of one of the many hearts. Scratch, scratch, scratch. A messy, zig-zagging line bisected the doodle. 
Broken.
You sighed, and started to color a different heart, filling it with blue ink that didn’t seem very inclined to stick to the bed sheets. It was slow going. The deep azure tint reminded you of deoxygenated blood, like you would see in a textbook diagram. Once the heart was completely filled, you moved dutifully on to the next.
A rustling at your door made you jump. Quickly, you stuffed the pen under your pillow, and turned up the sheets to hide your drawings. It wouldn’t be very good for you if anybody saw them.
You sat up, arranging your rumpled jumpsuit as neatly as you could. Leather straps hung off the sides of your bed, and you spared them a glance, bristling at the memories of having them lashed over your body. 
The metal door slid open slowly, until you could finally see…
Him. Your heart skipped a beat and a half as he stepped stiffly into the room, pulling the door shut behind him. He didn’t make a show of locking it, but it was still all too hard to miss the way his hand stopped short at the keyhole, before slipping into his pocket.
“Jonathan. I’m so glad-”
“Don’t call me that,” he bristled. “In here, we don’t know each other. Please. You always forget that.”
“...Dr. Crane,” you corrected yourself. 
His tone was so bitter that you could feel it in the very back of your throat, trying to claw its way down to your heart. You swallowed, trying to bite back the taste.
“I’m sorry. I was just happy to see you.” You smiled, pushing through your discomfort, for his sake.
Crane was clearly agitated. He took a few steps into the room, before turning around and facing the door. For one brief moment, you couldn’t see his face, until finally he turned back. His eyes were ice as they stared down at you.
“Do you have any idea how difficult you’ve been making things for me?” he spat. 
The accusation hurt, of course. Though you knew very well what he meant. You had been acting out, more than usual, as of late. And although it wasn’t without a purpose, you could see that it was wearing him thin. But… how else were you supposed to see each other? 
Arkham Asylum wasn’t exactly known for its model patients. It took a lot to get Dr. Crane’s attention.
“If we spent more time together, I wouldn’t be so difficult,” you replied, trying to keep your tone even.
Crane pinched the bridge of his nose, in that way that you were well acquainted with. He’d always had that habit. Back when you’d first met, you had loved making him get frustrated - just enough for a laugh. Some things never changed.
“You’re really backing me into a corner,” Crane sighed. “And I really wish you wouldn’t.”
“Let’s talk,” you offered, patting the bed. “That’s what you’re here for, right?”
Crane, reluctantly, sat down. You could sense his exhaustion in the way that he almost collapsed onto the bed, hands gripping the edge for support. You inched a bit closer, enough so that your knees touched briefly. Crane pulled away.
You wanted to reach out; put a hand on his shoulder, just like you’d done so many times before. He used to like it when you touched him. Sometimes, you liked to think that yours was the only gentle embrace that he had ever known. Maybe it was silly, but the thought of it always made you feel better.
Now, Crane’s eyes held nothing but menace as he glared over at you, as if you were a stain on the bed sheets. You wondered, vaguely, what had happened to change things.
So much. So much that had led you to this place, where you could be so close to him and yet felt more separated than ever.
“I hate to say it, Doc, but I think I’m going crazy in here,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.
He barely had a reaction; a deep sigh the only hint that he’d heard what you said at all.
“And why do you think that is?” he asked, finally. 
The psychiatrist in him always came through to shove even more distance between you. Like a shield, put up just when you’d started to press through the fog of tension that hung heavy in the room. You swallowed your frustration at being kept out, and tried to answer him honestly.
“Because I barely get to see you,” you replied.
That was the wrong answer, and Crane’s shoulders swung abruptly to face you. 
He was scary like this. Almost scary, anyway. If you didn’t know him better, the look in his eyes would have sent you cowering. 
