#thank you for being you 🤍

[comphyjost]

hey, @suitandtys i have a message for you from the captain!

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

jungkook + mic stands for @cosmicdreamgrl cr. 0613data, namuspromised

[flowercrowngods]

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 (these make one big story, you won't understand this part without the others)

day 04: here come the tears

a/n: the people have requested a surprise eddie pov and i have decided to pull a eurovision and ignore the public vote, just a little bit. but you get a tiny eddie pov, as a treat 🤍

Steve is crying. It's 1:07 a.m. and Steve is crying. And there is nothing Eddie can do about it as he's lying in bed, his heart breaking further with every passing second that they lie there in silence, quiet sniffles carrying over the phone. 

Steve is crying and Eddie is breaking. Steve is not talking to him and Eddie is breaking. Steve is not okay, and neither is Eddie. They're both breaking. 

And Eddie doesn't know what to do about it, how to fix it. How to make it better. How to tell Steve that he misses him, how to ask him to talk to him, how to keep him. To stop him from slipping through his fingers further and further until all there is is silence. 

"You know," his mind wanders back to years ago, his heart cracking at the memory. "I had the biggest crush on him for the longest time. Forever, really."

He remembers the way Steve's eyebrows shot up, his eyes round with... shock? Surprise? Or maybe something bad? 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah," Eddie had chuckled, fiddling with the straw in his drink to give his hands something to do. "Remember that kiss?" Steve nodded. "Well." Another chuckle, awkward this time, and possibly too revealing. 

Steve grinned at him, a self satisfied smirk that wavers just a little. "So you're saying you did fall madly in love with me, Munson?" 

Eddie's breath had hitched a little because Steve remembered those words so perfectly that had since doomed Eddie completely. But he covered it up with a laugh so easily, he was sure Steve didn't notice. 

"Maybe," he grinned. "But eh, that's in the past." 

It wasn't a lie; not really. But wasn't the truth either. 

The truth was that Eddie had moved on. The truth was that it's the kind of crush that was never really a crush. The kind that is a Forever more than anything else. 

The kind that will always be there, a flame burning inside my chest that carries your name and keeps it alive, keeps me warm. The kind of flame that will always be ready to become a bonfire again. Just say the word, Stevie. It's written in the universe. Say the word and I'll be yours. 

"Good," Steve said after a while, and Eddie remembers frowning, remembers that he wanted to ask what that tone was, what Steve was thinking. If he was worried or disgusted or felt betrayed that Eddie's been so hopelessly and helplessly in love with him. 

But all he said was, "Yeah. Remember Chrissy? We're kinda official now." 

And Eddie had known then just as he does now, that he'll be a happy man with Chrissy. She's his best friend, a sunshine on bleak days. She's no Steve, but she makes him happy. He had to move on from Steve – to try – and allow himself his own kind of happiness. He'd never expected to find it with Chrissy, but he loves her so much. He's grown to love her in the past years – not the movie kind of love, not the all-encompassing Steve kind of love, because that flame inside his chest can still only carry one name. 

But life is not a movie. And love is not always a fire. But he's still warm, still content, still happy. And so is Chrissy. She knows about his flame, says she understands. Eddie thinks he has one of her own, but he never asked; just held her that night, creating more of that silent happiness.

…Is he happy? Lying in bed, listening to Steve's quiet breaths that are barely audible over the phone, remembering the kiss, the confession, the Forever that he tried to move on from, he wonders what he's doing. Wonders if that contentment is worthwhile if it somehow lead him to losing Steve. 

Did he miss something? Did he fuck up without realising? 

He can't ask; Steve won't talk. 

All he can do is lie there and feel that flame that still carries Steve's name after ten, eleven, twelve years scorching his insides. 

All he can do is wonder if the whispered, "Good night, Stevie. I miss you," is some kind of goodbye. All he can do is lie awake all night and wonder where they started losing each other. 

~*~

Missing Eddie is worse than loving him. Missing Eddie makes it feel like all the heartbreak songs are written for Steve and his pain that will persist.