But you did know him, so well, and you remembered with sudden clarity that he’d always been bothered by feeling inadequate. You felt awful; you hadn’t meant to imply that he wasn’t doing enough.
“I’m sorry,” you soothed, before he could say anything. “I know that you’re busy, but-”
“But you continue to make yourself into a problem,” he hissed. “You know the only reason you’re in here instead of rotting away over at Blackgate is because of me, right?”
You nodded, too shocked by embarrassment to speak.
“Then for my sake, why don’t you act like it?”
“I’m…” You paused for a moment, sharp tears welling up in your eyes. “I’m just… lost without you,” you whispered. “You know that. I always told you I would be.”
The first tear fell, and you tried to hide your face.
“Don’t cry,” Crane sighed.
You could hear the harsh tinge of annoyance in his voice, and wished that it was anything else. Even his pity would have been better than knowing that your feelings were now nothing but inconvenience. You choked on your own throat, trying to stifle a sob.
“Please don’t cry,” he mumbled, slightly softer this time.
But now that you’d started, you couldn’t make yourself stop. If anything, the tears were only coming faster, and you felt yourself start to shrink into your own chest. The little black pit that always seemed to sit there, now swiftly opening up to swallow you.
With a deep and lingering exhale, Crane pulled you close. Suddenly, you were back where you both had been, so many years ago: one person’s cheek pressed into the other’s shoulder. Tears soaking into fabric that seemed to be stained with sadness. You let out a half-laugh, half-sob, and nestled into the crook of his neck.
“Remember when I used to do this for you?”
Crane stiffened slightly beside you.
“Things have changed since then,” he muttered. 
Your memory suddenly flashed back to the first time he had used the words “dysfunctional attachment” to describe you. That had hurt worse than anything else. Even more than all of the other occasions to come, when you’d heard those same words and worse fall from his lips. They could never truly compare to that first time, when your whole world had come crashing abruptly to the ground.
His arm dropped away from you, but you kept your face pressed into his shoulder.
“Things haven’t really changed,” you said. “I still belong to you.”
“You don’t.”
Two words that stung worse than hundreds of needles. You tried to pretend that the wind hadn’t been knocked out of you, as you replied.
“I do. And I will. Always.”
You looked up at him with wet eyes, a trace of the old life that you’d shared together still evident deep within your pupils. Even if only the memories of it lived inside of you, they still lived. They were still something.
“You need to move on,” Crane said flatly. “I know it’s not easy in here, with me…” He sighed. “I did what I could to protect you, but maybe it would have been better if I had just stayed out of your case. Blackgate would have at least given you distance.”
“I don’t want distance,” you whispered. “I just want to be with you.”
“You can’t be.”
Always so stubborn.
“I could be, if you’d help me get out.”
Confusion flashed across Crane’s face, quickly replaced with raw terror. 
“Escape Arkham?” His eyebrows furrowed, nearly knitting together. “You can’t be serious. Do you even realize what-?”
“I know, I know,” you hummed. “But just think - we could run away together, just like we always talked about.”
“Stop.”
“Don’t you remember? We promised-”
“Things. Change.” Crane’s voice almost shook as it thundered.
You brought a hand up to his face, gently coaxing until he looked at you.
“But they don’t have to,” you breathed. 
Your eyes drifted down to your wrist, to the space just below your thumb, and over the little tattoo that was etched into your skin. A heart - just like the ones littering your blanket, hidden carefully from Crane’s view.
“Remember when you gave me this?” you asked, holding up the tattoo in front of him.
“No; I remember you doing that to yourself.”
“At first, sure,” you chuckled. “But then, you helped me to finish it, ‘cause-”
“Because I didn’t want you to hurt yourself,” Crane muttered. “Just like you always seem to. Even now.”
You ignored his remark as your hands drifted down to collect one of his pale wrists, then lifted up to your face. The sleeve of his suit jacket slipped back, revealing the spot where once, long ago, you had given him the same mark. Just with a felt-tip pen; he would have never allowed you, even back then, to deface his own body in the same way you had yours. 
At the time, the impermanence of it hadn’t seemed to matter. You’d been too distracted; elated by the way that his and your matching blossoms of ink had pressed up against each other as you’d held hands. 
Now, you pressed a kiss to the blank space.
“Us against the world, Jonathan. Remember?”
Suddenly, his fingers pressed into your face, digging into the sides of your chin as he forced you back into focus.
“Don’t call me that,” he warned, once again. “How many times do I have to tell you? That life doesn’t exist in here.”
Your hands still dangled from his wrist as he continued to crush your jaw, not letting you look away. But this was the one part of him that you didn’t want to face. The part that didn’t need you anymore.
“Jonathan. You know the reason I’m in here, don’t you?”
“Are you asking if I know about your case? All of the crimes you committed?” he huffed. “Because yes - I was very involved in the trial, and it was nearly impossible to keep everyone else in the dark about…”
Us was the word that he couldn’t bring himself to say.
“That’s not what I mean,” you said. “I mean, do you know why I did those things?”
“Stop - please don’t tell me this again.”
“I did them for you,” you cried, your emotions getting the better of you again. “I do everything for you. So don’t you dare pretend you don’t need me, when really the only fucking reason you’re not stuck in here with me is because I always-”
“Stop.”
Crane’s hands tore away to grab you by the shoulders, wrenching you back to reality. Somehow he always managed to do that. To pull you straight out of the riptide, just as it was about to sweep you away.
“I never asked you to do what you did,” he hissed, articulating each word between clenched teeth.
“But I did it anyway,” you spat. “Because you always get into trouble. Because I told you I’d be there for you, no matter what. And because I always keep promises.”
“I don’t need you to anymore.” Crane’s hands squeezed you uncomfortably. “I don’t - I didn’t need you to ruin your life for me.”
“My life isn’t ruined if it’s for you.”
“Jesus Christ…”
Crane’s hand came up to rake through his hair, but before he could pull away fully, you caught him. Fingers clenched tight to the front of his suit, you pulled back and forced him to fall with you. Your back hit the bed, and Crane scrambled to catch himself before his full weight could slam into you. His body perched just above yours, caging you in his arms.
“This. You must remember this.” 
Your words were a whisper, barely loud enough to pass from your lips to his ear, despite how close he was. Your legs frantically came up to tug at his waist, trying to force him closer.
“This was the only time I felt alive,” you continued. “When we were like this. You remember.”
How could he not? You could still live in that moment, if you tried hard enough. As if it had been only yesterday. Both of you nervous and fumbling, nearly falling off of the bed as he hovered over you and you clung to him. 
The way that your bodies had melted together, almost desperately, in a way that had made you feel certain that neither one of you would let go. Letting go then had meant something worse than death; it meant a life that dragged on without you and him together. 
The stale echoes of passion still rang in your ears as you looked up, silently begging for him to rekindle the spark that had been there.
Crane’s expression was all but impossible to read. His face half-hidden beneath bangs that fell into his eyes. The two-second pause was like a lifetime as you awaited his answer.
“Of course I remember.”
Your heart soared, flying recklessly up.
“But that doesn’t mean it’s the same now.”
Broken. Smashed hard against the cold floor of your cell.
“I don’t believe that,” you breathed. “I can’t. I-”
“You need to,” he interrupted. “Because it’s the truth.”
You stayed stock still on the mattress as Crane briskly pushed himself up, disentangling himself from your limbs. He exhaled as he tugged at his jacket, trying to make himself presentable. 
You weren’t sure how he could find the nerve, after ripping your whole world apart.
“I’m upping the dose on your sedatives,” he informed you, still not meeting your gaze. “But I would prefer if you could find it within yourself to behave so that I don’t have to. I don’t like to do this, but-”
“Appearances…” Your voice drifted through the room. “Have to be kept up.”