It’s been three months since the engagement party, and the sharp, biting heartache that cut into his lungs every time Steve tried to take a deep breath has dulled now, turned into a constant ache, an emptiness, the sorrowful traces of where an I love you turned into an I miss you. 

He’s barely talking to Eddie anymore, and with every passing day he just misses him more. 

Steve types the words I miss you over and over and over again, but never hits send. Just stares at them, wondering if Eddie knows. Wondering if he’s doing the right thing. He isn’t. There is no right thing. Nothing is right. Not without Eddie. 

He scrolls up in their chat, past Eddie’s questions if he’s okay, past his very own I miss yous, up and up and up to the strings of hearts, to the inside jokes, to the gentle teasing, to the You’re my favourite persons, to the happiness and joy and good, good times. 

He scrolls and scrolls until his phone vibrates and tells him there’s a new message in the chat. Steve frowns, his hollow heart racing as he scrolls down again to see Eddie’s new message. 

Eddie Munson: — Can I come over? 

Steve frowns. 

— why? are you okay? 

Eddie Munson: — No. — Nothing is okay. You’re gone and you’re not talking to me and I miss you and I’m losing you and I don’t know why — I dont know anything. — I just wanna know, wanna talk, wanna understand — I wanna fix this. I fucked up, I think, and I wanna make it better. — I need to talk to you — Please. Please can I come over 

Steve swallows hard, as he reads the incoming messages over and over again, watching the little bubble that says Eddie’s typing still. Watching as it disappears and reappears, reading until his eyes begin to sting and his vision is blurred with tears for the first time this week. 

Letting them fall as he types, 

— no. please dont 

Eddie doesn’t reply to that, and Steve breathes out long and hard, throwing his phone to the side, not caring where it lands on the couch as he slumps over to the other side, turning up the music even louder. 

Oh, can you tell I haven’s slept very well Since the last time that we spoke. I said, ‘Please understand I’ve been drinking again And all I do is hope.’

It consumes him, this song and the way it was written for him. The way it was written about him. Because he has no right to ask Eddie to stay. He’s the one who’s leaving. He’s the one not telling Eddie what is wrong, why he’s pulling back so suddenly. 

I’m not strong enough for the both of us. What was I supposed to do, You know I love you. Please, stay.

Please stay. Please, please, please stay. It’s about him. It’s about Eddie. About them. 

And Steve listens to it over and over again, not caring that his neighbours will know it by heart by know, will be so tired of him wallowing for weeks and months, and will come knocking soon. He doesn’t care, not when Mayday Parade are singing, All the love’s still there, I just don’t know what to do with it now. 

He types that into Eddie’s chat. Doesn’t hit send. Sends it to Robin instead, and gets a shaking hands emoji in return. It makes him smile as he re-starts the song. 

~*~

That night, he wakes around 2 a.m. to a missed call an hour ago and one new message on his mailbox. He lifts his phone to his ear with shaking hands and bated breath, a pit opening in his stomach when he hears the Judas Priest song that’s been in his Sad Eddie playlist since the beginning. 

His heart cracks open when he hears Eddie’s sniffle, a heavy sigh, and another sniffle, followed by a little, Fuck. 

“Stevie? I’m… You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to just— to just disappear. To slip through my fucking fingers, or float away like a— a dream, when you wake up, and you wanna go back to sleep because it was a good dream, and you— I don’t wan’ you to be a good dream Steve. You’re like… Fuck, man!” 

Eddie’s voice is breaking, and so is Steve’s heart as his hand begins to tremble and he sits up in bed, closing his eyes, squeezing them shut because he doesn’t want to see the world as Eddie’s rambling at him. 

“I miss you. I miss you so much, and I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t… I don’t wanna miss you. How do I get you back, Stevie? Please just… God, please just talk to me. I’d do anything for you, you know that. Just tell me, just say the word. Just… Just say the word, please.” 

There’s silence after that, only Judas Priest’s Here come the tears over and over as the song is ending. Steve is crying as he listens to Eddie’s silence. 

“Just. Just… Please, Stevie.” 

The call ends then, the line cutting to the staticky voice instructing him to save or delete the message. Steve saves it. He doesn’t know why. 

He also doesn’t know why he’s scrolling through his contacts with trembling hands and hits Call when he reaches Eddie. 

The call doesn’t even get to the second ring before it’s picked up already. 

“Stevie?” Eddie sounds breathless, wild, and just a little hoarse. Like he was still crying. 

“Hi,” he says lamely, still shaking, a little breathless himself, and with absolutely no idea what he should say. 

“I’m… Hi.” 

Silence falls, and Steve wipes at his eyes. He’s still in bed, just sitting there with his phone pressed to his ear, and the ball that’s coiled inside him is growing larger and larger with each passing second that he doesn’t say Sorry, that he doesn’t say I miss you, too. That he doesn’t say I love you. 

“Can I come in?” 

He blinks, the question throwing him off his thought spiral. “Huh?” 

“I’m sort of… outside your building right now.” 

Why, he wants to ask. No, he wants to say. You’re gonna see, you’re gonna know, you’re gonna hate me forever. 

“Okay,” he breathes and climbs out of bed, blanket around his shoulders despite the summer heat, because suddenly he’s freezing. He buzzes Eddie in, listens to him on the phone as he walks up the stairs, neither of them thinking of hanging up, and opens his doors with shaking, trembling hands. 

tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @imzadidragonfly @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript (sorry if i missed anyone just give me a shout if i did <3)and thanks to everyone who said nice things about this 🤍🌷

come back tomorrow/later for [redacted] | read here

[wmnylander]

thank you cat @girljeremystrong for the tag because this is the cutest thing ever 🥹

come decorate my tree !

tagging literally everyone who i’ve enjoyed seeing on my dash this year! i think everyone should make a tree actually!

@ef-1 @kneelander @dewisnation @atreebreathing @eastoncowan @j-ustkeepgliding @19960525 @583416 @mmarnerz @shoot-the-puck @shaysucksatlife @mattyhatty @malewag @mattynmarns @ahxena @austronauts @bitchell-marner @butchmarner @cujoforever @donttelltheelff @fouraloe @gianniisantetokounmpo @glovehearts @grittysleftnut @glitterandsummerdaze @handandglove @hockeyburner @hamiltonsf1 @kucherovv @marnerism @mitchmrner @mitchyohara @nylwnder @pokedcheck @schecoperez @sergeifyodorov @significant-narratives @tiger-balm @tacoskittles @tufzy @veryknies @wqller & anybody else that sees this!

[ask-shane]

QUICK CHEKUP: you alright there mod? how many asks do you gotta deal with? make sure to take breaks and treat yourself with care❤️

thank you for being so thoughtful anon! my life’s a little hectic right now but i’ll be alright. despite how many asks i have, i try not to stress about it. i just let my queue run on these kinds of days 💪

i hope you all are doing well!

[fluentmoviequoter]

I’m going on a (mini) break.

Hey guys! I wanted to let you know that I’m going to be taking a short break; I don’t think it will be more than a few days, and I’ll still be around to see your messages and everything. I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself to get requests done super fast and keep my inbox empty, and feel like I need to take a step back. That’s absolutely not your fault, though; you guys are amazing and definitely make me feel good when you request!! I just want to take some time for my mental health and then get back into writing when I feel my best again.

Requests will stay open because I’m not planning to be gone for long! They may take a bit longer to be completed because I want to be kinder to myself if that makes sense. But I still love your requests so please don’t stop sending them in!🥰

- Hanna🤍

< main navigation

[foursaints]

i really hope this doesn't come across as weird, but i spent the last two days, i think? going though your meta tags and i found myself saying "i Need to study your brain under a microscope" out loud like twice. i'm genuinely fascinated by your thoughts and i hope you know you have the only valid opinions about rosekiller (together, but also as individuals) ever

rosekiller thesis to me

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

i really wanna, wanna, wanna just dance ♡

for @senor-hoberto 🌷| cr. 0613data

[flowercrowngods]

✨🤍 some steddie softness for @thefreakandthehair's birthday, i hope it's the very best so far! 🤍✨(please please your day comes first, read this whenever you have time and space to breathe 🤍)

Eddie is not a religious man — far from it, actually. But there are a few things that make him believe in higher powers. In angels. In destiny and luck and a love so strong it could conquer everything. 