He had told you as much, probably dozens of times. Just like he’d told you the old life between you no longer mattered, or even existed. If it ever had.
“I’m glad you understand,” he said shortly. 
His back was already turned, but you looked up to watch him drift out of the room, quickly pocketing the keys on his way out. 
Your head fell back, hard, but the sensation did nothing to ground you. You felt all too lost and adrift; trapped in a situation you had created. This wasn’t how things were supposed to end up.
Your hand drifted silently under the pillow, and wrapped around the barrel of the pen that was still hidden there. 
Suddenly, grotesque understanding of all the reasons why no one would want you to have such a thing flooded into your consciousness. The possibilities were many and bleak, but they all led back to the same conclusion. It was just like you had told Crane earlier.
If your life together didn’t exist in this place, then the only solution was to leave. 
You smiled. With resolve swirling dangerously inside your veins, you vowed to make sure that nothing like this ever happened again. You were going to be together, no matter what. 
There would be no getting away.
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This fic now has a Part 2! Read it HERE
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prettieinpink · 3 months
Note
Hi !
Could u give me some tips on how to stop procrastinating and be more productive (in school and after school) ?
And do you also have any study tips to help me to study much better ?
Thx very much and luv ur blog !
♡♡ Keep up the good work ♡♡
STUDYING EFFECTIVELY IN AND OUT OF SCHOOL
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thank you so much for the support and for your patience!! I hope this post helps you well. I also think this post on procrastination would help as well.
Studying effectively looks different for a lot of people. You will have to try out different methods to see what works best for you specifically. This post will discuss ways to maximize your time in the classroom and reinforce that knowledge outside of school hours.
AT SCHOOL
ASK FOR HELP OR FURTHER UNDERSTANDING. Try your best to engage as much as possible with your teacher or mentor regardless of your understanding. If you need help, ask for it. If you want to advance in your learning, ask more questions. 
LISTEN TO MUSIC. A lot of people fall victim to talking to their friends instead of working. Bring earphones to school and listen to your playlist instead of talking to your friends. If you have your earphones on, you won’t feel obligated to join in the conversation and others most likely won’t bother you. 
TAKE EFFECTIVE NOTES. You don’t have to do an overly specific way of writing notes, but make sure your notes are clear, concise, and understandable for you. A thing I try to do is leave a little room at the bottom of the page in which I can summarise everything without looking at prior notes.
CARRY A WATER BOTTLE. Water helps boost your brain productivity, so carry it to all of your classrooms.
UTILISE LUNCH & RECESS. Giving up your lunch and recess for more studying is not ideal, but it’s better to set in fresh knowledge than go home and completely forget everything. Or, you can use this time for assignments or studying for assessments.
AFTER SCHOOL
REMEMBER TO REFUEL AND TAKE A BREAK. Studying can be hard after you come back from 6-8 hours of already doing that. Eat something, exercise, do something fun, watch a show. Give your brain a break before studying.
HAVE AN EVERYDAY STUDY ROUTINE. Maybe you wanna dedicate some time to your flashcards or revise back on your notes, or you can have your focus change for each day of the week.
(FAVE) STUDY METHODS
FLASHCARDS. Flashcards are so easy to do everywhere, which is what I like about them. I could do it while waiting for something, while bored, on a car/bus ride, or even just a few before going to bed. Requires zero energy while still getting a lot out.
WHITEBOARD METHOD. Though, you can use a mirror. It’s just writing everything on a whiteboard. From ideas, diagrams, and questions. The reason why I feel like this method is so effective is because it’s so engaging, unlike a laptop or pen and paper.
BLURTING. You most likely did this in primary school, but it’s just writing down everything you know and then checking for gaps in knowledge. I love this method because it’s also a really simple way to study yet it’s so effective.
SQ3R. Survey, question, read, recite, and review. This one requires a bit more focus, but it does help to retain more information than just skimming through the text. 
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