This very moment is one of them. 

Stevie, soft and sleepy beside him in the back of the car as Nancy is driving, the dim light of the passing street lamps painting his face in hues of gold like the light itself favours Steve Harrington, caressing his features with the softest of shadows. 

He’s beautiful. Ethereal. Perfectly angelic with his eyes closed, his whole body turned towards Eddie in the warmth of the car.

It takes Eddie’s breath away, his heart taking up space where before there were his lungs and ribcage, growing in size until he feels like he is about to burst. And even then he keeps looking, staring at that pretty face that looks so at peace with the whole world right now. Eddie has never seen Steve like this, but now he understands why people start wars. Why people defy gods and death itself to be with their one true love. Why Orpheus looked back. 

He understands. Because Steve, his Stevie, warm and safe and perfectly fine in the backseat of a car? That is everything. He doesn’t even need to kiss or touch so long as he just gets to look. And be. Oh, to be at the same time that Steve is. 

That might just be life’s greatest gift to him. 

A tiny sigh falls from Steve’s lips and Eddie really, really might be about to burst. 

“Hey, angel,” he whispers, because moments like this aren’t made for anything but hushed words, their truths too heavy, too sincere for the world to hear and keep on spinning. He doesn’t need the world to spin as long as there is Steve. 

“Hi,” Steve whispers back, his eyes still closed but the smile lighting up, luring Eddie in like he is but a moth drawn to the flame. 

Eddie leans in and rests his forehead against Steve’s, his hand coming up to cradle a light-kissed cheek. Steve leans into it, following Eddie’s hand like maybe they are twin stars pulling each other closer until there will be an explosion of light and creation. Steve nuzzles against his palm and leans further into Eddie’s body until they share the same breath — but still it’s not enough. 

Eddie wants to say so many things now that their hands are entangled, their soft exhales mixing. But after a while he notices that Steve is humming before gently singing along to the song coming quietly from the speakers. 

“Take it easy with me, please. Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze. Take your time, make it slow. Andante, Andante. Just let the feeling grow.”

Eddie knows the song, recognises it instantly, and his breath gets stuck in his throat once more. Because he has a secret. He loves it. He has imagined for the longest time that one day, someone would make it his song. Sing it for him, to him. 

He’s never told anyone because he has a reputation to uphold and more than enough metal music to listen to, but of course Steve wouldn’t care about his secrets being secret, and just oh so casually make his deepest, most private of dreams come true. 

He’s an angel, that one. A hero. Myths and fairy tales should be woven around that heart of his, folklore speaking of his name until history itself wouldn’t dare to forget. No one can convince Eddie otherwise. Not in that moment, not with Steve singing so quietly, so gently, so adoringly. 

I think I love you. I think I can’t ever stop, not when I’ve seen you like this. Not when you’ve just shown me what life can be about, what it should be about. Gods, I love you and love you and love you. 

That’s what he wants to say. 

But all that comes out is a marvelled, “Shit, Stevie.”

It has the desired effect of a huffed breath, an even wider smile, and Steve cuddling further into Eddie’s side, eyes still closed. Eddie brushes a kiss to Steve’s forehead and feels like maybe his love can make it into the fairy tale, too. 

It will. Oh, it will, when Steve finally lifts his head from Eddie’s shoulder and looks at him through hooded eyes, all soft and sleepy and safe. A moment passes like this and Eddie can’t breathe, maybe he can never breathe again — but it only lasts until Steve slowly, so very slowly begins to lean in to claim Eddie’s lips with a kiss so gentle it could bring him back from the dead. 

Eddie kisses Steve back just as slowly, because in moments like this there is no rush, no hurry. There’s only them, there’s only this. Only a kiss until there is another. 

And with Steve, there is always another. 

Nancy smiles as she is taking the long way to Steve’s house, rounding Loch Nora twice because she knows how comfy Steve gets in cars at night when he doesn’t have to drive and there is soft music playing. 

Eddie kisses her goodbye on the forehead, fully aware of what she’s done. He doesn't tell her about the sun and the myths and all the wars he would start for Steve.

Nights like this are not meant for telling anyone about them. They can hardly be believed as it is. They can only be lived, hand in loving hand.

[elliesgaythoughts]

i love you writing for trans ellie so much!

but doesn't calling her 'daddy' in those fics maybe feel a little odd? like she's still perceived as something 'male'.

this is absolutely no hate! i love all of your fics sm. just curious about your insight on this :)

i get where you’re coming from fr, I personally look at daddy as a gender less term. To me it’s just a pet name straight up, that’s it too me.

The same could be used with baby if you look into it too much, why tf you calling someone a baby??😭

But what I think it is, is that trans Ellie is such a delicate topic bc the last thing we ever wanna do is in anyway make a trans woman fell less than a woman, there’s enough people doing that in this world so we overanalyse everything and nitpick at our fics in fear of othering our women.

But I will take what you said into account and probably stray from using that word if it’s gonna make some of you feel some type of way (bc I love y’all and I’d never wanna make my lil boo’s feel like I’m not thinking of them and trying to take their feelings into account🤍)

(But also I’m like fighting two arguments in my head bc no one bats an eye when non trans Ellie is called daddy so I’m kinda like would trans women want us to tip toe around the term or would that make them feel off, like bitch just call me daddy tf😭)

Girl I just realised I also called her mama in the fic😭 (I’m a mixed bag fr)

my brain does this I always have to sides to what I’m trana say and I never know who’s right

[overtakemerchant]

Rosberg is a loser clinging to relevancy by obsessing and deriding a man who has moved on from their toxic friendship. People can want him to shut up.

the man who is still, to this day, the only one to beat a 7x time world champion in equal machinery can't "cling to relevancy" that is literally impossible, he simply just is relevant #sorry. just cus you don't like him doesnt mean its gonna change anything LMAO. lewis will never be talked about without mentioning nico, and nico will never be talked about without mentioning lewis; nico can be a certified yapper all he wants bc of that😹😹

[leviiackrman]

WHAT DOES YOUR SOLE LOOK LIKE & TYPES OF CANNIBALISM;

I was tagged by @faerune @chuckhansen + @corvosattano to take this uquiz for some kiddos, and I also threw in the most recent uquiz tag cus I’m slow tehe! Thank you sm beloveds🤍

Tagging (anyone and everyone cus idk who’s done what lmao): @risingsh0t @bbrocklesnar @roofgeese @unholymilf @florbelles @arklay @captmactavish @shellibisshe @simonxriley @queennymeria @marivenah @nokstella @mrdekarios @thedeadthree @jacobseed @jackiesarch @heroofpenamstan @dameayliins @carlosoliveiraa @shadowglens @fenharel @alexxmason @tekehu @malefiicarum @brujah @solasan @arthrmorgann @garaviel @baldurians @jendoe + @nightbloodbix

A BIRD IN A COVERED CAGE;

They left without you. Put you out of sight and therefore out of mind. You sing every morning like nothing's changed, talk to the walls to keep yourself company. Just you, the darkness and your own denial that you are completely alone. Nurse your wounds, get yourself some water.

RITUALISTIC CANNIBALISM;

eating others as a religious act, a form of human sacrifice or tradition in the name of a deity. you care a lot about your grades, or used to as a child, and would cry if you got a b in English. you are a people pleaser. you are good at self discipline. you desperately want to achieve success, in whatever way that means to you, and feel the need to devote your life to something you find bigger than yourself, in order for your life to have meaning. you probably had an eating disorder. or an anxiety disorder

BLOOD IN A LAMBS WOOL;

You're the victim, right? It hurts, everyday it hurts. It's obvious you're tainted, pulled into hell as soon as you stepped upon earth. You'll never know peace, you'll never know a life without violence. Im sorry. Wash your face and your hands, don't let your wounds carve deeper.

SURVIVAL CANNIBALISM;

eating others to prevent starvation and not as a part of a cultural practice, usually as a result of an emergency or a famine. my sweet baby angel, you have not been touched by the darkness. I'm sorry if this scared you. you are a normal person with normal person problem. you want to get married. you dance with your friends. and you would never ever eat them (right?) it's surprising what can happen to a person, when pushed to the extreme though. have you ever wondered about that?

A PILE OF BUBBLES, AN IRIDESCENT MESS;

Well aren't you just all over? You're appealing but you're fragile, one wrong move and you lose all that you are. You were meant to be stepped on, broken, but the joy you bring to onlookers is unmatched. Do with that as you will and take very good care of yourself, have a snack.

AUTO CANNIBALISM;

the practise of eating parts of ones own body. you consider yourself an introvert. private and reserved. you don't like asking for help, even when you need it. secretly your biggest fear is being abandoned, which is why you abandon others first. in the end you will be your own destroyer. you stay in a dark room, curled up like a worm, eating yourself.

DOG TEETH;

You're vicious, but you're afraid. You have to make the first punch, and make sure your opponent can't land one. But you need to stop seeing everyone as an enemy. The only one being violent is you, your anger and your defensiveness is killing you. Take a nap, rest your head and clear your mind. Come back in the morning.

FILIAL CANNIBALISM;

the eating of one's own offspring. eating offspring has been documented in a variety of mammal and bird species – as well as fish, insects and spiders. hunger and quality control are among the many reasons proposed for this counterintuitive survivor of natural selection. you think of yourself as a logical person, and you probably went through a hardcore atheist phase. you consider this logic a virtue. to you, logic and emotion are two opposites, where one is superior to the other. wait until you find out that logic is an emotion. you are a great problem solver. your partiality towards objectivism though, is often less helpful than you realise. you have a hard time taking criticism.

[quillkiller]

the "narcissa and lurthur and bellucius" anon here (maybe i'll just start calling myself 🤍anon so that i can recognize my own asks later) , your answer has just made me even more invested in the whole idea. so narcissa had a relationship with alice/lily. the most obvious timeline is it happened in hogwarts, before her marriage. then they all graduate and immediately get married, all three of them. at which point between those two events does narcissa break it off? or is her partner the one to end it? narcissa chooses bellatrix, she refuses to do what andromeda did, she refuses to leave her sister alone. bellatrix becomes her priority, alice/lily gets left. it isn't a surprise to anyone involved because they have been fighting about politics for some time already - alice/lily is incredibly involved in the order, has strong opinions and despises voldemort, while narcissa is absolutely disinterested in the war, her focus is on her personal relationships, her family. the relationship ends, narcissa marries lucius and she never looks back because she has bellatrix and then later draco.

but how does pansy factor into all of this? she's supposed to marry draco, she spends a lot of time at the malfoy manor. what is pansy's relationship with her parents? are they neglectful, is that why it's so easy for her to fall into closeness with narcissa? pansy yearns for care and affection and she'll take it from any sources she has. is narcissa just a source or is she actually important to pansy as a person? then to narcissa pansy is kind of like the younger sister she never had, kind of like a daughter, someone to project onto. she can put pansy in her own position and see what it felt like for druella to have an obedient daughter, a doll. the relationship is a bit similar to sugar mommy - sugar baby thing, narcissa buys pansy expensive clothes, jewelry, teaches her how to do makeup, gives pansy clothes that once belonged to her or her sisters. she invites pansy over, they are alone in the malfoy manor, drinking in the living room and then they somehow end up in narcissa's bedroom, laying in silk bedding, pansy's just in her lingerie and narcissa's touching her (non-sexually, more just like... mapping her body), talking about how she used to be beautiful like that too and how pansy is similar to her sisters

oh, also! do narcissa and lucy have separate bedrooms? i feel like they would

🤍

you're back!!!! hello!!! 🤍🤍🤍

it's making me so so happy that you want to yap about this au with me.. mwah thank you 🤍

(again, she/her for lucius even if she's in the closet)

so!!! narcissa's relationship with either alice or lily can be very different. with alice i always imagine that they were involved in a romantic relationship at hogwarts, and yes in secret. narcissa considers alice the love of her life and the one who got away. if it's a lily/narcissa au then they never properly get together and it's more that they're drawn to each other during their years at hogwarts. they're a little obsessed with each other and neither of them have the vocabulary to comprehend that it's a crush. in this au they're both deeply closeted and smothered by comp-het. i've written a short little one-shot about them before here <3

^ this is the extent of lilycissas relationship, but lily haunts narcissa for the rest of her life

lily isn't the love of narcissa's life, but she could've been. might've been. she represents a life not lived and a love that never was but at least that not-love is narcissa's and narcissa's alone. so depending on the relationship her storyline in the lurthur to bellucius timeline can differ slightly

if it's nobleflower, then i tend to think it's alice who finally breaks it off. but alice is also the one pleading with narcissa to give them a chance. narcissa always knew how it would end but sort of closed her eyes to it. not necessarily in denial, but because she's a hopeless romantic who wanted to ride it out for as long as she could. she'd probably get upset with alice and try to change the subject whenever alice tries to broach the 'what about after hogwarts' subject. and i think alice kind of lets her because they're young teenagers and it's their first love. while you're still full of what-ifs and fantastical hope. there's marriage talk between lucius and narcissa while they're still at school, and narcissa tries to keep this from alice for as long as she can. the news breaks out as soon as narcissa turns 17, which is the catalyst for the nobleflower breakup, andy leaving and narcissa sticking with bellatrix and finall committing to the role assigned to her. she was doomed from the start and now it's here !!!!! her and lucy get married almost immeiately after graduation :/

and yes, bellatrix does become narcissa's top priority !!!! andy leaves for love and narcissa stays for love. cant bear the very idea of leaving bella on her own. bella got married shortly before narcissa, bella has protected them all their lives, and narcissa looks up to her, admires her. bella was both a mother and an oldest sister. narcissa feels indebted to her, i think. indebted in a way andy, the middle-child, never did. here's how i see the black sisters <3 narcissa never dreamed of leaving, she just dreamt of a window in the wall of her cell..... like i said in the previous ask. makes me sick...

AND YES !! EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABOUT THE ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE WAR AND AND NARCISSA BEING DISINTERESTED IN THE WAR BECAUSE IT JUST DOESN'T REALLY PERSONALLY AFFECT HER AND SHE NEVER FULLY UNLEARNS PREJUDICE.... she's just so. sheltered, priveliged, isolated and she never really dreams of getting out and so she never really changes. her point of view only extends so far. until she has draco ...

pansy/narcissa

this is something me and kara have talked about a lot.... and kara is the one who brought up how she usually tend to hc that there was marriage talk between draco and pansy.. but then they have to call it off after the war obviously because the malfoy image is ruined and pansy is the one who sold out harry potter to voldemort. pansy is shunned by the entire wizarding world, deemed a traitor

i always assumed that there's pureblood courting rituals when it comes to potential engagements, and this is how narcissa and pansy get close. i imagine that pansy starts spending more and more time at the malfoy manner, and maybe often even stays the night in the guest room. narcissa sort of takes on the responsibility to prepare pansy for what it means to be a pureblood wife, and that's when they start crossing the line in their relationship because narcissa teaches her how to please a man, how to be submissive, how to be obedient, etc

and yes, this au is also dependant on pansy having a bad relationship with her own parents. i think most pureblood children do, and i think it's even worse if you're a girl in that sense that you're already a disappointment because you're not a son. kara also has a hc that pansy grew up with a lot of brothers and she's the daughter her parents neither wanted or need, so she's just more of less forgotten. she wasn't ever really brought up as a pureblood daughter either because her parents already had sons and several heirs to spare. so they dont really raise her at all. so she's neither a son or a daughter, really.

so pansy never really had a mother, and narcissa doesn't really have sisters anymore. she loves draco, but her girlhood is lost to the past and here comes pansy who reminds her so much of her sister. and here comes narcissa, who's a mother that pansy never had.

there's a whole 'i never had a daughter' and 'it feels like it did with my sisters' and 'i never had a mother' but there's also this. other tension to their relationship. there's this growing intimacy getting mixed up and tangled and wires are crossing. they're both so touch-starved and yearning for what they could be for each other and it's just never enough. it just grows and grows and grows. i don't personally think they ever sleep together, but i do see them sharing a bed and falling asleep together. they're meeting up in secret, late at night. narcissa is bathing and washing pansy. teaching pansy beauty etiquette but there's just this sensual element to the whole thing. narcissa will shave her legs for her, paint her nails, do her hair, etc. and yes, projection is a big part of it. like you said, narcissa being able to put pansy in the same position she has been in, to see what it feels like to be her mother, how it feels to have a daughter- and narcissa absolutely has twisted fantasies about being able to keep pansy. she'll have pansy laid out on the bed like you said, in lingerie, and map her her body with her her delicate fingers, and she'll have twisted fantasies about preserving pansy and keep her just like this for narcissa to play with and do with as she pleases

AND YES !! it absolutely does turn into a sugar mommy / sugar baby type relationship. that's 100% it. narcissa does all these things for pansy, and she spoils her, and buys her things, etc. oh they make me sick ....

pansy does care very deeply for narcissa, but i also do believe that narcissa could've been anyone. pansy is in a very vulnerable position and that's something that narcissa, knowingly or unknowingly, takes advantage of. and i think anyone could've taken advantage of pansy like that with the right instrument. this entire relationship is honestly just a gigantic character study of repressed lesbianism that they (mostly pansy) don't fully comprehend and the cycle of abuse. and i also like this au because it doesn't redeem narcissa. she's a victim and an abuser, she really did have good intentions as a sister and mother and a wife and as a role model to pansy and she just failed at all of it. sometimes good intentions aren't enough and some people will never forgive you

and YES, i absolutely do believe narcissa and lucy have separate bedrooms !!!!!

in addition to this, there's a continuation of this au where rita and pansy strike up an unlikely friendship where rita gives her an internship at the daily prophet after the entire wizarding world her shunned and turned their backs on pansy. this relationship would genuinely be entirely platonic and extremely healthy for both of them. sort of like a aunt/niece type relationship where they just become this out of nowhere-family <3

this took me well over 1h to answer...... i love yapping....

[getawayfox]

For @crazybutgood who gave me “airborne” as a prompt🤍

[loneheir]

🚨 rob is filming a new dior promo ! yay

[marimayscarlett]

Oh you visited Finnland? I have heard that it is really cold there during winter 🥶

Hi 👋🏻

Yes, last week I visited Helsinki for a few days for a little city trip and really had a great time 😊 Finland during winter reaches extremely low temperatures, I think around -25°C or even colder, at least in the south ❄️ I'm not entirely sure, but @gloomy-blonde is an expert on enduring this harsh weather, so please correct me if I'm wrong 🙏🏻

Technically it's already spring, but during our time there the temperatures were around 0°C to +3°C max and it snowed for the most part of our travel. Still, it was a wonderful experience, Helsinki is such a beautiful city, quite relaxed and not that overcrowded, and the food is delicious 🤌🏻

Here are some little impressions, including me being extremely delighted by an icicle I found which was bigger than my hand 🧊 and the hotel in which the Rammstein guys live when they're playing in Helsinki 🏨 (top row in the middle):